#tw: Self-harm mention

[kitxkatrp]

He wants to rip his skin off. Not a good day for him.

[river-muse]

Went just entirely on autopilot mentally and ended up making this within like 2 days of the sidequest where he and Tai talked one-on-one. It was nice finally, idk- he's been haunting the narrative around Tai for this entire campaign so now that he's here interacting after literal years of anticipation I'm just like- man this guy's definitely been through a lot. His body probably doesn't really feel like his own anymore- because he's caught somewhere between Human and Dragonkin anatomy.

(Though as usual for me in this campaign- can't help but be a little paranoid about the convenient timing of it all. Right as Tai might be starting to learn how to move on and stand on his own? Hmmm.)

At least I can willfully ignore all the neon warning signs, let Tai have some time where he feels happy again, and use their reference sheets as an excuse to commission people. I need pictures of them looking stupid and in love. I need so many pictures.

[a-student-out-of-time]

I’m glad you all understand. And yeah, I’ll start from the beginning.

___________________________________________________

“I was born in a small village in the Hokkaido wilderness. You’ve never heard it, we were quite isolated. My mother...she died in childbirth, and my father was left to raise me alone. But because of that, because of her death, the other villagers began to believe I was a cursed child.”

“The adults avoided me, the other children mocked me. Anytime one of them got sick, the blame was laid at me. During that entire time, my father...I was worried that he hated me too. He never did much to show that he loved me. I felt like I had no place there, and I just didn’t care what happened to me.”

“Then, when I was about 12, another child in the village died. The villagers blamed me for it, and they...well, when my father refused to let them in, they set fire to our home.”

“From there...things raged out of control.”

“The fire spread to the other houses quickly, engulfing everyone and everything. Those who gathered around our home quickly left, whether to save themselves or save others I couldn’t say. I thought that was the end for me as well. But my father...he pushed me through a window, and told me to run.”

“I hid in the nearby woods and watched as the fire consumed everything. It was in a wide clearing, so I should’ve seen anyone who did escape. But...I was the only one.”

“By the time the fires finally died, I picked through the ruins, trying to see if anyone was left. Every house was reduced to a burned-out husk or a charred heap. The smell was...horrendous. Just as I suspected, I was the sole survivor.”

“And so, throughout the night and well into the morning, I set about burying the bodies.”

_____________________________________________________

You buried them all?

However they treated me in life, they deserved a proper burial.

I was on my own for some time, just trying to offer my services to whomever needed them. It also seemed Hope’s Peak Academy learned of what happened, and so they offered me the opportunity to attend.

But I hate the talent they gave me. I don’t like burying bodies, I don’t like talking to grieving families...but somebody has to.

Besides, I’ve been close to death my entire life. It’s how I have such an aptitude for it.

I hoped that, perhaps, I could start again in Tokyo.

____________________________________________________

“Whoa, who’s that creepy girl?”

“She’s the Grim Reaper”

“Didn’t you hear? She survived while her village burned down.”

“I bet she did it herself.”

“She’s so ugly...”

“Get out of here, you freak!”

_____________________________________________________

Nobody wanted to associate with me.

And of course, you know what else I was doing. Those off-days when we met  and I had to clean up the bodies.

And every time, I had to explain to the families of the deceased that their children died. I had to lie to them about it...and many of them screamed at me. I had to be the bearer of bad news, and they let all their rage and hate out at me.

Between that, the insults, my job outside school, the memories of what happened to my village...I turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

What do you mean?

...

*Estu rolls up her sleeve, revealing the old scars along her arm*

Oh...

*Mayumi holds Estu’s hand*

That’s where I came. I, uhh...found her in the bathroom.

At first, I thought she was there to mock me. I didn’t want to listen at first.

Yeah, but we talked for a bit, and I asked if she wanted to hang out.

I had to drag her sometimes, but she liked it.

Yeah, I did. Mayumi-chan was the first real friend I ever had.

And with her encouragement, I started talking to a therapist. It wasn’t easy opening up, but over time...I did feel better. I haven’t self-harmed for almost a year now.

But I couldn’t simply let the things that happened at Hope’s Peak go unchallenged. What they brought me there to do, and why. When Kasugano began his crusade against them, I realized others must feel the same way.

And then we started doing our own investigations, and that’s how we get here!

...I...Estu, I’m so sorry all that happened to you.

...When I said I wish I could switches, I didn’t mean to imply I wanted you to suffer like that. You don’t deserve that.

I’m simply saying, you have it better than me in some ways. You’ve had friends ever since you came to that school, and now you have even more. When you left Hope’s Peak, they left you alone, hoping that you would simply take your own life and that would be that.

They kept a closer eye on me, trying everything in their power to keep me in line and ensure I obeyed. I’m certain they were wishing I’d simply kill myself when I was no longer useful.

But I’ve decided, after so many people have wanted me dead for so long...I’m going to live.

Good.

But I can’t live as myself anymore. They know I know too much, and they’re going to take some final action to keep me silent and hide their secrets.

It seems, either way, Deguchi Estu is the last person I’ll have to bury.

[thisismycorneroftheinternet]

The urge to rip off your own skin when you're reminded that people are attracted to you.

[melonisopod]

I honestly dont know if they're excluding van gogh bc of inconsistent Foreigner class garbage, or if it has something to do with getting called out for how tasteless she is already and they didn't wanna push it.

I know the latter sounds astronomically less likely but it wouldnt be the first weirdly placed line in the sand they've drawn.

Yeah I kind of doubt it's the latter. I'm saying, Van Gogh literally has a passive for fighting the urge to commit suicide. She self-harmed in her debut event. How the fuck is she NOT mentally ill, but Kreimhild (who is bereaved from losing her husband, sure, but otherwise not really that bad?) is?

[caeca-iustitia]

So!

Vincent is definitely unstable.

But there is an important distinction to be made!

Vincent is not unstable in the sense that they want to hurt another person.

Vincent is unstable in the sense that they want to hurt themself.

[starlightseraph]

house md will always be remebered as the most insane thing ever broadcast because of how unabashedly feral everyone involved was.

a short collection of things that happen on the show, just off the top of my head, not even scratching the surface:

- house shoots a random dead body in the morgue and then sticks him in an mri machine, which pulls the bullet out of the dead guy’s head and destroys the machine, costing the hospital millions

- foreman gets bitten by a person with rabies

- chase kills an african dictator

- cameron steals drugs from a patient after possibly getting hiv from said patient

- house induces a migraine and then takes a drug made by his arch nemesis (who he’s been stalking for 25 years) to get the drug taken off the market. he then takes lsd (in the hospital, in the middle of a case) to cure the migraine.

- chase goes into anaphylaxis after doing body shots

- house stops an elevator so he can perform a cavity (vaginal) search on a teenage heart transplant patient who’s in cardiorespiratory arrest

- they give a neurosurgeon mushrooms to cure his food poisoning, then they stick him in an operating room. the neurosurgeon strips in front of a health board assessor.

- kutner dies for gay marriage

- house sets an autopsy room on fire while trying to juggle flaming bottles

- house gets recruited by the cia

- taub gets held at gun point after diagnosing a stripper with skin cancer

- in almost every single episode, the team breaks into multiple houses

- house fakes terminal brain cancer so he can get drugs implanted directly into the pleasure centre of his brain

- house cons us immigration to get his fake wife a green card. he also uses his fake wife’s ukrainian food truck to spy on people

- house tries to get wilson, his closet case boybestfriend, into bed every few episodes. every other sentence out of house’s mouth is about wanting to rail wilson.

- taub has a kid with his ex-wife, after they divorce, at the same time he has a kid with his 25 yo side piece. the kids’ names are sophie and sophia.

- house and wilson have a bet on who can hide a chicken in the hospital the longest without anyone finding out

- house tries to kill himself like 6 times and always fails (insulin shock, overdoses, electrocution, jumping off a building, cutting, etc)

- house fakes his death to get out of a prison sentence after violating his parole so he can live out his bi love story with his gay best friend who has 5 months to live

[wolfertinger666]

hey cool update because I feel it's important to say: been clean from SH for almost a year. it's been so long I actually feel nice. happy to be healing.

[till-we-become-monsters]

Doing a notes post cus why not?

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

30 notes - ill go through my closet and get rid of what I don’t want

60 notes -I’ll try and draw everyday/finish old projects

90 notes - ill try and brush my teeth everyday

100 notes - I’ll finish the mural on my wall

130 notes - I’ll try and finish the books I started

160 notes - I’ll try and figure out my hair type (straight, wavy, curly)

190 notes - I’ll try and take care of my hair the way it’s meant to be taken care of

200 notes - I’ll try and wear my glasses all the time

300 - I’ll try to go outside more

400 - I’ll try and eat at least one meal every day

500 - I’ll try and take care of my cuts a little bit better

600 - I’ll try and talk to my parents about things even though they probably won’t listen (don’t do this to me- /hj)

700 - I’ll try and stay clean for a whole school week (5 days straight)

800 - I’ll try and eat two meals a day

900 - I’ll try and stay clean for a whole week (7 days)

1K - I’ll try to find a online therapist (because asking my parents for one is scary (don’t do this to me plz /hj))

2K - I’ll try and stay clean for a whole MONTH. (30 days)

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

More to be added when I figure it out

SPAMMING IS OK

(probably gonna regret saying that-)

[sadiebrin]

Sadie’s fingers throbbed dully as she cupped the icy glass, sipping back tap water in hopes it would soothe the nausea that had been squirming in her stomach throughout the week; ever since she’d made the appointment. She’d chomped and picked at each and every one of her nails. Several hairs by the base of her neck had been yanked from their roots while she zoned out in front of the tv. 

You need help. White coats, antiseptic practically coating her nose with every breath. Smiles followed by pain. It’s not the same. They want to help. You can’t be there for Rockland if you’re not there for yourself. He can’t see you like this.

Glass set on the counter, she dug her fingers into the muscles of her arm, squeezing. Akela’s going with you. You’ll fight your way out if you have to.  It’s no use, what’s the point?  It’ll be fine.

It’s Shield. Will it?

Her phone buzzed on the counter.

Eyes gliding over the screen, the soldier took a breath before slipping it into her pocket and sliding a zip up sweatshirt over her shoulders.

Nothing like the scent of rotting garbage and hot dogs to calm the nerves. At least the air was cool on her cheeks as she stepped out the tower’s front doors. As expected, a Shield van sat out front. She greeted Akela with a nod before making her way around the vehicle, sliding onto the closest back seat.

“This city reeks.”

[kitxkatrp]

@clown-demon

It had been a couple of days since their anniversary, and the ecstasy of it had finally started to wear off a little. Dazai wasn't expecting his depression to kick him in the ass though.

After spending an hour locked in the work bathroom staring at a knife, he pulled out his phone.

[ Text to Nikolai: I think I need to come home early ]

[ Text to Nikolai: I'm not feeling so good ]

His head felt so cloudy and out of it. Usually what he did was make a few new wounds to snap himself out of it, but he was trying so hard not to do that for Nikolai's sake--

[ravensroleplays]

Heh, remember when I said that Snatcher self-harms due to his guilt and trauma? Yeah...that might have been a bit much, looking back on it...

[hardcoregayanalsegx]

"Why would you do that to yourself" I'm trying my best to soothe the pain, trying to cradle it so that maybe just maybe it will stop crying out

[toughttt]

"Ugh need" I say to an image of someone's cuts with a hospital room in the background

[moonstruckme]

could i req any marauder finding r’s sh scars and being loving about them? going through hell rn. it’s okay if u cant, love u mae

Wishing you all the best sweetheart, hope you're doing what you can to support yourself and let others around you support you too <33

cw: past self harm

modern au

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

“Did his wife cheat on him?”

“Why would you think that?” 

“I mean, if not, why does the mother-in-law hate her so much?” 

Remus shrugs, a secret smile playing on the edge of his mouth. His knuckles run over the skin of your shoulder idly as he keeps his eyes on the laptop screen. “Suppose you’ll have to wait and see.” 

You huff a laugh. “What’s the point of watching with someone who’s already seen it if you won’t tell me anything?” 

“It’s only ever really fun for the person who’s already seen it. I get to watch you go through the agonies I did.” 

“The agonies.” You roll your eyes, leaning deeper into his side. You could be a bit more convincing about holding this against him, but Remus’ bed is almost as comfortable as Remus himself, and you’ve found it impossible to pretend at being any less smitten with him than you really are. He sees right through you every time. “If you’d mentioned the agonies in your pitch, I might not have agreed to this.” 

“You’ll like it,” he promises, leaning back on you in turn, your shoulder pushing into his arm. 

The two of you are having the laziest of afternoons. What had started as a coffee date had turned into a trip to the bookstore across the street and then a walk in a park, and when it had gotten too warm out for the both of you Remus had invited you over for lunch and somehow you’ve ended up here, sitting on his bed in a borrowed pair of sweatpants while you watch a film on his laptop and he touches you like you’re a fascination he’d like to spend years studying. 

It’s an indolent, distracted sort of touching. Almost like he’s mapping you out in his subconscious, so that someday he’ll know you by instinct and memory but he’s in no hurry to get there. Like he’s got time. It’s also hypnotic. As captivating as Remus’ film selection is, you’re having a difficult time keeping up with the plot when your eyelids are so, so heavy. 

His knuckles stroke over your neck, the bare skin of your collarbone, down the slope of your shoulder. You don’t realize your shirt has slipped off the top of your arm until he does.

You freeze, Remus doesn’t. His fingers continue to graze lightly over the neat rows of scars, slowing as though losing momentum. You close your eyes. 

Emotion rises like a gag reflex in your throat. Apprehension and shame and a guilt you don’t quite understand. Like you’re wrong for ever having had the audacity to hurt, like this is something you’re doing to him, somehow, even though it’s long over and was only ever a misguided attempt at making yourself feel better. It’s nonsensical, and you feel it anyway. 

Remus is quiet for a long while. 

His touch moves back up your shoulder, to unmarred skin and safer territory. He asks, “You okay?” 

You swallow. “You mean, like, presently?”

“Yeah.” There’s the faintest hint of teasing in Remus’ voice. He sweeps his thumb over the back of your neck, an attempt at soothing you. “Or in general, whatever suits you.” 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” 

“I’m sorry if I overstepped just now. I didn’t know.”

“No…no, you’re alright. I wasn’t…” You rub your lips together, taking in what you hope is a subtle breath through your nose. “You’re fine.” 

“Does it bother you to think about them?” he asks. You can feel him looking at you, now, but you keep your eyes on the screen. It’s the only way for you to have this conversation. 

“Not really. It was just something I did for a while, you know?” 

“Yeah,” he says softly. “Yeah, that makes sense.” 

You sit there for another quiet minute, you watching the movie and Remus watching you. The coil of apprehension in you starts to loosen. Your breaths come easier. 

“Sorry,” you say, not bothering to force lightness into your tone, “I didn’t mean to spring that on you. It’s not a secret, but it’s not something that tends to come up, like, casually.” 

“No, hey, you’re fine.” Remus sounds serious enough that you turn to look at him, and you find him with a hard notch between his brows, a surprised sort of frown on his lips. “If anyone sprung anything, it was me. You haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t imagine it’s an easy subject to broach.” 

“It’s not a big deal to me anymore.” You’re beginning to sound almost as if you’re pleading with him. 

“Alright.” 

“And it was a long time ago now.” 

“It’s okay, love.” 

“I just know people sometimes get freaked out, and I don’t want you to worry—” 

“Hey.” There’s a tenderness to Remus’ voice as he cuts you off. His honey-toned eyes are soft. “It’s okay. Can I hug you?” 

You nod mutely. The hand currently resting by your neck slips down to hug your ribs, and his other arm comes around your front, palming your bare upper arm. He rubs up and down comfortingly, seemingly mindless of the faint lines under his touch. 

Remus’ lips touch to your hair. When he pulls you tighter against him, it feels almost like you’re rocking. “You’re alright,” he murmurs, to you, to himself. “You’re alright.” 

“Sorry,” you whisper, self-conscious now of your nervous blithering and slightly stunned by the way he’s touching you. 

“For what, sweetheart? Don’t be sorry. If you want to talk about it—about anything—I will always want to hear it, but you don’t owe me any explanation, alright?” 

“Yeah.” Your lungs deflate a little, a relief you hadn’t known you needed. “Thanks.” 

“Don’t thank me, either.” Remus is teasing again, the press of his lips to your hair at once firm and fond. He lets you go but keeps his arm around your waist, dropping his head to rest on yours again. “You’re just fine, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” You snuggle into his side, somehow safer than before. “I’m good. I’ve been good.” 

His thumb sweeps over your side. “And you can tell me if you’re ever not. You’re perfect regardless.”  

[lostinwonderland-13]

"Sometimes I cut myself to see how much it bleeds. Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me"

Eminem really hit the nail on the head