#when we dont exist

[boioz]

Like Moths To Flames - Praise Feeder

[sadisthetic]

the madness frustration loneliness of the dissonance of a mismatch of the rotten heart to the rest

allosexual aromantic swag happy pride *peaces out*

[redysetdare]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

[veronicaneptunes]

A long time ago, we used to be friends... The Veronica Mars pilot aired 20 years ago today- on the 22nd of September, 2004.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

warlock wizard Wally scribbles... Thinkings! oh and a bonus bard-ish Barnabys in the corner for flavor

outfit ramblings:

first of all that is a Terrible rendition of what Home looks like in my head. i just needed to fill empty space </3

the staff was the toughest part honestly. bc it Had to be paintbrush-themed, but then halfway through scribbling i was like "oh shit. there are only so many ways to draw a paintbrush-wizard-staff and Weevmo already hit it out of the park." so if you're seeing similarities! you're right! i tried to make it as different as i could! there is Inspiration from their marvelous design, however accidental or subconscious! Apologies!

he gets a pointed hood instead of a hat because a) it looks great on him! and b) it has less of a chance of messing up his hair! also c) it helps muddle the difference between Wizard and Warlock. typically hoods have evil/duplicitous connotation - blur the lines! i want his long gloves and forearm wraps to have the same vibe. his neckerchief is a big help in hiding Home's seal!

his layered (loosely apple-themed) capelet (which the hood is attached to) has a nice high collar & hides the details of his loose shirt - eye embroidery! and some flowers on the shoulders but yk, mostly eyes. on one side of the shirt buttons has open eyes, the other side they're closed! there's also one big eye on his back!

his belt buckle is two halves of an apple! he wears tall thigh-high boots w/ low heels to feel Taller! he has a book-holster hooked to the back of his belt, which holds his grimoire! and he has a lil thigh-bag that has been magicked to be Bottomless and warps size! he can fit pretty much anything in there! canvases! paint! apples!

his half-skirt thing (idk what the word for it is!) is really plush, like a quilt - his capelet is the same fabric. soft, cozy. sometimes he'll use the skirt thing as a blanket in a pinch, or as a picnic placemat!

is his outfit a little Complicated? is it annoying to replicate? yes and yes. but im a maximalist at heart and Nothing But The Best for the blorbo <3 layers my beloved <3

[aroaceleovaldez]

i think the thing i'm most disappointed about with riordanverse fandom now versus like 2014 is not only has the fandom not gotten any less racist or queerphobic or ableist (in fact in some regards its gotten worse!) but now it's just boring too. like there's no fandom infrastructure anymore - the community these days is almost entirely source material-driven - and you deviate from canon even slightly people get weird about it. whatever happened to the post-HoO fanon boom. the fandom needs to get weirder again. and self-sufficient. and less offensive.

[bigskydreaming]

Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....

And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.

The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.

And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.

Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.

HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.

But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.

That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:

His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.

Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.

[starry-bi-sky]

miscellaneous danyal al ghul things

specifically about the danyal al ghul from my post/prompt here and i wanna get my misc. headcanons/thoughts on him (especially in his early stay with the fentons) out here before i make any other danyal al ghul aus

list under the cut because whoops this got longer than i expected. which really i should have expected

the Fentons are unaffiliated with the League, which was perfect for Danny faking his death.

he struggles with empathy. Empathy was not taught nor encouraged while he was with the League, so it's a skill that's been pretty stunted. At 15 he's better at empathizing with people, but he still struggles with it. He's pretty bad at reassuring/comforting people and usually acts as an emotional rubber duck for Sam and Tucker to vent to if need be. He sometimes offers blunt and sometimes mean opinions, especially if its about another person.

Sam and Tucker do not know he's an ex-assassin, they are however, pretty positive that he used to be part of an eco-fascist cult with a focus on martial arts?? They've been helping him tone down some of his more,,, extreme views on humanity ever since they caught wind of his more extreme ideologies.

He and Sam are still avid environmentalists and feed into each other quite a bit. They spend plenty of time at protests and pestering the school into more eco-friendly options.

Dash is not dead on the sole fact that Danny knew he had to lay low in Amity Park and killing someone was not, in fact, 'laying low'.

he did, however, traumatize him when Dash first tried to bully him. Safe to say, Danny is not bullied at school and neither are Sam and Tucker.

Danny didn't make any friends in his first year at Amity Park. He was surly, grumpy, standoffish, more stubborn than Sam, and pretty self-important about himself. Jazz was trying to teach him against these things, but she is a 12 year old unaffiliated with the League. Danny did not respect her nor listen to a word she said. It wasn't until like, year two that he finally started paying to mind what she was saying and slowly started to improve on himself

Sam approached him first, he rebuffed her quite harshly, and then Danny approached her sometime afterward when he overheard her talking about environmental rights. Sam completely ignored him though when he agreed with her, and Danny had to later learn that he needed to apologize for being rude to her when they first met. He did so eventually, and they started to talk more with Tucker and Sam.

Danny's a bit more reserved than he is in canon, although he steadily learns how to act as a regular teenager when he's out in public. He's a bit more friendlier at least, although when he's around Sam and Tucker he drops the act. He still has a somewhat formal way of talking, it's just become more casual after a lot of ribbing from Sam and Tucker. When he's angry or annoyed he starts talking poshly though.

His humor is relatively the same as in canon, if somehow dryer and more insulting at some points

Those rare moments where he gets really pissed usually ends up with him insulting someone in arabic or any of the other languages he picked up from the league. He is the go-to for Tucker's Spanish homework. (Tucker makes that mistake and learns that Danny is a very strict teacher)

while Danny doesn't view the Fentons as his parents, even five years after living with them, he does respect them to some amount. He respects them enough at least that when Vlad Masters comes sniffing around, he is suitably offended on both Maddie and Jack's behalf. And when he finds out Vlad was the one who tried to kill Jack and tried to tell him to renounce him as his father/parental guardian, danny threw a suitably sharp object at him and insulted him quite horrendously

Vlad still wants him as his kid. In fact perhaps even moreso after this.

Danny trains with Maddie to keep up with his training. It's not quite the same but it prevents him from getting completely rusty

Sam and Tucker know that Danny has a little brother, but nothing else beyond that other than Danny cares about him quite a lot and that he got his facial scar from keeping him safe.

Danny cares about Sam, Tucker, and Jazz quite a bit, but he struggles to convey it. Especially early on when he realized he cared about them and like instinct started being harsher to them and more critical of their actions. This resulted in quite a few arguments with Sam and Tucker and Jazz until he got sat down and told outright that the way he was treating them wasn't okay. It's a process he's still trying to unlearn even at 15. He has become kinder towards them as a result, and has begun looking for what they did right rather than what they did wrong.

He harbors a lot of guilt over how he treated Damian in the League, and its a pretty big conflict he has with himself since he's torn between telling himself it was for the best to make sure Damian survived the League, and feeling like crap over how harsh/critical of Damian he was and realizing that he probably could have come up with a better way of training him despite being a child himself at the time. Danny comes to the realization that more than anything, that he just wants to apologize.

His ghost form, specifically is outfit, is a combination of his hazmat suit and his uniform from the league, and he carries a sword with him. He also doesn't know how to react to Dani, honestly. Although it is fair to say that he figures out she's a clone instantly because of her whole 'I'm your third cousin once removed' thing and he freaks out. She spills the beans pretty quickly after that. And Danny is pretty skittish around her - or the equivalent of skittish. Her being younger than him kinda reminds him of Damian, so he's uncomfortable by her presence but learns to warm up to her.

[deoidesign]

please please please please please please please let me tell you about this comic I want to make it so bad please I can not wait I am losing it

If I don't make the comic then I'm not going to make it... I need other people to see what is in my brain so I'm not the only one going feral over them

[napping-sapphic]

Send me every little selfie you take so that i can look at them whenever i miss you

[spitblaze]

gnc and butch women (cis AND trans) and transmascs are punished for performing masculinity past certain thresholds of arbitrary attractiveness because people that cishet society categorizes or clocks as 'women' are not supposed to perform masculinity. hope this helps 👍

[bunnyboilewd]

I dunno, maybe everyone on here saying how much they hate men even in little funny Tumblr speak might be damaging for all the trans men trying to escape reality on the "we love gays" site.

Like I'll be scrolling and see so many m/m ships and in the same scroll see "imagine men, ew." "At least I don't like men."

I know it's hehe funny site, but maybe we could also love men and not cringe at their mere existence.

Trans men, cis men, and masc identifying I love you, I support you and I hope you are loved by those around you.

[class-of-classic-blog]

MY HEADCANON FOR PARENTS NAMES:

Snow White: Bianca White ( Bianca means "white" and Whites are probably one of the most obsessed families with their story, every single Snow White had a name with meaning relative to the fairy tails,)

Evil Queen: Eris Queen (I can't remember did I read a fic where she was called Eris but I think that the name of the goddess of discord really suits her)

Sleeping Beauty: Rosalin Beauty (pretty standard name)

Cinderella: Ophelia Ella ( a sweet name for a sweet girl)

Red Riding Hood: Scarlett Hood (one more standard name)

Big Bad Wolf: Aiden Wolf (close friends call him Andy :) )

Dark Fairy: Darcy Thorn ( oh the irony of being the dark fairy with dark name and yet cover yourself in light)

Candy Witch: Cinnamon Witch (I also didn't come up with this name myself. I saw someone use it for her a really long time ago but I can't remember who. If the person who came up with this name sees this, you deserve a reward, the name is perfect. But I hc that she goes by her nickname: Candy. Why? Because it's such a cute nickname)

Pinocchio: Oak Wood (I think that every family name has something to do with trees or wood. Oak sounds like a perfect name for someone sweet, young and cheerful and later as an adult calm and wise)

Goldilocks: Dolly Locks ( I just think that its a cute name and she kinda remind me of Dolly)

Huntsman: Archer Huntsman (Okay, so, Huntsmans are bad at naming their kids, like REALLY BAD. Hunter we are counting on you to break that cycle)

King Charming: Dashing Charming (I read one fanfic were he is named Dashing and i think that name suits him, i myself couldn't come up with the more fitting name)

Queen Charming: Grace Charming (I also read that one in a fanfic and i think it fits her, somehow whenever i think of Charmings Dashing and Grace are the first name that come to my mind)

Rapunzel: Cressida O'Hair (I first just like the name but then i found out the Cressida means "golden" so it goes well with Rapunzel story)

Pied Piper: Devin Piper ( It means "bard" or "poet", the perfect name for a musician. Also, Piper is really a cool name, too bad it is already his last name)

Mad Hatter: Maddox Hatter (I just like silly names for Wonderlandians, especially Mad Hatter)

Queen of Hearts: Victoria Hearts ( okeey, it's not a very Wonderlandian name but neither is Elizabeth and Vicy is a cute nikename)

Cheshire Cat: Lorelai Cheshire (I didn't want to go for the obvious one Chatrine, like, I get it, she's a cat, She literally named her daughter Kitty, or maybe Katrine Kitty for short, BUT THEN I REMEMBER THAT TOLERAI EXISTED which is literally the same name just different first latter and I already gotten attached to Lorelai, so, umm if you all could just do me the favour and pretend that these are TOTALLY different names I would be very thankful)

Alice Wonderland: Amilia Wonderland ( Also would her last name be Wonderland or Liddell? Bonus cute nickname Amy)

White Rabbit: Castor Blanc ( At first i just liked the name but don't you think that "dutiful" is a perfect for White Rabbit)

White Swan: Elenor Swan ( It means "shining light" and to be honest with that destiny she's going to need some light in her life)

Black Swan: Callisto VonBart (What would be the last name of The Black Swan? VonBart?BlackSwan? I put VonBart because I found an OC of Odille on Pinterest and her last name was VonBart. I don't know)

Frog Prince: Hanry Croakington ( i reafuse to belive that he named his son after himself. Nuh-uh. He named Hopper after his father or maybe his grandfather)

Robin Hood: Wren Hood ( Listen, Listen, maybe they just have a thing with the birds?)

Maid Marian: Pandora Charming ( I don't think that there is a destiny stricly for Maid Marian. I think thats just a princess from Charming family or from nobel family, that's why i gave her last name Chaming. Last name changed after the wedding)

Beauty: Primrose Beauty ( Ah, Beauties and their roses)

Beast: Damian Beast (like it)

Fairy Godmother: Beatrice Goodfairy ("blessed one" mmm... too bad you can't bless yourself)

Jack Beanstalk: Jasper Beanstalk (nice)

Snow Queen: Isolde Winter (perfect for ice queen)

Snow King: Nikolai Winter (took his wife's last name, couldn't think of his own that's not arleady taken)

BONUS: PRINCES CHARMING

The Good King: David Charming (i think that only the main Charming follow that logic with names where all siblings have names with the same first latter)

Cinderella's prince Charming: Louis Charming (he's a nice boy)

Snow White's prince Charming: Cassian Charming (I just like it)

Sleeping Beauty's prince Charing: Liam Charming (don't ask)

[themyscirah]

What runs/stories do you recommend for someone starting WW? Could you please be specific (/nicely)

Yeah ofc!

My Wonder Woman Starter Recs (specific style 😎)

First stops: for an initial introduction to Wonder Woman, I'd generally recommend going to at least one of three places first. These three are:

Wonder Woman: Historia: The Amazons by Kelly Sue DeConnick

Wonder Woman: Year One by Greg Rucka

Wonder Woman: the Hiketeia by Greg Rucka

Of these I generally recommend reading Historia first, as it's a retelling of the origin of the Amazons as a race and how Diana came to be (so it essentially starts from the beginning) and is also the most recent of the them (if that means anything). Something to note about Historia though is that it's a DC Black Label book, so it's events aren't strictly canon in the main DCU and there are some changes and new elements present. I don't think this is something that should discourage anyone from reading it though, it's the best WW origin story out there, and even in strict main canon over the years her origin is one that has had many fluctuations and small (& sometimes big) changes. WW:Historia is three prestige format (longer) issues.

You'll notice the third book there is WW: The Hiketeia. Hiketeia is a great book if you're looking for a view into Diana as a professional and experienced hero. It's a graphic novel so standalone and not too long, and has a great Diana and really interesting plot (Diana vows to protect a young woman and finds herself pressed against the wheels of Greek Tragedy). This is also the first work with Diana done by Greg Rucka, one of her most prolific and loved writers. A sampling of this work (and also Historia) I think gives a good guide to where to go next in terms of runs on her main title.

Wonder Woman: Year One is the second book on the list up there, but I'm mentioning it last here as it's a bit more complicated in terms of format. Unlike other year one books, WW: Year One is actually a series of issues on her main title, showcasing Diana's arrival to man's world in Rebirth (and also current p sure) continuity. The issue numbering for this one is strange (only the even issues 2-14 on WW (2016)) so I recommend looking for this in trade form if possible.

These 3 books I think give a taste of some of the best standalone stuff in the Wonder Woman mythos, and give the reader a good idea of where they may want to go next in terms of longer runs on the title. So I'll break that down here as a Step 2.

STEP 2: WHERE NEXT?

Here I break down some highly recommended runs based on what they have in common with the standalone books from step 1. As a rule, these runs are going to be much longer than the above and generally more connected to the wider DCU and other books. Look for the italics to see the introduction to each new work. Explanation paragraphs follow after each italic/bold rec.

Curious about Greek mythology in WW and the Amazons' origins after reading Historia? Liked the prescence of a supporting cast and Diana learning about Man's World from Year One? Willing to read a longer run? I recommend: Wonder Woman by George Pérez

George Pérez's time on Wonder Woman totally reinvented the character after Crisis on Infinite Earths, and is fundamental in establishing many core concepts of her lore. At 62 issues, 2 annuals, and a 4-issue crossover event at the end (War of the Gods), it's definitely a commitment to read, but it's the most enduring and well-loved run on Wonder Woman for a reason--it's just that damn good. Lots of focus on mythology (although with a lighter tone than Historia) alongside Diana learning her role in relation to Man's World & establishing herself as a hero and ambassador. Pérez's run also has almost-certainly the most expansive and developed supporting cast in WW comics, something that really drives the emotional core of the series, especially in later issues. Obligatory note that this series was written between 1987 and 1992 and contains some very occasional aspects that I thought were in some way dated/uncomfortable etc. while reading (details of Cheetah's origin, depiction of the Bana-Mighdall, Hercules) but despite that I still highly, highly recommend this run. The word fundamental cannot begin to describe it.

Liked the experienced Diana of the Hiketeia? Interested to see her attempt to balance the high stakes responsibilities of an ambassador and superhero? Looking for some really badass moments and fights? Haven't read enough terrible tragedy? I suggest: Wonder Woman by Greg Rucka 2003 EDITION.

Some of Diana's coolest moments of all time are collected here. Also one of her most controversial. The 1st Rucka run is very much the story for anyone who liked the Diana of the Hiketeia and the tragedy of that and Historia. 2003 Rucka Diana is a Diana tested, forced to make decisions that are anything but easy, and live with the consequences. She's extraordinarily capable, but her enemies know that and are prepared to that end. This run, along with the Pérez run, rank among my favorite Wondy comics of all time (those and Historia are my top 3). This run is such peak Diana, especially in terms of sheer badassery. Her final confrontation with Medusa is in my opinion perhaps the greatest Wonder Woman fight scene of all time. Her encounter with Athena in the second-to-last issue breaks me every time. Cannot recommend this book more.

*a note abt this run is that it is more context-dependent than the other ones listed here, as it's the run that finishes out the Wonder Woman vol. 2 book and so has some guest appearances from characters introduced in other prior runs (Artemis of Bana-Mighdall, Cassie Sandsmark, and Vanessa Kapatelis, to name a few). I read this run before knowing much (if anything) about any of them, and still enjoyed it a lot, so I wouldn't be worried about this really but just thought I'd mention it.

Rucka's 2003 run is published from Wonder Woman (1987) #195-226. You can also find it in trade and I believe(?) omnibus. Sometimes the Hiketeia is included in collections of this series, as the 03 run is thematically similar in many places, just with a much deeper look at Diana and the world & with higher stakes.

Liked the specific characters and plot threads of Wonder Woman: Year One? Want to see what happens with Diana's exile, or learn more about Barbara Ann? Want a Diana in between the extremes of young and highly experienced? Wonder Woman by Greg Rucka 2016 EDITION may be for you.

...yes I'm putting ANOTHER Rucka book on here. He writes a great Diana, what can I say. This run is the same one that Year One came out of, just the follow ups to that story and versions of the characters. I have this run listed as separate from Year One though, as there's some really big time skips since the events of that first volume. A lot of time has passed since then, and there's more history between the characters, not all of it without drama. This run continues to be weird with the numbering, as well as some artist changes, so I definitely recommend looking into reading this in trade format (physical or digital) if at all possible. My recommended reading order is WW 2016 by Rucka vol. 2 "The Lies" (Wonder Woman: Rebirth Special #1, followed by 2016 main title odd numbered issues 1-11), then Rucka 16 vol. 3 "The Truth" (odds 13-23) then Godwatch (evens 16 through 24) followed by 25? But The Truth and Godwatch combine near the end so that doesn't really work either. This run is so good but recommending it is such a pain because the numbering is so all over the place. On God I never know which order to read this in. Going to revoke my previous statement and say read it as Rebirth Special 1, then only odds 1 through 11, then from 13 through 25 normally. That may lead to some weirdness as you read because the two stories take place at different times and have different art styles, but they come together at the end pretty dramatically so I think it's less confusing to read it this way? Maybe? So strange bc this is one of the go to good starter runs and yet it's set up so unintuitively. If someone has a better way to read this then let me know and ill edit, ik this explanation is super confusing bc neither way to read it is totally ideal imo and I feel I definitely read it in a weird order.

Going to call that a good rundown of some of my greatest recommendations in terms of Wonder Woman comics. If anything wasn't fully clear here or anyone (not just anon) has questions or wants to talk abt WW comics/my choices feel free to send as many asks or dms as you want. Have a good day everybody, & as Diana says, may the glory of Gaea be with you <3

[ganondoodle]

kind of expected that the ability breakdown wouldnt get that much traction (especially on twitter bc if it doesnt do well in the first few hours it might as well be dead) but what i didnt need to wake up to was looking at my twitter notifications and thinking there was a long comment on it at first but then i read it and it turned out to be some guy having dug up one of my old totk tweets where i talked about how zelda was treated-

and if a quote retweet with a thread attached already starts with "this entitled brat didnt understand that zelda was being a history nerd by being in the past and getting to experience it herself" with two screenshots attached of the end of totk with zelda staring at the cam all uwu (which has ??? to do with their point??) i dont even want to know what else was in that thread

if thats how the majority of the fandom is then im even less surprised that nintendy doesnt even have to try to write anything good :I

ah yes, i am a game nerd, and by putting me in a game where i stand around doing puppy dog eyes while being shoved around by NPCs is me being a game nerd OBVIOSULY

[knucklesex]

i know the fandom loves to pretend that xie lian doesn't take care of himself but let's really think about it for a second. he doesn't have a penny to his name, he has no luck, no spiritual powers and no friends and family left in the mortal realm. how exactly should he take care of himself?

he eats food off the floor because it's better than going hungry. that's how many people in poverty live. he doesn't think twice before touching something that might poison him because when you don't receive medical attention for centuries, you're naturally going to adopt an "it is what it is" mentality about your health. he probably didn't get treated by a healer the first few times he got corpse poisoning because he didn't have enough (or any) money to pay them with. he's humble and ignores however which way he's slandered because what can he do? he's heard things like that and worse before.

800 years of poverty will teach anyone humility as well as strip them of it. 800 years of poverty and solitude can make anyone into a complete cynic, an abuser and/or worse.

but xie lian didnt break, not permanently. what jun wu put him through is nothing compared to what the world put him through. tell me this: is jun wu truly the real villain of the story? or is he a micro manifestation of all the other systematic issues in the TGCF universe, wrapped up into a shiny, evil package that's easier to hate, easier to digest and easier to fall for?

know that even though jun wu "set up" the fall of xianle, it was corruption and imperialism that truly brought the kingdom to its knees. know that teen xie lian truly fought for his people, be they patriots or rebels, and that the reason his efforts could never come to fruition was the corruption of the royals and the nobles.

in a world as systematically corrupt as that (much like our own), how easy do you think it would have been for a poor, homeless and friendless man to live a happy, fulfilling life (which he never lived)? and how much easier would it have been for him to gradually give away his morals and principles in favour of a better meal for once, for a better bed for the night? considering his martial skills and vast knowledge of cultivation, would it not have been easy for him to take a path like jun wu himself? like xue yang, even?

and do you think that xie lian did *not* do all these things just because he had "self-sacrificial" tendencies? after centuries of being only a little better than a beggar, do you think the reason he wants to help the common people is because he feels Rich Prince Guilt?

don't you think that the act of preserving oneself here, the act of not sacrificing onself for a cause, is actually whenever xie lian decides to keep following the path of justice, his Third Path? does self preservation only count when it's your body you're preserving, or your material wealth, or your name? surely your own principles matter more. surely you mean more than a fancy title on a tyrant's mouth.

place yourself in xie lian's shoes, and answer this: if you were to go through all that, even if you were to not become a horrible person, would have found and maintained the courage, time and time again, to keep being kind, to keep taking care of yourself, to not become heedlessly reckless, to not become a walking corpse with a noose (ruoye) wrapped around your neck?

in my opinion, xie lian is a hell of a lot positive for a man who's been through so much and never heard a "it's okay, you can rest now" once (until hua cheng came along, at least).

do you think xie lian doesn't feel bitterness towards lang qianqiu, who buried him with a stake through his heart for gods know how many years, because he just... hates himself? or do you think it's because he helped raise lang qianqiu since childhood and earned real respect and admiration from him, after so many years of being spat on, cursed and ultimately turned invisible? do you think he begged to be banished once again only because he felt guilty (although yes, he did feel very guilty) for the terrible fate that befell lqq's family, or because he also genuinely cares about what happens to his people --- he protected the xianle remnants by setting himself up as a cold-hearted murderer, and he protected lqq by refusing to fight him.

do you think that being so old and having seen so much, xie Lian can't tell danger when it's looking him in the eye? he's not stupid. he doesn't neglect his safety until and unless it's to protect someone he cares about. e.g., when he tried his level best to protect shi qingxuan during the Blackwater arc, knowing that he's fighting things and people beyond his control. my point: it didn't matter if he failed. he had to try, just like he tried with his kingdom, and the kingdom that came next. sqx was the first person after hua cheng to befriend and defend him in a long time, and he wanted to show him the same courtesy. can this be reduced to "self-sacrificing" tendencies or "playing the hero", too?

when xie lian stepped out of that bridal sedan, he knew he was playing with fire, but he's not stupid. if he hadn't stepped out, who is to say that crimson rain sought flower wouldn't have entered on his own, or dragged him out forcefully? xie lian isn't a "you only live once, let's make bad decisions" person. xie lian is a "no matter how many lives i live, i will not change" person.