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axeoverblade · 1 year

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Classmate

PART ONE (CURRENT); PART TWO ; PART THREE

Earth 42! Miles Morales x fem! reader

Synopsis! For the life of you , you couldn’t understand why Miles had it out to get you so bad. If it wasn’t for the mid-year seat change, he wouldn’t have even acknowledged your existence.

MASTERLIST

Genre: light fluff, enemies to lovers like trope, light bully!Miles

Warnings: mentions of sa (nothing happens just mentioned), mentions of violence, maybe foul language but I think that’s it enjoy!

word count: 5k

Authors comment: I keep seeing School themed hcs and I had to say me sphewl(?), planned to be one shot but thinking about a part two. Sorry for any bad translations my Spanish is meh, please leave a like <3

It was known half way through the school year at Visions Academy the teachers changed the assigned seats. Being in your last hour, you were pretty much comfortable sitting next to almost anyone in the class.

Albeit, you did have a few in your mind you would rather not be sat with. Kids who didn’t like to do the group work, kids who talked too much, kids who always were trying to copy answers, etc.

The teacher went through the neatly organized desks column by column, starting on the left side closest to the door for the new seating chart. There were only four columns seeing as the wooden desks were double seated. You listened as she went through assigning kids to chairs, finally reaching the last column. There were about seven other kids along with you still waiting to be called to the four desks available. All the kids left were somewhat iffy options to be next to for the rest of the year.

…

Only you and three others were left. She called out to the second to last desk, “Amanda and John”. You sigh a breath of relief happy to not be sat next to John who had a crush on you, your thoughts replaying all the times he had tried to get with you. Feelings were not mutual. “ And Finally Y/n and Miles.”

You walked over to the seat from the front of the room, seeing the Miles kid already getting comfortable in his new seat closest to the wall.

You never had the chance to talk to Miles much. Actually, you don’t think you’ve ever talked to him. He was very reticent in the classroom. The moment he finished his work which was always relatively quick, he was out of the class leaving a few minutes to spare coming back before the bell rang.

There was a reason you never made an effort to talk to Miles. In fact, it was more like you endeavored to avoid him. His hedonistic friend group were known for being-, uncivil. They treated others horribly, always making someone do something that would make your stomach churn if you had to be the one to do it. And even though Miles was known to never actively participate in those things, anyone who hung around people who did those things were bound to start someday.

What confused you though, he was extremely smart unlike the jerks he was always with. You heard he was one of the highest scoring kids, every report card stamped with straight As. That wasn’t much at this school, almost everyone had straight As and high Bs, but all his grades averaged above 94.

There was also no denying he was very attractive. Surprisingly he was never seen with anyone romantically, unlike his friends who always had a girl or two under their arms. There were definitely people were lined up at his feet though, always trying to cling to him. He always just brushed them off, sometimes blunter than he needed to be.

You had seen it once, a girl you hadn’t really liked had gone up to him during passing period asking for his number only for him to look at her and walk right past her. All his friends and their shallow twats of girlfriends laughed at her, walking with Miles past her.

She cried in bathroom for forty minutes after.

You stood next to your seat, putting your bag down. “Hi I’m y/n” you said, formally introducing yourself to Miles for the first time. He looked up to you from his phone. You watched as he took his time studying you, making you slightly flustered as his eyes roamed your body. He looked back down at his phone, disregarding your presence. “I know.”

You blinked a few times processing the abrupt rudeness.

You rolled your eyes and whispered a few choice words to yourself about the interaction as you sat down, realizing you were stuck next to him for the rest of the year.

You pulled out your phone, texting your friend and roommate Mei, who was across the room, about how rude Miles was. She looked up, seeing you staring at her irritated. She giggled before texting back.

Mei: He so fine tho 😍 ask em if he needs a dog

You: Mei 💀

You: he’s so rude n for what? Like he could’ve just nodded or said his name. I know he got that whole “bad boy” thing goin but ain’t have to do allat

Mei: Ion know gl tho 💯

You: Ur no help 😭 Ima ask for a seat change

Mei: It's the first five minutes you have sat next to each other, maybe he is just nervous from ur emmense beauty 😩 I know I would be

Mei: PLUS u know Ms Reita does not b swappin seats. You know how many times I asked to be moved from Jessica only for her to say tuff luck and move on? Seventeen times. Just give it time n maybe it gets better you never know

You: 😐

You shook your head and put your phone down as the teacher started passing out the work. It was a normal worksheet due by the end of class. You went through, solving the easier problems before going back and finishing the ones you skipped.

You were on your last problem when Miles hand shot up lazily. Ms.Reita looked at him and sighed, knowing that he was going to leave for almost the rest of class period if she let him leave the room. “Is your worksheet finished?” “I wouldn’t be raisin’ my hand if it wasn’t.” “Watch it Morales, wouldn’t want to have to tell your Mom you have detention would you?” He sighed before mockingly smiling “sorry Ms.Reita, can I so humbly excuse myself?” He batted his eyelashes for extra effect, clearly tired of the interaction and ready to leave. She huffed as pointed to the door. You snickered to yourself watching the exchange. He looked at you, a glint of amusement washing over his eyes, but the look left as soon as it appeared. He looked away getting up and walking out.

You walked with Mei back to your shared dorm, talking about the nonsense that flooded your minds. Luckily for you, it was Friday and you could go home tonight, you just had to go grab your bag and you would be free from this hell hole.

…

“Alright Mei I’ll see you on Monday” you said, grabbing your suitcase and backpack, pulling it with you to leave. She smiled and waved, still packing. “Bye baby mama” you rolled your eyes playfully at what she said. She would constantly make jokes about how she could care for you and be your sugar momma, even though she was just as broke as you were.

You walked toward the lobby of the school, seeing the exit to the building so close. It felt like knowing air was near when you were drowning, finally being able to catch a break and breathe- “oh sorry baby girl, didn’t see you there.” You felt someone bump into you, too intentional for it to be accident. You cringed at the nickname and gathered yourself. Luckily you hadn’t fallen, just stumbled causing your bag to fall off you. “Don’t call me that John.” You said, picking up your bag and slinging it in on your shoulder. “You know you like it” he said, closer than he needed to be. Recoiling at the sound of him so close to your ear, you stuck your hand out and lightly pushed him further from you. “I really don’t, I already told you I want nothin’ to do with you.” You continued to walk to the exit, only for him to walk beside you. “Cmon baby I can show you the world, stop playing hard to get.” You looked at him, stopping in your tracks, “I’m not playing hard to get, this is me playing I don’t want you” “so you admit you're playing about not wanting me?” He said, smirking. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, just wanting to go home. “For the final time John, I am not interested.” You walked again, this time he didn’t follow because his friends were walking up to him. “I’ll see you on Monday baby!” He called out loudly, drawing attention to the both of you. You scowled and walked faster out the building, happy to not have to see John for a few days.

Unbeknownst to you, Miles was watching the interaction from the beginning, ignoring his friends talk about the girls that passed or the sexist comments they made. He noted how you reacted to John, how much disgust surged through your body language. He disliked John, but for separate reasons. John was one of those guys. Class A jock who didn’t know when to quit. Also didn’t know when to shut their mouths. Granted, those were the exact people he hung around. But at least he could tolerate their idiocy, and it was better than walking around the school alone all day. Only kid he hung around that wasn’t like that was his roommate Ganke.

He watched as you scowled and left the school. He shrugged minding his own business, zoning back into the conversation about who had the biggest boobs.

Monday rolled around quicker than you could’ve imagined. And it felt like a Monday, which never helped. You trudged into your last hour groggily, just wanting to be done with the day so you could go back to your dorm and sleep. Walking over to your seat, you looked at Mei across the room. She wiggled her eyebrows, mouthing for you to initiate conversation with Miles. You rolled your eyes, sitting down. Miles was sketching lightly on the worksheet already passed out on the desks. You tried to look at it, but the braid that draped over his shoulder covered your view. You didn’t want to seem invasive, so you just grabbed your sheet and began working.

Finishing the sheet quickly, you got on your phone, scrolling through your socials. You saw a news alert flash across the top of your screen, some message about “the prowler striking again” over the weekend. You swiped it away.

You didn’t hate the prowler in all honesty, but you would never admit that out loud. Whoever was under the mask did bad things, but usually only to bad people. Usually.

The police barely did anything anymore, making it hard to even go outside without getting mugged or groped or something bad. With the prowler being out and about, some idiots have been scared off the streets, enough to where you could at least walk to and from your family apartment to school. In your eyes, the vigilante kinda helped a little.

“Stop tapping, its annoyin” a voice rudely interrupted you from your thoughts. You looked over to see miles looking at you, semi-irritated. You hadn’t realized you were tapping the desk, something you did unconsciously when you were lost in your own mind. You pulled your hand back, putting it on your thigh, “my fault, ain need all that attitude though” you said looking at him. He rolled his eyes and started drawing again. “Whatcha’ sketching?” You asked, leaning towards him slightly. He looked at you with furrowed brows, blinking a couple of times, before going back to sketching ignoring your question. El tiene algunos nervios. Instead of just excusing his behavior like you did on Friday, you opted to invade his personal space; moving his braid, your head now hovering over his shoulder. He moved his body quickly, his reflexes faster than you could process. “Qué coño estás haciendo?” He said sternly, but you didn’t budge. “You didnt wanna respond” you said not looking at him, more focused on the drawing. “That ain’ answer my question” he said, you could feel the irritation laced in his voice, but instead of leaving him alone like he wanted, you grabbed the paper to get a better view. The drawing was a well portrayed mask of sorts, oddly similar to the prowlers, and a few weapons all sketched on the back of his paper. You raised your eyebrow at the drawing. He was actually really good at drawing, the detail for him to have started that less than twenty minutes ago impressed you. He snatched the paper back. You turned your head to him, seeing him looking at you with furrowed eyebrows, getting ready to say something. “Answer me next time and I won’t have to do that” you said before he could speak, a mocking smile laying on your lips. He rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath before going back to sketching.

One word, Regret.

You really wish you hadn’t decided to let you imaginary balls get the best of you. Because now Miles how a personal vendetta against you. Damn your pride. Within the span of few weeks he somehow had broken into your locker and trashed you books, he made sure it wasn’t anything that you couldn’t fix easily though, just a few torn pages. He constantly would shove you, which he mude sure to do lightly to not actually hurt you, into the lockers when he passed you in the nearly empty halls when he was with his friends. He would say the most outlandish things to you whenever you passed him when the halls were too crowded and others could see what he did. He made sure his friends didn’t mess with you though, knowing they would take it way too far how they had with the other kids they harassed. And even though you tried to ignore him the first few weeks hoping he would stop, he never did. You swore you could feel yourself loosing your mind.

Miles had only originally planned on pestering you for a day or two to get the point across that you should’ve left him alone, but then he realized how fun it was to provoke you. You became his entertainment, or at least that was the reason that he told himself he went out of his way to annoy you. And now that he had gotten on your last nerve, you were like a ticking time bomb every time.

You made school easier for him, giving him something to look forward to. Your reactions were always so animated, almost comical, making messing with you so funny. He didn’t just mess with you in sense of picking on you., he would mess with you feelings too. He looked for you in the halls just to go behind you and pull you by your backpack into him. You would lose your balance then he would put his hands on you waist to stabilize you, whispering in your the cusp of your ear sternly to “watch where you’re going mami”, a nickname he now would often call you just to see how irritated and flustered you would get. You would always reply with a snarky remark, something along the lines of “he pulled you into him”, always stuttering through the sentence no matter the amount of times he had done this to you, siempre fue tan mono a él. Something that unintentionally brought his face to a smirk was how you never mentioned anything about the nicknames he gave you like you did with John.

His friends would constantly make comments about how Miles liked you and now you were off limits, but every time he shot the idea down with a quick annoyed face. But perish the thought one of his friends gets talks about you the wrong way. They had seen the way Miles looked at the guy who had walked up to and called you pretty. Didn’t ask for your number, didn’t do anything weird, just called you pretty. The problem wasn’t even the compliment, it was how genuinely big you smiled but it wasn’t because of him.

Miles wasn’t going to deny he found you attractive. He had seen you the first day he walked into Vision academy a year ago and couldn’t get you out of his head for week. Hell you were probably the prettiest girl in the school, but maldito eres molestosa. When laying on the bed in his dorm room the nights he wasn’t out doing his prowler work, he could hear your pesky voice ringing in his ears, también pudo ver tu cara hermosa. He hated it. He hated how sometimes your face would pop up in his brain during a mission, and it would make him falter for a moment. Something as simple as hesitating, even for a millisecond, could’ve had him killed mid fight.

He didn’t actually care for you, at least that’s what he told himself. So you can understand why it bothered him so much that he hated weekends now, knowing it was extra days where he couldn’t see you, feel you. Even if it was just a brush on the shoulder when doing partner work, or him shoving you lightly when walking past, glaring at you like you were the one that bumped into him.

It annoyed you to no end you were stuck next to him for the rest of the year. What annoyed you even more was how attracted you were to him. He was so dismissive toward you, and for some reason you would sit in your room giggling with Mei about how his laugh, even though the only reason you had heard it was because he was making fun of you, was the most attractive thing you have ever heard.

…

Luckily today was Friday so you could enjoy the weekend.

It had been a few months since you had been moved next to Miles, a few months since you decided to overstep a boundary you wish you hadn’t, a few months since you’ve been slowly loosing your sanity. Miles had taken it upon himself to mess with you in class, staying for almost the whole period now a days to do just that.

“If you would finish your work then we could be done already” you mumbled under your breath, looking at the shared work you had to do that Miles hadn’t even looked at, too engrossed in his phone. The two of you had been going back and forth since the start of class, now only roughly fifteen minutes left. He looked up to you, squinting from annoyance, “do you ever just, I don’t know, close your mouth?”. You rolled your eyes “If you, I don’t know, finish your half so I can go turn this in then yea maybe I would.” He scoffed, pulling the paper closer to him. A few minutes passed and he slid the paper over to you “don’t say anything else”. You looked at the paper, seeing he had completed his half of the work in record time, you must really annoy him. “Well if you just did that earlier” you said sarcastically, picking up the paper and walking over to the turn in bin, placing the paper in it.

As you walked back to your seat, John started to talk to you. You pursed your lips, walking past him heading to your seat behind him. That didn’t stop him, as all he did was turn his chair around to face you. “So the party is tonight, you can come-” he paused, putting emphasis on the word winking at you, hinting at something else. You looked at him disgusted. “And we can have a lot of fun, perfect chance for you to see how much you truly like me.” You blinked a few times, “yea no” was all you said before looking at your phone. You didn’t fail to hear the small, quiet breathy laugh that fell from Miles lips as he stared at his phone, overhearing the conversation. His laugh alone could make your knees buckle. You quickly brought yourself back to reality, not letting your mind flow with any positive thoughts about Miles. “Cmon’ baby, promise I’ll show you a good time.” “Ain’ I tell you not to call me that?” You said, annoyed that John just couldn’t leave you alone. “You know we locked in, you keep playin.” “John-” “aight hear me out, you come to the party, if you don’t have a nice time -which I can guarantee you will- I’ll leave you alone, how does that sound?” “You’ll leave me alone?” You said, intrigued by the offer. “If you come.” You sighed, “lemme ask my momma.” He smiled widely, happy to have finally convinced you. Miles secretly looked between the two of you with his eyebrows furrowed, thinking how pathetic John was.

A few minutes passed as John sat facing you, waiting for a response. You sighed, causing him to perk up. “I need to be home by 11, and you have to send me the address. My mom also needs your number and your mommas number, comprende?” He nodded quickly, typing all the information into your phone so you could send it to your mom. You sent the message, already regretting your decision.

Sure enough.

You sped walk home, the time nearing 10:45. Wiping the tear that trickled down your cheek, you scoffed. The party started off great, you and John had a great time, initially.

Then things got weird, he tried to take you to a bedroom upstairs, you declined, him being intoxicated, grabbed you forcefully to take you up. You were glad you were taught basic self defense. You kneed him in the bolas and grabbed your bag, quickly leaving. You wondered what would’ve happened if you had dranken something, where you wouldn’t have been fully aware of your surroundings. You hurrying to dismiss the thought, happy to be out the party

Normally you would be much more aware of the world around you, had you not been so lost in your thoughts. “Hey there pretty lady” you heard, you couldn’t catch a break tonight. You started walking quicker, almost jogging with your eyes focused ahead of you, as you just wanted to get home safely. “You ain’t hear us talkin to you?” Your eyes widened at the mention of us, realizing there was more than one. You searched for your switch blade that would usually be inside your pocket, but it was no where to be found. You figured it must’ve fallen out at the party, you silently cursed to yourself. Three men were now matching your speed, and suddenly were next to you.

“What’s a little momma like you doing out here all alone, don’t you know there’s bad guys out here?”

“Don’t worry baby, we’ll keep you safe”, they grabbed you forcefully covering your mouth so you wouldn’t alert anyone, not like anyone would help. They pulled you to the nearest alley. You bit the hand of whoever was covering your mouth, causing them to let go of your face. You took this as an opportunity to scream for dear life, only to be smacked into a state of drowsiness. You quickly shook yourself out of it, feeling the stinging sensation spread across your face. Your ear was ringing lightly, and you could’ve sworn this dude knocked your tooth loose. You spit at the guy across from you, seeing bloody saliva land on his face. The guy behind you who was holding you let go and moved to the side. Before you could react to the new found freedom, you were pushed roughly into the wall behind you. “Tonto puta, all you had to do was cooperate” the guy in front of you said, wiping the spit off his face.

Ready to accept whatever was going to happen, you closed your eyes and scrunched your face, only to hear screams of pain from the three men, followed by an uncanny silence.

You opened your eyes, seeing the prowler standing where the man in front of you once was with a bloody claw. The three men were laying on the ground, damn near lifeless. Your eyes widened, your mouth parting from the sight. The vigilante stared at you, you could see the eye like symbols displayed on the mask slightly widened at the sight of the hand-mark on your face before recomposing into a stoic, neutral setting. You were too shocked, and mostly scared to say anything.

The figure got closer, to which you could work out was a male. You took note of the two braids cascading down their neck behind the mask, as well as the oddly clean Jordan’s they sported. You didn’t have much time to take in their lanky appearance, as they took a final step towards you, making it so you had to look up at their mask. Their presence loomed over you eerily. You gaped at him, your pleading eyes filled with fear. You knew he wasn’t necessarily a villain per say, closer to the flip side if anything. He did just save you. But the thought of an individual being so much more powerful than you, knowing that at any moment he would always in control no matter what you did, threw your brain into a constant state of unease. Feeling your heart beating out your chest, you raised your hands lightly placing it on their chest to stop them from getting any closer, even though you knew they could easily overpower you no matter what you did. His heartbeat was slow, almost calming to feel. “Please” you whispered, voice barely leaving your larynx.

As quickly as he had come he left. You looked around, finally spotting him lurking on top of the building across from you, crouching along the ledge looking at you. You looked at the Prowler one last time, making eye contact with their mask silently mouthing a ‘thank you’. He flipped away to wherever else he goes, not acknowledging your gratitude. You nearly collapsed, sliding down the wall. Your hands aggressively wiped your face before meeting your hairline, resting there as you breathed ruggedly. The adrenaline you had was wearing off, and the bruises the men left you with became more prominent on your skin, as well as more painful. At least your opinion about the prowler was correct, he was a good guy after all, to you at least.

Returning to school on Monday was a catastrophe, news spread like wildfire about you being attacked by the three men, as well as your encounter with the Prowler. Random people were approaching you asking what is what like and other random questions revolving around your attack. No one however, was talking about what happened at the party. But you couldn’t blame them, not many people saw what had happened.

…

It was finally the last period. You wanted nothing more for this to blow over, and for you to be done with the day back in your dorm. You walked in, wavering slightly seeing John leaning on your desk. You noticed Miles sitting in his seat on his phone, eye bags deeper than usual.

You quickly sat down, trying your best to ignore John's attempts to talk to you.

“Y/n please it was an accident-”

You ignored him getting your pencil out of the top zipper of your bag.

“Y/n please just listen I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing you gotta believe me” he leaned toward to take your hand, causing you to flinch and pull back. You looked at him angrily “you think being drunk excuses anything?” Your voice was calm and almost at a whisper despite how you felt, trying your best to draw the least amount of attention. He sighed desperately, “No it doesn’t but you gotta see it from my perspective-” “what perspective John?!? The one where you tried to force yourself on me? Or the one where you tried to take me upstairs against my will? I swear if you come near me again, I won’t hesitate to cut your polla off, comprende?” Ms. Reita asked everyone to take their seats, causing John to look at you solemnly before scoffing and turning to his seat.

You huffed, putting your head between your crossed arms on the table. “What happened at the party?” You looked over to Miles surprised. You hadn’t expected him to ask you any questions, but if he did you figured it would be something about the prowler incident. “Nothin’.” You said dismissively. He looked at you skeptically. Before you could even react, he grabbed your phone off the desk and tucked it in his pocket. “You ain’ gettin’ it back til you tell me what happened.” “Why do you care so much?” “Your wrinkles n’ dark circles look worse than usual, wanna know why.” “Could say the same for you” he looked at you blankly. You sighed, “John got a lil’ too handsy is all, don’t worry ‘bout it. Can I have my phone back-“ “mami, how handsy?” His stern voice caught you off guard. He looked at John's direction for a split second, you could’ve sworn you’d seen Miles look at John with a look of determined death. He looked back at you eyebrows furrowed, “he tried to take me upstairs n’ I wasn’t feelin’ it, so he tried to make me” you uttered, a little quieter towards the end of your sentence. “Left before he could do anything” you finished, “can I get my phone back now?” You looked at him tiredly. He let out a simple huh and gave you your phone back, his full attention now on johns figure ahead in the seat diagonally ahead of him.

…

The class had been dismissed, luckily Miles had decided to leave you alone today, you were too tired to deal with his antics anyway. Walking over to Mei dismissing John's stare, you two began walking out of the class heading to the lobby so you head back to your dorm room. As you were walking back Mei stopped at a vending machine to get a couple snacks for the dorm so you two could have a movie night. You waited as she inserted her money, clicking which snacks you both liked to buy them. As she was stuffing the snacks in her bag zipping it up, a student screamed “FIGHT”. You looked over seeing a crowd forming and walked over to see what was happening. Bullying your way to the front you saw Miles on top of John, pounding John's blood stricken face damn near permanently into the floor. Your eyes enlarged at the sight. Miles was clearly irate, and from the looks of it, had no plans of stopping. A security guard quickly ran in and grabbed miles off John's limp body. Miles spit at John, yelling something at him in Spanish that you couldn’t hear over the commotion. You looked at John's body, seeing him look almost unconscious as he coughed violently and rested on his elbows, trying to catch his breath. You gaped at Miles, shock written all over your face. His chest rose and fell quickly as he looked around the room seeing all the people watching. His eyes stopped as they met yours, his gaze softening slightly before he looked away. A huff fell from his lips as he was dragged to the principal's office. He jerked his arm away, muttering something about how he knew how to walk.

John had to be sent to the hospital.

Miles was in the principal's office, sitting silently as John's parents screamed at the principal while Miles’s mother sat next to him upset. “My child is a great kid! And how is he supposed to feel safe in this school anymore knowing this can happen again, huh?” John's mom spewed mindlessly, ranting about how she was going to press charges. Miles scoffed, causing Rio to look at him with a look of “watch your mouth before I watch it for you.” He just looked down at his hands in his lap.

Miles walked out of the classroom to head back to his shared dorm. He couldn’t get out of his mind what John had done to you. As vague as your response was, he knew more had happened between you and John. He didn’t know why it bothered him so deeply, it wasn't even really his business. He knew the thought of someone being touched like that made him upset, but he felt pure outrage from this specifically, and he knew deep in his heart it was because it was because it was you who had gone through it.

As much as he hated to admit it, he knew he felt something different for you when he intervened the night the three men attacked you. He almost added three bodies to his belt, for you.

Usually, as bad as it sounds, he would mostly let people get robbed or thrown around in alleyways. He would help occasionally if it sounded gruesome or of dire need for assistance. But he had to save his city from the sinister six, and petty crimes that were bound to happened weren’t the ideal way to do that. But the voice screaming sounded familiar, kinda sounded like you. The thought of you being in danger offset his nerves, and he knew a you were going to a party that night so he went, just to check.

Sure enough.

He stalked you from above the rest of your walk home just to make sure nothing else happened.

He walked into the lobby consumed by his own thoughts, snapping back to reality as he overheard John talking to his friends about how “y/n finally let me hit, she was so tight-”. He paused in his tracks. Ain’ no way acaba de escuchar lo que pensó que hizo. He turned to the direction of John's voice, this was now his business. He walked over, becoming increasingly irate the more John talked about “how much you loved it”. John turned, hearing footsteps approaching alarming quickly. He saw Miles, John knew Miles had heard about what really happened at the party. John scoffed, somewhat anxious he had been caught in his lie and afraid Miles would try to embarrass him in front of his friends. He quickly spoke before Miles even had the chance to say a word,“You ain’ needed here Miles-” John was cut off by a fist colliding with his face, not what he was expecting at all. Johns friends gasped or yelled in shock, Miles didn’t stop though. Miles didn’t even say anything, small grunts of anger being the only thing leaving his lips as John hit the floor. Miles siguan latiendo la mierda fuera de él.

“What you won't even speak huh?” John's mom said, facing Miles. He furrowed his eyebrows at her. “You wanna send my baby boy to the hospital and have no reason why? Why are you picking on my kid huh? You-” “You think your kid is the best thing on Gods green earth”Miles scoffed, cutting her off. “Cause he is, my kid wouldn’t hurt a fly and you-”“your oh so wonderful kid tried to rape a girl then went around yappin’ bout’ how much she enjoyed it.” The room fell silent. The principal eyes went wide, “Uh-Uhm, how about we resume this tommorow-” “well hold on,” Rio spoke for the first time, “My son intervened and helped someone in danger because their son was making girls unsafe in the school? Why is he being punished?” “Well Mrs.Morales we didn’t know that happened-” “so you immediately assumed my son was the cause of this not even getting evidence before?” “Well he did start-” “uhn-uh, their child is making the school more unsafe than Miles ever did. Why aren’t they being scolded for this?”

The principal apologized, saying Miles would be suspended for the rest of the week for starting the fight, but no charges could be pressed to avoid anybody getting into serious trouble.

Miles sat in the passenger seat of his moms car, the leather caressing his skin as he looked out the window. A hushed silence had fallen over the two a while ago. Silence is always worse than actually being screamed at, the anticipation is always so suffocating. “So.. who’s the girl?” His mom said, looking at the road ahead. Miles glanced at her before looking back out the window, “classmate.” She nodded, humming. Rio knew her son, and she knew Miles wouldn’t damn near end a kids life just just for some classmate.

“Ella tiene un nombre?” He sighed lightly, “Y/n.” Rio nodded and hummed again, looking at miles through the corner of her eye. “At some point throughout the week, I expect her over for dinner.” “I don’t even have her number, how is she supposed to know” Rio clicked her teeth and smirked,

“Encontrarás una manera”.

©axeoverblade

#42 miles morales x reader #earth 42 #miles morales #spiderman #spiderman into the spiderverse #prowler miles #prowler x reader #miles morales x reader #across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #miles 42 #42 miles morales #miles x reader #miles x y/n #miles x you #kyoutani x reader #miles morales x y/n #cute #drama

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tatsumessy · 1 year

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Dad of the century- {One Piece}

Luffy

“Dad?” Luffy turned around seeing his daughter standing on the grassy deck of the sunny. He jumped down landing right infront of her, she flinched then awkwardly rubbed the side of her arm. “What’s wrong?” He sat down criss crossed then gestured for her to sit down on his lap. She did and he flicked his hat off his head causing it to fall and hang off his neck. “I don’t like trainings with uncle Zoro and uncle Sanji.” He looked confused for a second, “do you want to train with me? Or your mom?” “I don’t want to train at all. I want to be like aunt Robin. Her job is so cool, but I just don’t want to disappoint you or mom.” She said looking down at her lap with tears in her eyes, “you and mom are such great pirates, I would hate to not live up to your standards.” A tear slid down her face and the next thing she knew, her fathers straw hat was being placed on her head. “You do whatever you want to do. Your mom is proud of you just like I am. Be the pirate you want to be hon.” He said pushing the hat further then jumping up and swinging around the boat with his daughter on his back.

Zoro

“You know the plan right?” You asked looking down at your daughter who had her fist clenched and a determined look on her face. The two of you climbed up to the crows nest seeing your husband working out shirtless, “hi baby.” You said walking up to him and kissing the top of his head, he tried to come back in for a kiss on the lips but you stopped him with your finger. “Your daughter has something she wants to say to you.” He looked behind you finally noticing his daughter, moving out of the way she walked closer and punched him in the nuts. “Awh what the hell kid!” He yelled clutching his nuts and dropping to the floor, “I WANT YOU TO TEACH ME HOW TO USE THREE SWORD STYLE!!” She yelled ready to kick him if he tried to deny her request. “If you wanted to do that then you should’ve just asked.” He said standing up and gripping his swords to his belt, “you wouldn’t have taken me seriously dad. I needed to show you my strength.” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders pulling you closer, placing your hand against his chest you kissed his jawline then looked back down at your daughter. “I know your strong because you’re my child. I was just waiting for you to ask.” He smiled pulling her into a tight hug.

Law

“DAD!” Law flinched hearing his son yelling from outside his office door, “awe geez what now?” Door swinging open your son ran in with your daughter right behind him. “What?” He asked and before anything could be said your daughter kicked your son in the knee causing him to fall over and start crying. “What was that for? Why would you do that to your brother?” Law walked from behind his desk and placed your son on top of it, he cleaned up the scar that was on his knee then turned to face his daughter who had her arms crossed and her back turned to them. “What was that for? Answer me now!” She flinched from his yelled but she stayed stubborn, “you always give him more attention! It’s no fair! I’m the oldest, I’m YOUR daughter why do you always act like he’s your only child! ITS NOT FAIR DAD!” Her voice cracked and Laws face dropped, “what’s going on here? I heard them screaming.” You walked into the room staring at the scene infront of you. “Go help your mom.” Law said to your son and the both of you walked out the room closing the door behind you. “Sweetie, come sit.” She reluctantly sat down on the chair while law leaned against the desk, “it’s not fair, ever since he was born it’s like I don’t exist to you anymore. Only mom cares about me, why? Do you hate me that much? Did you want a son that bad?” She cried holding her hands up to her face, “that’s not it. Your brother was as small as me when I was a kid, especially when I almost died from a disease. I was scared, I wanted to protect him because he’s so small. You’re strong just like your mother and I know you can take care of yourself. I’m sorry if I hurt you because I paid more attention to your brother. I promise I won’t do that anymore, you’re my only daughter and I have to protect you even if I know you can do it yourself.” He wiped her fallen tears and pulled her in for a hug apologizing once again.

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mj-iza-writer · 19 days

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Contains a blood offering to Whumpee's diety Whumper.

Whumpee nodded when Whumper beckoned them to come closer with his drink.

"So what you are saying is that you have no idea how my keys came into your possession", Whumper grinned at their servant who gave a knowing glance, "these keys are very important, they open portals to other worlds.... but you knew that already. So why do you seek them? I'm well aware they didn't just happen into your possession."

Whumpee knelt close by and lowered their head in obedience.

"I'm waiting for your answer", Whumper took a drink.

"Please Great Dragon, forgive me. I-I only wished to leave this existence and start a new life with my family", the person was visibly shaken, "I shouldn't have gone behind your back and stolen the keys.... I-I'm sorry."

"You may have just bought yourself a new life..... see them. My obedient slave there", Whumper pointed at Whumpee.

The person glanced at Whumpee, then nodded.

"I could easily turn you into another slave for me. Or perhaps I should use the old fashion punishment for thieves and cut your hands off", Whumper acted as though they were thinking.

The person looked at their hands and started to cry, "pl-please", they sputtered, "I make my living with my hands. Pl-please i-if you take the..m, I-I couldn't sup-port m-m-my family."

"My that would be a shame wouldn't it? Maybe it would be a good lesson then", Whumper smirked, "what do you think Whumpee?"

The beggar looked at Whumpee fearfully.

Whumpee continued to look down, hoping to ignore the question.

"Whumpee, you know better than to ignore me", Whumper clenched his teeth, "what should I do to punish them?"

Whumpee tried to swallow the knot in their throat before looking up, "may I take their punishment... Master."

Whumpee could see the beggar out of the corner of their eye. They seemed to be flooded with relief with that reply.

"Hmm, you'd take their punishment for them?", Whumper grinned, "what if I decided something vain as a punishment... like cutting your hands off. Then what would you say?"

"I only hope you be patient with me as I serve you with no hands Master. I'm only loyal to you, the Great Dragon", Whumpee lowered themself to a bow, "whatever you please Master."

Whumper glanced at the beggar and took in how relieved they seemed.

"You are flooded with relief and would willingly allow someone else to take your punishment for you", Whumper glared.

"It's not li... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to", they pleaded, "I wasn't expecting them to ...."

"SILENCE!!", Whumper ordered causing the beggar to fall back.

"My slave offers their body in way of your punishment", Whumper stood, "you miserable....", Whumper looked back at Whumpee and sighed, "even if it's a blood offering?"

"Y-yes Master", Whumpee whispered.

Whumper led Whumpee into his chapel and prepared them for the offering.

The beggar had been dragged in and tied to a chair. They frowned as they watched Whumpee get shackled to a wooden post.

A priestly type person stepped into the room, and opened a book, "A blood offering made to the Great Dragon must come from a freshly beaten body. Whumpee, you offer your blood to your master as an offering to protect this person?"

"Yes your honor", Whumpee whispered as they hugged the pole tightly.

"The guilty will be forced to watch the punishment commence. May they be filled with guilt for allowing another to take their place", Whumper sat down, "continue with the offering."

Whumpee watched as a robed person walked past them. They squeezed their eyes shut as the whip slapped against their back for the first time.

"No please... don't do this to them", the beggar yelled as they fought against their bindings, "they didn't do anything."

Whumper glared at the beggar, "the offering has already began. It must be completed now."

Whumpee cried out as several more strokes slapped their back rapidly.

Tears ran down their face when they heard Whumper say the whipping could end. They shook as a cold hand gently felt their back.

"Yhmm", Whumpee moaned uncomfortably.

Whumper watched, not able to hide his pleased smile. Whumpee was a dear slave to him, but he always appreciated a blood offering.

Whumpee knew this, they squinted as the whip was carried away. Their Master smiled at them. They knew this brought pleasure to their master. They weren't daunted by his expression. They smiled weakly.

The beggar watched as a knife was carried out and displayed in front of Whumper.

A simple nod from Whumper told the beggar all they needed.

"Please don't hurt them anymore", the beggar felt tears stream down their face, "I am so sorry for stealing the keys. Please don't let them cut them", they pulled at their bindings.

"The sacrifice will be completed once their blood is collected", Whumper watched Whumpee, "they're back is numb, and the blade is sharp. They shouldn't feel a thing."

The beggar felt faint as the blade sliced into Whumpee's beaten skin. It went along their spine like butter. Blood started to trickle, then stream into a prepared offering bowl.

"That should suffice", Whumper leaned back, "please bring me the bowl, and take Whumpee to the medicine woman for healing. I want them brought to my throne once they are patched up. They may rest there."

"Yes Dragon", some guards began to unshackle Whumpee.

"Wait please", Whumpee winced as they were drug in front of Whumper.

The guards lowered Whumpee to the floor. Whumpee weakly crawled an inch before their body gave out on them. They collapsed fully to the floor.

A small glance from Whumpee told Whumper all they needed to know. They stood and took two steps forward so Whumpee could reach them.

With a shaky hand Whumpee touched Whumper's foot. They weakly pulled themself closer and kissed Whumper's shoe.

"My dear slave, you have honored me today. You may rest now", Whumper reached down and cupped Whumpee's face. With a thumb, they gently wiped a tear away from Whumpee's cheek, "you're offering and sacrifice has been accepted.... thankyou."

Whumpee made a small smile and nodded.

Guards stepped forward and grabbed Whumpee again.

"Take care of them", Whumper called after them as they exited the room.

Whumper stood in front of the chair the beggar was tied to.

"You're a monster. Why do they serve such a fiendish monster?", the beggar spat, but couldn't hide tears, "your slave serves you faithfully, but it's not enough... you require blood. You're not a great dragon diety.... you're just a beast."

"Blood is a sign of life, someone who sacrifices blood is giving a piece of their life to their Master", Whumper grinned as they looked at the bowl of blood, "this blood is a piece of my most loyal slaves life. That is such a beautiful gift to give. Why can other gods ask for these offerings, but I'm a beast if I do?"

"You're sick", the beggar hissed.

"Watch it", Whumper frowned, "I won't punish you as my slave just took your place, and I don't wish their sacrifice to be in vain, but I'm not quite done with you yet."

"Wh-what do you mean?", the beggar shrunk back timidly.

Whumper scooped a handful of blood from the bowl and let it drip onto the beggar's hands.

"You will be imprisoned in my dungeon for a full week. You will wear the blood of my slave on your hands until then. This will symbolize the blood your thieving hands caused to spill. An innocent person gave you their gift of blood", Whumper continued to drip more blood onto the beggars hands until it dripped onto the floor.

Once done, Whumper grinned before stepping aside to allow guards to untie the beggar.

"In one week, I want them brought before me. That blood had better of left their hands stained red."

"Yes sir", the guards agreed.

Whumper carried the remaining blood to his alter and finalized the offering made to him. It had been a long time since he received an offering like this.

"My dearest slave, you honor me greatly", Whumper whispered.

Whumpee was rested on the floor, beside the throne. They cuddled a pillow under their head and could be heard gently snoring.

Whumper quietly made their way to their seat, but still caused Whumpee to stir.

"Rest my dear, you have done well for me today", Whumper reached down and patted Whumpee's head, "rest now."

"Was it enough Master?", Whumpee made a concerned face.

"Yes it was more than enough", Whumper gently whispered.

Whumpee smiled weakly, then winced.

"Rest your head weary one. Your job is done for today."

Whumpee woke up when they heard Whumper request a drink.

"Yes Master", they whispered weakly and worked to get up.

"Not from you dear", Whumper frowned, "in honor of your sacrifice, I've allowed you to have the rest of today off."

"Really Master?", Whumpee sat up fully, "I-I can still serve you Master, I'm well rested, an-and the medicine woman made me feel better."

"I know, and you may continue tomorrow, I have other slaves to serve me. You have done enough for me today", Whumper watched Whumpee look down sadly, "do you question my decisions?"

Whumpee looked up fearfully and waved their arms, "no Master... never."

"Then why do you act so?", Whumper leaned back, "is this a new human emotion I'm not aware of?"

"I've devoted my life to you Master. Everything has been given to you. My mind, body, and soul are yours. It's hard to hear that I am getting a break from serving you... I don't know what else to do with my time."

"Hmm, I think I understand, but I do not wish to damage your body anymore", Whumper frowned, "I feel you may push yourself more than you should."

Whumpee looked down, "may I just stay with you then Master, may I just be in your presence?"

"You may", Whumper nodded, "I wonder if you may help me understand something else?"

"Yes Master, I would be honored", Whumpee knelt.

"I feel I may be finding a pattern in your behavior. Whenever I have a guilty person in my presence, you seem to remain quiet, in a way allowing me to do as I please. This only changes when they mention their family", Whumper set their full attention to Whumpee after receiving their drink, "am I wrong?"

Whumpee felt warmth grow over their cheek, of course this was something he'd notice.

"Master do you remember when I was first found by your followers and brought before you for approval?", Whumpee sighed.

"Yes you reminded me of a wet puppy. Soaked with water and blood. Your parents had just died. They were killed by their god in the place of their altar. You were so young."

"I think when I hear that someone's punishment may inflict their family, I remember the punishment my parents received from the trespass they caused with their god. How you explained what had happened to them after talking to that diety", Whumpee wiped a tear away, "I hope that I may help another child not receive the same fate I received with what my parents did."

Whumpee dared to look the Great Dragon in the face, "they may not be as lucky as I was. I was found by your followers and raised by them. I gave myself to you fully."

"Hmm, I think I understand dear one", Whumper made a slight smile, "as for now though... I order you to rest. That is how you may serve me."

After a few minutes Whumpee looked up.

"What is it dear one?", Whumper eyed them.

"Oh, uhm.... I-I uhm was hoping to uh....", Whumpee looked down with embarrassment, "could I see the stars Master? Have I pleased you to allow for that type of gift?"

Whumper thought for a moment before giving a comforting nod toward Whumpee.

He took a deep breath before exhaling a cloud of smoke. It covered the room as it expanded.

"Come my dear", Whumper welcomed Whumpee up on their lap.

Whumpee happily smiled as they got up, and Whumper pulled them onto his lap.

"Now watch closely", Whumper grinned as he reached for the keys and held them in the air. He then acted as though he was unlocking something.

A door opened in front of them.... a door made from nothing. One of Master's portals.

"Welcome back to the space portal", Whumper whispered.

Whumpee was already truly starstruck. Constellations twinkled at them through the doorway.

Whumper smiled as they leaned up to look in Whumpee's eyes. Their eyes glistened with the stars they saw.

"It's amazing Master", Whumpee broke their gaze and looked at Whumper, "thankyou for allowing me to see them."

"You're welcome dear... you know you can ask for this any time. If I am able to do it for you I will", Whumper leaned back, "this is your gift for being my dearest slave."

"Thankyou Master", Whumpee smiled, then gazed back at the stars.

"You're welcome dear."

The portal began to leak into Whumper's realm of influence. It had been opened to long.

Whumpee had already slumped over to the side and Whumper had pulled them back to lay against him.

He closed the portal, and carefully cradled Whumpee in his arms.

A small grimace on Whumpee's face told Whumper how sore they still were.

"My dear slave", Whumper whispered so not to disturb them anymore, "such a good slave for me."

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all. @villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath @porschethemermaid @monarchthefirst

@generic-whumperz @bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13 @notpeppermint @cyborg0109

@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots @whumpbump @everythingsscary @skittles-the-whumpee

@expressionless-fr @theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee @candleshopmenace @whumpanthems

@lavndvrr @ivymyers @starfields08000 @a-living-canvas @lumpofsand

@watermeezer @indigoviolet311 @whumpy-mountains

I tried to do something new with the taglist. I'm not sure if everyone is being tagged properly. -MJ

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lavender-romancer · 4 months

Text

Fools

Part Four

Tommy Shelby x male reader

CW: internalised homophobia, sexual themes

You always felt that you were hiding or running from deep inside of you, this feeling that you weren't like other men around you. When you met Tommy it made sense but how could you explore these feelings?

AN: Tommy is not married to Lizzie and Ruby does not exist

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

previous part

You woke up to Tommy sitting at the desk in your hotel room shirtless with his trousers laying unbuttoned on his hips. After stretching you pulled on your briefs and draped on your unbuttoned shirt from the night before before walking over to Tommy. You rested your hands on his shoulders and kissed the top of his head. He leant the side of his head on your hand and sighed.

"I missed you." Tommy whispered and you smiled.

"You should have woken me up." You lent your chin on the top of his head and stroked up and down his bare bicep.

"And miss out on your weird sleep talking? No chance." Tommy smirked and you hit his arm playfully.

"I'll make sure my next lot of sleep talking discusses how I want to kill you." You stood up and sat down on the bed before taking off your shirt. "Come here." You said softly, Tommy turned around and pushed a hand through his hair before walking over to the bed. You lit a cigarette and rose up onto your knees so you were nearly face to face with Tommy. You took a drag of your cigarette and then leant forward and kissed Tommy, blowing the smoke into his mouth. He inhaled and exhaled out of his mouth, continuing to kiss you deeply as he cradled your face. When you drew apart you couldn't help but smirk at the surprised look on Tommy's face.

"I demand you live with me as long as you're in Birmingham so you can do that again." Tommy took hold of your throat and squeezed it slightly causing you to close your eyes. But as soon as he had held it he let go and you looked at him with an offended expression. "Got to leave you wanting more." Tommy smiled and you rolled your eyes.

The two of you left the hotel room a few hours later and headed for Tommy's office to try to complete some actual work. This whole situation seemed genuinely fucking insane. You couldn't touch him but just looking across the back car seat and seeing his angelic face was enough to convince you it had all been a dream. Maybe you didn't need heaven if you could have Tommy. Things began to change around a week later.

Tommy invited you to his office for a business meeting about investment margins and whilst you were excited to see him you both needed to set up a legitimate face between the two businesses. You sat in the chair outside Tommy's office as his secretary called the number to his office but his phone was engaged.

"Shouldn't be too much longer." She smiled at you.

Whilst you tried to rationalize that it would just be a random business phone call you couldn't help your brain running with the idea he had some else. She got up and knocked on Tommy's office door, letting herself in and closing the door behind. They spoke for a few moments before she exited and opened the door for you.

"Who was on the phone cutting into my meeting time?" You asked in a joking tone and Tommy wouldn't meet your eyeline.

"Oh, no one." He replied before changing the subject completely and discussing profit margins and projected earnings.

But you couldn't let it go. Or at least your involuntary thoughts wouldn't let it go. You'd much rather side with your rational thoughts but they rarely won internal arguments.

As you returned home that day, you looked over the investment plans you and Tommy had agreed on but it felt false. Not too long ago you held him in your arms as he cried, now you were back to being partners in business. Every minute all you could think about was the softness of his skin and how his lips felt, you were getting hard just thinking about him. This was… maybe not bad, but it definitely wasn't good. What would you do without someone like him? You needed some time away from the city, away from the noise so you could just think.

The following day you were traveling to the Peak District just outside of Sheffield to stay with your friend May Carleton. You had known one another for a great deal of time and her country manor felt like the perfect escape that you needed to talk about Tommy. Over the whole journey you tried to keep yourself busy, reading the paper, doing the crossword in the Times. Anything to keep your mind straying to the man you were ever so slightly falling for. You forgot if you'd ever wanted anyone else by this point, they were distant memories of a life you no longer wanted. Tommy sometimes felt like an entity that would pass through your life, his beautiful eyes tearing away from you as he decided he wanted someone else.

"It's so wonderful to see you!" May exclaimed as you walked up to the grand doors of the mansion.

"I've missed you dearly." You hugged her closely and she took your hand.

"Leave that all here, it can be taken to your room, I have something to show you." She smiled broadly and pulled you after her.

The two of you walked into the gardens to a little stone alcove that had been built into the side of the building, with ivy and roses growing all the way up. It was surrounded by flowers you'd never seen before.

"Isn't it beautiful, my gardener is positively the best in England, he had sees brought over from the Caribbean, it's some seasonal plant there but he's somehow kept them alive." She crouched down and delicately held her hand underneath the vibrant flower.

"May, your wealth is unmatched." You laughed and she stood up, brushing off her skirt.

"Oh I know. But what am I supposed to do, I have all this land and no one to share it with. Unless you're planning on staying a while?" She prompted.

"If you'll have me I will stay as long as the sun lasts here. I need fresh air so desperately by this point." You sighed and May reached for your hand.

"What beastly man has hurt you this time, my love?" She asked.

"I'll tell you later, now, walk me round these gardens before I do it myself." You linked her arm and she started walking you through the flower garden.

Thomas was sexually frustrated to a point that felt ridiculous. But his shame was beginning to overpower his mind, when you were due to be in a meeting with him, he had called a former female lover and arranged to meet. He usually did this every couple months, with someone he knew or a whore. Tommy had to prove to himself what he was because he never believed it. All he did was follow pleasure, try to center that and forget about the gender of the other person. But it was impossible to not hyperfocus on the fact that he loved having sex with men, with you. But that was unacceptable to him. Regardless of his careless attitude, he couldn't even accept the fact he might be a homosexual let alone live with that fact. Trying to prove his own brain was wrong was generally at the forefront of his mind.

Most of the time he was disgusted by himself, by his urges and his fantasies. The more he thought about it, the more distressed he was. Sitting in his office at home he lay back in his chair, hands clasped on his chest as he looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. Why was love so hard for him to have? What was so unrelentlessly cruel was that Tommy constantly fought his urges and tried to be the man his father told him to be, but then people like you showed up in his life. Men that he couldn't stop thinking about, men that made him question his moral fiber, his existence on this planet. If anything about his secret life was revealed, everything would be over. His life, his business, his family name. Everything Thomas had worked for decades to achieve would disappear as he started a prison sentence, leaving his family to pick up the pieces left behind him. He couldn't do that to them, he couldn't allow all of this to be corrupted and twisted because of his idiotic choices. Once he settled down with a new wife and more children this could all be put to bed.

As he looked at the ceiling, the wallpaper didn't swirl into images of you anymore. They swirled into an image of darkness and despair which felt like it was surrounding Tommy. This thick, dark mass engulfed his body and he choked on it. Not realising he was sobbing. He put a hand up to his throat and it shook, he felt like he couldn't breath. That the thought of losing you and what this meant to him would make him collapse. His heartbeat was getting quicker and quicker and he couldn't stop it. All he could see in his mind was you not being there, the very absence of you made him panic. His eyes darted around the room for something, anything that could stop the darkness around him.

You were his fucking person. But you just couldn't be, he wouldn't allow it. All he could see now through his tears was how you looked when you spoke to him, your smiles and the way your eyebrows moved when you were confused. The ways that you talked to him, the familiarity that couldn't be bought because the connection was real. Tommy had never cried in front of someone for as long as he could remember but that vulnerability felt so second nature when he was with you.

But both of you knew this couldn't last forever, there was always a glint of sadness in your eyes. Both of you knew this feeling of disappointment, how you were both tired of feeling this way. No matter how much you cared for one another or felt yourself loving one another you would never be able to sleep next to one another, at least not when being walked in on was a possibility. You would always belong to one another in some ways. But as Tommy ran his hands down his face and finally snapped out of the black mist, he realised that it didn't matter.

"So who's this mystery man?" May asked with a smile as you sat down in the drawing room with some tea.

"I can't say. This is my only veto so far, so you can respect it." You smiled and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine. But what is he like?" She probed.

"If you'd ever met him you would never know he was like me, or that he's incredibly vulnerable. It's strange, he trusts me inexplicably." You stared are the table not noticing your smile.

"Someone's smitten." She laughed and you couldn't help but laugh too because she was right.

“You must have a man in your life,” you smiled at her.

“Of sorts. I wouldn't say I quite have him yet but I intend to.” May took a bite of one of the biscuits laid out neatly on the floral china.

“Well you have to tell me more now.” Leaning in, you were prepared to hear about some awful bachelor but, the more she spoke the more the feeling of dread rose in your throat.

She had spoken about this man before. Not by name but you figured it out all the same, he was sleeping with her? Or at the very least showing her affection you wished was only for you. Of course it was only a matter of time, May was wonderful and had the plus of being absolutely stinking rich. How could Tommy resist? When she was seemingly so enthralled with him and he was so enthralled with power. But still, you felt foolish. A slither of your hopeful mind held out that he might only want you, that losing his wife was a good reason to be a bachelor. Why oh why did you do this to yourself?

“Darling?” May put a hand on your knee with concern in her eyes. “I hope I haven't upset you.” She knew your struggles with love and the lack thereof.

“I- I think I've just realised that we're uhm… talking about the same man.” Your eyes clearly displayed your terror as you sat awkwardly with your leg bouncing anxiously.

“Really, are you sure? But he didn't seem… well to put it delicately my dear. He didn't seem like you.” May looked genuinely disheartened with a hint of pity in her eyes. You hated it. Pity was a cancer, once it festered it was almighty difficult to remove it.

“I don't know what to say.” You were shifting uncomfortably, urging yourself to stand and leave but you couldn't quite do it. Realising that it had probably been May who Tommy spoke to on that phone call a few days ago.

“Are you sure?” She asked again and your malicious side considered telling her all the sexual exploits of you and Tommy.

“I am.” You replied sadly.

“I don't believe it. I can't,” she stood up and walked over to the window, her back to you. “We've been together as well.” That gave you a stabbing feeling in your stomach.

“Ah, that complicates things.” It was hard to not sound destroyed by this admission from May.

“Yes, I should say so. God, this is ridiculous.” She rubbed her forehead and sighed.

“Do you love him?” The question scared you more than it should. You didn't love Tommy, you thought you could love him but would you really stand in the way of May's happiness?

“Do you?” She turned, her mouth set in a displeased frown.

“Not yet.” It was a stupid answer but you felt like you were losing any possible advantage you could have had in this conversation.

“But you intend to? A man who will never be honest with himself about his emotions, let alone you?” May took a step in your direction, you hung your head.

“May, I'm used to it. You can call me idiotic but it's not something that concerns me.” The fidgeting got worse and you felt like your whole body was trembling.

“And he knows this, does he? Is he aware of the anguish that you are willing to put yourself through?” She sounded more concerned than angry now and it only made you feel worse. That stabbing feeling felt like it was twisting into your abdomen with irreversible damage.

“We care about one another and that is enough for me.” Eyes growing wet and foggy, you wanted to leave. Hoping to never have this conversation you chose to ignore it was happening.

“I cant- I… this is too much.” She walked past you, heading for the door.

“Do you love him?” You asked in a burst of confidence neither of you expected-you were usually the meek one of the two of you.

“And what difference would that make to this conversation, Darling?” May looked back at you with equally glassy eyes. She was too protective of you to be angry about the right things.

After leaving the room she didn't return, you waited for what felt like a long while before returning to your adopted bedroom in the house and flopping forward onto the bed. What in God's name was going on? It felt like a poorly written snuff piece in a broadsheet you'd tut at for being so idiotic. You had to get back to Birmingham, doubting that May would want to see you again at least for now. Did he know that you both knew each other? He must have known, Tommy not knowing something would be more surprising to you than otherwise.

You left not too long after your conversation with May, it felt a tad juvenile but you were jealous. Not so much that he had been sleeping with someone else at the same time as you, it was the fact that he didn't tell you. You assumed he trusted you after revealing what must be his best kept secret. It wasn't unrealistic for your lover to have a wife or a female companion. Usually for show. But this… was it more than for show? Did he truly care for May? It left you feeling unsettled more than anything. This feeling of attachment was so unfamiliar considering interactions with past lovers had lasted maybe a month or so. It was odd to crave someone's undivided attention.

Peaky blinders taglist:

@queenofkings1212 @severewobblerlightdragon @cl5369 @fairypitou @stressedandbandobessed7771 @shadow-of-wonder @hipsternoionlylikeunicorns @curled-hair-red-lips @lucystivinsky1315

Series taglist:

@denzellovehazelnuts @edgyboi10000

@strnqer @arsoniscommited @flynnr2d2

#peaky blinders #tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagines #tommy shelby angst #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #tommy shelby x male reader #male reader #peaky blinders male reader

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blue-sadie · 9 months

Text

Truly Broken

Ascended Astarion x Reader

Summary: with the new power he's gained he doesn't realize the things he's lost in till its to late

Warning: reader death dn = daughters name

Based off this post by @wilsonsmadshow

Yn/3rd person

It was all done the mission was a success and astarion became ascended but something started to tug at your heart, you didn't know what it ment and you dreaded that.

The days following you've said goodbye to your other companions and stuck with astarion who's been acting weird not his usual flirty self.

Instead he was becoming more arrogant and snappy when I ask him something even his affection was turning cold.

"Are you coming to bed astarion" I asked as I rubbed my eyes tiredly and leaned against the wooden doorframe.

He just stared blankly at the wall ignoring my existences "astarion" I murmured a bit louder as I slowly walked to him lifting up my hand to touch him.

My hand wavered I pulled back, this was the first time I ever was nervous to touch astarion I took a step back and cleared my throat to get his attention.

He sighed with annoyance "what is it" he snapped his piercing eyes turning to stare deep into mine, his gaze was different it wasn't filled with affection and love instead it looked like dispar and hatred.

"I-I asked if you wanted to come to bed" I said changing my stance out of nervousness under his gaze.

He rolled his eyes and turned his gaze to the wall "no I don't think I will" he muttered my heart clenched he's never directed his hatred to me maybe somethings bothering him.

"What's wrong astarion" I asked and slowly got closer to him "what's on that mind of yours" I slowly sat of the edge of the arm of the chair he was sitting on.

"Nothings bothering me tav" he snapped and brought one of his hands up to his face and rubbing his eyes.

"I can tell,something is" I whispered and gently lifted a hand to place on his shoulder, he jerked away from me and pushed me to the floor harshly.

I squeaked in pain as I hit the floor "don't you know when to fucking stop" he yelled standing up over me, my body began shaking in fear.

"I told you to leave it and you kept annoying me" he growled stepping towards me making me crawl away with each step.

"Maybe the reason I don't want to go to bed is because your there" he muttered "you repulse me with every fiber of your being" he spat making my heart break.

"You don't mean that" I whispered making him laugh like a mad man "oh trust me darling I do, I've finished my use of you so you can leave" he mocked and pointed at door.

"W-what" my eyes filled with tears "do I need to speak clearer get the fuck out" he shouted, the tears started to fall as I nodded slowly and got to my feet shakily.

"I-if that's what you want" I snuffed and slowly making my way out the room only for a stopping for a brief second hoping he would change his mind.... but he didn't.

I only packed the essentials in a bag before quickly making my way out not daring to look at him once.

my tears blurring my vision even though he hates me I still live him and want him happy If he wants me gone then do be it.

I looked down at my slightly bulging stomach and layed a gentle hand on it, at least a small part of the old him is still with me.

-Time skip-

I raised my hand to my daughters face slowly wiping away her fallen tears "d-dont go" she cried her long grey hair falling into her face.

I smiled sadly "you remind me of your father" I coughed as I felt my time running out "of how we were when we first me" I thought back to all the great memories we had together.

"I love you dn" I whispered with my last remaining energy and slowly closed my eyes as I felt myself slip away.

Dn caught your hand as it feel and kept denying your death as her sobs grew louder "please no" she cried and brought your frail body up to hers "please mom" she sobbed.

Her cries caught the attention of the vampire her mother waited for everyday, astarion peered around a tree.

He bored his teeth already to pounce when he paused catching a wif of a familiar scent his mind whirled trying to figure out who it was.

"Are you ok" he asked stepping out from around the tree into the light, dn jumped at the sound and scurried to wipe her face.

Astarion froze as he saw your body and he felt the pain he felt all those years ago when he left you.

"Y-yn" he fell to his knees "who are you" dn asked stepping infront of you blocking his gaze and he finally looked at her and gasped at the resemblance he saw.

"A-astarion" he whispered dn looked astonished her sadness turning anger, she knew who he was you never kept the knowledge of her father from her.

The only thing you left out was why he left you "you have no right to be here" she muttered shoving him back.

"You were never here so don't think you can mourn her now" she shouted and kept pushing him back in till he was up against the tree.

"She waited for you and you never came" she anger started to turn back to sadness.

Astarion watched and his heart broke as he started to remember the words he said to you and he watched as dn went back to your side turning her back to him.

He chose to leave you and now he's getting the karma he deserves.

"Karmas a bitch"

Tag.List

@neteyamyawne

@sweetirilly

@greekgods15

#astarion x reader angst #bg3 astarion #bg3 #bg3 x reader #bg3 x reader angst #bg3 angst #astarion x reader #astarion imagine #baldur's gate 3 astarion #astarion #astarion angst #game characters x reader

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rpreaperperson · 7 months

Text

Chapter 10: Anger

Masterlist

“There’s more of them?” asked Price from his desk

“As I told you before we’ve been looking for their existence and found many evidence of them, but we got no luck..find the living one” explained Professor while wiping her glasses with her napkins

“until you found her...” Price lean back at his chair crossing his strong arms

“Indeed...” answer Professor, Price pursing his lips a lil' bit

“So..her parents..”

“Unknown but most likely they’re dead, I have found her unconscious in an abounded village none single life lives there, except for some animals there..and what I find it fascinating is..” she paused as she halted wiping her glasses, her dim eyes spark in interest remembering the days she met her dearest subject

“They seem to be protective of her... when I tried to approach her, they stare at me like I'm kind of threat..the deer, snake, birds, all of the kind animals there...by the way they all normal animals Captain”

“how do you manage to take her..?”

“with a little bit of persuasion of course..” Professor smirks emotionless at him putting back her glasses, Price stares at her indifferent

“You sure to share this information? Without asking her first?” he raised his eyebrow at her

“She’ll understand Captain..besides she is under your care now...and I think you deserve to know..but remember this Captain...”slowly she walk closer to his desk

“I’ll not hesitate to murder anyone who harms her.... physically or mentally.. that includes you and all of your team”

“You know in this line of of work she’ll got be-”

SLAM

“then I will now...Captain..I have eyes everywhere...even here in this very secure base..”Professor stared at Price intimidated, but Price calmly smiled and nodded mockingly

“Of course madam” she just huffing and throw a flashdisk on his desk

“Heed my word Captain...you dont want to anger me...nor her”

Then she walked out from his office after she out Price smiled slowly gone furrowing as he took the flash disk and silently inspected it

“Bonnie!” Soap tried to reach Claw but he got shot by one of Shadows instead and fell, then Ghost threw a knife at Shadow who holding Claw

“Master!” she cried to Soap dashing to his fallen form, placing her finger to his neck and feeling his pulse sigh in relief when found one, Soap groan then he sat upright

“Both of you! Get out of here!” Ghost growls

“But Maste –“ Claw whimper to Ghost her eyes filled with concern, and fear

“JUST GO!” Ghost yelled in desperation and anger, Claw flinched and with haste, she grabbed Soap’s vest dragged him to the concrete barrier, slid down to the slope covering his body with her small one to protect Soap

“Fuck!” Soap manages to get on his feet, and both of them flee to nearby town

Saw both Soap and Claw flee from them Graves halting the Shadows shooting at Soap

“Stop!” command Graves staring down the slope, silently cursing

“Should’ve used those catnip...” he mutter, pursing his lips

Dragging Soap bulk body with her slim one, her feet wobbly and shaking because of the weight she carried and the graze when she slid down the slope

“Stop a little bit Lass..” ask Soap when they reach in alleyway

“B-but..” she whimper

“Shh..it’s okay lass..”

Claw gently put Soap down in an alleyway, as she checked her gear for medication while Soap tried to connect his comms to Ghost

Unfortunally he got no answer, he glance at Claw when she whimper at him

“I got a bandage in my gear, Master..” a tear fell from her eyes, her hands shaking to offer him a bandage, as much Soap wanted to console her warp his arm around her and whisper ‘it gonna be okay’ , but worried that Shadows would catch up to them any time

“Save it for later Bonnie..we gotta move now” he grunts as he stands up with Claw's assistance she holding his uninjured arm, as they limp their way to somewhere safe her nose smells so much blood two dead bodies lay in front of them

Claw accidentally trips and falls on the ground along with Soap, her wet ears slumping on her head

“ugh..you okay Lass?” grunted Soap

“m sorry!..Im sorry...” she whimpered sniffing, her wet shoes making a squelching sound tried to endure her pain

“Soap, This is Ghost how copy?” ask Ghost that finally answer his comms

“Johnny?” he assisted Claw in getting into her feet, Claw exhaled deeply when she heard Ghost's voice

“Johnny how copy?”

“Solid” answer Soap limping his way to the car in front of him

“Thought we lost you, Claw?” ask Ghost hopping for his little hybrid answer

“H-here..hiks” answer Claw still sniffing, wiping her face with her arms

“you injured?”

“M-master Soap got shot in the shoulder..” she inspect Soap injury

“What about you Claw?”

“...Im good” both Soap and Ghost know that it was a lie, but they don't have much time to get her to spit out the truth

As they sneak around from Shadows and Graves, they can also hear the Shadow's conversation and Graves's order to get information from civilian

“where are you Master?, are you hurt?” whisper Claw as she passes many of civilian dead body, clenching her into a fist

“Good, There’s a cruch. Im heading to it, let’s RV there”

When they found an empty house, Claw quickly bandaged Soap's shoulder she’ll get the bullet out of Soap's shoulder when they get into the safest place right now they were being hunted

“forgive me...” whisper Claw to Soap, her ears slumped against her head

“what for Bonnie?” Soap huffed

“..I couldn’t protect you, even Master Ale..is..captured...I should’ve done more”

“hey...Im still alive yeah? And I dont doubt Alejandro still fighting right now”

“still...” Claw leaned into his neck nuzzling and comforting herself with his scent, a sweaty , rainy, and bloody scent but still...she found it comforting unconsciously she licked his neck, Soap tried not to flinch at her intimate gesture his heart beating fast biting his lips Soap raised his arm to embrace her in his chest but he halt his arms when Claw growled

“I promise...I will protect you..” Claw growled, clenching her fist becoming territorial, her round pupils became slit

Soap gulped down his spit as he stared up at her for some reason something awakened inside him when he saw her anger for the first time, and so did Ghost the first time he heard Claw growl it was a pity that he couldn't see her

“You sure about this?”

“What?”

“Hunting 141?”

“What chicken out already?”

“Hell no!, this is 141 we’re talking especially that skull mask guy”

“take ‘em out, before they take you out, and don't forget to catch the kitty Boss wants her alive, sedate her immediately she’s sneaky and slippery as fuck”

“Well cats hate water no?, she must be hiding inside the houses” then they split up one went into the alleyway and one into the house, unknown to them they became prey to the cat hybrid her eyes glowed in the dark She snatched a knife from her pocket without hesitation ambushed the Shadow, and dug her knife into his neck before he could react

“Forgive me....but it is for my Dear Master..” she whispers into his ear, putting the body gently to the floor she stares at his dead eyes emotionless

“the house clear master...” she talk to the comms

“Good, done ‘ere as well, theres a problem though”

“What is it?”

“gotta find somethin’ to clear the path to the church ,those fuckers hoarding it”

“...I’ll clear it”

“You sure Lass?”

“Dont make a ruckus Claw, they after you”

“Im sure..” without a moment of hesitation Claw rushed into the place where three Shadows guarding it, gripping her knife tightly in both of her hands she threw it at two shadows, one remaining Shadow couldn't even react because Cla rushed into his back and swiftly snapped his head

“Stemin’ Jesus...” Soap softly curses at Claw action

“Enjoying the show Johnny?”quip Ghost

“Very much LT” Claw took her knife out from the body, and she cleaned it with the rain slowly watching the water wipe out the blood then flicked it putting the knife back on her vest and taking a gun from the Shadows

“All clear” confirm Claw as she give Soap a gun

“Nice..Lets go before LT got tantrum” Soap smirk at her and ruffles her hair

“I heard you there Johnny” snide Ghost at the comms

They arrived at the church and met Ghost there, He climbed out the church gate while both Soap and Claw shooting at Shadows, as much as Ghost wanted to wipe all out the Shadows they had to flee and find a safe house

Ghost alerted them that he found a pickup for them to escape, Claw closely followed behind Soap shooting as many Shadows as she can

“C’mon Bonnie!” command Soap ripping the door open then Claw steps into the vehicle first crammed by Soap and Ghost who threw himself to the driver's seat

“Get back!” yell Soap while he slamming Claws face into his chest, he shot at one Shadow who sneak beside the vehicle

“Omphff!” Claw muffled on Soap vest

“Thanks” nod Ghost in graditude

“Drive I’ll cover us” Soap lets go of Claw from his chest as she shakes her head wiping her face off, then hanging on the dashboard when Ghost slams the pickup through a vendor

Taglist : @lilpothoscuttings @unicorngirly1 @kaoyamamegami

#call of duty #call of duty x reader #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #claw #neko reader #simon ghost riley x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #john price #phillip graves x reader #philip graves #cod x reader

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writingsbymo-mo · 1 year

Text

A Tiny Surprise

Tighnari x F!Reader

Contains: pregnancy and a very worried reader

Word count: 772

You're at home waiting for Tighnari to return to tell him about your little surprise while he is in Pardis Dhyai when a freak lightning storm hits. Yes I forgot Haypasia exists while I wrote this...oops

First fic I wrote in two years! Sorry I'm a bit rusty tho i hope you guys like it uwu

______________________________________________________

It was a clear, sunny day, no clouds in sight. You stretched as you sat at your desk, staring at the pile of books on various topics from flora and fauna to fantasy. It would be about another half hour before Tighnari would return from Pardis Dhyai. You looked down at your stomach with a smile then grabbed a book, opening it. The two of you had been together for a few years after graduating from the akademia, only growing closer through those years.

As time passed, the room grew darker. A chill ran down your spine. 'Did I get that absorbed in this book? But that doesnt make sense....' You thought. You turned your head to your window. Dark clouds were rolling in, spouting lightning every second. Your eyes widened in awe and fear. It was nothing you'd ever seen before. "A storm with no rain? Strange...I hope everyone's alright." Though despite this, you couldn't help but feel a sense of dread washing over you. Something wasn't right.

The second the skies cleared, forest watchers scattered, searching for any possible injured people or animals through their usual patrol routes. Given the situation, you knew it would be some time before Tighnari returned.

And so you waited.

And waited...

....and waited....

A good hour had passed and still...nothing. Your body began to tremble as you brought your arms inward. Tighnari will be fine is what you keep telling yourself. It doesn't stop the bubbling anxiety in the depths of your stomach. You sighed in an attempt to calm yourself.

Suddenly, the door to your home burst open with a worried Collei, panting as she caught her breath. That was all you needed. You bolted from your chair, grabbed your bag of supplies and ran, thanking her on the way out.

You'd never ran so fast in your life. A few scrapes from stray branches didn't even phase you. All that mattered was knowing Tighnari was alright.

Before you knew it, you were at the entrance to the greenhouse in Pardis Dhyai, taking deep breaths as your eyes locked onto him sitting on the floor. It didn't take much for you to conclude what had happened.

One of his ears twitched, turning his head to face you. The hiss and groan he let out didn't go unnoticed despite the way his eyes lit up and a small smile forming on his lips. "Don't worry my lotus, I'll ugh be fine. Some forest watchers came by and patched me up already so they'll just need to be dressed again later. But for now, I just need to rest for a while. I'll also say you should get your scrapes disinfected."

'Oh Nari.'

You scrambled to your knees in front of him, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. "I was so worried Nari," you cried, "I had to make sure you were safe."

He brought a hand to your face, cupping your cheek, brushing away the stray tears then pulled you into a hug. His ears flattened briefly as he winced. You melted into him, wrapping your arms around him, careful of his wounds.

You breathed in his scent, earthy with a hint of musk that was just him. A sigh of relief escaped you when you remembered what you had to say.

Cautiously, you lifted yourself from him, repositioning yourself a little closer. "So...Nari," he tilted his head at you as you continued, "I have something I need to share with you."

You grasped his hand, gently placing it on your stomach. His breath hitched as his tail began to swish. He threw you into a hug once more, trying to mask the pain the shot through him at his quick action. "S-sorry," he winced, "I'm...so happy. My lotus is having a little lotus." His hand brushed your stomach once more, rubbing in soothing circles lovingly as you rested your head on his shoulder. He brought his lips to your forehead, peppering you with soft kisses.

An hour had passed as the sun hovered over the horizon. "Mmm, we should head back," Tighnari yawned, pulling himself up, "I'll be fine to walk now. How are your scrapes by the way?"

"They're fine Nari. I'm more worried about you."

He shook his head and laughed softly, "I'll be on light duty for a while so I'll be staying in Gandharva Ville most of the time. Which means, I'll be able to spend more time with you until I'm fully healed."

You nodded, placing a hand on your stomach as you both began to walk home. "I can't wait to meet them, our little lotus."

#first fic in a while heheh...#it's been too long #tighnari x reader #genshin impact #tw pregnancy #sfw #genshin impact fanfics #tighnari #my writing #genshin impact x you

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builtbybrokenbells · 8 months

Text

Gold Dust Woman | xiii

Gold Dust Woman finally learns how to pick up the pieces and go home.

Read part twelve here

Listen while reading: unknown/nth - Hozier (listened to this and cried the entire time I wrote this 🤭)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader, Sam Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 13.5k

Warnings: ANGST, sadness, crying, breakups, feelings of regret/heartbreak, sad jake, swearing, smoking, some fluff! Sorry if I miss any!

only one more left after this one 😁 buckle up for the last bit of the ride (I was going to wait till the poll ended but I could NOT wait any longer. I’m so excited to finish up this piece as it’s been my main focus for so long. also lightly edited. my apologies 🫶🏻) as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!

Another city, another show. You were so caught up in the whirlwind of your life that you seemed to have forgotten what home truly was. Hotels were more familiar than you thought they ever could be, and you craved for a moment alone in your own house despite previously hating the emptiness that screamed from the walls. The show the night before went by without a hitch, and the weight of your decision was sitting heavy on your shoulders. You knew what you had to do, you just hadn’t yet gotten the chance to do it. After the concert came to a close, you were all too tired to even think about managing a night at the bar. You drove to the city over which you would be playing for tonight, and checked into the hotel rooms with no intent on leaving until the next morning. Dylan had fallen asleep in your bed with you, mid conversation about the high points of the night.

When you woke, she was still deep in slumber in her jeans and hoodie, neglecting blankets and pillows completely. You crawled from the mattress, a headache lingering but making a promise to leave as long as you had a sip of coffee. You showered, did your makeup, and dressed all before she even made a shift in her position. You opted to leave her there to catch up on her sleep, knowing that out of anyone, she deserved it most. You thought maybe the early morning would be the best time to execute your plan; not many were awake, and you might be able to reach Sam’s room without interception from anyone else. You knew that if you had to see any sad eyes or wistful faces, you would crack and crumble to the ground before you could even get to your destination. You slipped onto the patio attached to your room before making the leap to end the race, needing a moment to collect your thoughts before the inevitable end.

You sat on a flimsy deck chair, a cigarette smouldering between your fingers as you gazed out at the city. Despite your own drowsiness still existing, the world was awake and begging you to join it. Cars passed, honking angrily at pedestrians and other drivers in hopes it would make them hurry. The sun was bright, casting a glow over the ground that made even the busiest of streets seem inviting. Sidewalks bustled, and shops were decorated with neon signs inviting potential customers inside. You wondered if when the pain passed, you could resume some semblance of normalcy that you had been craving for so long. Then, you wondered if normal would be better than your previous sense of the word with Sam by your side, taking on the world with you. As excited as you were to find out, your hands still shook with anxiety for the future.

You were not doubting your certainty of loving Sam; you knew that to be true in every sense of the phrase, and you had known it long before your revelation in the bathroom the night before. Loving Sam was one of the easiest things you had ever done, and you knew that regret for picking him was implausible. Sam had an iron grip on your heart from the minute you met him, and he showed no signs of letting go. What you were doubting was your ability to choose the right path, and your willingness to let go of Jake. As much as you loved Sam, you knew you felt it for him, too, and you were not prepared to accept that you would never have Jake again. As much as love terrified you, letting go was also high on your list of fears. But, as they say, when one door closes another one opens, and this was not a grievous end as much as it was the next chapter of your life.

You loved Jake completely, and so much so that when you thought about it for too long it made your chest ache and your head spin. He did not lack anything in the slightest, but your driving force was justified by the fact he was just too similar to you. You shared the fear of intimacy as well as commitment, and you both struggled with vulnerability and communication. Because of that, the emotions housed between you were often volatile and difficult to navigate. You were a self-assured hot headed person who needed someone to ground you, and you feared that Jake would feed into that side of you because he housed so many of the same traits. So, it was not a lack of love causing you to walk away; it was simply because you knew you had the same ability to hurt him as you did love him, just as he did for you. Loving someone means taking risks, but a risk that large could be fatal, and you were not willing to sacrifice him or yourself at the hands of pleasure.

You thought for so long that your cigarette burnt to an end before you had the chance to enjoy it, and the sun had slightly shifted positions in the sky. Now, it was shining directly on you, illuminating the extent of your sins and showcasing it to anyone who cared to watch. No matter what the right decision was, hurt was inevitable, and you all but paved the way for it to be. It was only right for you to play the game in which you thought it should be, because dragging it out any further would only be torture for everyone involved. You tossed the cigarette to the ground, not even a cherry falling out to reminisce on the fire it used to have. You felt the same, discarded and out of place as your flame slowly flickered away. Your only hope was that after the day was through, you would begin to shine brighter than ever before.

When you went back inside, Dylan was still snoring peacefully with no sign of stirring anytime soon. You chuckled at the sight, grabbing a blanket that had been pushed to the foot of the bed and gently throwing it on top of her. You stepped towards the door, letting your hand rest on the knob as you gave yourself a pep talk. You knew what needed to be done, but had doubts about your strength to do so. Underneath your hard and confident exterior, you were nothing but a mess of cowardly second-guesses and insecure assumptions. You feared that once you stepped outside, any sense you had talked into yourself would flee and never return. With a deep breath, you swung the door open and stepped outside. The silence was astounding, and it seemed to be loud enough to deafen you. The sheer emptiness of the hallway was overwhelming, and it felt like it was slowly paralyzing you as it encouraged you to run circles.

With an unsteady nature, you stepped forward in the direction of Sam’s room. You made it halfway, then had to stop and reconvene your thoughts. “Why is this so fucking hard?” You whispered to yourself, running a hand through your hair. You leaned back against the wall, inhaling deeply in hopes that it would aid you in your search for confidence. You ran your palms across the fabric of your jeans, the scratchy material sending a shiver down your spine and regulating your body. “Okay, y/n. You can do this. It’s not that hard. Just knock on his door, and take it from there.” You whispered, knowing that if anyone were to see the state you were in they might have genuine concerns about your mental well being.

Just as you were about to continue on your journey, a door swung open just ahead of you. You snapped your head up, looking in the direction of the noise as a genuine fear flooded you. It looked like Sam’s door, which only prompted you to want to run. After a few seconds, a body stepped into view, and almost all of your nerves calmed. “Oh, hey, Aaron.” You sighed, laughing at your own foolishness.

“Y/n!” His eyes lit up as if he’d won a grand prize by finding you in the hallway. “I was just coming to get you. Makes my job easy.”

“Oh, me? No, actually, I-I have something I have to-“

“I think you’re going to want to come with me.” He chuckled as he walked towards you. He held out his arm, beckoning you away from the wall.

“No, Aaron, I have something really important to do, and-“

“This is more important, I promise you.” He said, waiting for you to join him. You watched him, hesitation clear in your face as you looked between him and Sam’s door. When he raised an expecting eyebrow at you, you let out a sigh that trailed off with a groan, slumping your shoulders as you walked to join him. “I will make up for whatever I’m taking you away from, but I really think you’ll be happy to come with me.”

“Whatever you say,” you sing-songed, letting him guide you towards the elevator. You both disappeared behind the doors, leaving Sam’s room as nothing but a memory as you were transported down to the first floor. “So, what’s this about?”

“It’s a surprise.” He chuckled. “I’m just thankful you were awake so I didn’t have to fight with you.”

“Come on, Aaron. You can’t drag me away from my very important things and not even tell me what it’s about.” You complained, tapping your foot against the ground as you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Okay, how about this: I’ll tell you what we’re doing if you tell me what you were doing that was so important.” Your movements paused as you racked your brain for an answer. There was no way you were willing to tell him the true intent of your journey, and the elevator dinged before you could come up with an excuse. “That’s what I thought.” He laughed, walking out without another word. You let out a huff of annoyance as you followed behind him, but you could not argue with his clear advantage over the conversation. He led you into the lobby of the hotel, making sure you were close behind him in case you had any inkling to turn away. The room was oddly quiet for a morning; nobody seemed to be waiting impatiently to check out, nor did the staff seem hassled with work.

When you made it to the front doors, Aaron greeted the bodies that were waiting for you. You could not see past him, so who was there would come as a surprise once he stepped out of the way. When the doors swung open and your manager stepped forward to exit, your heart sunk and your stomach churned. Jake was looking down at his phone, sunglasses on and wearing what looked to be the clothes he slept in the night before. When you woke that morning, Jake was not the first brother you had hoped to have an interaction with, nor was he the one you had the courage to face. You barely had enough nerve to walk towards Sam’s room, and you knew you would not have the strength to maintain any kind of normalcy with Jake.

“Didn’t know you were coming along.” Jake smiled, joining you by the side, but his excitement did not seem to match his words. He knew you were coming, and he had been shaking with anticipation since finding out about it. This was not your idea of a worthwhile trip, not because you did not want to see Jake, but because you wanted to see him so badly that it made your chest ache. You did not know if you would make it through the day without cracking under his pressure, and you knew if you did let him back in, you would only be breaking his heart even further.

“Guess everyone’s full of surprises this morning.” You tried to smile, but it came out with more similarity to a grimace rather than anything welcoming. “Not even sure why I’m here.”

“He didn’t tell you?” You shook your head, avoiding looking over at him for as long as you could. When you felt his hand grace your lower back, you nearly jumped out of your skin. “Trust me, you’ll be happy you came.” He said, tightening his grip ever so slightly. You had to fight every molecule in your body to not give in to the touch, to lean into him and forget every single thing you had sworn to that morning, but you persevered. Even if it was with great difficulty, you still considered it as an accomplishment.

“I’ll take your word for it.” You breathed, climbing into the backseat of the vehicle they had waiting for you. He slid in beside you, closing the door gently and locking you into seclusion with him once more.

“Have I ever lied to you, Gold Dust Woman?” He asked, looking over at you. You caught his eye for the first time that morning, feeling the breath catch in your throat.

“Not yet, Jacob.” Out of all the times you wished you could be alone with him, you never once thought you would wish you could get away from him. You looked out of the tinted window, mindlessly drumming your fingers against your leg in a clear show of anxiety.

“You seem tense.” He noted, inching closer without even realizing it.

“Oh, just tired.” You lied, hoping it would ease his worry enough to give you some more time to collect yourself.

“You know you can’t lie to me, Gold Dust Woman.” He said, sneaking his hand towards you and settling it on top of your own. You closed your eyes, revealing in the intimacy that would not last long. You hated knowing that you would have to put the moment to an end even if you were enjoying it so much. No matter if you still wanted Jake, you knew that all the conclusions you had drawn were correct and of grave importance. The longer you let the dance continue, the worse the situation would end. You had hurt him enough to know that you no longer had any right to be selfish, even if you so badly wanted to.

But, delaying the inevitable had always been your area of expertise, and for simplicity’s sake, you thought it alright to do it one last time.

“Can we just… can we just be friends, today? Co-workers?” You asked, avoiding looking at his face. You knew the pain that stemmed from your words was evident and quick to surface. “Yesterday was just… it was a lot for me, and I think I just need to sort my thoughts out before jumping right back into it.”

“Friends…” he deliberated, slowly releasing his hold on your hand. “Did you just friend-zone me?” He asked, almost laughing at the incredulity of the question.

“Just for today, Jacob.” You assured him. Even if it was a lie, you knew it was for the best. Your intent was to get both of you through whatever Aaron had planned for you, and then deal with your personal matters afterwards. If you were to break the news to him so bluntly and so soon, recovery would not be possible in the near future.

“Just for today,” he pondered, looking out the window. “Don’t think we’ve ever been good at being friends, sweetheart, but for you, I’ll try my best.” And he was right. Jake had been much less of a friend than any of the other boys. For a long time, he was an active participant of the party lifestyle that was so accessible in your home, and he grew into an acquaintance. Neither of you were fond of the bonding process, and fell into routine of knowing each other while remaining strangers. Within the months leading up to his confessional session in your bedroom, you had managed to bridge the gap between stranger and friend. You were caught alone more often, sharing secret hangouts away from the others to avoid jealousy or confusion, usually filled with shared music and drunken fun. It was never anything serious, or so you thought. Now, thinking back to the few days you spent with him as a ‘friend’, it was clear to you that Jake was trying to tell you he loved you without actually needing to say the words.

You felt even worse recalling his silent show of adoration, because you realized you had always been doing the same thing to him as Sam had done to you, yet he never seemed broken or bent out of shape because of it. Jake had grown familiar with the idea of loss, but he had not let it get in his way. Friends was never in his itinerary, but when it came to making you happy, he would sacrifice everything including his own life. “So let’s try for a day,” you said, more intrigued by the idea. “Even if we suck at it, it’s worth a shot, right?” He looked back at you, thrilled that you had finally found the strength to look in his direction. He gave you a small smile, not pleased about the idea, but curious as to what it would be like. “Can you spend an entire day not trying to get me into bed?” He chuckled, holding your gaze as he thought of a response.

“That would be the ultimate test of willpower, but I suppose I could try. Do you think you can spend the whole day rejecting me if I can’t?” It was your turn to laugh, finding the nature of the conversation easygoing and comforting. You missed laughing with Jake, and you hoped that after the day was through, you would still be able to laugh with him again.

“I think I can manage.” You nodded.

“Alright, Gold Dust Woman. Friends for a day.” He said, extending his hand towards you. You grabbed it, shaking it with a little bit of force. You felt guilty knowing that he was ultimately agreeing to the loss of you, but you were enjoying the happiness too much to break his heart.

“Friends for a day, Jacob.” You reiterated, dropping your hand back to his side. The rest of the car ride was silent, both of you wondering how you would be able to separate love from your relationship. It was a daunting task, but you were both too stubborn to admit you would not be able to do it. When the car rolled to a stop in front of the venue you were supposed to play at later in the evening, you were confused as to why you needed to be here so soon.

You broke out into the day, squinting at the stinging sunlight in your eyes. You waited for Aaron to join you so you knew where you were headed. He guided you into the back entrance of the building where you immediately noticed a crowd of people much to large for so early in the day. You bit your tongue instead of inquiring about your curiosity, knowing that you would find out why you were there in only a few moments. Jake immediately found himself busy with a crowd of people who were stationed outside of his dressing room, and Aaron guided you towards your own. He had a smile stuck on his face, clearly excited to see your reaction to the news of what you would be doing. When you peered inside your room, Rachel, your stylist, was sitting inside and on her phone to pass the time. “About time you got here,” she said, looking up with a smile. “I was beginning to think that you would never show up.”

“I’m here,” you laughed, giving a small wave to serve as a greeting.

“Sit,” she ordered, directing you towards the wardrobe chair. You did as you were told, taking post in the seat as she grabbed some items from her suitcase of supplies. “We’re going to spend a lot of time together today.” She said as she ran her fingers through your hair.

“Don’t we spend lots of time together already?” You asked with a small smirk on your face.

“Today’s a special day,” she informed you, turning your chair so she could see your face. “Did nobody tell you why you’re here?”

“No, and I’m assuming by now that nobody will.” You didn’t mean to sound so annoyed, but after being pulled away from Sam so early in the morning with no good reason as to why, you couldn’t help but feel slightly put off. She laughed at your comment as your personality showed through and as usual, it didn’t bother her in the slightest.

“You look better today. Brighter, more relaxed. You sleep good last night.” Her comments hit you like a truck. You knew the last two weeks your appearance had been lacking, so run down by the exhausting back and forth you had found yourself in. Running without a destination was tiresome and pointless, but now that the finish line was in sight, you could not lie and say that you did not feel better just by seeing it. You had your energy back, and your mind was finally calmed down just by knowing that you had a real chance at happiness. Until it was in your grasp, though, you refused to accept that this was the end. Your hesitancy to accept finality was not because of doubt in your decision, but because you knew the brothers too well to think they would let this go without a last word.

“Yeah, we did sleep really good last night.” You said, closing your eyes as she began applying makeup to your face. “Think the tour life is just catching up to me.”

“Mhm,” she hummed, dusting eyeshadow over your eyes. “Or the Kiszka life, maybe?” You peeked at her through the eye she wasn’t focused on, surprised that she made such a bold comment.

“Well, they do say that you shouldn’t fall in love with your coworkers.” You said, closing your eye again. With how public your ordeal had been made, you couldn’t even find it within yourself to be upset that she was commenting on it.

“Especially not two of them.” You both shared a laugh, finding it easier to joke about it than make it into a conversation. “Don’t let them steal your shine, Gold Dust Woman. They may be special, but not as special as you.”

“I’m trying,” you assured her. Within a few moments, she was finished with your makeup and pointed you towards an outfit she had picked out for you. She allowed you to change before pinning everything in place, and only took a few moments to do your hair. “Casual today?” You asked, looking the mirror as she worked on the waves in your hair.

“Simple, but beautiful.” She said, spraying on hairspray as she continued. She styled your bangs, making sure they would stay in place before stepping away to take a look at the finished product. “What do you think?” She asked, waiting for an answer. You looked to the mirror, dawning over the detail of your makeup. It was so well done that you could barely tell you were wearing any. Your hair was perfectly in place, and your clothes matched the look effortlessly.

“Very 70’s,” you noted, looking down at the bellbottom jeans. The tank top you were wearing was very low cut, one half a burnt orange and the other a rustic brown. The fabric was connected just under your breastbone with a large gem, and the shirt settled just around your rib cage. She threw a leather jacket your way with a smile and shrug of her shoulders.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, it’s a great thing.” You corrected, throwing the tan coloured jacket over your shoulders.

“Then it’s showtime.” She smiled, ushering you to stand. She guided you into the hallway where groups of people were standing with cameras and sound equipment. You looked back over your shoulder at her, nervous about what was to come next. Between a cluster of bodies, you caught sight of a familiar head of hair. You felt relief flood through you, knowing that whatever Aaron was putting you up to, Jake would be there to do it with you.

He looked around, noticing you almost as soon as you emerged from your dressing room. He broke off the conversation he was stuck in, and pushed through the crowd to join you. When he was fully in your line of sight, you felt like you had been punched in the stomach from his beauty alone. He was dressed in an all white suit, a flash of his chest showing and the lower button of his shirt loose. He had a ring on his finger, a chain around his neck, and a smile on his face that matched the ethereal aura he possessed. You managed a smile to match his despite your anxiety, comforted by his familiarity and always happy to be in his company.

He joined you by your side, clearly itching to wrap an arm around you, but stuck his hand in his pocket instead. He was always open for a challenge, and if being a friend was the subject at hand, he would try his absolute best to achieve the desired outcome. “You know what we’re doing, yet?” He asked, looking down at you. Even if he was adamant on complying with (in his opinion) your ridiculous request, he could not hide the pure adoration he held for you in his eyes. It was hard to ignore, even when you weren’t looking for it, and the strength in which he felt for you nearly sent you to your knees. On top of trying to force yourself out of love with him, you had to try not to punish yourself for the choices you made. Breaking his heart was never something you intended, but it was something you both knew was a possibility.

“Dressing up and taking pictures? That’s usually all you guys do.”

“Ha,” he rolled his eyes, mocking your weak insult. “You’re so clever, you know.”

“I try.” You grinned. He was trying to ease your mind with humour, and it was working. The longer you laughed with him, the less you thought about anything else.

“Pictures will definitely be involved, but not necessarily the focus of the day.” He said, giving you a hint in hopes you would figure it out on your own. You looked around, thinking hard as your eyes gazed at the bodies in view.

“An interview?”

“There you go, sweetheart.” He nodded.

“Like, a real interview?” You asked again, the reality setting in. “For like, a magazine?”

“Mhm,” he hummed, chuckling at your excitement.

“They actually want to interview me, too?”

“Of course they do,” he said, finally reaching out and placing a friendly hand on your upper back. It did not strike you as romantic, rather just a friend sharing your elation. “I meant it when I said that you were meant for this, y/n.” Your heart warmed at his soft smile, and you couldn’t help but reach out and wrap your arm around him, too. It was not laced with any implication, much less like any other touch you shared with him previously. Instead, it was just a physical show of your appreciation for each other. Even if you were not going to end up with Jake, you knew that you had a wicked respect for him as a person and never wanted to see a lifetime without him in it. Even if you were in love with him now, you knew he had the ability to be the best friend you had ever had, and you were holding on to that knowledge to get you through the rest of the battle.

Aaron stepped towards you two, happy to see the comfortable dynamic the two of you were engaged in. He had a small fear of you two not wanting to try and get along for the occasion, especially since the last few weeks he had seen nothing but the two of you ignoring each other. “Alright, are you guys ready?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Jake nodded.

“They’re going to take some pictures first, then the two of you are going to sit and answer some questions. That sound good?”

“Together?” You asked. Aaron nodded. “Okay, sounds good.” The manager gave you both a smile, then nodded his head down the hallway as if to tell you to follow him. When he took off in a fast walk, you both followed suit without any further questions. He lead you down to a nearby room that had been cleared and set up with loads of photography equipment. There was couches off to the side, and beside the white screen for the photography background, both of your guitars were set in stands, clearly polished and shined for the occasion. “They look awfully pretty together, don’t they?” You asked, looking over at Jake. He gave a small chuckle, slowly nodding his head at your words.

“Yeah, they do.” He replied, looking off at the distance but not necessarily at the guitars in question. A sad smile crossed your lips, but you didn’t let it linger. Before you had a chance to move on from the minor hurt, a photographer was quick to join you in the room.

“Alright,” she said, looking between you both. “Let’s get some individual shots, then some together. Mr. Kiszka, we’ll do yours first, if that’s okay.”

“After you, Mr. Kiszka,” you noted, a laugh stuck in your throat. You stepped to the side, allowing him to take the centre of attention. It wasn’t long before she was positioning him and snapping pictures. Some of them on his lonesome, but mostly of him with his SG. You were thankful for Jake’s growing collection; after the tragic loss of his SG due to the altercation between him and Sam, he at least had a backup to play for the meantime. You couldn’t hide your smile as he posed, finding yourself lost in the small details of his face. Even if you knew that a relationship with Jake was not in your future, you couldn’t deny his blinding beauty. His presence took up all of the space in the room, and you couldn’t find it within yourself to complain. You didn’t mind living in Jake’s shadow for the day, as a guitarist and as a person, because he deserved the attention. His talent and his personality was well deserving of recognition, and you were happy to witness it first hand.

“You’re up,” Jake said, placing his guitar back on the stand.

“Okay.” You nodded, making a move to stand in his previous position. You tried to relax yourself as much as you could, lowering your shoulders and putting on a blinding smile. The flash from the camera was overwhelming every time it went off, but you tried your best to not let it bother you. She took a few pictures of you in different positions, getting your best angles before asking you to grab your guitar. You did so, carefully holding it in your hands and positioning it as she asked you to. Eventually, she asked Jake to join you. He grabbed his SG, waiting for her to direct him further. She stepped forward, guiding him towards you and placing you back to back. She helped you position your arms to show off the instruments before taking a step back to see if she needed to change anything.

You were standing, leaning against each other as you held your guitars upright, slightly turned to face the camera. She took a few with no smiles, and a few with. You couldn’t lie and say that you weren’t thrilled about the outcome; she showed you both the product of her work, and you had fallen in love with the last picture. You were both standing in the same position, guitars shining brightly under the studio lighting, and you had smiles on your faces so large that you would never be able to guess there was any turmoil beneath the surface. Your eyes were glistening with the joy of being with each other. Despite the impending heartache, you had to stop and appreciate the moment of warmth. It was a memory you would long remember, likely until the end of your time, and the fondness would be solely accredited to Jake.

“Can we get a copy of that one?” Jake asked, feeling the exact same as you did about the picture.

“I can edit it before I send it, if you’d rather me do that.” She offered, but he was already shaking his head before she finished speaking.

“No, that’s okay.” He said, looking to you in hopes you agreed.

“Yeah, just like that is fine.” You nodded.

“Alright, sounds good to me. I’ll get started, and the interviewer will be here in a few minutes.” She said, smiling at the two of you. “Thanks, guys.”

“Thank you,” you said, head still spinning at the idea of being plastered on a magazine. Jake placed a gentle hand on your back once more and guided you towards the couches as the photographer left the room.

“See, that wasn’t bad.” He offered, taking a seat first. You sat down behind him, shaking your head.

“It was so cool.” You tried to hide your own gushing about the situation, but it was evident in your features. He laughed at your face, unable to hide his feelings for you as he did so. He settled back on the couch, fighting every urge to touch you in hopes that you might give in first. You settled back, too, also finding it difficult to keep your hands off him. You hoped that once the truth was spoken and the storm had passed, the desire to be with him would somehow disappear.

A few moments later, a young woman stepped in, different from the one who took your pictures. Behind her, there was a crew of people with audio equipment who would take care of the filming. She moved to greet you, shaking both of your hands and introducing herself. She settled on the chair beside the couch, pulling out a clipboard from her bag. “Alright, I won’t take up too much of your time. We just wanted to ask a few questions for the next issue of Guitar World. This tour is the talk of the town, and Gold Dust Woman is one of the biggest up and coming bands around.” She smiled at you as she finished her statement. You thought you were going to choke on your own shock, your heart racing and your eyes widening as you tried to process what she was saying. You had no idea the interview was for ‘Guitar World’, and you had no idea that you had gained enough popularity for such a prestigious magazine to know you by name. “They’re going to film, just so I have the interview on record to write the article later, so don’t mind them.”

“Sounds good to me.” Jake smiled, eyes lingering on the interviewer for a second too long. You noticed, shamed at the rush of jealousy you felt flood your body. You had no right to feel such things about him anymore, and you needed to get yourself out of that headspace as soon as possible.

“So, if you guys are ready, we can get started.” She offered. You both gave a nod, not finding any argument for the statement. “Perfect.” She said, settling back in her chair and giving a thumbs up to the staff running the filming. One they gave her the go-ahead, she started slow, getting you both to state your names and your band’s names. After that, she jumped right into the bulk of the questions. She started with Jake, asking a few simple things about their new album and their plans for the future. She noted the Grammy nomination they had received very recently, and inquired about his excitement on the topic. Eventually, she turned to you and began her deep dive into your musical career. “So, y/n, you and your band seemed to come out of nowhere; have you been a band for long, or is this something new for you?”

“Well, we’ve been a band for quite some time now, but we mostly played at local bars and restaurants around home. We’ve always been fond of the idea of doing something more, but never really had the chance to do it until now.”

“That’s fantastic,” she noted, making sure you knew she was listening. “Now, ‘Gold Dust Woman’, is that a play on the infamous Fleetwood Mac song, or does it mean something more to you?”

“I suppose both,” you chuckled. “I’ve always been a huge fan of their music, and Stevie Nicks in particular, but I was actually given the nickname a while back by a very important person to me. When we agreed to tour with Greta, we hadn’t really talked about an official name. I brought up the idea and they all seemed to love it. From there it was history, I guess.”

“So it’s almost like you get to carry a part of that person with you wherever you go?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, unable to hide the smile that was forming. “I owe a lot to that person, even outside of music, too. They helped me get to where I am today, and I couldn’t think of a better way to thank them for it.” You tried not to look over at Jake, wanting to avoid any sneaking suspicions from the public that it was him you were talking about.

“How has touring been so far for you? You said this was your first time?”

“Yeah, it is. It’s been fantastic so far. Seeing the world, spending time with my best friends and doing the things we love most… I couldn’t have asked for better.”

“Do you have any plans for an album for yourself?” She inquired.

“We definitely talk about it, but we don’t really have a label or anything of the sorts. I’m actually a recording artist when I’m not on stage, so if we do something, I can see it just being a private event for us.”

“I think now you’ll have labels fighting for you; the energy you have on stage is electric, and I don’t need to mention the talent, because that’s just a given.” You laughed, feeling your cheeks heat with a blush at her statement.

“Thank you,” you replied, trying to ease your nerves as you spoke. “That’s the dream, really. Music has always been a passion, and to think we have a shot at doing it full time is absolutely mind blowing.”

“I think we’re all wondering about your relationship with Greta. Have you been friends for long, or only in the recent months?”

“Oh, yeah. We’ve been friends for years, now. It’s been really cool touring with friends, because even when we’re exhausted, the work still doesn’t feel like work. Just like a little family living life together.” She smiled at the statement, nodding along with your words. Then, she turned her attention to Jake.

“What are your thoughts on the matter?”

“Oh, me?” Jake asked. “I agree wholeheartedly. Given the opportunity to work so closely with such fantastic people has been nothing short of remarkable. They’re all very passionate about their work, and they have proven to us beyond anything we ever expected that they were meant for that stage. It’s been an honour to work so closely with them, and if I could have it my way, I’d tour with them for the rest of our careers.” You looked over at him, a small blush dusting your cheeks at his kind words.

“You guys really seem to fit together in terms of visuals; has there been any hardships along the way? I know that sometimes everything might not be as perfect as it seems.” After a moment, he gave a slow shake of his head.

“No, not that I can think of. The benefit of working with people who you connect with on a higher level is that even when we struggle and all of our ideas seem to clash, we always come out stronger.” He said, confident in his answer. “I can’t speak for the future, but so far, it’s been delightful and almost cathartic in a way to connect with people who live and feel the same way about life as we do.”

“Awesome,” she grinned. “And of course, this might be a loaded question, but from one musician’s perspective on another, what is your opinion on Gold Dust Woman?” He drew in a long breath, leaning his head back for a moment as he thought about his answer. Eventually, he looked over at you while he collected his thoughts, then looked back at the interviewer.

“I think that they embody the spirit of what music used to be, and in todays age, that’s incredibly hard to find. As a musician, I have so much respect for their work and the energy they put into it and as a guitarist, I feel like there is so much that I learn from her all of the time. It’s wonderful to share a love for something so beautiful, especially when it’s something we can teach each other more about every day. I’m grateful for her talent and all of the ideas that she brings to the table, because watching her work her magic on that fretboard has inspired me to work harder with mine.”

“You seem quite fond of her,” she noted. Jake let out a small laugh, nodding his head.

“Yeah, you could say that. She’s more than my colleague; she’s my best friend. Family, even. I mean look at her up on that stage when she performs. It’s like she’s the modern day Stevie Nicks. I hear it in her voice, in the passion and the love for music, but it see it in her eyes and her heart. She’s got this aura that follows her around wherever she goes. It screams rock and roll, and power, and all of the other wonderful things that come with it. No matter who you are, I think it’s hard not to admire her when she’s doing what she loves most. And aside from the talent, she’s just a great person, and I can confidently speak for all of us when I say that it’s been an incredibly inspiring experience to be able to work with her.”

You could not seem to tear your eyes away from him as he spoke, your throat constricting and your eyes threatening tears. You had never heard words from Jake that were quite like the ones he spoke, then. They were full of truth and more profound than anything you had ever heard before. You never would have believed someone could speak about you with such admiration, and the fact that he was willing to admit it to the world was overwhelming. You had to pry your eyes away from him, feeling yourself falling in love all over again despite knowing that you couldn’t have him like that, anymore. You had made your decision, and you had to stick with it. It was the only way you would make it out alive.

“How do you feel on that subject?” She asked you, pulling you out of the trance you were stuck in.

“I couldn’t agree more,” you shrugged. “I mean, Jake is a phenomenal guitarist and working so closely with someone who can create magic with an instrument has been enlightening and encouraging. Despite popular belief, it’s never been a deterrent for me to work with someone who is so skilled. If anything, it’s been a huge benefit, and I find everything he does it’s very influential. When I feel like I should give up, I can look to him and find the inspiration to keep going. He teaches me just as much about music as I have for him, and as a musician, I envy the talent he has. I hope that I continue to have the opportunity to grow and play alongside of him, and that I can continue to know him as a person. We owe our success as a band to Greta, but I owe my success as a guitarist to him.” You could feel him staring, but you did your best to fight the pressure to look back.

“My final question for you guys is quite a simple one; we couldn’t call ourselves a guitar magazine if we didn’t ask the most important question of all. What guitars do you both play?” You both laughed at the simple nature of the inquiry, looking to each other to see who wanted to go first.

“I have a 61’ Gibson SG. Although, back when they first produced the line of guitars, they sold them under the name Les Paul. It’s my go to, and my pride and joy. I have a few other ones I use, but that guitar is definitely my number one.”

“I mainly use my 57’ reissue. It’s a Les Paul Gold Top style, and it’s been my tried and true since I started writing music.”

“Alright,” she grinned. “Thank you both so much, it’s been a pleasure speaking with you. I hope to talk again sometime, and I hope that the rest of the tour brings just as much happiness as the first half has seemed to. Maybe next time we see each other, you’ll have a new record for us to fawn over.” She told you.

“Thank you so much.” You said, reaching out to shake her hand. Jake did the same, and the both of you settled back in your seat as the crew filed out of the room. You let out a long sigh, heart still pounding in your chest. When the room was empty aside from the pair of you, you finally turned to look at him. “Did you mean all of that?”

“Of course I did, Gold Dust Woman.” He whispered. “Did you?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, feeling the sting of heartbreak begin to make its appearance once again. You had no idea how to let him go after he said such beautiful things about you. He checked the clock on the wall, noting the time of day before he spoke again.

“Did you want to grab some lunch before soundcheck?” He asked. “As friends, of course.” He added, making sure you were aware he was still adhering to the agreement.

“That sounds like fun.” You agreed, almost wishing that you did not agree to be friends for the day. The longer you spent with him, the more your morals seemed to disappear.

“I’ll go get changed, then we can go?” You nodded, unable to speak any more words without either ending things forever or professing undying love for him, and neither seemed like an option you wanted for yourself. Without any other conversation, he stood and left you on your lonesome.

You leaned back into the cushions of the couch, praying that they would swallow you whole and hopefully end your incessant misery. You knew that going out with Jake would only worsen your predicament, but you couldn’t seem to refuse the offer. Much like the beginning, he was irresistible in his charm and impossible to forget. You weren’t even sure if the devil or the angel was behind the decision, and you didn’t seem to care enough. Whether good or bad, you were bound to enjoy the experience anyway. If you had to leave him, you would at least have one good memory to end the experience with. You settled your shaking hands, satiating your thoughts with empty promises to yourself as you stood. You knew that in no way was entertaining any further relationship with Jake the right thing to do, but you were just too much of a coward to confess it.

You walked into the hallway, almost immediately running into Aaron. He gave you a pat on the back and a few words of gratitude for your cooperation. You made it a note to genuinely thank him later on once the turmoil in your heart had settled. You walked towards Jake’s dressing room, waiting patiently for him to finish up. You did not have to wait for long, because within a few moments, his door swung open and he was back in your company dressed in his regular clothes. He had a pair of sunglasses settled low on his nose and a lazy smile on his lips. It only took a few seconds for sandalwood to choke you and your sin to catch up in time for the kill.

Wordlessly, you walked out of the back door of the venue. You headed in the direction of the street in search of somewhere to eat. The sidewalks were barren in contrast to the cars passing by, and you only had to walk for a short while before you came across a strip of buildings. There were a few local shops, but your eyes landed on a coffee shop that peaked your interest so much that you couldn’t bother to see what else the town had to offer. Jake noticed your expression, not needing to ask if that’s where you wanted to go. When it came to caffeinated beverages, you were always the first in line. He led the way to the front door, opening it for you and allowing you to go inside.

The vibe in the air was immediately calming and the smell of coffee filled your nose. You let out an audible sigh of relief just knowing that you would have one in your hand soon enough. Jake stood beside you in line, silent but relaxed as you both looked over the menus. “What do you want to eat?” He asked, turning his head to look over at you.

“I think the ham and cheddar looks good,” you noted before looking to the next board. “Oh, they have soup!” You exclaimed, keeping your voice quiet. He had to laugh at the glee you felt for such a simple idea. Before you could say anything else, he took a step towards the cashier. You followed behind him, but clearly didn’t need to aid him in ordering. He listed off your coffee, the sandwich and your favourite soup out of the list they were offering. He ordered for himself and paid before you could even think to grab your wallet. “You didn’t have to do that, Jake.”

“I know, I wanted to.” He assured you, moving down the line to wait for the order. When everything was ready, you both carried the items to a secluded booth in the corner. When you sat down, silence became you once more as if it were your destiny to have so much to say but be unable to speak it. You were so wound up with anxiety that you found it difficult to begin eating. Instead, you sipped at your coffee and found yourself delighted at the taste. Once again, he proved to you his ability to remember the details that nobody else cared to look for. “Oh, I almost forgot,” he noted, grabbing his phone from his pocket. He was occupied with the screen only for a moment before you felt your own vibrate. You grabbed it, checking the message he had sent you. There was an attachment, and when you clicked on it you felt a whole new wave of shame wash over you. It was the picture the two of you had gotten together during the photoshoot. “She emailed it to me during the interview. Figured you might want it too.”

“I do, thank you.” You muttered, never letting your eyes move from the photograph. It was an infinite reminder of the elation the two of you felt when around each other, and it would forever haunt you because you knew you had to let it go.

“Speak your truth, Gold Dust Woman.” He said, taking a bite of his own food.

“What do you mean?” You asked, cracking the lid of the disposable soup container.

“Something is on your mind.”

“No, I’m okay.” You shook your head, another punch of guilt thrown when you saw he had somehow also known what your favourite soup was. He seemed to know everything about you without you ever needing to speak the words, and it seemed like every higher power had intent to punish you, and they were doing their job splendidly.

“How many times do I have to tell you, you can’t lie to me, y/n.” You looked up to meet his eye, immediately crushed under the weight of his stare. You had to correct your previous thought; it was not the picture that would haunt you for a lifetime, but rather him as a whole. How strange it felt to be haunted by someone was still alive, but that was exactly how it felt to be in his presence in that moment.

“What do you want me to say, Jake?”

“Anything,” he pleaded, although not blatantly apparent in his desperation for an answer. “You didn’t ask me to be friends for a day because you can’t make a decision; you asked me to be friends today because you already have, and it’s not me.”

“No, Jake.” You shook your head hoping he would see reason. You hated that he could decode every lie and half-truth that came out of your mouth before you even spoke it. “It’s not like that,” it was like that, but you were nowhere near ready to profess it.

“Then what is it, sweetheart?” His voice was not condescending, nor angry. It was inquisitive, like he just needed to know what the truth was.

“I don’t know,” you sighed, closing your eyes to block out the tears that were begging to be shed. “I know that it hurts, but I don’t know where it hurts. It doesn’t stop, and I don’t think it ever will. And I know that we suck at being friends, because I’ve spent the entire day falling more in love with you than I ever was before. You get on camera, and you say those sweet things that nobody else has ever thought about me, and you look at me like I’m the best thing to walk this earth, but I’m not, Jake. I’m far from it, and you need to realize that, too.”

“So that’s your plan? You want me to stop loving you so you don’t have to pull away, first?” He knew, and he knew from the minute he saw you. You couldn’t back down and you couldn’t run away. He had you cornered, and you felt like you were going to snap under the pressure. “If so, that’s never going to happen, angel. I’ve loved you quietly for years, and I can keep loving you quietly while I hope you come back. Falling out of love with you has never been an option, so I’ll learn to live with it, even if it hurts.”

“And I’ll love you forever, even if it hurts.” You said, a grimace taking hold on your lips. “I can’t figure out how to stop loving you.”

“Then why are you trying if you haven’t made up your mind?” You looked up, tears blurring your vision as they landed on his face. He had locked you into stalemate yet again. You wished that you didn’t have to feel it anymore, but you felt everything. The pain sprinkled with regret, the shame mixed with sadness, and the love coated with desire. You felt everything for him, but you knew you shouldn’t. It was a terrible game to play, the one in which you tried to differentiate between right and wrong, especially when it came to him. From the very beginning, the rights felt wrong with Jake and the wrongs felt right. When in his company, you had no idea how to draw the line between needs and wants, and you had no idea how to implement any sort of morality when he was more powerful than any sin or holy force. “You can say the words, y/n. I can take it.”

“I don’t want to.” You shook your head.

“You have to.” He said, defeat clear in his face. He had lost, and he needed to hear you say it in order to begin to heal from the wounds.

“Jake,” you sighed, hands shaking as you reached for your coffee cup “don’t do this, now. That’s not why I came here with you.”

“Maybe it’s why I came, y/n.” He offered the idea, knowing that you hadn’t yet thought of that possibility. “I love you, and you know that, but if I’m not what you want anymore, I need to learn how to be your friend. It’s going to suck, but it’s something I have to do, and I have to start now if I’m ever going to be able to do it.”

“I love you,” you whispered, biting the inside of your lip to stop the tears from falling.

“But you love him more.” He said, watching your face to try and understand if he was reading the situation right. “It’s okay, angel.”

“It’s never been about that,” you shook your head. “It’s not about loving someone more, or even wanting someone more. It’s just been about what feels right, and what you and I have been doing is fantastic, but it’s just as hard as it is good. I don’t know if I can do that for the rest of my life.” Your heart ached for him, and the pain that was clear in his eyes. He had no fight left in him, and neither did you. It was a horrible thing to say, but it was the truth. You and Jake had been no stranger to struggle, and perhaps the complications lied within the lust that so often overshadowed your emotional need. You had forgone the emotional connection in hopes that sex would solve it for you, but the truth of the matter was that you both had no idea how to love one another despite feeling it so strongly. The good days were great, but the bad days were horrible. Days of ignoring each other, the name calling and yelling all pointed straight to failure.

You knew you could love Jake forever, but the work that you would need to do was extensive, and the idea alone sounded exhausting. He was worth the work, but the knowledge that heartbreak was still such a huge possibility if you chose him was a major deterrent. It was not a lack of love that was driving you away, rather just your fear getting in the way once more. If it were any normal type of pain, you would be able to see past it, but heartbreak over Jake was entirely new type of pain that was worse than any other.

“That’s okay, Gold Dust Woman.” He assured you, but you saw a glisten of tears in his eye. It was gutting, and you had to look away to stop yourself from crying, too. “We tried our best, and that’s what matters.” He cleared his throat, trying to cover the quiver in his voice, but you noticed it more than you heard the words he was saying. “No matter if you’re with me or not, you are the fire that burns in my heart, y/n. It has been a privilege to love you, and I really hope that maybe I’ll get the chance to love you again someday.”

“Jake,” you pleaded for him to stop. Your heart could not take the weight of his grief, and you were certain if he continued, you would succumb to the temptation of loving him.

“I get to speak my mind, too.” He defended himself. “I love you so much, y/n. More than I ever thought I could, and I’m happy if you’re happy. Loving you has never been a selfish thing for me; I do it even knowing that it could hurt me, because your happiness is above everything else. I’m just grateful to have spent time with you at all.”

“I love you, Jake.” You said, reaching out for his hand that was resting on the table. “I keep thinking that things would be easier if we did this the right way, but there is no right way, and it hurts no matter what I do. I’m trying to convince myself that it’s okay that this wasn’t for us, but it kills me. I wanted it for us so badly, but sometimes things just don’t work out.”

“I know, angel.” He said, running his thumb over the back of your hand. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

“Can we… just wait until we’re back at the venue? One last date, in love and happy.” You asked, but it was more like begging. You could bear the weight of the separation yet, and you would do anything to delay the inevitable.

“You don’t look very happy, baby.” He said, reaching across the table and swiping a tear away with his free hand. You closed your eyes, fighting back a sob as he held your face in his hand.

“I’m with you, so of course I am.” You breathed, but more tears fell just from speaking the lie of happiness.

“Come on, beautiful. Look at me.” He said, voice so quiet that it barely broke through the air of misery. You did as he wanted, eyes opening only to be met with his own saddened face. “Dates are supposed to be fun, there’s no need for tears.” His comfort served little purpose, because there was one falling down his own cheek as he tried to calm you. You lifted your hand, settling it atop of the one he had on your cheek. You managed a small smile through the mess of tears, uncaring for the public display of emotion.

“You’re right,” you sniffled, nodding your head. You wiped your face clean, taking a breath to calm yourself down. “Dates are meant to be fun.”

“So much for friends,” he chuckled, wiping his own cheek free of tears.

“I told you, we sucked at it anyway.”

“We did.” He agreed. “Destined to be lovers, stuck being friends.” He attempted to make the joke, but the reality of his words was harsh. You took another drink of coffee, hoping the beverage would warm your soul and give you the energy to make it through the day.

You both got lost in small chatter, ignoring the outside world and choosing to remain in the little comfortable bubble you had created in the cafe. Inside, nothing could hurt. At that table, you were free to love each other forever and never have to worry about stopping. Outside, the cold world would put an end to the relationship you had worked so hard to save. You wished you could stay in the cafe until the end of time, with Jake and away from any other worldly trouble, but it was just not plausible. Eventually, when both of your phones began to ring, you knew you had to move on and let go. Letting go was the hardest part of living, but you knew you had to face it sooner or later. You could only hope that when the storm cleared you could both move on and better yourselves from the mistakes you had made with each other, but the thought of learning from your mistakes with Jake only to use the lessons with another was sickening. As much as you knew that you needed to, letting him walk away was terrifying, and the thought of him loving another was gut wrenching.

When it came time to leave, you both were dragging your feet walking out the door. With his hand in yours, you began the slowest walk of your life, using a snails pace to avoid the inevitable end that came with your arrival. The building came into view like a grim foreshadowing of the future. Before your reached the door, you had to stop him in hopes of savouring one more moment of peace. You turned to face him, hand still resting in his own as you tried to catch his eye. His gaze seemed glued to the ground, fearful of looking up at you in case you caught sight of his weakness. “I love you, Jake.” You whispered, snaking your arm around his neck. He pulled you into him by your hip, so close to your face that your noses were brushing together.

“You could take any type of love, multiply by a million, and you still would only have a glimpse of how I feel about you.” Your heart was shattered, all of the pieces lying sharp in your chest and stabbing into you with every breath you took. You leaned forward, kissing him softly as a show of affection, but also as an apology for the pain you caused. For a few beautiful seconds the world seemed right, but as always, it had to come to and end. He placed another soft kiss to your lips, just like rubbing salt in a wound. “I’ll always be here, Gold Dust Woman. If you ever change your mind… I’m here.”

“You’ve always been too good for this world, Jake. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t be more for you.” He shook his head, face still unbearably close to your own.

“You are everything, angel.” He corrected, not willing to accept any slander towards you. “In another world, you and I are happy together. Just because it’s not this one doesn’t mean that you aren’t enough for me. Maybe you’re just too much, and I don’t know how to appreciate all of it yet.” He leaned up and pressed a kiss to your forehead, lingering for a moment too long. He had to force himself away from you, knowing that it was doing nothing but hurting you both more. “Thank you for everything, y/n. These last few months have been so amazing, and it’s all because of you.”

“Thank you, Jake. You have no idea how much you’ve done for me.” He gave a tight lipped smile and a curt nod, knowing he shouldn’t continue feeding into the conversation, but wanting it more than anything.

“Here’s to being friends, Gold Dust Woman.”

“To being friends,” you let out a shaky breath, feeling the tears begging to make a return. You both let your stare linger for a moment longer before you eventually took a step towards the building. He watched you walk away, desperate for you to stay but unable to muster the courage to say it. He knew the most amicable thing was to let you go, but it was horrendous for him knowing that once you walked through that door, you would never be his again.

You nearly broke down the door with the strength you used to open it, tears flooding your cheeks once again as you walked towards your dressing room. As you stepped inside, you managed to stop your sobs just enough to catch your breath. Unfortunately for you, it was not enough to evade the questions of the person who took post in your room, waiting for your return.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” You looked up, shock and sadness written all over you with no way to hide it. As if the universe was playing a trick, another violent lesson after your months of nothing but learning, Sam was sat on your couch, looking up at you with major concern.

“Fuck, Sam.” You swore, wiping your face free of the mascara stains. “You scared me.” That was not what you truly wanted to say; in fact, you wanted to send him away and cry in solitude, to tend to your wounds without an audience, but you thought that maybe his comfort was exactly what you needed. The rainbow shining after the storm, sitting on your couch waiting for you just to prove that life could still be beautiful despite the pain.

“Sorry, Princess. I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay,” you shook your head, taking a step towards him. “It’s okay, I’m okay, everything is okay.” You promised, but you were trying to convince yourself of the fact more than anything else. “I’m glad you’re here, I’ve been trying to find the time to talk to you all day.” You chuckled, shaking your head at the days events.

“Well, I’m here now.” He assured you, standing to meet you. He reached out, drawing you in to him with an open arm and an invitation. You gravitated towards him, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. He responded with the same energy, holding you tightly and revelling in the warmth of your touch. You settled your head on his chest, taking a deep breath to relax your mind. In his arms, it felt like the war was over; you had won, and it was time to go home and rest. “Oh, I got you a coffee. I heard you were here early this morning, so I figured you didn’t have time to stop and grab one for yourself.” He said, pulling back from you only slightly. Your heart warmed at his words, comforted by the idea of him thinking of you.

“Thank you, Sammy.” You smiled, already feeling the pain begin to melt away.

“Oh, and congratulations on the interview.” He grinned, reaching behind him to grab the cup sitting on the table. “I know we’re supposed to be keeping our distance, but I just had to come and see you. Being on the cover of Guitar World is a huge deal, and I’m so happy for you.”

“It’s okay, I’m happy you’re here.” You assured him, feeling your heart speed as you prepared to confess all of the things you had been waiting to tell him.

“Me, too.” He smiled, handing you the coffee that was still hot. “I’m always happy to see you.” You closed your eyes, letting the cup warm your hands as you mustered the courage to speak. Before you said a word, you brought the lid to your lips and took a long sip of the beverage. As you swallowed it down, you almost grimaced at the taste, immediately looking down at the lid. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I couldn’t remember how you liked it, so I got some cream and sugar on the side.” He said, suddenly recalling the bag of items that was also laying on the table.

You felt frozen, your eyes stuck on the lid marked with nothing but a big, bold red flag. The blood drained from your face, leaving you pale while dread seeped in to take its place. The interaction, although small, spoke louder than anything had before. A flash of memories took over you, recalling all of the coffee cups presented to you from Jake in the past, all marked with hearts and smiles, and the exact order that you would have had if you bought it yourself. You thought you might be sick, your stomach churning with unease and anxiety as you continued to stare down at the cup in your hands. The interaction was earth-shattering, making it obvious to you of one horrific thing; Sam knew you, and that was true, but just not enough. After months of dates at cafe’s and restaurants, he couldn’t seem to remember the simplest of things, and for some reason, the fact was abhorrent for you to choke down.

Sam knew you, but he did not know you as well as Jake did, and after all of this time, he was still not the one for you.

You had spent so much of your life wishing that Sam would notice you, that he would suddenly become the person you had always hoped he could be, but it was all too much to ask of him. All of those months ago, the euphoria of finally hearing that he cared about you the same as you felt about him seemed to overshadow the reality of the situation. Your love for Sam had clouded your judgement in the worst way possible, so much so that you had put him in a pedestal and opted to ignore every flaw and red flag, just so you could continue viewing him as this perfect person you had created in your mind. If Sam wanted you so badly, he would have cared enough to notice how bad you wanted him. He would have taken the step, crushed the fear of rejection and loss so he could have his chance to be with you, but he did not. He waited until the very last second to speak, until you were emotionally vulnerable and unable to see the difference. Sam loved you, and you loved him, but it was never enough to make the difference. If Sam was meant to be with you, the universe would have allowed it long before now, and it never would have sacrificed Jake in the process.

As much as you hoped Sam was the one, he was not, and your former self wept for the person you wished he could be. You were such a fool for Sam that you disregarded every warning the higher powers had been trying to show you. Jake making his move on you that night was not a cruel trick, nor a joke made by the universe to laugh at your struggle. It was a sign and even more so, a reminder that if Sam was meant to be yours, he would be. It was the universe begging for you to move on, to actually see the world you had been missing out on due to your blind loyalty to someone who refused to notice you. Jake approached you that night because he loved you wholly and selflessly, the same way you had been loving his brother. He took the chance despite knowing you were foolishly in love with someone else, and he did it with strength and courage, even if he knew he was bound to lose sooner or later.

Choosing Sam was not a way to avoid heartbreak; it was only the beginning of a lifelong struggle with what-if’s. Sam had the opportunity to love you for years, but never managed to take the leap. Jake loved you so much and so quietly that it killed him, and when he finally understood he couldn’t just stop loving you, he found the courage to confess despite his own fear of vulnerability. By choosing Sam, you would only be admitting to your inability to grow and change, and you wouldn’t be facing up to any fears that you had been trying so hard to conquer. Loving Jake had risk, but real love always did, and he was more than worth the risk. If you truly grew as much as you believed you did, you would have recognized that your fear was for good reason, but nothing close to what you previously thought it was; you weren’t scared of Jake breaking your heart, you were afraid of losing the only person in the world you had ever genuinely loved with every single part of you. It was not a fear of hurt, rather a fear of failure, but in that moment, you knew you loved Jake enough to make anything work. Failure wasn’t an option, because you would die before losing him.

As you sat, staring at the coffee in your hands, you challenged every single thing you had ever believed in. When you looked up at Sam, you knew that you had made a mistake. Sam was not your person, and he never would be, but you had already broken the heart that had sacrificed everything for you. With little hope and little faith, you knew you had to right your wrongs one last time, to atone for the sins you had been recklessly committing for weeks. You had already broken two hearts, and now you had to break a third before ever having a chance at peace. You knew you had to, but the struggle lied within finding the strength to do so. Your only solace was in the idea that you may still be able to salvage the relationship with Jake, and that after so much heartbreak, you might actually be able to mend two back together.

It was time to pick up the pieces and go home, and home was a person, this time, and not the one you previously thought it to be. Jake had always been home to you even if you failed to realize it, and your only hope was that home still had his heart open to you. If not, you wondered if you had the right words to get Jake to find room in his life again for a Gold Dust Woman, because his Gold Dust Woman was more than ready to love him for the rest of her life.

pale shadow of a woman, black widow, pale shadow of a dragon, dust woman

haven’t i always said that it’s not over until it’s over? ;)

TAGLIST: @itsdannysworld @gretavansara @jaketlove @laneygvf @freefallthoughts @psychedelicsprinkles @idontwannabeherenow @joshysgirl @sanguinebats @objectsinspvce @klarxtr @sinarainbows @jakesmustache @gvfpal @hellowgoodbye @profitofthedune

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icallhimjoey · 2 years

Note

now you got me curious about part 5… though i do not want it to end, i’m sure it will be glorious. i need to read it asap !!! 🦦✨😤

look at what you've made me do, i hope you're proud of yourself 😤 (said with so much love omg this was so fun to write) wordcount: 3K

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Like A Poem

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

You were both sat in the big armchairs, now placed side by side almost in the middle of the store, with books in hand and eyes scanning words. Your stuttering breath hadn’t ceased yet, and Joe was paying close attention to it. Every couple of breaths, you’d spasm on an inhale and it was the most heartbreaking lone sound that filled the room.

It was nice that you weren’t sat opposite each other, you thought. You didn’t have to look at each other now. There was no awkward eye contact, and you didn’t feel watched by him. With your backs towards the windows, your view was just books and it felt like the rest of the world didn’t exist. It was just the two of you for now, and you felt comfort in Joe being there just like a house cat that would curl up in your lap when it noticed you were in a bad mood. Except you couldn’t exactly pet Joe. Although, you wouldn’t be opposed to it - those curls looked soft.

You were both silently reading, or at least trying to. You had just been staring at the same page for a while, not able to work your way through the words. Maybe you shouldn’t have come into the store today, maybe it had been a great mistake. The shelves felt both a cruel reminder and a warm embrace, almost too painful a combination.

When Joe heard your soft sobs pick up pace, he turned his head to look at you. You looked so fragile, so small. So far removed from the flirtatious sunny disposition he knew of you. Joe saw the tension in your jaw, and how you were white knuckling the book you were holding.

He didn’t want to make you any more uncomfortable by asking if you were okay, because obviously you weren’t. Asking you what was wrong, why you were crying, didn’t feel right either. Entirely unsure of what to say, he had remained silent. There had to be something else he could do for your comfort.

Then, Joe offered you his hand.

He moved his lower arm to splay over the armrests, wrist up and palm open. You looked at it for a second, blinking tears into your eyelashes. Joe then impatiently tapped his knuckles against the leather twice as his fingers stretched out more, motioning for you to grab hold of them. And so you did.

You slowly slotted your fingers together, and Joe closed his hand around yours, squeezing it tightly. It helped. Joe soothingly started rubbing his thumb slowly over yours and turned his attention back to the page he was reading. After a while, when he felt all tension had slowly faded from your hand, Joe let go of his grip to let his fingers play with yours. He traced the lines in your palm, twirled his fingertips around yours and drew lines down the lengths of them, all the way down to your wrist and back up. You let you head rest against the back of your chair and gazed at your hands slow dancing around each other. It was hypnotizing and reduced the anxiety you felt in the pit of your stomach.

“My grandfather died two days ago,” you revealed the source of your pain and your eyebrows immediately scrunched up when you heard yourself say it. You folded your free arm over your face, nose pushed into the crook of your elbow as you cried.

Joe’s mind went back to the image he had stored away in his mind of your granddad that day he met him in your store. And he was sad for you.

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say. When your sobs grew louder it prompted him to take a strong hold of your hand again, hoping it would have the same effect it had before.

“I thought-” your breath hiccuped and left you a painful expression.

“Breathe,” Joe cooed, squeezing your hand.

“I thought being here would help,” you blinked your eyes up at the high bookshelves that surrounded you, thick tears escaping them. “He’s in the walls here.”

“He’s in the books.” Joe added and you looked at him. He wasn’t smiling at you, but his expression had been so warm. So soft. He had been right. The books were exactly where your granddad was. Joe understood.

Your eyes trailed back to look at Joe’s hand clasped around yours. You used your sleeve of the other arm to wipe the underside of your nose.

“What did you talk about, with him?” you had wondered ever since you had gotten a little glimpse at their conversation in those same chairs.

Joe’s lips curled into a smile thinking back to it. He shifted in his chair to turn his body more towards you, and you did the same, hands still firmly holding onto each other, your tears still hot on your face.

“There were so many people here that day,” Joe reminisced. “But when I stepped in and saw the one empty chair, your granddad had immediately invited me to sit down.”

You tried to imagine what words he would’ve used.

“First thing out of his mouth was that he used to be the owner.” Joe stared into space as he spoke. “But now the store was doing much better because his granddaughter had taken over, and then he had motioned around at all the customers,” Joe used his free arm to mimic the movement, and you recognized your granddad’s proud expression in Joe’s face. He was painting you a clear image of how he remembered him.

You let yourself sink into your chair more, legs curled up, the side of your head against the backrest and one hand securely holding onto his. Your lips trembled as you listened to Joe, and you decided you were glad you’d come into the store today. It had not been a mistake.

“He explained how he tricked you into it,” Joe said, and he looked at you before looking up over your head. You knew what he was looking at.

“Told me to get it for him and showed me the tale that got you.”

The Moon Ribbon. “The Moon Ribbon,” Joe said it as you thought it.

“Did he read it to you?” you knew your granddad wouldn’t pass up on the opportunity. He wasn’t one to shy away from storytelling, whether you were a stranger at the bus stop, his waiter in a restaurant or a famous actor in a busy bookstore - if you had willing ears, he’d gladly read you anything.

Joe smiled and felt how your fingers squeezed his as you awaited his answer.

“Only the best bit.”

You felt your heart swell at the memory of your granddad always starting the story at the very beginning, wanting to read it to you fully, from start to finish, just to have you in the shop for longer. At seven years old, you would always tell him to skip to the best bit, and you’d help him turn the pages. You only wanted to hear the part where the ribbon of Silva’s hair led her to the moon lady, who then taught her that the heart can only be given, not taken. Listening to your granddad read about this fearless young girl, who was led through adventures by the only thing her true mother had left to her, the hair ribbon, you had always imagined yourself as Silva. Facing cruel people, young Silva needed to find courage to defend herself, and your granddad had always said that sometimes people would try to take hearts, but books would never. The way he’d talk about books as if they were magic had really reeled you into this passion and had led to you taking the bookstore off his hands when he eventually retired.

“You said he was wise,” you thought back to when you had stood under Joe up on a ladder when he had helped you restock shelves.

“It seeped out of him, didn’t it, wisdom,” Joe confirmed. “Just, his tone of voice, choice of words - the vocabulary on him really impressed me,” Joe chuckled to himself.

“It’s what 87 years of reading books will do to you,” Another spasmed inhale hurt sharply inside your chest. You took care to expand your ribcage wider and lengthened your exhale to calm yourself.

“I told him I come in here often, just to sit and to read and that you’d let me.” Joe’s grin grew, his thumb back at softly rubbing yours.

“He said that you knew better than to disturb a reading man.” Joe got a wet smile out of you, and he cheered internally.

“It was the one rule in here,” you explained. “If he was reading something, I was not to be loud, or rowdy. I couldn’t be a bother and wasn’t allowed to disrupt him. Or anyone reading for that matter. So when, as a moody teenager, I wanted to be left alone by him or my parents, I’d pick up a book and they would just let me read. It’s the best trick he’s ever played on me, I think.”

And then you felt it wash over you again, overtaking you completely, all of it too much at once, the ache of him not being there anymore, and yet everything that had ever happened in your life reminding you of him- it didn’t seem fair to you. Fresh tears fell from your eyes, and loud sobs escaped your throat.

“Sweetheart,” Joe exclaimed on an exhale and was quick to get up from his chair. He pulled you forward slightly by your arm, creating enough room to squeeze into your armchair beside you. Joe had to hold you, had to let you find comfort by giving you his chest to cry into, to hide into. With both his arms around you, you didn’t hold back and cried all of your sad out until you felt there was nothing left of you.

Your shop remained closed for two more days, until Anne had offered to come in and help you on Tuesday. She didn’t have many classes that day and could be there just past noon. Tuesdays were notoriously slow, so it felt like something you could handle. You had taken time to mourn and had found yourself somewhat ready to just have normal days again.

Anne hadn’t gotten the chance to meet your grandfather, but the voicemail you had left her on Friday night had really filtered through the state of you. You hadn’t been able to finish a single sentence you’d started and had given up halfway through and opted to text her after. “Just left a voicemail, delete it. Store will be closed tomorrow, probably Sunday too. Paycheck not affected.” And Anne had replied, “lmk when im needed”.

The way Joe had been there for you on that Saturday was a moment frozen in time that you had cut up into smaller pieces and then had slotted in between your ribs. You could feel them there when you’d take big, deep breaths, and it was grounding. It had helped you through the Sunday, and then also through the Monday after, and it had made you realize that you’d been wrong. Joe wasn’t meant to be read like a poem. Joe was meant to be felt like one.

You spent two full days wondering if it was okay to send Joe a message, just to say thanks. Logically, you knew that it would totally be okay. Your worry lied in that it was completely uncertain what you were to each other now. You had very clearly stepped into new territory, you felt. The main problem of sending a text was that you didn’t know how to say, “hey thanks for Saturday, you made life a lot easier for me that afternoon” whilst also conveying “thanks for not kissing me then, but I do very much need you to kiss me the next time we see each other, k?”.

You decided you were going to text Joe a photo of the sign on the door reading open that morning. Omitting words completely seemed the smartest thing to do. You spent the next however many minutes watching your phone like a hawk, procrastinating on tasks you had wanted to get done before Anne would get later that day. Fortunately it hadn’t taken long for your phone screen to light up at his reply.

“🥐 ?”

And then, about 40 minutes later, Joe had walked in with a small paper bag of croissants and his laptop under his arm.

“I’ve got something to show you.”

The photographs were stunning. Joe had said beforehand that you shouldn’t look at him in them, but to look at how beautiful your store looked in them. A stupid ask. You were taking it all in.

Hunched over his laptop, both of you behind the counter, elbows leaning on its surface, Joe opened one image after the other. “Pretty,” you said softly before you took another bite from the pastry in your hands. “Isn’t this?” Joe held his hand over the laptop screen to hide his portrait behind it, letting the two of you focus merely on one of the corners of your store in the background of the shot. It’s not what you meant, so you moved Joe’s hand away to reveal the full photo again. “Pretty.” You said again, louder this time, and Joe huffed a laugh through his nostrils, shy to take the compliment as you smiled at him.

“I’ll show you pretty,” Joe said, moving his laptop a little towards him so he’d have better access and after a few clicks, he opened an image of you.

Your eyes widened at it. When was that taken?

“When we had a smoke break, he snuck some photos from outside,” Joe answered the question you hadn’t asked.

In the image you were stood by a shelf, arms busy, books in hand. You remember you had seen the books that they had used as props hadn’t been placed back in their right spots, so you’d quickly busied yourself fixing it. What had shocked you most was how the photograph looked so very familiar to you. Where had you seen it before?

You took your phone out and opened its gallery. Joe watched your brow furrow as you scrolled through, trying to find something. You scrolled a long ways up, then back down a bit and then looked closely, eyes searching.

There.

You tapped it and turned your phone to Joe.

“Whoa,”

Joe took your phone and held it up next to the screen of his laptop. Brightly displayed on your phone was a black and white image you had taken of your grandfather in almost the exact same position, at the exact same spot - even almost in the exact same frame. Joe used his fingers to zoom in a little, matching the frame more to the image of you. Uncanny. He looked at you, worried that maybe he triggered something within you, but you were staring at the two images in awe. God, you were beautiful, Joe thought.

“He would’ve loved to have seen these. Can you send those to me?” you asked, not taking your eyes off them, almost mesmerized.

When Joe didn’t answer, you looked at him to find him looking at you, longingly staring, mouth slightly agape. Oh. You involuntarily swallowed thickly when you looked at his lips for a second too long. Joe brought up a hand and stroked a strand of hair from your face, caressing your forehead lightly and then down, leaving it there to linger on your cheek. His touch felt like fire on your skin. When you reached up to fold your own hand over his to keep it there, Joe moved in closer.

“If you don’t stop me, I’m going to have to kiss you,” Joe spoke in a near whisper, his eyes locked at your lips, and it tugged the corners of your mouth up into a small smile. You didn’t stop Joe, which was all the encouragement he needed to close the gap in between you and he pulled you into a sugary sweet kiss.

Joe kissed you slow, almost lazily, and both his hands had found your face to cup, fingers caressing around your jaw and ears. He could taste the croissant on you still. Your hands had found his sides before brushing around onto his back.

Months, you thought. You had wanted this for months.

You could feel Joe’s hot breath on your face when he broke from you, his nose nudging around yours before placing another open-mouthed kiss on you. And then another. And another.

You puddled into his hands, completely melted at his sweet touches, so careful and so cautious. Swept up, you wanted to swim in them for hours.

But then the door swung open, and the bell above it rang loudly, breaking your kiss abruptly.

Anne.

“Hi Anne,” Joe chirped, his hands still on you, but his tone of voice loud and upbeat like you hadn’t just entangled yourselves up into each other for a hot minute.

Anne had definitely seen you, you knew it, but it didn’t show in her face like nothing ever really did.

Anne’s eyes darted from Joe, to you, back to Joe, back to you. You were frozen in your spot, all wide eyes and wet lips.

“Gross.” She then groaned before beelining for the breakroom.

You stifled a chuckle, and Joe nodded with a furrowed brown. “Yea, alright.” He spoke loudly to Anne.

Joe hooked an arm around your neck and pushed you into him, tucking your head under his chin. You hugged him back, both arms around his waist. You knew he’d let you go in a second, because Anne was there, and you had work to do, and there were still croissants left to be eaten. So you took extra care to take it in. And you realized then that you could really feel Joe.

You could feel him like a poem. ---- The story continues in A Lot Like Love. Read here. ----

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#like a poem #part 5 #joe quinn #joseph quinn #fanfiction #slow burn #fluff #joe quinn x reader #joseph quinn x reader #the END

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