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#which is how i can tell that joke wasn't funny at all
scorndotexe · 6 months
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jokes that aren't funny unless you're in excruciating pain:
my favorite kind of painkiller, the one that doesn't work
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magentagalaxies · 5 months
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i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating
#again i do not have enough performance experiences to make any definitive claims about who ''aubery's audience'' is#but i find it funny that any time i show my aubrey material one-on-one to a queer gen z person#they're always like ''i love it but straight people will definitely hate it or not get it''#and i get the inclination to be like. ''i like this thing so people like me will like this thing''#and cishet society seems so polarized w/r/t queer topics it's like. the assumption makes sense#however. whenever i've done an aubrey performance in front of an audience that's predominantly queer and gen z#i've actually received a primarily negative response!! and somehow straight people have never given me shit for my aubrey material#(''well straight allys don't count'' i told some of my aubrey jokes to a joe rogan dudebro and he enjoyed them)#(which yeah maybe could be a mark against my comedy but i like to think i opened his mind a bit at the very least)#i really want to test my aubrey monologues in front of a primarily gen x/boomer audience#bc so far i only have actual performance experience in front of gen z or millennials#and the older people i've told jokes to individually or shown videos of my stuff have really liked it#luckily paul has said a goal for when i'm in town this summer is to get me to perform my aubrey stuff in as many different places as possib#for both queer audiences and non-queer audiences so i can gauge reactions since i don't want to be confined to one demographic#so i'll get a lot of data points this summer#@ paul get me a performing slot at senior citizen pride lmao these are my people#(shoutout to paul going ''jess stop collecting the old homos!'' last time i was in town)#(and when i imitated him and was like ''old gay men are not your pokemon!'' bellini was like ''ok but they may be your audience'')#also one data point i really want to see the variation on is how my one specific joke plays in these different demographics#bc i have a joke that like. it's literally not even about AIDS and doesn't punch down at all#i literally say ''if you're gay and over the age of 50 you could violate the geneva convention and i'd still be like support our troops''#like obviously being like ''you have been through hell so i will let you get away with literal war crimes you deserve ultimate immunity''#BUT. in the line right before the quote i use the phrase ''AIDS generation'' not as a derogatory term but being like.#this horrible thing impacted the entire generation y'know? and bellini and scott and their friends call themselves that it's just the term#but when i said the phrase ''AIDS generation'' in front of my gen z audience i heard gasps and felt like they all hated me#and when i did the same line in front of millennials it wasn't quite as striking but their eyes did widen#like i was suddenly an ''edgy comedian''. but like this is a part of our history and it does inform the story i'm telling#the story i'm telling is comedic but it's grounded in this real world context#and i'm like. @ the audience who was offended: when was the last time any of y'all spoke to a gay man over the age of 50#bc bellini loves that section of the monologue and was offended that people would even take offense to that phrase
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r3ynah · 8 months
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I just like the idea of Red hood having a medic, that always finds him whenever and wherever.
Like my boy danny, can and will go to different measures, so he can just find the boss of the crime alley alive and well.
Getting hurt? No you aren't, patched him up and forcefully tucked him into bed with a kiss, Getting depressed? No you aren't, Wrapped him in a blanket and just let him read his novels all day and feeding him, Getting kidnap? No you aren't, Cue the corrupted video of Danny breaking in the kidnapper's lair and just freeing Red hood, No blood was shed that night, well not from Red hood that is.
Danny was something else Red hood will tell you if you ever bring up his Medic into a conversation, he would stare at the man with heart eyes as he accompanied him to do random check ups on people under Red hood's care in his civilian persona. Danny may seem weak and brittle but he can give a punch if he really wanted to, He was mysterious but at the same time so open.
Danny was prideful as he wore the medal of being the only one that knows Red hood's real apartment, and the only one that could break in and enter without getting his presence known, just to make sure the crime lord was sleeping and eating properly.
Red hood practically made a joke out of this and would always tell everyone that his medic will be mad, if he isn't in bed by curfew, and he needed to be back at his house by 10:00 sharp or he'll get dragged and thrown, who knew the all so scary crime lord had a bedtime, criminals and civilians often leave him be when the clock strikes 9:50 pm afraid of enraging the meta medic.
__
"I am telling you B, I can't do that right now, its almost my curfew." Red hood sighed in frustration, he was currently standing in the middle of the bat cave, ready to run if batman tried to talk again.
"This is an important, case Hood, and it requires your participation" Batman stood still, face devoid of any emotions " Afterall it has something to do, with crime alley, there has been a meta spotted, and its creating havoc all around the place."
Jason, blinked, blinked twice, then thrice
"Is that it?"
"Jason, can't you see that this person's dangerous, they had already committed several crimes of arson, assault, and destruction of property, this person is abusing it's powers."
"No im not." An offended voice, called out from the side. all head turned towards the source of the voice, only to be greeted by 6'1 tall boy, who had black hair and blue eyes, and looked just round in his younger adult years. "In my defense they deserved it, won't give me a discount when i literally had a coupon." he rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Who are you?" Batman asked, his guard up "And how did you get in here?"
"Red hood's medic and the meta you've labeling as dangerous, nice to meet you, and it wasn't that hard to spot this lair if you have x-ray vision" Danny greeted happily offering a handshake, which the dark knight didn't take, Danny retreated his hand in awkward silence.
"That was so sad" Jason cackled, as he pointed at Danny who gave him the middle finger.
"Shut, Its 10:30 pm, your bedtime was like 15 minutes ago, you don't get to talk until you're taller than me." Danny pointed at him.
"Fucking funny, im laughing" Sarcasm was laced in Jason's tone as he glared at Danny, before giving a sigh. "10:30 already shit, time does fly fast, when you're fighting a man in a furry costume" Red hood stated, as he walked towards Danny who only rolled his eyes.
"Bye B, i hope to not see you anytime this week or the next week." He nonchalantly waved bye to the older male, while walking towards his medic.
he turned his head to meet Danny's gaze, then smacked his arm making the man stumble. "Come on, now boss man do your thing"
Danny gave him, a glare before shoving him playfully, he then turned to look at empty air and practically ripped out a dimensional portal out of it, and pushed Jason in it who tripped.
"Bye Mr.Batman, it was nice meeting you" Danny bid farewell as he closed the portal on the Man who looked like he can use a break.
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suncoved · 1 year
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STOP IT RAFE, YOU'RE BEING MEAN! — RAFE CAMERON
pairing; bestfriend!rafe cameron x fem!reader
summary; rafe has a strict rule that if you ever leave anywhere, you tell him. and when you break that rule, he goes ballistic (bsf!rafe cameron x reader)
warnings ; angst! verbal fighting, angry!rafe, kinda mean rafe, theyre both annoyingly oblivious.. warning this did not turn out how i planned it to be but im also not mad at it, idkkkk
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to say you were bored was an understatement.
it was a regular rowdy saturday night in the outerbanks, this nights party being at a random kooks house on the figure eight whose name you couldn't quite remember
you were nursing a forgotten red solo cup of punch in your hand, crowd-watching to pass the time.
it wasn't normal that rafe actually succeeded in convincing you to come to these things. because as much as you liked chatting with spoiled self-absorbed kooks over disgustingly sweet punch, you'd rather stay cuddled up in your fluffy pyjamas and watch sappy romcoms on rafe's couch.
but nevertheless, here you were. dreading every decision you had ever made up to that point as you watched rafe from across the room. a blonde kook girl climbing over him and straddling his hips, sitting on his lap as he smirked.
you knew you really had no right being mad at him because you weren’t dating.
but from the start of your more than 10 year friendship, rafe made it clear that you were and always will be his.
so why didn’t that rule go both ways?
with all the thoughts bouncing around in your head, you failed to hear a certain blonde pouges voice echo around you.
you snapped out of your state, consciousness returning to your mind as a hand was waved repeatedly in your face.
“hey! you there princess?” a smile adorned the boys face, a ratty snapback placed backwards on his blonde hair.
“yeah, jj. right here” you joked, smiling brightly back at him as you brought your cup up to your lips.
“thought we lost you there for a bit princess? what’d you doing standing here all alone?” jj asked, surprised to see your constant kook king shadow nowhere to be seen.
“just people watching, the usual. where’s kie?” you quickly changed the subject, wanting anything to get your mind off of rafe.
“around here somewhere i hope. gonna’ try to round everyone up to we can get outta here. early morning for us cut goers tomorrow, fish to catch and things to steal” you giggled at his joke, earning an even wider grin on his face.
you always liked jj. you thought he was funny, and he was the most loyal person to his friends that you knew. and despite his manic tendencies, you trusted him.
“have a nice night j. drive safe!” you said, watching him wink at you before he disappeared into the crowd.
with jj gone, you were left to your own thoughts agian, which was never a good thing.
you glanced over again at rafe sitting comfortably on the couch on the deck. the light from inside illuminating his face as he leaned over to the table, picking up a small bag of white powder and handing it to a random touran.
you bit your lip as you noticed the same blonde from before clinging to his side, rafe seeming unbothered but making no move to push her off.
god, you couldn’t even imagine how rafe would react if he saw you speaking to jj earlier. so why is it that he can literally let a girl dry hump him in the middle of a party and you shouldn’t care?
you didn’t know why you cared though, because rafe is you best friend, nothing more.
right?
you didn’t have time to think about that right now though, you just needed to get the fuck out of this party right now or you were gonna explode.
an idea clicked in your brain and jj dragged a drunk john b towards the entrance of the house, kiara and pope following quickly behind.
you decided that this was now or never, placing your red solo cup onto a random table as you walked towards them.
“hey jj!” you called out, his head immediately snapping towards you. “you think you could give me a ride home?”
it was nearly 30 minutes later that rafe noticed you were no longer in your spot in corner of the house. business was coming to a halt as he sold his last few grams of cocaine, a heavy wad of cash safely resting in his back pocket.
his eyes scanned the crowd for your face, but you were no where to be seen.
and rafe was starting to freak the fuck out.
he knew you wouldn’t go upstairs to any bedrooms, or go out for an impulse swim in the pool. and he knew most of all that you wouldn’t just leave without telling him, and the notification box in his voice remained empty from your contact.
he ran his hand roughly through his hair, pulling aggressively at the roots and cussing to himself frustrated.
his eyes widened as he saw your friend in the crowd, interrupting what ever useless conversation she was having, because until he knew you were safe, nothing was more important.
he asked rudely where you were, watching as her face morphed into shock that rafe was talking to her. because well, if it’s not plotting on the pouges or selling drugs, rafe doesn’t interact with anyone but you or his friends.
“i-i im not sure. i saw her leave like a bit less than half an hour ago. i thought she told you, she always does”
rafe clenched his jaw, hundreds and thousands of thoughts running through his head. “was she alone?”
“n-no. she was with that jj guy and his friends” your friend murmured, nervous she was ratting you out to the scariest guy in the whole of kildare.
it was safe to say that rafe was fucking pissed.
it took him less than a few seconds to put his keys into the ignition of his jeep and drive illegally fast to your house. you liked to piss him off often when you were in a mood, but never with your safety.
rafe never fucked with your safety, ever.
he murmured venomous cusses to himself and he walked towards your house, the pebbles from your mothers perfect drive way crunching under his feet as he speed to your door.
he made a beeline to the entrance of your home, the white arches welcoming and the doorway dimly lit by the porch lights.
he planted his feet straight on the 'welcome home' door mat, lifting his balled fist up to the door and sending booming knocks to the wood panel.
his knuckles were white as he clenched his fists so hard together there was sure to be crimson-red crescent indents from his fingernails. he was fuming.
the click of the lock releasing from the door snapped him out of his thoughts, the door handle turning and the lobby of the inside of your house quickly coming into view.
he locked eyes with your figure immediately, a pink fluffy towel in your hand as you dried your hair. you were only wearing a pair of long socks and rafes shirt which reached more than halfway down your thighs, your face bare of makeup.
you jumped as you saw the look on his face, an anger prevalent in his stare that you had never seen directed at you. fuck. you were in some deep shit.
you parted your lips to speak, but nothing seemed to come out. for the first time in your life, you were scared of rafe. not that he was going to harm you physically, no, never that.
but you knew how much he cared about you and your safety. you just wished he cared that much about your feelings. you wanted him to see that.
"rafe" you said, your voice coming out as a whisper as you watch the lines on his forehead crease together as thousands of thoughts ran through his head.
"what the fuck were you thinking?" he spat as he pushed you as softly as he could into the house so he could close the door, worried the cold of the night was going to make you shiver.
you didn't have time to answer before he started again, running a hand roughly through his hair as he huffed. "you just left? you fucking left a party at night without even texting me, and you let that fucking pouge drive you home!"
you rolled your eyes at the last statement, this was all about jj? "so that's all you care about? me going home with a boy i've known since third grade who just so happens to live on the cut? you don't give a shit about me, you just care about this stupid kook pouge rivalry!"
"don't say what you know isn't true ma. you know i care about you more than i care about myself." he stated, nearly all the anger in him draining out as he saw your eyes begin to fill with tears. he couldn't handle seeing you cry.
"how do i know you care about me rafe? because you don't seem to show it." you sighed pushing yourself as far away from him as you could, your back pushing up against the wall.
"don't fucking say to me y/n. i've loved you from the moment i met you." you finally stopped looking at the floor, lifting your chin so you made eye contact with him.
"stop it rafe, you're being mean" you whispered, mostly to yourself more than rafe. you couldn't listen to him say how much he loved and cared about you for one more second. not when you still had the picture of him being essentially dry-humped in the middle of a party by a girl you didn't even know.
"ma i love you. you know that. you're my world, my favourite girl. why are you fighting this?" rafe said, trying to hold you wrist in his hand before you quickly pulled it away.
"bec-because you can't just say all this then turn around and have make outs with other girls right in front of me. it-its not fair." you spoke, the tears finally making their way down your cheeks in steady streams.
rafe physically flinched at your statement, his palms getting sweaty and his heart rate increasing into rapid beats. was he actually going to admit his love for you right now, like this?
"what are you saying y/n?" he asked, his voice cracking as his face fell. his mind racing with how many outcomes could come out of this conversation.
"that i love you, you idiot!"
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sanguineterrain · 6 months
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Hi Sanne! I'm not sure if requests are open, but if you're up to it I'd like to request red hood x reporter! Maybe reporter reader is getting too close to a case and is starting to become a target and hood takes her protection into his own hands? ((Including lots of midnight rendezvous and rooftop bump ins))
i love this prompt sm! i've been thinking about a reporter reader ever since i read task force z :) thanks for requesting!
jason todd x gn!reporter!reader. tw: reader is attacked (but they're okay), guns, violence, fighting, jason being both a force to be reckoned with and a big softie. 2.5k words
****
"I don't need protection."
The Red Hood crosses his arms. You cross yours right back.
"Yes, you do," he says.
"No, I don't. I've lived in Gotham my whole life. I can take care of myself."
"Living around and being in the thick of violence are very different. You're already chasing this story; they will come after you."
And what a story it is. The story of the decade, at the very least. A task force of formerly-dead Arkham patients wielded against Gotham by a mysterious benefactor.
It's terrifying. It's dangerous. It's sure to win you your first Pulitzer.
And it all means absolutely nothing if the Red Hood keeps wrapping you in red tape.
Your jaw ticks. "This is my story, Hood. You can't turn it in, so I will. And I won't be scared off by some slimeball."
"Oh, please. You wouldn't even have known about this story if it wasn't for me, smarty."
Smarty. His favorite moniker for you because, according to him, you think you know everything.
Working with the Red Hood has been an unfortunate side effect of chasing your prize-winning story. Not only is he wanted in twenty-six countries (you Googled it) and is a ruthless crime lord (supposedly formerly, but you're doubtful), but worst of all, he's got an attitude to match yours.
He's also built like a tank, which is why you can't just. Outrun him.
"I can't just not publish the story," you say.
"I don't want to stop you from publishing the story. Hence the protection."
"I can't afford a bodyguard."
"Well, it's a good thing I already paid my rent this month."
You scoff. "The Gotham Gazette has a strict 'no armed and dangerous' policy. I'm afraid we all have to leave our gun-toting vigilantes at home."
You open the driver's door of your car, ready to end the conversation here and now. Hood calmly closes the door with his hip and leans.
You glare. "Get off of my car."
"Fact." He holds up a finger. "These kinds of people always strike before the story comes out. They know you're scared and stressed, and they wanna do it before the story gets out. Otherwise, it's obvious who killed who."
"And where did you read this fact? Crime Lord's Digest? We don't even know if they know I'm the reporter who broke into the lab."
"Listen, smarty, I've been in this game a lot longer than you. I know how they operate," he says, finally getting off of your car, only to lean on the hood. Jerk. "It's only a matter of time before whoever's behind this snuffs you out."
"I am not letting a wanted criminal nest in my apartment!"
"That's why I'd be there."
"I was talking about you, Hood."
"Funny."
"I'm not joking. Look, I appreciate your... help." You try not to show your exasperation. "But there's no way I'm inviting you over to my apartment. That'll set off more alarms. If anything happens, I'll call you. Until then, stay away. Deal?"
Hood looks you over.
"Hm. You're awfully comfortable with giving me orders, smarty."
Your adrenaline spikes for a second. But it quickly calms. You've worked with Hood for a month now. Sure, you were petrified the first week, but it quickly dissipated. You've fallen into an odd camaraderie with him.
It's actually kind of nice, having him on your side. No one at the Gazette gives you the time of day. You've become used to having a partner. Not that you'd ever tell him that.
"You take orders so well, I can't help but dole them out," you say, only a little smirky.
"Watch it," Hood rumbles, only half-serious. Probably.
You beam and wrench open your car door, sliding into the seat.
"See?" you say, turning the ignition. "No snipers waiting to take me out. I'll be fine."
He shakes his head and slides off the hood. "Ten bucks says they'll try by the end of the week."
You close your door. "You're on."
****
As it turns out, Hood doesn't need the end of the week to earn his tenner. Trouble breaks down your door the very same night.
You're on your couch with some well-earned Lebanese takeout when your door is ripped off of your hinges. You shoot up from the couch, chest immediately tight.
Your assailant is masked and isn't that typical, giving masked men everywhere a bad name.
You run to the kitchen, hoping you can grab a knife. But you're grabbed before you can get there. You slip on the carpet and trip further into your assailant's arms.
"Keep still so I won't make a mess," is all he says.
You start screaming. He covers your mouth and you bite his hand. That earns you a thump on your cheek, so hard your vision blurs.
Bang!
You freeze, expecting the warm drip of blood and the excruciating pain to accompany it. Instead, your assailant falls to the floor, clutching his ribs. You stumble backwards and see Hood at your door, gun still aimed. He stalks over and kicks the assailant in the chest as he does. The assailant groans.
"You okay?"
You're still staring at the man who very nearly killed you a minute ago. Blood roars in your ears. You think you might be close to fainting.
"Hey." Big, gloved hands hold your face. You flinch and hold the owner's wrists. Hood comes into view once more.
"Are you okay?" he asks firmly. "Look at me, look at me, sweet. Breathe. 'S okay. Does anything hurt? Did he—"
Hood cuts himself off as he touches your cheek, where you were hit. He lightly runs a thumb over what is probably a budding bruise.
Hood lets you go and whirls onto your attacker. He hauls him up and presses a gun to his stomach.
"Go ahead, shoot me!" the attacker shouts.
"If I shoot you, it won't be out of mercy. You won't get a quick death. You don't deserve it," Hood snarls, and you suddenly remember all of your good reasons for fearing the Red Hood.
"I ain't telling ya shit!"
"I don't expect you to," Hood says, and fires again.
The man crumples to the ground, but he's clearly still breathing. Still alive. Hood drags him to the door by his collar.
"You go back to your boss. And you tell 'em that they're fucking with the Red Hood now. And, in case I'm not being perfectly fucking clear through all that blood loss—" Hood grabs the man by his hair and wrenches his head back. "If you come for my reporter again, you'll wish I was kind enough to put a bullet in your head."
Hood hauls your attacker outside. You hear a car start a minute later, and it tears down the street.
You look at your guardian angel, spattered in blood.
Not nearly as much blood as I expected, you think manically.
Your body aches and shakes with adrenaline. You can't even get enough control to move to the couch.
"How–how did you get here so fast?" you ask, staring at your now cracked coffee table.
"I've been monitoring your apartment since you got home. One of the traffic cameras picked up a stolen vehicle turning onto your block, so I came here."
You look at Hood. He seems very collected, all things considered.
"You—how did you find my apartment? Have you been stalking me?"
"Please. Lend me a little credit, smarty. I don't need to stalk you to find where you live," he says, holstering his gun.
"Are you insane?!" you burst. "That is such a gross invasion of privacy! What the hell is wrong with you?"
Hood looks at you.
"What's wrong with me is I just saved your life," he says evenly. "And on that note, you owe me ten bucks. Maybe even fifteen, considering it took less than a day for them to do exactly what I said they would."
Your lip wobbles. You don't know what triggers it; maybe it's your scratched up door or torn sofa or the fact that the Red Hood is in your living room right now with blood on his suit.
The tears form quickly. You can't stop them.
You cover your face but a sob claws out of your throat. Soon, you fall into big, heaving cries.
"Whoa, hey." The floorboards creak under Hood's unsure footsteps. "Hey, I didn't mean that. Shit. I was just kidding about the bet part. Aw, don't cry, smarty."
A hand lightly touches your shoulder. You lean in, but don't dare to initiate more contact. So Hood eases you into a side hug, awkwardly patting your other arm. He's extremely warm and solid with muscle, but his chest is soft enough to rest your head on. He unclips his holster so it doesn't dig into your body.
"I was just kidding," Hood says quietly in your ear. He rubs your arm. "'M sorry. Didn't mean to make y'cry."
You sniff and shake your head. "No, it–it's not that, I'm just—God, I'm t-terrified, Hood. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? They're gonna kill me! I'm gonna die before I win my first Pulitzer!"
You try to suck in deep breath but it's not working. Hood leads your unsteady feet to the couch. You sit, fingers gripping his jacket. Hood carefully loosens your grip.
"They're not gonna kill ya, smarty. I won't let 'em. C'mon, let's have a seat. Where's your kitchen?"
You point, lashes still thick with tears. Hood leaves and returns shortly. A glass of water is held to your lips. You drink it, breathing stilted.
"'S okay. Take it easy. Breathe. That's right."
You swallow half of the water, and he sets the glass down on the coffee table. Hood hands you a wad of tissues.
"This is pathetic," you say, wiping your tears. "Can't believe I'm being nursed by the Red Hood."
"I think nursed is a strong word. But it's more than I usually do for my informants. Then again, they don't usually burst into tears."
"Don't make fun of me. I'm fragile."
"I wasn't making fun of you," Hood says, gentler than you've ever heard him. He puts the tissues aside and rests a hand on your shoulder. You turn into it, appreciative of the weight. "You handled this better than most people would. You didn't even pass out. Hell, I've passed out."
You're sure that Hood is leaving out important details behind that anecdote, like fighting off a hundred men or being swallowed by a whale beforehand. You're grateful nonetheless.
You turn to him, fresh tears in your eyes. "They're gonna kill me, Red."
He shakes his head. "No. Listen to me. Nobody is gonna do anything to you, okay? I'm not gonna let 'em hurt you, smarty pie."
"That's an impossible promise," you say. "One of these days, something will happen. You can't be everywhere at once. Especially not while I'm at home."
Hood tilts his head. "Well..."
"Well, what?"
He rubs his throat. An old injury, he'd once told you. The pain flares up sometimes.
"I could call in a favor. Get you into a safehouse."
"You would do that for me?" you ask. You probably shouldn't ask. Shouldn't look a generous vigilante in the mouth. But you can't help it.
"I can't very well publish the story myself, can I?"
You shrug. "I doubt that. You have your ways. Once you have the evidence, you don't need me."
"That's not true," Hood says fiercely. "I do need you."
Your eyes widen. Hood fumbles for a moment.
"That—I mean for the case. Obviously. I don't have any journalistic links besides you. And I wouldn't want the story to fall into the wrong hands."
"Oh." You have a strong urge to wrap your arms around him. Weird. "Well, um, thank you. I appreciate it."
"Don't thank me yet. It'll take me a few days to get the safehouse," he says.
You deflate. "Oh. So I have to stay here until then?"
Hood is quiet for a long time. So long, you briefly revisit your original theory that the Red Hood is actually an AI remotely controlled by a billionaire.
"Hood?"
You reach to touch him. He flinches, a tiny movement. You immediately draw back.
Nope. Still a man.
"Sorry," he says, hand slipping from your shoulder. "I was, uh, going over options. No, your place is toast until we find whoever's behind this. But, um, it would be possible for you to—if you want to, 'cause if you don't, y'know, I understand, but I—it would be doable for you to, uh, stay with me. Until I get the safehouse."
"Stay... in your apartment?"
"'S not far from here. And it's a hell of a lot better protected than your place. And, y'know, I'd be there most of the time, so like..." Hood clears his throat. "Uh, yeah. It'd be safe. I promise."
"I wouldn't want to impose," you say, nervously scratching your arm.
"Mm. If you're scared of staying with me, y'can just say so. I won't take it personal."
He does kind of sound like he's taking it personally.
"No, Hood, it's not that. I don't... I'm not afraid of you. That, uh, went away a while back," you say. "I just... I don't want to burden you. After all, it's your space."
He makes a sound that tells you he's rolling his eyes behind his helmet.
"Saving your life is important, smarty. Why you don't think so, I'll never know."
You make a soft, pleased sound. "Got a real bleeding heart there, Red."
He sighs. "Yeah. I'm working on it."
You grin. "Thank you for rescuing me."
"Part of the job. If you don't wanna stay with me, I could..." Hood hesitates. "With your permission... I could get the Bats involved. Ask one of them to house you."
"You mean Batman?"
Hood grunts. "Preferably anyone but him, but yeah, if it comes to that. He'll probably get involved anyway. Fuckin' busybody."
"The Bats would protect me? But they don't know me."
"Don't matter. If I asked them to, they would. If that's something you want."
You think. Is it something you want?
Sure, any reasonable person would prefer Nightwing or Batman to protect them.
"I don't want to stay with them," you say. "I'd rather stay with you."
He jerks like you've told him the sky is falling.
"You do?" he asks.
"Well, yeah. I know you, Red. And I know you'll keep me safe."
"At any cost," he says.
That simultaneously frightens and thrills you.
"Then I'd like to go home with you," you say. "If you'll have me."
"'Course, smarty. Anything to keep you safe. Go pack some stuff. I'll be out here. You're okay?"
"I'm okay." You stand and turn before he can see what he does to you.
Yes, it's an odd thing, being partners with the Red Hood.
You're starting to fear that you can't have it any other way.
(pt 2)
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dat1angel · 1 year
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Danny the tiktok star
DPxDC au
So Danny, as any high school teen would do, makes videos on the latest video sharing social media site. In this case that's tiktok, although if we look at the time that Danny Phantom came out Vine might be more appropriate...
Either way, he makes silly little videos that range from funny jokes, A Day in the Life at Casper High, Space Fact Friday, POV: You live in Amity Park, roasting whatever ghost happens to be attacking that day, ect. He gains a small following of people who like his content but it's nowhere near being able at call himself tiktok famous. Until one post...
"Hello, my name is Danny, and this is my Official Application for Bruce Wayne to adopt me"
He jokes about how he is a young teen male with black hair, blue eyes, and a questionable home life which makes him the perfect candidate for a Bruce Wayne adoptee. The video goes viral so Danny leans into the bit and starts making more of that content. Photoshoping myself into a Wayne family photo, What I would wear to a Wayne gala, Taking a 'Which Wayne Are You' quiz.
When the Wayne kids find his account they think it's hilarious and keep an eye for new posts from him. One day Tim is stuck in a boring WE meeting so when he gets a notification that Danny posted a new video he will gladly take the distraction. He wasn't expect what he would find...
The video opens with the camera facing Danny, but he's not in any of his usual filming locations. It's hard to tell what exactly is happening around him but there's shouting in the distance and the sound of sirens. In fact, it looks as if Danny is leaning against an ambulance. Danny looks unusually pale and has what looks like a shock blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The camera is shakey and when he speaks his voice comes out weak.
"Hey guys... It's Danny. You know how I joke a lot about being adopted by Bruce Wayne?..."
Danny pauses and takes a shakey breath. It seems like he loses his grip on the phone for a moment because the camera fumbles before being held upright again. It's not a great view, but viewers can catch a glimpse of a destroyed building in the background, firefighters still working to get all the flames doused. When Danny starts speaking again he seems to choke on the words.
"W-Well, something happened and.. I'm k-kinda and orphan now? So uh..." Danny gives a small sad sounding chuckle that fades into a light cough, "this is my official application for Bruce Wayne to adopt me. Internet, do your thing..."
The video ends.
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lcriedlastnight · 2 months
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Friends to lovers with Lando
"I want to be more than friends." "Best friends?" "Stop joking for once! omg."
yes i love this idea!
tw: fem!reader, kind goofy lando idk bro, lmk if you want me to add anything. the lack is sleep i get is evident in this one chat.
w/c: 1k
lando had not been a close friend of yours for long. you had both just been mutual friends. one of your friends knew one of his and that had caused you both to meet up every now and then during the group hangouts. you had both gotten close after one night at the club.
you were in no way, shape or form a 'party girl', the complete opposite of lando, however when he seen you sitting by yourself, sipping on your drink he just had to come over and make conversation. you two had never really spoken much so you were pretty surprised to see the tipsy boy saunter over with a drink in hand for you.
"hey. you looked pretty lonely over here by yourself so i thought i'd come and keep you company."
from then on the two of you just continued to get closer and closer until you both had not gone a day in the past three months without talking to each other in some way.
obviously with lando travelling all around the globe for races, it made it hard to see each other often but you found yourself falling asleep to lando's rants over facetime as he was getting ready for whatever he had in store that weekend. sometimes the time differences were that big that it was really the only time you both got to talk to each other. you hated every time you had fell asleep but lando never held it against you.
this was one of those times where the time zones were only an hour apart, him being an hour ahead. he was already laying in his hotel bed, shirt off (which you did not think was allowed but whatever) and a sleepy grin on his face. he was so tired from qualifying today but he was that tired it made him giggly. it was heaven in your eyes.
"osc definitely wants to meet you. i told him you were my best friend and he was surprised that you even wanted to know me at all. he says i'm too annoying." he rolls his eyes as recalls his conversation about you with his teammate at dinner that night.
it made you sick when you heard him call you his best friend. the boy was not wrong. you were his best friend and he was yours but you could not help yourself from longing for more. you cannot even remember when you fell for him but how could you not? he was such a sweetheart and it felt wrong wanting him in any other way. in your mind that had told you that you were both meant to be but your friends had told you countless times that you were delusional.
"well you are annoying. he wasn't wrong." you respond with a straight face. "i'd love to meet him though. i can give him some tips on how to deal with you."
lando groans through the phone and it in turn makes you laugh as you shuffle to get into a better position in your bed.
"is that my hoodie?" lando asks as he sees a peak of the clothing from underneath the duvet cover. you hide your blush but dropping your phone so it was facing the ceiling instead. "no."
lando snickers at your response. "it so is. do you miss me that much? that's so funny!"
you do not know what changed in your brain but you just knew you had to tell him how you felt right there and then. your heart started pounding and your felt your palms sweat. you tried to keep yourself calm as you decided to just go for it and if he did not feel the same then you could just block his number and move back in with your parents.
you clear your throat. "lando.." you trail off.
"yeah?" he says, his tone still lighthearted in comparison to your now, heavier tone. he does not pick up on it however.
"i think... i want to be more than friends." you tell him. your words sure and laced full of false confidence. you were still hiding most of your face.
lando's face gets serious as he looks at you through your phone. you cannot for the life of you read what is going on in his mind and it was sending you insane as he sits there in silence for a few minutes. it seems like eons to you though.
"you wanna be..." he trails off his eyes sparkling with something you cannot work out. "best friends?" he smirks.
you groan so loud you think your neighbours could hear you through the walls, and they were actually pretty thick. lando laughs on the other end and it just makes you even more annoyed. why was he making this into a joke?
"stop joking for once! oh my god. i'm being serious." you tell him, your frown now deep set as you now let him fully get a proper good look at your face. maybe if he sees your face he will let you down easier so it wont hurt as bad.
lando just smiles at you. "i know. i like winding you up. it's so easy." you can finally decipher a hint of fondness in his eyes as he stares you down. you wished he was here with you so badly right now. maybe you should not have confessed over facetime. too late now, you figured.
"don't look so worried, babe. i like you too but i was planning on letting you know in person. guess you missed me too much you just had to tell me over the phone, huh?" lando teases. the way he says it does make you want to beg for him to just skip the race tomorrow just so he can fly back home to you.
he was way too cocky for his own good and you would be letting him know when you had him back with you.
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samandcolbyownme · 8 months
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Summary: anon request - "can you write a smut for johnnie guilbert??"
Prompt: Johnnie and reader get into an argument which leads to make up sex.
Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, arguing, hair pulling, pet names (dirty and cute), oral (m rec), unprotected rough makeup sex, filth
Word count: 2.6k | not edited
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
Johnnie has been working on editing his and Jake's video all day.
You think, no. You knew he forgot about them.
It wouldn't be as big of a deal if this was only the first time, maybe even the second or third - But it wasn't.
Over the last few weeks, you've had to either cancel or forget about plans because of Johnnie putting majority of his time into his computer screen rather than you.
You didn't really talk to anyone about it, or say anything to Johnnie, mainly because this is his job and you didn't think you had any room to bitch.
You checked your phone, sighing at the time - twenty minutes past reservation.
You used to remind him, then after the thirteenth, fourteenth, and fifteenth time, you decided that he should be able to put down the computer for an hour or two on his own, so you decided to just let things go.
You never really blamed him, sometimes it was because he actually had deadlines to make, or a video he and Jake were doing ran long.
But when that wasn't the case, you used yourself as an excuse - not feeling well, didn't sleep good the night before, something simple yet believable.
You rise up from the couch, walking towards Johnnie's room. You pass Jake in the hallway and he makes a joke you're in no mood for, "Fix your face, you look pissed."
His laughter is silenced when you roll your eyes, "I am."
"Uh oh."  Jake puts his hands on his hips, shifting his weight onto his right leg, "What did Johnnie do?"
You shake your head and cross your arms, looking away from him because you didn't want him to see the frustrated tears in your eyes.
"Am I going to hear yelling?" He asks and you nod, laughing slightly, "Probably."
"Shit." He sighs, "Well if you need backup, just yell- ooh. We should have a code word."
You stare at him, trying not to laugh as he taps his chin, "Hippopotamus."
"Hippop- Jake. Really?" You laugh and he shrugs, "Well yeah, if you just scream hippopotamus, that will for sure throw him off even more, then I can come in with an open can of whoop ass."
He moves his hands in front of him, a serious look on his face that you just cannot take serious, "Okay. I don't think I'll need it, but I appreciate the support."
You pat his shoulder, watching him walk away before taking a deep breath, returning to what you were originally doing.
You stop in front of Johnnie's door, composing yourself so you don't go in, already lit like a fire cracker.
You know twice before opening the door, "Hey."
Johnnie has his headphones on, so he probably didn't hear you. You walk in, closing the door behind you. You walk over to him, gently tapping him on the shoulder.
"Jesus fu-" he jumps and looks up at you, "Jesus Christ, babe." He sighs, "Scared the fucking shit out of me."
"Sorry." You smile slightly and sit on the bed, "Whatcha doin'?"
He pulls his headphones down around his neck, "Just working on getting this video out."
You nod, "Cool. Cool.”
You look around his room, picking at your nails as you try and figure out how to calmly start the conversation.
"What's wrong?" Johnnie asks turning his chair towards you. You look over at him and shrug, "We just.." you laugh slightly, "It's not really funny, but we missed our dinner reservation."
He looks in the corner of his computer, "Oh fuck. I'm sorry." He looks up, "Why didn't you tell me?"
You scoff, raising your brows as you lower your voice, "I shouldn't have to."
"What? Sorry. I didn't quite hear you clearly." Johnnie closes his lap top and sets it on the desk.
You roll your eyes, lying back with a groan, "I'm not arguing with you Johnnie."
"I'm sorry, I must missed the part where I said we were?" He takes his headphones from around his neck,  setting them on top of his closed computer.
You sit up, letting out a sigh, "I said, I shouldn't have to tell you when we have plans, Johnnie." You let your hands fall into your lap with a slap, "I let it go for a while, only because I didn't think I have a right to be mad, but you constantly editing and this or that is effecting us."
"So what.. are you saying?" He stares at you with a solid look, "You're going to leave? All because I'm doing my fucking job?"
"No." Your words come out louder than you intended, "I never fucking said I was leaving, Johnnie. All I said was that I shouldn't have to fucking remind you time and time again that we have plans for us. You and me. Boyfriend and fucking girlfriend!"
"Other than right now, name one fucking time me doing this made us miss out on something." He motions for you to take the floor and you sigh.
"Sam and Colby were throwing a party, I told them you had a deadline to make so we wouldn't make it. Tara was throwing a party, I told her I didn't feel good because you stayed up all night and half the day working on a video. Last week we missed out on dinner, again, because you didn't pay attention to the time. Two weeks ago, Jake wanted us to go with him to one of his other friend's parties, but you decided to get on and stream. Do you want me to keep going?" You raise your brows and lean forward slightly, "Because I can."
Johnnie laughs, "So.. you're telling me that you couldn't just come to me an hour or so before and tell me to get off? You're just blaming me for every time you missed out on going when you could have just gone yourself?"
"You want me to go to dinner, for two..  alone?" You tilt your head back, "You are being so unbelievable right now."
You stand up and Johnnie's eyes follow you. Your hands go to your hips as you pace back and forth, "I'm trying to get you to understand that I want- I need time with you, too Johnnie."
"You get time with me, y/n. I don't understand why you're so worked up over me d-"
"Because it's all you fucking do Johnnie. You're always filming a video. Editing a video. Uploading a video. Something with a stupid video." You turn to face him, "I want to go out to dinner, enjoy time with just us. Do you think I want to go to parties alone? It's no fun when I don't have you there."
He sighs, looking down, "So.." he looks up at you, "You waited until it was what, twenty minutes or so after our reservation time to come in here and make a huge scene that could have been avoided?"
You laugh, mouth dropped open as you stare at him, "Are you ever going to actually listen to what I'm saying or am I just wasting my breath being a broken record?"
"I am listening, you're just not getting what I'm saying, y/n."
"No. Trust me. I get it. Loud and clear." You motion to his computer, "I'll just leave you to it then."
You turn to walk towards the door, reaching to open it but Johnnie's hand stops you, "Don't."
"Don't what? Leave so I can sit here in silence while you continue to do what got us here in the first place?" You turn your head to look at him and he shakes his head, "No."
He grabs your wrist, pulling you towards the bed, "Were done talking about this."
"No.. I don't think we a-"
He cuts you off with his lips on yours. His hands pull your waist into him, "We're done talking for right now."
"You can't ju-"
"Don't run your mouth anymore, and I won't run mine anymore." He kisses down your neck, "We can talk after we get all of this frustration out."
A smile creeps into your lips, even though you're still mad. But, no worries. Johnnie will take care of that for you right away.
"Fine." You give in, sitting down on the bed. You pull him with you, his body hovering over yours, "Shut me up."
He smirks, tilting his head, "Gladly." He sits up on his knees, taking off his shirt. His hands move to his belt and you sit up to replace his hands with your own.
You glance up at him as you undo his jeans, biting your lip as you anticipate what's about to happen.
He nods towards the floor and you pull your legs out from in between his and move, dropping to the floor as he stands up.
He pushes his jeans down, and you move over to him, pulling down his boxers before he sits down on the edge of the bed.
He leans back, holding his weight up with his hands as he watches you move in between his legs. He sucks in a sharp breath as you wrap your hand around his cock.
His eyes following you as you lean in, sticking your tongue out to lap at the head of it. He groans lowly, balling up the blanket in his fists, "Fuck."
You work him into your mouth, coating him with your spit as his jaw hangs slack, "That's it."
You lift your head, moving your hand up and down to coat him fully before leaning back in to bob your head up and down.
His eyes flutter shut as a moan escapes quietly.
You look up at him, dragging your tongue up the underside of his cock as you tilt your head back.
"All the way in, babe." Johnnie places a hand on the back of your head, gently nudging you to come back for more.
You lick your lips, leaning in to take his cock back into your mouth. You bob your head, working further and further down, until you can feel him in your throat.
He groans, stroking the back of your head as you hold yourself there. You squeeze your eyes shut, digging your nails into his thighs before you pop back off, glancing up at him before going back in.
You lift your head, bobbing your head slowly as your tongue flattens against his cock.
"Fuck. Why didn't we just do this first.." He gasps as you sink your head all the way onto him, groaning as bucks his hips slightly, "Fuck okay. Okay."
He lifts your head, cupping your cheeks as he nods to the bed, "Get undressed then lay down."
You move to your feet quickly, pulling your shirt over your head before fumbling to undo your pants. You kick them off, getting ready to climb onto the bed when Johnnie stops you.
"Ah, ah. Panties too, sweetheart."
You nod, pushing them down and kicking them off before finally climbing onto the bed. You turn, facing him as you sit down.
He moves up in front of you, leaning in to kiss your neck. He pushes your body back as he moves his over yours.
He kisses down your chest and over to your boob, taking your nipple between his teeth. You gasp as he bites down, hands moving to his hair to mess it up more, "J-Johnnie.."
You whine, slightly moving your hips, "Please."
He kisses back up, to your lips, moving to lay beside you. He rolls you over so you're laying on your side, hand sliding under your thigh to lift up your leg.
You bite your lip as his hand slides down your body, stopping at your clit to rub small circles onto it.
You arch your back away from his chest, "P-please."
He rests his chin against your head as he slides his fingers down to dip them inside of you, “We don’t need to argue.” His voice is light, quiet, “We should always just fuck it out..”
He slowly moves his fingers in and out, “And then talk. Doesn’t that sound much better?”
You nod, “Y-yeah. So much better.”
“That my girl.” He kisses your head and moves his hand to grab his cock, rubbing it against your pussy a few times before slowly slipping in, “Fuck.”
His arm slides over your waist, hold you to him as he pushes in. You tilt your head back and his lips meet your neck, sucking a spot which earns an even louder moan from you.
“Fuck..” you breathe out, “Johnnie..”
He groans lowly, tightening his grip as he starts to thrust. Your foot rests on his leg as you keep your leg raised, moaning with each of his thrusts.
You lay your hand on his arm, digging your nails in as his thrusts grow harder.
“F-fuck.” You whimper, “Keep going.”
He moans, digging his fingers into your skin, “You feel so fucking good.” He pulls you closer to him as you push your hips back, dragging your nails down his arm , “Yes, yes, yes!”
He pushed your body forward, sitting up and getting on his knees behind you. He pulls your hips up, quickly placing his cock back into you.
Your cheek rests against the bed as you moan, pulling the blanket as his thrusts go right back to being rough.
Your eyes roll back, a string of moans leaving your lips in a constant loudness.
You yelp out as his hand makes contact with your ass with a hard smack. He brings his leg up, giving his cock a new angle that drives you absolutely crazy.
“Such a good fucking girl.” He groans out as he tilts his head back. He brushes his hair from his face before reaching up to grab a handful of your hair.
You tilt your head back, lifting your self up onto your elbows, “F-fuck. Fuck.”
“Wait for me, baby.” Johnnie moans, “Almost there.”
He tugs your hair, pushing his cock all the way, pausing for a second before continuing to thrust, “Shit.”
He lets go of your hair, gripping your hips. You moan, trying hard not to cum like he wants. You push your hips back, whining out as he makes it harder, “P-please.”
Johnnie’s thrusts grow sloppy, “Cum for me.”
Not even the end of his words and you’ve already let go, becoming a whimpering, moaning mess under him as you squeeze his cock repeatedly.
A few seconds later, he pulls out, spilling his cum onto your lover back and ass.
“Fuck.” He strokes himself a few times before falling back and sitting down. You lay down, trying to control your breathing and he lays a hand on your thigh, “I’m sorry for not listening to you.”
“I’m sorry for coming off bitchy.” You laugh slightly, “I was just..” you pause for a second and sigh, “I let my frustration get the best of me.”
“I don’t blame you. I haven’t been fully with us lately, and I promise that..” he taps your leg with each word, “..right now, you have my attention whenever you want it.”
You turn your head to look at him, “You promise?” You hold out your pinky and he smiles as he wraps his around yours, “I promise.”
As Johnnie gets up to get something to wipe off with, Jake yells from the other side of door, “y/n? Do you need a hippopotamus?”
Johnnie looks at you super confused and you can’t help but laugh, “I’ll explain then.”
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
This is my first ever Johnnie one shot, so please let me know how you liked it! I’m interested to hear what you have to say!
Thank you for reading! Love you all! 🖤
Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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luvlystarr · 4 months
Note
Could you please do a part 2 to Simon -grumpy x sunshine
Thanks so much 💕💕
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.・。.・゜❃・.・❃・゜・。.
Part 1
Of course I can do a part 2! I’m really grateful that so many people enjoyed my last post! 🤍
Here’s part 2 of Ghost x Reader - Grumpy x Sunshine.
Content: Pure fluff
.・。.・゜・゜
Ghost still hates you, well, not as much.
You and the Task Force 141 were sent on another mission. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned.
Because of an unexpected ambush, you and Ghost got separated from the rest of the team.
It seemed like the universe wasn't on your side today. Both of your radios weren't functioning even though they were perfectly fine. You tried to call for Price, Soap and Gaz but all you got was static.
On top of all of that one of the enemies managed to cut your arm with a knife.
All of which lead to your current situation. The two of you are stuck in an abandoned warehouse with broken radios while Ghost patched you up.
You were sitting on a chair while you kicked your legs back and forth, patiently waiting for Ghost to finish.
"Quit moving," he said as he glared at you. You followed his orders and stopped. He's already pissed off and you don't want to make it any worse.
"Why can't we just go out there and find them? Who knows how long we're gonna be stuck here," you huffed.
"We're waiting for Price's orders. It's dangerous to go out there blindly."
He was right, there were probably enemies lurking outside and who could easily outnumber both of you. But at the same time you can't stand being in the warehouse anymore. You wanted to get the job done and go home.
Ghost finally finished wrapping the bandage around your wound. "There, how's your arm now?" He asked.
You move your arm around slightly. "Not bad, still aches but it'll do," you shrug. "Thanks, Si."
"Should've been more careful and I told you not to call me that," Ghost sighed.
"C'mon, lighten up a bit! Let's have some fun at least." Just then an idea popped into your mind.
"How about this, where do Generals keep their armies? In their sleevies!" You laugh uncontrollably at your own joke.
Ghost hated to admit it but your joke was a little funny, even your cute laugh got to him.
He managed to hide his chuckle but that didn't go unnoticed by you.
You stared him with a shocked look on your face. At first you thought your mind playing tricks until you see his eyes squinting a little.
"Did you just laugh?! Was that a laugh?!" You exclaimed.
Luckily, his mask was able to hide the dumb smile he had on his face. "Don't know what you're talking about, that joke was stupid."
"You did laugh! I can tell you're smiling, Si!" You grinned.
He shook his head before finally caving in and letting himself laugh. His cheeks began to hurt just from how hard he was smiling.
He gently pulled your head to his chest before wrapping his arms around you. You could feel his laugh vibrating through his chest. Now you were a hundred percent sure that you weren't seeing things.
"Shut up, you're losing your mind cause of the blood loss, love," he chuckled.
Maybe he doesn’t hate your laugh as much as he thought he did.
He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he does love you with all his heart.
・゜・。. .・。.・゜・゜・。.
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esoteriamaya · 1 month
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Cleopatra's Secret.
The Ways Of The Wise Woman. Beauty Secrets Of The Nile.
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Cleopatra was an empress, a goddess, a mystic woman. She was a lady who knew how to attract the flow of abundance to her.
Cleopatra knew all about beauty and how to keep them strong, powerful and vibrant. To this day, we still don't know everything she has done to be known as the beauty queen she is today.
In my own years, I have found a liking to her. There are moments in my own life, where I feel as though there is a connection of some sort. Im pretty good at taking understanding to the vibration of certain goddesses and queens from past generations. Sometimes they come with a message. Others, like cleopatra, come with divine guidance.
In this reading, I will bless others with a truth that all of us have come to learn, and are still trying to accept.
The first thing is this:
The beauty standard isn't real. Beauty is not something outside of the self. It is always in you, first. Everything else comes as a source of inspiration from the Goddess. You are not only beautiful because the entire world says that you are, that is merely the flesh. It is the vibration, the energy you put in to your work to obtain beauty, and the luxury you have into keeping it.
Cleopatra's secret is that of self-love, and knowing what works for her & using that to her advantage. Especially with her hair.
The thing's that I would like to mention is this, You guys have to want to see it for yourselves. See it in you, first, and the guidance of what works for your body-mind-soul comes right after.
So I have a story I would like to talk about, on what even made me speak about this. One day I was out with one of my favorite looks, but I had to pin it up because it was too much for me. Usually I love it in a ponytail, but today not so much.
Tell me why the entire day I had got nothing but compliments on my hair! My hair! My hair my hair! That's all I kept hearing. And sure I was flattered, but I noticed there was a different vibe coming in when it came to the hair and how everyone gawked at it. People stopped and stared, one asked for a picture, some would just come up to me telling me how beautiful I looked. I was shocked, because again. I wasn't vibing with my hair like this fully.
Not only did they compliment my hair, they complimented the outfit as everything went together (the hair color had matched the dress). And someone even said i looked like a painting, another an empress.
With all the beautiful compliments, It was like they seen a ghost. All jokes. But you catch my drift right?
I had a full day out an about, so the entire day I got tones of compliments, my final compliment of the night is what inspired me to write this when a guy tells me that my hair reminded him of 'cleopatra'.
I said huh? Cleo? Lol.
And of course it was all love. Just jokes.
My hair wasn't even in braids, which is why I found it funny.
And even though he was playing, I had meditation sessions where cleopatra would come out into the meditation, as if a ritual was taking place. This was a while back, before the comment. I noticed I kept feeling her vibes and would catch a couple of syncs from her, thinking it was from working on a couple of goddess readings. Something about what he said rung a bell right after.
Although his compliment was very sweet, Immediately had one of those 'eureka' moments. Like that of Jimmy Neutron. Lol.
'Cleopatra's Secret"
She had been speaking through me all today. With my experience of course. I could imagine how she must feel being known with a distinguished look that nobody else had. A body of her dreams, and an aura of delight. She was a chosen one who was cherished with a royal empire, but not only that, she had looks that could kill. That was her, Cleopatra.
It was a message. The entire day was a reminder. The signature style. The energy, the appeal.
I have spoken before that goddesses and gods tend to carry a vibration and you can channel them. It wasn't me channeling her at the time but I could understand that whatever I was sensing from cleo it showed itself to me that day. I was just relaxing in the sun. Her spirit walked so that we could run.
The Style. The Flair. The Signature Look Of An Era.
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GIF by indigaux
She had a DISTINCTIVE look which is why so many gawked at her. She did not look like anyone you've seen in your day. Which is why she was so special. Cleopatra had the LOOK. She was the MOMENT. She was the IT GIRL! In today's language, that's what she'd be. It is about knowing what works and shaping that into your reality. I knew my favorite hairstyle would always get the girls looking ;) but when i toned it up a notch it had the girls singin'!
Is the style you're going for you look forward to wearing? Be it you cut it different, changed the color, adding a little accessory. How does it make you stand out?
From hair to clothes, finding your niche is what works. & letting go of whatever doesn't make the cut in what typically looks like eye candy. You gotta give yourself something you'd desire seeing for a long time. As the people will never make you forget it. ;)
Cleopatra had her own style. Her own flow. Her own grace. She didn't mirror anyone you would see, and she took advantage of that. & I'm here to say you can too.
Here are some tips as far as confidently being yourself go, and then we go into the spiritual baths & luxuries miss cleo would have indulged in herself.
The Sun Child
Cleopatra was a one of a kind. Lets start there. She had the confidence of a woman who knew she was gorgeous. Who knew everyone wanted a glimpse of one of god's most beautiful creations. Everyone wanted to touch her hair, to taste her, to smell her eloquent perfume... She was someone you wanted to have but couldn't imagine the possibilities.. Because in her mind, she knew that all you would get is a fantasy. In the city of the nile rivers, this beauty was chosen to light up the people with her smile and seductive prowess. So much so this helped her win and intrigue men, helping her win wars throughout her dynasty.
So for you, I say to be a light. To conquer your inner strength and use that as your advantage. Take what you can and run with it. Because your aura is a hypnotizer, as is the sun of course.
When your light shines, you become a Goddess, because you are a reflection of what gives us life.
Rose Bath
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One thing Miss Cleopatra was most known for was her beautiful bath water routine. Every night she'd soak into a bath that would make her skin pop, fresh, and glowing.
So here is an inspired Rose petal baths on a sunday afternoon will be a killer for your skin. Add in shea butter with nut milk (oats or almond milk) with some leaves from your garden, soaking into the bath for about 25-45 minutes will give you an everlasting sensation as you awake.
Also a cup of lavender, as well as some sea salt/epsom salt will do the trick for any anxiety you have been feeling. If you don't have that problem, lavender is also good to help with better sleep.
Lemon Balm Milk Tea W/ Almond Milk
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1 cup of almond milk.
1 tbsp of lemon balm / half tps rosemary, 1 tsp basil leaves
1 tps of honey
1 tsp Caramel filling (or to your liking)
pinch of sea salt mixed well (A PINCH)
mix together.
You can infuse the herb extraction into the milk.
Another way is getting 1 1/2 cup of water in a pot. slightly boil for 5 minutes, place the herbs in there for 2-3 for them to begin infusing. Mix the 1 cup of milk into the pot
You can use a hand mixer to give your milk tea that 'fluffy' look at the top.
1 chunk of cinnamon powder drizzeled at the top
Enjoy.
Aura - The Mystique
If there is one thing I got for you all, is that the vibes need to match the face. Your beauty is one thing, but your vibe is another. And if theres anything that you need to do, you need to work your magic on the world ladies. The gift in being you is in your vibration. How does it feel to be you? To wake up as you? To breathe in your skin? To simply BE.
Your energy is magic. Meditating on the way you want to view the world helps the aura shape its reality. You are youthful, vibrant and intelligent. Use that energy to its advantage. Go to places that represent the person you want to become. Study and read the books that give you the most insight on what it is you desire to understand. Look beyond the universe.
And. Tell. Nobody.
The mystery in who you are is that anybody can be perceived, but the beauty in being who you are is that you are perceive-less. And thats the energy you want to embody.
Nobody knows you. But yourself.
Open Your Spirits, Come The New Dawn
So as I'm currently outside writing this, I'm allowing my intuitive mind to come in and talk to me.
Cleopatra was very spiritual, and was heavily impacted by the moons energies. The sun had a big play in her story/impact. But her wisdom came from self-reflection and having play time outside with the moon's glow.
As I written before, she was the sun's darling. Her aura shined bright because she knew she was The One.
And as do you.
You are much greater than the stars because you come from them.
You are the entire sunset, to the moon and back.
You are a gracious creator, because the God's gifted you with skin that reminensed theirs.
You are capable of anything if you let it. So Mote it be.
With Cleopatra's story, her eyes gazed into the moonlight and she became the wind. She held tightly to her reflection as it is the very thing that opens up the mind finding its way into the heart.
She was open to understanding the things she didn't grow up in. She allowed lessons and tribulations to be her story, but to not let it break her.
She was open to the memories of the nile, the banquets, the rituals, the energy, the channels of the godly forces of creation. The energy of the Sun. She was knowing of her strength. Knowing of her power. Knowing of her grace. She knew who she was at a young age, and she always thought highly of her presence.
Til' Next Time..
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walpu · 5 months
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Happy birthday Aventurine
...in which he finds himself enjoying his birthday for the first time after he lost everything
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notes - gn!reader, was written with a stellaron hunter!reader in mind but it's not specified just know you're considered a criminal in this one, pre-canon, unestablished relationship with a flavor of pining, angs, hurt/comfort, no beta
Love my birthday boy
He doesn't celebrate his birthdays. Not since the day he lost everything. How can he celebrate the joy of his birth if on this day all the joy was taken away from him?
Born on the blessed day, he's Mother Goddess's beloved child. But why did she abandon her people then? Why it had to happen on the day they were celebrating her, on the day they were supposed to be saved? How can he see himself as something other than cursed, how can he see the day as something other than tragedy?
Anyhow, even if he would want to celebrate, for the first years after the massacre he didn't even have the opportunity to do so. And if he could, he would rather mourn his people, his family. But no, he can only focus on his survival, trying to fulfill the promise he gave to his sister.
Now, standing in the lonely hotel room, he can only smile bitterly at the sight of beautifully decorated cake Jade has send him. How ironic, wasn't she the one who told him to forget his name and his past? Perhaps she simply doesn't look at this the same way he does. "You can't change what happened but you can celebrate that you're still here", she would probably say. He envies her ability to brush off sentiments, really.
Now, when he is no longer Kakavasha but Aventurine of the Ten Stonehearts, he was deliberately choosing to ignore this day. It has nothing to do with his new self.
He may still hold onto his mother's necklace, his father's shirt, the promise he gave to his big sis. But this day? He doesn't need it. He doesn't need another reminder of the moment he lost everything.
That's what he tells himself, ignoring the pain in his chest, trying to bury himself in the work, running away on a mission he insisted on taking, even if was supposed to be his day off.
Still, he gets the cake. This stupid reminder of the worst day in his life.
It honestly feels like a joke. He doesn't even have anyone to eat this with!
He knows Jade didn't try to mock him, she's pragmatic, not crue. But aeons, it does feel like mockery still.
So he sits with this stupid cake in front of him, not really knowing if he should just throw it away. Somehow it feels... wrong. Wasteful. He knows how stupid that thought is, both him and Jade are rich enough to buy thouthands of those cakes. Yet he can't help but remember how his mom and sister would go out of their ways to give him something nice for his birthdays, something that could be considered a treat, a gift. Now he can have everything he wants but... they won't be there to share it with him.
No one is there to share it with him.
... at least he thinks so. Up until the moment the window opens from the outside (eighteenth floor, mind you) and a very familiar figure jumps in.
He really can't help but smile. Not only out of habit but because your ability to sneak in anywhere you want is truly amusing.
"Oh, what I see? A wanted criminal breaking into the room of one of the IPC's most noticeable employees? Don't you afride of being caught, my dear? Or you've finally decided to end our partnership and get rid of me?"
He can't help but chuckle at your unimpressed gaze. Yes, he has told this joke more than once already. But it's not his fault it always make you roll your eyes in a funny way.
But he really is curious what brought you here. Showing up like that is very risky, for both of you. Something serious must have happened if you decided to visit him out of the blue.
... that's what he thinks until you pull out a small gift box from your pocket, throwing it his way.
"A little birdie told me today it's your birthday. I don't usually participate in the whole gift giving tradition. Nor do I celebrate something myself. But those things reminded me of you and I was nearby anyway" you say with a cheeky smile.
He doesn't even know how to react, honestly. His hands just automatically unwrap the box and... oh. It's a set of earrings. A very pretty set of earrings.
"They reminded me of peacock tails" you say, barely holding back a chuckle.
"How original you are. I'm a birthday boy, you should be nicer, you know!" he acts like it's just a small joke between you two but his voice is weaker than usual and his hands are a bit shaky. He doesn't want to overthink it, he really shouldn't do it, it's just a small gift, a joke.
You thought of him. You know his taste well enough. I came to find him. You're here with him.
He almost panics when you say your goodbyes and turn to leave (through the window again. He'll never know how you do it).
"Hey, hey, no need to hurry. Let me be a good host for my friend" he says with his signature smile (he always feels like you see right through it) while his hand is clenched behind his back (he feels like you see through this too).
Please don't leave.
When you sigh and turn back to face him, he suddenly feels relieved that Jade send him the cake. The thought of sharing it with a wanted criminal who caused nothing but headaches to the IPC is somewhat amusing.
"How about we visit a nearby casino after this, hm? I promise you won't lose with me by your side"
If he can have you by his side, mayve he'll have at least one memory of this day untainted by pain and grief.
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ghostofhyuck · 4 months
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NCT Dream and arguments with them.
AN: the many times i received a scenario of an argument aftermath, i just realized i never wrote a scenario about reader arguing with dream.
Mark Lee
Arguments with Mark are rare cases, but it's always because of a serious matter. It may be because of his career, and priorities or what not. Today, it's about him coming home sick. He explained to you that it's just a fever and it'll come off tomorrow, he just needs to rest because he have a recording tomorrow. Oh you love Mark but this is unhealthy, so some words slipped out of your mouth, like how he should be taking care of himself and how he shouldn't overwork at all. You tried to be concern for him but due to tiredness, it irritated Mark. You two fought for an hour, not even attempting to lower one's pride to say sorry. In the end, you two didn't slept on the same bed. But that night, Mark realized that you're just being concerned about his health. So the next morning, he apologized to you and had a day-off so that he can focus on recovering his health first. 
Huang Renjun
You think of yourself as a strong, independent girl. You always solve problems alone, and you're very used to your own comfort zone. That didn't changed when you met Renjun. You love him enough to let him in your safe space. But sometimes, Renjun can be a tending boyfriend that it may end up him nagging you. One time, he lectured you about how messy your apartment was, and even cleaning it by himself. You explained to him that you couldn't find time because it was hectic week for you, and he doesn't need to lecture you about it. Renjun justified that he was just trying to be helpful, and there, you two argued about it. In the end, Renjun accepted that he was wrong, and he was sorry because his tone may come out as wrong. You apologized too, and you two reconciled! <3
Lee Jeno
It's the little things that may start a war. You love Jeno and you feel so lucky that he's your boyfriend, but there are times where your insecurities struck you at the worst times. So when you found out that he's being shipped with a female idol, your mind just went spiral --- even thinking that he's cheating on you. And as much as Jeno tries to explain it to you that no, he's not cheating on you, and he doesn't even know that female idol. But you won't believe him! Arguments with Jeno doesn't involve any shouting, it may be come in soft voices but dripping with much disappointment. Jeno will be frustrated that you're doubting him, and thinking that low of him to do such thing. It may take a lot of convincing for you to apologize to your boyfriend, and end up crying to him. 
Lee Donghyuck
Arguments with Haechan are a frequent occurrence. It's his love language! He just loves teasing you and bantering with you because you're the type to never back down with him. But today was not the right time for his jokes. It was one of those days that you feel so slumped out that you don't have any energy for anything --- not even your boyfriends' teasing. You told him that you're tired, but Haechan kept going on, even making a joke that wasn't funny at all. It resulted with you shouting back at him. He was surprised with your words but he doesn't want to back down. It resulted to a heated argument that only stopped when you broke down in tears. That's when Haechan realized that he crossed the line, apologizing to you profusely. 
Na Jaemin
Oh you love your boyfriend so much. Jaemin is such a gentleman and he's very sweet too! But sometimes, his jealousy can be a too much! You told him about meeting with an old friend of yours who is a guy and his initial reaction was to be jealous of him. Why do you need to meet with him ALONE. Why does he doesn't know about this guy, and other things. At first you found it cute, until he's telling words like, "all men are same." or "he doesn't look trustworthy." when he hasn't even met your friend. Of course, you defended your friend which resulted him to say, "see!! you're even on his side!" the argument went on, and you didn't talk to Jaemin for a few days until he apologized not only to you, but also to your friend. 
Zhong Chenle
Arguments with Chenle would start because of small things, most of the time it would be because of a disagreement over things. You two are very opinionated about things, and it surely ends up in a heated argument most of the time. In a few weeks, you two will have your 100th days as a couple. You wanted something special, like a dinner date, but Chenle insisted on keeping it private and intimate such as a get-together with his friends. You thought that it wasn't necessary to bring his friends because it supposed to be just the two of you, while Chenle thinks that there's nothing wrong with it. You two fought over it for a few hours, eventually stopping it but not apologizing to each other. It'll take a few days for you two to resolve it and realizing that you two were wrong, and then compromised with each other's idea. 
Park Jisung
Arguments with Jisung are also a rare case. He's just a very chill, laid-back boyfriend who trusts you so much that he wouldn't do anything to start an argument with you. SO in the rare case when you two had an argument, it would be because of emotional stress. It's when both of you are too overwhelmed with everything and you two tried to prove who had it worse between the two of you. It's an immature argument where you'll end up crying and Jisung will not be swoon with your tears, "really? if i cry too will you pity me?" because as much as he wants to sympathize with you, he's going through a tough time too. It ends up with a short cool-off, and when you two are emotionally mature enough to talk, that's when you two reconcile with lots and lots of sorry. 
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qlossytbh · 5 months
Text
𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 - 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧
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𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 working with the BAU team has always been challenging— but your suddenly disrupted by a case that hits close to home and you don’t know how to react when your past starts clawing at you.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 drinking, usual criminal minds content, mentions of dead bodies, mentions of murder, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of anxiety
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 3.7k
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 AHHH so the series has begun. this is based on this lovely request. i’m trying my hardest for things with the UnSub and the case to be as coherent as possible while the storyline progresses, so it’s very important to pay attention to names and your past ;)
𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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"And that is your third drink of the night—" You reached over to Garcia's drink, ripping it from her lips as she tried puckering onto the straw before you could steal her of the drink she had rightfully purchased. Protests flowed out of her as you brought her drink to your own lips, taking a deep sip of the fruity alcoholic beverage, savoring the light flavors in your mouth. "At least share."
"Anyone tell you how boring you can be sometimes?" She slumped herself across the table complaining profusely at your antics.
"All the time actually," You shrugged. "And I'm not boring, I just don’t condone alcoholism."
"Says the one whos about to singlehandly down my drink," She rolled her eyes at the sound of your straw reaching the bottom of the glass with a slurp. You looked at the glass and shrugged your shoulders innocently.
"Oops,"
The whole BAU had finally decided to host another one of these team bonding activity's, and the vast majorty had agreed on hitting a bar that was near the downtown area, Morgan having been the main enthusiast at picking where the bonding would take place.
You thought it'd be fun honestly. It was unusual to see the group in an ambience that wasn't so full of anxiety and tension all the time. Of course, a joke or two would slip around the office, mainly through the jet rides but it was hard to lay back all the time when you were constantly chasing sadists and murderers around.
It had also been a while since you had gotten somewhat dressed up. A simple black squareneck bodysuit and some leather pants wasnt your biggest definition of getting dressed up, but you knew today was casual, so you didnt want to go completely out. You chose to instead settle for a outfit that'd allow you to blend in and some soft curls in your hair.
Everyone was in their own little comfortable bubble, which really allowed you to understand your co-workers and friends better. You watched how JJ and Emily chatted along a few other men on the further side of the bar, laughing at their antics and desperation when it came to obviously impress them. It was funny even from this side of the bar how badly the men were oggling them shamelessly.
Just as you were about to look for Derek, you felt someone clash between you and Garcia. "Well how are the two of the smokiest looking woman in this bar doin'?"
"I was just looking for you," You jabbed him with your elbow as he wrapped his arm around you. "Should've known you'd come crawling to look for us."
"By us, I hope you mean just me." Garcia butted in. Derek scoffed and allowed his arm to leave your shoulder and instead wrap both of his around the blonde that sat next to you on the bar stool.
"Pfft, you kidding?" He scoffed. "Don't' get me wrong, those pants look great on you sweetheart, but Garcia here's my one and only."
You let out a laugh at Morgans comment. He was a flirt, a natural one, it'd been just like this since you first arrived at the BAU all those years back. You however, were inmune to his charm, and he'd always been a brotherly figure to you. The two of you teased the other and often got into small discussions that were similar to that of a sibling dynamic. Nevertheless, you cared a lot for him.
"I'm going to take that as a compliment," You eyed Morgan, sipping through the straw of the recently emptied drink. He pinched your cheek as a familiar laugh left his mouth while you slapped his hand away.
Your eyes scanned the rest of the bar, allowing your shoulders to slouch ever so slightly. You swirled the small cubes of ice around in the glass, looking at them intently before Derek whistled low accompanied by a deep chuckle. "Looks like Boy genius is hitting jackpot over there."
Your eyes turned to where Derek was gesturing and you saw Spencer sitting at a small table with three other woman practically perched on his arms. You watched as his arms enthusiastically flew over the place. Garcia pitched in. "Well thats a first,"
You chuckled to yourself, not failing to notice how his mouth was moving at an unreadable pace, which probably meant he had already went into what you'd like to tease him as 'wikipedia mode'. His brows were furrowed and his lips were pursed as they moved inaudibly, the same way they always did when he rambled on about something.
"Look at my man go," Morgan cheered.
"He looks constipated.." Garcia squinted her eyes, noticing his nervous and tense posture as one woman grazed his forearm.
You and Spencer had gotten really close over the past few years. He was the first person you immediately hit it off with when you first arrived to the BAU a little over a year later than he had. It initially started when the two of you were unintentionally being paired in many cases together.
However, Hotch and at the time Gideon realized that putting both of your minds together was a power weapon in disguise— Both you and spencer were incredibly smart but very different. Spencer was very good with statistics and information, and you were good with reading people in great depth, which is why the two of you made such an outstanding team.
By being together all the time, you slowly started to get more comfortable around eachother and soon enough the two of you became inseperable. Wether it was getting coffee with eachother in the morning, or staying over later in the office to read over some unsolved cases, you and Spencer were attached at the hip as months went on. It had taken a while to crack his shell open, but slowly, you'd manadge for him to loosen up.
"Looks like that's my cue," You said standing up and dusting of your pants. Morgan and Garcia shared a look while you sighed heavily, watching how Spencer entirely short circuited when one of the girls reached up to tuck a loose strand of his hair behind his ear.
You knew Spencer had a thing with his personal space, but also having a heart of gold prevented him from having the guts to push these woman off. You could tell that he didn't desire their company or attention.
You rounded the bar and made your way to the table where Spencer desperately needed saving. Once you walked closer to them, the woman in the middle looked up with an unamused gaze and then Spencer's intimidated eyes met yours. You clicked your tongue, gesturing your chin to the side and insinuating them to take a hint.
"Sorry to interrupt ladies," You smiled tightly, crossing your arms. "I need to steal your boy candy for a bit."
"We're busy.." One of them said, smiling at you wickidly and she placed her hand on Spencer's shoulder. You groaned internally because your intentions weren't territorially driven and these woman felt some inescessary need to fight you for Spencers attention.
"I wasn't asking." You responded sharply, given them one final smile. Under the intensity of your gaze, the three woman finally cowered and got to their feet, walking away while tossing their hair back at you and spitting hateful glances towards you. You followed their trail with your eyes before looking back at Spencer and narrowing your eyes at him.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," He clasped his hands together, blabbering as you walked over and plopped into the seat next to him.
"Why is it that you always end up in these situations?" You looked over at him. "You have got to stop attracting the bitches.." You rested your elbow on the chair and tilted your chin towards him.
"They came and I didn't really know how to—" He started but cut himself off with a groan, slumping deeper in his chair and dragging his hands across his face. He peered at you through his fingers and you chuckled at him, looking down and shaking your head to yourself.
Spencer quickly noticed how your hair was lightly curled towards its ends and the makeup on your face was giving you a soft glowy hue. His eyes scanned your lightly tinted cheeks and eyelids, along with the long dark wisp of your eyelashes that deepened your gaze, not entirely used to seeing you like this. You finally looked up at him, and eyed him.
"What?" You laughed, shoving his arm lightly. He looked down and smiled to himself. When he looked back up at you, he opened his mouth, wanting to tell you all about the statistics of makeup and its history and evolution along the years to ease his nerves, but Derek's voice cut through the comfortable chattering the two of you were sitting in.
When you looked up at him, you saw JJ, Emily and Garcia standing alongside him, all having the same familiar expression on their face. Derek motioned towards his phone and you nodded your head understandingly. You knew that Rossi and Hotch had probably called everyone in due to a new case. You looked over at Spencer, sighing heavily. "Duty calls,"
Spencer stood up from his seat and grabbed your hand, helping you up from your own and letting his chest heave with disappointment. "Are we ever going to get a day off?"
You looked up at him and patted his chest. "Now that is a stupid question for someone as smart as you, Dr. Reid."
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The whole team scattered into the conference room as Rossi held his phone to his ear and chatted stoically to someone, pacing back and forth the white board. You scanned Rossi's posture and the few pictures that were peeping out of a file and your brows furrowed.
"What do you think happened now?" You voiced, turning to Spencer, who scanned the room just as intently as you had beside you, hands deep in his pocket. Morgan, JJ and Parentiss had already fallen into their seats waiting for Rossi to hang up with whoever it is he was talking to. Spencer looked down at you and tightened his lips, shrugging slightly.
You hugged yourself as an unsettling feeling sat in the pools of your gut. There was something that happened to you often where you couldn't really voice a feeling into coherent words, but something about a situation seemed oddly off in your gut. The familiar feeling was currently bubbling inside of you and it evidently manifested onto your expression. You felt a hand on your shoulder accompanied by a light squeeze.
"You okay?" Spencer asked, furrowing his brows in concern. You quickly waved him off, smiling at him and taking in a deep breath.
"Yeah, just got a bad feeling,"
As Rossi hung up, you and Spencer made your way to your chairs. Spencer absentmindedly pulled yours out, allowing you to sit before him. You mumbled a quick 'thanks' before sitting down comfortably and turning your attention to Rossi with Spencer not far beside you.
"Sorry to interrupt team bonding but," Rossi shoved his phone into his pocket. "We've got trouble."
Rossi lifted the projector remote, turning on its contents and revealing a series of gruesome pictures. The photos showed what looked to be a couple, brutally slaughtered with blood splattered across the walls.
"Easton Green, 27 and Michael Green, 28, brutally slaughtered last night in their home here in Virginia," Rossi said scrolling through a few pictures of the couples body limply displayed across what looked like a bathroom. "Both victims received more than 20 stab wounds and both had their ring fingers severed. Due to autopsy reports, Easton had water in her lungs and Michael showed signs of sexual assault."
Your heart stopped in the back of your throat as Rossi read off the names of the victims, following with ID pictures of the two familiar faces you hadn't seen in a long period of time.
"A week ago, an almost identical murder took place." He punched the buttons on the small control, revealing a stomach churning picture. "Sarah Johnson, 28 and Adam Johnson, 28. The couple presented the same stab wounds and severed fingers, but no signs of sexual assault and no water in either of their lungs."
Your eyebrows were furrowed deeply as your mouth hung open, just slightly. You never thought you'd hear those names again, much less the way you had just right now.
"Both murders happened in their own houses and signs of forced entry are present." Rossi said.
"How do we know that these murders are connected?" JJ asked, scribbling mindlessly into her journal.
"We were able to make with the little evidence they've presented so far was that both couples had been recently married," Hotch pipped in. "The stab wounds are also identically the same, along with the way the bodies were left."
"So, wait, we have someone hunting around recently married couples?" Derek asked, brows furrowed tightly in curiosity.
"In a way that would explain why the ring fingers were severed..." Spencer quipped, scrolling through his files. You glanced over at him, watching the familiar furrow in his brow. He looked up. "Recently married couples wear their wedding bands on their ring fingers after the ceremony takes place. They're exchanged during the wedding ceremony and symbolize the couple's union and commitment to each other,"
"And with the severed fingers are probably the wedding bands," Derek blew out.
"If only the ring fingers are being cut off than maybe our UnSub probably has a personal vendetta with marriage in itself and is most definitely acting out of rage," Parentiss quipped in as well, crossing her arms over her chest. You looked from person to person as they all added in their analysis and group review, but you felt as if you couldn't keep up. Your brain had stopped working the second Easton and Michael had been named.
"We'd have to figure out how the UnSub is connected to the victims to be able to confirm that, and by that we'd have to connect the victims," Hotch uncapped a marker and turned to the board.
"Actually," You finally said. "All these victims went to North Virginia High School, the private school over by the upper east side of town."
The room fell silent as everyone's head turned to you. You froze momentarily, sinking into your seat while swallowing the bundle of embarrassment that seeped into you as the spotlight suddenly found your way. You signaled to the files "I, uhm— I used to go to school with these people."
"All four of them were in my class, I was actually friends with Easton. Sort of—" You shook your head. "—I haven't talked to her for years until well..."
 You looked over at the board and cringed internally.
"So were they together since high school?" Derek asked you, turning in his seat towards you. You pursed your lips in thought.
”Sort of," You flipped a page over onto it's back and pointed your finger to one of the lines. "Easton and Michael starting dating a year or two after graduation, but Sarah and Adam had been dating since sophomore year of college."
Your frown deepened, suddenly memories of your past flooding your head quicker than you anticipated. And quicker than you were prepared for. You rubbed your temple and laid back in your chair.
"Whoever the UnSub is could be connected to the class or school," You stated, deciding to fall silent until further notice. Hotch nodded in your direction, eyeing you suspiciously before Rossi began laying out a few more details of the case to which you couldn't completely pay attention to. Your hands fell into a nervous pattern of picking at the skin that sat comfortably on the side of your nails.
Spencer reached out from the side, placing one of his hands over both of your to prevent you from continuing your anxious habit. When you looked over at him, his gaze remained on Rossi and Hotch, eyebrows slightly furrowed yet expression completely relaxed as if he had not a single thought flowing around in his head. 
God knows you needed a bit of that. You glared at him but with a huff of surrender, you slouched further into your chair, allowing your fingers to dance along with Spencers underneath the table and away from anyone else's view.
After about thirty minutes of placing down a starters plan to the case and more unnecessary stuff that you weren’t all too interested in paying attention to, everyone in the team was dismissed. You snapped out of your trance, suddenly realizing that everyone was standing up and getting ready to leave. 
"You in there?" Spencer called out from beside you as he shoved his paperwork into his familiar satchel. You hummed offering him a quick, forced smile. 
"Yeah," You threw your bag over your shoulder. Spencer stopped you with a firm hand as you attempted leaving the room. He gave you a knowing look, clearly not even impressed by your poor attempt at running away from his worried gaze. 
"I’m fine Spence," You said, tilting your head slightly to the side. "I’ll tell you about it in the car,"
When you and Spencer first started to get along, both of you had realized that your lived not far from the other. A fifteen, maybe twenty minute car ride from the others place at most. When Spencer found out you usually took the train to get home, he insisted on dropping you off every evening after work. At first, it was a bit awkward, due to the fact that none of you knew anything about the other, opting for plugging your AUX cord into your phone and playing music to distract yourself from the silence. But now, things were different and things were everything but uncomfortable
"Y/N," Hotchs voice cut through the air thickly. "A minute?”
Your head snapped over to Hotch. You tensed, looking back over Spencer to which he tightened his lips, giving you a look full of sympathy. You assured him with a nod in the direction of the door. "I’ll catch up with you," 
With a final nod, Spencer left the room, closing the door behind you. You tensed your fingers at your side and swiftly patted the sides of your pants. You suddenly felt intimidated by Hotchs presence. It made you incredibly panicky not knowing why he called you to stay behind. Hotch had always been someone you found hard reading.
"Whats up?" You asked walking up to him and gripping at the strand of your bag.
"Are you okay?" You furrowed your eyebrows, jerking back slightly. Now that was definitely not what you had expected. 
"What..?" You asked, profusely confused as to where his question was coming form. He continued, organizing the files that were left on the meeting table.
"I asked if you were okay," He paused turning towards you. "If you’re going to be in conditions to work this case—“
You invoulintarily let out a laugh, to which you clamped shut in embarrassment at Hotchs unnamused glare. “Sorry..”
You shifted on your toes and sighed heavily. You understood that this sudden revelation may make people think this could effect your performance in the case. I mean, these were people you spent all four years of high school with and to any logical human being, in a sense, it would be emotionally impacting if ex-classmates were being executed one by one. 
But Hotch knew very little about your past. No one did. So with a firm nod you looked over at Hotch. "I am perfectly capable of working on this case Hotch."
“I didn’t doubt your capability,” He stared at you intently. “I asked if you were okay to work on the case,”
You stopped, watching him slowly try to weave his way into the truth of what these people actually meant to you. But you quickly shot him a smile, blocking him out and preventing him from seeing what was going on in the inside of your head.
“Yes, I am.” His eyes scanned yours, and with a simple sigh he shook his head and finally dismissed you from the room.
The case did not effect you in the slightest, and you weren’t lying about that. It was just very shocking finding out that someone who used to be your best friend was slaughtered to death. But you knew that nothing— no even the people who used to go to school with you were going to put a halt to your job, much less when you love doing said job so much.
You said your final goodbye to Hotch and walked over to the door, exiting it carefully. When you turned your back to the closed door, you found Spencer sitting against one of the desks. You crossed your arms and glared at him. 
"You should’ve gone home," You said. He pursed his lip, cocking his brows with amusement laced in his features. "I could’ve taken the train.”
You turned on your heels and allowed him to follow beside you. Spencer let out a laugh, throwing his head back. You beamed at his smile. 
"That’s funny," He said, looking down at you as both of you made your way to the elevator. "Did you know that transit riders, especially women, are often victims of a wide range of offenses of a sexual nature that happen on, as well as at bus stops and train stations."
You looked up at him with an unamused look, knowing he was doing this just to prove a point. He opted to continue. "Verbal harassment is the most common form of harassment, with 41% experiencing "obscene/harassing language" and 26% being subjected to sexual comments. Among non-verbal types of harassment, 22% had been stalked and 18% had been victims of—“
"Okay fine!" You exhasperated. "I wouldn’t have taken the train anyways, I have my personal choufer with me."
You patted his arm with a smile on your face as you rolled your eyes at his triumphal grin. Once the elevator door opened you pursed your lips. "Can I at least pay those 25 dollars of gas?"
He looked forward as the elevator door closed, scoffing. "Not a chance.”
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personasintro · 1 year
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Mutual Help | #02
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𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.9k+
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⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 
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"Can you pretend to be my girlfriend?"
"What?" you breathe out, shaking your head as if to make sure you've heard him correctly. "Pretend to be your girlfriend? Are you kidding?"
But he doesn't look as if he's kidding. He's looking at you with hopeless eyes, or maybe it's just an alcohol in his system that makes him look like a lost puppy.
"No," he gulps, slowly shaking his head. "If Kiko sees me with another woman, maybe she'll want me back. She told me she loves me. Maybe she'll want me back once she sees me with someone else."
"You realize how ridiculous and stupid that idea is? You're an adult, Jungkook. That's just stupid." you tell him, feeling yourself getting tired but you don't allow yourself to close your eyes. You'd doze off right away.
"I know, it's pathetic. But it's the only idea and a hope I have left."
"Kook, that's not healthy. What if she doesn't care?" you ask him carefully, eyeing his slumped figure.
"Then I'll have to move on." he answers, dryly gulping as if he's repulsed by that idea.
"I don't know, Kook. I don't think it's a good idea. You're not some teenager who needs to prove something to her. If she let you go, then it's on her. She was stupid enough to do that."
And he stays quiet, leaning his back against the headrest as he allows his eyes to rest. Without thinking anything further, you do the same thing. There's a comfortable silence in the room and for a moment, you think he's asleep. But before you can allow yourself to drift next to him on his couch, his raspy yet soft voice booms between the walls.
"Did you really bring me banana milk?"
A wide smile spreads on your lips as you nod, before you realize he can't see you. "Yes." you answer him, not moving an inch knowing he's going to beg in a second.
"Can you give it to me?" he asks quietly, almost as if ashamed that what he really asks for right now is a stupid banana milk.
"I thought you're not a fucking kid." you quote his words while teasing him. You knew he couldn't resist.
"Y/N," he growls, not pleased by your teasing but you're already standing up and turning the lamp on before you go to rummage through your bag, until two small bottles of banana milk are in your hands.
You can barely hand it to him before he's already grabbing the bottles, placing them into his lap as he opens one of them. He happily drinks it, smacking his lips once he gets the first taste. You can't help but snort at the sight in front of you.
"I've missed you." he blurts out, eyes widening as he waits for your reaction. He hastily looks at you, noticing your amused gaze before you smile at him.
"I've missed you too." you admit, knowing how genuine your words are.
Jungkook seems to be relieved that you've missed him too, which makes him feel even worse for acting like an asshole earlier today. It was embarrassing enough that Jimin and Taehyung had to see him in that kind of state – depressed and distant.
"I'm sorry for acting like an asshole earlier," he admits, "And I'm glad Jimin called you. God, those two are awful at making people feel better."
You can't help but laugh at that, remembering their distressed faces and Taehyung's desperate need to pour alcohol into depressed Jungkook. If the situation wasn't so serious, you'd laugh straight away then.
"Nah, it's okay. We all have our bad days and your reason was quite valid. Remember when I threw a remote at you? I don't think you were worse today."
"How can I forget? You got your period and I made a single joke thinking you'll find it funny. Who knew you'd throw a remote at me."
You can't remember what the joke was, but you were so annoyed with him that you grabbed the first thing and threw it at him – which happened to be your TV remote. It was back in the day when you both spent almost every day together. It's really been awhile since the two of you just sat and talked. And it seems like Jungkook thinks the same thing.
"Fuck, I feel like the worst best friend." he speaks up, throwing his head back before he shakes off his bangs out of his eyes.
"You were in a relationship, Jungkook. It was bound to happen." you tell him, shrugging your shoulders. Some part of you wished you'd hang out together all the time, like the old times. But it was impossible. And selfish of you to even wish that.
"Yeah, but when you were dating Haechan, we still used to hang out together more often. I completely blew you off."
Haechan. 
Your first boyfriend of five months, someone you've lost your virginity to. He was a sweet guy that made your heart flutter, and your naive young you thought he's the one. But he wasn't. Just because he made your heart flutter, it didn't mean much. Two months after you guys slept together, you both broke up with each other. It was mutual and the two of you remained friends. Not close though. You don't text each other or anything like that, but you still check out his Instagram profile just from pure curiosity. You'll always share something together, even though it wasn't anything romantic – at least not the way you've always imagined.
Maybe that's why it was easy to spend your free time with Jungkook as well. Rather than being with your boyfriend, you spend your time with your best friend. Even the sex was completely unadventurous and it felt like something you did just to release your sexual frustration.
"What if he agreed to break up with me because I didn't satisfy him enough?" you ask with widened eyes, thinking about all the times you had sex with him. It wasn't that many, but still.
"Oh, come on. That's not true." Jungkook snickers.
"You don't know that!" you frown, deeply in thought. "I've never had anyone else before him and our sex was boring. I wanted to spice it up but he'd just straight up say 'no'."
"From what I'm hearing, it looks like he was the one who wasn't satisfying you enough," he raises his brow, causing you to pucker your lips in thought. "No woman should ever feel like sex with her partner is boring. It's about communication."
You kind of hate how right his words are. He makes it sound so easy, but even though your relationship with Haechan ended after a few months, it wasn't just about sex.
"Sex wasn't the most important thing in our relationship, Kook. There were other factors that caused our break up. For example, our feelings."
"It might not be the most important thing, but it's important. All those things like sex, communication and feelings are a part of a great functioning relationship."
He's right. Maybe that's why your relationship with Haechan didn't work. It lacked all of those things, maybe not entirely but still enough for you to know that it'd never work out. You wanted it though, so much. There were days when you thought he's the one. But you were young and naive, you know that now.
"Look at me," Jungkook scoffs, shaking his head at himself. "Talking like some professional when my own relationship got fucked up."
There are no right words that you could possibly say to him. No matter what reason Kiko had to break up with him, you're sure it's not Jungkook's fault. He gave her everything, all of himself. If you think about it in a poetic way, he handed his own heart to her, gifting it to her and she took it and broke it.
"Maybe our sex wasn't great, but at least I got someone to have sex with. Maybe I should find someone." you ignore his previous words, knowing talking about it would hurt him even more.
"Like a boyfriend?" he asks, taking a sip of his banana milk as he stares at you in surprise.
"Well, I meant like a fuck buddy, y'know..." you trail off.
You haven't talked about this with anyone and it's just something that recently occurred to you. You're not that type to even think something like that. But you're twenty-two and even though you haven't met anyone interesting, you could still spice up your sex life. You're a woman with desires and urges. There is so little you can do all by yourself.
"What?" he mutters, looking confused as hell. "But you always wanted--I'm sorry I'm just shocked. I never thought you'd ever think about having a fuck buddy."
You can't be surprised by the confusion that's laced in his voice and visible on his face. You've always talked about how you want to have a normal relationship. You're pretty sure you've mentioned, that one time when you both got drunk, you can't imagine having a fuck buddy.
"I know," you mutter before frowning. "But for fuck sake, Kook. I'm twenty-two with almost no sex experiences. I'm really grateful for my relationship with Haechan, but even though the sex was boring, it was still some kind of experience. You know what I mean?"
From desperation to faint mumble, you lick your lips as you keep frowning at empty beer bottles.
Being open with Jungkook is no shock, he's probably the only person you can talk to about everything and he won't judge you. It's easy to talk to him. Yet, you know you're being this honest saying out your thoughts, with the small help of alcohol. As much as you wanted to distract him, you've never planned to talk to him about your sex life.
"I can help." he speaks up, eyes staring at the television screen.
Your head snaps towards him, mouth opening as you stare at your best friend and pure shock. Did you hear him right? "Help? How?"
He visibly gulps, slowly turning his head to you. "With your sex experiences. I can help you."
Is he for real?
"Y-you want to help me, do you mean like us having sex?"
You can hear your heart beating in your ear drums, echoing loudly as you keep staring at the man in front of you. He's joking. He must be. Oh god, if you misread the situation you're going to bury yourself and never come out.
"Yeah," he says slowly, dragging that one single word out of his mouth. "Well, we don't have to have sex. There are other ways we could try to help with your sex life."
There are no words coming out of your mouth. Your whole body freezes as you let his words echo in your head for quite some time. Jungkook, your best friend, just proposed to help you with your secret desires. That sounds insane. What the hell goes through his head? You've got an idea.
"Do you think I'm that desperate?" you frown, meeting his widened gaze. "I won't use you just for my stupid desires. What about you, huh? You're in love with Kiko. Wouldn't that be weird? We're best friends."
He's not overwhelmed by your outburst, noting your every question that spilled out of your mouth in a flashlight.
"No, I don't think you're desperate. I was the one who proposed it. And yes, I'm in love with Kiko but, we're not in a relationship and I'm a man with needs. Do you think me beating my meat every time I'm in a shower is somehow pleasurable? Nope."
"Okay, too much information," you scrunch your nose at the mention of his masturbating and talking about it so casually. You wouldn't be so against it, if it weren't for the current situation and the image of the two of you having sex. "You didn't answer the best friend part."
"What's there to answer? We're best friends and if we both agree that's what we want, I don't see a problem here. But of course, it was just an idea. We don't have to do anything, if you're uncomfortable with this. I'm sorry if I made things weird right now, it wasn't my intention."
You see regret flash inside of his eyes, looking away for a moment before his soft brown eyes are set on you again. The weird thing is, that you don't feel uncomfortable nor weird at his proposed idea. It's unusual, yes, but your friendship with him was always super close. You used to sleep in the same bed and there were times when he was showering, while you were brushing your teeth. Of course, you haven't seen him naked during those times, even though there is one time he accidentally flashed you with his dick. Maybe this is just another way to cope with his feelings.
"But-- do you even find me attractive?"
Kiko is taller, slimmer yet with wide hips and perky ass. A woman who takes care of herself, yet she still looks naturally beautiful. And then there's you. You don't think of yourself as being ugly. But when you think about all those times Jungkook saw you in your natural habitat. Wasted, mascara running down your cheeks, every morning you woke up with frizzy hair and puffy eyes – there are so many times when he probably thought you looked like a mess. You never cared but for some reason, you feel embarrassed remembering all those times.
"Of course," he blurts out, "You're beautiful."
Your heart flutters, smiling at your best friend as you look down for a moment. "Is this your way of getting me into bed?" you ask him with a puzzled look, seeing the way his eyebrows shoot up before he frowns.
"Of course not. I'm not desperate," he uses your own words against you, looking offended by your question.
But, he's still the one who proposed that idea and you tell him that.
"Maybe I did, but please know that I'm not trying to get you into bed. I would never do that, I would never use you. You're important to me, you know that, right?" he says, his voice turning soft as he pleads with you with his eyes. He needs you to hear it.
And you feel like an asshole assuming such a thing. It was just the first thought you got.
"I know," you whisper, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
"Maybe we can help each other, with no hard feelings. We've got only each other."
There are friends like Taehyung and Jimin, who are incredible people that you're lucky to call your friends. But your friendship with Jungkook is special.
"What do you mean?" you poke the inside of your cheek with an intrigued gaze.
Jungkook is handsome, you'd lie if you thought otherwise. He's hot and there are times when he gets you flustered, but you've never seen him anything more. He's your best friend after all, that's where you draw the line. You can't imagine something more happening between you two.
"I'll help you with your sexual desires and you'll pretend to be my girlfriend."
"Jungkook--"
"Just for a month!" he quickly insists, causing you to sigh.
"But aren't you still getting more? You get to fuck me and have me to pretend to be your girlfriend."
It's not fair.
"No, I don't have to fuck you if you don't want me to. I can help you explore everything you failed to do with Haechan, it's totally up to you. We could see where it brings us." he explains.
It's not like you doubt him, you know that he'd never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Jungkook is the most selfless person you know.
"Are you sure this is what you want? Won't it ruin our friendship?" You can't help but ask. It's probably the most valuable reason why you're so unsure about all of this. If there's a chance it'll ruin your friendship with him, you won't do it.
You can't lose him.
"Doesn't best friends who get to fuck each other end up badly? I don't want our friendship to be ruined. What if one of us catches feelings? You never know..." you mumble, feeling him shift as he scoots closer to you.
He cups your face in a gentle manner, tucking a strand of hair behind your hair. "I love you," he tells you, "As a best friend and that won't ever change."
He's staring between your eyes, eyeing you in a silent question causing you to smile at him.
"I love you too, Kook. But I don't think I can fall in love with you, I can't imagine it. You're just... my best friend. It feels right that way." you assure him honestly, seeing him to give you the slightest smile.
"Good," he nods, "But we don't have to do this."
You can see the honesty that glimmers in his eyes, but there's still that hurt hidden behind it. Hurt that Kiro caused. You don't agree with Jungkook's plan of trying to win her back, but if you're going to help him and you've nothing to lose – what's wrong with that?
"I guess I'm just scared that after some time it'll feel like we're using each other." you murmur, dropping your gaze before he gently tucks his finger under your chin as he lifts your head up.
"If you ever feel that way, tell me and we're going to end it. I don't want to hurt you."
Smiling, you nod along his words. "Okay," you murmur, "I guess you're right. It doesn't have to be weird if we're comfortable with this and with each other as well."
He nods, agreeing with you.
"You're right," he licks his bottom lip before saying;
"It's mutual help."
1K notes · View notes
weebsinstash · 8 months
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I know the show isn't out yet but Stayed Gone is stuck in my head and I'm chugging my yandere Vox juice so hard right now. I think he has the capacity to be absolutely insufferable
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---for starters THE SPYING POTENTIAL WITH THIS MAN. You're telling me he can directly plug himself in to the city power grid and see through all televisions, potentially even phones and computers too? Could he put himself on your phone and start going through your texts? Could he even just put himself on your phone real quick while you're sleeping to check in on you? You couldn't even have privacy in your own home because of whatever screens are around he could potentially shoot himself to or watch you through. Imagine just being in your apartment completely alone and he's suddenly on your tv. Like what if you had just been sitting there topless or with your dick out or something or 👀 I mean. He could see so much, really...
---God honestly like. You know I keep mentioning the Instagram without ever attaching pics or anything because I'm on mobile and I'd have to use the hazbin Instagram archive blogs here on tumblr to go find them back like, you know Val would openly post the meanest shit, would literally post Vox's face being busted up because he woke Val up from a nap or i think it was he literally just brought him the wrong soda (which to be fair was taken from Velvet and was half empty), and then you go over to Vox's account and his pic was taping his pieces back on while being really frustrated and kinda lowkey looking like he would cry
Like Val's out here "women are stupid also men are stupid too" and talking about how he adopted a dog and killed it within like 48 hours and here's Vox celebrating his pet's birthday with cake and a party like. Why are these men together. Why. Why. Don't get me wrong I love to be the involuntary third in a toxic codependency but--
look all I'm saying is... do any of you get really really upset when you see someone being mistreated, especially more so a friend of yours?
READER JUST LOSING THEIR SHIT GETTING FERAL ANGRY SHOUTING AND SCREAMING AT VAL BECAUSE HE PULLS SOME SHIT and like that's IT for you because 1. Valentino might like actually backhand you one as well, do you think he wears rings so it hurts, 2. Vox sees you defending him and like, it's based on your own preferences really but if he wasn't already gaga this CEMENTS it and 3. especially if he watches you have to take a blow for trying to stick up for him. Like what if you cry. I have a low pain threshold, I'd be sniveling and crying at the least. Valentino storms off and Vox is helping peel you off the floor cause you curled up into a ball or some shit and he's sitting there thinking "wow they suck at this but they still did it for me 🥺"
---during his song with Alastor, it's a little confusing because they show an actual camera crew when he's turning the TVs on, but i think it's pretty clear that he can control whatever the screens show visually, thus his little zany sketches and being able to talk to himself and at one point, showed the visual of himself blocking the radio Alastor was projecting on right next door. I can just see him using this to kind of.... fuck with you, really! Or do whatever he wants? He's trying to suck up to you and he's surrounded by roses, or you're his co-host/guest host and he thinks your joke was funny and gives a little audience laughter as a treat
Or you know... you're running from him down the street, passing all these different screens and displays as they power on and show things like, him "jumping in front of you" while demanding you stop or, trying to show some kind of blackmail publicly, or just, begging you to just ACCEPT HIM and showing you all the fun things he could do with you, "cmon, I said I was sorry, stop freaking the fuck out! We can- we can do that thing you've always wanted to do, what about that?!" as he tries to project you two doing something fun, but most importantly, doing it TOGETHER. You're running from him terrified and he's showing you images of like you two smiling and happy or, it becomes scarier as he's more desperate
"Don't-don't make me do something fucked up!! I'm serious, STOP RUNNING" and he's like freaking out, showing shit of trying to hold you down, tying you up, and/or shoving you into a locked room
Sudden thoughts of "what if the more emotional and unstable he becomes, the less he can control his intrusive thoughts and shows his more impulsive darker desires". He's tweeking and the screen glitches and you briefly think you see yourself completely restrained, blindfolded, gagged--
---he's just like OBVIOUSLY so prideful but also immature and whiny ("who gives a shit about alastor?" Well you, mr hes just quietly minding his own business and I'LL start beef because i feel threatened and STILL LOSE, like awww my poor little pogchamp got publicly humiliated in an argument HE started out of nowhere, he's my little sad wet baby lmaoooo) and we already know his relationship with Val can become physically abusive, so, you pair him staying in that kind of relationship, being codependent, with this personality of his, and I can just see.... ACTUALLY FUCKING TRIGGERED LIKE LITERALLY CRYING UPSET VOX BECAUSE YOU REJECTED HIM like he's pissed he's hurt he's lonely he's heartbroken and HELL NO IS HE GONNA ACCEPT THIS
Vox would be over here proudly claiming on his TV show that NO HE REJECTED Y O U, not the other way around! He's not upset! He's totally fine! Meanwhile everyone watching can tell this man is manic and visibly hotboxing copium, "I didn't even really like you anyways!!.... no, I mean, shit, fuck, COMMERCIAL BREAK--" *cut to technical difficulties screen because the man is CRYINGGG*
-- Valentino and Reader bonding over teasing Vox and making him flustered and of course, obviously, the inverse. I still kinda like the idea of "they both think you're cute but like nothing exciting until one night they bump into you unplanned and you're all dressed up". Like Val is from the 70s or 80s so they go to a roller rink disco whatever kinda place because I'm sure the coke game there is INSANE and you're just like, swaying your hips spinning around to Let It Whip or September or something dressed in some shorts that make your ass look just right 🤌
You're sneaking back into the studio after a night out and they're both lounging somewhere and Val's like "uhhhh who is THIS coming in without saying hi to Daddy?" and you pull your sunglasses down like "SIR??? 😳" And now HE'S flustered because he didn't know that was you and Vox is feeling some new kinda way because he's used to seeing you in like, your work uniform or casual wear
Val who then makes your work uniform really slutty and you have to serve him and Vox wearing it 😩❤️
---I have this thought of like lmao imagine walking down the sidewalk with Angel and seeing Vox on TV and Angel is like "ya know he can see everything outta dese things when he's plugged in" and you're like "bullshit, he couldn't possibly process that many screens at once, it'd overload his brain, he wouldnt be able to concentrate" and you're like "here I'll prove it, hey Vox, check it out you fucking dweeb" and flash him your bare titties or you MOON HIM
scenario A would be that he INSTANTLY barks out laughing, "hey Val, that dumb slut who brings you drinks just flashed me!" And he just totally shows it on the air, maybe partially censored, maybe not at all, your phone is ringing IMMEDIATELY, of COURSE it's Val, and Vox is broadcasting your mortified embarrassed expression, "our big story tonight: drunk bimbo fucks around and finds out! More updates after this word from our sponsor!" and the man will noooootttttttt stop bullying the fuck out of you afterwards, because he's got a crush on you and you're like someone weaker than him his insecure ass can punch down on
Scenario B is that he instantly turns pink and about 5 seconds later he blue screens and the entire city experiences a blackout and when he comes back on the air he's like stammering and, glancing at, it FEELS like he keeps glancing at you, but, is he really?
------
I dunno... like I'm sure Valentino is gonna wind up being unstable in his own way but I guess there's a certain, ALLURE to Vox being a little bratty and whiny while also having these very VERY handy, actually quite scary abilities and resources 👀 like boy show me what that screen do 😫💦
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gyuzgrl · 6 months
Text
food chain IIksyII
summary- a couple handsy young men have your boyfriend reminding you who truly is on top of the food chain.
wc- 3k
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Soonyoung watches with clenched fists as you talk to his friends. On hindsight, perhaps introducing his beautiful, funny, smart girlfriend to 12 handsome young men, wasn't his brightest idea yet. He hadn't thought this through.
You sat on the couch, sandwiched between Seungcheol and Mingyu- both of whom appeared to have taken a particular interest in you tonight. A pretty white dress clung to your curves, stopping a little above your knees, your hair lay perfectly. You looked stunning.
They all seemed to think that.
"...which is how my love for literature started, really," you conclude your story, offering Jihoon a gentle smile. He blushes, lowering his gaze.
"what about college? how's that treatin' ya?" Mingyu urges, nudging your shoulder as if you've been friends for ages.
His friendly manner leaves you feeling eternally grateful. It isn't easy sitting in a room full of strangers. Especially when everyone knows the other person. Everyone except you.
You respond, grinning as you gesture wildly with your hands. A fond smile settles on his face and on the others, but you play this off as them being nice.
Soonyoung, however, does not.
He knows his friends. Knows them well enough to see that behind their smiles and innocent touches, lie lust-blown pupils and something akin to desire.
Seungcheol tucks a strand of hair behind your ear as you talk, and you break off into a clumsy stutter. He grins, hand lingering on your hair with an evident fondness.
Your boyfriend grits his teeth. He rises from his seat, which ironically happens to be the one furthest from you, and walks over to you.
Everyone watches.
"baby," he grumbles, "can't hear you from all the way there"
You pout.
"come sit closer then, you're so far away soonie"
The petname pierces through all their hearts, like cupids very own arrow. Just when they thought you couldn't get any cuter, you had to go and prove them all wrong.
"no space" Soonyoung motions to the packed couch. "why don't you sit on my lap, pretty?"
"hosh-" you smack his chest, face heating up.
"wha- it's not like they mind, do you, guys?"
He turns to look at each of his friends, staring them down as if to say- 'she's mine. she's mine and you will watch her be mine.'
Gulping, Vernon and Joshua look at each other, a lingering guilt in their eyes. In all their eyes.
Seungcheol speaks up, forcing a smile onto his face- "of course not! go ahead, go ahead"
Wasting no time, Soonyoung hoists you up, making space for himself between Mingyu and Seungcheol, before tugging you onto his lap. His arms wrap themselves securely around your waist, and he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, placing a gentle kiss there.
There's a sudden shift in the atmosphere. What once was a lively, active air, has shifted into a still, stagnant one, charged with envy and guilt.
There's a pause.
"y/n," a voice calls from the side, with a sultry edge- it's Jeonghan. "you never told us what your type is-"
"oh..."
You're a little taken aback by the sudden question, but the people-pleaser in you can't help but respond.
"well, I like Hosh, so I'm sure that tells you everythin-"
"c'monn" he pushes, "tell me what I can do to steal you from Hoshingie"
Your eyes widen. Surely, he was joking, yes?
You laugh, hesitantly, following a couple of the boys around you, but Soonyoung's lips are set in a firm, hard line.
"you're funny-" you offer, patting your boyfriend's hand reassuringly.
"I mean it can't be looks- cause frankly, you'd have been on my lap instead of his"
The men laugh, poking your boyfriend as he gnashes his teeth. He had to remind himself that he wanted this. He wanted you to meet his friends. He wanted to call them over to the house. He wanted them to like you.
Look where that got him.
"oh- I got it!" Chan exclaims, pointing at you, "you must like cute guys- y'know they're s-"
"cute?" Soonyoung interrupts.
"cute?"
They all fall silent. The laughs and giggles that erupted from all over suddenly ceased to exist.
"if you think what you've seen of me so far is 'cute' I'd better straighten up. seems like I've been too nice all this while."
His voice is dangerously low. The stares he shoots at the younger boy are nothing short of menacing. If you didn't know any better, you'd think there were literal daggers shooting out from his eyes.
"Hoshi let's calm do-" Dokyeom tries, only to find his voice shrinking back when your boyfriend turns to him.
"calm down? oh I'm calm. I'm very calm."
You feel his grasp on your stomach tighten, pulling you further into his lap.
"as glad as I am that you all like my girlfriend, I think it's time for you to go. getting kinda late, isn't it, Seungcheolie hyung?"
The older man jerks to his feet, agreeing embarrassingly quick.
"yeah we've overstayed, haven't we, guys? we should um, we should get going."
Like clockwork, the other men rise to their feet, mumbling pathetic little 'nice to meet you's before scurrying after Seungcheol, right out the door.
You scurry after them, holding the door open as you call out a quick "it was lovely meeting you! get home safe". It surprised you how easily Soonyoung got them to leave at his command.
There's a presence behind you, an arm stretching out to slam the door shut. You turn around to meet the gaze of your very angry boyfriend.
Like a deer, stupified under the watch of a tiger, you stood frozen under Soonyoung's glare. Behind his pupils danced a dangerous kind of rage- one that made your knees weak and your heart quicken.
"Hosh-"
"save it"
Biting your lip, you look away, feeling so incredibly small under him. Feeling so powerless. You're reminded that he's the one in control here and nobody could even begin to compare. Not Seungcheol, not Mingyu, not even Jeonghan. With the way they all ran off at his command, it was evident who really sat at the top of the food chain.
He leans in, lips ghosting over yours.
You were trapped.
"thought they were funny, did you?" he seethes, pushing his hips flush against yours, "hm? smiling away when they touched you, when they stared at what's mine-"
A soft whimper is all you can manage, chasing his lips as he pulls away just a little.
"no, Hosh-"
"I said. save it."
A familiar heat pools between your legs at his commanding tone. God he was so sexy like this- all angry and rough.
"I think you've forgotten, pretty girl" he rasps with a condescending furrow in his brow, "forgotten who you belong to."
Oh you were in for a long night.
"n-no Soonie m'yours- only yours"
"yeah?"
"mhm"
A hand works its way up to your chin, digits cradling the tip, tilting your head up. Your eyes flutter closed.
"mm, so eager for me" he coos, inching forward. You move to pull him closer, but he catches your wrists with his other hand, yanking them above your head, pinning them against the door.
You gasp, now completely at his mercy. He grins.
"patience, baby"
He closes in, lips finally meeting yours in a sloppy kiss. It's a mess of teeth and tongue and desperation, but you love it. There's a fire, a passion, when he kisses you- one you've seen when he dances. His body rolls into yours, hips pushing hard against you, and you moan.
His tongue shoves its way into your mouth, licking over the surface of your palate like he'd go crazy if he didn't.
It's dizzying how intense he is. His presence is overwhelming- he's all over- and you're helpless to it all.
Your lungs scream for respite, begging you to pull away, to breathe. Like a fire alarm, your heart thuds in your ears, almost in warning, as if to say- 'breathe! breathe before you lose consciousness!'
Hesitantly, you listen to your panicked heart, pulling away with a gasp. Your chest heaves under him, filling you up with sweet, sweet oxygen.
"can they get you all worked up like this? hm?" he mumbles, trailing his fingertips from your chin to the divot of your collarbones.
You shake your head.
His voice drops to a whisper,
"can they touch you the way I do?"
The solid muscle of his thigh parts your legs, bullying it's way in between. He pushes up, right against your sex, and you whimper at the contact.
"tell me."
"nobody t-touches me like you do Soonyoung- please," you breathe, head tipping back, giving him complete access to your throat in silent submission.
He trails hot kisses along your jaw, down your throat, sucking purple stains into your skin- so harsh and opaque, you wouldn't be able to hide them from the world.
"what will Seuncheollie hyung think, hm? what will he think when he sees how you let me mark you like this for everyone to see?"
You moan, the thought of his friends seeing the hickeys he left only adding to your arousal. The heat between your legs, the wetness, is unbearable. Your body yearns for Soonyoung, aches for him. There's a feeling only he can give you and you both know it. You need him now.
Picking up on your desperation, your boyfriend decides to move on. After all, he can't keep his pretty girl waiting, can he?
Firm hands grip your thighs, and a single command is uttered- "jump."
Instantly, your legs wrap around his waist and he hoists you into his strong arms, lips clashing in a messy kiss as he carries you to the bedroom.
Soonyoung lowers you onto the bed, pressing you into the mattress with his weight. His arms cage you in, his hips roll into yours, his eyes- now narrowed at you in the way a predator would look at its prey- held a fire that made your skin grow hot.
"you need me to make you feel good, don't you, baby?" he grins wickedly, breath fanning across your face.
You nod, pathetically.
"say it"
He pauses, leaning closer- so close, his lips touch yours as he speaks- "tell me you need me,"
Tears prick your eyes- a mix of desperation and overwhelm taking over your senses completely.
"only you Hosh, I need you- I need you so please-"
"I know, pretty, I know" he interrupts, mumbling against your lips.
"please,"
And with that, Hoshi's all over you like a storm. Feverish hands grip and twist at your dress, yanking it off carelessly. He didn't care if it tore. He didn't care one bit. He'd just buy you five more tomorrow.
What he saw underneath was worth every penny he'd spend on your dresses.
A matching pale pink lingerie set. All for him to see.
"fuck baby, you're- you're killing me" he groans, shoving his face into your covered breasts. He pulls away, taking you in for a moment, before his hands tug eagerly at the fabric, leaving your chest bare.
"so fuckin' pretty, y'know that? y'know how goddamn pretty you are, baby?"
Bashfully, you turn away, biting your lip with a stifled grin.
"I mean it- god, if you could see yourself right now"
"stopp" you whine, covering your face.
He grins before his lips move back to your breasts, swirling his tongue over each nipple, pressing kisses, sucking bruises into the tender flesh.
With every flick of his tongue, you arch off the bed, pressing yourself further into him with a lewd moan. It was true, what he said. Only he can make you feel like this.
Soonyoung travels further south, tracing a path down your breasts to the hem of your panties. He places gentle kisses on your tummy, while his hands move swiftly to reveal what he considers heaven.
Feeling the wetness soaking through the pretty pink fabric, he can't control the groan forcing its way out his throat.
"so wet-" he says, almost frustrated by how perfect you are, "all this for me, baby?"
"mhm- all for y-you Soonie"
You squirm under his touch, feeling particularly ticklish with every soft kiss he places on your skin. That gentle manner is long gone, however, once you're left completely bare. It's as though the sight of your bare cunt flips a switch in his head- turning him into an animal; rough, messy, greedy.
His voice takes on a raspier quality, his breaths turn shallow, his arms tremble as he lowers himself to face your heat.
"oh, you're dripping"
You whine, wiggling your hips to get him to touch you, and he smirks. Large hands splay you open and yank you down by your thighs, straight onto his tongue.
There's no controlling the noises you make now.
You yelp when his tongue makes contact with your clit, toying with it so effortlessly tears well in your eyes. Every flick, every roll of his tongue has shivers running along your skin, with goosebumps all over your body.
"Soonie please- please, please, please-" you moan, unsure of what you're even asking for.
He responds with quicker motions around your clit, slurping loudly at your cunt. A knot builds in your tummy, tightening, tightening, until it's ready to snap.
His lips cradle your clit and provide just a little more stimulation as they suck around you, drawing the sensitive nerves out of hiding.
"d-don't stop fuck- m'gonna,"
All you hear is a hum, muffled by your cunt, shooting vibrations right through you. The added stimulation is exactly what you need, sending you over the edge in record time.
The knot in your stomach snaps, and you moan his name as you come, chanting it like it's all you know- 'Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Soonyoung'
He slips a finger into you, wanting to feel your orgasm. The way you tighten around his digit sends blood rushing to his dick. There was nothing he wanted more than to feel your walls tighten around him, to feel how eagerly you'd keep pulling him back in for more.
"that's it, baby- fuck," he drawls, licking his hands clean, "taste so fucking good"
Rising back to his feet, Soonyoung glances down at you, lips curling at the corners. He unbuttons his shirt, popping each disk off meticulously as he stares down at you.
What a tease.
Your breath hitches when he slips off the fabric, revealing his shockingly sculpted torso. While your boyfriend did appear less muscular than most- owing this to his cute baby face- he was easily one of the most chiseled men you'd seen.
He moves to his jeans next- unbuckling his belt with such dexterity you find yourself even more aroused than before. The button comes undone, zip tugged down, and he steps out of his pants, leaving him in his black boxers as he makes his way back to you.
Firm pectorals greet your eager hands, delicious striations, and defined ridges make your mouth water- god, you could just eat him alive.
"you're staring again" he mumbles, now hovering above you.
"am not" you grin.
"are too"
"am no-"
"shut up," he breathes before pulling you into a messy kiss. It's a clash of tongue and teeth but lord it feels better than anything you've done with anyone else.
Your eyes widen when you feel his cock rubbing up against your folds- when did he lose the boxers?
Before you can even process his speedy undressing, Soonyoung shoves his length into you, earning a particularly loud moan on your part.
He grins against your lips at the sound, and moves back to kiss you properly, now swallowing your whimpers and cries. His hips roll into you, driving his cock further into your cunt and back, repeating the process over and over again.
There's an ease with which he moves into you, like liquid metal. His movements are powerful and fluid, giving you so much pleasure you feel like you're losing your mind.
Sweat collects at his temples as he pounds into you, clumps of hair sticking to his forehead- nothing, no one, could even begin to compare to how gorgeous he is.
He throws your leg over his waist, angling himself deeper, just enough to kiss that spot no one else can. Your head tips back into the pillows, chest heaving as you moan helplessly under him.
"can they make you feel like this?" he rasps, picking up his pace, "can they even come close to how good I'm fucking you?"
"no- no one but you- fuck Soonie don't stop"
Sliding a hand down your torso, Soonyoung rubs tight circles into your clit, sending waves of pleasure rippling over your body. You cry out, back arching off the bed as tears spill from your eyes, staining your rosy cheeks.
"so pretty like this," he grits, "taking me so fucking good-"
You feel yourself right on the edge of pleasure, waiting, anticipating, until you finally fall. A wave of relief washes over you, muscles twitching as you let go. Soonyoung follows right after, gritting his teeth as your walls tighten around him, greedily coaxing out every bit of his release.
"fuck," he breathes, his thrusts growing slower before he stills in you.
He leans his forehead against yours, mumbling "I love you" over and over until you calm down.
"m'gonna run us a bath, kay?"
"mhm"
Lifting himself off of you, Soonyoung heads to the bathroom, to set up. In a couple of minutes, he comes back out with a warm, damp towel in hand, crawling between your legs to gently wipe off the mess you've made.
He cradles your thigh so gently, it makes your heart swell. Each swipe is tender and soft, making sure he doesn't touch you when you're this sensitive.
"thank you," you mumble, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.
He looks up at you, cupping your face right away with concern painted all over his features.
"baby what's wrong? did I do something? did I hurt you?"
"no I just- I just really love you. And I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have you with me"
His face lights up, little crescents forming in his eyes.
"I love you" he grins, "I love you and you're gonna be mine forever"
He pauses to kiss the tip of your nose-
"now c'mere lemme clean you up"
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