#tumblr forced me to break my post into multiple parts

[kingofthescene]

Burr: Part 02.

Meanwhile, with Burr, things appear to be incredibly different. Especially because he had no family to fight for him and bring light to his achievements rather than his bad reputation. Slander and rumors that had been spread about him for God knows how long. His parents died, his sister died, his wife died, his children all died, nephew died, and his grandchildren had all died. He had outlived everyone and had no one to advocate for him, which is something he desperately needed. I feel like it would have made a significant difference. Another thing that stood out to me (how could it not?) was the whole "Burr is un-opinionated"/"Burr stands for nothing" shit they constantly repeated and pushed the entire musical. It's insane. And a lie because Burr was known to be one of the most opinionated people, he was way ahead of his time with a lot of his beliefs. And here's why! The reasons why Burr "standing for nothing" is BULLSHIT: He was an proto-feminist/fierce women's rights advocate. Burr was a huge admirer of Mary Wollstonecraft. (he even kept a portrait of her with him). He was devoted to his daughter (Theodosia Burr Alston), whom he had educated according to the principles promulgated in A Vindication of the Rights of Woman (1792) by Mary Wollstonecraft. For those unfamiliar with Mary Wollstonecraft and her work, her book on women's rights is described as "a classic of rationalist feminism that is considered the earliest and most important treatise advocating equality for women." She argued that the educational system deliberately trained women to be frivolous and incapable and that if girls were allowed the same advantages as boys, then women would not only be exceptional wives and mothers, but also capable workers in many professions. Burr wholeheartedly agreed with Wollstonecraft, and this, as well as his devotion as a father - he wanted the absolute best for his daughter - plays a huge part in why Theodosia Jr. was known to be one of the best educated women of her time. - Theodosia Jr. had learned to read and write by age three. - By her tenth birthday she had finished all six volumes of Edward Gibbons’ The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. - Theodosia had been given an equal opportunity education, she was able to study subjects that had traditionally been reserved for boys (such as Greek, Latin, Arithmetic, and so on)...she was fluent in French as well. Theodosia practiced piano, took lessons in dancing, and learned to skate. She was a prodigy and was widely acknowledged for her intelligence and sophistication. Not only that, but Aaron Burr set up a school, with Madame de Senat, for young ladies in New York City in 1793. Hell, he even used his position/ time in the Senate and attempted to submit legislation to allow women the right to vote (but it was unfortunately denied. He did the same thing and called for the immediate abolishment of slavery but it was denied as well.)

[wonustars]

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖶𝖺𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖧𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖧𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽

𖥔 pairing: kim mingyu x f.reader 𖥔 wordcount: 19.0k 𖥔 genre: fake marriage au!, fluff, angst, smut (18+ mdni)

𖥔 reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ♡! tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, and they help writers like me to get better reach. thank you!

𖥔 summary: you and mingyu (a former mafia member and also your ex-fiancè's former best friend) are forced into witness protection. All you’ve been told is that you’re meant to act like a happily married couple. Pushed into a cookie cutter house, and a suburban neighbourhood far from the city, where people bring you baked goods on your first day and partake in small talk, it’s all foreign and new. There’s so many things you don’t know about him, but for a man who’s only known violence and all things illegal, he’s somehow the perfect house husband.

𖥔 tags: nonidol!au, ex-mafia!mingyu, househusband!mingyu, afab!reader, catmom!reader, neighbour!verkwan, marshall officer!junhui and jihoon, ex-fiancè! seungcheol, fake marriage, mingyu loves to garden, mingyu has a large dragon tattoo on his back that is barely mentioned, mentions of the show Bluey and the movie Twilight, lots of domesticity and house work talk.

𖥔 note: i got this fic done earlier than expected but i have LOTS of people to thank because they are a huge part of why i was even able to get it done. firstly to my beta-readers, thank you, you were all so helpful and i really wouldn't have it done without you all @gyuswhore , @highvern , and @onlyhuis ♡. thank you to @wooahaeproductions , @hannieween , and june (again) for allowing me to put a cameo of you all in the fic! a big thank you to all the people who sent asks that helped me write some of the scenes in the story. thank you to a lot of the @svthub members who helped sm with this fic, esp @ourdawnishotterthanourday, @bitchlessdino, @seokgyuu, @onlymingyus, and @the-boy-meets-evil !! i couldn't have done it without you all and i'm so grateful ♡. i worked really hard on this fic and i've been talking about it for so long, so thank you to all of you who interacted with my posts and waited so patiently. i appreciate every single one of you and i hope you enjoy this story because i really love it too :). see you soonest - anna ♡.

𖥔 some songs i listened to while writing: lagi - bini, i wish - seventeen, sunny day - beabadoobee, chocolate - seventeen vocal unit. 𖥔 masterlist

-> smut tags/ warnings under the cut (18+ mdni!)

𖥔 smut tags: dom!gyu, sub!reader, unprotected penetrative p in v sex (don't do it!), breeding kink, multiple rounds, multiple positons, creampie, spanking, choking (barely), oral (f.receiving), spitting, pet names (reader: baby, wife) (mingyu: baby). 𖥔 warnings: mentions of weapon and drug trafficking, violence, reader is paranoid and anxious from time to time, a lot of inaccurate talk about legal stuff and witness protection, everything listed is talked about with as very little detail as possible.

The tension in the air is thick, not one word was uttered the whole car ride.

Everything still felt surreal, especially because the person you’re forced to live with for the next year is someone you aren’t particularly fond of. 

When you were told that you’d be put into witness protection due to your ex-fiance’s mafia bust, you didn’t expect that it would be spent with his right-hand man. The same man who you watched execute heinous acts under the volition of your ex. It wasn’t his fault that he had to carry out orders, but witnessing him unleash his wrath onto others was enough for you to steer clear of him. 

You aren’t one to judge, especially because you were to be wed to the mafia boss himself. You knew he was partaking in shady business, but you didn’t know that innocent people’s lives were included in his scheme to make more money. 

“I think we’re here,�� Mingyu breaks the silence for the first time since you entered the car. 

Your attention is brought to the large sign that is displayed in front of the gated community. The words “Bridgewater Heights” are plastered to the high cement wall that surrounds the area. A part of you is glad that it at least looks like a secure place to live and bougie too; the gated entrance requiring a passcode with guards sitting at the doors screamed wealth. 

Never in your life did you think you were going to be living in such an expensive-looking place. Even when you were still dating Seungcheol, who had money raining down on him constantly, you never desired this lifestyle. Maybe it was because you never understood the want to live in the suburbs, the city suited you better anyway.

 Those initial thoughts are offset as you stare out the car window. children happily playing in the streets, the sun shining down on them, their laughter seeping through the cracks of the car door as they skip around. Everything here seems so cheerful. you wonder if you could begin to find that type of joy if you stay here long enough too. 

As you approach the house you are forced to stay in, you realize that it looks like every other one in the neighbourhood. Large, modern, and painfully identical to your neighbours. A white picket fence lining the yard, with a front-facing garage that perfectly fits two cars. Large windows and a wrap-around porch tie it all together. You couldn’t help but be amazed at how grand everything looks, the difference is drastic from your cozy apartment back in the city. 

An audible gulp goes down your throat. It didn’t start feeling real till now, especially because you spent the hour-long car ride daydreaming about your old home. Reading a book on the couch while stroking your cat, Norbert’s fur. His purring in the back seat calms you down, but not enough that you can accept your fate of living with Mingyu for the next year. 

Your now “husband” parks in the driveway before popping the trunk open to unload the suitcases that carried half of your life. All your clothes, books, and trinkets are all sized down to sixty kilograms. It upset you to take only your most important things, but if it meant you’d be safe from your ex, you knew you had no choice but to agree. 

As you opened the door to your new home, your heart began to pound in your chest. 

You watched as Mingyu continued to haul everything from the car into the house; his large biceps bulging through his white tee as he carried the box that caged your now whining cat. Norbert’s meowing becomes more agitated with every passing second he spends in his carrier case, the guilty feeling pools in your stomach as his meows turn into cries. You hated keeping him in one place for long, especially for long car rides. 

Norbert has always been an active cat, running around, and exploring your old neighbourhood, and at the end of the day, he always came back. At night you two spent hours cuddling while you read your books; sometimes reading the words aloud as if your cat could understand what you were saying. 

Mingyu finishes up with the last of the boxes, taking a step back to look at the new house in all its glory. His hands on his hips as he sighs, admiring the work that had gone into building the house. You didn’t understand why he found the craftsmanship so interesting, but you decided not to think too hard about it. 

He turns to you with an apprehensive smile, his eyes glinting in the sun, “Home sweet home, I guess.” 

two. 

The first few days at the new house were uneventful and awkward, to say the least. Mingyu spent the majority of his time doing random housework, he thought that if he had to live here for a year, then he should at least try and make it as “homey" as possible. 

Many of the women in the neighbourhood had deemed Mingyu as their new eye candy, even though he wore his pink Shibu inu apron while tending to the garden at the front of the house. They would especially make sure to take multiple laps around the block during their group walks, drooling over his toned muscles as he began to plant an array of flowers on the lawn. 

Mingyu isn’t very observant when it comes to people finding him attractive, believe it or not. He automatically assumes that the wives of Bridgewater just wanted to get to know the new couple that just moved in. 

“What a beautiful garden you have!” one of the wives called out from the sidewalk, her eyes glinting with appeal. 

“Thank you, It’s not done just yet, but I think we’re finally getting somewhere,” Mingyu smiles bashfully. 

“Of course dear. You know if you’re ever free you should come and take a look at my garden,” another lady giggles, her innuendo flying right over Mingyu’s head.

The group of forty-plus-year-old women all giggle like school girls as they watch his face turn red with flattery. Mingyu scratched the back of his head awkwardly as they bid him goodbye, curious as to what the group of women thought was so funny about him taking a look at their gardens. It’s all just a bunch of flowers, isn’t it? 

The sound of your car’s engine brings Mingyu out of his thoughts, his gardening tools forgotten by the piles of dirt. You lug Nortbert’s carrier as you walk into the house, acknowledging his presence with a small nod. His pink aprons raise a few questions in your head, but you decide not to comment on it. 

“Oh hey you’re back, is he ok?” Mingyu asks, motioning to the carrier you hold in your hand. 

Halting your steps, your eyes widen as you realize that he’s talking to you. There wasn’t much conversation between the two of you since you moved in. so you found it a little surprising that he’s asking about Norbert, the cat who tends to show lots of aggression towards him. 

“Morning. He’s ok, I just took him for his check-up at the vet,” you shrug before entering the house. 

You leave the conversation there. There wasn’t much else to say anyway, and you had a lot of work to get to before the end of the day. If Mingyu feels a little bit ignored by your actions, he doesn’t make it noticeable, going back to working on his garden. 

From across the yard, neither you nor Mingyu notices Seungkwan’s looming figure as he and Vernon enjoy the Friday morning sun. He watches the two of you from his porch with a quirked eyebrow. They’re awkward for newlyweds, he thinks to himself. 

“Nonie, don’t you think they’re a little weird?” Seungkwan nudges his boyfriend, who’s mumbling to himself while Vernon reads his book. 

Vernon quirks up, moving his headphones a little to hear what his boyfriend has to say, “Huh? Sorry I was reading, what’d you say?” 

“Nothing, go back to your book love,” Seungkwan mumbles, his eyes still darting back and forth from your descending figure and Mingyu, his suspicions spiking once more. 

three.

“So, how’s the house? Do you guys have everything you need?” Jihoon asks over the phone. 

Being the marshall officer assigned to your case, he would take time out of his hectic workday to check up on you and Mingyu. You still remember the first time he had contacted you, informing you about your ex escaping a planned police raid. The rhythmic beating of your heart stopped the moment those words left Jihoon’s lips, and the fear of Seungcheol showing up at your home unannounced at any moment doubled within a second. 

You didn’t want to leave everything behind, especially because of how hard it was for you to build a life for yourself in your old city. But the other half of you was scared at the possibility of Seungcheol finding out about your new apartment and your new job; it was all too risky. 

Now that you’re here, a part of you wonders what you would have said if Jihoon told you that Mingyu was the man they were going to put into witness protection alongside yourself. Maybe if you knew from the beginning you would’ve refused, or at least asked to be placed somewhere that allowed you to be alone. 

“It’s fine Jihoon, we’ve unpacked everything, but our neighbours are quite noisy if I’m being honest,” you sigh, petting Norbert in your lap as you answer all of his questions. 

The first day you and Mingyu moved in, your neighbour Seungkwan took it upon himself to introduce you to Bridgwater. Not only did he give you the rundown of every family that lived on your block, but he also became very curious about you and Mingyu. Seungkwan’s questions hit you back to back as if you were being interviewed, and you don’t even remember how you answered any of them. 

“Who’s the handsome one carrying all your things?”

“Oh, that’s your husband? How long have you been married? How did you two meet?” 

“Do you two have any kids? No? Oh what a shame, this neighbourhood is filled with them. Does your husband have a twin brother? Don’t tell Vernon I said that — just joking!”

“Oh, who’s Vernon? He’s my boyfriend, he’s in the house somewhere, anyways why did you two decide to move to Bridgwater?” 

The questions went on for what felt like forever and before you knew it Mingyu had finished unpacking the first floor of the house. The place came fully furnished so you didn’t have much to do. But Seungkwan made you nervous to say the least, especially because you didn’t prepare to be quizzed on your first day in the neighbourhood. The only good thing to come out of that interaction was the brownies he baked, which tasted amazing, surprisingly enough. 

“Why? Should I look into it?” Jihoon suggests, bringing you out of your thoughts. 

You shake your head as if he can see you through the phone call. 

“No, it’s okay, one of them just likes to gossip I think,” you laugh. “Other than that we’re fine.” 

You hear Jihoon sigh out of relief, his day is already long enough. If he had to spend time looking into your neighbours to see if they had a criminal record, he would miss his dinner date. 

“Okay, good to know. I’ll call you again next week,” Jihoon says with a monotonous tone. 

A giggle leaves your lips, the exhaustion clear in his voice. You felt a little bad knowing he had to spend a lot of time on you and Mingyu’s case, but you were also thankful for the fact that you had someone to talk to from time to time. 

It's only been about a week since you arrived in your little suburbia ‘haven’, and you still haven’t made any friends in the neighbourhood. You don’t count Seungkwan… he was more like a pain in the ass than a friend if anything. Although his boyfriend Vernon wasn’t as bad; quiet and a little expressionless, at least he kept to himself. 

You hear the front door unlock with a beep, you already know who it is. 

Whipping your head to see Mingyu stepping through the front door, hands filled with grocery bags. His appearance is laughable, his tall stature and large muscles contrasting the pink Shiba Inu apron that he wears over his clothes. You weren’t sure where he had got it from or why he chose to wear it in public, but you don’t feel like it’s your place to question him. 

In the few days that you two have been living together, you begin to realize how different he is compared to his former mafia brothers. Mingyu had a knack for knowing his way around the kitchen, the whole house. He spent a lot of his free time cleaning, gardening, or making meals for the two of you. 

The two of you didn’t talk much, and there was still some awkwardness lingering in the air. Meals were eaten with minimal conversation, and during the nights you would read your books in the living room, Mingyu would sit on the opposite side attempting to get Norbert to warm up to him. 

“Norbert, please! Anytime but now, I have a shit ton of groceries that need to be put away!” You can hear Mingyu exasperate at the front of the house. 

Norbert’s meowing rings throughout the house and you already know that his claws are probably scratching away at Mingyu’s pants. From what you have gathered, Norbert isn’t very fond of Mingyu. You assume that he’s just not used to having another person around the house, but at the same time, you thought your cat would have started to get used to his presence by now. 

“Norbert, baby! Come and sit with me, I’ve got a new book for us to read,” you call out for him, saving Mingyu from your cat’s wrath. 

The pitter-patter of his claws grows louder as he makes his way towards you, Mingyu’s large sigh of relief following shortly after. You laugh to yourself at how much he likes to torment Mingyu, even though Norbert only weighs about twenty pounds and is a cat.  

The night goes on without another hitch. Mingyu prepares dinner for the two of you while you and Norbert dive into the first installment of Twilight. Reading aloud so your baby (cat) can follow along with the story about teenage vampires and werewolves. 

four. 

Mingyu was a man who thought he would never be able to escape his mafia, let alone be able to restart in a place that didn’t tie him to any of his illicit work. He never wanted to work for Seungcheol, nor did he want to live every day wondering if it was going to be his last. 

He sees himself as a simple man, and all his daydreams are centered around living a simple life. A home that’s fit for a family, a golden retriever to throw frisbees with, and neighbourhood barbecues. He thought it was all some far-fetched fantasy. 

It wasn’t until Jihoon got in contact with him, that’s when he realized that he finally had a chance at living the life he always dreamed of. What he didn’t know was that you would be the one he was going to be living with. But the moment Jihoon mentioned you, he knew that his wishes were more out of reach than he hoped. 

He didn’t have anything against you, but he still remembers the day you left Seungcheol. It's heavily ingrained in his memory, not only because your escape created an uproar, but it was also the day he realized he too needed to get out of there as soon as possible.

… 

“Boss? Wonwoo told me you wanted to talk,” Mingyu enters Seungcheol’s office, face painted with worry. 

The office faces the west side of the city, skyscrapers and clouds surrounding the large floor-to-ceiling windows. There sat Seungcheol, his hair tousled every which way due to his habit of constantly running his fingers through it. The most obvious indicator of Seungcheol’s stress is if his hair is a complete mess, and that is how Mingyu knew that there must be something wrong. 

“Y/n left,” Seungcheol’s voice breaks, head in his hands. 

His eyes are bloodshot, shoulders shaking as he cries to himself quietly. Seungcheol wasn’t prepared for you to leave, let alone disappear without a single goodbye.  He knew it was his fault too, and he knew why you left. The world flipped upside from that day onwards. Seungcheol hasn’t been the same since.

The air becomes thick, and Mingyu finds it hard to swallow. He knew how much Seungcheol adored you, and he knew that he would do anything for you. 

“What? Why? Did she say anything to you?” Mingyu panics, unsure what to say or how to comfort his leader. 

“No note, nothing,” Cheol sighs, picking at the chipped piece of wood on his desk. “All she left was her ring on the dresser.” 

“I’m sorry Cheol, I didn’t know.” Mingyu becomes meek, his voice softer than feathers falling onto the pavement. 

His stomach plummets to the ground. He had a feeling you found out what truly lies under Seungcheol’s business, but he didn’t know you would leave so hastily. He felt the guilt swirl throughout his body, but a part of him was relieved. Mingyu knew you weren’t meant for this lifestyle, and if you stayed any longer there would be no chance for you to escape. 

Wonwoo informed him that he told you about what Seungcheol does to bring money in. He told Mingyu that it wouldn’t be right to continue to let you live so carelessly without knowing what type of person your fiance is. 

It wasn’t long after that conversation that Mingyu found his way out of Seungcheol’s grasp too. He knows he should’ve felt bad, and that he should’ve at least found an excuse to leave Seungcheol. But he just couldn’t go through with it, he knew if he even spent a moment explaining himself, he would’ve never been able to leave. 

Mingyu was Seungcheol’s right-hand man, his confidant, and most importantly his best friend. Mingyu has seen Cheol grow into the person he is today, and it only makes him feel even more remorse. He knows he should’ve stopped him from becoming blinded by wealth, by power. But he didn’t and it caused him not only to lose his fiancée, but also his brother. 

Since that day, Mingyu has constantly pondered what could’ve been if Seungcheol hadn’t turned to mafia life. Would they have been happy? Would they have lived long lives with families of their own? There are so many unanswered what-ifs. He knows he can’t change his past anymore, but he knows that wants a better future. Even if it meant spending a year faking a marriage with his former best friend’s ex-fiancée. 

five. 

“Oh Y/n-ie! It’s good to see you, I swear I haven’t seen you leave the house since you’ve moved in,” Seungkwan snips, giving you a tooth-achingly sweet smile. 

You try to suppress your eye-roll as much as possible as he walks over to your side of the comically green grassed yard. Seungkwan’s hand is on his hip as he watches you make your way to your car. 

“Good afternoon to you too, Seungkwan. Just needed to pick up a few things for dinner. Mingyu spent the afternoon at the country club,” you return his fake smile, trying to keep up the facade of a doting wife. 

“Oh! Is that so? I swear I thought your husband did the housework in your home. He’s always wearing that pink apron around the neighbourhood.” Seungkwan pretends to act invested in your “married life”, but he’s trying to get whatever gossip he can out of you. His real goal is purely to entertain the neighbourhood aunties with any information on the newlyweds. 

Stopping in your tracks, his words catch you by surprise. You should’ve known that Seungkwan is an observant person, especially because he somehow knows everything about everyone in Bridgewater.

“Oh we split the chores evenly,” you let out a forced laugh, he offers to do the housework, and you think to yourself before continuing, “And he likes the apron, so who am I to deny his happiness?” 

Not wanting to be grilled by Seungkwan any longer, you hastily slip into your car before he can get another word in. 

…

“Norbert, please calm down honey, I’m trying to cook! And if I don’t end up eating neither will you,” you warn your cat to stop pawing at your leg. 

Norbert was extra clingy today, and knowing you weren’t the best cook in the world, you couldn’t afford to ruin the recipe for a second time. Yes, a second time. 

The first attempt at making alfredo for both you and Mingyu ended miserably, and thankfully you were smart enough to buy double the ingredients just in case any mistakes were to occur when you were cooking. The recipe online looked simple, and you even watched a few TikTok videos in an attempt to expand your knowledge. 

You thought that making a cream sauce and boiling some noodles would be pretty straightforward, but somehow, you burnt the boiling noodles. Seeing all the noodles stick to the bottom of the pan you decided to just leave the searing pot in the sink and worry about it later, which turned out to be another grave mistake. 

Mistake number two started when you thought the pot was cool enough to touch, earning you a sizzling burn on your soft skin. This explains Norbert’s clingy behaviour, witnessing all your fuck ups through his kitten eyes. You try not to swear in front of the baby but you couldn’t help but let out a few curses while you attempted to bandage up your burn.

 To say the least, you shouldn’t be let into the kitchen from now on. But you felt bad that Mingyu made food for the both of you instead of letting you fend for yourself, so you thought you could at least return the gesture. 

Norbert’s meows come to an abrupt stop as he hears the front door beep, making his way to greet Mingyu at the door. Except Norbert never greets Mingyu in a friendly way. Not more than ten seconds pass before you begin to hear Norbert’s hissing and clawing into the man's thighs. 

“Norbert! Please! Where’s your mom? Can’t you just sit with her so I can at least take my shoes off?” Mingyu begs, causing you to snort. 

Norbert doesn't listen to anyone but you, and even that is a rare occurrence for your sassy cat. 

“Honey, come to the kitchen!” you yell at your cat to return to his rightful side beside you. 

Mingyu comes speeding down the hallway, Norbert following him, his curious eyes peeking at your frame. He watches as you concentrate on making the alfredo sauce, tongue stuck out and a layer of sweat lining your forehead. 

The sun is setting behind you, the golden rays hitting your face, highlighting your features beautifully. Mingyu is entranced, his prior feelings of hunger are nothing but a memory of the past. 

You can feel his eyes on you, his stare boring holes into the side of your face and it causes your shoulders to stiffen slightly. Turning to face him, you quirk an inquisitive brow, not sure as to why he’s so trained on you. The gears begin to turn, and finally, the imaginary lightbulb begins to ding. 

“I was calling for Norbert,” you clarified. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, but it’s fine if you’re here too. I tried to make us dinner, I know you’re the cook but I felt bad that you’re always the one preparing food for us,” you shrug, trying not to focus on how handsome Mingyu looks in his golfing attire. 

His large biceps stretch the material of his shirt beyond belief, while the pants define his slim waist. The strands of hair are somehow perfectly placed, and his eyes are so kind, it would be stupid to deny his beauty. You can admit that Mingyu is extremely attractive, and you know you don’t owe Seungcheol anything, but the thought of being involved with Mingyu more than you already are could fuck things up for your future, especially knowing this arrangement isn’t permanent.

“I don’t mind though.” 

“I know you don’t but I do,” you sigh, finishing up the dish by adding the sauce to the pasta. 

Turning towards the island, you begin to plate the rest of the sides for dinner, trying your best to make sure that this batch is more edible than the first attempt. Mingyu continues to watch you, his arms crossed as he leans against the fridge. 

This is everything Mingyu wished for himself, the view of you plating the food you’re about to eat together, even if you’re his ‘best friend’s’ ex. Playing golf at the country club, even if it’s with Jihoon, who wanted to be able to meet without being inconspicuous. Coming home to a fluffy fur baby, even though Norbert hates his guts. It may not be perfect, or how Mingyu imagined it exactly, but it’s better than before. Better than when he was living every day like it was his last, working a job that brought him no happiness. 

“Did you burn yourself earlier?” he asks you, noticing the bandage you wrapped around your left hand. 

“Yeah, I’m not the best cook so, if the food doesn't taste right, sorry,” you apologize in advance, not wanting Mingyu to get his hopes up. 

He laughs at how apologetic you look, and you turn to give him a glare, his canines poking out of his smile like fangs. This is probably one of the first times you two held a full conversation. The only other time was when you were deciding on how the house was going to be run, and picking out your separate bedrooms. 

Mingyu was kind enough to let you stay in the master bedroom while he slept in the room across the hall from yours. If you took away the history you had with Mignyu and Seungcheol, you could imagine that the two of you are just like roommates. Living together, acquainted, but not exactly friendly or close. 

It isn’t as bad as you thought it was going to be, and you may have misjudged Mingyu at first. He’s a lot different than he was all those years ago, or maybe you find him to be different now because you didn't know him all that well when you were still with Seungcheol. 

You find Mingyu to be kind, soft-hearted, and a man who somehow knows a lot about taking care of the house. Even knowledgeable on how to clean Norbert’s litter box, and give him the occasional bath.

“What did you and Jihoon talk about at the country club?” you ask him, wanting to know if there’s any important news that should be brought to your attention. 

“Well he said that the FBI is still on the hunt for Seungcheol, but the rest of the guys have already been put into custody,” he sighs. 

“And Wonwoo?” 

“He’s fine, they pardoned him for giving up information,” Mingyu mutters, walking up to the space beside you. 

He takes the bowl of lettuce from your hands, adding in all the ingredients you prepped for the salad to have alongside your pasta. The brush of your hands makes you blush like some teenage girl, but you allow him to help you nonetheless. You didn’t realize how tiring cooking was because you’ve never had to cook for more than one person before. 

“That’s good to hear. If it weren’t for Wonwoo, I wouldn’t have been able to leave that damn place,” you laugh bitterly, folding the sauce into your noodles, making sure they were fully coated. 

“I was there, that day,” Mingyu mentions, his eyes trained on preparing the food in front of him, “Seungcheol was a wreck.” 

“I know, and I know it hurt him, but I couldn’t stand being there anymore. Especially after Wonwoo told me the truth.” 

“It’s okay, he’s not the same guy I knew from when we were kids either.” 

“I hope he’s moved on at least.” 

“I wouldn’t know,” Mingyu shrugs, his eyes glassy, “I left a few days after you did.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, for the same reasons you did, and also for myself,” he sighs, moving away to grab plates from the cupboards. 

Standing there, you’re stunned. Mingyu was someone Seungcheol saw as his brother, and you thought they would live their mafia life together till the end. As cheesy as it sounds, there were times you felt that your ex cared more for Mingyu than any other person who worked for him. 

Mingyu begins to set the table, Norbert following closely as he peers at the counter to see all the food that you’ve made. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought that even your cat was aware of the stiff atmosphere that blankets you and Mingyu. 

You don’t know if you should pry, so you just nod and help him with putting dinner on the table. And for the rest of the night, it was quiet. Eating in silence while Norbert watches Bluey in the living room, something that you’ve always put on for him just to keep him occupied while you and Mingyu eat dinner. 

After dinner was finished, Mingyu offered to wash the dishes, allowing you to relax and enjoy some episodes of Bluey with Norbert purring peacefully by your side. 

“Mind if I join?” Mingyu enters the living room, wearing sweats and a white tank top. 

You give him a shy smile gesturing for him to sit on your right side while Norbert lays on the cushion to your left. His taunt muscles distract you for a second, but you do your best to shake the attraction from your coursing veins.  The couch dips and Mingyu lets out a relieved sigh. Probably because he was tired from the day he spent trying to pretend he was out golfing with Jihoon. 

“So what’s the show about?” Mingyu asks you, his eyes trained on your side profile. 

“A show about a dog family,” you chuckle, “Originally it was meant for Norbert to watch when I’m working or when we’re eating, but it’s pretty good.” 

“Really? Isn’t it for kids?” Mingyu snorts but continues to sit next to you, watching the said kids' show. 

“Yeah it is, but Norbert is a kid to me,” you laugh, giving Norbert extra pats. 

“He’s a little menace that one,” Mingyu shakes his head, “I don’t think he likes me very much.” 

“Norbert just needs to get used to you,” you shrug, “I’ve had him since I left Seungcheol, so he’s seen me at my worst, he might just be overprotective of me.” 

Mingyu nods, taking in everything you’re telling him. He understands how leaving your ex-fiance is traumatic and heartbreaking. He knows it wasn’t easy for you, but at least you had Norbert to help you heal. 

“It wasn’t an easy decision, and Norbert helped me stay strong. It was lonely without Seungcheol for a long time, and a part of me will always love who he used to be.” 

Heat overwhelms Mingyu’s body, and his heart breaks for you. He can’t imagine what it's like to love someone and find out they’re not the person you thought they were. He knew you tried to tolerate his work, but at some point, you were led to your breaking point. 

“I hope you know you did the right thing. Seungcheol was going down a dark path and you were able to get out,” Mingyu smiles at you, his eyes filled with sincerity. 

“Thank you Mingyu, I appreciate that,” you return his smile. 

The two of you spend the rest of the night watching episodes of Bluey with Norbert, talking a little in between about the characters. Laughing at the scenes with Bluey and her younger sister, falling into a comfortable silence with each passing second. 

…

You feel warm, no, hot even. The sunlight hitting your face makes your eyes scrunch in discomfort. There's an ache in your shoulders as you begin to wake up from a very uncomfortable sleep. An arm pinning you down to the couch, a leg over yours. It takes you a while to begin to comprehend where you are and who is lying next to you. 

Mingyu’s snores fill your ears, heavy breaths tickling the back of your neck. You almost fall onto the carpet as you realize who exactly is holding you. Last night ended so peacefully, so much so that you don’t even remember falling asleep to begin with. 

Yet here you are, enveloped in his grasp, panicking and wondering how you’re going to escape without waking him up. And if matters couldn’t get any worse, you feel a hard bump brush against your lower back. The blush on your cheeks intensifies, he can’t be, you think to yourself. But you know what exactly is poking you as if this situation could get any more awkward. 

It's normal, right? Men get morning wood all the time, you thought to yourself. 

“Shit…” you whisper to yourself, slowly prying Mingyu’s arm from off your waist. 

He stirs in his sleep as you move off the couch but not enough to wake him up. As you stand up to walk away, you take one last peek at him, wondering how you two ended up falling asleep while watching Bluey of all shows. 

The usually sharp features are softened by his slumber, giving him a youthful look. It’s the first time you’ve seen him look so peaceful, and it suits him. This neighbourhood suits him as if he’s been living here all his life. It makes you feel a little envious knowing how easy it is for him to assimilate. He remembers all the neighbours' names and says hello to everyone who passes him while he's working in the yard, he just made it all look so easy to forget his life in the bustling city. Although you can’t blame him, you can tell he loves it here because of how much care he puts into the house. You can’t help but wonder why he’s trying so hard knowing both of you will part ways by next year. 

six. 

While you spent the majority of the day holed up in your office trying to finish off the rest of your projects, Mingyu decided that it was a lovely day to try and bond more with Norbert. He wasn’t sure how to make the stubborn kitten fall for him, but he thought that a nice walk around the neighbourhood couldn’t hurt. 

The day had barely started and Norbert was already making a fuss. Mingyu isn’t well-versed when it comes to cats; he’s more of a dog person himself. So to his surprise, Norbert was very adamant about staying indoors today. 

“Don’t you wanna explore the neighbourhood, Norbert?” Mingyu tries to persuade the cat, which makes him feel like a fool. 

Norbert gives him a blank stare obviously, and Mingyu wonders why he’s even trying knowing that the cat probably can’t understand him anyway. Trying his best to compromise with the ever-so-stubborn Norbert, a light bulb goes off in his head. 

It surely wasn’t easy, and there were a few scratches here and there, but Mingyu finally was able to put Norbert into the basket of his bicycle. The cat meowed like crazy until he was hit with the fresh air and warm sunlight. His meows died down and he sat in the basket peacefully, watching the kids play on the street and the cars pass by. 

“See? Not so bad now is it?” Mingyu chuckles, noticing the shift in Norbert’s mood. He meows back while nuzzling into the safety of his blanket. 

“It’ll be a boys’ day today, your mom’s busy working,” Mingyu continues, even though the animal can’t understand what he’s saying.

Feeling the wind brush through his hair, Mingyu takes a deep breath of fresh air. A content smile made its way onto his face, he could get used to this. The neighbours of Bridgewater waved to him as he biked along the streets. It's so peaceful, everyone is happy, and Mingyu is happy. He loved to explore even if it was just by himself, even if it meant he was alone with his thoughts. 

“Mingyu darling, what are you doing out and about today?” one of the older women he sees daily calls out for him. 

“Good afternoon! Me and Norbert just wanted to explore today,” he smiles with a toothy grin. 

The woman blushes at his handsome visuals, trying not to get caught up in his charms. She looks behind his large frame, spotting the cat sleeping peacefully in the basket attached to his bike. Letting out a giggle, finding it quite funny that Norbert is a cat and not a dog, usually, you don’t take cats out for these types of things. 

“Where’s that wife of yours? I’ve only seen her a few times, but oh my, isn’t she so pretty? You got lucky you know,” she chuckles, patting Mingyu’s arm playfully. 

Mingyu’s eyes shine at the mention of you, he agrees that you’re pretty but it feels a little weird that you're referred to as his wife, knowing that it’s all a facade. 

“Thank you miss, I’ll have to let her know that you said that,” he replies kindly while Norbert stirs a little in his spot before returning to his sleep. 

“Please don’t call me Miss, it's so formal! Just call me Auntie, okay?” she returns his kind smile. “You know what, I’ve got some leftover kimchi, why don’t you take it home, for you and your wife.” 

Mingyu’s eyes widened, his heart warmed by her act of kindness. “Is that ok? You don’t have to feel obligated to do that.” 

“Oh please, you young people, always so polite. I want to! So please share it with your wife, make some kimchi stew for dinner,” she reassures him, leaving him at her front yard to fetch a container of said kimchi. 

She comes back with a huge tub, enough to feed them for a whole month maybe. Handing him over the large container, she reminds him to come back when they run out. Bidding her goodbye, Mingyu returns home from his bike ride successfully with a sleepy cat and a comically large tub of fermented cabbage in tow. 

…

The smell of kimchi stew wafts from the kitchen into your office causing your stomach to growl with hunger. Focused on your pending tasks, you didn’t realize how fast the time flew by while you were working. Glancing over at the clock you’re surprised that it's already a quarter to five.

Stepping out to see what Mingyu’s doing in the kitchen, you find his back turned to you, nursing a large pot of stew on the burner. His large frame is accentuated by a white tank top, the pink string of his apron strewn along his waist. At this point, you weren’t sure if you were drooling over the smell of the food or the sight of your muscular fake husband. 

“What are you cooking?” you call out, leaning against the door frame that leads to your workspace. 

Mingyu jumps at the sound of your voice, surprised that you’ve come out so early. He knows you tend to work for long periods, only coming out when you’ve fully completed your assigned projects. 

“Kimchi stew, the lady down the street gave us a huge tub,” he replies, still stirring the pot without looking back at you. “I took Norbert out for a bike ride and she offered so.” 

“You took Norbert for a bike ride?” you ask with a raised eyebrow. 

Norbert is the type of cat who doesn’t like getting picked up and knowing that information makes it hard to believe Mingyu was able to successfully put him into the basket attached to his bike. Imagining him fighting to get your very grumpy cat into the bike made you giggle, especially because you know how much Norbert doesn’t like Mingyu.   

“Yeah, after a few scratches, he got in and I think he liked it. He fell asleep for most of it though,” Mingyu snorted, recalling how much that furball of fury put up a fight till his body hit the basket. 

“It’s nice that you’re trying to bond with him, it just takes him a while to warm up to you.” 

“Yeah, I figured we just needed a boy's day while you were working.” 

“Hmm, anyways the kimchi stew, is it ready?” you inquire while your stomach’s impatience continues to grow with each passing second. 

“It should be good, do you mind setting the table for me?” he requests while taking the pot off the burner. 

You don’t say anything else, moving to the living room to turn on more episodes for Norbert before grabbing plates from the cabinets to place them on the small dinner table. 

The serving dish needed for the stew sat at the very top shelf of the cupboard and your arms were simply too short to grab it. Your movements come to an abrupt halt the moment you feel Mingyu stand close behind you, one hand on your waist while the other hovers over you to grab the bowl. 

“Let me get it for you,” he grunts, taking the dish in his hand to ladle in the stew. 

Heart pounding in your chest, his breath tickles the back of your neck, a shiver running down your spine. Mingyu’s body encases yours as his arm comes back down to place the dish on the counter. 

Cursing yourself, you're thankful your back is turned to him or else he would be able to see the blush that’s starting to bloom on your cheeks. You mumble a small thanks before going to the table to resume setting the plates down for dinner. 

As you two eat in silence you think about all the moments you’ve had with Mingyu today. The time you slept on the couch until just now when he held you close. It didn’t even mean anything, it shouldn’t mean anything, yet it replays in your mind like clockwork. 

seven. 

The ringing of the doorbell brings you out of your thoughts, placing your book down, you head over to answer the door. It’s none other than your gossip of a neighbour Seungkwan. 

“Lovely evening Y/n-ie!” He smiles brightly, inviting himself into the foyer of your house before you could even protest. 

You resist the urge to roll your eyes yet again, stepping aside to allow Seungkwan to go on with whatever it is that brought him barging into your home. 

“Good evening,” you respond curtly, suspicious as to what he could need at this hour. 

“Vernon and I have some friends over for a little nightcap and dessert, do you and Mingyu want to join?” he asks, eyes never leaving yours. 

To a normal and maybe less paranoid person, one would assume that Seungkwan is just being a kind neighbour, but you’re not so easily fooled. The glint in his eyes makes you realize there’s probably an ulterior motive to his ‘act of kindness’. 

“Oh no it’s okay, it would be rude to impose,” you try to play it off politely, but the fucker wouldn’t budge. 

“Nonsense! I’m inviting you and Mingyu because I want you two there,” he explains, waving his hand at you.

Before you can refuse him even more, you hear Mingyu coming out of his room to check up on why you’re taking so long at the front door. 

“Y/n, is everything alright?” he calls out for you as he walks towards the foyer. 

“Everything’s all fine and dandy Mingyu, I just came over to invite you and Y/n over for some drinks and dessert!” Seungkwan informs him before you can get another word out. 

“That sounds like fun actually, why don’t we go baby?” Mingyu turns over to you, his eyebrows raised, his smile tight as he tries to silently tell you that he’s putting an act up for Seungkwan.

Still flustered by the pet name, you cough out a yes. Turning over to Seungkwan to give him a fake smile. He returns your smile, eyes squinted, you can see how hard the gears are working in that brain of his. You know that he probably finds you two odd because of how awkward you and Mingyu are with each other, but you attempt to play it off as normal as possible. 

“It’s settled then! Let's go, can’t keep everyone else waiting,” he exclaims as he opens the door, gesturing for the two of you to walk out first before closing the door. 

Crossing over to Seungkwan’s side of the yard, he opens the door for the two of you like the perfect host that you figured he would be. You cannot deny that his extroverted persona allows him to be so persuasive, but you can’t get over the fact that he’s a little too curious. 

“The newlyweds are here!” he calls out and five heads whip over to stare at you and Mingyu standing awkwardly in the foyer of their home. 

Mingyu grasps your hand in his, his palms rough, probably from all the work he does in the yard. Making your way over to the couch, a man with long hair gets up to pour you two drinks. This is the most that you two have come into contact with each other consciously if you don’t count the time on the couch. 

A part of you wonders if Mingyu realizes what happened this morning, but you’re too embarrassed to bring it up. So you’ll leave it and hope he doesn’t remember you two squeezed so intimately on the living room sofa. 

“Everyone, this is Y/n and Mingyu, they moved into the house beside ours a couple of weeks ago,” he introduces the two of you. 

As the two of you say your hello’s Mingyu pulls over to sit beside him on the couch, his arm wrapped around your waist. The blush on your cheeks stays permanently as you’re practically sitting on his lap. You try not to blow your cover but it’s hard with so many people's eyes on you. 

“You both already know Vernon-ie, the one grabbing your drinks is Jeonghan and that’s his wife, Valerie,” Seungkwan gets you two acquainted with the couple before moving on. “That’s Joshua and Maren, his wife.” 

“Nice to meet you! I’m Valerie but you can just call me Val,” the woman with brownish black hair smiles at you, and you can only nod, still overwhelmed with the amount of people you just met, “So why did you guys choose to live in Bridgewater?” 

“We thought it would be a nice place to live, I work from home and Mingyu is currently taking a break. The first time we saw the listing, we knew it was going to be our forever home,” you lie straight through your teeth. 

There's a twinge of guilt that stirs at the pit of your stomach, you feel bad for lying to these people because of how kind they all looked. You even felt bad for lying to Seungkwan, albeit he can be a nosy little shit but at least he’s nice enough to introduce you to his friends.

“If you don’t mind me asking where did you and Mingyu meet?” Maren, the woman sitting beside Joshua asks with a curious sparkle in her eyes. 

You almost choke on your drink, eyes wide because you were not prepared for all these questions thrown at you. Thankfully Mingyu took the lead this time, his thumb rubbing soothing circles where he had his hand placed on your waist. 

“We met through a mutual friend, we were in university at the time,” he smiles warmly and Maren listens intently, hanging onto Mingyu’s every word. “The moment I saw her I knew I was going to marry her.” 

Mingyu turns to you, placing a kiss on the top of your head, and your cheeks heat up for what feels like the millionth time today. Even though his acting this way with you is all a facade your heart can’t help but skip a beat. 

“What! That’s so cute,” Maren gushes before glaring at her husband before hitting his arm jokingly. “Why can’t you say cheesy stuff like that?” 

Joshua’s eyes go wide and he can’t help but stutter. “Bro you’re making the rest of us look really bad right now.” 

Mingyu barks out a laugh and just shrugs nonchalantly knowing that no one is immune to his charms. Even if all of this is a lie, he can’t help but play into the sappy newly-wed trope with you, and it doesn't help that he finds you so caring and beautiful too. There’s something about the way you lean into him on the couch and the soft smile you give him while talking about your “forever home”, you make it easy for him to imagine fake scenarios of how you two met. 

“What university did you two go to?” Jeonghan pipes up from his seat, his arm wrapping around Val as he sips on his glass of bourbon. 

“I went to Yonsei, I majored in statistics. Mingyu and I met at a club with our mutual friends,” you try not to sound too nervous while you piggyback off of Mingyu’s lie. 

The back of your neck feels hot from having everyone inquire about your history with Mingyu, and it doesn’t help that your ‘husband’’s sitting so close to you, his body heat transferring over to you. At least it wasn’t a complete lie, you did go to Yonsei and you majored in stats; just way before you met both Seungcheol and Mingyu. 

“What about you Mingyu?” Jeonghan moves on to him, and he perks up in his seat, mouth full of the cheesecake that Seungkwan made. The food fills his cheeks slightly and you giggle at how much he resembles a chipmunk. 

“I went to SNU, and majored in business,” he states after swallowing his dessert and clearing his throat. 

“Okay, enough with the interrogation. Can we talk about something else?” Vernon interrupts, obviously feeling bad for the fact that the rest of them have been asking you two questions for the majority of the night. 

The rest of the group laughs, probably because they know that Vernon doesn’t talk unless he’s prompted to. Although you don’t know him very well you could tell that he was more of a listening type. It makes sense that he and Seungkwan are together, he does enough talking for the both of them. 

You were more surprised by Mingyu’s answer though, you didn’t know that he went to SNU, if that was even the truth. Although he does look like the business type. There was something about him that exudes the energy of a CEO or a man who’s just good at making connections. He’s able to catch people's attention, his words carry the weight of someone who isn’t afraid to speak out loud. 

With the way he talked to Seungkwan’s friends tonight, you realized how well-articulated he is, and the fact that he’s able to get people to listen to what he has to say. Although he’s a little goofy, if you didn’t know him you would’ve assumed he’s someone important just by how he carries himself outside of the house. There’s a swell of pride within you when you watch him talk about your ‘past’, and for some reason, you don’t mind it. If anything, you’re looking forward to more moments like this. 

…

The rest of the evening went along smoothly after that, and by the time everyone was ready to leave it was nearing one in the morning. You helped Seungkwan clean up in the kitchen, putting away the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. The two of you were quiet for a bit, only talking when you asked him about what goes where. 

A part of you felt bad for being so curt with Seungkwan in the beginning. Maybe you were wrong about him and he just likes to be a nosy nieghbour, maybe it’s his way of making friends. You can’t help but be guarded due to your past and you misjudged him too quickly. 

Maybe it was the glasses of wine you had or the fact that you saw a different version of him. But there’s a lovable side to him, and also a side that doesn’t mind embarrassing himself a little to get a laugh out of his friends. 

“I want to thank you for inviting me and Mingyu tonight, all of our friends are in the city so we don’t get to see them often,” you confessed. “It’s nice to have someone else to talk to other than Mingyu or Norbert.” 

He turns to you with a genuine smile, and you notice that maybe that glint in his eyes is permanent, a glint that shows his happy demeanor and not the type that’s meant to show his mischievousness. 

“I’m glad you had fun because you’ll be invited to things like these from now on,” he expresses, his smile reaching his eyes now. 

“I appreciate it, Mingyu needs more friends in the neighbourhood, ones that are his age and don’t constantly drool over him,” you roll your eyes, recalling all the aunties who stroll past your front yard daily. 

“I can be his friend but I can’t promise I won’t drool over him,” he giggles, causing you to slap his arm playfully. 

“Hey! Leave my husband alone, you have your own. Don't get greedy now,” you feign anger at him, glaring at him before bursting out laughing. 

Mingyu walks into the kitchen, handing over the rest of the dishes that were left in the living room. His eyes dart back and forth between you as he realizes how much closer you two have gotten tonight. 

“Thank you, Gyu, if you ever get tired of being bossed around by Y/n you can always live with me and Nonie,” Seungkwan giggles as he calls him by his nickname, giving his large bicep a squeeze. 

You gasp at how forward Seungkwan is, your hand placed over your chest as you pretend to be offended by his words. He only glances back at you to stick his tongue out. 

“You’re so childish, he’s my husband,” you attested, pulling Mingyu by his arm so he could stand closer to you. “And I’m not bossy, Mingyu just enjoys doing housework!” 

Mingyu is even more confused now, but he cracks a smile when he sees how playful you’ve become. He concludes that maybe you just had a little more to drink than normal and goes along with you and Seungkwan’s teasing. 

“Woah that’s enough you two, there’s enough Mingyu for everyone,” he laughs and you give him a sour look. He was obviously feeling himself too much in that moment, but you can’t help but chuckle at how cocky he sounds. 

“Let’s go home Gyu, before Seungkwan decides to hold you hostage.” you huff emphasizing his nickname before you drag him over to the front door. “Bye Seungkwan, I already know I’ll see you tomorrow!” 

Waving goodbye to Kwan, you pass Vernon on your way as he sits on the couch scrolling on his phone while the two other couples mingle amongst themselves. 

“Bye everyone, it was nice meeting you, but it’s way past her bedtime,” Mingyu muses, motioning over to you. Your eyes feel droopy and you were practically hanging off of Mingyu’s body as he held you by the waist. 

They all say their goodbyes to the two of you with promises to meet soon again. Mingyu guides you through the front door and across the green grassed lawn back to your place. 

The time you spent with everyone tonight allowed you to recognize that maybe it isn’t so bad living here. Especially if you’ll be able to talk to them more often. No one but Mingyu knows about your past, and that reassures you to start new friendships, even though they’re temporary.

eight.

The next morning you woke up to your phone ringing incessantly, to the point you almost threw it across your room. It wasn’t until you read the name “Jihoon” flashing across the screen, causing you to fully wake up from what feels like a hundred years' worth of sleep. You silently promised yourself to remind Mingyu to not let you drink so much wine at Seungkwan’s house again. 

“Jihoon? Is everything alright? You usually check up on us in the evening,” you stammered, sleep still evident in your voice. 

“Y/n, hey sorry to call so early but…they’ve located Seungcheol,” he sighs, the news of his whereabouts hanging in the air. 

Gulping nervously, your palms sweat. The way Jihoon sounded a little apprehensive made you feel uncertainty brewing in the pit of your stomach. 

“Go on.” 

“He used a burner to call a friend of his I’m guessing, but we were able to ping it and he’s in the town next to yours.”

“What?!” Now you’re fully freaking out, pushing your comforter to go and find Mingyu. 

“I’m really sorry Y/n,” Jihoon sounds just as stressed as you are. 

Searching around the house you see him sitting on the sofa with Norbert beside him, they’re watching more episodes of Bluey, but he pauses the show after noticing the panicked look on your face. You go to sit beside him putting your phone on speaker so the both of you can hear what Jihoon has to say. 

“You’re on speaker, Mingyu’s right beside me,” you mention before allowing him to continue. 

His sigh is audible through the speakers of your phone, and your blood pressure rises. If Jihoon is this worried then you should probably just be as worried. 

“They found his location to be at a motel in the next town over, we don’t know how he found out but he might be looking for you two,” he explains carefully. “I’m sending over another Marshall officer to watch over you two while we continue to track Seungcheol. You two should be safe with him but try not to leave the neighbourhood for now, it could get dangerous if he ends up seeing either of you.” 

“Okay got it, thank you Jihoon,” Mingyu replies, his hand subconsciously placed over yours as you two bear the news of your very dangerous ex potentially on the hunt for you two. 

Jihoon gives you two his regards before he hangs up, probably too busy to linger on the phone for any longer. 

Giving Mingyu a nervous look, he can tell how hard this information is for you to handle. After a month of being here in what felt like a sanctuary from the dangers of the outside world, you’re pulled back into reality. You’re reminded of why you’re really here, more scared than ever. 

The tears start to fall before you even realize and Mingyu doesn’t say anything else, instead, he pulls you into your arms and tries to comfort you as much as possible. Even though he’s just as scared as you are, he’s determined to protect you, to protect his home, even Norbert. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n,” he whispers into your ear as you cry into his chest, your tears wetting his shirt. 

“You did nothing wrong, Mingyu,” you blabber as his hand rubs your back, trying to console your sobs. “I’m just so scared, what if he hurts us? What if you get hurt? I wouldn’t be able to handle it.” 

“Hey hey, it’s okay, I got you, I won’t let anyone hurt you. Don’t forget where I came from before all this,” he reassures you, pulling you back to look you in your eyes with a solemn stare. “He’s not going to touch even a single hair on you, or Nobert.” 

You giggle a little at the fact that he’s always so inclusive to the cat who’s a bitch to him but you’re happy to know that he’s willing to protect all of you. He laughs with you, wiping away the tears that have fallen from your eyes, his touch as gentle as a mouse despite how large his hands are. 

“You’re the best fake husband, I hope you know that,” you mumble as you go back into his embrace. “I know I haven’t said it yet, but I appreciate everything you’ve done for us.” 

“Thank you Y/n, you’re the best fake wife too,” he whispers back, kissing the top of your head just like he did last night. 

Except this time there’s no one to fool, there’s no one to lie to. It’s just the two of you, and the subtle meaning behind his affection makes you wish that it was Mingyu you fell for all those years ago instead. 

…

Jihoon: I have an officer who’ll be patrolling the area, his name is Jun Wen. Here’s his badge number: ###### and picture. Just in case someone tries to come and impersonate him, also don’t mind if he’s a little weird, that's just how he is; and yes, he knows what he’s doing so don’t worry. You’re in safe hands. 

An eyebrow quirks up as you read the last part of his text wondering what he meant about “weird”. As if on cue, the sound of the doorbell reverberates throughout your house.  That must be him, you thought to yourself. 

Mingyu leaves his spot on the couch and goes to get the door. He's become extra protective of you since the call you had with Jihoon this morning. It allows you to relax a little knowing he’ll be the one to answer the door from now on. 

“Uh, Y/n? Why’s there some guy meowing at Norbert on our front porch?” Mingyu asks you with a puzzled expression on his face. 

“Huh?” you’re just as confused as he is, but you walk over to Mingyu with your phone in hand regardless. 

Looking down at the picture Jihoon sent and back at the man squatted beside Norbet, you realize this is what Jihoon meant about him being weird. From the picture that was sent, he looks like a perfectly normal guy, maybe he just really likes cats? You wondered to yourself.

“Oh that’s Jun, the guy Jihoon sent over,” you mumble, showing Mingyu the picture on your phone. 

“Huh,” Mingyu says, dumbfounded. 

Opening the door you don’t say anything, just watching the man named Jun make noises at your cat, who looks disgruntled and very annoyed at the random human disturbing his sleep. He’s dressed in normal clothing instead of a uniform, probably so that the neighbours don’t ask any questions. 

“Mah-ow, mahhh-owww,” Jun keeps on making weird noises, blissfully unaware of the two of you staring at him from the now-opened front door. 

“Uh excuse me, sir, what are you doing?” you call out to him, the confusion still very clear on your face. 

Norbert hears your voice, ears perking up before he slips past Mingyu’s legs to go back into the house. His little claws clack against the hardwood as he makes his way onto the couch to continue with his afternoon nap. 

“Aw man, you guys scared the cat away,” he sighs animatedly before standing up to greet the two of you with his hand out to shake. “Hi, my name’s Jun, I’ll make sure bad guys won’t come and attack.” 

You and Mingyu exchange looks before looking back at Jun, then back at each other again. This is definitely not the type of guy you were expecting, but Jihoon trusts him, and you trust Jihoon’s judgment. 

“We didn’t-uh, never mind, anyways I’m Y/n, this is Mingyu,” you start to explain that you're not the one to scare Norbet away, but you quickly change your mind. Instead, you return his handshake with a curt smile. 

“Well, I'll just be patrolling around the neighbourhood, you’ll see me parked a few houses down once in a while. If you need anything, here’s my number.” He hands you his card which is filled with doodles of cats. 

He really does like cats, you confirm. 

He walks away with a wave before going back into his car and driving off. Mingyu bursts out laughing, hands clutching his stomach before he sighs, wiping off fake tears from his eyes. 

“That’s the guy that’s going to be helping us? Really?” he chuckles, looking at you like you’d know the answer to Jun’s odd behaviour. 

“Hey, don’t ask me, ask Jihoon,” you slap his arm playfully before laughing with him. 

“Well, hopefully, nothing bad happens from now on, I honestly think we could manage without a bodyguard of sorts, or whatever he is,” Mingyu snorts, off put by Jun’s personality. 

“Jihoon appointed him, so I’m sure he’s well trained. He wouldn’t have sent him over otherwise,” you rationalize, not wanting to doubt the person who’s meant to be protecting you from Seungcheol. 

“Okay, you’re right. Let’s just go inside, I’ll make us kimchi pancakes,” Mingyu beckons, and you close the door behind you before following him to the kitchen. 

Jun being there just gives you an extra layer of reassurance, and you know Mingyu is just as capable, but it doesn’t hurt to have backup. Seungcheol is a smart man, and you’re not sure what tricks he has up his sleeve, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. 

…

“Okay so now we just have to mix the pajeon mix with the kimchi,” Mingyu instructs, once again wearing his pink ruffled apron, but this time you’re wearing a matching one. 

With your hair tied up, and hands messy with kimchi pancake mix, you follow every instruction that Mingyu gives you. It was his idea to teach you to cook, especially because he knows you’re not well-versed in the kitchen. 

“Now what?” you ask, looking up at him for guidance, but before you can instruct him you spot the flour splattered on his nose. “Hey, you’ve got a little bit of… lemme just—” 

Not realizing your hands were covered in the wet batter you end up getting the mixture all over his face too. Gasping at what you’ve just done, Mingyu looks at you with wide eyes before taking some of the batter in the bowl and smearing it on your face. 

“Hey! I didn’t mean to, why’d you do that?” you let out a boisterous laugh, running away from him before he could catch you again. 

“I know you did that on purpose!” he yells out, chasing you around the kitchen island in circles. 

“No, I didn’t! Stop chasing me!” you squeal as he starts to close the distance between you two. 

“Liar, I’m getting my revenge!” he laughs along with you, hot on your trail. 

The two of you run in circles for a while till you have to catch your breath, causing you to slow down. Mingyu takes this opportunity to finally be able to get a hold of you, wrapping his hands around your waist with little effort before placing you on the counter. 

“Say your final words now,” he fakes a serious tone, his crinkled as he tries to hold back his laughter. 

Before you can get another word in he tickles your sides causing you to squirm against him as your back hits the counter. The bowl filled with kimchi pancake mix is long forgotten, half empty because of how much of it got onto both your clothes. 

“Ok stop! I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, I promise,” your words getting cut off by your laughter, Mingyu not relinquishing his hold on you. 

He stops for a moment, his finger pointed at you, “You promise?” 

You nod innocently, his upper body flushed against yours, legs intertwined at his waist as he pins you down to the counter with his other hand. 

“Not!” you bite the finger pointed at you, but Mingyu’s reflexes are too fast, his large hands pinning your wrists to the counter once more. 

The two of you have calmed down considerably since then, both tired from running around the kitchen. Your laboured breaths are the only thing that can be heard within the confines of your home. Mingyu’s face is dangerously close to yours, and if you leaned forward your lips would touch. 

The pounding in your chest doesn’t subside and Mingyu’s eyes don’t leave yours. His strong arms are perfectly within your line of sight, and at this moment you feel like you and Mingyu are the only people in the whole world. There are no fears or doubts, no scary ex hunting you down. Just you and Mingyu. 

Without even thinking, you both lean forward and capture each other’s lips in a soft kiss. You can tell he’s unsure at first, his hands loosening around your wrists, being as careful with you as he was this morning when he wiped away your tears. But you want more. 

Pressing your lips against his with more vigour, your legs wrap around his waist to pull his pelvis closer to yours. A grunt leaves Mingyu’s lips, he takes this action as a signal to kiss you more passionately. His tongue laps against yours, his hands lifting you so you’re both upright. 

“Mingyu,” you whimper, feeling the wet open-mouthed kisses he begins to press against your neck. 

Before you can get any further, a cat meows beneath the two of you, his head turned in confusion. You pull away from him first, staring at your menacing cat, Fucking Norbert, you curse him out in your head before hopping off the counter and dusting yourself off. 

“I’m gonna go shower, then we can go back to making the pancakes,” you smile awkwardly up at Mingyu. 

“Oh okay, me too, yeah.” He scratches the back of his head. 

Before you head to the washroom in your room you turn around once more and give Mingyu a quick peck on the lips. His arms wrap around your waist, trying to deepen the kiss once more. But you stop him before he can go any further, laughing at how needy he has gotten. 

“Let’s do that more often,” you giggle before running off to the washroom. 

Mingyu sighs with content, his cheeks rosy from your flirting. With you gone, he sticks his tongue at Norbert in frustration. What a cockblock, he says to himself in his head. Norbert meows in response before walking back to his spot on the couch. 

No one’s ever made Mingyu feel the way you just did. At that moment he realized how fucked he is, you’re only here with him for the next eleven months, then what? Do you two go on with your lives separately? And you two are supposed to just forget everything? The more he thinks about it, the more determined he is to stay. The more determined he becomes to make you his and to give you the life you deserve. 

The love you deserve. 

nine. 

“Afternoon, Jun!” you wave from the porch as you see his car approaching your driveway, his windows down, hair flowing through the wind. 

He looks so carefree despite how important his job is, and it makes you a little envious of his lighthearted personality. He must have a happy life out of work because you swear no one is this lax with a job like his. 

“Good afternoon to you too, Y/n,” he gives you a big smile, his little satchel wrapped around him as he makes his way over to you. 

It’s been about a week since Jun has been patrolling the nieghbourhood, and Seungkwan’s asked a few questions about the cute but odd guy frequenting your house. The quickest lie that you could come up with was that he’s your best friend visiting from the city. You told him that he works at the home office and that he comes over from time to time to work on another project with you. 

After that day, Seungkwan stopped asking so many questions, leaving you alone to sit and read with Vernon on their porch.

“Do you want to have lunch with me and Mingyu?” you ask him. “He made enough that I know we would have leftovers otherwise.” 

“My wife packs my lunch actually and she doesn’t like it when I come home with a full container.” He shrugs, taking out the cutely wrapped rilakkuma bento box from his satchel. 

“What! That’s so cute, I bet you love her lunch boxes,” you giggle, marveling at how much care his wife had gone into packing him food for the day. 

He rubs the back of his neck as he lets out a bashful laugh, his cheeks turning red at the mention of his wife. 

“Well she’s the only one whose food tastes exactly like my mom’s, maybe I’ll bring her around so you can meet her!” Jun’s eyes shine as he talks about his wife, obviously, head over heels for her. 

You find it endearing how much his demeanor changes from silly Jun to an in-love Jun. The tight feeling in your chest doesn’t subside as you watch how he goes on about her, and their cats Open, Close, and Lock. It makes you wonder if anyone would talk about you that way, even when you’re not there, or when it’s not some lie to tell to your neighbours and their friends.  

“That’s so sweet Jun, what’s her name?” you ask, wondering if you could make a new friend out of her too. 

“June!” he replies, his smile as bright as the afternoon sun. 

“Her name is also June?” you try to get more clarification on her name. 

As if Jun himself couldn’t get any weirder, he has three cats named Open, Close, and Lock, as well as a wife with the same name as him. You try to process all this information but you feel like it’s too early in the day to be thinking so hard. 

“Yeah! I’m Jun without an E and she’s June with an E,” he answers proudly. 

You leave the Jun lore for another time, instead asking him about other things going on in his life. He’s not as bad as you thought he would be, and you find that he’s actually very fun to talk to. Jun’s actions are always so animated, using his hands a lot while he’s talking. It seems like you’ve made another friend yet again. 

As you two make your way to the kitchen, Mingyu can hear your laughter ring through his ears. Two sets of footsteps make their way over to him, he knows Jun is just here because it’s his job but can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. 

“Hey Jun,” Mingyu greets him flatly, not really into the fact that he’s the reason his wife is laughing so hard right now. 

He has no right to feel jealous but he can’t help it, especially after the kiss you two shared the other day. The two of you haven’t gotten that intimate since that kiss in the kitchen and even though he wants it to happen again, it has to be on your terms. Even though he craves you with each waking hour, he wants to make sure he isn’t overstepping any boundaries. 

“Jun is going to eat with us for lunch, is that okay?” You go up to him, placing a hand on his bicep before giving it a squeeze.

Mingyu’s cheeks flush at your small gesture of affection, his eyes moving from where your hand is placed to your eyes. Looking up at him with doe eyes, you smile at him. Even though he doesn’t like the idea of you and Jun laughing together, he could never say no to you. 

“Yeah, of course,” he returns your smile and you whisper a small thank you before placing a kiss on his cheek, walking away to watch T.V. with Jun on the couch. 

He stands at the stove, a pan of grilled chicken to pair with your salads. A hand comes up to touch the cheek that you kissed, he smiles to himself as he continues to cook lunch for you two. 

It seems as though every day he spends with you, the harder he’s falling. He can’t help it, especially when you’re much more affectionate with him now. 

He fantasizes about the day you decide to no longer sleep in separate rooms across the hall from each other, and getting to wake up to you and your beautiful face every morning.  He watches you laugh with Jun in the living room and silently wishes that you’ll fall as hard as he has.

ten.

With every passing day, the more you worry about Seungcheol’s whereabouts. You’re safe here, and people are looking over you but you can’t help but be paranoid. You wonder if you’re going to have to live every day in fear. But thankfully, with Mingyu beside you, it becomes a little more bearable. 

It wasn’t until today that you realized that you could finally breathe right. You awoke to another call from Jihoon, who seems to only call about important matters early in the morning. He suggests that you get Mingyu, wanting both of you to be on the call. 

Your mind is spiraling. The last time Jihoon called he had given you bad news. 

“What’s wrong Jihoon?” you ask him apprehensively, not sure if you’re mentally prepared to hear what he has to say. 

Both you and Mingyu sat on the couch with bated breaths, waiting for him to say something. Anything. Mingyu has an arm around you, your legs on top of his as he holds you close. He didn’t even have to say anything, his silence was enough to indicate how nervous he was. 

“Guys, don’t be so nervous, now I’m getting nervous!” he sighs. 

“I can’t take this, just say it already, you’re killing me over here Ji,” Mingyu whines, squeezing you a little tighter to soothe his nerves. 

“Well, we found him. Jun was able to put him in custody and he’s been at the station for a couple of hours now,” he finally reveals, hearing the two of you squeal like a bunch of school girls over the speakers. “I know you don’t want to see him Y/n, but if you want you can come down and talk to him. Closure and shit.” 

Mingyu looks over at you the moment Jihoon mentions you visiting your ex, and he can practically see the gears turning in your head. To be honest, you’re not sure if you’re ready to face him, but a part of you is curious about what he’s like now. 

“Okay, I’ll visit him, but only if Mingyu comes with me,” you mutter, playing with the hem of Mingyu’s shirt absentmindedly. 

You think of all the scenarios that could play out the moment you meet with Seungcheol again, but you know that if you want to shed the rest of your old self. You need to finally face him and gain the closure you deserve. 

And the closure that Seungcheol deserves too. 

…

For the rest of the day, you and Mingyu have a little self-care night before your confrontation with Seungcheol. Your nerves are at an all-time high, even Norbert could tell you were anxious; constantly staying by your side, even when you were showering, working, or eating. 

You weren’t sure what you were going to say to Seungcheol when you see him, or how you’re going to even feel. It’s been years since you’ve faced him, you just know that if Mingyu is there everything will be alright. 

For some reason, Mingyu’s presence always calms you down. His comforting words and strong demeanor help you stay afloat in your deep sea of worries. Just like Norbert, you don’t think he realizes these past few months with him have helped you overcome a lot of your paranoia. The more you got to know him, the more you recognized how soft and loving he really is, despite his past. 

“You have to stay still, okay?” you mumble as you continue to slather the face mask all over Mingyu’s skin. 

Sat on top of the bathroom counter, Mingyu stood between your legs as you concentrated on the task at hand. His own hands placed on the tops of your thighs as he waited patiently for you to finish. 

When he proposed a self-care night, you didn’t think he’d agree to go as far as doing skin care with you. Obviously, you were very wrong, and it kind of warms your heart that he’s willing to do even something as silly as this and then watch Bluey with you on the couch. 

“Y/n, it tickles,” he whines, hands gripping harder on your thighs as he fights the urge to laugh. 

“Do not laugh! You’ll ruin it,” you try not to giggle, your own face mask starting to crack. 

“Okay, sorry but you look so silly right now,” he chuckles, his eyes trained on you. 

Even with your hair tied up and a fluffy bunny-ear face wash headband, he still finds you beautiful. It doesn't matter to him what you look like, just the fact that you’re here, with him, it’s all he needs to be happy. 

“Done!” you flash a proud smile before hopping off the counter. 

Before you can leave the bathroom, Mingyu grabs your wrist and turns you around till you're flush with his chest. You raise an eyebrow at him, unsure of what he’s plotting right now. Instead of saying anything more he just places a peck on your lips before whispering a small “thank you”, letting you two carry on with your night. 

You just laugh and shake your head at him before heading over to the couch to watch more episodes of Bluey. Norbert claims his rightful spot beside you while Mingyu sits on your other side. 

Tomorrow may be scary and you have a lot of thoughts running through your head, but spending the night peacefully with Mingyu and Norbert silences your worries enough to relax in the meantime. What you don’t expect is the constant thought of wondering if this is what your life would be like every day if you decide to stay in Bridgewater after the year is over. 

eleven.

The car ride to the police station is quiet. Mingyu’s hand is in yours as he tries to console your overthinking. There isn’t much he can say to help you at this moment, but the least he can do is show you that he’s here. He doesn’t want to say anything that could potentially overwhelm you, he just wants to show you how much he cares. 

By the time the car reaches the station, your palms are drenched in sweat, but you want to stay strong. You want Seungcheol to know how happy you are now, without him. You want him to see how different you are now after all these years, how you’re better off without his tainted love. 

“Y/n, Mingyu,” Jihoon greets you at the door, nodding to you. 

The ever so stoic Jihoon. He’s a man of very few words but you could tell that he was rooting for you. 

The walk over to where Seungcheol was being interrogated felt longer than normal, but in reality, it only took a few seconds to reach the door. Jihoon gives you a look before opening the door, one that’s silently asking you if you’re sure. You only nod with a determined gleam in your eyes, allowing him to unlock the door and letting you see your ex after so many years. 

His black hair looks the same it did all that time ago, except it was longer now and a little messy from him running his fingers through it. You could tell he was exhausted, and it broke your heart a little. 

There are feelings of anger resurfacing the moment your eyes lock with his, but also feelings of sorrow and pity. You’re reminded of all the memories you made with him, the happiness, the sadness, and the solace in between. But you grieved the loss of your love with him a long time ago, and even though there are fragments of those feelings now, it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. 

“Y/n,” Seungcheol’s voice cracks upon seeing you. 

Your chest burns and it feels like all the air in your lungs has dissipated. There’s a dullness to his gaze, almost like he’s a mere shell of the person he used to be. You should’ve known that Seungcheol lost his soul all those years ago when he decided to sell it for never-ending wealth. But here he is, in front of you: defeated, tired, heartbroken. There’s a small part of you that will always care for him, yet you know that you’ll never love him the way you used to. 

“Cheol,” you whisper, your back against the door, your body not wanting to get any closer to him than you have to.

“Y/n, please I never wanted us to end up this way, please. Please,” he tries to beg, to stand up, but his hands are handcuffed to the table. His wrists have turned red from trying to escape from his chains. It’s no use, he won’t ever be able to get as close as he is now. 

A single tear falls from your eyes watching his desperate attempts to reach you. But the room feels far too big now like the two of you are miles apart. So you stay put and tell him what you’ve been wanting to say after so many years.

“You dug your own grave, Seungcheol. I tried, I did. But how could you keep all that information from me? Selling illegal weapons may be one thing, but involving all those innocent people? Did you lose your damn mind? I couldn’t live with myself knowing how many people you hurt. Then you turned to drug trafficking? Did you really think I could marry someone like that?” you raise your voice at the end. 

Your chest is heaving from not taking a single breath to stop, to think, just saying whatever your heart is telling you to say. 

“Y/n, please! Hear me out, I want to make it work-” he begs and begs, but you cut him off.  

“There’s nothing to work out.”  

“I just wanted to have a secure future with you, I was going to quit after our wedding, please you have to believe me,” he keeps going, but you don’t want to hear it anymore. 

You scoff at his attempt to justify his actions, but you know better. The man in front of you will say anything to get you back into his life, but you don’t buy his bullshit. The more money he earned, the greedier he got, and the higher his ambitions got, he wasn't the man he was when you first met him. The constant reminder of him leading a dark path keeps you grounded. 

“You lost me the moment you decided to hurt people who don’t deserve it.” Your voice is stern, you don’t want to continue to drag this out knowing all he’s going to do is plead for you to come back to him. 

“Y/n please, I can’t live without you, even after all these years, I can’t sleep, nothing. I need you.” The tears begin to leave his eyes, but you do your best to stay strong. 

All you can do is shake your head at him, his words going through one ear and out the other. His sobs and pleading shake you to your core, but it doesn’t hurt to hear after knowing all the evil things he’s done. 

“But I don’t need you, I’m happy, I’m in love again. I have friends that care about me,” you countered.

 You're breathing heavily, trying to stay as calm as possible. You had no more tears left to shed for him. 

“It’s Mingyu isn’t it?” he asks, but you don’t give him any indication that his prediction is correct. 

Your heartbeat picks up at the mention of Mingyu’s name, and you’re not sure how Seungcheol found out about the two of you. At this point you don’t even care, because the happiness you deserve is waiting for you outside the very door you stand against. No one will get in the way of the reason why you’re able to breathe right again, especially not Seungcheol.

“That doesn't matter,” you defended, not wanting to speak to him for any longer. 

“But it does. Just tell me it’s not Mingyu, anyone but him please,” he continues to cry, the rattling of his handcuffs burning your eardrums. 

You’ve gotten your closure, the figurative shackles that Seungcheol had you in are finally broken. There’s a sense of relief to being able to face him without completely breaking down. Your heart no longer belongs to him, and neither do your fearful thoughts. 

“I don’t owe you anything anymore Seungcheol. Goodbye.” You end the conversation, turning around to close the door without looking back. 

His pleading can be heard through the metal, but you don’t dare turn back, you don’t dare to let him have his hold on you anymore. Closing the door of the interrogation room felt like closing the door to a chapter of life. And finally, after everything that has happened, you feel free. 

“You’re in love with me?” Mingyu’s voice is heard through all the commotion. 

He stands there with a hopeful look in his eyes, a small smile dancing along his lips. You roll your eyes at him as if it wasn’t already obvious how much you care for your fake husband. 

Walking up to him, you engulf him in a tight hug, your head buried in his chest as tears of relief leave your eyes. 

“Of course I’m in love with you, you big idiot,” you laugh, holding him tighter, so tight that you’re sure that he’ll never leave your side, even if he wanted to. 

twelve. 

The drive back to the house felt like a breath of fresh air. Wind blowing through your hair with the windows rolled down, Mingyu’s hand on your thigh, music blasting through the speakers. It felt like freedom. 

“Can I hear you say it again?” Mingyu turns to you while he’s stopped at a red light, his puppy-dog eyes are too cute to resist. 

“I love you,” you smile at him, placing your hand on top of his. 

The glistening in his eyes looked like it came straight out of a movie, they glittered in the sunlight, a reflection of his very being. 

“I love you too, did you know that?” he blushes, giving you a sweet kiss before returning his attention to the road. 

The two of you stay quiet for the rest of that way back, savouring the sweet moment. You still can’t wrap your head around everything that has happened during your stay at Bridgewater, especially because you’ve somehow found love again. A love that’s sweet, one that doesn’t feel as worrisome. 

“Home sweet home!” Mingyu announces the moment the car rolls into the driveway. 

You’re brought out of your thoughts and Mingyu gets out to open the door for you. The second the door closes he cages you between him and the side of the car. His lips softly hit yours and you moan out of surprise. The kiss is slow and sweet, and butterflies erupt in your stomach immediately. 

You haven’t kissed him properly since that day in the kitchen but you don’t mind the wait. If anything it causes you to feel hungry for more. Mingyu’s hands on your waist are pulling you tighter with each passing second, but making out in the middle of your driveway, where everyone in the neighbourhood can see, pulls you out of your lustful thoughts. 

“Let’s go inside?” You detach your lips from his, grabbing his hand and practically dragging him towards the front door. 

Once you two are inside, without any potential prying eyes you pull him back into a kiss. It’s sloppy and filled with more passion than the previous times you two were this close. You don’t want to stop feeling him against you. The firm grip he has on your waist travels under your shirt, his hands against your bare skin leaving a burning sensation in the best way. 

There’s a silent agreement between the two of you. You both know where this is heading but no one stops to take a break, to tell the other that it is time to let go. You continue to deepen the kiss, letting your tongue glide against his, your fingers running through his hair. It's addicting, Mingyu’s lips are intoxicating and all you want is to get lost in the arousal. 

“I wanna make you feel good, so good till all you can remember is me, no one else,” Mingyu mumbles against your neck, his lips trailing lower as you whimper in approval. “Tell me, is that what you want?” 

“Yes,” you whimper, eyes closed as you feel him lick and suck the skin on your collarbone.  

Backing away, you can see how the love and adoration in his eyes are tainted with hunger. The sight of him makes your stomach flip, there’s a darkness to his gaze and you gulp silently. Waiting for him to show you how badly he wants to fuck you, how badly he needs to see you whimper and moan for him. 

Without another word you bring him to your room, closing the door behind you so Norbert can’t interrupt like he did last time. 

The door is against your back once again and Mingyu towers over you, caging you with his body. His scent fills your senses, your knees going weak as he continues to stare at you with those hooded lids, his attention on you and you only. 

His hand trails against your jaw till he stops at your chin, tilting your face up so that your eyes are leveled with his. He licks his lips as he watches you, wanting nothing but to take you then and there. But he has so much planned, he can’t get too hasty, especially because the thought of you cumming for him over and over continues to plague his mind. 

“I want you to sit on the bed, and to be a good girl and take what I give you,” Mingyu mutters, his hand moving closer to your lips till his thumb pulls your bottom lip down. 

You don’t argue, moving away once again to do what he says. This is the Mingyu you used to know. The one who spent half his life in the mafia, the one who could command a whole room with a single word. 

Following behind you, he waits till you get comfortable on the bed before sitting down between your already spread legs. He captures you into a kiss once more, letting himself savour the taste of you. Your hands move across the expanse of his back, slowly lifting his shirt along the way and feeling his large muscles tense under your gentle fingers. 

“Fuck me, please,” you beg him, and your voice is strained, the words leaving your mouth in whimpers. 

Mingyu chuckles at your desperation as he removes the rest of his clothing, but your mind is buzzing like crazy. It’s been so long since you’ve been intimate with someone that you forgot how good it feels to be held, to be kissed. 

“Be patient baby, we’ll get to that eventually,” he grunts, lifting your shirt and removing the remainder of your clothes till you're bare. 

Marveling at your naked figure, Mingyu forces himself to stop drooling over how sexy you look in front of him. You’re so small compared to him, his large hands opening up your thighs to reveal your awaiting arousal. 

“You’re already fucking soaking,” he mutters as he prods with your folds. His fingers move gingerly as he teases you. 

His arms push your thighs till they’re flush with your stomach, giving him clear access to where you need him most. Trailing kisses along your inner thighs, your head hits the pillow as you moan out for him. You’re over-sensitive from not being touched by another person in so long, his lips leaving burning sensations on your skin. 

Your pussy is dripping on the sheets the moment he presses a kiss to your clit. Clenching around nothing, you continue to moan out his name, and it makes him smile against you. Hearing you call out for him is like music to his ears, your voice sweet like honey. 

“Keep doing that, please Mingyu,” you whine, your hands coiling around the strands of his hair, nails raking his scalp. 

Groaning against your mound, he continues to play with your clit. Licking and sucking it while his fingers enter your weeping hole. The sounds of his long digits moving in and out of you fill the room, and you can feel yourself getting closer to an orgasm. 

“Fuck, it’s so good,” you praise him, and it strokes his ego, his movements picking up in pace. 

The squelching noises only increase in volume, his fingers hitting that soft spot inside you that makes your legs shake and your vision goes white. Practically screaming his name, the coil in your stomach snaps and you cum against his mouth. His tongue moved against your slit to drink up your juices, wanting to feel you fill his mouth with your sweet nectar. 

His eyes remain trained on yours while he’s lying between your legs, you run your hands through his hair as you come down from your high. The words can’t seem to leave your lips and your mind is filled with euphoria. If he can do all that with just his mouth and fingers you wonder what will happen when he’s finally inside you. 

“God, you’re so needy. Probably haven’t been fucked properly in so long, huh baby?” he coos as he moves up your body, lips against your ear as he continues to mutter dirty words. 

“Need someone to take care of you? Is that what you need? Need your husband to fuck a baby into you,” he keeps going and your eyes roll back and he fondles your tits. 

“Yeah, you like that?” he chuckles, twisting at your hardened nipples as your pussy clenches at the thought of being filled with his cum. 

“You like it when I talk about fucking you till that tight little cunt of yours is stuffed full of my cum?” Mingyu’s mouth continues to spew words of breeding you, and his growing erection is harder to ignore. 

“I want it so bad, want you to fuck a baby in me, Gyu,” you sigh, your salacious moans bouncing off the walls as he flips you around. 

Ass in the air, he gives the supple skin a sharp slap and you shriek. But it feels so good, the sting of his large palm hitting you hard. He can see how much you’re enjoying it, kneading your full mounds as his head fills with thoughts of fucking you in this position. 

“Please just fuck me already, I wanna feel you inside me.” You’re weeping now, face smushed into the pillow. 

“You sure you’re ready?” he asks you, pulling you by your hips till your back is arched. 

The neediness inside you is at its highest point, and you can’t seem to form any words as you feel his fingers glide against your soaked hole. Moans can’t stop leaving your lips and you’re already sensitive from your first orgasm. 

Placing a pillow under your stomach, he continues to manhandle you into the position he wants you in. Face down, ass up, your legs are spread, and your wet entrance is all ready for him.  Mingyu grabs his hard cock, stroking it a few times before spitting on your cunt, and you jolt at the hot liquid hitting your folds. 

“Fuck, you’re tight, I should’ve prepped you more,” Mingyu groans, his length slowly forcing its way past your entrance. 

The air is knocked out of your lungs as you feel him starting to fill you. The stretch is agonizing but the burn sends tingles of pleasure up your spine. It felt so fucking good having him inside you like this, your mind full of nothing but the shape of his cock. 

“I want it hard, fuck me hard,” you tell him, your voice shaking as he continues to enter you. 

“Okay baby, but just know I won’t be gentle anymore,” he warns you and maybe you shouldn’t have been so eager, but that primal part in you just wanted him so bad. 

Once he has himself fully sheathed in your heat, he pulls back until only the tip is left. You gasp at the sudden empty feeling, but you're quickly silenced when he dives back in. His hips slapping against your ass, his balls hitting your clit. Mingyu’s stamina is insanely high as he continues to thrust in and out of you. 

“Fuck, you’re so big, I-I can’t!” you cry out, your screams picking up in pitch till you're moaning like a porn star. 

“So fucking tight, baby you’re driving me crazy,” Mingyu continues to grunt, his movements not slowing down for even a second. 

His hands move to grip your hips tightly, he stops for a split second to stop his thrusts. You thought you were going to be able to catch your breath. But he just keeps surprising you. The hands that he placed on your hips tighten and he moves you up and down on his cock while he stays still. Using you like his personal sex doll, but fuck, it felt amazing. You love that he’s using you, placing your body in whatever position he wants to chase his own pleasure. 

“You’re so perfect, I could fuck this pussy till I’m empty,” he mutters, watching his dick disappear inside you. 

There's a white ring of arousal around the base of his length, and his mind goes blank. All he can do is continue to bounce you up and down his member till he can feel himself start to twitch inside you. 

“I’m gonna cum, baby you feel so good inside me,” you scream for him, loving the way the ridges of your walls continue to suck him up, your orgasm hitting you once again,

There's something so nasty about him using your body, and you’re enjoying all of it. You love how he’s just taking what he wants, yet he still knows how to make you cum. Your pussy is swollen from the beating it’s taking, but you want more. You want him to keep going till he has nothing left to give you. 

The feeling of Mingyu twitching inside your walls indicates that he’s close, and you continue to clench around him. Wanting to milk him of his seed, wanting to feel his cum hit your cervix and breed you. 

“Gonna cum inside you, okay baby?” he warns you before stilling his movements. 

His cock twitches again till you feel his hot white cum spurt inside your walls, flooding your cunt with his seed. Mingyu groans, watching the liquid fill you and breach past your tight hole till it gushes out. The sight is so unholy, so sinful but he can’t just stop there. No, he won’t stop till you’re stuffed properly. 

“M-mingyu, baby,” you whine, your body flopping onto the mattress as he lets you go. 

Your legs turn to jelly as you shake from how hard you came, your breathing labored. He turns you around so you're splayed out for him, prying your legs open to watch his cum fall out of your pussy in thick globs. It’s so mesmerizing, hypnotizing, he wants to see more of it. To fill you with more of his seed. 

“We’re not done,” he smiles as you cheekily and you laugh. 

“You want more after all of that?” you question him, your breathing still harsh from the previous round. 

“Baby, after all of that, I don’t think I can stop,” he mutters against your lips, and you nod, agreeing with his statement. 

He switches your positions, his back against the headboard while you sit on his lap. The refractory period doesn't seem to exist with Mingyu because his erection is standing proudly in front of you. 

“You wanna go again?” he asks you, one hand on your hip as the other rubs his cock as it glistens with a mixture of both of your arousals. 

“I want you to use me till you can’t anymore,” you lean over, whispering in his ear. 

“Careful, you might regret that later,” he mutters, a hand around your neck as he halts your movements.

Pulling him into a heated kiss, you position his length against your entrance, lifting your body till you can fully sink down on him. Even after the first round, your pussy still can’t get used to the stretch that his cock gives you. It's a delicious feeling, his length is so long and thick you can feel it in your stomach. 

“Ah!” you cry out, your head thrown back as you stabilize yourself by holding onto his shoulders. 

Mingyu moans back, mesmerized by the view of your tits bouncing up and down in front of his face. His cock disappeared inside you once more, the sight making him feral, hungry to see you filled to the brim with his semen. 

Your orgasm comes around faster this time and your walls convulse around him once more. The heat, the wetness, the silky feeling of your cunt makes Mingyu go delirious, thoughts only filled with you and you only. Stilling your hips, his own high follows yours shortly after, his cum hitting your insides till it covers his softening member all over again. 

You let out a puff of breath, leaning into his chest as your face rested in the crook of his neck. Mingyu rubs your back soothingly, his dick going soft and falling out of your entrance. Whimpering at the loss of him being inside you, you hold him tighter. The feelings of exhaustion are finally catching up to you, but you know you’ll have to clean up soon enough. 

“You know I love you, right?” he reminds you as he lifts you up and off the bed to head to the shower. You can only nod, your mind and body too tired to respond. 

Setting you on the counter, his back turns away from you while he prepares your bath, getting the water warm for you. You notice the large dragon tattoo that coils along his skin. It surprises you that you haven’t noticed it before, but the black ink on him is undeniably sexy. 

Once the water is warm enough, he carries you to the shower before cleaning you up properly. You love that he’s back to his soft and kind self, and it makes you fall for him even harder. The hard sex was so good but what’s important to you is the fact that he’s so keen on taking care of you after. 

Mingyu’s hand snakes around your waist as your head lays against his shoulder, pressing lazy kisses while you whisper words of gratitude. 

“Thank you, I love you too,” you mumble, adorning him with pecks along his warm tan skin. 

epilogue. 

“This whole fucking time,” Seungkwan stares at you with wide eyes, “I fucking KNEW it.” 

You scoff at him, he just had to be right about everything and it annoys you, but here you are again, in his home for drinks and dessert. 

“Sure you did, Kwannie,” you sigh, patting his shoulder. 

“I swear I did! Right, babe? They were suspicious from the start,” he continues to argue, roping in Vernon who gives him a shrug of his shoulders before returning his attention to his phone. 

It was time for you and Mingyu to break the news about your fake relationship with everyone. You felt bad for deceiving people, and now that you two were actually in love, it just felt right to put the fake marriage thing in the past. 

“Please, we weren’t that obvious,” you defend, not wanting to give Seungkwan the bragging rights to actually be right this whole time. 

Seungkwan just rolls his eyes at you before taking a sip of his wine. He didn’t feel like arguing with you anymore, he’s just happy that his suspicions have been correct this whole time. 

“Does this mean you’re going to leave soon?” He looks at you with desperate eyes, taking your hands in his. 

“Well, we’ve talked about it, and Mingyu and I have decided to stay,” you smile at him from where he sits across the room, talking about something unimportant with Jeonghan and Val. “So don’t worry, I’ll still be your neighbour. Bridgewater actually seems like the perfect place for us right now.” 

“Oh thank god! I don’t think I could live happily ever again if you moved away, Y/nie.” He pulls you into a hug, and you can’t help but laugh at his dramatics. 

Seungkwan may have started as a pestering neighbour, but you can’t help but feel grateful towards him. If it weren’t for his annoying attitude, you and Mingyu probably wouldn’t have tried so hard to pretend to be in love. You could say that Seungkwan was one the biggest reasons why you and Mingyu fell so hard for each other in the first place. 

…

A few days after solidifying your relationship with Mingyu, you two decided that it wouldn’t be too bad to stay here after all. Seungcheol was sentenced guilty during trial and Jihoon informed you that there's no more reason for you to be put into witness protection. Everything just seemed like it was all falling into place, and you’re happier than you have been in so long. 

Even Norbert has finally warmed up to Mingyu. Sometimes when your work day is over, you’ll spot them cuddling on the couch and watching Bluey together. He always talks to Norbert, asking him questions even though the cat can’t answer. It warms your heart knowing that the two beings that healed you from a world’s worth of hurt can get along. They both came into your life when you needed it most, and every day you're thankful that you’re surrounded by so much love. 

“Watching Bluey without me?” you ask out loud, your arms crossed as you pretend to be mad. 

“Baby! You’re done!” Mingyu practically flies off the couch to capture you in a bone-crushing hug. 

“You know you can come into my office when I’m working,” you laugh as you rub his back, savouring the feeling of his large and muscular arms holding you. 

“I know but I don’t want to distract you, even Norbert doesn't go in,” he mumbles, inhaling your scent as if he didn’t wake up beside you that very morning. 

“You’re silly, Mingyu,” you laugh, kissing his cheek. 

He blushes like a schoolgirl before giving you the biggest grin known to man. His eyes sparkling against the living room lighting, you can tell he’s head over heels for you. Mingyu isn’t afraid to show affection or to be vulnerable, he just wants to be with you, no matter how good or bad things get. 

“Can’t I just be happy my wife is off work?” He sighs lovingly, brushing your hair through his fingers, refusing to let you go. 

You roll your eyes at how cheesy he is, but he knows that you secretly love it. Especially since you act the same way with him whenever he goes out to run errands or when he tends to the garden. 

“Your wife is hungry and tired, can we make more kimchi pancakes please?” you ask with puppy dog eyes. 

Mingyu laughs at you before kissing your forehead, “Anything for the love of my life.” 

Blushing at his words, you follow him into the kitchen to make the kimchi pancakes you had asked for. Putting on his pink ruffle apron, he gets down to business, always wanting to cook the best food for you. 

Mingyu is satisfied knowing that he’s able to give you the life that you deserve. To love you on sunny days and even on rainy days. He’s never felt a love that was this secure, and he’s grateful that you feel the same way. 

As you watch Mingyu cook, you think back to the first day you moved to Bridgewater. You misjudged him that first day and you’re so glad that he proved you wrong. He has been nothing but amazing since then. He’s patient, and kind, and he loves you even when you’re irritated or in a bad mood. For someone who used to be a part of the mafia, you would expect him to be rough around the edges, and intimidating, but he’s the complete opposite. He’s the perfect house husband. 

end. 

𖥔 a/n: you've reached the end of my hubbygyu fic! thank you for reading and please leave an ask or comment if you've enjoyed this story :)! but wait... there's more! this story will become a series that takes inspiration from the anime ( the way of the house husband) so please look forward to seeing more of wifey y/n and hubby gyu! thank you again ♡.

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.

[chugging-bleach]

"EVEN IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME BACK, I LOVE YOU" - love confessions with the gintama men.

✩ ⋅ ⋅✩ ⋅ ⋅ ✩ ⋅ ⋅✩ ⋅ ⋅✩ ⋅ ⋅ ✩ ⋅ ⋅✩ ⋅ ⋅✩ ⋅ ⋅ ✩ ⋅ ⋅ ✩ ⋅

includes. Gintoki, Hijikata, Katsura x gn!reader

summary. the way you fell head over heels for the idiot, confessed your love and where you got a confession back, much to your surprise.

tags. love confessions, fluff, light angst, hurt/comfort, being confessed back to, rejection, love at first sight, unrequited feelings

a/n. this is the first reader insert tumblr post i have attempted. if you don't want to read the rejection of the confession part it has been marked as 'alternate// rejection,' so feel free to skip it. thank you and please let me know how you like it <3 feel free to request other gintama characters! i plan to write for ayame and tsukuyo next so stay tuned for that :) i hope you have as much fun reading as i had writing this!

also shameless plug but consider checking out my <y/n> fic on AO3 about drunken shenanigans with the entire gintama gang <3 - The Baby Daddy deserves to suffer as much as the Baby Mommy to birth an abomination

SAKATA GINTOKI.

how you fall in love.

you were facing a large dilemma and had nowhere to go for a solution and are directed to the Yorozuya's doorstep

you are in denial about it but it was love at first sight, you know you have gone insane when a man guzzling down strawberry milk is attractive to you

maybe you just need to get laid

or maybe just maybe you can't look away from his neck, they way his adam's apple bobs as he gulps it down like water and how you can see his chest exposed a little with his shabby yukata

or the way he says "i'll handle it" knowing full well he won't but you can't help but trust him

your confession.

"the jobs over. you can get rid of me now."

that's the problem. you don't want to leave. you're on the back of his scooter since he offered to drop you home

after all, he caused more trouble than the job was in the first place, where your main job split off into mini jobs which you had to tackle along with the main job???

honestly, you're just happy that you spent more time with him before you had to part ways

"i didn't know you were that scared of scooters." you were gripping tightly as if you never wanted to let go of him

"your scooter might just break down. better to take you down with me"

is what you meant to say but instead you said

"i like you, Yorozuya-san. i like you a lot."

he actually falls off the scooter and both of you tumble in a heap together, thankfully uninjured apart from the pain of the intense silence that descends

you're both panting loudly and are too afraid to break the silence

"i'll...walk the rest of the way" more than him, you want to save yourself the ache

with a heavy heart you scramble to your feet, ready to wallow and drag yourself back to your house

"wait up. if you think this is going to be payment i need to correct you! you need to pay real money, tricks won't work..."

his voice falters. your eyes are clear and barely containing the emotion brimming in them.

he has to answer you

his confession.

"don't look at me like that. help me up."

you snap out of your trance and reach a hand out with your heart beating rapidly

he grasps your hand, wrapping his fingers around you. you try not to linger too much on the touch, tighten your grip and pull.

the opposite force pulls you forward and you fall to the floor and are being pulled into his lap

not pushed away not at all

"now then, there's a lot of strawberry milk you owe me for all this trouble."

that's as much as a confession as you will get from him and it's more than enough, more than you ever thought you would get. he holds you as tears stream down your face silently.

alternate// rejection.

he falters starting and stopping his sentence multiple times, struggling to find the right words.

you want to snap at him in frustration, that he just cut to the chase and be done with it

you remind yourself that this is difficult for him too

he brushes the dust from his soft, white hair that you won't even get to sink your hands into nor wind around your fingers

when he looks you in the eye, you know his answer and you know what he'll say

"i will always accept you as a prized customer, -sama!"

you give a shaky smile, hoping that the darkness of the night is enough to hide the tears falling down your face and you walk away with a taste like rotten strawberries on your lips

HIJIKATA TOSHIRO

how you fall in love.

your boss is relentless, sending you out on random errands all day, thinking of you as his personal maid more than an employee

today you're on your fifth cigarette run of the day, buying for the entire office

the usual vending machine is out-of-service so you go to the trashy one which is a long walk away

once you get there, you see the rusty exterior and sigh, thinking of how many dimes the machine will eat before actually spitting out the cigarette box

you also see a man, casually leaning on the other side of the machine smoking. a man you recognise as the demon vice captain of the shensengumi.

you freeze in your steps, scared as if you committed a crime, when in fact you are innocent

he stubs out his cigarette on the side of the machine and tosses it. it lands on your arm and you yelp in pain. he looks startled and slowly realises what happened.

"ahh, i... miss...um..."

why is the police officer scared in this situation? you speak up, clutching your slightly stinging hand "it's not a bother, officer. i was wondering if you can help me with this machine? the one i frequent is out of service and my boss needs me to buy some. how many coins will this machine eat?"

your simple request with easy instructions activates 'officer helping civilian mode' and he goes ahead and shakes the machine violently. a box of the worst brand that your boss will curse you for, Mayoboros with the mayonnaise filter falls out.

you stare at him as he hands you the box. your voice catches in your throat and you're instantly smitten. he's devilishly handsome. you notice his face has a shallow cut on it.

"here," you remove the backing from a bandage in your bag and place it on his cheek. you're on your tip toes and his breath fans your forehead. "thank you for the cigarettes, officer."

"hijikata toshiro at your service miss, your boss will appreciate those cigarettes."

your boss, in fact did not appreciate them. you tune out the yelling by recalling how close you were to him.

your confession.

you frequent this rusty vending machine even though the previous good one is back in service. you just want to see him again and again. without fail, he's always there and you wonder whether is it because he's just a nicotine fiend or because he wants to see you too

immediately you banish that thought out of your head.

you arrive again and as usual he's leaning against the side of the machine but this time he has bigger bandages covering his face, neck and body

he moves to shake the machine like he does but you stop him, stilling him by placing your hands on his shoulder. he moves away from the vending machine, quietly looking at you and waiting, a cigarette dangling from the side of his mouth.

you show him the box of cigarettes sticking out of your pocket and gulp the lump in your throat. it is now or never. you have to, need to know his answer.

"i like being around you. i like being around you a little too much." the smoke from his cigarette is fanning your face making you feel more light-headed. "i want to be around you more."

your sentences are awkward and you couldn't look him in the eye while you could feel his eyes on you the entire time.

his confession.

he takes a puff of his cigarette. you watch the smoke curl up in the air, bracing yourself for the worst. he shifts around uncomfortably, awkwardly closing the distance between you and then just as quickly moving away.

you dare to look at his face to see the calmness is gone. pink is dusting his cheeks under the bandages and the image of the cool police officer cracks. he looks so adorable trying to bid for time by smoking slower.

"i need to leave for the office soon."

hijikata was always a man of few words. he placed his hand on the top of your head and ruffled your hair gently, sighing the entire time. words were escaping him.

"would you want to get dinner with me after work?"

you expected a lot of responses but this one exceeded your expectations and was the best one

"absolutely!" you beam and he gives you a small smile in response to your big toothy grin

in another unexpected moment, he presses a kiss to the top of your head and you just melt on the spot, now it's your turn to be a blushing mess

"see you tonight"

alternate// rejection.

hijikata and you maintain eye contact. you can see he feels the same way. but something is holding him back.

he swings his shenshingumi jacket over his shoulder, never moving his gaze away from your face.

"i get into a lot of trouble. wouldn't want a pretty thing like you to worry over me."

you don't want to understand how he can reciprocate the same feelings and yet still flat out reject you. you don't want to understand his reasons.

you especially do not want to think about how this might be the last time he decides to see you since you decided to reveal your feelings. you knew the risk this carried and it blew up all over your face. a strong wave of self-hatred washes over you. if only you hadn't confessed, you would have been able to see him everyday. maybe if you confessed at a later day, things might have turned out differently.

he snaps you out of the loop, placing the jacket around your shoulders. you didn't realise you were shuddering from the weight of the situation, from the effort of reeling back the strong wave of negative emotions being set off inside you

you pull it close to you absently. hiijikata closes the gap between the two of you, lightly, barely brushing his lips against yours. before he could get carried away, he pressed a few chaste kisses on your forehead and temples

there was another reason to him ending it and you respect him enough to watch him walk away just as quickly as he had closed the distance

he left his jacket behind and sure enough there's a cigarette and lighter in the pocket. you light your first and last cigarette of the time being and wonder as you cough loudly, the smoke which is the only reason there are fat tears on your cheeks and your throat is scratchy

will you wait?

KATSURA KOTARO

how you fell in love.

someone left their kasa hat at your store so you decide to give it to the local lost and found when the owner doesn't come to pick it up from your store for over a month now

all you remember is the man rushing into the store, taking his hat off, letting long black hair down which mesmerised you, wearing a ridiculous plastic moustache disguise and pretending to peruse your goods. you were planning to kick him out despite how pretty he was since this eye candy was just being a nuisance.

before you could say anything he said "stay calm."

a bunch of dangerous street samurai swarmed your shop and you couldn't in fact "stay calm," looking at their swords, thinking of the damage they could do. this shop took a lot of money to make and keep running and you didn't want it ripped to shreds

thankfully, there were no other customers so you played dumb and said "welcome! how may i help you gentlemen?" hoping that your fear didn't show

they looked directly at the only other person in the store the "stay calm" man and you knew a fight would break out. bracing for the worst and calculating the damages bill (more scary than all these men combined), they said "that man did not have a moustache. he's managed to escape!"

you are dumbfounded that the disguise worked. once they all left, the man took the hat and 'disguise' off. "do you want to buy anything?" you ask. "no but i owe you a favour."

"then get out! don't bring trouble to my shop!”

since then, you haven't seen him and thought he would come back for his hat. on the way to the lost and found, you unexpectedly bump into him again.

this time he is wearing an afro. on top of his long hair.

"your hat, sir. you left it in my shop." he takes it from you and bows deeply, walking you back to the shop. "stay safe," you want to scream that he's the shadiest character ever but smile.

after that, you keep meeting him in random 'disguises,' which have a 100% success rate of working.

your confession.

you don't enjoy the brief meetings and clashes. you want to know more about him. "remember you said that you owe me a favour?" you say, heat rising to your cheeks.

this time, he's only wearing sunglasses and his signature hat. you have seen his posters everywhere KATSURA THE TERRORIST. well, he makes a pretty shitty runaway criminal but there must be some magic in those disguises.

"yes, in fact you can ask me two things. you gave my hat back to me."

you didn't want to bring up the fact that he should owe you more since you saved him from being found multiple times by swallowing your pride and playing the hysterical woman card

there are, more important things you want to ask him

"one should be enough. can we get ramen?"

you thought he would be dense and not understand what you were getting at, so then you would have used the second favour

his confession.

you flick the end of his hat, startling him and knocking it sideways. he totally was hiding being flustered under the hat and worrying at the edge of his lips.

"i...don't exactly know about timings. it's always random."

"i can wait, then you can pay me back again for waiting. my shop can be your home."

blush colours your cheeks as you realise what you just said. you want to spontaneously combust. you move your head, hoping your hair falls and covers you enough.

katsura moves the hair out of the way and beams at her. “i know of a good ramen place. why wait let’s go now.”

alternate// rejection.

no he didn’t get it.

he considers your offer way too seriously. he didn’t get the underlying message.

“sure. let’s go now. there’s a place around here.”

you didn’t get your answer but you might say something at some point during the ramen eating.

he stops you in front of ‘Hokuto Shinken ramen shop’ with the sign falling off. a blonde lady comes outside, throwing a pan at katsura, who promptly dodges.

“i brought a customer here! this doesn’t bode well for you!” the lady looks annoyed and you can’t blame her. it is annoying to have katsura in your shop with all sorts of people looking for him all the time.

“that doesn’t mean you bring yourself too!”

you’re glad katsura didn’t get what you were trying to say. you didn’t know there already was someone else since you barely knew anything about him. you start walking away, trying to ignore the tightness in your chest.

“wait up! forget this fool! i’m nishiki and i’ll bring you the best ramen you’ve ever had!”

“the soba is much better,” katsura said only to get hit in the head. you think about slithering away and making an excuse but instead you decide to stay.

“a bowl of ramen sounds divine.”

[romana-after-dark]

Tell Me (Repost)

Dark!Miguel O'hara x fem!reader

Masterlist : Taglist

I posted this months ago and by the morning it only had like 6 likes by the morning lmfao and this was during the peak of Miguel days and I thought "wow this must be terrible" so I deleted it. However, it did well on AO3 so i decided to just report it.

Miguel tries to extract information from you via any means necessary DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

OH MY GOD DO NOT EAT IF YOU DONT LIKE DEAD DOVES

This is not like The Wrong Way where Joel alternates between horrific and soft. THIS IS JUST PLAIN DDDNE.

WARNINGS!!!!: DDDNE!!! Rape, non con, torture, verbal humiliation, degradation, forced anal, biting (fang baby), literally idk what got into me here, it's literally porn with no plot. I almost always have so much plot. Victim blaming, psychological torture, I want to reiterate its literally rape. I wanted to write for Miguel bc he's a hottie and spiderverse was amazing but lets be honest, its pretty popular on tumblr rn. However, I refuse to write without inspiration, so I won't just write something just bc it's popular. Besides, this may have gotten so far on the dark side it's not even gonna be liked XD anyway, i had genuine inspiration and I went with it. All apoligies.

700 words

*****************************

“Tell me.” Miguel O’hera grabbed your throat as you hung from the ceiling. He had been trying for hours to extract the information he wanted, using multiple forms of torture and you were exhausted, but refused to tell him what he wanted. When his hands began trailing your body, you knew the next method would be psycho-sexual.

“I’m not…” You gasp as a finger grazes over your tit. “I’m not telling you anything…”

“Hm.” was his non committal answer before cutting your ropes, watching you tumble onto the concrete. “I guess we’ll see.”

Only taking a moment to breath, you try to scramble away, but to where you aren’t sure. There’s nowhere to go, and a large man climbs on top of you hold your wrists together in on fist as his other undid his pants. You writhe underneath him, but screaming is useless.

“Get off me!” You kick and twist and scrape up your whole body that's exposed in the bra and underwear you were left hanging in, the cold floor ice against your skin. “GET OFF!”

“Oh, I’ll get off alright…” Miguel mumbles as he rips your bra off. “Tell me what I want to know, and I’ll stop.”

You weren’t sure you believed him, but you didn’t want to give up the information. Even as he strips off his pants, his insanely large frame keeps you pinned to the floor. There is no escape.

Miguel mumbles and scoffed ‘fine’ and two hands rip off your underwear, tossing the scraps aside. You scream as he pushes his fat tip into you, ripping you open slowly, slowly… allowing you to feel every inch, every vain, every hard and warm and pulsing part of him. “You can still stop this, carino.”

“No!” You whimper, deadset and determined to stay strong. You wouldn’t let him break you.

“Have it your way.” Dragging his hips back, Miguel pauses before he thrusted into you band fucks you mercilessly, you can feel the raw pain of him sliding in and out of you as you cry out, initially dry. The most humiliating part, however, came after several minutes of hm trying to coax the information out of you, slapping your face until your mouth bled, when he began laughing. “Oh my god, are you getting wet from this? So fucking pathetic.” 

Miguel looked down on you, your body wracked with pain and jolting with each thrust, he could practically feel your will breaking. “You probably enjoy this, do you play out scenarios like this with some pathetic little dicked man? Does it turn you on, knowing you have no choice? Little whore been fucked so many times she needs to feel like she’s being forced just to get wet?” His chuckle was dark and cruel as he continued to taunt you, your tears falling down your bloodied and bruised face. 

“You’re lucky I’m even touching this used up cunt.” Miguel leans over, licking at the tears and blood and spit on your face. “Tell me, and I’ll stop fucking your pussy. TELL ME!” He screams, painfully loud in your ear.

You break, telling him what he wanted. There wasn’t a part of you that really believed he’d stop, so you were surprised when he pulled out.

When he rolled you over, you began to ask. “What are you-” but are cut off by him ramming his cock up your ass. “FUCK!!!” You scream. He wasn’t lying, he did stop abusing your pussy, only to rip our asshole open.

“God, look at you…” Miquel sat back to admire his work, smirking at the way your ass contracted and spread around his thick cock. “I’d say you were made for me, but…” Chuckling, he slaps your ass. “But I can see how much you’re struggling to make room for me. No ones ever fucked you like this, have they? You should be thanking me.” Fangs dug sharply into your shoulder, drawing out more blood. “SAY THANK YOU!” Your ears rang with his screamed words, before another bite. “SAY IT!” He bit and screamed and bit and screamed until you finally cave.

“Thank you!” You sob, and he cums inside your ass with a loud, strangled groan.

Only when you shudder from the cold do you realize he’s gotten off you, his impossibly wide frame no longer covering you. Miguel tosses you a blanket, muttering something about how he may just have to keep you now.

******************

Eeeeeep well if you like it, please consider rebloging or leaving a comment!

[greatprotector-if]

Hi everyone! It's been a while and I hope you're all doing well :] I have realized that 99.99% of you are not on my personal Tumblr so I should probably update here too. Hey! Hi!

Going to start off by saying that no, The Great Protector has not been abandoned! I am still working on it!

Details under cut. A little ranty, sorry HAHA

So yes, I am still working on TGP! But no, I have nothing to show for all the months I've been gone.

Essentially the plot got way out of hand and in the end it was so messy I felt it would be faster to just start from scratch instead of trying to prune all the unnecessary parts. It was that bad.

I'm currently making my way through the new outline slowly but surely — but I know this isn't the update you all wanted. I literally have less than I had before... haha... and after all these years I completely understand that this is disappointing for all of you, and I'm really sorry about that.

I think I'll always regret putting up that initial intro post for this game as early into production as I did. While the community has been wonderful and I appreciate so much all the support I've received, it's also sort of paralyzing to have so many eyes on you, expecting great things you aren't sure you have the means of providing!

I've sort of just been too scared to work on it because I know that nothing I make could ever satisfy all of you, and then the impostor syndrome in me is telling me that means nothing I do will ever be good enough. Yeah. Brain. Funny guy, the brain.

If I had a time machine I'd go back and force past me not to post jack shit on the internet until he had at least a full chapter written and coded, but alas! Hindsight is 20/20 and all that.

But taking this time away from the blog and restarting the story from scratch has made the pressure feel a lot less intense. I really, really do appreciate everyone who's shown interest in my silly little project so far, but I will likely continue on with my break away from this blog until I have an actual demo. It makes me feel guilty to post here with my hands empty haha

I have no idea how long it will be until said actual demo is ready, but I sure hope it won't take another multiple years!

Again, I'm sorry about how this has gone. The next time I post something on this blog, it'll probably be less depressing I promise 🙌

With love,

Cassian

[riddledeep]

FOP Sideblog Update - Sept. 2024

Hi! This lovely ol' sideblog's been tidied up in light of A New Wish! I have a new AU for New Wish works. Let's talk about it!

Main blog - @fountainpenguin

My FFN - My AO3

Sideblog masterpost

Housekeeping Updates

- New avatar - @zachbrightside and I updated our FOP sonas. Tossed the headcanon'd honorary pixie hat on mine! :) Shout-out to that one kid in "School of Crock" who wore this hat with no explanation. And squared my gal's wings! Experimented with pink and purple hair options, but I like the brown too much to change.

- Fixed all broken masterpost links - Checked 3 or 4 times, so let me know if you find something wrong.

- Added things to the masterpost that weren't there (Ex: Art section)

- Combed through every post and changed the bullet point system so they're easier to read, following format update from several years ago that condensed the spacing between bulleted items.

-> As part of this, I've used indents and dashes in place of bullets in many posts. I've also added periods on otherwise blank lines to force blank space, as the blank space is another thing we lost during that format update.

-> This is so posts will look better on the dashboard. The dots may seem odd when viewed directly on the blog, but it definitely makes it easier to not lose my place while editing long posts. Also, they should be more readable now than they would be if they're reblogged to others' dashboards without this change.

- I combed through the short bios and long profiles and divided paragraphs more. There were many bulky paragraphs that have now been divided in a way that should make posts - especially these big profiles - easier to read.

-> Cleaned the "Appearances" sections of the long profiles. They used to list each 'fic that character is in, but now they have a labeled AO3 link to works written by me that include that character. Sleek, clean, and automatically updates!

- Shout-out to me having Dale Dimmadome already down as one of H.P. and Sanderson's past godkids 5+ years ago. I knew that was my headcanon, but I did not remember that was on his profile and I'm glad it was, haha... oh no. I don't know what my plan is for that in light of New Wish, but I'll figure it out.

- Changed posts that called my canon Riddleverse Classic to say Cloudlands AU, since that's the new name for my series. Left the name Riddleverse for posts that encompass multiple AUs.

-> Updated my Icebreaker post with this and other new info

- Deleted any posts tagged as "Delete later"

- I have a lot of long profiles and other posts saved to my drafts from years ago. Once Tumblr shifted to the new format (including with the queue), it became so distressing and ever-changing that I struggled a lot to find my footing.

Ex: They took away line dividers, which I thought was frustrating since I used those on my long posts and found them helpful. I was holding out hope they'd return. - Some posts (like my wing refs and the giant 20k-word class overviews) kept getting flagged if I edited them, and I was worried I'd lose my stuff or have the account deleted - Back then, the queue would only tell me which day of the week something was posting, not which month or day. It was just overwhelming to create a schedule or keep track of my stuff, so I took a break from Tumblr in general.

These days, I'm much more comfortable with the editor and my queue is now more specific about deadlines. I look forward to posting here again!

I won't be on a schedule, and the big character profiles do take a lot out of me, but my plan back in the day was to release one a month. Might be able to get to there! If not, maybe the short bios.

Future of this FOP Sideblog

- More worldbuilding posts! I let this blog sit a long time because I felt like I'd said all my worldbuilding and the only thing to do now was profiles and bios (which I was reluctant to prioritize when I felt "behind" in my 'fics).

However, I found some things I'd never moved to this blog, such as my notes on aging. I'd like to post that and others I found.

- No longer hesitant about sharing stuff for "weird" characters or OCs. I had a post about celebrity kids (Poof's age and younger) that I never posted because I didn't think anyone would care about my headcanons for Simon Sparklefield (who only appears in one obscure episode I don't count as fully canon anyway) or Billy Crystal Ball (also obscure) but... Hey, that's why you're here, isn't it? So let's talk celebrities!

In other words, I'd like to bring this blog back as the unapologetic place to share my FOP things. We have references to canon characters and talk of OCs (like Hadley, Emery, Whistle, Soren, China, Anti-Saffron, Kalysta, Iris, Idona... List goes on.)

- This blog will have more polished fanart than the doodles from my main blog

- Polished 'fic cover images will be reblogged here. By this, I mean the posts I do on my main blog that outline what to expect from a 'fic. I won't reblog my general chapter announcements; I don't want to flood this blog with those.

- 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash's cover will be reblogged, but the posts for individual trains won't be. - Existing cover images will get new, polished posts for their 'fics before I reblog them here.

- I went through the blog and added the tag "Cloudlands AU" to many posts, apart from a few I'm still hesitant to edit (or where it didn't seem worth noting). Cloudlands AU refers to my lore for the 11 seasons of the main series (i.e. including the "Oh Yeah!" shorts), and this is what my sideblog was meant for.

- The reason for this new tag is to separate it from City Lights AU: my new AO3 series for works about New Wish. These works are not compliant with Cloudlands AU, which was designed years ago.

Ex: Peri and Irep will get a short bio on this blogged tagged as City Lights AU to explain what we're setting up for their characters over there, distinct from the existing short bio for Poof and Foop in Cloudlands AU (who are very well established in their arcs). In other words, I'm not rewriting Cloudlands AU canon to fit with A New Wish, but I still want to write works for New Wish. Expect bios and art for Hazel and Dev here someday (and others).

The next thing I post will be Hadley's full character profile (now with updates that are compliant with A New Wish).

After that, I'll reblog my Cloudlands AU and City Lights AU guides to this blog so they'll be under their tags and on the masterlist.

When that's all done, I'd like to knock out full character profiles for Dale, Dev, and Hazel when I can (in addition to finishing my drafts for Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, and Foop). Long, slow process, but it would be cool to have those things done by the end of 2024 or early 2025.

Feeling decent about my idea for Hazel's birthdate. I have nice options for Dev, but no commitment until Zach and I nail down where "Operation: Birthday Takeback" goes in our New Wish timeline. Enjoying the process so far! -> Dev's b-day is QUITE the toss-up between options like "National Day of Unplugging," "Plant a Lemon Tree Day," and the absolutely golden combo of "Pizza Party & Virtual Assistants Day." And perhaps others we've not investigated!

I think that's everything! Hopefully, this is the last "blog news" announcement we have for a while, and the blog can return to being a landing spot for fanart and story meta.

As always, the sideblog's Asks are closed as I want to maintain a consistent feel for this blog. You can reach out to my main blog (Askbox here) if you want to ask a worldbuilding question.

Additionally, I'm interested in following other people's worldbuilding / AUs so I can engage more with the community, especially those passionate about FOP worldbuilding. -> I'm open to self-advertisement if you want to shoot me an Ask on my main blog telling me where I can find your work! -> I'd prefer to follow a blog that is primarily for FOP worldbuilding / art / 'fics (or subscribe to an AO3 series for FOP works), but I'm open to consideration if your blog is multi-fandom! My preference: Thoughtful takes on characters and world that dig deeper than just ship art / ship 'fics- Nothing against shipping, but I'm more interested in character analyses and worldbuilding. Bonus points for a focus on miserable children, Dale lemonade trauma, Pixies, or Timmy growing up to lose his memories and live an average human life. If you don't fit this, you can still recommend your AU and I'll check it out, but that's my wishlist :) Also, if there's anyone who makes Timmy/Molly content, you are my hero and should totally link me your work.

It's such an honor to see so many followers of this sideblog despite its long absence! To those of you interested in staying with me as we enter this next phase, thank you very much - it means a lot to me - and I hope you enjoy browsing!

And to anyone who's lost interest, thank you for spending time while you were here <3

One last note - My goal has always been to reblog others' fanart for my 'fics here, but most of them are still sitting in my drafts, unreblogged. I'll queue those up. I'm always delighted to receive gift art! Feel free to tag @riddledeep and I'll reblog it here! Same goes for gift 'fics, so don't hesitate to share!

[zorotitties]

LUFFY HAS AUTISM

From the very beginning of my time watching One Piece, I felt a deeper connection to Luffy and his behaviours, and over time, as I analyzed Luffy, I noticed a pattern in his behaviour, and it clicked to me that he may be Autistic.

In this post I will be heavily going off of the link below, since this is not a serious work made to be read by more than just some tumblr users, I will be plagiarizing from said link.

"To meet diagnostic criteria for ASD according to DSM-5, a child must have persistent deficits in each of three areas of social communication and interaction, plus at least two of four types of restricted, repetitive behaviors"

Let us go through the criteria and point out which of the criteria applies to Monkey D. Luffy.

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

Luffy has an abnormal social approach, which takes the form of inappropriate touching (touching/grabbing/poking at strangers), and 'forced' friendship (insists everyone is his friend, immediately welcomes them into his life, and even invites almost strangers to be part of his crew). He also fails to maintain back and forth conversation, often interrupting and/or hogging the conversation to talk about his interests and thoughts in particular.

He also fails to respond to social interactions, often completely ignoring when someone is talking to him or failing to follow rules, orders, and/or suggestions. His interests are limited, and he usually only talks about food (more specifically meat) and fighting. Luffy does not take hints or read between the lines; even when people tell him no or ask him not to do something, he does it anyway. Of course, said things end up being in the best interest of those people, but he still doesn't listen.

Luffy is not someone who displays "common sense" a lot, particularly when telling people things that may be hard to hear. He does not understand the concept of telling white lies or saving someone from embarrassment or hurt feelings by being polite. He is very blunt about things and does not beat around the bush. For example, when breaking the news to Tama about Ace's death, he simply told her "Ace is dead'' and that was that. He neglects to think about the fact that something so blunt and serious may be difficult for an 8 year old to process.

It's also worth noting that Luffy does not take orders from anyone, or stick to a plan, often abandoning his planned-out strategies with Trafalgar Law, and instead doing things his way; winging it and hoping everything will work out. He has repeatedly gone against Law's plans and suggestions, as well as the rest of his crew.

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

Luffy uses excessive facial expressions and non-verbal communication, which is often associated with autism (despite these criteria focusing on the opposite). He also makes excessive eye contact or none at all, often using his feet for things meant for his hands, and picks his nose even though it's deemed rude and unsanitary. He also has abnormal verbal communication, saying things that don't make sense to others (i.e thinking he was insulting Zoro by calling him 'three swords', then when Usopp pointed out that Luffy wasn't insulting him, Luffy changed his "insult" to 'four swords')

3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to the absence of interest in peers.

Luffy is incredibly good at making friends and making others feel welcomed and safe in his circle. He experiences no deficits in this area; however, as stated earlier, his means of building relationships is very abnormal and exhibits autistic behaviour. He has difficulty adjusting his behaviour to suit various social contexts, such as picking his nose, burping, slurping food, being generally ill-mannered at fancy restaurants, yet always making sure to thank the waiter/barkeep, etc. after every meal.

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history.

1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

Luffy expresses repetitive motor movements/speech, often clapping his feet together, clapping his hands, and laughing at everything even when things aren't funny. He smiles and laughs in serious/ life-threatening situations.

2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take the same route or eat the same food every day).

Luffy is insistent on eating meat every single day at every meal. While his diet is not in the least bit restrictive, he expresses the ritualistic behaviour of eating meat at every meal, every day. It's also common for Luffy to have a 'one-track mind', often only thinking about food or fighting. It is also worth noting that it's common for people with Autism to have an obsession with food.

3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed, or perseverative interests).

Luffy has only one goal, and that's to become king of the pirates. He does not ever let anything get in the way of said goal. He also has an incredibly strong attachment to his straw hat, which Shanks gave to him over 10 years ago, he is very careful with his hat, and gets very aggressive and mad when someone touches, takes, or damages his hat. Luffy also has a unique and string fascination for bugs, more specifically beetles. He has been shown to always be interested in them, pointing out different species, talking about them and naming off facts about them, and even wearing clothes with pictures of them or wearing clothes that look like them (the samurai gear from wano for example)

4. Hyper- or hypo reactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g, apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

Luffy is easily distracted and fascinated. Things like lights, bugs, smells, sounds, food, etc. all grab his attention very easily. He also has an indifference to pain and temperature, often not realizing or feeling anything until someone points it out. For example, on both drum island and punk hazard, Luffy did not feel cold until some of his crew mates pointed out that he was not properly dressed for the winter and asked if he was cold. Luffy also likes to touch just about everything he can, even things that don't belong to him. He has a keen sense of smell and has remarkable hearing (often hearing things that others don't) although that can be chalked up to the Voice of All Things.

C. Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

Luffy has experienced all symptoms from an early age, which developed further once he set off on his journey to becoming a pirate captain. He has been this way since he was a child, and he has no apparent reason for this behaviour other than it simply being how he is.

D. Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

Every symptom is shown to affect him in his day-to-day life, both positively and negatively. They cause significant impairment in social functionality. Luffy is often seen as childish and unable to function on his own without the help of his crewmates. He can not cook or navigate, two very important skills to have as a young adult, which can be attributed to a developmental delay, aka Autism. This does not mean in any way that Luffy isn't smart or capable of handling himself; this just means he isn't as independent as someone who is Neurotypical would be.

In conclusion, Luffy experiences persistent deficits in each of three areas of social communication and interaction and meets 4/4 of the criteria listed in part B, making him autistic.

[lindsay00000008]

About Me:

Call me Lindsay 💚 ✍🏻 🎨 🌿

Howdy! I’m new to posting on Tumblr! I’ve got ramblings and story snippets for ya (and art!). I mainly enjoy writing whump and fantasy OCs, but I write some fanfic too!

She/her, bi (💍➡️🤷🏻‍♂️), ‘98 (👵🏻)

Posting since March 2024 / About Me updated September 2024

Pet Whump Masterlist (in slooowww progress)

Ghost x JustAFriend/Fem!Reader

Fandoms:

Whump! The OA, Hannibal (NBC), Zelda, COD, Helldivers, JJK (only for the Suguru/Satoru discourse and also Sukuna is hot) any video game where I can use a bow and arrow or build a house, booktok

Genre interests:

Fantasy (historical, historical AU, original world, isekai)

If modern, would be an AU (omegaverse, magic, multiple worlds, post-apocalypse) OR have something interesting/dark enough to tide me over (serial killer, criminal underworld, etc)

Whump: 80% hurt, 20% comfort. But I love when they’re combined (e.g. caretaker witnesses or is even somehow responsible for the whump, or intimate whumper is comforting whumpee as they whump)

Fav authors: Diana Wynne Jones (whimsical!), C.S Lewis (fantastical!), my sister (who is my mirror and notepad!)

Interacting with me:

Writers…

✅If a post does not use character names, use the scene/prompt/dialogue/idea however you like! You can even continue a snippet in your own part 2 post or reblog (even if I end up continuing it myself). I like to see where different authors take a scene or inspiration. If you’re not sure you can hop on and continue a specific post of mine, drop a comment! Please credit or [link to post] if you’re inspired by something specific, but no biggie.

❌If a post does use character names, or is a reader x character fan fic with multiple parts, I have more of an investment and I’d like to keep those as my own.

Readers…

Most story snippets with romance/smut will be hetero but I’ll keep ramblings, whumspo, etc nonspecific

I love any kind of feedback. I especially love comments! Feel free to tag me if you think I'd like something, or send me a request! (I yearn for a stuffed ask box)

Friends…

I’m currently learning Welsh 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 (did you know theres a welsh translation of Manacled?). I have a degree in Chinese 🇨🇳 (and linguistics) as well as intermediate skill in Korean 🇰🇷 (though I’m way out of practice in those). You can message me in those languages too!

⚠️Blog Content / Trigger Warnings⚠️

General - Sexually explicit and/or violent content. 18+ MDNI.

Why do I like whump? (Link)

If there's a post you think needs an extra CW, no matter how specific, let me know!

My posts may include:

Smump (Smut + Whump in the same scene/event)

Non/dubcon (I enjoy finding reasons my characters should smash other than because they desire to (e.g. sex pollen, appease a God, break a curse, share life force, etc) May include consent given without full understanding of circumstances or identity (e.g. sex with the man who killed their father, who then tries to kill them etc)

Omegaverse (including hetero)

MF pairings, MMF pairings, MMMF... uh... etc

Breeding, choking, BDSM (the usual)

Monsters (But I’m picky. Yautja is probably my limit. Mostly humanoids.)

Religious trauma / Purity culture / Cults / Grooming (sexual or otherwise - never physical, always evil)

Pet/slave whump, systemic or just for fun, conditioning, dehumanization

Dad/Mom issues, loud men trauma, narcissism, republicans, being a general disappointment to caretakers

Medical whump & experimentation, time gaps/amnesia, seizures, drug usage, hallucination, general illness (although I’m not into bedside caretaker stories unless a whumper is still involved)

Mental illness (anxiety/adhd specifically from personal experience, ptsd, responding to triggers, flashbacks, panic attacks, dissociation, suicidal ideation (including casual), self harm impulses, etc)

Torture, gore, blood, scarring, noncon body mod or surgery, sensory deprivation, food restriction, self harm

Fantasy violence, damsels in distress, generally un-feminist tropes (lol)

Born-sexy-yesterday - magically mature bodies/minds (ex. Nymph born from a flower, magical artifact awakened to serve a master, someone was turned into a cat as a child and has just been returned to human in their twenties)

Age gap (no minors e.g. 32 y/o x 20 y/o, 500+ y/o creature x 20 y/o Human)

Death (including minors)

Content will NOT include:

Full-on willful noncon to MC, or extreme whump/maiming to MC without reason or resolution (unless done by irredeemable villains who are later violently slaughtered).

I like my MCs to have a resolution to any trauma or injury faced. I like them to be saved before the breaking point, or at least have their pain acknowledged and healed. As a writer it helps me feel in control. If I would have a hard time giving my MC a happily ever after, I'm less likely to write it that way.

Poor hygiene in combination with whump, smut, smump, or general intimacy. Like infected wounds, bodily functions etc (unless plot or worldbuilding related - e.g., where do pet whumpees take a leak?)

I'm a bit of a weeny and like my MCs healthy and clean, even if they're getting tortured :) If they throw up they will quickly get cleaned up etc

Intense description of injury to toddler, infant, fetus or very pregnant person

Pregnancy body horror and writing children suffering gives me heebie jeebies. Also, will not write pregnancy as a happy ending because it terrifies me irl lol

Minors in sexual scenes

Reminder that this does not include grooming by villains. If I did write something like that, it would be verbal or implied only and never physical (e.g. a woman raised to be the perfect, obedient wife might have some groomy backstory scenes)

Terrible note to end on. Anyway, enjoy my stuff!

[aces-spade-palace]

A story for those that need it. (TW for depression, suicide, SH, and abuse talk) Life has gotten insanely better since I was younger. When I first found Tumblr, I was a depressed, suicidal pre-teen. Tumblr actually made my life so much worse. I got into the dark side. The self harm side. I would compare myself to others and wish I could do worse. I would starve myself and now I'm paying the price for it. Now I look back and see how bad it was. At the time I had no idea half of what I was doing needed medical attention. Now I look at my scars (since I worked in healthcare for 6 years) and see that I probably should have gotten stitches for many of the things I did. I had attempted. I had wanted to end it all. That continued through high school and into adult hood. I had wanted to end it so many times. I thought I hated my parents when they were trying to do the best for me. I screamed and cried myself to sleep most nights because I just hated being here. I had 7 therapists in 5 years. One trip to the psych ward. I have been in abusive relationships and friendships. Lied to and cheated on. I made terrible decisions that could have killed me and I didn't give a damn. Up until a few years ago, I had thought I would be better off dead. I was also close-minded. I was an asshole and genuinely just a terrible person. Now, I'm 25. I found that I am an agender, queer being who enjoys pole dancing and theatre. I also was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. I am getting married in just a few months. I am working job that I make 50k in without a college degree. I have three cats and we are going to start looking to buy a house after we get married. I am genuinely happy and content with my life. I learned to love myself. Yes, I have my days where I look in the mirror and get dysphoric, I get insecure, but more often that not anymore, I am starting to love myself again. It takes time. A lot of it, but at the end, it is really worth it. YOU do have to put in the work, even if you don't want to, even if you're being forced to, but I promise you that life can be so so worth it. I lived my dream job. I moved out from my parents house and our relationship got better. People have told me they look up to me and that they are proud of me. Yes, boundaries had to be set, my heart had to break on multiple occasions, and I got hurt countless times, but that is a part of healing. The hardest part of it all is doing the things you have to do for yourself. Cutting ties with the people who are genuinely causing you harm, with the things causing you harm, even if you don't realize it. You might feel like you're being selfish, taking care of yourself, but that's because you haven't done that yet. And when I say taking care of yourself, I don't mean go live in the woods in a cabin and hibernate. I mean confronting what is causing you harm. Taking care of your body and mind. Have the difficult conversations, and actually taking steps to improve your wellbeing. No I don't post this to brag, I post it to show that life can change for the better, and it is possible. It just takes work. You got this. My situation is not like everyone else's and I know that. But it is possible to get better, and if no one reads this, that's okay. If only one person reads this and realizes that life can get better, I would be ecstatic. I just want you to know that it is okay to not be okay, and this feeling is temporary. You can do this, and I believe in you. Stay Safe, Stay beautiful, Stay Handsome, Stay Wonderful, and be the best version of you that you can be. You are loved and you are cared for. If you need anything, reach out. I'll be here, and if im not, someone will be here for you.

[illuminatedquill]

Finally finished up my Clone Wars re-watch and will shortly begin Rebels. Super excited to dive back in with the Ghost Crew.

Hopefully might get some fics going set in that era for Sabine and Ezra once I get a fresh look at how they started . . .

Anyway, in the meantime here are some stuff I’m working on:

Sabine Wren x Ahsoka Tano

His Life in Your Hands

Story Summary: In the early days of her Jedi training, Sabine struggles using Ezra’s lightsaber. Ahsoka comes to realize why - and recognizes the danger it represents to her Padawan’s future as a Jedi.

And then the next two fics which are two parts of the same story; each part featuring multiple chapters. I'm debating whether to do my usual thing and just post it on Tumblr or dust off my old AO3 account since each part will be multiple chapters.

Anyway, I'm excited about this story since it features a character from Ahsoka I've been wanting to write for: Shin Hati. Having her interact with Ezra and Sabine is fun - well, for me, maybe not so much for them.

Ezra Bridger x Shin Hati

Two Wolves

Story Summary: Jedi Knight Ezra Bridger is forced into an uneasy alliance with the enigmatic and dangerous Shin Hati for a mission of crucial importance: breaking into an abandoned Imperial research station to search for a mysterious item called "The Codex". What lies within the walls of the derelict station, however, will test these two beyond their limits and force them to work together . . . or perish at the hands of an old enemy who knows them all too well.

And then the follow-up:

Sabine Wren x Shin Hati

The Wolf and The Starbird

Story Summary: Following the events of Two Wolves, Jedi Knight Sabine Wren must partner with Shin Hati to save the galaxy from an unleashed darkness threatening to destroy everything she holds dear. And for both of them, an impossible choice draws near - one that will require sacrifice beyond either have ever known.

See you all down the road . . .

[niuniente]

Catching up on tumblr and read your post about Sergei Dragunov's message of survival! May I ask what other characters from any fandoms are also acting as messengers for you?

There are so, so many from the past almost 20 years when I started to do this and connect the dots! Some of the characters are still questions marks with their messages but it's part of the fun to patiently figure them out - and, if there's none, then there's none and that's okay.

I'm going to introduce a few ones only so this list won't get too long.

Dante (Devil May Cry) Dante represents a time of transition, when the old isn't here anymore but the new hasn't arrived yet either. This is because he himself is a half-devil, half-human and thus doesn't really belong to either side. This transition is pretty much always something which takes me from old to new in a way that there's no returning back to the old. It's always a positive transition. For example, I started to see him around a lot before a surgery I didn't know I needed but which improved my life's quality afterwards. And, also, 5 months before I knew I was going to apply for a school and get accepted in.

Vergil (Devil May Cry) Vergil is a sort of a newcomer who very rarely appears. His message is a total transformation where the old completely dies and a new phase begins. Like the Phoenix. Where his brother Dante predicts a transformation in some field, Vergil predicts full scale transformation, which is inevitable. Multiple things will change at the same time but this purging is necessary and beneficial.

Hwoarang (Tekken) Hwoarang was a very close "guide" when I was younger. His message is that keep your eyes on the price/goal but don't force it as higher forces are at play, too. Stay humble to know when to step back but don't let the inner fire for your goal and ambitions disappear. The moment of pause is only a moment of pause. This is because Hwoarang goes after whatever the hell he wants, even breaking rules and law, but bring in his master Baek (the higher force) and he immediately knows his place.

Reno (Final Fantasy VII) Reno used to be around a lot more when I was in my twenties, worried about my career and work life. He sometimes appears to kick my ass but I'm happy I need his services a lot less now lol. This is because Reno's message is confidence as you are in a work environment. And ONLY in the work environment! Doesn't matter how you look like, doesn't matter how you are. Just be yourself. You will succeed and find the people who appreciate what you have got to give to your work field. This is Reno's message because despite his attitude, looks and the way he "violates" the workplace dress code, he is still 2nd in command right after his boss.

Daiki Aomine (Kuroko no Basket) Aomine is bold, 100% confidence with no hesitation, because the only one who can beat Aomine is Aomine himself - according to him. So, why do you stand on your own way, trip your on feet and give up? No one can beat you but you - go for it! Know your worth and give credit to your talents.

Grimmjow (Bleach) Grimmjow is titled as The King in Bleach so he represents ultimate rule over your own life and your own actions. You do you and don't give a shit what others want from you or what they think about you. His message isn't aimed to anything particular but it's more of a call to embody that self-sufficient regal energy, where anyone who crosses your path and says "No you can't" is nothing but a whining bastard. His the "Take No Shit" part from the motto Do No Harm, Take No Shit.

Sergei Dargunov (Tekken) Adding Dragunov here, too, if someone missed the original post. Dragunov represents (and predicts) ultimate survival in an extreme environment where my future - from a logical point of view - is heavily threatened. Like, to that degree that IF things don't work out (soon!), I will not survive. Keep your calm, keep your emotions in check as there's no need to panic, even if the world around you was on fire. The fire will not catch you. This is because when I think about Dragunov, I feel that he will survive anything. Drop an atom bomb over him and he probably just walks away from it with some dust on him, unharmed. Then, he goes to mind his own business and assemble his pink toy tanks. I think that such a notion is a small extra; have some sense of humor, even when the world burns. There are still nice things out there to enjoy of right now.

I'm currently trying to figure out Jessica Rabbit and Fran from FFXII, who has been my faves for a really long time. Most of the guides are men because I'm naturally more comfortable and at ease in masculine energy (a psychic once noted that my energy is, at the moment, more aligned with the divine masculine - one of my current lessons is to turn that to the divine feminine, which is extremely strong on my astrological chart. I just haven't been able to tap into it yet but I'm getting there!)

[fearingthefearsome]

𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖉𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖉𝖙 𝕾𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔

─•~𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ~•─  - The main masterlist with all my collections

𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃'𝓈 𝒫𝓇𝒾𝓂𝑜𝑔𝑒𝓂𝓈 - Genshin Impact masterlist

Greetings 𝓭𝓻𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼, I have come back to the land of the living. I'm currently testing out a few new styles to my writing and my tumblr posts. Apologies in advance for the constant editing to my blogs and thank you everyone for you patience! In this archive, we introduce our lovely Reader as a new addition to the gameplay as an interactable NPC. Each one will feature someone from each region to be their beloved spouse or lover or a dear friend of theirs. Other than that, I hope you all enjoy reading the archive's newest post.

P.S. If ever my dearest 𝓭𝓻𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼 have any request they would love to be featured in the archives, I am open to receiving your ideas! Rules of these requests will be posted in the pinned post of my profile with that, I hope you all enjoy the the post.

Character Info

It was quite a shock when Genshin Impact introduces a new character. Especially someone whose origin is from Mondstadt. They introduce us to the new character, who is also part of the Knights of Favonious. They are the Second Chief Alchemist, known as Reader, and are usually the one who has to take care of the paperwork Albedo is not obligated to submit. Not that they can force him. They managed to get someone to take over the task their Chief Alchemist does not want to do. But our new alchemist is hiding more about herself than what the lore of Genshin perceives. 

However the most surprising fact that fans cannot believe is that our new character is the wife of Diluc Ragnvindr. The person who we meet during Diluc’s Second Character Story Quest that will be introduced alongside the current rerun banners. She is known to be quite blunt and cruel to the common folk. But the Knights of Favonious respect her position and the works she contributes to help the city. She often works in her office in the Headquarters and in some instances, she travels to Dragonspine to check on Albedo and to conduct her own dangerous experiments. Her story tells us more about the hidden mysteries of Teyvat, especially when you interact with her. 

More about Character: Conclusion

“I feel it again. The pain that Istaroth brought to me. It brings back the memories I once lost and the unwavering feeling of betrayal she sunk into my heart. I will never forget that day. The divinity she shared with me, it consumes my soul and it breaks my body. I don't think I can control myself one day. If ever I go too far, just know you may kill me. I will always come back to the mortal plane. Something I dream to escape from.” 

First Meeting

There are certain requirements to access Diluc’s Second Story Quest. One of which is Albedo’s story quest to unlock Dragonspine. It starts off with a commission request from the Acting Grand Master. 

Traveler gets to know you when they finish another daily commission. The quest is triggered once you receive the rewards from Katheryne. They trigger a conversation from Katheryne who informs them that Acting Grand Master Jean requests their assistance. As soon as you arrive at the Headquarters, you converse with Jean who requests your help to locate Master Diluc. Apparently there was a physical dispute that the Knights had to break regarding the Wine merchants from Fontaine. Lisa and Kaeya come in to inform Jean that the last sighting of Diluc was that he was on his way to Dragonspine. When Traveler accepts the commission, they are accompanied by the two, surprisingly, and is quite suspicious of the innocent smile Lisa sent their way.

As they travel up along Dragonspine, they go through multiple challenges on the way. That’s when they unexpectedly bump into Diluc who is also on his way up the mountain. 

“Master Diluc! Just the person we need.” Lisa purrs as she summons her book to flick a bolt of lightning to the cryo slimes surrounding the redhead. Diluc slashes the frosty monsters, trying to crowd them around. Traveler lends a hand by crowding them together with their anemo powers before Diluc deals a heavy blow of pyro in his claymore. Effectively killing all the cute slimes and stopping them from bothering them now.  

“We have been looking for you,Master Diluc.” Kaeya says, keeping his sword away since the fight is over. Diluc huffs at his comment but chooses to quickly spot a nearby campfire to light it. “You’re quite the wanted man.”

“I’m not sure what you mean by that, Captain Kaeya.” He rests his claymore on the ground as he gestures for the group to huddle around the newly-lit campfire. He blows a breath into his gloved palms as he lets the warmth sink into his skin. “I’m merely on my way to fetch my wife.”

Hold up- wait a minute.

“WIFE?!” Paimon screams in disbelief while Traveler blinks in surprise. “Master Diluc, you’re married?” The only answer Traveler gets is a small chuckle from Lisa who confirms it with a growing grin. Kaeya on the other hand is baffled beyond comparison. He splutters in confusion before settling on a very confused but devastating expression. “You’re married?” He whispers in utter disbelief and just a little, just a little bit of betrayal settles beneath his tone. 

Diluc sighs and looks away with an irritated face,  a faint hint of blush dusting his skin. “Yes.” He says admittedly with an exasperated but fond tone. Paimon stares at Diluc in disbelief before stuttering out questions regarding his relationship. They spend a few minutes by the campfire as they try to wait out the increasing wind currents of the snowy peaks. By the time they were moving, Paimon was still pestering Diluc about his marriage and Traveler couldn’t help but let it be. Even they were curious about their friend’s relationship that even no one else knew. 

“Wait… Your wife is in Dragonspine?” 

“That is the workplace of an Alchemist.”

“Alchemist?!”

It wasn’t until a literal earthquake shook the mountain core that they stopped their little interrogation. The group, alert and prepared for an attack, try to find the origin of the earthquake. That’s when a ruin guard lands before them with a heavy impact that sweeps them off their feet. Diluc quickly gets up on his feet and rushes towards the Ruin Guard preparing to shoot a few missiles their way.

But a bolt of lightning descends from above, followed by a figure that pierces through the Ruin Guard’s arm. Traveler uses that distraction to throw their sword at the Ruin Guard before it is knocked off with a high-pitched ring and lands on the snow.  A deep but authoritative tone screams through the blizzard winds that could have embedded fear in their hearts. “ Don’t touch my- EXPERIMENT!” The crackle of lightning had them stepping back as the immense power had the hairs on their arms standing in attention of the danger. A hiss of lightning bolted through the arms before a white spear drove itself through the Ruin Guard’s power core. 

“How annoying.” The figure was a woman. She was tall and proud in her stance. She took out her spear with wires that clung to the white metal of her weapon. With a twirl of her spear, she drives the blunt end of the weapon through the Ruin Guard for good measure. She whips her head to meet the group and she strides onwards towards them. Her tone was forced and furious beneath her tongue. Her jaw was grit tight and a small sneer made its way on her face. 

“What’s troubling you, dear.” Diluc puts away his claymore as his wife huffs away irritated. She also puts away her weapon and sighs exasperated. “The amount of paperwork that is.” She snarkily replies as she comes forward to the quartet still gaping at her in awe and disbelief. Adjusting her coat and her gloves, she reaches a hand out to the traveler. 

“Nice to meet you, Traveler. I suppose you’ve been dragged along to retrieve my husband, yes?"

Interactable on the Map

After finishing Diluc’s Second Story Quest, a hidden mechanic that people overlook is that you can talk to Reader. As mentioned before, you can catch a glimpse of her in the newly open second floor of the Headquarters inside her office or on her camping spot at the top of Dragonspine. Interacting with her the first time will give you 10 intertwined fates. 

“Thank you for helping my husband, Traveler. I know he gave you compensation for the trouble but I’m also giving you my part of the compensation. Think of it as a package deal from us.”

Afterwards, she gives you one extra commission every week worth 60 primogems. And when you visit her after completing that new commission, she sometimes may talk to you, other times she stays silent. 

“How do I know so much about the gods? Well… I’m a high priestess. I used to serve Istaroth, even long before Khanre’iah fell. I lived for so long, even longer than the Archons but even immortality has its downsides. Watching so many people perish before myself was harder than acknowledging the blood soaking my hands.” — Reader, Alchemy Office of the Knights of Favonius Headquarters 

“Your sister? Hm… I’m unsure. I’ve never met her nor have I heard of an, “Abyss Princess.” However I can give you words of advice, Traveler. Whatever you are seeking, it’s already garnered their attention. Be wary of the people, Traveler. They’re hiding, hoping to catch you off guard.” — Reader, Dragonspine

[titleknown]

A Couple of Essays I Did On Artists' Rights And AI Art

So, I'm gonna be posting a couple of essays I did on Pillowfort on AI art and the talk about datasets, the second one having been written a couple of weeks after the first.

Long story short, while I'm sympathetic to traditional artists' concerns about the dataset issue, as a copyright minimalist I'm also scared about how much they're parroting copyright-maximalist rhetoric in a way that's taking some dangerous routes to be used as tools for big Copyright to further increase its death-grip on culture, and maybe we should use this occasion re-examine the way we think about copyright and how we handle the idea of the moral rights of the artist in light of this issue.

Long story long... well, that's why I'm putting it past the break:

On AI Art Datasets, Copyright and "Theft"

...On the AI art issue, I will confess as someone who's cared about how bloated and awful copyright law is for years, it genuinely disturbs me that everyone's talking about the dataset for... well, really most AI art as an act of deliberate theft, when the reality is significantly more complicated, and the conception of it as theft feels like it's pushing people down a dangerous path they're not entirely aware of.

The thing is, the LAION dataset, which everyone refers to, is basically an attempt to crawl the entire internet for basically everything that has alt-text and sort it by how well the alt text matches up with the images. That's it. It's literally like a search engine crawler with the intention of "map the internet" rather than "find art".

And it is very; very dumb and brute force. That's how it ended up going through medical records, not any sinister intent, but because it's so stupid it looks for anything public with alt-text.

You can and probably should take issue with that, because it indicates failures to anticipate this on LAION's part and massive security failures on the part of those holding the data (And really this whole issue is more about data privacy than copyright) but it's not an issue of their intent being bad; it's an issue of the failure to account for that factor.

Another thing, it is actually very bad at categorizing artists by name. Like, through my multiple checks in the "Have I Been Trained" site; unless you're a big name professional artist, it almost definitely will not catalogue you by name.

If someone's looking to use your name in a prompt to avoid commissioning you, they are fools swindling themselves, and you should disabuse those cretins of their illusions, if only to discourage that behavior.

That's not to say I haven't run into the works of smaller artists I know (Who I've informed when I have, for the record), it's just that for better or for worse their work is genericized...

....Tho if you run into any works from artists you know in a dataset search, you should probably tell them, just so they're informed and can have it removed if they want.

And, following from that, for clarity's sake, even if you are informed, I don't think it's invalid to be scared of the potential impacts of AI art and the issue of data privacy (Which issues with the dataset are, as Tangibletechromancy talks about). In fact, I did see a post on Pillowfort expressing those sentiments that was relatively understandable. 

And it's not like there's no issue with the way they draw from the commons. As I've talked about before on my Tumblr, it's abhorrent that certain models draw from the commons but then make their models closed source and put them behind a paywall. Because it's taking from the commons and giving nothing back. 

Hell, the only reason I'm able to find other artists' art and inform them so they can have it taken out of the dataset is because Stablediffusion at least makes its model Open Source and its dataset publicly visible, both of which I think should be required for anything that uses that public data scraping. 

And it sucks that Midjourney and OpenAI are getting a lot less scrutiny than Stablediffusion when SD is arguably the one doing it the most correctly (Though I have heard MJ plans to eventually make itself Open Source, which, we'll see), and the former two ought to be looked at with a lot more skepticism...

...But my point is, it's less of an issue of deliberate theft and more Google Maps finding that one house of Barbra Streisand's she didn't want found. It's a survey of the commons of the internet trying to get as wide a picture as possible, for a set of "rules" as to what images look like (Note the AI model stores none of the actual images) and the conception of that as "theft" is what disturbs me.

Because, the idea that that 1/600,000,000th of a random image might end up influencing another's work without authorization relies on the idea of any derivative works as theft. 

With that 1/600,000,000th it takes less direct inspiration than an artist doing a pastiche or; arguably; even drawing from common experience would; even accounting for the other factors influencing it in an artist's mind because; hey; the AI has that too; as this post from friend of the blog Tangibletechromancy talks about.

It's an alien form of such compared to humans, but it is a form of that, because the dataset is big and dumb and anyone who's worked with stuff like Stablediffusion knows it reflects how dumb that sort of learning is.

And criminalizing that would definitely have knock-on effects, as this post by Trent Troop points out. Disney doesn't want to outlaw AI art; it has enough of a treasure hoard of works which it owns the copyright to to train its own. It wants an AI only it can use while drawing from copyrighted works, while copyright walls off access to it to everyone else. 

And it disturbs me so, so much that a lot of people against this are fanartists not knowing the precedent this could set; or hell; even the fact that the guy who started the train rolling on this moral panic; RJ Palmer; got his start doing Pokemon fanart, because the legal precedent that criminalizes this could very easily criminalize that too.

And, on a personal level, I have heard that argument well before that people should "stop stealing and Be Original," by people who... basically want to criminalize the concept of derivative works in general. People who believe that copyright should be perpetual, despite the concept of copyright as anything other than a temporary legal protection being very; very young from a historical perspective.

Like, you would not believe the shit I have seen. I have seen my producing teacher in college, who's most prominent producing credit was one of the worst modern horror remakes, argue that copyright should be perpetual in a metaphor comparing art to a family gas station. I have seen one person argue that the concept of derivative works itself should be outlawed to prevent them from diluting the original author's intent.

That person ended up rallying most of the other folks on a Discord server against me and driving me off of there. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

And I see that pattern in AI art, the animating sentiment that "derivative works are theft," with the same old "But it's different this time" framework laid over it. And believe me, I have seen enough "It's different this time" sentiments to be deeply skeptical of "but it's different this time."

In fact, that is why I'm scared in a way that motivates me to post this, because upon seeing anti-AI-art arguments going on like in the comments of this one post by the Staff of Pillowfort, I'm like, "oh god, I've heard this before," and where I've heard it before ain't good.

I see people trying to make the treatment of AI art akin to the way the RIAA treats music, despite the fact that that would be a horrible idea as this post points out, and people talking about wanting Disney to "save them" from AI art even though; again; Disney's more likely goal would be to use their own in-house trained AI to cut jobs while preventing anyone else from using it.

And I am deeply demoralized by the fact that over the time I've cared about it, from a perspective of material change this issue of fighting back against the bloat of copyright maximalism has basically never gotten any better (beyond the "Luigi wins by doing nothing" concession of stuff finally being allowed to go into the public domain very slowly in the US), and is very likely to get even worse

I have been angry for years that there's been no real legislative efforts to; say; decrease copyright duration or expand fair use, and now I'm living to likely see fair use shrunk even more. I will curse RJ Palmer's name until the day I die for single-handedly sparking this moral panic and basically undoing decades of work by copyright minimalists to kill the copyright cop in people's heads over a matter of months.

I come to my positions on AI art from years of being angry about copyright bloat and seeing the same patterns in the idea of it as "theft" as I do on people who were defending our current copyright nightmare before this, and I wish more people would push back on that. 

And if you have concerns about AI art and want to shape it right, I will point out, we have a Discord server...

Thoughts on AI Art and Moral Rights

I had some Thoughts wrt the debate on moral rights with regards to AI art datasets that I figured I might as well share with y'all, because I think the issues raised are more complicated than a lot of people say, and not in the ways y'all might think.

Like, it's a common talking point in the pro-AI-art circles that, even if the fair use defense were cracked down on, big megacorps that own huge swaths of images; such as Disney, Warner, ect, could still use the images they legally own; without the permission of their creators; to train their own AIs.

Which could, of course, lead to the same nightmare job loss scenarios that folks are talking about; again using artists' works to replace them without their permission, except the tools are behind a corporate wall and with no copyright ambiguity because; again; they own the images wholesale.

I've in fact heard it argued that; with the whole attempts by anti-AI-art people to join with Big Copyright's astroturf organization to expand copyright, that's what Disney wants, more crackdowns on copyright so they can use their own AI and you can't.

So, it's not a case of respecting artists' rights or don't. It's a case of whether everyone gets to use this tech at full power, or only Disney/Warner/et al are able to use it while the public gets a significantly weaker version trained on Wikimedia et-al.

The artists' rights; as articulated by those who are against AI art; are already fucked either way. Which, I am not saying as a gotcha. 

Rather because, while I know which of those two options I'd prefer,I sympathize with the fact that it fucking suuuuuucks for those creators who care about the moral rights of artists, and I want to examine institutionally why things are like that.

To start, a question: Why; beyond the legal reasons; is it okay for monopolists like Disney to violate creators' rights to control their work in that way; but not for wider-scale open-source projects like StableDiffusion to?

Some would say that it's because the megacorps pay and ask them. But, those often also end up as theft far more egregious than image synthesis programs do.

We all know the way that Spotify's "royalties" pay only pennies to creators and most of the actual profit to Spotify and the record labels that own the music themselves. Some even predict that that's how a license for using one's images in AI would go, which I think should give you pause.

And, we all know those stories of Marvel artists and writers wasting away in poverty and disease in their old age while Disney makes billions of the MCU and doesn't give them a dime. Totally legally allowable, they did get paid a pittance, once, but the billons more they never saw a dime of makes the difference in money not given to artists between them and the AI's unauthorized use more or less academic if we're going by sheer proportion.

One could argue it was even worse in the long-run, because AI's use doesn't technically force the subject's art behind a copyright wall and prevent the original user from using it, whereas the copyright landlords do, but that's probably it's own debate I can't get into at the time.

My point is, what the megacorps do is just as much theft if not moreso than what image synthesis training does, and the thin veneer of payment only obfuscates the vast degree of theft they do, which they only get away with because of how thoroughly it has been normalized.

And that's even before we get into the fact that it's hard to say you "consented" to it when your choices were "have the thing not exist and starve on the street" or "give us total control over what you create/"

But then, the natural answer of course you'll probably say after that to my first question (Why is it okay if Disney trains on my work without consent but it isn't for SD) is, of course, that it isn't.

But then, if you think of it purely in terms of copyright law (ignoring the fair use arguments for datasets), there should be no problem with what Disney does. They were "given" the copyrights fair and square, in the same way you would "give" a mafioso protection, but it was still fully sanctioned by the copyright system.

And yet, in a moral sense, there is. And, I think an important idea to articulate why this is a problem is the idea of moral rights.

The concept of "moral rights" in art is one that I don't see talked about much directly. Long story short, it is the idea that the artist has the rights to not have their work mangled and to be credited. Notably, it is considered a separate right from copyrights, non fungible in the way those are.

Note also that, it does not legally exist as a concept in the US, at least not to the significant degrees it does in other nations. But, I've noticed that the way a lot of people talk about copyright basically conflates the two. 

Which makes me wonder how much this debate comes from a US-based perspective, but I digress.

Like, a lot of the dialogue I've heard on why copyright is sacred; and especially from those who think it should be perpetual, isn't just about economic fears, but about the fear of your work being messed with and warped by those who don't understand it. 

They see copyright as the end-all be-all when it comes to protections for moral rights, because of how interchangable the two concepts have been made in the public dialogue. Copyrights require authorization from the holder to work with, they place the mark of their creator upon them, therefore they are thought of as valid insurance of those.

But, the point I'm leading to is this viewpoint doesn't really work. Because copyright on its own is a godawful protector of moral rights.

Like, the problem with copyright as a protector of moral rights is, it depends on a landlord model of security, IE the idea that individual ownership of "property" (even intellectual property( rather than collective protections will keep you safe. 

The trouble is, as Cory Doctorow has pointed out with regards to regular landlords, not only does that sort of commodification create a grotesque incentive to make things harder for those who don't have it (Such as, say, small creators with new ideas crowded out by legacy IP), but in the end power always gets consolidated under that system under the big guys.

Lucas sold his creation to Disney, Eastman and Laird sold theirs to Viacom. The fungibility of copyright; the ability of it to be bought and sold on the market, makes it a terrible means of protecting moral rights if you have to sell it to make a living, because once it belongs to a megacorp, they can do whatever they want with it, and that consolidation makes it harder for artists like you to show up.

In the case of collaborative works done under big megacorps, it's even worse because you have to give away those rights from day one to allow it to even exist. Look at what happened to creators under the whole HBO Max purge, copyright did nothing to prevent their work from being erased.Copyright did not do a thing to protect their moral rights.

Even in the case of estates, Doctor Seuss would be rolling in his goddamn grave at the Ilumination Lorax, and I'm pretty sure you can faintly hear Tolkien clawing his way out of the earth at Rings of Power being made by Jeff "Sauruman" Bezos.Copyright did not protect their works from desecration.

But the way we conflate moral rights with copyright in the conversation is very useful for those IP hoarders who want to expand their grip over the collective creative commons. It creates a broad base of public support amongst working creators for these copyright power grabs even if, as Doctorow mentions, it only benefits the top players due to their ability to buy everyone out and use their monopoly power to squeeze smaller creators further.

In fact, to bring it full circle, that's why I talked so much about why we need to push back against the idea of "theft" in datasets. Because the rhetoric of "theft," only makes coherent sense through a copyright lends, because how different piracy or derivative works actually are from; say; physical theft. 

There's a reason why "You wouldn't download a car" is a widely mocked concept. And I think that the accusations of theft are doing that exact same work of conflating moral rights for the artists to control their work to copyright, and as I have stated before, that is a very dangerous game.

This is why, I think, those of us concerned about moral rights need to start imagining means of protecting moral rights beyond and in place of copyright, because the conflation of them with copyright not only is ineffective, but also leads to those massive power grabs that undermine moral rights via monopolies. 

And, when you think of moral rights beyond the lens of copyright, it opens up far; far more avenues of thought to you.

Like, for example on AI art, the idea I've heard to focus on image scraping as a data privacy issue and not as a copyright one, because as a friend said the copyright angle is the least concerning use of scraped data for machine learning TBH. 

Or, to encourage practices such as Are We Art Yet's rules of ethics, which I think is deeply useful as a framework for engagement, and any AI art community should adopt them or something similar...

...Tho, thinking about it, a lot of the fears with regards to AI art and moral rights relate to Pillowfort user osteophage talking about how Tumblr; and to an even greater extent other social media sites like Twitter I'd assert; undermines community and the process of building communal norms, and how a lot of the fear is regarding to the breaking of communal norms in ways that'd devastate the commission/small artist economy.

Though that's its own ramble, which a friend of mine has sorta-addressed, but which I do want to give my own two cents on in the future.

Point is, I think the issues raised with regards to rights via AI datasets raise much deeper; more long-term questions regarding the nature of moral rights and the way they've been co-opted by copyright monopolists, and I urge you to direct your thoughts to those questions and what answers you might have for them.

If only because it will allow you to act much more wisely upon this topic rather than being lead around by the nose by copyright monopolists on it...

[ellie-the-oracle]

"The Solitary Clone" is a Masterpiece **MASSIVE SPOILERS!** Episode 3 Discussion PART 1

Today's episode of The Bad Batch was truly a work of art. I wanted to discuss just how well executed of an episode it was, especially because this is my shit as an English major. I love the tragedy and the multiple levels of symbolism in literature. This will be divided into two parts because for some reason, Tumblr isn’t letting me post it in one :/ Okay, first and foremost, they did an excellent job in setting the tone for this episode. From the way that it opened with Crosshair waking up in his drab and dimly lit room (a nice call back to Kallus from Rebels), to him going to eat with other clones that end up leaving when he sits with them, and even when he is called to Ramparts office. Right off the bat, the viewers are immersed in what Crosshair is feeling and thinking. He is very much alone, isolated and conflicted (more on this later). I also wanted to note the importance of the scene were the two clones are discussing the Defence Recruitment bill that would effectively see clones filtered out and replaced by citizens (I'll reference this later on too). When Crosshair goes to speak with Rampart, immediately I'm heartbroken to hear how long he was stranded on Kamino (32 rotations...wtf). Moreover, the way I see it, Rampart is a representative (literally and metaphorically) of the Empires value or lack thereof. His blatant disregard and disrespect to Crosshair, and in turn soldiers in general, could be the breaking point for Cross if this treatment continues (which I'm guessing it will).  The way I understand and interpret it, Crosshair is confused and conflicted about everything. He remains with the Empire because it's easy and because it's the only life he's ever known. Leaving that life behind and deserting it means that he must face himself in order to understand 1) who he is, 2) what he wants and 3) what/who he cares about. He isn't at that stage of his story...yet. But we as the viewers are slowly but surely seeing his resolve begin to break through these interactions and experiences (discussed above). Now, the scene with Crosshair and Cody. Everyone has already analyzed this to death but I'll just reiterate it. Cody and Crosshair meet in front of the clone memorial and they have a brief conversation before going on their mission. This scene is great because we see them testing each other in this conversation and seeing where they stand/how they feel about everything that's happened and is happening. Cody, obviously, is further along in his realizations than Crosshair is. We see this through the ways that Cody looks at the memorial and Crosshair respectively. He is uncertain, sad and also very confused. The scene where Cody mentions the uncertainty of the clones as well as how more and more of them (including the bad batch) are going awol is great. As I mentioned above, this is Cody testing the waters with Crosshair to see where he stands in all this. And when Cross responds by saying that "they are traitors just like the Jedi," it is fantastic because the tension only increases. Cody is visibly distraught by this (probably because he is remembering what he was forced to do) and falls back onto the "good soldiers follow orders." Well played Filoni et al.

[davidmariottecomics]

The New Year (2023)!

Hi there and happy new year! 

I'm back after a short break for the holidays! As of writing, I've been maintaining my blog on my own website for over a year. I've grown that blog by extending it out to a newsletter and a Tumblr. Happy anniversary to the blog and let's get to it! This one's going to be pretty personal and then next week I'll get back to talking about comics, storytelling, the not-so-secret life of an editor, and pressing issues of social and societal import! 

Being self-reflective, the transition from one year to another is a complicated time. It is the period when what has been and what could be really collide and force one to define what is. 

I tried to get out of a little bit of that by posting a whole week into the year, but honestly, that feeling's still coming for me. Professionally and creatively, that transition feels like a bit of a metamorphosis as I transition from what I've been doing to what I hope to do. While there are plenty of constants being maintained, things like Sonic which I've now been working on for 5 years (and which will soon have been releasing for 5 years), I've also recently said goodbye to Transformers and hello to Godzilla as an editor. This time last year, the last issue of TF Wreckers was about to be released and I knew I had at least a little bit of other writing work in the hopper. This time this year, I don't have any releases currently scheduled, and yet, I'm hoping/already in some ways planning for this year to have my highest writing output yet. I am a writer and an editor and I want both sides to feel equally nurtured. 

For a long time, I haven't really made resolutions with the new year. Not because I feel the distinction of years is arbitrary or I don't believe I'll stick to them or anything.More, the goals I was already setting for myself existed outside the scope of the year change and so it wouldn't feel genuine to call them resolutions when they were pre-existing. And this year, for the first time, I have some. I'm not going to share them in full--a few people close to me know, but they're personal and outside the scope of the transparency I usually try to provide. But it's an interesting feeling having some "resolutions" and, like so many people, at least right now, they're energizing me even when other things aren't. 

The other part of the new year, of course, is reflecting on the previous year. What you did, what you enjoyed, the moments big and small and that seemed so important, but were quickly forgotten. Fortunately, through the blessing of a blog, here's some of the stuff that I was reminded I did proudly in 2022.

I got engaged to Rebecca Ann. They're my best friend and favorite person and I love them. 

I launched a website and a blog that posted *nearly* weekly and made a few sales. 

I went to WonderCon, Tucson Comic-Con, San Diego Comic-Con, and a ton of smaller events around CA. 

I released multiple Transformers comics that I wrote, including finally getting to contribute to Beast Wars, a lifelong dream. 

I saw my sister graduate high school. 

I made some weird little drawings and comics for myself, many of them posted here. 

I wrote more than I probably ever have, though there's plenty of it that'll likely never see the light of day. 

I ended up in the top 0.1% of Lizzo listeners on Spotify for the second year in a row. I don't know that this is actually as momentous an accomplishment as some of these other things, but it is funny. 

I somehow managed to do a little bit of traveling, spent a lot of time with family, and had some very rough moments in crowded places without getting sick. 

I saw Transformers to it's end with some of the best TF books of all time. 

I hit a milestone issue, #50, with Sonic and then kept going and have a lot more to come. 

I made progress on various other deals and titles that you'll be finding out more about from IDW in the weeks and months to come. 

I met various other professional goals in creating comics I'm proud of and working with some of the greatest creators ever to practice the craft. 

I was a good cat dad. 

I made new friends. 

I tried really, really hard to find a balance that works for me between work and life and the ways that so many of my interests and hobbies overlap with my job. I'm not sure I've quite got it down just yet, but I'm getting there. 

I also, liked a ton of stuff! So, if you're maybe new here for one reason or another, here's your chance to get an idea of what sort of stuff I like and if you like it too, maybe we can talk. 

What I enjoyed last year (not a comprehensive list, but a lot of it):  Blank Check (Podcast), Smallville (TV show), Special by Lizzo (Album), Bar Rescue (TV show), Chainsaw Man (Manga & Anime), Honkai Impact (Video game), She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (TV show), Ted Lasso (TV show), Genshin Impact (Video Game), multiple comics unions forming, Pokemon games, Dr. Gameshow (Podcast), Spy x Family (Manga & Anime), Jack Johnson (Musician), The Flophouse Podcast, Willy's Wonderland (Movie), Barbarian (Movie), Dungeons & Daddies (Podcast), Persona 5 Strikers (Video Game), My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix (book), Komi Can't Communicate (Anime), Hello From the Magic Tavern (Podcast), The Afterparty (TV show), X (Movie), Pearl (Movie), Junkwraith by Ellinor Richey (Comic), Aeonian Red by Gigi Dutreix (Webcomic), Solve this Murder (Podcast), Pokemon cards, Medallion Status by John Hodgman (Book),  Beastars (Manga), Mark Darkly's Dark Room #1 (Comic), Escape This Podcast, Nancy (comic strip), Dicktown (TV Show), Garth Marenghi's Dark Place (TV Show, doesn't fully hold up, but still some great bits), My Lovey-Dovey Wife is a Stone Cold Killer (Manga), The Batman (Movie), the Sonic 30th Anniversary symphony, Turning Red (Movie), Inventing Anna (TV Show), Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), Shrek! by William Steig (Book), Lizzo's Watch Out for the Big Grrrls (TV show), Tomie by Junji Ito (Book), Woke Season 2 (TV show), Young Justice (TV show), Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Movie), Moon Knight (TV show), Chopping Mall (Movie), Dead Eyes (Podcast), Mr. Mayor (TV show), Kaguya-Sama: Love is War (Manga & Anime), Secret Identity by Alex Segura (Book), Maniac of New York (Comic), Catherine Full Body (Video Game), Hey Riddle Riddle (Podcast), The Rock Cocks (Webcomic for Adults Only), Alfie (Webcomic for Adults Only), Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness (Movie), Squirrel Girl The Unbeatable Radio Show (podcast), Venom (Movie), The Quick and the Dead (Movie), A Simple Plan (Movie), Army of Darkness (Movie), Sweat & Soap (Manga), Obi-Wan Kenobi (TV show), Vixen: NYC (Webcomic), Ms. Marvel (TV show), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (IDW Comic),Witch Watch (Manga), Persona 5 Royal (Video Game), Wotokoi: Love is Hard for Otaku (Manga), Sonic Origins (Video Game), Only Murders in the Building (TV show), Monthly Girls Nozaki-Kun (Manga), Lore Olympus (Webcomic), Gil Thorp (Comic), Halloween Kills (Movie), Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Anime), My Hero Academia (Anime), Uzaki-Chan Wants to Hang Out (Anime), Yakuza: Like a Dragon (Video Game), Godzilla (1954 movie), Werewolf by Night (Movie), Far Sector (Comic), Abbott Elementary (TV show), The Simpsons (TV show), The Loneliest Time by Carly Rae Jepsen (Album), Prom Queen by Beach Bunny (Album), House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski (Book), Evil Dead Trap (Movie), Sonic Frontiers (Video game), Lego Masters (TV show), The Tick (2016-2019 TV show), the Quintessential Quintuplets movie, my cats! 

New Releases this week (1/4/2022): Sonic the Hedgehog #56 (Editor)

New releases next week (1/11/2022): Godzilla Rivals II: Rodan vs. Ebirah (Editor) Godzilla: Monsters & Protectors - All Hail the King #4 (Editor) 

Announcements: Arizona Comic Book Arts Festival - 2/25! Becca and I will be coming to the AZ Comic Arts Fest! It's a one day comic-focused event in Phoenix, AZ. Tickets are only like $10. And besides us, there's an incredible group of folks going. Mitch Gerads! Steve Rude! John Layman! Henry Barajas! Jay Fotos! Jeff Mariotte! Marcy Rockwell! John Yurcaba! Andrew MacLean! Alexis Zirrit! Meredith McClaren! James Owen! Ryan Cody! And many more! Come and see us! 

Next week: Over the break, I saw some chatter about whether or not some of the larger publishers are due for another reboot/relaunch/continuity reset of some sort and we'll talk about why limited continuity is so appealing for pitches and creators and new readers, but how leaving continuity behind is also a headache and a half for everyone involved! 

Pic of the Week: Becca ended up having one last little event right at the end of the year! They tabled at the New Year's Eve party for fundraising for block reconstruction in our neighborhood! So we spent our NYE doing something we did a lot this year, tabling and selling cool merch.