#typing this makes me want to cry again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yujeong · 5 months

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I LOVE the poem you just shared 🥺 I definitely thought it was Pete's pov before I read your tags, and figured that Pete's death was when he nearly died in the safehouse. Maybe it's super cool that it can be read both ways or maybe I'm just delusional. Either way, thank you for sharing 💕

My sweet anon, I would have replied to your beautiful ask sooner, but unfortunately, it made me cry a little too hard for that to be possible. Thank you so, so much for sharing your thoughts about my poem with me. You're definitely not delusional; the beauty of poetry is that each reader can find their own meaning in it. I'm so glad I wrote this in a way that it might not make it clear who's talking: both Vegas and Pete are obsessed with each other, so it'd honestly fit Pete's POV as well. Thank you for opening my eyes to this, I had no idea before. I've been struggling with my writing a lot this year. It's been a struggle to even post those snippets for the 2 year kpts event I share, because my overthinking brain keeps finding flaws in everything I write. Even with my poor beta's help and encouragement it's been a pain, so just know, your message means the world to me. Thank you ❤️

#got a little personal on the poor anon's message #but I've been feeling really discouraged about my writing this year #as well as just... barely being able to write how I want and how much I want #so even just small gestures like the one anon did make me insanely emotional #typing this makes me want to cry again #today has been a weird day my apologies #and my sincere apologies for not having posted any fics for the KPTS fandom since the secret Santa events #I know I'm not obligated to but I feel so guilty over it #anyway I'll stop now before this turns into a rant #thank you so so so much anon truly #you made my day #yu speaks #asks

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dawnthefluffyduck · 5 days

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I think i doubt my ability to work faster under stress too much

#classwork #banana yoshimoto #kitchen #so much for lurking #sorry i just like how these turned out haha; this was one of the things that was bothering me so it feels nice to have it done #i don't like the second one as much as the first one but it *is* empty on purpose... metaphors and stuff #this is for my capstone; it's our only art assignment we'll have for the whole semester (intimidating)#we had two options for what to do depending on what kind of focus we've placed on our work #people who were focusing on content for studio work had to make something that represented themself as an artist #people like me who focus more on technique and meeting task requirements had to depict something based on... any... literature #so i took a middle ground and did two page inserts for a book that's important to me #i actually wanted to do only one really detailed insert but my prof wanted two so i had to divide my time #and also read the whole book again which left less time for the actual drawing #crying bc the dropbox for this closed five minutes before I got this done #even though this technically isn't due until the beginning of class tomorrow #it'll be fine since i'm bringing the files to class via USB anyway but it'd be nice to have it submitted so it could leave my conscious lol #uh i also have to type up something for this so i shall do that now #night night

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sincerely-sofie · 8 months

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@scribz-ag24 YOU HAVE SLAIN ME WITH THESE

INSTANTANEOUS ADDITION TO THE WALL OF INSPIRATION

#lemme know if you want to be untagged!#*applauds you and your amazing art whilst ugly crying*#I'm dying laughing bc I've been meaning to draw some PMD2 Text Post Boogaloo memes myself #you beat me to it!! Unaware that there was a race at all!#scribz-ag24 is a psychic type with prophetic abilities confirmed???#people are nice and i am crying #stuff by sofie #sofie's hands makes an appearance (again)#the present is a gift au

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talkorsomething · 3 months

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I have Got to get more transgender

#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ #transmasc #trans ftm #transgender #i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever #so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL #it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks #such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also #or like. exist in general maybe #reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically #idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again #i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this #i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian #like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty #miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes #partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it #as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once #didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.

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rubiesintherough · 1 month

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.

#(( ooc. ))#.... so #if youre wondering why ive been so absent lately. ots bc im dealing with stuff like that. on top of handling everytuing around the house #and additional super stressful family drama #health scares caused by stress #the works. i feel like im a constant state of mindfuckery and i have been since we moved #thoght things would improve after getting away from MIL but apparently not #ive been so exhausted and stressed and pain has bee. spiking so bad #im really trying to be here bc writing has always been a calming thing for me like a fun distracting hobby #to get my mind off irl things but everytime i open up a reply i start crying #bc the words arent there and im too tired to even tupe bc im running myself ragged #and on top of that im dealing with hubby and whatever the f is up with him and the weird #180s he does where 1 second hes the sweetest most attentive guy ive ever known and the 2nd #im crying and apologizing for doing sometjing weong and i dont even inderstand what i did but hes upset at me #and somethings suddenly my fault #or im begging him for help around the apartment or smth #idk. i am really trying to be here i swear i am. i miss you all. i miss the stories we're writing together #i miss by bbys and wanna weite with them bc theyve been loud and active but i iust cant type what i want to #a single paragraph is taking me hours to get out no joke #idk. sprry for dumping all this on the dash out of nowhere im just kinda flailing right now and offkilter #gonna head off to bed and see if an actual good nights sleep for the first time in a week helps with my brain and makes things make sense #hope you all have a goodnight. sorry again for this #negative tw #negativity tw #venting tw #personal tw

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autisticlancemcclain · 1 year

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I love you Jackie but Applebee's? Applebee's of all places? One or both of those teenage boys are getting food poisoning.

okay confession i have never been to applebee’s bc there are like 2 in canada and i’m not seeking them out. i imagine they’re like the america equivalent to kelsey’s, in which case i KNOW that’s the important part. they are YOUNG KIDS with NO MONEY who care more about the GESTURE than the ACTUAL VENUE. it’s not about the applebee’s or about how shitty it is. it’s about them being quietly and newly in love and learning how to navigate that relationship in the spaces they have available to them

#AND GUESS WHAT ONE OF THOSE SPACES IS.#THE SHITTY APPLEBEES WHERE THEY CAN USE SHIROS EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT.#i had this argument the first time i posted in this universe too 😭😭#it’s not about the location it’s about the type #it’s about a first date at a sit down restaurant because that’s what you’ve heard happens on a first date.#even if that doesn’t make a ton of sense #bc you don’t need to get to know each other.#it’s about how keith is determined to show lance that he wants to change theyre relationship concretely and doing it the best way he knows #how.#it’s about lance showing his understanding by agreeing and showing up and changing the relationship too.#it’s about clumsy love when you’re young and you’re still learning it.#GOD isn’t it ENDEARING to you people!!!!!#klance #applebees universe #oh god that’s going to make me cry again.#the fucking applebees universe. the learning universe #actively crying rn #ask #my writing

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mamawasatesttube · 1 year

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thinking about him again... (robin kon...)

#rimi talks #i am not starting another wip. i am not starting another wip. new wips before finishing old ones are the mind killer #BUT..............................................#the problem is so many THOUGHTS and also my bad arm is killing me so bad typing hurts i will cry this is evil #i will type anyway bc i have to yell.#the bruce and kon of it all. kon breaking up with tana bc even in death tim is a good influence on him.#and then he makes bruce watch wendy with him bc he and tim used to do that and he breaks down and bruce panics and just swaddles him in cap #but ALSO... robin kon meeting oyl tim...#BUT ALSO ALSO the fucking comedy of jason trying to attack him but not knowing he is secretly kryptonian. this is so fucking funny #hes built like a brick shithouse and kon is still a gangly teenager but kon just tucks him under his arm like a suitcase like B GUESS WHAT #B I THINK I CAN BRING TIM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!#<- the only thing he takes away from jason not being dead. he literally does not care otherwise #jason is hissing and spitting like a furious wet cat and kons just like HOW DID YOU DO IT. I WANT TIM BACK #but again. also. robin kon meeting oyl tim. and then both of them having to say goodbye again. the fucking tragedy of it all #okay for real ow i need to stop and take a break but HNGHGN

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glsneeg-enthusiast · 1 year

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im thinking about sneeg again. im thinking about how charlie had all this character development and all these cinematic shots and a death that was made specifically to hurt the audience and sneeg had. none of that. the only thing he had that was even remotely like that was the scene with that hat and that wasnt even for HIM. it wasnt for him to have some big scene where he finally gets to be important or a scene that finally makes the audience care about him the way they do for charlie. sneegs deaths werent ever about him. he never even died ON SCREEN. the death in the cabin was used to show the creature that the audience made and the death in the warehouse had austin as the mainish focus while he was screaming and fighting with ranboo while sneeg was just kinda there. his death with the security wasnt even to show that he almost escaped or that he was even dead it was JUST to show that security was there. his deaths were never talked about or acknowledged like anybody elses. you couldnt even SEE him with the security.

#generation loss #gl!sneegsnag #i think about him the normal amount #hes so important to me #im going to throw up #sneeg makes me want to scream and cry and vomit and die and go to hell and then get reincarnated just to do it again #he makes me so sick #im so upset #i love sneeg dearly i am actually throwing up and shaking and screaming and crying as i type #comparing sneeg and charlie actually makes me throw up im my mouth its fucking gut wrenching

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insanechayne · 7 days

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~ ~ ~

#I hate who I am when I start missing human contact and feeling lonely #I start missing someone who was awful to me simply because they were reliable in talking to me every day and at least sort of my friend #I start craving the connections that you see in media even though I know those types aren’t real #it seems like everyone else has more people and better people and closer people in their lives than me #it seems like everyone has best friends and partners that are closer to them and better for them #and idk it just feels like things are missing from my life #I have a partner but I can’t always talk to them when I need to because they can’t always handle a conversation #I have a best friend but he barely ever answers my calls and things feel distant between us lately #I have other friends but they’re not the kinds that I feel I could turn to for help when I’m lonely like this #I have my parents but neither of them are very good at comfort in these situations #and I just want to cry because I feel so completely by myself and I don’t know what to do anymore #I just want someone to talk to and who will listen to me when I need help and advice and be there for me #I’m starting to really miss the wrong people again even though I know I’m better without them in my life #but at least I could send them anything and get a response fairly soon when I needed to #at least for a while they were very close to me and i think that’s what I really miss most of all #just the closeness of another person since I don’t always feel that with other relationships these days #it’s times like these I wish I’d just killed myself at 16 so I wouldn’t have to keep dealing with this over and over forever #it’s times like these I wanna fade away #if I’m going to be alone anyway then why bother keeping others around at all? why not just break off and go be a hermit somewhere else?#but I can’t do that because I have too many responsibilities that I need to take care of #idk maybe I should just kill myself and get it over with #pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to make it this long in the first place #I mean I’m being facetious cause I’m not overly suicidal and I’m not actually going to do anything #just kinda wish I could in a weird sort of way #like missing the feeling of a blade slicing my skin since I stopped cutting a long time ago #just want more out of my relationships and from myself and from my life and idk how to get any of that #personal

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straightlightyagami · 8 months

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you know until relatively recently i thought i'm at least like.. noticeably above average appearance-wise, i took it basically as a given since i was a little kid. but then i realized i'm actually ugly as fuck and nobody would ever pay any attention to me or find me good-looking or hot or whatever and i will be alone forever and die alone. so.

#iso.txt #vent post #obviously not posting a picture of myself so this is a pointless post. but it's better this way #i like the fact that lots of people here pay attention to me and it's because i'm smart and funny and say interesting things #every few days i realize this and start crying about it like some kind of idiot. i should get plastic surgery to fix all this but idek what #i told two of my friends about this and they gave me some nonsense about society and so on so thats basically confirmation lmfao #like if someone who is conventionally attractive asked you that you would Not fucking say that.#also some bs about how maybe nobody ever expressed any interest in me bc they don't think they'd have a chance. riiiiight lmfao #ik it's so superficial but i hate all of my features so much me being born was a mistake #i know that the fact that BASICALLY NOBODY EVER TRIES TO TALK TO ME is an indicator of that anyway #it just actually hurts like. i hope it's just bc where i live i'm not good at the language but maybe that's just cope #i just don't get it. i'm always better dressed than the majority of people in my classes. in my opinion.#like being presentable and shit matters doesn't it #maybe it's just that i sit in the front row and nobody there talks to anyone bc we actually want to take notes #i do have 'friends' but i don't get it. i don't get it how do you just 'meet people' who would ever pay attention to me.#the number of times i talked to someone who i wasn't introduced to by someone else is TINY #it's so unfair bc i'm like smart and funny and so on #sometimes if i squint im like well *i* think i'm kind of good looking. but LITERALLY NOBODY ELSE does #people only say that when they're trying to be nice.#now i'm thinking this type of post is going to make ppl think i post like a girl again and it's making me more upset but whatever idc idc #at best i'm 'cute.' people call me that a lot. i'm cute like a little kid is cute. i'd never be anything else to them.#i know it 'doesn't actually matter' but maybe it matters TO ME #basically any time i look in the mirror im reminded of all the reasons i ever wanted to kms

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charonte-simi · 3 months

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goddamn it

#I got really sad again fuck #I can't help but think he feels. guilty? bad somehow? knowing that he's the only person I'm interested in #ive made peace with the fact that nothing will happen again between us though. I'm okay with it I fucking promise #but I think he wants me to find someone else really badly. And it makes me think that he's uncomfortable with my attraction after all??#but I trust that if he was he would say so??? I mean he literally told me I could thirst over him #I feel like I'm getting mixed signals but he's not the type of person to do that #So why does he keep instigating these conversations about me finding someone else knowing that I'm incapable??#I've been forced to make peace with being alone forever stop making me talk about it please. It makes me unbearably sad #I'm okay unless I start to think about it please stop making me think about it #I'm genuinely content with my solitude 90% of the time #but rn I'm in the 10% and I desperately need a hug and a shoulder to cry on so I can flush this feeling out of my system #so I can go back to being okay #Uuggghhhhhh #sad boy stuff #simi speaks

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montanamp3 · 4 months

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tatimaxxing (something big just happened to me but i can't talk about it on this blog because ive posted face)

#my friend's in the hospital again so i spent 20 on an uber with my other friend to go see her #but by the time we got there visiting hours were over 😭#so we just had dinner at the park #and i told her about The Big Terrible Thing for the first time #straight through without embellishment! yay! i think at least #because ive retold the story in so many different ways that im not actually sure what happened anymore #she was like super chill about it though!! and was like im really impressed that you actively made an effort to not be [REDACTED]#not really what she said more like Making An Effort to No Longer [Redacted]#redacted as an action not as a noun blah blah you know #and she told me about how shes faced discrimination at our super homogeneously chinese church which i feel REALLY BAD ABOUT BUT I DON'T KNOW #HOW TO EXPRESS IT TO HER OR WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IT 😭😭😭😭 GIRL HELP #im being so useless and chinese about it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i don't know how to talk to people about things that matter #and idk like ok v non-tatimaxxing of me to say but ive been so self centered and going Wahhh these normies will never experience my #Deep Secret Emotions unlockable only by spending too much time on tumblr as a child #on the other hand i feel like once this has gotten out of the way i don't really have an excuse for not connecting with my church friends #yknow. like i don't have to hide this from them any more #they're great people!! and they're going through so much and I need to be there for them but I couldn't even get tothe stupidhospital on tim #not cry typing just ran out of space #anyway I wish I could care more about them I wish I could make genuine connections without having to lie to feel some sort of weird #rush of power over them because I know the truth and they don't when I lie so much I don't even know what the truth is #I've been putting my face on here more lately because I want to be genuine and I want to not hide things #but idk if it'll work I think it might just make me unemployable 😭😭😭#cc diary

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astrxealis · 1 year

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me rn having the biggest hots for leon kennedy and astarion sorry LMFAOOO <3

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#^___^ me smiling innocently #bg3 is on the MIND !!! i dearly want it so badly. turns out my dad played 1/2 (not sure which) a looong time ago #but he never got too far i think bcs he's busy... :P but hey i love him. wow. it's really cool he knows it too (ofc he does lmfao)#me and him (handshake emoji) also never getting far in da origins yet bcs we have it on xbox bcs of him getting it a long time ago #but there's that bug in the mage tower... :( funny we both went thru it LMFAO <//3 anyway i got it on steam so i've been playing #again but not recently anymore since 1. ffxiv took over my life last days of summer again 2. summer is over back school so rip #anyway can u tell i love fantasy :)) da and bg babeyyy !!! my type is going to make you guys cry i'm so obvious #zevran... fenris... astarion... i have a thing for ppl w blond/white hair :P idk my fav in inquisition yet and idk anything abt bg1&2 yet #but Yeah. GHBSHJGBSHJG..... da origins is kinda funny (lack of better word) to me btw bcs i like all four main romance options #but it's hard to explain (i have a story behind stuff i want to share but it's tiring and annoying of me /hj !!!!!)#anyway i like blond elves if it wasn't obvious. yes i also like link and zelda from loz. yes i like legolas. yes i like #...anyway! so where does re fit in this? uh. u see i'm a coward actually i'm too scared to play re LMFAOOO #BTU I ADORE THE LORE and the characters and the game franchise and shit ^_^ just. i shld really watch it sometime #instead of reading wikis all the time and just soaking up all the knowledge but i'm. a Coward. okay #i can't even play bloodborne despite how nerdy i am over it... it's so scary to poor little me... i'm a coward (it's the harsh truth).....#anwyay i'll conquer my fears one day but that day is NOT SOON !!! i wna get into re properly tho aside from just being a nerd #so i'm too scared to play but i'll watch playthroughs sometime (and admire leon) <3 yeah. another blond. i know. shut up.#is this my life rn am i just infatuated w blonds and white haired guys. it's gna be hell if i continue nier replicant rn too huh #uh. goodnight!

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kaevch · 5 months

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STOP. STOP SHIPPING HIM WOTH CHILDREN. IM BEGGING YOY. THERE ARE LITERALLY TEARS IN MY EYES. IM GENUINELY SO FUCKING SAD STOP IT ILL FIND YOUR HOUSE AND SHAKE YPU UP AND DOWN VIOLENTLY/neg CAN WR JUST JUST JUST LEAVE HIM BE PLEASE. PLEASE. IM SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT

#‼️ rant.#im crying #/srs #like #its not even funny anymore ( wasnt from the start)#there was this really cool art of him and i LOVEDDDD THE ARTSTYLE #but when i looked closer i realized #“ oh. oh thats. thats yuu. ”#and there was a #nvm #im so done you guys get the point #i just get rlly pissed when seeing ships like that #call it overdramatic or whatever idc #i hate proships #sosso much #seeing one makes me hurl #especially minor x adult #do i sound hypocritical?#sorry #like i love crewel and yeah im a minor but i wouldn't WANT him to like me back if he was real #because that'd be fucking creepy i never want to go through that again #and genuinely he wouldn't. hes nit the type of character #honestly no one in twst is #why would ppl ship ships like taht #i never understood that #i get comfort ships #but i dont think thats even close to fucking comfort 💀#wait i yapped too much again

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muttfangs · 5 months

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I feel like asking for a partner who is kind, empathetic, communicative, and attracted to me is asking for the world at this point when it's. the bare fucking minimum for me. and somehow I keep finding ppl who see me as a physically unattractive emotional punching bag and expect me to put up with it bc im fat and ugly (by normative gay standards). and when I assert my self worth and my boundaries they get nasty with me. lmfao I think I'm cursed! fuck my life! FUCK! MY LIFE :)

#i'm so tired.#I want love so badly but like... this recent catastrophe makes me never fucking want to be with someone again. cause this KEEPS HAPPENING.#it feels sisiphean. I feel like I will never find someone. it's been years. fucking years.#barking into the void #crying a bit as I type this 🤙 fucking disappointed

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heartshattering · 5 months

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Feeling like I want to give up again...

#now it's my dad who's deciding to be a jerk towards me because he's mad at my mom #okay that's cool I guess #I haven't been feeling well at all today #I can't even distract myself #my dad's being so dramatic too like it's not my fault he's on a break from work but still doing stuff he could probably get out of doing #but he wants to be away from me and my mom so. I get it #he's never at home even when he's supposedly on a break from his job lol #this is how my mom and I know he's lying about retiring #because he's always putting it off #he was supposed to retire this year but nope #if he doesn't have his job he has no excuse to get out of the house and he hates being around us #Goddddd #he is such a fucking hypocrite #getting mad at me over something he has also done before and then saying it was fine when HE did it because it was 'months ago already'#(dropping something except in his case he actually SHATTERED it lmao)#but yeah... me dropping something without breaking it is WORSE than him dropping and actually breaking it...#wow #amazing logic #then my dad keeps complaining about how we don't care. when he's the one who proves over and over again that he's the one who doesn't care #I forget what they're called but he's the parent type who doesn't get involved in anything #he's never stood up for me and he's watching me rot and hurt myself and he's just like 'oh okay as long as it doesn't involve me idc'#he's not fucking stupid like he can tell there's shit clinically wrong with me but not once has he acted like an actual parent towards me #and yeah I'm an adult now but it's still fucked me up so badly #he is such a fucking coward #and selfish #if he could drop me and my mom somehow I know he would at the drop of the hat #but remember he's a coward so. I know he fucking won't #God this is making my urges get bad again #I'm crying 'cause I'm just so fucking pathetic :')

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