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azrielhours · 2 years

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Shackles and Release

Azriel x Reader

Word count: 6.5k

Synopsis: Enemies to lovers. Reader hired to work on mission w Az against Eris but they get off on the wrong foot despite being attracted to each other. Nightmare + slight Who Did This to You. He hurts her accidentally. He Bandages Her™ lmao. Enjoy!!

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The first time you’d ever heard about Azriel Shadowsinger was through the grapevine at Autumn Court. Whispers about him coming to save Morrigan at the border where she was abandoned by her betrothed, Autumn’s heir. The same male you were now conspiring against with none other than the family who rescued Mor. You were set to meet the Shadowsinger this evening to be debriefed on the mission.

You were in the library, tucked behind a bookshelf reading on the floor when you heard the doors open and two male voices carrying in. “I just don’t see why we need to jeopardize this mission, how can we put so much reliance and faith in someone we don’t know?” The baritone voice was smooth and deep. You froze in apprehension, knowing what a precarious position you were in if you were caught eavesdropping.

Before you could decide whether to make your presence known, the other male responded. “She’s an asset, Az.” Rhys. “She gives us the advantage of having worked on the inside, and Mor says Eris doesn’t know her.” You felt your heart rate increase. The other male was surely the Shadowsinger. You frowned. He doubted you?

“I wouldn’t put it past her to double-cross us.” Your heart dropped. “We shouldn’t have to outsource during missions or breach confidentiality. I could have done this without her.”

“You haven’t even met her, Az. You don’t have to fight every battle on your own, you know.”

“That’s not what this is. I’m just being cautious. It’s dreadful enough having to play nice with the princeling son of a bitch.” The condemning words of the male you hadn’t even met stung sharply in your chest, but you willed yourself to stay silent. Before the males could continue, you heard Feyre call for Rhys; you stayed seated in silence for a long while after both males followed her out of the library to calm down from the revelation at hand, to school your features into neutrality, and to decide to soldier on. Beron needed to be taken down. For Mor, you thought.

For me.

That evening, you were summoned by Rhys to meet Azriel. Taking a deep breath, you pushed down the feelings of hurt. Just make it through the mission, this was never about being his friend. You painted a cool look on your face and approached the two males waiting expectantly in Rhys’s office. Both their full attention was on you, but the Shadowsinger’s gaze was much heavier. Like he was looking right into the core of your being. Like he was the mind reader between the pair. The weight of his gaze made butterflies erupt in your stomach despite the revelation still at the front of your mind; you felt your mouth dry, though not in fear.

Azriel was absolutely beautiful.

Rhys smiled. “Y/n. Mor has told me lots about you. Thank you for agreeing to help us on our mission,” his low voice and calm demeanour humanized him in that moment. “This is Azriel,” he gestured to his brother. Azriel presented a cool, emotionless expression. He didn’t offer a hand to shake, not even a nod. You held his gaze unflinching until he finally looked elsewhere. Rhys went on to explain the plan at hand, which was to isolate Eris and strengthen his relationship with the Night Court as heir against the quietly growing threat posed by The Queens. If Rhys was shocked by your lack of approachability, he didn’t let on. “Right. I’ll leave you to it. I have to go over some reports with Cassian.” Rhys gave you a nod as he left the room which you returned. With the door closed behind him, you had to steel your nerves against the apprehension crawling up your spine. You turned to face Azriel again who had his arms crossed across his broad chest, shadows wisping around him with lethal promise. Of course he would be beautiful, you thought. Only a male this attractive could be so arrogant and dismissive.

“Y/n.”

You suppressed a shiver at that baritone voice. “Azriel.”

He sized you up for another moment, then began at long last. “Mor told me that you know Eris well. Tell me what you can about him.”

“I used to work at the Autumn Court. The servants used to talk about him and his affairs.”

“We’ll be needing more than just servant gossip.”

“It’s not just gossip,” you protested. “It’s also things I’ve seen during that time. How he is with his mother. He was different with her depending on whether Beron was present. Like he was putting on a performance.”

Azriel continued to watch you with that scrutinizing gaze, and you had to resist the urge to squirm. “That doesn’t prove anything.” He shook his head minutely, like he was shocked Rhys believed in you if this was all you had to offer.

“What I’m trying to say is that lots of the females – me included – we believed that his cruelty is all for show. That’s got to mean something, and it’s no coincidence that he’s also heir.”

Azriel didn’t show if he agreed or disagreed. “Why did you leave the Autumn Court anyways?”

You couldn’t hide your shock that time. “It’s… a long story.” You didn’t know what else to say, but you absentmindedly began touching your wrist. Azriel’s gaze shifted to your fidgeting, making you put your hands behind your back. He returned his gaze to your eyes, assessing you. You braced yourself for him to press the issue.

“Fair enough.” Relief replaced the dread, shoulders releasing some tension. He was an entitled, privileged – and frankly, rude – male who clearly thought he was better than you, but at least he dropped the subject. You’d give him that. “The mission is simple. Eris is invited to a Court event later this week, and we need you to act as a Night Court spy alongside me.” He continued explaining the plan, and you nodded along dutifully. “One more thing,” he added as he wrapped up. “We need to go over some basic training exercises. Mor told me you didn’t receive training previously, and it's standard here for personnel hired for Rhys. Be at the ring tomorrow at dawn.”

The next morning, you arrived at the training ring early to ensure Azriel didn’t get the opportunity to question your reliability, donning a leather set left in your room. When Azriel approached the ring, you stood. He didn’t acknowledge your punctuality, he simply nodded to you. That broody expression didn’t falter, neither did his standoffish demeanour.

“Alright. We’re going over basic self-defence, nothing crazy, and then we’ll call it a day.” He sounded about as excited as he looked. “First things first, fix your stance.” You glanced down to where you were stood, then looked back up at him in confusion. “Like this,” Azriel said, putting his left foot forward, legs shoulder length apart, tucking in his chin, and raised his arms in fists. You copied his stance as best as you could, but Azriel clicked his tongue in disapproval. To your shock, he approached you. You remained frozen where you were. He stopped right in front of you, and you had to crane your neck back to see his face. His expression still held some annoyance, but he cleared his throat. “May I.” It took a moment to realize what he was asking, and you nodded in consent. He then circled you, stopping behind you, and you had to suppress a shiver at the feel of his body heat. He nudged your left leg further forward, then placed his fingers gingerly on your shoulders and rotated your upper body slightly to the right. He then gently grasped your elbows from either side of you and raised your arms further. You followed the motion of his corrections despite the blush colouring your cheeks at the proximity.

He returned to his previous position across from you. He went over being aware of one’s surroundings, how to step into a blow, how to block a swing. You went through the motions he demonstrated for the better part of an hour as he watched. You may have imagined it, but you swore he finally gave a grunt in approval that felt far more rewarding than it should have. He finally asked you to begin sparring directly for practice. “Try landing a single hit,” he challenged. You had worked up a sweat by this point, breathing a little harder, but you nodded eagerly and approached him. You swung and weren’t remotely surprised when he easily ducked, nor were you surprised when this went on for the next few attempts. You swung a right hook that he easily ducked, this time also kicking your feet out from beneath you, causing you to land on your ass. He tsked when you scowled up at him. “You can do better than that, can’t you?” Was that amusement you heard in his tone?

“Maybe I would have if I had a better teacher.” You couldn’t believe your ears at your remark as it left your lips. Azriel’s eyebrows rose in identical shock.

“I wouldn’t get mouthy if I were you.”

“You seem to have that effect on females.” Fuck it, you thought. Someone needed to humble this male. And, yes, perhaps it was also resentment prompting you. He didn’t chuckle, but he also didn’t reprimand you. You got back up, swung once again, and Azriel ducked. This time, he pushed you into the momentum of your punch, causing you to topple over again.

“Shit,” you gritted. He was infuriating. Still, you rose again, going for an uppercut. This time, however, Azriel blocked your swing, hitting you right on the inside of your wrist beneath your fist, causing you to gasp. Stinging pain erupted in your wrist, and you grabbed hold of it with your other hand. You froze at the feeling of vulnerability that coursed through you, and you couldn’t help but drop any semblance of cool composure in that moment. Azriel also stopped, noticing the shift in your demeanour, your wide eyes.

“That’s not exactly how you block,” he said, voice marginally softer. He was treading lightly, trying to feel you out. You didn’t respond, feeling a sense of betrayal coursing through you despite how illogical it was to feel that. You didn’t respond. Azriel took another step towards you. “Y/n.”

You let out a sharp exhale. “Wow. I… you’re really that petty, Azriel? You’d resort to deliberately hurting me?” You couldn’t stop the words before they were spoken, breathy and shaky, still clutching your wrist.

Azriel faltered, his brows furrowing in alarm. “What?”

You realized how you were coming off. And in front of the worst person to expose this vulnerability to, you thought. You shook your head, avoided his alarmed gaze, and said, “Sorry. I need to leave. Thank you for the lesson.” Mortifying. You began leaving and he didn’t stop you.

You made it to your room and went to the bathroom to run cold water over your wrist, trying to calm your racing mind. You heard a knock on your door. Shit. You walked over to answer, knowing you’d have to face him eventually anyway. Azriel didn’t immediately enter, but you stepped aside and gestured for him to do so. In your space, he somehow seemed even bigger. You didn’t meet his gaze for a moment, then finally looked up. He still looked alarmed, so you began. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Why would you ever think I’d deliberately hurt you?” he asked, his voice gruffer than before.

“I know you wouldn’t. I’m sorry, I just… have weak wrists, it just caught me off guard.” You knew your response wasn’t nearly convincing enough, but you were too embarrassed to truly explain yourself.

“It was just training. I’d never intentionally hurt you,” he pressed. He still sounded alarmed, and you felt a twinge of guilt.

“You wouldn’t hurt me, but I know you don’t trust me.” The admission came out before you could stop yourself. That was the third time now that you felt words pulled out of you around him. You looked up and found him studying you, a troubled expression furrowing his features.

He exhaled. “It’s not… because of you or anything. It’s just how I operate. Spies I work with are usually selected by and trained under me directly.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at the arrogance. “Don’t project your doubt onto me just because you’ve been privileged enough to make this your occupation.” Your voice was still shakier than before. You waited for him to argue but he didn’t correct you.

He glanced at your wrist once more, then extended a scarred hand towards it. “Let me at least bandage it for you if it’s sprained.” You debated it for a beat. “Come on. This can be our truce. We got off on the wrong foot,” he pressed. You were shocked at the olive branch he was extending but decided to take it. You slowly placed your wrist into his massive hand, and you were pleasantly surprised at how gently he cradled it.

“It’s not sprained. It’s just weak,” you explained as he softly rotated it. He inclined his head to your bathroom, and you let him lead you there. Once inside, he leaned against the counter with you a foot away from his towering frame. He held the edge of your sleeve with both hands and gently pulled it up to reveal disfigured skin there. You felt your cheeks burn and avoided his gaze when he looked at you in silent question. You knew it didn’t need to be bandaged, nor would that help it in any way, but he didn’t stop. He pulled bandages out of the drawers and began skillfully wrapping your wrist in medical tape. You were completely conscious of how close he stood. His hands were incredibly gentle, despite the scars he donned himself, despite their substantially larger size. You didn’t comment on his scars and he didn’t comment on yours; you felt yourself let your guard down at that moment.

When he released your wrist, you rotated it a few times, and he watched your reaction as you couldn’t hide your pleasant shock at the crutch provided by the tape, which decreased the lingering pain. Looking up at him, you felt a change in the room, the tension between you as you took each other in the small space, standing so close. He continued studying you with that intense gaze, something you’d likely have to get used to, and you felt your throat dry. Perhaps you judged him too harshly for being diligent and cautious. “Thank you, Azriel,” you said, breaking his eye contact as heat rose to your cheeks. He nodded but didn’t make a move to step back or leave. Up close, he was even more handsome. Everything about him was piercing. His eyes, his bone structure. Masculinity seeped off him, and yet he had shown you such softness just moments before. You swallowed at the attraction you felt. Perhaps it would be easier if he stayed cold and distant, you thought. It was also unnerving to know his skillset made you more readable to him, and he likely knew where your thoughts went. And yet, there he still was, unmoving.

You made yourself look at him again, and his throat bobbed as he held your gaze. This was dangerous territory. Especially with you having been in such a vulnerable headspace not even moments ago. But you couldn’t deny the change in the atmosphere, how his warm hands tended to your wrist… you let yourself move imperceptibly closer. Just an inch. He remained rooted firmly where he was. He rested his hand on the counter beside both of you, and you mimicked him by placing your hand close to his. Silent invitation. His gaze swept over your features. You tilted your chin slightly, his gaze pausing on your mouth, then went from one eye to the other, back to your mouth… you could’ve sworn he leaned lower by a hair, and then – his head turned sharply to the side, causing you to freeze. His shadows were whispering something inaudible in his ear. He turned back to you. “I have to go. Eris has arrived.” That cool expression returned to his face. He took a step back, and with one final glance your way, he left. Just like in the library, you remained frozen for long after he left. You took deep breaths in and out, clearing your head from the fuzzy haze you felt inside so strongly contrasting the cold, clear emptiness left in his abrupt absence. When you finally calmed down, you left as well.

The next day, you were to begin the mission directly involving Eris. You made your way to the study early to be there before Azriel. To your relief, you found only Mor in the room. She smiled warmly at you, inviting you to come sit. “How are preparations coming along with Azriel?”

You felt your heart skip a beat, memories of that intense moment you shared with him the day before flashing in your mind. “Good.”

Mor laughed. “That bad?”

You smiled at her pleasant nature. So different now was Morrigan, confident and healed, unlike the picture of obedience and quiet resignation you recalled all those years ago in your time working for Beron’s court. “He’s just… well he was colder than I expected at first, but I guess it’s a product of the occupation,” you shrugged. She urged you to continue with a nod. “I’m sorry if this is speaking out of line, but he just seemed like the typical, privileged male.”

Mor’s mouth parted slightly. “I know he’s not the most welcoming person, but I do have to correct you there. He grew up in an environment that was… cruel, let’s say.” Her words were not unkind, though you did feel a cold pit in your stomach. You’d called him privileged to his face. You frowned at Mor’s words. She gave another smile. “It’s okay, I just wanted to give you a better idea that explains his nature so you don’t think it's personal or anything.” You nodded at her words. Mor looked hesitant for a moment but then spoke again. “I also don’t want to speak out of line, but I’ll say what is… more or less commonly known about him. He was hurt quite badly by his family.” Your mind flashed to the brutal scarring on his hands. Mor nodded in confirmation to where she no doubt suspected your mind went. Your heart dropped to your stomach. He was abused, and you’d judged him so harshly. You felt awful. Mor shook her head. “It’s okay, there was no way for you to have known.” That did little to relieve the guilt, though you supposed perhaps in continuation of the olive branch he extended the day before, apologizing would be easy enough to do.

Azriel appeared in the doorway then and informed you that it was time to go see Eris. “He’s early,” is all Azriel said as he led the way. No indication of the tension between the two of you the day before. “Just stick to the approach we went over. I’ll be there the whole time.”

“Azriel,” you placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder to stop his striding as he approached the door. “Before we begin, I want to tell you something…” You trailed off.

Azriel gave you his undivided attention at that moment, brows slightly raised. “Can you tell me after?”

“I – Okay, yes I suppose.”

“Okay. Good.” The edges of his lips tipped up in the first smile – or as close to a smile as this was – since you arrived, so you simply smiled back nervously and took a deep breath as Azriel held the door handle, waiting for you to nod in affirmation. On your nod, you both entered.

“Well, well. Tell me, what is it with you Night Court folks and only appointing attractive females to do your delegating?” The drawl came from Eris who was sprawled comfortably on an armchair, a lazy smirk on his face as he took you in.

Azriel donned his mask of cool indifference again, though he seemed much tenser than you’d ever seen him. Gone was the tender male you saw in your bathroom. “Eris,” Azriel said curtly.

“What’s your name, love?” he addressed you.

You opened your mouth to answer, but Azriel beat you to it. “Her name is Y/n. Keep this professional, Eris. We don’t have time for –”

“Y/n,” Eris cut Azriel off, his eyes still on you. “And I’m assuming you’re a spy for the Shadowsinger?”

“Yes. She’s mine.” Azriel’s voice was still soft but deadly. Your heart gave a stupid lurch.

“Why don’t you let the lady speak?” Eris said as he finally removed his gaze from you and looked at Azriel. You also took Azriel in; he looked calm, but his jaw was more clenched than you’ve seen since you arrived.

“I don’t need your permission either, Eris.” Thankfully, your remark didn’t sound shaky despite your nerves. You drew strength from the Spymaster adjacent to you, matching your mask of indifference to his.

Eris chuckled. “With fire like that, I would’ve guessed you belonged to the Autumn Court.” Your throat dried at the comment. Surely he didn’t suspect you, did he?

Azriel stepped in thankfully. “As if you lot give your females the freedom to be so vocal.”

Eris didn’t falter at the comment. You took the opportunity to bait him as Azriel planned with you before. “Unless of course, it's females being vocal behind the High Lord’s back. Say, for example, his wife and son.”

To his credit, Eris only faltered for a second before regaining his composure. “And how, pray tell,” he drawled, “would you come to suspect such a thing?”

“We’re just warning you as allies to do your part against the queens to ensure that information like that doesn’t reach the wrong High Lord’s ears,” you finished.

Eris’s eyes glimmered for a moment. He stood and sauntered over to you, smiling wickedly. “I wonder if this boldness carries over in other circumstances,” he said, voice dragging. Maybe he was baiting you back, maybe he was just leaning into the mask you’ve seen him put on and take off. “Speaking of which,” he continued, “perhaps you’d like to demonstrate just how free you are to be vocal.” He touched his fingers lightly beneath your chin, tilting your face up.

Before you could react, Azriel shoved Eris back forcefully enough to startle you. The High Lord’s son stumbled back but didn’t fall, and before he could respond, Azriel stalked forward and clutched him by his collars. He spoke with a commanding tone that made you shiver; “Don’t you fucking touch her.”

Eris gave Azriel an audacious smile. “Ah. A new plaything, then? Is that it?”

You had to consciously force yourself not to look alarmed as the scene unfolded. “You’re an insufferable prick, Eris,” you chimed. Azriel slowly released Eris and walked back over to you as if he didn’t just put his hands on Beron’s son. You looked at Azriel whose jaw was visibly clenching and unclenching.

You absentmindedly touched your bandaged wrist, and Azriel tracked the movement. He then turned to Eris once more. “This meeting is over. Go back to your room.” Azriel turned to leave the room before Eris could respond, and you followed him out. Once outside, Azriel didn’t slow down his strides.

“Azriel,” you said hesitantly. He slowed, breathing hard through his nose, not meeting your eyes.

“I didn’t mean to get physical,” he said suddenly.

“It’s okay.” You didn’t know what to say, if you should comfort him or leave him alone. He fully stopped and faced you, still looking bothered. You decided giving him space to cool down was a better choice. “It’s okay,” you repeated, shaking your head slightly. “I’ll just – I’ll see you later.”

When you went to walk by him, he gently grasped your elbow. “Wait,” he said, his voice softer. You paused. “You said you had something to tell me before.”

You met his gaze. “Oh, yes. I wanted to apologize to you.”

His brows knit together. “What for?”

“Well,” you glanced around nervously, unsure how to broach the topic, especially with him in such an intense state. “I talked to Mor earlier, just about how things were going…” He gave you a nod to continue. “I wanted to apologize for calling you privileged earlier. I wasn’t aware that you… that your family, um –” you glanced at his hands for a split second. Before you could continue, you saw the change happen as it unfolded. He removed his hand from your elbow, shoulders tense, and his brows furrowed in an expression that made your stomach run cold. Shit.

“Hold on,” he said taking a step back. “Is this pity?”

Horror coursed through you. This was going so wrong. It came out so wrong. You frantically shook your head. “No. No, that’s not what I –”

“You learn about my past and come to offer me your pity?”

“No, Azriel. I just meant that I misunderstood you.”

“Do I look like some charity project? You think just because we’re working together that you need to know me?”

Though your cheeks burned with shame, you felt anger bubbling up at his coldness. “No, but I guess you’re not used to collaboration, what with you thinking you could’ve done all this without me. That you shouldn’t have to ‘outsource during missions’ and whatnot.”

Shock cut through his quiet anger for a moment at what you revealed. “So you heard me and Rhys that day.”

“You weren’t exactly being subtle for someone worried about confidentiality. I guess it was my mistake trying to understand you better.”

“You’re right. This was never about being friends.” That stung more than you were prepared for, and it likely showed on your face. You crossed your arms across your abdomen, feeling vulnerable.

“I don’t know why I’m even working with you lot. I might as well go back to Autumn with Eris,” you lied.

Azriel scoffed. “If that’s what you want, Princess, be my guest.”

You huffed in frustration. “God, you’re so entitled.”

“And you’re so aggravating.” He kept his body completely still and his voice didn’t raise once. “You know,” he took a step closer; you took a step back. “It’s not too late for you to go run after your little princeling.”

“Maybe I’m just waiting for night to fall,” you retorted. That muscle ticked in his jaw as he glared down at you, and you glared up at him. He took a deep breath through his nose, taking another step closer to you. You took another step back and let out a small gasp as your back hit a wall.

“Good,” he said.

“Good,” you repeated. The burning in his eyes matched the burning you felt inside yourself. You were a fool to think someone as cold as he was would truly be civil.

The intensity of his stare had you faltering for a moment. He was a foot away at this point, his body completely turned to you, both of you breathing audibly. That tension from before crept up on you, electrifying the air once again. You swallowed to suppress the confusion you felt, the anger that contrasted the physical awareness you felt so vividly. “You know,” you began, and it came out softer than you intended. “You’re no more than a self-indulgent male who refuses to grow past your victimhood.”

“Is that so.” His tone matched yours. He raised his arms slowly, slowly. He braced his hands on either side of your waist on the wall behind you. You had to nod instead of verbally responding because the tension was choking you. You both continued to silently stare at each other. His throat bobbed once. “I’m glad you could work all that out in your pretty little head,” he said, his voice so low, so gruff that you felt it course through your belly.

“So am I.”

You felt every instant of that moment, and then just as quick as he had you against the wall, he dropped his arms and walked away.

You tossed and turned for hours that night, uncertain how to face Azriel again after the encounter you had. As regretful as that interaction had been, as cruel as both of you had been to each other, it was underscored by that… craving, that pull that drew you two together. Such a contrast, and yet it also came so naturally. Thoughts of that ebb and flow eventually lulled you to sleep.

Your dreams were of a hazel-eyed male, his brooding, his tenderness. You beckoned for him but couldn’t reach him. You called for his name, but your voice was drowned out by the sound of shackled limbs clanging, the noise growing as the steps advanced your way til it became suffocating; images of a consort with bruises that could be easily covered, her high lord with his tyrannical rule that was less subtle, male anger, abandoning the prison sentence that was Autumn court, and –

You gasped awake. Sweat beading on your forehead, you had to fist your sheets until your heaving calmed down. Nightmares were a common occurrence. You could still feel the lingering aches from your dream, and you touched the phantom pain in your wrists until you were certain nothing was there. You took deep breaths and decided to go distract yourself, lest you fall asleep and fall back into the same nightmare.

You padded quietly through the halls of the House, not knowing where exactly to go. The only residents staying the night were Cassian, Azriel, and – Eris. You halted your steps, having forgotten Eris was here. Unease crawled up your spine. You’d stopped fearing the heir since you began seeing his hidden tenderness with his mother, but with your nightmare still so fresh in your mind, you couldn’t help but shudder at the reminder of your past. You turned around to put physical distance between you and the prince, and for good measure, you headed to Azriel’s room just in case.

You walked until you made it there, then you stopped yourself. What the hell am I doing? This was the last place to go. In fact, if he sees you here, there’s a very high chance he’ll think you did seek out Eris like you said. That thought had you turning around just as quickly as you came. You decided the kitchen was a safe zone to calm down and get your head on right since it clearly wasn’t all currently there.

In the kitchen, you braced your hands on the counter and took deep breaths to ground yourself., until you heard a throat being cleared behind you, which had you turning around. Azriel stood in the doorway taking you in. Neither of you said anything for a moment until you spoke. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

Azriel looked at you for another beat before shaking his head once. “No, I couldn’t sleep.”

“How’d you know I was here?”

“My shadows.” They wove around his hands as if in emphasis. “They told me the second you left your room.”

“Ah.” You shifted your weight between your legs and played with the hem of your sleeve under his gaze. When you looked up again, he was still studying you, that chronic intensity enduring.

“Why didn’t you knock?” He asked suddenly.

“What?”

“When you came to my room. Why didn’t you knock?”

You blinked, dumbfounded. “I don’t know,” you said softly. A sense of exposure from the nightmare spread through your abdomen. There would be little to no hiding behind any bravado this time around, and at this point, you were too worn out to try.

“You’re shaking,” he said quietly. You glanced down, and sure enough, there was a slight tremor in your fingers. “I’m sorry. About earlier.” That had you glancing back up at him. He finally entered the threshold of the kitchen.

“Is this pity?” you joked, offering a small smile in truce. He didn’t return the smile, still looking concerned.

“I’m sorry for lashing out at Eris, and for getting angry at you after. I was just… never mind.” He broke your eye contact, shaking his head a bit.

“Tell me,” you whispered hoarsely.

Azriel looked at you in silence before speaking. “I was mad at the idea that you could want Eris.”

Your brows turned upward in shock and snorted lightly. “Are you out of your mind?” Azriel didn’t respond. “Azriel.”

He shook his head again. Then he walked towards you. He grasped both of your wrists in each of his hands with such gentleness that it made your chest ache. He pulled you to the table and guided you to sit in one of the seats, so you did. Then he turned away, putting a kettle on the stove.

“What are you doing?”

“Making you some tea,” he said. You watched in silence as he worked, admiring the way he moved so gracefully even at night, even when he’d likely just been woken up as you suspected, despite what he claimed.

Once he was done, he brought two mugs to the table and sat across from you. You thanked him and took yours in unsteady hands. “You had a nightmare.” You nodded in confirmation. He didn’t pry or suggest that you speak, likely because you looked as distraught as you felt inside. “You did really well today, you know.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “The authority and the timing were well done. We could still make a spy out of you yet.”

You gave a small smile. “I’ll only take you up on that if we have trust between each other.”

He looked at you. Then he cleared his throat. “What Mor told you was true… about my family hurting me.” He clenched and unclenched his fingers, looking down as he spoke. “It was my own brothers that hurt me. They burned my hands.” Your throat dried, and he met your gaze again. You dared to reach out and grasp his hand. He maintained eye contact, and finally squeezed your fingers.

Touched by him opening up to you, you decided you’d use the given space and time between the two of you to reciprocate the sentiment; the kind of honesty and faith that came easier at night. “When I worked at Autumn, they caught me doing extra favours for Mor than I was allowed. I snuck meals into her room so she could avoid having them with Eris, warned her of his schedule so she could try to avoid him, lots of things. Some courtiers figured this out and reported me to Beron. They put shackles on my wrists as part of my punishment. It made washing dishes and basic movement very painful.” You rolled up your sleeves to show him the scars he’d already seen. “I have nightmares about the punishment, the confrontation with Beron, the fear I felt working there anyways.” You glanced at Azriel. He was tense with anger despite his silence as he listened.

“That’s why you left,” he said finally. You nodded. “You don’t plan on going back, do you?”

“Not since committing treason.” You smiled, feeling lighter. He barked a laugh.

“Perfect,” he said.

“Perfect,” you repeated. His eyes twinkled, chuckling as the heaviness from your confessions was released. “I might have to look into permanent hiring.”

“I know a guy.” You laughed easily now.

“That’s a lot of honesty for a Spymaster,” you teased.

“One for one,” he grinned deeply.

“Alright. Let me hear another.”

He still had that glint in his eyes, but his smile faded a bit. “You are wildly beautiful.” You felt your eyes widen and cheeks flush. His smile returned at your reaction. “I thought it from the start.” He swallowed once and nodded at you. “Your turn.”

You cleared your throat. “You are disturbingly and insufferably attractive. It’s making me feel insane.” He laughed again, and it was a sound you never wanted to stop hearing.

Your hand still held his, and you ran your thumb lightly over one of the raised scars. A declaration of your oneness in that moment. The release of your past, of your pains. He didn’t stop you. His eyes tracked the movement, and when he looked up at you again, that wild focus reappeared. The hunger. You swallowed, still unused to his unyielding intensity. “Let me walk you to your room.”

He stood, and you held his gaze as you stood as well, hand in hand. He led you to your room, both of his hands behind his back holding one of yours. With every step down the halls, you felt warmer and warmer in your lower stomach. As if every step forward had the two of you wading into thicker air, where the tension was slowly swallowing you two whole. Him holding your hand and guiding you in the dark felt as intimate as when you bore your past to him in the wake of your raw vulnerability. Yet, instead of fear, all you felt was trust.

Once you made it to your door, he turned to face you, and you craned your neck to look up at him in the dark. You felt your heart rate increase. That ebb and flow between the two of you made itself known again, like a conversation between your spirits. Neither of you made any attempt to break contact. You tugged down on his hand, pulling him down to you, and he didn’t hesitate to deliver what you wished. He bent down immediately and kissed you with all the fervour you felt inside that had been brewing for the past few days. He kissed you with the same intensity that you regularly felt in his gaze, one that you could always count on finding. He removed his hand from yours to put both his hands on your head, thumbs beneath your jaw as he tipped your head further upwards to kiss you deeper. You couldn’t help the gasp you let out at the force, and you drank up every drop of what he gave.

When he broke away from the kiss, you felt drunk. You finally opened your eyes, both of you breathing hard. He looked at you in silent question. You nodded. “Yes.” He grabbed the door handle to your room behind you, turned it on your nod as you began walking in backwards. “Yes.” You grabbed his hands in both of yours and pulled him inside. Yes. Azriel took one giant stride towards you and hauled you into his arms with alarming ease.

“You’re mine,” he said.

“Good.”

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diazsdimples · 6 months

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Inspiration Saturday!!

I did a bad thing and started a new fic, which will be known as the Musician AU. Basically, Eddie, Hen & Chim are all players in the L.A Philharmonic, Bobby is the conductor, and Buck joins them for one concert as a new hot shot cello soloist. Eddie immediately falls head over heels for the man and him and Buck fuck nasty in many many backstage rooms. This is gonna be a long snippet sorry, I'm scared it's too niche lmao

Tagged by @callmenewbie @wildlife4life @loserdiaz @thewolvesof1998, thank you guys!

Eddie gets to his chair and takes a moment to fully appreciate that it’s his. He’s not played first horn for a while, let alone while being the principal, and he’s pretty hyped. He takes a moment to unpack his horn, slotting the slides carefully into place and pressing the valves up and down to make sure they don’t need any grease. He’s so focused on it that he doesn’t hear Hen sneaking up to his side, clarinet in hand, and almost jumps out of his skin when she speaks.

“So, have you seen our new soloist yet?” she asks, leaning casually against his music stand and Eddie lets out a startled yelp.

“Not yet” he responds once his heart rate has gone back to normal.

Hen picks at something in her teeth. “Apparently, he’s very good, Tracy and Jeff can’t stop talking about him. It’s getting on my nerves”.

“Makes sense that he’s good, you don’t solo with the L.A Phil if you’re shit” Eddie jokes and Hen sends him a flat look.

“You know what I mean” she responds dryly. “Was the youngest in his class at Juilliard and did a stint playing in New Zealand with the NZSO before moving back to New York and playing with the New York Phil”.

Eddie can’t help but be impressed; the New York Philharmonic isn’t easy to get into and from what he’s heard, the NZSO are no slouches either. “He must be alright then”.

“You talking about Wonder-Boy Buckley? More than alright from what I hear”. Chimney is slouching towards them, weaving his way through the chairs and music stands from where he usually sits as principal trumpet. “Cathy says he’s hot. You’d better not let him distract you, Eddie”.

Eddie rolls his eyes playfully at Chimney as he sets his music out on the stand. “I have excellent impulse control, thank you. Haven’t had a random hookup in almost a year, even though Joel’s been repeatedly trying to jump my bones”.

“He does that with everyone, don’t feel special” Chimney replies, and he pats Eddie on the back.

“Why do they call him Wonder-Boy Buckley by the way?” Eddie asks. “Buckley’s a weird name, isn’t it?”

“Buckley is his surname; his first name is Evan” Hen explains while Chimney blows into his trumpet to warm it up. “And he’s Wonder-Boy because he’s so young and hot”

Eddie scoffs at this. Wonder-Boy Buckley sounds like a bit of a prick, honestly.

“Ready for your big moment? First movement of the concerto has a pretty big horn solo, and Bobby is expecting big things from you”. Chimney is looking at him with big eyes and if Eddie didn’t know him better, he’d think the guy was actually concerned.

Eddie won’t lie, he is pretty nervous about it. The cello solo and the horn have a few moments in the piece where it’s just them playing and it’s damn high and fucking difficult. Eddie’s done it in concert before, but that was with a much more minor orchestra and not in front of an audience of 2000+ people. However, Chimney and Hen under no circumstances are allowed to know he’s nervous so he shrugs nonchalantly and says, “yeah, I’ve been practicing it loads and think I’ve got it all sorted. Unless the soloist is truly as hot as you say, I’m pretty sure nothing will throw me”.

It seems the gods are listening to Eddie and laughing at him, because at that very moment, an extremely attractive young man walks into the auditorium with a cello strapped to his back and all Eddie can think is fuck, he’s really fucking hot.

“Oh look, there he is” Chimney says, perking up and Hen’s eyes flit across the auditorium, coming to rest on the man and her jaw drops.

“Holy shit, he’s hot. And I like girls”

“How’s our resident dick-expert doing” Chimney nudges Eddie teasingly and Eddie’s currently making a conscious effort not to drool.

“Yeah he’s – uh – he’s not bad”.

Not bad? Eddie is convinced this is the hottest man he’s ever seen in his life. His muscles bulge as he swings the cello case off his back and sets it on the ground and he flicks his head up to talk to Bobby, his blond curls flouncing delightfully as he does so. Even from here, Eddie can see how his eyes are a piercing blue and he can’t help but notice the way they crinkle as he smiles at Bobby, flashing a set of perfect, white teeth. He’s got some sort of mark around his eyebrow, maybe a piercing? Eddie can’t quite tell from this distance but man, it’s got him feeling things he hasn’t felt in a long time.

Hen and Chimney are sharing a knowing look and Eddie firmly ignores them, instead picking up his horn and beginning to blow some warm air into it. Terry, Amy, Sophie and Grant, his fellow horn players, have all turned up and are setting up, striking up idle conversation with one another as they wait for Bobby to give the order to tune up and start practicing. Hen pats Eddie on the back before returning to her chair and Chimney wiggles his eyebrows as he retreats, flicking his tongue around his mouthpiece suggestively.

(No pressure) tagging @theotherbuckley @eddiebabygirldiaz @wikiangela @fionaswhvre @smilingbuckley @fortheloveofbuddie @fruitandbubbles @watchyourbuck @incorrect9-1-1 @knightlywonders @housewifebuck @monsterrae1 @evanbegins @cal-daisies-and-briars @thosetwofirefighters @disasterbuckdiaz @spagheddiediaz @malewifediaz @shitouttabuck @jeeyuns

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loveandleases · 8 months

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i have this headcanon now that my Kara Simp mc is actually discovering she’s a lesbian -

(never was sexually intimate with chris which i think also adds a layer of self hatred like “oh is that why he cheated..” which then becomes “ah…i’m just not attracted to him. LMAO” also explains the weird itch she’d get under her skin whenever she ran into Kara at gatherings)

and i’ve thought of the scenario of Kara helping femme!mc with makeup in the iconic meme position and how my mc’s newly discovered lesbianism would just cause her to be horny gripping the couch or bed underneath her so she doesn’t jusy start begging Kara to touch her. she just prays Kara doesn’t feel her breath stuttering or the quiet moans when Kara readjusts her position.

Kara is just 💕. It's nice to see that people are going to use the past relationship with Chris/ability to be intimate with or not, to help build their story. I feel for your MC because Kara would take utmost care when applying makeup to them. She would be sitting there for a long while.

(with the correct flag thanks anon!)

#loveandleases #love and leases #kara #she is beauty she is grace she wants to sit on your face

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blackfilmmakers · 8 months

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i'm super late to the astv discussions, but i wanted to add that peter ramsey was only directly involved in itsv as one of the directors. he's only the exec producer for astv and btsv which is just a fancy title and the writers for astv and btsv wrote for the voltron series, so like it's NOT looking good lmao. peter ramsey is a black man and he GETS it and he honestly was the key itsv was and still is so good!

it also explains why astv doesn't have the same beats as the first one and feels less cohesive and more disjointed. i think the writers and current directors do not have the nuance to write miles' (and the other spideys of color) properly. gwen getting the first what 20 minutes of the film and probably more character development than miles in his OWN story is proof of that. and honestly gwennie deserves her own post bc i got feelings about that girl and why she and peter b. are perfect examples of how yt (and non-black) fandom as a whole continually center yt characters to propel their narratives while characters of color are either sidelined, mistreated, one-note, or susceptible to racist stereotypes

also, i think one of the directors stated that he openly hated miguel and used him in the film as a means to make fun of him and like miguel in the comics is white passing (half mexican / half irish), so saying this about a now visibly latino man I C K.

this series should've been peter ramsey's project and have up and coming black directors / directors of color really bring a new breath to further the spiderverse franchise. i keep thinking about how much work and love jordan peele, boots riley, nikyatu jusu, RYAN COOGLER, etc have put into their works. i'm not saying that yt writers / directors shouldn't make stories about characters of color, but they need to put in the work and make it a collaboration with the ppl who are these characters.

like i'm just tired bc black nerds / fans can never have true escapism in media and when we do it's barely supported and regaled as it should be. i love miles, like that's my boy fr! spider powers are so cool so seeing characters that look like me have them was supposed to be something i can truly get lost in, but honestly can't :/

i feel similar about wakanda forever and wakanda being in the mcu, but that's a different issue since ryan and his team still committed to making something i can still at the very least enjoy.

🤎

Something definitely changed in the writers’ room here, because this movie’s message went into a whole other direction(s) from where we left off of ITSV

Miles and Gwen’s relationship in the first movie was at best a mild one-sided attraction. So how’d we get from that to now all of a sudden they are constantly in each other’s minds? They had to stretch this belief that Miles and Gwen’s relationship was so unique and important that we ignore everyone else crucial to Miles’ character.

I get Ganke is practically MCU’s Peter’s best friend, but they could’ve involved him more. All this talk of how Miles feels alone, when the guy he told his secret to(to ease that load) is right there

It doesn’t help Voltron writers were also involved in the project, and from the looks of it a significant portion of the story

Also wtf is with the Miguel bit I never heard of that. I wouldn’t be surprised, but I’m curious where thwt information came from

#atsv #but yeah #movie could’ve been so much more than this had they stuck with writers that know these characters

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rewordthis · 1 month

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Watching Bucchigiri?! and waiting for the last episode to air can be conflicting.

Do I want it to end or do I hope for a second season for some more explanations (highly unlikely btw)? Do I let it go, because from the get go it was an incoherent attempt from the producers to connect dots randomly put on the paper? Or do I stay for the music, some cool characters (ok 2— but still) and the ‘what may be’? Genuinely asking here...

Arajin, as an antihero-type (more like pathetic) mc sure isn’t the first one I’ve seen, but good god he’s the stupidest!

He’s so blissfully blind and singleminded that to be honest, I see what Senya felt attracting him and possessed him. lmao Even he mentions that this is the way of life and a innate trait of those aspiring to become honkibito; to singlemindedly pursue their goal: to become honki.

Notice how it is shown, that the crypt in the temple opens the same time that Arajin rehearses his introduction for his female classmates in his new school. Peak confidence moment for him, if you ask me! 🤭

Following that logic, of genies being attracted to specific traits of their vessels, the bullet hit Arajin because Senya had chosen him. He actually says first thing when he sees him: “またはずれか” aka: “another miss?”, which means that he’s already tried to posses people many times before.

But, I want to point out some things that are showing through in the series, and this is going to be one long-ass and winding post, so buckle up I guess, if you dare to read further down below the cut!

◆ As for those of you that have a short fuse and still opened this, I’ll be kind and tell you that you can skip to the last paragraph (green colour) for what my expectations are for the final episode. Cheers~

◆ So here we go:

1. Honkibito: 本気人 or マジン (majin) as Senya says and Usagi-san has already very coherently explained here, are spirits that are free to posses whoever they feel more attracted to or consider strong enough for their goals and can equally, easily abandon anyone that doesn’t have it in him. It: is the overpowering desire/will (nozomi) that one holds in his heart. Also, in my boop-induced stupor, I commented on a post, that honki may have been a word play for stars, seeing how the theme is 1000+1 nights and Senya’s symbol is the sun while Ichiya’s is the moon, but love, I am not sure when my moments happen correctly… I was just thinking that 本(hon) can invoke a recall on 本能(honou) instinct -> 炎(hono) flames -> 星(hoshi) stars (because they burn) -> 欲しい(hoshi-i) desire (this is completely inaccurate though, in terms of how the actual pronunciations are and the kanjis… I’m sure the kanjis don’t stem from the same sources either) and I also, actually thought that 本鬼 or 本生 could be other ways to write it. Because 本鬼 could be read as honki: real/wood demon (Akutaro refers to Senya as oni (demon)): and in the Chinese astrology there’s the demon star (7killings and represents the warrior — though it represents the wrong way of using power) and I mostly based what I said about stars on the thought that, what if it means it falls under a wood master since wood grows tall to reach the sky and they fight to reach their higher/true selves? Because aspiring to reach your higher state is like aspiring to get a seat on the sky, appointed by Zeus(!) and that meant you had to die in battle as a true warrior for that to happen (also the spirit probably needs to be free and not “sealed”, too) — hence why they turned into genies instead. (Still new to Chinese astrology here though, and honestly very fucking confused… 😵‍💫 Sorry… ) But there is actually, arcane knowledge about how someone could become a Hero in ancient times which was happening during time intervals in correspondence with the zodiac cycle, however one had to be initiated through a ceremony; one such being The Eleusinian Mysteries. And 本生, can it be read as honki, too (huge stretch here. Help!)? Because that may apply to the spartan/straight-way of life the warriors live, but apparently there’s also a famous buddhist work that is titled Jataka Tales, which I had no clue until now, when I tried to search the kanjis... Ok. I think I exhausted my stupidity quota with this one, I should be studying a lot more consistently than just brain-dumping everything in a mixer and expect a smoothy later. Haha 😅

2. Senya and Ichiya were once humans. And by the time they were killed they were very much vulnerable and well, human and killable. Ichiya, especially was very much in anger at that time without managing to solve the issue he had with Senya…

3. They were sealed (Senya’s words) when they were killed after the wars had ended. (Poor guys did their mission and didn’t get to play after… 🥺) This actually leads me to believe that their souls ie: spirit (気) was bound by a spell to not the bullet (because how else was Arajin able to reshoot himself? the bullet never gets lost or the pistol refilled…), but rather the crystals on the pistols. Each one was killed by only one pistol with their corresponding colour on its crystals. By the way, it is said that crystals can be bearers of supernatural powers or cages of spirits, because of their close relation to the earth and therefore all the energies that run through her. If you have seen anything from Jujutsu Kaisen, these pistols are what is considered a “cursed object” practically.

4. The fact that nobody can see Senya or Ichiya (they can’t even see each other, please! 😫), unless they touch the bullet makes me think that their spirit gets projected into the material world through there but it’s otherwise only seen by their vessel because they are part of its aura. Also, I don’t think ichiya ever really possessed Akutaro because he probably didn’t shoot himself. I mean, we don’t see him having a bullet on him, ever. And if he did have, he would have been alarmed by Ichiya asking him to put the pistol in Matakara’s hands and shoot himself, no? Sir, I think Ichiya only rode him until he could find Matakara, but I’m not sure how. 🧐 Maybe the black spirit was how he possessed him. Or maybe not. Also, maybe because Ichiya wanted to leave but couldn’t until someone he wanted more would use the gun (and Akutaro wasn’t dying atm) he just stayed to search for someone strong. Ichiya has been out at least half a year before Senya found Arajin. Upon finding out about Senya he can feel the clock ticking. And he sure didn’t know about Senya’s state until Arajin punched Akutaro. He realised that this was his chance! He was also pressed, to force Matakara into using the gun because he’d never do it on his own…. And Ichiya really wants to fight Senya… And maybe genies are able to stay as long as either of them wants to merge… I mean, both Senya and Ichiya tried to leave mid-fight to let their vessels die during it or to force them make up their minds maybe, but somehow they were both still connected to them and stick around because they wanted for their vessels to make a resolution in their heart and use their power. Arajin didn’t want Senya but Senya wanted him, so he stayed until Arajin literally felt betrayed by him. I think Senya was able to leave the whole time, he just chose to stay. He was amazed that Arajin was even able to initiate a merge all by himself. He’s one special idiot, if you ask me. But after finding out what merging meant, there was no point in staying with someone that didn’t trust him anymore… 😕

5. Why did I mention aura earlier, though? How is it into play here? Because Matakara could see Ichiya’s darkness lurking in the temple ever since he was a little kid. And I’m steadfast on my belief that this darkness stems from Ichiya, because not only was it on his side in the panel picture but it also seemed to form a writing of his name when it settled…. But, back to the point. Why could Matakara see it? Could his brother see it, too? Well, I’m not sure about Mitsukuni, because he didn’t seem to notice it, but Matakara could definitely see it. It’s because he has a pure soul. There’s honestly nothing better — and worse at the same time — than someone having a 100% pure soul. They are kind, bright and a treasure (ironic — I know…) to those around them, but darling, they are hell broken loose when they get a change of heart and play for the other team. Matakara’s pure, kind side is a lot like Makoto’s from Free! but at the same time I get many Keisuke/Kurosuke vibes from him! (I mean, I still have beef with NitroChi for never releasing official birthdays for that vn! 😤 I always feared that Keisuke could be a Libra, but he’s far more likely to be an Aries at this point.) I also had flashbacks at how Marito called Matakara Arajin’s dog, of how Kurosuke was mad at Akira because he thought he treated him like a dog! 😭 As n said: “stagnant water gets dirty and can’t return to its original state again…’. Dear god! This must be one of the most beautiful allegories I have seen in anime, if not in general. Water cleanses, is the source of life, but when it pools it gets dirty and dangerous… It’s how powerful a weapon true purity can turn out to be… (Stray thought, btw, but why do you think angels are portrayed as ferocious warrior beings but are still the most pure, huh?)

6. Also, Matakara’s birthday is a day that signifies constant change in the person’s life. It’s frustrating that these individuals are supposed to realise later in their life how the family they originated from hadn’t really helped them at all at evolving or how they need to make ‘amends’ of sorts with their mom especially, to feel comfortable to forge bonds. Yeah… I don’t think so, darling. They are considered saviours of some sort, which in turn puts pressure on them, but in a good way. What triggered me the most reading this, is that they are loners in their core and only consider like one or two people ‘theirs’. Anyone noticed how he only calls Mitsukuni, nii-chan or Arajin, Ara-chan and how fixated he is on ‘saving’ Ken-san for last? Anyone? I’m accepting offers! It’s because these are the two most important people in his life. They are his bonds. His only, truly, fully acknowledged bonds! Kenichiro, is only tangentially important to him, because he was the only one that was second to his brother. Nothing more. So, very sorry for those who got upset when he told Zabu that he doesn’t really know him, because he absolutely meant it. It’s the truest thing in the whole freaking series. There is this darkness that Ichiya latched onto, which honestly must be SO deep, that it makes me feel powerless knowing there are people out there who do feel like this… He knows full well, that no one of his “buddies” knows how deep this darkness runs — they can’t even begin to imagine there is darkness in him to begin with — he doesn’t really even know how deep, himself. He felt oppressed for keeping it under wraps all this time, because it first got out when his brother went to juvy, and that was just him lashing out, mind you. Now he has a magical being telling him that he needs to be this way— he needs to turn into a monster himself and embrace this darkness to become truly strong. He won’t get over it until he realises that nothing is his fault and everything changes because that’s just how life is supposed to be.

7. Here I want to speak about that shadow/darkness that follows Ichiya, that from the beginning I honestly though it to be his “human despairs” that he had tried to get rid off; but for someone to separate and reject parts of their soul can produce incredible frustrations and pain that can result in those energies manifesting in a separate entity of sorts but which is still fed by the broken counterpart, so it stuck close after his death. I genuinely believe this fraction of his soul is still on the loose because he didn’t want to acknowledge it and that he’s not whole even as a spirit. But it’s also possible as it was pointed out, that it is an entirely different entity that possesses him, I still, beg to differ though…

8. I have a huge fear that Mitsukuni was a Libra. Libras and Aries are opposing signs and energies. No matter how good a relationship they had or how much Matakara admired and loved his brother, he’s bound to feel frustration around him. Because Libras can be exhibited as extremely righteous, which to be fair is highly subjective; I’d probably categorise them into the self-righteous bunch. Imagine an Aries now having to live up to these standards. Fucking hell… Not to mention that feeling this way, can also make someone feeling like they are being ungrateful towards the Libra person who showers them with attention and tries to spoil them by doing as many favours to them— even favours they didn’t ask for… 😒 This is an incredibly tentative power balance that can tip over super fast super easily. 😬 In one word: HELL.

9. I also just remembered how there’s a huge difference in how Senya and Arajin are activating their merge to the way Ichiya and Matakara do. As I mentioned above, Arajin is the one reluctant to merge but ends up being the one asking Senya and even activating it on his own during the time he faces Akutaro; he is the one with the overpowering will in their merge. Matakara on the other hand is accepting Ichiya inside him and surrenders his body to him, completely relinquishing and entrusting his everything to him, making himself to be the one with the weaker will despite how he naturally is before Ichiya possessing him.

Just look at him here, how he takes Ichiya in him: eyes closed and stance wide open…

Again, completely giving himself over to Ichiya and in a sense, self-sacrificing in order to find the strength he’s so desperately wishing for. Oh my gosh, he’s such a beautiful character… *I hate them producers* (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

10. Now that I remembered this, his blood type is O. In Japan most politicians or company directors etc, are people with blood type O and so they are also considered “the leader”… just so you know. 😑

11. Also, also! I haven’t really understood the reason the genies ask for “what is your wish” in this anime in particular, because it’s not like their going to make it happen, but it probably is required in order to establish a connection to the soul and the desire of their chosen fighter. I mean, how can you connect and even “merge” with someone, unless you know what their heart truly yearns for?

12. One more thing. Along with Arajin being themed by chinese tradition, there are other elements throughout the series, like some of the character names and even at how they arrange time. For example, Matakara asks Ken-san to meet him at “the hour of the rooster”, which is about 17:00 - 19:00.

◆ Change of heart; change of… clothes: What is the significance of Matakara being designed to have a hoodie? It must be convenient for someone his size. Hm.

I believe that being interested in fighting as a “sport” or a “self-defining” means (as is the case here) is extremely unlikely one would make such a choice in real life. How so? Because wearing chains, piercings, hoodies and generally having loose items on your person, could prove a weapon or a leverage in your opponent’s hands and be used against you during the fight (sort of when being a goalkeeper and shooting the ball to your own nets kinda thing…). So in a way that, unconsciously, makes those characters look far more assured on their strength. Besides Matakara, other known characters that habitually wear hoodies despite their involvement in close combat are Akira (TnC) and Yuuji (JJK), who are also considered exceptionally strong and they also know it. One other example in the series that stands out, is Marito. The chains and piercings he’s wearing are all a means to say he’s got nothing to expect from those facing him. There may be that there’s just enough respect among those fighting that they wouldn’t resort to such tactics, but then again, Matakara did throw dirt in his eyes when he became desperate, so this is just to say that Marito is insanely strong and also insanely assured about himself— if not just plainly insane. In other words, the design is such that evokes characters with confidence and awareness of the gap that separates them from their peers, something to which it can be ascribed the why and how Matakara tries to be fair during fights up until Ichiya enters him.

Now, I’m sure it’s quite noticeable how Matakara’s light blue hoodie and white undershirt has given its place to a dark navy blue one with a black undershirt. This is because “darkness” is the theme metaphor here. Ichiya said when he transferred to Matakara that Matakara has a deep darkness in him to which he could fit in more better. That was what Ichiya was drawn to— like how Senya was to Arajin. Also, I’m pretty confident that Ichiya had his eyes on Matakara ever since he was a child and could see the “monster”… I also think, that the way Senya thought this to be a sign when he found out about Arajin and Matakara training as kids to become honki, is an indication of the genies being drawn to souls with this desire. Matakara, to be sure, also never left the town and kept visiting the honki temple, which means Ichiya could probably “sense” that original darkness he was drawn, evolving. He rode Akutaro when he had the chance, to manage and get out to look for that darkness. I kind of think, that maybe this has to do with the fact that spirits cannot be seen or be able to see since they don’t have eyes. Spirits are energies that you can feel, however. In that same vain, Ichiya must have recognised Matakara’s darkness during the gang war and was finally able to see for himself how really strong the kid was. The fact that he was able to strategically draw him out while using Akutaro’s grudge against Kenichiro was a very pleasant moment of success for him, I’m sure…

Matakara as Ichiya keeps urging him to do, has to “throw away his weak (kind) heart” to become truly strong. There is an underlying point to this as well… One where he is currently learning to be more proud of himself, therefore exposing the bullet on his chest. It’s not a dark secret. It’s something he’s embracing and honestly in Matakara’s case, I’m happy he does. The most important thing for me though, has to be the location of the bullet. It’s smack right in the middle of his chest. Close to his heart. And therefore very strongly and deeply rooted in the one place he is stronger (or weaker, depends on how you perceive this). Matakara’s pure heart has center and spotlight. Unfortunately, this very same heart is being broken time and again and that is his biggest frustration. This is why he was wearing an undershirt that was covering his chest before. Because his darkness is in his heart. It’s where he feels weaker, unsure of himself, where the genie can patch a hole in his host’s soul. Does he have an inferiority complex? Most probably. Does he blame that on others? No. Not even Arajin. All he wants, is to become stronger. Strong enough to beat the monster. It’s not even a monster in my opinion — it’s misplaced frustrations that got too strong and got a life of their own (note 7 above).

Also, darkness: apex predators are blending in and lurking in the shadows, hidden away until they spot their prey. Then they make their move, kill, and leave. Does that behaviour remind you someone? Yes, it does. It’s how Matakara has started facing his opponents. “Again”, as Zabu comments. He goes up and challenges them out of the blue, plants them into the ground and then just walks away… 🥺

The really hard part though, is how he had to beat Zabu, because he clearly didn’t want to as is shown in the scene before Zabu catching his leg to stop him, where he doesn’t look at him as he lies on the ground; he just knew he had to overcome his “softness” and actually beat to death someone that was a “companion” to him in order to not falter in his pursue of “himself”. This kid is fighting to find his place not just in the world around him, but in the world within him. He’s always looked into the world without being able to point where he fitted in and once Ichiya challenged this (“friends are for the weak”), he was forced to go against his instinct of fitting in and forging bonds and move into a state of standing for himself. When Ichiya said that “the thing you lack is anger”, so he could initiate a merging process and urging him to lose himself in his anger, wasn’t to say that Matakara just needed to be angry at everyone, but more likely that he had to acknowledge his frustration and be able to draw out a real desire in him to fight not just for the sake of fighting and being accepted but for him to finally stand up for himself, for what he wants— how he should not be feeling guilty for who he is, because let me tell you, he feels so fucking guilty for himself. For being weak. For being a burden. For being angry at himself for never being ENOUGH! He needs to be blinded to be efficient, so the fact that anger is what can trigger this blindness is needed for him to not think and hold back anymore. And the fact that he’s so kind means that he’s never held a grudge. He never felt entitled to get angry at someone. He always, always wanted for things to be peaceful. Super ironic if you know anything about Aries. He’s literally the odd one in the bunch. But pure Aries really don’t hold grudges; they boil and fight and forget about it on the spot. For his birthday especially, there’s a tendency to ignore rules and have issues with authority (looking at Ken-san 👀) but generally being the warrior type individuals, that are seen as the heroes of the group. Kid never had the chance to built self-esteem, though or a defence mechanism. And this acceptance of his darker parts is actually a very important foundation that he’s laying out for himself to learn that some times change is inevitable. Darkness is inevitable. Negative emotions and shitty situations are part of being alive and it’s absolutely valid to feel bad and frustrated and to want more… And that (accepting his darkness) it will make him stronger. “But he’ll be unable to live with himself afterwards”, you’ll say… Yes, he will be tortured afterwards for what he did. He will bitterly regret beating Zabu and anyone the way he did, but he will have proof that he’s not weak. He’s not a burden. He’s not less!

★ I also keep seeing people talking about how the series refer to idolisation and honestly, I don’t think that’s the case at all.

Idolising someone means that you have put them on a pedestal and consider them far out of your reach and eventually give up on trying to reach those individuals. And that it’s simply not what’s happening with Matakara.

Now, if we’re talking about Mahoro, sure; she even refers to Marito as “god” and has an extremely unhealthy obsession with him to the point where he even has to treat her like a pest to push her away— even though I’m sure he loves his little sister; I mean, who’s brave enough and eats that horror of a bento if they don’t love their sibling who prepared it for them? Especially if they have the chance to throw it out without anyone seeing them??? 😨

★But with Matakara it’s a different story. His whole negativity and frustration doesn’t come from idolising Arajin. I mean he does look up to him but he’s not thinking of him being out of his reach. He just thinks that he’s the weak one of the two.

We see him actively (aggressively, more like it) trying to become stronger. We see him aspiring to reach Ara-chan.

Trying to get close and live up to his brother’s legacy, who was even considered a living legend among these yankies (and now I want you to try and imagine having to grow up next to a literal demi-god (look point 8 above) among common mortals, I seriously want you to imagine the pain and frustration of never measuring up to them for a moment here… because you see them in their everyday; how they move and hurt and live and breathe into this world… and you still can’t be like them… imagine the inhibitions and doubt this plants into someone’s psyche…) and now that he’s dead, Matakara will never be able to reach him no matter how he tries, because bro has ascended without him, before he ever tried to fight him even as a joke. There is a recurrent theme through the series that you become stronger and acquire power by continually challenging and winning over gradually stronger opponents. You literally “build up” your strength and your way to the “top” as it is mentioned in the series from even as far back as episode one, whatever meaning that “top” may has.

He even, still, wants to be a honki person, who from what we know so far, is questionable anyone ever managed to actually achieve it. (We just don’t have the requirements to know how honki-ness is achieved! 🙄) And the only thing that is actually wrong with Matakara is that he’s miserably failing to objectively asses himself and perceive how he appears to the others, and that’s because he was never in an environment that gave him the opportunity or the tools to build a strong sense of self. His parents literally abandoned their children, with Matakara seemingly not even in the age to start attending grade school. His brother, who by the looks of it was about 9-10 (they have roughly a 5years difference— depending on whether Mitsukuni was the same age as Kenichiro (Arajin, you bitch, come and say to my face that a 21yo is an old man and I’ll rip you a new one! What are we 30-somethings supposed to be huh?! Grr! ( *｀ω´)) or if he became an early leader), was also a kid that had to look after him even as he had no means to provide for even himself since he was underage and couldn’t work. They both had to be taken in and live as a “burden” to the new owner of their family’s old bathhouse…

How the fuck does any of you saying that, can’t realise that this kid literally grew up to consider himself inadequate and unworthy and being fucking torn and tormented so deeply in his soul, that he actually believes he’s just NOT ENOUGH!!! is beyond me. And you dare fucking chalking it up to simple idolisation… (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

How can someone have such a single-angle-view perception to get so blind? This is “Arajin blissful blindness” on your part and I’d like you to think twice before you come into my house talking shit like that. (Not that the producers gave a fuck either to think this through, apparently…) _(:3 」∠)_

※ We are a Matakara & Ichiya wildlife safehouse and we don’t serve tea to haters and surface-tension-level character supporters here, the doors are open for you to go away if you don’t like that. 🐾 * gently boops you out the door*

We also don’t want to hurt anybody, just to achieve enlightenment. 💖

˚✧₊ As for why Ichiya acted like a dick in the first place, I am inclined to suspect, that this was probably because he realised that this was the end for him…

I mean, he was angry at Senya for holding back, and generally it is showcased that when real friends compete for the same goal they need to do that seriously so that the other gets the satisfaction that they lost to someone stronger than them at least and even more so that they won because of their own powers and not because they are viewed as either too respectable or weak enough to be let to win.

In the same vain, Senya is indeed like Matakara, because he’s not just holding back from Ichiya for being friends. He’s shown so far, to have such a strong respect for Ichiya, that he at times seemed to be ambivalent about wether he’d be able to really win over him. He’s unknowingly downplaying himself in front of Ichiya which in turn is also a form of weakness to boot, too.

He’s making Ichiya double the mad he actually is this way because a) Ichiya wants to know who’s the stronger between them for real and b) Senya is risking his becoming of a honki, since he’s essentially running away from fighting seriously. If you’re not able to face all your opponents equally, you are not able to become a true warrior/fighter/whatever and stand alone. The top has room only for one, and one must always be prepared for the loneliness he’ll have to face. You need to rise as someone that has no human weaknesses.

But Senya knowing how serious Ichiya is, is also probably afraid of how much Ichiya will push himself during the battle and that’s why he said “if we fight seriously, one of us could die” to which Ichiya actually said that he’s prepared for even that outcome. And what is Senya supposed to do, then? Do his — so far, one and only (gege when I catch you gege) — friend the favour and grand him his deathwish, without even understanding “why” himself or try and talk him out of it while finding out the problem and meeting him halfway?

Here I should probably add what I wrote in a reblogged post, where I state that I think what Ichiya is also concerned for, is that they need both Ichiya himself and Matakara to push harder in order to achieve perfection, but that can only happen when you overcome your humanity. Ichiya sees being human as a hindrance and therefore pushes for all three of them to abandon that aspect of themselves. Ironically, while doing so he falls in the same trap he initially tries to pull his friend out from and now his vessel, too. Being angry and frustrated is a sign of humanity, therefore a weakness.

Ichiya’s birthday, represents people born on this day, usually having an innate “darkness”, as Ichiya said in anime, too where they can feel the pain and sorrow of this world. In order for them to achieve their higher goal, which is to stop feeling so powerless to save this world from its sorrows (because Virgo is the perfectionist and the helper of sorts of the zodiac), they end up hating their own humanity and trying to overcome it (see note 7 above) even if that means that it is to their own detriment. They pursue this with great zeal even if they die, because death will eventually come for all and they know it. They understand that the time anyone has in life is finite and they internally mourn for this. They also feel pressed by this knowledge, because they want to achieve as much and as best as possible by that time.

I also love how Matakara is an Aries and Ichiya a Virgo, because those two signs are traditionally incompatible but they can work out and polish each-other if they happen to interact. 😊 As signs in aspect, Virgo and Aries are also considered to have a “karmic” relationship, exactly because of the hard lessons they will force on each-other. Surprisingly, or maybe not so much, the cool, collected Virgo will stick around and work with the usually hot blooded Aries to teach him patience and methodology, especially if they have already chosen the Aries. If the Virgo finally forms a bond, it's usually reluctant to leave later. Aries on the other hand can remove themselves the minute someone bores them, but since the Virgo is aggressively independent, they can be kept in a state of continual mini-wars that push the Virgo to open up bit by bit and thus bring the Aries before unexpected discoveries and truths they didn’t even imagine. From outside, they seem to both stick with each other out of sheer stubbornness but the truth is that they take important lessons that hone their less evolved traits of their characters and they are keen enough to recognise that. ie. The Virgo learns to be more honest in sharing their feelings (tenfold in Ichiya’s case btw— imagine how much better he’d be at communicating with Senya after being with this kid for a bit more time…) and Aries learns how to objectively asses and look at themselves. Of course, a fall out is always possible if their energies and other planet aspects are not in favourable positions but, I’d say in this case it’s safe to assume that a soul-that-lived-centuries-ago-turned-magical-being, was somehow fated to be compatible with the soul that needed its guidance the most. (Honestly, this has so much potential and pain and hope to unpack that the fact the series were so half-assed, literally pains me as an astrology enthusiast. Ah, the greatness we could witness had the producers been a fraction more serious and enthusiastic about this project… 🥺😔)

Ok. At this point, I’m sure I have forgotten a shitload of things I wanted to mention when I started and also have messed up somewhere and made mistakes, but mercury is retrograde and the last episode is this Saturday, so I’m writing this knowing that’ll probably be smacking myself and wanting to edit it in a month from now but for now— fuck it, we ball! 🫠😎

I also want to thank anyone who had the steel nerves to be able to read this far… You truly are a force to reckon if you managed to tolerate my incoherent ramblings until this point. I’d like to thank you from the bottom of my heart and hear your thoughts in return~ 🥰

▼For closing, I really want to say what I expect from the last episode before it airs! So here it goes…

I believe both Senya and Ichiya will fully merge with the kids for the fight. They will battle to the brink of death. I hope it’s bloody and satisfying to Ichiya because he won’t rest otherwise. But I think, like Senya said that he “has no intention of staying longer with Arajin after he found out the reason behind Ichiya’s change”, that they might actually not be able to fully return to their original forms and so, maybe the genies will eventually be integrated into Arajin’s and Matakara’s bodies and consciousness completely. Maybe they’ll even be forced to do that because, what if Matakara ends up being near death and the only way to survive is for Ichiya to fully give up into him? Hmmm??? (I’m looking forward to hitting this one! 😎 they could even resume their training to become real honki people; both the kids and the genies) The fact that merging is dangerous enough for someone to die in itself is very important to consider, but as hinted by Senya’s words there is a possibility to retain or even return a vessel’s soul— which has me thinking Sukuna of sorts... Now, if we were looking at a tragedy genre, Matakara would end up dead no doubt, btw. The other option seems to be that Ichiya finally gets defeated and so maybe his soul is able to rest with Senya actually managing to achieve becoming a true honki; I… wouldn’t particularly mind this outcome but I’m not sure how it’d be for the boys… especially Matakara. I honestly think it’d be a little cheesy. I also think Arajin will get a bit taller as a result of that merge and I think that the shadow we see in the ending theme, it’s going to be his new self after that fight. And hey~ Maybe he’ll even get the girl… no matter how shitty a personality she displayed so far… 🫤 We may even get a glimpse of what happens some 3 or 10 years down the road. Who knows?!

Now guys, I hope you had a good read. <3 If you stumbled on something that confused you, feel free to ask about it. Or tell me I’m wrong. Works either way! :P

Asks are open for all if anonymous is your thing, too. 📥

Let’s see what the last episode has in store for the fandom this Saturday together, shall we? 🤗

🩵💙🌙💙🩵

#bucchigiri?!#asamine matakara #tomoshibi arajin #senya #ichiya #episode rant #fandom talk #asamine mitsukuni #and what the heck is going on?#‘if you think arajin is awful mc then imagine how bad matakara and his boy crush would be..’ like really? REALLY???#anyways…#long post is long #so all I’ll say is that despite his name being just a pun on magic without deeper meaning; the word being female kinda works out perfectly😏#godammit typos… 🤦‍♀️#and forgot the most important thing I wanted to talk about regarding matakara and ichiya… ughhh… 😫😭

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baddest-batchers · 14 days

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@stars-n-spice here!

For the Bad Batch Ask Game! 3, 12, 25, and 40!

Wishing you luck getting through the finale 🫡🩵

Thank you for asking!!

3. What’s your favorite episode? Why?

My favorite episode (I have two but I think one definitely beats out the other for the top spot) is S3 Ep 4 “A Different Approach”. I absolutely loved getting to see Crosshair and Omega interact throughout that whole episode. Their banter was so good and so funny!! Seeing how their relationship had evolved over their time spent at Tantiss beginning to shine through in them trying to get back to the rest of the Batch just made it my favorite episode of the entire show.

12. Which Batcher do you think would be your best friend?

This is soooo hard to answer lol. Probably Echo tbh because I’m definitely the mom friend of my close group of friends and I feel like Echo and I would really vibe based off of just that fact alone 😂. We are really out here trying to get shit done and keep everyone safe lmao.

25. What are your favorite things about each Batcher?

Hunter: I adore Hunter’s commitment to doing the right thing, no matter how difficult the situation & circumstances. He carries himself with so much integrity and I think that is something I definitely love about him.

Wrecker: Ohhhhhh my boy Wrecker is such a sweetie and big softy. I love his gentleness towards others, especially Omega. He’s literally a giant muscly teddy bear and I love him for that. Wrecker, like Omega, is quick to forgive and give others a second chance. He’s such an underrated member of the Batch imo. Wrecker girlies, where you at??

Echo: I love Echo’s dedication to his brothers and to Rex’s cause. He so badly wants to help each and every single one of his brothers to safety so that none of them have to go through what he did on Skako Minor. I think Echo has such a big heart and he deserves all the love.

Crosshair: Oh gosh where do I even start with him. I truly admire Crosshair’s sense of loyalty. I have that same loyal-to-a-fault sense just like he does and it was so touching and heart wrenching at times to see Crosshair’s loyalties shift back to his brothers and sister after choosing the Empire over them. I’m of the firm opinion that Crosshair loves the hardest out of the entire Batch and he will do everything in his power, no matter his own feelings to keep his family safe. The reason why I think he’s one of my favorites is because he’s a lot like me: fiercely loyal and a person who loves incredibly deeply.

Tech: As a certified Tech Girlie™️, literally everything about him is my favorite 😂. He’s so smart and honest and kind. I adore his self confidence. In S2 Ep 4 “Faster,” Tech was such a badass and had no doubt that he could win that race. He is definitely the most confident of his brothers and that is what I think really attracts me to him. Not to mention he’s so cute with all of his quirks and endless knowledge. I could honestly listen to him talk for hours y’all. 🥰

40. Favorite scene(s)?

Okay this is soooo difficult to answer because there are so many scenes that I looooooove. One of the first to come to mind is in S3 Ep 4 where Omega finally gives in and tells Crosshair that they can try things his way and he replies with, “Finally.” Like my guy was chomping at the bit to shoot those Imperials lmfao. Another is the scene between Tech & Omega in the mine where he explains to her that he processes his feelings differently than she and the others do but that he doesn’t feel any less than she does. And when he confirms to Omega that they are a family had me tearing up 😭😭😭 That scene was so touching and beautiful. 11/10. And ofc, I cannot leave out the meditation scene with Crosshair & Omega. 🥺🥺🥺 I have sooooo many other favorites but then this would get wayyyyyy too long lmao.

Thank you again for the ask @stars-n-spice !! 💕

Good luck to you, too, tomorrow 🫡😭 may the force be with us all 💙💙💙

#the bad batch #star wars #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #tbb omega #tbb tech #tbb echo #tbb wrecker #tbb

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autisticempathydaemon · 2 months

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Hii, could I please have a matchup ☺️💕 thank you!!

* What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

Million Dollar Houses by PTV!! My fav verse has to be “maybe we’re meant to lose the ones we love but I’ll fight for you till then”. I feel this way a lot wether it’s for something I’m doing or towards someone I’m dating yk, I think it portrays that feeling rlly well

* What is your Enneagram type?

Type 9

* Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

YES OMG I watch sooo many but my fav has to be “learn to be bored” by Farah. It’s just so interesting and her way of explaining things is so calming I love all her stuff

* Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

I remember I had this fish tank in my room, so I’d pretend they could hear me and just yap away to these poor fish lmao, I think that’s the closest to imaginary friend I had

* What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

Tbh I fall asleep anywhere and anytime easily but on the rare occasion I can’t I just put on some music and it seems to help

* If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

I’d probably change it to Amada. It’s one of my old relative’s name and she’s somebody I look up to and hope to be like, so I’d love to be named after her tbh. Family is def something that’s important to me so it fits

* What is your favorite of Redacted's audios, and why?

One that’s up there for me is deeefinitely that David audio where he catches you with his hoodie. I always go back to one of his audios if I need to relax and that’s fs one of them (side note, I remember after listening to that audio I knew immediately that he was gonna propose for the next one ommmg)

* What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don't get the hype for. (I won't judge, I promise.)

Tbh anything with Marcus or James I know nothing abt. Nothing against them yk but I’ve never rlly bothered to listen to any of the audios in that series

* Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

Guardians of the Galaxy, both movies but tbh more of the second one. I could recite majority of the movie and I know ALL of Rocket’s lines by heart I’ve watched it countless times by now. Might rewatch today tbh I love them

* Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

I’d love to be friends w Damien. My best friend is similar to him and I feel like he’d bring out the best in somebody, I could see myself working rlly well with him esp with school and stuff

* Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you're tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows l'm ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

Hmm I don’t really ramble but if I’m tired I love to listen to somebody talk. I’m more of a listener in general but when I get sleepy I’ll call one of my friends and have them just rant until I’m actually ready to sleep

* Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

Ironically, 711. I dont get the slushees though, I just get a strawberry milk with those fruit bowls. Idk what it is but it’s like routine atp

* Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

My fav playlist rn is my main one- It’s pretty much just rock and like grunge w a little bit of metal, I listen to all genres but I mainly listen to that. Lots of Radiohead, pierce the veil, Red Hot Chili Peppers yk

* What's your guilty pleasure media, and why?

Any anime ever but esp Ouran. I can’t help but rewatch yk 😞

I hope I’m not too biased as a fellow type nine when I say this, but you’re a family-oriented type nine who’d get along with Damien. Who would be a better match for you than Huxley?

Type Nines are the peacemakers, the mediators of the Enneagram, always listening and taking care of people, watching the mood. This combined with family being important to you and Damien reminding you of your best friend leads me to believe that you’d have so much in common with Huxley as all these things describe him too, you know? He’d see a kindred spirit in you and would know you’d be a good fit with his life, loved ones, and values. Apropos of your enneagram type, this would build a very peaceful life together.

That’s not to say it’s not a fun or romantic life, of course. This is Huxley, we’re talking about; he is a total sweetheart to be with. He watches all your anime with you, even though it’s totally new to him, and he watches OHSHC as many times as you’d like, jamming to the theme song. (My headcanon is he’s totally in love with the shoujo genre and would love A Sign of Affection and Kimi No Todoke best.) For your next gift-giving holiday, he gives you a life-size Rocket Raccoon. When you’re sleepy, he lays you down, holds you close to his chest, and rambles about socks or some such until you fall asleep. It’s a perfect life, honestly.

Song:

I don't want this moment to ever end/ Where everything's nothing without you/ I want you to know/ With everything, I won't let this go/ These words are my heart and soul (I'll hold on)/ I'll hold on to this moment, you know/ As I bleed my heart out to show/ And I won't let go

Finding a balance between your rock/grunge music and what I headcanon Huxley to listen to was very interesting, but I think the Sum 41 song I picked is a good fit. This song would have come out when Huxley was a kid, and the nostalgia of it combined with having someone to listen to it with would just make him overjoyed.

Runner-ups:

Guy would be a really fun runner-up, because if you like falling asleep to the sound of a loved one talking? Is there a better possible match in that respect? Geordi, I like for you because he’s one of the few boys who I think would be an anime fan, especially OHSHC. (Asher is the other anime fan, I think, but he’s more a fan of shounen.)

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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clippy · 2 months

Note

How did you become so interested in iasw? I’m genuinely curious and I would love to learn more about it! Also, what’s so special about… 𝐓 𝐇 𝐄 𝐂 𝐋 𝐎 𝐂 𝐊 .

Would you believe me if I said it was literally an accident LOL...

Like okay. I grew up going to WDW and Disneyland (as well as other theme parks but those were the main two; my dad grew up going to WDW so the obsession has spanned generations I guess lmao) small world was always a must-do, but my main theme park interests as a kid lied within everything Epcot-related (and it still does)

Anyway, my last trip to WDW prior to getting the Disney parks as a special interest was in 2014. I went with my high school band and it was kind of a whole thing (high school drama shit + spring break week + having to do performances in band) so we didn't get the most park time possible. We wound up skipping small world which makes me Wonder if this interest would have been kick started sooner if we didn't skip it. But anyway. Fast forward to 2018. I am visiting my friend (and now roommate) who is watching a bunch of animatronic and theme park videos and I, a clueless man, decided to watch with her and it literally awoke a sleeper cell in my brain or something because I've been *nonstop* obsessed ever since 🧍

Like literally during that session of watching videos I designed my objecthead version of Clockboy. My life has not known peace ever sense, and tbh has drastically been altered (I'll get into that later)

But yeah the Autism(TM) made me have an insatiable hunger for knowledge about everything small world-related... I still don't know EVERYTHING about it, as there are lots of variations and history, etc. involving the installments of the attraction outside of Disneyland, but my main focus is the original world's fair & Disneyland version of the attraction (since they're the same thing... Mostly) as well as IASW facades in general...

There are tons of people who have equally as niche interests within the attraction's history which I think is SO cool. Like the fact that this nearly 60 year old ride has enough meat on its bones to have whole sub-groups of what people like about it is endearing

The history about it is what has drawn me into it (aside from the funny clock) because it almost didn't happen! There was a near missed connection between a Pepsi exec and Walt Disney himself that, had that not happened, we wouldn't have gotten the ride at all. I don't want to relay the entire history here (the Imagineering Story & Behind the Attraction episodes about the world's fair attractions get into it, as well as a plethora of YouTube videos documenting the ride), but that story about the beginnings of it is so dear to me, and I can't explain why.

But anyway, since my primary focus is the original attraction and facades, I've done some reading about imagineers Mary Blair and Rolly Crump, who have become two of my favorite visual artists and large inspirations for me. Crump has a few books and interviews out that have been interesting to read, but admittedly I've had a hard time finding firsthand accounts from Blair herself. I'm sure some art out there but finding them has been tricky since I don't get a lot of time to do research in general (the stuff by Crump was all found on accident, and he also had the benefit of being alive until 2023 so getting firsthand accounts from him was easier)

Otherwise I am just... Constantly googling stuff and looking for old pictures and merchandise related to IASW. It gets me a lot of answers, surprisingly. I go to Disneyland at least once a month to go ride it and visit my boy.

Still not entirely sure WHY my brain fixated on IASW and the clock specifically, but that's just the hand I was dealt I guess 🤷 don't get me wrong, I still love Epcot stuff and have other silly theme park guys I love (RX-24.... 🥺) but the small world clock has such a stronghold on my brain and I genuinely don't think he's leaving any time soon LOL

It's so funny to me because 6 years ago, I would never have guessed this would have been my next special interest. I was working at a job I liked decently enough. I was still dropped out of school and had no urge to go back, and I was considering moving to Seattle... But now I work in a theme park doing a job I never saw myself having (which is fine, I like my job!), I'm back in school (pursuing a degree I hope I can spin into a career in theme park design 🤞), and I live in California now. Wild how that happens.

The small world clock may not be special to most people (I mean, a lot of people DO like him, I see tons of people taking photos in front of small world with him as the backdrop!) but he is extremely special to me. I treasure him so so so much, and do genuinely think my life has been better with him in it... It's silly that a funny clock face has done So Much to my brain and life but :'-) I love him so it's okay!

Anyway sorry that this is long and sappy LOL, you happened to ask this close to the 6 year anniversary of me getting into small world (it's on March 31 to be exact 😊) so it made me reflect a bit lol

TL;DR sources for more IASW info:

The Imagineering Story Episode 1: The Happiest Place on Earth (1964-1965 New York World's Fair stuff is about 35 min in) -- on Disney+

Behind the Attraction Episode 8: "it's a small world" -- on Disney+

"it's kind of a cute story" by Rolly Crump (interviews; written down by Jeff Heimbuch)

Defunctland's 1964-1965 NYWF video talks about it a decent amount if I remember right

any pictorial souvenir guides about the attraction (currently, and slowly, working on scanning mine in, and will share them once I do, but they're up on eBay a lot if you collect that sort of thing)

Sorry I don't have 🏴‍☠️ links for the D+ stuff or the book but I currently don't have the spoons to search for them

#hi. this is long so read more #sorry if u wanted a short answer

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vendetta-if · 1 year

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Even though that execution was brutal (& a complete override of what I initially wanted lmao), Ash’s justification made a lot of sense! Then they were really genuine & understanding about it in their reaction to MC, too, so I wasn’t even that mad in the end. But even if I was, I wouldn’t really want them to change? Because I can definitely see how & why Ash came to be who they are lol & I wouldn’t encourage my MC to change a core part of themselves for an RO so ig I’m not gonna encourage an RO to change a core part of themselves for my MC. Smoking is one thing! But Ash’s moral code & mentality, which is especially appropriate for the world they live in, is another thing. Besides, opposites attract so. . . 😅

I’ll say, anon, I’m really touched by the understanding and consideration that you’re showing to Ash 😭 Reading this ask made me smile 😄 It’s really sweet 🥹

I’m glad that you really understand Ash here. I hope you don’t mind me using this opportunity to further explain a bit more about the way Ash thinks and sees this whole situation.

I’ve said before that I really tried to treat and write my characters as their own people, instead of being more of a prop for the MC. I know Ash may seem like a simp for MC 😆 but they are not some kind of robot or dog that will obey all of MC’s wants; they still have their own thoughts and beliefs that they took into consideration when they overrode MC’s decision to let the Commissioner live. They really meant it when they said that they are doing it for MC’s good too (at least in their view).

Considering the cutthroat and dog-eat-dog world that Ash and MC’s family operate in, it might be the best course of action for MC’s future.

Now, when the words spread that the young Morozov is as ruthless as their uncle and their grandfather, a lot of other criminals would be more afraid and wary of MC instead of underestimating them. After all, fear is an excellent tool to keep people in the criminal world in line and violence is the only language that they all share and understand.

Imagine you’re a hitman, or just a lowly gang member who are being offered the task of assassinating MC. Would you be as ready to take it if you know or hear that your target is ruthless and is capable of killing or ordering someone’s gruesome death? Add that with the already fearsome reputation built by Luka and Grandpa, others would be more ready to believe that MC would be like them or even scarier than them (if you executed him gruesomely).

Also, what would it look like on the Morozov’s reputation if it’s found out that the they decided to let the person who has been actively working with other gangs to take them down live with not even a slap on the wrist?

Returning back to Ash, they really do believe that they’re helping and sparing Merciful MCs from having to soil their hands. They would be willing to do all the dirty deeds necessary for MC’s own good, rather than forcing Merciful MCs to do those themself.

And some of you might already notice, but if your MC didn’t want to kill or was hesitate about killing the commissioner when they were given the mission, then during the breakfast with Luka, MC caught Luka nodding at Ash, reminding them of their objectives, which were to make sure the target is dead and to protect MC. So, they are actually ordered by Luka and Grandpa to make sure the commissioner is dead, MC just wasn’t really aware of it.

#asks #anon ask #if: vendetta #chapter 2 #ro: ash #char: mc #char: luka #char: grandpa #if game #if wip #dashingdon #choicescript

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gummy-sharks666 · 3 months

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Sweetie, I have a new meal that I wish you to cook 😋😋😋 for the random hcs of bakugan characters.

Shun, Dan, Marucho and Billy.

Have fun!! ❤️🤩❣️

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 🫣

Shun:

Gender: v gender-fluid/demi boy

Sexuality: I’m thinking his sexuality is also p fluid but he’s probably attracted to more fem ppl

A ship I have: haven’t seen s4 but I’ve been converted to the shunsellon agenda. They can be emo together <3 might be strange but I like shun/ace 🫣

BROTP: Dan definitely. They’ve had ups and downs together, childhood friends. A lot of ppl ship them but idk I just see them more as rlly good friends personally. Also fabia and Alice

NOTP: uhh probably Shun/Fabia. I think they’re just friends

Random hc: his favorite MCR album is Black Parade but hes too afraid to admit it bc then he’d either be called basic or he’d have to explain the reason is because of losing his mom and how the hard he relates to the lyrics

General opinion: I like him and HOO boy I shave a history with him for sure. He was def one of my faves as a child and definitely contributed to my gender crisis. Also began my love for Ventus and Ventus users. I don’t think I ever crushed on him but I wanted to be him so bad…

Dan:

Gender: someone has to be the cis male of the group, it’s him

Sexuality: bi but definitely has not explored his attraction to masc presenting ppl as much. It takes him awhile to figure out he’s bi

A ship I have: THERAPY LMAO 💀 but fr I’d say either Spectra or Anubias, although I think those relationships would be more one sided (Dan not really noticing they’re crushing on him so damn hard). I think that’s why I like it so much too bc I’ve had MANY crushes like that before and i like angst… something something Pete Wentz lyrics be like

BROTP: Shun for sure, him and Runo strike me as the divorced couple who end up being besties after going separate ways and learning ab themselves more. Also Drago obvs

NOTP: Literally any female character in the show

Random hc: adhd for SURE

General opinion: I’d say season 1 Dan will forever be my fave. He’s a little shithead kid who gets the bomb dropped on him and he has to start reevaluating how he looks at the other people around him, but that starts to falter in the later seasons where he just becomes the stereotypical hero who gets all the buffs and does no wrong, which does his character such a disservice. I honestly like that he was such a dick in the beginning bc that’s how most kids are, but the point is they learn through meeting other people and experiencing shit. We were robbed of that for Dan after season 1 IMO. But overall he’s fine ig.

Marucho:

Gender: reads as a boy to me personally, now that I think ab it him being a trans guy is so real. Short trans kings unite 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Sexuality: his sexuality is fluid. He just likes who he likes, but I think he definitely tends to fall more for personality than looks

A ship I have: MARUREN OBVIOUSLY!! Literally one of the best things ab season 3

BROTP: Julie and Runo definitely

NOTP: uhhhhh idk honestly I haven’t seen him be shipped with too many ppl for me to be like “oh hell naw” 😭😭

Random hc: he def has a bakugan discord and probably a separate one for him and all the original brawlers from when the game first started. Him and Julie coordinate all the reunions and meetups

General opinion: I love this dude fr. He’s fucking LOADED but he’s still the sweetest kid in the universe. He’s not just hella book smart but he’s extremely emotionally intelligent too. I also relate to him with that whole gifted kid past a bit,,, hes honestly just all around a fantastic character I’m a big fan of Marucho. Def one of the best characters in the series

Billy:

Gender: yknow what,, I’m gonna say it. Billy gives me transmasc vibes

Sexuality: straight

A ship I have: Canon, but Julie. I think they’re whole backstory connection, the falling out and reconnection was really cute. I hope they have a good rest of their lives together 🫡

BROTP: Jake. I think they’d be homies. Jake is the third wheel on his and Julie’s dates

NOTP: uhhh idk honestly,,, maybe klaus 💀

Random hc: huge fan of early 2000’s pop alongside Julie

General opinion: I think he’s cool. He’s not one they expand on a whole lot but him and Julie are one of the very few straight ships I rlly like

#bakugan #bakugan battle brawlers #gundalian invaders #bakugan gundalian invaders #new vestroia #bakugan mechtanium surge #bakugan new vestroia #dan kuso #shun kazami #billy hargrove #marucho marukura #character hcs #character asks

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sunset-a-story · 10 months

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Happy Blorbo Blursday yourself! Please, please tell me why everyone wants to drag Reeve? I love it, but I'm curious!

LMAO. Thank you so much for this, love. I'm going to include an excerpt but let me try to explain too.

The problem is everything about Reeve should traditionally make him one of those smooth, cool characters.

He's a high-level telepath

He's smart

He's a trained killer

He's had some spy training

He's queer

He's mad attractive

He's a leader

He has a classic car

He cares about his appearance

AND YET HE WILL NOT ALLOW IT.

He's a dweeb. Full stop.

Reeve was that teacher's pet. If he worked in an office, he'd probably tattle on people taking long lunches and never, ever bring stationary home with him--but he's the team leader of what is essentially a small hit squad so that makes it worse. His aloofness could be sexy but instead, he leans into pathetic-yet-pretentious. I mean, we love him to death for it but he's so easy to make fun of.

Here's an excerpt from Arc 1 (Gareth's POV) where they get after him about it:

Alex whistled, startling them both out of their exchange. “You’re looking spiffy.”

Reeve’s shirt and slacks, because the man actually wore slacks, were pressed with neat creases and he’d put some extra effort into his hair.

“He’s got a hot date with Julie,” Hannah teased, coming in from the living room, her hand extended to Reeve for him to take his phone.

“It’s coffee.”

“Who’s she again?” Gareth asked, passing a plate with a sandwich to Alex.

“She works at the corner store in town on Second Street,” Reeve said in a monotone.

“You know, the one we go to all the time? Brunette, little nose,” Hannah added as she plopped into the seat across from Alex.

“Oh, yeah.” Gareth leaned his back against the counter and took a bite of his own sandwich. “What the hell do you have in common with her?”

Reeve slipped his phone into his pocket and cocked his head. “Not sure if I should take relationship advice from someone who needs to check what county he’s in when going to meet a date.”

Alex turned to Gareth and quipped, “It’s really cute that he thinks you’re concerned about whether or not the sex worker is licensed.”

Gareth nearly choked. Psychometrists, telepaths, empaths, the fucking lot of them. But he was relieved to see some life returning to the kid, even if it was mostly bravado to cover up nerves.

“Alex,” Reeve started, but was cut off.

“Who does she think I am?” Alex asked. Explaining the strange set of roommates with no discernible jobs was part of why Gareth found it easier not to deal with the whole dating scene.

Hannah smirked. “My half-brother.” Alex rolled his eyes at her, but she gave Reeve a kind look. “I think it’s nice. She’s pretty.”

“She’s not that cute,” Alex muttered.

Reeve crossed his arms. “Yes, well, you’re the only person in this house not at least a little attracted to women, so I hope you won't mind too much if I ignore your opinion.”

Gareth watched Hannah’s eyebrows attempt to make an escape off the top of her head as she dropped her jaw and looked at him. Gareth wrinkled his nose at her in response. This wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Je-sus-Christ,” Alex snapped. “Touchy much?” He looked annoyed, but any fear or vulnerability he’d shown earlier by the shooting range was nowhere to be found.

Reeve closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. I can get reactive when people are purposefully embarrassing me.”

Which was an extremely Reeve thing to say.

Alex processed that for a moment. “Oh my god, you’re such a robotic nerd.”

Reeve gave an unamused frown.

Gareth shook his head then smiled pointedly at Alex. “You’ll learn to ignore Reeve. He’s just got a nasty case of T.L.S.”

Reeve’s head snapped back. “Where the hell did you hear about that?”

Hannah put her fist over her mouth as she choked on a laugh. “That was me.”

Reeve made a face. “You grew up in a Mars foster, why the hell did that ever--”

“Hey,” Alex interrupted, his face flushed. “What the fuck is T.L.S.?”

Gareth did his best to keep from laughing long enough to speak. “I’m sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood.”

“It stands for Team Leader Syndrome,” Hannah explained.

Alex’s brow furrowed. “So it’s the big head you get from being in charge?”

“That’s not accurate,” Reeve replied from between his teeth.

“Sounds right to me,” Gareth shrugged.

Reeve let out one of his long-suffering sighs. “It’s a set of personality traits that result in being tapped to lead.”

“Like what?”

“Like being organized, detail-oriented, decisive…”

Hannah continued counting off on her fingers, “Practical to the point of ignoring social graces, a buzzkill, a know-it-all…”

“Sounding like a robotic nerd?” Gareth added.

“Okay, okay.” Reeve glared at him. “He gets the idea.” He turned to Alex. “I apologize.”

“It’s cool,” Alex said, all straight faced. “You can’t help it. It’s part of your condition and I’d be a real ass holding that against you.”

Hannah and Gareth lost it.

“Are you happy now?” Reeve asked Gareth.

He nodded, trying to rein in his chuckling, and failed.

[For the record, as a telepath Reeve has the advantage and disadvantage of knowing what people really think about him. So he gets the "omg Reeve why have you never heard of fun???" thoughts but also knows how much they care about him so their dragging doesn't bother him.]

Sunset taglist. I try to keep it to release updates, character profiles, and especially long excerpts. Please comment/dm for +/- @words-after-midnight @thathaunteddoll @chayscribbles @elizaellwrites @theimperiumchronicles @thatndginger @clairelsonao3 @writeintrees @hon3yquilt-blog @scribe-of-stories @kahvilahuhut @stuffaboutwriting @iced-ginger-tea

#drag reeve #drag reeve drag me and my capricorn moon ass #sunset a story #sunset a story excerpt #blorbo blursday

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cbk1000 · 1 year

Text

Posting another preview of the vet fic, because I have around 43,000 words written, but I think I’m going to wait till I’m finished to post anything because I want to see exactly how long it’s going to be (estimating in the 60,000 range...that’s a hopeful estimate lmao) so I can break it up appropriately. It wouldn’t be moral to post this one as a one-shot, I don’t think, so I’ll have to split it up into a few parts. lmao

Arthur snatched the phone back. There was a long silence whilst he scrolled, and Merlin packed up his ultrasound machine. “What about this one?” he asked at last, handing back the phone.

“Those are my nostrils. I was faffing about with my phone and accidentally took a picture up my nose and obviously didn’t realise or forgot to delete it. Why would I put that on a dating profile? You can’t even see my face.”

“Seems an obvious advantage over the other photos, then.”

Merlin flicked him in the head.

“Do you really think women are going to look at these pictures and tinder with you, or whatever you do on these things?”

“That’s not even the right dating app. It’s right in the name, Arthur. But, yeah. Women. Or blokes.”

There was a laden pause. “What do you mean, ‘Or blokes?’” Arthur asked.

And Merlin, bending over the bag of equipment with his heart in his mouth, said, in a voice quite out of rhythm with his pulse, “I mean the literal words that came out of my mouth.”

There was another pause; no longer merely heavy, but corpulent. He went on packing up his kit, waiting as if for the executioner, to see whether the next moment would end or absolve him.

“Are you gay?” Arthur blurted out.

And Merlin looked up, no longer in anticipation, but with that need which is in the human animal, to gawp at what is terrible: though he was looking at stupidity, rather than a car accident. “No,” he said, enunciating very slowly. “I said ‘or’. Or is a conjunction; it’s used to link alternatives. ‘Tea or coffee.’ ‘I’ll cycle, or walk.’ Meaning both are acceptable, possible choices.”

“Thank you,” Arthur said with such withering sarcasm he very nearly elevated the response to art. “I’m aware what words mean.”

“Then why did I have to explain it slowly and with very careful articulation?”

“Because you talk like you’ve a mouthful of gravel.”

“That’s from you colonising pricks standing your jackboot on my face and forcing it into the ground.”

“You grew up in England.” Arthur looked away, and scratched his nose. “So you’re--bisexual? Pansexual? I don’t know that many of the--of the sexuals.”

There was a weight coming off him. He realised Arthur was going to be stupid, not bigoted, and said, “I don’t really care that much about the label, but bisexual’s what I tell people.”

There was another pause whilst Arthur dithered about, trying to decide where it was appropriate to put one’s hands in front of men who liked men; and stuffing them in his pockets, asked, sounding extraordinarily casual about it, which tone he had achieved with stunning effort, “What kind of men do you like?”

“What?”

“Well, if you like my sister, I assume your taste in men is similarly atrocious. I was only curious.” He scratched at his nose again.

“Erm, well, I don’t have--a list or anything like that. Fit men, who aren’t total berks.”

“What does that mean?” Arthur demanded. “‘Fit men’ could mean anything. Especially coming from someone with no standards.”

“Fine. Percival. He’s an example of someone I’d climb like a tree.”

“Percival?” Arthur’s hands came out of his pockets, and grabbed the stall door between them, as if he would need it for support, in his time of need. “He’s too big.”

“All right, fine, you’re so good at being attracted to men, pick someone fitter. You think you can be a better gay than me?”

“Well, apparently, it’s not difficult.” Arthur leant his upper body on the stall door, whilst Merlin finished packing up the bag, holding out his hand for it to be passed over to him in the aisle.

“Ok, if you weren’t straight, what kind of guy would you find attractive, then?”

“Well, I haven’t really thought about it, of course, but I’d have to say, someone athletic, good with horses, roots for Manchester U, like a correct person, good-looking. Sophisticated.”

“Blonde? Blue-eyed?” Merlin asked, leaning on the door beside him, so that their elbows nearly touched.

“Can’t go wrong with that.”

“So you’re saying you’d be gay for yourself.”

“I’m only saying anyone with objectively good taste would be.”

Merlin cupped his chin in his hand, and looked up from under his lashes, which he used as a signal to indicate he was about to flirt, and the other person had better be ready for it. Then, instead of flattery, he delivered a little fine ridicule: “Except you forgot the bit about being a knob. ‘Aryan ideal’ isn’t really much of a selling point.”

“I also said, ‘good with horses, roots for Manchester U, sophisticated, good-looking, athletic.’ Could add ‘funny’--”

“Looking,” Merlin interrupted.

“Funny, good taste in books--”

“That’s the only one I don’t take issue with.”

“Would you stop interrupting me whilst I explain why you’re wrong and should feel bad about it?”

Merlin held up his hands. “Sorry. Do go on. Why exactly am I being bisexual wrong? Could use the enlightenment. I’ve been doing it a while and never knew I was bollixing it.”

Arthur ticked off points on his fingers. “I can cook; I’m actually properly proportioned--”

“You are so jealous of Percival. He could put your head in the crook of his arm, flex, and stove in your fat head, and you hate it. Next to him, you look like you’re seven stone soaking wet.”

“Are you blind? I’m twice the size of you--”

“You’re shorter, and I wrestle cows for a living, office boy.”

“Add ‘delusional’ to your long list of faults. The only reason you’re bisexual, is because you had to expand your options beyond a single gender, or else you’d die alone. You had to add several more million fish to the sea in hopes of finding a single one deranged enough to not flee on sight.”

Merlin dangled his hands over the side of the stall door. “Sounds like projection.”

“What?”

“I said, ‘Sounds like projection!’” he shouted, as if Arthur were old. “I’ve never had any trouble getting anyone to climb on a dark-haired 6’ manual labourer whose job is to treat sick animals. If you’re having problems, maybe it’s your hair?”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Arthur demanded.

“Nothing, really, just assume you get prickly when it’s mussed. Can’t imagine women like hearing, ‘For the sake of my hair, it’s missionary, or nothing, you will not touch my hair in the throes of passion, you will not, in the throes of passion, mar my delicate posh boy skin, which I bathe daily in La Mear and caviar--’”

“It’s La Mer.”

“I knew you’d know that.”

#writing #fic #preview #merthur #spoiler alert: arthur is not straight #and he's the fish degranged enough to not flee on sight #lmao

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thegoblinboy · 2 years

Text

Ok so like I’m slow okay so don’t judge, but Eddie’s bandana is on the Left meaning he is on top and then the Black means he’s into S&M (sadism and masochism) which would make sense for his character lmao. Like come on there has to be a reason why he has so much enjoyment in being called Eddie ‘The freak’ Munson. Though I also found that it also means a extreme top in some books, and then someone who is into being whipping. (From Eddie’s pocket choice he’s the whipper) but with that being explained I’m going to get into this one shot idea I’ve had for a while.

This is sort of crappy writing but I’m tired lol

The second Steve’s eyes landed on Eddie’s handkerchief at the back of his pocket he immediately knew what was going on there. Of course it could easily be mistaken for a metal head who just enjoyed the aesthetic but when they were in Eddie’s small trailer in the upside down. When he had ran into his room to play one of his Queen records. Which he thankfully wouldn’t get rid of until a year after Will went missing. He couldn’t help but let his eyes catch onto the handcuffs that were hung up against the wall. Taking a shaky breath he quickly snaps back to it as he grabs the record and presses play.

Steve had remembered the colors, as Billy had forced him to remember them. No one knew any of this of course. This had all happened before Robin was his friend. Maybe just maybe, Steve had lied to Munson when he said he didn’t know who Black Sabbath was or Ozzy. God he’s pretty sure Billy rolled in his grave. Hargrove hadn’t spent weeks engraving the metal life style in his brain just for him to not to use his knowledge on a fellow metal head.

It was almost as if Billy knew that the two of them wouldn’t have worked out. Steve hates to think about that at night. He still woke up into a sweat whenever woke up from a nightmare of his dead lovers body being torn apart by the Mind flayer. That’s probably why he never told Eddie the truth. Eddie’s style reminded him of Billy. Though their personalities were no where even close. When Steve wore the others vest he felt like he was betraying Billy in a way. Though he still can’t help but feel attracted to the idiot who decides to sell weed to a popular cheerleader.

Of course fate had decided to force them together alone in the upside down. Accidentally splitting up with the others when they had returned. Steve stays focused but he still can’t stop staring at the others black handkerchief. It kept dragging his attention back and keep his eyes for a minute before he would snap out of it.

Though he’s startled as he’s thrown into the air hitting a tree. Gasping for air as he hears Eddie’s screams from a couple feet away from him. Then he’s being lifted up in the air as he goes white as he sees he’s once again being pinned up against a tree by Billy Hargrove. Though Steve knew this wasn’t him it still didn’t stop him from having a huge panic attack as Billy’s words started to fall out.

“It’s you’re fucking fault I’m dead. Maybe if you showed up to our date at the right fucking time I would still be alive.” Billy’s spitting out. Eddie’s catching up and even he’s shocked at the sight in front of him.

“Billy, stop it you’re hurting me.” Steve cry’s out as the other just pushes up against him more as him as Steve’s kicking his feet. Before Eddie can try to get the other off of him he recognizes Steve faintly saying red red repeatedly. If Munson didn’t know any better the boy was trying to color out. But he ignores it and forgets about it before he sees Steve’s putting headphones over the boys ears and hitting plays. He had a pair just in case he was trapped.

Steve stumbles as he falls to the side as he hears Metallica faintly playing from Billy’s head and then the others gone. Just disappearing into dust particles. Steve groans as he moves taking his stuff as he stands up a bit wobbly and very shaken up. Eddie’s about to say something but Steve’s giving him a look and the other shuts up.

Eddie had started to grow suspicious of Steve himself. Though of what he wasn’t sure yet. Though it clicks in his head that the other had lied to him when it was months later and everything was done and over with. Both him and Steve started to hang out more when Robin started going out with Vickie. They had of course become a group and stays together as much as possible.

Eddie’s going through Steve’s car when he finds a few cassettes with writing scribbled all over it. Steve had a joint in hand and wasn’t paying attention and didn’t catch onto the fact that the other was putting one of Billy’s in. When the familiar noises of guitar started to play Eddie has a shit ass grin on his face as he looks at the other.

“You do know Black Sabbath you asshole!” He says catching the other in his lie after months. Though he looks confused when he sees the other tense up. Steve rubs his face as he reaches forward pulling the cassette out.

“It’s not mine. They were Billy’s.” He mumbles as he rewinds the tape back carefully as he sets it down. It seems to click in Eddie’s head what the other had implied as he makes a oh shit face and was about to say something before Steve’s pointing at him with the joint between his fingers.

“Don’t you fucking dare say anything to Robin. She doesn’t know, no one does. Say one peep and I’m telling her what that fancy little hanky means in your back pocket.” Steve says calmly as he moves back into his seat kicking it back more as he adds. “Just avoid the cassettes with the writing. I don’t fucking know if Hargrove put the one of him jerking off. in here.” He says calmly as he passes the joint back. Honestly Eddie’s shocked. Though Steve seems to decide what he wants to listen to popping in ‘Kill ‘Em All’ by Metallica.

“Now that my secret of enjoying metal is out I suppose I’ll give you the wider selection of shit.” Steve says as he hops out of the car to only return from the trunk with a small box of cassettes. Filled with Metallica, AC/DC, Kiss, Ozzy and a bunch of used Black Sabbath tapes. “Just- avoid Black Sabbath. Still a sore spot for me.” Steve mumbles as they both sat in the car waiting patiently for Dustin to come out from school now. The schools bell had just gone off to the right of them. Neither of them caring about the joint, everyone did it at the school at this point.

It had been weeks sense Eddie’s figured the other out. Now he was kind of curious about what bandana the other would wear. That and if he’s honest he was falling for the way Steve would mouth the lyrics to Metallica. Sure he recognized that the only reason why the other got into it was because of his dead ex boyfriend, but he still felt a lot better now knowing there was one more person in town like him.

Eddie had continued to nag Steve about it for days now as they walk up to Harringtons house. Steve rolls his eyes before he turns on his heel. “Why munson? Why do you wanna know? To sleep with me? What?” Steve snaps a little but he’s leading the other to his bedroom still.

“I’m just curious.” Eddie grins. “Kind of curious about what, ‘king Steve’ is into.” He adds as Steve rolls his eyes.

“Fine, if I dress up just for you will you shut up?” Steve asks with a annoyed look and Eddie nods his head with a grin. The other disappears for a second returning out with a handful.

“There here’s all of them.” He huffs and Eddie looks surprised as he sees the amount there were. His eyebrows going up. Steve grunts, “Billy liked to wear bandanas a lot when he was in the mood for something and neither of us really stuck to one like you do. Um- yeah.” Steve says flustered as Eddie whistles.

“I don’t even know what some of these mean Harrington, and that’s saying something.” He says genuinely surprised. Steve shakes his head as he looks at him amused. “Well, most times I can fit three to four in my right pocket, and most guys do in California. Billy and I drove up a month before he passed and had a shit ton of fun. If you plan on leaving Hawkins and messing with it you should probably learn as many as you can.” Steve comments. Eddie can’t help but catch onto the other saying he wore his on the right. Though now it made sense for the other to be a bottom.

Steve smirks holding up his black one, “of course you know what black means.” He teases as he moves shoving it in his pocket as he continues lifting each one up. “Light blue means someone wants their dick sucked or wants to suck someone’s dick. The yellow pale was more of Billy, but it’s when someone’s into spitting on the giving or receiving end. Gold is where you have to use specific pockets and it’s normally asking for a threesome. Hunter green is the daddy kink, red means they want to fuck in the parking lot, the Leapord means the persons into tattoos and the teddy bear color is those who want to cuddle.” Steve explains to Eddie who’s eyebrows were raised up.

He hadn’t really gotten to dig to far into color meanings but now he knew he couldn’t help but tease the other. “You really are a kinky bastard.”

#stranger things #harringrove #bxb #steve x eddie #steddie #steveddie #steve and eddie #steveharrington #eddie munson

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