#this started as a quick fun-fact post but ended up a long rambling

[wordsinhaled]

hi there! I started following you after seeing your essay-long answers to DBD things in tags, and it made me very happy to see someone as deeply analytical as me about this show.

I wanted to ask you: if you were given the final say, how would you want the show to confirm both Charles' bisexuality and his romantic feelings towards Edwin (as both can be done at different points)?

Personally, I can't get the idea out of my head that it will be done with some kind of tragic goodbye, somehow Charles and Edwin have to separate, and Charles either verbally confirms it or kisses Edwin goodbye. Not saying that's what I want, but it's what I expect the writers to do.

Hope you're having a good day.

btw, would love to hear you talk more about timerogue (Fifteen/Rogue), I need more essay-long analysis about those two.

Hi there! <3 I am so happy you have enjoyed my tag rambles! And thank you so much for asking this great question, I had a lot of fun thinking through it!

I have many thoughts on this! Sticking them under a cut eventually because it is a long post!

Re: Charles' bisexuality: So the thing is I think that the DBDA universe generally seems to eschew labels in favor of showing rather than telling the audience what the characters' identities are. For example Jenny is interested in dating women, which is clear from her dialogue, and she goes on a date with Maxine, but she's never labeled anything. Edwin is never labeled anything by anyone in the narrative, either, but the narrative shows us that his only love interests and his desires and romantic feelings are for other boys. I would argue that we have been shown textually that Charles is bi, already, the same way the show shows-not-tells us other things. Charles by the end of the first season feels bi enough to me in a way that just feels like someone... living a bi life, and not yet realizing they might in fact be in love back with their best friend. I don't know how else to put it but I hope that makes sense. (My alternate, slightly sappier version of canon is that Charles fell for Edwin the first night, but has shoved it down for the duration of their friendship, but the former feels more likely as the direction I think we see on screen.) We are being told Charles is bi:

In the way Charles himself draws parallels between why he likes Crystal (his romantic love interest) and Edwin, pointing out they share the exact same traits

In the way he gives Crystal and Edwin the same genre of deep, loving gaze

In the way he thinks Crystal is fit, and he checks Edwin out, on multiple occasions, but only flirts with Edwin overtly in episode 8 ("My smile is pretty convincing," plus more than the usual amount of physical touch/proximity and less plausible deniability) once he can be assured by Edwin's recent confession that doing so will not be poorly received

In the different kinds of softness and masculinity he displays around both Crystal and Edwin

In the way that, despite not knowing the ending, he draws a parallel between himself and Edwin & a pair of lovers from classical mythology as though it is the most natural thing in the world to bring up the story of Orpheus & Eurydice, making overt the romantic potential of his relationship with Edwin

In the way he is so quick to write off that the two jocks were "just best mates" the way a person does when they are recognizing their own queerness in themselves and have to keep themselves safe from it, because of the environment that they are in (Charles being the Sports Lad, needing to fit in with other sports lads, and needing to avoid the censure/violence of his father)

And coming off the above, in the way that Charles navigates along the toughness-sensitivity spectrum within the social constructs of being "the brawn"

In the entire sparring scene in episode 1, tbh. The rituals are very intricate /drops mic

I understand the importance that's been placed by fandom spaces on "confirmed canon" queerness that is spelled out in so many words, given a label that can be pointed to to say "This character is definitely this!" but I think (and this is just my personal opinion) it can be reductive sometimes, and I don't really want Charles to label himself in that kind of way, just as much as I don't think the other characters needed the labels to "confirm" the queerness of their relationships or indeed of the show; having him be the one to do it for being bi would set him apart. I also think taking into account the time period that he grew up in, Charles would care more about living by the truth of how he feels and how he can use those feelings to connect with the one he loves, than what to call it. I just don't think we're gonna get like a "Hello my name is Charles Rowland and I am a verified bisexual"-type scene in season 2, and I think that's okay, and I don't really think that's the way for the show to 'confirm' it. Mind you I would love to see Charles talk about how it makes him feel to realize his feelings, and how his feelings for Edwin are different compared to how other people make him feel, because god, I love Charles so much and I just know such a scene would both destroy and heal me. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, CHARLES <3

I think it says something really important that many, many, many people took one look at Charles Rowland and said: "Oh, he's bi." Not like... he has bi energy, or could plausibly be bi, or whatever; for so many people he just resonated as being bi, in a very organic way. (I know there are people who do read Charles as being straight/having rejected Edwin in s1, and I respect that, but they probably will not like my ideas about Charles very much, then, tbh.)

For what it's worth, though, Jayden's acting choices playing Charles, and the way Jayden (and George) have addressed the 'straight best friend Charles' line of questioning during interviews, both make it seem to me that Jayden is intentionally playing Charles as bi and we are already supposed to understand this for what it is, based on Charles' actions—just as we understand similar things about other characters inner worlds we are shown. Whether Charles is consciously aware of it yet is more the up-for-debate part to me, personally. It's like he is dancing right on the edge of the revelation, or something, but his actions (and his EYES) are speaking for him pretty loudly already.

As for how he confirms it more obviously? Hmm. Well, I'll admit i think a kiss between them would be lovely, if only because I think it would quite possibly be the Most Kiss a kiss could be, with all of Charles' tenderness and adoration for Edwin poured into it. I also think it would be in-character, given Charles canonically misses kissing, and wants to do it with people he's interested in romantically (see Crystal).

Charles struggles with being able to admit romantic feelings out loud because he is scared of his own capacity to hurt Edwin; after all the only example of "romantic" love he has seen was his parents' marriage. Charles is a person who acts first, thinks later, but in this process of understanding what he feels for Edwin he's taking his time and being the opposite of impulsive. This shows how important his relationship to Edwin is to him and his commitment to Getting It Right. Even with that deliberateness, though, I think it would still be easier for him to express himself through a tangible action like a kiss than through words—at least at first.

It reminds me of this scene from the first draft of Maurice between Maurice and Alec. Alec is struggling to verbalize his feelings for Maurice, although he does know he feels them. He can say other things, but naming love for what it is is the challenge; and in the end they use a shared memory of a time Alec showed his love through actions (running through the rosebushes just to see Maurice's face) to communicate and mutually understand their love for each other. Similarly, Charles finds it difficult to admit a deep romantic love aloud, but his actions speak louder, in his determination to retrieve Edwin from hell ("There's no one else—no one else—I would go to hell for") and he can allude to the romantic implications of the act, by referencing the Orpheus & Eurydice myth. It similarly becomes, I may not be able to say the words, but you and I both know the lengths i would go to for you.

Maurice : "I love you, sir be damned." Alec: "Maurice"—never before had the word been spoken—"you're an angel." Maurice: "I don't want to hear that." Alec: "Maurice, Maurice" his voice failed also; he had once said the rest to a woman. "Maurice - what you've said I feel. Understand?" M: "I think so, but I want to be sure. Remember those rose bushes in the other rain? - Look at me hard - That's right. That'll do. It's settled."

As far as the catalyst for Charles revealing his feelings... a tragic goodbye—gosh, as heartbreakingly compelling as I know seeing George and Jayden act that out would be (I know they would crush it), I really hope the writers don't do that to them! The thing about Payneland that is so refreshing to me is how they manage to subvert trope expectations and break out of the tragic narratives they are placed in, and I think they would ultimately defy any attempt at separation. As Edwin says, "I will make sure that doesn't happen," about them ever being split up. I am rooting for a happily ever after for them, because they have both been through enough, and have fought tooth and nail to stay together.

Steve Yockey has mentioned potentially having Desire of the Endless cameo on the show and I also think having them and Charles interact would be a fascinating way to bring to light some of the deep-rooted stuff Charles struggles with around love (and would nicely parallel Edwin's experience with the Cat King which catalyzed his Charles-feelings realization). I also like the idea of the team maybe meeting a couple during a case who parallel Edwin and Charles and are romantically involved. Seeing that would allow Charles to externalize the way he feels for Edwin by seeing it reflected back to him by other people; sometimes things are easier to pick up on in others than in ourselves. I think that would be a fun way to get him to see what's been there under the surface for some time :)

Oh my god this got so long asfhlgkjhg SORRY

(I'm sure the Doccy Who fixation will come back in time for the Christmas special! :D)

[elsa-fogen]

So uhhh quick question what would you do if you wanted to finish something (an art cough cough) but everytime you tried to finish it, your motivation just keeps flicking in and out and made you have a hard time finishing it and almost made you wanna give up and leave it unfinished?

Sorry for the long question but i have SO many unfinished drawings that i want to post so bad but couldn't for sum reason 😭

And you're the only artist so far that i know almost post around every 3-5 days

You don't have to answer this but can you pls give me youtube art tutorials that help you?

So very sorry for disturbing you 😅

i'm not the best person to ask for advice, honestly. Maybe it'll sound too prideful, but i consider myself a really special case. I don't hate myself and my art (mostly), i don't suffer while drawing, and i've never had an "art block" in my life. I've been drawing my whole life, and if you count all days when i didn't draw anything you'll get... well, maybe 2-3 years out of my 24. I think. so, anything i say may not be helpful.

Actually almost everything you see in my blog are just colored sketches, not finished art

woops haha

Maybe that'll work for you too? try to just color your sketches and post them as they are. When i realised that my works don't have to be fully finished, my life become much easier. And i was really surprised to find out how many people can enjoy my comics even if they're just sketches. Of course, comics with cool art and colors will get more attention, but in the end, you won't get any attention if you don't post anything. so i know for a fact that i can't pull out a fully rendered comic, and all i can do - just sketches, and in this case it's better to post at least them then post absolutely nothing. There will be people who enjoy them.

and very often stuff you did for fun has more attention then those things you spend much time and effort (like how my shitty meme got 10k notes out of nowhere)

but when i need to finish something i just make myself do it. Just breaking myself over a knee. And don't start anything else before it's done.

It helps when you have a date when the art should be finished, and consequences if it's not. Yeah.

And EXCUSE YOU, I ACTUALLY POST EVERY DAY! gee, no respect on this hellish site for my hard work /very much J

And i don't watch any art tutorials aha- i watch reactions or game playthroughs, or some blogger ramble about some cartoon while drawing.

so yeah, kinda messy, as all my text posts are... but hope it'll help you. Good luck with your art!

[lavenderr-starrs]

I’m sorry to my mutuals who are watching me like disappear for a week or a month and then reappear reblog stuff and post stuff from fandoms you’ve probably don’t even know about (A lot shit on my plate that’s been burning me out lmao! I’m fine though just been busy dw!! It’s nothing bad I promise even though it probably sounds like smth bad XD)

but I’m gonna make this post before I literally lose my marbles

It’s about twisted wonderland and Madoka magica so strap in fellas this is gonna be hella targeted to probably me and me alone and maybe like one other person

Anyways HEAVY AND I MEAN HEAVY SPOILERS FOR BOTH FRANCHISES and A REALLY LONG RAMBLE UNDER THE CUT LMAO

So don’t click keep reading if you havent finished or started either (ESPECIALLY MADOKA MAGICA, Trust me the show and movies are so good walking into blind I’d kill a man to watch it blindly again) also warning for potentially shit grammar incoming lol

First things first-

HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN SOMEONE NOTICE THE SIMILARITY BETWEEN OVERBLOTS AND WITCHES?

The similarities is the over-use of magic and negative energy polluting the energy source they use to performing these magical abilities turning them into abominations that go on a rampage and effecting the lives of those around them.

The difference though is that for witches, it’s specifically middle school girls who become witches and them becoming witches have the chances of causing world ending atrocities- and in the world of puella magi most Natural disasters are due to the fact a witch is the cause of those disasters and only incubators and other unsuspecting naive magical girl know of

Whereas in twisted wonderland *So far* we’ve only seen Teen high school boys overblot and that didn’t(Besides chapter 6 and 7) have any world ending consequences in my opinion

Says alot huh? XD

Anyways that’s a point I wanna get to another time

You know what I’d love to see? a reader-insert or just a yuu from puella magi in the world of twisted wonderland!

Now this is when I start getting real self-indulgent with this XD but I wanna see like a Homura!Yuu! :)

basically a reader-insert who takes the role of Homura Akemi, right?

And the entirety of the first anime happens and Madoka goes from a 14 year old girl who made a wish to save a cat from dying by unknowingly trading her soul to become a magical girl as an energy source to a higher being

to end up becoming an omnipotent concept that saves magical girls when their gems over pollute and are about to become witches

But instead of the Rebellion Arc happening and Homura!Yuu becoming a witch and demon and all that pizazz! let’s say they “try” to keep going and just Bans themselves from going back in time again and trying to go forward for Madokamis sake and deals with those weird wraith things in the new universe

and maybe a little cherry on top they try to learn and expand the magic abilities Yuus other magical girl friends had.

Later on we move to let’s say, 17 Year old Homura!Yuu, and guess what? You’ve been isekaid bestie have fun!

During the prologue introduction, when Homura!Yuu wakes up into the coffin grim doesn’t get a moment to even open the coffin as you just kick it open ready to transform believing this is some form of a witches labyrinth and are ready to jump into a bunch of conclusions

Now, in comes a poor unsuspecting Grimm

And the first thing Homura!Yuu does upon notice of him? The same thing Homura did to Bebe in rebellion-

just one Quick grasp onto his neck and just instantly slamming him into the nearest wall before he could even say a word. Questions being shot left and right over this potential Witch-like being or a being that seems to be similar combination of a witches Familiar+ Kyubey. A thought you do not like the sound of.

Grim is quite fairly, terrified out of his mind (I’m sorry my son) But! Lucky for him in comes the headmaster to witness this display of aggression! And school hasn’t even begun yet! The nerve!

Now this can go from here in Multiple ways, but for now, how id see it going is Crowley using his whip to tie up Homura!Yuu and just yoinks up a scared grim similar to what Mami did in rebellion

you’re only reaction to this is “Ah shit, here we go again.”

Now I can see Crowley ends up kicking Grim away still since you’ll obviously deny any association with him and just questions Crowley like there’s no tomorrow and just like in canon those questions fall on deaf ears! Lol

Crowley believes that coming to night raven college has frazzled your young hormonal teenage mind into acting so aggressive and since he’s such a kind and generous headmaster does not hold you accountable for it, isn’t he so wonderful c:

Homura!Yuu ends up quietly playing along to whatever the hell is going on to get a better and proper assessment on the situation you’ve been put in. So everything continues on as normal while the students of NRC give you a strange look until it’s finally your turn to approach the mirror.

How I’d see the mirror react to a Homura!Yuu is once you give it your name, I feel like he’d go “their soul is..Missing?..” Because as you know your soul has been turned into your soul gem and the mirror has no knowledge of this so you’re not gonna be assigned any dorm, sorry not sorry c:

This, understandable, freaks everybody out.

This is when Canon plays out a usual in the story for the prologue with the headmaster taking you to Ramshackle and you’re Re-encounter with Grim.

When you do encounter grim again you transform again and start to chase after him to continue where you left off back in the mirror chamber. This leads to Homura!Yuu discovering grim to be innocent in your arrival here and just simply… wants to be able to grow stronger.. hmm why do you feel like you’ve heard that before

Upon Grim proving his innocence and quite frankly become official scared of Homura!Yuu in comes the ghosts to scare him some more! They watch you chase him down and wanted to join in on the fun.

Mind you, you aka Homura!Yuu are still on guard and still transformed so you obviously attack the ghost with grim ending believing you attacked them for his protection! You didn’t, but if it makes up for scaring the piss outta him sure 👍 well go with that.

Now we continue with canon from here with Crowley calling you a beast tamer and hiring you as a janitor yadda yadda, but Grim ends up referring to you as his Bodyguard instead of henchman in this one! Which if Homura!Yuu was going to be honest, Grim was 1,000 percent a bigger improvement then kyubey.

I totally wanna make a side writing blog and make more stuff like this if it gathers the attention of others lol, I already have it made I just need to edit it along with my other side account where I used to post art until I took them down due to tumblrs Ai update lol

Once I’m done fixing up those two I’ll make a master post with the users of all three of my blogs and my ao3 too lol

Anyways thanks for reading my weird ass ramble :) I have so many ideas I wanna talk about for this and so many story scenarios that probably no one’s gonna be interested in XDD

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals - Jingle Bell Rock

Voiceplay weren't originally planning to release any proper full-length video for December last year (2023), just a Mini or two, as they were busy in November due to a special performance with the band Chicago. They asked their Patrons for song suggestions for Minis, and then put the three most popular suggestions into a poll for people to vote on. Jingle Bell Rock won out with 55% of the votes, but then a Patron provided a suggestion of doing it "Mean Girls style". Initially the guys were confused, (as was I when I first read the video title when the Premiere appeared) - was there some different musical styling that they weren't aware of? But they soon realised that "Mean Girls style" was referring to the iconic dance scene from the 2004 movie. And so, on the 16th of December, 2023, we got a proper video, not just a Mini, with plenty of absurdity and "Voiceplay brand of dumb", courtesy of Layne! (Layne was in charge of both the arrangement and the video, and is also co-credited for creative direction along with Tony).

Now please don't kill me, but I've never actually watched Mean Girls (*GASP*). However, I know a fair bit about it just from it being popular on Tumblr and the internet in general, and I know this specific scene in the movie quite well, as my dad and I would watch the clip of it every year in December. I have also rewatched the original scene before starting this post, because I'm gonna be doing screenshot comparisons! For one thing, this isn't a super long video, so I'm not worried about image limit, and for another, VoicePlay put a lot of effort into recreating this scene as closely as possible (albeit with some, er, aesthetic alterations 😜), so I wanna prove it, because why not!

Anyway, that's a fair bit of introductory stuff already, so I'll leave my other notes/commentary/thoughts for during the actual video talk bit. Let's get into this!

Making a shot from this little opening bit as the thumbnail was one heck of a choice ngl. Maybe they couldn't be bothered finding a better shot from the video, or maybe they just wanted to keep most of the video as a surprise for viewers, idk, but I was so confused from the thumbnail-title combo when the premiere appeared!😂

Also if you don't already know from the video description, this was all filmed on Tony's iPhone! (Doesn't mean it was all handheld though - tripods/stands for phones exist!). It was because VoicePlay were without a cameraguy for like 2-3 months, because their old one moved states.

So instead of doing any sort of "sexy santa/santa's helper" costumes like in the original, Layne decided that he and the others would be dressing up as characters from Christmas movies! Cesar as Buddy The Elf (perfect casting and also gets off easiest in the outfit department, lol), Layne as The Grinch, Geoff as Oogie Boogie (duh), and Eli as Santa/Sandy

(Also fun fact: the Oogie Boogie costume is the same one that Tony wore for his very brief appearance in VoicePlay's Kidnap The Sandy Claws video! (Also it's pretty hot to wear apparently, and Geoff had to tie his hair back to get the head/hood fitted properly, before he ended up asking for a wig cap, rip))

Also if you don't know the original scene, the original line after "but I'm always on your left!" is "that was when there were three of us, and now the tallest go in the middle", but here, the tallest (Layne/Grinchy and Geoff/Oogie Boogie) already are in the middle, so it's switched out for "now the fat one goes in the middle" (also watch for Eli's/Santa's quick surprised reaction to that line, lol)

(Also not a visual thing, but if you haven't picked up on it already, the announcer doing the "please welcome to the stage" bit is also Layne)

I know I didn't mention it in all my rambling at the start, but yes, shoutout to Adriana Arellano who is also in this video! (And blonde now!). This is her fifth full-length collaboration with the group, and second for a Christmas video! (Third if you count the Frozen 2 Medley).

Also do you recognise the set? Again? I'll say more later, but those curtains were almost definitely added in post-production I'll tell ya that!

Can't recreate the OG scene without an audience, and so we haveone! That just happens to also include the VoicePlay guys themselves! (Geoff must've been sharing his cloning machine around! 😜😆

Huldra has a video on her channel I believe saying who's who in the audience here, but they're also all credited in the description, so I'll list them here for you!

Standing up at the back: Michelle Arellano (Adriana's mum)

Back row: Eli, Ashley Jacobson (Eli's wife), Asher Jacobson (the baby that Ashley is holding; Eli's new son who was born in November last year!), Eileen McCarthy (don't know who she is), and Gayle Stein (Layne's mum).

Middle row: Franchezca Buiser (in shadow behind Cesar) (production assistant for Kathy/VoicePlay), Cyndi Stein (the blonde one behind Layne) (Layne's wife), Christina Arellano (Adriana's sister), and Adriana

And of course in the front row: Cesar, Layne, Kathy, and Geoff!

(Oh and "The Grinch" waving to Layne and him waving back (in the O.G. scene it's Gretchen waving to Jason) was definitely a cute touch)

Cyndi absolutely killed it playing Amy Poehler's part in the scene here, but wow already the similarities are stronger than I realized!

Totally the same picture! 🤣

So long as everyone had a good time, amirite? 😁

Pfft, Geoff acting shocked/scandalised, as if he hasn't done more than that in his Way Down video! 😆

Cesar is having the best time, and we love that for him honestly <3

Cyndi also really got into it! Stan! (She and Layne really are perfect for each other huh - same energies!)

Not a recreation of any bit in the original, but I love the little moment of Eileen and Gayle looking at each other in what can at best be called "great shock/surprise" 😂

Firstly, I love how they managed to include Ariana as a lead singer while still keeping with the original "plotline", by having a 'reveal' that Adriana was just lip-syncing to the boombox track, (still her vocals of course), which is revealed when it gets kicked and starts glitching.

Second of all, I love Cesar's attitude of "when in doubt, Remain Cute". Iconic 😂👌

Lol rip, had to happen! (And in the BTS video, they actually kinda show how this bit was done!)

Somehow I feel like Cyndi had the most fun out of anyone in this video shoot 😝

At this point I might as well make note of something you'd be forgiven for not immediately realizing - or perhaps not at all! And that is the fact that they're not actually on a stage! They made it look like one with the use of clever directions and camera anglings for the audience shots, but yeah no that's the same set VoicePlay used in 2022 for Christmas Don't Be Late, and the same set Geoff used that same year for Way Down, and it's totally flat! No stage!

And that's about all I have to say for Jingle Bell Rock actually! (No I'm not including the end bit - I do have some standards! 😂). That brings us up to date with VoicePlay's Christmas videos, but we're not even halfway into my 12 Days of Christmas In July miniseries! Next up, a couple of bonus VoicePlay Visuals posts, and then we'll be jumping over to Geoff's solo stuff! See you again soon!

[girlbob-boypants]

Climbs inside your inbox. And what if I want to hear about azure and rahas dynamic :3?

LMAO okok yeah fair I should've expected this.

Under the cut. This is a ramble.

So in the start of the Crystal Tower arc, Azure considers Graha to be something of a...petulant brat. Often reminding him of a child who thinks being given a job means they're a grownup now. Of course, this was back when Azure was MUCH quieter, so he said nothing. Just judged with his mean gay stare.

As their time in the Tower continues, Azure does warm up *slightly* to Raha. Since Azure is newer to studying magic than...literally everyone around him in this scenario, the two end up talking a lot. Especially since Azure has a crash course in Allagan magic that no one else has had access to yet (Ymhitra is still writing the research paper).

Raha is a giant dork so obviously he's enamored with the WoL the entire time (loser). Doesn't pick up on the fact that Azure doesn't particularly like him and that stubborn drive to be friendly is what gets Azure to warm up.

When Raha decides to give up his life to the tower to preserve it, Azure is...frankly offended. The Allagans deserve no such sacrifice, in his opinion, and for it to be done by someone with such a zest for life and a hard childhood infuriates him. He openly says "fuck their wishes." and calls them monsters/warmongers who have no right to make demands of anyone.

The last thing Raha heard from Azure was "You are a fool and an imbecile and I wash my hands of this." before the au ra stormed off.

Their dynamic at the start of SHB is JUST as one sided as it is in CT if not moreso. Because G'raha Tia is a fool and an imbecile and Azure wishes he could wash his hands of all this.

In truth, I think Raha would think Azure hates him and would hate him more if Azure knew the truth. And that's part of why the Exarch keeps his identity a secret.

Azure is so skilled at being cold and making a person feel judged. And the Exarch has been kidnapping his friends' souls and seemed to genuinely think approaching Azure like a friend would be fine.

But Raha can't help being enamored with how kind Azure is to other people. Particularly the twins. He's sweet and supportive and quick to protect people. A storybook hero, truly. And easy to romanticize.

It makes what Raha is asking Azure to do twist the knife in his gut that much more.

This will now get less thoughtful cause eepy and I've been rambling.

Their relationship picks up towards the end. They enjoy an old man/disabled moment sitting together. What with all that Crystal and Azure fucking. Dying. Raha has all sorts of feelings about Azure saying "I've always wondered what it'd be like to go on an adventure just for fun."

Post reveal and Emet defeat, the two actually start to talk. Azure apologizes. Graha apologizes. Azure tells Graha to keep apologizing, reminding him the list is quite long.

The Scions note how quickly the two seem to get along once Azure gets over his frustrations. They just...click well together.

Feelings turn romantic quickly, but nothing comes of it. The two share lingering touches.

Raha wishes Azure wasn't so...comfortable being in revealing clothes now.

Things become *actually* romantic at some point post return to the Source. Come sit in Azure's lap babygirl.

I'm skipping EW for now but Raha has to accept the fact that his new boyfriend comes with two teenage adopted children. Insert Yshtola laughing at the little family in front of her when Alisaie, Raha, and Azure are all reading with the first two falling asleep.

Ok enjoyyyyyyyyyy.

[cidthesquid]

A Quick Update! - Style Savvy Trendsetter #09

[Previous Post]              [First Post]              [Next Post] Hello all! I know many of you may have followed primarily for Style Savvy content, And that's 100% okay! I want everyone to be able to enjoy whatever part of my content they want, however they want!

I would actually start to feel bad if people felt obligated to read my extra ramblings, or check out posts that don't interest them. I make these post for my own enjoyment and journaling my digital fashion journey, across multiple games! So as Iong as I find new experiences I'll keep posting! (Questions/Comments are always welcome!) ----- Style Savvy tendsetter has slowed down quite a bit, so I have not had much to post about, But I feel like it's been long enough to share at least a quick update! First, Chad is getting a little worried about the massive amount of clothes getting sent to my apartment:

He's not very confrontational about it, and it seems like genuine curiosity, and he's a really nice guy, so I won't hold it against him. :) I also ended up entering another fashion contest! I'm still stuck in beginner rank, until the story progresses further. But I think I was able to come up with a cute outfit to match the girly theme:

There's not much challenge at this level, but it's a fun little distraction.

While I'm at least playing a few days a week now, I actually took a break for a while, my adhd just had trouble staying engaged with a game that was this laser focused on one specific activity. It actually being stuck in a waiting room for a doctors appointment, for me to boot it up on my phone again. (don't worry, it was just routine)

Contests don't really give you any money, and only give you a single clothing item for willing, so while replaying them is fun, it's not a great use of your time. I also changed up my outfit for the first time in over a month, I really liked the green kimono, but the pattern was a bit much for wearing around town. So I decided to mix it up a bit:

I found a really nice combination of items that offers a shoulder-less look that I did not think was possible in this game.

Yeah, it's fairly monochromatic, that's pretty much my 'panic play', when trying something new, even if it's not boring, at least it's not messy. haha!

The furniture shop also just opened, so I can now start decorating my character's room!

They seem very excited about it! haha

I decided to go with a mint/pastel purple color scheme, mostly because it's one of the few 3 color matches I could remember at the time for brown/tan, so I figured it would match the flooring well. I'd never want to live here IRL, but I think it looks pretty nice for the game.

Also, fun fact, your apartment's wallpaper will also be applied as your background for the apartment menu. And yeah, that's really it for this update, I'll leave you with one extra screenshot, and those who are interested/comfortable can stick around for the bonus existential stuff! :P

---- /!\ Caution: End of Cute screenshots, Mostly unedited Ramblings beyond this point /!\ Alright, so again, keeping this confined to thoughts I had when playing the game. I've already changed my character's name once, to make them better fit their new identity, and to match the name of the blog. But whenever I see the name 'Cid' printed out in game, It still feels a little weird, Maybe I had just gotten used to the other name as I used it in monster hunter, and other games? It may also because of the masculine connotations from that name, especially since I've been playing a lot of Final Fantasy XIV recently. Because of that and other FF games whenever I see that name, I think of a gruff older man who's also an airship engineer! XD So my initial thoughts would simply be to change it to something similar, like 'Sid', as that could have a more feminine feel that could feel less out of place. And I know most won't relate to this, but this line of thinking often gets me into meta thoughts like: "Why do you feel you NEED to change the name? It's all in your head!", "Is this what YOU really want, or what you think is expected based on others possible perspectives?", "Is this just your way of ignoring your feeling about being a guy playing these games?" So what seems as simple as changing one letter, brings up a whole lot of stuff I'm not currently equipped to unpack. It can be hard to keep track of how you actually feel outside of external pressure. Trying to find my own answers currently, feels like it's starting to unravel some of the stuff I already thought I'd worked through and processed. But it's not a huge deal for now, so I figure I can just focus less on finding a solution, it can take things one at a time, and come back to this idea when I'm better ready to deal with it! [Next Post]

[ranger-crow]

I want to take a moment to talk (ramble) about venipede’s line cause it’s been on my mind lately. So pardon that this has absolutely no structure- I just love these guys and find them personally very fascinating-

To start, fun fact: venipede and it’s line are only native to two regions! Those being Unova (obviously) and the Isle of Armor off the coast of Galar. You can also find them in select locations in both Alola and Kalos, but (in a not so fun fact) they are considered invasive species. With Alola that “invasive” status is debatable but I’ll get to that in a minute.

With Kalos specifically you can find them on the grounds of the Parfum Palace built by Kalos’ old king. He imported various foreign pokemon to reside in his garden as a reflection of his wealth and status, but when the monarchy fell and the Palace became a national landmark, the damage had already been done and venipede had taken over the grounds. Thankfully they are contained to that area, which is protected property, but being territorial pokemon they end up being marked as a threat to people and pokemon who visit the grounds.

With Alola you have a more unique case. You see, venipede and their line were native to Alola as well. Several hundred years ago they were the apex predators of the Lush Jungle, but were later taken out by rising populations of Lurantis. Some decades ago there were attempts to reintroduce venipede to Alola with very little success. They can be found in small populations in isolated areas on Akala.

I actually originally started this post to talk about whirlepede and how most trainers aren’t equipped to raise this line with the middle stage as a prime reason why.

You see, Venipede are very territorial and often solitary pokemon when left to just be feral. But if you manage to show your chops and build up a relationship, they can become fiercely loyal companions and strong teammates. Scolipedes operate best as a perceived “leader” of a team, they’re hulking ‘mons and share a lot of traits with their first stage that are just dialed up to 11.

All this to say that whirlipede is an absolute curveball that most trainers are not equipped to handle. Venipede isn’t particularly quick, neither is Scolipede but they can gallop for short distances. Whirlipedes however become basically a tire of pure energy in the middle of a line most people assume to be build one the power of their strength.

Evolving from a form that couldn’t move very fast with very small legs, whirlipedes are capable of going over 60mph for extremely long distances. When Pandora first evolved he ran circles around me- often times not even realizing his own speed.

There are actually specific leash/harnesses for whirlipedes that allow them to basically be a gyroscope and let them spin in place while not running someone over. They require a lot of exercise and play- especially to express the freedom of movement that they’ve never had before.

I was better prepared for the transition because I was already at the ranger academy. I was outside a lot and had a lot of open spaces for Pandora to roll around in, and plenty of people to help him get rid of all his battle energy.

I hold venipede’s line close to my heart. They certainly aren’t the easiest to take care of and require a lot of diligence and a strong bond. They aren’t very common, mainly due to how limited their habitats are, and I think that’s why so many people have misconceptions about them.

Some other rapid fire facts-

- Whirlipede is actually considered a pupa stage! Much like cascoon/silcoon, kakuna, metapod, or even pupitar. They don’t have a mouth and run on energy purely from when they were a venipede. They can run off these stores for upwards to a year before they feel ready to evolve!

- Scolipede’s venom is secreted from the spikes on the end of its exoskeleton, antennae, and their beak. They can spit poison as well!

- And yeah, Scolipede’s have beaks much like inkay and malamar, or turtle pokemon like chewtle and drednaw! Their jaws and the subtle hook of their beak is meant to latch onto something and not let it go- and they have a bite force of about 1,000 pounds. Chances are that if they can fit it in their mouth, they can break it right in half

- They squeak. Not enough people know that besides hissing, these guys squeak like a door hinge that needs to be oiled. It’s adorable <3

[cebwrites]

rambling about a plot point post-Wano that got out of hand 😳😳

oc x canon, he/they law word count: 1.6k

For context, during the 6 month period in the timeskip where Law cut off all communication with Kirin, Kirin picked up two kids who needed a ride home The longer they stayed the more the adults on the crew realized there was no 'home' for these kids to return to and started looking for places to drop them off safely (this ended up being with one of Kirin's exes that he's still on good terms with) Kirin emotionally tells the kids that he isn't fit to be their dad because of the life he lives and the kind of person he is but he's made as sure as he can that they're left in good hands and taken care of After a lot of crying he eventually leaves the island with the promise of coming back (if possible)

Now with the Heart Pirates along with them Kirin and go visit Mt. Yin again at some point and obviously the Hearts are a bit ??? when these two kids try to take "dad" (Kirin) out at the knees with hugs, Rio less so but since he wasn't there his eyebrows still raise Someone explains the situation while they walk to the parents' house and the kids cling to their "dads", they eye Law for a little bit but mostly have their attention on Kirin and Reiji, the majority of the crew stay at the ships not to balk the parents with a huge audience but Bepo, Pen, and Shach, and Tetsu, Izzy, and Rio tag along

When they get to the house there's warm welcomes and catching up with old friends, Law and Kirin finally get a quiet moment to themselves after a bit and Law mentions this is kind of a lot to take in at once, asks when he was going to tell them that they're parents now, Kirin apologizes but does mention that the past few months have been nothing but shit hitting the fan after all He gives them a quick peck on the cheek and says that he'll make it up to Law later before the boys pull him up from the couch to play with "Mr. Bear" and Pen/Shach that (lowkey frustratingly but Law won't admit it) get along immediately with the kids who seem to want to keep their distance from him

Later in the day while the kids are still playing outside with Bep/Pen/Shach/Tetsu Kirin has a conversation with his ex and his wife about if it's really okay for the boys to keep calling him dad since he isn't around that often and there's no telling when the next time he can visit will be/if at all The parents just look at each other and then tell him that the short time they spent together means a lot more to the boys than he thinks and that if they wanna call him that, they're free to as long as they want to - Kirin's bashful but accepts it, Reiji and Rio are in the background cooking, Law's standing by the door pretending like he's not listening in but Izzy definitely Perceives™️ the emotions they're trying not to show

The plan is to stay a week and a few days to explore the town (for new crew members who haven't been) and just overall relax, and the entire time it seems like Law's at odds with these little squirts for just a moment of Kirin's time - the younger one is just wary and shy (a stranger that towers over him with full body tattoos, facial hair, and a 'mean' resting expression, no duh) but the older one almost seems to be actively antagonistic in pulling Kirin away to do more fun things but Law's not gonna bring that up because one, that's a dumb kid, and two, he's apparently Kirin's dumb kid

One night late into their stay the older one approaches Law at a campfire while everyone else is having fun and flat out says he doesn't like them, Law holds back the urge to reply with likewise and just says that they figured The kid glares, pointing out that Law's that person, the one Kirin was reaching out to all that time but never answered, suddenly everything clicks into place for Law He continues, saying that they hurt his dad so he hates them - but Kirin doesn't, in fact he acts like nothing ever happened and loves Law just as much as the affection the kid saw him show Reiji - and he doesn't understand any of it Law takes a second to put their words together but ultimately admits it, that yes he hurt Kirin, that frankly they don't deserve this chance after all the opportunities Kirin gave them to come clean beforehand but if Kirin still sees something worth rebuilding towards then they're going to take it and work like hell to make it up to him The kid says so they're just a selfish prick and Law gets that little anger mark then slowly deflates

Yeah, they are selfish - they're gonna be selfish one last time if it means they can make things right with the man they love, the man they've been in love with all this time, god The kid gags and complains about gross adult stuff, Law attempts to ruffle his hair but their hand gets smacked away and the kid blows a raspberry at them before he runs off (somewhere in the back of his mind he thinks about cigarette smoke and lipstick and falling asleep in a giant feather coat around their frail, sickly body)

Rio swings by a bit later to tell Law that Kirin's looking for them, Law waves him off and says they'll be there in a minute Rio hangs around to light his tobacco pipe, keep warm somehow in this cold because he isn't standing close enough to feel the fire For whatever reason, maybe to fill the silence, he admits that it was nice to see Law get harangued by two little terrors for the better part of a week, it's good catharsis Law snorts something to the effect of them knowing he always had a chip on his shoulder about them, Rio  blows the smoke downwind and mentions that he was right to be skeptical though Law gets up to leave, Rio says they just wanted someone else to feel salt in their wounds for once They're both hard to love and it's harder for them to trust enough TO love, and they've both fucked up for the sake of trying to protect the same stupid man Watching the people he'd painstakingly learned to love and rely on grow and move on without him - now Law knew how it felt, so they were even and he's sorry for being so antagonistic, or whatever

Law gives them an incredulous stare and points out that 5 years of them being petty and argumentative was solved by a weekend of not being able to kiss their boyfriend as much as usual because of + minor harassment from a snotty tween? Rio hisses something about missing the point and tells Law that's the last time she'll try to be emotionally vulnerable with them, see if he cares As Rio's storming away, he feels that weird ~tug~ again and the sudden feeling of the air being a lot clearer, Law says to take it as a thanks, they removed the impurities from her lungs again - and that they wouldn't have to if Rio just stopped smoking Rio calls them a weirdo and to stop messing with her body like that, they both bicker all the way back to everyone else

On the second to last day of their supposed vacation, Law's alone with Reiji in the kitchen while he makes dinner and Law sets the table, it's not quite awkward but there's enough tension for Law to be more rigid than usual Reiji asks them to pass something from a cabinet opposite him, Law does, Reiji thanks them quietly but otherwise doesn't particularly look at them, n o w it's awkward By now Law's long smoothed things over with Kirin - however they've kept out of Reiji's way ever since he chewed them out for pulling that Dressrosa stunt in Wano, they're pleasant and joke around occasionally but things just haven't been the same between these two in particular, Kirin is a little bummed to see the rift but it's not like he blames Reiji for being furious back then, he sees Law trying their best too but ultimately it's not his decision to force any unwanted interactions

Law tries to bring something up, anything to fill the silence, but Reiji cuts him off by mentioning that it's nice to see them make an effort to warm up to the kids, it means a lot to Kirin - knowing that Law's probably the least keen to be around children so much next to Rio

They're a little caught off guard that Reiji's starting a conversation with him for once in a long while but manage to stumble something out about how the older one is still a little shit but at least the 'pranks' died down pretty quickly - Law isn't sure what to do about the younger one being timid around Law's 'scary' face though, considering it's just his face That gets an actual laugh out of Reiji, Law feels the air around them lighten a bit Reiji says that it's definitely going to take a while for the boys to fully accept them into their ranks, it was surprisingly tough for Tetsu but look at them now - gesturing to them having a snowball fight outside the window and Shachi absolutely eating shit with snow directly between the eyes - but also says that he's finally ready to forgive Law

They freeze on instinct but quickly melt into the hug Reiji wraps him in, hiding whatever moisture that threatens to leak out in the shoulder of Reiji's thick sweater Reiji pulls away with a little peck on his cheek and says that he'll go tell everyone that he wants to stay a few more days for an upcoming festival, not that Kirin would disagree but Rio might complain about scheduling Law nods, but points out the pots of stew Reiji still had going on the stove Reiji just smiles at them, tells Law to watch the fires and that he trusts them not to burn anything in this sweet family's house

[ezamevolni]

Thanks for the quick take on their living situation. Love the fact that you have multiple drafts that you can prolong until 2025 ( but please don't, lol. Dying to read more about them, so don't make us suffer to wait that long. 😃)

Speaking of their living situation a bit more, I agree that there are far more risks for them, so I am kind of curious how they approach that if they are together, together in the future after military.

Hope you get the chance to discuss about the infamous vlives for JK, one where Jin hinted at sleeping and resulting JK to end recording right after, and the recent one, where drunk, chaotic Jin appeared before his enlistment. Question, did Jin stay? ( I want to say yes, but there was an indication by JK that staff was waiting for Jin).

On the note with Jin's bday live, I know some jinkookers assume that JK was there. However, I disagree. Jin wouldn't lie, and there's no reason to lie about something like that. Some also assumed that Yoongi was there because of the cat noise, but I wanted to note that Jin's friend Hyunbin has a cat, too. (So, if you want to write about Jin's bday live, please look into his gaming friend circle, who he was close with who could have also been there, cos not everyone talked about it)

Hello again! Replied a lot slower because I was struggling to push out that really long post... I told myself I'm not allowed to post anything until I get that one done. And it worked!

Not making excuses🫣 when I say I'm not prolonging anything but just have a lot of ideas for posts. I also would like to tackle the housing topic when I've got some dots connected and some substance to my opinions ;) So I have some earlier ideas I would be working on first, hope you'll stick around and have fun reading those.

The infamous vlives you're referring to are Jk's birthday vlive in 2021 and 2022 I believe.

Jk's birthday vlive 2022 with drunk Jin: I did a bit of a rambling analysis on Jin being there, here's the post if you're interested in checking it out :) Feel free to dm if you want to discuss more.

Jk's birthday vlive 2021 when Jin posted right before Jk signed off: I found it to be semi-sweet and semi-funny. Jin really told everyone he was waiting for Jk to come back to bed but since he was taking so long, Jin's sleeping first. Hmph. Meanwhile Jk had already stated 5 minutes earlier that it's going to be his 'last last last song', although he said that a couple songs ago too. Eventually their timing matched in a weird way, Jin posted the birthday message thinking Jk was going to keep going, and Jk signed off just as Jin posted 😂

What happens after the live ended is up to you to decide. Not baiting you to go delulu but really, we don't know ����🏻‍♀️

Regarding Jin's birthday vlives, I have no idea whether for the duration of the lives if Jk was there or not, because there aren't any clear indicators saying that he was. He could have been, he also could have not been. But since his presence was not felt and Jin jokingly complained about Jk being 'ungrateful' for not going over, it's fine to take Jin's word as it is. Not a big deal. The lives were like less than 25 minutes in total and Jin didn't seem super interested in staying on camera anyway. If Jk wasn't at Jin's place for those 25 minutes, I think it's fine. I wonder why some fans need Jk and Jin to be stuck together 24/7 every waking moment for the ship to be valid. Take a breather, if needed, just imagine that Jin kicked Jk out before starting the live and only let him back inside once he was done. There. Jinkook were together on Jin's birthday aside for 25 minutes that day.

Instead of the negatives or the unseen, I like to focus on the subtle and sweet. Like that heart-shaped chocolate cake front and center, which Jin 'disregarded' entirely. btw chocolate is their thing.

Besides it's not like he wasn't aware of it...he had to pull the hamster cake closer to him to light the candles then push it back to the side to show to the camera, all the while refusing to move the chocolate heart in the way. Wouldn't it be easier to light and cut the hamster cake Jinnie, if it was right in front of you the entire time? Why leave that chocolate obstacle in your way YOU CAN CLEARLY MOVE IT OR NOT EVEN SHOW IT SINCE YOU PRETENDED IT DIDN"T EXIST ANYWAY. (I actually do get worked up at times when I think about the games they're playing right in front of us. I'm lucky I actually support them. Those rascals.)

The intent to disregard the chocolate heart is further highlighted by his mention of another cake that didn't even make it to the big screen. Jin lit and hand-sliced the hamster cake prepped by the company, then verbally brought up a princess cake his neighborhood friends had brought over (no visuals), however the sizable Maraschino cherry topped, dripped with chocolate, bouncy and moist special heart-shaped bundt cake didn't even get an honorable mention. That's what makes this one special special.

And why would this cake without a name be from Jk? Watch their MAMA 2020 Bangtan Bombs✨ As always, the answers are already given.

As for the mystery cat, maybe it's a cute lil phantom haunting the members' houses. Idk if it's even real. Or maybe it's one of the staff's. I'm not that interested in following the trail of the cat noises. And if Yoongi was there, he would be on camera. Jin will make him.

Idk, not every trail is worth following if you dig. I've learnt that it's best to recognize the ship's main gives and hone in on those. Can't go after every will-o-the-wisp we see. 😉

[letstalkloz]

It's Been a Year: Let's Talk This Blog

Hey everyone, it's been awhile! Sorry for not keeping up with all of the Legend of Zelda news we've gotten in the last year since I last posted. This post will just be a quick run down of where I've been, and what my future plans are with this blog. So let's talk about it.

Fun fact about the creation of this blog: This whole thing started as a project for my Writer's at Work class. It was a class designed to teach us English majors about different careers and writing styles we could pursue after graduation. Our first lesson was over blog posts, and since I was already a long time tumblr user, I figured I would create a blog around my number one obsession: The Legend of Zelda.

Even though my love for the series has not diminished, I will say my relationship to this blog felt weirdly professional. Every post I made was for a grade, and there was certain criteria I had to meet. In the end, I passed the class and earned my degree as well as two writing certificates, but I didn't know what to do with my newfound freedom when it came to posting here. So between a small blog-identity crisis, writer's block, and my laptop breaking, I left this blog to rot.

When one of my friends managed to fix my laptop a few weeks back, part of me wanted to come back to this blog and continue posting. The problem was I didn't know what to post about. Nintendo must've realized my struggle though, because we have gotten quite a bit of news regarding Tears of the Kingdom recently.

So now what? I still have my original list of posts that I wanted to make, so while we wait for Tears of the Kingdom to drop, I'll be editing and posting some things that never made it past the first draft stage. Once I get the game in my hands, I will likely be live blogging important moments from my personal gameplay, as well as sharing my opinions on the game itself. The Twilight Princess manga is also just released it's final part, so once I get my hands on a copy of volume 11 I will be posting about that manga series as a whole.

Long story short, I miss this blog and I am excited to return and continue posting about my favorite series. I am also looking forward to posting in a format that I prefer, instead of following guidelines put in place while I was in class (5 paragraph limit, researching topics, etc.). Expect a lot more rambles, more frequent posts, and whatever else I think of.

[crackerqueen-ineedsleep]

in like august or something i sent lorel a very rambly ask about blogverse. well im doing it again because it was such a big thing in my life and i loved it so much.

it is i, roleplayer of bv!shandy/shando, bv!digi/mercury, and the very first lorelcest ship kid; oleander. There's more, but those were the ones i remember clearly. to this day i regret deactivating those blogs, mostly due to all the lost memories. it brought me so much joy. looking back, it was definitely my hyperfixation at the time.

the summer of 2020 (holy shit almost 3 years ago) and i think early into the start of online school, i watched from the sidelines as blogverse grew. every day i watched my little people in the screen. I wasnt much younger but i was still a cringe little tumblr kid having a shit time in school. and then i realized that i could just join. i didnt need permission or anything, i could just make a blog from the get-go and become one of them.

and thats how blogverse shandy was born. my very first tumblr blog, and the one that made me stay. (actually, idk which of them was the first)

i'm still pissed at myself for clearing out my google drive because i used to still have the shitty pictures i drew on my computer of them, due to the fact my ipad was broken at the time. those shitty little pictures were what kept me interested in art (they didnt make me better, i was trash through and through, but they're what sparked my interest and led me to get better). i treasure the old fanart i find in their tags when i go through the ruins of blogverse.

They didn't really have a fleshed out personality or backstory. they were "weird and quirky" one moment, then straight up violent the next. this was mostly because i had no prior experience at actually fleshing out characters. though, i think their "wild card"ness somehow became their personality in the end. i was still some cringe little kid who thought i was a genius at writing because i had this little guy in my computer who lived in a void and had a cat and atattchment issues.

but holy shit i loved them. i used to think about them like a real flesh and blood person. i'd spend long nights roleplaying with others and long days talking to myself about my plans for them and then totally abandoning them moments later. i drew them poorly and decided i was a master of character design. they felt like a part of me.

i had no idea how tumblr worked but it was so much fun. bv digi, bv shandy, and oleander were 3 separate blogs because i didn't even know side blogs were a thing. bv shandy was deactivated several times due to minor issues that could've been fixed with the press of a button.

then came oleander, who i kind of had an idea for. they were a snotty little motherfricker who i absolutely adored being. it started as a joke and then it wasnt a joke anymore and they were a fully fledged character. i got bored quick though, and their blog went inactive soon. i hate their design to this day, and in the morning i'll probably redraw them.

there was also bv digi, whose entire personality was being a little weirdo who kidnapped ship kids at random just be-fucking-cause. they might've actually been the first blog i dont remember. anyway, they had the normalest design and the least art. i loved them with my whole fucking soul.

they made no sense and were generally shitty but that was the best thing to ever happen to me i think. bv introduced me to tumblr where i'd meet so many amazing people and see so many hilarious and sometimes eye-opening posts. it got me into art, writing, and roleplay, my 3 biggest hobbies to this day. it was a hyperfixation i leaned on to cope with the mild distress that just came with being alive and a dumb kid in 2020. my very first 'real' blog was made after bv's fall, and i met one of my longest mutuals bc she wrote a lorelcest fic.

I think back on it as the good old days, nostalgic even. Blogverse was my pride and joy, what i'd go do after a day of suffering in school or do when i retreated to my room. When it died so did my hyperfixation, but now looking back it meant so fucking much to me and was arguably my strongest interest and maybe even coping mechanism.

sure, it deprived me of sleep and sometimes food because i was so caught up with it, but it made me happy. all's well that ends well, right?

and i still am a dumb kid (Older Edition, yay), but even when i'm a dumb adult i'll never forget blogverse. BV was my pride and joy that summer. Thank you for being its accidental ringleader, and i know its wacky to say, but without bv i would be a different person.

:]

KSDJEKFKEKC AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

BICH U GONNA GET ME ALL TOUCHY AND FEELY

I'm so surprised yet happy that there's still at least one person that remembers BV! It was a lot of work to run so many blogs but I'm happy to know that it was worth it. BV means a lot to me aswell :)

[tomyo]

I know I suddenly posted a lot of backlog adventure stuff back to back haha but just a little lore building here. I felt some energy to actually try games after the rush of playing KH3. At the same time, games are hard alone bleh.

Next week though, I'm briefly staying with a friend who I might try to play through with on Sonic Riders and Nights. Last year when I visited him, I brought my Dreamcast down and we went through Jet Set Radio on it so this is the next playthrough together I guess hahaha.

I would of liked to play more Dreamcast games soon, however a lot of mine don't actually work at the moment. Shenmue and Sonic adventure need to be polished which is big oof anxiety and to a much less extent, Cooking Mama cook off. Might even trade that one in to be real. I think it'd probably be the most fun for us to one day attempt a Dream Cast Binge together. Shenmue will certainly be....a heavy meal of a game and other games like Time Stalkers and Space Channel 5 would just be fun with friends. I might even bring the 360 at some point so I can force him to do Free Riders with me too hahaha.

In general since basically buying every Harvest Moon game out there (as I write this I may or may not be getting grand bazaar and hero of leaf valley 💀) my attention jumped to my Sonic collection. Basically my biggest gap is with Wii era games surprisingly. When I was in elementary to early high school I was pretty big on the games and bought a lot of them for the sub $15 the GameCube ones cost at that time. There is a distinct pain over the fact the copy of Adventure XD I had I had to return for being to scratched given the prices now and for personal reasons, there's someone who I've wanted to be the one to give me their old copy of even though it won't ever happened hahaha. My biggest desires right now are to get my hands on Black Knight but I've also wanted a 360 copy of Unleashed, Generations, Zero Gravity, and Shadow the Hedgehog. Rush adventure and Shuffle also catch my eye but my wallet hurts enough as is. I really need to stop getting into game collecting.

Part of the reason to bring Sonic up is also because I'll probably be playing a replay of Sonic 06 with the friend who leant me his PS4. He apparently never played it but wants to and I love just... Backseat gaming rather than actually playing. Hahahah. Games can be magical but art takes up too much time in my life now. The switch has been helpful for my more on the go lifestyle these days but I often still run short on free time. Even now Ive been wasting work hours to do KH3 this past weekend.

I guess my final little ramble is back to my HM collection. God it's kinda scary how many games I had suddenly bought at once. I keep meaning to play but I know they're the kinda games I have to secretly dedicate a lot of time towards. If I do end up getting the two aforementioned with my recent impulse gets, I've pretty much achieved most major versions of the game. My biggest other missing ones probs come down to the Og Story of Seasons, A version of Back to Nature, and the FoMT remake. Another wonderful life is on there but I'm starting to question my need for that one when I hate all the bachelors which I'm required to marry. Overall though I've reached what feels like a pretty doable conclusion from all of those.

Playing them however.....is a separate case hahaha. I had briefly started a AWLSE run which I might try to pick up, I want to return to Animal Parade as well over the winter, and a Save the Homeland run should??? Be quick??? I just started a my little shop attempt which is a pretty pick up and put down game so I will likely do that daily with Animal Parade when I play that. Overall I think my biggest scare is the handheld games. They should be easier but they feel harder. I want to do A New beginning the most but the game mechanics are daunting. The DS cute Skye playthrough might end up being the better choice from those right now. Which leads me to question how long will I take to go through all those games since I haven't been playing them over the years like they were meant for.

I think if I do go through end of the year as I intend to, recovering from surgery, I will try to go through a bunch of them.

[textuallee]

Who’s Wahn and Why’s Namaari So Mad at Him?

Who’s Wahn? This guy...

...who gets a smackdown for questioning why they’re out there.

This scene is where we see Namaari for the first time after she breaks Raya’s trust. She’s now an intimadating warrior, apparently one with an explosively short fuse who smacks around her own underling for daring to question her. Her treatment of Wahn further frames Namaari as the villain of the story.

But I feel this picture doesn’t quite match up with the Namaari that’s revealed by the end of the movie—poised and well-mannered, passionate and expressive but restrained and disciplined. She’s certainly an angry teen (as the screenplay describes her)...

...but taking out her anger through physical violence like she does to Wahn? Namaari only shows such behavior towards one other person—Raya, her nemesis born of a complicated and traumatic history, the one pushes her buttons.

(In fact, while making the above image, I realized that even the angry faces Namaari makes are mostly directed at Raya. Of the 9 screenshots I chose, only the bottom right one isn’t—that’s from when Tong calls her “the one who slayed Sisu.” Namaari’s anger issues are definitely tied to Raya and we’ll talk more about that below.)

So I wondered why Namaari’s so mad at Wahn. What buttons did he push?

Then I noticed that Wahn isn’t dressed like the other Fang soldiers:

But there is someone dressed just like him...

...the guard watching one of the gates of Fang Palace.

So with this in mind, let’s talk about how Wahn may have triggered Namaari’s anger.

A. What Is Wahn?

Well, we can safely guess that Wahn isn’t just a soldier in the royal army—he’s a palace guard.

We can also speculate that he was probably the guard on duty when Raya infiltrated the palace to steal the dragon scroll, by incapacitating him and using his key to get inside (much like Noi and the Ongis). Being sent on the dangerous task of chasing the thief through Druun-infested lands would have been the punishment for failing his duty.

Supposing the above, we can explain the harshness of Namaari’s reaction when he suggests that they forget about Raya and the scroll. Instead of making up for his failure by capturing the thief and recovering what was stolen, he’s trying to shorten his punishment by convincing Namaari to abandon their mission.

What’s worse is that he’s still displaying the complacency and negligence that led to his failure to guard the gate and prevent the theft. He doesn’t even see that retrieving the scroll isn’t what’s truly at stake. Because what makes their mission worth the risk is keeping Fang safe by determining what Raya’s up to and neutralizing any threat may she pose by capturing her.

B. Why Is Namaari So Angry?

It’s important to note that chasing Raya is manifestly a threat response for Namaari. Twice, she fiercely demands to know what Raya’s up to, why she’s stealing gem pieces. To Virana, she worriedly insists that Raya shouldn’t be underestimated and must be stopped.

So first, Namaari shows anger, especially when Raya evades her. Then, safely at home and to her trusted mother, she reveals a more vulnerable underlying emotion—fear.

Yet Raya doesn’t seem to have done anything so very threatening. She did successfully infiltrate Fang, but only to steal a scroll that's not useful for anything. Stealing the gem pieces is more concerning, but it’s not like they do anything other than repelling the Druun (and Fang is well-protected from the Druun by water).

Virana (who’s all about keeping Fang safe) certainly isn’t very worried about what Raya's up to. She advises Namaari not to make emotional decisions, implying that her need to stop Raya is irrational. And Namaari, unable to offer evidence to the contrary, pivots her argument to the benefits of gaining more gem pieces, in order to convince Virana to lend her the royal army.

Then why is Namaari so afraid? Why does she view Raya as a threat that must be dealt with? Because she caused Raya so much harm and irreparable loss. Her attempt to take the dragon gem led to the breaking of Heart and the world. And Raya came back to life from presumed death, broke into Fang, and took what was used to lead her to treachery. And Namaari doesn’t know what this ghost risen from her past sins will do if not stopped. Guilt leads to fear and fear leads to anger.*

Namaari’s guilt is so deeply repressed that it mostly only surfaces in the form of fear and anger. And—rather than proving a lack of remorse—her treatment of Raya as a threat, her angry and fearful gestures of aggression, can be understood as the product of a deep and overwhelming sense of guilt that she’s unable to properly process or express.

(*That’s not to say that Namaari’s psychology can be reduced to this simple formula. There's more going on, like how the problem of scapegoating factors into her aggressive defensiveness. And the pull of shared connection and attraction, of course, which complicates things even more.

To dig a bit deeper, I refer you to an article by an actual psychologist: “Anger: How We Transfer Feelings of Guilt, Hurt, and Fear.” Applying this article’s insight to Namaari’s case, we can also explain her anger as a psychological defense used to distance herself from distressing experiences such as feeling afraid, powerless, accused, guilty, ashamed, untrustworthy, unloveable, etc.)

C. Back to Wahn

Let’s wrap up this discussion by counting the buttons that Wahn manages to push:

1. “the Tail lands are infested with Druun” (Yes, an entire land has been destroyed by a plague caused by Namaari’s actions. Duly noted. Two down, three left.)

2. “Benja’s daughter is as good as stone” (Might as well have said, ‘lol Raya’s totally gonna die and, hey, remember how she lost her father thanks to you?’)

3. "useless dragon scroll” (Not that Namaari believes Sisu’s still out there, like some 12-year-old, but nobody likes to be reminded that there’s no way to fix the world they broke.)

4. Putting their safety before before their duty and mission. (A quality that Princess Selfless-Hero-Complex wouldn’t appreciate in her palace guard, especially one who failed at his job.)

5. Failing to treat a threat to Fang seriously. (See sections A & B.)

Namaari: Anyone else wanna push my buttons? (#incorrect quotes #Raya don’t)

[ruanbaijie]

Hi Hanyi! Long term follower here. Thank you for all the content you make 😍😍 because of your post I decided to watch the untamed and absolutely loved it!! I would love to get more into the denmai world but not sure where to begin. If you could give me some book recs that would really help. Thank you again ❣️❣️❣️😊❣️😊

hello~! it’s my pleasure and thank you so much for the support (o^ ^o) glad you ended up loving the untamed and that you wanna get more into danmei! 

I’ve done a similar rec list here before, but always happy to do up a new one (´,,•ω•,,)♡ I’ve sorted the below based on my own ratings: all-time faves, 5 stars, 4 stars, and others I’ve heard are good but have not yet read or don’t intend to read any time soon.

I won’t go into too much detail for each and will leave out my typical rambling commentaries (my other post has enough of that *cough*) but I’ll note the genres and leave links (including to @minmoyu min’s much more detailed recs where available) for you to explore~ do watch out for the trigger warnings some of them have though (novelupdates will have more detailed tags). leaving out mxtx ones since most would be familiar with those. all art below are from fanartists on lofter, permissions for repost under the cut!

there are quite a number of titles below (and there are a lot more out there asdklfklf) but a great start would be to select based on the genres you like, and after you’ve read a few, the author’s writing styles! my quick take on the writing styles of authors I’ve read a few books of below:

huai shang: I REALLY love huai shang (*^^*)♡ she has a good balance of plot, action, humour, and mystery - and she often writes her CPs (couples) as a... very identifiable trope that I ADORE

priest: another big name in danmei and her brain is the one true galaxy brain like really plot heavy and intense and you’ll really need to focus when reading her works. another running gag for priest works is that it’s really difficult to guess who’s the top and bottom in her CPs (lmao) and her bedroom scenes (fun fact in chinese slang, these scenes are referred to as ppp or 车 “chē” literally: car) are like... blink and you’ll miss it (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

meatbun: ANGST QUEEN. another plot heavy author (but not as intense as priest) but she does inner thoughts and emotional scenes EXTREMELY well. a lot of 车 (opposite end of spectrum from priest) but these aren’t written for the sake of it; they actually do play a role in the plot

ok now the titles aha (disclaimer: I tend to enjoy mystery, detective, modern, and apocalyptic genres more so the titles and ratings below might are definitely skewing towards these)

ALL-TIME FAVOURITES

Po Yun (Huai Shang) 破云 (淮上) - Breaking Through the Clouds

Carrd, NU, Min’s rec

Genres: modern, action, crime, detective, drugs, mystery

CP: YanJiang (Yan Xie x Jiang Ting)

Po Yun 2: Tun Hai (Huai Shang) 破云2吞海 (淮上) - Swallowing the Seas

Carrd, NU, Min’s rec

Genres: modern, action, angst, crime, detective, mystery

CP: ConghuaYu (Bu Chonghua x Wu Yu)

Bu Si Zhe (Huai Shang) 不死者 (淮上) - Undead

Carrd, NU, Min’s rec

Genres: modern, a/b/o, action, apocalypse, military, sci-fi, survival, zombies

CP: RongNan (Zhou Rong x Si Nan)

Po Yun by 域说, Tun Hai & Bu Si Zhe by 真茗 

Lie Huo Jiao Chou (Priest) 烈火浇愁 - Drowning Sorrows in Raging Fire

Carrd, NU

Genres: historical, angst, modern, fantasy (xuanhuan), mystery

CP: JiLing (Xuan Ji x Sheng Lingyuan), ChunQiu (Yan Qiushan x Zhi Chun)

Er Ha He Ta De Bai Mao Shi Zun (Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou) 二哈和他的白猫师尊 (肉包不吃肉) - The Husky & His White Cat Shizun (Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat)

Carrd, NU, Min’s rec

Genres: historical, action, angst, fantasy (xianxia), mystery, time travel

CP: RanWan (Mo Ran x Chu Wanning)

Xiao Mo Gu (Yi Shi Si Zhou) 小蘑菇 (一十四洲) - Little Mushroom

Carrd, NU

Genres: futuristic, apocalypse, dystopia, sci-fi, survival

CP: LuZhe (Lu Feng x An Zhe)

Erha by 吃个冰粉冷静一下, LHJC & XMG by 灼忘

5/5 STARS

Ka Pai Mi Shi (Die Zhi Ling) 卡牌密室 (蝶之灵) - Card Room

No Carrd yet / I can find, NU

Genres: modern, action, death game, mystery, survival, unlimited flow

CP: YuXiao (Yu Hanjiang x Xiao Lou), ShaoYe (Shao Qinghua x Ye Qi)

Di Qiu Shang Xian (Mo Chen Huan) 地球上线 (莫晨欢) - The Earth is Online

Carrd, NU, Min’s rec

Genres: modern, action, apocalypse, death game, horror, mystery, sci-fi, survival, unlimited flow

CP: DuoTang (Fu Wenduo x Tang Mo)

Ti Deng Ying Tao Hua (Huai Shang) 提灯映桃花 (淮上) - Lantern: Reflection of the Peach Blossoms

Carrd, NU

Genres: historical, modern, action, Buddhism, family conflict, fantasy (xuanhuan), mpreg, mystery, reincarnation

CP: HuiHuang (Zhou Hui x Chu He), YuYan (Yu Jingzhong x Yan Lanyu)

Mo Du (Priest) 默读 - Silent Reading

Carrd, NU

Genres: modern, action, crime, detective, mystery, psychological

CP: ZhouDu (Luo Wenzhou x Fei Du)

Si Wang Wan Hua Tong (Xi Zi Xu) 死亡万花筒 (西子绪) - Kaleidoscope of Death

Carrd, NU, Min’s rec

Genres: modern, cross-dressing, death game, fantasy, horror, mystery, survival, unlimited flow

CP: NanQiu (Ruan Nanzhu x Lin Qiushi)

LRPB by 乙卯巽, MD by 域说, KOD by 弱电讯号

4/5 STARS

Huang Jin Tai (Cang Wu Bin Bai) 黄金台 (苍梧宾���) - Golden Stage

Carrd, NU, Min’s rec

Genres: historical, conspiracy, political, reversible couple, royalty

CP: YanFu (Yan Xiaohan x Fu Shen)

Sha Po Lang (Priest) 杀破狼

Carrd, NU

Genres: historical, conspiracy, mecha, military, political, royalty, steampunk, war

CP: ChangGu (Chang Geng x Gu Yun)

Yu Wu (Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou) 余污 (肉包不吃肉) - Remnants of Filth (Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat)

Carrd, NU

Genres: historical, action, angst, conspiracy, fantasy (xianxia), military, royalty, war

CP: XiMang (Mo Xi x Gu Mang)

GS by 不知名丐帮侠士, SPL by 域说 

ALSO WORTH CHECKING (I’ve yet to read / don’t intend to read but heard that they’re good reads)

Duo Meng (Fei Tian Ye Xiang) 夺梦 (非天夜翔) - Seizing Dreams

Carrd, NU

Genres: modern, action, fantasy, mystery, school life, slice of life

Tian Bao Fu Yao Lu (Fei Tian Ye Xiang) 天宝伏妖录 (非天夜翔) - Tianbao Fuyao Records

Carrd [1, 2], NU

Genres: historical, action, exorcism, fantasy (xuanhuan)

Ding Hai Fu Sheng Lu (Fei Tian Ye Xiang) 定海浮生录 (非天夜翔) - Dinghai Fusheng Records

Carrd, NU, Min’s rec

Genres: historical, action, exorcism, fantasy (xuanhuan), military, war

Qian Qiu (Meng Xi Shi) 千秋 (梦溪石) - Thousand Autumns

Carrd [1, 2, 3], NU, Min’s rec

Genres: historical, action, fantasy (wuxia), political

Wu Shuang (Meng Xi Shi) 无双 (梦溪石) - Peerless

Carrd [1, 2], NU, Min’s rec

Genres: historical, action, fantasy (wuxia), mystery, political

Mou Mou (Mu Su Li) 某某 (木苏里) - A Certain Someone

Carrd, NU

Genres: modern, coming of age, family conflict, school life, slice of life

Pan Guan (Mu Su Li) 判官 (木苏里) - The Judge

No Carrd yet / I can find, NU

Genres: modern, action, horror, mystery

Quan Qiu Gao Kao (Mu Su Li) 全球高考 (木苏里) - Global University Entrance Exam

Carrd, NU, Min’s rec

Genres: modern, action, death game, horror, mystery, survival, unlimited flow

Yi Ji Lü Shi (Mu Su Li) 一级律师 (木苏里) - First-Class Lawyer

No Carrd yet / I can find, NU

Genres: futuristic, conspiracy, mystery, sci-fi

Can Ci Pin (Priest) 残次品 - Imperfections

Carrd, NU

Genres: futuristic, conspiracy, dystopia, mecha, military, outer space, sci-fi

Liu Yao (Priest) 六爻 - Liu Yao: Revitalisation of the Fuyao Sect

Carrd, NU

Genres: historical, action, family, fantasy (xianxia)

Bing An Ben (Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou) 病案本 (肉包不吃肉) - Case File Compendium (Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat)

No Carrd yet / I can find, NU 

Genres: modern, mystery, psychological

Nan Chan (Tang Jiu Qing) 南禅 (唐酒卿)

Carrd [1, 2, 3], NU, Min’s rec

Genres: historical, Buddhism, fantasy (xianxia), psychological, resurrection

Qiang Jin Jiu (Tang Jiu Qing) 将进酒 (唐酒卿)

Carrd [1, 2], NU

Genres: historical, action, conspiracy, military, mystery, political, war

Bo Wu (Wei Feng Ji Xu) 薄雾 (微风几许) - Mist

No Carrd yet / I can find, NU

Genres: futuristic, action, mystery, parallel worlds, sci-fi, survival, time travel, unlimited flow

Sa Ye (Wu Zhe) 撒野 (巫哲)

Carrd, NU

Genres: modern, coming of age, psychological, reversible couple, school life, slice of life

Lofter artists repost permissions:

域说

真茗

吃个冰粉冷静一下

灼忘

乙卯巽

弱电讯号

不知名丐帮侠士

[serendipitous-magic]

What is your writing advice for young people who want to write fanfiction and original stories in the near future?

If this is just Way Too Much, skip to the end (#16). My most important piece of advice is there. I also happen to think #5 is pretty good.

-_-_-_-

1) Literally just write. Write whatever you want, and do a lot of it.

_-_

2) You don’t have to post everything. In fact you don’t have to post anything. You can, don’t get me wrong, but it can be intimidating to sit down and think “I will now write something that other people will see and read and judge with their eyeballs.” Because that’s probably gonna lead to nerves and writer's block. Just write down the ideas that you have, the things you want to write, whatever’s in your brain that you want to explore and expand upon and make into something. And then if you want to, share it. Or don’t share it. I have plenty of half-baked ideas and documents and random story chapters and shit hidden away on my Google Drive that will never see the light of day, for a whole number of reasons. I wanted to write it but it wasn’t ~Spicy~ enough to warrant posting, or it’s only like an eighth of a good idea, or it’s like one scene with no story around it, or it’s just something incredibly self-indulgent I just wanted to write for my own enjoyment.

Point being, don’t write for other people. Don’t write so that other people can read it; write what you want, write for yourself, and then if you want to share it, do.

_-_

3) You can pretty much ignore any and all of these for fanfiction. In fact, you can ignore pretty much any rules or guidelines you want for fanfiction. Fanfic is a sandbox. You don’t have to be a “professional writer” to post fic. No one expects you to be Stephen King or Margaret Atwood. Fanfic is just for playing in a fandom and having fun. If you wanna write a 50 chapter slow burn with very little plot aside from the OTP slowly getting to know each other, and no real stakes or central conflict, I guarantee people would read that. Really, fanfiction is the Old West of writing: lawless, wild, unpredictable, and free.

However, here are the rules you must follow:

-Separate your paragraphs. (I’m sure you know this already, but I’m gonna say it anyway just in case.) Do not post one big block of text. Make a paragraph break when someone new is talking, when the characters are in a new place, when a new event occurs that changes the scene, when a chunk of time has passed, and when there’s a major change in subject.

-I know it’s obvious, but... grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. They exist to make writing easy for readers to read, and more people will read your stuff if they don’t have to stop and try to figure out what you meant.

-Use tags and labels, as is possible with whatever site you’re using. Especially if you include possibly triggering content in your story. Again, I know it’s obvious, but it’s common courtesy. Bonus: tagging the themes and content of your story helps readers find it and read it :)

-If possible, limit the use of all-caps and exclamation marks / question marks. 99% of the time, one ! or one ? will do. If you overload the page with a lot of all-caps and long rows of exclamation marks or question marks, it hampers readability.

... That’s literally all I can think of. And, like I said, it’s all pretty basic stuff. You were probably rolling your eyes like, “Uh, yeah, Gwen, I know.” But that’s literally it. You can pretty much do whatever you want in fanfic.

That being said, here’s my advice for both fanfiction and original work...

_-_

4) A quick and dirty rule for coming up with a plot, starting a story, keeping up pacing, or maintaining tension: figure out what dreams, desires, and goals are nearest and dearest to your main character’s heart (see #16). Then set up the main conflict to be directly in opposition to that goal. It doesn’t have to be in a tangible way, though it could be. But, if your main character wants more than anything to reach the ships on the southern coast of your world and sail to a new life, make sure the main conflict immediately prevents them from doing that - in fact, make sure to send them north. If your main character just wants to keep their loved ones safe, kidnap the loved ones. If your main character just wants to date their best-friend-turned-crush, make sure they think they have no chance - or, make them cocky about it, and make sure it makes Person B determined not to ever like them. You get it. Figure out what your character most wants, and then keep them from having that. Boom - your conflict now ties in with your character's motivation. It's like instant yeast for plots.

_-_

5) If you’re anything like me, you want your first draft to be Good, despite all that advice about how the first draft doesn’t have to be good and it’s just to get words on the page, yadda yadda. And if you’re somewhat of a perfectionist (like myself), it’s easy to get stuck looking at a blank page because you don’t have The Perfect Words, and you want what you write to be Good the first time.

Here’s how I cheat that:

Instead of trying to write a Good First Draft from a blank page, hit the enter key a few times, skip a little down on the page, change your ink to red (or blue, or whatever - just something immediately identifiable as Not Black) and just thought vomit. Write whatever the hell you’re thinking, exactly as you think it. Don’t worry about it being readable, don’t worry about narrative flow for now, don’t worry about covering all the details, don’t worry about anything except either a) getting all the details of your idea out onto the page, whether that’s a lot or whether it’s just a sentence or two, or b) if you don’t have an idea yet, finding your way there.

Because this method is also very good for finding your way to ideas when you’re stuck in writer’s block.

Because of how human brains work, getting this stuff out onto the page - in all its messy, stream-of-consciousness glory - will likely spark more thoughts. As you write your original idea about the scene, it’ll likely spark more ideas. Creation begets creation. If you just start thought-vomiting your ideas onto the page, chances are you’ll think of more things as you go, and you’ll start filling out description or dialogue or tone or action or whatever, and pretty soon the scene starts writing itself.

Not sure where you’re going with the scene or which ideas you wanna use? Use a lot of ambivalent language in your “thought-vomit draft.” My pre-writing notes are chock-full of the words “maybe,” “perhaps,” and the phrases, “At some point...” and “...or something like that.” In this way, I don’t tie myself down to one idea; it’s just an idea, and I’m keeping it on the page in case I use it, but I might chuck it in the trash or change it or whatever.

And then, once your ideas for the scene (or story, or chapter, or whatever) are on the page, then go back to the top and start translating them into a “real” first draft. Use black ink, and start copy-pasting chunks of the thought-vomit up into the top part of the document and translating them into Draft 1. Separate out paragraphs where paragraph breaks should be. Add the correct punctuation and whatnot. Change “describe the lobby here - include potted plants, fancy carpet, blood stain, etc.” into an actual description of the lobby. Flesh it out, or condense, or whatever it needs. And if you’re still stuck, change back to red ink and ramble some more until you find a path that feels right, then plug that in. This keeps you from looking at a blank page, and it allows you to generate a kind of Draft 0.5, somewhere between a plan and a first draft.

You don’t have to use every idea. Like I said, jot down whatever comes to mind, put a “maybe” before or after it, and keep working. If the idea grabs you and you wanna keep expanding on it and exploring it, cool. If you just wanna jot it down so you don’t forget it and then move on, also cool. Red-ink draft / “thought-vomit draft” is your time to jump around in the timeline, add or finesse details at whatever point your brain moves to, etc. Don’t try to do it exactly in story order, because you will get tangential thoughts and ideas, and you will not remember to write them down five pages later when you finally get to taking notes on that scene. Trust me. On that note...

_-_

6) Write everything down the moment you think of it. Seriously.

“I’ll remember it when I get around to writing that scene in a couple days / weeks / months (/years).”

You won’t.

Write it down.

Phone, journal, google docs - hell, my family regularly laughs at me for grabbing a napkin during dinner and scribbling thoughts down alongside pasta sauce stains.

And then, once you have it written down somewhere...

_-_

7) Consolidate your writing ideas in one place.

Maybe this isn’t really your style, and that’s totally chill.

Buuuut, if you’re Type-A like me - or if you tend to be somewhat unorganized and you know you’ll lose track of your writing notes if they’re scattered across multiple notebooks, journals, napkins, phone notes, etc. - having one consolidated document of notes is a life saver. I keep mine on Google Docs so I can access it, add to it, and look through it for inspiration anywhere at any time. When I have one of those Shower Thoughts that I jot down on my phone or on a napkin during dinner, I set myself a reminder on my phone to type it up in my Story Ideas document later.

(Or, if the idea I had was for a story of mine that I’ve already started planning / drafting / whatever, I put it in the document for that story instead of the Big Random Story Ideas doc. You get it.)

_-_

8) Have other ways to collect and save writing ideas, besides just writing stuff down. If you like Pinterest, make pinterest boards of your characters or stories or settings or whatever. If you’re big into playlists, make a playlist for your character / setting / story / etc. Or both. Or something else. I’m not good at drawing, but maybe you are, and maybe you like to draw your ideas. Whatever form it takes, having another way to save ideas and think about your stories is invaluable.

_-_

9) Some writers can just start writing with no idea where the story is going, and they just kind of figure it out as they go. I envy those writers. And I do that sometimes for fanfiction, where the stakes are somewhat lower and the audience is reading more for scene-to-scene enjoyment (and to see their OTP kiss) than for a Driving And Compelling Narrative.

But here’s the thing: especially if you’re just kind of starting out, writing without some sort of plan is really, really hard, and will likely lead you into a slow, meandering narrative that will likely frustrate you.

Even if you think you’re someone that just can’t write with a plan (and again, I have the highest respect for pansters out there - I don’t know how you do it, you crazy bastards, but you keep doing you) - even if you think “I can’t work with plans, they’re too prescriptive, I just want to write and see what happens -”

Try at least making the most skeletal of plans.

Even if you have no clue what 90% of the story is, yet. That’s fine. But you need to have some idea of what you’re building to, even if that’s nothing more specific than a feeling, or a turning point for your character. Even if your entire plan for everything beyond Chapter 1 is, “At some point, Charlie needs to realize that Ed was lying to her.”

This is where those Draft 0.5 notes come in handy. Because, more than likely, working on your current scene that way will spark ideas for later scenes, which you can put down at the bottom of the document and save for when they become relevant. In my experience, the line between planning ahead and making a Draft 0.5 is exceptionally thin. One can quickly turn into the other.

If you’re really, really resistant to the idea of planning ahead, that’s okay. It’s not everybody’s style. But for the love of all that is holy, write down your ideas for future scenes, even if you’re a person that doesn’t like to plan and writes only in story order, because you will not remember that idea once you get to that scene.

_-_

10) You don’t have to write in order.

Here’s the thing: I’m a person that can only do my Draft 1 in story order (meaning, chronological order). I just have to be in that flow; I need to write in story order for me to best channel where the character is at from scene to scene, both narratively and emotionally.

But my Thought Vomit Draft is another thing entirely. By using the brain hack of putting my notes in red (or another color, it doesn’t matter) and going down to the bottom of the document / page and taking notes there, and then integrating them into whatever plan I have, and then translating them into Draft 1 once I get there in the story - by doing that, I can get my good ideas onto the page (and expound upon them and let my muse carry me and ride that momentum while I’m in the moment of inspiration) without writing out of order.

Maybe that’s just me. But if you’re a person who really prefers to write in story order, that could be hugely helpful to you. It is to me.

_-_

11) Emotion and motivation will do more for your story than technicalities of plot.

If your characters really care about something, and their journey through the (shaky or weak) plot is emotionally engaging, it will be a much more compelling story than a story with a “perfect” plot and unrelatable or unmotivated characters.

If your characters care about what they’re doing, and it means something to them, and their goals and actions are driven by dreams or fears or emotions that are integral to who they are, your audience will care too. If you have a perfectly crafted plot that hits all the right beats and has high stakes and fast pacing and drama - but your characters don’t connect with what’s happening in a way that’s deeply meaningful or emotional for them? You’re gonna have a hard time engaging readers.

When in doubt, prioritize character emotion and motivation over plot. Emotion is what drives story.

This power is highly exploitable. (Just look at pulp novels and shitty but entertaining movies.) You can even use it to glaze over plot holes or reinvigorate a limp narrative. Use it that way sparingly, though. It’s a band-aid, not a surgery. 

_-_

12) Evil villains are hard to write - mostly because there are very few truly evil people in the world. (There are a few. Billionaires and several big name politicians come to mind.) But by and large, there aren’t that many evil people. There are plenty of bad people, but bad people have some good in them, somewhere in there. Trying to write an evil villain is hard, because they often turn very cartoony.

Here’s a tip: it’s much easier to write antagonists who aren’t evil. Even if they’re bad people. Of course, there’s no reason you can’t write a villain that’s just truly evil - a serial killer, or an abuser, or a billionaire, or someone who legit just wants to hurt people or blow up the earth or stay in control of an oppressed population, or whatever. But chances are, it’s gonna be really hard to make them feel real, and even harder to create a plot around them that doesn’t feel forced or contrived.

Instead, try writing an antagonist / villain whose motivations and goals directly clash with your protagonist’s - but not because they want to take over the world or see people suffer. Write an antagonist who’s chaotic good, but whose perception of the situation is completely opposite from your hero’s. Write an antagonist whose only desire is to save people, and who will do anything to achieve that goal - anything. Write an antagonist who believes in the letter of the law, and will hinder and oppose the hero’s methods even if they agree with the hero’s motivation. Write an antagonist who got in way over their head and did some things they regret, and now they don’t know how to get out, and they’re doing their best but whatever they set in motion is too powerful for them to stop now.

Write villains who are human. Write a killer who thought they were doing the right thing by taking their victim out of the equation, who vomits at the sight of the body and sobs over the grave they dig. Write a government leader who truly believes she’s doing what’s best for her people in the long-term, even if it might hurt them in the short term, and is willing to endure the hatred and belligerence of the masses if it means securing what she thinks is a better future for her people. Write a teenage bully that thinks they’re the one being picked on by the world, and they’re just fighting back, standing their ground. Write a scientist who will break any code of ethics and hurt anyone he needs to - in order to bring back his baby sister from the grave, because he promised her he’d protect her and he failed. Write an antagonist who is selfish and self-centered and capricious - because in order to survive they had to look out for Number One, and that habit ain’t about to break anytime soon.

Write villains who aren’t even villains. Write antagonists who oppose the hero because of moral differences. Write antagonists who are trying to do the right thing. Write antagonists who treat the heroes with kindness and dignity and respect and gentleness.

They don’t have to be good. They don’t have to be Misunderstood Sweethearts who “deserve” a redemption arc. They can be cruel and nasty and dismissive and callous and violent and etc. etc.

Just hesitate before you make them Evil-with-a-capital-E. Because evil is hard to write, and honestly, boring to read. Flawed human beings with goals and motivations that directly oppose the main characters’ are much easier to write and much more interesting to read.

Ask why. Why is your villain trying to take over the world? What does that even mean? Are they trying to create a Star-Trek-like post-capitalism utopia, but they know that won’t happen in a million lifetimes, so they’re trying to do it by force? Are they actually super in favor of human rights, but they got very impatient waiting for the world to do anything about poverty and war, so they decided to take it into their own hands? Are they determined to fix the world - no matter the cost? Are they terrified and overwhelmed, but committed to see it through to the end? Or - maybe they’re just doing it on a dare. Maybe they don’t really give a shit about world domination, they were just a mediocre rich white guy who decided to fuck around and find out, and now he’s kind of curious how far he can take this thing. And now he’s kind of an internationally-wanted criminal, so he’s kind of stuck living on his hidden private island in his multi-billion dollar secret base, strapping lasers to sharks’ heads for the hell of it. Gross, selfish, uncaring, and dangerous? For sure. Evil? Depends on your definition. See, now we’re getting somewhere.

_-_

13) It’s tempting to let the plot control the characters. It’s easy to drop your characters into a situation and see how they react. But here’s the thing: that doesn’t drive plot. In fact, it bogs down pacing. Instead, try to build you plot off of your characters’ actions and decisions. Let your character build their own situation. Not to say it should go they way they wanted it to go; in fact, usually, their grand plans should go to hell very quickly. But having the characters take action and make decisions, and letting the plot develop based on that, is much easier to make compelling than making a rigid series of events and then trying to herd your characters into them.

_-_

14) Having trouble justifying a character’s actions? Consider having them make the opposite decision, or having them approach the situation in a different way. For example: you need your character to go meet the bad guy, for plot reasons, even though there’s no way it’s not a trap. If the character goes, readers are gonna be groaning with their head in their hands, because c’mon man, that was really fucking stupid. But he’s gotta go, because the plot needs that. Two ways you might handle this: a) He knows it’s probably a trap. He decides not to go. The plot conspires to get him near the villain anyway. Or, b) He knows it’s a trap. But he needs to go, for (insert reasons here). So, he approaches it in an unexpected way. He brings backup, recruiting a side character we met earlier in the story. Or he arrives on the back of a dragon, because ain’t nobody gonna fuck with a dude on a dragon. Or he goes - early, and ambushes the villain. It may work, it may not. He may get himself kidnapped anyway. But it moves the plot along without having Stupid Hero Syndrome.

_-_

15) This is a legit piece of advice: if all of this sounds overwhelming, literally just ignore it and write what you want. For real. Writing should be fun, and every single writer operates differently. If you’re sitting here like “I’m getting stressed just reading this,” just flip me a good-natured bird and get on with your life. I promise I won’t take it personally. Same goes for literally any other writing advice you see. Lots of rules and guidelines can very quickly make anything thoroughly un-fun. Just write. If you’re passionate about it and you do it for long enough, you’ll start figuring out the tips and tricks on your own.

_-_

16) Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you: know your characters. More importantly, know what’s important to them. Build their personality and decisions off of that, and build your plot off of their decisions.

I see a lot of character building sheets that ask a shit-ton of questions like “What’s their most prized possession?” “Do they like their family?” “What’s their favorite food?”

And while these are good questions, my problem with this type of character building is that if you start there, with the little stuff, you’re building on nothing. IMO, to make a truly strong character (not strong like Inner Strength, strong like effective), you need a strong foundation.

Here are the things you must know about your character:

a) What are their greatest fears / deepest insecurities? And I don’t mean “wasps” or “heights.” I mean the deep shit. I mean fears like “living a meaningless life,” or “turning out just like their parents,” or “that no one will ever love them,” or “being powerless.” You may say, “But they’re really scared of wasps! They fall into a wasp nest when they were little and got stung so much they almost died!” Great! That’s a fantastic bit of backstory. They should absolutely be afraid of wasps, and that should absolutely be an impediment later in the story. But dig deeper. What about that event actually scarred them? Was it the helplessness? Stumbling around, swatting at the air, not being able to do a single thing to stop what was happening to them? Was it that they were alone, and no matter how loud they screamed, no one was coming? Was it the bodily horror of feeling themself turn into an inhuman creature as they swelled up from the stings, unable to move their fingers or face normally anymore?

And don’t forget insecurities, because those factor in, too. Are they deeply insecure about their identity? Do they believe, deep down, that they’re ugly? Did they grow up poor and they’ve always been really touchy about that? Why? Dig deep. Figure out what really, really bothers them.

b) What are their hopes and dreams? What do they truly want out of life? What do they consider the most valuable to their experience here in this thing called life? Is it the freedom to forge their own path and be independent? Is it the approval of their family or peers? Is it a home? Is it knowledge, or understanding? Spiritual fulfillment? Is it deeply important to them that they contribute to their community, or protect those they love? What do they need in order to feel truly and deeply fulfilled in life?

Figure out those two things (each one encompasses several things, btw, you don’t have to stop at just one for each), and then use that to inform how they behave and the types of decisions they make within the story. 

It also informs character behavior and personality. 

Let’s say we have a character who’s afraid of helplessness. They’re probably gonna be the person that always wants to do something, try something, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. They’d despise just sitting and waiting, probably, because it makes them feel powerless. They might even be the person that makes rash decisions and acts impulsively and puts themself in danger unnecessarily, because in their mind it’s better than being at the mercy of fate. This is one way you could use a character’s personality to inform their decisions, which in turn helps to inform plot.

Or, let’s say we have a character whose greatest fear is being left behind or forgotten. We may have a chatterbox on our hands. They might be obnoxious. They might love the spotlight, constantly vying for attention no matter the situation, because deep down they’re so afraid that they’d be forgotten otherwise. Or, it may go the opposite way. They may be so afraid of people leaving them that they’re terrified of bothering people. They don’t want to do anything that could annoy people, anything that might give people a reason to leave them. They might be exceedingly polite, quiet, accommodating. A push-over, really.

These are two nearly opposite types of personalities, both stemming from the same core fear/insecurity. You can go a lot of different ways with it. But if you build on that strong foundation, you’ll have a strong character, and a stronger plot.

Likewise, the structure of your story can and should inform the design of these character traits. If you need your characters to team up near the end, it may be impactful if you give your main character a deep fear of commitment, an insecurity about being unwanted or left behind, and make them highly value independence and freedom. That could make their team-up for the final battle very meaningful. Conversely, you can use your character’s deepest fears and desires to help design the plot. Is your character deeply insecure about voicing their opinions or taking a stand, because of trauma they faced in the past? Make them face that. Build that into the climactic third act. Give them the big inspirational speech where they stand up and talk about what they believe to be important, what they think the group should do. And then design that character arc to run through the story, giving you more handholds and stepping stones, more pieces of foundation on which to design the plot.

In this way, character should inform story as much as story informs character. It’s a feedback loop.

Bonus: if you build your character and your plot off of each other in this way, it automatically starts to build in the foundations of that emotional investment I mentioned earlier. If your character’s decisions are based on what they most want and do not want in life, you basically have your character motivation and stakes pre-built.

Note: you need to know these things about your villain, too.

-_-_-

I’m genuinely sorry about the length of this, lmao. But you did ask.

Best of luck!

Edit: I forgot an important one:

17) Start when the scene starts and end when the scene ends.

What do I mean by that?

If your notes say “Danny asks Nicole out after school and majorly flubs it,” start the scene when Danny approaches Nicole after school. Better yet, cold-open the scene on “I was wondering if, you know, you’d wanna. You know. Hang out some time?”

Don’t start that morning when Danny goes to school, unless you’re gonna cover the school day in like one or two sentences. Don’t spend whole paragraphs going through the school day, unless it’s to cover other plot points first (in which case apply these same guidelines there), or if the paragraphs are there for a specific reason, like to illustrate how stressed he is and how it seems like every little thing is going wrong. Even then, trim the fat as much as possible. Expounding and describing everything Moment-to-moment is for the meat of the scenes, not the leading-up-to and coming-away-from.

Here’s my rule of thumb: study how and when movies cut from scene to scene. Movies have exceptionally strict, limited time for storytelling; they’re excellent examples of starting a scene when the plot point starts and ending when it’s over. If you can’t picture a movie showing everything you showed, start the scene later and end it earlier.

[cinnamonest]

Since people actually liked it here's the continuation of the modern Xiao camgirl!darling post I cut from the original, as promised, most if it's under a cut. Here’s the original post. I didn’t think people would actually like the camgirl concept so I thought I was rambling too much and cut this part out lol but here it is now!

Tws: derogatory language/female slurs, mentions of reader being a cheater, reader is promiscuous, murder, incel-y mentality (our modern boy would be a 4chan user, look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong) and mentions of upsetting realistic things, this one's darker than the first part. If you're bothered by other modern stuff for being too realistic best avoid this too probably, involuntary pornography ---------- Coming up on one year since you gained your most loyal subscriber, you get a rather... Unsettling request. He has something he would like this month, in fact, he adds a few hundred to the regular amount (he's been saving up just for this) and asks for just the answer to one simple question. What's your name?

Your real name, he clarifies. He doesn't need a last name, nothing like that. It would just... Make him feel closer to you. He avoids using the term "anniversary," even though that's what comes to mind. He also doesn't tell you that he already knows, that this is just a test of your honesty. For someone who's so cautious, you would think you would think to give a fake name whenever you go to coffee shops for them to yell out, or change it on the packages you get. You hesitate. And it would be easy to give him a fake one, yet, you don't really think about it too much, you kinda think about that as an afterthought, what you should have done, but your very real name is typed out and sent before you really process it, and you feel a sort of unease, but it's already sent. No big deal. He can't do much with just your first name, right? If your name is common, you feel pretty safe, but even if it's a rarer one, surely there are other people with it, right? He's happy though. Kinda surprised, really, that you didn't lie to him. Maybe you trust him?

You're not stupid, you know something is wrong, you're becoming paranoid. And you connect the weird feeling to him, bc he goes radio silence for several days leading up to finally taking you. This dude who used to respond to any messages you sent within 10 seconds suddenly... It's like he disappeared? He hasn't responded to anything you send him ever since you said your name. You send him messages saying you haven't heard from him in a while and you're worried... The way you word it makes it sound like you're worried about him, but you both know that's not what you really mean. You're hesitant and suspicious of every guy you meet. You buy pepper spray and start carrying some around, you nearly spray a poor guy who you thought was trailing you, turns out he just lives in your building. He makes note of it. He watched you buy it, and is quick to realize you always hold it in the same hand. That must be your dominant hand, that's an important mental note for the future, since you're more likely to try to attack him with that hand. He'll remember. He has a note in his phone with information like that. Height, weight, birthday, social security number, parents' names, school she graduated from. All in little bullet points. He adds dominant hand to the list. He's not worried at all really. Already watched you struggle to carry packages he could lift with one hand, your strength doesn't cross his mind as a threat. At first he just doesn't know what to say, and that's why he stops responding, he feels too awkward but... He starts to enjoy the weird feeling of power the whole situation is giving him. You're worried, you're constantly paranoid, and it's because of him. Now you finally understand the same feeling you inflict on him, how you consume his thoughts every waking moment of every day. It used to irritate him that you held so much power over him, while he meant nothing to you. Now, the tables have turned. You're forced to have him constantly in your mind, whether you like it or not, just like you are in his. It's giving you what you deserve. It gives him a feeling of significance. He matters, even if it's not in a good way. And he keeps telling himself that once he's all you have, he'll matter even more. He's smart enough to realize that if you're paranoid, you might have mentioned him by username to someone else, so to ensure he knows what to do from this point, he has to sneak into your apartment at night as you sleep. It's so unbearably tempting, you have no idea -- you're right there and so vulnerable. He has to hold himself back because he knows that if he so much as touched you, he couldn't hold back. But it's torture, standing there so close, watching your chest rise and fall as he fiddles with the phone. Even when he unlocks it with your thumb, he tries to hold the phone from an angle to do so, even if the skin of his hand grazes yours, it would be too much. You have a lot of contacts across your messages and a bunch of different apps. You have one guy in your online chat you've exchanged far more messages with than anyone else! Hundreds upon hundreds of messages, and huge paypal cash drops, who the hell is -- oh, wait, that's him. Nevermind. But, to his pleasant surprise, he's the only one of your... customers that you regularly talk to, the rest just have a few paypal notifications or clarifications on your policies, but no actual conversations like you have with him. Of course, that's literally part of your deal, he's literally paying for it, but it makes him happy nonetheless. But as he goes through your personal messages, he finds that you are... in no shortage of options. Like, holy shit. It was kind of expected. You *are* really pretty, that's how you have so many followers after all, but this is a lot. So many contacts named some variation of "DO NOT ANSWER!!!" or "creepy guy that forced me to give him my number at the club", etc etc. Plenty of unsaved numbers texting you to never get a response. You've ghosted enough dudes to make your place haunted. It's... kinda awful, really. It also kinda hurts his heart a bit more than he expected. You have so, so, so many options, even without the cam thing, he's more insignificant than he even realized. ...Well, for now, at least. He'll be significant to you soon enough. And then you seem to have a sort of "boyfriend of the month" deal going on, aside from that. Plenty of male-name contacts whose last exchange is a "don't talk to me again!" message from you, plenty of messages corresponding to the same time as those to your girl friends about how you can't find a good guy and every relationship ends badly. How unfortunate. See, it's because you choose bad guys. You probably go for dicks and not.... well, he can't exactly pull the "nice guys like me" mentality, he doesn't delude himself into thinking he is one. He's lucid enough to realize that most nice guys would not be sneaking into your house and standing over your sleeping body to stalk your phone as they make plans to kidnap you. He knows he would probably fall under the classification of a creepy guy. He's just too far gone to care. Still, he would be so much better to you, he tells himself, not a cheater or a player like you complain about. To say he resents those kinds of guys -- ones that can do the unthinkable and actually talk to girls, let alone successfully, only to be assholes, and yet girls like you still go for them -- is an understatement. You're basically just a slut, you probably ignore all the guys that would be nice to you, just like all those internet forums he reads talk about. Typical.

Well, those forums also make fun of guys like him who pay for girls like you, but he can't blame them. It *is* kinda pathetic. There is one dude you talk to, though, now. Current boyfriend of the month, from the looks of it. You have a little heart emoji next to the name. He knows it's kinda pathetic that something so simple and insignificant sets him off, but it does, makes him pout and grind his teeth and curl his other hand into a fist. It's so unfair. Some dude you barely know gets to fuck you, and you haven't even known him nearly as long as you've known him! He doubts this dude -- hell, any of your boyfriends -- has put in the same amount of money that he has into you. They fuck you practically for free. And that, unfortunately for you, only solidifies his decision. If you're fucking some dude for a month because they buy you dinner every now and then, if we're going by that scale, then you owe him quite a good deal of pussy. Any hesitancy or guilt he had about the whole thing is gone. And he's a little mad. Keeps grumbling to himself that you're just a loose whore, fucking so many people and putting yourself out there on the internet. He wonders if they even know about what you do. Probably not, you probably don't tell them. Yeah, that sounds like what you'd do. Really, you're kinda lucky that someone like him is so willing to commit to you, since you are a slut. You don't deserve it, but he loves you anyway. And you'll probably have the nerve to be ungrateful for it too. Sigh. On the bright side, by some miracle, it would appear that you have not told any real-life people about him, you haven't sent out any hey if I disappear you should probably look into this creep type of messages. But he can't afford to have you doing so in between now and when you move in with him, so, he decides he has to act within the next 24 hours. While he's here, though, he decides to do a quick sweep of your place. Makes note of what snacks and drinks you like, what brand of toothpaste and shampoo and the like you use, so he can buy some for you. Maybe you'll adjust better if you have some of your favorite things. And then, after days of silence, he sends you a message, says it's fine, his internet went out for a few days. He means it to reassure you, but somehow it makes you feel more uneasy. He has everything planned out, or so he thinks. But you deviate from your usual schedule. When you leave work or class, you don't go home, you go somewhere else, first. How strange. Maybe picking up groceries? He follows from a distance. No, looks like you're going out to eat...? Maybe you're meeting friends or family or -- no that's a guy. Fuck. You must have planned this just earlier today, since there were no messages on your phone. It makes a bitter feeling rise in his gut. He hates that he can't get close enough to listen to your conversation. Well, he hates the whole thing, sits there and seethes the whole time. Watches you through the windows in the parking lot, thankfully you chose to sit outside. Feels his eye twitch and his hand clench every time you smile and laugh. It takes way too long. The fact that you split the bill feels like a punch to the stomach too. Shouldn't you be used to taking guys' money? Oh, and what's this...? This guy isn't the picture on boyfriend-of-the-month's contact. Well, well, well. You really are a whore. See, it's a very good thing he's taking you off the market. You're probably a reckless heartbreaker too. He's doing all the other men of the world a favor by taking on such a burden as you. And it makes him feel far more justified in keeping you locked away, since he has every reason to believe, now, that you'd run off and fuck someone else if given the chance. Halfway through, the guy briefly gets up and runs to the bathroom or something. While he's gone, he sees your face fall a bit. And then he sees you look around. You turn your head from one side to the other. Your eyes scan the area. You shuffle uncomfortably and you bite your lip and your eyebrows furrow. You're scared. You feel like -- no, you know you're being watched and it scares you. That makes him a little happy, for some reason. He wouldn't be sure what to do if you went home with the guy, but thankfully you don't. No big deal, this was just a bump in the road, he still beats you back to your building and he still goes through with the original plan. Even better, now that it's even darker outside. If anything, now he's got extra aggression and testosterone in his blood, running over the events in his head and going through some... very forceful and violent fantasies. The message he sent had you uneasy, and it's also how you immediately know what's going on when it does finally happen. You keep telling yourself you're being unnecessarily paranoid, that it's nothing, maybe that guy actually got his life together or got a girlfriend or something. Things like... What you fear, don't happen in real life, that's stuff that only happens in movies and stuff. You keep calling it that or it in your head. That won't happen to you. It's not going to happen. The series of events that play out in your head, scenarios you try to push out of your mind. Sure, in the movies it always takes place in the stairwell, but that's fiction, so you go up the apartment stairwell as always. You're not gonna let a bunch of B-grade old films scare you. And it's always some dude standing and waiting, but that nice young boy that you've never seen before is just leaning against the wall, scrolling on his phone, he only glances up for a second as you pass by, he's not a threat, you're being paranoid. You flash a smile and a little wave as you walk by, he doesn't return either, just looks back down at his phone. See? This guy doesn't even care, you're being paranoid for nothing, you tell yourself. But as you make the turn to go up the next set of stairs you hear the click of a phone being put on the lockscreen, a few metallic footsteps ringing out in the open hall and echoing, coming up right behind you, but for that split second you expect a tap on the shoulder, maybe he has a question, it's not like movies, it's not like movies, you're not gonna get a cloth shoved over your face and--- Well, it's not exactly like the movies. You were prepared, but it all happens in one motion - one hand grabs the hand with the spray and twists it, making you drop it, the other wraps some material over your mouth. You were prepared enough that you don't gasp in surprise, you hold your breath and thrash, but it doesn't make any difference, you wiggle and writhe for a few moments but can't even begin to break free, eventually succumb to the lack of oxygen and take a deep breath. It takes a few seconds to settle in, it's not so immediate. You instinctively panic and thrash again, but he has a complete iron grip. The dizziness takes a second to set in. He huffs a bit in frustration and says stop moving, it's fine. It's definitely not, but it occurs to you that that's not something a kidnapper looking for any potential vulnerable girl says. It's a poor attempt at comfort. It's someone specifically looking for you. And if that wasn't enough, he says your name. Your very real name. Maybe it was a mistake to tell him after all. But the worst part of it all is that there's not a single doubt in your mind, even in your panic you have the realization, it's definitely him and this is literally exactly what you were afraid of. And it's the last thing that goes through your head. And once he's got you out cold he just takes a sigh of relief. He may have been very neutral faced to you, but in reality he was incredibly nervous. He hasn't exactly made or used chloroform before, our boy is operating on YouTube tutorials here. He's got adrenaline pumping through his veins and carries you with his arms trembling. He's on autopilot carrying you out, but his mind is also consumed by holy fuck I'm touching her she smells so nice she's so warm her face is so close I'm actually touching her-- you get the idea. He feels bad about taping your hands and feet together and putting you in the trunk of his car, kinda. It feels too much like what a really bad person would do to a girl they didn't care about, like he's a trafficker or a murderer or a criminal or something, but that's not true at all. Sure, he's still mad at you for being a whore and all that, but it feels improper, he just has no choice. It's late at night, but he can't risk getting pulled or being at a stoplight and someone seeing an unconscious girl in his backseat, so, trunk it is. But once he's home, to his tiny little downtown apartment (he'll probably be able to move into a better place soon, since he's not paying you tons of money anymore), he takes a quick check to make sure the coast is clear, and drags you out, up the stairs, all the way into his apartment, sets you down on the bed, where you'll be staying. He even washed the sheets and cleaned the place up a bit for your arrival. You probably would not like to see what this place looked like before the five trash bags worth of cleaning was done. He'll probably be more motivated in the future, though, since now he won't be so depressed all the time. And then the adrenaline of the fear of being seen is over, and that's when it sets in that this is real. It's very, very hard to hold back. You're real, in the flesh, he can reach out and touch you with his hands! It feels like a dream. And he realizes he can take this opportunity to do things he would be far, far too embarrassed to do when you're awake. He takes a few minutes to do just that, cautiously reaches out to poke your face, and then run a hand down your neck, your skin is so soft! Your hair smells so nice, he lays down beside you and runs his fingers over it. Puts hands on your body and just lays there in awe of the fact that you're real. He's pretty certain he's never actually touched a human female before now. Everything about you feels soft. Weirdly feminine, which is something very foreign and confusing to him. And he kinda uh... Loses it. Goes buckwild with just taking in every aspect of you. Again, since you're unconscious he can be gross and entirely shameless about it. Peels your clothes off and runs his hands and mouth over every inch of flesh, takes the tape off your lips and presses his tongue into your limp mouth until he's forced to let go to breathe, fingers you and tonguefucks you and sucks on your nipples and your neck. Lays pressed against you and just breathes in your scent. It takes every ounce of self control he has not to fuck you already. But he does jerk off a few times. That way he'll last longer, so it's a win-win. And then... you twitch. Tape goes back over your mouth. And then, you twitch again. And this time, you make a little "mm!" under the tape, you start trembling and he sees you try to pull your hands apart. You whimper. It sounds scared and distressed. He feels kinda bad, but it also makes him hard, and that outweighs any guilt by far. Besides, it's what you deserve after what you did earlier. You tortured him mentally, it's only fair. On the good side of things, you suppose, you don't have to worry about the usual fears one would have over such a situation - you're fairly certain he's not going to kill you, nor sell you. In fact, the bed you wake up on is pretty soft. You're naked and the tape is uncomfortable, but... At least he was considerate enough to give you a blanket. He does care about you, after all. First thing he says is asking if you're awake. Can you hear me? You hesitate a moment, and then you nod. He's a bit new to this whole abduction thing. He wants to make sure he didn't pull a muscle or something with the tape. So... Do you hurt anywhere? Does your head hurt? Oh, right, the tape. He's not stupid either. You have to promise you're not going to scream. In fact, he's angry enough about earlier that he gets a bit meaner than he originally told himself he'd be. If you scream, I'll make you regret it. Understand? You nod, so he takes it off, holding it close in preparation in case you were lying, but you don't actually answer him, you're silent again for a minute, then just ask a question of your own. You're that guy, right? He's silent for a few seconds, there's no need for any clarification. Finally just says yeah. You just breathe again. Silently. Finally you summon the courage to ask him what he wants with you. And why are you doing this to me? And his answer is fairly simple. What do you think? You don't say anything for a minute, and neither does he. He's not good with words, and you don't really have ones for this situation. It occurs to you that offering to pay him to let you go is probably not the solution. After all, this is the guy that's dumped unimaginable amounts of money onto you, you couldn't even come close to paying him back. You figure maybe, after he gets what he wants... well, you get the courage to ask.  Is there anything... that I can do o-or... anything that will make you... are you gonna let me go, after you....? And the answer is, again, simple, but the one you did not want to hear. No. He's a blunt boy, so he doesn't beat around the bush, but he doesn't torment you by keeping anything from you. In fact, he's already rehearsed this speech a few hundred times in his head. He just wanted to make sure he's very clear so there's no misunderstanding, and while he likes some discomfort in a vengeful sort of way, he doesn't want you to be too freaked out to where you have a panic attack. He says he's just going to... keep you here. He has the things you'll need. He got your purse with your keys, so he'll even run to your apartment after this to go get some of your stuff. You don't need to tell him which number, he adds, he already knows which apartment you're in. He needs you here, he says. And he makes sure to add that it's your fault. If you were never out there selling yourself in the first place, this never would have happened. If you're good, he can make things a bit better for you. But you need to go ahead and accept that you're going to be staying and that no amount of begging or offers is going to convince him to let you go. He can be nice to you, he promises. A better boyfriend than the others. You just have to be a good girlfriend -- you know, obedient and sweet and do what he says. Just like you always were when you talked to him. Just keep being sweet like that and doing the things he tells you to do. You would argue that the terms boyfriend and girlfriend are not appropriate descriptors of the sort of relationship he's creating, but you keep that thought to yourself. Instead, you ask, How long are you going to keep me here? Which is a dumb question, since he's pretty sure he already made that clear. Forever. -----

There's a double homicide in the area. Takes place on the same night, and the same diameter of knife is used, so police believe maybe the two incidents are connected. Especially because they do have something in common, one girl. She was romantically involved with both of them. The girl in question's apartment has been vacated, very suddenly, and the girl has disappeared without a trace, taking things with her from the looks of it, so police believe she may be responsible, but other than that, they have no leads. A few weeks later, a video circulates all over the internet. Some famous camgirl finally started making porn, apparently. Just one video, but the description (which was totally written by her, it has to be since it's written in first person right?) says something about how she decided to quit camming, so this video marks the end of her career. She got into a relationship, so she says in the description, so she has to quit. It's roleplay porn, apparently, she's doing a good job at the acting. All tied up and gagged and getting fucked by some big-dicked guy holding the camera. He's silent, but she's making a ton of noise, cums several times. Really good acting, the fear and desperation in her eyes looks so real. Talk about going out with a bang. It gets a lot of likes. Tons of comments about how sad people are she's quitting. And of course, a lot of comments say, what a lucky guy.