#we have one more scenario to do then we're done

[aita-polls]

Am I The Asshole for telling someone that their autism doesn't make them stupid?

Bad title, I know I know, hear me out, yeah?

So I (22 F) was living with my now ex girlfriend at the time (25 F). We're poor college students, I had a job, she had SSI and food stamps.

This was during Covid lockdowns. I'm high risk due to a shitty immune system and asthma. I also have anxiety and a tendency to catastrophize. My ex, due to comorbidities, was high risk for a ton of reasons. I don't want to list her entire medical history but what's relevant to this scenario is that she's autistic, and has some memory issues. She's also very particular about food safety. Due to reasons I handled our finances, and about 80% of the household chores, including all the cooking.

So the night in question, I asked her if she could set some chicken out to dethaw before bed so we could have it the next day. I texted her the instructions:

"Take 4 pieces of chicken out of the large bag in the freezer. Place in a Ziploc bag and seal it. Then set that bag in a tupperware dish and place it on the bottom shelf of the fridge."

She agreed and said that was easy enough.

The next day. I found our entire 15 lbs bag of chicken sitting in a popcorn bowl filled with lukewarm water that had been there for 10 hours. Some of the chicken wasn't even below the waterline. Obviously no longer safe to eat.

I admit, I got really upset. I was tired, and our entire source of protein for the next two weeks was wasted and we couldn't afford more. I was burnt out from studying full time with a part time job and doing 80% of chores, and I trusted her with this one little thing. This led to an argument between us, she claimed that I know I need to give her detailed instructions because she's "autistic and stupid."

Which of course I just got madder. I don't remember my exact words but it was something along the lines of "autism doesn't make you stupid, I know you're smarter than this, what's going on?"

She continued to double down saying she just didn't know how to cook, my instructions weren't clear, I'm being ableist and then she stormed out. She then used all of her money left that was supposed to go to her pain meds to buy more chicken, then spent two weeks in pain because no meds.

We didn't stay together long after this. But it does still bother me, was I being ableist? Should I have been more understanding, or just done it myself?

[neverendingford]

.

[maximumzombiecreator]

I've seen a lot of posts recently where people say they can't find players to play non-5e TTRPGs with. As someone who moves countries every few years, I've had to rebuild my roster of local TTRPG players from scratch a number of times. Here's how I do it.

Caveats first: while I've done this in small cities, I have always done it in cities. If you're in, like, a rural environment, you might just not have enough interested people around. You can always do it online in that case. I'm not really going to cover finding players online, except to say you should probably look for communities for the specific system you want to play. Most of them are enthusiastically looking for new participants. Especially game masters.

Okay, first things first, you gotta find people. I generally find I get better results if the search is location first. That is, rather than using city-wide or regional Looking For Group type internet groups, I look for physical locations that host gaming groups. Local game stores, public libraries, gaming cafes/bars, etc.

Being location first helps avoid some common bad behaviours. Online LFG groups often have a few shitty people hanging around who can't find long term groups because they're shitty. They'll jump at the opportunity to join new groups where people don't know them, because everyone else knows better than to game with them. But location-based groups are better at filtering this. Someone who harasses people at an LGS can be banned from the store, but decentralized online groups struggle to handle these situations in my personal experience.

Being location first also solves the next problem, which is giving you a location to play. Eventually, when I have a long term group, I'll host games in my home. But there needs to be a level of trust before that feels safe, and we're looking for randoms, so for now we need a public gaming venue. If, for whatever reason, there aren't dedicated gaming spaces where you can do this, I've had the most success gaming in cafes or restaurants during off peak hours. I've run a bunch of games in restaurants from, like, 2pm-5pm on a Saturday, and as long as you're buying drinks and some snacks or something, and being polite and non-disruptive, it's typically not too hard to get permission.

Now, if that local group has enough interest in a non-5e system that I'm interested in running, I'll happily do that, and it's pretty free from there. Most people who are willing to play one other system will gladly try others if they find they like playing with you. But even in big cities, I feel it's pretty often the case that postings for local games of other systems don't wind up actually finding successful groups.

So, here is the bit where, unfortunately, finding people to play non-5e games with involves playing some 5e. Community groups are always looking for more GMs to run games, so I will set out to run a number of short 5e adventures, each with different groups. These are typically oneshots that I have the option of extending for another 1 or 2 sessions.

I always run adventures that I've written myself for these, because I want my particular GMing style to really come through. Looking for players is a two way street. I'm looking for people I like GMing for, but I'm also looking to make sure they know what they're getting. Especially if I'm going to ask them to play a system they've never tried, they should know that there's going to be something they enjoy. So, these short adventures are full of the types of silly but sincere NPCs I tend to run, the open-ended scenarios I prefer, the tropes I favour, etc. If someone isn't going to enjoy playing with me, I want them to know it from this adventure.

I structure the adventures to give me a lot of flexibility in terms of how long they run. They're nearly always mysteries, but with some active component to the mystery, so that if things drag or dawdle I can have the villain show up and force a final confrontation. They're also structured to have a natural "next thing." You find and defeat the villain, but there's an implied next villain you'll be going after. That way, if the group is working well and I want to continue, it's easy to present the option to the group. But if I'm not interested in continuing with the group, the next thing can just serve as an "and the adventures continue" implied epilogue, and the game still feels complete.

I don't like players just bringing their own character sheet to the table. Someone who brings a disruptive character can ruin a session without me getting much useful information out of it, other than that I don't want to play with that person. And if it ruins the experience for the other players, I'm often out the opportunity to game with those people, through neither of our faults. I've experimented with both asking players to submit their characters in advance or making them choose between a collection of premade characters. The former is a good check for whether people will put in a basic amount of effort and follow instructions, but it can dissuade people who are just looking to dip their toes into playing for the first time. The latter can turn off players who are into crunchy games and are excited about character building. As a result, I'll usually choose the approach based on what non-5e system I'm currently most excited about running. Do I want to get together a group for a rules-light game? Premade characters it is. Looking to run some PF2e? Please submit your character sheet in advance. Some locations also do more drop-in based games, in which case it's premades all day.

As I'm running the game, I'm observing the players. There's a simple vibe check, obviously. Do I like playing with this person? But I'm also looking at how they play. What are they here for, what's exciting them? Are they struggling with finding optimal turns in combat, or do they like mastering a system? Are they curious about the world, or do they glaze over when the spotlight isn't on them? Do they light up in dialogue scenes? Do they want to try crazy things outside of their on-sheet abilities? Remember, later, I'm going to try to persuade this person to try to play a game they've never played before. I need to know what specifically is going to excite them.

I have (always with permission) recorded sessions before to go over in making these choices, but honestly even just a few small reminder notes will help me unravel things later. If a session goes well, I'll ask at the end for people to give me their contact information if they'd be interested in playing again. Non-committal, at their comfort, and it doesn't single out people that I don't want to play with. I can always just not call them. Usually I find I'm interested in playing again with a little more than half of the players I meet this way. In my experience, it's fairly rare for a player to say they're not interested in playing again, TTRPGs rule and there's a DM shortage.

What I usually do is keep running these until I have enough people in mind to run something else, even if it isn't the system I'm most excited about. Probably it would be better to spend more time in this starter phase building up more connections, but after running like 4-5 5e adventures, I'm usually more than ready to run anything else, and if I have to shelve my Lancer ideas because I've mostly found crunch-averse players, I'm usually fine with that.

So, next comes the invites. Now, most players I meet this way will eventually be open to playing most games, but listen: you can put people well out of their comfort zone for their third TTRPG, but you gotta be real careful with their second. Most of the time, the game I'm inviting people to will be their first real exposure to a non-5e TTRPG. If they don't like it, they will run back to the safety of 5e and you will never get them out of it again. So I am very careful in picking the right system for the players I am inviting.

Whatever the new system I want to run is, I will set up a pilot session for it. I am very clear to players that I will teach them the system at the session, they do not need to know it in advance. Eventually, when I have a reliable group of TTRPG people to play with, I'll expect them to be able to pick up systems without a ton of help, but for players that are only used to the complexity of 5e, the idea of learning a new system is daunting. I rehearse the teaching of the game session. It's the only thing for TTRPGs I ever rehearse, but I want to know down pat how I'm going to quickly teach a new system and make it feel approachable and non-threatening. I'm also very clear that this will be a single session, with the possibility of turning into a campaign if we like it. All of this is structured to feel very safe. No initial learning required, no long term commitment, with a GM you already know you like.

But even as safe as that is, you still have to pitch the system. Why should the player be excited about playing this new game? Don't go all TTRPG nerd on them and explain all the details of the system, or use a bunch of jargon. Give them one or two things to be excited about with short, detailed anecdotes to back them up.

"We're going to be playing Blades in the Dark. It's a game where you play a gang of criminals in a haunted, steampunk dystopia. Every session you'll do heists, but instead of meticulously planning them, you start right in the action, and when you need to have planned for something, you can do a flashback scene to explain your preparation. One group I ran this for got busted by guards during an early heist, but used a flashback to create a scene where they had gotten a buddy of theirs a job as one of the guards, and he helped them out of the situation. And for some reason they fell in love with this bumbling goof I improvised to be the buddy, and then on a bunch of future jobs they kept using flashbacks to get him jobs wherever they were robbing. So this one idiot was just a de-facto crew member who worked a dozen different inside jobs despite being about as sharp as an eraser. And eventually they fucked up and got him killed, but they brought him back as a ghost, because you can do that in Blades in the Dark."

I find using a specific example of play really helps get peoples' imaginations going, which is what is going to help them say yes. And that example is tailored to what I know that player vibes with, what it is I think that makes them a good fit for this game.

The last detail about the invites is that I'm telling them, not asking them. It is not, "Hey, are you interested in playing this new game?" It's "I'm going to be running this new game. If you're interested in playing, please let me know what times work for you." If you're asking, you're going to get some "well but can it be 5e?" If you're telling, then they can choose to learn a new game in order to keep playing TTRPGs with a GM they know they like, or they can choose not to play at all.

Once you get enough yesses for a game, you run it, and then from there you're on your own. I think those are basically just friends you have at that point, and I'm not gonna tell you how to have friends.

Hopefully at least one person finds all that useful!

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR FAKE DATING & GOING UNDERCOVER *  assorted dialogue for muses going undercover as a couple and having to maintain the illusion that they're dating, and all the chaos, feelings, and whatnot that come with it, suggested by dollhidden, adjust as necessary, send "reverse" for the reversal of action prompts

DIALOGUE PROMPTS

come on. at least pretend that you like me.

if we hold hands, that'll sell the illusion even more.

what petnames do you think we'd use if we were actually dating?

please don't make this too difficult on me.

stop letting go of my hand.

you're going to pay for this later.

that was way too close of a call.

[petname]? that's what we're going with?

could you at least look like you like me for an hour? is that so hard?

admit it. i'm not half bad.

didn't think i would enjoy this as much as i am.

did you take acting classes growing up?

excuse me! i'm just trying to sell the illusion!

do you think they bought it?

you don't look like you love me. you look like you're constipated.

way to lay it on thick. i think you might have done too good of a job.

pretend to laugh at one of my jokes.

i guess i didn't expect you to dress up for this. i'm impressed.

you know, if you treated me like that on the regular, i might actually start falling in love with you.

they have to believe we're together. how hard can it be?

quick, pretend like you're about to kiss me.

you clearly care more about the tiny appetizers than you do me.

i'm just here for the free champagne.

you clean up nice.

that honestly wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.

they're looking over here. quick, say something funny.

that... was surprisingly smooth of you.

you don't date much, do you?

we should pretend to date more often.

hey! my eyes are up here!

shit, they're coming. kiss me.

ACTION PROMPTS all of these are written as if both parties are fake dating and going undercover at some specified event, but feel free to add your own scenarios if you'd like!

[ hand ] sender quickly takes receiver's hand in public to avoid getting caught

[ waist ] sender quickly slides an arm around receiver's waist in public to avoid getting caught

[ propose ] sender stages a dramatic fake proposal to further sell their relationship to the crowd, catching receiver completely off guard

[ fake fight ] sender and receiver stage a coordinated fake fight/messy breakup in front of the crowd

[ kiss ] realizing they need to sell their relationship to an important person/people, sender and receiver kiss for the first time

[ coat ] noticing receiver is cold, sender gives them their coat

[ entrance ] sender and receiver approach the entrance of the secret event and discuss their plans for selling their fake relationship to the crowd

[ slip away ] sender slips away from receiver in order to take a break from pretending, and receiver goes to find them

[ off limits ] sender and receiver are exploring an off limit portion of the event space, get caught, and are forced to try to explain how they got lost

[ the big kiss ] to conceal the fact that they're exploring an off limit portion of the event space, sender kisses receiver dramatically once they're caught

[ introduce ] sender introduces receiver as their lover/date/partner to a very important (and potentially dangerous) person at this event

[ family ] sender introduces receiver as their lover/date/partner to their family, who just so happens to also be at the event

[ lost ] sender loses receiver in the crowd and rushes to relocate them before their cover is blown

[ flirt ] when someone else shows interest in receiver, sender steps in and makes it clear they're "taken"

[ exit ] sender and receiver have successfully accomplished their goal, and now must sneak out of the event as covertly as possible

[ spill ] sender accidentally spills their drink on receiver and rushes them to the restroom to clean them up

[ private ] in a brief moment of privacy between the two fake daters, sender admits to receiver that they don't think receiver is as bad as they thought

[firesmokeandashes]

Mha "could've been canon" quotes/scenarios

Fake Deku: *walks into the common room and over to Katsuki*

Fake Deku: "Hey Bakugou! Want to go spa-"

Half of class 1 a: *suddenly jumps the fake deku*

Fake Deku: "Wait! What are you guys doing! Get off me!"

Ochako: "Cut the bullshit, we know you're not Deku"

Fake Deku: *detransforms into some random villain*

Villain: "But how? I haven't done anything out of the ordinary!"

Todoroki: "Midoriya never calls Bakugou, Bakugou"

Tenya: "In fact we're not entirely sure he knows how to say Bakugo's real name"

Katsuki: Besides, danger sense would have alerted Izuku before everyone jumped you and gotten out of the way. So really you're just stupid"

Jirou: "Wait, sense this guy isn't Deku-"

Momo: "Where's the real one!?"

●●●●●●●

Meanwhile at the villain's hideout:

Izuku: "So you see, you can be whatever you want to be, you don't have to be a villain"

Villain 1: *sniffling* "That's so deep man"

Villain 2: *crying* "No one's ever told us that before! Thank you!"

Villain 3: *sobbing uncontrollably* "Thank you so much! Im gonna turn my whole life around now, I promise!"

Villain 4: *sitting in a corner contemplating their life choices and having a mental crisis*

Izuku: *slightly flustered* "There's really no need to thank me! You guys should have been told all this from the beginning!"

All four villains: *thinking* 'And he's humble too!'

●●●●●●●

Back at UA:

Aizawa: "So you mean to tell me he's been missing for FIVE HOURS!?"

Katsuki: *frustrated sigh* Yeah"

Aizawa: *insert groan of dissapointed and frustration*

Aizawa's phone: *rings*

Aizawa: "What!?"

Villain 1: "Um, is this Erasurehead?"

Aizawa: "Yes, what do want? I'm in the middle of important business!"

Villain 1: "Well, you see, we have one of your students, Midoriya, and we want to know where we should drop him off at?"

Aizawa: "...."

Aizawa: "What do mean 'drop him off at'"?

Villain 1: Well, he kind of gave us a talk about how we don't need to be villains and now we all feel bad about the stuff we did and want to give him back to you"

Aizawa: *sighs tiredly while dragging his hand down his face*

Aizawa: "Meet me at the abandoned choclate factory over on 15th street"

Villain 1: "Okay! Yeah, we can do that and I just want to say how sorry we are for kidnapping him! We're fully expecting to be arrested when we get there, so don't worry about us putting up a fight"

Aizawa: *sighs tiredly and hangs up*

Katsuki who listened to the whole conversation on speaker phone: "So he did it again?"

Aizawa: "Yup."

Katsuki: "And now you have to call the police and do more paperwork than you want to?"

Aizawa: "Yup."

Katsuki: "Want me to go with you to pick him up or..."

Aizawa: "Yes, lord knows he's gonna need someone to talk to on the way back and I cannot deal with him right now."

Katsuki: "So... what do we do with this guy?"

Katsuki: *jabs finger towards the shapeshifing villain who is tied and gagged with sero's tape snd spewing muffled curses at them*

Aizawa:"Hand him over to campus security and let them take care of him"

Katsuki: *nods and drags the screaming villain out the door with him*

Aizawa: "Im getting too old for this"

●●●●●

Later at the abandoned Chocolate Factory:

Aizawa, Katsuki, and a handful of cops walk into the Factory:

Izuku: *jumping up and down while waving his hand*

Cops: *rush over to arrest the villains*

Izuku: "Sensei! Kacchan!! Over here!"

Katsuki: "We know, idiot! We aren't blind!"

Villain 1 being arrested: *whispering* That's 'Kacchan'? I thought he'd be nicer"

Villains 2-4 also being arrested: *nod in agreement*

Izuku: *bounds over to Aizawa and Katsuki*

Izuku: "Sensei! Kacchan! You're not going to believe the day I've had!"

Izuku: *begins rambling*

Aizawa looks tiredly at Katsuki: "You take care of him, I have a big enough headache as it is"

Katsuki: *nods and turns back to listen to Izuku's rant and scold him for being reckless and getting in trouble again*

■■■■■■■

[creativewritersposts]

delirious state - Luke Hughes

summary; Luke Hughes x reader

Luke gets injured and the painkillers kick him into a delirious state, which is quite funny.

warning(s); mention of injury, it's more fluff and funny, real head injuries are no fun! , maybe grammar errors

author's note; old but good! 4/4 fics done! Good night everyone ✨

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Luke Hughes left the game and is on the way to get medical help".

This is how the disaster began. You stand in the emergency department waiting for Luke, completely worried and walking circles. "Mrs. Hughes? Mr. Hughes asked for you", an older nurse speaks with papers under her arm. You didnt know you're his wife but you're completely fine with that. Together with his nurse you arrive on a station where you can smell the typical disinfection scent.

"I'll leave you alone with your husband. Our doctor had to sew a wound on his head, two broken rips and a swollen nose. Because of the medical drugs and painkillers he can speak confused. He needs to rest. Are there any questions?", the nurse looks up from her pinning map with all informations, you don't care right now. You want to know if he's okay. "No i just want to see my husband, thank you". The nurse nods and walks back where they came from.

Quietly you open the door, afraid to wake Luke. Your poor Lukey. But damn you're wrong. Your poor Lukey smiles high and looks at you absolutely awake. He has a black eye, a neck support and plaster on his head where the doctors had to shave his head. He looks not good, hockey is a dangerous sport.

"Hey babbbyyy! Nice to see you", he waves with his hand and his voice sounds higher than usual.

"Hey, are you okay? My poor Lukey. Your family will be here in one hour. Traffic", you pet his curly hair and sit on his bed. "Oh yeah. Do you want to go to the cinema with me?", Luke smiles again not knowing what he tells. "You're not in the condition so I don't think", you giggle. It feels like you talk to a child. "You are soooo pretty", Luke does a gesture to show how much and curls your hair with his finger.

"You are pretty, too. Even with your destroyed face", you smirk. Luke is never that cheesy but as long he won't get angry you tolerate it.

"I really wanna have sex with you", he says without warning. It's atypical for him, he's very shy.

"Baby I dont think that works out right now",

"but whyyy?", Luke gets tearful.

"You have an head injury!".

"You think I'm a sucker in bed!", he replies in a stubborn tone.

"No don't get me wrong!", you never imagined you both have this conversation in the hospital one day.

"Yes you do. I'm lucky I married you before you could leave me because of that", his monitor signals louder because his heartbeat gets faster.

"You really need to rest and chill baby", you hope the topic is closed now.

"Just if you tell me you want to have Sex with me too!", you roll your eyes. "I won't say this!", you place your hands on your hip. A nurse comes in and controls his vital values until he speaks out, "Marriage is hard", he huffs. The nurse laughs off.

"We're not married. Before we reach this step you have to ask me!", your poor nerves. Honestly you need a drink to get through this. And chocolate cake.

Luke wants to stand up out of his bed, "babyyy lets go! I'm ready to get some actionnn with youu", he tipsy says. Luke's cheeks are rosy and and he looks like he gets fever. You lovely push him back to bed. "Lukey I love having sex with you but god damn lay down or I'll cain you on this bed!".

"Uhh I love when you take control", he smirks.

"Man you knocked out on ice and all you can think is about this?! and y'all say I'm the cheeky one!", you turn around behind you, hearing a familiar voice. It was his older brother.

Ellen, Jim and Jack watched this amused scenario. "Mooom", Luke groans. Ellen goes straight to his bed, hugs him and strokes his curly hair. "Can I help you with something? It looked really bad!", his mother says. "Why have you to interrupt me and my wife? Its getting hot in there", Luke is outraged.

"Lukey its fever and no sexual attraction, I'm sorry guys, he's dazed from the drugs", you try the best to get out of his embarrassing moment. "Mooom?", he calls her name again in a wailing way. "Yes?", she holds his other hand and focused. "Can I borrow your ring? I need to do a proposal". Ellen don't know what to say. Jim stays quite in the cornor as opposed to Jack. He grins the whole time and records some videos. "I have to send this to Quinn! Made my day!".

"Don't be so mean", Jim replies. "Daaaadddd?", comes from the big boy in bed. Jim steps next to Ellen, looking down to his son. "Why I'm the third one and not the first child? Didn't you make any effort to get me?", he whines. "Can't believe my smartest son asks such a stupid question", Jim shakes his head and hugs Luke, too. They don't care about this delirious state, the ony thing that matters is, he's okay. (Of course Jack will show their whole family these videos later).

[sanspuppet]

𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 (hyung line)

W/T: explicit content (18+)

- short scenario for each member

- not proofread so sorry any mistakes

A/O: here's some hard thoughts of my fav men, maknae line will be uploaded soon! sorry if the hwa one isn't as long as the others, dragged away a little too much by the yeosang one 🤭

read here the maknae line

✩ 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠

He's never tried to make you uncomfortable by mentioning sexual stuff, he wanted you to do the first move so he'd be sure you want it. Can't deny that it was pretty difficult to hold your horses when your boyfriend is a fucking hot guy, his smirk always has a specific effect on you, you also touched yourself a couple times thinking of him, when he was at work. You were quite shy to propose it, but this morning, seeing his boner standing under the blanket got you over the edge, you surely want him and you gotta take what you crave for. You sit on his lap with him still asleep, how can he be so damn gorgeous without even trying? he's fucking sleeping and he still seems a work of art. You start to dry hump yourself against his crotch, your lower lip between your teeth trying to hold back your whimpers. He slightly opens his eyes at the sudden friction, he stretched his arms yawning lazily: "Y/n..." once he realizes what you were actually doing his eyes open wide, his heartbeat accelerating at the sight of you grinding over his hips. "Joong... wanna take you right now, pretty please" you lean over him to leave a small kiss on his lips, your hands caressing his neck. You smile when he giggles, his hands dragging down your body, while kissing you back. "Happy to have you getting rid of my erection, love"

✩ 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚

Your relationship with Seonghwa was intimate, private times with him never missed, and he also had seen you barely naked a few times, but still you had nothing more than cuddles sessions. You arrive at home at late night, after a date with your boyfriend. You're about to head towards the bathroom to took your makeup off and brush your teeth, when he comes from behind holding your hips still. He approaches your ear, his sweet low voice whispering: "We're not done yet, sweetie" you turn yourself and face him with a smirk: "Oh, what did we miss?" he gets closer to you, noses a couple of inches far. "gotta ruin your lipstick first" you take his hand and drag it down your body, going slower when on your chest and stopping when they are between you thighs, his hand is shaking, you can feel his heartbeat accelerating while squeezing his wrist: "What about ruining something else?" he murmurs a small "fuck" before kissing you on your collarbone, biting your skin slightly. "Can’t wait to be inside you, baby"

✩ 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨

He could seem a tall cute baby boy, but in reality he perfectly knows he's a fucking horny man. who goes crazy everytime you wear short skirts and accidentally reveal him the under cheeks of your ass, he immediately develops the need of pin you at the wall and finally feel how good your pussy can take him, despite you looked too innocent to be able to do it. (You looked). You walk towards the living room, wearing only your underwear and one of his sweaters. you lay on the couch on your stomach and start watching tv, after some minutes, you hear your boyfriend walking in and suddenly stop. You shake your head, chuckling: "Stop staring at my ass, man" You hear him gasping from behind, he clears his throat coughing: "uhm... i wasn't..." you turn yourself, laying on your back, staring at him while a smirk took its was into your face: "why don't you just take your girlfriend and mark her?" he doesn't say anything, his body's blocked. "i noticed how you keep staring at me with those pretty eyes" you keep saying. he quickly reaches you, his body on top of yours, his hands wrapping around your waist: "i want you so fucking bad baby" you shake your index finger to him: "you should ask for it first" you tease him. "please let me fuck your pretty ass"

✩ 𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠

Yeosang has never showed you that side of him, which it quite surprised you, being a grown man just like others. You even thought that he wasn't physically attracted by you, what a silly, he is just a shy guy and he isn't certainly as innocent as you thought. You're walking through the hallway of your apartment, but suddenly stop when you hear weird noises coming through the bathroom. You bring your ear closer to the door, what you can hear now is something that seem apparently a squelching sound. Your breath stops as you figure out what is happening in there, you're about to ask at Yeosang if he's okay, but you can clearly hear is voice now booming inside the room: "Fuck- o-oh God, mmpphh fuck! wanna feel that tight pussy..." you wide your eyes, your mouth hangs open from hearing how hot his moans sound. "Ah... y/n.. f-fuck oh fuck! So close! Working this dick so well... shit!" you can tell that he's speeding up his pace by hearing clearly every single nasty sound he makes while stroking his cock. You can't contain yourself anymore: you shut the door open, finding your boyfriend sitting on the toilet while jerking off. He gasps, his heavy breath making his chest widen intensely, he looks at you with a mist of shame, fear and neediness to finish what he started. "What the fuck Yeo? I'm right here, why didn't you fuck me instead??" without even waiting for him to say anything you undress yourself and sit on his lap, taking his length at once inside you. He moans loudly your name, barely looking at you because already too fucked out. "Gonna let you know how good my pussy feel"

------------------

[reiderwriter]

😝 brain rot from my character ai scenario… the team goes out to a bar to celebrate and you wear a tiny little dress (just to rile him up obvi) but you also end up attracting a lot of male attentionand he gets SO jealous and protective of you he’s like sitting off to the side just watching you flirt with everyone and the team is like “he looks like hes gonna explode wtf” and then the SMUT HES ALL “they can’t have you, you’re all mine” “you really like all the attention huh? i’ll give you what you wanted” OMG it’s making me crazy i hope i described it good enough 🥰🥰

A/N: Is it really a reiderwriter smut if I don't have to clarify that 'I got carried away' at some point in the authors note? No, it is not. Thank you for the request. My brain is now equally rotted, oops.

Warnings: complaints, dirty talk, semi public sexual activity, partial voyeurism, fingering, hard/rough sex.

You weren't even dating.

Which made the situation even more frustrating for Spencer, and even more exciting for you. 

You'd always flirted with the man a lot, had been told multiple times to knock it off even after getting a little too close for comfort on a case. 

But you couldn't really blame yourself on that one. You'd had to do a quick takedown at a dive bar, and you'd been tasked with pretending to be a touchy couple at the bar to block the back entrance at the staff entrance. 

You'd draped yourself all over him, allowing yourself to get closer than you'd ever been before. 

If you'd just happened to let your hands fall down to his crotch, it was pure coincidence. So was giving his obviously erect length a few strokes through his jeans as he sat staring at you like you were his last meal and he was back in prison. 

Emily had to pull you aside after that one personally. 

You knew she was protective of Spencer, seeing him as a little brother, but it seemed like she was more protective of you at that moment. 

“Are you sure you know what you're doing?” She'd asked, waiting carefully for your answer before she said anything more. 

Two could play at that game. “What is this concerning?” 

“With Spencer.” 

“I'm not sure what you mean, Emily.”

“Yes, you do. Listen, I don't care what you get up to in your personal life, but Spencer has a way of making others feel very… seen. He can get protective and pushy. And I just want to know you're ready for that, and you're not going to let it affect your work.”

“Is Spencer having the same talk?” 

She laughed at that. 

“Spencer? No. I already know it's going to affect his work, because it has since you joined our team. He still gets his job done, but I know where his priorities would lie if there were an emergency.” 

You'd shivered at that and excused yourself. 

If he was that obsessed with you, why had he not told you? Stepped over that line from friends to more than that?

You needed to force the issue, and you had the perfect opportunity when Penelope invited you out for drinks. 

“Y/N! Don't go, it's Friday night, we-” she said gesturing wildly to the team gathered around you, “are going to a bar. No, you can't rain check either.” 

“Can I at least get changed first?” 

“You need to get changed. We're going to a nice bar, Y/N.” Running off again to grab the rest of your team members and force their attendance, you grinned after Penelope. 

It was time to see exactly how focused on you Spencer Reid was.

And how willing he was to let you slip through his fingers.

An hour later, you were stepping out of your taxi, pulling your skirt down as you did. The short black dress had a terrible habit of pulling up your thighs to flash your underwear at anyone in a 10 foot radius. Usually, that bothered you, but tonight, you planned on using it to your advantage. 

After all, you'd left out the underwear tonight for a reason. 

Pulling your jacket around you tighter, you pushed the door to the bar open and scanned the room for your team members. 

“Y/N, over here!” Tara called you over, nursing a beer. Luke sat next to her, Penelope on his other side, and Matt on hers and completing the group was Spencer Reid. 

“Where are JJ and Emily?” You asked, doing your very best to ignore Spencer as you sat down next to him, practically falling into his warmth. You sat so close to him. 

“At the bar. Emily is convinced she can flirt her way to a free drink, and JJ is convinced she cannot. The girl she's working on now has to be 22 at most, so it could honestly go either way.” Penelope answered, and you felt Spencer shift slightly beside you. 

“Speak of the devil,” Luke said as the two women approached. 

“Well? What's the result?” You grinned up at them, letting your head fall back against Spencer’s shoulder as you gently rested your hand on his thigh. He sat silently for a minute, not moving and just taking in the conversation. 

“I've still got it.” Emily grinned triumphantly. 

“Maybe I should give it a try. There are a few hot male bartenders tonight. Who knows, I might score more than just a drink.” 

Spencer choked on the drink he was sipping as you spoke quickly, a few knowing looks passing between every other person at the table. You'd have to be blind to miss it. Or Spencer. 

“Spencer, are you okay? You should be careful, I wouldn't want you to choke. That's how I want to end my night, but it's not for everyone.” That one earned you a few snickers from the others and a glare from the man himself. 

“I'm fine, thank you, Y/N.” He smiled down at you and gave your knee a friendly tap that turned slightly less friendly as he pushed it further up your leg. 

The others had since averted their attentions, moving their conversation onto other things, but you and Spencer were still stuck in each other's orbits. 

Your heart beat faster until you were sure it could be seen, raw and fit to burst out of your chest. His fingertips brushed your hem. He was seconds away from realising that you were going to get the attention you wanted that night. 

Slipping just an inch up the hem, he twitched almost imperceptibly as he searched for your panty line, brows knitting when he couldn't find it. 

“What's wrong, Spencer? Searching for something that isn't there?” You enjoyed watching his frown deepen as he registered your words, but you enjoyed it even more when you gently pushed his hand away as you stood. 

“Well, I need a drink. Let's hope I can recreate your success, Emily.” You said, finally pushing off your jacket. The dress may have been short, but it was also low cut, burning the candle at both ends as your breasts threatened to spill over with any particularly deep breath. 

“Sweet lord in heaven! You didn't come to play tonight.” Penelope exclaimed, practically applauding your body as you twirled for her and showed off the form fitting dress, giggling all the way. 

“You said it was a nice bar, Penelope. I'm hoping there are also some very nice men here, too.” With a wink, you turned on your heel and strode to the bar, making sure your hips swung seductively with every step. 

You couldn't immediately give in and turn to see if he was watching you when you got to the bar, though, not willing to give him the satisfaction. You were doing it all for him, but you still didn't want him to know that.

It didn't take long for men to swarm you. They came one at a time, and you entertained them each as you waited for your unnecessarily complex cocktail order to be prepared. 

In the 7 minutes you'd been away from the table, you'd been approached by three separate men. They all tried lines on you, gave you their numbers and tried their best to woo you, but with Spencer’s eyes burning across your body as you leaned against the bar, you really couldn't have cared less. 

Still, you leaned in, giggled in the appropriate places, and took the numbers, knowing they'd never be called.

When your cocktail was finally ready, and the last one offered to fund it for you  You finally felt a hand at your back. 

“That won't be necessary, thank you.” Spencer ended the conversation, handing his own card over to the bartender as he kept his hand on your back, his body crowding yours. 

The man walked away in defeat, and you turned on him, sipping your drink as you refused to move away.

“Now why ruin all my fun, Spencer?” 

“You're really enjoying all this attention, huh?” He said, pushing your hair behind your ear as he leaned closer to you, his next word a whisper against your skin.

“I can see your pussy from all the way back there,” he said, tugging down your skirt slightly. You weren't surprised though  simply taking another sip and maintaining eye contact. 

“I know.” His hand, having slipped up to your waist, tightened as his gaze dropped to your lips. 

“You want everyone to see your dripping cunt? Want to let all the men here take a turn trying to catch your attention so they can slip in?” His voice was low, practically a growl as he licked his lips.

“No. I wanted to see how long it'd take you to come over and do it. By my count, that was eight minutes, correct?” 

“Good girl. Just remember that you're mine. I'm not letting anyone else have you.” Giving your face a gentle stroke, he let it trail down your body, subtly cupping and squeezing your chest on the way down. 

“All of a sudden, I feel very tired, Spencer. Take me home.” He wasted no time, grabbing your hand and gathering you up, your jacket and bag collected from the desk as he gave minimal answers to the others as you departed. To their credit, they asked minimal questions. 

The cold air hit you hard as you pushed the doors open again, but Spencer was unperturbed, pulling you over to his car silently, a strong hand on your shoulder helping you into the passenger's seat.

You dare not talk the entire drive to his apartment, so sure that any word from you would have him turning immediately to deposit you right back at the bar. 

He didn't, though, but he also didn't look at you or touch you. You sat squirming at the heavy atmosphere, suddenly desperate to know exactly what thoughts were trapped inside Spencer’s impressive brain. 

“We're here.” He announced, pulling up quickly and cutting the engine, climbing out in a hurry. 

You fumbled with your own seat belt as he pulled your door open, catching you up in his arms as he closed the door behind you. You wrapped your legs around his waist as your arms wrapped around his neck, letting him carry you up the stairs to his apartment.

His lips didn't meet yours until the door was firmly closed and locked behind you, and even then, he didn't immediately dive in. He out you down, and a touch of disappointment flooded your body as he completely entangled himself from you. 

It dissipated completely when his hand wrapped around your throat. 

“Let me be clear, Y/N. You are mine. If you want attention, I will give it to you. If you want to choke on something, I'm more than happy to provide it. If you want to dress like a little whore, go ahead, but don't forget who your sweet little cunt belongs to.” His fingers tightened with each word as you gasped for air, back resting on the nearest wall as his body pressed up along your own. 

“Do you understand?” He asked, and you nodded repeatedly, fast and desperate. 

“Good. Now, ass up on the bed. I'll meet you there.” You practically sprinted to the room in question, slinking up onto the bed. He said ass up, but you hesitated slightly as he quietly shut the bedroom door behind you, just long enough to earn a slap on your ass as he finally returned to your side. 

“You have to listen, Y/N. You wanted this, so you have to listen nicely.” 

“I'm sorry, Spencer, it won't happen aga-” He stole the end of your sentence as he slipped his fingers into you, gently working the two longest ones up into a frenzy as he finger fucked you. 

“Sorry, what was that? I don't think I quite caught your words.” You could only moan in reply as you buried your head in his pillows, ass pressing back into his fingers to help him get deeper.

“So needy. Look at this little black dress. You knew this was going to happen, right?” A third finger slipped inside you, and you screamed out in pleasure as he continued using you.

“Burying your head isn't going to work, Y/N. Your cunt is answering for you.” 

You heard the rattle of his belt unbuckling as his fingers finally slipped out, the emptiness only a relief for a second before his cock was hitting deep inside of you. 

Thoughts escaped you as you finally got what you'd been begging for for weeks. His every frustration was pounded into you as he tugged at your hair, pulling your torso up so he could hit even deeper. 

Pulling back your head with a hand on your throat he laid a barrage of kisses across your upper back and shoulders, making sure to bite and suck and nip as his spare hand toyed with your nipples, pinching and pulling. 

In a second, you reached your climax, not having the breath left in you to let him know before you tightened on his shaft and let your body fall limp under his hands. 

“I'm going to mop up our cum with this dress, Y/N, and then I'm going to make you put it back on.” With a final grunt, he pulled out, jerking his cock through his release as he shot his load right over your pussy lips. 

He collapsed on top of you, and you finally gave up your last bit of strength beneath him, enjoying the pressure of his weight pushing down on you again. 

“Thank god that worked,” you gasped, catching your breath. You smiled as he flipped you over and pulled the dress off your head, true to his word. 

“What worked, Y/N?” 

“This. You don't know the lengths I'd have gone to to get you yo finally fuck me if this hadn't worked.” 

“But suddenly, I'm curious, and I have all the time in the world.” You laughed lightly but snuggled into his chest again, meaning to sleep. 

“Unless you want to get dressed again now…?” 

[thisismeracing]

wholesome thot time:

decorating Christmas cookies with Lando and singing horribly along to Christmas songs and then having a lil smooch and you can taste the icing off his lips are YOU LYING 😫😭

He would be cracking jokes the whole time, finding excuses to kiss you and eat the dough before it was even finished.

"Lannn, c'mon, let's get this done with so we can get to the icing part," you whine, trying to add the eggs while he keeps kissing your neck and hugging you from behind.

"'m sorry," he mumbles against your skin. "You just look so cute with this Christmas PJs."

You smile, rolling your eyes playfully, and pecking his lips.

You wait for the cookies to bake with a nap in the living room enjoying the warmth from the fire and from your boyfriend's body under you. When the phone rings and you start icing, Lando is using the icing to write random stuff on the plate like "ily" "u cute" "wanna bang?" and you're trying your best to hold back your laughter because what is wrong with this dude.

Ariana starts playing through the speakers from the Christmas playlist that was going on for a while, and Lando is suddenly singing along to "Santa tell me" terribly off-key while adding orange icing to his car cookie.

You chuckle, and he turns his attention to you, "what?"

"I'm glad you're a driver, it would be hard to make a career as a singer."

And with that he's singing even harder and louder, taking giggle after giggle from you. He bends just enough to get closer to you who's sitting by his side minding your business - watching him while doing your own icing because he was this entertaining-, and kiss your shoulder through the layer of clothes. You face him and smile before bringing your lips together in a kiss. He tastes sweet like the icing with a hint of chocolate, and you can't help but hum.

"Were you eating the icing, Lan? I told you not to, we're gonna run out of it before finishing with all the batches."

He just grins, kissing you one more time, lips finding your cheeks, jaw, nose, and forehead. "Sorry, lovie, it was just so sweet. It's good isn't it?"

"I don't know, let me try again," you grin, holding him by the chin and kissing him again, Lando gladly accepting.

IDK WHAT THIS IS ITS NOT A BLURB BUT IT'S NOT A THOT EITHER, BUT ANYWAYS, I HOPE ITS GOOD, IM SWOONING OVER THIS SCENARIO NOW UGH <3

▸ my masterlist | my taglist | my patreon and my ko-fi

[tangerinesgirl]

Pull Some Strings

** SPOILERS FOR ABIGAIL (2024) **

Fem!Reader x Frank/Adam Barrett (Abigail)

Word count: 1.1k

Rating: 18+, explicit

Warnings: smut, denied orgasm, GodComplex!Frank, JOI, degradion, Frank swearing a lot (as usual), pet names, vaguely non con if you squint bc mind control

Summary: You've been flirting with Frank the entire evening. He tests his new vampire powers and turns you into his puppet. Things get freaky.

Notes: this seems too good to not have been done before, I did have a search beforehand so I'm sorry if it does exist! We need more Frank smut ASAP! Also, reader has nipple piercings in this and there's use of Y/N.

You jump awake with a burning hot pain in your neck. You reach to touch the wound but you find nothing there. Memories start to play in your mind, how Frank willingly accepted the offer to be turned into a monster, while you sat on the floor helpless. You were heartbroken that he could turn into a traitor like that, after the two of you fighting so hard together, but the other part of you couldn't keep your eyes off him, seeing him covered in blood, moaning as Lambert gave him his new life. You watch in horror as he stakes Lambert through the heart, you try to grab the shelf behind you to get up, but Frank stamps on your arm, breaking it instantly. You scream as he pulls your hair, exposing your neck to him.

Frank whispers in your ear, "I'm going to make you my puppet, and we're going to have a little fun". You whimper as he pecks a little kiss on the side of your mouth, and dives his teeth into your neck. You can feel yourself getting colder, your body twitching as you loose consciousness.

*

"Y/N....you are mine"

The sound of Frank's voice lures you back awake. You're in a bedroom somewhere, but you can tell you're still in this god forsaken house. "Oh good you're awake". You look around the room instinctively trying to find the source of the voice.

"What's going on?"

"Keep up sweetheart, did you not pay attention to what happened to Sammy? Or were you too busy trying to get me to fuck your brains out?"

Your mind jumps back to how you flirted playfully with Frank the whole evening. The car ride where you were zipping your hoodie down to make your breasts pop out. When you brushed past him to open the door. The way you would look at his lips, and chew the bottom of yours every time he gave the crew orders. You found him very attractive, and the dominance was a huge turn on for you.

You sit next to him at the bar in the house, "You know, I'm very much into the hot boss scenario". Your hand brushes against his as you reach for your drink. In a split second, Frank pins your hand to the counter and grabs your neck with the other one, "You're really going to flirt with me when we have bigger fucking problems right now?"

Everyone in the group stares at you as you go bright red from embarrassment. You decide to roll with it, liking how agitated Frank is getting at your advances. Afterall you've nothing to loose, no one will know your true name after this. You moan loudly with a "oh yes, harder daddy". Frank lets you go in disgust. He spits out a "fucking whore" under his breath. You hear him and giggle, "only for you" and blow him a kiss as he walks away.

*

Your mind snaps back to reality. "I know how you like being told what to do, and I'm curious to see if this actually fucking worked first time... So...Frank says, take off your hoodie". You immediately unzip your hoodie without a moment's thought, "What the fuck?"

"Frank says undo your bra". You do as he says, part of you is very much into him finally reciprocating what you've been putting down the whole evening, even in these circumstances.

"Frank says play with your nipples". You moan as you grab your breasts and tug gently on your nipples.

"Wait I can feel something cold...do you have piercings? That's fucking hot... Frank says undo your belt". The belt clinks to the floor, you can somehow tell that Frank is doing the same, wherever he is.

"Frank says undo your buttons". You unzip your jeans, and dip your hand in further, you can feel the wetness growing in your underwear as you try and find some kind of friction.

"Frank says stop. Frank didn't say to do that now, did he?"

You shake your head.

"Use your words"

"No"

"No what?"

"No sir"

"Good girl. Now. Frank says to circle your fucking clit. Slowly"

You moan softly, it's painful for you not to do anything else right now.

"Frank says stop"

The slow orders are making you impatient, you need more of a release, "please".

"Please what?"

"I need more"

"Then you fucking wait"

You can feel Frank playing with his cock, it pains you that you can't see, but you can feel him growing hard, the pre cum on his hands. You can even hear his subtle moans as he palms himself.

"Frank says dip your index finger into your pussy".

You sigh in relief as your hand finally enters you.

"Frank says insert another finger"

You fuck yourself open, Frank can hear the sound of your wetness and swears under his breath.

"You sound fucking soaked, the sound of my voice gets you this wet huh? Now...play with your clit".

You start to do so and Frank laughs, "Frank didn't say "Frank says" now did he?"

You cry out in agitation, "Frank please".

"Nah ah, what do you call me?"

"Sorry, sir"

"That's better baby. Frank says touch your clit"

You can feel yourself getting closer, Frank can too. "I'm going to cum Fr-sir, please can I cum?".

"Frank says stop"

"No!" You whimper as you pull your hands out of you. Denying you of your orgasm makes Frank's come quicker, the power over you as well as being a newly turned vampire makes him feel like a God. He takes off his shirt as he starts to cum on his chest. You can feel the hot liquid on your chest too. Your hands feel around but there's nothing there. You're really pissed off, but still very much aroused. Frank moans as he continues to empty himself on his chest, it seems to last forever. As he finally comes to a stop, he lets out one last big moan. "Do you want to taste?"

Part of you wants to give him the silent treatment for the way he just used you, but you say "yes sir" like the good puppet you are.

Frank takes a finger of his cum off his chest and wipes it on his lips. He licks it up with his tongue. You can feel the taste slowly seeping into your mouth, you bite your lip and swirl your tongue around, lapping up every invisible drop. It's salty, with a hint of iron, but oddly creamy at the same time.

"I think that was a pretty successful test, wouldn't you say, Y/N?"

You finally find your backbone after Frank and his stupid voice turned it into mush, "Fuck you".

"Oh I will, right after I kill me a vampire"

[cosmicstarlatte]

Can I share this silly scenario that's been rotating in my mind?

So, MC has a sort of signal when they're up for free use in the HoL, they wear a black choker around their neck, and usually wear their hair up so the brothers can see it. So the brothers have kinda been Pavlovian conditioned into getting excited whenever MC has that combination of choker and hair up.

Somehow, Diavolo learns about this. He trolls the brothers by giving MC a fancy choker to wear at the next fancy event at the demon lord's castle. The brothers spend the entire event completely frustrated, and only get more frustrated when Diavolo insists MC spends the night at the castle.

nsfw mdni // mc gets called 'little one' once

AAAAA AAJSGKGKFKDJGH

I LOVE MEAN DIAVOLO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

You know damn well Diavolo would do some shit like that, I particularly feel he does it most to see Lucifer get riled up; the rest of the brothers are just a bonus to the shenanigans.

Dia would probably point out the beautiful jewelry in front of other guests, even go as far to touch the beautiful choker around your neck, noticing how each of the brothers just grit their teeth. /screaming

The brothers do spend the entire night frustrated, not only have they been conditioned, they now feel like everyone else might jump at you at any second!

That being said, I feel like Mammon would be the one who whines the most, asking you to take it off. </3 😭

Omg at the end of the event you and the brothers are finally excited to go home but Dia stops you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"MC are you sure you don't want to spend the night?" His hand gives you a small squeeze before lightly massaging your shoulder. "You look like you could use some rest little one. Dont worry Lucifer, I'll take good care of them."

At this point Lucifer isn't even hiding his annoyed face he's just DONE lmaooo

"No, we shouldn't impose on you Lord Diavolo, c'mon MC—" Lucifer takes your hand but you reluctantly hold back.

"Well actually Lucifer I am pretty tired—"

LUCIFER EYES JUST BULGE OUT AHAHAHA (along with the rest of the brothers)

Mammon snaps out of it quick, sweeping you off your feet and going, "Nope. We're going home, cya!"

And Lucifer just smirks and shrugs at Dia, "Looks like we can take care of MC, thank you."

pls this ask was so funny tysm for sharing akskdfkkg

anyway if it were me I'm a hoe and I'd let a few of the brothers hit through out the night anyway, we'd escape for a few minutes when no one's watching 😌

[scarletwinterxx]

no one's ever had me, not like you - joshua hong imagine

hellooo😊 so uhhhh yea I'm still here HAHAHAh sorry i really can't get this man out of my head and this scenario is so so so so him. hope you enjoyyy🤍

for my other joshua fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"Dokyeom just sent a text, beach day this weekend?" Joshua asks as he reads the message on his phone, walking towards the sofa where you're currently sitting

"Are we staying the whole weekend or day trip?" you look up at him

"Day trip, Gyu and Cheol has a thing to do the next day. Dokyeom will text the group chat now" Joshua reads the last text before locking his phone and turning his attention to you

"Are we driving together?" he asks

"Yea sure"

"Really?"

"Yeah, you 'drove' me home last time and you've done it plenty times before" you shrug. Usually you'd catch a ride with your other friends to not raise any suspicion, your boyfriend would also drive you every now and then so it wouldn't look like the two of you are avoiding each other.

"You know I'm not keeping us a secret because I'm ashamed or embarrassed or anything like that right?" you tell him, Joshua shoots you a small smile then takes your hand in his

"I know, I would never think that baby"

"I just want our little bubble to last for as long as we can enjoy, the moment they find out about us we will never hear the end of it" you joke

"They're rooting for us" he gives you a tap on the nose, making you scrunch it. The small action melting Joshua's heart, he's already so smitten over you but there are still times he can't believe you're his.

"Guess we're going to the beach"

The weekend comes, a few of your friends and their partners gather for the mini one day vacation. Usually someone takes the initiative to think of an activity or a location then just inform the rest. It's always fun to hangout with everyone.

"How was your date with Shua" Soonyoung asks you, wiggling his brows at you. Dokyeom, who is sitting beside him while cutting the watermelon, looks over at you when he heard the question

"He finally asked you out?"

"What do you mean finally?" Soonyoung was just about to ask but you said it first, Dokyeom looked like he regret saying it but he already slipped and he knows there's no escaping Soonyoung

"He just mentioned a few times he wanted to ask you out, for like coffee or something. I thought at first he meant as a group but then he said no, as in like out on date" he tells the two of you, you fight the smile forming on your face as you hear the story. Wondering what else your boyfriend tell your friends about you.

"So did he?"

"Yeah we got coffee"

"OH MY GOD SO IT WAS A DATE"

You pull on Soonyoung's shirt, making him seat again "Be so loud about it will you"

"You two totally have heart eyes for each other, I'm calling it. You're gonna get married one day"

You don't say anything, just shaking your head at your overly enthusiastic friends. The conversation flows for a while, then Mingyu comes inviting the other guys to ride jetski's

You follow behind the trio, spotting Joshua by the dock already wearing a life vest and holding another one.

The other boys, some with their girlfriends, go on their own jetski's then rides away.

You're happy to watch on the sidelines, you're not really an outdoor person. Joshua is very aware you don't really like staying under the sun for too long but the weather is so nice, looking around he spots you not to far from where he was.

He walks towards you, you see him and shoot him a smile

"You going out there?" you ask, noting your boyfriend's appearance. It really is getting harder and harder to keep this a secret, especially with how he looks right now. He looks more radiant than the sun.

The glasses pushing his semi-wet hair, the blank tank he's wearing underneath the life jacket, and the cute smile you love so much.

He nods at your question then holds out the other life jacket towards you, "Come with me"

"You know I can't swim" you reply, but Shua just smiles at you. Inching closer and closer until he's only about two steps away from you.

You look around for your friends, "They're all busy, look there's Gyu and his girl. It's totally fine. I'm not gonna let you fall in the ocean, baby"

You look at him, he's trying to woo you with his looks. You know he knows just how to make you say yes. He tilts his head sideways cutely, and show you a loopsided smile.

You roll your eyes then take the life jacket from him, "If I fall there, I'm taking you with me"

"Trust me, I will be jumping right behind you"

You walk towards where the jet ski is waiting, Joshua jumps down first then holds his hand out for you to guide you. You settle behind him, holding on his waist tightly. You can feel him laugh, "You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"I enjoy the most when you're with me, my love. Now, hold on real tight"

Then you're off.

And he's right, it is fun. At the beginning you were still to scared to let go, holding on to Shua as tight as you can. Then after a while he can hear you laughing whenever he takes a turn. For a while you just go around and around on the open water.

When you finally go back to the dock, the rest of your friend group are also there. It's past lunch time and you haven't eaten yet. You can hear Dokyeom and Soonyoung talking about food already.

You and Joshua were the last ones to get off, he goes first then waits for you. But unlike when he helped you on, he didn't take your hand this time. Instead you were surprised when you feel his arm go around your waist to hold you and lift you up slightly until you're standing beside him.

You look up at him, blinking like a deer caught in the headlight. The headlight being your two male friends who were watching the whole scene, surprised like you are.

"Uh thanks" you breath out, showing him a tight lipped smile before walking ahead. Meanwhile Joshua doesn't fight the big smile, his eyes disappearing. He watches you catch up with Mingyu and his girlfriend while Soonyoung and Dokyeom looks back and forth between you and him

"Oh my god, look who finally grew the balls to finally make a move"

Joshua shakes his head, then starts to walk.

"I heard you finally asked her out on a date"

"She told you?" He asks back

"Yea, but really? a coffee date? not even a fancy dinner?" Soonyoung prods

"We'll get there, I just want her to be comfortable. And we had fun" Joshua smile unconsciously just thinking about it. Technically the two of you did go out for coffee, then you stayed over at his for movie night. They didn't need to know the rest of the details but you and him didn't really do much watching, you don't even remember what the title of the film was.

When the rest of the boys finally catch up, you all decided on a cute restaurant near the beach. Soonyoung of course shoots you a look when Joshua sits beside you.

The food was good, made even better with the company. All of you were just chatting about life, sharing stories from your past hangouts and everyday lives. Dokyeom and Mingyu were telling a particularly funny story, all of you on the table were laughing so hard you didn't even notice you leaned sideways until your head was resting on Joshua's shoulder.

He didn't notice it either because to him it's a normal thing. He even sat straight and threw his arm behind your chair so you would be more comfortable. You didn't think twice about tucking yourself on his side and smiling up at him, your boyfriend mirroring the action.

You only notice the table going quiet, making you look over and sure enough everyone was looking at the two of you.

"I uh I was just, I had something in my eye. I was asking him to look"

"Yea she had something... in.. her... eye"

Some looked confused while the others looked at you suspiciously. Especially Soonyoung. You just know he's about to bombard you with questions.

When it's time to say goodbye, you all go back to your respective rides. Joshua is talking to Mingyu, walking right ahead of you.

"So.. that little cute moment"

"I did it... unconciously. I was laughing"

"Mhm"

"I was!"

Soonyoung laughs, "It was cute, you two look good together and Joshua's a great guy"

"I know" you pout

"You didn't hear from me, but he likes you. If that's what you're worried about" he tells you, he really is a good friend. He's one of your bestfriend, next to Shua. You've known him for years now and he truly always means well, you trust Soonyoung to always know what is good.

"It wouldn't be awkward if I date our friend?"

"No, why would it be? It'll be cool. Bound to happen anyways, statistically speaking someone from our friend group is bound to end up together. Who knows, we'll plan to go to your wedding next"

You laugh at that, it wasn't impossible technically. It's somewhere in the future. You hope. You wish. You really do pray he's the one you end up with.

"You're smiling" Soonyoung teases you

"Okay okay, gosh. Do more of that and I won't invite you"

"Invite him to what?" the two of you didn't notice Joshua stopped walking with Mingyu to wait for you

"Nothing" you answer

"Your wedding" Soonyoung says at the same time, making you hit him on the side.

Joshua just laughs, but on the inside he's cheering. Just thinking about one day marrying you is enough to put a smile on his face for days. You really are the one for him.

He had to stop himself from pulling you in a hug, so he watches you with a fond smile on his face. The sun setting on the background casting a beautiful shadow on your face and he thinks he can just get down on one knee right here right now.

"Oh god, look at you. You know what, I'm leaving. You two solve this by yourselves" Soonyoung says when he sees Joshua just watching you.

You wave bye to your friend before turning to look back at the man standing beside you

"What?" you ask him,

He shakes his head and just continues on smiling at you.

You narrow your eyes at him, not satisfied with his answer but you let it go. He looked to cute to be mad at anyways.

"Let's go home, shall we. One more second without a kiss and I'll collapse" Joshua says, mentioning for you to walk ahead while he follows

"I can just imagine their reactions when they hear you" you tell him

"They'll get used to it"

"Mhm, they'll finally see you being a simp" you tease him

"Baby, for you I'd be anything. Call me baby, honey, love, boyfie even hubby I don't mind" he teases back

"You are... you know let's just go home"

[alexiethymia]

Ka Zuigetsu

(spoilers for the manga, LN, WN you name it)

Jinshi or rather Zuigetsu is such an interesting character for me because of the dichotomy. We're initially introduced to him as someone with a lot of pride in his looks, confident, mature beyond his years. Later on, we find that his true self is quite self-depreciating and childish.

He doesn't have an attachment to power, nor his looks. He's actually not the arrogant lord Maomao initially thinks he is because he's open to learning and taking the advice of those who know more than him. And while this feeds into his complex that he's surrounded by eccentrics who are extraordinarily good and excel at one thing (the entire Ra Clan, Maomao included, Basen etc.) he's no slouch himself!

I mean Jinshi doesn't think much of himself considering himself a jack of all trades, but what a wide variety of trades it is - he can beat Basen using skill instead of force, he beat the Emperor at Go at the tender age of fourteen and this is with the Emperor having been taught by the Sage who is one of the only two people known to have beat Rakan, he dances with such grace that foreign envoys can only think of him as a goddess, he's enough of a quick study with medicine according to Maomao, not to mention his prowess at both the military arts and diplomacy.

As if to make up for all that he perceives he lacks, he knows talent when he sees it and will use people accordingly. Ironically (and though they would both hate to hear it) Jinshi and Rakan are more than a lot alike. Despite his complex, these qualities actually make him quite a good leader and you could see why the Emperor really wants to make him the Crown Prince even if this isn't Jinshi's wish.

But unlike Rakan, he is still soft-hearted at his core (see the case with Fuyou for example). And though Maomao is rankled at how he attempts to be both pragmatic and kind, at his inability to wholly abandon his heart for the things he knows must be done, at her core, I think that trait of Jinshi's is the main reason why Maomao finds herself unexpectedly loyal to him.

Much has been said for Maomao's charisma, but Jinshi also attracts loyalty from unexpected places. Like Gyokuyou, he surrounds himself with capable people. While part of me is cheering him on to get his wish of being an ordinary person, I feel like everything has been building up to his eventual ascension to the throne. Because while Jinshi may complain and grumble about his work, ultimately he will still do it. At present, he could only implement his plan because he still thinks he's just the Imperial Brother. But the moment the truth gets revealed, he won't easily be able to shake off his burden.

A part of me thinks that he will eventually take the throne in some form or the other, but only until Gyokuyou's son comes of age and he can finally pass on the crown and become an ordinary person once and for all. This scenario would actually be the perfect pretext for him to justify having only Maomao for his sole consort since he can reason out that he doesn't want to further complicate the lines of succession by having more children with more consorts. In other words, a win-win possibly for both Jinshi and the current Emperor (except Maomao haha).

[seresinhangmanjake]

Because You Stayed

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x female reader

Summary: Your relationship with Jake is new. Very new. Like one-month-old new. Too new for you to be pregnant with his baby, and yet, that's exactly the situation you're facing.

*This fic can be read alone, but it is also a "What if?" scenario for Oh, Baby.*

Warnings/notes: pregnancy, fluff. idk, that's probably it.

Words: 1459

---

It hadn't been long. That was the terrifying bit.

Yes, you'd known him for what felt like ages, but that time spent knowing him was missing the one way you'd always wished to know him most. For a year, you'd dreamed of being with him, pining in silence, until everything changed and you got your wish. 

It had only been a month since you took the risk and kissed him, and you and Jake had certainly used the time wisely. After that one month, you finally, deeply, truly knew him—all of him, in and out, up and down. You knew what made him feel good. You knew how to make him whimper. You knew that every time he came in you, he buried his face in your neck, kissing your sensitive skin with a groan in his throat.

And then suddenly, you knew you were pregnant.

In just thirty days, Jake Seresin managed to knock you up. 

Well, actually, that wasn't so accurate. According to your doctor, it only took your pilot one shot—his first shot with you—to get it done. You'd been pregnant for weeks and hadn't known until you realized you were too often exhausted and had an unusual lack of cramping for the time of the month.

You went through the stages, of course. The denial and acceptance and all those in between as your doctor stared at you, trying to understand the thoughts running through your head. It was wildly overwhelming, certainly. But despite it all, there was one other thing you knew by the time you pulled out of the office's parking lot: 

You wanted your baby. Which meant your entire world was going to flip on its side from that moment on. And after days of thinking, of going back and forth, you decided you were going to do the very same to Jake's. 

—

His mouth was on yours before you could breathe in the piney scent of his cologne. A desperate, greedy taking from your lips as he pushed you up against the closest wall of his home. He enveloped you like a man too long deprived. And you would've let him take you; you and everything he needed to feel good again if only your need to tell him your news wasn't so prevalent in your mind. 

"Jake, wait." The words slipped through the sliver of space that broke your kiss. 

He paused but didn't step away. His closeness kept his mouth brushing against yours, breaths mingling.

"What for?" He whispered.

"Because," you began, eyes slowly grazing up the length of his face until they met the heated stare of his green irises. You swallowed. "We have to talk."

In an instant, he ripped himself from your arms, forcing too many steps between you. Every bit of his body altered to match his frown. Eyebrows dipped in the center. Shoulders slumped forward the slightest. Your muscled man somehow shrunk in size and stature within mere moments.

"I did something, didn't I? I couldn't think of what it was, but I knew there had to be a reason," he said. The pain radiating from his form seeped deep into your pores. "You've been avoiding me for three days."

With a sigh, you said, "I know."

There was a sudden shift, and you could see it in him that he expected you to deny it. That maybe you had a decent excuse for your behavior. Too busy. Too stressed. Too tired to spend time with him. It was clear anything would have sufficed to ease his budding anxiety. Anything but the truth you had for him to hear.

"You're here to tell me we're over," he decided. 

The shock of his words kept you silent. It was the last thing you ever imagined he would believe. After all, you had been the one to take the leap that closed the gap between friendship and something more. He slept in your bed as often as you did in his. Your hearts were equally bare before one another, a development only made from your unwillingness to be without him a second longer. Never---you would never end it with him. But you didn't have time to say so before he was grasping your hands tightly in his. 

"Please," he started. There was a catch in his voice. "Please don't end this."

You shook your head. "Jake, you don't understand."

"Then help me. Explain it to me, Honey. Whatever I did—"

"You didn't do anything," you interjected. Then, considering your words, said, "Well, you did, but so did I."

"You?" he questioned with eyes wide. "Honey, what could you have possibly—"

"Jake, I'm pregnant."

He blinked. And blinked again. Lips parted then closed. One of his hands released yours so it could muss his traditionally neat blond locks, then his eyes fell to your stomach. 

"Pregnant." He stated, no hint of a question behind it. "You're pregnant with…with my…?"

You nodded.

The long breath he expelled ended with a small smile that softly curved the delicate line of his mouth. Barely noticeable. Locking his gaze to yours and noticing your uncertainty, he said, "It's alright. We will figure this out, ok? I promise." Fingertips swept across your cheekbone. "I mean, I can—I can be a dad."

Your jaw slackened. "You want it?"

"Our baby?" he asked, a wobble to his tone. His brows rose as the rest of his features fell from heartbreak. "Don't you?"

You could've fallen apart then, right in front of him, to let out the many sobs you'd held in over the last few days. A bout of carefree weeping just from the pure acceptance Jake was showing you and the child you'd made together. 

"You don't." He once again concluded from your silence.

"No, Jake. I do. I swear I do," you said, rubbing the back of your hand over your nose as you sniffled. "I just didn't think you would. I–I wasn't sure."

"Of course I want our baby," he stressed, squeezing your hands again. 

This distress on his face made something in your chest alternate between gentle flutters and vice-like constricting. To have his unexpected support alone was enough to solidify the concealed love you felt for him. But you couldn't ignore how your questioning and insecurity clearly caused him further hurt.

"You say that so easily without even thinking it over."

"There isn't anything for me to think over, Honey," he said. "It's you."

Whether consciously done or not, Jake's fingers tightened the slightest around yours when you untwined them so you could wrap your arms around his neck. You had no intention of pulling away as he'd somehow thought. You just needed him closer,  more firmly against you. You needed the solidity of his form to hold you together.

Pulling him in, you asked, "Do you really think we can do this?"

Jake's hands curled around your waist. "We can do anything."

"Everyone will think we're insane."

"Well," he sighed, then tugged his bottom lip between his teeth and shrugged. "Probably. But this is our family. No one else's." A smile caused lovely crinkles to form at the corners of his eyes before he rested his forehead on yours. "And we can absolutely do this."

"You won't change your mind, right?"

"Never, Honey," he promised. "The two of you are mine."

—

"Are you nervous?"

Your fingers wove through his hair as his ear was resting against your stomach. Listening for any minute sound. Feeling for even the slightest movement.

His attachment to that part of you had grown exponentially since you started showing, and more often than not, his hands, his cheek, his lips were worshiping your lower abdomen.

"Not nervous," he said, looking up at you. "Excited. I want to see our baby."

There was a prickling in the corners of your eyes at his genuine joy. But that was a constant. Tears were common from the moment you found out when you were pregnant. They managed to come more often when Jake proved how much he loved you. And well, when he finally uttered those three words, your cheeks seemed to be damp on the daily. Everything he gave you, all at once, was so wonderfully overwhelming, and you didn't bother holding back.

Jake didn't shame you for it, either; just simply held you and kissed you and thanked you for being his.

"Do you want the doctor to tell us what it's going to be tomorrow?" You asked. 

"They don't have to. I already know."

You chuckled at his smirk, and in your testing tone, said, "Is that so? And what is our child, Lieutenant Seresin?"

"Oh, a girl. Definitely a girl," he said, laying his head back down close to your stomach. "You'll see."

-

Tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @ssa-sadboi @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @abaker74 @novagreen04 @multifandomlover4life @mayhemmanaged @memeorydotcom @ryiamarie @ateliefloresdaprimavera

[impactedfates]

Gayly crashes inside here/J

Anyways may I request a Jing Yuan with [platonic] bio-child reader.. Who has the most chaotic personality ever [ft sharing the same braincells as Yanqing] thank youuu

— 🫶🏻 Anon with a teddy bear gift 🧸

A/N: THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT, I’LL TREASURE IT FOREVER 🧸 I HOPE YOU’LL LIKE THIS

Genre/Trope: Platonic + Family (JY, You and Yanqing!) + Crack

Format: Bullet Pointed Scenarios/HC

Warnings: None

Extra: Reader is a teen in this // Single Father JY again but he loves his kids // Yanqing will be your younger brother for this // Reader works under Fu Xuan // Not fully proofread // Some mentions of modern day stuff but time is still taken in the HSR Universe

Loveable Headaches - Platonic Dad! Jing Yuan x Reader

Jing Yuan really does love his children, both you and Yanqing...but you two never seem to give him a break do you? From your brother always buying swords to you deciding to dramatically gasp about the future, causing them to be scared when all that happened was that they trip over a pebble the next day...

On a day where he wished he could be sleeping having done all his paperwork (or...most of them) Fu Xuan comes barging in dragging you behind her, glaring at the man. And although making people scared of their future is rather bad when you're a diviner...he can't help but chuckle sometimes Fu Xuan tries to make him lecture you.

Fu Xuan: General Jing Yuan, your kid started laughing when they saw someone's future. Jing Yuan: Is that so? What did they laugh at? Fu Xuan: A poor guy who got jump scared by a ca- Jing Yuan: Wheeze Ah ahem I mean, they did?

When you and Yanqing are hanging out together. It's either Yanqing being the responsible one and leading you out of trouble, or the other way around. Not one time have you two shared a brain cell and thought logically. At rare times, both of you would have no brain cells and Jing Yuan would have a Cloud Knight knocking at his office and bringing the two rascals who scared the trainee knights.

When Mimi first grew up and the family realised she was in fact a lion, you climbed on her back and began riding her around like a horse.

[Name]: Go Mimi go!! Jing Yuan: Sweetie…please get off her. [Name]: What why? D: We're both feline great Jing Yuan: *Trying not to laugh* G-good one…but you're gonna get hurt.

You and Yanqing probably on more than one occasion tried to go into R rated films when you both were younger. Unluckily for you, everyone knows the Generals kid.

The Dozing General loves his naps and sleep but he also loves you!...But if he hears you playing "We Will Rock You" at 3am in the morning with pots and pans one more time-

Honestly you give Fu Xuan a headache too sometimes. We already said you laugh at a divination you give that scares the other person but you also tend to act disgusted, concerned or any negative emotion when reading future moments...this can either lead to you telling them what happened which is usually such a small thing or you not telling them, simply stating "Can't say, ruins the future"

You probably stole a bunch of things from his room, it worked out for a bit as he wasn't sure where everything was going but you revealed yourself as the lil thief when you tried to steal his heavy sword. (It's a sword right? Or smt??)

You made Jing Yuan wear a powerpuff girls outfit once for Halloween. If he was a powerpuff girl or Dr whatever his name was I forgot, is up to you.

Jing Yuan seems like the type of guy to give kids the big chocolate bars for Halloween, so he needs to hide them from you and Yanqing before Halloween is here or else the kids won't have any as you snatched them with your lil brother.

I see that when you and Yanqing were younger, you tried dressing up as each other, wearing wigs and each other's clothing to try and trick Jing Yuan...however, your clothes were too big on Yanqing, and his clothes were too small on you.

Yanqing tried to jump scare you once when you were using the hose for something, needless to say. Yanqing came back in the house absolutely soaked.

Perhaps one day, the two of you dressed up as Jing Yuan, he found it so adorable!! He took so many pictures of the 'Mini Generals'...he may or may not have attempted to take a day off, gesturing to the 'Mini Generals' and how they would do the work.

Fu Xuan: General…they're kids, they're not ready for your job Jing Yuan: Kids! That want to be me, why not train them? Fu Xuan: General Jing Yuan: Ah, no fun Madam Fu, I'm going I'll do my work, I'll do my work.

He questioned if you were a dog in disguise when you were like 5 tbh. Cuz you bit a lot of things, heck he once came into a meeting with you hanging off his arm...by biting him...doesn't hurt him but he did question where you learnt that.

Yanqing was adopted as a kid, when Jing Yuan first came home with the lil guy, and introduced him to you as your younger brother...you tried to make him fly by throwing him off the kitchen counter, to which THANKFULLY Jing Yuan has the quick reflexes to save Yanqing, he scolded you of course. And hey, good thing Jing Yuan did save your brother as you wouldn't have your partner in crime otherwise.

Idk if I made the reader chaotic or not but hopefully this was alrightwfiof.

Sorry for slow updates (I say as if I didn't mention I'd also be concentrated on other things). I'm going to some resort or something for a school tour(?) and apparently it has no wifi/signal, so wish me luck...gotta bond with my classmates.

[lxvvie]

On today's episode of Pranks R Us: It's that time of the year when we're inundated with Christmas carols and movies. All. Damn. Day. Hallmark. Here's a scenario for you: How would your faves react to you purposely, horrendously serenading them with Christmas songs that... they don't like? 😊

Capt. John Price - He's nursing his cuppa because he knows for a fact that the boys put you up to this. He feels it in his bone marrow for Christ's sake. Price likes to think he's smiling behind the mug but his cheeks are hurting a bit too much for it to be genuine which really means he's gonna give the rest of 141 hell when he sees them the next time.

Gaz - Went from raising a brow to his cheeks being puffed the hell out because he's trying his best not to laugh in your face. When you're done, you have the biggest shit-eating grin... which devolves into laughter from both you and him. Tears are rolling down your eyes and he's clutching his stomach. God, he loves you, darling.

Soap - Soap is currently the Soapurrito™ with Whiskey (referencing this post) when you decide to randomly serenade them both. Not only do you have Soap looking confused but the dog keeps tilting his head as well, too. Then you hit that one note and they tilted their head at the same damn time and you just fell out laughing.

Ghost - (Referencing this post) Ghost was having a smoke and knit session and then you barged in and began singing. Not only did you sing the absolute worst fucking Christmas song to ever exist to him but you decided to channel your inner Luciano Pavarotti and make it classical for him. You thought you ate that shit but Ghost was staring at you in Say Sike, Mate the entire time while still knitting. You winked and blew him a kiss and if 'Why are we here? Just to suffer?' was a person.

Roach - He, like Price, was smiling a bit too brightly which means that he's crying on the inside. The one who gets up and gives you that reassuring squeeze because you got the spirit. Not everyone is meant to be a singer but he thanks you and revels in the holiday cheer! ❤️

Alex Keller - Was watching TV and not really paying attention to it and then BAM, you popped up! The more you sing, the more you realize his thighs are slowly but surely closing together and LIKE HELL YOU'LL CLOSE SHUT THE JAWS OF SWEET KELLER LOVIN', ALEX.

Alejandro - Alejandro looked up from his work, leaned back in his chair, and just stared at you with a furrowed brow. Rudy and the others are in earshot and are quietly, collectively laughing their asses off. You actually do a couple songs (per the bet) and Alejandro... has a stiff drink in the meantime lmao.

Rudy - Actually does laugh in your face, even though it's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Apologizes while laughing in your face. Because laughter is contagious, however, you, too, start laughing.

König - König gets incredibly excited because Schatz, he didn't know you liked to sing horribly! And when you're done, he, too, chooses to serenade you, and holy shit, König actually can sing!

Horangi - Horangi has the most deadpan expression on his face. He's the one that promises you you can sit on his face all day long if you'll promise him to never sing again stop singing.

Graves - Graves was on a conference call with the boys when you busted in and started singing. The entire time, he's rocking the Zoolander grimace and when you're done, you hear someone give their best Simon Cowell impersonation and then it turns into Shadow Company's Got Talent and you're being judged. 'A' for Ass effort, darlin'.

Valeria - The one who rolls her eyes and massages her temple. May or may not put your ass on the couch tonight for this. Or, better yet, you wanna sing? Put your mouth to good use and sing on her pu—

Keegan - Is the epitome of lost as hell. Keegan is the one grimacing with every high note you, er, try to hit. He can't even bring himself to smile but his eyes are somewhat comically wide, made more so after you kiss his cheek, take the piss out of him, and ask him how you did.