#we are ignoring doa

[kanaiow]

Suegiku is the ship for me because

We have Jouno ex criminal now hunting dog trying to be a better person despite his sadistic tendencies finding fucking happiness and belonging saving people.

Then we have Tetchou whose whole ideals stem from justice, accepting Jouno, acknowledging the good in him and his efforts and their unity as partners and growing to care about him. Someone who doesn't exactly fit in his parameters of justice and morality. And changing because of that like???? AAH

He constantly affirms Jouno's efforts and just, is there for him when he feels like it'd be easier to be the sadistic manipulative guy he's always been. Tetchou calls him out on that and makes him realise the purity, the effort, justice and shit requires

Between the respect, the care, Tetchou putting Jouno above justice, them learning and growing from each other–its just brilliant.

[neonganymede]

WIP Wednesday #17

Another snippet from the next chapter of Bad Decisions!

“I can’t believe Laura’s alive,” said Sigma as he chewed around a mouthful of semi-stale popcorn. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been playing the game at this point, but he did know that they should have spread their snacks out a little more.

“Well, I can’t believe that Fyodor gets to have all the fun with Laura! It should be me playing her!” Nikolai complained woefully, as though crushed by such an obvious and devastating realization.

“And why is that?” Fyodor asked, deadpan. He’d leaned away from the two of them the moment Nikolai freed Sigma’s hair from its bun and began to braid it, irritated by Nikolai’s constant motion. He’d stolen the blanket and wrapped himself up entirely, only his face visible now.

“That should be obvious!” Nikolai tugged Sigma’s hair a little too hard; Sigma winced, his elbow shooting back instinctively to dig against Nikolai’s ribs. The only acknowledgment he received that Nikolai even noticed was a sloppy kiss to the top of his head before Nikolai continued, “She wears and eyepatch. I wear an eyepatch.”

“You aren’t wearing it now,” Sigma pointed out, but that only got him another sting of pain as Nikolai pulled on his half-woven braid.

“She was practically made for me to play her!” Nikolai claimed mournfully. He leaned toward Fyodor, taking an unwilling Sigma with him, so he could pout directly in Fyodor’s line of sight. “Fedya, won’t you switch with me? You can be Kaitlyn!”

Fyodor, with a heavy sigh, paused the game to consider Nikolai’s offer. He wore a frown, but even with the dark shadow Nikolai cast over his face, his eyes looked striking and thoughtful. A soft hum left him, the moment of consideration enough to have Sigma’s chest aching with dejected anticipation.

“Fedya, don’t!” Sigma argued, still clinging to the hope that Laura might survive to see the end of the game. It was a shame that Max had died so early, but he could at least want to save one of them, right? “He’ll just get her killed!”

“I’d never!” Nikolai gasped, scandalized, and gave Sigma a tight squeeze. “Need I remind you that I haven’t killed anyone! It’s mostly been dear, sweet, well-meaning Sigma!”

“Not on purpose!” Sigma wailed, squirming weakly in Nikolai’s grasp. He quickly gave up trying to escape and just slumped, sulking, and avoided Fyodor’s eyes. He didn’t want to watch the decision to happen in real time, didn’t want to see all of his hopes for even one survivor dashed so definitely.

“Laura will be completely safe in my hands!” Nikolai promised with a hand over Sigma’s heart instead of his own; Sigma didn’t have the energy to point out that he didn’t think that was how swearing worked.

Fyodor contemplated the offer for a moment longer before his shoulders lifted into a small, impassive shrug. “No.”

Nikolai’s mortified gasp sounded through the room, his eyes misting with shock and betrayal. He clutched at Sigma, hugging him the way one would cling to a teddy bear for comfort, and Sigma hoped that his head didn’t pop off.

“But Fedya!” Nikolai wailed, heartbroken. Sigma was sure he saw tears now. “Why not?! I’ve been so good this whole time!”

A claim that Sigma would dispute if he wasn’t gasping for air.

[stinkyme]

no im kidding im sure he smells amazing and his breath doesn’t stink

good....good....indeed....that's very true 💆🏻‍♀️

I actually think be does smell so good....especially his hair lordddddd

[sanest-bsd-delegate]

General Headcanons with DOA Boys

Headcanon: General headcanons of stuff I think they will do Pairing: Fyodor x reader, Nikolai x reader and Sigma x reader Genre: Fluff, lowkey crack A/N: Thank you dc person for that one fyodor headcanon. →Masterlist

Nikolai

He probably likes to eat mud for fun and force everyone to eat it

You both secretly sneekout of the hideout and visit beaches at night, having deep conversation which would end up with him filling your shorts with sand

he likes to place insects and rats in your closet stating it is a harmless prank. Not even Sigma is excused from his pranks

Nikolai irrespective of being a prankster would gift you with ice-creams and bakery goods [to lactose intolerant ppl, he gives u popsicles]

that was until he decided to prank you once day and put hair in your food

Never fell into his 'get in hole' game. You got stuck in it for 40 days without food and water. No kidding.

The mysterious hole is filled with nothing but junk.😭😭 very questionable junk

You both love to prank others though.

"Let's plant the bomb under Sigma's bathtub" "Extra points make it filled with pink glitter"

Sigma was covered in pink glitter for thirteen days.

But! Personally Nikolai would be one of the best cuddlers in the manga/anime

The first time he wore normal clothes instead of his usual multi layered buisness clothing, you were in tears. How could someone pull such simple clothes so fashionably?

You like to braid his hair. Even if you suck at it, he would wear your braiding loud and proud.

"Ahh quiztime! Who braided my hair?" "Sir this is-" "Wrong answer," boom "it's my love YN who braided it, you are no fun"

And that's how the city's McDonald's got blowed up.

overall he is a good insane boyfriend, so 10/10 cause I love him 😋

Fyodor

This man

I swear he is fine asf but would probably learn all the instruments you like so he can play it to you when you are kidnapped by Dazai most prob.

he is a Lil more insane then Nikolai so he would probably boom North Korea cause he was bored. [NK people i am jk-]

"what did you have for breakfast" "I don't know" "wrong answer" And the next moment you know, South of Yokohama got blowed up

He is the most broken richest man you ever met.

he can't buy clothes for himself or even upgrade the doa office but will gift you a wholeass country as a Birthday return gift.

you force him to wear dresses and paint his nails, 😭 but my man is so down bad that he is sub in this relationship.

"Sir we have bombed the tunne-" "Good verywell" "🧍🕯️" 😭 nah cause they are hella scared when he wears makeup.

He would probably take you to fireworks only for you to realise he is bombing the area again.

"fyodor, we talked about this" "No" and he proceeds to boom everything

he isn't much of a hugger and probably tries to runaway when you try to even touch him, but mf would suffocate you in his sleep with his hug

He probably had tried giving those evil laughs, but the moment he did that, he choked on air.

Me and a person on my server were having a convo and they said "He probably bites his nails to much and they are really short"

he owns a pet rat but denys it

honestly, he is a 10 but he is a terrorist who likes to bomb everything up. But he is your boyfriend and he is hot.

Sigma

-Are you the man of the relationship or he is?

he is more of a 'please don't kill anyone sweetheart' rather then supporting your actions and being a 'lets commit arson dear YN'

Mf is rich asf. He would deny it ofcourse and then proceed to shower you with silk clothes, Gucci , prada comfy…..such a sugar daddy

😭😭hear me out, he is a ball full of sunshine and anxiety but he wouldnt hesitate to kill anyone who does wrong to you or his casino.

-"Sigma am I your first priority?" "Yes-?" "Is the casino your first priority?" "Yes-?" "Me or the casino?" "Yes"

He probably cries everytime you ignore him.

HE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

once Nikolai kidnapped you for fun and man did Nikolai end up being half bald.

Sigma wants you to stay away from fyodor, because the last thing he knows is that he want to give fyodor a bombing partner.

Atp he doesnt want you to interact any of the DOA members, because little did he know, you will grow more insane with them.

I like to imagine you knowing Dazai and mentioning it to Sigma on occasions, and oh boy Sigma wanted to kill the man when he first met not because you talked a lot about him, but he would probably be the reason why you pull questionable strunt

10/10 Mama Sigma

He also doesnt allow you to run away freely in his casino, for all he knows is that you will cheat and win all the games.

He is so restrictive

You both probably or possibly may have this convo:

"BUT FYODOR GIFTED HIS S/O A WHOLE ASS COUNTRY, WHY CANT I GET THAT PLUSHIE??" "You cant cheat everytime to get the plushies" "BUT-" "Fyodor is a terrorist, we are not like them" "LEAST HE GIFTED HIS S/O-"

Your arguments probably never make sense to others, but its for you and Sigma to know.

Also he gave up on scolding you every time you try to eat casino coins.

He is such a 'I am trying to keep my S/O mentally sane' boyfriend, even if he needs to go to therapy. 8/10 bf material

Guys get a Sigma. Sigmas never disappoint.

A/N: Btw the discord server if you wanna join is here.

[starb3rrys]

Hiii I'm kinda new to Tumblr so idk how stuff really works here😭 but anyway are your requests open? If so, then I'd like to make a req but if not just ignore this!!

Umm so basically an nsfw oneshot(idk what you call it) or headcanons of how bsd men would react/deal the situation when you two are hiding in a very tight space and your crotches accidentally rub together? RHRHHT it's kinda weird describing it but let's just say [character] pushed you along with him into a locker/box with you sitting on top of his lap OR with you too close ttp that you two could feel each other with every inch you move

Uhhh and yeah that's it and feel free to add some touches and changes on the scenario, and I'd greatly appreciate it if maybe you add Nikolai in it😁🙏AND AGAIN IF U DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING MY REQ OR ISN'T ACCEPTING REQS RN THEN FEEL FREE TO IGNORE I HONESTLY DON'T MIND!!/lh /srs

OMG YES?! Ugh, I love this request! I wanted to add some more characters as well, So I picked the DOA (sorry) ＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／

If y’all want a part 2 with different characters just let me know, Im at your service! <3

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

A Tight Fit~

Ft. Nikolai, Sigma, Fyodor

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

Nikolai

Scenario: You were out on a mission with Nikolai, it should’ve been an easy “break in and grab important documents” type mission. But now, you two were squeezed together in a small closet, fearing that any small movement would get you two caught.

“Stay quiet...” Nikolai said as he listened closely, his face looked concentrated and serious, a change from his usual happy and calm face

You quietly nod, as you press against the wall behind you to try and get some more space in between you two

The closet is pretty small, hence why nikolai is leaning down, his hands are pressed firmly on each side of your head, inevitably pinning you in place

Nikolai thinks of a way for both of you to escape this situation without being spotted, “maybe I can teleport something”, he thought to himself

He reaches for his cape, unintentionally pressing against you

Your eyes widen as you feel something press against your area, you slowly look up to see if Nikolai noticed

His cheeks are flushed, hes frozen in place and there is an obvious smirk forming on his face

Yeah he definitely noticed.

You start to speak “Niko-… you’re so clo-“, he cuts you off as he places his hand over your lips

“Shh...” He says as he places a finger against his own lips with a small smirk

Moments later you hear the door of the office close, you two are now alone

“They’re gone now...” Nikolai says in a quiet gentle tone, he turns to you “But, i mean…we could just stay in here~” he says with a mischievous grin

Even after you two get out of that closet, he would keep on teasing and reminding you of the “incident”, he will make sure you never forget!~

Sigma

Scenario: You really don’t know how you got in this situation, one second you and Sigma were walking the streets of the city at night, after your wonderful date. The next, you were hiding in a small dark alley, your body pressed tightly against sigmas as you both hid from a certain jester.

“Damn it.” Sigma cursed under his breath as he kept his guard up, looking around frantically with a worried yet annoyed look

You looked up at Sigma, “Why are we hiding?” You whispered

Sigma looked down at you as he let out a sigh “I saw Nikolai roaming the streets, We can’t be seen together by anyone in the decay, if they were to find out about us...I’m sure horrible consequences would follow” he explained

You nod in agreement, “I understand..but um, why did we have to hide in such a...tight space.” You say as you look away, you can feel his body pressed tightly against yours, you can feel his every breath, his every shuffle and every slight movement

Sigma realizes this and blushes as his eyes widen, “I’m sorry, I didn’t even notice our position in the heat of the moment”

As he says this, you hear a slight noise come from the alley which causes you to slightly jump in a fright

Sigma let’s out a small grunt as he feels your crotch roughly brush against his, he grips your shoulders and holds you in place “Love please…try and stay still…at least for now” he pleads as his face flushes

Your eyes widen as you feel something slightly poke you “Sigm-“ you’re cut off as his hand covers your mouth, “Keep quiet..” he whispers as you hear footsteps around the corner

You feel him press more onto you, trying to hide your body from view as he lays his head against you shoulder, next to your ear

You slightly shuffle which causes sigma to groan in response, he quickly grips your hips with slight force

“Keep still..” he says in a low tone

Once you two finally get out of the alley way…let’s just say- his head was full of scenarios that caused him to blush profusely, as he practically dragged you to your apartment…

Fyodor

Scenario: Work has been so busy lately, new mission reports coming in everyday. Piles of finished and unfinished documents decorate your desk. All of this caused you to become stressed and overwhelmed, which caused you to become clumsy. So clumsy that you didn’t even seem to notice Fyodor turning the corner, not until it was too late.

**THUD**, is all that can be heard as your bodies crash together and fall to the floor

You feel extreme pain on your head as you let out a small groan of pain

You soothe your head and begin to slowly open your eyes, you try and comprehend what just happened as you hear a soft pained groan come from under you

You slowly begin to look down, your face flushes when you and Fyodor’s eyes meet

His eyes show slight shock as they quickly return to their neutral state, he just stares up at you…not uttering a word

You take a minute to process what is currently happening…and thats when you feel it, you feel something pressing against your area

You quickly get off Fyodor as you begin to apologize, “I’m so sorry! I should’ve been paying more attention!”, you ramble on apologies as you quickly stand up

He lets out a small chuckle as he stands up and brushes himself off , “No worries, more importantly…are you alright?” He asks with a bit of concern present in his tone

You nod as your face grows red, you begin to remember what you felt under you as you pray to god he didn’t notice

But, its like he can read you like a book, he smirks as he reaches for your chin, making you look at him “Yes,…I did notice and feel it” he says with a sly tone

You freeze in place as he says this, he then pulls away and softly smiles “Just be more careful and aware in the future, alright?”

He narrows his eyes as his tone changes to a more stern one, “Next time I won’t be so forgiving…~” he says as he begins to walk off

You’re left standing there shocked and frozen in place

He definitely enjoyed it, especially your cute reaction when you thought he didn’t notice. But for your sake he won’t bring it up, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t think about it constantly…~

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

Hi Hi! Sorry for the delay, work has been getting in the way but no worries im clearing out my requests!

I changed the scenario up a bit for Fyodor! (Sorry)

I appreciate everyone sending in requests! Love yall! <3

[luvfy0dor]

fyodor angst to fluff pls(reader scolds him for overworking then he gets mad so she gets sad so he feels bad basically 🐀)

"Breaks are good ♡" Fyodor Dostoevsky x GN!Reader !! ༉‧₊˚.

╰┈➤ Fyodor Dostoevsky ♡

Description; Fyodor is stubborn most times when it comes to putting a stop to his work, but if it's something his lover wants so badly for him, he might as well comply, right?

Warnings; Spoilers for Fyodors motive/DOA plan, angst, Idk if this counts as soft!Fyodor help

A/N; Sorry this took a couple days to put out, it's been quite a week dawg 🫥writing this out was like a retreat y'all don't even know

Fyodor had always been a man dedicated to his work, but you can't help feeling like sometimes he gets a little sucked into his task. Fyodor himself even knows it, though he will swear up and down that the amount of work he does is highly necessary. Every time he tries excuses his excessive working, you just sigh and shake your head. This time was different though, you were fed up.

Fyodor had a little room for himself, dedicated to his plan of ridding ability users from the world, that he would hole himself in to keep his focus. He didn't forbid you from entering, but he highly influenced you not to while he was hard at work. He didn't mind when you brought him tea or anything, but he got remotely ticked off when you would urge him to take a break or come to bed, insisting on another thirty minutes or so. Tonight, you decided that he needed to implement a habit of taking a break, he had to be exhausted, right?

You carefully stirred the tea that you made for Fyodor, walking slowly towards his little room. You gently knocked on the door, hearing a soft and muttered "come in" from the other side. When you opened the door, Fyodors eyes were still glued on the screens in front of him. You let out a soft sigh as you walked towards him, setting the tea in front of the man.

"Thank you, my dear." He said with a soft smile, grabbing your hand gently and kissing your knuckles. Your heart swelled a bit at his gentle action, but it only made you crave more attention from your boyfriend. "Uhm, fedya, I was thinking..." He sighed. "I already know what you were thinking, no. I need to get this done." He says firmly, his smile fading to a more neutral expression. You felt a small pang in your heart, a frown coming over your face.

"Come on, Fyodor. I can't keep letting you sit here and work yourself to death. It's all you do, work, work, work, and some more work." You said, a hint of annoyance in your voice, to which he side eyed you. "My dear, you clearly don't understand. Can we talk about this later? When I'm finished?" He says, his tone also slightly irritated. Your eyebrows furrow.

"No, Fyodor. We're not going to ignore this, are you not exhausted? Constantly working, you barely have time for me, let alone yourself! All I ask is that you take a break here and there, is it really that difficult?" You practically pleaded with the lanky man in front of you. He seemed as though he couldn't be bothered with your concerns, too irked by your constant insistence on him stepping away from his job for a while to even care.

He sighed heavily, swiveling his chair to face you. "You act as though you're the one doing the work. A break is unnecessary if I can just do it all in one sitting. That prolongs the ultimate time it takes me to get it done, don't you get that?" He replied, his thumb and pointer finger squeezing the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, but you're still overworking yourself! You do too much in such little time, you need to stop for a minute. Your work is like a plague to you, it consumes you entirely in the worst way possible." He rolls his eyes. "You're quite dramatic." He says, returning his attention to his screens. You felt hurt by Fyodors ignorance, furrowing your eyebrows and balling up your fists a bit.. "Wow, okay. You don't even care, do you?" You mutter. He takes a glance over at you before continuing his typing.

You sigh loudly before angrily speaking. "Why do you get so defensive every time I try to get you to take a break? There's no way you're not utterly exhausted will all of this, Fyodor." You desperately say, you voice cracking a bit as you try to get your point across to Fyodor. "You're only distracting me and wasting more time." He says, making your heart sink. "Wow, alright." You say angrily, your voice a bit shaky as you storm out of the room, slamming the door behind you.

You truly didn't get it, what was his problem with taking a quick break? It wasn't killing him, or anyone for that matter. There were so many reasons why a break is necessary; you knew his line of work was dangerous and put him directly in deaths way if he wasn't cautious, and had he died you would absolutely regret not pestering him. He could very much be overworking himself, raising his irritability and lack of energy. What you didn't understand was why he couldn't see the issue with his bad habit.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you marched your way back to the shared bedroom you and Fyodor had occupied every night; angrily crawling under the covers and huffing as you settled into a comfortable position, facing away from the door. You stirred with your angry thoughts, not even wanting to get water just because of the thought of running into your boyfriend. You were so mad that he wouldn't just be understanding of your side too, you genuinely wondered what had crawled up his ass tonight. I mean, is it seriously that difficult to just hear you out?-

"My dear..? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you like that."

His soft voice sounded throughout the bedroom, making your mind go quiet for a moment. You let out a small 'huff' to let him know you were awake, but still disgruntled over the whole conundrum. He sighed in response, quietly shutting the door behind him and cutting off any light from the hallway. You could feel the blanket lifting and the mattress dipping next to you.

"Did you want to talk about it..?" He quietly murmurs, trying to keep you calm as he spoke. You rolled over, sniffling and wiping any stray tears that had overflowed from your eyes. "Please don't cry, moya lyubov.." he says, his face seeming expressionless, but you could tell there was a smidge of guilt behind his pretty, purple eyes. You averted your eyes from his, your mouth hanging slightly agape as you gathered your thoughts.

"I just...Fyodor, you're gonna work yourself to death before you even get within arms reach of your goal." You say with a small frown. He just sighs, snaking one of his arms around your side to comfort you a bit. "I understand that you feel that way, but it's important that I get there as soon as possible." He says, using his other hand to brush some hair out of your face. You nod a bit. "Yeah...I guess you're right, but...could you please just start to take breaks? Just...you know, just five to ten minutes every couple of hours?"

He thinks for a moment before reluctantly nodding. "I suppose I could, but only because my health seems to be so important to my love." He says softly, gently kissing your forehead. You smile, kissing his shoulder in response. "Good, I get nervous that one day you'll...you know, die and I won't have as much time with you to look back on as I would like to." You murmur against the soft fabric of his sweater, hearing him hum in acknowledgement.

"That's understandable, dear." He sleepily says, stroking your back as he rests his head on top of yours. Your hand goes up to twirl some of his long, dark hair around your pointer finger, observing his tired mannerisms. "Fedya, look at you, you're falling asleep already." You let out a soft laugh, as real of a problem it was that Fyodor was overworking himself, he looked kinda silly all drowsy and sleepy.

A soft smile tugs at the corners of Fyodors lips. "Yes, you're right. I guess you do know me pretty well, don't you, my dear?" He murmurs, his eyes closed. You smile with your boyfriend and continue twirling his hair around you're finger. "Ofcourse I do, and I know that you need some time for yourself."

"Alright, I will take a break next time, I promise." He mumbles, falling asleep in your arms with yet another goal in mind; completing all of his goals healthily.

[darling--angst-archived]

The 'God', The Masochist, and the Crazy Scientist

I just found out that I'm anemic that's why I'm so frail and pale :'(

I twisted the plot a little

I actually don't know if Bram is made from human experimentation but I did it anyways.

TW! Explicit Language, Death, Human experimentation, Murder, Slight Yandere, Gore(?), Straight up crazy scientist, Slight suggestive content.

Pairing: Nikolai Gogol x Reader(you) x Fyodor Dostoevsky

Synopsis: F!Reader joins the DOA as their doctor because of her ability and piqued the interest of a certain clown and a person with God complex.

F!Reader has a personality like Mobius (Honkai) and Reader is a little unhinged

You were a normal doctor in Yokohama, working overtime. Now you were sitting across a wanted terrorist, offering you a job in their notorious group.

A few months back then the Port Mafia's boss, Mori Ogai came to your office to make you an offer to join them. You had great intelligence, but mediocre at combat, though you worked as a normal doctor, you had an ability: "The Souls of the Damned". Your ability allows you to bring the dead back to life through souls, but as the saying goes: an eye for an eye, it was the same for your ability, a soul for a soul. You must sacrifice an alive soul to bring back the dead. Soul Manipulation, is a better description of your ability; you can manipulate souls per will, to identify an ability user's soul they have a certain color in their soul's core. If you will bring back a dead ability user, you must exchange another ability user's soul. You owed favors from Mori Ogai, so you brought back dead people for him, he of course gave you the live souls. Yet, you didn't accept his offers. Which leads you back to now:

"Hello, miss Y/n" the Russian says from across the table.

"Well.. May I ask why you are here sir Fyodor?" you asked, offering him tea.

"Hm? Hibiscus?.. Though it seems you have already known my name." He said drinking the tea quite impressed.

"Of course.. Fyodor Dostoevsky, known as the face of The Decay of Angels." You said

"I have an offer to make for such an intelligent individual such you." He chuckled amused by you.

"..What is it?" You asked sipping your tea.

"Work as the DOA's doctor" he explained which piqued your interest.

"Hmm.? Why would a terrorist group full of powerful and dangerous ability users need a normal doctor like me? You sarcastically said raising a brow.

"Well.. To be precise we need your ability.. "Souls of the Damned" he smirked sinisterly sending shivers down your spine.

"Oh? What would I get in return?" You asked. There was no need to feign ignorance, he already knew it all.

"Advantages, and equipments for your experiments" he explained.

"Haii.. Same offers with the Port Mafia.. I must say it was quite a let down" you sighed dissatisfied. His eyebrow twitches from annoyance, yet still kept his facade.

"Then.. What do you want in return.?" He asked

"Guess it. After all, you DO believe you are smarter than me, don't you sir Dostoevsky?" You sarcastically said.

"Information."

"What.?" You said, eyes widened.

"You want information about THAT book" he said.

"Huh."

"Well I look forward to working with you Dostoevsky-kun" You said sitting up with him smirking.

He sat up and offered you a handshake, a very suspicious one. In every human body you can see their soul's color; normally a soul would be gray or slightly darker but his... It was pitch black. His soul's core was bloody red, the core is supposed to represent the ability; red, it means death. For him to offer you a handshake means he may kill you, yet it only excited you even more. You smirked accepting his handshake. When your hands met, his eyes could only widen, you were still there in one piece, alive and breathing.

"Your ability is as interesting and powerful as they say." He said pulling away. You could only chuckle in response.

"How rude of you Dostoevsky-kun.. already trying to kill me" you pouted sarcastically. He smiled in return, not a friendly one, the one that says "your correct" yet a little sinister.

"Well I must go.. Come here tomorrow" he said giving a piece of paper. As you opened the note, he closed the door. You could only clench your fist on what was written there.

"Сволочь..." You muttered. The note was quite unique, it's one that you have to decipher until tomorrow afternoon.

You spent the entire night, deciphering the note.. Actually you didn't, you put a tracking device on him earlier. As you looked at your computer for his location, it looks like he stopped at a certain building until he probably saw the tracking device and tossed it away.

The next day passed and you had no intention of actually coming to the building, because Fyodor found the tracking device it was most likely that you came but being the little bitch you are, you didn't. The afternoon passed and it turned into evening, the evening passed and midnight hit. You were taking a warm bath after you came home from your shift. As you finished bathing you noticed someone's presence in your home. You dressed and opened your laptop, water was dripping from your washed hair. As you typed, you got sick of the presence chuckling in the shadows so you decided to close your laptop and speak.

"Why do I owe the pleasure of you being here?"

Creeping up from the shadows, he finally decided to show himself, Nikolai Gogol.

"You're just as perceptive as Dos-kun said!" He excitedly said suddenly appearing beside you. As you took in his form, he was very tall. When your eyes met his, it was quite unique.

"As I said earlier, may I ask why you are in my home?" You raised a brow.

"Ah! right! I forgot about that part! Keke!" He chuckled.

"Dos-kun is annoyed because you didn't show up earlier!" He shrugged sitting on the table beside you.

"Oh.? He would actually be there?" You asked intrigued.

"Hueh?" He blinked twice not expecting that to be your answer.

"Since you already know the location by tracking him.. Let's go!" He said pulling your wrist to him as he put a cloth to your nose and mouth, drugging you. You passed out and fell on him as he chuckled.

"kekeke, works every time"

You woke up in an unfamiliar room, sitting up, dizziness caught up to you, your vision was very blurry, you looked around and there was Nikolai Gogol sitting beside you with an unfamiliar man.

"Maybe you added too much drugs onto the cloth.." A man with white and lilac hair could be seen uncomfortable and concerned.

"nah! I'm perfect at estimating! Keke" he replied. As you groaned in response, your vision finally became clear.

"See! She's awake already!"He exclaimed feeling proud.

"Are.. you okay.?" The other man asked feeling bad about your condition.

"Ugh.. Yeah.. I mean he could've used cholorform instead of Fluothane! tch!" You glared at Nikolai still feeling dizzy. He could only blink in response and chuckle while the other stood still.

"Let's start with introductions first shall we?!" He excitedly said.

"I'm Nikolai Gogol! My ability is Overcoat!" He exclaimed.

"I'm Sigma.. My ability is 'information exchange ability'.." help I don't know the exact name of his ability Sigma said looking away; as you observed him, he looked uncomfortable with Nikolai.

"I'm Dr. Y/n L/n, My ability is "Souls of the Damned". You said.

"I look forward to working with you Y/n-san!" Nikolai exclaims. Sigma could only nod at best.

Eventually, you met everyone of the Decay of Angels; including their leader, Kamui. Though you always tried to read everyone you met, you didn't try to read Nikolai; you didn't know why yourself but suddenly you felt reassured with him, Nikolai took noticed of that too.

You did experiments at your will and it all involved your ability so they gave you 'souls' or to be exact alive humans per your request. During your experiments Nikolai came for some unknown reason, during this time too..

"Hey~~ Dove~" He teased going down your lab stairs.

"Nikolai.? What are you doing here?" You were puzzled.

"I told you to call me Kolya! Hmph!" He pouted.

"...Fine.. Kolya" You murmured

"Finally!" He said jumping to you.

"Now what are you doing here?" You asked turning your head back to your experiments

"Well.. I was bored!" He exclaimed.

He took notice of the three bodies on the experiment table and asked:

"Hmm.? Why do you have three bodies here? Don't you usually do two?" He asked.

"I'm currently trying to bind their souls together then use the third body as a host" you explained putting your hands on the pockets of your blood stained lab coat.

"Well it's certainly bloody here!" He said looking around.

"May I watch?" He asked

"..." You still kept your cold poker face, you sighed and muttered a small "yes"

"Yay!" He celebrated and turned back to the side.

As the man strapped to the table awakens, he started struggling against his restraints and muffled screeches are heard from the other. This man was certainly interesting, his ability allows him to turn anyone to a 'vampire' immediately, that's why he has cloth on his mouth. The other 'patients' woke up and screams could be heard. You took the soul of the man on the side, it was an inhumane ability; one that grants immortality, he can't die. As you took his soul, his body slowly fades away turning into cold flesh. The man on the middle was a little calmer than the others, after all he did make a deal with Kamui. As you grabbed your knife you slowly made incisions as he groaned through the cloth. You took his soul as the man slowly became unconscious, your eyes widen at how pure his soul is. Taking both souls you binded them with the movement of your fingers. Crimson light covered the room as you laughed maniacally. In your hand was a soul, two pure and impure souls mixed together. The soul still has a core, it was crimson and in the middle was yellow; immortality and power. You succeeded, glancing at the body of the man, you caressed the soul, a sinister smile appearing on your lips. You controlled the soul at your will, as you slowly inserted it to the body of Bram Stroker.

With the insert of a soul to the unconscious body, he quickly awakens sitting up and groaned

"Hah! Finally!" You laughed forgetting the presence of Kolya.

The scene was watched by Nikolai until the very end. He was mesmerized by your beauty and craziness. Every flick of your finger, he felt his heart beating. Everytime you gave him attention and patience, you interest him. Every chuckle of yours, he wanted the be the reason of your chuckles and laugh. Everytime you smiled, he wanted that smile to be his and his only. He wanted you.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard your laugh. He smiled at the sight of you, bloody, messy hair and laughing maniacally. Now he noticed where you were looking, a man with pointy ears and crimson red eyes. For some reason Nikolai craved you your attention.

He walked closer to you, without you noticing. He applauded at you catching your attention. When you turned at him he was so close to you, your head facing his chest at how close he was. You turned your head up to make eye contact with him.

"Ah.. Kolya..." You murmured.

"Why hello Dove! I'm certain you forgot my presence since earlier!" He said with a playful facade.

"..." You looked away to the side. Without you noticing Nikolai shot Bram a cold glare in which he didn't notice.

"Anyways let's go! I have to make the experimentation records!" You said grabbing him by the hand, oh how excited you are. Your usual demeanor was replaced with happiness and excitement. His eyes widened at you holding his hand, you weren't looking at him so you couldn't see his blush. His attitude completely changed and kept his facade on.

"Then let's go to Kamui first! Keke!" He laughed and held your hand leading you to Kamui's office.

In reality, Nikolai didn't do that to see Kamui; he did that so he can hold your hand longer. After all, Kamui's office is very far from your lab. Minutes passed as you two walked together, hands intertwined, now you were Infront of Kamui's office, only when you were supposed so knock at the door did you notice you holding hands with Kolya. You took your hand away from his and cleared your throat to try and keep composure. You knocked on the door and entered not even looking at Kolya, you were too much of a blushing mess to look at him. You had a friendly conversation with Kamui, then as you told him about the experiment being a success, he's expression was full of sinister, not that you did mind.. As you lead him to the lab, you didn't see Nikolai perhaps he decided to annoy Sigma at the Sky Casino. The experimentation was a success, Kamui took in charge of Bram so luckily you didn't have to take care of a vampire. You did the records and most was fine. You had quite fun with Fyodor by playing chess and cards with him, he of course wins by a point or two much to his delight. He didn't find you as bothersome as back then in your first meeting. Sigma... was quite scared of your antics and you being a mad doctor but most of the time he finds you quite comfortable with.. in his eyes you are better than Nikolai, because you aren't THAT crazy like him; For Sigma you are the better choice than a masochist with God complex who calculates his every move. The DOA got used to you being company to them, and you got used to how weird each member is.

A few months passed since you joined the DOA and Nikolai became more flirtatious and he initiated physical contact a lot. You and him kept on friendly terms as he refused to accept the lingering feeling he has for you. Eventually you learned more about The Book. You didn't plan on using it or anything, you just planned on studying it and maybe making a few writings on the book if you can, it depends on the possibility of getting the Book. After learning that Sigma was from the book, you were absolutely... pissed.

"Fyodor.." You barged into his room with a glare.

"Y/n.. What brings you here without even knocking.?" He raised a brow shifting his attention from Nikolai to you.

"I need to talk to you. Privately. Five minutes at minimum" You looked at Nikolai as he pouted. Fyodor nodded at Nikolai and he sighed, standing up from the table, he left closing the door.

When he left Fyodor stood up and walked over to you. You clenched your hand and grinded your teeth. He stopped Infront of you and lifted your chin up with his hand. As he took the sight of you his was a little shocked. You always tried to keep composure, you never really shared when you're angry, you just had a cold face, yet now you were certainly angry trying to calm down.

"Now. tell me what's wrong милый?" He asked you coldly.

"Why didn't you tell me..?" You muttered.

"Hmm.?" He asked raising a brow.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me about Sigma being from the book?!" You snapped clearly angry at him. After snapping at him Fyodor was certainly pissed yet kept quiet.

"Huh. You knew from the fucking start since you made me that offer a few months a ago.. Сволочь." You hissed. He suddenly grabbed you and pushes you to his desk.

"Ah! Fyodor?!" You exclaimed. Now your back was on his desk, he was on top of you holding your arms above your head. He placed his leg in between yours as his face started getting closer to yours.

"I really don't appreciate you screaming at me like that, Дорогой.." He said with a low tone.

"Besides.. You never asked did you.?" He whispered in your ear. You chuckled before swiftly switching positions with you now on top.

"Fyodor... How could I know.? After all you did not fullfil the terms of the contract did you?" You said to him leaning on his face.

"Or perhaps.. You're not a man of your word?" You seductively whispered leaning on his ear as he snapped. He pushed you away and pinned you to the wall.

"You really do know how to piss me off, don't you Милый?

"Ugh.!" You groaned as he tightened his grip on your wrists.

"Stop with the nicknames Fyodor, I'm not your 'love' or your 'darling'." You hissed. He leaned to your neck and chuckled.

"Whatever you say Моя любовь" He exhaled his warm breath hitting your neck.

"mmh.." you huffed.

"Stop resisting me Любовь.." As he leaned closer to your neck. He stopped and looked at you for a second. You were looking up at him, wrists red from his grip and his body leaning close to yours, for him your current state was a sight to behold, his favorite part was your glistening lips. As he leaned in, you turned your head to the side. He held your wrist together with his right arm, as his other arm made it's way to your chin grabbing it. He forces you to look at him and as he leaned to your face, the door barged open.

"Alright! Time's up!!" Nikolai halted when he finally saw the two of you. Fyodor let you go, as you stretched you arms; he grabbed you by the waist and whispered to you:

"We'll continue this later милый" He pulled away from you and gave you peck on your head.

"Whatever" you glared at him walking towards the door as Nikolai stood still and Fyodor smirked at you. The door closes and Nikolai was there facing the door.. speechless. His expression darkens and his fist clenched as you left.

[emilover-1]

NIKOLAI ANALYSIS!!!! also some Fyolai analysis

To talk about Nikolai, the first thing about him that should be talked about is his views on freedom

What Nikolai is meant to represent is that there are no limits for humans, that humans can do anything, cruel or good things, humans can do it, what Nikolai thinks is that there is no such thing as ‘no human could be capable of killing their friend’ or that ‘no human is capable to be free’, because for Nikolai what the society thinks and puts limits to what a human can do or can’t is being in a cage. The limits being the consequences to crimes, and thoughts being what society thinks of someone, the judgement. That’s where his comparison comes from, a bird in a cage is what humans are, and a bird out of the cage is something that humans most of the times don’t dare to.

(ignore the quality pls)

Even though he is drawn to justice, he still chooses to support the DOA because of the evil in it, as I said before, he wants to prove that there are no limits for humans, humans can do and are capable of making very cruel things, however most of the people don’t do that because of the fear to consequences and because of morality, being why Nikolai says that it is brainwashing, because it is imposed since someone is very young, which leads that when people are older, they have that morality, being a gray, white or even sometimes black morality, it doesn’t matter because those people still have that morality imposed by society, it is imposed by family, schools and even friends.

Nikolai says that the cage is the skull, the logic behind it is that in the skull the brain and everything else comes to work together, the brain thinks of things even though you don’t want to think that, the brain is responsible for everything in your body, and therefore the skull is the cage, the skull is a cage for everyone, and the only way that someone ends up being free is being dead, once you die you don’t have to worry about anything at all, you cant move, you cant think, you are alone once you die because once you die everything is black for you, which is equal as freedom.

His quote “we can’t leave that warm, wet hell” refers to the body and brain.

Let’s go now to the second topic and how it is very related to the first one.

This may seem like it is not related to freedom, however for Nikolai, freedom truly is when you don’t have to think about morality, when you don’t have feelings attached to morality, when you don’t have anything attached to morality, that’s truly freedom for him, however how is it related to losing yourself? Nikolai doesn’t want to be limited to what society thinks, however he is, he isn’t free yet and he cant be totally free when he is alive, that’s why he opposes to God as a scream to be free and fights to lose himself, he doesn’t want to be limited by his personality and become predictable, what Nikolai wishes is to not be able to feel guilty at all, that’s part of the freedom he wants and considers, he wants to be able to have different thoughts, commit crimes and do things considered as unthinkable by society without being able to feel guilt.

It’s more than obvious that he wishes to not be aware of the cage he is in, birds die not knowing the freedom they could have had, not knowing that they are prisoners living in a cage; that’s what he wishes and why he is jealous of Tonan, Tonan is not aware that he is in a cage, he would die not knowing that he is a prisoner, dying happily inside of the cage, never being free at all.

Let’s go to his other philosophical way to think.

What do I think his philosophical way to think is? Absurdist.

The best way to be free would be dying, committing suicide, however Albert Camus thought that the act of escaping our lives does not counter the absurd and rather in the act of ending our lives, our lives become only more absurd, how does this connect to Nikolai’s mentality?

Nikolai knows that ending our lives would be the most easy way to be free, however it would also not prove what he wants to prove, becoming the act of suicide a absurd thing, which is why he ends up not dying, the plan was for him to really be killed, however he escapes to prove what he wants, that a human can do ‘unthinkable’ things to become free, that a human can do anything, there is no limit

Let’s go now to his relationship with Fyodor because it is very mischaracterized, the topics about fyolai will be; Nikolai’s obsession and wish to kill Fyodor, how Fyodor does NOT care for Nikolai and doesn’t see him as an equal.

His obsession with Fyodor comes from feeling misunderstood, then he meets Fyodor and Fyodor is the first person to understand him, then, Nikolai comes to a realization, that if he wants to be truly free he has to kill Fyodor. To show what humans are capable of, to try to not feel so guilty when killing, to be free and fight what society thinks and imposes. A common thing I’ve seen is that a lot of people think that he wants to be free from all emotions, but I don’t think so, I think that he only wants to be free from guilt, from morals and from society itself. About Fyodor, Fyodor understands Nikolai because he is very smart and analyses people very good, however he doesn’t see Nikolai as his equal, his only ‘equal’ is that man and Dazai, and Dazai isn’t totally his equal since Dazai could be very much said that he is an atheist and an ability user.

The chapter 111.5 was truly a very good show of how Fyodor does not care for Nikolai, even BEFORE this chapter got out it was OBVIOUS that he didn’t care about Nikolai, he uses them for his own benefit, as a matter of fact he doesn’t even trust Nikolai, I don’t blame him because how are you going to trust them if they tried to kill you, however the most easy way for Fyodor to get out of Meursault would have been asking Nikolai to bring him back to Yokohama or wherever he wanted to go next instead of going to the helicopter with a vampire driving. Show that Fyodor doesn’t care about Nikolai is the disinterest he shows to Nikolai, he seems disinterested and is only interested when Dazai could die too, Nikolai seems very happy however Fyodor doesn’t even look interested, in the chapter 111.5 Nikolai seems sad at Fyodor wanting to kill him too, and I don’t blame them either since Fyodor was the first person to them to understand them, and Nikolai seemed very excited to see Fyodor again, and its just sad Fyodor’s reaction because it is totally disinterested.

Fyodor doesn’t see Nikolai as an equal despite what a lot of people think, Fyodor sees God as his superior, then he is below God as he is God-sent, and the only equals he has or had was that man mentioned and Dazai. Dazai despite probably being an atheist and also being a ability user, he is on the same level of intelligence as Fyodor, they are both very similar despite that, and therefore Fyodor considers him as an equal but not God-sent. Then, there are sinners, which are people without an ability and are below Fyodor, then finally there are the worst kind of people for Fyodor, which are even more sinners that the people without the ability which are the ability users, and therefore he doesn’t consider Nikolai as his equal, remember that someone ‘worthy’ doesn’t instantly mean equal, and I don’t even think Fyodor sees Nikolai as a worthy ‘opponent’, I genuinely think that Fyodor sees Nikolas only as an opponent, though not worthy enough to be an equal.

Thank you for reading my analysis!

[wizardfrog69]

HEY MISTER!!!! I'M BACK FO HAUNT YOU WITG MY REQUESTS (sorry if it's getting annoying)

Another request about DOA & a kiddo:

Nikolai dragging Fyodor to an orphanage, because he wants to make fun of the kids with his countless amount of "NOT your mom, lol" jokes. Fyodor asks one kid their name and BOOM IT'S (random Russian name idfk) DOSGOYEVSKY

So turns out Fyodor has a younger sibling (could be around 14-16, or younger), so they take the kid who is: *drum noises* T R A U M A T I S E D

Yes the kiddo probably got taken away by CPS and got put in an orphanage because yes (you can choose whyyyyy), and somehow Fyodor doesn't know

The questions:- DOA's reaction and how Fyodor treats/raises the kid, and do the others help?

Yeah that's it, sorry that the request is so weird but i can't really think of a normal way to explain this (sorry again)

Omg you called me Mister! :) that made me smile as soon as I saw it :)))

Thank you for your request, and dw, I will never get sick of your request.

'•.¸♡ traumatised siblings ♡¸.•'

Fyodor x teen/Fyodor's sibling/reader

Fluff ig

Masterlist

Enjoy!

(For some reason it will be third person for a while)

'Fyodor!' A loud shout came from behind Fyodor. He did not bother to look behind him, knowing all too well what he was about to get into. 'Quiz time! Where are we going today?!' Nikolai exclaimed excitingly. 'No where, I'm working.' Fyodor replied. 'Wrong! I'll give you a hint. There are a lot of abandoned things there.' Nikolai responded. 'I'm still not going with you.' 'Not even to an orphanage?' 'No.' 'But you can't work all day! You need to have fun from time to time!' 'No.' 'Come onnnnn, let's goooo, please?!' Nikolai pleaded.

Nikolai's strategy was to annoy Fyodor until he gave in, which surprisingly worked. 'Fine.' Fyodor sighed defeated. 'Yay!' Nikolai cheered while giving a little jump. 'Let's go to the car!' 'I'm driving.' 'No fair, you always drive.' 'You can drive alone if you'd like.' 'Fine, fine, let's go.' The two of them left and headed for an orphanage.

Nikolai walked into the building proudly with Fyodor following him. 'Why are we at an orphanage.' Fyodor sighed. 'Hey, kid!' Nikolai shouted to a child looking at him confused, completely ignoring Fyodor's queries. Nikolai walked off to make fun of some kids, asking about their parents and making fun of them. Fyodor didn't care for such entertainment and walked off to sit somewhere.

Fyodor found a bench to sit down on, but before he could sit, a child caught his eye. The child was sitting by themselves scribbling on a piece of paper. A dark shadow covered their desks, causing them to turn around in a small fright. 'Can I help you?' The child asked calmly. 'What are you doing?' Fyodor asked, taking a seat next to them. 'My homework?' They replied. Fyodor could not shake this feeling of familiarity for some reason. 'What is your name?' He asked, examining the kid and the sheet of paper. 'Ehm, [Russian name*] Mikhaylovich Dostoyevsky/Mikhaylovna Dostoevskaya, why?' Once Fyodor heard that name, he knew who the person in front of him was.

'I'm your older brother.' After Fyodor announced this, the kid was shocked, to say simply. 'Wait, what? How do you know?' They asked, confused. 'Would you like to leave this place?' Fyodor ignored their questions with ease. 'Yes, what's your name?' 'Fyodor Mikhaylovich Dostoyevsky.' 'Oh! мать (mat' - it's supposed to mean mother) told me about you.' 'Is she alright?' 'Oh... I guess you haven't heard. She's dead now.' The atmosphere turned cold. Fyodor felt sadness. He did not expect to hear about his mother's death. 'What about father?' 'He's also dead, mother died and two years after, father died. I'm sorry no one told you, we didn't know where you were.' 'It's alright.'

The conversation was cut short for Nikolai came back. 'Hey! I see you found one! I'm bored, dostoy, can we go back?' Nikolai asked. Without a word, Fyodor stood up and left. 'I'm still driving.' 'Hey, no fair!'

(Now it's second person for some reason)

You were now living with Fyodor. He was always busy with something, but he tried to make time for you. It still surprises you that you found your brother. You always thought you would never see him or that he was dead. Now you were sitting in his kitchen doing your homework. You were stuck on one question, and since you were meant to call Fyodor to eat, you decided to ask him. You knocked on his door, telling him the time. Fyodor looked back at you and turned to the computer, typed for a short while, and walked up to you. 'Do you need something?' Fyodor asked. The two of you began walking out into the kitchen.

'Well, I'm stuck on a question in my homework...' 'What is it?' 'I'll show you.' Once the two of you reached the kitchen, you grabbed your book and pointed to the question. Fyodor studied the question and proceeded to ask you,'Well, what kind of responsibilities does an employee have to an employer?' 'I don't know, that's why I'm asking.' 'What kind of responsibilities do you have at school then?' 'To be on time for every class, to do my work, to respect my teachers.' 'Now just think of it as work and answer the question.' 'Okay, thanks.'

(Now it's first person, sorry my brain is broken)

Fyodor often talked about going back home to pay his respects to our parents, I don't want to go back there, but how can I tell him that? He'll hate me for it, for sure! I don't want to tell him why I ran away, nor what happened.

(Back to second person)

You were so afraid, and to your fortune, Fyodor noticed. 'Do you not want to go back?' He asked, his voice is always cold, but for some reason, this time you felt shivers running down your shine with every breath he took. 'I do, of course.' You tried your best not to stutter or seem unsure, but Fyodor caught wind of it all despite your best efforts to hide your fears. 'What did they do.' Fyodor's question sounded more like a demand than a question, but you unwillingly answered it anyway.

While you stutteringly explained everything, with tears in your eyes, Fyodor remained motionless. He only sat there and listened. 'You can still go to them if you want to.' You ended. 'No, I'm not going.' Fyodor stood up and looked down at you. '...I'm sorry.' You could tell it was hard for Fyodor to say those simple words, but they were nice either way.

'You are coning with me to work today.' 'Why?' 'I want you to meet my coworkers, and if I'm not here, you should talk to them if you need anything.' 'Oh, okay. But where will you go?' 'I don't know yet.'

You walked into a building with was in the sky. The inside of the building was rich with expensive furniture and style. The people walking around were excited to lose their money, and the workers were happy to be working. Fyodor knocked on a door and walked in. A strangly looking man looked up and stood up as soon as he saw Fyodor. 'Dostoyevsky?' 'This is my sibling, [name] Mikhaylovich Dostoyevsky/Mikhaylovna Dostoevskaya, [name] Mikhaylovich Dostoyevsky/Mikhaylovna Dostoevskaya this is Sigma.' 'Nice to meet you.' Sigma replied.

Sigma had no idea what to say. He never thought of Fyodor as someone who had a family, and seeing his sibling just made him really confused. ' [name] wait outside, I need to talk to Sigma.' Fyodor commanded, and you obliged. Fyodor could be telling Sigma anything at the moment, but you did not interfere and waited patiently for Fyodor.

A couple of long minutes later, Fyodor came back and informed you of his later plans. 'I need to tell Nikolai something, and we'll head back after stopping by somewhere for a short while.' 'Okay.' You still had no idea why you needed to come with him, but you went alongside him anyway.

You arrived at another building, Fyodor knocked on the door, and the same guy you saw at the orphanage opened the door. 'Dostoy?' He asked. 'We need to talk about the next job.' Fyodor demanded. 'Okay, come in. Wait! You brought one back?' Nikolai asked while rudly pointing at you. 'They are my sibling, can we come in?' 'What?!??! Dostoy had a family!' Nikolai exclaimed. Ignoring Nikolai Fyodor walked in, and you shyly followed. 'Sit here.' Fyodor ordered while gesturing to a couch while he left with Nikolai to discuss work matters.

Nikolai's living room was not all that bad. There was an open book on magic performances in the middle of the coffee table, but other than that, the place was not entirely special. After plenty more minutes, Fyodor came back with Nikolai and told you to get up. You did as told and followed him out the door and back into the car. You never questioned Fyodor on what he did or why, but at times like these, you wanted to. Fyodor started the car and the two of you drove off.

When the car stopped, you looked up from your phone, but instead of the house, you saw a supermarket. You looked at Fyodor confused and asked why you were in front of a shop. Fyodor explained that you two needed to shop for food from time to time. When you went in, Fyodor told you to get anything you needed (or wanted), and he took out a shopping list, taking everything he needed from the shelves.

༺♡༻ 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 ⋆ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 ༺♡༻

* Fyodor's siblings are Lyubov Dostoyevskaya, Nikolai Dostoevsky, Vera Dostoevskaya, Varvara Dostoevskaya, Alexandra Dostoevskaya, Mikhail Dostoevsky, Andrei Dostoevsky sorry if any of them are misspelled.

Sorry, I forgot how every character acts :')

I probably should rewatch bsd so I'll remember the characteristics and mannerisms of the characters, but for some FUCKING REASON MY BRAIN HATES ME and it won't let me watch the show in peace. Also I'm rewatching so many shows at once without watching any of them and it's just easier not to watch it yk.

Have a wonderful day/night and eat some fruit for vitamins and other nutrients.

-love, Az the wizard frog :)

[merrysithmas]

missed opportunities with Spock & medicine in SNW

Okokok I didnt mind Spock & Chapel as I felt it was well-written (in conjunction w Spock & T'Pring) for the two of them and simply a stepping stone/arc to his further character development and exemplified his struggle converging his dualistic origins

but

Spock in TOS has an extreme (and to an outsider, illogical) aversion to medicine/medical procedures/medical personnel as evidenced by his deep mistrust of McCoy in TOS. I always postulated this is because he was mistreated or belittled or made to feel "wrong" by Vulcan medical facilities as a child given that he is a biological hybrid.

This "illogical" aversion to medicine is not based on the Scientific Fact that he as a science officer treats as secular gospel -- but is instead a result of his injured emotional nature, which felt ostracized and likely put on display as some kind of marvel/freak by the professionals he likely dealt with as a child.

I have a whole other post about Spock & Medicine and how his cantankerous and frequently mocking relationship with McCoy both displays his anger/disgust with the limits of the profession and, eventually, the healing of this wound via his friendship with Dr McCoy.

In TOS Spock dismissively refers to medicine as "potions" which make him feel sick and nauseous - (likely a side effect of his hybrid physiology where no medical traditions from either Vulcan or Terran origin completely mesh with his genetics or organs/hormones). Thus, even when he can get help from a compassionate provider - it likely does not help all the way or is uncomfortable to endure.

Discovery took this one step further and had Spock literally institutionalized because his emotional break following his visions/hallucinations which further highlights an origin for Spock's mistrust and distaste for medicine. We learn his visions were a result of an explicable cause & that medicine failed Spock yet again.

These experiences can even be applied to TOS and also color his relative annoyance with Nurse Chapel's one-sided affections.

Spock does not like doctors or nurses.

And he has good reason to fear and mistrust them despite his logical knowledge of their professionalism or expertise. Spock is scared, burned, and embittered by medical efforts and endeavors.

It is the one overt example in TOS where his human emotionality overtakes his logical mien almost effortlessly and with visible sharp resentment towards McCoy in almost every conversation they have.

Strange New Worlds seems to forget this important part of Spock's character which was evident in TOS (and eventually resolved by his friendship with McCoy), and expanded on in Disco with his institutionalization.

Sadly, his relation to Medicine in Strange New Worlds is a nonissue that pretty much ignores the canon in those two series - whether it is in a scene with Dr M'Benga or Nurse Chapel. It does not seem given the other canon he would ever be as cooperative or receptive to their treatments or suggestions.

However, as Spock is being written in this series to have mental duress over his "opposing" halves as personified by his desperate attempts to make two DOA romances with both T'Pring and Christine work - it seems this would be an important and relevant topic to broach considering Christine is in fact a nurse, and a representation of a system that has so far at this point in his life failed, harmed, and excluded him.

Not only that, but T'Pring is essentially the equivalent of a Vulcan psychiatrist.

It is fascinating that Spock, reviled and mistrusting of both medicine and psychology, sandwiches himself between a nurse and psychiatrist.

Despite his bone-deep betrayal by both of these institutions he finds himself indeed broken by them: beholden and shackled to the need for their love and approval - as deeply unhappy with himself as he is.

Spock, through these two flailing and ill-begotten relationships, continues to subconsciously punish himself for the truth.

That he is neither nor both - and there is no way to define him except by himself alone.

And that is what he fears the most: that he is truly alone in the endless universe.

Recognizable to no one.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Yeah, Teruko was the one that made me realize the sexisim that existed in BSD when I first binged it. Or, more accurate, what TYPE we're dealing with. The female characters can exist and have their own moments, but they can never outshine the male characters and Asagiri can also allow himself to forget them if he needs to. When I read Stormbringer, one of the things that stood out to me is the fact that no female character has any prominent role until like, 200+ pages in, and what role Kouyou got was so minimal she might as well not have shown up at all. Yosano has a huge important backstory that doesn't become relevant until SEASON 4 while most of her male companions have had theirs explored way before her. It's disappointing, but I genuinely find Teruko intolerable and find her to be the worst written character in the entire series. It's not her fault, but her behaviour around Fukuchi and her ability was just horrid to me. Her ending here just enhances all the issues that already existed in her character for me. She's the only female character in this series I can't stand and that SUCKS because I want to love them all, but Asagiri is making that mighty difficult when he pulls stuff like this :/

(´；ω；｀)

The almost complete lack of female characters is personally my greatest disincentive to reading Stormbringer (together with the lack of ss/kk. Discredit where it's due).

Teruko's role this whole doa arc has been.. Saddening? I feel all the hd have a lot of untapped potential; but whereas with Fukuchi and Tachihara and even Jouno it's like, you know what's their deal, there's so little we know about Teruko and Tetchou's motivations and backstory. And even when both had their occasional times to shine - I like Teruko's scenes in the Sky Casino arc! A lot! I think they make for a very cool character! -, there's the whole deal with Teruko in the airport arc which is just :/// Like, she's just there to move the plot forward. She was very pretty in chapter 105 and made me feel like she had some further insight in the whole picture, like she had taken a stand and had a motive, but in the end it was never elaborated on, and I'm very sorry for that. Way worse, she was exclusively delegated to the role of numbly moving the plot forward, which is just wholly unfortunate. Why did she let Atsushi go just like that, like, really?? Oftentimes women's role in this franchise is truly meaningless. I don't really care for what side she was going to take in the end, I just wish she was just handled more sensibility, more respectfully. But alas. Hoping she'll get some spotlight in the future, because I really like her.

I like Teruko! Like, I genuinely get where you're coming from, and your reasons for not liking her are very valid. To me it's more about straight-up ignoring some stuff I don't like (REALLY can't vibe with the Fukuchi worshipping, I find it quite gross to be honest) and emphasizing the aspects I do like. I like how she's unapologetically mean - honestly, not many female characters get to do that. She gets to be a villain -, but I also like how it's compensated with a very strong moral code and genuine intent to protect citizens. I love lots of her scenes in the Sky Casino arc: her interactions with Tachihara are funny and vaguely wholesome, her determination and resourcefulness to win over Sigma is so cool, and her reluctance to hurt citizens, and the scene where she stopped an aircraft with her bare hands!!!! Honestly, banger after banger after banger, looking back at it that's probably why I held such high expectations for her character. Despite personally wholly disagreeing with bsd's morale, even Teruko's enouncement of her Hobbesian principles is enjoyable for me, because it's quite rare to see a woman preach such realist, cynical worldviews; if anything, it's refreshing. I think her ability is super cool and original, I love it tons!! I really like her character design, too. I like how she's of the highest grade compared to all other hd members minus Fukuchi and I like how she can be childish and keep them in line at the same time. I like how more mature and savvy she looked in her latest airport arc appearances, how she looked tired of war on par with Fukuchi. I wish she was given more screentime and importance and agency, and I wish the mess of the last chapter didn't happen, but I like her personality.

On her ability, I think it's pretty cool, and neutrally problematic by its own; but I do agree that between Teruko having child appearances and being obsessed with a grown-up man, the whole Mori deal, Aya proposing to Kunikida in chapter 40, the chapter 107.5 page that left everyone perplexed and was only later on clarified by the anime, (and, regretfully, even how the Kyouka / Atsushi dynamics are framed in some of the earlier chapters), it creates a very distasteful pattern.

I really like Yosano's backstory (really. I've said it a lot of times before, but I think chapters 65-66 are the best written chapters in the whole manga.), but it's not like just because of two small chapters that center around a woman after 15 volumes of male spotlight bsd suddenly stops being sexist lol. And that's something I've already said before, but: Yosano's chapters are beautiful! But they don't really help empower female characters in this franchise. Yosano completely lacks agency in the story, which is FINE for the story on its own, yet in the context it simply does nothing but reinforce the fact that women can't be masters of their fate.

I also strongly agree with the fact that female characters are accurately written as to never outshine their male counterparts. As someone else has pointed out before, both Kyouka and Higuchi have respectively saved Atsushi and Akutagawa's lives (in Kyouka's case, multiple times), so why is it that Atsushi and Akutagawa don't serve them the same respect and admiration that they hold for them? The double standard is really blatant once you start seeing it.

I've written more on bsd's sexism here, if you'd like to check it out. Even though it's very important to read things critically and acknowledge franchises' faults, I still can't help but feel bad for spreading negativity (╥﹏╥) Here's to hoping the bsd writing of female characters will improve in the future!!

[incorrecthuntingdogs]

"#i have a post canon ''au'' where the ada is forced to (temporarily) take in the disbanded Hunting Dogs"

what??? that sounds so cool??? can we hear more about it

Gladly! I'm happy to get to talk about it :D even though it's sort of a loose concept lol

This is excluding Tachihara (for obvious reasons) and Fukuchi; as much as I would want him to spend time and properly reconnect with Fukuzawa, I doubt he'd get the opportunity to after the whole mess with the DOA, either because he's going to jail, or... well, that other thing...

So anyway, I see two possible reasons for this, one of which being related to Yosano's ability and the surgeries (credits for the idea to @sinetempore lol) or the less likely but far funnier option of Kenji dragging Tecchou to Fukuzawa like "can we keep him :D".

On the one hand we have some very awkward interactions with the people that were literally hunting you down like a week ago, which is equally uncomfortable for both parties. They'd eventually warm up with each other (Tecchou and Kenji setting a good example by being the only ones actually interacting with each other casually at first), but until then no one is having fun with the arrangement. And everyone is aware it won't ever happen for some of them. Jouno and Kunikida just sort of ignore each other completely, and you won't ever find them alone in the same room.

(I feel like Lucy would get involved in this process too, probably dragged in by Jouno who noticed that she used to be in a similar position. She is, in fact, even more wary of them than the ADA members, the only exception here being Tecchou.)

On the other hand, though, this opens some really nice angsty possibilities for the Hunting Dogs, and I'm not talking about the physical ones. We don't know how long they've really existed, but assuming it's between 6 and 14 years the chains of the government must be imprinted so deeply in their minds. And without the surgeries, their capacities are nowhere near as where they used to be; and that's leaving the side effects of not receiving them anymore aside. Imagine them out on their first new mission and failing. Imagine their panic. All aside from the punishment they would have received as Hunting Dogs, failure simply isn't a familiar feeling for them anymore. I doubt Fukuzawa would send them away all on their own for multiple reasons, and the ADA members accompanying them are... concerned, to say the least. It takes a long and sort of one sided conversation to even figure our what's wrong, and even longer to sort it out. It was, in fact, the first and last time Jouno and Kunikida actually talked to each other. Neither of them ever acknowledged it again later.

On the OTHER other hand, we could get the friendships I want to see so badly. Ranpo and Teruko. Dazai and Jouno. Guys I'm not joking I need Dazai and Jouno to be friends so badly. They (and Fyodor) are in fact the only characters I have not one, but two childhood friends AUs for. I need to see them together.

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

Honestly I was kinda shocked how little attention Invictus got. Most royal watchers I follow completely ignored it or made 1 or 2 snarky post but that’s it. Even in popculture it wasn’t covered well.

Harry went from having the queen, the entire RF and Michelle Obama promoting it to this sad display. I think the German president attended one of the games but he didn’t even take a pic with the ginger. I used to get a lot more press about H&M despite avoiding it to having zero including during august/September which were supposed to be their big moments.

Wild how they don’t get any attention unless they talk about the RF. I suppose they realise that subconsciously because why else would they restart the royal cosplay

They realize it consciously. The “we’re big Hollywood celebs and we don’t need the royals” pr drive was DOA.

[gu1lty-as-sin]

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐬

𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐎 ☆ they/she ☆ minor (xiv) ☆ bisexual ☆ cancer sun, libra moon, sag rising ☆ intp-t ☆ aus ☆ either a celestial god or a pebble ☆ anxious mess ☆ i change my theme way too much ☆ sparkling water > regular water ☆ in love with piercings and wants all of them ☆ professional procrastinator ☆ a humanities/arts/music girl in a science/maths world ☆ wouldnt survive a day without spotify ☆ free palestine!!

͙͘͡★ 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 - literature, the arts, queer culture, astronomy + astrology, witchcraft, feminism (no terfs allowed!!!!), fruit flavoured drinks, flared pants, converse, dark red, nail polish, eyeliner, burgundy lipgloss, tank tops, tote bags, brie (always dreaming of cheese), pinterest, spotify, my headphones, the ocean, my grandparents house, spring+winter, very specific shades of pink and green, black <3, fiddling around on the guitar, fantasising about being a famous musician, finding new music, snow, picking silly little outfits, drawing, writing, going to concerts

͙͘͡★ 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 - osemanverse, the hunger games, books by rhiannon wilde, tim te maro's subterranean heartsick blues, all the best liars, books by octavia butler (specifically parable of the sower and parable of the talents), the last true poets of the sea, acotar, the weight of the stars, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, the picture of dorian grey, house of hollow, howls moving castle, harry potter (mainly marauders, FUCK JKR), i kissed shara wheeler, red white and royal blue, song of achilles, wings of fire, the secret history

͙͘͡★ 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐬 + 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 - dont look up, little women (2019), scream (i like most of them but 1996 is my fav by far), ladybird, barbie (2023), some of the mcu (thor and guardians of the galaxy <33), spiderverse (itsv is my love), gilmore girls, stranger things, loki, heartstopper, arcane, scott pilgrim takes off + scott pilgrim vs the world, mean girls (i love both hehe), dr who, percy jackson (the show, i um havent read the books), gossip girls, do revenge, my little pony (ignore that i’ve never actually watched it BUT IN THEORY-), the bear, hannibal

͙͘͡★ 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 - boygenius + solos, taylor swift, glaive, brakence, paramore, ricky jamaraz, melanie martinez, lana del rey, ashnikko, girl in red, billie eilish, doja cat, big thief, adrienne lenker, ethel cain, mitski, remi wolf, cigarettes after sex, ericdoa, tv girl, clairo, the neighbourhood, bon iver, deftones, maneskin, courtney barnett, poppy, the smiths, american football, susannah joffe, renee rapp, mcr, the front bottoms, pierce the veil, gracie abrams, feeble little horse, esha tewari, radiohead

͙͘͡★ 𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐮𝐦𝐬 - the record, 1989 tv, around the fur, riot, three cheers for sweet revenge, all we know is falling, hypochondriac, girl with fish, doa, things with wings, punk2, songs, masterpiece, guts, lust for life, dykttatuob, punisher, stranger in the alps, i care so much that i dont care at all, collide with the sky, manic, badlands, folklore, trafoamp, k-12, crybaby, portals, this is why, home video, ttpd + the anthology, hit me hard and soft

͙͘͡★ 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 - asks and dms are open for chatting/venting/whatever, i might take a while to respond ☆ i rarely follow people without an intro post/descriptive bio (with name, age group and pronouns especially) ☆ discord is astraeasparrow ☆ i dont currently have any trigger warnings tagged but just send me an ask/dm if you want me to tag something specific!! ☆ dni: people who are: rude, racist, homophobic, transphobic, zionist, terfs, sexist, ableist, antisemitic

͙͘͡★ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬:

#juno.txt -> ramblings, original posts

#asks -> asks ive answered

#ask bait -> send me asks!

#tag games -> tag games ive participated in

#beautiful mutuals -> interactions with my beautiful mutuals!

#spotify -> my music obsession

#junocore -> posts that are so incredibly mecore

(im working on a better taglist with my moots tags)

͙͘͡★ 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐬: pinterest ☆ spotify ☆ carrd

͙͘͡★ 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬: @likeasugarcubeinateacup (notes app poetry) -- @slowrotburiedinthepark (web weaving and random art) -- @stabbingstarsthroughmyback (writing) (im not that active on them though)

͙͘͡★ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬/𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬:

☆ previously astraeasparrow

☆ last updated: may 18th 2024

☆ dividers by @dollywons, @v6que, @plutism

thats all!! stay hydrated and have a wonderful day/night everyone <3

[zukkaoru]

oooh prompt 28: “It’s okay, you will move on. We will move on.”? with whatever fandom you want lol

ummm it's bungou stray dogs bc this prompt just gave me post-doa arc kunidazai feels fdgfhgjhk also it got a bit longer than intended but it's fine we're fine we're doing great!

tw: dazai-typical suicide mentions/suicidal ideation

-

“It’s okay,” Dazai whispers, his fingers carding through Kunikida’s hair. He isn’t good at this—he has never known how to comfort another person—but he refuses to leave Kunikida to suffer alone. Not when there’s something hanging heavy between them, not when Kunikida is trusting Dazai enough to be this vulnerable around him, not when Dazai is the only one Kunikida will come to for help.

Kunikida sniffs, but he doesn’t respond verbally, so Dazai continues.

“You will move on,” he says, because he knows this to be true. He knows what it is to face the empty void of loss and not see a way forward. He knows what it is to be trapped in the darkness, unsure if you’ll ever make it through to the light. “We will move on.”

Kunikida nods, faintly, which Dazai feels more than he sees. He stares at Kunikida’s glasses, abandoned on the floor nearby, unsure if he should say more. Unsure if there is anything else to say. It’s been months, and no one in the Agency has fully recovered. Kunikida is not the only one losing sleep to nightmares and spiraling anxieties. Dazai would be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed the growing bags under most of his coworkers’ eyes.

“How do you…” Kunikida’s muffled voice trails off. He tightens his grip on Dazai’s shirt, then lets out a shaky breath. “How do you deal with this?”

“The trauma?” Dazai asks, his tone lighter than it should be for such a topic. “Or the insomnia? Or the knowing your body will never work as good as it used to?”

“I don’t know. All of it?”

Dazai snorts. It’s not funny, really, except—

“I don’t.”

Kunikida lifts his head. He offers Dazai a half-hearted glare, made weaker by the wetness of his eyes. “That can’t be true. You’re still here.”

Dazai blinks.

Something in his chest tightens. It’s almost painful, but vaguely pleasant too. He scoffs, looking away.

“I don’t deal with it,” he whispers. “I just ignore it. It’s not healthy, but I’ve never planned on living long enough to deal with the consequences. So.” He shrugs. “It’s not genuine. No part of me is genuine. Not for as long as you’ve known me, at least.”

“I don’t believe that for a moment,” Kunikida argues. He sighs, leaning his head back against Dazai. “And anyway, how can you assure me I’ll move on if you haven’t?”

“Well…” Dazai frowns. Instead of answering, he pinches Kunikida’s arm and mumbles, “You’re mean.”

Kunikida hums. The lack of an argument is enough to tell Dazai that he’s still shaken from whatever nightmare woke him. So Dazai swallows down a joke that wouldn’t have landed and searches for something honest to say. If Kunikida thinks he can be a truthful person, maybe he should give it at least half a shot.

“It takes time,” is what he finally settles on. “Grief, loss, pain—only time can lessen the weight. And even if they never go away, you will learn to live with them as time goes on.” It’s a miserable sentiment, knowing that there is nothing you can do to ease your ailments. Knowing that the only solution is to wait them out and hope death doesn’t come for you first.

(Or, in Dazai’s case, hope death does come for you.)

But it’s the only advice Dazai has that is true. Any other claims he could make would provide Kunikida with nothing but false hope.

“I was afraid you might say that,” Kunikida whispers. “I don’t have time.”

“Nonsense! You’ve got your whole life planned out, and I’m sure you didn’t plan your death before thirty.” Dazai pokes his cheek. “That gives you at least seven years.”

“Not what I meant.”

Dazai ignores that comment. “Me, on the other hand? Well— I’ve only got til about twenty-five before I—”

“No,” Kunikida cuts him off, lifting his head sharply. He reaches for Dazai, then stops himself midway, curling his hand into a fist and dropping it back into his lap. “Don’t…don’t say that. If I have to take all that time to heal and move on, then so do you.”

Dazai grimaces. It sounds nothing short of torturous—living to thirty? Three decades spent walking through such miserable existence? He never even wanted to make it to eighteen.

But he did make it to eighteen—he made it past eighteen. And now he’s twenty-three, still putting in the effort to navigate the new life he’s found himself in. Maybe hanging around for a few extra years wouldn’t be the worst fate he could suffer.

After all, his dream of a completely painless suicide cannot be fulfilled if the people he leaves behind will grieve him.

This isn’t about him, though. This is about Kunikida.

“Fine,” he relents, the lie falling easily from his lips. “But that won’t make it any easier to pass the time.”

“It will,” Kunikida says. And before Dazai can argue, he kisses him softly. “It’s easier, knowing I’m not alone.”

Dazai’s brain short-circuits, for a moment, and then he buries his face in Kunikida’s shoulder to his whatever horrid expression he must be making. “Stupid,” he mumbles, his cheeks burning. Traitorously, his heartbeat won’t slow like he wants it to.

Kunikida chuckles. “You said yourself that we will move on. That means you have to be there too.”

“Shut up.”

“My point still stands whether I continue talking or not.”

Dazai purses his lips. Kunikida doesn’t say anything else, but he doesn’t need to, because he’s right. He already made his point. Dazai included himself in Kunikida’s healing process, and he can’t quite bring himself to regret it, though he knows he’ll be no good at helping. Even now, when he was trying to offer Kunikida comfort, the conversation got turned onto him instead.

He sighs, allowing his eyes to slip shut. “Kunikida-kun?”

“Hm?”

“You’re too kind to me.”

“I’m not,” Kunikida argues. “But perhaps we can have this conversation when it’s not two in the morning?”

Dazai nods. Then, for good measure, he turns his face so he can press a kiss to Kunikida’s neck. “In the meantime, can we—?”

“No,” Kunikida interrupts. He peels Dazai off of him, and Dazai whines, but he allows it to happen. “We still have work tomorrow. Or…later today.” He shakes his head. “We should try to fall back asleep.”

Dazai pouts, but when Kunikida only glares back, he gives in with a melodramatic sigh, flopping back down on the bed. “Fine.”

He goes completely limp, forcing Kunikida to maneuver him back into a normal sleeping position. He half-expects him to just give up part way through, turn over onto his side, and leave Dazai to sort himself out. But he doesn’t, of course, because Kunikida is too kind and when he’s finally comfortable, his head is lying on Dazai’s chest.

“Goodnight,” he whispers.

Dazai’s response gets stuck in his throat, so he just resumes running his fingers through Kunikida’s hair and listens to his breathing until it evens out and he’s drifted back to sleep.

[absurdthirst]

Christmas Honeymoon {Marcus Pike x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 17.2k

Warnings: Cheating, broken engagements, insults, sexual insecurities, mentions of hard limits, mentions of pegging and violence during sex, drunken antics, making out, miscommunication, angst, oral sex (male and female receiving), face sitting, vaginal sex, nipple play.

Comments: A Christmas wedding that never happens sends you on your honeymoon alone. Or so you thought. Before the plane takes off, someone else takes the seat beside you. Marcus Pike, your partner, your ex-fiancé's brother and the man you have been in love with despite agreeing to marry his brother.

A/N: There are mentions of partners ignoring hard limits and trying to coerce partners to doing things that they are not comfortable with. Please do not let partners push your boundaries - that is not healthy. Just because someone is into something doesn't mean you have to go along with it.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

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Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

Marcus shuffles slightly, picking at a piece of lint that is nearly invisible and feels that breathless sort of anticipation as he waits for the music to start playing. “I’m nervous.” Brad leans towards him and mutters under his breath despite the smile he is showing towards a large room full of people. The protector overhead is sliding between candid moments and the formal engagement photos between Marcus’s brother and you, his fiancée, who he is marrying as soon as the music starts to play.

“You’ll do great.” Marcus reassures him, reaching out and patting his brothers suited back. Despite the twisting in his stomach, some silly attachment that he knows better than to think about too long, he’s happy for his brother. Telling himself that it’s just the fact that he’s single that is making him almost dread the wedding march starting and not the feelings that he harbors for you. 

You exhale shakily, nervous as the music begins to play and the projector is turned off for your grand entrance. You smile at your dad and step into the room, the gasps of awe making your stomach twist as smiling faces watch you make your way down the aisle. Eventually, you lock eyes with Brad who is grinning with tears in his eyes but the face that makes your heart thump is the man standing next to your husband to be…Marcus. God, you’ve always had a crush on him and when you found out he was married, it was DOA. When his then wife tried to set you up with his brother, you went with it and here you are. When your dad kisses your cheek and hands you over to Brad, Marcus offers you a smile, although his eyes look sad. 

“Dearly beloved-” The officiant begins but you shake your head, interrupting him. 

“Sorry. Can we - can we just turn the projector back on. I have a surprise for my fiancé. Please move to the next slide.” You order and your wedding planner nods, panicking at your deviation but obeying. “It appears that my fiancé has been cheating on me…with his brother’s ex wife. Couldn’t make that up.” You turn towards the crowd, “see above proof.” 

You look at Brad before you begin to read. “Can’t wait to see you baby. My pussy is aching for you. Brad replied ‘don’t worry baby girl. She’s heading out for surveillance with Marcus, I’ll be over soon and fill that pussy up with my big cock.’” The words almost make you gag but you continue, reading off the raunchy texts that you discovered on Brad’s iPad when he was out one night and the damn thing wouldn’t stop pinging.

Marcus’s eyes widen and he looks over to his brother in horror and disbelief, the tell-tell sign of his guilt plastered all over the younger man’s face. He hadn’t gotten any better at giving himself away since they were kids. Their mother, steady and constant in their lives and a large part of their moral upbringing, stands up. “Bradley Anthony Pike! What is wrong with you!” She shouts.

You let the slides continue as you turn towards your fiancé. “It’s over. I hope she was worth it.” You slide the engagement ring off of your finger and hand it to Brad who is trying to tell you to not do this, he can explain. “There’s nothing to explain. It’s done. We are done.” You tell Brad who shakes his head, looking over at his mom who is fuming with him.

The crowd murmurs turn to a dull roar and Marcus feels devastated for you, and betrayed for himself. He knows it’s much worse for you, since you had still been with Brad. “How could you?” He hisses when Brad turns back to him for help. Once again expecting his big brother to bail him out of the jam he was in, but there was no helping this when the evidence was irrefutable. 

Their father stands up and claps loudly to get everyone’s attention. “Please! Uh, this is - could everyone make their way to the reception hall while we….deal with this? Please, enjoy the bar.” He huffs, shaking his head and exiting the row to stride over to where your parents are crowded around you.

Your parents are fuming as they look between you, Brad, and the slides. This wedding has cost them a fortune and to find out the man they believed loved you has cheated on you with his brother’s ex wife, your dad is furious. The crowd shuffles out of the room, some looking back and the dull roar eventually quietens down and you turn to your parents. “I’m so sorry.” You choke, tears now stinging in your eyes from both anger towards Brad and sadness for your ruined wedding. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, sweetheart. He doesn’t deserve you. At least you found out now before you married him.” Your mom strokes your cheek and your dad nods, turning to glare at Brad.

Andrew Pike comes over, embarrassment painted on his face and he swallows, looking at the daughter-in-law that he was happy to invite into the family. “I am so sorry, sweetheart. His mother and I did not raise him that way.” He promises, although he knows those words mean little to you right now. “I- let me reimburse you for the wedding.” He begs your parents. “My son fucked up. You shouldn’t have to pay for this.” He gestures around to the gorgeous wedding that you had planned. “Send me the bill and I will pay it.”

Your dad hesitates but knows he would offer the same if it was his son. “We can talk later, Andrew. Let’s sort this mess out first. Obviously, my daughter isn’t marrying your son.” Your dad tells Brad’s father who looks sad. You always got along with the Pike’s, a lovely family who have always been kind to you, welcomed you with open arms. You’re sad to lose them as they will obviously be by their son’s side no matter his sins. “I’m sorry. I - I really was excited to marry him but I- I can’t.” 

The Pikes shake their heads and Marcus’s mom pulls you into her arms, “don’t be silly, darling. We still love you. Our son…he is a disgrace.” She turns to look at an ashamed Brad who decides to step forward to talk to you, try to apologize and convince you to marry him.

Marcus grabs his brother’s arm and pulls him back, his younger brother whipping his head around to glare at him. “No, don’t.” He shakes his head. “You don’t get to whine and cry and try to get out of this. Don’t insult her any more than you already have.” He’s pissed, the fact that he would cheat on you, on his partner, pisses him off more than he can express. The hurt on your face makes him want to bundle you up in a hug, but keeping Brad away from you is more important. “Seriously? You had to do this with Julia?”

Brad huffs at his older brother, “you know she didn’t like her. You know she wanted me to take her on so she would stop mooning over you. Your ex-wife wanted to get back at you for your partner crushing on you when you wouldn’t shut it down and I wanted some pussy. Can you blame me? Julia is good in bed. She’s a freak and I guess that’s part of why you divorced her? She was too much for you to handle, you bored her.” Brad is lashing out right now, furious with himself but taking it out on his older brother.

That cuts to the quick, the jab about him being boring, considering the arguments they would have. She didn’t feel like Marcus should have his own limits on what he was comfortable with in bed. “There was nothing to shut down, I would never have cheated on her.” Marcus shakes his head, disappointed in the little brother that he had previously been so proud of. “Just like you shouldn’t have cheated. Doesn’t matter why.”

Brad scoffs, “whatever man. You were always jealous that I got to marry her. I’ll win her back. Just wait and see.” Brad shoves Marcus away from him and strides over to you, making you straighten your spine as you glare at your now ex fiancé. 

“What do you want Brad?” You spit and Brad is held back by his father. 

“Baby. Let me explain.” He begs and you shake your head, “there’s nothing to explain. You cheated. It’s over. We are done.” You say coolly. You already went through the stages of anger, sadness and denial. Now you’re on acceptance. “It’s over. Goodbye Brad.” You tell him, turning towards your parents who usher you through the venue and you turn to look at Marcus, his soft eyes watching you and he nods, knowing you’ll talk to him soon. 

**** 

You settle into the first class seat your father-in-law booked for you for your honeymoon to his son, but his son isn’t beside you. No one is. You decided you needed to get out of town, away from the pitying looks of your friends and family who were treading on eggshells around you, and figured you might as well head off to Hawaii on your honeymoon, even if it isn’t a honeymoon.

Marcus smiles and thanks the agent as the ticket scans, slightly smug that he had made it through TSA with nothing more than the quickest flash of his badge. Technically against Bureau policy but he wasn’t thinking about that right now. His bag in hand, he walks up the gangway towards the plane. Last night, all hell had broken loose at the Pike residence and while his mother and father were reading Brad the riot act, Marcus had changed the name on the electronic ticket and disappeared upstairs to pack a bag. Nothing was going to stop him. Nodding to the flight crew, Marcus turns towards the first class cabin and spots you, staring out the window from your seat. Your bag is already stowed and you seem to be lost in your own thoughts with a drink sitting on the tray table in front of you. Marcus strides up to you, looking more confident than he feels and clears his throat. “It looks like this seat is mine.” He hums. 

Your eyes widen as you look at Marcus who looms above you, a friendly smile on his face. He’s the last person you expected to sit next to you, figuring they would just upgrade someone in economy to sit beside you. “What are you doing here?” You ask, swallowing harshly at how damn handsome he looks in his jeans and t-shirt when you’re so used to seeing him in a suit every day at work.

Marcus shoves his bag in the overhead compartment with yours and almost closes it before he catches himself. The flight attendants prefer to close them to make sure they latch properly. “Going to Hawaii.” He gives a small shrug like it’s the most obvious answer and sits down beside you. “Changed the name on the ticket. Already had time off work.” Working without your partner sucks, so Marcus had taken off as well, joking he was going to hang around his condo in his underwear and eat pizza. Not mentioning that he was also going to try to get over the very un-brother-in-law feelings he had for you.

Your mouth falls open at the backhanded way he got his ticket but you love him for it. “You better sit down and get some champagne then. Does the FBI know that a pair of partners are off on vacation together?” You tease and he snorts. 

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them. I just - I figured there’s no point in wasting the ticket and I wanted to be here for you. As your partner.” He adds, making you reach out to squeeze his hand. 

“Thank you Marcus. I - I don’t blame you for what your brother did. Also, your ex was involved. Are you okay?” He must feel betrayed by that.

“It doesn’t feel great.” Marcus admits, ducking his head slightly and his shoulders round. “It’s more that I’m hurt that it was my brother. I just-“ he shakes his head, still shocked by all of this. “It’s all like some fucked up version of the twilight zone. But enough about me, how are you?” He had wanted to text you and see if he could come by, check on you, but you had notifications silenced so he hadn’t texted you. Wanting to respect your need for privacy.

You keep your hand in his, “I’m fine. I, uh, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I didn’t - I decided that my love for Brad was more about having someone. I loved him but I wasn’t in love with him. I’m mainly hurt by his actions, hurt that he cheated on me and hid it. I’m a damn FBI agent and he kept that hidden from me, I should’ve known better. I should have figured it out and dealt with him before my parents spent all that money on a wedding I wasn’t even sure I wanted.”

Marcus snorts, and he squeezes your hand. “Sometimes you don’t see it because you’re too close.” He reminds you. “Besides, don’t worry about the cost. My dad is going to pay your parents back and he’s already said that every dime is coming out of Brad’s inheritance.” Marcus had to hide his chuckle when their father had made that decision, Brad was furious but he only had himself to blame. “At least you didn’t marry him and have him continue to cheat on you.”

You scoff at Brad losing money from his inheritance. You doubt the sex was worth it. The air steward comes over, “welcome Mr. & Mrs. Pike, can I get you something to drink?” She asks, offering you a smile and you fluster at the title, knowing you could’ve been Mrs. Pike if you had gotten married.

Rather than correct her and potentially have to explain, Marcus just smiles and nods. “Champagne please.” He requests, looking back at you with a grin and a wink. “Champagne's for celebrating, right? And that’s what we are doing.”

You smile, nudging him as you pull your hand away, realizing this is becoming a little too close for work colleagues even if he was due to become your brother-in-law. You watch him take the glass from the stewardess who refills your glass. “To almost being in-laws.” You joke, clinking your glass against his once she walks away.

“To you not marrying a man who doesn’t deserve you.” Marcus says quietly, lifting his glass slightly and taking a sip. “I want you to know that if I had known about it all, I would have told you. And probably beat his ass.”

You nod, knowing that Marcus wouldn’t have let you marry if he suspected anything untoward. “I know. I know.” You promise, sipping your own champagne. “Let’s have a good vacation together, huh? Maybe we can get you laid on this trip.” You tease, knowing it’s been a while for Marcus.

He rolls his eyes but the slight heat creeping up his neck gives him away. “Shut up.” He huffs at you, even though he smiles as he takes another sip. “I’ve had…a couple of one-nighters. I just don’t brag about it like the other idiots we work with.”

You smirk, “one nighters…a year ago. You didn’t exactly do what every other guy in our office does which is divorce and fuck everything with a pulse.” You remember the stories from the break room with a wrinkle of your nose. Marcus isn’t like them, he’s a good guy. He’s the kind of man you should’ve married but you know he just views you as a sister. He’s never given any evidence of feelings beyond friendship. “Let’s have a good time on this trip and forget all the bullshit. We can deal with it when we land back here.”

“Sounds like fun.” He sends you a small wink and settles back in his seat, his stomach fluttering with excitement. It’s not like you want to sleep with him, your crush is long dead and he would never take advantage of you. It would make him no better than his brother. His phone beeps and he reaches into his pocket and ignores the text from his brother and turns off the phone for the flight. “Let’s be pleasantly drunk by the time we land.” Marcus suggests.

By the time you land, you’re buzzed and laughing at the time Marcus let that perp steal his pants after he shit himself from fear by being chased by the FBI. You had fallen asleep a few hours into the flight, leaning against Marcus as you fell asleep on his shoulder. When the pilot announced your landing, you jerked back off of your partner, flustered as you cleared your throat to look out of the window. One last drink and you’re landing, the mountains of Honolulu greeting you as the plane moves along the tarmac.

“You know, I’ve never been to Hawaii.” Marcus leans over you slightly, inhaling the familiar scent of your perfume and trying to ignore the way his cock twitches. “I cannot wait. You know they filmed scenes from Jurassic Park here. And that movie you like on Netflix, Triple Hotties.” He chuckles, teasing you about the way you had raved over the hot men - and Ben Affleck - in that movie.

You chuckle, looking back at him. “You know you look like one of the guys in it. Frankie.” You remind him, refraining from saying that the actor was the hottest one in it. He looks just like Marcus but less groomed. “Maybe we can do a day trip to see the filming locations, but honestly? I just want to lay in the sun and drink and maybe get laid. Your brother…Julia must’ve had a different man than I did.”

Marcus grimaces slightly, shaking his head. “Please don’t ever tell me what my brother is like in bed please. It’s bad enough that-“ he cuts off what he was going to say, the salt in the wound making him wonder if he was boring in bed. He didn’t think so, but Julia apparently told Brad he was. Not that she had ever complained to him beyond wishing he would cave on his hard limits.

“No more talking about Brad and Julia.” You order, shaking your head as the plane comes to a stop at the gate. “I won’t allow it. This vacation is about us now.” You pat his knee as the cabin starts to stand up to take their things down from the overhead bin.

First class is first off the plane and Marcus trails behind you, insistent to carry your bag for you. When you come out into the terminal, Marcus looks around. “Where are you supposed to meet the car for the hotel?”

“There.” You point to the sign that says “Mr. & Mrs. Pike” and you sigh as you approach the driver. “Thats, uh, that’s us.” You tell the driver who grins, “congratulations! Welcome to Honolulu, let me take your bag.” He reaches for your bags and you let him take it.

“Don’t worry ‘Mrs. Pike’.” Marcus teases under his breath as the two of you follow him out to a sleek and shiny town car with the resort logo on the side. “We will only be asked how the wedding was six thousand times.” He has to admit, he likes the sound of you being Mrs. Pike, but not because of his brother. He imagines how he would be for you to have his name because of him.

You like the way he calls you Mrs. Pike, more so than any other time you’ve heard it during your engagement. It’s because it’s Marcus saying it. You smile at Marcus, “might as well play into it. Maybe we can get some freebies. Wanna play pretend?” You ask him with a smirk, knowing it’s a dangerous game but you’re excited for the first time since that disaster of a wedding.

Grinning at you, Marcus nods. “We’re undercover.” He jokes. “Newlyweds.” His hand covers around your back and he rests it on your hip. “Can’t wait to get to the hotel, baby.” He purrs, loud enough for the driver to hear. It’s a fine line to walk, but it’s a chance to see what it would be like before you move on to someone else who deserves you. Before he goes back to being your partner and not your almost brother-in-law. “Wonder if they will have Christmas trees or decorate palm trees with lights.”

You grin, heart skipping a beat at the way he squeezes your hip so you lean into him, playing along. “I’m sure they will. Christmas in paradise. You sure you aren’t gonna miss the cold weather and hot chocolate instead of sunshine and Mai Tais?” You tease him, tilting your head on his shoulder to look at his face.

“Not as long as you are right here with me.” Kissing your lips wouldn’t be right, so he leans in and kisses the tip of your nose. That’s a cute show of affection without being too intimate. “Me, you, a beach and some Mai Tais sounds perfect.”

Your stomach twists at the way he kisses your nose and your heart sinks. Despite everything that has happened, you know Marcus only views you as a friend. You swallow harshly and pull away from him. “Sounds good.” You murmur and look out of the window as the car pulls into the resort.

Marcus frowns at the way you pull away and he swallows, adjusting in the seat next to you. “Sorry.” He whispers quietly, wishing he hadn’t made you uncomfortable. “I overstepped. I shouldn’t have done that.” You must feel horrible, considering this was supposed to be your honeymoon and your here with your partner who basically invited himself and is a glaring reminder of your ex fiancé. Suddenly this seems like the dumbest decision he’s made in a long time.

You frown, turning to look at Marcus. You reach for his hand, your heart twisting at the fact that he’s still thinking about you. “Marcus, no. You didn’t overstep. It’s - it’s me. I just- my mind is all over the place.” You admit, hoping he thinks you mean with the wedding and not him. “Let’s forget about it, okay? This is supposed to be about our vacation. Let’s enjoy it.” You squeeze his hand, offering him a soft smile.

Nodding, the two of you continue to hold hands, although it’s slightly awkward. The ride from the airport is surprisingly quick and the view from the car windows is stunning as you turn into the entrance to the resort. “Wow.” Marcus whispers. “This is- gorgeous.”

“I picked it out. Did a lot of research on resorts and I - I thought it was gorgeous. I’ve always wanted to come to Hawaii. I’m glad you’re here Marcus. To enjoy it with me.” You squeeze his hand as the car pulls up and you smile as the driver helps you out.

“Welcome, Mr. & Mrs. Pike!” The concierge, complete on a Hawaiian shirt greets them warmly and within a couple of moments, leis were around your neck. Marcus tamps down the juvenile joke about already getting laid and thanks the young woman who put it around his neck. He knows that the resort must give them out to all guests, but he had read about the cultural importance of them while you had been sleeping on his shoulder.

You grin, already so happy to be here despite the nightmare of your recent life events and looking over at Marcus, you know you’re going to indulge a bit in the “Mr. & Mrs. Pike” thing. You’ve always had a crush on Marcus but between him being married and your partner when you first met, you decided to shove it down and when his ex-wife introduced you to Brad, you took it as a chance to start anew without your painful crush on Marcus. It’s still there though. Never died apparently if your heart thumping indicates. “Please follow me to the honeymoon suite.” The concierge declares after you check in and you curse yourself for forgetting to call and change that. Still, you are going along with the ruse and decide that the room you are in can’t be much different from a regular room.

Honeymoon suite….Marcus closes his eyes in a silent prayer for being so stupid to forget that you most likely booked a suite. It was supposed to be a romantic getaway for you and Brad. Hopefully the couch is comfortable, because he has a feeling that’s where he’s going to be sleeping.

You enter the suite and gasp at the beautiful place that greets you. Rose petals are scattered on the floor leading to the bed and there's champagne in a bucket waiting alongside chocolates and a fruit bowl. You swallow harshly, looking over at Marcus who looks like he wants the floor to swallow him whole. "Thank you." You tip the bellboy before Marcus can and you smile when you see the beach and ocean. "This is paradise."

It is paradise, and it’s romantic. Something that will get to Marcus because he is a romantic at heart. His execution could use a little work sometimes - but he wants to love and be loved completely. Julia used to hate things like this, thinking rose petals scattered was ridiculous, but your eyes are soft and there is a melancholy that makes him want to pull you into a fierce hug and kiss away that look. “I- uh, I’ll sleep on the couch.” He offers, looking over at the too short loveseat that is positioned in the room to break it up. His feet will hang over the end, but you deserve the bed. “Since you were expecting to sleep alone when you decided to come.” 

“Marcus…” You shake your head, “I’m not letting you sleep on that loveseat. I want you to have a good vacation so you’ll be sleeping in the bed. We will be fine. We are partners…I’ve already heard you snore.” You joke, winking at him.

Marcus flushes slightly, aware that is completely true. “I have sinus issues.” He huffs at you, giving an over exaggerated pout before he laughs. “Okay, as long as you are comfortable with it. I will happily not sleep on that small couch.”

You shake your head, “no. No, sweetheart. Don’t be silly. You can sleep in the bed too. We are adults.” You snort, walking over to the bed and you caress the sheets as you stare at the heart shaped rose petals in the middle. “He really fucked up. He’s going to regret it.” You murmur, looking back at Marcus and for a moment, you wish you had never met Brad, that this was actually for you and Marcus.

“Yes, he will.” Of that he is completely certain. “I don’t know why he did it-“ he won’t tell you that it was simply to get laid. That’s disgusting because his brother would brag about how often you would give him sex so he knows it wasn’t a lack of intimacy. “But I want to assure you that not all men are like that. I can say for certain my mother never worried about my father and I never cheated on my ex.”

You smile, walking over to Marcus and you cup his cheeks, leaning in to kiss his chin. “You are so kind Marcus, I doubt you’d survive lying to someone for that long. You can’t lie for shit when it comes to your personal life. I love that about you. We have both dealt with shitty partners but I want you to know that I’m so happy I’m here with you, my best friend and partner.”

He smiles at you, thankful that you don’t hate him for what his brother has done to you, but he’s also a little disappointed you don’t think of him as more than just your friend and partner. It was why he always dismissed Julia’s claims that you had a thing for him, you were just lovely and she interpreted it as vying for attention. Whereas now he wonders when his ex-wife and his brother started sleeping together. “So do you want to change and go lay on the beach or by the pool?” He asks.

“Oooh, let’s go lay by the pool. I desperately need a drink after everything that’s happened.” You pat his chest and walk over to your suitcase, pulling out your toiletry bag and the bag full of bikinis you bought for this trip. Some are definitely risqué but you don’t care, you want to feel sexy after being cheated on. You take the bathroom first, freshening up and changing and you come out from the bathroom wearing the bikini and only the bikini so you can search for your cover up and hat.

Marcus pulls out a set of swimming trunks while you are in the bathroom, aware that it will take you longer to get ready for the pool than he will. He opens the fruit basket and steals a kiwi, moaning at the sweet, juicy fruit after he’s dug out his flip flops and changed, ready to relax and recharge.

You smile when you see Marcus on the sofa, eating a kiwi, and you wish this was your honeymoon to him, you were married to him. Pushing that thought immediately out of your mind, you grab your beach bag and ask him if he’s ready. He nods, finishing off the kiwi and the way he licks his fingers has your cunt clenching around nothing. You want to moan but refrain.

“So - hear me out before you say no, what about we put my credit card on file for drinks and room service?” Marcus’s hand hovers over your back as the two of you make your way out of the room and he wants to make a comment about how fucking fantastic you look, but he doesn’t. You don’t need to know that he’s happy you found a coverup so he doesn’t stare like a creep, although he’s not going to be able to take off the sunglasses perched on his nose when you’re laying by the pool.

You shake your head, “Marcus. No. You can’t pay for everything. We - your brother cheated, not you. I already put my card down on the booking. Let’s enjoy this time to relax and not worry about money, huh?” You tell him, loving the way his hand presses against your lower back as he guides you through the hotel to the pool. “It’s such a nice day.” You sigh when you are escorted to your assigned loungers, and you immediately pull the cover up off, exposing the skimpy bikini beneath.

“Jesus.” Marcus hisses under his breath, his eyes widening and drinking in the sight of all the skin that is normally concealed under your sensible work suits. He swallows harshly, reminding himself that you don’t want him ogling you and busies himself spreading out his towel and taking off his flip flops. “Yep, we need a drink.” He grunts out.

You nod, gesturing for the waiter to come over and you order a Mai Tai and Marcus orders the same. You smile and reach into your beach bag for your sunscreen. “Would you mind - I haven’t been able to reach my back.” You ask Marcus, feeling a little awkward but sunburn would be worse.

“Sure, as long as you do me.” Marcus jokes, trying to ignore the dirtier side of the joke as he takes the cream and flips the cap open. “Don’t want you to get sun poisoning. It can happen and then you’ll be miserable.”

You chuckle, shifting to sit down on his lounger as you turn your back for him. “I don’t want that. You either. Let’s agree to put sunscreen on each other when we remember so we don’t get sun poisoning and ruin the vacation.” You say, looking over your shoulder at him as you watch him pour some cream into his hand.

Putting on sunscreen isn’t the way he ever dreamed of touching your bare back, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Rubbing his hands together so the cream isn’t quite so cold, he smiles at you. “Absolutely.” He promises before he slides his hands over your skin for the first pass of sunscreen before he starts to massage it in.

You smile at the way he gently rubs the cream into your skin, making you close your eyes as you never thought you’d get the chance to have Marcus touch you like this, even if it’s innocent. He is swift and precise, quickly rubbing the lotion into your back and you turn to take the bottle. “You turn, Pike.” You smile, squirting some cream into your hand.

He groans at the feeling of the cold cream on his skin, loving the contrast of temperatures. “If I was laying down, I would probably fall asleep.” He admits with a chuckle. “We should get one of those couples massages.” He suggests, imagining relaxing and being pampered with you.

"Mmm, that sounds nice. I don't remember the last time I had a massage. Your brother never-" You cut yourself off, not wanting to talk about Brad with Marcus. You sigh, continuing to rub the cream into Marcus's back until his shoulders are covered too. "All done." You resist the urge to lean forward and kiss his neck. Standing up, you sigh as you realize you didn't exactly wear the best shoes. One you have to unbuckle. So you lift your foot onto the sunbed, bending over to unbuckle the shoe with your ass, unbeknownst to you, in Marcus's face.

Marcus twitches in his swimsuit, eyes glued to your ass and he bites his lips so he doesn’t groan out loud. God, he wants to touch you. Luckily, he spots the server bringing the drinks over and he quickly shuffles back onto his lounger. “Maybe we need to pick you up some slippers.” He tells you. “It’s what Hawaiians call flip flops.”

You wink, “I’ll have to get some. Easier than these shoes. I have sandals, I’ll have to get them out of my case.” You thank the server for the drink and take the receipt to sign it while he gives Marcus his drink. “Thank you.” You smile at the server and hand him the receipt. “God, that’s good.” You moan after sipping your drink, “to our honeymoon.” You tease, clinking your cup against Marcus’s.

“To our honeymoon.” Marcus agrees, smirking slightly and raising an eyebrow. “Although if it was really my honeymoon we wouldn’t be out here right now.” He tells you with a wink of his own. “That room had a bottle of champagne and a bed. That’s what I would be drinking and where I would be drinking it.” 

You swallow harshly the sip you had taken from your drink. The way his lip curls into a smirk has you squeezing your thighs together at the idea of him possibly fucking you in a bed drinking champagne…possibly from you. You chuckle softly, “Julia really fucked up divorcing you, Pike. You are too good for her.”

“She had her reasons.” Marcus sighs and takes a sip of his own drink. “I think it was - fuck, I don’t know. She was jealous of you, you know?” He tells you suddenly. “Always pissed off because we had a good relationship, friendship.” He snorts. “And she was probably sleeping with Brad before we got divorced.” 

You bite your lip, “I don’t know. I just saw the texts right before the wedding. I - between you and me…I was hesitant to get engaged but Brad - he - he just looked at me and you know I’m a people pleaser. I couldn’t say no when he did it in a crowded restaurant. Why the hell was she jealous of me? You were going home to her every night. You were in her bed. You weren’t - we are friends. Always have been. Partners. She shouldn’t have let you go. You’re a good man. Sweet, funny, kind. Even if she thought you were boring in bed, those traits are worth more than a few mind blowing orgasms.”

“I’m not boring in bed.” Marcus grunts, shaking his head. “I just-“ his cheeks burn and he looks around the resort to make sure that someone wasn’t too close to the two of you. “She kept wanting me to ignore my hard limits and do things that I didn’t want to do.”

You frown, sitting up so you can reach for his hand. “There’s nothing wrong with that.” You tell him firmly, “everyone has preferences and people don’t have similar tastes all the time. It’s give and take. If you love someone, you accept what they like and don’t like. What - what was it she wanted you to do?” You ask from pure curiosity.

“She wanted me to slap her in the face.” Marcus is all for spanking, but she wanted him to leave marks and he was never going to do something like that, even sexually. “And hated the fact that I wouldn’t let her peg me. I’m not into it, and she kept pushing, even bought the equipment.” That makes him smirk. “So I guess you just learned something about your ex that you might not have known before.” He’s all for people enjoying what they enjoy but he hated how much she would get angry at him for not wanting to do it. It was a hard limit and she refused to accept that. 

Your eyes widen, “no fucking way. Brad would - he never wanted - he never asked me to fuck him like that. I mean…it’s never been my thing to ask my partner to do that but I also would respect someone telling me no. He - fuck - Brad let her fuck him? He doesn’t seem the type. He’s always been so…dominant in the bedroom.” You reveal despite knowing that Marcus doesn’t want to hear about that. “She should’ve respected your boundaries and I- I’m a little vanilla too.” You reveal, biting your lip. Missionary is your favorite position but mainly because it’s intimate and you love kissing during sex.

“I don’t think I’m vanilla.” Marcus shrugs slightly. “I mean, I love to experiment or try new positions but I also think that it’s amazing to just…connect with my partner. Make them feel good. Make them cum as many times as I can.” He imagines making love with you, having you cry out and seeing what you mean by being vanilla. 

You shift, pussy clenching at his words, and you wish you could experience that with him but it isn’t meant to be. He just sees you as a friend. “You sound like the perfect lover.” You chuckle, turning to look at him, “seriously…Julia messed up. You deserve someone who loves you for you. Brad…he always wanted me to, uh, to have a threesome, or an orgy. I didn’t- it wasn’t my thing.”

“No offense, I would not share you.” Marcus snorts, shaking his head at how stupid his brother is. “Some people like that, and it’s cool if all parties are up for it, but I could never. I’m too jealous.” He admits. “I never show that because it’s ridiculous but I would pull you away from someone else touching you if you were mine.” 

You grin, “I didn’t know you were the possessive type, Pike.” You tease, leaning closer to him across the space between your lounger and his. “Sexy. I like that.” You wink at him after pulling your sunglasses down to look at him. God, this version of your partner is sexy, playful, and it’s getting harder to deny how attracted you are to him, have always been to him.

That fucking dick of his won’t stop twitching, especially when you do silly little things like wink at him. He tells himself not to, that it’s too much but he leans in too, a confident smile on his face. “Good to know you find that sexy.” He hums, licking his lips. 

You unconsciously lean closer, eyes flicking down to his lips, and the urge to kiss him is almost overwhelming until the server comes by to ask if you want another drink. Pulling back from Marcus, you nod, ordering another drink for you both. “I, um, I’m gonna take a dip in the pool. It’s so hot.” You need a moment away from Marcus so you get up, making your way to the steps and you slowly walk into the water, groaning at the cool sensation

“Your wife is a beautiful woman.” A man two loungers down from Marcus comments, making him look away from the vision of you in the water to glance over at him. 

“Thank you.” Marcus simply says, turning back to you and wondering if he should go get in the water too. 

“Honeymoon?” He asks, making Marcus have to think for a second before he nods. “Yeah, arrived today.” 

The other man snorts and shakes his head. “You’re a lucky man, surprised you are out of your room. I wouldn’t be if I had her for my wife.” Marcus secretly agrees with him, watching the water drip off your breasts as you come up from dipping yourself. 

You turn to look at Marcus, smiling at him as he watches you wade through the water. You are worried about how much you’re letting yourself sink into the fantasy of this being your honeymoon to Marcus. It’s too easy with him, he’s so handsome and funny and kind. If you’re truly honest, it’s always been him. Brad was your attempt to get over your crush on Marcus but right now, you realize you’ve been in love with Marcus since you started working together. You thought you loved Brad but honestly, you loved his family more. With a sigh, you swim through the water, letting the tropical surroundings calm you until you end up stepping out of the pool, water dripping down your body until you grab the towel on your lounger.

“Have a good swim?” Marcus asks, picking up the new drink that had been delivered while you were in the water and handing it to you once you have dried off. “The water looks amazing, I’ll have to go in with you next time.”

“It was good. Especially after the long flight. You should take a dip with me next time. After all, this is all about relaxing.” You sip your drink, relaxing a little more as you finally settle into your vacation. After sitting in the sun and having some food poolside, you and Marcus make your way back to the room. “You want to shower first? I’ll take longer since I need to do my hair.” You offer, looking out the window at the sky and ocean as the sun lowers.

“Sure.” Marcus has been sporting a semi all fucking day and before he goes crazy, he needs to jerk off. You aren’t here to fulfill his sexual needs and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable when he just walks around with a fucking hard on all day, which is what will happen if he doesn’t rub one out. “That sounds great. I’ll try to make it quick.”

When he shuts the door behind him to the bathroom, you rub your cheek. “Shit.” You hiss to yourself, knowing that this is going to be a long trip if you’re constantly wet for the man you consider to be your friend and partner, you can’t afford to cross the line.

Marcus quickly turns on the shower, stripping down and cursing when he steps inside the large glass and porcelain tiled stall. The cooler water isn’t helping the way that his half hard cock thickens and hardens more as he thinks about how you looked in your bikini. He hisses and spits into his hand, bracing a hand on the wall while he wraps his hand around himself and starts to stroke his length.

You try to distract yourself from thoughts of Marcus in the shower but you fail, breathing a little heavier than normal as you imagine the water streaming down his back. “Fuck.” You sit down, covering your face as you try to remind yourself that things would go tragically wrong if you tried to act on your lust. With a sigh, you lean back against the loveseat and just try to relax but when Marcus comes out, just wrapped in a towel, your resolve almost crumbles. You bite your lip, curling your fingers into fists as you constantly remind yourself that you can’t be with him, certainly can’t sleep with him.

“Sorry.” Marcus flushes slightly and tosses you an embarrassed grin. “I forgot to get some clothes before I got in the shower.” He admits, water sliding down his chest. “But you take your time and then we’ll go get something to eat, sound good?”

You nod, pushing past him to get into the bathroom. You release the breath you’ve been holding as you lock the door behind you. Shit, you just wanted to rip that towel off of him. Pushing those thoughts aside, you turn the shower on and prepare for dinner. After doing your hair and makeup, you make your way into the bedroom to grab the clothes you set on the side, keeping the towel wrapped around you. You should’ve taken the clothes in with you but you didn’t want to steam them up. “Sorry.” You murmur to Marcus before ducking back into the bathroom to get ready.

It’s gonna be a long fucking week. The idea that you were naked under your towel makes his spent cock twitch again. His own clothes are island casual, taken from a trip he had made to the Bahamas with Julia for their last anniversary but maybe you’ll drag him shopping. Loose linen pants with loafer and a short sleeved button down shirt, he was opting for comfort with a little style. Hopefully he won’t embarrass you.

You come out of the bathroom in the summer dress you had chosen before the debacle of the wedding. It’s white and flowing and gives just enough skin without being too much. When you see Marcus, your breath catches at how handsome he looks, how relaxed he looks. You want to see it more often. “You look good.” You tell him as you reach for your sandals.

Marcus swallows and stands, brushing his hands down the front of his pants, “not nearly good enough to be going out with you.” He praises, watching you slide the sandals on and lift your ankle up onto the table to buckle them. He wishes he could do that for you, like this is some regency romance where touching a woman’s ankle is thrilling. “You’re…breathtaking.”

You fluster, shaking your head as you look over at him while you lower your foot. “Don’t be silly, Pike. I’m not - your brother-” You try to not think about Brad and it’s easy when Marcus is looking at you like that. Like you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. You walk over to him to adjust the collar of his shirt, “you look handsome.”

He hates that his brother has beaten down your self confidence. You should know how beautiful you are, inside and out. His hands come up and cover yours where they’ve slid down to rest on his chest. “And you look beautiful.” He insists. “We will be the best looking non-couple at dinner.” He jokes likely, disappointed by the fact that you aren’t a couple.

You pat his chest, “exactly. Come on, I’m starving. Let’s get something to eat.” You take his hand in yours, squeezing for a moment until you let go so you can grab your purse.

The two of you make your way out of the room and down the hall. The resort is lovely, fresh plants in large colorful pots, local artwork on the walls. “Do you know which restaurant you want to eat at?” He doesn’t know if you’ve made reservations or if you could just walk up to any of the three on property and be sat.

"There's a booking. I, um, kind of booked a lot for this trip thinking it was - yeah. We have scuba diving and a boat day and - God, I just thought I would do it alone but it's incredible to have you here. We have a reservation." You take his hand to guide him to the restaurant you picked out and you are immediately guided to your table

“We can do whatever you want.” Marcus promises, meaning that. “I want you to enjoy yourself and not even remember what his name is by the time we fly home.” Although tonight, jet lag will probably hit you within the next few hours.

You grin as you sit down at your table, "who are we talking about?" You joke, making Marcus chuckle. 

The server appears several moments later with a bottle of champagne. "Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Pike, welcome and I hope you are enjoying your stay." You don't correct the server, wanting to enjoy more time pretending to be married to Marcus despite the fact you were supposed to marry his brother.

Marcus grins as the server pops the cork and pours two flutes of champagne. He picks up the flutes and hands one to you and holds up the other as the bottle is being placed in the bucket next to the table. “To my gorgeous wife.” Marcus declares, smirking slightly since you know that you aren’t his wife. “May we enjoy many more years loving each other even more than we do now.”

You fluster, biting your lip as you clink your glass against his, “to my gorgeous husband.” You playfully reply, knowing he’s just playing along for the free stuff you get on a honeymoon but God, it’s stirring up that crush you harbored for years. After sipping the champagne, you and Marcus have a delicious dinner and you share dessert, unable to take your eyes off of him. His ex wife must be mad to let this man go for his asshole of a brother. Since the meals are included, you decide to check out the nightlife, making your way to one of many bars that has music playing.

The music and atmosphere is friendly, welcoming and Marcus keeps his hand on your back as he guides you to the only chair available at the bar. “If we keep this up, we will be drunk in no time.” He leans close to your ear to be heard better, breath washing over your ear.

You squash down the shiver at the way his hot breath hits your ear and you turn to look at him, face so close to his. “Good. We are on vacation.” You remind him, leaning against the bar as you sit down, calling over the bartender. Marcus lets you order first and you smile when he looks at you with those dark brown eyes while the bartender gets your drinks. “I’m happy you decided to take the ticket. I- I was prepared to come here alone but wasn’t ready to face the pity when I explained why I was alone.”

“It’s selfish.” Marcus admits, ducking his head slightly and shooting you a grin. “I didn’t want to listen to the arguing and be roped into it.” He reaches up and touches the edge of one of your earrings, shifting slightly closer. “Also….because I didn’t want you to be alone.” He doesn’t say that he wants to see you happy, that’s a given, but he wants to put a smile on your face if he can. Just grateful you don’t hate him because of Brad.

You smile at Marcus, loving how close he is but you pull back, trying to clear your mind. “I appreciate it, Marcus. You really are such an amazing friend.” You cup his cheek, “I am glad it’s you here with me.”

He’s disappointed when you shift back, for a brief moment he’d wondered if Julia had been right - that you had been attracted to him. Of course that wasn’t true, but he doesn’t let it bother him, at least on the outside. The feelings for you that he nursed are convoluted and confusing and the last thing he wants is for you to do something you will regret. “We’ll see if you feel that way after a week of me snoring.” He teases playfully.

You chuckle, “I doubt even that would make me sick of you.” You tell him honestly, thanking the bartender when he gives you your drinks and you hold your glass up towards Marcus’s again in a silent cheers. You take a sip, feeling buzzed as you look around the bar

“This is amazing though.” Marcus looks around. “You did a fantastic job picking this place. Did you know someone who’s been here or did you just pick a resort?”

You bite your lip, “actually Brad found it. He said someone he knew suggested it…Julia didn’t talk about this place, did she?” You joke, snorting as you lean towards him. “Sorry. I, uh, guess we shouldn’t joke about that.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Marcus gives a careless shrug and grins at you. “If we can’t joke about that, what can we joke about?” He asks, lowering his voice slightly.

You nod, “true. Very true.” You sigh, taking a sip of your drink. About three more drinks in, you’re buzzed and leaning against Marcus who now has a seat beside you. “Your brother is an asshole, you know?” Your words are slurred, “I should’ve - it should’ve been you. You’re so sweet and kind and handsome. I agreed to marry the wrong brother.”

Marcus groans, hearing the words that he has secretly wanted but both of you are drunk. “Shhhhhush.” He huffs at you dramatically. “Don’t talk about my asshole brother like that.” He bursts into laughter and leans back on you and sighs. “I wish I met you before Julia. You’re- you- you’re so perfect.”

You lean back to look into his eyes - both beautiful brown eyes - and you can’t help but surge forward to press your lips to his, a moan escaping your lips as you tangle your fingers in his hair, kissing your partner, your best friend, for the first time ever.

Marcus gives in. He lets himself enjoy the kiss, tasting the alcohol on you Mr tongue and the sweetness that was nothing but you. Long minutes pass with your tongue tangled with his before he gets control of himself. “We- baby, we can’t do this. Not like this.” He’s damn near crying at the fact but he shakes his head. “We’re drunk.”

You giggle, leaning in to kiss his lips again, “so? We are on vacation. You’re sexy. I’m - I want you Marcus. Always have. Please.” You whine, cupping his cheeks as you look into his eyes. “Please.”

“Fuck.” The alcohol doesn’t affect Marcus’s ability to spring an erection and you are begging him to fuck you. “Let me- fuck, sign the bill, baby.” He urges, motioning the bartender over. “We need the check now- she wants sex- so we’re going.” Marcus rushes out.

You giggle when the bartender chuckles, used to frantic men wanting the check to rush off and get laid but he’s never seen anyone as eager as Marcus. You take Marcus’s hand once he’s signed the check and you both rush out of the bar to the elevator. “Fuck. Always wanted you. Always thought you were the sexiest man in the room.” You admit when the door to the elevator closes.

Marcus turns and pushes you up against the wall of the elevator car and cups your cheek. “I’ve wanted you. Ignored it while I was married, tried to tell myself that it would go away but I want you. I just- I don’t want you to regret this, or to think I’m taking advantage.” His voice is slurred slightly but he blinks clearly for a moment. 

You grip his shoulders, “I won’t. I wanted you when you were married but I stayed away. I didn’t - I didn’t want to be a home wrecker. I want you Marcus.” You promise and he surges forward to press his lips to yours. You moan into his mouth, your tongue sliding against his and you’ve never felt like this before. Your heart pounds in your chest and you are relieved when the door dings for your floor since you are desperate for Marcus after so many years of being in love with him.

It takes so much concentrated effort to pull away from you, making Marcus groan loudly as he pulls away. The doors open and he takes your hand, dragging you from the car and pushing you up against the nearest wall to kiss you again, grinding his hard cock against your hip and sliding his hands down to squeeze your ass. “Fuck baby, you have been driving me crazy.”

You gasp, caressing his shoulders before you drag your nails down his back over his shirt. "You've driven me crazy since the moment we met." You joke breathlessly and he groans, forcing himself to pull away from you to drag you down the hall to your suite. "Fucking honeymoon suite." You giggle, "gonna see some action after all." You tease as Marcus fumbles to open the door. When the light goes green, he pushes the door open and you stumble in, spinning around to press your lips to his again.

God, it’s everything he’s ever wanted. Cupping the back of your head and kissing you like you are the air that he needs to breathe, he kicks the door closed and drops the key onto the door to start guiding you back through the room towards the bed. “Gonna- fuck - lay you out and do everything I’ve ever thought about to you.” He promises, kissing down your jaw and along your neck.

You moan, letting him walk you backwards towards the bed. His hands slide under your dress, pulling on it to drag it above your head and you fluster as he tosses the dress aside, leaving you in your underwear in front of him. “Marcus.” You whimper, working on unbuttoning his shirt.

“Gorgeous.” Fuck, his brother is a moron for thinking that you are less than what he needed. Marcus’s eyes roam over you greedily and he shrugs off the shirt when you unbutton it completely. Lunging forward, he kisses along your shoulder and down your chest before wrapping his lips around your covered nipple through your bra.

You moan, tangling your fingers in his hair, and you whimper as he sucks and bites on your nipple. You reach down to squeeze him through his pants, groaning at how thick he is, and you fumble to open his pants. “Condom?” You rasp, not wanting to stop once you’ve gotten started to get protection. You’re on birth control and you trust Marcus but you want to have the conversation when you’re completely sober. You pull back, shifting to lay down on the bed as he nods and scrambles to find his wash bag where he always keeps condoms.

It’s not that he packed condoms for this trip, he keeps them in his toiletry bag. Ever since he’s been divorced, that is. Unzipping it and tossing out his deodorant with a huff as he rifles through it, he manages to find a foil packet. “Haha!” He chuckles triumphantly, spinning around and rushing back out of the bathroom to show you, only to stop dead. 

Your eyes are closed, and he whispers your name. No answer. “Hey- are you-“ Marcus groans and hangs his head. You’ve fallen asleep. “Well shit.” He grumbles slightly but he drags himself over to the bed and pulls the covers out from under you, making you roll to your side and manages to get you covered up. Apparently sex wasn’t on the table.

****

You groan as you open your eyes, wincing at the sunshine coming in through the gap in the curtains. Your head is pounding and you know you had too much to drink last night. You turn to look at Marcus, his bare back facing you as he snores and you want to reach out and caress his back, trace the moles and freckles. It’s then that you realize you’re in your underwear. “Shit.” You hiss, rubbing your eyes. Trying to remember what happened last night. Did you sleep with him?

When Marcus hears the shower, he knows you are feeling the effects of the drinking last night. He has to pee, but he will wait, not wanting to intrude. Instead he picks up the phone and orders room service. Coffee, juice and coconut water along with some scones and croissants for a light fair. Later on you can tell him what you want for hangover food if you need it.

You dry off, brushing your teeth, and you make your way into the bedroom to find Marcus sitting on the sofa. “Morning.” He smiles at you and you stare at him for a moment, “uh, yeah. Morning.” You murmur, making your way over to your suitcase to get a swimsuit and coverup for today. “Bathroom is free.” You tell him awkwardly.

“Oh, uh, thanks.” Marcus feels the tension and stands up. He’s already gotten his own swim trunks out and grabs him. “I’ll just- I ordered some room service, should be here soon. Got some headache medicine on the table.” He offers, moving towards the bathroom.

“Thank you.” You murmur, watching him walk into the bathroom and you change while he showers. You sit on the sofa, desperate to remember if you fucked Marcus last night. You weren’t naked, you don’t feel sore…but maybe he was gentle. You frown, wishing you could remember it all. You had way too much to drink last night so you reach out to grab the water and headache meds Marcus had set down. Even now, he’s ridiculously sweet.

Sighing to himself, Marcus rubs his cheek as he stands in front of the mirror. Deciding to be lazy and not shave like he normally would. “It’s okay.” He mutters to himself. “It’s better this way, that way she doesn’t regret it.” He snorts and shakes his head, remembering how you had told him you’ve always wanted him. “She was drunk, don’t take it to heart.”

You open the door for room service, tipping after they set everything up on the balcony, and you look up as Marcus walks out of the bathroom, dressed in a t-shirt and trunks. "Breakfast is here." You tell him, preparing his coffee just how he likes it.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Marcus smiles as he walks over to you, feeling better after the shower and brushing his teeth. Last night was simply a fluke, too much booze and the result of you wanting to feel wanted because of his dumbass brother. You were partners and friends so he wasn’t going to bring it up unless you did. “I didn’t know if you wanted something heavy, but I knew caffeine was a must.”

“God yes. Coffee is always a must.” You groan, taking a sip of your coffee, “I appreciate it. I, uh, I kind of had a lot to drink last night.” You rub your forehead, “I don’t really remember much about it. What happened?” You ask, wanting to hear if he remembers what happened.

Marcus winces slightly, afraid of that. “Well, we did have a lot to drink and we-“ Marcus takes a sip of coffee to fortify himself. “We made out and you passed out on the bed when I went to get a condom.” He admits.

You hiss, feeling so stupid. You fell asleep before Marcus could even properly touch you. “Oh God. I- I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have - I was drunk and we - your brother - your family - shit. I’m so sorry Marcus.” You tell him, rushing out an apology since you know he wouldn’t be interested in you. It must’ve been the drinks. Thank God you passed out before you could take advantage of the situation, of him. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t-“ Immediately reaching out, Marcus squeezes your hand briefly before letting go. “I was a very willing participant, I just- I’m glad that you fell asleep rather than doing something you would have regretted.” He shakes his head and looks down at his coffee. “We’ll blame it on the alcohol and forget it happened, okay?”

He wants to forget it. That stings but you understand, nodding as you squeeze his hand before letting go. “Yeah. It was the alcohol.” You murmur your agreement, turning to look out at the glistening ocean, focusing on the waves instead of the way your heart breaks. Marcus doesn’t want you, it was just a chance to get laid while you were both wasted.

Marcus hates the look on your face, sure that you are thinking about Brad and how you should be married to him, if he weren’t an asshole. “Did you mean it?” Marcus asks suddenly, making you turn back to look at him. “Last night. You said that- before I forget it, I just have to know. You said that it should have been me. That you agreed to marry the wrong brother. That you had always wanted me. Did you mean it?”

You swallow harshly, keeping your eyes fixed on his as the memory of saying that hits you. “Yes. I did. I- It’s always been you Marcus. I shouldn’t have agreed to marry your brother. I - I have always wanted you, always been in love with you. It’s you, Marcus. I’m in love with you.” You confess with a breathless whisper, steeling yourself for the ultimate rejection. You know he just sees you as a partner, as a friend, as an almost sister-in-law.

“Fuck.” Marcus whispers in shock before he stands so quickly the chair nearly topples backwards. He rushes around the small, intimate table and ignores the way your eyes widen so he can cup your cheek. “I told you last night that I’ve always wanted you. That’s true. I had feelings that weren’t right when I was married to Julia, but I ignored them. I love you too, sweetheart.”

You stare at him in shock, unable to believe that he feels the same way. You can’t help but surge forward to press your lips to his, your heart pounding in your chest as you shift to stand up so you can press your entire body against Marcus’s. “I love you.” You whisper against his lips.

Marcus lets out a small, happy giggle. “I love you too.” He whispers back, smiling so wide that his cheeks hurt. “I- I didn’t want you to think that I was taking advantage.” He confesses. “That’s the only reason I didn’t tell you on the plane. Or fuck, at the wedding.”

You caress his cheeks, “I wish you had told me before the wedding. I was calling it off anyway. We have wasted so much time. Dealing with two cheaters instead of being happy together.” You feel awful for agreeing to marry his brother. “I love you.” You can’t stop saying it now that you can actually voice how you feel about him. “Can we have a do over of last night?” You ask, sliding your hands down to his chest.

Instead of answering, Marcus slides his hands down to your hips and leans in slowly. Watching your eyes and giving you time to back out. There’s no mistaking your meaning and he wants this. Both of you are sober and know what you're doing and his cock is already getting hard at the mere idea of getting to touch you.

When his lips touch yours, the heat that you vaguely recall from last night reignites and you press your lips harder against his. Your tongue sliding against his as he slowly walks you back into the suite and towards the bedroom. You reach for the hem of his shirt, laughing at the way he pulls back so you can pull the shirt over his head. Your lips immediately latch onto his neck while you caress his chest.

“Fuck.” Marcus’s eyes flutter and he slides his hands up under the coverup you are wearing to grab your ass with both hands. “God, you better not fall asleep on me again.” He teases. “Have to jerk off in the bathroom again.”

You chuckle against his skin, kissing along his chest until you can kiss the skin over his thumping heart. “I’m fully awake.” You promise, reaching down to squeeze him through his swimming trunks. “And apparently so are you.” You tease, shifting to kneel down so you can pull his trunks down to his ankles. “Fuck me, Marcus.” You gasp at the sight of his thick cock, not even fully hard. You spit into your palm, reaching out to grip his length and slowly start to pump him.

The groan he lets out is almost painful. The sight of you on your knees in front of him is one that he’s imagined several times and reality beats it by a mile. “Going to.” He jokes, cracking a smile at you as you slowly tug on his cock and make him twitch in your hand. “First- first I’m gonna l-lick your pussy. Make you cum all over my face.” He groans, staring down at you.

You moan at his words, knowing he will do as he says. He never breaks his promises. You want to see him fall apart first so you lean forward, flicking your tongue over the leaking head of his cock before taking it into your mouth, your eyes meeting his as his chest heaves.

“Shit!” Marcus’s hips buck forward, eyes wide at the feel of your mouth on his cock. Moaning your name, his hand comes down to rest on the back of your head. “Oh fuck baby, you don’t- you don’t have to-to do that.” He promises, not wanting you to feel like you have to give him a blow job.

He’s too fucking sweet, telling you you don’t have to suck his cock. You want to. You don’t respond, simply answering his comment by taking him deep into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks while you keep your eyes on his.

His knees nearly buckle, groaning at the pressure of your tongue against his frenulum. “Fuck, shit, shit baby.” He whines, reaching behind you to pull on the string of your bikini top. “I- fuck, sit on my face and suck my cock.” He begs. “Want to touch you. Taste your sweet pussy.”

You reluctantly pull off of his cock, letting your bikini top fall to the floor to expose your tits as you stand up. You untie the bottoms, letting them fall and exposing every inch of your flesh to his hungry eyes.

“Fuck baby, you are so goddamn gorgeous.” Marcus’s cock twitches, adding to his comment and he steps forward and reaches for you. Wanting to feel your nude body pressed against his while he kisses you again and turns the two of you towards the bed.

You gently push him away so he can lay down and you straddle his stomach backwards before shuffling back so you are hovering over his face and his cock is near your mouth.

“Jesus, look at you.” Marcus groans, palming your ass cheeks and spreading them wide so he can look at every inch of your beautiful sex. “Already wet.” He leans in and nips playfully at your ass. “Wanna see how wet you get.” He comments before he ducks his head down and licks a long stripe up from the hood of your clit to your puckered hole.

You cry out against his thigh, thankful you got waxed prior to your wedding day, and you rock back onto his mouth when his tongue is pulled away from your flesh. “Marcus” You beg breathlessly and wrap your fingers  around his cock so you can take him into your mouth once more.

Marcus loves the way that you sound. The noises you make as you grind back on his tongue. He loves eating pussy, doesn’t shy away from it and loves making the woman he’s with feel good. His tongue flicks over your clit before he pushes it inside you, gasping when you wrap your pretty little lips around his cock again.

You moan around his thick cock, jaw stretched as you try to give him as much pleasure as he is giving you. With a whimper, you take him deep as his tongue flicks over your clit several times, making you grind back onto him.

Marcus could die a happy man right now. His nose is pressed almost into you as he licks and sucks on your clit, wanting to see how quickly you can cum from it. He groans, loving how eagerly you are bobbing on his cock. It’s been so long since he’s had a blowjob. He hadn’t really taken any of the one night stands up on their halfhearted offers.

You moan around his cock, close to your own orgasm but you desperately want him to cum down your throat too. “Fuck Marcus.” One particular suck has his cock dropping from your mouth as you moan his name again, cunt fluttering with how close you are. “God. You’re gonna - I’m gonna -” You choke as you cum, clenching around nothing as his lips suck hard on your clit.

Moaning, Marcus works you through it. He keeps the pressure against your clit and sucks like his life depends on it. Holding onto your hips while your slick coats his face and your hole pulses in front of his eyes.

You gasp, thighs shaking as he works you through it until you slump against him, totally relaxed from the pleasure surging through you. “Want - want to ride you.” You murmur, shifting off of him. You reach down to pump his cock, “I’m - I have an IUD. I’m clean. Got tested after I found out after Brad. Thankfully he didn’t give me anything. I want to feel you…if you’re comfortable with that.”

“Fuck yes.” His teeth nearly rattle he’s nodding so hard. “I- I get tested regularly. Last one was a month ago, haven’t slept with anyone since.” He promises you, knowing you would remember his annual physical he had to go for. “Are you sure that you want to ride?” He asks softly, stroking your side.

You nod, shifting to straddle his thighs and you lift up to grip his cock. “I want you Marcus.” You promise him, looking into those eyes, and he swallows harshly as you notch him at your entrance and slowly, so slowly, sink down onto his cock. Your eyes flutter closed at the feeling of him inside of you and you whimper at the way he stretches you out.

“Oh God.” Marcus moans softly, resisting the urge to rock his hips up. Knowing you might need time to adjust. He’s not overly long but plenty of women say that he’s thick. “Feels perfect baby. God, you feel so good.” His thumbs rub circles on your hips as he stares up at you in wonder, thinking you are the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen.

You look down at him as he stares at you and he makes you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. “You feel good too.” You finally settle enough to start moving, slowly rocking your hips experimentally and you love the way his mouth opens in an ‘o’ shape. “I love you.” You murmur, bending over to kiss him.

“Love you too.” He gasps out against your lips, his arms coming around you to hold you against him while you roll your hips back and he starts thrusting up. “So fucking- god it was killing me, getting ready to watch you marry him.”

“I - I only agreed to marry him because - because he wanted to marry me. I didn’t - I wasn’t in love with him. He wasn’t you. I loved him but I wasn’t in love with him. You - I adore you Marcus. I love you. Always have. I kept imagining you being there at the altar waiting for me.” You admit, kissing along his jaw.

“His loss.” He murmurs, turning his head and kissing you. One hand slides up your back to hold the back of your neck while his tongue slides into your mouth to taste you. Smiling against your lips when he pulls back. “You’re way too good for him. For me.”

You pant when his cock hits just right inside of you, a desperate whine escaping your hips. “Fuck baby. No. I’m just right for you. Like you’re right for me. A perfect match. Just us.” You gasp against his jaw when he hits that spot again. “Enough - enough talking about your brother. I want you to- to make me cum.” You demand playfully, breathlessly, as he pushes up into you.

Marcus growls, pushing up and rolling you over to where you are on your back and he is above you. His eyes soften and he looks down at you. “Hey baby.” He coos as he rolls his hips and slides a hand down your thigh to shift it high on his hip. Starting off at a slow pace but quickly getting into a steady rhythm

You cup his cheeks, keeping your eyes focused on his, loving how his eyes sparkle with the love you now know he has for you. “God, you feel so good Marcus.” You caress his cheeks, rocking your hips up while he pushes deep and you are close, so close.

He’s not fucking you right now, he’s making love to you. Reaching up, he takes your hand and threads his fingers through yours and presses them both into the bed near your head while he rocks above you. Panting out your name while he looks at you and ducking his head down every other thrust to kiss you again.

You gasp, loving how deep he gets inside of you, and you whimper his name. “Oh God baby. You’re gonna - I’m - oh shit. Shit.” Your mouth falls open in a silent cry and you tilt your head back as you clamp down on his cock, soaking him as your orgasm warms your entire body.

Marcus kisses along your throat and jaw while you clench down around him. “Good girl. Good fucking girl.” He hisses, eyes closed because of how tight you are squeezing him. “Perfect.” He groans, pushing into you harder. “Gimme another. Want you- want you to cum again.”

He works you through it, pushing you onto your next orgasm and you moan his name again. “Oh fuck baby. Please baby. I-” You press your lips to his, crossing your ankles behind his back as he continues to thrust into you. “Marcus. I love you.” You choke before you cum again, clamping down on his cock and gripping him impossibly tight.

Marcus groans, his thrusts stuttering as he tries to work you through it again but he can’t. “Love you, love you so much baby. So much.” He is only good for another couple of thrusts before he’s crying out your name and burying his cock deep, filling you up with spurts of his hot cum.

You gasp at the feeling of him filling you up, your fingers tangling in his hair as he fills you up. You close your eyes, just savoring the moment you have dreamed about so many times with Marcus. He grunts into your neck and you sigh, lowering your legs and letting him just stay inside of you. “God, I love you.” You murmur, unable to stop saying it.

“I love you too.” Of course there would have to be serious conversations, questions to be answered but it doesn’t have to be right now. Now he just wants to enjoy you and this for alone with you. “What do you say we take another little nap and then we find some real food?” Marcus hums, smiling at you. “Or do you want to order room service all day? Stay in bed?”

You caress his chest, “is it bad if I say stay in bed and order room service?” You joke, “it’s Christmas Eve. I think we are entitled to enjoy ourselves.” You remind him playfully, pecking his lips. “Let’s spend all day in bed, I still want to suck your cock. Have you cum down my throat. I have a lot of fantasies.”

“Fuuuuuuuck.” Marcus groans and kisses you again. “That sounds like Christmas is cumming early.” He jokes, winking at you for the dirty pun before he reaches up and caresses your cheek. “Baby, I just want to be with you. And I love the idea of us staying in bed. No clothes Christmas Eve.”

Your cheeks hurt from smiling but you can’t stop, so pleased to be with him. You never imagined you’d end up with Marcus. Between Julia and Brad, it seemed impossible. “No clothes Christmas.” You joke, kissing his jaw. “Let me clean up and we can nap before we order room service. You’ve exhausted me.” You chuckle, patting his chest so he moves and he pulls out of you with a groan.

Marcus rolls over to his back and he watches you climb out of the bed. Biting his lip on a grin, he swats your ass and laughs when you gasp and squawk at him. “Oh god.” He looks up at the ceiling as you walk into the bathroom. “I can’t believe I’m here right now with you. Like this.” He calls out before he gets up himself to clean up. “It’s like a fucking dream. Or a Christmas miracle.”

“Our Christmas miracle.” You tell him as he enters the bathroom while you turn on the shower. “Shower with me, Pike.” You demand and he nods, “yes ma’am.” You sigh, pulling him close while you wait for the shower to heat up. “If I am ever Mrs. Pike for real, I want to be your wife. I want to be yours.” You murmur, feeling slightly insecure as you look into his eyes.

Marcus breaks out into a happy smile, leaning in and brushing his nose against yours before he cups your cheeks and kisses your lips. “I want that too.” He confesses. “I would make sure you never regretted it.”

“I could never regret you. Never.” You promise, “I’ve wanted you for so long.” You murmur, kissing his jaw. “Let’s shower baby. Then we can nap and order food. Then you can fuck me until it’s Christmas.” You tease, stepping under the now hot water. “Come on baby.” You call to him, tilting your head under the steam.

Marcus hums, stepping into the shoulder and kissing your shoulder. “I have to admit, the very naughty side of me wanted to get the chance to touch you while we were here.” He nips your skin and then licks the area to soothe it. “But I didn’t want to ruin things between us or take advantage of you.” He keeps saying that, but it’s true. It’s already bad enough people will suspect that you’ve been secretly cheating with him or that he did take advantage of your heartbreak. But he could live with that if the alternative is not having you. “So this is just the perfect way things worked out.”

You smile, turning to face him so you can wrap your arms around his neck, grateful for the large rain shower overhead. “You could never take advantage of me, Marcus. You’re too kind. Too considerate. You aren’t - your brother was a selfish asshole. You aren’t. I don’t care what other people say or think, I know what I want. It’s you. It’s always been you.” You promise, leaning in to kiss his jaw.

“Yeah?” Marcus grins and puts his arms around you to brace your back against the tile as he crowds you. “That’s good.” His own kisses scatter over your skin and he groans quietly. “You are so beautiful, baby. Sexy. A goddess.” He praises.

You sigh at his kisses, tilting your head for him to get more access, “Marcus.” You murmur with bliss. “You’re - God, you’re intoxicating. Julia was a fool. A fucking idiot to let you go, but I won’t complain because now I have you and I’m never letting you go.” You caress his shoulders and back as the water slides down his skin.

It’s a fantastic feeling, to be wanted. To be told that you adore him. He’s still recovering from the sex earlier, but that doesn’t stop him from sliding his hand between your thighs, finger starting to slowly swirl around your clit. He wants to learn every part of you. To know what makes you scream. “Love you baby. God, you feel so good.”

You moan at the way his finger rubs your clit, so soft yet his finger gives you enough stimulation to react. “How - how are we ever going to leave this room? I feel like - like a part of me is missing when you aren’t touching me.” You tell him breathlessly, tilting your head up and he takes advantage to kiss along your neck. “I love - love it.” You know he’s still recovering otherwise you’d wrap your fingers around his cock. “Fuck.” You hiss when he rubs harder.

“Good.” Marcus grins against your pulse and scraps his teeth over your skin. “We’re in our ‘honeymoon’ phase.” He teases, since this would have been a honeymoon, but he’s glad it’s not. “Gonna spend the next two days in this room with you, making you cum.” He promises, twisting his wrist and sliding two fingers deep inside you, pushing through his cum and curling up. “Merry Christmas.”

Your gasp echoes against the shower tiles as his fingers push deep, curling, while his thumb rubs your clit. "Fuck Marcus, baby. Mer-Merry Christmas." You choke out, clinging to him as his fingers pump in and out of you. "Oh fuck." You moan, "oh fuck." You reach between you to find his cock hardening, wrapping your fingers around it.

“Fuck.” Marcus hisses quietly, his hips jerking forward. “You- fuck, I love your hand around my cock.” He admits breathlessly, pumping his finger into your wet heat faster. “Jesus, I want you again. Already. Acting like I’m 18 again.”

You love it, fucking love how much he wants you. His fingers curl against your g-spot and it makes you cry out. You clamp down on his fingers, your own hand squeezing his cock as you cum, head tilted back against the tiles while you moan his name.

“So pretty, fuck, you look so pretty when you cum.” Marcus hums into your skin, kissing behind your ear and finally your lips while he works you through your orgasm. His cock is throbbing now, a result of how much he’s wanted you and not being with anyone in a long time. “Turn around.” He demands, twitching in the still loose hold you have on him. “Wanna fuck you against the wall.”

You spin around, letting him push you up against the tile, and he nudges your ankle to spread your legs. You arch your back and he grips his cock, notching himself at your entrance and he pushes deep inside of you, making you moan softly. You reach behind you to caress his hip, "fuck me Marcus. I want you. Hard."

His forehead presses against your shoulder and he moans at your order. “Fuck.” He has fucked hard before, Julia usually preferred it that way, but he’s eager to see how you react. One arm comes around your sternum as he pulls his hips back and slams them forward, pushing you into the wall from the force.

You cry out when he thrusts deep, his hips hitting your ass and he starts to fuck you hard. You love making love with Marcus but right now, you need him to fuck you and fulfill the burning desire you've had for him for so long. You moan when he squeezes your tits, pinching your nipples as he punches hard into your guts, giving you what you need.

Marcus pants into your ear, grunting with every harsh thrust as the water beats down on his back. “Fuck, you- take it so w-well.” He tells you breathless, squeezing your tits and using them to anchor you against him as he presses close. “Fuck baby. Feel how deep I am?”

You nod, breathless at how hard he's fucking you. "Y-yes. S - so good baby. So fuck-fucking good." You pant out, eyes squeezed shut as he slams into your cunt over and over again. "Fuck, you are so good baby. You're so good."

He lets go of one of your breasts, slapping his hand against the shower tiles. “Fuck, need you to cum.” He growls in your ear, sliding that hand back down to your clit. “I’m gonn- you’re gonna make me cum too quick.”

You moan when his fingers find your clit. “I’ll - I’m - oh fuck. Oh fuck!” You squeal, clamping down on his cock as he rubs your clit and pushes deep to hit something incredible that sends you over the edge. You shake against the cool tile and he groans at how tight you get, trying to thrust and seek his own orgasm.

“Jesus fuck.” Marcus groans, his pace faltering and his thrusts becoming sloppy. Rocking up onto the balls of his feet while he grinds up into you, barely pulling out an inch before he’s pushing back in. “Fuck.” Marcus bites down on your shoulder, stiffening and pumping another wave of his cum into your fluttering cunt.

You moan at the feel of his cum painting your walls, your eyes still closed as a smile appears on your face. It’s more than you could’ve ever asked and it’s Marcus. It’s perfect. “I know I keep saying it…but she was a fool. God, you’re so good, baby.” You reach back to run your fingers through his wet hair.

“I love you.” Marcus hums, kissing the teeth marks he left in your skin and kissing up your neck. “It’s good that they aren’t in the picture. We can be happy together and they can do whatever makes them happy.”

“Yes. I want to be together when we get back, no matter what people say. I’m not giving you up.” You turn your head to awkwardly kiss him but you don’t care, sighing into his mouth. “I don’t want to - are we - would you say boyfriend and girlfriend?” It seems juvenile when you feel so strongly for Marcus.

“For now.” Marcus smiles as he kisses you again. “Give it a little time before we announce that we are going to be planning another wedding to make you a Pike.” As often as he gets overly eager and jumps the gun, he doesn’t feel like he is now. Not when you are on the same page as he is. “We are definitely romantically entangled.”

“Lovers.” You coo teasingly after he pulls out of you and makes you moan at the loss. 

He chuckles, “lovers. Best friends. Partners. Soon to be married.” 

You cup his cheek and kiss his lips, “I like the sound of that.” You murmur, kissing him again before you both decide to wash up properly. Marcus grabs the body wash to start cleaning you up, making you groan when his fingers dig into your flesh.

“After this, I say we order some more food and climb back into bed.” Marcus suggests, smiling at the prospect of spending Christmas Eve in bed with you. “I did bring your Christmas present with me, hoping it would cheer you up.”

“I- shit. I don’t have yours, I didn’t - I thought-” 

Marcus cuts you off, “you didn’t know I was going to gate crash your vacation.” He reminds you and you nod. 

“I know. I - I’ll give you a Christmas blowjob.” You joke, making him chuckle. After showering, you order your room service and you are wearing the hotel robes when the doorbell rings for your room. “That was quick.” You frown, “can you get that baby? I’m just gonna change.”

Marcus is practically whistling as he strolls over to the door and reaches for it. “The service is qui- Brad?” His compliment dies on his lips as he sees his brother standing in the doorway. “What the fuck are you doing here?” He demands, fully aware of his lack of clothing except for the robe. 

Your eyes widen at hearing your ex fiancés name coming from Marcus’s lips and you tie your robe back up as you make your way to the door. “What the fuck are you doing here? In my fiancée’s room? In fucking Hawaii?” Brad demands, wanting to know what the fuck is going on but he already knows judging by the robes. 

“Ex fiancée.” You hiss, still furious with him.

Marcus doesn’t regret being with you, but he hates that Brad has found out this way. “I should have fucking known.” Brad sneers, shaking his head. “Of course you used this as an opportunity to crawl into bed with her. You took advantage, like you always do.” 

Marcus huffs, “no, I didn’t. I came to help my friend and partner heal from being cheated on by her fiancé. I didn’t take advantage of anything.”

You shake your head, “what the hell are you doing here? Marcus decided to join me on this trip as my friend, he didn’t come here to seduce me. I - I have slept with him because - because I’m in love with him. I’ve always been in love with him. I agreed to marry you because you were the next best thing. It’s always been Marcus.” You know those words will cut deep but it’s true and you won’t deny it, not now, not after what Brad has done. “I didn’t even look at Marcus as more than a friend when he was married and when we were together. We were just friends but that changed now that we are both single.”

Brad’s face drops and his eyes widen slightly. “Baby- come on, it was just a mistake.” He reaches for you and Marcus shifts slightly to intercept him but you are already flinching back. “I just- I was nervous and she took advantage of that.” He murmurs, placing the blame squarely on Julia and glaring at his brother. “Just like my so-called brother.” He hisses. “Thanks for looking out for me.” He spits sarcastically.

“Hey.” You place your hand on Marcus’s chest as you lean around him. “Marcus didn’t make the first move, I did. And it was mutual. No one cheated, no one lied. We are two single people enjoying our vacation together…now as a couple. Brad, what are you even doing here? Planning to get me back? I could never be with you. First of all, I love Marcus. I’m in love with him. Second, you cheated. You fucked up. I was going to marry you. I agreed to it and then I found out about Julia. Fucking your brother’s ex wife. Really putting your family first.”

“Baby please.” Julia had kicked him to the curb as soon as his parents got done tearing him a new asshole and telling him that he was not only going to pay back every dime of the money that Andrew was going to pay your father for the wedding, but he could expect to be less than pleased with his inheritance when the time comes unless he changes his ways. He has nothing right now and he needs you back, his parents love you. “I - I did fuck up, but it made me realize how much I love you. You really want to do this? Be with Marcus?” He huffs, always finding himself to the better of the two men. “He’s only fucking you to get back at me for fucking his ex-wife.”

His words hit for a second, maybe doubting if Marcus truly loves you, but you remember the way he’s touched you and you know it’s real. “I don’t love you anymore. You killed my love for you the moment I saw those messages on your iPad. Please Brad. Leave me alone. Leave Marcus alone. Let us be together and don’t blame your brother, he’s done nothing wrong. It’s you who ruined us. It’s your fault and I don’t want to be with you. I’m with Marcus.”

Brad’s pleas with you not working, he turns to Marcus. “You’re going to do this to mom and dad? You’re going to split the family up. We’ll never be around for the holidays together if you do this.” 

Marcus chuckles, aware of his brother’s manipulation tactics. “You are the one that is choosing that. I can take a lie detector test and say without an ounce of doubt that I never cheated on Julia or touched your ex-finacée while you two were together.” He tells Brad. “You are the one who can’t say the same. You did fuck up. You cheated on the most wonderful woman on the planet, for a woman who obviously dumped your ass. By the way, did you like the strap? She was always pissed I wouldn’t let her do it.” Marcus asks with a smirk on his face, aware that his brother sees himself as a macho type. There was nothing wrong with pegging if it's your thing, but he wouldn’t want people knowing about it. 

Brad’s face falls and he blushes a deep red, making you bite your lip to smother your giggle at his suddenly flustered face. “I, uh, I don’t - we - she - uh, fuck. Fuck you Marcus. I’ll make sure you are isolated from the family for holidays. I won’t take this defeat.” Brad growls, the redness still there. 

“Defeat? Fucking hell, Bradley. We are over. Marcus and I got together after you cheated on me. It’s over. Get over it and accept the consequences of your actions. Now, if you don’t mind, Marcus and I are waiting on room service. Perhaps you can find another woman in this hotel willing to fuck you for Christmas.”

Marcus closes the door on the angry face of his brother, mouth open with some smart assed retort, but he doesn’t give him the satisfaction of getting the last word in. “Fuck.” Marcus huffs. “I knew he was an asshole, but he really expected you to get back together with him after cheating on you? I should have kicked his ass at the wedding.”

“Fuck him. He just flew all the way out here to try and get me back and thought that I’d be putting up with that bullshit because he flew all the way here. No. We aren’t dealing with that. He can fuck off. I love you.” You cup his cheeks, “I don’t want him. I want you.” You promise, looking into his eyes.

“I want you too.” Marcus promises sincerely. “I’m not doing this to get back at Julia. I don’t care what she’s doing, we are divorced. I’m disappointed in my brother, but my sense of caring for what she does ended the day I got divorced.”

“I know, baby.” You lean in to kiss him softly. “I know you and I know you’re here because you love me. I want you to be mine. Forever. One day at a time but that’s what I want. Now, let’s forget that asshole and celebrate Christmas.” You smile, placing your palm over his heart.

****

“Merry Christmas.” Marcus hums, kissing the back of your neck and tugging you closer to him where you are snuggled up in bed together. After his brother left, the two of you had gotten your room service and spent the day exactly as you had planned. Naked Christmas Eve. Making Marcus fall even more in love with you with every kiss and word of affection you exchanged. Now, he’s holding the woman that he loves and it’s Christmas morning, he’s excited to give you the gift he had brought for you.

You smile, turning in his arms and you throw your leg over his hip, “Merry Christmas, baby.” You coo, kissing him. This is the best Christmas you’ve ever had. You kiss along his jaw, “God, I love you.” You murmur, knowing how you felt about him before is intensified with the way he is looking at you now.

“Love you too.” Marcus lazily kisses you, the kiss of a man who has all the time in the world. It’s passionate, but he doesn’t let it turn heated, knowing he wants to give you the gift. “Let me give you the present I brought you, baby.” He sends you a wink. “Besides myself of course, you’ve already got that.”

You sit up, watching him as he makes his way over to his suitcase, and you are eager to open the present. “I didn’t get anything for you since you crashed my honeymoon.” You joke, watching him dig around the case. “A Christmas blowjob will have to suffice.”

Snorting, Marcus looks over his shoulder. “I will never turn down a blowjob.” He tells you before he turns back to pull out the small, beautifully wrapped box. He had to pay the little kiosk at the mall to wrap it since his wrapping skills suck but he’s happy that it didn’t get too badly crushed in his luggage. “Here it is.” He grins like a little boy as he dives back into the bed to excitedly give you the gift.

You look down at the wrapping, fingering the edge of the paper for a moment before you carefully open the present, exposing the box. You open the box, gasping at the beautiful pendant with the letter ‘P’ on the chain. You caress the pendant and look up at Marcus, “it’s beautiful, baby. ‘P’ for Pike?” You guess.

“Yeah.” He bites his lip, wondering if you hate it now since it was supposed to be a ‘welcome to the family’ gift. “I just- I like the idea of you wearing it now as kind of a reminder.” He murmurs softly, looking from the necklace up to your eyes. “One day your name will be Pike.”

A grin appears on your face at the way he declares you’ll be a Pike one day. “Unless your parents adopt me…” You tease, shifting closer to him. “I can’t wait to change my name to Pike. I love you baby, one day…I can’t wait to be your wife.” You promise, knowing you’re more certain about being his wife than you ever were to be Brad’s. “I love it. I love you.” You lean in to kiss Marcus to thank him.

“I love you too.” Marcus grins, pressing his lips to yours. “Merry Christmas baby.” It’s probably the best Christmas he’s ever had. Between the canceled wedding, crashing your solo honeymoon trip and finding out that you are just as in love with him as he is with you, Marcus Pike has his Christmas miracle.