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delulustateofmind · 6 months

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A City of Dreamers [Part One]

Series Summary: ModernAU of ACOTAR, Azriel breaks away from the small town of Windhaven to escape his toxic family and chase his dreams with his newfound family. Leaving behind his small-town life for new ventures in Velaris.

[Part One]{Part Two]

Work Count: 1.5K

Trigger warnings: Tabaco use and trauma mentioned, I think that's it!

Another night, another nightmare. Azriel awoke to the gentle sunlight creeping through his window, emitting a small groan as he stretched amidst the boxes littering his bedroom, remnants of his recent move taking a toll on him. Another task he needed to complete to a list that already seemed endless.

Three years prior, Rhysand, fresh out of university, pitched the idea of starting a tech company called ‘Night Corp.’ Rhysand’s father, a real estate mogul, agreed to fund the venture under the condition it operated in Velaris. As the company prospered, they moved into an apartment closer to work.

The company ‘Night Corp’ is the biggest in technology. Booming after a year of the three of the ‘brothers’ working eighty-hour weeks. Azriel running the programming and hardware side. Cassian working on management and dealing with the paperwork. While Rhysand was the face, he made sure to bring in the investors and funding. Over time, the company grew larger and larger. Which led to the boys moving into an apartment closer to work.

The apartment boasted amenities, including separate bathrooms and balconies for each room. Azriel found solace in his smoke breaks on the balcony, appreciating the alone time overlooking the city with a faint scent of tobacco in the air. Cassian however would always chastise him for smoking, but old habits are hard to die out.

Struggling with the sleepless nights fueled by long coding sessions and haunting memories, Azriel joined Cassian in the kitchen. Finding Cassian making breakfast and doing a small dance as he jammed out to his booming music.

Azriel moved past him to start his morning coffee, much deserved from the late night he had. Cassian shot him a big grin.

“There’s a boxing gym nearby if you want to check it out with me later today,” Cassian mentioned as he removed his headphones.

Azriel shook his head, his messy dark curls bouncing. “I need to ensure the program is fine for the next big launch. Security reasons” Azriel shrugged. “I’ll check it out later with you some other time.”

Cassian raised a brow. “You know, Az, you don’t have to work yourself to the bone anymore. We’ve got a solid team now. Gone are the days of us slaving away in Rhys’ mom’s basement. Remember, you hired the best from Velaris Tech. Let them shoulder some of the load.”

Azriel shrugged, pouring his coffee and taking a sip. “I’ll think about it”

It’s true, that Azriel did seek out some of the best programmers for the business. A business that started in a business that now had several major buildings around Prythian. While Velaris remains to be headquarters.

Rhysand, already at the office, tasked Mor, who was already busy as the marketing director, to find him a personal assistant. Signaling the start of yet another busy day at Night Corp.

*****

In an apartment two doors down from the boys lived Feyre and Y/n. Childhood best friends who grew up in a small town together that later reconnected. Both of them had faced their challenges.

Feyre is one of three sisters. The oldest was Nesta a famous ballet dancer, one of the best in all of Prythian who frequently traveled, rarely visited unless for the holidays. The middle child, Elaine, worked as a florist in the Springs. However, she did visit more frequently than Nesta. Feyre was the youngest and unfortunately, her father already exhausted most of his income on his other two daughters, leaving Feyre to figure her life out on her own.

Feyre never was able to go to college unless she wanted copious amounts of debt. Though her artwork was enough to pay for rent, her income wasn’t stable enough. Some months were better than others, leaving Feyre in the middle of applying for a position as a personal assistant, there was no guarantee she would even get an interview without a degree. She was still going to give it her best shot. The job paid well enough that she could start saving up for her studio and be able to pay rent.

Y/n on the other hand, inherited her parents' coffee shop. After they had passed away, left her with nothing but the deed to a business that she never knew her folks owned. Y/n spent her days tirelessly researching how to even run a business and while sorting through her emotions of losing her parents- cleaned up the place. From time to time Feyre would come and help. Painting the walls, even including a beautiful mural of the Sidra River on one of the walls. After a year of opening the business, the income was stable enough that she could hire a full staff.

The coffee house was unique in a way that instead of being open in the early hours of the morning, the cafe would instead be open late into the night. Allowing night owls like herself to feel the comfort of a good cup of coffee.

It was late afternoon when y/n woke up, she had worked a double late night shift after one of her managers called out. Climbing out of bed, groggy, hoping that her staff could handle the shipment coming in today, reluctantly checked her phone. Finding no calls from the afternoon staff, she considered it to be a small success, a small smile appeared on her face before walking into the living room to find Feyre on her ancient laptop typing away at her resume.

“Morning” Feyre murmured with her brows furrowed in concentration as she slowly typed away.

“Morning. Didn’t Tamlin get you the latest model from Night Corp?” y/n murmured sleepily. Taking a spot next to Feyre on the couch.

“He did, but…” A deep sigh escaped Feyre’s lips “We broke up” she reluctantly met y/n gaze. “He proposed and I said no…” her face showed regret as she didn’t meet y/n’s curious glance.

Y/n gazed at her, a look of pity for her friend on her face as she leaned her head onto Feyre’s shoulder. “I’m sorry Feyre. What made you turn him down?”

“Funny thing is, Tam wanted a traditional housewife. Someone to plan parties, wear fancy dresses, and be pampered” Feyre explained, her tone tinged with sadness. “That’s just not me, I need room to grow. He was kind, but I think I really hurt him y/n” She shook off the sadness and continued with determination “So, I’m applying to Night Corp for a personal assistant position. How hard could it be?”

“I’m here for you if you need anything…with the whole Tamlin situation. But I have to say, I’m proud of you for coming to that conclusion about what you want in life. That wasn’t an easy decision I’m sure.” Y/n gave her a soft smile before laughing softly. “You? Applying to a tech company, Feyre you had to ask me the other day how to download an app on your phone. Feyre you still use BuzzFeed!” Feyre playfully nudged y/n.

“Buzzfeed will always have a special place in my heart, how else am I supposed to know what kind of pizza my zodiac sign is?” Feyre said with a chuckle “But seriously, the job pays well, and it can’t be that challenging, right? Plus, they’re on the rise. Word on the street is that their main office has a slide! How cool is that?”

“I wish you the best of luck, I know you would nail that interview” Y/n grinned before getting up to get ready for her shift. “I have to be in early today, to help with the truck order. Let me know if you get a call from them, we can go celebrate!” Feyre gave a warm smile before slowly typing away at her cover letter. Feyre was absolutely awful with anything technology-based.

After an hour of getting ready, y/n waved goodbye to Feyre and headed out the door. Locking the door to the apartment and heading down the hallway. Scrolling through her phone she bumped into someone.

“Sorry,” she stammered before peering up at the man before her. Dark raven black hair with a slight curl that almost covered his eyes, a black face mask that hid most of his face, and hazel eyes that resembled burnt honey. He was beautiful, a classically handsome man. The man peered down at her roughly a whole foot taller and said in a voice that was so deep it sounded sinful.

“You’re alright,” he murmured before gliding past her down the hallway back to his apartment. The sultry voice sent shivers down her spine. A blush had warmed her cheeks before she made her way to the elevator, their brief encounter replaying in her mind. Seemingly hypnotized by the deep voice, a melody she deeply wanted to hear again.

Azriel returning from his run, sliding in the front door of the shared apartment, couldn’t shake the comforting scent of vanilla and coffee the girl exuded.

#acotar #azriel x reader #azriel #cassian #rhysand #feyre archeron #feyre acotar #rhysand acotar #modernau!acotar #modern au #sjm #azriel x you

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slaymitchabernathy · 5 months

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An Eternity

When Coriolanus comes home, he finds their bedroom empty.

He doesn’t worry though. Not like he used to.

He does find Petunia in her usual spot, right below the window in the living room, soaking up the last bits of sunlight.

He slowly climbs up the steps that lead to the rooftop, two hot cups of tea in his hands. Tea always seems to make everything better.

When he reaches the top, he’s welcomed by the scent of roses. She says he smells like roses, that’s why she likes coming up here so much.

She’s sitting on one of the benches, overlooking the city, the Capitol. Her blonde hair blows in the wind.

“You should wear a coat, my love,” he says before setting the two cups down on the edge of the table next to the bench. It’s October now, it’s getting colder by the day and he worries for her health even more than ever now.

Soarynn looks up at him and gives him that smile that he fell in love with all those years ago. “I’m not cold,” she says but he can see the goosebumps on the skin of her arms. She’s always cold.

He simply hums and shrugs off his suit jacket, gently draping it over her shoulders. Coriolanus lets out a soft groan as he sits down on the bench, it was a long day at work. It always feels long when he’s not with her.

“How was your day? Did your meetings go well?” She asks him, her hand instantly finding his. Coriolanus nods and stares out at the skyline, “Yes, everything went quite well. I might get some time off in a couple of weeks, to take care of you.”

Soarynn lets out a frustrated sigh and Coriolanus gives her a stern look, “Don’t argue with me about this darling, you need proper care at all times of the day.” Soarynn shakes her head and takes her cup of tea, bringing the rim to her lips, “I’m perfectly fine and I’m not alone during the day.”

Coriolanus already knows that Soarynn’s idea of company is Petunia but they both know he’s right. Soarynn needs proper care, like a nurse. But she’s always been so insistent on her independence.

He doesn’t have it in him to fight her on it, not when she’s already lost so much.

“I just want…I just want to have as much time with you as possible,” he whispers. His eyes burn with tears but he’s no stranger to these emotions.

Not since the diagnosis.

He remembers it perfectly well. How they went to the doctor with concerns after Soarynn had a seizure. He hoped it might have been a one-time thing, a freak accident. It was much worse than that.

It was a fatal illness, no cure, no timeline to predict how much longer she had on earth. How much longer she had with him.

It was so unfair. It wasn’t right that she had to go through this, to know that her life was coming to an end. Soarynn was just starting her life, she was still so young, so promising.

She deserved more time.

He did everything he could. Bought all the medications, got second and third opinions. Nothing worked.

All they could do was try to make the most of the time they still had together.

He watches Soarynn take a sip of her tea and can’t help but notice how her hand trembles when she sets it down.

She’s getting weaker by the day. He’s surprised she’s still able to make it up the stairs. And suppose she fell one day, who would help her?

But Coriolanus doesn’t have it in him to confine her to their bedroom. Soarynn deserves to live her life to the fullest. And she has. He’s taken her to the zoo, the ballet, he even arranged for a trip to District Four so she can see the ocean. She doesn’t know about it yet. He’s going to surprise her in a month, tell her on her birthday.

He’s going to propose to her at the beach.

She’s always wanted to see the ocean and Coriolanus doesn’t want to spend one more day without being her husband, without being tied to her for an eternity.

“Well, what did you get up to today my love?” He asks, hoping a majority of her day wasn’t spent lying in bed, slowly withering away.

It’s been hard to watch her slowly fade away. It started with her skin. Her beautiful, tan skin slowly faded day by day. Then her eyes. Her dazzling blue-gray eyes lost their spark. Little by little, she started losing weight until none of her clothes fit her anymore.

Soarynn tries to act like it’s all fine, like she’s fine but Coriolanus has heard her cry before, watched her stare at her reflection in the mirror, and hate what she sees.

She’s losing herself as much as he’s losing her.

“Oh, you know, I did some reading, finished that book you got me the other week. And then the girls came over and I gave them some of my clothes.”

Coriolanus furrows his brows, “Why did you give your clothes away darling?”

Soarynn has beautiful dresses and clothes, top-of-the-line. To give them away confuses him. Soarynn waves him off, “None of them fit me anymore.”

Coriolanus takes his cup and doesn’t say anything. Sometimes, he wishes she didn’t act like this, like she’s already accepted her fate. If she gives all her clothes away, what’s to stop her from doing the same with her shoes and bags? He’ll have nothing left of her by the time she’s gone.

How strange to think one day she’ll be gone. But he can’t focus on that. Won’t focus on that. They’ll take it day by day, like they always have.

꧁ ꧂

“What do you want to do for your birthday, my love?”

When Soarynn doesn’t reply, Coriolanus peeks his head out of their shared closet to find her struggling to stand up from their bed. Her legs are trembling and her face is pale. “Let me help you, darling,” he says, quickly striding over to grab her waist but she shakes her head. “No,” she grits out, “I…I can do it just fine by myself.”

But she can’t. And when she goes to fall, he’s there to catch her.

And it breaks his heart to see Soarynn cry. Usually, she doesn’t let him see her like this, so vulnerable and weak. “I want to cut my hair,” she gasps out between sobs. Coriolanus wraps his strong arms around her as they sit on the floor, “Why would you want to cut your hair darling?”

Soarynn has beautiful blonde hair that falls below her waist. It’s a bright blonde, nearly platinum but it compliments her beautifully.

“It’s starting to fall out,” she whispers, burying her face in his chest, “I might as well get ahead of it and cut most of it off.”

Coriolanus swallows because he doesn’t want her to cut her hair, to give up so easily but he has to support her no matter what.

He’d never forgive himself if he didn’t do everything he could for Soarynn while she was still alive.

“Okay,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, “we can go get your hair cut.”

꧁ ꧂

Coriolanus watches as the hairdresser cuts Soarynn’s hair off. It falls onto the floor like a golden halo around the chair.

He watches Soarynn’s face through the mirror. There’s a single tear running down her face but she remains strong and resilient.

“Short hair is very in for the summer, do you two have any big summer plans?” The hairdresser asks the two of them. Coriolanus manages a polite smile and shakes his head, “No, not really.”

He can’t tell her about the beach, not yet.

Soarynn’s birthday is two weeks away and then he can surprise her.

By the time they’re done, Soarynn’s hair comes up to her chin. "You look beautiful," he tells her as they leave the hair salon. Soarynn shrugs, "I look different."

When they go home, Petunia is more than curious about her owner's new haircut. Coriolanus watches the two with a smile on his lips. Petunia loves Soarynn with all her heart, it'll be his responsibility to make sure she'll looked after once Soarynn is gone.

"Aren't you a proper little lady?" Soarynn asks as she ties a pink ribbon around Petunia's neck, giggling when Petunia bats at her hand.

Coriolanus used to worry about how Soarynn would be when Petunia passed away, how inconsolable she'd be, and how grief-stricken the death would leave her.

But she'll be gone before Petunia. Then it'll be just him and the cat.

How terrifying to love something that death can so easily touch.

꧁ ꧂

"I want you to meet new people," Soarynn says gently, her small hand engulfed in his large one.

Coriolanus blinks away the tears as he sits at her bedside. It feels impossible to think about anyone else in the world when the woman he loves the most is dying right in front of him. "You're the only one I want to be with Soarynn," he tells her, his voice trembles but he's so past caring.

Today she should be turning twenty-three, instead, she's bedridden, and on the cusp of death. The sickness progressed quicker than they thought. The months he thought he had with her are now hours.

Soarynn will never get to see the beach. He will never propose.

"I was going to take you to the beach," he whispers, "ask you to be my wife, to be tied to my soul for an eternity and now I fear that I'll never be given the chance."

Pain reflects in Soarynn's eyes and he can't tell if it's from the sickness or the sadness. "Coryo, you'll always have me, always. My soul is entangled with yours far too well for wedding rings to truly mean anything."

Coriolanus nods and tears fall freely down his face, he's losing her.

Soarynn looks up at the ceiling, a faraway look in her eyes, "I'm scared," she whispers, "I must admit that I don't want to leave."

Coriolanus leans down and presses a soft, gentle kiss on her cheek, "Don't be scared my love, I'll hold your hand the entire way."

Soarynn lets out a soft wheeze, "Don't let go."

It happens so quickly. The way her eyes finally close, and the last breath leaves her small body. She's resting now, no longer in pain.

Coriolanus cries, he sobs and shouts at the sky. He wanted more, more time, more laughs and smiles. But his sweet girl was so tired, she deserves to rest.

He'll see her again soon. Until then, he'll have Petunia, he'll hear someone laugh and think it's her. But one day, he'll see her again.

They'll have eternity.

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

#slaymitchabernathy #coriolanus fanfiction #hunger games #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ao3 fanfic #wattpad #coriolanus snow #soarynn snow #soarynn nightingale #coriolanus x soarynn #coriolanus oneshot #coriolanus imagine #coriolanus fic #coriolanus x oc #oneshot #original character #petunia #staywithmealways

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jujitto · 10 months

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🩰﹒𝖳𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝗈𝗋 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 ♩ ⁺ 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗄 𝖲𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗇

⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪ 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾 ۪ ׂ 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍, 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 ⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪ cw ۪ ׂ 𝗇𝗈𝗇𝖾 ⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪ wc ۪ ׂ 𝟧.𝟦𝗄

⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪ 𝗌𝗒𝗇𝗈𝗉𝗌𝗂𝗌 ۪ ׂ 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝗈𝗋 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾, 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇. 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝗌𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗒. 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉. 𝗌𝗈 𝗐𝗁𝗒 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗂𝗍 𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖾𝖽? 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝗎𝗉𝗉𝗈𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗒.

⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗒 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗇 𝖽𝖺𝗒! 🎉

You always wondered if you failed at making your mother's dream come true. Ballet was what she dreamt of doing as a young girl and that's what she did. She danced her way into people's hearts and minds.

Awards after awards lined the walls of her bedroom and even the living room of the family house. At a young age, your mother knew that when she had a daughter of her own that she would want her to follow in her footsteps and become a great ballerina just like she had been.

Maybe that's where she messed up. When you were born she knew right then and there that you were going to be a star but as you grew she could tell you had different dreams than her. Though she did sign you up for ballet lessons by the end of the first lesson she knew that you weren't interested in it. But that didn't stop her from pursuing a career in the field of ballet. Though her only daughter didn't want anything to do with what she loved she knew other people would. That's where she had the idea to start her own company and that's what she did.

From the ground up she built a company teaching thousands of young students who had hopes and dreams of becoming the top ballerinas. Though it didn't stop there because around the age of 16 you and her were relocating to South Korea for her to teach at the upcoming new ballet school.

For you, you never could understand how you just up and moved. Leaving your whole life that you had known in America. Korea was a whole new step for you. Being transferred to a new school and being nothing like the other students was completely different.

In America everyone was different and everything was different. Not only school but other things as well like the language barrier, food, the culture, and for you dating. In America dating for you was easy as people were open and easily asked you out.

But in Korea, it felt like people were scared to almost ask you out or even talk to you. To you, it felt like you were alone so to say and you couldn't understand it. Dating was always hard in Korea especially for you except when you met him. Things started to look up. He was always nice and kind to you. He would go out of his way just to talk to you and see you smile which honestly made you flustered because no other guy here was like this towards you.

You enjoyed him and his company. Park Sunghoon, 19, a college sophomore, and a dance major, is also one of your mom's students. Yes, you heard right your mom's student. If there was anything that you hated it would be that. Because there was one rule your mom had and that was to not date any of her students. And as luck would have it your crush was one of those unlucky people.

Out of all the people in the world it had to be one out of lord knows how many students your mom taught. As much as you would like to say this was something that put a hold on you pursuing the boy it sadly wasn't. Oh, how you knew your mother would have a fit if she found out that you, her precious sweet little girl were planning to or what I meant was dating one of her fellow students. Somewhere down the line, you two had managed to start dating but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, right?

Today you didn't have a busy schedule as being a college student was always sort of busy you had decided to visit your mom at work. Though in your mind you knew what you were going there for, she didn't. You shushed the people who were mumbling and pointing toward you so they wouldn't spoil the surprise of you being there.

You hadn't visited your mom at work in quite some time so who knows if she was expecting you or not. You chuckle smiling brightly at the older woman who narrowed her eyes at you in the mirror. Your arms wrapped around her neck as you hugged her back tightly. She patted the back of your head as a smile made its way upon her lips. 'It's nice to see you daughter. How long has it been?' She teased raising an eyebrow at you.

You huffed rolling your eyes at the older woman. 'You know I could never not come and visit you. I'll always make time for you Momma.' You spoke pressing a kiss on her cheek as she smiled shaking her head at you. She stood at the front of the room with you by her side as you smiled brightly at the curious little ones before you.

'I would like to introduce you to someone you guys have yet to meet. My lovely daughter.' Your mother introduced you to the young ones who stared in awe at you. Probably because the only foreigner they had seen was your mother and you being here was something new. You smiled and waved at curious children.

'If you're busy I can come back later. I know how busy you are being a top teacher here and all so this can wait until your lunch break.' You teased pulling the strap of your bag closer to your chest as she gave you a look that only a mother could give their daughter.

You kissed her cheek as she waved you off turning her attention back to the class. You waved goodbye to the little ones as you passed. Your hands clutched the strings of the hoodie you wore as you made your way through the company.

Your feet carry you where you want to be. Your heart pounded against your chest as you felt butterflies. For some reason, you didn't quite understand it but you loved the feeling deep down.

Your knocks were soft against the door. The door opened quietly as you didn't want to disturb him. Though the music was soft and it was still quite loud so he wouldn't be able to hear the door open as you entered the room. Your eyes gazed lovingly as you watched him dance. It didn't matter how many times you watched him perform the same routine over and over again it always amazed you to watch him dance.

Though it wasn't for you, you could tell that wasn't the case for him. You knew how much he loved ballet just from how he gracefully moved across the room as if he was the only person in it. He danced as if nothing else in the world mattered and that's why you liked watching because of how passionate he did so.

The song came to an end as you stood applauding the boy who turned to face you as blush danced across his cheeks. 'Encore.' You cheered as he smiled at you before going to get a drink of water. As he did so you couldn't help but take in his appearance.

The platinum blonde strands of his hair in a half up half down, the black leotard tank and tights fitted his body well, and the silver necklace he wore shined under the light. At times like this, you were blessed to have such a handsome boyfriend. You tore your eyes from him as he turned back towards you. 'I didn't know you were coming.' He spoke as you shrugged. You guess that you had forgotten to tell him that. Maybe you had wanted to surprise him as well? That was the only logical reason you could think of.

'Surprise.' You sang doing jazz hands and all as he laughed along with you. His long slender arms came to wrap you in his embrace as his head was buried into your neck. You sighed feeling the warmth and comfort of his hug.

You've missed him. Sure there were messages and calls but it wasn't the same thing as seeing him in person. The smile on your face was big as you cupped his cheeks. 'You've been taking care of yourself?' You question as he nodded.

'Good because I would hate-" you gasped feeling his lips pressed against yours. You were left breathless as he pulled away. Eyes fluttering open softly as he stared at you with so much love. 'I missed you.' He expressed with a smile on his lips.

What could you say without turning into a complete idiot?! 'I missed you too Sunghoon.' He sighed happily to hear the words he has been wanting to hear since he saw you. Though those weren't the only words he has been wanting you to say. Your relationship was still quite new. Crushing on each other for a year and dating for 5 months.

Though it has been five months since you two officially got together you had yet to say the words most people would've said four or three months into a relationship. Though he knew I love you was something not everyone could say. Sometimes he wondered if that was the case with you.

The smile you wore made his heart beat faster as you stared at him in awe. Your fingers twirl the left-out strands of his hair. Lips against his as he pulled your body into his; soft and yet wanting. Hands laced in his hair while his rested on your waist.

The beating of your heart and your surroundings went from your mind. He was your only focus. He always would be. With a huff, you pulled away as your phone began to buzz. 'Hello?' You spoke a bit annoyed at the fact that someone has ruined your time with your boyfriend.

Sunghoon softly chuckled at you as you glared at him. 'Y/N. I shouldn't have to wait for you. Wasn't lunch your idea?' Your mother complained as you did your best to not roll your eyes.

But you knew it was best not to keep her waiting. 'I'll be there in a minute. Just wait for me, please.' You spoke ending the call before she had a chance to respond. You rushed to grab your bag from where you had placed it only to be stopped by Sunghoon's hand on your wrist. 'Let me walk you there.' He spoke as you stopped and thought for a moment. You knew your mom would either question why he was with you or blatantly accuse you two of dating.

The second option wasn't something you needed right now. 'Hoon...I'm not so sure about that. You know how my mom is.' You admitted as he nodded but didn't let go. You tried to pull away from him only to get pulled back into his arms.

'Hoon come on. I don't need to be any later than I already am.' You cautioned still trying to get out of his arms. He smiled letting go of you only to grab your hand in his. You sighed and let him pull you along with him. You didn't have to even look at him to know he had that stupid smirk of his on his face. You could feel your cheeks grow warm at the fact that everyone you two passed knew something was going on between you two. Oh, how you wanted to disappear from it all.

He came to stop making you bump into his back. The lobby was filled with students signing in and others who were either chatting or going on their ways. In the middle of it stood your mother who was looking at her watch probably wondering where the hell you were. You sighed finally being able to unclasp Sunghoon's hand from yours.

'Mom. I'm sorry. I got distracted by something. But we can go now. I'll even pay.' You rambled as your mother were a suspicious look on her face but slowly began to smile. You turned around confused only to face your boyfriend's chest. 'My favorite student. How are you Sunghoon dear?' Your mother asked as you still stood there mouth agape.

Sunghoon lightly chuckled before answering your mother. 'I'm doing quite well Ms.Y/L/N. Just had to help y/n out as she had gotten lost.' He spoke before letting out a warm-hearted chuckle as he patted your head. You wanted to slap him. Your mother glanced between you and the boy suspiciously before smiling.

'Thank you. I wouldn't want her to get lost. We'll be seeing you, dear. Thank you again.' Your mother thanked him before turning and walking away telling you to come on. You followed after her before glancing back towards the male only to see him blowing kisses at you making you chuckle and shake your head. You and your mother walked arm and arm down the sidewalk to the restaurant your mother wanted to try.

'I didn't know you two were friends.' Your mother finally spoke up as you shrugged. That's one way to put it. 'Yeah, but we aren't that close. We just talk about college and our schedules. That's about it.' You lied as your mother hummed as a sign she was listening. The smile on your face slowly became a frown.

You hated lying to your mother. But nothing good would come from her knowing that you were dating one of her students. She'll probably say something like she needed him to be focused and not be so worried about anything else that could ruin his reputation or career. You hated that she probably wouldn't care if you made him happy or he made you happy because it would just ruin what he had going for him.

You sighed poking the food on your plate as you tried your best to listen to what your mother was saying. You knew from the silence that she had stopped talking and was looking at you. 'What's the matter with you?' Your mother asked as you looked up from your chair. You huffed sitting up straight before looking at her.

'I've met someone. I mean I've been with him for 5 months. But there's a problem. He wants me to meet his mother but I'm afraid she'll have a problem with it. What should I do?' You asked as your mother stopped what she was doing to stare at you. You could tell from the look she wore on her face that she was contemplating what you had said.

'You shouldn't care what she thinks. It's your relationship. Did I tell you that I and your father had this problem too? Well-' You stopped listening to her after she started talking about her and your father. If only she knew that you were talking about her. For the longest time, you thought about what she had said. Even as you sat in the car next to Sunghoon. His hand squeezed yours getting your attention.

'You're quiet. What's wrong?' He questioned all you could do was just shake your head. You didn't want to ruin your night out with him just over something as little as your conversation with your mom. But you couldn't help but wonder deep down if he was wondering the question that had been on your mind. If he has been wanting to meet your parents. You know deep down that was what he truly wanted but yet you hadn't given him the chance to him.

It wasn't like he was the one who was nervous because that was all you. Nervous to hear what your mother had to say or if she would be angry at you for doing what she told you not to do. You wondered. You wondered too much for your brain to comprehend. It was tiring. And stressful. You sighed at both your thoughts and the tickling feeling of Sunghoon's kisses.

A smile made this way upon your face as your eyes connected with his. His eyes stare so lovingly at you just like they always did. He kissed your lips softly no other meaning behind it besides love.

Maybe just maybe you would risk it all. You would risk it all if it meant that he would be by your side. Only him. At this moment and time, you didn't care for your mother's opinion but from the way she was staring so intensely at you and Sunghoon's clasped hands, you wanted to disappear.

For the entirety of dinner, she hadn't said a word but luckily your father was there to keep the conversation rolling. You wished your mother was like your father and would just not make this any more awkward than you already felt it was. But nope.

You rubbed your temple as you paced the porch. Sunghoon sat watching as you did so. You didn't know why you thought this was a good idea. You just thought it was. But here you were questioning why you had done what you did. If it wasn't for your mother you think the afternoon would've gone well. But maybe you were wrong.

'I just knew this was a bad idea.' You spoke taking a seat next to Sunghoon. 'I shouldn't have brought you here. I should've known this was going to happen.' You licked your lips turning to face the male who hadn't said a word. His arms were crossed over his chest as he wore an uncertain look on his face. You wrapped your jacket tighter to your body as you sighed. 'I guess it's time to go back in.' You spoke with a forced smile.

As you went to grab the door handle you turned to face Sunghoon who stood in the same spot. 'I was never going to meet your parents, was I?' He claimed with an unreadable expression on his face. You didn't say anything. What could you say? That he was wrong because he wasn't. 'No, I'll admit to you right now you were never going to meet my parents. I was never going to introduce you to them.' You admitted and you felt bad about doing so.

From the look on his face, you could tell that he was upset and most likely angry as well. Because here he was standing with his girlfriend of 5 months who just told him the hard truth of her not wanting or was never going to introduce him to her parents. He wondered if you were so hesitant about introducing him to your parents would it be the same as why you didn't say I love you yet?

He sighed turning his back towards you. You didn't move as you knew he needed space to breathe. 'Hoonie my mother.- He couldn't help but scoff. You were quick to turn on your heels to face him. 'Why should you care about what your mom thinks, huh yn? Who's relationship is this? Yours or hers? I think it's best if I just got home obviously because I was never meant to be here in the first place. Let's just leave it at that.'

He spoke giving you one last glance before taking his leave. You just let him. It wasn't even the case that your feet were stuck to the ground or that you wanted to let him be.

You just let him go. Away from you. Go away from the troubles you've caused him. After all, it was all your fault. You couldn't blame him if he wanted nothing to do with you anymore. You didn't even want him to meet your parents for god sake which was like one of the biggest steps in a relationship but here you were standing alone on the porch of your parent's house watching as the love of your life left. Left you for God knows how long or maybe even forever. Now that you think about it wasn't your fault. It was all her fault. Your mother was the one to blame.

If you weren't so worried about her budding into your life and trying to get rid of the one thing that made you happy none of this would've happened. He wouldn't have left and you wouldn't be standing alone questioning your whole relationship with him.

She was the reason you were doubting if your relationship with him was worth it. All of it was her fault. The pat of your feet against the ground got your parent's attention as they turned to face where you stood. Arms crossed over your chest with a sad look on your face. No tears had fallen, at least not yet. Your father stood pulling you into his arms. As if he could tell something happened between you and Sunghoon. One by one the tears started to fall.

But the tears shouldn't be for you. You shouldn't be the one that's crying right now. You didn't want to be the one that's crying right now. You shouldn't be getting the sympathy that you were getting. Because it wasn't for you. It shouldn't be for you. Oh, how you wanted to throw all this sympathy you were getting in the trash. Throw it all away because you didn't deserve it.

You were quick to point the finger at your mother, who sat at the table, sipping her wine just like she had done earlier. 'It's all your fault. You made me doubt my relationship with him and why because I wanted to please you and make you happy. When I should've been focusing on my happiness, not our happiness. It's all your fault.' You blamed the older woman who was quick to scowl at you.

'Why did you care what I think, huh? Why did you care about me knowing about your relationship? It's your relationship. So instead of blaming me blame it on yourself, it's like I told you it's your relationship, so why care about what others have to say.' Your mother spoke finishing her wine and leaving the room altogether. You stood there as tears rolled down your cheeks questioning it all. Questioning how you were so stupid. Questioning yourself about your mother knowing about your relationship with the love of your life when after all, she didn't even care. Questioning how you could ruin such a perfect thing that was going for you.

Questioning, if you would even be able to get him back. That night you tossed and turned. Your nerves were through the roof and it wasn't helping that he wasn't answering any of your calls or messages. You wanted to say that you were sorry that you had done all of this to him and made him feel less important in your relationship.

You just wanted to hug and kiss him and tell him that you're sorry for the way you acted. But he just wasn't having it. Sunghoon rejected every call and text message from you. But it was hard for him to do so. Even when he tried to get rid of your number, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Why was letting go of you so hard?

You had hurt him. More than he had ever been hurt before, and it hurt him, even more, when he had to go weeks without talking to you, calling you, or even texting you. It was hard for him just like he knew it was hard for you. But he had to do it. And it wasn't any help that you were constantly on his mind even though you guys weren't talking.

He wondered what you were doing, he wondered if you were smiling, he wondered if you were thinking about him. He wondered about you each step he took. Each step and pirouette he took his mind was on you. Until he thought back to the last time he had seen you.

He misstepped, tripping over his own feet. The floor was cold as he lay on the ground breathing heavily as the music continued to play in the background. There had to be a way to get you out of his mind. If he didn't he would be screwed, and so would the chance of him getting scouted. He just had to shake you from his mind and that's what he did.

But maybe not for too much longer. His hands were sweaty. As much as he didn't want them to be, they were. He had never felt this way before he got on the stage for a performance. Somehow this one was different. Maybe it was because you weren't there to watch him and clap for him after he was done. As much as he wanted to see you in the crowd, he just couldn't.

He needed to distance himself from you. He had to get rid of you and your constant staying on his mind. He had to get rid of you for the sake of his well-being, especially since you had felt like your relationship was nothing. As much as he wanted to be sad over all of it, he couldn't because he had something to do. He wiped the sweat from his hands as his teacher announced there were five minutes left before he went on stage.

Out there behind those closed curtains could be his future. His future to somewhere greater. But all of it felt useless the moment he heard your voice call out to him. It was the last thing he needed. He didn't want to see you. As much as he knew that would hurt your feelings it was true. He didn't need you to be on his mind right now.

You were costing him everything just by being here. You were causing him stress, angriness, and especially uneasiness because one look at you he would get upset, which meant he would not do good during his performance.

And not doing good during his performance would mean he would not get scouted. And that was what he was wishing for. And he didn't need you to ruin that for him. 'YN you need to leave.' He didn't even spare you a glance. It hurt your heart for him not to look at you.

But you couldn't blame him because your words hurt him deeply and you knew if it was the opposite way you would be acting the same way. 'Hoon I just wanted to apo-" " What you want to apologize? You want to say you're sorry? You do know you can't take back the words that you said. The words that you had no regret saying to me. Saying to my face. You do know that, right?"

He shook his head, tying his pointe shoes. 'But I do! I regret the words that were said to you. I-it didn't need to come out like that. I was never supposed to say those words to you. And it broke my heart when I did. That's not what I wanted you to feel. I didn't want you to hate me. And I shouldn't have made you feel the way I made you feel.' You rambled, yet he still didn't pay you any attention. You knew this was going to be hard but you hoped some part of him would forgive you. You wanted him to forgive you because you didn't mean to say those things to him but they just came out.

'YN you may say that now and you regret the things you said to me. But that doesn't change the fact that you said them. You said you were in your feelings, but what did I do to make you so angry with me for you to say those words? I hadn't done anything but be by your side that entire night even when your mom was causing you some discomfort. I was there and I'm the one that you get angry with. I'm the one that cares for you and showed you nothing but love, but at the end of the day, I'm the one who gets yelled at and told that I was never going to meet your parents. Is that what you want to apologize for? To tell me you're sorry for telling me that I was never going to meet the people who gave birth to you and that I would think endlessly for putting in my life. To tell them that I was in love with you. Is that what you're going to say? Because it's all a lie this is our relationship YN not just yours and yours only because that's how it felt. Because that's not what love is. Even if you didn't feel like it for me.'

You weren't going to deny what he had said. Even though it hurt because he was telling the truth. You had hurt him and you could see that now. Though he didn't look angry or sound angry, he was and he was burying it deep inside him. And you hated being the cause of it. How could he think that? Why did he think that you didn't love him? You loved him with all your heart.

You had always felt love for him. 'I know I'm not the best girlfriend or partner but I'm trying. I'm trying because it's hard and I want everything to work out between us. Because I do love you Park Sunghoon! I love you with all my heart and I have for the longest. I know I have never said it before but I love you with all my heart and I have for the longest. I love you, and I would never take those words back, because what is coming out of my mouth is true. Those other words that I had said weren't. For me, saying, I love you with all my heart is.'

He froze at the mention of those words. The three words he had waited for you to say, and here they were. He wished that you would take it back. Take back those words he desperately wanted you to say but now that he got them he didn't want them anymore. He didn't want them because it hurt. They hurt.

Hurt him hearing those words at this moment. Hearing you say those words in a moment like this. His body shook as he let it all go. Let all those feelings and tears leave his body. After holding so much of it back and trying to bury it as deep as he could. He was finally crying. Crying because you had said the words but not only that but because the way you spoke them was so genuine that he knew they were true.

'Hoon...Don't cr-.' Your words had got caught in your throat as he kissed you. Kissed you like never before. His lips flushed against yours as he cradled your face in his hands. 'I love you too YN.' It brought a smile to your face. And never once did your smile falter as you watched him perform upon that stage. Smiling endlessly, and breathless as everyone applauded him, but his eyes were on you as you applauded and blew him kisses.

He had performed beautifully and anyone with eyes could see what he did. Even the scouts thought so as they talked with him backstage. He ran to you picking you up and spinning you around. You only knew he had great news to tell you from the excited look upon his face. 'What did he say?'

His eyes shined so bright which meant that it was nothing but good news. 'They'll give me a call.' Your smiled widened at the words. You were so proud of him. To be standing here with him as he received cheers and applause for performing as well as he did was something you never thought you would do again. Especially after weeks of not talking to him and for being the one to cause his heartbreak.

But to be here now watching as he achieved his dream to make it big. To be in a relationship with him was something that you never wished to take for granted again. Because your relationship wasn't something that you could decide if it was meant to be or not meant to be. But if anything was meant to be then it would have to be your relationship. Though you two may argue and fight, that's what happens in relationships. You would just have to be willingly and ready for it. But for him you were.

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olympic-paris · 8 days

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THIS DAY IN GAY HISTORY

based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more …

September 17

1730 – Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben (d.1794), also referred to as the Baron von Steuben, was a Prussian-born military officer who served as inspector general and Major General of the Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War. He is credited with being one of the fathers of the Continental Army in teaching them the essentials of military drills, tactics, and disciplines. He wrote the Revolutionary War Drill Manual, the book that served as the standard United States drill manual until the War of 1812.

In Germay, in 1776, he was alleged to be homosexual and was accused of improper sexual behavior with young boys. Whether or not Steuben was actually intimate with other men is not entirely known, but the rumors compelled him to seek employment elsewhere.

On September 26, 1777, the Baron, his Italian greyhound, Azor (which he took with him everywhere), his young aide de camp Louis de Pontière, his military secretary Pierre Etienne Duponceau, and two other companions, reached Portsmouth, New Hampshire and by December 1, was extravagantly entertained in Boston. Congress was in York, Pennsylvania, after being ousted from Philadelphia by the British advance. By February 5, 1778, Steuben had offered to volunteer without pay (for the time), and by the 23rd, Steuben reported for duty to General George Washington at Valley Forge. He served as George Washington's chief of staff in the final years of the war.

Two of the General's soldiers, William North and Ben Walker, were to von Steuben's liking. He legally adopted both men, and they lived together until the Baron's death, at which time they shared in his estate.

The Lafayette Park Memorial

Many places are named in his honor, including Steubenville, Ohio. His monument by Albert Jaegers in Washington, DC, across the street from the White House in Lafayette Park, is perhaps one of the most homoerotic sculptures in America. Make sure and pay a visit the next time you're in town. You will not regret it.

1904 – Sir Frederick Ashton (d.1988) began his career as a dancer but is largely remembered as a choreographer.

Ashton was born at Guayaquil in Ecuador, in the artistic neighbourhood called Las Peñas, the original founding site of the city. When he was 13 he witnessed a life-changing event when he attended a performance by the legendary Anna Pavlova in the Municipal Theatre in Lima, Peru. He was so impressed that from that day on he knew he would become a dancer.

In 1919 he went to England to attend Dover College and then to study under the famous Leonide Massine and established a working relationship with the ballet troupe belonging to Marie Rambert and Ninette de Valois. Rambert discovered Frederick's aptitude for choreography and allowed him to choreograph his first ballet, The Tragedy of Fashion in 1926, starting a tremendously successful career as a choreographer.

He began his career with the Ballet Rambert which was originally called The Ballet Club, but he rose to fame with The Royal Ballet, becoming its resident choreographer in the 1930s. His version of La Fille mal gardée was particularly successful. He worked with Margot Fonteyn among others. His broad travesti performances as one of the comic Ugly Stepsisters in Sergei Prokofiev's Cinderella were annual events for many years.

The choreographer's emotional life focused on the unattainable and the unsuitable, and it often wreaked havoc in his ballet company, as when, in the case of the heterosexual Michael Somes (Fonteyn's principal partner), the beloved enjoyed and exploited favoritism to the point that other dancers signed a petition of protest.

Ashton, like so many other famous gay men of his epoch, including Cecil Beaton and Noël Coward, was necessarily discreet, but he was not closeted. The British high society in which he moved enjoyed the scintillating company.

Ashton was a member of the circle of gay men who surrounded Queen Elizabeth, the late Queen Mother, whom he taught to tango. When she heard that Ashton, a formidable mimic, did imitations of her, she allegedly retaliated by imitating his own queenly manners.

In 1962, he was knighted for his services to ballet. He died in 1988 at his home, Chandos Lodge, in Eye, Suffolk, England.

1926 – Curtis Harrington (d.2007) was an American film and television director whose work included experimental films, horror films, and episodic television. He is considered one of the forerunners of New Queer Cinema.

His memoir, Nice Guys Don’t Work in Hollywood, was recently published by Drag City. The original manuscript was disinterred from a special collection in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and carefully edited by Lisa Janssen, a Chicago-based poet, archivist, and film buff.

For Harrington, the romance with movies began early. He was stirred as a child by the sight of Mr. Death wilting a bouquet of flowers with his breath in Death Takes a Holiday (1934).

Growing up in Beaumont, California, with parents who gave him leeway to pursue his creative interests, Harrington discovered a soul mate in Edgar Allan Poe, and began his film career at 14 with an abbreviated version of “The Fall of the House of Usher.” The director plays both the death-haunted Roderick and his twin sister, Madeline.

Greatly influenced by Maya Deren, co-creator (with Alexander Hammid) of the trance classic Meshes of the Afternoon (1943), he completed a cycle of 16 mm shorts, several of which – Fragment of Seeking (1946), Picnic (1948), On the Edge (1949) – are now regarded as prime examples of West Coast experimental filmmaking. His friendship with Kenneth Anger, director of Scorpio Rising (1963) and author of the notorious bestseller Hollywood Babylon, fueled an appreciation for the mystical and provided occasion to participate, if only peripherally, in the Southern California occult explosion.

Although he enjoyed unfettered creative license during this period, the pressure to conform weighed heavily on the young filmmaker. The conservative postwar climate was an unlikely breeding ground for the deeply personal, highly stylized "film poems" created by Harrington and his contemporaries. His status as an outsider was no doubt intensified by his orientation as a gay man – a subject on which Harrington remains subdued throughout the memoir. "This seemed perfectly natural to me," Harrington writes of his teenage attractions. "It did not occur to me to attach any sense of guilt or shame to my activities." A screening of Fragment of Seeking and Anger’s Fireworks (1947) stunned an audience of Los Angeles intellectuals with its potently surreal evocations of homoerotic desire. "Everyone in the room was too shocked to say a word," Harrington recalls.

The true turning point in his career was the extraordinary Night Tide (1961), a gently haunting fable about a sailor (an uncharacteristically shy Dennis Hopper) who falls in love with a mermaid impersonator (Linda Lawson). Night Tide was distributed by Roger Corman, who in due course offered Harrington two directing assignments: Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (1965) and Queen of Blood (1966). Harrington was given the task of repurposing a couple of Russian science fiction films to which Corman had acquired the rights.

In the following years he went on to direct a series of B-movies in the horror genre TV series and Made-for-TV movies including The Killer Bees (1974).

At 75, he managed to summon the remainder of his creative vigor to make Usher (2002), a self-financed short film that brought his career full circle. "I went all the way back to the story that had haunted me so early in my life,"

1928 – Roddy McDowall (d.1998) was born in London on to a Scottish father and an Irish mother. His mother, who had herself aspired to be an actress, enrolled him in elocution lessons at the age of five; and at the age of ten he had his first major film role as the youngest son in Murder in the Family (1938). Over the next two years he appeared in a dozen British films, in parts large and small. McDowall's movie career was interrupted, however, by the German bombardment of London in World War II. Accompanied by his sister and his mother, he was one of many London children evacuated to places abroad.

As a result, he arrived in Hollywood in 1940, and the charming young English lad soon landed a major role as the youngest son in How Green Was My Valley (1941). The film made him a star at thirteen, and he appeared as an endearing boy in numerous Hollywood movies throughout the war years, most notably Lassie, Come Home (1943), with fellow English child star and lifelong friend Elizabeth Taylor, and My Friend Flicka (1943).

By his late teens, McDowall had outgrown the parts in which he had been most successful. Accordingly, he went to New York to study acting and to hone his skills in a wide variety of roles on the Broadway stage.

McDowall was praised for his performance as a gay character in Meyer Levin's Compulsion (1957), a fictionalised account of the Leopold-Loeb murder case; and he won a Tony award for best supporting actor as Tarquin in Jean Anouilh's The Fighting Cock (1960).

After a decade's absence, McDowall returned to Hollywood, and over the last four decades of his life he appeared in more than one hundred films, encompassing a wide range of genres from sophisticated adult comedy to children's fare, from horror to science fiction, usually as a character actor. He also made regular character appearances on TV in such series as the original Twilight Zone, The Carol Burnett Show, Fantasy Island and Quantum Leap.

His best known appearances include those in The Subterraneans (1960), Midnight Lace (1960), Cleopatra (1963), The Loved One (1965), Inside Daisy Clover (1965), Planet of the Apes (1968) and its various sequels, Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971), The Poseidon Adventure (1973), Funny Lady (1975), and Only the Lonely (1991). His last film role was the voice of Mr Soil, an ant, in A Bug's Life (1997).

Although McDowall never officially came out, the fact that he was gay was one of Hollywood's best known secrets. It is a tribute to his characteristic discretion and the respect with which "Hollywood's Best Friend" was regarded by his peers that his homosexuality was never really an issue or used against him in his six decades in the entertainment business.

Roddy is offered a hot sausage by Tab Hunter

McDowall died of cancer at his home in Studio City, California, on October 3, 1998. At the time of his death, he held several elected posts in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and was a generous benefactor of many film-related charities.

1965 – Bryan Singer is an American film director. Singer won critical acclaim for his work on The Usual Suspects, and is especially popular among fans of the sci-fi and comic book genres, for his work on the first two X-Men films and Superman Returns.

Singer was born in New York City. He was adopted by Norbert and Grace Singer and grew up in a Jewish household in New Jersey. He attended West Windsor-Plainsboro High School South, then studied film making at New York's School of Visual Arts and later the USC School of Cinematic Arts in Los Angeles. Actors Lori and Marc Singer are his cousins.

Singer is openly bisexual, and has said that his life experiences of growing up as a minority influenced his movies. In October 2014, it was confirmed he was expecting a child with actress Michelle Clunie. The couple's first son was born on January 5, 2015.

Singer is also executive producer and directed the pilot and first episode of highly regarded TV medical drama House.

Singer is said (or rumoured) to be involved in a number of possible or 'in development' projects at present including: a Superman Returns sequel; a remake of Logan's Run; a Warner Bros. film called U Want Me 2 Kill Him? about a 14-year old British boy who was charged with inciting his own murder, a reimagining of Battlestar Galactica, and a film of Augusten Burroughs' Sellevsion.

In April 2014, Singer was accused in a civil lawsuit of sexual assault of a minor. According to the suit filed by attorney Jeff Herman, Singer is alleged to have drugged and raped actor and model Michael Egan in Hawaii and Los Angeles in the late 1990s. On May 22, 2014, Singer's attorney presented evidence to Federal District Judge Susan Oki Mollway stating that neither Singer nor Egan were in Hawaii at the time. In early August 2014, Egan sought to withdraw his lawsuit.

In May 2014, another lawsuit was filed by attorney Jeff Herman on behalf of an anonymous British man. Both Singer and producer Gary Goddard were accused of sexually assaulting "John Doe No. 117." According to the lawsuit, Goddard and Singer met the man for sex when he was a minor and engaged in acts of "gender violence" against him while in London for the premiere of Superman Returns. The charge against Singer in this case was dismissed, at the accuser's request, in July 2014.

1975 – Jade Esteban Estrada, born at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas, is a successful Latin pop singer, comedian, choreographer, actor, political commentator, and human rights activist. Out Magazine called him "the first gay Latin star."

As a young boy, he participated in extracurricular school activities and sang in the school choir, where he first noticed that his talent captivated audiences. Through the encouragement of his choir instructor he began to take voice lessons and eventually moved to New York where he worked as an assistant to Tony award-winning actress Zoe Caldwell.

Estrada appeared in the German production of Starlight Express and also worked as a dancer for Seventeen Magazine. After two popular appearances as a transgender singer/dancer on NBC's The Jerry Springer Show, he won the attention of Latin TV personality Charo and worked as her choreographer and lead dancer. He gained international recognition in 1998 when he released his first Latin pop single, "Reggae Twist" on the Brooklyn-based Total Envision Records label. He later turned his attention to solo theater and stand-up comedy.

His recordings include Fabulous Gay Tunes Vol.2, and Being Out Rocks.

1991 – Scott Hoying is an American singer, musician and songwriter who came to international attention as the baritone of the a cappella group Pentatonix and one-half of the music duo Superfruit. As of June 2021, Pentatonix has released eleven albums (two of which have been number ones) and two EPs, have had four songs in the Billboard Hot 100, and won three Grammy Awards as "the first a cappella group to achieve mainstream success in the modern market". As of November 2021, Superfruit's YouTube channel has over 2.4 million subscribers, and over 444 million views.

Hoying is openly gay and resides in Hollywood. He began dating model Mark Manio in 2017. They got engaged in the Bahamas on April 13, 2022, and were married in Santa Barbara, California on July 7, 2023. Their wedding was officiated by singer-songwriter Christina Perri.

2001 – Paul Holm, the partner of Flight 93 hero Mark Bingham is presented with the folded American flag.

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galescafe · 8 months

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early morning virtual lecture / late night choreography conception

25 JANUARY 2024 | 34/100 DAYS OF PRODUCTIVITY

rainy day today so i went to my 8:30a physiology lecture online

had a meeting with my advisor today - was super nervous about it but left feeling much better having a plan for my (near-ish) future

research capstone course: worked on identifying a topic for our research paper. i'm planning on meeting with my prof early next week to iron out some details and also declare my intent to write an honors thesis for my major.

had a planning meeting for a committee i'm on

went to rehearsal for a contemporary ballet piece i'm dancing in for my ballet company

working on the piece i'm choreographing for our show, writing down the theory and ironing out physical details

not as productive as i wanted to be today, but i'm probably going to be taken by the muse and stay up late night audio mixing for my contemporary piece tonight

friendly reminder that wearing a mask is an act of love!!

🎧: MOSS - maya hawke 📚: ulysses - james joyce (4%); the body in pain - elaine scarry (3%)

#studyblr #100 days of productivity #100 dop #study blog #study aesthetic #study motivation #uniblr #college #uni #uni blogging #studyspo #university #galestudies

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flora-tea · 3 days

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What's Oudette's story in your SWTOR universe? Any interesting facts that they are comfortable to share? Like how did they end up as a babe in a random storage crate?

Aaa omg I'm so flattered you're curious about Oudette!! :D 💙

So! Oudette (he/him) was raised by a dance troupe who found him as a baby (x). In adolescence and into adulthood, he had a long-running career with an Imperial majority-alien theater & dance company before a life-changing incident.

The Incident was a targeted attack on the company’s performers following a big show where very few escaped unscathed, if at all. During the attack, Oudette, despite lacking combat experience, confronted the attackers to protect his peers but was critically injured and left for dead (this is where he got his face scar).

Barely out of healing, Oudette began working on attempting to investigate/track down the attackers himself, fueled by a passion for justice and revenge for his peers. Events lead to him unofficially assisting Imperial Intelligence in their mission to identify the attackers (a rapidly growing force of anti-alien terrorists) and even helped interfere with one of the terrorists’ plans. Intelligence eventually approached him to offer an official role in helping them hopefully put on end to the growing threat.

Trivia:

He's a freelance commercial dancer; though originally specializing in ballet, he offers his skills to a variety of styles for a variety of purposes (theater, cabaret, film, concerts, etc). Imperial Intelligence assigns him to whatever gigs can potentially benefit a mission and assists him as necessary. Often, someone is assigned to accompany Oudette to act as his ‘bodyguard’ as both a cover and literally xD (he hasn’t been around long enough for advanced combat training and can be prone to finding trouble😔) ⋆

Many of his missions involve him performing or attending events like balls and galas, all for the sake of gathering intel. ⋆

He’s got a passion for fashion and is often seen wearing formal and extravagant outfits ⋆

Along with being an experienced dancer, Oudette also works as a singer and occasionally a model. He can often be seen doing song and/or dance performances at a cantina or cabaret. ⋆

Being a Cathar/Sathari hybrid, Oudette has many quirks inspired by both birds and cats xD Will expand on that sometime for sure ⋆

Oudette often casually refers to people with “darling” or “dear” as affectionate endearment terms ⋆

He has a feathery tail that can fan out like a peacock. He loves showing this off during performances haha 🪶 ⋆

Though he's always been a performer, Oudette desperately wants to become a good fighter, especially after The Incident. Despite the tragic circumstances at the time, he struggles with deep guilt for not being able to protect the other victims of the attack.

#Thank you so much again for the ask!!#Still developing him and figuring him out but this is what I've thought up at the moment!#Will sometime also share how I imagine he ended up in that crate as a baby! I've got thoughts cooking xD #swtor #star wars oc #imperial agent #swtor imperial agent #cathar #sathari #hybrid #oc lore rambles #oc: oudette

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newyorkthegoldenage · 4 months

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Apologies—I meant to post this to another of my blogs. But since a few folks have liked it, I guess I'll leave it.

NYCB Attracting Younger Fans

The AP put out this story, which has run in many papers.

I've never understood why so many organizations prize young patrons over old. The old ones have more money, after all. But I suppose they're thinking of their future: today's young people are tomorrow's "sea of gray." 🙄

It's also news to me that Whelan is in charge of programming. I'm sure that Stafford has (a big) say in what goes on.

At 75, NYC Ballet is getting older. Its audience is skewing younger, and that’s the plan

By JOCELYN NOVECK Updated 12:58 AM EDT, May 24, 2024

NEW YORK (AP) — Alice McDermott settled into her seat at New York City Ballet on a recent Friday night, excited to see her first-ever ballet performance. The 31-year-old Manhattanite, who works in recruiting, was on a fun girls’ night out with three friends she’d met through work, starting with dinner.

“They told me I’d love the ballet,” says McDermott, who was also excited to realize she was already familiar with one of the evening’s performers, Tiler Peck, via the dancer’s popular Instagram feed. “They said you can put on a nice dress and just immerse yourself in another world, whilst marveling at what the human body can achieve.”

Seems they were right: At the end of the evening, McDermott, a new fan, went home and watched a ballet documentary.

Perhaps you could call it “Ballet and the City”? Whatever the term for McDermott’s ballet evening with pals, the scenario would surely be music to the ears of the company — which has been celebrating its 75th birthday with fanfare this year — and especially its artistic leaders of the past five years, Jonathan Stafford and Wendy Whelan.

The two, both former dancers at the storied troupe founded by George Balanchine, have made it a key goal to bring in a younger audience to ensure the company’s long-term health — and more broadly, to guard the vitality of a centuries-old art form.

It seems to be working. Though some initiatives have been in place for longer, the last five years have seen a marked shift, according to numbers provided to the Associated Press: In 2023, 53% of ticket buyers were under age 50, and people in their 30s made up the largest age segment by decade. Five years earlier, in 2018, 41% of ticket buyers were under 50, and people in their 60s made up the largest age segment.

Now, longtime ballet followers note that on a bustling Friday evening you can look down from the first ring of the David H. Koch Theater at Lincoln Center and not simply see, well, a sea of gray.

`A GENERATION OF YOUNG PROFESSIONALS’ A major factor in attracting younger people, especially those under 30, has been affordable pricing. There are also evenings targeting young professionals, including post-show receptions. And there have been collaborations with visual or musical artists with youthful followings — like the musician Solange, who in 2022 was commissioned to score a ballet by 23-year old choreographer Gianna Reisen.

The Solange collaboration was a significant moment, Whelan and Stafford said in a recent interview, surveying the past five years as the thumping of leaping dancers’ feet echoed through the ceiling above Stafford’s office.

“We sold out every show,” Whelan noted. “It was a little nugget, but it was memorable.”

Perhaps even more important was the fact, says Stafford, that about 70% of those ticket buyers were new to the company — contributing to “a generation of young professionals in the city that are at our theater every night now.”

Wendy Whelan and Jonathan Stafford, Feb. 29, 2024. Photo: Bebeto Matthews via the AP

Katherine Brown, the ballet’s executive director, said the company had taken a look at the theater and vastly reduced the price of certain seats — and saw them fill up. She also noted the 30-for-30 program, where members under 30 can buy any seat in the house for $30. “That thing has just exploded,” Brown says, from some 1,800 members in the last full season before the pandemic-forced shutdown, to some 14,000 now.

One can’t discount the “pure economics” of an evening at the ballet, especially for young people, says Wendy Perron, longtime dance writer and former editor of Dance Magazine. “When I was in New York in the ’70s and ‘80s, I just couldn’t afford to go to the ballet,” she says.

GETTING BETTER ACQUAINTED Also not to be discounted: the effect of social media in promoting dancers as people with personalities.

“We’ve got this crop of really exciting but also relatable, approachable dancers, and through social media, audiences can connect to them in a way they couldn’t back when we were dancing,” says Stafford, who retired as a dancer in 2014.

Consider Peck, one of the company’s most popular ballerinas (and a rising choreographer), whose Instagram feed had reached McDermott before she ever saw her dance. Peck supplies her half-million followers with short, punchy videos about everything from her 10 favorite dance roles to how she applies stage makeup. Her videos often feature her partner onstage and off, rising principal dancer Roman Mejia.

It’s all very different from a time when — like Odette in “Swan Lake” — ballerinas used to be mysterious and, above all, silent.

Social media — whether used by the company or via the dancers’ own feeds — can also answer questions. If you attended a performance of “The Nutcracker” a few seasons ago, you might have wondered why dancer Mira Nadon, as Sugarplum Fairy, suddenly disappeared from the stage at a key moment. The answer was on her Instagram later: her pointe shoe had slipped off.

“See, you can get all your answers from Instagram now,” quips Whelan, who herself has an active feed.

ESTABLISHING A PARTNERSHIP A few months ago, Whelan, a much-loved former NYCB principal who also retired in 2014, got a congratulatory text from Stafford in the morning — it had been exactly five years since the two had taken the helm after a turbulent period when #MeToo accusations caused scandal.

Historically, the company had been led by one man — Balanchine until 1983, then Peter Martins. This time, the board tried something new: a duet. Stafford was already interim head, and Whelan had applied for the job.

“They put us in a room and closed the door, and we were like – ‘Hi?’” Whelan says. “They were like, figure it out! And we did.” Stafford, the artistic director, serves as a bridge between the creative and business sides. Whelan, associate artistic director, focuses on the delicate task of programming.

Company insiders describe a mood different from the days when one outsized, all-powerful personality ruled from above. For one thing, the pair says they’ve instituted annual taking-stock conversations with each dancer.

Diversity — ballet is slowly changing but still overwhelmingly white — is also a priority, they say, and that includes diversifying “the pipeline,” meaning students at the affiliated School of American Ballet.

Recently, the company heralded its first two Black dancers to dance Dewdrop, the second most important female “Nutcracker” role: India Bradley and guest artist Alexandra Hutchinson of the Dance Theater of Harlem. Yet to come is a Black Sugarplum Fairy. The company says 26% of of its dancers identify as people of color, whereas 10 years ago that figure was 13%. Stafford and Whelan have commissioned 12 ballets by choreographers of color in the last six years, it says.

“We know where the gaps are, and we take it seriously,” Whelan says.

She and Stafford say they’re also paying more attention to wellness, be it physical training to avoid injury, healthy diets, or a more frank discussion of mental health.

As for the company’s financial health, it is strong, Brown says, four years after the pandemic cost tens of millions in losses The 2024 budget is roughly $102 million, compared to $88 million in 2019. Audience capacity has exceeded pre-pandemic levels.

As for new fan McDermott, she’s planning more visits, along with her friends.

“I think we have a new tradition between the four of us,” she says. “We’ll definitely be making it a bit of a thing.”

#New York City Ballet #NYCB #younger audiences #Jonathan Stafford #Wendy Whelan #ballet #ballet audience #diversity in ballet #gray elders

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its-toast-time · 1 year

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I was thinking of what kind of a person Damian would be 10-15 years down the line and I accidentally created an OC group that I absolutely need to share bc I love them.

So I imagine that as Damian grows up, he mellows out in his own ways. He still talks very formally and has a semi-militaristic way of thinking but comes off more as a prickly introvert than a full blown assassin. At eighteen he’s more likely to glare at someone than stab them. Damian takes after Bruce in a lot of ways, he gains Bruce’s tall, wide build and complete inability to social interact. Sure, he can crush an interview or gala, but casual interaction? Forget it.

Damian goes to college away from home (not so far away he can’t visit, but far enough to be away from Gotham’s special brand of apeshit insanity). He decides to pursue becoming a veterinarian but mostly keeps to himself. He doesn’t talk to anyone, ever, unless absolutely necessary and even then it’s usually not more than 1-2 sentences.

Undergrad!Damian can be found usually in one of five spots: Class, Library, Dorm, Gym, or a cafe on the far end of campus. Now this cafe is mostly frequented by different arts majors. It’s a little hippy, but not enough to be trendy. It’s got somewhat decent food and drink, but not enough to be popular. The service isn’t great but the people who go there don’t really care. It’s mostly just a spot to work, be inspired, or lounge. Damian likes it because it’s quiet. He likes the constant scratch of sketching pencils, click of keyboards, and quiet mutter of people at work.

Damian picks a big table in a far back corner and claims it during his first week. One day, someone sits at the table with him. They don’t say a word, just hesitantly sit down with their work and sets it on the table. Damian glares at them and they meet his gaze. The two stand off for a little bit before Damian concedes to having company and goes back to whatever he was doing. The newcomer quietly does their work too. The two don’t speak, don’t acknowledge each other, just work in silence and leave.

It becomes a regular thing. They never talk, but they get used to each other. Slowly over the semester two or three more people show up. It’s basically the same process, sit down without a word, pass the silent vibe check, work at the table. By the end of the semester, they’re more or less an established group. No one has ever introduced themselves, Damian has no clue what any of their names are and he doesn’t care.

The next semester, they continue the same way. Damian quietly starts to note what classes they each work on and deduces they’re all in the same year. He also starts to take note of their regular orders. One week towards the end of the year, he has all of their drinks ready for them at the table. He’s met with a few surprised smiles and nods of the head. Maybe a raise of the cup in appreciation. It’s Damian’s small way of acknowledging them and solidifying for all of them that yes, they’re friends.

This kinda continues through the next 1-2 years. Each of them are kinda cut from similar cloth, introverted, socially inept, socially anxious, doesn’t really matter. At the end of the day they all suck at interaction and are perfect for each other because of that. They get to know each other from observing. They never quite get into having conversations per say, but people start talking. Someone breaks their silence one evening by saying there’s a good food truck two blocks away. It’s not a formal invitation, but everyone packs up their things and they go as a group anyway. Next time, someone at the table asks for an opinion on their palette for an assignment, they get a crisp, direct answer and move on. They all grow closer like this. Call and response conversations start to become common among them.

“Has anyone taken X class with X professor?” “Yeah, I hated it.” End of conversation.

“I’m going to see that ballet thing on Saturday.” “It’s supposed to rain that day.” End of conversation. All of them show up anyway, umbrellas in hand.

*eating skittles* “you know, most artificial red dyes are made from crushed beetles.” “Huh,” End of conversation.

*angry muttering* *curious noise* “fucking politics,” “oh yeah. Same.” *noises of agreement* End of conversation.

Sometimes there’s not even an interaction, someone just says something and no one feels the need to respond. It’s all good.

I’m sure some of the others in the group have other friends, maybe an SO or roommate, but all of them eventually come to the realization that their strange little group is special. They realize that they’d rather be at the cafe with their little group of people who can’t social interact than anywhere else.

By the time all of them are in Senior year, they have all mastered the art of having full conversations without actually saying very much at all. They “invite” each other out to stuff all the time, share news, have silent inside jokes, judge others, they’re a unit. If you see one of them and they aren’t busy, at least one more is nearby. Only… none of them know each others names. None of them have ever introduced themselves. If they know each others majors it’s because they figured it out based on their work. No one knows if anyone has siblings or where they’re from. Not a single one has had a conversation that was more than three minutes with any of them. They don’t even have each others phone numbers. Damian LOVES them. They’re his absolute best friends in the world.

His siblings are aware and after some light stalking are absolutely hyped for him. Dick dramatically grabs Damian by the shoulders while fake sobbing bc “My baby bird is all grown up! He’s got friends and everything! I’m so proud of you—“

Damian, horrified by his brother’s antics but also secretly enjoying the attention and absolutely delighted to be talking about his friends and filled with so much joy he thinks he found explode “Tt.”

Anyway, I love the idea of Damian making a group of introverted/socially inept people who gravitated towards one another. Bizarre little college kids.

I can’t tell what’s the funniest version of the identity reveal: Damian demanding their identities out of the blue to pay off their loans bc Dick said stalking is bad; Damian’s friends eventually recognizing him on TV/internet; all of them end up having Damian as their vet later in life and recognizing him; all of them becoming roomies and leaning each others names via lease contract/mail; or Damian having to protect his friends as a vigilante (they’re in Gotham for some reason post-college) them recognizing his build/voice/demeanor and it not actually mattering bc they still don’t know his civilian identity and all of them just having to accept that their buddy is Robin (or whatever he becomes as an adult).

#batkids #bruce wayne #damian wayne #damian al ghul #dick grayson #dick wayne #batman #jason todd #batboys #batfam #robin dc #dc robin #robin damian #jason wayne #dc #dc batman

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ballet-symphonie · 1 year

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Do you think Osipova is against the war?

She did say that she is Russian and how it’s hard for her to speak up about it, because her family is still there. She also raised money for Ukraine at a show I attended in NYC back in January, and hired a young Ukrainian dancer and a Ukrainian pianist for it. When the war began, she did things for Ukraine at Royals. She also has said that “I don’t want to go back to Russia until it’s safe,” she follows foreign agents on Instagram who’ve been punished by Russia by speaking out against it, and she hasn’t spoken to her ex, Polunin, who’s a prominent Putin supporter, in years. (Vasiliev too, he signed the “Crimea is Russia” declaration in 2014 along with Zakharova)

The one thing that really stood out to me was that she said something like “There are people in Ukraine who are without food and water, and we have to do something” that was so poignant, but brave for her to speak up. If she was in Russia, saying that would cost her career. I’m glad she’s safe in London and I think she can say things like that now because she married an American (he’s very liberal-he follows Biden and Harris!)

I personally think that she’s against the war, but I think she’s afraid to admit that she’s a Russian who’s against the war.

Wouldn’t be surprised if she and Smirnova became foreign agents by the Duma.

I think she's adamantly against it. I think people have to have reasonable expectations for public figures denouncing the war. She's not about to condemn Putin, there are too many unforeseen consequences even for someone who is outside Russia, but she's come pretty darn close by acknowledging that what's happening in Ukraine is terrible. I look at her actions, such as dancing in Ukrainian relief galas, dedicating proceeds from the Force of Nature performance at NYCC to the Ukrainian Relief Effort, and featuring a Ukrainian ballet student/pianist. All of those are choices, she certainly doesn't have to be doing them and she's doing quite a bit more than some other Russian expats. This Times article makes her position plenty clear. I obviously don't know her status with her exes, but she has been publically distant if nothing else.

She's also in a position where she can do these things. She has an American husband and is working in a liberal country. If someone working in a Russian theater did or said similar things, they'd be ruining their career AT BEST- it's worth repeating that all major Russian theatres are directly funded by the Ministry of Culture.

Now people also ask why aren't there more people like Olga Smirnova. Allow me to make another comparison. Some members of MT corps de ballet have left, thinking of MT's Oleg Ignatev, Murat Ushanov, Vsevolod Mayevskyi. The latter is Ukrainian but the first two aren't. None have attracted major attention for leaving simply because they're not huge stars. Mayevskyi talks about leaving Russia with only a few hundred dollars and no credit cards - a terrifying transition. Yet he's the only one of the three still dancing in a company, largely because he is Ukrainian and YAGP made a massive effort to network for them.

I'm certainly not trying to make false equivalencies here, but a Russian dancer speaking out would cost them their job at a minimum, and not all of them have the connections or Smirnova-equivalent star power to convince another company to take a chance on them. Not all of them have the money to just drop everything and leave if their safety was threatened- something that Smirnova certainly didn't have to worry about given who she's married to. They also likely don't have the money to get their family out safely if things turn sour - corps members are making a pittance. It's much easier and safer to just leave without making a public statement if you are willing to take that risk or even just keep your mouth shut and stay- especially when you have colleagues and bosses who do support the war. Of course, the regime and government are horrible, but I find it hard to condemn individuals who are simply trying to protect themselves and their families. It's not as simple as just pressuring people to speak up.

I don't know how many fellow tennis fans follow me, but I'm finding parallels between criticism directed at Osipova and at Daniil Medvedev, the current world #3. He hasn't been quite as direct as some of his contemporaries, Andrey Rublev and Daria Kasatkina, but has repeatedly said that he is for peace, wishes the war would stop and his wife has been pictured during matches in his box wearing a blouse with a blue and yellow collar.

There are higher consequences for public figures speaking out, Duma agents have visited Kasatkina's house (she was not home) and is apparently going to be classified as a 'foreign agent' for her actions. She likely will never return to her home country, she's incredibly brave and this is getting renowned praise as it should. That being said, it's a tremendous sacrifice to make and one that you can't expect everyone to replicate. This NYT article is about Ukrainian and Russian tennis in this turbulent time, but a great read for the intersection of sports and politics, much of which would apply to arts as well.

#ballet #russian ballet #tennis #ballet ask #ukraine #russian invasion #natalia osipova

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sl-vega · 7 months

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✧y/n and company✧

✧(y/n)✧-drama major. your mom signed you up for acting lessons when you were a kid, and it turned out you were really good at it. you've consistently landed leading roles throughout middle school and high school. quotes broadway a lot

✧fischl✧-english major, drama enthusiast and one of your roommates. the two of you met during orientation, and you really hit it off. she has a pet raven named oz, who she includes in many of her works. she's also a cosplayer and makes those super intricate and robust outfits. you've been forced to be her personal photographer for her mini photo-shoots

"just a few more takes-oh and make sure to get one with me and oz"

"fischl, you said "a few more takes" 2 hours ago"

✧nilou✧-dancing major and your other roommate. you met her when your mother brought you to a ballet recital when you were younger. since then you've been super close. when the two of you were in middle school, you made her teach you broadway choreography.

"y/n i really need to go home-"

"you aren't taking a step out of this house until you teach me candy store's choreo"

✧venti✧-music composition major, performs gigs at bars in exchange for free wine. he's the type of student who can write really good essays when he's completely blacked out. he can (allegedly) name any wine just by tasting it

"dandelion wine, 1968"

"it's actully osmathus-"

"that was my second guess"

✧lyney✧-drama major with a minor in psychology. does magician gigs every now and then uses his psychology skills to gaslight his audience. he and his sister lynette formed a magic duo when they were younger, and they've won loads of talent shows throughout elementary school and high school.

"y/n, are you 100% sure that this isn't your card?"

"oh my archons-yes lyney i'm sure-"

✧lynette✧-chemistry major and lyney's twin sister. she helps out with behind-the-scenes work for your university's productions. she's lyney's magic assistant and joins him on his magician gigs. she doesn't talk much but she's a great listener.

"nice weather we're having"

"...i suppose"

additional notes:

-teyvat university (ik so creative)

-everyone is in their sophmore (second) year (19-20 years old)

-venti lives in an apartment off campus alone

-lyney and lynette live in the dorms together, and they have a cat named rosseland

✧Going off Script✧

Synopsis:

Xingqiu's next major project requires him to write a romantic short story, the only problem is that he has zero romantic experience. meanwhile, you just found out that your boyfriend cheated on you, and you need to show him that you're 100% over him, the only problem is that there's no way you can get an actual boyfriend that quickly. clearly, the solution to both of your issues is to fake date each other. all you need to do is stick to the script

spoiler alert: you go off script and end up falling for him

masterlist

(OPEN) taglist: @freyao7

#xingqiu x reader #xingqiu x y/n #y/n #x reader #reader insert #fischl #nilou #venti #genshin venti #lyney #lynette #lyney and lynette #university au #smau #modern au #modern smau #college au #social media au #genshin impact

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balletroyale · 3 months

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Hello!

I'm going to see my first professional ballet this week!

Do you have any suggestions for things to pay attention to or to do/not do while I'm in the theater?

I'm a regular theater goer for other types of performance, so I know to not talk, put my phone away, etc., but I was curious if there are any ballet specific dos and don'ts or anything that might be generally fun/good to know ahead of time?

(I'm seeing The Joffrey Ballet's Anna Karenina at the LA Music Center, if that makes any difference!)

That's so exciting; I remember my first professional ballet performance so vividly. You'll never forget these memories!

The ballet is very similar to the theatre, and companies are desperate for ballet to seem more open and and less fussy. So there aren't really any major faux pas you could make.

One thing that is different from the theatre is that if there is live music, the conductor will walk out to applause. When you see him start clapping!

In classical works the audience will applaud when the leads come out. I'm not sure if that would happen in a newer work like Anna Karenina.

One thing I try to do during the ballet is always try to balance watching specific dancers vs. the bigger picture. So for example during a corps bit I will try to look at everyone individually but then make sure I also take in the bigger 'picture' of the dance. But really, you should just watch it however you'd like!

Have an amazing time :)

#ask

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antialiasis · 2 years

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Chess (the musical)

So Chess is a 1984 concept album and subsequent stage musical with story and lyrics by Tim Rice and music by Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus from ABBA. On the surface, it is called Chess because it is about some chess grandmasters vying for the chess world championship and the woman who leaves one’s employ and enters a relationship with the other. Under the surface, the real reason it’s called Chess is that the real game of chess is the one played between the US and USSR throughout the Cold War (when it was written and set), in which the characters are all pawns being played against each other to serve the interests of the warring states.

That’s a cool concept! Definitely the sort of concept you’d come up with and think, I have to make something about this, and then you try to come up with the details. Tim Rice, apparently, has tried a whole lot of times to come up with the right details: apparently every other production of this musical tries to rewrite the plot, to the point Wikipedia has a comparison table of plot points between different productions. That’s not as in just changing little details around or cutting or adding a song here and there, like you get with many other musicals; it includes stuff like turning a plot involving two chess tournaments against two different opponents a year apart into one with just a single tournament against one opponent, flipping pivotal character decisions and motivations around completely, making the ending the exact opposite of what it was, etc. etc.

For the purposes of this post, the production we actually watched was Chess in Concert from 2008, with Adam Pascal, Josh Groban and Idina Menzel, which is heavily based on the original West End production from 1986 but with some modifications. I will be doing some character analysis rambling, but be aware that with respect to other productions half of what I have to say may just be blatantly wrong. Man, it must be a trip to be in the Chess fandom. (Hello if you’re here from the tag.)

All in all, I have extremely mixed feelings about Chess. On the one hand, I have two big, major writing problems with it that made me just not enjoy watching the full production very much. On the other hand, it has some genuinely really good interesting bits that I like a whole lot, and also there are some real banger songs. Going to be my work soundtrack for a little while, probably. Summary and lengthy complaining and rambling below.

In an alternate 1979, the chess world championships are being held in the town of Merano, Italy. American reigning champion Freddie Trumper, loosely inspired by Bobby Fischer, is widely considered the wild boy of chess for his unpredictable behaviour and aggressive personality, which he plays up for the press because there’s no such thing as bad publicity. He has a lucrative deal with a company called Global Television that broadcasts the tournament, and his contact with them, Walter, is secretly some kind of undercover CIA agent. The challenger is Anatoly Sergievsky, a mild-mannered Russian who feels increasingly trapped despite his successes, kept on a tight leash by his handlers from the government, particularly scheming political operative Molokov.

Freddie’s second (sort of a chess personal assistant) is Hungarian-born Florence Vassy, who was sent from Budapest to the UK when the Soviets invaded in 1956, when she was five years old. She has grown weary of his antics over the years and tries to persuade him to please stop making remarks like “All Soviets deserve abuse” and assaulting reporters at press conferences, but to no avail. During the tournament’s first game (the actual chess games are staged as symbolic ballet between dancers dressed in black and white and it’s pretty neat), Freddie flips the board over and walks away. (That’s what appears to be happening in the staging, at any rate, though Global Television goes on to describe it as if who flipped the board was ambiguous; hard to tell if they’re meant to be describing it in a “Who can say!” way because they’re American, or if the situation is actually meant to be more ambiguous than it looked in the staging.)

Florence arranges a meeting between the two players to talk it out, prompting Freddie to lash out about whether she’s even on his side or the side of the Soviets who invaded her country, and how her father would be ashamed of her if he were alive. By the time Florence gets to the proposed meeting, Freddie isn’t there, leaving her awkwardly alone with Anatoly, who briefly wonders if she’s working for them – I mean us (he doesn’t think of the Soviet political machine as his own side). They vent their frustrations, find each other pretty, and start to connect. Freddie finally arrives, revealing he was late because he was working out a new deal with Global Television to get them even more money for participating, and now that they’ve got that he’s perfectly happy to continue the match.

Anatoly plays masterfully and soon leads five games to one. Freddie channels his agitation at being near-beaten and jealousy at the connection he saw between Florence and Anatoly into a paranoid, misogynistic rant at her about how this is what she wanted all along and it’s all because she’s a woman. She’s disgusted and quits; Freddie calls her a parasite. After a moment of angry self-pity, Freddie concedes the match altogether, leaving Anatoly the new world champion. Anatoly immediately sets out with Florence, who he has entered into a romantic relationship with, to defect to the UK to escape Soviet scrutiny.

Act II takes place a year later, at the next world championships in Bangkok, where Anatoly will be defending his title against the next Soviet challenger, a loyal Russian ‘chess-playing machine’ named Viigand. Freddie is there to commentate on the match for Global Television.

Molokov arranges to have Anatoly’s wife Svetlana, whom he left behind with their two children when he defected with Florence, sent to Bangkok to stress him out. He also secretly coordinates with Walter to get Freddie to do a barbed interview with Anatoly where he shows him video of his wife, until Anatoly storms out. Later, Walter and Molokov launch a multi-pronged plan to pressure Anatoly to just plain throw the match and return to the Soviet Union, in exchange for the USSR releasing some political prisoners. Molokov successfully threatens Svetlana into imploring him to come back, while Walter tells Florence that her father is alive in prison in Russia (something Molokov had told him) and they’ll be able to put him at the top of the list for prisoners to be returned if she persuades Anatoly to lose. Florence refuses the deal but is deeply upset, unable to let go of the thought of being able to see her father again. Walter then orders Freddie to approach Anatoly about it with a veiled threat to his employment; he does, acting all friendly, but Anatoly’s not buying it for a second. Freddie then goes to Florence instead, also apparently on their orders but trying to appeal to her based on their previous rapport instead, telling her they can work things out and imploring her to come back to him, but Florence and Anatoly are both as disgusted with him as ever, refusing his pleas.

After a dark moment of reflection about his issues, Freddie approaches Anatoly again — to help him. He’s noticed a flaw in Viigand’s strategy and implores Anatoly to win the match, for the integrity of the game and so that Walter and Molokov won’t get what they want.

Anatoly and Viigand play their final game, and in the end, Anatoly follows Freddie’s advice and wins the match like he was always capable of, in spite of how it alienates both Svetlana and Florence, because it’s the only way he can remain true to himself and retain a shred of symbolic freedom - but he decides to return to the Soviet Union anyway afterwards, to give himself up in exchange for Florence’s father. Anatoly and Florence regretfully reaffirm their love and say goodbye to each other before he leaves. Florence is left alone with Walter, who tells her they’ll get her father, if he’s still alive - oh yeah, they don’t actually know anything about that, who knows, but then again she already never knew if he was actually dead. No change there! Goodbye! (I don’t think we know whether Walter just distrusts Molokov’s information, which would be reasonable, or whether Walter is just telling her they don’t know to cover for not actually planning to bargain for her father at all.) In short, politics screwed everyone over and everything is terrible, but at least Anatoly managed to stay true enough to himself to refuse to let them fix the tournament.

My biggest problem with Chess, at least this production, is that it feels very padded; the pacing is atrocious. Based on my plot summary, do you want to take a guess at how many songs it takes for us to get to the very first chess match, the one I talked about in my second paragraph? Did you guess “Chess Game #1” being song number thirteen?

We have an entire seven-minute song about the town of Merano, Italy where the first act is set (minus a one-and-a-half-minute interlude where Freddie and Florence are introduced), sung by its anonymous inhabitants. Which would be fine, except the town of Merano and its inhabitants have no role whatsoever in the actual narrative, as evidenced by how half of the productions of this thing just casually move it to take place somewhere else entirely. The Arbiter, the tournament’s referee, gets a two-part “I am” song, despite not being a character - he narrates some things and makes a couple of brief inconsequential comments, but at no point is he as a person or his arbiter role actually relevant to anything (he doesn’t even actually arbitrate in the actual dispute that comes up), so why do we need to spend a song on that? We have a full song devoted to all the merchandise for the tournament, which I guess makes a point about the marketing of the whole thing but that point is already made heavily elsewhere and we certainly don’t need an entire song to do it. We have a choir singing a hymn to the game of chess, which is nice and all but please, Tim Rice, just get to the actual story you’re trying to tell, I am begging you. A musical can get away with a song or two that’s not super meaningful but just good fun, but you can’t just write a whole array of inconsequential fluff songs and stuff them all in there before the first significant event of the plot even happens!

(Which is to say, of course nothing will stop you doing this, and this musical is successful despite it, and I feel like the sort of base cultural stereotype of a musical consists of exactly that sort of thing, where sometimes the story stops so we can have a fun musical number. But as that one musical fan whose passion for musicals is driven entirely by appreciation for their potential to tell compelling stories in an especially hard-hitting way and not at all by desire to just see some fun singing and dancing, I hate it, please stop.)

Some of these songs are fun on their own – as I mentioned, I like the soundtrack, though it took me a couple listens; the ABBA guys are good at composing catchy bits and nailing a vibe – but within this narrative, they’re simply filler. All in all I honestly found Chess just tedious to sit through at times, with the general sense that nothing was happening a lot of the time and that the story progression was glacially slow – the show is two and a half hours but could easily have told the same story equally effectively in much less time. It gets better once it gets going, but like, it still finds time to have a substantial choral piece slowly singing the names of all the real-life previous world champions before the final match (“Endgame #1”), which sets a nice mood but goes on way longer than it needs to to do that, only for the song directly following it, “Endgame #2”, to also feature a choir singing the names of all the previous world champions in the background anyway but better. (Did they make two versions of this concept and end up including both of them in full for some reason? Surely they could have started with just a few champions to set the mood and saved the full list of champions for “Endgame #2”? I just do not understand the choices being made here.)

I was earnestly surprised by this because Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Jesus Christ Superstar and Evita are all good at not doing this. Evita has a song about Buenos Aires, but it’s not just there so we can have a song about Buenos Aires; it’s there to show us Eva’s attitude as she arrives in the city and her determination to rise to the top. I had figured Tim Rice seemed to have pretty good instincts on making sure each song is playing a legitimate part in telling the story. But that’s eminently not the case in Chess - so maybe it’s Andrew Lloyd Webber who brought that sensibility to their partnership (I mean, he did write Cats, but that’s also decidedly not meant to have a central narrative other than, “Here are some cats as described in T.S. Eliot’s poetry,” so that’s probably understandable either way), or maybe the ABBA guys wrote songs he liked that tempted him to include them even when they didn’t really belong, or maybe it’s just that adapting other material gave him lots of ideas for meaningful songs to drive the story forward, while now that he was doing an original story he had a harder time thinking up enough meaningful material, or simply wasn’t sure enough what material was going to be meaningful (I can easily picture the Arbiter having been intended for a more significant role at some stage, for instance – I was kind of surprised when he wound up completely irrelevant), and then never quite managed to decisively distill it down to what mattered.

Aside: I like “The Story of Chess”, the opening song going over the history of chess. But one of the things I liked about it was that it felt like intriguing symbolic foreshadowing for the overall shape of the story, talking about a queen whose sons fought over the throne until one killed the other, leading to the grief-stricken queen telling the remaining son she can’t forgive him for this, while he invents chess to try to demonstrate to her that it was all the dead brother’s fault. I’d heard vaguely that the story was a love triangle, and it seemed to check out that this could symbolize where the story would be going – woman loves both of these chess players, one of them destroys the other in a literal or figurative sense in the course of their competition for the title and perhaps her attentions, she’s devastated and ends up cutting ties with the one who won, who nonetheless can’t accept fault. Only then… that’s not at all what the overall shape of the story is? Sure, Freddie’s aggression about Anatoly drives Florence away from him while he staunchly insists he was in the right. But that’s just some stuff that happens in Act I, and meanwhile Anatoly wins the tournament, and Florence and Anatoly only really start to care about each other after this, and the whole main thrust is entirely unrelated? “The Story of Chess” feels like the ghost of some very early draft of the story, still there despite the plot having evolved into something completely different. It feels really strange to me - this whole narrative about the queen and her sons is kind of odd and pointless if it’s not foreshadowing!

(Another aside: I would kind of object to the notion this musical is ‘about a love triangle’. In this production it’s not explicit exactly what the nature of Freddie and Florence’s relationship was in the first place, but even if it was romantic (which I do think is a sensible reading of how it plays out, don’t get me wrong), Florence leaves him early and there isn’t the slightest hint she has a shred of romantic feelings left for him after that. Freddie may have lingering one-sided feelings for her, but at no point is there tension regarding who Florence loves or whether she might go back to Freddie, and even if you could call it a triangle with the one-sided Freddie-Florence, that side is basically a minor aside and not at alllll the main point of any of this.)

This brings us to my other main problem with Chess, which is that I don’t care about the romance, at all. The musical never properly makes me believe or get invested in Florence and Anatoly’s relationship, and then a whole lot of it is about that, and I just don’t care if they end up together or if Anatoly goes back to Svetlana or whatever. I care about Anatoly feeling suffocated by the endless political games and machinations going on around him, and about Florence’s trauma from the Budapest invasion that gives her trust issues and makes her lash out at Molokov for trying to reach out to her as a “fellow Eastern European”. I even care about her relationship with Freddie – in the sense that he is hair-raisingly toxic and manipulative towards her and I’m glad she gets the hell away when she does, but at least I care. But Florence and Anatoly, half of the musical is devoted to this relationship and I just don’t feel any kind of way about it. Let’s try to dissect how it’s portrayed a bit and muse a bit on romance writing in the process.

Early in the show, we see brief off-hand lines showing Florence and Anatoly are aware of each other and sort of view each other as the “good ones” on the other side - Florence thinks Anatoly seems like a nice guy, objects to Freddie abusing him, and assumes that the fidgeting that apparently annoyed Freddie was something he was ordered to do by his handlers, while Anatoly thinks someone as civilized and nice as Florence has no business running with someone like Freddie.

In “Mountain Duet”, which is the most convincing the romance ever gets to me, Florence and Anatoly are alone together for the meeting Freddie’s late for, and it’s awkward, and they share a bit of a moment of frustration with Freddie and wonderment at each other being basically pleasant company and why they aren’t getting out of their respective cages. There’s a little bit of vague flirting – “So I am not dangerous, then? What a shame” – and then they’re straight to I don’t know why I can’t think of anything I would rather do than be wasting my time on mountains with you, before being interrupted by Freddie’s arrival. Bit quick for the grand declarations that there’s nothing they’d rather do, but okay, that’s a start, I can see how this might develop from here…

…only the next thing that happens with them is simply that we’re told as part of a Global Television news report that she’s helping him defect to the UK. They stand beside each other as he’s questioned at the embassy, including about his wife and kids and how they’re not coming with him. At this point I was squinting a bit like hmm, so are they meant to be in a relationship now? Did that just happen offscreen?

Then Florence sings “Heaven Help My Heart”. It’s… a pretty generic love song about how the feelings she’s feeling have no reasonable explanation and she worries before long he’ll sort of know everything there is to know about her and maybe then he’ll get bored of her. It’s the sort of #relatable love song that you could copy and paste to have any number of different characters sing about each other. Maybe it wouldn’t work for every conceivable couple, sure – but nonetheless, none of this is in any way specific to Florence and Anatoly. So she’s there telling me about how much she loves him, but I can’t tell why she’s feeling all this about this particular guy at all. Even if her worries were just contextualized in a way where something about him makes her think that, that would make it easier to actually connect it to these characters and their relationship. Does Anatoly act like the only reason he likes her is the idea of her having secrets he doesn’t know? I have absolutely no idea, because we’re not shown anything like that.

Anatoly gets hounded by the press about the whole leaving his wife behind thing, and then sings about his lingering love for his home country as something that transcends politics and conflict, but still nothing on his end on why Florence. The first time we see Florence and Anatoly actually interact since getting together, it’s in the very functional “One More Opponent”, where they’re basically just talking about the plot, followed by “You and I”, where they reflect on Svetlana’s upcoming arrival and how This is an all-too-familiar scene / Life imperceptibly coming between / Those whose love is as strong as it could or should be. Okay, your love is very strong, cool, but I still don’t know what the two of you even like about each other! In “The Interview”, as Freddie digs into Anatoly about Florence and her motivations, he defends her with Chess is her passion! – is chess her passion? Does he like that about her? We’ve certainly never seen her play any chess, or him talk to her about chess. No idea.

Florence and Svetlana then get a distant duet, “I Know Him So Well”, where they’re both simultaneously accepting that probably Anatoly belongs with the other one and that on some level they knew this all along, Florence figuring he needs more security, Svetlana that he needs fantasy and freedom. I like that fine in principle, it’s a nice duet with a good melody and pretty harmonies, but once again I just don’t think the setup has made this hit well enough, not when I don’t have any visceral sense of Florence’s feelings for him or why she doesn’t want to lose him, just kind of a series of declarations that she loves him, super loves him, their love is so strong.

During “Endgame #2”, despite Florence’s own refusal of the deal, and as far as we could see not having encouraged Anatoly to accept it at any point, she sings about how everyone will fall to fame and possessions in the end while “1956 - Budapest Is Rising” plays in the background, implying that she wishes Anatoly would deliberately lose to help her reunite with her father, but worries instead he’ll just fall to fame, which I think is a bit of a stretch with regards to his possible motivations for not doing that but okay. “Endgame #3/Chess Game #3” features presumably imaginary versions of Florence and Svetlana berating Anatoly as he contemplates what to do during the final game (at least I assume he didn’t literally stand up from the chessboard in the middle of the game to loudly argue with his wife and lover about whether he should win the game or throw it). He hates the thought that right now everyone sees him as a man who they think has just lost his touch, or who can’t focus because of personal baggage, and he hates the thought of giving in to these demands and having to live with that and being perceived that way. His imaginary Florence is vicious:

Since you seem to have shut out The world at large Then maybe I should cut out Your tiny inessential World-- inconsequential In the kind of game you're playing How do you do it? I tried to be that cynical but blew it I only changed your life You left your home, your wife I'm not surprised I slipped your mind

We don’t know if this is something the real Florence said to him or something his mind is just imagining she might say to him, but either way Anatoly’s agitated conclusion to this mental debate in the moment is that Florence and Svetlana both hated his success, never understood him, just want to steal his work and success and freedom, and his only obligation is to himself. I think this is the most interesting moment of their relationship – supposing imaginary Florence here really is representative of what the real Florence had been saying or thinking, then they’re both having minor breakdowns under the pressure of Walter and Molokov’s manipulation, her feeling as if Anatoly not playing along means she doesn’t really matter to him at all, and Anatoly feeling like she’s just one of everyone around him continually playing politics with him and suffocating his own passions and freedom, when both are really brainworm outbursts in the heat of the moment (in reality, again, Anatoly is about to choose to return to the Soviet Union for the sake of Florence getting her father back anyway, and they sing a concluding reprise of “You and I” where they reassert their love for each other and desire to meet again in spite of everything).

But imagine how much stronger this moment might have been if we’d spent less of our time up to this point just sort of generically asserting how much they love each other and more on building better up to their respective issues as they come out here. Imagine if their songs prior had involved, say, Anatoly’s feelings about Florence being significantly tied to the idea that with her he’s free – after all, she’s the one who helps him defect from the Soviet Union – and then when he feels as if Florence just wants to suffocate and play politics with him too it breaks him. Imagine if Anatoly had repeatedly reassured her specifically that he would always be on her side, and she’d always been wary of believing that thanks to her trust issues but it gave her real hope to try to believe it, and then the feeling that he’s breaking that promise after all cracks her. Or even just some kind of real sense that they actually enjoy each other’s company beyond the tiny taste in “Mountain Duet”! A sense that they trust each other! It would have been cool to have a song where they play chess and just have a good time doing it, or a song where Anatoly confesses to her why he wants to defect. Any of the many other kinds of ways you could play this that’d establish meaningfully what their relationship actually means to these specific characters, in this story, in a way that would get us invested and lend punch to the drama, instead of generic empty declarations of love where we just have to take the lyrics’ word for it.

Character relationships become real and impactful when there’s something unique and specific about them that hits home. Individual moments of them having fun together, of them caring about each other, of them knowing each other and interacting in a way only those two characters would. If you just keep telling me that they love each other, with the exact same words you could apply to a million different couples, and don’t actually show it, I’m not really going to believe it, and ultimately I’m just not going to care one way or another if they have to break up, or feel any feelings at their parting.

In my rambling on Evita, I grumped about how an Icelandic production seemed to think the core of the story was a romance, which it isn’t. But Eva and Juan’s relationship isn’t not a romance, despite starting as a mutually beneficial political arrangement. He genuinely falls for her drive and passion over time (at one point he suggests they just retire from politics and live in comfort together and she adamantly persuades him otherwise) – and in “You Must Love Me”, the late song added in the movie, Eva notices in wonder after collapsing from cancer that Juan is still by her side, worrying about her, even though in her current state she can’t benefit him at all, and feels emotions she never names about that. “You Must Love Me” is simultaneously a realization – he must love her for real after all – and a wish – she needs that to be true right now, in a moment of unusual vulnerability. All of how their relationship plays out is weird and messed-up and kind of fascinating and does not involve a single “I love you”, but because it’s weird and unusual and specific to the odd, complicated relationship that these two people have, I find myself feeling a lot more feelings about this obsessive problematic determinator woman realizing her literal dictator husband genuinely loves her than I ever managed to feel about Florence and Anatoly.

I do like “Endgame #3/Chess Game #3” a lot; it’s legitimately interesting, good character-driven drama and the music is great and intense and makes for a gripping climax. I like the core of Anatoly and Florence’s characters individually, even though they end up spending a whole lot of their time on their romance that I feel absolutely nothing about. But… confession time, my favorite character in Chess is Freddie. Or, at least, my favorite character in Chess in Concert is Freddie.

Freddie is terrible. But I think he’s coherently, interestingly terrible, and winds up having an arc that I actually like a lot. For the whole of Act I, he acts mostly concerned about money and publicity, and is viciously mean-spirited and manipulative with Florence when he feels like she’s taking Anatoly’s side instead of his. In Act II, Walter has a tight grip on him, using him against Anatoly - but we can see he’s not happy about it. He does the whole cruel interview, and makes it personally nasty, but afterwards, as Walter compliments him on it, he just walks away without a word. While subtly threatening him into pushing Anatoly to lose the game and go back to Russia, Walter says, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, huh?”, trying to play on his personal jealousy and spite, but Freddie doesn’t respond to that. He plays his part, says the lines, all while Anatoly insults him and asks who put him up to it; afterward he makes the desperate bid for Florence only to get roundly rejected and treated with disgust again. And then…

The moment of reflection that I mentioned Freddie has here is the song “Pity the Child #2”. It’s relatively straightforward tragic backstory exposition about his childhood: he was neglected by his constantly arguing parents and learned to just shut himself up in his room and to survive by not caring, practicing his chess, and simply not asking if they were arguing because of him, just in case they said yes. When he was twelve his father (who’d called him a fool and probably queer) moved out, and he hoped that’d bring him and his mom closer together, but instead she just kept on neglecting him and having a string of relationships with other equally abusive men. He sank himself deeper into chess to cope. Then:

Pity the child, but not forever Not if he stays that way He can get all he ever wanted If he's prepared to pay Pity instead the careless mother What she missed, what she lost When she let me go I wonder, does she know? I wouldn't call, a crazy thing to do Just in case she said, "Who?"

He’s fine! He’s successful and has lots of money now so he can get whatever he wants. No reason to pity him anymore, he is fine. You should really pity his mother for what she missed, losing out on him! He’s not sure if she even knows her son became world chess champion. But he’s not going to call and tell her, because she might answer the phone and not even know who he is, and he can’t face that possibility any more than he could face the possibility his parents’ fighting was his fault, so he just doesn’t. Ouch.

(I enjoy the inconsistent use of third person in this song, adding distance to some of it. I had my game to play, but pity the child with no such weapons, no defense, no escape from the ties that bind. You should pity this other hypothetical child with no coping strategies who’d have no escape from it, definitely not him, because he had chess to play so he was FINE.)

And sure, tragic childhood neglect backstory™, but this really does pretty specifically explain everything about why Freddie is Like That. He’s obsessed with money and infamy because as an adult he convinced himself that having money means he can get whatever he wants now so none of it matters anymore, and his mom’s the one who’s missing out on him, and he wants her to know how successful he is but can’t bring himself to actually contact her so all he can do is be prominently featured in the media and hope somewhere she’s watching. His burst of vicious misogyny triggered by the feeling Florence was betraying him in favor of some other man whose company she prefers is presumably rooted in his mom constantly neglecting him in favor of seeking out ill-fated relationships with random abusive men. And he would respond to his feelings of rejection and neglect by turning inward, to his coping mechanism and singular passion: chess.

Which is what he does now. He hated doing whatever Walter told him to sabotage a chess tournament. He hated being used like a puppet, and the sting of rejection and humiliation, but also, Viigand is just a mediocre chess player. And hence, in his own little final act of rebellion, he defies Walter and approaches Anatoly to tell him that you see, Viigand’s King’s Indian Defense – and when Anatoly says I don’t understand why you’re helping me, Freddie responds:

Because I love chess! Does nobody else? Jesus, sometimes I think I’m the only one! How can you let mediocrity win?

These lines right here, and the song “Talking Chess” in general, were one way or another my favorite bit in this whole musical. After the whole thing has been a tangle of political drama behind the chess tournaments controlled by the bigger players where Freddie and Anatoly were constantly at odds, Freddie wriggles out from under Walter’s thumb and manages to get over himself enough to just come to Anatoly and tell him no, actually, fuck it, win this thing, you can win, because you’re a better player than Viigand and you shouldn’t give any of these manipulative chucklefucks what they want. This competition is supposed to be about chess.

This is Freddie’s final scene here. The progression from “The Deal (No Deal)”, where Freddie is repeatedly scorned and rejected in the process of going along with Walter and Molokov’s schemes, to the raw lowest point of “Pity the Child #2” that makes his character make sense, to this little act of blazing defiance in reaching across the aisle (which also implicitly means he’s finally willing to swallow his pride about Anatoly and admit that he fully deserved to be world champion and Freddie always knew that) for the sake of the integrity of the game that he grew up with as his only passion and companion, is just really good and cathartic to me. I feel like it makes Anatoly’s decision to go for the win feel more satisfying, too – makes it implicitly represent more, a rebellious act of both players against the political operatives playing them. I just enjoy it a lot.

And… this song/scene apparently only exists in specifically the 1986 London West End production and its particular derivatives. All other versions, Freddie doesn’t do this and “Pity the Child #2” is just a bit of expository self-pity that doesn’t lead to anything and also may be placed way earlier in the show. The liner notes on the original concept album apparently explained that by the end Freddie has completely stopped caring about chess and only cares about politics and Florence rejecting him. I am appalled! This is the best bit and it’s what makes Freddie’s whole character worth it! Freddie caring about chess most important part of Chess the musical 2k23.

(At least presumably in every version Freddie still spends “One Night in Bangkok” explaining to a bunch of sex workers that he’s just here for the chess, thank you very much. You’re talking to a tourist / Whose every move’s among the purest / I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine […] I don’t see you guys rating / the kind of mate I’m contemplating / I’d let you watch, I would invite you / but the queens we use would not excite you. In the Chess in Concert choreography he definitely seems to be enjoying the physical attention during the instrumental break, and you can definitely validly interpret these lines with a certain sense of irony, but honestly is it just me or do the lyrics as written make him sound super ace. I am very here for Freddie just legitimately thinking chess is better than sex. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had issues with sex regardless based on his whole being neglected while his mother brought random guys into bed thing.)

So, I think this is a distinctly flawed show, I have some notes, but one way or another the bits I do like have stuck pretty firmly in my head, and somehow I have now spent a couple of days banging out 6000 words about it. All in all Tim Rice appears to be quite up and down for me but when he hits he really hits, bless him. Interesting characters and character dynamics really are my one true weakness.

Also the ABBA guys are good at this. I’m trying to convince myself not to make a musical motif chart for this too.

#musicals #chess musical #chess the musical #chess in concert #ramble #review

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patricedumonde · 1 year

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I'm not sure what I'm missing about Koshkaryova recently but I have found her dancing underwhelming thus far? I thought she was fantastic at the Moscow IBC (Shirin variation!!!) but since then she has looked very messy. Her Corsaire, DQ bridesmaid variation and Paquita varation- all seemed noticeably off the music, frenetic, turned in and slightly sloppy turns with stiff arms. Also something about her epaulement seems off. I hope this is not related to preparing too many new roles too quickly. Additionally, I don't understand the double standards Valiullina is facing about her body type. Some people complain that she is too heavy for ballet yet fail to find fault with to other brilliant, less than stick-thin ballerinas like Maria Alexandrova and Angelina Vorontsova. I find Valiullina lovely with very effortless technique, an good jump and commanding stage presence, so naturally think the comments about her weight are quite unnecessary.

Probably because being good in competitions doesn't translate to being good in a major stage. I think there's two ways to think about this.

First, she's a fresh graduate. It's normal for her to be nervous. They're not just debuts, they're debuts on her first few months with the company. I think every legend in ballet has had their fair share of failures on stage. She'll probably have more solid footing after her first year. Second, the expectations for her are high because she's the top graduate and she's already a soloist. The bar is a lot higher for her than Yaroslavna and Sofia. Anything she will do, whether it be average or above, will likely be overlooked since we're expecting more from her.

That said, there's a lot to work on and I think she will and probably is working on them. Aside from her Paquita debut (Trilby Variation), I think she's been fine. Also, I don't know what she danced in Corsaire? Or if Bolshoi has performed Corsaire this season.

Here's a video of Natalia Makarova talking about her failures!

youtube

For Sofya, ugh I love her. You can tell that she's a thoughtful dancer. She's not a risk taker like Maria. Her technique is flawless and she's captivating on stage. She is my bias hahaha. To be honest with you, I don't look at instagram comments nor overtly negative telegram channels/forums so I'm not aware of the comments about her body. If there's an overwhelming amount of people judging her for that, that is disappointing. Does she have a more mature body, yes. Does it affect her dancing in any way whatsoever, no. She literally has the same body type as Maria Bulanova! I don't see why they can't accept her as well. She has so much potential, I hope they never hold her back just because she doesn't have the body of her 13 year old self?

#russian ballet #vaganova #bolshoi ballet #maria koshkaryova #sofia valiullina #patrice answers

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Above: the Maryinsky Ballet in the Diamonds section of Jewels. Photo: Kassir St. Petersburg

The New York Times has several new articles on the New York City Ballet to mark its 75th Anniversary Season, which opens Sept. 19. I'll be posting them all.

CITY BALLET AT 75

The Long Life and Long Reach of George Balanchine’s Butterflies

Balanchine didn’t think his ballets would last. But many have become classics, the cornerstone of repertory not just at City Ballet but around the world.

By Brian Seibert

While celebrating its 75th anniversary this fall, New York City Ballet is performing 18 ballets by its founding choreographer, George Balanchine. But to get a sense of the global standing of Balanchine, 40 years after his death, other numbers might be more telling. Last year, for instance, around 50 other ballet companies across the world performed his works, about 75 dances in total.

Balanchine likened his ballets to butterflies: “They live for a season.” But they have lasted much longer than that. They have become classics, cornerstones of the international repertory, 20th-century equivalents of 19th-century staples like “Swan Lake,” danced everywhere by all the major ballet companies and most of the minor ones, too.

These ballets, like Balanchine, emerged from the same Russian Imperial tradition as “Swan Lake,” but were shaped—as he was—by America, and by modernism and other 20th-century searches for the new. Always intimately connected to music, they sometimes told stories and sometimes, like music, were more abstract arrangements of forms and energies. They stretched ballet—in technique, in how daring and dynamic it could be, in how little outside of itself it needed — and were unparalleled in range and influence, so much so that the state of ballet is often framed as a question: Where is the next Balanchine?

City Ballet still performs by far the most Balanchine—the most ballets, the most often—but performances by other companies probably reach as many or more people, certainly in more places. All these performances, though, are connected to New York City Ballet, because the dissemination of his works remains a matter of lineage—of connections to Balanchine.

Above: Ballet Imperial (Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto #2) performed by the Paris Opera Ballet, with Valentine Colasante and Pablo Legasa. Photo: Agathe Poupeney

Before City Ballet became a durable laboratory and library for Balanchine’s choreography, he often worked as a choreographer for hire. That’s why American Ballet Theater dances “Theme and Variations,” which he made for that troupe in 1947. But few of the companies he created works for have survived, and most of the works that survived are those that became part of the City Ballet repertory. The company was the hub from which his influence radiated.

In the early years of the company, Balanchine sometimes staged works for European troupes with which he was connected: Paris Opera Ballet, the Royal Danish Ballet, what became the Royal Ballet. The reception to his innovations, especially the more radical ones, was highly variable, both abroad and in the more ballet-bereft country he had made his home. There, Balanchine was both generous and prudent with his ballets.

“He was giving them away for free, but he was in control,” said Jennifer Homans, the author of “Mr. B: George Balanchine’s 20th Century.” “Looking at the correspondence, you can see he was careful about who could do it and who couldn’t, and about which ballets could be done by others and which couldn’t.” He staged them himself, or he sent people he trusted. Francia Russell danced with City Ballet from 1956 to 1961. Since 1964, when she became a ballet master at the company, she has staged more than 200 productions of Balanchine ballets for other troupes. “They weren’t many people doing it at the beginning,” she said. “At first, I staged only ballets that I had actually danced.” Later, it became possible to consult films, but Russell didn’t use them much. “I always said I’m staging them the way I danced them when with Mr. B was with us.”

Left: Ida Praetorius and Jón Axel Fransson of the Royal Danish Ballet in Ballo della Regina. Photo: Henrik Stenberg Right: Pacific Northwest Balllet's Carrie Imler in Apollo. Photo: Angela Sterling

It was during the 1960s that City Ballet became a dominant institution, with a custom-built theater in the new Lincoln Center. An exceptionally large grant from the Ford Foundation put City Ballet and its affiliated School of American Ballet at the helm of a program to support ballet and ballet education. Following Balanchine’s recommendations, the foundation granted seed funding to regional troupes like Boston Ballet and Pennsylvania (now Philadelphia) Ballet. Balanchine granted these fledgling companies something nearly as important: some of his works, free of charge.

That process continued as members of City Ballet founded their own companies or became artistic directors. Arthur Mitchell, the company’s first Black principal dancer, erected the repertory of Dance Theater of Harlem, founded in 1969, on a foundation of Balanchine pieces. Some City Ballet dancers found leadership roles in Europe, like Patricia Neary in Switzerland. In 1977, Russell and her husband, Kent Stowell, moved from Frankfurt Ballet to Pacific Northwest Ballet in Seattle and built it into another outpost of Balanchine repertory.

“Mr. B said he trusted me to only ask for the ballets I thought our dancers could do,” Russell said. “And whatever we wanted, it was ‘Of course, dear.’ He never asked for a penny.” These ballets, she added, “were an education in classical dance for our dancers,” a sentiment commonly voiced by artistic directors. After Balanchine’s death, in 1983, the City Ballet diaspora spread further. In 1985, Edward Villella, a City Ballet star of the 1960s and ’70s, transformed Miami City Ballet into a Balanchinian troupe. That same year, Helgi Tomasson, after dancing with City Ballet for 15 years, became artistic director of San Francisco Ballet, a post he held until 2022. None of these and other companies led by City Ballet alumni danced Balanchine exclusively, but there was a family connection. Successors were often in the family, too. Russell and Stowell were followed (in 2005) by Peter Boal, Villella (in 2012) by Lourdes Lopez, both former principals at City Ballet and alumni of its school.

Above: the San Francisco Ballet in Divertimento #15. Photo: Dave Morgan

By this point, acquiring a Balanchine work was no longer “Of course, dear.” Skeptical that his works could last without him, and never much interested in posterity, he left his ballets in his will not to City Ballet but to 14 dancers and colleagues. The George Balanchine Trust was formed in 1987 to bring some order and stability to the licensing and restaging. The stagers it authorized were all dancers who had been with Balanchine in the classroom and rehearsal studio.

Now Balanchine works circulated to places where they had not before been part of the repertory. Russell was the first to stage one in China, in 1987. The next year, she brought one to the Soviet Union — to the institution then known as the Kirov Ballet (now the Mariinsky), where Balanchine had trained in the first decades of the 20th century but where few of the dancers had seen his works or knew much about him.

Always, there have been questions about authenticity. Balanchine frequently changed his choreography—for different dancers and stages—so which was the right version and in whose memory of it? And beyond the steps, was the spirit transferable, the elusive and usually unspoken ideas, the all-important musicality? Disagreements about these questions—applied to companies of dancers not trained in Balanchine’s aesthetic and modifications to technique, but also to City Ballet—were perpetual and often heated. For many viewers, Balanchine after Balanchine wasn’t Balanchine at all, and couldn’t be. Balanchine had suggested as much himself. And now a new phase is coming. As Russell put it, speaking of her generation, “We’re all too old to preserve that tradition in the same way.”

Above: Left: Sandra Jennings of the Balanchine Trust rehearsing Gabriella McCann of the City Ballet of San Diego. Photo: K.C. Alfred Right: Symphony in C, second movement, with Olga Smirnova and Dennis Rodkin of the Bolshoi Ballet. Photo: Damir Yusupov

Lopez, who is 20 years younger, made a similar point. “There aren’t many of us,” she said, “who worked with him and still talk about him as if he were next door.” But she also spoke about dancers, at Miami City Ballet and elsewhere, hungry to learn Balanchine’s aesthetic, dancers born after he died who talk about him as if they knew him.

It is those kinds of people who make Suki Schorer feel positive about Balanchine’s legacy. A City Ballet member from 1959 to 1972, she wrote a book on Balanchine technique and has been teaching at the School of American Ballet for some 60 years. Asked about Balanchine’s influence today, she listed young teachers, trained at the school, who have fanned out across the country.

Silas Farley is one. Born 11 years after Balanchine died, he encountered the Balanchine lineage at the school of North Carolina Dance Theater, which was run by the former City Ballet stars Patricia McBride and Jean-Pierre Bonnefoux. Farley became obsessed with Balanchine lore, which he absorbed deeply at the School of American Ballet and as a City Ballet member from 2013 to 2020.

“I have always had an acute sense that I’m one of the people who has been entrusted with a lot of these ideas and that, God willing, I’ll be here a long time after the people who entrusted those ideas to me,” he said on a call from Southern Methodist University, where he teaches.

His students, he said, are “empowered by all of Balanchine’s cool amendments and extensions of classical technique. They delight in the granular and the grand, the nuances and the capacity to dance more expansively, more freely.” Balanchine’s works, he added, “are such a big part of their understanding of what ballet is.”

Their understanding and everyone else’s. Those works, however altered by time, remain ubiquitous. Nikolaj Hübbe, a Danish dancer who performed with City Ballet from 1992 to 2008 and has led the Royal Danish Ballet ever since, is one of those who believe in their enduring power. “I don’t think I’ve ever worked with a dancer, even if Balanchine was foreign to them, who did not have an epiphany, a wow feeling, dancing his ballets,” Hübbe said. “Our dancers love them, revel in them. There’s a logic that speaks to all classically trained dancers. The choreography sings well. I don’t think that will ever go away.”

Above: Marianela Núñez and the Royal Ballet in Serenade, 2008. Photo: Johan Persson

#Balanchine #ballet #Balanchine ballet #Balanchine's legacy #rehearsing Balanchine #Maryinsky Ballet #Paris Opera Ballet #Royal Danish Ballet #Pacific Northwest Ballet #San Francisco Ballet #City Ballet of San Diego #NYCB@75 #Bolshoi Ballet #Royal Ballet #Brian Siebert #Francia Russell #Lourdes Lopez #Silas Farley #Nikolaj Hubbe

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