#which i will find a way to squeeze into whatever i'm writing haha

[pacifymebby]

I cry when people yell at me(parent issues™️) and I was wondering how the peakys would react to that, like I can handle most things but yelling is like a big nono for me, would they be concerned or tease me for that, I don't think they will but I'm interested on how they'll react to it for the first time it happens, or if I yell back for the first time? You just do a great job at writing these characters💛

( im sorry if this is too personal or whatever)

AN: not too personal my lovely dw, here at Pacifymebby dot Tumblr dot com we (me) totally specialise in ✨ fanfiction as therapy ✨ haha. Sorry these have taken me ages to do. I'm also a crier when men shout at me so I hope I've written this how you wanted!!!!

Tommy

🌿 Is genuinely very shocked when, mid argument, you start crying. You've seen so much worse than this, you've witnessed some terrible things because of him and his brothers, the fights they get into every week. Only last week you'd watched with as calm a demeanour as one could manage, whilst Arthur had a violent breakdown and smashed a chair up at the dinner table. You'd not shown a shred of fear. But now, here you are, silent, heartbreaking tears streaming down your face and why?

🌿 because Tommy raised his voice at you.

🌿 you couldn't even remember what you'd been arguing about now. You'd seen red and blue fear in your mind the second he'd raised his voice. You'd watched him lose his temper with you, his jaw tense, his face going red as he yelled at you, his expression so angry, so cold and unforgiving. And it had shocked you. Tommy had never raised his voice at you before. You'd seen him shout at his brothers but he'd never shouted at you.

🌿 and the sight of you suddenly drained of colour, your skin taking on that strange bloodless translucency as you starred back at him wide eyed and fearful... it shocks him. You're looking at him like you don't recognise him and suddenly there's a lump in his throat.

🌿 He reaches out for you but you flinch away from him, backing away slowly and then suddenly fleeing, running away, vision blurred by your tears. You don't really know where to go and you can here him calling after you, but his voice raised shouting down the hallway for you only makes it worse. Only adds to your fear.

🌿 you're certain that you're in trouble so you don't stop even when he calls after you. Thing is he hasn't even said he's sorry. Hasn't realised why you're running from him.

🌿 "Y/N love for fuck sake what're you doin... we need to talk about this... Y/n stop!"

🌿 He's chased you out to the gardens, still shouting, still not getting the hint... it's only when he shouts again, louder this time, screaming your name across the lawn that you freeze. His voice seems to shake the whole world and it strikes the fear of god into you. So you stop. And he thinks thats the problem solved, that you've stopped running away from him now so he can return to you and you can talk like grownups.

🌿 but when he gets closer to you you back away some more, and even when he warns you to wait for him you edge away. Every step he takes you take one back until you find yourself backed up against a tree, looking at him with all this fear in your eyes.

🌿 He's careful as he approaches, one arm out to you, trying to coax you back to him... he can see that something has absolutely terrified you but it's only when he gets close enough to touch you, only when he brings his hand up to fix your hair that he realises what you're scared of.

🌿 "Don't hurt me!" You gasp, eyes squeezed shut, your body rigid with fear as you bring your hands up to protect your face. And it's that which makes him realise. That movement, that fragile tremble in your voice as you beg him not to harm you that breaks his heart.

🌿 and the realisation hits him like a freight train, chokes him. He can't believe you're frightened of him. He can't believe it's him who has caused you all this terror. You're trembling, your hands shaking the way a rabbit shakes when it knows it's being hunted.

🌿 He let's out a sigh, closes his eyes and tried to steady his own shaken nerves. He doesn't want to scare you anymore.

🌿 "Y/n, angel listen to me girl, I'm not going to hurt you..." he says, his voice a gentle caress as he takes your trembling hands in his, draws them away from your face and places them on his chest. He holds then both to his heart underneath his hand and with the other he cups your cheek. Makes you look up at him, catches your tears with his thumb and brushes them away.

🌿 "I scared you," he says looking at you ever so mournfully, he feels so guilty and you can see the hurt in his eyes. It just makes you feel worse and you shake your head trying to apologise. You can feel his heart beating beneath your hands, it's racing, his adrenaline too high and you feel guilty yourself because you made him angry.

🌿 "I'm.. I'm so sorry Tommy I made you angry I shouldn't have pissed you off its not..." but he cuts you off, finger pressed to your lips to hush you as he steps closer to you, his body so close to yours that you have to tilt your head back to look up at him. His head is bowed to look down at you.

🌿 "Shh now angel I'm talkin yeah, my turn to talk now eh so listen to me..." he's being ever so gentle, his hand holding your hip, the other tucking your hair behind your ear and stroking your cheek. He doesn't look harsh or sharp anymore, instead of anger his eyes are full of love. "Don't you apologise to me sweetheart, please don't do that... I'm sorry I shouted at you angel, shouldn't have done that but listen to me now eh cause this is important..."

🌿 You can't take your eyes off him, you're still shaking, still crying, your hearts still racing, but you're not frightened anymore. He's looking down at you with such an intense honesty, you can see the remorse in his eyes when he talks to you in that sweet gentle voice.

🌿 "I will never hurt you alright, I promise... even if I'm angry yeah, even if we're havin a blazing bloody row, I won't ever lay a finger on you like that sweetheart, I won't ever hurt you.."

🌿 You'd probably start crying all over again, burying your face in his chest, feeling his arms wrap around you and hold you tight. His hand stroking your back as he bows his head to place a kiss on yours. He'd cradle your head against his body and rest his chin in your hair. Close his eyes, hold onto you tight and treasure the feeling of you in his arms.

🌿 "You really fuckin scared me Tommy..." you'd sniffle struggling to calm yourself down.

🌿 "I know angel, I know and I'm really fuckin sorry alright..."

Alfie

🐻 He didn't mean to shout, Alfie's never raised his voice at you before because he doesn't believe in shouting at women and girls. He has a very firm, traditional view on that and he's stubborn about it too. No swearing, shouting and hitting women and girls.

🐻 The only reason he shouted is because he panicked, you were wandering around in a daydream so you hadn't noticed the tension in the bakery when you'd entered through the back door on your way to see your beloved. Tommy Shelby had just left, informing Alfie that he'd set up a trip wire to ensure his safety, that if he tugged on the string in his hand he would pull the pin from a grenade which would blow up half the bakery, starting a monstrous fire which would probably kill all inside. All those barrels of rum would go up in flames.

🐻 And you were one step from tripping that string which Tommy had tied to the leg of Alfies desk all, "I'll let you deal with this, have a think about what I've said whilst you work eh, careful though, its a delicate procedure..."

🐻 So when he'd seen you Alfie hadn't thought twice, shouting "Y/N stop! Stay there, fuckin don't move!" and luckily you'd frozen. Your body going rigid as the fear struck you like lightning.

🐻 He'd startled you for sure but more than that the sound of his voice ricochetting around the room, the voice of a man who was usually so tender and gentle with you, always so protective of you.. He'd never spoken to you like that and hearing it now struck ice cold fear into the very bones of you.

🐻 Alfie doesn't even notice at first, doesn't notice how you've gone white as a sheet, can't even move, he's too worried about that wire, too busy trying to work out what to do. Hoping there's a chance Tommy was bullshitting him. Hoping that actually there's nothing to fear.

🐻 And poor you, you're just stood there, hand clutched over your mouth starring at your love in shock. You don't know what to do because you don't want to embarrass yourself by bursting into tears over a little shouting, but you already know it's too late. Alfie really scared you, and he's never scared you before.

🐻 So you can't hold it back, you're trembling all over with the effort of fighting your tears, some have already escaped, you've swallowed down a sob already but it's the fact that Alfie's not even looking at you. The way he shouted at you so sharply, so harshly, and he isn't even looking at you now. You're struggling to reason with your own anxiety, convinced that you've done something wrong, that he hates you...

🐻 but then he hears it. The sound of your choked sob, one you'd tried and failed to hold back. And once the first escapes the damn breaks and you're in floods of tears. You don't move, frozen to the spot but your hands are over your face and your crying so mournfully that the sound sends an icy shard through Alfie's heart. Suddenly the hidden explosive is the least of his worries.

🐻 "Fuck," he grumbles to himself, telling himself off for snapping at you, "gentle Alfie what have I fuckin told you man, sometimes yeah you have to be fuckin gentle..." he's grumbling to himself as he reassesses his predicament. He knows he needs to get to you and get you to safety but he knows he can't get to you without risking your safety.

🐻 So he sighs. "Ziskeit, my dear, y/n poppet I'm sorry yeah, didn't mean to shout at you ziskeit, didn't mean to shout.. that was just me you know... panickin right, but I shouldn't have shouted at you yeah lovely girl I'm sorry..." he's making his way towards you very slowly and very carefully, talking soft and gentle, hands out because he doesn't want to startle you. His eyes flickering with concern between you and the wire you almost tripped.

🐻 "See my ziskeit, down there right by your feet yeah, there's a wire right and I need you to be very careful cause it's very dangerous yeah..." he doesn't want to scare you more than he already has but he also doesn't want you to move and accidentally set it off.

🐻 When he finally gets to you he doesn't hesitate to wrap his big arms around you and give you the warmest, tightest bear hug. He holds you firm against his chest, strokes your hair and cradles your head, burying your face in the crook of his neck. His beards tickley on your cheek and you're all wrapped up in the comfort of his musky scent.

🐻 "There, there my little ziskeit, s'alright now yeah, your Alfie's got you my darlin an he ain't lettin you go.."

🐻 He takes your hands from your face, won't let you hide and then he wipes your tears away with his thumbs. You can't just turn the waterworks off though and the tears keep coming.

🐻 Alfie feels so guilty.

🐻 But he'd hold your face in his hands and put his forehead against yours, looking down into your watery wounded eyes with such an intense devotion.

🐻 "Didn't mean to scare you poppet, please don't be scared now yeah, I'm here, I love you... I didn't mean to shout."

🐻 He'd probably call Ollie or one of his trusted men for help, he'd be instructing them on how to undo and disarm Tommy's trap, all the while still holding you and hushing you. The contrast between the way he barks orders at his men and then turns to you with the most tender, soft voice, shushing you and stroking your hair.

🐻 Promises he'll never shout at you again, but also, because he knows what he's like he also promises that if he does raise his voice at you, it won't be because he's angry and it won't be because he hates you. It'll be because he'd a stupid old man who forgets himself sometimes.

🐻 You'd sniffle, this shy smile on your lips as you tell him "you're not a stupid old man..." and he'd just chuckle, kiss your nose and brush your hair away from your tear stained cheeks, probably catching another tear on his thumb. "I am for making my ziskeit cry, but, you have my word now don't you girl, ain't ever gonna make you cry again..."

🐻 It's a big promise but Alfie is truly devoted to you and so protective of you that he really does hold it against himself forever. He's always viewed himself as your protector so the idea that you were scared of him is horrifying to him. He really does intend to keep his promise.

🐻 Will set a rule in the bakery and the warehouses that if you're around nobody is to raise their voice for any reason. He'll spin some bullshit about how it's very fucking rude and inconsiderate to shout when there are women and children present. If anyone breaks that rule Alfie will not hesitate to silence them in his own special way.

Arthur

🍂 It's probably not the first time this has happened let's be real here, this is probable not even the first time this has happend this week...

🍂 Arthur's emotions aren't exactly the easiest thing to endure... for either of you. He has a quick temper and he doesn't know how to express himself. If he's scared he turns to violence, if he's upset, he turns to violence, if he's angry, violence... even when he's happy or excited something usually gets broken, he usually forgets himself, talks too loudly... shouts...

🍂 And even though you're used to Arthur and his loud, uncontrollable and often unpredictable ways, you've never been able to get used to his yelling. You've always been easily startled and people yelling, raised voices has always set you on edge. And when someone shouts at you well, you always cry. You can't help yourself and you feel so stupid for it sometimes too... especially when it's Arthur who has made you cry because you know you should be used to it by now. You know what he's like... when he shouts and you start crying you always feel like a stupid child who can't control her own emotions.

🍂 But Arthur understands how that feels. It's not like he can control his either...

🍂 So of all the Blinders Arthur is the most sympathetic. It's not just that he feels terribly guilty for making you cry, it's that he hates how bad about yourself it makes you feel too and he wants you to learn not to be so hard on yourself.

🍂 So, he's always trying his best not to shout, for whatever reason... sometimes he comes home ecstatic about something that happened at the Garrison, he's half way through shouting through the house for you when he cuts himself off.

🍂 "Nah what have I fuckin told you Arthur Shelby, indoor voice for y/n, nice, gentle indoor voice..."

🍂 But of course this is Arthur and no matter how hard he tries he forgets himself and loses control on the regular. And when he does you also lose control... Arthur is an intimidating man at the best of times and when he shouts he is so fucking scary... especially when he's shouting because he's angry, and especially if he's shouting because he's arguing with you...

🍂 When that happens you probably don't just cry, you burst into tears, really dramatically... you'd shrink away from him, curl up on the floor crying your heart out, shaking, sobbing into your skirts and then when he realises what he's done it hits him in the gut and he does cold, panicks. He feels so guilty for scaring you again and rushes to try and hug.

🍂 Gets down there on the floor with you and bundles you up in his arms. His whole demeanor changes in an instant, all the fight knocked out of him in seconds as he rushed to comfort you.

🍂 Cradles you to his chest, rocking you to sooth you as he apologises over and over again. "For fuck sake darlin come here, fuckin 'ell I'm such a bloody idiot, I'm sorry my darlin I'm fuckin so sorry alright... didnt mean to scare you girl, y'know I love you don't I, ain't gonna hurt you, didn't mean to scare you just forgot meself that's all, you're alright my girl, I've got you eh, your Arthur loves you very much an he's very fuckin sorry for being such a fuckin dinlow eh..."

🍂 You'd be clutching at his shirt, sobbing into his chest, doing your best to calm yourself down, mentally chastising yourself for being so stupid because you know he didn't mean it, you know it was an accident, that you're safe with Arthur, that he won't ever hurt you... but even so, he scared you so much...

🍂 you'd push yourself up in his lap and try to wipe your tears away, probably trying to pull away from him and act as though everything was fine even though all you want to do is nestle deeper into his embrace and hold onto him until your heart stops racing.

🍂 And Arthur knows you well enough to recognise what you're doing so he isn't going to just let you go and pretend you're fine.

🍂 "Right now where dya think you're goin darlin..." he'd start, catching your hand and tugging you back into his lap, his arm locking around your waist, the other hand using his sleeve to dry your eyes. "Look at me yeah, got all the time in the world eh so I don't know what you're rushin off for darlin..."

🍂 "S'alright I'm alright now Arth was just being stupid wasn't I, you didn't scare me it's fine just bein..." but he'd cut you off shaking his head, giving you that frown which means 'dont give me all that rot y/n, I know you.'

🍂 "Nah," he'd say, "now don't start with all that shit now darlin, not wi me eh, I did scare you and you ain't stupid for bein scared neither... you ain't stupid at all..." "but..." when you try to argue he holds your face in both hands, your nose pressed up against his, his scruffy hair tickling your cheek as he gets right up close to you. His eyes are so intense when they lock with yours. "No buts now sweetheart, I fuckin scared you, I know I did and I'm fuckin sorry for it too... I'm the one who lost control so I'm the one who has to apologise right love, so I'm fuckin sorry yeah sweetheart, I hate scaring you an I never wanna do it again yeah... need to start using me fuckin brain eh love..."

🍂 But you hate seeing him put himself down so you're there holding his face in your hands too, looking up at him with such intensity, such stubbornness, it would be infuriating for him if he didn't currently feel so guilty. "You're not a fuckin idiot Arthur... don't call yourself stupid alright..."

🍂 For you and Arthur these scenes always end in the most loving of embraces, him holding you tight against him, you sitting in his lap on the floor, the two of you holding onto one another so carefully, so lovingly, your eyes locking as you tell eachother again how much you love one another. Your lips meeting in a desperate adoring kiss. One neither of you want to pull away from.

🍂 "Fuckin love you my darlin, don't even mean to upset you eh, I'll try harder yeah, Indoor voice from now I promise..." he says in as close to a whisper as Arthur Shelby can manage, kissing your face all over. Kissing away the last of your tears.

🍂 He always promises he won't shout at you again, you always promise you'll stop crying when he does. Both of you know that in a couple days time you'll be going over the whole routine again.

John

🌼 For all that John is a very laidback man, he has a temper on him and he has a very strict sense of morals, right and wrong (despite all of his moral activities) and when he feels strongly about something he will argue about it... and he has a temper on him.

🌼 When he loses his temper things can get messy, too emotional... He doesn't usually lose him temper with you though and so when he does it comes as even more of a shock.

🌼 He doesn't mean to start shouting at you, he already knows you don't deal well with it... Your voices have both been raising slowly as the arguments been escalating and when he finally starts really shouting you shout right back...

🌼 He didn't even realise he'd shouted until he heard your voice shouting back... suddenly cracking because you're trembling, because you've been fighting back your tears and they've just escaped.

🌼 He sees the tears streaming down your face and realises that you aren't even shouting because you're angry, your shout was one of fear. A "Stop it! Stop fucking shouting at me John fucking stop it!" Your hands over your ears as you shout at him from across the kitchen table, your eyes desperate with heartache and fear.

🌼 For a second you're looking at him with real upset and shock, like you don't recognise him at all, like he isn't your John anymore...

🌼 He feels terrible. He's gripped with guilt, a pain in his throat squeezing and aching, he's choked up by tears in his own eyes. Sometimes feelings are too big and John can't handle them.

🌼 Views himself as being the good family man, a loving, caring husband, a protective father, the man who looks after everyone, provides for them, so the idea that he could have done to his wife the one things she really can't handle, disgusts him. He's really disappointed in himself and he's determined to make it up to you.

🌼 He'd raise his hands up in surrender, his eyes full of guilt, his cheeks a little flushed as a tear escapes his eye, he's stepping away from the table, approaching you cautiously.

🌼 "Am sorry flower, I'm sorry..." his voice is wobbling but he's talking quietly now, as if lowering his voice like this is going to make up for the violence of his shouting at you moments before... and it does a little, or at least, his sudden effort to be gentle and careful calms you, lets you know you're not in danger.

🌼 He'll wrap his arms around you carefully, waiting for you to come to him, waiting for you to let him hold you. But when you feel the outline of his embrace you crumble, throwing your arms around him, sobbing into his neck as he closes his hold around you a little tighter, keeping you secure.

🌼 He'll hush you and rock you, doing his best to calm you down, all the while apologising for losing his temper.

🌼 "I'm so sorry little flower, I shouldn't have shouted at you, shouldn't have lost me temper that was fuckin stupid of me wasn't it..."

🌼 Lots of kissing your hair and your forehead. Will hold you as long as you need to calm down.

🌼 Will wipe your tears and tap your nose. Will hold your face in both his hands, thumbs brushing over your cheeks, forehead to forehead promising you very passionately that he'll never shout at you like that again. You can see it in his eyes how strongly he feels, he's got tears in his eyes and he's perhaps crying a little too. He's talking but his jaw is clenched and the words are forced through his teeth so they come out really shaky but certain.

🌼 You catching his tears on your thumbs and brushing them away. The two of you eventually smiling at that, making a little joke about how over emotional you both are.

🌼 If you try to apologise for having cried, or if you try to joke about your tears, how silly it was of you to cry just because he shouted at you he will shake his head, cut you off all "no, no... no way flower, you ain't silly for cryin, you ain't supposed to like bein shouted at and your husband definitely ain't supposed to be shoutin at you like that neither..."

🌼 He'll be extra sweet to you for many days to come, bringing you flowers, talking particularly gently to you too. Lots of affection, hugs, kisses, holding your hand whenever he can, layering it on thick so that you know he still loves you... he knows how sensitive you are and knows that you'll still be worrying about the argument days later, so he'll do as much as he can to show you he loves you.

🌼 Once during a particularly heated family meeting Tommy shouted down the table at you for something you said, John was livid, white as a sheet with rage as he put his arms around you and stood protectively behind you. He was glaring so sharply his stare could have sliced Tommy open. Later you heard them scrapping when everyone else had left.

Bonnie

🍀 Bonnie is such a calm lad, he never shouts even when he's threatening other people. He's not the kind of man who raises his voice unless he really has to, he's usually the quietly threatening, controlled anger, spitting his threats through gritted teeth, not yelling...

🍀 It would take one hell of an argument, you'd both be feeling fragile and desperate, both of you shaking with he strength of the heartache and distress you're feeling.

🍀 Whatever you're fighting about it's been brewing for awhile so you both have so many thoughts, so many troubled feelings you need to get off your chest...

🍀 And when he does shout its because he feels a sudden panic, has a sudden fear that he will never be able to explain himself, never be able to make you understand... it's a truly desperate shout, almost a plea... "Would you just listen to me for a second love I'm trying to..."

🍀But he doesn't even finish the sentence, the second he realises he's yelled at you he feels a wee bit sick, his hands shaking and suddenly he can't speak at all. He's watching you, you're frozen, starring back at him with these terrifyingly sad wide eyes...

🍀 he can see he's just broken your heart.

🍀 For a moment theres silence, you're just starring back at him in shock, he's watching you, scared to move or say another word because if he does he's worried something between you will break. That you're both hanging on by a thread.

🍀 And when the thread snaps and you come back to life, your hand rising to cover your mouth and catch your sob, your eyes closing as your whole body shivers with the effort of fighting back tears, Bonnie watches you with this hollow weight in his stomach, this cold lump of guilt.

🍀 Swallows a lump in his throat, his voice quiet and shaky when he speaks again.

🍀 "Fuck, fuck I'm so sorry dove... don't cry, don't cry dove I'm sorry," he's speaking softly, hesitant to try and hug you because he saw the fear in your eyes and he's not sure you want him to come any closer now. "Please forgive me y/n I'm sorry, can I..." he trails off reaching for your hand, tugging you gently into his arms.

🍀Whatever you were fighting about it simultaneously ceases to matter to him and also becomes completely unsolvable...he's scared youre never going to look at him the same way again. He's supposed to be your man, your protector, the one person you can always trust and now he's let you down, he's scared you... he really resents himself for that, can't forgive himself for scaring you.

🍀"I'm sorry little dove," he'd whisper, his voice soothing, his breath brushing your cheek as he promises he won't shout like that again, "s'okay sweetpea, s'alright..." but he doesn't feel like its alright.

🍀 He'll hold you as snug as he can, but carefully too, treating you extra delicately, he's really hesitant to hug you too tightly or kiss you in case you're scared of him now.

🍀 "Don't be scared of my dove, you're breakin me heart," he says it with a teasing little smile, trying to get a giggle from you or something but you can hear the heartbreak in his voice and you know he's really telling the truth.

🍀 When you settle down a little you nuzzle into him, "Sorry Bon..." you sniffle trying to dry your eyes, caught out and speechless when he catches your hands in his and, strokes his thumbs over your palms. "What you sayin sorry for eh sweetpea? Am the one whose sayin sorry now..." he chuckles, holding your palm up to his lips and kissing your hands.

🍀 Even if you feel better quickly, soothed by Bonnie's sweetness, he won't feel better about it. The guilt will stick with him for a long time, one of those memories that comes back in the middle of the night and makes him cringe.

🍀 He's extra soft with you for the rest of the day and the morning after too, treating you like he's scared you're going to break. He speaks quietly and gently and he'll treat you with such tenderness, holding you at every opportunity, holding your hand even if you're just sitting together. Any excuse to kiss you or tell you he loves you.

🍀 Because he knows how upset you get when someone yells at you, if anyone else ever makes you cry by raising their voice at you Bonnie's fierce protective side will snap and he will be raring to defend you. You have had to talk him down from fights because of this.

Isaiah

🐀 He'll be so shocked when you start crying... he's seen you witness so much "worse" than shouting before... so he really wasn't expecting you to burst into tears when a drunk man at the bar raised his voice at you. He turns with a frown, brows tugged in in confusion as he blinks at you struggling to process the sight of you with tears streaking your face. He honestly didn't think anything could phase you...

🐀 For a second he's stunned but he soon snaps into action... "For fuck sake man now look what you've done!" He groans turning to the man behind your tears, "gone and made me girl cry ain't you... now I have to hurt ya..." he says with a cruel grin, as if he hadn't been intending on hurting the stupid cunt who'd been eyeing his girl up with lecherous eyes all evening anyway. "Don't get me wrong like... I wanted to anyway yeah, you've just given me a good excuse..."

🐀 Once he's satisfied he's fucked the stupid bastard up enough, he turns his attention back to you. He's not expecting to see you still crying, in fact he'd kind of been hoping he'd just imagined it, been hoping he was just going crazy like Arthur... but he isn't, and you are still crying.

🐀 And Isaiah isn't good with crying girls, doesn't know what to do about all those tears, feels totally at a loss.. especially because he's never seen you cry before.

🐀 will try to joke about it, not teasing you harshly, just making a little joke about how 'easily' scared it turns out you are... "You had me fooled mousy..."

🐀 This earns him a pretty firm slap from Ado who's jaw has just hit the floor... "Fuck sake dinlow whatre you doing making it bloody worse!" She'd be all arms crossed and shaking her head, muttering about how men these days are all the fucking stupid same.

🐀 but her slaps gotten through to Isaiah at least who is looking at you now with a somewhat more awkward smile, but he takes your hand and offers you a hug. This is the most stunted a conversation with Isaiah could possibly be and you're beginning to feel a whole different kind of anxious.

🐀 "Right for fuck sake, I've had enough of this.." Ada cuts in, "you.. give your girlfriend a fuckin hug alright," she'd say pointing at Isaiah and then pointing at you, "and you.. god sake girl get yourself a better fuckin boyfriend eh?"

🐀 "Alright Ada piss off yeah I've got her, she's alright now ain't you mousy..." Isaiah would groan, he's embarrassed by Ada pointing out his flaws but hes showing it as frustration instead. He will take her advice onboard however, he isn't that stupid.

🐀 He'll put his arm around your shoulder and squeeze you into his side steering you outside for a cigarette and some cool night air. He knows you'll be embarrassed about crying so he wants to take you somewhere quiet.

🐀 "Sorry for laughing at you doll you just took me by surprise... ain't like you is it... crying..." he'll say gently, he's sharing a cigarette with you, taking a drag or two and then placing it between your lips carefully. This is something he only does when he's trying to make you feel extra close and cosy with him.

🐀 He's quite curious about it, wants to understand why you cried, wants to know what it is about raised voices that you just can't deal with. And this curiosity isn't so that he can mock you, it's so that he can help you. He never wants to see you cry like that again so he wants to help you get over your fear...

🐀 He will offer you lots of reassurance, "you know I'm always here for you love, won't ever let anyone hurt you yeah... so even if someone does shout at you you ain't got nothin to be scared of yeah?"

🐀 He'll remind you that now you're with the Peaky Blinders you're always going to have someone near by to protect you. That men like "that cunt inside" will think twice about raising their voice at you...

🐀 Will hold your hand for the rest of the night, giving it reassuring squeezes at seemingly random moments. His affections will be subtle but constant all night and he'll make sure you feel safe.

🐀 If ever he shouts when you're nearby he'll remember himself quickly, apologising to you as soon as he can, making sure you're alright. If other Peaky lads chastise him for this he'll sock them round the back of the head no hesitations.

🐀 He's too easy going and because he doesn't want to shout at you, he avoids arguments like the plague, he'd rather just let most things slide until an issue absolutely has to be addressed because he's worried that if he gets swept into a row with you he won't be able to stop himself from losing his temper. He isn't sure yet whether this tactic is going to serve him well.

Michael

☘️ Its a heated argument, one which really give meaning to the phrase "blazing row." You and Michael are both furious with one another over a disagreement which has been stewing and bubbling away for weeks. One about Tommy Shelby and the unreasonable pressure he puts on his younger cousin.

☘️ When the row started it was because you wanted Michael to stand up to his cousin, you'd tried to encourage him to put his foot down, to start saying no every now and then when Tommy's demands crossed boundaries, but Michael didn't want to. he said you didn't understand the family, that you were sticking your nose into something which doesn't concern you.

☘️ And because you care so much about Michael you can't let go, won't back down. And because he cares about you and doesn't want you winding up in trouble Michael refuses to back down too. And thats how you end up screaming at one another in the middle of breakfast one morning.

☘️ He's so angry he doesn't notice that you aren't just shouting to match his fierce temper. He doesn't notice that you're trembling all over, that your cheeks are flushed and your eyes are wide and white - more like a deer in the headlights than a dragon.

☘️ The argument would peak with you unleashing all your fear and hurt, all your desperation into one shattering scream, "Leave me alone Michael for fuck sake leave me alone!" you shout over your shoulder when you go running off into the garden and he follows. HE doesn't listen however and it takes you picking a rock up and throwing it in his direction for him to get the message and let you go.

☘️ You run away for the rest of the day, go disappearing down the lane storming into the park up the street, finding a bench or a tree to sit beneath, hugging your knees to your chest and sobbing into your skirts.

☘️ Meanwhile at home Michael is pissed off, pacing, getting angry, damaging furniture as his temper gets the better of him. He's fuming, he can't get his head around why you ran away. Why you were so upset. . He thinks you behaved childishly and doesn't understand why you ran off like a little girl...

☘️ It takes you both a long time to calm down and when you do you really don't want to go back to the house, so you go to Polly's instead, you don't tell her about the row but you drink tea with her and wait for Michael to turn up. (Pol assures you he always comes to her when you've been fighting)

☘️ And when he does show up that evening he's been drinking whiskey and his mood is bitter and self pitying.

☘️ "Let me guess Michael my boy, you and y/n had a row... she got upset, she ran away, she..." "Came here," he smirks shaking his head with a small self deprecating smile, "hiya love..."

☘️ He won't apologise for shouting because you were shouting too, and because Michael never apologises for anything. But he will pour the two of you some tea and try to talk to you a little more softly than before.

☘️ "You worried me love, running away from me like that...gave me a scare..." "You were shouting at me," you shrug sullenly. He would be struggling not to let his temper flare again. "You were shouting at me too to be fair love... and anyway, you're not a little girl are you, you don't run away from someone just for shouting..."

☘️ You'd bristle, getting defensive, fresh tears glossing your eyes then, a painful lump in your throat when you realise he doesn't understand and maybe isn't going to.

☘️ "No," you say, voice catching in your throat, "but what kind of man likes screaming at his girl?" When you ask him that he won't be able to ignore the guilt he feels. He'll be struggling to swallow down the lump in his throat too and he'll reach for your hand across the table, brush his thumb over your knuckles as he looks you in the eyes, tries to find an unspoken equilibrium between the two of you. Something to two of you can hold onto despite your differences.

☘️ "Alright," he says finally, let's out a little sigh and squeezes your hand. "No more shouting eh how does that sound?"

☘️ When you nod your head, your smile forming slow but wide, he mirrors your warm expression and leans back in his chair, tugs your hand across the table so that you'll stand and come sit down in his lap.

☘️ "No more shouting it is then y/n," he says holding your waist in his hands, feeling closer to you at last, enjoying the comfort of your familiar shape beneath his hands. He'll point to his cheek then all, "come on love, give us a kiss eh? Forgive me?" and he'll wait until you do lean in to place a kiss on his cheek before he catches yours in his palm and steers your mouth towards his.

AN/ hope these were what you were hoping for lovely, I honestly am not sure I've done your request justice but I don't think I can write much more so sorry about that :/

Taglist:

@jomarch-wannabe @zablife @call-sign-shark @marwwfairy@toddlerbodybag@mollybegger-blog@inalovesrabbits-blog @elina-777@impossibleheartflower@liliac-dreamer@everysage@itsghostgirlyo

[astarionxhappiness]

Astarion going to a nearby stream to bathe to stumble upon a naked and very embarrassed Tav who had similar ideas? 😛

A/N Well, This one really got away from me haha! But I hope it is to your liking. Thank you for the request! I had a ton of fun writing this <3 Word count: Little over 6,000 Warnings: Smut. Handjob. Some fingering. Astarion should probably be a warning in of himself, let's be honest here. And some fluff to sprinkle on top.

It had been a very long day of traveling, and the sun was starting to wane by the time the tents finally went up.

You had just reached the end of the mountain pass, setting up in a small valley that was, to your great pleasure, a very close travel to a hot spring a little ways into the woods.

The others had already had their turn bathing and enjoying the hot water, each taking turns to finish the work while still getting to enjoy the relaxing waters. And now, it was your turn to finally slip away. You informed Shadowheart of your leaving, feeling her squeeze your arm in fond passing as you headed off. You could hear the crickets starting to come alive as you trapsed towards your greatly anticipated destination.

Already you could feel the tension of a hard day's work leaving your shoulders the closer you got.

You let out a relieved sigh as you laid eyes on the large spring, watching a light layer of mist dancing across the top where the hot water met the cool evening air.

You moved over to the edge of it, finding a large rock to sit on and place your clothes and towel down.

You made quick work of brushing out your hair before standing to work on stripping off your clothes, dropping your weapon down beside the pile.

You let out a sigh as you shut your eyes, slipping down into the water until it reached just below your nose, letting your head hang back slightly as you let it take away the chill of the early spring air.

You were left peacefully for only a few minutes before the sound of rustling alerted you to the presence of something close by.

Staying almost completely submerged, you opened your eyes wearily as you looked around, though nothing out of the ordinary met your inquisitive gaze.

You took in a deep breath, assuming it to be nothing more than a rabbit, or perhaps a rodent of some kind. Whatever it was, it made very little noise.

You slipped under the water completely, eyes falling shut as you lingered like this for a time before coming back up, taking in a gasping breath.

you flipped your hair back behind you, wiping the water from your eyes before allowing them to come open as you stood up.

"Fuck!" You cried out in alarm when you looked over to see a tall pale figure leaning against a tree off to your right near the water, though far enough away that he was not easily attacked.

A smart move, on his part.

The pale elf's lips curled into a smirk as your cheeks went bright red, hands coming to cover yourself as best as possible.

"Astarion! What are you doing out here?" You demanded."How long have you been standing there??" You added with equally vehement embarrassment.

"I assure you my intentions were nothing more than pure, darling," he assured. "I merely came to bathe myself-" He waved a gesturing hand to his upper half, which you realized only then was devoid of clothing. "Though, I have to admit, darling" He went on, that infuriatingly self-approving smile never leaving his lips. "I'm afraid I cannot say I am disappointed in finding the waters already occupied. . "

His words made you only blush harder, though you kept your head stuck up with indignant determination.

"You still didn't answer my question," You stated, ignoring the flirtations that made your cheeks heat up further (a reaction Astarion did not fail to notice).

He chuckled, moving closer so he could lower his voice without causing difficulty for you to hear.

"Oh, not too long, I assure you, my sweet." He moved ever closer, curious to see if you would shrink back, or stay stubbornly in place in all your naked glory.

He was pleased to find it was ladder.

"As I said. . I just came to enjoy the water, darling." He lowered his tone to a smooth purr as he got closer to you, listening to your breath hitch slightly from the proximity, all too aware that your ass was on perfect display due to the angle at which he approached.

you couldn't help your gaze slipping down to glimpse at his finely chiseled chest, your mind wandering to what it might look like dripping wet. .

You bit your lip absently, then belatedly realized that the object of your involuntary lust was right in front of you with two perfectly functioning eyes.

He smiled more, your look not going unnoticed by the vampire spawn.

"I am happy to share the waters if you'd like, darling," He went on, stepping closer to you. "After all, it is always more fun with two. . " It was then that you deemed the close proximity a little too close, and took a flustered step backwards, huffing as you did so. You watched as he laughed, seeming to be enjoying his teasing quite a bit.

"You go on the other side," You decided, gesturing with your head. "I am almost finished anyways I suppose, and I don't imagine a slothful vampire spawn such as yourself would really want to make the journey all the way back to camp just to come right back in ten minutes." Your vague insult to his laziness made him feign offense, his hand coming up over his heart.

"And yet, you would make me travel all the way to the other side of the spring?" The objection that his offense seemed to zero in on took you off guard, making your hands nearly falter in covering yourself. He smiled as he noted your surprise.

"Very well. . But if you change your mind . ." He stepped closer, moving in a way that had your shoulders nearly brushing, causing your breath to stutter distractedly as his head leaned to the side lazily, his lids lulling as he looked at you. ". . I'm but a call away, beautiful." He sauntered on the edge of the water line, his back turned to you as he walked off to his designated part of the spring.

You shut your eyes, taking a moment to regain yourself mentally.

You had thus far managed to resist his flirtatious temptations, but lately you had found your resolve slowly. . Faltering.

You melted back down under the water, unable to help your eyes wandering over to his form, his back still turned to you as he finished taking off the rest of his clothing.

You quickly averted your gaze just as he began to turn, listening to the shifting of the water as he stepped into it.

You sunk down absently, unable to help one more glance once he was seated, water covering him from the mid torso and down. When you saw him not looking at you, your quick glance became a rude stare.

His back was resting against a large rock, the top of his head resting against it as well, showing off his jaw at an angle that only sharpened and defined it more. . His strong arms were stretched out, resting comfortably against the edge of the same rock.

You slipped down further absentmindedly in your sport as you played with your hair, ever distracted. So distracted, in fact, that you did not realize that going down any further than you already had been would lead to you inhaling water.

You came back up choking, trying to clear the invasion from your lungs and sinuses, making Astarion lift his head to look at you inquisitively.

You cursed his ability to see so well in the shrouded evening light, knowing full well he would be able to make out the embarrassment etched on to every inch of your face.

"Doing alright other there, love?" He asked. "Do you need someone to come hold you to help you avoid drowning?"

You gave him a death glare as you continued choking and coughing up the last bits of water.

"It wouldn't be a problem if-" You cut off, looking away as you continued to clear your throat.

"If? I'm sorry, darling. You really are quite far away, I'm afraid I can't hear you very well." The words were a lie to say the least, and the smile on his face told you he was fully aware of this fact.

Still, you found yourself for some reason taking the bait.

"If you are that hard of hearing, then by all means, come closer." The words left your mouth dryly.

"Well, if you insist. . " Your eyes widened as he began to rise from his spot, your head quickly turning just as his waist appeared from the water that kept him covered.

You absently pulled your knees up to cover your body self consciously, keeping your head turned as you listened all too intently to the sound of the elf approaching you with all the confidence of a whore in a brothel.

You felt your cheeks heating up again as he settled but a few feet to your left. "Well, that's better," He said, letting out a sigh as if winded from the journey. "I can hear you much better now. "Well then, what were we talking about, my sweet?"

You cleared your throat, looking over at him and freezing to find him even closer than you had anticipated.

He was already looking looking back at you, locking eyes instantly. You swallowed thickly, lips parting slightly, intending to speak, but finding yourself too distracted to actually get anything out. He was doing nothing to cover himself beneath the water, as you were doing yourself. You did everything in your power to ignore this knowledge, continuing to lock eyes with him as if scared you would have no control to where your gaze went if you broke the contact. "Something on your mind, darling?" He asking with false innocence, turning his upper half to face you, giving you his full and undivided attention.

You cleared your throat, mouth shutting as you looked away, blushing harder.

"You are just- very naked," You found yourself saying, as if he wasn't aware of this fact. A shiver ran down your spine listening to him laugh.

"Well, as are you, darling" He pointed out, his tone never losing that velvety note that worked so well to pull you in.

He shifted a bit closer, the water softly sloshing around his body as he did so.

"You know, I have always found it easier to bathe with someone," He went on, sounding more casual and matter-of-fact this time.

"Perhaps, so long as we are here together- we could . . Be of use to one another, hm? What do you say, beautiful? Assuming you could keep your embarrassment in check, that is," He smiled teasingly, making you look over at him.

"Be of use to one another?" You repeated, deadpanned.

"Hmm, yes." He gave a nod, going on to explain as he edged a little closer. "I could wash your back, you could wash mine. . What do you say, darling? I think this arrangement would work quite nicely." he ended the sentence with little space between you.

You bit your lip, staring at him distractedly.

". . just backs," You replied uncertainly, not entirely sure why you were agreeing to this ludicrous offer.

He smiled, fangs showing as his gaze fell absently to your lips, then back up to meet your gaze.

"As you wish," He replied readily.

"And, if you decide you'd like me to wash other parts of you . . I could always be easily swayed." You went to look down when your embarrassment got to you again, flushing violently as you quickly rethought this action and instead hung your head back to stare up at the sky.

"Just- shut up and turn around, you filthy elf," You replied with lightheartedness despite the obvious sheepishness you were feeling. He grinned, doing as he was told.

You grabbed the supplies you had set beside you on the dry ground, taking a cloth and bar of soap in either hand.

"I hope you intend to get your hair wet by the end of this," You commented as you went to work on his shoulders, eyes gazing down at the horrific scars painting his back. the sight of them always made your stomach churn.

Despite your somewhat combative and teasing relationship, you cared about Astarion a great deal. To think about all he had went through. . It made you dream about getting to inflict similar horrors upon Cazador.

"You are free to clean whatever part of me you'd like, my sweet." His teasing comment snapped you from your distracting thoughts, making you nudge his shoulder.

"Was this your actual plan?" You mused. "Walk in on me bathing so that you could get me to wash you so you wouldn't have to do the work yourself?" You couldn't see his face, but you knew he was smiling at the question.

"That would be quite a brilliant plan, wouldn't it? You do have a certain way about you, darling. Your touch is quite thrilling to experience, should one be so lucky to have the opportunity." You hesitated in your motions for a moment, biting your lip before continuing on, absently rubbing his muscles as you worked, easing the tension in his body.

You heard a soft gasp leave his lips as his head hung forward, making you hesitate once more in your motions.

"Did that hurt?" You ask, looking him over uncertainly.

"Quite the contrary, in fact," He breathed.

You can't help but smile to yourself, wordlessly starting again. The two of you fell into an amicable silence, an occurrence that was quite strange to experience with the vampire.

The only sounds that filled the air was the occasional gentle sighs of pleasure from him as you worked.

You got rather caught up in the sensation, his cool skin feeling pleasant in contrast to the hot water that covered your stomach and legs, the sensation of his muscles relaxing beneath your touch giving you a certain gratification.

You took in a deep breath, sighing softly, feeling content.

"We should do your hair," You said after a time, thoughtless to the fact that he could in fact do this himself quite easily.

"So I suppose we are doing more than just backs, hm?" He replied with a teasing, flirtatious smile tossed over his shoulder.

"Unless you'd rather do it yourself," You retorted, giving him a flat look. The corner of your lips tugged upwards into a fond smile however, matching the glint in your eye that gave away your true feelings on the matter.

Though you wouldn't dare tell the cocky bastard, you had always wanted to run your hands through his hair. It just looked so. . soft. silky. . .

You watched him move to a deeper part of the spring to slip under it easier, bending forward to soak his head before moving back over to face his back to you once more.

You managed to get halfway through the process seamlessly before you accidentally tugged a bit on his hair, and froze at the soft moan that left his lips as his head fell back ever so slightly against the touch.

The reaction . . did things to you.

You forced in a deep breath as you slowly resumed lathering soap into his hair, ignoring the stirring anticipation in your stomach. You found your fingers wandering distractedly, letting them run down the nape of his neck, shuddering as another breath left his lips. "Okay- you're done," You gasped out when you felt this one go alarmingly between your legs.

You gave his back a gentle push towards the deeper part of the spring for good measure.

He glanced behind him to look at you, his eyes falsely inquisitive, reading your face like a book.

You stared at him with growing sheepishness before you couldn't handle the tension building between the two of you, and proceeded to slip further under the water, bringing a foot up instead to nudge him with. A small, meek plea to make him stop looking at your red face.

This earned an amused smile from him, and he went willingly to go rinse his hair.

You watched with far more interest than you cared to admit, unable to tear your eyes away as he resurfaced, running a hand over the front of his hair to stop water from falling into his eyes.

You wondered how a man that had not seen himself for two hundred years still managed to show himself to others with so much confidence.

"Your turn, then, darling?" He said as he moved back over through the water, making you swallow thickly.

He moved to sit in front of you, staring at you intently.

"We can do it this way, if you'd rather not turn around," He said after a stretch of silence, making your brain reactivate.

"Right, sorry," you breathed, flushing at your mistake.

You turned yourself in a manner that was careful not to show off your breasts in the process, leaning your head forward as you shut your eyes, finding your stomach twisting anxiously in anticipation waiting for his touch.

You shuddered when it was finally received. This soft brush of his fingertips running down the back of your arm, followed by the sensation of him brushing your wet hair over either one of your shoulders.

"That’s better," He purred, letting wet hands run over your shoulder shoulder blades.

He hummed when he felt goosebumps rise across your skin, your body hot and reactive.

He grabbed the soap, lathering it on his hands, rather than using the bar as you had done.

"I must warn you, darling. . I can be quite thorough." He murmured the last part near your ear, making your body shudder as he brought his hand to run down your spine, watching in satisfaction as it instinctually arched against his touch.

he worked deft fingers along your upper half above the water line, rubbing your muscles in the most pleasing of ways.

"'Starion," You breathed before you could stop yourself when you felt his hands slip down to grasp your waist, his thumbs pressing softly into the divot in your lower back.

"Yes, my sweet?" He purred, feeling your hips shift against his embrace.

You blushed realizing you had not spoken his name out of the intent of starting a conversation, but out of something far more carnal.

You bit your lip, trying to think of something to say.

"Uh. . " Your mind trailed off as your head absently leaned to the side when you felt one of his hands leave your hip to go to recollecting your hair when a few strands strayed from where he had put it over your shoulder.

He did not concern himself waiting for you to think of something to stay, instead he went to letting his soapy hand run up the side of your exposed neck, listening to your breath hitch as his palm moved to run over your throat, his thumb grazing over your pulse.

He felt your head tilt back willingly, his eyes roaming the side of your neck with growing hunger.

he let his hand fall from your throat, grabbing the rag and dipping it under the water before using it to wash off the soap, meanwhile his other hand went to running up and down your hip in a motion that was decidedly more sexual than it was helpfully cleaning you off.

You could feel your heart beginning to pound in your chest, anticipation taking over your entire being as you resisted the urge to push back against him, wanting to know what it would feel like to have his chest pressed firmly against your back.

"Would you like me to give you more, darling?" He cooed, his lips close to your ear, making you shiver.

"I can give you everything you'd like. . You just have to say it for me, my love. " He let his lips brush against your earlobe, making a soft whine leave your lips before you could stop it.

"Oh, god. . " You couldn't resist your body's desire to press back against him when you felt a hand slip in front of you to press against your stomach.

You gasped at the sensation, listening to Astarion's breath hitch at the sudden feeling of your ass being pressed between his legs, your back warm and soft against his chest.

You looked up at him with darkened eyes, anticipation threaded into every nerve in your body as he looked down at you silently.

You both moved at the same time, meeting halfway to connect your lips in a heated, lustful kiss.

You brought your hand up to the back of his hair, tugging softly at the wet locks as you felt his hand slide from your stomach up to cup one of your breasts, his muscular arm resting across your torso.

His lips were cold, the taste of them positively intoxicating. "Astarion," You breathed, pulling away from him breathlessly as you regained some control over yourself.

"Yes, darling?" He let his lips fall down to kiss at your neck, resisting the urge to let his teeth sink into the soft flesh for just a small taste. . Your next words, however, had him freezing in every motion.

"Are you sure that you want this?"

You looked up at him as he pulled back, staring down at you with shock.

"What?" He finally questioned, frowning with a remarkable amount of skill.

"I just. . " You turned to face him, biting your lip as you cupped his jaw.

"I-. . I know you have things in your past that. . I just want to make sure you're okay with this. . That it is truly something that you want, because if it isn't, or if you aren't sure, we don't need to." You looked at him with tender, worried eyes, clearly uncertain about it.

He found himself unsure how to respond. No one had ever stopped to ask him such a question before. .

He looked at you silently, taking in the sensation of soft, warm skin. The tender stroke over your thumb against his cheek. Your imploring, gentle eyes.

You had moved your body away from his in a manner that left you touching him in a far more tender way than it was sexual, something he also was not used to receiving,

He felt his gaze fall downcast, letting his hand come to run up and down your waist tenderly.

You let him remain silent, allowing him the time he needed in order to get his thoughts together and truly think about his answer.

He looked up at you finally, bringing a finger to hook under your chin. "I want you," He replied finally, leaning forward to press his lips slowly to yours, making your eyes flutter shut.

"I want to feel you. . " He used the hand on your hip to gently but firmly pull you on to his lap.

"I want to taste you." He grasped your jaw with his thumb and index finger as he leaned up, sliding his tongue past your lips with dizzying skill.

You let your arms wrap around his shoulders, a hand coming into the back of his hair, tangling loosely into the wet locks as you wrapped your tongue around his.

You shifted your hips against his when you couldn't take the sensation of being still any longer, listening to the soft groan leave his throat as you did, encouraging you to roll your hips again.

You could feel him hardening beneath you, making your stomach twist and your clit throb.

Sharp fangs nipped your bottom lip when he failed to resist the urge to taste more than just your tongue. He sucked at the cut, dragging his tongue over it as he hummed softly, listening to you moan at the sensation.

You pulled away after a time, licking the drop of blood from your lip, watching him stare intently as you did so.

Wordlessly, you gathered your hair to one side, and tilted your head back to offer your neck to him should he want it, watching him fall forward with hunger.

He did not dive in fangs first, however. He brought his hand to the other side of your neck to grasp as he dragged his tongue over the soft, wet skin, flicking and swirling the muscle in a way that had you shuddering.

a whimper left your lips when you felt him finally sink his teeth slowly into the skin, your hands tightening softly against him as you let your hips roll against his to even out the pain.

Your eyes fell shut when he began to suck at the wounds, moaning against your neck as he used his hand to pull you closer to his mouth, making your breath hitch. You could feel your head fogging pleasantly the longer he went, his cock hardening beneath you.

You lifted yourself up off his lap slightly, bringing a hand down to wrap around his dick instead, making his body jolt softly at the unexpected touch.

"I want you to focus on your own pleasure," You breathed, eyes lulling shut.

Fuck he felt big in your hand. . .

The thought distracted you further from any pain he was causing by feeding, and the signs of his pleasure numbed the rest for you.

you slowly stroked your hand up to his head, pushing back down equally slow, setting a firm, deliberate pace that had him moaning and sighing in pleasure against your neck.

He only grew harder as you worked, your head feeling more and more dizzy as he continued to lap his tongue and suck against your throat.

"Star, ease up, love," You breathed finally when you felt it was starting to cause you problems.

He pulled away, dizzy with pleasure as he looked up at you, blood staining his lip, drizzling slightly down his chin.

You wiped away the blood before pushing your lips against his, picking up the pace of your hand, making him groan into your mouth.

you felt the ache between your legs only worsen, desperately wanting to feel him inside of you.

"Hm- fuck," You moaned against his lips when you felt his hand slip down to bring two fingers to rub your swollen clit. Your hips immediately reacted by grinding down against his fingers, your hand moving faster against his fully hard cock.

"You looked positively delicious, darling" He purred, his voice just a touch breathless from lust.

"You are going to feel so good, aren't you. ." He leaned down to lick the blood dripping down your neck, slipping his fingers down to tease your entrance and slowly pushing in. he replaced the attention to your clit with his palm as he did so, causing you to whimper and drop your forehead down against his shoulder.

He pressed his forehead against the side of your head, eyes shutting as he took in a deep breath, feeling your blood coursing through him, giving him strength he very much wanted to use to both your advantage. Still, he waited, finding he was rather enjoying the intimate position. Wanting to further this, he let off his teasing to grab your waist with one hand, using the other to taking yours off of his cock before letting it settle on your other hip to pull you back down against his lap.

thus settled, he wrapped his arms around your back, pressing you close as he took in a deep breath, inhaling your intoxicating scent as he rubbed his hand against your spine softly. You couldn't help but smile, rolling your hips slowly against his for a gentle pleasure to ease both your aching, enjoying the intimate position he had maneuvered the two of you into.

He took in a sharp gasp when your lips suddenly found his sweet spot at the crook of his neck, his arms tightening softly around you. You worked your tongue eagerly, wanting him to get as much pleasure out of the experience as possible.

He let a hand trail down while you did this, grabbing your ass and squeezing before pushing you down against his cock a little harder, groaning at the feeling as his eyes shut.

"Are you ready, love?" He breathed, knowing he was quite ready. You nodded as you looked up, cupping his face with two tender hands, shutting your eyes as you brush your nose against his before connecting your lips.

He helped you shift your hips, listening to a soft moan leave your lips as his tip slipped past your entrance, pushing into you ever so slowly.

He got roughly a quarter of the way in before you had to pause, feeling his fingers come down to rub your clit as you slowly moved up and down, whimpering as you took move of him inside of you.

You worked slowly, taking your time as you both simply enjoyed the sensation of it all. happy to forget the stresses that awaited you outside of this moment.

he opened his eyes when you broke the kiss to drop your head back instead when he was nearly fully inside of you, bouncing slowly as you worked on taking the last bit of him. Your back arched toward him when you finally managed it, a shuddered moan leaving your soft lips as your eyes rolled back.

you put your hands on his shoulders, feeling his hand squeeze your ass as you started to move up and down his length with a steady pace, connecting your lips once again as it slowly picked up heatedly.

You could feel him stretching you out in a way that made you ache for more, and yet feel incredibly satisfied just as you were.

Water sloshed around you as your pace gained speed, your breasts pressing firmly against him as you moved, rolling your hips in a way that had him groaning delights.

He grabbed the back of your wet hair, pulling softly as you did the same to his.

You were panting as you kept up the pace relentlessly, his own panting and moaning keeping you going even as you began to feel tired from the movement.

You gasped when he suddenly grabbed your hips, pulling you off his cock completely and without warning as he made you stay high enough that he could attack your breasts lustfully for a heated minute before turning you in the water, putting you beneath him.

"Surely you did not think I would let you do all the work tonight, did you, my sweet?" He asked as he hooked your leg with his under the water, towering over you with a dominance that had a shiver running down your spine.

"I wouldn't have mind," You replied distractedly, though your words were quite genuine. You were breathless as you stared up at him, eyes meeting his steadily.

the response made him smirk, chuckling as he leaned down to kiss you, pushing back into you at the same time.

The motion caused a moan to force its way from your lips, your body writhing beneath him as you brought your leg up higher to wrap around his waist.

his lips trailed down to your neck again after a time, sucking down the last remnants of blood that drove his lust even further.

his hips snapped against yours powerfully, hitting deep inside of you with each thrust,

"be a good girl," He breathed, pressing his forehead against yours as he went to a rapid pace. "And clench that wet cunt for me." He bit your lip, groaning as he felt you do exactly as you were told, making you almost painfully tight,

you whimpered as you felt his cock twitch inside of you, tugging at his hair needily, grinding your hips against his, desperate for friction that was made difficult to achieve due to the water.

he pressed his body against yours after a time, grinding inside of you as he pressed his forehead against the crook of your neck.

the soft gasps of pleasure that left his lips in a stream had you feeling positively dizzy.

you used your leg to help him push deeper, reaching down behind him between his legs to lightly play with his balls, only enhancing his gasps and moans.

you could feel your stomach twisting into knots of pleasure listening to the intoxicating sounds, your eyes shut as you pushed your head back against the ground, listening to the sloshing water caused by his grinding movement.

"Are you going to cum, darling?" You asked, playing with his hair, giving the occasional gentle tug.

he groaned in response, lifting his head up to drop his forehead down against yours.

"Not until you do," He assured, adamant about ensuring his lovers were taken care of first.

you bit your lip, dragging your thumb across his balls in a manner that had his cock twitching inside of you.

"I want to feel you cum," You breath, stealing a kiss from the man. "I don't want you to wait for me if you think you are going to, okay?" You shifted beneath him needily, fairly certain there was a good chance feeling him orgasm would most likely push you over the edge yourself.

he looked down at you, looking almost troubled. As though he didn't know what to do with this.

"I assure you," You went on before he could formulate a sentence. "I am fairly sure that if I don't get off feeling you cum inside of me, it probably won't take more than a stiff breeze to finish me off after."

You couldn't help smiling when you watched a similar expression touch his lips, a soft, breathless laugh coming out of him.

"If you are sure, darling," he decided, brushing his nose against your cheek mindlessly as he started to pick up short thrusts again, groaning at the sensation.

you couldn't resist bringing your hand up to squeeze his ass as he did this, making him jolt from surprise in a way that caused you to moan freely.

he repeated a similar thrust again to see if he could get you to mimic the sound. when he succeeded in doing so, he repeated the pace and angle at which he did it, snapping his hips in short, powerful thrusts.

"Is that where it feels good, darling?" He purred, licking your earlobe before nipping it teasingly. "Do you think I could get you to come with nothing more than my cock?" You moaned in response, grabbing at his flexed biceps, his arms encircling your head.

"You are so beautiful for me," He moaned, kissing your jaw. "Absolutely delicious. ." He snapped his hips a little harder, leaning down to try and suck a little more blood from you.

When he found the reserve dry, he felt weak to resist the temptation to create a new wound, sinking his teeth into you, twitching again as he felt you clench around him, whimpering in a mix of pain and pure ecstasy as you gripped his arms tighter, feeling yourself being thrown towards the edge.

He took a few large swallows of blood, feeling it energize his entire body, his cock swelling inside of you as his hips snapped harder and with more vigor.

He got to a nearly unbearable speed before he suddenly pushed inside of you and stayed.

your breath hitched when you felt him spill cum inside of you, grinding with desperation as you felt him slowly pull out before slamming back into you, moving with the waves of pleasure that rolled through him.

The sounds he made while doing so had your stomach twisting with pure lust, and it took little more than a few circles against your clit with two fingers to have you following over the edge.

He grabbed the side of your hair with a gasp when he felt your orgasm hit, his mouth hanging open, eyes shut tightly as he pressed his forehead firmly against your own.

You brought your free hand to wrap around him, your leg helping push him down against you as you both rode out the waves of pleasure together.

You laid there panting into one another’s mouths as you came down, keeping each other close as your bodies relaxed and melted against the other.

You leaned up and kissed his cheek dizzily after a time, making his eyes open to look down at you.

"Now what am I going to do with you," He breathed, a smile dancing on his lips.

He was not used to the tender affections you were offering him, but he found he quite liked it.

you let out a soft laugh, bringing your hand up to cover the back of his as he cupped your cheek tenderly.

he shut his eyes again, pressing his forehead against yours once more as he finished catching his breath.

"I am afraid we may need another bath," You sighed as he shifted off of you, propping yourself up on your elbows as you listened to him chuckle.

"I believe you would be right, darling," he replied as he sat up one his knees. "Come back into the water. . I promise to actually wash you this time. That is, so long as you can control yourself around me once again. ." he added playfully, making you smile, sitting up and kissing him lingeringly.

"We'll see. . Though I can't promise my hands won't get a little friendly." you gave him a playful, sly smile before slipping away from him to go back into the water, feeling a hand on your waist as he moved in after you.

It was nearing midnight before you two finally managed to properly bathe, but by then, it was a matter of you trying not to pass out from exhaustion.

And when that battle was lost, he laid with you near the spring, softly stroking the side of your cheek as you slept peacefully curled up warmly in his cool embrace.

[iikkeee]

Can you do a one shot where Ajax cheats on you with Enid and Wednesday comes to the rescue?

Cara Mia || w. addams

Wednesday x reader fluff!

Summary: When Wednesday see Ajax and Enid being suspicious she sets off to find out what they're hiding from you.

Warnings: Ajax and Enid being assholes, cheating, betrayal

A/n: I really hope you guys enjoy this one, sorry if its not that good, I'm currently sick and rotting in bed lmao, and i'm a little busy with school work and stuff. This was so hard for me to write because Enid and Ajax would never, anyways this is mostly in Wednesday's point of view so sorry if its a bit more challenging to read lol

_________________________________________________

You laid casually across Wednesday's, a book residing gently in your hands. She sat quietly still, her hands occasionally moving to brush through your hair. You hummed quietly enjoying the peace around you, that was until a whole crowd of people rushed in sitting right beside you, on the libraries tables and seats. "Hey" Ajax said leaning close to you, "hi" you replied, propping up your elbows up on the table, he chuckled before giving you a kiss, which you accepted wholeheartedly. You laid the reminder of your legs on his lap "Your affection makes me sick" Wednesday said scoffing "In a good way I hope" You replied giggling. "Don't think so.." Enid replied looking over Wednesday's shoulder, a small glint in her eye. Wednesday rolled her eyes before letting out a small chuckle "Made you laugh!" You said getting up and punching her shoulder. "Wow you guys look like a couple more than Y/n and Ajax do" Xavier grinned "Woah calm down Wednesday, I only have one girlfriend. I can't have you stealing her" Ajax teased putting his hands in the air, you laughed leaning onto his shoulder. "Regardless, Y/n and Ajax do make a good couple" Xavier stated. "I agree" Wednesday replied giving you and the boy beside you a small smile. "Yeah...haha" Enid chuckled awkwardly, her hands fidgeting as she tried to focus on the small book in front of her. You brushed off her behavior and went back to joking around, enjoying you free period.

Little did you know that one of your best friends and your boyfriend whom you trusted with everything were having a relationship right behind your back. Wednesday shifted her eye between the beanie wearing boy and the bright blonde haired girl, she narrowed them as she noticed their sly looks at each other. Enid was never a good liar, she wore her heart on her sleeve and you could easily get something out of her if you just asked, she was an open book, just like the one residing on her lap that she surely had not payed attention to with the boy in the room. She scoffed silently to herself, she knew something was up, she just had to find out what it was. Noticing the disgusted look on Wednesday you whispered to her "Hey, what's wrong?" "its nothing" she replied squeezing your hand.

Soon the bell rang and you looked at the clock on your phone "Well look like we have to go" you said jumping off the table and taking Ajax's hand, pulling him with you "Bye guys" Ajax said waving them off as he made his way to the door, you pushed him back and waved to the others "Remember if you hurt her, i'll hurt you back" Wednesday said waving with a straight face "I'll remember that" Ajax said winking to her "Bye guys" Enid giggled as she hit Wednesday in the side. You laughed before skipping outside of the door with Ajax. "Wednesday you can't say things like that" Enid said sighing "Whatever" Wednesday replied as she jumped off the table and walked to the door "where are you going?" Enid asked curiously her head tilted. "None of your business" The black haired girl replied as she walked outside, her cold demeanor made Enid shiver. Wednesday couldn't fathom talking to the other girl if she didn't know what was going on between her and Ajax.

When school was over, Wednesday made her way to her shared dorm, slacked her bag onto the floor next to her desk. She took out her type writer and put her paper in planning to use her writing time wisely. She couldn't type as she thought more and more about Enid's suspicious behavior towards Ajax. As she typed the only words that went on the page were the horrible things she would do to the bubbly girl and relaxed boy if they were to hurt you in any capacity. She would die for you and if they wouldn't...then they didn't deserve you. She sighed as she looked at the mess she had made with her paper reaching to the floor, each page filled with gory details, she picked them up harshly and crumbled them as she threw it into the small black trashcan next to her. When she did so Enid entered the room, she hummed as she looked through an envelope. She plopped on her bed, her leg's swinging in the air as she giggled at the contents. Wednesdays eyes shifted as she glance at the letter, she was only able to see some of it from where she was sitting, it was in a heart shape.

"oh hey Wednesday, I didn't even notice you were there" Enid said turning her head to look at the gloomy girl, she nodded in response. Who was the letter from? Wednesday had never heard Enid talk about a boy other than Ajax romantically. But once you and him got together, Enid didn't speak about him in that way. It was strange, Wednesday cleared her throat and continued to write. She took small peaks at the colorful girl. "Should I wear pink or rainbow today?" Enid asked pointing to her eyelids "Why does it matter?" Wednesday muttered "No reason, just want to look good" She replied. Enid changed into a pretty skirt and shirt, her face plastered with colorful makeup, her hair curled, and her claws colored a bright pink. She hummed as she twirled in the mirror before reaching for the handle, her hands moving to her phone to send a a text. "Well I'm off" She muttered, as she waved at the black haired girl, her eyes never moving from her phone. "Where to?" She asked her curiously "No where important" Enid replied her face turning pale.

You laid in your bed cuddling your boyfriend as you both watched a movie. Ajax held you close to him, his body heat keeping you warm "This is nice" He muttered giving you a kiss on the forehead "Yeah" you replied giving him a small peck. Suddenly you heard a phone notification, you opened your phone to find that it wasn't it yours, you looked curiously to your boyfriend as he grabbed his, turning his back away from you her opened his phone. "Oh shit, I gotta go" Ajax said propping himself up on your bed "What happened?" You asked getting up worriedly "Something with Xavier" Ajax sighed as he got up from the bed, putting his shoes on "I should come too then" You replied already placing your shoes on as well. "No it's fine you stay here, love you" He said giving you a quick peak before rushing out of the room ''love you too..." You muttered as he was already out of the door.

For a while things like that were happening, recently more often than not. Whenever you and Ajax were together he would suddenly have to go, whether it was his family, Xavier, or who knows whom he always asked you to stay and just left. You hugged yourself on your bed and paused the movie you were watching, what was going on? You trusted Ajax with your whole heart but what was going on...?

Wednesday locked the door before rushing to Enid's side of the room, quickly rummaging through her drawers as she tried to find the envelope, she scoffed as she touched tried not to the touch the colorful thing she had, Thing snuck onto her shoulder quietly motioning her to stop "What thing?" Wednesday scoffed "Somethings up with her and I have to find out what it is" She replied, the hand retaliated and helped her, as he rummaged through drawers too. He quickly tapped Wednesday on the shoulder showing her the heart shaped envelop, "gross..." She mumbled before following the hand towards the bottom drawer, she opened it to find more of them, some just simple pieces of paper and other envelops, she rummaged through them, there had to be hundreds of them. She opened the one that Enid was reading just before and out slipped a picture of Ajax and Enid together, they were sitting next to each other on a bench. Ajax had his arm wrapped around the girl as he kissed her cheek, Wednesdays eyebrows furrowed as she looked to read the note.

"Meet me at 8 <3" was all it read "No way...he cheating on Y/n with Enid...." She said, she was furious...how could anyone do such a thing to you. You were perfect. Nobody should ever do anything to hurt you, Wednesday thought as she crumbled the paper in her hand. Thing ran around expressing what felt like horror as he stepped on the other notes. "Come on thing, we have to tell Y/n" She sighed getting up, Thing hopped on her shoulder and she took the photo she found with her. She had remembered that bench, it was hidden from the public, near the back of the school. Most people didn't know where it was and teachers never bothered to check it, if they were meeting up it was bound to be there.

She tiptoed around before heading to where the bench was, she peeked from behind a pole making she she wasn't visible to whoever was there. There stood Enid who paced around, she hurriedly looked down at her phone, seemly just checking the time. Wednesday's eyes narrowed as she looked at the colorful haired girl. "Sorry i'm late" she heard a familiar voice say, she leaned her head in a little closer to see Ajax standing there, Enid's hands in his. "Why were you?" Enid said pouting "I had to get away from Y/n" He said rolling his eyes "When are you going to leave her" Enid scoffed as she let go of his hand and sat on the bench "Soon." He sighed as he made his way next to her, his arm reaching around her back as he snuggled her closer. "Good, you know I love you more then she does" Enid said caressing his cheek "I know, that why I love you more" Ajax chuckled, as he leaned in closer to her, their lips met and they kissed each other hungrily as if this was their last day.

Wednesday couldn't bear to watch as she quickly walked away into the school dorms, she slumped to the ground breathing heavily, she could not believe she had just witnessed such a scene. Thing ran around in fright, he couldn't believe his best friend Enid could do such a horrid thing. "Y/n..." Wednesday managed to say as she got up and walked to your dorm, knocking on it frantically. "Woah what is it?" You asked opening it to reveal the black haired girl, she breathed heavily and slumped into your arms, you held her tightly but she let go of you quickly, standing straight "Ajax, he's cheating on you" Was all she said and your world shattered in seconds "what...no.. he would never do that" you said as you felt tears streaming down you face, please let it be a dream, please was all you thought as you quivered. Wednesday pulled you into a tight hug, she pulled you towards your bed and sat down, taking you with her. You sobbed into her chest and she held you close, her fingers combing through your hair as you let your emotions come through.

You loved him so much, how could he ever do a thing, and it was worse....he did it with one of your best friends, One that you trusted with all your secrets and loved with all your heart, how could they both do something to hurt you. You sniffled as your sadness turned to anger "Where are they?" You growled "Y/n..." Wednesday sighed sympathetically "please." You said squeezing her hand. She shock her head before taking your hand and leading you outside. She let you go first and you looked around before your eyes landed on the two on the bench. They made out as their limbs mixed together, you huffed as you felt yourself become more angry.

"What the fuck?" You yelled as you made your way in front of them Wednesday and thing trailing behind you, they quickly shot up from the bench "No no no... babe this isn't what it looks like" Ajax pleaded his hand going to hold yours "Don't fucking touch me ever again" you yelled quickly slapping his hand away "Please baby..." He said trying again, Wednesday grabbed his hand squeezing it tigthly at his wrist, he winced at the pain, she could almost break it. "Y/n..." Enid plead "Don't even get me started on you, you knew we were dating. Why would you do this to me. I thought we were friends" You said tears coming out of your eyes. Enid looked to the ground, your words hurt her deeply inside "It was a one time thing, I was going to end it" Ajax said shaking his hand away from Wednesday while holding it to stop the pain. "One time thing?" Enid scoffed suddenly mad at the man standing beside her "It happened more than once, he was going to break up with you, not me" Enid said suddenly becoming truthful to you. Your eyes shifted between them, you could never forgive them for what had happened "It doesn't matter who started it or who was going to break up with who" Wednesday shouted her arms coming to support you as you cried.

"Listen Y/n, I know what i did was horrible and I don't want you to forgive me...just know that me and him are over now" Enid said rolling her eyes before stomping away "Wait Enid..." Ajax said quickly trying to follow her, forgetting that you were standing right there. You sobbed as you thought about how much he cared for her more than you "Go Ajax." Wednesday said blankly. "Its clear you like her more than Y/n" She scoffed "We're done Ajax, don't ever talk to me again" You shouted. Wednesday quickly took you inside to your dorm room. Thank god you didn't have a roommate, who would have to deal with your crying. You sobbed as she tucked you into your bed, she gave you a sympathetic smile as she leaned against your bed, she crouched down. "Please don't leave me alone" You whispered to her, pulling her onto your bed. "Okay..." was all she said before she slipped into the sheets and held you close to her. You relaxed into her arms as you resided on her chest, it was soothing hearing her heart beat.

You both laid there, you thought of how just hours prior you were sitting in the same bed expect with Ajax. But this time it felt right, something about Wednesday's aura made you feel relaxed and calm, you felt like you would safe if you just stayed in her arms. You looked at her to she her eyes closed, she looked so cute, you assumed she probably had dozed off. Her chest was steady as she held you close, you nuzzled more into her as you propped yourself up so that you were staring at her. You moved your hand to her cheek, gently tracing her soft features, you finger stopped at her lip. You didn't know what it was but you felt an attraction her, more than ever. You looked at her lips before leaning in and giving them a small peak, her eye shot open and your were about to pull away before she held you close to her and moved her lips gently across yours. You held each other for a while, you lips matched at the same pace, it were as if they were made for each other. You had never felt this way with anyone else.

You both pulled away, as your stared into each other eyes. You breathed heavily she held your face in her hands. "Cara mia..." She whispered "Mon cher..." you replied back with a small smile, she smiled before pulling you back into a kiss. This felt right, and you knew you would be much more happier with Wednesday. You knew she would never betray you like Ajax and Enid did. She told you everything, even if it caused you pain.

_________________________________________________

[autumnshighlady]

This Is Me Trying

Cassian x Nesta

summary: It's been a few months since Nesta and Cassian have made things official, but things have only gotten worse for Nesta.

warnings: ANGST! slight inner circle slander, no happy ending, not super pro-Nessian

word count: 2.8k

a/n: this fic is based on 'This Is Me Trying' by Taylor Swift, also spot the Grey's Anatomy quote hehe. This fic is basically me working out my own relationship issues haha, so it was pretty emotional to write because I'm basically Nesta in this situation and it's rough. But I also truly think this is a more realistic version of Nessian than the one sjm tried to shove down out throats in ACOSF.

DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

Nesta sighed as Cassian’s arm squeezed around her shoulders, squishing her farther into him than humanly possible. He belted out a laugh at whatever Mor had said, a deafening noise next to Nesta’s ear. His touch felt like acid on her skin, and all she wanted to do was get away from it.

Nesta had been trying her hardest to communicate her feelings with Cassian, she truly had. But it was hard – everything she said seemed to leave his brain the second he was around the Inner Circle, like they were now. Nesta was at one end of the couch with Cassian to her right, and Elain on Cassian’s left. Feyre was sitting on an armchair across from them with Nyx in her arms, in Rhys’s lap, while Mor and Amren were perched on cushions by the fireplace. Azriel was sitting a bit behind Rhys and Feyre on a stool, quietly observing the scene. A couple hours ago, Nesta had pulled Cassian aside and explained that she was having an overwhelming day, and requested he not touch her for the night. She couldn’t explain why she felt that way – she tried, and nothing came out. All she wanted was some physical space from Cassian’s presence. The male had sworn he understood, and said he would give her space.

That had lasted all of 20 minutes into the evening before he slung his arm over her shoulders and pulled her body into his. He had failed to notice how Nesta froze, rather than relaxing into his touch as usual. She knew it wasn’t malicious, that he wasn’t deliberately ignoring her request. He had just simply… forgot. 

And this wasn’t the first time she felt suffocated and trapped by Cassian. Guilt plagued her, knowing he truly didn’t mean to do it, he was just trying to show his affection. For a while, Nesta thought that the Cauldron had mated them under the premise of opposites attract. Cassian was extroverted and wore his heart on his sleeve, easily making friends and jumping into any conversation or group. Nesta was an introvert, preferring to mask everything she felt, both good and bad. She did not have that confident ease about her, nor did she feel inclined to befriend everyone she met or chat their ear off. She was perfectly content to be more like Azriel, sitting and observing rather than participating. 

But maybe there was such a thing as people being too opposite for it to work out.

Nesta had felt like she was drowning in the Cauldron all over again, slowly being backed into a corner and suffocating under Cassian’s constant presence and need for her attention. Now that they were officially together, he was everywhere. Cassian had lightened his duties in Illyria to spend more time with Nesta, which only made it worse. At first she had found it sweet, but as the weeks passed it became more irritating.

Cassian was supposed to love her. Surely, someone who loved her would be able to understand her enough to know that this wasn’t what she wanted? He was always trying to find different things to do with Nesta, and it was beginning to get overwhelming. It hurt her heart to see how enthusiastic he was, how badly he wanted to make her happy. She was disgusted with herself for not feeling the same, for wanting to fight and pull away.

Her youngest sister’s voice brought her attention back. “Do you have anything to add, Nesta?”

Nesta blinked, not having heard a word of what was said. “To what?”

Feyre sighed. “We were just talking about building another home for me, Rhys, and Nyx in the mountains, since you and Cassian basically live at the House of Wind now. What do you think?”

The room was tense, everyone frozen as they awaited Nesta’s reply. If she was in a better mood, she would have chuckled inwardly. No matter what she did, no matter how many times she proved herself to them, the Inner Circle would always see her as a rabid monster waiting for a chance to lash out. Perhaps if it were another day she’d entertain them, just to show that she hadn’t lost her bite. But she had no energy today. “Sounds like a great idea.” She said simply.

Everyone visibly relaxed, relieved that Nesta hadn’t made a snide comment about how many houses Feyre and Rhys had, even though she wanted to. Cassian patted her arm proudly, as if to say look how much more docile and well-mannered she is now, thanks to me. Realistically, Nesta knew that wasn’t actually what he was thinking, but it sure felt like it. Only Feyre gave her a strange look, as if she could sense something wrong. 

“So, Nesta,” Rhys said smoothly. “Cassian tells me you’ve gotten pretty good in the sparring ring.”

Nesta’s mouth was dry, the hot air from the room closing in on her. “I’ve improved, yes.” She managed a reply, earning another squeeze from Cassian that tightened her throat even more.

She hadn’t wanted to be touched at all tonight, yet he was doing it anyway without even thinking.

“It’s been a while since I’ve practiced, you could probably give me a run for my money.” The High Lord chuckled, taking a sip of wine.

Again, everyone anxiously waited for Nesta to challenge him, to cause a scene and ruin the evening for the group. It made her feel physically sick, how she felt like she was drowning all over again and not only had Cassian not noticed, but the Inner Circle seemed to like her better this way – a shell of the female she was before, a quieter version.

“I think Rhys is challenging you, sweetheart.” Cassian chuckled. “Go on, go kick his sorry ass.”

“I’ll pass, thanks.” Nesta said quietly, but it was too late. Mor and Amren had stood up, moving over to where Azriel sat in the back to clear the space on the large rug by the fireplace. Feyre had climbed off Rhys’s lap, too, taking Nyx with her and handing her to Elain as she joined everyone over by Azriel. 

Rhys down the rest of his wine and stood up, pushing his chair back and wiping invisible dust off his sleeves. “Come on, Nesta. Show me what you got.”

The room began to close in on Nesta even more, the air stifling and catching in her throat like sandpaper.

“It’s fine, really.” Nesta insisted, but was interrupted by Cassian gently shoving her to her feet.

“My girl is gonna make you eat dirt, brother.” Cassian said as he pushed Nesta up onto her unsteady feet.

More cheers from the females by Azriel began to sound up, all urging Nesta to show off her skills. It should have felt endearing, and she should have felt more excited at the opportunity to punch her annoying brother-in-law in his face. But all she could feel was suffocation, like she was back in front of her mother’s cruel gaze being forced to perform for people that did not care for her. An object, a plaything to be used to entertain others then put back in its box when they were done with her.

“No.” Nesta’s voice was barely above a whisper, unheard amongst the loud cheers.

“Nesta, Nesta, Nesta!” Feyre and Elain chanted from the background, egging her on. But she was frozen, arms slack at her sides.

“Come on, Nes!” Cassian barked playfully. “You’re acting like I haven’t taught you anything. Come on, do it for me–”

“I said NO.” Nesta snapped, her sharp voice silencing the room as she whirled around to face Cassian. He stared at her, eyes wide with shock.

“It’s all in good fun,” He said, brows furrowed in confusion. “He won’t actually hurt you. Besides, when else are you going to get the chance to–”

Nesta cut him off, her anger bubbling over the surface like a volcano that had waited centuries to finally erupt. “What part of the word ‘no’ suddenly means ‘convince me’?” She demanded.

Nobody said a word. Disappointment was written all over Cassian’s face. Amren snorted in the background, her whisper pointedly loud as she said, “I guess some people will never change, even after being spat out by the Cauldron.”

Tears burned in Nesta’s eyes, but she refused to let them see. Wordlessly, she stormed past everyone, making her way to the door of the river house. She hadn’t even made three steps out into the street before it opened up again behind her, heavy footsteps crunching in the snow.

“What the fuck, Nesta?” Cassian demanded, grabbing her arm and pulling her back. 

“Let go of me.” She spat, trying to rip her arm from his grip. But he only held on tighter.

“We were having fun, what’s wrong with you?”

“Cassian, let go of my arm right fucking NOW.”

The male glared at her, but obliged. Nesta yanked her arm back to her side, rubbing the now sore area. Annoyance seeped from the male as he ran a hand through his hair. “The night was going well,” He grumbled. “It was all going well until you made a scene. For once in your life, Nesta, can’t you just try?”

“This IS me trying!” Nesta shouted, his words stabbing her harder than any knife could. After everything she had opened up to Cassian about, how could he not see that she was trying her best? That she was trying to make him happy by going along with his obscure date ideas, putting on a happy face being dragged to dinner with the Inner Circle even though they basically locked her up after the war? 

“Well you’re not trying hard enough!” Cassian’s words hit her like a truck. The tears she had been fighting to keep back began to stream down her cheeks like icicles in the frozen wind. “Fuck, I’ve tried to hard to convince my family to give you a chance after how you treated them. I’ve gone out out of my way to make you happy, and this is what you fucking do? We all try so hard for you, and you won’t try at all.”

Nesta couldn’t stop herself from flinching at his words. Her brain screamed at her to yell back at Cassian, to bring out those claws she spent the last few months trying to rid herself of. But she couldn’t. She was exhausted, tired of pretending to be as happy as Cassian was. It sucked the life out of her, chipping at her away piece by piece until she felt empty inside. Her old self would be ashamed of how submissive she had become.

Cassian sighed, rubbing his face, and taking a step towards Nesta. He held his hands out to hold her. “Nesta, I’m so sorry–”

He stopped speaking when Nesta took a step back, shying from his touch. His hazel eyes were filled with hurt and confusion, and she sighed. “Cassian,” She said slowly. “Did you not remember how I asked you not to touch me tonight?” 

The Illyrian’s brow furrowed in confusion, then softened as the realization dawned on him. “Is that what this is about?”

Nesta sighed, another tear rolling down her cheek. “Not just that–”

He interrupted her. “I completely forgot, Nes I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you just tell me to fuck off?”

“Because I shouldn’t have to. You should have remembered to respect my basic wishes. You don’t listen to me, Cassian. You hear me, but you don’t listen.”

Cassian sat down on the steps by the door, wings drooping in sadness. But she felt no pity for him, only anger. He was the one who didn’t listen to her when she asked not to be touched, who ignored her when she protested sparring with Rhys, but he was somehow the victim too? It made her blood sing with anger. “I tell you not to touch me because I’m having a bad day, and you pull me into your lap like a dog,” She continued icily. “I tell you I don’t want to do something, and instead of respecting that, you try to force me to do it for everyone’s entertainment. You know damn well that Rhys has never liked me, and how he meant it when he threatened to kill me a few months ago. And yet you pushed me to try and fight him anyways.”

Cassian stared at the frozen ground. Nesta could practically feel his confusion, a raging sea of emotions written all over his face. The wind blew his hair into his face, a sight that Nesta would have found beautiful once. But now it only filled her with sadness. She had bent herself backwards trying to become ‘worthy’ of Cassian in his and his family’s eyes, cursing herself alone at night and thinking she was the problem. Cassian was an objectively good male – loving, affectionate, good in the bedroom. Any female would be lucky to have him, so why wasn’t Nesta happy?

The answer had been deep down inside her, trying to claw its way to the surface, begging for Nesta to acknowledge it. And then it washed over her one day – everyone was quick to assume that she was the one at fault in the relationship, not Cassian. And somewhere along the way, she had convinced herself of that too, pushing down her gut feelings for the sake of trying to make it work with the general. She knew that her words shot to kill when she was mad, and she often couldn’t stop them no matter how much regret they filled her with. But when Cassian had come along, she learned to hold her tongue, to push back those claws inside her. The issue was that in the process of doing so, Nesta had begun holding her tongue more often than needed, bearing the facade of a female submitting to her mate just like everyone wanted. 

Nesta had finally been de-clawed, Cassian wearing her talons around his neck like a trophy. She felt like an open wound at every party, her former self slowly oozing out of the gaps in flesh Cassian had clawed from her. And the worst part was, everyone liked her better this way. But she felt the opposite of better, she felt suffocated and empty.

“I understand you are trying to push me out of my comfort zone,” Nesta continued through tears, swallowing the thick lump in her throat. “And I appreciate it because sometimes that is needed. But you’ve pushed too hard, Cassian.”

“I only wanted what was best for you.” Cassian said dully.

She scoffed. “And how would you know what’s best for me when you never asked me? What, you just assume because we’re together you have some sort of decision-making capacity over me? That you have any idea what’s going through my head, what I’m feeling, or even what I want?”

Cassian stood up, taking a step towards Nesta. She stepped back again, wanting to keep the space between them and not caring about the hurt that flashed across Cassian’s face. “I know you, Nes.” He said softly. “And I love you.”

“No, you don’t.” The wet spots on her cheeks began to freeze over in the cold wind. “You love the idea of me. You love being with me, having me by your side. But you don’t truly know me, Cassian. And you don’t truly love me. You just think you do.”

The hurt swimming in Cassian’s eyes churned into anger. “You’re kidding, right? So you mean the past five months we’ve spent together have been nothing? That I truly didn’t get to know you at all in that time?”

“You’re 500 years older than me, Cassian. Five months is a blink of an eye in your lifetime. So no, you didn’t truly get to know me in that time.”

Cassian scoffed bitterly, shaking his head. But Nesta continued. “The only reason you think you got to know me was because others forced us into each other’s proximity. I did not come to spend time with you on my own free will. And I was isolated from everyone and everything, except for you. In that time, Cassian you… you took something from me. You took little pieces of me - little pieces over time, so small I didn't even notice. You wanted me to be something I wasn't, and I made myself into what you wanted. And I let you, because I thought I could make you happy that way. But it will never happen again. I am done changing who I am to make myself ‘worthy’ of you.”

Nesta turned around, not waiting to hear his response as she strode down the snow covered cobblestone. There was no towering presence following after her, much to her relief. She did not go back to the River House, or in the direction of the House of Wind. Truthfully, Nesta had no clue where she was going, only that she was done letting herself fall apart to please people who would never love her for who she truly is.

[cxtori]

Hi :3

Can u please do a jealous scenario with Kumatani? (^o^)

Thank u <3

I love your writing <3

Mitsuo Kumatani ✭ Not Jealous

wc: 1.5k

genre: fluff, jealousy, establish relationship

warnings: n/a, most definitely a little ooc Kuma here lmao

Cat's note: I'm not gonna lie to you anon, I really struggled writing this. I just don't really see Kuma as the jealous type, so I didn't know what kind of situation to write lol. I hope he's not too OOC? I'm sorry babes, I did my best *cries* also, also SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG LOOOOL

Kumatani always considered himself a typically calm and collected man. Someone who didn’t let things get under his skin easily. It wasn’t often that his emotions got the better of him, but when they did, it was usually because something (or someone) had pushed his buttons until they shattered.

The emotion he usually felt in such instances was annoyance, sometimes frustration and anger. But what he was feeling right now was a new one, and it was intense. 

“Wow, these trees look great, Y/n!” Eddy exclaims. Kumatani watches as the assistant director stands beside you, patting you on the shoulder. Kumatani feels his heart wrench when you nervously laugh out a ‘thank you’.

The bear suit he was so “blessed” to wear everyday didn’t have many perks. It was hot and stuffy, oftentimes itchy. It was hard to move in and it impaired his spatial awareness which, for him, was frustrating. 

But, a pro to the suit was it allowed his eyes and face to do whatever they pleased as it wouldn’t be seen by anyone else. He could roll his eyes and give annoyed expressions all he wanted without consequence. 

So, for moments like this, when he’s glaring holes into the back of Eddy’s head, he was thankful for it.

“They’re really not a big deal,” you say, brushing off the man’s compliment. You pick up a fake maple leaf and reattach it to a plastic tree branch, hoping it’ll stay in place this time. “They only took a couple hours, and they’re already falling apart.”

“Come on, give yourself some credit!” Eddy says, shoving his rejected compliment back in your face. “I couldn’t do anything like this, which is exactly why we hired you.” 

“Haha, right,” you say with a forced laugh. “Well I should get these onto the set  before Derekida shouts at me,” you say as you carefully pick up one of your mini maple trees, your hands squeezing the rough, faux bark. But, before you can walk away, Eddy begins to speak again.

“Oh, hey, I was uhh… Well, ummm… ” Eddy stutters and you feel your stomach drop. Oh no. You know that look as well as that nervous quiver in his voice. Before he even continues you already know where this is going. “I was planning on trying out that new restaurant tonight, would you wanna go? O-only if you’re not busy, that is...”

Just as you feared. You and Kumatani have only been dating for a few months, and you both preferred to keep your relationship quiet, so you can’t blame Eddy for not knowing. But seriously? Here? Now? In front of your boyfriend? You admired his courage but hated his timing.

“Oh, Eddy that’s nice but,” you start, trying to find a way to let him down kindly. You turn your head just enough to see Kumatani out of the corner of your eye. You turn back to Eddy, ready to break the news, and possibly his heart. “Umm, thing is-”

“We’re busy tonight,” Kumatani interjects, popping up beside you. 

“Aww, really?” Eddy says, a hint of confusion in his voice.

“Yes, really,” Kumatani says sternly, laying an arm gently over your shoulders, silently saying all that was needed. “Now, leave her alone.” You glance over at your boyfriend, even though you can’t see his face. 

Not many people can tell when Kumatani is getting ticked unless he purposefully shows it. You however, can tell by the slightest change in his tone. And based on the few words he’s just spoken, he’s not just ticked, he’s pissed.

Your eyebrows quirk and you question just why he was so mad. Eddy doesn’t know you’re dating, and it’s not like he’s pushed your boundaries. Kumatani seems to surprise himself with his words, his stoic shell cracking a bit.

“Oh, I see… s-sorry,” Eddy mutters. The director walks away without another word, partly out of respect, but mostly out of fear. He knew better than to make Kumatani mad.

You stand there in silence for a moment, tiny tree in hand and stuffy bear suit over your shoulder. 

“Thank you. But you know you didn’t have to do that. It was just Eddy,” you say with an awkward giggle. Mitsuo removes his arm from you and takes a small step back.

“Sorry. I don’t really know-”

“Y/n! We need those trees!” Derekida’s voice echoes through the studio, cutting Kumatani off and making you jump out of your skin. You groan, turning to pick up another one of the fake plants.

“Be right there!” You shout back, doing your best to hide the annoyance in your voice. Though it's not like Derekida hasn't heard it before. You turn back to your boyfriend, still interested in hearing what he has to say. “Hold that thought, ‘kay? I’ll meet you in your dressing room in a minute.”

Kumatani just nods as he watches you stumble to the filming set with your props. 

It doesn’t take you long to get the trees set up in preparation for Utano and Iketeru’s next performance. The moment you’re satisfied with how everything looks, you sprint to the dressing rooms before Derekida can notice you’re leaving.

You knock on the door before entering, finding Mitsuo standing in the room with his bear suit removed. Well, all but the mask. You stand there in silence for a moment as you stare at him, wondering why he’s bothered to take off everything except for the head.

“Whatcha doing?” You ask curiously. Your boyfriend remains unmoving, his arms cross over his chest.

“What do you mean?” He says casually, like he doesn’t expect you to question his choice of outfit. You roll your eyes with a small laugh before walking up to him and gently placing your hands on the bear head.

“Come on, I can’t take you seriously with that thing on,” you say and he doesn’t resist as you carefully pull the mask up and off of his head. You smile at the sight of his steely grey eyes, much better than the soulless black dots of a fake bear.

“Hi,” you say airily, leaning closer to him.

“Hi,” he says in return, his lips curving in a faint smile. You set his mask down on the table and sit on the edge beside it.

“So, wanna tell me what happened earlier?” You ask. Mitsuo’s eyes flash with a very brief moment of annoyance, and you just barely catch it.

“There’s nothing to tell. He tried to ask you out and I told him off,”

“Yes, but I think there’s a little more to it than that,” you push gently. “You seemed pretty upset.”

He just looks at you, not bothering to give even a small hum in response. But recalling the situation from just a bit ago was getting him irritated again.

He’s being ridiculous, he knows he is. He's not sure what set him off to begin with. People are allowed to compliment you, especially on things you’ve poured your time and effort into. But for some reason, seeing Eddy interact with you like that angered him.

He wasn’t about to tell you that though. That would mean admitting that his emotions got the better of him. And even though it is something that has happened before, he didn't like the feeling of losing control.

You watch him stand in his silence, replaying the situation in your head when it hits you.

“Are you jealous?” You ask bluntly.

 “Jealous?” Mitsuo repeats, caught off guard by your assumption.  “Of course not.” He looks away from you and crosses his arms back over his chest. He’s trying to look unperturbed, but you absentmindedly make the connection to a pouting child. He may have been annoyed, but he certainly wasn’t jealous.

 “Oh, you’re so jealous. This is hilarious.”

“I said I’m not jealous,” he says simply, but from the slight change in his tone of voice, you can tell he’s at least a little jealous, even if he doesn’t know it. You laugh softly and stand from the table, walking over and taking your boyfriend's hands in yours.

You look up at him sincerely, though his eyes avoid yours.

“Mitsuooo,” you coo. The man grunts in annoyance, wanting this conversation to be over so he can leave. He never thought he’d be given the choice to wear his bear suit or talk to you. And he certainly never thought he’d want to choose the former of the two. 

You raise a hand to his cheek, tenderly pulling him to face you, smiling brightly when his eyes finally meet yours.

“It’s okay if you are, I’m just teasing,” you say. You lean up to place a soft kiss to his lips and, while at first he doesn’t kiss back purely out of indignation, he soon melts into you, unable to resist your lips against his. You pull away, a satisfied look on your face.

“Are we good?” You ask, just inches away from his lips. 

“There wasn’t a problem with us to begin with,” Mitsuo states, a smirk, while absent on his face, audible in his tone.

“You know what I mean,” you say with a laugh. “Please don’t give Eddy a hard time. I love you and only you, okay? You don’t have to worry about anyone else.”

“Are you sure?” Mitsuo jokes.

“Shut up!” You say, giving your boyfriend a playful punch on the arm. He smiles as he grips your waist and leans down to kiss you, his warm lips molding perfectly against yours, warmth spreading through your body.

“I love only you too.”

[kryptonitejelly]

I'm a big sucker for yearning and pining trope so reading your blurbs that contains those makes me go 🥰 haha so i have a blurb request!

say reader has been pining and yearning over aaron for so long and decided to tell him about reader's true feelings but reader didn't know that aaron is currently seeing someone :") he's all sorry and apologetic towards the reader :( after the 'rejection', reader ask for transfer request to another department bc as much as the reader try to not get affected, it still hurts :( reader and aaron separated (for idk how many years and months it's up to you) and they met again due to the clashing department has to work tgt on a case, aaron tried to tell the reader that back then his reasoning to 'reject' the reader is that he had a fear of being in a relationship w someone whose line of work is just as dangerous he is 😞 as much as he wanted to try it w the reader back then he couldn't do it thus he tried to be in a relationship w someone outside his field of job. the ending is up to you whether it will be angst or fluffy or whatever!! thank you and sorry if the blurb comes out messy im not really good writing out ideas :((((

A/N: nawh baby, its ok, the idea is greattt and came off really well but i’m not too sure if i did it enough justice 🤨

Your heart is hammering in your chest, the rapid thumping audible in your ears, as you walk into the BAU. A small wistful smile flickers across your face as you look around, taking into account the familiar layout.

“Look who is back.” You hear Derek before you see him emerging from around the corner.

“Last time I was here you were still in the bullpen.” You tease as you open your arms while simultaneously stepping into his. “I see someone has an office now.”

He laughs and shrugs as he squeezes you tight. “Acting as Hotch’s stand in for a few months had its perks.”

You laugh as Derek draws away, winking at you, but you feel your heart sink at the name “Hotch”.

It had been 2 years away from the BAU, 2 years since your transfer out to cybercrimes, but the sting of rejection was something not so easily forgotten.

(“I’m seeing someone, her name is Beth.”

“Oh…..”

“(Y/N)-”

“Forget I said anything Aaro- Hotch.”

“Can we - ”

“Just forget it. I gotta go.”)

“They couldn’t drag you out of the room huh?”

“They tried.” He winks, reciprocating your banter as he goes in for a side hug, squeezing your shoulders lightly. “Good to have you back, even if only temporary.”

Your lips part as you begin to respond when a flurry of voices exclaiming your name take over. You turn, releasing yourself from Derek’s half hug to find the rest of the team tumbling in through the glass doors, JJ, Spence, Emily, Dave, Penelope and following up behind them, an unreadable expression on his face, Aaron. It makes your heart seize and belly sink when he catches your eye over Emily’s shoulder as she pulls you in for a hug, offering you a tentative smile.

(“You wanted to see me?”

“You put in a transfer request.”

“I did, cybercrimes.”

“If this is about…”

“It isn’t.”

“You are good at the work we do here, I - the team won’t want to lose you.”

“I’ve thought it through Hotch.”)

“(Y/N).”

“Hotch.” You extend your arm to grasp his in a quick handshake. You read the small shifts in his expression, the pause before he shakes your hand, the moment of thought which is accompanied by a twitch in his cheek, and small flare of his nostrils as he finally extends his hand to meet yours, not liking it but going with the flow.

(“These are the last of my files.”

“Can I get you to change your mind?”

“I think the change will be a good one for me.”

“I … - You know where to find us if you ever change your mind.”)

-

You press your thumbs to your temples, as you duck your head down, eyes staring intently at the papers spread out in front of you, your eyes searching for the pattern you needed to find but could not.

“I hope you haven’t changed the way you take your coffee.”

A paper cup slides into view on the table beside you.

“Two splendas and a dash of milk.” You confirm, eyeballing the cup before looking up to meet Aaron’s eyes. “Thanks Hotch.” You manage to push out after a pause. You had been avoiding him ever since you had stepped back into the BAU, keeping the conversation minimal, and busying yourself with everyone else and the case.

“I liked it better when you used to call me Aaron.” His quiet admission surprises you, but you school your features as you spring the coffee cup to your lips, offering no response.

He slides into the chair beside you, and you look around.

“Where is everyone else?”

“They went back to the hotel, I told them I would wait for you.”

“You didn’t have to Hotch.”

“I’m not letting you go back alone.” He offers you a small smile, fingers smoothing down his tie, and you let yourself look at him, taking in the shadows under his eyes, the five o clock shadow appearing on his jaw, - he was tired.

“I’m done, we can go.” You stand, packing up your papers.

(“Are you leaving because of Aaron?”

“Rossi… what, did he say something to you.”

“He said nothing, but you both manage to say plenty without saying anything. We aren’t all blind you know.”

“I read it wrong.”

“I don’t think you did bella. It just…. It isn’t so simple for him. He’s been though alot.”

“I know.”)

-

“I broke up with Beth.” He confesses suddenly, breaking the silent hum of the SUV along the road.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” You tighten your fingers into a fist in your lap, your eyes trained on the passing street lamps outside the window. You catch a flicker of him glancing at you through the reflection against the window which the night brings.

“You never replied any of my texts.” He refers to the few texts he had sent you now and then, checking up on you.

“I’ve been busy.” Your reply is short, clipped, and it causes silence to fall over the both of you.

“I was afraid.” His voice is raw, quiet, real and it makes you turn to look at his side profile as he keeps his eyes trained on the road in front of him.

“Afraid?” You echo, letting yourself hope.

“Of being with someone who face the same dangers as I do.” You are silent, and he continues. “I was afraid of feeling like I had everything, only to lose it all again.”

The car rolls to a stop in the hotel’s parking garage, and you find yourself looking straight at him, his eyes holding yours, yours searching his. Your heart is hammering against the edge of your ribs.

“What are you saying Hotch.”

“That I was a fool 2 years ago,” you see the fire behind his eyes, “and I shouldn’t have let you walk out of my office, on us, on me.”

He reaches across the center console of the SUV, his hand slipping over your fists and you let him, letting yourself and emotions unfurl.

“I would like to get to know you again if you’ll let me.” His hand tightens around yours.

“Ok.” Is all you manage to whisper.

[ghoulangerlee]

Swiss/Aeon ; The Tickling Fic ; M

last Friday there was a video of Swiss getting tickled by the new bug and I sent that to Kel who responded with: "how long do you think it'll take someone to write that fic?"

Hi, I'm here to write the tickling fic I guess.

I use the name Aeon for the new bug haha. Also I don't normally write ghoul/ghoul so I had to resist the urge to add in the old man (my beloved).

rated: M-ish

contains: tickling (is it Aeon's kink? who knows), masturbation, rutting, spit (very briefly, but it's Swiss???)

-

He doesn't quite know why he did it in the first place, crowding up against Swiss as everyone gathered on stage for their final bows, his hands immediately reaching out and grabbing for Swiss' waist, digging his fingers into the muscle.

He feels Swiss jolt against him, hands going down to grab at his wrists, can hear him laugh and squirm—its all silly, a joke, nothing too serious.

That's what he tells himself when Swiss squeezes his wrists just a little too tight before letting go, batting his hands away as they fall into line to bow, and when they bow as one, he can smell the change in Swiss' scent. Full of post show endorphins, full of something, maybe arousal, wafting off of him.

He opens his mouth to inhale deeply and taste and forgets, at the last second that he keeps his mouth covered, because out of all of them, he's the worst at keeping his glamour up when he's not focusing on it intensely.

And then, they're filing off stage as the noise of the crowd reaches a crescendo, and Aeon's eyes are trained on Swiss' back, and the way the sweat makes his shirt stick between his shoulder blades, revealing the definition and shape so beautifully.

He's still new to the band, and will be new for a while now, but he's figured things out recently, with these ghouls, with Papa, how things work after shows, how it's not strange at all for two or three or more of them to break off and find a secluded corner to release some stress.

Which is why he's pretty sure no one really bats an eyelash when he quickens his pace and crowds against Swiss' back again, hands going to rest on his hips as he nudges him forward and away from the others, eyes glowing bright behind the lenses of his helmet as he seeks out one of the unused rooms.

Swiss is laughing, though not loud, but Aeon can feel the way Swiss seems to vibrate against him, his hands dropping down briefly to pet at where Aeon's hands are visible, dragging his fingertips along the backs of his hands before pulling away.

They'd been dancing around each other recently, the tension building up so much even Papa could sense it, a mildly embarrassing moment, to have his boss just give him a look while waving his hand between the two of them as if saying well? are you going to go for it?

And well, Aeon didn't explicitly need permission, but having it made him feel at least a little bit better about not messing up the natural chemistry or whatever.

There's an unused dressing room, the door cracked open just enough that Aeon can see that it's filled with stuff, probably being used as a storage room now, and the heat and want under his skin reaches its climax—he's shorter than Swiss, no doubt not as strong as Swiss either, but Swiss goes easily as he pushes him into the room, kicking the door shut behind them.

And Swiss stands there, relaxed, his head tilted to the side, still facing away from Aeon, as if he's waiting for Aeon to make the first move, waiting to see where this is going.

It drives Aeon a little mad, and he pulls his helmet off and shoves the balaclava down around his neck; his glamour is gone now, keeping his form hidden the last thing on his mind as he crowds against Swiss's back, immediately digging his fingers into Swiss's sides almost a little too harshly. A mimic of what he'd done on stage.

Swiss stumbles a bit, catching himself against a stack of cardboard boxes, his head tilting downwards as he laughs, arching his back against Aeon as the shorter ghoul continues to drag his fingertips along his sides, finding all the sensitive spots.

All the while, Swiss' scent spikes, heavy with arousal as his laughter trails off into a wheezing gasp, a plea of some kind.

Aeon exhales, mouth open as he breathes heavily into the center of Swiss' back, inhaling the scent of sweat and arousal until he's light headed with it, scrabbling to tug Swiss's shirt out of his pants so he can touch his skin properly.

Swiss's skin is sticky with sweat against his palms, but he shivers and lets out something close to a whimper when Aeon's nails, sharp and long, drag lightly against his sides.

"You are going to kill me," Swiss wheezes out, finally saying something, his voice loud among the silence, among their heavy breathing.

Aeon doesn't respond to him, just presses his nails a bit harder against Swiss' sides for a moment, before he digs the pads of his fingers into the muscle there, pulling more confused laughter out of Swiss' mouth.

Swiss swears softly, hunching over a bit as Aeon tries to press closer, sinking his teeth into Swiss's shoulder, through his shirt, the only place he can really reach like this.

And Swiss has to grab Aeon's wrist again, squeeze it tightly even as Aeon sort of growls around the mouthful of shirt and muscle he has in his mouth, as if Swiss is trying to pull him away from touching him.

(He's not.)

It continues like this for a bit, Aeon mostly focused on trying to make Swiss laugh, following lines of goosebumps as they pop up all across Swiss's sides and chest, his fingers insistent, digging in when Swiss gasps out as Swiss holds on tight to his wrist, keeping at least one hand resting on his belly, right at the waistband of his pants.

(Swiss doesn't quite understand where Aeon is going with this, but he's always up for trying something new, and with the way Aeon's pressing into him, hard against the swell of his ass, mouthing at his shoulder through his shirt, Swiss is all on board for whatever this ends up being.)

He hopes, somewhat, that Aeon's intending to get him off and not just tickle him, however arousing this is without any other stimuli. But Swiss is impatient on the worst days and slightly less impatient on the best, so with his free hand he does his best to tear open the lacings on his pants and get them open just enough to relieve some of the pressure there.

It's as if the promise of skin is enough for Aeon to be bolder in his touch, wiggling free of Swiss' grip on his wrist, his fingers inch below the waistband, into the open vee of his pants and Aeon exhales as his fingertips make contact with the wiry hair at the base of Swiss' dick.

"You're going to have to touch yourself," he manages to get out after a few moments, words heavy in his mouth as his tongue clumsily works through them, his fangs feel too big for his mouth like this, "Can't." He presses the tips of his claws into the hair, hearing Swiss exhale sharply, his scent growing heavier with arousal and Aeon growls a little, "Not now," he mumbles, a whine catching at the end.

Swiss laughs a little, files away Aeon's not quite denial for later when he has more time to think about Aeon's claws near his dick and the implications of that.

Instead, be pushes Aeon's hand away and mumbles under his breath as he shimmies his pants down just enough to free himself.

Aeon's hands are back on his sides, his fingers poking and prodding at muscle and fat alike, dragging his nails along the skin in a way that has Swiss shivering, leaning his weight back into Aeon's solid body.

The first few strokes of his own hand are dry and a bit unpleasant, so he pulls away, lifting his arm and reaching back behind him to nudge his knuckles against Aeon's horns.

He makes a confused sort of sound, drunk on the scent of Swiss' arousal, lifts his head and looks at Swiss' hand, "Hm?"

Swiss rolls his eyes, feels a bit fond for the guy, "Spit," he says, wiggling his fingers a bit, "Since you won't get me off because you can't keep your shit under control," he teases, "I'm not jerkin' myself dry."

Aeon huffs, leaning up to nip at Swiss' fingers momentarily before he spits into his palm, a little off center and wet.

"Satanas," Swiss mumbles, and then he's wrapping his hand around himself again, swearing under his breath as Aeon drags his claws down his sides, ruts against him from behind. "Oh, you wanna get off too, now?" He asks, just to be difficult, "Can't even touch me but you want something from me anyway, huh?"

Aeon growls lowly at that, sinks his teeth into Swiss' shoulder again as if he's trying to get the other ghoul to behave, his fingertips press almost cruelly into muscle and fat, drawing a choked sounding laugh from the taller ghoul as he jolts backwards into Aeon.

In his hazy mind, Swiss also files this away for later as well, wonders if he could push Aeon's buttons even more to get him to really put Swiss in his place.

(He's thinking, somewhat distantly, about Aeon's teeth in the back of his neck while he fucks him, claws digging into his sides as he holds him in place.)

Aeon tries to formulate words, a response, something, but all that's going through his mind is rutrutrut and the scent and taste of Swiss' arousal as it grows with each pass of his fingers on his most sensitive spots, tickling his ribs and making Swiss bend over, holding himself up against the boxes he'd stumbled into while he furiously jerks himself off with the hand not keeping him steady.

Aeon growls low in his throat when he feels about to burst, too far gone to worry about the consequences of coming in his pants, just sinks his teeth into Swiss again, digs his fingers in hard and faster, making Swiss breathless and gasp for air, lightheaded with the pleasure-pain.

And then, Swiss yells, no doubt alerting someone, anyone of where they are and what they're doing, shaking as he comes with Aeon's name on the tip of his tongue.

A low whine catches in Aeon's throat as Swiss suddenly grabs his hands and jerks them away from his sides, breaking the skin contact—his grip on his wrists is tight, almost too tight, but Aeon buries his face into Swiss' shirt and ruts against him until he's stifling his own noises as he comes, gasping wetly against Swiss' shoulder.

Aeon is almost distantly aware of Swiss pulling away, and for a brief moment, he wonders if he'd somehow forced this on Swiss, but those fears are soon squashed as Swiss gathers him into his arms, muttering something under his breath about overeager ghouls wearing themselves out.

In the time it'd taken for him to turn around, Swiss had pulled his helmet off and placed it down on the stack of boxes, and Aeon makes a pleased little noise when he's able to easily bury his face in Swiss' throat, breathing him in.

Sated. Warm. Pleased.

"You're a little demon," Swiss says softly, combing his fingers through Aeon's unruly hair, but he sounds fond, "I bet my shoulder looks like it's been mauled by a monster." He murmurs with a laugh. "You're a feisty little fella, aren't you?" He asks, though it's rhetorical, the little fella really makes something in Aeon's gut burn.

He whines, pawing at Swiss' sides now that the other ghoul had righted his shirt, "Shh," he mumbles, trying to get his tongue to cooperate properly.

Swiss laughs and shakes his head, lets Aeon rest against him for another minute longer before he pulls away, "Alright, well, as much as I'd love to stay here with you, we really need to find the others. The bus will probably leave soon. Don't want to be stranded."

Aeon does not whine at that even though he wants to, he steps back and pulls himself together as much as he can, pulls his balaclava back up over half of his face and finds his helmet, upside down, on the floor.

There is however, a stain on the front of his pants, and though he knows it's not really proper, he doesn't feel shame for it. Thinks about how this is really his first time making a move with anyone in the band, and how long he'd manage to keep himself under control, he's not going to feel bad about it. Not this.

"Hey, Bug," Swiss says, drawing him from his thoughts, his own helmet on now, coming to stand by Aeon, "My bunk tonight?" He asks, somewhat casual as he rests his hand on Aeon's side, his palm wide and warm through both of his shirts.

Aeon shivers, feels the way Swiss' grip tightens a bit, can see the sharpness of his teeth when he grins, "Yeah, yeah," he says, a little bit too eager.

[barb-l]

Ohh! You might be right about Wednesday wearing dark blue in Fam Values but I swear I can only recall her bathing suit, one Morticia dress and Debbie's fits at the moment haha. I'm gonna probably rewatch both movies before Halloween though. Wbu? Are u planning any spooky movie marathon maybe? Also oof I'm so sorry abt your experience with the school for g00d and and evil. I haven't seen it.. yet(?).. but I read the book ages ago and um yeah. 😐😑😒

GOSH THANK U SO MUCH for posting your draft, you made my night!! Like I'm sitting here with a huge, dumb smile on my face cause it's so sweet and wholesome! Enid knew she was gonna miss Wednesday even before parting for the summer so she gave her her number but didn't have much hope she would even keep it. But Wednesday did keep it and bought a phone so just she could text her because she missed her too! OH BE STILL MY HEART 😳 That's also what Enid must have told herself after receiving that msg and realizing that ''Wednesday Addams actually missed me'' 😳

That bit about Enid thinking of Wesnesday and her smile? I SWOONED

And how Wednesday keeps making HER smile effortlessly with just being her weird as shit gothic ass self? The one Enid grew to LO- LIKE so much? OH MY HEART

This is such a fantastic draft you have here and I'm so grateful and honored you shared it with us. 💛 I'm no way asking or bugging you to finish it before the show drops cause I understand you prefer to post canon compliant content. All I'm gonna say is if inspiration strikes and you find your head full of ideas for this fic don't let anything stop you from writing it. You're genuinely amazing in expressing yourself in both writing and drawing so sometimes you can have a little non-canon stuff too as a treat 😄 I for one am gonna love love love it either way among many others. Of course it's up to you and only you, like I said I understood your reasoning perfectly. It's just.. this is waaaay to good to be scrapped. Really. Alright I will shut up now. Thanks again 💛

Ah not really. Whatever time i have when im not working, id rather spend drawing either for fun or my commissions. Although i do love creepy and macabre stuff, im not a big fan of horror movies. A lot of them are more about either shocking viewers and being as gorey and torture porn-y as possible, which isn't really my thing. Tho there are some horror movies out there i quite liked, I prefer to watch compilation videos of ghosts caught on camera and stuff if im in the mood for something spooky.

The SGE movie's pretty good for someone like me who hasn't read the books. My brother and I actually had tons of fun until all the confusing qb(and the whole thing with Rafal and Sophie. Barf). Like, if the filmmakers knew Agatha and Sophie were sisters then why have them kiss on the lips?? Unless they plan on retconning that since i hear that was only revealed at a later book...

Omg thank you! Ive mentioned it before but I'm not as confident with my writing as i am with my art, so compliments regarding my fics are always super appreciated. I'll consider continuing to write it, if there's still more i can squeeze out of me.

[hergrandplan]

I didn't know you write fics!!! My to-read list is getting scarily long, but i'm def squeezing you in after the newest wip chapters on my list!!!

You answered so many questions already, but how about 2, 3 and 37 for the writing ask game?

Little fun fact! I started writing fics as a teen (mostly for Percy Jackson) and then stopped, thinking I'd lost my drive or muse or whatever. And then I watched Young Royals... and now I can't stop writing haha.

Even better, I never wrote a singular multichapter fic (that I actually thought I could finish) before Young Royals. And the start of a multichapter was the very first fic I posted in this fandom 😂

2. Is there a trope you've yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

I am so glad you asked this cause this is the one i wanted to answer most. Cause I've been watching One Day (like the rest of the world) and though the romance is good, I guess, the thing that intrigues me most about it is the storytelling. Every episode is just one day, one day a year, and somehow it manages to let you know exactly what happened in the 364 days before that episode, where the characters are standing now in their life and their feelings, they make it make SENSE somehow (I'm not feeling like I'm missing anything) and they move the plot along. in the space of 30 minutes per episode. which is incredible, and I maybe want to try and write something like that.

There's also a dark academia fic that I maybe want to write, but with other ideas I've had it has sadly been shoved to the bottom of my stack

3. Is there a trope you woudn't touch with a ten foot pole?

surprise pregnancy as a way to keep the main couple together.

Gross.

37. Talk about your current WIPs

I feasibly can't talk about ALL of them. that is way too much. But here's the ones that I'm most excited for:

Suburban Legends (6/?) : like I said, this is the first multichapter I've ever posted that I am 100% sure about I'm going to finish. I've never had an idea that was strong enough to make it into a multichapter until this one, in fact I never wrote a fic longer than 2.5k words before this and the wordcount in my doc is 40k at the moment. The way I think about this fic daily is unhealthy, but I love it. They're both a little bit oblivious idiots, it's wasn't meant to be angsty but in hindsight, I don't know how I thought I could have them be exes and also have it fluffy, but there's so many good things to come I'm !!!!

(working title) See The Stars, See How They Shine For You: inspired by none other than Omar at the Oscars. Former Crown Prince of Sweden attends the Oscars (or some other award show, I'm not set on it yet) and meets Simon, who works there as an usher of sorts. Simon is very annoyed with him (why is a prince at this award show) but that quickly changes when he realizes what a loveable idiot Wille is. Banter and fluff galore I am so so excited for it

and one that I started this week and wrote 3k words for in one night: (untitled). (aka i had a title but realized that title was already taken BUT). Wille never chased after Simon in that final scene. Though he abdicated a year later, they never saw each other again. Until Simon finds a letter in his mom's attic, and reaches out. It's so angsty already and I love it

(and there's a bunch of one-shots I have planned, like their first labour day together and wille's 18th birthday where Simon makes up for the shitshow that was the previous year. someone needs to take word away from me lol)

Send me writing asks while I procrastinate lol

[echoesofstardust]

you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. put your favourite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag ten people! no skipping!

thanks @iwantthemtostay for the tag <3

1. the bed we made - tim mcgraw & faith hill

2. let's stay home tonight - needtobreathe

3. if i could fly - one direction

4. groceries - mallrat

5. home - cover by paravi

6. the lighthouse keeper - sam smith

7. pancakes for dinner - lizzy mcalpine

8. dance with me - morgan evans (feat. kelsea ballerini)

9. maybe we will - noah schnacky

10. my person - spencer crandall

tagging: @october-bird @reignandco @idontneedtobeforgiven @tisaqueen @peacefulboo @purplehazinggirl @falsettodrop @goodthingscomeinthrees @carmen-sandiego-fic @soshedances18 + anyone else who'd like to join <3

[noctumbra]

if you're open to non-smut request, i'd like to ask for biker!bucky being jealous when you see him talking to a guy friend of yours and then he later acts cold and quiet and you end up talking about it? i'm in the mood for something fluffy haha love your writing!! ❤

ahhh jealous biker baby 😌 also yes bby we’re open to some non-smut requests <3

oof okay

he'd watch you from far away, leaning against his motorcycle; all black and leather, dark and handsome.

you won't see him at first because it had been a while since you saw matt. you have missed your friend, so you immediately engage in an easy conversation with him

you are smiling widely, sometimes your hand travels from his shoulder tomhis elbow and sometimes you just pull him into an unexpected hugs

bucky watches you and him laugh along, being close and having fun. the jealously is boiling in his veins

all he wants to do is go up to you, grab you by the waist and pull you against him and maybe punch the guy in the face because he wants to

but he knows that you don't like those kind of things. it'd only cause an argument which he doesn't like to have with you

so bucky just leans against his bike and watches as he smokes

he watches the way the guy holding your hands, stroking your wrist with him thumb and squeezing you tightly whenever you hug him

it lasts ten minutes but bucky feels like it's been going forever

you turn your head to look for him in the tenth minute, and you wave at him when your eyes find his

bucky just nods, usually he waves back but he's jealous and angry and doubting himself to the hilt right now, so he just nods

you immediately frown and pout a little

"are you okay?" you hear matt asking you worriedly. he must have felt it, you thought and murmur a yes to him

"you're around from now on, right?" you ask. your whole being is dying to be around bucky and make whatever you did wrong to make it right. when matt says yes, you bid him a goodbye and break out a run towards bucky

"hey," you say, breathless, "why are you waiting here? why didn't you come—" your frown gets deeper as you realize that he is all too serious. "what did i do wrong," you whisper, pouting

"nothing," he murmurs as he stands up suddenly and holds your helmet to you.

"bucky," you try to talk to him, but he wasn't having it

"put your helmet on and let's go," he murmurs again, voice darker now. you do as he says, he looks a bit upset and angry and you don't want to make him even more upset and angry

in a minute, you're wearing your helmet and sitting behind bucky, arms wrapped around him. you stick your hands under his t-shirt and start to stroke his skin in a way of calming him down

bucky doesn't say anything about it. he starts the engine and you are off like a bullet

you understand why he's acting like this when you arrive home. he probably didn't mean it, but he mentioned matt, and you suddenly got it

"you're jealous," you state, making him freeze in his spot. "you're jealous of me and matt." you chuckle. bucky grits his teeth. he can't see the reason why you're laughing at him

"there is nothing to laugh at," he sneers, and you stop. moving close to him, you hold his hands, place them on your face

"you're right, there isn't," you start, "but baby, matt and i are friends. like you and steve? we met when we were ten and srot of stuck together ever since." you kiss his palm, nuzzle into it like a cat

"it's been a very long time since i had seen him, and it felt nice to see him again," you explain softly, your eyes boring into his. "and when i did see him in front of me? i got excited. i have never thought about him in that way, james, trust me."

bucky still looks upset, you note, and you rise on your tiptoes so that you can wrap your arms around his neck and maybe get him to touch you

"he's married, baby," you whisper against his lips. "he's been married for five years now, we were friends and are still friends. we will continue to be friends. there is only you living and breathing in my heart."

bucky doesn't look like he was convinced, his eyes are carrying a little bit hurt, so you kiss him chastely on the lips.

"talk to me," you plead, hating the way he's being quiet right now.

"you're not gonna leave me?" he asks then, and your heart breaks. kissing him one more time, you shake your head vigorously.

"no, james, i'm not gonna leave you," you answer him seriously. "he's a friend, but you're the man i'm in love with! i can't live without you being around me, baby, you know that!"

bucky sniffs quietly and his arms wrap themselves around your waist. you smile at him. "really? i mean, i won't blame you if—"

pressing your fingers over his lips, you shut him up. "i love you," you say, eyes never leaving his. "i will always love you, not him. i mean him too, but not like i love you. i'll never love someone else like i love you! james, you're the one for me."

bucky lets out a broken sound, a sound that makes you want to hug him tight and never let go. he nods, sniffs one more time, and nods again.

"i love you too," he whispers, leaning against you, your foreheads now touching. "you're the one for me, too, y/n"

and fuck, you might be crying because it always feels so nice to hear him say that he loves you. you whimper softly and kiss him.

you kiss him with your all might, with your all love, all heart. bucky moans, surprised, but returns your kiss just as enthusiastic. just as in love.

he knows that you're his girl, his baby girl, and his everything. you mean so much to him, even the thought of losing you drives him crazy sometimes

so, bucky kisses you. swallowing your broken moans, he kisses you with his existence.

just as in love.

it's so soft imma cry brb

[vintagedolan]

Please write something with the "I'm sorry I made you cry baby" line in it please IM BEGGING

could you write something about being on your period and leaking on grayson’s bed? everything in his room is white and I would be so nervous if I was on my period there haha love you and your writing xx

When you were on your period there were three things that made coming home from work blissful: undoing your pants, undoing your bra, and seeing Grayson.

In that order.

Usually if you came into his room having already started undressing, he’d be more than excited. But he knew you were on your period, and more importantly he knew it was your second day, your worst and heaviest day. So when you came trudging into his room, pants undone and unzipped, bra in hand, he pouted at you, hating to see you hurting.

“Hey angel,” he cooed, moving towards you.

You sidestepped, and elegantly flopped down onto the bed, groaning into the comforter.

“I hate having a uterus,” you grumbled, so muffled that even Grayson, who had plenty of experience listening to you, could barely understand.

“What do you need, hmmm? Ibuprofen? Ice cream? Hot pack? Cuddles?” His hand moved under your shirt to your back, warm and firm as he rubbed.

You grumbled in interest at the last one, making him chuckle to himself. He bit his tongue, not saying what you reminded him of when you got like this - turns out, you didn’t take well to being called gremlin, even if it was in the most loving of tones. He’d learned that lesson a few months back.

“I’m down for cuddles,” he offered, moving to lay next to you. He paused when you groaned again, worried that he’d done something that had hurt you.

“What’s wrong?”

“I gotta change my fucking tampon but I don’t wanna get up.”

He sighed, rubbing over your lower back, down over your ass a few times - it was more soothing than it was sexual.

“The one thing I can’t really help you with love. Go do it quick, and then we can cuddle.” 

Begrudgingly, you peeled yourself up off the bed and headed to the bathroom, grabbing the little box that Grayson always kept stocked for you under the counter. It was quick work, but Grayson was quicker. When he heard the sink turn on he coaxed the door open, peeking in.

“Gray or white?” You turned to see, relieved to find two pairs of sweatpants in his hands.

“Gray,” you said, moving to dry your hands. 

“Yes?” He gave you his cheekiest smile, proud of his joke. You didn’t have the energy to laugh, only give him a smile and a head shake, but he didn’t take it personally, passing you the sweatpants and one of his tshirts. You stripped down quickly, pulling on the clothes that smelled like a mixture of his wakeheart scent and his laundry detergent, just the fabric alone already relaxing you. 

Grayson was waiting on the bed, already having your comfort show pulled up on his laptop, arm out ready to wrap around you. You crawled up the bed, nestling up as close as you could to him.

While you loved being in Grayson’s arms anytime, there was a specific way he held you while you were on your period that made you love it even more. He noticed once that when your cramps got bad, you’d hunch over and press against your abdomen. So, he’d mastered the ‘ovary hold’ as he called it, which involved him pulling you up against his chest and wrapping his arm around you tight enough for his torso to press against your tummy, just enough pressure for it to be relieving. 

As soon as he had you wrapped up your whole body relaxed against him and you hummed, more than comfortable.

“You tired bubs?” 

“Mhmmm,” you sighed, almost groaning as he rubbed his hand over your back and hips slow and deep, doing his best to get the knots out. 

“Sleep then, maybe it’ll ease up the cramps.” 

“Okay.” It didn’t take any convincing, your eyelids already heavy. “I love you.”

“Love you more.” His lips against your forehead were the last thing you felt before you drifted off.

The first thing you felt when you woke up almost two hours later? 

100 times less pleasant. 

It was the much too wet and warm feeling between your legs that you knew too well.

You’d bled through. And though you couldn’t see it, you could tell it was bad.

“Fuck, fuckfuckfuck,” you whispered to yourself, trying to move off of Grayson. His face scrunched up, arm only tightening against you.

“Mmmmm, I’ve got you baby, shhh,” he mumbled, eyes still closed and voice raspy with sleep. 

“Grayson. Gray, wake up,” you pushed on his chest, making him open his eyes quickly in concern, though he had to blink a few times before he could see you clearly. 

“You okay?” 

“Uh... not really.”

Your words woke him up the rest of the way and he sat up, rubbing at his eyes and relaxing his arm. Just the shift of your weight was enough for you to feel that you’d definitely soaked through your panties and most likely the sweatpants. 

“What is it, what’s wrong?” Grayson’s voice was deep with concern, one hand still resting on you protectively. 

“I uh... um... I. I bled through my tampon.” You could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks as you looked down at his chest.

“Oh, are there not more in the bathroom? I thought that box was new,” he frowned, obviously a bit confused.

“No, like bled through to my underwear. And your pants. And probably your comforter. I’m sorry.” You were scared to move, scared to make it worse - and the thought of waddling to the bathroom in front of your boyfriend was humiliating. 

“You don’t have to apologize baby, it’s not a big deal.”

You looked up at him then, searching his face for the disgust he was hiding. You didn’t find a trace of it anywhere. 

“It’s embarrassing. And I probably ruined your pants.”

“Baby you can’t control it, it’s not your fault. And I have plenty of pants. Seriously, don’t worry about it. It’s okay, I promise. You wanna go get cleaned up?”

“Yeah, I think it’s a shower or nothing at this point.”

“Need me to do anything?”

You bit your lip, knowing he wasn’t going to like your answer. “Could you close your eyes? Just while I walk into the bathroom.”

He hesitated, looking directly at you. 

“You have nothing to be ashamed about. But if it’ll make you feel better, then yeah, I’ll close my eyes.” 

“Thank you,” you sighed, watching his eyelashes flutter down as he closed his eyes. You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips, another thank you, before you crawled off the bed. Of course, with your luck, you’d bled through onto his white comforter too, just like you’d feared. You were determined to make it a quick shower so you could get to all the stains before anything got too dry or set in. 

Grayson opened his eyes once he heard the bathroom door close with a sigh. He wasn’t the least bit worried about it - not even the red splotch on the comforter that he found. He pulled out his phone, opening safari, typing quickly.

best way to get period blood out of fabric

He read what google had to offer quickly, pleased to see that hydrogen peroxide was listed - he had plenty of that, considering it’s what he used to clean out his longboarding scrapes when he got them. 

As quietly as he could, he pulled the comforter off the bed, waiting for the familiar sound of the shower to come on before he snuck into the bathroom. He sat the comforter down next to your pile of soiled clothes, heading back out to grab a pair of old black DT sweats, a new shirt and a pair of panties that you’d left once. He folded them neatly on the counter, reaching for your bloody clothes and moving them to the bathtub. 

He followed the google instructions of flushing out as much of the blood as he could with cold water, starting with the comforter. It wasn’t much, so he just wet it and treated it with the peroxide before he moved on to the sweatpants, a larger, angry red stain spread across the crotch. They weren’t terrible either, and he did as the instructions said, washing them out and treating them. Finally, he got to your panties. His eyebrows shot up at the sheer amount of blood, water running red below his hands as he worked the fabric under the stream. He knew women bled a lot, but jesus he didn’t realize it could be that much, especially in such a short time. When the water ran clear he treated them as well, gathering up everything and heading for the washer, glad that your shower was still going.

Afterwards, as quickly as he could he snagged the coziest blankets from the living room, tossing them over his bed in case you wanted to sleep again. As a final touch he headed back into the bathroom and grabbed a tampon for you, placing it on top of your folded clothes before leaving the bathroom and closing the door. 

He heard the water turn off a few minutes later, the familiar shuffle of you putting clothes on audible through the door.

But what he didn’t expect was for you to have tears running down your face when you opened that door, eyes searching for him. When they landed on the makeshift bedding arrangement, you broke down even more, realizing why your clothes were missing, what he’d done while you were showering.

“Hey, why are you crying, what’s wrong?” He was in front of you in an instant, 

“You cleaned everything,” you blubbered into his chest, overwhelmed with his thoughtfulness and your hormones. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to angel, it’s okay, you don’t have to cry. C’mon, we’ll lay down and watch an episode.” 

You only nodded, sniffling a bit as he wiped your tears, leading you over to the bed and assuming the same position you had been in, the ovary hold and all. 

“I’m sorry I made you cry, baby,” he said after your sniffles finally subsided, pouting a bit when you looked up at him. You kissed it away, trying to reassure him that he didn’t do anything wrong. 

“You’re an absolute dream Grayson Dolan, and I don’t tell you that enough,” you murmured into his neck once you got comfortable and settled. He just squeezed you tighter and left a kiss on your forehead before he hit play, content to hold you and do whatever he could for you. 

[ruleofexception]

Ok so! For fic questions I was wondering 1) what are your top three favorite fics that you have written (are writing/wanting to write)? 2) What fic of yours has hit you MOST in the feels? 3) And what fic of yours would you consider the FLUFFIEST :3? [small question: but any specific headcanons or extra thoughts you wanna dash on any of your fics? :3] Hope this is okie!

Ohhhh! Of course! This is more than okay <3 

All great questions. Okay. Uhm...

1) Top three favourites would probably be:

- The Fall of the Crown rewrite! I actually look forward to Saturday nights now, just to post the next chapter haha. I do still need to wrap up the final chapter/epilogue, but am finally done editing the last few chapters (we're up to a whooping 227K)!

- Unheavenly Creatures! I. Love. This. Fic. It's easily one of the ones I'm most proud of. And I have a lot of fun when writing it. I'm so excited for FOTC to finally wrap itself up, so I can dive into this one and do it justice <3

- If my brain ever gives me more than just random shenanigans for Life Eternal, I would love to continue this one. But, until I figure out a plot I'm happy with, this'll be one of those fics that sits on the back-burner with the rest of my poor drafts. So many pots on the stove. All of them burning.

2) Most feels:

I have exactly two fics that have made me cry while writing them: Sword & Bauble and Fall of the Crown. S&B for the obvious reason (I legit cried my way through writing ch 1 and the only reason I could keep going was because I just kept muttering that it would be fine. That I would fix it). And you've yet to see the scene that made me cry in FOTC (and as it's not until like, ch38, you won't see it for a while lol). But I definitely teared up and had to walk away and make myself some tea (hahah), because it was hitting me right in the feels.

3) IT’S SO FLUFFY!

I'll be honest, I rarely write strictly fluff-fics, so this was difficult. If we're talking ‘long-fic’, with the most fluff rot-your-teeth scenes, I'd probably say All These Years or Forgotten. One-shots/drabbles might be Names or this prompt from Joanna's bday a few years ago!

And small the headcanon question is below the cut because I have no self control and wrote you a novel.

Headcanons that I like (or make frequent appearances in my fics):

- One that is pretty much canon at this point (and is repeated in almost every fic I can squeeze it into), is that Obi is a cagey mofo who does not trust or like having people tend to him. Like, he won't tell anyone that he's hurt. Ever. The only time he admits to being injured is if someone notices. And I think that it takes Shirayuki a long time and a lot of bribing to get him to confide in her and for her to be able to properly treat him. I fully believe that at least some of their time in Lilias has been spent with Shirayuki chasing after him, offering to buy him dinner or a drink, if he'll just sit still long enough for her to examine whatever injury he's managed to get while he was training (eventually it gets to the point where he's comfortable enough going to her with injuries. But also, he may have started associating having her patch him up, with having a belly-full afterwards lol. Obi's brain: Get healed. Get snacks. More time with Shirayuki. It's wins across the board.). And as much as I know Obi trusts Ryuu and thinks him a good pharmacist, I don't think even Ryuu is able to treat his injuries like Shirayuki can (if Shirayuki isn't around, and it's not that bad, he won't go seek help. The most he'll do is like, slap a bandage on it and call it a day). Which means I am also convinced that the reason he didn't pull away in this scene:

was because 1) they weren't even meant to find out he was hurt, 2) he had an audience (Zen would have been even angrier with him, if he'd pulled away and refused treatment) and 3) this was more for Shirayuki than it was for him.

He's not that hurt. He'd have just left it to scab over and do its own thing, if he was the only one who knew about it. But he lets her do it anyways, because it makes her feel better that he has a bandage.

- Another one that's basically my canon lol... Aside from maybe Garrack or Lata, Shirayuki is the most colourful and casual curser. She doesn't usually curse loudly (like Garrack does) or mumble curses at or about people (like Lata), but she does curse, almost constantly, under her breath. Spills an ink-well? It's just five minutes of her muttering 'fuck' and 'shit' as she tries to clean up the spill. She sees/reads something strange and unusual and it's a 'what the fuck' so quiet that no one else really registers what she's said. And I will forever believe that the moment, right before she jumps off that tower and into the water for Popo's bell, she just sorta shrugged to herself and went 'fuck it, let's do this I guess'.

- I also think that Shirayuki is the kind of person who has two anger settings: 1) Tread carefully or I will throat punch you with no hesitation and zero remorse, and 2) we got into an argument about paint colours and you said ‘I don’t care’, which is a bold-faced lie because clearly you do care, so I took every single paint chip from the store and now they’re tacked up on our wall until you make a decision.

- A HC I really like, but haven't really called much attention to or explored, is the one where Obi is colourblind and that's why he's so hum-drum about her hair. Because her hair isn't anything (for him at least) to bat an eye over. Like, he knows it's red, because people keep telling him that. But that, in no way, defines who she is to him.

- Recently I’ve been vibing with the HC that Obi wouldn’t kiss Shirayuki (especially a first kiss) when they’ve been drinking or are intoxicated. He wants to. And he definitely thinks about it. A lot. It may even come close. But he doesn’t want to feel like he’s taking advantage of her, or have it be something she regrets come morning. If there’s going to be a drunk anything that happens between them, Shirayuki is the one who starts it and any chance he gets, Obi just keeps asking her if that’s what she really wants and if she’s sure.

- Obi didn’t win Shirayuki’s hair-bauble from that fight. I don’t know whether it was one of his few possessions from before (maybe it used to belong to someone important to him) or if he purchased it beforehand JUST for her, but a I don’t buy it for one second that he was fighting some thug and the winnings just HAPPENED to include a hair bauble. He 100% used the fight as an excuse to give it to her.

- While I do really like and appreciate the idea that Ryuu doesn’t think of Obi and Shirayuki as his parentals, I refuse to accept it lol. In any fic, when I have the opportunity to have Ryuu call either Shirayuki ‘mom’ or Obi ‘dad’, I take it. They are his parents and I will die on this hill. 

- Also, while we’re on the subject of Ryuu... there is a small part of me that likes the idea that Ryuu is Kain’s bastard son. I realize it’s probably a bit of a stretch, but I so don’t care haha. So, for your consideration: we don’t know much about Kain other than he died ‘tragically’ when Izana and Zen were still fairly young. After his death, Haruto took over for a while, but then she peaced out to the north because she was suddenly ‘allergic’ to the palace. Now. We all know and love the Crazed King Kain theory (basically canon lol). I like to think that Crazed King Kain knocked up one of the staff members and, in 9 months when this servant girl comes forward with a wholeass baby, saying that it’s his, Kain is actually thrilled, because yayyy! Another son! He wishes to go about actually having the boy legally recognized as his son and Haruto loses her shit (probably not the first time she’s caught Kain burying his dick somewhere it shouldn’t be, but definitely the first time his infidelity has sired an illegitimate - soon to be legitimate - heir that would feel no obligation or fealty towards her). So, Kain’s accident is no accident (hard to legitimize a bastard, if the king is dead and parliament is - for the most part - unaware of said bastard lol). The servant girl is dealt with. And Haruto basically gives the baby to Haruka to ‘figure it out’. Haruka opts for keeping Ryuu close (easier to control and monitor the child, when living near/in the palace - just in case genetics decided to make a mini-Kain). Haruka low-key freaks out the day that Ryuu starts asking around about what happened to his parents and tells Garrack that she needs to stop him from questioning or it’s the last question he’ll ever ask; Garrack just sits Ryuu down and tells him that his parents died, shortly after he was born (not a lie). And that’s the end of that. Eventually, when Haruto’s guilt catches up with her and she can’t stand to see Ryuu around the palace, she packs up and leaves, claiming allergies. The older Ryuu gets, the less like Kain he looks and the more freedom he’s given. ANYWAYSSSSS. It’s a bit like grasping at straws. But I like it.

- And we’ll end with a FOTC specific thinky-thought (I guess it’s sort of an easter-egg now?) that’s somehow both vague and spoilery? I actually hummed and hawed about including this in here, because we haven’t even seen this character yet, but aside from a few disconnected lines here and there, I don’t actually make reference to this scene (it really is just a nice little thought that lives in my brain rent free). So! That said, since FOTC is technically a canon-divergence fic, this canon scene with the roka harvesting would have happened. It is my delightful little thinky-thought that there is a specific FOTC character he’s mistaken Shirayuki for in this scene. Kudos to you guys if you remember this and figure out who it is.

And, there you have it. Some headcanons and thinky-thoughts I enjoy. I could keep going, I’m sure. But those are some of my main ones that, at this point, are basically canon for me ahaha

[igotyouniverse]

Breathe Me - Chapter 1 [nct vamp au]

Description: After dropping out of college and coming home for the first time in two years, 22-year-old Ava Lee gets caught up in a mystery surrounding the people she thought she knew for so long. Between friendship, affairs and true love the young women finds herself being pulled into a  nightmare she would never wake up from.

Pairing: Oc x Taeyong , Oc x Johnny [several side-pairing involving Mark, Ten, Lucas and Jaehyun.]

Included Members: Taeyong, Johnny, Mark, Lucas, Ten, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Haechan (maybe more)

Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst, Action, Fantasy

Warnings: none (this chapter)

suggestive content, strong language, violence, blood, death. probably more, not sure yet (later chapters)

a/n: Here it comes! After years of procrestination I finally managed to write the very first (very boring) chapter of my vampire au with nct! Anyway, the main drama will start in the next chapter so stay patient and bear this one with me. It took me long enough, haha. All the warnings will be for later chapters so don't start reading if u dont feel like reading stuff like that qq If someone wants to get tagged please send me a message, ask, comment or whatever qq

I really hope you guys enjoy it, it was a very heavy birth. ♥

ch.2 || ch. 3

                                                   †

The girl sighed deeply and took a look outside the small airplane window. She saw how the plane slowly drove into the prepared parking lot and felt how her level of anxiety rose with each second. Even though the flight was 18 hours long and her legs started to hurt she didn't want to stand up. Standing up meant for her to actually leave the plane, get her luggage and meet her family which would sooner or later lead to them asking all these questions. It wasn't like she didn't miss them.

She missed them very dearly. She missed the Sunday morning brunches with her neighbours, the movie nights where her dad would always pick out a movie because he'd pout if not, she even missed  her little brother Mark bursting into her room without knocking and asking her some totally stupid questions. She missed catching up with her best friend. She missed all these sleepovers when all they had to worry about was who the cutest boy at school was and what they'll do together once they were adults. She craved for all these past memories. The last time she set foot onto this ground was two years ago at her very first spring break after leaving home, moving to a town thousand of miles away, not knowing anyone.

She heard a beeping noise which indicated that the passengers could stand up and get out but she waited. All of them seemed in such a hurry to leave the plane, grabbing their belongings, everyone trying to get out first which ended in a crowded queue inside of the plane. She stretched her legs as much as possible, not making the slightest move to stand up.

Her eyes wandered back to the window, allowing her to take a glance at the sky, she wished to be into again. It was still quite bright outside, even though it was nearly evening, the sun nearly blinding her when she looked up, leading her to cover her eyes with her hand. The sunsets were so different in the States than here, in South Korea. Her eyes tried to focus on the slowly fading sun, leaving the sky in beautiful pinks and oranges with just a hint of soft white clouds.

Her mind started to spin, thinking about all the things she had to explain to her family sooner or later. But for now she needed to stay positive and hide the fact that she – the oh-so-perfect – student managed to drop out of a university, her parents nearly went insolvent to pay for to allow their daughter to get the best medical education they could think of. At the beginning the girl actually thought that it was her biggest dream to become a famous surgeon but after a short while she had to face the ugly truth that the job she so desperately wanted to do as long as she could remember just wasn't her thing.

She tried so badly to keep on and thought that it's just a phase every young adult went through when they started university but every time she talked to her friends at university she saw that that wasn't exactly the case. Everyone was so focused and motivated to become a successful doctor or surgeon they underwent the torture of endless sleepless nights, insane pressure and the feeling of not being able to even cut an onion correctly, which the professor didn't even care to make better. Every day she got told that she would never be able to work in the medical field and could try herself with some more basic and easy studies. It didn't matter how hard she tried to remember all the lectures and do her assignments – she failed miserably at everything.

Of course, her family didn't know. She was way too afraid to burst the bubble her parents created around her, leaving her in that perfect, white spotlight, portraying her like some sort of angel on a pedestal for everyone to see. They loved to talk about her in front of everyone, telling them that she'd be a successful surgeon, working hard and publishing groundbreaking articles, making herself a name in the medical community. Maybe even getting some famous award. Everyone in that small town knew about the smart daughter who got into one of the best medical universities in the United States, who worked so hard she was barely home.

She couldn't bear to see the disappointment on their faces once they see what she really was – a failure. She managed to hide her dropping out of university so well, she created her web of lies carefully over the last year, she sometimes even believed what she was saying. But as soon as her alarm clock went off, remembering her to go to work at a small corner café to pay her rent and even save some money in case her parents might throw her out, she had to face real life again. The life in which she dropped out only one year after starting, loosing hundreds of thousands of dollars and leaving the incident in her resume forever.

She was glad she got a job in the café as it belonged to the parents of one friend she met at college, who managed to get in because of a scholarship. They allowed her to work as much as she could to save money and even helped her sometimes.

“Excuse me, Miss?”, a soft and gentle voice made the girl leave her deep thoughts and look up. A beautiful, young flight attendant smiled down at her. “You need to leave the plane, please.”, she said in sweet yet demanding voice  and got her luggage out of the cabinet above for her. The girl didn't realise that the plane was already as good as empty. She thanked the attendant, grabbed her bag and went out of the plane into the airport, feeling her legs shaking more with each step she took.

She pulled out her smartphone, turning off flight mode only to get bombarded with dozens of messages, mostly from her mom asking if she already landed and that they waited for her at the gate. After that she only texted emojis. Hearts, heart-eyes and some other stuff which made her feel even more anxious. How could she disappoint a mother as proud as her? No, she needed to keep her secret for a bit longer. Maybe until her brother messed up. But what could he possibly mess up which would overshadow her dropping out of college? Maybe if he committed a crime.

Mark was different from her, She didn't know how but he actually managed to tell their parents that he doesn't want to become a doctor or lawyer, and instead insisted of becoming an author or journalist. To say her parents were unhappy would be an understatement. They were more than angry and told him to pay the tuition himself. They believed it was just a small teenage dream he had but when he finished High School and started working at the local bookstore to save some money to actually study creative writing they realized that he was serious. That small incident happened just 14 months ago, yet he continued to work there and save up. He even managed to visit her every couple of months, as she didn't want to come.

When she arrived at the luggage claim the suitcases were already out on the baggage belt and she waited as long as she could, watching her lonely suitcase making its turns on the device, purposely ignoring it until it was the only one left and she had to grab it. Her phone vibrated in her pocket again.

Mark [06.07pm]: Where r u?

She rolled her eyes and just put it back in the pocket of her jeans as she headed towards the exit. The girl took a deep breath, putting on the brightest smile she could manage and stepped out of the doors. Her family wasn't hard to notice. Her parents held a way too big and bright  banner in their hands

WELCOME HOME AVA

Ava tried to keep her smile up and waved at them. “Oh, honey welcome home!”, her mother shouted as she lowered the banner to hug her daughter tightly. “I'm so happy you're finally home again, our doctor!.”, she said and patted her back softly. She felt her dad joining the hug and giving her a warm smile as well, joining her mother in telling her how happy he was to have her back home. Ava clenched her jaw, trying to smile as honest as possible.

“You're really squishing me to death guys.”, Ava chuckled and was glad when her parents finally let go of her. She looked up and saw her brother Mark smiling at her.

“Come on, give your favourite sister a hug.”, the girl laughed, making her brother chuckle before embracing her in a loving hug as well. The last time she saw him he visited the campus a few months ago. Of course he didn't know she dropped out then and nearly choked on his water when she told him. She knew he wouldn't tell their parents but he thought it would be better if she told their parents as soon as possible, which she didn't of course.

“Happy to have you back.”, Mark said and squeezed his sister one more time before he let her go and took her suitcase.

Ava stretched her body slowly before getting into their car, really not wanting to sit down for another hour but apparently she had to. As soon as she sat down and put on her seat belt her mother turned around to look at her and smiled.

“Tell us, honey, how is Stanford? Is it going well, yes?”, she asked and Ava felt like she needed to throw up.

“Yeah, everything is fine. I handed in all assignments last week and I have a good feeling.”, she chuckled and felt guilt crawling all over her body. She smiled slightly and turned her eyes away to avoid her mother proud gaze, yet she could feel Mark eyeing her.

“Ah, that's so great, honey. Your father and I just talked to the Lee's from across the street and they told us their son wants to apply to Stanford, too. We told them you could talk to him and give some advice.”

“Sure.”, she just sighed and pulled out her phone again, hoping her mother would understand her silent plead to leave her be. Her mother smiled again and turned back to talk to her father about what she'd make for dinner on this special occasion.

Ava checked the other texts she got, scrolling through them. She smiled when she saw a text from her best friend, sending her a picture from her in her nurse uniform. She looked so cute, proudly standing in front of the mirror in the dressing room, posing with a finger heart.

[Ava 06.54pm] Cute! Just landed, on my way home. Wanna hang out later?

[Yunmi 06.57pm] Can't. Night shift today but pick me up tomorrow morning and get breakfast? The café next to the bookstore finally opened!

[Ava 07.00pm] absolutely! Can't wait. Miss you so much ♥

She scrolled through the remaining texts just to feel a little disappointment in her body after not seeing what she so desperately wanted to see. But then again, she didn't expect to see a text from him after he ignored each and everyone of hers the last two years. He didn't even care enough to wish her a happy birthday in November so he probably couldn't care less texting her when she came home.

She sighed lightly and looked outside the car window, seeing how the landscape came and go in front of her eyes and how the sky got all these beautiful colours in it, she could even see the moon already. A wave of tiredness crashed over her exhausted body as she decided to close her eyes for just  a moment.

The girl felt someone poking her arm multiple times, calling her name.

“Wake up, we're home.”, she heard Mark say and groaned, before rubbing her eyes.

“Yes, I'm awake, you can stop poking me.”, she said when her brother continued to poke her arm with a grin on his face.

“Don't make me hit you.”, she warned and slapped his hand away.

“Pff, please.” he answered mockingly and jumped out of the car before her fist could reached his body.

Ava chuckled , getting out of the car stretching her stiff body slowly, hearing all her joints crack at once.

“How old are you? 80?” Mark said teasingly, getting out her suitcase from the trunk.

“Trust me, I feel like it.”, she yawned loudly and slowly got up the stairs to their house.

She inhaled the sweet and calming scent of her mothers vanilla candles as soon as she set foot into the house, taking of her shoes before she walked further inside. It hasn't changed a bit. The beige coloured walls still had pictures of the family on them. Ava smiled and looked at the picture of her and her family from her Highschool graduation three years ago. She smiled when she saw the exact picture her parents had chosen. Mark and her making some weird pose while her parents rolled their eyes.

“Honey, dinner will be ready in half-an-hour, okay?” she didn't realize that her mother was standing right next to her and flinched a bit.

“Yeah, sure, thank you, mom. I'll start to unpack then. Love you.”, Ava said, kissing her mothers cheek softly before going up the stairs into her old room where Mark already put her suitcase and bag.

Her room hasn't changed either. Of course, it looked a bit colder as she took all her personal stuff with her to the US when she moved out, but it still felt comfy with it's cozy beige sofa and her queen sized bed, which her mother already prepared for her. She closed the door behind her and looked outside the big windows, which connected to a small balcony, which was only hers. She remembered how mad Mark was when she got the room with the balcony and not him and grinned. She stepped outside for a moment to breathe in the still warm air, listening to the rustling sound of the trees as a mild breeze blew through them.

The small wooden bench she made herself with her dad back when she was younger still stood in the very same corner and even had pillows on it and a blanket, indicating that someone still used it even while she was gone. Probably her mother when she wanted to have some time and space for herself, she thought and smiled before going back into her room.

She stretched her stiff body once again before squatting down and opening her black suitcase to unpack her things. Ava only brought some clothes and other necessities with her as she didn't believe of staying home for a longer period of time. She rented her tiny apartment, or as she preferred to call it, her shoebox to a friend from university who looked for her own place as long as she stayed with her parents so she didn't need to worry about paying rent. So she just packed her essentials and hoped to keep her pretty little lie for some more months to figure out what she actually wanted to do with her situation now. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to stay in Stanford . She just knew, she didn't want to stay here in this tiny town where everyone knows everyone.

She loved the size of New York, she loved the vibes, the people and even the stink it had. It was charming in some kind of way and she enjoyed the anonymity she had. She liked living in the famous city which never sleeps but it didn't feel like a complete home to her yet and maybe never would. Not to mention, that she was just working in a café which was barely enough to live so she needed to get something more permanent very soon. But she had no idea what that could be. Maybe she'd apply to another university, maybe she didn't want to go to college at all. But what were her options anyway?

Ava groaned, throwing a stack of clothes into her closet in frustration, before squatting down again to fold them neatly. She felt her phone vibrating in the pocket of her jeans and sighed when she saw the name of the person who messaged her blinking in front of her. She opened it and thought about her answer for several minutes before she decided to ignore it for the moment and maybe get back to it later, unsure about her wanting to meet the sender or not.

She furrowed her eyes as she looked at the clock hanging at one of her walls, showing that it was way later than she expected and her mother still hadn't called for dinner yet. She put the last of her belongings in the connected bathroom she shared with her brother and checked her phone to make sure she didn't receive a text from him telling her dinner is ready. Ava didn't realize how hungry she was until she thought about the dishes her mother was probably busy making and her mouth started to water. She really missed good Korean food. There were quite some Korean restaurants in New York but of course nothing tasted as good as her mother's home cooked meals.

Just as she wanted to open her door and check downstairs she heard her mother shout from the kitchen that dinner was finally ready. She opened her door and could already smell the kimchi and meat her mother apparently made and couldn't wait to finally taste it.

“Coming! I'm getting Mark”, Ava shouted back and wanted to knock on Marks door, telling him to come down but the boy who opened the door wasn't her brother.

“Oh, hey Ava. Haven't seen you in forever. How are you?”, Johnny asked, seemingly surprised but a small smile appeared on his pretty face.

He hasn't changed a tiny bit. He still looked as gorgeous as three years ago when she left and never heard of him again. His hair was still black but a tad longer than before. It framed the contours of his face just perfectly which made it hard for her to look away and think about how she was mad at him for ignoring her for the past years, even though the last thing she remembered with him was actually something very nice. Or that's at least what she thought it was. Apparently he thought differently and had to treat her like air. Not even daring to step a foot in their house when she came home for spring break once.

“Umm, fine. Are you staying for dinner?”, she asked, trying to sound as calm as possible but she couldn't hide a tint of anger in her voice, yet the anger mixed up with other feelings she was way too bad at hiding.

“Yeah, I invited him. He basically lives here anyway.”, she heard Mark say behind Johnny who didn't seem to sense her displeasure over his invitation. Why do they have to be best friends? She asked herself and secretly hoped for Johnny to disappear or something. But of course that wouldnÄt happen.

“Please, the food gets cold, come down.”, she heard her mother saying from the foot of the stairs with her hands stemmed in her hips, still wearing her red-dotted apron.

“Actually, I'm not hungry.”, Ava said taking a step away from Johnny as his simple presence made her legs feel stupidly weak.

Her statement got quite unbelievable when her stomach started to growl from the heavenly scent of her mother's food.

“Doesn't sound like it.”, Mark said and raised his brow looking at his sister questionably.

“I'm really not hungry and I'm meeting a friend. Can we postpone our family dinner to another time?”, she said while purposely emphasising the term family to show her displeasure about the clearly unwanted guest guest.

Before her mother could answer something Ava ran down the stairs, giving her mother another short kiss before running outside, leaving her house behind.

She took a deep breath before letting out some vulgar curses towards the situation and especially the person causing her to still feel all these things.

Ava pulled out her phone and messaged the only person she could think of, who might get her thoughts somewhere else, even if she might regret it in the morning.

masterlist

[anindeguzman]

The Writer Tag! (1/2)

Hello! As a way to introduce myself, I am here to answer some questions that tell a bit about me as a writer.

I found the tag questions here: https://inkblotsandicebergs.wordpress.com/2015/04/26/the-writer-tag-20-questions/

So, if you're interested in answering it too, feel free to do it with me. Now, let us start, shall we?

What type of writing do you do? I write creative fiction. Sometimes, I blog and journal. That sort of stuff.

What genres and/or topics do you write about? Mainly, I explore young adult contemporary with a dash of romance. I like to say a dash because I went into a denial phase regarding love stories and I like to think that I can write plots without romance (but I can't). Other than that, I write blog posts about writing and express my emotional turmoil caused by growing pains.

How long have you been writing? I've been writing since I was 11 years old, which is probably not that long (I'm 18, btw). I've always had a lively imagination, I like picturing scenarios before falling asleep. I discovered that I can create my own stories back in the golden age of One Direction fanfictions prevailing in the Wattpad sphere. I would read a ton of them and that emboldened my ability to imagine and eventually, I took the plunge and wrote in a tiny notebook a fanfiction about whatever fandom I was in at the time. Soon, I stepped out of fanfiction and began writing original stories that never got fleshed out.

Are you published? Not yet. Soon!

What was the first story you ever wrote? As in the first-ever story, I went ahead and wrote, or the first serious story that I ever considered a novel? I would choose to tell you about the latter because you probably guessed that I started out as a fanfic writer. So, I wrote my first story ever during the beginning stages of the pandemic in 2020. I took a long hiatus from writing anything for myself because the school year prior drained me. I was determined to complete a novel, as sort of like a challenge for me. Using the emotional baggage that I brought with me into the pandemic after Grade 10 graduation, I poured everything I had in me to write a story called The Letter Of Us. It was hard at first but I was able to finish it -the first draft, that is. I don't bother rereading it for now because...you know why.

Why do you write? This is the kind of question that I wish I have all the time in the world to answer, because I don't think I'll ever get tired of talking about writing and why I do it. I write because it fills a missing piece inside of me. Writing can transform an uneventful day into a productive and fulfilling day for me. Writing makes the most overwhelming and scariest events in my life bearable. That's the best way I can summarize my answer.

How do you find time to write? This question hurts me for some reason HAHA. I write when there's enough time to squeeze it in. Especially during my heaviest workload from school, I would write to relax a bit. I treat writing as a break from real life so whenever I have free time, I write.

When and where are the best times to write? The best time to write for me depends on my mood, honestly. I still haven't gotten over the habit of spending the whole day writing which is something I'm trying to control. I really love writing late at night, especially when I'm so excited about the chapter I'm going to write. I'll literally sacrifice sleep to get it right. I use the morning for editing and revising because it's when my headspace is the clearest and most well-rested.

Favorite food/drinks while writing? I don't really snack on anything while I'm writing because I hate the feeling of typing with greasy, crumby, and messy fingers. But drink a lot of water, though.

Your writing playlist? I used to rely heavily on playlists for my first few stories. The song has to have that specific vibe that fits perfectly well with the scene I'm writing. But sometimes rather than me getting immersed in the emotion, I just get tired of the song because I play it on repeat. However, some songs are an exception. I do make playlists. When I'm revising, however, I tend to not play music because I find it hard to focus. I really get carried away with singing along and ultimately, waste precious time.

Feel free to ask me questions! I would love to meet you all!

[iammultifandomaf]

Chapter 2 - Lydia’s encounter

BROTHERHOOD

Lydia woke up earlier than Stiles, so she decided to make coffee for them before she headed to work. Lydia worked in a small coffee shop named Smelly Cat. It was just a few blocks away from the apartment, therefore she could've slept until eight a.m. Even though, she wasn't earning big money, she grew to like the warm atmosphere of that place and felt just fine with working there. In her spare time, Lydia was teaching mathemathics to children because she felt a little guilty that Stiles worked harder for their comfortable way of life.

Lydia carried Stiles his favorite cup to bed where he had been still asleep, covered in blankets. She sat at the edge of the bed and laid her palm onto his shoulder. His eyes immediately shot up open as if they awaited some kind of danger. Stiles' gaze softened when he noticed Lydia by his side. He could have recognized the slight confusion in Lydia's gaze which followed with a simple question: "What's wrong?"

Stiles sat up and noticed his cup in her fingers, beginning to salivate over the hot coffee she held. Lydia handed him the cup, her questioning eyes never leaving his, though. He had a sip and swallowed the warm liquid down the throat.

"Nothing's wrong. Why?"

"Your eyes are swollen up. Like from crying," she said with a worried voice, touching his red-ish skin under the right eye. Stiles squeezed her hand and said with a chuckle: I must have sleep-cried when my body felt you had left the bed."

"Haha, funny."

...

Later that day in work, Lydia had a short break with her colleague and also her best friend, Allison. They sat down behind the coffee shop and Allison withdrew her package of cigarettes from her pocket. She handed one to Lydia who accepted it with a smile.

"So," Allison began, letting a cloud of smoke out of her mouth, "how's your fairytail relationship going?"

"It's alright. Well, you know Stiles... A sweetheart, really, but still protective about his past. I almost feel like I'm in a cheesy fantasy novel for teenagers. But yeah, I suppose it's nothing serious."

"You may have an own Edward at home and you just let it go?"

"I didn't say I let it go... I'm just giving him time."

"Lyds," Allison said, looking straight into her friend's eyes, "it's been two years."

"Shut up, Al. Look, we are planning a trip to Italy. A nice hotel in Ega Eggen. And I think that I'll find out something there..."

"Oh, really? How nice," Allison said mockingly with a sarcastic smile.

"Shut up, would you?"

"Whatever, hon." Allison rolled her eyes at the redhead but kept a smile on her face.

"What about you?" Lydia asked, changing the topic.

"Eh, not much. It's like guys don't notice me at all. I was thinking to try the gay thing or something."

"You can't just 'try to be gay', Allison."

"What do you know? I might have been gay all time along."

"Yeah, sure," Lydia scoffed and threw the cigarette on the ground, stepping on it with her shoe. "I'm going inside, what about you?"

"Yeah, me, too. Gimme a sec."

They went inside and began working again. It was a quiet day and there haven't been many customers, which meant ending earlier for Lydia.

"Hey, Lyds. Do that guy sitting at number four and then head home. I'll close up," Allison said, nodding to table four.

"Are you sure?" Lydia asked, feeling bad leaving her friend with all the work behind.

"Yeah, don't worry." She send a reassuring smile to the redhead and walked away to another customer. Lydia shrugged and approached the man who was reading a book whilst drinking his espresso. Her eyes fell on the red cover of the book. She couldn't read the title, though. The man must have noticed her standing by him for oddly too long because he lovered the red book and looked up at her with his dark eyes. A smile appeared on his lips when he saw Lydia's embarrassed gaze, realizing that she had been staring.

"I'm sorry," she laughed awkwardly, "I was just wondering what book you have here... Might have stared a bit, though."

"Oh, that's alright," he chuckled and ran his hand down his growing beard, "it is a novel by Henri Barbusse. Under fire. Must say that it isn't exactly a nice story to read but I find it rather interesting."

"Haven't heard of that, should I give it a try?" Lydia asked politely, her eyes scanning the table for any dirty dishes to bus.

"Well, you're pretty young, you better enjoy joyful literature," he said kindly, finishing his coffee," the coffee was quite exquisite. I'll be sure returning to this cozy place."

Lydia grinned at him politely and took away his empty cup. "We are looking forward to your next visit, sir."

Lydia returned to the bar where Allison was peeking at table four behind the coffee machine. She stopped the redhead and nodded to the man: "He's a candy for the eye, don't you think?"

"I guess, but I prefer clean shaven," Lydia said, remembering her boyfriend's face, covered in little cute moles. That was actually the first thing she noticed at him. The moles. But don't mistake it for a romantic fairytail. Lydia had met Stiles in a dancing club which was filled with people that night. Lydia had already a few drinks and she felt her barriers had fallen down. Her friends dragged her out on the dancing floor, although Lydia would had rather stayed at the bar for a few more drinks. But that didn't matter much, she danced anyways. Suddenly, somebody bumped into her and Lydia, not having quite a clear head, she grabbed the one's arm and began dancing with that person. That person ended up being Stiles and she had made out with him several times during that night.

Lydia shrugged at the memory and went to grab her coat to finally leave. She said a quick bye to her colleague and chose the back exit. It was already dark outside, even though it was just around five p.m. The redhead withdrew her phone from her small brown purse and began writing a short text to Stiles. Her attention was directed mainly to the small screen in her palm, therefore it was quite a surprise when she hit something in front of her. Lydia swiftly looked up from her phone to let her eyes meet with the gentlemans dark irises.

"Well, hello, again," he said with a soothing grin.

...

Stolos had been forcefully dragged out of his home, leaving the dead body of his father on the floor. The Romans weren't too kind to the children they gathered in the village, and Stolos found himself in a wooden cage within several minutes. He wasn't alone in the cage. There were two other boys who seemed undoubtedly suffering as Stolos did.

Both boys Stolos knew, but they didn't speak to each other anyways. They were in shock. Disbelief and maybe even denial. Not Stolos, though. The hatred against those men just grew inside Stolos and he knew that he will avenge his father one day. He would make them all go through agony and pain.

And that crucial decision influenced Stolos' whole life, but at that time, the young boy had no idea what his rage will do one day. So, he sat silently with the other children, watching the nature passing along while they traveled to the big city of Rome where they were supposed to be re-educated. They were to be Roman soldiers.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12211562/2/