imagine this jason todd coming home from a hard day and being embarrassed to ask for cuddles
i think about this daily because he doesn't want to seem needy or codependent but he needs your touches and affection because what else does he go out every night for?! who else is he making this city safe for?!
jason doesn't hate nor love what he does, but he does it because he has to. he has to be ruthless when others won't and he has to protect the weak. and it exhausts him. tonight especially because he had to do something he hadn't done in a while, kill someone. so when he gets back to your shared apartment, all he wants to do is hold you. he just wants to have you in his arms and never let go but he doesn't know how to go about that. you always asked for them and you didn't seem to want them right now. thats what he thought at least.
he sits down next to you on the couch, gently placing his head on your shoulder, hoping you'd do something but all you did was kiss him on the cheek. "how was patrol tonight, jay?"
"it was…difficult," he said quietly, he didn't want to project the way he was feeling onto you. he just wanted to hold you in his arms y'know? and never have to even think of you being hurt.
"do you need anything? i could make you some tea" you say getting up
but he pulls you back down by the waist and clears his voice before the big ask, "no no…i just want cuddles…"
"what?"
"cuddles"
"jaybird i can't hear you-"
"jesus woman, i just want to hold you"
jason would've felt a lot better about yelling that if you hadn't burst into laughter. this felt almost like you mocking him even though he knew you weren't trying to insult him. you didn't have to laugh in his face though.
"you want to cuddle?"
"yes"
you lay your head on his chest and warm your arms around him. he relaxes and pulls you close, taking in your scent. there was no better feeling they having you in his embrace, even if he was embarrassed to ask.
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It's a thing I already knew but all your beautiful analysis really made obvious (to me) how much of a grudge holder vale is. That man is never letting it go he's gonna hold his grudges into his grave
you know, I do think this is an interesting issue, because I'm not sure this is true of all his grudges. just sticking here with the grudges he accumulated in his capacity as a competitor, rather than just his general approach to life or whatever... how you judge this will kinda depend on how you feel about the 'reconciliation' he's experienced with some of his rivals - and whether you read the whole thing as sincere or not. now, personally I reckon he still dislikes biaggi, but also you are allowed to just dislike people so I'll give him a pass for that. some of the others, I'm a little more convinced by the whole reconciliation schtick
let's get valentino's take:
interesting that he mentions those three together, isn't it? and like, he's still not messaging biaggi or inviting him to his home - "even with max" kind of tells you all you need to know - but the other two? they said some proper nasty things to each other over the years!! I mean, the casey rivalry, there's some remarks from both sides where quite frankly I think I would struggle just a touch to get over it
I don't know, obviously this could all be pr stuff, but I kind of feel like... y'know, why bother? it's 2022, you're retired, who gives a fuck? sure it's a good look to be all magnanimous, sure it can be a bit of a way of twisting in the knife to the guys left in the cold, but also, who would care if you don't play nice? I think especially with jorge, you surely don't need to do all that, inviting him to your home and dancing with him... (which, again, some of the spats those two had...) and with the casey rivalry, if there's one guy who's still hung up about what happened between the pair of them, it's obviously casey (speaking of blokes who can hold a grudge). maybe this is giving valentino too much credit, but personally I buy it's more or less sincere. there's nothing to really indicate he's still particularly bothered by any of their past disagreements - he's basically going for the 'all's fair in love and motorcycle racing' approach. he knows he was an asshole, he accepts they were assholes too, whatever, that's how these things work. he's generally a fan of drama in rivalries, unsurprisingly, and he was happy enough to contribute his fair share - but he does see it as fundamentally being part of the game
to point out the obvious, check out who he's left out: sete and marc. that's where he can't let go of the grudges... because it's not about the offence itself as much as it is about the betrayal. this is the thing with valentino, right, it's about what kind of bond you had with him. if you weren't his friend in the first place and then piss him off as a rival then, y'know, whatever. obviously he's going to be vicious in trying to get back at you, but also he's really not going to waste his time feeling too aggrieved by it. I mean, think about how all the bullshit between him and casey dropped off sharply post-2012... from valentino's end anyway. think about how jorge and valentino pretty quickly got on again whenever they weren't fighting for supremacy within yamaha. they weren't friends in the first place, then they were enemies for competitive reasons for a while there, then it's over and valentino is basically happy enough to call it bygones
but... if it's a certain kind of bond you had with him and then you wrong him... that little mental list of all his past grievances, all your past transgressions, that's where it comes in. that's where he ices you out. denies you any emotional warmth. ensures that any interaction going forward is conducted entirely on his terms. where even any public 'reconciliation' won't truly be sincere.... or, certainly he's not going to forget what happened. if something else happens... it's like you've always got the potential of triggering this lingering resentment, in a way, where all that past stuff is still primed and ready to be called upon. he certainly doesn't just let it go
or, as he puts it in his autobiography:
Biaggi and I never talk to each other. I mean, we've never had a real conversation, anything that's lasted more than the requisite time to insult each other or put each other down, in the nastiest way possible. In any case, I don't hate him. It's true, we've never been friends, but hatred is something different, and that's too serious a word to describe our relationship. Far too serious. No, we have a reciprocal antipathy. No doubt this is a result of what we do for a living and the fact that we both want to win every single time. And perhaps it's also a function of the fact that we have very different personalities and very different ways of seeing things. Still, I don't think this means we hate each other, as some journalists have written. I think I could feel hatred for someone, but only for someone far worse than anything Biaggi has done. For example, if I were betrayed by a friend, then, yes, I could hate him.
But Biaggi will never betray my friendship for the simple reason that we are not, and never have been, friends. Our relationship is very clear: we compete on the track - outside the track, each goes his own way. You could say we detest each other cordially.
... I mean. he said it, not me. and given this book was first published in '05... biaggi can't betray his friendship because they were never friends... I'm not saying he's thinking about sete, but it has to at least be a possibility, right? he's talking about one rivalry here and refusing to even mention the other... and the one he's refusing to mention is the one where he was friends with the other bloke. I don't know, maybe that's reading too much into it! and anyway, even if this passage wasn't really about sete, it's obviously still revealing. "detest each other cordially" is essentially what he was doing with casey and jorge (or from his point of view in any case, not entirely sure they'd agree with that). the grudge comes when he feels let down by you... and then, yes, he'll never let it go
of course, he's willing to set aside his grievances for a while if there's sufficient motivation for him to do so. in 2009, when he had so definitively won that rivalry with sete, why bother kicking up a fuss? in 2016, quite frankly it was just too much, and it was getting to the point where it was obviously hurting him too. on the one hand there was the media furore that had been going on non-stop since sepang, on the other hand it was also hurting his own approach to racing. there's reports from the time how visibly aggrieved he still was in the first few races of the season, and it took until they got back to europe for him to... y'know, have fun again. it's not sustainable to be walking around with a constant dark cloud over your head and broadcasting burning resentment towards your two main rivals. certainly not for someone like valentino - he needs to be having fun! the slight rapprochement needed to happen, in a way, because otherwise those years would have been even worse for everyone involved. but that doesn't actually translate to forgetting any of those grudges. this is about convenience more than anything else
goes to show, really... most of the time he doesn't take these things personally. I talked about it a bit in this post, how maybe it's also something that changed over time for him: the question of whether he was willing to develop these kinds of bonds in the first place with competitors... because he does possess a certain level of self-awareness in terms of what these kinds of rivalries are like and what they do to interpersonal relationships. ideally, you don't want to be hurt by a friend like that, right? better not to have that kind of emotional attachment with your competitors in the first place. how unfortunate it'd be if all those years after sete the circumstances aligned for him to see a competitor as something like a friend again... because, after all, those are the only people who could betray him. those are the only people where he thinks he could truly hate them
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Pile 1🔮-
“Unbelievable!” That's the word that pops up in people's minds when they look at you for the very first time. You come across as bold and someone who is not afraid to take up their space. As soon as you say a word, people know that you're a beauty with a brain. Your aura is charismatic and mysterious. People can never truly know your business and can never guess the challenges you have been through. You come off as confident and minding your own business. People may even envy your independent nature. They wonder how someone like you can exist with so much grace and uniqueness in a society where everyone follows a routine.
Pile 2🔮-
Okayyyyyyy, pile 2! People can easily pick up on your intense aura. They can sense the depths of your sorrow. When they see you for the first time, they just know that you've been through something really difficult that has turned you into who you are today. You're giving me “vampire” vibes. Vampires are charming, but there's an air of fear around them. Gloominess. You need to work on your shadows and release the negative thought patterns. People can see that you're sharp and witty. But at the same time, they know that if you heal yourself, you're capable of so much more!
Pile 3🔮-
You come across as very friendly and soft-spoken when you meet people for the first time. Though you are reserved, people find your talk quite alluring. They know that you don't mess around with fake connections. They know you're here for a real deal with people. Others can easily pick up that you're sensitive and caring. You like collaborating with like-minded people, and that's why others wonder what the right words are to say to you so that they can be a part of your close circle. You come across as otherworldly. Others know that they can probably never hold the capability to feel as deeply as you do and can never understand how someone can be so kind, generous, and peace-loving. They know that being in your world is a privilege.
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