#trying to make an effort to grow my hair out now that i have Pills That Make Me Less Bald

[besnouted]

god grant me the strength to walk into great clips for a functional hair trim

[faerie-goth]

Magic and Mayhem

Lys was having a study session on potions in an unused lecture room with Toa.  In walks Guy, who immediately starts harassing them both for no apparent reason aside from the fact that it’s Toa, and she’s there willingly.  With Toa, and not him.

In all her infinite wisdom (mostly Marvel movies and fantasy novels), Lys decides to attempt to teleport the two of them out of there. 

Problem 1: Teleportation magic is not something that is done in Saliglia.  Maybe eons ago with the use of runes, but not like this.

Problem 2: Guy was there to see her do this.  Yes, he already knew about her powers, but it gives him yet another reason to target her.

Somehow she and Toa safely make it to the music room, where she promptly passed out.  He’s absolutely flabbergasted as to what just happened, or how, but simply picks her up and carries her to his room so that he can tend to her away from prying eyes.

After about four hours she awakens, rather groggy and confused to her unfamiliar surroundings.  Her head was pounding and fuzzy, like she had a massive hangover, but the last thing she could remember was studying with Toa...who sat right next to her with a book for some reason?

Somehow he had picked up that Lys had regained consciousness before she even had the chance to struggle against the thick blankets to get up.  Which, the increasing of the pounding in her skull told her was a very bad idea right now.  The look he gave her spoke both of concern and a good deal of the typical ‘What the fuck did you just try this time’ she had come to expect from the man. 

Pinching the space between his eyes, he left the bed and came back with something. “Take these first, and then we’ll talk,” he said with a sigh.  He held out a glass of water and a few pills in a little dish. 

Toa waited for her to take both pills and drain half the glass before he began to speak.  “Magical exhaustion,” he said by means of an explanation.  “Most of us have experienced it at one point or another growing up, but you...” he motioned, not wanting to speak of her origin any more than necessary. 

Lys rubbed her head with the palm of her hand in an effort to alleviate some of the pressure she was feeling, then grimaced.  “Well, there’s a first time for everything, I suppose.”

He grabbed for her other hand and forced her to look him in the eye, needing her to understand the gravity of the situation.  “Lysandra, you could die if you use too much magic too quickly.  I was really....really worried about you for a moment.”

“I...Toa...”

“Promise me you won’t try that again...whatever that was.  Promise me.”

“Toa...”

“What was that, by the way?”

“Toa, you’re still holding my hand.”  She looked at him in half shock, half amusement.

“And the problem is?”  Still in his hand, he brought it to his lips for a kiss.  She blushed profusely at the unexpected gesture of affection, but did not pull away. 

“Lysandra, I care about you very, very much.  Please, do not put yourself in a position where not even I can save you.”  The blue haired prince rubbed her hand gently, needing to reassure himself that she was still there, still warm, still alive after that little scare.

She chose her words slowly, still not quite sure if she was imagining that Prince Toa, of all people, might actually harbor feelings for her.  “I...ah...well, I seem to have succeeded in teleporting the two of us...”

“I’m not sure that ‘succeeded’ is the right word, if it knocked you out cold for four hours,” Toa snarked back.

“Would you have preferred Guy as my tutor?”

Toa rolls his eyes with a snort. 

“I see we’re in agreement then.  Can you help me work on it?  We can start small, but it might come in handy some day.”

He pondered it for a moment, needing to think of what exercises might be best to work up to something that should not be remotely possible.  For anyone other than Lys, apparently. 

“Obviously I’m going to be helping you strengthen your abilities regardless, but what sort of trouble do you intend to get us into here?” His grin belies his true feelings on the matter.  He had loved her curious nature and zeal for learning new things, but she was always surprising him. And this particular surprise...well, it was impressive, but was it worth repeating?

“It’s not like I’m intentionally looking for trouble!”  She huffed.  “I just...don’t know the extend of my own abilities yet.  But I want to be able to help you Toa.  Please.”

His face immediately softened at her plea.  Although he struggled with accepting help from anybody, having someone who cared about him enough to recklessly endanger themself was... well, it was sweet, but still required a good deal of caution.  He would definitely need to keep an eye on her.

He sighed in defeat.  Whether this woman was going to be a good or a bad influence on him, only time would tell, but for now he could not bear to tell her no.

“We are going to start small.  Very small.  You are banned from pulling that little stunt again until we work up to it, unless you are in immediate danger.”  He paused for a moment once he realized that he had unintentionally reverted back to lecture mode. 

“Thank you, Toa!” Lys launched herself at him for a hug.

“Oof,” the blue haired prince heaved at the momentum, trying not to let the pair go careening backward and landing them in a rather awkward position that he definitely was not ready for.  He froze at the sudden contact, unused to such displays of affection (or any, really), but his arms eventually ended up where they were supposed to be.  “Well, at least you have enthusiasm.”

[the-cat-chat]

January 6, 2024

Carrie (1976)

Carrie White, a shy, friendless teenage girl who is sheltered by her domineering, religious mother, unleashes her telekinetic powers after being humiliated by her classmates at her senior prom.

JayBell: Stephen King Month 2024 begins with a classic, Carrie. We debated about which version of Carrie we should watch and settled on this one, arguably the more well-known one.

Let's start with the things I like about this movie. I like the overall story. Abused daughter of an extremely religious mother, desperately trying to grow up in conditions that target her sense of worth and self-confidence. Carrie is a figure that you root for throughout, even as she finally breaks in the end.

The mother-daughter scenes I think stole the show. The actress who plays the mother managed to create incredible tension. Like Carrie, the audience almost holds their breath through the scenes, balancing on a wire, waiting for the mom to snap. The balance of power shifts between the two throughout the movie, each vying for control. Seeing Carrie act on her own power, without concern for her mom is both liberating and foreboding.

Now on to my grievances. First, the beginning locker room scene doesn't need to be as pervy as it is. And second, my biggest holdup with this movie is the ex "friend?" of Carrie, Sue. She constructs this big plot to have her boyfriend ask Carrie to the prom so she can have a good time or something. She goes through all this effort to "help" Carrie, even loaning out her boyfriend, and she doesn't even have a conversation with Carrie in the movie. I wanted a stronger reason for her actions. Also, has she never considered umm apologizing? Like saying I'm sorry for being an asshole? Maybe sit with her at lunch, hang out with her and make up for her action (or inaction) instead of this stupid plan.

Also, the female teacher is so hard to get a read on. Like she supports Carrie but she's also kind of abusive? I don't know. And finally, the end scene with Carrie snapping is kind of anticlimactic but I don't know if this is a limit to the special effects or something.

In the end, it's hard to compare movies like Carrie to what I like to call the heavy hitters (The Green Mile and Shawshank Redemption). But I'm going to give it more props simply because of the mother-daughter dynamic.

Rating: 6/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: Im not gonna lie- even tho im jazzed for Stephen King Month 2024- I was kinda like meh?? About Carrie- like existed but its from the 70s (being a notorious hater of the 70s horror we’ve watched bc the peeps are so dumb) and a girl gets revenge on the mean girls- right?? No- within seconds it had me.

First- the gym shower deal is so weird- like was that allllll necessary- cut to Carrie showering- uhhh who showers like that- excuse me for absolutely dissociating while I try remembering if I’ve already washed my face- but I think the answer is no one- then we have our big moment- and Carrie goes ballistic- and I completely pardon her from anything she does in the remaining run time of the movie. Bc those girls were sooo annoying and rude about a period - like maybe if you were 12? And even then you deserve what Carrie would do.

- quick aside:::: uhhhhhh why’s this or teacher slapping girls left and right???

Anyways Carrie’s mom totally needs some conditioner and a couple chill pills- like for realz. And then the plot to apologize by giving your bf to Carrie as a date to prom? Also was it a rule you couldn’t go to prom without a date bc that’s kinda something. Omigaaawd and the whole time these girls are insanely annoying and twisted and I’m so glad the one with the dumb hat had horrendous bangs.

- another aside::::: questions on the creepy Jesus in “Carrie’s Closet,” why do his eyes glow? Why’s he got real hair??????

But yeah- everything is total cringe in a bad way, yet survivable? The prom especially and like I felt like I had take a drug and everything slowed down…. Bc that tooook 4ever- like the one girl Sue who comes to I guess make sure her bf and Carrie win queen and king??? To figure out the bucket is above them and evil Chris and her stoopid dog of a bf (literally a golden retriever with only half a brain) are under the stage with the rope??? And then the pe teacher uuggg so dumb. Ohh and quick question- Tommy Ross keeps kissing Carrie (like was that part of the deallll) idk it’s a lot.

But the end that’s something. And I have to say I’m not a whimp- but the jump scare got me so bad I scared my cat. So that’s gotta be worth 4 points alone.

Rating: 6/10 Cats 🐈

[olko71]

New Post has been published on All about business online

New Post has been published on https://yaroreviews.info/2023/08/uk-interest-rates-to-stay-higher-for-longer-bank-of-england-says

UK interest rates to stay higher for longer, Bank of England says

Getty Images

By Dearbail Jordan

Business reporter, BBC News

Interest rates will stay higher for longer, the Bank of England has said for the first time, in an effort to battle soaring price rises.

The Bank revealed the tactic to try and curb the rising cost of living as it raised rates again to 5.25% from 5%.

Borrowing costs are now at their highest for 15 years, and will mean higher mortgages and loans payments but should also mean higher savings rates.

The Bank was more downbeat on growth, but said the UK would avoid recession.

On Thursday, the Bank signalled for the first time that it would keep interest rates higher and that they would remain higher until it got UK inflation – the rate at which prices rise – under control.

It said it would make sure rates are “sufficiently restrictive for sufficiently long” but did not spell out how long this would be.

“We know that inflation hits the least well-off hardest and we need to make absolutely sure that it fall all the way back to the 2% target,” said Bank of England governor Andrew Bailey.

The Bank’s inflation forecasts have been incorrect in the past, with six of the last eight too optimistic.

Mr Bailey says it is now “more assured” that inflation will fall than in previous forecasts.

He also says the economy has been “much more resilient” than some had feared and that unemployment remains historically very low.

Follow live: Reaction to latest interest rate rise

How an interest rate rise affects you

Before December 2021 when the Bank starting to raise interest rates, they had been under 1% for more than 13 years.

A lot of what happens to inflation in the coming years will depend on the jobs market and on pay, Mr Bailey said adding that private sector pay has risen more than expected in recent months.

The Bank has been putting up interest rates to try to slow price rises, with the aim of making it more expensive to borrow money and reducing people’s spending.

Jo Bevilacqua

Peterborough hair salon owner Jo Bevilacqua says she understands the economics behind rate rises, but it is a “hard pill to swallow” given that her business is reliant on consumer spending “We are still in pandemic recovery mode. We don’t want people to be spending less. Our livelihoods are in their hands,” she says.

“If they are not spending money then we can’t keep our doors open, pay our staff or pay our suppliers.” Jo’s own finances are not immune from the rates pain either. She moved onto an interest-only mortgage when her business was struggling.

“I need to be in a position where everything calms down to be able to re-mortgage. It comes to me as a three-pronged attack. There are my own mortgage payments going up, but there are also my staff and customers.”

How are interest rate rises affecting you? You can get in touch the following ways:

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The Bank said the impact of its rate rises would begin to hit people and the economy harder next year, with growth continuing to be sluggish and smaller than it was before the pandemic for some time.

A growing economy means there are more jobs, companies are more profitable and can pay employees and shareholders more. The higher wages and larger profits also generate more money for the government in taxes.

Rising food prices have been one of the biggest drivers of inflation, but the Bank said there was evidence that the increases were slowing, “albeit only gradually”.

The Bank also said there was no evidence that companies were benefiting from so-called “greedflation”, by putting prices up more than necessary to bolster profits.

It said “corporate profits have been little changed” over the past two years “suggesting that firms increasing prices to raise their margins is not currently a significant contributor to inflation”.

The minutes from this month’s meeting revealed that there was a three-way split between members of the Bank’s Monetary Policy Committee over the direction of interest rates.

Of its nine members, six, including the governor, voted for rates to rise to 5.25%. In contrast, two wanted a more aggressive increase to 5.5% while the remaining member voted to hold rates at 5%.

What to do if I can’t pay my debts

Talk to someone. You are not alone and there is help available. A trained debt adviser can talk you through the options. Here are some organisations to get in touch with.

Take control. Citizens Advice suggest you work out how much you owe, who to, which debts are the most urgent and how much you need to pay each month.

Ask for a payment plan. Energy suppliers, for example, must give you a chance to clear your debt before taking any action to recover the money

Check you’re getting the right money. Use the independent MoneyHelper website or benefits calculators run by Policy in Practice and charities Entitledto and Turn2us

Ask for breathing space. If you’re receiving debt advice in England and Wales you can apply for a break to shield you from further interest and charges for up to 60 days.

Tackling It Together: More tips to help you manage debt

Additional reporting by Peter Ruddick

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4 hours ago

How an interest rate rise affects you

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23 June

[messers-moony]

King and Queen | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Fem!Potter!Reader, James Potter X Fem!Twin!Reader

Summary: James goes through a lot during his time at Hogwarts but his sister is always by his side.

Inspiration: Click

A/N: If this comes off insensitive to anyone please let me know and I will remove this.

James Potter was a handful. From the minute he was born, he had this gleam in his hazel eyes that raged and burned with trouble. His twin, Y/n Potter, was almost the opposite. The soft smile that laid on her features and the glitter of calamity in her eyes. Euphemia and Fleamont were in for a lot the minute their twins were born. 

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is most comparative to having a web browser up with one too many tabs. James had always been unable to focus and was naturally messy. Truth be told, he thought it was normal, just as everyone else did. It wasn’t until his second year at Hogwarts did he realize something was genuinely wrong with him. 

Remus told him that he had this muggle thing called “dyslexia,” which was a difficulty in interpreting words, letters, and other symbols. However, it never affected his overall intelligence because everyone knew that Remus Lupin was indeed and wholly brilliant. It got James wondering, did his inability to focus, be organized, and hyperactivity have a deeper meaning?

His twin - Y/n - was quite the opposite. She made quick friends with Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who were close friends of her twin. Y/n was top of their class, creating a friendly competition with Remus, but she was always able to focus. Often she would hyper-focus, which would leave her working for over five hours at a time without realizing it. In those times, James would have to snap her out of it. 

Over the summer, James expressed his concerns to his parents. He was talking about how this could be a real issue he’s facing using Remus’ dyslexia as an example. Eventually, they gave in, letting James go to a muggle doctor. James had to fill out a questionnaire that would come back with his results in one week. That week was probably the longest week of his life. Nonetheless, his test results had come back positive. 

Fleamont and Euphemia would be lying if they were surprised. After hearing about the disorder, it was almost the definition of their eldest son. Fortunately for James, the muggles had come up with a cure - no, not a cure - dammit, what was it again?

Impede the symptoms! That’s what those muggle pills do. James was required to take two pills a day, one in the morning and once at night. Y/n was in charge of making sure he did so because - more times than he’d like to admit - he would forget everything if it wasn’t for Y/n. 

In third year, James was as energetic as ever while getting on the Hogwarts Express, “Aren’t you excited, Y/n?!”

She chuckled, “Yes, but Merlin, you don’t need to literally jump with joy.”

“But I’m excited!”

“I know that.”

They made their way to the compartment that held Remus, who was reading a book. James sat in front of him while Y/n took her seat beside Remus, “‘Ello Remus.”

“Hey, Potter pair.”

Y/n sighed, and James groaned, “That nickname needs to go away.”

“I quite like it.” Remus stated smugly, “Suits you both.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Y/n accused falsely, “It means that wherever one of you are, the other isn’t that far behind.” Remus replied. 

James had zoned out already, and Y/n snapped in his face, “Take your pills?” 

“Forgot.” James muttered guiltily, “Oh Godric.” She whispered. 

“Pills?”

“James went to a muggle doctor this summer.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow, “Did you now?”

“Got diagnosed with ADHD.” James informed, and Remus looked amiss, “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.”

“Ah, I’ve heard of that.” Remus said, and James smiled sheepishly, “I feel kinda odd, like out of place.”

“Why?”

“Dunno, just, why can't I be normal?”

“You are normal, James.” Y/n reassured, “And anyone who says differently obviously doesn’t care about you.”

The compartment door slammed open, “Who doesn’t care about who?”

Remus snorted, “Ever the dramatics, huh, mate?”

“‘Course.” Sirius flopped down beside James, “It comes with my charm and devilishly good looks.”

“Ah, yes.” Y/n said, chuckling, “Don’t you see how I’m swooning for you?”

The back of her palm was against her forehead, “Come off it.” James swatted at her and then elbowed Sirius, “Better not make my sister swoon.”

Sirius chuckled and shrugged, “Can’t help it. I’m just that irresistible.”

The four of them laughed at Sirius’ dramatics and continued talking about the new term. Remus and Y/n were talking about books they couldn’t wait to read. Remus was even kind enough to gift her some muggle books he bought over the summer holiday. Sirius and James bickered about what pranks to do this year, along with which ones were better. 

Third-year was fun. It was a year of flooding corridors, turning Slytherin robes red and blasting music in the common room after a Gryffindor victory. James was a brilliant Quidditch Chaser, and Y/n was a fantastic Seeker. Nothing was quite like the Potter pair. Something about them was just unforgettable. 

Maybe that’s why Sirius was so fond of her. Something about the Potters made people around them smile on the hardest of days. They made sure that every moment was a night to remember. Every memory was worth reliving. So adventurous, so reckless, yet so kind and loving. 

By the time fifth year rolled around, Sirius Orion Black had fallen off a cliff into a lake called love. Sirius completely submerged himself in love for Y/n Potter. The younger twin by just 20 minutes, but something about her was so divine. Was it her silk and glittering h/c hair? No - maybe it was her gleaming e/c eyes. Perhaps it was for her strive for adventure and extreme kindness. 

Nonetheless, Sirius fell hard.

And who better to tell than James Potter himself?

Causally - as usual - Sirius opened the door to the Marauders dorm. It was empty aside from the brunet boy with glasses on the bridge of his nose. His hazel eyes were focused on a textbook - Potions textbook - maybe it was to impress Lily. Sirius couldn’t care less, so he pulled the chair out in front of the desk and sat before James. 

“Mate, I need your help.”

“Running from Filch?”

“No. Something- Something worse.”

“Something worse?” The textbook shut loudly.

Sirius nodded, “Way worse.”

“Alright then, come into my office.” James teased, and Sirius grinned. 

It was silent, “I’m in love with your sister.”

James sputtered, “Excuse me?”

“I’m in love with Y/n.”

“No, no.” James waved his hand horizontally, “I heard you.”

“Then what else would you like me to say?” Sirius asked. 

“Literally anything else.”

“Sorry, mate.” Sirius muttered, “I- I really didn’t mean to.”

James chuckled and wiped his hand across his face, “I suppose you can’t really stop love, huh?”

“You really can’t.” Sirius agreed, “I tried. I promise I tried.”

“It’s not that big of a deal late.” James assured, and Sirius looked at him with wide eyes, “I trust you just-“

“Just?”

“I’m worried about her.” James completed, “I- I worry about her every night.”

Sirius softened, “It’s like you with Regulus-“ James continued before Sirius could interject, “And don’t pretend. Your silencing charms are bloody terrible.”

“I know you still care for Regulus, you worry about him every night, and I do the same for Y/n, except my silencing charms are better.” James teased sightly, “I trust you, Sirius. You’re the brother I never got but always wanted. You know, the brother I can play Quidditch with, rough around with, the brother who’s just as sneaky and mischievous as I.”

“But Y/n is still my blood. She's my twin, my best friend, my partner in crime. She was the mind behind my pranks before Remus.” James elaborated and then smirked, “Remus and Y/n make a great team, ya’ know?”

“They are quite brilliant.”

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, take care of her?” James looked like the eleven-year-old boy again, “Don’t make her a fling and don’t make this temporary.”

“Y/n is a strong woman, and she isn’t for weak men. I’ll be honest,” James chuckled, “She doesn’t need a man. She doesn’t even really need me. I need her more than she needs me. Regardless, take care of her. She deserves a man worthy of her. Someone that’ll get her ice cream at 4 a.m. because she’s craving it. Someone that’ll go on sporadic trips with her. Someone that’ll understand that after a hard day, all she wants is a book and coffee.”

Sirius was appalled; he’d never seen James look so passionate, “Growing up, mum always told me to be a gentleman. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but she always raised me as one. To hold a door for them, push and push in their chairs for them, give them my jacket even if I’ll freeze.” 

“Those kinda things. Dad said I should practice on Y/n, and I did. From then, Y/n always got treated like a queen, and she deserves no less. I won't lie, my parents treat me like a king too, and I don’t want any less either.” James explained, “Be the king that’s worthy of my sister.”

“That’s all I ask of you.”

Sirius nodded, “I’d be honored to serve her as my queen.”

“And if you show her no less, she’ll spit you out like chewing gum.”

He shuttered, “I hate how accurate that phrase is.”

James laughed, “I know her more than you think.”

By sixth year they were dating. Sirius would be lying if he wasn’t eternally shitting himself when Y/n said yes to going to Hogsmeade with him, alone, as a date. In fact, James almost wanted to throw him a party for finally not being a little bitch and asking out his sister. This party consisted of a bottle of firewhiskey and chocolate because that’s all that was in the boy's dormitory. But a party nonetheless. 

When Lily rejected James for the last time before graduation, he was utterly heartbroken. He’d spent and dedicated seven years of his life to this gorgeous woman. Despite all his efforts and all his charms, she still wasn’t interested. James tried. He really tried. He wanted Lily so bad. His heart broke when she said her final words of goodbye.

“I’m sorry, Potter. Maybe in another life, just not this one.”

Tears had ebbed at the corner of his eyes as he made his way back into the castle from the Black Lake. In the common room, where he felt like he had just got dowsed in water. James made his way to the girl's dormitory. His hand curled into a fist and knocked lightly on the wooden door. Shuffling was heard from the other side, and the door finally opened, revealing his sister. 

Without warning, James crashed into her arms, forcing his nose in the crook of her neck, “Woah.”

“Are you okay, James?”

His body shook with sobs as he shook his head no, “It’s okay. Let’s go lay down, okay?”

Gently she led him to her bed. He curled up beneath the navy blue comforter and placed his head on the silk pillow sheets. If he tried hard enough, he could forget the way Lily’s hair smelt today or the way her green eyes glistened in the sun. Now engulfed in his sister's scent, trying to remove every feeling for Lily possible, he dug his nose deeper into the comforter. 

Y/n sat beside him, her back to the headboard, and ran her fingers through James’ already untied hair, “What's got you so worked up?”

“It’s done.”

“What’s done?”

“L- Lily and I.” James choked, “She- She really doesn’t want me.”

A new wave of tears overcame him, and Y/n continued to try and soothe him, “Well, she’s a tosser.”

James narrowed his eyes, “James, you know I love her. She's my best friend, but if she can’t see what’s right in front of her, then she’s an idiot.”

“Can I- Can I stay here tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay at your dorm?” Y/n questioned, “Because you know who sleeps here.”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Till the end.”

After a couple of minutes, Y/n and James made their way down the steps to the boy's side. They walked up more steps and finally made it to the boy's dormitory. James collapsed on his bed in the left corner of the room, and Sirius perked up at seeing his girlfriend enter the room. 

“Whatcha doin’ here, love?”

“Staying with my brother.”

Sirius nodded and stood up to hug her, gently pecking her forehead, “If you guys need anything, let me know, ‘kay?”

“Thanks, Siri.” 

Gently Y/n pulled back the maroon curtain and sat down beside him again. James reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. Something they used to do as kids. When a thunderstorm would go by, James would always seek sanctuary in his sister's comfort. 

He fell asleep that night, knowing he was safe, loved, and knew that someone cared about him. Even if Lily didn’t love him, at least someone else did. He had his boys, and he had his sister. Right now, that’s all he needed beside him: Screw Lily and her idiot decision skills. Y/n was right; she was a complete tosser. 

When Hogwarts was over, James and Y/n got a flat together. Sirius, Remus, and Peter got one only a floor above. Realistically this wasn’t the plan. James always planned to buy a house with Lily, but he was still healing, and after everything going on, it was vital for him to hold his sister close to him.

Euphemia and Fleamont barely lived to see their children graduate. Not too long afterward had died due to the horrid dragon pocks. It devastated both twins and Sirius. While Sirius wasn’t their true child, he very well could’ve. Euphemia noticed Sirius’s lingering stares on Y/n and the loopy smile that graced his features.

She was the one who got Sirius to man up. She was the one who gave him advice. She was the one who told him what books were her favorite, which chocolate she liked the best, her favorite quills. Euphemia was one of the main components in getting Sirius to date her daughter, and when it finally happened, the parents couldn’t have been happier.

James’ ADHD still remained even in his adulthood, making regular everyday tasks much harder and twice as long. Most of the time, the pills were able to help him complete those tasks. But sometimes, when Y/n wasn’t there to remind him, he would miss his days. When Y/n got home from work, she had barely taken off her shoes to see the apartment spotless.

It was a pleasant surprise, but James was never really one to clean, not that she really minded, but the apartment didn’t have a speck of dust on it. Hesitantly she put her keys on the island along with her bag.

“James!”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He appeared in the kitchen where Y/n was, “Um, did you clean the apartment?”

“Yes, I did!” James nodded enthusiastically.

Y/n sighed and gave her brother a sweet smile, “What did you not do today?”

“So, you know how you told me to go to the pharmacy?”

“Mhm.” Y/n nodded, “Indeed I do.”

“Well, they were out of my meds.” James informed, “I have to wait a week.”

“Oh, Merlin.”

“On the bright side!” James was already causing her a headache, “It’s gonna be a fantastic week! I’ve got so many things planned for us! We’re gonna go-“

James continued to ramble as Y/n grabbed her keys, bag and slipped back on her shoes, “I’m going to Sirius’!”

“Thought you were my sister.” James faked pouting, and Y/n smiled, “I love you, but you’re crazy.”

“I love you too!” He yelled as she closed the door.

[fwkei]

Time.

Kazutora x fem!reader (angst/fluff)

CW/TW: Mentions of suicide, (slight) mention of starvation.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR VALHALLA ARC

Note! Explanation of story at end just incase you’re confused also i apologize for mistakes, i did not read this over. 🙆🏻‍♀️

WC: 3.4k

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You sat at the edge of your seat. Watching the clock above your teacher's head ever so closely. 

“When you want to find the common di-” 

Suddenly the bell rang, interrupting your teacher from his final words. 

“Oh my bad, guess I lost track of time, anyways please remember to study for your quiz on Monday! I know it's a weekend, but save some time for academics!” said your teacher as your classmates packed up their stuff to leave. 

Today was Friday, meaning it was the day you get to visit Kazutora at juvie for the first time after Keisuke's death, and your attempt. It was 3:30, and visiting hours started at 4 to 5 every Friday for inmates. Running to the metro takes about 5-7 minutes, and walking from the station to the actual juvie takes about 20 minutes, while the ride lasts up to 10, meaning you should arrive there at around 4:10. And there's no time to waste. 

You ran out of class, ignoring your fellow classmates goodbyes. You held your book bag tight as you ran fast to the Tokyo station. Seeing you arrived just on time you jumped in just before the 3:30 o'clock train leaves to a different side of the district where Kazutora is being held. You held onto the rail beside you to keep yourself steady as the train started to move . 

You felt scared but happy to see Kazutora. He most probably didn't know you would be coming, he probably thought you would at most write letters to him, like before, but again...Kazutora believes that you hate him now. You didn't know what you were going to say to him. Draken told you that he already visited him while you were in psychiatric hold for a bit, and he told you that Kazutora was planning on killing himself. Draken did not specify if he told Kazutora about your own attempt but you didn't worry too much because you were healing, and you now had hope.  

Your heart was racing, as the train came to a stop. As the doors opened you ran, and fast. Dodging people to not hurt them and almost stepping on things you shouldn’t be stepping on. You checked the time to see it was 4:01, and you still had about 10 minutes worth of walking/running to cover. 

You were breathing heavily when the Juvenile building came into view. You checked the time again to see it was 4:11. You jogged to the doors of the building despite the fact that your thighs were burning from the amount of cardio you had just done. 

It's all worth it. 

You thought to yourself opening the doors. 

Kazutora sat on the bed of his bland and colorless cell. He signed as he looked up at the ceiling light before turning his position to look at the side of the wall. He held his pillow tight. He knew it was visiting day, and his heart was anxious despite the fact that others had already been called to see their visitors, and there was still no call for him. He didn't even expect any visitors.

Kazutora didn't know if he wanted to see you or not. He’s spent so much time alone in his cell thinking. He wondered if you had figured out the other reason for him stabbing his best friend, you could read people, but he knew you had a hard time reading him. He felt his heart ache. He was scared of the karma that would hit him because of it. Maybe not even Karma, but just some sort of punishment, for causing pain to the soul that cared for him so much, and for not being there for that soul when she needed it the most. Which... ultimately lead to your attempt, which Draken told him about during his visit. He shut his eyes as he remembered Draken's words. 

“I don’t wanna hear you say there is no point anymore. Because there is, and it’s kinda frustrating and irritating how you can’t see it even though it’s right there. She’s in psychiatric hold right now because she was close to ending her own life. After Baji died, and you were taken away, Y/n couldn't take it anymore, and no one could see it because she just...she just kept it in, like you do. She was going to die on Baji’s birthday if I wasn’t there to make her throw up the pills she took. Her and I may not be blood related siblings, but I know she’s been through a lot and has always gotten over it just fine, you know that...but this time...I got really fucking scared.”

Kazutora felt his heart drop to fucking hell at Draken’s words. He felt his breathing stop as his mouth parted.

“I know you love her, I'm not sure in what way but I could care less about that. I know, Kazutora. All those times you came crying to the brothel, crying into her arms, begging for some type of help and she helped you, lended you her body for you to cry on, I’d hear all of it. I know you’re hurting, but if you go, I don't think she will be able to live with herself. She’ll blame herself for not being there for you like she’s always been. Do you understand?”

He felt his body throb from literal physical pain. Kazutora was feeling and getting the punishment he deserved right then and there. 

“You owe it to her, whether you like it or not, to stay alive because she's doing the same for you. And once you’re out of here, you should finally grow up. Let her cry into your arms for once. She’s your best friend, right? Because she deserves for those efforts to be reciprocated. And you deserve to see what she’s gone through because of everything that happened. Take care, Kazutora.” 

Kazutora was lost in his own mind, to the point where he couldn't even register that one of the guards was calling his name from the cell door.

“Hm? I’m sorry I wasn't...uh, paying attention. What did you say?” he asked sitting up nervously 

“You got a visitor, kid. C’mon get up.” said the man unlocking his cell 

“A- visitor?” he said quietly getting up from his bed with shocked eyes 

It was already 4:15. Kazutora grew anxious at who his visitor could be. He was sure it wasn't you, your school is too far for you to make it here in time. There would only be a couple minutes to spare if you did try. Could it be Draken wanting to give him a word of advice? Or maybe Chifuyu.. Maybe Mikey? God, who could it be. It made him feel even more congested and trapped than before.  

As Kazutora walked, he looked down at his feet avoiding people's gazes. He saw the backs of his fellow juvenile delinquents from the side of his eye. His heartbeat became stronger, and he felt it thumbing in his ears. God, he didn't know what to expect. He was just so...frustrated. 

“Here, you have until 5.” said the guard, taking off his hand cuffs. His back was facing you. You grew anxious bringing your hands to rest on your things and skirt, waiting for him to turn around and look at you. You watched as he rubbed his wrists and sat down at the stool still not looking at you. You rubbed your hands together under the table separating you both, as the guard walked away to patrol. Your eyes followed the guard, not even noticing that Kazutora had turned to look at your face. 

Kazutora felt his face get hot at the sight of you. You had a school shirt on, with a dark blue tie and a sweater vest, Your hair tied into a low and messy bun with some of you natural and dyed hairs falling out framing your face. He felt his whole body go warm as you turned your head and gave him a nervous smile as a small blush formed. He didn't know why he was scared to see you, because every time Kazutora had the chance to see you, he instantly felt better, no matter what.

You two, and the other inmates and visitors, were all separated by a piece of plastic with a vent to capture sound better. On the side there was a subsection with an opening to the other side where you could pass things through. Such as notes, toys, hygiene stuff, and extra. You brought your hands to the table holding them.

“Hey...sorry I’m late.” you said as you saw Kazutora snap out of his gaze 

“Oh no I-, please don’t be..” he said waving his hands frantically, clearly nervous

“I had to run about 2 miles to get here..” you laughed trying to not tense up

Kazutora felt… stupid, why would you do that? Just to see him? It just made him even more confused...confused about how he felt towards you. 

“Just to see me? But..why?” he asked without thinking and just speaking, giving a regretful and embarrassed face after asking his question.

“Hm? Oh well it's simple really…” you said bringing your hands to rest in between your thighs on your seat 

“I know that I've told you that I don't like saying these words to people because it sounds like some sort of goodbye but it’s time I grow up from my past, and stop keeping things in..so…it’s because I love you... I thought that was fairly obvious but I don't wanna mess up like I did last time. I want you to know that I do love you and care for you.” you said giving him a closed eyed smile, this made Kazutora realize that you deeply regretted not telling Keisuke that you loved him more often when you two still had time. He felt his heart ache. He felt so guilty and gross.

“So, I’m gonna try and start saying that more often..” you said laughing to break the silence 

Kazutora was still speechless at what you had just said. He couldn’t seem to process it, and he wanted to say it back but for some reason he just couldn’t. He was afraid that something else might slip out. He truly didn't think he was worthy of your love and care. It became quiet. Again.

“I made you a bento box with your favorite things, I made sure to put some extra meat. Cause you always used to ask for that when I would make bentos for study days with you and Keisuke. And don’t worry! It’s allowed and you can have the kitchen hold it for you till you’re ready to eat it for today's dinner, the guards said so. And the container is microwave safe! So you can warm up the entree section. There’s rice and BBQ meat, little octopus shaped sausages and sauce with it! Oh and a salad with sesame dressing on the side, and desert which is just mochi. Every Friday I'll come by, and give you the new bento and you'll just give me back the old one, so that I can wash it and so we don't have to waste stuff.” you said smiling 

Your hand dung into your bag, and you pulled out a wooden bento box sliding it halfway through the subsection, but Kazutora hung his head low. You smiled, trying your best to make things right, as silence grew loud again. 

“I can also bring some mangas for you, I know you like shounen and also horror.. So I can buy some and give them to you so that you aren't bored! This week's shonen jump is good… It’s about a boy who is trying to save his mom, and ends up traveling across lands, with close friends, to get this special potion that will heal her, but I’ll make sure to look for some good horror manga too...I know you like stuff about folk tales, that sound okay?”  

Silence.

After a few minutes you spoke again.

“I decided to let my hair grow out cause I kinda miss having longer hair…There's this really pretty girl in my class who has long blonde hair.. Like Emma’s but longer and more wavy.. What about you? Anything you wanna do to your hair when you get out? I’ll take you to get it done-” 

Silence. 

The time now at 4:40. Kazutora bit his lip out of frustration, refusing to look up at you. 

“Oh! What about I bring over a sudoku book, so you can work on your academics as well! I can teach you how to play, it’s fun once you get the hang of it. Or I can bring just a simple literature book, it’s really up to you, I think both are great.” 

Silence. 

“Maybe markers so you can draw on yourself when you’re bored? I remember you doing that while I would tutor you and Keisuke. I can get big and small ones, and ones with different colors too. Also a sketch book, since you’re really good at drawing.” 

You were met with silence again. You felt your heart ache. Your eyes looked up at the clock and saw it was 4:47. You both were running out of time. About half an hour went by of your speaking, you giving a couple minutes in between waiting for him to speak back, but nothing. You clenched your hands into fists, biting your bottom lip as you looked down at your hands, resting on your thighs. 

You felt a strong feeling in your throat, the feeling you get when you’re about to sob. You were so frustrated, and you were trying to keep a level head. It was hard and you just wanted to fucking cry. 

“I- '' you said before closing your mouth realizing you were about to let out a whine. You didn't wanna cry, you wanted to say something but you were afraid that if you did, it would just come out as a sob.  

“I know it’s hard on you-” you said holding back your sobs while still looking down at your hands, letting your hairs cover your face 

“If you don’t want me here, I promise- that I’m fine with that...but~” you said in between pauses keeping your sobs in, but your last word came out shaky making Kazutora shoot his head to see you about to cry. 

He felt his heart ache once again. 

 “But please….jus-just say something. Anything. At least acknowledge that I'm here.” you cried quietly while tensing up your shoulders 

Kazutora frowned. This was his punishment. Seeing you cry, and not being able to hold and comfort you like he desperately wanted to. He opened his mouth, but closed it soon after when nothing came out. Not even a squeak, or whine, or breath. 

“I-”

You heard him say. You looked up with tears in your eyes seeing his face of desperation. 

Kazutora wanted to speak so badly, there were so many thoughts in his head he just could not push one out of his mouth, and he was afraid he might say something he would regret. He wanted to respond to everything you asked him, add commentary, tell you that you looked pretty today, say thank you for the food you made him. Tell you to not waste your tears on someone like him. Say sorry for making you feel uncomfortable because of his silence. God he just- 

“I love you-” he choked up and said in a louder tone causing your eyes to widen and mouth to part from shock at his sudden outburst.

He was avoiding your eyes as he spoke. 

“I- thank you, thank you so much for the food! Really! And I would really love whatever and everything you bring me.” he said, quieting down towards the end.  

“I...can’t put my thoughts into words… and I don’t wanna say something I’d regret. All this time I’ve just been lost in my own mind. I just want you to know that..that I really am in- that I really appreciate you. I want you..to be here, and I’m so...sorry for making you cry.” he said in between pauses of frustration and embarrassment 

You felt your body get warm, your heart beat was strong and you could feel it in your finger tips and temples. You opened your mouth to say something before Kazutora spoke again. 

“I..wanted to.. Wanted to help you...in just some way...after seeing you cry for the first time...with Baji in your arms….I shouldn't have stabbed Baji...I took the person you loved more than anything...away from you.. Because I was j- because I was so stupid, and still am. Even when you’ve done...so fucking much for me...I- and I took him from you...I just don’t get it… how can you have any empathy towards me anymore.. It doesn't make sense. I took so much from you… I killed Shinchiro, and I killed Baji. You loved them both...Mikey loved them both, why do..why do you even have any feeling towards me?” he said looking into your eyes with tears   

Your eyes softened at him. You took a small breath before saying-

“I thought I already told you why, Kazutora. I love you.” 

Kazutora felt a tear run down his cheek. He knew how much thought came behind those simple words. 

“I don’t need a reason to love you. Just like I don't need a reason to be hungry. It’s just there, and will continue to be there, you know what I mean? Same thing with everyone I love.” you said 

His breath hitched. The time now at 4:52.

“The only difference is I was in love with Keisuke. I still am in love with him. Even though he’s not here anymore. I know you might think I love him and Shinchiro and Mikey because they saved my life and helped me. But I was only so little. I had no concept of it. So was Keisuke. So was Mikey. Keisuke had no reason to come up to little me while I was starving on the ground practically dying. He just did it. He was too young to understand love. You think he understood his feelings for me the second he saw me? Or even with Mikey or Shinchiro. Of course not. They were just focussed on saving my life at the time. We discovered the love that was involved later. Even if it was too late to say anything about it. It took Kei and I about...hmmm..5-7 years maybe...to understand what we felt toward each other specifically. It is different with everyone. The love is just there, it’ll just be understood when the time is right. Like when your hunger just hits you. So when you ask me why I love you, or care for you, or forgive you. I just can’t give you a simple answer, even if I wanted to….because there's so much. Too much.” 

Kazutora understood your words. He really did. It made so much sense to him and he just wanted to scream.

Why? Well.. 

“The time will come where you believe that you're worthy of someone else's love and even your own, and even worth loving someone else yourself. So don’t worry. I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as it takes. Even if it takes all the time in the world, okay?” you said smiling at him leaving him with shocked eyes

“Alright times up! 5 o'clock!” yelled a guard 

“Well, I'll see you next Friday, okay? I’ll bring over some manga, oh! And don't forget the bento!” you said getting up from your seat as Kazutora did the same keeping his hands on the table as the guard came to cuff them 

“Y/n I-I’m…”

No. He can’t say it. He can never ever say it. Why? And say what? 

Because he will never be him. He can never be like him for you, and he was perfect for you. He was the one there for you. He had the time to love you. He was the one. He could never even compete. Not after what he did. Not after the jealousy and envy grew and brewed inside him towards him. He is filthy. Not worthy of your love. Right? 

But someday, he desperately and genuinely wants to allow himself to be loved, and to love. Kazutora will forever be longing for that moment. And when he can love, and allow himself to be loved, he wants it to be with you. 

But till that time comes..

“I’ll...really be looking forward to it.” he said biting back his words and smiling softly 

“Likewise.” you said smiling as you both parted your ways, at least for the time being. 

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Explanation/note: when i wrote this, i made y/n be a ‘foster’ siblings with Draken and childhood friends with Mikey and Keisuke. << Reason being is because i gave her a backstory where she was neglected and ran away, hence her having a more naturing personality. Y/n and Keisuke were a couple till he died but Kazutora always loved Y/n so it’s a love triangle in a way? I don’t know, but Kazutora grew envious of Keisuke in this ff which ended up being a motive to stabbing him during the fight, to which he later regrets and gets punishment for. Y/n in the story doesn’t know that so that’s why Kazutora can’t accept her love for real because he doesn't know if Y/n will really forgive him after that, and Kazutora won’t be able to learn/accept love till he admits what he did. Holding in that secret, and being in love with Y/n makes him feel frustrated and act out. And obviously time is the theme of this whole story. Kazutora at the end decided to avoid his feelings because the way things are going right now fro the time being for him are fine because he doesn't believe he deserves anything more.  But that can only last for so long, so he’s gambling with his relationship with you. He thinks of it as his punishment for now, not being able to tell you how he really feels, and not being able to comfort you.

ANYWAYS hope you liked it, sorry if it’s confusing. 

[harryspet]

positions | b.barnes & p.parker

[warnings] dark!bucky barnes x reader, grey!peter parker x reader, petplay, abduction, collars/bondage, brainwashing, noncon/dubcon oral sex, degredation/dehuminization, sex slave training, some weird shit 

A/N: So I tried something new and this is kind of a test to see if people like it. I’m into it so I figured I might as well write it :) if you don’t know what petplay is ... google it 

In which Bucky trains you for your new owner, Peter Parker. 

word count: 4.3k

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taglist: @cherienymphe​ @peterztinglez @lovelynerdytraveler @buckysbunny @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything @saharzek @lovemassivelybeautifulbouquet @what-is-your-wish @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @mischiefmanaged011  @visintaes @cherienymphe

You dipped your head down, trying to get your fingers closer to your mouth you could pull out the gag tightly wrapped around your head. Your cheeks were wet with mascara and tears and your body was completely sore, having been wrestled, bound, and thrown into a cage. Leather cuffs decorated your wrist, ankles and were even wrapped around your thighs, all connected together by chains and leaving you positioned in all fours. 

You even felt a tightness around your neck which could only be a collar. 

Where are my clothes? 

Of course, he knew you were a tourist, having asked him directions to the club you were supposed to meet your friends at. He joined you and bought an entire round of drinks for you and your friends. You were broke so how could you turn down drinks from such a nice guy? Who cares if he was trying to get into your pants, your friends would help if he got too handsy. You remembered dancing with the older and extremely handsome man for most of the night, actually enjoying being pressed against him. 

You remembered the dark brown hair that he pushed back from his face, the stubble you felt against your cheek when he spoke in your ear. 

You were supposed to take the pill he offered you together but now you knew his must have been a placebo. Your friends saw his face and they’d help the cops find you. That’s what you told yourself but as the hours that felt like days went by in the dim, concrete room.

You weren’t alone, you knew that, you could hear the moaning and whimpering of other girls that you assumed were locked away just like you were. You were being sex trafficked, you assumed, and the thought was suffocating you more than the gag was. You began to hyperventilate and, no matter how much you tried to control your breathing, you couldn’t stop yourself. You welcomed the darkness of sleep and hoped you would wake up in your hotel room. 

You awoke to the sound of tapping on the cage, your heavy eyes blinking open to find the man who was responsible for your kidnapping. Unlike the smile he wore when you first met him, the look on his face was stoic as he bent down to examine you. 

He said his name was James but his friends called him Bucky.  

“Look how beautiful you are even when you’re crying,” He said, a pain in the back of your throat when you realized the tears were starting again, “Look at those eyes … I knew you had the face for this.” 

He reached towards you, pulling up the hinge that was keeping the cage shut. It was a simple contraption but with your limbs pinned by leather, it made the simple task impossible to do. He opened the cage, reaching into his back pocket, and pulling out what looked like a …  leash, “C’mon, doll, let's get the hard part over with,” He was going to lead you around like a dog? You backed yourself up further, suddenly thinking you might be safer inside the cage, “I’ll give you another chance ... “

You shook your head, an inaudible sound of protests coming from your mouth because you were gagged. He clicked his tongue, “That little collar around your neck, that's the one good girls wear. Would you rather wear an electric one?”

You paused, your eyes widening. This was even worse than you assumed and, although you were shaking, you let him attach the leash to the collar. He stood, pulling on the leash. It tightened the more you hesitated and you found yourself struggling for air. You crawled out onto the cold concrete, unable to stand up. 

The room reminded you of a basement or a mad scientist’s lab, concrete walls, one wall lined with cages, another covered in what looked like torture devices, and a metal table in the middle of the room, “There you go, good girl,”  He started pulling you further along and but you couldn’t coordinate your movements. The feeling was so unnatural. You finally got a look at the other girls but, unlike you, they weren’t bound like you were. Some were sleeping peacefully and the others had their wide, wanting eyes on Bucky as if they desired his attention. 

Growing frustrated, you started to pull back, but it only choked you further. You struggled to make actual words come out but you were loud against the gag, though your efforts were probably futile. He forced you to crawl over to the table, where he paused before he was suddenly wrapping his arms around your torso. 

He lifted you onto the table and, for a short moment, you imagined the muscles that were probably underneath his black shirt. The cold of the table sent a chill through your body, adding to the eerie nature of the room. As you tried to move into a more comfortable position, resting your bottom back on your feet, you felt a sharp sting to your bottom, “I didn’t tell you to change positions,” You heard him say, and when you tried to turn your head to look at him, he spanked you again, “Face forward, pet.”

You tried to blink away your tears as you turned your head away, “Are you naturally obedient … or are you just scared out of your mind, huh?”

You weren’t sure either. The only thing you knew was that you wanted to be miles and miles away from where you were now. Were you even in New York anymore? 

“The fear will go away,” He said and you felt him messing with the leather cuffs wrapped around your limbs. He tightened them in areas that were loose and made sure they were secure. When he got to your gag, you didn’t expect him to untie the cloth from around your mouth. Before it was loose enough, “Speak and the shock collar goes on … nod if you understand.”

Slowly, you nodded. Trying to protect yourself, you decided you would be obedient for now. When there was a clear chance of escape, you could take it. The gag being gone gave you back some comfort but your lips trembled. You wanted badly to say something, to reason with him but he seemed set on doing whatever he was going to do. Whatever he did to those other girls … 

You felt a hand on your waist, it wasn’t rough, but his touch sent warning signals through your brain, “From now on, the only words I should hear from your mouth are ‘Yes, Master’. Do you understand?”

Your lips did not part to utter those words which led to a spank on your bottom. You yelped at the initial one and his assault continued until you gave in. You squeezed your hands into a fist, embarrassment rushing through you, as you finally said, “Y-Yes, Master.”

Sounding triumphant, he moved on to the next part of his inspection. Still looking forward, you were pulled to the side when he grabbed a hold of your hair. He separated it, almost neatly, into two sections, tying each side into a ponytail and effectively removing it from your face. Next, you watched him walk over to his wall of torture tools. 

You looked at him then down at the restraints around your wrist. You pulled your hands in opposite directions, testing the strength of the chain connecting them. When he approached again, he was holding another black item. You tried backing away but he grabbed a hold of your arm, “Shhh,” He spoke, sounding more annoyed than calming. You weren’t sure what it was until it was right in front of your face. Black leather straps attached to a metal ring. When he grabbed your face, forcing the ring into your mouth, you thought you might choke once again. Like the cloth gag, he tightened this one behind your head, “There, that’s better. Your first, big reward will be getting to take off that gag … in the meantime, you’ll learn how to beg without using your words.”

He held your chin in his hand, the other touching over your hair. For a moment, he seemed to look at you with adoration. 

+

For the next three weeks, you’d stay in that cement room for almost twenty-three hours of the day, Bucky only letting you out for your “lessons” or to let you relieve yourself. He’d told you a while ago that you wouldn’t do anything without his permission, not even go to the restroom. It was dehumanizing which you knew was the point of all of this. You were already starting to feel relieved whenever Bucky appeared because it meant you could come out of the cage. 

He often walked you around the room, letting you practice coordinating your movements. Humiliating as it was, your favorite thing was when he’d take off the restraints, letting you stand up, as he bathed you. 

Today, things were different, “It’s your lucky day, pet. We start house training today.” In the morning, he came down the stairs, and, this time, he led you up them. Undoing the chains but leaving the cuffs allowed you to move more freely but you learned that he still wanted to crawl. It made you feel small, in comparison to the massive house that was built above the basement. The home was sleek, expensive, and clean as well as full of grays, whites, and black colors. 

Bringing you into the living room, The living room was illuminated by the tall windows and you could see the thick green trees outside. You definitely weren’t in the city anymore. You could run now, if you could find a way out. So far, you hadn’t spotted a front door but maybe that would be the obvious out. He was a professional after all and your escape would take some critical thinking. 

Right now, you were focused on not being punished. From the moment Bucky decided to move the ring gag, you’d do anything to keep it off. You’d gotten used to the feeling but it was still painful and it didn’t make you feel any better about yourself when you were constantly drooling on yourself. 

You soon learned what exactly Bucky meant by housetraining. Instead of spanking, Bucky decided on a new positive reinforcer. With everything you did right, he gave you little bites of chocolate which you became grateful for. The food he served down in the basement didn’t resemble anything tasteful. 

First, you went through positions. 

Stay, Sit, Heel, Wait, Come, Stand, Bed or Crate, and plenty more an adult woman could easily do but fight her cognitive dissonance at the same time. You tried your best to not focus on the embarrassment and remembered the food … you even took comfort in the soft pats on your head and bottom, a reminder of human contact. 

“When I tell you to Mount, I want your face down and ass in the air,” The command was simple enough but Bucky sensed your hesitance. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen every inch of your body already, “Face down,” Bucky urged you, his voice deep and commanding. 

Slowly you moved down to the carpet, your bottom in the air. You felt him standing behind you, probably taking in the view. He placed his feet between your legs, kicking them apart and allowing him a better view. He was quiet for a moment and you began to assume the worst, jumping a bit when you felt a hand on your bottom, “Face down,” He commanded again and you pressed your cheek to the carpet, “Good. Don’t you worry, sweet thing. I’ll leave this hole untouched for your future owner … though I am tempted.”

“Up,” He said, grabbing ahold of the leash attached to your collar. He led you towards the white, leather couch, taking a seat while pulling you in between his spread legs. Leaning forward, Bucky’s held your face in his hands, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip. Bucky watched the panic in your eyes, the uncertainty and fear that was still lingering, “Things will be so much better when you realize you rather be a dumb, little puppy … the overthinking, the anxiety, you can let it all go, let someone else take control.”

You began to shake your head and Bucky grabbed your chin roughly, his eyes darkening, “You’ve been good all day, don’t start now,” He said, his grip still tight, “I think you need to show me a little bit more gratitude.” You watched him begin to wrap the leather leash around his hand, over and over, until he had all the control of it. It pulled you closer to his crotch as Bucky leaned back against the couch. 

“I’m sure you’ve done this before, right?” He smirked, undoing his belt, and unbuttoning his jeans. 

“Please-”  You yelped as he pulled you even further. 

“Pets don’t get to make demands. I don’t want any thoughts going on in that little head that don’t involve your mouth being around my cock. Understand?” Another rough pull. 

You nodded, “Y-Yes,” You rushed the words out, “Yes, Master.”

“Good puppy,” He spoke condescendingly, reaching into his briefs to pull out his cock, and he touched it against your cheek, letting you feel how hard he already was, “If you make me cum fast enough, I’ll let you sleep upstairs tonight.”

You’d never fully admit it to yourself but the prospect of sleeping in a real bed, at least not sleeping in a cold basement, sounded a lot more appealing than the food. Though you were hesitant, you knew how badly you wanted to stay upstairs, even if that meant you had to be with Bucky. 

You grabbed the base of his cock with your hand and put the tip of him in his mouth. As Bucky’s head tilted back, you began to work your magic which wasn’t much seeing as how you hadn’t been in many relationships. You worked him into your mouth slowly, trying not to trigger your gag reflex, while you stroked his bottom half. “Good girl … good girl,” You heard him whisper, trying not to find the way his face contorted in pleasure as attractive. He took you away from everything, you had to remind yourself. 

As time went on, you could tell he was getting close. You swirl your tongue around his tip, anticipating his orgasm. He grabbed you by your ponytail, pushing you further down, as he came down your throat, “Swallow it all,” He grunted, “Good girl.”

You did swallow it all though it was hard to hide your disgust at the taste. Bucky looked amused, once again taking your face in his hands. He had a thing for your lips, that much you understood, and you wondered if he wanted to kiss you. Maybe it was another thing that was oft limits and to be saved for your true “owner”. 

That night, Bucky kept his word though you slept at the end of his bed with a pillow and blanket, your collar chained to the bedpost. Somehow, it was the best night's rest you had in weeks.

+

“This is … impressive,” Peter breathed out, stuffing his hands into his pocket in order to keep them from fidgeting. The sight of women displayed before him, each one of them beautiful, was reddening his cheeks which he hoped Bucky didn’t notice, “And you’ve trained all of them yourself?”

Like he was showing off one of his greatest accomplishments, Bucky smiled. Three of his “pets” sat on their knees obediently in the area in front of the fireplace. All tourists and all of them had something special Bucky noticed about them. Holding two glasses of bourbon, he handed one to Peter to which Peter accepted politely, “Tricks and all. Piper there has been with me for over a year. Feel free to touch and try out the merchandise, they love it.” 

The girls did seem eager to get their hands on him, with warm smiles and flirtatious eyes. Though they loved Bucky, they’d been trained to work hard so that one day they can be adopted by someone else. All they had worked for would be worth it once they were chosen.

Peter’s eyes widened, “Actually, I don't think-”

“Not your cup of tea, Pete?” Bucky raised an eyebrow, bringing his glass to his lips. 

“No, uhm, that’s not it,” Peter said. The entire idea of this was becoming a little too real for the young Avenger. He knew what had led him here, the loneliness of being a superhero, and the inability to get close to someone out of fear that his enemies would target them. That's how he lost MJ and he’d promised himself that he’d never hurt like that again, “I’m not sure about … all of this.”

Bucky placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder, giving him a look that father might give a son, “You have a lot of empathy, that's why,” Bucky explained, “But you already do your part to society, saving people and risking your life. It’s okay to be a bit selfish and take back from the universe. You deserve it, kid. Besides, I’m sure your left-hand could use a break every now and then.”

Peter shook his head, trying to hide his amusement, “Ha ha.”

“C’mere, let me show you something,” With his hand still on his shoulder, Bucky led Peter over to the basement door, “I’ve never shown anyone where the magic happens. My customers usually see one of the girls, gets over excited and immediately wants to buy one.”

The lights flicked on and illuminated the staircase. As they went down, Peter’s eyes were wide with curiosity, feeling as if Bucky was the villain and he was entering his evil lair. Well, his feelings weren’t totally wrong, “... do they usually test them out too?”

“Usually, yes …” Bucky trailed off, realizing something, “You’d like someone untouched, I can tell. There’s someone that I think would be perfect for you.”

The two walked along a long corridor until getting to a room full of metal cages. You were the only one left downstairs, the other girls were ready to be sold, and you were sleeping peacefully like you did most time during the day. After seeing Bucky leading the other girls away, you didn’t expect to see him for hours. Now that he had returned, you were perked up, and even more curious about the man with him. 

Seeing someone new made you want to cry out for help but that would be stupid. If he was with Bucky, he was probably into Bucky’s sick business too. They stopped in front of your cage and Bucky crouched down to open the lock, crawling out as Bucky beckoned you by waving his hand. 

Peter’s heartbeat quickened at the sight of you, watching how your eyes darted back in forth between the two men. You seemed just as frightened as Peter was, “Sit,” Bucky told you and, hesitantly, you sat back on your knees, your hands in your lap. Though you were still naked, you’d earned your way out of the restraints except for your collar of course. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she? I haven’t named her yet but I’ve only had her for a few months.”

Bucky ran his hand over your hair and then down your back, his hand resting on your bottom, “Yeah, uhm … yeah,” You connected the dots quickly, realizing the man with the light brown hair and kind eyes was interested in buying her, “She already seems very behaved.”

You looked to Bucky to see his reaction and he had a proud look on his face, “We had an issue about two weeks ago but it was easily corrected,” You cringed, looking away, remembering the week you spent with the electric collar on all because you’d tried to run to the front door. You could still feel the current rushing through your body, paralyzing your muscles, “She is very sweet, good with her mouth and she’s a cuddler, that’s why I think you’d be a good match.”

Bucky stood and you wished for a second that he’d keep caressing your back. He’s spent most of the last week with the other girls and you hadn’t slept upstairs in ages, “Would she really be ready after two months?”

Bucky sighed, “I’d have to keep her for a few more months. It usually takes more than a year,” Peter nodded, “But, for my friend, I’ll make sure she’s ready as soon as possible. So?”

Peter looked you over again. There was something about you that was different … special, even, “She’s the one,” Peter said, surprising himself and Bucky smiled. 

You didn’t know if you’d be able to recognize yourself in the coming months but, just like that, your fate was sealed. 

+

six months later … 

You remembered your last night with Bucky. He reminded you every day it seemed like that you’d be going to Peter soon. You’d curled up in his lap, letting tears fall down your cheek as Bucky wiped them away, “I know it hurts, pet,” He spoke soothingly, “Peter is a good friend, you’ll see me soon. Besides, it’ll be nice not having to share, won’t it?”

Bucky took your silence as a sign of acceptance, “That’s my good girl,” He cooed and you tried to keep in your sobs as you accepted his comfort. He leaned down to kiss your forehead and then your cheek. It was the perfect distraction and you almost didn’t notice that he pricked your neck, filling you with a sedative, “When you wake up, you’ll be somewhere new, but I want you to be on your best behavior. You’ll listen to him … you’ll comfort him because he’s your new Master. You can do that, right?”

“Yes …” Your voice began to trail off as your eyes got heavy, “... Master.”

“Goodnight, pet.”

+

Peter awoke the next morning to a phone call. He rolled over in bed, picking it up, “Hello?” He asked groggily. 

“Mr. Parker, you have quite a large package here. Should I send it up?” It was the man at the front desk downstairs. Peter was confused at first since he hadn’t ordered anything but the realization hit him quickly, “Mr. Parker-”

“Yes, send it up, please!” Peter was already hurrying out of bed, looking around the room for clothes. Peter was expecting you tonight and he thought he’d have all day to get things ready for you. When he finally made it out of the room, there was a knock at the front door. Taking a deep breath, Peter answered. One of the bellhops rolled in the package which was wrapped in red wrapping paper and a bow. Just in time for Christmas in a few days. 

Peter waited for the bellhop to step out and tipped him handsomely. Even if the man did think Peter had made a shady purchase, Spiderman wasn’t exactly a figure you wanted to go against. A lot had changed since he was a teenager, a lot for the better. He wouldn’t be standing in the foyer of his penthouse apartment if things hadn’t changed. Peter couldn’t buy his happiness, he knew that, but he had a feeling you could change things. 

Peter carefully unwrapped the paper, trying not to startle you further, but it seemed that it was too late for that. As Peter crouched down at the opening of the cage, you had pushed yourself to the back of it, your knees pulled to your chest, and tears dry against your cheeks. 

You looked different, Bucky having dressed you in a new, light pink collar as well pink ribbons to decorate your pigtails. He’d even given you a dress though it was tight to your skin and barely went over your bottom. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, I promise” Peter said, opening the door to the cage, “I’m Peter, remember? … do you want to come out?”

He was asking you? Bucky never asked what you wanted. 

Peter racked his brain for all the training information that Bucky had given him, “Come,” Peter said, remembering the word from the manual, “ … please,” He added. 

You moved slowly, getting onto your knees as you slowly crawled out onto the cool, marble floor. Up above you could see a shining chandelier and looking around you could tell there was much to discover. Peter, kneeling beside you, said, “This is your home now,” He informed you and couldn’t help but wish Bucky was here. You were already missing his bed, you even missed when he would come down to the basement and set you free, “I’m going to take care of you from now on.”

Peter was your Master now, you had to remember that. You belonged to him now and, unlike with Bucky, you belonged to him solely. 

You trusted Bucky. And when you were finally reunited, he’d be overjoyed that you’d done as he told you. Bucky wanted you to be happy here and he wanted you to make Peter happy so that’s exactly what you’d do. 

“Do you like it, Princess?” Though you still had dry tears, your lips pulled into a thin smile which surprised Peter.

Princess, you liked that name. 

The younger man, reach out, and you took the opportunity to brush your face against his hand. Peter stroked your face as you nuzzled into him. You loved his touch and you craved more of the feeling. You pushed closer and closer, causing Peter to fall back on his bottom as you climbed on top of him. Still grinning, you placed soft kisses along his neck and then on his chin. 

He laughed, sitting up on his elbows, “I’ll take that as a yes. How about a tour?”

Anything to make you happy, Master.

+

hope you enjoyed!!

[souichieatr]

hiluuu! can i request a scenario/drabble for tsukishima, kuroo, oikawa, and akaashi where they're in a heated argument with their fem!s/o, then she suddenly faints? turns out she had a fever since the morning and hid it from them but got worse during their fight?

their s/o faints during a heated argument

with tsukishima k, kuroo t, oikawa t, akaashi k

a/n: thank you for requesting i hope you enjoy, im sorry this took forever?????? they get longer each one omg

tsukishima k

you don't even remember why you both are fighting, as he sips another insult your headache gets worse. as you don't say anything just raise your hand to your head he gets even more frustrated. "can you at least act like your age, ignoring me isn't going to resolve the issue." he says not noticing how your body starts to shuffle as you try and keep your balance. rolling his eyes turning to the door, "im not going to deal with this today-" before he can finish he hears a loud thud, turning around he sees your body on the floor. rushing to the floor next to you, "y/n?" bringing his hands up to your head, biting his lip cursing at himself in his head. picking up and lays you down in the bed as he gets water and a towel. when you wake up again you notice youre in bed, trying to sit up youre pushed back down. “don't do that, that wasn't cool” he says in a low tone, handing you a glass and some medicine. taking them both with a nod, “thank you kei and im sorry” you say handing the glass back to him, setting it down on the table he takes your hand. gently kissing the back of it and resting his head on your hand. “why are you on the floor?” you softly smile at him hearing a small ‘shut up.’

kuroo t

the fight started because he started to prioritize the volleyball team more than you. it didnt bother you that he stayed late, went early to practice, it didnt bother you until he started canceling plans with you. he told you repeatedly he would spend more time with you, today not being any different waiting in the rain in front of the cafe you both decided to eat at. not until 10 minutes had passed you went back to the school, walking to the gym with angry steps you opened the door roughly. the whole team looking at you soaking wet, frozen for a second he walks over to you. “y/n what are you doing here?” he says in an annoyed tone. “don't give me that bullshit tetsurō, we had plans today i waited for you to only be stood up again, are you even serious about this? us?” you say motioning your hand between him and you. rolling his eyes and he huffs, “can you stop being dramatic? im a captain this team needs me i didnt know you could be so selfish” widening your eyes at him, trying to catch your breath you close your eyes. “selfish? me selfish? you have some nerve i'll be leaving since i dont wanna bother the captain and his team” you say sarcastically, stepping back outside you start coughing. kuroo following behind you, “this conversation isn't done yet” he says grabbing your wrist, turning you around and his eyes widen. “y/n? you look pale are you okay?” he says as he does your eyes roll back and your legs give out. taking you in his arms he rushed inside asking the guys to grab towels to dry you off. sitting down on the floor with you in between his legs, he holds you close feeling guilty. feeling you stir awake he kisses your cheek, “im so sorry babe this is my fault, if i had just been there you wouldnt have been waiting in the rain” he says hugging you tighter. “im serious about us more than anything. i'll try harder to put more effort into our relationship. “i trust you tetsu and do you have any medicine? my heads killing me” you say smiling, he smiles and hands you a bottle of pills and a water.

oikawa t

sitting on the couch, rubbing your temples. “tooru can we please talk about this? youve been ignoring me all day” you say looking at him as he paces the room. “oh now you wanna talk? i thought you were too busy with iwa to notice me” he said stopping to look at you. “wow why are you so mad? what does iwaizumi have to do with this?” you say giving him a confused face as you rest your hand on the back of the couch. “y/n why dont you just date him huh? you obviously like him so much, why are you even with me?” he says getting louder each word. “literally what?” you saying this getting him more frustrated. sighing at those words he runs his hands through his hair, “i saw you both hugging if i knew you were just jumping my friends maybe i what've listened to all those girls.” “okay now what the actual fuck tooru? i can't hug a friend all of a sudden? did you just imply that i am cheating? i cannot believe you” you say feeling your anger bubble up, he opens his mouth to say something. “no no! because how dare you, you have girls all over you everywhere trying to take pictures and give you gifts, you expect me to worship the ground like they do dont you? guess what im not, you dont get to accuse me of cheating because i hugged someone that someone being your closest friend just what person do you take me as huh?” you say getting up fast, maybe too fast as the pounding in your head gets louder. leaning your weight on the couch as you continue, “me and iwaizumi share one simple goal and thats to keep your ass in line, all those late nights and you overworking yourself, you not coming to anyone for help and your bratty ass attitude hes the only one who'll help me deal with you, im not gonna let you blame him because all hes done is help you.” you say getting the strength to get closer to him as you try and take a step your legs falter. his initial reaction to everything you said had his eyes widened and mouth agape, seeing you almost fall sent him over to you trying to help. “no i can do i-” you say as you start to fall and everything goes black. opening your eyes slowly you feel something cool on your head, “hey youre up” a voice says softly. looking over to see tooru next to you as he grabs your hand, before you could say anything else he speaks up. “let me talk for a bit yeah?” he asks as he looks at your joined hands, whispering a soft “okay” he continues. “im sorry, im sorry for not noticing you weren't feeling good, im sorry for saying you cheated, im sorry for yelling, i just got insecure after i heard some girls talk about how cute you and iwa look and seeing you both hug like that just set me off” he says lifting your hands and kisses your knuckles. “i like how you dont worship the ground i step on, i like how you fight back but when i need you most youre always there. i appreciate everything you and iwa do, i love you y/n.” he finishes and looks at you with teary eyes, pulling him down into a hug you whisper “i love you too.”

akaashi k

now arguing with him isnt a normal thing, usually you both can speak calmly and work it out. he gets frustrated because you're not listening and he's been having a stressed week and just kinda blows up. sighing as he runs his hands through his hair, breathing in and out slowly trying to calm himself down. you roll your eyes, “keiji im fine can you just leave me alone, you dont have to treat me like a baby- '' before you could finish he lets out a small mocking laugh. “i wouldnt treat you like one if you didnt act like one, y/n grow up and take some responsibility so /i/ dont have to be the bad guy, the stressed one, the one who has to take care of you.” staring at him with wide eyes he continues, “you wanted me to stop treating you like a baby stop looking so shocked.” you feel a tickle in your throat, trying to hold it in hoping if youre quiet enough you could sneak away. ultimately failing and having a coughing fit you feel your legs get wobbly. “were you trying to hold it in? so childish” he says looking away about to walk off, turning his head to look at you before he walks away he sees your eyes roll back. you wake up on the couch with a wet towel and a blanket on you, slowly sitting up and looking towards the kitchen you see akaashi quietly making you food. looking back at the table you see a glass and some medicine. taking the items and washing them down alerted akaashi to you being awake, rushing to you he looks down at his hands as he picks at them. “how are you feeling?” he asks quietly, you answer with a quick “fine.” sitting on the side of the couch he faces you, “im sorry theres really no excuse for the way i acted i just i hate seeing you trying to be okay when youre not.” scooting closer you rest your head on his shoulder, “if what its worth i like when you baby me” smiling at you he kisses your forehead. “i'll remember that.”

not proofread

[whosjunglejim4322]

warnings: sleepy sex, switch Jongin, cockwarming sorta? you fall asleep after he nuts in you, theoretically u r on the pill bc I am nasty, (soft?) choking, riding

It's just ten minutes past two a.m when Jongin rolls over with a guttural, sleepy groan, arm snaking its way around your body that's hidden underneath the covers, warm cheek pressing against your shoulder blade.

You're just about to drift off, too, having stayed awake for most of the night due to your boyfriends restless tossing and turning. He's not one to wake up like this, usually down for the count due to the exhaustion that throbs in his bones after a day of constant moving.

But the way he burrows himself further against your figure, supple hands and nimble fingers ever so slightly caressing any bare skin they can reach without being too obvious; your body wakes you up without a choice.

You remain in the same position, however, legs shuffling as to let him know you're not asleep just incase he happens to be clingy in a state of half conciousness. You're still not sure wether or not you're the one being suggestive.

But, this is Jongin, your boyfriend whom you know the insides and outs of at this point in your relationship. His voice is as seraphic as his features, jubilent smile and the crinkles by his warm eyes displaying the likes of someone who is more or less, innocent in nature.

But you know better than anyone just how carnal he can be, how he touches you when the two of you are alone. He allows glimpses of himself to be seen like this whenever he performs, passion running through his veins like hot liquor, eyes lowly lidded. It'll always leave you breathless, awed.

Just the thought has your belly swarming with recurring butterflies. 

But it's another thing completely when it's just you and him, a specific type of unequivocal touch that can only be described as innately Jongin, and it's this knowledge that leads you to believe your boyfriend isn't just craving closeness in a half cognitive state.

His intentions become clear when his ring finger traces the crease of your thigh, teetering against the seam of your underwear as he ascends to your navel. You try not to quiver, and he hums inconspicuously when you roll over, stretching your limbs.

"Why are you up bub?"

He paws at your hip and your thigh brushes the half hard erection that is growing in his shorts. You're too sleepy to be surprised, however you wonder if he can see the glint in your eyes as he lets out a soft, almost inaudible groan from the contact.

You reach out and move some of his tousled hair from in front of his forehead, the tips of your noses touching, his puffy lips brushing past yours while he speaks.

"Was dreaming...had a good dream," you wonder for a moment if he's really awake, with how groggy his low voice sounds. "Can't sleep now."

He's shameless as he pulls your middle flush against him, the heat of his chest warming your forearms as you drop your hand somewhere close to his shoulder, tracing circles along the valley of his collarbones.

"Hmm, you're usually not so eager when you're tired." You feel the corner of his mouth twitch as he halfway smirks, wide palm rubbing your lower back and the top of your thigh as his hips become bolder with their proximity.

"But I miss you, miss being with you," his mouth is plush and sincere as he kisses you, the scent of his skin and the studiness of his body against yours leaving your willpower weak. "M'so busy, dream about making you feel good."

Your fingers gently grasp the ridge of his jaw as his tongue casually slips into your mouth, exploring while you sling your leg over his middle and your centers meet. A shared chorus of satisfied moans slip past your kisses, the comforter that's atop of you both suddenly too hot to be underneath.

"My sweet boy, you deserve so much." You practically purrs against his lips, his cock now solid against the crotch of your panties from your words. You can tell he's properly worked up now, rubbing himself against you.

"Can we...? Please..."

He's unintentionally breathless, senses overwhelmed in the dark and aching to feel more more more. You're so soft in his arms, you're his, and the domesticity of it makes his belly hot with desire.

You nip his plump bottom lip lightly, enough to have him cupping your ass and pushing your hips as close to his as possible in your current position. You do him one better and crawl on top of him all together, his mouth nor his hands straying from yours; refusing, in fact.

Your knees are secure on either side of his warm, taut middle, your hands exploring his broad chest while his fingertips gently grasp the back of your neck.

The kiss is sloppy and becomes lewd very quickly with the way Jongin insists on bucking up against you, years of dancing evident with how smoothly he seems to roll his hips against your cloth covered slit.

Your mouths move together haphazardly, no real rythym now as your inhibitions dissipate between the movement of your tongues. You can tell he's still tired, horny but tired.

You reluctantly pull away from his fever inducing mouth, trying not to become so easily overwhelmed. It's hard when he looks up at you like that, like you're the whole world and more while your fingers slip underneath the waistband of his shorts and pull them down his thighs.

He twitches when you crawl back onto him, the shaft of his smooth dick snug against your center while your mouth leaves a wet trail of open mouthed kisses from his chest to his throat, his skin sweltering.

He whines, and you short circuit at the sound, no matter how familiar it is to your ears. You slip your hand between your bodies to grasp his solid length and slip your panties to the side, grasping onto his broad shoulder for leverage while you sink down onto him.

The stretch is a bit more staggering than you're used to, and it's only now that you're realizing it genuinley has been a while since you and Jongin last got to be this close. He’s always working, as are you and being intimate has somehow slipped through your fingers these past two weeks.

It makes it all the more gratifying, and you can tell he feels just as thrilled, his lips parted and eyebrows furrowed together as a string of expletives leave his mouth.

"You're so wet baby." He says it with strained astonishment, hands wandering from your soft hips to underneath your sleeping shirt and then your breasts. Your hard nipples prod at his palms.

You arch into his touch as you begin to rock yourself against his stiff cock, steady at first in an effort to make the moment last a little longer. You can feel every ridge and curve of him, and you have a hard time not mewling.

"You always make me wet Nini."

You hiccup a gasp as he suddenly thrusts into you, lifting his knees and digging his heels into the mattress in a manner that almost seems knee jerk, like he couldn't help it.

"O-oh baby you're so good to me." It dawns on you quite quickly that he doesn't plan on slowing his minisrations, pulling you down to his mouth by then sides of your neck in a gentle yet urgent manner.

It feels even better like this, his length filling you perfectly in the way it always has, the squelch of your slick as he fucks you only adding to the suddenly thick atmosphere. You can't help but to whimper, body trembling as it remembers just how skilled he really is at making you feel good.

"You like it like this?" He asks earnestly, kissing you between replies to feel the vibration of your soft mewls against his mouth. "Yes Nini, you're so good, s-so good."

His slim fingers find their way to the sides of your throat, and you don't have time to be awestruck by how sweetly he seems to do it, too focused on the way his body moves underneath you.

Your body jolts with the force of his thrusts, and he knows your every reaction so well that it must be obvious how close you are already, your shaky hands grasping his waist.

"Say it again for me, please?"

His tone is different this time, needier and raspier with the effort he's using to make it audible. You can tell just by the way he ever so slightly squeezes the sides of your throat while he begins harshening his pace, what he's hinting at.

And you oblige in the shameless gratification, mimicking his ministrations and securing your fingers around his neck while you fuck yourself onto him in a shared rythym.

It's been too long, he thinks to himself. He's mesmerized, in love with you to a painful degree. Not to mention your mouth...

"So good to me, Nini, you're so fucking big and f-fuck-" he hangs onto every last syllable, watching your lewd expressions and listening to your praises with rapt attention. "want you to fill me up Jongin."

His eyes roll back for just a moment, as your twist your fingers in his honey colored hair, lips suckling the sensitive skin just below his earlobe. His hips stutter, and you know he's as close as you are, hands releasing your neck in favor of keeping you in an iron grip against him.

It all feels like a sweet dream, your face buried against his shoulder, the sweet and warm scent of his skin and soap causing your inner thighs to tingle. You feel him so far inside of you, reaching places only he could, holding you in his arms like a lover all the while.

You're not surprised, to be the first one cumming, but he's struck by a sudden wave of agonizingly overwhelming arousal with the way you cry out his name.

"Jong-jongie, oh-oh!" Your walls have him in a vice grip, and he falls apart while you're quivering against him, his kiss bitten lips finding your tender neck as he pumps himself into you.

"That's my girl, this pussy is m-mine oh b-baby, so fucking good."

His voice is quiet, he's too out of breath, too fucked out. But you can still hear him perfectly, sending heat waves of white hot pleasure through your bones with every word that he groans out.

He fucks himself into you a few more times, languidly and with no real purpose; just needing to savor the feeling. You're still pulsing around him.

His chest rises and falls with less fervor now, his fingertips gently caressing the curve of your back as you rest your head against the crook of his shoulder. He doesn't care to move and neither do you, too tired, and too stubborn to let the other go.

Everything is quiet. And not uncomfortably or unsettlingly so, it’s comforting. You can hear his heartbeat this way, and he can match his breathing up with yours as he does most of the time subconsciously. 

It's two forty five a.m when Jongin whispers sleepily into the darkness, with you asleep on his chest.

"I love you, so much."

[aloeboba]

SO, brain said todoroki working the night shift at a cvs during the summer or something and I think this has already been done, actually (but i don’t remember it so i’m not plagiarizing).

But the absolute chaos that could string from this whole thing. He’s probably a cashier.

First off, he would be so done with this thing.

Like the weirdos who come into gas stations at 3 am are the people he has to deal with

So we have one sleep deprived todo and like 30 sketchy customers with issues

“no ma’am, the coupon isn’t valid. in fact it’s been expired since 2008″

“no sir, i can only scan one coupon per purchase, per customer”

He probably has so many of those interactions that he does, in fact, take multiple coupons at once and expired extra bucks.

Although, when its much to late for our icyhot boy, he probably messes with people on purpose just because he’s bored and too delusional to act like a sane person.

*scans card* “it won’t go through” “oh well try again” “*scans card and it goes through* it won’t go through”

*scanning a pill bottle* “you know, I heard the yakuza was using this as a front for their quirk enhancers, didn’t end well though. Turned people into giant mosquitoes. You should have seen it. Couldn’t eave my house for a month.”

Someone: *grabbing a container of ice cream*

Todo: i heard there was a lawsuit against them. something about smuggling drugs through that exact flavor. Hid it in the caramel chunks.”

If he has to suffer so do they

He also gossips with the older women.

Todoroki is the kind of guy to probably actively flirt with the manager or boss or something to get on their good side or just to get a 50 cent raise

Upgrade: he cannot flirt that well. it’s probably confusing with mixed in Spanish words (?) but the manager finds his efforts cute and somehow flattering.

He definetly bumps into a poorly disguised dabi at some point at 4 am buying cheap hair dye

Todoroki: *eye contact*

Dabi: *nervous eye contact*

Todoroki: ...

Dabi: ...

Todoroki: that’ll be 10 dollars

Dabi: but it says 6

Todoroki: its 10 dollars

*staring continues*

Dabi, who doesn’t want to make a scene: FiNe *digging around in his pocket*

The manager doesn’t tell him that they hired a new night shift shelve stalker so when he hears rustling and footsteps, he just assumes its a big rat or smth

No not a big rat

A human??

Oh uraraka

At first its kind of awkward (especially because todo got so tired of the noise he came at her with a broom and lysol; it did not end well) so they just kind of acknowledge the fact that they know each by staring at each other for minutes at a time, even when he’s checking someone out

They finally decide to talk to each other and its only chaos from there.

They race each other in baskets through the isles and replace labels on shampoo bottles

They probably sniff the perfume behind the counter and rate the smells (once todoroki stole a sample), doing bad french accents and huffing them like they were wine (that didn’t end well though because they both needed sinus medicine afterwards)

Todoroki, doing a bad french accent: ah yes, stronk, woodsy, cheap...

Uraraka: mm-hm, airy and floral, just like the fabreeze I keep in my room

Todo: this one is, yes, yes... balsomic... vinegar that is. what is this?

Uraraka: mm, bubbly and familiar. ah right, like non-toxic scented glue.

Todo: this one is-- *coughing* the worst. I do not recommend this scent, Uraraka.

They were once caught by a someone and todo gave him a dollar to keep his mouth shut

Uraraka and todoroki end up bonding or whatever in the form of pranks and chaos and end up growing closer than they thought they would

They look forward to seeing each other

What i’m trying to say here is this is romance

Todochako fam

Like right now they’re in between dating and best friends (whatever you wanna call that. Will and Grace, maybe?)

Mitsuki goes on a late night run one night and probably recognizes him as katsuki’s classmate and surprised to see him working as cashier like “dont your daddy got money??”

“yes ma’am but i despise him”

She probably goes on a rant abt katsuki and work and he just nods along and throws in a few comments about his job or whatever

“you know, you seem like a nice boy, todoroki-kun. I wouldn’t mind if you dated my son”.

“no offense, mrs. bakugou, but i would punch him.”

They become fast friends

She invites him over sometimes, at some point meets uraraka and loves her also

unfortunatly i have no more to write because i can’t think of anything else but this was fun actually :D I think this is a really fun idea so i might (or if someone else wants to) write a fic about this but idk bc i’m what the kids call “unmotivated most days” so use what you want with these.

(also, i’ve never worked at a cvs before so idk if this is accurate)

edit: i was lowkey brain dead from working on a computer all day when i wrote most of this so honestly i have no clue whats going rereading it so i apologize for the literal weirdness and parts that make no sense so i make edit it later :\

[hazbbyhaz]

sleepless || harry styles

twenty six

pairing: harry styles x OC

synopsis: an emotional night

disclaimer: nightmares, child abuse, blood, descriptions of child abuse, kissing

The mind returns in dream

-Amy Bonner

"Did you know that Queen Victoria had a 14 year old stalker who broke into Buckingham Palace at least four times?"

"I didn't know that." Harry mumbles, turning himself on his side to look at Avery. She is lying on her back, eyes trained on the ceiling, saying anything that comes across her mind.

"Apparently he even stole her underwear once!"

"Avery, we’re supposed to sleep." There was a small bat of silence after Harry’s statement. In truth, Avery had been doing everything she could to avoid sleeping, despite agreeing to rest.

"Oh right" She murmurs, closing her eyes before opening them again. "I’m sorry. What time is it? Is it morning yet?"

"It must be around 1am."

"That's not close to morning at all," Her lips start to quiver at the realization. He watches as she takes two deep breaths, shuts her eyes, and turns to face him; the quivering coming to a stop.

"can't we drink a cup of tea? I always sleep better with tea."

Harry can hear the desperation in her voice. He can see her clinging to any possible scenario that will keep her awake. Every possibility that will prolong the inevitable. She needs sleep. At this point, more than anything.

“You’ve had more than enough tea for the night. We can make more in the morning. But first, we have to sleep." Right outside the window streetlights cast ambient light upon Avery's bedroom. The golden rays dance across her face so elegantly; so gently.

Her eyes are trained on something Harry can’t see, but he is acutely aware of her. He can see the three freckles that have made themselves home on her nose, the heart shape of her lips, the cerulean blue hue of her eyes. He’s never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life.

If only he could take a photograph. Try to capture this moment in its entirety, in all of its beauty. Show them how amazing these small, intimate moments are. Or maybe he didn't want that. Maybe he just wanted to keep her close. Keep this for him, and only him.

"What about my Valerian pills? They help me fall asleep."

"Love, don’t they make it worse?"

"Sometimes, but at least I'll be asleep." Her eyes finally trail up to his own. While his are calm and reassuring, hers are filled with fear. Fear that runs deeper than he could ever imagine.

"What do you dream about, Ave?" His fingers caress her cheek, he can feel her breath hitch as he gently brushes her hair behind her ear.

"I’ve never told anyone," She mutters, her eyes never leaving his own. Not for a second. "not anyone I cared about."

"Then let me be the first" With his hands on her cheeks, his eyes fall to her rosy lips. The familiar urge to kiss her resurfaces, flowing from his head to his toes. But he can’t, he knows he can’t. What they have is too delicate to risk.

From the moment that he had met her, he knew that she was alone. He has never seen her with anyone else, never seen her receive a text message or a phone call. To his knowledge, she doesn’t step foot out of her flat unless something important warrants her to do so.

Deep down, he knows that he is all that she’s got. The only person who is there for her in any true sense. The last thing he wants to do is ruin what they’ve created by giving in to his own urges.

Regardless of Harry's string of thoughts, their eyes meet. Sky blue on forest green. As Avery's eyes trail down to his lips, he slowly leans forward, pressing his lips to her own. The kiss is delicate and soft. With his calloused hands gently cupping her cheeks, Avery feels like that of porcelain. Like a fragile piece of glass someone is terrified to drop.

His hands drop from her face to her hip, pulling her impossibly closer. She grabs at his shirt, heavy breaths escaping as their lips briefly part. They are so close to one another, entangled with each other in every way they could, but it isn’t close enough.

His lips taste like earl grey tea and peppermint gum, a blend Avery didn’t know could be so addictive. Her lips taste of bitter coffee, but he doesn’t mind. They’re hers, that’s all that matters.

A few moments later Harry pulls back. He rests his forehead atop her own, leaving a gentle kiss to her nose as they both regain their breaths. Harry's thoughts diminish as he focuses on what’s happening now. The present. It’s only now that he can really see just how Avery is reacting. Her hands are latched tightly to his shirt, desperately trying to pull him closer. Harry's gentle call of her name does nothing to aid in her growing frustration.

He lets her pull him in once again, their lips reconnecting in a more heated kiss. She bites down on his lower lip, letting him know that he can continue. Harry slowly turns them over, leaning up with his elbows on either side of Avery's head, Avery laying on her back. And they kiss. Averys lips continue locking with his own because this feeling is so different from how numb she has felt. How she has been feeling for far too long.

For the first time that Avery can remember, she feels alive. Feeling Harry's lips on hers, feeling the warmth of his skin underneath her touch, it feels like home. Like comfort and safety, like last minute trips to the beach and drinking tea at house parties. It feels like everything finally coming together.

If only she could stay here for the rest of her life - stay right here, in this moment. Forever. Then everything would be alright. No worries, no mean girls, no nightmares, no sleepless nights. None of it. She would be okay. She could handle every thought spiral, every mean word, every single doubt, if she knew that she could come home to this. Know that she could feel Harry's lips on hers at the end of the day.

The small sounds Avery is emitting make Harry slow his movements down "Ave..." he mumbles in between kisses. “Hey hey hey, it’s okay… slow down, love. It’s okay.”

She can’t look into his eyes, he sees the tears welling up in them. Her whimpers only grow louder once she knows that he is aware of them, worrying him even more. In an effort to calm her, Harry starts trailing kisses down her face.

“I’m not going to hurt you… I am never going to hurt you… I don't ever want to do that.” She hasn’t said a word to him in an alarming amount of time, not letting him know what is going on in her head. His kisses trail down her jaw before pressing softly into her neck, right above her pulse point. “Talk to me, love. Please say something…”

“You will leave…” She says it so quietly that he almost misses it. But when those three words hit his ears his own eyes begin to water. He immediately stops his actions, softly cupping her cheeks in his hands. Her lips quivers once again before she whispers “I don’t want you to leave, Harry.”

"I won’t, Avery. I’m not going to leave." He reassures her, pushing another strand of hair out of her face as a few tears roll down her cheeks. "Look at me, please... I know you’re scared, I know. This is something new for the both of us, and new things are always scary."

"God I'm pathetic," Harry wipes the tears away from her cheeks, looking down at the girl below him with empathetic eyes. "I'm sorry"

“It’s okay. You’re not pathetic. If anyone here is pathetic, it’s me because I am just so smitten by you!”

Avery giggles as Harry presses one final kiss to her lips, both of them smiling into it like lovesick idiots. His arms wrap around her before turning them over, settling into a comfortable silence.

“Are you going to be able to sleep?” Avery nods her head, looking up at Harry.

"Do you promise you’ll wake me?" Her head is lying on his chest, right above his heart, and his arm is tightly wrapped around her petite frame.

"I'll wake you, I promise."

“Mommy!” I cry, hitting the cellar door with my fists. I can see a little bit of light from under the door, it shines on the staircase all the way down to the floor. I’ve been trying to get her to come here for a while, I don’t know if she can hear me.

“Mommy! it’s really cold…” I still don’t hear her. Hitting the door that many times makes both of my hands hurt. I sit up against the wall next to the door, shivering. The wall is just as cold as everything else. The stones in it hurt my back as I sit.

I got to talk to Daddy on the phone a couple days ago, and he said we would go to the park today. I really want to go, but I don’t know where he is. I don’t want to be here anymore, not with Mommy. I just want to go upstairs to my room. Sleep in my bed with all my stuffed animals and my blankie. Maybe I could stay with Daddy after the park.

“Can I please have my blankie?… Please, Mommy. It’s really really cold!” Sheepy is sitting against the wall opposite me. I grab him and hold him close to my chest. “Are you cold, Sheepy?” I pet his fur, but it’s not as soft as it used to be, and he is missing one of his button eyes. It fell off earlier today.

“Don’t worry, Daddy is gonna take us to the park soon. He promised, remember?”

There is a very loud noise and I scream as the door slams open. Before I can move out of the way, I am falling down the stairs. My head hits the wall and all it’s stones many times before I hit the bottom. I open my eyes and see the bottom of the staircase, my eyes all blurry as I cry out to Mommy. She is standing all the way at the door.

“Mommy!” I try to walk towards her, but my head is so dizzy I can barely move. As soon as I stand I fall back down again. “Please let me out… I know i’ve been bad, but Daddy wants to take me to-“

“Your Father isn’t coming today, so be quiet! For god's sake, how many times do I have to tell you to stop screaming!” She starts walking down the stairs.

“But he promised he would…” All of a sudden I can hear a loud slap, Mommy’s hand hitting my cheek really hard. My ears start to ring as my head hits the hard concrete floor. She stands over me as I keep crying. I can see Sheepy laying on his side not far from me.

"Listen! I don't care what your father said, I need you to be quiet. Understood?"

"Yes, mommy. But can you fix Sheepys eye? Please? It fell off earlier and I can’t put it back on." I grab Sheepy and hold him out to her, she takes him out of my hand. I pull his button eye out of my pocket, keeping it in my hand. "Here's his eye."

Mommy huffs, looking at Sheepy but then she turns around and starts walking up the stairs, his eye still in my hand.

"No! NO! Mommy, the button, you have to take his eye to fix him! He can’t see without his eye! Please don't take Sheepy away from me, please!" I stand up super fast, still very dizzy, and try to walk to the stairs. But Mommy is too far away to hear me and I can’t reach her anymore. I can hear the door close; leaving me down here all by myself.

I lay back down on the floor, it feels even colder down here now. My whole body hurts. I am cold and all alone.

Avery wakes up without a sound. Everything is silent; impossibly still. The silhouette of a tree looms over the room, encasing the space in it’s dark, sinister shadow.

Hot, heavy tears stream down her face, her breath beginning to quicken. Every inch of her body hurts, every movement awakening an ache she didn’t know was there. But of course it hurts, the fall just happened yesterday. How couldn’t it hurt? No body could heal after only a few hours time from something like that. She can feel bruises beginning to bloom beneath her skin, no doubt covering most of her body.

Her anxious eyes roam over her surroundings. She is not locked in the cellar, but sitting atop a bed. It is still cold, so very cold, but comfortable and familiar. She can’t quite place it. Only now is the body laying peacefully by her side of notice to her. Harry is still asleep, his head resting mere inches from her thigh. Harry… where did he come from? Has he just arrived? Did he see the bruises?

The sound of a car backfiring rang through the silence, making Avery jump and her head shoot to the window overlooking the London street. her motion startled Harry awake, he began to stir beside her.

His eyes opened slowly, his gaze falling upon her figure. She was visibly shaking, tears streaming down her face. She looked terrified. At this sight, he was wide awake, quickly sitting upwards.

"Oh Avery, I'm sorry I-I didn't hear you-"

"My arm hurts really bad, Harry." She whimpers, cradling her left arm to her chest. "It hurts so much."

"Where does it hurt?" He carefully reaches out to her, his fingers softly brushing over her skin. To the touch, she was ice cold. No wonder she was shivering.

"Everything hurts…" Harry slowly pulls her towards him, encasing her shivering figure in two blankets before settling her body between his outstretched legs, wrapping both of his arms around her. His hands are rubbing up and down the expanse of her back, the motion attempting to soothe all the distress. Her head rests between his neck and shoulder.

"Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs," Her cries grew to hiccuping sobs, her breath irregular and too fast for her lungs to process. Harry freezes at her words.

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

"And now everything hurts, Harry. Look at all the bruises." Her words are spoken through heartbreaking sobs. He looks over her, searching for any evidence of the fall, but nothing can be seen. There aren't any bruises on her, no visible ones anyway. Just her cold, pale, flawless skin. She's hallucinating, she thinks her dream happened yesterday.

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

"It's going to be okay, Ave... just breathe" Harry murmurs into her hair, his hand resting gently on the back of her head, lightly pushing it farther into his neck. And as Avery concentrates on her breathing, tears fill Harry's eyes, quietly running down his cheeks.

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

"Look... the bruises are already gone." He lifts her blankets ever so slightly, letting his fingertips run over her skin. Harry delicately lifts her arm to his lips, pressing soft kisses to it. Starting at her hands, he trails them all the way up to her shoulder before moving to the other arm. "No more bruises, angel. See?"

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

She nods slowly, pressing her head against his racing heart, her tears now beginning to dry on her raw cheeks. After a few minutes, Harry can feel her stable breaths against his neck. The small puffs of warm air signalling that she has fallen back asleep.

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

Harry looks down at her, replaying what has just occurred over in his mind. He leans his head down, Kissing the top of Averys head as all of it catches up with him. He can’t help the sob that escaped his lips, the weight of it shaking his chest, tears falling from his eyes.

At the sudden movement, Avery shoots up. Raising her head to look at him, her eyes meeting his own. A worried expression plastered across her tear stained face.

"What’s happened?" She exclaims, her hands coming up to rest on his cheeks, eyes searching what could have caused him to cry. "Harry, don't cry... is everything alright? Please tell..."

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

That's enough for him to know that she doesn't remember waking up. Doesn't remember crying to him about all the pain. Telling him what happened. "It's nothing," He manages to let out, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead, then her nose, before leaving a lingering one on her lips. "I'm just so happy that you're here with me. That you’re safe."

"I'm happy too." She smiles softly. She wants to press further about what has happened, but she knows now is not the right time. Harry laces their fingers together before bringing their joined hands to his lips, trying his hardest to push all of this out of his mind.

It takes half an hour for the both of them to get settled into bed again. Harry leaving Avery's side only to steep her a cup of peppermint tea. With time, she fell back asleep, this one being dreamless. With her finally at rest, Harry was left awake, watching over her carefully. His hand rests atop her cheek, his thumb carting over the soft skin, letting her know that he is right by her side.

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

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[ddarker-dreams]

A concept from a dream I had: Hisoka wants Chrollo's darling for himself and tries to steal her from him. Darling gets injured in the ensuing fight and has to get patched up afterwards by Machi. Then, a bit of fluff, darling seeks out Chrollo and hugs him for comfort because the whole thing has her a bit shaken. (Love your writing btw, it's super well written and captivating!)

Tunnel Vision. Yan Chrollo x Reader

Warnings: Implied amnesia.  Word count: 2.2k. Note: thank you very much!! i made some minor changes, where darling is a member of the phantom troupe, and not yet aware of chrollo’s obsession. i hope you enjoy! i’ve had a lot of ideas for this specific darling with nen abilities and this idea seemed to fit her very well...

Sharp, pointed nails digging into your skin. The sickeningly sweet fragrance of bubblegum blended with metallic blood. Black dots obscuring your vision, the world growing further away with each miserable second. Through labored breathing, a tense dialogue is exchanged between both parties, the ringing from your ears making it impossible to know for sure what they’re saying. Falling in and out of consciousness, you pick up on a few phrases. 

“Just admit it, you’re no worse than I am. Look what you did to the poor girl. ♥” 

“Maybe so, but that’s inconsequential. Your judgment means nothing.” 

...

“Ah… what… a shame, that I didn’t... get to play with her as much as you did--” 

“Hmm… to think your voice has never bothered me this much until now. This should silence you permanently.”

“--So you shouldn’t move around much until it fully heals,” Machi instructs, her voice clear and direct. At your lack of immediate response, she frowns, snapping her fingers to pull you from your trance-like state. “Oi, [First]. Are you even listening?” 

You blink, her voice cutting through your clouded mind like a knife. “My bad, I wasn’t paying attention.” 

Machi sighs and places a hand on her hip. Sapphire eyes glance over your person, not even bothering to hide her intentions, stopping every time she reaches your healed wounds. Even though your inebriated state, you can tell she’s deep in thought. You doubt she’d tell you what’s on her mind if you asked. So you sit there in silence, politely waiting for her to repeat what you missed. 

“I could tell. Just take it easy, you’re going to need a few days of rest.” Machi walks to her bag, rustling through its contents. She picks up a bottle of pills and places it on your nightstand. The same medicine that she had given you before treatment, to dull the pain. You fight back the urge to smile at the small gesture. Had you been any other customer of Machi’s, she would’ve left by now without a word, indifferent to your condition. Despite your best efforts, she catches onto your softened expression and clicks her tongue.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she deadpans, shooting you a glare. You give an apologetic smile. “Take one a day until it’s gone.”

“Thank you, Machi. I appreciate it.” 

“As you should,” Machi throws her bag over her shoulder and goes to the door. Before she can turn the nob, she turns back at you. “I forgot to mention, but you have a visitor. The boss has been waiting here since he brought you in.” 

An unknown emotion stirs in the depths of your soul. Any playful retaliation you had for Machi’s previous comment dies on your tongue, your eyebrows furrowing. Why do you feel troubled by this revelation? You fight back the anxiety that bubbles up in your stomach. There’s no time to linger on this newfound unease, as Chrollo enters the room after exchanging pleasantries with Machi. Despite your efforts to suppress your discomfort, your body does as it pleases, heart palpitating and throat feeling tight.

He shuts the door behind him quietly and leans against the wall.

Chrollo Lucilfer. You consider your relationship to be a strictly professional one -- maybe a touch of reverence on your behalf -- never feeling as friendly with him as with the other members. He stands before you now in casual attire. Jet black hair frames his face, loose and fine, proudly showcasing the unusual tattoo on his forehead. It’s strange to see him without his trademark leather coat. Instead, he wears jeans and a navy blue undershirt. Immediately, you pick up on the bloodstains on his shirt, assuming he had shed his coat before coming in.

He smiles at your staring, not commenting as you glance away. “How are you feeling?” 

“The medicine hasn’t worn off, so not too bad,” you struggle to exhale, your breathing ragged. Why does it feel so warm in here all of a sudden? “Machi told me you, uh, carried me here. Thank you. I’m sorry about your shirt… I’ll buy you a replacement.” 

Chrollo puts a hand up to stop you. “There’s no need.” 

Being one on one with your mysterious boss is as awkward as you imagined it would be. You still don’t know why he’s here. In between jobs, Chrollo would disappear into thin air, untraceable until calling the Troupe back together. So him being the one to find you on the verge of death hasn’t made sense. Machi gave noncommittal answers whenever you brought this up or told you to ask him yourself. Which you intended to at the time, but now that you’re in his intimidating presence, the words die on your tongue before they can begin. 

He pushes himself off the wall and sits on the edge of your bed. The proximity feels strangely intimate, your face flushing at how familiar the act seems to him. Chrollo’s close enough now where you can pick up on his rich cologne. Dry wood with hints of leather. The scent increases your heart rate, anxiety at a new peak. You bite your lip and ball your hands into a fist to try and cope with the all-encompassing unease. To appear weak in front of him would be an insult to your tattered pride. 

“Machi informed me about your memory,” Chrollo leans forward as if to inspect you. Grey eyes bore deep into your soul, searching for something. “She said you thought it was July when you regained consciousness.” 

You swallow thickly at his questioning. How humiliating is this? Whatever it was that had happened to injure you already felt degrading enough. your pride as a competent Nen user in shambles. The most plausible explanation is that Chrollo discovered you after you had lost a fight, but the remaining details are fuzzy at best. Theorizing is all you can do. The unexplained amnesia is frustrating, but it’s only a few months, so you figure it could’ve been worse. 

“That’s correct.”

Chrollo closes his eyes, as if in deep reflection. “So that’s how it is. I’m sorry to disturb you while you’re trying to recover, but can I ask a few questions?” 

“Ah, of course. I’m sorry if I’m forgetting something important…” 

This catches his attention, his posture tensing ever so slightly. You notice how his jaw tightens and assume your guess was correct. Your desire for answers on these missing four months strengthens and you feel hopeful that Chrollo holds some of the answers. It’s frustrating how both Machi and Chrollo seem to know more than you do but are refusing to give solid answers. Maybe they’re being considerate of your health? You’re not so fragile that you need to be coddled by your fellow Troupe members. 

Chrollo looks down at you through thick eyelashes. “Do you think that you are?” 

“I… I think so, yes.” 

He sits silently for a moment, running a hand through his hair and giving a bittersweet smile. “We’re in a relationship.” 

Wait, what? This would explain why Chrollo was with you at a time when the Troupe wasn’t gathered and his casual demeanor. Your expression must not be as schooled as you intended, as he gives a humorless chuckle to your wide eyes and parted lips.  You… were in a relationship with The Phantom Troupe’s boss? Your boss? When did that happen? How did that happen? Did the others know? Ah, the teasing that would come with that. It’s not that you don’t find him attractive, your eyes work just fine, but the revelation still takes you back. Cheeks burning, you break eye contact and play with your hair. Feeling overwhelmingly self-conscious, you pull your blanket up further to cover your bare shoulders. 

“There’s no need to be so embarrassed, [First],” Chrollo chastises with a playful tilt of his head. “I’ve seen all of it many times before.” 

He’s not making this easier on you. You’re desperate to move on from the subject and decide to bring up another troublesome topic. Though you have an idea of what the answer will be, you’d still prefer that he’d confirm it for peace of mind. 

“I was wondering, boss--” you cut yourself off with an apologetic smile when he furrows his eyebrows, “--I mean, Chrollo, about my Hatsu. I can tell I don’t have it now. Are you ‘borrowing’ it?” 

There’s no other plausible explanation. In what other scenarios would you lose a fight that horrendously? You can’t picture anything else, your abilities have been enough to earn you Chrollo’s recognition and subsequent invitation to the Troupe years ago. It’s not uncommon that your boss will ask to borrow other Troupe member’s abilities. Sometime during the months that you’ve forgotten, this must’ve happened, or so you assume. 

Chrollo nods his head. “I am, yes. Why do you ask? Would you like it back?” 

“It does feel like a part of me is missing,” you admit sheepishly, scratching your cheek. “So, if it isn’t too much trouble…” 

“I had to delay the job I borrowed it for due to what happened to you. Is it alright if I hold onto it for just a bit longer?” He’s moving even closer to you now than before. The bed shifts underneath his weight, Chrollo delicately taking your face into his hands. Your mind has trouble scrounging together a comprehensible response. How can you focus when the pads of his thumbs rub soothing circles against your cheek, his deep eyes hypnotizing. You swallow thickly when his pointer finger drags slowly against your bottom lip. Chrollo told you that you’re together, you remind yourself, assuming he has just missed touching you. It’s impossible to not notice the hungry gleam in his eyes.

“Oh, well, in that case, it’s fine.” You only manage to relax when he pulls away from you, content with your response. This has been a draining series of events. Chrollo’s one-sided familiarity isn’t easy to keep up with, you still view him as your boss and he views you as a lover. Sensing your apprehension, he takes your hand in his and places it over your pounding heart. 

“Do you feel this?” He hums, to which you nod, speechless at the bold action. “Even if you don’t remember your love for me, your body hasn’t forgotten a thing from our time together.” 

Is that what this feeling is? Love? You want to trust him, to take his word for it, but something still doesn’t feel right. Chrollo’s presence has kept you on edge ever since he entered your room. Even now, your skin is covered in goosebumps, hair standing on the back of your neck. What else are you forgetting? This is the question that reverberates in your mind, threatening to consume you entirely. Softly, as not to offend him, you take his hand off you. Chrollo’s expression is unreadable as you do so.

“I’m sorry, Chrollo, I’m just not sure I’m ready for... this yet.” You admit in truth, guilt washing over you at how his flirtatious demeanor changes to a calculating one. This is the version of Chrollo that you’re most familiar with. Your mysterious boss, who coldly issues orders and relishes in thrill of thievery, someone not as personal as he’s been acting like. Chrollo moves back and you’re grateful for the room to gather your bearings.

“Of course,” his aloof tone sends shivers down your spine, a distant gleam in his eyes. “I hope you don’t mind, but I have every intention of watching over you until you recover. It wouldn’t sit well with me otherwise.” 

Chrollo motions to your closet door, which is slightly ajar. Inside you recognize some of his clothes that are hanging next to yours. “And I do live here, but I’ll sleep on the couch for tonight. How does that sound?” 

So the two of you were so close that you had invited him to move in? How fast was this relationship going, anyway? It doesn’t feel like you to get that intimate with someone else in such a short time. The way Chrollo phrased it makes it sound like you used to sleep in the same bed too, how embarrassing… God, his comments are going to be the end of you. You need time to think. To let all this information that’s been thrust onto you sink in. 

“If it’s not too much for an inconvenience. I feel awful… about forgetting as much as I have. Machi said she didn’t see any notable head injuries, so I can only assume it was a Nen ability.” 

“That could be it,” Chrollo responds more flippantly than you expected, standing from your bed. You thought he’d be eager to explore the avenues of returning your memory. Maybe it’s too painful to think about? “You haven’t eaten since this morning, so I’ll get us some dinner. Keep resting up.” 

“Thank you. I’m sorry for all this trouble.” 

Chrollo waves away your apology without concern. He does, however, acknowledge you before leaving your shared bedroom. There’s a smile on his face that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. You hope you’re imagining it. 

“By the way, [First]... I want you to know this. I’ll have you fall in love with me again. That’s a promise.” 

Then he’s gone without another word.

[atinybitofau]

[ateez] S E O N G H W A ⤮ baby daddy au

HIS SON IS A PRODIGY AND HE NEEDS A (mommy) NANNY. MAFIA SEONGHWA.

a/n: in honor of the beautiful vlive from last night 😭😭. how ya’ll doing Seonghwa stans?

• Seonghwa’s proud of his son.

• even if he works dirty jobs—

• isn’t exactly proud of himself.

• he’s got pride, believe me.

• but it’s not ordinary pride.

• Seonghwa’s far from the ordinary.

• “The nanny quit.” Hongjoong teeter’s Seonghwa’s baby-double on his hip. “Hwa, you need to find someone who can handle Yeolhwa. Your son is as bad as you. If not, worse.”

• he chuckles lowly putting down his stack of papers before reaching over for his son.

• his son always curling at the scent and warmth of his father.

• he playfully glares picking at his cheeks before telling him, “Yeolhwa, you can’t just pull nanny’s hair when you can’t get something you want. That’s not good.”

• Yeolhwa’s too young to understand.

• because his son is spoiled by everyone he encounters.

• and Seonghwa expects nothing but when he works his ass off to get the things he wants.

• he doesn’t want his son to struggle the way he did when he was young.

• “What’s the mother doing?” Hongjoong is merciless when he asks. “That dumb skank only knows one thing and it’s popping kids and popping pills.”

• he admits he’s had too much leisure when having his fun in the past—

• but he never regrets having his son in a mistake he can barely even remember.

• “I’ve made it clear he needs no mother.”

• “Seonghwa, no matter what you do, that boy needs a mother.” the younger rolls his eyes. “A nanny can only make up so much for what you deprive. And your job doesn’t make things easier. You can’t take care of him like this forever. Not by yourself.”

• Seonghwa teeters his own son to sleep in his arms.

• staring and cradling his face like he’s the greatest gift not even money can buy—

• not even his power.

• he didn’t have to kill someone to get Yeolhwa.

• his son is everything to him.

• but he has to make sacrifices to give his son everything.

• nothing is ever just given.

• “I’m sorry it’s such short notice, Ms. y/n. But I hope the accommodations we have are enough to settle with.” Hongjoong opens the door for you. “Yeolhwa can be a little arduous when it comes to caretaking. Do be careful.”

• you are anxious you must admit.

• the home smells eerily like iron and musk.

• you can tell the job you took wasn’t just leisure or easy money.

• “Oh.” you shyly smile. “I’m sure he’s just a little hard to understand. Children can be unpredictable and we can’t blame them for that.”

• Hongjoong hears that too many times.

• knows that’s what they all say.

• chokes on his breath before he says something that might scare you away.

• “Well I must get back.” he hands you a cellphone and a book of references before pulling his suit. “Please don’t hesitate to call me. Everything you need is in that book. I’ll be back to relieve you at 9 pm tonight.”

• “Thank you, Mr. Hongjoong. I hope I don’t let you down.”

• he scoffs at that. “Good luck, Ms. y/n. You’re gonna need it.”

• you don’t know what that means.

• but you’re more concerned on taking care of a child who is claimed to be intolerable.

• and you stern by the idea of inexperienced children.

• because they’re not like us.

• they learn from what they’re surrounded with.

• “M-mr. Hongjoong. I’m sorry for bothering you but I was wondering if I can take Yeolhwa to the park today. I see there’s no schedule for outside play time and I—“

• “Unfortunately his father doesn’t approve of outside exposure.” Hongjoong’s fast to quib. “He’s going to have to settle playing inside.”

• “But Mr—“

• “I apologize y/n but that just can’t happen.”

• you observe Yeolhwa.

• he’s a quiet and kept child.

• but he doesn’t like the word no.

• no, he likes getting what he wants.

• and he plays with his toys like they’re not toys at all.

• holds his toy gun like it’s almost real.

• “Yeolhwa, what’s that baby?”

• he looks up to you with golden eyes. “Nanny y/n.”

• you smile at the small boy who offers you a book. “You want me to read to you?”

• he cracks a smile and curls in your lap.

• he’s a sweet kid and is quite capable.

• but you see why he’s not easy to deal with.

• not when he throws tantrums like he’s a grown ass adult—

• “Yeolhwa baby, put the book down.” you ease him in the best way possible. “Sweetie, you can’t play anymore. You have to take a nap.”

• he sobs again.

• hurling a heavy hard cover book in your direction.

• sighing, you only collect the things he throws never giving it attention.

• it only peeves him more.

• “You can cry all you want. But crying won’t get you your toys, baby. You have to sleep.”

• eventually fulfilling your hopes,

• he gets tired.

• curling in your lap when he seeks comfort and warmth for slumber.

• once he’s asleep, you pack your things ready to leave for the night.

• “I hope he wasn’t too much trouble.”

• Hongjoong’s surprised the safe house wasn’t a complete wreck.

• he’s surprised nothings broken.

• but notices the bruising marks that formed on your legs.

• “I’m assuming you won’t be back?” he asks while teetering the small sleeping boy on his hip.

• “I’ll be back.” you affirm. “And I don’t intend to leave any time soon.”

• he’s convinced you’re different.

• that you have a certain will and composure that resembles someone he knows.

• tells Seonghwa immediately.

• “She’s worth watching. You should definitely see.”

• it happens again for the next couple days.

• but Yeolhwa’s toys hurt more than the books.

• and now you’re bleeding hard in the bathroom while he sleeps in his bed.

• “Children are unpredictable, y/n.” you mumble to yourself. “They grow learning from you.”

• Seonghwa watches through his monitor how you treat his child.

• sometimes peeved that you don’t give his son what he wants—

• but mesmerized when his son crawls into your lap every time despite it.

• “Hongjoong, I’ll be picking up Yeolhwa tonight. And prepare Yunho for babysitting duty.”

• Yeolhwa cries when he’s pulled out of your arms by a dark suited man,

• wants to stay in yours.

• crying for your name while you smile softly at him, hand to his cheek.

• “I’ll be back tomorrow, baby.” you coo. “Be a good boy okay? And I promise if you don’t cause trouble, I’ll come back every time.”

• he understands well for a child.

• curling obediently into the dark suited man who resembled him after you spoke.

• “I’m assuming you’re the infamous father?”

• Seonghwa studies you. “You take care of a child well. Thank you.”

• you shake it off pulling at your scarf. “I take care of a child as if it’s my own. Thank you for letting me.”

• your voice is soft,

• motherly and gentle.

• Seonghwa hasn’t felt this kind of delicate emotion in years.

• “I have dinner waiting. Care to join me?”

• you smile while holding at Yeolhwa’s reaching hand. “I have my own family I must attend to, Mr. Park.”

• “It’ll only be a couple minutes.”

• you notice the tattoos on his neck.

• the similar stamp of injustice that lingered on each of the men you’ve met prior.

• realizing days ago that Seonghwa’s son was a prodigy.

• one so that isn’t exactly safe or ordinary.

• “Your family relies on you.” Seonghwa keeps his eyes on you in midst of eating. “You’re a very lovely woman, y/n. Strong willed and captivating.”

• you blink softly unsure of how to respond. “I do what I must..”

• “Don’t we all.”

• your eyes meet his and you swallow your emotions harshly biting back at your lip.

• you don’t deny he’s a charming man.

• like his son, quiet and kept.

• “But you’re a beautiful woman too.” he admits. “Caring and gentle. My son’s fond of you for those reasons. He has good taste.”

• “Like his father I presume?” you tease making him laugh. “I have one request I want to light up though, Mr. Park. I want to bring your son out. Expose him to more than just the guns and walls.”

• he notes your observance.

• strong willed indeed.

• “I trust you.”

• you should be the one trusting him.

• but it’s inevitable what happens with his son as soon as he’s vulnerable, exposed.

• he’s a prodigy wanted by the best and worst of the world.

• and now your shielding a child with your own life.

• as if he was yours.

• “Hey baby, don’t cry. You’re gonna be okay. Yeolhwa, you’re gonna be okay sweetie.”

• he’s only crying because you’re crying.

• cause you don’t know what to do in this situation.

• but when Seonghwa appears from nowhere, spins you and his son around into his chest,

• you suddenly feel safe.

• him guarding you,

• you shielding his son.

• “Y/n, look at me.” he’s careful to touch you. “I’m gonna need you to come with me, okay?”

• you can only blink when his son is yanked out of your hands,

• the poor boy wanting only you.

• but with Seonghwa’s men, he’s safer.

• Seonghwa staying behind to protect you.

• “Y-Yeolhwa!”

• “He’s gonna be okay.” Seonghwa caresses your face shooting blank bullets over the car you two hide against. “I need to get you out of here okay? You need to be strong for me.”

• crying’s not gonna get you anywhere and if anyone were to know that, it would be you.

• so you follow.

• now safe from harm, Yeolhwa sleeping soundly on your lap,

• while his men try to console you with a cup of hot herbal tea and sweet talk.

• “This must be a lot for you. We’re sorry y/n.”

• you smile softly bouncing Seonghwa’s son up and down on your lap. “I don’t mind. I read the book Hongjoong gave and it was all in the fine print. A disclaimer that promised to keep me safe.”

• it’s no lie even Seonghwa’s men find you attractive.

• and it might be because you’re so humble.

• so delicate.

• Seonghwa has a proposition for you when Yeolhwa’s asleep.

• today being the day you should be quitting.

• but you promised Hongjoong your full effort and nothing but.

• “Y/n, stay with me.”

• Seonghwa leans his forehead against yours, hand cradling the line of your jaw.

• you feel warm against his touch.

• like a baby to a mother.

• in this case, a woman to a man.

• “Stay with me and Yeol.” he runs a finger over your parted lips. “He needs you. He needs a mother.”

• he admits his son has grown to love you.

• and maybe he’s grown to love you too.

• “I can’t take care of him the way you do.” he watches as your eyes lull to his voice. “He won’t be able to live without you.”

• “I’ll stay for as long as he needs me too.”

• it’s the first time Seonghwa’s ever stayed home.

• ever slept in his own bed with his own son curling into his chest.

• but it’s not the first time he’s slept in a bed with a woman.

• but it’s the first in his own bed with a woman he loves.

• “Mommy, hurry..”

• your eyebrows furrow and you whip around to face Seonghwa and his son,

• “M-mommy?”

• Seonghwa chuckles brushing through his sleepy son’s hair. “You heard him, mommy. Come to bed.”

• you take care of his son like he’s your own.

• but now Yeolhwa doesn’t need a nanny anymore.

• most of the time, looking for his father.

• “He doesn’t need me anymore, Seonghwa.” you playfully nudge at him when his chocolate haired son plays with new toys. “I don’t think I need to stay.”

• “Absurd.” the mafia boss spins you on your feet so your lips meet his. “If he doesn’t need a nanny, he needs a mother. But if he didnt need you at all then stay because I do.”

• you giggle against your boyfriend’s lips.

• “Hongjoong keeps having me sign a contract.” you pull at his collar, studying his eyes some more. “But the one this morning seemed to have unordinary discrepancies.”

• “That’s because that was a marriage contract.”

• “Ah.” you tease, him biting at your lip. “That must be why I saw your name instead of Yeol’s.”

• “APPA!”

• you two are suddenly pulled apart, the small boy holding out his arms protecting your legs.

• “You’re hurting mommy with your teeth! Bad appa.”

• you choke a laugh when Seonghwa furrows at the cockblock son of his.

• “Yeolhwa, you can’t just hurt me to get the things you want.” Seonghwa teases hoisting up his smiley son on his hip. “Who taught you that?”

• “You appa. You said we have to protect mommy from bad people. And that mommy should never get hurt.”

• “Oh yeah. I did, didn’t I?”

@atinybitofau

[jpegjade]

Hot Coco (Part 2) - Spencer

random but i finished hot coco part 2 while procrastinating a paper!!! 

warnings: talks about medication and a panic attack but that’s it. 

genre: fluff. a little angsty 

word count: hella. 

Hot coco part 1 - Here

enjoy!

*****

“I hate this.” You muttered, bouncing your leg.

The anxiety filling the air, you noticed every detail about the room and it made you nervous. The little girl across from you wouldn’t stop staring and her mom didn’t do anything to tell her that staring was rude. She also wouldn’t keep still, swinging her legs back and forth while yours bounced. The pictures on the walls were all a little bit crooked. You didn’t like that. You wanted to fix it. Why was it bothering you so much? Everything seemed to bother you these days, even when Spencer was home.

“You’re biting your lip and bouncing your leg. You’ve been staring at that little girl the whole time we’ve been here and you keep fidgeting with the rips in your jeans. You’re anxious about something. What’s up?” Spencer said, half whispering into your ear, trying not to disturb the quiet in the waiting room.

The waiting room wasn’t that big. It was just wide enough to fit the 6 people waiting in the room, plus you and Spencer, but not with enough breathing room. You felt suffocated in that room.

“I don’t like doctors. I especially don’t like the ones that will just tell me something’s wrong with me and classify me as something. I’m not something. I’m a goddamn person.” You angrily half whispered back. You were a little louder than Spencer so the mom of the little girl shot you beady eyes as if you cared. You had the extreme urge to flip her off and Spencer noticed your hand twitching so he grabbed it, interlacing his fingers between them.

“You can’t tell children to go fuck themselves.” Spencer whispered, grinning. “Imagine if it was the girls.”

You paused for a second, thinking about your daughters. The funniest part was that they had seen you get angry at Spencer, even if he didn’t get angry, and you screamed ‘Fuck you’ at him when he barely responded.

“Y/n Reid.” The nurse called out.

You and Spencer stood up together, walking towards the open door, following the nurse. You got your basic vitals taken, weight and blood pressure. You weren’t excited about your weight, and Spencer saw it in your face so he said your weight was “so many pounds of love for only him.” You smiled at his cheesiness, following the nurse into the psychiatrist’s office. The office was different than going to a general doctor. There was no bed for you to recline on, there were only two seats in front of a desk.

The psychiatrist was a nice enough older lady who spent her time trying to get your back story, understand your history, know more about your experiences with anxiety and stress. She just talked to you like a normal human being, not like a patient. She even laughed at some of your jokes, depending on which one you cracked. All of them were about how much you loved your husband and how outgoing your daughters were.

“Do you often have panic attacks and the medication you have doesn’t work?” She asked, scribbling on the paper.

“What medication?” You asked, wondering what you were missing out on.

“She doesn’t take medication.” Spencer said, noticing that your leg was bouncing again. It wasn’t bouncing a moment before. He put his hand on your leg and gently moved his thumb to help calm you.

“Well I’m going to give you something for the day to day anxiety and something for the panic attacks. I’ll see you in two weeks to check in, alright?” The doctor said, handing over some samples and a piece of blue paper with her handwriting on it.

Saying your goodbyes and scheduling the next appointment was a daze to you so Spencer handled it. He was used to making appointments for his mom so long ago that he already knew how things went.

The car ride home was just as frustrating as the appointment so you sat there, arms crossed, staring out into the distance. You barely registered when the two of you pulled into the driveway, parking next to Penelope’s car. Spencer turned off the engine and looked ahead while you looked out your window.

“I used to hate driving.” He said, chuckling.

“Spencer, you still hate driving.” You scrunched up your face.

“That's true. But I hate my girls not being able to get around properly, especially when my favorite girl isn’t feeling her best.” Spencer said, reaching over for your hand.

You uncrossed your arms and let Spencer hold your hand. You felt some of your anger melt away.

“Spencer, I’m broken. How am I supposed to be a good mom to the girls with these?” You shook the sample pill bottles.

“Pills don’t make you any less of a good mom. They don't make you any less of a good wife or less of a person. Honey, you just need some extra help staying regulated and calm.” Spencer kissed your hand and held it to his cheek, flashing those big puppy eyes at you.

“It’s just something else I can’t do by myself…” You said, sighing.

Tears began to prickle your eyes when you felt Spencer put his head in the crook of your neck, resting on your shoulder. His hair was fluffy on your cheek as a tear slipped and you smiled at the feeling. It must not have been comfortable to stretch his torso over the middle console but he still made the effort anyway.

“You know that having to take medication doesn’t define you, right? Needing chemical assistance isn’t a bad thing. It just means you have a need and that’s how you fill the need when I can’t be there. And when I can be there. And when the girls can be there. And when we all can be together, drinking hot chocolate and watching kids movies together.” Spencer lifted his head to kiss you on the cheek.

“That’s easy for you to say.” You sighed, wiping a tear away.

You didn’t know why this was really so frustrating to you but you knew that this was the last thing you wanted. You knew it was hard for Spencer to watch you need medication because it made him think about his mom. You didn't like the moments when you reminded him of his mom because he should only have to worry about his mom and his kids. He shouldn’t have to worry about his wife.

“Let’s go in and get some ice cream. I think you need some ice cream.” Spencer kissed your cheek again before he grabbed the bag of samples and got out of the car.

You watched as he shuffled around to your side of the car, opening the door for you. You wiped away your last tear and stepped out of the car with a deep breath. Spencer pulled you into a calming hug as soon as he closed the door, wrapping his arms around you.

“The girls are so proud of you for getting help.” Spencer said, squeezing you a little bit.

You smiled into his chest knowing he was just  saying that to make you feel better since the girls wouldn’t completely understand the full weight of what it meant to you. Honestly, all you wanted in that moment was a nap.

Spencer let you go, kissed your forehead, and grabbed your hand as the two of you walked up to the front door. As the two of you put the keys in, you heard sounds of screaming, which alerted the two of you.

Penelope was watching the girls so the fact that they were screaming wasn’t a good sign. Spencer quickly unlocked the front door, pushing it open and racing to the living room to find Penelope and the girls screaming in laughter over Halloweentown 2. A big sigh was released between the two of you before the girls noticed that you were home.

Penelope was the first to get up, carefully stepping over the action figures and dolls strewn throughout the floor, arms wide open to hug the two of you. The girls quickly followed behind, Spencer picking them up, and they stretched their little arms as big as possible to reach between their parents and Penelope.

“Did you girls have fun?” You asked as Spencer put the girls down on the floor.

“We did!” Chloe cheered, jumping up and down. She was always more excited than her sister.

"They did!" Penelope said, smiling as she walked over to get her bag.

You offered to pay her with the extra cash you took out of the ATM for her but she refused with every part of her being.

"I did it because I love my little god-daughters." She said, waving at everyone as she closed the door behind her.

You were absolutely exhausted, tired of everything, and a little depressed. You went to your room to lay down while you heard Spencer talking to the girls.

"Okay, loves of my life. It's time to clean up." There was rustling but you didn't really hear anyone move.

In a not so hushed tone, Chloe and Alexandria both asked, "What about mommy? Is she okay?"

There was quiet as you waited for Spencer to figure out how to explain everything to the girls.

"Mommy's going through a hard time right now." Spencer started.

There was more rustling.

"Why?" Alexandria asked. She was always the one to ask questions.

"There's no reason. She didn't do anything wrong. But her brain isn't very happy with life right now so we're going to be very quiet and put everything away and I'll get you girls a snack while you finish the movie." Spencer said.

After you heard giggles that brought a smile to your face, you thought about how badly you wanted to be in the room with the girls and Spencer. But then the feelings of isolation came back. The fear of ruining everything by just being in there with them, their watchful stare as they worried about you. Spencer not seeing you as the person he married...

Before you knew it, you were back in the corner of the room, trying to catch your breath. You curled up as much as possible, facing the wall in front of you as the tears streamed down your face. Thoughts came rushing back to you: Spencer taking the girls and leaving; the girls growing up hating you for not being able to care for them; Spencer leaving you alone with the girls; Spencer...

"Hey, babe? I brought apple slices and..." Spencer looked up from his plate of apple slices he arranged into a smiley face and saw that you weren't in the bed anymore.

Looking around the room, he heard sniffles, the signs of quiet crying, and mumbling. Putting the apple slices on the bed, he found you on the other side of the room, rocking, back facing him.

"Y/n... Are you okay?" Spencer asked.

He knew you weren't okay, not in the slightest, but he wanted to let you know he was in the room and he cared. Meanwhile, your mumbling continued, the labored breathing as you tried and failed to regulate it.

Spencer heard the girls giggling in the living room and was glad that they had their movie and their snacks as he closed the door. They were already worried about you. They shouldn't have to worry more right now.

"I can't..." You kept repeating, over and over again.

You were so far out of it that Spencer didn't think you registered him sitting about a foot away from you as you cried heavily.

"Princess, what can't you do?" Spencer sat with his legs criss-crossed, facing you.

He wanted to badly just to hold you but he didn't want to send you into shock or make anything worse. He still had the pill samples in his pocket and he needed to convince you to take one but he was racking his brain as to how...

"I can't... I can't..." You kept repeating, you head growing light headed. The room was hot and spinning...

"Y/n, please talk to me? It's Spencer. It's just the two of us." Spencer watched as you looked over at him, a hint of recognition in your face.

"Spencer... I can't do this." You said, tears streaming freely now.

"Do what, my love?" Spencer did a small scoot towards you now that you acknowledged him but he didn't touch you. He just got a little bit closer.

"I can't... Anything. I'm not like you. I'm not strong. I'm alone. I'm scared. I can't do any of it." You said, not even bothering to wipe your cheeks of the drying tears because more would just fall.

"You can do this. You aren't alone, I'm here. I got time off from Hotch and we can go on a trip. We can do something different while we get you settled, balanced." Spencer smiled a little, just to give you some ounce of hope, but you weren't going for it.

"Spencer, I can't function... Not like I used to. Not like before..." You burst into a fresh set of tears.

You didn't want it to seem like you were blaming the girls. It wasn't their fault. But you knew things were different than when it was just you and Spencer together. Alone together.

"The girls were a big life change..." Spencer said, already knowing.

He always knew...

"I'm sorry. It's not their fault and it's not yours. It's..." You were about to blame yourself, halfheartedly.

"It's not yours either." Spencer always knew.

You were shaking and all you wanted was to breathe again. Stop crying. Go out and hang out with the joys of your life, all three of them.

"Princess, come here?" Spencer opened his arms and you climbed into his lap.

Whenever you were ready to be touched, Spencer was there with open arms. He knew that you would have said no if you weren't ready. He held onto you softly, not too much pressure. He made sure you could see everything in front of you so you didn't feel closed in. He even had a small bottle of water from the bedside table on the floor with him.

"Spence, I'm a failure..." You said, almost at a whisper.

"You're not a failure. You just need help." Spencer pulled out the little capsule and opened the bottle of water for you.

You stared at it blankly before grabbing it in your hand. Spencer nudged the water bottle a little closer to you and you sighed, taking it in your hand before swallowing it.

"It's supposed to make me sleepy..." You said, sighing again.

"Let's climb into bed and I can hold you until you wake up. Or until the girls start burning the house down. I think that would be grounds for letting go of you to put the fire out." Spencer smiled, kissing the top of your forehead.

You weren't able to walk to the bed on your own so he held you as much as he could as you both climbed in and got comfortable. Spencer noticed you were still shaking even though you were calming down slowly. He knew part of it was because you were cold again and the other part was because you were so emotionally drained from the process.

Spencer put on his 'y/n's bad day' playlist that he made for you on that app you convinced him to get. You know, the music one. The two of you make collaborative playlists to keep each other going through the days when he was away from home. Since the last time you listened to it, Spencer added a couple new songs that you hadn't heard before but you decided you liked. Slowly, your blinking grew longer and your body grew heavier.

"What about a road trip?" Spencer said, thinking.

"Hmm?" You hummed, deciding to just let your eyes close and listen to his heartbeat.

"A road trip. We can go somewhere... Away from here for a little while. Let my girls see something different." Spencer kissed the top of your head as he felt you growing more relaxed. Your grip around his waist was getting looser.

"I think the girls would like that..." Your voice was very soft at this point and Spencer was a little less tense knowing that the medication was helping.

"What about you? You're my girl too." Spencer smiled and nuzzled the top of your head.

"I'm happy whenever I'm with you, wherever we are." You drifted off to sleep with a little snore that Spencer found so cute.

"I love you so much..." Spencer said, yawning.

As if on cue, there was a tiny knock at the door, followed by two heads peaking out from around the now-open door.

"Daddy? Can we lay down with you and mommy?" Alexandria asked as she and Chloe tiptoed towards the end of the bed.

Spencer lifted his head to make sure you were still sleeping before quietly nodding.

The girls climbed into bed on Spencer's side, getting cozy in his free arm. Soon, all of his girls were sound asleep and all he could do was think about how lucky he was to have you. Through all of the darkness he lived in for so long, now he had you and the girls.

[therealvalkyrie]

Painter’s Hands and Guatemalan Coffee: Part 2

insomniac

Pairing/setting: Levi Ackerman x Female!Reader, modern!college!AU

Summary: When you catch your idiot boyfriend cheating, your grumpy roommate is there to pick up the pieces and watch your back as you toe a carefully drawn line in the metaphorical sand.  

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: insomnia, nightmares, (remembering) death, panic attack, cuddling, fluff

AN: Here she is!! I’ve decided to give oc a little ~tragic backstory~ and I really hope it comes across like I’ve intended. I wouldn’t go so far as to call in angst, necessarily, but there’ll definitely be some in the future. Also, I know I’ve painted Annie and Reiner in a really bad light so far in this particular fic, but please know that’s not how I view them in canon at all - it’s simply because someone had to be the bad guy:( Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy and as always don’t hesitate to reach out via reblog/ask with any suggestions/feedback/questions!! ~valkyrie

(read Part 1.5 here)

Bodies jostle against you in the darkness to the beat of music you can’t hear.  The buzzing gets louder, drowning out even your own screams for them to stop.

Stop. Stop. STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP!

“STOP IT!” You can hear yourself this time, your voice embarrassingly loud in the cramped room. You slap hands over your mouth but everyone’s already turned to look at you, disgusted at the display of emotion. Even they peel their faces apart to sneer down their noses.

“Why should we?” Annie’s voice rings with superiority, swirling around the space and nestling in the crook of your neck. You shudder away, but the faceless bodies shove you back.

“Don’t you know this is your fault, anyway? You weren’t enough for me.” Reiner jeers with a satisfied smirk. The whole room laughs, cackling and giggling spitefully. You can’t move, muscles frozen, as they turn back to each other and continue making out. His hand in her hair, her thigh hooked over his hip, obscenely wet noises from their joined mouths.

You scream and scream and scream, jaw wide and aching, and all of a sudden the scene shifts and you’re at your mother’s bedside. Your breath hitches and you’re screaming in a child’s voice this time.

“Mommy, Mommy, no, please, no, MOMMY, PLEASE--”

Your hand twitches towards her and its movement against soft sheets brings you back to consciousness.

You’re spread-eagled in bed, comforter kicked almost completely off, chest heaving.

“One. Two. Three. Four…” you count in a hoarse whisper to yourself, staring out the window at gently falling snow illuminated in yellow streetlights. It takes you to one hundred and twenty-seven before you’re calm enough to do anything productive. 

You reach out a blind hand to find your phone on the nightstand and raise it up to check the time. 4:47 am. Nearly three hours of sleep.

Eh, good enough for jazz.

You heave a sigh, then push up to sit on the edge of your bed and flick on the lamp. The sudden bright light makes you squint against sharp pain behind your eyes and turn away in search of a sweatshirt. Some sifting through the ever-growing pile of laundry later, you settle on a green university hoodie and pull it on over your ratty tank top. Your toes and fingers always feel like icicles after waking up from a nightmare, so you find faux fur-lined slippers as well.

As you push past your bedroom door and into the living room, a figure in the comfy armchair catches the corner of your eye.

You nearly jump out of your skin before recognizing who it is. “Christ on a cracker, Levi! Nearly scared me half to death.”

“Sorry.” He doesn’t sound sorry as he marks the page in his book and sets it on the coffee table.

“What are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same.”

“Well that’s not ominous or anything,” you mutter with an eye roll as you cross to the kitchen and set the kettle to boil for coffee.

Levi sighs and pinches the bridge of his elegant nose.

“Sorry. That’s not what I meant. It’s just… I noticed you haven’t been sleeping much lately and I’m worried.” He crosses to sit at the kitchen table and speaks to your back as you shuffle around the kitchen.

“What do you mean? Of course I’ve been sleeping. Whaddaya think I was just doing?”

“It’s five am, and you were still up when I went to sleep at twelve. Optimistically, that’s four hours of sleep. And yesterday you went to bed after one, but Hange said you were texting her at five-thirty, and--”

“Jeez, what, have you been stalking me or something?” you ask with an incredulous glance over your shoulder.

“We live together. It’s kind of hard not to notice.” Levi’s tone is the usual dry you’ve come to expect, but there’s an undercurrent that you’re too exhausted to pinpoint. “And Hange also told me she’s been worried.”

“What is this, an intervention? Just because I break up with someone I’m suddenly incapable of functioning?” Your voice (and headache) rises with each phrase, cracking on the morning dryness in the air, and you spin to face him.

“I didn’t say that, I--”

“Am I just supposed to wallow in misery for the rest of my life? No. I’m not doing that, Levi, I’m moving on. I-- I’m a busy woman, I’ve got finals and, and internship applications, and I happen to enjoy waking up early. I like watching the sunrise.” Though your words are rushed and you’re gesturing animatedly, uncertainty seeps through the stuttered phrases in your argument.

Levi lets you finish, then returns in a measured voice: “Why are you so defensive about this? I know you’re busy. So am I. But I manage to get more than four hours of sleep at night. I just want to help.”

His statement hangs in the air like dust mites, swirling around you and clinging to the sticky after-effects of the nightmare in your mind. You frown and drop your eyes to the linoleum, guilt settling into the stickiness.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Your voice is much softer. “I just--” A deep sigh. “I can’t sleep.”

“Why?”

The simple question makes your breath stutter and you scrub a hand down your face in an effort to ground your skin into reality.

“It’s so stupid.” It’s practically a whisper. “I have these nightmares. About my mom. I got them when I was younger, too, but eventually they just sort of… stopped. But now they’re back. And I can’t ever get back to sleep after, so I just stopped bothering to try.”

“You know, sometimes I get nightmares, too.”

The admission catches you off guard, your eyes widening. Levi always seems so… steady and sure, you wouldn’t have expected it.

“Really?”

He nods. “About my mom and the foster homes.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you…” Your heart sinks, and you don’t know how to say you’re sorry for the heartbreak he must’ve lived through with any semblance of tact.

“Yeah. It’s not something I talk about much.”

“Right.” You pause and chew on your tongue thoughtfully for a moment. “Do you have...strategies for when you can’t sleep because of them?”

“I have sleeping pills from my psychiatrist and some meditation practices that work for me. I can send you some resources, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I’d really appreciate that if it’s not a bother.” You feel kind of sheepish now, for raising your voice, and so try to sound extra thankful for his help.

“It’s not.” He stands up and stretches both arms over his head, tipping his face up to the sky, lean body arching and twisting with the effort of it.  “I’ll send them to you later today. I’m gonna go back to bed.”

“Okay. Thank you, Levi.”

He nods and yawns, nose scrunching adorably. “Night, kid.”

“Good night.”

As his bedroom door clicks shut, you sigh yet again and turn off the stove. The first thing to avoid is probably coffee.

--

Your fingers flick off last rivulets of water as you step out of the shower. A shiver rattles its way up your spine before you can grab a towel to dry off. Bless Levi, he had done laundry today and the towel is still dryer-warm, smelling of his favorite fabric softener.

As you go through your evening routine (tooth brushing, face washing, hair drying), you can feel a quiet tension set into your shoulders despite the humidity of the bathroom.

The day had gone okay. You managed to resist coffee until 8 am and cut yourself off at 3. A lecture and a studio in the morning left the afternoon for library studying and a trip to the grocery store. 

You had actually seen Bertholdt there, in the cereal aisle. You hadn’t been too keen on having that particular conversation, but luckily he hadn’t seemed to be either. The pair of you exchanged sympathetically awkward smiles before turning back to the Cheerios. 

The evening consisted of ordering chinese takeout while obsessing over your latest architecture design project, followed by convincing Hange over the phone not to sleep in the mouse lab for extra credit.

“But Bean will be lonely!” she insisted hysterically. “And Sonny wasn’t looking too hot in lab today, what if he needs his mommy and I’m not there?”

“You’re not their mommy,” you reminded her. “They have each other to keep them company, and if Sonny dies, won’t it support your hypothesis anyway?”

She had eventually acquiesced when you promised to help her plan a memorial should they pass in the night.

So now here you are, skin slowly drying, as you psych yourself up in the mirror to go to sleep.

“It won’t be bad. Just use the meditations Levi sent you.” You try to inject confidence into your voice, but you only end up grimacing at yourself in the mirror. “Ah, fuck it.”

You tuck your towel in firmly around your chest and double check to see your things are put away before going back to your room.

As you pass, you hesitate by Levi’s door for a moment. His normal studying music, Chopin, is on and light creeps out from underneath. Another moment of uncertainty, then you gently knock and poke your head in.

“Levi?” He raises his head from where he’s hunched over an easel, paint brush in hand. Brow furrowed and body tensed like a strung bow, he doesn’t look happy to be interrupted.

Fuck.

“I, uhm, just wanted to say good night.”

He grunts and turns back to the painting.

You take that as your cue to leave.

Back in the sanctuary of your own room, you curse again and kick your desk chair, sending it rolling a couple inches.

Why had you bothered him? To say good night?

“Stupid, stupid, UGH.” Your dramatic outburst ends in flopping face-first into bed. Just because he felt concerned enough to stage a fucking intervention doesn’t mean he’s your fucking nanny. Idiot.

Eventually, you roll over and get up to change into pajamas. 

Settling into bed, you open your newly downloaded meditation app and start an audio.

“As you prepare for your meditation practice today, find a comfortable position sitting or lying down where you can fully relax….”

The cool female voice wraps your mind in a hazy blanket of fog and eventually coaxes your body into an achingly needed sleep.

--

This time the dream wakes you up whimpering into your pillow, arms flung above your head as though you’re skydiving. With a sucking breath, you lift your head to prevent imminent suffocation and instead settle on your side, staring unblinkingly into the darkness. Breath ragged in your chest, your mind can’t seem to move past the last image of your nightmare.

It’s burned into your retinas when you close your eyes and etched onto the moonlight-pale wall when they’re open: your mom’s pallid face staring up at the ceiling, hands resting on top of  her blue embroidered duvet cover, chest still.

A sob escapes your unwilling throat and you’re scrambling to sit up and reach for the lamp. The lamplight suddenly reminds you of your own existence in the physical plane, thrusting all your senses into sharp contrast.

Her greying, thinning hair, the frailty in her fingers, the cracks in her lips, the cloying scent of death.

“Nonononononononono,” you moan, hunched over your knees, fingers tangled in your hair. Your stomach is hollow, chest tight, tears now flowing in earnest. It hasn’t been this bad in a long time, not since 7th grade at least.

Do something, do something, you stupid bitch, your mind is yelling at you, and so you force your body to move. Somewhere, anywhere other than here.

You practically fall out of bed and then lean heavily on your desk to compensate for shaking knees as you move to the door. Feet shuffle in the darkness and all of a sudden you’re sniffling outside Levi’s door, fingers in a deathgrip on your shirt. One, two breaths and you knock three hesitant raps.

Fuck. Shit. Instant regret bubbles up in your throat and you pivot away. Before you can get far, the door opens and you hear Levi’s sleep-ragged voice utter your name like a question. Damn.

You turn back sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve woken you up. Go back to bed.” Your voice is unnaturally breathy as Levi tries to make you out in the dim light of the moon filtering in through the living room window. 

He reaches for your shoulder to gently pull you out of the shadows, and realization crosses his face as he registers the tear tracks and haunting terror in your eyes.

“It happened again,” he states.

You nod hesitantly and wipe at your cheeks with the back of one hand. You try again to tell him that no, really, you’re fine and he should go back to bed, but the words get lost in the tangle of truths between your brain and mouth.

Instead, what comes out is: “Can… can I sleep with you?” Your eyes finally flick to his before you quickly follow up. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, I just- it helps to have someone close….”

Levi watches you for a moment before sliding his hand from your shoulder to your hand and tugging gently.

“Come on.”

You follow him inside and fidget awkwardly at the side of his bed as he climbs in. His room is impeccably neat, not that you would expect anything different from the man who once gave you a five minute lecture about leaving dishes in the sink to soak. It was the most words you’d heard him string together at the time, and he only stopped when he realized you were laughing.

“You sound like my Great Aunt Cheryl,” you said between hiccups of mirth. “Insufferable woman.”

He had looked at you scathingly, then made you promise never to leave the dishes for later again on pain of changing the wifi password.

Once he’s settled, Levi turns back the covers on your side and looks at you expectantly. You falter a split second before climbing in next to him, the familiar smell of his laundry detergent clouding around you as you fall back into soft pillows. He throws the comforter over you, then settles down and opens his arms.

“C’mere, kid,” he says with a tenderness that makes a sniffle catch in the back of your throat.

You roll into his arms, resting your head in the curve of his shoulder and breathe the first easy breath since you woke up. An arm flung around his middle means your whole body is against his, warming you up like a midafternoon nap in August.

Levi settles his arm around your back after tucking in the blankets and holds you like you’ve always belonged there. He gradually, gradually feels you relax into him as your breathing begins to match his own.

After a while, your eyes droop closed and Levi allows himself the indulgence of tucking his nose into your hair. A bouquet of lavender shampoo and you accompanies him softly into his dreams.

--

(read part 3 here)

[missskzbiased]

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You

Genre: Romance , Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader  X Han X OC

WC: ~ 4,1K

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Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness (?) 

*Not all chapters have these but I’m letting this like general because as a series I think it’s better if I warn all of them at once instead of warning out of nowhere since I’ve already written some chapters*

Notes: The “Angst/Hurt/Confort” is related to the plot and how the characters will build their relationship, therefore it’ll be mentioned more than once through the chapters. Although I don’t think I made it really distressing nor anything like that, please be aware of the Warnings if you don’t feel comfortable with the themes <3

This is an EXTREMELY slow burn, if you don’t like those, I don’t think you’ll enjoy the fanfic  :’(

Updates: I’ll update it once a week because I still have to write the chapters to come and review the ones I already wrote

                                                    ////

   Hate: a) To feel extreme enmity towards something or someone: Regard with active hostility; b) To have a strong aversion: Find very distasteful.

   Regarding all emotions someone could ever feel, you didn’t think something could be more powerful than hatred.

    What in the world could be more powerful than disliking someone to the point you couldn’t even stand their presence? It meant you would prefer to leave rather than stay. Nothing could ever beat that. Nothing. People could do insane things moved by it. Things no one should ever think about doing nor do at all for that matter. Things that could hurt and destroy everything around someone’s life.

   Even though common sense stated love was blind, you thought that maybe hate was blinder… Maybe hate was the one who blinded love. Who knew? You were sure hatred moved people to do the undoable. So what could be a better answer to your professor’s question? What was the most powerful feeling in the world?

   “Fear” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him. You didn’t know if it was the black hair, the dark eyes, or that pretty face everyone felt the urge to ogle but somehow Hyunjin had that funny effect on people around him. It was like people needed to hear him, like he held some kind of mesmerizing voice that made people believe he was a wise man on a young body.

   He wasn’t.

   “How is fear greater than hate?” You scoffed, wondering why people looked at him like he knew what he was talking about “I never saw someone actively doing something because of fear but people actually make decisions based on hatred” You pointed out, smirking at him. Hyunjin couldn’t possibly retort you because you were right, and sooner or later he would have to admit it.

   “I believe you didn’t quite understand the professor’s question, my dear” He had this ridiculous accent like he was British when he clearly wasn’t, and you couldn’t help but grimace at him before he continued “He asked what is the most powerful emotion not what emotion prompt people to do something… I must say that if an emotion paralyzes you to the point you can’t make a decision ─ as you pointed out yourself─ it must be quite powerful, don’t you agree?” He had that smug look on his face, suggesting he thought he had won your argument, and you would gladly wipe that smug grin out of there if Paris didn’t interrupt you.

   “Excuse me but I think it’s love” Her voice sounded polite even though you knew she thought Hyunjin was being dumb “If fear is something that paralyzes someone and that is your argument for power, I think love can beat fear, so it’s obviously more powerful” She stated, not bothering to defend her arguments.

  Typical Paris.

   “In what world love beats fear?” He jeered, looking at her as if she was growing a third head “I’m sorry to disappoint you, darling, but life isn’t a fairy-tale” He pouted mockingly.

  What a despicable guy.

  “It’s well known that love can make someone so eager to protect another thing that you could simply ignore your fears and get stronger. Mothers can lift a car to free their child, soldiers can fight harder if they have someone to go back to! And if you consider the paralyzing feeling, knowing love can beat this would mean it’s stronger than fear… When you love you can do or give up on doing things just to be able to protect something you love” She stated proudly before you looked at your professor expecting his verdict.

   Like on cue, the bell rang, announcing your class was over.

   And so did he, waving dismissively to all of you to go.

   Great, so it was a kind of philosophical game for him.

   Your pointless argument ended up with nothing but a bunch of opinions you couldn’t say was right; and when it came to insisting on being right there was just one person in this world you could say you almost hated… Hyunjin. He came to you with his signature─ a smug grin that made you want to punch his face every day─, getting in your way to pack your things as he picked up one of your pencils, spinning it between his fingers. You didn’t even make the effort to ask it back, settling for extending your palm up, so he would give it back to you.

   “Paris may have a point but I beat you” Should you punch his face for real someday? Probably not. You should keep good grades and a perfect image so you could keep your scholarship. What a pity. You shook your hand once, a silent ask for your pencil again, and this time he put it on your palm, leaning closer as he braced himself on the desk, trying to be seductive or something “What? Are you so upset you lost to me you don’t even want to talk anymore?” He said in a mocking tone that made you glare at him.

   “Even when I’m right I don’t want to talk to you” You reminded him, throwing your bag’s strap on your shoulder “Let’s go, Paris, Chan said He was going to have lunch with us today” You took her hand and guided her to the door, walking fast so you could leave Hyunjin behind but he, unfortunately, was right on your tail.

   “It’s funny because I recall you bragging every time you’re right and I’m not hearing it now” He said, easily picking up your pass, since his legs were way longer than yours “I guess you don’t want to talk to me because you lost again” Oh god, how could he be so insufferable?! You trailed your eyes around the stairs, looking for Chan on the crowd.

   Thankfully, there he was.

   Chan was a fine guy, as anyone with two functioning eyes could see or at least guess since a lot of girls were staring at him. He was waiting in the corner, his arms crossed on his chest and his bored eyes looking at the floor while he waited for you, his dark hair falling on his eyes, obliging him to run his fingers into his locks, looking charming in the eyes of the girls ogling him. You chuckled as you saw him eyeing them disgusted, clearly bothered by people looking at him doing nothing like he was some kind of idol or something.

   “Hey, Sweety!” You shouted, making him roll his eyes at the nickname that symbolized your friendship. It was the first name you ever called him, a sarcastic remark for the typical rich guy he was, a pretty and spoiled bastard.

   The circumstances you met weren’t the best ones but somehow they worked in your favor.    

   You were working hard on pilling some boxes ─ all of them with a “fragile” sticker that made you very aware about the possibility of losing your job if you dropped one of them─, so it was only natural you were pissed as hell when someone dropped all of them at once. As if he didn’t have anything better to do, Chan stood with his right hand raised to blame, a smirk plastered on his face as he said “Ops! Sorry, Sweety” making his dumb friends laugh at you.

    You couldn’t say you were a typical rich girl especially because you were, in fact, quite poor, so your antics were totally justified by the need you had to keep your job on your hands and change your paradigm.

   It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone with a brain but he had to pay for the losses.

      So you shot him a tight smile when you saw him walking to the exit and said “Don’t forget to pay for those, Sweety”, making him shot a brow at you. You remembered clearly the way he got close to you, declaring with that cocky attitude you hated “Do you know who I am?” as if it would make any difference. You shoved him on the wall, losing your composure, and hissing at him that you didn’t care, and he should pay for it unless he was some kind of hallucination of your head.

   He came back every day after that.

   It has been four years since you two became friends against all the odds; and as a rich kid himself, Chan often paid for your meals, claiming your sorry ass should be thanking him instead of scoffing. You couldn’t help but nudge him with your elbow as soon as you got next to him, making him nudge you back as Paris clasped her hands together, her eyes beaming at your interaction.

   “It’s so beautiful how you guys love each other!” Paris couldn’t see you interacting with another human being without believing you were in love, and although it kinda annoyed you, you tried to overlook it since she didn’t have much more to hold a grudge against. She had been your roommate for the past three years at the dorms, and even though she was a hopeless romantic and annoyed the hell out of you to get together with someone, that was pretty much her only great flaw.

   You remembered perfectly how you thought your life was over once you met her.

   Your first impression of the dorm was awful as you got there and saw the overly pink and cute stuff hanging all around the place as she tried to organize everything in her room. She didn’t have much stuff but all her stuff was vibrant and girly to the point it hurt your eyes.

   You didn’t complain.                                                    

    You put your bag on the floor, looking at her with a grimace as she beamed to meet her new friend. You could say you hated to live with her in the beginning, her carefree self was annoying and her overly friendly antics pissed you off as she always asked you to do things together, watch movies, and eat, and talk and... Well, anything you didn’t want to do with someone you just met. On top of all, she was somewhat lazy and didn’t do much, which ended up with you doing all the chores.

   If you were to be fair, you were the one wearing out yourself, really.

   Everything changed on a particularly exhausting day.

   You had to be a damn good juggler on that week, working yourself until you couldn’t even think about anything clearly. You were like a zombie. A workaholic zombie. You had to go to classes, get your work done, do your assignments, clean up the dorm, study your ass off for the exams, pretend to be a normal human being by socializing with people… Well, basically you were pretty busy on being perfect as you expected you to be. It was obvious that after all your exams were finally done and you got out of work you needed to relax as soon as you got home.

    You fixed yourself something to eat, turned on the TV, crashed on the couch to watch something, and just blacked out right there.

   When you woke up on the next day’s afternoon, you got a cozy feeling above you, some fluffy blanket was thrown around your body, making you warm and peaceful. You shot your body up, sitting on the couch and looking around, alarmed, just to see the TV turned off, the dishes cleaned, the dorm tidy, and your bubbly roommate folding the clothes. You got up from the couch quickly and made a bow, apologizing profusely for being a mess and letting everything out of place on the night before. She scoffed, shrugging it off by waving her hand and said something around “I know you like to do the chores but you wore out yourself this week, you should take a break! You’re not being a burden! Isn’t helping each other out what friends do?” and it made you gasp before smiling.

    You didn’t think of her as a friend back then but it did change that day.

    “It would be even more beautiful if you didn’t try to make us swallow up your need to a nonexistent love between us every time I take you guys out” Chan pointed out, grimacing at her. You couldn’t say Chan and Paris got along even though you tried to make them friendly towards each other but you couldn’t blame Chan for being an ass since you weren’t any better to his friend.

   “So you’re taking us out to lunch? Wonderful!” Hyunjin beamed in sarcasm, knowing too well you would complain. You rolled your eyes and looked at Chan as you guys started to walk, getting on your way to his car so he could take you wherever he was planning to go.

  “It’s called a friendly gathering for a reason, Hyunjin… It means only friends can come” You feigned sympathy, pressing your lips together and looking at him with apologetic eyes. He scoffed at you and nudged Chan on the shoulder, resting his hand there as you walked.

   “I’m his friend too! He’s paying so I can go as a friend unless you want to pay for everyone, then I will have to retreat” He argued, an almost unnoticeable smirk on his lips. You pouted, turning to Chan to complain but he seemed to not pay attention to your childish argument, ignoring you as he looked straight ahead, unbothered.

   “He’s right” He stated before you could whine, showing that he was indeed hearing your conversation. Chan had this habit of pretending not to pay attention to you just to state something that showed he was tuned with everything even though he looked bored, and it always seemed to amaze you. He was a sneak little prick. You whined at him, complaining randomly so he would give up on his idea but he wasn’t buying it, pretty much ignoring you.

  “You’re rich! You don’t even need him to pay for you” You decided to complain to Hyunjin, who just shot you an amused look, scoffing.

   “You work! You don’t need it either” He pointed out, making you sigh. You looked at Paris for support but she was watching the world absent-mindedly, humming something she probably had come up with on the walk, testing over and over again some tune she seemed to like and picking up her phone quickly, recording it and sending it to you so she could save it. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket and sighed.

  What great friends you had.

  “Oh! Are you going to come to Han’s game?” She asked suddenly, looking at you excited “He even said if he couldn’t score a point for us this time he would treat us afterward!” You laughed at her enthusiasm, shaking your head in disbelief.

  “Was he laughing when you took the deal?” You asked and she seemed to think hard about it, her fingers gripping her chin as she frowned, trying to recall her conversation with your mutual friend. As soon as she remembered it, she smiled and nodded, making you snort “That’s because he’s a Líbero, Paris, they can’t score any points… He was hitting on you” You explained, her eyes shining in realization.

   “He pranked me!” She uttered, laughing.

   “If you actually paid attention to his explanations you would have guessed it” You pointed out, making Chan snort “Are you coming?” You asked him but Chan shot you a pointed look.

   “Do I look like the kind of guy who would go to a volleyball match?” He asked mockingly, making you shrug.

  “You don’t look like the kind of guy who spends your time with dumbasses but here we are going to eat with one” You retorted, glancing over your shoulders so Hyunjin knew you were talking about him. You finally made it to the car. Chan clicked his key’s button, unlocking his car from afar before you got there, opening the door, and getting inside with a cool motion that made you laugh. He was so playboyish!

   “I wasn’t even doing anything right now” Hyunjin complained as he got himself on the front seat in the same way Chan did, trying to look cool. You snorted at him, getting in the car and sliding to the side so Paris could get in beside you “Is it just to get my attention?” He teased, looking over his shoulder, getting startled at your face so close to his, your arms were resting on Chan’s sit, your chin resting on your arm as you looked ahead, watching as your friend backed up.

   You didn’t hate Hyunjin or something like this, you both just teased each other every time you could. You weren’t really fond of his antics since he was just a playboy that didn’t care about anything apart from him ─ and you weren’t really the kind to feel comfortable around dickheads─, so your friendship just wasn’t meant to happen. You could tolerate him well enough when he wasn’t pissing you off at classes though. You could say you both were academic rivals, extremely smart students that liked to overcome the other by doing witty remarks and good work…

    It wasn’t about being the best student, you didn’t believe in such a thing, it was about being better than him, and he wanted to be better than you.

    You could remember clearly the first time you met.

    He was a cocky guy back then too.

    He sat right next to you even though there were tons of available seats, his smirk suggesting he wasn’t really the friendly type, so he could only be there flirting. You rolled your eyes. He tried to chat with you, talking about him and how he was taking that psychology elective because the other ones seemed too easy for him. You nodded, not really listening to his monologue, and opened your notebook as soon as the Professor came in, presenting himself and giving you a deep question that made you contemplate in silence before you answered it proudly. He scoffed. He scoffed right on your face as he retorted you, and you retorted him back, and then he retorted you again… Your endless arguing conquered a proud clap from your Professor.

    You, on the other hand, conquered a rival.

   Later that week Chan invited you to see his new place, an apartment he rented with a friend even though both of them could easily live by themselves… You could never understand them. You arrived ranting about your classes, bringing the “smartass” issue as soon as you remember, and complaining about that guy that would seat beside you twice a week.

    You regret till this very day the way you said he was a hot and annoying guy because at this very moment he showed up on his sweatpants, using a towel to dry his hair as some drops fell onto his shirtless chest. He smirked at you, teasing you by saying “Hot, hm? So you were just playing hard to get. I like it” as he leaned on the wall, hanging the towel on his shoulder and making fun of you about it till this very day.

   “Hello? Earth to Y/N?” Paris was waving her hand right in front of your eyes, trying to get your attention. You shot your eyes to her, startled, smiling apologetically “We’re here” She announced, making you realize Chan was parking, a huge and presumably expensive restaurant standing there in all its glory.

   You would need to work at least to your death to be able to pay for breathing the air inside it.

  “Holy shit, are you rich?” You asked in disbelief, shock getting the better of you as you completely forgot who you were talking about. Chan grimaced at you like you were his dumb but lovingly friend, and you shot him a glare as soon as you composed yourself.

   Let Chan spend his money mindlessly and he would bankrupt his family.

                                                              ////

   You weren’t exactly the sport type but being on the grandstand together with a bunch of people you never talked to, all of you gathering by the same will to defeat the enemy… It just made its way to your mind somehow. You cheered loudly, booing at the opponents' team and their fans while clapping hard at your own team, shouting your lungs out every time Han made a good play, which was pretty often if you were fair.

   If anyone asked you when you made it to college if you would be going to games and cheering for your team, you would laugh on their faces… In fact, that was exactly what you did the first time Han asked you if you were going to his game, amused by his innocence. You two met because Paris was majoring in Music and He decided to take some music classes, which got him an invitation to a party Paris decided to throw on a Friday night.

   It was kind of cute how he was so flustered there, taking your offer for a glass of whatever Paris had mixed to serve as a drink with trembling hands. He was one of the first guys you had the pleasure to analyze as an aspiring psychologist, the clear signals of an awkward guy around the girl he had a crush all over his face: Pink cheeks, stuttering, exaggerated gesticulation, high pitched voice, inability to stay still as he swift his weight side to side, nervous eyes looking around the room…

    The poor boy was on edge, his eyes resting on Paris from time to time as if he wanted to say something but didn’t know the right words.

    Although he was a player in the court, he was far from that on real life and you found it cute.

   You remembered how he winced startled as you patted his shoulder, he looked like a little squirrel stocking his cheeks with alcohol just so he could gulp it down and choke, confused at your knowing look. He ended up being Paris’ partner for most of their projects, obviously trying to get some alone time with her, even though she always called you to listen to their compositions, blowing his plans. All that hanging out and his friendly behavior began a loose friendship, where you went to watch his games with Paris and you two went to watch Paris’s performances, your little alliance being settled so you wouldn’t feel excluded.

   That was how thoughtful he was.

   Paris screamed, hyped by your team score, and you followed her, standing up and cupping your mouth to scream his name, his eyes searching for both of you in the crowd, a bright smile when his eyes connected to yours. You waved at his way, getting a wave as an answer before he had to focus again on his match.

   As soon as the game ended, you both waited as the sea of people made their way out of the grandstand, mostly hyped for some afterward party that certainly would be happening somewhere. You and Paris made your way to the court, waiting for Han to come back from the locker room while chatting about the game. It took him some time to take his bath and get ready, and he came out of the locker room along with some friends that patted his back and complimented his plays, waving him goodbye as soon as they saw us waiting, knowing you wouldn’t go to the party.

   “Y/N told me you can’t score a point as a Libero” Was the first thing Paris said, chuckling, making Han cackle up.

   “You should know it by now! You came to literally every game I played for… Two years? It’s insane! What did you think? That I was a terrible player?” Paris grinned sheepishly and this time you cackled up.

   “It seems like your partner doesn’t believe in your abilities” You pointed out, making him snort “Anyway, I heard you would be paying if you didn’t score anything, so it’s on you today, loser” Han grinned, throwing his arms around your shoulders, pulling both of you closer as he guided you.

   “I can offer you the best hot dog in town” He agreed “Maybe even a soda if we all share it” Paris laughed, holding his wrist as she walked along with him, you took the hint to take his arm off your shoulders and let them have their moment, missing the way he pouted when you broke away the contact.

   “I can pay for our drinks” You offered, making Han gasp in mock chock.

   “Rich, aren’t we?” He joked, getting a light push on the shoulder as an answer.

   “I work for a reason, moron” You rolled your eyes “Now let’s split that bill” You smiled as the three of you made your way to your favorite hot-dog stand on campus.