#transspecies problems

[wanderingcritter]

My daily schedule according to anti-kin mfs

3am: get up to aggressively bark and howl at the moon for 2 hours, waking all of my neighbors up in the process

6am: make myself a well rounded breakfast consisting exclusively of raw deer meat

6:30am: scream and cry for half an hour because my mom is forcing me to go to school and wolves CLEARLY do not go to school. my life is hell

7am: throw all of my deodorant in the trash because it blocks my natural 💫 𝓅𝒽ℯ𝓇ℯ𝓂ℴ𝓃ℯ𝓈💫

8am: arrive at school wearing my fav buttplug tail and galaxy wolf shirt

8:30am: have a vague memory of having graduated high school already, but that cant be true because no therian is older than 16 so here i am

9am: yell at my classmates for calling me a human and tell them that they're being therianphobic, and that im going to cancel them on twitter and make sure they never get jobs

9:30am: enter psychosis

10am: angrily email the school board for the 8th time this week because they won't put litter boxes in the bathrooms for me which is therianphobic oppression

10:30am: sit alone in a corner and growl/hiss at any humans who get too close to me

11am: enter psychosis

12pm: single handedly regress the trans rights movement by 10 years

1:30pm: refuse to sit in a chair for class and instead perch up on a desk. teacher threatens to kick me out, tragically i am forced to comply

2:30pm: cast a spell on one of my religious classmates as i leave school using my evil devil anti-human anti-christian magic

3pm: more raw deer meat omnomnomnom

5pm: enter psychosis

5:30pm: burn a picture of charles darwin in my trashcan because i hate all of that therianphonic science and biology nonsense. you can't tell me what to do CHARLES

6pm: enter psychosis

7pm: enter psychosis

8pm: i curl up in my nest of roadkill bones and sheets that haven't been washed in 3 months and gently fall asleep <3

[falconthropy]

Damn.... I really want to use the term transspecies to describe myself, but something is pulling me away from it.

I identify as an animal, I am that animal. I wish to look like one to other people. The experience is there.

but somehow I can't. I am really overwhelmed by all the possible labels.., sometimes I just straight up say "I am an X" because I have no idea how to describe my identity anymore.

The other thing that makes me worry are my irls. Most of them know about my nonhumanity, but don't know the harsh side. they have never seen me in my wild state. they have never seen me shout. or bark... I sometimes just can't express myself. I hide because I am simply scared. (Unless I end up just embarrassing myself and shittt.)

Some of my irl friends are trans too, and I'm worried to potentially offend them, since i don't know what they would think of the transpecies term. Although I really love my supportive friends who already try their best to accept me, but at times I want some of my experiences to be more "normalized"...

I wonder if someone feels the same too

[piratesparrotdragon]

will you still love me when you find out I am an insane dragon that's constantly on the verge of rampaging a village every time I start spiraling out of sheer lack of self esteem

[cotta-dog]

I see a lot of posts about being more "kinlike" and about things to end physical (species) dysphoria. While it isn't exactly my experience, I would love to say that I am actually more bothered by the way people perceive me (a human) than by my own body.

I can summarize it to "being holothere-y/holothere-like"; the way I see myself in the mirror. My face feels weird a lot of times, but the rest of my body just isn't human in any way and I am completly aware that I am a dog and this is a dog's body. Tbh, I don't have much problems with it — actually, I really like it and it feels good to remind myself of that.

The real problem is the way people see me.

I am not human and any nonhuman being (for me, there is no difference between a "physically identifiable" [animals, plants, objects etc] and a "physically unidentifiable" [...animals, plants, objects etc that SEEM like they are human] nonhuman and both...) could easily tell the difference between me and a regular human. Or a human. I'm not one, in any way at all.

I feel trapped in the way other people around me see and treat me.

I hate wearing clothes and shoes, having to interact with people, having to study almost 24/7 about topics I don't care about; I hate pretending I am human, and whenever I hear some generalist speech like "us, humans" or "we as a society" or even "like the sentient people that we are, differently from animals", I feel dysphoric.

I feel like my body isn't enough. Like my identity and all the signs I show and tell them...

I feel like it isn't enough at all.

I am not dysphoric by my body. I love it. I love my fur, my paws, my ears and all parts of it. I like seeing my body and I am proud of having a body like this...

I just wish people could see it the way I see it.

[moon-pool-fish]

I have been searching far and wide for a mermaid tail that fits me. The reason is because my mertype is sorta confusing. All my requirements are literally being a mermaid, no type of animal, no feeling connected to a certain color, no nothing. The saddest part is that I want to base my wardrobe and even dye my hair the same color as my tail. But I'm having a little problem...

And yes... this is the problem. I'm in between the 2. I want a tail that is the same color as me because i want to feel and appear more non-human by having it match my skin tone. The one on the right is the closest. But I really like the left one, which I'm sorta considering tanning my skin. AND DONT WORRY - My human race is fully Black (African American), I'm just light-skinned.

Tad bit off topic, I've seen a post about wanting to combat colorism and people bleaching their skin by basically tanning themselves. So I'm basically killing 2 birds with 1 stone. Cause colorism is stupid.

[failingatlifespectacularly]

i am, @ this point, like fully determined 2 come back 2 school looking significantly more like myself, 2 the best of my abilities anyways. I, however, have some problems.

I'm a minor and I still have braces, most of the things I want 2 do can't be done till I'm legally an adult and get my braces off

I want 2 cut my hair, I rly hate the way my face looks rn, and I think maybe changing my hair might help with that. The problem with that is, I'm fucking terrified that if I cut it 2 short I'll end up hating it and won't be able 2 grow it back 4 a long time

If I try 2 socially transition my sister will find out, I honestly don't give a shit abt the people @ my school knowing, they were going 2 find out eventually, but I rly don't want her 2 say or do any abt this. So, I could do a few things: I could just wait until 1 of us moves out, which honestly might kill me. I could fully socially transition but just. not let her know, but that's thrusting the responsibility of keeping that from her on every1 else, and she'll find out eventually. I could let her know but set strict boundaries with her, which hasn't worked in the past. Or, u know, Ishe could just fix my relationship with her, but that's abt as likely 2 happen as her moving out.

HOW THE FUCK DO U SOCIALLY TRANSITION???

[xxtko-rulezzxx]

I love having what feels like a never-ending, ever expanding list of things wrong with me!

[wanderingcritter]

Im gonna say smth that a lot of yall aren't gonna like but whatever Im tired of nobody talking about it.

The therian community's obsession with zoos is stunting a lot of the cultural growth that we could be having rn.

Soooo many of us are so goddamn busy with trying to prove that we're not zoos or accusing each other of being zoos or shouting from every rooftop available that we're different than zoos, when we could be doing so many more productive things.

You wanna keep potentially dangerous individuals out of the community, I understand that, really I do. But do you wanna know how many animals are saved from abuse by us dogpiling (no pun intended) on someone who incorporates their nonhumanity into kink? Or who speaks honestly about genitalia dysphoria, or instincts to court members of the species they identify as? Or hell, who even acknowledges that there is an overlap between therianthropy and zoo attraction? Zero.

It doesn't really protect anyone, all it does is prevent us from speaking honestly about our experiences, diving into the nitty gritty of what it actually means to be an animal living as and among humans, out of fear that something we told to someone in confidence is going to end up in a google doc next week. No, wanting to have nonhuman body parts does not automatically make you attracted to biological animals. No, being attracted to alterhumans over humans does not automatically make you attracted to biological animals. No, wishing you had a nonhuman family does not automatically make you attracted to biological animals. The only thing that makes you attracted to biological animals is being attracted to biological animals. It truly is not rocket science.

I haven't seen it be as much of an issue here on Tumblr because I guess there's overall less mob mentality and beings are more capable of using critical thinking skills, it's just been frustrating watching so many of the younger/newer members of the community turn into the "crucify zoos at any and all costs" club and trying to strong arm all forms of animalistic sexual expression out of the community to avoid any possible association with zoos from outsiders (spoiler alert: you could sanitize the entire community to the point of chemical burns and uneducated doorknobs would still swear up and down that every last one of us are zoos)

[mechanical-sunchild]

Theriform FAQ

The aim of this post is to answer the questions brought up by my coining of, and some of the community's usage of, the term 'theriform'. Hopefully it will address everything, but if you have a new question feel free to comment and I'll add it after.

Is there a coining post for this term?

Yes, here. You can also access other bits of information via my tag for it.

Does this term have a flag or symbol?

No, as a term which exists to describe what kind of animal an animal is, it doesn't need to represented like an identity term. The only spinoff term which might benefit from one should someone feel like it is theriformic (see below). Please do not use it for yourself as a microlabel.

Can you simplify your definition for me?

Theriform is a word which can be used to describe a kind of animal. In order to count as theriform an animal must;

- Look like a typical member of it's species to everyone

- Have the level of sentience typical of it's species

- Have never grown up being seen as and treated as a member of the human species and/or believing itself human

- Experience no changes in behaviour/abilities/psychological function due to being made to live a humans life/live as human

Failure to meet all of these criteria 98% of the time means that theriform does not apply - except in circumstances where any of the points but especially the last two are not met for unnatural reasons (such as theriform nonhuman primates being treated as human and made to live a human-like life and experiencing behaviour changes because of it) and thus were previously met, are temporarily not met and the other criteria is met.

It is made to replace the word 'biological' in the phrase 'therians and biological animals' and similar, but is not a synonym for biological. See below.

Are humans theriform?

Humans are not theriform as this is a nonhuman community only term. In the same way that a human who identifies only as human is not a therian.

The term orthohuman (not my creation) may be what you're looking for if you're looking for something to mean 'a human, but not an alterhuman'.

What do you mean by looks like a typical member of it's species?

An animal that if anyone, nonhumans and humans alike, were given a picture of would point and go 'that's a [animal]'. An animal whose picture would be used to illustrate 'this is what this looks like' in applicable places (like wikis, or scientific research). An animal whose shape is what people think of when thinking of that animal.

What do you mean by 'level of sentience typical of it's species'?

What it says on the tin actually. This does not mean 'below human level' necessarily though, as some creatures such as dragons may be typically as sentient if not more than humans and this still counts.

What do you mean by behaviour and psychological changes?

Living in a human domicile, wearing clothes, walking bipedally if a quadraped, speaking/utilising a human language with full understanding of such, vegetarian/vegan lifestyles based on ethics, having ethics based on human morals to begin with, enjoying activities made for and by humans, human-like sexuality and gender expressions etc

What is the purpose/origin of this term?

As someone who is physically nonhuman and generally conscious of species-invalidating language, I struggled to find a word that allowed me to discuss certain subjects (outlined below) without using said invalidating language. Previously I'd see people use 'real', 'biological', 'physical' and 'non-therian'. I found that each of these had their own problems, most being invalidating and the last being clunky (though not unusable).

It can be and was intended to be used in these and similar circumstances;

Talks about animal welfare

Talking about the 'human' rights of alter/nonhumans despite their nonhuman species

Talks about animal husbandry

Talking about pets

Transspecies transition goals

Discussing differences between the self and others of your species who are theriform

Differentiation between theriform and other kinds of animals in topics which contain both, or one in particular and it's important for the topic to know which

It is not to be used to in these ways/to mean these things or similar;

The animal is biologically their species whilst a therian/nonhuman never is

The animal is really their species, whilst a therian/nonhuman is not

There is some kind of hierarchy where theriforms are above any other kind of animal

'An animal which was born as an animal' whereas a therian never is

What if I'm not an animal and want a word to mean the same thing as theriform?

Feel free to add a different prefix and run with it! Floraform, voidform, deiform etc

How is this term inclusive of physical nonhumans/CLCZ/endels when it's dividing members of our species based on biology?

In terms of physical nonhumans, note that the definition does not say that a theriform is biologically an animal - only that it is observed by others to look like what is expected for a member of it's species.

In terms of CLCZ and Endels, this is why a full definition must be met.

Acceptence that animals can look differently and even act differently and still the members of the same species, is, I think, vital for the progression of nonhumanity as a serious identity/concept. Ignoring differences and refusal to put a word to them gets us nowhere - for example, despite being a physically your species you may not be able to process the same foods as a theriform and process many foods which a theriform cannot. This is a biological difference, but not one which makes you less biologically your species, just wired differently.

But isn't this just the same as saying 'biological animal'?

No, the phrase 'biological animal' must, if one is aiming to be inclusive include physical nonhumans. Therefore to diffentiate between a biological nonhuman (identity label) cat and your biologically nonhuman cat - both of which are cats on a biological level, you would need a different word. Enter - theriform.

I'm a delusional nonhuman of some kind and/I'm plural and/I'm transspecies and want to transition and-

If you're transspecies and wish to use this term when talking about transition goals, you may e.g. "In order to appear more theriform I want to-"

A nonhuman alter may in fact meet nearly or all except the first of the criteria for being theriform and even then, be observed by their system when in headspace as looking like a typical member of their species. In a similar way, depending on your condition, you may have a delusion which changes your physical or mental aspects to those more typical of your species but once more cannot be observed by others to be so and may experience flux in which this state is not always permenant. In this case, the word would be theriformic, as in 'like a theriform' but not technically one.

Isn't this just another binary to force people into (like AGAB)?

The intention of theriform is to describe, though I give people the leniency to use it as a noun. I intend it more like a...category. Like saying 'binary and non-binary'.

AGAB was invented to give intersex people a way to describe their lived experiences, and was misused and turned into a rigid binary later. In the same way I hope this won't happen to theriform, though people love to change the meanings of words (not just in this community) and it will remain a tool to allow experiences to be expressed more accurately.

It's also an optional term. I don't care if you don't use it, I just hope you don't differentiate between therians and theriforms by saying 'therians and bio animals' as this excludes physical nonhumans.

I'm physically nonhuman/CLCZ/an Endel and this term makes me dysphoric/uncomfortable.

There is no requirement for you to use it, or talk to those who do. This is an optional term. You can blacklist the term and use whatever else you prefer.

I just ask that you don't spread the idea that this term does not include physical nonhumans and similar when it does by default, or come up with reasons that it's 'problematic' in other ways. I'd much rather we personally talked about it, or you moved on about your day and just didn't pick up the newest community word. We don't need reasons to dislike a word, we just can dislike it.

Some transgender people dislike the terms transgender and cisgender because it makes them feel othered from their gender - but the terms transgender and cisgender remain useful and usable despite personal discomfort for some and don't actually indicate that person lacks any realness to their gender.

Please apply that same logic to theriform. Incidentally -

So it's like cisgender/AGAB, but for therians?

Even though I'm guilty of it myself, I'd rather this not be compared to gender as I don't think species and gender can be accurately compared.

I also dislike the use of AGAB to mean 'born as', as the original meaning for the intersex community does not support that and I do not condone it's comparison here either positively or negatively.

A theriform is not forcefully assigned a species the way an intersex infant is assigned a gender, it is simply assessed as a member of that species through meeting the accepted visual and psychological criteria.

I dislike how the definition uses human perspectives to indicate what counts as theriform.

I don't know what to tell you, it's impossible to avoid this. At least, for me. Feel free to coin a term which avoids this if you can.

Can I link you in posts creating discourse about this subject or when people misuse the term?

If you're the one with the issues, please just talk to me directly. If it's others, please do not. But feel free to link them this post or politely correct any misinformation, thank you!

[piratesparrotdragon]

I swing so violently from enjoying my time as a dragon to hating myself for being a dragon 😭 seriously. I'm not enjoying it rn. I'm feeling more like maybe I could live as a human if the society was so jacked up. but that's just because of my gender envy from earlier yk? gender envy and unhappiness are the only things that make me feel more human and that sucks.

cause then I get reverse dysphoria and feel seriously unhappy with my state of being a dragon. eventually, this goes away, but it's painful while it lasts. idk if this is just BPD shenanigans or what...

and the crazy part is that it just turns around and back into me hating being human again, cause i know this mental discomfort is literally caused by the human parts of myself, not the draconic parts of me. dysphoria on top of dysphoria on top of dysphoria... :((((((

[courtkossai]

so maybe have some thoughts still about recent transspecies and species transition discussions ... 

first , some folks first exposure to idea of species transition was as post game - come up with some hypothetical ideas of what might feel more species , and later , ask others to come up with ideas . to learn about concept through trend is not bad in and of self , but this did become frustration for some community members who feel now more difficult to discuss with each other , and instead have to turn attention to influx of new folks that ask for ideas from community , rather than personally evaluate . one thing to ask if specific goal might be achievable , but some of these folks ask for whole lists of ideas to join in with game . 

yes , some community members come away with feeling that others treat identity as fun hypothetical , rather than legitimate experience and framework .

second , there is difference in how people treat temporary and permanent changes , as well as subtle changes and bold ones . of course one might choose to always wear removable tail in every situation , or to always use animalistic body language in social life - these things can be temporary to some , but permanent change is not necessarily just surgical body modification . regardless , permanence and especially boldness can cause bigger problems in life , just by ever-present nature . this can include higher surveillance and profile , harassment and injury , intensely negative and sanist perceptions , and loss of opportunities . 

yes , some community members come away with feeling that not everyone understand potential gravity and impacts of transspecies identity , or of species transition .

third , body modifications that do specifically and intentionally break ideas of humanity - as oppose to more conventional types of piercings or tattoos - might not always be legal in given area , whether for societal abnormality , potential medical complications , or otherwise . medical practitioners who can give anaesthesia might not have legal right to perform , and body modification practitioners might not have legal right to give anaesthesia . one would have to choose which pain is more bearable - mental pain of lack modification , or physical pain of pursue modification . that in self can increase risk of surgical complications and injuries , and possible long term impacts on chronic pain and illness . 

yes , some community members come away with feeling that not everyone understand legitimate physical impacts and safety concerns in certain modifications .

for kossai thoughts on definitions ... do all species transition need to have physical components ? no - can just as much make changes in behaviour , social presentation , and internal mindsets and world views . 

then , is transspecies identity always inherently about transition of any kind ? would still say no - some folks have other reasons , as this is historical label with multiple interpretations over time . some find apt comparison or intertwine with journeys of gender , some feel plurality factor in , some just find more comfort . 

but in any case , whatever thoughts might be on definitions of transspecies and species transition , think most important to understand these feelings that would prompt some to want change in first place . yet at height of this , some folks send OP of this discussion cruelty , harassment , and death threats , under assertion that this was just " transmedicalism for otherkin " - even those who did not truly read original discussion , or understand these points of context .

that is not fair or just way to treat anyone , and most certainly will not make anyone agree with points .

[youngprinceartisan]

hi. just call me artisan. im curious about radqueers, in regular circumstances i'd be against you fellows but honestly maybe I could hear you out.

im what you'd call cisautistic, quoigenic cisplural and (most likely) ciscluster-b. I am also transspecies (a term I associate more with alterhumanity than transids), transgender, and anti-c pro-para as one of our sys members is a non-disordered paraphile. also pro-endogenic if it wasnt clear by us being quoigenic.

i know atypical dysphoria and such is a thing, I experience it myself as a transspecies dragon, but also often finding myself wanting 'worse' trauma than I already have gone through, even though I perfectly understand that would only worsen my mental health and cause a plethora of problems and also even if others have had it worse I am just as valid a survivor, so in a way i empathize with transharmed folk.

as for specifically some other transids, I am confused about them. transabled for instance, BIID I get it but otherwise I find it quite odd, as bodily disabled folk (as I've heard) find this to belittle their struggles; getting diagnosed, getting treatment, trying to function. however, ive done quite some thinking on my own as a creature on the autism disorder. me, personally, I cannot truly and sincerely bring myself to care about transautistics as a "threat" to the autistic community. i find that ableist people are way more a concern. i struggle with sensory overload, some verbal issues, and i am a major stimmer. and, again, i cannot really bring myself to care about people wanting those symptoms, with all the bad that comes, or even with just the good "cutesy" stuff.

wanting-to-be-another-race also comes to mind (won't be using the term transrace as that belongs to adoptees). i would also bring up me being bodily latino, but for one i literally cannot give two fucks about my race and two, i live in south america and thus everyone is a latino, so there really isnt any racism against us and thus i don't have the experience to speak about the topic. i honestly wonder if there's any folks bodily of oppressed races willing to explain and defend this one to me. transnationality to me would basically be same situation to me as transautistic is: can't care about someone wanting to be of my country and learn my language and stuff.

transharmful is also something i wonder about. how do you approach the possibility of transitioning? if it's something similar to BDSM as in both parties are consenting and such then it's alright by me frankly.

[mint-and-authoress]

Slime HRT - Progress Report II

<<| ⏯️ |>>

[The video opens with a familiar bedroom setup from previous recordings. In the top right corner a timestamp of ‘10 Weeks’ is shown.]

“Okay, ten weeks. We’re ten freaking weeks into this. I’m honestly really excited for this update actually because…”

[Elise stands back a few feet and rolls up her sleeves to reveal her arms. The skin has shifted from translucent to transparent, and the musculature is present underneath, a mix of bluish-gray and red.]

“Skin’s gone! …Well, not gone gone, but it’s totally cleared up! It’s all see-through now, and that means the muscle’s gonna go next. Which I’m a little nervous about.

“Yeah… that last bit at the end of the first video was my dad kinda outing me on his own because I didn’t have a chance to cover up. And that’s kinda led to this Transspecies Cold War that I’ve been forced to take part in for like… 3 weeks now? Luckily my mother is oblivious to all this so I’ve managed to skirt around that volcanic eruption. Dad hasn’t said a word to me, though, which is a bit weird, but I’m honestly fine with not talking to him. Freeing, in a sense.

“Anyway, important things first! In terms of my transition timeline, I’m actually a little ahead of schedule! Which, don’t get me wrong, it’s really exciting to experience this stuff and confirm it’s all really happening, but also kinda puts a bit of a wrench into my plans. Some gunk in the cogs, I don’t know. I’ve been trying to use more slime puns, but I’m not sure if it’s for me.”

[Elise stares off for a second before snapping back to reality.]

“...Right, the wrench. Problem. Whatever it was. Right, my job! I’m a bit worried about how long I’ll be able to keep working, seeing as though I’m gonna basically have muscular dystrophy advancing throughout my body at a rapid rate. I don’t do a ton of heavy lifting, at most I’d struggle with lifting mannequins but we barely do that. Mostly just hanging clothes and gettin stuff hung up.

“My skin, or my surface now, I guess, is a bit stickier now? From what I can tell, the surface is just a slime’s version of skin; all the goop you’d imagine just comes from underneath to gather sensory input. I guess that hasn’t happened yet because 1) I don’t have that goop yet–the goop that’ll come from all my muscles, I mean–and 2) I still have a human’s nervous system so I can still touch and understand that feeling.

“So far so good, though. No more skin, no more breakouts. Hopefully the muscles are just as cooperative.”

[The segment ends. The next segment fades in and Elise looks notably different. Her hair is gone and has been replaced with a shorter ‘haircut’ made entirely from slime. She wears a t-shirt and long pants. Elise’s surface is still clear but most of the muscle underneath is also gone, the little remaining still in small patches dotted across her body. Her face is also completely eroded away, all that remains is the skull, eyes, and the inner workings of her ears. The slime that makes up Elise’s body is now tinted green. The timestamp reads ‘5 Months.’]

“This is my entry at 5 months during transition. Holy Hell it has been a rough one. As you can see…”

[Elise slowly stands and orients the camera to face multiple parts of the bedroom, most of which has been compartmentalised and/or boxed up. She finally turns the camera to face her once more in the usual shot.]

“I am ready to get out. In fact, I’m actually headed out tomorrow morning to go live with my partner out west. Out in the wilderness, surrounded by nature. First things first, though. I gotta unpack these last months for y’all.”

[Elise starts to roll up her sleeves before seemingly forgetting that she is wearing a t-shirt, which she begins to fidget with.]

“Transition stuff first. Also sorry if I’m a bit spaced out, I’ve been a bit…well I guess I’ll just call myself out on it, I’ve been a bit airheaded recently. Doctors say it’s a side effect of the drugs, which of course it is. All in the name of science or something.

“I don’t want it to come across like I’m not happy; I’m fucking ecstatic and euphoric all the time. Life’s just been a lot lately.

“In terms of the muscular decomposition it actually kinda freaking hurts. Like when it started I just felt sore but over the course of a week somewhere around 14 weeks in I got barely any sleep. Turns out, acid dissolving you hurts pretty bad, actually. It got better when a majority of the muscle was gone but every now and again the body decides to get rid of more and unfortunately I can’t use any ibuprofen or painkillers because they inhibit some yeast growth and I just so happen to be made of the stuff nowadays.

“Also, on that note, no more caffeine, ever, apparently. Yeasts actually really don’t react well to caffeine so I’m really really glad I don’t drink coffee. No more Dr. Pepper hurts the soul, though. F in the chat for no more dr pepper.

“Also, hair. As in, no more hair, anywhere. I think they try to skirt around the fact that you will drop your hair as soon as the scalp becomes goop when they tell the trans girls about their transition. I think I would have screamed if I had the house to myself when I took that shower and my whole head felt very light. Luckily your body becomes very malleable when you take these drugs and after like four days of trying I figured out how to style my goop-hair. I’m usually covered from top to bottom in clothes to stay hidden, though, so I barely ever get the chance. And of course, since the hair is gone, my nails went around the same time. Been having to wear touchscreen gloves just to use my phone, and rubber gloves under those so I don’t seep through.

“Other changes… well, showering is pretty euphoric, honestly. Putting more water in the body kinda expands it in a way. Makes all the mass a bit sloshy but still workable if I don’t overdo it. Makes me all euphoric to have big ol tiddies whenever I want.

“I’m still able to eat normally, but I’ve started to actually digest with my slime. Lately my goal has been to taste without my tongue – which is also gone, mind you, just got lucky that I kept my tastebuds at least a little bit.”

[Elise stares off into the distance once again, seemingly lost in thought. After a moment she recollects herself and sits a bit taller.]

“Most of you have guessed by now that I’d get fired because of my transition, and yeah, that was last week. I warned my boss way in advance that I may slowly lose some physical function during transition but either she didn’t care to research my procedures or hated my guts anyway, either way I got canned for being unable to lift and perform my duties. It’s not so bad, lets me decompress and get ready to move.

“Yeah, I know, the move. Funny, you think I should have mentioned that first, or maybe a few months ago. Thing is, I had no idea I’d be moving out this early either. My transition is happening at an advanced rate for some reason and the doctors won’t be able to say before 6 months anyway so we’re all a bit in the dark about it.

“So last night I was invited to dinner with my parents. Not like an actual ‘going out to a restaurant’ dinner, no this was more like ‘Elise gets to cook and make her parents a nice meal and be forced to sit and talk about uncomfortable shit with them for at least an hour’ dinner. Lucky for them, I’m a bit of a pushover and I actually do like to cook so I made something nice.

“So, an hour and one stir fried chicken dish later, I’m sitting in the living room with my parents watching TV and absolutely trying to not shrink in on myself. That’s been an experience, let me tell you. I can just kinda ball up now if I want. Which I did not want to do considering I was still stealth from my mom.

“Of course, she has to ask how work is going and of course I had to unmask for just one insignificant second and reply that I was let go. There was a bit of a screaming match, and a ride to the hospital for my mother who legitimately had a heart attack from seeing her daughter’s skull and eyes suspended in a slightly green goop. Food colouring, by the way. Way cheaper than hair dye.

“Mom’s alright, she’s an addict so that’s what the doctors are focussed on now. Which unfortunately means that they have to deal with a whole bunch of bills and other lovely little things. Dad took me aside and made it abundantly clear that I was no longer welcome in their home. Hence, the boxes and suitcase that all hold the entirety of what I own.

“In better news, I’m gonna get an apartment with my love and we’ll be all okay by the end of the week. At some point I’m gonna also have to head into Hyper City again, check in with my doctors who all seem to have no idea why my transition is going so fucking fast all of a sudden. I mean, I was on schedule up until like that 7 weeks update and then everything went into like, I dunno, super puberty, and just shot way ahead.

“So, yeah…transition’s going great, just have to bear with all the other stuff that comes with it. I transitioned once, I can do it again. Stay strong, we’ll make it through together.”

[The scene fades to black as Elise reaches for the camera.]

}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{

We are so back. With the Biggest. Update. Ever.

Well, not Elise. She's actually going through it af

More slime time! This post's inspiration (imma keep doing this btw, I like giving shout outs to my humble base of 40 followers) comes from both @draconic-lesbian for constant and continuous love and species affirmation, and @reliablegal who somehow derived her own slime biology and affirmed most of what I found to be true :D

catch y'all later when Elise moves into a new place and totally nothing crazy happens~

[clownshifting]

Reclaiming Myself

I think myself reasonable. I believe me to be a beast with understanding.

Thought into word, word into action - that is who I am. I say I will and I do. I say I will, then I do. Thought into word, word into action.

Now, let me tell you this. When do you believe you will be crushed enough to step down? Not just from an argument, but from your own community - from a place you thought would be easy to fit into. How many times have you thought about leaving?

I do not have to think, thought into word, word into action. I am leaving the alterhuman, holothere, transspecies, or whatever community you wish to place me into. No, I do not tuck tail like I am a sore loser, no, no, no... I am hissing and I am screeching and I am clawing and I am ripping them out of my way because I know what I want and I am going to get it and no one is standing in my way. For they will not have the vigor to match the animal I am. The vengeance for which I raze their lives to the ground with, the magick on my hip stronger and embedded into my bloodline from generation to generation - each stacking hex and blessing upon those less fortunate to not wield magick.

I am not powerful nor am I a deity. I hoped I was in the beginning, that would explain my magick. I hoped I was sunkissed by godhood, explaining why I felt so alone. No - no - I was just in my head about how it would all go down, the delayed gratification of pondering and waiting in the weeds to strike. I have nothing against my allies or my benefitting partners, but I am turning my flank to their faces and I am hissing and I am reclaiming my territory as mine and you will not label me in a way that contrasts who I am by using your definition - a definition built upon metaphorical existences - against my pelt. No, how dare you.

I only used alterhuman as a way to include everyone, while that very term's people sought to exclude me. I helped found holothere alongside many others who wanted a hand in the creation. I called myself transspecies out of spite for those who didn't see my gender transition as entirely "realistic" enough. I was in shifter communities because I know deep down that I am a shapeshifter. But I cannot be there. I will not betray myself with labels that are being twisted to defy the label itself, to include but never differentiate. I cannot hold a label that serves no different than the others. They might as well be obsolete, blank slates to apply experiences onto.

But even then, I claim so and am seen as if I am reclaiming or taking labels from others. I bare my fangs and hiss. Then leave. I am not a brooding chimera for no reason, I am bulky and I am big and I am a challenge who keeps to himself. I am reasonable, yes, and I jest and bellow laughs, yes, but I am not someone who is to be talked or walked upon.

I'll be nice once, then, I won't.

I'll tally your mistreatments and express them to you once, and if you turn tail and never see my eye, it's because you won't have the chance to. I will always be nice once, then, I won't.

I no longer wish to engage in spces that treat every misunderstanding as an act of war. Where no one asks why they must fight but instead believe the word of their own as truth and begin to declaw and tear without diplomacy. You claim to be so better, with little failings unlike the humans, but make mistakes and create strife at the littlest problem. Reactionary beasts. Stubborn beasts. Humanity must have gotten you too. Or will you recognize that you are one in a single cycle, together, as animals, and not as enemies.

Past my rather blunt demeanor, I am a being of kind nature. I have put my money where my mouth is and I have paid family and friend and have supported goals and transitions. I have done much, I am not a bum online who sulks because some rat fuck had the wrong intrpretation of my pelt. I do not care. What I care about is not expressing genuine want for conversation and spearing your neighbor for asking or proposing their feelings in an earnest way on a small blog. I am not betrayed or entitled to such treatment, I had simply thought better of a beast who's been here longer than I have. I had thought you smarter.

So I am leaving these communities and I am building my own; deviae.

I recognize some have already seen and heard of the term and know it's goal; awareness to deviatypal traits, transition, and physical beasthood. Most importantly, to replace sour language (altersex, salmacian, etc.)

I am deviae, I have deviatypal traits, I am a deviæ being. No longer will I obey by the rules of labeling myself by gender, sex identity, or species - but rather by my act against those and in spite of the conditinal human body, described only as such to benefit society by giving one personhood when they comply. No, I am a beast and I will act as one. Instinct is the only thing that makes me move and I will not hinder myself in the alterhuman community when those beside me don't even want me there.

I have fought for years to be included in alterhuman spaces and discussions, this year has taught me that none of you have changed, ever. I will be building my own spaces as a deviae beast, my own terms, my own opinions and feelings about my own plans and life. I recognize how my words and posts affect my mutuals and friends, yet I cannot sacrifice my own happiness in deviatypal expression in order to be nice to those who never liked what I am - physically transitioning, physically a beast, physically else. I cannot be myself while faithful to the alterhuman community, especially now where anything is an excuse to behead or strike arguments as the "less immature" one. I have grown past such fighting, I wish to become a better beast. And I will.

Deviae Links:

@deviae-culture-is

@deviae-support

[sophieinwonderland]

Re sandstorms-syscourse: "[insert thing here] makes a mockery of the queer/trans community" is a thing that has been said about any discourse topic you can imagine. Aphobes used to say that aspecs are a mockery of the queer community. Trumeds used to say that transgender people with little or no dysphoria are a mockery of the queer community. Assholes who can't accept the existence of mspec labels are saying that people who identify as bi lesbians or lesboys or what have you are making a mockery of the queer community, and they used to say the same thing about pansexuals. This is a shitty argument because it's basically meaningless. Like, I'm sorry you find it insulting that a group of people exist/identify in a way you disapprove of, but that's a you problem.

Moreover, it is not the job of queer people to make themselves more palatable to bigots in order to be accepted. The people who say "Oh I don't mind the gays, I just wish they wouldn't shove it down our throats" are not allies and pandering to them does not do anything to further queer acceptance. All that will actually accomplish is forcing people back into the closet.

Also, it is very strange to me where anti transIDs draw the line. Transspecies is okay. For some reason, that's not an issue. Saying "I don't want to get an autism diagnosis because it could impact my chances of getting gender affirming care, but I'm 99.9% sure I'm autistic" is fine. Saying "I support singlets who want to become plural" is contentious, but it won't usually get your blog terminated. Saying "I'm transrobot, transautistic, and I support transplurals" is grounds for being actually executed in cold blood. Make it make sense.

I've actually seen mixed opinions from anti-trans ID people about "transspecies." A lot of them seem against transspecies as a term too.

It kind of feels like there is a certain group of people who will claim to be okay with otherkin and alterhumans as long as they "stay in their lane" and don't use any label that would associate them with transgender people or the LGBT community.

[wanderingcritter]

Being a lesbian and nonhuman at the same time feels.. strange.

Because, like, human girls are these absolutely stunning, almost unreal beings. They're beautiful beyond words, the kind of beauty that can only ever be conveyed through the careful plucking of guitar strings, or through a vibrant splash of paint against barren canvases. They hold the stars in their eyes and flecks of gold in their hair, as if the forces of the cosmos themselves hand crafted their forms. They're soft and gentle and warm, but also strong and fierce and an unbelievable force to be reckoned with. Once when I was young, I got caught outside during a tropical hurricane and was almost lifted into the air by the winds; that is the closest thing I can compare to the feeling of falling for a girl. They are everything that a human being should be and more.

And then, there I am. A beast. This.. thing that stalks the woods in the darkest hours of the night, with dirt coated matted fur and piercing amber gaze, unseen and uncomprehended by man. Constant yearning, hunger. For flesh, for bloodlust, for isolation and freedom, to be feared, to be whispered about in hushed tales around a withering campfire. The creature in the forest, didn't you hear? If it catches you alone on a full moon it will peel your skin away from your body with fangs the size of your palms. Stay close. Your measly pocket knife won't do much in its wake I fear. A wild, snarling thing that flinches beneath humanity's touch and rejects their "civility" in favor of the murmuring creek that sings old and long forgotten hymns to the ancient mountains above.

I know when they look at me they see one of them, a human with soft skin and kind eyes, a human who smiles at them and perhaps offers a passing compliment, a human who always tries to coax the timid street cat and watchfully steps around sidewalk slugs. A human. But that is not what I am, at least not in the way that they are. And when I look back at them, with my green eyes that I wished glowed amber, I can't help but wonder "How could someone so divinely human find companionship with something so desperately unhuman as me? How long until you realize the humanoid body you see before you is merely a flawed disguise? Will you still grasp my hand with fond affection when it warps into a mangled paw?"