#what is it like to have to grieve someone long before you lose them. simply for knowing that you will. that you must.

[quietwingsinthesky]

Hi hello, I wasn't the person who requested samifer "my husband" but I just read it and it kinda has me crying?? In a good way, ofc! Could I request samifer & grief? Like the word, or the concept, whichever way your mind takes you. Thank you, love your writing ❣

Oh! Thank you! I’m so glad you liked it!

This prompt was a challenge. A big concept for 100 little words. (Though I’ve proven by now I think that the limit is. Kind of arbitrary. Keep accidentally writing double drabbles instead of regular ones lmao.) but I tried my best to put this one together! Hope it works!

|| AO3 || DW || FFNet || PF || SW ||

“You will go to Heaven when you die,” Lucifer tells him. Sam gives him an odd look, not because the topic is unwelcome. He just didn’t expect to discuss it over washing dishes. Lucifer leans into him. “I know you worry about it. That you’re too tainted”—never says by me but Sam hears it—“to go anywhere but Hell. But you won’t. I made sure”

“I… Thanks?” Sam says. He regrets it when Lucifer presses closer. He can feel tears soak into his shirt. “Lucifer? What’s wrong?”

And Lucifer won’t tell him that where he’s going, Lucifer can’t follow.

[dragonagecompanions]

DAI: What is going through the minds of the Inquisition and the advisors, especially the romanced ones, upon realizing that they are going to lose the Inquisitor to the anchor?

Cassandra: Even the greatest fairy tales have an ending, but somehow Cassandra had always hoped that theirs would be happy. Their love was so unexpected, so sudden, and yet she had known from their first kiss that in him she had found a love for the ages.

Her uncle told her she was unlovable, her oath made her unlikable, but beneath it all her herald had seen the woman within the warrior--and still called her his own. He did not forsake her, even when she was unsure of herself with him. If these are to be their last hours together, she will not forsake him.

And she wishes now he had proposed.

Solas: He is not even sure he has the right to grieve, and yet he mourns every minute she is in pain and far from his side. This was always coming, of course-- he knew it from the first moment. And yet that cannot offset the suffering his Vhenan is undergoing.

It is another regret on his shoulders, but he must perservere.

Blackwall: Warden or wanderer, Blackwall or simply her Thom, the news brings him to his knees. How can a woman who has saved so many others be beyond salvation now? For all the power their inquisition has garnered, how can it fall short of saving their leader? How is that any kind of justice? Where is the Maker, when Andraste's herald needs him most?

There are no answers, of course, and in truth he does not wish to waste the time looking for them. As the mark sputters and sparks and threaten to consume her he rarely leaves her side. Through the eluvians or simply through politics he is her strong arm when pain makes her weak, a bulwark against a pain no man can truly fight.

And if he only leaves her side once while she fights for uneasy sleep, to seek out the dark alley shop with its nervous proprietor, no one else need know. The bottle of Quiet Death sits in secret in the bottom of his traveling pack, the most honest choice he has ever made. There is no world, for him, when she is gone. Let them accost the Maker together.

Sera: She knows.

She knows before anyone, knows when her honey tongue's hand starts burning like a green candle and she stops sleeping as well. When you grow up little, grow up afraid, you learn to expect the worst so that the worst doesn't surprise you. And so Skyhold's Red Jenny is braced for the blow for a long time, but it still hurts. Shite, it hurts to know it for real, to see it for real.

She never loved anyone, not like the Inquisitor. No one ever believed in her like the Herald, nowhere felt like home like the Inquisition. She can't do without it, without her, and part of Sera wants to leave before it hurts more. But even thinking about not being there hurts too, hurts like someone is stomping on her heart.

And so she stays. Stays to make her love laugh, stays to make the bad days better. Stays and impulsively drags her honey tongue off to get married, to promise to love each other for ever even if thats not very long anymore. But Sera isn't going to run, and if this is how it ends...she wants the world to know who her herald belonged to, and for her herald to know how much she was loved.

Dorian: It was supposed to be him. Maker's breathe, it was supposed to be him! It was supposed to be him that went first, a martyr to a better Tevinter, a beautiful profile cast forever in marble for his amatus to weep beautifully over and curse Dorian for ever leaving him behind. Even before his father's murder he expected such an eventual fate, and in truth had stayed so long in Skyhold so as to make those memories before Tevinter took her blood price for trying to change her.

But it was not supposed to be the Inquisitor fighting a losing battle with his own sodding arm, not Dorian left to only wring his hands and hold the man he loved close while he suffered. He is the product of a thousand years of careful breeding, graduate of the finest academies in Tevinter, a Maker's damned magister, but it's not enough. The anchor is taking its price, almost right before his eyes, and there is nothing he can do.

He'd always known the inquisitor would break his heart. But...kaffas, it was meant to be him.

The Iron Bull: Katoh.

[iloveaustinelvisandmannymore]

Guilty Love three

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Chubby reader

Warning: Miscarriage, Grieving, Insecurity, Love Confessions, Doubt, Unplanned Pregnancy, Ausgt, Fluff, Weird cravings, Mention of sex, crying.

Summary: Loving Toji Fushiguro wasn't easy, especially if you weren't supposed to. You're just the babysitter and a side piece to him, your guilt finally reached its peak when Toji and his girl decided to upgrade their relationship. So with a heavy heart, you left but it seemed you couldn't escape Toji just like that.

A/n: Soo, that took so long, again sorry for the wait. The first draft was shit in my opinion and I feel this is much better. This is the last of this series but I might do little drabbles of this if I feel like it or if someone asks if I open requests for Toji. Anyway on to the story and please tell me what you think about it. Part 1, Part 2

Time seemed to disappear as you stared at the puddle of blood and the deafening sound of a scream was a far noise. You slide down to your knees tears blurring your vision as your hands try to wipe the blood away but it only proves to smear across the floor. Toji's arms that pulled you into their comfort felt distant, everything felt cold and far, you could barely feel the sobs that jerked your body, or the itch of dried blood on your hands nor hear doctors talk to you. You already knew.

The baby that brought you such love and joy had passed on from this world, leaving Toji here, leaving Megumi here, leaving you...you here.

You can't remember how you got back home, your surroundings had rushed past while you stayed motionless. The bed was the only comfort that reached past the barrier that nothing seemed to get passed, your fists clenched sheets as you stared blankly out the window to the lively city of Tokyo, Days went by colorless. The food in front of you was unappetizing and Instead of eating you simply picked at and moved the meal around ignoring the concerned faces of your boyfriend and his son. You couldn't escape the thoughts of what you did wrong, it was your fault if..if you had been more careful maybe the baby wouldn't have left you behind, part of you wanted to blame Toji for getting you pregnant in the first place you just couldn't...he was suffering just as you were, the tight hold the nights you both laid awoke, nights were he whispered things were gonna be okay as you sob about what could have been, his emeralds glazed over yet tears never fall.

It was another timeless day, you sat on the white couch, watching as the world continued to move on without you through the large window walls of the penthouse, pretending not to hear the conversation between Toji and Asmai about you. You didn't move when you heard the pitter-patter of small feet and voices stop talking "Mommy?" the tears you fought so hard to stop, came rushing out as you hiccuped a sob and opened your arms which Megumi Immediately jumped into, holding onto you tight "My son." you cried "Oh, my beautiful son." the whole time you were grieving you forget the child that became like yours "Mommy's so sorry." you laid your cheek on his head and rubbed his back as his tear drops stained your shirt. Toji sat down and pulled you both into his embrace, you looked up at him with a tearful smile and he simply laid his forehead on yours. The pain of losing your unborn baby will always be there but you have something to live for, you had Megumi and Toji, and they need you to continue, for yourself and them.

It was going to be okay.

Things were beginning to go back to the way things were before, of course, you still think about the tragedy but day by day it got better. Asami was able to convince you to go to the mall with her on a girl's trip, her words. You smiled shyly as you siped from your drink, watching the large smile on Asami's face as she rambled on about how happy and excited she was that you both were spending time together again, her brown hair bounced as she walked and her equally brown eyes sparkled. "Look!" she pointed to an all-sized clothing store with your enjoined hands "Come on!" she laughed as she dragged you to the store "Okay!Okay!" you giggled, somewhat surprised by her strength "It's on me, you deserve it." she let go of your hand and gently pushed you to the plus-sized section before leaving to look around herself not at least waving bye to you which you couldn't help smiling at.

She was like a ball of sunshine. You browsed down the section of nightwear, none quite catching your eye, you were about to move on when a lingerie piece piqued your interest. It was emerald green, the bra was silk with lace overcoating, a see-through fabric split from the middle of the bra and cascading down to where your ankles would be was paired with a g-string. The gown gave off a regal-like look, it would look fetching on the curves of your soft, thick, robust body and you could only imagine Toji's reaction. You bite your lip as your cheeks heat up, images of him practically ripping off the garment and picking you up from your ass as he bit your neck before throwing you down onto your shared bed with such impatience that it would match a voracious wolf and waiting no longer to slide into your soaked core, to pound you in feverish want. "If you think Toji would like you in that, you must be delusional." a voice you wished not to hear ever again snickered "Hello Himari." you flatly greeted putting the lingerie over your arm and continuing to look through the nightwear "I feel sorry for you," she spoke up, her words made you pause "I bet he wasn't even tell you he loves you, huh?" Himari smirked as she watched your expression shift "Leave me alone." you uttered putting away the garment and walking past Himari only to be stopped by her hard hold "Let go!" you tried to yank your arm away from her but it did little good "N-" Himari started but was cut off from suddenly being pushed back and almost tripping over her feet "You heard her." the sound of your best friend's cold voice gave you a sense of relief, the same couldn't be said for himari as she stared at Asmai with fearful eyes "W-who do you think you are?!" Asmai didn't reply and just took a threatening step toward Himari causing the latter to rush away "You okay?" Asmai took your hands and tried to meet your eyes.

"Yeah..just wanna go.." you muttered, craving to be in the penthouse you called home, "Okay, here's the key," Asmai took her car keys out of her bag and put them in your hand "I need to get something okay?" she gently pushed you to the door of the store and when you were out of sight grabbed the lingerie you left behind and bought it before leaving the store.

The ride home was silent, thoughts of doubt bundled up in your mind.

Did Toji love you? Was he lying when he said he was falling for you? He had someone like Himari why love you? You sighed as you laid your head against the window of the passenger side, you need to stop thinking so hard, or you're going to get a headache. You said goodbye to Asmai and made your way to your floor, you spent the rest of the day on autopilot, barely talking to Toji and you knew he had enough when he pined you to the wall of your shared bedroom after you tucked Megumi into bed, his jade orbs were hard and peered down on you, a sexy sneer rested on his lips, and his beautiful muscular biceps were on each side of your head "What the fuck is the problem huh? Why are ya ignorin' me?" he growled, his glare made it almost impossible to speak yet you were able to find your voice "Do you love me.?" you briefly looked at him then at the floor "What kind of question is that?" He asked, his hand taking hold of your jaw and forcing you to meet his eyes "Of course I love you." he specified, kissing you softly unlike he had ever done before, his light kisses turned more passionate, and clothes soon abandoned. The night was spent with filthy sweet nothings, love-driven kisses, and tears of what could've been.

The mouths that passed were filled with happiness, Toji had taken you on your first date since you started to officially see each other if you don't count the years that you were his babysitter with benefits. The romantic-themed restaurant was rented out for the both of you, a perk from dating one of the CEOs of the most successful business, lit candles, rose petals, and your favorite Flower petals were scattered around the table, and soft music played. It was perfect. You barely finished desert when Toji had stood up before dropping to his knee beside your chair and opening a royal purple box with a gorgeous diamond and rose gold ring sitting in between the velvet cushions. You never said "yes" faster.

The next months you spent planning the wedding, there was no limit and today you were gonna go cake tasting with Asmai, Toji, and you. Toji would arrive later but he didn't want you to be alone so you got her to come with. The morning was bright and beautiful, the sunlight shined on the otherwise dark room, bed still warm despite Toji having already gone to work and taken Megumi to school, and the tile of the bathroom floor was cold against your bare feet, brief memories of the tragedy attempted to resurface, to threaten your happiness yet that happiness prevailed. You arrive at the bakery at the set time after choosing one of your best outfits, the bakery is warm and welcoming, with pastel-colored items surrounding the establishment and the smell of all kinds of delightful sweets, plain white walls contract from the pink pastel chair and tables.

Asami made it five minutes later and you both started tasting the different flavors. You were on the fifth slice of cake when the urge to puke made itself known, "Excuse me. Where is the restroom?" you spoke behind your hand, once the store owner gave you the directions you made haste to the bathroom and barely made it to one of the toilet before you vomited. Your breakfast, dinner, and cakes were empty from your stomach, you got up with a grimace and walked over to the sink.

Bending down you let the water from the tab fill your mouth then spit out the water, the strong taste of puke going with it only leaving a bitter aftertaste that could be washed from something sweet. You hung your head before looking up at the sound of the door "You okay babydoll?" your fiancé's eyebrows frowned as he leaned against the wall, his biceps bulging out of his white dress shirt while he did so. Even the look of concern charmed him "I'm fine." you smiled weakly, this was the second morning you threw up, and you wondered if you were...could you simply be pregnant or was this just a stomach flu? You didn't know and that bothered you, you had to ask Asmai for help, you just can't get Toij's hopes up if you weren't.

The cake-flavoring-tasting was smooth sailing after that and it theme color-picking next. You pull Asmai aside and take a deep breath before asking "Hey..could you umm..go get me some pregnancy tests?" Asmai's brown eyes went wide "Do you think.." her soft voice trailed off as you nodded "Okay, im on it. Just go have fun. I'll text you later" She smiled and gently pushed you where Toji was waiting Impatiently.

You went through the day without throwing up again and when you got home Asami texted that she got the tests and she'd meet you tomorrow.

You sighed, moving to lay on your back looking up at the ceiling and gently stroking Toji's arm that wrapped itself around your rotund belly, your wondering mind kept you up. What would Toji think? Would he be happy? Does he blame you? You must have been moving too much that it woke Toji "I can hear you thinking" Toji mumbled, green eyes barely peering through those lavishly beautiful eyelashes yet they shined"I can't sleep. I'm..." Should I tell him? "worried about some things" You muttered back for a while Toji didn't speak you thought he simply fell back to sleep "Don't. Whatever ya worrin' bout I'll be there beside ya." his deep voice, rasped from the heavy sleep he was in.

You smiled at his words, that's the best Toji comfort he could give.

With his comforting words, you eventually fall asleep as you run your fingers through Toji's hair, relaxing him enough to fall back to sleep. When you wake the next morning, Toji is gone and so is Megumi. Getting up you headed to the kitchen to make some breakfast and texted Asami to head over when she had the time, but she didn't reply. Once you had finished your breakfast the bell rang. You tried to open the door but a wave of intense nausea hit you all at once and you hurried to the bathroom, you groaned as you held your hair back and puked into the toilet. a knock on the bathroom caught your attention "Come in." you moaned. Asami's worried face came from behind the door, her mouth opened to say something but you held a finger up as another strong wave of nausea crashed into you causing you to vomit again. "Damn, you alright?" "Yeah." you groaned and took Asami's hand and she helped you up, you washed your mouth clean. The waiting was borderline torture, you were playing with Asmai's fingers while she was watching TV when the timer went off. You both looked at each other and hurried off the couch, laughing as you raced each other to the bathroom. Reaching the door you calmed down, and a deep anxious shudder raked down your spine, you inhaled and reached for one of the tests.

Positive.

Positive.

Positive.

All three had a plus. You were pregnant once again, tears rained down your cheeks a trembling hand covered your lips. The warm embrace of your best friend brought comfort to the complex feels.

Feelings of fear, happiness, love, and anxiety, were like a crushing wave upon wave and you didn't know what to feel.

You let Asami lead you back to the couch as you tried to define what you truly felt. "How are you feeling girl?" she moves some hair out of your face and holds you close to her, you don't say anything for a while "Happy, and a little scared." you smiled at her. You had a second chance and despite the fear you wanted this, you still wanted to have Toji's baby.

You decided that you'd tell Toji and Megumi tonight, at dinner but first, you needed to get some things. Dinner was on you today, you bought a set of eating for two plates, and you picked Megumi up from school, both of you waited for Toji. He didn't come home until seven p.m., by then you finished making dinner. "Daddy!" Megumi shot up from watching something on his tablet and ran up to his father, who picked him up "How are ya and ya mama?" Toji asked his son, a tiny smile on his lips as his son began to rumble on and on about everything. The aroma of home-cooked food led him to a visual he wished to see for the rest of his life. There you were putting food on plates, ready to serve and to eat, the warm touch of love spread throughout his chest, and that tiny smile grew before returning to its previous state. Toji sat Megumi back on the floor sauntered over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, his chin on your shoulder "Hey beautiful." Toji whispered in your ear "Hey handsome." you laughed, patting his arm to let you go which he grudgingly did not without a kiss to your neck before Toji and little Megumi sat down on the dinner table, both Impatiently and excited.

Megumi couldn't sit still, watching your every move with a hunger that was unlike his father's which was a special type of hunger. Just when you sat down you all began to eat, you sneakily stole glances at Toji eating, expectantly waiting for his reaction. Megumi finished and was gonna ask for more except the words on the otherwise white plate "Mommy, daddy?" he inquired, "Yeah?" Toji stopped eating to look at his son "What's "eating for two" mean?" Megumi asked "It means-" Toji responded but forcut himself while the words sank in, His mouth opened then closed unable to reform any words he looked to you. A sly smile sat on your kissed lips "Babydoll, are you?" he hesitated before starting again "Are you pregnant?" you nodded with watery orbs, Toji didn't say anything else, why wasn't he saying anything? Did he not want a baby? You were so into your dread that you failed to notice Toji walking over to you and lifting you into his arms "Toji?" you yelped as you wrapped your legs around his solid build "Thank you, babyboll thank you." he buried his face into your neck "I'm getting a sibling?!" Megumi shouted as he jumped out of his seat "That's right" you laughed happily. This was truly happening this was better than what you imagined.

Toji got a lot more protective after the news, he barely let you go anywhere by yourself, going to the grocery store? No Family trip all while Toji glared at anyone looking at your bigger frame, who always had an arm around you. Yet behind the ridiculous behavior, you knew it stemmed from the fear of losing this baby too, you understand that too well.

Especially when your third mouth came.

During the day you could pretend it didn't affect you but the night was a different tale, nights spent wondering if you'd go through the same pain, "Babydoll you should be asleep." Toji voiced, arriving home from work and changing into his pajamas which consisted of low-cut sweats, no boxers, and no shirt. His sculpted-by-the-gods-body would have made you crazy with the complete desire to be ravished and taken by this beast of a man yet the feeling of fear overcast your hornyness "Can't sleep." you turned your head from the drool-worthy view and placed a hand on your bulging stomach that didn't go unnoticed by your fiance. "You know." he started sitting down on his side of the bed "'m scared too..the worry of losin' this one sits on the back of my mind all the time." he pulled you into his chest "But I look at ya and I see no matter what happens our love is all that matters, we can try for more. Right now through no what ifs. just the now okay." he held your cheek in his hand, his emerald eyes warm with love for you "You're right." you sighed "Damn right I am" he smirked smugly and a mischievous glint in his eyes as he kissed all over your face, pushing you down on the spacious mattress, the feel of his lips and the roughness of the scar pushed you into a giggling fit as Toji showered you with his love. That night you slept peacefully.

The months went on, with agony and happiness, morning sickness had been a mean bitch, yet this time you had Toji and Megumi to help. Oh, and the cravings, never had you woken up your fiancé more than you did now. "Tojiii." you whined, shaking the jacked male from his sleep "What?" Toji grumbled, eyes still closed "I want ice cream." you continued to shake the tired man "Go back to bed." he groaned and turned away from you "Please, we want ice cream." you said placing a hand on your robust baby bump, smiling when he grunted tiredly, knowing you won. You hummed a tune as you watched the night lights of Tokyo pass by, all but ignoring Toji's side glances and his sleepy expression as he drove down the road to a 7/11 since you ate the last tub of ice cream yesterday night. Looking at you Toji can't help but wonder how he got so fucking whipped for you, all you had to do was bat those beautiful lashes with a sweet smile, push your breast, and stomach against his chest and torso and you got anything you wanted. He was spoiling you too damn much but he wasn't gonna stop, seeing the joy in your eyes after watching helplessly as you killed yourself from depression was all he wanted, even if it hurt his pride a little he'd do it over and over for you.

You didn't wait long once he handed you the sack and a spoon to dig into the tub of vanilla & chocolate swirl "You want some?" you asked after swallowing a spoonful of the cold desert "No." he voiced turning the car left "I think you want some." you scooped some ice cream and held it up, Toji made the mistake of glancing at you, and there you were bating those pretty eyelashes. He huffed before opening his mouth to allow you to feed him the cool sweet and you did so with a big grin on your face.

Your hormones were overdriven, like last week, you sat down with Asami and hung out, laughing, telling jokes, and just all around having fun when she said she had something to get you. You siped the streaming tea, eyes closed in pure bliss "Got it." Asami sat down a plastic bag on the coffee table in front of the lavish white couch "What is it?" you looked at her, putting your tea down and grabbing the bag "Just open it." She smiled. You reached into the bag and pulled out the emerald-green lingerie you left that day, your hands shook and tears blurred your vision "Asmai.." you whispered looking at her in wonder "I saw you looking at it and I wasn't gonna let some bitch make my bestie second guess herself." Asmai smirked, laughing a little as you threw your body into hers "Thank you.." you hugged her tightly. Or like the time you were talking about who was more of a badass, John Wick or the Equalizer, with Toji"I mean, yeah John Wick is good but pretty much all he says is "yeah" and he's more for an eye for an eye. But the Equalizer," you started as you placed a fruit salad with pickles on the side on the kitchen island and sat on the chair with Toji's help and took a bit of pickle "He's for the people, righting the wrong and you're telling me john wick is better? The Equalizer analysis everything before he even starts kicking ass." you spoke taking another bite of the pickle "John wick is a legend babydoll. He's a force to be reckoned with. He is literally nicknamed Baba Yaga, that's a badass name than Equalizer. John Wick is better." Toji agreed taking a bit of your watermelon "No. Equalizer is better." you glared at him as you ate a strawberry "Nah." "Yes." "No." "Yes!" "No." you hopped down for the tool chair as carefully as you could and glowered at him "Fuck you." you hissed, waddling to your bedroom with your snack. Not a minute later you came crying to Toji, babbling how sorry you were and how you were the worst "Babydoll." Toji chuckled, wiping the tears from your cheeks "It's 'lright. You just goin' through pregnancy right now and you didn't hurt my feelings." he smirked "Besides you're fuckin' adorable were you're mad." you smacked his chest playful and snuggled into his chest when he hugged you and slightly groped at your love handles "Thank you.." you muttered.

Oh and how could you forget your aches and pains or more like ignore them? Your baby was lively, active, and strong, a fact that you found out in not such a pleasant way. You were going through your resume, checking if everything was updated, that's when hunger strikes, and as you were walking to the kitchen, you stilled and let out a pained groan, a sharp pain was Installed in your spine. Your lovely baby had just kicked your spine, you stood there for a good minute processing the pain. And of course, once you told this to Toji he laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes. Honestly, what did you expect from getting knocked up by someone like Toji fushiguro?

The living room was peaceful despite it being a Saturday, Megumi and Toji sat beside you as they watched the flat-screen TV above the fireplace, Adventure Time playing while you read where the red fern grows in your fiancé's arms. Your eyes widen in fear, at the sudden feeling of liquid leaking out from you, soaking your pants and the cushion beneath you, and the pain that followed so after "T-Toji." you shook his arm "Yeah?" he slowly took his eyes from the TV to look at you, his eyebrows frowned as he saw your panicked expression, he took you in looking for any clue what could be wrong when his jade eyes stopped on the dark wet stain "Fuck me." he pushed off the couch like it had burned him and picked you bridal style, your combined baby weight, and your normal weight did nothing to slow his movement "Megumi let's go!" Toji called out to his son, as he grabbed his car keys. The drive to the hospital was hectic, as Megumi asked his dad questions while Toji tried to keep calm yet you couldn't help smiling at the scene, yes the contractions hurt like someone was squeezing your uterus like a very needed stress ball but you had given a chance at love and a chance of having a child by the man you loved for so long after losing the baby before. You were going to meet your baby girl Emi and you couldn't wait, you closed your eyes and sat back, feeling at peace.

Everything was okay.

Taglist: @18lkpeters , @ablondehoe @sherlockzss @chadychadyy2k @wo-ming-bai @lilikakashi @gina239

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Let's Talk About Tech (Or Not)

Tags for people who I feel like would have some interesting thoughts about this: @eriexplosion @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius @inkstainedhandswithrings @saturn-sends-hugs @the-bi-space-ace

One of the most frequent comments I see about season 3 so far is the lack of discussion surrounding Tech and what happened, and I want to look at this from two angles: the personal aspect and the context within its position in the show. Because while we're all getting frustrated about it, I think it's something that definitely deserves a closer look.

The Personal Side

One of the biggest questions people have so far is why are the Batch not talking about Tech? Losing a brother is very significant for them and it seems like it would be something that they would talk about more. They discussed the issues they were having following Echo's departure from the group, so why are they not talking about Tech?

I think one of the key things to consider here is time. When we see the Batch talking about Echo, it is only a matter of hours if not days after he went. It would make sense for them to be getting to grips with the situation because they haven't really had time to process it. On the flip side, at the point when we see Wrecker and Hunter, it has been at least 150 rotations from Omega's capture and therefore around 3 months from Tech's fall. A lot of the discussions that they would probably be having about it have likely already happened.

3 months isn't really that long, but in the context of losing someone, and in the context of the lives of these characters specifically, it can be enough time to start moving on. Not to forget it, or to not have it affect them, but to not really discuss it anymore. While I've never lost a sibling, I have lost family members on more than one occasion, and it surprises me how little time it can take for things to go back to "normal". Not to not be thinking about it, or to be 100% okay, but to be able to live life without ever discussing it. This happens particularly when something else significant is going on.

When you have another goal to focus on (in this case, rescuing Omega), you can't always focus on the loss. It sounds stupidly harsh and very much like an arsehole thing to say, but realistically, that is what happens. When you lose someone, you want life to stop, you want everything to pause so that you have time to grieve before you go back to living again. But life doesn't work like that. Things keep moving and sometimes the only thing you can do is focus on the events happening now, not the ones that you have no control over.

I don't think the Batch are ignoring it, or have forgotten about it. I think they've simply started focusing on what they need to be doing: rescuing the people who are still here. They can't get Tech back (as far as they are aware), they can't change anything and so at some point they just have to accept it. They probably did talk about it, did cry about it, but we're 3 months along at this point and they've probably said all they can. And Wrecker and Hunter have only just reunited with Crosshair and Omega. They're not going to instantly jump on that discussion again.

And we don't necessarily need to see the discussions to see how it's affecting them either. Tech's death and Omega's capture have made Hunter more impulsive and reckless. He isn't thinking as clearly as he should and now Wrecker is having to step in as the mediator. Wrecker, who was always the one to jump into a mission and ignore the plan, is having to hold Hunter back from running headfirst into things without thinking. The situation has affected them and is still having lasting effects. Even if they aren't talking about it, it isn't like it's just been totally ignored in the show. Of course we'll have to see if this changes now that most of the Batch are together again, but this is already more than we got with a lot of the other clones (Fives never seeming any different following Echo's "death" for example).

And then there's the matter of Crosshair never questioning why Omega only talks about Wrecker and Hunter. This may be because he already knows about Tech. If Omega has been talking to him on Tantiss, he may already know that his brother is gone. But once again, we are watching the events happening 3 months on at this point. He may have had to compartmentalise that fact the same way that everyone else has. We're saw him and Omega briefly discussing Tech and how he made sure Omega memorised all of the plans. Sure, there was more softness there than sadness, but that's what happens sometimes. Sometimes reminiscing about someone that you lost doesn't make you cry, it makes you smile, because you're remembering the little quirks about them that you love. So no, Omega and Cross haven't been shown talking about Tech's death, but I wouldn't be surprised if he already knows.

In the Context of TV

And now onto the other matter. The fact that all of this is happening as part of a narrative.

I think this is where the lack of conversation about it becomes frustrating: not because it doesn't make sense in the context of the characters themselves, but the fact that we are watching this as part of a show. It doesn't feel right to have something that significant happen only for it to never be mentioned again. We can't really ignore the fact that that happened and move on because while the characters have had time to process things, we haven't seen that. That chunk of the story is missing to us and so it feels unfulfilling to have that turn of events not have enough closure.

Imagine if you lost someone in your life and then you automatically skipped to the point where you were starting to feel somewhat okay again, while removing the entire chunk in the middle where you actually processed things. That is effectively what has happened to us as an audience. Yes, we've had months between seasons, but we have this gap of narrative nothingness between the season 2 finale and the beginning of season 3 where the actual processing would have happened.

So our frustration is justified. Not because it doesn't make sense narratively, or that it doesn't seem right for the characters to be acting the way they are, but because we haven't been able to process the events in the same way that the characters have. The characters aren't discussing it because they don't necessarily need to at this point in time. But we need them to discuss it because that part is missing for us. We haven't seen that bit so we can't fully compute the events.

Yes, it's annoying. Not because it doesn't make sense in the story, but because it doesn't make sense to us. Because as an audience the context is different to that of the characters within the story we are watching.

[scarahours]

"how long will it take for you to give up on me?"

- in which you ask him just how long it'll take for your autumn love to completely fall apart. P.1 [ANGST]

CHARACTERS: Diluc, Childe and Xiao (separately) x gn! reader

Being in a relationship with someone who was still grieving over the death of his late father was exhausting. Terribly so. Even now as you find your bodies intertwined, having the sweetest and most passionate night - holding on like it's the last you'll see of each other ever again, you wonder if this was a stroke of luck or the reason for your demise.

Diluc was quite literally, in all aspects - the perfect partner, both in paper and in reality. He often took you out to late night dinners whenever you had overtime, he left you little trinkets all over the house, and he even introduced you to his father as the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. It was all going so well.

But when Crepus Ragnvindr had suddenly died from a heart attack, Diluc didn't take the news well. He began to neglect himself, only ever focusing on you. Who were you with? Why were you home so late? By god, what if you got into a sudden accident?!

It was another night spent shouting and throwing. A pair of strong arms wrap itself around your waist, pulling you closer to him like he was afraid he'll lose you - like you weren't just at each other's throats earlier because apparently, hanging out with your friends and getting home a tad bit late is a crime punishable by death now.

Diluc was obsessive over you and your well being - you must understand, he can't lose the only other person in his life left! Kaeya has long left him and so has Crepus. It was just you and him against this cruel, cruel world.

But it was suffocating you. HE was suffocating you. It was too much. His love isn't passionate and home anymore, it was heavy.

"How long will it take for you to just... Let me go, 'Luc? I can't do this anymore." You laugh, pretending as if you were talking to a conscious person.

He doesn't say anything. But you knew if he'd heard it, he'd call you ungrateful and selfish. And another fight breaks out, the cycle simply repeats.

But Diluc won't back down, no - he will never.

For all he wanted was your safety, don't you see?

Childe was a family oriented man, above all. He made it clear to you from the very first day that before he was your lover - he was a son and an older brother. He treasured his siblings and would often be out with them, leaving you all alone in the house with nothing to do but clean, wait for him and act like a loving spouse - which, you weren't. "Yet," he said, but you aren't so sure if you would stick around long enough.

Most of the time you felt more like a servant rather than his partner, you took up more than half of the responsibilities around the house and you barely even saw each other because he was either out working or with his siblings.

One time, however, when his youngest brother - Teucer, was in the house playing and running around while Childe left you to "bond" with him (when really it was just an excuse for him to leave and go to his work without his brother finding what he did for a living), did things start to go south. He accidentally knocked one of the only portraits you had from your childhood, a competition that you won in which both of your parents were in the frame - from more than a decade ago. It was your father's last gift to you before he accidentally got into a car crash.

Unable to control your anger - you lashed out at the young child, making him cry. You hadn't noticed that Childe was right by the door frame.

He immediately stormed over and kneeled down to console his little brother who was a crying mess, barely stuttering out an "I'm sorry," and "I'll never do it again."

Childe was fuming, but so were you.

"GET OUT." His voice was hard and stern.

"FINE THEN!" You screamed, running up the stairs and hastily grabbing your things.

From the corner of your eye you see Childe rush into the room, he pulls your arm over and asks, "Are you fucking serious [name]? Once you step out of our house it's over."

"YOUR house. Not mine. I'm sick and tired of your bullshit, I'm giving up. You knew how much that portrait meant to me." You spat venom.

"For fucks sakes Teucer is just a child! He makes mistakes, and the picture isn't ruined - look! It's just the frame, stop being so immature [name] it's fixable!" Childe argues.

"I don't give a fuck if it was just the frame, this single thing held much more value to me than you'll ever do." You seethe, grabbing the picture out of his hand and pushing him away to leave.

Loving Xiao was easy, but understanding him was another thing. You thought that with time, the distance between the two of you will slowly disappear - but it never did.

No matter how much he claimed to love you, he refused to tell you anything about what was bothering him and how he felt. Communication was a foreign thing in your relationship, and you knew that continuing on like this would prove to be difficult. So you broke things off, despite loving him with your whole being.

Surprisingly, he took it quite well. No questions asked, no why's and where did it all go wrong. Perhaps he also thought that things were never gonna work out between you two. At least, you thought. The subtle change was there, it began with him slowly avoiding you to openly walking out whenever his eyes met yours. The air between the both of you had taken a nasty turn, for better for him - for worst for you.

Eventually he began meeting someone else, and his world began to light up again. You often pass by the couple enjoying their time together. Seeing Xiao look much more happier with her rather than he was with you was like a jab to your ego, what does she have that you don't? Why is she capable of making him smile that way when you can't? You want to be bitter about how easily he's given up on mending things with you - but you know it yourself that you have no right. Especially when you were the one who had broken up with him first.

Xiao was in the hands of someone better now, better than you'll ever be. So why feel envious? Why feel sour?

You crumble with regret when you realize that had you just given him time - a little more time to feel at ease with you, he would have opened up too. He would've treated you the same as he did her now - hell, possibly even better. He was always capable of change - but you just didn't trust him. Xiao didn't give up on you, you did.

Why am I dogshit with angst I'm gonna cry wtf someone send help I don't like how this turned out

[meowzfordayz]

the metal that binds them

I lie here today thinking about what it means to love someone. About what it means to take care of someone. And what it means to lose someone.

Do we truly lose people? I don’t think so. At least, not as long as we hold them in our memories and our hearts. Of course, a memory of a hand held is but a shadow of feeling the weight of that hand in your own. And, of course, a heart can only expand so much before it needs to breathe and grieve and let its threads unravel. Photos and videos, voicemails and years old gifts: they do their best, but they are never a replacement for the love with which they were taken; with which they were given — they are an extension of that love.

Perhaps that is what it means to lose someone? To lose their flesh and their warmth, to recall the curve of their smile and their lips, like a tendril of winter’s chill—or a caress of summer’s sigh—across your mouth. I often think of love as something intangible. As an inevitable chemistry tugging closer and closer until you find your head resting in their lap, their fondness and adoration spilling from their fingertips as they dance gently along the bridge of your nose, the squish of your cheeks, the sternness of your brow. And yet, love is the most tangible feeling of all.

Love is the embrace between parent and child. Sometimes strained. Sometimes resentful. Sometimes sad, angry, confused, or nothing really. And sometimes, goodbye. Love is the tears caught in one’s chest. Love is blinking upward, swallowing thickly, whispering through a dizzying darkness of imaginary stars: how do I do this without you?

Or is that loss?

As Star Wars, any theater geek, and I myself would tell you: love and fear are simply the sides of a coin, and loss is the metal that binds them.

We care for our loved ones through fear. In fear. And that, to me, is beautiful. Achingly so, but so nonetheless. We lose the ability to laugh together, to plant flowers and trees together, to travel and explore, to rest and touch, to build our lives together. We cherish the blessing of holding on to what has already come to pass. Of what has already shaped us and made us. Of the love we have bathed in for so long; of the love that will linger for… well, forever.

This does not soften nor brighten the sharp silhouette of never hearing their voice again. Of sometimes goodbye turning its final page. Loving someone. Taking care of someone. Losing someone. These are the hardest endeavors tasked to the living. And the most precious.

[lemonmatronics]

I just got done watching Out of the Past and I don’t think I’ll ever recover omg

I cried like 5 times and it took me an hour to get through cause I had to keep pausing to freak out and compose myself

That episode…GOD THAT EPISODE

I wanna ramble so spoilers below the cut since it’s like, actually a lot

So much in that episode got revealed it’s making me insane

Aja and Shana being the first Starlight Girls makes me so insane. Idk if they had ever mentioned that before and I just didn’t notice or forgot, but GOD that adds sm to the whole band’s bond. As well as adding to them working at Starlight too. They didn’t just work there because they agreed with the dream Jacqui stood for, Aja and Shana WERE the dream. That makes me sooooo crazy TEEHEEHEE

Also the reveal of how their mom died…ough

It explains a lot about Jerrica’s whole character to me tbh. Throughout the whole series so far I’ve been here thinking, “Wow, Jerrica is awfully patient and understanding with people. She’s barely ever mad at or super upset with people she cares about, and if she is it’s not for long”

and like…after learning that YEAH, Of course she’s like that! The last time she saw her mother she acted awful to her

What if she gets upset with someone and that’s the last time she ever sees them? It makes so much sense to me and makes what was seemingly a “flat and almost always perfect” type of character a lot more compelling. Not to say I didn’t like her before, I fuckin adore Jerrica, but that layer of extra complexity adds a LOT to her.

Speaking of Jerrica I loved seeing her grieve more. Both her and Kimber both seemed to have delayed reactions to each of their parents deaths, and sure that may have been accidental (most likely was), I think it’s interesting that big events and happenstances cause these emotions to bubble up later on. It’s gives a grounded layer of realism to their characters and I like that!

I also like that Jerrica used to kinda be a brat when she was younger. She wasn’t ALWAYS so thoughtful and acted like any kid and teen would to stuff happening around her, which again I like. It’s a realistic layer to her that adds a lot for me.

Onto talking about her mom more, the insight on both parents makes me nuts. Synergy being made with Jacqui’s voice and such drives me up the wall, that reveal floored me. But I like that it doesn’t change the fact Synergy is still her own separate being, she’s not Jacqui herself, only similar.

And the earrings being the last thing their father made…ohh makes me crazy. He wanted to give them to Jerrica personally…OOOH MAKES ME CRAZY….HE KNEW HE WAS DYING AND SPENT HIS LAST DAYS GETTING THINGS READY FOR HIS FAMILY…...OOOOHHHH MAKES ME CRAZY

And Eric Raymond…Eric when I catch you Eric. I’m going to kill that man I SWEAR DJJSHX Like I knew he was fucked up but OH MY GOD DUDE

Burning them in front of her!? Knowing it’s all she really has left of her mom voice!?

Slap was DESERVED. Her crying for her mom over the fire, her straight up reaching INTO the fire!? Should’ve beaten his ass.

Side note I fuckin love how much they slap men in this show. It’s not so much it loses its shock and impact when it happens, but enough to where you can say “yeah they slap guys a lot” and it’s true.

I also really like that The Misfits aren’t really active antagonists in this episode either. For multiple reasons.

The most they do is help Eric look for those tapes, and they don’t even know why they’re so important. Even after asking, and Eric is the one that finds them anyways so they don’t ever find out. And they’re left at that, no other appearance.

The Misfit’s rivalry with Jem is very petty and spiteful, as much as it may feel personal for them, it’s really not. It’s simply a band rivalry, an extreme one, but it’s formed out of very juvenile motivation.

Eric’s rivalry is not, his beef with Jerrica is IMMENSELY more personal not only because he used to be part of the company, but because he used to be a friend of the family. He knew this girl ever since she was a teenager, and she was ALWAYS a threat to him having full company control. And once she managed to kick him out the door any nice facade with her was over. She’s the reason he lost so much and depends so heavily on a band that treats him like shit (haha).

Their rivalry is infinitely more personal, and for such a personal conflict involving Jerrica’s dead mother, the woman that started Starlight, it only makes sense this would be a battle for him and him alone.

Additionally,, I just don’t think even The Misfits would go that far. Hell even Raymond with anyone else, but because it was Jerrica Benton specifically he had no issue burning her mother’s tapes right in front of her.

[666writingcafe]

So here’s a fun hypothetical jealousy hcs for the boys after finding out MC found a partner before they could confess

One fun hypothetical, coming right up! I will only include the brothers for right now, but I will be more than happy to add the side characters later if you would like.

tw: mentions of suicidal tendencies, murder

Scenario: For whatever reason, he couldn't find it in him to confess to MC how they felt about him. Now, MC's in a romantic relationship with someone else, and what's worse, that someone is one of the people he hates the most.

Lucifer would do everything in his power to destroy the relationship if MC decided that they wanted to become romantically involved with Mephistopheles. The two demons have had a rivalry that spans centuries, and Mephistopheles always finds a way to take Lucifer's most beloved things and turning them into his own. HOWEVER, if MC chose Lord Diavolo, Lucifer would go through the entire grieving process before simply becoming numb. After everything he told MC about Diavolo, he would feel as though they spat in his face. Historically, demons haven't been able to kill themselves, but Lucifer would try his best to accomplish what hasn't been done (after demolishing the House of Lamentation and drinking nearly all of the Devildom's Demonus, of course).

People would expect Mammon to lose it if MC became Levi's significant other, but surprisingly that's not the case. In fact, the idea of MC dating any of his brothers doesn't really faze him all that much. But when Solomon and MC begin hooking up...oh boy. Mammon would use his powers to not only drain the magician of every cent he ever had to his name, but to make sure that he never has the luck necessary to get any money back. The reason for Mammon's extreme hatred of Solomon is simple: he has nearly died so many times from the toxic matter that is Solomon's cooking.

Upon hearing that MC and Satan were dating, Levi decides to end his friendship with MC right then and there and to spend the rest of their life giving them the cold shoulder, even if and when the romantic relationship ends. You see, Satan is everything Levi aspires to be: intelligent, popular, and powerful. Any achievement Levi has is always blinded by anything his younger brother does, and he feels like he doesn't really exist to anybody.

Similar to Mammon, some might expect Satan to go ballistic if MC and Lucifer started dating, but no. That rage is reserved for Barbatos. The demon butler always seems to know more information than Satan, even when it's in a subject that he's an expert in. Unfortunately for the Avatar of Wrath, Satan is powerless to do anything about it. One flick of the butler's wrist, and Satan could simply disappear from the current timeline. Another flick, and Satan wouldn't exist in any universe, period. So, he pretends to be happy for MC, even when all he wants to do is to kill Barbatos.

The only occasion Asmo would get jealous if MC was dating someone that wasn't him is if he couldn't be involved in the relationship in some way. He's the most laid back out of his brothers when it comes to this sort of thing. That is, until Thirteen enters the picture. The minute she arrived in the Devildom, she made every single person Asmo was romantically involved with turn against him in some way or another, and MC's no exception. Still, Asmo does have a reputation to maintain, so instead of obsessing over the loss of MC, he simply moves on to someone else (and hopes that Thirteen doesn't get to them).

Beel is generally too busy with his after-school sports and activities to really care what MC's love life is like or to hold grudges against anyone. Now, if he sees MC becoming involved with someone he finds sketchy, he will pull MC aside and tell them why he thinks they should be careful, but otherwise he's quite chill. He'd have a day or two where he's sad, but as long as he's still able to be friends with MC, he'll be okay.

And then there's Belphie. To say that he's pissed when he hears that MC and Lucifer are dating each other is an understatement. He doesn't care what Lucifer's reasons were for locking him in the attic; he will hold that against his brother until the day one or both of them are vanquished. The youngest brother enters MC's dreams and tries to use his powers to convince their conscious to break up with Lucifer, but when that doesn't work, he gives his brother nightmares.

[natasha-in-space]

Okay I understand, maybe you can do headcanon of RFA and Saeran with MC who look exactly like Rika, maybe same name

Well, this would be a very sensitive and complicated situation for everyone involved, really. Rika was an important person for everyone in the RFA, albeit in very different ways. Imagine mourning someone who has left such a big impact on your life, only to have someone who looks just like them show up one day. It'll be awkward and weird. To put it simply. Everyone is aware that this is not Rika, of course. It would be highly disrespectful to treat this newcomer like they are not a completely different person. I think everyone would be as respectful as can be. However, it would still be extremely uncomfortable for everyone involved.

The circumstances are what determine everything, though. If MC bonds with everyone the way you do in the game, I think all of the issues I'm about to mention would be lessened. That is, without interacting face to face. No one will care how you look, if they already know you as a person. But, if you're asking about their reactions to seeing someone who looks very similar to Rika, without having the opportunity to get to know them first, here's my interpretation.

I don't think Yoosung is going to be able to actually meet MC face to face for quite some time. Both for his own mental health, and because he knows he'll probably make them feel very uncomfortable. And he doesn't want that. But you can't really blame him for seeing his lost cousin every time he looks at them. It's an agonizing experience. He'll need to overcome his grief before actually starting to form a genuine connection with the MC. Out of everyone, he'll definitely have the hardest time of all. But, he'll do his best to be respectful and kind to MC nonetheless. He'll probably experience a lot of guilt over his inability to connect with them properly. But, with time and health communication, I believe he'll definitely pull through it and open himself up to this new relationship.

Zen would be more relaxed since Rika wasn't as essential to him as to some other members. Even so, for quite a long while, she remained a woman he deeply admired and trusted. It's a weird uncomfortable feeling to be met with the stark image of her. Still, he will be mostly respectful and welcoming. I think he's the most comfortable person to get along with out of everyone in this situation. I believe it will take him the least time to fully embrace MC as a new member. He'll probably be their rock of support in this very strange predicament. He understands what it's like to feel a certain way because of your looks. And he doesn't want their new member to feel that way. It’s actually rather sweet to think about him getting all protective and caring over MC in this situation!

Jaehee is... Well, she arguably grieved Rika the least out of the RFA, but that doesn't mean she'll feel any less weird about the whole ordeal. In my opinion, she will be mostly professional and polite in her demeanor. She won't make MC feel uncomfortable, but there is an obvious feeling of distance between them, and that's intentional on Jaehee's part. She might mellow out with time, though. But, for the time being, she'd prefer to keep the relationship strictly professional.

Jumin is pretty similar to Jaehee in terms of his overall attitude, but his situation is far more complicated. Rika was his closest friend after V. Although he doesn't show it in the same open manner as Yoosung does, his grief for her is deep and strong. He'll definitely feel very uncomfortable on the inside the first time he sees this MC. He'll dislike that feeling even more because he understands that this is not Rika, and he shouldn't compare the two. While Yoosung is struggling with the constant reminders of Rika whenever he looks at MC, Jumin will face more frustrations with himself and his own inner feelings. He doesn't like acting illogical. And realizing that he's losing the grip on his emotions is... hard for him. Mostly because it feels like he's not in control of himself. And that's something he can't have, for more than just one reason. I believe that, much like Jaehee, he will keep the relationship mostly professional. He will be polite and respectful towards MC, and he will do everything in his power to make sure that the party is successful and that their new member feels comfortable. But on the inside, he will definitely be having a very difficult time.

For Saeyoung it's... complicated, to say the least. Although he was much closer to V than Rika, their relationship was still very important. Ultimately, she was the one he first met back in the cathedral. As a scared, hungry boy, with no one to turn to. She's the one who cared for his brother, and she's the one he feels forever indebted to. That being said, I do not think it will be as difficult for him as it is for Yoosung and Jumin. But it will still be very uncomfortable. He'll find himself being less playful and more serious around MC, something he has done with Rika whenever she was in the chatroom. He'll probably berate himself for that, distracting himself with his job. In my opinion, he will warm up overtime. After getting to know MC as an individual person.

And for Saeran, well... It really depends on a lot of factors. But if we're talking about him just meeting MC who looks like Rika, it won't be pretty, and he will need to excuse himself to breathe for sure. It's fair to say that Rika is the source of the most trauma for him. It is nothing against MC, but you can't really do anything about your body and mind acting on their own accord to protect you. It really depends on which Saeran we're talking about, as well. SE Saeran will have the strongest reaction of all, while GE Saeran will most likely settle down with some time and space for him to sort through his emotions. With Saeran, it's a very similar situation to Yoosung, only in very different circumstances. Both will have the hardest time of all to avoid the visual similarities. But, while Yoosung it's the feelings of grief, for Saeran, it's the feelings of discomfort and fear. It is very much possible to work through those emotions with lots of time and patience, though.

That's the sentiment for all of them, really. It might be difficult at first, but, none of them would want to make MC uncomfortable. And all of them would come to appreciate and love them regardless.

[astrxlfinale]

' it's nice that you have companions who care about you and whom you care about, ' she muses aloud, ' but, remember : those you love can be both your strength and your weakness. there are moments when the idea of losing something precious blinds all rationality. ' she should know, though speaks it not aloud. there is no need to invite the loss to the forefront of her mind, yet it stays nonetheless. if the Abundance had turned their back on her, then, would she have not been justified in taking her own justice? now, all she does goes against the Abundance's ways.

she laughs. ' this is why so many seek their escape in this dream, ' the redhead ponders on, ' here, some of them don't have to confront the loss. they can do anything, have anyone close to them. it's terrible thing, the truth. ' she should know. and, perhaps, the tint of nostalgia in her gray eyes betrays her.

Love.

A visceral, undying need to care. Caelus adores it, even now such factors never found themselves changed. (Despite every agonized stab that can plague his heart.)

Their granted room within one of Penacony's many high rise hotels would be a dimly lit room, balcony doors sung open in order to let tinges of neon hue and the eternally frozen sky offer their colors to the shadow. From his position, this Nameless doesn't find the will to move, for the urge to simply grieve and bask in internal strife with the growing blooms of doubt continues to agonize him.

He keeps his posture steadied upon the cushions, a golden glare driving forward, only serving as a pitiable mask of anger at bitter memories of the supposed fallen. Supposed, despite the way he saw the form of someone he cared for, horror struck and vulnerable find themselves skewered like a martyr in the name of some grand cause.

All while his useless ass found himself too many steps, too damn late. So where does that leave them? The gaze once lost in all terms of focus would follow Mya, catching the flickers of her ichor like crimson hair, being momentarily lost within her words as a picture is painted. All of it beginning with a melodious laugh as the golden dream's purpose is doled out to him. "Any fantasy brought to life." He continues, the disgust palpable within his tone, finally prompted to draw from his perfect and into a stand.

Caelus was a witness to many things outside of his own terror. A despot that slaughtered countless, only to find themselves escaping in dreams, hiding their shackles of sin in order to be a figure of innocence if reality hadn't touched their soul.

Another was a man of pride, the price of having their genius recognized, of the human err to be seen leading to the decimation of twenty four goddamn planets due to the IPC's iron hand, to the scientist's hunger. Dreams would strip them of their memory, only for the invaluable secrets that could usher another cataclysm.

Then there's those rife with the lifestyle of hedonism. Within Penacony, anything could be, any sickening thought and disrespect to dignity enacted. The mere thought brings the Trailblazer's blood to a boil as he advances towards the window of said balcony.

"As it stands now? This spits on anything considered a dream." The image of Firefly within his mind gradually begins to crack, shattering away in lieu of many other faces, powerful and influential figures alike.

The people Mya mentioned before, people he's come to actually give a damn about. The countless he'd genuinely reach forth in the name of connection.

Whereas nostalgia blooms within their misty colored gaze, a tumultuous stir of wrath burgeons within Caelus's. That would be the focus of those golden eyes; The Family's greatest creation. It was a wonderland that held the rapidly fading remnants of what made dreaming in essence beautiful.

"And if I'm being more honest with you?" Another pause follows as he steps onto the well furnished balcony, allowing his silver hair to tousle in the grazing breeze of replicated winds.

"As long ago as all of this should've been burned to the ground?" There's a pause to those vigor charged words, his head canting to the side, allowing the rebellious glimmer to be spotted within his eye."

"I'll be the one to do it myself."

A declaration of war to the Lie that simply devours was made.

Reality, existence and non-existence alike, all will get its dues. Being a witness to the gaze of Memetic Death has inspired a choice once held on the fence of confusion.

@furiaei

[unohanabbygirl]

Going straight to the deepest part of the seven hells for asking this one but I haven't seen anyone mention this and I'm curious 😭

How would fmbh lucemond react to a miscarriage?? I mean if it's in the earlier years/ after the wedding night (by some miracle misfortune) I feel like they'd lowkey celebrate regardless of who was carrying

But what would become of the relationship dynamic if it happened later down after they resolved some of the tension that's currently occurring in fmbh? Because man that marriage is kept together with hopes, dreams and the westrosi equivalents of ducktape and superglue

Ok, when I say that anything involving the loss of a child or infertility is a fav of mine to read simply because of the emotional turmoil that comes alongside it. It’s angsty, both parties are grieving, tears are shed…It’s a little weird but I own it lol. I’m actually surprised no one has asked before now tbh.

In their early years of marriage a miscarriage would be a saving grace for these two if they were left to deal with an unexpected pregnancy. Neither wants children with the other and their days are spent arguing to the point of major headaches. So a miscarriage is blessing in both men’s eyes. Be that as it may, it doesn’t mean losing this pregnancy wouldn’t come with its own set of problems. Despite being a relief a stupid miscarriage it’s still serious and does leave both dealing with a sense of loss for what could have been if things weren’t just so awful. Luke’s always wanted to be a parent, always imagined a gaggle of babes to love and care for; so as it’s happening the whole process feels like the future he’s looked forward to for so long is truly unobtainable. A final nail in the coffin of giving up his dreams you could say.

He’a grateful yes, but he mourns what could’ve been all the same. Even Aemond does what he can to try comforting Luke considering they’re on less than friendly terms. He’s relieved there’s no child to ruin with their antics but seeing all that blood, the tears his husband sheds and the pain he’s in hits him pretty hard. Neither would actually acknowledge anything with words, instead using actions to express apologies until Luke is back in better health. Their marriage would still be dog shit but it’s the first step in seeing one another as something more than “that man who ruined my life” someone capable of showing kindness and experiencing pain. However, once their parents are made aware this understanding does crumble a tiny bit since they’re still susceptible to adapting whatever their mother’s feel since these two are mama’s boys down to the core. Alicent and Rhaenyra would really do a disservice to this middle ground they’ve come to.

Later down the line is where things would really get heartbreaking. Both Luke and Aemond love each other fully, they want a child and crave that connection, so a miscarriage would be awfully traumatic. For Luke it would affirm every insecurity and fear he’s been battling on his own since he became aware of his “fleeting youth”. Certain it’s a sign that he’s waited too long to finally have a child from his own body. That he’ll never get to experience motherhood in the way he desires most. Coming to point in his loss where he takes a lot of that anger out on Aemond as in his grief striken mind, if his uncle could’ve just outright came to Luke sober and confessed his feelings rather than getting drunk and fucking him before leaving in the night for years on end, then maybe they would’ve had a child years ago. Maybe none of this would’ve ever happened.

Aemond takes it because he knows his husband is in pain as he’s dying on the inside as well. But a part of him being the man he is takes the blame and agrees. Blaming his lack of emotional vulnerability and fear of rejection for why they waited so long and hence, the miscarriage which they automatically assume happened because Luke is “too old”

This would kinda set them back to their old ways, though instead Luke would be the one instigating while Aemond takes the jabs without retaliating. Both would fall into a serious depression pretty quickly, something that wouldn’t be made any easier as both sides of their family would quickly take to blaming the other.

They’ll eventually heal, but that comes after about a year or two of no longer sleeping in the same bed and crying every time they allow their memories to trail back towards that day. Though I can see Aemond offering to carry their next child if Luke’s up for trying again despite being nearly fifty. He still bleeds so the possibility is there.

Luke knows how much his husband still struggles with self-image so offering to carry their child would def bring forth some tears.

[academyofbrokenhearts]

the many lies of sibel yıldırım

Here I am again with yet another Ramo fic, although this one is quite short. And yes, I am still obsessed with them, thanks for asking. AO3 link here.

when ramo's fingers touch sibel's for the first time, and her heart skips a beat, she tells herself it's simply because she has just witnessed a gunshot exchange

she might be a mafia daughter, but she has been quite sheltered up until now

(women are sheltered in her universe)

(women are also nothing, and she hates this)

she has seen men like him before

men who never laugh, men who execute without questioning

but then he laughs at her, and he dances with her, and he kisses her lips, and tells her he's a brave man

she lied she has never seen someone like him before

*

when ramo breaks sibel's heart for the first time, she leaves all the disappointment and the heartbreak out, in waves

he just listens without saying a word

(he's always quiet)

(always quiet when it matters)

she tells him she'll only be his employer's daughter for him from now on

what's the point in loving someone who's only going to break you, what's the point in loving someone at all

but then he's hot and he's cold and they share stolen kisses and stolen glances, always a bit too close, never close enough

she lied

she will never act as just his employer's daughter around him

*

when ramo kills sibel's father, her entire universe shakes and collapses into itself

she never thought he could answer with war to her endless love and she's ready to tear him to pieces

(and he would let her)

(when she points a gun at him, he's standing in front of her, heartbroken, but fearless)

she tells him she will hate him forever

their wedding is bitter, and so is the smell of blood on her knife when she stabs him

but then he tells her the truth, while looking at her like she's his salvation and damnation, his life and death

she lied

she will never hate him

*

when they come for ramo, sibel is a ruin

having just passed death by, knowing that her family is dead, broken and alone

(and yes, they were traitors and monsters, all of them)

(but she loved them, and lost them, and now she is going to lose him too)

she tells them she does not love him

and when they finally leave her alone, she cries like a wounded animal, she feels her heart bleeding out and turning into stone, and it has to be like this if she wants to survive

but when they find out the truth years later, it's way too late for them, because she has turned from ruin to ruination

she lied

she will never not love him

*

when sibel kills ramo the first time, it hurts, but then she has to kill him a second, a third, a fourth time

she thought herself a rock, but the devastation, the mistrust in his eyes is enough to almost undo her

(and how can she fight a battle which she feels she already lost)

(how can she remain strong when he is her weakness)

she tells him again and again that everything is over between them

and only when she's alone and there is no one who can witness her slow death, she allows herself to grieve for all the days that passed and the days that will never come

but when he does find out the truth, he melts all her pain with a kiss, and it's only then that the long winter ends

she lied

nothing will ever be over between them

*

when sibel is in ramo's arms again, there is something she does not tell him

she did spend more nights than she's ready to admit dreaming of his lips and hands on her breasts, her stomach, between her legs

(there have been men before)

(none of them was like him)

she responds to his gentle teasing by telling him she has just missed hearing his heartbeat close, holding him

and in that moment, she fully believes it, because they're still in danger, and death looms close to them, and being able to hold him is more than she ever dared to hope

but when he finally has her again in the still of the night, in their bedroom, it's quick the first time, and excruciatingly slow the second time, and well

she lied

she has missed him in every possible way

[chaosmultiverse]

@superbeaucoupdevisages​ answered:

   It...Hurt. It really hurt. How was one supposed to react to hearing someone you cared so deeply about that had been taken out of your life- That you had SEEN leave your life? No matter the amount of talking Maki had done with various people, her friends included, at the mention of HIM, she would immediately shut down any sort of conversation. She didn’t want to hear it, and she would much prefer to simply bottle these feelings up and forget about them on some dusty shelf. It was such a cruel fate for somebody that she had once held so closely but- She needed to be able to move forward. To keep going day by day with her existence. It should have been enough that sometimes she bought silly little mementos that reminded her of him. It should have been enough to keep his memory in her heart and thoughts. It should have been enough to have his friends around her that understood the pain.

   But...It was never enough. It would never be enough. Especially since the whole incident felt entirely unjust. How could people have decided that it happening was an okay thing? That they had let it gone on for so long? Losing him is what had made her hate the majority of the people on this god awful planet, and nothing could change her mind. Except by some miracle he was still alive on this planet somewhere but- Maki doubted that. She had been through the whole denial part of grieving and would rather not loop back around to it. But if anything- She was still angry. Very angry. So why now? Had she not suffered enough already?”

     “......It’s not FAIR..!” Her fists shook at her side before letting her anger get the better of her. Fist raised, she quickly slammed her knuckles into the mirror in front of her with a small yell.

He wasn’t sure how he was still there, flickering in and out, watching his friends go on. at first... He thought it was a dying dream, something his mind came up with to comfort him, one last lie before the curtain fell but it had became clearer and clearer that no, this was very much real.

And he wasn’t anymore, or well more he was what could be called a ghost, what remained of someone who had died, a ‘living’ memory. He was glad to see that his friends had been living life as much as they could but... It hurt... Watching like a member of the audience instead of being there with them.

He had tried a few times already to grab the attention of his friends, ranging from trying to break or move things to yelling and screaming, begging for them to look at him, see him. Nothing had worked, Kato had never been one to give up but... He needed to take a break, it was driving him insane and making the hole in his heart fill more and more with grief over his own death and he couldn’t take that anymore, he needed to regroup, regather his strength... The one upside to this all was no one could see when he needed to rest, when he was ‘weak’.

Or so he thought as words slipped out, a musing not meant to actually hit Maki’s ears as he was watching her head off to bed once again but... No she reacted, she yelled, replied.

In the broken shards of the mirror was where she could see him, he was blankly staring back at her, his features seemed more hallow, the bags under his eyes noticeable, he had a surprised look on his face.

“You- You can see me?” His voice was a bit off, far away and... It sounded like the memory of his voice, it lacked the breathes between words, the energy from his lungs and chest that his speech had but it was indeed Kaito’s voice.

[paigelts05]

Promises that can't be kept [FNAF Renegade AU]

https://www.deviantart.com/paigelts05/art/Promises-that-can-t-be-kept-FNAF-Renegade-AU-906173137

Renegade File Server Location: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36911932/chapters/92120410#workskin

Published: Feb 6, 2022

The first segment of this fic is from well before the release of security breach, yet I added the ending after I played the game. I intended this to explain why Vanessa Diego (this Vanessa is Vanny, not the security guard. The security guard goes by Sylvia in the Renegade AU, but shares her half sisters legal forename) is at the Pizzaplex. Whilst the intentions that I had planned for her are not possible anymore, I decided to pull the angst card and keep her original intentions, but just have Glitchtrap pull the rug out from under her feet, stopping her from acting on them, which will explain how the reluctant follower who fought back still wound up as the murder bunny at the Pizzaplex, hence the ending of this fic that takes place several weeks after the first part (and holds teasers and references to other segments of my AU). After all, even the best laid plans and promises can all come tumbling down. =°•.🌹 Story 🌹.•°=

°*°•°*°•°*°•°*°•°*°•°*°•🌹•°*°•°*°•°*°•°*°•°*°•°*°

"So you have to meet up with him because...?" Luis asked Vanessa as they got into her car. Ness's car was painfully average as far as cars went. It was normal looking, silver, common brand, standard wheels, no scratches, etcetera. It didn't stand out at all. "It's a case of meet up or die. He's losing his trust in me, and I somehow have to gain it back, AND somehow convince him that I need to take you around with me, otherwise we'll keep having repeat performances of last time if he catches us together again." Vanessa sighed, fastening her seatbelt and staring out of the windscreen, not starting the car until Luis had also fastened his seatbelt. "Right. Got it," Luis nodded. He had been wondering for a long time, and curiosity had gotten the better of him, "and how did you get into this situation anyway." Upon being asked, Vanessa froze. For a moment, Luis thought he may have struck a nerve, but when she smiled and started the car, he realised she was simply shocked, and somehow relieved. "Finally, someone asks. Time to unload almost my whole family history. Good thing the meet up point is so far away, cos I've got a lot to get off my chest," Vanessa spoke with a giggle as she started the car, then continued to speak as she drove. "As far as recent history goes, it all started with my great grandmother. She was such a simp. She had the hots for William's dad, and they wound up having a kid. A few years later, great grandmother got with another man and had Ina. By the time Ina knew about her half sister, she was all grown up and had had a kid - I mean Ina had a kid. Joy. Joy was young, and Ina had recently been laid off form her job because her employer was a peice of shit and when she asked to go part time to take care of her daughter, he just got rid of her completely. So Ina was out of a job and had a kid to feed. That's when her half sister swooped in and helped her get a job at Fredbear's. It all went smoothly for a while. Fredbear's became Freddy's, and the place had been open for over a year. So as it turns out, Ina's half sister made a the same deal with William as what Krasnyy's mother's parents made. Joy was 17 at the time, and it was one of her mates birthdays, you know Krasnyy? It was his 16th when shit hit the fan. Ina and Philip died in a spring lock faliures, and whilst Krasnyy - poor thing - stayed putt as he grieved his dad, my mum seemed to know something was up and booked it to live with her grandma on her dad's side. Did I forget to mention that Ina's husband fucked off, leaving Ina on her own, but, like, his family preferred her to him so deadass just treated her like a daughter still? A few years later, the apartment block they were in was set on fire. It was the middle of the day, and as it was a small building and most people weren't home, no-one actually died, but some people did suffer horrible injuries as they evacuated. You see, my mum was blinded by something whacking her in the face and she ran out the back. No-one found her, so she was pronounced dead dispite there being no body or evidence to prove it. The arsonist was caught, and guess who it was: Ina's half sister. Now, my mum decided it would be safer to assume a fake identity, and even though she was still living with her dad's mum, she was safe somehow. She did have to hop between jobs, which wasn't easy for her, but she was safe. Especially after her mum's half sister died in prison in 92, and Joy was able to go by her own name again, and then she got with this guy and had my half sister. He was a right slimy bastard and tried to accuse her of all sorts of shit. All of it fell through, cos mum's blind. She can't see shit, so all of what he tried to accuse her of fell through, but he still got custody of my half sister cos he had better divorce lawyers and made my half sis lie. My half sis even said that it was a lie, but the bastard just had better lawyers. A few years later, Joy found someone else, and she had me. Even though gran's half sister is dead, I know she's the one who roped me into this. There's this 'item' we have in our family. Whilst normal people can get posessed and fight it off, this item basically makes it nigh-impossible to fight back. Only she could have done this. If it was just the physical item, I'd have not had to do anything for him as he wouldn't be able to use it, but only someone from my family knows how to make it work, so out of all my relatives, only she would have used that relic to make what happened happen. If that damn thing didn't exist, I'd have been able to fight him off just like Cassey and Sylvia did. But I can't. It's a lot harder to fight him off for me. And if I don't do something soon, they'll have complete control over me." When she paused to take a deep breath, Vanessa realised that there were almost there. "Anyway, you know the rest, about that relic and everything recent." She said as she pulled into the car park for the old headquarters of Fazbear Entertainment. Fazbear Entertainment had tried time and time again to make the public think that it had distanced itself from the killers that worked there, but it was all a lie. An expensive lie, given that this time they had even moved all their workers from the regional HQ's to the main one in Utah after building some extra wings there, which left the monolithic building in Chicago empty bar the labs in the basement. Luis was about to step out of the car, when Vanessa stoped him, only saying "Wait," as she got out the car and grabbed some things from the boot. She came back wearing her mask, with a backpack presumably full of blood bags, her nail bat, and some bandages. Taking a small blood bag our of her backpack, she told Luis "If you don't want to ruin your jacket we're leaving it in the car, so take it off. I've got to make you look a bit roughed up." Luis obliged and tossed his jacket onto the back seat. Vanessa then put some of the blood on her hands and ran them through Luis's hair, purposely messing it up. She then flicked some of the blood onto his shirt before smearing some of it onto his face before quickly wrapping bandages around his head, covering his eyes. Then, she adjusted the bandages so that Luis could see. "And this is supposed to do what?" Luis asked, to which Vanessa replied, "I've got my mask, this is your mask. He's more likely to trust me with you if you look like this. Also makes it seem like I've actually converted you to work with me with him. Also if I actually hit you as hard as I told him I did, that scratch on your head wouldn't have healed by now." "But it's been a few weeks." "About that... Lie number 2; frequency." "Oh. ... Oh. I see. So you need to keep your story straight basically." "Pretty much." Luis nodded, then stood up. "Sounds like a pretty daunting task. I just hope everyone at work is ok." "Hopefully. Even with that happening yesterday, I'm sure they'll be safe," Vanessa then checked her watch, "we've got to get moving though. The upper elevators don't work, and he's expecting us to meet him in his old office." Luis didn't like the idea of walking up several flights of stairs in a rotting old building half blind, but if it brought them closer to getting rid of William and stopping that other old dude from attempting to recreate the great fire of London again, it would be worth it. Getting in the building was easy. The door was unlocked, so they walked straight in. Strange machines were dotted about, and it seemed that personnel had been replaced with robots. "Try to look dead inside," Vanessa whispered to Luis, "They'll only bother you if you seem to have free will." Luis tried to fake a deadpan expression, but his fear made this a struggle. But it was good enough. The security gates at the stairwell were deactivated, and had been for many years, which was apparent because they were torn to shreds and rusting from the inside out. Continuing past the ruins of the security gates and up the stairs, they pushed forward. After six flights of stairs, they were only at the third floor, and they both were getting exhausted. Another five flights of stairs, and surprisingly enough, it was Vanessa who collapsed to her knees. "Damnit," she bearly pushed the words out as her throat felt as if it were on fire. Her knees had pretty much given in, and they still had nine flights of stairs to climb. "Why did the meet up point have to be so high up." She rummaged through her bag and grabbed two water bottles, passing one to Luis. The two took a short break, but they didn't have much time left, so Luis helped Vanessa up, and they carried on up the stairs. "Damn my knees, if they weren't shitty, we'd probably be a lot further up by now." This was not the first time that Luis had heard Vanessa complain about her knees. It had been a recurring thing and had frequently determined the route they'd take when going on walks, but it was times like these where it was obvious how intrusive her bad knees could get. When it was clear that she was struggling, he helped her keep standing and moving up the stairwell. "We're almost there. Just keep up the act, and everything will be fine." Luis nodded. He hadn't spoke since they entered the building, and he wasn't going to blow their cover by talking now. Heading through the double doors, they saw Glitchtrap standing at the end of the hallway. "You were beginning to run a bit late, so I thought I would come and find you." It's voice was staticy and put both of them on edge. "Stairs," Vanessa replied, still trying to catch her breath, "could we meet up on a lower floor next time. I've told you about my knees before." "Subsequent meetings will be held on floor four. This one shall still take place in my office." They all made their way to the room at the end of the corridor. Luis wondered how Vanessa was staying so calm. His heart was pounding in his chest, and not in a good way. Vanessa wondered how Luis was keeping up his dead-inside act so well. She could hear her heartbeat in her head as adrenaline pumped through her body. "Take a seat," Glitchtrap said as he opened the door to his office. The gesture had a grandiose and regal air, which when combined with his businessman demeanor felt rather patronising. Especially coming from an oversized plush toy. The first thing you'd notice about this office is that it was a mess: documents strewn everywhere, drawers ripped out of filing cabinets and desks and tossed across the room, a broken paper guillotine sitting on the desk, stained with blood that had to have been at least a few years old. A fight clearly happened here many years ago, with no effort at cleanup since. Vanessa's observations were promptly cut short by Glitchtrap's staticy voice, "let's review your progress." Vanessa's attention was drawn away from the trashed surroundings and back to the ghost piloting a fursuit who was now sitting behind the desk. If the tonal change at the door was the start of his facade switching, then he had truly switched facades, changing from the maniac that she knew to the businessman she didn't know. His tone had also changed completely from the homicidal restaurant mascot he initially confronted her as to that of a disappointed CEO. "So far," Glitchtrap continued, "you've amassed one follower and appear to be working on amassing five others. As for your other tasks, you say you've selected a target, but I'm yet to see you take any action." The staticy voice held an air of superiority, like a boss giving orders to a worker. "Other than that, you've only managed to start a few minor tasks." Glitchtrap glared at her as if he were looking down his nose through a pair of glasses, "I'm beginning to believe you aren't as competent at this as you claim to be. The only things you've managed to complete are things I've overseen." Hearing those words made Vanessa's blood run cold. She was worried that he was catching on, or worse, that he had given up all together and was going to turn her into some mindless servant using that blasted heirloom of hers that he stole. At least her mask hid her face, so hopefully he wouldn't be able to tell that she was scared. "So," he continued, "Do you have any reason why you've not managed to accomplish much?" Now that she had an invitation to speak, she had to think of something to say, and fast. What would William Afton want to hear? What excuses would be acceptable? What would he tell him? She had it. "I've been making small steps, but I didn't want to get caught." Vanessa started, remembering what a friend of her mum's friend had told her, "You see, each opportunity hasn't been as seizable as you'd perceive. There are far more security cameras in the world nowadays, so finding suitable locations is not as easy as it was back in the eighties." A sly grin crept across Glitchtrap's face before he spoke again. "I see you've done your homework. I'll let your lack of action slide for now. Especially since I have a special task for you, which may make your current task easier. I want you to go to this mall. Freddy's Pizza megaplex, or did they abbreviate it without my express permission. I can't recall. But I want you to go there. It's under my command, so cameras and witnesses will be a non-issue, and there will be plenty of targets for you to trap and pick off. A woman works there with the same first name as you. You may find killing and framing her at some point useful so we can get many targets in one and keep you in the clear - as you seem to enjoy having all your bases covered." Vanessa meekly nodded back, "Alright. I'll start working on a better disguise than just this mask, and get to work as soon as possible." "Good. Now don't let me down." And with that, Glitchtrap vanished, and thier meeting was over. Vanessa dismissed herself and Luis - who had been standing next to Vanessa doing absolutely nothing the whole time - from the office and proceeded down the stairs in silence. Once they were back in the car, Vanessa removed her mask and passed Luis his jacket back. "We can talk freely now." She said before collapsing on the steering wheel, exhausted, both physically and mentally. "I can't believe he wants me to kill my half sister. This can't be happening." Vanessa said as she sunk further into the seat. "I thought your half sister was called Sylvia?" Luis replied, a bit confused. "Yeah, her legal name is Vanessa. She goes by her middle name. Mum didn't know until the court case as she didn't know her first husband had switched the names. Anyway, that's besides the point." Vanessa shook her head before continuing, "He wants me to go somewhere and kill a bunch of kids, and then frame Sylvia for it all." "All he seems to actually want is for you to kill people. He didn't seem that happy about you 'converting' me - he definitely wanted me dead. How have you been able to dodge his requests so far like that? Are you ok, like, mentally? Are you sure he's not catching on?" "Sure I'm sure. If these excuses were valid for Vincent in the 90's they're even more valid now, but it won't hold forever." "Vincent? Isn't he that Springtrap we put all those poisonous flowers on after he got delivered to us? You know, the dude who immediately started complaining about the people that dragged him to us, but he was actually really nice and really just a pleasant guy even though he's dead? Him?" "Yep. That one," Vanessa sighed, "he actually used to work as a hitman under the orders of William's right hand man. He wants William gone as much as I do, so I might be asking him for help. It might be a last resort though, as talking with him outside of animatronic maintainance would instantly tell William that I'm betraying him." "Right." Luis was a bit shocked, but somehow not surprised about any of that. He was pretty numb to the shock of learning about dark pasts and such, so learning that the undead man with an interest in gardening was actually a hitman actually made a lot of sense. "So," Luis continued, "we keep on bluffing and call Vincent as a last resort as a helping hand?" "Kind of," Vanessa said as she started the car, "Well keep bluffing, but as soon as we call for help, it'll be all hands on deck. Vincent, Cassey, Mike, Sylvia, everyone. If I want to stand a chance, I'll need all the help I can get. Once I go to the megaplex on my own terms, that'll be the day it all ends. I'll take him down there, no matter what it takes." ***** The memory of that day stung in Luis's chest as he stood at the door to the guest room. Moonlight beamed in and basked the small room and the open cardboard box in the centre in a silver glow, whilst the shadows were bathed in blue. The curtains bellowed out of the window, almost beckoning him to approach. As he stepped toward the window, other memories flooded into his head. Like how when they returned to the maintenance firm that day, they had found that Adelaide had struck and had only been thwarted by Raha being able to arrive late that day, and how the so-called 'ritual' that she interupted had almost killed Dan. He remembered the days after, when Dan had recovered and Ness had fallen ill. He remembered how they had received tech support from a 'V_A', and how that account had been used to run admin commands on thier system, releasing all the Springtraps from the Special Delivery project. He remembered the day Ness limped back in, not entirely herself, and the girls had grabbed her, causing whatever had had a stranglehold on her mind to leave, albeit temporarily. He remembered Ness moving in with him, wanting to not be alone. He remembered the night that 'Vanny' had taken over, and that he was only able to stop her from killing him by tearing off the rabbit mask. He remembered how scared she was, and how he had vowed that he'd do his best to make sure that that leech wouldn't hurt her again. He wasn't able to keep that promise. As he finally approached the window, he saw a car - Ness's car - drive away. The steering seemed shaky, as if an old man was trying to drive for the first time in years. Luis remembered the promise that Ness had made to him the day they went to the old HQ, and knew that she was incapable of keeping hers. °*°•°*°•°*°•°*°•°*°•°*°•🌹•°*°•°*°•°*°•°*°•°*°•°*°

[holeynightsky]

overthinking albums: midnights pt. 1

welcome back, lovelies! today's Long Rant is brought to you by all the beautiful RWBY art i've been seeing as we get hyped about vol9.

today, we'll be thinking way too hard about the lyrics and general vibe checks of taylor swift's midnights album, and how each song was specifically written with a RWBY character/relationship/arc in mind. this is going to be split into two parts, because i, ahem, hit the character limit for a text block post on tumblr.

(what's that? sorry, i can't hear you, but if you're suggesting the album was not in fact written about a niche animated show, i'm replying with shhhhhhhhh.)

the album can be found here on spotify, if you're interested in listening along.

lavender haze - okay guys we gotta start with a bumbleby song. and this one--whoo boy. are you kidding? hell yeah! you don't really read into / my melancholia.... i just wanna stay in that / lavender haze. i mean come on. can't you just see blake singing about yang? staring into her eyes? the epitome of sapphic love??? also, obsessed with the way adam didn't scare yang off in conjunction with the line they're bringing up my history / but you weren't even listening. i know it's not a one-for-one match but i'm gonna die on that hill.

maroon - bear with me for this pain, but: a jaune-grieving-pyrrha song. the visual of the two of them over time, all those shades of red... the tension just before and during the vytal festival arc (how the hell did we lose sight of us again? / sobbing with your head in your hands / ain't that the way shit always ends).... jaune in the forest during vol4 (and i wake with your memory over me / that's a real fuckin' legacy)... him standing in front of her statue, finally putting his ghosts to rest (the rust that grew between telephones / the lips i used to call home / so scarlet it was maroon)

anti-hero - a hot take, but i feel like this is a song for oz/oscar/ozma. i have this thing where i get older but just never wiser is him struggling under the weight of everything he knows and all the ways he's fucking it up anyway. not to mention this whole thing: i end up in crises / tale as old as time / i wake up screaming from dreaming / one day i'll watch as you're leaving / 'cause you got tired of my scheming / for the last time. i--i don't even think i need to explain this one? are we good to move on?

snow on the beach - a qrow/clover song. you might think this is qrow thinking about clover, because of lines like you wanting me / tonight feels impossible--but ohoho, slow down there my friend. i will die on my headcanon hill that clover was just as traumatized as qrow, just with different coping mechanisms, and that he was absolutely whipped within hours of meeting him. plus, qrow just deserves at least one (1) nice thing--and don't you want to see him getting all flustered and happy when someone else looks at him and thinks of the lines i searched 'aurora borealis green' / i've never seen / someone lit from within / blurring out my periphery? akjsdbfkasjfh and the pause after can this be a real thing, can it? with their hands gently brushing.... hello? my heart?

you're on your own, kid - yang. yang alllllll the way. am i maybe projecting the oldest-female-child-syndrome? yep. but i mean--oh my god how could it not be??? i didn't choose this town / i dream of getting out / there's just one who could make me stay doesn't have to be romantic. that can be her thinking of ruby. my friends from home don't know what to say / i looked around in a blood-soaked gown / and i saw something they can't take away is living at the dorms in vale and leading up to the fall of beacon, 'cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned / everything you lose is a step you take is her recovering her confidence in vols 4 & 5. you're on your own, kid / yeah, you can face this / you're on your own, kid / you always have been is that moment where she steps past raven and ventures into the spring portal alone...... i'm simply not okay.

midnight rain - raven and ty. we were all thinking it, right? i mean. i mean. how could it be anything else? my town was a wasteland / ... / my boy was a montage / a slow-motion, love potion / ... / i broke his heart 'cause he was nice. the way she left but didn't feel guilt that we really see at any point in the show? he wanted it comfortable / i wanted that pain / he wanted a bride / i was making my own name pretty much sums up that dynamic. ty is a himbo and i love him but as soon as we met raven i was like "oh, obviously that wasn't gonna work." also, i peered through a window / a deep portal, time travel / all the love we unravel / and the life i gave away is so perfectly on the nose it's not even funny.

question...? - blake and ilia!! blake! and! ilia! specifically, ilia being bitter as she watches blake move through various relationships with various levels of health, and never once look at her. good girl, sad boy / big city, wrong choices / we had one thing going on / i swear that it was something / 'cause i don't remember who i was before you. or, or!! she was on your mind / with some dickhead guy / ... / it was one drink after a another / fucking politics and gender roles / and you're not sure and i don't know / got swept away in the gray. i simply cannot. i shall pass away before i ever make my peace with this level of pining.

stay tuned for part two, coming soon! <3

[cupcaketrickster]

{[ @ambitiousillusions continued from HERE ]}

If someone had asked her, Astrid wasn’t even sure why she was telling Jester all of this. She had always been closed off, well. Ever since coming to Rexxentrum anyway. The person she had been before the Academy, before everything had gone to hell, was so different from who she was today, that it sometimes felt like it had been her in a completely different life.  She missed the girl she had been, sharp and smart, and hungry for knowledge, not afraid of anything. These days it was hard to even get up in the mornings without the crushing weight of the fear weighing down her chest. Astrid hated it, and yet she had been taught to suppress her emotions, so she got up, got dressed and went about her day, because anything else was simply not in the cards.

She could not give up. She could not fail. Glancing up to meet Jester’s eyes, Astrid briefly wondered if the other woman was too naive, or if she had become too cynical over the years. It’s probably a mix of both, but Astrid knows that, deep down, there’s still that girl, that wants to believe in true love, even if it’s never been her priority. Still... “It’s always been us against the world.” She eventually spoke again, “Or...maybe not the word, but it’s always been us. And...we were both terrified to lose each other, especially after we’ve lost Bren. And...” She paused, shaking her head. “Seeing him again...seeing the man he became? It...broke my heart, in a way.” This was her being...unusually honest, but Jester already knew more about her than most people did, and it didn’t feel fair to leave her hanging now.  “I think...Wulf and I haven’t put what we felt into words for such a long time, that it’s hard to even figure out where to begin. But...you’re right.” A slight smile tugged on the corners of her lips as she reached out to push a strand of hair behind Jester’s air. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

there is so much she doesn't know about caleb's life, let alone astrid and eadwulf's. even before tragedy and torment, they lived such a different life than she had, but oh that does not stop her longing for understanding and her unyielding compassion for the three of them. so the tiefling listen's and stays quiet, nodding her head to make sure astrid knows she is listening. she stays close. and she tries not to cave into the urge to grab and hold onto astrid's hand and squeeze it tight in both encouragement and hopefully comfort.

her silence continues, though, as astrid smiles and pushes a lock of her hair behind her ear, violet eyes widening and a bit of a blush filling her cheek, the tiefling internalizing her advice, but not speaking a comment on it, instead her eyes tearing away to look about before looking back at astrid.

“ from the sounds of it, it does sound like it’s been you against the world, together or not. ” and that wasn't fair. not at all. no one should have that sort of heaviness on their shoulders, especially not someone so young who only wanted to learn. " and just because i am right does not make it something that is any easier. it also was not an easy thing to do at the time but... well things are different now, yes? "

maybe she was a bit too optimistic about things, she knows, and it might make the pair of them clash heads on this topic, but she has so much hope for astrid becke and eadwulf grieve, just as much hope as she has for her friends, and she is just hoping she gets to see and know the amazing things they go on to do.

" whatever has changed is okay... and whatever remains is okay too. conversations are easy to have but you both are free now. or freeier... " there's the assembly still, an assembly she hopes to see blown apart by every destructive force imaginable, but without trent, weren't they both a bit more free to make their own choices? even if only for a little while?

jester caves, grabbing hold of astrid's hand. " i can tell you anything you want to know about him. caleb... " she doesn't feel she has the right to the name bren, but she feels odd saying it before astrid. " and i would love to help you talk through what you feel. i know we barely know each other, though, so if you'd rather not, i understand. but i am here for you. you don't have to deal with what's in your mind all alone. "