#we hope to make it extremely clear on this blog that our stance is “all art has a right to exist even if we dont like it”

[mantisgodsdomain]

Today's reminder that the block button is a free resource that can be used on anyone and anything that you don't care to find on your dashboard.

[betweentheracks]

Updates//Recent Inactivity

Hello all! This is me finally taking some time to sit down and offer up a rundown on how life is currently going as a means of explaining my inactivity. This is a personal post that is guaranteed to be both rambling and emotional so if that is not your cup of tea, I understand and happily advise you just skip over this post as it is not relevant to the actual content this blog was intended for.

EDITED: After reading this back I now realize this is really just me spilling the tea on my own life and is laughably dishy in details which is extremely not my usual stance on my personal privacy. But idk, it was cathartic so I'm leaving it as is despite the urge to redact 70% of what I say.

I'll start with the good news that I am officially out of lockdown and have remained COVID-19 free since my return home from the hospital. This also means my son finally was allowed to come home to me which is dazzling and exciting and also a little terrible too. He's at a precocious age where tantrums are the cool way to communicate and having been gone for so long completely thrashing his established routine has caused friction. He came home and his parent was not the same as when he left; is much weaker and less energetic than before, paler and shaky - but also there's the addition of my best friend having moved in to assist and take care of me/him while we all do our best to muddle through.

The readjustment has been rough and a lot of this week has made me incredibly thankful to have practically zero memory of how I was as a child. There have been injuries: I have been whacked in the face with the metal cover for a floor vent while dozing on the sofa instead of paying rapt attention to whatever silliness he was showing off to me, there was his complete dismissal of me asking him to stay back and away from the hot oven as I pulled lunch from it's fiery jaws only to then be faced with a toddler quickly approaching with his hand raised to touch so I naturally made a move to block him and in the process I let go of the oven door which slammed upward and clamped my arm tightly between it and the inside cavern of the oven while it was set to a roasty 400 degrees Fahrenheit - earning me a mangled arm with burns of varying degrees, and then we also had that fit where it seemed like a much more grand idea to scale the babygate cordoning the stairs and I had to rush up them to stop him from tumbling face first down two flights and of course did the falling all on my own and did it backwards then slammed painfully into the wall of the landing. This all happened within a 48hr time frame and makes me wonder why I am so catastrophically inclined.

I have bruises that range the majority of my spine courtesy of the wall and stairs, two minor first degree burns on my forearm that are in the shape of an equals and quite large despite the lack of actual pain I feel from them, and the underside of my forearm was instantly blistered then popped then melted down into a horrid glob of skin mush and sticky red-orange and is a second degree burn that I have been assured is no real cause for concern as long as I tend it with care. In all, I managed to escape my momjuries relatively unscathed and with a child that was scared senseless at having hurt his momma and is quick to listen and never stops cuddling me in the time since. Here's hoping he isn't significantly traumatized from this since exactly none of this is especially his fault and is due to my clumsy, accident-prone status in life.

So yes, The Toddler has returned home to me and after some happenings we have settled and are happy. However, his blast from the past father has suddenly just decided to reemerge after more than a year of radio silence and static and has slapped me with a custody petition. Hooray. While I have no worries on this matter due to my mother working for one of the top custody lawyers in the state and snagging him as my representation, and the utter lack of competency on my estranged baby daddy's end clearly being displayed in literally anything and everything the idiot does/says, I do have to now go through the overhaul of a custody case and that is just so weak and exhaustive. Not to mention the basis of his claims that I am not fit to raise a child are founded in my health concerns and the crazy work schedule I keep; ironically, my health is making it so that I have much less insane hours and makes this fairly moot but to each their own I guess. Also worth noting on this matter is that he only did this now because he was recently placed under penalty for child support back pay and nothing in this world matters to him like his money and this is his special way of getting one over on me for tampering with his meager earnings. (He's a wannabe musician - the soundcloud rapper sort, just so we are all on the same page here). If I thought for even a second this was a genuine desire to be an active and stable parent I would be a lot less pressed to act in favor of making it legally binding that he can only see him under a supervisory condition and share time evenly, but it just is not believable in the slightest.

So the thing is - my health is actually quite dismal presently. I'm due in for open heart surgery on the 8th of April and until then I have been doing my utmost to mind all the nagging I get from doctors, PT specialists, the surgeons that will be slicing and dicing me, and my in-family medical practitioner that sometimes remembers he is also my brother and not just an MD. But like, you guys, this surgery is terrifying and technically is two surgeries rolled into one. They'll be cracking my chest open and then stopping my heart while they lift it from where it sits sweetly unhinged and lopsided in my body and very finely shave away some of the excess muscle that has built up around the wall of my heart as well as some unfriendly scar tissue that has lingered since my last surgery years ago. Granted there is no accidental slip that nicks my ugly gargantuan heart and renders me as good as dead, once this first part is finished the other surgeon will need to be deft and very quick to place this ventricular assisting piece in the valve that has all but given up on functioning altogether and do so in the time remaining before the time limit for my heart being essentially unplugged from by body is up, which would also feasibly mean my death. Lots of exciting and terrible sounding consequences, am I right?

Well let's bear it in mind that I am just below 30 in age and therefore not duly experienced in the realm of facing down my own mortality via making all necessary legal arrangements and managing my affairs and assets so that, in event of my untimely death, the custody case still doesn't stand a chance of snatching my son away to the sad misfortune of being raised by a man that has stated openly he only has interest in his kids so far as what they can do for him/get for him in terms of benefit and that he would be unwilling to be hypocritical and never deter his children from drugs and a lifestyle of extremely questionable moral integrity and hygiene alike. Eugh. But I also have had to make sure there is a DNR in place just in case things go wrong during the operation, my will has also been finalized and notarized, all my savings and financial/material assets have been squared away to come into my child's inheritance when he is of age and, most importantly, a document that states clear and direct instructions for him to be placed in care of my mother or, if she is unwilling or incapable, he will be under custodial order and guardianship of my best friend whom he has always viewed as a pseudo-dad anyway. Legally binding and even in light of the paternity petition this document supersedes parental right by way of the provided evidence I have submitted to prove a lack of parental credibility. That's right, I spent days lowkey stalking and sleuthing about to capture what I needed to show this man for what he actually is and I have precisely zero guilt or shame for doing it; this is my child on the line and that means momma doesn't have to play by the rules of snitches getting stitches or whatever other scary street rules he tosses at me as idle threats. (He's done this routinely for all the years I have known him, and it is somehow both pathetic and hilarious because he knows for a fact that, if I wanted, I could throttle him in less time than it would take for him to form a rational thought between his drug soaked braincells - I was also a person of less than savory character not too long ago and can handle myself very well. But I digress because I am losing my track of thought.

After the surgery I will have so damn much PT and rehab, all of which will be specific to varying parts of my body that will need to be reworked and strengthened. Weeks, months of it really. This surgery is major and hits heavy enough that I will be in the hospital for at least 10-14 days just recovering from it without taking into consideration any number of complications that could pop up. Hell, if they get in there and find a situation worse than they currently have an understanding of in the limited capacity of cardiology tech can provide of such a gnarled beastly heart and realize they can't really do anything with it after all, I'll be added to the transplant list. I think this is more daunting to consider than the surgery, honestly.

In that way that doctors have about them, I was "comforted" by being informed that this was an inevitability and I would have been faced with this in a matter of years - less than a handful actually - but the way COVID-19 chewed through me sped it up. I'm sure my years of substance issues were also very helpful in this endeavor, but either way I still am unsure whether I feel better knowing this or not? Mostly I think I feel conflicted and hopeful tempered with the caution of life being super shady in the ways it has often brought me to the doorsteps of dying in situations that seem like odd chance. I also am gifted with being so capable in jinxing myself that I brought myself to COVID-19 ("The way life is going I'll probably square up with Rona next week or some bullshit." Positive test flagged within the following week) and also into labor ("Watch me go into labor on Labor Day since that would be the sort of universal pun that would strike my bad penny having ass." Indeed hatched my youngling on Labor Day of that year) by saying some things within the scope of my bad humor that instantly manifested as reality so I'm not taking any risks here lol.

The gist is that life is really stirring up the winds over here and so I haven't been online and posting anything that would make my blog valid in a fat minute. I do apologize for this and also for the fact that this post took me nearly a week to type up, but when things calm a little I will be back in full. For the time being I will be sporadic and do what I can when I can!

Thanks to anyone that read this mess all the way here! And a big thank you to all of you still supporting me!

[seulgiology]

i like the dances i do with you ㅣjung hoseok

pairing: idol!jhope x choreographer!original character

words: 3.2k 

genre: smut

warnings: smut lol, cursing, mature content

a/n: i really apologize but y/n makes me cringe ITS ADMIN 1 !!!! this is my first post and our overall first post for this blog so exciting. i’m new to writing, this is a very lowkey hobby of mine, admin 2 is the writer out of us two, but that doesn’t mean i won’t try lol. also the gif above is just for an extremely loose reference for the jhope down below, ik what he’s wearing there and the setting isn’t the same just bear with me. i’m open to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and feedback, i generally want to make this blog a good one

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. thank you and enjoy :)

--

“Guys, come on, the next part is really easy. All you have to do is-”

“You’ve been saying that for the past 3 hours Jeongyi.” 

“You wouldn't have to say that if Taehyung would stop trying to make Yoongi laugh every 5 seconds.”

“Yoongi needs to smile at somebody that's not Jimin and if it's anybody, it'll be Taehyung”

You let out a breathless chuckle, not even bothering to remove the sweat collecting on your upper lip and baby hairs sticking to your forehead. As you look at yourself in the mirror, you catch a member missing in the specific formation you carefully put together. You survey the idols until you find the suspect.

Your gaze shifted to the spot in the middle where the second main dancer, Jimin should be. You squint your eyes in exasperation when it was empty of him. There's a muffled snicker that catches your ears. Jimin’s dainty hands covered his plush lips, and his brown eyes disappeared into crescent moons as Hoseok continued to whisper in his ear, not realizing that they were interrupting.

“Care to share with the rest of us?” A playful smile graced your lips at the main dancer who jolts from being caught and bumps his forehead into Jimin’s head from being startled. “Hyung…” He whines, followed by murmured curses flying out of the younger's mouth as Hoseok turns sheepish and mutters an apology to him. 

Hoseok then puts his full attention to you, eyes shamelessly raking over your form. The tank that rose and bunched to a cropped state exposed your creamy skin and waist almost as small as the maknae himself. He doesn't care that you watch him look over the fullness of your breast, constricted in the sports bra. His piercing eyes glance at your sweat-covered collarbone and up to your lips.  They lingered there as your tongue darted out to lick their chapped form, and Hoseok couldn't stop his mind running to the dirty thoughts that plagued him. He forced his eyes away from your inviting lips when he felt himself twitch in his sweats and into your eyes that revealed your thick lashes, a knowing glint in your eyes.

You clear your throat and subconsciously rub your thighs together after feeling a slight slickness after being under his scrutinizing gaze. Yet, you continue to wait for an answer from both. When neither of the dancers moves their mouths to respond quickly enough, you say, “Both of you, upfront. Everyone else, you can take a 20-minute break unless I call you back earlier.” 

A mix of thank you and bows from the members cluster around your ears as they either rest against the blindingly white wall and floor as a worker either wipe a rag under their sweat tipped bangs or massages their sore muscles, or slug out of the practice room off to who knows where in the vast building. 

You look them both over, but noticeably keep your eyes on the main dancer a second too long. His white sweats hung tight around his waist, the strings tied for extra measure, and his loose gray tee showed nothing of his body. You vaguely remember Namjoon joking about how the dancer looked like Yoongi due to his simple colored clothes. 

You were about to move on until you reach that tantalizing stare of his, reeling you into his eyes that showed his desire for your body against his. A breath of a chuckle escaped his heart-shaped lips and he looked away while brushing his long fingers through the front of his parted black hair just for it to fall back into his dark eyes. You couldn’t even imagine how bad he wanted to fuck you against the mirror.

“Jimin-ah, you know what? I believe it was Hoseok’s fault over here that you were out of your formation, right?” You look at Jimin, who threw a confused squint at you from beneath his thick fringe before catching on. “Yeah Hobi-Hyung, you distracted me. I can't believe you would do this to me.” The shorter snickered up at the taller. Hoseok guffawed at me and stuttered over his words, the words “unfair,” were all you heard. 

“I’ll take it from here Jimin, you can relax. And drink some water while you're at it,” You smiled at him as he walked away and threw a victorious glance at Hoseok over his shoulder.  “Dwarf,” The older muttered loud enough for the other to hear. “Don’t act like I won't beat your ass, Hyung,” Was followed by the swift click of the door as Jimin ran from the hands of his member.

 “We’re going to dance, starting from the beginning up to the part you just learned,” You said, stopping to his right slightly behind him as were both looking into the mirror. You don't miss his eyebrow cock and the corners of his lips twitch into a smirk at your challenge. “Easy, I can do that.” He was relaxed, ready for an easy request. “Great, if you mess up, I'll have my best bud Seokjin over there hit you anywhere he wants.” You gesture to the male lazily spinning himself in a chair on his phone, mindlessly blowing raspberries through his plump lips. 

“Play the song from the beginning, with a 5-second countdown please,” you say to no one in particular as I ready myself. You see the amusement and mischief in his eyes as he swiftly positions himself behind you, as part of the choreography, close enough for you to feel his hot breath down my neck. “You’re going to dance your parts but I’ll switch between everyone to keep it decent enough, ok?” You whisper to him, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling between your legs.

“Five.” Namjoon’s voice rings out from behind the table.

You role your wrist and take a deep breath in, clenching and releasing your hands.

“Four.”  Jimin and Yoongi walk back into the practice room together, faces flushed as they quietly take a seat next to Namjoon.

You look into Hoseok’s eyes and soon roll them as he winks at you, a suggestive smile playing at his lips.

”Three.”  Jeongguk discreetly places himself against the wall, plucking Jimin behind his head earning him a wince from the older.

You feel Hoseok shift behind you, his front brushing against your ass in the slightest. You let out an almost inaudible whimper, hoping it went through deaf ears. Oh, the things you wish he’d do to you.

“Two.” Taehyung places himself on the edge of the foldable table, his striking eyes never once leaving your figure.

You feel like he's counting slow on purpose. Why are you getting nervous?

“One.” Seokjin lets out a loud "fuck" and wheels himself as fast as he can to the table with the rest.

The sudden sound of Taehyung's deep voice hits my ears as the first verse of "Fake Love" plays and you move your body to the beat.

«10 minutes later»

Well over ten minutes passed and Hoseok managed to get slapped in the ass, thigh, and back. His shirt stuck to his torso and back from his back and faintly painted the outline of his abs. He tried pushing the sweat-dipped hair out of his flushed face but it just smacks against his forehead. He was panting but stood up strong, ready for more.

Suddenly, a manager walked in and informed everyone in the room that practice for the day was over. Everyone but Hoseok and you bounded up before regretting it as their limbs were too sore and stiff from practicing and sitting too long without stretching. You gave Jin a silent chuckle of gratitude and saluted him as he carried a plush RJ in one arm and threw you a kiss in the other. The rest slightly bow towards you and say they'll meet in the van as their manager makes sure Namjoon doesn't trip over his own two feet from exhaustion.

Once they all pile out, along with the other workers, you allow yourself to rest for a few minutes, promising you’ll get up in 2 minutes

«38 minutes later»

Your eyes fly open at the familiar bass of a popular American song filling your ears. Out of the corner of your eyes, you see Hoseok position himself in a stance, getting ready to dance. 

You're so, fucking, precious, when you, smile…

His body twists and turns to the beat, movements fluid yet sharp. His face contorted into one of absolute concentration. Sometimes he’ll stop and do a particular move over again, but he's just making it up as he goes. You would've never known with the way he moved, but being a skilled choreographer lets you see his slight uncertainty in most counts. 

Hit it, from the, back and, drive you, wild…

You sit up and catch his attention. He paused the song and looked over at you questioningly. “I can teach you a dance to that song if you want.” You leaned back and placed your hands behind you to await his response, practically presenting yourself to him.

“Only if it’s good,” he said as he helped you up from the floor. You lifted both hands at him and he slid his much larger and softer ones into yours, his hands warm. But he pulled you up to quick, and a squeal left you as you lost your footing and waited for the floor to meet your back. Hoseok sprung into action swiftly wrapped an arm around your upper back and the other around your open waist. You ended up firmly pressed into his chest, your hands tightly help onto his biceps.

“Damn, your hands are cold,” You hissed out, subconsciously digging your nails into his arms. He grunted and tightened his hold, pressing my breast against his chest. He looked down into your widened eyes, his own hooded from feeling how hard your nipples are against him from your thin shirt. “Alright, let's start,” You sputtered out, his intense eyes giving away everything he felt at that moment. He let out a hum and slowly dragged his hands away from my body, ironically leaving it cold. 

You mentally cursed yourself at the song choice. Back in the states with your own crew, you taught a duet. Specifically made for two people involved with each other in a sexual way. We’ll be fine, we’re professionals. You let your hair out of its ponytail and let it drop to your shoulders, missing the way Hoseok put his hands in his pocket to refrain from gripping the soft strands between his fingers.

You start, instructing Hoseok to stand behind you once again, moving his hands to touch you according to the beat of the music and you find a rhythm in your movements together and find the pace. You dance next to each other, a giddy smile on your face at seeing him fall into step with your movements and he glances at you with that sunny smile of his. 

Girl anything I can do just to make you feel alright…

For that part of the song it all had to happen at the same time, no pausing in between. You needed to execute it cleanly, fluidly and full of pure unconfined craving.

He gripped your waist and pulled his body flush against yours, your smaller body fitting like a puzzle, and you rested your head on his shoulder, your neck exposed to him. His right hand steadily and sensually slid up under your shirt until they lied directly under your breast, his thumb lightly pressed on your clothed nipple. Simultaneously, his left hand danced their way down your open stomach, leaving a ticklish sensation as the tips of his fingers glided over the skin before continuing their trek down to your leggings and over your aching center. 

You both were too lost in the moment to realize that his hands should’ve stopped a safe distance away from your sensitive areas, as a breathy moan slipped past your lips and the sound traveled all the way down to his hard-on. He pressed his soft lips to your unmarked neck and relished in the sounds you emitted.  His hand began to gently cupped your breast and give it a light squeeze just as he began to pull your skin between his lips, sucking to leave a bruise. 

The music seemed to fade into the background as the only sounds being heard was your soft whimpers and the light smacking noises from Hoseok’s frantic kisses and hickeys. He let his fingers dip into her sweats and tease their way her mound over her damp panties.

Slow and steady,

“Hoseok… please,” She whined, her hips unconsciously began bucking against his hand, needing the feeling in her stomach to come undone. A low chuckle rumbled in her ear, sending chills down her back. The feeling passed when she felt his fingers push the fabric aside and speed up their assault.

“Look, baby you’re dripping all over my fingers,” Loud, needier moans with the obscene sound of her wetness filled the now musicless practice room turning them both on to return. The song had ended, but another was about to play.

“Please what? If you want something, you need to say it,” He whispered in her ear, “But that doesn’t mean you deserve it. Not with that bratty mouth of yours,” his lips brushed against your ear lobe, an unrestricted needy whine breaking from her. He brought his hand up to softly wrap around her neck to bring her closer. He drifted a finger inside of her, moving at a slow and tantalizing pace, never fully letting her close to her undoing.

“I- ah,” Another digit slipped in with the other, eliciting a higher pitched moan and the grip she didn’t realize she had on his wrist around her neck to tighten. “Fuck, Hoseok we don’t have all night,” Your words slurred with the pleasure the dancer was providing with his finger toying with your sensitive clit, body jerking with every touch of his quick fingers.

As if your words finally registered in his mind that this is a practice room and you had to be quick, he pulled out his fingers, much to your dismay. He walked your back to the closest mirror, the glass now pressed against your back. “Take these off,” He tugged the band of your sweats trying to relay the message. You hurriedly rid yourself of the clothes, and he wasted no time picking you up and pressing your bareback against the mirror. His hands were under your thighs as he pressed his clothed dick against your dripping folds, eliciting a low groan from him.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, too fucked out to realize he had pulled his sweats down until you felt his dick poking at your entrance. “Wha-,” You never got to finish your sentence because of the delicious feeling of him sliding into you. Both of you let out moans when he finally bottomed out inside of you, the feel of your warm and wet walls sucking him in. You feel so full, yet you already wanted more and he hadn’t even started moving yet. “Shit, baby you’re so tight around me,” he grunted out, already starting a swift pace at the feel of finally having you. You leaned back against the mirror, letting him take you as he pleases, the moans spilling from your lips an absolute sin to his ears. “Hoseok, more, please I want more,” You moaned out in his ear. 

If more was what you wanted, then that’s exactly what you were going to get.

He readjusted his grip and roughly pushed you back into the mirror, his cock rapidly slamming into your hole. “This is what you wanted right? My cock filling you up till you cry for me to keep going, and going, and going” He made sure to enunciate every word of his by fucking into you harder and harder. The moans you were emitting were absolutely wanton, your mouth forming an “O” from his thrusts. Hoseok placed his head at the crook of your neck to try and silence his own moans, but the normally eccentric dancer couldn’t control the moans coming from him because of how good you felt wrapped around his waist and how deep he was buried inside you. 

“Sh-Shit, I’m so close,” he practically whined, he was chasing his orgasm now, his pace brutal and relentless. “Oh, right there,” You sobbed as he hit that place inside you that had seeing stars. You opened your eyes and saw yourself from across the room; Hoseok working his hips into your heat, and you helplessly holding onto him for dear life as your orgasm was quickly approaching you. Your head lolled on his shoulder when you felt his fingers quickly working at your abandoned clit, the added pleasure bringing you to your high faster than you could’ve imagined. “Please don’t stop,” You were both moaning messes at this point, the lewd noises coming from your conjoined bodies adding on to the deeper moans from him and the higher-pitched ones from you. 

“I’m… I’m gonna cum,” your body convulsed and you felt him thrust particularly harshly inside you while his fingers hand never stilled their movements on your clit, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you saw white. “That’s it, baby, you’re taking me so well,” You sobbed through your orgasm, tears rushing down your face as he kept his pace. He looked up from your shoulder and came from the sight in front of him while whimpers of pleasure were filling the practice room from your lips. You were overstimulated through his own orgasm, his hips relentless as he emptied his seed into your pulsating walls and moaned your name like a mantra. He sloppily milked himself through his high, your mixed cum dripping down his shaft. 

He slowly and carefully slid out of your sensitive area, not missing the wince you made at the action. His softening cock shone with your release, but his eyes sparkled at seeing it drip out of your core. Before it could hit the floor, he pushed two of his fingers inside you, telling you to keep it there as a reminder of him when you returned to your hotel. Like I’d forget what we did here. He put you back down on the white floors, the fatigue kicking in from multiple dance routines and mind-blowing sex. The only sounds left were your heavy breathing, post-sex bliss still suffocating the room as you two silently fixed yourself up, not exchanging a word.

Just before you were about to leave the white practice room, you turned towards him as he just ended his call to one of his managers to send him a car to pick him up. “You know…” You trailed off. He turned his complete attention towards you, waiting for the rest of your sentence.

You were so nervous, but that doesn’t make sense since you were just begging for him. He strode towards you, a smile creeping it’s way up to his face at your sudden reservedness. “I know what?” You looked up at him, his domineering presence almost making you choke up.

“You never kissed me.”

[oh-lali-lali-lali-lalipop]

@mysteriousdbzgt: Hi oh-lali-lali-lali-lalipop! Thank you for your ask. First of all, thanks for asking this question here on my personal (and also for the follow over on t&bftw, welcome aboard! :D) I think you can probably tell from here, that I’m a huge supporter of them becoming romantically involved lol I don’t shy about that here, but I like to present a more neutral stance over on my news dedicated blog, to not influence others of my personal opinions. With regards to the new season, as much as I would be supportive of it, I unfortunately highly doubt that they would become “official” in S2 or anything in the future, but will remain extremely dedicated and attentive to one another, regardless of their constant bickering. The creators of the show are more than aware of the popularity of the “couple”, being constantly popular at doujinshi events and the continuous amounts of merchandise that they bring out, which regularly focuses on the main duo rather than all of the Heroes all the time. The fandom is primarily dominated by women, when originally the show was supposed to target men and “salarymen”, but attracted a completely different demographic that they hadn’t anticipated. I can only think that’s mainly because of the appeal of K&B. Also not helped by some of the staff’s, let’s just say, “unfiltered” thoughts when they discuss about K & B in older interviews, centering around “love” and other similar notions. I think they still want to keep this series aimed towards a male demographic, even if the results don’t line up as they expect. But highly ironically, it’s what makes the show successful, so I doubt they would want to change how they portray Kotetsu and Barnaby’s relationship. Personally I would be absolutely over the moon if they did become “official”, because they’re just perfect for one another (hehe) and it could just break so many standard conventions/boundaries on how media portrays same-sex relationships, if done appropriately, and not be labelled with any genre tags like “BL”, “yaoi” or anything similar, and still simply just be a “drama”, “superhero” tale, with the two main males eventually getting together but not make a big song and dance about it. If we want to normalise LGBT relationships within our media and what we consume, then we need to drop these tags and portray them in a healthy manner, which I think the show does well between them both. I believe that the staff have the talent to pull it off, they just need to be cautious on how they do it. Like you said, how FE is presented in the show which such great self confidence about themselves and who they are, really shows that they can write this. Also T&B’s spiritual successor show, Double Decker (who had a lot of the same staff) tackles some LGBT themes pretty well, so they could absolutely do it. But yeah, I don’t think they’ll become “official” unfortunately. But if anything, I anticipate that KxB will most likely be working even closer together in S2, so they’ll be more in tune with one another, and possibly open up even more to each other than they did before. Hopefully they’ll be over the huge feuds and split apart phase, which The Rising focused on (they’ll still bicker all the time, but that’s just how they are), so we can see just how far their relationship has come and changed for the better. Anyway this is probably way too long (sorry), but always interested to hear your thoughts too! :)  

Heya! Before I start I just wanna say thank you so much for taking the time to give me such a thorough reply, it is incredibly well thought out and written! I also want to say I am so freaking sorry you had to type out my monstrosity of a name (seriously didn’t think about that when making the joke lol). Oh, and I’m equally sorry for the formatting of the reply... really had no clue how to go about it, so I just defaulted to going about it the roleplayer way haha. Anyways, for starters, I think I should say that I actually agree with you a lot. You see, logically I think it feels highly unlikely they’d make them “official” in the new season. I’m not sure if I feel like it’s unlikely because I, someone who’s in the LGBTQ community, am a pessimist (aka, I’m negative regardless of proof) who is use to companies not delivering on it/assume companies won’t deliver on it.... or if I’m genuinely, but unconsciously, picking up on Sunrise’s stance of “not gonna happen”. Despite all that I still feel stupidly hopeful about it (y’know, heart louder than the mind and all that jazz)... and I guess for the sake of the discussion I’ll break down why! lol So, I got into the fandom.... around the time of The Rising, I think, so anywhere from 2014 to 2015. I instantly fell in love with it all, but I did end up falling out of the loop for awhile (being a teenager and all that). Recently (recently being that I finished S1 on Friday, watched The Rising on Sunday, and now I’m here lol) I got back into it and.... wow, a lot of it is the same, and.... at the same time it felt like I had so much more to process. It’s still as amazing as ever, if not even more so, and just like with everything else I love with my entire being I started to analyze it and read into it (maybe a little bit too much so lol).  In all honesty, KxB seriously stood out even more so than it did last time for me (I don’t know if it’s because I’m now accepting of my sexuality or what) and while it’s not actually the best part of the series to me (God, Barnaby’s arc means so much to me what with me struggling with cPTSD, but that story is best left on my RP blog) I do have to admit that the pairing is... incredibly meaningful, and beautiful. Moving for me, really.  I guess the following observations, and hopeful thinking that came after it, could be deduced to me just wearing shipper goggles, but considering my habit of over analyzing and breaking things down... I do try to make predictions and opinions logically, and with that in mind it’s why I’m so stuck on the “hopeful thinking”, since a tiny bit of logical thinking is fueling it. Tiger & Bunny is about human relationships, really. For a show focusing on NEXTs... it’s really about humanity, corruption, society, relationships... and KxB all along the first season is written as an undertone, like a slow burn (which is entirely fitting, and seriously makes any relationship better), which fits because the first season is, in actuality, not focused on that (the plot being bigger than we can see and all that). In the end, having rewatched it, I also noticed how, really, the undertone is written in such a way that.... it feels like Barnaby is the one with the “crush” (or is the first one to realize it) which... kinda fits with the old statements from the crew. Kotetsu the forever oblivious one who hasn’t had an epiphany yet (although if I’m being honest, The Rising seems to have this “side-plot” feeling of Kotetsu having the epiphany when he realizes what he’s lost, which is what I meant by the flow of the series somewhat feels like it’s building towards it)...  .... There’s also the whole “leaving it to interpretation thing” they said back then. Which, I have to agree with some other people that it feels like it’s just a way of saying “it’s romantic but we don’t want to take that risk”.... and that was back around 2011. It’ll have been decade since then when S2 is released, and, while a decade is just a decade, a lot has changed on a societal basis since then. Even during this decade long gap Sunrise has become more bold with their representation, whether it be Double Decker! or The Rising.... almost like they’re testing the waters...  and what better way to champion representation than to make two main characters the representation? This franchise is... so human in it’s story, and the meaning doing such a thing would have for so many people... in a way, I think out ways some of the risks. I feel like the build up is there, the want is there (tbh seeing posts on tumblr of people talking about how they hope they’ll get a kiss in S2 or something “official” like that also fueled this)... it just depends on whether they’ll feel afraid or not. Which is, really, why I asked for your opinion. You do such good work at trying to bridge the gap between the Japanese fandom/Sunrise and the English speaking community (which, btw, you are amazing at, I can’t thank you enough for the work you do), and I knew you’d be more informed on Sunrise’s attitude and statements, as well as the general opinions and depositions of the Japanese fans. In the end, I can “read into” things all I want, but it won’t matter if you can’t understand the one who pulls the strings... and because of that I wanted to know your opinion.  I’m so so sorry this got so long!! I’m really horrible at summarizing myself, so this turned into a major ramble.... I’m gonna wrap it up now before this turns into a novel haha. Again, thank you so much for responding to my question and for being open to discussing it, it means so much! I truly respect your opinion, since it helps me clear my own thoughts, as well as gives me a dose of reality so I don’t get my hopes up too much... I guess in the end though, a part of me is going to continue to think that they just might have the heart to do it, irregardless lol. I look forwards to seeing what you have to say about what I’ve written here!

[gemsofgreece]

If there is one thing we would never believe, any man from any country, is turkish accuracy and truthfulness. They are illusional, dilusional and they dont care about history at all.

Okay let me explain my perspective for this. I was not sure if I should answer, but then you would think I am a hypocrite or a coward and I ‘d rather avoid that.

I want to make clear that as a Greek, I choose to side with objectivity, the verified historical events. If that’s not available, I will side with the Greek version of things each time as opposed to the Turkish one.

I agree that Turkish propaganda and alteration of historical events is extreme and ongoing for decades if not centuries. However, I won’t blame every single Turkish person for this. I’ll blame their leaders and governments and then everyone who swallows what they say uncritically and fill with unreasonable hatred towards other nations or religions.

The turkish Anon who came here was well-meaning, to my understanding. They expressed genuine confusion because of the contradicting versions, not anger. I won’t scream “THEY LIE TO YOU” to every well-meaning, possibly young person that comes to my ask box with a question. I could only hope to invite this person to take some things taught in the neighbour country with a little more critical stance and that’s it. And let’s not forget, this applies to all of us without exception for the dark moments of our own histories, even if it happens in a smaller degree.

The english wikipedia says that Mehmed couldn’t bear the excessive looting that took place in the city so he stopped his troops after one day of pillaging (although the ottoman custom instructed three days of pillage in every taken city). Of course, to us Greeks, little does it matter if the violence lasted one or three days. It’d better never happen AT ALL, let alone the sack of the city itself, thank you very much. But maybe this is a sign that Mehmed was less violent than other Ottoman sultans and maybe turkish schools latch on to this and beautify / alter the events even more.

I won’t put any lies here, I have a problem with turkish political leaders and many historical figures as well as their blind followers and I’ve proven it with a few posts already. I don’t have a problem with every random Turkish person there is though. Furthermore, I don’t wish to turn this blog into a battlefield. Unless of course somebody comes with such intentions. Then I will not answer at all or I will bite back :)

[anticallouts]

Question. does your idea of being anti-callouts also include folks of different belief systems that would involve, say, a much narrower view of sexual morality, or are they fair game to be called out as homophobes and all that just because of their beliefs, even if they’ve never actually displayed any kind of discriminatory behavior? Or what about those who sided with or even remotely supported trump or are from MAGA groups? Are they outside the scope of your anti-callout mission too? Asking cuz imo it’s hypocritical to say you’re anti-callouts but then think its ok for these folks to be ostracized and bullied cuz “they need to be held accountable” for beliefs that you don’t agree with and more often than not, don’t fully understand what they believe or why. And I’m not talking about stuff they said decades ago, I’m talking about present day stuff.

First, I will direct you back to this post, specifically the ending paragraph:

One important thing to internalize is that ignorance doesn’t make you a bad person. This goes for judging your own actions as well as others’. It’s okay to constantly be learning and adapting your behavior based on new information. If you find out from discourse that you had been using hurtful language or promoting a hurtful idea, it doesn’t mean you were secretly a bad person all along. It just means you didn’t know. In an ideal world, we would all be patient and forgiving with people who weren’t acting in bad faith, but unfortunately this is Tumblr. Just try to do your best, and take breaks if you need them.

The key point here is ‘in bad faith’. This blog, and the general disagreement in fandom re: callout culture, usually stems from the idea that it is bad to hold people with taste in unpopular fictional ships to the same standard as unrepentant abusers, pedophiles, racists, and homophobes. The point is not that those categories of people aren’t in themselves problematic, just that shippers shouldn’t get tacked on to that list for liking anime boy 1 and anime boy 2, nor should ANYONE get tacked onto that list based on rumors or anon messages if there is actually no evidence of wrongdoing.

We can debate until the cows come home about what ‘counts’ as bigotry and the right way to deal with microaggressions, but for this post (and because you mentioned MAGA and homophobic Christianity) I’m going to assume you’re talking about standard, run-of-the-mill bigotry. The kind you can look at and easily understand exactly why it is hurtful.

Being against callout culture is not the same thing as being against all callouts, all the time, for any reason. (I did not name this blog, I inherited it. I am now considering a revised URL if that is the impression this one gives.)

I am never going to defend a homophobe. I am never going to defend a racist. If someone comes to me with a tweet from a homophobe’s twitter acct that says ‘God says all lesbians are abominations but I’m not homophobic tho it’s just what the Bible says’ I’m not going to assume they’re an infant who doesn’t understand logic or empathy or critical thinking. I’m gonna block them. If they’re famous, I’m gonna show my friends and my friends are also gonna block them and also possibly talk shit about them on Twitter because they’re bajillionares and it doesn’t matter.

(Except really I encourage people not to do this - not because it’s morally wrong, but because they can use their much larger platform to harass you if they feel like it. See John Boyega’s behavior towards the women who were hurt by his misogynistic language as an example.)

Now, on a smaller scale, if they’re just a regular old member of a fandom? If it turns out everyone blocks them because they won’t stop talking about how much they hate the gays and Jews and SJWs and the fandom is full of gays and Jews and SJWs who don’t want to listen to it, that’s not ostracization, that’s quality control. No one gets to complain that other people won’t listen to their opinions, and that’s not what this blog is advocating for.

I am extremely pro-block. I block people for ALL KINDS of things. I see a comment in the notes of a post I do not vibe with? Block. Don’t care if that user has never spoken to me in my life. I am the arbiter of my fandom experience, as is everyone else.

Furthermore, I want to address what seems to me to be the core of your complaint here:

“... even if they’ve never actually displayed any kind of discriminatory behavior?”

See, this is a bit logically inconsistent and it makes me wonder if this ask was not sent in good faith, but rather to try and catch me in a ‘gotcha, so much for the tolerant left’ type of way.

If someone is not displaying any kind of discriminatory behavior, then they fall under the ‘don’t make baseless callouts’ protection. There’s no evidence of any wrongdoing, no victim, no crime. Thinking gay people are horrible is, like, wrong, but as long as they keep that to themselves when engaging with others, fine. However, the fact that someone is being called out for open homophobia or racism means that... Hm... how do I put this... they kind of are displaying discriminatory behavior, my dude.

If they’re 12 years old and repeating what their racist dad said or homophobic pastor said, then yeah, don’t harass them. Don’t harass anyone, actually, but I am not Fandom God and I don’t control the whims or ways of the internet denizens so I can’t really do anything about that. Harassment doesn’t actually accomplish anything and is a waste of energy. Report them if they’re breaking the TOS and move on. (See my pro-block stance above for the acceptable alternative. Blocking! It’s like Herd Immunity, for fandoms.)

But everyone else in the fandom space has a right to warn each other ‘hey, there’s a 12 year old over there with no filter and they’re super racist, here’s their tweets.’

If they’re an adult and they’re doing that? As you said, present day stuff? It is completely fair game for their tweets or posts to be catalogued and shared as proof that they are a clear and present danger to other people in the fandom. Racists and homophobes have this nasty little habit of attempting to hurt people they hate, fandom needs ways to self-regulate and keep itself safe from actual harmful bigots.

There’s also a lot to be said about expecting vulnerable members of the community to do all the work educating people who are actively being malicious towards them in the hope that one comment will break through their willful ignorance and show them the light of human decency and teach them how to be good people and decent fans. If someone feels bad that other people don’t like them because of their homophobic beliefs, it’s not the fandom’s job to take them under wing and teach them why homophobia is wrong. None of us came out the womb knowing how to treat people; if the majority of us could figure it out by cultural osmosis, so can our racist homophobic strawman here. Either by being told directly, or by seeing that bigots are not welcome and making the single necessary logical leap that maybe it’s because homophobia/racism/etc hurts people and no one else likes being hurt.

So, to break it down:

Private racists: not posting anything racist, not harassing poc in the fandom, how would you ever know? Gross, but ultimately harmless. Can’t do anything about them, hopefully they see enough posts about why racism is bad to finally change their ways.

Past racists: said some dumb racist shit in the past, apologized, aren’t currently doing anything racist? Leave them alone. Be thankful. Hope that other people look to them as an example in learning and humility and growth.

Active racists: do not deserve your pity or protection. Learn to treat other people with respect or get off the internet. Shed no tears when they end up blocked by 90% of the fandom and anyone else with a brain. Their ignorance does not supersede everyone else’s right to feel safe and welcome in a community. Much like with private racists, I hope they learn (with a more direct lesson) that no one likes racists or wants to hang out with them and if they want friends they should learn to treat others as human beings.

[shimakaze-revivalism]

alright.

i made dawn's acquaintance shortly before leaving on a trip to visit my longtime girlfriend sybil and my girlfriend jackie, who at the time i'd known for less than two months. i had been very isolated, both before this time and during it. at sybil’s prompting, i had recently joined a server run by bryn, the first community i had been a part of in a very long time. i met jackie there, and she had been the first person i'd talked to at length besides sybil for about two years. i first messaged dawn to clarify something i'd seen her say:

"Which deaths matter: Those killed by their partners, or those dying alone in garages full of carbon monoxide, with nooses around their necks, with excess drugs in their systems?

Of course all kinds of transfeminine people are at risk of both kinds of death, but we know that the proportions between demographics differ. We also know who makes the news and who dies alone."

this was a patently ridiculous thing to say. i knew that at the time, and her noncommittal yet revealing explanations further confirmed it. she went on to map out her trans-lesbianism-moralizing stance, implicitly, evasively equating nonwhite death by transmisogynistic violence with white transmisogyny-fuelled suicide, blah blah. i let it pass, valuing interpersonal civility as i did at the time, and hoping to make friends by default.

i mention this because it would set the tone for our dealings from then on.

we developed a fairly active friendship. beginning from early on in our relationship, dawn took great care to emphasize the existential gulf between our embodiments, never quite laying it bare, but making it clear that she was uniquely disadvantaged as compared to myself, who was, in turn, uniquely privileged over her. i should state plainly and crudely for clarity's sake that i am a mentally ill chinese trans woman dropout, who was, at the time, underweight and extremely isolated. i would continue to be those things, sometimes increasingly, throughout the course of our relationship. dawn is white and transfeminine.

also beginning from early on in our relationship was her insistence that i never make reference to jackie's and my relationship, which she also applied to jackie. this was enforced through negative reaction (harshly scolding me, blocking me for days, then acting as if nothing had happened). this was, ostensibly, due to her unreciprocated desire for jackie to be her girlfriend. i would say that it is a very irresponsible rule to impose upon someone who spoke regularly to 3 people in the world. it's worth noting that dawn did not impose this same rule upon bryn regarding her relationship with jackie, for reasons unclear to me.

dawn would often voice her grievances with jackie; her erratic availability for commitments, irregular response times to messages, refusal to enter into a codified romantic relationship; once, the fact that jackie had failed to do something sexual when dawn wanted her to. my girlfriend became an entity i couldn't fawn over, save for platonically, but one who i must always be ready to accept criticism of. you can imagine that this was not conducive to the honeymoon period of a young relationship, not that i would fault dawn for this particular action, in isolation.

along the way, i started wanting a codified romantic relationship with dawn. this made it difficult for me when dawn would constantly talk about how attractive various people in her life were and how virtuously they conducted themselves interpersonally and sexually. of course these are natural and normally innocuous things to talk about, but the frequency was very high, often coincided with vulnerable periods for me, and often felt pointed. once i said something to dawn about how i cared about her and was worried that i was a diversion to her. she chose to tell me that she had just got done having the same conversation with someone else.

dawn bemoaned her lack of partner(s). the fact that i was partnered, as most of her friends were, was something i was made to feel a lot of guilt over. my relationship status was one of the things that she made clear set us apart, made us unequal. i heavily internalised the message: dawn was a traumatized, mentally ill, isolated, alienated, pitiable girl (and i wasn't).

in july of 2019, i had been flippant about the difficulty for the game master in balancing the mechanics of the tabletop rpg monster of the week, and responded excessively flippantly to her explanations. (consulting the logs to write this post filled me with anger on behalf of the girl that i was at the time; an anger she didn’t know she was entitled to). i won’t claim that it wasn’t wrong for me to behave that way, i will just say that i apologised as soon as she expressed that i had upset her. she took the chance to re-emphasize how i was a hurtful, maladjusted person, and responded to my apology by once again defining me into the category that her abusers and oppressors occupied. 

two weeks after that, i was in the middle of an involved babysitting session which i couldn't feasibly take a break from when dawn told me that she had decided to sever ties. we had a short, nominally-civil discussion. i swallowed everything, apologized to the end for whatever infinite wrongdoing i was guilty of. i couldn't process what was happening quickly enough. before i could absorb it, we'd said goodbye and i had been rather unceremoniously blocked on discord. i needed so badly to cry, to scream and clutch myself. but, like i said, babysitting. less than 3 hours after this happened, after I'd had some time to myself to absorb it, i sent her a single tumblr ask; a parting shot that i’d been denied. a desperate, manic attempt to feel real, to feel like i was my own person, she would smugly make her smoking gun of my boundary violating behaviour. that was the last i ever contacted her. 

after her severing ties, my isolation was heightened, particularly within the shared space of bryn’s server. i stopped participating, and soon left. how could i act normally and joke about video games when i shared a space with someone i wasn’t supposed to be around? would it be a violation of boundaries to riff off something she said? to express affection for my girlfriend who she still talked to? and what was the point? i didn’t know anyone else particularly well, and these were some of the women who i was so much less interesting and virtuous than. 

i never talked about dawn to anyone besides sybil or jackie until now, when she made a post featuring screenshots of my blog and then publicizing my 8 month old tumblr ask. such was the extent of my poisoning her friends against her. bryn and her girlfriend took issue with dawn’s mistreatment of them for reasons entirely separate from myself, and certainly not at my prompting.

for my part, seeing friends of jackie’s reblog from dawn and seeing them in the notes of her posts about me has been intensely paranoia-inducing, primarily due to the escalating severity and danger of the charges that she began to lay against me in these posts.

that’s about it. thanks.

--

tldr, dawn is a white transfem and i’m a chinese transfem. we were both very isolated and new to bryn’s server, began a friendship during which she positioned me as being essentially different and more privileged than her, grouped me with her oppressors and abusers, and undermined my relationships, including with my girlfriend who i’d only recently met. after the relationship ended, she effectively barred me from the only community i had, and later started alluding to me being a predator.

also check out these excerpts, both from the same post she made:

[blazehedgehog]

re: Tristan's current state of mind ... my best guess is that he has badly misjudged the cause of the ongoing backlash. He doesn't seem to understand why he offended people who share his political views—his original explanation of his position was handled in the most juvenile, ham-handed way possible, and THAT was the main issue for many people who would otherwise be on his side. He keeps harping on this idea that people are offended by the idea that Sonic and politics don’t mix, though! (cont.)

When his friends urge him to chill out and rethink the way he’s posting, I wonder if he’s misinterpreted that as “Tristan, your politics are too controversial and you’re alienating people, you shouldn’t be so passionate about BLM.” Obviously that’s not what you’re trying to tell him. I’m sure you agree that his heart is in the right place and you support his strong stance on such an important issue, but I get the feeling he doesn’t understand that, and I think that’s why he’s become so hostile.

I do believe his heart is in the right place, yeah. He may have originally expressed it in a way that seemed a little heavy-handed, but that’s kind of what blindsided me about closing TSSZ down. Cringy or not, he wasn’t necessarily wrong about what he said, it was more just the way he said it, you know?

And despite the rush to close the site before any of the staff could have any input on the matter, the way he’s acting makes it seem like he’s super salty about the whole thing. That’s why I said this feels so weirdly selfish -- he shut down the site out of his own self-preservation, but he pops up every now and then just to wag a finger at the last few people still following the account, and only to say “SEE? I WASN’T WRONG! YOU IDIOTS!!”

And it’s like, dude, that’s totally not the point, and you’re just making this worse for yourself, and by extension, you’re making it worse for all of your former staff members. This is the least graceful way to put the TSSZ News brand to rest. The only point he’s making is showing us he won’t let go.

And, you know, I get it. TSSZ celebrated a 20 year anniversary not that long ago. Some amount of his brain was dedicated to thinking about this website for more than half of his life on this earth. It won’t be easy to let go of something that defined who you are so completely. It isn’t easy for me to let go, and I only came on board in the second half of the site’s lifespan. It must be agony for him to just go cold turkey like this.

But what he’s doing is worse than ignoble, and it has less to do with his clumsy “Sonic would stand with the rioters and fight the cops!” tweets. Let’s not mince words here, it has more to do with the same old trouble he always finds himself in. The same old trouble I tried to rescue him from more than once over my tenure at TSSZ. For being a news guy, Tristan can be really clumsy with his words and communicating his intentions.

But like you said, and like I’ve always said, always always always in my entire twelve year run at TSSZ, his heart is in the right place. He may get heated easily sometimes, he may fumble his words, but man, when the smoke clears and he’s firing on all cylinders, he’s practically a titan.

I talk about how I tried to rescue him? He rescued me more than a few times, too. TSSZ sometimes found itself in questionable circumstances due to some of the “sensitive information” we published, and Tristan was always the rock that protected me from that stuff. “The Blog Sega Doesn’t Want You To Read”? Tristan protected me from people who were trying to get that taken down. When I datamined Sega All-Stars Racing info that was sitting in plain sight? Tristan bent over backwards to make sure the site wasn’t negatively impacted by Sega’s legal threats.

I learned something valuable, and that’s the fact that the news isn’t supposed to be your friend. It’s the news. It’s there to convey information, to convey the truth, even if the truth hurts. People might shake their heads and be like, “If Sega is threatening you with legal action, maybe you're doing something wrong” -- but when it comes to reporting on the news, honestly, that means we were doing something extremely right. (Okay, sure, maybe in retrospect, messing up somebody’s marketing plan is borderline uncool, but there were other examples that my notoriously poor memory is blanking on).

What I’m saying is that when Tristan was in his wheel house, it showed, and there is no one else in the Sonic community like him. He may have stepped on some toes, but it was kind of our job to do that, sometimes.

The problem is when it comes to moments like this. He’s coming off as weird, and aggressive, and he’s missing the point of what people are trying to say. He’s still stepping on toes, but for the wrong reasons. But he used to be, and he should be, better than this. I know he can be.

I hope he still remembers that.

[saltyaro]

topsydead a réagi à votre billet “Arophobia and the ace community: a few bullet points”

I'm alloace. I haven't seen this behavior in other alloaces but it is concerning and I accept the call to action. It's clear that people don't understand the SAM and don't acknowledge aros. What can I do to help?

You probably don’t realize you see it because you’re not the...target? of arophobia, but I would be very surprised if you’ve actually never encountered it! Maybe you’re really lucky.

I’m glad you’re willing to challenge this habit, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to give you concrete advice. I’ll try though.

From my point of view, because ace people are oppressed under our society’s assumption that everyone feels sexual attraction, and are often seen as subhuman because of that, there’s this kinda desperate desire to be seen as still valuable “despite” the lack of sexual attraction. As a result, alloaces kinda rely on their romantic attraction to gain “approval” from other people and society. That’s because romance is seen as the most important thing in people’s lives, so, from an ace’s point of view, it makes sense to...double efforts, to “make up” for the lack of sexual attraction? I think it’s important to first realize “why” amatonormativity and arophobia are so rampant within alloace’s communities. Of course, that it’s something understandable, doesn’t mean it should stay that way. That’s my hypothesis on the matter: not necessarily that the alloaces’ arophobia is stronger than in the general population but rather, that the emphasis on romance and amatonormativity is pushed more obviously. If that makes sense. So, the arophobia is extremely visibly and harmful to us (especially because of our shared spaces).

So yeah that’s the way I do things, I try to understand the systems behind things. This is the first step, now what to do?

I’d say, try to train yourself to recognize the assumptions of romance. Try to do a parallel with the sexual assumptions, the systems are very similar. Not going to lie, this is gonna be difficult, because amatonormativity is very strongly ingrained in us, to the point where we perpetuate it without ill intent. It’s pretty sneaky. For an example, you can take the sentences like “we can still love!” as part of this shit. The concept of soulmates, is another instance (yes, even when people try to argue soulmates can be platonic, doesn’t change anything). Or, the constant invisibilization of aroaces/using them as tokens. Everyone’s different, but as a general way of thinking, it’s pretty disrespectful to assume aroaces prioritize their ace identity and will relate to alloace posts. Idk, I’m not ace (i used to identify as aroace though) so it may not be my place, but back when I was in the ace community, everything just seemed so...focused on being in a romantic relationship while ace. It’s not bad to have these resources, they’re needed, but if your blog/activism focuses on that, then it’s not “ace activism” but “alloace activism”. Nothing wrong with that, just, don’t pretend any ace can relate. Aroaces can’t, and I’m sure a lot of non-Sam aces can’t either. Basically, does the post (or anything of the sort) assume “ace” means “alloace”? If yes, then it’s alienating. 

Those behaviours are also harmful to non-ace aros, of course. Because we’re sibling-communities, and (allo?)aces have more visibility than us. If someone places romance over any other kind of relationship, this is amatonormative. Beware of that, don’t ignore it. Obviously no one can be on edge 24/24 but it would be nice to have some alloaces challenge those thoughts!

Basically, before you can do anything, I think it would be useful to read through some aro blogs! There’s mine of course, but I’m a non-sam aro so it could be cool to also read from aroaces and alloaros. We all have different experiences with the ace community. 

Challenging those thoughts takes a lot of work. Stop putting romance on a pedestal, challenge any relationship hierarchy that pretends to be universal - it’s fine if it’s personal I guess but not if it’s supposed to be the norm - and challenge the very idea that what makes us humans is love. Regardless of the type of love I’d say. 

As another example, when you have an ace character in some kind of media with no explicit romanticism...don’t assume they’re alloace. If you know the content the character it’s from, read critically. Maybe there’s no answer but there often is. I’m thinking Jughead, who’s either non-sam ace or aroace, but without romantic feelings anyway. When shitterdale straightwashed him a lot of people were like “he can still be ace! We can still love!” when...yeah, but he’s supposed to be aro to. The “ace” part wasn’t what we were worried about. Same thing happened with (I think, don’t take my word on that) Raphael from Sh/adow hunte/rs, and again, the alloace community rejoincing for the ace rep. How shitty is it to rejoice over the erasure of an aro character? This second example wasn’t great rep from the start apparently, but yeah. Still an asshole move. I also think it’s important to be critical of how all ace rep either is, or is washed to be, alloace rep. Alloace rep is cool and important, but not at the expense of aroaces. Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that aro characters aren’t made to be alloaros so there’s definitely a double standard. Bo/jack for an example, “became” alloace when a lot of aroaces related to him at first. That’s what he was coded as but the ace community pushed against it and the creator decided to make him allo (probably in good faith!). 

So yeah, maybe try to react when alloaces get angry when people draw pride art and. Draw the ace flag as a single person, because again “ace” doesn’t mean “alloace”. The “ace” community is shared by allo aces, non-sam aces, and aroaces. 

Please be aware if you see di/s/k h/orse things, when ex/clusio/nism is discussed, of the aromantic erasure that always happens. Even when the ex/cl/u mentions aros, the inc/lu’s answer systematically ignores that part. There was this survey last year, on this topic, and it was shown that people who include aces do not necessarily include aros. Of course, I didn’t see any alloace mention that, even though they showed the results to be all “see everyone/most people think(s) we belong!”. Without mentioning that very important and very telling aspect. I would have loved it if an alloace had mentioned it, and had tried to open a discussion about it! But I didn’t see it happen. I know this is a very specific example, but basically, I think what would be nice, would be for some alloaces to stick for us aros whenever something like that happens. I’m not saying to actively look for such things, but if you follow ace blogs, you’re going to see it happen. 

Oh and also, I don’t know what’s your stance on this, so I’m going to write it just in case but. “Aspec” means aro + ace. It comprehends everyone: non-sam aro, non-sam aces, aroaces, allo aros, and allo aces. It’s not the same as “acespec”! It’s really erasing us aros whenever someone uses “aspec” to mean “acespec”, it’s alienating us from our own community. There’s the aro community, the ace community for our specific, different needs, but the aspec community is supposed to be our shared community so. Definitely “call out” (by that I mean comment on) people who do that! They may not have bad intents but the result is still here, and it’s just. Spreading everyday, and pushing aros further under the bus.

So yeah all it boils down to is, try and comment/reblog posts that antagonize us? Within the limits of your energy and mental health of course. And maybe try to spread knowledge about what amatonormativity is (I have a tag but you can also google it, there’s an easy to find definition), why it’s harmful, and how it operated, within the ace community. As an alloace, maybe you’ll get more attention than aros (whether we’re also ace or not, people don’t listen to us). I personally think it would benefit everyone (including alloaces) to get rid of amatonormativity but for now, pointing it out - whether for yourself or in a more public manner - should be a good beginning. 

I...hope this answers your question? 

[edorazzi]

some thoughts on the Felix Thing™:

(as a warning ahead of time, i am going to be very rude about astruc. i don’t talk about him on this blog any more if i can help it because i’m just not interested in inviting that kind of drama, but i can’t really discuss my thoughts about the felix situation without being transparent in this area too. i also apologise to anyone on mobile because i’m pretty sure read-mores still open on the dash there and this is a CHUNK of messy writing)

- all we know currently is that It’s Happening, but without more than a brief plot synopsis it’s impossible to tell any more. where on earth did this come from? whose idea was it? the Who’s Responsible question is really baffling me.

- option 1: it was astruc’s call. he’s notoriously petty when it comes to the fandom and known for putting little things into episodes which purposely degrade characters/ships and undo development from other writers (e.g. admitting to adding the final scene of Despair Bear in which chloé totally rejects all her positive character development because she ‘just can’t stand being nice’). this considered, i absolutely would not put it past him to introduce felix to the cast with the sole purpose of framing him as an irredeemable villain, just because he still hasn’t gotten over the PV fandom existing.

- however, lots of people have been pointing out that astruc specifically said felix would never be in the show. that was literally the one thing he held over the heads of PV fans - that no matter how much we enjoyed the old project, it was over and done with and we’d never be seeing its characters among the canon cast. he was intensely smug about it. adding felix to the show completely scuppers this stance, so why would he choose to do it? has he decided the satisfaction of tearing him apart in canon is greater? has he finally completely lost it? i’m not sure.

- then we come to option 2: it’s zag’s call. this is what i hope. we know zag is fond of the PV (and likely had a big hand in creating it) and eager to appeal to fans, so i’d definitely believe he would pick up on felix’s long-lasting popularity and jump on the idea of adding him to the show as one of adrien’s relatives. VLD did it with sven as a little shout-out to old fans and it was great! we’ve also already had a little PV easter egg in the form of a dvd in alya’s home, which did make me hopeful that the show was open to referencing it more than once. maybe this is that hope fulfilled in an amazing way! maybe!!!

- a good chunk of me is still deeply suspicious of felix getting into the cast because i’m sure astruc would have had to give the OK (and why would he have agreed to it unless he’s got something unpleasant in mind?), but i remember how much of an obvious fight he put up against chloé getting a miraculous and joining the team, even flat-out stating at one point that she wouldn’t have one, and that still happened. this tempts me towards thinking that if zag really wants something for the show then astruc can’t do much to stop it, and that might be the case with felix, if we’re lucky.

- i really want to know who the writers are for this episode, too. zag and his team are most frequently found in the credits of Adrien Episodes (which it sounds like this is going to be, given felix is a relative), which tend to be the episodes that contain actual character-building, plot progression and give the stagnant show formula a little shake. astruc’s usual episodes are just 20 minutes of marinette with a few backup characters as cardboard cutouts/praise machines. it’s conceivable he’d want to be lead writer just to do as much damage to felix as possible if he has to appear, but he might just duck out of the episode altogether as he’s prone to doing whenever it has to be about adrien. that would be a blessing.

- at any rate, i just generally think it’s really goddamn unfair that we have to be so suspicious about this. if this is supposed to be a nice shout-out to a long-lasting group of fans then it’s unfair that we have to wait months completely uncertain of whether we’re being blessed or made fun of, just because astruc has been such a goddamn tool about this topic for literally years. his reputation is so sour by now that we automatically assume he’s out to get us when this could be intended as something amazing - like fuck, man. that’s sad.

- ANYWAY. in terms of the actual episode itself, i’m excited for it either way. we’re going to see felix! he’s going to have a character model and a voice and a place in the canon universe! even if astruc does his absolute best to rip his character to shreds he can’t do worse than lila and chloé, and even they have their groups of fans because their insecurities are clear and sometimes they’re just so awful it’s funny. i’d gladly accept felix as my little brat cat, if only to piss astruc off by actually enjoying what’s put out as the New Established Canon.

- however, if it IS a better writer handling it (help me mr zag ur my only ho), i want to have faith they’ll draw more from felix’s source material as someone who’s completely socially maladjusted - maybe gabriel is actually the softer side of the family? - and needs adrien to drag him out of his shell. i gather from the synopsis that he’ll manage to piss off alya, rose and juleka, but just because that sounds like a villainous thing to do doesn’t mean felix himself will be a villain (i mean i’m sure he will if astruc has anything to do with it, but just looking from all possible angles--). marinette’s pissed people off to the point of akumatization before and she’s our resident in-house angel!

- i also have to consider wayhem in Gorizilla - this episode was clearly written in two halves, and he was set up by astruc to, essentially, illustrate why marinette’s “stalker tendencies” were completely fine because adrien’s other fans could get so much worse. in the latter half of the episode wayhem is redeemed extremely effectively and actually ends up better than marinette (if you’re making it a contest) in understanding why his approach made adrien uncomfortable and having the confidence to apologise. he was a character set up for failure who got saved at the last minute when (it seems) another writer took the reins, so maybe there’s hope in that for felix too.

- anyway, above all, i checked the notes of my previous post and the amount of people reacting with “OH MY GOD!!!” or “AAAAAH!!!!” and various other happy things made me realise just how much of a positive effect this episode could have on the fandom if it’s done right. it’s not (entirely) about felix as a character - it’s about our little corner of fandom being recognised and taken seriously, and the confirmation that, after all this time, we were right not to let astruc bully us out of enjoying something we love.

- if it does turn out to be a whole episode making fun of PV fans, however, that crosses the line of absolutely unforgivable. astruc will have straight-up nuked any popularity he has left among fans. i don’t want to believe that’s the case, but i will be staying appropriately wary for as long as it takes to get some confirmation on what this episode is intended to be.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[lemonaderaid]

hufflepuff-rave, abuse, and the missing husband thing: from her ex friend’s point of view

this is about whole “abusive wife”/”missing husband” situation, and what i know about mel (dillon’s abuser and wife) through being her close friend for 5+ years. it’s a long post, so there’s your warning.

here’s another ample content warning for abuse, misgendering, gaslighting, and general...drama? i guess? here we go kiddos!

after this post, particularly with this reblog went pretty viral both on here and on facebook recently, i figured it was my time to step up along with my friend, @jackstoney , and personally come out in support of all of the abuse accusations that have been made against mel, as i was one of her closest friends for 5+ years.

as jack did in his post, i’m simply going to be referring to her as “mel” because i would prefer that she NOT get stalked, harassed, doxxed, etc. as i said, i used to be her friend, and thus i still do have some regard for her and her mom’s personal safety and privacy despite the fact that they’re bad people.

to make my stance on dillon himself quite clear from the outset, i was always fed really varying information about him from mel herself. as exhibited by her blog, if you go and search “dillon” and scroll back a bit far, you’ll see that she has wildly varying, black and white perspectives about him. that’s how it was when we talked, and that’s how she is about seemingly everyone; particularly her ex boyfriends. if you search “brayden” or “jackson” on her blog, you’ll get pretty similar posts. the point is that i don’t know what’s true or false about dillon’s life and personality, i just know the information she’s told me or that i’ve seen on her facebook or tumblr. as i said, we were friends for 5 years, and i knew her before she ever met dillon.

as jack explains pretty sufficiently in his post, which i linked above, mel has a very obsessive, very clingy and overbearing personality, and a high probability of mental illness associated with the drastic lengths she’ll go to to keep someone trapped in really any kind of relationship with her. THIS IS NOT INHERENTLY A BAD THING. i’m not a professional, and i won’t make an armchair diagnosis based on what i know about her, but i will say that she’s never mentioned to me anything about trying to improve and work beyond her numerous issues. (unlike how she is presently trying to pin a schizophrenia diagnosis on dillon after only speaking on the phone to a doctor herself, ONCE.)

i felt this way when i was friends with her, very much so. this sideblog of hers, particularly these three posts (1 , 2 , 3) are about me, and the fact that, while we were friends, i decided to do matching icons with my still-current boyfriend on facebook. this happened on a couple of occasions because we found neat looking icons and, since we were, yknow, partners, we figured it’d be cool to match for a couple weeks. as you can see by the posts i linked, mel didn’t like this. at all

here’s another sideblog of hers that she made for dillon to post about her...let’s just call it unhealthy obsession, as shown pretty well by this particular tag. WARNING: some very nsfw stuff is on here

here are a few texts i have from her to me talking about how, despite having NEVER ONCE spoken to my boyfriend and actively refusing to talk to him even though i said i’d like them to meet, she’s extremely “possessive” of me

little unimportant note: she refers to herself as kyle and me as stan because she was really into south park, and she saw those two characters as having a similar relationship to ours

coming from a person who has bpd (me), this all, to me, rings very familiar and relatable bells in my head. keep in mind i’m not accusing her of having it, but coming from someone who is very overprotective of their friends and datemate(s) (frank and i are poly), this all sounds like the reasoning my brain tries to do with itself when anyone befriends a person who gives me “bad vibes”. the thing is that i don’t actively silence my friends or whoever from talking about a person that makes them happy just because of the fact i don’t know them. this is something she NEVER tried to avoid doing. she was always upfront with me about how much frank unnerved her, despite never meeting them and ignoring their attempts to try and assure her that they weren’t trying to take me away.

the following screenshots are about the decision jack made to break up with her shortly after he’d gone back to california to try and look for a job (his post has more necessary context, but the idea is that he was basically trying to make more efforts to get his life to be stable and not go completely broke, and needed to break up with her seeing as her clinginess made him incredibly worn out).

unfortunately, i don’t have that message i sent to the group chat anymore, and i’m afraid i don’t remember what i said, but i know it was a pretty long message about how her coping methods to get over jack (i.e.; getting back with dillon) wasn’t actually helping her and i could see her mental state going to shit

now would also probably be a good time to mention some of the other things she’s done, but i don’t deem to be as relevant to this particular situation such as purposefully misgendering me (using the wrong pronouns, calling me her “sister”, making and getting me heavily gendered gifts she knew i was uncomfortable with), and frequently trying to make people stop talking about their interests and focus on ONLY hers instead, at all times. i do have screenshots of one particular instance of this, but this post is long enough and i feel that those complaints about her character would detract from the main point

long story short, as i’m sure you all are confidently aware at this point, mel is a horrible, manipulative, abusive, and toxic person and SHOULD be avoided at all costs. though I myself am concerned for dillon’s safety at the moment, as no one’s really quite sure where he is, I think that ultimately he would’ve been more unsafe if he stayed with her, judging by these screenshots of his brother’s comment on mel’s facebook post:

EDIT: i forgot to blur out his brother’s name when i originally posted this, and an anon pointed out to me that i probably should, so i did! please respect dillon’s family’s privacy!

i’m very happy that dillon chose to try and run and escape. i’m concerned for his safety right now but i hope he turns up soon, safe and sound, and away from mel forever.

i’d like to personally apologize to dillon, if he ever ends up reading this post somehow, for being extremely judgmental and distrustful of him because of the information mel was feeding me. i don’t know how much of it is true or untrue, but despite everything, i hope you find peace wherever you choose to go. i’m happy you got out. i’m proud of you, i’m proud of jack, i’m proud of myself, and i’m proud of anyone who chooses to break away from an abuser to start over. it’s hard, but you can fucking do it.

if you ever see this, please feel free to get in touch with me if you need help. i’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot, if you even knew very much about my existence to begin with; but i sincerely hope you’re doing alright now. -bre

oh yeah, and to mel,

fuck you.

in closing, i’m gonna leave you with the final message i sent to mel to cut off our friendship, cuz i feel like it might end up helping someone going through a hard time with their abuser? idk, but i can always hope. here it is

[the-desolated-quill]

Doctor Strange - Marvel Cinematic Universe blog (as requested by 1000+ followers)

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this movie yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Before I start, I just want to say thank you again to all one thousand of my followers (still can’t believe it. That number just doesn’t seem real. LOL). And, as promised, here’s my review of Doctor Strange. I chose to review this movie to mark getting one thousand followers because people have been wanting me to do this review for a long time now (nearly three years in fact) and also because it was this movie, or rather my harsh criticism of this movie, that arguably cemented my reputation on this site. So here we go. Hope you feel it was worth the wait. Enjoy :)

2016. A year of ups and downs to be sure. While it will forever be infamous for the Brexit referendum result, Trump’s victory in the presidential elections and many much beloved celebrity icons dropping dead like fruit flies, it was also the year where two of my all time favourite comic book characters would finally make the jump to the big screen. The first was Deadpool. The second was Doctor Strange. Two characters I thought would never get movie adaptations on account of them both being somewhat niche products. Deadpool was a violent, anarchic parody of antiheroes like Wolverine and the Punisher, while Doctor Strange was a psychedelic fantasy story focused on existentialism and Zen philosophy as well as having its themes and influences deep rooted in various Asian cultures and mythologies. Not exactly mainstream. And yet, against all the odds, both movies found great success at the box office. The difference being Deadpool managed to stay true to the tone and themes of the source material, whereas Doctor Strange... oh dear.

Now my long term followers will be very much aware of my stance on this movie. At the time I refused to watch it due to the casting of Tilda Swinton as the Ancient One, viewing it as not only racist erasure, but also demonstrating a severe lack of understanding on the filmmaker’s part. East Asia isn’t just used as window dressing. It’s vitally important to the story as a whole, so discarding it would be incredibly moronic as well as deeply offensive. Now I’m not going to go into all the reasons why the whitewashing of the Ancient One is racist and why all the excuses Marvel gave at the time was bullshit as I’ve already explained these reasons ad nauseum various times before. If you’re curious, read Doctor Yellowface And The Bullshit Machine, where I explain it all in excruciating detail. Here I’m just going to say that this movie is racist. That’s not my opinion. It’s demonstrably, objectively, scientifically, factually and literally true. If you think otherwise, you’re an idiot. Period. Full stop. End of discussion. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. With this in mind, when I sat down to watch this for the first time, I expected to be angered and outraged by it throughout. But I wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a bad movie and a bad adaptation of Doctor Strange, but honestly the most remarkable thing about this movie is how unremarkable it is. Which is a problem in more ways than one, but now we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Lets start with the things I liked. Don’t worry. This won’t take long. There really isn’t that much to like about this film frankly. Even the bits I like have massive caveats to them.

My first shiny gold star has to go to Benedict Wong as Wong. Now as much as I love the comics, I’ll be the first to admit it has massive problems when it comes to how it presents Asian characters. So I’m pleased to report that Wong is the only aspect of the film that’s actually better than the source material. Whereas comic book Wong was Doctor Strange’s manservant, movie Wong plays more of a mentor role in Strange’s story. He’s the librarian of Kamar-Taj, guarding the sacred tomes, and is actually at a higher rank than Strange, which I love. It’s a good shift that refreshes the dynamic between them, and Benedict Wong’s deadpan delivery is exceptional. I just wish we could have spent more time with Wong and Strange. Maybe see Wong actually teach him something.

The second praiseworthy element of the film is the visual effects. This film was nominated for an Academy Award and... yeah, can’t argue with that. The CGI is fairly good for the most part. My favourite part of the whole film was when the Ancient One shows Strange the multiverse for the first time. The visual effects team clearly had a lot of fun coming up with weird and wonderful worlds that we only get a short tantalising glimpse of. (the dimension of hands gave me the shivers). This sequence came the closest to realising Steve Ditko’s vision in my opinion. Beyond that all we see for the rest of the movie is the poxy mirror dimension, which admittedly is cool at first, but quickly becomes dull and repetitive each time its trotted out. There’s even an entire fight sequence between Strange, Mordo and Kaecilius in a distorted version of New York, which would have been impressive if Christopher Nolan hadn’t done it first in Inception. And the less said about the technicolor monstrosity that was the Dark Dimension, the better.

Finally there’s Benedict Cumberbatch as Strange himself. I know some people were disappointed that Marvel didn’t racebend the character and I would have preferred that to, but if we must have a white guy in the role, I’m glad it’s Cumberbatch. He does a decent job in the role and there are moments where Strange almost leaps from the page and onto the screen.

Almost.

Because that’s the problem. Cumberbatch does the best he can, but he’s ultimately let down by the script. This film has a lot of issues, but by far the biggest is the title character. He may be called Doctor Strange, but he’s really Doctor Strange in name only. I was a massive fan of the comics growing up and I’m telling you this guy isn’t Doctor Strange. At least not the Doctor Strange I remember. And the weird thing is this seems almost by design. In order to show him to a mainstream audience, Marvel seem to have felt the need to completely sanitise the character, removing everything about him that made him unique and interesting in order to fit the expectations of the lowest common denominator.

Let me explain.

People often compare Strange unfavourably to Iron Man, and I can understand why to a certain extent. Both represent the epitome of white privilege and materialist obsession and their origin stories focus very heavily on criticising and deconstructing these inherently selfish and unlikable characters. Iron Man is about forcing a capitalist industrialist to take responsibility for the consequences of his actions, whereas Doctor Strange is about forcing an egocentric man to care about the wider world outside of his own bubble of privilege. Both may sound similar, but there’s a key difference between the two. Iron Man’s origin revolves around responsibility whereas Doctor Strange’s origin revolves around relativity. This needs to be understood if you’re going to attempt to adapt Strange and director Scott Derrickson doesn’t seem to understand that at all.

The fatal mistake Derrickson makes with this movie is that he’s trying to make Strange like Iron Man without fully understanding what made the first Iron Man movie good and what sets Strange apart. He’s clearly hit upon the arrogant, egocentric thing, but the problem is people exhibit arrogance and egocentricity in different ways. The comics understood this. Iron Man’s arrogance takes the form of this charismatic, devil may care kind of attitude, whereas Strange’s arrogance was more along the lines of an Ebenezer Scrooge type figure. Someone who’s cold and uncaring. Someone like...

Yeah! Someone like Dr Gregory House from the TV series House M.D.

See, if Iron Man is like Elon Musk, Doctor Strange is like House. Both are arrogant, but in different ways. So to see movie Strange acting all smug and making quips and one liners just didn’t feel right. Which is not to say Strange can’t be funny. The comics had their humorous moments, but it’s not the same kind of humour as Iron Man. Strange should be more cutting. More snarky. He needs to have more of a bite to him. Instead we get the poor man’s version of Robert Downey Jr.

But wait, because it’s actually worse than that. It’s not just Strange’s personality that’s different. Our perception of him is different too. The first Iron Man movie was extremely clear in how we should view Tony Stark. The gambling, the drinking, his lack of responsibility and the way he takes his friends and co-workers for granted. We’re clearly not supposed to like him. That’s why his character arc works. We’re seeing this selfish individual realise how selfish he is and try to make amends. Strange should be similar. He’s a callous arsehole who won’t lift a finger to help someone if the case isn’t interesting enough, seeing it as beneath him. So when the car accident occurs, him getting nerve damage in his hands feels less like a tragedy and more like karma. The universe punishing Strange for his selfish behaviour and forcing him to change. In the movie however, he doesn’t seem like that at all. In fact kind of the opposite. He doesn’t object to helping his ex girlfriend get a bullet out of a patient’s head and he seems to get on well with most of his colleagues, including his ex. Sure he’s a bit of a dick, but he still seems nice enough. The only time we see his Scroogeness come out is after the accident, at which point it’s hard to hate him even after he berates his ex because he’s a decent guy who’s understandably frustrated, which absolutely should not be the case. Strange is a bastard who cares for no one but himself. We’re not supposed to like him. But Marvel and Disney are so preoccupied about getting bums on seats that they’ve actually managed to strip away all the elements that make Strange Strange.

And then there’s the origin story itself, which the film gets completely wrong. Sure the basic elements are still there. Strange, in a last ditch effort to save his hands, travels East to see the Ancient One (except the Ancient One is now in Nepal instead of Tibet because of the Chinese market, but apparently they still can’t cast an Asian person as the Ancient One even though the film no longer has anything to do with Tibet and therefore there should be no issue. Marvel are racist dicks. Case closed), but beyond that everything is changed. In the comics, the Ancient One refuses to heal Strange’s hands because he’s a selfish arsehole who deserves no pity or help from anyone, but then when Baron Mordo tries to assassinate the Ancient One, Strange does the first selfless thing he’s ever done in his miserable life and tries to warn the Ancient One despite having his mouth magically sealed shut by Mordo. Then it’s later revealed that his mouth wasn’t sealed shut at all, and that the Ancient One knew all along Mordo was planning to assassinate him and was merely testing Strange, at which point he invites the good doctor to practice magic in order to stop Mordo in the future. In the movie however, Strange gets kicked out by the Ancient One only to then promptly get let back in after banging on their front door for several hours and gets taught all these spells despite showing no sign of selflessness or willingness to change whatsoever. Oh yeah, and Strange and Mordo are now total besties.

Do you see what I mean about this being a bad adaptation? There’s no longer any conflict. No character arcs. No one learns anything. Everything is just hunky dory and Strange is just magically a good person now. This is truly shit writing.

Everything about this movie seems to have been designed to be as bland and uncomplicated as possible. All the Asian influences and philosophies have been surgically removed to make way for a generic, knock-off Hogwarts for Dummies. The interesting plots and themes have been replaced with a by-the-numbers save the world plot. Even the lore has been simplified to an almost insulting degree. Take the Eye of Agamotto for instance. A powerful magical artefact created by and named after the most powerful sorcerer that ever lived.... reduced to a fucking Infinity Stone.

Oh and the Cloak of Levitation now has a mind and personality of its own because why the fuck not? Who wants to watch something intelligent or philosophical? Lets just make a shitty cross between Harry Potter and Mr. Bean.

And then... there’s the white saviour stuff.

Now I confess I haven’t read the comics for quite some time, so correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure Strange didn’t have a photographic memory. Yet in the movie, that’s the convenient explanation we’re given for why Strange is somehow able to learn complex spells in a matter of days. Spells that are apparently meant to take years to learn, like astral projection and time manipulation. Now the comics had this problem too, what with proclaiming that Strange is not only the Sorcerer Supreme, but the most powerful Sorcerer Supreme that’s ever lived, as though his white skin were like the star power-up from Super Mario Bros, but the movie seems to go out of its way to double down on this bollocks. Oh sure, we see him struggle to create magic portals every now and then, but it doesn’t hide the fact that he’s somehow able to create mirror worlds and time loops despite having little to no training whatsoever. He’s like Rey from Star Wars. He can just pull any random super power out of his arse when the script requires him too.

So having completely botched Strange’s characterisation and journey, how are the rest of the supporting cast? Well like I said, I like this new Wong, even though he’s criminally underused. As for the other characters, it’s a pretty forgettable bunch.

Lets start with the elephant in the room. Tilda Swinton. Having heard all the excuses under the sun as to why Marvel and Disney simply had to cast a bald white woman wearing a bathrobe in an Asian role, I was expecting something pretty spectacular from Swinton, especially after all the praise critics gave her. Instead we get... well... a pretty dull character actually. In fact I’d go as far to say that this is the blandest and most uninspired performance I think I’ve ever seen Swinton give. There’s just nothing there. Now admittedly the Ancient One wasn’t all that complex or well developed in the comics neither, being little more than a racial caricature, but I thought the whole reason they whitewashed the character was to make him/her ‘enigmatic and ethereal.’ Instead we just get the same generic mentor figure we’ve seen dozens of times before. All the stuff about her tapping into the powers of Dormammu to increase her lifespan could have made her more interesting, but the film never fully capitalises on this revelation before she kicks the bucket.

Baron Mordo is pretty much just dead weight, with the great Chiwetel Ejiofor utterly wasted in the role. He’s essentially reduced to being yet another black sidekick for the white lead. Again, the comic book version isn’t all that great neither, but the movie replaces this camp pantomime villain with absolutely bugger all. We don’t get to see any real conflict between him and Strange until the very end and even then it doesn’t really make sense. Mordo is a stickler for rules and so gets pissy with Strange when he breaks the rules in order to save the world, to which I can only ask... what else could he have done? I didn’t see you come up with any bright ideas Mordo, you fucking moron.

Rachel McAdams... exists.

Seriously, why is she in this movie? Why does Doctor Strange need a love interest? Why not just wait and introduce Clea? I could get behind using an ex girlfriend to display how selfish and narcissistic Strange is (a bit cliche I admit, but this is an MCU film we’re talking about. I’m not exactly expecting Citizen Kane here), but as I said before, the two seem to get on quite well. And other than stitching up a stab wound, Christine Palmer pretty much does nothing throughout the majority of the film. So what is she even doing there?

Also it appears the film’s racism doesn’t just extend to Asian people because it turns out Christine Palmer is actually Night Nurse in the comics. The same mantle Claire Temple has, who appears in Marvel’s Netflix shows. Not only does this come off as quite alarmingly racist, it’s also just plain weird. For all their boasts about wanting to create a shared universe, Marvel seems to spend every opportunity it can find to keep the Netflix stuff at arms’ length, to the point where you question why they’re even in the same continuity in the first place. If Strange must have some human connection, why couldn’t it have been Claire Temple? For one thing, Claire’s character is much more interesting than Christine’s (and Rosario Dawson is a much better actor than McAdams. Sorry, but it’s true), and it would be a great opportunity to bridge the gap between the movies and Netflix shows without having to bog the narrative down with exposition. But as I’ve said numerous times in the past, Marvel are more interested in creating a BIG shared universe than a coherent one.

Finally there’s the villains. Nearly always the worst aspect of any MCU film and Strange is no different. We have Kaecilius, played by Hannibal’s Mads Mikkelsen whose performance is more wooden than Pinocchio, and Dormammu, played by Benedict Cumberbatch who seems to be competing with Andy Serkis as to who can play the most CGI/motion capture characters. Both, unsurprisingly, are shite. Kaecilius wants to save the world from death by allowing Dormammu to destroy it.

I don’t get it either.

So you’re probably wondering who was Kaecilius in the comics. I mean I’ve explained everything else, haven’t I? And honestly, I haven’t the faintest idea. Turns out he was a henchman of Baron Mordo who I completely forgot about because he barely ever shows up in the comics. So... they turned Baron Mordo into the black sidekick so that the villain could be played by a white guy. Oh. And guess what race Kaecilius is in the comics.

YYYYYep. He’s Asian. I guess all the Asian actors were sick that day, so they had to cast a white guy.

Oh and you’ll never guess what his backstory is. You’re right! He has none! Other than references to some tragedy, we know absolutely fuck all about him. Critics actually liked this movie?!?!

Oh and don’t get me started on the humour.

Kaecilius: “Mr...?”

Strange: “Doctor.”

Kaecilius: “Mr. Doctor?”

Strange: “No, it’s Strange.”

Kaecilius: “I guess so. Who am I to judge?”

Dear God, someone was paid to write that.

Then there’s the Big Bad Dormammu from the Dark Dimension. (Yes, the same Dark Dimension from Agent Carter and nope, that’s never referenced. In fact this doesn’t even look like the same Dark Dimension as the one from Agent Carter. Although, to be fair, I’d want to forget Season 2 happened as well considering how fucking terrible it was, but come on guys!). In the comics Dormammu is a mystical entity that has a quote ‘unnatural obsession with our material universe’. Could be interesting to explore. Oh but I forget, this is an MCU film. They don’t want interesting. They want safe. So instead we get a purple, floating CGI head and the generic destroyer of worlds archetype. (In fact Dormammu weirdly has more in common with Galactus than the actual Dormammu. Sometimes I wonder if anyone at Marvel Studios have ever even so much as glanced at one of their own comics before).

In conclusion, is this the worst film I’ve ever seen? Admittedly no. It’s not that bad. If you switch your brain off, I can imagine someone having a good time with this film. But you see that’s the problem. You shouldn’t have to switch your brain off to enjoy Doctor Strange. If anything the opposite is true. The comics, despite their faults, were intelligent, surreal and thought provoking, asking questions about our universe and our place within it. Steve Ditko (and only Steve Ditko. The late Stan Lee may have put pen to paper, but it was ultimately Ditko’s ideas and vision, which makes the gratuitous Stan Lee cameo in this film particularly galling to me) created something truly captivating in Doctor Strange. Despite the racial caricatures and white saviour tropes, I still love these comics because of how it explores the world and our relation to that world. How we are just small cogs in a massive and intricate machine. It’s truly groundbreaking and would influence many other comics to come. The Doctor Strange movie doesn’t even begin to do that. It won’t influence anyone. It won’t make anyone think or question their role in the cosmos. In fact, three years later, despite being a huge box office success, it’s largely been forgotten. And that’s a crying shame because Strange deserves so much more.

Doctor Strange may not be the worst comic book movie ever made, but it’s a terrible adaptation of the source material. Anything that made it unique or interesting was carefully removed with surgical precision under the guise of making it more progressive, when in reality they just wanted to make it profitable. But profitable doesn’t mean good, and Doctor Strange doesn’t even come close to being a good movie. I would love to have seen what a director like David Lynch or Ang Lee would have done with this psychedelic material. This movie could and should have been the most intelligent and surreal comic book movie that’s ever been made. A perfect opportunity to allow a visionary filmmaker to go wild and express themselves artistically. Instead it’s just another MCU movie. It’s such a shame.

And people wonder why I’m worried about Deadpool joining the MCU.

[pickledchickenetti]

(pt 1) I'm a woman and am happily married to another woman and I don't understand why everyone was so upset at Krista. She openly supports marriage equality and has defended it. She has close LGBT friends (I know having black friends doesn't make you not racist but in my experience people that have been opposed to my sexual orientation stop being friends with me) and advocates for LGBT persons to be included in the church and conservatives to accept us.

Hi friend, thanks for your thoughts! I don’t know your background, so I hope that my answer doesn’t come across as condescending or rude as that is certainly not my intention. My opinions on Krista’s stance on gay issues are strongly colored by my experiences, which I have no problem admitting. I’m sure plenty of other LGBT folks have different feelings, which is totally fine. For what it’s worth, I saw more people upset with Krista over her posts about abuse victims not remarrying after a divorce than I have over any of the LGBT posts she’s made, but I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t regularly made critical comments about her LGBT posts/stances here. 

In order to be fair to her, I decided to go back through her blog (on Tumblr, not her other blog) and re-read her posts on gay issues in order to make sure that I’m not taking other people’s comments about her or vague memories I have of old posts and projecting my own frustrations with other conservative Christians’ opinions onto Krista.. I’m going to do my best to source anything I reference via links to that post, but I apologize if I miss anything. 

I will also be focusing on issues regarding people who are sexually attracted to the same sex (using the blanket term of “gay”, which also represents bi/pan/etc.) for this post. I am cis myself, and your question references your same-sex relationship and family, so in this case it feels appropriate to stay in my lane and not offer opinions on a cis person’s stances on gender issues as another cis person. I do not mean to exclude gender nonconforming people from the overall LGBT community in any way. 

The oldest about posts I can find from Krista about anything gay-related are anons asking her opinions. I’m fairly sure that this is the first one, where she essentially gives a fairly neutral action that could be interpreted as “I don’t think being gay sends you to hell” or as “I think gay people can go to heaven too as long as they repent of that sin along with the others”. She does not make it clear what her opinion on same-sex attraction specifically is, as another anon then pointed out in this post. Does her tone in addressing the anon bother me? Yes. Does she have the right to call out people she feels are being rude to her? Also yes. 

Early on in the post she says “First, you missed out on a lot of people. It’s actually LGBTQIAAP.” (likely referencing the anon saying LGBTQIA), and it’s just a personal pet peeve of mine for straight people to try to act like they have any authority on things like the acronym, but I realize that that’s just me and she also has no way of knowing the anon’s sexuality so perhaps it was one straight person (sarcastically) informing another straight person of a perceived shortcoming. Perhaps not. She then goes on to defend her refusal to give a “straightforward answer” by, in my opinion, continuing to dodge the question. 

Further down she brags that she “was actually named best advocate at a national moot court competition this past year arguing that Title VII protects against sexual orientation discrimination”. Now maybe I’m wrong, but it’s my understanding that moot courts aren’t typically events where you’re expected to defend your own personal beliefs, but events where you are assigned a stance and have to argue it regardless of what you believe. If that’s the case, mentioning that is irrelevant. If it is not the case and she was able to choose that stance, bragging about it for some sort of ally point is, in my opinion, arrogant. 

She ends the post by saying that her LGBT friends “are entitled to all of the rights, privileges, and safeties that I enjoy as a straight woman. Who you love and who you’re attracted to does not change your place in society or the rights that you have or opportunities you should be able to pursue.” Sure, your sexual orientation SHOULDN’T change your place in society or your rights, but it DOES. It absolutely does, and to say that LGBT folks are entitled to the same rights as straight women is, at best, misguided. Krista is a lawyer who has, in theory, interacted with multiple members of the LGBT community, so she should realize that regardless of what should or shouldn’t be true, LGBT still DON’T have the same rights as her in many states, and even in states where legally we have the same rights we still live with fears she will never experience. 

As for the claim that Krista is “not only tolerant of my family but accepting” and that she “accepts me and defends my rights”, here are my thoughts. I don’t want to be tolerated. If you’re cool with just being tolerated then more power to you, but as someone who is merely tolerated by a number of Christians, it really hurts and feels extremely de-humanizing. I do feel that “tolerates” is an accurate word for Krista’s stances on gay people (with the possible exception of the gay friends she claims to have). I do not feel that Krista “defends” gay people and our families beyond her belief that she is legally obligated to uphold the law. She has said that she is “totally fine with gay couples adopting”, which is a positive. She has also said she feels families with same-sex couples should be treated like “any other couple”, which again, is a positive. I guess I just don’t feel like that’s the same as defending. She recently admitted that she has never voted for a Democrat, and while I understand why someone from Vermont might see third-party candidates as viable (because in many Vermont races they are), she has to realize that voting third-party for president is throwing away your vote in the current political climate. Beyond voting, what is she actually DOING to “defend” gay people? Nothing she has ever said makes me think she’s using her privilege to truly defend us to her conservative Christian circles. Unless proven otherwise, I can’t help but feel that she’s able to talk a (vague) big game about being supportive without actually doing any supporting. 

I have recently said that it is my belief that she thinks gay sex/acting on same-sex attractions is sinful, even if our marriages should be legal. I will admit that I formed that opinion largely based on a private conversation I had with her, and which I will not share publicly without her permission. In going through old posts, I came across this post, which I feel also supports this opinion. An anon says that they can’t see any good qualities to overcome “when the thing they disagree with is gay rights/gay marriage/that being gay is a sin”, and that they’d “say the same about someone who identified as a Nazi or a white supremacist”. In Krista’s response, she literally says “But, by the same token, you and I are talking right now, and hopefully, I’m not reminding you of a Nazi”. That statement seems to imply that she falls into at least one of those categories or else why would she remind the anon of a Nazi? In another post she also says that “I do believe that all people are responsible for their sexual BEHAVIOR”, which seems to imply that there is something sinful about sexual behavior between people of the same sex. 

If we want to get down to it, this is the post that was the cause of my initial feeling that Krista was not a safe person for gay people. If someone asks you if you think being LGBTQ+ is a sin and your answer is to tell them they are trying to “stir division”, it is only fair to assume that you think they won’t like your answer. If I ask someone their belief on that subject, I am asking because I want to know their opinion. This anon echoes the same sentiment. If she’s really worried about “stirring division” she should have just ignored the question. 

To anyone still reading at this point, thanks for sticking it out with me. Honestly Krista’s recent posts (paired with some events in my life offline) have really got me thinking, and I have a lot of things weighing on me. I’m glad that you are able to feel that as long as she believes you deserve the same rights as she does it’s fine. I hope you continue to feel safe in that. Unfortunately, many of us aren’t that lucky. Many of us have lived too much of our lives feeling disgusting and broken and worthless because of teachings that that same God she worships and we were brought up to worship disapproves not only of any relationships we have, but of an inherent part of who we are. The biggest reason that I continue to speak out against Krista’s posts is because I just need any scared or confused young gay teenagers in the church to know that they don’t have to settle for being tolerated, and no matter who thinks they’re sinning, they’re not. 

Krista’s posts (in the context of the rest of the blog) would have devastated me at one time in my life. When I speak out against them, I’m usually saying the sorts of things I wish someone would have said to me then.

[storytimewithcort]

The Day After The Ball

Fandom: Marvel, MCU

Summary: The morning directly after my The Royal Ball fic. It is essentially The Royal Ball part 2.

Pairing: Loki x Reader(lady Asgardian Reader)

Warnings: None

A/n: Honestly, some other fanfic authors are freaking out because of tumblr's mess, while some don't seem bothered at all (I totally feel for those who feel more negatively impacted and I want to send them all love and support). I, for one, am willing to have wonky searches and some dismal views for a while if it means that someone is finally working to stop all of those pedophile blogs and porn bots. I just have to have faith that the folks who follow me will still get to read this and I hope they enjoy. And hopefully tumblr doesn't burn up to a crisp over night. 💚

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The morning after the royal ball was a tough one. You awoke as early as your body would let you, having very little sleep during the night, only to be later than you should have been. While most of Asgard was able to stay at home, nursing hang-overs or nuzzling companions, Odin had scheduled his warriors in training to all meet for sparring under his watch the morning after the ball. Something about 'an invasion doesn't wait for an opportune time from those they are invading'. It made sense to you, but unfortunately you could tell by the amount of light already outside that you needed to run to even make it to the courtyard in time. You managed to drag your limbs out of bed and get the appropriate gear together through your exhaustion and jolted out of the room.

You normally would appreciate the warm sun shining down through the trees surrounding the courtyard, but you didn't have time to even register it as you trot up to the gathering of others.

"You look lousy." Fandral commented as you huffed into line beside him at the end of the group.

"Wow Thank you." You deadpanned.

"Sleepness night?" He pressed with a suggestive tone that made you a bit uncomfortable. "Get lucky after the ball?"

You leaned a may from him and rolled your eyes, "No." You deadpanned still, "I just didn't sleep well. Simple as that."

"Leave her be." Sif interjected with a glare.

"Fine fine. I was only going to offer my support anyway." He sighed and turned to the courtyard just in time for Odin to walk into the clearing followed by his sons and small collection of others in full armor.

You tried to not watch Loki approach. He was the main reason you had such troubles sleeping last night. At the ball, the two of you had danced. It was a terrible dance technically, but neither of you were going for technique. You spun around in clumsy circles trying to trip each other and laughed far too loud for such an eloquent event. You had the most fun you'd had in such a long time. Which wasn't surprising really, knowing how much you enjoyed your time with Loki. What was surprising was how the two of your came extremely close to kissing. Or at least you thought so. You were both giggling after almost intentionally knocking a stiff couple over in a dramatic dip, when you were suddenly so close to Loki that you lost your breath completely. He looked at you with a reverence you'd never experienced before. His eyes so soft and lips so close.

Those eyes and lips haunted you all night. You didn't know what to think. Loki had been your friend as long as you could remember now. You were just kids when you met and now you were both adults, so kissing him shouldn't have been such a taboo thought. Yet, it felt like you shouldn't be thinking about such things, like kissing him would break apart years of friendship. Still, you couldn't deny that you actually wanted to. Maybe. Probably. Definitely. You couldn't decide, and the debate in your mind kept you up all night.

Odin gave a quick speach about close combat before asking for trainees to split off into pair or groups and left the crowd to go sit in a shaded area to the side of the courtyard. A nudge to your shoulder pulled your attention to Loki who somehow slipped up next to you with out you noticing.

"Rematch?" He voiced in an almost teasing tone, however he sounded a bit tired himself.

"You want me to kick your butt again?" You laughed lightly.

"We both know that's not how it went. I went easy on you and I still won quite spectacularly, per usual." He corrected with pride.

"Or I let you win in order to maintain your fragile ego." You countered smiling wide.

"I do suppose a rematch is the only way to settle our differences in recollection then." And with that he walked out to a central part of the field, far enough away from others and turned to you. He mimicked the bow he made last night to initiate your dance before pulling himself back into a defensive stance.

You couldn't stop the memories triggered by his bow flood your head. Exactly what you didn't need right now. You rolled your head from side to side and shook your extremities out. You tried to wake your body up more and focus on sparing instead of dancing and kissing. Taking in a deep breath you scanned to field directly around Loki and made a game plan. You wouldn't be able to match his strength, and with his reach longer than yours, you knew your best bet was to out step him and be too quick for him to ever touch you. Even that was a stretch, you weren't a great natural warrior, but you have trained enough with Loki to know to his go-to moves and enough with Sif to be pretty good at dodging.

You stalked around in a circle around Loki who simply watched you out of the corner of his eyes. You could feel him watching you. You had a feeling he could even see you when he had his head turned away. A moment before you were going to lunge in his direction, he beat you to it. Loki's movements were fluid and graceful as he moved swiftly in your direction. You barely dipped away in time for the first strike and pulled a wooden practice dagger out just in time to catch his own wooden dagger inches away from your side.

He hummed in approval of your block then was off away from you immediately. The two of you glided and whipped around each other, exchanging blows in a display that was notably more elegant than your dance the night before. The sparring went on for a few minutes with out either of you landing a hit. You even attracted a small crowd that watched you go at it instead of practicing themselves.

Suddenly you lost your footing and instead of sliding away to avoid a whirling side slash from Loki you ended up doing an awkward lunge to the left and fell hard onto one knee. You braced for the impact, but it didn't come. You whipped your head around, but couldn't see Loki anywhere. You let out a breath in relief dispute your confusion. Then just as suddenly as he was gone, you felt a hand grasp yours and disarm you quickly as your hand was pinned to your back and you were pulled up to your feet. Loki's other slinked around your front and you felt the tip of his practice dagger gently poke you under your ribs.

You had a comment on your tongue about how it wasn't fair for him to use his illusions to trick you, but he spoke first. Leaning close to your ear from behind, whispering, "Caught you."

Simply put, your brain short-circuited. You went from being just able to focus on the fight to being able to focus on nothing but how close Loki was standing behind you. His breath warm against your ear. His arm snaked around your waste. It was a simple restraint position wasn't it? Oh but it was setting all your nerves on fire. Was his voice always this smooth? This was bad. You gulped down a hard breath and pushed out of Loki's embrace. You almost trip over your feet in the process to put as much distance between you as you could. You turned back to face him only to see his smug smirk in place.

"I win." He laughed.

"Yes, uh good, yea. Rematch goes to you." you mumbled too quickly. You nodded to him and turned to leave the area with haste. You could feel a warmth flooding your face in what could only be a strong blush and your breathing was uneasy. You needed space. You needed to get away.

Loki watched you make a quick line to another side of the courtyard and make what was an obvious attempt to feign interest in a couple of trainees trying, and failing, to take on Hogun at the same time. His rush from winning your little fight wore off quickly as he watched you. You were breathing heavy and fidgety. Both were new. You were usually up for best-two-out-of-three, and never out of energy this quickly. He had to admit he was tired today also, but he didn't expect you to be quite so out if it.

Later that day after Odin seemed pleased with his lot of exhausted warriors, everyone dispersed and went on with their normal day. Loki meant to catch you as soon as training ended, but you were no where to be found when the time came. Sif alerted Loki that you snuck out of the courtyard just as Odin was dismissing everyone.

A knock on your door startled you into reality as you were changing into some more comfortable clothes. Your daydream about the night before fading as you pulled the shirt over your head quickly.

"Come in" You call as you sit on the edge of your bed and pull on slippers.

Loki slides into your room, gently shutting the door behind him. "Are you alright?" He asked simply, not wasting time.

You thought about how you would deal with these feelings that were blossoming so strongly inside you on your walk to your room and made a simple decision, you wouldn't act upon them as to not endanger your most important friendship.

"I'm fine. I didn't sleep well last night, so I just wasn't at my best today." You said, and Loki smiled at the normally chipper tone in your voice.

"You too?" He exchanged, "I had the hardest time turning my brain off last night and it definitely kept me awake later than expected."

You pushed down your desire to ask him to elaborate or worse yet tell him what you couldn't get your mind off of was in fact Loki himself. Luckily he didn't pry either and the two of you fell into easy conversation about other matters as you sat on the edge of your bed together.

The next day, you met Loki at the library to study and before you could stop yourself you sat yourself down beside him, which wasn't the normal way you two studied together. You normally sat across the table from him in order to allow more room for all your scrolls, books, and notes. However, when he gave a lopsided smile at your proximity, you knew you made the right decision. Even if having him this close now released butterflies in your stomach.

Little did you realize at the time, all these changes were leading you exactly where you needed to be. Leading you to exactly who you needed to be with.

-------

Thanks, I'll update my master list soon!

[annabcth]

tbh your blog sums up everything that is wrong in the sw fandom. if you didn't like tlj and if you don't get ben solo's character, just shut tf up.

If Rey had been a Skywalker or a Solo and either Luke’s daughter or Han and Leia’s daughter, that would’ve ruined these characters. Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, then again, is a Skywalker, not Poe or Finn. And btw Solo is a good movie, not the best one but good. It’d be amazing if people like you would just delete their blogs bc you make the Star Wars fandom toxic and not fun to be part of.

Kylo has been emotionally and physically abused for his whole life and you’re telling us he’s evil and the bad guy and abuses rey and doesn’t deserve a thing and doesn’t deserve to be in a poster that portrays the skywalkers? Lol your precious Luke Skywalker wouldn’t approve.

i’m replying to those messages for two main reasons. one, i’ve been getting hate about my stance on tlj/rey*o since december, both in my askbox and under my edits, and while i don’t really care about it, i’m torn about not publishing those messages/replies/tags because the rey*o fandom is a riot and i feel guilty about deleting evidence of their harassment. two, this new discourse is actually extremely relevant, so here we are.

since you’re writing this on anon, i assume you know i’m not the problem here, you are. i keep my opinions to my blog, i don’t look for a fight, i always tag properly. i’m not even an active anti. tlj really hurt my star wars obsession, and i needed to vent for a while, which i did, but then i moved on, and my blog is discourse-free once again. i’m assuming those messages were prompted by my tags under a post criticizing the comic-con poster fiasco.

we obviously have different interpretations of tlj, and you’re bothered by mine. i find it very reasonable though, given that ky*o did recreate anakin’s decision from rotj, and then proceeded to almost destroy everything his grandpa’s great redemption accomplished (saving luke and the rebellion). thankfully, he didn’t succeed (yes, luke died, but it was framed as a defeat for ky*o), and the legacy lives on. through whom? well, luke tells us: “the rebellion is reborn today, the war is just beginning, and i will not be the last jedi”. the editing shows us who will carry out this fight for the light side. the movie ends ky*o’s arc with his promise to destroy the new heroes. so yeah, for that reason i think finn and poe belong in that poster right next to rey, since all three were branded as the new rightful heirs. i get that you’re reading the film differently, probably hoping for ky*o’s eventual redemption and a happily ever after with rey, and honestly, there is nothing i can do about your opinion, so i’m not gonna try to. neither of us decides which interpretation is canonically correct. in the end, it’s jj’s choice, which was probably made back when he was creating those characters.

taking all of this into account, i’m hoping you could suppot two men of color who are an important part of the sequel trilogy’s narrative, whether you agree with my opinions about tlj or not. they were given their own storylines and character development, and they’re tied to the main conflict as leaders of the anti-facist movement. they deserve to be recognized as crucial to this story, and they deserve a spot in the comic-con poster.

my ramblings in the tags mean nothing. you sending anon hate means nothing. neither of those things matters in shaping the narrative for episode ix. quarrels over a ship becoming canon don’t influence the final outcome of this trilogy. however, people defending and supporting two characters of color in a predominantly white franchise means a lot, and can change a lot, at least in the long run.

we have our own opinions, and that’s alright. i voiced mine on my blog, in the tags of a random post. you were lurking on my blog, and sent me hate. i’m not the one who’s toxic here. we’re in the same boat, really- you will absolutely hate it if ky*o dies/doesn’t get redeemed, i will hate it if your ship becomes canon. the answer to that anxiety you’re feeling is to find a different thing to fixate on, and let go for the time being. or just keep your opinions to your blog, and don’t harass people by telling them to delete their tumblrs.

to address other things you mentioned in your messages (they’re standard rey*o talking points, so it should be quick):-  there is no canonical proof that ky*o has been abused his whole life. a dark presence watching him as a fetus/baby doesn’t equal grooming or emotional/physical abuse. it’s defenitely what his relationship with snoke is when we meet up with them in tlj, but we have no idea how and when this partnership was formed. that being said, i admit it’s possible that some additional information about kylo’s fall will be revealed, and it could change my opinion about this character. however…- even if kylo was abused, it wouldn’t justify his actions. he kills his alleged abuser in tlj, and continues to be a major ass, so yeah, he’s the bad guy. (to be revealed) cool motive, still murder*. - yes, kylo’s relationship with rey is abusive, both physically (throwing her into a tree, restraining her) and emotionally (invading her mind, telling her she’s nothing, lying to and gaslighting her). they’ve known each other for a couple of days, had five/six conversations in total, and the amount of time she didn’t want him dead could be counted in hours, i think. she asked him to stop killing her friends, he refused. conceptually it’s such an awful groundwork for romance it’s almost funny. she literally closed the door on him, flying away with his mother on his father’s ship, gripping his uncle’s and grandpa’s lightsaber, the literally destroyed heirloom of the skywalker family. leia said to her “we have everything we need”, completing rey’s tlj!arc of realizing that she’s destined to become the new legend despite her humble beginnings, disillusionment, self-doubt and abandonment issues. this is probably the point where you jump in to say the symbolism of the final scene between leia and rey foreshadows rey mending the lightsaber/redeeming ky*o, but i have three problems with that. one, rey already tried that, it didn’t end well. two, i don’t think jj gives two shits about vague symbolism of tlj, given that rian didn’t bother to uphold basic continuity between his movie and tfa. three, it would be incredibly sexist if rey, instead of being the true heir to the chosen one legacy, was used as a tool for redemption of the failed heir that almost destroyed it. this legacy, along with the one of leadership and rebellion, no longer belong to the skywalkers**. luke’s aforementioned quote makes this clear.- i never said kylo doesn’t belong in the comic-con poster. i only said finn and poe should be there as well. if you feel like their presence in the story threatens your predictions for kylo’s arc, then maybe those hopes you have are not well-founded in canon and you need to distort it in order to make your ship seem more plausible. just maybe. also, luke wouldn’t be able to approve or disapprove this opinion of mine that i never had.

and you’re right, luke skywalker is very precious to me.

* there is a great post going around arguing that ky*o’s apparent lack of relateable reasons for turning to the dark side is a great metaphor for neo-facism and current alt-right movements, and it makes him an excellent and very relevant villain. i agree.

** of course, this plotpoint would change if rey/finn turned out to be a solo/skywalker. i have complicated feelings about this concept, and voicing them would make this already long reply even longer, so i’m not gonna do that.

[shiroallura]

I want to follow u but all this discourse about black paladin shiro is exhausting and idk how to tag block on mobile. When r we gunna go back to that juicy shallura? I really don't wanna unfollow! I love ur blog!

hey.

first, i just wanted to say i’m super happy you love my blog, and all my ‘juicy shallura’ content. i did a brief google search to see if there was a clear cut way to blacklist tags on tumblr mobile, and found a few avenues, but i don’t want to recommend any to you (one is a beta software, and like, idk how trustworthy it is) just in case, nor do you need to look into any of those avenues yourself.

i know my blog hasn’t been the place it usually is the past day or so. i always try to be a positive place in the fandom: confident, analytical, editor, writer. i try to create positivity and faith and happiness and… arguably the time when we as a fandom need it the most, i know i’m failing.

i know i’ve been pretty emotionally exhausted since last night, once my anger burned out and i just cried for a while. and it’s probably silly to have so many of my emotions invested in a cartoon, or any tv show, but… i think it’s clear how much time and energy i’ve poured into this blog and into the shallura fandom over the past two years. i’ve been here since four days after s1 premiered. at every twist and turn, every season, every new shred of discourse, i’ve remained, and persisted. i’ve adapted. if shallura isn’t canon, will i be sad? yes, but that’s easily fixed with fanfiction. it’s something i can live with.

my one uncompromising stance with vld? the one thing i wanted and needed to continue watching and be invested above all else? my ‘make-or-break’ requirement? shiro in the black lion. if i have to choose between canon shallura or shiro in the black lion, i will pick shiro in the black lion. every single time. because it’s everything to him, and everything to me. so after missing my boy for 17 months and being so relieved at having him back, and so confident – to go up to trusting the writers to a solid 70% when before it had been maybe a 40–50%? i hadn’t been that overjoyed and excited, to that extent, since s1 aired and we were just waiting for s2 and all the potential and possible good writing in the world were at our fingertips

and never has my happiness been so swiftly or brutally shattered, in regards to something in fandom. it sent me floundering. i wanted to cry and simultaneously wanted to throw up. and then i got angry. and when i burned through that anger with extreme ferocity, i had a good, 20 minutes at least, cry.

so this blog has seen a lot in the past 24 hours. i’ve felt a lot. and this blog, above being a place for me to share my love for shiro and allura, is a way to express and navigate my emotions concerning them, and to work through my emotions. and for the most part, i don’t think i’m wrong in saying my feelings have been exceedingly positive.

but this news, whether it’s a lie or not (and if it isn’t a lie, i’ll need to build myself back up again) took me from cloud nine and let me fall all the way to rock bottom, and i had to pick myself back up again. i still am, and i don’t think i wholly will until i know if my boy is going to be in his lion again.

that being said, i know i’ve likely said or reblogged everything pertaining to this topic today. unless we get more information that makes it fandom relevant again, i’ll keep it contained to pms and group chats and let it simmer down as best i can.

i know this probably a longer, and more emotional, answer than you were expecting. and i hope this isn’t dragging you down. i don’t want to be a negative space and i never have. so the juicy and positive shallura content should be on its way, soon (aka within a day or two). it’s the best distraction i have and god knows we all need one. i may even kick myself into gear and work on HTDITD a bit more and try to get it done before sdcc.

but it’s not going to be as easy as it was a couple days ago. at least, not without me working at it. so please, and thank you, for your patience. i’ll be positive and believe it soon enough