#trying to finally type up this backlog

[dduane]

The first part of that last message got me curious -- given how long-running of a series YW is, how do you keep track of All That when writing a new entry? Copious amounts of notes? Re-reading the entire series backlog? Keeping a fully-functioning simulation of the entire YW universe running in your head with perfect accuracy? (only mostly joking with that last one)

And somewhat-relatedly, did you have any plan or idea when you started for how long YW would run? Or was it more of a "I'll keep writing about this universe until it stops churning out ideas," type of thing and that point just (very thankfully!) hasn't happened yet? I know for per-book purposes you're a proponent of outlining (I swear I'll try writing to one one day Q_Q) but do you also apply that to a series as a whole?

Let me take this backwards, as it may make more sense that way.

Particularly when doing series work, outlining is more vital than usual for me. (Which is saying a lot.) Some of the most basic reasons for this are laid out over here.

The simplest one, though, for series outlining, is logistical. Without having achieved a sense well in advance of what events (or effects of events) are going to be most formative or important (or both) for the characters in a series, you won't have allowed yourself time to think about them enough. And to fail to spend enough time on this is to cheat both yourself and the books in the series. (And your readership.)

If you're smart, you learn very early on that attempting to save time by shortchanging or omitting the planning stages is potentially profoundly destructive. You need to have a plan... and you need not to let anyone make you ashamed of needing one. Putting off your detailed character-interaction and event planning in the name of some magically occurring fit of inspiration, or theoretical bid toward creative spontaneity, will serve neither you nor your creation. You can throw "Hail Mary" passes all you like... but you'd better be damn sure there'll be someone in the end zone to receive. ...If not Herself.

...And just in case you're worried, your initial plans can be really loose! They don't have to jump out of your head full-formed like some local war goddess after somebody hits her dad in the head with an axe. The plan for the Middle Kingdoms books—after The Door Into Fire dumped me gasping by the side of the road and left me a few minutes to breathe—was nothing more than "Now that his boyfriend's finally upped the ante beyond all expectations, Freelorn finally gets off his feckless Would-Be Robin Hood shit and gets to work becoming king." I then spent the next decade thinking purposefully about how that was going to happen, and writing the second book in the series—while sufficiently working out the fine details of the climax (and beyond) to then be able to get busy executing the third book. Even though there was a change of publishers between the beginning of that series and the end of it, the basic dead-simple MK plan from a very early stage quickly became detailed and robust enough (because the series was short enough) to withstand the change. Not least because I'd been thinking about it in a general way since the early 1970s... and continue to do so, pretty much daily. The Door Into Starlight is still hanging fire...

YW has been a different story—quite literally—because the only plan extant at the start of things was, "Everybody slowly gets older (and slowly closer)." I always knew there were going to be more than the original three: there was way too much interesting ground to cover to just stop with those. (I've never yet succeeded in finding out who started the rumor that there were only going to be three books. Over time it's become one of those things you just shrug at and move on.)

(Adding a break here, because this does go on a bit. Caution: contains publishing skullduggery, plans ganging aft agley, approximate word counts, software recommendations, and value judgments.)

("Now wait just one minute. 'Feckless would-be Robin Hood shit'? Can she just say that??")

The circumstances surrounding the writing of Deep Wizardry and High Wizardry, though, made it plain to me that I was not going to be at the then-publisher (Dell) all that much longer. By the time HW came out, they were already starting to pull away from midlist books and authors in order to spend that part of the budget on best-sellers... so it became plain to me that attempting to construct a long arc with/at that publisher would have been folly. Because who could be sure what was going to happen next, and blow everything I'd built to smithereens?

Sure enough, when I finished A Wizard Abroad, Dell declined to pick it up (even though the books had been selling steadily and increasingly strongly in paperback). This annoying validation of my concerns—and my shiny new agent's—made it plain to me that further books in the series were going to need to be thematically driven, rather than mostly character-event-driven, and almost entirely capable of being taken as standalones. Any long arc was going to have to be one that could be suspended, or reworked, with little warning. Because what happens to you once, in publishing, doesn't at all mean you're immune to it after that.

It wasn't until the YW books were picked up by Harcourt in the mid-90s, with a strong editorial team behind them, that I felt confident enough to start building longer-arc material into the books, beginning with the arc that kicks off in The Wizard's Dilemma and more or less completes in Wizard's Holiday and Wizards At War. There is a secondary (and I assume, generally less obvious) arc that picks up material still unhandled in the "War Arc," and deals with it in A Wizard of Mars and Games Wizards Play. But plans for those stories' management were already nailed down in electrons as soon as 2001, because I had made some early choices about where I was going with the characters and their situations; and as new books came out, my editors agreed with me that the choices had been sound, and should remain.

I'll say this only because I've said it before: there is one piece of business planted in So You Want To Be A Wizard that has never been explicitly dealt with/followed up on in any of the books, and is at the core of YW #11. For the moment, it's safest merely to say that I do not willingly leave loose ends hanging. Beyond that, I'll leave you all to your own deductions.

...Now. How do I keep track of all this stuff? (The urge to mutter "With great difficulty" and run off into the wings is strong. But never mind.) :)

The question's fair, as there's a million-plus words' worth of it in the series at the moment. ...Mostly my guide remains the books themselves, in ebook form (in their NME versions. If I need to, I refer back to the traditionally published versions as necessary). I normally have a general memory of where a given event happens or where a given issue comes up for handling. I then pull that copy of the ebook(s) in question, and do a search on various useful target phrases until I find what I'm after, and where it leads.

For new work, or stuff not yet committed to what passes for canon, I do have lots of notes. Some of them are actually out in public, at the currently-being-revised Errantry Concordance (though they're not in any form that anyone but me will recognize). Others are tucked away in the notes sections of pertinent Scrivener files—this being one of the most valuable things about Scrivener, as far as I'm concerned: the ability to store project notes in the project itself as opposed to "all over the damn place." Others yet are in my iPad, as either typing or dictation, and get transferred to other files/formats as necessary.

But the very first thing that happens, when a new work comes into train, is an outline. Sometimes a hilariously simple one, sometimes one with more detail in the middle than at the beginning or the end. Doesn't matter what shape it starts in. All notes, scraps, prose chunks, random thoughts, and midnight cogitations, get slotted into place in this until it's ready to be organized and sent off to an editor. And this outline—no matter how fragmentary or how polished—remains ready to hand at all times until I've finished with correcting the book's ARC and am looking at the release date.

And then I zip it up and put it away where I can find it later if I need to... because some other plan, still in the building stages, may need something in that one that never happened, but now has its chance. Because in YW, as everywhere else in my work, it's so often about the things that have always almost happened... until they do.

...Anyway: HTH!

[cadrenebula]

Video Game Ask Answers

Decided to answer these like @mist-touchedxiv chose to here. My answers are below the cut cause it's a little lengthy with 31 questions. Reblogging with my answers would have really made it lengthy. XD So I did my own post for them.

Last game you finished -It's been a while since I played a game with an end. Persona 5

Game(s) you’re currently playing -FFXIV, Disney Dreamlight Valley, Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom

1-3 games you’ve played in the past 12 months that you really enjoyed -FFXIV, Disney Dreamlight Valley, Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom

Do you like to get 100% achievements/trophies? -Nah. I like getting trophies but I long ago gave up on 100% in any game since some of the trophies are brutal for me to get. I game for fun not frustration.

Game(s) coming out that you’re looking forward to -Assassin's Creed Shadows

A series you’ve enjoyed since your early days of gaming and still enjoy to this day whether it still has games coming out or is one you return to -Wild Arms

A series you’ve lost interest in -Soul Calibur

A series you haven’t played but are interested in trying -Legacy of Kain

A game you played completely blind with no prior knowledge of and enjoyed/loved -Devil May Cry

A console and/or handheld you’ve never played but would like to try -Sega Saturn

Do you prefer ‘blank slate’ main characters you make yourself or otherwise project onto, or characters with a set personality and backstory? -I am good with either choice really. Depends on the story.

A character you particularly like in the game you’re currently playing -Koana from FFXIV (I picked a character from the current expansion to fit the question better)

Quick, name the first song from a game that comes to mind -Song of Storms from LoZ Ocarina of Time

A song that’s sure to hit your nostalgia buttons -If You Still Believe from Legend of Dragoon

Do you have a backlog and do you keep track of it? If so, how? -I very much do have a backlog. XD An it would be easier to keep track of games I've finished than which I haven't.

A game you’d like to replay that you haven’t -Legend of Dragoon

A game you didn’t finish but would like to get back to or restart someday -Tales of Vesperia. Lost interest towards the end when I needed to do some level grinding. I hate level grinding.

A game location you really like -Empyreal Paradox in FFXI and the battlefield inside

A game you started up for the first time and you knew from the start it was going to be great -Legend of Dragoon

A boss you think is really cool -Lady Harken from Wild Arms

A boss that was disappointing -Airy from Bravely Default

A game ending that’s really stuck with you -Devil May Cry 5

A “Wow” moment of awe -The final fight for Chains of Promathia in FFXI. I literally gawked at the battlefield until the NPCs forced me into the fight.

A game with a cool art style -The Persona game series

A game’s art style that had to grow on you -LoZ Wind Waker

Realism or stylized? -I'm not sure I lean towards one more than the other. Because art style can make or break the choice of if I want to play a game but I'm not that huge on the realism since most of those are game types I'm not big into anyways.

A game you love the atmosphere of -Kingdom Hearts

Pick a series you like. What was the first game you played for it? Was it a good starting point? Would it still be a good starting point now? -Wild Arms. It was the first RPG I really got into. And I think it's still a good starting point now. Even if you played the remake rather than the original. None of the Wild Arms games require you to play the others to understand them.

On average do you have one game or multiple games going? -I tend to have a few going in recent years. But usually only 1 that I'm not waiting on more story to release. I usually have 1 solo RPG going, XIV, and Disney Dreamlight. DDV doesn't have a big story and is a bit more like Animal Crossing in I can do what I want and how much I want at a time. XIV of course I have to wait between updates for more story and I can only do so much content grinding before I need a break again. My current RPG to take a break is LoZ Echoes of Wisdom.

Game you think you’ll finish next? -No idea. I am really good at getting distracted by a XIV patch or something new just as I get near the end of a game. That is what happened to my Baldur's Gate playthrough... XD

Someone has never played a video game before but is open to trying any genre. What game would you recommend as their first? -Hmm… If they want something with a story, I'd go with the original Wild Arms. It's not difficult to play and it's what got me into gaming. If they want something relaxing I'd say Animal Crossing New Horizons. If they want something less turn based and more actionish I'd say a game from the Ys series or LoZ series since most of their stories are pretty standalone.

[appledew]

Here is a Custom Designed Glamrock Bonnie!

Design made by edd_drawsyo on IG, plushified by me for them. :)

This plush is made with minky. Details are machine embroidered and appliqued. There is wire armature installed in the ears for poseability! None of their accessories are removable.

Fun facts: Possibly one of my favorite plushies made in 2023!

Very exciting project at the time because I finally had a chance to try out a "better type of minky" (seller's words, not mine) and it definitely felt softer! Their base coat pattern is made with this minky. I'm indifferent because of the shine it has (and I'm not a huge fan of shiny minky on plushies) but the availability of new colors was exciting!

And thats all for now! Still backlogged posting commissions that have since been shipped off, but working on catching up.

Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/appledew

Trello queue: https://trello.com/b/FZKSnMo7/plushie-commission-to-do-list

Twitter: https://twitter.com/AppleDew_

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/apple.dew

Tumblr: http://appledew.tumblr.com/

Furaffinity: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/appledew

deviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/appledew

[daavld]

Mistborn the Final Empire

This was the first cosmere book I've read, my brother who had bought the fourth one by the time I picked it up from his shelf had been begging for me to read it for at least a year. I'd heard of Sanderson's classes and book series like the Stromlight Archive and Mistborn but never had the motivation to start another long franchise. This book I finished in a few months last year and convinced me to try to catch up to the cosmere, now I have a 20 book long backlog waiting for me.

I want to start with what I didn't like or felt that could be improved. The main cast was filled with colorful characters, Vin and Kelsier, being the main characters got most of the development, Sazed was interesting but the rest of the crew remained unexplored, I was expecting to get more insight into their personalities and relationships with the other memebers but that never happened, for the most part they acted as characterizations of their personalities without giving them much more depth, you had the strong and thoughtful military guy, the slim and schemeing manipulator, the old and wise friend of Kelsier, etc. Elend was another character that didn't convince me at first, he appears a lot in the latter half of the book and only becomes important towards the end but I would have loved to see more of Vin and Elend before the third act. His character was a "one of the good ones" type of noble, the freethinker of his group of friends.

Things I liked: Everything else, the magic system at first felt limited but then evolved in how it could be used quickly, the book doesn't stop the action to explain it and rather shows you how it works. My favourite scene from the first act was the raid Kelsier does on a noble's hold to steal some atium, the entire fight against the hazekillers is great at showing you what a mistborn in peak form is able to do. The way the story jumps between the nobles and the political side of the conflict and the nightime skirmishes and training with Vin and Kelsier is spectacular, the pacing is tight and fast paced. The entire city of Luthadel is a dark and cold space, the descriptions make it feel cramped and permanently surveiled and you feel the foreboding presence of the mists and the lord ruler. The mysteries around the secret metal, the true identity of the lord ruler and what happened in Kelsier's past where great. I always felt, as Kelsier said it, that there always was another secret.

Vin's character was what kept me interested, a fragile looking girl growing up to become a powerful allomancer, her life suddenly intertwined in a plot and a world larger than life and the way the story kept putting her in challenging situations time after time. I loved the way she solved every problem, how she fought to leave her distrusting instincts behind. Her relationship with Kel had a mix of paternal and sibling energy. There was this dichotomy of a broken imperfect man having to become this beacon of hope, how he presented himself as a role model for everyone on the crew and especially Vin.

The setting was as oppresive as it gets, though I would have loved more descriptions but I can accept that Sanderson's style isn't focused on environmental detail unless it's important for the action. The city of Luthadel and it's surrounding towns worked for me mainly because of how it made the characters feel, it's dark sky with brown and red filtered light makes the ambient feel dead and uninhabitable. The people in charge live in brutalist buildings and the Lord Rules castle is built like a porcupine of towers, the ashmounts rising in the distance with their never-ending columns of smoke and ash. The way everything related to the skaa is surrounded by dirt and ash, how the nobles separate themselves not just by class but by living in clean spaces. The inhuman enforcers of the law, the inquisitors, grotesque creatures that abide by doctrine and pure loyalty to their ruling tyrant. I liked how different each faction and group of people felt, there was a cohesion of messages and ideas, a noble society that is as enslaved as the skaa, just to a different master. It's how I would imagine the goblin men living in mordor under the rule of sauron, constantly in shadow and below an all powerful god.

There book touches on ideas of slavery and rebellion, the skaa are an oppressed majority, a group of people made to serve their nobles. It isn't clear if the book explicitly differentiates them as a separate race, though some nobles believe themselves physically and mentally superior, so I would just interpret this as eugenics. Similar to how the nazis thought they could detect a Jewish person by measuring their skulls. It seems that the skaa had organized themselves and planned for a revolution once, and many times before but it never managed to work, the Lord Rulers enforcers and his nobles always thwarted their chances. I also think that even if they managed to slaughter the nobles the lord ruler would have proved too much for them to handle, his powers seemed limitless and broke every rule established for the magic system. He obviously gets a pass because he's the villain and they explain how he did it in the end.

The terris people are another mistery, they don't appear much so the only point of reference we have for them is Sazed. He is the Alfred to Kelsier, a wise butler that keeps his own magical secrets from the group. I loved every interaction he had with Vin, how he became her best friend and guided her through the noble lifestyle.

Both magic systems are thematically similar, they share the use of metals and feel natural. They work within rules and bounds that limit the character's use of them. I like this because it makes Vin eventual proficiency with them feel earned, the hard limits push the characters to constantly think of new and interesting ways to use them to their advantage. The only moment where I felt like the character's power wasn't earned was Vin's final move against the Lord Ruler. It wouldn't be a stakebreaking decision in a softer magic system but just getting a powerup in a book that put so much effort in building its magic was lazy. Having read the context in the later books helps, but I review this book as a standalone first and as part of a series later.

This book is a page turner, it can be binged easily. The plot turns and twists in unexpected but exciting ways, every new chapter surprised me and the third act was emotionally exhausting, the decisions the author took were bold but worked out in his favour. Apart from a few weak characters and a few stylistic choices this book is a solid 9/10.

[papermachefawn]

ok so I live in the UK but I do follow US politics and have some experience within activism so I'm just gonna put this here:

trump is MUCH more likely to win after the assassination attempt. it plays directly into exactly the type of persona he wants to cultivate: the political underdog/rebel who people fear. it is more important than ever to vote democrat. I also think it will lead to more political violence throughout the rest of the campaign.

with that being said, politics does not start and end at the poll station it's a consistent fight for the culture, community, and society that we want to live in. if you are in any way against trump, you're going to need to get involved in your local community projects or political groups, volunteer at charities, email your local representatives, find things that you have the chance to control and focus on them. small wins can create a big picture.

it is very likely that aspects of project 2025 will be implemented throughout trump's presidency. if you do not know what project 2025 is, or you want more details on it, here is a great video on it. it is important that you know the ins and outs of what will happen to the US if trump gets in, especially if it could affect you directly.

also if you feel like you're gonna have to move states or even to a different country, you have to start planning right now! the US is in a time of dramatic political change and it is going to become 10x more difficult to move after trump is possibly elected because that's when everyone is going to try to leave. you need to be ahead of the tide when it comes to this or else you could end up on a waiting list or a backlog. Here are some links to start you off:

moving out of state

moving out of the US

Another Tumblr User's experience of moving out of the US

finally I just want to say that your safety and mental wellbeing needs to be your priority, especially in times like these. I hope everyone in the US who is scared of what's to come knows that across the world there are people who also fucking hate trump and project 2025, and will support you even if it's from hundreds of miles away.

[quacks-reviews]

Playable on PC and Xbox Series X

Played on Xbox Series X

Play Time: 8hrs 37mins (hit credits)

First thing, after this post there will be a pause as I complete the next game in my backlog. Now South of Midnight has been on my radar for a while, really ever since that amazing trailer at the Xbox Showcase a year or so ago. When I played it, what I got was a game that hit a sweet spot that I rarely pay attention to but always actually appreciate when I find it: just being a good ass game.

Just a heads up, a couple points of what I talk about under the cut may be considered spoiler territory.

Now for the fun parts.

The Good:

And there’s a bit I can talk about

This game has a LOOK, and I love it. With a stop-motion feel that touches just about every visual aspect makes this game a style that’s just great to look at.

Each character you come across has a unique design that is entirely theirs whether that’s Hazel, Bunny, or Preacher Jolene each of the humans are distinctive when they come on screen. And that not even touching on the creatures you come across throughout the story as well

Creature designs are probably where this game shines most of all, the stop motion allowing for interesting textures and patterns to be used, like the quilt and fabric textures that appear on Catfish and the Rougarou. (Side note: I really like the design of the Rougarou’s head, it looking like a mix of a bird and a human skull is really a chef’s kiss, especially when you add in what appear to be yellow buttons for eyes)

While there are a couple issues with the music, I think I actually really enjoy it after a re-listen I had today humming along to the Hugging-Molly and Rougarou boss themes.

Just an add on to the music, it took me a few levels; but an interesting thing I noticed is that the a version of the boss themes will play during the levels said bosses will appear.

Price point may be a sticking point for some people but we definitely need $40-$50 USD games, especially as more companies try and move towards $80 or $100. And after playing it, I was personally happy with the price I paid.

The Weird:

These are more gut feelings than anything else, and a couple points may be considered spoilers:

While I do like most of the songs, a couple of the songs (looking at you “Benjy” and “Life Is a Fight to Be Won”) that felt almost overproduced to the point of feeling like they were left overs from stage musicals

Why wasn’t Roux the final being you confront? Kooshma is the King of Dreams and Nightmares, but Roux has personality he also had Hazel literally dancing to his tune in one scene.

What the fuck is a Weaver? The game explained it, but the information would always clash in my head with what I was doing in game, so can someone ELI5?

I wish they showed being a Weaver affect Hazel more, the only reference we have to how tough the job is the previous weaver felt better guiding run-away slaves to freedom then working as a Weaver.

While I do enjoy most of the character designs, the common enemy types that you fight most of the game (Haints) all kind of blended together. Each variant has a somewhat distinct silhouette (two blobs, two skinny ones, and one with an arm) but the gray and red color scheme just helped wipe them from my brain.

Gameplay genres felt at odds with each other, specifically the platforming aspects and the character action aspects. Both aspects were done better in other games and the dueling aspects only worsen the overall impact. Compulsion probably could have focused on one or the other and made a serious GOTY contender.

Score: Not every game needs to be a 10/10 AAA million dollar open world experience, and I love South of Midnight because it’s none of those things.

Next Up: Clair Obscur Expedition 33

[todayimgonnaplay]

Today I'm Gonna Play: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

This game has been in my backlog for a looong while but it only took The Witcher 4 announcement to really get me intrigued and finally jump into it. Prior to this my only experience has been watching at least season 1 of the show, as well as Nightmare of the Wolf which were enjoyable, but I don't remember much of it.

Honestly, I'm not sure where to start. For a game released in the 2010s, so much of it has been held up so well that I can see why it's praised so much. The world feels so alive with its diverse cast of characters and encounters that I'm surprised I haven't seen more of this in more recent games.

One thing that stood out to me was that every quest tackled in the game didn't feel useless. Everything had a story to tell, from influential figures to peasants trying to make it through each day. The option of getting to know them felt very intimate that made me respect the job of a witcher, and Geralt's character in general (however you shape him to be). I also liked how the game had a lot of investigative elements. Getting in Geralt's head and knowing how he pieces up events really shows how good he is at his job and helps provide a bigger picture to each quest.

The story was excellent from start to finish. I won't say much to avoid spoiling, but I found it interesting how there are large-scale events occuring in the world that you slightly take part of, yet the main focus of the game is a lot more personal. Being able to play as someone that can indirectly have a lot of influence with how the world changes yet act as an everyday man doing their job was a very refreshing thing to see.

I'm also unfamiliar with Slavic folklore in general but seeing its uses in the game alongside other philosophical and social elements seen in other cultures that you scour through as you explore (especially when reading) was a really nice touch. I'd love to play more games like this that show diverse concepts and use 'more niche' cultures in games.

And for a game that has dark/mature themes like other RPGs, I was surprised to see how it tackled subjects like love and loss. I've been used to seeing games that like to focus on war/politics and social issues yet feel gritty and violent. Seeing the side effects of it was unexpected but very much welcome.

The music is also another highlight for me. A lot of the atmospheric tracks really blend well with the places you visit. I enjoyed hearing how layered the tracks are and how they blend and transition as you walk around. Battle themes are also just as great and really get me pumped when I'm fighting off monsters. I've been listening to them non-stop lately and definitely are the types of tracked I'd listen to for years to come. Though it's a shame that a lot of the tracks I like are not officially available.

My only issues would be that the combat feels quite clunky (mostly the sword fighting aspect) and is my least favourite part of the game. It feels reminiscent of Persona 4 where my depth perception keeps failing me as I'm always too far to hit. Although strong attacks are effective, they take longer than usual to wind up compared to other games, and the magic system feels awkward at times with how its set up. A faster way to change signs and potential upgrades for regenerating them would be a nice addition (although the latter could be game breaking).

Horse riding was also very clunky. Perhaps playing Red Dead Redemption 2 spoiled me, but there were way too many times where I was constantly stopped by random obstacles or ledges that it was better to just run on foot than deal with this.

Another thing that I just realized while writing this, is that the photo mode did not make it clear that using the save screenshot button doesn't remove the UI. So the majority of scenic pictures I took still have the UI in them... I wish I knew of this a lot early on (iirc Dragon's Dogma 2 or another game lets you know that the UI should be hidden to take screenshots successfully)

This genuinely has shaped up to be one of the best RPGs I've played, and even in general. I'm stoked to play the next title, especially with Ciri taking the main role!

[silverwings22]

Caught in the Crosshairs: Chapter 60: Still Worth Fighting For- My Darkest Days

Series warnings: Smut, mind control, canon typical violence, childhood trauma, language, chronic illness Chapter warnings: animal cruelty, sexual language, profanity, emotional collapse, medical experimentation, gambling

Previous chapter:

Next chapter:

“I could use some help up here!” Omega was wrestling with the ship controls. “Nothing is responding!”

“I can't access the stabilizers. The system is offline.” Miria was furiously typing at a console, until Crosshair physically picked her up and put her on the lift with him and Batcher. 

“We took too much damage in the escape.” He grumbled at her. They stumbled into each other when the ship lurched out of hyperspace, his arm catching her around the waist. “We need to land.”

“Difficult when nothing is working.” Omega grumbled. “I couldn't get anything out to Hunter and Wrecker.”

“That's alright, padawan mine.” Miria assured her. Crosshair dropped into the seat behind her and Miria slid into his arms sideways, doing their best to prepare for a crash landing. “Find as open a space as you can, and I'll try to slow our descent with the Force. Batcher, lay down.”

The hound dropped by her feet and Crosshair wrapped his arms around her, letting her tuck his head into the curve of her neck. “Not quite what I was hoping for.” He muttered quietly over the intermittent beeping of the controls and Omega struggling with the controls. He felt helpless, and he hated it. 

“Hold on a bit longer. We're not done yet.” She pressed her lips over the scar on his temple. She was confident in Omega and the Force… but just in case, she wanted to kiss him one more time. 

Crosshair felt her body tense as she fought gravity and the Force to keep them from exploding on impact. Omega managed to level them out enough to scrape bottom on flat ground instead of the jagged mountain area they'd passed not far back. 

When the metal creaking and tearing sounds stopped, Omega popped the hatch. “This is going to take forever to repair.”

“There's no time.” Crosshair grumbled, trying to push his seat back. It was stuck, and he wasn't quite willing to let Miria go to climb out. “The Empire will be looking for this shuttle, and us.”

“But we need to get the backlog coordinates for Tantiss. For when we go back.” Omega turned around in her seat. Miria was kicking her feet like a turtle on its back, her backpack weighing her down from getting out of Crosshair’s lap. 

“We're not going back.” He snapped. “Why the hell would you ever want to go back to that place?” He finally stood Miria up so he could stand too. 

“The other clones.” Omega said firmly. “We can't just leave them there.:

Miria looked at Crosshair. “Those regs didn't deserve to be there any more than you did.” Miria slung her legs out and jumped to the ground, holding her arms out to catch Omega. 

The girl leapt into them immediately. “We don't leave our own behind.” She said firmly. 

Crosshair bit back his immediate snark and climbed down with a gear pack he’d found. “I clocked a spaceport a few klicks back. We can try to find something there.” 

Omega whistled for Batcher, and the hound moved to her side faithfully. She was content to walk a little further back with the pup, so Miria trotted ahead to walk beside Crosshair. 

“You’re angry.” She said softly. 

“She said it so quickly. We don’t leave our own behind.” Crosshair grumbled. “Like second nature.”

“Hunter’s been a good father to her.” Miria glanced over at him. There was no time for her to show him what she was carrying on her back, but she desperately needed to soon. He needed his own chance, needed the way loving a child had changed Hunter from soldier to father. Soldiers died too quickly in this new Empire.

“He didn’t have a problem leaving me behind.”

Miria sighed. “At the time, you didn’t want to be rescued. As soon as you did, I started looking for you.”

“And where was Hunter during that?” Crosshair grumbled. 

Miria gritted her teeth. “Right next to me on Eriadu, when Tech died.” A sharp pain in her chest caught her off guard and she had to pause, taking short breaths until it passed. 

Crosshair shut up immediately, eyes dropping to the ground. Miria felt the Force around him discolor and dim, and she could only reach out and hook a finger into his pinky. “Cross. Your brothers aren’t a lost cause. And neither are you.” Her voice was soft, almost imperceptible against the sound of their boots and nature around them. She almost thought he had missed it, until his fingers flexed and slid in between hers. She squeezed his hand gently, a hopeful flutter in her chest replacing the pain. They were both gruesomely damaged now, from the months of loss and loneliness. But if he was willing to fight to save what was between them, she was sure they could survive it together. 

They made it to the city, trying to look inconspicuous in the face of a heavy Imperial presence around the space port. “They can’t have tracked us here that fast.” Omega frowned. 

“That’s a standard patrol presence.” Crosshair shook his head. 

“So we should be able to get around them and get a comm out to Hunter and Wrecker.” The girl said hopefully. 

“They monitor long range comms. It’ll give us away.” Crosshair murmured. 

“Well we can’t just stay like this, we stand out.” Omega grumbled. 

“You’re the one who wanted to bring the hound.” 

Miria tried not to laugh at the familiar back and forth of siblings bickering, or that he seemed to think the lurca and not their literal prison uniforms were what made them conspicuous. She could almost imagine Wrecker and Hunter having the exact same conversation in the back of the Marauder when Wrecker was begging to keep Muchi the rancor. 

Omega wrinkled her nose and patted Batcher. “Don’t listen to him. We’ll think of something.” 

Crosshair glanced behind him, frowning when he realized Miria wasn’t beside him any longer. “Where-?”

“Thinking of something.” She startled him when she popped back up besidehim, holding a couple bundles of clothes and grinning. She handed him a thick jacket and a hat with a face mask. “Here. This should keep you warm, love.” 

While he put it on, Miria helped Omega into a coat and cap and slipped on one for herself. Crosshair’s face was obscured from below the eyes, while Miria’s coat had a fluff-lined hood to cover her striped hair. “Good idea, Miri. This will help us blend in.” 

Miria smiled and patted her head. “I’m sure the people who left them out won’t notice for a while.” 

“You stole something?” Crosshair raised an eyebrow. 

Omega smirked. “She and Hunter stole a speeder and got into a police chase.” 

“A bounty hunter was trying to steal you.” Miria wrinkled her nose.

He stared at her, following silently when she waved for him. They headed for the transportation depot. It was crawling with Imperial soldiers. “We’ll never be able to sneak past them all.” Omega murmured. 

“I could take half of them out before they noticed.” Crosshair offered.

“There’s civilians manning the front desk.” Miria shook her head. “You know my stance on collateral damage.”

“So that stays the same, but now you steal stuff and kill people?” Crosshair snipped. 

“We all have our own line.” She looked at Omega. “Plan, padawan?” 

“.... we could bribe them?” The girl offered.

“We have no money.” Miria pointed out.

“They don’t need to know that.” Omega turned and walked ahead, heading to the counter. 

Crosshair looked at Miria, crossing his arms as they followed. She glanced back and smiled, gripping the strap of her backpack tightly. Not much longer before she could sit him down and show him… They’d be safe and home, and the horrors could abate for just a moment. He had to be as desperate to fall apart as she was.

“Fifteen thousand credits?” Omega squeaked, catching her attention again. 

“Each.” The heavily covered desk clerk nodded towards Miria and Crosshair. “You’re lucky I’m not charging more for the creature. Don’t come back until you have the credits.”

Omega walked back over to Miria and Crosshair, head down. “That went well.” Crosshair drawled.

“Stow it.” Omega huffed, then looked at Miria. “That’s a lot of credits.” She said softly. “Forty five thousand?”

Miria put a hand on her hair gently, “We’ll find a way to get it. Come along.” She moved Omega into the middle between her and Crosshair, both protective and because it reinforced their cover of a daughter with her parents and pet. 

“Now what?” Crosshair said tensely. 

Miria and Omega looked at each other and Miria chuckled when she realized they were standing right in front of a bar. “Remember that dejarik tournament on Ord Mantell?” Omega grinned. 

“I remember you beat Hunter.” Miria smiled sharply. 

“I beat you too.” Omega snickered. 

“She beat you?” Crosshair blinked. “Even Tech couldn’t beat you.” 

Miria looked back at him with a sheepish smile. “And she’s even better at sabacc. Wrecker taught her, you know I’m terrible at it.” 

“That’s your plan? You want to hustle someone?” Crosshair grumbled as they headed into the bar. “What are we going to put up as a bet? We don’t have anything.”

“They don’t need to know that, love.” Miria winked, patting his knee as Omega picked her target. It was a loud, brash trandoshan male who was in the mood to bully a child. It made him fun to put in his place. “There’s a dejarik table over there. I’ll try my hand.” 

He met her eyes, brow furrowing before he caught her wrist and pulled her closer when she started to set her bag on the seat next to him. His voice was low, in the kind of way that made her want to forget they needed money and instead climb into his lap no matter how many people were looking. “I thought you told me Jedi don’t gamble.” He breathed in her ear. 

She leaned in until her own lips were right at his ear and smiled. Once upon a time she’d have been too embarrassed to respond, and have scuttled away flustered or sat down beside him and stared at her shoes. That was before she’d found the beskar in her spine, that it took to stand up and survive all she had. “They don’t fuck clones either.” She crooned in his ear. “But just you wait until I get you alone.” 

Crosshair’s skin flushed hot under his mask. “... fuck, you’ve changed.” He muttered. 

“Not in the ways that matter.” She shot him a wink and patted her bag gently. “Keep your eyes on this, and don’t open it.”

“What’s in it?” He frowned, meeting her eyes. He wanted to just pull her to him, forget everything for a minute and let Omega save them, but he knew he couldn’t. Being wrapped up in her arms wasn’t worth it if they ended back in cells. He wasn’t able to think about losing her again, not when he didn’t even fully have her back.

“I’ll show you once we’re somewhere safe. I promise.” She put her hand on his knee for a moment. “Please trust me.”

She and the little blonde girl behind her might have been the only ones he trusted anymore. “Alright. Be careful.”

Miria slipped off to start playing, and he sat back to keep an eye on her and Omega in turns. 

Omega cleaned out the trandoshan for about twenty thousand credits when an Imperial captain walked in. Mira’s eyes darted up and she quickly finished her round of dejarik and pocketed the credits she’d managed to get. She slid back into the seat beside Crosshair and frowned, eyes glued to the man. Crosshair shifted and she settled, moving her bag to her lap and dropping the credits into the bag Omega had stolen. 

“What did you get?” Crosshair murmured. 

“Thirty.” Miria breathed. “She'll only need fifteen more.”

“She's already got twenty, but that captain is determined to give her a hard time. Even the hound senses it.” He muttered. Batcher was growling from the corner of the table, next to Omega. 

Miria nodded, watching the man's face. “He’s getting angry, too.” 

Almost on cue, the captain looked at Omega. “Your mutt is a distraction. Get it out of here.” Omega glanced over her shoulder and nodded at Crosshair, so he got up and whistled for Batcher to follow him. 

The captain eyed Miria once he was gone, and it made her skin prickle uncomfortably. He couldn’t possibly recognize her with her hood up… she didn’t have any distinctive tattoos like Crosshair did that necessitated covering her face. Her hair was the most distinctive feature… So she smiled politely despite her revulsion, and he nodded and went back to his game.

Crosshair sat down next to her again. “Left the hound by the back door. We’ll go out that way.” 

She nodded, leaning back against the booth and watching Omega. Her fingers drummed anxiously on the bag in her lap, the only outward sign she was anything but at ease. Crosshair couldn’t help but think of the gala, long ago on Coruscant, where he’d spotted those same nervous fingertips and asked her to leave with him. “Did they take your ring?” He frowned, noticing the lack of silver on her left hand.

“I dislocated my shoulder on Eriadu. My hand was swollen, so Echo helped me take it off and string it on my necklace. It’s hanging on our bunk.” She rubbed the inside of her ring finger with her thumb, voice coming up a little out of breath. Crosshair worried immediately she’d been injured in the crash. “I’d have lost my mind to have my engagement ring dishonored like that, but I’ve felt naked without it.” 

Omega lay down her cards, an immediate game over and win. Crosshair looked a little proud, leaning back with his arms crossed. 

The captain eyed her. “You beat me fair and square. Twenty thousand credits.” He slid the money over to Omega, who gathered it up and brought it over to Miria and Crosshair. As she dropped it in the back, he considered the three of them. “I haven’t seen you or your parents around before.” 

“We’re just passing through.” Omega said quietly, backing up to Miria as she and Crosshair stood up. The woman’s hands moved to her shoulders, protective and familiar. Crosshair watched the way they moved and realized this wasn’t their first face off with danger together. 

“Well, you’ll need to pay your fine and you’re welcome to continue your travels.” The captain smirked. 

“Fine?” Miria narrowed her eyes. 

“Gambling is illegal on Lau. Ten thousand credits for every infraction. You were at the dejarik table, weren’t you ma’am?” His smile sharpened. “Unless you’d like your whole family to be arrested.” 

“That won’t be necessary.” Miria glanced at Crosshair and shook her head when his fists clenched. “Sweetheart, pay the gentleman our fine for the trouble?”

Omega nodded, slowly taking twenty thousand out of the bag and handing it over. Miria stared the captain down as he pocketed it. “Pleasure doing business with you all.” 

“Likewise.” She said coolly, watching him walk past them and out the back door. Once he was gone, she turned Omega around. “You alright, little love?”

Omega nodded. “Yeah… How much do we have now?”

“Fifty. That’s enough for the bribe and a little over.” Miria sighed. “It’s not much over, but it’ll buy us a cheap room somewhere to wait for Hunter and Wrecker once we’re off this planet.” She leaned over and kissed Omega’s forehead. “Did he call us your parents?”

Omega snickered. “Yeah.”

“I won’t tell Hunter if you don’t. Let’s go get Batcher, and get out of here.” Miria smiled, adjusting her bag on her back and reaching for Crosshair’s sleeve. They walked out the back door and Omega started looking for her hound. 

“Batcher…? Batcher!” 

“She must be around here somewhere.” Miria started, frowning. “She wouldn’t have wandered off, she likes you far too much.”

“I can tell you what happened, for a price.” A child sitting outside the door looked up at them. “Ten thousand credits.” 

Miria raised an eyebrow, putting a hand up when Crosshair took a threatening step towards the kid. “Or I could let him shoot you. Do you really want to risk it?”

“Five thousand?” The kid asked nervously. 

Crosshair growled. Miria huffed. “Fine.” She reached into the bag and tossed the credits out. “Where’s our hound?”

“That Imperial Captain and his men grabbed it and took it towards the cargo docks. Pleasure doing business with you.” The kid darted away as fast as his little legs could carry him. 

Omega squared her shoulders. “Let’s go.”

“The transportation hub is this way.” Crosshair drawled, crossing his arms. 

“And the cargo docks are this way. We’ve got to get Batcher.” Omega said 

“Forget the hound, Omega. Every minute we’re on this planet, we’re at risk. We need to go.” 

Omega narrowed her eyes and tossed him the cash bag. “If you wanna go, then go. I’ll find my own way.” She turned and stormed off towards the docks. 

Crosshair looked at the bag in his hands, then at Miria. She sighed, shouldering her bag more securely. “Are you going to leave again?” She said softly. 

“Miria. You have to think this is insane.” He caught her chin and turned her face up to him. It had been too long since the last time he’d done so with gentleness; she couldn’t help but close her eyes for a moment. “Let’s go. Please.”

“We don’t leave our own behind. Before Order 66, you never would have considered it. So show me the Crosshair I know is still in there, and fight for your family. Give me right now, like you promised.” She said firmly, pushing the bag of credits into his hands. “Or you can take these credits and go, and I’ll know the Empire really did destroy you.” 

She was taking a huge gamble, giving him the choice again. If he walked away now, she’d lose him forever. She’d be lost herself forever without him. But everything she knew about Crosshair said he had to choose for himself or he’d resent being dragged along. She’d chased him across the galaxy, all the way to Tantiss… now he had to chase her. All she could do was pray he still loved her enough to do it. 

He stared at her for a long moment before pulling his mask down below his chin and pulling her quickly to him. His lips met hers firmly, chapped and desperate but everything she’d ever wanted. She tasted it on his mouth; the promise was still alive. He was back, hers and in the flesh instead of a fleeting dream she was afraid to grasp too tightly in case she crushed the life from it. “Fine. Let’s get the kid and the hound.” He murmured when he leaned back. “But can I please shoot someone?”

“Only in an emergency.” She smiled, hands pressed to his chest as she looked up at him. His eyes seemed softer now, after so long seeing him narrowed and tense while he’d hunted her down for the Empire. It was hard to imagine, looking in those eyes, that the last time she’d seen him had been on that platform on Kamino. It seemed centuries ago now.  “Let’s go.” 

They took off, catching up to Omega as she posted herself by the fence outside the docks to figure out a plan. “We'll do this your way.” Crosshair muttered, handing her back the money bag. “But my skills are being wasted.”

“Noted.” Omega smiled and glanced at Miria, who gave her a grin and nod. Omega had endless faith in her brothers, but she was still a little girl in the worst kind of situation. A little reassurance that Miria trusted Crosshair went a long way.

Crosshair interlaced his hands and gave the girl a boost over, then did the same for Miria before climbing after them. There were hundreds of hapless creatures in cages here, all screaming and crying for their freedom when they peeked around a stack of crates. “Should we let all the animals out?” Omega whispered. 

“Don't push it.” Crosshair huffed. 

Miria crouched and peeked around a shipping container. “I see Batcher. Keep low, we'll-”

“I knew you'd come looking for your mutt.” The gambling captain's voice made them all spin around, blasters up. “You're surrounded, don't bother. Just give me back my credits and surrender. It'll be more pleasant… at least until Hemlock shows up.”

Omega recoiled while Crosshair started scanning how many Imperials constituted being ‘surrounded.’ Miria felt the urge to hiss well up within her like a cornered nexu, and she forced a measured response despite the desire to just start fighting. “He's not taking us.” None of us. We’re not going back. He’s not taking Crosshair away from me again. He’s not keeping Omega from her family any more. He’s not stealing any more hope from me. 

She wouldn’t survive if he did. She’d come apart and turn into a monster Vader had predicted if Hemlock got his hands on her. He’d drag her into the darkness no matter how she fought, and in the end the real victims would be the two on either side of her and the tiny soul helplessly cradled in her backpack. Her family, the only thing she had left to love when the Temple burned behind her.

“Of course he is. You three must be valuable, for how fast we got word after your shuttle was found crashed. It's a pity, too. You're a pretty thing.”

Omega threw the credit bag, tossing it mostly towards the Imperial to distract his hungry eyes from the way her brother was dying to kill him. “Fine. We'll do this your way.” She looked over her shoulder at Crosshair. 

He glanced from her to Miria, who smirked and reached for her own blaster. “This is an emergency, darling.”

“Finally.” Crosshair’s voice contained the ghost of that smirk she adored. She heard the blaster click from stun to fire, and he opened up on them over her shoulder. 

Miria dropped low, covering him from behind. “Omega, remember what you did with Muchi?”

Omega grinned and ran for the controls, hopping over a downed man to open the cages and free every creature she could. It was a little poetic, Miria thought, to see a child who’d escaped her own cage freeing both them and everything else suffering the way she had. 

“What's a Muchi?” Crosshair asked when his back pressed to Miria's. She tried not to notice he'd missed three shots, or the worry would eat her alive. 

“Baby rancor.”

“You uncaged a rancor?”

“Wrecker wrestled it.” Miria spotted Omega reuniting with Batcher. “Omega! The cargo ship!”

“Got it!” Omega yelled back, her and her hound racing up the open ramp. The two adults kept any Imperials from following her until the engines came online. 

“That's our ride, my darling.” Miria chuckled, shooting at the feet of an Imperial who stumbled back and was trampled by the milling creatures escaping. 

“Who taught you to shoot like that?” He grabbed her by the hand and they scrambled for the ship, scuttling aboard before the ramp could close. 

“You did.” She gasped as a screaming Imperial got thrown backwards by the engine ignition, and they shot into the sky. She threw her arms around Crosshair’s neck, burying her face into the crook of his shoulder. It was quiet suddenly, and all she could make herself care about was Crosshair’s breathing against her own ragged gasps.

He dropped his blaster and hugged her around the waist, lifting her off the ground. “You okay?” He breathed. 

“I am now.” She smiled, finally getting a moment of peace to just look at him. Even if it was just his eyes, it was Crosshair. Finally, Crosshair, after so long she’d thought she’d go insane without him.  “I knew you'd never leave us again.”

He pulled his hat and mask off. “It was a close thing.”

“No it wasn't.” Miria shook her head, unwilling to let him go quite yet. “I know you better. Ni kartayl su.”

He chuckled, leaning over for a second to rest his forehead against hers. “C'mon. Let's check on Omega.” His concern and immediate devotion to protecting his sister was the kind of endearing that made Miria’s heart catch in her throat. All the desperate, soft feelings wanted to overtake her after being pushed down for months. But he was right, Omega needed them. 

They walked up to the cockpit, arms around each other. Omega was finishing up programming the navi-computer as they arrived, Batcher with her head on the girl's knee. Miria leaned over, wrapping her arms around Omega’s shoulders from behind. “Well done, padawan mine. I’m so proud of you.” 

Omega smiled and leaned into the hug. “Not bad for winging it.”

Crosshair dropped into the seat beside Omega. “The Empire will be able to track this ship. We need to ditch it.”

Omega nodded. “I've already sent a coded message to Hunter and Wrecker, with coordinates to meet.”

“Omega.” Crosshair’s voice softened, and both Miria and Omega looked at him with various levels of concern. “It's been months. We don't even know if they're alive-”

“They're alive, and they'll be there.” Omega said firmly. “Right, Miri?”

“If I know Hunter, he's been searching for you the whole time. And Wrecker’s been keeping him out of danger.” Miria said softly.

“You think Echo is still with them?” Omega murmured. 

“He'd probably have access to more information with Rex, so he likely went back. I'm sure my side of the family is searching too, and communicating through Echo.”

Crosshair made a face as Batcher leaned up to lick his cheek. “And if they're not?”

“They will be.” Omega said firmly, scrubbing her eyes with her hand as her bravado cracked. “Sorry… Emerie said I shouldn't cry.” She finally whispered. 

Miria shifted to kneel beside the girl's chair, cupping her cheeks in her hands. “Emerie’s been turned into a breathing droid incapable of human emotion. You've been so strong for such a long time, but you're a child. Cry if you need to. Now, or when you see Hunter and Wrecker again. Whenever you feel safe, you can cry.”

Omega nodded and hugged her, Miria cradling the blonde head on her shoulder. Behind her, Crosshair got up and went back down to the hold. “Is he okay, Miri?” She whispered. “I really thought he was going to leave back there…”

“That's not who he is.” Miria sighed. “But right now, he's afraid. Afraid Hunter and Wrecker are gone, or that they won't want him back. He knows nothing will ever be the same, but he can't prepare for differences he can't imagine. He's had a harder time than anyone realizes, having to go through everything all alone. It'll be a long adjustment, I'm sure… but try to be kind.”

Omega nodded, reaching out to cuddle Batcher. “We've got a couple hours till the rendezvous. I won't be lonely up here, so you should go talk to him.”

Miria smiled and kissed her cheek. “I would have been lost without you, Omega. Thank you for believing in him, and in me.”

Omega smiled back, and Miria crept off to check on Crosshair. She looked at Batcher, who's head cocked to the side. “They're gonna get married.” She explained. “Miri said they met during the war and-”

Crosshair was sitting on a crate with his back to the wall when Miria found him, one knee up. She knew his mind was racing by body language alone. “There you are, darling.” She set her bag down next to the crate and reached for him. “You're anxious.”

When her hand settled on his arm, he dropped the updrawn leg and let her step up between his parted knees. He considered her face for a long time, the fingers brushing her cheek wracked with tremors again. She cupped her hand over his and held it steady to her face. He gritted his teeth when he couldn't get the shakes to stop. “I knew you'd be good with her… telling her it's okay to cry. She's not a soldier, she can-”

“You can cry too, Crosshair.” Miria stood on her tiptoes to press her forehead against his. “You're a man, not a monument. It's okay.”

He took a shaky breath. He'd been her enemy, was missing shots, eyes stinging with tears now… he felt like half the man he'd been before, and she was still holding him like she'd never let go. “... why are you still so good to me?” He whispered, and she heard the crack in his voice that told her he wasn't able to stop himself from crying this time.

“Because I love you. You're my shining star.” She whispered, voice splintering like his had as she tried and failed to stop herself from collapsing into him as well. 

He put his head on her shoulder, letting go of her face just to hug her tightly. If she heard the broken breathing or felt the tears on her skin, she made no comment. She just held him through the storm, fingers stroking his head delicately through her own sobbing. He managed to get halfway to his feet and slid to the floor with her, both clinging and crying together. 

It had been so long since either of them felt truly safe enough to cry like this. Strength had been a facade, Crosshair’s survival mechanism in the Empire and Miria's tool to protect the Batch, for over a year. Now, they could let it go. He didn't need her to be his leader, and she would never think less of him when he fell apart. 

It felt like hours when the crying stopped, the two of them laying on the floor curled into each other and catching their breath as the feelings settled into a manageable tangle like their limbs. Miria wiped his cheek with her sleeve. Crosshair pushed a tear off hers with his thumb. “... you're even pretty when you cry.” He mumbled. “Fuck, I missed you.”

“I've missed you too. Every day, I thought about you and hoped it was the day you came home.” She smiled. 

Crosshair sighed. “... do you think they… will they even want me to come back?” He sounded hesitant, out of place in the serpentine velvet of his voice. “Will Hunter even let me?”

“He made me a promise, a long time ago.” Miria assured him. “You'll always have a home to come back to with them, even if I wasn't there.”

“And if he breaks it?” Crosshair hugged her tight. 

“Then I go wherever you go. I've got family in the rebellion and on Naboo. We'll find our place together.” She brought his hands to her lips and kissed his knuckles. 

“The two of us.” He nodded, the familiar and long-awaited uptick of his heartbeat when her lips touched his skin reminding him he was awake and alive. She wasn't just a dream. She had kept searching for him when everyone told her to give up. 

And she'd found him. 

“Three, darling.” She whispered. “I need to show you something.”

Crosshair frowned and sat up, leaning against the corner formed by a crate and the wall. Miria got to her knees and called her bag to her with the Force. There were nerves evident in the way she moved, fingers clutching the bag fabric too tightly. “Miria?”

“It's alright, love. It's… it's not the way we planned, but it's something good anyway. And the timing isn't ideal but I'm sure the others won't be upset once they understand, and-” She couldn't stop herself, wringing her hands and looking down because what if this was too much? It was so much for her, and she had more faith and agency than he had in the last year. What if he didn't want this? What if he didn't want- 

Her racing thoughts were cut off by his fingers under her chin, lifting her eyes to meet his. “Just show me. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out together.” He whispered. 

Miria nodded, righting her flagging resolve and opening the bag. The shine of the transparisteel bubble and blinking lights caught Crosshair off guard for a moment before he leaned in to inspect the growth tube. “A baby?” He frowned. 

“Our baby.” Miria fished out the datapad. “I only had a few moments to glance over the experiment notes, but I don't see where she was altered at all. No enhanced aging, no genetic modification… He wanted a biological child of mine, and my DNA wouldn't accept anyone else's but yours.”

Crosshair nodded, eyes fixed on the infant in the tube. “So… this is her? Mayrin?” He finally asked. “Our daughter?”

Miria was so grateful he'd come to the conclusion on his own instead of her having to convince him. She nodded, putting her hand over the tube. “She's about ready to come out… we can wait a few days, to figure everything out with your brothers-”

“No.” He shook his head. “You told me… when we first talked about this…”

Miria remembered the moment like it was preserved in amber. The heat of Tattooine, the sting of her injured back, Crosshair’s face furrowed with the stress of trying to make himself understood when he worried he'd be a terrible father. 

“What if they hate me?”

“Oh darling. What if they love you?”

She smiled, understanding writing a love letter in her eyes when she looked back at him. There was a chance his brothers would hate him now. So much had changed and become uncertain between them… but his daughter would love him. She already did, so much so that she'd come through time and the Force to become one of the three who'd saved him from himself. 

Miria, Omega, and Mayrin. The lover, sister, and daughter that kept fighting for him long after he'd resigned himself to his fate. Millions of men came out of Kamino when he had, but none of them could do what three girls could accomplish and save a broken man. 

“After we take her out, we should introduce her to Omega.” He said softly. “Can we do that?”

She grinned so hard her cheeks hurt. “Absolutely.” She got up and walked Over to the stacks of cargo, haphazardly turned over. It didn't take her long to find a couple blankets, towels, and a med-kit. Crosshair sat cross-legged on the floor and watched as Miria opened the tube and lifted the baby out, laying her on a towel, scrubbing her dry, and cutting the umbilical. The baby set up wailing, clearing her tiny lungs. Miria handed Crosshair the softest blanket she'd found, and carefully swept the newborn into it in his arms. “Shh, you're alright.” She crooned, leaning over his shoulder and keeping a hand under his while he held their daughter. “Mind her head, love.” 

Crosshair stared down at the baby as her tiny cry petered out and she stared at him with unfocused eyes. Lavender eyes. “... Mayrin.” He finally murmured. “That's your name. Mayrin Nina Halcyon. I'm your father, and this is your mom.” 

There was something poignant to Miria about him speaking the name to the little girl first. Like his voice could speak the soul into this tiny body, made in an unspeakable place by a madman. By telling his daughter who she was, Crosshair undid everything Hemlock had tried to make her. She was theirs, and he was already fading into memory behind them. 

Miria rested her head on Crosshair’s shoulder. “We've waited a long time to meet you.” She told the baby, brushing her fingers over the damp fluff of fine silver hair. “You're so beautiful. We knew you would be.” 

Crosshair wrapped the blanket more securely around his daughter, sitting in the warm glow of her existence. Miria couldn't bring herself to move, looking from the new life that existed between them to the absolutely tender expression on Crosshair’s face. 

“Do you want to go introduce her to Omega?” Miria whispered after a while. 

“You carry her. With my hand… I don't want to drop her.”

Miria nodded and took the baby, getting to her feet. He picked up the datapad and pocketed it, determined to go through it piece by piece to make sure there was nothing he needed to fix for Mayrin. And he would, no matter what it took, because when she’d looked at him all he could see was someone who loved him just as much as Miria and knew nothing of his sins. 

Miria scooped up a pair of blacks bottoms and a field kit real quick, and they headed back up to the cockpit.

“Omega?” Crosshair was the first to call out. 

“Did you get to cry?” The girl spun around in her seat.

“... yeah.” Her brother sighed. “Actually, I probably needed it.”

“I did too.” Miria volunteered. “And we've got someone for you to meet, who's probably going to do a lot of crying for a while.” She sat down in the copilot seat and moved the blanket so Omega could see. “This is our daughter. Your niece, Mayrin.”

Omega blinked, eyes wide as the baby yawned and snuggled closer to Miria's chest. “You had a baby?”

“Yes.” Miria smiled. “I'll explain when we're all together, but… this was what was in that backpack.”

“Can I touch her?” Omega whispered, scared to wake up the half-asleep little one. 

“Gently. Her head is still soft.” Miria nodded. Omega hesitantly brushed her fingers over the chubby baby cheek, startled when the baby tried to nurse her pinky that strayed close to her mouth. 

“She's hungry.” Omega murmured. 

Miria nodded. “We'll look through the crates and see if we find anything we can feed her. There were supplies back there.”

“I'll go check.” Crosshair offered, instantly determined to provide for his daughter. He was down the ladder again in an instant. 

Miria laughed softly and looked at Omega. “It's so good to finally have him home.”

Wrecker had volunteered to wait outside the Havoc Marauder when the Imperial cargo ship landed. There was a chance it wasn't Omega, that this was a trap, and he didn't think his sergeant could endure that disappointment. Hunter had barely been keeping it together, and he'd been picking up all the slack he could to try to ease the burden. It was hard, a family of seven reduced to two. Crosshair in the Empire, Echo with Rex, Tech dead, and Miria and Omega missing… the ship had felt like a tomb for months. A gun case, silver ring, lonely tooka plushie, and a pair of shattered glasses told the story of what they'd lost since Order 66. 

When the big ship touched down, the ramp opened fast. Wrecker tensed, until the figure silhouetted in the lights appeared. She was taller now, with a little ponytail, but it was her. “Omega!”

“Wrecker!” She jumped down the last three steps and went running for him, arms open. “Wrecker! I knew you’d come!”

He swept her up in his arms, holding her high. There were tears in her eyes and his, but he was so grateful she was alive and safe. “We crossed the galaxy four times looking for you.”

“Five. And it was you who found us.”

Omega wiggled down from Wrecker’s arms, breaking into real sobs at the familiar shape in the doorway of the Marauder. “Hunter!”

The sergeant cleared the steps two at a time and dropped to his knees to embrace her when she ran into his arms. 

Still on the cargo ship, Miria and Crosshair hung back just out of sight to give them their moment. Miria had made a sling to hold the baby to her chest out of cut blacks, and tucked her inside her coat to keep her warm. Her hand rested on Crosshair’s back gently. 

“They look so happy to see her.” He said quietly. 

“They're her brothers. And your brothers too.” She squeezed his hand. “They won’t turn you away.”

“What if they do?” He said quietly. “I know you said we’d go somewhere, but… we can’t protect her alone. My hand… I can’t shoot or fly reliably enough to keep you both safe. We need them.”

Miria shook her head, voice firm. “If you can’t shoot, I’ll shoot our enemies. If you can’t fly a ship, I will sit in the pilot seat. If you can’t walk, I’ll carry you myself. If you forget where you are, I will remind you. I choose you, Crosshair. I will always choose you.” 

 Crosshair brought her hand to his lips. “I choose you too.” He breathed, and they stepped out onto the ramp. He wanted to retreat, find a safe distance to observe and keep himself from having what little was left of him broken by the rejection… but Miria and Mayrin were there. He was committed to choosing them, if nothing else.

Wrecker and Hunter were still looking at Omega. Hunter slowly pulled back from the hug to look at her. Her sweet face had changed, grown up some, but it was still his girl. “How did you escape?”

“I had some help.” She turned and gestured. 

“Miri!” Hunter saw her first, and stood up to reach out and hug his best friend. Wrecker also grinned, until their eyes tracked her hand behind her and holding onto the one man they'd given up hope of ever seeing again. 

“Crosshair.” Wrecker said, expression going flat. He moved shoulder to shoulder with his sergeant, and as Miria and Crosshair made it to the bottom of the stairs she felt the divide between them had never been so wide. 

Crosshair looked down, and Miria tightened her squeeze on his hand. “It's good to see you both.” She smiled, pulling her sniper towards them. “If it's all the same to you, I'd like to recount the escape once we're far away from this ship. It has a tracking beacon.”

Hunter couldn't argue with her logic on that, and hustled her and Crosshair into the ship. Batcher came trotting after, pulling a little sled they'd cobbled together with two crates of formula and diapers on it. 

Hunter went and got them in the air silently, setting the navi-computer for Pabu before coming back to the hold. Omega was encouraging Batcher to climb into her room and out of the way to observe the reunion. Wrecker reached down for Miria excitedly, unable to contain his joy at seeing her any longer. 

“Gently, Wrecker. Delicate cargo.” She said softly before he could squeeze her, and Hunter frowned. 

“What's wrong? Are you hurt?” He circled her when Wrecker froze. Crosshair tried not to snap at him. Did he really think if Miria was hurt he wouldn't have been urgently demanding medical attention for her? They should know him better… they used to know him better. Before the Empire. 

“No, I'm not hurt. I'm just carrying a passenger.” Miria unzipped her coat and tugged back the wrap to reveal the baby's head. “This is Mayrin.”

“... who's baby is that?” Hunter was staring at the tiny girl, trying to decipher the artificial smell of something lingering on her skin under the formula and Miria's scent. 

“Ours.” Crosshair muttered. “She's our daughter.”

Wrecker blinked. “You had a baby?!”

His booming voice startled Mayrin awake and she began to cry, so Miria bounced and rubbed her back. “Shhh. Don't be frightened. It's only your ba'vodu Wrecker. He's not scary.”

Wrecker immediately dropped to a whisper. “I'm sorry.”

Crosshair wanted an out, and lightly tapped Miria's arm. “I'll take her.” 

Miria untied the wrap and carefully handed Mayrin over. Crosshair retreated to the back of the hold with her, and the new mother looked back at Wrecker and Hunter. Hunter raised an eyebrow. “You sure it's wise to give him access to your baby?”

“He's her father.” Miria said firmly. “You could show a little grace.”

“Miri. He chose the Empire over us on Kamino. How are we supposed to trust this?” Hunter almost sounded pleading. “How do we know it's safe to take him to Pabu?”

She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Because he brought your daughter and mine to you safely.” 

Hunter’s eye twitched. “That's not fair.” He already felt guilty enough he hadn't found Omega despite months of searching. Did she have to remind him he only had her back in his arms because of Crosshair?!

She sighed. “You made me a promise a long time ago, Hunter. If you can't trust him enough to keep it, can you at least trust me?” Her lavender eyes looked so tired, dark circles under them that highlighted the sharpness of her jaw from the weight she'd lost in captivity. 

He didn't have it in him to argue with his best friend in the galaxy when she'd been through so much. “Alright… we'll figure out how to work it out.”

“Thank you… I'm going to get my jewelry, and then I'm going to figure out where to put my daughter to sleep.” She sighed. 

Wrecker looked sheepish. “There's that footlocker we used to keep snacks in, in the galley. A couple pillows and a blanket in there would make an okay cradle, wouldn't it?”

Miria smiled and nodded. “Actually, yes. It would be secure, if we ever needed to close the lid to protect her.” She ran a hand back through her hair, outgrown now and past the curve of her ass. “It has soft-close hinges, right? I don't want it to slam…”

“Yeah, it does. I'll go get it, and some stuff from the bunkroom. I feel bad I made her cry.” Wrecker scrambled off. 

Miria headed for the bunkroom, Hunter on her heels. “We need to talk about what happened, Miri. How you made it out, and what happened to you.”

“Can this wait, Hunter? I need to get Mayrin settled and-” She trailed off when he grabbed her wrist. 

“I might not be nat born, Miri, but I know that you weren't gone long enough to get pregnant and give birth. And that baby smells off, too. Give me something.”

She gritted her teeth before grabbing the shirtfront of her prison uniform and untucking it from her pants to show him the raw incisions on her stomach. “Hemlock cut the parts he needed out of me to make her. She's Crosshair’s daughter, because my DNA would accept no sample but his. Ours, and we took her back from that monster.”

Hunter twitched again. “... he cut-”

“Yes, and Crosshair was there longer than I was, so just imagine what’s he’s been through.” She yanked her shirt back down and pulled her hand from his grip, turning to pluck her necklace and ring from the pillow shelf over her bunk. “I'm so tired, Hunter. But I did it. I found him. Just like Tech wanted…”

Hunter flinched at the lost brother's name and ran out of momentum for his distrust. “... when Echo visits, have him scan her for a chip?”

“Alright.” She rubbed her face. “... I'm sorry. I'm just exhausted. I haven't slept well in months. I'll be pleasant after I can just rest…”

Hunter sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Don't be sorry. I was the one being pushy… look, Crosshair isn't going to want to sleep in here for a while. I'll have Wrecker drag the bunk mattress into the hold, and you guys can have your space in there. We're living out of the ship on Pabu.”

She nodded and tiredly limped back towards the hold. “Thank you.” By the time she'd gotten back to the gunner's nest, Wrecker was holding the footlocker and talking to Omega. 

“Miri, why don't we mount the crate on the side of the gunner's seat? Mayrin can sleep in here with me.” Omega beamed. 

“Babies cry a lot, Omega. Especially at night.”

“That's okay. I'll help you with her.” Omega nodded. “Just teach me how to make bottles and change diapers.”

“You're a good auntie.” Miria smiled. “When she's sleeping through the night we'll do that. But right now, we want her close.” She took the box and linens from Wrecker and went to check on Crosshair. 

He was sitting on the floor in the back of the hold with Mayrin in his lap. In his hands he had a collection of fabric and a threaded needle, a pile of old rec clothes and a ripped cushion beside him. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself. What are you doing?” She knelt beside him, looking at Mayrin. The baby was draped across her dad's leg on her tummy, content again. 

“Making her something.” He shrugged. 

Miria inspected the gray and pink fabric. “You're making a Lula?”

“Who do you think made the first one?” He shrugged, cutting a thread with his teeth. “We were cadets. Wrecker cried at night, I wanted to sleep. It seemed like a good idea. 99 found me and helped me make it right. Wrecker never found out. Hunter probably knows. Tech definitely did.”

Miria smiled and watched him flip the fabric shell right side in before he started stuffing it with pillow fluff. “I didn't even know you could sew.”

“It's classified.”

“I'm your fiancée. What else don't I know.” Her head rested on his shoulder, eyes watching his hands move. There was no visible shake now, and she didn’t see any injury. It put her mind to rest somewhat,  

“... did I tell you I'm a twin?” He finally asked. “Sometimes in clones, one fetus splits into two in the tube. The longnecks separated them when they noticed… but Tech and I were like that. Before the enhanced mutations, we probably looked identical…”

Miria curled a little tighter to his side. “He loved you, you know.” She finally whispered. “He was as determined to find you as I was on Eriadu…”

Crosshair cleared his throat, putting the last bit of stuffing in the plushie and sewing it closed. “I know.” He finally murmured. 

They looked up as Wrecker brought them a mattress, pillows, and sheets for them. “Aww… she's so little.”

Miria made up Mayrin’s bed and let Crosshair tuck her and her new plushie in while she made them up a place to sleep. Tomorrow they could worry about privacy and comfort… but tonight, as soon as the two of them laid down and curled into each other they were asleep. It was the best rest either of them had gotten since the night before they landed on Kaller.

[tomyo]

My 2025 Gaming Goals:

Fighting against my backlog of games is the fact I bought a PSP recently. While the goal was to play through a bunch of games, I think this year will be paired with buying a bunch so I have things for my PSP. That being said I'm trying to force myself into two challenges.

By far, the greatest amount of games I have to play are for Sonic (9-10) and Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons (13-16). For each of them, I've tried to set up a challenge of how many I have to play to buy some bigger games on the list. There's kinda like 3 stages; one that's just a bullshit 1 game requirement, one that a few games, and then close to or the full list of games to buy the grand prize game. For Sonic; Shadow the Hedgehog is currently the bullshit 1 game req due to some copies being accessible rn when it's probs on the verge of jumping in price, midway is Rivals 2, Rush Adventure, and Zero Gravity as they're usually pretty midrange price($20-35), and then the grand prize is Sonic Shuffle which usually hits $70. Not a particularly liked game and I have a bunk copy of it but it's more for the beauty of the style it has. As for HM; low entry is Boy & Girl mostly because there's a cheap cheap copy I might win the bid on, midrange will be Story of Seasons due to its availability for new still, and the really grand prize for all of this is Hero of Leaf Valley which also tends to be $70 for a copy. Like I said I really want games for my PSP so I'm hoping it can motivate me. However I'm not that type of masochist and I'm making it a 10 game entry because up to 16 Harvest Moon games might kill me on top of all the other life stuff I have going on. Either way, the hope is to help curb spending on games by blocking impulsive spending (hah, we'll see if that works).

Overall though, here's my game hunts for 2025:

Sonic Rush Adventure

Sonic Rivals 2

Harvest Moon Hero of Leaf Valley

Story of Seasons

Shadow the Hedgehog ✅

Sonic Lost World

Sonic Riders Zero Gravity

Sonic Shuffle

Wii Party

Zelda 3ds Remakes

Sega Dreamcast Collection

ZombiU

Amiibo Festival

The Sonic Olympic Series

Sims 1 expansions

For PSP Specifically:

Sims 2 Pets

Sims 2 Castaway

Kingdom Hearts 365/2

Innocent Life

Little Big Planet

A handful of Japanese VNs

That one weird warioware knockoff

And the 2024 carry over:

Just Dance Kinect Series (2014-2019)

Nicola Series

Endless Ocean 1+2

Another Code R

Pokemon Dash

Ultra Sun (easy mode)

Fire Red/Leaf Green at a good price (impossible)

Black/BW2 at a decent price (impossible)

HM Magical Melody Wii

Wii Play Motion

World ends with you ✅

Wii U twilight princess

DuckTales wiiu

Finally for what I actually think I'll actually want to buy in 2025 from the above:

Little Big Planet

Sims 2 Pets

Sims 2 Castaway

Innocent Life

Hero of Leaf Valley

Story of Season

Sonic Rivals 2

Sonic Lost World

Shadow the Hedgehog ✅

Sonic Riders Zero Gravity

Dreamcast Collection

Amiibo Festival

ZombiU

Whatever unintentional finds of Sims, Just Dance or Pokemon Sun might be made.

I really want to utilize my PSP next year to which admittedly I'm a little embarrassed how little of games I want to play on it. Games like Rivals 2 and LBP only made it out of a need for cartoony games.

Anyway that's my ramble into the void. I feel I've thought more about gaming than actually gaming.

[prophbuilds]

MGSD ZGMF-X10A Freedom Gundam - A Review

This is a kit review that’s been a long time coming. This was Technically started all the way back in the June of 2023. Not unlike the previous Master Grade – the MG Astray Blue Frame D – this was started and stopped and moved all over the place around my room. Its box taking up a fair amount of space where ever it landed. Smash cut to a few nights ago. I’m buried under art supplies and old empty boxes. And while I’m moving things around… I come across this old chestnut.

Without further ado, here’s my review of the MGSD Freedom Gundam.

If you follow me elsewhere or have seen my other posts or just look at the kits in the pic at the top of this very post, you might know that I've become a fan of the SD Cross Silhouette line of Gundam kits. When I heard about what’s effectively the Master Grade version of their SD kits, I was confused but happy. I figured the SDCS line was the "Master Grade" version of their SD kits. After seeing the gimmicks and seeing how it's more of a build up than the kits I dig, I knew I had to try for one.

I get it in May of 2023. I polish off my long standing MG Astray build. Instead of doing the Smart thing of doing a smaller and/or less involved kit from my backlog, I crack this one open and start it. I shortly pack it all back up and set it aside because my shoulder was on fire from working on it. The “Fun” of a lifetime of drawing and a good couple of decades of not properly taking care of myself is things like my arm hurting after a night’s worth of work - be it hobby stuff or Art stuff.

Months go by and so do other builds. This one just kept moving from place to place with a promise that I’d get to it "Someday".

That Someday finally came a few night’s ago. I needed the room and it needed to be finished ‘cause, apparently, the Finished Kit is Smaller than The Box it Come In.

Enough yappin! Here’s the Build!

This was a bit of an interesting build. The kit itself snaps up very well but everything was Tight. The lenses for the eyes? Awesome but Tight. The tiny opening cockpit? An incredible detail for such a small and different shaped kit… that’s Tight. The little separate feather-type bits on the backpack? You get the idea.

There were times where I had to bust out my pliers and wrap the jaws in a cloth to help force parts together in that last little millimeter to get them together without putting marks on it. Although this was a pain (and almost wished they’d have chosen to use polycaps on some of the movable parts), this isn’t a bad thing now that it’s built.

The Freedom is a plastic on plastic build. With how tight the joints are, I don’t think I'll have to worry about it coming loose any time soon. If anything, I’ll have to worry about the joints bonding over time and the thing locking up or some parts possibly flexing themselves into breakage. The backpack is nearly as heavy as the Freedom itself making it want to lean back on its wings when not supported by a stand.

That said, this little guy is every bit a Master Grade as its 1/100th scale counterparts. I Love that it had a metric ton of hidden details no one will ever see once it was built. There’s detailing on the inside of the armor pieces, there’s details on parts of the frame that you’d never seen if unless you just keep everything separate. I know folks like to talk up the reflector bits in the wings but the eyes? The detailing on the eyes is next level. You can make out the camera bits in them without the need for lighting (Which I Wish this could’ve had all the same).

The other fantastic thing that this little kit has that’s directly attributable to the Absolute Tightness of the bits is it can take and hold a pose like no one’s business. It takes a minute to find the sweet spot for balancing it but, when you do, it looks so cool doing it. That’s thanks mostly to the scale. With everything either squished or exaggerated in some way, all the details are accentuated. It uses the MG style ball jointed poseable hands. But of course, it does. It is still a Master Grade, after all.

Some of the selling points for MGs are the extra bits and details color separation that you don't see in the standard HGs with an added size. This MGSD is much the same way. There’s a ton of nice color separation and moving gimmicks. It’s also almost as tall as an HG. Kinda’ funny considering it’s Technically part of the Super Deformed lineup. A line famous for its small cute size.

Ultimately, I really enjoyed this kit. Sure it was a bit of a pain at times to build and actively hurt me (Seriously. Kids, take care of your arms and shoulders Before issues arise.) but I can’t complain about the outcome.

I Can complain about the absolute Mountain of [Forbidden Sprinkles] it leaves behind, though. I’m going to be cleaning those little plastic bit out of my gear for weeks.

[pizzafishandchips]

AITSF finally finished, all the way to the end (i'm likely going to try and get all achievements since this type of game makes it relatively easy)

My thoughts:

Overall, enjoyed the fuck out of it, as someone who loves murder mysteries. Wish I had been monitoring my blood pressure throughout the last 10 hours because I've played games with more action and interactive gameplay that didn't come as close to giving me a heart attack as this game

Characters were so fun, helped a lot by phenomenal performances. Honestly I think this game has some of the best voice acting I've ever heard from the English dub (I love you Greg Chun they really let you throw your whole pussy into this) and I wish I could find a way to keep soundbites of some of my favorite lines just because they tickled me so much

Story was also super fun to play through - hardly any of my speculation ended up being right in the end and I'd never been happier about it. Had some weaker points in terms of some decisions in direction and writing but in a narrative as convoluted as this one it can't all be perfect. All in all I had so much fun playing thru all the branches and routes and gradually picking up all the little pieces of the greater mystery

I likely won't get to it for a while due to trying to be fair to the rest of my backlog but I'm looking forward to Nirvana Initiative (gonna miss a lot of the old cast though, oh Kaname Date the man that you are)

[mothguillotine]

IV.

Staying true to your word you showed up the next weekend and every weekend, snow being inevitably replaced by the green returning to the world. Neither you nor Sirius brought up the meeting after Christmas again, which made it obvious to you that he regretted what had happened. So you try to forget, try to stop thinking about him, but no matter how hard you try you just can’t.

On the other hand, at least the snow had melted and you could easily reach Hogsmeade. The days were longer now leaving you more time to spend at the clearing with Sirius. It hadn’t been awkward the times you visited after Christmas, but you could tell something was bothering him. Throughout the months of visiting him on the weekends, you watched as he became himself again. While still not completely put together, his overall look had improved greatly. He looked nearly completely different now, well everything except his teeth. Unfortunately, you had not found any books at the school about magical dentistry. At the bookstore in Hogsmeade, they had looked at you like you were crazy but ordered the book nonetheless. Today you finally received the book after the backlog of orders came through. 

While you were still fast asleep this morning, a loud *BANG* came from your window. You shoot up out of bed grabbing your wand from the side table, you walk over to investigate. When you open the window you are pleasantly surprised to see an owl with a package.

“Sorry, buddy,” you tell him, scratching his head. To which the owl drops the package and flies away. 

You cut the twine holding it together and tear open the brown paper wrapping, Dentistry: A How To. Just what you expected, the aforementioned book. You look through it, and many pages are full of diagrams of different types of teeth from wizards to werewolves. Flipping through the pages you find just what you are looking for, the ingredients and steps to make Dentiserum. Which, while a painful process, will regrow teeth. Unfortunately, the potion makes new teeth for you while pushing out your old ones. Ew. Looking at the list you realize that all of the items are going to be in Hogsmeade, making your life very easy in this regard.

So you get up for the day, putting on some clothes, brushing your teeth, dealing with your hair, and finally grabbing the book. When you leave your room, you go down the halls to the potions classroom. You peek your head in, making sure Snape isn’t in the room. In there, you steal a small cauldron and a vial, placing them in your bag with the book.

For the past few months you hadn’t really paid attention to much of the staff, save for Professor Lupin. Although you did hear that Hagrid’s hippogriff was under trial. You hated that an innocent animal was being punished for Draco’s stupidity. While you luckily had managed to avoid that little shit this year, last year he would constantly make remarks throughout your lectures. To say you had no love for him was an overstatement. 

As much as you wanted him to win you knew it would be near impossible given he was going up against the Malfoy’s. And last weekend when Hagrid came back from the trial visibly upset you knew you were right. Buckbeack’s execution was set for the following Monday which is tomorrow. Hagrid's mood had significantly darkened throughout the week leading up to Monday. 

Making your way back down the halls, footsteps echoing through the empty corridor, you are the only person awake enough to visit Hogsmeade at this moment. Although you suspect more people will join you given how nice of a day it was. Instead of the coat you usually wear you opt for overalls and a t-shirt. It was nice to be able to walk down the path to Hogsmeade without freezing at the end. 

The sun was out now no longer being hidden by the winter storm clouds, warmth radiated through you, feeling the sun on your face. When you get to the village you are quick to visit the alchemy store, picking up each of the necessary ingredients for the potion. The shop is near the entrance so you enter quickly to get the supplies. 

The shop is lined with shelves and baskets, each one labeled with the ingredients it holds. While outside the sun is bright, here it feels, dreary. Walking down the first aisle you scan the shelves for your ingredients.

“Do you need any help?” a voice asks from behind you, startling you. When you turn around you see an older woman, who is about the same height as you. Her hair is gray and cut short curling gently around her ears. 

“No,” you tell her, “I think I can get everything myself, but thank you.”

“Well if you need anything,” she says, “I will be over there.”

As you continue looking through the shelves, you feel her watching you. But when you look up she is looking at a book, checking inside the register, or keeping busy. While it takes you a while to look through each of the shelves for the ingredients, around fifteen minutes, you choose not to ask her for help, getting creeped out more by the second. 

“Did you find everything all right dear?” the older woman asks you at the register.

“Yeah,” you tell her, “How much is it?”

“Seventeen galleons,” she tells you with a bright smile.

You look through your bag for money, eyes landing on your wallet. Rifilliling through it, you pull out the coins and hand them to her. 

“You're the new herbology professor?” she asks, “Right?”

“Uh- yeah,” you respond, confused.

“Is this for a school project?” she asks you.

“Well, no,” you tell her, “It’s more of a- personal project.”

She holds out the little sack for you, full of the ingredients, “Well I just ask because my grandson is in your class.”

“Oh, what's his name?” you ask her.

“Rodney Striker,” she says, “Every weekend he comes by and tells me that you are his favorite.”

You know very well who her grandson is. Rodney Striker was a menace in your class, most definitely one of your least favorite students. Like many Slytherins, he had made your life trouble the moment he showed up on the first day of class months ago. So to hear this made you more than surprised, the correct term being mind-boggled. It wasn’t like you would tell her that though, even if he was the biggest troublemaker in his class.

“Ah, yes,” you tell her, faking a smile, “I believe I have him in the morning, he’s never late to my class.” 

“He gets his punctuality from his father’s side of the family,” she tells you laughing, laughing with her, I'll be it a bit uncomfortably. Why is she telling you all this? 

“Well, I have to get going,” you tell her, “It was nice meeting you.”

“It was nice meeting you too, dear,” she tells you.

You grab the sack off the counter and leave her shop. On the street there is a few students just arriving in the village, moving quickly to the edge of the increasingly busy street to make sure you aren’t spotted. The treeline is just beyond the buildings so you make a run for it, hoping the buildings block anyone's view. Dashing past the first few trees you slow down once you know you won’t be seen anymore. 

The forest is regaining the lushness it lost when it was cold. The once white-covered bare trees were now full of leaves. Green was almost completely surrounding you, with the exception of the sky, a brilliant blue. The walk down your path was pleasant, the birds chirped, rays of sunlight peak through the trees, and you picked a few flowers along the way. 

Continuing through the woods, you follow the familiar path that leads to the hidden clearing where you meet with Sirius. The air is filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers, and the sunlight dances through the foliage, creating a warm and serene atmosphere. Despite the pleasant surroundings, your mind is preoccupied with the events unfolding at Hogwarts, particularly the unjust trial of Hagrid's hippogriff.

As you approach the clearing, you see Sirius waiting patiently. His eyes light up as he sees you, and a smile plays on his lips. The magical world around you seems to dim as your attention is solely drawn to him.

“Hey,” Sirius greets you, standing up from the tree stump he was seated on.

“Hi,” you reply, a small smile forming on your face. 

You hand him the sack filled with alchemical ingredients, and he glances inside with curiosity, “Working on something interesting?” he asks.

“Just a potion to help fix your teeth,” you respond, “How was your week?”

Sirius shrugs, “Same old, same old. Avoiding Dementors, contemplating life choices, you know, the usual.”

You both share a chuckle, and the atmosphere lightens. Finding a comfortable spot on the ground, you settle in for your weekly meeting. Pulling out the cauldron and grabbing the ingredients from his hand.

As you discuss your week and share anecdotes, all while stirring the ingredients together. For a moment you both stay silent, Sirius's gaze shifts to the flowers you picked on the way here, “Those are beautiful,” he comments.

“Thanks,” you say, handing him the small bouquet, “I thought they might brighten up this place a bit.”

He takes the flowers, a genuine smile on his face. “You know, you bring light into this place every time you come.”

The sincerity in his voice catches you off guard, and you feel a warmth spreading through you. The connection between you and Sirius is undeniable, and even with the unspoken tension, there's comfort in being with him.

The conversation turns serious as you share the details of Hagrid's trial and the challenges he's facing. Sirius listens attentively, his expression growing more somber. “It's not right,” he mutters, “Hagrid doesn't deserve this and neither does that innocent animal.”

“I know," you agree, "But the Malfoys have a way of manipulating things. It's going to be tough for him.”

After you finish all of the instructions in the book, you reach for the vial in your bag, pouring in the potion from the cauldron. 

“For you kind sir,” you say in a faux British accent, trying to lighten the mood. 

Sirius crinkles his nose, “How long have you lived here?”

“Oh, shut up,” you tell him laughing, holding the vial out to him.

“You are not trying to poison me?” he asks, “Right?”

“I think that if I wanted to poison you I would have put it in the food,” you tell him, “Which I have been giving you for months. So why would I try to kill you now?”

“Just curious,” he says, “I- i was joking by the way…”

“Yeah, I know,” you tell him laughing, “Anyways, the potion is going to hurt pretty bad, you can read all about it.”

“Ahh, yes, another book,” he says.

“The pictures in that one are horrifying to look at,” you tell him, thinking about the monstrosities of diseases in that book.

You hand him the vial full of light blue liquid, “It takes a few hours to work and you will be in pain the whole time.”

He gives you a wry smile, “Well, bottoms up, I suppose.”

With a swift motion, Sirius brings the vial to his lips and drinks the potion. Almost immediately, a surge of magical energy emanates from the concoction. Sirius winces, his features contorting in discomfort. You watch with concern as the potion works its effects on him, Sirius sits on the ground next to you holding his jaw with both hands. 

As the next few hours go by you try to comfort Sirius as much as you can, rubbing his back whenever he seems to be in especially bad pain. About an hour into it, the first tooth comes out, and then another, then another. At one point all of his teeth had fallen out of his mouth, and his pain seemed to let up for a bit, letting him catch his breath. After though the pain returned, teeth growing in at an alarmingly fast pace. 

Another hour or so passes before Sirius has a full set of new teeth, grabbing his mirror he examines his new set of pearly whites. 

“Bloody hell,” he exclaims, “You did it!”

“What can I say,” you tell him, “I suppose I am just amazing.”

“More than amazing,” he says, “You have been helping me so much, I just don’t know how I could ever repay you.”

“You act like I don’t want to do this,” you tell him, “I want to help, not just because of Harry, you are innocent, I’ve believed that since the first time I met you. I want to help you.”

Sirius looks at you, a genuine gratitude in his eyes. “It means more to me than you know. Having someone believe in my innocence, it's... well, it's a rare and precious thing. You've become a beacon of light in this dark period of my life.”

You offer a reassuring smile, “You deserve to have your name cleared, Sirius.”

“Thank you for everything,” he says.

“I have to get back to the castle,” you tell him, “Next week are exams so of course all of my students are turning their papers in at the last minute.”

“You must be everyone's favorite professor,” he tells you, “All of my professors wouldn’t take any late assignments.”

“Trust me, I am not everyone's favorite professor,” you tell him, “Many of my Slytherin students do not feel the same.”

“They just don’t want to admit it because you were in Gryffindor,” he tells you, “I have said it once, and I will say it again, I wish that-”

You cut him off, “That I was your professor, yeah,” you laugh, “You’ve said it more than once.”

“We need to talk about the rat problem,” he says, “It’s almost the end of the year and Ron hasn’t brought Peter to Hagrid’s once.”

“I’ll ask him about it,” you tell him, “Maybe I can get him to go to Hagrid’s with him on Friday or something to say goodbye.”

“Okay, Friday it is,” he says.

“What?” you ask, “Like the plan is happening on Friday?”

“We need to do it before the school year ends,” he tells you.

“Okay, I’ll talk to Ron tomorrow,” you tell him, beginning to pack up all of your belongings.

<Previous Part/Next Part>

Masterlist

[golbrocklovely]

i'm really lost, can you explain the timeline of Colby going from ms singer to m? just super confused about it all hahah

of course anon, i would love to lol

i'm actually genuinely happy someone finally asked me something like this bc i've been seeing a lot of misinformation and i'm really tired of it.

i'm explaining everything, pictures and all. i'm blurring out ppl's names and sticking to the codes names i've given the girls involved. i get that you can find these names relatively easy, i'm just not gonna be the place for you to do so.

some of the things i'm gonna mention don't have physical proof, bc they were in a live stream or just stuff i didn't take ss of. but trust me everything i'm gonna say is real and not me making shit up.

so… let's start from the beginning.

the first major misconception that i've seen is that colby and ms singer got together back in march, dated until october/november, and then colby just haphazardly moved onto m. ppl say this bc they use the pic of them out that leaked and compare it to the pic of her wearing the same outfit in march on her insta.

now idk how this got lost in translation, but ppl are trying to say it's m in the pic??? it's not, but cool that you guys want to believe that lol

but again, this fandom is holding onto "oh well, her pic on insta is from march, so that means that a, this pic was taken in march, and b, they have been together since then". respectfully, did yall forget that ppl rewear clothes? just curious.

i also literally saw her, on her story, post the exact same outfit, but in november. so....

the pic of him and ms singer is not from march. it got post on tiktok in october.

and HERE is colby, at universal horror nights, which is where the photo was taken, meeting a fan.

now, this might not proof enough, bc he could have just been dating her secretly and this was the first time they were "caught" in public. but let's be forreal for two seconds. first off, in march, he was deciding whether or not to get chemo. and on top of that they were working nonstop to have backlog content in case of him getting chemo. neither one of them had gfs or time for gfs.

on top of all of this, i have more proof that they didn't start seeing each other until september. colby did not even follow her until sept 21ish. i know this bc i keep track of who he follows and when. yes, i know it's weird. idc. here's other ppl he followed at that time:

the black box is ms singer's name.

now, onto the stuff i don't have proof of - right as all this information was blowing up, ms singer started getting more viewers on her tiktok livestreams. one of the first ones she had after the above tiktok dropped, she was asked during her livestream what's the best date she was on and she said it was one that happened recently, most likely alluding to colby's (with sam in tow most likely with k/la girl).

the biggest proof of them all is that ms singer herself said in a livestream that she didn't meet colby until september. she outwardly said that. i have friends who heard her say that, not just anons that randomly tell me things. actual ppl i have convos with daily.

now, we have to move on to how he got with m. everything this point down will just be complete speculation on my part. the only proof i have is that colby did not start following m until the day after sam's bday. she was at the party after the marathon bc k brought her there (and k was also there obviously).

personally, what i believe happened was that ms singer was very heavy handed on the fact that she personally wants to get married and have kids soon even tho she's only 21. she said it multiple times on tiktok. idk why you want to rush into that type of stuff, but hey, you do you. that being said, most likely, while they both enjoyed their time together, colby is not exactly ready to settle down and have kids anytime soon. so he most likely backed off of ms singer.

after halloween, ms singer was no where to be found with colby. what i believe happened is since k/la girl and sam were already together, she decided to bring along m to sam's bday bash. m and colby clicked, and they spent all this time together.

now, when it comes to ms singer and k and m being in some weird little drama where ms singer feels slighted - first off, i have no clue about any of that for certain. ms singer continues to be vague, for good reason, and so it's hard to know what happened. if i was ms singer, i too would be a bit pissed if my friend brought some other girl to be around the guy i was into, just bc he wasn't into me. i'm not trying to say all of this isn't messy. it is to some degree, but i don't fully blame k. colby is a grown man. if he wanted to continue his friendship with ms singer after they "broke up", he would have. clearly, it just wasn't in the cards. or maybe he felt awkward being friends with her still after moving onto someone she knew/is somewhat friends with.

okay, i think that's everything. if there is anything else you need me to explain, feel free to ask. the only reason i really wanted to answer this kind of ask was bc i've heard some whispers via comments on tiktok and twitter and whatever else that some fans think or believe that sam cheated on kat with k just bc ms singer (who is good friends with k) and kat knew each other. bc they think the timing of everything is "suspicious".

first off, kat and sam broke up in march. ppl mistakeningly believe ms singer was in the picture around this time, which is why they think k/la girl is also in the picture. that's just factually not true. secondly, sam was literally fuckboying his ass up during the summer: he followed multiple asian girls (like almost 10) in julyish before during and after japan, danced and spent the night with that random girl that was on jc's stream during his party (while colby had fun with her friend, mind you), and then ppl speculated that he had a thing with niki going on too. that boy was having fun during this period prior to september, which is when he ACTUAL started seeing k/la girl. and third, if sam or kat cheated on one another, i'm 99% certain we would have known way before now. they literally explained in their break up video that nothing actually happened, sam just wasn't ready for marriage. not to mention, if he did cheat, YALL AIRING IT OUT IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT. if they were hiding something like that from us, realistically it would be for good reason. it's not your business to share that intimate of details.

and before anyone gets on my ass about that comment, everything i'm sharing with yall is already public info. i'm not speculating, minus what happened between ms singer and la girl. but even bits of that have been told by ms singer herself so… don't come for me lol

[juuheizou]

what makes mutsuki genuinely angry/upset? how does he act and how to make amends?/also how does he like phisical affection ir affection in general seriously i love this pookie so muchh i just want to drown him in love and softness and gentleness🥹

SAME SAME SAME.

He is deeply upset by injustice and suffering of others, canonically to the point of doing reckless shit just to try helping. We know seeing his teammate in turmoil or even a stranger possibly walking into peril clouds his judgment and I can see him needing to break down after working a particularly tragic or gruesome case because how can something so terrible happen to someone?

I can also see him denying within an inch of his life that he is ever angry on his own behalf, but he does have smaller, more personal things that make him angry, or hurt, which it can be hard to tell the difference when you're in the thick of either one. He truly likes to help others and doesn't mind going out of his way for those he cares about, but it hurts when his efforts are taken for granted without so much as a 'thank you,' especially if he's met with criticism or mockery for that effort. I could also see some anger making its way through his bleeding heart if someone messed up something he had spent a lot of time and effort on, or the one thing in forever that was supposed to just be for him.

When he's angry or something in that vein, he tries so, so hard to calm down, breathe through it, bottle it up, whatever it takes to keep being calm and patient with everything. He's the type to keep saying that he's fine even when his voice is breaking while he says it. But the more upset he gets, the harder it is to calm down, so he gets snappy and passive-aggressive at small things that he normally tolerates, like 'a dirty dish or two in the sink' small. Then it evolves into similar short, moody behavior over nothing. Someone can simply be in the wrong place at the wrong time. When he finally explodes, he can be prone to yelling at people, even if what they actually did in the moment doesn't in any way warrant being yelled at.

As far as making amends with him for something, he is a pretty forgiving guy. To a fault, even. True, like anyone, he appreciates changed behavior more than anything and as he grows and achieves a relatively healthy adult level of assertiveness, he is better at drawing the line when that doesn't ever happen. However, a lot of the time he will still accept the most basic bitch apology and it takes mistakes and consequences on his part for him to stop accepting amends that aren't really amends.

This poor boy so seldom thinks he deserves affection, and will deflect, deflect, deflect no matter how much he wants or likes what another person is doing for him. When we first meet him, he has a hard time even knowing, let alone articulating, how he likes to be shown affection, because it's just a far-off idea he doesn't deserve and has no idea how to accept. Deep down, though, all this deflecting leads to him having a backlog of things he likes the idea of and thinks might be nice. It's another as-he-gets-more-confident thing for him to even realize it himself, but he likes it when people thank him for all he does for the people he cares about, when they compliment him or something he did, or just tell him he can do something he's nervous about or he's helpful or he's handsome. He also loves it when his friends and loved ones carve out something special to do together, even if it's just coffee or watching a movie.

Physical affection is especially hard for him, but once he makes it past the first, biggest barrier he has up from all he's been through, he's in the deep end and I can see him having a bit of a needy phase when he first realizes that it's safe to allow someone he really trusts to touch him, though it would probably temper itself on its own with time to get used to that safety and trust. Just like all types of affection and attention, he has that same backlog of untried fantasies that he just cocoons himself in, which also contributes to that initial needy phase. I think he likes kisses, cuddling, even a simple hug, as the cherry on top of a special, sweet moment, whether it be an honest-to-goodness date or just a few seconds alone together. When it comes to SFW stuff, he likes soft, gentle touches and protective cuddling that makes him feel safe and cherished.

[author-chan06]

The Copy Club! The Plot

Chapter 4—

The Final Chapter

— Is Now Out!

Here: The Copy Club! The Plot

The final chapter of this story! Man I worked on this for weeks, trying to make sure I didn’t mess any of this last installment up ahah

If you’re wondering why I didn’t post about the others when you they were posted, it’d because, well, I hadn’t made this account yet. And I’m not even going to try and go back and do so, I have so many stories that it would end up just being spam, and it probably would take a long time anyway. So while I’ll be posting about my stories here now when I post them on ao3, if you want to see any of the older stuff then just go ahead and look at my ao3 account.

Also News!

I’m just gonna post what my ao3 authors note says as it explains things pretty well I think:

“As a matter of fact, I already have quite a few ideas, and one series that is already on here. So that will be the next thing I’ll be focusing on. That series being: Writings That (Probably) Should Have Stayed Private (But Didn't). Which is— go figure— also going to be revolving around Roman. But it’s from the perspective of the other sides! Mainly Patton, but I might add others. Not sure yet as I’m still prewriting some of it and debating some of the the ideas I want to add. I’ve gotten some of the next part written, though, that I need to edit. So it shouldn’t take a long time to have the next part done. Or the part after that one either. Which means it shouldn’t be long before I can start posting them.

If you’re interested you can go on over and see what the series looks like so far and look at the series notes for what it will be become (and there will be quite a bit of poetry in it, if that’s something that you like) But, anywho, I have an announcement to make!

The end of the school year is here! Which means, of course, projects and finals for me! Yay ^^; And I will unfortunately have less time to write and edit and do all the things that allow me to post on here [ao3] regularly. (Like I have a really big project for one of my classes that, even though though I have a B in that class, could tank my grade if I do bad!) So for that, and so that I will have some time to work on writing more of the series and my backlog, I will not be posting for a while.

I’m going to be having a short, about two month long, hiatus.

This hiatus will last until July 5th, when I will be posting the first chapter of the next part of the series I was talking about, and also posting another shorter story that I’ve been thinking about for a while now.

(Also! I have a new tumblr!

https://www.tumblr.com/author-chan06

I take requests. So if you want some type of story don’t hesitate to send them to my inbox! They will be looked at and or published, depending on when I want to write them, after the hiatus is over with

And during the hiatus I will definitely still be posting to tumblr— these posts will include how prewriting and writing for things are going, with my next series and my more long term fics and some oneshots I have in the works. And some headcanons and some writing requests I get, if I get some, over there. I might even post some snippets of the upcoming fics I was talking about! So if you’re curious about any of that, then go check it out!)”

But yeah. So a hiatus from ao3. Like it said, I’ll still be posting here. I just won’t have the time for the consistency I want for ao3. But in the meantime! If you have any headcanon requests or just requests in general for any of the ships or fandoms I like, please send them! Talk about my stories/ideas with me, talk about your stories/ideas with me, talk about my ships, talk about your ships! I’m really obsessing over Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss right now, so if you want something from those, or if you want to talk about that, I will probably be *extra* ecstatic and willing to do those!

Anywho! If I don’t end this now, I’ll just ramble forever ahah, so see you soon, darling readers~! <3 <3

[thessalian]

Thess vs A Return to Normalcy

Updates from the workplace, and the news is ... for once, not terrible.

See, turns out that Scruffman came in on Sunday, along with the other part-timer (who has been petitioning for more hours and I think she's going to get them at this rate), and really registered the massive dent I made in the backlog. Because seriously, that whole week we went from just under 300 to just under 150 and that was about 95% me. So we're finally back down to the low-mid double digits in terms of the size of the typing queue, and I have a feeling Scruffman had a general sense of, "Ooh. [Thess] did a lot. [Thess] should not have been doing that much, I know that."

Scruffman does not have the best communication skills, mind - especially not over email. He sent an email going, "Give me a bell ASAP" and actually included his number, which I have had stored on my phone for literally years, so I thought there was going to be something urgent and horrible. Because, you may recall, he was going to touch base with me today about potentially having to drag my poor fibro-riddled carcass over to fucking Hampstead owing to lack of bums in seats. I was concerned that this was going to be a call where Issues were brought up.

However, no, this was his way of saying, "I has a concern and want to make sure you're okay after the hours you put in last week". I didn't pull punches, either. He asked how I was doing, which is how he starts all telephone conversations, really, and I just told him, "I seriously overdid it last week". I could hear the gears turning as he was going, "Oh. Yeah. Oh, right" before moving on to the whole thing about the various unexpected absences.

So ... turns out that Violet, Goblin, and Temp are all out at the moment, though Goblin and Temp are apparently coming back on Friday. He's got Other Part-Timer coming in tomorrow, so it's really only Thursday where there might be a requirement for me to come in. But apparently that's only if Scruffman himself takes ill or something else goes entirely to hell. It was pretty clear that he was trying desperately hard not to make me go into the office, particularly after the couple of weeks I've already put in. He also recognised that I do more typing when I'm at home than I do at the office, and then surprised me further by going, "I don't necessarily mean overtime or anything!" like he very much doesn't want me to have to do any more of that either.

So the overall gist is, "Things are back to normal, we will try to manage things without forcing you on to public transport, thank you for all the help and we promise we're not going to make you do too much more of that!" I'm not sure what happens with my overtime - whether it's Time Off In Lieu or actual money, but I think I'll find that out when Head Honcho comes back from his own holidays ... or rather, when I come back from mine because he's away until next week and I'm off next week.

I very much need to be off next week. I haven't fully recovered yet. But at the very least my house is full of nice foods to have that don't require too much in the way of cookery. I did up a pork roast last night so I have leftovers from that. There's a roast chicken that's good in the fridge until Friday, which gives me time to do things with the leftover pork roast and with the duck legs and pork chops I got on sale with this month's grocery shop. But tonight, since I am exhausted (whoever was typing with me today also left me with the longer bullshit - thankfully there were no ten-minute atrocities but if I see one more placenta report this week I'm going to lose my damn mind), it will be leftover roast pork with mashed potato and an asparagus/tenderstem broccoli medley, with an appetiser of gluten-free mozzarella sticks (which, yes, still have the lactose issue but I have Lactaid so I can still have my breaded hot cheese) and possibly a salad. I did actually eat today! Okay, not lunch, but two pieces of gingerbread as breakfast went really well with my morning coffee.