#this was very fun to write down so

[erial-c]

REDACTED THEORY POST !!!

possible spoilers for the balance, sovereign state, carpe deus, and hush's audios . bare with me because this is horrifically long

tagging @mokozroach hi :3

an amalgamation of theories i have regarding the plot heavy series in the redacted verse :3

so i'm gonna try to discuss 3 different things here :

1. the timeline and how i see it

2. how blake is probably hush's brother

3. what the fuck is hush

1. the timeline (specifically when the fuck hush's audios are set)

we know that when avior and starlight get back to the overworld, + when elliott escapes, the inversion just happened . with that, i think i've found a few things that can set the events in the timeline

- in "deferred judgement" and "reforming a sadism demon", hush says that closeknit's headquarters in dahlia are empty, and that the dept. "came and scared them away" or raided the building.

i assume that what happened in the newest balance audio was also a raid (blake saying the department cut the power in the building) and iirc we're still in dahlia, so this is the same building that hush says is abandoned in his recent audios.

- in "reforming a sadism demon", hush mentions he's only been alive/sentient for "a few weeks"

this wouldn't have given me anything, but if we recall in sovereign state, avior keeps hearing the same sound effect that we hear when hush tries to explain what he is to doc.

since the closest given timeline is "facing a disaster with your demon lover" (40 minutes post-inversion), and the audios after that are probably, at most, a few days after (since avior has to explain the inversion to starlight) we can probably assume that hush has been created at this point.

this would have hush's audios + the 2 most recent carpe deus audios be set a few weeks post inversion at the least.

2. blake is probably hush's brother

so we know hush has mentioned having a "brother" twice now ('there's a stranger in your apartment' and 'deferred judgement')

we can assume hush probably means that they're brothers in the sense that they were made the same way? because obviously they wouldn't actually be blood related ("i have a brother, in a manner of speaking")

- both are also instruments/tools used by the sovereigns. hush having referred to himself as an "instrumental force" many times, and blake being called an instrument by d'deridahn ('a deal with the fallen gods').

- both also "teleport" the same way (parentheses because its technically not that?). normae mentions that hush can "be anywhere" but isn't rifting, and hasn't seen anything like it before ('getting to know your mysterious stranger'). d'deridahn also says that blake can "be anywhere". both also have the same sound effect when " teleporting".

we also know that hush and his "brother" not exactly on good terms. hush's "brother" knows that hush is different, and that scares him. this person has been hunting hush down ever since he was given form, but since hush is stronger and faster, he hasn't been caught.

- blake is an empowered human being used as a vessel by a sovereign. and with hush, all we know is that there's an "echo" of the ones who created him that remain in him (e & m possibly), but he's also neither demon nor human, and has killed several demons. because of this, we can probably assume hush is more powerful than blake.

3. what the fuck is hush

hush is called an egregore by vega, and while there are many different definitions of this, i think he leans more on the concept of an independent entity created by collective thought, because he always refers to himself as an instrumental force with a linear goal.

with this, i think hush is some sort of entity created by e'laetum and min'ara's thoughts and goals becoming sentient. i also think he's going to be the entity to strengthen the meridian.

hush is actively trying to contact avior, hence why i think he's connected to e'laetum and min'ara. he could've been created by them, on purpose or not. maybe the meridian sovereigns realized a demon and a human couldn't possibly help on their own, and created hush. or were so hellbent on their goal that they accidentally gave form to hush, since he is "the silence between the notes" and has technically existed before, but was only given form recently.

hush's focus is likely to strengthen the meridian, but in order to do that he needs another sovereign. he specifically refers to freeing sovereigns trapped in their prison ('getting to know your mysterious stranger') and that applies to the drove (d'deridahn and others, excluding e & m) because they were trapped there as punishment. but i doubt the drove would want to help after being trapped for millennia, so what now?

well, in "getting to know your mysterious stranger", normae talks to doc about hush, and tries to tell them that hush is trying to take the sovereigns' powers for himself. it's possible that e'laetum and min'ara are aware that the drove won't want to help them strengthen the meridian, so they might have tasked hush to making contact with the drove to take their powers for himself, and to aid the meridian himself.

all that or hush is just a little guy wanting to fuck shit up on elegy LMAO

[everythingmp3]

being farmer!Van’s younger lover - headcanons 𐙚 🌾

I couldnt get the idea of her as a farmer out of my head, so here are all the thoughts I had while imagining, mostly what she’d be like with a lover! I dont know much about the actual life of a farmer, so I kept her activities rather vague, it’s more about the vibe and the fantasy of it all, you get the idea <3 hope u enjoy

warnings: the second half of this is nsfw! some very brief mentions of substance abuse/addiction

her backstory:

(feel free to skip this intro if you just want the main plot)

she moved to NYC after high school, broke, not in college, unsure what to do but too stubborn to give up on her dream to live in the city she had idealized since she childhood, so she fought and bled for her right to stay, worked many bone-crushing jobs, got into friend groups with people who were also just trying to survive, which worked out in her favor for a while, but. eventually she got into the wrong kind of drugs and fell off, partying instead of working, getting fired from one job after the other, barely scraping by, somehow cheating her way out of ruin again and again, sleeping on friends couches, until she was in her mid-twenties and couldnt take it anymore, physically, spiritually, so she and her girl at the time packed their things and moved the country-side in the south, dreaming of a quiet, normal, mundane life, hoping and praying for some respite

at first, they managed, but the relationship was crumbling due to Vans refusal to address her substance abuse issues and her overall disregard for her health, her hermit lifestyle of only going to work so she could come back home and crash, so eventually they broke up, dramatically so, her ex screaming at her that she had to get her shit together or she’d die before hitting 30, which did wake her up - it hurt like hell but she knew it was true - Van was tired of everything, people, cities, even small towns, she didnt wanna see or talk to anyone, so she looked for jobs that would allow her to shut down and be quiet, which she found: an older couple, in their 50s, was looking for help at their farm nearby, in exchange for a spare room, so it was settled: she packed a few things and showed up at their door ready to leave her entire life behind and just be a pair of helping hands

she got lucky. the man and woman who ran the farm - which would be hers one day - immediately showed her a parental kind of tough love when they realized how desperately Van needed help and guidance, they didnt make her talk about it, but they could tell that she was recovering from some heavy shit, so they gave her a very clear schedule and made her stick to it, even when she was tired or grumpy, they gave her clear instructions and made her work with the animals a lot because they knew the effect that kind of contact can have on a suffering person

sure enough, Van blossomed after an initial period of disciplining her body, eating better, and growing stronger each day, it took a good amount of sweat and tears to settle in, but after a few weeks she adjusted and found out that she was much better at physical labor than she´d assumed, her stubborn streak came in handy, she pushed and pushed herself until the tasks came more easily to her. she also went to AA meetings in the area on and off, whenever she felt like she needed some extra help to stay sober

once the couple both neared their mid 60s, they were so close to Van that leaving the farm in her hands only felt natural, they didnt have any children of their own, so she was the closest thing to a daughter they ever got and trusted her to take care of their beloved spot of land well and to eventually leave it to someone else whod keep that tradition up as well (at first she felt unworthy, incapable, but they convinced her and urged her to do whatever she pleased with her little spot in the world, expressing how grateful they were for the years shed spent with them, having given them a chance to feel like someones parents later in life)

Van decided to work with groups that use animal therapy to help people who are in a tough spot in one way or another, people in rehab or people who deal with either mental or physical pain that might be eased for while by having close contact to horses - she knows first-hand what caring for animals can do for a person who is struggling with self-worth, shame, or chronic pain, so she always makes a point of inviting those groups to her farm, making it a safe haven in a way, she also lets riding instructors teach their classes there

she makes money by letting people keep their horses in the stables, taking care of them, so people can come by whenever they want to ride them, she also sells some of her produce to surrounding farmers markets, its not a ton of money but more than enough to get by and live a comfortable life

how you started dating

your college town is near her farm and you decided to stay there during summer because the season is beautiful out there and its enough for you to back to your hometown for a few weeks during August before the next semester starts

one day you were a bit reckless and walked out further beyond the town limits than you usually did because the weather was so nice and you wanted to see some some pretty fields, but you underestimated the heat and had to take a break somewhere because you were afraid you might pass out and couldnt just turn around and walk all the way back

the tree you decided to take shelter under for a moment was right at the entrance of Vans farm and she come out to check on you because she saw you sitting there in the midday heat and got worried that something was wrong or that someone might have ditched you by the side of the road, since she wasnt used to having strangers wandering around out there

you were a bit embarrassed at first when she she said "hey there, you okay?" but you she was sweet from the get-go, joking around a bit, asking you what on earth made you come out there in that intense weather, gently chastising you for your lack of drinks and snacks, she ended up urging you to come inside and rest and cool down, to eat and drink something so you could regain your strength before going back home

you got along immediately, it took less than a few minutes for you to talk about anything and everything as she prepared some iced coffee, iced tea, and fresh blueberry pancakes for you - you told her again and again that she was being way too nice but Van insisted and told you that she spent more than enough time on her own, so once you werent hungry or thirsty anymore and seemed more lively again, she gave you a tour of and introduced you to her cats which was a sure way to get you to stay for longer (maybe that was calculated on her part)

after a while of you laughing and enjoying your time together, she offered to drive you back to your place and gave you a little pot of homemade jam to try as a parting gift, a raspberry vanilla mix that tasted divine and was your breakfast of choice for the coming days. as you said goodbye that night in the car parked outside your house she said "come by whenever you want, really, you dont even have to ring, just walk around to the porch and I will be around somewhere" which felt like flirting, not just southern hospitality, so you promised that you would take her up on it, your skin tingling where her arms rested when you said goodbye, her voice a bit strained when she told you goodbye, as if she was flustered from embracing someone that way, a sign that it had been a while maybe, a sudden rush of hope on your part that she wasnt seeing anyone, that you werent delusional to think that she might have been less friendly with strangers who didnt intrigue her, who werent as easy on the eyes to her..

she’d confess to you a while later that she didnt give you her number or asked for yours because she knew that shes a horrible texter and enjoyed the idea of being surprised by another visit by you, she also liked the vibe of leaving the ball entirely in your court, the fact that she had no way of reaching out to you and had to trust that you would keep your connection going (this same energy is palpable whenever she waits for you to come and touch her, she loves pushing your patience to make you initiate intimacy, even when its just a hug, thats her preferred way of teasing)

for the next few days you couldnt get her out of your head and kept clinging to the memory of how hot shed looked: dressed in a white tank-top and jeans that were cut off at the knee, working boots and white socks, her bronzed heavily freckles skin glowing in the midday sun, just like her wavy hair that seemed to burn like flames in that light, her cheeks and lips rosy from the heat, her voice raspy and low, her calves toned, just like her shoulders and arms... you remembered how your knees had touched when you sat outside on the steps together for a moment, how your fingers had brushed when shed handed you a glass, how shed looked at you while you ate the food shed made you, attentive, curious, and intense, like she was holding something back, the same way you had been. it was torture. you couldnt stop obsessing over every little look shed given you, everything shed said, reading into all of it until you were certain you werent just imagining the instant chemistry

after a few days of holding back, you couldnt wait any longer and went back to her place, and just as you stepped into her house it started thundering and pouring rain, which immediately made the atmosphere intimate and private as she lit some candles and put on all the warm orange tinted lamps to offer a contrast to the dark storm outside - you played it cool at first, but it was clear that you hadnt just come back for no reason, and the tension made both of you a little nervous at first, thrilled too though, pleased by the sense of "she feels the same way, doesnt she?"

one thing lead to another, some jokes at first, then more earnest words, you confessing "I thought of you a lot the past few days, you were so sweet to me" her brushing it off "basic decency" you caving and coming to sit next to her, a pleading look on your face, a bit of fear on hers, held breaths, beating hearts, soft eyes, you taking the leap, kissing her eagerly until she gently broke it and needed a second to breathe, to calm her burning nerves, so you told her to keep touching you, to just keep her hands on you, so she did, grabbing at you until she was ready to continue, dying to - a switch flipped in her when she felt you going slack in her embrace, sighing from the feel of her palms on your back, your arms, your face, a bruising kiss from her that quickly turned into more and more and until your clothes were scattered next to the couch and the rain kept clashing against the windows as you got lost in each other, kissing and touching and grinding up against each other, making each other come just from a few touches, using your burst of passion and intense sensitivity to each others presence to keep going and going, finally ending up in her bed, making out for ages, taking turns making each other moan and surrender

that night you slept over and the next morning you laughed about how cliché it was for her to invite you to move in for the summer before even having gone on a proper date, but! you couldnt have cared less, you were so overjoyed at the idea, both of you agreeing that it would be unnecessary to make you take the drive over to her place every day (she had no idea what got into her when she just straight up asked you if you wanted her to help you get some of your stuff so you could stay with her as long as you wanted because it had been so long since shed: a) had anything romantic going on b) had sex with someone and c) didnt shudder at the idea of sharing her space with a lover, quite the opposite, that first morning she woke up to the sight of you there in her bed, all peaceful and content and warm to the touch, she wondered how shed gone all those years without it

sfw

Van quickly comes to love the feeling of never knowing when she might turn a corner and see you laying in the sun on a blanket, in your bikini or underwear, tanning, or reading, or napping - she always stops in her tracks and takes a moment to just look at you while youre blissfully unaware, until the urge to touch takes over - unlike others, shed never think its funny to startle you by splashing water on you or taking your headphones off or anything, shes as gentle as possible, always, either lowering herself until she can press a soft kiss to your back, or picking a flower to lightly sweep over your arm <3 you usually pull her down onto the blanket and get all over her to keep her from walking away and continuing her work, which shes helpless against, shes never denied you, not once, always caving

loveees seeing you in her clothes! when you put a flannel of hers over your shoulders if it gets a bit chilly at night, or when you jokingly try on her working boots, she lets you steal whatever you want from her wardrobe and has a particular thing for seeing you in jeans of hers that are a bit too lose on you because theyre worn out, when you kneel down and she can see your underwear peeking out at the top... you wont stay in those jeans for too long, lets put it that way.

shes always been good about sun screen, its the one self-care aspect she never abandoned even during her worst times, but! she usually never splurged on the expensive kind, she used generic cheap sun screen until you started dating and you gave her some fancier kind, selfishly picking a scented one, a mix of vanilla and coconut because you knew it would mix very well with her sweat while working and the tabacco when she smokes - you also help her apply it, its ritual she came to cherish deeply, the way you carefully apply it not just on her face and arms but where she cant reach, always savoring the feeling of your palms massaging the creme into her back because she used to have to bend herself herself into a pretzel to apply it to her shoulder blades and the surrounding area (you dont care that it tastes bitter when you kiss her on her freshly lotioned nose <3)

when Ethel Cain said "he looks like he works with his hands and smells like Marlboro Reds" yeah thats her… the cigs are her little vice that she allows herself to keep, she doesn’t chain smoke, it’s more of a relaxation thing, usually not more than two a day, sometimes she also goes a while without any, and you dont convince her to quit because she looks too hot smoking 💘 you love those warm late nights where you sit on the porch together, your legs on her lap, her free hand massaging you as she stares off into the distance and smokes (you also got her nice lighter at the thrift store, gold with an etching of a pin-up model, it was more of a joke but she loves it)

for obvious reasons she much prefers cats over dogs and when you started dating one of her cats was heavily pregnant, so you ended up staying in the barn with her for an entire night when the cat gave birth to make sure it all went well, to see that the kittens were all healthy, and it made her fall for you even more, the care and adoration with which you handled the little babies and soothed the mother after she gave birth to all three of them, she also let you pick the names <3 you love to joke by saying "she’s stealing my spot" whenever one of the kittens crawls up onto her chest

Van always relies on her lovers to braid her hair! whenever shes single, she just accepts the fact that her hair wont be braided until someone does it for her again, she likes being incompetent that way, she mentioned it off-handedly that she cant braid her hair at her grown age, and you took the bait immediately, offering to style it any way she wants, a smug grin on her face when you first gently parted her hair into three even strands and gave her exactly what she wanted, that soothing feeling of having her love rake her fingers through her hair, her favorite part is when youre done fuss with her front pieces a bit to make it look more effortless and natural, shes pliant as hell, lets you do whatever you want (her mommy issues havent gone away, even in her forties it does make her blush when she sits between your legs and feels you tighten her braid the way a mother might)

speaking of hair: she doesnt trust hair dressers with her hair at all because shes way too scared that theyll take off too much or give her weird layers, so she usually did an okay job cutting her own split-ends, but you decided to buy actual hair-cutting scissors and looked up a few tutorials until you felt prepared enough and gave her a nice trim, taking about half an hour to really make sure all the strands flow nicely together, and she loves it, shes gone so long without getting her hair cut by someone else that it makes the whole thing feel super intimate - also, she loves that you picked up on the fact that her hair is the one and only aspect about her appearance where she embraces a kind of femininity, its her one point of true vanity, and you taking care of it fore her is very pleasing to Van as someone who knows that people usually focus on her more masculine traits when they call her hot, warms her heart that you take care of her hair like its your own :)

youll often cut up some fruit for her or bring her a bottle of cold water when shes been out in the soon for a little too long, its a simple thing but she remembers how it was to never have anyone do those little things for her, its special for her and makes the work feel a little easier on her not-super-young bones <3

she has a medium sized tattoo on her left hipbone that she got in her 20s and for the longest time she hated it because she didnt have enough money back then to get it done by an actually good artist, so the lines are kinda faded over time, but.. once you started dating, she realized how hot you think its looks, so she started using it to tease you, relentlessly, stretching her arms over her head on purpose so her shirt rides up and you can see the top of the tattoo peeking out above her waistband, more times than not youll get handsy with her and pay her back for tempting you (as if that wasnt her goal all along)

for a long time her polaroid camera just collected dust but one day she got the urge to take pictures of you around the farm, which started out innocent at first (you caressing the horses, laying in the sun, leaning against the fence, picking berries) but it quickly turned more and more erotic, you shed your clothes, she took some pics of you in your underwear, you convinced her to caress your face and put her thumb in your mouth while taking a picture of that, which got her good, so eventually you abandoned all shame and told her to get some milk so she could pour it in your open mouth and over your chest and take a picture of that, you in the grass.. kneeling... eyes closed.. mouth open.. milk dripping down your chin... shameless vulgarity, but so incredibly hot to her that she ended up putting the camera down and licking you clean. both of you laughing in the grass afterwards once you realized what you just did (she keeps a few of those pictures on her wallet, old fashioned romance is her thing sometimes)

she taught you how to properly ride a horse and definitely almost had a heart attack the first few times your horse picked up the pace, she always makes sure youre safe - you sometimes take the horses to a nearby forest and leisurely ride through it, slowly, chatting and laughing and holding hands whenever your horses are close enough to do that (you also fore sureee convince her to take you out on her horse sometimes, you love holding onto her waist and resting your head on her back)

her farm is so lush and rich in color during spring and early summer!💐 flowers of all kinds bloom all over the place, and before you were dating she never bothered to pick some of them for inside decor, felt kinda silly to her as the only one living in her house, she was never the type to play homemaker just for the sake of it, but you lovee picking little bouquets for her, you always take note of which flowers she points at and calls pretty, so next time you gather more of that kind, it became a sweet ritual for you to put little vases with all kinds of wildflowers around the house and she for sure dried the first bouquet you ever made for her and keeps it on her dresser or pressed in a book <3

one of your favorite things to do with her is to go out for a big dinner after shes been working hard all day! shell be starving by that time, so nothing feels better to her than sitting down at her favorite sandwich shop or restaurant or fast food chain and devouring a greasy salty comfort meal - I think she fucks with veggie burgers when theyre drenched in good sauce, pizza with a good amount of toppings, spicy too, I think shed dip everything in hot sauce, shed also love mexican food I think like a good burrito with a bunch of fresh ingredients and chips and salsa on the side, anything thats savory and mixes a bunch of textures! you dont do it too often because she does try to eat rather healthy but once or twice a week you both need it and cherish it, you will sit there for a while just eating and chatting and sharing a bunch of side dishes, people watching or gossiping, her giving you inside scoop when she sees a familiar face, making small talk here and there while referring to you as her "friend" even though nobodys naive enough to believe that thats all you are, still, she likes being coy about it

you realize that all the people who own her favorite spots know and love her, so they give her bigger servings and drinks on the house, which you benefit from as well ;)

if you have a difficult relationship with food or simply dont take good enough care of yourself diet wise, thats gonna be taken care of with her, always - Van prides herself on her harvest of fruits and veggies, the time and care she puts in them each season, she collects fresh eggs from her chickens, bakes her own bread, makes a beautiful summer salad that she perfected over the years with some strawberry slices and honey vinegar dressing and a bunch of different greens and cucumber to make it fresh and delicious, among other recipes that she makes you try and approve of - you eat wellll and healthy with her, and you take up baking because you wanna repay her for her cooking and know that she has a sweet tooth! she also keeps fresh home-made iced tea and a bunch of other beverages that you both enjoy in the fridge at all times when its hot and keeps reminding you to drink, you wont be dehydrated on her watch!

when she was younger it was a sign of luxury to her when she was over at a friends house and their family had Ben and Jerrys ice cream instead of the no-name brands, so as an adult she likes buying all those little things that used to seem expensive to her, and you two sometimes share a pot on particularly hot days, trying all the flavors and rating them, you kept a sheet with the scores, and its a thing she looks look forward to, going to the store and picking your flavor for the night <3 (she’s partial to anything with caramel and doesnt really care much for the ones that are heavy on the chocolate, prefers the creamy vanilla bases ones, she also always lets you scoop out the last few bites, whereas you let her have the first few spoonfuls (you also like to fuck with her by kissing her while you still have some ice cream in your mouth and transfer it onto her tongue with a sloppy kiss, she pretends its nasty but shes turned on by it, every time)

she likes to pretend shes a grumpy anti-tech country woman who hates all things pop culture but she does love that youre teaching her things here and there about whats going on, shes been so out of touch with everything that its fun for her to have someone there who gets a kick out of trying to explain a new slang term to her or a trend thats happening on social media or gossip about celebrities (you sometimes jokingly speak in a way that sounds obnoxious and like something a teenager on tiktok would say just to watch her give you a look of utter confusion and disbelief, like telling her that she has "rizz" when she says something smooth, laughing when she says "jesus christ do I even wanna know what that means...")

even though shes worked with animals for years and years it never got easier for her to watch any of them suffer, shes a huge softie! none of them are "just" animals to her, ever, doesnt matter if its a horse or a cow or a chicken or animals that arent "hers" but live around the farm like little mice or birds, she always feels her heart shatter when one of the animals gets sick or needs medicine or a visit from the vet, she keeps it together on the outside but youve consoled her a few times when she was scared that an animal might not make it or be in too much pain - she also still tears up whenever she talks about her cat who passed away five years ago, she still misses her sometimes and youre the first person shes shared that grief with bc she feels safe with you, its nice for her not to shed her tears in the dark by herself when shes scared of a possible loss or feels haunted by yelps that a sick animal made, you always reassure her that shes doing her best and that any animal would be lucky to end up there with her <3

loves to make you do little physical tasks with her so she can watch you struggle with something thats muscle memory for her, its very amusing to her when you get pissed off and start groaning and eventually give up and tell her to do it by herself because youre clearly too slow with it, shell say things like "come on, lets put those young bones to good use" and gesture at you to follow her and you always act like a petulant child even though you clearly love being bosses around by her and watching her be much better at whatever it is that youre doing together, sometimes youll just sit and blatantly stare at her while shes doing strenuous work so you can watch her break a sweat and jokingly cat-call her

she keeps to herself but she built strong connections with a good amount of people in the area over the years, so shes never truly isolated or unable to require help when she needs, people know they can count on her and that shes about as reliable as they come, so she often comes home with a basket of fresh peaches or a few bottles of freshly made syrup or coffee grounds because people like her and treat her like a daughter/sister/friend depending on how old they are (I like to think theres a mutual aid sentiment that she sticks to, shell give money where she can to those who need it because theyve also helped her out before)

on that note, she is usually way too stubborn to ask for support but if you get sick, she calls some people who can help her around the farm, so she has the time to tend to you and doesnt have to leave you alone in bed all day <3

you offer her massages whenever she seems a bit tense or worn out, sometimes youll just come up behind her and start massaging her neck and shell say "baby im okay really" at first, but then audibly gasp as you knead away some tension, melting under your touch and making little "hmm" sounds

she loves ending her day by sitting on the couch with you and watching a show or a film together while snuggling, she used to spend all of her nights alone, so the simple act of eating dinner together and then watching something with you is a luxury to her that she savors every time <3

you convince her to venture out a bit more than she usually did, so you end up taking little trips to more urban cities nearby (ones that are 1-3 hours away) and have fun days there, trying out cafes and restaurants, browsing through stores, getting some clothes (you know she likes brands like Carharrt and splurge on stuff here), getting drinks if you stay until nightfall, watching movies at the cinema, or just walking around and seeing where the day takes you

during the road trips you are in charge of the aux because her music is too depressing for summer days.. she has no idea how to curate a playlist thats lighthearted and fun, so she leaves it to you (I can see her enjoying it when you blast like an Oasis song that she remembers from her youth and make her sing along to it because you know damn well she remembers the lyrics)

also! you love to fuck with her by putting the most vulgar rap you can find on full volume, blasting lyrics that make her look at you in shock while asking “is this what you fucking listen to?? really?" only half-serious about it, you catch her smiling when shes imagining herself in the place of the guy saying out of pocket shit about his girl

you like to do the laundry because you never got to hang it up to dry in a beautiful spot of land like that before - it feels cinematic to you in a way when youre standing there clipping your shirts to the clothesline with the wind blowing in your hair and the horses nearby, but! Van does the laundry that has to be hand-washed, she likes the attentive act of getting out all the little stains in clothes that are too delicate for the washing machine, she has her tricks to get even the most annoying red sauce stains out, and she also has a thing for washing your underwear, something about washing her lovers intimate clothes is very romantic to her, so you let her do it even though you were a bit embarrassed about it at first

regardless of your usual style you started dressing a bit more "country" to fit her vibe and it’s hot to her - she likes when you thrift stuff like white linen dresses or shorts, cowboy boots, belts with bigger brass buckles, you always ask her for her opinion and maybe drag her to the store with you so she can decide what you try out next (she’d make you get a skimpy bikini for lake days, for sure, you’d be like "this is too much...." and she’d just say "not in my eyes" and buy it for you)

loveees to share all of her knowledge with you but in a teasing way, she likes to play teacher and make you memorize the names of plants and flowers, so she can randomly point at one and ask "whats that one called again, hm?" fully aware that you forgot, repeating it to you and asking again the next day, which makes you shove her and roll your eyes but shell press for an answer like "I didnt hear you baby"

you introduce her to the app that can identify all kinds of bird calls and she gets over her skepticism really fast and becomes obsessed with it, whenever youre in the forest by the lake or just out in nature and she hears an unfamiliar call she gets so thrilled when the app shows her a picture of the bird shes hearing, and she definitely makes you remember the names of her favorite birds and gets offended when you forget them, drilling you like a teacher until theyre seared into your brain

she knows from her own experience that the best way to beat a depressive mood is to get outside and find something to do, so whenever she can tell that youre feeling a bit off or blue she makes you follow her somewhere so she can try and cheer you up :) one afternoon when you were kinda sad she took you cherry-picking and lifted you up on her shoulders so you could reach all the cherries further up and your mood switched completely without you even being conscious of it, she’s great at coaxing joy out of you whenever you need it

in general you felt your nervous system recover from any stress you mightve dealt with before during those days where your senses were never overstimulated by too much noise or too many people around or a lack of access to fresh air and pretty nature, she never outright said it but she definitely kept her eye on you and made sure you felt better than you did when shed first met you, even just sitting in the grass and feeling the earth beneath you and hearing the natural noise of the farm for a few minutes often helps you unwind and relax 🕊️

you know from what she told you about her past that she never got to be carefree as a kid/teenager, that she had to grow up way too fast, so you make her do little things with you that girls might do at sleepovers, like putting on face masks or playing online games or buying little arts and crafts kits to make each other keychains and! you convince her to get one of the mystery boxes with little figurines in them like those sylvanian family animals, which you end up keeping on the windows isle, adding to them whenever you indulge in the frivolous joy of ripping open a package without knowing which little creature youll get (shes the type to put on a poker-face or make sarcastic remarks during the whole thing to disguise how much fun shes actually having)

master of home remedies! whether its a rash or a burn or a cut, she knows exactly what salve or creme to apply, she has a bunch of teas for any kind of ailment, stomach pain, period cramps, headaches, she knows how to dress any kind of wound (because shes had to patch herself up, many times) so any kind of pain youre in, shes gonna do her very best to relieve you of it (not just by giving you head, although thats always worth a try, to her)

shes somehow alwaaays chewing on something, either gum, or tooth picks, or even just random pieces of grass (which you make fun of her for, lovingly) its pretty rare that she goes a whole day without reaching for something to mindlessly chew on (one time you offered her your finger and said "if you need to always have something in your mouth... here" and she swatted your hand away and told you off but the blush on her face betrayed her because she does love to have your fingers in her mouth, she cant help it)

loves to kiss you on your hands/knuckles, the chivalrous feel of it, the devotion, its just a go-to move for her and you never ever tire of it or lose those butterflies you felt the first time she did it

her other favorite places to kiss on your body while youre not undressed are your cheeks and your shoulders!

sometimes she worries that youll get bored of spending all your days out there with her so she makes it clear that shed drive you to a friends place and be fine with it if you needed a few a days away (blatant lie, she wouldnt be fine) but you make it clear that youre not interesting in going anywhere, unless its together with her! you love your new routine of having time to yourself in the house or outside until shes done working and you spend the rest of the day together

she might be sober but she’ll gladly make you a nice cocktail or buy you a drink every once in a while because she thinks its very cute when youre tipsy and get even more touchy-feely and affectionate with her than usual

you like to spoil her by giving her hands some love, she uses them so much that she needs to use very moisturizing thick cremes and youll take some of that and massage her hand and and really make sure it seeps into her skin, sometimes shell just lay in bed at night and let you work away at her hands as she almost dozes off from how good it feels <3

nsfw

one might think she has less energy when shes been working hard all day but its actually the opposite, whenever shes breathing heavy and sweating and her blood is rushing from the strain of the heat combined with her physical work, she is so easily turned on by the sight of you, its primal in way, so sometimes when she comes inside all dirty and sweaty and flushed you can tell just from the look she gives you that youre about to be ruined (she will drag you to bed, tear your clothes off and lick and kiss and bite you all over, she gets so into it so fast that all you can do is lay back and make pretty sounds for her as she gets all the pent up energy out of her system, which is a new pleasure for her, the pleasure after-work sex)

shes a very even mix of gentle and aggressive! even though shes much stronger than you, she doesnt get off on the idea of domination, it turns her on way more to think that she is your protector when you when youre having sex, while youre in your most vulnerable state, it turns her on to know that she can hold you in a way that makes you feel weak and eager to sink deeply into that weakness, always gripping you and handling you with a firmness that feels caring and loving no matter how nasty the sex is (she could be in the middle of losing her mind while deep inside you but shed never let that lust and hunger turn her careless or too harsh, you know youll never feel used with her, no matter how hard you fuck, its always tinged with tenderness)

shes strong. very strong….shes been handling animals who weigh much more than the average human for years and when you first started dating you definitely felt a rush when she first grabbed you and you felt the sheer strength of her, it drove you crazyyy to feel how easy it was for her to pull you onto her lap or flip you over or carry you around 😵‍💫

at first, she held back, but when you told her that you trust her and want her to really make you feel how strong she is, she started to get into it during sex, holding you in place or wrapping her arms around you so tight and firm that you mightve just come from that sensation alone... she has stamina that never runs out and prides herself on it, but! when youre giving... its over. doesnt matter how physically strong she is, how firm her muscles are, shes so sensitive to your touch that all of her strength melts away that moment your touch your tongue to her or feel her up or fuck her, shes definitely less composed when youre inside of her than you are when shes in you, she whines and moans so intensely...

shes for sureee big into overstimulation, shes an eager giver when she tops, through and through, so she’ll keep going and going until youre shaking and sweating through the sheets, never in a way that’s punishing, always kissing and caressing you all the way through, whispering sweet things as you come for the fourth or fifth time and eventually tap out, laying on top of her, both of you drenched head to toe but so satisfied, so in love, dozing off until an hour later when you clean up and devour some good food together <3

her sex-drive is prettyyy high but its a consistent thing so she’ more of a "whenever youre down, im down, just tell me" type of person, whereas your bursts of desire are more intense and out of the blue, youre more needy and desperate with it, which works out well because sometimes shell just sit back and wait for you to come onto her, aware that it hardly ever takes long for you to get gripped by a feeling of "i need her now or ill die"

will take risks when it comes to having sex outside, any time, its her property, her land, so she will use it as she sees fit, which includes having you wherever and whenever you two feel like it - it’s rare that youre actually in danger of having someone walk up and see you, but it’s definitely happened once or twice that you lost track of time while messing around in the stables and someone quickly turned back around while coughing loudly to signal to you "wrap it up, people are coming", which always makes her feel kind of smug, the fact that people know damn well how lucky she is, having a girl like you to pull into a stack of hay, savoring the sweet dusty smell of the surroundings mixed with the taste of you while she hikes up your dress or pulls down your shorts and gives you head right there <3

it was a huge fantasy of hers, to have a lover that way, so sometimes you leave the stables with visible prints on your ass and thighs where they hay dug in, picking it off your clothes with her help, shaky legs as you leave her to deal with the people who came to ride their horses, a smile from her when she sees you struggling to walk straight as you go inside to freshen up (or jerk off, to finish what she started, telling her about it afterwards to make her get off to the idea of you in her bed touching yourself while she was outside being all professional..)

she can never ever get enough of seeing you on top of her!!whether it’s you riding her fingers or her strap, grinding down against her thigh, she doesn’t care how, all she wants is to see you lose yourself on her, she’s obsessed... 🫠

also, when shes the one fucking you, you both love using the furniture.. you bent over the kitchen table, one leg propped up on a chair so she has good access, her chest flush against your back, her kissing your neck as she holds you with her arm around your waist and gives to you from the back.. fucking you like that until she turns you back around to have you lay back and relax on the table as she finishes you off, really making use of the steady wooden table when youre squirming and losing it..

early morning sex 💘 she usually wakes up naturally around between 5 and 6 am because as a farmer her days always start pretty early and she loves when you stir and smile at her, still half-asleep and and all cozy and soft, it makes her wanna spoil you, so you often wake up to her gently moving your blanket away, so she can caress you and kiss your body and give you head, nothing too overwhelming, but enough to give you the kind of orgasm that makes you fall right back asleep all satisfied and limp and dazed from the feeling of being half-lucid half-dreaming while she ate you out

youll sleep for two more hours or so while she already gets to work, until you get up and prepare some coffee for her, so she usually takes her first break around 9am and has breakfast with you! you sometimes like to repay her for the way she woke you up by getting on your knees in front of her chair and taste her until she cant take it anymore and gets back up to continue her work, a bit scared she might mishandle a tool with the fresh memory of you looking up at her with a slick chin making her all weak and dizzy..

spit. shes more filthy than she is kinky, give her some intense loving passionate sex with a lot of spit involved and shes over the moon, loves when you spit in her mouth and then kiss her afterwards, when you lick over her chest or neck and leave a glistening trail where your tongue traveled up, when you suck on her fingers to lube them up before she fingers you or jerks you off, when you give her strap sloppy head before taking it all the way in with ease because youre so turned on and it is so wet with your saliva, loves when you let your spit drool onto her cunt before you eat her out 💞

very into sensuality in general, she could spend hours just lazily playing with your pussy and feeling you get wetter and wetter without ever getting bored, she loves to just feel you, having you sit comfortably as she switches between rubbing your clit, your whole outside area, teasing your entrance, and fingering you, shes in love with your cunt and wont ever turn down the chance to just hear you whimper and whine as you relax with your legs spread while she watches your pussy swell and get wet and take her fingers - will coo at you and kiss you wherever she can reach as she tells you how good you feel, will keep it up for as long as you want and you love those moments when you dont feel pressured to orgasm because she loves touching you just for the sake of it, not to get an ego-boost from making you cum (even though she always does, youre too in love with her not to drench her fingers when shes teasing you like that and whispering in your ear)

if you squirt... yeah shes licking it all up and doing exactly what she did before to try and make it happen again, as I said shes filthyyy 😵‍💫 would get so turned on from the sight of you ruining her sheets, would shush you if you apologized and insist that you never ever hold back even if it means she has to do laundry more than usual

her tits are a weak spot, super sensitive </3 her nipples will get hard if the wind blows a little too strong... and before dating you she kinda ignored her chest for the most part but with you she rediscovered the thrill of having her tits sucked while being pleased, sometimes you’ll randomly push her onto the couch and lift up her shirt to kiss her chest just to hear her moan for a few seconds, a little treat for yourself (and her) during the day

vocal. so fucking vocal. she can never ever keep quiet and you only go harder whenever you can tell that shes trying to stifle the sounds, you want them all out in the open, and it usually takes very little time for her to lose her composure which she gets embarrassed by for sure, once the orgasm subsides shes like oh... great. I sounded like ive never had sex in my life. yet again. perfect. but you loveee it, its so hot to you that this woman who is usually perceived as tough and strong and reserved is such a mess in bed

shes spent many years with her beloved truck and for the longest time she had fantasies about fucking in there, which came true once you started dating <3 you love straddling her in her seat when youre parked somewhere secluded, or when you come home from a late night drive, youve definitely fucked in the backseat a few times when she drove you out to a lake or a nice spot where nobody else was around, you both get a thrill out of it, the leather seats, the semi-public feel of it all, the risk factor, the way the car kinda smells like sex when you drive home afterwards (you also love to gawk at her when shes fixing the truck, makes her take her sweet time with it)

loves pillow talk and savoring the post-sex glow, its something she never rushes or skips, shes will move you onto her chest and caress your back or let you lay where you are and kiss your body, eventually resting her head on your stomach so you can stroke her hair, or youll just wrap your arms around each other and stay like that for a while

that post on here thats like "dont shave your bush I will kill myself" thats something she might actually say bc she is for sure soo into bush its one of the most erotic things to her, everything about it, she loves when it tickles her nose, loves the soft feel of it when she puts her hands in your underwear to jerk you off, loves the look of it when you get dressed and your underwear is see-through enough for your bush to peek through, hottt as hell to her

if youre the type to wear lingerie, she’d be very into it, never takes it for granted - one of the hottest things ever to her is when her girl wears clothes that are not what you’d consider fancy or special while wearing the most beautiful, delicate underwear, the contrast kills her every time, the sight of a nice lacy bra peeking out of a tank top that you stole from her... phewww shes on her knees. immediately. same thing with panties, she always interrupts you when youre getting dressed to admire you when youre wearing nothing but a pair of lacy underwear, also loves when you wear regular comfortable cotton underwear, the sight of it wedged between your cheeks somehow makes her wanna take a chunk out of your ass every time.. also loves you in her boxers. everything really, shes a lover of whatever you have going on beneath your clothes <3

face sitting. being the giver in a submissive way is so deeply satisfying for her, so shell often just ask you to ride her face, you might be lying in bed in the afternoon just relaxing kissing a little and shell straight up ask if you want to use her face for a bit, shell happily lay back and use her strength to hold you up by your waist when you get tired and cant really brace yourself against the wall/headboard that well anymore, shell take it all without ever complaining, doesnt matter if you suffocate her, drench her whole face, kinda fuck up her neck, she doesnt care, shell be too drunk on the feel and taste and sight of having you on her like that, staring up at you with glazed over eyes, maybe using one hand to jerk herself off because shes too turned on and cant take it..

maybe one time she was feeling wild and told you to do it while you were wearing a dress outside, her just laying down on the lawn and telling you do it right there bc you could climb off her fast if someone did happen to come around the corner - again, she might be private and reserved but being caught isnt really an issue for her, shed just be like "and what. I will have my girl the way I want when I want, deal with it."

didnt use any toys on her own but can definitely get down with them when its with you! I think she might be too shy to suggest this but she’d absolutely lose her mind if she saw you riding a toy to get off, like you straddling it on her bed to give her the chance to see you from whatever angle she wants, unlike when youre riding her and she cant see you from far away etc. - I also think shes the type of lover who wants to know/see how you masturbate, or how you did it before you met her, its such a private thing and I think she loves the idea of being trusted with that information <3

rediscovered her love of receiving/bottoming with you - with hookups she usually only let them do things that didnt feel too vulnerable, i dont think she let any of them see her in positions that made her feel too exposed, but with you she feels safe enough to admit that she does like being on her hands and knees, that she likes to be finger-fucked until shes near tears, that she sometimes likes to just have her face in the pillows as you eat her out or touch her from the back, its not something that happens too often bc it does require a lot of trust on her part, but when shes really horny and youre being sweet and kissing her all over to get her worked up shell sometimes cave and beg you to just do whatever you want and get rough with her

especially with a younger partner shes turned on by the idea that someone who has less experience can ruin her like that, its a nice secret to have because she knows a lot of people would look at a lesbian who looks like her and assume that shes a top, but shes a switch through and through, would never give up one or the other

she wears a thin gold chain that she hardly ever takes off, so sometimes when youre fucking it dangles over your face, or you pull her in for a kiss by gently tugging at it <3

one time you found a playboy from her exact birth year and month at the antique book/magazine store and brought it home for her, which was more of a silly present but she did find it sweet/hot and left it on the coffee table as decor (you made her flip through it with you and teased her by pointing out which models you assumed she found the hottest, which she shut down by saying "well I would do the same to you right now but theyre all like what.. twenty years too young for you?", so you doubled-down and said "oh dont flatter yourself, I like women my age too", so she did briefly have a fantasy of you getting with a girl your own age as she watches you two, which struck a nerve, but she kept that to herself, at least for the time being..)

youre obsessed with her physique because she has the distinct shape of someone who earned their muscles through hard work, who didnt try to grow them out of a need to become as big as possible but who genuinely needs to be strong to do their daily tasks, so her muscles are not cartoonish or over the top, she just has a firmness to her stomach and thighs and back thats hottt as hell to you, her abs are subtle but theyre there, and your absolute weak spot: her V-line. when shes wearing a shirt thats too short to cover up the spot right above her pants and you can see those lines that lead down into her underwear.. it’s over. youre staring shamelessly, and she pretends she doesnt notice but she loveees it, shell lay back and stretch out her legs and count you gawking at the sight of her exposed stomach 😵‍💫

sometimes when shes tired she’ll just lay flat on her back on the bed, arms and legs spread out and let you crawl all over her, feel her up, do whatever the fuck you want, shes happy to just lay there and take it all, so you usually spoil her and kiss and touch her all over before getting to anything more intense, straddling her, playing with her hair, teasing her, kissing her neck, massaging her, biting her, you know she loves being trapped and helpless while shes exhausted and eager to be showered in affection <3

the first time you were with her when she said "good girl" to her horse you grinned and asked "who, me or her?", so she shot you a smug look and said "what are you doing right now thats praise worthy, hm?" but she definitely took note of it and brought it up later on in bed, which did make her say it less to her horse from that point on (oops..)

one time during your first weeks of dating you couldnt ride your designated horse because you were too sore from the night before and the friction hurt too badly.. she felt a little guilty so she kissed it better after she couldnt help but laugh when you climbed off and said "yeah not today, no fucking way" while pointing between your legs

loves having her hair pulled, sometimes she puts her hair up in a ponytail during sex just so you can easily tug on it to bend her neck and kiss her skin there <3

if you 69 she is always the one whose face is getting smothered, always, she wouldn’t like it if it was the other way around, but every once in a while when youre both in heat and desperate to fuck the other person, she’ll eat you out while you’re trying to hold your hips up over her mouth while you’re jerking her off/struggling to taste her bc of your moaning </3, you both love orgasming at the same time, being together in that state of helplessness, it’s something you crave

if you lost your virginity to her, I think shed offer for you to do something to her that nobody has ever done before to make it kind of even that way, its mostly her way of adding to the sentiment of "I want us to be equals" because she never wants you to feel like shes eager to overpower you or see you as a girl she gets to "corrupt", maybe you laid in bed once and she told you this and she took a moment too long to try and think of something that no lover has ever done to her so you jokingly said "whore." - but youre creative, so you definitely found things that you would be her "first" for

if youre feeling freaky hear me out.. maybe youre the first to ever put your whole hand inside of her. would take a good amount of patience and lubrication but I can see her getting off on it sooo intensely once you manage to slip all of your fingers inside of her... you staring in awe and telling her how hot it feels, and slowly, very slowly, moving your hand a bit.. I think being so full of her lover would ruin her so hard. and she’d be turned on from knowing that none of her longtime girlfriends ever got to do it to her. anway.

her sexual preferences always depends on yours in the sense that she wants to know what you need and then give it to you, if you just want your brains fucked out she’ll gladly give in, if you want to pleasure her without being touched in return shes down as well, if you want both shes never gonna deny you, which means! that when she does allow herself to take charge every now and then by manhandling you and telling you "come here" or "lay back" it ruins you because youre not used to it, she looves the look you get when she decides to be a bit rough for once

to put it plainly: your pleasure is her pleasure, always!

thats all for now! feel free to let your own imagination fill in the rest 💌

[galaxyspark-6e16]

My Viva gijinka design ✨🌟🌠 isn't she fantamazing!

[swhhdr-wthhr]

i know i haven't uploaded a new chapter for this fic in over half a year... and i probably won't any time soon... but here's some lore explained w/ virgil

[infernal-lamb]

Draw Neves at the bar , trauma dumping to heket (she's the bartender)

HFSLKJGKDGJLJKLDS pls this is so funny to me. Neves is a mess when she's drunk. she is now Heket's burden....here she is telling a very silly story

[xxplastic-cubexx]

cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..

[pencilofawesomeness]

The consequence of coming up with a full backstory for Sukuna for With the Storm is that I think about it too often. Little things remind me of it and I am compelled to talk about it; alas, it'll be, like, 20 chapters until fully get into it lmao.

Inspired by this amazing graphic made by @dappermouth which is very Sukuna-core to me and I could not stop thinking about it until I drew this.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

hey!! i made a which prime defender are you quiz just for funzies <3 a couple of the questions do have spoilers for late s2, so if you haven't finished ep39 at least you should probably wait to do it!! do my quiz boy :3

[paranormal-taters]

Love and Attraction in My Adventures with Superman

As someone who has never been particularly drawn by superhero media, I wasn't really sure what to expect when I first started watching My Adventures with Superman about a week ago. I had seen a few posts here on Tumblr that had piqued my interest, but all I really knew about it was that it was well-loved and had an art style that I knew I liked.

I absolutely did not expect to fall head over heels for the show entirely, or to be moved to tears multiple times by the wildly sweet, revolutionary relationship between this adaptation's Clark Kent and Lois Lane.

I say "revolutionary" because this romance touches on a lot of things that I feel are lacking in most modern portrayals of romance, and it handles them masterfully.

Most of what I reference/talk about in this post will focus on the first four episodes of season one (with a particular focus on the fourth episode, Let's Go to Ivo Tower, You Say) , because they are my favorite episodes and I think I can communicate what I want to by pulling mainly from those episodes. But I will be pulling bits and pieces from the whole series so consider yourself spoiler-warned.

The main point is this: I absolutely adore the way that physical attraction and emotional attraction are balanced between Clark and Lois.

The fact that this is possible comes from how well-crafted the dynamic is between the two of them; Lois' raw passion and energy inspires confidence and a mutual passion in Clark, and Clark's gentleness and kind heart inspire a tenderness in Lois that she was never given an outlet to show or receive. From this dynamic, a wealth of physical and emotional intimacy is naturally born. But never in the series do the two aspects of attraction feel out of balance; rather, they play off each other effortlessly. When one is brought into focus, the other quickly follows.

From the first episode and onward, it's obvious that Clark and Lois are awed by each other's physical appearance. Lois outright describes Clark as "beautiful" (which, if you saw one of my earlier posts from not too long ago, is something that makes me so incredibly happy to see in mainstream media).

To be fair, she doesn't say that to his face and says it in a moment of extreme frustration. But I still count it.

Anyways.

Upon seeing Lois for the first time, Clark is practically frozen in wonder for a good few seconds.

Lois, too, experiences this initial moment of attraction and almost immediately makes contact, with a playful punch to Clark's chest as he holds the door open for her.

This is a detail I really love, because first of all wow, I aspire to have her level of confidence. But also, it becomes clear early on in the series that Lois expresses herself very physically. She has no qualms regarding physical affection. Clark, on the other hand, is much more reserved and, at first, generally only initiates contact after an invitation from Lois, or after enough time has passed in their friendship for him to know that Lois is very physical and wouldn't have a problem with it.

There is also an immediate emphasis on Clark's concern for Lois' physical well-being. Take a sip of water every time Clark asks Lois if she's okay just in the first episode alone and you will be well hydrated.

Later on in this first episode, while trying to infiltrate a warehouse, Lois confidently asks Clark to boost her up to a window so she can get inside the building. Clark is immediately flustered, showing how much he feels out of his depth even with physical contact that, on the surface, would have no romantic connotations. (But to be fair, Lois is asking him to put his hands around her waist and lift her up when they literally just met like maybe six hours ago. I would be flustered too.)

And when Lois loses her balance and Clark effortlessly catches her, his first response (after blushing, of course) is to ask her:

Even in moments where the romantic tension is thick enough to cut with a knife and Clark clearly knows it, his first priority is to make sure she's okay.

And thus begins one of the strongest underlying themes throughout the whole building-up of their relationship, which is trust.

I'm gonna jump ahead now to the scene that inspired this whole post: the stairwell scene in episode four.

A basic rundown: Clark, Lois, and Jimmy are given an assignment to attend a tech unveiling for the city's top investors at Amazotech headquarters. Lois, naturally, ignores the parameters of the assignment and tries to use it as an opportunity to expose corruption in the city and get her stop-the-presses story. Clark very reluctantly follows her lead, believing that she will get herself into trouble . . . until Dr. Ivo, head of Amazotech, makes a few rude comments about Lois' appearance (Lois doesn't hear these, only Clark). This deeply irritates Clark and prompts him into revealing how much he knows about Dr. Ivo's corrupt business dealings, in an attempt to intimidate the truth out of Dr. Ivo, who responds by having Clark thrown out of the building and into a pile of garbage in an adjacent alleyway. Lois comes to find Clark (who is unhurt) and teases him about whether or not she should let him back in the building, since he didn't follow the assignment. Clark jokes that he doesn't even meet the dress code anymore, revealing that his suit jacket was torn as he was tossed out of the building.

Lois then reveals that she came prepared for this, and tells Clark to "take it off."

Clark immediately becomes flustered again and begins stammering as Lois pulls him back into the building by his jacket, continuing to tease him.

It's in these moments, as you can see, that the lighting of the scene changes. As soon as Lois says "take it off", everything is bathed in a rosy light. This happens frequently between these two; often, when we the audience are seeing one of these characters through the perspective of the other, the lighting takes on a very dreamy quality. This will come up again momentarily.

As Lois and Clark ascend the stairs, Lois removes her jacket and pulls a sewing kit from her pocket, admitting that she carries one on her because she herself has torn a lot of her clothing on her escapades.

The two then sit down on the stairs, and Clark removes his jacket. The lighting changes again, and we see Clark from Lois' eyes. It's clear by the dreamy lighting and the way that Lois blushes and involuntarily chokes out a "Wow . . ." that she is once again awed by him and deeply attracted to him on a physical level.

And this scene represents so much about their growing dynamic. It honestly has me floored.

But before I explain fully, I have to go on a tangent about my beloved Clark.

Throughout the beginning of the series, I believe Clark shows several signs that indicate that he is insecure about his physical appearance. Which you wouldn't expect, right? I mean, look at him. He's objectively a dreamboat. He was designed to be that way.

But at this stage of knowing so little about where he really came from or who he is, I think Clark struggles with not having a way to explain his physique. He admits that he wasn't an athlete in school; he was in the chess club. He doesn't work out as an adult. And yet he has the muscles of a bodybuilder. But, like so many other aspects of himself, he doesn't have a way to explain it. This causes a disconnect in how he sees himself physically; he likely feels as though he doesn't deserve his naturally impressive physique. And you could argue that he even does his best to hide it. As a civilian, he generally wears bulky, layered clothing like sweatshirts and sweaters. He slouches and carries himself in a very inward direction; his shoulders are often forward and his arms close to his sides, as if he is habitually attempting to make himself smaller.

This is one thing that brought me to tears when I saw it. The idea that a person can feel insecure about having physical attributes that would normally be seen as positive (and that they can't explain and/or feel that they don't deserve) is not very well-explored in media, but it is experienced by quite a few people, myself being one of them. But often in the real world when someone attempts to express this kind of insecurity, they are shut down and mocked and told to "be grateful" for what they have because others would envy them. Which I can say from personal experience is unbelievably damaging to a person's self image. So seeing this possibly be represented in Clark Kent himself was incredibly moving to me.

But back to the scene itself.

In the most recent gif above, this is the most vulnerable Lois has seen Clark thus far. What I think is so beautiful is the way that she invites him into this vulnerability by making herself vulnerable first.

Rewind a bit. Outside the building, Lois tells Clark to take his jacket off. Not a big deal, right? It's not like he's not wearing an undershirt. But Clark becomes flustered, not outright expressing that he's uncomfortable with this, but certainly indicating that he's not exactly at ease with it either.

Next we see them climbing up the stairs, and as they do so, Lois removes her own jacket and reveals her bare back to Clark in the process.

I believe this was incredibly intentional. This scene would have carried a very different tone if Lois' outfit was revealing in any other way. But the fact that her back is exposed symbolizes that she trusts him, in a physical and emotional sense. It's like when my cat Penny rolls on her back and exposes her fluffy tummy. Lois revealing this part of herself was her saying "I trust you, I feel safe with you, and I'll be vulnerable with you if you'll be vulnerable with me."

And only after that does Clark remove his jacket.

Because there is the factor of attraction at play, there is a lot of blushing and stammering going on in the beginning of this scene. These are two incredibly attractive people who are incredibly attracted to each other, after all. But immediately after the initial romantic tension, there is emotional vulnerability as well. Lois confides in Clark about her relationship with her dad, and the crippling self-doubt that she has kept very close to her chest. Clark jumps to reassure her in earnest, telling her that she has "changed his life for the better, in every possible way."

And that is what I meant at the beginning of the post when I mentioned balance.

Every moment of physical attraction in this series is followed by or harmonized with a moment of emotional vulnerability. Clark and Lois both invite each other deeper into each aspect of connection, and thus their relationship builds in an incredibly natural and beautiful way.

At this point, I think this post is about five miles long as the crow scrolls and I should probably stop now before all my thoughts run away with me. I could go on forever about the impact that this series and these characters have had on me, though. I will forever be grateful to the creators for giving us such an incredible series, and such a beautiful romance.

[tunastime]

learn a little, get a little

happy (late, oops!) valentines! one of my good friends helped me churn up an idea for the heart day itself (a normal day for me and the lads, but a fun day nonetheless), and we settled on SEN ranchers <3 enjoy... the mess they are

in which Jimmy tries to come up with a brilliant and foolproof plan to ask Tango if he wouldn't mind trying something new with him. despite the word foolproof, Jimmy is, in fact, the fool. (1835 words)

Jimmy paces the length of his room. 

He's on off shift. He'd started work at 4am ship’s time and taken his mandatory rest period at 3pm ship’s time and set himself as off duty. It was quite the productive shift, too. And, he'd actually managed to snag Tango today for their meal period at noon ship’s time.

Tango would be gone for another hour and a half, though, so it would be approximately that long until Jimmy saw him again. Which was fine. because Jimmy was absolutely having a crisis that Tango did not need to see. 

He wasn't panicking—not really. The joy of finally having a proper emotional regulator meant he spent less of his time panicking and more of his time anxious, which, despite the similar strain on his central processor and its fans, was easier to solve, and easier to work himself through to a proper solution. Which explained why he tracked the same space of molded flooring until he felt like the joints in his hips were starting to hurt.

Tango was a lot of things, and special to Jimmy was right up there on the top of the list. He was also smart, and kind, and observant, and as much of a fan of physical touch as Jimmy was. He liked to press himself into the slot of his side when they took rest periods together, and he liked to hold to the inside of Jimmy's elbow, or put his hand on the small of his back, or lace their fingers together. And even with his friends, he liked to follow right at their shoulder, or lean into their personal space to listen to them, or clap their shoulder. He liked the tactile sensation of people, even if the affection wasn't necessarily romantic, or any sort of affectionately-coded at all. It wasn't an emotion Tango felt; the fringes of happy, neutral resting, bubbling anger, the starts of understanding, left over from Jimmy's influence? Absolutely. Anything else? Not so much. 

Tango didn't love him, and that wasn't, never was, the problem. He loved Tango, and Tango adored him in a way very particular to Tango, and liked to learn and touch him and hold him and listen to his wants and needs. Tango pulled Jimmy into his arms and let him sink his head into his neck, curled his hands in his hair and stroked down his back. He understood him. Watched media with him. Learned to laugh because of him.

Jimmy squeezes his eyes shut, chest rolling with turbulent feeling. Unease and anxiety, flickers of affection. He wanted to give Tango something new and different, some new sensation and task to learn, some new way to be tactile with him. But it was so romantic. And he was worried, drawing his cheek between his teeth, that Tango wouldn't like it.

If Jimmy was being honest, he had only just learned about it a few weeks prior. They'd been watching one of Jimmy's favorite historical dramas, absorbed silently in the mediocre acting and subpar effects. It was something so very human of those characters, something Jimmy realized, with a sudden and startling rush of want so strong he had to press his face into the warm rise of Tango's shoulder in front of him (and Tango had chuckled and ran his fingers through Jimmy's hair), that he wanted to do.

Jimmy wants to kiss him. He just doesn't know how to ask.

And now Tango will be back in an hour.

Jimmy folds his arms and starts to pace again, feeling his hip joint slot back into place. An hour was more than enough time to daydream any sort of scenario where he actually succeeded in making the words come out of his mouth. It would also be an ample amount of time to determine what he would say after he asked Tango. Because, aside from mustering the courage to say something as simple and nerve-wracking as how do you feel about kissing, he also had to figure out what he would say if Tango said I don’t like it, or worse: sounds good.

Sounds good. Sounds good? Is that really what he thought Tango sounded like? Jimmy presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, and though there’s no real sensation of pressure, the very human outlet of energy makes his secondary processor fans kick on, so he doesn’t need to take a long, sharp, cooling breath to feel like his head is still screwed on straight. Focus. Focus.

If he said: Tango, how do you feel about kissing? And Tango said: I think it sounds fine, Jimmy supposes he’ll have to ask him if he’d want to try it some time. And by some time maybe he meant that day. Or now. An hour from now, since obviously Tango wasn’t here, but now in the little, mental simulation he’s running. And maybe Tango would say yes to that, too, and then he and Jimmy would need to figure out the logistics of actually making that work. Jimmy actually sighs this time, expelling hot air as he shuts down all twelve of the simulations he was running in real time. For a moment he actually feels lucky he’s not a construct or a human with organic parts and human anatomy, because he’s certain that he would have upturned something inside him with the anxiety that washed over him at the prospect of trying to make it work. They could, though. He’s certain of it. So certain, in fact—

With a small, pleasant chime and swish, the door to Jimmy’s—to Jimmy and Tango’s cabin, slides open. Jimmy stutters, freezing in place at the center of the room. Tango blinks, and his eyes go wide and soft in a version of a smile that fits his face better than his mouth upturning.

“Just who I expected!” Tango says brightly.

“Tango!” Jimmy says, voice squeaking through his vocal unit. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be back for another half-hour?”

Tango laughs a familiar halting, scratchy sound. Jimmy feels his core processor take on more weight of calculations, but he can’t tell why. Well, he knows why, but he can’t tell what it’s processing. Focus.

“I thought so too,” Tango says, shrugging out of his uniform jacket. He’s a smaller stature than Jimmy, all sharp edges and compact to fit in cargo hold containers and maintenance shafts and in the smallest spacesuit HASA made. “But Bdubs didn’t need any more help with his project that he thought he’d need my superior brain for, so he said he’d tag me on the feed if he needed anything.”

Tango shrugs. The relaxed slope of his demeanor softens Jimmy’s worry back into something more manageable. He takes another cooling breath in and out.

“That’s lovely,” Jimmy says cheerily. So much for attempting to figure out what he was going to say. Maybe he could put it off for a little longer. Yeah. Sure! He could just put it off and then try again later. That would be fine. He could just keep thinking on this, and make it worse, and certainly he wouldn’t feel more awful about it. More awful? Awful-er?

“Mhm!” Tango agrees. He turns to Jimmy as he successfully doffs his boots, setting his hands on his hips. “Having a good off shift?”

Jimmy nods. “Been scheming about what shows we could watch.”

Tango’s expression brightens twofold.

“Oh, sweet!” he says, grinning. “I’d love that.”

Jimmy smiles, matching that lopsided grin as Tango moves around him and into his space. Tango pauses for a moment to reach up, squishing Jimmy’s face in his hands, before he pulls away, supposedly to park himself in a comfortable chair. As he pulls away, though, he stutters, stops.

“Actually,” he says. “I love that plan. But I’d wanted to ask you something.”

Jimmy blinks owlishly. Something that he thinks his emotional calculations module would label dread seeps into his wiring.

“Shoot,” he says, a hair softer than he’d meant to.

“So,” Tango starts, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. It folds and parts on the same perfect axis. “I’ve been thinking a little bit, and we watched a really cool historical show the other night? And the characters—well they’re obviously in romantic love, and stuff, but they’re just as touchy as we are, and they—at some point, they did something, and I haven’t—I was wondering—”

Jimmy is very very lucky he has no organic parts. He thinks he may have gotten sick with excitement. He blurts:

“Do you want to try kissing sometime?”

Do you want to try kissing sometime. That’s the sentence he was supplied with. This has got to be some kind of joke. Tango blinks, but his fond and soft expression doesn’t change. He tilts his head ever so, and, for an odd, fleeting moment, Jimmy thinks that if either of them could blush, Tango would be especially red in the face right now.

“You were thinking about it?” Tango asks, almost wistful, just a touch surprised. Jimmy nods.

“I thought it… might be fun. And interesting for you. And nice for me.”

Tango smiles, broad and toothy.

“I think it would be too.”

Jimmy grins back at him.

“Cool,” he says lamely, eyes immediately falling to his hands. “That would be cool.”

“Yeah,” Tango says, still sounding a little bit out of breath, despite not needing to breathe. “Um… did you want to?”

“Want to?” Jimmy parrots. He blinks at him.

“To try it. Um. Kissing. Right now.”

Blinking again, back to blinking. Jimmy blows out a hot breath through his teeth as he stares at Tango, and Tango’s wide yellow eyes stare back at him, and Jimmy can’t get the words out of his vocal unit. Instead, as his mouth moved to try and speak, he nods. Tango nods too.

“Okay!” Tango laughs pitchily. “Sure, okay. That’s great. Um. How?”

Jimmy blanks, blinking down at Tango in front of him. Not really down, more like slightly tilted down, and over, watching the open expression, delighted expression on his face. His processor stalls and skips for what feels like a subjective hour and is a objective five seconds. 

“We’ll just… do it like real people do. And make it up from there.”

Tango takes a small step, then a smaller one, and another, until he’s crowded just close enough to bump noses with him if he really tries. Close enough to see the fine lines of where the silicon skin slotted together around his eyes. To count each artificial lash. Tango cups his hands around his face, like he’s done hundreds of times (Jimmy has the number somewhere, but that’s not exactly relevant right now, is it?), like he’s about to knock their foreheads together. He smiles with his eyes. Jimmy smiles back, his body warm from all the mechanics trying to keep up with him. Tango’s eyes track his face for just a moment.

“Now you’re speaking my language.”

[qoldenskies]

Just wanted to say I really like how you write Splinter. It feels very authentic as someone with a home life like that so I find your fics vry cathartic :)

thank you! ;~; i have very complicated feelings on splinter because i admit that the "good/bad parent splinter" tags kind of annoy me sometimes just a little... because i think splinter is a parent they all love and cherish and adore and they end up with good relationships with him from what's shown, but we also must not undermine it. splinter was a neglectful parent, and neglect is abuse, and that is extremely noticeable in the way that they all act. but it also wasn't his fault for being mentally ill and... i suppose the whole transformation feels like a metaphor for physical disability? ive always seen it as something kind of like chronic illness.

splinter's a victim of circumstance and he is not fully responsible for the position he put them in. the sad reality is that the closest equivalent is living a life in poverty, and the kind of situations raph and donnie were put in can happen to kids even with attentive, considerate and healthy parents. but this doesn't mean poor, or disabled, or mentally ill people shouldn't be having children. that is a eugenicist narrative that would also predominantly be applied to and enforced on people of color. the problem lies in the lack of resources and capitalism as a whole. i feel like making him unambiguously abusive because he's malicious and hates his kids can be kind of a cop-out, although it depends on the story you want to tell.

i do think accountability is something i want to hit splinter with and the show does try to do it to at least some extent-- but also it's a comedy first and foremost. some of splinter's neglect is played up for goofs and gaffes so i feel like taking gags to show that he's secretly an abuser (whatever the hell the end of lair games was, or him whacking them with his tail, for example) is kind of disingenuous lmao. rise plays up very real problems for the sake of comedic effect, and i like that there's some underlying things to pick at in-between the lines that makes the characters feel so alive. i feel like it's what fanfic's for.

but also i understand why people DONT like splinter. there are some parts of his characterization, especially his design, that are very racist. i just hate when people make his depiction even more racist when they make him evil. i also dont like the fatphobia in the show idk. the biggest reason i havent drawn him is because i would want to redesign him, but i cant really fix the weird racist undertones without making him anything but a rat i fear.

[taraxippos]

Cuz I know you man! Also you casually mention RPGs like, a weird amount.

(The Gang Tends Bar themed carfire for @its-always-ziney-in-philadelphia Valentines Zine)

[pastasilly]

grieving over the cancelled treasure series so badly im starting to make my own episodes

[nonsensenook]

Chapter 5 | Scattered Ashes, Fluttering Lights

Synopsis: In the second to last part of the journey you’re still finding yourself in the most precarious of situations. A continuation of this unapologetic take on you, the reader, accompanying the Destined One on his journey.

Word Count: 5,881

Warnings: Violence

Author’s Note: Whew, finally got this chapter finished. This chapter in particular was a struggle in many more ways than one. For those waiting for its release, I thank you deeply for your patience. I hope you enjoy! 

Read on AO3: Link

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 3.5 (Optional) - Ch. 4 - Cont.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Between the two extremes, going through the scorching Ashen Pass had you miss the bitter cold of the New West. At least in those snowy mountains the enemies were often frozen and still. Here amidst the blaze, enemies wielded fire and explosive deaths. The constant smoke and ash in the air made it hard to breathe. The flames burning through all the oxygen didn’t help in that regard. You weren’t sure if your eyebrows were still intact or if they were already singed off. Though you wore fire-resistant gear, you would still sip at the cooling drink you carried as a precaution while your group ventured deeper into the flaming mountains.

You were distracted and tense. You couldn’t seem to focus on whatever Bajie was mapping out to traverse the mountains. You felt irritated feeling your clothing and hair, slick with sweat, sticking to your skin. You couldn’t shake that sick feeling in your stomach that it wasn’t just the environment gnawing at you. The headache you were getting from all the smoke only added to your discomfort. You felt like a short fuse attached to a mountain leveling explosive which your companions were gently escorting. Though Bajie would typically comment on your demeanor both he and the Destined One stayed mum on it. You were inwardly grateful that they knew enough to leave you well alone. 

You were initially a bit taken by Pingping, seeing her in person. She was lovely and captivating, though you only managed a glance as when she stepped forward the Destined One stepped back, fully obscuring you. He was a wall you gently pushed aside. You didn’t feel that threatened when you were fully aware of what hand your foe would deal. You watched Pingping remind Bajie of his role in her mother’s death. As Bajie hesitated, Pingping locked eyes with you. She stepped towards you, taking your hands in hers and looking into your eyes. 

“Please kind human,” she pleaded with moist eyes, “I only wish to help those dearest to me.” You blinked, quite impressed at her efforts as she pulled at your sympathies. Bajie was having none of it, though in the end it transpired the same if only just a step off. 

Pingping turned into a fox and hurried along, urging you and the Destined One to follow her. You turned to Bajie who slipped a cicada to the Destined One then addressed you. 

“We both already know that Fox Guai is as two-faced as I am pig-headed, but-” 

“That doesn’t change the original plan,” you finished. 

Bajie narrowed his eyes, “Precisely,” he says. 

You didn’t argue with Bajie, though it seemed he expected you to. You pretended to not notice him exchange a look with the Destined One. You already went through the possibilities countless times before stepping foot on this mountain. Revealing Pingping's tricks now would still lead to the same outcome in the end and no doubt a bigger and bloodier battle. As you watched Bajie leave in his wind form you wondered if this was truly a conclusion you’ve drawn or simply acceptance to the story that is playing out. You weren’t sure if you wanted the answer. 

~

You stood staring down at the final resting place of the Pale-Axe Stalwart. You had already let  the Destined One know you would wait for him at the mouth of the Bishui cave. On this very rare occasion, perhaps the first in your journey, you felt you needed some time away from the Young Sage. You needed to be alone, just for a moment. You were surprised to glance up and see the Destined One still there, watching you. Typically, he’d do as you say under your guidance without question. Yet, he was hesitant to leave you this time. You could only offer a reassuring smile.

The Destined One was not convinced. His unmoved expression made you gently but firmly nudge him towards the cave. He obediently went towards the mouth, but turned to glance back at you. You kneeled down doing your best to look like the very picture of a safe companion simply waiting for his return.“Go on,” you urged, “I promise I’ll stay out of trouble.” After staring at you for a moment longer you watched him finally enter the cave. 

However, as Bajie said before and time again, trouble sought you out like a flame seeks fuel. Not long after the Destined One left, you felt the ground rumble beneath your feet. Just as your hand reached for your blade an arrow pierced your sleeve, pinning you down. You quickly tried to reach towards the arrow to wretch it free only for another one to graze your upper arm. You instinctively covered your wound, your hand coming away stained with fresh blood. You looked up to see a small army enter the barren clearing led by a Bull Yaoguai. 

As they stopped just at the entrance of the clearing you heard the Bull Yaoguai lightly scold the archer for firing without his say so. The archer wasn’t listening. You watched as he nocked another arrow and drew the string back. 

“We need them alive, you dolt,” snarled the Bull Guai. In response the archer aimed lower towards your legs rather than your vital organs. 

The Bull Guai nodded in approval, “That’s better.” 

You didn’t move as your gaze stayed on the archer. You knew this one only needed a whisper of a reason to let that arrow fly. You drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly through your mouth. Your eyes went to the Bull Guai beside the archer who unsheathed two hand-axes and began leisurely pacing. 

“Odd of that monkey to have left you by your lonesome, delicate human that you are,” commented the Bull Guai, turning the axes in his hands. You watched as he scanned the area. Though his head turned slowly, you saw his eyes darting quickly around. You noticed that he’s yet to actually step into the clearing. “Where is that lover of yours?” he asked. 

You heard crass laughter from the little army. The Bull’s smile widened. “Oh, no need to be shy about it. Wondering how I know?” he asked, taking his first tentative step towards you. “Even amidst all this fire and smoke you very well reek of him.” 

As snickers and small laughter rippled through the army you took an estimated headcount. Over two dozen Yaoguai were armored up and brandishing weapons. You noted how some of them nervously clutched their gear and wondered why none had stepped forward to overwhelm you though they could do so easily. They were cautious, afraid. You didn’t need to guess on what or who it was that had them so on alert. You thought of bluffing your way through, but what good would that do you? It would only take a few seconds for them to realize your lie and place you in a very awkward situation. These weren’t like the rat bandits, they were a well trained legion of soldiers used to order and commands. You felt your heart beat faster as every card up your sleeve scattered uselessly around you. 

“Must’ve been quite the chore to keep you alive through these mountains,” the Bull Guai remarked, taking another small step towards you as he continuously scanned the scene. You watched his smile stretch into a grin as he realized the one threat he was warned of wasn’t around. It was just you. A wounded, pinned, and helpless little human.  He made a show of strutting freely into the clearing as his army followed. The distance between you and the end of a blade was shortening. 

“Master had me gather all these soldiers, but I see now that we were over zealous,” the Bull laughed, “Why don’t you make this easier for all of us and be an obedient little captive?” As the army began advancing you looked back at the archer with his bow still drawn. His pace was slower than the others given his stance, but his aim stayed true. The army was getting closer as you became fully focused on where your hidden knife was. Fear embraced you like an old friend. You rudely shoved it aside. Gritting your teeth, you ran through every possibility you could act on in the next twenty seconds. It always comes down to a chance. 

As the army closed in on you an impatient Yaoguai shoved past the archer. His bow-string loosened. As Bajie would say, if nothing else you were truly blessed with well timed luck. You ripped your arm from the arrow pinning you down, tearing your sleeve in the process. As one hand reached into your robe to pull your blade from its sheath, the other was pulling the red cord at your waist taut. In one quick movement the blade slices through the cord as if it were water. Strands of gold scattered all around you as the army began rushing forward. 

From the golden strands smoke clouds appeared, obscuring your vision. Just as it came the smoke dissipated as the end of a staff cut through the haze in front of you. You look up to find a perfect copy of the Destined One with his signature subtle scowl. All around you copies of the Destined One formed a protective barrier between you and the army. Each stood ready with a staff in hand, eyes trained at the dumbfounded Yaoguai.  

For just a moment the clearing was still from any movement. It wasn’t every day a small army of monkeys suddenly appeared from thin air and one would understandably need a moment to register that image. The Destined Ones took advantage and charged at the army who just about managed to gather themselves. 

The two groups collided as the sound of weapons clashing and cries of battle filled the air. You got to your feet with your blade clutched in your hand. The cord at your waist unraveled as you stood, scattering more strands as even more copies appeared to join the fray. In the hurricane of brutality you alone stood calmly in the eye. Adrenaline was seeping out of you as you felt your grip loosen on the blade. 

You snapped your head left as a large LavaBull Revenant tore itself from the storm to charge at you. You didn’t move as you watched it raise its axe high. The axe cuts through the air in a downward arch. You heard a loud clang resonate above you as a staff stopped the axe from splitting your skull. Strands of your hair fluttered back from the impact. As one Destined One blocked the attack you watched as another jumped onto the back of the LavaBull and used his staff to put the Revenant into a chokehold. The one blocking took the chance to knock the axe out of his hands. As the distracted Bull Guai clawed fruitlessly at its back the young Sage puppeteer it to stumble around making it knock aside other unsuspecting Yaoguai. 

You saw a pair of copies kick two enemies together as a third unleashed a charged attack from above to finish them off. It was a wonder to watch as they worked in sync with one another, though it must be expected given they all share the same mind. In the midst of the chaos you felt more relaxed. After all, you knew that so long as the Destined One was by your side, whether the real deal or a perfect copy, no harm would befall you. Which meant it gave you time to be exhausted over the whole ordeal. Almost becoming a bartering chip bothered you less than what’s been on your mind since coming to this mountain. 

You let out a sigh and re-sheathed your blade. Both Bajie and the Destined One had noted your countenance in their own ways. You did your best to not dwell on their wordless gestures to one another when they thought you weren't looking. It filled you with guilt, but you couldn’t even find the reason why this blanket of dread had slipped onto you. You looked up at the sky and closed your eyes. No, it wasn’t that you couldn't find the reason. It was more so that you were afraid to admit it. For months now you’ve done everything to distract yourself from thinking about it, but one can only ignore the inevitable for so long. You weren’t ready to acknowledge that everything was coming to an end. 

You let out another breath before opening your eyes to find a Bull Guai soldier charging at you. This one was running desperately at you without even a weapon in hand. You watched as a Destined One jumped into the air behind the Bull and kicked him to the ground where he slid inches from you. The Destined One’s foot stomped down on the Bull’s neck in a final blow. 

You looked up and found the Young Sage smiling softly down at you. He held out his hand. Naturally, you gave him yours. As the Yaoguai below him disintegrated he caressed your hand gently with his thumb and lifted it to his lips. You managed to smile, marveling at his timing for a romantic gesture. In the next instance he jerks you forward as you hear something slice through the air and crack the ground where you just stood. The momentum carried you past him and into another pair of identical arms. You heard the telltale sound of a staff end cracking down on a skull behind you. 

This Destined One carefully wiped something off your cheek with his thumb while his other hand caressed your face. Your smile widened watching him be so concentrated on this little task. Then you saw something fast move behind him. A Yaoguai was coming in close with a sword. Satisfied with his cleaning, this Destined One held your face gently before stepping back. Spinning quickly, his foot promptly connected with and dislocated the jaw of a Revenant. As this copy bounced away yet another took his place. 

This one examined the cut on your arm closely before holding out his hand, palm turned upwards at the sky. On cue, a clean piece of cloth landed into his palm. You saw the copy that delivered it just briefly before he disappeared into the fray. Where this cloth was procured from, you didn’t mind enough to question. This Destined One began wrapping the makeshift bandage around your arm as yet another Bull Guai let out a cry of fury from the side. He came charging fast with a cracked axe aimed at the both of you. Without looking up, this Destined One nonchalantly waved his hand towards the raging Bull, immobilizing it in place mid stride. You giggled as this Young Sage simply continued at his task as if he'd just briefly shooed away a pesky fly. Finished with bandaging you up, this Destined One tilted your chin up to look at your smile. As the spell of  immobilization was broken he swept you up and tossed you into another pair of awaiting arms. 

It seemed that each copy spared a moment to share with you as you were pulled, spun, placed, and lifted this way and that while the roaring battle raged on. At some point you began to laugh as you danced around the battlefield from partner to partner. You felt your heavy heart lighten with each pair of arms that caught and steadied you. Eventually, the very last enemy disintegrated as its weapon fell to the ground. One by one the many duplicates disappeared in a puff of smoke around you until there was just one left. This Destined One reached his hand out towards your face. His expression was soft, content. As if he would never ask to be anywhere else but here. His hand just managed to touch a strand of your hair before he too disappeared. The clearing was quiet once again. 

~

The sunset was casting the sky in a mellow shade of orange and violet. Barren mountains were left behind and your group welcomed familiar lush forest. Another day of travel was winding down. You twirled the Willow Staff around you creating a protective barrier similar to the Destined One’s when he deflected arrows. You finally got the movement and speed down consistently while still walking no less. 

“I’d like to see an arrow get through this,” you boasted, enjoying the little breeze you were creating as you picked up some speed. You stopped the movement in a rather impressive manner, dramatically holding the staff out in front of you. You then spun the staff slowly, mimicking your companion perfectly in his stance. You gave the Destined One a satisfied look then felt something small hit you in the stomach. A berry rolled to a stop at your feet. Bajie scoffed, “And there goes the human, dead with an arrow to the guts.” 

You fixed Bajie a glare, “And here goes Bajie, dead with a dent in his skull.” 

“Oh, you’re getting bold, kid. A good knock to the head should humble you.”

Just seeing that smirk on Bajie’s face had your hand tighten on the staff. Before things could escalate further a voice interrupted the petty squabble. 

“Excuse me…” You turned around to find a human man with a large pack on his back. He adjusted his pack nervously when you met his eyes. Though not the first human you’ve stumbled on in this world you suddenly found yourself self conscious. He’d just overheard you threatening to cave in your companion's thick skull. The human cleared his throat, “Are you all headed to the festival as well? It seems I’ve lost my way.” 

This one seemed accustomed to Yaoguai having not hesitated to approach your little group despite the presence of Bajie or the Destined One. 

“We’ve no time to waste on such pleasantries,” stated Bajie, thumping the ground with the end of his rake. You tilted your head to the side questioningly, “A festival?” you asked, “I didn’t know there was one near here.” 

The human smiled shyly, casting his eyes down, “Oh, I’m sorry. I assumed-well not many take this path save for when the festival is happening.” He stepped around your little group with a small apologetic bow. “I’m sure I’ll find my way there,” he took a few steps then turned around as if remembering something, “Oh, but if you change your mind maybe I’ll see you there?” Though the question seemed extended to your little group, he still held his gaze solely on you. 

You blinked at him. He awkwardly stepped backwards, almost tripping over a branch on the path. “All are welcome human or Yaoguai,” he added quickly then off down the path he went. You watched him disappear down the hill before Bajie spoke up. 

“Well, aren’t you a little vixen? Poor fool is completely smitten,” commented Bajie. 

You rolled your eyes, “Your sight is failing you, old pig. That glare of yours would make anyone nervous” 

“Oh he was nervous alright. I was nearly deafened by how loud his heart was beating,” Bajie cackled, “Careful there, Nephew. Seems your little peach here has gained some interest.” 

You ignored Bajie and turned to the Destined One. You found him staring down the path, his gaze not leaving the hill the human had disappeared behind. Feeling your stare, he turned to you. His expressions held nothing out of the norm. 

“Have you ever been to a festival?” you asked. As expected, he shook his head. You felt excitement dance through your heart as you imagined what it would be like to attend one with him. Bajie thumped the end of his rake down, promptly crushing your little daydream before it even started. 

“No. We are not wasting any time with that. We’ve gathered all five relics. We need to make it to Mount Huaguo without any more diversions.” 

You opened your mouth then closed it. Bajie was right and no one needed to say anything for you to know you were the main cause of enough diversion on this journey. You took a breath, “You’re right, Bajie. Let’s continue on.” You started down the path with the Destined One matching your steps, but the Pig Guai remained still. You turned back to him. 

“Bajie?” 

He was stroking his chin in thought. He hummed at the sky then hummed at the ground. He looked up at you and finally reached his answer. 

“On second thought, my belly is craving some sweets. We can spare some time to eat.” Bajie brushed past without looking at you, though if he did he would’ve seen the silly grin that lit up your face. He started down the path with his snout tilted up, “Quickly now, before they run out of Tangyuan.” 

~

The festival grounds were bustling as stalls lined the outer edges of a beautiful lake. The sun had just slipped under the horizon as the last of the day's colors slowly faded. Paper lanterns decorated the stalls and trees, lighting up the pathway in a soft glow. You found long lines forming towards the temple at the very back as families took their turns to offer thanks and prayers. You watched as children ran by giggling as their chaperones exchanged heartfelt greetings. Just like the man had said earlier, humans and Yaoguai were intermingling with no cause for alarm. Some children were chasing each other near the lake. The young Rabbit Guai was easily outrunning a human and Snake Guai as their laughter filled the air. You witness a human laugh as they jumped into a burly Guai’s arms before they were tossed up and caught. You felt warm in this atmosphere.

Bajie made a beeline for a stall, not looking back as his small form disappeared in the pack of festival goers. You took your time by taking the natural path around the lake with the Destined One at your side. He didn’t seem particularly excited, but he was relaxed enough to put his staff away and take in the scene with you. It was different being among so many people in this mood of celebration rather than sorrow or rage. It almost felt nostalgic. 

You pass a crowd sitting around a small decorated stage obscured by a white sheet. Someone had made sure to douse each paper lantern around so that only one light source remained to illuminate the back of the little theater. It was a shadow puppet show. A small band sat off to the side, playing along to the scene the narrating puppet master was weaving together. It seemed to be a love story. Two lovers separated by divine decree who were only able to reunite once a year across a bridge made of magpies. Though you only were able to catch the last moments of the show, you politely applauded along with the crowd as the band struck its final tune. 

“A bit of a change of pace to have someone other than me or Bajie telling a story, hm?” you said, continuing down the path of stalls as the Young Sage matched your pace. He seemed to have enjoyed the story seeing how his posture was much more relaxed than before. You see something catch his attention from a stall behind you. A small line of people were waiting for what looked to be a dessert with fruits coated in hardened syrup on a stick: Tanghulu. The person behind the stall called out for the last batch of the dessert before they were sold out. 

You realized Bajie took the correct approach of going to the stalls first. Quickly, you set the Destined One in the line for the Tanghulu while you went searching for the Tangyuan Bajie was raving about. Luckily, you didn’t have to look too far as it was only a few stalls down. You joined the line, relieved to see it wasn’t too long, when someone tapped you on the shoulder. It was the same young man from before, now without the heavy burden of his pack. 

“I see you ended up coming,” he said with a nervous smile. 

You politely smiled back, “Yes, I’m glad I was able to come,” you replied. 

He beamed at you which gave you an odd feeling. You felt he’d taken more from your statement than you had given. You both chatted idly as the line slowly moved up. He spoke about how he visited the festival yearly to help out a family friend who was owed a debt. You prepared to be vague about your own travels, but thankfully he didn’t ask much. At one point you began politely giving automatic hums to show you were listening as he droned on. He snapped you from your daze with a sudden statement. 

“You seem…different. I don’t know how to put it,” he seemed to catch himself, “I apologize I didn’t mean it in a bad way just…different.” 

You hummed, “I don’t get called that often, I’m as average a human as any other,” you said. There was just one more person in front of you. The young man held his neck nervously as his gaze shifted to the ground. 

“If you don’t mind, once we get our food, would you like to eat them with me? Together?”

Your smile froze in place in an effort to hold back the storm of curses aimed at a certain Pig Guai. You could so easily imagine him rolling on the ground right now if he only knew. 

You opened your mouth to cutely but politely decline when a tall figure stepped between you and the young man. The Destined One placed himself between the two of you with a stick of Tanghulu hanging from his lips. His tail was slowly and methodically going to and fro while his form stood rigid as rock. A dangerous sign. You stepped aside to glance at his face. His eyes were ablaze in a silent rage.

“Oh, you’re that monkey that they’re travelling with,” said the young man, absolutely oblivious to the deadly glare and ominous aura emanating from the Destined One in waves. 

The Young man boldly tried to step around him, “Um, could you step a little to the side? I was just asking them-” 

You watched the Young Sage reach a hand towards his ear. You quickly tried to hold his arm down, though you may as well be trying to upheave an oak tree. One light tap from his staff alone would kill this man! 

“Wait-” you began to say when a new boisterous voice abruptly joined in. “There you are!” A large Ox Guai with a broken horn appeared, throwing his arm over the young man. You noted a tinge of nervousness as he glanced at the Destined One whose hand stayed still next to his ear. The Ox Guai took several steps back, forcing the young man to follow. The Guai was almost bending the young man over by the sheer size of his arm. 

“Your mother’s been lookin’ all over for you. Quickly now, back to our stall, before she rings both our ears.”

“But I was just-” 

“Leaving,” The Yaoguai's voice dropped several decibels, definitively deflating any arguments from the young man. The Yaoguai gave an apologetic nod towards you and your companion who finally dropped his arm. You let out a breath of relief. 

“I’m sorry about that.” said the young Guai, “This one is still green in the many ways of this world. We’ll be going now.” The Ox Guai forcibly turned the young man around and all but carried him away. As they left you heard the Ox say under his breath, “Of all creatures you chose one already spoken for.” 

The Destined One watched them go as the person in front of you pretended they weren’t eavesdropping took their food and left. You were next in line. You pulled the Destined One towards the stall, breaking his stare down at the young man. 

“I think it’s hard for a regular human to tell but,” you slipped your hand into his, “This usually gets the message across.” You felt bashful staring up at him as your cheeks flushed with color. His hand carefully intertwined with yours as you felt his anger subdued. It was a little funny to see him switch from a look that had you believe he was ready to tear someone apart to a soft, docile gaze all while a Tanghulu hung from his mouth. You turned to the little old lady manning the Tangyuan stall. 

“I’m sorry, my dear, we just sold our last one,” she said. 

You were crestfallen but could only thank the little old lady and step away from the stall. The Destined One seemed worried at your disappointment. In response you took the Tanghulu from him and inspected the few pieces of sugar coated fruit. 

“Did you eat yours already?” You ask. He looked away to avoid your question. You laughed, “Couldn’t wait, hm? Seems you got a bit of a sweet tooth.” You bit into the dessert and hummed. The sugar coating snapped and crunched as the fresh fruit burst on your tongue. 

“Oh, this is really good,” you said, reaching up to feed him some as well. He bit into the fruit eagerly. “Seems it has every fruit but peaches. Your home has plenty of those right? I’ve always wanted to try a peach from Mount Huaguo.” 

With the way his eyes lit up at you mentioning the peaches from his home, you could only imagine what it would taste like in person. A cool wind blew through your hair, gently jostling some lanterns hanging from the trees. You stepped closer to the Destined One to avoid two children dashing by, your hand tightening in his just slightly. He was warm, you felt you could easily close your eyes and let yourself sink into him. Instead, you glanced up at him with a smirk. 

“Were you really going hit that guy with your staff?” 

The Destined One glanced down at you. You saw the smallest hint of a smile as his eyes lifted up. You translated that to be, “What do you think?” You playfully bumped your shoulder with his.

“I think you need to use your words next time.” 

You both walked around the lake again after finishing up your treat until you were both halted by a large group of people standing at the bridge. More were joining the throng as children were placed on shoulders for a better view. You spotted a Tiger Guai holding an elderly woman on his shoulders. She was smiling widely, staring past the crowd of people. 

“What are they gathered around for?” you asked. Then in the sky you saw a golden light gently floating towards the moon. It was a floating paper lantern. You heard many excited voices rush forward. The Destined One pulls you close to his chest as people surged toward the bridge. Soon, people and Yaoguai covered the bridge to watch the lanterns make their journey towards the heavens. The Destined One guided you back till you were at the very edge of the crowd. The many various heads and shoulder riders obscured most of your view. 

You looked at all the bodies smushed together, “Good thing they float. We’ll get to see the lanterns eventually…” You felt a gentle tap on your shoulder. Turning, you looked at the Destined One whose hand patted the trunk of a large tree. He wore a cheeky smirk with excitement brightening up his eyes. You returned the look, wordlessly latching on his back as he bent down.

You held on tightly as he scaled the tree, going higher and higher till he found a branch thick enough to hold both of your weight. This branch was overhanging the lake, you found some comfort in knowing it won’t be solid ground you land on if you were to slip. The Destined One settled you down on the branch and sat beside you, arms out and ready to steady you. Right, as if he'd ever let you slip. You found your balance and glanced up. 

The view was breathtaking. The floating lanterns lit up the sky in a trail of flickering gold mirrored by the still lake. From the base of the temple the lanterns spread towards the gazebo, the stalls, and the bridge  as they gently ascended to the sky to join the twinkling stars. You watched as the crowd of people holding one another watched the lanterns. The many stalls and their owners paused in their hard work to bask in this moment. The whole festival stilled to witness this one moment. 

“It’s beautiful…” you whispered. Your hand found his again. You felt a sense of melancholy when you felt his thumb brush your knuckles. 

“I’m glad I got to experience this with you,” you said softly as the last of the lanterns were released, “It’s been…unforgettable.” You watched the fluttering lanterns and found yourself thinking of the bridge of Magpies connecting heaven and earth from the puppet show. You wondered how fleeting yet filling those brief moments the two lovers had together before the bridge no longer connected them. You wondered if they felt more joy than sorrow. You felt a murmur in your heart. You made yourself take a breath. 

“Do you think we can do this again?” You asked. Even if it were a lie; even if this promise is broken, you still wanted to hear his answer. Turning to your side, you found the Young Sage staring at you. You weren’t sure for how long. Looking into your eyes, he took your hand and brought it up to his lips. “Of course,” you all but hear him say. A deep pain throbbed in your heart. The Young Sage leaned forward to cup your cheek. You closed your eyes. 

“There you two are!” A too familiar voice called out from below. Your eyes flew open. You looked down just as Bajie turned into his wind form to join you in the tree. The branch shook just a little but held firm as he sat down comfortably, back resting against the trunk. You had a smart remark ready for him until he shoved a warm bowl into your hands. It was Tangyuan. 

“You can have that,” he said, patting his stomach, “My belly’s full enough to burst if I took another bite.” Liar, you said inwardly as you felt yourself crack a smile. You thanked him gratefully as he waved you off. You took a spoonful, gently blowing on the dessert. You bit into the soft rice ball and sipped at the hot broth. It warmed you right up from your stomach to your soul. Just as it came, you felt that dull pain subside. As you offered a spoonful to the Destined One, Bajie spoke up. 

“I was right about the human boy, wasn’t I?” 

You quickly handed the Young Sage the bowl and turned to the gloating pig, “Bajie, don’t you find it fortuitous that we’re above a lake?”

[sysig]

Experimentation (Patreon)

[sewerratzz]

Riptide Triton Headcanon

Tritons have cultural adornments called darrings. They mostly come in the form of tailets as that was what the tradition started as, but can also be hair, coral, or wrist/arm accessories [whether the tail is too covered or the triton just wants them elsewhere, it’s up to the individual].

Children often have ones made with aquamarine or sea glass as it’s more common and easier for them to work with. Their darrings always start as tailets. Children’s tailets are almost always a friendship tailet or ones made with their parent/guardian. They also occasionally are given a birth gift, though it’s not common since darrings are usually made by the triton it’s for. As they get older they get more proficient with more gems, stones and materials, and learn more braiding methods for the bands. Their tailets also become more based around important events and people in their lives, rather than what’s basically casual friendship bracelets.

They use silverstone [material found in the undersea that triton’s claws are very good for shaping with] to carve charms for their darrings. The bands are pretty much just made with either thread, twine, or cords, but the styles and colours differ and they’re more often than not included in the meaning of the darrings.

Finn Tidestrider

Finn has a lot. because he’s old.

He made one with gems, stone and/or charms for each crewmember of the Black Rose on it. Arlin’s stone is a dalmation jasper, and Drey’s gem is a fire opal. The centrepiece charm is a carved rose with the stem mixed into an anchor. The band is two pieces of black cord twisted together.

He has one with only carved silverstone on it, each charm made to look like one of his most signifiant creature discoveries. The biggest/centre charm is carved to look like the elusive crawfish. The band is braided white, blue, and teal thread.

He has one with two charms and two gems for Gillion and Edyn, the charms hanging together with the gems on either side. Gillion’s charm is carved into what almost looks like a shark tooth, and Edyn’s is abstract, in the shape of her birthmark. The band is pink and blue with no pattern except for a small heart right where the charms are attached.

Definitely has one for the triton he ended Dark Puckered Hole with. The band is black twine, and it has two pearls on each side of a charm carved with the cleric’s symbol, an open seashell in the middle of it.

Finn’s darrings are spread around his body; several on his tail, a few around his wrists, and Gil & Edyn’s is around his neck, resting close to his heart. They cover a wide range of simple to more complex, and a lot of his incorporate minerals from the oversea as well, which no other triton has done.

Edyn Tidestrider

Edyn only has a few. She had more when she was younger [friendship tailets] but grew out of both them and the friendships.

She of course has one for Gillion and she’s added to it throughout the years. Its gems are amazonite, aquamarine, larimar, and pearls in a paralelling pattern, the pearls on either side of the darring’s charms. For Gillion’s, she carved charms of his egg, his sword, and what is the primordial symbol for “million”. Its band is made of dark and light blue thread braided with an alternating diamond and heart pattern. This band is the newest one of the few she’s made while improving her skill with braiding, and all the previous ones are still kept with her belongings, hidden away with the few special trinkets and such she brought from home with her.

She has one of sea glass, all pink, made for Pretzel. The band is a redish-pink and blue, braided with a heart pattern.

Since travelling to Allport, she’s turned Gil’s and Pretzel’s into hair darrings, now braided in close to the root and dangling from her hair, but any others have either stayed around her wrist or been put with the rest of her things as Gil’s and Pretzel’s are her most important ones.

Edyn’s darrings are fuller, with the band barely showing despite the effort she puts into braiding patterns.

Gillion Tidestrider

Gillion only had one for most of his life, but now has three.

As soon as he was brought to the palace and was given his armour, sword, and oath, he was bestowed a darring from the elders made with rounded black and white stone and a carved charm of the full moon with waves in front of it in the centre. It’s been wrapped around his coral since he received it, and the moon hangs on the front of his middle coral piece. The band is just plain brown cord.

When he was older, he made one with Edyn, and it was his first tailet. It has two cat’s eye stones, pink and purple, and a star charm between them. The band is braided with turquoise and gold thread, and it has some streaks of white throughout it, loose threads Gillion pulled from Edyn’s dress as they were making it.

He made his third for Jay and Chip after the crew watched the jellyfish migration. It has two roughly carved feather charms dangling next to two stones. One is an ocean jasper, primarily brown with red spots and stripes in it, and the other is a lime green peridot with hints of yellow in it. The band is simply braided with light blue thread, and has red, dark blue, and cream coloured threads woven throughout, loose threads Gillion pulled from Chip & Jay’s clothes.

Gillion’s, aside from his moon darring, are both fairly simple opposed to Edyn & Finn’s, as he didn’t grow up making them. The bands he made look a little scrappy from the threads he added, since he wanted more colour and to make them more special but there wasn’t enough for full braiding. It’s basically his form of patterning since he doesn’t have the skill for actual patterns.