a promise of forever
– tales of the voracity pathstrider
✎𓂃 falling in love; promising an eternity in return. aventurine's real name, ~3k word vomit
aventurine has realized by now that he might just be in love with you.
okay, love is a strong word, let’s take a few steps back.
he isn’t too sure if he’s ready to make that commitment yet, so… at least, he wants you to always be with him. to stay by his side.
he has to make the first move because you would never
he’s terrified!! he doesn’t want to be the first one to offer his heart!!
but if he doesn’t you’d be perfectly content maintaining whatever you have right now
like… boss and assistant? friends? best friends? roommates? lovers? not yet?
aeons he hated how passive you are
it’s so damn obvious that you liked him back to a certain degree
but why aren’t you trying to hold onto him? why aren’t you trying to take up more of his life like he’s doing with you?
he wants your smiles all to himself; wants your hidden softness to only be directed at him; wants your affection for himself, all of you, including your leviathans
he loves, loves how you’ve opened up to him over time
you’ve gone from a ice cold slab of stone to a wall he trusts enough to rant at, then the highlight of his life that he doesn’t want to let go of
the way you would get upset whenever he tries to do something dangerous, even if you and he both know he’d come out fine
the way you would pick up the phone regardless of when or why he’s calling, even if you’re off duty and annoyed at him ringing you at 2am
the way you would, without considering his feelings, cringe and back away when he accidentally brings you food you hate, but ultimately feed it to your scarf because you don’t want to waste it
he loves them all. your reactions, your expressions, everything
especially when he’s probably the only one to see so much of you all the time
he wants to keep hearing you talk about yourself, keep learning more about you, even the parts of you that no one’s ever known before
he didn’t want to tell you all of that, yet he wants you to know
except you’ve made it very clear with your personality that if he doesn’t tell you, you won’t pry
and, like, you can’t read minds. neither can he.
so you’ve essentially forced him into confessing :(
if he wants your friendship (and more), he has to be the one who asks
aventurine remembers how cold you were at the beginning, so much so that he briefly wondered if working under him was amount to torture for you as it was for a few of his previous secretaries.
you never talked more than absolutely necessary, you've always had that terrifying glare, and couple these things with the fact that he rarely saw your face? yeah, you didn’t look like you wanted to be there.
he tried to transfer you elsewhere. under topaz, maybe, or even jade, or even some other department but you've never replied.
but you've replied to his texts before and after that?
you've just flat out ignored the transfer offer?
does this mean you don't want to be transferred?
that's probably when his fascination with you started
you, who's so detached and seems to dislike him, wanting to stay as his secretary?
he tried to ask you about it once, but all he got was “there's still a year before my contract expires”
which, well, yes, fair enough
but you should also know that if he's the one bringing it up, you won’t be getting into trouble for breaking the contract
he drops it, though, because he knows that there might be certain things you don't want to tell him
or perhaps you don't understand
he feels like you're very bad with emotions and expressing your thoughts
you are, honestly
it’s a different story with the permanent offer he made you a while ago, though
“are you sure?” you asked, with rare anticipation in your eyes
he chuckles, “absolutely.”
you try to hide your joy, but the speed at which you signed the paper is telltale enough
he’s also promoted you from secretary to assistant
even though you’re pretty much his assistant already
you don’t really know how to feel about that part
does this mean you’ll get even busier? not really? will you still be staring at contracts at 3am?
then comes aventurine’s offer for you to move in with him.
you’ve managed to finally notice that the dynamic between you and your boss resembles that of typical lovers in the media, but what do you know? one, aventurine is probably unused to someone else’s company so he’s compensating for it, and two, it’s not like you’re versed enough in mortal sentiments to make an accurate judgement.
he cuddles up to you in his sleep
he’ll smack your face accidentally when he wakes up and stretches
“this is the twenty-third time you’ve done this.” your scarf morphs into half a faceless snake and push his hand back down
why the hell have you been keeping count
you’ve mostly lined your morning routine up with his
efficiency, you tell yourself, it’ll be easier to keep yourselves on schedule
which means you find yourself with him at the breakfast table more often than not
he’s eating normally, while you…
you have a leviathan chewing on the entire plate, and yes that includes the ceramic
what about you? you’re preparing presentations and drafting contracts, of course!
or sometimes fighting for your life in corporate emails :/
is starting the day together really still simply “efficiency” at this point?
you’re starting to think you’re lying to yourself as the days go by
maybe you’ve been living amongst mortals for too long
because you find him so precious that you want to hold him dearly and give him everything
he’s so scared of being vulnerable, but he’s willing to lower his guard around you
what is this foreign feeling? what’s with this odd desire to protect? to hoard?
like how dragons hoard treasure, or how crows hoard shiny things
has anyone told you you’re terrible at emotions?
you’re terrible at emotions
you’ve memorized every little thing he likes and every little habit he has
and he noticed! of course he noticed!
are you absolutely sure you don’t like him even a little bit?
are you absolutely sure you have nothing to say to him?
must he make the first move when you’re so blatantly obvious?
he really, really, hates you (lovingly) for this
aventurine eventually comes to terms with it. if he wants you, officially, he’ll have to bare his innermost thoughts first.
there’s a period of distancing, and a period of overwhelming anxiety and overthinking all on his own. but even then you didn’t pull away from him, no; you were patient. you’ve asked, then left him alone when he turned his head away, then you’ve kept it professional. you didn’t question him again after, either.
it stung a little when you acted all formal with him, but it’s your little actions in-between that convinced him to finally come out and say it. getting him coffee the way he likes it, letting him find comfort in your presence at night even if he’s suddenly closed himself off, ordering his favorite takeout when it’s a slow day, covering his openings when you find yourselves locked in combat… you’ve always been looking after him, haven’t you?
finally, finally, aventurine decides to confess.
considering how little he knows about you, he (surprisingly) isn’t too worried about giving you his heart
well, of course there is the tiniest amount of doubt and fear
but mostly he thinks you wouldn’t betray his trust. mostly.
you’re a walking green flag, after all
maybe with the exception of when you’re left alone with monsters
but the way you treat him? green flag. massive green flag.
even after he’s told you a little bit about his past, you haven’t looked down on him at all
he doesn’t think you’ve ever looked down on him
though, he thought you thought him despicable when you first met because of the way you looked at him
not unreasonable with the stereotypes against his people and all
but you’ve proven his assumption wrong on your first day
you were totally cooperative and really… well, not nice, but not hard to work with, either
despite your unresponsiveness, you’ve kept everything he said in mind
that’s not how one behaves around someone they find distasteful
and after spending so much time with you, he realized that’s just how your stare is
you sort of… look down on everyone without meaning to
you have no idea how relieved he was when he could finally be certain that you’ve never disliked him
also! he can discern between your stares now
your resting neutral stare, your happy stare, your disgusted stare, they’d look the same to the average person, but not to him anymore
(he was super happy when he realized he’s got it all down)
he’s learned to read you because you’re so reserved and detached all the time
oh how he wished you’d tell him more about yourself
before anyone asks, he did try to dig up your past
imagine his surprise when he found nothing, like, literally nothing
the one time he watched you eat a monster whole was the first time he learned something deeper about you
he then realized that it wasn’t a coincidence that he couldn’t find anything about you
anyways, back to the confession
he’s come up with an entire plan in his head, but he really has no idea how to execute it
he wants to make it as memorable as possible for you!
except… would you even like a grand confession (of companionship)?
in the end, he took you out to a fancy dinner under the guise of “just another dinner date with your boss”
he’ll tell you his feelings at home
he has an inkling that you’d prefer it that way. intimate and private.
“hey…” aventurine starts, sitting down next to you on the bed after his shower, “i’ve been thinking…”
you naturally pull the towel off his shoulders and stand up to dry his hair for him. “you think?”
“stop, i’m serious,” he complains, punching your stomach playfully before burying his face in your shirt. “hear me out, you oversized snake.”
that’s the first time you’ve heard that nickname. “what?” you can’t help but be amused at the creative insults, then you let out a soft sigh and shut your mouth.
“you know how you’re now my permanent assistant?” aventurine slowly says, wrapping his arms around your waist as you work on his head, “can i… can we keep having this arrangement?”
you reply with a hum, but your tone slides up towards the end, like you’re asking a question. he chuckles, of course you’re confused, you’re so dense sometimes.
aventurine shifts around until he’s looking up at you. “this. you and i, living together, taking care of each other,” he elaborates, his eyes half-closed from how tired he is, “can you… stay?” then, with a quieter voice, he adds, “with me?”
you take some time to think about it as you toss the towel aside and bring out the hair dryer
from what you know about him, this is a very, very big request for him
he’s essentially asking if he can rely on you
even though he’s probably relied on himself most of his life
he wants to put his faith in you? you’re flattered, really
it seems like he’s also checking off a lot boxes for what people call “love”
according the the movies and books you’ve watched and read, anyway
but he’s not calling it “love”? is this something else, then?
you start blow drying his hair, carding through his blond locks with your free hand
he relaxes into your touch
“well? your answer?” aventurine asks, a slight shake in his voice as he peeks at you nervously.
“you sound like the protagonist of a romance movie,” you remark, leaning down to give him a quick peck on his head, “is this what it is?”
suddenly, it dawns on you why exactly were there flowers at dinner
roses, no less
but jeez, you did not need to call him out like that
what happened to oblivious and clueless?
then again, you’re bad with your own emotions, but you’re horribly good at reading others’
he flushes and hides his face in your stomach
he just wants to hear your answer, not hear you point out he’s probably extremely smitten with you
and it’s probably worse that you compared him to the lead actors in a romance movie
is he so obvious? is he not subtle at all?
does this mean you’ve known all along? you just didn’t want to make the first move?
or do you not feel the same way?
oh no, he’s overthinking again
“aventurine,” you call, snapping him out of his trance, “if you don’t say no, i’ll assume this is a love confession.”
man, why would you say it like that? it’s not that he can deny it, but if you’re going to be so damn straightforward…
“it… it is, i suppose, in more ways than one,” he whimpers in embarrassment, “will you, then, uh, will you say yes?”
he wants to trust you with all of himself so bad
finally he won’t have to shoulder everything alone anymore
he’ll tell you everything about his upbringing, even the ugliest parts
he’s been yearning for someone to hear him, to see him for so long
will you be his person?
he’s so excited and so scared
more scared than excited, actually
there are more issues he’ll need to work through, but for now?
he wants your promise
he doesn’t think he’ll ever come across someone as perfect as you again
so he really, really, really needs you to say yes
as the low whirr of the hair dryer comes to a stop, you set the little device on the nightstand and sit down next to aventurine. you sandwich his face between your palms and make him meet your gaze – you’ll never get used to how mystically pretty his eyes are – as you flash him a lazy smile.
“if you’re sure you want me,” you mumble; it seems that you are just as embarrassed as he is, “then… by all means.”
just as he’s going to throw himself into your arms, you stand up
?????? where are you going ??????
oh, you’re just going to put away the hair dryer and the towel
and also bring a spare scarf back with you?
did you forget that you have yours hanging on your neck
he’s so over the moon right now he’s all giddy and all over the place inside
are you perhaps the same?
when you come back, he practically throws himself into your lap
you avoid his eyes
holy shit you’re cute when you’re flustered
you’re blushing
you, who’s usually so stoic and unresponsive, is blushing!!
and trying to hide your face without resorting to your scarf!!
in the end you give up and instead pull him so close that he can’t see your expression
he doesn’t know what he’s asking out, you think, he doesn’t know what he’s trying to trust
which makes it all the more endearing to you
and it makes you want to make sure you live up to his expectations
this little mortal has you wrapped around his finger, and you don’t find yourself annoyed at all
in fact you want to shelter him and coddle him so badly that you’re tempted to act on instinct
tempted to. you can’t, because of a lot a lot of reasons
again, seriously, you’ve been hanging around mortals for far too long
you gently press his face into your shoulder. “aven-”
“kakavasha,” he corrects, “call me kakavasha. please.”
“okay, kakavasha.” you don’t hesitate, and you move to massage his scalp. “your real name?”
it seems like he’s in no mood to talk, because all he gives you is a quiet hum in affirmation; you agree with him, you don’t feel like talking much, either.
you pull away slightly to kiss right above his ear. then you did something he would’ve never expected you to do – with your nimble fingers, you wrapped the extra scarf in your hands around his neck, gave it a few loops then secured it with the same knot you use to secure yours.
what just happened
you slowly pull away with a soft pat to the piece of cloth
did you just give him…?
you did. you did, you mad danger noodle of incomprehensible mass
two faceless creatures with drool dripping from their maws stare at him
they’re connected to the scarf you put on him
he’s feeling so many things right now
even if he doesn’t quite understand what this means, he at least knows that you’ve given him a literal part of yourself
you’re very into this idea of being with him, huh…?
boy, he’s so glad he decided to confess
because he would’ve never known had he not asked
and what do you mean he would’ve missed out on something so wonderful?
this is also the first time someone outside of his family has ever given him something so precious and personal
he awkwardly reaches out to pet them
they nudge against his hand happily?
that’s weirdly adorable for a creature that has a diet of literal monsters
and much like satisfied pets, they disappear into the scarf after they’ve gotten their fill of petting
“for me?” aventurine- no, kakavasha asks, tentatively running his hands across the smooth fabric.
“proof of my loyalty to you,” you reply, taking his hand and placing kisses on his every finger.
what you don’t tell him is that your promise will last for eternity and beyond – even if you fight, or part ways, you’ll always watch over him. he doesn’t need to know that. not yet, anyway.
“you…” kakavasha feels like he’s a child all over again. he’s safe, he’s not making a wager, he’s not going to win or lose here, he can finally take a breather. “you have no idea…”
he buries his face into you, grabs your sides so he can press his body tightly against yours, and he sobs into your chest. he isn’t surprised at all that the scarf around your neck would wrap around him too, and he’s just all bundled up in you.
“shh, shh.” you pat his back and rock him back and forth. “easy now,” you whisper, “i’m here, kakavasha.”
aeons, he really, really loves the sound of your voice, especially when you say his name. when it was aventurine, you were reliable, loyal, and above all, gentle; when he finally allows you to call him kakavasha, every syllable from your lips drips with unspoken affection and a gratefulness that he’s unused to.
maybe someday he’ll finally be able to proudly profess his love to you. but at this very moment…
this is enough.
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"That's dumb," says Karna. "I think that's dumb. Why can the knight just jump over shit? What's so special about him, huh?"
"Just, uh. Just good at moving, I guess," says Colin, taking the black rook and placing it on his side of the table. It sits there, solid, beside the haphazard array of pawns and a single bishop.
Karna pouts a little. In front of her, on the table, there sit three white pawns, all stood perfectly in line. "'Good at moving.' Urgh. So am I. He's not special." She frowns, and moves a pawn two spaces forward. Colin winces involuntarily, and she glares at him. "What? What did I do?"
"So... I may have forgotten to mention this one. I, uh. I didn't really think it would come up for, uh. Longer than this. To be honest." He gives her a slightly wary look. "You... you ever heard of 'en passant'?"
"'In passing' in Fructeran," she says brusquely. "Now explain."
"Now- ok, I promise I'm not making this one up-" He moves a white pawn to just behind hers, which he smoothly plucks from the board and sets down amongst the cluster of other pieces in front of him.
There is a short silence.
"Are you kidding me," says Karna, voice flatter than the void of space, empty and silent and oh, so deep, and-
"To be fair, that- that's probably one of the stupidest rules I know. If that helps?" says Colin.
"Fine. Fine!" she says. "Sure."
"You know," says Colin delicately, "I could still-"
"No," snaps Karna. "You will not play without a queen." She glares at him with even more ferocity than usual, and lowers her voice to a dangerous drawl. "When I win. If I suspect even for a second that you went easy on me?" Her lip curls into a smirk. "Oh, that would be that last thing you ever did."
"Sure," says Colin. "I mean, sure. I just think it would make the game a bit more fun for you while you're learning. You know?"
Karna rolls her eye. "I want to lose."
"...What?" There is suddenly a deep, unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"I want to lose," she says. "Because it doesn't matter." She grasps his forearms and stares into his eyes, as though willing him to understand. "I want so badly to know what it feels like for losing not to matter. I want to know the loss that is an annoyance, not an ache, not a scar, not a slit throat or a knife in the gut and bleeding out on the pavement."
The hands holding him start to weaken. Rot starts to creep up her neck.
Her pupils are dark voids filled with spinning blades.
"It was too much," she says. "I was so tired. You saw." Her gaze is level, and he remembers running away, and running away, and running away, and looking back. "I was holding on to the edge for so long."
Colin wants to say something. He doesn't know what to say.
"But you can't hold on forever."
And she lets go.
---
He wakes up, and it is still dark, and he is alone.
He never knew her that well, but- she would have been good at chess, he thinks, if she had ever had a chance to learn. Not straight away, of course, but- in time.
No point in dwelling on it. He doesn't want to risk turning into Raphaniel, and- ok, that's another whole thing he's really not interested in delving into right now.
But- she held on for so long.
It seems like the least he can do, to make sure no one else ever has to stare into the void and cling to life so desperately that the muscle of their fingers rots down to bone.
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