#though each one is supremely fucked up in different ways. and i love it

[starsandthorn]

my god i am ADORING the fontaine world quests so much they are so good

[csainz5]

hello! i saw your requests were open and wanted to pop in! i have a bit of a weird? idk request, where it’s like max verstappen x reader first where it ends with angst, and then she ends w carlos endgame?? maybe a whole lotta lover boy feels from carlos and ‘oh i fucked up something great’ feels from max, like essentially carlos that has been silently lining throughout readers relationship w max too?? i’m so sorry if this confused you! i loved ur previous carlos sainz fic!! 🤍🤍

BLOOD FLOWS RED

genre: fluff; light smut

pairing: bestfriend!max x reader; carlos x reader

summary: max constantly fucking up comes in no better time for carlos.

word count: 3.7k (my longest fic so far 💀)

warnings: angst, slight loverboy feels from max if you squint. voyeur max? not really but kinda ig and no beta we die like the ferrari fans we are 🫡 google translate ass spanish, forgive me 😞🫶

author notes: OMG ANON YOU ARE A GENIUS!!! I LOVED THIS REQUEST AND I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING IT. but small change tho, max x reader isn’t rlly like a proper relationship. anyways, hope u guys enjoy 😘😘😘

you were both 10 when you first met. your parents had been friends for a while by then, and they decided that they would place you and max in the same school. the two of you instantly kicked it off. it was like you guys were meant to be friends. you always shared the same opinions, the same preferences and all.

school with max was fun. the best, infact. the both of you hit it off well since the first time you met and had been inseperable (and insufferable) since. it was practically known to everyone that if max were to take a seat, the one beside it instantly belonged to you. you two had different friend circles, yes. But you were definitely each others best friend regardless.

highschool. highschool was a turning point in your friendship. although it was still as magical as it was, max’s attention at that time drifted between girls and racing. the former, burnt your heart with jealousy. everytime he ditched plans with you for his new girlfriend, you secretly prayed to god they would break up so you could have him all to yourself. The latter however, you didnt mind so much. you were always a fan of racing, and it only bought you two closer. you still remember go karting with max like it was yesterday. even if he was always the one to win, you weren’t too far behind, always coming it right after him. your deepest secrets, your highs and lows, your intrests, and everything about you was known to max, and max only. everyone would see you with him all the time, so no guys would ever approach you in school. Its not like you really minded it though, because max’s girlfriends only ever lasted two weeks at the most, and you guys would find your way back to each other.

You found solace in the unwavering friendship you shared with Max . Growing up together, navigating the twists and turns of life side by side, your bond evolved into something deeper over the years. You were always hopelessly in love with Max, but you concealed your feelings, afraid of risking the precious friendship you had cherished oh so much. Everyone but max could see it. I mean how couldnt they? you were always like a lost puppy around the paddock, finding your way to max. Much like your races, you would always find your way right behind him. it was clear in the way you looked at him, with stars in your eyes. How your voice went slightly higher when you were around him. How you relax when you’re with him. How you’re the loudest person during a race, always screaming his name as he raced by. Everyone felt sorry for you, really. Because in return to all of your affections was nothing but a cold and stoic response. Don’t get me wrong, Max definitely loved spending time with you, probably moreso than anyone else, but it was nothing in comparison to your admiration for him.

Afterall, in the world of Formula 1, where speed and competition reigned supreme, there was so space for screw ups. you needed to work hard for what you want and you needed to be cunning. and for max, nothing was as important as winning this year’s championship and more to come, so you’ve become used to his behaviour. he was quick, ruthless and on the top, and he wasn’t about to let anything get in the way of his success. so even though it stung when you could see how little you mattered to him over the sport, you convinced yourself it was okay. Because this was max’s dream since he was little, and whats a wish to date a boy over a pursuit for the championship but a speck of dust.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, you watched Max prepare for yet another exhilarating race. Your heart raced in sync with the roaring engines, anticipation filling the air. Deep down, you yearned for Max to realize the depths of your affection, but maybe it was too much to ask for, you think. He was always too caught up in his relentless pursuit of victory. Everyone saw it, even the rugged and striking driver of ferrari, with the number 55 adorned on his red suit.

Max insisted you leave him alone for a moment, so he could gather his thoughts before the race. “Are you sure, max?” “please, just go” reluctantly, you agreed and went into the paddock club. you settle into the couch and wallow to yourself. you just wanted to be there with him so you could calm his nerves, why was he acting unlike himself? you gather that recently this is all thats been happening. you always go behind him, wanting to be with him at all times, hoping to be the centre of his attention, but he stands like a stonewall. you’ve grown tired of it really. But come on, you knew you would find your way back to him again. You were infact in love with him since you knew what love was, weren’t you?

You get startled when a hand waves in front of your face “helloo?” “oh my god im so sorry” “no worries” he shoots you a cheeky smile. “did you need anything carlos?” “nothing, i just wanted to ask if i could sit by you” “yeah ofcourse, you didnt need to ask” honestly, this was the most you’ve ever spoken with carlos, so you were confused by his sudden intrest in you. but really, it wasn’t sudden at all. too absorbed into the grumpy redbull driver, you never noticed a tall figure clad in red lurk behind you two. He had seen it all. His eyes burned with rage everytime he saw you with max. What did he ever do to deserve you?

“Carlos? mate where the hell were you? you need to come to the garage, hurry up” charles says, appearing out of thin air “i’ll see you later, okay?” “Bye sainz” Looking back at you, carlos runs away behind the monagasque. you smile to yourself at the sudden attention from carlos. Atleast he distracted you, right?

yeah right. your nerves were all over the place the second the red lights blinked, and the race began. max was so off his game today, whats wrong with him? he was so far behind this race that even the alfa romeo cars had been ahead of him. it was his first race lately where he was behind a ferrari for once. you felt your heart thump as you wince, you know how much shit redbull & max’s father give him on the offchance that he isnt the best in the game. he didn’t deserve it, you think. he doesn’t deserve the shit they put him through. since this was the start of the season, everyone was very anticipated to see the result, to see who is going to be this years leading drivers.

you catch your eyes drifting towards one specific car though, and its not the redbull one you’ve always got your eyes on. the person leading the first race of the season happens to be the man that youve last talked to. carlos. you hold your breath, and blink for just a moment and there you see it, carlos gets the pole position. you dont know whether to be happy or not, a feeling you’re unfamiliar with makes your gut twinge. were you happy with the results? as much as you’d like to convince yourself otherwise, it was true. for some reason carlos winning made you feel proud, but in a split second you turn your eyes back to the circuit. max had gotten p7.

it was the night of that day that max had seen you under a different light. your look for the party had caught the eyes of everyone there, and unfortunately for max, even the eyes of a certain latino were set on you. Carlos was the first person you noticed the moment you stepped into the club. the ferrari pair had rented out the entire club for that night, celebrating their p1 & p2 standings. you instinctively go towards Carlos, talking him up about his big win. “Sainz, that overtake on lap 35? Blew my mind.” “you must’ve been attentive on me to catch that” he jokes, his chest rumbling with laughter. “oh come on everyone’s talking about it” “maybe. but so are you, and thats not very common” “I give credit where credit is due, what can i say?” you giggle, taking a flute of champagne. “hey, how come you aren’t with max? i ask only because this is the first time you’ve come outside that circle” he asks, slightly avoiding eye contact with you. “well, i guess you could say i just found someone more worthy of my time” “Oh..?” clearly amused with your answer, carlos decided that he’s not going to let you leave his side. He had a taste of it, and he knew he couldn’t let go just yet.

2 drinks become 4, and 4 drinks become 8 when you decide that you are done being the quiet girl behind max. you think that it’s time that you let go, live the moment for yourself, and yourself only. okay, and maybe Carlos too. conversations with him were just so light and breezy, you didnt have to hold yourself back hoping you’d be molded into the kind of girl he wants. it was obvious that he was interested in you as is. “Carlos” “yes, cariño?” “How come ive never spoken to you before?” “You know, actually you have” he wasn’t wrong, but that was just small talk at events. This? This was different. you knew it. He knew it. “No, no i mean like.. this” you say, speech slurred, hand reaching to brush his hair. “You’re driving me crazy, mi vida” he chokes out, eyes closed and a sigh escaping his lips. “Carlos..” you feel like you cant breath as you say, “Help me forget him” by this point of your conversation you had realised that he did, infact notice things about you. Maybe even in a way no one else did. you raise your eyes to meet his and you lose yourself in their charm. his brown eyes with specks of gold drew you in more than you’d like to admit. “Hermosa, when you have me,” he raises your chin up “You will be sober when you have me, and you wont be forgetting it any time soon”wind gets caught up in your throat at his bold statement.

“Come on, let loose carlos join me!!” by this point it was the alcohol talking, not you. “okay okay how about we get you home now?” “oh shut up im just getting started” “no you’re not, come with me” carlos says as he throws your arm around his shoulder to support you. “fuck, is she okay man? i can take her to her house just leave her with me” max say’s, finally emerging after eyeing you both all night. “don’t hold your breath mate, she’s going home with me”

you wake up the next morning with the worst headache, which only gets worse when you realise you can’t recognise the room you’re in and the clothes you’re wearing aren’t yours. you shoot your head up as you hear the door open. Carlos? wait a second. did you and he..? “Carlos, did we—“ “Did you want us to?” “Oh my god. OH MY GOD??” “Calm down im just messing with you, no we didn’t do anything. i just had to change your clothes because you puked all over them” this was so embarrassing you couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes.

“im so sorry, i really am. i didnt think i would let go that much yesterday.” “Don’t worry, i had fun. plus its nice seeing you not be so timid” your cheeks flush at his compliment. Fuck. i abandoned max yesterday, you thought, booking a cab to his house as you pack your stuff. “Youre not seriously booking a cab right now, are you?” “Not all of us come from Generational wealth, Carlos” you say, hoping you get connected to a driver as soon as possible. “No, no. you’re coming with me.” he says, taking his car keys and showing you the way to the garage. The moment you arrive at max’s house, you see an unfamiliar pair of heels by his shoes.

you knock on the door “Max?” No answer.“Max??” no answer yet again. you use your keys to open the door. “I didn’t expect you to come at this time” he says, his hand over a girl who you barely recognise’s shoulder. “Who’s this, max?” “It doesn’t matter, she was just about to leave” the woman looks confused but exits, mumbling something to max as she leaves. “Whos that, your conquest of the week?” you ask the second you hear the door click. “Why do you care? you must’ve had fun whoring out with the ferrari boys yesterday anyways.” He didnt mean for it to sound as harsh as it did, but what was done was done. Seriously? “Fuck you max. i’ve always been with you every second of every day and you don’t appreciate me for a moment. you constantly ditch me for these random fucking girls who you know are just with you because you’re in redbull. And i let myself go for one night. One fucking night and you’re on my back calling me a whore? you know what? i am tired. i am done with your bullshit. Maybe ferrari is better after all, huh?”

“You don’t understand my point” “what point max? what fucking point? Are you blind or do you just convince yourself to ignore the fact that ive been in love with you since we started talking? Do you know how much it hurt me to walk in your shadow all these years hoping you would notice that i was there for you? to notice that i was the one for you?” “You love me?” he sounds heartbroken saying it, but you’re on an adrenaline rush and don’t take note of it. you could feel your feelings for him fading more and more as you spoke your feelings out to max. “No. not anymore.” “Fuck. i never- i never thought, fuck.” “guess you just realised it too late mate” a voice speaks up behind you. “Lets go back, i cant stand to see his face.” you spit, with venom lacing your words as they sunk into max’s heart like a dagger.

After the incident with max, You realised that the night with the ferrari driver would be the start of something much, much bigger than you had expected. somewhere in between the races the 33 on your shirts slowly turned into 55. You didnt have to tell max you’ve moved on, it was clear as day. Carlos had gifted you a bracelet, a custom cartier one with the initials c.s adorned by a small pendant of a chili. everyone on the paddock could see that max was history to you. By this point it was also famously known that you had become Carlos’s girl. you didn’t mind the chatter though, you were so happy with carlos, he made you feel things that no one had been able to make you feel. he was gentle, and understanding. But at the same time, he knew exactly how to treat you, and the fact that you liked to be treated a little rough, once in a while, and he played it like a charm.

Your situationship with him was quick to blossom into a relationship, the best one you’ve ever been in. Days with Carlos were magical. he was crazy for you, as were you for him. you were so used to people stepping all over you that carlos treating you the way you deserved to be treated caught you off gaurd at times, but you grew attached to that quality of him. he made sure that he was the best man for you, and that you were treated exactly how you deserved to be. you noticed that you didnt even ask him for anything, he miraculously knew exactly what you wanted, and he delivered seamlessly. You had drifted significantly from max, but you didn’t mind anymore. Carlos was the only one for you and there were no doubts about it.

This particular morning was that of the emilia- romagnia grand prix, with you by the ferrari garage with carlos. everyone there had become used to you at this point, charles and some of the engineers becoming some of your best mates. Right now you were in carlos’s room, sitting on the bed as you watched him get ready. it was a home race for the ferrari boys. “What?” carlos talks over the phone, clearly upset with whatever he’s heard. you sit up straighter at his sudden change in demeanour. “Fuck. guess there’s nothing we can do huh?” he says, moments before he hangs up. “It’s canceled. the race is canceled because of a flood.” “What? Im so sorry to hear that Carlos, i know how much this race means to you.” you say, walking up to him and fixing up his shirt.

“Is there anything i can do to make you feel better?” memories of that night rush back into your head. you take in a sharp breath remember what carlos told you that day. “I’m sober now” “You remember that?” he looks into your eyes, his own shifting into a darker look. “I couldn’t for a moment forget it” you pull his collar in towards yourself “you little minx, me estás matando” “Lets see if you’re a man of your word, sainz” you dare to say. “you’re gonna wish you never challenged me, hermosa.”

His lips crash against yours as he pulls you up to jump onto him, legs wrapped around him as you take him in, in all his glory. your brain becomes foggy, and a thousand diffrent scenarios run around your head and at once, the all stop, Leaving your head a blank space. you run your hands through his hair, breathless. he walks you both over to the bed, his lips never leaving yours as unsaid words get conveyed to you. i want you. he gently places you on the bed, getting onto his knees.

You pull away from him for a moment, just a moment. you needed to get comfortable into the bed, and even the split second away from him makes you grow impatient. you look down to see him frantically trying to pull your shorts off you. Frustrated, you pull him by his neck back to you, kissing him with a rush you’ve never experienced before. you close your eyes, his wandering hands feeling making you feel sensitive all over. even a harmless rub against your thigh ticks you off. the whimper youve been suppressing comes out into the kiss, making Carlos feel as though he was losing his mind. he couldn’t take it anymore. he wanted you, he wanted you so badly he felt like a teenager about to cum in his pants.

All you wanted was to scream his name, loud enough for the entire hotel to hear, and he, wanted to listen to them on repeat like they were the best musical piece ever created. he was drunk on lust. “Can i?” you nod with all your might, you couldn’t handle it anymore. “Use your words, mi amor” “Yes, yes. please i want it so bad carlos, please.” “God, you sound so angelic begging for me right now.” Just as he was about to take off his top, the two of you hear a series of knocks on your door.

“Are you in here? its max” “Why is he here?” just as you were about to cuss him out, carlos signals you that hes got it covered. He picks you up, making you put your legs over his torso again. “Carlos? what are you-“ he shushes you, a finger falling over your swollen lips. just as you reach the room door, he clashes his lip’s against yours again. he slowly takes off the lock on the door, leaving max to think he can come in.

max is greeted by the two of you feverishly making out as he opens the door. you and carlos pay him no mind though, as if you couldn’t even see him. “Fuck you guys” He shouts as he bangs the door on his way out.

[thelastharbinger]

Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)

Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.

"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."

Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!

O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.

Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.

Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.

Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.

The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.

The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.

Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.

"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"

Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.

"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.

"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"

The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???

"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."

"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.

"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).

Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.

Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!

Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.

"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.

Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.

"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.

The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.

The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.

Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.

"!Cállate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!

A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.

Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.

Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.

Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.

Miguel's nonono no puedo más no puedo más. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.

"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.

"Snitch!"

Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!

Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.

Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.

[melodygatesauthor]

The Best Barista in the First Order

Kylo Ren X f!Reader

Part 8 of 28 in the February Fluff and Fuck 2023 Challenge

Day 8 Prompt - Coffee Shop AU (not an AU, takes place in SW universe)

Summary: The Supreme Leader is very particular about many things, and his morning coffee is no exception. Even more, he is very particular about the barista who brings him his coffee every morning, and isn't happy when he hears she is transferred to a different position on his ship.

Tags/Warnings: SFW, soft!Kylo, no smut, fluff, Kylo is protective, Kylo Ren in love, cute, sweet, coffee shop is more like a kitchen on the Finalizer and Reader works in it making coffee in the morning.

Word Count: 2.7k

You were standing in front of the doors to the command center. No matter how many times you’d brought the breakfast orders to the First Order elites, including Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, your nerves never ceased to force your body to tremble.

You walked in through the double doors when they opened, rolling your cart containing drink orders along with various pastries and muffins. You moved slowly, careful not to spill anything, and parked your cart to the side. You picked up the tray containing mugs filled with specific and preferred morning beverages. General Enrich Pryde was there, awaiting his tea. You brought it over and handed it to him. Most of the time they all pretended that you didn’t exist, and that was the way you liked it. You were a lowly kitchen worker, only there to deliver their food and drink, and then be on your way.

You walked over to your cart once again, grabbing the Supreme Leader’s cup. You’d already made a mistake, not bringing his order to him first, but that didn’t seem to be a problem. At least, no one said anything. As long as you didn’t bring attention to yourself, you would remain invisible.

You wouldn’t be invisible today though, today you were going to make a scene. Today you were going to be noticed, and grab the attention of everyone in the room. There was no telling what you tripped over. It wasn’t a shoelace, your shoe didn’t even have laces. It wasn’t your pant leg, and the floor was flat as could be. It was simply the wonderful grace of the Maker, forcing you to fall forward, flinging the Supreme Leader’s coffee hurdling at the floor in front of his feet.

The one thing you could be grateful for, was that it didn’t land anywhere on him. If it had burned him, you knew he would’ve removed your head where you lay on the floor. Panic ran through you. The only thing you could think to do was rush over on all fours and beg for forgiveness. You scurried, slamming your palms into the ground and nearly bruising your knees with how quickly you moved to him.

“Supreme Leader, sir, I am so sorry.” You said, keeping your eyes on the floor at the coffee you’d spilled there. “It was an accident I-”

“Look at me.” He demanded, surprising you.

You raised your head, meeting your gaze to the void of the mask where you knew his eyes were. He tilted his head to the side slightly. His shoulders rose and fell with each breath. He was much bigger from the floor than he seemed normally. You felt your breathing stop, and the entire room seemed to go silent. You were sure they were all waiting for you to lose your head right there in the command center.

“What is your name?” He asked.

“...” You told him.

He stood up, increasing his height over you tenfold. He held out a hand and Forced you to your feet. You clasped your fingers together nervously when he released you. You let out a breath you’d been holding in for a while. A stray tear found its way down your cheek and you felt frustrated by it. You weren’t brave in the slightest, and you wished you could be.

“Someone get the cleaners in here. You…” He pointed at you, “bring me another cup.”

You nodded, grateful to be walking away with your life, “yes, Supreme Leader.”

You didn’t waste any time rushing out of the room to comply with his demand. A very small part of you considered leaving the First Order, afraid that maybe Kylo Ren would reconsider letting you live and behead you when he next saw you, but you knew that would be a mistake in itself. The entire trip down in the elevator was spent focusing on normalizing your breathing. You’d never been that close to death before.

It wasn’t the first slip up you’d made, but it was the first time you’d done it right in front of Kylo Ren, and so noticeably. After the long trip back to the kitchen, your boss was busy working on prepping lunch already.

Being a kitchen worker on board the Finalizer was difficult. You were busy from the moment you woke, to the moment you turned in for bed, and there was little time for leisure. Everything was on a strict schedule. Coffees went up in the morning, along with a cart with food. Then you prepped for lunch, and later you would bring the lunch orders and clean up the breakfast. Spilling the coffee really hindered the schedule, and you hoped your boss wouldn’t be too angry to see you making the Supreme Leader’s order once again.

Your hope fell flat as he approached you, stern-faced, “what are you doing?”

“Um, I spilled the Supreme Leader’s coffee.” You explained, starting to brew a new cup.

“You what?” He asked harshly.

You felt your cheeks heat from embarrassment.

“It was an accident.” You explained through your shaking voice.

“Enough.” He said, pulling the bag of coffee beans from your hands. “You’re done.”

“Excuse me?” You asked, feeling yourself becoming emotional. “I can’t be done, this is my job!” You shouldn’t have been raising your voice, but you couldn’t help yourself.

“This is not your first time slipping up like that, and this time you spilled the Supreme Leader’s coffee?” He scoffed, “you’re lucky to still be alive! No, we can’t have that. Maybe you can polish helmets or iron clothes.” He waved you off, “best of luck.”

Your mouth was stuck agape while you looked at him. You couldn’t believe that you were losing the position you’d had over the last three years on the Finalizer, all for spilling a single coffee. What was worse, was that it wasn’t even up for debate. You couldn’t try and negotiate, or say anything that would change his mind, you were just done.

“Fine.” You pulled your apron over your head, threw it on the floor and walked out.

Crying was pointless, it wasn’t going to get you your job back, but you did it anyway. You knew you could find something else to do. Your friend was head of one of the cleaning departments and she would, no doubt, be able to find you a job there, they were always looking for new people. It didn’t change the fact that you would rather work in the kitchen though.

There was something about waking up every morning, brewing coffee to the exact specifications of each person, and then having the honor of delivering their drinks. Even if they didn’t always show their appreciation, you knew even the most stern elites, like General Pryde, felt a little bit better when he had a nice, warm cup of tea in his hands, and it was all thanks to you.

You waited outside of your friend’s room for her shift to be over and for her to come back and see you. She was surprised to find you standing there, but when she saw your clearly distraught face, she wasted no time hugging you tightly.

“Hey Kass.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“What happened?” She asked, furrowing her brow.

You shrugged, “spilled a little coffee next to Kylo Ren and my boss wasn’t a fan I guess. I mean, it’s not like I did it on purpose.” You sighed. “It just sucks, I liked working in the kitchen.”

“Well, you can always come work for me, you know that.” She patted your back.

“Yeah, I mean, if I don’t find something to do they’ll deem me worthless, which…” Your eyes went wide, “I don’t want to know what happens to those people.”

The people deemed worthless in the First Order often disappeared. If you stopped working, then you couldn’t contribute to the greater good, and therefore you needed to be disposed of. You couldn’t let that happen.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it, I’ll set you up tomorrow.” She hugged you again. “Why don’t you get some rest, meet at the utility room 0101-B, first thing and I’ll get you started.”

“Alright, thanks Kass.” You said, leaving her and heading to your own room.

Sleep didn’t come easily. You kept thinking about how mad the Supreme Leader must’ve been. You were glad he always wore a mask, afraid to think about what his face must’ve looked like when you spilled the coffee. One thing about the interaction with him stood out to you though…he’d asked you for your name. The more you considered it, the more you realized how strange it was that he would even ask you that. He had never asked you before, and he didn’t seem to care about most of the lowly employees of the Finalizer.

Those thoughts, and the nerves surrounding what your new job would be like in the morning, filled your mind and made it hard to finally doze off.

When you woke up, you felt as uneasy as you had when you’d gone to bed the night before. Already you were thinking about how lucky you were to escape death the day before, and how little you knew about being a cleaner.

After washing yourself and getting dressed, you finally left your room. When you made it to utility room 0101-B, Kass was already there, smiling when you walked through the door.

“Hey girlfriend, ready for your first day?” She asked, all too bubbly for your taste.

Kass had always been such a peppy type of person, and while you tried to be that way, it didn’t come easy to you. You often had to try hard to put on an excited face around others. Social situations weren’t your strong suit.

“Yeah, ready as I’ll ever be.” You sighed.

“So, you’re not going to like this, but apparently the Supreme Leader is in a…well he’s in a mood, and he broke something in the command center and you gotta go clean it up.” She motioned to the cart by the door. “That’s your cart.”

“What? Shouldn’t someone who’s been doing this longer be the one cleaning up after him?” You asked, feeling suddenly even more anxious than before.

You really might die now. You were certain that he never would want to see you again, not after you spilled his coffee the day prior.

“Part of being new is getting to do the jobs that no one else wants to do, I’m sorry.” She shrugged.

“No one’s going to show me what to do? No training?” You asked, trudging over to your cart.

“For cleaning? I know for a fact they teach you how to clean in the kitchens. Go on, you’ll be fine!” She insisted, ushering you out the door. “You get a one hour break at noon, and then you’re finished at five.”

You groaned and thanked her again for at least giving you a job. There was a chance you wouldn’t even run into the Supreme Leader. He was a busy man and couldn’t possibly spend his entire day in the command center. Surely he might be doing something else at that time. Afterall, you’d brought him his coffee on several occasions and in several different rooms. One time you even were summoned to his bedroom to put some food and drink by his bedside.

You wouldn’t be so lucky today though, he was there, and his back was to you while he spoke to the crew, voice booming through the room. He didn’t even turn while you started cleaning up the broken bits of electrical equipment scattered on the floor. You imagined that cleaning up after Kylo Ren’s tantrums must get exhausting to do day in and day out. The person who was new before you must’ve been relieved when they heard they were getting a break today.

“Sir, we will be approaching Jakku soon.” One of the pilots said at the control panel.

“Good. Ready my-”

You were so focused on cleaning you didn’t realize that the room had gone silent right away. Eventually you looked up, meeting the void of the black mask that had the Supreme Leader behind it. You gulped, feeling uneasy and wondering if he was going to kill you this time. You wondered if he had regretted not doing it yesterday while you were kneeling at his feet.

“You.” He pointed at you.

There were peering eyes all through the room, and they were all on you. Not a single breath was made from anyone. You wondered if someone would be thrusting your dead body into space in a few short moments.

“M-me, sir?” You said, damning your bottom lip for quaking.

“If the rest of you have no further work to do then I can see to it that replacements are found.” He looked around the room and immediately the prying eyes went back to their jobs.

One heavy stomp at a time, he stalked over to you. Not knowing what else to do, you once again found yourself kneeling at his feet. You would’ve kissed his boot if he had commanded you to. You were so afraid of what he was going to do next. You heard the signature hiss of his mask coming undone, and you were more confused than ever. Of all the things you’d expected him to do, that was next to last on the list.

“Look at me.” He demanded softly.

Slowly, you trailed your eyes up from his boot, over his leather pants, across his coat and finally met with his brilliant eyes. Your breath hitched in your throat. You felt your palms beginning to sweat and the heat was boiling in your cheeks.

“Pretty.” He said, an undeniable smirk played at his lips, meanwhile you were dumbfounded and completely confused.

“I-I’m sorry?” You felt like you were suffocating.

“Where were you yesterday?” He asked, moving on from his previous statement. “I am positive I asked for you specifically to bring me a new cup.”

“I, um, I was told I couldn’t work in the kitchen after I spilled your coffee Supreme Leader, sir.” You gulped, looking back down at the floor.

“Keep your eyes on me.” He demanded once again.

You did as you were told, still not sure why he was playing with you that way. If he was going to kill you, you wished he would just do it already.

“I’m not going to kill you.” You sometimes forgot that he could see into people’s minds. “Your prior boss on the other hand…will be taken care of immediately.”

You knew what that meant. There was no stopping him, so you didn’t even try, but you wondered what you’d done to receive that type of treatment. You wondered why Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the galaxy, was interested in murdering your boss for dismissing you from your post.

“You are clumsy, foolish, and downright unfit to work even in a kitchen.” He said insultingly.

If he wasn’t your Supreme Leader, and your life wasn’t at risk in that very moment, you would’ve slapped him for saying such a thing. It was unbelievably rude, and hurtful.

“You make the best cup of coffee I’ve ever tasted, despite your inability to serve it to me properly.” His fingers moved, beckoning you to stand, and so you did.

He was so tall, so frightening to stand next to.

“Thank you, sir.” You said finally, remembering that you should speak when spoken to.

“Since you’re so unfit to work in the kitchen, I think it’s best I am the one to find the position that would suit you best.” He put a gloved finger under your chin and tipped your face up to meet his eyes once again. “Don’t you?”

AO3 LINK

Tag List: (please let me know if you would like to be added or removed): @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction, @my-secret-shame, @thatmomwitchfriend, @alexxavicry

[valenteal]

Ok Imma be blunt about this because I need to vent. I am SICK of the majority of the bsd fandom’s views on Dazai. And Mori and Akutagawa but mostly Dazai.

Look. Dazai feels no remorse. He doesn’t hate who he was in the port mafia. He became a ‘good person’ for selfish reasons. Because being on the side that fights for good, being around people who are actually kind and selfless and caring is more pleasant. He switched sides, but he didn’t change himself. He fights for other people but he uses all the same tactics. He treats the people on his side well so he can stay there, he hides his more morally dubious schemes so they don’t treat him differently. The way he treats Akutagawa is proof. He doesn’t bother treating him better because he doesn’t want Akutagawa to like him or be his friend, besides Akutagawa is on the other side. He’s a bad guy. Dazai isn’t supposed to be nice to him anyway, that’s how he sees it. Akutagawa is an enemy so it’s okay if Dazai uses and manipulates him.

Dazai is supremely fucked up and he can be very toxic to those around him if he isn’t putting in a lot of effort not to be. But if he does put in the effort, if he does let himself care about someone he will do anything for them. He cares about his loved ones, and if he manipulates them it’s with their happiness and continued survival in mind. He will save them at the cost of himself, suffer immense pain even though he hates pain. He will hurt them sometimes with his self destructive behavior but he does his best to desensitize them to it by being as obvious as he can so it isn’t a shock.

Dazai’s relationship with Chuuya is at an interesting in-between point, because he cares about Chuuya A LOT, but he doesn’t want to. Doesn’t let himself. He pushes Chuuya away and runs after him indecisively. It’s incredibly toxic for both of them and they both contribute to that toxicity. Chuuya lets Dazai do it, he doesn’t stop him, just goes along with it, probably because Dazai is one of the people he’s known the longest and probably one of the only people he really trusts. But it hurts them both, they get into ugly fights and hurt one another, and they know all each other’s weak spots so they can hit where it hurts. And then sometimes for a moment their push and pull will reach equilibrium for a moment and it will be bliss, but then one of them will push again and the other will pull back and the whole thing starts over again. So Dazai will do pretty much anything for Chuuya because as much as he doesn’t want to he loves him. But because he doesn’t want to he won’t stop his toxic behavior towards Chuuya.

[augustheart]

doom patrol finale review

character-by-character breakdown:

vic's ending is definitely the best. i love this for him and i think it's the natural progression of his character in this show especially considering little moments like his relationship with baby doll--he's so good with kids of all ages and this is definitely where he would've ended up... maybe not regardless of what happened after he became cyborg, but i think this was definitely an "all roads lead to compassionate mentorship making a difference home" ending for him. i also think he and derrick should get married but that's secondary.

larry's ending is second best for me. to be clear i have no idea what the fuck they're gonna do now but i am very happy for him. we should all wish to be endgame with sendhil ramamurthy.

i really, really wish i liked k's ending but because tv-verse casey is so Nothing i don't care for it. i have complex feelings about the original morrison plot point the underground's coexistence in this way is based on but i think the show handled it fine. but i'm glad they're happy and i think them going by K is nice because it's a reflection of the fact that k-5's chosen name in the underground is k-5, not kay challis. they can't identify with that name because of trauma, but they can reclaim the girl. i may be talking myself into liking it more just by writing this. but i still wish tv casey was actually a character/anything like her comic book counterpart. she doesn't even get to have her own paragraph here.

i think i like cliff's ending. i don't like that it presents being with clara in florida as home when i don't think that's been the case at all throughout the show, but i do think i like it other than that. especially as someone who has been a fan of this character in the comics for years and wants him to be able to finally rest after outlasting so many in his life. i also find divorce having so thoroughly infected cliff's family to be hilarious. only clara and mel escaped the divorce curse.

laura's ending is good. no notes.

rita's ending is so, so close to being good. i actually really like it. she was the first with niles and she's the first to leave without him. but i don't care about agent ! in the slightest. sorry. he just doesn't mean anything to me. but i do think her getting her happy ending is good. i wish larry brought something of hers with him when he left, though. they love(d) each other so dearly until the end even when they were annoying the shit out of each other.

dorothy not being in the finale at all and only being mentioned once is very weird. where's my baby girl!

in terms of other things:

i think they should've wrapped up the actual plot of the season in the last episode so this one just could've been a homecoming finale, because as it is it felt rushed and weird. (i have similar criticism of the stargirl finale, but i give that a little more wiggle room because at least the climax happened. like. onscreen?)

clint mansell's score still goes beyond crazy because he's never composed something that doesn't fuck supremely imo

i am inherently prejudiced against stories that are like "and then they all went their separate ways but remembered their wacky found family fondly" at the end but i think the way they did it here was probably the best they could've done if they wanted to go that route.

i think my season ranking is 1, 4a, 3a, 4b, 3b, 2? maybe? as you can see those middle two are kinda wishy-washy, but i do still really like (...for the most part) the beginning of this season and of season three.

i have more thoughts but i'm having trouble formulating them. if anyone wants a more detailed look at something i left out then feel free to ask.

[necronatural]

for the send me a character ask game: madara (&if you’re willing to do another one izuna)

I always love hearing what you think about them!

Of course no pressure :-)

Madara

First impression: The incredible ice-cold neutrality I had to Naruto villains by that point cannot be underestimated

Impression now: YEEES BROTHER PROBLEMS YEEEEES YOUR FUNDEMENTAL PERSONALITY AT ODDS WITH YOUR LOVED ONES. It's so awesome his brother wanted peace but because he didn't trust Hashirama or the Senju Madara just threw it all away once he fulfilled his brother's dreams. Go king fuck up everything. The Uchiha don't even like you anymore

Favorite moment: That world war fight where he used his sharingan to fight a whole army. I'm sorry that shit was hot as hell

Idea for a story: I know I already wrote Madara getting doublecucked fic but what if it was from Madara's point of view. Wouldn't that be so funny

Unpopular opinion: A lot of fanfics posit it's Uchiha culture to be covetous of your family and so on but I think Madara as an individual has severe control issues and codependency from family trauma. I think he's tender enough to want to do better but definitely the type of guy to Yellow Wallpaper somebody. He did do that. To Obito. Also I think if you genderbend the characters you should leave Madara as male because almost all his behaviour is informed by his male chauvinism and I think he would not do the things he did if he were a woman. Madara is without a doubt a misogynist (You Will Never Understand A Warrior's Bond flavour) so don't forget that either

Favorite relationship: I have special yaoi favourites where I smile and laugh and clap at stupid fujoshit yaoi interpretations. Madatobi isn't one of them though. If they aren't being toxic and insane at each other it's not them and it repulses me. I don't care about topping or bottoming only mind games. Fluff reserved for Hashimada. I like Hikaku having a one-sided psychosexual obsession with him since adolescence but no one understands me

Favorite headcanon:

Izuna

First impression: O...lore [thinks about what this means for Itachi's motivations because that is his narrative purpose]

Impression now:

BLORBO SUPREME

Favorite moment: It was really funny how the anime added a line about how smug he was about the power of the sharingan and then Tobirama immediately utilized all the Sharingan's weaknesses to kill him. Way to kick a nothingdude while he's down

Idea for a story: In 2021 this is the only thing I was capable of doing

Unpopular opinion: Aro/Ace Izuna... And not only aro/ace but insane about it because he lives in feudal japan as a political entity who is sexy. Technically this is headcanon but the difference here is that I don't like it when anyone disagrees with me on this one. Tobizu is my NOTP

Favorite relationship: Platonic Tobizu wins for fucking ever!!!!!!!!!! Also I'm so obsessed with the idea of him as Kagami's post-grad sensei who sucks ass. He makes chuunin and studies under Tobirama and is like They Give You Guys A Curriculum?

Favorite headcanon: They're a romantic tobizu shipper but I believe everything Hinomori posts forever. Go into their gallery and know joy. Oh my god. Just remembering their posts makes me so sentimental. ⬇️frowing up

Sorry Izuna's is small but you have to understand 1. he doesn't real 2. anything that is real to me I wrote 300k words about

[kiwiana-writes]

3 & 18!

Oooooh thank you friend!

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

I kind of have the opposite, which is a GREAT introduction that I honestly can't be bothered with the follow-through on. Honestly I just wanted to write the joke my spouse made while we were watching the film into a fic lol. So have that! Maybe I'll write it one day, maybe I won't.

“Do you think I could make you come without touching you?” The question is not, in itself, shocking. Henry likes talking about sex; it’s something Alex has grown used to, learned to appreciate over time. He certainly can’t argue with the results of Henry’s desire to over-analyse each stray thought and fantasy either of them has, fucking workshopping them into the most incendiary thing the two of them have done together until the inevitable next thing comes along. No, the surprising part of the question is that he asks it now, when they’re sitting side by side on the couch, Henry’s nose buried in Sense & Sensibility while Alex battles his way through the last of his class reading for the night. Henry isn’t even looking at him. “I…” Alex hesitates, really thinking about it. Because it’s the fundamental truth of the universe: Alex’s body is singularly attuned to Henry, has been ever since Henry pressed him back into his mattress in the White House and gave him the supreme head of the Church of England and rewrote Alex’s understanding of himself. Sure, if Henry told him to come right now, with no work up and no warning, he probably couldn’t, though he’s pretty sure his dick would give it a valiant effort anyway. But laid out on their bed, maybe tied up, with Henry pouring a litany of filth and praise into his ears? “Yeah, probably.” “Hmm. All right,” Henry says, and then he just— Turns the page.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Okay I know you haven't read the Much Ado actor AU yet, so I won't go into that one! But one day I totally will lol.

But! Wander Where They Will (swans fic my beloved) originally had the fake/arranged marriage between David and Stevie! Which would have been such a fun subversion of the usual trope, but then I ran up against a deadline and wrote 12k of it in one day and had to streamline the fuck out of the love story lmao. So it wound up where it wound up, but I still wanna see more fake dating/marriage between people who AREN'T endgame. Fucking with tropes is something I deeply enjoy.

[Fun meta asks for writers]

[bougiebutchbitch]

Not an ask, but I just wanted to say that I really love the way you draw characters – it makes it so easy to develop a soft spot for them and their dynamics and explore them further. I was looking for a show to watch the other day and saw your Megastar art on my dashboard and found myself thinking about it a lot, so I started watching G1 (I’d never watched any Transformers series or films before (I know, I’m so late to the party)) and now I’m hooked on the whole concept and the characters and Megastar in general gives me huge Edizzy vibes (I just can’t say no to a toxic and codependent relationship between a commander and his second-in-command on-screen lol). So thanks for luring me into the Transformers fandom by your art!

SCREAMSSSSSSSSSS

RACK 'EM UP TF HOMIES

WE GOT ANOTHER ONE

(In all seriousness - thank you! For peak disturbing Megastar vibes, I heartily reccommend Transformers Prime! It's a lot darker and edgier than G1, but is also pretty damn well-written plot wise. In addition to being a genuinely good show, it depicts Megastar as an all-out abusive relationship, where Starscream is still a Very Awful Person who regularly attempts to kill Megatron, take over the Decepticons, and become supreme dictator of the galaxy, but Megatron 'keeps him in line' by emotionally and physically destroying him on the regular.

Despite this, they end that particular series on... surprisingly good terms. Starscream genuinely shows concern and care for Megatron's wellbeing, and to some degree, vice versa. Then there's a sequel film that We Don't Talk About.

Their relationship in that series is immensely fucked up, to a degree beyond most other series (except perhaps what was touched on in IDW). It's... arguably very badly written, as a depiction of abuse, yet somehow also horrifically realistic in terms of two awful people making each other worse.

Whether purposefully or otherwise, this series captures the hopeless sense of watching someone make the worst possible decisions, manage to escape a terrible situation, then go back again, determined things will be different this time. Even though we all know they won't be, in the long run, despite the brief honeymoon period.

It genuinely disturbed me to watch on a personal and relatable lesson. And I've been rewatching it on-and-off over the years ever since, lol.)

Anyway, I'm so glad you're enjoying G1! It's incredibly fun, and one of those shows that's So Bad It's Good. I adore it. And you're right - the Megastar in that series is soooooo Edizzy mutual codependance-coded..... Delicious!

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty 2x04 review

Honestly, for someone who is meant to push people away and not tell anyone what he's dealing with, Conrad is pretty open about the stuff he's going through. He straight up tells Belly's brother he's having a panic attack and what he can do to help instead of just yelling at him to go the fuck away or something. Idk man.

"Talk about anything" launches into a speech about the beach and how Conrad is the coolest person in the world. The funniest thing about things like this is dialogue about "inconsequential" things would make their bond seem more realistic instead of pointed talks about memories and how cool the other person is. One of the reasons why the gang in T70s works is because they just talk about dumb shit together

"He's grown into quite the asshole" I mean has he, Skye? Your mother is being unnecessarily hostile about the whole thing, it seems like he's just matching her energy idk.

Like this isn't even me being team Conrad or anything because I don't care about him but he hasn't DONE anything for the way everyone talks about him.

Like he's isn't warm when she talks to him in his room but his energy is different because Julia's energy is different.

Jfc they're really trying to make me believe that Taylor and brother dude like each other with how they antagonize each other but this is as performative as Belly trying to be twirly and giddy around Conrad.

Steven. I'm not going to remember that.

"Let's do some drills down by the beach, volleyball camp is in five days." "I haven't touched a ball in months" isn't that why you do the drills, Belly?

"It was hard enough for me to get this one" *laughs* Why is that funny?

Belly actress does the Katie Holmes shrug. It was annoying then, it's annoying now.

"Well we're your family too" even though I kissed you then your brother then made the wake about me because Conrad lay his head on his ex-girlfriend's lap and I admittedly forgot to check up on you when Susannah died because I was too busy focusing on Conrad which consisted of me telling him to stop being sad at prom and then breaking up with him.

The only time Conrad's lack of a facial expression has worked is him looking at Belly when she's all "the magical sea breeze will cool you down"and his face is like that the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Did Belly tell Conrad her plan of schmoozing Skye and I just forgot it because it's very possible, I'm barely paying attention but if she hadn't, maybe she could. Or is this supposed to show how Belly and Jere are best friends now.

Skye doesn't come across as an introvert, they just come across as kind of an ass. "I don't smile, I don't high five, the corners of my mouth might turn up but I WILL NOT SMILE" we get it, you're cool.

No one on this show is likeable.

Them getting ready to play laser tag is literally the ONLY TIME they seem like friends.

I mean, we had pizza for *Christmas* dinner. OH THE HORROR.

Are whaling boats fancy?

I don't need to see this rock climbing scene. Next.

How many Taylor Swift songs do we NEED in a show. I understand I'm the only one who thinks this.

"It was supremely satisfying watching you wipe the floor with Conrad after everything he put you through" YOU MEAN BEING SAD??

"You used to cry every time you looked at the Tower of Terror" yeah but he's, like, seventeen now, Belly.

"He made it so hard not to love him." I MEAN HOW? BECAUSE HE SPOKE? Jesus Christ.

"Used to love him, I mean" JERE HAS ENTERED THE CHAT. I would appreciate this more if it was fun messy.

LMAO so when Jere is like "And what's the key to making me happy, Belly?" I was like oh OK because there was like a hint of innuendo in his voice, completely unintentional I think, but it was a bit like ooh, I hear that and then it was ENTIRELY ruined when she's like "correcting people who say bru-chetta" and he laughs and goes "Because it's bru-sketta!" and it was SUCH a corny delivery.

Skipping everything with the mom because I do not care.

So who's going to have a breakdown at the end of this episode?

"You're one of the most interesting people I've ever met" I'm laughing because the delivery came across as unintentionally sarcastic.

"Jeremiah is always there when I need him" it's a RIDE. I also love when she flashes back to him always being there for her the first instance is his mother telling him to stay inside with her because she's got a summer cold and him being like "MOM" and her being like "PLEASE" and him being like fine. Like that's not what you think that is. He should hang out with her and then be asked to go to the boardwalk and being like nah I think I'll just stay in with Belly. HOW IS THAT NOT OBVIOUS?

"And when he got sick two days later, I stayed home with him" so then wouldn't you two just be passing the cold back and forth to each other?

Ohhhhh they're looking at each other on this ride and she's feeling how much she likes him! and needs him! and they have NO chemistry!

"It feels weird having fun, like part of me feels guilty" if you were a good actress we would see that conflict in you the entire day but whatever, the show is really bad with showcasing how much Susannah's death is supposed to affect her.

Oh no breakdowns because that would require drama. Just the empty beach house which I know is meant to be a MOMENT but it isn't.

[ladysternchen]

Yet Were Its Making Good, For This- More Than One Way

The Quendi only bond once in life, and physical love is important only for reproduction, and also marks the consummation of marriage. That was, in very shortened form, what they all been told by their elders, and how life had appeared at Cuiviénen. By and large, Mablung agreed with the first part of the statement, though he found it unfair that all attention was given to the marriage-bond, and the love that almost all Quendi bore for their friends and kin was very much neglected. The second part of the statement… well. The thought of it almost made Mablung laugh even now, even as he rolled onto his back with a satisfied sigh, the heat of his breath forming small clouds in the icy air. Beleg beside him stretched comfortably like a sleepy lynx and put an arm lazily around Mablung’s waist. What an insult this would have posed to the Elders back at the lake, the two of them proving their sacred teachings so very wrong. Firstly, physical love mattered a great deal, at least to Mablung, now that Beleg had introduced him to the pleasures of it. It felt good and comforting to be so close to another elf, to feel the warmth of their skin, to receive what they would give, and give back in return. Secondly, and more importantly, Mablung had quickly realised that fucking was not boding, at least not in the way that they had always been told. Beleg was still very much his best friend, just like he had been before, their friendship only deepened by the way they would at times caress each other, or find relief deep within the friend’s body. Mablung wondered what there was to the rule, then, if it was different between nís and nér, though he couldn’t see why that would be so. It seemed to him much more likely that if two Quendi were meant for each other, their bodily union would complete that of their Fëar, sealing the bond forever more, so that their connection could not even be broken by death itself. 

Beleg hummed a little, snuggling closer to Mablung for warmth, and the latter, nudged out of his musings, returned the affection by stroking his friend’s hair gently, picking out a few dry leaves from Beleg’s silky tresses. Beleg grinned, and propped himself up on his forearm.

“That was nice.”

Mablung hummed his agreement as he put his arms back behind his head, gazing up at the stars. He felt warm and comfortable and happy. Beleg always made him feel like that, ever since they had first started their little romance, or rather since Beleg had started it, like he had so many others. Apparently, the archer took it upon himself to bed ever single unbonded Quende in the camp, and they all teased him about it a lot. Not that that bothered Beleg at all, he ever took all the teasing in his stride, being supremely unconcerned. That, Mablung mused, was what he loved about his best friend so much. That, and the fact that he could share all his feelings, all his thoughts with Beleg and always find an eager audience, a shoulder to lean on and solid advise.

“You’re beautiful…” Beleg muttered, pressing a gentle kiss to Mablung’s upper arm, making the latter blush violently. He was not -and had never been- one for compliments. Beleg, obviously sensing his friend’s embarrassment, laughed. 

“Oh, you’re as bad as Elwë. Or not quite, as there’s no one on this earth who is as uptight as him, but…”

Mablung did not listen. A shudder had run involuntarily through his whole body, his Fëa, even, at the mention of the name, and even more so when the implication of what Beleg had said started to sink in. Mablung propped himself up on his elbows, frowning at his friend.

“Are you saying…”

Beleg shrugged, sitting up.

“No, but I’m working on it. There is not much else to do as apparently, folks have decided to sing to every pebble they find along the way for at least a few days*. I love him a lot, we’ve been friends as long back as I can remember, so why not? And besides, I like the challenge.” Beleg’s eyes twinkled as he grinned down at Mablung, who did his utmost to keep his feelings at bay.

“You could join me in that quest.” he added casually.

“Never. I won’t pester him if he doesn’t want…”

Beleg laughed openly now.

“He wants to. He needs that break and he needs to come down from his understanding of intimacy. Lord Enel’s take on morals has a firm grip on him still. But honestly, Mablung, you don’t really think I’d persuade anyone into sleeping with me against their will or better judgement?”

Mablung felt himself blush, and hurried to rectify his words.

“Of course not. Forgive me, my friend. I spoke rashly… it’s just… oh, I don’t know. It’s just that Elwë really doesn’t need any more trouble on his plate.”

It was true, Mablung thought. In the long years they had travelled since leaving Cuiviénen, so many of both brothers’ hosts had turned back, or left the journey to venture forth alone, and into other parts of these lands. Even those who stayed with them would often despair at the sight of deep lakes, high mountains or fast-running streams, so Elwë would ever encourage them, urge them on, try to find solutions that suited everyone, and the strain was starting to tell on him. “And it is very much not your responsibility to worry about him for that!” Beleg stated firmly.

“But whose is it, then?”

The archer frowned, scrutinising his friend shrewdly. “I don’t know… but why yours? Wait, are you… oh Mablung” Beleg looked at Mablung with a mixture of amusement and dismay “… you’re in love with him, aren’t you? Like truly in love?”

Mablung nodded, his throat so tight that he hardly managed to speak.

“Always have been. But I know that it can’t be, and I shall not risk his friendship for anything in the world, and most certainly not by confessing my feelings to him only to have any interaction be awkward afterwards.”

Beleg remained silent for a while, then said gently: “Why can’t it be, though? He cares about you a lot. I know that he won’t wed before we reach Aman as he calls it forbidden.” He suddenly laughed again, rolling his eyes at the stars. “We should remind him sometimes that among this people, his word is law. But there we’re back at Enel’s brainwashing. Anyway… why not try the same way I do, or rather with me, so it won’t be so awkward? And then see what comes out of it? Worst thing that can happen is that everything stays the way it is now. And if you do get him involved into some kind of romance, you’ll at least get beautiful memories out of it if not more.”

Mablung swallowed hard.

“You really think so?”

“Yes.” Beleg said firmly, and snuggled back up to Mablung, stroking his head. “Poor Mablung.”

Mablung allowed himself to sink into his friend’s warm embrace, his heart more hopeful than it had been in a long time. 

“Thank you. It feels good to be able to confide in someone.”

Snorting, Beleg touched his palm to the top of Mablung’s head, imitating a blow. “You know, as I am your best friend, you could have done so sooner? If I ever were lovesick, you’d be the first I’d confide in!”

“You are the first I confide in…” “Fine. You still should have done so sooner, not suffer alone. And also, I would never have tried to get Elwë to fuck had I known how you feel about him, at least not without talking to you first.”

Mablung was lost for what to say, for no words could have expressed how grateful he was for Beleg’s kind words, and his unwavering support. See? he thought defiantly, as if his thoughts would reach all the way back to Cuiviénen and enter the minds of the Elders. There is more than one way to love.

[the-pale-goddess]

How is Miss T spending her 30th birthday?👀✨ Does she celebrate it? How does she feel about the 3 and the 0?

Anon, my beloved! Can’t thank you enough for this question and your interest in Tiffany! You’ve made my heart so full 🥹❤️❤️❤️

The big 30 deserves a triple celebration, and that’s exactly the gift I’ve given to my girl 🥂 I went a little overboard with this response, sorry 😅

Warnings: we’re discussing E&T, so expect references to some adult activities jsvksvskvs

Actual birthday

Tiffany insisted that reaching 30 is not a big deal, so she chose to work on August 22nd.

Waving her twenties goodbye wouldn’t make any real difference in her everyday life, but it was symbolic, and this seemingly irrelevant detail put her in a weird, reflective mood.

Ethan knew it was a pretty big deal for her after all. For weeks prior, he watched her stare in the mirror looking for new wrinkles (there were none, but she would always find a reason to shake her head at her reflection and sigh) or plucking out stray gray hairs.

He could tell she’s got a lot on her mind, but she put her brave face on, covered her melancholy with a thick layer of humor and tried to deal with it on her own without burdening others as per usual.

The prospect of entering thirties made her feel a bit lost and confused. Usually confident and fearless, Tiffany suddenly didn’t know which path to choose and how to do it. But the reckless times of irresponsible youth, even if she rarely acted that way, were over. She lost access to that gray area of life where mistakes were allowed. She had to make some life-shaping decisions, and she had to make them soon.

With no hesitation, Ethan decided to be the distraction and support Tiffany needed while her self-searching quest continued.

You bet that E&T were late to work that day 🤡 Tiffany’s ever-caring and thoughtful partner made sure her day started on a high note: with a hearty breakfast in bed and morning sex.

He got up early to spoil her with her favorite Italian style omelette, freshly squeezed orange juice and delicious coffee.

Though he tried his best to be as quiet and sneaky as possible, T woke up anyway. Careful not to ruin the surprise, she pretended to be asleep, but Ethan saw through her act.

Then fucked her senseless just the way she likes.

The afterglow snuggling made it impossible to simply leave the bed and get ready for work, so they stayed in a little longer, enjoying each other’s company and engaging in pillow talk.

Inspired by the occasion, Ethan felt the need to verbalize some of his thoughts.

„You’re well aware that I’m not fond of birthdays, but…I’m immensely grateful for you, and I want you to know how special you are. How important you are to me.”

Tiff (being Tiff) joked in response, saying that Ethan’s advanced age made him sentimental. The truth, hovewer, was evident; her heart filled with overwhelming happiness—she was exactly where she wanted to be: loved, in love, and accomplished, with bright future ahead of her. The thought brought her comfort and boosted her confidence. Little did she know that in a few months her world would turn upside down 🤰🏻ksbksbskbs

Edenbrook celebrated Doctor Addams with a lot of noise—slightly embarrassed and deeply moved Tiff received many wishes and small gifts from fellow doctors and her favorite patients.

After work, E&T had a low-key dinner in one of Tiffany’s favorite sushi restaurants, then drove home to get the finest dessert on the menu 😏

Speaking of desserts…Ethan almost forgot about the most important part of his plan, the birthday cake—a criminal offence, really. After they finished each other They finished the day eating the fancy cake on the balcony, their spent bodies loosely wrapped in the sheets.

Tiffany was obsessed with the choice: vanilla supreme made with custard sauce and Bourbon vanilla, homemade blackcurrant jam, hazelnut dacquoise. Devouring this deliciousness under the stars, comfortably seated in Ethan’s lap as they watched Boston twinkle at night, was definitely worth the wait.

Of course Ethan received a rich reward for his efforts: T went extra with her dinner outfit and new lingerie. She’ll do anything to make him speechless 💅🏻

Birthday party

The gang wouldn’t let Tiffany say goodbye to her youth without a proper party, so she accepted her fate and decided to give in: a fun celebration for her friends takes place on Saturday. One of her sisters, Cynthia, is coming over from San Francisco.

It’s even more special because she organized it with Sienna (whose birthday I HC to be in July)—Miss Trinh waited a month just to have a joint birthday bash with her bestie.

Birthday trip

Last, but not least: a special gift from Ethan! In two weeks, he’s taking Tiff to Ireland where she’ll finally have an opportunity to explore her roots.

Their sightseeing focuses on Galway (her grandparents’ hometown) and the country’s most beautiful natural wonders such as the Cliffs of Moher or the most scenic routes of The Ring of Kerry.

The most exciting part of their vacation, the Galway trip, was meticulously planned by Ethan with the expert help of Tiffany’s Nanna offering some bits of their family history. Unrelated fun fact: Mrs Byrne adores Ethan to bits—she was actually the first and only person in T’s fam to give him a warm welcome.

Initially, they intended to mix Tiffany’s thirty with Ethan’s fourty (30th December for my Capricorn King 🫶🏻), but in the end decided to use his birthday as an excuse for another Eurotrip around January/February (*coughs* remember The Tape?).

I posted a little peek into T’s bday trip shenanigans, you can find the ficlet here ❤️

[parachim]

Here I am doing this the second month in a row! Enjoy!

 Fiction The Intestine of the Basilisk @natsinator (AO3) Oh to be a little robot stuck in a time loop partially of your own creation. The best part of this is the tiny bit where the mining operation machine assumes the body of the boss' sex robot and kills everyone. Catching Fire Suzanne Collins I read Hunger Games around 2014ish? I think Collins has compelling writing if nothing else, and sometimes you just want to read something that you know will be gripping in the moment even if it may not be ultimately satisfying so I returned to the series. I sort of love the fucked up glimpses of the culture of the Capitol we get? It's over the top in a YA way, but not so much so that you can't believe that at least maybe it could happen like that in this universe. Mockingjay Suzanne Collins Collins' is trying to say something about media in this one and it doesn't completely work for me. It's just a little too silly to imagine them making cool action war videos that are all style and no substance with their top fighters when there is an actual war going on. Though the US military puts a lot of money into movies and video games that achieve some of the same purposes of the glorification of war, so it's not like something similar doesn't happen in real life. Kind of wish that the book had managed to pull off Katniss getting with both Peeta and Gale. I think it could've worked without it being too forced and it would have been fucking awesome. Does this series suffer from the 'happily ever babies' trope? Somewhat, yeah. But it does a much better job at it than the HP series does at least. I read The Ballad Of Songbirds And Snakes last year and I thought that was really good. Thought it was supremely quality to write a novel from the POV of the villain who does not get any real comeuppance within the novel.  How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe Charles Yu Starts out strong, if not at least intriguing and then goes nowhere at all, just like the character stuck in his little time travel machine. There are some glimmers of brilliance here (the depressed mother being given a one hour memory time loop to live in over and over again as some sort of elder care is bonkers) but ultimately it suffers from 'extremely sad man continues to be sad' disease. The protagonist has a holographic AI assistant who he admits to having feelings for and it doesn't go anywhere! I think that he should've at least been able to consummate that relationship in whatever way he could. Like can we give this man one W?

Gregor the Overlander Suzanne Collins This was Collins’ debut novel. It does exactly what it needs to do in terms of being an unlikely hero’s call to action story for middle grade readers. It doesn’t really do much beyond what you expect it to do, but I can see the appeal to the voracious fifth grader.

Nonfiction Burning Questions: Essays and Occasional Pieces, 2004 to 2021 Margaret Atwood I like getting a look at someone who has had a pretty long career in the writing world. It's pretty hilarious to me that some of the first reviews for Handmaid's Tale were so critical. Makes me think about how there probably are a lot of really quality books out there that didn't get very far because they got a few bad reviewers in the beginning. Likewise, I think there are a lot of lousy books that end up as best sellers because someone pens a particularly good review. Some of these essays probably could have been cut for having low substance, but when you're Margaret Atwood you can have anything you write published. Kind of drove me a little nuts how many narrators this audiobook had. I understand that it's easier to have almost every essay read by a different person (saves time) but I think I would have preferred if the accent of the various readers was always the same since I have to readjust to listening to a new narrator each time. The Homework Myth: Why Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing Alfie Kohn The main argument of the book is homework is bad, actually. And really, he's probably right. I think there are some valid use cases for homework (mostly essay writing because imo it's too hard to write when there are other people around you) but so much homework is absolute bullshit. Especially projects assigned to elementary schoolers that the success of mostly depends on how much effort the parents put into them. Instead of homework for homework's sake it would be better to just let children do something they actually kind of enjoy after school rather than busywork.  Pedagogy of the Oppressed Paulo Freire I feel like I am simply Too Stupid to understand this book. Anything that is mostly theory I clock out too fast. I understand the Point being conveyed here is that the system of education is typically designed to keep people who are already down, down in a systematic fashion. But so much of this book just washed over me. Probably would be more productive of me to process this book in a graduate seminar, but that's not the sort of thing I can waltz right into these days. Tell Me Where It Hurts: A Day of Humor, Healing and Hope in My Life As an Animal Surgeon Nick Trout I'm really into day in the life as x occupation books, as well as books on the field of medicine. This book checks both those boxes. There's some clever prose and funny stories but it's not wildly funny - but it does do everything that it needs to do. Surviving Death: Evidence of the Afterlife Leslie Kean Do I believe in these recounts of reincarnation, talking with ghosts, supernatural experiences etc.? Not really? I think I'm agnostic about it in that I could perhaps be compelled to believe, but am skeptical of it generally. I do like the idea that you as a mortal human could get a chance to come back in one form or another, so I guess I am primed to hope that these things could be true at the very least. The opening section with the toddler recounting his life as a WWII fighter pilot is, if not true, at least a very compelling story. If you want to construct a narrative that really works, this one really *feels* like it could be convincing. "I want to believe," as they say. The other examples get progressively less convincing as the book goes on. The people who have had loved ones die and then experience some unexplained phenomenon well, I mean, that could happen. Who am I to take that away from them? Though the book becomes very weak as it gets further into spirit mediums and seances. Mediums I could buy that maybe they could have some psychic link to something. I can rule out that there's a few people who could perhaps do this in a way that is meaningful. Sort of wish the author talked more about her dud experiences with mediums to round it out. Writing only your most compelling evidence just screams bias. The seance section at the end is too goofy. It's too hokey for anyone other than the most ardent believer to buy into. I just don't see how little ghost hands manifesting in paraffin wax is anything other than the continuation of outright fake seances of the Victorian era. Wish the book had ended before it got to this part.

[konigsfaerie]

Sapphire Throne

Summary: While in the throne room, Loki finds a way to relieve his new queen's stress.

(sub!loki x dom!fem!reader)

cw: contains bdsm and femdom)

The Mortal Queen is what they called you, even though you were mortal no longer. You spent your childhood and formidable years on Earth, and when you met Loki and were taken to Asgard, your newfound people either loved or hated you. But the people that loved you adored you, would die for you, and the people that hated you really hated you, some going as far to commit treason to get you off of the throne. Some had views like Odin. Views such as mortals are of no consequence, only made to worship the gods of old and die at an early age. It infuriated them that someone from Earth could hold such power not only physically, but at court.

Nevertheless, Loki fell in love with you during your time on Earth and made you Asgard’s queen, and you stepped into the role with such love in your heart for your people, whether they detested you or not. As you sat on the throne, your love next to you, deciding whether to go into enemy territory, you placed a hand on your chin and contemplated for a moment, water running through your veins. “I hate to put our people at war again…. Our soldiers through more battles,” you said, your eyes falling to the floor and then back up to your council members. “But I fear if we don’t, Asgard might fall. We can’t risk our people like this.”

Most of the council members had the utmost respect for your rule, although one or two silently protested your status. “Is it decided, My Queen?”

You gave a look to Loki, and he nodded in return. “It is, Vastros. We will invade their territory within the next nightfall. We go to war this winter,” you proclaimed, slamming down your large staff, the color of lavender. The look on your face was no look of pride, of hope. It was the look of a woman knowing she would send her people to die, even though you were sure we’d win the war.

The entire castle shook with your proclamation, and Loki’s matching staff hummed in response. For many decisions, Loki let you take the lead, as he knew you needed to solidify your title as queen. It didn’t matter much, because on many, if not all issues, you eventually came to the same decision.

As the council members left in unison, both of you stayed at your thrones. You gave a deep sigh, a hand flying to your forehead.

You personally got to know almost all of the soldiers before you were first crowned. At first it was an act of simply wanting to gain trust among the people, but soon they became some of the most trusted friends you had. You were already a trained fighter, but the way of the Asgardians were much different, and your magic was extremely new to you. While you could wield the power of the elements, they taught you power of the supreme weapons they held. This was why it was so painful to declare war. You knew that many of the people you came to love so much would die on a nondescript, frozen-over battlefield, no one to send them off to Valhalla.

“I know you’re stressed, my darling,” Loki breathed, “but you did make the right decision.” His deep green eyes found your chocolate brown ones, full of love and sympathy. “I suppose I never warned you of how much it could hurt… making decisions for a whole nation of people.”

You shook your head. “No… I suppose I didn’t know how many enemies we had. How much they wanted to get their hands on our vaults.”

His face fell to the floor, knowing he couldn’t exactly say something to make all the hurt go away. He knew how much you loved the Asgardian people, your newfound people. And knowing some of them might die… He quickly fell back into his head, as he was quite likely to do. But you knew him completely. You knew his thoughts, his doubts. His thoughts of thinking he wasn’t good enough to rule Asgard, not good enough to rule beside his Mortal Queen, not good enough to love his queen and receive love in turn. You wouldn’t let him fall back into those doubts.

“There is one thing you could do to relieve my stress, pet,” you quipped, giving him a small smirk. While you would maintain your composure at almost all times, the love in your eyes couldn’t be mistaken.

His back straightened on his throne, his eyes slowly finding yours. “Anything,” he said, not much more than a breathless whisper at the sound of one of his favorite nicknames you gave him.

“Get on your knees.”

Loki was wearing his Asgardian leathers, and you also fell into traditional Asgardian fashions, a small blue cape adorning your shoulders to honor your favorite element, with small green accents to honor Loki, only going down to your mid-back. Beyond that, you had a white jumpsuit on and white boots, streaked with even more green.

Before you could blink, Loki was at your feet, his knees on the ground and his back perfectly arched like the good boy he was. “M-My queen.”

Many people would probably guess he was a brat, and you a brat tamer, of which you both could absolutely be, but the gods-honest truth was that he loved serving you in all ways. It got him off. It made his cock twitch. And seeing him on his knees for you made you wet. Something about his willingly submissive nature towards you and only you made you want to make him beg.

“Oh, sweet boy,” you teased with a chuckle, “you’re so ready for me.” Even with all the doom and gloom, you knew that throughout the meeting when he looked at you, he was imagining just this. You placed a boot on his shoulder, contemplating just what you had in store for him. “What shall I do with you?”

The guards were still at the doors, which undoubtedly made Loki more excited, knowing his personal guards knew how much he served his queen.

“Leave us,” you commanded.

As they gave a curt nod and exited with a bow, the doors closed with a loud thud and you gave another smirk. “I know you like it when they watch, my little prince,” you mused, gazing into those wanting eyes.

In turn, he gave a small whimper and bowed his head.

“Unclasp my cape,” you ordered.

His hands scrambled onto your body, feeling on you until he reached your cape, unhooking the small golden buttons with his fingers. “P-Please let me touch you. Please.”

A small, almost nonexistent golden zipper ran down your white jumpsuit, and as you unzipped yourself, you pushed him back onto his kneeling stance. “Touch me?” you teased, his mouth falling open as he realized you didn’t have anything underneath your clothes. Your body lay more than halfway exposed, his eyes going directly to your breasts.

“Touch… these?” You grabbed your tits, pushing them together and twisting your nipples in-between your two fingers. You gave a little moan, spreading your legs so he could see how you glistened.

He knew to stay put. To stay absolutely still until you said otherwise, because he was such a good boy for you. Because he had seen how you enjoyed punishing him so much the last time he dared to touch you without permission, spanking him and not letting him cum for days at a time until he begged for release. The ways in which you punish him each time he disobeys got more creative.

“Now, who’s my good boy?”

“Me! I-I am! I promise, just please let me-”

You grabbed his wrist, pushing his face into yours, letting his lips fall onto yours. As the two of you kissed, you grabbed his throat and pushed him towards your body, making his hands grab your thighs. “Touch me,” you breathed.

He went to work on your body, squeezing your thick thighs, going up to your equally thick torso, cupping your breasts. You could feel his breath hitching. As your tongue flipped over his, you used your powers to slip off his pants, revealing the feminine underwear he had on that you commanded he always wear.

“Up.”

At once, he jumped up and let you survey his body, a small pout on his lips from the ghost of touch he felt. You felt it too, but you’d never reveal that. In times like these, you’d never let him know just how much you needed his fingers against your body.

“Take your shirt off.”

He quickly stripped down, all but his underwear, as you hadn’t ordered him to do so. And he knew how much you liked looking at his cock straining the thin fabric, of his ass popping out of the cheeky, lacy underwear. Loki bit his lip, waiting for you to instruct him further. Needing you to tell him what to do, even yearning for it.

“Such a good little prince,” you observed, putting one finger on the lacy underthings and pulling them down, his rather heavy cock immediately popping out and standing to attention. “And an excited one, hm?”

You finally arose from your throne of crystal sapphire, walking behind and fetching a black collar. “Is this what you want?”

He suddenly was unable to speak, only nodding without abandon, knowing the collar was a special treat you only gave to him when he was extra obedient. You let out a chuckle, placing it around his neck until you heard a click. With any other collar, he might be able to unlock it, but not this one. You had specifically trained with the most experienced of magical designers and created this yourself. Only could you unlock it, and that’s why it excited him so much.

You sat back down upon your sapphire throne, abandoning your jumpsuit and spreading your legs, placing them on Loki’s back, pushing him to your pussy. “Make your mommy feel good.”

His tongue immediately got to work, spreading over your glistening folds and lapping at your clit. As soon as he started moaning, you knew you were done for. The vibrations were already sending you over the edge, and as you groaned, you grabbed a handful of his black curly hair quite roughly, which only made matters worse for him.

He scooted even closer to you, slowly pushing a finger into you. As his fingers pumped into you, you gripped one arm on your chair, the other holding his hair tightly. Not only was he pumping into you, adding another finger, but he curled them, knowing exactly where your g-spot was. “My love-” you moaned, “Fuck!”

His tongue worked away from your clit, obviously wanting to taste you for longer. He stroked your pussy with his tongue, up and down, up and down, which caused you to wriggle around in his mouth. You could hear nothing but moans from him, his tongue diving deep in your hole.

Unable to stand it any longer, you gave him an order. “My clit, now. Make me cum.” You could only hold your composure for so much longer.

You could feel the disobedience thrumming off of him, wanting his tongue inside you for as long as he could. His tongue entered your hole again and in response, you dug your boots into his back and he let out a small cry of pleasure. “Now!”

He immediately realized his mistake, his place, and his tongue started making circles around your clit slowly. “Ah, fuck, Loki!” you gasped. “Make your queen cum, make your mommy cu-” Your body pulsed with pleasure, digging your boots into him even more. As you tried to escape your orgasm, his hands found your thighs and his tongue kept your pleasure in place, making you dizzy as your orgasm reached its height and your hips bucked against his soft lips.

As you came down, your hand wrapped around Loki’s beautiful curls once again, snapping his head up to look at you. You surveyed his beautiful face, his chin dripping with your juices. His tongue licked his lips, and you pressed your mouth to him, your tongue circling his, tasting yourself.

Your hand moved down to his waist, moving him to your lap and pressing him against your chest. “Sweetie?” you grabbed his face, looking into his eyes and putting on the sweetest smile you could muster. “I’m not done with you yet.”

His eyes widened slightly, his cock pressing against you as he made little movements, needing to feel your touch. “Mommy,” he begged. “Please. I’ll do anything, just please touch me.”

Your firm hand gripped his cock tightly. “Like this? Is this what my sweet boy wants?”

He started nodding, his mouth opening slightly as his eyes dug into yours. “B-But I…”

“Use your words, pet.”

“I want to be inside you!” The words almost came out like one, and you gripped the edge of his collar, getting up from the throne and dragging him just beyond the throne room, upstairs to both of your chambers.

As you dragged him above, you glanced at his blushed face, loving the fact that you had total control of him, body and soul. He was yours, and there was no denying that. In that moment and all moments forward, he’d do anything you told him to do.

You both entered your rooms, clad in black and white marble, huge statues of jade and sapphire separating the bedchambers, living spaces, and kitchen. With a stroke of your hand, the candles and fires lit at once, illuminating his face as you pushed him against the stone wall and started teasing the head of his cock.

With a touch of your finger, the collar fell to the floor and before he could start pouting, you pressed your hand against his throat. He gave a smile completely fueled by pleasure, his form slacking against the wall as your hand moved to stroke him. “Tell me what you want again.”

“I want….. I want…. Inside of you,” he whimpered, writhing against your hand.

“And should I let you cum tonight?”

“Yes! Please!” His blush went deep red, his eyes snaking over your form, landing at your drenched pussy, moving his eyes just for a moment at your hardened nipples.

“Please what?” Your face was one of hardened stone, minutes away from bending him over and punishing him until he cried if he didn’t call you by your proper name in the next five seconds.

“Please my queen! Fuck me!”

You gripped his throat even harder, moving him over to the bed lined with silk sheets and white covers. You threw him onto it, flipping him over to appreciate his ass. You gripped it hard, giving it a little spank. You simply couldn’t help yourself, and you made a mental side note to fuck it later until he was whimpering under your weight.

You flipped him over once more, straddling his perfect thighs and placing his hands on your tits. “Squeeze my nipples, my little prince.”

Of course he did as he was told and his hands sent shocks through your body. You moved his knee up, slowly grinding your clit against it. You bit your lip, letting out a little moan as he continued to palm your breasts. “I love you, sweet boy. I love you so much.”

“I love you more tha-'' before he could get the words completely out, you softly pressed your lips to his, nothing like the desperate kiss only minutes before. This time, it was tender, it was soft, but it also contained all the words you wanted to say.

I love you.

I’d do anything for you.

I’d kill for you.

I’d die for you.

As you pulled away, you gripped his hard cock and slowly lowered yourself onto him, promoting a loud moan from his lips. “Does this feel good, baby?”

His head tilted back, grabbing your thighs tightly enough to leave marks. You’d let him. If anyone was to see, it would only be further proof you owned each other. And the bruises around his neck would be proof you especially owned him. He could conceal them with magic, but he wouldn’t. During council meetings and social gatherings, he’d press against them so he could feel what you did to him the previous night.

Before he could get his answer out, you slowly started riding him, almost teasing him. In response, he fingers teased your nipples, twisting and rubbing them slowly. You reached his full length, and realized you probably weren’t going to keep your calmness for much longer.

You leaned your body completely against his, wrapping your arms around him and riding him with abandon. “You’re a fucking goddess- you’re - you’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” he breathlessly remarked.

His length completely filled you up, and as always, was stretching you out. Sometimes you thought you couldn’t handle it, but eventually you regained your control and pressed your hands around him, enveloping him to completion. You bounced back and forth on his dick, crying out in unison with him, already on the brink. You were pulsing against his thickness, but you didn’t want to cum just yet, if only to tell him not to.

“Goddess, can I?” At this point, his words were just sounds and you didn’t know if you could reply without moaning your words out.

“Can you what?” you let out.

“Can I cum?  Please?” The last word was just a plea, and you knew he’d do anything just to cum, to release inside of you and have you dripping with his cum.

“Yes, that’s what you want. You want me to cum against your cock and make me leak with your cum. Tell me that’s what you want,” you growled.

“Yes! That’s what I want!” he started, thrusting with you as if he couldn’t handle it anymore. “I want you fill you up, I want my cum all over your thighs, I want-”

“Cum for me!”

At those words, you both cried out as you slammed his shoulders onto the bed, bouncing up and down and taking both your orgasm and his.

The orgasm you had previously was nothing compared to this. You were all filled up, cumming against his cock without abandon. You could feel him shooting inside of you, you could see his hands ripping at the bedsheets as he moaned in pleasure, which only built the orgasm, stars exploding in your eyes.

You both were breathless, panting against each other's bodies. For a minute, you couldn’t move, the pleasure finally ebbing from your body, but then Loki was flipped on top of you, stroking his dark curls and kissing his forehead.

You could feel how tired he was, how tired you made him, and you commanded the collar back to your hand, locking it against his throat. “Thank you,” he said, biting his lip and looking into your eyes.

“I love you, my sweet boy.”

“I love you more than words could possibly say.”

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC’s half Demon, and they look AWFULLY familiar...

‘Kay guys, I got a different kind of stupid Headcanon to throw at you. Get ready!

Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Part 2.5 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

*ahem* picture if you will, it’s the day the exchange program is set to start. The student council (nix Mr. Kill All Humans, Weeb-supreme, and our Scummy Sweetheart) have assembled to welcome the new human student. All is going according to schedule, the portal opens up at eight am sharp, they hear the pitiful screams of the selected human who was not given a heads up about the whole thing, and the poor little human falls straight onto the marble floor.

There’s something a tad... off about this human don’t you think? After they’ve peeled their sorry ass off the floor they observed the assembled student council with an air of sophistication and self importance that no one expected. Their posture was perfect, their eyes sharp and calculating... they bared a striking resemblance to-

“Lucifer,” Diavolo looked to his right hand man, then back to the human. “The human kind of looks like you!”

And out popped four pitch black wings from the human’s back and two small horns out of the sides of their head, one horn was a bit bigger than the other. They even still had some of their down feathers! How cute!

((Content warning: Swearing (I have a potty mouth, forgive me), but that’s it.))

Luci-dad

So, the MC is Lucifer’s kid! Of course Mr. Prideypants immediately tries to recall exactly what little romp in the human world uh... spawned this half-human half-demon child of his. Good thing MC’s got the other parent on speed-dial.

“Please note, MC,” Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose upon hearing Asmo take even more pictures of his newly discovered hellspawn. “I was not aware of your existence, if I was I’d-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not upset.”

Lucifer blinked a few times in surprise. “P...pardon? You aren’t upset?”

“No, my parent told me that my father was a high ranking demon, and they bare no ill will against you. Though, I am looking forward to this whole... exchange program thing.”

Oh wow, that was easier than Lucifer thought. Damn. Well, he was a father... (let’s be real, he’s been parenting his brothers for thousands of years, and a good chunk of you sinners call him daddy)

MC is probably the most protected student at RAD, despite the fact that they have no visible security detail whatsoever. They didn’t want to be seen as... weak and pathetic.

Something about this human just... set the lesser demons on edge. Any talk of eating them was stamped out on the first day when they walked by. It’s like Lucifer himself was staring at them, daring the demons to try and bother the human. MC’s powerful presence kept them protected and feared.

...at least until dear uncle Asmo decided to do their hair one morning. All those ribbons may have looked adorable but they kind of ruined the intimidation factor.

MC loved to mess with the other students, keeping their lineage a secret for the first little while just made it so much funnier when the other demons tried to scramble out of MC’s way without looking like they were running from the ‘weak little human exchange student’.

Oh wow, what a sadist. Like father like child

Flying lessons are a must. Poor MC isn’t terribly good at controlling their wings, and their horns are still growing in so when they pop into their demon form the first thing they get is a sore skull. Ow... it sucks that Lucifer isn’t outwardly very sympathetic.

“Ow!” MC crashed face first into the grass in the backyard of the House of Lamentation. “Father! My wings are cramping! Can’t we practice this tomorrow?”

The sight of seeing his dear child crash face first into the ground had lost its hilarity after the first three times. Lucifer slowly lowered himself to the ground and crossed his arms as he stood over his incredibly grass-stained kid.

“MC, we’ve been ‘practicing this tomorrow’ for the past month. If you want to learn to fly you’re going to have to actually manage to stay in the air for more than three minutes.”

MC shot Lucifer a withering glare that only preteens were capable of, Lucifer matched it with his own much more sophisticated glare.

“You’ve been flying for over a thousand years! Don’t you have any tips that can actually help other than ‘don’t panic, you’ll look ridiculous’?”

Lucifer dragged a gloved hand down his face and looked around, the two were alone as far as he could see.

“MC,” Lucifer began. “When I was a young angel, I needed to learn how to fly with someone else.”

MC perked up. “Who?”

“Michael. The smug bastard picked up flying quicker than I did.”

“What’d you do?!”

Lucifer smiled at his child’s intense investment. “I practiced flying every day for five extra hours until I could do everything that Michael could do, just better.”

MC’s starry eyed interest died almost instantly upon hearing about the extra five hours of practice. “Humph, I bet I could outfly younger you and Michael with only two hours of practice a day.”

“Really now?”

“Yes! Watch!” MC shook off their wings and took off in a running start before shakily making it into the air. Their form was decent enough, and they weren’t shaking as much as the previous attempts. “SEE?!”

“Yes MC,” Lucifer smiled. “I can see.”

You know what else Lucifer could see? MC crashing right into a tree.

“Ouch...”

Okay... maybe they could halt practice a little early and order a treat from Madame Scream’s. A little sugar to refuel is needed when the end goal is crushing a mutual rival beneath their heels. Just some good old fashioned father/child bonding time!

MC has a smaller seat right next to Lucifer’s seat in the Assembly Hall. I will not compromise on this one.

For all your fluff needs, I give you: Lucifer teaching MC how to play the piano. He has a proud little smile on his face when his kid finally starts getting it. That’s all. Enjoy the image.

That one Uncle who gives you Alcohol at Family Gatherings (Mammon)

Yeah, when Mammon burst in late to the party and whining about everyone’s spamming him with texts to haul his scummy ass to the Assembly Hall, the last thing he expected was to see a mini-Lucifer.

“What the fuck am I lookin’ at?!”

The glare the two Lucifers gave the poor Avatar of Greed was enough to make him want to turn tail (uh, wing) and book it down the hall.

“Mammon, this is MC. They’re my child.”

“Hello.”

“...whaaaa..?” Mammon looked between the two, same glare, same intimidating aura, same annoyingly good posture.

Mammon scratched the back of his neck and looked over at his older brother. “Do I uh... still gotta babysit em’ if they’re not human?”

“The lake of Cocytus will melt the day I let you babysit without supervision.” Lucifer grumbled.

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

Despite Lucifer’s initial denial, Mammon and MC ended up spending a lot of time hanging out when Lucifer was busy with paperwork. Of course Mammon’s first thought was ‘how do I profit off this situation?’

MC is now Mammon’s designated babysitter after they caught him picking up their feathers that had fallen off with the intention of painting them white and claiming they were Lucifer’s from back in the Celestial Realm.

Mammon does end up spoiling MC a little. Just a smidge. They’re the kid of his totally not his favourite brother after all! How could he not? Whether or not these gifts are obtained legally or are legal at all is subject to scrutiny.

“Mammon, I can’t drink this!” MC placed the bottle of Demonus back on the counter of the kitchen.

“Why not? That’s a bottle of the good stuff! We gotta celebrate you gettin’ an A on that test somehow!”

“I’m underage! Incredibly underage. I’m not legally allowed to drink.”

Mammon wordlessly plopped a silly straw into the bottle. “...does that help?”

“No.” MC then inclined their head to the bottle. “And I don’t want to get hung from the ceiling, that bottle was in my father’s study yesterday, I’m above theft.”

“How old are you s’posed to be anyway? Never mind... uh...” Mammon wracked his brain for something else he could do for MC that didn’t cost anything (don’t judge him, the poor bastard was flat broke!). “I could... teach you to drive!”

“Driving?”

“Yeah! Drivin’ is awesome! We can take my car!”

The bills for the damages done to the car and the Devildom were mailed to Lucifer the next day, and MC and Mammon got to keep each other company as they hung from the ceiling. Ah well! At least MC wasn’t upside down!

Mammon wasn’t that good of a flight teacher either, he also crashed into a tree (the same tree MC crashed into, actually) when he was cheering for MC. They were finally able to do a loopdy loop! He was proud and distracted! Okay?! Lucifer! Stop smirkin’ at him! It’s not that funny!

At least the vantage point from the tree was decent and the branches didn’t scratch him up too badly. Oh hey... that person walking by was wearing a very nice watch... he’d be right back-

That Uncle That is Always Absent From Family Gatherings and When He is Present He Leaves Early (Levi)

He missed everything. That is not an exaggeration. He was in the middle of an online raid battle and couldn’t look at his phone! No Lucifer he can’t pause an online game! That’s not how it works!

Okay, the human exchange student is half demon? WOAH! THAT’S JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME- W A I T. THE LITTLE NORMIE IS LUCIFER’S KID?!

Okie doke, he was fully convinced that MC just had to be an anime protagonist.

They binged every series that Levi compared them to. Sure MC might have missed a few assignments because of late night anime binges, but they were too good for this school crap anyway, right?

Nope. Lucifer put a ban on the two watching anime until both their grades improved. Surviving that hell brought the two together.

“Ugh!”

The sound of a pencil case being haphazardly thrown across the room made Levi peek out of his bed-tub. If his figurines got knocked over so HELP HIM-

“This is stupid!!I shouldn’t have to catch up with this!” MC crossed their arms and gave their Demonology textbook their best disapproving glare.

Lucifer Lite (tm) was having a hell of a time trying to claw through their missed work, and Levi sympathized, he really did, it’s just... he was playing Animal Crossing-

Levi paused the game to placate his anime-buddy when their wings popped out and he feared for his rare merch’s safety.

“H-hey, MC? Do you need help?” Levi’s offer was met with a bone chilling glare that lived rent free in his nightmares ever since. He had pulled a Mammon and forgotten he was talking to Lucifer’s child. Lucifer’s allergy to help must have passed down to MC.

“No! I don’t! It’s just... dumb!” MC hissed, she turned and looked over at the fish tank. “Right Henry 2.0?”

Henry 2.0 did not respond.

“MC, you need to finish your homework or we can’t watch anything together,” Levi sighed, he had finished his work over an hour earlier. He had mastered the art of all night anime binges and managing to do most of his work in the fifteen minutes between the time he woke up and the time school was supposed to begin. “We haven’t even binged all of volume 4 of TSL yet!”

“Mmm...” MC grumbled. “Fine...”

MC picked up their pencil case and began continued their work. Levi breathed a sigh of relief and went back to Animal Crossing.

The tiny normie did in fact finish their work, only after they caved and asked Levi for help. Swore him to secrecy, they did... very intimidating, they were.

Just saying, he most definitely sent that one Keanu Reeves meme with big Keanu and little Keanu but with Lucifer and MC to the wrong group chat. Poor bastard.

Flying lessons? No. Levi hadn’t flown since his time in the Celestial Realm, he had no advice to give other than: “Flap your wings!”

“THAT’S WHAT I’M DOING YOU-”

MC didn’t get to finish that thought, they lost their balance and fell right into RAD’s fountain. Ah well, Levi had a head start on running for his life that he squandered by laughing at MC. RIP.

The Uncle/brother/whatever the fuck that Starts a Fight With Your Dad at the Family Reunion. (Satan)

Oh... another Lucifer? Eugh. Gross.

Satan gave the kid a wide berth when they first met. Everything the kid said or did ticked him off. “Tsk. Look at MC. Making an omelette. So annoying.” “Oh wow, MC vacuumed? Roll out the red carpet, we need to celebrate their existence!” “Look at them. Breathing. Disgusting.”

MC’s pride wouldn’t ever let them admit it but... they knew Satan didn’t like them, and it hurt their feelings.

“Shhhh,” Satan whispered into his backpack.

“Meow.” The backpack replied.

“I said shhhhh.”

The backpack did not reply after that, which was a good thing considering the little princet of the HOL was nearby.

“Satan?” They asked. “Who are you talking to?”

Satan coldly brushed past them as he made his way to his room. “No one you need to concern yourself with.”

When the little calico kitten was safe in his room, Satan quickly realized a mistake in his foolproof ‘sneak a cat into the house’ plan. He didn’t have any toys for the kitten, and he didn’t want his books getting scratched...

It was alright, he’d just rush out to the a store that sold cat things and rush back! Five minute trip tops!

Well when Satan got back the cat was no longer in the room. Oh dear. He discreetly tore apart the house looking for the poor little thing until he ended up finding it in the library, happily chasing around a loose feather being held up by MC.

“Oh, hello Satan.” MC chirped as the kitten batted it’s adorable little paws at the feather.

“My... my door was closed. Did you let the cat out?”

MC shrugged. “I heard meowing.”

Satan ran a hand through his hair and grumbled. Stupid smaller Lucifer. Stupid original Lucifer. Everyone sucked.

“Let me guess, you’re going to run to Lucifer and tell him all about the meowing and the rule breaking.”

MC shook their head and glared at Satan. “Of course not. I’ve already gotten way too attached to this little guy anyway. We’re co-parenting this kitten like mature adults.”

With some coaxing, Satan did sit down and play with the kitten, maybe MC wasn’t... so terrible.

The two watch Unsolved Mysteries together, that’s their show. “This guy did it.” “Satan, we’re two minutes into the episode-” “Trust me.”

Thirty minutes later.

“He did it.” “See MC, what’d I tell you?”

Lucifer did find out about the cat, but with enough pleading, MC and Satan managed to warm up the cold spot in Lucifer’s chest where his heart should have been. The cat’s name is Detective Toe Beans (or just Bean).

Satan can’t fly, he has a tail, but he did read up on wing anatomy and how flight actually works in demons, his advice would be good in theory, but it’s full of so much technical jargon that MC can’t understand it.

At least MC didn’t crash into something, they barrel rolled through one of the HOL’s windows. Good thing it was the window to their room. The broken arm still hurt like hell.

The Best Dressed Bitch Who Brings The Booze to The Reunion. (Asmo)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Lucifer’s kid was SO CUTE! A thousand pictures commemorating that adorable moment needed to be taken! Wait- Lucifer- GIVE BACK THE PHONE-

Asmo, surprise surprise, absolutely adores little MC! So cute! So small! He was just so excited to announce to all his Devilgram followers that Lucifer was finally a certified DILF.

That post disappeared five minutes after it was made but the damage had already been done.

Asmo made sure MC looked their best at all times, if they needed help talking to anyone? Asmo’s got their back!

Sure, maybe he’s a little pushy, but pushy’s a good thing sometimes, right?

“Asmodeus-”

“No, these shoes wouldn’t fit you...”

“Asmo-”

“No, not these ones either...”

“ASMODEUS.”

Asmo squeaked and jumped upwards, Geez Louise... little MC’s voice could sure be scary when they wanted it to be...

“I don’t need any fancy new shoes.” MC huffed, sitting up straighter in one of the chairs in Asmo’s room. “I thought this was supposed to be a sleepover.”

“Hmmm...” Asmo pouted. “Makeovers are an essential part of sleepovers... what’d you do with your human friends up in the human world that could possibly be better than a make-over?!”

MC began to list things off. “Ordered junk food, talked about people we hated, watched movies,”

“Greasy food is so bad for your skin...” Asmo cringed and shook his head violently. “But I’m totally down to watch a movie and bitch about people I hate!”

“Ah yes, human sleepovers, a tradition I never quite had the chance to enjoy.” Solomon said from Asmo’s bed. “Who are we bitching about?”

“Remind me what Solomon is doing here.” MC muttered as they sat down in front of Asmo’s TV.

“Because, I wanted to hang out with my two favourite humans.” Asmo cooed, reaching over and trying to pinch MC’s cheek, which they awkwardly dodged.

“Can we watch The Exorcist?” Solomon asked, propping his head up with his hands.

“Ew, no.” Asmo made a face at him. “That scene with the vomit? Hell NO.”

“Mm.” MC mumbled. Asmo turned to look at them.

“MC? Are you doing okay? You don’t look like you’re having any fun...”

“I’m fine.” MC grumbled.

Asmo pursed his lips, as much as it made his little narcissistic heart break, he nudged MC. “Why don’t you pick the movie, sweetie. I’m sure Solomon and I will like anything you pick!”

MC noticeably brightened. “Let’s watch Scream!”

The strangled noise that came from Asmo was... concerning, but to his credit, The Avatar of Lust held his tongue about his distaste for the movie, and the three slumber-party goers had quite the lovely time.

After the movie ended, MC went back to their room, sure it was a sleepover but their bed was right down the hall.

Good for Asmo and Solomon. Horny fuckers. We stan.

Asmo just claps and tries to cheer MC on when it comes to their flying lessons. (The idea that Asmo came up with to wear his cheerleader costume from the previous Halloween was immediately shot down by Lucifer)

“You’re doing wonderful, MC- WATCH OUT FOR THE POWER LINE!”

MC didn’t hit the power line, but Asmo’s scream of terror caused them to fall butt-first into a dumpster. Their injured tailbone served as a tragic memory of the incident.

Oh well, good thing Asmo had nice smelling soap to give that could mask dumpster-stink.

The Uncle that eats everything and tells you to eat your veggies while you angrily pick at your broccoli at the kid’s table. (Beel)

Lucifer... has a kid?! Beel choked on the cheetos he had snuck into the Assembly Hall when the kid’s wings popped out.

Oh wow, that’s nice :) maybe they can eat together. Belphie would probably like them.

Wait what is the gender neutral term for Niece or Nephew?

...Nibling? Uh... let’s not say that around Beel. We don’t need him to get hungrier and begin associating MC with nibbling on things.

The Underground Tomb incident probably went a little differently, but after all that nonsense, the two are closer than two peas in a pod!

Mmm... peas...

“Beel?” MC stepped into the Avatar of Gluttony’s room.

“Hi MC.” Beel was doing push-ups in the middle of the room, on the ground right beneath his head was a massive bowl of spaghetti that he bit into every time he completed a push-up. “Can you come stand on my back? I need the extra weight.”

“On your back?” MC padded closer. “Are you sure? It’s not going to hurt?”

“No, it’ll be okay.” Beel assured them. “Belphie and I did this all the time. Except Belphie is normally asleep.”

MC tentatively stepped onto Beel’s back. It was a balancing act to say the least, they eventually gave up on standing and ended up sitting cross legged between Beel’s shoulder blades.

“You did this with Belphegor?” MC asked.

“Yeah,” Beel sighed. “He was always too tired to exercise, but he’d let me bench press him sometimes...”

MC frowned and hugged their knees to their chest. Knowing full well that Beel’s twin wasn’t in the human world like Lucifer said was absolutely ripping them apart from the inside. Guilt felt just as rotten as their pride did when they were being belittled...

“Maybe you’ll see him again sometime soon.” MC whispered. “Maybe my father’ll come to his senses and let him come back down to the Devildom.”

Beel paused his push-ups for a brief moment, then nodded and went back to his eating exercising combo. “I hope so. He’ll like you, MC. I’m sure of it.”

MC nodded. “I... hope so.”

Beel’s a pretty decent flight teacher, but his wings are just so different from MC’s that it renders any tips he had next to useless.

“MC, maybe your wings aren’t flapping fast enough.”

“Beel, I appreciate the thought, but I’m not a hummingbird. Or a fly. I don’t need to flap my wings a million times a minute to stay afloat.”

Ah well, MC tried to take some of Beel’s advice, but their lower right wing cramped up and they ended up flying in circles until Beel was able to catch them. Ah well, better than the dumpster incident the previous week.

The Uncle That Passes Out in The Basement and You’re Not Allowed to Wake Him Up Even Though All Your Toys and Video Games Are Down There. He Also Picks a Fight With Your Dad’s New S/O Before He Passes Out. (Belphie)

Sitting in the attic was quite a drag, and this supposedly weak little human was quite the annoyance to try and call out to. It took a lot longer than expected, but when he heard little footsteps coming towards his prison, Belphegor nearly jumped with joy.

Oh... it... looked like Lucifer. Smelled like Lucifer. Stood like Lucifer. Quacked like Lucifer. Or... trilled..? Whatever sound a peacock made, this brat sounded an awful lot like Lucifer.

A... half-demon. Hmph. Belphie honestly thought Lucifer had actual standards. Not anymore, he guessed.

(Man I could fill a whole-ass fic with the Belphie betrayal thing, but for now let’s skip to post attic nonsense)

Okay so maybe MC wasn’t disgusting. They made a good nap buddy. It was cute when their wings came out when they were sleeping sometimes. Well... it was cute when they didn’t hit him in the face and make him wake up with his mouth full of feathers.

What Beel said had been true, Belphie made a good substitute when weights weren’t available, but Beel didn’t want MC to feel left out, so Belphie and MC ended up sitting on his back while he did push ups. MC once got bored and started playing Go Fish with Belphie on Beel’s back while he exercised.

Yes. MC is still a member of the Formerly-Anti-Lucifer League.

“Are you sure he’s not going to be too mad at us?” MC asked for the dozenth time that day. Detective Toe Beans was wrapped around their neck like a scarf (he had gotten so big!!!) while MC nervously sat in one of the Library chairs.

“Positive.” Belphie said with a toothy grin. “Besides, he’s like putty when it comes to you. Just give him your best puppy eyes and we’re not guilty on all charges.”

Putty..? Really..? Lucifer..? How strict was he before MC got there... they wondered.

“Sh! He’s coming!” Satan stuck his nose into a random book, it was the Oxford English Dictionary... and it was upside down.

Belphie pretended to pass out and MC decided that the best course of action was to stare deeply into their cat’s eyes. Yeah... that looked casual and not weird.

“Satan, MC, Belphie.” Lucifer nodded to the three of them as he walked towards the entrance to his study.

“Lucifer.”

“Afternoon, father.”

Belphie let out a cartoonishly loud fake snore that nearly caused both MC and Satan to break cover and start laughing.

Side note, Bean had adorable widdle eyes! That cute little face was just to die for-

“You three..!”

Belphie, Satan, and MC peeked their heads into Lucifer’s study, their handiwork was perfect. Everything was covered in red post it notes. Perfectly not harmful, but SO inconvenient!

“You’re all cleaning this up or so help me-”

“GO!” Belphie and Satan each grabbed one of MC’s arms (Satan also grabbed Bean) and sprinted out of the House of Lamentation. Maybe they’d move back there in twenty years... they hoped that Solomon and The Angels would let them crash at Purgatory Hall...

Belphie had used up his physical energy supply for the next four years. He passed out the moment they stepped into sanctuary. Time for a nap...

Flight practice? Ha. Belphie’s napping. Though, he was suspiciously awake and filming whenever MC did something stupid.

“Try not to suck so bad.”

“GO TO HELL BELPHIE!”

“I’m already there. Hell is every second I’m stuck here watching you fail.”

“YOU’RE GOING TO GET IT FOR THAT!”

Well... MC mastered the dive bomb that day. Lucifer bought them a cake.

Bonus! Your Dad’s New Husband! That Has Managed to Somehow Make Everyone Hate Him Despite the Fact That He’s A Cinnamon Roll. (Diavolo)

A mini Lucifer? A mini Lucifer!

Diavolo dotes on MC like he’d dote on his own kid. MC wants a crown? They’re getting a crown! A damn nice one too! MC wants a title? Here! MC is now... idk Ruler of the area between Majolish and Hell’s Kitchen.

Poor Uncle Mammon’s got some financial insecurity, he’s still the cool uncle... right?!

He is very much that ‘how do you do fellow kids?’ Meme.

He tries to do stereotypical ‘dad’ things but he’s not very good at them. Once he tried to host a barbecue...

Barbatos saved the day, but Mammon’s hair was still singed, Solomon’s cooking still gave Beel food poisoning (SOLOMON EATS TOXIC WASTE I SWEAR-), Luke still got hit in the face with a frisbee, and Simeon got an unhealthy dose of DAD NERVES and got so stressed everyone was almost blinded by the holy light he suddenly started blasting. We do not mention the water guns.

(Seriously whose bright idea was it to give Belphie and Satan water guns while they were in Lucifer’s presence?)

Praise Barbie. He’s too good for them.

“Um...” MC awkwardly held up the baseball, trying to look at it from all angles like it was a completely alien object. “Lord Diavolo... are you sure you want to play catch?”

Diavolo clapped his hands and bounced on the balls of his feet. “Yes! It’s a thing human fathers do with their children, correct? We must make up for lost time between you and Lucifer, right?”

Lucifer massaged his temples and nodded. “If you two would like to play catch...” Lucifer grimaced. “I will too.”

“Okay! MC, throw the ball to Lucifer!” Diavolo instructed.

Lucifer half heartedly held up his baseball glove as MC tossed him the ball. He caught it, and looked over at Diavolo, who was applauding like he just witnessed the greatest feat in sports history.

“Okay! Throw it to me!” Diavolo waved his glove in the air, Lucifer rolled his eyes and smiled. He threw the ball at Diavolo with... a lot of force. Enough force to probably dent steel... Diavolo caught it like it was nothing.

MC suddenly feared for their safety.

“Okay MC, catch!”

Diavolo threw the ball with enough force to break the god damn sound barrier. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but the ball sailed way over MC’s head and crashed right through a window.

“Oh my...” Diavolo put a hand on his hip and surveyed the damage to the window. “This isn’t so bad, I believe in human world TV shows this happens quite often. Look! The glass broke in a perfect circle!”

“Yay... property damage...” MC murmured.

Lucifer sighed and pulled out his DDD. “I’ll phone someone to replace the win-”

“Lucifer no! Now according to human world customs we must,” Diavolo took a deep breath, rushed forward, grabbed both Lucifer and MC’s hands and started sprinting away from the Demon Lord’s Castle. “RUN FOR IT!”

“Di- Diavolo!” Lucifer gasped.

“Who are we running from?! That’s your castle!” MC squeaked.

“I don’t know! Just run! That’s what the human TV show says to do!”

Weirdly enough, Diavolo was the best flight instructor. MC’s ability to fly increased tenfold after Diavolo found out that MC was learning to fly.

“You’re doing amazing MC! That was a perfect turn!”

“Thanks Lord Diavolo, I’m surprised I haven’t crashed into anyone or fallen yet!”

“Well, I highly doubt you’ll be crashing into anyone anymore, your flying is practically perfect now!”

Mammon proceeded to fly past them holding what looked like Lucifer’s wallet.

“M-mammon?!”

“Oh... I wonder what he’s doing. Look, MC! It’s Lucifer! Hello Lucifer dea-”

Lucifer ended up colliding with the two of them and sending them all crashing to the floor.

That was the last time MC fell during flying practice.

(We currently have a Go Fund Me set up for Mammon to get the funds necessary to flee the Devildom after that incident. Please donate to save- oh shit hi Lucifer-)

[doctorofmagic]

No Way Home Review By A Strange Stan‘s POV

Spoilers under the cut

WHAT A MOVIE, MY FRIENDS, WHAT A MOVIE!!!

Before we start, I just wanted to say that I hate, HATE, the person who edited the trailer. You can rot in Mephisto’s realm and no one, not even Stephen, will save you. You baited me into believing Stephen would go against Wong, that he’d be the one to mess up the spell, that he’d be cold and uncaring. YOU BINCH, YOU DARE PLAY WITH MY HEART LIKE THIS? I had to endure Wendy stans for weeks ughhh.

Okay, now back to the real deal. I’m not focusing that much on Peter(s) because this is a Stephen blog, but rest assured, I’ve never screamed so much in a theater before. Fanservice at its finest *chef’s kiss*

First thing that I loved is how Wong and Stephen are still keep bickering at each other married even though Stephen was blipped. And speaking of which, I also love the fact that Wong, THAT’S RIGHT, WONG IS THE SORCERER SUPREME, AS HE SHOULD BE!!! I just think he deserves more than Stephen when it comes to the MCU, ngl. And this is also important for representation so let’s keep it this way, shall we? It doesn’t change a thing for Stephen, he’ll still be the sassiest and more depressed one, as he should.

Next, Stephen totally asks permission to Wong to perform the spell. AND WONG JUST MELTS TO HIS PUPPY EYES AND SAYS “Okay, fine,” BEFORE LEAVING. HE’S SO AOHDOHFEWOG I LOVE THIS BASTARD SO MUCH. And then he winks, VERY DIFFERENT FROM THAT THE TRAILER SOLD US, I’LL INSIST ON THIS MATTER BECAUSE I’M OUTRAGED.

Another important thing is the fact that Stephen did nothing wrong. He had Wong’s permission (Sorcerer Supreme),  AND he was performing the spell correctly until Peter interrupted him and tampered with the spell SIX (five) TIMES. He did what he could to prevent the spell from collapsing reality but of course there would be side effects. It’s magic, after all. I do not blame Stephen for being mad at Peter, he even realizes Peter is still a teenager and has much to learn, but he’s right. I’m sorry, MJ, I love you, but that was not on him. And I still don’t like the “Scooby-Doo this shit”, it feels so OOC lmao. But okay, fine.

Now, one thing that made me a little.... wary and iffy is how Stephen didn’t give Peter a shot at trying and changing the Sinister Six (Five?). 616 Stephen would totally agree with Peter on this matter because he believes in people’s inherent good. Hell, he has been given a second chance, it’s too much of arrogance and lack of empathy to believe others can’t have that too. Also completely convenient how Stephen loses the battle to “science” when it’s ALWAYS the other way around haha. I didn’t catch how he remained trapped in the mirror dimension for twelve hours if he could, you know, get rid of the webs and teleport back even without the ring? But I don’t mind that because it was important to bring TOBEY FUCKING MAGUIRE AND ANDREW FUCKING GARFIELD to the movie, so I pretend I do not see it.

And speaking of which... I don’t mind Ned learning magic that easily at all. Many magic users are more intimate with magic than others. Also, the most important thing to perform magic is to believe. That plot in Fantastic Four v1 #500-501 is amazing to show how Reed, a man whose most fundamental trait is his love for science, can learn magic in a day if he truly believes in it. Besides, Ned’s magic is not perfect, for he accidentally brings the “wrong” Peters to their universe. I’d love to see Ned as a magic user, ngl.

When Stephen finally rejoins the drama, the multiverse is collapsing. Can I just say how heartbroken he looks when the sky is cracking? And then, when Peter asks him to erase everyone’s memories, you can just see in his eyes that he’ll miss Peter. When he says “we” instead of “they”, it means that he also cares for Peter. He almost ruined his eyeliner there with a tear, I could tell heh (beautiful makeup btw, I need more. Make it more evident please?)

And lastly.... THE LEAKED TRAILER WAS ACTUALLY THE LAST SECOND CREDIT SCENE AFTER ALL. I already watched it and ngl, the leaks I read are turning more and more real. Something went haywire with the spell, OR it’s all planned. I’m still cautious with the movie because 1) too many characters and 2) fuck Sam Raimi, but the trailer brings a little bit of relief. AND GODS, Y’ALL KNOW I DON’T SIMP FOR BENEDICT BUT HE’S SO DADDY AND STEPHEN IN THAT TRAILER, WHAT THE HELL. Also, if the leaks are real, I’ll be SO satisfied. And oh, that’s right. EVIL STEPHEN!!! I mean, he didn’t sound as the What If? version of him, he was kinda scarier and creepier? But maybe it’s just the trailer baiting me again for I know he won’t be the main villain.

But hey, Rintrah confirmed! And hopefully Clea as well. Some of the other toys, by the way, are not part of the movie, like Sleepwalker and D’yspayre. Shuma-Gorath is confirmed, tho. And if you ask me if I understood the plot... I’ll answer: NO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON. Christine getting married finally gives me room to breathe. I mean, she still could become Clea, but then she wouldn’t be Stephen’s love interest, unless they go for “sudden realization I love him more than my actual husband”, which will make me SO SO SO enraged. Just let them be two different characters, please? I can’t talk about Mordo without spoilers within spoilers so I’ll keep that to myself. Same goes for Wanda.

Lastly, imagine feeling like the ultimate clown for believing Stephen was Mephisto HHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU’RE ALL SO OUT OF YOUR LEAGUES, PLEASE. Perhaps allow the actual fans to elaborate theories next time? The embarrassment will not be that overwhelming, I assure you. #notmystephenmyass

PS: I’d love love love to talk more about the Peters and the Sinister Six, honestly. I’ve always believed Otto would still be alive somehow when I was a kid, and against all the odds my dream came true? I’ve always manifested the F4 to go back to Marvel as well so they could have a decent movie and honestly, after this experience, I trust the director. The emotional burden Holland’s Peter has been through in this movie is just SO on point. I cried with him, and I cried with Andrew’s and Tobey’s. And speaking of Andrew, I was just SO happy for him. You could see the bright in his eyes, and that cannot be faked. He was genuinely so happy for being there and he has all my support and love. Also they actually used the Sinister Six in a way that you could see character’s development, especially Otto and Norman. Max was a delight as well, and the little tease about Miles Morales made everyone in the theater scream, me included. Only thing is, I’ll definitely have to watch Venom now because I haven’t yet lmao.

AND HOW COULD I FORGET? MY BELOVED MATTHEW MURDOCK, MY SWEETEST LITTLE MEOW MEOW, PART OF THE MCU??? I just feel Punisher will be around after that. The Midnight Sons project is slowly taking shape. Blade, MK, Ghost Rider, I need y’all to manifest!!

And that’s it. I just really loved this movie and I’m so grateful Stephen is there to be part of this incredible experience, and he’s on point too! Not the best Stephen’s characterization in the world but it’s decent, it’s valid. Top 5 easy!! I’ll definitely rewatch it asap to catch more details and easter eggs, for sure!!