#which is attached to my pinned!!!!!!! :D

[omegamoo]

ok i'm dying of curiosity what is the whittled pantheon? :D

AUGH. okay so the whittled pantheon is a group writing/art project between me, tgm, twig, and a handful of our other irls :) it started because we were all playing on a minecraft server together and wanted to make lore, and basically just gained energy from there. we all made our own god characters, and we’ve been working on their respective arcs and stories ever since. i’ve been rotating them in my brain for so fucking long… anyways, if you wanna learn more you can look through the whittled pantheon tag on our blogs or ask me specific questions in my inbox ^_^

[highvern]

YUCK

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader

Genre: fluff, suggestive moments

warnings: mentions of illness/body fluids (snot, vomit), avoidant attachment from reader, Hoshi best boy

Length: ~2.9k

Note: more of this couples bc im crazy thank u @gyuswhore

series m.list: Houdini [s], Green Light [s, f], Talk [a, s, f], Casual [a, s, f], Mine [s], espresso [f, s]

m.list

This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.

Two and a half months of hooking up with a guy who may or may not be a furry and things start feeling…comfortable. 

You’ll pretend until the day you die that every time the weekend rolls around you won’t end up naked in Soonyoung’s bed. Or your own. Usually it is your own because he has more roommates than you and yours leaves to stay at her boyfriend’s until Monday night which means there is no need to keep quiet (which you and Soonyoung both struggle with but you refuse to acknowledge that fact). 

It allows for many nights bent over the kitchen counter, Soonyoung’s chest hot against the back of your thighs as he works you up with his mouth. Or occasional nights on the couch after you both are too into each other to make it upstairs to your room, planted firmly in his lap while pinning his hands to the cushions. There's also the nights he drags you straight to bed and demonstrates exactly what all the pictures you took while tucked away in the privacy of a gross bar bathroom did to him. 

You’re pretty sure Soonyoung has picked up on your game by now because instead of asking ‘if’ he’s taken to asking ‘when’ he can come over. And it's annoying that it doesn’t really annoy you at all.

Soonyoung comes over on Friday nights and leaves Saturday afternoon, except when he shows up on Saturday mornings and stays well into Sunday night. Or the occasional weekend where you remember who you are and show up on his door and leave three hours later with cum still drying on your thigh as you walk past his roommates still pregaming in the living room.

Except now it's Friday and you’ve got nothing on your mind except for the inside of a toilet bowl and the cool tile of the bathroom floor.

Call it food poisoning or maybe the flu, but you’ve been in and out of sleep since the early hours of dawn. Shivering on the floor, the only company you have is a pile of dirty clothes. Even the crack of light under the door is too much stimulation for your illness-racked brain to tolerate.

“Y/N?” your roommate calls from the other side of the darkness, out in the hallway where it's safe from whatever curse is making home in your gut. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home? I don’t mind.”

“I’m fine,” you groan. Your words couldn’t convince the deaf but you try anyway. 

She responds but it slips right past because another bout of nausea takes hold.

You manage to fall asleep at some point, clammy on the floor with aching hips. Maybe an hour or maybe ten minutes. It doesn't really make a difference because you still feel like shit when the door opens and the hall light burns through your retinas.

“Hazel, I said I’m— What are you doing here?” you croak from the floor. 

Soonyoung stairs down at you, face soft with something that might be worry but it’s probably just the fever melting your brain. “You look like shit.” 

“You always know just what to say.” The usual snark isn’t there, replaced by a pathetic helpless whine of discomfort because all you want is to curl up and die. “Did you come to insult me or…?”

“Hazel let me know you were sick and usually sick people need medicine and soup so I brought that and this tea my mom used to give me as a kid.” 

“Are you trying to cure me so you can get your dick wet?” 

“No. If I wanted to stick my dick in a Petri dish I feel like there are easier ways to go about it.” He kneels right next to you like he isn’t the slightest bit concerned about catching the plague brewing in your immune system. A cool hand cups your cheek, thumb gentle at your temple where a dull throb has haunted you all day. You lean into the comforting touch without much thought.  “When was the last time you showered?” 

“I don’t know. Like two days ago?” 

“Yeah, I can smell that. Alright my little germ cell, let’s get you cleaned up.” 

His arms snake under yours, dragging you from the floor even with your muscles limp. It takes more maneuvering but you don’t bother helping. If he wants to play not-so-sexy nurse and patient then that's his problem. The warmth of his sweater is welcome though. 

“Is this some weird fetish thing?” Nose buried in Soonyoung’s chest, it comes out in a jumble. “Because I can’t handle this and the furry stuff.” 

“Yes, caring about your health is a fetish for me. Really gets me off knowing you’ve been a good girl and taken your vitamins.” 

“I knew it.” you whisper. “I’m not calling you daddy if that’s what you want.” 

Soonyoung laughs and the movement sends another bolt of pain through your skull. He tuts over your responding whimper and what may be his lips press to the side of your head briefly. It’s warm and comforting, the beat of his heart lulling you into the first satisfying rest since you woke up. Your hands bunching the front of his shirt are desperate for anything to keep you steady. 

Thankfully, he doesn’t release you while setting things up for a shower; accommodating for your weight with a slow shuffle and more placating coos against your hairline every time you protest a sudden jostle. The chill of the bathroom fully sets in when he pushes down your sweats and shucks off your snot stained sweater before tossing away his own. If you weren’t barely functioning it might even be impressive that he’s kept you in his arms the entire time.

“If you’re trying to fuck me, I hope you don’t mind snot.” You blow your nose against the curve of his neck just to be a bitch. 

You feel more naked under the stream of water than you ever have, which is ironic given you’ve had Soonyoung face to crotch more times than you can count. Something about the non-sexual nature of nudeness, feeling the least sexy you ever have while he scrubs you down with gentle hands, turns your stomach more than before.

“I’m not trying to fuck you,” he laughs again; a thousand volts straight to the heart. “Don’t worry.” 

You pop out of hiding, hurt by the idea. “You don’t want to fuck me?” 

Soonyoung’s face is soft, cheeks round and hair already damp to his forehead. He isn’t disgusted by the puke on your breath or the sweat matting your hair. Or if he is, he hides it well. “I always want to fuck you but right now I’m trying to make sure you don’t die.” 

You dive back into his shoulder, mind numb to anything beyond the silky feel of hands washing away days of ick. You’ve felt his hands on almost every part of your body but right now they lack the characteristic urgency from those moments where you can’t get enough of each other quick enough. He’s touching you the way he does in the glow of the moon after you’ve both been satisfied, when Soonyoung thinks you’re asleep and you let him as every curve and dip and hill of your body is covered in gentle strokes like he’s committing you to memory.

“I can do that on my own,” you argue. 

The facts aren’t stacked in your favor right now but it’s the principle: you don’t need him to take care of you. You can handle it on your own. He’s only here because you let him.

“Oh, I know. Now close your eyes so I don’t get soap in them.”

He cups your face, thumbs rubbing away the sweat that's been caked on since morning. Then it’s a rough washcloth doused in the scent of your face wash but you swat it away in favor of the calluses on his fingers. If you weren’t a dead woman walking he’d never get a chance to be this close. 

How is it more terrifying for someone to wipe away your boogers than let him see you naked multiple times a week? A question knotting your stomach into tight pieces as Soonyoung hums some tune you don’t recognize like he’s more than happy to do so.

Your brain stops working after so long; too exhausted from everything to think more about what this all means. Not even the familiar flat press of his front against yours can incite a response beyond content. All the world shrinks into the pitter patter of the water swirling around the drain, and the parts that are warmed by Soonyoung and the parts that are waiting to be.

When you come back to awareness, the waters off and he is whispering something into your clammy forehead.

“Hmmm?” 

“I said, it’s time to get out.”

More shuffling gets you back into your room where the mattress takes your weight while he digs around for fresh clothes. You roll onto your side, clad in a towel and nothing else, resound to fall asleep then and there.

“Alright, arms up,” he commands. 

You try to pull away, diving back into the pillow soaked from your hair but Soonyoung gets you up at the waist, maneuvering stiff limbs patiently.

“Do you have an armpit fetish too?” you ask with the collar stuck around the top of your head. 

“And you call me a freak?”

Next is pants, and it takes a few tries for you to even consider being helpful. Soonyoung lifts each leg individually, working the fabric as far as he can. Then a few dramatic grunts from coordinating your entire body weight but you’re back in a clean pair of pajamas and tucked under the covers. Soonyoung didn’t rise to any more of your snide remarks about being naked. He simply avoiding your bare skin like it’d burn. Not even his favorite thing about you (boobs) gets any attention, just a few chuckles and more kisses into your temple.

You melt into the plush mattress, hidden beneath a pile of blankets from the cruel world that cursed you with new realizations you're not prepared for just yet. 

Eyes closed the entire time, you hear Soonyoung leave without so much as a goodbye. In theory it’s what you want. Exactly how you prefer; you alone, him somewhere you can pretend all the confounding feelings don’t exist. You didn’t even want him to show up in the first place, but now that he’s been here and you’re horrifically aware how nice it feels to have someone take care of you. You miss him. 

And as soon as the pit opens up, you hear someone shuffling down the hall coming towards your room.

“Alright, once you eat something you can sleep.”

The thought of food tightens your stomach more than the fact he didn’t leave you but he’s right. You need fluids and you’re not strong willed enough to get them yourself.

After the first few bites, you feel a little more human and less like a walking sack of shit. With it, the discomfort of this entire ordeal rears with a new vengeance. 

“Why are you here?” It sounds like an accusation.

He doesn’t even miss a beat. “Because I like you.” 

Soonyoung says it matter of factly, the same way the sky is blue and water is wet, while shoving another bite into your mouth.

You’re too exhausted for a fight right now; not with the only person making a real effort to keep you alive, but the instinct is strong after years of low expectations and plenty of disappointment.

“Why?” 

“Because I just do.” 

Your eyes meet over the spoon. He doesn’t look annoyed or perturbed or even angry. He likes you whether you like it or not. 

“I don’t date.” 

“Okay,” he agrees, wiping at the spill dripping from your chin.

“You aren’t gonna argue?” 

“Nope.” He pops the ‘p’ and your need for confrontation with it. “You don’t wanna date? That’s fine. I’ll take whatever I can get, even if that’s spoon feeding you on your deathbed.” 

You take the next bite before commenting, “You’re so weird.” 

“I like you too. Now open up for the airplane.” He makes the noise and the medicine twists your brain into actually finding it funny. “How are you pretty even when you’re blowing your nose on my shirt?”

“Deal with the devil.”

He passes you a cold cup when you brush away the remainder of the soup. One sip is all it takes.

“How did you know I like the orange Gatorade?”

“I asked Jun to give me June’s number and she gave me Hazel’s number and I asked while I was at the store.”

“You went through all that trouble just to buy me the right Gatorade?” you snort.

“It really wasn’t any trouble.”

It isn’t but it’s more than anyone else has ever done for you. The fresh wave of nausea has nothing to do with your cold.

“I’m tired,” you tell him. 

The mess is cleaned up in silence. You pretend to fall asleep and Soonyoung lets you until he’s shoving more medicine your way. 

You shake your head, failing to refuse because Soonyoung is doing that dumb airplane nose again and when you cough up a laugh he shoves the spoon in your mouth and you’re left with no choice but to swallow.

Then he’s up and you watch through heavy eyes as he gathers his things. You’ll blame it on the drugs loosening the clutch you have on your emotions later.

“Where are you going?” you ask with faux apathy, negated by the fist tangled in the hem of his sweatshirt in case he evaporates away.

“Home. Unless…you want me to stay?” A tug at the sweater is your answer to that horrible thought. “Oh, thank god – I was getting sad.”

You roll over, offering him your back to curl around. The muscles tensed around your spine soften when he does. 

I sleep better when you’re here.

You won’t tell him that but Soonyoung stiffens for a moment and the fear you’ve said the wrong thing creeps in where fatigue hasn’t rooted just yet. But a kiss to your covered shoulder and a hand under your sweater, flat against your stomach so you stay as close as possible calms the thoughts enough you can drift off.

It’s strange. Having the heat of his body at your back without the limpness of a good fuck still coursing through your veins to thaw the parts that hate pillow talk and the stickiness that come with it.

What's even stranger is that you don’t really mind it all. If anything, it’s actually pretty nice.

Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie

@gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire

@missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @sliceofwoozi @writingbarnes

@dokyeomkyeom @christinewithluv @minwonfairy @idkjustlovingbts @wobblewobble822 @futuristicenemychaos

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[babybells123]

Regarding the original outline + some thoughts on Jon & Sansa… 

This is a long one. Buckle up.

If there is one thing I have picked up on in the ASOIAF fandom, it’s the knee-jerk negative reaction towards any theory/parallel/connection between Jon and Sansa. This was exacerbated by the show, of course but even now - five years later, there is an insane amount of vitriol that my brain is unable to comprehend. And here’s the rub; the infamous 1993 outline is the irony of it all. 

In a fandom that is a-okay with *certain* incest ships (r.e D@enerys x Jon, D@emon x Rh@enyra, Jon x Aria), as well as blatantly pedophilic ships (Sansa x S@ndor, Sansa x Littlefinger, Sansa x Tyrio*), how is Jon x Sansa the worst of them all? I’m going to pin it down to audience engagement with the show, particularly around the later seasons when Jon + Sansa reunite and people began to ‘ship’ them. So many believe that is how the ship took off, and thus it is mere crack - but there are posts tracking back to 2012/2013 theorising the possibility of Jon x Sansa. Was it spurred by the show? Certainly! But it does not take away from the fact that people were making valid arguments and essays before the general fandom was even comprehending a Jon and Sansa reunion on screen. And people were open to discussing/debating it with general civility (a far cry from today). 

I’m 90% certain people weren’t criticising those who began to believe in Jon x Aria when the outline was leaked…(though there were most definitely shippers before). But we never see the same level of vitriol towards Jon x Aria shippers, which is strange. 

In any case, let’s talk about said outline, some of the key points - and how I believe GRRM made the switch from Jon x Aria to Jon x Sansa. I’ll be drawing from GRRM’s past works, interviews, art, and his personal life - as well as other potential literary influences. I'll be linking metas along the way, but without further ado - let's go.

In October 1993, GRRM wrote a pitch outline for a publishing company. It was three pages long and conveyed alongside the first thirteen chapters of AGOT (170 pages). The three paged letter was leaked on twitter in February 2014, though there were multiple aspects parts blacked out. Keep in mind though, this may not be the *only* outline that exists. There are multiple outlines that have never been publicly released (and will likely remain that way). 

But let’s just focus on the 1993 outline, since we’re privy to the details. The thirteen chapters attached to the outline did *not* yet have a Sansa POV, and that’s because in this outline, she wasn’t listed as a key character.

The key characters were; Bran, Jon, Tyrion, D@enerys, and Aria.  

The first thirteen chapters were; Prologue; Bran I, Catelyn I, D@enerys I, Eddard I, Jon I, Catelyn II, Aria I, Bran II, Tyrion I, Jon II, D@enerys II, Eddard II, Tyrion II. 

I’ve seen people claim that Sansa isn’t an important character since she wasn’t listed as a key character, but they conveniently leave out the fact that a) her chapters were not yet written, b)she was given an entirely different more passive storyline in this outline, c) she dies, d) this was far far before GRRM fleshed out his characters entirely - Sansa took on a life of her own and she became her own solid complex character with an arc in 4 out of 5 of the books; 25 chapters. 

In fact, since the books have been published GRRM has regarded Sansa and the Starks as a main character as well;

Collider: In creating this world, did you start out with one family and then branch off into the rest of the world?

GRRM: Well, the Starks are certainly the centre of the story, when it begins. It all begins at Winterfell, with occasional cuts to Daenerys across the ocean, because there was no way I could get her into Winterfell. But, we bring all the characters together at Winterfell, and they’re all there for a while before they start to go their separate ways ... .But, the Starks are the centre of the book and, to a lesser extent, the Lannisters. They are still the major players. 

Collider: When you went into this, did you intentionally take the children, put them in an adult setting and force them to be in very adult and complex situations?

GRRM: Yeah, the children were always at the heart of this. The Stark children, in particular, were always very central. Bran is the first viewpoint character that we meet, and then we meet Jon and Sansa and Arya and the rest of them. It was always my intention to do that.” 

Collider report.

May 2016 - Balticon. 

(…) George said he was “pissed” that the outline was posted in the office building and that someone took photos and shared them. He said it was a letter for him and the publisher only. He was very firm when telling this and it showed on his face.

He then said that he is not good with writing outlines, making book deadlines, and that often in outlines he was “making shit up”, and “characters changed along the way”.

He went straight from talking about the references in the actual books, to the “differences” in the outline from then to now. He did say that he still knows who sits the iron throne and the end game of the main 5, but also included Sansa, but did not give any details (for obvious reasons).

[question if he is still going with the 1991 ending]

“Yes, I mean, I did partly joke when I said I don’t know where I was going. I know the broad strokes, and I’ve known the broad strokes since 1991. I know who’s going to be on the Iron Throne. I know who’s gonna win some of the battles, I know the major characters, who’s gonna die and how they’re gonna die, and who’s gonna get married and all that. The major characters. 

….

“So a lot of the minor characters I’m still discovering along the way. But the mains-”

[question if he knows Arya’s and Jon’s fates]

“Tyrion, Arya, Jon, Sansa, you know, all of the Stark kids, and the major Lannisters, yeah.”

Balticon report:

“Ah, how innocent I was… little did that guy in the picture imagine that he would be spending most of the next two decades in the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros with Tyrion, Daenerys, Arya, Sansa, Jon Snow, Bran, and all the rest.”

GRRM's live journal:

So Sansa has clearly developed into an important character from GRRM’s words, and the key-characters argument can cease, because It’s very tiring to dispel that when the characters and story took on a life of its own. (I mean, Jaime was meant to remain a villain, but he was clearly given somewhat of a redemption arc in the main series).

I paraphrased what was written here for this whole section, so go check out the longer post!

The Aria in the original outline: 

*NOTE: I am blacking out her actual names in case the wrong people find this post. None of this anti her, please keep that in mind.*

Five central characters will make it through all three volumes, [...] The five key players are Tyrion Lannister, D@enerys Targaryen, and three of the children of Winterfell, Aria, Bran, and the bastard Jon Snow. 

Joffrey will not be sympathetic and Ned [what appears to say] will be accused of treason, but before he is taken he will help his wife and his daughter Aria escape back to Winterfell.

Tyrion Lannister, meanwhile, will befriend both Sansa and her sister Aria, while growing more and more disenchanted with his own family.

When Winterfell burns, Catelyn Stark will be forced to flee north with her son Bran and her daughter Aria. Wounded by Lannister riders, they will seek refuge at the Wall, but the men of the Night's Watch give up their families when they take the black, and Jon and Benjen will not be able to help, to Jon's anguish. It will lead to a bitter estrangement between Jon and Bran. 

Aria will be more forgiving ... until she realises, with terror, that she has fallen in love with Jon, who is not only her half-brother but a man of the Night's Watch, sworn to celibacy. Their passion will continue to torment Jon and Aria throughout the trilogy, until the secret of Jon's true parentage is finally revealed in the last book.

Abandoned by the Night's Watch, Catelyn and her children will find their only hope of safety lies even further north, beyond the Wall, where they fall into the hands of Mance Rayder, the King-beyond-the-Wall, and get a dreadful glimpse of the inhuman others as they attack the wilding encampment. Bran's magic, Aria's sword Needle, and the savagery of their direwolves will help them survive, but their mother Catelyn will die at the hands of the others.

Exiled, Tyrion will change sides, making common cause with the surviving Starks to bring his brother down, and falling helplessly in love with Aria Stark while he's at it. His passion is, alas, unreciprocated, but no less intense for that, and it will lead to a deadly rivalry between Tyrion and Jon Snow

Observations:

Exactly how old is Aria? Is she a warrior princess who cries at songs like her aunt? Does she enjoy/yearn for romance? Is she a stunningly beautiful maiden rivalling that of Cersei? How close were she and Jon? Did they have a good sibling relationship? Or were they distant? Does she look physically different to Jon? Does she have red hair? 

The Sansa of the Original Outline:

‘Each of the contending families will learn it has a member of dubious loyalty in its midst. Sansa Stark, wed to Joffrey Baratheon, will bear him a son, the heir to the throne, and when the crunch comes she will choose her husband and child over her parents and siblings, a choice she will later bitterly rue.’ 

Tyrion Lannister, meanwhile, will befriend both Sansa and her sister Aria, while growing more and more disenchanted with his own family.

Jaime Lannister will follow Joffrey on the throne of the Seven Kingdoms, by the simple expedient of killing everyone ahead of him in the line of succession and blaming his brother Tyrion for the murders. 

More observations:

How old is Sansa? Is she 16? 17? She’s conveyed as a less important character in this outline - why? Queen of the Seven Kingdoms? She dies? Jaime kills her? What is her relationship with Aria like? Are/were they close? Or was Sansa initially meant to be a two-tone villain who betrayed her family? Is she overwhelmingly beautiful? Or is she the plainer sister? 

It’s quite clear that both ASOIAF Aria and ASOIAF Sansa are entirely different characters to their outlined counterparts. 

In the outline, Tyrion sacks and burns Winterfell. In ASOIAF, It’s Theon and later Ramsay who does this. In the outline, it’s Bran, Aria, and Catelyn who go beyond the Wall. In ASOIAF, it’s Bran, Meera, and Jojen (and Hodor). There are a couple of other changes made here, but there seems a pattern where certain acts *still* occur in the main series, they’re just given to different characters (which makes sense, as GRRM grows organically with his characters.)

So, when we take into account the fact of ASOIAF Sansa being considered a main/key character, her marriage to Tyrion, and the possibility of her being the first to reunite with Jon - perhaps GRRM did keep a Stark x Snow romance - but gave it to a different sister. 

In the 2016 Balticon report, GRRM stated he wished that ‘some past things didn’t have such strong foreshadowing and that newer things had stronger foreshadowing.’ You can make a case for J0nrya foreshadowing in the first book, but I’d argue that ACOK/ASOS is where the Jon/Sansa clues and foreshadowing is rife. (and there are certainly Jon/Sansa clues in the first book as well.) 

Now to circle back. The Aria of this outline doesn’t have a personality - none of the characters do, really. We don’t know how old she is. Is she a teenager? Is she close in age to Jon? We know she has her needle, so can infer she is a fighter and spirited, but is there a soft romantic side to her? Does she cry at songs like her aunt Lyanna? Does she yearn for love? Is she immensely beautiful? For a narrative like this? It'd be likely if Jon and Tyrion are fighting to the death over her, sort of like gallant knights fighting each other to win the heart of a fair maiden (very romantic and idealistic, mirroring the songs and the stories).

(This is how I am certainly inferring such a scene would have gone).

The ASOIAF Aria we know and love took on a life of her own. She’s described as plain looking (some envision her to be more beautiful than characters like D@ny, Cersei, and Sansa though). - But just quickly on that matter, Aria is indeed compared to Lyanna in looks and spirit, though Lyanna’s beauty was described as wild and implied as non-conventional; different perspectives have different opinions on her. For example, Cersei, Jaime, Devan, the Maester who wrote the WOIAF don’t consider her anything special. Whereas Ned, Robert, and Rhaegar do. So it’s one of those instances where you aren’t exactly sure. In any case, Aria's looks aren't a driving factor in her arc, and I don’t see ASOIAF Tyrion (as creepy as he is) suddenly falling in love with her due to mere attraction because presently, Aria is all knobbly knees and elbows, stick thin, a child, not a maiden, who will still be a pre-teen at the end of the series, if there is no massive time jump.

SHE'S JUST A BABY.

But then, Tyrion did lust after Sansa, so there’s that… however ….

Sansa’s beauty is a driving force in her narrative arc. She is objectified for her beauty. Preyed upon because of her beauty; in many ways it causes her to suffer. It’s largely why LF is grossly infatuated with her - she’s beautiful like Catelyn. Tyrion is attracted to Sansa and wishes to bed her, the H0und intends to rape her during the Blackwater battle, he also comments on her breasts growing, Joffrey sexually humiliates her in court, Ser Dontos has a pervy infatuation with her, Cersei despises Sansa because she is younger, more beautiful etc which she views as a threat.

So, beauty is pertinent to Sansa’s narrative, and it isn’t vain or shallow to say so because it’s a large part as to why she suffers. And her physical beauty is meant to compliment her indulgence in romantic idealism; knights, chivalry, courtly love, beautiful appearances thus equating to good people. It also contributes to perceptions of Sansa; nothing more than a pretty, stupid girl with naive dreams. 

So back to ASOIAF Aria: Her arc largely surrounds nature & nature, mercy, war trauma and survival, friendship, belonging, and family. For the majority of the story, she is a traumatised 10 year old travelling through a war torn country, witness to awful horrors, forced to assume multiple identities, until she goes to Braavos and begins her faceless man arc. But this is obviously not her endgame - she is going to go home eventually, that is quite clear.

You can argue she had a little crush on Gendry (as a 10 year old would) (and perhaps something may happen with him when she is older, I think GRRM has played with it.) But other than that, romance is not a central part of Aria's arc insofar. For outline Aria it was, but current ASOIAF Aria is on a completely different tangent all together.

(and that poor poor child is suffering immensely while this is all occurring).  Currently, she has no time for/interest in it. She hasn’t been involved in betrothals/marriages, or had men lusting after her (save ‘Mercy’ and people men making brutalising sexual comments towards her). She disguises herself as a boy for a good chunk of the story as it is safer to travel.

No, I’m not trying to reduce any sexual trauma/objectification she suffers, she’s a little girl for heaven’s sake - I’m merely stating that what she is going through is in some ways similar and different to what Sansa is going through. (Who currently is in a in a very Lolita type situation with LF and men sexually intimidating/abusing her has been a key part of her arc - as I said, she suffers significantly due to her beauty. She is something to possess, she isn't real or tangible, she is a beautiful maid with a vast claim to the North.)

Anyway, ASOIAF Aria finds songs and romance ‘stupid.’ 

“Sansa would have shed a tear for true love, but Arya just thought it was stupid.” (Arya VIII ASOS) 

 (but that doesn’t mean she won’t encounter it later in life, it just means that at this point of the story, she isn’t interested/likely won't encounter some epic grand romance that outline Aria was likely destined for. (And she’s 11 for god’s sake!).

‘But Sansa was dreaming of love at that age!’

Sansa has been a romantic idealistic dreamer since she was a little girl. She adored those stories and is the literal embodiment of the mediaeval pre-raphaelite maiden depicted in art. It’s central to her story arc, to her qualities, and how she functions/copes with things around her. “Life is not a song.” Is so fundamental to that.

So to reiterate ASOIAF Aria is a completely different character to outline Aria- for all we know OG Aria was 15 years old, very beautiful to the point of men duelling over her, (just as depicted in art above) likely a romantic heroine, had consistent memory lapses that would cause her to “realise in terror, she had fallen for Jon,” and based off of GRRM’s past works - was probably a redhead. 

“But OG Aria has a sword named needle!”

Indeed, but as I stated, we don’t know anything else about her beyond that. Many have theorised that D@ny and Jon are the epic romance of the series, but it’s clear from this particular outline that GRRM intended for it to be Aria and Jon as the epic major romance of the series. That would mean Aria would have to be a somewhat romantically-inclined character, for this development to appear natural and not forced. Based on her current ASOIAF arc, it doesn’t track for her character to make a sudden 180. Her softness and vulnerable moments come from thinking of her family and home. Insofar, this isn’t equated to yearning for love, romance, children, as Sansa has done from the beginning of the series.

Now, we know GRRM is a self-proclaimed romantic, and ASOIAF Sansa exists very much as a deconstruction of romanticism. 

“He said he is a romantic, in the classical sense. He said the trouble with being a romantic is that from a very early age you keep having your face smashed into the harshness of reality. That things aren’t always fair, bad things happen to good people, etc. he said it’s a realistic world, so romantics are burned quite often. This theme of romantic idealism conflicting with harsh reality is something he finds very dramatic and compelling, and he weaves it into his work.” (2005 interview).

Sansa is arguably, the embodiment of this dismantling. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that love isn’t real, or that it doesn’t deserve to exist in a gritty world such as Westeros. There were many couples who had good, happy marriages, even after war and loss and trauma. For example, apart from the Jon Snow situation, Ned and Catelyn had a remarkably healthy relationship. So it is possible - the takeaway from the series is not that hoping is meaningless, dreams are meaningless, love is meaningless. More so that it is complicated, and it must coexist alongside all the chaos in order to achieve a sort of

equilibrium. A literal ‘Dream of Spring’ a hope for happiness, rather than happiness itself. It tracks with the bittersweet conclusion to the series ; it is a grimdark story, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll be a grimdark ending where everyone good and noble dies and wishes/dreams/innate desires remain unfulfilled. 

In fact, I argue that a lot of them will come true - but at what cost? It’ll be at the cost of loss and grief, of suffering upon suffering, but what’s inherently more powerful, what’s more subversive is having those characters persist and rebuild, regenerate, create a new world where love and chaos undoubtedly exist alongside each other, but just because there is chaos, that does not mean the love is miniscule or cancels out entirely. 

Because if all these characters have the most unsatisfying, awful conclusions known to man, well - what was the point of everything? What was the point of their journeys? This isn’t a nihilistic story, and it won’t have a nihilistic ending like everyone assumes. It’s far more difficult for an author to craft such an ending, balancing things out whilst acknowledging all the loss and still holding out hope for a better future to come. That brighter days will arrive. That winter will end, and spring will be on the horizon.

“We may lose our heads, it’s true. But what if we prevail?” (Davos I ADWD). 

And that right there, sums it up perfectly. 

So you need characters like Sansa, characters like Brienne, D@ny, (you know what let’s just add all the Stark children of the series to the list, because every single character arc is about remaining resilient and prevailing in some way or another). 

But it’s Sansa who exists as the meta character that embodies/indulges in all those romantic ideals that GRRM is intent on exploring - it thus makes perfect sense for it to be her that experiences the romance arc. Many people think she’ll end up with the H0und, or Harry the douchebag, because it’s a part of her growing up, maturing, learning from her negative biases etc etc but she shouldn’t have to be with abusive or douchy men to learn that. She’s already learned and suffered enough. 

“It is my claim they want. No one will ever marry me for love.”

And how utterly heartbreaking that she has resigned to think this, with her arc only mid-way. But importantly, just a few chapters later she enters the garden of undisputed beauty and equates the snow landing on her face with romantic kisses, she dreams of innocence and winterfell, despite lamenting how she doesn’t belong in such a pure world, she steps out into it all the same. And she builds her home in the snow, content and for once - she’s the child she is, the child she is yearning to be.

So Sansa falling in love with Jon makes sense on a characteristic level. It’s something she never would have considered as a sheltered child, not just because he’s her bastard half brother but because he just didn’t exist in her idea of how the world works. He didn’t fit in with her idea of knights, and courtly love and chivalry. He wasn’t a gallant golden prince, he was dark, sulky and brooding. He existed on the parameters of her life, and she was comfortable with that distant association - but she still loved him, and he her. 

Falling in love with Jon would equate to a dismantling of these previous prejudices  she held; he’s utterly unconventional, the opposite of what she has shown attraction to (despite her first ‘love’ being Waymar Royce, who resembles Jon strikingly). The man she never really considered beyond courtesy and some scarce, fond memories - to be the one who restores her faith in men, in love, in dreams. 

“Realising with terror that she has fallen in love with Jon… their passion will continue to torment them.” 

tracks with Sansa’s characterisation particularly, her memory lapses, her clouded judgement, and inability to interpret things correctly (and something as confusing as this would certainly cause her to have some cognitive dissonance going on).

Not to mention caution around well… men. Because who would ever marry her for love? Who would ever take her for true? Love her without expectations and judgement? It’s Jon. Who has been there since the very beginning, who has been a silent unconscious hero, the answer to her prayers, who embodies all those romantic and knightly ideals she has so desperately wanted - despite her being unaware. Who has advocated for her claim - above everyone else.

“No one will ever marry me for love.” And that infamous Jon chapter follows. Jon who is never quite far from Sansa’s suitors. Jon, who has a similar dream of rebuilding Winterfell, of having children named after lost siblings, who wants to woo a girl by giving her a rose and loving beneath the heart tree - the heart of Winterfell. Who would undeniably want to have that beautiful soul-nourishing love he never received as a child, that he believes is perpetually unavailable to him. 

Above all,  they just fit together. It fits with GRRM’s William Faulkner-esque “the human heart in conflict with itself".” And this is a perfectly subversive way of  encapsulating that Jon confusing brotherly love and affection with romance, struggling with the shame of it all - especially post-resurrection, the religious disillusionment that would occur, the notion of Jon being loved by the kind of girl he believed he never had the right to, who his deeply romantic heart is yearned for. (There is a reason GRRM let us know how badly Jon yearns for domesticity, Winterfell love, children, and a wife. He associates his love for Ygritte with her singing, her hair, her smile. He dreams of her tending to him with gentle hands) The simple yet meaningful things that have been denied to him because of his bastardry. And god, what better way to torment these two than by having them fall for each other - realising they fit each other so perfectly, yet tormented by their familial relation. Until, as the outline puts, the parentage is revealed. 

Do I believe they will act on their feelings pre-parentage reveal? No. It’ll likely exist in the subtext, in private thoughts and actions. Angst, guilt. Again, the stuff that GRRM loves - the human heart is in conflict with itself. 

Much like Lord Byron’s ‘The Bride of Abydos.” Where half-siblings fall in love with each other until they realise they are actually cousins. Lord Byron, who was famously in love with his half sister Augusta, who was a stranger to him for a good portion of his life until they properly got to know each other and fell in love. (Who does that sound like?’)

And if you’re wondering how Jon and Sansa could possibly connect to Lord Byron, well there is a ‘Byron the Beautiful’ in Alayne II AFFC, and Alayne I TWOW. GRRM has further instilled characters by the name of “Manfred” which is in reference to Lord Byron’s infamous work of the same name. (I urge you to check out all of Cappy's Byron metas, they are fantastic.

And, Jon has been called a “Brooding, Byronic, romantic heroine whom all the girls love.” GRRM knows what Byronic is inferring - he isn’t daft, he’s a writer - he reads other works and takes influence and sprinkles in so many things. 

A Byronic character involves:

. . romantic melancholy, guilt for secret sin, pride, defiance, restlessness, alienation, revenge, remorse, moodiness, and such noble virtues as honor, altruism, courage, and pure love for a gentle woman. (Poetry Foundation, Lord Byron)

“GRRM: I was always intensely Romantic, even when I was too young to understand what that meant. But Romanticism has its dark side, as any Romantic soon discovers… which is where the melancholy comes in, I suppose. I don’t know if this is a matter of artistic influences so much as it is of temperament. But there’s always been something in the twilight that moves me, and a sunset speaks to me in a way that no sunrise ever has.”

Infinity plus:

And isn’t that exactly what he would be exploring with Jon and Sansa? It isn’t a conventional romance by any means. It could never exist normally until Jon’s parentage is revealed. And that is the tormented nature of it, that is the “bittersweetness” of it - it is rooted in realism, yes - and that to me, is Sansa receiving her true love, countering that no one would ever marry her for love. The gods will grant it to her, - but it’s wrapped up in this darker, morally ambiguous thing that is confusing for her, even though Jon would be her dream come true - he isn’t this neat little courtly golden package, but he embodies all those ideals more than any man she’s actually met. 

It’s subversive to what both the characters and the readers expect, and it’s just a brilliant plot twist that screams unpredictability whilst fitting together like a perfect puzzle. It creates internal conflict and evokes those themes that GRRM loves to explore. By giving the ‘heroes’ of the series a motif such as incest is extremely bold; because it challenges the reader greatly. Some people don’t want Jon to end up with Sansa because it contradicts the image that they have of him in his head - the heroic male who will save the world with his heroic counterpart and together they shall rule the seven kingdoms. To embrace his father’s family, claim a dragon, fulfil the prophecy, be the third head of the dragon, reject his stark-ness. Very predictable. Done to death a thousand times over, and yet - it is what the general audience wants/expects. It’s what the dudebros who call him the ‘GOAT’ want, it’s what the Targ stans want, it’s what the show watchers wanted - but what does Jon want? 

“Yet he could not let the wildlings breach the Wall, to threaten Winterfell and the north, the barrowlands and the Rills, White Harbor and the Stony Shore, even the Neck. For eight thousand years the men of House Stark had lived and died to protect their people against such ravagers and reavers . . . and bastard-born or no, the same blood ran in his veins. Bran and Rickon are still at Winterfell besides. Maester Luwin, Ser Rodrik, Old Nan, Farlen the kennelmaster, Mikken at his forge and Gage by his ovens . . . everyone I ever knew, everyone I ever loved.” (Jon II ASOS). 

“I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children. I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall. I could name him Robb. Val would want to keep her sister's son, but we could foster him at Winterfell, and Gilly's boy as well. Sam would never need to tell his lie. We'd find a place for Gilly too, and Sam could come visit her once a year or so. Mance's son and Craster's would grow up brothers, as I once did with Robb.

"He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade.” (Jon XII ASOS). 

“Red eyes, Jon realised, but not like Melisandre's. He had a weirwood's eyes. Red eyes, red mouth, white fur. Blood and bone, like a heart tree. He belongs to the old gods, this one. And he alone of all the direwolves was white. Six pups they'd found in the late summer snows, him and Robb; five that were grey and black and brown, for the five Starks, and one white, as white as Snow.”

He had his answer then." (Jon XII ASOS)

“He was the blood of Winterfell, a man of the Night's Watch. I will not father a bastard, he told her. I will not. I will not. "You know nothing, Jon Snow," she whispered.” (Jon VI ASOS)

“Ygritte answered for him. "His name is Jon Snow. He is Eddard Stark's blood, of Winterfell." (Jon VIII ACOK)

"Then you must do what needs be done," Qhorin Halfhand said. "You are the blood of Winterfell and a man of the Night's Watch." (Jon VI ASOS). 

“You can't be the Lord of Winterfell, you're bastard-born, he heard Robb say again. And the stone kings were growling at him with granite tongues. You do not belong here. This is not your place. When Jon closed his eyes he saw the heart tree, with its pale limbs, red leaves, and solemn face. The weirwood was the heart of Winterfell, Lord Eddard always said . . . but to save the castle Jon would have to tear that heart up by its ancient roots, and feed it to the red woman's hungry fire god. I have no right, he thought. Winterfell belongs to the old gods.” (Jon XII ASOS) 

“He sat on the bench and buried his head in his hands. Why am I so angry? he asked himself, but it was a stupid question. Lord of Winterfell. I could be the Lord of Winterfell. My father's heir.” (Jon XII ASOS).

“If I could show her Winterfell . . . give her a flower from the glass gardens, feast her in the Great Hall, and show her the stone kings on their thrones. We could bathe in the hot pools, and love beneath the heart tree while the old gods watched over us.” (Jon V ASOS). 

“If he must perish, let it be with a sword in his hand, fighting his father's killers. He was no true Stark, had never been one … but he could die like one. Let them say that Eddard Stark had fathered four sons, not three.” (Jon IX AGOT).

Look, at the end of the day - we don't know how the story will go, but based off of Jon’s character arc? His thoughts? His actions? His relationships with his siblings? The fact that he has warged into a magical beast directly associated with Starks? The North? The Old Gods? The weir wood trees? I think that instead of GRRM having Jon go down the conventional disadvantaged male hero finding out he is a secret prince and thus becoming King and a proper Targ, GRRM will subvert expectations (much to audience displeasure) and do the opposite.

Learning of his true identity will just cause more angst and a major identity crisis. The one thing Jon finds real and solid, that no one can take from him - is that he is Ned Stark’s son. He raised him. Perhaps they don’t share a direct blood link. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that he was raised by him, loved by him. So instead of choosing his father’s family; embracing the secret prince persona and fighting for the throne - he’ll choose his mother’s family. And I think that is beautifully conclusive.

But back to Jon and Sansa. GRRM is given the opportunity to explore the sort of impact this incest motif has on fundamentally good people. And I think this is what he originally intended to do with Jon and Aria.

Yes, we have Jaime and Cersei, but this is real sibling incest and rife with toxic narcissism, possession etc. We have the T@rgaryens, which are messy beyond belief and practice it due to blood purity. 

But Jon and Sansa clearly differ from the rest, and that is because they exist partly as foils as to what we previously have seen. Similar to Jonnel x Sansa. By intentionally refraining from the development of a properly-close sibling relationship, making Jon and Sansa fundamental opposites visually, and associating them with entirely different cultures (yet writing their core personas as the same, their dreams compatible, their thought process and idealism similar).

GRRM manages to pave the way into such a romance that comes as a shock to the characters, the narrative, and readers themselves. Because no one, absolutely no one would see it coming, and the people who have been privy to the theory - immediately dismiss it - and become quite angry when it is brought up. Like I said earlier, a knee-jerk reaction. 

To quote this brilliant meta right here:

‘Whether Jon and Sansa fall in love is up to the author and his intended exploration of literary/mythic themes that his predecessors have deployed. He is not writing from (or for) the moral values of show watchers and book readers, or their anecdotal hopes for how things “should be.” He’s writing a narrative that breaks away from conventional storytelling and what we expect from such characters.’

…

‘ I don’t believe the author is giving up completely on the romantic dream. He has made Sansa more cautious, converted her dreams into mere prayers, and has forced her to examine her assumptions, but he’s not turning her into the H0und, who is too pessimistic and fatalistic as a suitor. Sandor’s assertion that all knights are killers makes fantasy so small, it’s eliminated. I think he is setting Sansa on a path where her dreams do die, and her life becomes about as romantic as that smokestack in Cleveland - until they start to come alive again when she travels North to the Wall.’

'That cold, hard reality is still present in the fact that they are brother and sister, but once Jon’s parentage is revealed, this will change. Like an inverted Cinderella (clock striking 12), the reality will become fantasy again. But it’s still inladen with this bitter reality of their relations. So taking this into account, I believe Jon and Sansa could happen because there is no other couple in the series with which GRRM can explore his fascination with fantasy becoming “smaller,” but not completely shrinking altogether. There are no two better characters who represent these ideas, who have the same quietly domestic desires - who do not (at the moment) actively lust for power and cause it to blind them.'

So in essence, Jon and Sansa exist as the subversion of romance. In a twisted, loving sort of way that is morally conflicting to the characters and audiences (for a time). That has existed between the lines, subtly and implicitly. That the audience gives absolutely no thought, because why would they? And if they do, they are abhorred by it - but I’d argue this is the entire point. But not for the reasons you think, not because of the incest - or J0nerys would disgust them.

From the moment he started the series, GRRM has employed incest as a major motif that impacts both the narrative and the characters - the causes the war, that contributes to T@rgaryen values, legacy etc, that propels aspects of narcissism and vitriol for characters like Cersei. It’s really really interesting stuff, as uncomfortable as it is - there are no other works that explore it so messily and beautifully with such nuance. 

I believe people seriously underestimate GRRM’s use of omission and subtext. Seriously, just because something is not explicitly stated, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Unfortunately fans have such a surface level reading of the text, that they are unable to peel back the layers and get to its core. They don’t consider literary influences, or art, or the Romantic movement or anything. They claim they want a complex story that is subversive, yet they cheer for the three-headed dragon theory and all the most predictable plot points that have been absolutely done to death. But then they turn up their noses at anything that goes against the grain, or insinuates otherwise.  

R + L = J is a great example of existence within the subtext, yet nobody denies that it is there. No one is called crazy or delusional for it. Ned never thinks of Jon’s true parentage despite harbouring that secret for years, because it is buried deep in his subconscious.

And much to the audience’s surprise (and dismay I'm sure) that is how Jon and Sansa will manifest. This is the human heart in conflict with Jon and Sansa, but not just them - the readers as well. It’s pointing to us, asking us how we’ll possibly handle it. We’re meant to feel this conflict of emotions - anguish and torment and yet hope for something ineffable - just like the characters.

To be able to evoke that as a writer is one of the most impressive feats I can think of - and for the majority of it to exist at this point, in a subconscious limbo?  How utterly complex and painful and raw and intelligent but oh so very brilliant. Perhaps one of the most compelling things to come out of this entire series, if only the general audience was open to such discussions. But alas, we must contend with the community we have, and hope for a dream of spring to come upon us. 

[crazylittlejester]

Ahhh hello :D your takes on Warriors are so absolutely fabulous that I was wondering if you have any favorite headcanons about him? Perchance?

ALSKDKDL OH GEE, THANK YOU I’M GLAD YOU LIKE EM 🥺 i am very mentally ill about the blorbo…

and OH BOY DO I- *cracks knuckles* OKAY:

- The crooked smile thing that I yapped about very recently (link to post)

- He’s not naturally blond, his hair is naturally very curly and a dark brown but he bleaches and straightens it because it’s part of the “Hero” image he’s created for himself to act as. A lot of stress and pressure was put on him at a very young age and he didn’t feel like he was good enough compared to the past heroes, so he created a persona, essentially, of an idealized version of himself so people would think he was worthy of being called hero, and the hair was initially part of it. Nowadays he’s probably just attached to the color, though still somewhat worried about his image

- This one is based off NOTHIN but me, but I headcanon he has chronic low blood sugar :) Because I can, literally no other reason

- He does NOT like things against his neck, specifically the front. It makes him feel like he’s being choked and he’ll start actually coughing and gagging if fabric gets up too high. That scarf is pinned down in place in such a way that he Cannot be strangled by it if someone just pulls it. If they wanna wrap the long ass end of it around his neck and strangle him that way? Sure. If they wanna yank him down to the ground? They easily could. But Warriors is careful not to let anything get too close to his collar bone or higher up his neck. Tall collars are fine just as long as theyre open in the front

- His comfort food is oranges! This comes from a headcanon I have (which I’ve also yapped about in a few other posts) that he gets very uncomfortable with eating certain foods. It’s based off my own personal experience with my food allergies, and since I headcanon Warriors has a fear of poison (in a similar way a fear of cross contamination works), I figured something that’s the equivalent of prepackaged food would feel safe for him. It’s a comfort for him because he can tell himself the peel is going to protect the part he actually eats. COULD you poison an orange? Absolutely. They’re not poison proof, and deep down Warriors does know that, but his dependence on them has ALMOST reached a point of irrationality where he’s got himself convinced the oranges are safe and cannot be poisoned. Mentally, he relies on the fact that the peel will protect his food and he tells himself it’ll be fine because when he’s panicking he can’t really handle the fact he could be wrong, it’d send him spiraling faster

- Not someone you should EVER touch without permission. He will either just be uncomfortable and freak out, or he’ll panic and pull a knife out before he can realize who’s there

- comes from a pretty large family and he lived out in the countryside until he joined the army. directly related to this, he’s very good at sewing because some of his family were tailors and he would’ve been too had the war not happened

i got a lot of thoughts and a lot more headcanons alskkdkdldkdk but my brain is turning off and these are all i got for now

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers :) We’ve reached the episode that rocked me to my very core. Honestly haven’t been this attached to a ship in a very very long time. Years passed without this level of attachment. Bringing out sides of me I didn't think existed. Like doing reviews. But our ship is something special even when they rip our hearts out. I blame Eric and Melissa LOL They are INCREDIBLE in this episode. The both of them. Brought their A game and then some.

This ep legit affected my mood for 3 weeks no joke and utterly destroyed me. I needed extra days to decompress before did my mini. The fandom was so lovely about that too. Love this fandom so much. I still don't know how I got that out tbh lol Also God Bless my bestie D for going through that with me. I got to watch it early that day which normally didn’t get to. Was usually after work. I remember D wanted to stop me but didn’t cause she couldn’t tell me why..

I had to go to a company meeting after and pretend I wasn’t devastated. Be a positive fun leader when inside I was dying. I did a good job my team had no idea lol But damn that was tough. Never been happier for a 3 week break than after this one. We all needed it. Let us begin. And thank you all again for going through this heartbreak with me. Gif count was rough for me so I fit in everything I could and made a ton.

6x06 Secrets and Lies

We start out with Lucy looking as stressed and anxious as we’ve ever seen her. Laying in bed but most definitely is not resting. The brutal toll this situation has taken becoming visible. When Tamara asks how stressed she is from 1-10? Lucy answering 19….Ooof....Could not be more relatable if she tried. When I get this laser focused I too am a nineteen. Her person has been radio silent for days. Her last contact with him was a massive knock out drag out fight.

This is the most time they’ve spent apart since they got together. Like I stated last review other than 6x01 they've scarcely been away from one another. Her UC mission in 5x21 yes but doesn’t really count. They talked every single day. So it’s truly the longest they’ve been apart. No wonder she is at a 19. Poor Lucy. Kills me. Such a wreck without him. Tamara asks if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy tries to defend their situation. Not well but she sure tries lol

Lucy is barely keeping it together and it shows. I love that we get a shot of her pin-up board from that BTS video. The cupcake poster hehe Hopefully that makes a triumphant return in s7. Tamara doesn’t want to add to her stress... But let's her know she wants to move out. With friends from school. Worst timing ever. It makes sense but the timing is horrendous. Lucy takes so many hits this season. It’s almost worse the second time around somehow.

This time Lucy goes to an actual adult about Tim. Not useless Nolan who was painfully inept for her. Couldn’t fit it in but we see her touch her tattoo when she approaches Angela. *heart clutch* I love Melissa for doing it every time though. So subtle yet impactful. Nice little mini gut punch to start the scene. This was the right call though. If anyone knows Tim like her it’s Angela. Lucy asking if she should alert Grey? Honestly she should've but here we are. That would've been a whole other set of problems though...

Lucy feels like she’s going insane so Angela validating her helps. (at first) You know she finds this behavior of his incredibly alarming. We can see the immediate worry painted across her face. That’s her brother. She loves that man like he’s one. What sucks is that, even though Angela is empathetic, she doesn’t fulfill the needs that Lucy is going for. Which is reassurance and 'Hey let’s do this together.' A united front. Hoping since he is acting off Angela's reply would be 'Let's find out why as a team.' She is protecting her but Lucy is in a heightened emotional state and doesn't see that. Only see's being shut out further from Tim.

Angela plays her cards very close to her chest. Like a good detective would. Sadly Lucy wanted more solace than just ‘Trust him.’ That’s all she’s been doing for days. Poor woman is going out of her damn mind with worry. Even tells Angela as such. The reply she gets back not what she wanted… She wanted her detective gut and friendship. Unfortunately she just gets the former. That short lived validation she got earlier dying off quickly. Lucy is so damn upset when she takes off from the convo. Knowing if she sticks around she’s going to cry on shift. My damn heart. Melissa be killing me. Holy hell.

Angela scaring the crap out of Tim is hilarious. Serves him right tbh. This episode had me so upset and twisted, I couldn’t even enjoy scruffy Tim in a leather jacket. You know something is wrong when I can’t gawk over this man. Angela has zero trouble finding him. Because well it’s her. This is why Lucy enlisted her. She needed the best to help her. Such best friend behavior from the minute she enters his car.

Drinking his soda, calling him out, and asking WTF is going on? I adore her brazen bravery. This is why we love Angela Lopez. Willing to get herself fired for him. That she can take the hit not Lucy. I mean she’s not wrong….Angela could easily live off Wes. She would hate it but she could. It's a more viable option. Says it can be ‘Wine o’clock for her.’ LOL I always enjoy them. More of them in s7 please writers.

Tim doesn’t argue with her reasoning. Starts to explain the whole Ray debacle. Why he can’t just let him go. What he has on him. That he needs to catch him in a new crime. So he has reason to actually arrest him. Once Tim fully explains Angela just replies. ‘I’m in.’ Tim is shocked because of course he is ha Even though she is his best friend he can't believe has his back like this. Oh my broken boy. He double checks and asks if she’s sure? Her reply being the absolute best. ‘Yeah. I got your back boo.’ Hehe Lucky she’s your best friend my love.

We rejoin our bestie duo at the docks. Scoping out Ray on whatever back door deals he’s doing. She is studying Tim hard in this scene. It’s the best. Angela tries to impart some logic to Tim. Saying he’s followed Ray for two days and nothing. Asking how long he’s going to do this? Tim replying the most Tim Bradford reply. ‘As long as it takes.’ Angela is on her game today and doesn’t let him get away with it. Saying he’s just going to walk away from his job? From his relationship with Lucy? All to arrest a guy he hasn’t thought about in over a decade?

Something isn’t adding up for her and she is letting him know it. Angela gives her patented look. Knowing it’s something more. There’s a reason she’s such a good detective. Woman knows how to get to the root of things. Tim has only given her surface info at this point. Definitely not enough to justify this crusade he’s currently on. Let’s him know Lucy would understand why he lied on the report. She would even commend him for it really. We know she would. She love his soft heart so much. Tim agrees and says she would still get in trouble for knowing and not reporting him to IA.

A risk she would gladly take if you’d let her Timothy… It’s here Angela digs a little deeper. He gets a second stare. Tim finding it aggravating and telling her as such. Angela let's her next truth bomb drop. Saying he’s doing it to protect himself as much as her. That there’s something he’s not admitting. Mic drop. Nailed it and Tim knows it but won’t entertain it further. Has him dead to rights and he knows it. We then get the glorious BFF line. Like it or not she is. lmao Has your number just like your girl.

We return to Angela’s for Tim to break our hearts some more. Theme of this episode. One punch after another. Literally no time to breathe unless you check out during the other SL's. Which I did tbh.... They’re alone so she probes Tim further. Knowing that it has to be so much more than a report. He wouldn't let Ray get under his skin like this if it was that shallow. That he's bearing the weight of something on his soul. Tim gives in and begrudgingly explains what happened. That he had been squad leader most of his tour. That he was looking to move up to Sergeant First Class. Only caveat was he couldn’t have any rampant criminality in his unit.

Ray was in the way of this. Tim decided to keep it within the squad if they caught him themselves. He did an unsanctioned mission… Oh Timothy….He explains how Ray called in an air strike on them. Did this the minute he knew he was trapped. Schmuck would rather take them with him. Such a cowards move. The way Tim describes the air strike. Ugh my heart. His eyes filling up as he depicts how the world imploded around them. Eric is a master of emotion here. So expressive. Looks like he is right back there, with the most haunted look on his face. He thought he was going to die. Being so vulnerable I wanna hug him.

He and Mark were lucky though. The Humvee took the hit for them. But Henderson and Coyle were ripped apart….Ugh and now we see what he’s been bearing. That he led his men to their deaths. Their loyalty and faith in him had cost them their lives. All because Tim was in pursuit of a promotion. For personal glory. Explains why he wouldn't praise himself or take awards pre-Lucy. Or advance his career before her either. He didn’t feel he deserved anything good. Because the last time that was important to him, he got two of his men killed. Imma go cry now.... My poor broken boy. The PTSD is so real.

Eric continues to rip my heart out. Telling Angela there was so much blood. I can't imagine seeing that. They for sure thought Ray was KIA. No way he survived. It’s the way he catches his breath, tears in his eyes in this next part. I'm so upset for him. The way he points at himself when he says leadership. The failure and shame he feels for what he did. When we found out it would be his military background I was excited. I knew it would be dark though. Whatever this was. But my god. I wasn’t expecting it to be this. But makes perfect sense why he’s kept it from Lucy. He can’t bring himself to forgive what he did. How could he expect Lucy to? To still look at him like he’s the same man she fell in love with?

The deep rooted shame is evident in this scene. This is quite the weight to keep on your soul. One I’m sure he’s never told anyone. Not even Isabel about I bet. My guess is he buried it once he was state side. Like most do with trauma. Hoping it would never resurface. Sadly not how trauma goes... The way he tells the story it’s for the first time. You can tell. He’s right back there re-living it all. This scene gives us so much insight to Tim as a person. Why he is the way he is as a cop. As a person. It explains why he lost his damn mind in 2x01 over Lucy falsifying the report. Probably brought him right back there.

This is a very revealing scene. It makes sense why he shoulders things alone. It’s punishment for what he did. Doesn’t think anyone could love him enough to shoulder it with him. That breaks my damn heart. This ep makes me so emotional. *sad sigh* Nothing scarier than the person you love seeing you at your worst. With his background of abuse, it makes sense why he’s hidden this from Lucy. He doesn’t feel worthy of the comfort she would bring him. Only shame that he made a mistake. Tim is very self loathing and this is why. Coupled with his childhood it makes so much sense why he is the way he is…This one is emotionally heavy af. All his unchecked trauma barreling through like a bullet train in this ep.

Lucy arrives home and Tamara is there to take care of her. Saying she ordered pizza. I love this. She needed this. Lucy leaves the room to drop off her stuff. We hear a knock at the door and it’s Ray.... Earlier he scanned Tim’s vehicle and got Lucy’s address. Which made me sick to my stomach. I knew him grabbing it was going to end this way. Best way to get to Tim is through his heart. When Tamara opened the door and it was him..The hairs at the back of my neck stood up. Tamara calls out for Lucy. She emerges and goes into protect mode right away. Eyes on Tamara first but also hating her gun is locked up.

Heart was in my damn throat the entire time. Lucy handles herself like the bad ass we’ve all come to know and love. Commend her for keeping herself composed when she was terrified. I also adore her not putting up with any of his scare tactic BS. Her line about the only call she’s gonna make is for the ambulance. Like hot damn Lucy. Way to protect Tamara and yourself. It's true she could take his scrawny ass easily. I long to be the confident BAMF she is.

Doesn't hurt she’s still got the rage burning from being in the dark. So not only is her life being threatened now Tamara's is. This is Lucy's FINAL straw. It’s now bled over in the worst way. Not only that but she still has no idea what’s going on. We can see that mama bear come out loud and proud. It’s one thing for her to be involved it’s a whole other thing with Tamara dragged in. This is what pushes her to reach out To Tim. To cut his crap. Whatever this is has now endangered an innocent life. One she loves fiercely and will die to protect.

Lucy RAGE calls Tim and unleashes hell. As she should… Demanding to know where his ass is. Tim knowing he can’t hold her back any longer. So he lets her know. I mean Lucy is million percent done with this crap now. With his behavior, him cutting her out, all of it. So very very done. Rightfully so. I do love him answering ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Knowing she wouldn’t be calling unless something was. He for sure would’ve dropped it all to go to her.

But she was way too pissed to see that fact. She shows up like a bat out of hell. Biting his head off immediately saying 'Does she look ok?' No….she does not. Forever love Angela escorting Tamara out of the room. Mom and dad about to have it out so let's go. The concern all over his face kills me though. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. The very thing he was striving for by shutting her out backfired horribly. Not only did he endanger her but Tamara too.

It was Lucy’s final straw and she is showing it. These were the types of fights that are needed though. As much as this hurts she is fighting him to save them. Because he is worth the bother and effort. Just like he stated in 5x08. Asking why her and Chris never fight?They’re fighting against each other to protect one another it kills me. Also you know your ship has chemistry when even their fights are lightning in a bottle goodness. Just as amazing as their happy stuff. I can't speak enough to their fantastic on-screen chemistry. Even though this fight is fiery and hurts to watch it's hurts so good to watch them hash it out.

Tim explains who Ray is and Lucy don’t give a single fuck. It’s not who he is that has her raging. It’s him cutting her out that is. I love the movements Melissa does in this scene. I know she had an interview about her being mad. Thinking she was awkward. It wasn't at all. Was so real. I think she nailed it. Her body language is on point. How she stamps her foot. Shouting how who Ray is doesn’t explain why he iced her out. At all. She is VIBRATING with anger. Yelling at Tim to stop protecting her. Which he won't. That is like asking him to stop breathing tbh. He would rather die than not protect her. Ugh his reply of ‘ I can’t. I won’t.’ They’re at odds with the deepest part of their souls. Of who they are.

Tim will never stop protecting her. Just as she will never stop trying to help him. Been in her DNA from the jump. For him to not let her is just as painful as Tim not protecting her. *sigh* This is where their intense need to protect each other backfires so badly. Sounds romantic and sometimes it is. But in these type of moments, it shows the cracks in their already fractured communication. It real though. Communicating is HARD. Especially when you both come from abusive homes where that wasn't taught. If you aren't taught healthy communication you're just not going to do it. Simple as that. It's like a muscle that never gets used. Then when it does it feels so unnatural and painful.

These two are going to be the death of me. Hell they already have been. They have so much to work on in s7. It’s insane. I'm excited for it though. Lucy then brings up how Lopez was read in but not her. She is HIS PERSON. If anyone should be read in it’s her. Consequences be damned. Yeah Angela does have less to lose but that is NOT the point. Tim is clearly not getting that fact. I adore Lucy grabbing his hands during the end of the scene. Mirroring back she 'Can’t and won’t' not help him. Telling him she is over being to good girlfriend. He’s going to let her in NOW. Oooh lord. You Tell 'em Luce.

Their OP to foil Ray goes off without a hitch. Tim tells him it’s over. That there isn’t an air stroke to save him this time. Ray tells Tim ‘I am the air strike. I’m about to blow up your whole life.’ *grumble* It’s so true on many many levels. Watching Tim be so stoic in his IA investigation kills me. Wish could've fit this in. Eric be out here again making me emotional af two eps in a row. You can see the tears in his eyes but the rest of him is controlled. That military background of his coming in clutch.

it pains me to watch him lie and have it destroy him. I remember I saw people saying how could he lie? That’s not like him. Um no. This is very like Tim. Not to lie but to protect those he loves. If lying protects Lucy and Lopez that’s what he’s going to do. He has a history of being a little gray for those he loves. Isabel is a good example of that. All that went down with Detective Murphy was similar to this. ‘Some things matter more.’ Once again rings true with him. Tim is believed over Ray. Because even if Tim doesn’t want to believe this he is the better man.

Better reputation and Percy closes the investigation. Have missed him. But whoever he’s around it’s not good. Love the actor though. What happens after is rough to say the least. Never seen Grey as disappointed in Tim as he is here. Reprimanding him and having to report him to Pine SUCKS. R.I.P. Metro Tim. I loved you so…It’s killing Tim to have Grey look at him this way. Deeply respects him and to be scolded by him cuts him. Just dismisses Tim without further comment or fight….

God almighty the song playing in the background. I don’t even remember it. I only watched this scene once. I think I blacked out a lot in this moment. The immense shock rocked my system. Suffice to say it’s beautiful. The piano, the haunting oohs and lyrics are the perfect backdrop to this devastating scene. I felt this building anxiety watching this scene. Waiting for the hammer to drop. When she pulled him into her arms *phew* It was first breath I had taken in nearly two episodes. These eps had me on the razor's edge of sanity. I love her waiting outside for him and instantly pulling him into her arms. Just like Tim did for her in 5x22. I'm fine.....Imma cry as I write this. Horse heaven playing in my ears right now. Adding to my emotional state. These two getting me all weepy.

I’ll be honest I thought if a break up was coming, it was coming from Lucy the first time. Which is why this devastated me like it did. Having the full season in hand now. Makes total sense it’s Tim. At the time I thought would be her. But that wouldn’t be like Lucy at all. After everything he put her through. The secrets, the lies and shutting her out. She had every damn right. But she loves this man unconditionally. So unconditionally. Everything Lucy does in this scene is a reflection of that unconditional love. There to pick up his broken pieces despite all of that went down. Look at her in those gifs above.

Especially that second one. First time she took a breath too. So grateful to be here for him in this moment. I truly thought ‘Oh. Maybe we’re ok... She’s hugging him.’ Encasing him in her arms. Trying to absorb all of his hurt. Supporting him the way he sought out days previous. Gently cradling him against her. It's the tender way she nestled her fingers at the back of his head that gets me. Tapping into some ship crack for me there. *phew* Honestly thought with her being there for him they would make it out unscathed. I truly did. The chemistry from this hug is unreal btw. Tim doesn’t feel worthy in the least. The way he slumps against her. Doesn’t really hug her back like normal. Can't see Lucy is so willing to absorb his hurt and pain. To love him through this. This hug is beautifully tragic.

Lucy releases him and he looks as broken as I’ve ever seen him. 4x09 x 1000 tbh. He shirks away from her. Hands in his pocket. So disgusted and ashamed with himself. Something l've learned in Pilates is posture and the importance of it. When you stand tall and at full height. You are confident and sure of yourself. When you are slumped it presents a lack of confidence, shame, and feeling unworthy. His posture is screaming that. Like he feels he shouldn’t even be in her presence right now. He crushes me with how he says he lied about everything.

Then sarcastically almost sardonically follows it up with ‘But hey it saved my job….’ The amount of disdain in his voice is gut wrenching. The whole reason he was in this Ray mess was to further himself. To keep his career intact. He saw a promotion and went for it at all costs. What he just did lying to IA was to be that same man again. (In his mind) To put his career first over what’s right. Risked people's lives again as well. People he loves. Sickens him ten years later he’s doing the same thing all over again. Even though it's so different this time. There is still nobility in it with saving Lucy and Lopez. But this man can't see that right now. Doesn't see any good in this situation or himself.

Lucy does her best to sympathize. Telling him it was an impossible situation. If it had been her she would’ve done the same thing. Thing is if it had been for Tim yes she would’ve without question. But he can’t see the forest for the trees atm. He is drowning absolutely drowning in his self-loathing. Tim continues on with the painful self flogging. Telling her she would’ve never been in his position. Putting her on a pedestal while he makes himself very very small. That OTP line from 6x03 from him 'You could never disappoint me.' That is true. The problem is he doesn't realize he could never disappoint her either. Tragically Tim doesn't view it that way. Only sees he's not worthy.

Lucy once again tries to pick up his pieces. Telling him he thought he could handle it. He was wrong but made it right. It’s like she can sense him pulling away in this moment. Doing her best to calm his fears about himself. Trying to do what she’s always done in years past best. Build him up. Soothe him. Sadly she isn’t gaining an inch of ground with him. He is stuck in how he feels and there is no budging him. Tim is morose saying he wishes it was that easy….We can see the incredible amount hurt on his face. Telling her he just lied to two men he deeply respects. He is coming undone rapidly and Lucy can see it. I adore her putting her hands on him. Trying to right his ship.

Ground him to her in this moment. Because once again it's something she’s done so well in the past. Tim is spiraling so hard he can’t see her gesture for what it is. Tells her he just betrayed everything he thought was right about himself. *heart clutch* Lucy can’t stand him talking down about himself. Tries to interrupt but Tim won’t allow it. Lucy graciously nods and lets him get it out. Especially when he tells her how hard this is for him. She is so wonderfully understanding it makes my heart ache. Tim feels like he is a bad guy. Thought he had gotten past this and was sucked back in so easily. Truly believed he had become a better person since then. (He has) Ray was right he was gonna blow up his entire life.

He just exposed Tim for the fraud he already felt he was. Bringing his greatest sin to light. Bringing up feelings of not being deserving. Of inadequacy. His abuse background pulling into the station and not leaving. Tim is back to a place of massive self loathing. Saying he has been lying to himself for years. Thinking he’s gotten better when he hasn’t. To him he reverted back to the man he thought he left behind. Not only that he put his person. The woman he loves at risk to cover up his past. To cover up his shame. It’s hitting him like a freight train of terrible realization. Continuing on to say he can’t go back to the way it was. I was hopeful when he said ‘Right now.’ Then followed it up with maybe never….

Lucy had been nodding along. Being so wonderfully empathetic and understanding. She was with him till he said that. Then she is hit with her own terrible realization. He’s leaving her. She is losing him. In the same parking lot where he told her to take a risk. Where she expressed her concern over losing him if they did. Worried about losing the most important relationship in her life due that risk. The same spot where he told her 'Unless it is.' A giant stab to our collective shipper hearts.

It's why Lucy is in a state of utter shock. As we all were tbh. She shakily asks him if he’s breaking up with her? When he said I’m sorry. I remember having to pause. Freak out and cry. I recall chanting ‘No no no….’ To myself repeatedly. My dog was very alarmed. Because I was distraught af. I couldn't believe this was really happening. My happy place was being decimated before my eyes.

Look at the range of emotions on Tim's face before he delivers that line though. Eric you why you doing this to me? They blow this scene out the damn water. it's so visceral. and raw. He looks like he's about to have a breakdown before he delivers that line. Battling with himself about it. There's a desperate need to want to stay with her. But his self doubt and hatred wins out knowing he isn't deserving. Do I think he came out thinking he was going to do this? A little. I think the more he spoke about it and himself the decision was made. He wasn't going to be be talked off this ledge.

The way Lucy replies after this rips my heart out. This break up feels like death by a thousand paper cuts. Months later and this hurts just as much as the first time. Lucy doesn't hold back in the least. Telling Tim he doesn't get to do that. Her line about using it as an excuse is so spot on. This Ray situation has hit VERY close to home for Tim. An insanely sensitive subject for him. It's rubbed against a wound that never really healed properly. Just was buried in the back of his mind.

He doesn’t have the capacity or emotional maturity to handle it. So he ejects out as a coping mechanism. Lucy calls his ass right away for it. It’s so painful to her that he is doing this excuse. Because it feels like a crappy cheat to them. To her. It's truly a cop out and our girl deserves better than this. Especially after all they’ve been through together. All that rapport and trust they’ve built over the years. It’s an insult to who they are as a couple and the relationship they’ve developed. Sadly that all vanishes in this moment. It’s stunning Lucy and straight murdering my feels.

Her ‘That's not okay.’ is a dagger to my shipper heart. The way she continues to repeat herself cause she's in shock. Ugh.This goes down as one of the most painful breakups I've had to go through. Lucy is so upset he is going this route. Melissa had a great interview (quite a few actually.) About the lie line and using it as an excuse for Tim. She noted Lucy is upset cause how he’s acting isn’t them. That they get to have these conversations. Not only have them but recover and grow from them. It’s what she expecting from him in this moment. It's what she expected from his 5x08 Mantra going into this relationship.

She is telling him I’ve got your back. I’ve got you. What are you doing? What happened to ‘Unless it is?’ Lucy continues to vehemently disagree with him. As she should. The worst part is Tim says ‘I know.’ Like he knows what he’s doing is wrong. Knows to eject after everything isn’t ok. Yet he can’t stop himself. He is not emotionally mature enough to handle this conversation properly. Also too blinded by his own self-hatred to see the unconditional love she is showing for him in this moment. God this is painful.

Tim then comes in with the breakup line of ‘You’re an incredible person.' Lucy can’t believe this shit . She really can’t. That Tim is is doing this to her. To them. Even though Tim is being genuine with his statement. You can hear it in his voice. Doesn't do anything to soothe the wounds he's causing. Once again Melissa crushing it with the upset body language. The mannerisms are so on point. Maybe it's because I'm Italian and I use my hands when I'm upset. I do exactly what she's doing. Why I appreciate it so much. It's so real.

It's a cop out what he is doing. 'It’s not you it’s me' schtick. We see the anger building in Lucy. She can't even look at him in the second gif. For him to toss away what they have is painful enough. To do it based off a cliched excuse is destroying Lucy. Thinking what they had was worth so much more than this. Thought they worth the nasty fights. No way she knows fully what happened or she would figure out why he's really doing this. That’s what makes the rest of Lucy's replies so god damn tragic. She is trying to hold onto him for dear life. But is only being pushed away in return...

Tim continues to push forward with this breakup. Letting her know she deserves better than him. It's SO much deeper than that but it's the only way he can convey it right now. Her ‘Oh my god…’ This is her worst nightmare. Her biggest fear come to life. This is why she hesitated starting this relationship. Why she was so afraid of risking her most important relationship. It's unfolding before her eyes and she can’t stop it.

Like a bad dream she can't seem to wake up from. We all wish we could...Tim has never felt worthy of Lucy’s love, light or praise. This reaction just proves that. It's been building for a long time and this is the final result of it. It’s not logical but a trauma brain rarely is. The amount of emotional and physical abuses he endured growing up left it's mark. Has him truly convinced Lucy could never love him knowing what he did. Tim feels he does not deserve her comfort, support or love.

Punishing himself and denying what he need most because he feels unworthy. Thinks he has made a mistake so grave there is no coming back for him. No way she could love him if she knew. So he like Angela stated earlier Tim is protecting himself. Pains me to watch. Now as I've said before it's not to excuse but to explain his side of it. I understand why he's doing it even if it's fucked up.

He doesn't give Lucy much more than she deserves better. Tells her it's why he's walking away. This man feels so undeserving of the love she has to give. In his mind he thinks he’s doing her a kindness. To separate herself from such a shameful and broken man. That she could do better than him. To Tim he made the biggest sin and can’t live with himself about it. He can't envision a world where Lucy would love him through it. The tragedy is she already was in this scene.

Lucy isn’t hearing any of it. Full on panic spiral that I shared in this moment. Her ‘Don’t do this. Why are you doing this?’ Is the most soul crushing part. She can feel him slipping through her hands. Like sand rushing through her fingertips. She can’t hold onto a grain of him. Can only stand there as he gives up on them. His face in the third gif...Knife to my soul. *screams into a pillow* It's killing him to walk away from her. Eric and his expressive eyes has me bawling. The quiver in his bottom lip as well. Gah it hurts to watch them both in so much pain. It’s the way she pulls away with one hand, but is clutching his other hand for dear life, that really gets me in that last gif.

Asking him once again why are you doing this? I shared that sentiment in this moment.. Tim stands firm in his decision to end them and rip all of our hearts out. Eric had a great quote about how Tim handed this whole thing. ‘He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through. And it can come out as a bit too strong.’ He feels he is a burden Lucy therefore he is removing himself. Not thinking about the damage it’s going to do to her. The immense regret he’s going to feel when he regulates a bit more.

Something therapy has taught me is we are ruled by our nervous system. Anxiety, stress, fear etc Tim’s was haywire in this moment. All of them going off at once. Not thinking clearly. Acting out of fight or flight. He took the flight option unfortunately. The tragic way he grabs her head and gives her the saddest head kiss. Shattering all of our hearts in the process. It’s the devastated look on his face when he strokes her hair and takes off. One final gut punch from him. It's like he’s leaving behind his greatest treasure and can’t bear to be around it any longer. Lucy is clutching to him until he departs. *snifffle*

The man actually thinks she is better off without him. Truly believes that. Even if Lucy had succeeded it keeping Tim, this would've reared it’s ugly head again down the road. This breakup ruined my friggin life. I kid you not. They were my happy place. My consistent happy place. And now that was gone. It affected my mental health a little too not gonna lie. I think I was in mourning for three weeks. Honestly I still am. Low key will be till they're fixed. Those three weeks were unbearable. But also needed. Thank you again to my bestie D for being my mourning partner through out that. Kept me sane.

That being said I think this will push them in the best direction. A healthier and stronger one. I truly believe that. I recently broke up with a friend who I had been friends with for ten years. It was very hard on me but time. Boundaries were being pushed and it wasn't healthy anymore. My therapist pointed me to a wonderful book called ‘Goodbyes and good boundaries. ’ While It helped heal my heart it also has really good pieces in it. Stuff made me think of this very ep tbh. Sure that wasn't her goal LOL But my brain is always in a Chenford state of mind in some way or another.

First one that made me think of them. ‘Health cannot bond to unhealth.’ As much as it wasn’t fair for Lucy. And god it wasn’t after everything else this season. Tim was in such a radioactive state staying with her wouldn’t have worked anyway. He was radiating turmoil. Lucy can do a lot for him but not this. He NEEDED therapy so much. There are things you learn in there that only your therapist can help you with. He was unhealth and Lucy was trying to keep her empathetic healthy self to him. It was never going to work. Not unless Tim put in some work. Which he couldn't at this point in time.

“Relationship often die not because of conversations never had but rather conversations needed but never had.” Another good one made me think of them. Tim was not ready in the least for the adult conversation required of him in this moment. Or their entire relationship really. They both danced around the issues a lot. 6x02 closest we got. Even then it was one sided. Thus them dying in this moment. Despite Lucy’s damndest to keep them afloat. Remind him of what they’re fighting for. Of why they started this. This breakup was painful af. Despite how this wrecked my world it’s going to be good for them in the long run.

I will say Lucy in that last gif was all of us in that moment. It was a soul crushing moment that decimated this fandom. Still blows my mind Melissa and Eric were surprised just how insanely devastated we were. Why they did those lovely posts during the three weeks. To thank us and to hold on. Growth is coming. They’re going to be even better after this. Doesn’t mean this didn’t hurt like a SOB and won’t long after they reunite. Curse you Eric and Melissa. You are incredible to evoke such emotions out of us all.

Thank you for going through this with me again. It wasn’t easy but they always worth it. Appreciate any and all comments, likes or reblogs I get. I shall see you all in 6x07 :)

Side notes non chenford

Balian doing the creepy bed thing again. Just have to note that.

Also can’t believe they didn’t end the ep with their breakup. There is a whole minute or so of I don’t give a shit after that scene. I was so distraught they could’ve had Nolan walk into a wall and I wouldn't have noticed.

[runawaycatwalker]

Part 27. Safely Seen (Oni-Chan 2.0, part D)

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Description below the cut

Astrowalker flies toward a mountain, near the base of which is a small clearing at the top of a sheer cliff.

Astrowalker (internally): Good, she's not here yet.

Adrien detransforms as he drops to the ground and reaches for the shoe that he previously cut a hole in.

Adrien: Claws in.

Adrien puts on his hat, pulls up the hood of his hoodie, and pulls out Rolland’s knife.  Plagg gestures towards the knife incredulously.

Plagg: A knife?  You came all the way out here to pull out a knife?

Adrien: I'm here because this is where Cosmobug is going to be.

Adrien peeks from behind the tree towards the sky, where Cosmobug is flying in.

Adrien: And there she is.

Adrien holds up the knife, where he looks at his own reflection.

Adrien: So here I am.

Adrien walks out from behind the tree as Oni-Chan teleports in.

Adrien starts to petrify as he grabs Oni-Chan’s sword and stabs his knife between the branches in the sword, locking it in place.

Adrien: Gotcha.

Oni-Chan tries to jiggle the sword out of the frozen Adrien’s grasp.

Oni-Chan: Some boy seizing my sword isn't going to stop me from...

A close-up of Oni-Chan’s face as she realizes who this boy is.

Oni-Chan: Wait.

Oni-Chan reaches a hand towards Adrien’s frozen face.

Oni-Chan: You're...

Cosmobug (wearing the red glove side of her Lucky Charm, still attached to the black glove part) flies towards the akuma and throws her yo-yo.

Cosmobug: Get away from him!

Oni-Chan teleports behind Cosmobug, attacking her with her sword.  Cosmobug, her yo-yo having gone too far to immediately be of use, blocks the strike with her Lucky Charm gloves.

Oni-Chan: Ladybug, you don't understand!  That boy down there is—

Cosmobug slips the black glove of the Lucky Charm into Adrien’s frozen hand so that they’re holding hands together.

Cosmobug: Adrien Agreste!  I know!

Cosmobug uses her grasp on Adrien to give her leverage as she simultaneously kicks Oni-Chan in the chest and uses her yo-yo to grab the sword and (using Adrien's arm as a way to redirect the yo-yo string) and yank it away.

Cosmobug: I figured out he was going to be here!  And I'm going to save him!

Oni-Chan goes flying off the cliff and into the trees below.

Oni-Chan: Aaahhhh!

Cosmobug: No more evil doing for you, little akuma!

Cosmobug breaks the sword with her yo-yo and captures the akuma in one smooth motion, then throws the Lucky Charm gloves into the sky to cast her cure.

Cosmobug: Time to de-evilize!  Miraculous Ladybug!

As the magical ladybugs restore Adrien to normal, he is startled (to the point to dropping his knife) as Cosmobug jumps on him, hugging him with her arms and legs as she wears a ginormous grin on her face.

Cosmobug: Adrien!!!!!!!  I found you!

As Adrien and Cosmobug fall together, he lets himself wrap his arms around her, relishing this moment where he can accept her embrace again.

Cosmobug: I can't even explain how worried I've been, Adrien!  I'm just so glad that you're alive!  I searched everywhere trying to find out where you'd really gone!  And now you're here!

Adrien: I'm here.

Adrien smiles sheepishly as Cosmobug pins him to the ground.  Cosmobug’s eyes bug out in embarrassment at the position she has him in.

Adrien: But, uh, Cosmobug?  Can I sit up please?

Cosmobug: Waaahh...?

Adrien: I don't mind being like this!  But I think I fell on something pointy...?

Cosmobug jolts up and flings the knife straight behind her.  Adrien holds up his hands and tries to laugh off his situation.

Cosmobug: Eep!  Sorry!  I didn't mean—!

Adrien: It's fine!  No harm done!

Cosmobug: It's not all fine!

Adrien leans into Cosmobug’s touch as she caresses his cheek, wiping her thumb at the tears that have started forming in his eyes.  With her other hand, she points her fingers towards the bruise on his neck, stopping short of touching it.

Cosmobug: I can't bear the thought of you getting hurt, Adrien.  Whatever you've been through?  You didn't deserve it.  None of your suffering was okay.  Which is why I refuse to let it happen again.

Cosmobug holds up her hands theatrically as she starts dreaming up the perfect plan.  Adrien is shown from behind, expression unseen.

Cosmobug: I'll personally see to it that you have someone who cares about you by your side 24/7, so you'll be completely safe!  I know you have some amazing friends who would do anything for you!

Adrien (talked over): Cosmobug, I don't think I—

Cosmobug: And since I know it can be hard to ask people for help, I'll ask them for you!

Cosmobug smiles and raises her hand towards her earring as it starts beeping loudly.

Cosmobug: I just know Marinette would love to—

Adrien (talked over): Really, I—

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

Cosmobug: Sorry!  I'm about to detransform!  Be right back!

Cosmobug hovers off the edge of the cliff, giving a wave and a thumbs up.  Adrien kneels, reaching his finger towards the ring he stashed through the hole in his shoe.

Cosmobug: The end is in sight!  Just sit tight for a second and you'll be home free!

Marinette, all starry-eyed, touches the sides of her face in glee.  Tikki is mostly focused on eating the space power up cookie.

Marinette: Adrien's here, Tikki!  Thank you thank you thank you for giving me that Lucky Charm!  It led me right to him!

Tikki: Lucky Charms are more the universe providing you what you need than me...

Marinette: Close enough!  If it weren't for you, I'd still be powerless to help Adrien.  But now I can protect him!

Tikki, halfway through her cookie, looks away uneasily.

Tikki: Aren't you forgetting to ask Adrien what he wants?

Marinette: I know what he wants: to be with the people he cares about.  His friends are all dying to help, so we'll be perfect for giving Adrien everything he needs to feel that he's safely home!

Tikki: I guess... but maybe you should first make sure that your other friend gets home too?

Marinette grabs the side of her head in distress at the reminder.

Marinette: I FORGOT ALL ABOUT KAGAMI!

Somewhere in the trees at the bottom of the cliff, Cosmobug finds Kagami and waves to her.  Kagami shows Cosmobug the knife she found.

Cosmobug: Hey, Kagami!  I totally didn't forget to come get you!  I've just got a... surprise for you!

Kagami: Was the surprise this knife that almost hit me in the head?

Cosmobug: No!  I mean... The real surprise is going to be much better than a knife, ha ha!  Let me show you!

Cosmobug, having picked up Kagami to bring her to the clearing at the top of the cliff, gestures in front of them cheerfully.  Kagami looks confused.

Cosmobug: Tada!

Kagami: ...I am confused.  There seems to be nothing here?

Cosmobug turns her head in shock.

Cosmobug: What?  No!

Cosmobug kneels prone on the ground of the empty clearing, Kagami watching from behind at the cliff’s edge.

Cosmobug: Adrien was right here...  He was...

Below is the same image as above, only without text:

[signanothername]

yooo, it's me the playlist/fic anon! tysm for the songs and playlists, COMPLETELY FORGOT OUT 6UP 5OH COP OUT BY WILL WOOD I FUCKING FORGOT IT HOW COULD I IT DOES FIT SO WELL

AND OFC I CAN SHARE THE FIC WHEN i'M DONE I'D BE HONORED IF YOU READ IT ONCE I GET THE FIRST CHAPTER DONE GHJOH

I'm mainly writing it based on killermar,e but it's canon, and Nightmare realizes he's attached to Killer, and starts being a bitch, before *slightly* favoring him, but Killer is pretty certain this is just Nightmare tryna get him to fuck up, to use this aganist him, right? And the Nightmare realises, oh I am a HUGE fuckign asshole.

Don't normally ship Killermare, but the urge to write had gripped me and will not let go

Sup!!! And you’re very welcome <3333

AND FR IT DOESSS!!!

And EEEEEE THANK YOU CANT WAIT ID BE HONOREDTO READ IT :D❤️🌷✨

And omg yesssss, like I always wanted a more realistic depiction of how Killermare would be y’know? It’s absolutely not a relationship that’s all flowers and roses, it can even be right down toxic and/or abusive, full of doubt and obstacles to go through before the two actually settle down chhcch (slow burn relationship fr)

Nightmare being an absolute bitch while still feeling attached??? That’s literally how i see their relationship to be like from Nightmare’s pov hdhdhdh

But ugh Killer’s doubt that Nightmare’s just trying to pin something on him YES, Killer isn’t the most trusting person nor is he trustworthy himself (if we’re talking about Killer during stage 2 at least) so him just not trusting Nightmare’s motives??? Yes sir!!! Tho I’d say that depending on which stage Killer is in, he could feel a bit paranoid (stage 1) or he could just not give a fuck (stage 2) he could alternate between stages even cause of their relationship

And honestly we all need Nightmare to realize how huge of an asshole he can be hdhdhdh

Killermare is a fascinating ship to me to say the least, it’s a complicated relationship that has so much to explore, so even if I don’t really ship it myself i’m not opposed to it by any means, and i do enjoy it even <3333

I just usually prefer platonic relationships cause ugh they mean so much to me and they’re super underrated, that’s why i love to explore Killer’s and Nightmare’s relationship without my art necessarily being killermare, there’s just something special about platonic relationships to me :D

Anyway CANT WAIT FOR THE FIC GDHDHHDHDHD

[borninwinter81]

Velvet ribbon necklaces and chokers

This is one of my favourite ways to make a necklace - extremely quick and simple but I think it looks beautiful. I use velvet ribbon but it would also work with satin ribbon and possibly lace, though that might not be sturdy enough. I personally don't like to use leather or faux leather because it can get very sweaty and uncomfortable, but you can absolutely use that too if you want! Craft shops also sell patterned or embroidered ribbon.

I've even done variants on this which were made from just a long strip of fabric which I hemmed along the edges.

In addition to the ribbon you will need rivets or eyelets, d-rings or o-rings, and heavy snap studs to fasten them.

The pendants in these photos came from various places: the flower cameo was thrifted, the wolfs cross was bought from some alternative shop I don't remember the name of decades ago, the leaf and the large ocean jasper came from an Etsy shop called Enchanted Creations (link here) and the ivy is Alchemy Gothic.

For whatever reason I decided I didn't like the necklaces they came on so I remade them. The pendant parts and chains were attached using jewellery pliers and either jump rings or links of the chain if it was large enough.

Then all you need to do is loop your ribbon through the d-rings and poke a hole through both layers (I have a leather punch I tend to use but you can also use scissors) then secure it with either a rivet or an eyelet. You can buy these online or in craft shops, they're usually very cheap, come in various colours of metal and have instructions for how to put them together. They're fairly self-explanatory - one half on each side of the fabric and hit them with a hammer a few times. If using rivets make sure you put the pieces on the correct sides.

You could also use screw on spikes. Anything that will keep the ends together will work - obviously you could sew them too, but this looks neater (than my hand sewing anyway!) and gives a bit of extra visual interest.

To get the right length of ribbon I just put it around my neck making sure to overlap the ends then add a couple of centimetres extra for the folds. If the ribbon is synthetic (most of the the time they will be) use a lighter to singe the ends slightly. This will cause it to melt a little and prevent fraying. Please be careful when doing this! You don't need to put the ribbon *in* the flame, just close enough to heat it.

For fastenings I always use heavy snap studs. These make the fastening very secure and neat looking - it will lay completely flat to the back of your neck.

These studs come in 4 parts.

Again, double over the ends of the ribbon, poke a hole through both layers, put the correct pieces of the fastening on each side and hit them with a hammer a few times. These can likewise be bought online and come with a tool and instructions for use. The most important thing with these is to make sure all parts are facing the right direction so you can close them properly.

Here are some brief instructions I found online for how to use them.

Again, you don't have to fasten them the way I do, whatever way suits you is fine. Even a safety pin would work!

This basic method can be used to make collars too, I did a cyber collar a while back (full post here)

As I said above you can use any kind of ribbon you like, patterned or plain, or even a long strip of fabric, that's what I did for this collar.

You could cover it with safety pins, buttons, embroidery, fabric paint, whatever you like!

[elucienweekofficial]

Elucien Fanfic Crossword Answer Key- Monsters And Creatures

How did you do? It's our hope through this week of puzzles that folks are able to find an existing fanfiction that speaks to them! Consider these a small masterlist filled with recommendations from the community itself. Below you'll find every fanfiction recommended attached to the author who created it, added in the order they were submitted! Fics were also categorized to their best of our ability. Check them out below!

[Please check all tags before engaging!]

Home Is Where Your Heart Is Set In Stone by @c-e-d-dreamer

“My love.”

Elain jolts at the sound of a voice, at the strange nickname. She whirls around to find a man standing in the shadows just inside the tree line. He’s tall. Even from this distance, Elain can tell he must have over a head on her, and his eyes are pinned solely on her.

Elain has to swallow hard before she’s able to find her voice again. “Hello?”

The man steps forward, into the moonlight, and Elain realizes with a strike of fear that he’s not a man at all. He’s a monster.

Clear Blue Water by @separatist-apologist

In the middle of a storm, Elain Archeron hears a song that pulls her outside. There, laying among the wreckage of the beach, is a dying man who needs to be rescued.

Or is it her who needs to be rescued from the wreckage of her life?

OR: blah blah VANMERMAN blah blah blah

Into the Water by @kingofsummer93

On the morning of her eighteenth birthday Elain wakes with a taste for blood.

Her task is simple. She must take a man's heart, while it still beats in his chest.

Unfortunately for her, Lucien doesn't plan on going down without a fight.

All Over You by @separatist-apologist

Elain Archeron has spent months listening to a stray cat scratching at the back door.

On full moon, she decides to let it in.

Unaware of the monster waiting to claim his mate

Seven Tears for the Sea by @yourstarsmyscars

Elain Archeron has spent years watching the seals that play in the waters along the coast of her village. The oldest legends claim selkies once lived in these waters, but Elain has never considered the possibility until one summer she spots a red seal along the coast.

All The Monsters Come Out At Night by @separatist-apologist

Elain Archeron has been warned not to go into the woods- they're filled with monsters. When the drums begin to call, and her sisters leave without her, Elain has no choice but to follow.

She has no idea what is waiting for her

Out of the Woods by @separatist-apologist

The monsters turned out to be just trees

Elain Archeron has been warned not to go to Autumn. She's been told what sort of monsters lurk just within the woods.

But the magic is calling.

And Elain is far too curious not to answer

Lily In A Twilight Place by @xtaketwox

The Archerons are new to London society. The rumors go that Viscount Archeron brought his daughters to London after the death of their mother in the south of France. Lucien is struck by the beauty of Elain Archeron from the first moment he sees her, but little does he know the Archeron family is hiding a secret that may just get him killed.

Turning Darkness Into Light by @asnowfern

When ghost-seeing Elain moves into the flat Lucien has been haunting, she has only two rules for him: 1. They are not friends 2. He is not allowed to enter her bedroom

This is how Lucien breaks both of them.

I've Given You Sunshine by @the-lonelybarricade

“Good morning,” Elain chirped to the sleeping figure. He didn’t respond, which was no surprise to Elain. She stepped closer. The underbrush hissed beneath her feet, as if warning her not to come any closer. Gradually, the silhouette became more distinguished—the proud nose and the full lips, the long vines of hair that spilled over his shoulders and onto his strong chest. She liked coming here in the mornings, before the light hit, because it was when he looked the most human. When the sun rose, it would illuminate the bark of his skin, the twisted wood of his bicep, the hollow of his just-parted mouth. And she would remember that he was just a tree branch with unnervingly human-like features. - Or; Lucien VanTree

Or; An attempt at a Prythain Little Shop of Horrors AU

What Hand Dare Seize The Fire by @starry-mantle

He gave Elain a smile she might’ve called charming, if not for the fang it revealed, or the hellfire glow rimming his golden eye. “I am here for my witch, and nothing less.”

-

A witch's magic calls to demons, and demons bring destruction. When Elain Archeron is sentenced to burn for the crime of witchcraft, a demon named Lucien saves her from the flames and binds her life to his in an unholy pact.

Elain can accept losing her soul to a demon - she's far more frightened of losing her heart.

Bow Down by @shadowisles-writes

When one of Elain's rituals releases more magic than usual, a much bigger demon than what she has ever protected herself against comes to her door. No amount of hidden traps and talismans can protect her from what he wants to take.

Cursed, Hexed, and Bonded by @thelovelymadone

Elain and Lucien are found to be mates in modern magical society. The thing is, they had a one-night stand with one another and neither wants to admit it was the best night of their life. Now, they gotta work together and figure out: who is trying to steal the sun.

Wonderland by @separatist-apologist

Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?

In a kingdom where a Maiden is forced to be sacrificed to appease the monster in the woods, Elain Archeron is chosen out of spite by her spurned suitor, Graysen. Trapped in a tower with her beast, Elain must unravel if she can truly trust the monster promising not to hurt. She doesn't know he's freed every maiden he's ever been sent...but her? Her, he intends to keep.

[missedditart]

Her dirty paws and furry coat

She ran down the forest slopes

The forest of talking trees

They used to sing about the birds and the bees

Finally I have worked up the courage to share her. Introducing my Lackadaisy oc: Åse, you can call him Ace if you want. I've teased her in a previous post but i've finally gotten around to making her bio card thingy. And as previously mentioned he is an old d&d pc. He tends to show up here and there so this is just one of her many incarnations. 

Art thoughts below

The illustration it is based on this postcard and other Norwegian postcard illustrations depicting people and creatures in red winter hats and clothing. The hat in itself is called a Nisselue. The patterns on her clothes are based on different folk stories/myths. The pattern on the hem of her skirt is based on the children's story called The Foxes Widow and her mittens are based on Kråkevisa/Bonden Og Kråka and her stockings are based on a mythical creature called a Fossegrim. All of them are in a way relevant to her backstory.

The pin is based on a Maiblomst (Mayflower), a paper flower attached to a pin that is sold to raise money for charity originating in Sweden but has later been used in other countries as well. The colors change each year, this one is based on the 1915 version from Norway. 

She grew up near Kapp which is a small town on the edge of the Mjøsa river which is why I chose for her to be depicted near water.

some fun facts

They laugh like a hyena

He has an intense rivalry with crows

She has sleep paralysis

Isn't interested in alcohol but when at parties, she drinks water in a martini glass to feel fancy

He's 163cm tall

Uses she/him pronouns but isn't picky

Anyone is welcome to ask about her if they so wish 🙂

[teresalace]

I won't cry for you, Yandere Tyler Galpin x Female Reader Part 2

Yandere Tyler Galpin x Female Reader Part 2, "I won't cry for you"

Part one: here (PART 1)

• Words: 2358

•Triggers/Warnings: none

•Show: Wednesday (2022) Netflix

💖Author's Note😌: Happy almost Chinese new year everyone! Enjoy! And please remember 😅this story is more of what I imagine the show would be like in season2 but I haven't watched S1! 💖Much love! My Kofi is in my pinned post if you'd like to support me :-D Singapore based writer wo!

As promised, tagging y'all! @taylorsreputationsversion​ and @queen-wolf7577

————

Summary: After successfully relocating the Hyde, Your mother's pet, Laurel Gates (Professor Thornhill), in a nearby town, you had almost not much else to do except to help see to that Tyler Galpin adjusts to his new life and identity. Yet as time goes by, you realized you had a terrifying fondness for his company but that's just because you see him as a wounded stray animal you've adopted. Surely you could overcome this attachment. Maybe. Like mother like daughter. . .

_____

The rest of the first week living with Tyler felt distant and polite, you liked it that way, being able to keep a close eye on his few unusual movements (other than staying cooped up, reading books and whatnot in his assigned room) and overall health in the house.

You'd conclude that he's overall healthy from the three meals he'd eat daily, though mentally you can't say for certain.

There was no need for conversations whenever you crossed paths with him when there wasn't anything to talk about, so in a way you were technically on a short holiday. He was barely an annoyance, always keeping to himself, no complaints whatsoever, had respectable minimal eye-contact with you whenever there's a brief moment of passing between you and him. . .

How nice, like he instinctively knew his place to be submissive. One less problem to deal with.

Until one early morning in the living room, at 7am of your usual waking time, you were surprised to see breakfast for two laid out on the coffee table. Two cups of coffee accompanying their own full plates of steaming hot pancakes– admittedly it was a strange, welcoming sight.

"I- uh- wanted to surprise you."

You whipped around at the sudden voice and observed Tyler standing behind you awkwardly, wearing layers of clothes with big pockets that hid his dangling arms.

So, Galpin made the first move.

You shot a swift glance between him and the breakfast before easing a small smile out of your stiff lips. "consider me surprised, Galpin."

Huh, he usually wouldn't come out of his room at this time. . . (Which was why you chose this time to be busy in doing your other tasks and grocery shopping.) It got you thinking, suspecting him of wanting to gain something from you. Let's hear it first before throwing a dog a bone.

"I'm glad you're awake, uh the pancakes won't get soggy then." He says, tone genuinely relieved. Almost sounding like he was actually glad he didn't have to go up to your room to get you for breakfast. . . Or he was one incredible actor.

Either way, you weren't mad. It was more than interesting living with a former normie. You were glad in a way that he had settled down nicely but it did seem somewhat suspicious. He settled down way too fast- but you'd think you would be desperate to adapt if you were in his shoes and even overwhelmingly grateful to be given assistance.

"After you, Galpin." You gestured towards the food on the coffee table, a low grumbling in your empty stomach urging you to eat already. He quickly protested, "oh n-no, you go first. . ."

You raised an eyebrow, it only took a few more seconds of staring for him to zip up and hesitantly nodding in defeat. He went to take a seat at the coffee table and you followed suit, sitting across from him.

The steam of the rich creamy coffee hit your nostrils the moment you sat down and took a deep breath in. And even though there was barely any movement from infront of you, you carefully sipped the hot coffee. . . Just one drop. Wow.

"This is really good," you admitted outloud, looking into your mocha-coloured coffee, surprising yourself in the process. "I don't think I've had coffee taste this good in years."

A small whoosh of relief released from across you but when you flicked your gaze up, Tyler had already started grabbing his cutlery and wore a bigger smile while cutting through his pancakes. "Glad I have something to bring to the table. I guess working in café wasn't so bad," he finished his sentence by stuffing himself a large bite and chewing with intense urgency.

His attention zeroed in on his food once he saw you begining to eat yours.

Gosh, he must've been starving waiting for you to get out of your room. Not that you felt guilty but for a moment as you stared at him engoring himself with pancakes. . . Your heart sunk a little and pitied him. For only a moment, of course. . .

He made breakfast for you because he felt indebted to you. Simple enough for you to understand and not question.

No wonder he seemed the tiniest, slightest bit on edge around you the past few days and from the corner of your eyes- you'd occasionally catch him watching you subtly while you ate. Maybe he was worried of what you'd say to him.

Like a worried tenant trying to please their unpredictable landlord from kicking them out.

In the dead quiet other than steel clinking and the muffled beeping of cars outside, he must've sensed your blatant stare on him as he shifted in his seat and tried to smile casually. "I forgot to say this but good morning," he greeted, evergreen eyes boring into yours.

You slowly nodded, copying his friendly smile to a tee, "morning."

That was already a huge effort you never expected yourself to make, especially willing without any underlying intention. It's only been a few days since you've adopted– gave a place for him to stay. . . You couldn't possibly be growing an attachment to him.

It can't be possible, you reassured yourself mentally while finishing off the rest of the fluffy pancakes.

You were leaving soon in a week or two anyways, these interactions are temporary and won't even be remembered in a couple of months for you. Good.

"Galpin," you called when he was about to take away your empty place along with his, "thank you. Your pancakes were delicious, so was the coffee. You didn't have to do this."

He shrugged his back at you, putting down the empty dishes in the sink before he turnt on the faucet.

"I can't just sit back and not do anything. You've already done alot for me so. . . " He washed the cups through the running water. "I thought making breakfast for you would help you relax," Tyler said nonchalantly as he washed the rest of the dishes.

Huh, did you seem stressed to him?

A slow smile spread on your face when you looked around the tidy living room, arms crossed. "How nice, thank you, Galpin."

"I also took out the trash. Gotta pull my weight here, right." He chuckled lightly, trying to sound humorous while drying his hands with a hand towel by the kitchen counter.

As much as he's right, you initially prefered being alone in the mornings but without your dear plants near– Tyler soon became a good substitute for some company. . . You really need to take another long hot shower before you begin thinking again.

He stood idle across from you, tucking his hands in an oversized jacket your family member used to wear. (No doubt he found from the closet in his room) "So I guess this is uh, see you later?"

"Sure, see you. Galpin," you nodded, watching him back away and retreating up the stairs quietly with a short glance thrown behind his shoulder at you before disappearing.

Only when the clicking of his door closing echoed through the house were you finally able to fully relax and do the rest of your morning routine. . . .

After much housework and managing some of your mother's leftover papers (on subjects unknown to you), you recalled not having checked if the meat had gone bad, so you did.

Slowly opening the freezer of the fridge did not prepare you enough for the shocking sight of a cold white empty space. How did a dozen of plastic packaged red meat that you just recently ordered a few days ago, become completely gone in no time.

Obvious answer: Tyler Galpin.

You slowly closed the freezer and went to check the trash bin in the kitchen, only to see an empty bin. . . Ah right, Tyler did say he threw the trash away earlier.

The pots and pans are crisp and clean, but since you weren't always at this second house with Tyler– there were many time gaps where he could've cooked or fried the meat. Assuming he cooked it at all.

You rubbed your feet against the floor, sensing no grease nor oil on the smoothe clean surface. He must've found the mop somewhere and cleaned after his cooking. . .

What funny timing. Except that you don't remember reading anything about Hydes craving meat, but could you have misread? Impossible.

You needed some time to think about Tyler's abnormal cravings (and recalling the bloodied state he was in when you discovered him in the woods) he most likely is going through some kind of withdrawal.

Then again, you aren't a monster expert so you need to call someone who is.

So you reached behind you for your phone, secretly hidden in your back pocket but froze in place. Wait what were you thinking, (Name), this is so unnecessary. You've helped him enough, whatever else he goes through he should deal with it. Not you.

Your hand dropped from your back as you continued going about your day in endless amounts of work, peacefully. Or so you convinced yourself.

And for hours long you didn't see Tyler until he came down the stairs suddenly, all jittery and nervous smiles when noticing your stare on him from the couch.

"Afternoon, Galpin." You greeted before looking back down to your work laptop.

"Ye-yeah, good afternoon," he softly said, watching you for a couple of seconds before taking any action.

Him walking towards you in a casual saunter like he had something important to say, opening his mouth before closing it. You glanced up and blinked at him questioningly.

"Um- If it's at all possible. . . Could I talk to my dad? Or just send a letter, something to let him know I'm alive. . ." He asked pleading, heavy toned.

Staring intensely into yours was his forest green eyes shrouded by the shadows of his front curly hair. Eyes full of uncertainty and glimmering hope yet also prepared for the least favourable answer.

So you pulled the laptop closed while maintaining steely eye-contact and asked. "Galpin, Isn't it dangerous to be contacting your father during this time?"

By this time, you meant when the whole town's police force could potentially be on the hunt for him, an escaped murderer.

His eyes shone brighter after hearing you not say no. Tyler then confidently stood firmer, like an opportunist he took what he could get.

"Nothing's gonna happen if we're already out of Jericho," he said it matter-of-factly with a dead serious expression, "the cops don't search anyplace far. . ." Looks like his father must've told him something for his confident to skyrocket in this area.

"I'll see what I can do." You rose from your comfortable seat, "I won't guarantee anything except your safety, remember that, Galpin."

You smoothly maneuvered around a wide-eyed standing Tyler as he tried to speak as you headed up the stairs. Towards your bedroom.

Because somewhere deep inside your wardrobe was a cardboard box full of throwaway phones incase of emergencies. And this wasn't an emergency but a small favour that could lead to a potential disaster if one was careless.

Shaking these useless thoughts out of your head, you took one of the phones and hid the box again.

After going back down to the living room where Tyler was waiting for you, sitting on the couch this time- on the place where you last sat, you just stood Infront of him.

"Your hand, please."

Curious, he held his hand up to you. Only for you to put a black burner phone in it, his thumb accidentally brushing along the side of your hand as you do.

"Smash it or step on it, anything. Do what is necessary to destroy it after your call. Absolutely make sure you get rid of it, your future depends on it." You immediately returned your hand to your side, feeling a small tingle spreading- comfortably.

Too comfortably for your liking.

"Thanks, seriously. I- This means a lot to me," he stuttered, smiling widely, gratefully then stared at the burner phone in his hand in contemplation.

In that smile you almost lost yourself but snapped out of it quickly, he just has a nice smile, that's all.

For a split second it reminded you of your mother's many practiced smiles, generously wide with all her pearly white teeth on display to show how harmless she is. She taught you better than to trust smiley people.

Tyler stood up from the couch and peered into your eyes, breaking your train of thought completely. "I'll see you later then?" He asked softly, the burner phone gripped tightly in his palm.

"Maybe, I'm not sure of my schedule. Another time, Galpin." You shrugged then turned to leave before he could call you.

Now that you think about it, today's been a day full of interactions between Tyler and you. You weren't sure what to feel about it.

So off you went to your room, your mind battling itself the whole way up the stairs. . . As you laid on your bed, your brain alarmed you of what would happen if Tyler were to mess up any one thing.

A clue that'd give away his location. Any word mentioning you, a technical accomplice.

You didn't trust him enough to be helping him at all.

You'd be in big trouble. Worse trouble if the police got involved. . . Mother would find out about the. . . Escaped prisoner? Guest? Visitor? It didn't really matter what to call him except that his existence right now is a secret.

One of your few secrets that had a ticking bomb.

You grabbed your phone from underneath your pillow and dialled a number you hadn't expect yourself to call in months. . . And for the person to answer instantly with a gruffy laugh.

"Well well well, if it isn't the sweet consequence of my actions."

A somber smile lifted on your face at the older voice against your ear. Looks like Tyler won't be the only person calling his father today.

"I need some help."

[yandere-fics]

Wish I had like a real idea, but something smutty with Abigail sounds fun ^^ like a sparring lesson (aka discourage darling to stop being a knight lesson) gone wild or smtn, idk, I'm technically ace

(I am also technically ace, I'm demisexual. I forgot the prompt and wrote Abigail marking the shit out of her darling.)

♡ Abigail Marking Her Darling During A Sparring Session ♡

You despised your boss, it was her fault really. She had been the one to start this feud, you had previously looked up to Dame Parley as much as the next knight and yet the beast always seemed to find some flaw with your stance, the way you swung your sword, the way your living quarters were arranged, anything she could pick apart was a justification for you never receiving knighthood. You understood that the knights of the Parley squad were held to a high standard but this seemed needless. Normal knights who didn't fit the standard were transferred to a lower squad within a few months but you had been within her squad for a few years at this point, with her constantly refusing to transfer you.

Then it was no surprise to anyone when you demanded to spar with her late at night in order to prove to her that you deserved to be a knight. She of course sent everyone away, not wanting anyone to disturb your lovely little date, not that you were aware of those intentions. Still this was the first time you had chosen to be around her, and you'd picked such a romantic time for it. She'd wanted to go easy on you but you were just so cute which lead to the current predicament.

You, panting and flushed, pinned under her after she knocked the sword from your hand and you tried to retrieve it. You really were just too eager to fight her weren't you? Her sweetheart really just looked too perfect like this. That was until you started crying, oh you really were breaking her heart.

"Why do you hate me so much, Dame Parley?" She bit back a shiver as you said you name so sweetly. Normally you said it with such vitriol, but tonight you were just too vulnerable beneath her. Fuck she needed you now.

It came as quite a shock to you when she tossed her sword to the side, engulfing your lips in a scorching kiss, her knee gently rutting against your crotch and her hand grabbing both of your arms and pinning them above your head.

"Mmmh, you taste too good sweetheart, I can't believe I denied myself of this for so long." She looked like she was going to eat you alive as her other hand slowly unbuttoned your uniform shirt, seemingly taking your silent shock as approval of her actions. Her mouth attached itself to your neck like a leech, like she'd die if she didn't leave her mark on you in some way.

"D-dame Parley, what the fuck are you doing?" You could deny that it felt good but this was supposed to be a sparing session to prove your worth. Was this some sort of freaky torture to show you just how far beneath her you were? You could have sworn she hated you.

"Shhh, just let me get my fill, we have hours before anyone wakes up." Yeah that didn't exactly answer your question, though when you stumbled back into your tent in the early morning with shaky knees and a neck covered in proof of her through loving, you realized your boss had completely different intentions for you. Fuck you really should have transferred sooner.

[braveclementine]

I'm Not Okay

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OC Elizabeth Lightwood. I do not condone any copying of this.

"Hey." Sam said, when Stephen finally answered his call. "Where are you right now?"

"I'm just about to pull out of the garage." Stephen answered, slightly lying as he attached the watch to his wrist and looking at himself in the mirror. It was the watch that Sam had given him for his birthday and he treasured it, though he rarely told Sam that. "Do you want me to pick you up."

"I'm already here." Sam answered and now Stephen could hear the sounds of the party behind him. "You know you're the one receiving the award tonight, right? You should be on time to these things."

"I'm the one that tonights for." Stephen smirked as he grabbed his car keys and headed for the garage now. "They can afford to wait for me."

He heard Sam sigh on the other side of the phone and he said, "Cheer up. I'll be there before you know it."

"Drive safe." Sam said in that warning voice of his. Hanging with superheroes was definitely making him goody two shoes.

"I'll do my best." Stephen said. "See you soon."

"Yeah." Sam said and hung up.

Stephen jumped in the car and sped out onto the streets.

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When Stephen woke up, he felt a soft, warm hand on his shoulder. But that was the only warmth. Everything else was either numb or in pain. He could only open one eye and he opened it to see Sam sitting in the chair beside him.

"Hey." Sam's voice was rough and Stephen knew that he'd probably been crying. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay."

He looked at his arms, which were resting in slings. There were needles in his hands and what felt like a thousand stitches. "What d- What did they do?"

"They rushed you in a chopper. But it took a little while to find you." Sam's voice was shaky again. "From what little I understood, the golden hours for nerve damage went by while you were in the car."

"What did they do?" Stephen asked again, his voice croaky. It hurt to talk but he was horrified with how his hands looked. His once perfect hands.

"Eleven stainless steel pins in the bones." Sam finally answered him. "Multiple torn ligaments, severe nerve damage in both hands. You were on the table for e-eleven hours." Sam cleared his throat, looking down so Stephen didn't see the tears that were probably falling from his eyes.

"Look at these fixators."

"No one could have done better."

Stephen groaned in pain, looking over at his soulmate. "I could have done better."

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Sam paced outside the hospital doors, dreading going in. He could hear Stephen behind the door, telling the doctors that they had ruined him. Sam pushed his palms against his eyes. They saved his life. What more could he want?

Sam knew Stephen's career was over, but that was okay. Sam had plenty of money saved up. It wouldn't be enough to keep Stephen's multi-million apartment, but they could get a slightly bigger house than the one Sam was staying in right now. Especially if Sam took care of Stephen's hospital bills with Stephen's money and then took in the rest of Stephen's net worth.

He wished he had thought to control Stephen's money spending better. Watches he didn't need, expensive suits, expensive cars, money blown instead of saved.

And then, Stephen blew more money on an expensive surgery to try and fix his hands. Then money on physical therapy.

Sam felt useless. Stephen wouldn't let him help him. Sam walked in on Stephen trying to shave, before letting the Razor plop into the water, growling in frustration.

"You want me to help?" Sam asked.

"No." Stephen snapped, glaring at him and Sam swallowed thickly. He was done crying over his man every time he hurt him.

And then, Stephen was trying to contact doctors and that was how Sam found him one night. He walked into the loft and saw the computer smashed on the floor with the papers.

"He won't do it." Sam stated.

Stephen shook his head slowly and then stood up angrily. "He's a hack. But there is a new procedure in Tokyo. They culture donor stem cells and then harvesting them and then 3D printing a scaffold. If I could get a loan together-"

"Stephen." Sam said.

"A small loan, just two hundred thousand dollars-"

"Stephen you've always spent money as fast as you could make it." Sam said, trying to reason with him. This was a rabbit hole Stephen was going to drown in. "But now you're spending money you don't even have. I don't have. Maybe it's time to consider stopping."

"No," Stephen dropped the computer and raised his arms. His hands shaking violently and Sam just wanted to take him into his arms and kiss him. "Now is exactly the time not to stop, because, you see! I'm not getting any better." He got to his feet.

"But this isn't medicine anymore." Sam argued. "This is mania. Some things just can't be fixed."

"Life without my work-"

"Is still life. This isn't the end. There are other things that can give your life meaning." Sam protested.

"Like what?" Stephen turned, "Like you?"

Sam felt as though he had been slapped across the face. He wanted to retort. Wanted to demand an apology.

Instead, he turned and tossed his keys on the table, put his hands in the pockets and left, making sure to slam the apartment door behind him

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You were falling asleep at your desk at the new S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. You had been staying up late, working on one of the new training protocols, but you were slacking as you started to fall asleep.

A hand touched your shoulder and you jolted. Steve was there, holding Everleigh in his arms, who was whimpering, clutching Steve's hair tightly in a fist.

"I think she's hungry." Steve said apologetically. "And you should get some sleep."

"Yeah." You yawned. "Thanks Steve. I'm sorry if she was bothering you."

Steve chuckled. "I'll just lock my bedroom door next time."

You giggled and then said, "I don't suppose you want anything to eat as well, do you? I'm hungry and I'll probably make something large anyways cause Tony needs food too."

"Sure, why not." Steve shrugged.

The two of you walked towards the kitchen in silence. You set Everleigh down in her chair in the kitchen which had a booster seat tied down to it so she was at level with the table. She was five now and very nosy, going into every room she could. She also loved eating and she hated sleeping, as all kids seemed to.

"How about home made skyline?" You asked Everleigh in excitement.

"Yes!" She said happily and you looked at Steve. "Do you want yours in a form of spaghetti or hot dogs?"

He looked like a deer in headlights. "What's skyline?"

"It's a meat sauce and you either put it on spaghetti or hot dogs. I prefer spaghetti but she loves it with hot dogs and Tony. . . well he combines the two, the menace he is." You laughed. "Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y. Tony is still awake right? Ask him if he wants Skyline."

"Yes Mrs. Stark." F.R.I.D.A.Y.s voice replied.

"Um I guess the hot dogs." Steve said uncertainly.

You put six hot dogs in a pan to boil and then started boiling a pan of water for your spaghetti. You hummed as you worked, opening up a can of skyline meat sauce to put into another pan and heat that up.

"Mr. Stark says he would love Skyline, Mrs. Stark." F.R.I.D.A.Y.s voice came in. "Also, Mr. Wilson just entered the building, would you like me to let him know where you are?"

"Sure." You said, surprised. Steve looked just as surprised as you. Sam hadn't moved into the building yet, there was some trouble with his soulmate or something like that. A car crash, though he hadn't explained the details. But he had seemed rather upset lately and his training had taken a turn for the worse.

You grabbed hot dog buns for Steve and Everleigh, sliding their hot dogs into each one, before drizzling the sauce over them. You topped them with large amounts of thin shredded cheese and gave them to them.

You put spaghetti in the pan, now that the water was boiling and waited, grabbing a bowl for your own meal. You also grabbed oyster crackers from the cupboard and gave each of them a cup of them to dip into the sauce.

"Napkin Everleigh." You said to the small girl who was messily eating her hot dogs. You cut Tony's hot dogs into pieces to mix with the spaghetti after the noodles were done, dripping the sauce on it and then topping it with cheese. "F.R.I.D.A.Y. let Tony know his food is done."

Sam came into the kitchen as you finished making your bowl of spaghetti. "Hey Sam!" You called over your shoulder, grabbing cups for milk. "Are you hungry-" You cut off as you saw his face.

Steve turned and looked over his shoulder and got to his feet immediately. "Sam? What's wrong?"

You quickly put everything you had in your hands on the table. Everleigh, understanding something was serious, stayed quiet.

Sam sat down heavily in his chair, looking at the table. He cleared his throat. "Stephen. He um, I think. . . I think he rejected me."

You and Steve both froze and then you moved to Sam's side, putting a hesitant hand on his shoulder. "But. . . why? Why would he do that to you?"

"Because he values his work more than me." Sam said thickly. "Said it right to my face. I'm not worth it to him. Wasting money, chasing rabbit holes."

"Oh Sam." You whispered and wrapped your arms around him. Sam hugged you back tightly. "It's going to be okay."

You didn't let go until Sam relaxed against you and only then did you pull away slowly and ask, "Do you want something to eat?"

"Got anything chocolate?" Sam asked, clearing his throat.

You went to the cupboard and brought back chocolate covered pretzels, pouring him a bowl. "Here."

"Can I have some too?" Everleigh asked.

"After you finish your dinner." You said, even as Sam sneaked her one under the table with a smile. You pretended not to notice as she quickly shoved into her mouth and smiled broadly at Sam. Steve covered his own smile with a hand.

"Hey birdbrain." Tony said, walking in. "Hey angel." He kissed the top of Everleighs head. "Cap." He clapped him on the shoulder. "Pumpkin, thank you for the meal." He kissed the top of your head, grabbing his own bowl.

You smiled up at him.

"What are you doing here so late Sam?" Tony asked now.

Sam hesitated and Steve answered for him. "Moving in."

"Nice, I'll have a room ready for you in like, ten minutes." Tony said, pulling out a tablet.

"Thanks." Sam said thickly and Tony looked up to analyze him. Tony looked at you.

'Later' you mouthed at him and he nodded.

"Okay that was really good." Steve said when he finished off his hot dogs.

"The spaghetti is just as good, want some?" You asked, showing him your plate that you were only halfway done with.

"Um no." Tony said in a teasing voice. "No Lady and the Tramp here. Get your own plate ice cube."

You giggled and a small smile came over Steve's face.

"I'll get your plate." You said, getting up and making a bowl for Steve. You pointed to the untouched crackers, "Those are also very good if you dip them in the sauce or even just by themselves."

"I don't really like oysters. Not a huge seafood fan." Steve said, eyeing the crackers warily.

You giggled, Tony let out a guaff, and Sam actually let out a laugh. "Don't worry, they're just crackers. They're only called oyster crackers because of their shape. Go ahead."

Steve popped one in his mouth and then ate the rest of them, a faint blush of embarrassment on his cheeks.

Everleigh was starting to fall asleep and Tony took her off to bed. Sam and Steve said they'd clean up the kitchen, so you wished them a good night, hugging Sam one more time, and then followed after your husband and daughter.

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Sam knocked on Steve's door around two in the morning. He wasn't even sure if the blond super soldier would be up, but he felt so alone. He almost never had to sleep alone, and even if he was sleeping alone, he had always had a conversation with Stephen where they knew they loved each other.

Steve opened the door, looking a little sleepy, but not to bad. "Hey Sam. You want to come in?"

Sam stepped into the bedroom. The room was a little sparse and the bed was completely made. He smiled a little, knowing Steve had probably been asleep on the floor.

He cleared his throat and asked, "I'm not here for like. . . like I. . ." He hesitated and said, "I just wanted to sleep next to each other. But I'm not asking for you to ch-"

"I know." Steve said softly, drawing the covers back. "Go ahead. I'm a pretty peaceful sleeper. I won't kick you in your sleep."

Sam smiled a little, his heart still heavy as he slipped into the bed. Steve's warmth radiated from him so that Sam didn't even have to be touching him to feel it. Sam closed his eyes, feeling the tears coming. He missed Stephen so much, already, it felt like he was being stabbed in the gut with a hot knife.

"I miss him." Sam sobbed.

Steve's strong arms wrapped around Sam's shoulders. Sam expected there to be some sort of sting, something to remind him that he was cheating, but there was nothing. Maybe Stephen really had rejected him completely.

"I know." Steve choked out. He cleared his throat. "I. . . I miss him too. We'll get through this together Sam. I will always be here for you."

Sam closed his eyes again, burying his face into Steve's chest and fell asleep.

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You were in the kitchen, trying to put together a dinner. Sam was attempting to help you. You called out the different spices that you needed and he would find them in the box and hand them to you.

Suddenly, his phone which he had put on the counter started to ring. He flinched when he heard the ring tone.

You looked over at him and saw him just staring at the phone. "You want me to answer that for you?"

Sam blinked and you swiped the phone, putting it on speaker. "Y/N Stark speaking."

"Where's Sam?" The hoarse voice of Sam's soulmate came through the phone. Stephen, his name you remembered.

"He's occupied in training." You lied smoothly.

There was silence on the other side of the phone. "I need to talk to him. I need. . . there are things I need to tell him."

Sam crossed his arms over his chest, his back to the phone. You had no idea if he was crying. You picked up the phone to speak into the phone. "Look. . . I'm pretty close with Sam and he's dang cut up. I know. . . I know we all say things in the heat of the moment. I know that you're going through a life changing moment. It cannot be easy for you to lose your work like that, especially being as successful as you are. But Sam loves you. And speaking as someone who is married to another egotistical, narcissist asshole genius husband, sometimes we- Sam and I- have to overlook some things. However, that being said, Sam loves you."

Sam's shoulders shook and you decided to speed up the conversation. "I'll tell Sam that you called. But I am not going to let him call you. I think both you and him need to work out some things for yourself before you try and be together again. Maybe you can't do everything on your own. I know you can't. But Sam deserves the best and I need you to become the best for him. Okay?"

There was silence and then he said, "There's this place called Kamar-Taj. It's in Tibet. I was. . . apparently they healed someone that had the same nerve damage there. But I have to set out right away. I was. . . I thought. . ." He cleared his throat. "I can make the journey on my own, I was just hoping Sam would come with me."

It was your turn to be silent. "That's not my choice, no matter what. I'll tell Sam after he's done with training and the two of you can work that on your own. Good-bye Stephen. I hope everything works out for the best."

You hung up first and handed the phone to Sam before turning back to the boiling Chili. "Like I said, it's up to you."

Sam hugged you from behind. "You're the best Y/N."

You smiled a little and then swatted at him with the wooden spoon. "I know. Now either help or scoot."

Sam chuckled, flipping the phone in his hand. "I think. . . I think I'll go with him. Maybe a trip together is something we need."

"Okay." You said softly and then gestured to the phone. "But I'd wait a few hours. You're training, remember?"

Sam nodded and then walked out of the kitchen.

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Sam left with Stephen for Kamar-Taj the next day.

"Is he going to be okay?" You asked with a frown as you, Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Pietro, and Clint sat down for dinner. Tony was in his lab and Vision didn't eat.

"I'm sure he will be." Natasha said. "Soulmate relationships are hard, especially when the people in the relationships are complete opposites."

Clint chuckled, "Know how the two of us met?"

"No." You said, looking between Clint and Natasha. "How did you meet?"

"She was still one of the black widows even though she was an animal." Clint explained. "A fox could easily slip in and out of small holes and steal information. And she actually still made a good darn assassin as a fox."

You looked at Nat in surprise who was blushing just a little bit. Then you asked, "What about the soulmate line? The one that would lead you to Clint?"

"Couldn't." Nat explained. "They kept a very good eye on us that were animals. But as Clint got closer, I knew he was getting closer."

"They sent me to assassinate her." Clint chuckled. "And I could tell she wanted out. She pretty much ran into my arms."

You let out a surprised laugh.

"Anyways," Nat smirked, "The point is, soulmate life is hard. Sam and Stephen are more than completely opposites. They're practically on different worlds. But they love each other. And Stephen went through something life-changing. That changes a person. It was natural to lash out, I just wish he hadn't been so harsh with his words."

"So don't worry." Steve said, sounding a little wistful. "Everything will work out."

And everything did.

[himikochan]

take a rest at the bonfire and I’ll refill your estus flasks- Oscar of Bearstora will protect us :)

I made a casual Firekeeper cosplay for C2E2 and decided to crochet an Oscar of Astora cosplay for my little friend- even though I was the one giving out Estus Flasks (Sunny D) he was certainly the big hit 😛

He’s also a backpack- which was great for stashing my phone charger and whatnot 🥰

I made his clothes without a pattern— I basically held an acrylic worsted weight yarn double with a size K hook. I chained enough to go around his neck and safety pinned that where I wanted it to lay. Then I did rows of double crochet, increasing at the center and side seams of his body to follow his tummy. The “trim” is just crocheted through the fabric. The sleeves I did as little tubes that I sewed onto his tunic and I did his little leg armor separately— I plan to make pants for them to attach to. Currently his leg armor is just safety pinned on.

[swampstew]

KillerCook Chapter 10

Welcome to Raven’s Reading Nook - a small corner of this blog dedicated to cozy story times. Join us in the family room as we sit around and browse our phones, and eat some Girl Scout cookies as we begin tonight’s story. Rated Mature for language. Minors DNI

“Almost ready guys?”

Affirmative voices responded to Killer as he tied his apron around his waist, preparing to go live. Wire adjusted the overhead camera mount for angles and fluid movement while Heat used his laptop to monitor and assist with the show’s channel.

“Last run down: we go live, I do my bit, the ingredients are presented, the rest of the crew helps mix, assemble, and decorate, we call in Kid and we start the party. Did I miss anything?”

Blank stares looked back at him, not answering until—

“Where’s your helmet Killer?” Dive pointed to his bare face.

“OH SHIT!”

A light knocking came from the kitchen door and Killer jumped, “NO ONE COME IN HERE! ITS FORBIDDEN!”

Silence took over as the person on the other side of the door didn’t answer or knock again. Instead, something was pressed against the wooden door, and multiple feet could be heard scurrying through the hall and away from the kitchen.

“Who else is in the house?” Killer asked after he quickly counted his crew.

“Distractions for the Boss,” Wire flashed him a thumbs up.

“…Which one of you invited the Straw Hats?”

“Killer its time!” Heat called out a minute before the hour.

“Shit, where’s my helmet?!”

Pomp was closest to the door and cracked it open before fully opening to bring in a box sitting on the floor. Inside, Killer’s helmet. A note attached to the front that read:

Sorry we took it. Wanted to see what it looked like with my hat. Jaggy already hit me and the lady in pink said to apologize. Save me some dessert please. Monkey D. Luffy

“I-whatever. As long as it doesn’t smell weird,” Killer grumbled, tossing the note in the trashcan.

Wire led the countdown, “Going Live in 3, 2, 1,” he mouthed the final number and pointed his finger at the chef to begin.

“Hey everyone! KillerCook here with a special announcement. It’s my #1 taste tester’s birthday! So today me and the crew are working together to make awesome desserts for the man who eats anything and everything!”

The crew walked through the camera’s focus as Killer introduced each one to the audience.

“Everyone is contributing, no spice or egg will be added by the same person as we all work together, quite possibly in peaceful harmony, to make this day as great as possible. As always, the recipes will be pinned to the top for anyone wanting to try it out at home. Keep the tags and stitches coming, I love seeing you all try these dishes and putting your own flair on them!”

Directing the procession with the crew, Killer had them walk in and out of the camera frame showcasing each ingredient as if it were a game show presenting the prizes to be won.

“We’re throwing the Captain a party so we need to make enough desserts for everyone AND him. Now Kid isn’t the type of guy who sticks to most traditions, just a few that he holds close to the heart. Birthday cakes he can go either way. To make things interesting, we’re not doing just One Cake. We’re going to make 3 desserts, and hopefully still have enough to satisfy everyone’s appetite and not leave ANY leftovers.”

Pulling out his tablet device, Killer showed the screen to his followers to share the desserts in mind. The sound of notifications pinging indicated that the poll was popping off. Heat gave Killer an enthusiastic whisper shout and lowered the background music so the audience could hear Killer better.

“I’m hearing a debate has broken out on whether or not two of the desserts are the same. Well kind of yes and no. Choux pastry technically is the branch family that makes both Profiteroles and Cream Puffs, HOWEVER – the difference is the filling, one uses custard and the other uses whipped cream and fruit. So technically different. Yes, I agree that a Chocolate Trifle is the clear ‘birthday cake’ replacement, but like I said, we need enough for everyone and Kid doesn’t love sharing.”

Killer motioned for Gig and UK to bring a massive serving dish into the camera’s focus.

“This is why we had to custom order this bad boy!” using a rag from his apron pocket, Killer wiped some fingerprints from the side of the bowl. “This is a pure crystal trifle bowl that can hold enough servings for 4 Kids! So I think we’ll be good. We’ll assemble the layers last to let the pudding and whipped cream chill for serving.”

The two men brought the bowl to a different area and out of the way as Killer brought out the first group of bakers.

“This is the Trifle Squad. Get to position,” the group composed of Reck, Dive, Jaguar, Pomp, and House moved towards the counter space nearest to the fridge. They began grabbing their ingredients and tools to begin baking when given the sign.

“This is the Cherry Squad, they have the fun bonus of mashing the cherries for our glaze outside. Speaking of, you can go do that now,” Killer pointed off camera. Mosh, Boogie, Quincy, Compo, and Disc J marched to their designation.

“Can’t forget about the [redacted] squad. And if you’ve been wondering about the recent use of censorship lately, well to be honest it’s all on you guys. There’s been an addendum to the social media contract that says we can’t say certain words or risk getting banned. So keep it PG-17!”

Haikei, Emma, Moai, Hop, and Papas made their way to the kitchen island with their respective mixing bowls and ingredients. That left only a few members of the official crew left.

“And last but certainly not least, the Rough Runners. Unlike the name implies, they will be our kitchen coordinators that clean dishes, bring us ingredients or tools we need to each other and from anywhere we keep them. Step up guys,” Killer motioned for the last members to come forward.

Hip, Oscar, Noe, UK, Gig, and Bubblegum stood in a line from descending order as they waved to the camera.

“Bubblegum and Gig also act as bouncers and security on the side and will also be the enforcers tonight as our parties tend to uh, get a little crazy,” Killer waved to the other tallest members of the crew that weren’t Wire.

“With the help of some local friends, the party is being set up in the backyard while we prepare the desserts for the birthday brute. Ideally, we all work in harmony to make the desserts at once. If we can manage that, well let’s just say there’s an underground betting pool that this is all riding on.”

The crew laughed as Killer joined them with his pastry hat adjusted on his helmet. Heat turned up the music playlist and Wire took over directing the live show so the chef could focus all his energy in his kitchen. Every crewmate had their moment of camera time as Wire woved between the bakers, the glazers, the runners, and Heat who entertained the community chatters as he ran polls and answered the text channel to keep the audience engaged.

As Killer prepared the doughs for baking, his commis chefs worked in their respective sections to make the glaze, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, bake the brownies, crush the No-reos, and do everything in between. Any time the groups found themselves with a few minutes to spare, they would huddle around Heat and talk to the audience as Wire filmed it.

“—And that’s cool and all but I wouldn’t mind becoming a tattoo artist, in fact I already do dotwork style but most people prefer other methods so no reason to stay in one lane,” Emma finished the rest of her water and handed the glass to Oscar. He threw her a dirty look before going to the sink.

“User_x58469: is directing this question to Papas: ‘are the tinted sunglasses indoors a statement’?”

“Yeah it’s a statement. A statement that says I need prescription glasses and I have style. [Redacted] off, I’ve got work ta do,” he grumbled, pulling his hoodie over his head and walked to the kitchen.

“He’s sensitive about his eyesight,” Heat tutted at the chat.

“And I’m sensitive about lingerers,” Killer loomed over the sizable group that had crowded around Heat and Wire. “It’s time to do the decorating, give me my show back!”

As the crewmembers ran to their stations, Killer tsked at his technical assistants before taking command of the camera once more.

“We’re in the last stretch! Now we get to the fun part, filling and putting together the layers. For the trifle, we’ll be taking turns layering the cooled pudding and whipped cream, the chopped up brownies, crushed no-reos, and chocolate shavings in the crystal bowl. We’ll also be filling the profiteroles with vanilla custard and drizzling the chocolate sauce on top once all the dough balls are filled. At the same time, we’ll be cutting the other half of the dough balls in half so we can layer the black cherry whipped cream between the two halves and top it off with some powdered sugar and a generous drizzle of black cherry glaze.”

Killer looked at his watch, “We’re making such great time that we’ll actually be done at the time the party starts which is just perfect. I have time for a few questions before I get back to supervising and layering.

“FreeBritney_MS: wants to know how difficult is chiox pastry, and if you need to be an advanced baker to attempt it.”

“Oh this is a myth! Its considered an advanced form of bakery but really all you need is patience and creativity. Most people fail between making the dough just right, or in the double baking process. Common mistakes I see are undercooking the dough, or having the structure fall when baking is done. I would advise working slow to see what your dough needs from you in order to bake exactly what you want. Don’t forget to poke a hole before the second bake, otherwise the inside won’t fully cook and get that flaky crispness its known for.”

Before long, the kitchen was relatively quiet as the music flowed and the crew took their time meticulously decorating each dessert. When they were done, they had created 300 pastries and probably the world’s biggest trifle.

“Without further ado, let’s bring in the man of the hour for his taste testing.”

Killer pressed the button under the counter to signal for Kid to come in. With a final grating of chocolate shavings on the trifle and making sure the sauces and glazes dripped in droolworthy fashion, he pushed a plate of desserts from the main bounty forward and motioned for the crew to move around to still be in the camera’s wide frame shot.

Everyone waited in anticipation as the thudding sound of boots echoed from the hallway. The door was pushed open, revealing a behemoth wearing an outfit fit for the King of Punks.

Kid was dripped out in black, ripped jeans with a mesh tank top that was partially covered by his beloved patched jacket. It had all his favorite bands, his own jolly rogers, and other inside jokes patched on the black dyed denim and spikes that ran down the collar and shoulders. At his waist, a checkered plaid half kilt that shrouded his legs but did not take away from his steel toed Doc Martens. His tufted hair was styled extra pointed, and his signature goggles were gone, in their place a simple paisley bandana keeping his long locks from his face.

Instead of his usual black guyliner, Kid had opted for a dramatic wing effect and complemented the look with a smoked red color that made his eyes glow. He had gone a little heavy on the highlighter dusted across his cheekbones and tip of his nose, but his red lipstick was immaculate as always. His golden piercings shone as if a hundred camera flashes were going off at his every movement.

The pièce de résistance was the massive wreath that rested against chest.

Massive whirls of meringue were piped together side by side to create the wreathe, and inside each of the piped nest shapes, there were tufts of meringue piped inside and on the outer rim of the nest to create a thick chain of meringue gears. The inner circle of the wreath was reinforced with solid layers of meringue to keep the shape stable, and in those flat surfaces, diluted food coloring had been used to paint a watercolor like design. The design looked vaguely like an eastern red dragon encircling the wreath itself. The gears were sprinkled with splashes of silver food coloring and edible gold leaf flakes placed on the outer rims.

A smirk was plastered on Kid’s face as he gently lifted the wreath from his chest, “Jealous of my bling?”

“Wh-what is it?” Dive asked.

Killer walked up to the birthday boy and lightly tapped his finger to the wreath, “It smells and looks like it’s made of meringue.”

“Damn straight it is. Gonna eat it later.”

“Oh that’s really cool, look at the detail,” Wire ran his fingers on the wreath for the camera and pressed too hard on one of the gears causing it to crackle and dent.

“WATCH IT! You break my wreath and I break your face,” Kid snapped, stepping past the curious hands to stand in front of the island countertop.

“It’s sturdy enough which means an expert made this,” Killer scoffed, “It’ll stay together assuming you don’t punch it or tug it.”

“Yeah yeah, what’d you make for me?”

“Excuuuuusssseeee me, Captain,” the chef regained his posture. “Made you this. Happy [redacted] birthday!” he flippantly pointed at the desserts.

“What’re you bitchy about?”

“I thought I was making your birthday dessert.”

“This isn’t dessert, Kill. It’s a tasty treat, from a tasty treat. Drop the dramatics.”

Like a switch had been flipped, Killer straightened his hat and cleared his throat, looking at the camera to continue his script.

“Aye aye Captain,” he said only a little sarcastically. “We present you with profiteroles, cherry cream puffs, and a chocolate trifle. We put together ‘specially for you.”

“Happy birthday captain!” the crew began cheering in the background as Kid smiled and nodded his head at them. He popped a profiterole in his mouth first.

“Oh damn that’s so good! I thought it was going to be cakier but the way it just crumbled and the custard to pastry ratio is just perfect!”

Killer nodded in approval as the others whooped.

Grabbing a napkin in his metal hand, Kid carefully ate the cherry cream puff, careful to not let it drip on his clothes. “I never knew cherry could taste this [redacted] good! The glaze has a tarty aftertaste but it hits so well after the whipped cream and pastry goes down. I really like those, make sure I get more of those.”

“Aye aye,” Killer went to section off a generous portion.

Balancing his mini dessert bowl in his hand, Kid took a precarious bite before a pleased smile spread across his face, “I really thought this would be too sweet but [redacted] [redacted] if that isn’t the best chocolate dessert I’ve ever had. The pudding and whipped cream layers are so light that its easy to just gobble this up. The brownie and no-reos go well with that sweet and salty balance, and just all together like this, I already said it but I’ll say it again, the BEST chocolate dessert, maybe in the history of ever. Great [redacted] job everyone!”

The crew swarmed Kid to individually wish him a happy birthday before the camera could get a clear shot of the Captain again. When they moved to the background and out of the frame, Kid grabbed Killer in a delicate hug that didn’t crush the sugary wreath.

“Thank you brother, it means a lot to me you went through this effort to make me something. You always do but it never ceases to amaze me.”

“Anytime little brother. We’ll always have your back, ride or die for life, we’re the Kid Pirates!”

The sound of howling and whistling overtook the music as the crew cheered for their nakama. They began tossing balloons around the kitchen and Killer took of his chef hat to replace it with a party hat. Suddenly, the sound of a young man’s voice cut through all the yelling.

“IS IT TIME FOR THE CAKE?!”

“Looks like we’re outta time! See you next time when I teach you all how to tackle the dreaded croissant. It’s not that hard, and like everything else I make, slays. This has been Faffaffaffa-Food with Killer.”

Live has ended.

Bonus: The comment section

Prop0$aline: How does a guy get a dessert order like that for my birthday? Asking for me. KillerCook: For a limited time only, I’ll be selling baked goods online! Scream_Maim_Fire: Siiiike, most state laws prohibit the sale of consumable goods. If you drive here that’s a different story. KillerCook: Please do not drive here. CabinHo3: From the bottom of all our hearts, happy birthday Captain!!! PunkNeverDied69: Thanks <3 Iwannabe_wherethepirates_arr: When is recruitment open??? FlamingHot420: Ehh…to be determined. Working on some…roadblocks at the moment.

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[luimagines]

Mafia imagine: Mr. Wiggles

Legend held a small gift bag and he took a breath to let out any nervousness out of him. He seen them nervous about their surroundings and try so hard not to bump into anything all morning and the group so this idea came to him as he walk to the playroom were the child is likely at this time then seeing the playroom door open, legend knock on the door to let them and their wolf know that their not alone now.

Legend: hey kiddo, it's me legend.

The child look up from the floor while they stop moving their hands on a book thats cover in Texture and turn to were they heard legend as wolfie watching from the couch.

Blind child: h-hello legend. How-w is you-ur day?

Legend slow enter the room and made as much small noises as je can yet letting them know were he is at all times. Once he infront of them, he get on his knees while holding the gift infront.

Legend: my day is okay but I got you a gift.

This made the child confused and til their head a bit making their bangs til to one side of their face as legend smile .

Legend: here open the gift.

Legend gently hand the gift bag while he gently guild the tiny blind child hands to the gift bag and help them pull out the stuff elephant at have a few small bells attach with. The bells let put a soft noise that the child ears twitch to hear the sound.

Legend watch them feel the soft stuff animal and the bells too, legend glad he took time on checking the stuff animal and make sure it's safe enough for the child.

Legend: It's a stuffed animal buddy, and it's an elephant .

The child hugged the stuffed animal and looked up to try face legend with a smile. Legend smile again, glad they like it.

Blind child: thank you big brother legend.

The child says with a gentle and happy tone that legend feels all his past worries disappear and he lift his hand up to pat the blind child head.

Legend: no problem buddy, what will you name the stuffed animal?

The child let out a hum thinking of the name til their ears pin up.

Blind child: Mr. Wiggles

(Couldn't thelp it)

Bonus!

Legend yawned as he headed to the kitchen of the base to go get something to drink as he enter the doorway to the kitchen but stop and see the stuffed animal is moving completely on its own and soft bell noises whenever it moves. Legend blink and rub his eyes to hope he's Hallucinating, but mr.wiggles is still moving, even picking up a water bottle and turn to faced the doorway. Legend confused as mr.wiggles walk over til it face legend and it use its trumpet as in tell legend to step aside which legend did as Mr . wiggles walk all the way back to the blind child's room as legend stand there.

Legend: oh shit......that...its.....hope boss never finds out.

Uh-oh.... There is more to Mr. Wiggles than meets the eye. o.o

This is very cute though. XD

Legend would have been very awkward at the beginning, but unable to stand by and do nothing, he goes to get the kid their own toy- making sure that it makes noise since it's not like they'd be able to interact with it visually.

Small fun fact about Mr. Wiggles. I actually thought that it would be really cute if they got a baby toy. I was basing him off of the soft plushies that I see in the baby section but combine it with some other toys I've seen. For example, when my dogs were puppies we got them this little flat, crinkly zebra that has teething nubs for the feet and they loved thrashing him around.

So I thought it would be cute if an elephant had Dumbo sized ears but they were also crinkly. Make it soft enough to hug, firm enough cuddle with and add a bell for further enrichment and now you have Mr. Wiggles. :D