#to sing and to miss notes and to make bad jokes and to eat good food

[ikigaisvt]

rewatched in the soop 2 and now i have the its song stuck in my head... also restarting in the soop 1 :D life is fun fun fun

[inkskinned]

i. there's this video of a guy dancing on his tiptoes. i will begrudgingly admit the song is kind of catchy actually. i don't think it's the worst song i've ever heard. he seems passionate about it. but it is embarrassing, how he's dancing.

ii. you know where this story is going, unfortunately, and so do i.

iii. three weeks ago i had to drag half a dead rabbit out of my dog's mouth. i was just recently discussing how cruel things feel lately. that the way the world is shifting feels mean. three days ago, a random woman rolled down her window to snap at me because she missed her turn. this is now routine.

iv. 11 years ago in october, i made a post about how we shouldn't make fun of people for doing brave, vulnerable things. it has over 400k notes. people - at the time - seemed to generally agree with me. we have all felt shy and insecure when we share an intimate part of ourselves. we have heard someone at a concert say "that's fucking embarrassing" and said to ourselves - oh, this person is unsafe to be vulnerable in front of. we have said i can't act like that in public. we have left our art and passion in the dark. i think there will never be enough graveyard space for the art we have killed because what if others shame me for it.

v. the thing i was bullied for in high school was because i was a "predatory lesbian." a popular girl i'd literally never spoken to just decided she didn't like me and announced i was "stalking" her. to this day i have no idea what motivated this - i think i was just shy and poor and awkward and ugly. the perfect target. what they don't really ever show in movies is how quickly it moves, how suddenly strange people in the hallways are attacking you about it. they also don't show you that the bullies get this strange ... glee out of it. like, it's fun for them. it's enrichment. everyone else is in on the joke. suck it up, kid.

vi. so far, from what i have seen, creators that stand up for the musician all seem to have the same story: when i asked why we're bullying a random guy, people actually got mad that i asked. i've had similar things happen to me when i ask for us to be less comfortable with our anonymous cruelty. when an internet stranger says "be kind, it saves lives" - people find it funny to say fuck you i hope everyone kills themselves. pages and pages of people saying the same bullshit. sitting in their little caves, eating their own humor. it's just genuinely exhausting. the natural endpoint of "cringe culture" is that even kindness is cringe-worthy.

vii. loneliness is an epidemic. but where are you going to make your community? call your representative. go back to bed about it.

viii. due to how i was raised, i am always confused by cruelty. i understand the american isolationist belief "i can do whatever i want" - sure. but why wouldn't you want to be kind? i have lived too many bad things. i cannot be the epicenter of someone else's bad dream.

ix. it's just that if we were going to bully someone relentlessly, why is it never the healthcare CEOs. why isn't it the fascists. why isn't it, like, someone who you could at least argue "deserves" it. why is it always just some guy in socks singing a pretty mid song? or a person that doesn't look like you, just, like existing.

x. it's just that i think people enjoy doing it. they want to do it because they get some kind of masturbatory release from it - like a shrug or a splinter, they all seem to say the same thing - come on, it's funny.

xi. the world is sometimes beautiful, and sometimes you make something. the world is sometimes terrible, and you are worried they won't accept what your hands can wring. you open the instagram comments and they're still saying all sorts of shit to just - like - a normal guy. and some part of you thinks: if that was me. good lord. if that was me i'd -

xii. somewhere there is a graveyard. someone is already burying their hopes and dreams.

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ under your roof ]❜

ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel

╰₊✧ your baby daughter really likes uncle wade’s roommate, and logan would be lying if he said he didn’t form a quick attachment to the two of you as well┊2.9k words; prt two

setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: probably occ logan, he’s on his best behavior, mostly fluff with a little side of angst, single mother reader with an unspecified age, this chapter is mainly between logan & your daughter, reader has a bad relationship with the father & he’s an asshole, one joking threat of stabbing

➤ author's note: this was so much fun to write! single mom reader and her daughter are so lovely and i have two more part featuring these two and logan coming up! i hope you guys enjoy

kids don’t like logan. it’s not a profound discovery nor is it a surprise to anyone who learns this fact. he’s intimidating enough to make some full-grown men piss themselves with so much as a glare, much less little babies who start sobbing uncontrollably when they see a giant scary man walking around believing that he would eat them or something even though he’s literally just standing there. whether the little ones have an instinct that signals him out as a mutant or he simply looks like a bad man from one of their fairy tales, he isn’t sure, but it’s not the best feeling either way when he’s trying to settle back into normal life with the constant weight of knowing that he’ll never fit in.

it doesn’t help that, in general, he isn’t good with kids either. he’s generally patient with their immaturity since they don’t know any better, but he finds the crying and whining extremely headache-inducing to his sensitive senses without a clue how to calm them down.

moving in with wade and acquainting himself with his friends was a start, but the missing part of his life to make him finally feel loved and at home was the family of two who lived downstairs. the first time he met you was also the first time he met your daughter when wade told him to dress a little nicer because the two of them were invited to your place for dinner. he explained that the two of you were practically siblings and that it would probably be something he should get used to, reminding him to “turn that frown upside down” because he was about to meet someone who “puts gordon ramsey to shame.”

the last bit sounded great to him, especially because no one in their household knew how to make anything more complicated than noodles without setting it on fire and the cost of outside food was really starting to tally up. still, he just wore some cargo pants and threw on a leather jacket, running his fingers through his hair once which was already a lot more effort than he’s ever put into meeting anyone else before.

wade didn’t even bother knocking, just being himself and picking the lock as he so typically does, kicking the door open and yelling a loud ass “daddy’s home!” which echoed throughout the apartment as well as the hallway they were standing in. the mouth-watering smell of grilled salmon filled the air, making wade hum in excitement, “do you need help with anything? taste testing, perhaps?”

“no, do me a favor and stay away from the kitchen!” your voice rang out loud and clear, sounding much like a mother scolding a teenager for the thousandth time. “i’ll stab you, do me a favor and just hang out in the living room.”

“okie-dokie!” he responded in an annoying sing-song voice, “come on, peanut, take off your shoes.” the said man could already tell how at home his roommate seemed in this place, just as comfortable as he was back home, walking with steps he’s taken many times before and prompting logan to do the same (except he was mainly keeping to himself and being much more mild-mannered in this unfamiliar area).

the place was as spacious as the small area could be and tastefully decorated, but all sharp corners of furniture were taped over to dull the edges and the carpet had multiple kinds of colorful toys littered about. in the center of it all, was a little toddler about two or three years old, playing with a kitchen set and trying to copy what her mom was doing by running back and forth between the living room and the kitchen. she didn’t even notice the two men at first, not until wade called out her name and she dropped the plastic utensils to clap her hands together before waddling over to him.

“hey, baby! how are you doing? did you miss me?” he cooed in the high-pitched voice reserved only for mary puppins, reaching down to pick up the girl by her underarms and kissing her cheek, spinning around with her in his arms as she giggled uncontrollably. “do you wanna meet the big scary wolverine while i go bother your mommy? who am i kidding, of course you do!” he then dropped her onto the couch, making sure that she didn’t bounce up too high on the cushion and hurt herself. “okay, you keep her company while i go see what’s for dessert— bye!”

before logan could say anything, he was already gone, disappearing around the corner into the sound of sizzling foods and the scent of herbs. pursing his lips together and shuffling his feet around for a second, he grunted and braced himself for the child to start sobbing uncontrollably because she was left alone with him. the first time he meets you, whom he’s heard so many good things about, is going to be when you have to kick him out with his tail in between his legs for disturbing the peace of your home.

but the cries never came, and his eyes met her big curious ones as she just stared up at him in silence. it was honestly a tad bit unnerving like she was sizing him up and carefully thinking about her next move. 

and then she started giggling like earlier, kind of a more gurgling noise of playfulness more than anything, standing at his feet and waving around her short outstretched arms to signal that she wanted uppies from him.

“oh no—“ he’s not sure why he even let out a word or protest to begin with when he knew she wouldn’t listen, but it was pure instinct since, once again, he had no idea how to handle children. although she would probably also start crying if he didn’t listen to her, so he reluctantly bent down to pick her up, holding her close to the side of his chest and nervously awaiting her next move.

she was motionless for a minute with a little hand on her chubby cheek and the other trying to clutch onto the thick leather of his jacket, eyes darting around like she was seeing the world from a new perspective for the first time even though he was a hundred percent certain wade held her like his when they are the same height.

“kitty!”

“what?”

she pointed at the top of his head, his hair tuffs specifically, and reached out to pull on one of them curiously.

“no— not a kitty!” he’s never going to escape that fucking nickname, he wouldn’t be surprised if his roommate taught her to say that before she met him in person, able to perfectly envision wade crouching in front of her with a stupid picture of him on his phone and training her to say “kitty” every time she saw his photo by rewarding her with candy or something since there is no way she associated someone who looks like him to a kitten so quickly unironically.

“no kitty?”

“no— logan, lo-gan.”

she tried to pronounce his name a few times before giving up after getting stuck in the second syllable, blowing a raspberry and going back to what she was doing earlier— finding the most fun in tugging on his cowlicks like she was trying to figure out if he naturally woke up like that with the inability to brush them down or styled them with gel every day.

he sat down on the couch, the cushion sinking under his heavyweight, and sat your daughter down on his lap instead, except she didn’t want to sit down. standing on his lap and pressing her little feet into his thighs, she began to climb onto his shoulder like he was a jungle gym, using his arms as stepping stones to reach her destination while he bent over at the waist to allow her to crawl onto his back without falling behind him.

“you’re like a little lemur,” he muttered, still in slight shock that this kid seemed to like him and wasn’t freaking out like he was the big bad wolf. he wouldn’t admit it, but it was a really nice feeling that gave him a sense of normalcy like he was just some guy rather than the killing machine mutant most knew him as. she wouldn’t stop giggling and holding onto him, which made him feel his ice-cold heart melting like snow by spring’s first touch. 

all the while, he could hear you and wade chatting away in the background: something about him needing to step away from the stove, how you needed to trust him because him starting “that fire” was a one-time thing, what was for dessert, and then taking a sharp turn when the conversation suddenly shifted to the topic of the father.

he felt somewhat guilty about listening in, but he knew that deadpool was going to tell him eventually, so there wasn’t really any harm in a bit of eavesdropping (besides, it would have been difficult to ignore considering that your baby was being very well-behaved and his hearing wouldn’t have been able to pick up on anything else.)

“so… any news about her dad?” the solemn tone of a man who was hardly ever serious a day of his life was more terrifying than anything he’d ever witnessed in his long life.

“... he suddenly wants to be a family man, i guess…”

“what the hell does that even mean?”

the sound of a knife chopping vegetables against a wooden surface slowly came to a stop followed by a sigh. “like he wants to have a family… just not with the one he already started… he’s busy planning his wedding with the girl he cheated on me with and told me not to contact him again for any reason.”

“oh my god, what an asshole! fuck that guy!”

“i can’t believe that was the guy i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with, could you imagine? i don’t even know what i could have done wrong for him to be like this— i asked him so many times and he just said that he’s ‘fallen out of love,’ has ‘moved on,’ and that i would ‘be cruel’ to ask him to stay even if it was for the sake of our child…”

“well if it’s any comfort, he would have been on the next episode of forensic files the second i got a moment alone with him— i mean, the last time we saw him, he literally pushed his own daughter away when she tried to hug him! what kind of sociopath wouldn’t adore such a cutie patootie, especially his own flesh and blood?! ”

“it’s fine,” you hissed, gritting your teeth at the memory. “it’s not like he’s done anything to deserve getting to be called a father to an angel anyway, i’ll take care of her myself— wait… didn’t i also invite your new roommate? did he not come?”

“no, he’s in the living room, he’s been here this entire time,” he informed, taking a bite out of an apple like an asshole from a film.

“and you didn’t tell me?!!!” you quickly ran into the said area, finding logan and your daughter together on the couch. “hi! oh, i’m so sorry i didn’t come to greet you properly— and left my daughter for you to look after too— god, i’m just a terrible host!” you tilted your head, “what’s your name?”

he then realized he was staring which was rather impolite, mouth slightly agape too like a fish out of water which left a few seconds of awkward silence in between. “i-i’m logan,” he managed to sputter, “nice to meet you..”

wade raised a nonexistent eyebrow at his strange mannerisms before a wide, shit-eating grin split his face. 

“aww, baby, why are you bothering this poor old man— come to mommy, it’s dinnertime,” you clapped your hands and held them out fully expecting her to reach out and grab onto you as she usually does, but instead she looked up at you with big pleading eyes and held onto him even more tightly like a koala clinging to a branch. “oh, did you get attached already? you really are my daughter… logan, could you do me a favor and put her in her high chair while i plate everything?”

“yes, of course.”

you turned back into the kitchen, leaving the two men to follow with one holding your baby in his arms. all it took was one look to understand what he was thinking, logan didn’t need to be a telepath to know. 

“if you don’t shut the fuck up—”

“i didn’t even say anything!”

“good, keep it that way.”

love at first sight, wade has seen it plenty of times and understands it well, something so unpredictable and powerful, that it could bring the wolverine down on his knees. it’s even more potent when he trips over himself seeing you in your natural environment instead of all dressed up for a first date, slightly sweaty from the heat radiating off the stove, unkempt hair sticking to the sides of your face, no makeup or defenses up— just you as yourself to the core.

“alright, bub, let's get you seated…” it took a few tries to get her in because she refused to align her little legs into the holes of the plastic piece, but she eventually got into it just fine and he pulled up his own chair to watch you place a one of the most decadent plates of pasta with chunks of salmon he’s ever seen in front of him with a word of gratitude. 

“sorry it isn’t anything special, i completely forgot that i arranged this in the first place….”

“oh, no, it’s perfect—”

“you’re damn right ‘it’s perfect!’” wade interjected, “lemme tell you, wolvie, this simple plate of pasta is better than sex, i know damn well you’ve never tasted anything like it in all your two-hundred years!”

“well, now that you say it like that, he’s going to have high expectations and it will taste like ass compared to the actual best pasta dish he’s ever had.”

“he likes ass, don’t worry—”

the said man cleared his throat to steer the conversation back around, feeling the foreign sensation of embarrassment burning his face hit him at full force. “it’s delicious, thank you, truly the best i’ve ever tasted.”

“aw, you don’t have to say that.”

“no, he’s right, i think you really outdid yourself this time!”

the dinner was carried by cheerful conversations and fun stories, and despite just meeting you today, logan almost felt like he knew you for years and this was something a commonplace tradition between loved ones which was something he’s been yearning for for as long as he can remember. as he watches you laugh and feed your adorable baby, he can’t help but wonder about the idiotic man who was willing to throw away something so wonderful— something which would complete his life and fill the void in his heart.

“well, you two can hang around while i clean her up and put her to bed. there’s some wine and beer in—” you watched as deadpool had already opened your fridge and was digging around like a raccoon in trash before fishing out two bottles of beers and closing the door with his hips. “alrighty then, i’ll join you two in a bit.”

he watched as you disappeared into the hallway before diving headfirst into the couch next to the wolverine and handing him his beer, kicking his feet and smiling as if he was a middle-schooler at an all girls’ sleepover. “okay, so she has a solid job as an accountant, has her own place and car, is funny and pretty, but most importantly for you, single. she doesn’t like flowers as gifts, but if you gift her groceries or cleaning supplies—”

“she wouldn’t want an asshole like me,” he grunted, taking a sip from the bottle. “not when she just got free from another one.”

“peanut, i met the other guy, you’re infinitely better than him! as much as i would like to keep you to myself, i have already planned out my speech at your wedding as your best man, so just keep in mind that i’m your wingman, okay? don’t lie to me either, i know you have a little crush, and i think she does too—”

“no, she doesn’t.”

“quit cutting me off, you motherfucker!”

it was easier to try and suppress the sprouting seed of infatuation before it bloomed out of control. he didn’t want to hurt you or himself by chasing something that shouldn’t be in the first place. you deserve better, you and your daughter. you both should have someone who was younger and had the energy to be a good father and husband, not some old mutant who was freeloading off of his roommate and terrified of losing more people he cared about. if you knew about the blood on his hands and the claws embedded in them, you would probably be worried that you allowed him to hold your baby and shun him permanently. 

and yet he was already attached, sitting here imagining domestic life where he could see her grow up through the phases of life and help her navigate its complexities while also waking up next to you in his arms and seeing your beautiful smile everyday. 

maybe he won’t let that glimmer of hope die out and just hold onto it for a little while longer, allowing it to leave a little lingering smile on his weary face.

[phaelinverse]

XIKERS HEADCANONS...

...if they are your boyfriend, maknae line version. Hyung line version here (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

A/N :; I do not speak English as is not my main language. So I am sorry in advance about my bad grammar, I am doing my best to write as clear as I can.

Junghoon

❞· He would not talk a lot but would definitely use physical touch as a love language.

❞· I think that he may be shy to propose things such as dates.

❞· He would occasionally give a bouquet of flowers for you.

❞· At home, Junghoon would act a bit goofy around you and try to make you laugh often.

❞· I think that he may be capable to command a pillow with your face print on it, just to make sure you're always with him even when he has a world tour to do. It goes the same, with him too, just to be sure you wouldn't miss him too much.

Seeun

❞· Definitely a teaser. Seeun would love to tease a lot, like really a lot.

❞· He wouldn't hesitate to spoil you tho.

❞· I think tho, he might admire but not in the daytime but in the nighttime, when you fell asleep before him and he notices that you're already asleep. (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

❞· Wouldn't want to let you go easily. Seeun cannot be without you, you're his star like his you're sunshine. (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）

❞· He make a lot of jokes and kisses when you're feeling down.

Yujun

❞· Yujun would definitely love date at the park for picnicking there with you. (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

❞· He would love matching clothes too, mostly matching pyjamas, he find it so cute.

❞· He absolutely loves when you're wearing his shirt, he find it so cute on you. ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

❞· Yujun would definitely left you some notes around the house to let you remember that he loves you, that he's always by your side and that you can always talk/text him when there's something wrong.

❞· He would always hide occasionally gifts for you that you have to find it with help of some hints around the house.

Hunter

❞· I don't know why, but I think that Hunter may be the type of boyfriend to write a little poem for you occasionally.

❞· He would most probably cook you good meals for you instead of you cooking.

❞· He would really like to make a lot of dates with you to just be you both together with no one to bother you.

❞· I think, Hunter may eventually sing you a little song to lure you to sleep. (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

❞· Or maybe even read you something. (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

Yechan

❞· Obviously jealous but won't admit. He just don't like having you hanging with other guy that him, he hate that because he's too scared to lose you. ʕ⁠ ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ

❞· At home, he always act teasingly and childish and when you make a remark about it, he become all pouty and you find it cute so you tease him with that which he deny it but secretly love having you teasing him.

❞· He try to cook meal for you to make you happy, even if most of the time it's not perfect, you always eat the entire plate to make him happy.

❞· He loves when you wear his shirt but won't tell it out of embarrassment.

❞· Yechan always wear a necklace that you made for him. (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

︾………❛

And done! I hope you like the maknae line version ! The hyung line is probably out!! (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

[snowangeldotmp3]

mean girls (2024)

fine. FINE. it is time to discuss mean girls (2024) bc i can't stop thinking about it and i had a severe mean girls the musical phase in 2018 and 2020 two separate times. and also i took notes watching the movie last night. so now you are all subject to hearing them. spoilers, obvi. (under the cut, of course)

i think it should be noted here that i also have Thoughts and Feelings on the bway musical. so if anyone wants to know those... moving on.

it's a movie-musical adapted from the stage musical adapted from the 2004 movie adapted from a BOOK called Queen Bees and Wannabes released in 2002. now that that's out of the way:

the good:

the sets are so much fun in the movie. the musical is like. a few desks and tables and a bed that all move and then. screens. i missed real sets. so much

opening the musical with janis and damien recording the video in the garage and having their narration work like that worked sooooo well. and then of course ending in the garage was very fun.

speaking of janis and damien, these are my favorite versions of janis and damien. auli'i and jaquel KILL IT as janis and damien.

angourie's cady (acting-wise) is really good. really cute and naïve and it feels authentic as a transition from new kid cady to plastic cady.

i also don't mind the changes to apex predator. i think auli'i and jaquel killed it and i think it works! i like the choreo too where everyone is acting animalistic (re: this is Girl World in the og movie) except regina.

avantika and bebe wood are also really great as gretchen and karen. this might be my favorite version of karen. ily karen shetty.

LOVE this version of someone gets hurt. i love regina controlling the atmospehere around her and literally becoming the apex predator. the partygoers don't move unless she allows it, and even planning cady's reaction (which is. gayer than expected) is so good.

CONTROVERSIAL TAKE? i prefer the story behind the pyro-lez thing. i never liked the space dyke story in the musical and i thought it was weird (though i prefer them calling her a space dyke because it's supposed to be mean. ya know)

im saving this for this bullet point bc every other bullet point would've been about but i've been a fan of renee's regina for forever now, so being able to see it outside of broadway and outside of shaky bootlegs is a blessing.

after regina eats shit at the talent show, during the social media montage, you can briefly hear the intrumental version of world burn, and i think thats cool.

SOMEONE GETS HURT (REPRISE) you will always be famous. i am so sorry they didn't put you on the soundtrack

damien on the jazzy will forever be funny. it's better than the og movie. i will stand by this.

also the background/looming beat of world burn like a second after janis gets done singing + the looming threat of regina's revenge is very cool.

OH world burn is very awesome in this bc. duh. of course it is. but what really stands out to me is that it's like apex predator again where everyone is acting like animals and reginas above it all (bc she did this lmao). another thing is the transition between one of the high notes to regina fake crying in mr duvalls office. that was so slay.

the reginald joke is my fave in the whole musical and im so glad they kept it. it makes me giggle every time.

canon lesbian janis imi'ike i love you.

the bad:

i miss all of the songs. give me back It Roars, Where Do You Belong, the entirety of Meet the Plastics, the What's Wrong with Me reprise, FEARLESS! and Whose House is This, More is Better, and Do This Thing!! GIVE THEM BACK TO ME!!! PLEASE!!! OH my god and Stop. jaquel would've blown this out of the water i just know it.

i miss the jokes about mrs george and her boob job. that shit was hilarious.

i don't care for cady's pov in revenge party in this one. those who have seen it Know.

i also miss the "NO! THEY'RE BOTH IN THE COSTUME!" that shit killed me. absolutely hilarious.

the musical (bway edition) actually did cut some of the iconic scenes from the movie, but i think this movie would've benefitted from adding them back in. give me the "we should totally just stab caesar!" line.

i hate Rockin Around The Pole. so fucking much. i hate it in the broadway version and i hated it in this. i hate this song so fucking much.

chris briney. that's all. he's got about as much personality as a wet piece of paper. get a different aaron.

even the broadway musical is like, actually mean. it still pales in comparison to the og movie. this movie could have done a little more to stand out from the actual musical and the og movie. idk. it could've said something. but if you walked into this movie and expected it to say something then that's on you. sorry.

this isn't something that needs to be categorized but i miss cady's inner monologue. it's very obvious in the movie but she's even got these cute little asides in the musical that i WISH they would've kept. like: "it seems kinda bad to spy on someone, but they're the first friends i've got, and i don't want to have none." is so much fun and gives cady so much character and i love it so much. erika henningsen is my favorite variation of cady. she's believable as both nerdy cady and plastic cady. also she's so, so funny. (honestly i think they should've brought her back for cady's songs in this musical. sawry. i don't think they should've replaced angourie bc i really like her cady But.)

another cute and quirky thing that i like from the musical that isn't in the movie (because it would be really hard to pull off) is that mrs heron/mrs george/mrs norbury are all played by the same actress.

anyway that's all i have to say about mean girls (2024). in my (completely unprofessional) opinion, they should've literally just adapted the actual musical script if they wanted to make this so bad. or released a pro-shot with renee as regina and this cast or something. they should've gone all out campy musical with this one instead of trying to market it as a remake bc it's not Really a remake. like it Is but it's Not.

if u read this whole thing thank you. if you saw this post and went "jesus christ" im sorry. i wish i could stop thinking about it, too.

[angelllbby222]

Conflicted: Pt.3 🎀

Maddy P.O.V

When I woke up I found some leftover cereal in a bowl and a few bottles of beer scattered around the place.

I went around the kitchen island and found a note attached to the fridge.

“Went to rehearsal with Iz. Be back soon sis.” Duff wrote.

I rolled my eyes and crumbled up the paper throwing it in the trash.

“What am I supposed to do all by myself!” I groaned looking around the quiet and empty apartment space.

I planned on waking up early and spending some time with Duff but I knew how important the band was to him and I wasn’t going to be a pain in the ass about it.

I just missed my brother which is why I wanted to be around Duff.

“DUFF OPEN UP. I’VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU ALL MORNING.” yelled a deep voice from outside.

I opened the door and was met with a fiery redhead who upon seeing my face softened his features and raised an eyebrow towards me.

Axl.

“Is Duff around?” he asked leaning an arm against the door frame and peeking around the apartment.

“I thought he was with you rehearsing? Izzy went with him too.” I told him.

“Those fuckers. I knew it.” he barked kicking his foot against the wall.

I jumped up a little at his sudden outburst and backed away from the door.

“Shit. Sorry Maddy I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s just, we’ve been trying to work on a new song but instead of including me they go by themselves because apparently I have anger issues and spaz out when things don’t go my way.” he huffed

Anger issues? That’s for sure…

“That sucks.” I muttered staring down at my feet kicking the air softly.

“You probably don’t get it. I don’t know why I even told you.” he laughed giving me a look.

“Okay well Duff isn’t here so you can leave.” I huffed angrily.

“Could I still come in?” he asked giving me puppy eyes.

“Fine.” I said letting him through to Duff’s apartment.

“So what’s a girl like you doing in L.A?” he asked looking me up and down.

It felt like everyone in L.A dressed glam and metal except for me.

Duff and I were from a small town in Seattle and I didn’t really catch the whole punk vibe being from there but instead I had my own style.

I was a girly girl but not in a shove it in your face type of way.

I believe everyone has their own unique style and people shouldn’t be shamed for having a different style than others.

“I’m here to see Duff and spend some time with him.” I told him handing him a glass of water which he generously gulped down.

“Hm. Well since Duff isn’t here maybe I could show you around?” he asked with a smirk.

“I’m not sure if Duff will like that.”

“Oh come on. I’m not a bad guy. I won’t try to hit on you or anything but I can’t keep a promise.” he joked winking at me.

Duff P.O.V

Izzy and I had left to practice some lyrics and come up with a catchy riff for our next song without anyone else or Axl.

I didn’t really have anything against anyone but it was more peaceful when Izzy and I were the only ones recording in the studio.

The rest just brought chaos with them especially Axl.

Every-time a certain part of the song wouldn’t go his way or he wasn’t feeling in good shape to sing he would just throw a tantrum and end up leaving an unfinished song for us to finish.

Which is why I convinced Izzy to wake up early and help me finish this song for our next album.

“Can we go home now. I’m hungry.” Izzy whined pulling out a new pack of cigarettes and lighting one up.

“Yeah man. Let’s get out of here. I hope Maddy made something to eat.” I said hearing my stomach grumble as we both exited the recording studio and headed towards my car.

“Oh shit. I forgot my hat. Wait here.” Izzy said rushing back in the studio.

I groaned and started to make my way towards my car when I heard a deep laugh and a giggle accompanying it.

“Axl. We should get back now.” the familiar voice echoed.

“Got it!” Izzy yelled coming out of the studio fairly quickly with his hat in the air.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw two heads whip in our direction and that’s when I saw Axl and my little sister practically holding hands with how close they were.

“Axl Rose you motherfucker.” I yelled.

Maddy P.O.V

Axl and I were walking down the same street that they would go to record music often.

“Axl are you sure we won’t run into them here? We should get home now anyways.” I told him worried that Duff would show up any minute now.

“Nah. Don’t worry. I doubt they’ll see us.” Axl said shrugging me off and walking ahead.

“Are you sure?” I asked again catching up to him.

He leaned in close so that our hands were practically touching about to tell me something when I heard….Izzy?

“I got it!” Izzy yelled.

And when I turned around I saw my brother standing by his car shooting Axl the meanest look I’ve ever seen on his face.

Fuck.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing so close to my little sis.” he yelled shoving Axl causing him to tumble over a trash can.

“Stop it Duff. He was just showing me around the city since you decided to ditch me with Izzy.” I yelled at him while helping Axl up.

I could see Izzy giving me looks from behind Duff not saying a word.

“Relax Mckagan. All I was doing was showing her a bit of L.A.” Axl groaned rolling his eyes at my brother.

“Yeah right. And then afterwards you were gonna take her to your bed. Isn’t that right Axl?” Duff retorted grabbing me by the arm and moving me away from Axl while accidentally shoving me right in front of Izzy.

“Duff I think you’re overreacting. Besides I’m with Erin and she’s the only girl for me.” he told my brother as they got into another argument completely ignoring Izzy and I.

“S-sorry.” I mumbled staring at my Mary Jane’s which were accompanied by frilly white socks in contrast to the dark black rocker boots Izzy wore.

“It’s fine.” he murmured putting his cigarette to his mouth and blowing out away from me.

Axl was a handsome guy. But for some reason I never felt shy or awkward when I was around him or any of the others except for Izzy.

He had that effect on me where I went dumb and didn’t know how to speak properly.

“Cute outfit.” he said with his iconic smirk tracing his eyes over my pink mini skirt and white top.

“Thanks.” I blushed looking away from him and towards the other duo that were busy talking each other’s ears off.

“So how was your date with Axl?” he asked nudging me lightly on the shoulder.

“It wasnt a date. He was just showing me around!” I protested turning back around to give him a stern look.

“Axl doesn’t just take girls to see L.A.”

“That must mean you have something or look like something he wants.” he joked looking at me with an eyebrow raised.

He took another long drag from his cigarette before dropping it on the floor and stepping on it, coming close to my ear.

“If I were you I’d be more careful near Axl.”

“Especially when you wear tiny clothes like these.” he whispered bringing his hand out to play with the mini skirt I was wearing.

“Izzy.” I breathed out but before I could get another word out my brother stopped me.

“Come on Maddy. We’re going back to the apartment.” he said leading the way for all 3 of us to follow.

[sweatandwoe]

SI Soulmates AU

@chickenparm​ and I, Me and Michealed in this chilis tonight. ATL SOULMATE AU HERE. GO READ IT. IT’S VERY GOOD!

Some AU content so I can try and get my brain to write more actual canon content for SI. HERE WE GO

Act 1!Silco/F!Reader Secret Ingredient!AU - Soulmates (The first thing you say to one another appears on your wrists.)

-

Silco is quite sure that he has the strangest Soul Words to have ever popped up on Runeterra. The words that his soulmate will first say to him. It was something so mundane, yet odd. “I thought you might be hungry.” Sprawled over his left wrist, that made his brow furrow and his fingers scratch at his head. 

The words carry an almost familiarity to them. But someone he had never spoken to? He supposed there were odder situations. It would be the first time they’d ever speak to one another. Impersonal was probably the more common way it happened, but most novels and plays seemed to make it out to be something romantic. 

It feels almost like the universe is mocking him. Like it had already happened so many times in his life. The betrayal of his brother, the destruction of his rebellion. One big joke that Piltover probably had never even heard about because it landed without any sort of hit. 

He keeps a band over the words to hide the ridiculousness of them and to keep them hidden. Soul Marks aren’t common, not in the Undercity, and he’d prefer if no one knew about it. So instead he makes sure the band is pretty, that it just looks decorative, matching his style. 

Silco doesn’t hide his eye or the scars, so no one should assume he’d hide anything else. 

Despite his attempts to ignore it though, it has a tendency to pop up or be reminded when he least expects it. Like today, as he left his lookout post after hours of waiting and watching on a particularly boring day; even the boss had to get his hands dirty. But as he climbed down the ladder along the side of the apartment building he’d been perching off of, he was almost startled by what he spotted at the ledge of a window next to the ladder. 

A plate, with a sandwich and a small note attached. On a ledge that was easily two stories above the ground. 

It was suspicious, the curtains were drawn over the window, so he couldn’t peer in. But whatever was in the sandwich smelled good, and when his fingers brushed the note next to it, there was still some warmth lingering from it. Still, he went for the note first, unfolding it carefully before running his eyes over it. 

Dear Man On The Roof,

I’ve been noticing you on the roof for the past week or so now. You’re there as I leave for work and as I come home. I doubt you take a lunch break, and I don’t like the thought of anyone going hungry. 

If I come back to an empty plate, I’ll be sure to make another for tomorrow. If it remains full, I may still make one tomorrow in case this one got missed. 

Best regards. 

It’s signed under a name he doesn’t recognize. Not someone that ran in his circles that was for sure. Or Vander’s at that. A quick glance at the sandwich and he can hear his stomach gurgle, it was true he hasn’t eaten for hours. 

When he picks it up it’s still warm in his hands still, as he lowers himself down the ladder until he reaches the ground again. And then he takes a bite, and it’s just as good as it smells. Enough that he devours the entire thing within a few moments, and walks back to the factory a little more satisfied than usual. 

He does make Singed watch over him for the next few hours, just in case anything bad was in there. But nothing had happened. Someone just being kind to him. 

For the next week Silco has a sandwich waiting for him, warm and on fresh bread, each time he climbs down at the end of his watch. At the end of the week, he’s almost startled to see the plate there again in the beginning. But today it holds a muffin, with only a small note of ‘you should be eating breakfast too’ on it. 

The next morning, he leaves a few coins on the ledge as he takes the muffin up to the roof with him. 

There is a note when he gets his sandwich at the end of the day. 

I don’t want your money. I just want you to be fed. 

He rolls his eyes, and places more coins on the ledge. Before turning the paper over, and grabbing a piece of charcoal from his pocket to messily scribble down. 

Take it. As a thank you. 

There’s two muffins the next day, and one of them is filled with chocolate. 

The routine continues for some time. And though he knows the other person is home, the curtains always remain drawn and there’s never more than a note, usually asking what kind of sandwich he’d like for tomorrow. He has no idea who they are.

 But there is a growing curiosity, to actually meet who it was. Who was the silent chef who kept trying to feed him out of the goodness of their heart? 

One time he tried to rap his knuckles against the window, tapping at the glass long enough that he realised he was probably being a fucking creep, and had left a little faster, tripping on the last step. 

Eventually he figures he should just ask, because curiosity has been burning into his brain. So he brings a note of his own, with only the words ‘Can I meet you?’ written on it. It’s silly, it’s stupid, he should not be thinking about it so hard. He’s half tempted just to throw the damn thing out, but he switches it out with the muffin on the plate, using a few coins to hold it down. 

There is no sandwich when he leaves that day, and he mentally begins to kick himself. He shouldn’t have pushed it. 

They had probably seen the scars at least, the apartment building wasn’t that tall. Or the glow of his left eye. Maybe coming face to face had been too much to ask. 

There’s no muffins the next morning either. And only a few hours later, when his stomach begins to rumble, he realises how used he had gotten to the mystery person feeding him. He’ll need to pack a lunch from now on. Something he should’ve been doing from the beginning, so he wouldn’t have ever needed to feel this hurt again. 

Lookout duty isn’t hard, but it is boring. He found himself sitting on the rooftop, watching the streets as his men worked. Often he’d find himself heading down onto the street, to help his men make an exchange or a deal before he’d head back up, in between probably when the mystery person was on shift. 

Today though, he is bored enough to keep an ear out too. Which is why he can hear the soft mumbling, and the sound of footsteps on the ladder. 

His knife is drawn, steady in his hands as he approaches the edge of the roof. When he peers over the ledge, down the ladder, he blinks. 

You were there, grumbling as you tried to balance a plate of two sandwiches. Whispering under your breath, as you climb, how you were not going to look down. So instead you look up, and squeak. 

Your eyes meet for the first time, and Silco suddenly realises something that makes his stomach flip; you’re beautiful. 

Gingerly a hand raises the plate above your head, and he understands enough to take it. Setting it down on the rooftop, the two sandwiches balanced carefully, before he’s offering you a hand. Easily helping you up, as your throat bobs when you settle in front of him. 

But your eyes aren’t widening with fear, so your swallow isn’t from that. Which does nothing to help how his stomach was flipping. 

And then you open your mouth. “I thought you might be hungry.” 

And Silco blinks. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out for a moment. His wrist is burning under his band. Your hands begin to fiddle with one another, but it’s when your lips part again to say something that he quickly manages to pull words together. “I’m just happy to meet you.” 

And then your eyes are widening. But then, a smile is growing on your face. You hold out your hand, sliding up your sleeve to expose your wrist as you do. He examines the same words that had just come from his mouth, with a small smile of his own. 

He removes his band and lets you trace over them. Then he gets your name finally. 

“Why did you stop yesterday?” He asks with a frown, as you both settle on the rooftop. There is barely a moment gone before he takes a bite of the sandwich, enjoying the flavour, and swallowing before he continues to speak. “I could’ve starved you know.” 

Your answer comes out of you easily, even if it’s accompanied by a little shy look. “I worked some extra hours yesterday, and went in earlier this morning. I wanted to be able to spend actual time with you, so you didn’t have to stay later than you already do.” 

Your answer has his heart already beating fast, beginning to feel already a soft warmth that starts in his wrist and spreads into his chest. Things he knows he’s allowed to feel because well, you’re the one for him. Or at least the universe has decided that you are. Though the longer he looks at you, and talks to you, maybe he and the universe can agree this time. 

[rommahh]

{Harry in sparkly black….Harry lemme **** *** *** for free}

You hadn’t talked to Harry all day. Not that you were mad at him or anything but your therapy this morning left you feeling a little spacey. There was something about talking about your emotions that left you feeling emotionally drained.

You missed Harry terribly and though it’s only been a short week, you felt very lonely. But on another note, your anxiety wasn’t as bad as it was. You were starting to feel like your normal self again but missing something.

You loved the tight knit life you have with Harry. You like being around him most hours of the day. You two were inseparable. If you were in the shower, he was in the bathroom reading a book from the lounger chair in the corner. If he was writing music on the beach, you were somewhere on the shore collecting shells. If you were going to the grocery store the least he could do was go for the drive with you. You two were close and it was something the both of you were ok with.

Some couples don’t like being so close but it worked for you and Harry. Being away from Harry was a weird experience. It’s only been a week but you feel like it’s been a lifetime. You haven’t minded being on your own but you wanted to be with the person you felt most connected to.

So being you, you purchased a ticket to Chicago. You didn’t know how Harry was going to react but you could only assume it would be a positive reaction. You told Jeff that you were coming so he could get you a hotel key and backstage pass.

As you sat in the airport you felt your back pocket buzz- your music pausing for the call. Your hand slipped into the pocket roughly pulling out the small phone. Harry’s icon, him in a fluffy robe looking as grumpy as ever, met your eyes. You cursed because you were quite obviously in the airport and if he saw you, the surprise would be ruined.

You answered anyways but only for audio. You made sure that your airpods were snug in you ear and there was no chance of them falling out.

“My lover!” Harry greets you a in sing song voice. You could hear his humph as he recognizes that you didn’t answer with the FaceTime video on. “Turn your camera on.”

“Can’t, I’m not feeling good.” You fib nervously. Harry frowned, nervous that he may have done something to upset you.

“Oh, alright. What’s wrong then?” He asks. You chew your lip trying to think of an answer.

“Uh, period.” You stammer.

“Your period doesn’t start for another few day…saw it on the tracker.” Harry may have your period tracker on his phone but it was because he wanted to make sure he was able to comfort you the best way he could when he needed to.

“Must be the meds-“ The sound of your boarding attendant sounded over your head cutting you off. “Hey bubs, I’ve actually got to go but we can’t chat later.”

“Sure, that’s fine I guess. Love you.” He mumbles, confused by the phone call. You hang up leaving Harry a little lost in his thoughts.

Later, Harry sang through his rehearsal carelessly, his head clouded with thoughts. He even sang through TBSL and though he was in the worst of moods, fans waiting at the venue thought he never sounded better.

You on the other hand had just sat through the worst flight of your life. There was a woman in the flight who didn’t want to wear her mask causing commotion before the flight could even take off. You had the worst headache halfway through the flight and because of the lack on supplies, the flight couldn’t give you any ginger ale or accommodations.

You didn’t let any of it get to you though as you directed for the chauffeur Jeff sent for you to go to the venue for show.

Harry sat in the common room backstage with the band and Jeff eating dinner grumpily. His fork was stabbing every little piece of lettuce of his salad, everyone watched worried that he may break his bowl.

“HS3 is trending on Twitter today, pretty exciting.” Jeff says to Harry breaking the silence. Jeff just received a text from you saying that you arrived to the venue and were walking towards Harry’s dressing room.

“Mmm great.” Harry grumbles. Jeff rolled his eyes at the diva.

“Someone’s a little pissy this evening. How about you go fix that mood before you greet your fans with a bad attitude.” Jeff scolds him like a child who just got caught doing something they shouldn’t have. Jeff really didn’t care about Harry’s attitude, used to the moods at this point, but he needed a way for Harry to leave the room and see you in the dressing room.

“Fine, didn’t want to be around anyways.” Harry shrugs.

Back in Harry’s dressing room, you rolled your suitcase into a corner where Harry’s outfit for the night resided on a hanger. You smiled at the sparkly black top that you helped pick out. You walked around his dressing room from the hair and makeup table, past the bathroom/ dressing area, and back around to the couch’s and coffee table where you took a seat. You snagged one of his green juices needing the boost of energy from being on the flight.

You heard the door knob jiggle but stayed planted in you seat sipping on the juice. You never made a peep as Harry barged through the room, scowl covering his face. He stormed past the couch not batting an eye at you. He went to the mini fridge where his juices were before letting an exasperated sigh.

“Who fucking took my juice?” He whines. You quietly giggle in your hand at his tone.

“Im sorry, thought I could have it.” You chuckle. Harry leaps from where he stands letting out a yell. He turns to look at you with wide eyes, hand over his chest as if his heart was going to explode from his chest. You stood from the couch waiting for him to react more but he just stood there in shock. When the realization of you actually being there kicked in he let out another yell before bounding over to you.

Before you knew it, you had two strong arms wrapped tightly around you. Your wrapped around his neck, hands and fingers spread through his hair. His face tucked into your lower neck peppering desperate kisses all over just to feel something.

“What are you doing here?” You hear him cry. You pulled away from him to wipe his eyes of the tears that streamed down his face.

“I needed to see you.” Was all you could muster. He pulled you down on the couch, your body cushioning his larger frame. He laid in between your legs, your back flat in the body of the couch.

“Im so happy your here.” Harry couldn’t even put his excitement into words. He knew you were coming in a week but to have you here earlier than that made him feel things. He sat up from suffocating you into the couch, allowing for you to sit up beside him. “What about your therapy? I hope you’re not jeopardizing your mental health to be here with me cause I would much prefer if you put me on the back burner and took care of yourself.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “I’m ok. I still will see my therapist virtually, I’ve got all new meds that are working fine, and if all goes to shit I will go back home. It’s ok bubs.” You reassure him.

He grabs your face with both hands pulling your face to his. Your lips meet with need. His lips slotting with yours, moving slowly but with rigor as if he was scared you would slip from his fingers. Your bottom lips fit between his lips leaving for him to suck on it slightly. You moaned at the feeling making Harry pull you in tighter. You sat slightly upon his lap, chest against each other tightly. Your tongues pushed at one another, lips loving in tangent.

You pulled away when you felt his lower presence awaken. He whined at the loss of contact making you giggle.

“If we go any further you’re gonna be late for your show. I’ll give you more back at the hotel, yeah?” You say lowly trying to catch your breathe. He groaned resting his forehead on yours chasing your lips with chaste kisses making you smile.

“Fine, you owe my though. This is level three apology situation that can only be resolved with these things; sloppy blowies, butt stuff, or face masks if you catch my drift.” He chastised. You let out a deep belly laugh pushing yourself away from him. You two still sit facing each other, your legs slightly on top of his.

“You’re so nasty, but I may be able to arrange one of those.” You wink making Harry let out a triumphant laugh.

“Are you staying for the show? I understand if your not.” He questions fiddling with your fingers.

“Think it would be best if I didn’t. I’m really tired and I obviously need a nap if I’m going to be up for your post show antics.” You joke giving his nose a poke. He jokingly pretends to bite your finger in retaliation.

Harry went on stage that night happier than ever. He started plotting proposals from the second he walked you to the car with your suitcase and waved goodbye to you. You went to the hotel room and “accidentally” fell asleep wearing one of your most recent purchases curled up in your tour bus blanket.

Let’s just say that Harry not so accidentally woke you up after that concert ready to love all of his adrenaline off in you.

Part 2👀

[bonkie-barnes]

Spoons

natasha romanoff x gn!reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: chronic illness, mention of medicine, self deprecating thoughts

A/N: this is me 1000% projecting about my guilt that comes with my chronic illnesses. they're kicking my ass rn. this is a vent fic, but if you resonate with this at all, i hope you enjoy :)

- - -

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The alarm clock on Natasha’s bedside table has been going off for a full minute already. You merely roll over and cover your head with Natasha’s pillow. It smells like her.

You have absolutely no energy to get up, let alone reach across the bed to turn the alarm off. Your head feels heavy and your body aches something terrible.

The list of chores you have to do around the house today sits uncomfortably in the back of your mind. The list of friends who have texted you about making plans to hang out sits there too. The idea of staying in bed all day sounds more and more appealing by the second. You know this because the alarm is still blaring into the otherwise peaceful morning air.

Just as you’re gathering the strength to sit up and turn the alarm off, Natasha walks in. She looks at her watch and her brow furrows in confusion.

“What are you doing, sleepyhead?” she asks you with a little smirk. There is concern in her eyes, though she masks it well.

You’re both fully aware the alarm has been going off for seven minutes straight now.

“Just tired, love. You know how much work it takes to reach over,” you say in a joking manner, hopeful that you can get past this without worrying her too much.

Natasha eyes you suspiciously for a second before giving in.

“How was your workout?” you ask her sincerely.

As she starts rambling about her morning activities, you feel a sense of shame. You’ve barely managed to wake up in the time it’s taken her to complete a full workout routine. Hell, you couldn’t even find it in you to turn the alarm off.

You finally focus on her rant as it comes to an end. Natasha is looking at you expectantly. Shit. She’s asked you a question.

“Huh?” you grunt.

She chuckles before answering, “I asked if you were ever going to get up and get in the shower, stinky.”

You put on a fake smile but fail to meet her eyes, the shame eating you up. It has been a few days since your last shower, but it’s just so hard to find the strength and energy to get up and stand in one place for more than a minute or two.

If Natasha notices the far away look in your eyes and the grimace on your mouth, she doesn’t say anything.

After one of the quickest and most unproductive showers you’ve ever taken, you find Natasha waiting for you in the kitchen. She’s taken it upon herself to make breakfast for you both.

You kiss her cheek and thank her as you sit down at the table. The warm cup of coffee she sets down in front of you is a godsend. The warmth emitting from the cup helps to diminish the pain in your knuckles, if only slightly. You send up a silent prayer to whomever might be listening that the caffeine will help with the fatigue today instead of making you sick.

Natasha sits down in the chair next to you with her own plate. She runs her eyes over you in a scrutinizing manner. She wants to think you don’t notice, but you do.

Clearing your throat in hopes to take her focus off you, you ask about her plans for the day.

“Oh, you know, mostly just busy work. I have a ton of paperwork to get through,” she tells you through an exaggerated sigh. “What about you?”

The list of chores screams at you again. “Mostly just some things around the house. Grocery shopping, laundry, boring shit like that.”

Natasha hums around a sip of her coffee. It surprised you just how much cream and sugar she takes in hers. It’s just one of the many unpredictable things about her that made you fall in love.

“Super exciting. I hate to miss out,” she teases you.

You crack a smile to appease her. Inside, though, you realize just how little she understands. These errands seem so simple to her, when to you, they are the most daunting of tasks.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by Natasha standing up to take her plate to the sink. She comes back to kiss your cheek and let you know she’s going to go get ready, before walking out of the room.

You suspect the amount of housework you’ll get done today will be minimal, so you decide to at least make Natasha some lunch. Maybe it will lessen the disappointment she feels when she comes home to see everything exactly as it was when she left, you think.

Your plan is halted as you’re making her sandwich. The stupid cover on the peanut butter jar is stuck. You can’t open it for the life of you. The guilt comes in like a tidal wave. You can’t even do something as simple as make lunch for her, your brain supplies for you.

Natasha returns from getting ready to see you standing in the kitchen with a glare on your tired face.

“What’d the peanut butter do to you this time,” she jokes.

“I can’t.” Tears well up in your eyes.

She comes up to wrap you in a hug from behind. She softly asks, “What can’t you do?”

“I can’t open the jar,” you mutter softly, feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, love. Let me help,” she tells you delicately before kissing the spot under your ear. She can tell this is affecting you more than usual and wishes for nothing more than to be able to take away your distress.

You mutter a thank you before continuing to make her sandwich. You pack everything into a bag and write a small note to finish it off. You know Natasha loves the little messages you leave her periodically, and nothing will stop you from trying to make her as happy as you can.

Goodbyes are said as you both wander closer to the door. Natasha makes sure to hold you longer and tighter than usual. You don’t comment on that.

The silence that encompasses the room as soon as the love of your life leaves is suffocating. You can feel the exhaustion from purely getting up and getting ready creeping up on you. Logically, you know that you shouldn’t overexert yourself, but the shame is eating you up. Already on a roll, might as well keep on going, you think to yourself.

You go back to your mental to-do list and debate what to start with. The grocery store doesn’t sound terrible. Some sun would do you some good. It’s been a few days since you’ve seen the world that exists outside of your house.

Wandering back to the bedroom to get your phone and shoes, you try to push the fatigue from your mind. In your attempt to block out the tiredness, you fail to recognize the ever-present pain in your joints increasing. It’s only when you sit down and bend over to put your shoes on that you register the feeling. Your hips ache severely; so much so, that you can’t hold your position long enough to get your shoe on your foot.

This seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, seeing as you immediately burst into tears. The pain mixed with your inability to do basic, everyday activities completely overwhelms you as you break down.

There’s absolutely no chance that you’re going to complete this task, let alone all the other ones on your list. You let out a sigh as you stand up and shuffle to your room, phone and shoes forgotten in the living room.

You let the weight of your emotions crush you as you climb into bed and under the covers, your wife’s pillow clutched closely to your chest.

Your tears cease to stop, even as you succumb to the sleep you so desperately wished to hold onto this morning.

- - -

Natasha comes home to an eerily silent house. On any typical day, she would come home to the noise of your favorite show or music softly playing, whether it be from a speaker or from your guitar. Your shared house consistently was filled with life and sound. It was one of her favorite parts of her day; coming home to you in your own element, laughing or singing. You are her home.

This newfound silence has her exceptionally worried. Even on your bad days, there was at least a laugh track coming from the TV or the smell of hot chocolate coming from the kitchen. Now, there’s absolutely nothing. For a split second, Natasha thinks that you may never have come back from the grocery. Her heart rate spikes. The sight of your phone on the coffee table and your shoes strewn haphazardly on the floor puts those worries to rest.

“Darling?” she calls from the entryway. There is no response. She carefully removes her boots and coat before moving through every room in the house, calling out for you softly in each.

She makes her way to the bedroom, lightly knocking on the door as she lets herself in. She sees the rise and fall of your chest and is filled with a sense of relief she didn't know she needed.

"Love? Are you awake?"

You grumble out an answer that could be understood as a 'yes'.

Natasha carefully sits down on the side of the bed that you are facing.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" she requests softly, in fear of upsetting the quiet environment of the bedroom and making things worse.

The tears that started up again when you wife called out the first time get even heavier somehow.

"Oh love, come here."

She carefully gathers you in her arms and rests your head on her chest.

"Does this have anything to do with the peanut butter jar this morning?"

You nod. One of your favorite things about your wife is her ability to observe and understand what you're going through.

"I just can't do anything today. Everything hurts and I'm so, so tired," you whisper, followed by a heartbreaking sob.

"It's okay love. Please don't cry," Natasha whispers back.

"But it's not! It's not okay!" You sit up from her chest to let out your rant. "You've done so much today and I could barely wake up. You work so hard and I should be able to do stuff around the house so you can come home and not have to worry about anything," you finish with a sigh.

Your wife puts her hand under your chin, forcing you to look in her direction. "Love, look at me. Believe me when I say that I don't care about the state of the laundry or if the pantry has been stocked. All I care about is you. All I want is for you to be okay. It's killing me that you feel like this and I can't do anything to take it away from you. What I can do, though, is tell you just how proud I am of you. You are the strongest person I know, and I work with the Avengers."

You giggled at that. Natasha smiles at your small second of happiness.

"Are you sure? Because I was going to get so much done today and I was trying to-"

Natasha cuts you off with a soft kiss.

"My love. Listen to me. All I care about is your health and happiness. If staying in bed and catching up on sleep is what you needed today, then that's all I expect from you. I never want you to hurt yourself trying to do more than you can. We all have limits. It’s okay to need a break some days. I love you and I am so very, very proud of you."

With a long look into her eyes, all you find is love and adoration directed towards you. There's no disgust or disappointment as you had anticipated.

"I love you too," you utter quietly.

Natasha smiles and leaves a long kiss on your forehead. "What if we got some pain killers and some food in you? We can even put on your favorite movie. Does that sound good?"

You nod. Natasha gets up to get you some medicine and to order some food, while you get your favorite movie loaded on the TV.

Later that night, when both your stomachs are full and your wife is obnoxiously singing along to the songs in the movie just to make you laugh, you realize just how loved you are.

You don't know how tomorrow will treat you, or the day after that. What you do know, however, is that Natasha will always be there to support and love you. Your pain level and ability to function is always an uncertainty, but your wife's love will never be.

- - -

A/N: as always, i try to keep it gender neutral. if you find a mistake, please let me know! feedback is appreciated! to all my chronic illness buddies out there: i love you, you've got this :)

taglist: @007giu

[xenia-cenia]

Hello! I'd like to request for seperate headcannons where Akutagawa, Kunikida, Poe, and Fyodor serve the reader breakfast in bed for their anniversary :)). Thanks~

A/N-cute shit? sign me up!

-domestic aku? impossible

-except he's really fluffy for people who treat him well and tries his best

-and (unbeknownst to you) he had been planning the perfect 2 year anniverary present for months

-from the way he always simply nodded or grunted when you mentioned it, you weren't expecting anything special

-the night before hes as stoic as ever

-except as you change into your sleep clothes he softly grabs your head and kisses your forehead

-his face is bright red and he awkwardly puts his hand on your head after

-you nod and smile "I love you too, Ryuu"

-he looked away and nodded, instantly going back to reading

-he waits 25 minutes and creeps into your shared bedroom

-when he sees you sound asleep he instantly starts phase 2: preparing to cook

-his coat is off, he has one of those bright pink heart-spotted kiss the cook! aprons with frill on the outside and a large pocket in the center

-he's gone all out for this. he has a hat

-the entire night he is mixing ingredients, fixing his mistakes and occasionally running back out to the store to buy what he's missing

-but finally at 7am hes done it

-a subpar breakfast ready for his beloved spouse

-he's gotten a tray and is loading all the food onto it when he hears the floors creak

-"Ryuunosuke?" your familiar voice startles him into dropping the glass of water into the sink and spilling water onto his apron

-he spins around and looks at your bleary eyes and how your pajamas are ruffled and wrinkled

-akutagawa felt his spirits rise, "you're awake."

-"what are you doing? finally leaving me?" you joked and walked over to him, rubbing his shoulders

-"you know id never do that" his voice was cold and deadly serious

-"i know, ryuu. just teasing"

-"oh" he uncomfortably shifted his weight on his feet and tapped the edge of the food tray "can you... go back to bed?"

-you laughed abruptly and loudly (it startled him, the amount of comfort your laugh brought him)

-he watched as you waved him off and went back to your bedroom

-a few minutes later he came into the room and set the tray next to you, softly kissing your forehead

-”good morning, love” he whispered (a whisper you had never heard from him before - a soft one, filled with tenderness and adoration)

-”good morning,” you smiled at him and pulled him next to you in the bed, the two of you quietly eating the food and chatting about how you first met

-unlike aku this one will not be cute

-he woke up at 5:34:27 am (exactly, as he does every morning) and made a breakfast with everything perfectly measured, cooked and set up

-even the damn tray was set up like a mini art museum 

-not a single damn thing goes wrong as long as hes in charge

-however kunikida is not one to leave things ‘half-assed’

-no he cooks breakfast everyday for you and he wants you to treasure this day (the way he treasures you)

-not only is there a love note pinned onto your bedstand fixed with a small gardenia hes also done all of your reports for you at work AND he lets you wear his glasses

-dont even consider getting out of bed

-hes taking care of everything today

-just rest.

-when youre done eating he’ll sit next to you and play with your hair while humming softly

-hes bad at singing but its peaceful nonetheless

-eventually gets back in bed and falls asleep next to you

-an incredibly rare treat to see him sleep in

-his cooking is... eh... simple?

-its mostly food he ate when he was growing up because thats all he knows how to make

-when you finish eating he’ll clasp your hands and tell you to close your eyes

-you hadnt realized what was happening until you felt the soft paper brush against your finger

-when you opened your eyes you were in a meadow, a soft lake born breeze ruffling Poes clothes a smile on his face as he pulled his hair off his face revealing his sunken eyes

-rose petals lingered in the air and one landed on his nose, causing him to jump in surprise therefore ruining the ‘romantic princely’ image he was going for

-karl skittered onto your shoulder as you laughed cheerfully

-”edgar...” you trailed off, shaking your head in bemusement

-”i-it’s our 2 year anniversary...” he pulled at his vest, wrapping his finger around a loose thread “i wa... i wanted to do something special... for you”

-and before you can respond hes clasped your hands and is dragging your further through the meadow

-youre speechless as you stare at the picturesque world hes created

-the sky is a beautiful shade of blue, animals are happily trotting nearby, the familiar scent of new books permeates the air, flowers of all sizes and colors bloom as you step past

-for hours the two of you (three including Karl) wandered around carelessly chatting when he stopped you at a large intricately designed pavilion

-he softly pressed the outside of your hand with his palm and led you to the center

-vines stretched up the side of the pavilion and onto the tightly wound roof slats, daffodils blooming on top

-the hard wood creaked as you stepped onto it

-he grabbed your hand and pulled you close, kissing you as rose petals scattered onto the ground

-when he stopped kissing you, he kept his face centimeters from your face his cool breath brushing against your lips

-“I love you” he whispered

-and he hardly waited a second to kiss you again

-RAT MAN

-you’re fooling yourself if you think he can cook

-he made someone else make the breakfast and simply took credit for it

-the only thing he actually does is play music for you while you eat

-after you’re finished he does something you cannot believe

-he gets in the bed… and cuddles

-for a second you’re convinced someone possessed him because he very rarely cuddles

-when you start to tease him for this he just takes one of your hands and ruffles his hair with it

-“are you happy, love?” He’ll ask every couple of seconds

-when you’re all cuddled out he’ll get up and give you a beautifully wrapped gift paired with an envelope

-when you unwrap the present you’ll see hes taken photos of every spot you’d gone on a date with him and arranged neatly into a large scrapbook

-in the margins there’s carefully written notes about the date, sometimes it’s things he found funny (Here you had gotten startled and accidentally spilled your food all over the table and on me. You looked so cute as you apologized) or times he knew he was in love with you (It was late, and you balanced on the edge of the sidewalk with your arms extended. I had quietly listened as you talked about your day, when suddenly you had stopped and pointed at the stars. ‘Vega and Altair’ you had said ‘the lovers’. And then you looked back at me, joy in your eyes. And I realized you made my heart pound in my chest.)

-he smiled as you flipped through the scrapbook, sometimes pointing out things in the background of the photos other times listening to you reminisce on your past dates

-but what he was waiting for the most was when you opened the envelope

-it was short and sweet, written with things you heard 1,000 times before but the ending was what caught your eye

-you looked over at him with wide eyes and a slightly agape mouth

-he beamed and nervously held the ring between his thumb and index finger

-“marry me, love?”

-and you knew exactly what to say

[bibibinnie]

not yet | [ tattoos ch. 6 ]

✧ synopsis. yeonjun may be starting to realize some of his feelings while at lunch with indigo. read previous chapter here. all chapters here. ✧ pairing. idol!yeonjun x indigo [oc - read about her here] ✧ genre. fluff, slice of life, indigo's pov ✧ words. 3.2K ✧ cw. swearing, drinking tea and coffee, eating, puppies, indigo starts thinking about something bad that happened to her in high school, but there aren't any details shared (i decided to leave out details, feel free to fill in on your own), it's implied that one of her friend's parents would kick her out of the house after finding out about her sexuality, indigo is bisexual and talks about past relationships with females. ✧ notes. i kinda like this chapter. ehehe

May 2021

“Can you believe he said that?” I ask Austyn across the table. Taking a bite of spaghetti, they cover their sly smile with their hand.

“You know,” they say, their voice muffled by their mouthful of spaghetti. “You’ve been talking about this guy so much recently, I’m starting to think you like him,” they say, reaching for their black lipstick-smudged wine glass.

“You’re ridiculous,” I roll my eyes. 

“You never shut up about him!” That can’t be true, right? “Besides,” they start. “He’s right.” They smirk, leaning back in the booth. “I don’t know why you stay with Hannah either. You used to be such a slut.”

I plop my fork down with a clank. “What—?”

“Self-proclaimed slut,” they hold their hands up. “You used to call yourself a slut.”

“Yeah, but still,” I say, reaching for my glass of water. “Rude.” Wiping the corners of my mouth with my napkin, I can only seem to make eye contact with my half-eaten plate of ravioli. “I wouldn’t have time to be a slut anymore anyway.”

“Exactly. Hannah’s a guaranteed fuck whenever you want and the two of you are barely committed to each other,” they add. “And you get to pretend you don’t have commitment issues or feelings for some dork halfway across the world you barely see but won’t shut the fuck up about.” They raise their eyebrows at me like they know a secret. Which they don’t. There’s no secret to know about.

Playing with my butter knife, I bite the inside of my cheek and say, “He’s not a dork.” 

“So,” they start. “You do have feelings for him?” I roll my eyes again and they wipe their fingers on their napkin before reaching for my hand. “Listen,” they sigh. “All I’m saying is don’t let your personal…issues keep you from being with someone,” they say. “Do not let what that Stevie bitch did to you in high school ruin your chance of happiness.”

This uber ride home is neverending. And that’s the bad thing—or potentially good thing, depending on how you look at it—it gives me time to think. 

Don’t let what Stevie did ruin your happiness. 

I blink hard, shaking my head to get rid of the memory. But I can’t keep it from rushing back to me. 

My phone buzzes as soon as I walk through my front door, bringing me back to reality.

Yeonjun 9:43 PM You okay? I haven’t heard from you in a few days. 

Ugh, what’s with this stupid smile on my face? Stop it. I’m mad at you right now. At least I’m supposed to be. So why is it all I wanna do right now is call you?

Yeonjun 10:07 PM I’m sorry, Indi. 10:08 PM For the third time. 

I stare at my screen, typing and retyping message after message before eventually giving up, leaving him on read.

it’s ok. i miss you. i’ll be back in seoul next week. excited to see u soon. it’s ok. miss u, goober. don’t worry about it. 

The next week, I’m finally back in Seoul again for work, but I haven’t told Yeonjun this time. Because it doesn’t matter if he knows. It’s none of his business anyway. And I don’t care if he knows I’m here. 

I do miss our coffee shop though. And his stupid jokes. And singing with him. Writing songs with him. Talking for hours. His coffee breath. His hair. 

“Indigo,” someone says sternly behind me, like they’ve been trying to get my attention for a while. 

“Oh, sorry—”

“What are you doing here?” Yeonjun asks, a chuckle in his voice. 

“I, uh, wanted a tea,” I say, my brain still foggy from the flight and not talking to anyone besides co-workers for a few days. 

“No, I mean Seoul, silly.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “You didn’t tell me you were coming back,” he says, patiently waiting for an answer.

“Sorry, I’ve just been—”

“Being stubborn?” A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. “Are you still mad at me?” 

“Yes,” I cross my arms. “Yes, I am.”

“Indi…” he shakes his head. “I’ve apologized to you, like, three times. Well, I’ve tried to at least. You won’t text me back. You won’t answer the phone anymore.” God, I really can be a bitch, huh? I divert my attention from him and he sighs. “What if we hung out tomorrow? Do you think you could pretend like you’re not mad at me for a few hours?” He smirks.

“What would we do?”

“I dunno,” he shrugs. “We can go to an art museum.”

My face brightens—so does his in response—and I say, “That sounds…fine.”

He chuckles and says, “I can pick you up tomorrow morning, yeah?” I nod gently and he checks his phone for the time. “I gotta go. See you tomorrow?” He asks, walking away as I nod gently. 

“Oh, wait—” He turns around, waiting for me to finish my thought. “Uh…” I start, anxiously searching around for whatever I was going to say. “It’s a different hotel than usual.” 

“You can text me now. You’re not mad at me anymore, remember?”

“Not until tomorrow,” I smile, taking a sip of my tea.

-

Walking out the front door of my hotel, the lights of a black SUV flash and I walk up to it, a man stepping out of the front passenger seat to open the back seat door for me. 

“Hello,” I say, pressing my lips to form a thin smile. 

“Hey,” he says. “Sorry, they were being drama this morning and insisted on taking us.” He rolls his eyes. The man from the front passenger seat turns and says something to him I don’t understand and they get in a small spat, mostly just messing with each other it seems. “I think it’s because this hotel is a bit busier than the last one.”

Walking the hallways of this museum, we try our best not to bring any attention to ourselves. His hands are shoved in his pockets while he leisurely walks next to me. Occasionally glancing over at me, his mouth is covered with a mask, so I can only assume he’s smiling and I’m not irritating him.

“Sorry—” I say, turning my attention to the painting he’s looking over.

“For what?”

“I’ve been rambling since I got in the car,” I say quietly, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. 

“It’s okay. I like hearing you talk,” his eyes crinkle at the corners behind his glasses and I glance up at him, my cheeks warming up, thankful this mask I’m wearing is covering them. 

“Why are you blinking like that? Is everything okay?”

“That was supposed to be a wink!” He laughs and I’m taken-aback, the blush spreading to my ears and chest. “Ooh,” he nudges my arm with his elbow. “Is that a blush I see?”

This motherfucker just made me gush. My hands instinctively reach for my face as I desperately try to find anything to distract myself—the ground, a piece of art, that piece of trash that missed the bin. 

Looking up, he’s still looking at me with his hands still in his pockets. Waiting for an answer. 

“No,” I clear my throat. “It’s just…really hot in here,” I say, pulling at the collar of my shirt. I shake my hands. What do I usually do with them? All I know is I’m resisting the urge to touch his arm. 

What is it about museums? I’m not a touchy person. At all. They’re just romantic—the gorgeous artwork, the quiet bustle, couples dressed up hugging each other, holding hands. I wish—

No, don’t even finish that thought. 

“Oh, sweet,” he says, looking around, pulling out his phone. “We’re alone. Take a picture with me before someone walks in here.” After pulling his mask down, he wraps an arm around me. His voice sounds like gargled mumbles under my heartbeat banging in my ears. 

My shoulders scrunch up while I attempt to smile, but it couldn’t have looked great. 

“Come on,” he chuckles. “Take your mask off. It’s okay—no one’s around.” Reluctantly, I pull my mask down below my chin. “You look so nervous, Indi,” he says, his voice all low and slow—it’s honestly killing me. “Just smile normally.”

“I am smiling normally!” I roll my eyes, a real smile forming on my face.

“Got it,” he says, taking his arm off me, locking his phone, and pulling his mask back up.

“Wait, let me see it at least.” Running his fingers through his hair, he pulls out his phone again, his thumb tapping the screen, handing it to me. 

We do look kinda cute together. No. I look so stupid smiling up at him like that. How does he look at me when I’m not looking? I shake my head to rid my thoughts of ridiculousness. 

“Oh, actually,” he says, glancing at his phone again. “We should go soon.”

“Why?” I ask, only receiving a smile as an answer. “Do you have something else planned?”

“You’ll see.” 

Walking the streets, we keep a leisurely pace, but I can still tell there’s a deadline. I’ve honestly never seen this side of Seoul before. I’ve always been back and forth to work, the coffee shop, the studio, coffee shop again, and my hotel. I’ve never had time to simply explore it like this. 

“Oh, look,” he says, nudging my arm with his elbow. “Your favorite.” He points his head in the direction of a street vendor selling flowers, specifically a bunch of sunflowers. But I hate sunflowers. I scrunch my nose at him. “I know, I know, you hate sunflowers. I was just kidding,” he says, continuing to walk toward our final destination.

How did he know I hate sunflowers?  And when did he start looking so…ethereal? The way the sun shines through his hair from behind him looks amazing. It makes everyone walking around him on the sidewalks seem blurry. Everything sounds like it’s underwater. God, he’s so—

“You comin’?” 

“Hm?” I snap out of it. “Oh, um…no, I want to buy some.”

“What?” He walks closer to me. “Some sunflowers?”

“No, no.” I giggle, walking around the flower stand. “Peonies. The prettiest,” I say, reaching to touch the gorgeous powder pink petals. “Aren’t they?” I glance up, met with his dumb, brown eyes. I wish they weren’t so pretty. 

“Yeah.” He nods. 

“What?” I chuckle.

“They’re the prettiest,” he says and I hum. “The peonies…they’re pretty.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah…they are.” I clear my throat. Someone walks up and puts his hand on his shoulder. I quickly turn away from them to avoid a conversation, but they start talking. While they talk, I hurry to pay for the flowers before walking to the side. Rummaging through my purse furiously, I dial Austyn’s number. What time is it in LA anyway?

“Okay, you were right,” I say, my heart beating against my chest. “I have a big, fat crush on him.”

“I knew—”

“I’m, like, giggling and blushing and shit every time he looks at me,” I say, rubbing my forehead with my fingertips. “Ohmygod this is so fucking embarrassing. What the fuck, what the fuck, whatthefuck. What should I do?”

“Break up with Hannah and fuck him,” Austyn says, like it’s that easy. Like he has feelings for me too. 

“No!” I scream-whisper. “He probably doesn’t even like me—”

“Indigo,” they start. “I’ve never even met the guy and I can tell you he’s in love with you. That’s why he said that stuff about you and Hannah. He’s jealous.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not,” they insist. “Are you two hanging out together today?”

“Yeah…” I say. “We just left the art museum and we stopped at a little flower stand. He’s talking to someone right now,” I say, glancing around the area, trying not to stare at him, but still aware of where he is. “I’m just standing off to the side giggling like an idiot.”

“He took you to an art museum and bought you flowers?”

“He didn’t take me anywhere,” I say. “We went together. And I bought my own flowers,” I say, looking down at the peonies in my bag.

“You know you’re on a date, right?” They chuckle and I can picture their proud smirk that’s always present in their voice when they think they’re right.

“We are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not—”

“Are too—“

“Are not—ohmygod, he’s coming back over here, gotta go. Bye,” I say, slamming the end call button, smiling up at him, trying to put together what Austyn was yelling at me as I hung up on them. 

“Who was that?”

“Uh,” I start, putting my phone back in my purse. “Hannah.”

“Oh,” he presses his lips together. “How are you two?”

“Great!” I smile. “Just perfect, awesome, wonderful, amazing.” Okay, Indigo, that was one too many. Shut up now.

“Great,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Ready to go?” He asks, tilting his head forward. 

“Sure,” I smile, my heart warming up as he smiles down at me. “Awesome, totally,” I giggle, my fingers fumbling with my hair. Hey, dumbass, whatcha doin’? I quickly move my hand down, while he says something I can’t focus on. Something about a new music video.

“I’m not totally sure though, I can’t keep up with all the dates of everything.” He chuckles. 

“Wow,” I say, sounding like an idiot. “What’s the song like?”

“It’s like—”

You’re blushing again. Stop that. Okay, now you’re giggling uncontrollably. 

“Wow…that sounds amazeballs,” I giggle. Oh my god, shut the fuck up.

He looks at me suspiciously, his eyebrows furrowed and asks, “What? What was that word?”

“Oh,” I glance down, tucking some hair behind my ear. “Nothing.”

“Okay,” he chuckles. “Well, anyway—”

Stop playing with your hair. Okay, there ya go. Keep it cool. “That’s cool,” I say calmly. 

“Ah, here we are,” he says, turning toward a door.

“What’s this?” I ask, peeking inside. Gasping, I grab his shoulder. “Oh my god,” I look up at him—and there he is, smiling down at me again. “Is this a dog cafe?” He nods, holding the door open for me. 

No one else is in here, which makes me absolutely gush. I can’t tell how red my face is, but it has to be an embarrassing vermilion at the very least. 

“Indi,” Yeonjun drags out my name like he’s been trying to get my attention for quite some time, nudging my arm with his elbow. I’ve been too preoccupied squishing this golden retriever’s ears.

“Oh, sorry,” I say, standing to tuck some hair behind my ear. “Yeah?” He hands me a tea that I didn’t order. As his fingers brush mine, the mug falls to the floor, hot tea splattering all over the place, bits of ceramic flying everywhere, scaring some of the puppies. “Oh, shoot, shoot, shoot,” I say, attempting to hold my shirt off my body, but Yeonjun’s hand on my shoulder is burning more than that. I apologize to the workers, holding my cheeks with my hands as one of them brings over a bin and mop.

“Did it burn you?”

“No, I’m fine,” I lie, but I don’t need to cause any more of a scene.

“I’m sorry if I dropped it on you,” he chuckles. “I couldn’t tell.”

“No, no, it was me. I dropped it.”

Once everything is cleaned up, they kindly get me a replacement tea and I’m much more careful with it this time. All these puppies are so adorable. I sit on the floor, my legs spread to let the puppies get close to me. One particular puppy, a small pitbull, and I form a bond and she keeps licking my chin, snuggling into my chest. 

“Indi—” Yeonjun says, a smile in his voice. He’s holding his phone, wanting to snap a few pictures of me. I pose, pressing my cheek to the puppy. One of the workers says something to us and I look at Yeonjun questioningly. “She said her name is Kkonnip…it means Petal.”

“Aw,” I giggle, pressing my lips together. “That is so cute.” He’s playing with another dog, a little pomeranian. “What’s his name?”

“Hudu,” he laughs. “It’s like a…some kind of nut. I forgot the English word. They’re kinda wrinkly.”

“Almond?”

“No, no,” he shakes his head. “They look like little brains.”

I laugh out loud. “Walnuts?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Walnut.” 

“Ah, that’s adorable! What a good name for him…Hudu,” I giggle, reaching my hand out to pet Hudu’s back. “And this one,” I hold up my dog again, squeezing her tight. “How do you say it?”

“Kko-nip.”

“Kkonip,” I say matter-of-factly. “So cute,” I say, glancing up at Yeonjun. 

“Your Korean is cute,” he chuckles. 

“Shut up,” I giggle, shoving his shoulder. “I’m trying my hardest, okay?”

“No, I know,” he says, leaning back on his hands as the workers say something to him again and he smiles. They go in the back room and I scoot closer to him, asking him what they said. “You’ll see.”

“Okay…? Sorry you gotta be my translator. That’s probably annoying.” He shakes his head, taking a sip of his iced coffee. “Why’d you do this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why’d you bring me here? Why are you being so nice?” I look at him, narrowing my eyes. “Are you dying or something?” I gasp. “Am I dying?” 

“No,” he chuckles. “At least not that I know of,” he says. “I just thought—” 

“Ah, oh my god!” I giggle as a gaggle of tiny golden retriever puppies come running toward us from the back room. “Look how fu—I mean, freaking cute they are,” I say. 

“I know,” he chuckles, picking one up. 

“Maybe I am gonna die.”

-

“So,” I start as we walk out the door. “Why’d you do that? Am I actually dying?”

“No,” he chuckles. “I just thought it’d make you happy.”

Oh my god. Has he always been this sweet? He has, hasn’t he? Yeah, this is just who he is. He’s just nice to his friends like this I bet.

“Well,” I clear my throat. “It did.” I turn to him as we stop walking and I smile up at him. “Thank you.” He shoves his hands in his pockets while I fight the urge to hug him.

Hug him? I hate hugging. I mean, unless we’re dating. Maybe I should just hug him. Friends hug their friends, right? I’ve been standing here looking at him too long, haven’t I? 

Diverting my eyes from his and looking at the ground, I awkwardly start walking again. 

“So…” I say, but soon stop dead in my tracks, looking up at his eyes. “I’m sorry,” I say and he looks at me questioningly. “I was being a jerk and…like you said, stubborn.”

“Ah, it’s okay,” he shrugs. 

“Not really though,” I say. “I overreacted and then I ignored you for three weeks. That’s not cool.” He presses his lips together and nods. “So, I’m sorry.”

He nods and asks, “You wanna tell me why you did that?” I was hoping he wouldn’t ask that question. I wouldn’t even know what to say. If I break down and admit he was right, I’d have to admit to having this big, fat crush on him and I don’t wanna do that. Not now. “Or is that also none of my business?”

“That one,” I nod. “Yeah, not yet.”

[chocominnie]

One Last Time 06 —  Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Word Count : 3k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

‘‘ I swear I am going to have someone beat your ass Park Jimin!’’

‘‘ It’s not my fucking fault! I broke up with her but you lead her to the apartment  knowing she’ll follow!’‘

‘‘ Damn it Jimin im going to kick your ass!’‘

Your eyes pop open just in time to see Jungkook on-top of Jimin hitting him repeatedly on the face while Jimin manages to push him off of him and begin his fist fight against him. He straddles Jungkook to the floor and punches are thrown left and right. Now the sudden headache of seeing the two brothers fight has began in your head and you cannot stand hearing the groaning and yelling between them. Bringing your hand up to signal them to stop, you realize they don’t even know you’ve awakened.

 Jungkook on the other hand is not having it so he throws Jimin off of him harshly making Jimin groan. The way he grabs Jimin’s collar with venom fast strength finally gives you the courage to yell out to them.

‘‘ Stop! Damn it, you two are like literal fucking teenagers. Act your age!”

The both of them turn their heads toward you slowly. Jungkook drops his fist, which was going to connect with Jimin’s face. You take a good look at them. Freshly bruised from each-other. Great.

‘‘ You think fighting is going to solve this problem huh? Get over here now.” You say, eyebrows furrowed in anger.

Jungkook gives Jimin a death glare before rushing to your side and feeling your forehead. You slap his hand away and pull him down by his shirt only for him to recieve a harsh slap to the forehead.

‘‘ Shit!” He stumbles back and rubs his forehead. He shoots you a glare, wanting to yell at you but doesn’t.  You motion for Jimin to come to you too. He raises his eyebrows in amusement.

‘‘ I don’t think it’s necessary for you to do that..” He says, as if your death glare towards him isn’t enough to tell him you aren’t joking whatsoever.

He gets the memo when you disregard his comments before hanging his head low and bending down a little to your height. One slap against the forehead and two across the wrists.

‘‘ That’s for you fighting He was only looking out for me. The last two were for having a psychotic girlfriend who almost killed me. Look at my wrist!’‘

You hold them out to see two I.V’s, one for blood transfusion and the other a regular for nutrients on your right wrist. Both of them bandaged up which does need to be changed because of the old blood.

‘‘ I know and I’m sorry. I didn’t know she would be this upset.’‘ Jimin says, hanging his head low. Jungkook rolls his eyes at him out of annoyance.

‘‘ Whatever. I already called my lawyer for your case. Since Isabel tried to attempt murder to you, you will win this case for sure.’‘ He proudly leans against the wall hoping to atleast crack a smile from you.

You don’t smile though. The last thing you need is another scandal. If this were to make the news and blogs right now then it could be a bad thing. You’ve just started your modeling career again and right now would be the worst time to have something like that. 

Jimin leans on the wall with his hands in his pockets, still avoiding locking eyes with you which is something he usually does. Something tells you that he’s hiding something. Something that you just can’t put your finger on.

‘‘ The police will come shortly for witness statements and your statement. Then they’ll call for a court date as soon as possible.’‘ Jimin’s voice low, illuminating with a hint of sadness.

Out of curiosity you want to say something more. To ask him whats going on and why he’s acting rather like this. It’s really not like him. He’s hiding something for sure and you just cannot put your finger on it. You just agree and pull out your phone. A missed call from Ryan. You try texting her and she almost always responds immediately. This time she doesn’t. What’s really going on?

You don’t know but Ryan took it upon herself to pay Isabel a visit. Usually visitors aren’t allowed for people in holding but with a little sweet talk of hers she got to get atleast 10 minutes to talk. That’s all she needs. When it comes to you, her bestfriend, she never messes around. Hearing the news from Jungkook yesterday she almost went luncatic. Throwing things at him, calling his brother every disrespectful name in the book. Oh she hates him now for sure.

Jungkook had to stop her from going over to the hospital to beat his ass into a bloody pulp for causing you pain and getting together with that crazy girl just to break up with her. Ryan was heated. 

But now she can take this heat and serve some to Isabel right now. She walks with confidence into the room. Nothing and nobody can stop her and if they even try, she’ll chew them up and spit them out. Catching a glimpise of Isabel sitting at the table with her hands cuffed and security next to her, Ryan shoots her a devious glare.

‘‘ What brings you here? I expected my boyfr-’‘

A harsh slam from her hands hit the table as she bends a little to her seated level, ‘‘ He’ not your fucking boyfriend. You were lucky I wasn’t there to beat your fucking ass.”

The guard tenses up at the sounds and sudden movements. Ryan notices, and decides to take her seat to calm down before she’s the one sitting behind the jail bars too. 

‘‘ Ryan.. I thought we were friends?’‘ She frowns, pouting her lips while fake wiping tears away. 

Ryan scoffs,shaking her head ever so slowly with a devilish grin on her face. “ We aren’t. Don’t let me catch you un-attended without your manager or body guard.. Isabel.’’

Isabel laughs one of her evil laughs, throwing her head back then coming back up, “ Oh how cute. Is this a threat from little ol’ you? Me and Jimin were doing just fine before your bestfriend had decided to enter his life again. I’m not the only bad guy here. She should know boundaries for taken men. Ex’s aren’t supposed to be firendly and lovey dovey. Spending nights and going everywhere with each other. Especially when one’s a famous idol with another idol girlfriend. Do I make myself clear?”

“ Maybe you should take that up with your hoe of a boyfriend. He’s the one who can’t leave her alone.” She yells, inches away from Isabel’s face. The two stare at each other long and hard. Isabel is no match for Ryan though.

The guard clears his throat to break the two’s glares. The tension is thick in the air.

“ If you ever touch yn again, I’ll make sure you’re the one in the hospital this time around.”

‘‘ You’ll all see. I’ll win this court case. Trust me… there’s things you do not know.” 

Ryan rolls her eyes, strutting her way out the room with the sound of her heels clicking right behind her. Consider the message recieved. 

It’s been one week after the situation. In which in between those days you were dismissed from the hospital and have been in at Jimin’s house ever since. You didn’t want to be here. You want to be at home with your cat, Clara. Jungkook’s been going over to feed and play with her. Jimin kept pleading for you not to return home just yet because it could be a danger to you. It makes sense. You never know what Isabel has up her sleeve. 

So you’ve been sitting here doing the same old thing everyday. Eat, watch movies and netflix tv shows,  sleep, and repeat.

Jimin would come in and out of his home studio to check in on you. He still has to work on producing and singing his songs. He’d bring the food and your medicine he prepared per usual,  kiss your forehead, and go right back out to producing his highly anticipated album.

It all seems fake to you. Something is off. Something is not being told to you. You can feel it in your gut but can’t put a finger on it.

‘‘ This is so cliche.’‘ You murmur to yourself, switching the flat-screen T.V off.

And as if on cue Jimin comes inside your- well his room with a glass of water and prescribed pain killers for you. The slight smile on his face makes you want to smile but you don’t.

‘‘ Smile for ocne yn. Do you not like staying here?’‘ He says, sitting next to you on the side of the bed and places the glass in your hands.

You furrow your eyebrows at him, taking the two pills out of his palm. “ No.. but be honest with me Jimin okay?”

His face turns a quick shade of pink then pale as if you had said the wrong choice of words at the wrong time. As if he had seen a ghost at this very moment. That’s not a good sign at all.

‘‘ Are you.. hiding something from me?’‘

The atmosphere is thick and silence fills the room. You don’t say anything and he doesn’t either. Your eyes meet his and for once they don’t pull away first. 

Jimin doesn’t know how to break it to you though. It’s now or never.

‘‘ She will never leave me.”

You bite your lip hard, “ What do you mean?”

“ That she said that she’d do everything to ruin our relationship if we continue to persue one. She’d spready rumors about you to Dispatch. Make a scene whenver you’re near me. Anything she can do, she will do it.”

You don’t know how to take this all in. You knew Isabel was possesive but not this possesive. The thought of her doing things on purpose for you to make everyone hate you makes you want to cry. To just bawl your eyes out right here right now. You can’t.. you won’t do it. 

You won’t give in because thats what she wants. To make you cry. To ruin your reputation and work. Jimin came back into your life and of course you don’t know what to do or how to deal with it. But this is what you wanted right? You’ve been longing for you and him to get a second chance. It’s you. You’re the one who’s been putting things off and not letting things go with the flow. Maybe he came back to you because he realized how wrong he was for cheating on you. For leaving you behind. For not seeing things for truly how it is. 

You knew Isabel was bad luck from the beginning. Now is the time to try and take back what was originally yours. That will hurt her more than ever. 

“ She needs to have a reality check. Not everything revolves around her.”

‘‘ I agree. Putting her behind bars might give her a reality check. It should serve her right for harming people.” Jimin sighs. 

The silence is thick. You both don’t know what to say and it’s sure as hell awkward more than ever right now. Until that silence breaks. 

‘‘ I feel like you aren’t being your true self to me. If we are getting things out now.” 

His sudden comment makes you lift your head up from playing with the comforter. “ What do you mean?’’

‘‘ You.. don’t want to take actions on what you feel, say, or want to do with or about me. It’s killing me inside.”

He’s right. You do try to push your feelings aside no matter what the cause is. It’s just you trying to not set yourself up for hearbreak again. You do want him. You do want everything to do with him. Considering the things that happened in the past, it’s no doubt theres a fence guarding your heart from intruders. 

You exhale out heavily, “ Im just.. scared.’’

‘‘ Of? “

‘‘ Being hurt again.”

Dead silence again. This time he’s the one trying to come up with words to redirect your view of him. Yes, he broke your heart in the worst way possible. He wants you to see he’s changed. 

Jimin bites his lip, voice shaky when he begins talking again. ‘‘ How can I show you that i’m not the same anymore. Im not I promise you. I want you to see I have changed. I know it’s my fault. I destroyed you but let me fix it.”

It’s all come down to this. You’ve wanted this and now is the chance to get it. Now is the chance to have what was once yours. But the feeling of doubt had taken its course on you at the worst time.

‘‘ Jimin.. how do I know that for sure?’‘ You say, unintentionally fluttering your eyes at him. To you it’s to prevent from letting tears fall. 

Jimin see’s it as that specific thing you used to do when you wanted him. When you craved him and would drop hints. To be completely honest, you do crave him. You do want him. Make-up sex was something you two used to do often. It was your toxic way of saying im sorry. 

Somehow you want to put that toxic thing into action right now. As fucked up as it is, that’s how you two know you’re sorry towards each other. Actions speak louder than words. 

He closes his eyes for a quick second before clenching his jaw to contain himself. Your weak spot.

‘‘ Stop doing that. Unless you want to start something you don’t want to finish.” 

You smile just a little, hoping he’d get the memo. “ What if I do want to start and finish it..”

As if a car alarm went off, Jimin’s eyes pop back open with a suprised look. That’s the last thing he’d thought he’d be hearing from you. “ Are you sure about that? I mean we don’t have t-”

You lean in closer to where you guys are inches apart, his lips softly rubbing against yours. “ I’m all for it.”

Within seconds, Jimin’s shirt is removed off of you only revealing your blue panties which have became a little soaked with your wetness. He takes in the scent of you before his mouth connects with your thighs, slightly sucking to leave bruises on you.

‘‘ Jimin.. don’t tease me.”  You sigh, laying fully down to spread your legs even more. He hums against your skin making you catch chills up and down your spine.

‘‘ That’s my specialty baby. You know that.” He trails a kiss with each word all the way down to your core where he dips a finger inside. You tense up attempting to close your legs. He doesn’t allow it, spreading them open harshly again. 

‘’ Jimin-’‘ You barely utter before he begins to move his fingers in and out of you slowly. You let out a whine to try and make him go faster but it doesn’t work.

He comes up to your mouth and plants a wet, sloppy kiss. “ No whining. You’re gonna get what you want. Just relax baby.”

Is all he tells you before he goes back down to your core to tend to your desires.

The first lick between your legs is ever so gentle. Too gentle for you right now considering that you want release badly and Jimin knew exactly that. He opens his mouth and swirls his tongue up and down your slit. A groan leaves his mouth once he gets a taste of you which sends a vibration to your sensitive bud.

Each time his tongue laps against you your body jerked and shook but that only makes his tongue go faster. Sending you into a moaning and groaning mess as you tug on his hair.

“Mmh you even taste the same like always.” He moans with a smirk.

“Jimin please-” you cry out, locking your fingers into his hair when a finger is inserted into your dripping wet hole.

‘‘ No whining babygirl.’‘ His voice gentle as ever when he removes the finger inside of you making you pout a little. But that pout soon turned into your eyes becoming wide when he starts to take off his shirt, then grey sweatpants, then his underwear where his thick cock springs up.

Your eyes can’t leave his body. God it’s been a while. He looks pretty damn good. You wan’t to take all of his length in your mouth right now. To hear him praise you about how good your mouth feels against him. God you want it right now. 

He gives it a few strokes before walking over to you. Just before hovering over you, he gives you a passionate kiss while lifting up your legs and positioning them to his liking. Missionary.

The tip of him pokes at the entrance of you, teasing in and out. Soon enough he enters you slowly making both of you moan together.

You still wrap and fit around his member smug as ever, and he could not believe it. The feeling of familiarity of being inside you sends him into a moaning mess with each stroke. You can’t contain your moans and screams. He feels way too good. 

Jimin begins to deep-stroke you by pulling all the way out and slamming back in. You scream his name out in pleasure as your nails scratch up his toned back. Wet sounds fill the room with him picking up his pace. You take a glimpse of him only to admire his figure right now. Forehead forming sweat beads while he groans and moans biting his plump pink lips.

Your breathing becomes faster when that familiar feeling soon starts to take over. You turn your head to the side and let out a string of moans. Jimin isn’t having that though. His hand grabs your face gently and makes you make eye contact with him. Your legs start shaking as your head tilts back moans getting more faster. You finally let out one last one in sync with him, his hot sperm shoots inside of you.

Jimin pulls out, breathing heavily and collapses ontop of you. You let out a small grunt with the sudden extra body upon you, then giggle at him when he lays his head lays against your chest. This is what you wanted. He’s true. He’s sorry. 

‘’ I love you.”

That word surprises you. You weren’t prepared for it. Somehow though, you enjoy the fact that he’s said it to you. Love. Jimin’s love. Your love. 

‘’ I love you much more Jimin.’’ 

[its-me-im-coraline]

A push to the right direction // Victoria De Angelis

words // 1241

warnings // maybe a little cursing, was meant to be a little angsty but I don't think i succeeded in that

pairing // Victoria De Angelis x GN!Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. again, for the millionth time, don't forget that sundays will be for "sleepovers" from now on, so I can have a bit of a break and still give you guys something so yay. also this originally was supposed to be out yesterday but toothace and all I could barely function at all sooooo yeah. I hope you enjoy the little beach vibes and locked in car scenrio 😂

request // yes, it was through messages by @tabi-toast so i'm putting it here

"I’d like to request some friends to lovers with Vic where the boys notice that they like each other and try to push them towards each other? Maybe some angst but mostly lots of fluff hehehe"

summary // Victoria and reader have been friends for a while, both harboring unspoken feelings. While the two are oblivious beyond their minds the boys of the band have figured out all the glances and sublte touches the two share. Well, all they need is a little push to see the truth.

It was simply agonizing. The way the two looked at each other lovingly, staring with adoration every time they were sure they would not get caught, the way they spoke of each other, constantly using the fondest of words… They were both suffering from the unspoken feelings, the constant emotion of (non existent, really) rejection making the bad days harder and the good days bad, taking away from the most important moments they shared. The friends they shared were surely close to taking off, not wanting to see the constant pinning and insecurities that come with it.

The pair tended to be so oblivious to the obvious. Writing off indications of romantic feelings as plain signs of the comfort they had with each other. The hugs, the cuddles, the hair petting, all the pet names, the spontaneous 1 am singing competitions in the car while driving to find some food. They wrote it off as plain and simple platonic affection.

But, after, as the times passed by and the two would not seem to understand the feelings they shared, they would each go to a different member, complaining and even crying about the lack of reciprocation.

“How can you know that, Y/N? You haven’t even told her!”

“Well, I know her! She doesn’t want me Thomas!”

A similar scenarios would apply to Victoria sharing her feelings. They were both so blinded by fear of losing each other that they were blind to the truth. But everyone with eyes was not. Everyone, even people that had never met them before, could see that they were dying to be together, sometimes even assuming that they are… But that only ever resulted in awkward denying and later crying over the non existent rejection.

Currently they were laying on a towel at the beach, cuddled up together while relaxing with the last sun rays of the day and the soft sound of waves. The entire group had decided that a beach day was long overdue, the pool just simply not satisfactory enough. It was not the same to be by the sea, with the waves and the beautiful view, and being by a pool with the superficial lights and all (not that they could really complain).

“So, you mean to tell me that it actually happened?!” Yelled Y/N, laughing at yet another story Victoria shared with them.

“It did! I swear!” Victoria laughed back, caressing Y/N’s back softly as they both laughed.

“Well you need to take me with you next time you visit that place again. Who knows? Maybe another incident like that will happen.”

“I surely will,” she said, leaving a soft kiss on their heads.

“Are you feeling tired, amore?”

“Maybe a little… I had a long day…”

“You can take a nap on me if you need to. I’ll wake you up before Thomas and Damiano go to get us food.”

“I suppose I could,” they responded and settled in for a small nap.

The rest of Måneskin simply stared at the pair while discussing how exactly they were not one. It seemed so obvious to them how they had strong feelings, undeniable ones at that, and they could not stand and watch. Something had to happen.

So they came up with a devious plan. It would piss off Victoria a bit but it would bring the results they needed. Damiano walked to the car they came in, thanking technology with all of his might, in his head, remembering how his car has child-proofing mechanisms at the doors so they can only open from the outside. Thus the plan was in action.

After coming back he simply settled down, going back to doing his own thing - whatever he was doing before and waiting until it was time to move forward with it.

“Agh, I’m starving! When are you guys going for the food?”

“Me too.” Thomas stated before settling back in his chair for a moment.

“Hey, Vic!” He almost yelled, the woman flinching and checking to see if he woke Y/N up.

“What is it Thomas?” her voice was sharp, body quickly moving to walk up to him, making sure to not disturb her crushe’s nap.

“Can you and Y/N go for the food? Honestly I am bored, Damiano said he’s not coming and Ethan is too preoccupied right now.” He pouted and everything, giving the older girl the softest look he could possibly manage, while pointing at Ethan having a phone call.

“Couldn’t you have thought of that before? Seriously, Thomas, right now? They are sleeping.”

“Oh, come on Vic, please! I’ll owe you!”

“Agh, agh, fine, let me wake them,” she paused,”you’re lucky I’m hungry or I would let all of you starve,” she mumbled, annoyed by the boys’ laziness, before going over to the sleeping figure on the towel.

“Hey, amore… come on, sweets, wake up. Hey. Hey,” she repeated softly, a sweet smile on her face as their eyes opened slowly.

“Vic? Oh, are the guys going for the food?”

“Not quite. The guys are being annoying and refuse to go. So, if you want to eat we have to go.”

“Oh, alright then. Give me a moment to wake up,” they said and Victoria smoothed down their sea-salt stained t-shirt.

“Ethan, where are the keys?”

“On the engine, cucciola.”

“Ok, grazie.”

With that the two clueless friends sat in the car, Victoria realizing the keys were missing a little too late.

“Agh, cazzo, Ethan! They are not her- The door isn’t opening. Why is the door not opening?”

“Mine isn’t either.”

“Ethan!” Her voice could be heard crystal clear, even with the windows separating her from the outside.

“What is it, Victoria?” He asked, a smug smile on his face as he stood outside the car window.

“What did you do?”

“Well,” spoke Damiano, “you two clueless, little shits have gotten annoying. So if you are not going to do it, we will.” He stated and Victoria’s eyes almost went out of her head, catching onto what her friend was saying.

“Y/N, Victoria has feelings for you. Victoria, Y/N has feelings for you. Now talk!”

If only glare’s could kill, Ethan would be having a very painful death as Vic kept mumbling how she’ll kill him. Y/N, on the other hand, simply stared at Victoria in adoration.

“Do you have feelings for me?”

“Look Y/N, I-”

“Answer my question Victoria! Do you have feelings for me?”

“Yes,” she replied, looking down as if she was ashamed.

“That’s not how I wanted you to find out. I wasn’t really planning on telling you cause I know that Ethan is lying but-”

“Victoria! Take a breath between sentences! What are you talking about? Ethan is not lying, you know?”

“I know, Y/N, you don’t have to sugarco- Wait, what?”

“He isn’t lying, Victoria. I really like you.” “You do?”

“Mhm, I do. Now, will you give me a kiss or are you waiting for Ethan to smash our heads together,” they joked, easing up the tension Victoria was feeling and pushing their lips to hers.

It was not anything special, just a simple, soft, kiss. What made it special was that it was to each other. They shared a kiss together, not someone else, not a stranger, not someone they had no feelings for, but someone they were yearning for, for a very long time now.

tag list: @bieberhoodforever@tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina

[binniesthighs]

what you heard | reader x changjin

a/n: hi. its missing changjin hours also now I am addicted to poly r/ship fics so here is what my brain came up with hehe (pic creds to OPs!) 

what you heard | reader x changjin 

Pairing: self insert, hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader x seo changbin 

Genre: smut w/ fluffy tones 

Tags: poly r/ship, comfort fic, outdoors sex, friends to lovers, discovery of feelings, idiots in love, with a lil bit of comedy, college au, teehee switch!changbin, switch!hyunjin, switch!reader, they’re all kinda fighting for dominance muhaha (its those bestie vibes ahaha), bratty behavior on all sides, jinnie kinda flips a switch when he gets in the mood (hehe pun intended), spitroasing (r), unprotected sex (stay safe!), sex under the stars hehe, penetration and fingering (r), oral (r & m), face fucking, cumshot, cum eating, that good, good makin’ out, soft and intimate body touching hell yeah, fluffy ending

Word count: 6.8k 

Recommended listening: what you heard by Sonder 

If there was something that you and your two bestfriends were the best at, it was getting your heart broken. 

Hopeless romantics you all were, in one way or another. In fact, it would take even more than your set of three hands to count the number of times that the three of you had come over with a broken heart, seeking ice cream, hugs, or plates to break. 

Changbin was the kind to fall in love slowly, but when he did, it consumed him, and everything that he was. He would become convinced that there was no one better for him in the whole world. He would spend sleepless night writing songs and poetry about those who would occupy his mind. Changbin would write love letter after love letter to never send them, or to have them crinkled into papery balls, and slam-dunked into his waste bin. He would often joke that he was ready to love someone, but he just didn’t quite know how to. Under it all, you and Hyunjin knew that he must’ve been scared if they didn’t love him back. 

Hyunjin fell in love with people at the drop of a hat. It was his “fatal flaw” as he liked to to joke about too. The gorgeous blond man would fall in love over hearts scribbled on coffee cups, smiles in passing, and compliments on days when he had caught the bus late. This man was the kind to sing love songs loudly in the shower no matter who heard him, and would often have a new crush by the week. Unlike Changbin, he had no fear when it came to confessing, but had even worse luck getting someone to take his words seriously. Hyunjin had too much love to give, and never received enough back. 

You, on the other hand, delayed love for as long as you could, no matter how much that you would dream of it. Love came to you in the forms of movies and books, fictional characters and song lyrics. You wrote about the love you had to give in countless journals and on the back of sticky-notes that had been used on the front-side. Love was more of an abstract concept to you. It was never something that you could touch but rather dream about. However, while this wasn’t the worst way to view it all, you still thirsted for something more. A hand to hold, a warm body to tangle up in the sheets with you. 

On this day in particular, you and your friends had gathered for a meeting: your “Unofficial Lonely Hearts Club” as you called it. You couldn’t recall who had called the meeting after the long week that you had, but it was likely what each of you had needed. 

These nights would often start the same: the three of you shoved into Changbin’s pickup, windows down, night air in your lungs, some song on the stereo that Changbin had been into these days. The three of you lived in the typical college city nestled into the side of some mountainside--a stark contrast to where you had come from before. It was the kind of place where people went to forget about who they were before to become new people. For some reason, some crazy fraction of the people who moved there, never left. 

First chance you got, you would move the hell out of there: a place full of so much heartbreak and disappointment…who could dare to stay? 

Hyunjin stuck his hand out the window, making little waves with his palm in the wind. You wondered what he had been thinking of that night; if he was sad or if he was happy. After knowing him for nearly four years now, you knew there was nothing in the world that he deserved more than to feel all the warmth that he had conveyed to others. It was a crime that he never got it back. 

Changbin’s free arm held to the handle above the car door frame, and he flexed and relaxed his muscles as he hung his fingers there. You too wondered what thoughts floated on his mind: if he was making up lyrics or if he was putting together some grad story or gesture only for it to never see the light of day. He too deserved all the love the world could offer. 

Changbin’s car sped up the dirt road to the lookout spot where kids would go to get drunk, high, or possibly both. It was a dreary and empty Wednesday evening, and secretly you hoped that no other rambunctious students would be there to shatter bottles on the craggy rocks. His headlights lit the path ahead, and the car bounced on the rough road with dusty orange rocks. The higher you got to the mountainside, the more static-y the stereo would buzz until soon all that was left were broken lyrics. 

There was one spot you liked particularly: it was a ledge that would jut out horizontally, giving a clear view to the whole of the land below: you would see the white lights from the nearby hospital, and the stadium lights from that god-awful football stadium that had sucked up your student loans. Further, you could see river on the edge of the city-line, and how it would ripple in dark blue sparkles under the moonlight. 

Your two best friends would grab the blankets that were habitually kept in the backseat made of scratchy wool, but this only made them warmer. Changbin also kept a couple camping lamps in his car to light up the dark space of his cargo bed. The weight of your bodies would shake the space and make the car bounce a bit on its wheels when the three of you would cuddle up between eachother to take in the scene. 

On nights like tonight, neither of you would say much, but just look out and feel it all. There was a kind of beauty in the simplicity of the way that everything seemed so still up there, or how time had appeared to stop somewhat. If you were lucky, you could hear the hoot of an owl, or some other critter rustling in the bushes. 

Hyunjin was always the one to sit in the middle, and he would take turns resting his head upon your shoulder or Changbin’s sighing deeply into how they would rise and fall. You hugged your knees to yourself and wondered how many more times you would come up here with them, or if after graduation, it would happen at all. It was painful to consider, but you even wondered if they would be in your life at all after everything ended. 

“I’m sick of being lonely.” Hyunjin said into the cold air. He shifted, looking both you and your other friend in the eyes. “Its depressing and exhausting.” 

“What are you talking bout ‘Jin?” Changbin threw his hoodie over his head.

“I mean moping about people who don’t ever feel the same...feeling sad when it doesn’t go my way...I’m sick of it!! I just wanna like, give up!! Would it be so hard for me to just like, stop feeling??” 

“Oh Jinnie...don’t be ridiculous. You can’t just stop falling in love with people. It’s impossible. Not just for you but...” You exhaled out, “...for all of us.” 

“Yeeeah, I don’t think that you have much control over that.” Changbin agreed. 

“No, seriously!! It’s shit!!” 

You wrapped your arms around him lovingly, nuzzling into his shoulder to sooth him, “I know, I know.” 

“Aren’t you guys sick of it?? The three of us must be cursed or something.” 

Changbin laughed out his little trademark chuckle and ruffled up his friends blond locks. “You’re being dramatic again Hyunjin. It’s not that bad.” 

“Psh! Says you who hasn’t gone on a date in months!” 

“Hey!!” 

You flicked both of your friends on the sides of their heads. “Cut it out, will you? We came up here to relax and forget all that stuff, remember?” 

Hyunjin gave out a sign in his exasperation, turning to fiddle with his little Bluetooth speaker that had definitely seen better days. The last crickets of the season chirped in the early fall air, and the little device booted up with the tiny ringtone that you knew well. 

“Anything we want to listen to in particular?” 

“Whatever you feel like Jinnie.” 

The little blue-white light of his phone illuminated his face, and Hyunjin picked a song that you had likely heard dozens of times before. It was from that artist that he had adored to bits, but only really listened to when he was feeling down. 

“Oh Jinnie.” You hushed, then wrapped your arm around his wide shoulder. “No one deserves you.” 

Changbin let his head fall on the other boy’s shoulder too. When the three of you were close like this with your body heat shared between you, it was cozier than anything imaginable. While you and your two friends weren’t the most touchy of people, there were still times when you could huddle up, and it was no secret that it felt safer than anything. 

Hyunjin chuckled a bit, causing his shoulders to shake. “You know what they say in those movies about people who can’t find love after long?” 

“What’s that?” 

“They say, “By the time that we turn thirty, if neither of us have found love, lets just marry eachother.”” 

Changbin scoffed, “And you’re bringing this up why?” 

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t be the most ridiculous idea if the three of us decided to do that, right? Seeing how the current trend is going?” 

You exchanged adoring and teasing glances with Changbin over your adorably naïve friend. 

“I think you’re missing something out of that equation Jin.” 

His doe-eyes widened, “What’s that?” 

“In all of those movies, it was usually two people who made that promise.” 

“Two people, three people, what does it matter? As of right now, its looking like the only people that we’ve got is eachother.” 

Hyunjin stretched out his hands into his sweater paws and made a little squeak when he cracked his back. 

“What do you say?”

“Hm.” Changbin cleared his throat, “So you’re being serious?” 

“What’s so crazy about it?” Convinced as ever, he counted out the points on his fingers, “We could all live together like we’ve always talked about, we’ll never be lonely and have someone to do things with, we don’t have to be second guessing ever, waiting for someone to call us back...we all already know eachother really well so there will be no surprises...” 

“Oh, so you are being serious about it then?” You ruffled his hair up a bit, just to get a rise out of him like it usually would. 

“I mean...it’s not like it would be hard...right?” 

Changbin sucked at his teeth, “Mm. I guess not.” 

“But isn’t a marriage supposed to be like, having kids, being in love, being...partners?” You added. 

Hyunjin stammered with frantic hands, “W-well, we don’t have to do everything!! Marriage is so conventional these days, we don’t have to follow all the rules, especially since there will be the three of us anyway.” 

Changbin sighed, casting his head up to the ocean-blue sky dotted with silvery constellations and the red blinking lights of airplanes overhead. 

“You’re still forgetting something Jinnie.” 

The blond tiled his head. 

“The part about being in love?” 

The tallest boy shied his hair behind his ear, then tucked his chin into one of the blankets. 

“I mean...I know that I love you guys. I wouldn’t mind spending the time...” 

Your chest buzzed with warmth hearing your friend say it for the first time. It previously had been somewhat of an unspoken phrase between the three of you, but now that he had said it out loud, it felt even more real. 

“Awww, I love you too Jinnie.” 

Changbin scoffed once more and picked with the fraying ends of the blanket. “I guess I do too.” 

The cargo bed grew silent while the three of you chewed on the idea. The longer you thought about it, it started to make sense bit by bit. After all, through all the confusion and the broken hearts, ice cream and broken plates, your little group understood each other better than most. When there were tears to dry, each of you knew exactly what to do. You had loved them all along, you always had. 

“I really love you guys...I think.” Hyunjin finally said, and linked his arms with yours and the other man’s. 

“What are you doing getting all cheesy for, huh?” Changbin nudged him with a smirk. 

“I don’t know, I guess I just never really thought about it like that before.” 

“Like what?” 

“Out of all the people that I’ve “loved” I don’t think that I’ve ever loved them like I have with you both.” 

“What do you mean?” Under the swath of blankets, your knee nudged against his, and he jumped a bit from the feeling. 

Both you and Changbin looked at him attentively and how his lip quivered, and soft eyes glistened from the glow of the lanterns. 

“M-maybe all along...I’ve been in love with you?” 

“Like, in love, in love?” 

“I don’t know...maybe?” He rubbed his eyes like he would’ve had they been lured with sleep. “Maybe I’m just, making things up...I don’t know. It’s getting late.” He laughed out with a tentative breath, “I’m saying things that don’t make sense.”  

Changbin looked out at the stretch of city lights as if he was contemplating the idea himself. 

“I guess that it wouldn’t be impossible.” He said blankly. 

“What!?” You tried to look at both of your best friends as seriously as you could. While your heart started racing, it was as if it was against your will. 

“It’s kinda funny,” Changbin began, “The three of us always complain about how love never really comes our way when we’ve already got it...right here.” 

Logically speaking, it made sense. You and your two best friends really did know eachother better than anyone else ever had. When you had met as scared little 1st years without a clue in the world how to be your own people. You had figured it all out together. The ways that you had showed love to each other had been a bit different--but it was still all the same. If you were to have not met them all those years ago, your life would’ve been drastically different. You couldn’t even picture it. 

Perhaps in all of your little rambles in journals and daydreams, was what you were looking for...them?

“Maybe we were just looking in the wrong place?” You offered, and both of them shrugged. 

“It’s possible.” Hyunjin pulled both of your arms closer to him, and rubbed his cheek into the top of your head, then Changbin’s dark curls. He giggled out, tackling the two of you to lay flat on the cargo bed. It crinkled with a plastic sounding thud, then he wrapped his legs up in both of yours the best that he could. 

Under his arm, you choked a little from his tight grasp, but you eventually let yourself mold into the curves of his body and soak up his warmth. The scratchy wool tickled at your cold fingers, and you soon felt Changbin’s hand come searching for you under the blanket too. It was a bit startling at first, but he reached out to hold your arm, then rubbed small circles into it with his thumb where you rested them on Hyunjin’s chest. 

It was as if he was a bit delirious, but Hyunjin chortled with laugher until he had lost his breath, and his lyrical sounding voice bounced off the cavern of the mountain and echoed up into space. 

“Why do I...weirdly...kinda...wanna make out with you guys right now?” 

Changbin pinched his friend with a teasing grin, “You mean it?” 

Hyunjin pouted with his plush pink lips, “I thought we all just agreed that we were in love with eachother??” 

“Jinnie...” You settled your head into the crook of his neck, right by his collarbones. 

“Damn. Glad I’m not the only one.” Changbin bit a smirk into his lip, then propped himself up on his forearm to gain better ground on you and the other man. 

Your fluttering heart beat it’s way up your throat and into your ears, and your two friends looked at you expectantly. 

“O-outside? Right now?” 

“Yeah, I guess. Why not?” Changbin traced his thumb and index under Hyunjin’s smooth jaw. 

“Aha! So you admit that you want to too!!” Hyunjin beamed and tugged at the sleeves of your own hoodie. 

“I-I didn’t say that...” 

Hyunjin leaned over on his side to face you. “Y/n, how about lets make a deal. We try it out, see how it feels, if it feels weird, we stop and pretend it never happened?” 

“I don’t know Jinnie...this seems pretty friendship ending to me.”

“Isn’t that the point?” Changbin said with a sly grin. 

The tallest boy pleaded to you with nearly needy eyes. “I think that it would feel nice? Besides...none of us have really...felt that...in a while.” 

Changbin’s creeping hands came surveying over Hyunjin’s deep green pullover, and the other boy shivered out a little feeling the touch. 

Hyunjin’s own curious hands reached out to hold both sides of your face gingerly with pink fingertips. 

“I know that I’d like to kiss you...if you’ll let me?” 

Both of your friends waited for you as you took turns checking with both of them. The whole prospect was unimaginable, but now...with both of them in front of you, both more real than anything you could have ever thought up, it started to make all the sense in the world. 

“What do you say?” Hyunjin asked with a dreamy air. It was chilly on that early fall evening, so he tucked up the blankets even higher. It was a simple gesture, but still held multitudes of his care. 

“It doesn’t hurt to try...” 

You felt your face pulled closer to his, and all at once his warmth flooded your lips. It was a strange feeling your friend’s lips on yours like this, but while it was new, it was comfortable. Your friend relaxed himself over you, smiling with the corners of his mouth, and slowly sucking at your lower lip like he didn’t want to startle you with anything too fast. His glossy lips stuck with his favored strawberry flavored Chapstick, and you only wanted to taste more. He hummed with a little happy sound, and his larger hands nearly covered your whole face where he helped tilt your head a little so that he could gift deeper kisses to it. 

Beside him, Changbin shook with a sigh watching the two of you, a different kind of passion growing within him seeing the two of the people that he loved most do something like this. He was a bit unsure at first, but he tucked back his friend’s blonde edges to free the skin of his neck, then sucked little kisses there too. He to was careful, and didn’t want to leave marks, but rather feel the way that Hyunjin’s skin dotted with goosebumps from the feeling and then let kitten-sounding whimpers go from the pressure on his neck. 

While the night itself was nearly too cold to bear, the three of your bodies heated instantly, and you nearly felt as if the sweater that kept you warm was even too much. Hyunjin parted his lips slightly to enter your mouth with his tongue, and it was a feeling so indulgent that you tried to hide from your friend how good he could make you feel out of your own embarrassment. 

Your name slithered from his lips to yours, and you tucked your hands under his sweater, finding Changbin’s hands there too on the other boy’s bare skin. Hyunjin flinched from feeling both sets of hands on his muscles. His abs flared from the attention, and he accidentally bit into your lip feeling the cold pads of fingers on him. 

Now that you had one taste of him your body could only crave more. 

Changbin tilted Hyunjin’s gasping and swollen lips to his own where he took his own turn gifting the other boy his affection. Hyunjin pressed his whole chest into the other man in an attempt to get closer and Changbin’s hands splayed across his back to hold him tightly. The two of them giggled a bit as they roughly worked their way around each other’s mouths. Changbin, a little smaller in the other man’s wide and long arms appeared to swim in him, and the two of them melted between the thick fabric of their clothes. 

Once more your hands went journeying up Hyunjin’s shirt, and you ran your fingers over every curve and twist of his back: from the little dimples above his hips, his ribs, his sweeping shoulder blades and each swelling bit of fleshy dorsal muscle you could get your hands on. You had never realized how curious you had been for him in this way, but it delighted you to feel him this close. 

Legs became anxious under the wool blankets, and tangled up with little regard for personal space, and hips writhed asking for attention that had been kept for them for far too long. 

Changbin moved down Hyunjin’s jaw to give him more kisses to his tender neck, sucking harder this time to imprint little purple marks. You had never taken Changbin to be one to do so, but something told you that he was one to take pride in those that he loved, and wanted them to be his only. 

“B-Bin...” Hyunjin’s voice wavered, no longer loud enough to bounce off the rocks surrounding you. 

From the way that Changbin kissed the other boy, you instantly craved for him to do the same for you. Across the width of your gorgeous blond friend, you tossed around Changbin’s dark and curly strands, and soaked up his warmth to your hand cracking from the cold. 

You called out for him too, and found your hips grinding into Hyunjin’s back, becoming more impatient by the moment. The way that both of them touched you, and each other was...different. There was no fear, no heartbreak, no uncertainty or loneliness. When you thought of it later, it was if the three of you could actually heal from it all for the first time. 

Changbin’s eyes softened hearing you beg for him, and he helped you slide closer to him. 

“Hm. You’re so cute.” He muttered before filling your mouth with his own kisses. Changbin appeared to channel everything that he had in him to give to you--it was no surprise considering the romantic that he was. He was attentive and slow; rough at first, but then melting into something much more infatuating. Hyunjin took his turn swiping his hands up and down your thighs, kneading into the skin, and then tucking up your sweater. He shimmied down your body, pressing soft lips into your belly to make you tremble from the pleasant gesture. He made his way up higher, up to your chest where he exposed even more skin to the cold, but was sure to make up for it by keeping the blankets close. 

Changbin swiped his thumb over both of your lips, smiling as he did so. 

“Have I ever told you that you’re really breathtaking?” He said with a tone so sultry it was a bit laughable. 

“I don’t think so?” 

He too took a greedy hand down your chest where Hyunjin nipped lightly, admiring the way that you had looked under the moonlight. He brought his fingers back to your lips, giving you a tiny and accidental taste of his fingertips, then promptly resumed the kisses that you had asked for. 

Hyunjin worked his way back up your body, stopping at last to lap lightly into your neck with tiny fleeting love bites and delighted in the way that he could see them fade onto your skin--almost like you and him were a matching set now.

Changbin broke his lips from yours, creating a tiny wet sound with a thin string of his saliva on your your bottom lip.

Hyunjin played with the elastic of your sweatpants, gasping out a bit once he saw your legs rub together in the absence of friction. His eyes wandered slowly to his other friend who had grinded his hips down into the cargo bed with a quivering length.

“Are we about to do what I think we are?” He asked, both thrilled and shocked.  

“Seems like it.” Changbin said simply after going to caress the other man’s cheek.

“Damn. I was not expecting this night to go like this.” Your voice shook, either from anticipation, or from the cold--you couldn’t quite tell.

“Me neither...but I’m not mad about it.”

“Friendship offically ruined?” Hyunjin said with a mischievous little smile.

The breeze blew through, wrapped up in the smell of the crisp mountain air. Hyunjin’s little speaker played on with his songs that you still knew the names of. There wasn’t too much light, just the glow from the inside of Changbin’s car and his lanterns, but it was just enough to take in your friends fully--the ones that you had cared for so much, you didn’t even known how much you had. While you would’ve been worried about getting caught on that Wednesday night, this mattered little.

“I’d say so.” You answered, and it was exactly what they had wanted to hear.

The three of you opted to keep your tops on to fight off the elements, but under the covers, you each jiggled off pairs of joggers, jeans and sweatpants. The car bounced once more as the three of you readjusted. As soon as bare legs intertwined and the thin fabric of undergarments got thrown into the mix, you each got louder and more desperate for wandering touches that could quell your desires.

With twisted and oversized socks, Hyunjin straddled both sides of Changbin’s head, letting the other man palm the outline of his dick and squeeze at it harshly until he shivered over the smaller man’s frame.

“Damn Jin...” Changbin groaned seeing the other’s length. “You’ve been packing and didn’t feel like sharing?”

“S-shut up.” Hyunjin whined as the other teased him.

You worked bite after bite down Changbin’s torso, sucking lightly, then harder. After long, you found that it tickled him a little--this knowledge you would save for another time.

He wore baggy boxers which hid the full girth of his dick that swelled with his erection that bopped and only appeared to grow larger once you and released him. Thick veins wrapped around his length, and his tip flared where you grabbed him into your palm.

“I could say the same to you, Bin.” You teased your friend.

Hyunjin turned to see for himself, laughing out, seeing the way that it looked in your smaller hand.

“Bin, what the fuck?”

“...Intimidated are you?”

The other boy tossed his head back, hair getting caught in his hoodie. “No...”

Changbin snapped the elastic to Hyunjin’s briefs just because he liked the sound, then pulled the other’s member out to pump at the considerable length with his fist. The blonde boy choked out a gasp at the strong grip, and Changbin dug his fingers around the other’s waist to bring in him closer.

“What me to suck this pretty dick of yours?”

“Do I even need to answer that question?” Hyunjin snarked.

Further down, you worked your own hand around Changbin’s cock which you had lathered at first with your spit. Obscene sounds of the liquid cupped in your hand, then you worked your mouth down to his gloriously thick thighs. Something overtook you then, and all you wanted to to was ravage them, make them all yours, mark them as yours, and make the quiver all because of you.

Your fingernails dug into the fleshy and squishy skin, and Changbin moaned out forcefully feeling the sting.

“Feels good?” You asked with a wicked grin, then returned to sucking bruises into the inner parts of his thighs.

“You’re gonna...gonna distract me.” He sighed out, still jerking the other boy away.

Hyunjin swiped away the other man’s curly bangs so he could see him fully. He guided his length over Changbin’s mouth, teeth clenched with a tight exhale once he felt the warmth of the other’s tongue lapping up the sides of his shaft.

Your teasing was enough, and you finally granted your friend what he wanted. With a girth as wide as he had, it was somewhat of a challenge, but a challenge that you gleefully expected. He had puffed up your cheeks fully, and you could barely take in half is length without it testing the back of your throat. Still, you focused your breath coming out of your nose, and swallowed him down deeper. Your eyes wetted from the simulation to your gag reflex, but you held on for as long as you could. At last, your wish was granted, and his marked up thighs shook just for you.

“Bin...fuck.” The blond shuddered upon coaxing himself fully into his friend’s mouth. He moaned out sinfully feeling the twist of the other man’s tongue.

To give yourself a moment’s pause, you stopped, gasping over your friend’s slit, teasing your tongue around his head, dipping down to the place where he dripped with beads of precum.

Changbin laughed out breathily, swearing easily and calling out your name too with a rasp to his tone. “S-shit...”

“Getting too distracted?” Hyunjin purred, seeing the other man made a wreck by you. “What about me?”

“S-sorry.” Changbin admitted, wetting his lips and taking back Hyunjin’s cock into his hollowed cheeks.

As you swallowed around him, your friend rutted his hips just slightly, his lust overtaking him.

“Oh fuck, just like that, mm--” Hyunjin cooed, getting lost in his own ecstasy with head thrown back, and his sweater paws melting down to Changbin’s quaking chest where he supported himself.

You worked your hand and mouth up and down around the pulsating vein’s of your best friend’s length, lazily letting him feel your flattened tongue, then switching to let him feel the tightness of your throat.

Hyunjin sighed out heavily as looked down at his friend who had taken him so well. It was almost as if he felt cheated from the crappy head that he had been getting in dirty bathrooms and semi-public dressing rooms. It was dangerous in the way that Changbin would stroke him languidly, then let his drool wet his tip.

Further down your hips, the pent up heat from your own sex ached on the cool plastic of the cargo bed, and you grinded your hips down for any simulation you could get. 

The blonde man whimpered out after long, feeling even hazier the longer that Changbin continued on. “Binnie...you’re...feels really--fuck--so, good...”

It was as if the words hand been a trigger for him, but your friend pulled his length for your mouth, panting out like a dog, while also robbing Hyunjin of all feeling.

“Don’t-don’t wanna cum yet...” He laughed out, “I was really fucking close.”

Hyunjin pouted, then turning back and look at you with a bit of your own saliva running down your neck.

“Your turn now.” He nearly whispered, then crawled down the other man’s body to jerk at him lightly.

“Jin! I-I--” He clenched his teeth.

“Lay down, y/n. Is there any way that you want it?”

“A-anything. Anything that you want to do. I-I don’t care.” You begged, falling under his spell.

“Aw. Cute.” He added once he had seen the purple marks on Changbin’s thighs.

You fell back under the two of them, opening yourself up for them to do as they wished. First, Hyunjin crept down your body with as much care as he could--beautiful in the way the he looked close to you like this. 

Hyunjin’s hand cascaded down your chest, then belly, all the way down to your own twitching and wetted sex, and you keened directly into his touch. 

“Wouldn’t you like my fingers? Filling you up...” He asked softly, finally sinking down far enough so that you could feel his words swirl over your exposed arousal, then pressing light kisses into you. “...as deep as you can take it?” 

“Mm-yes.” You squeaked, opening your legs further for him. 

Your other friend settled beside you, tilting your chin nearer to him. Just barely, his lips grazed over you, breathing in your air with his hooded eyes glued to your weakened form under the hands of the other boy. 

“You’re that excited?” Hyunjin mocked, “We’ve barely touched you.” 

“Quit talking and just get to fucking me, got it?” You demanded, mustering all of your strength. 

“Oh-ho! I didn’t take you for one to bite back.”

Changbin bit a proud little smile into your lip, wrapping his arms around you. The blond man then toyed with your entrance, licking his fingers, wetting them, then pushed them slowly into your needy hole. 

“Ahhh, look at that, so fucking tight around my fingers, You want it that bad?” 

His long and lithe digits filled you up where he started to thrust them in and out, using his free hand to push your jolting thighs back. Your right hand traversed it’s way under the blankets which you had readjusted, all the way down to Changbin’s leaking length which still blushed red. You wrapped around him carefully, promising his to lips that you would go easy on him. 

As Hyunjin curled his fingers, the other man then reached down to rub at you fervently, matching the pace at which Hyunjin flicked his wrist. Your hips lurched feeling the combination of each sensation, and you cried out loudly for the two of them--the sound itself bounced off that empty space where the three of you existed, almost as if you were calling out for the whole starry sky to hear you. 

“I-I think that we were really missing out on something...” You joked with an airy breath and both of your friends joined you. 

Changbin’s teeth caught his lip as your hand squeezed and twisted, and you could see with every ounce of restraint that he had, he was holding back. 

“Way to make me want to fuck you sideways, huh?” He said with a little grin, observing the size difference between your hand and his member. 

Your back arched when Hyunjin reached in even deeper, and you dissolved into the pleasure that he brought you--an amazing kind of all-consuming feeling that shattered your will, and sent you mewling out into your other friends mouth. 

“I-I can’t wait anymore,” You begged, clawing right into Hyunjin’s golden trellises. 

Changbin scooched up quickly, taking half of the blankets with him, thankfully giving the other boy a nod when he let him be the one to use your entrance. With his brutish hands, he flipped you to your stomach, and hiked up your hips too, cold fingers holding them in place. Hyunjin kneeled permitting you access to his cock which as softened slightly, so he pumped himself back into place with his eyes holding yours. 

At first, Changbin teased you with his tip, adding pressure to your twitching hole, then guided himself in bit...by bit. 

The blonde tapped his dick to your lips, holding firmly the back of your neck as you took him in and choked out at the way that the other stretched your walls. Changbin grabbed at your ass in handfuls starting slowly, grinding his hips in little circles to simulate you deeper. 

“Hm. Who would have known that your pretty little hole would be so perfect for me? Guess we really were missing out on something.” 

Hyunjin growled lowly feeling his cock slide down to the back of your throat, brows crossed, and the bottom of his hoodie resting just above his hips. 

“Squeeze my leg if it becomes too much, okay? ...I’m gonna fuck your mouth, okay?” 

You nodded best you could, and he started to thrust carefully, every few seconds you would hold his member to drag it against the sides of your cheeks, causing him to huff out loudly at the fleshy bits of your mouth. 

Changbin quickened his pace, doubling over your back as he lost himself in you, grunting out in his rhythm. From both sides, your best friends used you, resorting to something much more feral as they edged themselves closer. From the motions, the car rocked back and fourth like a bed and it’s headboard. 

You too felt the tension build deeply in your core, and it begged with reckless abandon at your dizzy mind that drew itself closer and closer into the feeling of being utterly all theirs. 

In many ways, you guessed that you always had been--while it had been unspoken at the time. Now, having the two of them wholly like this under the silver sheen of the moon, the cold biting at your skin, then furiously met with your heat, you could no longer see them as the two broken souls whom you had bonded with at first. They were now everything, everything that you had wished and hoped for.

Even now that you had become much more to each other, there was nothing that could take away the closeness that you had shared with them. 

“F-fuck--gonna cum--” Changbin announced while he pounded frantically. The other man rolled his hips into your mouth quicker too, seeking the same kind of release. 

“Y/n?” He said with a broken breath, and you muffled out a moan to let him know that you were nearly there too. 

“Oh shit, oh shit--” 

Changbin grunted out, with a bit of panic to his voice, forcefully removed himself from you seconds before he spilled his white seed onto your hole, then sending it dripping down your leg. 

“Oh fuck--s-sorry--” He gasped out, still jerking his cock while he pulsed. 

“Bin!! What the fuck??” Hyunjin yelled out, his words quickly turned into mumbles of nonsense when you took him down as deeply as you could manage without gagging, focusing only on him even though your sex ached feeling so empty.  

When he had come down after a few moments, Changbin took to fucking your walls once more with his thick fingers, not even caring that he had fucked his white warmth back into you at the same time. Meanwhile, he returned to rubbing of your sensitive flesh, trying to replace the feeling he had robbed you of. 

“Cum for me baby, cum for me.” 

On cue, you came in waves, shuddering over Changbin’s fingers slicked with his cum, just as your other friend released down your throat and the warm liquid painted your tongue. 

His blissful moans turned into light chuckles as he milked himself into your mouth, giving you every last drop. Changbin drove you further, overstimulating you to the point where your knees nearly gave out, and you had to beg him to slow. 

After each of your bodies collapsed weakly to the bed of blankets and rejected clothing, you drew the covers back up over yourselves, feeling the cold seep in once more. Both of your friends kissed perfect adoring kisses into your raw lips, tasting the both of themselves on your skin. While your thighs still stuck with your friend’s cum, it didn’t matter as much now that you had huddled up cozily into their arms. 

“Bin, you asshole!!” Hyunjin jested, and flicked the other boy’s forehead. “You fucking finished before you were supposed to!!” 

“What the hell was I supposed to do?? I’d already edged myself enough!!” 

“You could’ve tried!!” 

“Whatever, it felt fucking amazing, don’t blame me.” He added with a smug smirk, “You felt fucking amazing, y/n.” 

“Did it feel good for you too, y/n?” Hyunjin gingerly asked, falling right back to his soft and adorable composure that you knew well. 

“Like Bin said, it was fucking amazing.” 

“So we all agree then? We won’t forget that this happened?”

You gave Hyunjin a little nod to say yes, and your group of three hugged eachother even closer. You hadn’t noticed it, but at some point, Hyunjin’s music had turned off. 

“So, this means that we’re like, a thing now?” Changbin asked, playing with the drawstring to your hoodie. 

You peppered Hyunjin’s forehead with a tiny kiss. “I’d like to be.” 

He nuzzled into the crook of your neck and reached out for Changbin across the expanse. “Me too.” 

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @lunarskzzz

[adorethedistance]

A Pretty Good Bad Idea - Owen Joyner x Reader

JATP masterlist

Warnings: swearing, peer pressure kinda, very mild n fluffy

Words: 1865

Summary: Touring with the Julie and The Phantoms cast as a dancer has been the best time of your life, and the only thing that could make it better is the reciprocated affections of a cute, blond drummer.

A/N: So this piece is 1) inspired by this interview and 2) entirely self indulgent. It’s something I haven’t been able to get out of my mind every time I’m doing warm ups, and putting it down on ,, digital paper is my only way to get rid of it lmao. I hope y’all enjoy bc I know this scenario makes me really happy and I love sharing my joy with y’all.

I let out an involuntary whine when I roll forward into my almost-center splits. My hips are so sore from yesterday’s performance I had to force myself to start stretching in the first place. Getting a head start, I arrived at the concert venue an hour earlier than call time to get my lengthy stretching routine out of the way before the other girls show up. Slowly but surely, the rest of the dancers arrived and we began getting ready together.

“I have a speaker!” Tori announces to the room upon entering which makes me jump up from my seat.

“Yes! May I do the honors and bless y’all with my musical theatre playlist?” The rest of the group cheers, exposing themselves for the theatre kids that we are. After hearing the chime that signifies the speaker-phone pairing, a few seconds pass before “Cell Block Tango” begins to play. The entire group feigns outrage but we know all the words and soon indulge in such shameful pandering. A good pre-show playlist is what really gets me amped up for performing and after yesterday’s queue of ‘today’s hits’ pop, the musical theatre is a nice change of pace.

Since I’d gotten here so early, I decided to do my makeup before stretching and I still had time to spare. The only thing left for me to do was to get in costume but I’d wait until a little closer to showtime so that I could still eat and drink for the time being. This also meant I was free to roam and bother other people as they got ready, doing what I’d done almost an hour ago.

“So, Y/n?”

“Hm?”

“What’s going on with you and Owen?” I feel my breathing halt for a microsecond before looking up at, one of the other dancers and also my friend, Ella. My eyebrows are cinched in confusion as I try my best to figure out what it is she’s getting at.

“I don’t know, Ella. What is going on with me and Owen?”

“Oh come on. Your Instagram story from yesterday?” Oh. That.

“We just went to lunch?” I seemingly ask more than state.

“Yeah. Just the two of you. Don’t hold out on us, we wanna know what’s going on!”

“Really, Ella, there’s nothing going on. We’re just getting to know each other better.”

“Just getting to know each other better? Or getting to know each other better?” Tori butts in, dusting her cheeks with a subtle highlight.

“The first one?”

“How many times have you hung out?”

“Just the once.”

“Are you planning another date?”

“It wasn’t a date-”

“Do you want us to help wingman you?”

“I really don’t-”

“Hey.” The rapid-fire of questions cease when the gang of us look up to see Owen himself standing in the doorway.

“Speak of the devil,” Tori snickers as the rest of the girls slowly disperse and smugly resume doing their makeup. Owen makes a face in reaction to her comment but chooses not to pry.

“Could I borrow some hairspray? This one piece of hair won’t stay.” Despite each of the girls having a full can of hairspray on hand, nobody makes a move to give him the product, indicating that I should be the one to help him out. Rolling my eyes at the look Ella is giving me through the mirror, I stand from my chair and hand Owen the can of hairspray. He then looks straight ahead and moves to use the product but I stop him before he can.

“What’s your plan?”

“What?”

“Are you just gonna spray the piece?”

“...yeah?”

“That’s not gonna work since the rest of your hair already has product in it. Can I help you?” Owen nods amiably and takes a seat after I gesture for him to sit in my chair. I then realize my mistake as I need the comb on the grey countertop, and have to consequently reach past Owen in a way that wouldn’t be so compromising had I not worn such a low-cut top. Thankfully it’s over as fast as it began, and walking to the sink in the corner of the dressing room, I run the cool water over the bristles. It isn’t until I turn off the tap that I notice how eerily quiet the room had gotten. None of the girls are talking, attentively studying my every move as I cross back to Owen.

“Is this Chicago?”

“Uh, yeah, We’re listening to my musical theatre playlist though, not the whole soundtrack,” I respond in spite of the nervous laugh that falls from my lips. The slight slouch in Owen’s posture doesn’t help me to see what I’m doing clearly enough. Using my index finger and an upturned palm, I tilt his chin up to get a better look at his hair, willfully ignoring the fact that he’s staring at me right now.

Still, silence fills the room as I take the wet comb through the front section of his hair where the stubborn strand won’t stay put. Once the water binds the pieces together, I grab my can of hairspray and struggle to uncap it. The outside is slick from god knows what, but thankfully Owen doesn’t let me struggle anymore and holds up his hands to wordlessly offer his help. I hand him the can, and he pops the top off after barely struggling. Handing the can back to me, he holds onto the lid, and the entire exchange remains completely silent.

I have to work quickly in my next step, but it’s not enough to distract from the fact that everyone in the room is watching me intently. Holding the aerosol can away from the crowd of people, I put some of the product on the comb and quickly work it into Owen’s hair while it’s still wet. Once the comb has formed his hair to my liking, I stop brushing it through in fear of the now dry hairspray ruining the shape. Then, I use my left hand to shield Owen’s eyes from getting any product in them before spraying the offending area to seal in my hard work.

The sound of a cell door sliding closed signifies the end of the song, and I wait for a second, eagerly anticipating the next song to play. Upon hearing the staccato piano notes of “Bad Idea” from Waitress, a smile appears on my face.

“I love this song.” Lunging back on my right leg, I create a little distance between us to make sure I didn’t completely butcher the rest of his hair, singing as I do.

“It’s a bad idea, me and you.”

“I know, I totally agree.” Pleasantly surprised by his joining in, my smile grows bigger.

“It’s a bad idea, me and you.”

“I’ve never known anything so true-”

“It’s a terrible idea, me and you.” The effortlessness that the two of us find in harmonizing is a genuine shock and an absolute thrill all at once. Once Owen sees how excited I am by his joining in me, it’s like a switch had been flipped; the two of us immediately slip into Actor Mode and begin to sing the song as if we were performing it on a Broadway stage.

“You have a wife.” I take a small step back out of the character’s hesitation.

“You have a husband.” Owen mirrors my action.

“You’re my doctor-” I cross my arms across my chest, but release my right hand to gesture to Owen standing in front of me.

“You’ve got a baby coming-” He uses both hands to gesture back to me in my ‘pregnant’ state.

“It’s a bad idea, me and you,” the two of us turn slightly away from facing one another in false bashfulness. When the music picks up, the two of us avidly step toward one another to come together. In perfect synchronization, I grab Owen’s forearms and his hands face upwards to hold onto my elbows.

“Let’s just keep kissing ‘til we come to.”

“Heart, stop racing, let’s face it-” Owen pivots his step out to the side to face forward, extending his right arm which cues me to turn into him and take his other hand to spin out.

“Making mistakes like this will make worse what is already pretty bad.” Then he extends his right arm forward, and I turn into him once again.

“Mind, stop running. It’s time we just let this thing go.” Instead of spinning out again, I stop in front of him where he wraps both of his arms around me.

“It was a pretty good bad idea,” in our harmony I cast my gaze upward to see Owen staring right back down at me, and I feel like I’m seeing stars, “Wasn’t it though?”

The two of us continue dancing and singing with one another as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist. It’s only the two of us, here and now. The other girls in the room don’t miss the way I seem to smile like never before, and I sure as hell don’t miss the way my stomach fills with butterflies. When he holds me so close and dear for each intimate moment of the song, I’m seeing stars. A bold happiness consumes me, the same happiness I felt when Owen and I laughed over lunch in that small pizzeria.

The final harmony draws the song to a close and when it finishes, the two of us fall into a breathless kind of laughter.

“I didn’t take a big enough breath for that last part.”

“Me neither.”

“Your hair stayed intact.”

“I must have a pretty good stylist.”

After recovering from our laughter the two of us wind up in a palpable stupor as we stare into one another’s eyes. A few blinks and my trance is broken, I become aware of our surroundings.

“I should get dressed soon, and you definitely need to get dressed.” Owen nods still somewhat breathless.

“Yeah. See you later for pulse?”

“Save me a spot,” I joke as he backs out of the threshold of our dressing room. Leaning against the doorframe I watch him disappear into his assigned dressing room with a small smile still lingering on my features.

“Just getting to know each other my ass!”

“What the heck was that?”

“Are you sure you don’t want us to wingman you?”

“Do you even need a wingman after something like that?”

Turning on my heel, I face the bunch of insatiable dancers and shake my head in disbelief.

“We were just acting, you guys.”

“Liar.”

“Excuse me?”

“Maybe you were acting, but he sure as hell wasn’t. Did you see the way he was looking at you? He is totally in love with you.” Ella shakes me by my shoulders.

“He’s just a really good performer is all.”

“When is your next date?” she completely ignores me.

“Okay-”

“Oh, and I want to be the maid of honor at your wedding-”

“It was just a song, Ella.”

“-Oh my god you guys are gonna have the cutest kids! I mean, your hair with his eyes and cheekbones? Ahh! The cutest.”

***

A/n: the way that being on tour isn’t the most unrealistic part of this fic, but instead Owen actually knowing the lyrics is? Work diva.

Taglist: @caitsymichelle13​ @kaitlyn2907​ @itz-jas​ @crybabyddl​ @kcd15​ @kinda-really-lost​ @calamitykaty​ @morganayenneferburnham​ @n0wornever​ @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ @mrstodorooki @vicesvsvirturesfanfic @curlybrownhairedboys​ @amazinggracy​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @asdfghjkl-fanfics​ @ghostlygreenbean​ @juliefromaustralia @merceret​ @jemimah-b99​ @ifilwtmfc​ @thesweetestsinner​ @imsydneywalker​ @lovesanimals​ @thebloodthirstyvampress​ @bumbleberry-pie​ @losers-club6​ @tefilovesreading​ @dmcfarland1​@joynerxmercer @kexrtiz​ @talk-on-the-street​ @phantompogues​ @konciousdreamer​ @sunsetcurvej​ @warmnesss0ul​ @celestialmolina​ @lilyjoyner​ 

[holykillercake]

Strawberry and Cigarretes

pairing: Sanji x Reader

word count: 2.6k

highlight: ¨Everything hurt, and for the first time, you wished to forget what the ocean sounded like.¨ 

warnings: slight angst

notes: This was a request from @vemuabhi​! <3 Very special because it was my first ever request! I wanted to doge the obvious path (which I almost took) and do something that didn´t involve Whole Cake Island, so maybe it is not the biggest angst (hats off to Mr. Oda cause he is Father angst) but I did my very best! I hope you all enjoy and Happy Birthday, Sanji-kun! <3

𝕃𝕖𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤, 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤, 𝕠𝕣 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤!

Do you remember when you were a kid, and you´d find a shell laying on the sand? And you would pick it up and put it on your ear, hoping to listen to the ocean? It´d always make a smile grow on your face before you tossed it aside and jumped into the water.

That time was different. When you heard the ocean share its endless secrets and tell its adventurous stories, you just wanted to sit there all day and listen. 

This specific event happened a couple of months after you joined the Strawhats. Chopper had borrowed you his stethoscope cause you thought it was cool, and in the middle of thousands of things you´ve already heard in your life, good and bad, the heartbeat was something that you were oblivious to. 

Some would think that asking to hear someone else´s heartbeat was weird, but inside the Thousand Sunny... well, those guys put ¨weird¨ on another level, and you would have to work your ass off to surpass that. 

Chopper got all blushed when you leaned closer to his tiny and furry torso, Usopp told you stories about a war he once won but had to have his heart replaced by a lion´s, Franky said that if you wanted to see a heart he could simply pull it out for you, Brook invested on the same ¨Oh, I don´t have a heart. Yohohoho¨ joke, Zoro let you listen to his wrist, Nami and Robin almost had you sinking into their generous breasts, and Sanji... you left him for last because you didn´t know how to ask him. So you just tiptoed quietly inside the kitchen, sneaked behind him, and tried to listen to his heart through his back. You feared that your nose would start bleeding if he faced you while you were doing it. 

That was exactly what he did, by the way. He poured more water into the stew he was cooking and turned around, putting out his cigarette so ashes wouldn´t fall on you. Immediately you began to sweat, your breath quickened, and hold the stethoscope with a steady hand became a herculean task. 

His lean fingers moved to the collar of his blue shirt and started to unbutton a few, enough for you to have better access. At that point, you believed that the reason why you weren´t bleeding yet was that you were slowly having a stroke, and Sanji´s action was God´s gift to you for being a good person while alive. 

Then he didn´t do anything else, just put both hands in his pockets and waited while you listened to every single bubble popping inside his chest like you were afraid to miss one. In the end, he tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and went back to his stew.

But that was all about it. The following months were just like any other, the crew kept acting as weird as their minds allowed, and you kept shutting whatever your stupid heart was yelling at you. Although... if you could be honest for one moment, deep down you were hurt. 

Maybe you scared or crept him away with your childish curiosity. Maybe he had noticed your feelings for him and got disgusted. Well, not disgusted, he probably didn´t like you the same way and didn´t know how to tell you, so keeping words to a minimum was his way to go. 

He stopped singing and twirling around you, he´d rather call your name respectfully; when you shared the night watches, he just remained quiet by your side, answering briefly to your questions or comments; he even stopped trying to sneak into your baths or make suggestive comments - which you didn´t love before, but you know, you only miss something when it's gone. 

The whole crew had noticed the change in both of your behaviors, but they too were not sure how to address it. Whenever someone asked something about it you would say ¨Really? I didn´t notice anything.¨. Either too proud to confront him or too afraid of the truth. 

~

¨Oi, you ok?¨ Zoro asked, breaking into your personal bubble of sadness. 

You knew it was Zoro because you two were taking the night watch, but you didn´t expect him to show interest or concern about your upset state. 

The night was chilly, so you were sitting on Sunny´s grass, arms around your knees, holding them close to your chest to keep the warmth. 

¨Why do you care?¨ you answered bitterly, but he didn´t mind since he was the king of freaking Bitter Land. 

¨I don´t. But I´ll go crazy if I hear you sigh one more time.¨ he sat close to you, not too close, just enough for you to listen to each other.

A chuckle left your mouth involuntarily, you never expected his grouchy temper would come in handy in times like this. Then your frowned expression came back, and you let out another sigh. 

Before you realized Zoro had pushed you with his Sandai Kitetsu scabbard, making you fall to your side with a squeak. 

¨I told you.¨

You sat again, taking some grass off your leg ¨Yeah. Can´t deny it.¨

¨Yeah, you´ve been doing that a lot lately.¨ 

He didn´t look like he was teasing you, his eyes focusing on the line where the sky met the ocean, where the stars disappeared and became blurry white brushes on the water. 

¨I... I don´t-¨

¨I think you can do better than the stupid cook.¨he kept his usual tone ¨ But I guess we don´t get to choose these things.¨ 

You were taken aback by his words, and despite you trying to fight your lips from trembling and tears from falling, it was useless. You had been crushing these feelings inside you for too long, and it killed you the more you ignored it. 

The swordsman wasn´t saying those things because he loved you or anything like that, but because the entire crew - except for Luffy - had already noticed and began acting weird about it. And despite being the captain´s duty to solve any problem or an uncomfortable situation, your captain was a bit too oblivious, so he had to step in. 

Besides, his nakama was getting hurt. He didn´t care about the ero cook. 

¨If you want me to beat him up... just let me know.¨ 

He said it to cheer you up - not that he didn´t mean, he´d do it for much less - but nothing seemed worth smiling for now. You just bit your lip in order to avoid an embarrassing whining, since you were unable to stop the painful tears from rolling down your cheeks. 

Everything hurt, and for the first time, you wished to forget what the ocean sounded like.

¨W-What should I do?¨

¨That´s not my problem to solve, Y/N.¨ he stood up beside you ¨But sometimes, when I have a difficult problem that I can´t solve my way...¨ his gaze still locked with the horizon ¨... I think about what my captain would do.¨ he left without any further words, leaving you not only sad but confused as well. 

You slept on it for the next couple of days, still not understanding what he meant. Maybe he just wanted to leave the conversation and said whatever came to mind. But even that didn´t fit right. If he didn´t want to be stuck in an uncomfortable conversation, he wouldn´t have started one. 

So you took as a personal mission to observe your captain until you learned how to think like him, hoping that figuring that out would solve your problem. 

You had joined the crew as a historian, the person responsible for writing down every adventure meticulously, every tiny detail of every battle, and every glorious victory along the Strawhats journey. So in one dusk, when you were in charge of the night watch with Robin and the moon was full and bright, you took your journals and began rolling through the pages, looking for a pattern, something that anticipated every major decision of your captain.

You even borrowed old diaries from the time you were not part of their crew. The stories lacked details, but they served to paint a picture. Basically:

Luffy insults an ugly lady, saves a kid, eats something, finds Zoro, beats the crap out of a crazy marine, saves the day, gets his first crewmate. 

Luffy gets eaten by a bird, then vomited in a town, finds Nami, eats something, is put in a cage, beat the crap out of some pirates, saves the day.

 Luffy wants a new ship, meets Usopp, eats something, gets thrown from a cliff, beats the crap out of some pirates, saves the day, gets Going Merry and a liar. 

Luffy wants a cook, explodes a restaurant, becomes a waiter, eats something, meets Sanji, beats the crap out of some pirates, saves the day, gets a cook. 

Luffy eats something, finds the fishmen, goes for a walk, is thrown in the water, beats the crap out of some pirates, saves the day, gets a navigator.

Luffy wants a doctor, eats everything, fights some crazy ass bunnies, climbs a mountain, meets Chopper, beats the crap out of some pirates, saves the day, gets a doctor. 

Luffy eats something, wants to fix Going Merry, meets Franky, loses Robin, beats the crap out of some world government agents, saves the day, gets an archeologist, a shipwright, and Thousand Sunny. 

Luffy hears a ghoulish singing, finds a speaking skeleton in a busted ship, has his shadow stolen, beats the crap out of some Warlord of the Sea, gets a musician.

When you finished the last journal, the weight of your body pushed you to the floor, and you laid on your back for a couple of minutes, overwhelmed by the amount of information in your head.

¨I know what to do...¨ you took a deep breath ¨... I´m gonna eat something.¨

You mumbled something to Robin, telling her that you´d be back in a few minutes, and wandered to the kitchen. 

As soon as you entered the room a sweet and comforting aroma like whipped cream and strawberries invaded your senses, making your head turn to the counter immediately. 

¨Y/N-chan...¨ the cook said.

You opened and closed your mouth a couple of times, looked at him, and then to your feet, your fingers fidgeting as a sign of your anxious state. 

¨D-Didn't know you were awake.¨ you marched to the table and helped yourself with some sugar cookies.

¨Oh... It won´t take much longer...¨ you heard his muffled voice somewhere in the back of your mind, all you could hear was the blood pumping in your ears ¨... cake because today is my birthday and I thought we...¨ your vision was focused on the cookie jar, crushing the granular biscuit with your fingertips ¨...and I...I didn´t know if-¨

¨What would Luffy do?¨ you whispered to yourself.

¨W-What?¨ 

¨What would Luffy do?¨ 

The question wasn´t for him, it was for you. You felt something growing inside your chest, like the blood that pumped in your heart was boiling and burning, giving you the strength and courage you needed. 

¨I have been trying to find answers to a lot of things, you know?¨ you stood up to face the cook, palms spread on the table, ¨I ... do you hate me, Sanji?¨ 

He stopped what he was doing and let the knife rest on the cutting board. When his gaze found yours, there was no way back. That is what Luffy would do. He´d eat something, do whatever came to his mind, and deal with the consequences. No need to go back. 

¨Y/N-chan... why do you...¨

¨I mean, I ask this because...¨ you clenched your hands, cursing yourself for feeling the need to cry ¨I can´t take this anymore, Sanji! If I did something to offend you or if I said something...¨ your voice was broken and weak, and you were a mess of tears and sobs ¨You don´t have to love me back, that´s not what I am saying, but... I can´t stand-¨

¨Y/N-chan... why do you think I hate you?¨ he wiped his hands with a towel and made his way towards you, slowly.

¨Oh, come on, Sanji... You treat me differently, you´re cold and distant, you don´t say a word to me even when we share night shifts! If you don´t hate me, then this must be a sick game you´re playing.¨ your legs felt wobbly, and you sat back in the chair, not being able to face him anymore.  The courage and strenght you had minutes ago was gone.

You just watched him get closer and kneel in front of you, his cold fingers gently brushing away the hot tears on your cheeks. 

¨I could never hate you, Y/N.¨ he said softly ¨I am sorry I made you feel like this, I am sorry I made you cry...¨ his fingers touched your trembling lips. 

¨Then why...¨

¨I didn´t want to scare you away like I always do, Y/N... I know I can be too much sometimes, with the nose bleeding and everything. But that´s how I am, and I didn´t want you to think of me as an idiot... so I prefer being silent, then say something stupid and... ¨ 

¨You don´t have to say this. I don´t need pity talk...¨you spoke as more tears fell, giving him a chance to take his statement back.

¨I have to, Y/N. But not because of pity talk.¨ he gently pressed his forehead against yours, like bunnies do when they apologize. 

¨Then why?¨ 

¨Because I love you, Y/N.¨ the blonde closed the space left between the two of you, kissing you passionately. 

He helped you get up without breaking the kiss and leaned you against the kitchen table, his hands holding your body close while yours ran through his golden hair. His mouth tasted like strawberries and cigarettes, a flavor to which you could easily get addicted. 

You parted the kiss just enough to get some oxygen, your noses were touching, and you could feel his heavy breathing against your skin. 

¨I didn´t know today is your birthday...¨ you whispered, afraid that this was a dream and you´d wake up alone again. 

¨Yeah, I was hoping to get a Happy Birthday from you, you know.¨ he chuckled.

¨I think you´ll be getting more than that.¨

You stared into each other´s eyes for a moment before he pulled you to a hug. When you leaned against his warm chest you heard it again, the same babble of the ocean, only this time you smiled, knowing that it wanted to listen to your stories and secrets as well. 

¨Sanji?¨

¨Hm?¨

¨Happy Birthday... I love you.¨

¨I love you too, Y/N.¨ he kissed you again.

¨Please, don´t have sex on the dinner table.¨ you jumped when Robin spoke.

 When you turned, you saw all your crewmates dressed in pajamas and messy hair staring back at you with sparkly sleepy eyes. You spot Zoro back in the crowd, you smiled and gave him a silent ¨Thank you.¨. You couldn´t help but wonder how the guy who manages to gets lost walking down a straight path was able to guide some sense into you. 

In any way, you´ve found it. Inside of his chest, inside of his heart was the All Blue you heard so much of. Maybe that was the thing with it, and why only a few people found it. Everyone assumes that it is a place, where the four Blues meet, but it´s easy to forget that when you´re a pirate the ocean becomes the essence of who you are.

Little did you know that Sanji had found his All Blue too.