#this was so much research to one single post holy crap

[swaggertron9000]

WoF Percy Jackson AU

So, I was in the car.

And bored.

So my brain came up with this monstrosity.

So may I present to you my probably never going to be used WoF Percy Jackson AU.

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First off, the dragonets of destiny(caregivers included):

Starflight - son of Athena

Tsunami - daughter of Posidon

Sunny - daughter of Apollo

Glory - daughter of Hecate (NOTE: Jambu is her half brother and son of Aphrodite)

Clay - the satyr that bought all four of them to camp

Kestrel - daughter of Ares

Webs - son of Dionysus(?)

Dune - son of Hades (veteran demigod)

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Jade winglet:

Moonwatcher - daughter of Hecate

Qibli - son of Hermes

Winter - son of Boreas(god of the North wind)

Turtle - son of Hecate

Kinkajou - daughter of Euphrosyne(Goddess of Good Cheer, Joy Mirth. One of the Charities)

Umber - son of Hermes

Carneilan - daughter of Ares

Peril - daughter of Hephaestus

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lost continent protagonists:

blue - son of Jupiter

Cricket - daughter of Athena

Sundew - daughter of Demeter

Snowfall - daughter of Kihone(Goddess of snow)

Luna - daughter of Jupiter

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other characters:

Anenome - daughter of Hecate

Darkstalker - son of Hades, legacy of Hecate

Albatross - son of Oizys(goddess of misery, anxiety, grief, depression and misfortune), legacy of Hecate

Fathom - son of Posidon, legacy of Hecate

Indigo - daughter of Hermes

Jambu - son of Aphrodite(Glory's half brother)

Willow - tree nymph

swordtail - son of Dionysus

Bumblebee - daughter of Koios(titan of the inquisitive mind)

Morrowseer - son of Dolos(greek god of lies)

Blaze - daughter of Aphrodite, legacy of Hermes(Blister, Burn and smolder's half sister)

Blister - daughter of Dolos, legacy of Hermes(Blaze, Burn and smolder's half sister)

Burn - daughter of Ares, legacy of Hermes(Blister, Blaze and smolder's half sister)

Onyx - daughter of Fulla(Norse goddess of secrets)

smolder - son of Pistis, legacy of Hermes(God of good faith, trust and reliability, Blister, Blaze and Burn's half brother)

Thorn - magician, path of Ash (god of oases, and vineyards of the western Nile Delta)

Deathbringer - magician, path of set(or should it be path of Anubis? I don't know)

Oasis - daughter of Hermes

Clearsight - daughter of Hecate

Listener - daughter of Minerva

Whiteout - N/A(at the moment)

Fatespeaker - N/A(at the moment)

[freloux]

the classic end-of-year fic meme

For reference, here's what I did last year. This was a weird and sad writing year towards the back half because of a very negative experience I had with the Heartstopper fandom in July. I've vague- and traumablogged about it before, so I won't rehash it too much here, but the experience impacted my productivity (RIP posting every Monday) and my relationship to writing.

Long post under the cut:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? About what I predicted. Despite what happened, Heartstopper continues to be creatively inspiring.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Do Revenge, I think. And Heartstopper, still.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? I really like "baptized by fire." And "made up my mind to make a new start" is a close second.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I wrote some fics anonymously! It gave me a lot of freedom to explore new pairings and go into more detail, which are skills that I've taken into fics that I post "regularly."

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? I have a Notes doc of all my fanfic ideas, so hopefully I'll tackle some of them. I'd like to dust off more of my drawerfics, too, which is something I'm proud of doing this year.

From my past year of writing, what was… My best story of this year: "baptized by fire"

My most popular story of this year: “objects in motion" (Side note: my goal last year was to finish it, so yay me!)

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I didn't have this question last year, but I'm going to include it this year because I sent someone a gift fic and they never acknowledged it.

Most fun story to write: I really enjoyed writing "made up my mind to make a new start," and I'm still super proud of the title besides.

Story with the single sexiest moment: Well, I basically only write erotica, so this is a bit difficult, but I remember the kitchen scene in "objects in motion" being hot.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: Nothing comes to mind.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: My Rock of Ages fic. It's only 2.6k words, but I enjoyed getting into Patricia's head.

Hardest story to write: "baptized by fire" required as much research as it did writing time, which taught me that I love research-heavy fics and historical fiction. So although it was hard, it was very rewarding.

Biggest surprise: "hey angel" because despite my Doctor Who days, I hadn't written magic realism before.

Most unintentionally telling story: Not any one story, I don't think. I sprinkle bits of myself in everything I write.

Favorite Opening Lines / Introductions: I remember really liking the opening of "everything i've got" as soon as I wrote it.

Favorite Closing Lines: "This is the kind of the life Nick needs, the life he deserves. And now it’s finally his." (from "baptized by fire")

Favorite Lines from Anywhere: Picking individual lines is so difficult! I'll choose two:

"The moment tilts and becomes – well, not charged, but a precipice." (from "everything i've got")

"Maddie is frozen in amber in the California town she told him she was headed to." (from "made up my mind to make a new start")

I will tag @firstaudrina if she hasn't done this already. And I think @oneofthewednesdays is my only other mutual who's still in the writing game? Anyone else I've missed is free to snag it!

[christinesficrecs]

This trainwreck of a post is dedicated to oodball-faerietales for being a kind and generous soul. You are appreciated always. 💖

Every single one of these fics is a gift which I have opened multiple times and enjoyed them every time! I did not include any fics I’ve already mentioned this year and it was SUPER hard! But you can find more favorites here. 

Wait by cutloosemcgoose | 23.4K | Explicit

Sitting on his couch, staring at the wall, it feels like Derek is watching his whole, miserable, lonely life flash before his eyes. He’s twenty four and he’s alone. No family, no friends, no real pack. He’s six days away from spending one of the most family-oriented holidays of the year trying to avoid any human interaction. If anyone could see him right now, they would tell him he looks pathetic. If Laura could see him right now, she would probably beat the crap of him and then tell him he’s a loser.

I am a HUGE fan of the woke up married trope but this fic is so much more than that!!! I should probably say that I wasn’t that impressed with the movie The Family Man but this AU is 20 times better!!! So even if you don’t care for Nick Cage or kid fics, this fic is still worth a read. Why you say?!?!! Stiles is THE perfect husband through and through. He is EVERYTHING Derek deserves and so much more! Also, I was just chatting up @dearericbittle about how much I love a great epilogue:

“Are you ready?”

“Jesus, Derek,” Stiles says, turning around so quickly that his foot catches on the rug and he almost goes flying. “You’re not supposed to see me before the wedding, it’s bad luck.”

Derek rolls his eyes at Stiles and they stare at each other for a second, wordless, before Stiles cracks up.

“Yeah, I know,” he says. Derek used to think that Stiles was mildly psychic, maybe an empath or something because of the spark, but he’s since realized that Stiles just knows him—knows all of them—so well that’s it scary and a little out-of-this-world.

“Are you ready?” he asks again. Stiles straightens the lapels of his tux, frowns down at it.

“I feel really silly wearing something so fancy to be married by an Elvis impersonator, I’d just like to say.”

“Write your congressman,” Derek advises. “Come on, we gotta go.”

Big Days by crazyassmurdererwall ( smartalli) | 9.6K

It’s an impulse really, inviting Derek to spend Thanksgiving with him and his dad. The Sheriff. Who once arrested him. It’ll be fine. Stiles is sure it’ll be fine.

This is pure gold. EVERY single thing about this fic is a gift! 

“I might have invited someone to spend Thanksgiving with us.”

He lifts one eyebrow. “You might have?”

“Yeah, no. I absolutely did.”

He may as well own up to it. Besides he’s not sorry he did, he’s just sorry he has to have this decidedly awkward conversation.

“Okay…” John says slowly. “And do I know this person?”

“You do.” Stiles nods back, slowly. “Sort of.”

“Sort of.” His hand grasps the edge of the counter as he says, with a saintly patience born only out of years of being Stiles’ dad, “Does this person have a name?”

“They do.”

“Excellent. And their name would be…?”

Saturday Night At The Movies by aussiebee | 7.3K | Explicit

After running into Stiles at the late night movies, Derek realises just how badly Stiles is handling the post-nogitsune fallout. He knows the feeling.

Derek healing post-nogitsune Stiles with saturday night movie dates is perfect! 

Derek didn’t see much of Stiles in the days after that, but it was hard to be disappointed about it when he drove past the café on Fourth St and saw Stiles and Scott sitting inside, talking over coffee, or when he came out of the bank diagonally opposite the sheriff’s station to see Stiles and his dad sitting on the bench beneath the tree outside of it eating lunch together, both of them looking lighter than they had in months.

But then Saturday arrived again, and Stiles was letting himself into the loft, settling in against Derek’s side in his customary spot, bogarting the remote. “Spaceballs is on in twenty minutes,” he said, smelling of nerves and hope.

“I’m so excited I couldn’t hold my oil,” Derek quoted, making Stiles chuckle, the sound light and at ease.

“May the Schwartz be with you,” he responded gravely, then leaned into Derek and snuggled up close when Derek lifted an arm to drape around his shoulders.

A Walk in the Clouds by Dexterous_Sinistrous | 13.9K

The one set during WWII where Stiles is a pregnant grad student and Derek is a PTSD riddled soldier, both of them looking for a better life.

I love crossovers and AUs. Jill did such a great job with this film reboot!! 

Mieczysław couldn’t help the small smile on his lips. “You can call me Stiles,” he offered.

Derek sighed. “Stiles is certainly different than Mischief,” he stated.

“A nickname,” Stiles replied.

“Well, Stiles,” Derek started. “What if you brought home a husband?”

Stiles looked confused by Derek’s suggestion. “How could I do that? There is no one—”

“There’s me,” Derek replied.

“I— I couldn’t ask that of you,” Stiles began. “I already ruined your trip to San Francisco.”

“Maybe I was meant to be here,” Derek offered. “There seems to be a reason for me bumping into you on the train—exchanging our tickets. Getting kicked off the bus.”

“Those were all my fault,” Stiles dejectedly replied.

Derek shook his head. “Or it was fate knowing that you needed a husband for a day.”

Call Me (Cliché) by SomewheresSword | 84.6K | Mature

When the sheriff's sister ends up in a wheelchair for the duration of summer, Stiles' dreams of three months full of pack bonding, late-night video games and bro-time with Scott come crashing down. He's temporarily relocated to Redford, a three hour drive away, and he can already tell he won't be getting many visitors.

Sure the pack will forget about him while he's gone, Stiles is determined to make the most of his summer of isolation, training his body and mind - and his magic - so he can come back with a bang, and maybe catch a certain Sourwolf's eye.

Then Derek shows up at his window one night with a flimsy excuse about needing research done. Suddenly, his summer away is looking a whole lot more interesting.

When I was a young fangirl there was a series called Ever Fallen In Love With Someone. This is not that fic but the initial plot is similiar especially with the S2 vibe which gives me all the feels! 

“So, there’s this guy,” he began, anxiously reaching for a cookie and nibbling at the edge. Hannah nodded in a wordless ‘go on’ motion. “He’s… older. Dad wouldn’t like it. Or him.” Very firmly didn’t like him, as a matter of fact. Hannah’s grin widened.

“Ooh, a bad boy?” Stiles nodded — that was a bit of an understatement. “Sexy. Tell me about him.”

“He’s got these really dumb, scowly eyebrows that are about ninety percent of his facial expressions and at least fifty percent of those expressions threaten murder,” he said, the words coming before he could think to stop himself. “But he’s such a marshmallow and he doesn’t seem to realise that I can’t take him seriously anymore because I know he’s got all of the emotions. He’s so damn overprotective and sweet and he pretends like he doesn’t care about anything but it’s all lies and I just wanna give him a hug so bad because I honestly don’t know the last time someone hugged him for real.”

Tell Me, So I Know by TroubleIWant | 7.4K | Mature

It took years for Derek to finally confront the way he felt about Stiles, and even after he figured it out he could only explain in Spanish. It took them two years more to get to where they were now. Only with neither of them quite willing to commit, where exactly is that, anyways?

Well, for Stiles it’s a deserted stretch of road behind the Hale house, half trapped in a car wreck after being abducted by hunters. Frankly, he could really use Derek’s help if he’s going to get out of this alive. Mates are supposed to be able to tell when the other is in pain, right? As Derek would probably say, 'querido, no.'

Or, a love story in two parts... and two languages.

I love everything about this fic. It’s hot and beautiful with mates and polyglot Derek. So perfect! 

He trails off, knowing he can’t say amor in the next line without Stiles realizing exactly the sort of thing he’s being told.

“Holy hell,” Stiles rasps, his voice heavy with lust. Even in the low light Derek can see the pulse in his neck, the rabbit-fast tick confirming exactly how attractive Stiles finds his bilingual skills. “What was that?”

Derek shrugs. “Just something I memorized once. It reminds me of you.”

“What’s it mean?”

“It’s a parable about a sheep who pesters a wolf with too many questions and gets eaten for being so annoying.”

“Liar,” Stiles says with a smirk, but he leans back in his chair and doesn’t press the issue for the rest of the meal.

[mentornationpodcast]

2020 in America: One big “SAW” movie being orchestrated by a “mastermind?”

I am John Abbas. I am the host of the Mentor Nation Podcast where we bring world class leaders, entrepreneurs, and people doing interesting things and we get them to mentor you by sharing their journeys, their stories, and their best advice. Think of it like having a personal mentor every week who is there to give you a tip, a kick or an aha moment so that you are more equipped in your success journey.

The year was 2001. Leigh Whannell (Director of Upgrade, The Invisible Man) and James Wan (director of Aqua man) were in their early 20s in film school. Little did they know that their simple idea for a scary movie would turn into a global franchise doing a BILLION DOLLARS in revenue and would lead to 7 sequels and counting?

They would go on to change the Horror/Thriller genre forever with a concept that in my opinion is more frightening than any Freddy Krueger or Michael Myers movie will ever be. There is just something about a horror movie based on things that could “actually happen” that scares me to death.

The entire movie was shot by these young ambitious kids in 18 days with an ultra-modest budget compared to any movie released today.

The film I am referring to is “SAW.”

A Horror/Thriller that took the country by storm, many people wondered just “HOW” this film shot by young students with little money and very little life experience could capture the attention and interest of the whole world.

I believe the answer is in the plot and how it relates to us all on a very deep and dark level.

The premise:  An evil genius mastermind nicknamed Jigsaw, kidnaps a group of people, locks them in a dungeon, sets up a labyrinth of riddles and clues, puts them in an unimaginable situation where they have to make near impossible decisions forcing their true character to come out, and then they have to do unbelievable things to escape or they will die.

When I watched the film, I found my own emotions and thoughts stirring. I found myself wondering. “Holy Crap, What would I actually do or what kind of person could I truly become given a situation of that magnitude?”

What would I do if I had to kill a complete stranger in cold blood or else my own family would die? Would I be able to live with myself in either situation?

Would I saw through my own leg with a hacksaw risking shock and bleeding to death in order to escape being chained up in a dungeon where I would die a slow and agonizing death?

What truly interested me however, was watching how simple it was for jigsaw to create a set of circumstances that caused seemingly good people to do evil things that you would NEVER think they were capable of.

STAY WITH ME, You see,

One thing that I actually believe, is that there is a delicate balance to many of our lives, and as long as our environment is predictable and manageable, most of us are good, and we go about doing what we need to do each day with very few issues.

A very wise mentor of mine once told me. “Most people are good when things are good. If you want to see someone’s true character, watch how they are when everything in their life is falling apart.”

So what in the hell does this movie have to do with the current events in America?

Well, let’s look at what’s going on right now. It kind of looks like a plot straight out of SAW.

For the last decade things have been pretty good. The economy has been flourishing, and for the most part there haven’t been any world changing events other than the occasional natural disaster or the 24/7 coverage of Donald Trump. People have been generally good to each other, working together, and living their life.

Then 2020 hits. The coronavirus becomes the single greatest GLOBAL event that derails life as we know it in the blink of an eye. Months later, just when we think we are getting a handle on it, the George Floyd murder happens, leading to social and political unrest everywhere. There is a big divide now happening in a country where we are all supposed to be on the same team regardless of sex, race, or religion. Differences of opinion between friends are turning into severed relationships full of animosity. Distrust of our government, politicians, and the people who are here to protect us are higher than I have ever seen in my 37 years of life.

A simple post, pic, or video leads to huge arguments, threats, and sometimes, even worse.

Protests are turning violent, monuments are being destroyed, and now people everywhere are walking on eggshells scared to offend someone with an opinion.

People are going to war with each other over masks, race, politics, beliefs, etc. Even the smallest thing seems to push some people over the edge.

Doesn’t it seem like people are turning against each other, and the true nature of many are coming out front and canter for everyone to see?

Could there be an “evil genius mastermind(s)” or “Jigsaw(s)” out there taking these events and using them as a catalyst to have the people in our country turn on each other?

Even if something like this were possible. Why, would anyone want this to happen? Who would want this to happen?

One possible candidate is another country.

If you are reading this and you live in America, I want you to think about something.

The U.S.     has had the largest economy on earth since at least the 1920s

The U.S.     has had the largest economy on earth since at least the 1920s

The U.S.     is regularly and rightly so called the “Land of the free” and the “Land of     Opportunity.”

There are many other things the U.S. leads the world in but here’s my point. When you are the top dog at something, especially the top dog at something as important as the economy, influence, and money, you better believe others will be gunning for you and trying to overtake you, often by any means possible.

There’s an old saying that goes something like, “The higher you climb the pole, the bigger the target on your back” or “the more your ass is exposed” and I believe there is a lot of truth to this.

Imagine for a second that this were true. To beat the U.S. if you are another country. You can’t just do it face to face. David didn’t fight Goliath in bare knuckled hand to hand combat. The U.S. is full of smart people, the defence/military budget is 100 times larger than any other country, and has been for decades. The only way to win if someone wanted to, would have to be “very strategically.”

If you’ve ever watched the movie “War of the Worlds,” the story is that Aliens that have been living under the ground for thousands of years come up and start killing everyone by the millions. No weapon, missile, or gun can even scratch them, let alone kill them. Just when it seems humanity is about to be wiped out for good and nothing will work. The aliens start dying out. We find that it wasn’t a weapon that did the job, but a virus. A virus harmless to humans, as we have evolved and developed immunity over the centuries, but deadly to them. A microscopic virus caused the Aliens bodies to attack itself leading to their death. Isn’t that fascinating: The Aliens perished, not from an exterior attack, but rather from within.

Another issue that we are dealing with in the U.S. is the fact we are a relatively new country in terms of history and others know this. We don’t have thousands of years of history and tradition that we have built upon. As with most cultures in their early days, ours too was built on conquest, treachery, oppression, and often times brutal savagery. This is not a new concept unique to the U.S.

The difference with the U.S. from other countries however, is that we are much more fragile and so “new,” that many of the wounds of the past still feel fresh to people since our country as a whole only dates back a few hundred years.

Why is all of this important? 

Well, because in my fictional world, these events would make a perfect recipe for an outside country with the ambition to be the largest economy or power in the world to get there, not by conquering us, but rather by having us conquer and destroy ourselves from within. Not to mention it’s much easier to do this than one would think. Given an “event” or “some events” happen that can be used as a catalyst. (AKA Coronavirus, George Floyd, Donald Trump and election time.)

Unlike Jigsaw, who had to create extremely elaborate environments that needed to be well thought out, planned, and executed perfectly with zero room for error, all someone or some group would need to do here is feed the fire that has already started with more fuel.

What’s the fuel? False Harmful Information.

How do you feed the fire?  Spreading False Harmful Information Quickly.

Posting     false negativity on social media where uninformed people will see it,     believe it, and become angry based on misinformation.

Feeding     the anger by sharing anything and as much as possible that which is     relevant to the core of the anger.

I can’t tell you how many so called “facts,” I read, posts I see, and articles I watch that when I just dig a little deeper and do some research, I realize are so totally and completely wrong. But by then it doesn’t matter. The damage has been done. I look at the comments and see that most people are believing it and it has been shared 57,000 times already.

We all know people who get emotional and share things, regardless of whether it is true or not. But have you ever thought or asked yourself. Who first posted it? Where did it originate? What was that person/person’s intention? 

Think about how dangerous that could become.

With social media being global, think about how EASY it would be for ANYONE, ANYWHERE in the world to create content designed to turn people against each other.

My point is to compare the ACTUAL events of what is going on in the US to the premise of the movie “SAW.”

What if Jigsaw was another country or countries, and what if the intended target is the entire United States?

I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS THE CASE, OR THIS IS WHAT’S HAPPENING. MAYBE IT’S NOT ANOTHER COUNTRY, BUT RATHER JUST ANGRY PEOPLE SPREAD OUT ALL OVER THAT ARE FULL OF HATE, AND GET JOY IN PEOPLE DESTROYING EACH OTHER. 

There could be thousands of “JIGSAW’S out there who are just stirring up things for their own personal enjoyment.

Is it actually happening? Maybe.

Should we at least consider the fact that it IS happening? I think so.

Are the issues going on real? Of course they are. 

The problem is not that these issues aren’t real, but why they are turning into something a thousand times bigger. I think one of the main reason these issues are getting out of hand and turning violent, angry, and dangerous, is because of the sinister acts of bad people who want to take a bad situation, and make it infinitely worse.

To add insult to injury. If it’s true and it is happening, it would be almost impossible to know who is doing it, who started it vs. who is exacerbating it, and where they are doing it from.

It’s kind of like “Jigsaw” is also “The Invisible Man.”

AGAIN, AND PLEASE HEAR ME,

I am not saying all of this is happening, and I am not someone who believes in the million conspiracies out there.

What I want you to think about is. How realistic it “could” be that outside influences are taking the events of 2020 and using them to destroy a country from within. Kind of interesting when you think about it.

Have you ever watched an episode of Law and Order or CSI and thought to yourself. Wow that was freaking clever! I wonder if these shows give anyone ideas in real life.

If you do, then it isn’t too farfetched of a thought to wonder if “SAW” is really happening, only to a much larger scale.

To read/listen more podcast kindly visit - Mentor Nation Podcast

[kinomiakai]

I've never met you in person, but I really respect the work you do and I guess I'm looking for advice? Since you are a student right now. I'm not sure how old you are, but I graduated with my Bachelor's three years ago and I'm still nowhere near heading to graduate school. I prob won't even be attending until Fall 2021. I'm 25 and feeling really insecure about how old I'm getting without making any progress in my education. Especially since everyone around me has become doctors and lawyers...

jdfhskjfhs anon that is?? really humbling?? I don’t consider myself an expert on anything at all really but I can tell you something: the only year I’ve taken off was after my bachelors. I did the school after school after school route - there was a period of time where I was enrolled in the masters & PhD program at the same time. That’s how close together everything has been.

And I have been the youngest in both my masters and PhD by...so, so much. Everybody in my phd class has kids! They’re married! They have a house! They have full time jobs and are doing this on the side to better themselves and holy hell, was it ever intimidating. You think you aren’t making any progress in your education?????? You’re out there getting real world experience and that experience is going to tell you exactly what needs to be studied and why! It’s invaluable! I had none of that and I have the imposter syndrome to show for it!!!! One of my classmates is literally getting her phd because it’ll get her a better retirement package. I have so much respect for her!!!! Another one was living as a single mom while her husband was abroad while doing her phd!!! Holy crap!!!!

The thing about grad and post grad stuff is that you’re not really...students anymore. Everybody’s an adult. You’re being taught by your peers and you start being treated like that - at least in my experience. I judged a faculty research competition this year. Me! A student! But I’m not a student first anymore, I’m a researcher first, and that playing field is even. (For the most past. There’s certain programs and faculty that are full of assholes and that’s not limited to academia, of course. You’ll find it anywhere and it sucks just as much every time. Don’t let them win, don’t let them stop you.)

It was a weird transition to go through, but I think all it really boils down to is...focusing on yourself. Don’t go to grad school because everyone else is highly educated and you feel that your life experience is worth any less - go to it because you have a question that you don’t think anyone else has answered. Or because you want to learn what research looks like, what academia looks like - or because you want that MA or MSc on your resume - whatever! But do it for you. Do it to better yourself, and if you’re not doing that, look at all the ways you’ve already bettered yourself in your life. What have you learned? How have you grown since you left undergrad? You’ve picked up skills that will undoubtedly help you somewhere along the way. if you want to go to grad school, don’t even give age a thought, honestly. It seriously didn’t factor. There were plenty of students with supervisors younger than they were and vice versa. If you’ve got a good supervisor, you’ll have a mutual respect and an exchange of experiences/ideas that eventually emerges as an awesome research project. (Basically what I’m also saying here is your supervisor can make or break your experience, too! A great prospective supervisor will send you contact info for their current students so you can find out what everything is really like.)

Society can’t function if everybody is a doctor or a lawyer. I know it’s the path everybody talks about taking. I know it feels like there isn’t really any viable options other than that, but there are a million jobs out there! There has to be! The world wouldn’t work otherwise! And your personhood is so much more than your job, anyway. You’re more than a job. A year working on yourself as a person is still a year of education in my book. Academia is a great way to learn, but it isn’t the only way, and there’s a lot that it can’t teach you.

Also! I will slip in there that even with the year off, and although my masters went fairly smoothly, my phd has burned me out like nothing else has. I am suuuper tired of school. So this “break” you’re on? It’s vital. Even if you don’t come back to higher education - going straight into it and powering through it all is hmmmmmm overrated. I am currently inactive on my phd bc between that & the state of the world I just couldn’t do it. I think taking some time away from school helps you appreciate what it’s really there for, too - it’s for you. It’s to teach you. What do you want to learn about? Is academia the right way?

anyway hoowee I’m so sorry anon turns out you activated my trap card: 24 hour rant on academia & its place in current society

TL;DR: grad school & post grad are great ways to learn a ton of stuff, but they aren’t the only way to learn. Your years outside of school are educating you in more than academia, and that knowledge is valuable, & very often vital for being able to put any research into practice. Believe in yourself & the strengths you’ve developed! The skills you’re still developing! You grow every day and that can’t be stopped unless you force it. I believe in you & who you’ll become :)

[dumbthinmint]

Hey, I've noticed in the jse fandom there has been A lot of screaming lately. I've read some of the posts and I'm kinda interested. It seems deep and fun. But I wanted to know how much I have to watch, like can you ballpark how many hours of content I'm going to have to go through to u understand what's happening??

Oh my gosh I've never been asked something like this before! Tbh I'm kinda honored. Idk if you just stumbled across a post of mine or were following me for another fandom, but either way, thanks for asking!

Alright, so here's the thing about JSE ego theorizing: you dont have to keep up with his videos on a daily basis. I certainly don't. If a video has suspicious content, you'll know. People will start yelling on tumblr and posting gifs/clips of the suspicious part.

As for what you need to watch to catch up, I'd estimate it'd take about 12 to 18 hours to watch the entirity of every single video that has ever had ego appearances, glitches, suspicious moments, etc. I marathoned every single one of those videos in January 2019 to do research for my au and it took me most of two empty Saturdays to do so.

That being said, I've been a theorist since May 2018. You don't have to watch every single one of those videos to know what's going on. Many, if not most, of those videos are thirty min to an hour of normal let's plays, with only a few seconds of glitches in between. You can watch compilations of clips that just show those moments in a fraction of that time, and even then, most of them aren't necessary to know what's happening.

There are a few videos you'll want to watch straight through, however. All of videos featuring an in-costume ego, Say Goodbye, KJSE, the PAX East Video, a highlight video with the glitches from the Overnight Watch (dont watch the whole ONW it's like 18 hours long), the major videos from Mayhem 2018*, and Quit The Game To Win are my top reccomendations.

That's all maybe... idk maybe 8 hours? I'm bad at time estimates so don't quote me on that. Also, I'm pretty sure I listed some of those out of order.

As you can probably tell, I'm not a perfect expert in ego lore myself. In a way, I hope that's encouraging; you don't have to be an expert to keep up and have fun with it!

The trick is, follow the blogs which are the real experts. You've probably seen me reblog from quite a few people lately, but my top suggestion for keeping up with ego lore? Follow @isas-theory-wall.

Holy crap this is a lifesaver. @isa-ghost has carefully put together this sideblog to preserve theory posts and updates about the newest ego content and Seánanigans(tm) without the clutter of community memes and panicked screaming. She even does video recaps where she takes notes on suspeeshy videos and posts them with timestamps and everything! Its an absolute godsend when things get hectic in the theorist community and one of my top references for when I'm writing for @thewatchau (my au sideblog).

Finally, I'm gonna tag some peeps in this post who can add on helpful resources in the reblogs. Since you're on anon, make sure to check back to see if anyone else has any new advice! @viostormcaller @huffletrax @nil-the-glitch @happysingingturtles @septic-dr-schneep @jacksoopticboop @wyverwithy @egopocalypse @egosurveillance @isa-ghost @huffle-dork @a-septic-mind (guys I'm bad at remembering urls so if you can tag more people to pass this along pls!)

Hope this helps!!

*The Doctor is Back, Stories Untold (full series), Barry has a Secret, TIE, Dark Silence, and Exiles are the ones that come to mind.

[risottostitties]

Hi! First time here to ask haha! Any HCs for La squadra with an Otaku s/o? Like she watches anime and even buys merch in secret cuz she's scared they might find her hobby lame and immature? (Also,what will be their fave anime? And genre?)

Oh boy let me tell you I have some THOUGHTS about these boys and their taste in anime

La Squadra with an Otaku s/o

Risotto 

at first he’s gonna be kinda confused, not gonna lie. Growing up the only ‘anime’ he knew was like, Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z but at that point he was too old to really get into Pokemon, and he never considered DBZ anime because it aired next to cartoons and stuff.

But that doesn’t mean he won’t appreciate s/o and their good taste. He’s the kind of guy who wants to learn about what interests the people he loves, and he loves you. So he’d honestly enjoy late nights spent binge watching your favorites.

Comes to realize that DBZ was low key his gym goals for the early years of him working out. If you bought him a ‘Swole like Goku’ tank he’d probably wear it to lift in, ngl.

Knowing your favorites he’d probably look to merch for his go to birthday or Christmas gifts. Considering the hobbies and interests of some of his co-workers, a scantily clad waifu figure is honestly a welcome change of pace.

Depending on the style or aesthetic of the anime (ie, is it goth) he would be down to couples cosplay, although he wouldn’t be comfortable with you posting pictures of his face or any identifiable features of him online

His fave is probably the original Dragon Ball Run, followed very closely by DBZ for the nostalgia bit. Something deep like Full Metal Alchemist (Brotherhood and the original) would also appeal to him

Is also a big fan of Beserk, disappointed by the anime. And Vinland Saga, not disappointed by the anime.

Partial to Princess Mononoke as well. He likes some Ghibli films, isn’t afraid to admit it. Thinks the score for Spirited Away is bomb af.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto doesn’t really get it at first either. Honestly? He probably didn’t know the difference between cartoon and anime until you explained it to him.

Unlike Risotto he might be a bit more judgey if you try to get him to watch some with you. So you gotta hit him with the real classics. 

But similarly to Risotto, he at least makes an effort to try and indulge in the things you like. He might not be as patient, but he tries.

Probably wouldn’t do cosplay himself, but would hunt down exclusive seasonal merch to gift you. He’d take careful stock of your collections and do some research to pick out only the finest figurines and posters for you.

Would buy that hella expensive premium bandai apparel for you too, might even pick something subtle up for himself if he really liked the show it came from.

Also back on the cosplay note, if you agreed he’d find the highest quality cosplay possible and have you model some of his favorites for him.

(In particular if you were comfortable in fem clothing, Faye Valentine gets him going)

He loves Cowboy Beebop. 100%, wants to watch it again as soon as it ends. Everything from the characters to the story to the music and the fliud animation that has aged like fine wine appeals to him. Prosciutto is a man who likes the finer things in life. He oozes class. Cowboy Beebop oozes class and prestige.

Also likes Maasaki Yuasa. It was his idea to go see The Night Is Short, Walk on Girl in theaters.

In general his tastes tend to lean towards arthouse type anime or bona fide classics.

Pesci

Pesci knows anime and has been doing his absolute best to keep it a secret from the rest of the gang because they already tease him enough.

He’s one of those secret weebs, you gotta know where to look. Your best bet is to look at his accessories. Is there a watch with a certain symbol from an anime you recognize? A lanyard with a familiar print? Something subtle that isn’t immediately noticed by people not looking for it.

He has a secret box in his room full of blue rays from his faves. He watches them sometimes when he’s home alone. There’s nothing X rated in there obviously, he just doesn’t want people to know.

Thank god he has you.

The two of you probably bonded pretty fast over your mutual love of anime. Hell, you being such an open and proud Otaku probably gave him a bit of confidence in expressing his interests too.

Yall are the weeb couple. Yall definitely go to conventions together. Couples Cosplays, the whole thing.

He’s a sucker for Shonen just as much as he is for the really good heart wrenching painful ones. 

He watches Boruto because he loves Naruto so much.

He would also tear up at Clannad.

Dango Daikazoku triggers almost a pavlovian response of heart ache.

So does Secret Base.

Ano Hana is probably his favorite, although even you’d need to pry it out of him. Its one thing that Prosciutto gives him shit for liking anime, its a whole different ball game if he found out Pesci liked girly anime

Fromaggio

He knows what hentai is. That’s about as far as his knowledge went before yall got together.

He thinks its pretty interesting though, so he’d be down to watch some with you.

Turns out he really likes action shonen. He got really, really into One Piece. Like, instantly. He likes the fact there’s so much to watch/read before he’s caught up too.

Another boy that would couples cosplay and be really into it. Especially if it continued into the bedroom.

He’s pretty go with the flow, so he isn’t picky about what y’all watch. Even if it isn’t his cup of tea he’ll sit through a few episodes on a night with you.

Fromaggio can’t tell the difference between a high quality figure and a shitty one. Its a crap shoot what he buys for you. Its more a process of ‘oh, so likes this character’ rather than checking the seams and paint quality and how dynamic the pose is/interchangeable parts. 

Definitely buys way too much in the dealers room because of this.

He tries his best.

His fave is probably One Piece, liked bleach a lot but never read the manga, Yu Yu Hakusho is another one he really enjoyed. The Dark Tournament arc had him at the edge of his seat and hype as shit.

Illuso

Had a passing knowledge of anime before dating you. Knew what it was, saw a few of the mainstream ones, thought they were enjoyable, moved on with his life.

Your dedicated interest in anime would surprise him at first, because he always figured it was kind of a niche thing.

Would snoop around your collection of manga/figures/plushes in the mirror world while you sleep.

Winds up reading a lot of your manga like that (he’s good at reading in reverse because of his stand)

He finds he appreciates the art style of 80s-90s manga a lot more than he does the modern stuff. He really got into Ranma 1/2 and thinks Rumiko Takahashi’s artstyle is excellent.

If you asked him to watch Inuyasha with you he wouldn’t say no.

Probably wouldn’t want to do couples cosplay, but he definitely has an appreciation for you in cosplay.

You could talk him into going to a con if you caught him in the right mood. It’d be a hard sell though.

Has a surprising enjoyment for J-Rock. 

Inuyasha is high on his favorites list, as is Ranma 1/2. Also a fan of Ghibli movies although its pulling teeth to get him to admit it.

Melone

This man has watched so much hentai in his life.

He probably actually knows them by title honestly.

He enjoys anime too, and is not ashamed unlike Pesci. Everyone already knows he has unconventional tastes there is nothing to hide here.

Melone enjoys traditionally feminine anime, especially Sailor Moon. That one has a special place in his heart as he has memories of his sister watching it with him when he was much younger.

Its more of a decompress thing than anything else, so he doesn't tend to favor heavy anime with dense plot and more mature subject matter.

He likes Maid Costumes. On you, on him, it doesn’t matter.

Doesn’t know a whole lot about merch and what makes something higher quality but he learns fast. Between you and him the Dealers Room at cons won’t know what hit them.

Is the type to preorder a figure he knows you’d like. And maybe one for him.

Buy him this and he’s putty in your hands for a month straight (SFW don’t worry) https://www.amazon.com/Bandai-Sailor-Moonlight-Memory-Locket/dp/B00UA9XB48

Sailor Moon is his favorite as I’ve said before, his favorite sailor scout is Rei. Is also a fan of Ano Hana, Violet Evergarden, and Toradora although he needs to be in the right mood to watch them.

Ghiaccio

He went down the Fate rabbit hole and we haven’t seen him since.

The gender bending grates as his soul but he is addicted regardless. There’s just so much dense lore that he can’t seem to stop going.

But also seeing how much care and attention is paid to the historical background of a lot of the servants is intriguing to him. Its the perfect blend of accurate and harem trash that infuriates him but also leaves him needing to know more.

He hasn’t played every game but he has Grand Order on his phone and has sunk an ungodly amount of money into the gacha trying to get his favorite (Its Jeanne Alter, in case anyone was wondering) and has seen all the anime (His favorite is the cooking spin off because its surprisingly calming to watch)

Fate Zero is probably his favorite ‘serious’ Fate adaptation. He enjoys the gravitas of the Holy Grail Wars (and hates how it was tossed out the fucking window in UBW/Stay Night/Heavens Feel) and the ritual aspect to the summoning and foreshadowing of future events as well as hints at a deeper magical lore in the universe hit all the right spots in his lizard brain.

The fact every fate anime has a different version of Saber (or a Saber Clone) pisses him off too.

He really loves Fate. And will scream about it for hours at you.

Getting him to watch or talk about anything else is like pulling teeth but he eventually relents because he loves you.

Its difficult to get through a single episode without him grumbling about something or another, but he tries once he sees its important to you. He does his best not to outright insult your favorite anime.

Can appreciate high quality merch as well, probably collects Jalter Figures himself.

If you’re comfortable in fem clothing, Cosplay Jalter for him and he will literally ascend then and there. Keeps pics on his phone. Would probably make it his background. He’s weak

Outside of Fate he finds he enjoys high fantasy shows. Historical fantasy pisses him off too much, and straight up historical drama would also have him grasping for inaccuracies.

Full Metal Alchemist is a non-fate series that he really loves because of the world building. The movie Maquia was one he enjoyed as well. Likes every Miyazaki film, don’t tell anyone. Cried (and raged) when Ushio died in Clannad.

In general he just likes really good world building. It has to be good otherwise he’s going to spend the whole time picking it apart.

[veliseraptor]

2019 Fanfiction Round-Up

I’ve done one of these every year since 2016, so here we are again. At this point I’d feel weird if I didn’t do it, even if it takes a long ass time to do.

Total Year-Long Wordcount: Here as of 8:20 PM, 421,602 words - which includes some essays and original fiction but is, by and large, mostly fic. 

If you’re curious, that’s 35,133.5 average words per month, and 1,155 words per day. The month I wrote most was 48,006 words (January) and the least was 21,550 (October). I may go into more stats later to compare to my 2017/2018 spreadsheet, because that’s the kind of loser I am.

This year I wrote and posted: This isn’t exact, because it includes chapters of things I wrote as separate fics, but probably something around 60 fics. 

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? 

Less, by a substantial margin. There are a lot of potential reasons for this (a new job that takes a lot more energy and time, me making a concerted effort to socialize more, taking on more difficult projects that require more time/work/effort, a two month horrendous depressive episode) but I’m trying to tell myself that it doesn’t matter why, and it’s totally fine that my total amount written doesn’t match recent years’. Over 400,000 words is still a lot of writing.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? 

This was a hard year, so I’m going to be self-indulgent and pick a few. I remain really, really proud of the fact that I wrote gather frankincense at all, and pretty proud of how it turned out also. good lord turned his back on me was one that I wrote basically all in one go, and I was really pleased with the Natasha POV and getting to write in her voice - I do that shockingly rarely, and haven’t in a while. I really liked both writing that fic and the arc of it - what it did as a story. 

Finally, continuing with the trend of “small fandom fic” which...I wrote a substantial amount of small-fandom fic this year, which pleases me - how this grace thing works. It was in the works for a long, long time and finally was finished this year - it’s the (for lack of a better word) softest Doctrine of Labyrinths fic I’ve written, and quite possibly ever will write. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I wrote in two different fandoms that I hadn’t written in before or hadn’t written for years. Okay, in fairness I did some Doctrine of Labyrinths writing last year, but this year was really the bulk of the recent writing I’ve done for it. Writing for Lymond was a substantially bigger risk. Glad I did it, and I learned that I could do it, but...

I wrote a fic for someone else in second person, which was certainly a risk in a different way.

Overall...I learned that while I can write in first person still, I deeply prefer both third and second person overall. One of those isn’t surprising; the fact that I’ve come to actually really like second person sometimes is more so. 

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: 

As usual, excluding my multichapter stuff because that skews results a lot - by hits it was how the dead walk; by kudos it was Seams and Scars, and by both comment threads and bookmarks it was Mirror, Mirror. All interesting! Seams and Scars is the most surprising to me, but also pleasing considering how goddamn long that fic took me to write (I’m so glad I finally finished it this year).

Most fun story to write: 

Five Hundred Ways to Discorporate a Demon. Aka the most light-hearted “repetitive character death” fic I’ve ever written. It was just...writing Good Omens fic this year in general was a lot of fun. It’s a departure from my usual voice, and my usual wheelhouse, but probably because of that was really enjoyable to explore. Though in a weird way good lord turned his back on me was also a lot of fun, in the sense of...it was one of those fics that was easy for me to write. It came out smooth and in a way that I liked basically right off the bat, which is rare and a great feeling when it happens.

Story with the single sexiest moment: 

This was kind of a challenging one, actually, because what I find sexy sort of fluctuates based on what I’m in the mood for at the time, but I might go with the sex scene in The Waxing Moon, partly because, as I discovered writing both that fic and An Ever Expanding Circle, I apparently find cocky Thor really sexy. I sort of resent this. (So does Loki.)

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: 

Yeah, I’m going to go with no good doing what I’m told, aka the one where I had a bunch of existential angst about “is this too much? am I going too far?” which...yeah, is always a sign of something considering how high my bar for myself has gotten.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: 

I have a hard time with this question every year. In some way, every story I write shifts my understanding of the characters, or at least deepens it. I guess maybe After the Fire - I dug into Curufin’s head more there than I have in a long time, and since I last did my understanding of him has changed generally. This fic developed more of that changing understanding.

Hardest story to write: 

The Compassion of the Wicked. Even more than gather frankincense, that fic fought me, to the mat, and almost won a number of times. Writing the sex in it was an adventure - I think I noted when I finished it that this is possibly the least explicit fic with explicit sex that I’ve written. Also possibly required the most research, and by “required” I mean “I chose this.” And writing Joleta was...it took me some doing to figure out how to write her, which surprised me a little. 

Anyway, the whole thing was just. A whole barrel of struggle. I’m pretty pleased with the end result, but yeesh.

Biggest Disappointment: 

As usual, in myself, for not working more on my WIPs and not finishing we live until we die. I wanted that to happen this year, I really did, and while I suppose it’s not surprising it didn’t (there was a lot of planning that needed to happen, and continued to need to happen), I’m still disappointed. 

Biggest Surprise: 

Other than “the fact that I wrote Lymond fic at all” and “the fact that people actually read the Lymond fic I wrote”? Probably the continued and aggressive expansion of the Where the Devil Don’t Go verse. I thought it was over after I wrote drown my woes in a lake of fire but then it turned out that there were (checks) five more installments I was going to write, and two more in the works, and one other that is on Tumblr but not cross-posted. 

I did not see that coming at all.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: 

I never really know how to answer this question. I guess sometimes there is an obvious one, usually meaning “Jesus, Lise, how fucked up can you get” and in that sense it would definitely be no good doing what I’m told, but...I actually think in some ways it might be how the dead walk. It isn’t...exactly the same as my issues, but there are some ways in which it aligns with them in ways that are different from the ones I usually work with when I’m writing Loki.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

1. The first thing that Felix noticed about Malkar was his hands. (The Anvil and the Chain)

2. The moment he was left alone, Maeglin stumbled to his feet, untethered the nearest horse, and set off back toward the smoke and flame still visible on the horizon. (how should I begin)

3. For the first month and a half after Rocket’s friends arrived on Midgard, along with the remains of Asgard’s population, Loki avoided Gamora with the skill and determination of a mouse evading a fox. (came through the jaws of Death)

4. In the summer of the Year of Our Lord 1000, there was a false alarm, brought about by millennial fever both Up and Downstairs, that the Apocalypse was imminent. (Mercy)

5. A long while ago Loki had read, in a book that was now ash, about the formation of storms. (we haven’t slept in years)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

1. I was lying on my stomach with shackles on my wrists and ankles and the water was rising. Someone, somewhere, was crying. It might have been a ghost. It might have been me. (As I breathe, he burns my lungs like fever)

2. Like my fear of water, fear of Malkar ran in my blood, and was as much a part of me. (The Road to Mourning)

3. “I am not in the mood for indulgence. Is there a purpose to this pageantry, o my Pasha?”

“Save that it is my pleasure?” Gabriel regarded him with a touch of amusement. “You would rather I tied you to a whipping post and had you flogged?”

“You would gain marks for consistency,” Lymond said. (gather frankincense)

4. “Because you are the flaw. You are the fault along which the stone splits. You are what is wrong.” (Mirror, Mirror)

5. “Would you rather I were?” Loki said, and there was something soft and vicious in his voice even with the lingering rasp that made the hair on the back of Clint’s neck all stand on end. “I think not. I am aware that you do not want me here. No doubt you would rather have Thor. That is fine; I would rather you had Thor, too. Don’t think I am not aware of the long and manifold list of my failures. That does not mean I want them enumerated to me by you.” (the enemy of my enemy)

6. “I am too beautiful to die,” Celegorm said with confidence.

But you are going to, Curufin thought. We all are. Condemned as surely as if we were Secondborn. Maybe not now, but... He held his tongue and simply said, “oh, naturally.” Celegorm wheezed a laugh and closed his eyes again. (After the Fire)

7. And yet he misses Thor. No, that is wrong: saying he misses Thor is as inadequate as it would be to say that he misses breathing. He is that central, that vital, that involuntary.

If anyone asked, Loki thinks he would tell them that was why he was running. To prove that he can. (These Vagabond Shoes)

8. The smile, when it came, was sharp. “O Castitas,” Lymond said, “Mater et Virgo, extingue carnales concupiscentias! But enough. For whom this mummer’s show? Do we not know each other better now? For certainly I have known flesh of your flesh, blood of your blood... and she drew mine.” (The Compassion of the Wicked)

9. There was a way Thor had of saying things that made them inarguable. Loki had no idea how he did it - it was as though he spoke the words and it just was, like the world bent itself to suit what he said, only it bent itself so it was as though it had always been true. Loki had always found it maddening. (Speak every man the truth)

10. Everyone got a bit twitchy in the 1300s. People started getting suspicious of the dark glasses. They seemed to think Crowley was hiding something, which he was, but that wasn’t any of their business. (Five Hundred Ways to Discorporate a Demon)

11. This was what the Grandmaster did. He showed you a door, or what looked like a door, and then yanked you back just when it seemed to be in reach. Or proved that it had never been there at all, and what had you been thinking to try to get away, anyway, after everything he’d done for you? (preacher man won’t cut no slack)

12. “You can’t help me,” Loki said, breathless. “There is nothing left to help.”

“That isn’t true,” Thor said weakly. “You are here, aren’t you?”

“Here,” Loki said. “Yes. But I am - I am not myself. I am a cobbled together patchwork of Odin’s making and the Grandmaster’s making and the making of the Void. And yours.” All the feeling had gone from his voice. “You want your brother back. But that person doesn’t exist. If he ever did.” (where I make my home)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

There are a lot of pieces from Mirror, Mirror that I would love to see, but maybe especially the one where Loki is looking at his reflection and notices how sick he appears, when the shadow appears behind him.

Gabriel making Lymond kneel in gather frankincense. Look, I am who I am.

Thor sitting next to ghost!Loki from it slips between my fingers now.

Curufin kneeling (SHUT UP) in front of Finrod with wounded Celegorm in his arms from After the Fire. It could be very Pieta. There’s a lot going on there. I just want it.

Steve and Loki at the top of the waterfall from into the light of a dark black night, just before Loki dives over.

Fic-writing goals for 2020:

Finish we live until we die. This is probably the biggest, most concrete one on my list. 

Write! More! Lymond fic! I have three ideas and I really like all of them - I just need to stop having staring contests and psyching myself out and actually do the writing.

Whittle that WIP list down to at least under 70. Under 65 would be even better.

That’s really all. I’m keeping them modest. Also here is “try to chill out, a little, about your pathological productivity problem” but that’s an ongoing project that maybe doesn’t count for the spirit of this question.

[soloragoldsun]

Gelfling Relationship Headcanons

I saw a post with Skeksis headcanons, and I just had to do some for our Gelfling squad. I’ll be drawing from the books, meaning I will be including Amri in this. Whether he dies or is written out of Age of Resistance, I’m keeping my precious Grottan boy alive in my posts!

...Holy crap, this ended up long. Of course, I had to write four freaking paragraphs for everyone! I may add Tavra and Onica later, but...come on. You just gotta see them together to know how they are in a relationship. I may make a separate list of headcanons just for that ship, actually.

Rian:

He is initially cold and distant toward you, as he’s afraid of becoming too close to anyone after losing Mira. Once he finally realizes that his feelings aren’t going away, however, his attitude changes completely. He is honest about how deeply he cares about you, apologizes for his behavior, and says he understands if you don’t feel the same way. When you return his feelings, he’s momentarily stunned into silence, then pulls you into a hug.

He is a total gentleman. Like, he always has a flower for you when you meet up, will tell you how wonderful you look, will hold doors open for you, and will offer you his coat if you’re cold.

He can be a bit overbearing and overprotective, as he’s terrified of losing someone he loves again. As a result, he tries keeping constant tabs on you, and has to be told to back off every now and again. He will fret over you if you’re injured or sick, and Aughra help anyone who disturbs your recovery!

He will gladly hold your hand or peck your cheek in public. Other forms of PDA, such as longer kisses and cuddles, will result in him becoming more bashful, but he never complains.

Deet:

When she first realizes her feelings for you, she is quiet about them. Due to being new to the daylighter world, she’s terrified of ruining any relationships with the friends she has made. She does catch on when you flirt, however, and becomes bolder over time, eventually kissing your cheek on impulse one day, leading to a full, mutual confession.

She loves flying with you, whether you have wings or not. If you do, she’ll lead you on long flights in the dark, racing you through the trees or through the tunnels of Grot. If you don’t, she’ll happily carry you to all her favorite places, showing you the view from up high.

She loves to cuddle. Honestly, I headcanon that all Grottan love cuddling. If you’re sitting anywhere for a long period of time, you will have Deet tucked under your chin or nestled against your side before that time ends. She will cling to you when you try to get up, insisting you hold her for a few more minutes. If you’re next to her when she wakes up in the morning her eyes immediately light up once they clear of sleep.

She is totally fine with PDA, and will sometimes fly up behind you to give you a surprise kiss on the cheek. Holding her hand is basically a requirement wherever you go, as is cuddling whenever you take a break to sit down.

Brea:

You have to be the one to confess to her, as she’s very absorbed in her research and her duties as a daughter of the All-Maudra. While she accepts your feelings, she insists that you keep your relationship a secret for now, since her mother absolutely wouldn’t approve and would try to stop it.

She is very affectionate when you’re alone, and loves to show you her favorite books. You are the only person outside her family she will lend her books to for any period of time. Quiet walks and evenings reading together take up much of your time.

She gives lavish gifts because she can, but also because she feels guilty that her status keeps your relationship from being more open. Eventually, she can’t keep it a secret any longer and tells her mother, who is not pleased. Efforts to separate you are met with defiance, leaving you both on strained terms with the All-Maudra. She eventually gives in, with the condition that your relationship ends if circumstances lead to Brea becoming the next maudra.

PDA is absolutely out of the question while your relationship is secret. Once it’s exposed, there is still a certain amount of restraint in your interactions, limited to very deliberate actions like offering one’s arm or giving a single kiss on the cheek.

Naia:

She is very up-front about her feelings once she realizes them, and once she catches on that you like her. Like, she just asks you out of the blue: “So, were you planning on saying you like me at all within the next trine?”

She loves taking you exploring through Sog, and will often invite you on hunting expeditions. She teaches you how to use a bola and spear, and is very encouraging if you mess up. Neech likes you a great deal. Sometimes, Naia will kiss his nose and send him to wherever you are, where he’ll boop your nose with his. Her family loves you, and her mother approves of your relationship as long as you don’t distract her from her eventual duties as the Drenchen maudra.

She believes in you and your abilities wholeheartedly, and will immediately shoot down anyone who insults or doubts you. Sometimes, she overestimates what you can do, and needs to be calmed down when bragging. She brags about how awesome you are all the time.

She doesn’t often initiate PDA, since she doesn’t feel the need. Everyone knows you’re together, so there’s no need to show off to make a point. Just the same, she will always accept a kiss, hug, or cuddle wherever you are.

Kylan:

He is very eloquent about his feelings for you... At least, he would be if he wasn’t so nervous about actually confessing. Eventually, he sums up his feelings in a letter, which he gives you. He then walks away while you read it, then comes back with a hopeful look in his eyes.

He writes poetry and songs for you, and will give you private performances with his firca. He says that you inspire him more than anyone else. His entire face lights up whenever he recites one of his favorite stories, or asks you to hear a new one he wrote. If you ask, he’ll play a lullaby on his firca until you fall asleep.

He thinks the world of you, calling you his greatest muse. He will sometimes gaze at you when he thinks no one is looking, and will become very bashful when caught. He endures some teasing from his friends about how much of a sap he is, but everyone is ridiculously happy for the both of you.

He becomes very flustered if you are affectionate with him in public, becoming a stammering mess and ceasing to function properly. He will hold your hand, sporting an adorable blush and a shy smile the whole time.

Amri:

Flirting for him mostly involves friendly banter and jokes. He goofs off more and more when around you, because he loves to hear you laugh. When he actually confesses, however, he becomes very hesitant and shy, unsure of whether he’s actually worthy of you.

He shows you all around Grot, introducing you to urLii and everyone in his clan. He wants to learn all about your beliefs and culture, and visit wherever your home is. If you have a pet, he will lavish attention on it and love it immediately. He will often take you to his favorite rooms in the Tomb of Relics and cuddle with you while telling you about all of the artifacts. He loves traveling and exploring, and can’t imagine doing either without you now that you’re together.

He will openly gaze at you as if you’re the greatest thing on all of Thra. Even after a long time, he remains stunned that you returned his feelings. Sometimes, you have to remind him to not think so little of himself.

He is all about PDA, because he is so proud to be your boyfriend, he just can’t hold it in. He will frequently tackle-hug you as a greeting, and will pepper your face with excited kisses, because he’s so happy to see you every time.

Gurjin:

In true Drenchen fashion, he is very forward about his feelings, bluntly explaining them and asking if you feel the same way. His near-brush with death has made it so that he doesn’t want to waste time waffling over a confession.

He is very considerate, always asking if he can kiss you or pull you closer. He will always comfort you whenever you’re injured, gladly carrying you home whether you need it or not. Falling asleep in his arms is a common occurrence.

He worries about his weakened state due to his time at the Castle of the Crystal, and wonders if he is capable of protecting you. He insists on instructing you on how to defend yourself, just in case you run into trouble when he’s not around.

He is casually affectionate wherever you are, sometimes lifting you up so that you can sit on his shoulder while he walks. Also, he gives the absolute best hugs. Ever. Of all time.

[jimlingss]

I can't believe you ended chp 16 of Jp like that...i want to fight 😭

if you fight me, i’m guaranteed to be hospitalized ((look at these noodle arms)) and then who will post the next chapter on Monday? uh huuuh, that’s what I thought. Think twice before you wanna square up. (ง •̀_•́)ง

I am now answering spoiler-y messages below, so beware....

[SPOILER ALERT] 

*SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**!SPOILER ALERT!*

Massive spoilers to come, please do not read if you have not yet read Jungle Park Chapter 16. Or go ahead and read if you’re chaotic like that.

Anonymous said: ok but what if oc and Hoseok were actually engaged....

I’m an idiot, anon - I accidentally deleted your ask before I copied it correctly lol oops, but ding ding ding! correct! you’re a winner!! i believe you sent me this message like 2 chapters ago and honestly you freaked me out by how accurate you were. dammit, I might’ve been too predictable, but you catch on quick. sorry i couldn’t answer sooner hahaha i couldn’t risk other people jumping on the same theory. you’re a genius tho, i’ll give you props for it.

Anonymous said: DATED!FOR 4 YEARS! ENGAGED! Omg wow shit really hit the fan like there is no coming back omg Wowoowoeoeoeooew I’m SHOOK like I never expected that like NEVER!!!

Anonymous said:I KNEW IT!!! i had a feeling it was either a really long relationship or they were engaged at one point. TURNS OUT IT WAS BOTH omg gahdhsjxbjsjs I'm so excited to see this all just unravel omgomgomgomg

kawaii-ing said: FhbsjshJuxYhUgrnziVJgdjsbdud JUNGLE PARK CHAPTER 16 JUST WRECKED ME YO 😱😱😱😱😱 HE KNOWS AND SHE DOESNT KNOW HE KNOWS IM SO CURIOUS FOR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW Btw lovvvveeee your writing, thanks for all your hard work boo xxx💜💜

ASDFGHJKL I SAID SHIT WOULD HIT THE FAN AND I FOLLOWED THROUGH, RIGHT?? AREN’T YOU PROUD! THERE’S NO CLICKBAIT ON THIS BLOG HAHAHA 

Anonymous said: omgg 4 years? ENGAGED?? I’m ??? jut WHAT happened

:O :O

Anonymous said: BROOOOOOO! THEY WERE ENGAGED :o *insert Pikachu meme*

pikachu meme?? hahaha is that a sarcastic surprise? so you weren’t actually? lolololol :O

Anonymous said: Ahh I loved jungle park 16!! I'm so excited for the angst to come 👀 is hoseok's car accident related to oc at all?

hmm guess you’ll have to wait and see ((but also just putting it out there that if it was related that would be pretty makjang and lol im not about that life with this series))

Anonymous said: (1)oh holy hell Kina,,,my head’s hurting bcs of JP:16. ENGAGED what?? huh. now its one of my fav chapters, like 4-6 (ah those innocent cute baby steps in hoseok’s&oc’s relationship,,,not THIS). but freaking FINALLY someone spilled the beans. i love this kind of scenes, THE truth revelation. chang’s unaware of storm hes causing with his words, hoseok’s world’s simply crushing, oc doesnt know yet whats happening&dae is helplessly watching from sidelines trying to stop the catastrophe&failing

Anonymous said:(2)thats sad. i kinda can imagine what hoseoks feeling now, plagued w question that almost no one’s willing to answer, that drive him crazy.what happened? why did oc hide the truth? what did i do, how bad did we hurt each other? why can’t i remember any of it fuck. its a perfect opportunity for insecurities&ugly thoughts&inner demons to poison his mind. and oc...her house of cards collapsed revealing things she was trying hard to escape. will she feign ignorance again or will she finally face it

Anonymous said:(3)i just hope that in the end after this storm theyll reach their own peace, whatever the outcome will be. past stays in past, but only if every issue is resolved. otherwise it might return later&be worse than before. it was a great chapter. thank you — chem

THE BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILLED!!! honestly the universe is in chaos right now lol Hoseok’s like the fuck....and oc doesn’t even know lol but yeah it’s definitely a sad situation for almost all parties. there’s still more to be revealed tho, like the actual details of what the fuck went on haha anyways, i’m glad you’re enjoying it!

Anonymous said: AAHHHHH ITS FINALLY HERE!! Thank you 💞💞. Wow it was truly a lot and honestly, I feel kinda scared for Hoseok... it’s crazy that he really doesn’t remember anything and learning all this new information is like being in another word. If this story wasn’t one about love and fluff, it could’ve totally turned into a horror story lol. Thank you again and I’m very excited to see where the story goes!!

a horror? can’t say im very good at the genre but that’s definitely an interesting concept....the more i think about it....like for someone to go through something suppper traumatic and not remember at all and someone appears in their life but it turns out that someone was actually the serial killer? dammmmn that would be really interesting. i digress, thank you for enjoying it. definitely Hoseok is lost, scared, confused.

Anonymous said: SHIT’S 🗣 HITTING 🗣 THE 🗣 FAN 🗣 omg *insert “she’s meditating” “she’s dead” meme* and the fact that this is just the beginning??? how?? what?? i’m honestly so skek for the next chapter like i dont think hoseok’s gonna go apeshit on yn but you never know now do you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ superb chapter for reals!!!! like, all of your writing is great but this chapter?? *chef’s kiss* didnt even know i was an angst fan until this chapter lol sending all my love to you!!! - chanting anon

hahhahahahhahaha there’s a lot more to unravel. now the puzzle has been exposed, we gotta start looking at the details. thank you for the message *throws chef’s kiss back* also welcome to the angst realm lol

Anonymous said: finals starts at the 20th and school ends in the 24th and we're still at chap 1 on our research. Due to stress, i thought, hey, might as well read the latest chapter bUT WHO KNEW IT WOULD BRING ME MORE STRESS. FOUR YEARS?! ENGAGED?! i feel like hoseok right now. You make such awesome stories and worlds. It affects me in so many good ways i cant even. i dont always give you my thoughts per chapter but i want you to know that i scream at every single one of them. have a nice day! - anon h.a.n.d.

oh my goodness!!! good luck on your exams!! hahah im sorry the chapter isn’t very much comfort food and kind of more wild but still happy you enjoyed it! 

Anonymous said: PT. 15 & 16?! WHAT. I COME BACK TO TWO CHAPTERS. HOLY COW. but really, like now that I know what I know, I’m so sad. I wonder what their relationship was like. That’s a lot of time to invest in someone and for it to fall apart like that... I couldn’t imagine what OC had to go through. I’m sad BUT THE DEVELOPMENT IS MAKING ME SO FREAKIN EXCITED. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US SOME ANSWERS ABOUT THE PAST. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW MUCH ELSE HE FINDS OUT.

I KNOW RIGHT?? LIKE FOUR YEARS IS A FUCKING LONG TIME. then again that was like 8 years ago. but yeah, it’s sad for both oc and Hoseok, y’know? I’M GLAD YOU’RE EXCITED!!!

Anonymous said: Great Jungle Park chapter! I'm pissed because SOMEONE SPOILED IT and i saw they were engaged before i could even click on the 'read more',,, but great chapter! I wish i could've read it without knowing, it kinda made me sad and it was not as great as it could have been.. @people spoiling, fuck off >:(( @you you're the best writer ily u nice keep going!! Can't wait to have Hoseok's full mind process over how crazy it is he doesn't remember 4 YEARS and an ENGAGEMENT (and only 2 dates huhu)

haha chill, anon. did you actually know that spoilers can make someone enjoy a story more? it’s actually a really interesting thing to google and find out more about. the chapter’s still the same whether you had an inkling of what was going on or not. you still enjoyed it too, right?  :D 

Anonymous said: CRAP OK, well, we knew it was something more than two days, but HONESTLY lol I love how you wrote y/n trying to keep it together. I could feel her fear as she lost control of the situation when Hoseok showed up. Do you think in her mind she even slightly expected him to show up? I'm assuming she's very internal w/ her thoughts/feelings seeing as she doesn't talk to anyone about what happened between her & Hobi all those years ago nor has she dealt w/ it, mostly just avoided it, would you say?

oh yeah oc was on the verge of a mental breakdown when he showed up rofl, damn near scared her. he was basically like a jumpscare LOL. but yeah for sure she didn’t expect him to come. i mean she basically told him and he was like ‘ok whatever’ and didn’t express interest and it’s not like he got an invite so she didn’t know he would actually go out of his way to show up. and yeah i agree, oc’s very internal with her feelings, or at least what happened all those years ago. it’s sensitive issues anyway that she’s left behind. or at least tried to.

tofugguk said: BROOO i LITERALLY— LITERALLY LOST IT. WHEN CHANGSUB DROPPED THEM BEING TOGETHER FOR LIKE FOUR YEARS THEN THE- “You guys even got engaged.” PART I SCREAMED. YOOOOO I CANTTT HANDLE THIS

Changsub isn’t the dumbass that we wanted. But the dumbass we needed.

((don’t you love how oc tried so hard to keep it a secret for like 16 chapters aka like near a year and some idiot comes trapezing in and in his first scene he just spills all the beans??? hahahha))

[coldtomyflash]

Weird question, and it's perfectly okay if "I don't know" is your answer: How did you manage to do grad school AND finish writing so many good fics? I'm writing the lit review for my dissertation right now, and I want to finish several WIPs I have (if nothing else, just to prove to myself that I can), but it just feels like I can barely do either, much less both. Any advice at all?

Ah, no worries! It’s not that odd a question. Actually, someone’s asked me before ^^;  My reply to them at the time was here. No need to read it, but it’s some context? 

My reply now that my head is in a healthier place is... long and winding and not actually full of that much advice but eh, I rambled as I do. If you just want the advice, scroll all the way down and it’s there. 

For starters, I’m not a normal comparison point. This isn’t to pat myself on the back, but for a variety of reasons, writing is something that comes really naturally to me. I’ll detail those reasons, but before I get into that, the point I’m illustrating here is that... sometimes I think people compare themselves to how much I wrote and what else I accomplished in that time and think “hey cool - that is a function human! Why can’t I do that?” And the answer is short answer is that my brain is programmed for pretty much one thing, and that thing is writing writing, and holy crap I was the opposite of a functional human when writing that much and that quickly.

The long answer is - 

I’ve been making up stories literally as long as I can remember. I spent my childhood consuming stories. I taught myself to read and was during school I was consistently reading about 8 grade levels above my reading level, and loved learning about narrative structure. I annoyed the shit out of my older brother by reading the same book series as he read, but guessing plot points that were going to happen either in that book or else 2-3 books out. he didn’t get how I would just know and I’d be like “it’s obvious - that’s where the story has to go!” Because I was imagining it in my head - what i would do with it, where it would go, where it had to go. Closing the page mid0chapter and imagining the next-scene, and then picking back up to see how right or wrong I was.

And I had a best friend for most of my childhood through to early adulthood with whom I made stories. Every weekend, creating narratives together, not writing them down but basically roleplaying them by talking them out (voices and all, it was a heck of a lot of fun, as much as it made me pretty much the nerdiest teen in existence). We tried to write a novel when we were 12, got about 7 chapters in. We had a lot of starts and stops on other stories too.

Which isn’t said to stroke my own ego, it’s said to highlight that I have a metric fuckton of explicit and implicit practice at storytelling. It was and sort of is my “whole life”. I also had teachers that helped me develop storytelling skills, and was really freaking lucky to go to a school with an AP program for English that seriously stretched my ability to write fast. We had to write an essay every single class, during class, and have it finished by the end of class (or in less time if we had lecture stuff to go over too) in my last year of high school. The essays could be creative response (i.e., short stories). I wrote a short story almost every week in the space of an hour when I was 17. By the time I got to the end of year final and actually got to use a computer and type that shit instead of hand-cramping halfway through, I somehow managed to write the two-essay final in the allotted 3 hours and, i shit you not, had a wordcount of 6000 words. 

That’s still my record. It was probably a dumpster fire but I got 100% probably for sheer volume.

Anyway that was over a decade ago, but the whole reason this life story is pertinent is because - 

I have practice. The only way to improve at anything, to get faster at it, for it to ease, is to practice. Practice at storytelling, practice at having to set a scene using just words sitting in my BFF’s room and trying to describe the image I had in my head for how I wanted her to see the scene as it was playing out. Practice at writing fast and getting feedback on how to write. Practice implicitly at trying to imagine what routes stories can take. Practice taking stories apart and piecing them back together, in my head, all the time.

So that’s part of it. 

The other part, and this is what I said in my previous post, was depression. I was seriously fucking burnt out and depressed when I started writing coldflash fic, and grad school took a huge toll on my mental health. It’s easier to write when you’re doing it to procrastinate working on your dissertation, and easier to keep writing when you get positive feedback and it feeds those lovely dopamine gremlins in your brain who aren’t getting any positive validation from grad school because holy damn that shit is hard.

I had no balance in my life for a long time. It wasn’t good. I went to counselling. I got more balance. Fic slowed down. Still finished, but not 120k words in 3 months (that was the pace when I started fic writing...jfc I don’t know how I managed.) Life got harder. Fic was now harder to write. I got more counselling. Fic was easier to write. I moved around the world. Fic got harder to write. I started anti-depressants. Narratives now seem to be flowing again. 

Regardless of the state of my mental health though, I’ve never written as much as quickly as I did during the middle of grad school. And I think that’s because I was very narratively pent up when I started writing fic. I had been so busy and pushing myself so damn hard in grad school that I didn’t make almost any time for stories, for fic, for imagining my own stories. I was suppressing that side of myself in the service of Focus. So when I burnt out, my narrative side rebounded and said “fuck that noise, I still exist, and we’re making space for me”. It took over. I came literally a hair’s breadth from quitting my PhD post candidacy. Idk what type of program you’re in, but business schools in North America? It’s a 5 year PhD typically, and I was at the end of year 3 and eyeing the door.

Anyway - I say all that because - 

I am not a good example and you should not do what I did. Finishing that many long WIPs that quickly wasn’t healthy, and was only possible because I didn’t do much else at the time, and had a lifetime of practice and a narrative rebound to make it even possible. 

But - 

My actual advice?

1) Practice. Practice. Practice. 

Not all at once, but everything counts. Daydreaming counts. Watching shows and thinking of how they could be improved counts. Talking out story ideas with friends counts. Just make it fun. Practice is something we think of as arduous and annoying. Learning new words is practice. Meeting new people and considering their traits is practice. Everything can be practice for writing. All the research you do can be practice for writing. (Random note: a childhood coping mechanism for anxiety that I had was to narrate what I was doing to myself in my head in the 3rd person. Like telling a story of myself walking to gym class in my own head. That was also practice.)

2) Have fun with it! 

Don’t making writing an obligation. Then it’s another thing on the list of things you avoid. Finishing stories often feels like an obligation. I’m going through this right now with Needs Must. It can be hard to complete a WIP because you start to have internal anxieties about disappointing readers, not living up to expectations, exhaustion from that narrative, distraction / temporary loss of interest (which is normal! and not actually a bad thing!). All of that then makes you feel guilty, which makes it impossible to get into a creative space to write. You can’t work on the thing you’re avoiding.

3) It’s okay to give your WIPs breathing space. 

When you hit a wall, you may need to set it aside and read it again in a month with fresh eyes. You may need to treat your story like someone else’s story. That’s, again, literally where I’m at right now with Needs Must. I just reread a bunch of it and hadn’t really forgotten the details but once they’re on the page they’re out of my head, and so taking some time before going back to reread it made it easier for me to think of like I think of every other story: “what would I do next with this? Oh that’s a twist, that needs to come back later. There’s a theme here, we’ve seen that three times. What’s the best ending I, as a reader now, can imagine for this?”

If avoidance, guilt, and/or writer’s block aren’t your issue, and it’s literally just down to time management - 

4) Your graduate degree is more important than your WIPs. 

Your WIPs aren’t going anywhere, they don’t have a deadline, and your readers will wait for you, and new ones will find you. Time management is an essential, awful, part of being an academic. 

I get more done, both at work and creatively on fic, when I’m just a bit too busy, but that’s me. Figure out what is optimal for you, and do it. When do you get the most writing done? When you’re relieved? When you’re anxious? Late at night? First thing in the morning? When does it flow? When won’t it ruin your graduate career?

(Seriously I was writing fic at work last week and was kicking myself. I don’t have time for that shit! Set boundaries on your time!)

But full serious here, graduate school is exhausting, and almost inherently de-motivating, and even the best damn students eye the door a lot of the time, even if they do finish. It’s stressful and you feel constantly powerless. It’s a lot to need to cope with. I found writing to be a way to cope. That lit review you’re working on? Yeah, it’s zapping your time and energy. That’s normal (unfortunately). And it’s good to give yourself breaks from that to write. Don’t feel guilty for taking time here and there for yourself - to write, or to not write. To relax, unplug, unwind. To close your eyes and daydream (if you’re me) or have a bubble bath (if you’re my sister), or do whatever helps you honestly, genuinely destress. The best thing you can do for both writing and for graduate school is to take breaks and take time for yourself. There is actual science on the importance of breaks, and academics are fucking notorious for putting too much pressure on themselves to actually relax.

5) If you’re burnt out and/or depressed - seek help! 

Most universities have resources for mental health! Talk to a doctor! Don’t put too much stress and pressure on yourself! Almost half of grad students are mentally ill at some point!

6) Talk out your stories with friends! 

I know I already said this under “practice” but having a fandom friend to bounce ideas with and cheer you on is amazing and essentially. I was in constant contact with Bealeciphers when I started writing, and now I have a different friend who’s helped me the past couple years with writing and developing my stories. Mostly they cheer me on, and when I’m stuck, I tell them where the story is going and what I need help with. But honestly, writing doesn’t need to happen in a vacuum and doesn’t need to be you hunched over a laptop in the dark all alone and staring blankly at a screen (I’m definitely not projecting here, no siree). It’s amazing how motivating it is and how much it can help you stay on track to check in regularly with other writing friends!

7) Pick your battles.

You say you have a... couple(?) of WIPs? How many are you juggling? Is it too many? Do you need to set one (or two??) aside? When my steam was slowly and AATJS and Tumbling Together started to feel like a chore, I set TT aside and took a month break from AATJS then dived right back into AATJS (with the help of the friend mentioned above, cheering me on) because I knew it would be the harder one to finish, and the one that I feared I’d never finish if I put it aside too long. I tackled the biggest hurdle first. If that’s the type of thing for you, I recommend it. Pick the story that’s either the most or least likely to get finished, and focus your energy there.

Another battle-picking thing here? It’s okay to outsource. I’m terrible for not using a proofreader beta. It’s a weird control thing, despite the fact that I love people pointing out typos in my works so I can freaking fix them. The point here is: don’t be like me. If you suck at finding your own typos, use a beta or proofreader. My writer friend who helps me helps when I get stuck. I help them when they need feedback on specific scenes and tones, and I’ve recently discovered they hate editing (I love editing) so this entertains me to no end. Just - you don’t have to do it all yourself. If you feel like you do, see points 5 and 6 again.

Aaaannnddd that’s that. Whew. I just spent... wow, too long on this. I spent as much time on this as I did on my own grad student’s lit review I was providing feedback on today ^^; #whoops 

[hollyand-writes]

A Review of the Year – Writing Meme 2018

I haven’t actually been tagged in this one this year, but I’m gonna do it anyway because I want to 😂 Here’s the 2017 writing review for comparison -- I was tagged for that one by @thejourneymaninn, who I tag again (among others at the bottom of this post! SORRY FOR TAGGING YOU ALL TWICE TODAY) for this year’s version ❤️ 

Most of 2018 was spent writing a book I was hired to write by a client, which was published at the end of summer, so I had to put all fanfic writing largely on hold until then. So -- considering how busy I was writing (and then later helping to edit and publish) The Book™, I’m happy with my output for 2018 tbh. 

Strangely enough, while I certainly published fewer fics in 2018 than I did in 2017 (1 one-shot and updated 2 longfics), I actually wrote more words, both published and unpublished, despite being far busier professionally! 

Total number of completed stories:

31 completed on AO3, 3 still in progress.

1 of those completed fics was written in 2018 (and 1 of the 3 longfics in progress was started in 2018).

Total word count:

47,213 words posted to AO3 in 2018 (226,518 total from 2013–2018)

Plus another 28,100 words written but not posted anywhere

Fandoms written in:

Dragon Age 2. I’m only interested in DA2 fic, and I don’t see that changing.

Looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?:

Until I did this review, I didn’t realise I actually wrote more in 2018 than I did in 2017, despite being so busy writing The Book™? Which has really shocked me -- I wasn’t actually expecting to write much this past year, but I didn’t realise I wrote as much as I actually had! 

I wrote 75,313 words of fanfic in total in 2018 (compared to just under 59k in 2017, and about 150k in 2016) and won NaNoWriMo this year -- something I failed to do last year -- and published only one completed fanfic (an M!Handers one-shot) to AO3 during the year, while continuing another longfic started in 2017 and posting another longfic in 2018 (most of the latter was written in 2017, though, just not posted anywhere).

What’s your own favourite story of the year?:

I hate to admit it, but I’m going to have to say “A Chance Engagement” -- the Regency AU Carver/Merrill WIP written in the style of Jane Austen (currently 41,971 words and 25 chapters long), if only because I continue to have a ton of fun writing it, even though it’s hard work (especially with all the research) and it’s much harder to write than any other fic I’ve ever written. 

Did you take any writing risks this year?:

I think the main risk I took in 2018 was publishing longfics before I actually finish writing them (like “Employer Relations”, the Gym AU M!Hawke/Anders WIP), especially with my poor track record of finishing WIPs I’ve posted on AO3. (I didn’t even get to update “The Templar And The Blood Mage” this year, let alone finish it, and that one’s been going since 2013!) So I guess I’m taking the risk that I might not finish the longfics I have in progress on AO3 😂 

Last year I said “Everything I ever write and post is a risk, because I never know how anything will be received.” That also stands for this year, I think. 

Do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?:

I would like to finish and fully post at least one (ideally all three) of the DA2 longfics I’ve currently got in progress on AO3, and start FINALLY posting up (and finish writing) “How To Push Up A Daisy”, the Carver/Merrill Gym AU longfic I started writing in 2016(!!!) 

Best story of the year?:

My one and only finished work published in 2018 is a 1,505-word fanfic called “Open Book” (rated M, pairing M!Hawke/Anders, canonverse setting), and while I wouldn’t call it my best story I suppose it is my best finished story, if only by default. With 483 hits, 49 kudos and 7 people leaving comments, it did OK on AO3 in my opinion, though. 

In terms of my best story, though, that would probably go to one of my longfics in progress in 2018. 

Most popular story of the year?:

As per my 2017 review, it depends how you define popular:

“A Chance Engagement” easily has the most kudos and hits (1,308 hits, 98 kudos), but that’s probably because I started it in 2017 

“A Chance Engagement” continues to have the most comments (a whopping 416 418 comments!!! – although only 212 213 are actually from readers, and I try to reply to each comment if I can)

“Employer Relations” has the best kudos-to-hits ratio (191 hits, 39 kudos – hardly any hits 'cos it’s only 2 chapters in and the fandom’s dying LOL)

My “most popular” fics are still fics I wrote before 2018.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

Nothing I wrote this year, I don’t think...? I mean, I’m always happy to receive more kudos on “A Chance Engagement” but that goes without saying 😉😂 

Most fun story to write:

It’s a toss-up between the following two:

“A Chance Engagement” – the Regency AU Carver/Merrill longfic that’s in progress. Because I am getting to re-read a lot of Jane Austen and delve into Regency England history while writing it, and I love it 

“Employer Relations” – the Gym AU M!Hawke/Anders longfic, because HELLO gym AU / weightlifting AU, what more could you want?!? LOL 

Story with the single sexiest moment:

I have absolutely no idea, sorry. I’ll leave this one to my readers to tell me 😂 

Most sweet story:

Again, I’m not really sure. Probably the Regency AU? If only because it’s meant to be a chaste, teen-rated, slow-burn romance? Not sure if it qualifies... 

“Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you!” story:

Last year I said “I wrote one of these in 2017, but unlike 2016 I didn’t post it anywhere. Suffice to say, it contains a very niche kink I secretly have.” 

Of course I wrote another in 2018, but again I didn’t post it anywhere 😂 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

Nothing that I’ve written this year, tbh. 

Most unintentionally telling story:

Nothing that I’ve posted publicly, as yet.

Hardest story to write:

“Open Book” (M!Hawke/Anders one-shot). This one was for the Handers Reverse Big Bang 2018, and I struggled with it so much that I couldn’t even write a fic with the minimum 1,500 word count until something like two hours before my posting deadline. I struggled with writing this fic for weeks -- I just had zero inspiration and I wouldn’t say I was that happy with the final result. 

Biggest disappointment:

Not finishing any of my longfics in progress. I was hoping I’d have one of them finished and fully posted by the end of 2018, but sadly it was not to be. 

Biggest surprise:

“A Chance Engagement” continues to surprise and delight me by how many comments it receives. Thank you so much, everyone, for your support ❤️ 

Tagging: 

No obligation to do this if you don’t want to, but for the second time today (I’M SO SORRY IF I’M BOTHERING YOU ALL) I tag: @barbex, @storybookhawke, @mhandersmyheart, @ungenue, @andrew-blackthorn, @ayantiel, @stitchcasual, @tearsofwinter, @greensphynx-thecloset, @todisturbtheuniverse, @manicparadox, @bexterrr, @ethydium, @mikkeneko, @kagetsukai, @dovabunny, @wardsarefunctioning, @rhythm-diary, @aban-asaara, @thetemplarandtherogue, @gothkimmyschmidt, @reikah, @uchidachi and any other writer I’ve missed off who might want to do this (no obligation to do this, of course!) ❤️

[catsbythegreat]

Fic Round Up 2018

I did this last year and it was fun, so it’s time to see how this year stands up: 

-Total year-long word count: 291,102 (about 40,000 more than last year)

Word count by fandom: - too lazy to do this but I’m going to assume that almost all of them are BSD 

Fics completed: 56 (down from 65)

*for the fics posted I’ll only post my faves except the chapter fics, which I’ll post all of since there’s not a lot.

Drabbles: - word for a threat that’s also a surprise prompt (skk) - don’t you dare shut me out prompt (skk)  - you’re trembling prompt (atsushi and kyouka friendship)  - what happens if i do this prompt (skk)  - teenage dazai realizes he might like chuuya oh no (skk) - not really a drabble but still a post -- bsd bake off au - chuuaku week day 2: soft (chuuaku)  - things you said when we were the happiest we ever were prompt (chuuaku)  - things you said with no space between us prompt (skk)  - things you said while we were driving (skk)  - things you said after sex prompt (chuuaku) 

Oneshots: - let me help you, skk - Dazai notices Chuuya’s sleeping problems.  - Aftermath, skk - Dazai tells Chuuya about a mission gone wrong.  - are you home?, skk - Chuuya trusts Dazai to help him when he needs it, but not completely.  - the opposite of alone, skk - Chuuya can’t sleep, so he texts Dazai.  - Spiralling, skk - Chuuya always wondered if Corruption would tear him apart.  - hope that something good will happen next, skk - Dazai + Chuuya + talk in a cabin - Constancy, skk - the day Chuuya came home with a diagnosis, Dazai considered moving out. - tired, skk - Dazai hates Chuuya post-Corruption.  - Pick Up the Pieces series, skk - Chuuya gets tortured, he and Dazai decide to help each other. - lend me a shoulder, chuuaku - Dead Apple missing scene where Akutagawa helps Chuuya. - Perseverance, skk - figure skating au part 2, Olympics!  - Satisfaction, skk - figure skating au part 3, Worlds!  - Storm, skk - Dazai and Chuuya and one blanket in a snow storm.  - Yokohama: Unsolved, skk - Dazai and Chuuya are ghost hunters.  - Untraceable Children, skk - Psycho-Pass au, They meet after Chuuya kills an inspector.  - Spilled Ink, skk - parallel universes au feat. the stuff from Beast - Holding Pattern, skk - Never Let Me Go au (organ harvesting rip)  - isn’t life hard, kunichuu - Kunikida thinks Chuuya is a good man. Chuuya knows he isn’t.  - you’re safe here - Atsushi comes out to Dazai.  - Bad Patients, Yosano & Dazai - Yosano treats Dazai.  - At First Sight, skk - First mission fic!  - Fairy Lights, skk - Dazai realizes Chuuya has never celebrated a proper Christmas.  - for one man, sskk - SSKK in the aftermath of Dazia’s death. (Beast au)  - Everybody Lives, kunikidazai - Kunikida believes he can save everyone.  - to satisfaction, chuuya/ango - Ango wants to thank Chuuya.  - Birdsong - When Chuuya was younger, he sang to the moon. (Chuuya & Kyouka siblings) - Never Enough, chuuaku - Chuuya knows what Dazai does to Akutagawa, but he doesn’t know Akutagawa. 

Chapter Fics: - This Autumn Will End - Yosano wants to heal, but all she’s ever known is hurt.  - Fighters, chuuaku - Chuuya and Akutagawa’s developing relationship

Works-in-progress: 3 -Gifted - skk, experimental research facility au - only human, skk - Special Abilities Department Chuuya AU. After Dazai escapes the Port Mafia, Chuuya is sent by the government to gain his trust. 

This year I wrote and posted: 56 fics and 2 in-progress fics 

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I never expect to write as much fic as I end up writing. 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Some of the gen-fics. 

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? I have a lot of them actually but the ones that come to mind right now are the two later stories in the Revival series because figure skating is fun to write about. The first one was written in 2017 but I put a lot of work into the two that were written in 2018 and I hope to add to the series later. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? The Soukoku Trope Bingo fics and the ADA Week fics (like this one) were all territory I haven’t written for the most part (except the figure skating fic.) This Autumn Will End was also a risk because I’d never written Yosano in that much detail before. I got to know the new characters I was writing a bit more as well as the genres. I also learned that no one likes my kunikidazai LMAO but people are willing to give my lack of knowledge in some areas a pass. I also learned that I can write a lot of things I didn’t think I could. It’s just difficult. 

Your best story of this year: Aside from “only human,” Aftermath. It’s not a big au or even a long fic but I’m proud of it and I think it helped me write more fics this year in which Dazai and Chuuya’s relationship grows to become more trusting. 

Your most popular story of this year: only human, which isn’t surprising! It’s the fic I’ve written the most words for and its a multi-chap so people are exposed to it over and over again. 

Story of yours most under-appreciated by the universe, in your opinion: Everybody Lives. I think this is the one fic where I was nervous about what I was writing but felt tentatively proud of at the same time, but it didn’t get a response. I don’t know if it’s because it’s kunikidazai and not a lot of people are reading it, or if it’s because it’s bad kunikidazai. Either way, I still don’t know whether or not it deserves appreciation but I guess I can say it’s under appreciated. 

Most fun story to write: Yokohama: Unsolved. I mean...any story based on Buzzfeed Unsolved is gonna be a good time. 

Story with the single sexiest moment: adrenaline. Like I said last year, I’m a bad judge of this. This fic doesn’t have any sex in it at all, but listen that scene where Chuuya threatens Ango in Dead Apple...just...yeah. I would pay with my life too. So it’s kind of like that but with a gun.  

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: you know what? Even among the kink bingo fics I never got here. Compared to last year that’s kind of disappointing. 

Story that shifted your own perceptions of the characters: only human made me think about Dazai as a character more and made me realize that I like things about him. 

Hardest story to write: This Autumn Will End (which could also actually go into the category above for Yosano) because I had never written so much about Yosano’s character AND it was long AND it was an au and I didn’t know if people would like it. Also, Holding Pattern was a fic I had to write and erase and rewrite a lot of, more so than other fics. Also Never Enough was part of a rolling remix so figuring out how to remix the fic before it was a bit hard, but once I got an idea things flowed. 

Biggest disappointment: all of the top Chuuya kink bingo fics. Aside from that gunplay fic, I’m perfectly happy forgetting all of those things exist. 

Biggest surprise: Pick Up the Pieces series. Was meant to be a one-shot for whumptober, ended up being skk relationship development and I kind of still think about it and how it fits into other stories and how I’ve characterized Chuuya and Dazai in general. 

Most unintentionally telling story: Only You and Drowning 

Favorite opening line(s): -“I wonder how many times you’re gonna almost-die before someone gets fed up with your shit and lets you.” (Only You)  - “Ghosts don’t exist, but I’m not above using them to scare Chuuya.” - Dazai Osamu, interview, March 2018 (Yokohama: Unsolved) 

Favorite closing line(s): - “Why do I do it? To cope with depression................and it’s fun to see Chuuya get scared!” - Dazai Osamu, interview, June 2018 (Yokohama: Unsolved)  - “In a strange way, despite being a coward, Dazai had also been brave. Chuuya would be brave in his own way, too.” (Holding Pattern)

Favorite 5 line(s) from anywhere: - “No!” Chuuya took a shaky breath. “Of answering questions. Everyone always asks me questions, or tells me what to do, but no one talks to me and I’m tired of it because other people actually talk to each other and I keep seeing it and I want it, but you won’t give it to me.” (only human) - “I’ve never met someone who works so hard,” Dazai continued, “to be the person they want to be.” (Only You)  - “Hello?” Dazai called out. “Is anyone here? We’re a couple of not-scientists and we need someone to explain things to us.” (Yokohama: Unsolved) - “You act like someone who knows how to love.” (Never Enough)  - “He feels oddly detached from his body, the pain and Dazai’s hand around his wrist being the only things really grounding him, keeping him from thinking that maybe he’s just a shell and that Nakahara Chuuya doesn’t exist at all.” (At First Sight) - “Back then, a hand had reached out and freed him.Ever since, he’d had to do pretty much everything himself.” (Pick Up the Pieces, I can’t count LMAO) 

Top 5 scenes from anywhere you would choose to have illustrated from anywhere - Chuuya pointing the Dominator at Dazai in Untraceable Children.  - Chuuya destroying the tank in Pick Up the Pieces.  - Chuuya during or after his free program in Satisfaction.  - The ending scene of lend me a shoulder.  - Dazai and Chuuya with their hot chocolates in Fairy Lights.  - I’m sure there’s more but it’s hard to think. 

Fic-writing goals for next year: Finish only human and/or Gifted and write the mutli-chaptered Psycho-Pass au because I have it all outlined which is a first but I haven’t written it. Also write more skk figure skating fics! I also want to create a world/au that people will be interested in talking about but idk what that is yet because even though I love au’s I’m also not great at that sort of thing. 

[seoulsborne123]

Fanfic 2018 Review

First of all I'd like to complain about this damn mobile app. Why can't I highlight the original post so I can copy/paste the template??? And why is it so hard to highlight texts so I can bold each line?! Fuck.

Anyway.

I thought I didn't write anything at all last year, but it turns out I did so here I go. Thanks to @eyeliner-vampire for the tag.

Total number of stories (completed/WIP: (1/4)

Contact Mind Reading (fin); Finding the Balance; Game, Set, and Match; GH/Bloodborne crossover; Ascension

Total word count: 11.5k of published

Fandom written in: Ghost Hunt, Bloodborne, own shit

Looking back, did you write more fic than you would this year, less, or about what you'd expected:

As much as I expected. I started grad school in August last year and really didn't have time to do much writing or drawing. I am hoping this year will be a little better.

What's your own favorite story of the year?

Contact mind reading. It was nice to let the idea stew for a while before writing it out. Usually I'm the kind of person who comes up and writes out all sorts of ideas first, then I shave off what doesn't belong, etc. For this I had to do careful research about the Contact Mind Reading definition. I even watched videos on how people do it, read some Hocus pocus books, some more legit sounding ones, etc.

Did you take any writing risks this year? Do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?

Not really much risk technique-wise I think. Maybe you could count going for a Masako/Mai/Naru ot3 plot a risk. Haha. As for my goals, I would like to write at least 3 chapters for Game, Set, Match so I can inch toward wrapping that up...

Best story of the year? Contact mind reading. I feel it was very on character and I really tried to make it like canon. People also told me it sounded legit so I believe them.

Most popular story of the year? Game, set, match

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Contact Mind Reading. Not many people left reviews (though those that did really gave me such an overwhelming kudos). I think because most people read fanfic to deviate away from canon, maybe? That's why tennis god Oliver Davis is a bigger draw.

Most fun story to write:

Game, Set, Match is always fun. Some of the scenes are drawn from experience, some quirks of the characters were from people I knew. This makes it very organic for me and... Just fun to write.

Story with the single sexiest moment:

None yet. But I had a sexy moment for Finding the Balance that I have not been able to write at all, and some mild teasing with Game, Set, Match. I always chicken out of these...

Most sweet story:

Sweet? None... I just realized my stories/chapters last year was mainly about Masako being left behind or being sad! Whut.

"Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story:

Nothing, anything is possible for me. Except sexy times I guess. Damn, one day!

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters and most unintentionally telling story:

Contact Mind Reading. I really tapped into Masako there. This led to Finding the Balance, and got me thinking more about her role on Game, Set, Match.

Hardest story to write:

Game, Set, Match. "But you said that was 'fun' to write!" Yes yes, but it's just so hard to sit down and actually work on it!!

Biggest disappointment:

Myself. Lul, no. Nothing really. I'm okay with last year. Things come up, it's no big deal. The world isn't ending so I'll try again this year.

Biggest surprise:

That I actually wrote. I seriously didn't remember. I thought it was all 2017.

Tag: @flychansan @tiffotcf @samantha-girlscout and I'm not sure who else haven't been tagged so please fill one out... If you do end up writing one, I hope you tag me so I can make sure to read it!

[taaroko]

Post-IW MCU Rewatch: Captain America: Civil War

Time for a bunch of in-fighting!

Was there any significance to those code words?

Howard and Maria. :(

Freaking Runlow.

I read something about how they’re all being very bad at undercover, sitting around in sunglasses and hats. They’re being like actors undercover from paparazzi, not low-profile spies. Whoops.

Runlow’s team is kinda lucky the rubble from that crash didn’t block their entrance.

This is some top notch fighting from both Cap and Sam. Sam’s wings are super versatile.

Whee, Steve getting a telekinetic boost from Wanda!

Ohh, it’s Nat who used the motorcycle as a projectile in this one. Okay. I thought it happened at least twice.

Heeeey Cap’s shield is half covered in soot. Symbolism.

FREAKING RUNLOW.

That blast was either going to kill everyone in the square or the people in that building. If it had been the former, it wouldn’t have been a big international crisis.

Aged-down Tony is easily the best of that kind of special effect we’ve ever seen. *suppresses memories of CG Leia*

I think that seminar was the first we've seen of the "philanthropist" part of billionaire genius playboy philanthropist. (Donating a collection of modern art to the Boy Scouts is too weird to count.)

Hi Dean Pelton.

Awkward actress recycling! But it was worth it. She’s so good as Mariah.

Vision’s social graces are so funny.

Uggggggh General Ross. Who is now Secretary of State.

Man that footage would’ve made Bruce so sad.

“For the last four years, you’ve operated with unlimited power and no supervision.” Wait does that mean it’s been four years since Winter Soldier? This timeline is a freaking mess.

I know where Thor and Banner are!

Okay, Zimo talks about painstakingly decrypting the Hydra files Nat leaked on the internet, but did he start doing that before Ultron or after? How long has it been since Ultron?

Tony’s face.

What makes this movie so good is that both Tony and Steve have very good points and multiple movies of backstory that brought them to those positions. The Tony of IM1 would’ve been anti-Accords, and the Steve from the ‘40s would’ve been pro-Accords, but here they are now. And the Accords were very inevitable after Ultron.

Noooo Peggy.

Headcanon: the non-Steve pall-bearers were Peggy’s son and grandsons.

“Plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say ‘No. You move.’”

I love that Nat’s priority is sticking together as a team, but she does get Steve’s position. (I mean obviously; she defects to his team halfway through.) Steve’s friendships with Nat and Sam are so wonderful.

Hey T’Challa!

Does the actor who plays T’Chaka have a glass eye? *internet research* Holy crap, he does. This is from John Kani’s IMDB page: Kani lost his left eye during a beating by South African police after returning home from a Broadway production of "Sizwe Banzi Is Dead", which was critical of Apartheid. He survived after being left for dead and subsequently won a 1975 Tony Award for his performance.

They did a really good job introducing T’Challa, and his arc in this movie is excellent.

Dangit Steve and Sharon would’ve kissed if Sam hadn’t interrupted.

More hats and sunglasses. You guys look real suspicious wearing hats and sunglasses INDOORS, especially when you start passing files around.

Man, Bucky just wants to buy some plums. Also, so cool that Seb got to go home to Romania and speak his native language for this bit.

Isn’t it easier to shoot out the lock than all three sets of hinges?

Bucky just came here to buy some plums and honestly he’s feeling so attacked right now.

So much multi-storey falling! I know these guys are all tougher than normal people but it’s still very stressful to watch!

These movies are always doing ridiculously cool things with motorcycles.

Rhodey makes a pretty good enforcer.

Vis and Wanda are adorable. But the conversation about the Mind Stone is really painful now.

The heck?! Tony thinks Wanda is unstable enough to cause another “incident” just by going to the store? Do Tony and Wanda still dislike each other or something? I guess they never reconciled over the whole thing where his tech killed her parents and she used her powers against him.

A fancy pen is not a convincing argument, Tony.

Steve was so ready to be thrilled for Tony if he and Pepper were gonna have a baby!

Tony just called Wanda a weapon of mass destruction. Either he’s playing devil’s advocate or he’s being really unsympathetic right now.

Bucky! Plug your ears and go LALALALALA!

I like how every time someone does the sleeper activation codes, he walks around Bucky in a circle. Is that part of it or just a cool filming thing?

Aaaaargh that elevator shaft fall.

Tony’s face when Bucky fires his gun into his glove.

Nat’s signature move is useless against Bucky.

RECOGNIZE YOU FROM WHEN?! The mission he foiled, or something else? I must know. Please answer this question, Black Widow movie.

Okay. The helicopter thing. It does not make sense. It should’ve just lifted Steve right off the ground. It is capable of carrying several passengers. One dude hanging onto it when there’s only a single occupant would not weigh it down. The part where he holds onto the railing and keeps it from flying away does work, though.

Heeeeey the scene with Bucky’s arm in the clamp is the exact midpoint of the movie. I don’t know why I find that interesting, but suddenly I very much want to analyze the significance of these moments. This one is a major turning point. The revelation of other Winter Soldiers. Team Cap now has an urgent mission.

Tony has an arc reactor scar!

HI PETER! *hug attacks him*

I love every single second of Peter’s intro scene.

“It’s a long story. I was—” “Lordy! Can you even see in these!” Bahaha, Tony cut off even a conversation of origin story.

Okay, the moment Tony leaned forward while Peter was talking obliquely about great power and responsibility. That was when he became emotionally invested in this kid. They’re both motivated by a sense of guilt and obligation.

Wanda and Clint’s methods for getting past Vision makes their team lose a bit of high ground.

Steve and Sharon’s kiss could’ve been handled less like an afterthought, but the reason I’m still cool with it is Sam and Bucky’s reactions.

How’d these three big dudes end up in a little VW Beetle anyway?

Hahaha, each team has a fanboy on it. Scott on Team Cap and Peter on Team Iron Man.

“Thinks for thanking of me!”

Yessss. Airport fight.

Um, why did Tony not even pause when Cap mentioned the other five Winter Soldiers?

Oh Peter I love you so much. And I love that Tom has this rivalry with Anthony and Seb in all the behind the scenes stuff.

“He also said I should go for your legs.” Man this is almost a vine reference.

Scott in Tony’s suit is hilarious.

Scott’s reaction to becoming Giant-Man is probably the single greatest two seconds in the movie.

Man, Clint just wants to make new friends, but T’Challa isn’t interested in this Avenger nonsense.

More tasing!

100%, Peter is trolling these geezers by pretending he’s not a gigantic Star Wars nerd.

It took me several watches to realize that when Scott says “Does anyone have any orange slices,” he’s making a reference to little league sports, and how the moms bring orange slices for after the games.

Tony went to check on Peter even though they hadn’t caught Steve and Bucky yet!

Rhodey’s fall is horrific. And the way they frame it so that you only see the ground when he hits it. Agonizing.

Part of me thinks Rhodey should’ve died right there, but there is rather a lot of precedent for falls not being fatal if you’re in an Iron Man suit. And if he’d died, I don’t think they ever would’ve been able to get past this split. Getting kinda paralyzed is an acceptable compromise.

“Are you incapable of letting go of your ego for one goddamn second?” Okay that is a really interesting line. Tony is being pretty egotistical about the concept of surrendering accountability to the UN. He has been rather bad at considering alternatives. Admittedly, he’s on the clock, and then worse people will go after his friends, but he’s allowing for zero nuance here. He knows these people. He knows they don’t do things without good reasons. Steve was right that you can’t let accidents stop you from doing the right thing. Tony is letting it cripple him.

Tony is practically on Team Cap at this point, with the secretly flying after him and all.

Hahaha, Nat has a labeled gun rack. And Bucky is using her guns!

I’m freaking pissed at the trailer for this movie. It would have been a very good twist that instead of going to Siberia to fight five more Winter Soldiers, they were walking into a trap where the in-fighting was about to become far more personal. But I didn’t get to experience that twist, because the trailer includes shots of Tony fighting Bucky and Steve in this location. That trailer made me stop watching trailers entirely for over a year. I do think trailers can be good so you know at least the type of movie you’re about to see, but they should not give away stuff like this. I think Marvel has gotten better at that since then.

Okay, so it’s been over a year since Ultron.

Green is not a flaw in blue eyes, jerk. It’s cool.

Surveillance cameras don’t usually have sound. But oh boy this is devastating.

This moment. Tony coming apart and attacking Bucky. This is exactly the same thing that Peter Quill does to Thanos. This is the reason Tony figures out what Peter’s about to do before he does it and tries to get him to stop and think. But he knows pretty well that there’s no stopping and thinking in a situation like this.

Zimo is a lot like Frank Castle, except that his family died as accidental collateral damage, not a targeted setup.

“The living are not done with you yet.” Such a great line.

“I could do this all day.” Tony has taken the role of the bully from the first one now.

I think for a second, Tony was legit afraid Steve was going to kill him. But Steve was never the one driven to that point. This still does not count as Steve having a dark side.

Okay, Steve dropping the shield was pretty much a concession. You don’t want me using the shield your dad made if my best friend killed him? Fair enough.

TONY STANK.

Tony trolling Secretary Ross will never stop being funny.

Okay, on the whole, while I sympathize more with Cap, I think I’m actually on Team Iron Man when it comes to the Accords. The Accords are an overcorrection of long-running problem. There should have been oversight this entire time, and I think the idea is that SHIELD was that oversight until Winter Soldier. Steve didn’t want to be the dupe of a corrupt system again, so he no longer tolerated oversight, but that really can’t be his call. How transparent are the Avengers being about their missions? He doesn’t run around saving people from street thugs, he does military-style operations all around the world. That’s not the kind of thing anyone should be able to make unilateral decisions about. He’s doing what Tony used to do in his solo films. But now that the PR has gotten bad enough and the novelty of superheroes has worn off, suddenly everyone realizes it’s not a great plan to let them run around unsupervised.

But Cap’s side of the argument is valid too. Superheroes save the world. Collateral damage is a much better outcome than what would’ve happened if they hadn’t been there. Obadiah would’ve continued supplying both sides of conflicts in the Middle East, stoking the fires of war for his own gain. Red Skull would’ve blown up most of the major cities in the US and taken over. Killian would’ve had the world on its knees with his scam. Malekith would’ve destroyed all the nine realms. Loki would’ve taken Earth. Hydra would’ve wiped out anyone who could challenge their reign of terror with Project Insight. Etc. Some of the villains rose up as consequences of the heroes (Ivan, Ultron, and Zimo, for instance), but most of the threats exist independent of the heroes’ actions, which is why we need heroes.

After how much I’ve loved Tony in all the movies so far (though he was a bit iffy in Ultron), I was really surprised by how many moments he has of being kind of a jerk in Civil War. But it doesn’t make me dislike him. This is his guilt complex on overdrive. And losing it over finding out about how his parents died is heartbreaking. But the most redeeming thing for him in the movie is Peter Parker. He recognized a similar guilt-based motivation in Peter while they talked, and in that moment, he became extremely protective of this kid. He brings him in because he knows he’s got a really handy method of incapacitating people without harming them. He’s not recklessly endangering a child, because he knows none of the Avengers will use lethal force. And his concern for Peter’s well-being is actually what costs him victory in the airport fight. He could’ve apprehended Steve and Bucky, but instead he had to make sure Peter was okay.

So...if Thor and Bruce had been in this. Thor wouldn’t be cool with being beholden to Midgardian governments. He cooperates as a courtesy, but he doesn’t actually answer to Earth authority. And I’m pretty sure he’d be very sympathetic to Steve about Bucky, given that it’s a rather similar situation to him and Loki. Bruce, on the other hand, has never felt confident about his ability to stay in control, and he was a major source of collateral damage in multiple countries in Ultron, not to mention the extra footage Ross showed the team. He’d probably think Bucky needs to be under guard for the same reason. I think he’d not only side with Tony but be relieved that Tony was on the side of the Accords. However, you really can’t have two powerhouses like Thor and Hulk in this fight. On their own, they could demolish the entire opposing team. The only option would be to keep them fighting each other the whole time, which would be kind of lame. Much better for them to have a gladiator battle on trash planet where no on else can steal their thunder. (I am not sorry.)

My mind is pretty much blown by how well the MCU has traveled the path from the first few movies to here, and from here to Infinity War. The Avengers have pretty much been getting broken down since Ultron. This was where they fell apart. Infinity War is the consequences of falling apart.

[operativehq]

after almost twenty four hours after the submit has closed and 11+ hours of reading applications and making painstaking decisions, the long-awaited acceptance post has come. i’d sincerely thank every single applicant for applying because i really don’t lie when i say that i read through every single app and had to make some very tough decisions, some that hurt my heart because almost every app came neck and neck with each other. this entire experience has been surreal -- i never expected for my plot idea to take off so incredibly and for such kind words to be said about it. i definitely did not anticipate 43 apps to end up in my inbox and to have such dedicated and patient applicants. thank you so much to everyone who’s been a part of this experience already, i really, really can’t say it enough or articulate it well.

to people who are not accepted -- i really mean it when i say that i wish i could accept everyone. every single app went beyond my expectations, and if you weren’t accepted it is NOT a testament to your writing abilities or anything personal. having to pick ONE person out of so many apps, or ELEVEN out of FORTY-THREE ?? it’s nearly impossible. it breaks my heart to not be able to accept THIRTY-TWO apps that were so beautiful. i strongly encourage people who weren’t accepted to keep an eye on this rp in case any openings or expansions occur in the future, because i’d really love to have people reapply. i wish i could type with the conviction and passion that i’m feeling right now when i say that every app blew me out of the water, but now i’m repeating myself over and over again. ( if anyone would like feedback on their app or for me to send their app back to them, please let me know over the course of this week. )

with that said, under the cut are the eleven accepted applicants. please send in your accounts within TWENTY-FOUR HOURS and be sure to check out the CHECKLIST as well as the inbox of your character blog once you send in your account so i can send invites to the ooc discord chat !!

CONGRATULATIONS LAURA ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT AURUM, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS MALCOLM WEBB ( REECE KING ). 

holy crap, laura !! your writing is amazing !! you really made malcolm come alive, with everything from your edits to your stunning biography and description of his personality. my heart really hurt for malcolm while i was reading about his background and you really provided so much depth behind the surface-level rich kid. you displayed his vulnerabilities and desires incredibly well. also, i love how you even added depth to the way his skills ?? thank you so, so much for applying, love, and welcome !!

CONGRATULATIONS EMILY ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT CRIMSON, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS RAFAEL BOLÍVAR ( TYLER POSEY ).

emily -- can we talk about the way you write for a sec ?? it’s absolutely phenomenal. you took a darker twist to crimson than i could have imagined and i loved every second of it. your backstory for him is incredibly unique to me and i’m so excited to work with his narrative throughout the rp !! beyond that, you really know your character well !! i was blown away by your para samples -- the way you wrote his connection with nikolai and also that drabble about him and tony ?? you have such a knack in your writing to be able to sympathize with your muses, like oh my god. i’m so glad you applied and i can’t wait to see how you develop rafe !!

CONGRATULATIONS CHRISTINA ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT CYGNUS, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS RHYSAND ATTWOOD ( HARRY STYLES ).

you truly went above and beyond, christina, and i am honestly so glad you came out of retirement from the rpc to apply !! the cygnus competition was so, so tough, but i kept coming back to your application. not only is your writing incredible, every facet of your application was so detailed it was clear that you had an understanding of rhys !! the thing that completely sold me was that you wrote about every connection rhys would have and how rhys would act and that was so great to see !! i also loved your twist on rhys & odessa’s connection ?? i also love his potential development and the way you tied his story into the plot !! i can’t wait to write with you, love, welcome to operative !!

CONGRATULATIONS TERESA ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT HAWTHORN, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS CALLIOPE MAXWELL ( CARTIA MALLAN ).

my goodness, i absolutely loved your app, teresa !! it was so unique and i loved how you showed how much depth callie had and the development that she has gone through and will continue to go through. i just loved the twist on her backstory and how she didn’t start off too kind ?? you made the skeleton of hawthorn three-dimensional and complex !! also, your ideas for her goal and how to extend it into a plot in the future was so creative and intriguing, i can’t wait to explore it more with you, love !! also, the liberties you took with your para sample absolutely paid off !! i loved seeing callie’s perspective on the provided connections. welcome, teresa !!

CONGRATULATIONS JULIE ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT HYALUS, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS DANAË BAUTISTA ( CLEO LAZULI ).

hyalus was another tough decision, but julie, i absolutely loved your take on hyalus. not only did the memes and vines make me laugh out loud, but you gave such a fresh perspective on our resident hacker. just the aspects ( and perhaps irony ) of her father’s condition made me incredibly sad, but it provided a ton of depth to danaë ?? and i loved the fact that you gave her the label ‘ the icarus ’, the way you explained it made me love danaë even more !! also, your research for the role literally had me with my mouth open while i was going through your app ?? and the fact that you included a family tree / timeline ?? your dedication is unreal. thank you so much for applying and i can’t wait to see danaë on the dash !!

CONGRATULATIONS RHINE ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT MERCURY, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS LYSANDER SEO ( LEE JONG SUK ).

the competition for mercury was probably one of the toughest -- every single app i read for that role was filled with so much effort and talent, that i kept going back and forth between so many. but rhine -- i strongly believe that you have an ability to paint with words. as i kept reading, i was just swept away by your writing ability ?? every single sentence was like a masterpiece !! and the way you wrote lys and his backstory was something i’ve never really seen before, and the amount of research you put into it was amazing !! while i was reading it all, i was internally screaming out of astonishment for your writing and sorrow for lys. he has so much depth and you understand him so well !! i cannot wait to see you play lysander on the dash and in events !!

CONGRATULATIONS EL ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT NOX, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS KINGSLEY LIM ( BANG YONGGUK ).

el, el, el !! your writing is insanely beautiful and by the end of your app, i felt like i understood king extremely well. his backstory had me crying and i loved the way you made nikolai a tether for king. also that pinterest ?? organized from head to toe had me already screaming, but then your explanation for each color and what it meant... it had me on the floor, quite honestly. your understanding of king and the very dark take on nox’s skeleton was stunning to read !! and those last two lines of his bio ?? had me weeping. in any case, i can’t wait to see kingsley develop here and welcome to the rp !!

CONGRATULATIONS GUBSE ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT OPHIDIAN, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS OLIVER KNIGHTLEY ( XAVIER SERRANO ).

goodness, the depth you gave ophidian was astounding  -- the anger, the loneliness, the flirtations  -- it was all wrapped up into oliver so perfectly ?? and then your development questions... the way you answered them ?? your writing is absolutely amazing !! it's a different vision i had for ophidian, but that’s in no means a bad thing. it's exactly why i loved it so, so much. just the line " he looks in the mirror. ' what are you capable of ? '" gave me shivers. i absolutely cannot wait to see how you play oliver on the dash. congratulations and welcome to operative !!

CONGRATULATIONS MINNIE ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT PHANTOM, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS JIYOON ARIELLA HAN ( PARK SOOYOUNG ).

everything from the biography, to the stats, to the connections, to your character’s goal... all i can say is wow !! i also absolutely loved the pinterest boards that went along with the biography !! every twist and turn that your writing took me on had me love every minute. it was a different take than i expected for phantom, but you captured the skeleton’s essence and really made it your own !! the explanation of her personality just confirmed that you were the one for phantom !! your writing is spectacular and i truly can’t wait to write with ariella !!

CONGRATULATIONS HONEY ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT PHOENIX, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS FRANCIS KANG ( JEON JUNGKOOK ).

holy shit, honey. i was weeping for francis and i really loved your take on phoenix’s connection and the depth you put behind him. i loved how much of a facade he put up & your depiction of him and odessa !! besides all that, your writing is gorgeous !! your in-character paragraph for phoenix really sold it for me !! you really have a good grasp on francis, and your creativity with his background / personality has me so excited to see where he goes and how he’ll develop !! thank you so much for applying and welcome !!

CONGRATULATIONS CLEO ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT SCORPIUS, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS ANGELINA DELAROSA ( CINDY KIMBERLY ).

the scorpius decision was probably the toughest of the whole acceptance process -- each app was absolutely amazing and i was struggling to pick just one. but i kept coming back to yours. your writing is almost poetic, and the way you wrote angelina was something that really pulled at my heart. the fact that you gave so much depth to the scorpius skeleton, beyond just a seductress, really gave it to me !! also, your paragraph samples, your explanation on her personality ?? my goodness, i could really tell that you understood angelina, from the way you wrote her goal, to her despair following nikolai, to the way you even wrote a drabble about her first mission... and the way you described those aesthetics as well !! your app had me absolutely floored !! you’re such a talented writer, and i can’t wait to see where you go with angelina !! welcome to the roleplay, love !!