#we're truly blessed to finally have him

[mmmitchmmmarner]

[miistersunshin3]

HIHI no clue if your requests r open but OMG I LOVED UR SAL X MEANGIRL!READER SMM 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ IS THERE A CHANCE WE CLD GET MOREE? 🫶🫶 🍰

Star struck pt. 2 ☆

Sal Fisher x meangirl!reader

a/n : part two yippeeee!! And yes my request are open so feel free to send more *\(^o^)/*

Enjoy!

-...he just couldn't keep staring as you slowly walked away, your hair swaying perfectly with each and every step, did you really just say that to him? it couldn't be, right? he must be dreaming

"sal, dude.. Sal! cmon bro we're gonna be late again, lets go" Larry said slightly annoyed, not having quite witnessed what just happened a few seconds ago.

Sal, having finally just snapped out of the trance you put him in, turned back around to face him and then coming at him with a little sarcastic

"pfft as if you care, weren't you the one that skipped first period today?"

"yeah yeah, lets just go now"

-needless to say you had that boy Star Struck (hihi see what I did there ^_−☆)

-even in the afternoon when the group hung out together, he just couldn't get his mind off of you and that stupid thing you said. Yet he was too nervous to tell his friends, knowing they were opposed to the idea of him liking.

-his friends, of course noticed his behavior, but decided to not comment on it thinking it was probably just him getting into his own head again.

.............................................................………………………

-at night, when everyone was fast asleep, he still caught himself thinking about you. you. you. you. and bless his poor soul, he just couldn't stop.

-with his mask off and his face in his pillow curling up in his bed, the duvet softly covering his body and hair falling freely, he couldn't help but wonder about your reaction to him without the mask. his face, his scarred broken then patched together again face, as he not so much liked to think about it.

-and god you were right, he's just so pathetic: laying in his bed thinking of you while a tear slowly makes its way down the less scarred side of his face. you and your friends make fun of him every day and yet he still feels so deeply connected to you, wanting you to hold him, to love him.

-once he does fall asleep, you even manage to follow him in his dreams: laying side by side together on his bed, with your arms around him and his head on your chest, he didn't have that uncomfortable border between the two of you, just his bare face touching the soft fabric of your shirt. your soft voice in his ears "you know Sal, for me you are truly the prettiest thing" it was like heaven...

-friday, the ninth of august, 06:45. is what the alarm clock read as he softly stirred awake despite not wanting to wake up from his dream. finally after so many nights of restless sleep, he had an actually dream, not one of those nightmares people would also only describe as dreams.

...................................................................…………………

-between periods, as Sal and Ash were making their way to art class, one of the few classes they share, they hear slight laughter and rambling behind them, knowing who it is by the obvious smell of perfume you always use. god it made him crazy.

-his thoughts were quickly disrupted by an obnoxious voice

"hey, you. yeah I'm talking to you blue hair and pigtails, you enjoy being a walking joke?" one of your friends snared.

"no wonder you only hang out with other weirdos, how about you all go back to the freak show your supposed to run?" another one joked making you laugh harder than you should have.

"oh yeah, you'd be the main attraction" you cockily say as you walk past him still smiling.

"fuckin' weirdos" the first one say as she purposefully bumps into Ashley while walking by.

-gosh why did you have to be so mean... and beautiful at the same time

....................................................................…………………

-its not that you hated Sal.. you didn't even dislike him. its just that... he's just so fun to mess with, I mean cmon he's the perfect target, mask and everything. you still weren't quite fond of his friends tho, but they were also okay.

-you did feel bad sometimes after saying something to him, even if he wouldn't react, your first thought with him was always 'did I take it to far now?' which was weird since you've never thought that when you'd do the same things with other people.

-but the sight you were going to witness in a few minutes was unbelievable to you..

..................................................................……………………

-this was truly the worst thing that could happen to him, he was defenseless. so vulnerable, so miserable, so pathetic.

-two of your male 'friends' had caught him alone in one of the storage rooms of the art classroom and decided they wanted to find out what lies under that mask of his.

-with one of them trying to take his prosthetic off and the other holding his hands so he couldn't defend himself even if he tried, he was done for... or so he thought.

-the creek of the door halted their movement only to reveal you, looking as beautiful as ever yet you had a bewildered looking on your face from seeing the scene in front of you.

"what the fuck do you think you're doing?" you say as you look the one wanting to take his mask in the eyes.

"oh cmon, we were just having some fun here, no need to ruin it" the other one spits.

"this is what you call fun? that's pretty sad if you ask me, I mean I get the verbal stuff but don't you think this is a bit too much?" you snap back.

"why the fuck are you defending him right now? he's fucking pathetic look at him" "and...? you know what I think, I think you're being just as if not more pathetic than he is right now, you are nothing (friends names), without me most people in this school probably wouldn't know you so shut it. and don't you dare tell anyone what happened here" you snarl.

"oh and what if we do tell, what are you gonna do, huh? tell your mommy? or the principal?" your other friend says in a fake whiny tone.

"I know what you did to that girl, you know she really did love you so much (friend name 1) it would be a shame if everyone knew that you're a lying cheating skank and not that you guys just broke up normally and oh (friend name 2) I didn't know you had room to talk when literally all you do is hook up with Mrs. Miller every Friday, do you wanna get kicked out of school, I don't think so. and trust me, once I confirm the rumors its over for you"

“You’re no fun” one of them says as they leave.

- silence. pure silence and you decide to break it.

“You okay?” You ask in a genuine tone. He takes a moment to reply speaking with a stutter “yeah, all good”

“Don’t worry I didn’t see anything” referring to his face, you cross your arms and lean against the door frame, he looks down at the ground in shame, his hands slightly shaking.

"do I make you nervous Sal?" you ask teasingly and after that you chuckle slightly as he's frozen in place "its okay, I get it"

a few moments pass when he finally has the courage to look at you again, god why was he like this when he was around you. "you owe me, big time" "yeah" he finally answers "what do you need?" he asks in a slightly nervous voice, he cannot talk to girls for the life of him (look at his first encounter with Ash in the game (=´∀｀))

you start to think, what do you need..? he then speaks again "I'll get you anything you want" nervousness still ringing in his voice "woah, don't get to ahead of yourself weirdo" you tease.

as you slowly leave the room you say "I'll think of something, sweetheart" you send him a quick smile while leaving and not to forget that wink you shot him once before.

-meanwhile he thinks he’s died because of that nickname, but don’t worry your smile brought him back to life, you just really know how to make his heart flutter. ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

..................................................................……………………

a/n : I hope you guys enjoyed(≧∀≦) if you have any wishes feel free to send me requests!! (P.s I love bullying Sal hihi)

[esmerulia-chantelle]

🐙Thinking about Azul who loves having his arms wrapped around you🐙

It's like his arms are on automatic whenever you're near. They would instantly wrap around your form and pull you in closer to him.

He could be reading a business journal with one hand while his other arm snakes around your waist as the two of you sit on the couch. Or maybe you're both lying on the bed while watching a movie. His arm easily wraps around your shoulders with his head leaning on top of yours as you watch in comfortable silence, maybe with some occasional small talk and comments about the movie.

When you are outside, Azul's hand either rests on your hip or waist as the two of you walk side by side. If he sees someone looking at you too much with a weird look or something in their eyes, he'll pull you in closer and give you a light squeeze.

In his merform, you could be swimming together while a tentacle wraps around your waist so he doesn't lose you in case you wander to far or drift from the strong currents. Maybe you could also settle in his octopot and his many arms would be all over you in a tight but comfortable hug as you snuggle together.

Azul just loves having you close to him. It gives him a sense of comfort and security whenever you are in his arms. Because he knows that whatever happens, he'll always have you by his side.

"Zul? What's wrong?" You ask in surprise and worry.

Azul just got home and he wordlessly goes to you, arms instantly wrapping around your waist from behind as he buries his face on your neck.

"Nothing. I just missed you."

"Hehe~ I missed you too. Welcome home!" You say while giving him a kiss.

"Happy to come home to you, my love. I'm happy to have you here with me," he says as he hugs you tighter.

"I'm happy to be with you too, Azul. I'll always be by your side."

"Thank you, Y/N. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Zul." You give him another kiss. "Now come on. Let's eat dinner. You must be hungry by now. We're having your favorite— fried chicken!" You give him your sweet smile and it has Azul's heart melting as he hums in delight.

How happy and fortunate he truly was. Having you right there in his arms throughout everything was his greatest blessing of all.

More like this on my #thinking about azul🐙 tag in my blog!

And yes, I finally gave it a new tag now because I might just make more of these! 🥰 What I don't know is if I should make a masterlist or not 🤔😭 ANYWAYS—!

If you enjoyed this: likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. Thank you for reading!

[thefudge]

haven’t watched s4 of the umbrella academy but i know five and lila kissing there omg if only every tv show and book have listened to our weird ships…

okay so i spent the last few hours speed-running through this season and OH MY GOD not only did they pay attention to our weird ship, but it's like INCREDIBLE levels of fanfic!!! like, the YEARNING alone??? like, okay, the writers did the "stuck in a time bubble together" bonding/romance storyline, but what i loved about it is they planted the seeds early in the season with lila not only feeling stuck in her marriage but sneaking out and running into five and having fun with him sleuthing just like in past seasons!!! like, it's not just "we're only now seeing each other's potential because we're stuck in the subway" it's more like "we've always been kindred spirits and now we have some down time to really let that sink in". it feels like the culmination of their evolution from enemies to frenemies to friends to lovers??? like all that friction from past seasons finally coming to fruition. hell, at one point five even straight up tells her diego can't give her what she needs??? like, they're admitting they're happier together and fit better together, in and outside of the time loop!!! and i love love LOVE the writers for not doing the super tired switcheroo where, once lila returns to diego and her family she suddenly realizes the whole thing with five was a fever dream. NO!!! no no no, all the feelings are still there like AAAAH it's such good angst, because she keeps exchanging loaded and uncomfortable glances with five while diego is trying to hold her/kiss her??? and five looks SO upset??? it's ao3 levels of delicious drama!!!! diego even asks her if she loves five and she CANNOT deny it, and her whole family and kids are right there but!!!! they still have these feelings and i love how shameless the show is about it!!! one of the big subplots of the final episode is lila having to give up her family to sacrifice herself, but it's also framed as her choosing five and just sort of collapsing in his arms telling him she hates him for this??? and he says "i know"??? HELLO??? also just the yearning and pining even mid-apocalypse!!!! five can't focus on anything else except her, literally they're all about to die but their lil drama is still going on!!!! (complete with diego and five punching each other and rolling on the floor fighting over lila!!!!) it's SO good. also props to the five actor for truly LOCKING IN and just leaning so much into the yearning. every second he looks at lila it's like she hung the moon and he is dying to be with her. i JUSTTTTTTT and the fact that lila hates bracelets and she didn't wear the one diego got her for valentine's, but she wears five's???? and loves it??? and he made it out of all the scrap metal for her???? soooo many little moments like that!!! when he says "i aim to please" kneeling in front of her????? when he says "you know why" when she asks him why he kept the notebook with the escape plan from her!!!!! he just wanted to be with her forever in the greenhouse timeline GAAAAAH. like, this is now gonna be my standard for "non-canonical ships that didn't seem like they could ever have a chance but became canon anyway"!!! cuz usually we clock the chemistry and the banter and the connection but we have to make do with our lil AUs because we know the writers wouldn't dare. but they did!!! they did it this time!!! GOD BLESS i feel so validated in this chili's tonight!!!

[animehideout]

LOVE IS THE MOST TWISTED CURSE OF THEM ALL

PART ONE.

read part 2 here

GOJO SATORU X FEM! READER.

a/n: Here's part one, since all of you voted for Gojo satoru arranged marriage. Once I'm done with this story I'll start writing Long distance relationship x geto suguru.

Let me know if you want to get tagged in the next parts🫶🏻

"You can use the main bedroom; I won't be home much anyway," Satoru casually said glancing your way.

You silently agreed, carrying your bags to the spacious new bedroom.

The house was fancy; everything looked classy and pricey, but it's Gojo Satoru we're talking about.

You didn't exchange many words. It's your first night together after saying your vows. Still in your wedding dress, changing felt awkward with his intense gaze, so you began unpacking instead.

Leaning against the door frame, he observed you before finally speaking.

"Let's agree on something, okay?" he said.

"Huh? What agreement?" you asked.

"Listen, I have no idea how I ended up in this marriage mess, and I think you feel the same, even though you're the one benefiting. But let me be clear—this marriage isn't real."

"But how the curse will break?—"

"It doesn't matter how. The prophecy said it will so you can save playing as real husband and wife to yourself," he interrupted. "I'm not interested in you, and I don't need to know more about you. I already know enough," he added.

"I'm not interested in you either, and you know it Satoru."you spat.

"Yeah, right. That's why you needed my help." he mocked.

"I DIDN'T. I was fine with not breaking the curse, but my family and the higher-ups insisted for some stupid reasons."

"Yeah, right. STOP LYING. I know you wanted this; otherwise, you could've refused."

"If I had any power to do so, I wouldn't have wasted a second" you glared at him, feeling offended.

"You just confirmed that y/n, I really don't wanna see your face, you can wander this house as much as you want. I'll be in Jujutsu high” he said closing the door forcefully, leaving you all alone.

You removed your dress, changing into comfier clothes.

You were more than relieved that he left, you couldn't stand him anyway or stand his annoying voice. You wanted peace and you finally had it.

You couldn't understand why your family and the higher-ups insisted on breaking your curse, you were completely fine with it. With not being a sorcerer, breaking the curse will only bring a huge responsibility on your shoulders and you'll end up like every one in your family...A jujutsu sorcerer, exorcising curse day and night to help those who can't defend themselves.

Even though you weren't capable of seeing curses, you still could sense them roaming in the space..

It scared you at first, knowing that something is near but you can't do anything about it, unlike your other siblings.

But you grew to accept it and see the whole situation as a blessing not a curse.

But here you found yourself, marrying Gojo Satoru the strongest sorcerer, by an order of both your family and the higher-ups, saying that this bond wouldn't only break your curse that's stopping you from using your Jujutsu but it will also bring a new balance to the jujutsu world.

You're stuck with him, stuck with Satoru. You don't know him well, all what you know is that he's extremely powerful and from what you've seen, he's also a dick and a pain in the ass. Only a few hours in your marriage and he managed to offend the shit out of you.

“its just a matter of time” you said to yourself, while getting under the covers.

The night was truly terrifying for you, you weren't used to spend a night all alone in a big house like this, but it was 100 times better than spending it with Gojo.

So you just shut your eyes, hoping to fall asleep before falling apart.

_________________________________________

•In Jujutsu High•

“Huh Gojo what are you doing here?” asked principal Yaga.

“What?” he answered coldly while shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Its your wedding night, why'd you let your bride alone?”

“Hah bride?” he laughed raising an eyebrow. “And I thought she's the only one being delusional.. I did what all of you wanted, I married her, but thay doesn't mean I wanna live with her” he added.

“But Goj-”

“Sensei- I did my responsibility as the strongest sorcerer for the sake of the jujutsu world.. you can't ask for more”

“but if the higher-ups learn that you'-”

“Well screw the higher ups hehe” he laughed then headed to his room, reserved on Jujutsu high to spend the night away from you.

[ophelian-darling]

𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬.

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Jonathan Joestar, Joseph Joestar, Jotaro Kujo, Josuke Higashikata, Giorno Giovanna and Jolyne Cujoh - gn reader.

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : There's more than a way to say I love you, yet there are many too ways to say I hate you.

TW : Obsession, delusional thoughts, verbal abuse.

enjoy ♡

𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫:

♡ : Thank you for everything you do for me, JoJo.

It fills him with blessing to know how much his words and actions are something with great meaning in your eyes. Faithful servant when in love- except that everything he does sources from the warmest atoms of his soul and from the deepest corners of his heart. Jonathan fights the world to see you happy, and rests with a smile when he earns the slightest curve of your lips; to him, it's the ultimate gift he can ever receive- your Love.

- You mean nothing to me.

Tears- everything that would wash him with agony strikes at once. the sensation of tearing the flesh of a heart open accompanies your words; deeply cutting and painful, causing all of his insecurities to float : Am I being useless again darling? Am I being a burden? Have you grown tired of me? He can't help it when he sheds these tears: He had lost all of your affection and care. the only source of warmth he had, now doused in the cruelest way possible. 

𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐡 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 :

♡ : I like you , you're awesome!

Just imagine it, that ghost of a blush coffined beneath a confident smirk and a glinting wink! Joseph catches a love fever once you state that his presence around you is enjoyable. He feels that he already aimed at the moon by gaining your trust and company- it meant that you were besotted with him in return, regardless of whatever you said about considering him as a mere brother or a dear friend. JoJo sees the colors of your eyes soften as you say so, it is surely, undoubtedly love!

- We're done.

a swift of a cut that it doesn't elicit any pain at first, then it's repeated again, slightly stinging, then it rolls down your tongue, fully sinking in his soul. How could you?! Was the thing in the middle of your chest a hard stone to not see or feel a fraction of his love towards you?! a heavy realization of being used falls on his head like a heavy anvil: the blood in his veins floats just right under his skin, painting anger as red, yet the pale dread underneath can't be helped. Why? He would scream at you, but the reasons were nothing of an importance, you just toyed harshly with his feelings. 

𝐉𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐊𝐮𝐣𝐨 :

♡ : I'm always by your side. 

It ignites a pleasant warmth within his heart and shines through his eyes; it confesses his undying love and loyalty for you, regardless of whatever mean words he utter. No force on earth can banish him from you: From the depths of Inferno to the ends of earth and above in the heavens, He would remain with you forever, his lineaments engraved under your eyelids and in the darkest curtains of your vision. JoJo doesn't show it, but he's on cloud nine to know that you're staying as well- that he finally earned your love. 

- Nobody loves you, not even me.

He's already aware. Half of people fear him, the other hates him, and there were you, probably feeling something negative swirl inside you towards him, now confirming it with each spiteful letter you let out. Couldn't you just shut the fuck up and swallow it instead of saying it out loud? He spits, the words of you reiterating louder and louder in his mind that now he can't unhear. You've just ruined everything for him, he had peacefully thought that everything went well, that your protests and complaints were just a childish fit- but now, it's all so grotesquely real: you truly hated him, and for the first time ever, he has no idea what he should do. 

𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐚 :

♡ : You're cute! I like your hair!

Nobody can stop him, the boy with a heart of diamond and eyes of warm seas! Everything in his eyes glints with beauty; especially you: everything about you is a well crafted detail, say your eyes, your smile or the contours of your face. The subject of his daydreams- they were made of spring rain drops and cotton candy, the enchanting human whom he had a silly intense crush on called him cute! Was there even a better time to be alive? to be praised by someone you adored was the epitome of being coddled beyond any wishes of a young man madly in love!

- Look at you, pathetic and ugly.

Huh?! 

It's all that he can think of as a response. Your words take a slow effect on him; as if he was trying to process it in another different light, in a gentle way that didn't convey the clear in them. At first, He's at sixes and sevens for a few minutes: people who are in love together were supposed to have each other's back, to boost each other's confidence and accept them whatever and whoever they were- so why were you saying this to him now? obviously it wasn't a joke, your voice was too cold to warm the words into a playful comment, he would have accepted them if you were just a tad above expressful, not a doll that just stares back eerily. He should be angry, but it just melts in tears, all of his hidden insecurities emerge into existence, and not even Crazy Diamond is able to fix the shatters of his heart. 

𝐆𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐨 𝐆𝐢𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 :

♡ : You mean the world to me.

Galatea to Pygmalion, Juliet to Romeo, Layla to Qays- You to Giorno. Romanticism wasn't something he was versed in, but in a blink of an eye, the world fell into a pink blur, filling everything with such amour a human never had in a little heart. GioGio ponders to himself that you were an Angel, a poor pure plumed creature that tripped and fell into the land of the stained; worth to be kept in a vitrine till the sun burns away. The smile that dances on his lips when he hears your gratitude, the joy he feels when his efforts of shielding you are finally noticed by you equate the flow of sweetness he tasted for the first time he saw you: Love.

- You're a monster. 

The gray flicker in his eyes blends with the greens of his irises; it doesn't reflect on your face that you just hurt him, while having the audacity to brand him as a monster. His patience contained all of your attitudes, he bottled up every evil word you threw at him and continued to offer more than he should for the sake of winning back some or little of your affection, but to no avail. The mayhem under his skin is concealed by force, consuming whatever left of his patience as he makes you toe the line. You're selfish- you always were, yet he can't help his love for you. 

𝐉𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐧𝐞 𝐂𝐮𝐣𝐨𝐡 :

♡ : Good Girl! 

Valentine, Friends and dates- High school sweethearts and kisses! Her world is a ridiculously colored picture of a sunny day; her imagination paints a world where she is with you and nothing could ever go wrong. How much would she offer to just touch the tips of your fingers with her hands? nothing less than what she is able to count! JoJo wanders around you in the excitement of a puppy around its master, waiting for a treat or a word of praise for pleasing them. She wants you to say it again, over and over again, to no end! A Good girl was a girl in Love! 

- How annoying you are. 

She had heard someone she loved before say this, but who were they? 

Remorse falls heavily on her like a dark curtain- She'd just ruined the best thing she ever had in life. She blames herself for being too clingy, too needy and too desperate- she carries the shame and burden like weights on her shoulders, staggering as the remains of her confidence seep through the fractures. Your sweet words and praises were brightening her existence; was she to be something if you didn't adore her? The talkative, open and daring Jolyne is now nothing but a silent, gloomy and wounded little girl, asking for a little of love and receiving none no matter how much she gave. 

[rayroseu]

Now that I think about it, maybe the reason why Malleus' Magic is so powerful, because before he was born he was copiously sustained with powerful magicians like Meleanor, Maleficia, and Lilia.

The egg is born through love but only through magic can that egg finally hatch (that's where Lilia exhausted his magic). Maybe a fae's power is determined to how much magic can their parents "exhaust" in making them born(?).

So, essentially, His magic consists of the magic of powerful mages.

1) Meleanor (as his biological mother),

2) Maleficia (her magic was life support while he was incubated),

and 3) Lilia (who hatched him).

So when we fight Malleus, we are not just simply fighting "Malleus" himself, but rather a lethal culmination of Meleanor, Maleficia, and Lilia's raw power.

That's why it feels so impossible to defeat him because we're essentially fighting three powerful magicians at once, it's just in the form of "Malleus Draconia."

All these magicians have high-profile powerful magic, and all of them are faes too. I often assumed that Malleus was rich in magic because he's a Draconia but no, Meleanor used her full magical strength as well but the story didn't showcase her casting some world altering magic like stopping time and encasing human souls inside a magical barrier— Only Malleus did...

Maybe there's really no person who can defeat him as STYX theorizes... Not even Maleficia. While its true she's powerful, but based on this interpretation, she can fight Malleus, but fighting Malleus is also the same as fighting her magic, mixed with Meleanor's and Lilia's (and Levan's even though we don't know how powerful he is).

Levan is Malleus' father but so far the story doesn't imply nor mention any significant magical contribution he did to Malleus. The only thing mentioned in the story about Levan's influence was that Malleus is a kind/gentle person because of him.

I like to interpret he's powerful too! So maybe, its not just Meleanor, Maleficia, Lilia, but also Levan.... if he got the chance to bless Eggmalleus some magic before he lost. So its actually FIVE HIGH CLASS MAGICIANS were fighting against if we fight Malleus ☠️☠️ That's why he's truly "god-like".

I really like the fact that Malleus is undefeatable even by raw power or raw cleverness (like using technology). I know that's still going to be a big part, but its more intriguing for me to how TWST will handle stopping Malleus without obvious offense.

They'll only need to rely on one thing that humans are really great of practicing (more than faes): communication. Maybe the solution may be as simple as talking to Malleus that he needs to stop lol Because really, at this point, thats the most staple choice we have, anything else takes too much time💔😔

Not in the accusing way, but in a kind and understanding way. But, I know that's unlikely to happen knowing how "cringed" NRC is towards displaying kindness (which is often their downfall lol). But remember, the resolution at the fairy gala event? Where everyone was antagonizing the Diurnal Fairies, assuming they'll be stubborn and that they're thieves so they should take the stone without asking them, but then it turns out once they got caught and Silver talked with them apologetically and with understandingly, the Queen understood it and let the stone go...

Maybe Malleus would act like that Queen too?? After all, no one still talks with him about how "indeed, it is painful to suffer and lost, but there's merit in their existence, so we don't need to cut them out of our lives, because even those painful experiences helps us achieve our true dreams." or just a simple "You won't be alone even if Lilia passes away. I'm sure Lilia will be more happy to live his life and live it longer because he'll be remembered by Malleus even if he's just a memory now." or maybe a blunt "The world doesn't revolve around anyone, so Malleus has no rights to dictate how we should live our lives" lol

I feel like Malleus is just a person who never really thinks about other interpretations unless its been said to him... That's why I'm wishing that Book 7 resolves his overblot by not fully painting him as a "catastrophic dark fae" (like what the humans viewed Meleanor), like there'll be a balance between depicting him as a villain but also as a flawed person.

But yes I do agree that the biggest hurdle in defeating Malleus, may not just be his overpowered magic, but also his defiance in believing that he can understand humanity and humanity will understand him 😭😭

[jade-green-butterfly]

Just watched Trolls Band Together...ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!😍😍😍(SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!)

Oooh, my Harmonia...just got back from watching Trolls Band Together and my GOODNESS!!🤩✨🤩✨🤩Words cannot describe how amazed and engrossed I was into the whole movie!!💖💖💖Was it worth the seven month wait?😗TOTALLY!!😍😍😍It was absolutely fantastic, and I LOVED and enjoyed every single moment of it!!🥰

I was really getting into scenes, got quite a few laughs out of some scenes and was touched the wholesome ones~💕Branch's brothers were just as enjoyable on screen - John Dory still being my fave as he grew throughout the movie (LOVE Rhonda too!😁) Spruce/Bruce is such a lovable family man, Clay was (serious)ly awesome in his scenes and the tender moments between Floyd and Branch really got me...especially with the flashbacks...🥲 It was so great to see Grandma Rosiepuff again, though I do wish there was more feeling shown when her death was mentioned, hopefully the brothers will come to terms with it more in time...and Branch's bunker plan for them all, d'awww...~🥺So he DID build the bunker for all his family...😭 Viva was such an amazing character as well as she adorably bonded with Poppy (ooh, dear King Peppy, I know you were heartbroken at the time but c'mon...😅) and finally braved out of her comfort zone, and Tiny Diamond going through his big boy phase was real cute and funny😂Bridget and King Gristle were great too, it was lovely seeing them again along with the Bergens!😊 I had a feeling Velvet and Veneer were luring BroZone to them, they were such good villains with their goals and personalities but I am glad Floyd got through to Veneer in the end, and he saw the wrong he and his sister were doing, and came clean to everyone. And Crimp was a cutie and deserves better🫂(glad she got a hug from Poppy and stood up to Velvet and Veneer in the end😌) And it was also great to see some of the Snack Pack again too, including Prince D and especially my darling Cooper too, eeeee~!😍💗💗💗He looked so dapper!💝🥰 Speaking of Poppy, she was just as darling as ever~!😚I seriously LOVED her relationship and her undying love for Branch blossom so much here whilst supporting and fangirling for him all the way as they interacted, bless her~😊And that sweet BROPPY KISS!!🤭...🤩I was going 'YES!! FINALLY!!' under my breath, grinning from ear to ear in that moment~💙💖And that moment when I thought he was gonna pop the question during the performance during the end...hehe, maybe another time~😉But I certainly didn't expect *NSYNC to show up in their trollsonas near the end...what a twist!😮

The chase scene and perfect family harmony scene were truly epic and it really shows, it doesn't have to be perfect as long as we're altogether~💞💓All the locations of the brothers were stunning to look at, with Vacay Island and Spruce/Bruce's family, the creepy abandoned Bergen golf course with the Putt-Putt Trolls, and finally Mount Rageous - a whole lot of wonder to take in!💖Walt Dohrn, Gina Shay and the DreamWorks Animation Crew did such an fantastic job on everything!✨🌟✨And that huge BroZone hug...again, d'aaaaww~!😭

As for the songs...I'll be downloading the rest of the album now because they were all wonderful to listen to!🎧🎶Real boyband and 90's nostalgia~✨I know they're gonna be stick in my head for a long time, hehe!😆I have so many faves, especially all versions of 'Better Place'~😚

A greatly HUGE thank-you in a million to everyone Trolls for such a fantastic movie, which I wonderfully enjoyed all the way through, from start to finish!🌟👏👏👏🌟AAAHH!!💓💗💓I JUST LOVED IT ALL!! 😍🤩😍I give it a solid 9.5 out of 10!!😊👍✨Totally made my weekend~!🫶🥰

[ahl-e-dil]

(The Sweetness of Salah)

Always keep in mind that Salah isn't just obligatory it is food for our souls. Our soul needs prayer, it's to purify it, it's to beautify it and it's to nourish our souls. Just like how all of us are busy taking care of our bodies and appearances, we need to take care of our soul aswell, which is through, salah, getting closer to Allah everyday, seeking his forgiveness, thanking him for everything and remembering Him often.

Remember, your body will remain 6 feet under the ground and your soul will rise up and travel to Allah. Hence, in order to have a healthy soul, you need to take care of it, don't deprive it of it's food which is salah, just like you wouldn't deprive your body from it's food and exercise.

Never abandon your salah no matter what you're going through and no matter what situation you're in. Salah is what separates you from a kaffir, it's what makes us a Muslim. When you neglect your salah your neglecting your soul as well and it's final destination will be to Allah.

Disobeying Allah just to fulfill your own desires will never be worth it. It will only lead to consequence after consequence. In return it will only leave a hole in your soul, for everytime you miss a prayer it will cause that hole to become bigger and bigger until you become soulless.

Remember, when you stop praying, it's not you who has stopped praying, Allah is the One who has taken away the privilege to pray to Him from you.

Without salah you'll feel miserable, lost, empty and nothing in this dunya will truly ever satisfy you until your soul is fed. We will always feel like somethings is missing. We are nothing without salah, our life is nothing and it will seem pointless without salah.

Ask yourself this question, do I really want to get lost in this cruel dunya, which isn't even our real home and it will grant us nothing but disappointment. As you grow older you realize that this dunya is literally a prison for us believers and paradise for the disbelievers.

We need to keep in mind that salah is where your soul can heal and find comfort from this dunya which is nothing but filled with problems and chaos. It's to purify our hearts and fill it with peace and tranquility. It's to remind us of our purpose and worth, it's to show us who we truly are.

Remember, true happiness and peace only comes from remembering Allah, which you will never get from this dunya.

Always remember, that we're having a private and intimate conversation with our Creator five times a day, it's truly a blessing. When we recite surah Fatiha, Allah responds after each ayah we recite.

The moment you raise your hands and say 'Allahu Akbar', you're pushing all your problems and desires away, because Allah is greater than everything, anything and the dunya itself.

When you go in ruku, the weight of your sins fall off from your head and shoulders. The moment your forehead touches the ground, your heard in the highest heavens. In sujud your closest to Allah, so pour your heart and soul out to Him. Let it all out. SubhanAllah. How beautiful is salah.

Allah (ʿazza wa jall) has made the Hell-fire ḥarām for the face which prostrates itself to Him. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Hell-fire will consume all of the son of Ādam except the mark of prostration. Allah has forbidden the Fire to consume the mark of prostration.”

-Ibn Mājah

[moni-logues]

Kintsugi 15

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non-idol!au, angst, smut, tiny bit of eventual fluff

Summary: In a fit of spiteful, post-break-up self-improvement, you sign up to a baking class. Yoongi, in a bid to appease his demanding girlfriend, signs up, too. Determined to make him your friend, you end up with more than you ever imagined.

Word count: 6.8k

Content: references to self-harm, description of self-harm scars, some chat about self-harm; oral sex (m. and f. receiving), fingering, protected sex

A/N: I said I'd make it clear, so let's do that: IT'S THE END! THE FINAL ONE!! THE LAST CHAPTER! IT'S DONE!!! IT'S FINISHED!!! NO MORE!!! NO MAS!!!! FINIT!!!!! 끝!!!! 끝!!!! 끝!!!!

I was so relieved to finish this yesterday and thought I would be glad more than anything to post this and finally (FINALLY!!!) bring the series to a close, but I honestly do also feel kind of sad it's over. We've been together over a year now, these characters and me; I've been actually writing them for a year but they first popped into my head 18 months ago. And now we're at the end.

Huge thank you to everyone who has beta'd for me, inc. for this chapter @quarter-life-crisis2 and @here2bbtstrash, @minttangerines, @blog-name-idk, and Amethyst

Thank you to everyone who has left comments and come along on this journey with me; it has meant SO much to me to have your investment in and enthusiasm for this story. It has made it so rewarding to tell and I hope you like their ending.

Without further ado...

Chapter Fourteen | Masterlist | Bonus Drabble 1

Chapter Fifteen - Spring

Chapter Fifteen - Spring 

You rested your head gently against the window, watching the people come and go. The cherry blossoms had fallen already, gathered in gutters and collected in corners. You were always sad to see them go, but this year, you felt like they had given you something. Summer, of course, as always: the heat, the sun, the long days, the blessed relief of an ice-cold drink and even colder air-conditioning. This year, the cherry blossoms had brought you something else. Truly like confetti, they had blown around you, whirled around you, celebrating your first week of From Now On.  

You didn’t say that you were getting ahead of yourself. Not this time. Because you weren’t that anxious about it, as much as that surprised you. You had all the anticipation of your first day at school with none of the nerves. The cherry blossoms had gone but they hadn’t left a hole; you couldn’t feel their absence because your life felt abundant. Last year, when you had watched them bloom and fall and fade away, you had been empty. All the joy they usually brought you couldn’t touch the sides of your despair. It hurt more to see them ushering in spring when you felt stranded alone in winter. But now you weren’t alone. Not even close. 

It was a fairly mild day, just the cool side of hot, and still. You had been impatient and got ready early, hence the sitting and staring. Yoongi wasn’t due for another five minutes, but you’d been there for twenty already. You imagined you might see him on his approach to your building and get to observe him, unnoticed. You wondered what he was doing right now – driving? In a taxi? On the subway? Was he already on his feet, close to you? Was he nervous? You thought he would be. His shyness recently reminded you of when you first met, those tentative overtures of friendship, the thrill you felt when he opened himself up to you. 

It was not unlike the thrill you felt now, waiting for him to pick you up for your very first date.  

When he was due in no less than two minutes, you stood and moved to your mirror. You had, initially, planned to wear something that you considered sexier – that is to say, more form-fitting, a little more scandalous, a dress that showed off a little more of what your mother gave you – and then you changed your mind. You didn’t need to do that, because Yoongi already knew. He had already seen what lay beneath and it was all for him now anyway. So you dressed a little more comfortably, in a dress with a little more give, a little more fabric and flounce. You looked cute; you wanted Yoongi to think you looked cute.  

Then, as you always did, you heard his footsteps. 

“Babe!” you cried, leaning out of your door to see him coming from the end of the corridor.  

But you almost didn’t manage to say anything at all because, whilst you had expected Yoongi, you hadn’t expected Yoongi in a suit, holding flowers. It stopped you short; you had been about to run out to him, jump into his arms, do something silly. Instead, you were flustered, grinning at him from your doorway, your heart going like the clappers and your blood roaring in your ears because god-fucking-damn, had he always been that handsome? 

“No!” he called back. “Go back inside! What are you doing?” 

What were you doing? Short-circuiting, a little. His hair was still long and you imagined it twisted between your fingers, soft and pullable; he was smiling, even as he scolded you, all his little teeth on display. You had always liked a man in a suit – you must have said it a thousand times – but you had not been prepared for how much you liked this man in a suit. You were going to have to get some kind of grip if you were going to make it through dinner.  

“I’m saying hello!” you called back, a little too loudly now that he was closer. “I was going to run out to meet you!” 

“Get back inside! I’m supposed to be picking you up! I need to knock on your door!” 

Truthfully, Yoongi would have loved to have you run out of your apartment and into his arms, even if he’d tumbled, you’d stumbled, you’d both fallen to the floor in a bumped, bruised heap. He’d have loved to have thrown all caution to the wind and run away with you. But all of that was still overwhelming, far too much good for a boy who still thought he was bad, and there was a process to be followed, procedure. He was clinging to that. Like a life raft.  

Yoongi had practised. In as much as you can practise speaking to a friend without actually speaking to them. He had forgotten, in all his anxiety about dating you, about being with you, being seen by you, that you were his friend. He’d had these feelings for you from the very beginning and they had never paralysed him like he felt they were now. He knew sex was not the (only) answer, that sooner or later, he was going to have to remember how to act around you. So he called each of his friends in turn to hang out with them, to remind himself, firstly, that he had them, that he was likable; secondly, that he enjoyed their company—he enjoyed company in general, more than he would ever let on; thirdly, that he could be good company: he got a laugh out of every one of them. That had to count for something.  

And he bought you flowers. Because they would provide a good distraction in case all of these remembrances fell out of his head the second he saw you. And because he wanted to, because that’s what you should do when you take someone out on a date. He knew you liked tulips and it was tulip season. It felt right. And it released a little of his impulse to shower you with things, to buy things for you and haemorrhage cash to make him seem worth it.  

For the longest time, money had been all he had. He had laughed out loud in his therapist’s office when he said that because, for the longest time, money was all he didn’t have. The not-having of money was the very thing that defined his life and set him on this path; it was the bedrock beneath the biggest of his life’s decisions. And then it became all he had. All he had to offer. He was still learning that maybe there were other things, too. 

You did as you were told and shut the door, palms pressed against it as you listened to your heart and tried to make it slow. Then you waited six seconds until you heard his first knock. 

“Oh my god, hi!” you exclaimed. “I had no idea you were here!” 

Yoongi pretended he wasn’t grinning and shot you a look. 

“Shut up,” he replied. “I bought you these.” 

Tulips. Your favourite flower. You didn't remember ever telling Yoongi that, but maybe he just knew. They were another reason that April was your favourite time of year. Seoul Forest was full of them, hundreds, thousands of them blanketing the banks. There was a rainbow of colour in every direction; tall heads on sturdy stems barely touched by breezes, swaying like a choir. It was like a pilgrimage; you went every year. Maybe this year, you would take Yoongi.   

“They’re beautiful, thank you.” 

You took them from him, not bothering to try to restrain your smile from splitting your face in half, and leant in to kiss him. Then you stopped. 

“Are we allowed to kiss?” you asked, one inch from his face. Then you moved away and started looking in cupboards for a vase you weren’t sure you owned.  

Yoongi looked confused.  

“Y’know, kissing on a first date?” 

He still looked confused. Then you remembered. You laughed. 

“Oh, of course, that’s right. You’re Mr Fucks on a First Date, aren’t you?” 

You expected him to be surprised; you hoped he would be a little flustered, hoped you would get to see that pink creep onto his cheeks in a way that was just too cute. Instead, he grinned and you felt your own cheeks heat. 

“Is that a promise?” he asked and your stomach swooped.  

You had found a vase, tipped flower food into it, and were gently arranging the stems. You abandoned them in favour of moving closer him, then a little closer, slowly closer, until your lips were almost on his.  

“Cheeky,” you muttered, eyes flicking down to his lips, amaranth pink and just a little pouty. You bit your own. 

Yoongi hummed. 

“So is that a yes?” 

“Only if you play your cards right.” 

You dragged your eyes up and slowly pressed a kiss to his mouth. His hands settled on your hips and you couldn’t stop yours from reaching up, tangling one in his hair, using the other to rake through the dark locks you hoped he never cut. It wasn’t exactly the kind of grip you needed to get, but every atom of your body was asking for more. It was intoxicating to be kissed by him. 

It was Yoongi who broke from you (you did not have the same level of restraint), his mouth lifting in a grin as he nodded his head slightly towards the counter, where your tulips stood in their vase. 

“Did I mention I got you flowers?” 

“You might need to tell me one more time.” 

You weren’t nervous. Not at all. On the one hand, you felt like you should be, because it was Yoongi and this felt enormous. When you stood back and looked at it, it was huge. He was one of your two (2) friends in this world and you were ruining your friendship good and proper. You could still remember the sharp-toothed despair that wound around you like a strait-jacket after what happened with Sungbin; you remembered the suffocating heartbreak of San leaving you. You knew that it could happen here. There wasn’t a guarantee that Yoongi was The One, that you were The One for Yoongi. It should have scared you.  

But it didn’t. It was too hard to be anxious sitting across from him at dinner, as if you hadn’t sat and done this very thing with him dozens of times before. It was impossible to worry about whether or not he liked you when he looked at you like that, when he smiled in that way that you had always suspected was just for you. You knew he liked you because he was here. He had asked for this date and bought you flowers and he was laughing and teasing and being exactly the person you knew him to be. That didn’t make you nervous.  

Yoongi had picked the restaurant carefully. Not too fancy, not too quiet, not too busy, not too empty, not too casual. He had spent a great many hours trawling the internet for reviews and photos and listings. He wasn’t usually this obsessive, but so much about it all had felt out of his control and this was in it. So he was going to get it right. 

Sitting across from you, he knew he needn’t have bothered. Because he knew you didn’t really care. He wasn’t even sure, sometimes, if you knew what you were eating, because you barely stopped talking to shove it in. You spoke around the food in your mouth and whirled your chopsticks around as you gestured. You picked things off his plate and dropped pieces of your own food onto it. You had this way of creating a world around yourself, such that he forgot where he was; he forgot there was anyone else around, anything else to think about. And he realised he could have taken you anywhere and it would have been just exactly this good. Because it was you. 

“Do you want to go for a drink or something? I looked up a couple of bars not far from here,” Yoongi said as he led you, your hand in his, from the restaurant. 

You leant up against him, shook your head and pouted. 

“No?” 

You shook your head again. 

“Ice-cream?” 

Not that either. 

“Ok... Do you want to go home?” 

“Yes, please.” 

Yoongi seemed surprised and you saw his eyes dim and realised—too slowly, clumsily for too much wine—that you had not exactly said what you meant. 

“I want to go home with you, please,” you clarified, still pouting up at him. 

“Oh.” 

It took Yoongi a couple of seconds to recalibrate, then he smiled down at you with a twinkle in his eye. 

“Miss Fucks on a First Date, is it?” 

You punched him playfully in the arm and he didn’t bother to act like it hurt.  

“Do you want a drink?” Yoongi offered as you slipped off your shoes inside his apartment. 

You shrugged. You would have one if he wanted, but you didn’t need one. You felt lush and warm and relaxed enough already. And truthfully, you were at home now, in the privacy of his apartment; you didn’t want to waste a minute with your mouth on anything that wasn’t him. 

You kissed him, soft at first, because you did want to fuck on your first date, but you weren’t an animal; you had some patience. Or, that’s what you thought as you pressed your lips against his, but the thought washed away like writing on the sand as soon as you tasted him. All your impatience, all your greed, all your excitement came rushing forward, into the fray, a tsunami of feeling, all good, all for him, all surging through you like a stampede. 

“I never,” you started, interrupting yourself with another kiss, one more. “I never want to stop kissing you.”  

“Then don’t.” 

You moaned into his mouth and pressed your body against his, suddenly too warm, hot, the fabric of your dress burning where it brushed your skin. You pushed Yoongi’s jacket off his shoulders and pulled at the knot of his tie. He laughed against your lips and pulled back. 

“You know you’re just making it tighter?” 

You whined and let him take over, deftly undoing the damage you’d done and loosening it properly, pulling it through the collar of his shirt and dropping it on the floor. You thought that was quite long enough to not be kissing, to not be held so tight against him, you could practically feel his heartbeat in your chest, but he held you back.  

When he started walking away from you, you rushed after him, grabbing his hand as he opened his bedroom door. 

“Cherry?” he called softly, padding over to the bed, where she was curled up on the pillow. “You have to get the fuck out of here, ok?”  

She ‘mrowed’ at him and rolled onto her back, exposing her exquisitely soft underbelly for strokes, purring when Yoongi put his hand on her. You thought to yourself that you would quite like to be the one purring under his touch, but had to accept that being jealous of a cat was insane, even for you.  

“Come on,” he said encouragingly, lifting her up and walking away from you yet again, taking her out to the living room and placing her on the sofa.  

“You mean you don’t even give her a free show?” you asked when he returned to the bedroom. 

Yoongi’s face flattened and he looked at you, pretending not to be amused.  

“Would you like to fuck in front of my cat?” 

You jumped up and skipped over to him with a giggle. 

“No, thank you!”  

You wrapped your arms around his neck and wasted no time reconnecting your mouths. Yoongi, now the cat was out of the room and the door firmly shut, seemed as impatient as you were, his hands sliding under the skirt of your dress and up, slipping beneath your underwear and squeezing at your backside. His mouth moved to your jaw and then your neck, sucking soft kisses into your skin, holding you firmly close to him. 

You were impatient because you wanted more, more, and even more of him and you wanted it now. But you also wanted each moment to last. Every time his lips met your skin, they felt softer; every time his tongue rolled over yours, he tasted sweeter; every time his hands squeezed, you felt your heart race a little faster. You wanted him immediately and you also wanted it to last forever. You couldn’t get enough of him. 

He moved his hands upwards, outside your dress, and made light work of the buttons at the back that had honestly taken you forever to do up by yourself. You hummed. 

“You’re good at that.” 

“Hm?” 

“Good with your fingers.” 

He chuckled and flicked you lightly with one hand whilst his other freed a button from its clasp.  

“Is that right?” 

“Shut up, you know what I meant.” 

“I know exactly what you meant.”  

You shivered, even in the warm room, in the bright light of the sun streaming in through the window, when he pulled your dress off and you let it pool on the floor. You didn’t have time to be self-conscious, even if you might have otherwise, because Yoongi was on you, pushing you towards the bed until you were flat on your back, his mouth exploring your body as if he’d forgotten every inch of it in the last week. He hooked his fingers around your underwear and tugged down; you shuffled in response, lifting your hips and wriggling out of it in a way that was less than dignified, and less than efficient, but you didn’t want Yoongi to move off you, didn’t want to sit and then stand so you could do the job properly.  

Naked, again, beneath Yoongi, fully-clothed, you held tight to his shirt collar and hoped he would let you know what he wanted. You wanted to let him lead. 

And lead he did. He pulled one of your hands to his shirt buttons and you experimentally popped one open. He led your hand to the next one. You worked your way to the bottom, pulling the ends from his trousers, kissing him: his cheek, his jaw, his neck. He wouldn’t look at you and you could see the red on his ears; if you pressed your hand against his chest, you could feel the thump of his heart like a hammer.  

“Baby,” you whispered as you slowly slid your hands under his shirt, his body warm against them, soft, not smooth.  

He gave no reply and you nudged him gently with your nose. 

“Baby, look at me.”  

It took seconds that felt like minutes before his eyes met yours. They were guarded, unsure, a little bit afraid. You kissed his lips and smiled. 

“We can stop here,” you reminded him but he shook his head.  

“Go on.” 

“Are you sure?” 

He nodded but his eyes were elsewhere again.  

You pushed your hands along his chest, around his shoulders, forcing the shirt to fall to the bed. You let your hands see him first, your lips still employed on his neck. He was soft and warm and the dip of his spine slightly damp with sweat. You felt them before you saw them, laddering down his arms, criss-crossing his chest, a handful near his hip that were rough and scabbed, still healing.  

It hadn’t occurred to you until that moment that you had never seen Yoongi in a T-shirt. That he always wore long sleeves. You hadn’t noticed. Now you knew why. 

Yoongi’s face was pink now, a little pained, uncomfortable. Embarrassed. Yoongi wanted to burst into flames and drown himself both at once. He didn’t dare open his eyes because he knew he’d not be able to see for tears. He was holding his breath, waiting for something he desperately didn’t want to happen, even though it always had. The shock, the disgust, the reluctance, the holding at arm’s length. 

You took his hand and kissed his palm, kissed the single, thick, raised scar on his wrist and all the smaller ones that followed. You turned him around, guiding him gently so he lay against the headboard, so you could kiss him all over, each and every one of them.  

“Babe,” you called to him, crawling up his body until you hovered over him, resting on your hands.  

Then you lowered yourself on top of him, skin to skin, and stroked through his hair. 

“Hey,” you tried again and Yoongi nodded slightly. 

“Yeah, I’m here.” 

“Are you ok?” 

He nodded again.  

“Gonna look at me and say that?”  

When he looked at you, it was a Yoongi you had never seen before. Shy and defeated and embarrassed and sad and there was something hurt in his eyes that almost made you angry – because no one was allowed to hurt him. That wasn’t supposed to happen.  

You kissed him once and then again and he cleared his throat lightly. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Are you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Yoongi...” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Do you want to stop?” 

“No.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Some of the hesitation in his face left him then and he looked at you. 

“Have you changed your mind?”  

It was a little defensive, the barest hint of a challenge in his voice. 

“No,” you answered. “Why would I have changed my mind?”  

He looked away again, not answering, though you didn’t need him to. You both knew. But that would never have changed your mind. He could have been covered in slime or secretly a lizard-person and you’d have been just as soft for him as you were now.  

Though you were glad that he was neither.   

“It doesn’t bother me,” you continued. “Well, it does--” You noticed the clench of his jaw-- “because I know what it takes to do it...” You traced your finger lightly over the scars on his arm. “I know exactly how it feels and I hate that you know, too. I wish I could take it all away from you. So that bothers me. Because I don’t ever want you to feel like it’s something you have to do.  

“But-” you pushed yourself up a little, sitting on his lap and pressing your hands to his chest- “actually, also, they’re proof you’re still here, y’know?” Your hand circled his wrist and you pressed your thumb against the worst scar there. “You might not have been. Any one of these could have been the last one, right? But they weren’t. It’s like... every time you do it, it’s a little bit of effort towards staying alive because there’s something worse you could do but you’re not doing that. So it’s proof. Proof that you’re here and trying and you’ve been trying and I, for one, am very glad you are still here. More than glad.” 

He didn’t reply. You shrugged. 

“And you’ve seen mine. My body is not exactly unscathed.”  

“There’s nothing wrong with your body.” His voice was stronger, more like his own. 

“And there’s nothing wrong with yours.” 

Yoongi had to get out from underneath you, had to stop you looking at him, at least for a moment. He knew that it had to happen, that you had to know, but this was too much. Too much of what he didn’t want and not enough of what he did. He didn’t want to talk about it or think about it. His chest was tight and he felt unsteady and he so badly just wanted to get back to you: you, naked in this bed, with him. 

He sat up and his arms came around you and you relished the feeling of your skin on his, nothing but warmth between you. He kissed you, insistent this time, impatient again. He wanted you on his tongue, in his hands, enveloping him. He wanted to serve himself up on a plate for you, kneel and kiss your feet; he wanted to lose himself completely in the sound of you coming undone.  

You shuffled off him and fumbled at his belt, at his zip, pushing them to the floor. You barely noticed the skin there, that was really more scar than skin; you didn’t see the light lines and the dark ones, crossing and re-crossing, thickening, fading, all over. Because it didn’t matter to you. That he wasn’t fresh out of the box, perfect and unblemished. No one was. And you shared a pain; the pain that led to these blemishes, these marks, these scars, it was yours, too.  

So you didn’t see them as they were un-covered, as he stepped out of his clothes, as you took his cock in your hand. Hot and heavy, you pumped slowly, but Yoongi had other ideas.  

He lay you on the bed and spread your thighs, trailing kisses up one side and down the other. You shivered when his hot breath hit your core and again when his mouth met your lips, his tongue licking through your folds. The pleasure felt brand new as he drank you in and you felt the exact right amount of drunk.  

If you’d been sober, this would have been too quick; you’d have been too easy, too alert. It would all have been over too soon. But the alcohol blurred the edges, dulled your senses just enough to allow you to luxuriate in it: the soft, wet pad of his tongue brushing over your clit, then hard as it pushed inside you; the press of his kiss-plump lips, their seal as he sucked at your swollen bud. Like swimming through champagne, everything was fizzing and golden.  

The sun hit Yoongi’s head, so bright it made his black hair brown and it shone. You tangled a fist in it, pulling his mouth closer, tipping your hips and he flicked his eyes towards you. They were deep and glazed and only half-open, his tongue still pressed against you. You whined and rolled your hips, then did it again and he let you rut against his mouth until all your pleasure was coiling tight, down into a heavy ball in your core.  

Then he pulled back and shifted his weight, lifting a hand from your hip. 

“Good with my fingers, right?” he said, a lopsided grin on his face, mouth sticky and shining.  

“Y-e...eess.” 

You answer was punctuated with the slip of those fingers inside you, and your breath hitched by the curling of those fingers, the pressing of them against your front wall. Yoongi lowered himself again and put his mouth back around your clit, the suction hard and sure. You were squirming now, all your muscles tightening, everything drawing down, deep into your core before bursting forward in a wet rush of heat.  

You sighed as your limbs flopped against the mattress and your chest heaved. Yoongi wiped his mouth and knelt back, similarly breathless. He took a hand to his cock and squeezed lightly at the base, hissing slightly as he did.  

You slithered off the bed, to your knees, and tapped Yoongi’s knee, asking him to turn towards you, reaching for him, for his dark, heavy cock, your mouth growing wet at the mere thought of it.  

Yoongi looked hesitant. 

“You don’t have to,” he said. 

You tipped your head to the side and frowned. 

“But... I want to, though?” 

He hesitated a second longer and you thought he was going to say no, but he turned and you did nothing to hide your enthusiasm. You pressed a kiss to the tip and let your tongue lick at the pre-cum dripping from it. Yoongi grunted and you grinned because it had actually been a long time since you’d had this kind of fun. 

It had been a long time for Yoongi, too, since he’d had his dick in anyone’s mouth. He couldn’t even remember the last time. He’d forgotten the heat of it, the softness and strength of a tongue, the looking down at them looking up. It was frankly criminal, he thought, that you could be so cute with a cock in your mouth. It was every bit as good as he might have dreamt, as hot and wet as he might have imagined. You pushed forward and he could feel the back of your throat, see the tears sparkling in your eyes, caught on your lashes. 

He had to stop looking. He tipped his head back and studied the ceiling. He clenched his fists and tried to slow his breathing down because, god, it had been so long and it was you. It was you and you had kissed him all over and you were looking up at him with wet stars in your eyes and your mouth was doing all that to him and he closed his eyes. Then you moaned with the tip of his cock at the very back of your mouth and he almost lost all control. 

He swore, his throat tight, his thighs twitching. He placed a hand on your head and pushed back your hair, tugging ever so slightly to pull you off him. You wiped your mouth and grinned up at him; it was such a sweet, filthy gesture that he almost came again. 

“You ok?” you asked and Yoongi fell to his knees. He answered with a kiss, licking into your mouth, pulling you against him. 

“Yes,” he answered, mumbled against your lips. “Want to fuck you now.” 

“Yes, please.”  

And it was everything you had wanted. Everything you had forgotten sex could be. Yoongi held you close and fucked you slow and you kissed him and caressed him and the world could have fallen apart outside and you would neither have noticed nor cared.  

There was something tearing inside Yoongi and he didn’t know what to do about it. Because you were holding him tight, pulling him so close to you, kissing him and moaning into his mouth and no one had wanted him this close, this soft, this slow for a long time. Ever. He had tried to pace himself before, tried not to rush through it but it was a blur to him now, the frenzy and the nerves and the uncertainty of it all rendering it choppy and indistinct. Whereas this was full high-definition. This, you, the way you touched him and looked at him, the way you said his name... it was like a dream. Like something he never thought he would have. The luxury of your warm body so close to his; the indulgence of your lips against his and your eyes sparkling like you had never seen a sweeter sight than him. That you wanted him. That you wanted him and let him know it. That you wanted all of him, as you ran your hands down his arms, as you squeezed at his chest and pressed your hand against his back, pulling him closer.  

Because it wasn’t just physical. It wasn’t just the thrust of Yoongi’s hips, his cock buried deep in your wet cunt; it wasn’t just the slap and slick of damp skin and arousal; it wasn’t just the pleasure you felt in your core expanding outwards, the heat in your blood, and tingling in your toes. It was all-encompassing; it was everything. It was this person who knew you, all the bad bits as well as the good, knew you and saw you and held you like you were precious. It was feeling safe and cherished and valued. It was knowing that your feelings were reflected, returned, reciprocated. It was the sweetness of finding someone who lit you up and being able to light them up the same way.  

When you lay, side by side, spent and sated, you felt like you were glowing. You rolled onto your side, into Yoongi, as he rolled into you and you kissed him again, for the hundredth time or thousandth, it still wasn’t enough. 

You slept soundly, without dreaming, without waking, until the sun was high in the sky again the following morning. You turned onto your back, throwing an arm behind you as you went, expecting it to hit Yoongi next to you.  

But he wasn’t there. You rubbed your face and pushed yourself into a seated position, assuming he was in the bathroom and would return momentarily.  

Then minutes passed and he was nowhere to be seen. You stood and scanned the floor for your underwear. Your dress was already picked up and placed over the back of a chair; Yoongi’s clothes, you could only assume, he had put in the laundry already. Your underwear was not hiding under your dress. You dropped to the floor and onto your hands and knees, to look down under the bed. 

“Aha!” 

“Aha, what?” 

You hit your hand on the bedframe as you quickly pulled it back and span to face Yoongi, standing in the door with an iced coffee in each hand and a paper bag hanging from his wrist. He looked at you with his eyebrows raised, bemused but charmed. 

You twirled your knickers on one finger.  

“Thought I’d lost them. They were under the bed.” 

Yoongi merely ‘ah’ed and nodded, placing breakfast on the dressing table and swapping his jeans for light pyjama trousers.  

“Did you bring me coffee?” you asked sweetly, knowing the answer. 

“And pastries.”  

You jumped to your feet and gratefully accepted his offerings, taking a long draw from the straw of a coffee so sweet and milky it might as well not be coffee anymore. 

“Do you know how much sugar is in those, by the way?” 

“Yep! That’s why they’re so delicious!” 

“They’ll kill you.” 

You shrugged. 

“Oh well. I died doing what I loved: drinking sugary coffee.” 

Yoongi chuckled and stepped forward until you were within arm's reach. You could feel his hesitation, so you took it from him, stepping into his body and offering him a kiss.  

“Thank you.”  

“Do you want to get back into bed?” 

You couldn’t imagine anything you wanted more.  

* 

You could hear something out in the hall, something maybe like a cat’s purr, but also not a cat’s purr. Some sort of buzzing, intermittent enough that you told yourself you were imagining it at first. But it just kept coming. 

“Do you hear that?” you interrupted Yoongi to ask and you held your hand up for silence as you listened for it.  

A jarring, quiet kind of noise.  

“Sounds like a phone vibrating,” Yoongi offered.  

“Oh fuck!” 

You scrambled, ungracefully, out of bed, still in just your knickers, and found your phone, buzzing against your keys, half falling out of your bag.  

Taehyung.  

“Hi, baby!” you greeted, overly cheerful because you hadn’t checked the time and you were almost certain he was calling because you were late. 

You had planned to have brunch and a debrief. You had forgotten all about it. 

“When are you coming home? I’m bored.” 

You pulled your phone away from your ear and, upon noting the time, realised that you weren’t late at all. Not even close. 

“What do you want, Teddy? I’m seeing you later.” 

“I know, but I’m bored now and you’re a dirty, little stop-out.” 

“Entertain yourself! I’ll be home when I’m home. I'm not leaving now just because you’re bored.” 

He sighed dramatically at the other end of the line. 

“So I suppose it’s love, then, is it?” 

The word made your heart skip a beat and you didn’t turn around, just in case Yoongi was looking at you.  

“Maybe.” 

“You sicken me.” 

“Fuck off. You’re happy for me.” 

“Yes, I am, babygirl. I’m very happy for you but I’m also very lonely and bored. Can’t you just come home a bit early? Yoongi will still be there tomorrow but I am fading away by the second.” 

“Dying from lack of attention?” 

“Exactly.” 

“I’ll be home when I’m home, Teddybear. Try to make it until then.” 

“Alright, but you’ll be sorry when I'm gone.” 

“Extremely. Now leave me alone!” 

He heaved another dramatic sigh before hanging up and you skipped back to the bedroom. 

“Everything ok?” Yoongi asked as you settled back in his arms. 

“Teddy’s being needy.” 

“Do you need to go?” 

“Absolutely not!” You snuggled in tighter and pressed your lips to his chest. “Not until the very last minute, please.” 

Love. You thought about the word when you left Yoongi’s apartment very late that morning. You wanted to say it then and there, tell him, but it felt like a lot. It felt like your usual Too Muchness coming back. You had only been on one date. It was a lot of pressure to put on a person and you didn’t want to pressure Yoongi. You didn’t want to push him. You didn’t want to take control and careen this fledging thing straight into a ravine.  

It felt natural. It felt easy. It felt like everything you had wanted. It felt so right that it was maddening to you that it had taken you so long to see it. But you also understood that that had to happen. The time it took you to see Yoongi like you did now was time you spent getting things wrong and hurting and healing the wrong way and then the right way and you knew that this, this happiness you had that made you glow, that made your steps feel light, it was a result of that time, that patience. So you didn’t want to rush. Didn't want to push. You would still love him tomorrow. And the day after that and the day after that and on and on and on. It could wait. 

* 

Until six days later, when you were sitting on the subway on your way home from work and you snapped. You didn’t want it to wait. You wanted to tell him. And you knew you could. You could say it and he could not and you would survive that. You would understand. And it wouldn’t matter because you knew he was in this, knew he would get there if he wasn’t there already. You chided yourself for waiting at all, because love should never have to wait. Love should be shouted from the rooftops, shouldn’t it? 

So you got off at a different stop and changed lines and you walked as fast as you could to Yoongi’s building and you let yourself in. 

“Babe!” you cried as you hastily kicked off your shoes and rounded the corner into the kitchen, a little out of breath. 

“Are you ok?”  

Yoongi had his apron on, a knife in his hands, vegetables on the chopping board in front of him and it was so sweet, so domestic, a perfect vision of everything you wanted. He was looking at you with concern, as well he might, given you had just burst in, unannounced, in all kinds of a fluster. 

You nodded. 

“Yeah,” you panted. “I just had to tell you. I love you.” You moved closer to him; he put the knife down and wiped his hands on his apron and you held tight to it. “I love you. As in, I am in love with you. I love you so much. And I know, I know, it’s been no time at all and it’s too soon and it’s too quick and you don’t have to say it and I don’t want to put any pressure on but I just want to tell you. I have wanted to tell you and I wasn’t going to because- because all of the above! But I love you and I want you to know that I love you. I’m in love with you, Min Yoongi.”  

He blinked a little and then a bit more. 

“Oh.” 

He sounded surprised and you laughed because you were nervous and because you felt giddy and silly and so in fucking love. You tugged him closer with his apron and kissed him, firmly at first, then softer when he kissed you back and rested his hands on your hips.  

“I love you.” 

He said it quietly, his mouth still close enough to yours that you could feel his lips move with the words. You laughed again and kissed him again and whispered it back to him.  

“I love you.” 

Chapter Fourteen | Masterlist | Bonus Drabble 1

Taglist: @chimmisbae, @idkjustlovingbts @miriamxsworld, @tarahardcore, @simp47koreancrackheads, @xyahrinx, @olyd, @diorh0seokie, @thelilbutifulthings, @acquiescence804 

[nozunhinged]

My Top 5 BL Kisses of Jan (& Feb) 24 + why

Okay, okayyyyy I'm doing this, no backing out. I offically accept that analyzing kisses takes up so much of my brainspace that I can write about it — so here it goes. I'M NOT HIDING ANYMORE BUT OWNING UP TO IT! (lol, chill)

Last year I complained that I didn't get a single perfect kiss since I started watching BL TV shows (until PhayaTharn turned up) and now we're not even a quarter into the new year and I already got FIVE I'm absolutely in AWE about!! FIVE!!

I don't know if it's the actors, directors or coaches who upped their game (probably all of them) but hot damn, all of these are beautiful.

And don't ask me why I'm into kiss-acting so much I have no fucking clue, my first guess is that it's an artform in itself to make this amazing, wonderful, intimate form of touching look as beautiful as it feels — bc let's be honest here, irl kissing rarely looks pretty no matter how great it is! So I think it's just dope when you can see this beauty translated on screen.

So I guess this is peak romance genre for me and with that being said, enough talking, lets get to the kissykissies!

5. TenPrem - Cooking Crush EP. 11

I have to be honest with you, I was a bit confused by the kissing in this show. The tippytoe kiss was cute as heck but we all saw how Off AND Gun awkwardly blinked because they probably had to stay like that for a looooong time. It took the whole magic out of the whole first-kiss-moment. Same with the forced in, reshot makeout-scenes. But the kiss in the kitchen? Looks like they FINALLY got to show what they got.

Ten gently pulling Prem closer, them smoothly moving against each other, Ten closing in even more, the slightly open-mouthed kiss with their lips perfectly caressing each other, Ten with a bit more force, Prem with a bit more heat resulting in the perfect mix...Loved it, mwah.

4. PromNont - Playboyy EP. 12

They are my one Playboyy-couple where I'm like "if they don't end up married and running Playboyy together, starting the revolution of well-payed, insured and safe sex workers I'm gonna riot" even though I know this show will not end nicely for ANYONE.

Anyways, this kiss. Holy smokes they had so many good scenes but this one took the cake. Not just the sheer length of it (but still with perfect timing and breaks).

The slightest suck on Nonts upper lip, Prem literally making Nont sway, Nonts hidden desperation for Prom surfacing from his lips, them slowly but surely turning up the heat and last but not least, Prom grabbing Nonts face just to lean against him...UGH THEM!

(I made those)

3. Myungha & Yeowoon - Love for Love's Sake EP 8

I know I'm not alone in how this show swept me off my feet and hit me right in the feels. But I've gotta say, this kiss hit completely different. Again they kissed for so long but not a single moment felt wasted. It felt like their whole story put in a single kiss. And — I mean that in the most loving and positive way possible — they kissed so amazingly gay. Do you know what I mean?!

There's just this level of love, care and happiness that only queer couples can convey. Sprinkled with a hint of tongue (I saw that Yeowoon 👀) — they absolutely nailed it.

2. AlanJeff - Pit Babe EP. 11

The kiss that made me consider doing this post in the first place. I saw them and shouted THIS IS PERFECT just to realize that I did this a few weeks ago already and it made me spiral a little. In the best way possible because I felt truly blessed once again to have discovered the genre of BL in their golden era!

Because this right here is how you nail an open mouthed kiss my friends. Take notes BL producers. Put this in your textbooks! They both go at the same rythm (slow, careful but so, so loving JUST LIKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP UGH) and same level of touch so their lips caress each other perfectly. Furthermore, Alan knows exactly how to meet Jeff which is also a PERFECT EXTENSION OF HIS CHARACTER! Alan leads, Jeff follows but they meet perfectly and equally. TEN OUT OF TEN NO NOTES!

1. PhayaTharn - The Sign EP. 9

I don't understand the meaning of the "Roman Empire"-thing but I think if I say they are mine, I am correct because they will be the end of me and that's what that means right? I may be biased AF but objectively speaking, this is just an insanely well acted-out scene, PERIOD! And we all know it's thanks to Billybabes out-of-this-world-chemistry!

Phayas desperation translated into this gorgeous lip-clash, so much yearning but softness at the same time but what really got to me was how Tharn immediately melted after their lips touched, how he immediately opened up to him and got completely overwhelmed by Phayas feelings. Chapeau to Babe for showing so much range in a single second. My favorite kiss of the whole series ❤️

I also just realized all these kisses have one thing in common....hands on faces lol.

Well that was fun peeps, thanks if you made it until the end!

[nepentheisms]

You ever find yourself down and out, going through a real dark night of the soul? Well if your name's Vash, then fortunately for you, you've got a Meryl Stryfe on your side.

She came in clutch, and I'm proud of her. Nightow even conveys the moment Meryl's words of resolve reach Vash as a burst of light in the dark. After Vash kills Legato, we see his soul teetering on the brink. He feels truly lost, boxed inside an all-black space, wondering what reason he has to go on living, "What's there left to see?"

And as if in answer to prayer, sparks of light begin to appear around him. As our eyes follow the flow of panels down to the lower left, we're then hit with the impact of the space around Vash brightening dramatically as he hears Meryl's words. Her faith calls him out of the void, and he gets the answer to his question: Here are the people fighting to realize your dream. Here's the woman who declares that she's among those who will share your burden because it doesn't matter if you broke the vow that defined you for so long - you're still worth believing in. And here, right in front of you is a fragment of your sisters' memories - the key to finally bridging the gap between them and humanity. There's so much left to see.

I love how in every version of Trigun, it's the sheer persistence of Meryl's faith that pulls Vash out of his lowest points (I know Stampede hasn't reached this climax in Vash's emotional journey yet, but I think what we've seen with Meryl helping him break Knives' control is a foretaste of bigger things to come). That tenacity and refusal to give up are so central to her character. Once her convictions are set, she's incredibly steadfast in them, and it's this steadfastness that makes the Mary Magdalene comparisons even more fitting.

In Thomas Aquinas' reflection on Mary Magdalene, he calls her devotion "constant," and says "it deserves praise" as a quality that "made her fit to see the angels." Aquinas remarks that while the other disciples left when Jesus was buried, Mary Magdalene stayed because of her "stronger and more burning affection." Thus, she is privileged among the saints as the chosen witness and messenger:

"Notice the three privileges given to Mary Magdalene. First, she had the privilege of being a prophet because she was worthy enough to see the angels, for a prophet is an intermediary between angels and the people. Secondly, she had the dignity or rank of an angel insofar as she looked upon Christ, on whom the angels desire to look. Thirdly, she had the office of an apostle; indeed, she was an apostle to the apostles insofar as it was her task to announce our Lord's resurrection to the disciples."

So how fitting is it that Meryl ends the story as a news reporter and thereby having even more power to tell Vash's story? She has witnessed the most hidden aspects of him (a fact that makes a great point of comparison to the characterization of Mary Magdalene in the extracanonical Gnostic Gospels), and there's so much she could say to help the rest of the world learn to understand him. She now has the resources to share his message on a much greater scale, and in those last few pages we see that the people Vash met in his travels, people like Lina and her grandmother and Badwick's family, are among those watching the broadcast. Meryl gets the word out to others who came to know him directly: He is risen.

"Mary answered and said, What is hidden from you I will proclaim to you. And she began to speak to them these words: I, she said, I saw the Lord in a vision and I said to Him, Lord I saw you today in a vision. He answered and said to me, Blessed are you that you did not waver at the sight of Me. For where the mind is there is the treasure." -Gospel of Mary (extracanonical)

[eleganzadellarosa]

pairing: vampire!au, kyungsoo x fem!reader, dom!kyungsoo x sub!reader, kyungsoo x virgin!reader, Prince!Jongin x reader

genres: smut, angst

words: 14.8K

warnings: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT, MINORS DNI [masturbation, slight spit play, face sitting, squirting, unprotected sex (wrap it up fr), biting kink, pet names (darling, princess, love, baby),choking, oral (m and f receiving), fingering…etc.],cheating, blood (this should make sense)

author's note: I got tired of there not being enough Kyungsoo smut (to my knowledge anyway. If you have some recs, please do share) so I decided to write my own. Plus the teaser pics for cream soda did something to me and I needed to express it through writing lol. There's some plot but we're all here for the smut, and trust me it's smutty. So please enjoy, tell me what you think and thank you for reading <3

part 2 can be found here

Tomorrow was a special day, a day that you longed so earnestly for. Prince Jongin would be visiting again and with the amount of times he’s come over, a proposal was definitely underway. Jongin was a dream come true, the epitome of the “perfect husband". He possessed qualities that one could only ask for while on their knees. From his looks to his status, he was desired by many, yet his heart only yearned for you. It made you blush just to think about everything and how much of a blessing it truly was. The man was gorgeous, from his sun kissed tanned skin, to his tall frame and toned body.

But his physical appearance had nothing to do with why you fell head over heels for him. He was kind, sweet and gentle, something that most suitors only faked while courting their potential spouse. You’ve heard the stories and how many women lost the love for their husbands within the first couple months of marriage only to be stuck with bearing their children until death did them part. That wouldn’t be you though because that wasn’t Jongin--he was different. His personality was genuine and it was apparent from head to toe.

3 months in total counted for the amount of days that he’s visited which was considered standard courting practice for your time period. Your parents loved him and your heart skipped a beat whenever he was close. You wanted no one but him and you knew he felt the same about you. The time drifted by way too slowly and as you lay awake on your bed, your mind ran at 100 miles per minute. Scenario after scenario about how tomorrow would go kept you occupied until your mind finally relaxed enough for you to drift off to sleep.

“Wake up...wake up! It’s half past eleven!”

The sun shined brightly through the window across from you, violently pulling your heavy lids open. Your body tries to coast back into its peaceful slumber, but the person shaking you vetoed your plans. Your eyes once again opening to find said person extremely close to your face, making you immediately sit up as if you were already fully awake. It was Vivian, your servant, but you didn’t like to call her that because she was much closer to you than someone who would do whatever because of your superiority over them.

You were an only child, so she has been the only one around your age for as long as you could remember. She’s the daughter of a previous servant that once lived here but she died before you or Vivian were older than newborns and your parents were kind enough to let her stay instead of leaving her in the hands of an orphanage. You pitied her but she hated when you did so you tried not to show it, but you knew how hard it must have been without a mother. She never admitted it but your family is the only she’s ever really known so she didn’t know what to miss.

“Hurry, you have about 30 minutes before he gets here and you still haven’t bathed!” she says as she tugs at your arm, slightly pulling you off the bed. As much as you thought about him last night, you almost forgot who was coming today. You rushed off into the bathroom, where Vivian already had your bath set. She made sure to add some rose petals to your water, ensuring that your smell would linger every time you passed the prince by.

She left the bathroom after making sure everything was just right to give you some privacy. The bath relaxed you, maybe a little too much and the moment you stumbled into dreamland for the second time this morning, there was a knock at the door. Vivian came rushing in, towels in hand.

“He’s here! Get out right now, you still have to get dressed! And why are you so tired?!”

"I stayed up all night thinking about today, I couldn't help it!" you pouted as you reluctantly stepped out of the tub.

She shook her head while chuckling and pushed you out the bathroom door.

Your heart beat so fast it felt as though it would break through your rib cage at any moment. You both quickly rushed into your room, ready to choose the perfect outfit for today. Being aware of his love for soft colors, you opted for a powder blue peasant cut dress and white corset. You styled your long black tresses in a half up half down style with curtain bangs. The accessories were simple; dangling pearl earrings and a pearl hairpin to match. You weren’t one to wear makeup, but today being the special day that it is, powder set your face and a rose balm on your lips complimented your slightly tanned skin. You stood from your place at your marble vanity and did a small twirl for Vivian to assess the final look. Before she could speak, there was a knock on your door.

“Princess, please come down to the main hall and greet Prince Jongin, he has arrived.” The familiar voice of the butler spoke on the other end of the door. The anxiety began to swell when everything set in but you couldn’t let your emotions get the best of you. Feeling anxious was pointless anyway because you’ve met with Prince Jongin multiple times, but for some reason there was suddenly a heaviness in the air that made your stomach churn. She gives you a nod of approval and you both make your way out the door to head downstairs to greet your guest.

As you walk down the imperial staircase, you see two faces; one familiar and the other not so much. You curtsy in front of Jongin and he takes your hand in his, placing a small kiss on the back.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again Princess. You look gorgeous as always.” he says smiling.

You return his smile and compliments but can’t help letting your gaze fall on the unfamiliar man standing feet apart from him. There was something in the way he stood, something in the way he looked, something you couldn’t put your finger on, but there was something off about him.

“Oh yes, please excuse my manners. Allow me to introduce you to my servant, Kyungsoo. A man of few words, but loyal nonetheless. You shall be seeing him a lot more often I hope?” he says insinuating that you accept his proposal; one which you’d be stupid to refuse.

Kyungsoo bows and makes his way over. Studying the man in front of you, he’s clad in a white blouse, the first three buttons unsecured so a small amount of the skin on his chest shone like the moon peaking out from the clouds. Black slacks, black dress shoes and then three dainty gold necklaces don his neck. His hair was also black, tousled perfectly in an elegant manner. A handsome man indeed, you had to admit, and the sense of mystery surrounding him had you staring for a lot longer than you’d have liked.

He stared back awaiting your move so he may properly greet you, yet here you were stuck, trapped and falling into his deep black orbs. There was a feeling there, something different from when you looked at Jongin. Like the pair whose love was forbidden yet the two couldn’t stay apart. The love could not be portrayed in plain sight but the tension between the two created a impenetrable force field.

Vivian clears her throat next to you which snaps you out of your thoughts. You curtsy and offer your hand to him who gently takes your hand in his. He also places a small kiss on the back, yet he doesn’t break eye contact. The small action making your breath get caught in the back of your throat.

With him being so close, you could smell the fragrance that wafted your way. It was breathtaking, like nothing you’ve ever smelled before. It was so perfect that it seemed to come from his pores, pheromones clouding and intoxicating your judgement.

“The king said he would be waiting for us. We should not keep him any longer.”

The statement from Jongin makes you avert your eyes from Kyungsoo and he removes his lips from your hand. He made your knees like jelly and your heart race a marathon. Your guard was down and you allowed yourself to fall prey to the subtle seduction.

Lunch in the banquet went quite well. Laughs, clinking wine glasses and cutlery colliding with the china filled the large space. Every once in a while those sounds were replaced with sips, breaths and sighs. You caught Jongin stealing a few glances your way when you moved to tuck your bangs behind your ear, making you blush every time. In the meantime, this is what kept your head on straight and you had almost forgot he brought his servant along, until he came in with Vivian to announce that dessert would be served shortly.

Having Kyungsoo in your presence made your posture straighter, if that was even possible. Everything about him made the hairs on the back of your neck erect. You shakily reach for the wine glass in front of you and knock it over, the red liquid spilling onto your dress. You gasp and quickly stand up from your chair and dab the area with the spare cloth from the table. You look up to see all eyes on you and you mentally slap yourself for the embarrassing act.

"Are you okay Princess?" Jongin asks, walking up to you with a fresh cloth.

“Yes, thank you. I must excuse myself, I would hate for my suitor to see me in such a messy manner.”

“Please, do not worry about such trivial things. I will be here when you return so please take your time.”

You smiled and bowed your head before heading toward the exit, Kyungsoo’s eyes never leaving your form. It made your body shudder. For what reason did Jongin bring him along? He was usually by himself but this time he brought his plus one. Was he to act as a test for your loyalty? You would have to keep your eyes on any tricks that he may try to play, you would hate for the prince to back out on the proposal because you couldn’t contain your newfound lust for his servant.

By the time you finished changing into something that wasn’t stained with wine, it was announced that lunch would be ending early. It felt like your fault even though you knew there must have been another reason. Dessert was the only part of the meal that would be missed so it was not that big of a deal.

You searched around for Jongin only to find that he was with your father in his study. A guard blocked the door and informed you that their conversation was important and the king ordered they were to not be disturbed. You thanked him for the information and tried to contain the giddiness you felt rising in your chest. They could only be talking about one thing and you hoped you were right. As you turned on your heels to leave, the guard cleared his throat.

“You did not hear this from me, but Prince Jongin will be staying with us until Sunday.”

Although surprising, it was a logical decision since the journey back for him was quite long and the day was almost over. By the time dinner came around, he had excused himself and settled for a nap instead, further confirming the trip was taxing. You wanted to bring up their conversation over the meal but you knew your impatience would only irritate your father, so finding out would have to wait. If only waiting wasn't so hard.

After dinner, you made up your mind to get ready for bed early so you would have all your energy for a full day with Jongin tomorrow. You enter the bathroom and undress in front of the tub, throwing your worn clothes to the side not caring where they landed. The water was warm yet kissing the temperature of being too hot, but it relaxed your muscles which was much needed after feeling so tense for most of the day. You cup your hand to gather water and run it down your body, taking deep breaths and closing your eyes, the scent of lavender floating through your nostrils.

"Princess..." an unfamiliar voice making you jolt, your eyes shooting open. There was no knock on the door or sound of the door opening. You turn around and see Kyungsoo standing not far from where you were. You quickly sink further down into the tub in hopes that the water would cover your breasts.

"Sir Kyungsoo…what are you doing here?" He walks closer to the tub which ultimately causes you to try and back up, only resulting in your top half being exposed. You quickly cover your chest with your arms and your heart rate flies through the roof.

"Prince Jongin told me to come and check on you and to also see if you needed assistance with anything. Miss Vivian was very kind and told me where you were, although I suspect she didn't think I would be entering. And please, no need for formalities, I’m but a mere servant.” He ends his sentence as he sits on the edge of the large tub. He runs his fingers through your bath water and scoops some up in his hand, your eyes following his every movement.

“You don’t have to be so tense around me darling, I won’t hurt you. I give you my word.” As you look up at him ready to deny his claims, the water he stored in his hand cascades down your back making you gasp. He repeats the action, this time letting his hand run down the damp skin. “I thought your beauty had limits”, he gently grabs your chin with the same hand and leans in closer to your face, “but here you are proving me wrong”.

Not trusting your voice you stayed silent, mentally punishing yourself for letting him get away with this. If he hadn’t been holding onto your chin, your jaw would’ve fallen slack. Your arms were already at your sides when his gaze travels down your body and land on your chest and hard nipples. His tongue peeks out from inside his mouth to wet his lips, and it immediately sent tingles straight to your core. He looks back up at you and smirks before standing and exiting the bathroom.

On the outside of the door, his chest heaved. He suddenly felt restricted in his loose clothing. He leaned his head back against the door and ran a hand through his hair. “What in God’s name am I doing?” he thought. He was unlike his normal self, reserved and respectful. You were doing things to him, taking his control away from him. You were the puppeteer manipulating his movements. You were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on and don't get him started on how lovely you smelled. He cursed his heightened sense, only making it harder to resist you. He knew of the intensity of your relationship with Jongin; yet he wanted to snatch the man's happiness away.

He didn’t believe you could be as perfect as Jongin described you in his many stories but seeing you today made him realize they did you no justice. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. The way you moved, the way you spoke, the way you dressed. Each and every thing about you had been perfectly molded by God himself, the only reasonable answer for such a beautiful being. He wanted you, and seeing you in your most vulnerable form in the bathtub made his pants a little tighter.

He knew what he was doing to you, how his actions had heavy consequences on your body. He wanted you enamored, wanted you within his grasp. He fell for you as soon as his eyes met yours and he knew he would do whatever it took to have you. However, he knew of the possibility of that never happening especially since he held onto a secret that only a small few had knowledge of, and that included Jongin.

You hadn’t noticed you were holding your breath until the door shut and the air filling your lungs makes you cough. This man was unpredictable, risky and for your own sake, it would be best to avoid him as much as you could. Your plan to stay grounded against any foul play went down the drain when he got close to you. You hoped everything you felt was all in your head and the consequences weren’t a heavy burden to bear.

For the rest of the evening, any thought of what happened earlier you tried to shove to the back of your mind. It was becoming hard to not think of the man the more you would occasionally pass Jongin in the halls. He still had your heart but whenever you crossed paths, your mind was never on the man in front of you. Instead you seemed to look through and around him wondering if his shadow would be following closely behind. This disappointed you as he was never to be found and you couldn’t help but wonder why. Alas, you were too nervous to ask and truthfully you had no reason to, especially when the man passing you by in the corridors would claim you as his any day now.

“I hope you sleep well Princess. I am grateful to be given the opportunity to see you again in the morning.” Jongin bows and walks past you, down the hall and into his room for the night.

You offered him a small and respectful smile and couldn't deny the warm and tingly feeling you felt when he spoke to you. You sighed deeply knowing that the next few days would be hell with both men in your home.

Midnight soon came and you went into your room to change into your pajamas. You opened the armoire, one that matched the marble pattern on your vanity. An ivory, satin nightgown would be perfect for tonight's weather and also with how warm your body felt. You flopped onto the bed and covered your face with your hands before letting them drop to the sides of your head. Today had put a lot of stress on your mind and rightfully so. Having this strange and beautiful man around had your mind doing mental olympics. "I thought your beauty had limits, but here you are proving me wrong" that line played in your mind over and over and never failed to confuse your heart more each time.

Memory of the way he touched you replayed on loop. The words to stop him were stuck on the tip of your tongue but deep down you wanted him to continue and that's what made it scary. You loved Prince Jongin and your answer to whatever question he had would always be an immediate yes, still you couldn't take your mind off of Kyungsoo. The way he licked his lips as he scanned your body, his touch making you gasp, just everything about his entire being was starting to make you feral even though you only met the man today. Your hormones were getting the best of you and you blamed it on your period possibly arriving soon. The more you thought about him the more the throb between your legs became increasingly obvious and it begged to be touched.

Jumping up and carefully locking the door, you returned to your bed to get comfortable under your blanket and remove your panties. This was so unlike you, but the thought of him sent fire through your veins and there was no other option to satisfy the agonizing thump. Starting with larger circles, they quickly turned into smaller, concentrated ones as you settled into the new feeling. You continued to rub your clit and the slick from in between your folds coated your finger. You wanted more, no, you needed more and the only way to ease your arousal was to insert a finger. The feeling was definitely foreign but it helped alleviate some of the pressure that didn't seem to go away with your earlier actions. The image of Kyungsoo licking his beautiful plump lips popped into your head once more and a small whimper slipped past your lips.

Slightly startled, you quickly sat up and looked around as if there would be an audience watching you touch yourself. You've never once worried about the sound travelling throughout the castle but even if you did it would be useless. The castle wasn't small and with the old stone walls, no sound would penetrate its forces. You settle back into your spot and finish what you started. Knowing no one would hear you, Kyungsoo's name rolled off your tongue as you moaned. You added another finger and began to thrust into yourself faster, back arching off the bed. It didn't take long before the knot building in your stomach snapped and you released your juices all over your fingers.

You lay there in awe of the new sensation, a sheen of sweat dancing across your chest and forehead. Whatever control you believed you had over yourself was snatched away from you in the last 15 minutes and it would be safe to think you'd never get it back. You reach for the handkerchief on your bedside table to clean the mess on your fingers and between your legs. The guilt washed over you when you finally laid your head on your pillow. Your loyalty knew no bounds but now you questioned if it was ever one of your qualities. The thought of Jongin finding out what you did tonight made you cover your face in embarrassment and curl your body into a ball. What if he didn't want you anymore, what if he could tell that your mind hasn't been on him since you laid eyes on Kyungsoo? What would he think of you?

Kyungsoo also had no luck with getting you off his mind. He stood with his hands gripping the sink, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, wondering if the man on the other side was still him. It was becoming too difficult to keep his urge of releasing all the pent up feelings while he was all alone. He thought of how the droplets of water glimmered against your soft and supple skin. He imagined you moaning his name when you gasped at his touch. Every thought sent blood right to his lower organ. It was painful, the way it pressed against the fabric of his pants as if it would break through any second.

He reached down and palmed his erection through his clothes, grip on the sink getting tighter. His breath quickened as he moved his hand faster. It felt good but still wasn't enough to shake the thought of you. He pulled the zipper down along with the waistband of his briefs just enough so his dick popped free. Concentration deep within his brows as he focused stroking his length as if he was within your velvety walls. He felt it, the feeling of ecstasy building up waiting to explode. A few more pumps and he came in his hand, moans hidden behind the lip caught between his teeth. It wasn’t until his lip fell free that he noticed the drops of blood coming from it.

Another look in the mirror and he saw just how much of himself he let go. Piercing red eyes and fangs to match. This was dangerous, you were dangerous. He would never be able to keep his secret to himself with you around, but he craved you. He so badly wanted to have his dick buried deep inside you and his teeth sunk into your skin. It would be euphoric and if he didn't get it, he might just wish for death.

Breakfast the next morning was quite large given that there were extra guests but sometimes you thought it a waste since the abundance of food left over could feed a whole village. As you entered the great hall, you scanned the grand area in search of Jongin. He wasn’t here and you wanted to be courteous and wait for him before you touched your food. You spot Vivian on the other side talking to Kyungsoo and your curiosity got the best of you. Jealous wouldn’t be the right word to use but you felt the need to go over and cut their conversation short no matter how important.

You wave to Vivian as you close in on the pair and her eyes light up when she sees you, making Kyungsoo turn around. He bows and you extend a curtsy.

“Prince Jongin will be here shortly, he’s just having a slow morning so please do excuse him.” Kyungsoo looks at you as if to watch your face for any changes.

“That’s quite alright, you both must be tired from your long journey yesterday. I have no problem with waiting for him.”

He smiles softly and excuses himself, walking toward the exit.

Vivian nudges you and leans in when he's no longer in sight. "Is it just me or is something really weird about him? Or...maybe it's just because he fancies you." her voice being a mere whisper, inaudible if you hadn't been so close to her.

Your head whips in her direction, "Nonsense! He does not! But yes something is very different about him and I'm not sure how one would describe it."

"You may not think so, but I definitely do. He watches you every time you're around. He pays no mind to anything else going on around him and he looks at you like you're rations on harvest day."

You wanted to call her delusional but you knew of the interactions you had with him yesterday and you could never muster up enough courage to tell her about your conflict. As the hopeless romantic she is, the situation would excite her but she would tell you to think logically and remember how much you love and waited for Jongin. Maybe that's what you needed, someone to tell you that it was stupid to even think about someone else. Not now though, you would do everything in your power to deny the feelings budding for the new man and focus solely on your suitor.

Breakfast was served and your stomach grumbled the second the variety of aromas caressed your nose.

"Good morning Princess, I hope I did not make you wait too long. I would have rushed here sooner if I knew you were already present."

You turn to look in the direction of the voice. Jongin stands before you and you offer him your hand. He kisses it and you give his a light squeeze. "Please do not worry about such things my prince. I did not wait long but would have waited longer if you needed.

He smiled brightly hearing you call him "your prince" for the first time and admittedly it felt weird to you even though it left your mouth with ease.

After the meal, everyone returned to their rooms to await the next. You laid on your bed while indulging in your favorite book. There was a soft knock on your door.

"Please come in" you say, shifting your weight from your stomach to your elbows to gain leverage and look in the direction of the door.

To your pleasant surprise, Jongin enters with a bow. You quickly stand up from your bed and run your hands down your dress to straighten it out.

"Oh! Prince Jongin, what brings you here?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk in the garden with me? I love to take walks around noon, the sun is at its highest then."

Perfect timing. This is what you needed, some time completely alone with him so you had no other distractions. "I would love to, I will be right down."

A big smile paints his face and he releases a breath that was anxiously waiting in his chest. "Take your time, I will meet you outside when you are ready."

To say the garden was huge was an understatement but it was the perfect place to relax and unwind. Jongin offers you his arm to hold while you two take the stroll.

"Is the sun too bright? I can ask Kyungsoo to bring an umbrella if you'd li-"

You tighten your grip on his arm slightly startling him, "No no, it's perfectly fine! The rays from the sun are healthy in small amounts and it feels great on the skin." The excuse was corny but it was the best you could come up with.

He offers you a warm smile and extends his hand in front of you as a way to say "lead the way". The last thing you needed was for Kyungsoo to come and ruin this time with Jongin. If the man you had your arms locked with right now knew of the exchanges with his servant, he would probably look at you in disgust. You were going to pass this test one way or another.

Thankfully Kyungsoo was the last person on your mind the entire time. The prince lead most of the conversations but you didn't mind, his voice was just as attractive as the rest of him and seeing him laugh so freely was like a breath of fresh air.

He gave you butterflies and to think that he wanted to marry you and no one else, made you feel like you were on cloud 9. You didn't give much thought to what your husband would look or be like when you were younger, but if you did, you know he would fit the description perfectly.

"We must head back now, it will be time for lunch soon and we wouldn't want everyone looking for us. But before we go-" he pauses as he brings a hand from around his back to reveal a pink rose.

You gasp in delight and grab it, fingers brushing against his. Courageously, you stand on the tips of your toes and place a small kiss on his cheek. "I love it so much, it's beautiful! Thank you."

Although he tried to hide it, the obvious blush on his cheeks told you just how much the kiss excited him. If you wanted to keep the other one off your brain, things like this would have to be more frequent. You didn't want to come on too strongly but there was no denying how much he loved you and you had to do whatever it took to keep your feelings in order.

Now you were curious what he spoke about with your father since he still hadn't proposed. Was he rethinking his decision? The thought made you nervous and wondered if everything Kyungsoo did was simply a test and Jongin knew about it all. It would be futile to ask him now especially if it meant opening a can of worms; you definitely weren't ready for that conversation.

After lunch, Vivian dragged you to her room to interrogate you.

"How was your date with Jongin? Did you hold hands? Did you kiss him? Tell me everything!"

You chuckled at her straightforwardness. "It was amazing! He's such a lovely person, I could hear him talk all day. And...maybe I did kiss him." You had to quickly add more to your sentence before she screamed "But only on the cheek, nothing serious!"

"Oh how great it must feel to have two men longing for you at once." She clasped her hands at her chest and looked up as if she were imagining it.

Your smile dropped. "Vivian again with this? He doesn't like me, I'm just new to him."

"If you saw him today, you wouldn't be saying that." She tilted her head and looked off to the side.

Suddenly your interest was piqued. "W-what do you mean?"

"I mean, he looked like a dog who lost its master. The entire time you were out with Jongin, he walked around aimlessly like he counted down the minutes until you returned. I have seen my fair share of people in love and he's definitely one of them. He wishes he was Prince Jongin, I can see it in his eyes."

You had thought about it and on multiple occasions within the past two days. What would it be like to have Kyungsoo wanting to spend the rest of his life with you? Would you want the other instead? It felt selfish thinking about something like this when Jongin was so nice to you. It felt inconsiderate to think that the thought of Kyungsoo was the one to send you over the edge when you pleasured yourself at night.

You would talk to him tomorrow you decided. You needed to know the intent behind his actions and would politely ask him to keep the relationship platonic.

After bathing, you returned to your quarters. Tonight's attire was a white, sheer, long nightgown that was maybe a bit too sheer to even be considered clothing. You hop into bed and lay on your back, relishing the way the silk sheets felt against your skin. The feeling sent shivers down your spine and memories of your orgasm coaxed you into wanting another. You tried to compel the idea to the back of your mind, but unsuccessfully so when you remembered what Vivian said about Kyungsoo. You spending most of the day with Jongin equating to nothing in this moment. Remembering how disappointed he looked when you waited patiently for Jongin at breakfast. And his voice. It was so deep and sultry, every word laced with passion and you wondered what it’d be like to have him whisper in your ear. He was too intoxicating.

Succumbing to the growing feeling between your legs, you reach under your nightgown and start to rub your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. The initial feeling makes you squirm in place, closing your legs to add to the friction. One finger, then two gets inserted and it quickly turns into you riding the palm of your hand when you curl your fingers upwards to hit the gummy spot that shortens your breath. Whimpers turn into moans and before you know it, Kyungsoo's name is rolling off your tongue again like it's the only name you know. You speed up and right before you can reach your climax, there's a knock on your door. Quickly sitting up and adjusting your appearance, you rush over to the door to open it. You peek around the door, shielding your body as best as you can from whoever awaited on the other side.

It was him. The man whose name you were just moaning like crazy. Your face instantly turns a shade of red when you realize that he could have heard you before he knocked on the door. Angling your body further away from the door, you stare at the man a bit longer before he decides to speak up instead.

"May I come in?" He waits for your response which felt like an eternity. “You seem…busy? I promise it will be quick.” He says slightly pushing the door to allow himself in, becoming impatient with waiting for you to speak up and afraid someone would catch him.

It was the embarrassment and the way you had no strength to debate that made you back away and allow him to step past the barrier of your door. He closed it behind him and leaned against it. It was then that he took the time to realize your almost naked frame in front of him.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to attack you then and there but there were more important things at hand. You noticed how his eyes traveled down your body and you finally became conscious of your scantily clad figure, quickly covering your chest with your arms, forgetting that left your bottom half exposed under the sheer gown.

"What is it that you need Kyungsoo? Perhaps we can discuss this in the morning?"

“No! No…it can’t wait. I have to tell you how I feel now before I go insane.” You look at him confused, heart racing the more he spoke. “You’ve been driving me mad since I’ve first laid eyes on you. You’re more perfect than words can describe. I hate myself for not believing Jongin when he would come home and brag about just how pretty you were. I know you understand how I’m feeling too because even now you look at me with an indescribable want in your eyes.”

He walks closer to you and lets his hands rest atop the arms that cover your breasts. He moves them away from your body and lets his hand travel down your right arm, stopping at your wrist. He brings the hand up to his mouth and sucks on the two middle fingers. His eyes close and he lets out a low sigh.

“And with the way you moaned my name while riding these fingers, there’s no denying my existence ignites you from within.”

He looks to you expecting you to prove him wrong, to tell him he had no business confessing his feelings for you when Jongin lay his head a few rooms away, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t acknowledge that his feelings were invalid and not mutual. So when he leaned in closer, you met him halfway and allowed him to connect his lips to yours.

The kiss was needy and filled with hunger. His tongue swiped your lips asking permission and you opened your mouth giving him access to explore you. He wraps a hand around your neck, squeezing the sides lightly and drags his teeth over your bottom lip making you whimper. He begins to pepper light and gentle kisses across your law line and down to your neck where he nips and sucks on the skin. Tongue sliding across your jugular, a moan escapes your lips. He continues his abuse on your neck and brings his hands up to cup your boobs. He massages the flesh, hands dancing across the skin in search for your nipples, pinching them when he finds them. He suddenly halts his movements, cupping your chin in his hand looking at you for what felt like a millennium.

“My love if you want me to stop now, tell me. Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop.”

You grabbed his hand and looked at him with hooded lids, eyes filled with lust.

“I don’t wish for you to stop and I don’t wish to regret this moment.”

His lips are back on yours, this time more passionate and filled with love. He kisses his way past your neck and down to your chest. He goes to suck on your nipple through the thin fabric, massaging the other between his fingers. There was nothing you could do to hold back your moans and he loved every second. Just as you were about to lock your fingers in his hair, he stops and pulls you in the direction of the bed. He sits down on the edge and pats his lap.

"Come here." he says pulling you forward to straddle him. His hands travel up your thighs and settle on your ass, massaging it as he looks back up at you. "Would it make me selfish if I said I was jealous of Jongin even though I have you here like this?" he says pecking your lips after every couple of words. "You were on my mind all day, I couldn't contain myself. I had to come taste you, I wouldn't be satisfied any other way." He moves your hips to grind on his lap and your head falls back as you moan.

You couldn't let him take over just yet, you wanted a clear mind but with the way he had you feeling, you would bet he cast a spell on you.

"If I said you were, then I'd have to call myself something much harsher." You say through broken and choked moans.

Leaning back, he pulls you up so that you now sit on his chest. "I want you to sit on my face, I need to taste you now before I lose my mind."

Hesitant at first, you couldn't shake the thought of suffocating him. He had gained your trust in the short amount of time though and everything else has felt great so far, so you expected he had already weighed the pros and cons.

As if reading your mind, he pulls you up higher on his chest, “I’ll be okay and you'll feel good if you listen, I promise."

You hover over his face for a few more seconds before you lower yourself onto his mouth, your thighs resting on either side of his head. His licks a long stripe from your entrance to your clit and your hips buck involuntarily. A low breathy moan comes from the both of you. He wraps his hands around your upper thighs to stop you from moving. He laps away at you like a parched dog, making your toes curl. You tangle your fingers in his hair to try and regain your control only to fail miserably when he dips his tongue inside. A loud moan escapes you and you can feel him smile against your heat.

"Kyungsoo p-please, it's too much!"

Of course he doesn't stop and instead rubs circles on your clit with the pad of his thumb. At this point your brain was fuzzy, no thoughts running through it. A few more licks and sucks on your clit and you become undone, cumming all over his tongue as you scream his name. He continues to lick to let you come down from your high and then quickly flips you so that your back is against the bed, his chin glistening with your juices.

"Open your mouth, see how fucking good you taste." Not caring about your image anymore, you open your mouth to allow him to dribble the mixture of his own saliva and your essence down your throat. "Swallow."

Not giving you time to process, he dips down to kiss you, the rest of your fluids spreading over your lips. He brings his hand back to your pussy and uses his fingers to tease your folds.

"You're so wet for me baby, is this how badly you wanted me?" You nod as he brings you back into a kiss, easing one of his fingers in. You felt so good around his fingers and he could only imagine how you would feel once he finally got his dick inside. For now, he wanted to take his time and feel every inch of you. "Come here. I want to feel your mouth on me, see how good your throat feels."

You sit up on your knees and see that he's already removed most of his clothing except for his shirt. You look down and see his dick hard, tip touching his belly button. He was big, bigger than you expected but you've also never been with a man like this so there was nothing to go off of as reference. He positions himself back at the edge of your bed and you sit on your knees in front of him.

He tapped on your left cheek, "Open. Tongue out."

Following instructions, he tapped his length on your tongue, precum leaking from the tip. Everything about this felt sinful and in truth it was, but it was exhilarating and you craved the adrenaline rush. Maybe it was the way he looked at you or the way he handled you, whatever it was, it was becoming poisonous. He sat back on the palms of his hands and you took it as a sign to do whatever you wanted. You've only seen things like this in the books that the maids kept hidden in their belongings; you and Vivian sneaking to read them when no one was looking. You had no idea what you were doing but you knew you wanted to make him feel good.

You lick from the base to the head, seemingly doing something right because he hisses and bites on his bottom lip. You kitten lick and place a light kiss on the head before taking his length in your mouth as far as you can go. He hits the back of your throat, making you gag.

"Good girl. Fuuuck...just like that." he reaches down to grab a handful of your hair but not to force you back down. He so badly wanted to buck up into your mouth but didn't want to hurt you or cum too quickly.

You bob your head and hollow your cheeks, sucking as much as you can before easing your way back down. His eyes are closed and his head is back, veins straining in his neck. You brought a hand up to stroke whatever didn't fit in your mouth and the grip in your hair got tighter. Seeing him like this boosted your confidence and also made you wetter. You were testing his self control and if you kept this up he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going too far.

The muscles in his thighs were starting to tighten and he knew he was close. "I don't want to come just yet, I want to be inside of you." You let go of his dick with a pop, eyes watering and saliva trickling out the side of your mouth.

He pulls you back into his lap and into another heated kiss. Without the barrier from the clothing, the skin to skin sent your mind into a frenzy and it made you throb in anticipation. You mimic what he did to you and dragged your teeth across his bottom lip, earning a deep groan from him. He breaks the kiss and once again lets his lips travel to your neck. He trails the kisses up your jaw and bites your earlobe.

"Would you like for me to fuck you so hard you forget your own name?", his breath is warm against your ear and you were sure you made a wet spot in his lap.

"Please, I need you. I can't take this anymore." You could feel him grow harder beneath you when your begging came out more like whines. He roughly pulls back on your hair, exposing your neck to him and he doesn't miss the chance to suck harshly and almost leave hickeys behind. You moan and grind your hips on him, making him curse under his breath. "Please Kyungsoo, I need you. You make me feel so good, I want you so badly."

He stops his attacks and lifts you off his lap to throw you back onto the bed. He hovers over you staring into your eyes deeply. "Are you sure you want to continue? We don't have to."

You were past the point of questioning if you wanted him anymore and you weren't going to pass up the opportunity after getting this far. You wanted your first time to be with someone you chose and right now that was him. "My heart would never forgive me if I said no and I'm not one to not give it what it wants."

He smiles and kisses you once more, "I'll go slow my love, I'll take care of you." He eases his way inch by inch, making sure to give you time to adjust to his size; constantly watching your face for any signs of discomfort.

He was stagnant, not minding that you took your time to get comfortable. You were thankful it didn’t hurt as much as everyone made it seem but knowing the circumstances in which you were doing it, only made it feel like the punishment would be stronger.

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. "Kyungsoo...I want to feel you now."

His pace started slow and steady, ensuring you didn't feel any pain even though you gave him the okay. When you lifted your hips to meet his thrusts, that was all it took for him to speed up. His rhythm is relentless, but you didn't want it any other way. The feeling was beyond words and if there was a way to pause time in this moment you would have done so.

"Look at me while I fuck you. Close your eyes and I'll stop" he says, holding the back of your head so you could look at him. Keeping your eyes open was easier said than done when they closed every time he thrust back in. Every moan you tried to hold back, forced its way past your lips. "Let me hear them, let me hear how I make you feel."

He tried to keep it together, but the way you were clenching around him, he wasn't going to last much longer. It all felt like a dream and it started when he walked through your door. He didn't plan on this but hearing you moan his name before he knocked and seeing the way your fingers glistened when they wrapped around the door only corrupted his thoughts.

"This pussy is mine, tell me it's mine. Tell me you want me to fuck you like this forever."

The combination of him fucking you so deeply and the way he spoke to you made your head spin and you knew your orgasm was approaching for the second time tonight.

"It’s all yours Kyungsoo! Fuck me like this forever, make me yours forever!"

You didn't think it was possible, but his thrusts felt deeper and harder. His head went down to your chest and he sucked a red spot in a place that only he’d know. The blood rushing to that area had him thirsting for more and before he let his teeth break the threshold, your walls fluttered around him violently.

You were sure you saw stars, your legs shaking. It took a few more thrusts from him before he pulled out and finished on your stomach.

Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

It was a close call at most or perhaps it was a sign that he was letting his guard down too much. You were pushing him to the edge of insanity so much so that the side of him he spent so much of his life trying to hide was easing its way to the forefront. If he wanted you to trust him, he could never let you know of the real him.

"That was the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life." It came out almost monotonously but you had no strength to put more feeling behind it.

He smiles and reaches to your bedside table for anything to clean the both of you off. In contrast to how he was a few minutes ago, he was extremely gentle as he wiped the mess you created. Watching him made your heart flutter, more than it did when you were with Jongin. Oh no, Jongin. He hadn't crossed your mind since your walk in the garden with him earlier. The guilt came flooding in and it made you feel sick to your stomach. You were supposed to be marrying Jongin, not Kyungsoo and now with what you've done, you feel like you've ruined your chances of that ever happening.

Kyungsoo notices the shift in your mood and pulls you into a hug. "What's wrong my love? What is weighing heavily on your mind?" he asks, placing a kiss to the crown of your head and small strokes to your back.

"What about Jongin? How will I ever marry him after what we've done tonight?"

He stops rubbing your back, making you look up at him. "I will not be informing him of what happened tonight. It doesn't matter who you marry, you're mine for as long as we live."

You push yourself off of him, "How would that even be possible? I cannot have these relationships coincide."

"He doesn't have to know, and he won't. I can't let you go now that I have you. I want you and I will always want you till the day I die." He cups your face in his hands. "Even if I have to wait 100 years, I will never stop loving you."

Spending this night with Kyungsoo made you unsure of what you wanted, but you definitely weren't sure if what you wanted was Jongin anymore. You wanted to marry him but thinking of being able to have Kyungsoo whenever you wanted him made your heart beat with excitement. The thought made you feel like a whore, but you never meant for any of this to happen. Kyungsoo was irresistible and thinking back on it, he was also very sweet and caring. There was no way you could marry Jongin and be with Kyungsoo, without him or anyone else in your castle finding out about it. All of it was too confusing but for now you wanted Kyungsoo as much as you wanted to marry Jongin, you just wish there was a way to make both things work.

The following day Jongin was stuck to you like velcro which you didn't hate but him being around meant that Kyungsoo was around too. You couldn't help but feel guilty and now there was no reversing it. You didn't regret your night with Kyungsoo but it only complicated things more. Every touch or glance in your direction from Jongin never went unnoticed by him, and he watched you like an animal would stalk its prey. The eye contact was another thing. Each time your eyes met his, it was like reliving your moments with him in your bedroom. You felt your face and body heat up and you prayed the blush didn't show on your cheeks.

It also didn’t help that he looked extra good today. Instead of a blouse, he wore a black vest over a white button down, a single chain accentuating the breast pocket. It fit him so nicely and complimented his wide shoulders.

Jongin sits up in his seat and leaned over the table, resting his head in his hand. "I'm going to go horseback riding, would you care to join me Princess?"

"Sure, I would love to. I haven't been riding in some time though so my skills may not be to your liking."

"Ah well, you can ride on my horse with me if that is best. I wouldn't want you to feel as though you're a burden, even though you truly wouldn't be."

You nod in agreement although you weren't really sure what you just agreed to with feeling Kyungsoo's eyes piercing the back of your skull. It drove him crazy to be this close to you and not be able to touch you. After last night he wasn't sure how he would live without you and tolerate seeing you with another man. Jongin didn't know how good he had it, he could walk around with you freely and not be judged. That's what Kyungsoo wanted, you all to himself. You were his, not the property of a prince. He reluctantly followed the both of you outside and awaited his next order.

“Kyungsoo, do you mind helping the Princess with her boots while I go get my things? I want her to be as comfortable as possible.”

He bows his head lightly and grabs the boots to put on your feet. You take a seat on the small bench between the tall, green hedges that lined most of the garden. He kneels on one knee in front of you and places your foot on top of his thigh. Jongin was barely out of eyesight when he lifts your dress high on your legs. You shoot him a shocked look when you feel him pepper kisses up your inner thigh.

“K-kyungsoo, w-what are you doing? Someone will see…” you try to push his head away before you lost yourself in the feeling. He didn’t take heed to your warning and nipped at the soft skin, letting a moan rip through you. He keeps his eyes on you the entire time. His dick can’t help but twitch watching the way you try to keep your composure and with knowing how easily you can both be caught at any second. He wastes no time to push your thighs further apart while dragging his nails down your other leg.

“P-please, not now. Not here.” was all you could manage to say while trying to stay coherent. You wanted to scold him for being so bold but every time you felt his mouth get closer and closer to your clothed heat, all thoughts of reprimanding him left your head.

You look down to see his eyes on you and seeing him so content between your legs did something to you. He hooks his fingers around the fabric of your panties and pulls them to the side to give himself better access. He licks long and achingly slow stripes through your folds. You had lost the battle of trying to keep yourself together and already had one hand tangled in his hair.

You bit down on your other fist to hush the sound of you moaning but the more he ate you out, the louder you became. As if he knew you wouldn’t be able to control your volume, he slips a finger inside and curls it upwards, hitting the spot that made you weak. At this point you were riding his mouth with the way your hips bucked up against his face. He added another finger and sped up the thrusts. He switched between sucking on your clit and fucking you with his fingers. You were so close now that you could taste it, however he suddenly halted his movements and quickly slipped on both of your boots. You open your mouth to protest but he gives you a look that kept your lips pressed together tightly. He fixed your dress and licked his lips to rid himself of any evidence that he just had his face nestled between your legs.

Jongin returns mere seconds later with a saddle nuzzled under his arm. “Are you okay Princess, you look a bit flushed? Are you feeling under the weather?”

Embarrassing was an understatement and knowing you were in a noticeably messy state, brightened the blush on your cheeks. “No no, I’m alright. Perhaps I should start wearing more sunscreen?”

Your answer seemed to satisfy him as he offered his hand to you to lead you toward the stables. You look back at Kyungsoo who bows as Jongin takes you further away.

Jongin had frequented the palace enough to have claimed one of the horses as his own. It was a beautiful black Friesian horse he named Trophy. When you entered the stable, the horse began to whinny seemingly knowing of Jongin’s presence. He offered it pats and rubs over its head and body before placing the saddle on its back. Making sure it’s secure before hopping on the horse and grabbing your hand, letting you sit in front of him so that he had complete control.

You were practically sitting in his lap with how close he was. You thought you would be behind him and find security in holding onto his waist, but the tables were turned and his arms rested on either side of you as he held onto the reins.

“Are you comfortable Princess?” he looks from around you, almost resting his head on your shoulder. It made your heart flutter and in the moment you wanted to turn your head and lock your lips with his.

“Yes, thank you. Are you comfortable as well?” You heard the smile in his voice when he agreed to your question.

“Please let me know if you need me to slow down or if you’re ready to return.” And with that he snapped the reins and the horse was off, slowly walking out of the stable.

For the remainder of the ride you couldn’t help but notice how good of a horseback rider Jongin was. Every move that he made was precise and calculated and it was like the horse was made just for him. The more the horse picked up speed the more Jongin would rut against you from the force of the gallop. The constant friction was starting to turn you on and you could only imagine what went through his mind behind you.

Although wanting to turn around and straddle him, you were having fun. Horseback riding used to be one of your favorite pastimes and now you wonder why you ever stopped. It was the adrenaline that came from the speed and the wind that blew through your hair that made you feel like you could do it all day. He made Trophy come to a halt and you took a look at your surroundings. It was an area that you’ve never seen before and you questioned whether you were still within the kingdom walls.

“Oh my, this is breathtaking! This doesn’t even feel like home.”

“But it is, it’s just very far away from the palace. I learned about this place while out on a ride and it’s been my favorite to visit ever since. I can bring you here often if you’d like?”

You nodded and he helped you off the horse. It was like a mini oasis within this small forest. The trees were all covered in fresh blooms, a waterfall flowed down into a midsized pond which held some of the clearest water you’ve ever seen.

“Do you like swimming Princess? We can take a quick dip before returning.”

You quickly nodded and a smile lit up his face. He took your hand and lead you closer to the edge of the pond. He began unbuttoning his sky blue blouse and pulled it over his head, revealing his toned abs. You knew he was fit but never knew just how sculpted his body was. Seeing him like this made your insides stir, not dismissing how you finished undressing him with your eyes. He guided you into the water slowly and never took his eyes off you. The water sloshed around you both as you moved further in, your dress already soaked from your waist down. He let go of your hand to give you more freedom and you immediately submerged yourself to drench your entire body.

When you came up, you playfully swatted some water on him causing him to chuckle and mimic the action. The splash fight continued for a few minutes before you both grew tired of clearing the dripping water from your faces. He swam closer to you and grabbed you by the waist. He looked down at you, a mixture of love and lust in his eyes. Looking at you for a few seconds more, he dipped down and placed his lips on yours. His lips were soft and he moved them in such a rhythmic manner, much more innocently than Kyungsoo. You bring your hands up to cup the back of his neck and deepen the kiss.

He pulled you into him some more and slid his tongue over yours, earning a moan from you. He kept one hand on the small of your back and the other rested on the back of your head as he kissed you hungrily. He broke the kiss, chest heaving and lips red.

“I love you” he says as if he couldn’t contain the words in his mouth. He looks at you scared as if he had made a mistake saying it to you.

“I-I love you too Jongin.” You didn’t lie when you said it back. You’ve known him for some time now and being on edge waiting for his proposal further proved just how much you cared for him. The problem now was you found yourself falling in love with Kyungsoo too which was for lack of better words, insensitive.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I can’t wait to make you my wife.”

It was like an arrow shot through your heart as he finished his sentence. Here he was pouring his heart out to you and last night you tangled bodies with his servant whom he trusts. Your conscience scolded you and you wanted to clutch your chest to stop the pain.

“We should start heading back now, the sun will set soon.” he says already adjusting the equipment on the stallion.

Thankfully you sat in front of him so he wouldn't question the tears that streamed down your cheeks. Guilt was hitting you hard, wishing you never made the mistake but not regretting your time with his right hand man.

Kyungsoo is already waiting when you and Jongin return from the stables, his face stoic but his eyes told a different story.

“Please grab the Princess a towel so she may dry herself off, we wouldn’t want her to catch a cold. I shall be inside doing the same.” Jongin walks up to you and kisses your forehead. “I had a great time today and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

You exchange smiles before he walks away and turn your attention to Kyungsoo whose face is twisted.

“You smell like him. Too much like him.”

"What? How?" You looked down, grabbing the closest piece of your dress to see what he smelled on you, yet to your senses you only smelled wet.

Ignoring your question, he picks a towel up from the glass table and pulls you in by your waist. Your hands fall onto his chest and he begins by drying your hair. “Why are you so wet? What did you do with him? You can see right through your dress!”

He wasn’t lying, your dress stuck to you like paint so nothing was left to the imagination. Your nipples poked and prodded their way through the material.

“We went swimming…”

Visibly annoyed, he rolled his eyes and continued drying the rest of you. The sky was already beginning to get darker with the sun declining, but it seemed darker than it should have. Large drops of rain started to fall from above instantly darkening spots on the concrete path. You look up and open your hands to catch a few. You really should get inside before your immune system gave up on you.

“I’m going to go inside.” You go to walk away but he grabs your wrist and pulls you back toward him, catching you again by the waist.

“I'm sorry but I can't help being jealous. If you can’t handle being with me, at least don’t make it so hard for me to stay away from you. You’re driving me crazy, I can’t live without you.”

It was confusing. How could your heart love someone you’ve only known for less than a week? And it was starting to become more so than the person you’ve known for 3 months. How were you to solve this matter when there was no logical answer; always concluding with one or the other?

"I-I don't know what to say."

"Say you love me. Love me forever."

His lips brush gently against yours, once again weakening your knees. You gently shove him away.

"I want to...but you know I can't."

"Hm, I understand. It's best you go in now, you've been out here long enough." He bows slightly and walks away from you. His heart ached, all he wanted was to be able to love you without consequence. He's never hated his life so much than he did now.

"Oh to be reborn again as something other than a peasant" he thinks. Better yet, to be reborn as Jongin would satisfy him the most. All he wanted was you, all he needed was you and knowing he couldn't have you had him torn between anger and sadness. He was becoming desperate now, willing to do any and everything to split you two apart. He hated that he was so weak for you, for being so unlike himself. Tomorrow was the last day of their stay and he was aware of the plans Jongin had with you.

A proposal. A promise of a union between two parties. "In sickness and in health; till death do us part", he would have to hear you say those words and see you seal them with a kiss. It would be torture but he wasn't blessed with royalty nor in a different body and this would be his punishment for letting things get so far with you.

It was late and you have long since been dry. Having taken too many sips from the glass of water next to you, it was best to make a quick trip to the bathroom before you got too comfortable in bed. A single candle in its holder dimly lit your way, your feet slapping against the cold marble flooring. Someone clears their throat softly next to you making you almost drop the candle.

"I'm sorry if I startled you princess." Jongin walks up to you, face illuminating in the small light. "W-would you like to spend the night with me? Tomorrow is my last day with you and I would love if I at least got the chance to share my bed with my future wife."

Admittedly taken aback by his request, you would miss him when he was gone and didn't get much time with him with your mind so preoccupied.

"Everyone is asleep so they won't notice."

You followed him after using the bathroom. You had never been in his room before, let alone any of the guest rooms so seeing how different everything looked made you feel like you already lived together.

He grabbed your hand and guided you to the bed and let you climb in.

"Goodnight my love, tomorrow will be a great day" he says kissing your cheek before turning over with his back pressed against yours.

You laid awake too many thoughts going through your mind to settle into relaxation. Based off of what he said, he was sure to propose tomorrow. It excited you, the thought of being a wife but also his wife. You've waited long enough to get to this point and backing down because of some new feelings would not get in your way. This was a test, you thought, and although you've failed most of it, you were going to make the rest count.

There was a shift in weight behind you and now Jongin no longer had his back pressed against yours. There was something hard pressed against your ass, you knowing what it was almost immediately. He snakes an arm around your waist and pulls you closer making his hard on settle in the crevice of your behind. You grabbed his hand that draped over your midsection and gave it a squeeze, letting him know he could continue.

He kissed his way down from your ear to your shoulder. He rolled you onto your back and hovered above you. The moonlight lit the room just enough so he could see your expression. It felt different, being under him versus being under Kyungsoo. It was like darkness and light, Jongin being the latter.

His hand ran down the sides of your body, taking his time to admire every inch. The gentle touches leaving lingering tingles on your skin. He moved back up to caress your face and finally leaned down to put his lips on yours. After kissing you earlier, he knew he wanted another, not being able to wait for the wedding day. Your lips were soft and he loved how your nose would brush his ever so slightly.

You were like a painting in his eyes, each brushstroke carefully placed to form your very image. But something changed in the way you looked at him since his stay. He had his doubts but seeing his close companion look at you the way he did, he knew there was something there. Not something like he had with you, something so much more mature and unadulterated.

He wasn’t going to let his fear obstruct his goal, he was going to marry the love of his life even if your heart leaned more toward Kyungsoo. He took this opportunity to pour his feelings into his actions and he hoped they would properly relay the message.

His hand reached under your night dress and brushed between your folds through the fabric. You bit your lip as he watched your changing expressions.

“Feels good?” He pressed down a bit harder and quickly swiped over your clit.

You nodded and reached down to massage his dick. It felt thick and warm in your hand and his eyes threatened to close from your ministrations. He discarded you of your undergarments and playfully teased your pussy. He wanted to see just how far he could go before you begged him for more. You reached under his pajamas and released his achingly hard dick from its restraints. He hissed as the cold air kissed the tip making him leak more precum.

He finally let a finger dip inside your cave and he quickly added another when he felt just how wet you were. His dick twitched in your hand. To think he would be able to fuck you whenever he wanted had him already making plans for babies.

You stroked him with both hands now, precum making it easier for your hands to glide over him. One hand reached down to cup his balls and gently roll them while the other fisted closer to the head. He was bucking into your hand, dick growing more sensitive by the second.

His fingers already started to speed up to get you closer to your climax as well. You were both breathing heavily and moaning, falling weak to the work you put into each other. His fingers curled up and hit your sweet spot making your back arch off the bed. Your hands sped up the more his did and your orgasms were approaching quickly.

“Fuck, I’m so close please don’t stop”, he pleaded with you adding his thumb on your clit to speed up the process.

Your words dissolved into the air above you as your vision started to close in. You writhed under his touch and chased your high.

“Oh fuck I’m gonna cum, please tell me you’re close” his fingers were thrusting sloppily but he felt your walls tighten, giving him the motivation he needed to push through.

Your stomach balled into a knot ready to snap and when he came down to suck on your collarbone, you moaned loudly as your climax spilled over. You squirted all over his already sensitive dick and he couldn’t hold back the cum that spurted out onto your chest and stomach.

You winced at the emptiness when he removed his fingers. His hair stuck to his forehead, face flushed red. He dropped down next to you, both of your chests heaving.

“Thank you for making this night special, I’m sorry if it didn’t live up to your expectations.”

You felt sad that he thought that way, not really knowing what made his self esteem so low. You look over at him excited to tell him how much you loved it but his eyes were already closed. You rolled over and pressed a kiss to his temple and rested your head on his chest, sleep coming to claim you as well.

You woke up in a daze, unable to tell how much time had passed. You had to get back to your room before morning came, not needing anyone to find you anywhere else. Jongin’s arm wrapped around your torso and his face nuzzled in your neck--you were stuck. You eased your way out of his grasp and tiptoed toward the door, looking back to make sure he didn't stir awake. You took a deep breath before twisting the knob as quietly as possible. The real mission would be getting to your room and not being spotted by anyone. The floor was cold and you wished you wore socks or at least something on your feet. You ran lightly and as quickly as possible with your arms being the only things that kept you warm.

You passed by a room and heard shuffling on the other side so you moved as fast as your feet would allow.

"What are you doing?"

You stopped in your tracks when you heard the voice. You knew who it belonged to and didn't have the confidence to face him. You slowly turned on your heels and saw Kyungsoo standing in the doorway of his room. He barely wore anything so his body was on full display.

"You frightened me, I'm just going back to my room."

He cocked an eyebrow upwards and stepped passed the threshold of the door.

"Going back?" He knew exactly what you meant but he didn't want to accept that Jongin would be ballsy enough to get you caught in the morning just because he wanted more time with you. Yet he knew he'd do the same especially since his heart was already starting to break into pieces knowing he wouldn't see you for a while after tomorrow. This was unacceptable and borderline unfair. “If you can enjoy getting wet with him, stay and get wet with me.”

Your mouth was dry and you truly had nothing to say. He had a way with his words that turned you into a puddle. You stared at him trying to think of something that would make him let you off the hook. He walked over and stared down at you. He leaned in to kiss you softly, conveying a different feeling than he usually does. His hand comes up to rest on the back of your head, tilting his to gain advantage. He pulls back and look at you.

"Don't leave me to deal with these feelings by myself. If I have to live with you being with him, then just for tonight let me be the only one you think of."

How could you say no? After tomorrow, you would have to act like your feelings for him didn't exist. As hard as that would be, unless you wanted to be executed for adultery, it was all you could do. He escorted you to his room and shut the door, being extra careful to lock it. You followed him to the edge of the bed, watching how he removed the rest of his clothing slowly, making sure your eyes never left him. Your eyes were everywhere, from his face, his chest, all the way down to his hardening length. He cupped your face and dragged his hands down to your neck, then to cup your breasts.

He slowly pulled the straps of your nightie down and left open mouthed kisses on any inch of skin that became exposed. Stopping at your nipples, he made sure to suck and massage them before continuing his journey down your body. Soon the gown reached your pelvic bones and he wasted no time in hooking a finger under the waistband of your panties to pull them down with the rest of the material. You were both now completely naked, skin basking in the candlelight. He pulled you onto the bed with him and sat against the headboard making you straddle his lap.

This time you didn't wait for him to make a move and kissed him with your hands linked behind his neck. His hands were all over you massaging circles into the flesh. Tongues wrapped around each other like a waltz, a work of team effort. Your body called for oxygen, the kiss becoming too intense but neither of you cared enough to let go. You took initiative to stop the kiss before it snatched the last breath in your lungs.

"Ride me." he pressed down on your hips as he ground up against your core.

You let out a shaky breath as you leaned forward on your knees and aligned your hole with the head of his dick. The stretch as you gradually eased your way down was magnificent and he bit his lip as he watched your face contort from the pleasure. The more you bounced on top of him the less he could control his sounds. The squelching noise that came from your bodies clashing only added to the vulgar sounds that filled the room. He ran a hand up your back and grabbed a handful of your hair. He tugged at it roughly and sucked and licked on the vulnerable skin on your neck. His other hand came around to grab your ass, digging his nails in and spreading it so your pussy opened more.

Your head was spinning, so much overstimulation, you knew you wouldn't last much longer. His strokes were getting sloppier indicating he was just as close.

"Fuck-I love you so much" he said through grunts. He knew what he wanted to do next based off of your response. If he were to get over you, he'd have to expose his true self even if that meant scaring you away.

"I love you too Kyungsoo~" your mouth hung open and you moaned his name, toes curling from your impending orgasm. You needed just a little more to push you over the edge.

He took that as a sign to carry out his plan. He let the lust consume him fully, baring his fangs, sinking them into your neck and not letting up on the animalistic pace he set. It was painful but it mixed so deliciously with how he rolled his hips into you. Your eyes rolled back and your body tensed up. It's what has your orgasm hitting you like a train, vision turning white. The feeling was incredible even though as you came down from your high, you can't tell what just happened.

Just the image of you in this moment could make him cum, but that combined with the taste of your blood was heaven sent. He had never had anything like it. So fresh, sweet and pure. He never thought living his fantasy would play out so soon but your reaction was even more surprising. He didn't count on you enjoying it and wanted to use it as an escape route, but here he was drowning in the sight of you cumming all over him which lead to his own orgasm. He sucked in a breath, abs contracting as he painted your walls white.

You looked down at him and couldn’t believe the astonishing sight. He looked beautiful, dashing red eyes and canines sharper than a knife. As the few drops of blood trickled from the side of his mouth, everything all made sense now. The strange man you've come to fall in love with these past few days was a vampire. It’s why he carried such a mysterious aura, why he smelled so ethereal, why his presence was so lethal.

He had you speechless and now he was even more scared awaiting your next words. He licked the remaining drops from his lips, eyes wide. “Please say something.” His eyes searched your face for anything but he couldn’t decipher your expression.

“Kyungsoo…you’re beautiful. I-I don’t know what else to say.”

Tears brimmed his eyes knowing you didn’t hate him for who he was. Though now, his ploy of using this to get over you fell through and he had nothing left to try. Truthfully he wasn’t going to try. He loved you deeply and if he had to live with you married to someone else, he would take whatever he could get. You were his forever, he would never allow himself to love anyone else. He hated that he fought for the top spot with Jongin but the heart wants what it wants and as you said to him before he wasn’t going to not give it what it wanted.

Lying to yourself wasn’t an option anymore. You thought you would be scared seeing him in his true form, but it added so much depth to his character that you couldn’t help but be attracted. You knew now that life without Kyungsoo would throw you into a deep depression. You needed him like your organs needed blood.

Morning came and you felt your eyes had only been closed for 5 minutes. When they finally opened you quickly processed that you weren’t where you were supposed to be. There was a loud knock on the door and you looked at Kyungsoo’s sleeping form next to you. Another knock woke him up and he quickly threw the blanket over you and told you to stay quiet and lay down. He put on whatever clothing he discarded last night and shuffled over to the door.

“Oh, sorry to wake you but I’m looking for the Princess, she’s not in her room and I wondered if you knew where she was but it looks like you haven’t left your room this morning.”

You heard Vivian’s voice from under the cover and cursed under your breath. You swore you would make it back to your room last night and ended up staying with the man you definitely shouldn’t be caught with.

“I will be out momentarily and I will help you look for her. Perhaps she is outside or in another area of the castle.” Kyungsoo made up an excuse as fast as his mind could conjure and shooed Vivian away. He returned to you after he closed the door and removed the blanket from your head. “They’re looking for you, you know what today is.”

You got up and gathered all your clothes before making your way to your bathroom unseen with Kyungsoo’s help. He left your room after kissing your forehead and going to tell Vivian that he “found you”.

What a way to start off your proposal day. You’re just glad that Jongin wasn’t the one running around the castle in search for you. Vivian came knocking on the bathroom door a few minutes later.

“Why didn’t I think to check here first?” She says tapping a finger to her lips when you opened the door. “Your father has requested you meet him downstairs in 10 minutes, so we need to hurry.”

After much preparation in so little time, you made your way down to the main hall to see both of your parents, Jongin and Kyungsoo standing there. You knew what this meant and it had your nerves jumping. After such a long wait, you were finally here at the end goal, something you thought to be so far away. Jongin and Kyungsoo bowed when you reached the bottom of the stairs, a big smile plastered over Jongin’s face.

“As you know, Prince Jongin has been coming to spend his hours with us over a long period of time in hopes that he would one day ask for your hand in marriage. Today he would like to go forward with that and make you his wife so long as you should accept.”

A lump formed in your throat as your father spoke. Tears fought to leave your eyes but you held them back as much as you could.

Jongin went and bowed slightly in front of your parents. “Your highness, if you would please allow me to take your daughter as my wife and protect her with my all as her husband.”

Your parents nodded their head, your mother also fighting the urge to cry. You quickly glance at Kyungsoo whose eyes were watching you. You both knew of what you had to do and would have to deal with it for the rest of your lives. So when Jongin stepped in front of you, you knew what came next.

“Princess…will you accept my proposal and spend the rest of your life with me as my wife?” He looks over at Kyungsoo before continuing. “You will have free reign to do whatever you please as long as you promise to never let your love fade.”

You gasped softly, no longer able to contain the tears. This whole time he knew of your feelings for Kyungsoo but wouldn’t let his feelings for you dissipate. You turned such a happy moment into something sorrowful unbeknownst to the onlookers.

“I accept your proposal Jongin and you have my word.”

Cheers erupted all around you and Jongin pulled you into a hug, him too letting tears fall onto his cheeks.

Your fate was sealed, destined to marry the man of your dreams while you got the dick wet of another. There was no turning back, especially not with the child brewing in your womb belonging to the man you snuck and spent your last night single with. You would have to face the burden of it all one day but as for now, you mentally crossed off today; the day you longed so earnestly for.

[xomakara]

Oh, Mommy

SUMMARY |  Jaemin watches as you breastfeed the baby and ends up wanting sex afterwards. PAIRINGS | Jaemin/Fem!Reader GENRE |  non-idol au, daddy!jaemin, smut, unprotected sex, breastfeeding, mommy kink(?), fluff towards the end RATING |  Mature LENGTH |  1,972 words AUTHOR’S NOTE |  I want to thank the anon that somehow suggested this. It's a bit shorter than other one-shots I wrote but oh well. I hoped it turned out okay!

Jaemin found you sitting on the couch, your tank top pulled down to reveal your breasts. He watched as the baby latched unto your nipple, your large breasts overflowing with milk. The baby began to suckle and Jaemin could feel his own cock stiffening in his pants.

He started to walk towards you when he saw you look at him.

You looked up and said "Come over here", gesturing towards the couch.

Jaemin sat down, trying to ignore his throbbing erection.

"It's amazing that we have a baby now, isn't it?" You asked, looking directly into Jaemin's eyes.

"I never imagined I would ever be this happy." He answered.

"Me neither." You said. "We're truly blessed."

The two of you sat there silently for several minutes, watching as the baby suckled hungrily at your breast.

"What are you thinking about?" You finally asked.

"Just how lucky I am to be married to such an amazing woman like you." Jaemin replied.

You looked at him intently, as if trying to read his mind.

"Why don't you come closer? If the baby is done nursing, then I'm sure you want to do something about that erection in your pants." You said seductively.

"Well…yeah." He answered sheepishly.

You took one of his hands and placed it upon your breast.

"Can you feel how full my breasts are?" You asked.

Jaemin squeezed your tit gently and moved his hand around it, massaging your entire breast with both hands.

"Yes." He answered softly.

"Now can you imagine these full breasts pouring their milk into a hungry little mouth?" You asked.

Jaemin nodded.

"Would you like to see me nurse our son?" You asked.

Jaemin couldn't take his eyes off of your naked chest, watching as the baby sucked hungrily at your breast. Your skin was smooth and silky under his touch, and the milky white color of your breasts was mesmerizing.

"Of course I'd love to watch you nurse the baby." He answered.

You smiled at him before returning your attention to the baby. He was still suckling hungrily at your breast, his hands firmly holding onto the sides of your massive tits.

"Do you think he wants more?" You asked.

Jaemin reached out and rubbed the baby's cheek with the palm of his hand. The baby gave a contented sigh and relaxed.

"Looks like he does." Jaemin whispered.

With the baby finally finished eating, you let go of your breast and sat up. Your husband knelt next to you, his face mere inches away from your large, exposed nipples. Your husband leaned forward and gently licked the underside of each of your large, erect nipples. His tongue danced along the length of each breast, drawing every drop of milk from them.

You moaned softly but slowly pushed him away.

"Let me put the baby down first." You said.

You picked the baby up and carried him over to his crib, settling him down inside.

When you returned, you were completely naked, with your huge tits bouncing provocatively as you walked.

"Did my Jaemin get turned on watching the baby getting breastfed?" You asked playfully.

"Oh yes." He answered eagerly.

Jaemin wasted no time taking your breast in his mouth, sucking hard and roughly at it. His hand caressed your breast as he greedily suckled from it, sending chills throughout your body.

"Does my Jaemin want to be breastfed too?" You asked. "Jaemin, mommy would like it very much if you drank my milk."

He opened his mouth and closed his lips around your nipple.

"That's it, baby. Suck mommy's tit." You encouraged.

Jaemin's tongue fluttered against your breast, moving rhythmically in circles around your erect nipple. You felt yourself starting to ache in anticipation, ready for his touch.

You ran your fingers through his hair and pushed his head further towards your tit, wanting him to focus all of his attention on it.

"Make sure you get all of the milk out." You ordered.

Jaemin's hand released your breast so that he could wrap his lips tightly around your areola. He suckled enthusiastically, eagerly working his way down towards your areola until he finally made contact with it.

He kissed your nipple repeatedly before sucking it between his teeth. He bit down lightly at first, not quite biting but definitely leaving a small dent in the soft flesh.

As he continued to bite down, your nipple became rock hard and almost painfully sensitive.

"Is my Jaemin enjoying himself?" You asked, running your fingers through his thick black hair.

"Very much." He answered.

You reached down and guided his hand back to your tit, allowing him to squeeze it harder than he had been before.

You wrapped your other hand around his wrist, pressing his hand against your breast even more forcefully.

"Jaemin, you should milk mommy while you're doing that." You suggested.

"Oh yeah…" He responded, his voice muffled by your nipple.

He gently caressed your swollen tit, causing it to jump with excitement. As soon as he squeezed it, milk started to flow out of your nipple.

His eyes widened as he watched you fill your palm with milk.

"Isn't it amazing?" You exclaimed. "My beautiful, large breasts are now providing nourishment to our baby."

You caressed Jaemin's face lovingly as he drank deeply from your tit.

After drinking several more mouthfuls, he finally removed his lips from your breast.

"Have you enjoyed being breastfed by me?" You asked.

"Mmmm." He moaned. "Mommy has given me the most wonderful gift imaginable."

"You mean having Jaemin drink from my breast." You corrected.

"No, Mommy." He responded. "Having you breastfeed me, making me feel loved and cared for. That is the best gift I've ever received."

He leaned forward and kissed you tenderly, continuing to rub your tit affectionately.

Your hands moved to his chest and rubbed it lovingly.

"And now I would like to return the favor." You said. "As much as I love Jaemin the baby...I want Jaemin, my husband."

Your husband returned your kiss passionately, pulling your nipples between his teeth. He squeezed your breasts, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your entire body.

As you parted your lips for him, his tongue snaked into your mouth and explored every nook and cranny. You held him close, pulling him in even closer. Both of you were breathing heavily as you kissed passionately, exploring each other's mouths like two eager teenagers who had just discovered sex.

Jaemin pulled away after several moments of intense kissing, breaking apart and gazing into your eyes with lusty passion.

"Tell me what you want." He asked.

"Jaemin…I want you inside of me." You answered.

He pulled his clothes off quickly, tossing them aside.

"Let's move this into the bedroom." He suggested.

You followed him obediently, your bare feet sliding across the plush carpeting. Jaemin led you into the bedroom and lay down on the bed. You straddled his waist and guided him inside of you, causing your huge tits to bounce lewdly as you did so.

"Does my Jaemin like watching his wife's big boobs bounce around as she rides him?" You asked playfully.

"Mmmmmm…" He groaned. "You feel so good."

"Oh, baby, you know exactly how I like it." You moaned.

Your hips moved slowly up and down on his member, feeling the sensation of every inch of him deep within you. Every thrust sent a wave of pure ecstasy coursing through your body. With each stroke, Jaemin was able to push deeper and deeper inside of you, the tip of his penis reaching the entrance of your womb.

You broke apart from Jaemin's kisses and gazed into his eyes. He looked into yours and grabbed hold of your hips, giving them a firm massage as he pumped his cock into you.

"You feel so fucking tight." He moaned. "So warm and wet."

"Please give me everything you've got, baby." You begged.

He increased his pace, thrusting even faster and harder. You were beginning to ache with desire, yearning for release. Each stroke caused you to gasp in pleasure, reaching for him even tighter as he pressed his pelvis against yours.

Jaemin gripped your hips and began pumping them wildly, his pelvis ramming into yours over and over again. His whole body shook as he drove himself further and further into you, each movement causing your enormous breasts to bounce sensually.

"Fuck!" He groaned out. "God, I love you so much!"

He continued to pound you relentlessly, his pelvis slapping against your own. After several more long strokes, he suddenly withdrew from you and flopped onto his back, panting for breath.

"That was amazing." You said. "Thank you."

He looked at you lovingly.

"What are you thanking me for?" He asked.

"For loving me so much." You answered. "I'm thankful that you wanted me to feel as loved and appreciated as you do. And for loving our son as much as you do."

Jaemin grinned.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for the two people in my life that I love the most." He answered.

"I feel the same way." You said. "I feel so fortunate to have found such an amazing man. One who is strong, yet gentle. Smart, yet humble. Passionate, yet patient."

You wrapped your arms around him and kissed him deeply.

"You make me so happy, Jaemin." You said. "I love you."

"Love you too." He answered.

The two of you cuddled together for several minutes before you realized that the baby was crying once again. You kissed Jaemin one last time before rising to your feet.

"Are you coming?" You asked.

Jaemin shook his head. He answered. "Take care of our son first and then come back to bed."

With that, you headed into the nursery to tend to your screaming child.

When you arrived, the baby was sitting upright in his crib, his arms raised above his head and clutching desperately onto his blanket.

He didn't look pleased about being left alone, but when he saw you he immediately stopped crying. You bent down and scooped him up in your arms, resting his head against your shoulder. He looked so tiny and fragile, and your heart melted at the sight of him.

"Hello, sweetheart." You cooed softly.

The baby sighed contently as he cuddled against your chest. You rocked him gently back and forth, noticing how the blanket kept falling off of his tiny little body.

"Let's go sleep with daddy." You suggested.

The baby gave a satisfied sigh before looking up at you adoringly. You stood up and carried him out of the nursery, carrying him over to the master bedroom. When you entered the room, you placed the baby down in the middle of the bed, right next to your husband.

Jaemin looked confused for a moment, but then he smiled widely.

"I thought we might share the bed tonight." You said. "Wouldn't that be fun?"

Jaemin nodded enthusiastically.

"And maybe we can make some extra special memories." You added, caressing your son's head.

Jaemin smiled and gently stroked the baby's forehead, soaking in every minute of this new experience.

The three of you cuddled together, sharing a precious moment filled with love and joy.

[mask131]

I wanted to make this post last year but I got caught up in events (plus I couldn't find back my sources). But given the recent international events have completely turned away most media's attention from the Russian war on Ukraine, I thought it was finally time to make this post.

Because I want to talk about something truly crazy. Something that shows how deep Russia's distortion, warping and twisting of the Christian religion went - and how back there, we're back to the times of holy inquisitions.

Many people have covered the fact that the propaganda of Putin over Russia isn't just mediatic and politic but also religious. There were many viral reports and TV reports and investigations about how the higher-ups of the Russian Orthodox Church were in Putin's pocket, openly shared Putinist propaganda during their religious offices, declared that the war against Ukraine was a "holy war" that God wanted, that Putin was merely the agent and arm of God - there was this whole thing about the Patriarch blessing the weapons of the Russian soldiers sent to the front, and about him explicitely saying that the Devil and/or the Antichrist was in Ukraine.

But there is something that is even bigger and more shocking than that, and that shows how in Russia war = religion. It is a building: the Cathedral of the Russian Armed Forces.

The building of this cathedral started in 2018, but it was only completed in 2020. The cathedral is technically a religious building, but the main reason of its existence is to celebrated the "various military feats of Russia", chief among which - the Russian victory over the Nazis during World War II. The completion of the cathedral was done on the Victory Day celebrating the Soviet Union crushing the Nazis ; and it was opened on the "Day of Remembrance and Sorrow" (a commemoration of when the Nazis turned against the Soviet Union and tried to march over it). There's something about "the resurrection of Christ" in there, but let's be honest, this was built exclusively for and around war.

This building is absolutely grandiose, without a doubt - and its beauty and enormity is a proof of Russia's dedication to its unique mix of religion and military matters. In fact it was considered one of the great monuments of Russia... until the Ukrainian attacks made people reconsider what this symbol ACTUALLY meant.

And the thing with this building is that it was FILLED with carefully-thought war symbolism. For example, take the main dome's diameter: 19,45 meters... To symbolize the year when World War II stopped (1945). [Another source rather claims that the dome's diameter is 22,43 meters but it doesn't change the symbol: the Nazi capitulation was signed at 22h43]. There is a small dome that is 14,18 meters in height - because the conflict between the Nazis and the Soviet Union lasted 1 418 days and nights. And the belfry is 75 meters tall... because 75 years had passed between 2020 and the end of World War II. By the way, did you know that when Russians talk of the end of World War II and how they helped defeat the Nazis, they do not speak of the "World War"? No, they rather speak of "the end of the Great Patriotic War". Because the conflict between the USSR and the Nazis wasn't part of any world conflict, oh no! It was just one specific war against the patry - aka Russia. The total height of the Church is a reference to Saint Vladimir's (the one who Christianized the Rus lands) birth date, etc etc...

Things get better - the steps and floors of the cathedral are made of metal. Metal made from the melted war trophies taken from the Nazis - their weapons an their tanks for example. As such, the Russians will forever walk on the remains of their old ennemies. The church's saints are carefully chosen as the patron-saints of the Russian military: saint Elijah the Prophet, saint Barbara, saint Fyodor Ushakov... All organized in the four sections of the church, each dedicated to a different branch of the army; ground forces, navy, aerospace military and strategic missile forces. There's a lot of depictions of Jesus wielding a sword too.

And then we go to the mosaics... Ah, the mosaics! These mosaics are not about the history of Christianity, but about the military history of Russia, each one depicting a great battle or a great Russian victory. You have several depictions of the orders of the Red Army overthrowing the Imperial forces in Russia, you also have depictions of the Soviet (or Communist) successes during World War II of course - there's the Battle of Stalingrad, there's the Reichstag fire... You also have more recent depictions of soldiers, with a kalashnikov in their hands... And of course, the latest mosaic depicting the latest "Russian military success" at the date of the Cathedral's fundation: the annexation of Crimea.

This mosaic was in fact part of a dual scandal, before while the Cathedral was built, two images were leaked of two intended mosaics - one for the Crimea annexation and one for the (exclusively Soviet of course) victory over the Nazis in World War II (sorry, "The Great Patriotic War"). And the scandal was because on the latter Stalin was depicted, and on the former it was Putin who was on the mosaic. There was a big outcry, and ultimately the artists of the cathedral decided to remove the faces of Putin and Stalin... But not before asking for Putin's opinion first, and then - this is very symbolic - their faces were replaced by icons.

Yeah all of this is kind of overwhelming - but one has to remember that in Russia, the Orthodox Church is on the same level as the various ministeries of Putin. The Patriarch Kirill, who consecrated the cathedral, has as such openly supported Putin's war and politics - invited and present at all of Putin's government meetings alongside his various ministers, the Patiarch has also placed in his sermons the exact same slogans and words used by the televisual Russian propaganda. In spring 2022, he held a whole sermon about how the Russian people had to stand together as brothers again the treacherous and wicked West - and added that the reason the Donbas distrusted the Russian Orthodox Church was because of the "vile phenomenon" of the Gay Pride - and added that it was against the corruption of the West, and the anti-religious "gay propaganda", that Russia was fighting - that it was to eliminate THIS that they threw bombs over Ukraine.

Speaking of that I almost forgot! Very recently the cathedral added a new stained glass to its windows... One made with broken glass shards from Mariupol, collected during the Russian attack.

And let's not forget how the Patriarch promised to absolve all the Russians sent to the front who would die on the battlefield against the Ukrainians (the SAME kind of words that were used in the Middle-Ages for the crusades!) - because, and I quote, "such a sacrifice will cleanse you of all human sin". And at the beginning of 2023 (if I recall well), the Patriarch went as far as to say that if Russia didn't win this war, "someone" (he didn't specify who) but SOMEONE would appear "with the intentions of dominating, and then destroying the world" (aka, the Antichrist). This was later backed up by Dmitry Medvedev, who added that the real goal of the war against Ukrainian was to "stop the supreme leader of Hell" (and this time he dropped names, but several at once - Satan, Lucifer, Iblis).

We are literaly back to medieval crusades and to the crazy witch-hunts. Russian propagandists will stop at nothing to convince people that everything is evil outside of Russia.

"But..." you're going to say, "Not all Orthodox Russian priests can be falling for this crap!". And indeed you are right, there are priests in the Russian Orthodox Church that called out the fact Christianity was about peace, not war. The problem is that the higher-ups of the Church have started a hunt for all priests that advocate for peace rather than war - and they simply kick them out of the Church and revoke their status as priests. The Orthodox priests who refuse to see their faith turned into political propaganda are forced to flee into other Orthodox countries to maintain their status as priests.

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Such Effort V

Pairing: Hatake Kakashi x f!Reader

W/c: 2.6k

Warnings: Swearing, and we're getting into suggestive territory at the end

Summary Post 🔮🔮 Masterlist

Previous Part

He was sick to his stomach.

Kakashi pushed himself against the wall, wanting it to swallow him up and deliver him from this atrocious sight. But it wouldn't, and even if it could, Kakashi didn't truly want it - he wanted to keep watching you, even as you kept digging deeper into his chest and squeezing his heart with your bare hand.

"Kakashi! My dear rival!"

Not here, not now, please.

Clapping a hand on Kakashi's shoulder, Gai laughed, "I thought you preferred to drink alone."

"I do," he replied curtly.

"So, you've got a devil on your shoulder tonight, is that it?"

"No." He had an angel in front of him, busy blessing another. Kakashi sighed, and looked to Gai, finally. He shrugged, "Care for a brief contest?"

"Would I ever!" Gai beamed. "What's the plan?"

"Shots - most in a minute."

"You're on."

Sliding his arm around Kakashi's shoulders, Gai pulled him up to the bar. The black haired man ordered a slide of shots, six for each to start. That seemed a reasonable number to Kakashi as the bartender set the twelve glasses on the bar and started pouring Tequila in them, going down the line in a continuous pour.

Not touching his mask, Kakashi and Gai both picked up their first shots, clinking them quickly before popping them on the counter and taking them back. Gai violently shuttered as Kakashi reached for the next shot. Bass-filled rhythms occupied every corner of the izakaya, making Kakashi feel his heart beating that much more strongly.

The competition was on.

Bang. Bang. Bang. His fifth hit his throat awfully, but Kakashi relished the burn, letting it cloud his thoughts of you, as much as was possible. He reached for his sixth while Gai took his fourth, taking it down in two gulps and then groaning after.

"You're crap at this," the silver haired man laughed lowly.

"No I'm not!" Gai argued immediately, picking up his fifth.

Kakashi just shrugged and took his sixth shot, his mask starting to get very wet. The alcohol on the fabric made his chewed-up lips burn, and made his nose sting sharply, but still, he didn't mind.

Looking back at you, Kakashi was ready to either jump right up, or to order another twelve shots. He didn't know. Watching you smile up at Raido after breaking from a particularly challenging sequence made Kakashi's heart clench, and all he knew was that he absolutely hated seeing you with another man. Despite the utter disgust he was feeling, even Kakashi had to admit that the two of you were great dance partners.

But you and Kakashi would make better dance partners. That was common sense.

"Gah- fuck!" Gai coughed, covering his mouth.

Lazily, Kakashi looked back at his friend as he drew deep, shaking breaths slowly. His face was very red, and his throat seemed to be actively spasming. With a small chuckle and a heavy tongue, Kakashi asked, "Wrong pipe?"

"I don't even know," Gai gasped, clearing his throat harshly. He shook his head and choked out, "We have- eugh- to shelf this contest for a day that I can- sss- control my throat."

"Whatever y'say," Kakashi agreed with another bop of his shoulders, taking up Gai's final shot. He knocked it back without a whisper of issue.

Gai coughed beside him, and Kakashi, again, looked to you. You were just so gorgeous, he couldn't resist.

But, you had left the dancefloor.

A little panicked, Kakashi looked around the izakaya. The sea of people hid you, allowing you to blend in with the crowd. He suddenly felt all of the shots he had consumed creep up on him, as if the Tequila had anything to do with his unfruitful search.

"I swear to every star up in the sky-" And he was thanking them.

"Y'disappeared," Kakashi remarked dumbly. 

His eyebrows furrowed at the slur of his speech as he turned to you, standing right behind him. In an instant, he stopped caring about how stupid he had sounded, because you were finally looking at him. Kakashi raised his hand to your angelic face, but you dodged him.

"Let's go," you said quickly. "You're supposed to be at home; safe, sound, and resting."

"Y'wanna take me home?" Kakashi asked with a smirk.

You nodded, putting your hand around Kakashi's arm and tugging a little. "Yeah, c'mon."

"Are y'gonna stay w'me?"

He remained still in his seat, just smiling and feeling your cold hand on his bicep. You squeezed the muscle a little and Kakashi flexed his arm in an attempt to impress you. He couldn't tell if it worked, because your grip loosened considerably.

"I... I mean, I kinda..."

You were so close to agreeing, but the words died in your throat when your, allegedly, dear friend sidled up to you. Fuck, Kakashi still couldn't remember her name, even while looking at her face. Her face wasn't even so nice to look at, not like yours. Her face couldn't launch a single ship, let alone a thousand.

"Raido asked if you were in for a round of shots, Y/n," she said lowly, focusing all of her attention on you, as if Kakashi didn't exist.

Quickly, you looked at your friend, then back to Kakashi. Conflict was written on your face, when it should have been so easy. Slowly, you explained, just louder than the music, "I, er, I'm Hatake's assigned medic's apprentice, I... kinda have to get him back to his house."

Oh.

"He's an adult," your friend sneered, rolling her eyes and refusing to look at Kakashi. "He can make his own bastard decisions."

"Yeah..." you whispered, looking back at Kakashi one more time before you looked at your friend. A weak smile came to your face and you nodded, "You're right, Kas. I'm stupid tonight, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, girlie," your raven haired friend grinned, linking her arm with yours. Before she took you away from Kakashi, your friend glanced at him, sending a dagger-like glare at him before she jeered, "Why do you even want to fuck her around? Can't you leave a good thing, be good?"

Oh.

There was a point to be made there, Kakashi couldn't deny that. But he knew you were inherently different, that he felt an entirely novel emotion when it came to you.

When air was finally allowed back into his lungs, you and your friend had already started walking back to your table. 

"Go, stupid. What are you doing?" Gai urged him, pushing Kakashi's shoulder toward you. "If you don't, then she'll think you are just trying to just her around."

He was right, which properly shocked Kakashi out of his catatonia. Kakashi had to tell you how he felt, properly, and he had to do it before that friend of yours whispered any more poison into your ear.

He sprung out of his seat and was behind you in three long strides. Kakashi took your wrist, pulling you back to him and away from your friend.

"Kakashi, what-"

"I don'wanna fuck y'around," he slurred. Kakashi swore under his breath, mad that his mouth was so uncooperative as he added, "You mean more t'me than you could ever imagine."

"Pft, yeah, right," your friend scoffed.

Kakashi tore his eyes away from yours and landed on the dark brown eyes of your friend. Lowly, he sighed, "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have ever even touched you - that was a mistake." He looked back at you and continued, "Seriously, Y/n, you're the girl for me. Please, please, please give me a chance. I'm begging you."

Parting your pretty lips, you looked deeply into Kakashi's eye, then flickered back to your friend. Your face fell and Kakashi looked at her face, not particularly having taken in the harshness of his words. Kakashi could see the shine of tears in her eyes, and hoped to every star that he hadn't just made things worse than they already were.

"Kasumi-"

You moved to touch your friend with your free hand, but she dodged you quickly, looking away and sniffling, "It's all good, Y/n. Fuck."

"Nah, babe," you said sympathetically, moving to catch your friends eyes. "Really - if you say nay, I'll shake him, I promise."

Fucking what? Woah, woah, woah, that was a terrible deal. What if Kasumi-

"Yay," she mumbled, smiling at you smally. "Go... Fujita-San will be pissed if he finds out you let one of his patients loose for the night and did nothing to stop him."

Great deal, totally acceptable outcome.

Kakashi let go of your wrist when you moved to hug Kasumi. You put your arms around her chest while she wrapped around your neck. Over your shoulder, Kasumi gave Kakashi a sharp cut-eye before motioning two fingers to her eyes, then at him. She would be watching.

Acknowledging her threat, Kakashi dipped his head and Kasumi let go of you. Then you leaned back in, cupping your mouth against her ear. There was no point in the whispering, Kakashi thought, the band on the stage was so loud that the three of you were already having to practically yell.

"Shut up! Ew, why would you say that?" She roared in a laugh. Kasumi cautioned a look back at the table of your friends before asking quietly, "Is it obvious?"

"Yeah, babe, terribly," you giggled. Then you shrugged, clapping her shoulder, "I want our sisterhood to be official, even if it's just in-law, so get going. Seal your deal."

"Oh, shush, you're getting my hopes up," she sighed. Then Kasumi looked back at you and kissed your cheek. "If you need anything..."

"Mhm, I know," you said, kissing her cheek in turn. "Maybe I'll see you later."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she said, waving her hand dismissively as she walked away.

Finally.

Kakashi drew a deep breath, looking at you as you watched Kasumi return to the table. You chewed on the corner of your bottom lip and slowly turned to look at Kakashi. Behind your eyes, a million thoughts raced, and Kakashi was ready to hear every single one, even if you were gearing up to... no, he didn't want to think about that angle.

"S'how about it?" He asked after a long moment of silence between the two of you.

"Let's get out of here," you replied quickly, seeming to snap back into reality. You grabbed Kakashi's arm again and, this time, he was quick to let your touch guide him.

Kakashi captured Gai's eyes, and nodded at the man, who still sat at the bar. Gai smiled widely as you lead Kakashi right to your brother's table. About eight men sat around, drinks in front of them, with only Kasumi to diffuse the dastardly level of testosterone that emanated from the table. A few of your brother's friends looked amongst each other, while Raido and Genma stared at Kakashi with twitches in their eyes.

"I'll meet you back at home, probably," you told Genma as you reached over him to grab your cloak. 

You kissed his cheek while straightening out, but Genma caught your wrist, keeping you bent over and close to his face. He shook his head and spoke too lowly for Kakashi to hear, but he could tell it was about him.

To both Kakashi and Genma's surprise, you flicked off Genma's hand and spat, "Call me that again and I'll poison the next meal you eat."

He didn't. Oh, he better have not.

"Call you what, sweetheart?" Kakashi asked lowly, with perfect enunciation, as you straightened out, grabbing your waist with his large hand. Kakashi didn't ease his glare when Genma's eyes met his, only intensifying it as he said, "Watch your mouth."

"That's rich," Genma scoffed, crossing one of his legs over the other. "Y'know what? Two sluts. You're perfect for each other."

There we go. Let's do this.

But you were suddenly pushing Kakashi back in a hug.

He couldn't just throw you off, especially not to kick the shit out of your brother. So, he let you push him, your head pressed right in the center of his chest. 

"He's not worth it," you mumbled.

"Yeah." Kakashi considered your words. No, Genma wasn't worth ruining his relationship with you over, no matter how fucking awful he was. Kakashi sighed, finally ending his glare, "Yeah, you're right."

He maneuvered you to be under his arm as he turned around and began to walk out of the izakaya by himself. You sank into Kakashi, wrapping your arm around his waist and producing steam when your coldness combined with his inhumane warmth. 

Through the izakaya you went, and right out the front door. The air had an edge to it, but the alcohol in Kakashi's veins made him impervious to the cold. He worried that your cute, little dress wouldn't stand the test of the wind, but you had your cloak, which seemed to warm you just enough.

You shook your head quickly before descending the wooden stairs. As you marched down, you muttered angrily,  "What a fucking prick. Ugh."

"Then y'should've let me-"

"Bap. Don't even suggest it," you warned, cutting Kakashi off as he trailed behind you. Kakashi pursed his lips and began to walk beside you on the road. You shook your head again, and let a small smile form on your lips. "Anyway, I've never seen you in Kinka's... did you like it?"

"The drinks were decently priced," Kakashi answered, nodding slightly. "And the band was pretty good."

"Aren't they just?" You replied with a sudden burst of excitement. "I know the leader, he's also the owner of the izakaya - name's Haruki, do you know him?"

You spoke so quickly that Kakashi's brain was having the faintest trouble processing it all. Your voice was just so beautiful, and your face was so pretty, and your lips were so plush. Still, he understood you, and shook his head. "No, should I?"

"He's a fun man to know," you grinned. "In the days, when the izakaya's closed, he sometimes lets me sit-in on rehearsals - they play something called swing so the rehearsals are just, like, big-huge jam sessions."

"That's nice," he hummed, taken by the way your happiness elevated your looks. "So, is it one, continuous song, or are the songs distinct?"

"Well, it's like they've got a room of musical tunes," you told Kakashi with a chuckle. "Y'know... there are so many progressions, they just pick and choose from different songs, mash 'em together, and make something nice."

"It's a wonder it does sound so nice then," Kakashi chortled.

You nodded, looking back at the izakaya before smiling at Kakashi as you walked. "Yeah, some progressions rhyme, some ching, but most of them are clockwork."

Both you and Kakashi walked while staring at each other, trying to absorb the other's presence as best you could. A comfortable silence settled over the two of you, but there were about a thousand things Kakashi wanted to say. But, with his larded tongue, he settled into the silence with a grin.

After a little while, you looked away, taking a deep breath, and then asked, "Why do you get so mad over Genma's stupid assholery? I get it when he's being rude to you, but when it's just me..."

"When it's just you, it's even worse," Kakashi stated. You looked at him with a cocked eyebrow and Kakashi nodded adamantly. "He has no right to call you a slut... even if, y'know-"

"Even if I am a slut?" You asked with narrowed eyes.

Yikes. Though the idea plagued him, he didn't want to insinuate anything. Quickly, Kakashi shook his head. "No, no, I didn't- well, yeah, but I didn't mean it like that."

"I get it, you've heard Genma call me a slut a couple times now," you sighed, looking at the ground below your moving feet. "It's just his new favourite word - it was hosebag about two weeks ago, which was an awful lot funnier... I'm not a slut, I promise."

"I know you're not a slut," Kakashi grinned. Internally, he was celebrating how different you were from him, thanking all the stars. 

"No, like... I'm really not a slut," you repeated as though you felt you had something to prove.

Your words made Kakashi chuckle lightly, "Are there degrees of slutitude?"

He noticed your face flush a bright red before you looked away completely, watching the buildings that you and he passed. Kakashi started to feel a strange curiosity bubble within him - he was very curious when it came to you, but he had never felt so... intrusive. Not even while looking through your file.

"I mean, I'm a virgin, Kakashi."

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