#tuna mayo even...

[anbaisai]

so the conversation had inspired me…

now not only is there the walrus-brand young oyster sauce in the kitchen, we also have the mayu (麻油) special sesame oil!

oh my god it's mayu branded 麻油... AU where she starts some kind of successful food business in Twisted Wonderland 😭💰 (Azul wants to strike an exclusive business deal)

Jamil looks so cute in your style though, I love the look of concentration on his squishy face 🥺 wonder what he's making with that oil? (does he also keep the bottle once it's empty because of the label)

[bluedesertbruja]

im home and wide awake fm all the excederin i took to alleviate the cramps of my period that i started. also, ive had a horrible week. those two things are surprisingly unrelated.

[bitegore]

hissho sushi has absolutely no right being so fucking expensive for how ass it is

[quadrantbreaker]

I NEED CARBOHYDRATES‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[madaqueue]

tuna

m-mayo 😃

[felicityphoenix5]

tried tuna for the first time today

tis a bit mid

however im told that it tastes better the closer you are to the ocean ( i am very far away from any ocean )

therefore: i shall someday go to a Coast and eat tuna . hopefully i shall like it more then 👍

[insert-game]

the agony of when you are autistic and hitting a severe case of samefooding but it’s not acceptable to make all the other people you cook for eat the same thing for days on end (or longer)

[grassbreads]

The eternal problem with jimmy john's is that they have really good tuna salad, but they only have really good tuna salad about 25% of the time. 50% of the time it's just middle of the road decent, and the other 25% of the time it's absolute trash. I have no way to predict what it will be any time I get a sandwich from them.

The first tuna salad sandwich I ever got from them was one of the really good ones, and I've been chasing that high ever since.

[dracolizardlars]

Do people allergic to peanut butter know about tahini?

I can't vouch for it as a pb&j substitute because that's not something I eat, but tahini and chocolate spread tastes very similar to peanut butter and chocolate spread in my opinion

[ogerpwned]

My fuckass tuna called me a fag

[smallfisheyes]

it's silly, you know, but you have to try it. may the grapes work.

nanami kento can’t find you when the clock strikes midnight.

there was a ruckus, the release of fireworks outside (who permitted fireworks on school premises?), and cheers of happy new year. itadori toots one of those awful noisemakers. tuna mayos and hugs are exchanged. as planned, nanami maintains a wide berth from gojo, recalling his attempts at a sloppy kiss the previous year. it is a new year; the year of the snake.

but you are nowhere in sight.

why does nanami's belly feel like it's sinking? he smiles, but there is an ache at the centre of his chest. his eyes flick left and right, the festivities unfolding before his eyes. the school had been decorated by the students with the funding of gojo's shiny black card, reds and golds streaming along the walls. stuffed snakes (inumaki's idea) were thrown haphazardly onto the ground. the remnants of the party games from earlier scatter the table-clothed tables.

in your stead, shoko meets nanami's eyes. he nods, giving her a brief hug, sure to grip her just below the shoulder and just above the waist.

"happy new year," he mumbles. shoko smiles. it is politeness exchanged with a colleague and friend, but this is not how he pictured his first interaction of the year (and with whom it was shared).

kento had planned it down to the tee: your favourite wine, no more than two whiskeys, arriving just after you to seemingly rescue you from forcing yourself to yap about things you did not care about (work) with a person you could not care less about (gojo). kento was meticulous, more meticulous than he was at that awful firm he worked at in his early twenties. he had to be. the moment must be perfect. you deserved a wonderful evening. yet, there was a variable he forgot to consider: he couldn't find you.

"ah, nanamin," shoko hums. kento steps back, offering his full attention. there's that awful look on that face of hers, one that dates back more than ten years. the teasing one that reminds kento he is nothing but a lost junior; a silly, unkowing little boy with punk bangs. one that is about to be berated by the scary bobbed girl with a cigarette habit.

a force seizes his lungs, halting their movement. may the berating begin.

"are you looking for someone?" shoko teases. that tone. how grating.

"what gave it away?" no frustration laces kento's voice, only soft desperation.

shoko stacks her hands together and brings them to the side of her face. she tilts her head, her voice sing-song-y. "nothing, just that look of yearning."

kento huffs in frustration. his fists curl in impatience. "where is she, shoko?"

shoko steps to the side, an evil scientist revealing her latest experiment.

when kento sees what is behind her, the world tilts just right.

there you are, under the table, crouched and feral. kento draws back at the sight of you: a monkey, primitive and on the hunt for food. in quick succession, large and luscious green grapes were thrown into your mouth. you were a chipmunk. you stuffed your face full of grapes before you even finished chewing. 

you were always a wonder.

shoko's voice is soft, her note of contentment complimenting kento's sudden leisure at the sight of you. "happy new year, nanamin." she pads away.

kento makes a note to gift shoko a red envelope the following day.

there you are; his little star. kento moves, crouches, and parts the red tablecloth.

"you never told me you liked grapes."

your grape-a-thon veers to a halt. absolute horror stills your chewing. you have at least five grapes in your mouth. 

kento smiles wide. a rush of warmth washes over him. he could squish you.

this too much attention from a too handsome man. you turn your head away to fend off the rush of blood to your face.

"they're soh exsensiv hare," kento makes out between your voice and the grapes. you chew rigorously, averting your eyes. you hold a hand in between your wobbly mouth and kento’s eyes, falsely creating a front to maintain your dignity. "tha’s why you don seh meh eaving them. gofo saeh he woulv give them tah me."

kento bristles. he would get grapes for you anyday. command or none.

"may i join you?"

you chew a little more in thought, grimacing as you swallow. kento tries hard not to watch your throat, but he can’t resist. 

“of course.” you’re sincere. you’ve gone shy. his heart aches. he wants to make you get bashful like this every day.

you scooch over to make room for large and long nanami kento to sit beside you under the table. he’s still wearing those winged shoes you love, but opted for a white knitted sweater that makes you wonder how soft it is. you almost reach for kento’s arm, but you draw back. you’re under the table eating grapes for a reason. you deflate. five more grapes to go.

“you don’t need to be under here with me,” you reassure kento. kento looks like a stuffy that got pounded into a too small toy chest. his neck cranes and his bottom is awkwardly sat in a cross cross. you smile. you want this to last forever. 

“i can’t let you be here alone. it’s new years.”

you wring your hands together. you need to eat four more grapes. “thanks, kento.”

you eat your grapes now, but slower. this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. weren’t you supposed to eat all twelve grapes before midnight was over? you glance over at the clock. it’s already too late. 

you open your palms: four beautiful green grapes, grown and harvested in japan. when you arrived here, you hadn’t realized fruit was a luxury. fruit is difficult to grow. the majority of land is ill-suited for fruit. 

four wasted beautiful grapes.

“that’s enough grapes for tonight.” kento gently takes your hand and rests them on his own. he cups yours, creating a shield. his hands are warm. they’re so much bigger than yours. “you never needed them.”

“yes i did,” you insisted. 

kento shakes his head. “no. you don’t need any of that nonsense.”

your frown is deep. your eyes are in a different place. kento cups your hands more firmly now. “you never needed the grapes, darling.”

it’s instinct, the little “no” that forms on the tip of your tongue. it takes a second, another, to realize the precious thing kento had called you.

darling. YOU. darling?!

suddenly, you’re the one gripping kento’s hands. “what did you say?!”

kento shakes his head, patting your hand. “you make this difficult.” 

“you! you called me–” you guffaw like a fish when kento nods a tired affirmative, like it was obvious all along. “please don’t lie.”

kento’s eyes turn icy. “i would never lie to you.”

your lips wobble pathetically. you hate this man. he makes you silly and makes your heart beat too fast. he makes you want to turn away and stare all the same because he is too handsome. too kind. so him. and you had always wanted him. but the yearning? you never expected it to be returned.

“nanami kento, were you always on tiktok?”

kento throws back his head and laughs. you stare for too long. you’re allowed to now. “i have three wonderful students.”

the year of the snake will be a wonderful one.

you leave the remaining grapes for gojo. he needed them more than you.

i can't stare at this anymore please take it as it is. happy year of the snake everyone :) hissss

[angelicgirlmj]

an angels guide: healthy eating at school

hi angels! you voted and this came first so here it is, an angels guide to eating healthily and focusing on your body and health goals at school. healthy eating at school can be tricky. you use up so much enegry and time in class and studying that meals can seem a little less important. you might end up skipping a meal or eating a meal that ends up not fitting your health goals all because you ran out of time. i have created three categories of lunches to help you find meal inspo: cold lunches, hot lunches and make the night before lunches. also a bonus snack section and some general tips! enjoy angels and feel free to comment your go to lunches/snacks.

˚₊‧꒰ა ꣑ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

tips

bring a bottle of cold water with you to school, drinking water regularly helps you look and feel your best.

eat breakfast! even if you don’t get very hungry eating in the morning helps your brain and body function it’s best. try having some fruit or a smoothie if you really struggle to eat in the mornings.

try vitamins/probiotics to help you get all your nutrients and vitamins in.

buy a cute lunch box/food containers to make sure your lunches are adorable.

make a pinterest board of cute healthy lunches to be inspired by!

figure out your health goals and create meal ideas from there. for example: i want to build muscle! that means you need more protein in your diet so plan meals and snacks with lots of protein sources to fit your goal.

˚₊‧꒰ა ꣑ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

a week of cold lunches:

chicken salad: mix chicken, avocado, tomato, cucumber, carrot, corn, salad leaves (lettuce, rocket etc). add mustard and lemon dressing, season well with salt and pepper and fresh dill. dessert: raspberries and blueberries served with peanut butter and greek yogurt.

tuna and avocado pita: mashed avocado and tuna, seasoned with salt and pepper, fill in pita along with rocket and pickle slices. dessert: pineapple and pomegranate fruit salad.

cold rice bowl: mix cooked salmon, rice, cucumbers, cooked broccoli and sliced carrot. sprinkle with sesame seeds and pepper and salt. garnish with a garlic mayo or homemade yogurt garlic sauce. dessert: chopped strawberries dipped in yogurt and coated in dark chocolate and coconut oil left to harden.

feta and turkey wrap: place lettuce, turkey, tomato in a wrap and sprinkle with feta, pepper and salt. dessert: sliced apple (squeeze lemon over to stop apple going brown) with peanut butter, greek yogurt and cinnamon dip.

cold pesto pasta salad: mix cooked penne pasta, homemade pesto, tomato, rocket, avocado, grated parmesan and season with salt and pepper. dessert: tangerine pieces and kiwi.

cold noodles: mix cooked noodles, shredded red cabbage and carrots, green onions, handful of crushed peanuts, chopped cucumber and cover with sesame peanut sauce. dessert: homemade blueberry banana oat muffin.

salmon bagel: add salmon, cream cheese (or cottage cheese), cucumber, rocket, lemon and pepper to a bagel. dessert: blackberries and mango.

˚₊‧꒰ა ꣑ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

a week of hot lunches:

pizza toast: spread homemade tomato sauce on a piece of sourdough bread, cover with mozzarella, add your favourite toppings such as ham, mushroom, olive, pepper etc and bake until cheese melted, serve with rocket. dessert: banana bread and greek yogurt.

stuffed aubergine (or eggplant): sauté aubergine, onion, garlic, pepper, zucchini and olive, add in tomato paste and season. put in aubergine and sprinkle with cheese. bake until cheese melted. dessert: sautéed apples served warm with yogurt and granola.

chicken meatballs: homemade chicken meatballs cooked with a soy based sauce and red peppers. serve with cooked rice. dessert: strawberry oat crumble.

gyozas: heat or make some gyozas and serve with a cucumber and carrot salad with soy sauce to dip. dessert: hot matcha tea with strawberries.

soup: make your favourite soup and serve with some warm sourdough toast. dessert: watermelon slices.

quesadilla style wrap: fill a whole wheat wrap with cheese, turkey, tomatoes and avocado. cook until cheese melted and warm. dessert: green grapes, blueberries and raspberries.

grilled chicken burrito bowl: mix grilled chicken, rice, avocado, black beans, corn, tomatoes, red onions, cilantro and sour cream with cooked rice and squeeze over lime and season as preferred. dessert: rice cakes with greek yogurt strawberries and melted dark chocolate.

˚₊‧꒰ა ꣑ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

snack ideas:

veggie sticks and hummus.

fruit salad.

frozen banana, peanut butter and chocolate slices.

pretzel thins and sliced cheese.

frozen grapes and lime.

salty popcorn.

yogurt parfait.

cucumber and cream cheese rice cakes.

cookie dough protein bites.

banana peanut butter rice cakes.

homemade oatmeal cookies.

smoothie.

chia pudding.

˚₊‧꒰ა ꣑ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

thank you for reading! happy back to school season. remember to nourish and take care of your body - you deserve it! love, m.

[rosy-hollow]

To put it simply, you match Toge's freak.

In every sense of the phrase.

It's funny, if one were to ask who Inumaki was most likely to date - it would be you. If anyone were to ask you why... you couldn't tell them.

It just... worked.

You and Toge had a connection that was too complex for words, and the reason for that was because you didn't need them.

Inumaki always struggled with words. Ever since he was young. It came with the burden of having cursed speech - anything he said came with a price.

At first, he had thought it was so cool - he could make anyone do anything - so long as he said it.

But then came the blood, and the coughing, and the pain, and finally the frustration that something as simple as words had consequences.

But when he met you...suddenly he didn't care about words anymore.

You were kind, funny, smart, pretty - gorgeous to him - but most of all?

You listened.

You listened to him, even if there was no sound. Even if he couldn't speak, he felt heard.

You understood him in ways no one else could because you actually bothered to.

You loved him in ways no one else could.

You loved him in a way that was so uniquely you - Toge couldn't help but love you back.

How could he not? You, with your stupidly perfect face, and your stupidly big heart, telling him with a stunning determined smile that you were going to learn sign language for him.

Something so small, but it meant everything to him.

Everyone else, deciding to just live with the random tuna mayo onigiri ingredients he could manage to say - but you worked, you actually tried to communicate with him.

With you, he could speak again.

With you, words mattered again. Maybe not speaking physical words - Inumaki stopped caring about that years ago.

But he knows, that when he draws little hearts on the warm skin underneath your shirt while the two of you sleep together, you know he loves you too.

More than you could ever know.

[midnightwriter21]

jjk hcs: toji & inumaki as boyfriends

characters: toji fushiguro & toge inumaki

warnings: slight toji slander hehe, nothing else i think?

an: read gojo & nanami version HERE read yuji, yuta, and megumi version HERE

TOJI FUSHIGURO

lord he is too fine

i’m so sorry for the toji simps myself included

cause you have the most nonchalant boyfriend to ever exist

he’s one of the “babe relaaaaxxxx. it’s not even a big deal.” boyfriends

and that’s cause for toji…. nothing is ever a big deal

unlessssss *wink wink*

unless you happen to be in danger

bc then toji is doing whatever it takes to make you safe

and i do mean whatever it takes

don’t expect fancy dates that take a lot of effort

toji’s version of a “fancy” date is taking you to the food court at the mall

and by taking you i mean he walks with you there and then makes you pay for the food

broke ass

he doesn’t really care about pda

toji does what toji wants

if he wants to pull you into his lap in the middle of a meeting with a client?

then he’s pulling you into his lap tf

and you’re gonna sit there until the meeting is over

if he wants to stick his tongue down your throat in the middle of a park?

he’s finding y’all a nice comfy bench to sit on and he’s pulling you in to meet his lips

toji WILL go radio silent out of nowhere

sometimes you’ll go days

maybe even weeks

without hearing from him

he always turns back up though

he’s like the stray dog that you start leaving food out for that disappears and reappears at will

he’s got nicknames for dayyysssss

but you never know what context he’s using them in

for example:

princess (derogatory)

brat (affectionate)

yeah anyways 10/10 would let him treat me like shit

TOGE INUMAKI

*sigh* he’s so baby girl sugarplum gumdrop angel face pookie bear handsome boy

so uh let’s address the obvious here…

mans can’t physically converse with you

BUT

inumaki is 100% the best of the jjk boys when it comes to communication!!

whether y’all talk using sign language, texting, a dry erase board, etc.

he is great when it comes to discussing feelings/ problems/ literally anything else

just uh… not verbally

now jjk usually portrays gojo and yuji as comedic relief

but inumaki? is a CLOWNNNNN

swear

i just know he’s funny asf

his facial expressions have to be top tier

and just imagine everybody having a lil sorcerer meeting. everybody is super serious and then you just hear “tuna mayo” come from the corner

bruh i would not be able to contain myself i would laugh til i cried

inumaki is stage 5 clinger!!!

bro is so open with the pda

he uses pda as an excuse to show you off brag

he spots some guys eyeing you from across the street?

he’s slipping his hand in your back pocket, giving you a lil squeeze and shooting them a smug smirk

and he is SMOOTHHHHH

bro can’t even speak to you but everything he does is so smooth

ong his rizz is top tier

as for nicknames…

since he can’t say normal words I like to think he’d find the name of a food that he can call you as a replacement lol

ex. when u blush he calls you out on it by poking your cheek and calling you “tomato”

boyyyy if you don’t find a cuter food name to call me

yeah i love him

[bloomzone]

A PROGRAM OF A HEALTHY DIET

(with idea)

- inspired by Korean idols !

By: ★﹕byeolgιrᥣ﹒

"Take care of yourself, That's the priority, You can only recieve love if you love yourself, I hope you think of yourself as a priority, Then people around you will love you"

- Jang Wonyoung

Breakfast:

1. Overnight oats with almond milk, chia seeds, sliced banana, and a drizzle of honey.

2. Whole grain cereal with skim milk, topped with mixed berries and a sprinkle of flaxseeds.

3. Veggie omelette made with bell peppers, onions, and mushrooms, served with whole grain toast.

4. Smoothie bowl with blended spinach, frozen mixed berries, Greek yogurt, and a handful of granola.

Mid-Morning Snack:

1. Sliced cucumber and cherry tomatoes with hummus.

2. Rice cakes with avocado mash and a sprinkle of black pepper.

3. Cottage cheese with sliced strawberries and a drizzle of balsamic glaze.

4. Whole grain crackers with tuna salad (made with Greek yogurt instead of mayo) and cucumber slices.

Lunch:

1. Quinoa salad with diced mango, black beans, diced bell peppers, and a lime vinaigrette dressing.

2. Whole wheat wrap filled with grilled chicken, lettuce, tomato, avocado, and mustard.

3. Lentil soup with a side of mixed greens salad and a whole grain roll.

4. Brown rice bowl with stir-fried tofu, broccoli, carrots, and a teriyaki sauce.

Afternoon Snack:

1. Sliced apple with a spread of almond butter and a sprinkle of cinnamon.

2. Edamame beans sprinkled with sea salt.

3. Greek yogurt parfait with layers of granola, mixed berries, and a drizzle of honey.

4. Air-popped popcorn seasoned with nutritional yeast and smoked paprika.

Dinner:

1. Grilled shrimp skewers with quinoa pilaf and roasted Brussels sprouts.

2. Baked cod fillet with roasted sweet potatoes and steamed green beans.

3. Turkey chili served over baked sweet potatoes and topped with diced avocado.

4. Whole wheat pasta with marinara sauce, lean ground turkey, and sautéed spinach.

Evening Snack (optional):

1. Sliced pear with a sprinkle of cinnamon and a few squares of dark chocolate.

2. Celery sticks filled with almond butter and topped with raisins.

3. A small handful of mixed nuts (such as almonds, cashews, and pistachios).

4. Herbal tea with a squeeze of lemon and a small piece of cheese.

These meal ideas offer a variety of nutrients while keeping the overall calorie intake in check for a healthy and balanced diet.

[blasphemyandbackshots]

what will you do, when your boyfriend is absolute cringe? — jjk version

satoru gojo—cringe level: legendary

tries to ‘accidentally’ bump into innocent people while out with you and loudly says, “oh nooo, don’t mob me, i’m on a date with my beautiful girlfriend 😏.”

says, “babe let’s take a selfie,” then uses every filter on snapchat. he picks the dog ears one and pants like a puppy.

insists on calling you ‘his little infinity’ in public. says things like “you can’t touch her unless you break my domain 😘.” you just wanted sushi, not a battle declaration.

sends your photos to nanami with captions like, “look how hot she is, don’t be jealous, mr. accountant.”

kento nanami—cringe level: dry dad energy™

tries to make jokes and they never land. “i’m feeling very… cursed today. must be because i’m under your spell.” silence. dead silence.

wears matching couple shirts. not ironically. “if mine says ‘king of curses’ yours should say ‘queen of my heart.’”

refers to you as ‘my beloved’ in every sentence. people think you’re in a period drama.

sends you passive-aggressive weather reports. “the temperature today is 12°c. wear a scarf. i won’t be responsible for your cold.”

toji fushiguro—cringe level: dumb jock with zero shame

tries to sext you in emojis. it’s just the eggplant and three knives. you have no idea what that even means.

refuses to call anything by its real name. calls breakfast ‘protein-up time’. calls your lips ‘mouth pillows’.

when you wear anything cute, he flexes and says, “yeah, i did that. you’re welcome, world.”

will absolutely send gym thirst traps and caption them “so you don’t forget what’s yours 💦💪.” sends them to the group chat by accident.

megumi fushiguro—cringe level: reluctantly adorable

tries so hard to be cool around you but absolutely chokes. stares at you, then looks away too fast and walks into doors.

denies being jealous but mutters “i’ll kill him” under his breath when anyone flirts with you.

will text you “u up?” at 8:13 pm then panic and say “sorry wrong person” and ghost you for two hours.

his idea of flirting is saying, “i guess you’re alright.” then staring at the floor for 6 years.

yuji itadori—cringe level: golden retriever with no filter

tells random strangers that you’re dating. waitress: “what would you like?” yuji: “i’d like whatever she wants. she’s my girlfriend. isn’t she pretty??”

dances anywhere if he hears music. grocery store. dentist’s office. funeral (he swears it was just a reflex).

wears a ‘world’s luckiest boyfriend’ shirt on your anniversary. you didn’t even get him one.

gets teary-eyed when you kiss him and goes, “wow. that felt like love… do you think sukuna felt that too?”

yuuta okkotsu—cringe level: sweet boy but intense & fast™

brings you flowers every single day. like it’s a competition. you now own 13 vases.

gets so nervous around you he recites rika’s curse vow by accident instead of ‘have a nice day’. you just blinked.

once cried because you complimented his handwriting. “no one’s ever noticed that before… you’re so… so…” cue intense anime sobbing.

tries to talk dirty but his voice breaks and he immediately apologizes and bows. you just wanted to kiss. not a formal ceremony.

toge inumaki—cringe level: silent rizz but when it goes wrong, it goes wrong

texts you only in emoji code. it’s cute until you realize 🍙💥💀 might mean ‘i miss you.’ or ‘i blew up a building.’. unclear.

tried to dirty talk you using only ‘salmon’ and ‘bonito flakes’. it was confusing. but strangely hot.

you said “i love you” once and he panicked so hard he said “tuna mayo” and ran out the room.

will dramatically mouth full love speeches in slow motion like it’s a silent movie. background music plays from his phone. the secondhand embarrassment is in 4d.

suguru geto—cringe level: smooth-talking cult leader energy

flirts like a guy who read one too many romance novels. “every time you speak, the cursed spirits retreat. coincidence? i think not.”

performs unnecessary hair flips and stares into the distance as if someone is always filming a documentary about him being misunderstood.

calls you ‘my little curse queen’ in public. once said it at a bakery. the cashier blinked twice.

will 100% do a dramatic slow clap when you walk into a room. every single time.

choso kamo—cringe level: emotionally earnest but awkward emo boy

writes you love poems at 3am and reads them out loud with complete sincerity while you’re trying to sleep.

once made you a playlist called ‘songs that make me think about your blood’. you had to lie down after that.

tries to recreate romance movie scenes but keeps picking the wrong ones. tried the ‘titanic’ scene in a bathtub. nearly drowned.

hugs you in front of everyone for 30 seconds longer than socially acceptable and whispers, “you smell like safety and also my destiny.”

ryomen sukuna—cringe level: eldritch horror who thinks he’s hot on tiktok

tries to be ‘mysterious and sexy’ by saying things like “you’re lucky i don’t kill everyone you love just to have you to myself.” sir. therapy. now.

uses his domain expansion to make fireworks in the sky that spell out ‘mine’. you screamed. so did the neighborhood.

will take over yuji’s body mid-date just to flirt. “he’s too soft. let me show you how a real man treats you.” you were just trying to eat takoyaki.

posts shirtless mirror selfies captioned ‘god body. devil tongue. her problem.’ blocks comments so no one can call him out.

mahito—cringe level: feral theater kid with no social awareness

practices different personalities like a method actor to ‘see which one you like best’. one day he’s a victorian butler. next he’s a skater boy.

sends you cursed objects as gifts. you cried when a jar started whispering your name. he said, “it’s the thought that counts, baby 🥺🫶.”

made a scrapbook of your hair. not a lock. not a strand. like. all the hair you’ve ever shed in his presence. he calls it ‘the archive of her beauty’.

if someone flirts with you, he shapeshifts into them and says, “is this what you want?” you had to leave the restaurant.