#tonya speaks

[trevorfrankmichael]

HMMMMM STEVEN HELLO???????

[lovebvni]

i

guys THE tonya harding (former olympic figure skater) is following me.

i love and admire her so much. i have so much sympathy and empathy for her and what happened to her.

i’m amazed she’s following MY instagram.

guys… idk if i even manifested it or what but it feels major

[starabxlla]

girls start high school and base their whole personality on one of these bitches

[moonymoonbeam]

so sexy and real of me to read a 1 million word band au in 12 days 🫶🤠

[wrdn-tabris]

ooooh my god

[lexapro-princess]

Ultimate Girlblogger Movie List

1. Ballerina

2. To Catch a Thief

3. The Swan

4. Barbie In The Pink Shoes

5. Rhapsody

6. The Seven Year Itch

7. Thirteen

8. Mean Girls

9. Clueless

10. Girl, Interrupted

11. Marie Antoinette

12. Love In The Afternoon

13. Breakfast At Tiffany's

14. Roman Holiday

15. Barbie and hers sisters in a Pony Tale

16. Barbie of Swan Lake

17. Barbie In The Nutcracker

18. Barbie and the Diamond Castle

19. Barbie and the magic of Pegasus

20. Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper

21. Barbie: a Fashion Fairytale

22. Barbie In The 12 Dancing Princesses

23. Pride and Prejudice

24. Barbie as Rapunzel

25. Pearl

26. 13 going on 30

27. Funny Face

28. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

29. Charade

30. Black Swan

31. Niagara

32. The Virgin Suicides

33. Priscilla

34. Sabrina

35. Emma

36. How To Steal a Million

37. Enchanted

38. Some Like It Hot

39. Lolita (1962)

40. Lolita (1997)

41. The Crush

42. American Psycho

43. The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

44. Monte Carlo

45. Legally Blonde

46. Confessions of a Shopaholic

47. The Devil Wears Prada

48. Valley Of The Dolls

49. Jackie

50. Jennifer's Body

51. Barbie: Princess Charm School

52. The Tourist

53. Abzurdah

54. Riding In Cars With Boys

55. I, Tonya

56. Buffalo 66

57. Girl

58. Heathers

59. Scarface (1983)

60. Gone Girl

61. Corpse Bride

62. Sense & Sensibility

63. Persuasion

64. Little Miss Perfect

65. Changeling

66. Gia

67. Uptown Girls

68. Suicide Squad

69. Last Night In Soho

70. Mirror Mirror

71. Birds Of Prey

72. The Beguiled

73. Palo Alto

74. Speak

75. Leon: The Professional

76. Prozac Nation

77. Red Eye

Let me know if I missed one, leave your suggestions by commenting or reblogging

[lesservillain]

—iii. the smoke, and who's still standing when it clears

cw: some slight implied sexual thoughts?

an: i had to cut a part from this or else it was going to be way too long. see ya in the next one, reefer rick.

“So, how did it go?”

Tonya sits across from you looking perfect as always, such a beautiful light in your life. Even when she’s antagonizing you.

“It was…really nice actually.” A small, shy smile tugs at the corner of your lips as your mind recalls the night before.

Your date with Sam went way smoother than you had anticipated. He picked you up on time, even coming to the door to get you which you knew Tonya was going to bring up today. He did everything right; held open all of the doors, pulled your seat out for you, paid for your food, actually listened to what you had to say and didn’t interrupt you. He was extremely charming and funny, and the two of you had a lot more in common than you expected.

“Sam sounds pretty perfect, doesn’t he?” Tonya says with a teasing tone, eyebrows raising suggestively. 

“Yeah, I guess I’m making him sound that way, huh? It makes me wonder how bad his faults are going to be.” 

“Unless he’s got bodies in his basement I’d say keep him around.” Tonya raises her hand to count on her fingers, “He’s hot, he’s got a good job, good manners—I’d say baby trap his ass.”

“TONYA!” You lean in, whisper yelling at your friend’s suggestion, the two of you breaking out into a fit of giggles. “I am absolutely not doing that. But…I did agree to a second date.”

“I guess I can take that for now,” Tonya shrugs, taking a sip of her mimosa. “Oh, speaking of dates, I almost forgot. Charlie and I are going out of town for our anniversary. He’s taking me to Chicago!” Her giddiness warms you. Even if you aren’t a fan of him, you have to admit seeing your best friend happy brings you your own kind of happiness. 

The sharp sound of the phone ringing makes you jump, almost dropping the plate you were cleaning into the soapy water. You look at the stove clock reading just a little past 8 pm. In the few weeks that you’ve been here not once has the phone ever rang. Walking over to it, your hand hovers over the plastic as you debate on if you should answer it. It’s not like it's your house, but who else is going to answer the phone? 

A sigh of relief comes from you as the phone ceases it’s ringing on its own. The quiet takes over again, and you think you’re in the clear until the ringing starts again. 

Grabbing the phone, you quickly bring it to your ear with a, “Hello?” 

There’s a pause, and you repeat your greeting into the receiver. Suddenly you can pick up some whispering, at least two voices talking to each other on the other line. 

“Sorry, wrong number.” Click. Dial tone.

You look down at the phone before shaking your head and placing it back in place. But only a single step is taken before the phone begins to ring again. Annoyed now, you pick up the phone once more.

“Hello?” You say again, tone reflecting your temperament.

“Ugh, not again,” you hear the voice from the other end groan. “Sorry, miss.” Click. Dial tone again.

‘What the fuck?’ you think, putting the phone back on the hook again. You hover around it for a moment, and sure enough it begins to ring again.

“Listen, kid,” your start, tone firm, “If you keep calling here to bother this family I will call Chief Hopper.”

“You know Hopper?” The younger boy's voice says from the other line. No, you don’t know him. But Wayne told you to say that in case this exact scenario was to arise.

“Yes, I actually have his personal number right here—”

“So do I,” the boy quips back, striking a nerve. You’re about to give this kid an earful before he continues on. “I just saw him earlier today, actually. But that’s not the point. I’m just trying to get a hold of my friend and this is the number his uncle gave me to call and—”

“Uncle?”

“Yes, uncle. I don’t see how out of all the information I gave you that him having an uncle is what caught your attention.”

“Oh, my god, you are so annoying. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Maybe once or twice.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “Is your friend’s name Eddie?”

“YES! Yes! His name is Eddie—”

“Dude, don’t tell her his name—”

“Chill out, Mike, it’s fine—How do you know Eddie?”

“Well,” you draw out, returning some of the attitude back to the other end of the call, “I think me telling you that depends on who is asking?”

There’s a bit of muffled deliberation between the boy on the phone and whoever Mike. You wait patiently, foot tapping against the kitchen tile. After a moment you hear a sigh come from the other line, followed by a throat clearing.

“Okay, fine. My name is Dustin Henderson,” the boy starts. “I’m calling looking for Eddie Munson. He is my friend, and myself and some of his other friends are worried about him. I’m assuming you’re in his house for some reason, and I am asking you if we could talk to him. Please.”

“Dustin Henderson, huh?” You repeat, attempting to keep a bit of sass in your tone. In reality, the name instantly rings a bell. Wayne told you a little about Eddie’s friends, and along with the guys that Eddie was in a band with, the name Dustin came up a lot. Wayne said Eddie looked at Dustin like a little brother he never had. 

It takes everything in you to keep your composure right now. Eddie’s been feeling much better these last couple days, so you’re sure he’ll be delighted to talk to his friends. “Okay, Dustin Henderson. Let me go ask him if he’s up to taking a phone call. Hold on.”

You set the phone down on the kitchen table and jog down the hall to Eddie’s room. Knocking on his door, you push it open slightly before calling into the room.

“Eddie? Are you up?”

“Hmmm…I am now,” the groggy, sleepy voice from the other side of the door sends an unwanted chill down your back. Quickly shaking it off, you enter the room to Eddie sitting up in his bed, hair in every which direction and arms outstretched as he lets out the most unnecessarily loud yawn you’ve ever heard. You give him an unimpressed look to which he returns mockingly.

“Can I help you? Or did you just come in here to stare?”

You roll your eyes, “You have a phone call. From a Dustin Henderson, who seems like he very much would like to speak with you.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up, an excited expression on his face. Though, it’s a fleeting one, as his features become downtrodden and he starts to sink down into himself.

“Tell him I’m asleep.”

“What? Why?”

He huffs. “I don’t want to talk to him…”

“Eddie, he’s called the house at least four times. Can you just—“

“No.”

You watch him sink under the covers again, back into the safety net of his comforter. You stand there for a moment, dumbstruck. Eddie’s can definitely be an ass, but Wayne told you before that Eddie’s friends mean a lot to him.

Leaving Eddie behind in his room, you make your way back to the kitchen. Bringing the phone to your ear, you can hear the boys on the other end having a conversation between them.

“—aybe it’s his girlfriend,” the other boy says teasingly.

“Eddie? With a girl? I’ll believe it when I see it,” Dustin scoffs.

“Hello?” You say into the receiver with a giggle.

“Yes, hi, we’re still here,” Dustin says with urgency.

“Hi, um, so I went to check on him and he says he’s not really feeling up to talking today.”

“Oh, okay…” Your heart aches hearing the disappointment in the boy’s voice.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “Try again tomorrow, okay? Maybe a little earlier. I think his medicine makes him sleepy.”

“Alright, will do,” Dustin perks up. “Thank you ma’am.” 

You give him your name before giving your goodbyes.

Dustin and Mike call every day for the next 4 days. One time with their friend Will, who apparently has never met Eddie but wants to meet him so they can all talk about dungeons and dragons. 

You see, Eddie was their dungeon master in their high school club, which also includes the guys in Eddie’s band. All of them have been playing a new campaign, and they want to give Eddie all the details of their first get together without him.

All of this you have learned against your will, mostly because every time Eddie turns down their phone call, you can’ help but lend an ear when they get going. And, boy, do they get going.

“So we told Will to cast a fireball, but he wanted to save his spell slot and—”

“What's a spell slot?” You sit at the dining room table, flipping through a car magazine Wayne left sitting out.

“It’s, like, the amount of spells you’re allowed to use per day in the game.”

“Ooooh, so he only gets so many?”

“Correct.”

“Well, then yeah it would make sense that he would want to conserve them.”

“See,” Mike stresses from the other end of the line, “She doesn’t even play and she gets it! Quit picking on Will! It’s not like we lost anyway.”

“Yeah, but we would have gotten through the hoard a lot quicker if he had at least tried.”

The sound of Eddie’s bell pulls you from the boys’ banter. “Hey, I’ll be right back,” you say, placing the phone down on the table. 

Sprinting down the hall, you knock quickly before entering the room. Eddie still doesn’t call for you often, so when he does you can't help but worry a bit. “Everything okay—oh shit!” 

Instead of hiding under his covers, Eddie sits back against the headboard of the hospital bed. His covers have all been kicked to the floor and the middle of his bed sheet is drenched. Upon further inspection, you see that his shirt and boxers are soaked as well. 

“Eddie, what happened?”

“What does it look like?!” His tone is full of frustration. “I dropped my fucking cup and the lid popped off and spilled all over the place!”

“Okay, okay,” you say calmly, “I can fix this. Why don’t you get in your chair and I’ll strip the bed?”

“Fine,” Eddie grumbled, face wincing in pain as he slowly moved his body to sit on the edge of the bed. You moved to the side of the bed and offered a helping hand, which he ignored but at least you tried. Once he was properly sitting on the edge, you grabbed his chair and positioned it before raising the bed. 

“Okay, just put your hands on my shoulders…” you start, instructing him like you would one of your patients. “And I’ll just—“ 

Your hands hover for a moment as you fully process that he is only wearing boxers. Wet boxers that, when in close proximity, don’t leave much to the imagination when left wet and sticking to his body.

Not wanting to let your eyes wander, you preoccupy yourself by placing your hands on his hips and grabbing the hem of his undergarment. 

“On the count of three, we’ll pivot. Ready?”

Eddie gives you a nod, placing his hands on your shoulders and holding tightly. You keep your eyes on his foot as you count down, shifting him into his chair in one swift motion. He grunts as he gets adjusted in the chair, a little winded from all the movement. 

“You good?” You ask, taking a step back. 

“I’ll live,” he says with cynicism. 

“You better. Won't look good on me if you die on my watch.

It’s fleeting, but you swear that you see the corner of his lips curl up into a smile before he turns away from you. 

“Whatever,” he mumbles, “I’m gonna get in the shower.”

You perk up at his declaration. “Really? Okay! Let me go hang up with Dustin and the guys and I’ll get my stuff for you.”

Eddie’s hair flies everywhere with the way his head snaps in your direction. His head bows, eyes squinting as he speaks, “What do you mean hang up with Dustin and the guys…?”

“Oh, they called again so I was talking to them.”

“So, you’re saying you’ve been talking to my friends on my phone…?”

“Well you’re not doing it,” you shrug. “They were just telling me about the game you guys play, I guess Will didn’t cast a flameball because he wanted to save one of his slots or something—“

“Okay, first of all, it’s fireball, not flameball. And second, why the hell are they telling you about this stuff? Don’t they have anything better to do?”

“Sorry, fireball,” you apologize with sarcasm. “And, they would be telling you all of this if you would just talk to them.”

His face scrunches up, head shaking before he turns away from you completely. You notice for the first time that he pushes the wheels with the palms of his hands rather than using his fingers to grip them. Having helped set up his dinner for him a few times, you’ve seen that with the tissue damage to his right hand that he doesn’t have much mobility in it. 

The temptation to offer some physical therapy for it sits in your mind. But, you’re not sure how he would react to your offer, so you’ll hold off until you can chip away at him a little more. He pushes himself slowly into the bathroom and closes the door behind him. With a sigh you leave him be and go to hang up the call with the boys. 

After grabbing new bed sheets, you reenter Eddie’s room and begin to strip his bed, piling everything onto the floor. You're about to take off the pillow cases when a sudden clatter has you rushing to the bathroom door. 

Pushing it open, you peer inside to see Eddie sitting at the sink. From what you can see of his reflection, it looks like he’s trying to shave the scruffy, uneven hair that's grown on the non scarred parts of his face. 

“You’re quick, huh?” He comments as he reaches into the sink for his electric razor. 

“Well, can’t blame me after the other day, can you?” You tease, referring to his fall last week. He doesn’t respond and turns the razor back on to continue shaving. 

As you stand there and watch him, your words come out like word vomit. “You look good like that.”

His eyes flick to meet yours in the reflection in the mirror. “What's that supposed to mean?” He asks with a clipped tone.

“It means what I said.” 

And you could leave it at that. You often wonder if he had been bullied even before his scarring with how often he questions any praise you throw at him. But, instead you decide that doubling down and talking more is the proper thing to do. “You look very nice clean shaven. Very handsome.”

Big, brown eyes blink slowly at you. “Well, I’m sorry I didn’t clean up for you before now. I’ll do my best to make myself easier to look at from here on out.” He gives you that same tight lipped smile that you’ve begun to notice whenever he gets an attitude like this.

Your jaw drops and you scoff. “Eddie, that is not what I meant and you know—” He cuts you off by turning on the razor again, the loud buzz muffling your words as it echoes off the bathroom walls. 

Your shoulders slump in defeat. You want to just turn tail and take care of his bed, but decide to get the bathroom set up for him while you’re in there. You place towels on the floor and on his shower chair, leave a couple of washcloths on the built-in handrail, and set the shower head down so that everything is within reach for him. 

“Oh, I almost forgot—“ You were expecting Eddie to still be fidgeting at the sink, too preoccupied with setting things up for him to notice that he was watching you run around his bathroom with amusement. 

“I, um…” his unmoving glare was tense, making you feel like you were being evaluated. “I brought some stuff for your hair to, uh, help with the knots and stuff. Let me go grab them for you.”

The first step you take is slow, expecting some form of protest from him. But, when he remains silent you rush through the door and across the hall to grab the supplies you’ve stowed away in it. Detangler, a pick comb, and some shampoo and conditioner that should help with the curls. 

With full arms you reenter Eddie’s bathroom. He’s moved closer to the shower’s edge and looks to be in the process of removing his shirt on his own. The limited mobility along with the tightness of his scars make it difficult for him to move his arms up above his head, but his stubborn ass seems to be a glutton for punishment.

“Here,” you say, setting everything on the shower shelf. Tugging his shirt up for him, his head disappears inside of the shirt and his fluff of hair reappears as you pull it off completely. You still can't get over how his back is almost completely void of scars when compared to the rest of body. 

“Thanks,” he says without much thought. You hum in return, tossing the shirt on top of his bed.

“Anything else I can help you with?” 

No response. You look back at him and see that he’s completely still. “Everything okay?” You ask, noticing the troubled look on his face as you round his chair. 

“I…” he says quietly, eyes concentrated on the tiles on the floor, “I can’t stand up on my own and take my underwear off…”

Oh.

At this point in your schooling, seeing someone naked wouldn’t normally bother you after all of the saggy boobs and flat butts you’ve washed during your nursing assistant training. It’s a necessary skill to be able to detach the naked body from inherent sexuality in the medical field. 

And Eddie’s body shouldn’t be any different. Just because he’s close to you in age doesn’t make him any different from your previous patients. So why is your face heating up thinking about it?

“I-I see,” you say, trying to not sound as flustered as you are. “Let me think…Oh! Why don't we get you on the seat, we’ll lay a towel across your lap, and then you can shimmy your boxers off under them?”

Eddie mulls it over for a moment before reluctantly shaking his head. You move in front of him to get into position and make another quick transfer onto the shower chair. Eddie hisses in pain next to your ear, most likely due to the stiff plastic of the seat that he’s not used to pushing into his back and butt. 

Placing a towel over his lap, you stand by as he wordlessly slips his hands under it and begins rocking back and forth. You keep your eyes above chest level, not wanting to look away in case he were to start to fall. 

“Shit!” Eddie says, making you look down instinctively. The towel must have caught on his boxers as he was pulling them down, and you watched in slow motion as the towel slipped lower, getting dangerously close to exposing him. 

Thinking quickly, you grab for the towel and hold it up against his skin. Eddie’s hands flail as he tries to get them out from under it as fast as he can. His boxers fall unceremoniously off his thigh and pool around his single ankle. The two of you stare at them, then at your hand that is pressed firmly into his lower abdomen. You have a firm hold on the towel, your hand the only thing keeping it from joining the dark blue boxers on the shower tile as it’s fully fallen off of his lap, draped down to cover his…

…is that his…against the heel of your palm?

Pushing back the inappropriate thoughts starting to form in your mind, you grab the ends of the towel and lay them on Eddie’s lap again. He doesn’t say anything as his hands do their best to hold the fabric in place as you adjust it. You’re almost afraid to look up at him, not wanting to acknowledge that you may or may not have accidentally grabbed your patient by the dick.

“Okay,” you say with as steady of a voice as you can muster, “I think you should be good now. You grab his boxers from around his ankle and quickly make your exit from the shower, pulling the curtain behind you. “Just shout if you need me!”

The hard spray of the shower turning on is the only response you get.

“Ow!”

“Eddie, if you want me to comb out these knots you’re going to have to complain less.”

“I can’t help I have a tender scalp now.”

“Now?”

You can see Eddie’s scrunched up expression in the mirror’s reflection as you spray detangler into his curls. The conditioner had done quite a bit of loosening of his tangles and mats, but there was still a fair bit that needed to be combed out.

“Yes, now. I used to be able to just take a brush through it at the end of the day and be fine. But no one really took care of it when I was in the hospital.”

“Wayne never tried to do anything with it?”

Eddie gives you an annoyed look in the mirror. “You’ve seen my uncle, right? He’s not exactly the person I would go to for my hair care advice.” The shine that comes from the head of the older Munson is definitely prominent. 

“What about the nurses?” You ask as you comb through another successfully detangled section of his hair. He doesn’t respond right away, a distant look in his eyes as he stares at his own reflection.

“No, they couldn’t help me either.”

“Hmm. Well, I don’t mind doing your hair for you. My best friend is a hair stylist and can give me some tips to help you keep it manageable after my time with you is done, too.”

“What do you mean after your time is done?” He asks after a moment.

You tilt your head at him. “Like when my volunteering program is done? I think it goes until the end of the semester. So like the first or second week of December.”

“You’re a volunteer?” There was an angry lit to his tone.

“Y-yeah? I’m sorry I thought you knew—”

“No, I thought…I thought my uncle was paying you to be here.”

You shake your head, “No, no, I’m doing this as part of my schooling. My class is working with the VisitingAngels to get more help in Hawkins. It’s totally free and I don’t make any money, just some extra credit for school.”

Eddie’s face changes as he processes your words, before visibility softening as he looks at you. “Well, I guess you must have pulled the short straw to get stuck with me then.”

There was a complete change in his attitude all of the sudden. The normal agitation in his voice was gone, making his statement sound lighter than anything he’s ever said to you before.

“I picked you.”

His eyes meet yours, dumbfounded. 

“Well, kind of,” you start. “Sa—I mean, they told me that you were a…special case. A lot of information was redacted in your sheet, and, well, you know, with everything else…”

“I’m sure I wasn’t anyone else’s first choice.”

“But, I didn’t think that was fair, so I said I would take care of you. Glad I did, even if you give me more trouble than you’re worth sometimes.”

He rolls his eyes at your teasing and you laugh as you continue to work through his hair. 

Your lower back ached as you climbed out of your car. School was out for teacher’s meetings so you switched with a coworker to have all of Saturday off. Sam asked to take you to the movies for your second date and you both decided to do ice cream after so you wanted to be able to sleep in and lessen the chance of falling asleep during the movie. But you paid the price today, forgetting that your coworker is normally the one who puts inventory away. 

“Hey there, little lady,” Wayne says as he walks out from the backyard. It’s not as hot as it had been, colder weather on the horizon as September was coming to a close, but the older man had a dark gray ring of sweat around the collar of his shirt.

“Hey, Wayne,” you waved to him with a smile. “Getting some last minute yard work done before the rain comes in?”

“Yeah, wanna get this grass seed down so come spring it’ll start to grow. Tired of havin’ta clean mud off m’truck all the damn time.”

“Do you need any help? I used to work all summer in the garden with my grandma as a kid. I’m sure I still have a little bit of green left in these thumbs.”

Wayne’s eyes crinkle when he laughs, the lines looking deep with age. “That’s alright darlin’, I’m done for the day. Preciate ya askin’. Better get inside and get ready fer work.”

You follow him into the house where you’re met with the sound of heavy metal all throughout. You look at Wayne confused, but he just shakes his head and starts heading down the hallway. He pushes Eddie’s door open and your hands fly to your ears with how much louder the music gets before it abruptly stops. 

“What the hell, Wayne!” You hear Eddie whine. 

“Look, I get you’re excited kid but I don’t think your Uncle Ben would appreciate you using his gift to make yourself go deaf.”

“Uncle Ben?” 

Both pairs of Munson eyes land on where you stand in the doorway. They look as if they’ve been caught and you wonder if you should have stayed in the living room. 

“Sorry, I—“

“No, it’s fine,” Wayne says, giving Eddie a look. “Ben is a friend of mine. S’known Eddie since I got custody of em and Eddie’s just always called em Uncle ever since.”

“Oh okay,” is all you said. It seemed like such a normal thing, but the sketchy way they were acting made you not want to press further. “I guess you must have gotten a new toy then, huh?”

Sitting where Eddie’s nightstand was is a cabinet stereo system, decked out with a record player on top and shelves to put cassettes and records underneath. You couldn’t say for sure but it looked brand new, either way it would have cost Uncle Ben a pretty penny to buy it. 

“Yeah,” he says with an airy giggle, the empty cassette in his hands. It catches you off guard to hear him so excited, and when you look up at him, you have to do a double take. 

He’s smiling. 

For the first time in the two months that you’ve been taking care of him, he’s genuinely smiling. 

“Who are you listening to?” You ask, leaning in to get a better look at the case. 

“Megadeth,” he says with a grizzly voice, nodding his head to a song in his mind. 

“Ooohhh cool,” you say with genuine fascination. “I’ve heard of them but I’ve not actually sat and listened to them.”

Eddie’s hair flies as he looks up at you with a quirked brow. “You’ve heard of them?”

You nod, “Yeah, I think the record store where I live has been playing them though. They’re putting a new album out or something.”

“Yes! This!” He says, shaking the cassette in his hands. “It came out two weeks ago. I didn’t think I was going to get a chance to hear it.”

  “And you better give Uncle Ben a nice thank you card for it. I wondered what he’d been picking up so much over time for.”

Eddie is quiet for a moment, looking down at his hands. “Yeah, I’ll, uh, do my best to do that.”

“So, Eddie, what other music do you like?” You ask, wanting to give him a distraction before he slips into a bad place. His ears perk up at your question and the look he gives you makes you feel like you’re going to be standing there with him for a while. 

And you did. Long enough that Wayne was able to take a shower and get his lunch ready for work. By the time he came in to let you know he was leaving, he figured he’d find you looking bored to death and shuffling awkwardly as his nephew droned on about his music knowledge. 

But, what he found instead was you sitting in Eddie’s chair, leaning into him intently as he animatedly speaks about whatever band he’s gotten started on. Wayne knows how Eddie can get once he gets started. But you don’t look bored at all like he probably has at times. 

In fact, Wayne would dare to say you have a bit of a sparkle in your eyes as you gaze up at his nephew. 

“Hey, kids, I’m heading out,” he calls into the room, grabbing both of your attentions instantly.

“What?” You ask, turning to look back at the clock on the dresser. “Oh my god, it’s been an hour and a half already? Eddie, you still need to eat dinner.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Wayne waves a hand, “I have a pizza on its way.”

“Wait, what?” Eddie looks at Wayne with a pinched brow. “You gave someone our address?”

“Boy, just trust me, okay? You know I wouldn't let just anybody bring a pizza to this house.”

Your mind instantly goes to Hopper. You’ve heard Wayne and Eddie talk about him before a handful of times but you’ve never actually seen him. He’s brought things to the house for Eddie before when you’ve not been there, leaving you very curious about him.

“Okay, if you say so.” Eddie says with a roll of his eyes. 

Right on que, a knock raps against the door with a rapid urgency. It makes you jump, something the younger Munson notices but doesn’t comment on.

“That must be the delivery boys,” Wayne says with a sly smile before leaving the room. Eddie looks at you with a quirked brow, wording ‘boys?’ at you with confusion. 

As you go to inspect what Wayne is up to, you hear the loud voices of boys as they begin to file into the house. The entryway fills with 6 or 7 bodies of all different ages and sizes, all of them wearing the same baseball style tee shirt with a red devil face on the front. 

“Hellfire…” you say to yourself, reading the shirts before letting out a gasp. Your feet carry you down the hall where you look amongst the group.

“Bring the pizza in here boys,” hear Wayne say from the kitchen, “Jeff and Grant, come n’help me get this table setup for ya.”

You watch as two of the older boys go into the kitchen followed by the one still carrying the pizza, leaving the younger ones to finish kicking off their shoes. One of them finally notices you and straightens before turning to grab the shirt of a taller boy behind him. 

“Oh shit, it’s you!” You recognize his voice. Mike Wheeler shoves another boy with curly hair next to him, who curses and turns to face you as well. He says your name like it’s a question, sussing you out before getting excited.

“In the flesh,” you say, gesturing towards yourself. 

“Hell yeah,” he says in his giggly voice. “We didn’t know if you were gonna be here or not.”

“I didn’t know you guys were gonna be here at all!”

“What really?” Mike says with a scrunched nose.

“That would be cause’a me.” Wayne leans through the threshold, that sly smile still on his face. “I didn’t tell ya in case ya told Ed. Sorry, hope this is alright. Dustin told me he’d been callin’ and that Eddie wouldn’t talk to em, so I figured he couldn’t ignore em if they was already here.”

Eddie’s bell rings from his room, and Eddie and Mike visibly perk up.

“Is that him?” Dustin asks excitedly.

“Yeah, he’s back in his room. Come on,” you say as you turn on your heel. Giddy with excitement, you couldn’t wait to see Eddie’s face when he got to see his friends. Them being here on top of getting his stereo system? It’s almost like it’s…his…

“Is today Eddie’s birthday?” You quickly stop to face the boys that had followed you down the hall, causing them to almost run into you. 

“What, no?” Dustin says confused, “His birthday’s not til May.”

You let out a sigh of relief. “Okay good. Sorry, he’s right in here—”

“Hey, what’s going on?” Eddie’s slightly strained voice called from the other side of the door. You could hear a tinge of panic in his tone, and it hit you that all he could hear was loud noise with no context while he’s stuck in his bed.

“Wait right—”

“EDDIEEEEEEEE!” Dustin shouts, stepping past you and pushing the bedroom door open. Mike follows behind and the quiet boy with him gives a soft sorry as he files in behind him.

“Wait, where’s that bastard at?!” The older boys come running out of the kitchen, pushing each other until they stumble into Eddie’s room as well. 

Eddie’s bed has a living wall around it, bodies blocking your ability to see his face. Before you can go in to check on him, Wayne calls for you from down the hall, a pizza crust in his hand. 

“Hey, he didn’t get his pain meds for the night yet. Figured he would be too tired and end up being grumpy by the time they got here, so I held off on it. Obviously if he needs em he can have him, but he seemed pretty distracted with his cassette to notice any pain.”

“That’s good to hear,” you say with a nod. “I’ll probably have him take them after they eat with his other meds.” You pause for a moment, putting a hand on Wayne’s arm. “If I had to take a guess, he’s probably going to be grumpy anyway, but…he’ll thank you for it eventually.” 

He gives you a nod before gathering his lunch and heading out for the night. A chorus of guffaws from down the hall had your interest piqued. But, as you made it to the doorway, you felt like your stomach was in your throat as you watched the boys trying to get Eddie into his wheelchair, one arm around the shoulders of two of his friends while another was holding onto his ankle.

“Woah, woah, pump the brakes there guys,” you say running to them. The boys all look at you collectively, then look to Eddie. 

“It’s okay, I’m fine!” Eddie laughs. His eyes were creased from how hard he was smiling and his laugh filled you with a fluffy feeling. 

“I can tell you’re fine, but I don’t want you to get hurt and have to send these guys home.” Just as quickly as they had tried to lift him, they sat him gently back down so he was sitting up on the edge of the bed. “Sorry to be the party pooper, but once he’s in the chair he’s free game.”

“So, are you gonna introduce us or what, dude?” One of the boys finally asks as you get Eddie situated to put in his chair. He lets out a sigh, avoiding your eyes, saying your name to the group of boys. “She’s my…caretaker.” There was a bit of hesitation in that last word, but you ignored it. 

He said your name again as if speaking to you this time, “This is the Hellfire Club. I guess you know Dustin, Mike, and Will already,” he says gesturing to the three younger boys who all wave and smile in their own way. “And these boneheads double as my old band members; Jeff, Grant, and Gareth.” The older guys nod and give their hellos, still giving Eddie a knowing look.

“It’s nice to meet you all. Finally.” Eddie gives you a deadpanned look before you lift him to pivot in his chair, making you almost fall into him as you do. He plops in his chair and unlocks it, and you step aside so that he can back away from the bed. 

“Oh, let me push you!”

“No, I wanna push him!”

You roll your eyes, and watch as the boys file out of Eddie’s room and into the hallway.

“Man, we really need to get you some decorations for your room,” the last boy calls as he looks around. That gives you an idea, and you grab the one named Gareth by the arm. He looks at you with wild eyes, standing nervously in front of you. “W-whats up?” He attempts to ask with a slight shake in his voice.

“What kind of things does he like?” You ask the nervous boy, looking him straight in the eye.

“W-what?”

“For his room. I want to get him some things but don’t know what to be looking for when I’m out.”

“Oh, um…He likes metal music. And he used to have a bunch of band shirts. Mostly Black Sabbath, Dio, Metallica…But he also likes Dungeons and Dragons. But I guess that’s obvious. Oh, and The Hobbit series.”

“Like Lord of the Rings?” You ask. 

He nods, “Yeah. He carried a copy of The Hobbit with him everywhere. It was practically falling apart, b-but he loved it.”

You shake your head, biting your lip as you think. “Thank you, Gareth,” you say, and he takes that as the OK for him to go, sprinting out the bedroom door.

“Oh, man, dude,” Dustin says from the table, mouth full of pizza “Wait until you see what Jeff’s got planned.”

“Yeah,” Will chimes in, “Jeff has been keeping us on our toes. We’ll definitely need your help to get through this session.”

“I don’t know,” Jeff says, loading his plate with pizza and cheesy bread, “what I have on the agenda for tonight might be the end for this group of folly.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Jeff. Just because I’ve been out of commission doesn’t mean that I don’t know all the tricks in the book.” Eddie says from his spot on the table. 

You maneuver around the boys as they get their plates and drinks. Someone had already gotten Eddie a plate and a cup full of a fizzy drink, which, thankfully, was way too dark to be one of the beers that you see sitting on the counter. It was in a regular solo cup though.

“Eddie,” you call from across the counter, and he looks up at you carefully. “Do you want a straw?” You ask, opening the counter above you. Looking out of the corner of your eyes, you see the boys have stopped talking, eyes looking everywhere except for Eddie as if trying to gauge his reaction but not make it obvious.

It takes him a moment to respond. “Um, yes, please.” He says quietly, hands in his lap as he leans in to look at the paper sitting in front of him. Grant sits on one side of him, leaning in and pointing out something about his character sheet which in turn breaks the silence among the table. 

When you round the table to bring his straw, you place it in his cup and he gives you a quiet thanks again. You nod, but can’t help to notice that he hasn’t eaten any of his pizza. 

Not wanting to draw too much attention to him again, you lean into his ear with a low voice. “Do you need me to cut up your pizza?” He doesn’t move at first, but subtly shakes his head enough for you to notice. You take your lip between your teeth and nod, backing away.

Once their game gets going, you grab your pizza and head into the living room, putting on your headphones and cracking open your textbook. You can’t help but look over at the table for every loud noise that they made, which was a lot, but you didn’t want to be too distracted in case Eddie needed you.

Things seemed like they were going well, until out of the corner of your eye you saw Grant jump up from his seat looking down between him and Eddie. The paper plate and Eddie’s pizza slice were both face down on the floor. You pulled your headphones off quickly, scrambling to your feet to clean the mess.

“Woah,” Grant says when you appear from behind him. “I can get it. It’s no biggie.”

Eddie’s face looked forlorn, still staring down at the place where Grant was wiping the red sauce with a paper towel. 

“Let me get you another slice,” Dustin said, rising from his seat.

“No,” Eddie said, voice almost panicked. “It’s fine, I don’t—I don’t need any.” 

“You barely even got to eat this piece,” Grant said with a questioning tone as he tossed the dirty piece away. 

“I’m getting you another piece.”

“Eddie.”

His panicked eyes met yours, and you could see the breakdown bubbling inside of him. His head was shaking, mouth opening and closing but the words weren’t coming out. Tears rolled down his cheeks. You’d never seen him get this upset before. 

You put a hand on either cheek and made him focus on you. “Eddie, it’s fine. No one here is upset with you. It’s just a slice of pizza. There’s, like, two more whole pizza’s over there. Dustin is going to get you another piece. Do you want me to cut it up for you? You should be able to pick up the smaller pieces.” He looks between your eyes before nodding finally. You give him a reassuring smile and take your hands from his face. 

“I’ll get you a refill, too,” you say, ignoring the tension in the room and continuing on like nothing happened. Dustin handed you the new plate when you walked by, trading it for the cup you had to refill. Grant took his place back next to Eddie and the table started to talk again. 

“Here you go,” Dustin says, reaching across the table to set Eddie’s drink back in front of him. “And here is an extra cup to roll your dice in.” You watch Eddie eye the cup before pinching it between his fingers. He gives a small thanks and the table moves on, becoming so engrossed in the game once again that no one even notices when you place the new plate on the table. Eddie mindlessly picks at the cut pieces as Jeff gives a speech about a cave having a hoard of something inside of it.

A hand waves in front of your face, pulling your attention from the textbook. When you look up, you see Dustin, Mike and Will peering over you. And out of the corner of your eye you see Jeff, Grant, and Gareth pushing Eddie’s chair down the hall.

“Hey, what’s going on?” You ask, pulling your headphones down and around your neck. 

“Bathroom break!” Gareth shouts.

“Do you need my help?” You call back.

“Nope!”

These boys are going to kill you.

“What are you studying for?” Will turns his head to try and see the contents of your book.

“Oh, this is my medical terminology book. I’m in nursing school.” The three boys give a collective ‘ooooohh’ that makes you laugh. “It’s pretty interesting, but I don’t think you guys would like it all that much.”

“Hey, we like science stuff,” Dustin says.

“Yeah, he goes to a science camp every summer.”

“To see my girlfriend!”

“Yeah that’s totally the only reason,” Will chimes in with a roll of his eyes.

“Wow, Dustin has a science camp girlfriend, huh?” You say teasingly.

“She’s not just my science camp girlfriend. I talk to her on my ham radio, too. She lives in a different state.”

“And she’s Mormon.”

“Yeah, her dad doesn’t like us talking so we have to be sneaky. Mike has a girlfriend, too.”

“Does she also live in another state where she can only be accessed via radio?”

“No, she lives with Will just a little bit away from here,” Mike says, jutting his thumb back at Will. You tilt your head at the boys, confused as to what they mean.

“How far is a little bit?” You ask.

“Like, I don’t know, five—ten minutes by car?” Mike says looking at Will and Dustin who nod in agreement. “El—I mean Jane’s dad is Chief Hopper. And he’s dating Will’s mom. They live in a house that they built out here.”

Every sentence was like whiplash. That would explain why Wayne asks the chief to come out here. It would be easier if he’s so close by to come and check on Eddie. But, obviously he has a family so he can’t be here all the time. 

“Back from the bathroom! No one died!” Gareth shouts as Grant and Jeff push Eddie back into the dining room. The three younger boys rush back into the dinning room as well taking their places at the table once again.

It was almost pitch black dark when you opened your eyes, the only light coming from the clock on the stove. You hadn’t meant to fall asleep. When did you fall asleep? And who put this blanket on you?

You could make out your textbook on the coffee table, and when you looked around, it seemed like the boys had cleaned up and put the table back against the wall. You jumped up from your seat suddenly, about to take off down the hall to check on Eddie when a voice from beside you made you scream.

“Jesus Christ!” Eddie shouted in reaction to your shriek. You pulled the lamp cord on the table next to you and the room was lit with a low light. Eddie’s form came into focus where he sat in the recliner, eyes squinting from the brightness.

“What the hell, Eddie!” You whisper shout. “Why are you out here and not in bed?”

“I…” he stuttered, “I didn’t know if you’d hear me if I needed you. So, I just had the guys put me here. That’s all.”

You blink at him, not awake enough to fully understand, but also not fully awake enough to argue. Rubbing the sleepies from your eyes, you look at him better. He looked like he had gotten a clean set of clothes on and even had his drinking cup next to him in the chair. 

“Guess they got you set up pretty good, huh?”

He nods, shimmying in the chair as he gets settled again.

“Eddie?” He looks over at you, puzzled. “Why were you so against seeing them? Or even just talking to them? They seemed really happy to see you.” Eddie turned away from you and was quiet for several moments. He took a deep breath in and sighed.

“I was…Some of them…Some of them haven’t…seen me since…since before…” His voice was shaky. You were about to tell him that he didn’t have to explain himself, but he kept going, voice leveling out a bit when he cleared it.

“Dustin, he was there. One of the ones who…found me. But the rest of them, they haven’t seen me since before break. Since before…everything happened. And none of them have seen me like this. I’ve changed so much that…I was worried they would see me and freak out. I don’t think I could have handled that.”

“Well, they certainly didn’t seem too bothered by any of your changes. They’re a good group of friends.” Eddie nods in agreement. “Did you guys have a good time?” A big, cheesy smile spreads across Eddie's face.

“Yeah, we did. Totally kicked Jeff’s monster hoard’s asses,” he said with a laugh.

“What time did everyone leave?” You ask, looking at the clock where it reads 3am. Thank god you switched shifts.

“Dustin, Mike, and Will all left around 10:30 or 11. Hopper came and picked them up. Guess they’re all staying at Mike’s.”

You let out an exasperated grunt, throwing your head back onto the couch.

“What was that?” Eddie laughs at your dramatics.

“I missed Hopper, again! I’ve been hearing about this guy but haven’t seen him yet!”

Eddie snorts, “You’re not really missing much. He’s just this really tall dude with a bunch of scars now from being imprisoned by the Russians.”

You look at him with shock. “He was what?”

Eddie shakes his head, “After they left, my other friends stayed until like one. We talked outside for a bit. They said they want to start coming here to do Hellfire meetings every other Friday, but I told them I’d have to ask you first.”

“Why do you have to ask me?” You look at him with a furrowed brow. “If you have to ask anyone it would be Wayne.”

“I know you like to study and stuff, and I don’t want them to be a distraction for you while they’re here. Or for you to have to worry about me or whatever.”

“Oh, well, that’s really thoughtful of you Eddie. But I’m okay. If I really need to study, I’ll just go sit in your room or something.”

He nods his head, a small smile tugging on his lips.

“Did you guys talk about anything else?”

Your words caught him off guard, you can tell by the blanched look on his face.

“Nope. Nothing. Nothing at all.”

“I thought it was pretty boring,” Sam said, taking a bite from the sundae he’d ordered for the two of you to split. You couldn’t decide what you wanted, so he ordered it as a way to get a little bit of everything. It was huge, and you were thankful that you didn’t have to eat it alone.

“I wouldn’t know considering you had my attention most of the movie,” you said, referring to all the stolen kisses and brief make out sessions that kept you pulled from paying attention to what you were watching. The movie was kind of boring, though, so you really couldn’t complain.

“That was my way of saving your sanity,” he says with a smirk.

“My hero,” you say with a roll of your eyes. 

“Oh, hey you got something—”

“Oh, what—”

“It’s right there,” he says pointing at your lip, “like a little hot fudge or something.”

“Did I get it?” You ask, licking your lips where he pointed.

“No, no. Here let me—” His hand cradles your face and he plants another kiss on your lips, making you squeal and giggle at his antics.

“Ha, ha, you’re so funny,” you say when you pull away. He looks at you with a sparkle in his eyes for a moment, before looking down with a bashful smile.

“Sorry, I just really like doing that.”

“What, being a dork?”

“No, kissing you,” he says seriously, “It’s nice. You’re nice.”

Heat hits your cheeks at his words. Sam has been nothing but a gentleman to you since you met. Sometimes he comes out to your car and will walk with you to your class, carrying your books for you the whole way. Other days you’ll bring him a coffee to his office when you’ve had time to stop in the mornings. 

He’s always asking questions about you, and he genuinely seems interested when you talk about yourself, not tuning out like some guys do when a girl talks about themselves. 

And when you ask questions about him he always seems to have an interesting answer. Whether it’s about his well off parents who have a summer home in Scottsdale or how he played varsity football for his high school, there was always a story within a story for him to tell you all the details about. 

You did have to admit though, that, yes, he was really nice and interesting, but maybe he really wasn’t your type? Tonya told you that it’s just your brain’s way of telling you that you can’t have anything nice. But, you just…can’t quite put a finger on it.

Still, it wasn’t enough to turn down a third date.

thank you for reading.

[thebiggerbear]

Jensen Ackles Characters Masterlist

Dean Winchester from Supernatural

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - You and Dean refuse to speak to one another after an argument and Sam has finally had enough.

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." - When Sam calls to tell you that Dean is gone, you can’t accept it. Not until you visit the offline Bunker and see for yourself. …But is he really gone?

Part 2 of "Sleep." (coming very soon)

Follow Me Into the Dark - Tragedy has struck in your life, quickly and without warning, leaving you completely devastated. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Dean Winchester rolls into town and he and his brother are starting to ask questions. Questions that you are not prepared to answer though you have a question of your own: just what the hell is Dean doing darkening your doorstep again?

when were you going to tell me - After finding out you concealed something from him on a hunt, Dean is not happy with you and he definitely does not appreciate your attempts at humor on the subject.

"You're safe now. I'm here."

Real or Not Real

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't."

Soldier Boy from The Boys

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - You’re pissed that he put himself at risk yet again.

"I took care of that asshole for you." "I don't like the sound of that." - When Ben mentions something to you in the middle of battle, your attempt at a little levity turns the conversation in a direction that probably would have been better kept off of Comms during a mission.

Part 2 of "I took care of that asshole for you." (coming very soon)

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." - You’re tired of running and you go to Soldier Boy for protection. He agrees to do it but not without a price.

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't." - Hughie and everyone don’t understand what you see in Soldier Boy but they also haven’t seen what you’ve seen: Ben.

"You're safe now. I'm here." - Soldier Boy has been on a ton of dangerous missions in his time, fought a lot of battles, but never did he imagine he would be undertaking the one you had just tasked him with. Shit.

Call My Name - Grace Mallory, the Boys, and the government have all warily agreed to your plan to take down Homelander. There’s just one more person to add to the operation, the very person who is necessary for any measure of the plan’s success. Can you convince him to join the team and help you defeat Homelander once and for all?

every king needs a queen - Homelander makes you an offer that you are all too happy to refuse

Keep Me Inside - When you took a job at Vought International to pay the bills, you never could have imagined just how much your life was about to change. Especially when you catch the eye of a certain Supe.

no one's the new me - Soldier Boy is the OG Supe. You goad him into proving it and get more than you bargained for…or did you?

Something Real - You had offered him the chance for something the two of you could build, something real, if he gave up the suit for good.

Thankful - It’s Father’s Day again and you have an extra special present for Ben this time around.

Where is she? - Soldier Boy only has one thought in mind when Homelander wakes him up: you.

sequel to Something Real (where SB gets his vengeance)

I've Been Waiting For You

Beau Arlen from Big Sky

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - He put you with Hoyt and Tonya. For the day. What the hell had he been thinking?

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." - Your house is broken into one night when Beau wasn’t home and now you find yourself expecting it to happen again at any moment. Will you ever feel safe in your home again?

A Twist of Fate (mini series coming very soon)

i need your hand but i don't want to burn it - You receive a phone call letting you know a family member has passed. The news rocks your world, especially when you find yourself flying back home for the services, returning to a place you’d rather forget. As your best friend, Beau is trying to be there for you but you’re determined to go it alone. But since you’ve known him, when has Beau Arlen ever not had your back?

if you love me (don't let go) (mini series coming very soon)

Only Ever Holding Onto You - When Beau Arlen called and asked you to join him at the Lewis & Clark County Sheriff’s Department, you knew you should have turned him down. Sure, he made a great case for your relocation, but it was the sound of his voice that had you putting in for an immediate transfer. After all, he was worried and needed you; how could you say no? Yet, the more time you spend in Big Sky Country, the more you wonder if you should have stayed in Houston.

The Ghosts Are Coming For You - When you moved to Montana, you figured you’d be in for a much quieter, more slow-paced lifestyle compared to the big city one you had left behind. Meeting Lewis and Clark County’s youngest sheriff while working a string of murders in your new position in Homicide turns out to be anything but — especially when things start to hit a little too close to home and remind you of things you thought you’d left buried long ago.

"You're safe now. I'm here."

"I never wanted to lose you like that."

Guide Me To You

You Are My Home

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't."

Alec McDowell from Dark Angel 2000

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - You’re looking for a way to set yourself up and blend in after breaking out of Manticore. Having heard the rumors, you seek out Max for help. In doing so, you come across someone you had never thought you’d see again.

Nothing But Killing Time - Manticore has recaptured you and this time, you’ve been assigned a breeding partner. From the moment you meet, it’s evident that neither you nor X5-494 have anything in mind other than a means of escape. Can you two come up with a plan together to break out and reclaim your freedom? Or will Manticore come between you and shatter the fragile trust you’ve built?

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe."

"You're safe now. I'm here."

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't."

Jason Teague from Smallville

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - When another student makes an unwanted move on you, Jason’s not above flexing his assistant coach authority muscle a little to get the guy to leave you alone and send a message.

Part 2 of "I hate you." (coming very soon)

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." - Jason has just helped you escape the clutches of his nefarious mother. Where will you go from here now that you know the truth?

Part 2 of "Sleep." (coming very soon)

"You're safe now. I'm here."

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't."

CJ Braxton from Dawson's Creek

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - You had only meant to call once, remaining anonymous while feeling out the whole helpline thing for yourself. Now, you talk to CJ every Friday night around the same time. When you don’t call one Friday, CJ is worried and comes looking for you which presents its own host of problems.

i won't let you go - When Jen breaks CJ’s heart, though you hadn’t planned on it, her loss quickly becomes your gain and so much more.

Something Like This - A Nor'easter hits Boston and luckily for you, you don’t have anywhere you need to be except right here, snuggled up with CJ.

Part 3 of "I hate you." & Something Like This (coming very soon)

"You're safe now. I'm here."

Don't Give Up On Me

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't."

Tom Hanniger from My Bloody Valentine 2009

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - You went to visit Tom in the mines for a little Valentine’s Day fun. Who knew that one decision would lead to everything that’s happened? Will you be able to help Tom or will he be lost to you forever?

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." - Tom has taken you hostage. This is not the Tom you knew and fell in love with. Unable to escape, can you get him to trust you and maybe even reach him?

"You're safe now. I'm here."

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't."

Jake Gray from Devour 2005

nothing to win and nothing left to lose

You're Mine

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe."

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that."

"You're safe now. I'm here."

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't." - When you go with Jake to visit his mom, you encounter a young woman who inexplicably sets you on edge and has you sticking that much closer to the boy who has your heart.

Boaz Priestly from Ten Inch Hero

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe."

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that."

"You're safe now. I'm here."

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't."

Russell Shaw from Tracker

Close Enough - When you’d met the Shaws at the morgue the day before, you thought that had been the end of it and you wouldn’t need to see one Shaw brother in particular again. Little did you know that Colter was about to once again ask for your help and not only would you be forced to see Russell again but things were about to change drastically for the both of you.

Closer - Now that Russell knows the truth about you, there isn’t anything he won’t do to try to get you out. Even if it means he might have to move up the timeline of his exit strategy earlier than planned.

Off Limits - When Reenie sends you to assist Colter with whatever he needs after getting arrested for breaking into a morgue in Virginia, you meet his older brother Russell for the first time. There’s some flirting and definitely a mutual attraction there before you Colter sends you off. Little do you know at the time that Colter has warned Russell that you’re off limits and that Russell has no intention of listening to said warning.

So Close - You meet Colter and Russell at the morgue to help them gain access. Had you known how this was really going to go, you might have pushed Colter’s call to voicemail.

"You're safe now. I'm here." Part 1 - You’ve been taken hostage and Russell is part of the unit sent in to retrieve you.

"You're safe now. I'm here." Part 2 (coming very soon)

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe."

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that."

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't."

Within Limits (sequel to Off Limits)

Michael!Dean from Supernatural

Let Me Set Your World on Fire - While on a hunt, you all get stuck in an abandoned cabin in the woods due to a snowstorm that comes out of nowhere. It’s cold as hell (Cas’ fact checking not withstanding) and both you and Dean are trying to fight off the icy temperatures. When Cas offers his coat to Dean, in usual Michael fashion, the archangel offers you something bigger and more to his liking than a simple article of clothing to keep you warm.

This Time The World Burns and You With It

"You're safe now. I'm here."

Demon!Dean from Supernatural

AU!Dean from Supernatural

Endverse!Dean from Supernatural

MOC!Dean from Supernatural

Dean Smith from Supernatural

Huntercorp!Dean from Supernatural

Purgatory!Dean

Ben | X5-493

Jensen Ackles RPF

Come Pick Up Your Ghosts - Jensen left a little…something behind on his last visit when he was in town. Something you are urgently asking him to come back and retrieve so you can know peace once more.

i want better for you...what's better for you than me? - Your heart is broken and you’re currently going through a divorce that didn’t have to happen. Will you give Jensen the chance to explain everything that came about from that one night in Rome when you weren’t there?

Trust Me

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't." - Jensen says something at a con that initially bothers you that prompts a conversation where you admit that there are certain parts of his job that you could easily do without, not sure how that’s going to impact your friendship moving forward.

Mark Meachum from Countdown

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx

dividers by @firefly-graphics

[rrickgrrimes8]

Skater

summary: crossing over a frozen lake shouldve been a simple task - not with a tonya harding fan

Joel Miller x platonic!reader -- gn!reader, except Joel calls reader babygirl

warnings: almost drowning, near death experience, angst, hurt/comfort, father figure! Joel, soft Joel

masterlist

request guidelines (new)

requests are open!

word count: 1.2k

Trailing behind Joel and Ellie, you hum an unfamiliar tune. You walked to the beat, hands flowing as the nameless song played through your mind. Joel shot you a look, rolling his eyes and told you to hurry up. 

You ignored him though and found yourself mesmerized by the snowy landscape. You had never seen this before – well you’d never seen anything before really. Growing up inside the QZ in a brainwashing school by FEDRA didn’t exactly allow you to see the world like you so desperately wanted to. It was as beautiful as you imagined. 

Yes, there was infected, clickers, raiders, bloaters but none of that mattered as you walked through the forest with your new family. You had lost another part of your family months prior - Henry and Sam - and your heart still ached for them. Ellie’s did too. Joel, on the other hand, was stoney and stoic as usual. 

The teen stared ahead at the frozen over lake, a frown on you face. “We’re going over this?” 

Joel grunted in response, stepping forward to show them it was okay. 

Ellie went next, holding out her hand for you. “We’re okay,” She assured, “C’mon.” 

You sucked in a harsh breath and nodded, taking your first of many steps. 

“Did you ever ice skate, Joel?” You asked, slipping as you did. 

Joel quirked a brow and glanced over his shoulder, “How do you know about ice skating?” 

“Books,” You shrugged, “Found a book on Tonya Harding.” 

“Christ, haven’t heard that name in a while,” He chuckled. 

“Who was she?” Ellie spoke up, confused. 

“Ice skater… amongst other things,” He told them. 

“So have you?” You repeated, eyes flickering to either side of the lake – where the sun was falling and the bright hue was getting lost behind the terrain. 

“I have,” He confessed, “Once or twice.” 

“Really?” You perked up, “What was it like?” 

“Slippy,” He remarked, trudging over the ice – halfway at this point. 

“Sick,” The teen muttered, “I woulda loved to, you know?” 

“Still time, kid,” He shot you an earnest look before grunting, “We should speed this up though, lights going.” The teens nodded, Ellie quickening so she was closer to Joel. 

You stayed slightly behind though, willing yourself to glide rather than walk on the ice. Joel said there was still time and there’s no time like the present, right? 

You let your right foot lead, stumbling on your first go but quickly catching yourself. You tried again, soon after, and slid for way longer. “Joel, Ellie look,” You exclaimed, ready to do it again. 

“Just walk, kid,” He rolled his eyes, not sparing you a glance. Ellie too continued to walk on, arms wrapping around her chest to warm her. 

Pouting slightly, you paused before forming a perfect idea – you just needed to catch up to them and then they’d see. You straightened your back, lifted your foot from the ground before heavily stomping it down and began to glide, faster than before. 

It was going well at first – maybe a little clumsy as you closed in on the oblivious pair. 

But then you heard a crack, and without even a second to call for Joel, you felt a rush of cold, painful water. 

Ellie sighed as they neared the ¾ mark, turning to speak to her friend – breath catching in her throat when she heard the same crack. She snapped her gaze to you but felt an overwhelming fear grip her when she realized all there that was left was an empty space and a gaping hole in the ice. 

Having not heard, Joel continued, only stopping when he heard Ellie screaming your name. Wasting no time, he span to face them but was only met with Ellie, who was sprinting over to a hole in the ice. “No,” He shuddered, realization hitting him. 

Joel ran faster than he thought he was capable in that moment. His breathing was heavy in his chest, ears ringing – missing the panicked yells from Ellie – and collapsed beside the hole. He called your name, shakily and frantically – hand plunging into the freezing water, struggling to grab you. Joel felt a strange sensation overwhelm his chest – a fear he hadn’t felt since he lost Sarah. 

Forcing back some tears, he dived into the abyss – Ellie screaming as he did. He had forgotten how hard it was to open your eyes underwater but he ignored the burning and searched for a glimpse of you. And it didn’t take long. You were there – still, unmoving, corpselike. He almost let out a sob as he saw you – pushing against the liquid and pulling you into his arms. 

Joel got the pair of you out the water quickly, lying you against the ice as Ellie watched in fear, tears welling up. Looking at you then, Joel felt as if he was too late and maybe he was – he eyed your chest, motionless. It didn’t rise or fall, and your eyes didn’t open. 

The world seemed to vanish for a moment for Joel. His vision blurred and his body moved on autopilot. Hands finding your chest, he began to beat down on it – recalling briefly some first aid training he received 30 years ago. You didn’t move as he continued the chest compressions. 

“C’mon, baby,” He cried for what felt like the first time in 20 years (it probably was), “Come back to me. Come back, babygirl.” 

You looked dead, Ellie thought as she observed Joel’s attempts at saving you. She thought it was almost futile, that Joel couldn’t do a damn thing now and that terrified her. 

Lips finding yours, he forced a breath into your lungs, causing you to begin to splutter. Joel delicately, moved you onto your side as you continued to cough up the murky water. He let himself exhale as he helped you – you were here, you were alive, you were breathing. 

“Oh baby,” He called out to you, pulling you close to his chest. You seemed at once surprised by his actions before sinking into it soon after. The heat from his body radiated, quelling the shivers that didn’t seem to die down. “You’re okay,” He croakily voiced, more to himself than them, “Oh, babygirl, you’re okay.” You nodded against his chest. 

Ellie called out your name, tearfully and joined the pair of them, hand holding yours. “I thought you were dead, asshole,” She laughed but it seemed hollow – the comment far to genuine. 

“I-I wanted to skate,” You told them, “I w-was doing i-it.” 

“And you can’t do that again okay,” Joel scolded, “Damn near gave me a heart attack… no, you can’t do that to me- to us again.” 

“O-okay,” You shook, eyes closing as you snuggled into his chest. 

“Hey, b-baby,” He tapped your cheek, “You stay awake… keep your eyes on me.” 

You frown, groaning as your eyes felt so heavy, “S-so tired.” 

“Not yet, okay, baby?” Joel stressed, getting up – Ellie following with their bags on her shoulders, “We gotta get you warm first, okay?” 

“O-okay,” You mumbled, voice dazed and confused, “T-Thanks for s-saving me d-dad.” 

He inhaled sharply, more tears falling but he couldn’t bring himself to respond – the lump forming in his throat. All that mattered was getting you better. 

All that mattered was your life.

[sluttyenthusiast]

You and Tashi are the Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding of tennis.

Tashi Duncan is the poster child of tennis, the good girl, the people's princess.

You are the bad and the evil, leeching off of Tashi's success as others would say.

But you're both close, you were each other's first kiss (out of curiosity ofc), and you'd often share rooms at the hotels when you're both in town for the same tournament.

You watched as Tashi would talk to her adoring fans, you never let your smile drop, even when people would boo at the announcement of your name, yelling horrible things to you when it was your serve. She would smile at you, mouthing to shake it off, and you would smile back. Something sort of soft and unspoken between you both. You guys had a friendship that if people looked close enough, they'd suspect a relationship, but people never paid mind to you when it came to Tashi.

When the time comes for college you and Tashi both separate, going to different colleges, often facing each other in matches.

Tashi was playing against you in the match she blew her knee out, you watched, in fear, shock, terror, you don't know, but you remember your blood going cold as you watched your best friends tennis career presumably end.

That was the last time Tashi had ever really saw you. People came up with rumors every day, claiming that you watched in glee while your opponents career ended, others going as far to say that you played a part in the career ending injury.

You lost your scholarship, and you were to withdraw from all tennis related activities, according to the USTA. They claimed they didn't need the controversy and negativity surrounding tennis.

Without tennis you were nothing, you could no longer go to school, and while your manager tried to book you upcoming gigs to get your name back out there, they didn't want you.

Tashi was an upcoming star as she coached her husband through victories, climbing up in ranks again, while you had practically dropped off the face of the earth.

What people didn't know is that as soon as Tashi left to go to the hospital after the match, you took off after her, staying with her until she was discharged, sleeping in the uncomfortable hospital chairs.

If people had gotten to know you for more than two seconds, they would know that you are the kindest person, always wishing the best for everyone.

Tashi wish she could go back in time, and speak out against what the people were saying about you, she had wished none of this slander on you.

People claimed you celebrated when her career ended, excited to get an up in the world of tennis, overcoming your biggest opponent.

Tashi knew that wasn't true, you had cried just as much as her, you had never left her side, until she eventually shoved you off, angry that you still have tennis to turn to.

After that moment, you realized you had nothing left, you didn't matter anymore.

[didalexiabreakupwitholgayet]

I had never heard of the hamraoui case before, that’s such a sad case 😭 also she gets targeted/beat/attacked and basically the entire team/PSG sides with Diallo??

hi anons! looks there are some new fans likewise who are not aware of the "tonya harding" incident of women's football and the dumpster fire that continues to be psg feminines.

some basics: kheira hamraoui is a french midfielder who played for barça from 2018-2021, during the club's period of explosive growth. and she was a fun personality and part of barça's first champions' league winning team of 2021. here's an article about her good adaptation and contributions to barça. in 2021, she returned to france to play for psg.

so on 4 november 2021, hamraoui and her teammate aminata diallo were stopped in a car by two masked men. hamraoui was dragged from the car and hit with iron bars, with the assailants alleging commenting that she was having an "affair with a married man." well turns out her teammate diallo was arrested by police but released. and then diallo was re-arrested in september 2022 on "charges of serious bodily harm" and the several others arrested with her claimed they were acting on diallo's orders.

yeah, it's pretty insane. and what's worse is that there has been no resolution/conclusion and the courts are still supposedly investigating (diallo is currently playing in saudi arabia). but psg essentially froze kheira out and it looks like she didn't get any support from either the team or her teammates. kheira wrote about this in her memoir and has said in interviews:

"the squad no longer speaks to me, and psg has only one objective: that I leave as quickly as possible. they treat me like a plague victim.”

here's a pic of katoto and diani below honouring diallo after scoring.

in recent years. lyon has a habit of poaching players from psg too, so i'm sure that doesn't help things. and we had grace geyoro beefing with her former teammate, diani, at the champions league semi last week, and supposedly some unfollows off social media occurred.

anyway, that's psg in summary. doesn't help that they also have had players with big egos like lieke martens and ramona bachmann (until recently), and there's the latest with transphobic and homophobic korbin albert.

[trevorfrankmichael]

Do my eyes betray me?? The man who is NOT a cartoon is gonna be there?? If any of y’all are in Phoenix..

[yautjalover]

Sometimes I think about a Yautja raised by humans meeting another Yautja for the first time.

Like let's say in the 1950s a 20 year old couple found a baby Yautja and decided to raise them. Cause idk they're childless farmers in the middle of nowhere. I once saw somewhere it takes like 67 years for a Yautja to reach adulthood (I may be wrong).

So the year is 2024 and our farmer couple is in their 90s when their now adult alien child meets an injured yautja hunter.

(Also the human raised yautja would probably have human values and beliefs along with wearing human clothes. Plus we all know they'd have the most basic human name like Bobby, Tomas, Elijah, Judy, Martha, Tonya etc.)

The the sadness Yautja Judy would feel along with the misunderstandings that would happen when she meets another of her kind would be funny. Especially when they talk and both realize neither speaks eachothers language.

Judy isn't surprised cause she knows she's an alien and of course her race has its own language. (She is sad though cause they can't communicate) Meanwhile normal yautja (let's call him hunter) is confused and a little terrified cause why is she wearing ooman clothes and speaking perfect English.

Judy would definitely give Hunter uncanny valley like what do you mean you were raised on earth and think hunting oomans is wrong?! What do you mean eating raw meat is nasty, and the predator dogs are ugly?!

It's even worse when Hunter sees her now elderly foster parents and the farm. Cause why would you keep perfectly good prey locked up behind fences? There's no fun in hunting already trapped prey?! Also why are you letting that ooman TOUCH your dreads!?!?!? WTF is braiding?!?!?

Hunters like:

So after Hunter is all healed up he leaves without saying goodbye. Judy is left to believe she'll never see another Yautja again. (Not like she cares dude was always staring at her and hissing at her parents.)

Hunter actually went back to the clanship to get a better translator and told everyone about Judy. No one believes him though....Till he shows his mask recording and everyone's like:

Now everyone is trying to figure out whose Judy's real parents and how to deal with the situation.

Meanwhile weeks later Judy's living her best life never realizing that her real parents just entered earths orbit. And they want her back cause she's literally their ONLY child.

Also this is Judy's childhood always getting jumped on by the family cat. And wearing like 10 layers in fall and winter cause her human parents thought she'd freeze to death.

Ya know this is quite great, because I have a WIP fanfic about this exact scenario. It’s called Kira, that being the human-raised Yautja’s name. Her real name is K1RA, but eventually she was just called Kira.

She’s raised by a secretive arm of the US military and trained to be their defense when a predator visits Earth again. Their own Predator on their side. They of course have her participate in secretive missions for the military.

It’s got a meddlesome goddess, a grumpy Yautja raised by his own people, an adult coming of age and finding one’s place in the world, and finding love in all of that. Despite my life being hectic lately, I’m still working on the eighth chapter. ☺️

You should write that down as a fic! We need more unique Yautja like this. I’d definitely give it a read. 😁 There are so many opportunities for humor and awkward scenarios!

Link to my fic on Ao3 here.

You can also find it on WattPad here.

[webslingingslasher]

Tells Me We're Not Done

Part 2 to Something in the Orange.

this is so long tumblr is making me put it in two parts, adding part 3 after this!

Genre: Angst/Fluffy

Warnings: depictions of sex, stay safe, kiddos!

Word Count: 15k between here and part 3

Summary: Peter does his best to win you back after he dumps you.

The Parker household could be eerily quiet. 

Funny how you never noticed it before, usually the giggles escaping your mouth as Peter pinched lightly anywhere he could reach would fill the empty spaces. Or you could hear the whisper of Mays TV in her room, maybe even Peter as he danced around in the kitchen making grilled cheeses or grabbing you stashed soda. 

But right now in Peter’s room all you hear is the hum of the AC, and the drips coming from his bathroom sink, he needs to turn it off all the way. You hear the slow whoosh of cars passing by several floors down, you hear Peter’s fingers tapping on the kitchen counter, you can’t help but wonder if it’s because he’s looking for something or he’s trying to think of something to say, anything to break the silence. 

You hadn’t looked at Peter since you got here, you didn’t even speak to him. 

“Hey! I’m glad you could still find the place.” He tried to joke. Tried. 

You nodded your head and swerved around him into his room, you set your bag higher on your shoulders, and then you felt very aware of your surroundings. It’s been a while since you’ve been in his room, it was almost comedic, this was always where you felt the most safe but you have never been more on edge than right now. 

Where did you sit? 

On his bed? Too many memories, the way he fit over your body perfectly. The bed where he made you feel loved and protected and safe and treasured? No, you can’t sit there. 

At his desk? The same one you would sit across his lap on, the one that you had begged a time or two to get off his game so he could get on you? The same desk he’s bent you over? No, you can’t sit there. 

Peter watches you move your head around his space before your shoulders slump with defeat and you throw your backpack off and drop to the floor sitting crisscross. 

The floor was safe, nothing happened on the floor. 

“Want anything to eat? Something to drink?” 

The carefulness in his voice, the comforting gesture made the hair on your neck raise, you didn’t say a word. 

You didn’t want to be here, that was well known. 

Peter sighed and made himself absent, it didn’t feel good to him either. Knowing that this is your worst nightmare and you were currently experiencing it made him feel pretty shitty, it doesn’t help that you won’t give him anything to work with either. 

You stared at the carpet long enough to see swirls and shapes, tracing with your hands. Your brain made a pattern with the sink drips, pause, pause, pause, drip. Pause, pause, pause, drip. It began moving in sync with Peter’s finger tapping in the kitchen, pause, pause, pause, drip, tap. Pause, pause, pause, drip, tap. 

What deity did you piss off to put you in this position? 

The words echo as your hand pushes the carpet one way, darker, the other way, lighter. 

“Y/N and Peter. Y/N and Peter. Y/N and Peter.” 

It happened Wednesday, and now it was Saturday. 

“I have some news. We are breaking down points in history and colliding them with story acts. You have all been assigned a partner and will have two weeks to complete it. We finish next Wednesday, but you’ll be getting your partners today and you can start working on it now. Get an idea, I’ll be passing out sheets with different points in history you can pull from.” 

She rolled her eyes when the class groaned, “Yeah, yeah. If you want to let the creativity flow feel free to pull a moment on your own. I’m letting you guys take the rein on this, have fun! Express yourselves!” 

You blew a heavy breath, you haven’t paid attention in months and now you were being thrown into a massive assignment. Mrs. Bender approached the front of the room and grabbed a stack of papers. “Y/N, Tonya, please pass these out to your classmates.” 

The stack was split and she handed you each one and you both went to separate sides of the room. You started in front and worked towards the back, the fourth table was MJ and Peter. You gave one to MJ and met her eyes, “Hi.” She smiled back, “Hey.” 

You let one fall to the middle of the desk, the paper sweeping the air before sliding across the slick black table and falling to the ground. You shrugged at the paper on the floor and shrugged, “Oops.” You stepped on the front of the page and made your way to the table behind them. 

Peter watched MJ smirk, he turned his gaze to the ground and picked up his paper stamped with your shoe print. 

“These will be your partners, no exchanges or substitutions allowed. Tonya and Brent. MJ and Kate. Yousif and Rusty. Drea and Drake. Cory and Becca. Y/N and Peter.” 

Your eyes shot up to the room, your heart was racing. This couldn’t be happening, not him. Not your ex, you literally begged him to hook up and he left. You told him everything was a front, that you still lo- No. Don’t think about that. 

This was a nightmare. Your cheeks burst with heat, your heart hit your rib cage with each thump, your palms become sweaty on the tabletop. You had to keep swallowing the saliva building in your mouth, scared that you’d puke if you stopped. 

The teacher just kept going like she didn’t end your world. 

“Dustin and Vanessa. Forrest an-“ You cut her off and shoved a hand in the air before speaking. 

“No! No, No, Absolutely not!” Peter’s head shot to yours. The other students were already moving around matching up with their partners. 

“What was that?” The teacher stopped her rambles. 

“Please. Anyone else, I’ll do anything. I’ll clean your car, I’ll do Saturday school until the end of year! I’ll even stay late and grade your last classes work! Please, anything!” You pleaded. 

“No exceptions, it’s not fair to everyone else.” She shrugged her shoulders and tried to continue. 

“What if I work alone?” You stood at your desk. 

“No.” She flipped her grade book. 

You huffed and swore under your breath. 

“Fine! I won’t do it then!” You threatened no one but yourself. 

“Ms. Y/N do I need to remind you of your circumstance? You don’t do this project, you’re out of here. Permanently.” She raised an eyebrow and taunted you, she wanted to see how you would react. 

You threw your hands up and slumped back on your seat. “Yeah! I know! I know!” 

Even being paired with Peter wouldn’t make you talk to him, and bless his heart for trying. He’s tried cornering you in school, he’s tried calling (and was ignored immediately), he even showed up at your window but all he received was an unwavering middle finger until he slowly crept away. 

His last ditch was a text, ‘Hey. I know you don’t want to talk to me, but we need to get this done. Come to mine tonight?’ 

He wasn’t expecting a response, and you didn’t give one. You just showed up. 

“Water?” 

He held out a bottle and you sniffed, dragging your knee to your chin you turned the other way. Peter placed it next to you anyways. 

“You sure you don’t wanna sit up here?” Peter tapped the space next to him on the bed. 

“I’m fine where I am.” The first words you spoke to him all week and they were just as distant and cold as when you told him you hated him. He never really believed that, but now he was. 

“I can pull my desk chair over, or I can get one from the kitchen-” 

“I said I’m fine.” You cut him off and listened to the empty space, you relied on the drips like a metronome. Then the hum of the AC, and new to the mix was Peter breathing. It wasn’t loud but it was steady, something to build off of. If you tried really, really hard maybe you could hear the blood pumping in and out of his heart. 

“What do you smell right now?” The carpet was leaving an almost itchy feeling on your fingertip but you kept swirling it, scared if you stopped they would shake. 

“Uh, I don’t know. I can smell your perfume, and I think Mr. Denison next door is making cookies or banana bread.” Confused. He was confused. 

“Not like that. Me.” 

Peter’s eyes widened.  It was very rare for you to ask him to use his senses on you, it’s not like he had a choice, it would happen regardless. But he respected that you didn’t want to know, or didn’t care to, so unless you asked he never brought it up. 

He breathed out slowly and took an inhale at the same rate, he looked at you and frowned slightly. You wouldn’t look at him still, you were turned from him and curled inwards trying to get as far away from him as possible. 

“Scared. Nervous. Anxious. Upset. Sad. Hurt.” 

You let out a small laugh. 

“Was that Spidey, or was that your intuition?” 

“A little of both.” 

Drip, pause, pause, pause, drip. 

“I’m sorry, by the way. I don’t think I ever told you that, but I am.” 

You looked at him for the first time in a week, you actually recognized him as a human. 

“For what?” 

“Hurting you. Breaking up with you, making you hate me. Fuck, I don’t know, Y/N. Can I just give you an umbrella apology?” 

You nodded at him. 

Drip. 

“How would we move past this?” 

“What do you mean?” Peter can’t help his spirits get slightly lifted at that. 

“I don’t know how to look at you and not be overwhelmed with sadness, Peter. You were my entire fucking life and it was smashed in one night. And I know you’re trying to fix it, and I really want you to. I want to go back like nothing ever happened but it did. It did happen, and you really, really hurt me. So how do we get past this?” 

“How can I give you that kind of power again?” You added with a whisper, you laid a cheek on your knee and closed your eyes. 

Drip. Pause, pause, pause. Drip. 

Peter breathes once, twice, three times, drip. Peter rubs his pant leg against the bed, the comforter ruffles, he breathes, drip, drip, drip. 

You can’t stand it anymore, now you understand why Chinese water torture is mind exploding. 

“I don’t know, but it’s not up to me anymore.” Peter’s turn to keep his sight from you. 

“What does that mean?” You nearly wince at your voice. Why did you sound so sad? 

Peter looks you in the eye, it wasn’t his decision anymore. That much was clear. 

“I hurt you, I broke your trust. I did the worst thing to you I could’ve ever done. It’s up to you now, what do you want? Do you want to be friends, never speak to me again, or maybe somewhere in the middle?” 

You chew your bottom lip and look his face over. 

Drip. 

You think of each time you’ve kissed his cheeks, each time you’ve counted his freckles while he’s slept, each time you traced over his features, every moment of him being yours came in a flash. 

Drip. 

More than anything in the world, you missed loving him like you could lose him. There was nothing so delicate and private in the world. 

Drip. 

“I know what I want.” The words were a whisper, scared to say them aloud, scared to whisper them into admission. 

“Tell me.” His tone matched yours, he was just as scared to hear it as you were to say it. 

Drip. 

“I want you to win me back.” 

You can’t remember the last time you’ve seen Peter smile like that, not since he was yours. 

His teeth sunk into his bottom lip failing to catch the growing grin. 

“I can do that.” He nods. 

 “I can do that.” 

—-------------------

Flowers everyday. 

That’s how it started. 

On Monday they were purple Hyacinths, left outside your front door with a small handwritten note: Sorrow, please forgive me. 

You’re reminded of every time Peter’s tried to get your attention with a wave or a smile or even tried to offer an olive branch by walking you home. 

Tuesday they were red Tulips with a similar note attached: Believe me, my feelings are true. 

You know he’s sorry, he’s made that much clear. 

Wednesday they were Violets: I’ll always be there.

Even when you haven’t wanted him. 

Before the presentation in class Hydrangeas were left in your locker: Good luck and fortune.

Thursday were mixed Zinnias: Thinking in memory of an absent friend and lasting affection.

He’s missed you just as much as you’ve missed him. 

Friday was a Gladioli: Give me a break, I am really sincere.

He’s asking you to trust him one more time. 

Saturday morning there were several flowers and notes outside of your window. 

A Coreopsis: Always cheerful.

You’ve made him so happy.

A Lily of the Valley: A return to happiness, you’ve made my life complete. 

You give him something to look forward to.

A Dandelion: Faithfulness and happiness.

Something he can rely on. 

A Lavender stem: Admiration. 

He doesn’t know how someone could be so perfect.

A red Carnation: My heart aches for you. 

He hasn’t ever known pain that ebbs so deep into him.

A Sweet-Pea: Thank you for a lovely time. 

You gave him a true meaning in life, not Spider-Man, Peter. You gave Peter a meaning.

A Forget-Me-Not: True love and memories. 

It really was true love, there was nothing more pure about it.

A Narcissus: Stay as sweet as you are. 

He can only hope he hasn’t damaged that.

A Petunia: Your presence soothes me. 

You have a presence that calms him, it’s a talent only you and Aunt May possess. 

A Camellia: I’m longing for you. 

He’s thought of you everyday since he ended it. 

A Daffodil: You’re the only one, the sun is only shining when I’m with you. 

Everything's better when you’re around.

Finally a Primrose: I can’t live without you. 

Because he really can’t.

On Sunday you caught him in the act. 

Dressed in dark tan khakis, a blue plaid button down and a dark gray jacket. His Nike shoes matched the hints of dark blues in his shirt, his hair looked extra fluffy today. You always begged him to grow it longer, sometimes he would appease you and wait an extra week or two before he chopped it but the past month he’s let it grow, long curls framed his face and all you wanted to do was tangle them around your fingers. 

“Careful, another bouquet and I’ll have to start my own nursery.” You chided him and grinned when his cheeks flushed briefly after he slightly jumped unaware of your lurking presence. 

“Were you waiting for me?” His hand was behind his back, you were eager to see the flower of the day. 

“Maybe. It’s impressive how you’ve dropped them all week without me seeing you. Are you using your stealth secrets on me?” 

“I could be, It’s better to see your reaction when I’m not in front of you. It seems more authentic.” 

“Oh, when you’re not in front of me? Does that mean you’re lurking around watching me like some kind of stalker?” You grinned at his caught look, he didn’t mean to let that slip, but he was going to lean into it. 

“I just want to make sure you get them, I don’t want some sorry guy coming by stealing my tactics.” 

“Have you watched me before? Cause I swear I’ve got the feeling someone is just out of sight on a roof I can’t see.” You hinted at his alter ego and watched him nonchalantly shrug. 

“Sometimes. Mostly at night when you were alone, I used to walk you home, you know. What if some guy from Ryker's got out and thought you were an ex that locked them up and you got stabbed to death?” 

Your eyes widened. “Is that the stuff you worried about when we broke up?” 

We. No, ‘when you’, it was we. 

“Like a mantra.” 

A frown crossed your face. “Here I was worried you weren’t going to know how to put your own band-aids on, nice to know you are still obsessed over me.” 

“Always have, always will.” He smiled and remembered why he was here. 

“I have something for you.” 

You grinned and made grabby hands, “Lemme see it!” 

“It’s not a flower.” 

You pouted and booed. 

“Let me give you mine first then.” 

Peter’s eyebrows raised, “You have something for me?” 

“Yeah, hold on.” You dipped back into your room for a moment and emerged with a small pot, three short green stalks were bunched together. You held it out for him to grab, one hand was kept behind his back. 

He looked at you and waited for the explanation. 

“It’s a lucky bamboo. It symbolizes growth and renewal, something for a new life stage. I thought it was fitting.” 

He hugged it tight to his chest, “Thank you. I love it, I am gonna nurture the fuck out of this. His name is gonna be Groot, thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

You both just smiled at each other for a moment too long, almost forgetting why you were both here. You think Peter lent in for a second before jumping slightly, he remembered why he came. 

“Here’s yours.” 

Peter passed you a folded up paper, you looked confused but grabbed it from him. You looked up to catch him grinning at his branches and he whispered something to the green before nodding at you to unfold the paper. 

Inside were two printed tickets to the Planetarium, you gasped and dropped your jaw. You looked towards him and he was already smiling at your reaction. 

“Oh my god, Peter!” 

You rushed forward with a squeal and crushed him in a hug, both of your arms wrapped around his, he let out a ‘oof’ and pulled one arm from under yours to wrap it around you. You pushed forward just a little closer, resting your cheek against his chest, he felt warm and sturdy. No matter how much time passed you missed this the most, just feeling him, and feeling like nothing could harm you. 

“Did I do good?” His words felt like vibrations in your cheek. 

“Amazing!” You grinned up at him and pushed yourself to your tiptoes to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth. 

He paused for a second, shock in his system. You kissed him. Well, not a full on kiss, but it was a hint of one. 

“Well then, would you like to go on a date with me?” 

You smiled so wide you bit your bottom lip trying to rein it in. 

“I would love to.” 

-------------------------------------------------

A date it was. 

Peter pulled out all the stops, he took you to a nice dinner, one where they had a candle on the table and ketchup wasn’t available. He even looked over the menu beforehand and let you know what he thinks you would like, not that you can’t make your own choices but new restaurants always give you a little anxiety. You were unsure what you would like and felt like you were wasting time looking over the menu rereading the same summaries hoping one would jump out at you. 

Then after dinner he gave you his jacket, walking down the street you were confused when he didn’t call for a taxi but followed him anyway. You looked down at his hand next to yours and grabbed it, then he intertwined them and pulled you to the side of a building. You looked up at the sign and then him. 

“Chocolatier?” 

He pulled an eyebrow up, “You didn’t think I forgot about dessert did you? 

“I’m getting two slices of cake.” You moved to pull him inside, he followed behind and you both paused at the door inhaling the sweet scent blowing in your faces. 

“As long as I can get a bite.” 

“We’ll see.” 

After dessert he took you to the planetarium and you gazed up in awe at the constellations. The seats were recliners and lent all the way back so you had undivided attention at the ceiling. 

“Which one is that?” You pointed up at a stack of stars, they almost made the shape of a person. Peter followed your finger up, “That one?” He pointed at the same star, you nod. 

“Andromeda. A Greek princess.” 

“Ooh. Wait, where is the big bear and little bear?” You moved your head but couldn’t place it, those were your favorites. 

Peter grabbed your hand and pointed up at them, he traced the stars with your finger, “Big bear,” then lowered your hand, moved it slightly and traced again, “Little bear.” A soft smile crossed your face, you always thought of those as you and Peter, you followed him around mimicking his antidotes and sidekicking every bit of the way. 

You moved in closer to Peter and turned halfway to rest your head on his shoulder, looking up at him from your eyes you shuffled in deeper. 

“Tell me all about the ones you know.” 

And he did, he took you through each one slowly, sometimes picking your hand up to point at them and trace the lines so you knew exactly what he was talking about. Peter spoke quietly and calmly, you were the only ones in the room but it still felt extremely private, this was a moment for you and him only. 

“This one is Apus, the bird of paradise. This one is supposed to be the beak, and this one is the tail. And this one is Ara, it’s an altar that was used by Gods before battle with the Titans to vow their allegiance.” He traced the outline and you stared in awe. 

“And this one here is Aquila,” 

“It looks like an eagle.” 

“It is! Look at you, smartie.” 

“He was the retriever of Zeus’s thunderbolts.” 

“Oh! And look at this one here, this one is really cool. It’s Antlia, and it’s my favorite because it literally translates to-” 

You stopped him with a kiss. 

It was slow, you moved against each other for a minute or two. You weren’t all over each other, it wasn’t full of passion and heat. It was a kiss that meant more than that, it was trust, it was giving, it was kind. It was love, you both felt it. 

“Air pump. It translates to air pump.” 

His first words when you broke away, his eyes blinked open slowly and he looked towards you. You couldn’t help yourself and lent in for one more, it was shorter. Just a little longer than a peck. 

“What was that for?” Peter was breathless, he wasn’t expecting that. He wasn’t expecting anything like that for a while. 

“Because I think you’re lovely.” 

“That's funny, because I think you’re lovelier.” 

You frowned for a moment, you didn’t feel lovely. 

The past week you’ve done a lot of reflecting. You hadn’t been kind, or nice, or patient with Peter like he’s been with you. Instead you’ve been bitter, mean, and miserable. It wasn’t right, if you love someone you don’t treat them like that. 

“I’m not. Or at least I haven’t been. And, I’m sorry too, by the way.” 

“Sorry for what?” 

“Being the worst. I was so caught up in being hurt and mad at you I forgot you were hurting too. I think I forgot that even though you might have ended it, it hurt you too. And I’m sure I made it worse for you because I took all my hurt and anger out on you, I never should’ve said all those things. I should’ve never said I hate you, that was low and dirty of me. I don’t hate you, at all. I don’t think I ever could, actually. I just wanted to make you hurt like I did, but it made me feel worse because you didn’t deserve that. So, I’m sorry.” 

You blinked back tears, it was a good night so far and you didn’t want to ruin it with waterworks. 

“Oh, baby. C’mere.” Peter held you into him and kissed the top of your head. 

“It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it, and it sucked but I get why you did it. You just wanted to make it even, doesn’t make it right but you needed to work through it. Just promise me you’ll never say it again, I don’t know if I can handle that again.” He pinched at your side and smiled when he made you giggle. 

“Deal.” You kissed his cheek and breathed in his neck, you missed his smell. 

“I missed you calling me that.” Your words were muffled, a vulnerable admission. 

“What, baby?” You nodded in his neck. 

“I can start doing it again, it’s yours anyways.” 

“I’d like that, Petey.” You smile pulling away.

Peter slapped a hand over his chest. “Be still, my heart.” 

“I thought you hated that nickname?” 

“I did. Until I didn’t hear it for four months.” 

You giggled and looked at the stars once more. It was a perfect night, but you couldn’t help but think about how many nights like this you’ve missed out on since things ended. 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

Peter picked your hand up and kissed the back of it. 

“Anything.” 

“Why did you end it?” 

Lips froze on your hand. It was obvious he wasn’t expecting that. 

“Baby, listen to me. Tonight was a good night, right?” 

You nodded. “The best.” 

“I don’t want to ruin tonight, and I’m not saying you are. I would be. We’ll talk about it, I promise. But I don’t want to tonight, is that okay?” 

“You would ruin the night?” 

“It’s hard for me to talk about it. No one knows the full story, and you’ll be the only one who gets it. I just don’t want to open that door tonight. Is that okay?” 

You wanted to ask why it was hard for him to talk about it, and why he never told anyone the real reason, but that would defeat the purpose of him not wanting to talk about it. 

“That’s okay. We’ve got nothing but time.” 

Peter looked at you for a second soaking your words in. 

“You sure?” 

You kissed him once more, a promise. 

“Positive. Now tell me which one that is.”

—————————————————

The next two weeks went by slowly, you never did get that reasoning. It wasn't an omission on Peter’s part but you’ve both been busy doing other things and it hasn’t really crossed your mind, and the times it did it didn’t feel like the right time to bring it up again. 

You slowly started to integrate your life back with Peter’s. 

It started with sitting with him, Ned and MJ at lunch, Betty too when she wasn’t in the TV room piecing together her next segment for the morning announcements. Then Peter started walking to class with you holding your books or backpack when it got too heavy, and then finally you let him sit next to you in shared classes again. 

“Psst. Peter.” 

He kept his eyes on the board trying to copy down the words from the slide before they disappeared, this teacher changed slides too quickly. You were trying to copy the last slide from his paper but his arm blocked off part of what you needed. 

“Peter.” You whispered again but he kept going, to be fair he did have a headphone in. He was having a bad sense day, everything was just a bit too much for him, which is why he’s been clinging to you all day. For whatever reason you always calmed it down for him, sometimes you made it worse when things were getting a bit too physical, but usually you calmed him. 

“Babe?” 

His head whipped to yours, that's the first time you’ve dropped that line on him. 

“Yes?” 

You pointed at your sheet where it dropped off and pouted, “Help.” 

He immediately moved his arm and pushed his paper towards you a bit more and watched as you scratched down his notes, someone coughed and his ears rang, then again, and again. He started to shake his leg, then someone started to sniffle, it felt like it was in his head. Without pausing you wrapped your left arm around his elbow and scribbled a bit faster, if he was focusing on something it made it a little easier. His foot stopped instantly, and the noises became more muffled. 

“All done. Thanks.” You pushed it back his way but kept your arm around his, he wouldn’t ask for it but you knew he needed it. 

“Anytime.” You know he means it. 

After the bell rang he stood pushing things in his backpack, you did the same and lingered for a moment, he grabbed your hand and walked with you out the classroom. 

“Would you like to go on a date tonight?” 

It was a Friday and last week he had taken you to the Zoo, it was becoming a weekly habit. Part of him trying to win you back, not that you would tell him but you think he already has. The point of this was to take it slow, you both know how this is going to end so there’s no rush. 

“What are you thinking?” 

“I don’t know, I was thinking I’d leave it up to you. Your turn to choose.” 

“Your house? We can have a sleepover and do movies, maybe you’ll let me do a face mask with you to put you back in my good graces.” You teased him lightly, he always gave pushback when you tried to do spa nights, but he would always give in without much of a fight. 

“Shh, be quiet. I don’t need people thinking I’m a softie doing spa nights with my girl.” He teased back, as if he would care if people thought he was softie. He was the biggest softie around you and that’s one of the things you loved most. 

“Your girl? Who, me?” You looked around and smiled when he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and tucked you into his side. 

“Of course, you. Who else could I want?” 

Later that evening you found yourself at the Parker household but it wasn’t so quiet this time, May was humming in the kitchen and upon you walking in she screamed and pushed Peter to the side. 

“Hugs, hugs! Peter move, let me at her!” 

May wrapped her arms around you in a vice grip scared you’d run away if she let go, she missed having you around the house. Peter had a pep in his step when he was with you but since things ended he’s been more melancholy and quiet, it doesn’t help that May has been berating him too. 

When he walked in after ended it with you she knew immediately something was wrong. She asked him outright, “What happened? What did you do, Peter? Please don’t tell me you did something stupid.” He did. He did do something stupid and admitted to it after sobbing into his aunt's arm for an hour.  

She waited two weeks before she started in on him, like at the store, “I have a feeling I need to get strawberry ice cream, but I can’t remember who for. Was it that girl that came around before you broke her heart?” And Peter would heavily sigh, “Yes, May. That’s her.” 

She just missed having you around, and seeing Peter so happy. 

“What are you doing here? Oh my gosh!” May was beaming looking between you and her nephew. 

“Well,” You looked to Peter and rested your hand on your stomach.

May let out a gasp, “Peter, I swear to god if you got her pregnant!” Even though Peter knows that's not the case he takes a step back for extra measure. 

“Ew! God no. I wouldn’t let him touch me like that, May. He’s gross.” 

“Hey!” A whine.

“We were paired for a project at school and started hanging out again.” You smiled at May, you missed her as much as she did you. 

“And you’re hanging out here?” May pointed at the floor, she can’t believe after a school project things were fine. 

You nod. “Yes. Peter is trying to win me back, it’s date night. He let me choose and I wanted to have a sleepover, I even talked him into a spa night!” 

Peter’s eyes lit up, you were letting him put the pieces back into place.

“Date night? Since when is there a designated date night?” May was sputtering. 

You look at Peter and think back, his face helping you form an answer. “Three weeks?” 

Peter nods. 

May’s jaw dropped, her nephew mentioned nothing of this. At all. 

“Peter! What the fuck!” 

He jumped, “What?” 

“What is right! You’ve been taking her out without me knowing? Why?!” May was in shock, she knows Peter knows how much she’s missed you, she bullies him every chance she gets. 

“I don’t know,” Peter shrugged but did know why, and May knew that too. She just stared at him with that mom look and he looked at the ground and continued before looking at you. 

“I know you missed her, May. I wasn’t sure how this would go, I still don’t. It’s not my decision at the end, I didn’t want to get you all excited just to tell you I failed.” 

‘Peter.’ You mouthed the words, he shook his head subtly. You caught it, it meant ‘not now.’

May let out a breath and slapped her hands on her pants. “Okay, that’s fair. You should’ve given me a warning before you let her in though, I nearly had a heart attack.” 

“And you my dear,” She spun to you and wiggled in joy once more, still amazed you were truly in the room, here for a rekindling. 

“Are more than welcome to stay the night! Do you have dinner plans, or any plans at all? I’m about to leave for work, is there anything either of you need?” 

“Thanks, May! Peter’s cooking for me tonight, he said he got a new recipe.” 

Peter cut off May’s impressed look, “It’s just a restaurant copycat, May. I’ve just never made it for her before.” 

“Is that why you got so many tomatoes at the store? Are you making your own tomato sauce!” 

“Oh my god, Peter.” You whined out at him, he cut his gaze towards you and grinned. He was down bad. 

“You’re making homemade sauce? That is so cute, c’mere.” You tugged at him for a side hug, not missing the way May’s eyes gleamed. 

“Well, I just cleaned the kitchen so it’s up to the chef now.” She throws a wink at her nephew, “It is so nice having some sunshine back in the apartment, I’ll see you both in the morning. Good night!” May placed a kiss to each of your foreheads and made a final goodbye at the door, you heard the click where she locked it on the outside. 

You were alone and excited, you didn’t plan on anything happening tonight and sure, you definitely missed Peter in that way, but seeing him so domestic you wanted to lay him down flat and make him a mess. 

He had changed into sweatpants, baby yoda printed socks poked out, and his white tee. You think he did it on purpose, he didn’t act like he did but he has to know what he’s doing. It seemed just a bit too tight, like he hadn’t worn it in a while and it just came out the dryer, it was snug across his chest and constricted around his biceps that flexed at every subtle movement of him mixing a pot of red. 

“I regret my choice for date night.” 

“Oh?” He looked sad, “We can do something else, what did you have in mind?” 

“Oh no, I am very much enjoying what I’m seeing. That’s the issue, Mr. Parker.” 

“That doesn’t seem like much of an issue to me, dear.” 

His back was turned to you again, he spoke a little louder to make up for his echo towards the stove. You were sitting on the kitchen counter next to the sink, feet swaying and slightly kicking the cabinet, if it was a few months ago Peter would scold you for kicking them. He would tell you May would beat you up and then he would have to beat May up for doing so, and then he would grab at your knees and stop them while he squeezed and you would laugh trying to peel his hands off. 

Tonight he was letting you get away with it, he’s been letting you do that recently. Small things that would’ve pushed him in the past didn’t get to him, or he was allowing it to happen so he didn’t push you too far with scolding. You chewed your bottom lip and watched him, he had a white rag thrown over his shoulder. You peered down to your right and saw the cheese grater and plate, he even was grating fresh cheese, he was going all out for you tonight. 

“I think it needs more oregano, or pepper. It’s missing something, what do you think?” He licked the corner of his mouth for any extra tomato sauce, his face scrunched in concentration. Peter held his hand under the wooden spoon lightly blowing on it before raising it to your mouth, you smacked your lips a few times getting a taste, “Add a little salt, then let me try again.” 

He nodded and you watched him add more of the flaked salt, then returned with another cooled mouthful. “Mm, I think you were right. It’s really yummy though.” Peter smiled and patted your knee, “Thank you, baby.” Your heart gushed and you yearned for a kiss, the rules were weird. You weren’t together yet, choosing to really make sure you can trust him. But, you also weren’t not together, he was taking you on dates, and doting, and really, really trying. 

You were dating, that was clear. And people who go on regular dates kiss, right? Not to mention you were dating for almost two years, you’ve kissed before. It wouldn’t be weird at all, and it hasn’t been. Each peck you’ve given had a hidden layer of lust, each time you met it was harder to pull away. Part of you was nervous for tonight, you were scared you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself. 

Especially when sharing a bed.

Gathering courage you slid to your feet feather light, you stood behind him for a moment before leaning in, sticking your nose in the crease of his armpit. “Hi,” He turned his neck to glance at you for a moment before turning his head back, “Hi, baby.” You moved to lay your cheek on his shoulder blade, hands coming around his chest and pressing into him, “You’re warm,” your words were slightly muffled from a squished cheek. 

“You light a fire in me, what can I say?” 

“Gross, you’re cheesy.” You moved to pull away but he caught your hands and held his against yours to hold them there, he was asking for an extra cuddle. You gave in, bear hugging his back, you squeezed tight, “Can we go out for ice cream after dinner?” 

“Anything you want.” 

“Anything I want, huh?” 

He hummed. 

“Can I ask a question?” 

“Shoot.” 

“Kiss?” 

Peter turned in your hold, “Pretty girl, you never have to ask for a kiss. Now, c’mere.” 

He leant to kiss you, his thumb rubbing at your cheek made you dizzy. It was luring you into a trap, you didn’t care. Peter broke first, “Good?” You blinked your eyes open slowly, “Another,” He gave you one more, you held on for a moment longer, he broke away again, he leaned away trying to find space, he needed to stir his sauce, it was almost at a simmer. 

You followed his mouth, a peck, “Baby,” another peck, “I gotta stir,” another, “Baby,” he laughed and drew his head back, you kissed his chin. “One more for good measure,” He rolled his eyes, but did it regardless, both hands cupping your face he squashed your lips in a playful kiss, pulling back with an animated pucker sound. 

“Now get back, menace.” 

Peter was finally able to focus on the main part of the dish, he flattened the protein with a tenderizer and started to grate the cheese. You wondered if it would be the wrong time to bring it up again, the ‘why’ question. 

“Is it a bad time to bring it up?” 

He paused for a split second, his focus reminded on the sharp grater. You watched the parmesan fall like snow. 

“You won’t be my girlfriend until I tell you.” 

It wasn’t a question, it was rhetorical. 

“No, I don’t think I will.” It was a sad smile. 

“The thing I’m scared of is,” He rolled the wrapping on the cheese down a bit further then started to grate again, “ that you won’t want to be my girlfriend once I tell you.” 

“Will I be mad?” 

“I think it’s more disappointment.” 

“Is it worse than breaking up with me?” 

“I,” He paused and knocked the extra cheese off the grater and leveled the bowl. He started once more, “I don’t know.” He looked at you and sighed. “I don’t want you to hate me.” 

“Is it that bad?” You can’t think of something that extreme, something only you and him would share. It was obviously extremely personal. 

Peter stopped and moved to his left to stand between your thighs, one hand resting above your knee. He tapped his thumb and thought of his words, how he would tell the story looking at you. 

“I uh, I got in a fight?”

He sounded unsure, you don’t think it was a lie but you question the choice of words.  

“When?” 

“A week before I ended it.” 

“Why?” A whisper. 

Peter bent his bottom lip with a nibble, he looked to the side and you saw moisture prick at the edges of his eyes. He shrugged, his voice cracked when he looked back at you. 

“You.” 

“Me?” 

“I, uh. It was, well I don’t. I just, I can’t right now. I can’t, I’m sorry.” 

You knew it was a bad time, and you get what he meant at the planetarium, it was a mood killer.  

“We don’t have to talk about it anymore tonight, Petey. Let’s drop it and forget it for now, we can unpack this later. Right now I just want to eat your yummy dinner and cuddle on the couch with a movie, is that alright with you?” 

“You sure?” 

“Positive. Give me a kiss, chef.” 

After dinner, which was delicious, you even ate scraps off Peter’s plate and then shoved yours into his chest and requested seconds that had him hopping to his own beat to the kitchen. Then dessert, which ended up with both of you choosing to swap ice cream for homemade cookies. 

Then you forced him to lay his head back into your lap while you applied a goopy paste that covered his face gray. 

“It’s cold” He whined  

“Cold is good, it shrinks your pores.” 

“My what?” 

You rolled your eyes, “it makes you look younger.” 

“I’m already baby faced, get it off!” 

When his phone timer went off you both tread into his bathroom to remove it, the space was slightly too small for two, both of you constantly bumping hips. 

“Get away from me, stinky.” Peter pulled into the corner while giving his chin circular motions after you scolded him for dragging his skin down. 

“If you want to shower with me just say so.” You winked at him in the mirror, you patted a towel on your face to remove any leftover moisture then waited to hand it off to Peter once he rinsed his own off.  

“That’s gross.” He still tore it from your hands and patted his own, softer after you screamed “Gentle!” 

“What is, the face mask?” 

“No, sharing a towel.” 

You pulled a neutral face, “Wait until you find out about all the other things we’ve shared.” 

“Is that a sexual innuendo? I’m calling HR.” 

A yawn exchange was currently in place, you started it. Then Peter gave one, then you copied, and because you yawned he did, you opened your mouth to rinse and repeat when he pushed your face to the side with his hand. 

“Stop it, go to bed.” His voice was teasing, “You stuffed me! I’m being lulled to sleep in the comfort of your arms.” 

You had both started on opposite sides of the couch, then you shifted to the middle, then stretched your legs out on his lap and he lightly scratched at your shins. Then halfway through the first movie you swapped so his fingers were scratching at your scalp. And somewhere between a bathroom break and the start of the second movie you sauntered back over to the couch but on Peter’s half. 

“Open sesame.” You made a parting motion at his crossed arms. 

He opened and dropped his arms like dead weight and watched as you pulled them in whatever position you liked, you finally settled on laying with your butt against his hip, one arm was crossed under your head as a pillow and the other was thrown over your chest. 

“Finished fluffing me?” 

“This pillow talks too much.” 

You both stayed like that for a movie and a half, Peter had to pee so bad his eyes were watering but he refused to break the cuddles. He never, ever wanted to leave your side again. 

“Go to bed, it’s okay.” He watched you wiggle up with a stretch. You picked up the soft throw blanket to follow in with you, you blinked at Peter and waited for him to rise. When he didn’t move you poked his shin with a toe, “Are you coming or staying up?” His eyebrows stretched, “You want me to come? I was prepared to crash in May’s.” 

“You think I chose a sleepover to sleep alone? Rude.” 

“No! I just didn’t expect to share a bed. I know we’re in this inbetween stage, I didn’t want to rush anything.” 

“Well, I want to share a bed. So, share a bed we may.” 

Peter rose in an instant, clicking the TV off with the remote, darkness enveloped the room, you blinked to adjust Peter’s frame. He rested a hand on your lower back to guide you into his room. 

“Yes ma’am.” 

He sunk into bed and reset the pillows, his jaw dropped when you raised your shirt above your head and ripped off a sports bra. 

“Oh my god, boobs.” 

“What? These old things?” 

“Boobs. I see boobs right now.” 

You giggled and gave your chest a little shake, his head darted back and forth with the movement. It was like shaking a treat at a dog. 

“Last time you saw them you wanted nothing to do with em!” 

He shook his head, “That’s because you were drunk, someone had to make a good decision.” 

“I wasn’t that drunk, I still remember that whole night and gag when I think about it.” 

Peter kept trying to go between your face and chest, he was doing his best at looking at you, but you saw the subtle drop down and back up. 

“Wanna touch them?” 

He gasped and his face lit up. 

“For real?” 

“For real.” 

Peter made grabby hands, and kissing sounds. You laughed at his childish demeanor and kneeled on his bed, chest in his face. 

“This is so much better than Christmas.” 

He chewed his bottom lip. 

“I’m gonna touch them.” 

“Go ahead.” You pushed your chest forward. 

“Like right now.” 

“I’m wondering why you haven’t.” 

“I’m waiting for you to say, “just kidding, you’re a perv.””

“Not gonna happen.” 

“Okay then, I’m grabbing them yiddies.” 

And he did, he grabbed one in each hand and jiggled, then giggled when they danced in his face.

You slapped his hands away, “oh my god, I didn’t think you would actually do it, you perv!” 

His face dropped with his hands, until he saw your smile. “Menace.” He grabbed them again, then couldn’t help himself. 

Mesmerized, his words were filled with filth despite the innocence of his words.

“So pretty, baby.” So soft, so quiet. 

Only for your ears.  

“Says you, handsome.” Just as private as his, he shook his head, almost disappointed that you didn’t get it. 

“Are you sure you wanna cover these back up?” He moved his hands to watch them bounce one more time before you slapped them off, pushing off the bed to slide your shirt back over.

Crawling back into bed next to him you moved to cuddle him, leg thrown over his hip, hand tracing his chest while your head rested on his quick heartbeat. 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

“Uh oh.” He twirled his finger around your hair. 

“It’s nothing bad! I swear.” 

This is pillowtalk. Peter loves and misses pillowtalk. 

“Alright, run it by me.” 

“Sex. Thoughts, opinions, ideology?” 

“Sex good.” 

“So insightful, that will be quoted in years to come.” 

“Why are you asking me about sex?” 

“This isn’t asking me things, time, it’s me asking you things, time.” 

He stayed silent, he wouldn’t respond to you without an answer. When he acted dominating it was always a rush. 

“Uh! I guess I mean, ya know.” 

He truly didn’t know, but if he knows you, and he does, he had to take a guess. 

“You want to know if I want to have sex with you?” 

“You don’t have to say it like that.” You muffled the words in his shirt. 

Why were you so coy? 

He laughed, “Baby, I don’t think there’s another way to say that.” 

You waited, he didn’t answer. 

“Well?” 

“Hm.” He poked your side, “You first.” 

You turned to his face with an open mouth, “No way! I asked you first.” 

He rolled his eyes. “No you didn’t, I had to guess what you were trying to ask.” 

“Same thing! You always know what I mean, that’s why you’re my boyfriend!” 

A pause, no one moved or said anything. 

“I mean, before you totally ruined everything and dumped me and now caused yourself to be in this period of space and time due to the choices you’ve made up to this point in life, which is why you are not my current boyfriend, but you were in a past timeline and a possible future timeline. Speaking of which, when you told May getting back together may fail what did you mean by that? You think I may not take you back, or this will end with us officially, officially ending it?”

Peter blinked slowly, that was so much at once.

“That was so much at once.” 

You looked around the room, word vomit was always a bad habit of yours. And usually with Peter, he had a way of getting you to spill your guts. 

“I appreciate the clarification on the boyfriend status, but you didn’t have to be so brutal, damn.” He took a breath, “Second, I am trying to win you back, not the other way around. You already have me, so when I say this may fail, I mean it. At the end of the day, you have final say and I really may have ruined this for real.” 

“I panicked.” You didn’t mean to sound so harsh.

“I know you did.” 

“I know what I can say back to that.” 

“What’s that?” 

“You’re not my boyfriend.” 

“I know, sweetheart.” 

“Yet.” 

“Oh, word?” He held up his hand for a fist bump.

“Word.” You tapped knuckles. 

“Now, what was that about wanting to rattle my bones?” 

You rolled your eyes, “Oh my god, just say fuck.” 

“I have never said fuck in that context, it’s dirty.” 

“Peter! Sex is dirty, and that’s okay. Just say it, c’mon.” 

“Not happening, it makes me feel weird. I feel like I got a pass from my parents to cuss one time, and it doesn’t feel right.” 

“Peter if you don’t say you want to fuck me right now, I will give you a purple nurple.” 

“I would love to, fu- Nope, not happening, it’s wrong.” 

“Of course it’s wrong, don’t be nice!” 

“I am nice! That's all I have, unlike you! Menace.” 

“That’s toxic, now say it with your chest. “I wanna fuck you.” Just like that.” 

“I wanna… you.” He turned his head and mumbled the middle part.

“You wanna do what?”

“Fu..” He mumbled the rest and coughed in his fist, cheeks pink. 

“One more time, I know you’ve got it in you.” 

He groaned and tugged at his curls, “Nope, moment is over. Not happening, not my fault you couldn’t hear me.” 

“Ugh, fine.” You pulled away from him to get one last bathroom trip in, then jumped into bed and laughed when Peter held his arms out like he could steady the bed. 

That’s something he would’ve scolded you for, he stayed silent. 

On the brink of total slumber Peter whispered in your ear, he was currently holding you from behind, his arms wrapped around you and he was pressed against you. 

“Can I be little spoon?” 

You throw his arm off you and turn around, his face right in yours. 

“Of course I can jetpack!” 

Then you press a chaste kiss to his mouth, you pull back before he can register. 

“Goodnight, Petey.” 

—---------------------------------------------

Why was everyone looking at you?

It felt like a movie, walking into school everyone had turned their head and watched you. 

It was a dream, it had to be. Maybe you forgot pants, nope, you have pants on. Maybe someone buzzed your hair off, nope, every hair was still there. Maybe it was someone behind you, nope, just you. 

You were beginning to feel self conscious, the pressure was on for no reason. 

Why was everyone looking at you? 

Oh. That’s why. 

Every single locker in the senior hall had a post it note.

Each square is a different color. 

Each had the same words. 

“Peter loves Y/N.” 

You slowly walked the halls in awe, looping around to see that he had actually put one on each cage of blue metal. 

Every locker had his declaration of his love, except for yours. 

No, your’s was an entire collage, canary yellow post its covered the entire thing, only your combination lock was visabile. In bright red, boldly written across, “I LOVE YOU.” Over, and over, and over again. 

MJ approached your locker and nodded her head impressed, she always told Peter actions speak louder than words, looks like he finally listened. 

Unable to break your gaze away for more than two seconds you glance at her and look back at what you consider an art piece. 

“Be honest,” You look at her once more, “Do you think he loves me?” 

And she laughs, a rare full body shake laugh. You can’t help but laugh with MJ, it was contagious. 

“If he does, he doesn't show it well.” 

You sigh and look around the hallway once more. 

“Yeah, it’s really hard to tell.” 

———————————————

“There’s my little artist!” You kiss your fingers at Peter. 

“Is that a short joke? You know I’m sensitive.” 

“And you know you’re a short king.” 

You set your backpack on the lunch table before sitting next to him, and stare in awe. It was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever experienced, you would be reliving this moment forever. 

How could you not make him yours right now? 

“So you noticed?” 

You laugh, “I’m pretty sure everyone did. I think Mrs. Bender was jealous.” 

“Okay, you need to stop with the Mrs. Bender isn’t getting laid.” 

“Well, she shouldn’t act like she’s not getting dick.” 

“But it’s okay when you do?” 

“That is so mean, you have no idea, you are so toxic to me.” 

“Am I wrong?” 

“Yes! I get dick!” 

“Oh yeah, from where?”

“I have hoes!” 

“Name five.” 

“Well, I have you.” 

Peter makes a buzz noise, “It’s been almost five months, plus that was when we were dating. I can’t be a hoe if we’re dating.” 

“You can absolutely be a hoe while dating.” 

“Sure. Four more names, I’m waiting.” 

“I mean, there was this one guy.” You look to the side, oh, you were being truthful. 

Peter thinks it was that guy you talked about at the party with your friends. 

“Nathan?” 

“How did you know?” You look back at his face, nothing really happened and you felt the need to tell him that. Even though you were broken up you didn’t want him to think of you like that. 

“Lucky guess.” He winked. 

If he was bothered he was playing it off good. 

“It wasn’t what you think.” 

“What do you think, I think?” 

“That I fucked him.” 

Peter winced, he hated the word. So vulgar.

“I didn’t say that.” 

“Would it bother you if I did?” 

Why did you want him to be bothered by that? 

“I don’t know, which is why I don’t think about it. We were broken up, I can’t hold that over your head. But it doesn’t feel nice knowing someone else got to see and feel the same parts I did.” 

“Have you hooked up with someone else?” Sure, try and level the playing field. 

“Nope. I am untainted, I was a good little boy.” He grinned at you proudly. 

“Can I tell you about it? It isn’t super bad, but I will throw in a PG-13 warning, depictions of sex.” 

Peter grumbled. 

“If you gotta.” 

“I just don’t want you to think I’m a whore.” You nibbled on your lip. 

“Pause. I would never, and if that’s why you want to tell me, don’t. If you want to tell me to share that information with me, because you want to, then please do.” 

“He sucked. I swear.” 

Peter nods, but it still feels like you’re trying to make him feel better. 

“I was a little too drunk and he was all over me, and I really missed you and he was there. He didn’t even kiss me, he asked me to suck him off and I refused, then he said he would go down on me so I would suck his dick, then I don’t know what he was doing down there but I swear he was just pretending, Peter. I felt nothing.” 

“Then what?” He waited for you to continue after he took a bite from his turkey and wheat.

“I got up and left. I was so pissed at my friends for letting me go into that room with him.” 

“I should get you an ‘I survived’ medal.” 

You laughed and rested your forehead on his shoulder, nodding before looking at him. 

“Question?” 

“Whatcha what?” 

You blinked and looked at his mouth. He deserved a kiss, he made you the school’s star for the day, every one knew how much Peter Parker loved you. 

“Kissy?” 

He shook his head lightly. 

“What did I say about asking?” 

You shrug, innocence taking front place. You always got so shy when you confessed something to him. 

“I like it, it feels special.” 

“Okay then, ask me anytime you want a kiss.” 

“I want a kiss.” 

“Well, that’s more of a statement than a question, but I appreciate the enthusiasm, so come closer.” 

And you did, where he met you with a kiss. This one felt normal, it felt like home. It felt like every kiss you had before the break up, it was beginning to feel like it never happened and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

It sure did feel like a good thing though. 

“Hi cuties! Are we dating yet or still feeling it out?” Betty Brant broke up the kiss, Ned trailing in behind her with two lunch trays. 

“That line was so long, I am never doing Friday fish tacos again.” Ned sat down and wiped fake sweat from his forehead, his girlfriend sank next to him and pouted, “But I love Friday fish tacos.” 

Ned nods sternly. “I will be doing Friday fish tacos again.” 

Betty smiles and straightens her posture. 

“Dating?” 

Ned nods to you two turned into each other. 

“You look like a couple.” 

You wrap your hand around Peter’s arm. 

“Yeah, a couple of besties!” 

“Not the friendzone.” Peter’s voice is panicked. 

“Not dating?” Betty frowns, she is more invested in this than you thought. 

You smile at her for caring. “Not yet. I’m waiting for Peter to ask.” You bump your shoulder with his. 

Peter raises his head from his carrots, he crunches on one. 

“I don’t think I will.” You think he’s joking, but you quickly realize he’s not. 

“What do you mean?” 

He shrugs, “I think it would make more sense for you to ask me. I’m the one trying to win you back.” 

“Then ask?” You’re confused. 

“I feel like I already have, I’m just waiting on the yes.” 

Betty looks between you two frantically, Ned is busy assembling tacos. He’s used to these conversations between you two, he’s seen more than he can count. 

“But you haven’t asked since we started this.” 

“Okay, if I asked now would you say yes?” 

You chewed your lip. 

“I don’t know.” 

Peter raised his hand. 

“That is exactly why you should ask me.” 

“But that’s scary!” 

“You can do it, I believe in you.” 

“How about I tell you when I want you to ask me.” 

It’s almost the same thing. 

“No, I want you to ask me. I asked the first time.” 

“I don’t know how to ask you!” 

“Find a way, make it your way. There is no wrong or right way, just make sure you’re clear.” 

“Do you mean don’t accidentally say it like last weekend?” 

“There was a hint, yes.” 

You looked at Betty and winked. 

“What if I get down on one knee and ask?” 

“Okay. There is one wrong way.” 

“Super public too, maybe I’ll slide a twenty to the jumbotron camera guy at the Mets.” 

“Nightmare fuel.” Peter shuddered. 

Both you and Betty cracked up. 

—————————————-

May was shocked to see your face, yet again Peter has yet to fail to announce your presence. 

“Hi! What a surprise to see you again!” 

You melted into a hug, you spoke into her neck. 

“It’s a surprise for Peter too, I’m hoping for a surprise sleepover, I missed him a little too much tonight.” You whispered the last part, a little too much confession. 

“Always. Always, always welcome.” She placed a kiss on your temple and pulled you in. 

“Peter! Your girlfriends here!” 

“Yeah, Peter! Your girlfriends here!” You mimicked May’s words and shared a giggle. 

Peter emerged from his room, tugging up the zipper on his hoodie. His face went from shock to excitement, bouncing over to you. 

“Hi, handsome!” You held your hands out for a hug, his arms wrapping around your middle and squeezing tight, he rocked you back and forth. You weren’t the only one missing him more than usual. 

He pulled back and tilted his head, before he could ask a question you beat him to the punch. May watched in silence, happy to see the moment take place. The moment you fell back in love, truly and fully. 

“Kiss?” You puckered and waited. 

“Course.” He leant in, you settled for the quick pecks. 

Peter looked over your outfit and put the pieces together.

“Sleepover?”

You nod with a grin, “Sleepover!” 

Your eyes widened, you whipped your head at May. 

“Please, please tell me you got more popcorn.” 

“Ultimate butter. And, strawberry ice cream.” She smiled at your immediate grin. 

“I’m home,” you wipe a fake tear from under your eye.

You turned your head back to Peter with a puppy dog look, batting your eyelashes and clasped your hands and twisted.  

“Petey,” You drew out the name. 

“Baby,” He tilted his tone. 

“Can you please make me some popcorn, pretty please.” 

“Be honest, did you come here for the popcorn?” It was supposed to be a joke. 

You scoff, “Don’t be ridiculous, I only came for you. I missed you, best friend.” 

“That’s cute.” Peter grinned at you and looked towards May who was currently melting. 

“You’re cute,” You turned your head to May, “Close your eyes, May. Peter’s gonna lay one on me.” 

You made grabby hands for his neck to bring him closer, “It better be a juicy one, May isn’t looking.” And she wasn't, she chose to walk away for a moment, leaving you both for a joyful reunion, even if it’s only been a few hours. 

You asked, Peter delivered. His kiss left your head spinning, you always wondered if he felt the same. He sometimes would leave you in such a head high you felt like you were in a daze. 

“Do you feel like that after a kiss?” You were so loopy you forgot to share what you were thinking.

“Like there’s nothing else like that feeling, it feels so warm and comforting. Like, it really feels like total love, and I swear you make me feel high sometimes, it’s like time stops.” 

“I know what you mean, it’s like no one else but us matters.” 

“You are the only thing that exists for me in that moment, and there is nowhere else I’d ever want to be.” 

Peter groaned, “Come on now, how am I supposed to follow that one up?” 

You grinned, “You can start with making me some popcorn.” 

—————————————

It was only a matter of time. 

Peter was already yours, all you had to do was ask. The only thing holding you back was the why. 

It had to happen soon, you would slip and you swore to yourself you wouldn’t be his girlfriend again until he tells you why you have to ask him to be yours once more. 

Winter break was taking place, and you were currently on Peter Parker's lap grinding down on fleece pajama pants while he was gripping at a breast kissing down your neck while you groaned and tug at his hair. 

There was absolutely nothing wrong with sharing personal wants with a person you desire. 

“Is that what you say to make yourself feel better about sucking my dick?”  

“Oh, so you can say that but not ‘I want to fuck you?’” 

“Yes.” 

“Oh my god, Peter.” 

Sex started a week or two after that last sleepover, it was getting cold and you begged for more warmth even when tucked into his side, and so you backed up into him, butt against his groin, that was normal. 

Except his hand was squashed down in the middle, so you dug one hand behind you trying to lift it out the way as you scooch, back, and back, and back, and oh, there it was. 

It was pressing harder into your back, you wondered if you should pull away, wake Peter up or see how far it would go if you fell into it casually. 

You rub, you grind, you feel Peter’s hand grab tightly at your hip to hold it steady. 

“Baby?” It was warning, his voice was dull and rough, you were the first thing out his mouth. 

“Yes?” It was a whisper, you knew what you were doing. He could hear that too. 

“Do you know what you’re doing?” His grip faltered under a hard pressed grind, he groaned and pressed your hip away. 

“Yes.” You grabbed at the hand on your waist and pulled it up your shirt, his cool hand sent chills up your chest. 

“You want me to take care of you?” The switch, from innocence to dominant, playful to serious. This was your Peter. 

“Please,” It was a whimper. 

“Just lay right there, I know what you want.” 

He started to press kisses down your neck disappearing below the sheets, kisses never stopped. 

And he did know what you wanted, he always did. 

Always, always, always. 

At that moment you only had one question. 

‘What’s the point of asking? He’s already mine anyways.’ 

Now, it was bleeding into day three of living at the Parkers, it had been like this accidently since winter break started. May had gone away for a work trip and Peter’s place became a crash pad, it was just one night, and then one more and it’s probably going to be one more tonight too. 

“Peter…” You sighed off the words, his kisses coming to a stop. 

He grinned up at you, and as lovely as this was you didn’t want to miss the parade down a couple blocks. 

“I want you to do something for me.”

His eyes widened, his voice in a soft hush. 

“Anything.” 

“Say, say you wanna fuck me,” 

Peter groaned and tossed you off his lap. 

“You could’ve just said you didn’t want to be late to the parade, but no.” 

“God you are so in tune with me, it’s such a turn on.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Butter me up now so I’ll give in and spend twelve bucks on a churro for you.” He waved you off and stood swapping pajamas for denim. 

“But they’re filled with chocolate, Peter!” 

“You’re lucky I love you.” He kissed your forehead and moved past you to look for a warmer jacket, his words lit a fire in you. 

It’s obvious he loves you and while you haven’t said the words back you know he knows you do too. He’s been more giving with the words of affection, each time felt like a secret. Like, of course he does but, he doesn’t have to share that with you. 

“Again,” He turns and tilts his head. 

“Kiss?” He approaches to peck at your forehead, you go to step back but let him place one more. 

“No.” 

“No?” 

“Again.” You repeat the words. 

“Kiss?” You step back this time, “No, again.” 

His eyes brighten, “Oh, I love you.” 

You bite your bottom lip, “One more time?” 

“I love you!” He cheers the words and pulls a beanie on. 

“Peter,” You pause, you weren’t sure what he thought it would mean if you said it back. 

“I know, I know you do.” 

—--------------------------------

The parade was packed, there were rows of people pressed into the barricade. 

Mostly families, moms and dads and grandmas had babies and toddlers rested on shoulders or a hip so they could get a good glance at Santa when he rode by. Rows of streets were blocked off, each street off the main parade route was filled with food trucks and popup booths of home-made crafts. 

Peter and you strode hand in hand down each street, on one he bought you hot chocolate, which you shared. The next you got your churro, which you shared. One of the streets you passed a small canopy with homemade christmas tree ornaments, there was one in decorated ceramic. A delicate Lily of the Valley decorated the front and the year was painted in black and circled. 

It felt like the breath was knocked from you, you remembered the meaning when Peter gave you one, a return to happiness. There was no clearer message from the universe. 

“Babe?” You called out for your other half, who had slipped away looking for anything May would find special. 

“Yeah?” He was calling from the otherside, his head was stuck in a bin shuffling through miniature stuffed bears.

“C’mere. I found something.” 

You felt his hand press against your lower back, his chin sunk to your shoulder. 

“Look.” You raised the string and watched as it slowly twisted in the wind, his eyes staring until they lit with recognition. 

“Holy shit!” Peter reached his hand out to grab it, he had to feel it. It was real. 

“We have to get it, right?” Both of you spoke at the same time. 

You flushed pink, Peter grinned and poked your side. 

“Hey, man! How much is this one?” 

You watched and played with Peter’s gloves while he interacted with the man. He approached with a proud smile and a small black bag, he waved the receipt in his hand and stuck his hand out to yours. 

“Can I ask a question?” 

“You know, one of these days I’m going to ask that back.” 

“And I’ll answer just like you do.” 

“Yes, dear?” 

“Can I have a kiss?” 

“Oh, you.” He grumbled and pulled you in regardless, his nose was cold on your cheek, when you pulled away you rubbed your face against it to help warm it up some. 

“Can I tell you something?” 

“Anything,” He was walking you forward, looking for the best view that didn’t take away from any kid's sight. You were enthralled with his hand in yours, scooting you by other strangers. 

“I know how I’m going to ask.” 

He turned his head back at you in question, pulling you to the side after checking it was a good spot. 

“Ask what, baby?” 

“How I’m going to ask you to be my boyfriend.” 

“If it includes you getting on one knee I’m gonna say no.” 

“What if I get on both?” 

Peter pointed to the church both of your backs were resting against, your grin dropped shyfully. 

“I didn’t mean it,” You mumbled to the building. 

“Yes she did.” Peter whispered back, you slapped him on the arm. 

“Okay then, how?” 

“I can’t tell you that!” You sputtered at him, it was like telling him his birthday present. 

“What? Then why would you tell me that?” 

“Because I wanted to let you know I knew how I was going to do it.” 

“Oh I see, you were too excited to keep it a true surprise but you also want it to be surprising enough you won’t give me any true details.” 

“Remember what I said about what a big turn on that is?” 

Peter looked back at the church and rolled his eyes. 

“Told you she wasn’t kidding.” 

—------------------------------------

“Okay, let’s get it out of the way so this can really get started.” 

Peter looked around confused, your voice came from nowhere. Where were you? 

“Over here, nerd.” 

You poked your head out from behind a street sign, and watched as Peter threw his head left and right until he spotted you, the whites on his mask widening then dropping, you knew he was full of smiles. 

“Hi, baby!” Peter looked behind him once more before dropping to the ground below him, you ran into an alleyway behind him, and checked to see him slowly creep in behind you. 

“Kiss?” When he finally approached, he turned his head to check behind him and shook his head solemnly. 

“I don’t think so, baby.” 

You frown. Peter never refused a kiss request, in the suit or out. And, if you were far from the street, a quick kiss wouldn’t be the end of the world. 

“Why not? My lips are so cold, I forgot my boyfriend’s jacket.” You winked then corrected yourself, “I mean, my friend that is a boy.” 

“I, uh,” He looked around once more then quickly stepped up to you, he pulled his mask just barely above his nose then leaned in. You were unable to even press back into the kiss before he stepped away and returned his mask to a normal position, then he looked above him quickly. 

“Is everything okay?” You follow his eyesight and look around with him. 

“Yeah! Are you okay?” 

“I’m okay, are you sure you’re okay?” 

You watched as he kept looking around, he was almost acting like he was about to get caught doing something he shouldn’t. 

“Are you cheating on me?” He missed the tilt in your voice, just teasing. 

Peter whipped his head back at you, he started to pull at his mask but stopped himself and sunk it tightly back on his face. 

“What? No, not at all.” 

“You look like you’re about to get caught with me,” You poke at his chest and he steps back some, he doesn’t miss the flash of hurt in your eyes. 

This was the first time you’ve approached him as Spider-Man since the break up, Peter has tried everything possible to keep you away as the masked hero, and you hadn't noticed. Until now, because now you begin to wonder if this was why. 

Peter was acting awkward, and he never did around you. Around you, Peter was methodical, confident, suave and in love. Right now it seemed like he wanted you gone. 

“I mean, maybe. You never know who’s watching, I don’t need the media on the case of Spider-Man’s secret girlfriend.” 

You frown once more, you can’t press on it now. He would try and back himself into a corner where nothing was wrong, then that would cause him anxiety because he’s lying and you know how much he hates backtracking after a lie. 

“Do you want me to leave? We can talk later.” You question him and go to place your hands around his biceps but pull back halfway through, you caught the hint, he didn’t want you all over him right now. 

Peter caught your hands and pulled him then to rest on his chest. 

“You can touch me, baby.” He chuckled slightly, but you caught the nerves in his voice. 

“Give me a kiss and I’ll leave?” You blinked at your boy, he shook his head lightly. 

“You said you wanted to talk about something, what’s up?” 

“It’s okay, it doesn’t seem like you want me here right now.” Really, it was okay.

You know Peter is frowning behind his mask. 

“Of course I want you here, tell me what’s going on?” 

You moved your hands to his shoulders and gave a squeeze, then moved your head to look around. You didn’t get why he was on edge, but you respected it. 

Upon realizing no one was in the area you stepped in for a hug, immediately filled with warmth the shocking breeze seemed to dull outside. Winter break was ending soon and coming back to school with ‘I got a boyfriend for Christmas, what about you?’ seemed like the biggest flex imaginable. 

Instantly, Peter had his hands wrapped around your back. You felt the slight groove of his gloves running up and down your back, he leant his head into yours and you know if his mask was off he would be pressing kisses to the top of your head. 

After squeezing tightly one last time you pulled away and smiled brightly at him. 

“How much longer will you be out here?” 

“Probably a few more hours, I’ll be home around dinner.” He starts to slightly scratch down your arms. 

“Wanna go out?” 

You hum, “We can, I wanna talk to you first, though.” 

“Everything good?” He was asking if he was in trouble. 

“Yeah! Kiss?” 

“Tell me what’s up first.” He was bartering, he was on edge now. 

“Hm, nope. I’ll see you later, babe. Kiss?” 

“Are you mad?” He meant because you caught onto him not wanting you here. 

“Not at all, if it’s okay with you I was gonna head to yours and get a nap in before I see you later.” 

“Course it is. Need a key?” You gave yours back after the break up. 

“May’s not home still?” 

He shook his head, “Weather pushed back the flight, because of the ice she’s not sure when she’ll be back.” 

“Boo, key please.” You held out your hand and opened and closed it quickly, begging for the key. 

“Hold on, baby.” Peter stepped away and jumped halfway up the wall peeling off his backpack from behind a ledge, then turned to make sure you were looking. He started to lightly swing it your way letting you know he was about to toss it down, you readed your hands and yelled “Hut!” before he dropped it at you. 

You caught it with a grunt, then unzipped the small outer pocket and stuck your hand in searching for the key, startled you kept your hand in the same position as it was before Peter, quite literally ripped it from your hands. 

“Sorry! I have something in here you can’t see yet.”

He pushed the key in your hand and closed your fist around it. 

“Here, sorry again, baby.” 

You narrowed your eyes, “You’re lucky you’re cute.” 

“You’re cuter, otherwise I wouldn’t put up with that attitude.” You caught a wink through the mask. 

“Toxic. Give me a kiss, and make it a real one.” 

“As opposed to a fake one?” 

“You didn’t give me a good kiss earlier and you know it.” 

“Every kiss with you is a good kiss.” 

You whine at his flirting. 

“Please, Petey.” You pout, you know you’ve got him cornered. 

“Alright, c’mere.” He calls you closer with his hands and turns with his back to the street. 

“You wanna lift it or me?” 

You stare in awe, you missed pulling the mask off. 

“Me!” You tug it up past his lips, then roll it over his nose. But, at this point you might as well just take the whole thing off, right? Worth a try at least, you wrap your hands around his neck and pull him in for a kiss. His own hands wrap around your waist and pull you in tighter, you pull back slightly. 

“It’s rubbing my nose, hold on.” You tug it higher, and place one more kiss. 

Then you pull back again and slowly push it up, he tightens his grip but says nothing. 

This was one of those moments where he would scold you but was letting you get away with it, at this point you know it’s because he doesn’t want to mess anything up. You can’t help but wonder how long you can drag this out. 

In one movement you tug the entire thing off, “Hi, handsome.” 

“Hi,” He whispers. 

His curls framed his forehead nicely, you’ve been begging every week for him not to cut it. Your requests would soon be ignored, you knew Peter could only handle it so long before he chopped it. If you took a guess he would get it cut before school restarted, you only had one more week of his long hair. 

“I love your curls so much, please never cut them.” 

“I will absolutely cut them.” 

“One more week?” 

“You’re pushing it.” 

“For me?” 

“In that case, one more week.” 

“Thank you, babe.” 

You press a delicate kiss to his cheek and shiver slightly. 

“Can I have a kiss before I go?” 

He gives in, and it’s a nice kiss. You both lean in for a while before a sharp chill runs up your spine, you then decide it’s time to curl under his sheets and wait for him to come warm you up entirely. 

“I’m leaving, it’s cold.” 

You press his mask into his chest and lean in for one more kiss. 

“See you later.” 

“Wait! Can you take my bag?” He holds it out with a pleading smile, you tug it into your chest and contemplate tugging out his jacket and wrapping it around you. You could take the subway but despite the nips of cold you felt like walking, maybe so Peter knows you’ve gotten home safe. 

“Can I open it for your coat?” 

He said there was something in it you weren’t supposed to see yet, you would respect that. 

“Yeah, just please don’t go poking around the outside zipper.” 

“Got it, see you later!” 

You turned to leave, he called after you. 

“Bye, baby! Love you.” 

You didn’t think, it was automatic.

“Love you too!” 

You didn’t process what you said, it felt like second nature. 

Peter felt like he couldn’t breathe, he felt warm from inside out. From this point on nothing would get him down, the girl he loved with all his heart, the same girl that was hurt by him still loves him. He assumes he’s done it right, he finally thinks he may have won you back. 

You told Peter you wanted to talk, then said you loved him. 

Peter thinks he’s going to be a boyfriend before midnight hits. 

—------------------------

Time was ticking, you and Peter had been getting back into normal behavior, it felt as real as it did before the break up. And honestly, you kind of see it as a blessing. You don’t think you would’ve realized how much you mean to yourself if that’s all you didn’t have after he ended it. 

It hurt, alot. No one talks about how physical break ups can feel, you feel them in your gut. Stomach twisting at every end, like a small man is twisting knots in your intestines.  Then in your chest, the worst kind of heartburn alive eats at you, red searing hot pain that bleeds down through your body. It feels like every heart string is being pulled and snapped with each release. It affects your senses too, nothing sounds or tastes good anymore, at least not when Peter didn’t make or suggest it. Your eyes felt like there was nothing to focus on, your ears felt clogged, no one's words meant anything unless they were coming from Peter. You felt numb to the touch, so cold all the time, no one to warm you.

Heartbreak is something you would truly never wish on your worst enemy. 

But now, everything tastes just a little bit better. And your heart still hurts some, but it’s because it beats a bit faster when Peter’s around. And your stomach wasn’t filled with knots but flutters, not nerves but excitement. Your ears came attuned to listen for Peter’s hums or muffled songs under his breath, you listen for his late night whispers about what the writer’s should’ve done for that episode, or you listen to him lightly snore in the quiet hum of his room in the middle of the night because he’s there, and you’re there. And you’re not so cold anymore, chills still happen but it’s no longer a to the bone chill. It’s a, this is chilly, but I have someone to warm me backup at home. 

Peter felt like a constant hug. 

You’re pretty sure that’s love.

And if you loved him he should be your boyfriend, but to be your boyfriend again he needs to explain why it ended. You were slowly breaking down that wall, you’ve asked yourself for weeks now if it was that important, but you know it is. Because, why else have you held out so long?  

You don’t think in your heart everything could be forgiven without the why. 

That’s why you were here tonight. 

Peter came in around eight, for a moment you think he forgot you were here. He entered through the window, because you had his key. Then immediately ripped his mask off, slammed the button on his chest and kicked the suit away before groaning and stretched to the ceiling. 

“Hello, Clarise.” 

He jumped then smiled, “Hi, baby!” 

Peter looked over at you swaddled in his bed, now sitting his dark blue comforter swarming your body. Cheeks tinted due to the warmth but you refused to move, choosing to instead take sips of water from the bottle on his nightstand. 

“Good nap?” 

You hum and copy his stretch, “So good, did I get you those boxers?” You think they were a just thinking of you gift, they had little calculators on them. 

He looks down, “I think so, what did you do today, little miss?” 

You yawn, still blinking the sleep away. “I used your laptop for Netflix.” 

“Please don’t tell me you used my account.” 

“Of course I did, what’s yours is mine.” 

“You always mess up my recommendations, I just got it off of reality tv.” 

“And now it’s back.” 

Peter just blinked blankly at you. 

“I think it’s cute that you still had the passcode set to my birthday.” 

“Of course I did, they’re the only numbers burned into my brain.” 

“If you changed it I think I would’ve lost it, I mean full blown cry.” 

“Nope, if I got a new girlfriend I would have to come up with some cover story for that.” 

“You would let other girls use your Netflix?” You pout and wobble your lip. 

“I let you, don’t I?” Peter walks around the room and grabs his towel hanging on the other side of his closet door. 

“Well, yeah. But I’m special.” 

“If it makes you feel better, you would always be the one that got away. No girl could live up to that.” He shrugs and throws his towel over his shoulder. 

“And you would have to die alone?” 

“I would have to die alone.” 

“No other option?” 

“None.” 

You turn your head and nod, he’s great at winning the boyfriend tests. 

“Shower?” You nod at the towel, he starts to make his way to the bedroom door. 

“We can get food after, you decide.” 

“Cook, take out, or dine in?” 

“You choose.” He grins at you and turns to head to the bathroom.

“My choice?” You call after. 

“Yours.” 

You wait until you hear the shower start, then throw off the blankets and race down the hallway.

“I’m choosing a shower with Peter!” 

—-------------------------------------------

I wish it didn't make me cut it off here, don't worry, final part is coming!

[bratpak]

FLORIAN SANICO is the young, hot, and not rich CEO of ACIDIC RECORDS. He only acquired Acidic Records after his stepfather's passing in 2020. Being born in the Philippines in 1988 to a single mom, Florian grew up primarily raised by his grandparents until his mom found her future husband when Florian was just seven years old. Florian's stepfather would embody the term "the father that stepped up," immediately taking on the father role in Florian's life that the little boy so desperately wanted. When he was ten years old, Florian's father, a South Korean man, would relocate the family to South Korea for his work and to provide a better life for them, which he most certainly did. While in South Korea, Florian would attend the most expensive international school and the most prestigious universities there, obtaining degrees in business management, marketing, psychology, and international business.

Money has never been an issue for Florian if you can't tell.

Acidic Records was a mere side quest for his father, only housing underground indie soloists and producers. They never did anything noteworthy until Florian was appointed CEO in 2020, immediately opening auditions for their training program. Florian has always believed KPOP was where the money was, and his father was just too old to handle the times.

He was...almost right!

With the debut of BRATPACK in 2022, Florian found it much more difficult to break into the KPOP market than planned, initially losing a lot of money in the BRATPACK venture. However, with the group's rapidly rising success and album sales, Florian might not be such a failure after all.

ALMANDA SUMMERS is the alias of the creative director of BRATPACK. No one knows who she is or has ever seen her face. No one can find anything about this woman; seriously, she is a mystery.

Besides her Twitter account.

Almanda, believed to be a woman in her late twenties, is very active on Twitter and Instagram, often posting pictures of her visions for the group and commenting on recent events in the KPOP realm. Though she is quite loved by the fandom, some people believe she is an instigator and gets BRATPACK into drama they would've never gotten into if Almanda just turned her phone off.

Either way, her constantly running mouth doesn't derail her from being one of the most known and sought-after creative directors in KPOP at the moment. Bringing forth aesthetics and ideas the genre has never seen before or has left untouched for too long in her opinion, Almanda is an icon and legend in the making.

TONYA FUKUI is a former African-American—Japanese supermodel whose career was cut short due to a cheating scandal that had her dubbed "Japan's Hottest Homewrecker " for well over a decade now. Though her modeling career was done, she went behind the scenes and started working as a stylist for high-end clients, turned Jpop acts, and turned Kpop acts. Truly, she was just chasing where the money went to fund her purse addiction.

Tonya has worked with groups such as AESPA, NCT 127, NCT DREAM, RED VELVET, SHINEE, EXO, GOT7, STRAYKIDS, NMIXX, BLACKPINK, and many, many more. If you liked an outfit your favorite idol wore, Tonya most likely designed it for them.

Now, she primarily spends her time styling BRATPACK as she claims they let her be as creative as she wants. After years of being a punching bag for the general public, Tonya is finally adored again, mainly just people on BRATPACK Twitter, but hey! It's a start.

AUGUSTUS MOON is the main producer of BRATPACK. He began working in the KPOP industry at just seventeen years old when he and his sister, Autumn Moon, fled America and went to South Korea to get away from their abusive parents. Though Augustus has had some solo releases himself and has garnered a small following, he much prefers sticking behind the scenes as he says, "KPOP is not for me. I hate dancing." even though his Tiktok page will contradict that statement.

Augustus was born in 1995 in Chicago. He doesn't speak much about his time in America, deeming it "a test on if he really wanted to live or not" and saying his life only really started when he moved to South Korea and started making music.

Before exclusively working with Acidic Records and BRATPACK, Augustus would work with a wide variety of KPOP acts and make an even wider variety of songs. Some are phenomenal, and some are the worst things you've ever heard. Not every track can be a winner!

AUTUMN MOON is the main producer of BRATPACK and a part-time soloist. At sixteen, she fled America with her brother and moved to South Korea to get away from her abusive parents. Autumn and Augustus are glued at the hip. You'd swear they're twins by how in sync they are with one another.

Unlike her brother, Autumn is a soloist as well as a producer. However, she has seemingly put her own music career on the back burner to focus on BRATPACK and motherhood. That's right! Actual mother! Autumn has a nine-year-old son, Eunji, who she adores and loves dearly. She married her long-time boyfriend and ISSAYAH member, Suh Jaehyun, last summer and is currently pregnant with their first child.

Autumn has been very open about her love for music and how happy working with BRATPACK makes her. Between her very fulfilling personal life and flourishing career, Autumn has attracted her own fanbase, calling her "Life Goals" and starting the trend of autumnism, where people try to live their lives like Autumn's.

Though her solo career, which only caught her attention once she decided to hang it up, has been put on halt, Autumn is very happy with where she is in life and adds a layer of hope to the BRATPACK team.

[716chr]

“WE ARE M・T・T・B” - Chapter 3

📍 HAMA House - Practice Room

Muneuji: …..Even though I’m doing the dance moves, my movements feel stiff and forced.

Chihiro: (Munecchi’s self-assessment is spot on, he’s moving too stiffly. …..The way he moves feels more like he’s taking a martial arts stance rather than dancing….)

Toi: Huff, huff….

Chihiro: (And Tonya is panting heavily right now. He’s trying to perfectly copy my dance moves, but it’s clear that he’s struggling to keep up.)

Kiroku: ……。

Chihiro: (Kirokkuma’s got great athleticism, but his delicate, shy nature is making him hunch over and that’s holding him back. So he’s not at his full potential right now.)

Chihiro: (Oh no! I’m slipping into producer mode again! That’s the last thing we need in this situation!)

Ten: ……。

Chihiro: C’mon~, no sad faces, guys! Dancing is supposed to be fun ♪ It’s totally normal not to get it right away ♪

Muneuji - Toi - Kiroku: ……..!

Chihiro: No need to worry! Ten-cham and Chii will teach you, so just relax! Let’s all have fun and stay hyped and pumped~!

Ten: Oh, guess I’m teaching them too now.

Toi: Chii-sama……

Kiroku: ……。

Muneuji: ……Can I say something?

Chihiro: Hm~? Wuzzup wuzzup?

Muneuji: We’re pretty much at a lower skill level right now.

Muneuji: I understand it’s not my place to speak on this, but you must have noticed the same thing too when you look at how we perform.

Muneuji: Enjoying ourselves is important, but could you point out what we’re doing wrong? We need clear guidance and criticism.

Chihiro: Hmm~, well….. Aren’t you guys being a lil bit too hard on yourselves?

Chihiro: There’s nothing wrong with your techniques~! You’re all improving bit by bit, and you’re giving your best!

Muneuji - Toi - Kiroku: ……..

Chihiro: (……Man. Somehow everyone still looks unconvinced. Hnnnghhh, if this goes on, it might kill the vibe and things will head into THAT direction…..)

Chihiro: It’s still early, but let’s call it a day for now! You can’t dance well when you’re all stressed out!

Ten: Agreed~ No complaints here~

Chihiro: Ah geez, suddenly Chii’s in the mood for some munchies~ Anyone wanna go grab a bite from the convenience store~?

Muneuji: I’m sorry, but I think I’ll pass....

Kiroku: Oh, I’ll….. keep practicing a bit more….

Toi: M-Me too….! So maybe next time….!

📍 HAMA Downtown

Ten: Hm, this new ice cream flavor is a winner~. I’ll get it again next time.

Chihiro: ……。

Ten: You bought a lot, gonna eat all that yourself?

Chihiro: Oh, this is for the others…..

Ten: That serious, huh?

Chihiro: Wouldn’t say it's that serious…..

Mama Cat: Meow.

Kitty: Mew.

Chihiro: Ah, good after-meow.

Ten: A stray?

Chihiro: These lil fellas have been hangin’ around here a lot lately. They’re pretty friendly.

Ten: Ah~, in that case, I might know one of them too.

Chihiro: …..Hey there Mama Meowster, you gonna let me pet you today too~?

Mama Cat: Meow meow.

Kitty: Purr purr~

Chihiro: Hehe, even Meowster Jr. wants some petting too? You guys are so adorbs.

Ten: Mm, yeah.

Chihiro: ……。

Chihiro: (Those 3 looked so down….. It’s all my fault, isn’t it?)

Chihiro: (I thought that was the best way to respond earlier, but….)

Chihiro: …….Guess that was a big oopsie~

Ten: ？

Chihiro: (I do have my fair share of concerns about their techniques, but if I start acting like a producer again and pointing my finger and giving them orders then——)

Chihiro: (Things might end up becoming awkward like what happened with the Evening Group back then. I want to avoid that as much as possible…..)

Ten: ……。

Ten: Well, it’s all good as long as we make good memories, right? No point in getting our panties in a twist. Isn’t the motto to “have fun~”? I think that sounds perfectly fine to me.

Chihiro: Ten-cham……

Ten: If you try to be strict with amateurs, you’ll just end up fighting. That’d be a huge pain in the ass and gonna get pretty awkward, right?

Chihiro: Fighting……

Chihiro: (That’s the last thing I want…..)

Chihiro: Hmm, you’re right. Everyone has different levels of motivation and drive when it comes to dancing

Ten: Yeah, you’ve got it.

Chihiro: Thanks, Ten-cham!

Ten: Haha, I don’t think I did anything special, but if you’re feeling better then we’re all good. Now that we’re over that, wanna head back?

Chihiro: Yep, let’s go~!