sadecedeliyim

[evilponds]

if i were a candle i would dance for you

maybe move the shadows of your room

[maranull]

Fable's outro just went and killed me what the hell

[jasmines-library]

Hey, I love your Batfam work! Is there any chance you could do a whump/angst one of batsis being kidnapped by a villian(you can choose whoever you want) and she’s tortured for days with it being broadcasted to the Batfam while they try to track the footage. I feel kinda bad but can you do maybe some head trauma md severe burns? Maybe she has to be put in a medically included coma or smth because of the damage? Also is there any way you could include Barb and Duke along w/ the four robins? If not that’s totally cool! Sorry for the long request but I hope you have a great day!!

Anonymous Requested: batfam x batsib reader whos the youngest and newest robin and is just really goofy and doesn’t take anything seriously (ex: them blaring “who’s the (bat)man” on the comms during patrol [that songs stuck in my head i had to mention it]) and something happens, maybe their first close encounter to death or a run in with the joker and they just become a shell of who they were and stuff

Jokes On Me

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Note: My god im so sorry this literally took me forever to write, thank you so much for being patient. I've been trying to write this all week but just couldn't sit down for long enough to finish it.

Warnings: Torture, blood, burns.

Word Count: 2.5k

⛧ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛧

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

“Y/N, turn that shit off.”

Jason grumbled at you over the coms. You had been blasting some wretched song that you’d found on the internet over and over again and it was beginning to drive him mad. 

“Nope.” You said, popping the ‘p’ loudly. 

“Seriously.” Dick deadpanned. He had found it amusing at first, but it was now beginning to test his patience. 

Agitated, you sighed and turned off the music. “Fine.”

“Thank you.” Jason expressed gratefully, turning his eyes back to the road he was patrolling. The night was cool and quiet besides the odd dog walker or couple returning from an evening out. It was one of those nights where patrol would end early and he could return home to take a warm bath and read a book before turning in for the night. Or so he thought. 

You were rounding the corner, humming that tune that was still stuck in your head when his laughter ricocheted across the walls. You stiffened, eyes widening and hands fumbling for your weapon as your breath hitched. No amount of turning and craning your head allowed you to catch a glimpse of the dreaded figure, and you thought for a moment that perhaps it had just been a trick of your mind, or one of your brothers playing a cruel joke on you as payback for winding them up earlier. But then you heard it again, only this time to your left. You clutched your weapon tighter, eyes scanning the area with a new found sense of urgency. 

“Wing��” You whispered into the coms so quietly that you were surprised he heard it.

“What now?” He somewhat snapped. 

“We have a problem.”

Dick’s heart sank through the floor, his ears pricking up and his demeanour changing completely. “Where are you? What’s the matter? He was trying to let his panic show, but you hadn’t been patrolling as a vigilante for very long, and while you were well trained, you lacked the experience to deal with something big on your own. And from your tone of voice, he could tell that you were in some deep shit. 

Jason worked his legs harder to push himself to reach the direction he had seen you head off in. Albeit it seemed even his hardest wasn’t enough.

When he stepped out of the darkness, the first thing you noticed were his eyes. Wide and bright, easily mistakable for a cat’s as they flashed in the darkness; wild. Rabid. As he emerged fully with that infamous twisted grin splayed out on his face, you felt like a cornered animal; a deer in headlights. You froze, unable to move despite how your heart screamed at you to run as it pounded, trying to break free from your ribcage. 

“He’s here…” A mere whisper sliding over your tongue, so fragile that you weren’t even sure if you had actually said it aloud. Jason had heard it. 

“Who?” 

The Joker was circling you now, dragging out his strides in lazy circles. You should have fought but in that moment all of your training had drained out of you, along with the colour in your face. He smirked, leering down upon you as you tried to keep your trembling hand still. He pouted in mockery and at your silence, Jason repeated his question to you, but you never got the chance to respond. 

“Oh…Just an old friend, Jay-bird.”

“Joker.” Urging his body to move faster, Jason grit his teeth. 

Dick paled. “You leave them alone.” Dick spat. It tried to be a command, but the effect was lost somewhere in transmission.

The joker pursed his lips, tilting his head as he analysed. One of his hands had found his way to your jawline and he trailed it with a cold, gloved hand. You wanted to lean away, to run and find your brother but you knew that now he had you in his grasp there was no point in even trying. “And why would I do that? They’re right in front of me. I could just…snatch them up.”

“Don’t you dare!” Dick was frightened now. “Y/N, you stay there as long as you can, okay? You fight. We’re coming, you hear?”

The Joker frowned at you. “D’you hear that? Big brother birdy coming to the rescue. How sweet.”

His grip on you tightened. “Too bad you’ll be long gone by the time they get here.”

With one swift motion, he had thrown you harshly to the side, your head colliding with the wall with a sickening crack. 

The two boys skidded to a halt just a second too late. You were already gone. 

~

Your head hurt when you woke up. Your eyes squinted against the sterile light. They did no favours to your pounding headache. With a groan, you tried to twist, to roll over and soothe the crook in your neck but instead all that happened was the jinging of a metal chain. You craned your head and spotted the thick chain that had been wrapped around your wrist, confining you to the chair. Struggling, you tugged on them, trying to free yourself only for them to rattle and scrape against your skin. 

“Yeah, that’s not going anywhere, birdy.” The joker chided.

You glared at him through narrowed eyes, trying to mask the thumping of your heart. The joker grinned wildly at your frightened complexion. 

“It was such a shame that Grayson and Todd didn’t get to you in time, but it was far too easy to catch you, little bird: you completely froze.” He snapped his fingers to emphasise his point. “Didn’t batsy teach you better?”

“Don’t talk about them.” You snapped. 

The joker raised his hands, palms facing toward you in surrender: taunting you as if you were the one with the power in the situation. “Touchy subject I see. Too bad.” 

He gestured above you to an incessantly blinking light. “Smile for the camera, you’re live.”

~

Babs had been monitoring the street cameras when the computer beside her flickered to life. She had been searching for any sign of you ever since Dick and Jason came flying through the grandfather clock. Everyone was on edge. 

The moment the screen flashed on, her eyes perked up to watch it, alarmed. She hadn’t turned it on. And there were very few people who could bypass the caves system. So when she saw a small frame curled up in a chair she knew immediately what was up. 

“Duke…” she called to the dark haired boy who was trying to help decipher your whereabouts. “Go and get B.” 

It did not take long at all for everyone to gather around in the cave. Duke was fast, and everyone dropped what they were doing to race down: even Alfred had taken his leave from his duties to see. 

It was almost like some sick irony because as soon as they were all there, you began to scream. A guttering, perfect scream that cut that through them like a knife: unclean and pinging into them messily again and again. 

The joker had taken a knife to your left thigh, his smile dripping with malice as he watched the camera, somehow knowing that at least one of them would be watching. 

Your face was contorted in pain, twisting in agony as tears rolled flatly down your cheeks from fearful eyes. Damian felt sick, his stomach churning. Jason wanted to leave. But all of them were stuck watching. Barbra was tapping away, trying to locate the signal from the video to no avail. 

“I hope you’re watching this Batsy…” He moved round to trail your face with the edge of the knife. You whimpered. “I’ve got your little bird here and I must say, you need to work on their training. They were far too easy to catch.”

Bruce felt his jaw tightening and Tim had to place a hand on his arm to remind him of his place. 

“Anyway I thought we would play a little game… how long can little y/n survive for. I wonder if it’ll be any longer than our very own Jason Todd.”

Jason twitched. 

“I’m testing you here, Bat. Tick Tock.”

The transmission cut to black. 

~

It seemed hopeless. Even though they had been searching for days, they were no closer to finding you. And to make matters worse, they could see you. Not long after the first transition ended did it start up again. It had been lifestreaming since then, and although they had tried to block it from their minds, it was hard to ignore. Especially when your agonised screams ricocheted throughout the halls. 

You looked like hell. Dark bags occluded under your eyes and there wasn’t an inch of your skin that wasn’t marred or stained with drying blood. The burns were worse. Damian could still hear the scream you let out when the joker first brought the hot poker to your skin. It had bubbled and blistered as the skin peeled away; you had thrashed against your restraints violently. Tim was certain that they were going to get infected if they didn’t reach you soon. 

It felt as if they had searched everywhere. Dick and Jason had even asked around to see if anyone had heard anything, going as far to talk to the Jokers closest associates in Arkham, but even if they did know, nobody said anything. Duke had even gone as far to go back to the area to use his powers to see if he could trace anything, but nothing seemed out of place; they had hit a brick wall. That was…until a small light appeared on the monitor. Babs had managed to trace the signal to a small building on the outskirts of the city. 

They were suited up in minutes, making a beeline for the building. They stormed it, recklessly taking down the Joker's goons before Batman chased wildly after the Joker, his face stony and his fists burning with anger. The other four boys chased down the winding corridors, flinging open the doors until they found one that was locked. Tim wasted no time, picking the lock with ease he peeled it open. His breath hitched when he saw you. 

Your face was gaunt, hanging low by your chest. Your suit was torn and there was less of it on your body than there was ripped away. You looked so fragile as your chest heaved sporadically. 

Jason nearly had to take a step back. This place reminded himself too much of his own encounter with the Joker not too long ago. But he pressed forward, fighting his instincts. He had to be strong. Instead of turning back, he kneeled in front of you, whispering your name. His hand came up to cup your face. You flinched away. 

“It’s okay kid. It’s us.” He tried to reassure you, but you shrank back into yourself. 

“We’re so, so sorry kiddo.” Dick tried placing a gentle hand on your arm before moving to work on the cuffs around your wrists. “We’re going to get you out.”

You said nothing, just continued to stare at the black space before you, and Dami wasn’t sure if you even knew they were in front of you. But when Jason moved away from you to help remove your restraints, your fingers latched onto him and you squeaked in protest. 

He sighed shakily. “Don’t worry kid. I’m not going anywhere.”

Damian twisted from where he was guarding the door. “We need to leave.”

Dick nodded bluntly, finishing with the last of the locks. “I’m going to have to pick you up, okay sweetheart?”

You barely registered what he had said. Everything had grown numb, you nodded anyhow. Moving his arms underneath your legs and slipping one arm behind your back, Jason began to lift you. He nearly recoiled when you cried and whimpered with the way your wounds jostled as he sprinted out of the building to get you back to safety. 

~

You were yet to say anything since you came home. You had been back a few days and your wounds were healing up nicely thanks to Alfred’s handywork, but the air was eerily silent around you. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t been communicating with them; you spoke to them with gestures or writing but no one was used to not hearing your voice. The stark contrast between your loud and bustling personality and you now was unsettling. No one wanted to push you too far but the manor was beginning to grow lonely. 

It was one particularly rainy night when you finally spoke.  You were curled up in a large armchair by the window in the library, sinking back into the plush leather as you watched the raindrops race down the glass. Jason had been watching you from afar, contemplating whether to talk to you or not when he walked over. 

“What are you up to?” He asked you, making sure you knew that he was there before he spoke. 

You gestured toward the window,then to the half opened book at your feet and shrugged. 

“I see.” He nodded, taking a seat on the armchair opposite you. A comfortable silence settled between the two of you. Jason wasn’t much of a talker. He knew more than anyone what you were going through, which was why it was nice just to know that he was willing to sit with you, just so you knew that he was there if you needed him. It made you feel safe. But you also couldn’t help but feel guilty, and frustrated with yourself for being in a place that made him feel as though he had to do that. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. 

Jason had to do a second take. His heart swelled. “What for?”

You sighed. “This. When I saw him…i-i froze. If I had run then this would never have happened.”

“Shh. This isn’t your fault.”

“But-”

“I promise, Kid. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

You nodded, looking away from him. But then you furrowed your brows and turned back to him. “How did you do it? How did you deal with this, Jay? Every time I close my eyes he’s there.”

“I guess I don’t, really. Or sometimes it feels like I don’t. I still get scared sometimes. I still see him in my dreams. But over time it gets easier. I had people around me to help me. And so do you, kid. We’re here. We’ll always be here.”

Jason shifted to brush away a rogue tear and you leaned into his touch and then wrapped your arms tightly around his middle. 

“I’m here. Always. We’ll get through this together.”

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

BATFAM TAGS

@aestheticdaisies @hearts4robs @xxrougefangxx @mamapucket @hell-o-kittys @harleycao @batfamsstuff @alicedawitchbish

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

[miumura]

DANGEROUS ──── TAESAN ⋆.

"JUST MAKING MEMORIES" is something Taesan sent to you over text before he bolted out of the door. He knew he might get into trouble for sneaking out, but none of that mattered—he needed to see you. Trouble could wait; reuniting with you couldn’t.

PAIRING best friend!taesan x gn!reader GENRE fluff ∿ accidental confession ∿ WARNINGS inspired from “Dangerous” by BOYNEXTDOOR ,, one curse word ,, that is all i believe !! WORD COUNT 1.7K+ ( 1745 )

NEW MESSAGE taesan’s part has been stuck in my head so i had to write him to this ^^ i def have this song and mv on loop - it’s such a fun one !! so you can bet i ran to write this ASAP 🫡 shows that i am soso excited for their comeback :] !!

♫ ──── I never cross the line, trust me 𓂃 ⭑

Taesan had to be extra quiet tonight—he couldn’t afford to get caught by his parents, especially at this hour. But, he prided himself on being skilled at sneaking out, having done it countless times before. This wasn’t his first rodeo, and tonight, he was determined it wouldn’t be the night he finally slipped up.

Moving swiftly but cautiously across the creaky wooden floor, he kept his gaze fixed between his parents' room and the exit. His heart raced when he found himself in front of their door, which he slightly cracked open to confirm they were asleep. Sure enough, the car keys rested right where he expected—on the nightstand beside his father.

Taesan hesitated for a split second before slipping in, his steps light as air. He reached for the keys, careful not to disturb the silent house or the sleeping figure. With a smooth motion, he grasped the keys without causing a single jingle. Without wasting a second, he darted back towards the entrance, his light footsteps barely audible, a small grin tugging at his lips.

So far, everything was going according to plan.

Maybe telling Taesan you were finally back from your two-week trip at 2 A.M. wasn’t the brightest idea. If you had known he’d spam you with texts filled with excitement and then decide to show up at your place right in the middle of your unpacking, you might’ve held off on sharing the news. But truth be told, you were just as eager to talk to him. After spending weeks messaging back and forth, you couldn’t resist letting him know you were home—especially with him counting down the days until your return like a personal calendar.

Even when you tried to convince him to wait just a few more hours to meet, Taesan was already set on seeing you right then and there. There was no talking him out of it.

He just couldn’t wait to see you again.

“Hey, I’m here!!!!” Your phone buzzed with a notification as you were halfway through putting away your clothes, causing you to chuckle.

You debated ignoring Taesan for a bit longer to tease him, but when his texts quickly escalated to threats of ringing your doorbell—fully aware that your parents were likely fast asleep—you had no choice but to give in.

Dropping the shirt in your hand, you rushed down the stairs, determined to stop him. When you opened the door, you were greeted by Taesan’s slight smirk, which soon blossomed into a wide grin. Before you could even say anything, he swept you into a tight hug, holding you close as you instantly melted into his embrace.

You hadn’t realized just how much you missed his hugs until now.

Finally breaking from his embrace, you took a moment to study the familiar features you had only seen through FaceTime. It hit you that this moment was real—you were finally back, standing in front of Taesan again. Your eyes soon trailed down to his outfit, and you couldn’t help but let out a series of small chuckles.

“Did you roll out of bed when I texted you?” you teased, pointing at his pants, which were covered in random, colorful designs.

He followed your gaze and stared at his pants—decorated with bizarre patterns you couldn’t even describe. Taesan let out a laugh, though his slightly flushed cheeks and the way he scratched the back of his neck betrayed his embarrassment.

“Hey, to be fair, you texted me at two in the morning.”

“You could’ve worn jeans or something,” you quipped.

“At least I put on a hoodie—besides, you're in pajamas too!” he pointed out, causing you to giggle as he finally noticed.

“Not as weird as yours,” you shrugged. “Anyway, it was nice seeing you—you should go back now.”

You gave him a slight push toward the direction of his house, but Taesan didn't budge, instead staying put with an odd grin that sent a chill down your spine.

“Not yet,” he said, pulling out car keys from his pocket and jingling them in front of you. Your eyes widened in disbelief as you glanced over his shoulder, spotting something you should’ve noticed earlier—his parents' car, parked right there. You whipped your head back to Taesan, who let out a laugh at your reaction.

“So, you’re telling me, not only did you sneak out, but you took their car too?!” you exclaimed.

“Technically, it’s supposed to be my car too, so… why can’t I?” he shrugged, still grinning like he hadn't just committed a minor crime (dramatic much?).

“You’re going to get into trouble, Taesan,” you warned, though you couldn’t help but smile at his boldness. This was classic Taesan—reckless, spontaneous, and a little too daring for his own good.

“Not if we don’t get caught,” he smirked.

“What do you mean we—” Before you could finish your sentence, Taesan grabbed your arm and pulled you toward the car. Without much choice, you found yourself sliding into the passenger seat, watching him confidently start up the engine. You shot him a side-eye as the car turned on loudly.

“You’re not going to drag me into your mess if you get into trouble… are you?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“That won’t happen, don’t worry,” he said with a grin, glancing over at you. His casual reassurance didn’t ease your nerves, but something about his energy made you believe him. Even though this seemed reckless and dangerous, there was something thrilling about it, something that made you forget to be cautious.

“Even if it does happen… this better be worth it,” you muttered, glancing at him as he pulled away from your house.

“Making demands now?” Taesan snickered, his hand reaching for the volume knob as he slowly turned up the music you both liked. You hummed along with the familiar melody as he drove, and soon you began to recognize where you were headed.

When you finally arrived at the familiar, secluded spot, a smile crept onto your face. It was the hangout place—the place. It wasn’t anything extraordinary, just an old rooftop in an abandoned part of town, but it held so many memories for you both. Hours spent talking under the stars, laughing about nothing, escaping reality together—it was your safe haven.

“I missed this place,” you quietly exclaimed, staring out of the window as nostalgia washed over you.

“I’m glad you do,” Taesan replied, pulling the car into a spot nearby and shutting off the engine. He turned to you with a soft smile. “It was boring without you here.”

“I would’ve expected so,” you teased with a grin, pushing the car door open and stepping outside. Taesan shook his head at your comment, a small smile tugging at his lips.

You both started walking along the rocky path, the crunching sound beneath your feet breaking the quiet, but in a way that felt calming. As you neared the old, cracked steps leading to the rooftop, Taesan reached for your hand, his familiar words slipping out as if by instinct, “Watch your steps.”

He always said it every time, a small gesture of care that never failed to warm you inside. You gave his hand a small squeeze in response, feeling a comfort that only Taesan could bring—a comfort that had remained constant even after weeks of distance.

It didn’t take long for you two to reach the rooftop, and you couldn’t help but feel a wave of relief when you saw that the mat you’d left last time was still there. With a soft sigh, you sat down, sinking into the familiar comfort of the spot. Taesan followed suit, settling down beside you.

You both gazed up at the night sky. Though it wasn’t lit up with as many stars as usual, the cool, crisp breeze seemed to make up for it.

You two chatted for what seemed like for decades, with the amount of endless topics you two managed to bring up. As much as you wished for this moment to last forever, your mind somehow went back to the thought of what time it could be.

“It’s probably so late right now,” you mumbled, still not bothering to check your phone for the time. “You really shouldn’t have stayed up.”

“Why not?”

“I told you I’d be back late,” you replied, turning to glance at him. “You shouldn’t have waited.”

“I still wanted to see you,” Taesan said without hesitation.

“Why?” you asked, your voice quieter now, more curious than anything.

“Because I like you.”

His words hung in the air for a few seconds, both of you processing what he had just said. Taesan’s eyes widened slightly as if the confession had slipped out by accident, and the shock that hit both of you was almost palpable. Neither of you spoke at first, the cool breeze suddenly feeling much more intense as you stared at him in surprise.

Neither of you could find the words to say next. Taesan turned his head slightly, eyes flicking to the ground as if it could offer him an escape from the awkwardness that had suddenly settled between you. His hands fidgeted with the edge of his hoodie, a nervous habit you’d seen before, though it had never felt so intense.

You stared at him, trying to make sense of what just happened. The cool breeze brushed against your skin, and yet, your body felt warmer. You wanted to say something—anything—but the words were lodged in your throat, stuck between surprise and the realization that this wasn’t just a passing comment.

His confession was still hanging in the air, echoing in the silence between you two.

Taesan shifted uncomfortably, his gaze still fixed on the ground. He finally took a deep breath, but even then, his words faltered. “Uh, I didn’t—” he started, then stopped, his face flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and uncertainty.

You swallowed, trying to calm the sudden rush of emotions that had washed over you.

"You know... Taesan, I feel—" you began, but your words were suddenly interrupted by a loud buzzing from Taesan's pocket. He immediately reached for his phone, and both of you glanced down at the screen. The name "Dad" lit up brightly, sending a jolt of panic through the air.

Both your eyes widened in unison as reality hit. Taesan's face that was once filled with anticipation became paled, and you could feel the tension shift.

There was a brief, terrifying silence before he muttered,

"Oh fuck."

💬 : prepare for more bnd works ( hopefully ) i love them sm

𝓑OY𝓝EXT𝓓OOR 𝓟ERM 𝓣AGLIST IS 𝓞PEN!

PLEASE SEND AN ASK OR COMMENT TO JOIN ♡

[watchmegetobsessed]

SUBTLE

A/N: this idea got stuck on my mind and i thought i would just type it out so here we are!

WORD COUNT: 1k

SUMMARY: Harry's not so subtle way of hinting that he is in the mood.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

There are celebrities that never wear the same outfit twice. Some keep them tucked away in their closet, probably hoping one day they will be displayed in museums and some just simply get rid of them once the clothes are off of their bodies.

Well, your boyfriend is definitely not one of these people. He is the king of wearing something over and over again until it’s totally ruined and can’t be worn again. The best example is his crusty Vans he always wears to the maximum before even considering buying a new one. When Harry likes something, a shirt, a hat or a pair of pants, he is the biggest outfit repeater and that’s something you love so much about him, because it’s so mundane, so down-to-earth.

His most worn shirt however is a surprising one. Well, not to you, because he wears it because of you so whenever you spot him sporting it, you know what his intentions are.

It’s a quiet Sunday afternoon, it’s been raining all weekend so you’ve spent most of it snuggled up at home, watching movies, cooking and spending some well-deserved quality time together after such a busy week. For the past hour you’ve been glued to the couch with your favorite chunky blanket and a book that you haven’t gotten around to read during the weekdays. Your tea is set on the side table, an hour ago it was steaming hot, but now it’s more like room temperature and half of it is also gone. A pair of old sweatpants has been your uniform since yesterday and today you paired them with one of Harry’s many graphic shirts. 

Speaking of your boyfriend, you haven’t seen him for a while now. Last time he mumbled something about having a riff stuck on his mind before he wandered off into his home studio. It’s been radio silence since then and you got to focus fully on your fantasy book. 

Harry emerges from the studio after about one and a half hour that he spent strumming away on his guitar, recording a possible new hit song for his next album. Making music usually makes him feel two ways. First one, which happens more often is hungry. His creativity takes a lot of energy and he is a big boy, he needs food to fuel his body and brain as well. The second one however… that’s what causes him the most issues, especially when he is not recording at home and this is what he feels right now as well.

He’s horny.

The song he worked on was heavily inspired by you and the intimate moments he spent with you in the past months and reliving them definitely got him worked up, that’s why he had to put down his guitar and find a solution to his little situation.

But instead of just looking for you, he sneaks into his closet and grabs the shirt he’s been using with ulterior motives lately. He gets rid of his hoodie and then pulls the other shirt over his head before checking himself in the mirror, his eyes scanning over the “Sex” sign over his chest. He can’t help but smile at the sight of the shirt he wore on SNL, which was such an iconic appearance.

He wanders out of the closet and then the bedroom, looking for you with his teeth sunk into his bottom lip to hide his cheeky smirk. He finds you right where left you before his studio session, snuggled up on the couch with your book, your lips moving as you ready but it’s hard to notice. Your eyes are scanning over the lines, one hand holding the book, the other one playing with the necklace he got you for your birthday two years ago. You look adorable and cozy, but he’s also extremely eager to get under that blanket and between your legs.

Clearing his throat he walks closer, failing to pretend like he is just aimlessly wandering around. He peeks at you and narrows his eyes when he sees you haven’t even acknowledged his presence.

“Hey baby,” he speaks up, hoping to catch your attention.

“Mm, hi, what’s up?” you ask, but your eyes are still glued to the page in front of you. 

“Not much. Just checking in on you.” Squaring his shoulders he takes a deep breath before exhaling dramatically, his palms smoothing over the shirt, especially the word written across his chest. 

“I’m good. Did you finish recording?”

Still no peek at him and he is starting to get frustrated.

“Yeah,” he nods and clears his throat again, standing right in front of you at this point, towering over you.

“Good,” you hum.

You’re still ignoring him and now he is determined to have your pretty eyes on him. A series of coughs follows that finally forces you to look up from the book, mostly because you fear that he has a sore throat, judging from the coughs, but when you catch a glimpse of him you see how he’s puffing his chest so you see what shirt he is really wearing. 

“Huh,” you smile, putting your book aside. “Are you trying to tell me something?” you ask, a smirk stretching across your face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shrugs, running his tongue across his lips.

“Do you happen to want to have sex?” you tilt your head to the side.

“Oh! Now that you’re asking, yes. Yes, I absolutely do!”

You can’t hold your laugh back as he basically throws himself at you, his lips already kissing you all over your face as he wedges himself between you and the back of the couch.

“You’re so subtle,” you giggle against his lips, pulling the blanket over the both of you while his hands are already wandering under your shirt.

“That’s my middle name,” he grins. “Harry Subtle Styles.”

“What happened to Edward?”

“Gone. He’s dead,” he chuckles before his lips get busy with yours. 

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[mimising]

Summer full of wonders I Carlos Sainz

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Carlos Sainz x (she)reader

Hi. I'm back with part 2. Hope you all have a wonderful time reading it.

---

Sweetness with pining for each other.

---

Part 1  ---

 Few days have passed by. As it turned out Carlos did have an extra room for her to stay at. First night she couldn’t fall asleep because of the fear of being tricked and raped or robbed or god knows what. So she was glad to see a note on the kitchen counter saying he went for a run and she could freshen up before he saw her. 

 She noticed how Carlos had a strict workout and food plan. On days he didn’t have plans they would cook together. Some hispanic songs playing in the background. 

 Every morning they went for a swim in the pool. Slowly she has started to understand the movements and with little practice she’ll ace it in no time. They had made plans to go swim in the sea again some day soon. But this day must be soon because in 3 days she will go away. Back to cold weather and slippery pedestrian paths. 

 “Hey, how was your run?” She was just finishing with breakfast. “Great as usual,” answered in an out of breath voice. “The food is almost ready.” Carlos nodded. He was staring. Actually his eyes were stuck on her every movement. He had started to daydream about morning when he could put his hands on her hips from behind and push her against the kitchen counter. 

 She waved her hand. “Carlos?” He shook his head. “Yeah, right. I’ll be right back.” He walked away. The cold shower had been the solution for days now. If only she would stay with him a bit longer. 

“You take care of your health quite a lot. Don’t your joints start hurting with this much workout?” She was curious. And since they didn’t have much time left she had mentally said ‘fuck it’. Carlos sniggers at her comment. “How old do you think I am?” She blushed. ‘The worst thing you can ever do is to guess someone's age wrong by a mile.’ “Eeeh.. in your mid 20s?” To that answer Carlos shook his head. “Close but not really. Also, why should my joints hurt in my mid twenties?” She couldn’t look him in the eyes. “..I don’t know. You just seem to workout A lot.” 

 Carlos had almost finished with his breakfast. “Today we shall go to the beach. You still have a promise to fulfill.” She just nodded and stood up to put dishes away. 

Walking down to the beach was peaceful. Streets were full of people and ice cream sellers. “After the swim it’s ice cream on me,” she babbled. Carlos would love it but the season was near and in a week he would also have to leave this little village to start testing the car. No extra calories were allowed. Although he wouldn’t mind watching her eat ice cream. If only he knew what to do. ‘Should I tell her about my true self? What if she changes like all of them?’

 The young woman had noticed Carlos spacing out. He seemed to do it a lot more than before. “Carlos, do you have a driver's license?” “ A what now?” “You know, licensed to drive a car?” Carlos smirked. “Yes. Want to go for a ride?” he winked. She nodded. “I would like to see some countryside before I have to leave. Do you think you could squeeze it between your training plan?” Carlos was actually over the moon. He could show her his skills and maybe figure out how to see her again after her leaving. “Yes.”

 Unknowingly they had arrived at the beach. The weather was perfect. It was sunny, the sea was calm and no clouds in sight. Only a lot of people were sunbathing. 

 This time they walked together into the water. She was a little hesitant but Carlos took her hand into his. Water got to their knees, then hips and a little further it was already to her breast and only to his middle. “Cariño, are you ready?” She let go of his hand and jumped fully in. Carlos right behind her. 

 She laughed “ I can swim! I can experience the sea like never before!” She shouted at the top of her lungs. Carlos laughed as well. “Yes, cariño. Yes you can. So proud of you.” She turned around, swam to him and hugged him as tight as humanly possible. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” Carlos was little taken back but hugged her right back.  

 She looked him in the eyes. ‘If only I could kiss him.’ Carlos kissed her on the forehead. “Let's swim some more. The waves will be back soon.” She let go of him. Her mind was on something else. So was Carlos’s. 

 While Carlos was in the gym, she was packing for a picnic. She was working up the courage to ask him out. Or find out if he was in any way interested to see her again. 

 She did her make-up a little fancier than on an average day. Carlos had a hard time choosing an outfit and had to ask some help from a friend. Finally they were both ready. Carlos had been sitting on the couch when she walked in. His heart stopped a beat. ‘oh madre ayúdame!’ “I’m ready to go” Her smile reached her big joyful eyes. Carlos coughed. “Yes! Let’s go.” 

 She saw his car for the first time. She didn’t even know he had one, neither the less a sports car. “I think I have misjudged you.” Carlos started the car. “And why is that?” She looked around the car. “I mean, if you have a sports car then you must know how to drive. The question is how good of a driver you are.” Carlos said nothing but winked. 

 In the main streets he obeyed the speed limit but right after the ‘end of village’ sign he stepped on a gas. “Oh my god! Carlos! Slow down!” She held tight to her seatbelt. “You are going to kill us!” Carlos looked at her. “Don’t worry. I know what I’m doi-” She interfered “Eyes on the ROAD, for christ sake!” Carlos’s smile widened. She on the other hand was barely holding it together. ‘Oh god. I’m too young to die. I still have a movie kiss to experience!’  Like this wasn’t enough, Carlos added some more speed. “Carlos I swear to god if you won’t slow down I’ll never share a car ride with you again!” she cried. He laughed but eventually slowed down. “OK-OK. I’ll drive like a grandma.” 

 She was still out of breath and tried to calm her heart by closing her eyes. Carlos would steal looks to see how she’s doing. He got his adrenaline up which helped to make a decision. A decision he would soon fulfill. 

 There was a beautiful field full of wildflowers. “I think this is a perfect place to stop.”

 He parked the car. When turning off the engine he looked  at her. She had her eyes on the field. He would stare at her all the time if it weren’t creepy. 

 Carlos was carrying a picnic basket while she was walking around and occasionally stopping to take pictures. They decided to lay out the picnic just beside a big old tree. Carlos was laying out the planket when he heard a camera click. He looked at her. “What? It would’ve been a shame to not take a picture.” 

 They sat beside each other. Food scattered in front of them. She had taken the wine classes but Carlos filled them with orange juice. “Cheers!” After a little sip, she took out her film camera again. “Why take pictures on a film if we have digital cameras?” asked Carlos. She turned dramatically around and looked him in the eye. “Because! Imagine, you have to think out every detail for the picture to come out. And you won’t know how it came out til you develop it.” Carlos nodded. “Mind if I take a picture of you then?” She handed him the camera. “Sure.” 

 Carlos stood up, stepped a few steps back and pointed the camera to their little picnic with her in the center. “Smile!” he said. Her smile was genuine. When Carlos sat back down she sighed, “if only I could take a picture of us together on a picture.” 

 “So you're telling me you are almost 30?! You don’t seem to be even a day past 24. How is it that you are almost a fossil without looking like it?” “Fossil? I’m not THAT old. Besides, 30 is not the end of human life. It’s just the beginning.” She nodded, “Sure, Fossil.” Carlos attacked her with tickles. “Stop it you muppet! I’m not a fossil!” She had tears in her eyes. “Hahaha, Carlos! Stooop. I can’t take it anymore.” But he shook his head. “Not til you stop calling me that.” She tried to beat it but had to give up. “OK-OK! I won’t call you Fossil again… Dinosaur.” Just as Carlos had stopped, he attacked her again. 

 The sun was much lower than it had been on their arrival. A slight gust of wind had come. Flowers danced while butterflies tried to land on them. “Would you go out with me?”

[kindestofkings]

dancing in the moonlight

josh jenkinson x guitarist!reader

about: reader's sitting room sessions are like acoustic covers she posts on youtube hope thats clear, also sooo many different faceclaims I hadn't it in me to keep the same lolll ENJOY

also! you know I buzz off including alll my favs in my smaus so enjoy 🤭

yourusername

liked by sarahjones and others

yourusername the last leg of love on tour has officially begun, somebody sedate me.

📷 @lloyddddddddddddddddd

view all other comments

harryfan1 noooo why cant you keep going forever ?

harryfan3 they already have this is like year 3 of this tour lol yourusername yeahh unfortunately rest is needed

harryfan2 you are the coolest member of the love band pass it on

fan1 will your sitting room sessions end till its over?

yourusername no acc going to keep doing them on the road ! <3

lloyddddddddddddddddd sickk one

yourusername

liked by harrystyles and others

yourusername home show babyyy (kinda Im from dublin) but omg Slane you were a mad experience!

view all other comments

harryfan1 haha was that last pic added in by accident ?

yourusername hahah no I needed the pic of sir styles, bag of cans IN HAND on my grid yourusername its gonna be my next tattoo

harrystyles 🤨🤨

yourusername nah come on look at the joy on your face, just a boy with his bag of cans xx

evehewson he didnt even swim just drank the cans

harrystyles enough of the lies #fakenews

harryfan2 I love how unserious she is with harry

sarahjones you own yellow !

inhalerdublin

liked by yourusername and others

inhalerdublin We’ll never be able to fully recover from the experience of playing Slane Castle yesterday. Thank you to @harrystyles for having us open for him in such a legendary place. And to every one of you who sang our songs back to us.

See you in November Ireland x

📸 @lewsvans

view all other comments

inhalerfan1 inslayer at slayne castle

lewsvans just a small one

yourusername massive

harryfan1 same girl also in my inhaler era after them opening

yourusername

liked by joshjenkinson_ and others

yourusername babe wake up a new sitting room session just dropped xx

todays tune has been stuck in my head since slane, check out the video for my jetlagged attempt of dublin in ecstasy <3

view all other comments

yourmam get your shoes of that couch young lady

yourusername 😧😧 sorry mammy

inhalerdublin we're honoured ❤️

harryfan1 you are both so talented and so hot

harryfan2 frrrr I dont know if I wanna be her or with her

inhalerfan1 did you meet the lads ?!

yourusername I did yes ! but I was acc at one of their first few gigs way back when so second time seeing them live 😎 inhalerfan1 wow I did not know you were an inhaler fan! I'm seeing them for the first time in paris later this year !! yourusername ah enjoy, the place where the whole world waits to come alive 😏 ryanmcmahon_15 obsessed much?

joshjenkinson_ worryingly good, please don't come for my job !

yourusername the man that you are that bridge is sick! p.s. I could never match your dance moves ryanmcmahon_15 those would be the infamous jenkinson knees yourusername mesmerising x

harryflorals

liked by harryfan1 and others

harryflorals harry featured in one of yourusername's sitting room sessions, which they recorded during a day off on tour! the premise of the series started out as just yourusername playing acoustic covers but has become a fan favourite and she's started having guests !

view all other comments

harryfan1 no way what song did they sing??

harryflorals they sang in a week which is originally by Hozier x

harryfan2 so rogue of him but I love it

harryfan3 ughh casual harry my favourite harry

harryfan4 they sounded soooo good

harryfan1 what is their vibes? friends or can we start the ship? harryfan4 I think its strictly platonic ! she's been part of his band for ages now

yourusername posted to their story!

you can't see but major heart eyes

replies:

inhalerfan1 at who tho??? please be a josh girlie

joshjenkinson_ 😳😳

yourusername

liked by joshjenkinson_ and others

yourusername an emotional day at the office today. never wanted to say goodbye to love on tour but I am so greatful for the experience.

massive thank to harrystyles for bringing me along on both tours, had so much fun <33

📷 @helenepambrun.photography @lloyddddddddddddddddd @anthonypham

view all other comments

harrystyles the best in the business

yourusername what are you doing?? get off your phone and get writing another album so we can go on tour again?!?! harryfan1 listen to the boss

bobbyskeetz inhaler x yourusername sitting room sesh now?

joshjenkinson_ she'd have to be not touring for that to happen bobbyskeetz not touring ? YOU JUST FINISHED? yourusername lol yeah about thattttt

sarahjones loved sharing this experience with you sister

yourusername wouldn't have been the same without you miss jones xxx

harryfan2 you were my favourite member of the love band !! will you ever be releasing your own music ?

yourusername thanks my love! at the moment no, I'm actually joining another band for their upcoming tour so will be busy with that. buttt the sitting room sessions will continue <33

harryfan2 pity but all fun stuff! what band? yourusername all will be revealed🤫

inhalerfan1 the inhaler boys do be in her comments a lot these days..

joshjenkinson_ posted to their story! (private)

studying, taking notes

replies:

yourusername exCUSE me I think you'll find you're the rockstar, with all the groupies

↳ i'm not the one on two international tours in one year tho ?? am I?

↳ yourusername lol fair but as the president of the josh fanclub, I suggest you should do that x

elijahhewson fact: guitarist and singer is a better couple

yourusername

liked by bedfordanes and others

yourusername first of all selling pEtROL. joining the inventors of tumblr on the next of their tour so I'm returning to the tumblr aesthetic (method playing?)

see all you emos at the 1975 still... at their very best, but until then I'll leave you with a sitting room sesh (bedroom ed 😏 ) xx

view all other comments

harryfan1 do you ever rest???

the1975 tour just got a whole lot more fun !

1975fan1 no way im so excited, shes so hot

inhalerfan1 is the sitting room sesh a emo classic?

yourusername you know it, my fav the 1975 song change your ticket ! trumanblack fired for defamation x yourusername its all quite meta 🤨

1975fanupdates

liked by 1975fan and others

1975fanupdates obsessed with yourusername ever since my 1975 show. how is someone so cool and pretty??? living rent free

view all other comments

1975fan1 no cause Im the EXACT same, shes such a good guitarist aswell

1975fan2 it must be happening at every show lol. even though shes at the back matty kept trying to get the attention back on him

1975fanupdates lmao I cant

harryfan1 awh I miss her!! her boyf is soo lucky

1975fan1 noo she has a boyfriend thats heartbreaking news, who is it? harryfan1 Im not sure! there was just a bang at the start of her last sitting room sesh and she said sorry my boyfriend keeps hitting his head off my low door frame 😭😭

yourusername posted to their story!

hot.

replies:

joshjenkinson_ 2 days was not enough

↳ babyyyy I know this is the worst

1975fan1 lost my wife to a man 😭 😭 😭😭

inhalerfan1 IS THAT JOSH!!!!!!!!

ryanmcmahon_15 those infamous jenkinson knees

joshjenkinson_ (private)

liked by yourusername and others

joshjenkinson_ she really buzzes off a good windowsill

view all other comments

yourusername YOU GOTTA SLIDE OUT THE WINDOWWWWW elijahhewson 🎤?

elijahhewson ...... yourusername ........ elijahhewson slideeee yourusername yayayayyyy

bobbyskeetz day 40000 of asking for a inhaler sitting room sesh

yourusername yeah you and like 3 other people, im overwhelmed

yourusername

liked by joshjenkinson_ and others

yourusername yeah no big deal just about to drop a sitting room session where I sing mazzy star's fade into you with my music crush THE julien baker. 😀😀😀 feeling so normal about this

go watch it, we had a lot of fun!

view all other comments

yourusername also im putting more into the production of these so hopefully the sound and visual quality increase is a nice treat for y'all <33

julienrbaker spends 2 days in memphis and is saying y'all..

yourusername inner cowgirl was unleashed, dont force her back into the box 🤠

1975fan1 wow not my two celeb crushes together...

yourusername im weak that you're considering me a celeb

phoebebridgers take me next please

yourusername omg if I must 😳🤭

yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername boyfriend reveal or the next guest on sitting room sessions? you decide what you wanna focus on xx

terrifying take of lana del rey's let the light in, we both love to hide behind guitars so be gentle x

view all other comments

harryfan1 omg this is so so so so beautiful

inhalerfan1 josh's vocals need to be louder next album/tour !! boy can sing

elijahhewson im gonna focus on how you stole my man

yourusername just cause you’re petty that you haven't been on a sitting room sesh yet xx inhalerfan1 PLEASE have him on I beg

bobbyskeetz wtf has a guy got to do to get invited to a session, sleep with you?

joshjenkinson_ you're getting a box yourusername gross robert thanks for the nightmare fuel

harrystyles this is my favourite one yet x

yourusername too kind H, such a softie for romance

inhalerfan2 omg they're dating 😭 😭 😭 😭 such a hot couple 😭 😭 😭

1975fanupdates

liked by joshjenkinson_ and others

1975fanupdates its yourusername's life and we're just living in it. She came in at 60th on this list, slayed so hard

view all other comments

yn'swife I say thats my wife and Im proud

inhalerfan1 bless josh in his supportive era <3

1975fan1 she needs to go on her own tour immediately

(liked by joshjenkinson_ and others)

yourusername

liked by julienrbaker and others

yourusername this sitting room session is evidence for how annoying bobbyskeetz can be! ALL the boys of inhaler joined me in my newww (😏) sitting room for a chaos cover of dreams by the cranberries <3

p.s. thought this photo was giving yay fun! when I took it but on reflection it looks like eli and bobby are making fun of me 🤨

view all other comments

inhalerfan1 miss thank you for delivering all this inhaler content, the drought has been real!

yourusername I got you gorgeous xx

bobbyskeetz I prefer the term persistent actually

yourusername yeah and I prefer a headache free existence but we cant all get what we want xx joshjenkinson_ thought management told yous to be nicer online... yourusername its SOO hard tho inhalerfan2 its giving such sibling energy lol

elijahhewson stop the lies #falsenarrative

ryanmcmahon_15 in a band of bullies, thanks for having us tho !!

harryfan1 you're making me an inhaler fan with all this lol

FINISHED

josh girles how did I do??? love making this one

[millie-mar]

the stranger things i hate about you

chapter eight: a date?

| 1358 words | 10 things i hate about you!steddie |

The past couple weeks Steve has not separated with his Walkman, constantly listening to the songs Eddie has given him. Especially after the little moment they shared in the classroom. They have been staying up all night, chatting about the music, and the lyrics, and Steve was surprised to find out that Munson writes the songs himself. Somehow they never had to worry about a dead silence between them, there was always something to talk about, and it kind of scares Steve. He hasn't had a friend like that in a long time.

'Steve, you're giggling at your phone like a school girl, stop it. It's creepy.' Robin winces looking at the boy sat on the bed next to her, a magazine open on her knees. Robin's back rests against the headboard, while Steve is sitting at the edge, facing the door.

'No I'm not!' he exclaims and turns to face Robin, his eyebrows scrunched but a smile still persistent.

'What happened to your face?' she asks, getting up and poking his cheek.

'Oh, get off my ass. And I'm not giggling, it was a manly laugh. I got a-'

'Funny message from Eddie,' Robin interrupted, imitating Steve's voice, 'Yeah, I know. He's all you're talking about.'

'Well, you wanted me to get close to him. You should be happy I'm doing such a great job.' Steve sits up proudly. But what he doesn't mention to Robin is that he starts thinking of Eddie as a friend. A really good friend. They've gotten closer lately; much closer than Steve's gotten with anyone in a long time.

'Well, I'm sure it's more than just a 'job' for you.' Robin mumbles under her breath loud enough for the boy to hear her

'What is that supposed to mean?' Steve turns around to her completely, his face not so bright anymore. His eyes are squinted, staring Robin down.

Robin reaches out to Steve, grabbing his hands. The magazine slides off her legs. 'Stevie, you are the softest guy I've ever met. And trust me, I've met many.' She squeezes his hands in a reassuring gesture, sending him a smile.

'Well, I'm not being much of a softie right now.' Steve replies, his tone darker, as he glances at his phone. The screen lit up with a notification from Eddie.

'Steve, can I ask you a serious question?' Robin's shift in attitude scares Steve slightly, but he nods. 'Don't freak out. I'm not sure where you stand...' Well, that sentence definitely makes Steve freak out. 'Do you have a crush on Eddie by any chance?'

Steve's eyes widen and heart speeds up. He can feel his cheeks warm up, turn a pinkish colour, but he tries to ignore it, as unrecognisable sounds leave his mouth. Finally he manages to let a word out, 'What?'

Robin sighs. 'Steve, I'm not picking on you or anything. Just asking if you're attracted to Eddie.'

'No,' Steve replies immediately, but then gets all quiet and lets out a nervous 'No?' He doesn't know what to think. Now that Robin's words are stuck in his head, he's remembering all the times during basketball practice, where he could feel his pulse speed up slightly when another boy got close to him. Or when Billy Hargrove grinded against him when they were doing one on one. His cheeks brighten up with an even stronger shade of pink.

'Well, I guess I got my answer.' Robin lets go of his hands, leaning back on the headboard. She grabs the magazine, reading through the pages casually, as if she didn't just flick Steve's world upside down.

'This is too confusing.' Steve drops his face in his hands.

'The only reason I mentioned it, is because it could complicate a lot...'

Steve looks at Robin confused at first but then remembers. Robin pays him to hang out with Eddie. 'I'm not into him.' Steve retorts, but he doesn't sound so confident anymore.

Robin doesn't fully believe him, she's seen how Steve lights up when a message from the boy with curly hair comes through. She doesn't ask any more. If he wants to be in denial, there's not much she can do about it. Maybe that's for the better. 'Okay. On that note. I almost forgot, the payment for the last meet up.' She reaches for her bag that's settled by her bed and takes her wallet out. She passes Steve the money, which he takes reluctantly. She sends him a look, one that he interprets as 'You can stop whenever you want.' He smiles.

'Thanks, Robin.'

'Always, Harrington.'

———————————————————————

It's the evening when Steve gets back home, his thoughts still a mumbled mess from the conversation with Robin. She never mentioned the topic again after that talk, but it was on both their minds. But now that he's back home, the kitchen and small lounge so cold, and quiet, it feels even more lonely than usual. Especially after hanging out with Robin earlier today. Steve puts his phone on the coffee table and makes his way to the bathroom. The phone vibrates on the surface, device set on silent mode.

Steve takes much longer than normal in the shower. Almost as if he's trying to wash away the confusing feelings swarming through his body. He lets his thoughts get lost under the hot water cascading on his head. He holds himself against the wall, water drips off his hair, his eyes closed even though the water doesn't reach them. Thoughts of Eddie and Robin's philosophies cross his mind, and he can't help but agree with her. This is getting dangerous.

Steve doesn't realise when an hour passes. Goosebumps form on his shoulders as the water cools down and that's what shakes him awake. He turns the shower off and gets out, taking his time. He dries himself with a blank white towel, gets dressed and leaves the bathroom, making his way straight to the lounge to get his phone. The device lights up as soon as he reaches out for it, messages from Eddie stands out amongst other notifications.

target:

dude

this is gon sound so weird

but i need ur help

like asap

you there

its been an hour

and ik ur not sleepin

steeve

stevie

harrington

Steve smiles, seeing how the boy spammed his phone in a very Eddie manner. But the last message makes Steve's heart stop, breath getting shallower.

target:

pretty boy?

Steve doesn't know how to reply to that message. It's like his mind short circuited, mouth gone dry. Is Eddie flirting with him? They did get closer recently, but that's much closer than he thought. His fingers hover over the keyboard, hesitant how to reply to the curly haired boy.

steve:

sorry was in the shower

long day

whats up

Well, that might have been a little bit too casual. A reply comes in almost immediately.

target:

are you ok?

Steve feels a pain shoot through his chest. No, nothing's okay is what Steve, wish he could reply, but then he'd have to explain everythign to Eddie. Instead, he goes into Eddie's contact info and changes the name, target started to bother him. Then he replies.

steve:

yeah dw

just a lot happened

with my friend

He added the last message quickly, to not seem like it was something he made up. Even though he did. It's so much easier to say his problems are his friend's problems. People stop prying when they hear that. Steve underestimated Eddie.

THE pretty boy:

ur sure?

i'll listen even if its abt ur friend

"Shit," Steve whispers and sits down on his couch, placing his face in his hand. He can feel how hot his face is, and realises how deep into this shit he is. "I'm fucked."

steve:

yeah im sure

ill keep that in mind tho

thank you

u did need help with something though

THE pretty boy:

ah yes! i alr forgot

go on a date with me

Steve stops breathing. As if breathing is unnatural for him, Steve just holds his breath, eyes wide and cheeks getting even warmer. He replies, hands shaky.

steve:

what?

<- last | next ->

[paintbrushnebula]

Here's a buncha my personal Gwen Stacy Headcanons that no one asked for but I'm giving anyway :3 I wrote a Butt Ton and I hope y'all like really 'em 🐧

Gwen was a very tough, reckless kid growing up. She tripped and fell a LOT because she liked doing stunts and parkouring on literally everything, but she'd never cry. George was always scared of Gwen getting hurt from her stunts but he was impressed (if a little freaked) by how she'd get right back up afterward like it was nothing. Gwen was just a very naturally durable child. She'd always have at least one band-aid on her somewhere.

(My sister wrote this one): As a result of her absolutely Tasmanian devil type recklessness, George would cut her hair SUPER short as a child, like pixie hair type short to avoid having to always wash out the bugs and dirt and leaves and wood chips and literally anything she grabs and just goes "Savin this for later yo" in her hair. (She still stuck stuff in her hair and honestly liked the short hair better cuz she could run faster, but ey it reduced the expenses on baby shampoo SIGNIFICANTLY) n she wasn't allowed to grow her scruffy little spike head hair long again till she was like 8 poor georgie was struggling for ideas he's just a guy HES JUST A GUY MAN !!!!!

Gwen begged George for a penguin as a pet when she was 5 but was told that penguins can't be pets. She played club penguin almost every day until middle school. She starts playing it again after they defeat the Spot. Margo plays it with her all the time. Gwen was absolutely appalled when she discovered that Club Penguin is discontinued in Miles' universe.

Yeah she's 100% patching things up with Glory, Em Jay, and Betty after Beyond the Spiderverse. The Mary Janes become a successful niche band very quickly now that Gwen is fully committed and she even performs as lead vocalist every now and then. Gwen eventually starts writing and singing songs of her own for their shows. She also starts spending more time with them outside the band.

Gwen and Peter's favorite childhood activity was making home videos. Peter's videos emulate Bill Nye the Science Guy; he'd showcase all these experiments/prepared presentations and ramble on about them pretending he's this world renowned scientist. Gwen's videos are her doing crazy stunts on her skateboard, or inspecting exotic bugs/lizards with her bare heckin' hands and talking to them in funny voices. They'd each film the other's videos. They stopped making them when they reached middle school; life just got harder for the both of them due to increased bullying, Gwen becoming Spider-Woman, and Peter's mental health getting worse. Gwen still has their old video camera with all their videos still intact, but since Peter's death, she hasn't been able to bring herself to watch them again.

She loves saying "yell heah"/"yell hes"/"what the yell"/"aw yellll nahhh" a lot

Big fan of action/neo-noir/crime thriller movies: John Wick, Sicario, Baby Driver, Nightcrawler, Pulp Fiction, Batman, etc. Just any piece of fiction with Misunderstood Action Person who's always On The Run, hunted by the law but just trying to get by, struggling to survive in an unjust system. Toootallllyyy doesn't hit close to home for her.

PC gamer? Yell hes.

She's a surprisingly talented voice artist/impressionist with impressive range. She already figured out how to perfectly mimic Hobie's cockney British accent after like a week. She never forgets a voice and can do quickly do impressions of lots of famous fictional characters. She'll come up with all these funny voices to make Miles laugh or prank call people. She LOVES prank calling people.

Part of George's motivation for letting Gwen take up ballet was so that she could learn proper balance/coordination so she'd be more careful when performing all her stunts. I think that Gwen used to be naturally clumsy until ballet taught her proper agility. He thought that if she was gonna be a little daredevil, then she could at least be able to catch herself before her face is slamming into the pavement.

Gwen is a big nickname-giver. She calls Miles "Bambi" (he looks like a baby deer to her), Margo is "Mars Bar", Peni is "Panini", and Pav is "Pavlova." She mostly nicknames people after food really.

She's not really a candy person but she is definitely a junk food person. M&Ms, Cool Ranch Doritos, Pringles, soft drinks (favors coke), Reese's, Cheez-its (her favorite), Oreos, and your typical fast foods.

After the Spot fiasco is over and she and Miles are months into their relationship, Gwen starts putting on a bit of weight. Not that much, but her form fills out enough to be noticeable. I like the idea that she becomes so happy with herself post-Beyond that she indulges herself a little, yknow? She takes an immediate liking to Rio's food and Rio is always giving her extra leftovers to take home or packs her something to eat during Spider-missions. She doesn't become aware of the extra weight until Miles' clothes start fitting her a little tighter than she remembers (he's very skinny after all). She's very happy with her new shape and chooses not to lose it (mostly because she refuses to have to eat less which honestly same)

Going back to the home video headcanon; Peter actually recorded one last video the night before the prom. In the video, he presents the vial containing the lizard serum to the viewer and explains his plan to drink the serum so he can get revenge on everyone who bullied him at the school. The way Peter enthusiastically presents his plan in the video is eerily similar to the old science videos he recorded as a child. At the end of the video, he rambles about how excited he is to become "special like her," but he doesn't elaborate further; anyone who isn't Gwen won't know who he's talking about. Since Gwen hasn't opened that video camera to this day, she has no idea the video exists (I don't know if she ever sees it).

I'll post the next part of that 'Gwen Stacy is Sick' comic tomorrow I promise XD

[littlelalu]

Study date | Milo Manheim

------------------------------------------------------

It was a typical Wednesday afternoon, and the noise coming from coffee machines and the conversation from others filled the cozy atmosphere of Panera. I saw at my usual corner table with my laptop, textbooks for 1 of my classes, my iced coffee, and a bagel.

This is the perfect place to study near NYU. A lot of students come here to study, but it’s never too loud, and there is always enough space for everyone. Midterms are coming up, so everyone is stressed out. As much as I am trying to focus on studying, I can’t. I am worried I will fail my midterms and possibly fail the year. I am an overthinker, so that doesn’t help. 

“Studying hard?” asked a soothing and warm voice.

I glanced up and saw a tall, handsome guy with slightly messy brown hair and beautiful brown eyes. He had a coffee in his hand. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on it just yet.

“Yeah, I have some midterms coming up and have been studying for a week now,” I responded to him and smiled. 

“You go to NYU?” he asked curiously.

As much as I wanted to lie about where I go to school because of the fear of getting “kidnapped,” he seemed honest.

“Yeah, I do. Do you?” I asked. I may have seen him around campus when I was not rushing between classes. 

“Yes. Well, no, but I used to. I just graduated in May of 2023. Mind if I sit with you?”

“Not at all. Sorry for my mess.” I said as I cleared the table a bit, shoving some paper to the side. 

“You’re fine.” he sat down across from me. “I’m Milo.” he stuck his right hand out towards the middle of the table.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N.” I responded and shook his hand. His hands felt so soft and warm. “So, Milo, what did you major in?”

“I majored in Drama. I love acting and wanted to perfect my art. I wanted to be closer to my momma, so I moved here to New York and figured I should go to NYU.” He said with a cute smile.

“That’s great. I’m sorry, but I feel like I have seen you before. Have we met?”

“No, but I wish we had.” He slightly laughed “I think you may have seen me on TV. I was in Dancing with the Stars when I was 17, and then I starred in a Disney Movie called Zombies. I did a few episodes for some other shoes.” 

“Oh my! Yes, I remember now. My niece is obsessed with Zombies. She has been for a couple of months now. I have not watched any of the movies, but I remember snippets of songs and videos she would show me when I visited her,” I said with a slight giggle.

“Oh really? Whatcha think about me then?” He asked in a silly way and winked at me.

I felt some heat on my cheek. Am I blushing?

“In my honest opinion, you seemed funny, and your singing is good. Although, like I said, I did not watch your movies fully.” I said honestly.

He smiled at me. “Well, what about you get to know me a little more? I can even sing to you, and you can tell me how I do.” He laughed.

“I would love to, but I have midterms coming up. I will be busy for the next week and a half,” I said. I saw his face a bit disappointed.

He took his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me. “How about you text me when you are free?”

I grabbed his phone, typed in my number, and returned it to him. “Sounds like a plan.”

He got up and adjusted his hoodie. I was admiring his tall figure. He is cute. He even fixed his hair before putting on his baseball hat. 

“It was nice meeting you, Y/N. Can’t wait to see you after your midterms.” He stuck his hand out again.

We shook hands. “Nice meeting you too, Milo.”

He began heading out. I saw him take his phone out towards the front. That’s when I heard my phone ring. I grabbed it, and it was from an unknown number.

‘Hey, Y/N. It’s Milo. I enjoyed talking with you tonight. Sorry for interrupting your studying. Good luck with your midterm exams. Your grand prize is waiting ;) ‘

I giggled before responding.

‘Haha. Thank you. Can’t wait!’

I ended up packing up my stuff before heading to my apartment. Milo and I texted each other on the way home and for the remainder of the night. We started to text every day after that. Slowly falling for him each day. 

Best. Distraction. Ever. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Note: Hellooo! I hope everyone is having a great day. Let me know what you think or if you have any ideas for me to write about.

[zhonglicious]

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐯. (𝐡𝐜𝐬)

☀ ft. ran haitani x reader

☀ warnings. mentions of fighting and making up. light angst i suppose? not sure if this warrants a warning, but mentions of chubby reader! honestly i think that's it, but lmk if i should add warnings for other topics!

☀ a/n. first post on this acc <33 honestly more ran centered than reader centered bc i love picking apart tr characters lol. probably not that coherent but eh <//3 wrote this bc i'm procrastinating on studying for my semi-finals lmfao <33 lowercase intentional btw!

❧ i just know ran would be the sweetest bf ever :((

❧ we're all in agreement his main love language is gift giving, yes? yes. i mean just look at him?? honestly i think he uses all of the love languages, but his main one is simply just gift giving

❧ we all know he's a rich man with no other way to spend his money than on his beloved. the gift giving is particularly heavy at the start of the relationship, as well as when he was still wooing you. like, i swear, you could not go a single week without finding a bouquet at your doorstep, or him offering you a pretty wrapped box

❧ even when you get further into the relationship, the gifts simply do. not. stop. it's less frequent now, yes, but it's still a little overwhelming sometimes. he doesn't hesitate to hand over his card or buy something you point out to him, all while he smiles and kisses the top of your head, telling you not to worry about how expensive it is

❧ another main love language for him is physical touch. he absolutely has to be holding some part of you at all times. of course, if you're not comfortable with his touch just yet, he's willing to wait for you to get used to him and trust him fully

❧ if you don't like pda, that's fine too! he doesn't mind keeping it lowkey in public, as long as he gets to shower you with affection once you get home <33

❧ he loves all body types, he just absolutely loves the feeling of you in his arms. although i just know that man prefers thicker people. but that's a topic for another post <33

❧ his favorite thing to do with you has to be those quiet, peaceful days where you two do nothing but lay in bed and just. do nothing

❧ not even watch a movie or anything, it's just. you and him with the curtains drawn. him holding you to his chest and playing with your hair, humming the song that's been stuck in his head, little things you've come to associate with him

❧ sometimes you think he just likes to feel your heartbeat, just to remind himself that you're here with him

❧ other activities he likes doing with you is playing games. especially when it's co-op games like minecraft or stardew. he absolutely must set his bed next to you btw, he just has to, sorry man i don't make the rules

❧ speaking of that, he's. very dramatic, yes.

❧ when it comes to small matters, he likes to whine at you, yes. you didn't say i love you to him today? "my baby doesn't love me anymore..." [fake sniffling] you ate the last of his food? [gasp] "how dare you-" [clutching his chest in offense]

❧ most of the time, he's not really serious, he just likes to see the way your face scrunches up at his antics. loves to laugh and flick your nose, before leaning down to kiss your forehead and apologize

❧ however, when you guys actually do fight, it's intense

❧ not in the way that there's screaming and yelling. although there is, sometimes, but most of the time it's surprisingly... quiet

❧ see, the thing about ran is that he internalizes a lot of things, and he's stubborn. all his life, especially with taking care of rindou, he's had to put on this facade of strength even when he's completely losing it

❧ so when you guys do fight, it's horrible because he doesn't want to back down from his stand. he takes a few days to cool off but once he does, he comes back and apologizes, however hard that is for him

❧ ran isn't used to love. he's always had to be tough and cold to make sure he and rindou survived. so it takes him a long time to deconstruct his walls and let himself be vulnerable to you, admit he was wrong. when that man says you're the better half of him, he means it, because you taught him how to open himself up to his loved ones, to stop being so on guard with everything in fear it might hurt him or his brother

❧ the same applies when he's feeling down. rather than talk about it, he'd rather isolate himself and push it all away, never to be seen again. it's a habit he's picked up from taking care of rindou, tbh. he doesn't want to worry you so he puts on a smile all the time

❧ but the moment you hug him and pat his head and tell him to let it all out, his breath hitches and the words finally come out, words he's had barring his throat all his life

❧ being in a relationship with ran can be rough, because he's still trying to figure out how to let himself be vulnerable around you. he's never had that luxury, to be able to put down his walls and not be hurt

❧ but i promise you that man is trying because he loves you, he loves how kind and caring you are, not just to him, but to the people around you

❧ so yes, to reiterate my first point, ran would be the sweetest bf ever, and i will forever stand by that <33

[azenighty]

‼️ TRIGGER WARNINGS ‼️ MOUTH GORE / BLOODY MOUTH

You've been warned 🫵 (it's just a drawing but still-)

.

.

.

Omg I'm sorry guys I haven't post in a while, school has been rough on me xd But I have been drawing something for weeks now and finally I'm done with it!

I did two versions: Mask on

and Mask off:

Yes this is Delirium, 2P Delirious, and the eyes belong to 2P Vanoss. There is a story behind this and it'll be quite long but it's not fully developed yet, it's like an idea stuck in my head.

It's a story about both 1P and 2P meeting with each other thanks to a glitch 1P did. That's a story for another drawing tho ;) right now it's about these two. Let's just say 2p Delirious and 2p Vanoss don't have the healthiest friendship, nowhere near actually. I thought like "Oh since Vanoss and Delirious are like super close let's contrast that in this AU" y'know? So they both have this terrible bond where 2p Vanoss manipulates 2p Delirious and he unfortunately follows because he thinks he is seen as a friend, even when things go too far. There's a reason why 2p Delirious is mute in this Au, and it's not a vow of silence. What exactly does 2p Vanoss do? or did? and why? That's a story for another drawing :)

(Btw if the pose seems familiar, I did get inspired from a song :D Hyperdontia by GHOST and Creep-P. It's a cool ass song check it out on YouTube!! This song helped me describe the relationship between these two)

[lulu2992]

After listening to this song on repeat and/or having it regularly stuck in my head these past few weeks, I’ve finally seen Wish!

I had read many reviews that said the movie was bland because it lacked originality, and while I understand this point of view, in a way... I think it was intentional.

The film was released for Walt Disney Animation Studios’ 100th Anniversary and is full of more or less obvious references to other Disney movies, whether it’s a well-known character name that’s mentioned, someone directly quoting another film, or even just a background, object, gesture, or scene composition that, for some reason, feels familiar. The fact that all those “Easter eggs”, which could have been very annoying but, in my opinion, manage to remain fun (not really in a self-mocking way as Enchanted did, though), exist, combined with the images that appear during the end credits and the scene that follows (yes, there is a post-credits scene), make me say the goal was to make the “Disneyest Disney movie”.

Wish is not lazy, it’s a celebration.

It’s still its own film with its own story, but it’s first and foremost a tribute to Walt Disney Animation Studios, all the movies they’ve released over the years, and the now iconic (some might say overused) concepts of “wishing upon a star” and hoping your “dreams come true”. At one point, there’s also a flip book (with a time chart!), and I see this as a nod to traditional animation, as well as an homage to the original “magic makers”: animators in general.

So yes, it’s unoriginal and maybe not the most memorable Disney film. As you would expect, it opens on a storybook, takes place in a fictional kingdom, features a heroine who has an animal sidekick and a dead parent, and she has to fight against a charismatic villain who uses green magic. I would describe Wish as a quintessential Disney movie, and while it may not be groundbreaking, it’s still cute, pretty, and entertaining. The characters are good and, even when they don’t have a lot of screen time, have distinct personalities. I’m thinking in particular of Asha’s friends who, as I’ve just realized writing this, must be a reference to the Seven Dwarves (even their initials match)... There also are many songs, of course, as they are yet another trademark of Disney movies. Special mention to “This Is The Thanks I Get?!” because I thought it was quite catchy and the most original!

Speaking of King Magnifico, he really is a great character and “classic” Disney villain, and it feels like we hadn’t seen that in a while. That said, [spoilers]…

...I was a bit disappointed they introduced his tragic backstory (without fully explaining what exactly happened, by the way) and then didn’t really do anything with it at the end. Sure, it humanizes him, gives him depth, and explains why he’s unhealthily obsessed with being in control, and I agree that not all villains need or deserve a full redemption arc, but… I don’t know, since they mention the fact his family died and that the fear of loss is what motivates him (at least at the beginning), I expected that to play a bigger role in the story, and especially in its conclusion. I’m not saying he should have been redeemed because I don’t know if it would have worked in that story anyway, but taking into account his past, the fact they mention it several times, and what they (Disney) have been doing with many of their villains lately, I simply thought it was likely to happen. Maybe King Magnifico didn’t necessarily “deserve better” as a person because he does become “evil”, to the point that even Queen Amaya, his wife, eventually turns her back on him despite their seemingly sincere connection, but as a character, I’m inclined to say he did…

Oh well, at least he has the coolest villain song!

Also, knowing my love for charismatic antagonists with a tragic backstory, maybe it’s best for me that they didn’t explore that further and just let him apparently irremediably lose himself. Had they decided to “save” him, even partially, or give the audience more reasons to feel sorry for him, I fear I could really have spiraled out of control :’)

[theretirementstory]

28/07/2024. Bonjour à tous, am I glad to see the weekend, when I can relax! I was at Paris on Monday, Troyes to see the cardiologist on Wednesday and for a transfusion at Troyes on Thursday afternoon. There were two pieces of good news, no lymphoma in my bone marrow 😁 and I don’t have to see the cardiologist again until next year 😁😁. Everything else is still the same but the doctor did say it was too early for the new treatment to be effective.

This coming week it’s another three days of hospital visits, two of which are to Paris! Not only will I have transfusions on Monday but I will also be having my third round of treatment. Hope they give me a bed as I think I will be snoozing a lot of the time.

A young driver took me for my appointment on Wednesday (he’s about 25 years old), he always plays great tracks in the taxi, Supertramp, that sort of thing. Well he only played this song: “Come And Get Your Love” by Redbone. As I quietly sang along I wondered what year it was released, thinking to myself not that far back really. It was released in 1974, that nearly blew my socks off! Have a listen to it, it’s stuck in my head now. My second song for this music spot was one I could hear playing in the background of the Olympic Opening Ceremony, it was from the Europop section and although the commentator was talking all over it, I was still transported to holidays and particularly discos. The year this song was released was 1980, it’s “Spacer” by Sheila & B Devotion.

I asked Monique to do the bulk of my shopping and Anie bought my fruit and vegetables. Anie has also been and collected my prescription. It’s great to have such good friends and I was happy to have lots of tasty food. I hope my body appreciated the fish/chicken/vegetables and fruit I have been feeding it 😂.

Oh my goodness I took the plunge and messaged my cleaning lady to see if she had a couple of hours free. Horror of horrors she didn’t and also said that she was having health problems of her own. Now what am I going to do? Accept the offer from Monique or see if my friends know any other person. I have already mentioned it to Anie.

I must just rectify an omission from last weeks blog, “The Trainee Solicitor” sat an exam at the course he did at the University. He said at the time he hoped he had done enough to pass it and he obviously had! Great result passing the exam, just checks to be made and then he will be a fully fledged Solicitor. I remember my godmother telling me it was years of hard work to attain that position and he has put in the time and effort. Well done that man!

“The Recovery Coordinator” started her working week with a severe migraine! Not a good way to start, then she had a couple of nightmarish days at work, that doesn’t help either. After spending some time with my grandchildren and their Daddy this weekend she was going to catch up with the Olympics. It’s the F1 from Spa-Francorchamps today, a circuit I would have liked to visit. Don’t think it’s on free to view tv so for me it will be the Olympics (once I have prepared myself for tomorrow).

“The Photographer” has had his children for one week of their summer holidays. My granddaughter attended a football day, she gave it a thumbs up but when asked if she wanted to go the following day she said no. They attended a local football match (grandson included) both wore ear defenders as the last time she went to a match she wanted to leave as it was too noisy. Fingers crossed they are having four nights in a camper van this week, it is greatly anticipated by the three of them and I think it will be a memorable experience.

“The Traînée Solicitor” was pleased to hear my health news as it means that he can come out and visit me. I did say that he has to be careful hugging me as I am only fragile now, hopefully he will remember that 😉. I am really excited about seeing him too, it’s been over a year. I had hoped to be visiting him but as we all know, life has a habit of throwing a curved ball occasionally.

The photographs this week are of a champagne village which has at its heart an amusement park, Nigloland.

My garden is very neglected but I am unable to get out there and sort it out. Looking back at photos of previous years it looked so lovely and I am hoping that it will again.

The car has only been moved out of the garage once in the last goodness knows how many months. I would like to bring it out today but as it is more than two days since my last transfusion I had better leave it until I get back from Paris on Tuesday.

I have finished crocheting the blanket, I think it will do for a new baby and as a pram blanket (do people still buy prams?)

I am having a clear out of bedding, and clothes that no longer fit me. I think I will let go of some jumpers and t shirts too. I bought a few new clothes last year but they too are too big for me now. I really need some new shoes but will have to wait for those I think.

As it is a busy day for me, I think I had better make a start!

Have a good week until next week 😁.

[knownangels]

paid promo

wc: 4.5k

Saha has that song stuck in her head. The one she had first listened to a week ago, in a business meeting. Then, it’d been raw; underproduced. Still  with enough soul the right beat could take it somewhere great. 

She blinks up at the ceiling. Fuckin’ hell, I sound like — 

Her cringe is so severe her eyes scrunch fully shut. The view of the spackled ceiling disappears, along with the strange stain in the left-most corner.  She’d meant to say something about that, earlier. You oughta get that spot checked. Looks like it could be a mold bloom, love. 

Earlier. Before they got to — this point. 

It’s a concentrated effort to unscrew her awful expression. As a kid, Saha had been taught a sure-fire way to go to sleep. Tense up all your muscles, close your eyes, and relax each muscle one-by-one. Focus on feeling it. 

She starts to do that, just out of habit. The shoulders wedged between her thighs jerk. 

“Shit—p”

“I’m not—”

Saha pulls herself back at the same moment as her hookup. They stare at each other for a winding moment. The longer it goes, the more she feels ashamed heat crawl up the back of her neck. She blushes; the rim of heat touches beneath her eyes. 

Quickly, she untwists her fingers from between Grace’s and cradles her own cheeks.

“It really fucks me up that you seem so into it and then —“ Grace waves a hand between them. “It’s literally this every time. I’m not trying to be shitty, Saha. I know how that sounds, okay?”

Saha covers her eyes instead, sighing. “I get it,” she assures Grace. They’ve been friends four years now, with occasional benefits for most of that; she knows Grace doesn’t mean it how it admittedly sounds. She has never been anything but an honest and respectful communicator, even if she could be a bit blunt. 

Saha stiffens and then rubs her fists hard enough colors burst in the dark. Fuckin’ hell. No wonder this shit keeps happening. Where is your brain, idiot? Some very nice head won’t even shut it off long enough to cum? 

“It’s—“

“Mindset.” Grace responds with a slick eye roll. Saha always thought they looked so cool doing that. Naturally above it or humored in a way that wasn’t put on at all. When Saha rolled her eyes, she looked unattractively petulant.

Grace rolls off the bed, collecting their shirt off the floor. They toss satin into Saha’s lap at the same time. She needs to put lotion on; when she catches the dress she’d worn to go out, her fingers catch the fabric. 

“I get it,” Grace repeats. Saha can’t quite tell if it’s mocking or not. They hold up their hands. “I’m not pressuring, I’m not mad. I just would prefer to feel wanted while I fuck somebody, fair?” 

Saha nods. “Fair.”

Grace fans their hands out with a shrug. There, was that so hard? “I’m showering first. I’ll send you off with Thai if you ring it, but you are going home.” 

With that, they pad out of the bedroom and down the hall. Their footsteps echo a bit; Grace was into the whole minimalist thing now. Just their latest in aesthetic noncommittal. 

Saha frowns at that, staring up at that off-white spot in the corner with her arms angel spread into the sheets. Can focus on the interior design choices in flat’s not even yours, and you can’t fucking — stupid. 

*

She smiles at the rideshare driver and approaches the passenger door slowly, holding her phone out for the other girl to see the app home screen: her beaming, prettily-made up face, a few emojis, and a standard quip as her bio. 

The girl, maybe twenty-three at most, widens her eyes. “No. Oh my God, I follow you.” 

Saha smile doesn’t falter. And even though it burns her eyes, she refuses the urge to blink — with this grin, she’d look unhinged. Instead, she puts on a pleasantly bashful tone. 

“Really? That’s so nice.” 

The girls’ brow pulls in slightly, a little drop to the corner of her mouth. 

Fuck. Saha thinks. Sounded insincere, hey? Wonderful, Saha. really. 

When the girl drops her at the entrance to her gated flat community, the car idles with wet red rear eyes fixed on Saha. She stands there, hand paused where it delves halfway into her bag.

Then those red eyes blink off and the car peels away down the street. It comes close to splashing a couple at the bottom of the hill. They laugh swears in unison; neither looks away from the other as they jump to dodge the spray, clutch each other, and giggle before moving along.

Saha’s phone ping. She glances down at it.

Andrea has rated you!

Her phone pings again.

Your average trip rating has gone down -.75 stars. Your average is now 4.25.

She rolls her eyes. 

In the bathroom mirror that night, she debates on the number of slight mounds rising on her cheek; she had tried a new moisturizer for a collaboration, and now she was dealing with the beginning of what was likely to be a nasty breakout. 

Wind-down stories. Three slides max: it’s late enough engagement falls with the nine-to-five business demo. Add those sponsor candles, two bird one stone with a face mask to damage-control. And you can make sure Tuesday’s no-makeup-makeup advert doesn’t have to get spackled on the surface of the fucking moon.

Saha smiles at herself in the mirror. Her left cheek doesn’t pull quite as high. She imagines that muscle tensing and loosening. If a level could be taken to her top lip, would the bubble be centered? 

She leans away from the mirror, palms to cold tile, and frowns. Then she rolls her eyes. 

Still petulant. 

*

Her dates the next few weeks die off in similar fashion. Her inbox is mostly dried-up conversations; the only two serious (and weirdo-vetted) matches had ghosted her after one date each. Granted, both had been agonizing sessions of twin dysfunction and insistence to keep going, almost there. 

One of her girlfriends — of the platonic type — urged her to give it a rest for a bit. Not out of denial, but the insistence that putting the pressure was only adding to her mindset problem. ‘Who cares how long it’s been? You’ll only psych yourself out thinking about that!’ 

I care, Ines. I care very fucking much how long it’s been.

How much she cares becomes painfully obvious during that time, when Saha has little to occupy her other than work. She likes to date — she’s good at dating, finds meeting people fun. Maybe stereotypically, a lot of her closest friends had started as a match on an app or at throwback night at the club. She and Grace had met at a campy Kate Bush drag act. 

It isn’t necessarily an excuse for why she ends up lingering on one of Tess’s Instagram stories. And she doesn’t want to make it seem like the draw is only from a source of loneliness or strikes out elsewhere;  from what little she knows, Tess is better than that. 

Not that Saha would know. Twice now she’s chickened out on the visit to that restaurant. She has a permanent outline of the building’s fine angles and big windows, the reflection of water in smooth glass, from looking the address up online so often. Sometimes when she’s in line at the club or waiting on a package label to print, she looks up its reviews. Scrolls through them, scowls at the nasty ones (few), smiles at the glowing recommendations (many).  

It’s a bit weird, isn’t it? But no — Tess is close enough to her she can care about something like that. My little brother’s partner’s sister? My sister in law? 

Saha winces. 

*

She ends up in Seattle, only a little guilty for the overly-warm message sent asking after things like schedules and busy seasons and big catering events. 

They go back and forth a bit, like that. Just for a few weeks. Proper, polite, somewhat detached chatter back and forth. About the boys, at first —did you see that picture Xavier sent. Then Tess sends her a video, an event invite hosted at the restaurant that Saha leaves on read —

“Listen,” her final straw in the form of a Saturday evening wine date sighs. “You’re really hot. But I need literally anything. Something.” 

Saha sits upright. She’d been staring at the ceiling (a different flat, a different person, no stain, still finding patterns in the paint job rather than focus on the task at hand). When she drops her eyes to the other woman, she blinks. 

“Why is it always really hot?” Saha asks her.

“Huh? I mean, isn’t that—“ 

“Right, yeah. Thanks. Appreciate it.” Saha waves a hand between them. She folds her arms over her bare knees. They’re chilly to the touch; her date leaves their room too cold, and the chill was part of the reason Saha hadn’t been able to fucking focus. 

“I mean, why hot?”

“Because—“

“‘Cuz, I’m watching this new series of a show I adore, yeah.” She drops both feet to the floor, digging black-painted toes into the rug clumps. “And the love interest, she’s always going oh, you’re lovely and sweet.” 

Her date stares at her. 

“You said hot. Not lovely. Or sweet.” Saha frowns. “Not that I need to hear anybody say that. But — aren’t I? Why’s it always that?” 

There’s a beat of silence before her date stands, posted at the foot of her bed with knuckles on her bare hips. “I was really happy you wanted to come out with me, Saha. And then you made me take a different way here in my own car because one of the streets had a pothole and you wouldn't stop worrying about me fucking the transmission.” 

“I don’t see why you’re bringing this up.” Saha mumbles, the lie slippery on her tongue. An embarrassed blush once again heats her cheeks. 

Her date leans over and kisses her cheek. “You’re really high strung. And hot. And, uh, I think you should probably reflect on that first part.”

*

Saha does not fucking reflect on anything. The second her own flat door’s slammed shut behind her (scuffed with a black rubber-mark that she’ll get on hands and knees to wipe off later), her phone is open to an airline. She charges the ticket to her personal card, rather than from her business account. 

She’s got no idea why she does that. 

*

Seattle is wet. It smells different than London, wet. Similarly metallic and biological, but different. She sort of imagined it would be better than what is is — another clogged city. Doesn’t even have the audacity to smell like the gorgeous pines blanketing it. 

She knows the address, and fortunately when the door swings open for her the place isn’t too packed. The hostess is a teenager with pretty, but red-ringed, eyes. In her head, a picture of a stressed student barely balancing grades and a job and friends forms.

“Hi,” the girl says with a peppery, high-toned voice. “Do you need a menu?” 

“I need—“ Saha glances around the pillar that separates the entrance and dining area. “Oh, this is going to make me sound like a dickhead, so I’m sorry. I’m here to see Tess.” 

The girl’s eyebrows shoot up. “The owner? Um. I don’t think really takes, like, media things?” 

Tess nods, smiles in a way she hopes sticks normal to her face. “No, I totally get it. Here, look. I’ve got — she wanted me to come do a review—“

“Is that your dog?”

Saha pulls her phone screen back towards her own face, where her scrolling through messages with Tess has paused on a picture of Opal. 

“Yes,” Saha says with a laugh. “You want to see more?” 

“Yes.”He hostess whispers back, tossing two looks over her shoulders. “This shift manager is such an asshole though, make it quick.” She squeals delightedly at the next video Saha scrolls past. “Oh my God, precious! Okay, fine. Consider me bribed. Stay right here.”

The interior of the restaurant is modern, but not cold; stylish, just not chic. Plenty of reviewers and articles have mentioned the decor being one of the downsides to the restaurant, but Saha disagrees. It’s…sweet, really. Unique and homey — messy, what the stick-arsed food critics had decided on. There are posters from and adverts for local bands and art exhibitions framed along the walls. Behind the till, a showcase of a local high school’s international pen pal art exchange. Report cards, letters in envelopes, band flyers — the walls, actually, are so full that things overlap. Saha wonders if Benji’s been here yet, if he likes seeing the sharp curves of hand drawn punk bands. 

Saha’s staring at one when the swing door to the kitchen slaps against the wall. She turns to look, fingers clutched comfortingly around her crossed wrists, and its — 

Well, it’s a Wolffe. That’s for sure. 

Saha lifts a hand, two fingers raised in greeting. She worries her smile might be too reserved. But where that concern passes over her like an anxious bubble about to burst (what if I say this wrong, do this wrong, what if they don’t like me, she doesn’t like me?), Tess looks the complete opposite. 

At first, actually, she looks confused. Saha can only imagine what her teenage hostess had described to her. She probably used the word influencer. That would certainly contribute to the confusion — but it lasts only a second. Then Tess’s face splits into a massive smile she recognizes.

“Hullo,” Saha calls, offering another little wave before she feels stupid and drops her hand. “Uh. I’m really sorry to crash in. I was finally in town—“

Lie.

“Oh my God! You finally showed!” 

She moves swiftly around the counter, wiping wet hands on a white rag she tucks back into a pocket on her apron. It’s mostly pristine, except for what look like a few skins of carrot. Tess glances down and brushes them off, her grin going sheepish. 

“You didn’t even warn me—“

“Sorry!” Saha laughs, too. “It was a…well, honestly. It was a spur of the moment thing.”

They’re smiling at each other for a beat, right then. No speaking, no noise aside the distance clatter from the kitchen. Someone sat out at the patio listening to music too loud. The quiet shuffle of waiters to the few full tables, the chatter of a loyal crowd at an unpopular time. 

“I thought I was going to have to pitch it to you.” Tess blurts. “Like, little old restaurant, we’re not good enough for—“

“Stop!” 

“I can’t!” Tess whisper-yells back at her. She reaches out to close her hands around Saha’s arms, shake her. “Oh fuck! You actually showed up. I have to make you something.”

Saha glances around. “Only if you’re not too busy. And I’ll pay.” 

Tess’s face goes stony, her eyes dead serious. “Over my fucking corpse.” 

*

There’s still a bit of a rush for Tess to get through, so Saha ends up in a secluded corner. There’s a few news clippings tucked under the glass of her table, which she reads while sipping at a glass of wine she probably could have forgone. Each of the stories seems to be about a local kid — Seattle or Boston, the quantity of accomplishments split evenly between the two. There’s a story behind all the memorabilia, and Saha’s starting to put it together. 

Especially when she picks up the menu and discovers there is only one category under which everything is listed: comfort food. 

Eventually Tess quiets the meager rush of customers; Saha can hear her herding cats, as close as she is to the swinging kitchen doors. She’s never worked in a kitchen before, unlike her mum. Even just the thought of it makes her want to puke. All those mistakes to make. All the pressure. 

When Tess returns to her table, she hooks a booted foot around the chair leg and practically throws herself down into the seat.

“Long day?” Saha prompts, chin propped in her palm. Tess looks glowy, rather than sweaty — but she does smell like some strange mixture of ingredients that Saha isn’t sure go together. Perils of the job, and all that.

“Sort of.” Tess responds dutifully, shrugging. Her smile goes a bit wicked then. “It just recently got better.”

She isn’t sure what to say to that, other than huff politely. Other than — not watch when Tess leans back, body stretched long, to untie the apron from around her waist. Other than blink, other than turn her head away. 

Don’t fuck up, something sinister in her chest bubbles out. You’d make it awkward. You’d ruin Benji’s good thing. 

I’m not going to do anything but be very cordial and polite with Xavier’s sister. Saha is fully aware she’s got two voices in her head, snipping back and forth. She is also, unfortunately, totally unable to stop them. 

“Did you want to—“

“I had a question about—“

Tess’s teeth show again; she covers them with a pale palm, eyebrows raised. No, you. 

Saha rolls her wrist. “Go on, then.” 

Red eyebrows hitch up. The ends are lighter, almost white; she wonders how long ago Tess had bleached them. “Hm?”

She repeats that motion. “G’on.” 

Tess smiles a little, chin tilting. “G’on. That’s cute. I was tempted to make you go first, but that was like. Absolutely distracting. G’on. Elaborate so I can do literally whatever you ask.”

Saha’s lips part on a tiny breath. “Ah. Shameless.”She chides teasingly (fuck, don’t flirt back, Saha). Saha clears her throat. “Anyway — you said. You said you could pitch it, right? So pitch it.” 

“Huh?” 

God, but she looks cute confused. Saha steels herself quite bravely. “Sell the restaurant to me, Wolffe.”

Tess has the audacity to tinge her smile sheepish. “Oh. Okay. Well —”

Saha watches, perhaps a bit too rapt, as the head chef adopts a posture fit for her. Tess goes from someone you might mistake for a particularly cheeky bartender, knowledgeable and expert without the optimism of a restaurateur, to the owner. It’s the pride, Saha decides. Earnest and obvious, the secret ingredient of the establishment’s success has to found in that sweet charisma. 

And if Saha thought that was rosy-colored enough, she hadn’t been prepared for the actual pitch.

“Well, you saw the menus. All snacks? Like, nothing heavy. That was the whole point. Everything is based off some iconic snack food. But nothing corporate, right? We don’t do — fucking—“ Tess makes a disgusted face, and Saha stifles a laugh behind her hand. “I don’t know, orange cheddar organic cheese crispy triangles.” 

“Doritos is the first thing that comes to mind?” Saha twists in her stool, peers over each shoulder. “I thought this was a respectable establishment with worldly staff.”

Tess’s cheeks are pink. “Watch it.” 

“Right, right. GO on. Nothing corporate.”

Tess nods. The color doesn’t fade. “Right, nothing corporate. Anyway. We’ll do things like, dunno. Recreate those cheap veggie party platters you’d get in grocery stores. Or, hm, we have roasted chickpeas. Onigiri. Everything is basically from me or one of the other team’s childhood. Health, wildly unhealthy. Steve, our dishwasher? We have the marshmallow peanut butter sablé cookies because his mom would make him marshmallow peanut butter sandwiches for lunch.”

“That sounds incredibly American, actually.” 

When Tess laughs, she puts her whole body into it. “Oh my God. It super fucking is, isn’t it?”

Saha smiles a little distantly. “My mum used to do toast pizzas for us. With this specific — well, it’s a tomato chili sauce. And she’d throw whatever cheese we had left, and veggie scraps —“

“And you had probably like, the best pizza ever to your kid brain.” 

She nods. Tess mirrors it, excitedly leaning forward. 

“That’s exactly the point. And we’ve got, like, community weekends. We’ll put out a blast for people to come in and give us suggestions and sometimes they get added to the menu. Our special board is a weekly rotation from background. There’s a decent Vietnamese community a few blocks down, so we had people tell us what their favorites were. We’ll do these really good rolls, basically, of sesame seed and coconut and rice paper —“ 

Saha’s hand brushes up her throat. She’s perplexed by the sudden lump in it for only a moment. Then she realizes the source of the emotion: that passion. It was the same food passion her mum had, the same Benji had picked up. Tess, she guessed, was someone who had food centered for her in some way. Based on what she knows about their upbringing from Xavier (and plenty of nosy assumptions), Saha figures that introduction happened outside their home. 

She imagines Tess as a toothy, charming kid. Wide-eyed at a plate she didn’t recognize, but eager to try. 

“What should I get?”

Tess tucks her arms behind her back, adopting a professional posture that seems almost uncharacteristic to the woman Saha (if only slightly) knows. 

“Well, if you want to start I would recommend—“ 

Saha snorts. Tess cuts herself off, eyebrows up. “No, I mean. What would you make? What would you get?” 

* 

It’s the right or wrong question to ask, depending. 

She eats so much Saha suspects she might be slumped over in the booth, when Tess finds her again. 

“Satisfied?” 

Saha blinks up at her, eyes glossy from the carbs and late hour. “I took so many pictures, I am so sorry. All I was doing was sitting here, eating your food, taking pictures.”

When Tess tucks her hands behind her back, rocking slightly on her heels, Saha’s fucking skull buzzes. “Aw, shucks. I mean. I’ll take that as a positive review? And endorsement?” She picks up a few plates. “But, um. I’m letting the kids go early since it’s a game day.  If you want —only if you want — I’ll save a few slices of this weekend’s dessert.”

Saha’s turn to raise her brows expectantly.

Tess clears her throat, gaze bouncing off to the side. “The office is down the hall, past the catering closet—“

“Oh, special treatment?” 

She means for it to be lighthearted. A funny jab. But Tess only holds her stare, green eyes so intense where they hold Saha’s that she nearly feels it. 

“Yeah,” Tess breathes, or whispers, or promises, really. 

Saha strands abruptly, her knee knocking against the side of the table. “I’ll meet you there. I just — I need to get air. Ate too much.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Saha stumbles backwards, swearing under her breath. “Oh for —okay. Okay. It was so good, Tess, really. Such good food.”

“G’on!” Tess mocks, flapping both her hands. “I’ll get forks.” 

*

Their plates are long empty by the time their conversation slows, the dainty and once-moist yellow cake crumbs dry and stuck to paper. They were boxed caked cookies, as Tess referred to them lovingly, except with none of the pre-packing.  A simply modified recipe the Wolffe matriarch would make often for dessert — because it was quick and cheap. Just two eggs and some oil. Saha has never had those in originality, so Tess’s fine dining twist immediately move to her number one spot.

A lot of the foods tonight have shattered Saha’s lists and records. She has no idea where to start with the review they’ve been teasing about. If she even wants to write it at all. It’s not egotistical for her to be concerned about the state of the place after Saha blasts it to her following. Sometimes, she goes back to places she’s visited and found that the fame and online traction had made everything worse.

I got a nice cupcake lady doxxed. Saha admits silently, staring at a crumb on Tess’s chin while she offers an animated narration to a recent local restaurant drama. I got a food truck shut down over a silly code ruling that people reported becuase of the increase in business. 

“I’ve got to go,” Saha finally hedges once Tess’s latest story has wrapped. She lifts her watch and turns it so the other woman can see. “Tess, fuckin’ hell? We’ve been at it four hours now. When do you open?”

Tess opens and closes her mouth a few times. “Um. Early. For brunch.” 

“Shit!” She slaps her forehead a bit too hard (another glass of maybe-shouldn’t wine had paired with dessert nicely). They both giggle at the noise;  Tess snatches up her hand and holds it still. 

“Jesus, don’t literally beat yourself up? This was great. This was so fun. It’s worth like, four hours of sleep. I’m glad—“

“Oh, don’t.” Saha pleads, waving her hand in the air. She’s a little tipsy and the sentimental sway of the conversation will make her rebalance with tears. “Oh, don’t be nice.”

Tess squeezes her hand. “I’m serious. I’m so glad you came. I’m glad you got to see it — I’m glad —“

They both pause. Tess chews on her lip, palm lingering its gentle cup around Saha’s knuckles. 

“I’m really glad Benji, you know. I’m glad your brother has someone like you.” Tess is looking at her that way. Saha leans back in the chair with tremendous effort. The office is small, compared to the rest of Tess’s gorgeous establishment; it houses not much more than a desk, some record shelves, and the two uncomfortable spinning office chairs they perch in. The space feels even smaller, now that Saha is aware she’s being…observed.

“Yeah,” she says around that lump in her throat. “Yeah, me too. I mean — I’m glad Xavier —“

“I know.” Tess laughs. She pumps Saha’s hand firmly like it’s their first time meeting. “We should do this more.”

No. No, definitely not.

“Okay,” Saha says instead. “Can. Sorry if this is strange. I know, right, that — I mean. I really appreciate all this. You staying after. And being a good host. And I’m glad we can do this, right? Get along.”

Tess stares at her. she looks as though she wants to stand. Wants to pace. 

So Saha rises first; before she realizes what she’s doing, her arms spread. “If you’re not a hugger…”

Tess barrels into her, arms winding tight around Saha’s waist before she’s squeezed nearly in half.

*

Once she’s back home, Saha finds a local Seattle florist online. She sends along a thank-you arrangement, which seems the least she can do: strands of gorgeous green pine, alpine strawberry leaves, and dainty camas. She isn’t sure what they all mean — but the florist was local, the way Tess appreciated, and the flowers were too, and — and it felt fitting, saying thank you. For more than just a meal. 

The weekend after her present is delivered, Saha stands in uncomfortably tall heels at a gallery showing. Right as she’s nearly sucked into another inane high society bit of chatter, her phone goes off.

Tess has posted a new picture of the restaurant; it’s a magazine clipping of a news piece. In the background, each of those memory-plastered tables has been topped with a familiar bouquet.

Saha rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling.

[bereft-of-frogs]

Ok I have deleted the tiktok. This has been an interesting year long anthropological study of the tiktok. My findings (written so as to make it scientific):

- my forecast was mostly correct but happening at a much faster pace than I predicted. I expect we’ll have fully cycled through again by the end of January

- it is seriously addictive. I already feel myself instinctively going to click on it, nope it’s gone. I don’t want to know how much time I’ve wasted on it this year.

- i could also literally feel it shortening my attention span. I do not need to break my brain any further, I really need it to slow down

- speaking of breaking my brain, the sheer amount of untagged, out of nowhere, casual suicidal ideation I really do not think was healthy for me 😬

- also the sounds would get ‘stuck in my head’ like songs, which can’t be anything good. Like with vine sure if something sparked the memory yeah, I’d think of the vine. Like if you saw a ‘road work ahead’ you’d be like ‘yeah I sure hope it does’. But even from the start I found myself getting stuck in loops. I couldn’t watch it in bed because the sounds would get stuck in my head and keep me up. That…seems bad.

- there is some content I will miss but also I think I’m ok getting that content through YouTube compilations or two weeks later on Instagram reels

- piling on, aka why I quit in November: look even if the OP is objectively wrong or annoying does not mean we need every single person to chime in to dunk on them. You have just given OP a much bigger platform than they had originally. And even if I were sympathetic to the cause originally, now than I’ve seen it a hundred times, I’m annoyed.

- so many stolen posts. So many. Verbatim tumblr posts. At least when other social media sites steal posts they usually leave in the credit, or at least the format shows it’s from another site, tiktok users just read posts like a script and act like they came up with it all by themselves, what is with that

Anyway, goodbye tiktok, now I have to spend 2023 fixing my brain, thanks for the memories