#this required my very last drop of creativity

[plumiipixel]

holy light.

[captdedeyes]

Friendly reminder that Wix.com is an Israeli-based company (& some website builders to look into instead)

I know the BDS movement is not targeting Wix.com specifically (see here for the companies they're currently boycotting) but since Wix originated in Israel as early as 2006, it would be best to drop them as soon as you can.

And while you're at it, you should leave DeviantArt too, since that company is owned by Wix. I deleted my DA account about a year ago not just because of their generative AI debacle but also because of their affiliation with their parent company. And just last month, DA has since shown their SUPPORT for Israel in the middle of Israel actively genociding the Palestinian people 😬

Anyway, I used to use Wix and I stopped using it around the same time that I left DA, but I never closed my Wix account until now. What WAS nice about Wix was how easy it was to build a site with nothing but a drag-and-drop system without any need to code.

So if you're using Wix for your portfolio, your school projects, or for anything else, then where can you go?

Here are some recommendations that you can look into for website builders that you can start for FREE and are NOT tied to a big, corporate entity (below the cut) 👇👇

Carrd.co

This is what I used to build my link hub and my portfolio, so I have the most experience with this platform.

It's highly customizable with a drag-and-drop arrangement system, but it's not as open-ended as Wix. Still though, it's easy to grasp & set up without requiring any coding knowledge. The most "coding" you may ever have to deal with is markdown formatting (carrd provides an on-screen cheatsheet whenever you're editing text!) and section breaks (which is used to define headers, footers, individual pages, sections of a page, etc.) which are EXTREMELY useful.

There's limits to using this site builder for free (max of 2 websites & a max of 100 elements per site), but even then you can get a lot of mileage out of carrd.

mmm.page

This is a VERY funny & charming website builder. The drag-and-drop system is just as open-ended as Wix, but it encourages you to get messy. Hell, you can make it just as messy as the early internet days, except the way you can arrange elements & images allows for more room for creativity.

Straw.page

This is an extremely simple website builder that you can start from scratch, except it's made to be accessible from your phone. As such, the controls are limited and intentionally simple, but I can see this being a decent website builder to start with if all you have is your phone. The other options above are also accessible from your phone, but this one is by far one of the the simplest website builders available.

Hotglue.me

This is also a very simple & rudimentary website builder that allows you to make a webpage from scratch, except it's not as easy to use on a mobile phone.

At a glance, its features are not as robust or easy to pick up like the previous options, but you can still create objects with a simple double click and drag them around, add text, and insert images or embeds.

Mind you, this launched in the 2010s and has likely stayed that way ever since, which means that it may not have support for mobile phone displays, so whether or not you wanna try your hand at building something on there is completely up to you!

Sadgrl's Layout Editor

sadgrl.online is where I gathered most of these no-code site builders! I highly recommend looking through the webmaster links for more website-building info.

This simple site builder is for use on Neocities, which is a website hosting service that you can start using for free. This is the closest thing to building a site that resembles the early internet days, but the sites you can make are also responsive to mobile devices! This can be a good place to start if this kind of thing is your jam and you have little to no coding experience.

Although I will say, even if it sounds daunting at first, learning how to code in HTML and CSS is one of the most liberating experiences that anyone can have, even if you don't come from a website scripting background. It's like cooking a meal for yourself. So if you want to take that route, then I encourage to you at least try it!

Most of these website builders I reviewed were largely done at a glance, so I'm certainly missing out on how deep they can go.

Oh, and of course as always, Free Palestine 🇵🇸

[lorephobic]

literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped

A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence

an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.

thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag

A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn

a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in

alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship

The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]

how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired

may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn

alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay

Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry

a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion

a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such

least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn

if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me

edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!

[books]

Writing Workshop Week 3: Stories of a Place

Hello again, my very talented writers of tumblr! I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed reading your work. I’ve seen such stellar craft happening, and I’m eager to see where you’ll take this next prompt.

In week 1, we focused on a single object. In week 2, we attended to the objects in our environment. This week, we’re considering the environment as a whole—setting.

One of the reasons I’ve chosen this order specifically, small to large, is because setting can become overwhelming. But last week we already practiced it in our real environments by observing our surroundings, and putting those details into our work. Setting is not as huge and amorphous as it may seem—when it comes down to it, setting is the interaction between character and place. Notice I didn’t say that setting is the place itself, and that’s because a place is meaningless without grounding it in the personal stakes of a character. It’s like walking around a grocery store and not putting anything in your cart. A setting only exists to hold its contents. 

Setting can refer to the largest and smallest of places: universe, galaxy, planet, continent, country, city, home, bedroom, pillow fort. Setting can also refer to time: millennium, century, decade, year, month, week, day, hour, minute, second. 

In writing, not all of these things have to be defined, nor should they. The difficulty in setting is the negotiation between our lived reality—in which we have all of this information at all times—and the restrictive nature of writing, in which we not only control all these variables, but we also have to organize and convey them. In reality, events can occur simultaneously. You can drop a plate at the same time you get a text message. But in writing, even if those things happen at the same time in the lived reality of your character, you have to convey the plate dropping and then the phone vibrating in consecutive sentences, linked usually by the word “simultaneously.” Your reader then retroactively crafts those moments happening at once in their memory, but there is a brief moment between those two details where the reader knows the plate has dropped but not that the phone will vibrate. Just as a film is restricted to the width of a camera’s lens, writing is restricted to the sentence. As immersive as writing can be, it is still always a constructed thing.

When it comes to setting, you not only have control over all these details, you also have to figure out the order of information those details are conveyed. Which brings me to…

Decision Fatigue

One of the reasons people think fanfiction is “easier” than original fiction is because there are fewer decisions to make. You have an established universe to play in and so you don’t have to pull up a name generator to figure out the name of your protagonist, or however you make those choices. But that’s not true—fanfiction requires a different type of decision-making and therefore a different (but equally difficult) skill set of creative thinking. The analogy I like to use is a playground versus a beach. On a playground, the equipment is already there, but you can use it however you want. On a beach, you have to decide what to bring with you. One is not inherently better than the other. It’s all play. 

I say this because I’ve coached a lot of writers who are transitioning from fanfiction to original fiction. It can be jarring to go from the playground to a beach. And so I see a lot of writers succumb to decision fatigue—the exhaustion of creativity. You have to decide what kind of car your character drives, how old they are, where they live, what they do for a living, their relationships, the conflicts of those relationships, their educational background, and so on. Creativity is making decisions. And that’s why it’s hard.

Relevance

I would argue that setting is the most difficult series of decisions to make. Our entry into a new piece is generally a character, a premise, or an image. Or, as we say on Tumblr, we put a guy in situations. That guy’s environment will affect him and his situations, because that environment will either help or hinder him in some way. A meet-cute, for example, is nearly always related to setting.

I remember doing my first generative workshop on setting. It sent me into a spiral I couldn’t climb out of for four years. The spiral was this:

All narratives, even narrative poems (as opposed to lyrical), exist in a time and place, and the author has control of those factors. The more specific those details are, the stronger the story becomes. The specificity of those details is rendered in imagery. Ergo, I have to develop my imagery.

And now I’m going to tell you the result of that line of thinking so you don’t fall into the same trap: I wrote a totally unpublishable novel. It was too long and not very interesting, and both of those things happened because I was more dedicated to developing my setting than my story. 

Although that was great practice, it kind of sucked to spend an entire year working on something only to put it in a drawer and never look at it again. What pulled me out of the spiral was dedicating myself to narration—I decided I was only obligated to describe that which my narrator observed. And because I didn’t want to bother with setting anymore, I made a character who was totally oblivious.

(We’ll be looking at narration next week.)

I began to view the setting through a character rather than around a character. My narrator was narrow-focused and obsessive, so I was only obligated to write that which came into the one-lane bridge of her attention. In other words, I only wrote what was relevant to her. And the only thing that was relevant to her was the object of her fixation. 

The big caveat here is that a story isn’t always obligated to its narrator. That’s a choice I’ve made for my own work, because I’m interested in narrators and the development of voice. My prose will never be beautiful or floral. I’ll never have the patience to lovingly describe what it’s like to live in Ohio. I’ll probably only ever write a character who has driven past the HELL IS REAL sign a dozen times and who maybe has strong opinions on corn. It’s the best way I can find to help me avoid the decision fatigue of building an entire world. 

Prompt time!

For this week’s activity, I’d like you to think of a place you really love. This can be your home town or the house where you grew up or wherever has brought you joy. (Remember: love inspires.) 

Next, I’d like you to write 3 facts of public information and 3 facts of private information about that place. 

Public information is anything that can be found, either by researching the place or visiting it. This could be factual—population, square footage, location. It could also involve community knowledge, like legends, cultures, or customs. It can also include major historical events. If you were to show this place to a total stranger, what would you tell them about it? This part may require some research. 

Private information is what can’t be known by anyone but you (and maybe the people who were there with you). This includes memories you have of the place, secrets, unknown histories; anything that can’t be understood unless you have intimate knowledge of the place or lived there during a particular moment. 

For example, when I taught in the South, I had a lot of students who had lived through Hurricane Katrina. They were all young children at the time. When I had them do this activity, many of them chose to list facts that anyone could find about New Orleans in August of 2005—that there were over 1300 casualties, that Katrina was a Category 5 hurricane. They also shared things that no one else could know, about their families housing total strangers whose homes were destroyed, about living for days or even weeks without electricity. About why their parents chose to stay rather than leave, or leave rather than stay. About loved ones who had died.

Once you have your 6 things, I’d like you to write a piece based on them. Here are some ways you can approach it:

If you want to write nonfiction, tell the story of one of your private pieces of information.

If you want to write fiction, write a story using at least one of the public pieces of information. For example, you can tell the story of a legend, or make a legend up. Or you could do something similar to what we did last week, where you take those three pieces of information and weave them in.

If you want to write a poem, try to capture the sense of place by using one or more pieces of information, either private or public.

If you want to write something experimental, write a story about a piece of private information from the perspective of the place itself. 

You don’t have to share your 6 things (unless you want to). While you’re writing, note the details that emerge naturally while drafting, what becomes relevant to the story versus what doesn’t. Like our previous prompts, allow yourself to lean into associative thinking and make connections with your memories.

Questions? Ask ‘em here before EOD Tuesday so @bettsfic can answer them on Wednesday. And remember to tag your work #tumblr writing workshop with betts if you want her to read your work and possibly feature it on Friday!

And, for those just joining us: @bettsfic is running a writing workshop on @books this month. Want to know more? Start here.

[heresthestorymorningglory]

Electric Touch

Summary: You're helping Lars to explore his limitations with touch.

A/N: SO, (bear with me this is going to be a beast of an author's note okay?)

Y'all know that I'm a part of the Goosecord, a glorious server filled with even more glorious people. One of these beautiful humans in particular, I'm convinced is my UK doppelganger, and no you can't change my mind. I met her in July completely by accident when I fell in love with her writing style (her Ken is still my #1 favourite) and she introduced me to the Goosecord; We're on the same wavelength with A LOT. She's joined the short list of beautiful women I affectionately refer to as my "soul sisters" She's helped me through hurdles both creatively and personally over the last six months and I'll reach the character limit if I carry on and on about how truly wonderful she is and how grateful I am to have met her (you're stuck with me now for forever my dear 😘) Anywho, amongst the plethora of things we discovered we have in common, birthdays is one of them; we're less than a week apart and she shares her birthday with someone who was very special to me growing up. I wholly and completely believe in divine intervention and she came flying into my life as it started to fall apart.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm talking about my gorgeous partner in crime @ken-dom

All this to say, to celebrate this wonderful woman's birthday, I not only watched Lars And The Real Girl in its entirety, but decided I was going to jump with both feet into the Lars world and took a stab at writing him the first time in her honour. Be gentle friends I'm not great at the romance.

Usually, I put an NSFW on all of my work; for quite possibly the first time ever, it's not required. Title inspo comes from T Swift (don't come for me) and Fall Out Boy's Electric Touch here

Happiest of (early) birthdays my darling soul sister (early af because I have no willpower or self control to wait til next month) Hopefully I've done your Lars justice 🩷

All my love,

K 💙

The gravel crunched under your boots as you made your way up the driveway, There was a chill to the air still despite the snow having almost completely melted. You pulled your hat down tighter around your ears. Vertigo by Griff playing in your headphones as Lars came into view; the ax in his hands splitting the piece of wood underneath it with such ease you once teased him you were certain the wood was fake, or rotted so badly that he could simply pull it apart with his bare hands. 

Lars being Lars, had to put your ridiculous accusation to the test immediately, putting the ax down…blade facing away of course…he picked a piece off the pile and stood in front of you where you waited patiently a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips at the seriousness on his face. 

He held the log in both hands, pulling hard, the tips of his fingers white from the pressure pushing on the lumber. 

He sighed with effort before dropping his shoulders “See?” 

You nodded “My mistake” 

He had shaken his head with a small laugh as he turned back to his work at hand as if you had been ridiculous for even suggesting such a thing. 

That had been onwards a month ago now, and his chuckle of disbelief at your audacity that he could simply tear wood in half was something you had thought about ever since. 

You knew Lars was unique, that things with him would be…less than conventional, his time with Bianca had made that apparent to everyone. You had told him, this would all be on his terms, his comfort was the most important thing to you; and of course, the last thing you had wanted to do was replace Bianca, you could never; she was special. 

Lars’ face broke into a grin as he looked up and saw you watching him. He waved excitedly and you grinned, his smile infectious waving back before chuckling to yourself, biting gently on your index finger as he simply turned back to the woodpile to carry on chopping as if you hadn’t been there at all. 

You pulled your headphones from your ears and dropped them in your pocket as you moved to lean against the garage, one foot propped against the siding as you folded your arms across your chest, your manicured thumbnail finding its way between your teeth as you watched him intently. 

In true Lars fashion, despite his physical exertion, he was dressed in at least four layers. You watched as he put the ax down to peel off the top layer before looking around for somewhere to put the puffy blue jacket that wasn’t the spongy wet grass. 

“I’ll hold it” you called, holding out your hand beckoning him to bring it to you 

He nodded before jogging over to where you stood passing it to you, the tips of his fingers brushing over the length of yours, the briefest touch, but you were certain he was aware. 

“Thanks” he smiled tight lipped as you folded the jacket over your arms watching him jog back to the woodpile. 

“He really is something isn’t he?” 

You turned to see Karin standing next to you, bundled against the cold and smiled with a nod, turning your attention back to Lars. 

“He really is” you agreed. 

“Wanna come inside?” she asked gesturing toward the house “It’s a lot warmer than out here” 

You shook your head “I’m okay, thanks” 

“I bet you are,” she smirked before turning back toward the house “Door’s open if you change your mind” 

You wouldn’t. 

Watching Lars in his own environment was one of your favourite things to do; he could be himself and be comfortable. He didn’t have to pretend around you he had said one night as you sat across from each other cross legged on his small bed working on touch therapy. 

What he didn’t know was touch therapy helped you just as much as it helped him. You struggled with being touched, albeit not to the same degree, but Lars made it bearable. With him, you didn’t mind that the ghost of his fingers lingered on the back of your hand long after he had taken them away.

You straightened as he sauntered over to where you stood against the garage, positive he was oblivious to how effortlessly sexy he made something as simple as walking. 

He leaned the ax against the wall with a sniff, wiping his sleeve over his nose. Despite the cold, his face glistened with sweat. 

“Want to go inside?” he asked tipping his head slightly in the adorable way he always did “You must be cold”

“Burning up actually” you winked, watching his cheeks burn red as he immediately dropped his gaze to look between your feet. “I’m only teasing” you half lied “Karin said she-”

“I was thinking we could-” he started, before shifting uncomfortably his head still dropped 

You waited quietly for him to collect his thoughts and try again. 

“That we could..have some…us time” he stammered, peeking up at you from under his long lashes making your heart flip in your chest “I-if you want”

You had been seeing each other almost daily for over a month and you still made him nervous; especially when he’d had things on his mind. 

“I would love to” you smiled, keeping your voice soft. 

His head shot up nearly colliding with yours in the process, his blue eyes sparkling with an excitement that made you giggle “Yeah?” 

You nodded with a laugh “Yeah”

“Okay” he nodded, ushering you forward, but careful not to touch the small of your back as you passed. 

He reached around you, opening the door before stepping back, letting you walk in first. 

“I’m sorry for the mess” he apologized, pushing the door closed as he pulled his gloves off

Your eyes scanned the room, it was impeccable save for the cereal bowl on the small table.

“You don’t have to apologize” you smiled “This is your home”

He waved his hand dismissively and shrugged out of his jacket, pulling his hat off and hanging both on hooks by the door. 

You unzipped your own jacket, biting your lip gently with a smirk when you felt him help you tug it off before hanging it next to his. You slid your boots off, setting your hat on top before turning your attention back to Lars, who was wringing his hands nervously.

“Lars?” you asked softly, worried if you spoke much louder you might spook him 

He looked up quickly, almost like he’d forgotten you were there. 

“Are you alright?” you asked, raising an eyebrow 

He nodded “We should- Can we…can we sit?” he asked, gesturing to his small bed. 

“Sure” you nodded before sitting on the edge of the mattress, moving to cross your legs in front of you as he sat across from you. “Did you have something in mind for tonight?” 

He was nervous, but you had accepted the fact that merely, you, being in his presence was enough to make him jittery. This was something different though…

You sat with your hands collapsed in your lap waiting for him to ease himself into his comfort zone. This had become something of a routine for the two of you, usually you visited with Karin and Gus, long enough for a cup of tea or coffee maybe dinner before you and Lars would retire to his small space in the garage, where he would build you a small fire and you would sit across from each other on the small bed while he plucked up the courage to ask if he could “try again” 

It always started the same, hesitant and slow as his fingers traced the back of your hand; after a few minutes he would nod, that was his silent indication you could do the same. 

Today you had come prepared, you sat across from him in a t-shirt despite the cold temperatures outside, the small garage always warmed up quickly. Each day you had sat doing this with him, he had managed to progress further up the length of your arm, touching and holding for longer increments each time. 

He let out a heavy sigh swallowing hard, his hands folded in front of him 

“We don’t have to do this tonight if you’re not ready” you reassured and he immediately shook his head 

“No, I want to” he paused looking up at you “Un-unless you don’t want-? 

“I’m  ready for whatever you’re comfortable with sweetheart” 

His cheeks flushed the slightest shade of pink before he nodded, hoping you hadn’t noticed. You pretended not to. 

“I…” he let out another heavy sigh “Can I-” he tried again before he faltered 

“Take your time” you soothed 

He nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as he took a deep breath in through his nose. 

He fidgeted sitting across from you as you waited; he was transfixed on his hands in his lap, not making eye contact with you. “Would it be alright if we….if I….” he dropped his voice to a near non existent whisper “If I kissed you?” Again, like he had out in the yard, he peeked up at you from under his long eyelashes, nervous for your answer. 

“You want to kiss me?” you asked, unable to keep the growing smile off your face; it was such an innocent request, anyone else would have thought nothing of it, would have just went for it, but not Lars. 

He nodded quickly before dropping his gaze. 

“I-if you want” he mumbled quickly

“Lars…” you smiled, reaching to rest a hand on his knee, in lieu of reaching for his bare hand. “Look at me” 

Slowly he lifted his head  blinking rapidly “It's okay if you don't, I understand” 

“I would love to” He looked up almost in awe as you continued “Are you sure you're ready for that?” 

He nodded determinedly 

“We'll go slow” you smiled offering your hand for him to take the initiative. 

Almost immediately he reached out, taking your hand in his. This was something he had grown comfortable with, anything else was much more of a struggle. His hand slowly slid up the length of your arm. 

He let out a shaky breath knowing what would follow, your mirror of his movements along his own arm. 

He jumped back, startling you slightly “Wait wait” 

You dropped your hand, your own heartbeat subsiding in your ears watching as he stood and stripped off everything but his undershirt and sweats before he sat back down. 

“I want to feel it this time” he explained “More than before”

Your own excitement peaked at his sudden boldness as he returned his hand to your upper arm. 

“If you want to stop, just say so, okay?” You asked, finding yourself slightly nervous at the prospect of pushing him too far. 

He nodded but didn't make eye contact as his hand settled on your shoulder. 

His breath caught in his throat as your hand inched up his bicep, hesitating briefly when he jumped. 

“Okay?” You asked

“Yes,” he whispered. Eyes still focused on his own movements. 

Your eyes fluttered closed as his large hand slid up the length of your neck, his calloused fingers hesitant, and warm tickling your skin. The low moan in the back of your throat stopped Lars immediately. 

“Did I hurt you?” He asked, worry evident in his voice 

You shook your head slowly, opening your eyes. “No, baby” you whispered, reminding yourself you needed to keep your composure. 

He cupped your cheek and you sighed leaning into his touch. 

His breath was shaky as he felt your hand move from his shoulder, creeping closer to his neck, to bare skin. 

He could do this. He wanted to do this. He wanted to do this with you. 

“May I?” You asked softly, fingers hovering on the neck of his undershirt. 

Again, he nodded. You still kept your movements slow, your heart beating hard in your chest, very aware this was foreign territory for Lars. 

He flinched almost as soon as your skin made contact with his, but he didn't pull away. 

To your surprise he shifted, moving himself closer to you. His hands moving to your waist pulling you into a kneel. His hands were extremely warm, even through the thin fabric of your t-shirt. 

You moved closer, but stopped short, letting him keep control of the situation. His breath was warm against your face given your new proximity. 

He took your face in both hands all at once, pressing his lips firmly against yours. You gasped, your hands finding his waist as his tongue pushed past your lips before he hesitated, but didn't pull back. Your lips parted, giving him the permission he'd hoped for. 

He whimpered, making your stomach flip, your fingers curling gently against his hips as he deepened your kiss, pulling your body flush against his.  

His mouth moved eagerly against yours, the unmistakable bulge pressing against your leg as his arms wrapped around your back. He ground his hips against your thigh, his breathing heavy. 

In spite of your best efforts, you moaned into your kiss, which only seemed to spur Lars on, he rocked against you, his hands finding their way into your hair, fingers tangling around the strands. 

Lars had completely lost himself in the moment; lost himself in you. You had managed to pull yourself out of the intoxicating spell you’d slipped under, prying your lips from his, breathing hard as Lars moaned into your neck, his fingers curling tightly against your back, your thigh suddenly damp. 

As reality came crashing back around him Lars sat back, a look you could only assume was nothing short of fear etched all over his face. 

“I’m sorry” he apologized, his eyes welling up with tears “I-I didn’t mean to”

Your features immediately softened opting to touch his arm gently instead of his face. “Lars, baby, you have nothing to be sorry for” 

His brow furrowed slightly as he considered your words blinking away the tears “I don’t?” 

“No,” you shook your head with a smile reaching to push his hair back out of his eyes “Never” 

“Never?” He asked, his nose scrunching slightly with his skepticism 

“Not with me” 

He nodded slowly, seemingly accepting this to be true. 

“Did I hurt you?” you asked, worried that you may have unintentionally thrust him from his comfort zone. “How’s the burning?”

He shook his head “I don’t, it doesn’t….it’s different”

“Good different?” you asked 

“Good different” His face broke into a grin “Can we do it again?” 

You chuckled to yourself, as much as you were more than willing to do it again, you shook your head 

His face fell immediately “Did I do it wrong?” panic obvious. 

“Oh Lars, no” you shook your head with a small laugh “It was wonderful” 

His shoulders dropped as he visibly relaxed 

“But wouldn’t you rather take it slow?” you asked “Go at a pace you’re comfortable with?” 

He considered this with a nod “I just want you to be happy”

“I am happy” you stressed “How could I not be with a stud like you?” 

He scoffed, again scrunching his nose as he shook his head in disagreement his cheeks flushing a deep crimson 

You laughed, making him bashful was so easy to do. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up and I’ll play with your hair the way you like until you fall asleep?”

He nodded “Yes please” 

“Well then,” you smiled, gesturing toward the bathroom as you both got to your feet

He turned toward the bathroom, walking a step and a half before he turned back around “Hey..” 

You looked up from pulling the covers back on the bed “Hmm?” 

You stood up fully as he came back to where you stood “I forgot to tell you Happy Birthday” 

He bent to kiss you on the cheek before promptly turning on his heel and disappearing into the bathroom before you had a chance to register what had happened. 

You stood alone in the small converted garage laughing lightly to yourself, your fingertips resting where his lips had been moments before, still able to feel their ghostly imprint. 

“Thank you” you smirked to yourself before climbing between the sheets and waited for Lars to join you.

[theboytatu]

on my youth - wayv: a review

it's not often that i look forward to an album as much as i did with this one tbh, so it was a little hard to accept the song description SM dropped for on my youth before it was released. "low tempo emotional hip hop ballad" is definitely not what i look for in kpop/cpop (this term will be used interchangeably sorry to the way is cpop purists following me) and i immediately let my expectations drop to nearly zero when this came out. SM has had a very, and i mean VERY hit or miss year - probably a combination of the hybe/kakao takeover fiasco and industry-wide creative exhaustion - for all their idols, with long-awaited comebacks missing the mark abysmally or simply putting out subpar "fine at best" insipid music.

wayv's last (and only) full album was released in the midst of the 2020 lockdown - a time so different in every aspect but specifically in the kpop world it feels like it could have been a lifetime ago - and after their 9/11, lineup changes, months of delays and two mini albums with mixed results, it's safe to say this album was make or break for the group. with that lengthy foreword out of the way i am very happy to inform that wayv not only delivered - they surpassed all my expectations and managed to deftly execute what was in their case their most awaited comeback ever. here are my highlights from the album:

on my youth

like i said, i really didn't know what to expect for an emotional hip hop ballad but this song packs a punch like few other low tempo title tracks do. it seems to hit every mark for a minor key progression - the slow start, the build-up, the emotional first verse being delivered beautifully by xiaojun's superb ability to emote, along with a really nice, kinda muted instrumental that consists of piano, some synths and a restrained percussion.

it even manages to deliver on the required second verse slow rapping about how people say we're too young to know better - thanks to yangyang's personality shining through on these verses the shtick manages to go from cheesy to enjoyable, and even hendery allows himself a moment or two of true sincerity in his rap.

the chorus is a welcomed switch-up with a catchy hook that quickly becomes an ear-worm. it's the perfect balance to make this song go from b-side to title track material. the final chorus has an amazing instrumental climax that matches the grandiose, emotional vibe of the song's theme and it translates amazingly in the performance video's choreography.

overall this song might be top 3 wayv's title tracks depending on who you ask. for me it's definitely up there and i actually love the english version better because well, you can tell this was originally meant to be an english language song. i give it a 9/10 (and i famously hate slower songs)

poppin' love

a lot of people would say that this should've been the title track and they might be right. i'm not sure what the artistic direction for this comeback was built around, but the emotional title track was definitely picked for a reason over a more conventional, easy sell like this one. but this one is not only an easy sell, it's yet another hit that proves wayv is the best and most 90s boyband coded group in kpop right now - because they are perfect for it. they fit the vibes and the sound in a way that few, if none, other current groups can pull off without feeling gimmicky.

the chorus is sultry enough to keep it in the r&b territory but the added hip hop elements keep it super energizing. it's like if love talk and nectar had a baby. the selling point for me is the added harmonization they included in the refrain of "you're the only one" and it's so cool. it feels like the entire song is tightly built around the bassline and the high melody of the chorus - at 3:05 minutes it gives you the exact amount you need of everything. nothing lags behind and nothing fizzles out too quickly. it has enough grit to stick your hands into while reimagining the classic boyband elements enough to keep you on your toes. a HIGH 10/10 from me.

rodeo

this song is just bonkers. is it that groundbreaking or original? not really, but it manages to make it feel soooo exciting it's like i've never heard a dj snake beat drop in my life lmfaooo 😭 the vocals are crunchy enough to give me asmr when putting on my headphones. the instrumental while very basic edm still punches in with some cool drums - but of course the star of the show is the bass drop.

referencing lil jon in this should be enough to give them an award tbh. like this is giving nct 127 unserious club banger in the best of ways.... and they still hold it down with their own personalities. this is not markyong going crazy with himalayas, this is yangdery showing they can pull off subunit songs (and winwin is there too i guess) while doing whatever in the recording booth. rodeo is just a VERY enjoyable kpop rap line playground and trust that i will eat it up every time it comes on. 9/10

moonlight

there are songs that can be amazing when you play the album, and there are songs that you just instantly know will be superior if you hear them performed live. moonlight is the second kind, and the entire vocal structure is enough to make me want to see wayv at a concert at least once in my life.

the chorus is insane. the stacked vocals give it a depth that is almost cinematic and i do need to give kun, ten and xiaojun their tens for this accomplishment, but specially kun. sure - xiaojun might be the most technically gifted vocalist in the group and i am in love with his tone, but this song has kun all over the foundations. i dont have the stems for the track but i can bet my life that kun recorded at least five layers for that chorus. his tone is so distinctive i can almost only hear him during the high points of the song.

anyway, this song is super pretty. it's just gorgeously designed. i actually wish it was a vocal line only song because the compulsory rap additions do not fit with the rest of the atmosphere at all. still, this gets a 10/10.

lighthouse

when i heard this the first time i wrote "wayv outsold both exo AND shinee for ballad of the year at sm" and i stand by it. again, this style is just classic boyband slow tear jerker and they execute it perfectly. i'm a notorious hater of ballads in kpop and yet not only can i sit through this every time i put on the album, i actively seek it out. like holy shit, this only happens with exo for me.

the song is very straightforward - a heartbreak song about missing the girl they lost. but it's so well made it just works perfectly. another point where wayv need to be praised is their ability to emote. xiaojun specially is amazing at this - you can hear the yearning in his voice. i actually think ten has also learned from him because he comes across just as sincere in this. (kun does famously stiffen up which is not an issue here but still, xiaojun carries this ballad for sure). the instrumental is very cozy and i like how the whole track is designed to sound as if they're singing from just slightly behind you. 9/10

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello MBTI-notes! I'm an INTJ seeking for help on how to deal w my situation that involves considering finance. I tend to be good at dealing with these practical problems but this dilemma gets mixed into a great relationship that I'm very unwilling to let go, my relationship w my current bf who's INFJ.

I'm not someone who seeks a lavish lifestyle, but I'm apprehensive about facing homelessness in the future, having to rent year-round.

We've been together for over six years. Meeting him brings me so much joy; he's truly the man of my dreams I've been waiting for all these years. My second love. He's warm, gentle, kind-hearted. I can feel his sincerity, he treats me with affection, often buying gifts to make me happy, doting on me. He cooks delicious meals and often cooks for me. Attentive, taking care of me in every way, always proactive in expressing his love. We also understand each other in a spiritual way that no one had ever done to me in my life. A quiet morning with him is blissful. Sometimes, we even know what each other is thinking without speaking.

Everything seems perfect; his love for me is beautiful, but unfortunately, he comes from a difficult family background. Ten years ago, his family had to sell their house to help his father pay off a large debt, and since then, they've been renting. His mother passed away long ago, and now he lives with his father and older brother. He's filial, responsible for the family, the main pillar, burdened with the responsibility of providing for their needs. Financial burden had been his obstacle both in personal relationship & job. Without intrinsic motivation, maybe he would have dropped uni in his last year.

Understanding his situation, I don't demand material things from him. Even when we dine out, I share expenses with him, alternating who pays to ease his financial burden. Often, I feel sorry for him, such a good man in such dire family circumstances. My own family is luckier; we don't have to pay rent monthly, though we're just a middle-class family, not affluent.

In this relationship, I feel like I'm standing at a crossroads. Because of his financial constraints, loving him requires me to consider many things: thoughts of the future, a small family, future children. Is it okay to have no stable home, to rent from year to year? Will we argue over financial matters constantly? Is love enough to overcome hunger? I truly don't know. We love each other sincerely; I'd regret losing him. Is this economic instability sustainable? Should I let go of a good but poor man? I wish he was at least richer.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

----------------------

Deep down, you suspect this is a once-in-a-lifetime relationship, and you may be right. Can you really put a price tag on something as precious as that? You're basically asking whether one can put a price on love. It is a matter of opinion. Some will say yes, some will say no. Perhaps I'm a hopeless romantic, so I would say no. At the end of the day, it is a judgment you have to make based on what you value most in life or how you decide to rank your values. It's not my place to tell you what you value or what to value.

The obvious question is: Have you brought this issue up with him and have you had productive discussions about it? If so, what are the key points you keep getting stuck on? If you haven't discussed it properly yet, that's a problem, because these things should already be clarified by year six of a relationship.

Like you said, you don't demand to live lavishly. You are mainly concerned with financial security, and you use home ownership as a barometer. I don't believe home ownership is an impossible goal for two highly motivated people. You might have to hustle, work hard, be creative, manage finances very closely, choose your residence wisely, etc, but it's possible. It might also help to get expert financial guidance. However, you both have to commit to the goal and make some sacrifices in order to achieve it. For example, he may have to pull back a little from his family duties, or you may have to put off children for a few years.

What are you each willing to sacrifice in order to contribute an equitable effort to this goal of home ownership? In a perfect world, these practical matters shouldn't interfere with love. In reality, they don't have to, as long as you can communicate, negotiate, compromise, and reach an agreement that both parties can live with and abide by. Although money can be a sensitive issue, it is a practical problem, isn't it? So, use practical methods to resolve it.

When you feel stuck, it often means you haven't taken enough action to address a problem. And you should remember that big problems can't usually be solved all at once. You need to break it up into steps and then take one step at a time. By doing this, you create some forward momentum and feel less stuck. Since you are both Ni dom, it might be worth mentioning that you shouldn't approach life as though every decision is a life-or-death or all-or-nothing decision. It is okay to change your mind upon gathering more evidence that things aren't going to work out after all. Until then, all you can do is give it your best shot, step by step. A great way to avoid regret is to make sure you've completely exhausted the opportunity before deciding to move on to the next one.

[goawaypopup]

Roddacember Day 18: Ripples

(A remastered rant from the depths of the Deltora Quest Discord server.)

There is a timeline out there where the quest failed because Queen Bee murdered the questers to death in her yard with her bees before they could explain.

She is a contact of the Resistance. Finding the Belt on Lief's body, complete with three gems in place, she'd pretty well know what was up. She doesn't strike me as the sort to cast off the task to anyone else, especially not with the burden of guilt for it.

The next-in-line is dead, but the resistance doesn't know that. The Belt has done what it never did in the series, swapping over to the next in line - Marilen? Or can it be anybody who shares Adin's line? Or does Marilen count as dead because she's currently a spooky ghost in the Valley of the Lost? Who knows. The resistance can figure that out and have their own Dain reveal on their own schedule after the Belt's complete.

The bees are very intelligent and very fast. They can follow directions and travel quickly and discreetly. Queen Bee may be more fragile than the previous heroes, but she doesn't even need to be there to get the last four gems. Luckily, Lief had a handy map to them too.

The Maze of the Beast would be pretty difficult to pull off, and might require some sort of human party. The hatch could be lifted by a human to let the bees in to search, and the Glus might not even sense them, let alone be able to take them out with its spit. If they could just have a way to actually locate the Amethyst, the stone is soft enough that they very well might be able to bore through it. There is a species of bee that does this with cliffsides!

The problem of finding it might call for some creative solutions. I guess there's no reason not to send a pack of bees down carrying the Belt? If they could lift Steven's cart they can certainly pull that off. Or, for a more fun route, capture a bunch of Grey Guards, tell them you'll pull them back up if they can find the Amethyst, and dump them in the Maze. Grey Guards are very self-serving, it'd work great. Probably fill the Glus up after a pod or two and leave the rest to tear the place up.

Gellick would probably require a strategy to actually kill him. The treasure cavern must have an opening to the air for him to breathe somewhere, and he probably can't spit poison quickly enough to take down an entire swarm of flying insects, but they couldn't really try to tear the gem from his forehead. He's probably at least somewhat poison-coated there, and no doubt he can reach there with his tongue.

Dreaming Spring water might work again here if Queen Bee learned of it, but my thought here is bees carrying Water Eaters - they're locally made, an easy size for a bee to carry, and will definitely cause immediate massive internal damage. And Lief could hold the emerald immediately after Gellick's death, suggesting bees could also.

The Shifting Sands are a bit of an unknown. They took a while to notice Lief, but the buzzing of a rival hive seems to me like something that would set them on guard immediately. And they're uniquely capable of wiping out swarms of small intruders.

I'm not entirely sure what would work best here - fortunately the bees are capable of trying multiple times. Perhaps the best strategy would simply be getting in and out as fast as possible, or doing a stealthy remove and replace like in the original, or something fun like dropping an entire carriage into the pyramid and escaping in the chaos.

There's also the opal's foresight to help out here, which I'm certain Queen Bee would be the sort to use frequently; being a Plains woman, and also just, the way she is.

I was going to delve into the plausibility of bees being able to open doors, but then I remembered the Valley of the Lost's animal-killing mist. That's pretty insurmountable. But this one is something that doesn't have an immediate physical risk.

We're finally going to have to send in the Resistance!

Doom did manage the test before, and even if he probably can't just play again, he can definitely tell others the answer. The question is whether he can be persuaded to help. To round off the theme, I'll propose bee torture for this.

And with that, we have a more or less clear path to Queen Bee of Deltora.

[lovrre]

Pink Walkman~

Eddie Munson X fem black reader 

Word count: 2,277

Summary: you’ve always had a huge crush on Eddie Munson but when you and your best friend make a deal that requires you to confess your feelings things take an unexpected turn. 

Warnings: pure smut, drug use(weed),cursing and a bunch of other stuff…

You had always had a thing for Eddie but he was never really your crowd. He didn’t seem to mess with what he thought was high Society type, high school girls. Plus the crowd you hung with wouldn’t let you hear the end of it. Last year you had him as a partner in your 3d sculpture and art Class. He might have not been good in his other classes but he was very creative and surprisingly good at drawing. He wasn't scary at all, just sweet and funny. You felt like if people actually knew him he wouldn’t have such a bad rep. You were telling your friend June that Tomorrow was your last period with Eddie before you switched classes

“You should definitely tell him you like him when you tutor him today,” June said excitingly at the lunch table. June wasn't like your other friends she didn’t care about social status or clothes just what she found interesting and she was The only other black girl in the school you clicked with.

“absolutely not, we’re cool but not that cool”  “girl he wants you, I can tell by the way his look lingers when you walk,” she says making a motion with her hand. “And you’ve been crushing so hard it might do you good” she says taking a fry off your tray. “No, he’s dose not” you say snatching the fry back and biting it. “why would he invite you over to his house to “smoke” if he didn’t want you” “Maybe because he’s a drug dealer June ?” you explain “if you kiss him OR at least

tell him you like him, I’ll give you my sister's old Walkman, with everything including”

“with the pink case and matching headphones?” You say raising an eyebrow “yes” “It's a deal then” you say smugly. You wanted that walkman since sophomore year and begged June to give it to you because her sister never even touched it.

After the lunch bell rang, you confidently strolled up towards Eddie. “Did you bring the textbook, it's the last day to practice for the final ” you say making sure that your forearm brushed up against his. A Look of horror paints his face as he talks “Shit- I could have sworn you said we’d use yours, I can go pick it up at my house if-”

a smile starts to appear on your lips and not knowing it Eddie starts smiling too “what’s so funny” he says now laughing with you. “Nothing just your face… “ you say motioning your hand around his expression “I have the book,” you say wiping away the tears that had formed due to your laughter. “ I’m just messing with you”

you say loosely grabbing onto his arm and dropping it. Another excuse just to touch him “You scared the shit out of me Y/N”. in reality you knew The situation wasn’t that funny but it was just his adorable face. He is just super cute his dimples that showed with his wide smile or his doe-like eyes. He really was the cutest thing ever and it felt like a big secret that only you were In on.

~~~~~~~~~

After school You and Eddie practice for his final using history flash cards in the caf  “who is the sixth President of the United States?” You say holding the card Close to your chest so he can’t see. You watch Eddie's gears turn as he tries to remember. “Remember the one that we said had the detachable beard”

he sits in silence for a second before answering “umm m...QUINCY ADAMS!” he says slamming down on the table “GOOD JOB, the fifth one in a row” you say giving him a high five before continuing.

After another hour of practice, you’re both were tired. But it still didn’t feel like the right time to talk about your feelings. “I know it was forever ago but does that offer for a smoke sesh still stand” “yeah of course”

~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Eddie, pull up to his house after unbuckling your seatbelt you jump out of the van, you miss-step and accidentally slip on a rock scraping your knee in the process. Luckily Eddie didn’t see and you wipe off any visible dirt. Inside you plop down on his familiar couch. You had been to Eddie’s a couple of times always to grab a textbook or practice for a test never to genuinely hang out

Eddie goes into his room rummaging through threw a drawer before coming back with a small bag of weed. “You smoked before?” Eddie asked setting everything up on the Coffee table in front of us. “Ya, I used to smoke a lot actually,” You say readjusting Yourself on the couch. Eddie looks back at you surprised. “Really you, smoking ‘’a lot” the way he emphasized A lot made you laugh. “Ya before I moved, I wasn’t always Hawkins high society”

” Who would’ve thought”

~~~~~~

40 minutes later you and Eddie were off the walls talking about the dumbest shit imaginable.

“I think that Mr. Hagan is a registered sex offender, ACTUALLY I KNOW HE IS,” you say with A bowl of cereal in your hand that Eddie had got you. “ Nobody gets that mad over girls not wearing short ‘NOBODY” Eddie says pointing at you bowl in hand. you jump up at his validation

“THAT'S WHAT I KEEP SAYING his excuse is “uniform” DO YOU SEE THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIS STUDENTS!” “Just disgusting” Eddie exclaims as he walks into the kitchen “DO YOU WANT SOME PEACHES” he yells form the kitchen. “Yeah, sure”

A minute later Eddie comes out of the kitchen with two open cans of peaches with a fork in one of them. “Here you go malady,” he says handing you the can with the fork, you bring your knees up sitting cross-legged on the couch, blissfully eating the peach slices. when you hear slurping and turn your head to see Eddie inches away downing the peaches like they were soda.

Metal Can to mouth, his head thrown back exposing his Adam’s apple. You watched as the juice ran down his chin and neck leaving him glistening. Your mind instantly went to the gutter you hadn’t been with anyone in over a year and it was starting to take a toll on you

Your mind thought about the taste of his lips covered in peach juice and how sweet it probably tasted. but You closed your eyes tights and opened them Washing away the thoughts. After he finished, he put the can on the coffee table next to yours

Whipping the juice off with his arm Eddie gave you a big smile “FINISHED” he announced. “You’re adorable you know that like literally the cutest”. You say whipping more juice off his chin. For a moment things seemed slow as your hand stay still on his face. In seconds the space between you two was closed. The kiss started off soft and sensual but quickly escalated.

Eddie was grabbing at the back of your neck deepening the kiss “shit- you taste so good” he huffs as his lips finally leave yours for a breath. He Pushes you down on the couch so you’re laying completely flat on the sofa. His hands roam up your shirt hesitantly touching your bare stomach. You grab his hand bringing it up towards your breast.

Your legs wrap around his waist looking for some sort of friction. He stops sucking hickeys on the crook of your neck and looked down at you with lust-filled eyes. “You want this,I understand if -“ you pull his lips into yours only stopping to confirm. “Eddie I want you so fucking bad right now” you breathlessly whisper in his ear. That’s all the confirmation Eddie needs

He Swiftly stands up and picks you up like you weighed nothing. Your legs wrap tightly around his waist, he leads you to his bedroom Plopping you down on the bed. Eddie was over you in a second helping you swiftly remove your clothes leaving you in nothing other than your bra and panties.

You internally praise yourself for wearing your new lacy pink set. Eddie took a second just taking you in before speaking your “so fucking beautiful” your core tightens at his words “take your shirt off” you breathe pulling at it. Without another word, his shirt is off “your wish is my command” he says before lowering himself in between your thighs. Holding them apart as he laid kisses on the insides of your thighs, closer and closer to your wet center.

Eddie loved the way the baby pink lace contrasted with your brown skin, he loved how smooth your skin looked. Just the sight of your Body made him harder

“Stop teasing,” you say from above pushing his shoulder with your foot. “it took me this long to have you I’m going to take my time,” he says begging to slowly rub your clothed cunt. The moisture from your wet core leaks through your lace panties. “So fucking wet” you clenched around nothing. Holding your panties to the side. Eddie began giving kitten licks to your center making you squirm under him.

You bit your lip but couldn’t contain your moans as his licks began to focus on your clit. In one swift moment, Eddie took off his rings and threw them somewhere in the room then sucked on two of his fingers before swiftly rubbing them against your wet slit. Slowly sliding in Eddie began to increase the speed of his tongue while pumping your cunt slowly.

You couldn’t control your body as your legs clenched around his head. “Faster” you moan barely able to speak. Your moans became louder as you feel your core tightening. Eddie quickly stopped throwing off your panties.

your legs squeeze together and He forcefully pulled them apart now eating you out more aggressively than before. He sucks on your clit and makes you call out his name. You now had a hand full of Eddie’s hair and were moving your hips against his mouth chasing Release. “Uhh Eddie don’t stop, don't ever stop” you scream as the knot in your stomach becomes undone. His groans into your center throw you over the edge. You cum all over his mouth, Riding down your orgasm Eddie keeps pumping his fingers inside you.

Finally Finished Eddie brought his fingers towards his mouth a sucked your juices off. “You taste so fucking good y/n,” he says rising back up towards your face. You looked at his face covered in sweat And cum, his hair sticking to his forehead. He just looks down at you with that adorable smile on his face “Oh I want you in me so bad, but first ” you say biting at his ear, you quickly grab a nearby blanket and wipe off his face.

You and him laugh at the act and then the moment stills again. Eddie kisses the hand you just used, the moment was romantic but you break the silence. “I want you in me Now,” you say snaking your hands down to fumble with his belt.

“I got it baby” Eddie pushes your hands down and quickly takes off his belt and throws his jeans off. Eddie leans over you to grab the condoms in his drawer. “What are you getting?”  “A Condom” Eddie replies grabbing one from the box in his drawer “I’m on the pill” you say smiling underneath him. “Oh Y/N You’re tryna kill me”

The thought of filling your tight cunt up with his cum was enough for him to bust right there.

Eddie quickly pushed down his boxers to expose his large pink cock coved in pre cum.

“You’re so big,” you said under your breath but Eddie heard you only fueling his drive. In one swift movement, Eddie plunged deep into your wet core. His dick filled you up and you moved at the stretch of him.

He gave you a second to adjust to his size before plunging into you like there was no tomorrow. Eddie Grabbed your leg a threw it over his shoulder To get a better angle. “so fucking tight” he groans in your ear, you clench around him and he groans. The sounds of your skin slapping against Eddie filled your mind leaving no room for thought. The moans that escaped your mouth were straight out pornographic.

You couldn't help but scratch up his back as he plunged inside of you hitting all the right spots. Eddie tried to hold in his moans but as he slid in and out of you his breaths became labored and he couldn’t hold them “this is mine” he repeated under his breath with every thrust “yours, all yours baby” you repeat in the crook of his neck. You began leaving sloppy kisses on his neck and face as he pounds into you

“Your close, I can feel it…me too baby,” Eddie says lifting your other leg over his shoulder. You feel a familiar knot in your stomach beginning to be undone. “Cum on my dick Y/N” he huffs out “cum in me, fill me ” You moan grabbing at the sheets you cum hard on his dick. Eddie lets out a loud groan and string of cuss words as he fills your cunt up to the brim. “Shit…Jesus. fucking. christ”

~~~~~~~~~

Later After Eddie cleans you and him up you lay your head on his chest and trace his tattoos with your finger “you know I’ve had a crush on you since forever” Eddie says wrapping One of your curls around his finger “No WAY!” you say look up at him chin now resting on his chest. “Yea I used to try so had to get your attention, with the outburst in the cafeteria, doing good on tests, going to BASKETBALL GAMES,” he says laughing to himself “aww baby, me too I’ve been wanting to jump your bones since I met you,” you say while giving him a small peck on the lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Eddie became a well-known couple at Hawkins high. Of course, there was regular name-calling but it was better than you could have hoped. Eddie was the best boyfriend ever and you often listened to music together on your new Walkman.

Author note: this was my first ever fan fic so it’s probably a little wonky.

[sakarrie-creates]

It’s that time of year! Here’s my 2023 art summary! After two years of having to include non-colored pieces, I finally did enough ‘full’ pieces to fill my art summary template! I did have to get a bit creative with the months since I was able to draw a LOT more during the summer, but I’ll take it! Sorry it's a bit blurry. I'm not sure if that's just for the preview or not, but it was a smaller file than normal and since these reflections are 99% for my own interest, I decided it wasn't worth trying to change.

As usual, I got rambly so reflection questions are answered under the cut. The template I used is available here in case anyone else wants to make their own! My fic summary will be coming in a week or so, so stay tuned for the stats and round-up there. :)

What events did you participate in (with art)? Player Appreciation Week, Fandom Trumps Hate, Dear Fellow Traveler (Animatic), Weird People (Editing), SPN Comfortably Queer Zine (dropped), and lots of zine applications for page artist, merch artist, comic artist, and spot artist roles!

What was your biggest challenge this year? While time, like last year, was still a challenge, I think my biggest challenge was a mix of low motivation and an intense perfectionistic mindset. At the start of the year, I got super into TOH and was super hyped about all the zines with apps opening. I really REALLY wanted to get into them and figured I should apply for art too just cause it would increase my overall chances of getting in. After the finale, I did a screenshot redraw that ended up being absolutely fantastic for where my skill level is. I went deeper into rendering than ever before, and somehow it worked for me. 

That probably was the start of my unreasonably high expectations, and I got it into my head that maybe if I could make a whole portfolio of artwork at that quality level, I actually stood a chance at getting into a zine as an artist. From then on, I was hardcore crash-coursing perspective, rendering techniques, and generally trying to improve without allowing room for mistakes. While I do think it helped me grow a lot, it burnt me out so I struggled to work on stuff past summary (when all the zine apps were) and even dropped from the SPN Comfortably Queer Zine cause my imposter syndrome was so strong. (Though that was also partially because it was a ‘sign-up and you’re in’ zine, so they never saw my art during the application process and had no way of knowing if I was good enough.

What was something you were surprised by? I’m pretty sure I discovered the perspective tool is CSP this year! CSP has so many tools I’m not aware of (despite watching tons of tutorials and guides), so it wasn’t super surprising but it was nice. I have to say, they’re a serious hassle to work with and require a higher understanding of vanishing points and such than I currently have, but I could see it being very useful for future scene art pieces.

Did you try anything new this year?

Yes! This year I kicked down the door to the merch world and have been collecting and designing throughout the year. Though the designs have mostly just been for zine app portfolio’s, everything has worked out really well for me and I hope to produce charms for my collection as I improve my skills. Where do you think you most improved? Definitely my confidence in rendering! And probably my rendering itself too. I did a ton more pieces with it this year and it’s definitely a favorite part of the art process for me. I think I’ll have a lot more fun with it this year too, since I’m trying to keep it lower pressure, so I can experiment more to find out what brushes and styles I like most. What are you most proud of? I think I’m most proud of how ambitious I was with my zine apps. Though I didn’t get into any for art and it burned me out a fair bit, I did a lot of hard work and made pieces I can be mostly happy with. As for specific pieces, I’m very proud of my animatic clip for the Dear Fellow Traveler MAP (which is what the Belos art from the summary is from). My portion was about 5 seconds with 24 fully colored and shaded frames. A few of those were moving frames too, so the end result is the closest thing to actual animation I’ve done. I also really like the rendering on the Huntlow Epilogue art and generally how the Steve&Matt hug turned out.

How’d this year compare to your 2023 goals? I honestly couldn’t remember what my goals were, but all things considered, I didn’t do too bad! Thankfully past-Sakarrie was wise and made it a bullet list so I can just check things off. Met: -Player Appreciation Week -Add to zine portfolio -Apply to at least one zine as an artist (fine if don’t get accepted) -Keep experimenting with backgrounds and shading -Pull out some old WIPs -Build more consistency of style

The checked off ones I definitely met, so good for me! This was a very zine-focused year, so I way exceeded those goals. The last two I did do, but they’re a bit subjective. Specifically, I think the ‘WIPs’ I was referring to were old sketches, but most of the old WIPs I revisited were already colored and I was either adding rendered or cleaning them up for zine usage. As for style, I’m REALLY bad at telling haha. That said, my characters seem reasonably similar when I draw them, so I’m going to tentatively count it. Kinda: -One fully colored piece per month

I’m gonna give myself a half check on this one. I didn’t have a fully colored piece every month, but I did have over 12 fully rendered pieces in the end, several of which had backgrounds. So while I didn’t meet the letter of the goal, I feel like I met the spirit of it.

Did Not Meet: -Finish Huntlow comic -30 minutes animatic digitalize rough draft -Maybe make some fanart of my favorite fics

These don’t shock me. They’re all personal projects and this was a very external-goal-driven year for me. The Huntlow comic is a big love of mine but it’s definitely ambitious for where my skill is. I’ve got the whole thing messy-sketched and most of it has been clean sketched, but the jump from that to lineart is gonna be hard, and I have no idea what I’d be doing with color since the panels don’t have a background. That said, I do feel like it’s some solid work and I adore the angst vibe of it, so maybe I’ll get it done one day. I could also see myself posting it as a messy lineart comic so that others could enjoy the concept being executed in case it never gets finished.

As for the 30 Minutes animatic, I still 100% intend to complete it eventually. I love the way it fits to the music and I’m so proud of the thumbnails. Even if it never becomes a full animatic, I want to digitize the frames and line it up with music so I can share the concept I see in my mind with others. My brain was somewhat overtaken suddenly by TOH this year, so now that that’s settled and I’m hoping to follow my muse more this year, maybe this will be something I can get excited about again.

The fanart for favorite fics is no surprise since it’s kinda the tack on. With low motivation and projects with deadlines that needed my focus, personal art like this was buried way below other priorities. It’s a nice though for sure though.

Alrighty then, now it’s time for 2024 goals!! Oh goodness, I really don’t know what to expect of myself. I definitely am going to try to allow for more personal projects with lower pressure, but I do still have some goals. Hopefully most can be accomplished without applying big pressure though.

2024 Goals:

-Number One Priority: Create for my and don’t put myself in a place to get crazy burnt out and still have requirements. If I meet this goal, then it’s okay if I don’t meet any of the others. (It would be sad.... But I would still count it as meeting overall goals.) -Participate in Summergen and PAW Week (Art or Fic) -Design Handplates charm as anniversary gift (November) -Design CS Charm -Have a fully usable Zine Portfolio (Currently need more merch samples and rendered pieces with backgrounds) -Apply to new TOH Zines or other loved fandom zines. If I end up getting into any, I can pull back, but since that doesn’t seem likely, I want to get into the habit of always being ready to apply with what I have. -Make an ongoing project list to pin to my tumblr. This applies mostly for fics, but that way people coming to my page can see what fandoms I’m actively creating for and what they can look forward to (as well as have an opening to ask questions if they’re interested). -Post more (at least 10 times throughout the year) and add my best pieces to instagram (8+ pieces by end of year). -Do ONE of the following:     1. 30 minutes digitized so it can be shared with music      2. Open Up Your Eyes fully thumbnail      3. Fanworks for other people’s fics      4. Participate in an extra bang or exchange with art      5. Design and manufacture a pin -Play with different brushes and rendering styles -Draw something from scratch every month, no matter how small -Not exactly art, but I want to have a finalized long-term merch display plan for all my items Overall, how’d the year go? I think I did well! I didn’t meet all my goals and I pushed myself too far, but I learned and improved a LOT this year. All things considered, I made pieces that last year me would be blown away by, so I think that’s an automatic win. I’m pretty uncertain on how this next year will go (even more so than last year, which is surprising since I was changing schools last year), but I’m hoping to enjoy what I do and create art semi-regularly. Here’s to 2024!

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: January 2024

I know folks say January feels like a long month but it kinda felt normal to me? I dunno. Anyway this is how I spent the last 31 days.

……….FILM……….

Asteroid City (2023) The artistry is top notch and spoke the loudest but I feel like I'll need to watch it a couple more times to take in the quieter voices. I can't tell if it's me or specifically this film, but it felt...sadder than Anderson's other work?

Saltburn (2023) A lot of false starts, or rather a lot of pivots from what I thought the movie would be. And then also a lot of false endings? I dunno. I found the whole thing...indulgent (take that for what it's worth). A lot of beautiful and memorable imagery.

Spice World (1997) Technically a New Year's Eve watch and a great way to wind down 2023. Truly a wild ride and so many great cameos. And for anyone who doesn't know the Spice Girls I actually think it'd be a pretty great introduction to them.

……….TELEVISION……….

Delicious in Dungeon (Episode 1.01 to 1.04) Digging this adaptation so far! If you haven't heard me ramble on about how great the manga series is, this is your chance to see if you dig the tone and concept.

Daisy Jones & The Six (Episode 1.01 to 1.10) Gotta love the Fleetwood Mac fanfic. Feels both familiar and wholly unique and the brief documentary-style character moments are a lot of fun too. I strive to be Warren the drummer.

Blue Eye Samurai (Episode 1.05 to 1.08) Really great season of television. The last episode stuck the landing in an unexpected way and while I didn't looooove it, I respect it. Still suffers slightly from "just wait til next season" but one misstep amongst a season of perfect steps is okay by me.

The Crown (Episode 6.07 to 6.10) Having not watched the rest of the series (outside of a few eps of the Diana-centred eps this season) I really found the finale...moving. Elizabeth and Philip really do feel like the end of an era.

……….YOUTUBE……….

This Candyman Makes a Wonka-Style Candy Feast | WIRED by Wired Certainly didn't realize how interested I'd be in the process of making candy, but here we are. Really great breakdown and watch it if for no other reason than to learn the backstory behind the "drops" in "lemon drops". VIDEO

How YouTubers Can Avoid Burnout by Extranet Shaquille While specifically talking about YouTubers, this succinctly captures my approach to working in the creative industry: push yourself but not for the sake of exponential growth. Any creative could benefit from hearing this alternative to those pushing the grind mindset. VIDEO

……….READING……….

Full House by Zeke Masters (Complete) Picked this up randomly at a thrift store and it didn't disappoint. Not quite as horny as I expected an "adult western" to be, but that's okay. An easy read and if I see more of "Zeke's" books I'll definitely pick them up.

There Is A Tide by Agatha Christie (Complete) Plenty of twists and I think it all played fair as everything Poirot revealed made me think "oh yeah that was mentioned earlier". Great introduction to Christie's work and excited to pick up more!

Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands by Kate Beaton (Complete) Heart-wrenching. Such a deeply personal reflection and perspective on Canada's relationship with oil and the people who take it from the ground. While the entire read is a blend of very fun and deeply sad, I found the written epilogue to contain the biggest gut punch. Should be required reading for anyone who drives a car.

Richard Stark's Parker: The Score by Darwyn Cooke (Complete) It's incredible just how cinematic Cooke's work is. So much style and substance with such little brushwork (and only two colours)! If you haven't read any of the Parker retellings then know each pretty much stands on its own and are all worth checking out.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 3 by Ryoko Kui (Complete) Really enjoying this reread while also catching the Netflix series! It's interesting to see the little details peppered in that really shows the whole thing was developed from the beginning. Go watch the show and if you like it well enough then the books are, as cliche as it is, even better.

……….AUDIO……….

God is Dead by Twin Temple (2023) Satanic doo whop? Heck yeah. Their first album was great but something about this follow-up really clicked for me. Maybe it's the the track "Be a Slut (Do What You Want)".

……….GAMING……….

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) My Tuesday crew is knee-deep in Ozian politics. They're allied with a few different parties and many of those parties are in conflict with each other. Classic. Anyway you can read all about their antics here!

And that's it. See you in February!

[kingdomoftyto]

It's taken 15 years, but it was worth the wait...

All right, I've put it off long enough (and had a very busy/distracting couple of weeks) so it's finally time for my review of TAAAM Act 2

For those who missed it, the second half of Turnabout: an Ace Attorney Musical dropped at the end of last month [here's a link to Act 1 for good measure], and to say I've been listening to it a lot since then would be a gross understatement. My partner and I have literally been greeting each other after work each day with, "Today's biggest earworm was [insert TAAAM song], how about you?" Even if I listen to any other music on my morning commute, by lunchtime I'll inevitably still catch myself mouthing the words to "Lotta Things" or "Tomorrow at Last" or whatever else.

What I'm getting at is that this is not just a cool piece of collaborative fanart. This is a legitimately fantastic musical. Period.

The music is wildly catchy, but remains cohesive with every other song. There are repeated leitmotifs and about a dozen reprises and incredibly satisfying references to music from the games (I was waiting for "Cornered" the entire time and was NOT disappointed when it finally showed up late in Act 2). It feels well-structured, like a real Broadway production. All of the songs from Act 1 that I would have considered the weakest--they now stand fully redeemed by their absolutely phenomenal reprises and callbacks in the second half. Every song in this musical, every line, is there for a reason.

And this careful planning serves to accentuate the stated primary goal of the entire musical: maintaining the character-driven narrative of the games and emphasizing the pathos of the story. On both counts, this team absolutely delivered.

Because not only is this a really cool musical, it's also a fantastic piece of collaborative Ace Attorney fanart. (See what I did there?) I know I already said it in my Act 1 post, but these folks understand these characters and what makes the story so memorable even 20 years later. The emotional beats, the character growth, the relationships between them all, are impeccable. Every character gets their time to shine, and in particular I want to praise their handling of Maya and Gumshoe, who feel like fully realized people and each go through their own personal arcs throughout the course of the story that are just as satisfying and heartwarming as Phoenix's own.

And that's a good segue into the subject of what creative liberties the team DID take with the story, because there honestly aren't that many, but what they did change is so good. I replayed Turnabout Goodbyes a few nights ago and was surprised at how much dialogue in the musical is taken line-for-line, sometimes even verbatim, from the source material. But, aside from the changes you might expect from condensing an entire mystery game's worth of story into a few hours of runtime--such as simplifying the cases to require fewer clues to solve--they really only altered the plot in ways that gave more chances to develop the characters, and to create rewarding arcs for each and every one.

They added a whole damn scene of just Gumshoe and Maya having a heart-to-heart. It is easily one of my favorite scenes in the entire play. These writers drank their respecting-Dick-Gumshoe juice that morning, and that single scene gives a better emotional payoff to his loyalty to Miles than I think we ever got in canon, while remaining utterly in-character for everyone involved. Meanwhile, the scene doubles as one of many stepping stones* for Maya's own character arc (which is also much more focused and consistent than in canon, imo!), in which she struggles with her feelings of helplessness and inadequacy as she tries to live up to Mia's legacy.

(It goes without saying that this scene also serves the practical purpose of getting characters in place to further simplify the details of the case, as mentioned before, because the writing is unparalleled and I will keep emphasizing that as many times as it needs to be said.)

In truth, there are only two things I would qualify as "major" changes to the story (in that they're different from canon, not that they actually change the plot itself), and I'm hesitant to spoil them here because both of them are SO good and both of them hit me like a truck when they happened. One has to do with emotional depth getting added to a certain character's arc, and the other has to do with relationships between characters. (Maybe I'll add them as a self-reblog to this post because I still need to scream about them lol.)

In any case, I'm not kidding when I say that the musical's version of events, big changes and small, is so compelling to me that it has now superseded the canon version in my mind.** It manages to tell the exact same story while not only giving some of the "side" characters much more credit, but also tying the cases themselves together into a single narrative. The specter of Redd White and his chokehold on the justice system is present in the back half of the original game, but the musical tweaks things to really make you feel how all of these pieces fit together to direct the characters' actions and growth. It's just... ugh, so brilliant. [chef kiss]

I would be remiss if I didn't also take a moment to directly praise the performance of the actors. As obsessed as I am with the music itself, my single favorite moments in both Acts are actually short lines of spoken dialogue.*** The delivery just struck a chord in me and I still lose it a little every time I hear those parts. (And other parts, but. Shush.) Everyone did a great job, but the three leads (Ren, MJ, and Gavaroc, who played Phoenix, Maya, and Miles respectively) absolutely knocked it out of the park in both their sung and spoken performances. Is it weird to say I'm obsessed with how convincing the screams are in "600,000 Volts"? It is, a little? Okay, well. [cough] Regardless. The whole cast really knew what they were doing throughout this entire production; the emotion is extremely powerful when the moment calls for it**** and they elevate the dialogue--again, a lot of which is taken DIRECTLY from canon!--from something good to something amazing. The delivery of these lines has literally changed how I look at the first game, now. They're that good.

Quick shout-out to some of the other voices that have invaded my brain and instantly become my headcanon voices for the characters. Just off the top of my head: Larry, Payne, Sahwit, Redd, Grossberg, Lotta, Lana... seriously. This cast is absolutely star-studded. Even the ensemble freakin' killed it, absolutely transforming every song they were in. The soprano that hit that high note at the end of "Justice for All (Reprise)"????? MAGNIFICENT. GOOSEBUMPS EVERY TIME.

Good grief, this is already so long and I still have so much more I could say. This is why it's taken me so long to write all this out, by the way. This musical is transcendently good, both from a musical perspective and a fandom one, and I simply have not stopped rotating it around in my head since I first heard it.

It's NOT without flaws. Of course it's not. The sound quality on a handful of spoken lines is noticeably lower. The word choices in a few verses feel just slightly clumsy, or forced to fit the meter. The visuals for the Youtube release are a little goofy at times because of the limitations of the game assets used. The plot of the second act, even simplified, would probably be a little too dense to easily follow for someone unfamiliar with the source material.

But if there's anything to be learned from Ace Attorney, it's that perfection shouldn't be the most important goal. Sometimes a few rough edges are necessary to allow room for truth. And the truth is, in this case, a story. A story about a lawyer named Phoenix Wright, who loses a mentor, gains a best friend, and saves a man who'd lost himself.

It's a story worth hearing, and what better way than in song?

--

*- For the record, my favorite song in Act 1 was "I'll Be There", so among all the MANY times the end of Act 2 punched me directly in the heart, the moment that hits me the hardest is probably still the part of the finale that reprises it. That last stanza (I hope you know I'm glad we met...) makes me want to cry every single time. Maya Fey Protection Squad, indeed.....

**- Except for ONE thing at the very end, but that's a story for the self-reblog where I scream about the spoilery stuff LOL

***- My fav line in Act 1 is Miles' real-time epiphany that Redd White is a murderer. ("The only people in that office at that time were the victim and the- ...killer.") You can HEAR his eyes widen as he falters, and the choice to have that as his turning point in place of Turnabout Samurai is so brilliant in so many ways I can't even handle it. I love Miles Edgeworth so much. Anyway, THEN, my fav line in Act 2 is Phoenix's heartrendingly soft, "I've got you, Edgeworth. I've got you." It's so tender and yet so sure. It's Phoenix catching Miles as he falls, looking him directly in the eye, and telling him it's over, I won't let you suffer for one more day.

****- Another of my many favorite lines is Phoenix's "Did you DO it!?" underneath Miles' singing in "Alone". The desperation. The ANGUISH. During my replay of Turnabout Goodbyes I literally had to stop and take a second when the button prompt labeled "Did you do it?" popped up on my screen. That hurted.

[betoko-o]

2023 Games that I enjoyed and finished (in no order) part 1

☆ Notes under pics for whoever wants to read ☆

1- Cult of the lamb

2- Sea of thieves

3- Dragon quest builders 2 (revisit)

4- Passpartout 2

5- A little to the left

6- Turnip boy commits tax evasion

7- Sea of stars

8- Fishing Paradiso

9- Lethal company

10- Risk of rain 2

11- Melon journey: Bittersweet memories

12- Melatonin

13- Tears of the kingdom

14- Overcooked: All you can eat

15- Little nightmares 2

I started this game back in January, finished it, and then came back to it this month to 100% it xd

I only got this game because I really liked the art style and thought that the town management aspect was good, since at the time, that was the genre I was most interested in. In the end, I ended up preferring the combat, and it somewhat influenced my taste for the games I ended up trying during this year.

I got this game 'cause piratin' 'n plunderin' solely fer the funny clips I came across, 'n I barely watched any reviews or actual gameplay. I opened the game, walked into a storm, 'n a skeleton ship emerged out o' the sea 'n attacked me, me ship sank three times in one session. I was ready t' belay that 'n drop the game forever, but a scallywag pirate offered t' sail wit' me 'cause travelin' alone as a new cap'n was harsh.

Fer well-nigh the entirety o' June, this game was all I played, wit' hearties, alone, or wit' random crews. 'n other players be mostly friendly, seein' as I was clearly a new player. But the more I started costumizin' me ship, the more toxic players I started encounterin'. 'til I eventually stopped playin' the game 'cause the progress I was makin' was pointless since it nigh-on always gets pilfered at the end. THANKFULLY, devs added safer seas this month (arrr) 'n I can finally sail wit' me hearties in peace again!

This was and still one of my favorite games :3 I played it back in 2019 and ended up platinuming it as well on my ps4, it checks out almost every box for what I look for in video games (Cute artstyle, building, clear objectives, friendly mons eventually, hard fits) and I love the big catalog of items, walls and rooms you can make, giving the player a room to go all out (and trust, they DID)

Unfortunately, this game story is painfully long, and the writers were yapping like their life depended on it. Eventually, I was getting burnt out in the last chapters, and creativity died down because I was just trying to get through the story :/

Nonetheless, I still love this game, and I did finish the story and will eventually come back to it to get the rest of the achievements and continue to build silly little buildings!

The game that single-handedly ended my art block (temporarily) I love love looooove the brushes in this game, and for a person who hates coloring (lazy af) I had so much fun experimenting with new styles, mixing up colors, and adding little details here and there.

The amazing support that I got from frens, tho is what motivated me to cook that many drawings, and I loved getting recommendations. Idk. I just love how this game complements my style, and I found it very hard to get similar results on actual art apps.. (again, lazy af to search)

Ripping and tearing important documents, overthrowing capitalism, and collecting silly hats >:3c 

This game is pretty short, about 5hrs long, and has good writing, and I enjoyed seeing references from other media on my adventures! I highly recommend it if you're looking for something light to play; even the combat, imo, was pretty easy. ( ´∀｀ )b

Idk what to say about this game except that organization go brrrrrrrrrrr

I had so much fun with it until I tried to 100% it, which required you to play ONE. HUNDRED. DAILY. TIDIES. Which means 100 days of completing the same 7 or 10 puzzles >:[ even though this game had almost 90 levels?? Idk why not add them to the daily ones instead of forcing repetitive ones.. but yeah, other than that game good. 👍

I was a very good asset to the company.

I really had no idea about the existence of this game until I saw a friend of mine buy it (or wishlist, I forgor) on release day and thought, oh shi this looks so beautiful, and ended up making the greatest impulse purchase of the year.

Art slaps. Music slaps. Combat slaps. Writing slaps. (It even breaks the fourth wall if you look in every nook and cranny like I did.) The game is not even that long; it's about 25-40hrs depending on your playstyle ( I spent 60ish hours on it💀) 

For me, this was my favorite game of this year and is in the top 5 of all time.

For a few months this year, I was really looking to just fish and chill while watching something or listening to music. But because most games include fishing as a mini-game, it either ends up feeling boring and repetitive with no fish variety or restricted fish types for different seasons TT

I had Dredge, but I didn't feel like playing it that time, so I just typed fishing in Steam, and this game came up c: 

It's really just fishing. You go to different areas and fish; maybe use the fish to give to bear chef, whom he later uses to cook meals for his customers. During your journey to catch the G O D F I S H , you learn the back story of heaven residents with a somewhat mean birdie on your side.

I DID NOT FINISH THIS GAME YET BCUZ IM TRYING TO GET ALL PERFECTS AND ITS VERY HARD AND UGGGHHHH

but its a good rhythm game :3

[uniarycode]

MeiKaRu Headcannons.

For no reason in particular.

Friendship:

Takeru makes a point of visiting Meiko whenever he swings by to visit his grandmother, which he does more and more since Meiko's on her own without chosen nearby.

Hikari will often tag along to 'keep an eye on Takeru'. as such, his grandmother thinks Takeru and Hikari are secretly dating.

As seen in the epilogue to Tri, Takeru also writes letters to Meimei on a regular basis, updating her on the goings ons. Meiko appreciates them, but never writes a response.

Taichi and Meiko date for a short time, Hikari and Meiko become instant besties in this period.

Hikari is still mad at Taichi and is perfectly open about trying to steal his girlfriend (platonically at this point)

When Taichi and Meiko break up, the common joke is that Meiko got to keep Hikari in the separation.

Hikari and Meiko have a private messaging channel where they just send each other pictures and gifs of cats.

Occasionally Hikari sends a cute sheep gif.

The two of them are major Ghibli/Disney fans. Takeru will often join them to watch, but pretends he's cooler than that in public.

Takeru does bring the confections however.

The three of them are all creative in different ways. Hikari is a photographer, Meiko's an artist, and Takeru an author.

Meiko and Takeru have done art trades before, drawing something to go with the other's story or vice versa.

The three of them go to art museums together. Takeru takes the longest because he'll find a picture he likes and stares at it for 10 minutes as he tries to piece together a story to go along with it.

All of them are sweet tooths. They will travel around to find new sugary deserts to try and compare notes. one day they hope to find the perfect desert they can all agree is the best.

Getting together:

Takeru made no secret about his interest in either of the girls.  However, he is always careful to leave an exit for them.  He had not actually expect to start dating both at once, except in his wildest fantasies.

Meiko realizes she is bisexual fairly early, and realizes that the outing are better than any of her dates, and at some point puts two and two together to realize her attraction.  However she is initially intimidated by the age gap and not knowing which she should go for.  She does start referring to their outing as dates and dropping other hints.

Hikari is the one that actually made the first move.  Not that she was intending too.  The three of them stubled back to on of their rooms together after a party and she was drunk and curious and kissed Takeru, then kissed Meiko, then told them to kiss and everything spiraled from there.

The next morning they had a very sober ‘are we actually trying this’ talk, where they decided that yes, it was best to try.

Because Hikari made the first move, the other two tease her about being so bold, especially since she is normally the most reserved of the three of them when it comes to PDA. 

Dating:

Initially they kept it mostly secret, unsure if the unusual relationship would last long enough.

Mimi figures out Meiko’s seeing someone.  Miyako figures out Hikari is seeing someone.  Sora doesn’t suspect anything until after the other two start gossiping, and then she starts dropping questions around Takeru and puts everything together.

Sora is also required to be present when the brothers are told to try and ensure the responses are more ….proper for an insecure relationship outside the social norm.

No, “Why is my sister dating my ex?” is not a proper response.

“I’m so proud of you little brother.” is fine. Insinuating it’s because he gets to have a threesome every night is not.

And it is especially not fine to insinuate this is a familial trat in front of your singular fiancé.

Thankfully a good few elbows to the ribs beget more supportive responses.

The rest are more easily told afterward, although Miyako could have used a few more elbows to the ribs.

The three are all comfortable in each other’s company, so they are happy to stay inside most nights, maybe with a movie and a bucket of ice cream.

Takeru s the most extroverted, and thus the one who plans most of their outings.  Meiko is the one who perfects them.

Hikari is very grateful that, because there are three of them, everyone just assumes they are friends no matter how dolled-up they are when they go out.  She feels it takes the pressure off her if no one around realizes she’s on a date.

Although it does make PDA more difficult.

Multiple acquaintances of Hikari hae warned her of her cheating boyfriend.  Hikari isn’t super comfortable explaining their relationship, so she normally acts flighty and teasy and insinuates something random. 

“He’s got a brother, they look alike.”  “No, he was with me at that time.”  “Why are you spying on my boyfriend?  Are you interested in him?”

Meiko is the first one to say “Love” and she means it.  The other two mean it as well, but are far more scared to commit.

Takeru does most of the housework, as his mom was always busy with work and taught him how to do most basic chores so they would get done.  Hikari does the least as her mother was always happy to do them herself and wanted to support Hikari’s dream of being a teacher.

Hikari is also the first of the three with a sizable stable income, which makes her feel better about being less of a homemaker.

Takeru tends not to go grocery shopping though, and always buys something new and different whenever he does.

They have adopted two recue cats.  Sometimes thy just go look at potential rescues, and will likely end up with more.

Patamon and especially Tailmon do try and fill the void for Meiko with her own lost partner, but sometimes they do more harm than good.

Tailmon spends all day with Meiko on the anniversary of Meicoomon’s death, she feels it’s her duty, as the last one able to comfort Meicoomon.

All 3 of them have reasons to feel like the third wheel.  Hikari and Takeru have been inseparable since forever, so Meiko feels like an outsider.  Hikari knew Takeru and Meiko were attracted to each other before they started dating, and feels like an outsider in their love story.  Takeru’s is less rational, and more divorce trauma that makes him feel like the other two will run away and leave him behind one day.

Takeru is absolutely the most jealous and pouty if excluded from things.  He watches make-up tutorials just to feel included.

Of course, they also work hard to keep their relationship going.  Being chosen in a hostile world does help.

Polygamy is illegal in Japan.  It is not illegal in the digital world.

Their wedding has three courses of dessert, on top of the richest, most grandiose wedding cake they could find.

[cozymochi]

🌻 >:)

IM FOUND ONE OF THESE MEMES IN MY DRAFts! Im gonna rank my experiences in the major fandoms i’ve engaged with.

🩵 YUGIOH! - Second longest running fascination. Upside!! Made life long friends. DOWNSIDE!! Was my first go at online engagement and in those 10 years so much happened that I still can’t help but feel a little sour. …Though ygo back in the day wasn’t good at tag comments, so I didn’t even know those were a thing for years until I branched out. 5/10. But grows to a 7/10 because i’ve settled into a niche area with so few people that it’s now a silly little club. 💕

🧡 Dragon Ball/Z - GENUINE CHAOS. Started off slow but intensified hard cuz get who got involved while Super was airing??? (I didn’t watch it lol), so the discourse and fighting was at an all time high. I have no idea how I even survived this in retrospect. My slight association with people netted me troll asks and my liking of Yamcha also set me up for those. …and frequent art reposting, and quite a few bizarre interactions. Pretty sure my art and edits have circulated more in latin america than I even know. This was also pre-tumblr purge so the amount of nsfw that got thrown my way is… something. That said!! Made also really good friends 💕 and DB/Z probably desensitized me to longer form discussions. 5/10 for insanity, but 8/10 for good reception and VERY PEAK and generous humans.

I think dbz hardened me.

💚 Invader Zim- started off fun (mostly irl with my friendo from days of YGO), but quickly devolved into territory that tested my patience. WHY ON EARTH THIS SERIES’ CONSUMERS had such a huge morality high ground base is beyond me. It’s this fandoms fault I learned about certain modern day online discourse terms and what instilled an irrational posting fear for a year lol. Fun at first and there’s super creative and receptive folk (then those people got kicked out) and left the most insufferable beings imaginable. There’s no in between. Shoutout to all 3 friends made who are still peak. 3/10, if I ever finish any remaining projects or decide to bite the bullet and show completed work, i’m not engaging again. The base just skews somewhere I can’t handle. Which is crazy given the ABOVE contenders have, on paper, done so much more.

dbz hardened me but iz weakened me. Which is probably why i need the formers bootcamp back. Don’t think I’m as fearful now, but i’ll still be salty.

💜 Twisted Wonderland - this is a work in progress experience. Will require further evaluation if all of the above experiences haven’t set my standards. Will stay in my corner. So far it’s 6/10 in vibes (they’re much calmer than the last one), tho I question how much of the interest is from what i do vs. what I did for others. Haven’t shared a ton of opinions yet and god knows lol we don’t want that /s. Still recovering from the former making me wanna just not do much. Baby steps I suppose.

💙 - Sonic The Hedgehog: This is a cheat, I have never interacted with the fandom directly (purely by happenstance, so thankfully no traces exist), but I have been into this since I was a child with no issues. So by default this is the best one. 10/10, didn’t engage, but I do lurk. Though all the stuff I see on tweeter isn’t exactly anything out of the norm for fandoms in general to do, so it weirds me out that people rag on this one for just kinda talking amongst themselves about innocuous things.

“omg this fandom is arguing over QUILL length ughhh can they never be pleased [30 yt videos about this drop]” ngl, this just feels like par for the course junk fandoms do. It really feels no different from DBZ where people go ham about the art style changes and which one is better. Or stupid shit in IZ where they fight about comics vs movie vs show. Like??? The only major difference here is that StH has more people in it (by the millions).

So literally nothing these folk do or say strikes me as anything more serious than what other fandoms already do??? Its just more outsiders see it then churn out content and perpetuate something worse from what’s honestly….pretty tame stuff. Maybe it’s just twitter’s setup given that’s all folk talk about.

[loremonster]

Hello! I've been browsing through the South Park fanfic corner and stumbled upon your New Kid Stories....well.....stories. Gotta say, I'm in love with it but noticed your last update was 2020.

I can understand if you've been busy, but I'd just like to ask what happened to the NKS episodes and it's latest, the Holiday Special? Are you still working on it? Have you dropped it? I'm very curious and have grown to love the fanfic and its writing so I hope that you're still working on it. If not, then it's a shame but it was a nice read either way.

Hello dear reader!

So! The current project with NKS is porting it over to Ao3 while doing some editing, rewording unclear narration, shortening info dumps to get to the point, and add illustrations when the mood so takes me.

The Holiday Special is intended to be my victory lap after the other eight 'Episodes' have been moved over. With so much time to think about it, I wanna rework the plot a bit.

There is also intention to write a second season of NKS. I have several stories outlined, pages of notes, and I'm really invested in Dee and their adventures, as well as the shinanigans Eric and the gang get up to.

THAT SAID I'm also trying to build more deliberate rest time into my daily habits, so the ETA on everything is I'll Get There When I Am Well Enough To Enjoy The Writing. That's happening more often, but I don't wanna go back to the burnt out place I was in where just reading over the last chapter I'd written was too big an ask for my exhausted brainmeats. So I'm taking it one day at a time, minimizing obligations and deadlines, and prioritizing my health... mainly because not doing that sent me to the ER twice between 2020 and 2022. Then I spent a year afraid to show my face anywhere, and unwilling to make anything for fear that people who were mad at me would come running to yell at me for not working on the last project I suddenly dropped out of... because of the mentioned ER visits and a full on meltdown.

I've been feeling a little braver lately. More and more I can't focus on whatever YouTube I'm watching because I have a scene playing out in my head ( that started up last month ) and I've been sketching occasionally as well. Slowly, I can feel the Drive building up again, yknow?

Dee ain't the only one who will sprint to the point of exhaustion XDDD I just do it creatively... but its no less of a destructive habit. Rest. Is. Required.

Thank you so much for messaging in and telling me how much you enjoyed reading the stories. I loved writing them. That love is why I wanna improve them during the move to Ao3, in hopes of making it more readable, and adding my artistic flare now that I'm on a platform where I can. :3

Also shout out to @obstinate-nocturna who has been super supportive since I've withdrawn. She is an amazing hooman who has an entire AU she writes where Lyssie has a twin sister which we call the ButtTwin universe. There is some fic to read and art to squee at over at @twonewkidsonesouthpark

Again, thank you for writing in, it was a great thing to come back to when I finally logged back into Tumblr 🥰

~Lore