#while everyone else sobs in the corner | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inbrightshadows · 11 months

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*sticks one arm out from under my rock, slips this into the tag, and retreats back under my rock* Inspired by the cass apocalyptic series by somerandomdudelmao It's a very very cool rottmnt fancomic and you should give it a read 👉👈🥺 (Not canon but you might recognize some parts/dialogue from the comic) [warning for implied/referenced past infant death but no actual infant death (the boy is fine dw), infected wounds, amputation, and a dog like creature biting someone]

The first time Casey Jr almost dies he's about three months old, by their best guess, and he's only been Casey Jr for a week.

Cassandra and Raph go out on a supply run, which is normal. They come back with a baby in a box, which is not.

Fortunately or unfortunately, there's no such thing as government or paperwork in the apocalypse. So there's nothing stopping Cassandra from saying “I found him in an alley so he's my son now, his name is Cassandra Jr.” And that's that.

Thankfully, this isn't the resistance's first baby so there's plenty of formula and hand me downs to supply Cassandra in her sudden status as a Mom. And everything else the family quickly supplies.

Donnie is very uninterested in babysitting the oozy crotch goblin but Casey Jr's crib still has the genius built logo and built in laser security system to prove he cares in his own way.

Mikey breaks into his carefully rationed paint supply to paint a small mural above the crib and takes every chance to babysit he can.

And Raph? Well Raph dives headfirst into the roll of co-parent slash halway blockade.

Then there's Leo.

In his own words, he has a whole resistance to babysit. And besides that there’s not much he can really do other than what he’s already doing.

Fight the krang, stop the war, give little Casey Jr a better world to grow up in. And also avoid everyone’s efforts to get him to hold the baby.

He is not cut out for tasks that require a delicate touch but it seems like he’s the only one who understands that. He’s a gigantic mutant ninja turtle who, unlike his brothers, has never had any kind of hobby that requires any kind of delicacy. So he hangs back, he keeps an eye out for things that will be useful to the Caseys while he’s out on the surface, and he waves away attempts to hand Jr to him.

And then Casey Jr gets sick.

It should be fine. Should be normal. Babies are delicate little things, getting sick is a thing they do. Except there’s not much the way of medicine in the apocalypse. And babies are delicate.

It starts as a low grade fever. By the end of the day it’s a raging bonfire. They have a lot of things but medicine is in short supply. Nothing they have is working. It’s just Casey Jr, sobbing his heart out on Raph’s shoulder while Cassandra hovers and Raph tries to soothe all three of them.

There’s nothing Leo can do to help. They don’t have the medicine they need to treat the fever. At least not something safe to use on a baby. Raph is the one who remembers how Dad used to use lukewarm baths to break their fevers when they were little and he was still too scared to try human medicine on them. It helps enough that they can get some formula into the kid. But it’s not fixing things.

Two days pass and the fever refuses to break. The baths are becoming less and less helpful. After the third refused feeding attempt that afternoon Donnie slams down a map of ‘areas most likely to contain useful information or materials for treating a sick baby.’

Leo and Mikey gear up and head out leaving Donnie to monitor things back at base while April takes charge of running everything else so that Raph is free to help Cassandra take care of Jr.

It’s bad luck, really, that a pack of krang dogs find their camp on the first night. It should be fine. They should be able to handle it.

But bad luck is bad luck.

Leo sees movement out of the corner of his eye. He moves to dodge and the ground underneath him decides now is a perfect time to give way.

“LEO!” Mikey yells as Leo tumbles away into the dark.

Leo grunts, biting back a scream as the Krang dog’s teeth sink into his arm. They tumble into the dark together, bouncing down the stacks of rubble. It’s dead by the time he lands but the damage is done.

The good news is that the fall kept the dog from getting a good grip on him.

The bad news is that even if the bite won’t infect him with Krang regular infections are different story. Krang zombies have foul mouths.

Mikey can’t find out it managed to bite Leo. If he does he’ll want to go back and get Leo treatment before they look for the medicine.

And right now every second could mean the difference between getting medicine to Casey Jr in time or adding to their graveyard.

So Leo makes sure that by the time Mikey makes it down to him his first aid kit is a good bit lighter and any sign of the bite is hidden beneath his normal arm wraps.

When Mikey finds him Leo smiles and doesn’t hesitate to wrap both arms around his little brother.

“Are you okay- did it bite you?” Mikey asks, darting around him to hunt down every last scrape.

“Nah, just a couple of scratches,” Leo lies. “Let me heal them-” “No, we’ve got a ways to go, I won't risk you wearing yourself out too soon.” “Leo!” “I already used my first aid supplies on them! It’d be a waste if you healed me now!” Mikey glares at him but huffs and nods. “Fine! But if they start to feel bad-” “I’ll tell you, don’t worry,” Leo lies again.

Day two is a bust. There's useful supplies in the area Donnie marked out for them to search, sure, but nothing that will help Casey Jr. Or the sensation of a burn throbbing its way up Leo's hidden bite wound.

Leo and Mikey mark out where the useful things are and keep going. Someone can go back for them when they're less pressed for time.

That night Leo waits for Mikey to fall asleep before he checks the bite. It's bad.

The moment the bandages come off he's gagging at the putrid stink of infection. It's hard to see it in the dark but then again he's not sure he really wants a better look. It wouldn't change his mind anyway.

He can make out the dark veins of infection spreading. If he wasn't green it'd certainly be a violent red.

He cleans it, spreads a thin layer of disinfectant cream that will do about as much good as throwing a cup of water at a bonfire, and re-bandages it.

His usual arm wraps go up over top of it, hopefully Mikey won't notice he's done them a bit higher than normal.

All the evidence goes into the fire. By the time Mikey's turn to take watch comes all that's left is ash.

On day three Leo wakes up feeling like someone dropped a building on him. He makes the mistake of groaning about it.

“Leo? Are you okay?” Mikey asks. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just, uh, I think I’m inheriting Dad’s back problems! That or the Krang made the ground harder.” Mikey snickers. “I mean, they would, but I’m also pretty sure you just called yourself old.” “I did not!” Leo drags himself upright and makes a show of cracking his back. It obliges with a satisfyingly loud pop that makes Mikey giggle harder. “I think your spine disagrees with you too.” “Shut up!” “Awwww are you feeling cranky, old man?”

Leo is too exhausted to feel properly offended or even think of forming a comeback but he plays it up for his little brother anyway.

Anything to keep him from worrying. Or forcing them to turn back. It’s fine. This shouldn’t take too much longer anyway.

It’s midday by the time they reach the second site. Just from a glance it’s obvious this is a more promising site. There are actual chunks of buildings scattered around and there’s enough of a shattered sign left lying around to tell them that whatever kind of care this place used to give it was geared specifically towards children.

There’s plenty to find digging through the rubble. Well. Plenty for Mikey to find. Leo is mostly trying not to let on how dizzy he is.

To both of their frustration, they run out of daylight before they find anything. Leo can feel his body screaming at him to lay down and rest. Just a little longer, he tells his body. They’re going to find the medicine. He can feel it. Leo just needs to make it at least that long.

The fourth day dawns. Mikey shakes him awake as soon as there’s enough light ot see by. Leo bites back a moan as he claws his way upright. Leo thought his arm hurt before but now it feels like someone is pouring lava down it.

He notes with a calmness that boarders on absurdity that he can’t feel his fingers.

Something must show on his face- or maybe he just looks at least halfway as awful as he feels- because Mikey frowns at him when he wakes up.

“I’m worried,” Leo blurts out. “If this takes much longer then- I don’t think- he’s already been sick for so long.” “We’ll find it. Today, I’m sure. I’ve got a good feeling.” Leo tries to smile for him and hopes the shaky thing he offers up is enough. Well. At least one of them is feeling good.

Leo is lucky. He’s always been lucky. Luck runs out eventually, it always does. But not today. Maybe it helps that Leo isn’t hoping for something for nothing. Because on day four they strike gold.

Mikey is a short bit away, digging through the rubble with his power, hunting for anything with even the chance of helping. Leo is doubled over just out of his site, trying to stifle his stomach’s efforts to rebel against him.

Don’t hurl, he tells himself, if you hurl there’s no way Mikey won’t realize something is wrong.

He forces his eyes open, hoping that focusing on something will help. And then Leo’s eyes fall on a shattered glass cabinet, several packs of some something promisingly adorned in cartoon human children. He reaches in, flips it, and feels a wash of relief when he realizes it’s exactly what they’re looking for.

“Mikey- Mikey look-” everything fuzzes, tumbles. There’s something under him. He blinks back blurs of color, tries to resolve them into something coherent. Mikey’s face hovers over him, mouth moving. He looks upset. “What's the matter?” he tries to ask. “Leo! Leo, are you sick? What hurts?” “Arm,” Leo answers without thinking.

Oh shit. Oh shit he’s not supposed to let Mikey know. But it’s a little late for that. At least the panic clears his head a little. Mikey makes a wounded sound in the back of his throat as he uncovers the bite.

“Leo.” “Yeah, I know. Sorry… sorry for lying.” He watches Mikey’s lip wobble until Mikey catches it in his teeth. “Leo this is bad! We- I don’t know if we have the supplies to treat this!” Leo hums. Now that the panic is fading it’s getting so much harder to think. He lifts his good hand before he can forget and flops it over towards Mikey. “S’okay. We can go back now.” Mikey takes the box of medicine with shaky fingers. “Leo,” he croaks.

Mikey is talking. Something… probably important? He looks scared but they’re not under attack. He’s pretty sure they’re not. Leo tries to focus on him anyway but it’s so hard. He’s so tired.

He’s been tired but there was no resting, not properly, not until they got what they needed. They do now so it’s fine, he can rest his eyes a bit.

Good. Seeing is hard too. Just blurs and colors.

He feels Mikey’s hand on his face, his voice in his ears. He tries to pay attention but he’s slipping, sliding away.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, but he’s out before he can think of what, specifically, he’s sorry for.

Leo doesn’t remember the trip back, just the thud of Mikey landing. Someone screaming. A hand squeezing his. Small. Thin fingers. Lots of them.

“April?” he might mumble. He thinks. “Shhh, rest big guy,” Probably-April says. “Donnie has it. He’s gonna fix it.” Oh. That’s good. He lets himself sink, lets her hold him together while he waits for Donnie to do what Donnie does best.

A light in his face. “Am I dying?” he says. Thinks? Someone hisses. Angry sound. Who does that again? “Not if I have anything to say about it. And I have a lot to say about it.” Oh. Donnie is here. That’s good. Didn’t someone say he was coming? “Now go to sleep, you don’t want to be awake for this part.” Leo doesn’t get a chance to answer, he’s already sinking again.

Leo blinks up at the ceiling of Donnie’s lab. He spends a good while just staring at it, trying to get his brain to work. His arm throbs. “Ow.”

Some several things crash and shatter and then Donnie''s face hovers into view. “How do you feel- nauseous? any pain, aches, fever? Chills?” “Uh, my arm hurts a little?”

“Which one? The one that got bit by one of the most disease ridden things in the apocalypse and then went four days without medical care or the other one?” “Hey I did some medical care!” “You did FIRST AID. You know, the thing you do to help someone before you get them ACTUAL MEDICAL CARE.”

Leo winces. There’s no arguing about that one. “Ok well, I was hoping we’d find the medicine and get back before it got too bad.” “Well. You didn’t.” “Yeah, I guess. How long was I out?” he asks. He tries to lift his arm but he can’t feel it move. He frowns. “It… barely hurts anymore. Uh. Donnie? I can’t- Um. Donnie. I can’t feel my arm.”

Donnie’s face twitches. Leo tries to turn his head to look at his arm. Donnie’s hand darts out out to stop him. Leo looks at Donnie again. Donnie looks away, grimacing and refusing to make eye contact.

“Donnie-” “Don’t look yet.” Leo tries to move his arm again but there’s still no response. No it’s not just that there isn’t a response. He can't even feel the weight of it.

He can feel his shoulder. He can feel a ring of throbbing pain a few inches above his elbow. And then it’s just… light? Like there’s nothing but air- oh. Oh. Okay then. There’s where his luck ran out. “...Huh. That’s. Hm. Let me see?” “Leo-” “Donnie. Let me see.” Reluctantly, Donnie eases back.

For a second Leo doesn’t do anything. He closes his eyes and breathes. He turns his head. He opens his eyes.

It’s gone.

Everything past his first crescent marking is gone.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep, measured, breath. Okay, he thinks. Okay. He’s a medic. He knew this was a possibility. Donnie starts eyeing him nervously.

“Did he make it?” Leo asks at last. “...Yeah he made it,” Donnie says quietly. Leo feels like he's fully breathing out for the first time since Cassandra burst into the infirmary with a sick baby in her arms. "Good. That's good." Donnie puts his hand over the end of Leo's nub, covering the scar. He stares at the floor and says nothing. Silence reigns. Leo stares up at the ceiling, letting it settle around them.

Until the door slams open and the rest of his family tumble through the door, both Caseys included.

The last knot of tension loosens from him at the sight of Casey Jr, happily wiggling in his mom’s arms as he flails his arms at Raph.

He tears his eyes away as his family gathers around him, worried and loud, and Leo only knows one way to calm them down.

“So. I’m guessing I'm the opposite of... All Right now, huh?” Cassandra covers Casey Jr's ears. Donnie leans away, inhaling sharply. “Why are you like this?“ he asks. “Because it's all I've got... Left” Raph groans, hiding his face in his hands. “Already?” “Put him back under,” April says, deadpan. “Boooo,” Mikey says, and Leo pretends he doesn’t sound two steps away from tears. “I hate you so much,” Donnie lies, a few screens manifesting around him. He taps away with the hand that isn't still covering the scar on what remains of Leo's arm while Leo laughs at his own terrible jokes.

“You no longer have a choice about getting a prosthetic. Mikey tried to say I had to ask before implanting experimental technology in your body but you know what? I’m making an executive decision. I can’t live with the puns.”

Leo starts laughing harder, so hard that it circles right back around to sobbing. He’s buried in a pile before the first sob can even fully leave him. Donnie’s eyes stay on the screen even as he shifts his hand to Leo’s shoulder and squeezes. “I’ll fix it. Don’t worry.”

Leo spends a lot of time sleeping but he’s never alone when he wakes up.

There’s Raph, showing off the balls he’s threading onto his mask tails so Casey Jr can climb them while Cassandra sits nearby, once more restitching her perpetually tearing sleeves on her shirts.

He wakes to Mikey making little fish or birds dance in the air while Casey Jr sits in his lap and reaches for them.

Or there’s April pouring over battle plans with a mug in one hand and the other wrapped around Casey Jr.

Point is there’s a lot of Casey Jr. So Leo really should be prepared to wake up with a tiny weight on his chest, healthy and safe and sound. And still so very tiny. His breath hitches, he doesn’t dare move.

“Bemused scoff.”

Leo carefully turns his head toward where Donnie is busily typing away at something.

“You know you can’t avoid holding him forever. Even I've held him." Leo gives Donnie the flattest look he can manage. Sure. Donnie has held Casey Jr. Once in a blue moon when there was literally no one else to do it (and Leo's hands were firmly tucked under his arms.) For about sixty seconds total. "...I've held him more than you have.”

Leo grimaces. “Look, I wasn’t cut out for holding delicate stuff when I had two arms. It’s an even worse idea now that I’m twice as likely to drop him.”

“Invalid excuse. I’m already working on a solution to your arm situation.” Donnie waves his hands and his ninpo sparks, building a blue print of an arm and some other thing hovering in the air between them.

“These are the schematics for a bio-mechanical arm and a socket implant to allow it to safely interface with your nero-” Leo’s brain glazes over the rest of Donnie’s explanation.

“...So you want to turn me into a kick ass cyborg?” he asks as soon as Donnie is done. “Did you listen to none of what I just said?” “C’mon, Don, I’ve got you for all the nerd stuff.” “Exasperated sigh, yes I’m turning you into a kick ass cyborg.” “Sweet,” Leo says, yawning. Donnie huffs. “Go back to sleep, Nardo.” “Can’t, baby could fall,” Leo mumbles. “I won’t let him fall. Just rest.” And Leo trusts his brother. So he does.

It takes a frustratingly long time for Leo to recover enough for the surgery to implant the port for the arm in his stump. It’s more low profile than he expected, hardly noticeable at all unless you’re looking head on at it.

Then there’s a whole other saga of learning how to use the arm Donnie has built him. It’s clunkier than Donnie’s preferred standards but it works almost as seamless as his real one. He gets good with it and he gets good with it fast because with the Krang you either do it fast or you don’t do it all.

The unintended and unwanted side effect of this is that now his family are no longer accepting “I’m not good enough with my arm I might drop him” as a valid excuse to not hold Casey Jr.

And they are very, very, intent on getting him to hold Casey Jr.

Look. Leo is thanking sweet pizza supreme in the sky and every one of the Hamato ancestors, Casey Jr bounces back from being sick like it never happened.

He bounces and wiggles, he babbles and giggles, as though less than a week or so ago he wasn’t so sick that Leo and his family (literally) risked life and limb to get him medicine. And Leo is thrilled. Really.

It’s just that he wishes his family would stop encouraging Casey Jr’s newest favorite game- trying to grab Leo. Because apparently one of any baby’s favorite thing is whatever they can’t have.

“Here! Hold him!” Mikey holds Casey out so that he faces Leo. Casey Jr, who seems to have a sixth sense for when someone is playing the 'try to get Casey close enough to touch Leo' game, is thrilled. His tiny arms wave at Leo, itty-bitty fingers clenching like they’re ready to latch on the second they’re close enough to touch him.

“W-wait, I can’t!” Leo protests for the thousandth time. But Mikey isn’t taking no for an answer this time. A nudge of mystic power keeps Leo from fleeing. All Leo can do is tuck his dangerous un-baby proofed metal arm away from tender baby skin and wave his flesh hand pleadingly.

“C’mon Leo… you have to hold him eventually.” Mikey cajoles, gently waggling Casey Jr.

“Not happening, no way.” Leo leans back as far as Mikey’s powers will let him.

“Yes way,” Mikey says, holding Casey closer and closer. Casey is giggling furiously, tiny arms flying at top speed.

“Do you even see how tiny he is?” Leo points at the baby, just in case Mikey needs a reminder. “I could break him with one finger!” There’s a tiny nudge to said finger. Leo looks down. Casey Jr is copying him, nudging Leo’s much larger finger with his own.

Mikey gets a look on his face. A terrible, evil, look.

“One finger? Like thiiiiis one?” Mikey grins as he lifts his middle fingers away from Casey Jr’s body. Leo freezes. “Mikey. Mikey no.”

“Whats that? Oh nooooo.... I can’t hear you over the sound of my grip slipping!” Mikey sing-songs. “Don’t you dare!” Leo stares at him, horrified and frozen. He won’t. Surely he won’t. Cassandra would murder him. Raph would double murder him. He wouldn't. Right? Right??? “Oh no! I hope someone catches the poor delicate baby!” And then Mikey drops Casey Jr.

Leo shrieks. He forgets that Mikey is literally magic and does not need his hands to hold a building, much less a baby.

“Mikey what the fuck!” Leo squawks, hands flying forward and closing around the tiny delicate bundle that is- … not falling towards the ground at all actually.

The gears turn, the realization that he's been tricked sets in. Leo glares at Mikey. Mikey grins, unrepentant, and waves his faintly glowing hands, a glow also present around a perfectly safe Casey Jr. The glow vanishes and Leo feels the surprisingly greater weight of the baby properly in his hands for the first time.

“Ahhhh Mikey- Mikey take him back!” Mikey stubbornly keeps his hands in the air and backs away, still grinning. “You’re fine, you’ve got this.” “I don’t have this!” in spite of saying this Leo is already tucking Casey closer to him. “It’s fiiinnne, you're doing fine! Look, he’s having a great time!”

Tiny clumsy fingers hit his jaw, drawing his eyes down. Casey Jr has one hand buried in Leo’s scarf. The other is pressed to the highest part of Leo’s face it can reach. As he looks down they stretch up, reaching for the vibrant red markings on his face.

“Ah- what- what does he want?” “Awww he likes your stripes, hold him higher!”

Hesitantly, Leo shifts the baby a little higher in his arms and Casey’s little fingers smack against his markings, clenching against them as best the pudgy little things can. Leo chuckles. “What? You want those? Hate to break it to you bud but they’re kind of attached to me.” Big dark eyes lock onto his. Casey Jr babbles. His little fingers flex against Leo’s face again.

Someone makes a noise like a slowly deflating balloon. Leo looks up to find Raph has found them. He’s standing in the doorway, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“Please tell me Donnie has a good angle on this,” he says, voice wobbling. Raph’s com clicks on and switches itself to speaker mode. “Sending you the best shots as I speak,” says Donnie’s voice. “I hate all of you,” Leo lies. Mikey snickers at him, Raph is too busy cooing to reply. And then Casey Jr realizes Raph is there and decides he’s done being held by Leo. He leans his entire body toward Raph and puts all of his tiny baby might into wiggling free of Leo's grip.

“Oh fuck-” “Don’t cuss in front of the baby!” “Raph. Raph.” “You’re doing fine, relax-” “He’s gonna fall! I’m gonna drop him- Raph!” Raph easily scoops Casey Jr up, saving Leo from the terrifying force of a wiggly baby.

Casey Jr giggles and grabs for Raph’s mask tails while Leo dramatically flops to the floor. Mikey continues to snicker at Leo’s expense, floating over to pat his head.

“I can’t believe you pretended to drop him just to trick me into holding him,” Leo groans. “You what?” Raph’s head snaps over to them. Mikey freezes. “I had mystic hands on him the whole time!” “Baby holding is a two hand activity!” “You literally hold him with one hand!” “Raph’s hand is big enough to count as two!” “Oh that is so not fair!” “... Leo watch the little man for a minute.” Raph sets Casey Jr down by Leo’s head. Leo makes an inarticulate sound of horror but before he can protest Raph is already bolting for Mikey.

Mikey flees with a yelp. Leo looks at Casey Jr. Casey Jr looks at him. “So, you come here often?” Casey Jr stuffs his fist in his mouth and makes a garbled noise around it, almost recognizable as a very turtle like chirp. Leo checks that his brothers are out of ear shot and then chirps back. Casey Jr’s eyes widen and sparkle. He takes his damp hand out of his mouth and smacks Leo in the face with it. Leo grimaces. “Thanks.” In the distance, Mikey screams as Raph catches him but it's just as quickly followed by laughter.

Casey Junior grows up in between loss and stolen joy and forgotten childhood memories. He gets old enough to ask questions. Inevitably, the day comes when he asks “Sensei, how did you lose your arm?”

And Leo lies.

Or, well… He doesn’t lie so much as he just… leaves out some details. Details Casey Jr does not and will not ever know if Leo gets his way.

“Ah, you know… Krang dog got a lucky bite in. By the time I got back to base it was the arm or me and Donnie chose me.” He says it with a light little shrug, like it’s no big deal.

Because for Leo, it’s not a big deal. Between losing an arm and losing family he’d chose the arm over and over again.

#rottmnt #Cass apocalyptic series #rottmnt casey jr #rottmnt future leo #I did not mean for this to be so long help #ahhhh i hope this is ok and doesn't come off as weird or anything #Originally it was just going to be Leo's family tricking him into holding the baby but then I got an Idea #and then the idea got Really Really big...#my writing

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ichorai · 1 year

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spiderling ; peter parker.

sequel to particles!

pairing ; peter parker x stark!reader

synopsis ; peter was supposed to find you after strange wiped everyone's memory of him away. instead, you found him.

words ; 2.0k

themes ; angst, mild fluff and comedy

warnings / includes ; lots of feels crammed into this, peter is a flustered mess, reader is an insanely smart kid of tony’s, mentions of may and the rest of the spidey gang :(

main masterlist.

Ever since Peter had asked Strange to wipe the entire world’s memory of him, things had been… uneventful to say the least. He studied, he worked two boring jobs for a low minimum wage, and he visited May’s grave every afternoon.

There wasn’t much else to do when nobody knew him as Peter Parker.

Sometimes, he’d go out in his itchy, make-shift spider suit that he’d fashioned with bright fabrics from a corner store that also sold his most favorite orange-flavored popsicles, stopping common crime as the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Other than that… he slept. He played Crossy Road on his phone—or he’d rewatch the Star Wars movies for the billionth time.

He thought of his best friends, Ned and MJ. He thought of his brothers, Peter 2 and 3. He thought of his Aunt May, and Happy, who visited her grave almost as frequently as he did. He thought of the closest thing he had to a father figure, Tony Stark. He thought of Mr. Stark’s oldest kid—which he used to refer to as his significant other.

The love of his life.

Y/N Stark.

Peter missed you. He missed you more than anything in the entire world. He missed your wide smile and the specific way you’d throw your head back and laugh so hard you’d be grabbing onto his arm, gasping for breath. He missed how you’d press your chest into his back and kiss along his neck while he did his physics homework, quietly mumbling corrections to his calculations when he’d distractedly scribbled down the wrong formula. He missed how Mr. Stark would pull him to the side to give him the ‘Responsible Dad Talk’ just about every time the two of you hung out together, and how you’d have to tell your dad that you could make your own decisions and you didn’t need him to hover over the two of you.

Besides, you used to say with a soft smile, it’s Peter. You know Peter. He’s… he’s Peter. He’d never hurt me, pops.

But he did hurt you. He erased all the memories you had together—he completely wiped himself out of your life.

You loved him—and he had taken that away from you.

“I love you,” you had whispered into him as you hugged him tight, a tear slipping down the corner of your misty eyes. Peter wrapped his arms around your waist and held you all the closer. “Come back to me, Peter. Or… or I swear to fucking God—I’ll find you myself and—”

Your words died on your tongue as he surged forward and kissed you, hard and desperate. The kiss tasted of salt from your tears, of coppery blood from his throbbing, split lip. Neither of you cared.

You hiccupped a sob when he reluctantly pulled away, pressing one last kiss to your grimy forehead, before letting you go entirely. He turned before he could see you crumpling into MJ and Ned, who had roped you into a pained embrace, your shoulders trembling with wracking cries.

That was five months ago. Five months after Strange wiped everybody’s memories of him.

He’d wanted to find you again—he really did. Obviously, you were an extremely busy person, not only being the oldest kid of Tony Stark, but also a genius student, a researcher, the heir of an entire company, and an older sibling to Morgan. But, if he was completely honest, he didn’t really know what to say.

Hey, I’m Peter Parker and I’m in love with you, but I never got the chance to tell you because this wizard that’s sort of a friend of your dad’s erased everyone’s memory of me because the multiverse broke and a bunch of bad guys from other universes slipped into ours because I ruined my friend’s chances of getting into their dream college—

Yeah. That wouldn’t really work out, would it?

So he put it off.

Put it off for a week, which rolled into two, which became three, which became three months.

All of a sudden, it was summer, and he still hadn’t seen you.

He made sure to go to the coffee shop MJ worked at, just to see how she and Ned were faring. From what he heard while he eavesdropped—they were doing great at MIT.

Peter tried his best to keep up with you through those news articles that kept flashing him ads like You Wouldn’t Believe What This Celebrity Looks Like Without Makeup! or Learn All About Steve Rogers’ Exercise Routine!

There wasn’t much that he could find about you, other than a couple pictures of you with your little sister, Morgan, chowing down on cheeseburgers at McDonald’s. After all, you’d always been a rather private person, which was the one jarring difference between you and your infamously public father.

Your social medias were, expectedly, all privated. Peter doubted you’d accept his follow request, anyway.

It was an ordinary Tuesday—Peter had a shift at a car garage in a couple hours, which left him quite a bit of time to burn. He had ACDC softly playing in the background—a band that both you and your dad had been completely infatuated with—half a dozen books spread out around him as he multi-tasked studying new chemical compounds for his web fluid, and rotational mechanics for an upcoming exam.

Then, much to his surprise, the doorbell rang.

It’s probably the landlord, Peter thought with a grimace, thinking of the old woman who always had a cigarette between her coarse fingers, despite her own strict policy of no smoking in the building. He turned the music down to a low thrum, before swinging the door open.

And… there you were.

Peter could feel his heart drop to the floor.

You were… God, you were beautiful. There wasn’t much about you that changed—you got a new pair of glasses, he could see, and you’d cut your hair shorter. There was a tattoo peeking slightly out of your loose-hanging t-shirt etched over your skin, depicting a sketch of an arc reactor, in memory of your late father.

Besides that, you were the very same. The same bright, intelligent eyes, the same lips that puckered ever so slightly to the side in thought, and the same brows that knitted together whenever you were concentrating.

Your hands were shoved into your jeans as you cocked your head, studying him with narrowed eyes.

“Erm,” Peter started, mouth opening and closing as his brain struggled to comprehend that you were here. In the flesh. Fuck, you were gorgeous. “Wh… Y/N?”

Your eyebrow arched high up, closer to your hairline. “First name basis already, huh?”

“I’m—”

“You’re the Spiderling, aren’t you?” you asked abruptly, nearly giving him whiplash. Before he could say anything else, you were swiping your phone open, a hologram of a Youtube video playing right in front of his face. The video displayed Spider-Man swinging from building to building, stopping a car from ramming into an elderly woman crossing the street with nothing but brute strength. Peter didn’t even remember that happening. To him, that was just an ordinary day. “That must’ve been, what—like, thirty-five hundred pounds, about fifty miles an hour? Impressive.”

“Wh—”

You brushed past him into his tiny apartment. Peter cursed himself for not throwing away the pizza boxes stacked on his kitchen counter, and for leaving his sketches of web shooters out on his desk.

A small smile graced your lips as you spotted the blue and red scrap fabrics discarded into the trash can. “Hm. You make your own suit? My dad did, too. God—are those goggles?” You picked up his vision goggles from his unmade bed, peering through them as you snorted in amusement. “How on earth do you see anything though these?”

“I—”

You turned to him with an intrigued grin. “I’m sure you already know who I am, seeing as you knew my dad. It’s nice to finally meet you, Spiderling.”

Peter blinked. The overwhelming sense of deja vu washed over him like a tidal wave—you were behaving eerily similar to when Mr. Stark had approached him to go to Germany back in 2016.

“I… how…”

“What’s your name?” you asked, gingerly stepping over his textbooks to stare at his pinboard, where his calendar hung.

“Peter,” he finally mumbled in reply, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. “And it’s Spider-Man, not Spiderling. What are you doing here? I mean, not that I don’t want you here, but, uhm—how did you find me?”

You looked over your shoulder with a knowing glint to your eyes. “I keep tabs on everybody my dad used to work with. Honestly, it wasn't too difficult to track you down—given the radius of where Spider-Man usually frequents and his response times to local crimes, it was easy to pinpoint where you lived. After my AI ran a couple voice recognition tests and estimated bodily proportions, that led me right to you.” You leaned against his rickety wooden desk with a curious grin. “Thought you’d be a bit older, though. Looks like you’re around my age.”

“I… that’s… wow.”

Wrinkling your nose in amusement, you turned back to his full calendar.

Peter prayed you wouldn’t flip over to your birthday month—he’d circled your birthday with bright red sharpie and drew loopy hearts all over the little square. Thankfully, you stopped skimming through, pausing at the relatively empty weeks where he had nothing planned other than a few work shifts.

“Looks like you’re free from school in a couple weeks,” you said. “I know this is really sudden and very abrupt of me, but—I’d love to offer you a job at Stark Labs. You must be crazy smart to design synthetic webs with a Young’s modulus that’s off the charts. Could really use that brain of yours at my company. Plus, you’ve got a lot of work experience in the bag.”

There was a beat of silence. Peter stared at you with parted lips.

A bit more timidly, you added on, “And… it’d be nice to work with someone that knew my dad.”

Well, Peter didn’t want to brag, but he’d definitely say that he didn’t only just know Tony Stark. But you didn’t need to know that right at this moment.

“Yes,” he blurted out, a bit louder than necessary. “Are you kidding me? That’s… that’s amazing! Yeah, oh my God, I’d love to! Thank you!”

Before he could stop himself, his body moved out of pure muscle memory and excitement, stepping forward to wind his arms around you, squeezing you tightly. Your familiar perfume made his eyes well with tears—fuck, he missed you so fucking much.

“Oh—” you began to say, muscles tensing. “Okay, then. You’re welcome, pal.”

Rouge flushed hotly over his cheeks as he realized that you weren’t his significant other anymore—in your mind, this was the first time the two of you were meeting. Quickly, he let you go, backing away with a grimace.

“Sorry,” he winced. “Sorry, I just—”

“Have we met before?” you asked, cutting him off. “I don’t know… it just feels like… nevermind. I’d probably remember a cute face like yours.”

Peter’s face burned an even brighter shade of red.

“Here’s my contact information. I’ll send you any contracts, NDAs, legality issues, dates for any research projects you might be interested in joining, payment negotiations, all that jazz,” you told him, placing a card onto his desk. “I look forward to working with you, Patrick.”

“Peter,” he corrected.

A smile played with the corner of your lips. “Right. Peter. Nice music taste, by the way. I love ACDC—I can see why my dad liked you so much.”

With that, you ambled over his scattered belongings on the floor, flashing him one last beam, before striding straight out the door.

Peter stared at the open doorway for a minute—or was it an hour? He really couldn’t tell.

He collapsed into his bed, the goggles you’d dangled digging into his back. He arched up just enough to pull it away, clutching it to his chest with a goofy smile.

You found him.

Against all odds, you’d found him.

Fuck, Peter loved you so much.

Telling you though—now that was a different story entirely. One that Peter knew was going to take time.

But for you…

He’d wait centuries.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x you #marvel fanfiction #peter parker angst #marvel angst #mcu!peter x reader #peter parker fluff #mcu!peter parker #mcu!peter parker fanfiction #spiderman x reader #spider-man x reader #spiderman fanfiction #spider-man fanfiction #spiderman fluff #spiderman angst #peter parker x stark!reader

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athynathens · 4 months

Text

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ surprise, princess.

“If I were to flatten my tongue in this delicate pussy of yours, would you cry or mewl?”

PAIRING. Bakugo Katsuki x You/Reader

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. This oneshot covers the My Hero Academia AU. In this universe, Bakugo Katsuki is already a pro hero, but you/reader is a popular actress.

SYNOPSIS. As an actress, your job is to entertain and give content through acting. This also includes fanservice which you don’t mind. However, the only boundary you have is that you refuse to make any pornographic scenes with anyone in the movies or shows because you are only bound to your husband. But, some lunatic decided to disregard your boundary and forces you to film such a scene. Just how exactly will your husband react to this?

WARNING. minors dni, 18+ scenes, mature scenes ahead such as rough sex, cunnilingus, blowjobs, deepthroating, fingering, edging, humiliation, dirty talk, roleplay, knife play, dry humping, passionate kissing

AUTHOR’S NOTES. Idk yall, this scene just happened to popped out my head while rewatching bha lol. Besides, it sounds hot and has an intriguing plot too? So why not decide to make my imagination a reality….through writing lmao. Also please don’t attack me with my shitty smut…it’s been a while since I’ve honestly written one so go easy on me :)

You were beyond irritated, however, you stopped yourself from showing a foul expression in front of the director. This stupid son of a bitch wants you to film a sex scene for the TV series that they are currently filming. His stupid damn reason is fanservice — not that it’s a bad thing since it’s already a norm in this society, but you have boundaries when it comes to fanservices. Your only boundary is that you refuse to film pornographic scenes with anyone because your body is only for your dear husband, Bakugo Katsuki.

“With all due respect, Mr. Director, I already mentioned that I absolutely refused to film such a scene with someone else,” You reminded, praying and asking quietly for help to keep her sanity.

“Oh come on now! Your beauty is such a waste! You should share whatever you have underneath those clothes to everyone, you know?” The director grinned, looking at you up and down, analyzing you like some kind of meat.

Hold back. Hold back. Hold your fucking mouth back. “You flatter me too much. But, I still stand by my words. I refuse to film such a scene. I have my rights when it comes to choices like this,” You firmly said with a smile.

“Don’t give me that bullshit! You wanna talk about choices?! I make your choices! I make all of your choices! I don’t even know why I asked you! When I say you are filming the fucking scene, you are filming the goddamn scene! You understand, bitch?” He screamed, throwing his folder to the ground, causing everyone to flinch, but they resumed their tasks. This is a normal thing in sets so it isn’t anything special, but to think this yelling is about some narcissistic asshole who thinks the world revolves around him.

The director took a deep breath before continuing, “Your scene tomorrow will be about a gladiator from Rome who’s been in love with you so he decided that he wanted to taste you when you go back to your room in the palace. Is that clear?”

Go to hell, you stupid brainless motherfucking— “Crystal Clear.”

The director’s angry expression turned into a satisfying expression. He placed his hands on top of your shoulders. “I knew you were a good girl,” He said darkly, caressing your shoulders. “I’m sorry if I screamed. Although, I wouldn’t even be screaming if you just listened like the good little girl you are, hm?”

Die, you goddamn extra. “Yes, that was my mistake,” You smiled, trying your best to hold back a fucking punch.

The director gave her one last smile then left her to dismiss everyone on set. After that, the rest of the day just became worse for you. You spent the rest of the night just crying and sobbing at the corner of your hotel room while eating ice cream and throwing candy wrappers around. You wanted to call your husband, but you didn’t want to disturb him either since he is probably doing patrols in Japan.

“Stupid fucking director! If I only knew his attitude was like this then I should have never said yes to this fucking series!” You sniffled, getting a tissue to wipe away your tears and snots.

“AND! If only I wasn’t intrigued by the plot then, none of this would even happen! Here I thought, being away from my husband will be a pain! BUT NOOO!! Turns out! This stupid director is the real pain!” You cried out, throwing the tissue on the floor, and stomping your feet on the ground.

The TV series is called The Tyrant. It’s about the middle princess of the Roman Empire falling in love with a tyrant of a king in Greece. And since this is in the Roman/Greek setting, you can say there are a lot of sex scenes, but you’ve managed to get away from them. This is all because of the character you’re playing; your character is the sister of the Tyrant King who has the reputation of being hard on men. And, because she’s the tyrant’s sister, she’s basically untouchable.

The vibrations of your phone caused you to groan in frustration, standing up from the floor as you wobbled towards the bed to get your phone.

You only choked on your saliva to see the name. “WHAT? ITS MEH HUSBAND?!?!” You screamed in shock, losing your balance a bit and fell down to the floor.

You cursed at your stupidity, sitting back up as you fixed yourself and took a deep breath before answering the call.

“Hey, ‘Suki!! Why are you calling??” You asked, acting cheerful.

Katsuki only chuckled. “Am I not allowed to call my wife?”

Your cheeks flushed in redness. “Yes. I MEAN! No! You are allowed! Sorry! It’s just that…isn’t it late morning in Japan? During that time, you are doing patrols.”

For some reason, Katsuki’s husband's instincts activated. He can sense something is wrong with his wife. You may be a good actress, but you sure as hell can’t hide nor act away your true feelings from Katsuki.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry to break the mood, but are you alright?” Katsuki asked straightforwardly. If there is one thing he learned about relationships is when communicating, don’t beat around the fucking bush — explode your way right through it! Katuski’s words, not mine.

Your silence only confirmed Katsuki’s suspicion. “Baby, turn on your camera.”

“I-I don’t think it’s a good id—don’t make me repeat,” You shivered at this rough tone, gulping at the thought that you had to reveal your hideous self to your lover.

You hesitantly turned on the camera to see a sweaty Katsuki in his hero suit. Your cheeks flared a bit after seeing your husband’s hot state, but at the same time, you were relieved to see your husband again after 2 months apart. Katsuki fumed red to see his cute wife in this state. His veins popped out his forehead as his jaw flexed in anger — he needed to know who the hell messed with the wife of Dynamight.

“Who?” Katsuki growled angrily.

You shook your head. “Katsuki, it doesn’t even matter—everything that involves you fucking matters to me! So you better start telling me, who has hurt my wife?”

Your mouth left a sigh, refusing to even look into his intense gaze. It’s a bit funny because if she was actually in front of Katsuki, he wouldn’t have shifted your head to make you look at him. Thank the lord that he isn’t in front of you at the moment, right?

With that, you started to tell your husband everything — from the shitty director to the tantrums you made in your hotel room.

Yet, as you were explaining, Katsuki remembered the day you announced that you refused to make pornographic scenes with anyone, and this boosted his love for you even more. As the years progressed, you managed to become famous without making such a scene. You even became famous for acting in known movies of today such as Attack on Titan, Haikyuu, and others. Katuski was really proud that you made it to the top, proving to those worthless extras that you are more than just a pretty face. But as you grew more popular, the increase of demands to see you in an R-18 movie really got him possessive and jealous.

Everytime he would go on patrols, he would hear comments about his wife’s physical appearance. He heard many inappropriate and vulgar phrases that boiled his blood. But due to his hero reputation, he couldn’t just blast them off as he used to in highschool. Hence, he would often just glare down on them at such intensity. This was his only limit to tell those horny assholes off.

However, he fucking almost lost it when he heard from Izuku that the paparazzi are taking pictures of his own wife inappropriately. Of course he took action with this through court, but it wasn’t enough to soothe his frustration.

He gets super annoyed by the fact these extras think that they have a chance with you. He gets really pissed with men who ask him about his wife as if he wasn’t the husband. He gets so frustrated when girls clung up to him when they all know he’s fucking taken. He gets truly angry when people don’t know their fucking place.

“What should I do, ‘Suki?” Katuski’s train of thoughts were interrupted by your sweet voice.

The blond paused for a moment, analyzing his wife’s reactions, expressions, movements. With that, he came up with the only conclusion that will help his wife and satisfy his frustration with those pathetic extras going after his wife.

“Go to set tomorrow. I’ll deal with the problem myself,” Katsuki declared evidently, confusing you literally with what he's planning.

“Okay? Sure? But tell me what you are going to do!! So we can be on the same page!!” You asked, hoping he will answer your question.

“Just so what you always do, bunny,” Katsuki grinned.

“Act”

Your head tilted to the side, frowning in confusion as you tried to ask more questions on what’s his alibi. But he proceeded to say his goodnight and love yous before ending the call. Once again, you had the biggest “huh” plastered on your face, and the question only repeats in your head…

— what’s gonna happen tomorrow?

The next day came like a fucking flash, and you did exactly what your husband asked you to do. However, as soon as you got there, the staff just pushed you to the make-up room to prepare you. As the makeup is being done, you read the script, and you swear to Katsuki’s abs, you need to bleach your eyes with holy water. You wanted to choke in disgust with this unholy script. It’s kinda ironic given that she has done this before but only with her husband! Not with some random extra!

The staff now motioned you to dress up for the shoot. Right now, you’re really expecting that Katsuki will barge in the shooting scene and blast the director to bits. He used to do something as violent as that during your highschool days, but he stopped now that he’s a pro hero.

You stare at the mirror to see you are in your white long dress with a cape behind you, however, your back is seen by everyone. Your hair is styled with curls and has the golden leaf tiara on your head with some bangs on the front. You look beautiful, but to think you would show this beauty to someone who’s not your husband. Your eyes quivered, wanting to cry at that thought, but you held back.

You began to think, “I thought ‘Suki will do something?”

A knock on the door caught your attention, diverting your eyes to the door to see the staff asking you to take position on set. The staff also mentioned, to lift up your mood, that the director looks very pale for some reason. The staff joked that he probably met a monster or something. You giggled at the staff’s words, and it helped lift up your mood a bit.

After minutes of last minute touches with the settings and make up. Every actor went to their places as cameras began to start rolling in…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

ACTION!

“Oh by the Gods! That impudent brother of mine will never learn how to treat a lady right! Tell me Zeus! What did my brother do in his past life to bear such attitude?” You rubbed the temples of your nose as you walked through the corridors of this magnificent hall of the Roman Empire.

“Brother, I did not spend 6 months in this empire of unholiness for you to lose your lover in one sitting…” You muttered quietly, disappointed at how your dear brother treated the middle princess harshly.

“Your highness!” An attendant screamed.

You turned your head to see your personal secretary running to you with loads of papers. “What’s wrong? What has my absurd brother done again?”

The attendant let out a sweat. “You are right that it is your brother, my princess, but it’s more than that,” The latter hyperventilated. “It turns out that your mother threatens your brother to leave his lover at once or else Rome will face the consequences. I even heard that it was ordered by you.”

You let out a small growl, veins popping though your forehead. “This is what mother wants. A war between Greek and Rome for power and a war between siblings for the throne. She knows that I am the only one who is capable of stopping my brother, hence why she is using that advantage.”

“That foul ungrateful woman!” The attendant cursed.

“Indeed she is. Rest assured that I will work on a solution, but now I must return to my chambers to rest for today was tiring,” You said, gesturing to her room with her head.

“Of course, princess. Have a good rest.”

With that, you exited the scene to return to your resting chambers. Your room is an open area with the great columns surrounding the room. You were smart enough to choose a room with a great valley view and is not easily peaked through by anyone. In the middle of the room is a big circular sunken bathtub with rose petals. Your bed is found at the side with large tables filled with papers and books. You only sighed tiredly, walking to your table as you removed the tiara in your head.

That’s when you heard the doors opening.

“Perfect timing! Please tell the rest of the maids to prepare my bathing tools. I will be bathing myself today also so—” You gasped loudly when a pair of large but familiar hands grabbed your tits from behind.

Oh, you are so going to kill the actor for touching you vulgarly.

But before you can even react, those hands immediately pull your nipples, causing you to grit your teeth as you arch your back. A rough arm circled around your waist as the other hand squeezed your one tit with all his might. You gasped at this familiar sensation. This only caused you to think because this familiar sensation is only given to you by your husband…

…but there’s no way that Bakugo Katsuki is in Rome?

That’s when you heard a familiar dark chuckle. “My, oh my, princess.” Your eyes quivered at that familiar rough tone. His familiar hands grabbed both your tits once more, squeezing it but also spreading them apart, causing you to whimper.

“Who would have thought, hm?” You quivered violently as your head looked back to see a familiar blond hair. “That the great warrior princess of Greece would make such an erotic sound?”

You turned pale, freezing on the spot to see your one and only husband behind you — touching, staring, groping you.

“H-How are you he—” A large mouth held your jaw tightly, covering your mouth. Your body hair stood up at this sensation, as you stared at his intense and lustful gaze.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, princess. Don’t ask stupid questions. It’s better to worry about what's happening in front of you now.” You got caught off guard with what he said, realizing that he’s indirectly telling you to continue acting, and asking for questions is for later.

Shit! What was my line? BKBJWOWP!?! Damn you, Katsuki for being too hot! “You insolent peasant! How dare you touch someone superior to you!” You managed to speak out, despite the pleasure you are receiving from your husband.

“Superior?” He lets out a laugh, bending you with his bulky chest. “I believe that it is, I..” He whispered to your ear, fondling your tits more.

“…am superior to you.” He growled inhumanly, pushing you towards your desk. You attempted to get up, but he pinned you harder to the desk. This only brought pain to your pelvic bone and breast. Bakugo looked down to lick his lips, witnessing your struggles.

He grabbed his dagger from his sandals, spinning it around before landing the tip in your back. You shuddered below him, feeling the sharp object traced your exposed back. “Fuck, princess. Did you have any idea how much this outfit of yours arouses me? Your fucking exposed skin is asking to be touched.”

“T-That wasn’t even my intention to do—” You gasped loudly when he traced the dagger lower, circling it as he placed a bit more pressure.

“Don’t lie to me, princess. Bet you’ve been wanting men to fuck you right there? Maybe that’s the reason why you’ve been wearing such clothes…” He grinned, putting the dagger down. You immediately shook your head to respond to his question, but he gripped your soft hips, pulling them closer to his hard bulge. Your eyes went wide to feel how hard and big he is.

You turned your head to the side with the support of your shaking arms to see the huge tip poking up your ass cheeks. “Yeah, that’s right. Fucking see how hard you made me,” Katsuki licked his lips with such tantalization.

He spread your asscheeks apart to make room for the rest of his cock. You tried to grip something — anything — for support, and you ended up gripping a book. Katsuki threw his head back, feeling his cock wrapped around your warm asscheeks. “Fuckkkk, princess. This is way better than my fantasies.”

You flinched violently under him, which Katsuki noticed. His expression turned into a twisted expression, grinning psychotically at your reaction. He bent down till his bare chest touched your exposed back, he traced your stomach to your neck, wrapping his fingers around it.

He brought his head closer to your ear and whispered, “Did you like the idea of me having fantasies about you, hm?”

You were about to respond when he spoke again. “I fantasize about you every night. My cock throbs for you, princess. I would relieve myself almost everyday, trying to imagine what your walls would feel around me. I often think of ways on how to ravish your body in different positions. My mouth yearns for the taste of your exquisite pussy. Tell me, princess. If I were to flatten my tongue in this delicate pussy of yours, would you cry or mewl?”

“I-I don’t know…” You muttered softly, gripping whatever you are holding tighter.

Katsuki’s eyes looked at the wall near your bed. He grinned sinfully, already having an idea. “Let’s find out, shall we?”

He lifted you up with ease, pushing your back towards the wall as he held you tight and high. He held you up so high that you could see your entire room. The blond did not waste the time to fumble across your dress, ripping the undergarments and immediately dived down. You didn’t even have time to react, but you felt a warm sensation against your pussy.

“EEK!” You gasped, throwing your head against the wall, back arching with your teeth gritted and eyes wide.

“W-Wait!” You pleaded, but he flattened his hot tongue on your pussy harshly, not wasting any juices coming out. He continued to drag his tongue all over your pussy, tasting every single corner. You pussy twitched violently when he bit your clitoris, stimulating more juices to come out. Then, he wrapped his arms around your thighs till his hands met your pussy. He used his hands to toy with your clitoris as he sucked harder.

Your eyes went wide as you immediately held his blond hair. You instinctively pushed his head closer to your pussy. He flicked, rubbed, pinched your clitoris, causing you to jump in euphoria, as you mewl louder and louder.

That’s when you felt something warm go inside you. You screamed violently, gripping his hair tighter. His tongue started to wiggle inside you, skilfully tasting you. Your head kept going side to side, not knowing what to even do. Soon, you shivered in ecstasy which caused you to lean your upper body forward. His tongue curled, hitting a specific spot which stimulated you to roll your eyes back.

“P-Please..! S-Something’s c-coming!” You whimpered, hoping for a release soon, but that’s when he pulled away. This made you sob literally.

“W-Why…” You asked, still holding his hair. “W-Why did you stop…?”

Katsuki looked up to only shiver at the state of his wife; messy hair, sweating body, dress crumbled, eyes dilated with tears, mouth dripping with saliva. Holy fuck, his cock couldn’t possibly get harder than before. It’s been 2 whole painful months since they’ve had sex. Katsuki missed this look on your fucking face, and he’s been wanting to see more.

“Now, now, now, sweetheart. It isn’t fair that you are the only one who gets all the fun. As the princess, don’t you think it’s your duty to tend to your subjects?” Katsuki asked with a small smirk, putting you down on the ground. Your only reaction to that is stumbling on your feet. You had to hold him for support.

“I-I don’t know how to s-suck your t-thing…” You confessed shyly.

He only chuckled. “Don’t worry, princess. I got you,” He cockily said with a wink. He then dragged you to the side of your bed, and he pushed down his clothing on his lower region. You only watched, while on your knees, how his muscles flexed at every movement he does. His veins would pop out, scaring you a bit that it might pop. And oh fuck his pecs, they are fucking big and hot.

“Careful sweetheart. I might be eaten alive by your eyes,” He teased, removing the last armor attached on his body. Then, he sat down on the bed with his legs wide open, revealing his humongous cock. Hot damn his cock slapped your face as he sat down on the bed. You licked your lips as you analyzed his cock; it was infact fucking huge and veiny. His tip was already leaking as it would twitch from time to time.

“Princess.” You flinched with his husky tone.

“I am not a patient person…” He reminded, rubbing his thumb across your lips.

He stared down at your mouth sensually “I want this…” His thumb traced your lips “…small mouth of yours filled with my cock.”

He used his thumb to open your mouth wider. “Go on, princess.” He brought his cock closer to your face.

“Wrap those pretty lips around my cock.”

You licked his shaft slowly, tracing your tongue up and down. Next, you wrapped your hands around his shaft, pumping it slowly as you continued to lick areas of his cock. Katsuki threw his head back, leaning backwards as he held his body weight with his arms. He lets out a small grumble when he feels his tip being engulfed by your warm mouth. His hips stuttered, feeling his tip being sucked on harder. He gripped the sheets as his feet curled in ecstasy.

Feeling a bit braver, you began to take his cock deeper in your mouth, causing Katsuki to growl, “Damn, baby girl. Your mouth feels so fucking good.”

The sudden praise ignited something within you, so you began to suck on his cock harder as you bobbed your head back and forth. Katuski screamed in bliss, holding onto your head tightly with one hand as he began snapping his hips into your mouth. Your eyes went wide at the sudden action, tears started to form once more in your eyes.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” He grunted heavily, holding your head with both of his hands, tangling your hair with his fingertips as he thrusted violently inside your mouth. Your eyes rolled back at this new sensation, his cock hitting the back of your throat which made you gag a lot.

Katsuki laughed at the state you’re at. “Yeah. That’s right!” He thrust a bit harder. “Gag on my cock, sweetheart.”

His heavy balls slapped your chin violently, inhaling that muscular gladiator scent of his. Tears began to drop from your eyes as he continued to engulf your mouth.

“Shit! Where did all your pride go, princess? Was that all just an act to rile me up?” He laughed, clenching his jaw after feeling a familiar sensation riling up.

With all of his strength, he pulled away from your mouth as he shivered strongly at the lost sensation. Meanwhile, you cough violently as you sniffle through your nose. You tried to regain the breath you’d lost while sucking his dick. While doing so, you felt warm hands cupping your cheeks.

You looked up to see Katsuki’s eyes full of love and desire. He held you higher, signaling you to stand up from the ground. After you stood up, you two finally crashed into each other’s lips. He groaned loudly, feeling the wave of happiness surrounding him after feeling his wife’s lips again. His hands traveled down his wife’s back to her ass, giving it a tight squeeze. You moaned in his mouth as you continued to passionately engulf each other’s mouths.

Due to the aggressive kissing, the two of you walked back slowly towards the bed. Katsuki sat down first, not even separating his lips from you. His hands began to slide down the strap of your dress, attempting to feel more of your skin. You brought your dress up and sat down on his lap, purposely lining the folds of your pussy on the skin of cock. The blond shivered, feeling how wet you were so he gripped your waist to pull you closer and pressed you more down his cock.

Your hands trace up his muscular shoulders and then to the back of his hair, gripping it tightly. Subconsciously, you began to rock your hips against his hard cock. Katsuki pulled back to moan at the feeling. This immediately made you rock your hips in a steady phase while holding the back of his hair.

“I’ll admit, Gladiator,” You spoke, shocking Katsuki a bit. “You have the balls to even enter the room of the sister of the Tyrant King.”

You giggled, “That’s why I wanna be honest with you, lover boy,” You whispered in his ear.

“The d-day I entered the Colosseum! You were the only gladiator that caught my attention! E-Everytime I would go to the Colosseum, I would often l-look for y-you! I also f-fantasize a-about you!” You moaned, coating his cock with your juices.

“I w-would often p-play with m-myself, t-thinking about h-how your cock would s-shape my insides! I want—fuck!—that to happen!” You whimpered, tears forming on your eyes as you try to reach for your release, thus rocking your hips faster and faster.

Katsuki’s eyes turned animalistic, holding your hips in place. You whined that your husband stopped you once again. “W-Why—Are you sure?” He asked, gripping your hips tighter.

Despite being all messed up, you knew those eyes of his; he’s asking for confirmation if it’s alright to bury his cock inside you right now.

You nodded violently. “I-I want you…! P-Please give me e-everything!”

Katsuki snapped.

“ALRIGHT, EXTRAS! STOP THE CAMERAS! EVERYONE OUT!” He roared loudly, scaring the staff and making you remember that they were filming a scene.

“B-But, Mr. B-Bakugo—didn’t you hear a word I said, you dumbfuck?” He growled one more time, interrupting the director who almost fainted in fear.

“Y-You heard the pro hero! EVERYONE! SCATTER!” The director yelled, throwing his papers in the air and ran away. Every staff laughed at this, relieved that someone has finally put that narcissistic director in his place.

You genuinely forgot that you were filming for a show, and it embarrased you a bit to show this side of yours to the staff and your co-stars. You only placed your head on Katsuki’s shoulders which made him chuckle. The blond caressed your back, comforting you with sweet words and pet names. From time to time, you would lift your head up to see if they left, but you only saw your staff giggling in excitement as your co-stars gave you a teasing smile and thumbs up. After minutes of waiting, they are finally done. They didn’t hesitate to run away to give them the privacy they needed.

With that, Katsuki lets out a loud laughter which causes you to only hit his shoulder. “Damn it, Katsuki! Why did you show up like this? You couldn’t have told me!”

“Sorry, princess,” He grinned, adding a tone with the pet name. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

You only sulked, hitting his shoulders again which made him laugh. After laughing, Katsuki brought his fingers closer to your face, removing the hair that covers your beauty. “I’ve missed you, [name],” He smiled, caressing your cheeks.

“I’ve missed you too” You shyly confirmed, leaning your head towards his hand.

“Wanna continue this roleplay, sweetheart?” He asked, completely destroying the romantic tension with his horniness.

You giggled, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “You’re into roleplay, Katsuki?” You asked, rocking your hips slowly to tease.

Katsuki chuckled, slapping your ass playfully. “Didn’t consider it first, but now I might consider it because holy fuck, you look so damn hot acting.”

You blushed with his words. “Well, I thought the same. You look really hot acting as a gladiator,” You admitted, arching your back subconsciously.

Katsuki smirked, pulling the ends of your hair down which caused you to look up. “Is that a yes, princess?”

You returned the smirk. “Show me what you’ve got, Gladiator.”

Katsuki’s eyes quivered in lust, bringing his hands on his wife’s chest to rip out the cloth. The action made your breast bounce violently, making you yelp in surprise. Before you can even react, his mouth dove down to your tits as he sucked them with all his might. He used his other hand to press your nipple down to your breast, causing you to hiccup at the action.

“‘Suki… not too r-rough..!” You pleaded, attempting to pull his mouth away from your sensitive breast.

“Oi,” He growled, grabbing your jaw roughly and stared at you with intense eyes. This psychotic-like gaze made you pale in sweat. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, princess.”

“If I want to do something to you, you will fucking accept it,” The hand on your jaw traced down your breast.

“Meaning, if I want this…” He stopped his hand on your stomach. “Filled with my seed, then it will be filled with my fucking seed.”

Your eyes went wide, standing up from his lap as you attempted to run away from this mad man. Your heart dropped when you felt yourself being pushed roughly onto the bed. You fell by your side as you bounced a bit. Your teary eyes opened to see that the gladiator is on top of you.

“There’s no use of running away, princess,” He chuckled, getting the ends of your hair.

“And even if you run, I will find you, sweetheart,” His lips kissed the ends of your hair as he locked his lustful and intense gaze on your soul.

Katsuki licked his lips, seeing how you were displayed below him. Your eyes are dilated with tears with your cheeks red as lips are puffy. The dress is now torned apart, leaving only the lower skirt; this new look on you only emphasized how erotic you look. Your thighs locked together, staring at him with such a look. And fucking hell your breast, they were smuddered with his salvia and bites.

He wanted — no wait — he craved more.

With that, he grabbed his throbbing cock, giving it a few pumps. Then, he aligned it on your vagina area. That’s when you shot your head up, feeling his twitching tip at your entrance.

“W-Wait! G-Give me a momen—” You screamed when he rammed everything in. Your entire body was trembling violently with your back arched and eyes rolled back. Katsuki almost came when he felt the smooth walls of his wife again. He felt his hips twitching, almost releasing his seed inside of her.

You tried to grab something, anything, but your hands just kept thrashing around.

Katsuki licked his lips, combing his hair back. “You feel this, princess?” He asked, tracing to your abdominal, touching the place where he can feel the tip of his cock.

He bent down and whispered, “Your tight cunt managed to take all of me.”

He rolled his hips slowly and gently. “Ya feel that?” He smirked, pressing down your abdomen which stimulated something inside you.

You only replied with a loud whimper. “W-WAIT! D-Don’t do that!” You begged, attempting to remove his hands. Katsuki only scoffed, pressing his hand down further. This action made you come as eyes rolled back with back arched.

This made the blond left with utter shock. You came, and he hasn’t done anything to you just yet. Although he flinched as soon as he felt your walls tightening, and this made him laugh out loud. Your teary eyes only stared at him with shock, getting scared with what’s going to happen.

Katsuki then wrapped his hands around your neck, giving it a tight squeeze. “I’ll be damned, princess. You creamed my dick pretty damn good.”

A tear fell down from the side of your eye in embarrassment, attempting to hide your face. “D-Don’t say t-that…”

Katsuki’s eyebrow arched. “That what? The warrior princess creamed a mere gladiator’s cock?” He gave you one hard thrust.

“It’s too late to have regrets, sweetheart because tonight’s about ravishing my very own ambrosia,” He declared lustfully.

He pulled out his cock, leaving the tip only to only slam everything back inside you harshly. You choked a sob, your tears falling down your eyes at the feeling. He continued to rock his hips in a rough matter, only leaving his fat tip inside then slamming back inside you. Fucking hell, you can feel the bed creaking like crazy from the brutal force Katuski’s giving you.

Katuski indeed fucks you like you are his last ambrosia ever. His hips continued to abuse your pelvis with his brutal force, causing you to scream loudly at the pain and pleasure. His hands gripped both of your tits, holding it tightly as he threw his head back at this feeling. You can only hold his wrists, attempting to remove his hands away from your sensitive breasts.

“Shit, shit, shit…!” He gasped, shaking in pleasure as he pressed his finger down your nipples.

Your eyes rolled back, arching your back as you came again violently.

Katsuki laughed darkly. “Yeah, that’ fucking right. Cream on my cock, princess!”

You jolted when he actually pulled out, causing you to whine a bit at the lost feeling. But your eyes went wide when he flipped you over like a ragdoll. You are now on your knees with your back arched. His hands fumbled your lower skirt, ripping it to pieces, making your entire body presented to him. He did not waste time and shoved everything back inside harshly, causing your body to move forward.

Your pupils shrunk in shock, feeling his cock even more in this position. You can properly see how his cock harshly pushes inside you — holy fuck, you can feel his pre-cum too. He bent down, colliding his chest to your back as he traced his hand to your pussy while the other was wrapped around your neck.

You choked once again, feeling yourself being suffocated with his hands while shuddering at his fingers stimulating your abused pussy. He kept rubbing it harshly while assaulting your pussy with his cock. In impulse, you hold his hand that’s choking you as more tears flow down more.

“S-Slow down, p-please..!” You begged, feeling yourself too stimulated already.

“Go faster? You got it, sweetheart,” He grinned, inserting a finger inside your pussy as he rammed his cock inside you even faster and harder.

You screamed. Your tits violently moving up and down at the rough pace, your thighs shaking again as you can feel something building up again. You know it’s coming — you fucking know it. There’s no way in hell you can hold this back.

“Hold it! Hold it! Fucking hold it!” He slapped your ass, grabbing both of your arms, holding them together behind your back.

“Disobey, and watch me edge you over and over again,” He roughly grunted, pushing his hips forward brutally.

You can only whine in return, forcing yourself to hold it in, no matter how hard and painful that can be. To help you hold your orgasm, you hold the sheets till your knuckles turn white. Your toes curl till you can’t even feel them anymore.

Katsuki grumbled, “Fuck! Here it is!” He gripped your hips tighter, pounding faster and rougher. He can see how your skin bounces back and forth from every thrust he makes. He subconsciously licked his lips at this alluring sight. Katsuki continued to use your hips at a rapid speed, throwing his head back in ecstasy.

You felt his hips stutter, signaling you he was about to release. Katsuki chuckled, feeling your soft walls getting tighter, “You better cum with me, Princess.”

And you did.

You came in unison with your husband.

Tears fell down your eyes, pupils rolled back as your hips stuttered at the feeling of the hard orgasm from your husband. His thick and hot cum invaded your insides, causing you to shiver in delight. You gasped in shock, feeling your husband still hard. Your head shook in disbelief, knowing what’s going to happen next.

“‘Suki, a-are you gonna pull out?” You asked.

Katsuki chuckled, “You want me to pull out?” He grinned, pulling your ass cheeks apart, glimpsing your wet juices and mixed cum dripping from your pussy.

He rocked his hips slowly, “We ain’t even finished yet, princess.”

Oh, sweet mother of—

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝙣𝙤 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩.

#bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugo mha #bakugou x reader #bakugou x you #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo smut #smut #pro hero bakugo x reader #actress reader #mha oc #mha smut #mha bakugou #my hero fanfic #my hero academia #boku no academia #boku no hero fanfic

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mikamuse · 5 months

Text

2:13 AM — GOJO SATORU

it’s not like you wanted to be like this.

constantly coming to satoru for comfort. it’s not like you want to be crying in your bed, currently trying to keep your sobs quiet as not to alert satoru, who is in the other room, to your plight. he had other bigger things to deal with that didn’t include comforting you after having a bad day. you wouldn’t even call it a bad day. it was just a few unfortunate incidents that happened through out the day.

things that are minor compared to the strongest having to deal with curses, training his students, etc. it’s not like he would get annoyed at you. satoru would drop everyone and everything in an instant if you called. if it were someone else, he would’ve laughed but with you—he wrapped you up in his arms, smother you in kisses, and ask you what happened.

he’d do anything to cheer you up. to see that smile that he adored. the shy little smile you would give him while attempting to evade his kisses. he’d tell you some stupid joke to get you laugh. satoru adores your laugh. he adores the way your eyes crinkle. he adores the sound of your laughter. if you didn’t want to talk, he’d just hold you until you were ready to talk.

the sound of your muffled cries drowned out the sound of your bedroom door opening and closing. you don’t notice his presence in your room until you feel the bed dip. a hand gently turns you towards him.

“what’s the matter, sweetheart?” a soft voice calls out. you sniffle as you try to turn away from him. you didn’t want him to see you like this. it’s stupid to cry over these things. satoru frowns—cupping your chin turning your head towards him, “hey what’s wrong? someone bully you? you accidentally hurt yourself again?”

you shake you head at him, “‘s nothing.” he tilts his head at you, giving you look that said, ‘is it really nothing?’ it really was nothing compared to the shit he deals with on a daily basis.

“alright, c’mere” he sighs before leaning over you, wrapping an arm around your waist, “you don’t have to hide in here, ya know? you could always come to me. i love holding you—with and without a reason to.”

“i’d rather not bother you with minors issues…” you mumble, tracing shapes into his arm. satoru looks down at you, shock written on his face.

“minor issues?! baby if it’s upsetting you, i’d say it’s a major one! come on, lay it on me! it’s nothing i can’t handle, i am the strongest for a reason.” he winks.

“it was just a few mishap that just kept pilling up all day… it’s nothing really, satoru” you pout, looking away. “‘s not really a big deal.”

“it is too me!” satoru whines. “i don’t like it when you’re upset. it makes me upset!”

the sight of his pout makes you laugh a little. he smiles when he hears your laugh.

“there it is. that laugh that i love so much!” satoru brushing his hands against your sides forcing another laugh out of you. “feelin’ better now?”

“hmm a little… maybe a kiss would me me feel even better…” he grins before swooping down to press a kiss to your forehead, to the corner of your eyes, to your nose, and finally to your waiting lips, whispering an ‘i love you’ in between pecks.

this is very self-indulgent bc it been a rough few days 😞 i just wanna be wrapped up in his big, beefy arms and kissed by him 24/7 <333 i miss you pookie 💔

©️MIKAMUSE

#mikamuse #𐐪𐑂 ; wandering thoughts #𐐪𐑂 ; gojo #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo x you #gojo satoru x you

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loaksbitch · 1 year

Text

“tell me you love me” — jake sully (⨳)

no but like imagine jake sully crying while making love to you?? grammar errors ahead btw

+ warnings - first thing first it’s a smut y’all, idk if it’s detailed but yeah!! jake sully crying during sex?? absolutely my fav. also he’s super whipped for oc ( p in v ) idk what else i’m left with sooo enjoy :P

he’d definitely be the type to burry his face by the curve of your neck just like his cock buried deep in your tight walls.

“feels so good, princess, feels so fuckin’ good” he would whimper while holding your already bruised up hips as he flawlessly snaps his hips to you. “j-jake…” you’d stutter every time he knocks up your gut

jake would pull himself to look at your face as he feels your climax is closer with your walls tightening on his fat cock. “you’re close, fuck pretty girl, you’re so fucking close” he loves to say as he sneaks his hand between your body and rubs your sensitive nub.

watching your reaction close, brows knit he’d feel a course of emotion running through him to make his eyes sting in tears. the man above you doesn’t know why he’s suddenly emotional as he rearranges your gut

tears whelm up in his eyes as he takes your pretty face and let’s a soft almost silent chuckle out when your eyes roll back in pleasure. “princess?” you only raise your eyebrows to let him know you’re listening but a sharp thrust makes you deeply gasp

“look at me, baby” he demands softly watching you struggle to concentrate while he jack hammers you. “hm?” you’d only say before noticing his glossy eyes and cup his cheeks before placing a kiss at the corner of his lips. “ma jake, what’s wrong?”

he’d simply stare at your eyes before shaking his head and murmuring a little ‘nothing’ before pressing a kiss on your forehead between your brows. “tell me you love me” jake says straightening up his self and pulling your hips flush against him

he fully bottoms out and keep himself still while you gasp and connect words to make sense. “i— i love you, i love you, i love you” you’d say again and again. “i love you” jake says it back before starting to move, “i love you so much it hurts, princess”

you feel a tear drop on your bare chest and open your hazy eyes to see jake messed up with tears. “don’t cry,” you pull your man close as he hides himself by the curve of your neck again. you hear him let a small sob out and tell you how much he’s lucky and so in love with you as you do the same.

“cum with me” he’d start to roughly rub circles at your clit making you gasp and jolt before gushing on his cock buried deep in you. “i love you, so good for me, so warm and wet. fuck baby.” he hisses before going flush against your hips and rooting his seed deep inside you

once you both calm down from your high, you let a giggle out and press your forehead. “you’re cute when you cry” you immediately catch your man’s ear flattening. “shut up” he seals your lips with a kiss before cuddling you to sleep.

this is it lol don’t forget to leave a like + comment + reblog ** i love each and everyone of you babies.

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poeticlilies · 1 year

Note

Dazai with a reader who’s really motherly with him? I feel like he secretly craves to be coddled but he plays it off with jokes for a while until a certain point where he just breaks :(

also I’m sorry if my request got sent more than once, tumblr is being silly ‼️

♡ My baby, my baby...

Dazai Osamu x Reader

Desc: Comforting Dazai. (fem reader)

TW/CW: mental breakdowns, joking about mental health, dark thoughts, suicide, self-harm, mentions of religion (usage of word "God"), usage of "Y/N", angst -> hurt/comfort

It hurt.

It hurt so, so much Dazai Osamu thought that God had finally pitied him and was letting him die.

He couldn't breathe; his lungs felt like they were collapsing in on themselves, and he sobbed, trying to let oxygen back into his lungs as they burned.

"Just get home," his mind repeated. "Just get home and you can see Y/N again."

A foreign corner of his heart quieted it's pounding; slowing down to consider the thought of keeping quiet long enough to see you. It agreed, happy at the thought of you; and after five minutes Dazai got up and walked out of the closet he had locked himself inside.

Kunikida stared at him, stopping mid-rant as concern flashed over his coworker's face; but before the blond could say anything, Dazai was out the door and on his way to see you again. The annoying ringing of his cellphone wasn't present; which means that Kunikida probably laid off of him and let him go home early.

He doesn't even remember going home, doesn't remember the sidewalk, the train ride, or the winding little path leading to the quaint little neighborhood; doesn't remember unlocking the front door and taking his shoes off, heart beginning to race again as it protests for the mind to uphold it's part of the deal.

"Y/N?.." he calls weakly; stumbling around your shared home. "Y/N!"

His mind begins to race, panicking; what if you had gotten kidnapped? or hurt? what if the Port Mafia took you? what if-- but his thoughts were cut off when the angel that is you, in your everlasting glory, appeared; dressed in shorts and a sweater, surprised (and a little concerned) to why he was home so early and stumbling around your shared house like a drunkard.

He barely hears the worried gasp of his name; barely processes anything before he's lunging for you, arms flying around your torso and coiling around it, tears coming to his eyes as he sobs in relief, crying and blubbering as he's finally back in your loving arms.

He feels the hand you have on his head caressing his hair gently as if he were a glass ornament that would break apart at the slightest touch, and he cries harder; burying his face into your stomach as he sinks down closer to the floor. He feels you crouching down with him; cradling his head against your chest as you murmur warm words that slither inside through his ears to his heart, comforting it as you hold him in your embrace.

You had never seen him like this; had always known the strong, brave Dazai Osamu; had always seen the confident, cocky, brave persona he put on. Whenever you tried to coddle him, he had brushed it off; but you never missed the slight twitch of his eyes, the lingering look in them as he turned away, the way his hand rested on top of yours for a second too long before he pulled away.

That's why you kept going; kept pushing at his walls, begging and pleading for him to let them down; that you weren't going to hurt him like everybody else, weren't going to be let in only to stab at everything in a frenzy like everyone else. No, you wanted to love him; to cherish him and to make him feel loved as you protected him from the world and it's miseries the way he did to countless other individuals.

And it worked; hence the events of today, as Dazai clings to your sweater and sobs.

"Shhh... Shhh.. baby, what's wrong?.." you murmur, finally; petting his hair as he begins to quiet down, obediently following your words.

"M-Missed you." he states, quietly, simply. "Missed y-you so much; c-couldn't think. Could-dn't do a-anything. Missed you so bad..." he whispers, tearing up again.

"Shh.." you whisper again; lifting his face up and kissing his cheeks. "Cmon, baby; you can tell me what's wrong. It's alright, darling."

And Dazai Osamu only falls deeper in love with you.

YAHOO!! sorry if u wanted smt else this was the way i interpreted it :(

#dazai x reader #bsd dazai #dazai x you #dazai osamu #dazai oneshot #atsushi bsd #bsd #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x you #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu x y/n #dazai angst #bsd comfort

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mypoisonedvine · 5 months

Note

Neil Lewis is definitely that weird guy in high school that thinks he has a chance with the cheerleader captain. Request is noncon with Neil maybe following her into the locker rooms after practice and while she’s showering-yeah. She stayed behind to shower while everyone else went home.

OMG INCEL NICE GUY NEILLLLL OMFGGGG

warnings: NONCON SMUT (18+ only!! dark!!), misogyny kink, stalking/voyeurism, 'nice guy' rhetoric, degradation, jealousy, slapping, hair pulling, forced creampie

"I just wanted one chance," he reminded you as you tried to cover yourself with your hands.

"How the fuck did you get in here?!" you yelped, quickly turning off the water and trying to reach for your towel-- but he stepped in the way, smiling at you.

"It's just a door, anyone can walk through it," he explained with a condescending chuckle, before furrowing his brow at how you tried to shield your naked body from his gaze. "No real point in doing that, is there? I've already seen everything."

"How long were you watching me shower?" you wondered with a disgusted frown.

"A while, but that's not what I meant-- it's not the first time I've seen you naked, I mean," he clarified. When your eyes widened, he answered your next question pre-emptively. "Stacy Gawthrop's party? The guest bedroom? I saw you and your idiot boyfriend getting it on, got a little show... you guys really should lock the door before doing stuff like that."

"You weren't even invited to that party," you remembered with a scoff.

"That's what you're concerned about? I told you I watched you get railed and you're worried that I wasn't invited?" he laughed coldly. "God, you're so shallow. I can't believe I actually like a girl like you."

"Can you please just leave me alone?" you whimpered, heart racing faster as he stepped closer to you again, cornering you against the tile wall; there was a devious sparkle in his eye, something sharp about his smile as he looked down at you.

"The point is, I watched him fuck you," he went on regardless, "and I knew I could make you scream louder than he could. And now I'm here to prove it."

He shoved you back as you winced, pressing himself against you, soaking his gym clothes with the water on your skin. "Get off me!" you yelped as he tried to force a kiss-- but when you turned your face away, he smacked you hard, which only hurt more with the water on you still.

As you tried to grab your face to soothe the sting, he snatched you by the wrist tightly with one hand-- the other he brought to your chest, groping you as he hummed proudly. "You really shouldn't show these off so much," he scolded. "Guys can't help but think of... well, of doing this."

He knelt down enough to catch one in his mouth, sucking almost too hard on your nipple until you whined. "N-Neil, stop!" you gasped, sobbing a bit when his teeth grazed your delicate skin.

"Sure, baby-- tell yourself you don't want this," he purred, before tilting his head the other way and lapping happily at the other. "I know you fucking wanted me-- you just can't admit it, 'cause a girl like you with a guy like me is 'social suicide' or whatever."

"I told you to j-just leave me alone!" you panted, trying to struggle again only for him to come face to face with you-- his expression tinted with the rage you remembered from the last time you rejected him. He refused to believe that you genuinely found him creepy and irritating, and apparently maintained his delusion that you were just afraid of what would happen if your boyfriend-- or anyone else, for that matter-- found out. Even though that wasn't the primary reason, you had to admit you were very anxious about somebody walking in and seeing this.

"If you don't want me," he challenged darkly as one of his hands slipped down to cup your mound rather aggressively, "then how come you're wet?"

He dragged his fingers through your folds, far too much pressure on such a sensitive place, and your knees quivered. "S-stop, Neil, I'm serious..."

"Shut up, whore," he growled, spinning you around and slamming you against the wall again as you cried. "Just do what you do best and spread your legs, hm?"

You obviously didn't, but he kicked them apart anyway, shoving his shorts down and making you whimper as he rubbed his cock against your ass. And while you were a bit wet, for reasons you couldn't explain, you certainly weren't wet enough... not for how thick he was. But he shoved himself in anyways-- one quick, hard thrust that made you cry out from the sting of the stretch.

"Ah, fuck, that's good-- it's so good," he moaned, dropping his head on your still-damp shoulder and starting to thrust into you quickly. He had no patience at all, jackhammering into you and holding tight to your hips as he groaned deeply. "Guess that stupid boyfriend didn't stretch you out much, huh? You're still so fucking tight, baby..."

You tried to hide your face under your arm, anything to get away from him, but he grabbed your hair by your scalp and yanked it down, exposing your face and making you cry louder. "Neil, please!" you begged through your tears.

"Oh, don't talk like that," he warned, "I don't wanna finish too fast. But fuck, you look so cute trying not to show how good it feels..."

Good isn't really how you would've described it... it wasn't just painful, but it hurt-- he was too big, you weren't used to it yet, and he just seemed to go faster and faster with each passing moment. But there was a sick pleasure to it all, something about the way he reached so deep inside you... he was at least right about one thing: your boyfriend had never made you feel like this before. You weren't sure if you'd ever be able to face him after this, for more than a few reasons.

"Baby," he praised, biting down on his own lip to muffle a moan, "quit squeezing me like that, you're gonna make me come."

"D-don't," you tried to plead, as if it wasn't inevitable. Just the way he kept going, grabbing a tighter hold of your hips, moaning lowly against your ear... it was not only inevitable but imminent.

"I'm close," he warned under his breath, "fuck, look what you do to me--"

"Not inside, Neil, please," you choked, but he ignored it, moving faster and moaning louder until it all slowed down to a stop, his cock flexing with every stripe of come that painted your insides. You hung your head defeatedly, feeling sick to your stomach as the reality of what just happened began to sink in.

"Shit," he hissed, "I didn't think I'd come that fast..."

"Fuck, Neil, I-- I could get--" you started, too scared to even say it.

"Aw, don't worry baby," he cooed, kissing your cheek sweetly just before another tear fell across it, "I'll be able to go again in a second."

#dark!neil lewis x reader #neil lewis dark fic #cillian murphy dark fic #dark!cillian murphy x reader #neil lewis smut

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woniverse-writes · 7 months

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"Moth to a Flame (part 6)"

Bada Lee x Reader

part 5 ⟵ part 6 ⟶ part 7

series masterlist

summary: y/n l/n is the youngest team member of Jam Republic, competing in the second season of Street Woman Fighter. she’s got the sweetest smile and the most vibrant personality, but she also may or may not be the biggest hothead on the show when it comes to defending her teammates. apparently that’s attractive to Bada Lee.

word count: 12k

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of depression anxiety disorder, mentions of medication, not proofread, nothing i write is a reflection of anyone's true character and is a work of total fiction

It had been almost a week since the interim mission check. Almost a week since 1 million was estimated to place first. A week since Jam Republic began preparing themselves for elimination. A week since Bada and Y/n fought… a week since the two had last spoken.

After the screaming match between the two girls and y/n making her exit with a slam of team Bebe's dressing room door, the younger headed to her own dressing room bawling her eyes out. Her teammates didn't immediately question anything as she stormed in and began to aggressively pack up the few things she had brought back for the day. Audrey made her way over to place a gentle hand on her shoulder

"y/n-" but was immediately swatted away by the still-crying girl. y/n immediately turned around with regret written all over her face

"I'm so sorry- I didn't- I didn't mean to push you away" she sobbed with wide eyes, shaking her head, trying to convince her friend that she didn't mean it, but Audrey already knew that. Audrey knew Y/n.

"hey, hey! It's okay, I know you didn't mean to…" she comforted the girl, bringing her into a hug. This time the younger girl let her friend wrap her in a warm hug. She buried her face in Audrey's chest and bawled her eyes out until she felt too tired to carry on.

"Is something else bothering you lovey?" Kirsten asked gently from somewhere in the corner. Y/n looked up slightly confused, which is when she realized they had no idea what just happened. She began to cry all over again, this time just weeping exhaustedly. I don't even think you could call it crying- more so just her looking sad as tears freely ran down her face. It took her a few minutes before she could even begin to explain, but when she did it wasn’t any easier.

“I got into an argument with Bada… well- it was actually a really bad fight, and- and I totally fucked everything up” Poor girl could barely finish her sentence, as she hiccuped her way through it before she started sobbing and heaving again. Everyone in the room shared looks of shock and confusion, all rushing closer to comfort their youngest. Audrey already had her hand rubbing circles softly on Y/n’s back while Emma sat on the other side rubbing her shoulder, and the oldest three kneeled/sat in front of her.

“I’m so sorry my sweet girl… do you wanna tell us about it?” Kirsten being the wonderful leader and friend she is, did not hesitate one second before openly trying to comfort y/n. The youngest sniffled and hiccuped a bit more while trying to nod.

“Y-yeah, just give me a-a few minutes, p-please” y/n shakily pleaded as her sobs picked back up. After about ten minutes of crying, she was pretty sure there was nothing left in her. Latrice had gotten up to get her water a few minutes ago and now was forcing her to drink it seeing as y/n had been able to calm down.

“Take your time baby, you don’t have to tell us everything- you don’t even have to tell us anything if you don’t want to!” Ling reassured her little bestie and made sure y/n still remembered how safe she was with Jam Republic.

“No, it’s okay- I want you guys to know… I just- I don’t even know where to start or how to retell this…or if I even have the energy to do so right now…” the youngest countered, wanting just to tell her members what happened and get it out of the way so she could begin suppressing it, but her eyes began to droop and her voice got soft, both being immediate signs of her exhaustion. And on any other day, or in any other situation her members would find it quite endearing, but they can’t help but feel crushed at the sight.

“Why don’t we finish packing- after the flight, you’ll have rested a bit, and if you’re feeling up to once we’ve landed you can explain the whole situation to us then. If not, that’s okay too.” Latrice gently spoke up, reminding everyone that they had a flight to leave for in just under an hour and a half. Y/n sniffled and nodded, slowly standing up. Everyone immediately backed away slightly to give her enough space, then watched as she lifelessly moved around the space, finishing packing her things. It sincerely shocked them to see her this way, thinking it was already pretty bad how she was acting before they showed up- and that was when they WEREN’T paying attention to her. Y/n was never good at hiding her feelings unless it was when she was dancing or performing- when she was putting on a show- so to see her so sluggish and empty really scared the five other members of Jam Republic.

“This is going to be a long, hard fucking week…” Emma noted, the others either nodding or tiredly humming in agreement.

________________

“Do you wanna talk about any of it?” Lusher tried her best not to pry- not that she would've had to pry much anyway since she heard the whole thing- but she wanted to hear how Bada was feeling with the aftermath. The leader just sighed deeply once again with her elbows resting on her knees, hunched over as she laid her head in her hands.

Bada felt nauseous. She felt dizzy, like the room was spinning and her ears were ringing. To be completely honest, there was a possibility she would pass out at any moment. None of what had just happened in the last- what? 20 minutes? Was it longer than that? Hell, was it shorter? Bada really had no clue, but none of what had happened in that time felt real to her.

“I don’t know Lusher…” the leader finally mumbled, still hunched over. It was quiet and meek, sounding exhausted. The sub-leader glanced around at her teammates whose faces were all some sort of variation of fear or anxiety, She sighed and crossed her arms before speaking up again

“Well, then how about we get some rest? Maybe afterward you’ll want to talk about it, or maybe you won’t- either way, we’ll be here…” She firmly stated, knowing how tired everyone was and how sleep easily played a role in how well they felt. The leader took a huge breath, her members watching had her shoulders rose and fell. Bada stood up with her head still hanging low. The other girls moved out of the way and watched as the oldest started groggily packing up her things and sat back down on the couch with an empty look when she finished.

“I’m ready when you guys are.”

____________

The first day back in New Zealand was just another segment added to the nightmare that Jam Republic has been living in these last few days. Y/n slept the whole plane ride but woke up with a very minor fever and headache. She just chalked it up to crying so much and getting so world up.

“I promise it’s fine Kirsten, I'm probably just dehydrated-”

“Which still isn’t good! Even if that’s the case, it’s not something to treat lightly, y/n. And since I know you’re lying it’s even more serious to me… I need you to try your best to take care of yourself right now love, we need you.” she dragged the youngest over to some airport market and grabbed two waters and a bottle of juice. Kirsten glanced over her shoulder and saw eyeing up some snacks, but didn’t end up grabbing them. When the younger walked away to look at something else, the leader moved to grab whatever she was looking at. The bright colorful packaging with cute designs made her smile. It was obviously a very y/n-like treat- some sort of sweet gummies with a sour sugar coating. She grabbed two of them and got a savory snack as well, knowing how stubborn her youngest is and how hard on herself she can get.

When all of their luggage had been picked up, all six members of Jam Republic headed back to their hotel. y/n lay with her head against the cool glass of the window, not quite asleep but definitely not mentally present. Everyone was already worried from what had happened the previous day, but it seemed like something different was the issue now. Y/n didn’t only seem depressed anymore- she seemed physically ill.

By the time they arrived at their place, Emma was the first to offer y/n help, which she obviously declined. Yet Emma still took her heavier bags, and y/n didn’t even have the energy to complain. The older carried them up for her as she dragged behind the rest of the group. Audrey, noticing how out of it her best friend was, circled back around to meet y/n in the back of the clump

“You not feeling too good, bunny?” the slightly older brunette questioned with eyes full of concern, and a mouth of whatever candy bar she was munching on. Y/n actually felt herself smile a bit at how endearing her friend was. still, she sighed and nodded, which of course Audrey didn’t believe.

“I really don’t get why you feel like you have to lie about it…” the elder mumbled, kicking a rock while they walked. Great, now I made Audrey upset. y/n frowned and sighed deeply

“It’s just easier to deal with it by myself… it’s exhausting having to explain why I feel the way I do, especially when I don’t even understand it half the time… I wanna tell you guys, I promise I do, but it would drag the team down so much, Audrey…”

“Why do you say that? Because we’d have to take time to discuss what’s wrong? Because we’d have to stop working and focus on you for a second?”

“No Audrey it’s not-”

“Oh so then it’s because we care about you and we’d do anything for you in a heartbeat and you don’t wanna accept that you have people that sincerely love you? You don’t wanna accept that you really are a loveable amazing person who doesn’t deserve to be talked to or treated like that?” Audrey pointed off somewhere in the direction they had just come from, seething as she finished. this was the first time y/n had ever seen the girl as angry as she was, but she couldn’t help but feel confused

“How… how do you know what she said?” y/n tilted her head and awaited her friend’s response with said eyes. Audrey hesitated for a second, feeling like she’d said too much, but sighed and began speaking again

“Lusher told Latrice… well- Latrice and me. I still want to hear everything from you though- I want to know how you’re processing all this and how it felt for you because while she seemed neutral, there could just as easily be things Lusher left out in favor of Bada.” she quickly explained, hoping she hadn’t betrayed the other girl’s trust by getting the story from someone else first.

“Lusher didn’t seem… mad? Wait- how does she know? Did Bada really tell them everything already? I mean I guess that makes sense since-” her mumbled external pondering was cut off

“They heard everything…” the older of the two once again spoke hesitantly, unsure of how the other would react. y/n just glanced over, slightly dazed

“Huh?” Audrey let out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding, then continued explaining.

“Lusher said their entire team was just around the corner while you guys were arguing, and they could hear everything…” she trailed off at the end, cringing slightly at how bad the entire situation was. Y/n sighed and closed her eyes, feeling another wave of headaches coming

“Great, now all of team Bebe hates me…”

“You don’t know that!” Audrey was simply trying to be her optimistic self, and she couldn’t help but giggle when the slightest bit of normal y/n showed through the depression when she gave her older friend an over-exaggerated deadpan look. The two finally reached their shared room and began unpacking the few things they had. After doing so, the girls all quickly washed up and got changed, then headed to practice.

Practice had gone well for the most part- the first half was reworking practically everything and adding more to make the choreography stand out more. The second half was just drilling everything until it was muscle memory, or at least close to it. Everyone could tell y/n wasn’t feeling well. It didn’t show in her dance, but definitely on her face as she looked miserable every time they finished.

“Why don’t you take a break hon-” Emma tried convincing her with a gentle hand on her shoulder, to which y/n loosely pushed it away

“Em, I’m fine” she whined and moaned, tired of having everyone baby her for the day. The older stood there for a moment before sighing and shaking her head, then walking off. The rest of the practice went the same, and everyone finished wrapping things up around 12:45 am.

Later that evening (or morning rather) after practice had ended and all of Jam Republic had returned to their hotel, y/n started throwing up and her fever increased severely, ending her up in the ER at 2 am with Kirsten and Ling, the others being told to stay back and get some rest.

“After running some tests and talking with her, it just seems like a stress fever, which thankfully means there’s nothing physically wrong- well besides some dehydration, but we have her on an IV for right now- However, whatever is causing the girl so much stress should probably be taken out of her life immediately…” the doctor sternly informed the two oldest members of Jam Republic. They both just looked at each other, not really knowing what to do, seeing as their poor baby’s stress was unavoidable right now unless she were to completely drop from the challenge, and maybe even the entire competition as a whole.

“We’re actually a part of a competition right now… we want her to rest but- we need her to be able to compete with us. Is there anything we can do to speed up the recovery?” Ling spoke before her friend could, the desperate tone already taking over her voice. The doctor sighs and takes off his glasses.

“We could try putting her on an anti-anxiety medication to see if that helps… but it really would be the most ideal to let her rest as much as possible in a low-stress environment.”

“A low-stress environment isn’t really possible right now. And- she’s actually already on something for anxiety and depression, would she even be allowed to do that?” at Kirsten’s question the doctor looks slightly confused

“Has she not been taking the medication recently? Because when we ran the tests to see if there was something in her system, we found no traces of drugs, alcohol, or any substances…” The two dancers once again looked at each other, having a silent conversation.

“Would we be able to see her?” the leader asks softly, to which the doctor nods and leads them to y/n’s room. He opens the door and they find her lying there staring off into space, barely awake.

“Hey honey… is it alright if we come in?” Kirsten asked as softly as she could while still wanting the girl to hear her. Y/n nodded wordlessly and closed her eyes. The two oldest Jam Republic members came and sat near her hospital bed and after a few minutes of conversation with the doctor, it was just the three of them in the room.

“Sweetheart…” the leader brushed some hair out of y/n’s face and watched as her eyes fluttered open

“Did you hear any of that?” She finished and furrowed her brows, unsure of how aware of her surroundings the younger was. Y/n shook her head and matched Kirsten’s expression

“They’re gonna keep you here overnight to make sure you get enough hydration before going back, okay?” She kept brushing away stray hairs and petting them down softly against y/n’s head, lulling her to sleep. There was a slight nod of understanding. Kirsten stood up and y/n quickly (as quickly as she could) reached out to grab her hand

“Please stay… at least one of you… can at least one of you please stay with me” the youngest pleaded in a pitiful whisper that made the older two’s hearts break all over again. This girl really was going to be the death of them all

“Of course honey, we’ll both stay” Ling reaches for her other hand pressing a motherly kiss to the back of it

“I’m sorry… for slowing down the process and now dragging you guys into it… you should be getting good rest right now… not here with me… and here I am being selfish by asking you to stay… shocker…” It seemed like y/n was just mumbling whatever was coming to mind, yet tears were once again freely slipping down. Her eyes closed and wet eyelashes fluttered softly against her cheeks as she drifted off. The two sat there in slight shock, a bit taken aback by what she’d said. Both had wanted to say something and let her know how wrong she was- how while yes they should’ve been resting, it was more important to them that she was okay. After a few minutes of silence, Ling spoke up

“Why didn’t you tell her she can’t practice?”

“Because now is not the time to send her into a nervous breakdown… she’s barely even conscious, it’d probably give her a heart attack if I told her she wasn’t allowed to practice” the leader stressed and hung her head for a moment.

“We’re gonna have to ask her about her medication in the morning…” she sighed rubbing her forehead, causing Ling the groan softly so as not to disrupt the sleeping girl a few inches away

The next day Kirsten woke up first and told a half-asleep Ling she was going to grab breakfast for them. When she returned, it seemed the older had been awake for a bit and that y/n had just been waking up. The leader sat in the chair next to the hospital bed and handed everyone their food. y/n thanked her teammate quietly and they all began eating. After a few brief moments of silence and soft chewing, Kirsten spoke up

“So there are a few things we need to talk about…” she mentioned seriously, glancing up at y/n who was staring intensely at her food, but had stopped chewing for the moment.

“...like what?” the younger questioned and went back to cutting up her food to eat more.

“Like why you haven’t been telling us things… we need to know when you aren’t feeling well y/n or else we can’t help you-” Kirsten explained in a worried motherly tone but was quickly cut off

“I don’t want you to have to help me-” the bedridden girl argued tiredly and sighed. There wasn’t any anger and she didn’t raise her voice in the slightest. She was just exhausted.

“I should be able to take care of myself on my own. I’m an adult… i should start acting like one” y/n spoke everything loud and clear until the last phrase. She had mumbled the statement to herself, sinking back into her pillows and wallowing in pity again, but Ling and Kirsten both heard the self-deprecating callout. Every second that passed, the two eldest grew more and more worried about their youngest’s wellbeing

“The doctors said they didn’t didn’t find any traces of anything in your system, which is good, but that also included your meds… did you forget to take them yesterday?” Ling questioned softly rubbing the back of the girl’s hand. Y/n once again goes completely silent, and avoids eye contact with an extremely guilty expression, which has both older members raising an eyebrow.

“Y/n… what’s up?” Kirsten pushed for a response, causing the younger dancer to sigh

“I haven’t been taking them regularly…” Y/n mumbled, fiddling with the blanket that laid over her lap, still avoiding eye contact.

“You haven’t been taking your meds???” “Y/n are you fucking kidding me? Since when?” both members started began outwardly stressing

“...since the second week of filming-”

“THAT WAS THREE AND A HALF MONTHS AGO-”

“Lingy, let’s not yell at her… I’m sure she had a reason…” Kirsten put a hand on her shoulder and the oldest sighed, they both turned expectantly to y/n, who felt immensely small in front of them for the first time in her entirety of knowing the two dancers.

“...they were making me tired” The youngest curled into her and cringed at the excuse, especially after seeing both women’s faces drop into disbelief.

“Are you serious right now?” Ling questioned with a deadpan expression her arms crossed. Y/n bit her lip and continued to play with her fingers.

“y/n…” Kirsten sighed as she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose

“I started that new medication and it made it impossible for me to do anything! I was barely making it through those battles and the only thing keeping me going was the excitement and adrenaline-” The youngest tried to defend her reasoning but what cut off

“So you thought it was better to just take nothing? Why didn’t you say something to someone, or even just call your doctor and ask to go back-” This was the first time Kirsten even slightly raised her voice at y/n, and it wasn’t even at that point, but the small girl could feel the disappointment radiating off of her team leader, and she felt everything come crashing again.

“Because I didn’t want to go back to the other medication, it did nothing for me- I wouldn’t have switched in the first place if it worked!” she could feel herself getting worked up again, tears somehow still being able to form. She sighed and laid back in the hospital bed, actually crying this time instead of having tears judge freely fall down her face as she stared blankly.

“I know I shouldn’t have stopped taking them… but I just couldn’t do it. I thought I was doing fine…” y/n mumbled, wiping away tears and sniffling, feeling exhausted again.

“Y/n…” Kirsten started after taking a deep breath and hearing the younger girl’s hum of recognition

“You can’t practice.”

“What…” barely came out as a whisper

“You’re too stressed out right now, and your immune system is down… you aren’t eating or sleeping properly and you’re overworking yourself. You are literally killing yourself slowly… and for what? A stupid competition? Some girl?” she tried to keep her tone level and calm, but Kirsten couldn’t help the rise at the mention of the other team leader, hating her in that brief moment for being one of the reasons her poor baby was feeling this way

“If it’s so stupid Kirsten, then why are we here?” Y/n could feel herself getting frustrated again. This was exactly why no one took her seriously, because her team didn’t even take her seriously, or at least that’s what she thought. Kirsten let out what felt like the twelve hundredth sigh within the last 24 hours.

“They’re discharging you in about 20 minutes… you’re allowed to come to practice but it’s recommended that you don’t… the doctors said it’s best to keep you out of high-stress environments right now-“

“Yeah well, do they even know what’s going on?” so many things were happening in the moment. Y/n felt like she was going to combust and throw up and pass out all at once. She’d never spoken to Kirsten like this- fuck she’d never felt frustrated with Kirsten like this.

“Yes y/n, we told them, and they still think it’s best for you to rest… at least for a little while” The leader’s tone was back to gentle, but it sounded just as tired as the younger girl’s. Y/n didn’t say anything as she sat in disbelief. The three sat in silence for the next few minutes until it was time for y/n to be discharged. She signed off on some documents and then the three were off. They decided to head back to the hotel first before meeting the others at the studio, wanting to change and all that since they’d all spent the night at the hospital in their pajamas.

Y/n decided to stay back and get some more rest, finally giving in to her exhaustion. While they were glad she was taking their advice, Ling and Kirsten once again couldn’t help but feel their hearts hurt for their youngest members. It was always hard seeing each other go through tough times, but it usually never lasted this long or became this severe. It felt like there was nothing they could do to help her.

The youngest jam republic dancer napped and rested for about five hours after she had made her return to their hotel. After waking up she showered and got dressed and decided to head down to the studio. When y/n arrived she waved and greeted everyone politely with a gentle smile, shocking everyone at her appearance.

“I thought you weren’t coming today- you said you were gonna rest.” Kirsten separated herself from the group after telling them to keep practicing

“I did rest- but I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing… even if I don’t feel well I should still come and watch to make sure I’m not missing anything” y/n defended her case to the best of her ability, but Kirsten was always right

“No, if you don’t feel well you need to be resting and taking care of your body AND your brain” the leader retorted, teasingly poking the younger girl’s forehead at the end of her sentence to make a point. Y/n cracked the tiniest smile and even though it was barely there Kirsten was proud of herself for at least being able to do that much.

Y/n sat at the front and watched the practice for the remainder of the time, taking notes on everything she saw whether it be strengths or weaknesses, new ideas, or things she felt needed to be changed entirely. The girl was surprisingly calm and didn’t feel any stress while she was observing. That’s pretty much how the rest of that week’s practices went for Y/n until the last three days before filming. She had been begging Kirsten to allow her to get back to dancing and the leader actually almost caved a few times, desperate to perfect the routine, but still stayed strong and insisted she rested.

____________

It had been a week since the two had spoken. By now all the choreography was finished being created, taught, and perfected. The videos were all shot and edited and it was finally the day where all seven teams would present their work to everyone else and the judges. The day when another two crews would be put up for elimination, and once would go home.

Everyone entered the arena one by one, each team taking their designated seat. It was always mindlessly interesting in these situations, where they’d all gather to watch something but not dance because the fashion choices were truly a show of each dancer’s honest character. Y/n looked as elegant as usual with her red, black, and ivory ensemble. She was doing surprisingly well at the moment, having more of an icy glare rather than the empty eyes of depression that had taken over her the last week or so.

Y/n was doing surprisingly well until she wasn't. Jam Republic is seated by the time team Bebe passes by. y/n feels her heart rate pick up as they approach, all of them glancing at her, some glaring, but their leader acted as if she didn't even see the girl and walked right past them with an icy stare.

“Oh, now that’s just fucking mean” Ling scoffed and stared down the team as they took their seats. Everyone was obviously feeling on edge and very nervous about the results, but y/n still looked quite ill. She had recovered for the most part, but she suddenly felt like throwing up again at the interaction with Bebe. She's still so distraught from the fight with Bada a couple of days before, and now the youngest dancer is scared shitless that both of their teams are going to be up for elimination. As much as she wants to avoid the older girl right now, y/n wouldn't be able to live with herself if Bebe got sent home today…

y/n took a sharp breath, biting her lip trying to push back the sudden sting of tears already feeling the anxiety begin to gnaw away at her. Lusher noticed this right as the team took their seats and spoke over her shoulder to their leader.

"you can't keep ignoring her…" the younger prompted after seeing the way Bada pretended y/n didn't exist when they passed by

"excuse me? Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?" the leader coldly responded, eyeing the girl up and down. Tatter felt a shiver run down her spine at the interaction, already worried about the integrity of her team considering the rest of their practice time felt like a waste as well. She just sighed and tilted her head out of stress.

After the fight between Bada and Y/n happened, and they both went their separate ways alongside their teams, team Bebe began to fall apart. Bada read through the countless criticisms their routine had gotten and didn’t even know where to start. The stress was eating her alive and she tried her best not to let it show. Normally when things got bad, the Bebe leader would talk about it with Y/n, but that obviously wasn’t a possibility right now, which made everything so much worse.

Practices became unbearable due to how irritable the leader had become, often losing patience easily when things didn’t work out how they were supposed to. Any time they’d go on break Bada would sit and rewatch whatever footage had been taken or reread the notes to see what was going wrong. The other six Bebe members sat off to the side getting water, all observing their oldest with immense concern. She still hadn’t opened up about the situation to them, honestly feeling too embarrassed, even though she knew they heard the entire thing. The guilt of it all was eating away at Bada and she didn’t want to admit that.

“She’s gonna have to share the burden with us at some point” Lusher sighed and pushed herself up off the floor, sauntering over to their crew leader and popping a squat next to her

“You haven’t had any water today…” the sub-leader observed while glancing at the taller girl

“You’re seriously keeping track of whether I do or don’t drink water?” it was supposed to come out in a joking manner, but Bada was serious, the sentence coming out flat and irritated. She didn’t look up from the sheets of paper she was looking over when she responded as well, completely focused on fixing the issue that she couldn’t seem to understand.

“Yeah I am- because you’ve stopped taking care of yourself and you won’t let anyone help you” Lusher snapped back, causing Bada to finally look up and meet her harsh gaze. The younger dancer’s arms were crossed and her brows were furrowed, making her look more like a pouty child than an angry adult, but still Bada could feel the frustration radiating off of her. She sighed and stood up, tall stature looming over Lusher for a second before she stood as well.

“Talk to me… this isn’t gonna work if you take everything on yourself” the shorter once again encouraged her teammate to share her troubles. Bada sighed and the two stared at each other for a moment before Lusher turned her head slightly to call out for Tatter. The blonde came bounding over with a somewhat nervous look on her face

“What’s up?” she asked

“You think you’d be able to run things by yourself for a bit?” Lusher questioned in return, causing Bada to cock her head a little, not entirely fond of the idea. But the way the youngest director confidently responds makes her feel a little better about it. The other responds with a quick ‘great’ and a smile, before dragging Bada out of the practice room and slightly down the hall to one of the small dancer lounges.

“Alright- let’s hear it.” Lusher claps her hands together as she sits on the couch and crosses one leg over the other. The leader lets out an amused scoff and shakes her head. She sits down on the other side of the couch and leans on the armrest.

“I just feel stressed about the routine… we’re taking a big risk with what we’re doing and I can’t help but wonder if it’s the right approach…” Lusher eyed her suspiciously, not fully believing the leader

“So it has nothing to do with Y/n?” she tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, the leader huffing at the question

“Well of course it has plenty to do with Y/n- we didn’t exactly leave off on good terms the last time we talked… it’s just more unnecessary added stress that I need to stop thinking about and move past.” Bada finished her reasoning in a reserved manner, looking away from the girl next to her

“Woah- wait- you think that’s really something you should just ignore??” Lusher was genuinely shocked, not used to her leader being so avoidant. Maybe it was her way of trying to remain relaxed and cool, but the younger dancer could see how terribly the whole situation was affecting her friend, and it definitely wasn’t something to just be left alone.

“Well, I have better things to worry about right now than some childish dancer who clearly can’t control her emotions” the shorter girl scoffed completely unamused

“This is coming from the person who blew up on her just as easily- come on Bada, you’ve never been a hypocrite so don’t start now” She couldn’t help but laugh a little at how childish the leader was being without even realizing it

“So you’re taking her side now?” Bada looked pretty offended, telling the other dancer just how serious she was with her question. Lusher sighed deeply

“I’m not taking anyone’s side, but you both were really shitty to each other… neither of you should’ve said the things you said- but by you saying how immature and emotional she is, you’re pretty much saying it all about yourself because you two had the same energy going on…” she tried to explain calmly, which resulted in another immature response from the leader

“I was simply matching her energy-” Bada pouted as she talked, and Lusher usually would’ve found it cute if it were any other situation

“Right, which by your definition was childish and irrational…” the leader scoffed and looked away, playing with her sleeve. There were a few moments of silence

“You know she’s not doing well either…” the sub-leader spoke up after a while

“Yeah? And how would you know?” the taller girl mumbled, still not looking away from her sleeve, finding the loose string much more interesting than the conversation at this point

“Uhm, I asked her?” she posed it as a question, but it was meant in a sarcastic way, pointing out the obvious answer. Bada quickly snapped her head back up to finally look over at the younger girl

“Oh, so you’ve been talking to Y/n?” Lusher sighed again after seeing her friend’s irritated expression make a return

“Of course I have, she’s our friend- well she’s my friend, I don't know what she is to you” she responded softly and sincerely, yet mumbled the last part, causing the leader to scoff for probably the thirteenth time during this conversation

“C’mon Seoyoung, be serious right now- this isn’t the time for your silly little delusions-” Bada tried to joke slightly and steer her away from the door they were about to open

“No, you be serious Bada. you know damn well she’s more important to you than you’d like to admit. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were practically in love with her.” the older of the two let out a laugh of disbelief at her teammate’s (accurate) accusation

“In love? With y/n? That hilarious Lusher- really funny actually. I’d love to know where your brain comes up with things like that.” her tone was low and sarcastic, becoming mean and condescending, similar to how it was the last time she spoke with Y/n

“Oh don’t fucking talk to me like that- you’re not gonna treat me like I’m an idiot because I know you better than that. Stop putting your insecurities onto the people who care most about you when they’re trying to help Bada” The room went silent and the older stood straight up in her place, eyes softening at the callout. It was strange to hear Lusher talk to her like that, or even hear her talk like that at all. Sure, the girl teased her a lot, but the two had never gotten into a serious back-and-forth argument like this. Bada thought at that moment that maybe she really could be the problem, seeing as how no one else had been getting into screaming matches like she had recently.

“I just don’t understand why she couldn’t just talk to me…” Bada mumbled sadly burying her head in her arms

“Because she was stressed out and hurt… I mean- if my girlfriend voted to eliminate my group, I would be hurt too-” Lusher tried easing the mood with some light teasing

“Seoyoung…” the older girl dramatically glared at her, but both knew the look held no real malice

“Okay my bad- sorry, but you get the point.” she rushed out in turn

“I do, but she said she understood…” the leader once again drifted off, focus going elsewhere

“Okay, and? She can understand your reason and still be upset about it. Especially since there were other things that were probably weighing down on her… you have to remember, we weren’t the only ones who voted to eliminate Jam Republic… EVERYONE voted for them… and since they had already been facing setbacks from the moment they got to New Zealand she was probably struggling a lot-” Lusher tried to help her understand, but Bada wasn’t having it

“yeah, she was struggling but I was too- you didn’t see me taking it out on her did you?” she tried to retort, but was met with Lusher’s immediate response

“but you did take it out on her! Just not immediately…”

“Lusher you saw everything- you know how hard everything was for me-“ and it was true, lusher did see everything, just like she’s seeing it now. She witnessed one of her best friends completely lose her confidence and doubt all of her abilities while keeping it bottled up. But she was the only one who saw.

“Right, but she didn’t, Bada… How is she supposed to know that if you don’t tell her-”

“She didn’t tell me anything!” it felt like an argument was starting again. The older of the two truly not seeing the whole problem, or at least not recognizing her part in it

“Right, but you pushed her to talk about something she didn’t want to share with you- why? I don’t know- but that’s none of my business! YOU need to figure out what went wrong…” Lusher explained from the objective point of view

“I get that, but how is it fair for her to shut me out and then get bitchy with me, but when I do it in return that’s not okay?”

“Oh my god- Bada, it wasn’t okay for either of you to act that way! But your retaliating after pressuring y/n to talk about something she wasn’t ready to talk about seems like your own fault…you were so fucking mean to her Bada- like- the things you said were awful and absolutely not okay!” The younger of the two allowed her voice to increase, finally getting her point across. Lusher watched as Bada’s face softened again, feeling like she finally got through to her, even just a little bit.

“...I know” The older hung her head and covered her eyes, as Lusher sighed and sat down next to her, leaning her head on Bada’s shoulder.

“I know she treated you badly too, what she said wasn’t okay either- but it wasn’t charged like yours was” Bada scoffed and wiped her tears that she didn’t even realize had fallen

“yeah, and how do you know?” she shifted slightly to glance down at the younger girl, but Lusher just kept staring off into the space ahead of them

“Well- maybe at first it was a little bit… but at some point, she had already given up on fighting and just wanted to get out of there… believe me, Bada, she knows how bad she fucked up too…”

That week had been just as terrible for Team Bebe as it had been for Jam Republic. The last day before filming they ended up making drastic changes to really sell the concept, causing everyone to be exhausted the next day, but luckily they were all able to hold off until after filming had finished.

The team now sat in their designated area, everyone carrying a very negative intimidating intense energy, except Lusher who was just exhausted from still having to play the mediator at this point. After all teams have settled in and the production staff is ready to go, Kang Daniel begins recapping the mission for the audience members and announces the first concept shortly after. Deep n Dap’s video was shown first.

Y/n felt another wave of depression rush over her as she watched the video. It was so well organized and put together, and hearing how loud everyone else was cheering for the green team made her feel nauseous all over again. Yet the young dancer was able to preserve her face and not let her anxiety show, although she didn’t make a single sound or expression for the entire video. Once Deep n Dap’s score was revealed the entire team of Jam Republic began to get nervous seeing how high all three directors had scored.

Shortly after, it was Jam Republic’s turn. Kirsten had been asked about their rehearsal process and was only able to get a few words out before she started tearing up. The leader finally showed her tears, and Y/n hung her head holding her breath knowing she'd cry too if she didn't. When the score for Jam Republic’s leader was shown, y/n felt herself genuinely smile for the first time in three days.

Once the video started and everyone was cheering, y/n felt herself start to lighten up a little- but was also still frustrated at the circumstances- seeing as they all had no faith in Jam Republic and now here they are cheering for them. Witnessing how well the video turned out after all their trials and efforts, and how much everyone loved the individual parts really made Y/n feel so much better. It shocked everyone slightly that y/n wasn't showcased or highlighted at all, but they had no problem pointing her out since she still stood out due to her energy.

“Oh- Y/n didn’t have any highlights?” Redlic commented as the applause died down

“I guess they weren’t able to give her something with all the idea changes…” To be completely honest, Y/n didn’t want a highlight. When the crew began reworking their choreography and it came to the segment that had featured the youngest dancer, Y/n told Latrice to cut it. She was still not allowed to practice at the time and felt it was unfair to the other dancers and her team.

It actually made Bada feel really bad about herself- because, for the first time since meeting the girl, she was glad y/n wasn't in the spotlight. When the leader realized she was thinking this way it made her feel even worse about the situation, knowing how hard this all was on the younger girl, and she did nothing but make that worse for her. She felt conflicted the entire time watching the video- while she was mostly glad she didn’t have to watch Y/n be in the center of attention and was able to avoid accidentally reacting to how pretty she was; Bada was also annoyed that she wasn’t showcasing her talents like she normally did. Knowing how skilled the young dancer was, her presence alone probably would’ve guaranteed Jam Republic a win, so what reason was there for her not to be given her own part?

The other two scores were revealed and the team felt immense pride. However, any relief Y/n was feeling was ripped away just as quickly as it arrived. Daniel announced the 100-point deduction from Kirsten’s score due to them failing to meet the minimum amount of required dancers and y/n felt her stomach drop. The gasp she let out was followed by tears although she managed to push them back- she truly thought she was going to be sick. Y/n had to physically cover her mouth, to avoid letting out a sob or to stop herself from throwing up? She doesn’t even know. This poor girl is literally internally losing her shit and having a mental breakdown over the fact that they could lose to deep n dap.

Moments pass as Daniel re-explains the extra concept points that would be rewarded to the crew that executed the outdoor concept better according to the judges. When it was revealed that Jam Republic won the points Y/n burst into tears and covered her face with both hands as her shoulders shook with sobs.

“Ahhh the baby” Amy whined in sympathy, pouting along with Redy and Lia

“She must’ve been so stressed” Waackxy pouted as she and her teammates nodded

“DON’T CRYYYYYY” Lusher was the only one from Bebe to shout out to her, the others kind of just side-eyeing her

“What? She still deserves comfort… she’s not a bad person, she just did a not good thing… I wouldn’t even call it a bad thing” The sub-leader sternly eyed up her teammates, then her leader, already tired of how they were acting.

"she cries too much" Bada was mumbling to herself but made sure to say it loud enough for the girl in front of her to hear. Lusher whipped around and pursed her lips, her nostrils flaring as she forced herself to take deep breaths

"For someone who got into an argument over immaturity, you're acting really childish." the younger of the two whispered calmly, but everyone could feel the rage simmering in her. She turned back around and her face immediately reverted back to one of pride for the pink team.

“Y/n, you were extremely ill during the second half of the rehearsal process-” Bada tilted her head, eyebrows furrowing in confusion and concern at Daniel’s words. She was sick? Is she okay now?

“How do you feel that impacted your overall performance?” the host questioned after Kirsten and Emma had finished giving their speeches. The youngest member sniffed and wiped her tears as she was handed the microphone, taking a deep breath before speaking

“Well…” she sighed and felt more tears coming

“It was extremely difficult for me personally, obviously… but I couldn’t help but feel like a burden to my team…” the youngest member let out a sob as she tried to finish her sentence. Audrey rubbed her back, comforting her friend.

“So I did my best to attentively take notes and help where I could, while actively reviewing the choreography until I was well enough to perfect it on my own…” Y/n was able to finish more stably after taking a few deep breaths and calming herself down. Daniel nodded and smiled sympathetically before thanking her and moving on.

“Wow… she taught herself everything in her own time and practiced it less than the others… and still looked that good???” NOB cocked her head, genuinely stunned by how dedicated and talented the youngest Jam Republic member was.

After 1 Million and Mannequeen’s videos were both shown and scores were revealed, announcing that 1 Million had taken the win, it was time to move on to the all-gender concept groups. Lady Bounce’s video was shown first, and they scored extremely well, seeing as it was well executed and had a lot of energy. The team had received a generally positive reaction during interim checks and also finished off strong with positive feedback from the judges. Both Bebe's and Y/n’s nerves were beginning to rise.

When it came time for Bebe’s video to play, everyone was interested to see what the team did with the feedback. Since Jam Republic was seemingly able to come back from near-elimination, the other crews were curious to see if Bebe would be able to do the same, or if they would simply take the other team’s place as the least impressive performance.

Right off the bat, Y/n was already distraught. The amount of partner work really threw her for a loop because it wasn’t like that before… and she literally thought she was gonna burst into tears again. She knew it was obviously just acting, but the young dancer still hated it and lowkey felt like it was a punishment, even though it clearly wasn’t.

The entire time, she watched with a heavy heart. It was so good and she couldn’t even tell anyone how proud she was of them, especially Bada, so Y/n just there and silently let tears roll down her face the whole time. Her eyes were on Bada as soon as it ended. She of course didn’t look her way, but y/n continued to clap as hard as she could, knowing if she were to open her mouth and cheer she’d probably let out a sob

“It was just really good… I’m glad it turned out so well” she said wiping her tears and putting on a very fake smile trying her hardest to look happy and not utterly heartbroken, knowing how the camera picked up every reaction. Audrey once again patted her friend’s back and gave her a sympathetic smile. When Bebe’s score was shown everyone was shocked to see that it was lower than Lady Bounce’s- not by a ton, but still lower. Y/n felt her heart rate start to pick up, getting nervous at the thought of Bebe losing the whole challenge and ending in the elimination battle.

Bada started her speech well but only got about two words in before feeling a surge of emotions. She quickly recognized the hard work of her team and spoke on how she would continue to improve and grow as a director, before affirming it all with a nod and handing the microphone back over. Wolf’Lo’s performance followed, and Y/n wasn’t shocked at all when she continued to be unimpressed by the group’s work. However, despite her exhaustion and anxiety, the youngest Jam Republic member was still able to pull out an expressive reaction to the orange team scoring higher than Bebe.

“That’s fucking ridiculous…” Y/n glared at the screen, unable to hide her distaste. Emma snorted at the girl’s reaction

“Good to see you haven’t lost your judgment” the older girl teasingly smirked at her teammate who just smiled lightly and shook her head. Daniel moves on to announcing which of the three teams received the bonus points for executing their concept the best. Ladybounce took the win and y/n began to panic more seeing that Bebe came in last out of the three. When they showed the current rankings based on judges' scores, she was relieved Jam Republic wasn’t at risk for elimination, seeing Bebe in sixth place had her head spinning. She was really hoping the audience votes would keep her safe and boost Bebe in the ranks as well.

The host began announcing the final ranks for the mission, after adding in audience votes and views. 1 Million placed first, not surprising anyone, since their performance was practically flawless. Jam Republic was called for second place and all six of the members felt the tension leave their bodies, even though their safety was guaranteed by their win. Audrey put her arm around y/n and the girl was able to smile a little bit more at their victory, still not completely present in the moment due to how much of a nervous wreck she was for Bada and her team. Now that Y/n knew she was one hundred percent safe, she should’ve felt relieved, but no such feeling came.

While the other members debated who tied with Mannequeen for third between Ladybounce and Bebe, y/n just continued to lay with her head on Audrey’s shoulder, totally zoned out. Ladybounce won and the youngest jam member tensed up while applauding, not moving from her teammate's shoulder. When Bebe is announced as fifth it takes y/n a second to come out of her daze, and when she does she sits straight up and feels tears sting her eyes again. She’s able to hold them back as she applauds, finally feeling genuine relief knowing that the team is safe.

Bada was handed the mic to give her speech, and much like everyone else who had held the microphone at one point today, she began to tear up. Of course, all the natural stress and anxiety of the challenge and competition as a whole had gotten to her, but everything had hit so much harder since she wasn’t able to share any of it with Y/n. The leader felt tears rush faster, no matter how hard she tried to keep them back. After taking a few deep breaths and racing some encouraging pats on the back from her team, Bada was able to speak up

“I’m glad we always scored well in previous missions, but it was a lot of pressure going into this knowing how high the standards were for us…” the tall leader started off

“It’s really all thanks to the members for keeping things going while i wasn’t at my best, so thank you. We’ll continue to keep showing great performances.” Bada finished with a firm not and grateful smile, evoking applause from the other teams. Deep n Dap and Wolf’Lo place in sixth and seventh by default, meaning they are the two teams up for elimination. Daniel announces that both teams are free to go prepare for the battles now and everyone disperses, heading back to their individual hideouts. Jam Republic is one of the last groups to head up to their room, along with Mannequeen, seeing as the two were hyping each other’s videos up.

“Oh shit- I think I left my phone down there…” Y/n sighed in annoyance after feeling around for her phone and not finding it

“Do you want me to come with you to check?” Emma offered, but the younger just shook her head

“No, it’s okay. I’ll meet you guys back in the room” she replied and the others nodded, then they both parted ways. Y/n went back down to the fight zone area, looking around Jam Republic’s seating for her phone, finally finding it next to the bleachers. As she heads back up and begins going down the hall, someone rounds the corner nearly bumping into her.

“Oh- I’m sorry” Y/n meekly whispers at the taller blonde, who at first was glaring down at her, but softened her gaze once she realized how terrible the girl looked. Even under all the stage makeup she had on, Y/n’s eyes were slightly sunken in and didn’t hold the same sparkle they usually did

“It’s fine…” Tatter somewhat dryly responded. Neither of them moved, both simply staring at each other for moments. The older of the two felt the urge to at least create some small talk between them, also harboring some guilty feelings for being cold toward the Jam Republic member.

“How have you been?” she crosses her arms and tries to sound relaxed, not wanting the other girl to feel uncomfortable. Y/n didn’t really know what to say, as she stood stuttering for a few moments, debating whether or not to answer truthfully

“well… I’ve definitely been better” is ultimately what she decides to say. Tatter frowns and her shoulders slump as she sighs

“I’m sorry…” y/n gives her a tight-lipped smile in return, hoping that would be the end, as the whole thing felt incredibly awkward. Yet the older sighed again and continued

“I’m actually sorry for some other things too… I’m sorry for not reaching out to check on you and for being so bitchy. I just saw how distraught Bada was after the whole situation between you two, and I didn’t even stop for a moment to think you could be doing worse… so I’m really sorry y/n” Tatter gently explained with genuine sorrow in her eyes. The other dancer was touched by the apology and a bit taken aback as well

“Thank you Tatter… I really appreciate it. These last few days have been miserable, especially since fighting with Bada… I understand you guys not wanting to talk to me or other things like that because I said some pretty terrible things-” the blonde cut her off with a scoff of a laugh

“Yeah well, you definitely weren’t the only one… I’d even argue that what Bada said was much worse” she strongly retorted, causing the younger girl to sigh and look down

“I know… but I kinda deserved it” Y/n quietly replied feeling her throat begin to close up at the memory

“Not really… I mean sure- you were being an annoying brat, and maybe a tiny bit selfish in the moment, definitely petty-” the other girl calmly argued

“Okay Tatter, was there a point you were trying to make?” the blonde laughed at her friend’s sarcasm, glad to see the slightest smile on the girl’s face, making it known that she wasn’t taking any of it personally

“What I’m trying to say is that even though you were having a rough moment, how Bada dealt with it was absolutely not the right way to go about it. Of course, you were both at fault, but she took it too far.” Tatter finished seriously with a small shake of her head. There was another moment of silence before she began speaking again, shifting the topic slightly

“I bet dealing with this didn’t make it any easier for you to get better, huh?” the older asked in regard to Y/n getting sick and having to continue working on the mission while trying to recover

“No, I actually think it’s part of the reason I got so sick… because I was so stressed out over everything already and that was like- my final straw” The two laughed softly at Y/n’s slightly dramatic statement. Tatter pouts playfully, yet feels genuine heartache for her two friends.

“Things will get better, believe me… she misses you, she’s just so fucking stubborn” Tatter grimaced at the thought of her hard-headed leader and how she’s currently refusing to accept her guilt, causing the tiniest saddest smile to show on y/n’s face.

“I should probably get back to my group now…” the younger softly commented looking down somewhat sadly at her shoes. Tatter hugged her without hesitation and felt Y/n tense up at first, but the short girl quickly relaxed and wrapped her arms around the other in return. They said their goodbyes and right as the blonde watched Y/n turn the corner, she felt a tap on her shoulder and whipped around to see her own teammate.

“what took you so long?” Lusher questioned staring down at the still-empty water bottle the girl said she was going to fill up about 15 minutes ago. Tatter hesitated for a second before deciding it was better to just be honest

“...I was talking to Y/n” she watched as her older teammate’s eyes lit up slightly

“Oh? About?” Lusher curiously and somewhat suspiciously inquired, hoping it would be something good and not about how Tatter decided to beat the shit out of the other girl

“Nothing really, just checking in on her…” the two continued their conversation as they finally began heading back towards their hideout

“Oh, so you’re finally done glaring at her? Good!” the blonde laughed rolling her eyes at the older girl’s sarcasm

“Yeah… I apologized for being bitchy and then we talked a bit about how stressed she was and how it didn’t help when she got sick…” Lusher visibly relaxed at the younger dancer's truthful retelling of the conversation, feeling a bit more at peace knowing she wasn’t alone anymore in the “getting Bada to stop hating Y/n” battle

“I still can’t believe she got so worked up and stressed that she ended up in the hospital” Lusher nonchalantly replied, stopping Tatter in her tracks

“What??” the blonde exasperated, stuck a few steps behind behind the older dancer. Lusher looked around, confused for a moment until she remembered that she was the only one who knew

“Oh yeah, Y/n wound up in the hospital almost as soon as they got back to New Zealand. The doctors said she was so overworked and anxious that it was making her physically ill- that’s why she wasn’t allowed to practice or even be in the rehearsal space at time” Lusher briefly explained the whole situation to her teammate, who stood there with her jaw dropped

“How did you even find this out??” Tatter questioned, still baffled. Lusher’s face went from calm to somewhat guilty for a second

“Well… I had been trying to get in contact with Y/n to see how she was doing, but she wasn’t responding to any of my calls or texts. So I texted Latrice and she explained what was going on, and also made me aware that by texting her, I was lowkey stressing Y/n out more…” she finished with an embarrassed smile, knowing that she and Y/n were okay now and that she didn’t have to feel guilty about it anymore. Tatter scoffed in amusement, shaking her head as they both finally entered their team’s room.

“It took you two long enough!”

____________

After everyone had been given a break while Deep n Dap and Wolf’Lo prepared for their elimination battles, they all gathered in the arena for the show. The bright lights and cheers from the audience amped up the energy and had all the other teams extra hyped.

The first battle was the “hidden battle”, where both teams went head to head as a whole group. Y/n wasn’t expecting more than what she’d usually seen from both groups, but it’s safe to say she was blown away by Deep n Dap’s performance. The song choice and usage of nunchucks really had her getting hyped up, and her normal, energetic self slowly coming back.

The battle to follow was between Chocol and Locker Zee. The young Jam Republic member was fired up, which meant some interesting comments were bound to leave her mouth before passing through her brain

“Bruh it’s so annoying how they’re suddenly so good… like- they were good before but this is AMAZING…” Her entire team side-eyed her, Kirsten and Latrice worried about the show airing what she just said, fearing she could get canceled; the other half trying not to laugh but internally agreed. When the third battle is about to begin and mini walks out and takes off her over shirt showing off her pink jersey, y/n gets excited and points with a smile, since the two are both pink lovers, of course causing her team to smile at her in endearment. When JJ walks out and does the same, y/n starts dying laughing, clapping her hands in amusement along with the rest of her crew. Once the battle starts Mini is the first to dance

“She’s like- actually scary” Y/n jokes around and hides behind Audrey, who laughs and continues to smile just because she’s happy her friend is able to joke around again. The fourth battle was the 5 on 5 and y/n was beginning to get tired of how good both teams were. It felt like things were never going to end, and she was honestly thinking neither team deserved to go home at this point. The fifth battle was another one-on-one with Baby Sleek and Locker Zee, which resulted in another win for Wolf’Lo, bringing the score to 3:2 in favor of Wolf’Lo.

For once, Y/n actually found herself rooting for Deep n Dap, probably because she couldn’t stand Wolf’Lo just as much, or possibly even worse. The sixth battle began, and it was between a duo from each team. Yeni Cho and Haechi came out for the orange team, while JJ and Locker Zee both came out for the green team. Y/n was once again bored by the older team’s presentation, genuinely excited to see what the Deep n Dap duo was about to whip up.

When their music started and everyone recognized it was Michael Jackson, the energy in the room somehow increased even more. JJ and Locker Zee put on a flawless performance, executing each hit and accent perfectly, making sure to connect with each other and the audience.

“BRO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?????” “I DON’T KNOW BUT I NEED MORE OF IT” Audrey and Y/n are literally losing their shit while watching the performance, absolutely obsessed with the duo, hoping to see more of them in the future. As JJ and Locker Zee took the win, it tied up the score once again, bringing them to the final round, which ended up being between the two leaders. This was a battle Y/n was extremely curious about, already not a fan of Halo’s specific style and also aware of Mina Myoung’s incapability to freestyle. But when the music started, she was pleasantly surprised

“WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS SHE EATING?????” Y/n is so baffled by Mina Myoung’s sudden ability to freestyle efficiently. Y/n stood there, fully back to her normal self (at least for the time being) holding onto her hair with her jaw dropped. To her, the improvement (call it that or desperation) was sickening- it was such a pleasant change that Y/n felt Mina deserved the win just for that alone.

However, the win goes to Halo, giving Wolf’Lo the overall gain of staying in the competition, meaning Deep n Dap was the next team to be eliminated. It’s a bit hard to watch, knowing they truly did try their best. Y/n was doing surprisingly well with not crying- well… until Mina started talking. The leader began her speech and the Jam Republic member was able to avoid tears until Mina brought up how she felt she was able to move on from 1 Million. After that, it was like the floodgates opened up. Don’t ask her why, but Y/n took that shit personally, like a shot straight to the heart. Especially when the Deep n Dap leader mentioned her relationship with Lia Kim, y/n felt her ache for them.

As all teams say their goodbyes to Deep and Dap and said team leaves the studio, filming ends for the day. Everyone is either standing around mingling or heading back to their own hideouts. Jam Republic continues their conversation with Mannequeen when Lusher comes bounding over and wraps her arms around y/n congratulating her, nearly scaring the life out of the small girl. When the younger turns around to see who it is, she once again bursts into tears and clings to her. Lusher feels her heart break even more for her friend yet can’t help but giggle softly at how cute the reaction was. Poor y/n was so scared that Lusher hated her too and it brought her the slightest bit of relief knowing that she didn't

Bada watched from where the rest of team Bebe sat in their designated spot, not even trying to hide her irritation at the situation. She was feeling a mix of annoyance (at both y/n and lusher) and watching the interaction once again sent a wave of guilt rushing through her.

"Ya know you can go congratulate her too…" Tatter spoke up from behind the leader. Bada looked over her shoulder at the blonde and scoffed, but it held no malice- she just sounded exhausted

"And why would I go do that?" the team leader looks over her shoulder with a cold stare and a slight look of disgust at the idea

"well for starters so you can stop getting into arguments with your own teammates-" She did have a point… Bada had been much more irritable since the argument, causing a lot of their practice time to be even more strictly ran

"and two, so you can stop making both her and yourself miserable" Ouch Tatter. Ouch.

“Weren’t you just glaring at her too when we walked in?” Bada rolled her eyes and pouted childishly crossing her arms, causing the other girl to snort and respond

“Yeah, but I talked to her in the hallway… she was in the hospital you know-” Tatter responded as if it were common knowledge or a quick throwaway fact about the girl

“What???” the leader’s eyes widened and she uncrossed her arms leaning forward to make sure she heard the girl correctly

“Yeah… got so worked up and anxious over everything she made herself sick apparently” Tatter shrugged, not having all the proper information. Bada sighed and rolled her eyes

“Seriously? Where‘d you even hear this from?” she pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, now fully recognizing and admitting to the guilt she’d been suppressing. Tatter hesitated for a second, debating whether or not to mention her small conversation with the girl they were talking about, ultimately deciding not to.

“Lusher” the blonde gave away her source matter-of-factly. Of course, she heard it from Lusher. Bada was beginning to think if she hadn’t made a move on Y/n first, Lusher would’ve easily swooped in and done so. But now that she and Y/n were fighting, did that mean Bada could potentially lose her to the other girl? Lusher was attentive and understanding, closer to Y/n’s age, and had been the first of team Bebe to interact with Y/n… plus she had been in contact with her after the whole incident. The leader tried not to worry about the irrational possibility of her own teammate stealing the girl she was pining after away from her… but it was still a lingering thought nonetheless.

notes: i needed this chapter to be as long as it was just so you guys didn't have to suffer as much in the next chapter🫶

taglist (open) (continued in replies): @tinybada @angel-hyuckie @violetinferno @jesuschrist2006 @1luvkarina @uwulyn @justandloyal2961 @deadgirlwalking3 @squidvoldyvoid @vivzyo @ouhaika @jksjx @ocyeanicc @marianamartinsthings @jxrdxnh @luvjanexx @lorenztired @khjssss @heavenlycloud @loisje123 @starchasermyloves @zhivaxo @grinnwolph @notyourd0lly @stinkbvgs @nermandiiiii-blog @arujee @idontknownemore @thatgayinsomniac @fruitr0llup @cgriffin9797-blog @woooooya @kaaylvst @ssc7514 @astoreea @linda-botello @kpopgirl-97 @erikook @misszoldyc @sammisregrets @jysai @moonsvrse @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog @tikitsune @aestrelle19 @laaaasanielzz @randomhoex @tswisal1 @unpretty-reader @charlesswife @stella222

#moth to a flame #street woman fighter 2 #bada lee #bada lee x reader #street woman fighter x reader #bada x reader

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sleepingdeath-light · 1 year

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alastor helping his s/o ‘relax’ hcs ; 18+

requested by ; anonymous (27/10/22)

fandom(s) ; hazbin hotel

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; alastor / the radio demon

outline ; “May I please request hc of l alastor and reader with him trying to help them "relax" and "let off some steam" after they've been coming home late and over working themselves (he also might be feeling lonely with them not being around as much and growing a little possessive :)”

warning(s) ; possessive!alastor, sexual content, rough sex, marking kink, one reference to cannibalism, references to bleeding and overstimulation

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked!!!

working for the ‘happy hotel’ often translated into long hours chasing after your guests and even longer hours spent cleaning up the aftermath of whatever fresh hell you’d gotten yourselves into in order to retrieve them

and for as endlessly optimistic and helpful as your ‘boss’ (who felt more like a friend than an employer, frankly) could be, her responsibilities tended to fall beyond the scope of standard busywork which left you and a small handful of other demons to your own devices

nifty was the most helpful by far when it came to clean-up duty (as husk was usually off drinking to forget what you’d just played witness to and alastor was off doing things that only occasionally happened to help out the hotel)

but either way it was still a lot of work for you to handle and that meant that it had been a long while since you and your partner-in-death had been able to spend some time together

well, time that wasn’t spent discussing your work, that is

and after a good month of this, your patience had more than worn thin and the two of you agreed to take the rest of the day off and spend it as couples do

it’s the third day of the new month and you’re already beyond done by the time you stumble into your shared bedroom, slamming the door shut with your heel as you groan and fight the urge to scream out your frustrations

and alastor is already waiting for you, the radio playing your song as he greets you with a grin — bright eyes scanning over you and taking you in for the first time in far too long

he keeps up the facade of polite concern for a few beats as you walk over to him and wrap your arms around him, pressing your lips to his as you take in his presence — his scent, his look, his voice, his everything — after so long spent apart

but then he presses a kiss to the crown of your head and pauses before his claws fly to your waist and he practically growls out something about it being far too long and him needing to reaffirm that you’re spoken for lest some more ungentlemanly demon try to stake his claim upon you

and that translates rather simply to a long day of toe-curling, mind-blanking, overwhelming, rough sex

your uniform (issued by vaggie, of course) is immediately torn off of you, shredded under sharp claws and carelessly discarded to the floor before you’re practically tossed onto the bed

his large hands roam up and down your body — groping, pinching, scratching and clawing every inch of bare skin that was exposed to him

and soon he started using his mouth in conjunction with this

not stopping until you were covered in marks — bites and bruises and scratches — that screamed ‘this one belongs to the radio demon’

then, finally satisfied with your state, he gives you both what you’ve been craving and finally takes you

he fucks you in every position the two of you can manage: riding, bending, twisting, laying, standing — anything and everything is on the table

until you’re screaming his name

until you’re so fucked out and cock drunk that you’re only able to cry and sob and scream for him

until you’re covered in blood and sweat and cum

until the sheets are peeling up at the corners and your mattress is practically hanging off of the bed

until he’s had his fill of you and knows that everyone else knows that you’re his — that he’s the only one who can touch you like this

then he will relent and roll off of you and summon some fresh food that he’d picked up earlier that day, happy to indulge you for being such an obedient and receptive toy

i hope you like the taste of earth-born sinners

#sleepingdeath #gender neutral reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #alastor x reader #alastor smut #minors dni #minors fuck off #smut #smut hcs #hazbin hotel alastor x reader #first fandom request #minors will be blocked #ageless blogs dni #ageless blogs will be blocked

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rootbeersturniolo · 1 month

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part 1 here

the second part of this series.

pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: two weeks had passed after the death of their bestfriend, and it still remained a mystery yet to be solved. it wouldn't take long before more secrets began to unravel, and there was only one question left to ask; would you love somebody enough to die for them?

warnings: mentions of murder and death, murder in detail, grief, blood, weapons (knives and guns), anxiety, smut, suggestive, homophobia, being laced, attempted assault

It's been two weeks.

Not that it feels real yet.

Two weeks of starring off into space, watching detectives scope out our dorm room. Natalie’s entire side of the room has been demolished. Pictures and memories deemed as evidence in her case.

They’ve been going at it for a while now, but there were still no updates. The corner kept quiet, they said legally they couldn’t say anything else. My parents told me they were actually just stumped on who could’ve pulled off such a crime.

She was found the morning after the party. Which meant we were the last to have ever seen her. Her blonde hair flowing through the air as she closed the door in Jackson’s face, subconsciously saying goodbye to us all even if she had no idea what would come next.

Her body was covered in her crimson blood. Her clothes, hair, and skin were stained permanent in her own defeat. They counted fourteen wounds throughout her body.

Absolutely none were self defense.

It wasn’t a surprise. She was drunk. She was drunk and weak, incapable of protecting herself as she walked back to campus.

I should’ve been there with her. I should’ve walked back with her. If I did there was still a chance she would be alive. Or there was a chance I would be dead too. Which wouldn’t necessarily be the worst thing. Not anymore.

Her smile is engrained in my head and I’ve been so scared that one day it's going to go away, I don't want to ever forget it.

When she was alive I was so focused on myself. So focused on Matt, school, and the annoying rumors that she spread.

But now she's gone and I want her back more than anything.

I want more sleepovers on her trampoline where we told each other our deepest secrets. I want to be sitting on the hot pavement, doodling onto the sidewalk with cheap chalk while we mindlessly talk about middle school drama. I want her back for everything that made her good.

How can somebody become a memory? She was laying in bed next to me, talking about her and Jackson two weeks ago, and now all I have left is the impact she left behind. How is that fair to her?

How is it fair to be known by what you put into the earth in a mere nineteen years?

The funeral was terrible. Her family became my family, and seeing them so broken only filled me with more guilt.

"You're just getting ridiculous."

I was so mad at her, so fuelled with anger that I couldn't think about anything else, and now I’d witnessed her parents, sobbing onto the coffin while her older brother stays strong for them.

“Do you have anything better to do?”

My last words to her.

On repeat every time I visit her.

She did so much good, and I was too focused on the bad to see that.

Although grief shows up differently for everyone, we’ve all been taking it hard. Nick took the most time to process, he was unable to fathom a world without her in it, and I held him as he cried in my arms after the funeral.

That’s the only thing that made her death feel real. Not the news reports, or the empty dorm I came home to. Instead seeing her lifeless body, covered in makeup she wouldn't have applied herself. Somehow still looking beautiful as ever.

Jackson became overly distant. It seemed unlike him to say so little about someone he loved so much. None of us wanted to push him though. His relationship with Natalie wasn’t one I wanted for myself, but they relied on each other to get by, and now he feels utterly alone.

The whole city feels different. Remnants of her everywhere I look. I just can’t escape as much as I try. As much as I try and pretend everything’s still ok. The truth is nothing will ever be truly ok again.

At least not for me.

“I'll just get an order of fries and a vanilla milkshake please.” | smiled at the waitress, the maroon apron resting on her waist while she takes my order. She nods as she turns her head away from me.

“And for you?” She asked, referring to Matt who sat across from me, a knit sweater resting on his body. The body that I knew like the back of my hand.

Matt and I haven’t been out since Natalie died. Date nights had always been a common thing for us, but it’s taken me awhile to bring myself to leave the house.

Natalie was murdered. Stabbed and killed by another human being. Another soul, yet no remorse filled their bones.

I couldn’t bear the overwhelming amount of evidence that she was in fact dead. I moved into Matt’s dorm for the time being. His roommate left for break, which meant I could easily sneak in for days on end. His arms wrapped around mine while fresh tears coated the dry.

Instead of rotting in the once shared dorm, I laid inside of Matt’s room. My mind never letting me forget what happened to Natalie. My dreams, my thoughts, everytime I closed my eyes.

For once though, I’m more focused on the cute smile on Matt’s face while he orders than I am about the tragic events that took place. The way his fingers toy with one another as he speaks, picking at his skin to get him through having to order himself.

We decided on a vintage diner that's been open in our town since forever. The same place he took me on our first date. I smile slightly as I reminisce the innocence of it all, how awkward he had been asking me out, how he went above and beyond with fresh flowers and a kiss goodnight.

“What’s got you all smiley?” He asked as the waitress left to give our order to the chef. His hands overtook my own on the surface of the table, his silver rings brushing against my gold.

“I just love you at lot.” I replied, feeling my cheeks tensing up slightly at the grin that exhausts the muscles in my face. The skin heating up as a light pink scattered across it.

“That's really the only reason?” He asks as he furrows his eyebrows. His gaze glued onto mine, like he could almost look through me. I sighed, relaxing my shoulders completely.

“Remember our first date? I was just thinking about the car ride to this diner, and how scared you were to hold my hand as you drove.” I giggled lightly. He cringed in embarrassment, placing his hands over his face to cover his now red cheeks. I took his hands back, bringing them to my own and forcing his gaze towards me. "It was cute."

“I can’t even think of myself two years ago. I was so—” He began to speak again before the sound of my voice cut him off. “So what? So thoughtful, so caring, so attractive…” I listed off, causing him to roll his eyes.

“I fell in love with you two years ago. The same way I’m in love with you now.”

“Wow, you are so corny.” He jokes, shaking his head with a soft chuckle.

“Ok, ok. I’ll stop. I’m just really happy to have you here for me. I couldn’t go through this alone.” I smiled at him. He cleared his throat with a soft nod, his eyes focusing on the waitress bringing us our food.

We leaned out, our hands now lifting from one another's as she places my milkshake and fries in front of me, Matt getting the exact same thing. "Thank you.” I smile at the girl, her footsteps now echoing as she left behind a small smile.

Matt brings a fry to his mouth.

"Is there a reason you get the same thing as me everytime?" I laughed softly, taking a sip of my vanilla milkshake. The cold liquid refreshing my body from the so called tragedy of the hot sun beaming outside.

"Will you make fun of me?" He asked, causing me to shake my head, my mouth still surrounding the colored straw. “I got the same thing as you on our first date, because I didn’t know what to do and I figured you’d have good taste.” He spoke again.

I laughed with a slow nod as I replied. “Did you at least like it?”

“Course’ I do. I was right when I said you have good taste.” He smiled.

The date continued on how they normally do. I finished my food way quicker than Matt, leaving me with more time to talk while he caught up on eating his food.

He had always been my favorite listener. Never judging and always playing sole attention to whatever nonsense left my mouth. He never made me feel alone. He never made me feel small.

When I was with Matt I felt just right.

After our date ended we arrived back at his dorm, my body heading straight for his bed, the place I’ve been rotting in for two weeks. My parents are too busy trying to find the person who killed Natalie to be home, comforting their own daughter.

It wasn’t anything new, and I wasn’t surprised in the slightest. That’s how it had always been in the Parker household.

Work came first, family came last.

When I was younger it bothered me more. All I wanted was for my parents to be there for me more. All I wanted was the slightest amount of attention from them.

In the third grade I got caught up on trying to break my arm, seeing as how Natalie did too. Her parents showered her with gifts, love, and attention. Something I had wanted more than anything, and had only received it from Matt.

“Can we please just watch Perks of Being a Wallflower? I haven't watched it in so long." I asked, cuddled up against Matt with my arm hanging over his stomach.

“Isn’t that the really sad one?” He raised his eyebrow, his chin resting on the top of my head as his hand rubbed small lines on my back. One of his shirts placed over my body. It smelt like his cologne and whiskey. My favorite scent in the entire universe.

The room is dark, the TV illuminating the space just enough for me to focus on his hand on the remote, the way his rings fit perfectly around the curves of his fingers.

“It’s not that sad—just the ending, but sad endings are ok if the rest of the story is good.” I finally replied, my eyes meeting his.

“Fine.” He sighed in defeat, his fingers on the remote control spelling out the letters of my favorite movie. The movie I haven’t watched in so long, because I’ve been caught up with everything else.

I hoped it would bring me back a sense of comfort. The comfort that I badly needed after my life turned into such a mess.

But that was selfish of me to say.

Because after all, I still had a life.

The movie started playing, the volume filling the room as Matt’s soft breaths blew against my hair my wind. For whatever reason, my brain couldn’t focus on the film in front of me.

All I could think about was Natalie.

Her last words, the fear she must have felt, how much she wanted to live and wasn’t given the opportunity.

There was a possibility she was too drunk to even comprehend was happening, but there was also a possibility that she understood everything. Maybe she wanted to fight back.

My breathing started to quicken uncontrollably, thoughts of her death overtaking my human need to receive oxygen.

Matt noticed almost instantly, like he always did. He placed his hand on my heart and paused the movie, his arms tighter against my body as he paused his movements against my back.

“Shh, it’s ok. You’re ok. You’re safe with me here.” He whispered, my eyes trying to stay focused on him as he scanned my face, concern and confusion covering his expression.

It wasn’t fair.

What happened to Natalie wasn’t fair, and if I wasn’t too concerned in saving my own ass and protecting myself against the rumors, I could’ve saved her instead.

But I didn’t.

Instead I watched as she walked through the party door. I didn’t say anything as she looked at me for help with what to say to Jackson. I didn’t offer to walk her back to our room.

I just let her leave.

I didn’t know she wouldn’t come back. I didn’t know any of this would happen. If I did I sure as hell wouldn’t have even let her leave that night. Maybe then I could’ve protected her. Just like friends are supposed to.

But Natalie and I were never just friends. We were sisters, and we fought like we were.

“No, I wanted the pink skirt.” Natalie spoke, frustration plastered on her face as she ripped the mauve laced fabric from my small hands. I sighed in annoyance, reaching out for the skirt once more.

“You didn’t say that.” I replied, holding it against my chest as she glared at me. If her eyes were really lasers, I’d be long gone by the way her gaze was glued against me. Her hands empty as I held what she wanted in mine.

We only had two skirts. One pink and one blue, obviously neither of us wanting to wear the dark blue one compared to the glitter filled pink.

It was too late for her parents to go back to the store, the time approaching nearly nine at night. Instead, we had to use what we had; one pink and one blue skirt.

“Just give it back.” She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. I shook my head, holding the skirt closer to my body. She rolled her eyes at my words.

Natalie’s mom pushed through the double doors, spotting us bickering in the living room. Our stance clearly telling her that something was wrong, if not our words.

“She can have the skirt Nat, she’s our guest.” Her mom sighed, picking up the blue skirt and handing it to Natalie who shook her head in response. Now I was the one rolling my eyes, watching as Natalie walked from the room, leaving both skirts behind and finding her way to her bedroom.

“You two fight like sisters.” Her mom mumbled, smiling gently as she followed Natalie through the double doors.

Soon enough my breathing slowed, the memory easing my mind. His hand cupped my jaw as his thumb left soft strokes on my cheek, almost as if he was wiping away everything bad.

“I know it’s hard baby, but she’s better now. It’s your turn to get better now too, yeah?” He spoke, his eyes finding mine again. “No more rumors, no more lies.” He hummed.

“I just wish it wasn’t this hard.” I sighed, not a single tear running down my cheek. It wasn’t because I hadn’t been sad. It’s because I’ve ran out of tears entirely.

Endless nights spent without a dry face. My eyes burning from how much I rubbed them as the tip of my nose turned red. It didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing, because everywhere reminded me of her.

“I’m sorry.” He breathed out, carefully bringing my head back to his chest. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I wish I could take all your pain away. I promise I would.” He hummed, placing his hand over my head as he ran it against my hair, his other laced around my waist.

We sat in silence for a few moments, the distant sound of the air conditioning filling the room along with kisses placed on my head.

My mind slowed down again, only one remaining thought in my head while Matt moved his hands from my back to my side, only to reassure me, but I couldn’t help but to have already decided on what I had wanted.

“Matt.” I spoke up again, lifting my head from his chest one more. His eyes were already on mine as he hummed in response, furrowing his eyebrows gently as he awaited my words.

“Can you just—” I breathed out, pausing as my lip got caught between my teeth. He nodded slowly, gesturing for me to continue. “Can you distract me please?” I whispered.

He gave me a soft smile before picking up the remote once more. I let out a soft breath as I shook my head, placing his hand down. He was so clearly confused now.

I hesitated before pushing my body from his, my legs wrapping around his waist as I straddled him. I pushed my hair behind my shoulders, my pleading eyes finding his again.

“Oh.” He whispered, his cheeks flushing pink as he placed his hands on my waist, his touch was gentle. Too gentle, like he thought I would break.

“Please, just distract me.” I mumbled, leaning down as I placed my lips against his. We both breathed into the kiss, his hands placing a gentle pressure on my sides, a touch so delicate it causes goosebumps to form on my arms at the familiar contact.

This kiss isn’t like most we’ve shared in our two years of being together. Instead of slow and sensual, it’s desperate, hungry.

Maybe it was the fact we hadn’t had sex since the night of the party. Maybe it was all of our emotions unfolding together.

Either way, I couldn’t stop kissing him.

Our lips moved together in a unison that was comfortable while our tongues had a chance to explore each others mouth, like many other times.

Matt always knew what I was in need of. Most of the time he knew before I knew it myself, and right now, I knew I needed him.

My own hands traveled to his hair while he shifted to position himself above me, the familiar horse necklace dangling and grazing my neck.

Right then, it was as if I needed to be as close to Matt as possible, like I was craving his touch desperately, and it’s all I can think about. He pulled away, the small amount of light in the room outlining his jaw while he spoke.

“Are you sure you want this?”

I thought for a second, my body wanted it so badly, and as much as my brain had been occupied recently, I didn’t think a distraction would hurt.

I nodded, maybe a little too eagerly based on the loose laugh that he breaths out. “You’ve been so stressed.” He leaned into my neck, placing soft, plush kisses to my neck. “Just relax, yeah?”

I just nodded again, attempting to stay still as his gentle kisses leave me restless below him. His hands on my side trail up, grazing over my chest. He removed his lips from my neck, bringing them back against mine.

The feeling of his nose brushing up against my own could’ve put me into a trance, along with the way he bit my bottom lip gently as he pulled out of the kiss, his hands now pulling up my shirt— well, his shirt.

I held up my arms, allowing the fabric to move over my head, leaving me exposed underneath him. He looked at me for a moment, his eyes trailing up and down as I shifted uncomfortably, waiting for him to do something.

“Matt, please. I need you.” I whined. I was more desperate than ever for any form of relief. Matt leaned back in, kissing directly below my ear before whispering.

“Shh— I’ve got you. You’re good.”

Something about Matt is how much he cherished me at all times. Whether it was something as simple as walking on the side of the sidewalk that’s closest to the road, or something more intimate like right now.

He treated me like I was the best thing to ever grace the earth, and it felt like a title I was unfit to hold sometimes.

His hands roamed my chest momentarily. His fingers placing gentle pressure on every single sensitive section of my body. The only thing I can focus on is the way the pads of his fingers trace over my nipples, and the way he’s practically unable to remove his lips from one.

His hand slid down the center line of my stomach, placing a pressure on my clothed core before leaning out of the kiss.

“You deserve the world, you know that?”

I rolled my eyes playfully in response, pushing down a smile as I looked to him with urgency in my gaze. If anyone was going to be a complete cornball right before sex, it’s Matt.

He shifted down the bed, aligning his face with my lower half and immediately plants a kiss right above where I need him. I began to slide my blue shorts off, clearly eager to get started, but Matt just grabbed my hands and looked at me.

“So impatient, Char. I just want to take my time with you.” He cooed, placing my hands back onto my own stomach as his nose made contact with my clit through two layers of clothing.

My stomach filled with even more butterflies due to his words mixed with his actions. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes momentary as I tried to maintain the aching sensation.

I tried my best to stay still under his affectionate touch, but it was nearly impossible when he began to finally slide off the layers of fabric that are keeping me from him.

I pushed my hips up to help him, still incredibly desperate for any relief he can provide me. He knew exactly how to get me worked up, and I was definitely there.

He removed my shorts along with my underwear off of my ankles before re aligning his face with my aching core. His hands made contact with my legs, lifting them up over his shoulders before his tongue finally got put to use.

It began gentle, just the tip of his tongue starting to explore everywhere expect where I wanted. My hips pushed down against the mattress.

“Matt if you don’t do it for me, I’m going to do it myself.” I groaned through a sigh, getting less patient by the minute. Usually I could take his teasing, but again, I’m not usually this needy.

He just smiled before placing an open mouthed kiss directly into my clit, causing me to arch into the touch. The feeling sending shivers through my entire body.

His movements were soft, but the pressure of his tongue was enough to have me moaning out spewed sentences as he lapped around my clit. My hands immediately make their way to his slightly curled brunette hair, playing with his strands as his hands traveled back up to play with my chest.

The combination of his fast moving tongue over my sensitive clit, and his large hands toying with my hardened nipples had me throwing my head back into the pillow I laid against.

It’s safe to say I was distracted.

Matt picked up the pace now, eager to get me to crumble underneath his touch the way I always did. His hands left my chest, instead being brought down toward my entrance, and asking for my permission without words.

“Please.” I whined, crossing my ankles over his upper back as he detached his mouth from me momentarily. I quickly nodded.

He placed a kiss to my lower stomach as two of his fingers lid into me, curling up slowly as my hips bucked up into his hands subconsciously. His long fingers were definitely a blessing, because they reached my sweet spot without him even having to try.

“Am I making you feel good, pretty girl?” He asked, his voice low but just loud enough for me to hear. Pain mixed with pleasure as he continued to move his hand inside of me.

I nodded instantly, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip as his fingers sped up at a pace that had my mouth watering.

“Tell me what you’re feeling, come on baby.” He said before placing his lips back around my clit, sucking softly as I was expected to speak.

I breathed out, trying my best to muster up my words, because I know Matt well enough to know he’ll stop if I don’t speak. “You—mmph, fuck!” I moaned out, his tongue working at a faster pace that has me squirming around him. His spare hand against my hip to hold me in place.

“You’re so good at making me feel good— you’re the only one who can get me like this.” I replied, bringing my bottom lip in between my teeth to suppress the moans trying to escape.

The initial shock of pure pleasure subsided and my body relaxed into his touch, the only thing I can think about is him and how good he makes me feel. “Just like that.” I moaned, pulling on his hair slightly as his fingers continued curling up into me. “Please Matt.”

He continued without a break, relentlessly flicking his tongue on my clit all while his fingers worked tirelessly to graze my g-spot over and over again.

It didn’t take long before my legs began to close over his head as the pressure building in the pit of my stomach becomes too overwhelming to ignore. “Matt I’m—”

My body acts before I can bear to get the words out, my stomach tensing at the newfound pleasure as his tongue remains ever moving on me until it became too much. “Ok.” I breathed out.

He knew that I was done, and although I could usually go for longer, I’m mentally and physically exhausted, and it’s taken a toll on me in every aspect of my life— apparently including sex.

“I love you so much baby.” Matt reiterated as he shifted up to place a kiss on my neck before helping me slide my shirts back on.

Something about the intimacy in that moment meant more to me than any of the events that took place minutes prior. It’s raw, loving, and it only confirms the love I have for that boy.

“I love you more.” I replied, smiling as he laid beside me on his bed.

I lean into him, his arm reaching over my head, allowing my face to find comfort in the crook of his neck while my leg wrapped around his hips.

His hand made its way to my bare back, stroking small patterns while he scoffed slightly. “I think you forget it’s impossible to love you as much as I do.” He replied quietly.

The words of affirmation never failed to have me flustered, and I truly don’t believe I’ll ever get sick of them. “I am pretty amazing, yeah?” I replied as I pulled myself closer to his body, my bare chest against his clothed.

He just placed a kiss to the top of my head at my words. “Don’t get too cocky now, pretty girl.”

We laid in bed for what felt like hours, but was really a mere ten minutes wrapped against his body. His arms around my waist, rubbing gentle circles against my bare sides.

It was so peaceful. I could’ve fallen asleep, and I almost did until the sound of his phone made me shift again him.

“Who’s calling you?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows as the ring of Matt’s phone echoed throughout the room. He shrugged, shaking his head as he denied the call, wrapping his arms around me once more.

We laid in silence, his fingers tracing shapes on my bare back while our legs stayed intertwined with each others.

After a few moments the familiar ring filled the room again. I pushed my head from his chest, sighing gently as he took his phone in his hands, answering a panicked Chris on the other line. He turned the one on speaker, raising it so we could both hear the other line.

“Matt—” Chris breathed out, a sigh of relief leaving his lips. “Matt, Jackson got arrested. They think he killed Natalie.” He spoke quickly. My heart dropped at his words, my eyes widening as they met Matt’s.

Jackson?

Killing Natalie?

“What?” I asked, cutting Matt off as he was about to speak. “Jackson killed Natalie?” I spoke again, my tone weary and filled with dread. There wasn’t a chance, he wouldn’t do something like that. Especailly not to Natalie.

Right?

“Charlotte, I didn’t know you were—” Chris paused with a sigh, not knowing I had been listening to the conversation. “Yeah, they think so.” He breathed out.

I swallowed the undeniable nerves, nodding to myself as my mind raced. Just like it had been for two weeks.

“Well do they have proof?” I replied, now I was completely sat up next to Matt, his blanket covering my body as our vision remained on each other. Chris sighed on the other line.

“Yeah, some old text messages apparently.”

My heart dropped again. This time resting in my stomach as I brought my lip in between my teeth. Jackson couldn’t have possibly done something so horrible. He doesn’t even seem capable of doing anything like murder.

Then it hit me.

Jackson left the party after Natalie did. After they got into their fight, after she slammed the door in front of his face, telling him they were over for the fifth time this month.

But would he take something so unserious as a need to commit murder? To kill her? He was most definitely drunk, even then it didn’t make sense. I’ve known Jackson almost my entire life.

And I knew that he loved Natalie.

At least that’s what I thought.

The drive to the police station was uncomfortable to say the least. My leg constantly bouncing up and down while my fingers found comfort between my teeth.

Matt had tried to play music to ease the silence but I shut it down insanely fast. I needed to focus on everything going on.

None of this made sense, Jackson’s not a bad person. An asshole maybe, but not a murderer. What he had with Natalie would’ve never ended with such an extreme, a petty argument at most.

There’s many moments in life where for whatever reason it doesn’t feel real. A lot of the time it happens to people on a fascinating vacation or on something loving like their wedding day.

Mine was today.

“Mom.” I breathed out as soon as I stepped into the building, the familiar woman standing beside the registry desk, paperwork in her hands.

If there was even a chance to find out if Jackson was innocent, I wasn’t going to miss it.

She just rushed me into a smaller office without a word. “Mom what’s going on?” I asked. I had a pretty long list of questions rushing through my head but I tried to focus on the present.

My mom is usually good at hiding her emotions, not letting them appear easily on her face. Tonight I could read her like a book, and I knew instantly I wouldn’t like the ending.

“Where were you after the party?” My mom spoke, referring to Matt as he stop beside me. Matt didn’t hesitate before responding. “With your daughter.” He answered, his unfamiliar glare meeting hers.

I furrowed my eyebrows almost instantly at his lie. He wasn’t with me, I was alone that night. I was completely alone considering the fact Natalie hadn’t made it home.

“Charlotte, Is this true? Is Matt telling the truth?” She asked, staring at me with a sense of urgency shooting through her pupils.

I attempt to answer her as quickly as I can in the moment. Although, it’s not easy to ignore the guilt that’s already building up in my stomach.

“Yes mom, he’s telling the truth. He walked me to my dorm and we ended up falling asleep while we were watching a movie together.”

Lying didn’t feel good in the slightest. I constantly remind myself that I’m doing nothing wrong since Matt did nothing wrong. He probably just wanted to avoid looking suspicious because he went to his dorm alone last night.

It’s completely understandable, and besides, I’d do anything for him.

My mom must’ve believed my words because she just nodded slowly, placing her hands against the curves of her hips. “I don’t know Char. It’s not looking good for Jackson.”

I scoffed immediately. She’s working on my bestfriends case, and acting like she knows everything about them.

In reality she was at work so much she barely even met them.

“Jackson’s not a murderer. You guys are wrong about him. He didn’t kill her.” I spoke again as I shook my head with a pleading expression. She barely even registered my words before the door opened again, another officer stepping inside.

My mom’s eyes met mine before I sighed. Just like always, duty calls. It didn’t matter that my bestfriend just died, what mattered was that she was satisfied with her work.

How could I ever forget?

“He’s innocent.” I scoffed again before turning on my heel, brushing past Matt as we left down the familiar hallway. Once we reached a quiet area he stopped me, placing his hands on my shoulders and making me look his way.

“He didn’t do it, Matt. I know he didn’t— He loved Natalie.” I spoke up, searching his eyes for some trace of hope that he believed me. I could’ve been wrong, and I knew that. There was a chance that Jackson really did kill her, but I didn’t see the proof, and I didn’t see him do it.

There’s no chance the killer had been in front of me the entire time.

He only sighed before letting his gaze trace away from mine. He shrugged lightly. “They say there’s a good chance he did.” He spoke quietly. I rolled my eyes at his words. Nobody had his back but me. Absolutely nobody.

“Just try to stay calm, ok? Your parents know what they’re doing. They’re not going to let an innocent teenager go to jail.”

I hesitantly nodded at his words as he placed a soft kiss against my forehead. He was right, he would be in custody until he was truly proven guilty. Not just suspected.

“Besides, there’s no more rumors, no more lies.” He repeated his words from earlier, giving me a reassuring smile as he placed his arm on my arm. The two of us walking back through the doors, the sun hitting our skin instantly.

This time I thought on what he said.

matts pov

The sun set and rose again. The entire night spent with Charlotte’s nearly two hundred new possibilities on who could’ve killed Natalie, if it wasn’t Jackson who did it.

I have to say, I had to give her credit for thinking so much about something she had no control over. But I knew she just wanted justice for her best friend, everyone did.

The past two weeks had been spent with her being a complete mess. Mentally. She’s went through the five stages of grief nearly ten times around, and the denial continues to linger once someone now mentions Jackson’s name.

Endless nights spent with her in my arms, words of reassurance and comfort leaving my lips. I hated seeing her so upset.

Not nearly as upset as she was when Natalie started those rumors about her.

“Alright, you needed help on what section of our studies?” Professor Collin’s asked, shooting me a bright smile as he logged into the computer. The forced yet returned smile covered my face.

My eyes traced to the clock behind him. I had to be quick, class would start in an hour, and we had so much to do before then.

“Just section four.” I replied, sliding him my notes. He nodded, looking through what I wrote.

It’s clear he’s not impressed with the work I’ve placed in front of him by the way his mouth forms a tight lipped smile as he reads through. “It’s a good thing you came for help, I’m worried about you getting behind your classmates.” He advises, continuing to judge everything I’ve laid out for him.

Maybe if he wasn’t flirting with my girlfriend the entire two hour lecture, I would be able to get more work done. Instead I was too worried on making sure he didn’t pull her into the broom closet between her studies.

Natalie was lying about the fact that the two of them were having sex. They never hooked up, and I know that for a fact.

She would never do that to me. Especially not with him.

On the other hand, it was painfully obvious how badly he wanted to. Between his eyes locked on hers, dilated pupils, and folders covering his crouch while he stood in front of the class.

It never felt right knowing he imagined her in all of the positions that I have full access to every night. Hell, I’m sure he gets off reminiscing on their innocent conversations in class.

I wasn’t an idiot, and I hated him for how he thought of her. She was mine, and she certainly wasn’t a piece of eye candy. Especailly not for her own professor.

Someone had to teach him a lesson.

“Do you like fucking your students?” I spoke up again, my gaze dropping from my paper to the man sitting in the desk below me.

His eyes quickly widened as he furrowed his eyebrows, looking at me with disbelief. Like he had no idea what I was saying.

“Excuse me?” He breathed out, shaking his head with a nervous laugh. I rolled my eyes so hard they ached. “Did you not hear me?” I asked as I took a step closer to him.

“I said do you like fucking your students.” I had repeated my previous question, this time louder. Thankfully for him the door was shut, leaving us alone in the dingy classroom.

His expression was panicked, but it was also clear how hardly he tried to remain a straight face. He was a pervert. Just a disgusting piece of shit, and everyone was going to know it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He finally replied as he turned away from me.

I scoffed as I took a step closer to him, reaching into my bag. I was going to finally end this. Right here, right now. Nobody else would say another nasty comment about my girl.

“You must think about it at the very least. Are you only imagining Charlotte when you’re sitting in your desk? Or do you think about her laying in bed next to your wife too?” I tease, drawing out my actions as the fear lingers within him.

“Matt?” Professor Collin’s speaks quietly, his eyes widened as I held the metal knife in my hand. He looked at me with guilt, fear, and confusion. The sight I loved more than anything.

The words I loved to hear before disaster. My own name being called out, like they were genuinely confused. Like they didn’t know they deserved this, that it was coming for them.

That I was coming for them.

“Matt?” Natalie slurred, raising her eyebrow as she looked at me. She was complete wasted, I had been watching her stumble on the way back to her dorm, but she hadn’t even been going the right way.

I stepped closer to him as he pushed his chair back, ultimately hitting the wall behind him. He had no where to go, he was completely trapped. And I had the weapon. We were playing a game of mouse. He was the mouse, I was the cat. He was my prey as of this moment, just like he had been preying on my girlfriend for months.

In a swift action I pulled him by his collar, his head hitting his wooden desk as his hands dropped to his side. Small winces escaping his lips as the knife went through his back.

I watched it with eager.

Again.

And again.

The knife going through his back.

Again.

And again.

The light of moon reflected on the silver knife going through her skin, her warm blood seeping out against my hand, against the pavement below us before she fell over.

There was a sudden moment of strength within her. Maybe adrenaline, maybe just pure will to live. Either way she spoke. “I just” She coughed, blood dripping down her chin as tears welled in her eyes. “I wanted someone to pay attention to me.” She sniffles pathetically as she weeps. “Why does no one notice me?”

Her body fell flat against the floor, her head scraped against his ground. I pulled the knife back, her blood pooling on the pavement around us as I wiped it between my gloves.

“No more rumors, no more lies.” I spoke under my breath, taking a final glance at the girl below me. Taking a final glance at the nonsense she’s caused over the past months.

It didn’t take long before his body became still underneath my touch. He was restless, no trace of life left. Just how I liked it. I pulled the knife back, wiping the blood off between my hands.

I took ahold of his hair, pulling his lifeless face up before running two slits on his bottom lip, dots of blood pooling around them.

“She’s mine.” I hissed through my teeth, picking up a lose piece of chalk from the end of his desk before leaving one final message on the board.

Yesterdays problem.

My heart raced as I pushed myself through the dimly lit hallways. One foot in front of the other the entire way. I could feel the warm blood seeping into my skin.

The blood I drew.

There was a dead man in that classroom. I was the one that killed him. Guilt mixed with power as I approached the nearest place with a sink, the boys locker room.

As soon as I walked into the room, I rushed to the nearest sink and turned on the water. I watched as all of the evidence went down the drain, but if anyone were to walk into that classroom they would see the truth.

“Matt?” A voice spoke from behind me. Panic flooded my body as I quickly turned around, my eyes meeting Bryce’s. He held his water jug in his hand, his jersey loosely hanging off of his body.

Fuck.

My eyes met his as I moved myself closer to the sink, trying to cover the mess in front of me. The water spraying the mixed blood around the white counter, an undeniable sight.

At my reaction he pushed himself closer, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked down at the sink, the water still running as my hands remained soaked.

“Is that blood?” He finally asked.

My first response was to shake my head, tell him he was wrong. Maybe even gaslight him, make him belief he was the one going crazy.

But it was going to be hard to convince someone that something else was going on. Especially someone like Bryce.

On different circumstances, I would’ve been able to take care of this myself. Make sure everything was clean, and hidden before I ran into anyone. He didn’t give me much of a chance.

It’s unfair if you think about it. I’m only doing what other people are too scared to, and now i’m facing unjust consequences.

“I— I fell.” I spoke out, my eyes locked on his while his was glued to the blood running down my hands. That was until he noticed the knife sticking out of my pocket.

“Don’t fucking tell anyone.” I ordered, trying to remain persuasive or powerful to him, but I knew how much panic was laced through my voice.

He was frozen in fear, like he was the one who was supposed to be scared when I could be getting sent to prison for the rest of my life.

Maybe if he didn’t walk in on me it wouldn’t have been his fault. Unfortunately for him, his curiosity simply got the better of him.

“Bryce.” I spoke again, harshly as I placed my stained hands against his shoulders. His eyes widening as he finally looked up at me. “You gonna fucking tell?” I asked.

He didn’t respond. My heart rate only picked up. He was going to tell. Anyone would. I didn’t blame them, but I couldn’t let that happen. Nineteen years old, spending the rest of my life behind bars for simply giving others justice.

I really couldn’t let that happen.

Before another thought ran through my mind, his head was pressed against the mirror. The glass shattering around us, while the rest became stained with his blood.

His water jug dropped from his limp hand, the liquid leaking around the floor before he dropped down as well, landing against his back with a thump.

I took a deep breath, blood now coating the mirror, sink, and floor.

“It was too risky.” I mumbled to him, well, really only myself as I pulled the knife from my pocket again, three slits placed on his bottom lip, only drawing more blood from his face.

Kill count, three.

I'm not a bad person.

At least I don't think I am.

My intentions aren't flawed. I have someone who understands me and sometimes the world treats her unfairly, is it wrong to want to help?

I never meant for it to get this far, but since Natalie it's like an urge. Like if someone looks at Charlotte the wrong way I have an animalistic urge to end it, to end them.

It’s not like I wanted to hurt Natalie, at least not at first, but she was the one who hurt Charlotte. She had been hurting her for months, and I wasn’t going to let it happen any longer.

I’d known Natalie since middle school. I knew almost everything about her. It’s not like I had been fantasizing about killing her for years.

It just happened.

Though, the professor had it coming. Nobody can deny that he deserved what I did to him. Making those nasty, perverted remarks at Charlotte.

What kind of man would I be to allow that?

Bryce was a mistake. He didn’t do anything wrong. I was actually quite fond of him. I had been since he started dating Nick a few months ago. He was one of the better people on this sick earth.

Wrong person, wrong place.

I don't think it's psychotic what I'm doing. When you hear about killers you assume one of two things.

Either they have a bad home life, like Richard Ramirez who was abused as a child. Except I wasn't abused, sure I had my own mundane problems, but nothing in comparison and nothing that caused shit to hit the fan.

Or they are just clinically insane. Like Albert Fish.

I'm not insane, I don't hear voices or see things. I just want to protect the one person who gives me the time of day.

Maybe by protecting her I'm also protecting myself, but I don't think it's selfish. Charlotte is amazing in ways I struggle to understand. She's thoughtful and charismatic, she listens but she also always knows how to make me laugh.

Charlotte’s a good person.

And I'd like to think that by protecting her l'm a good person too.

“Matt, what is that?” Charlottes voice spoke up from beside me. My body against hers as my papers were sprawled out in front of me. My eyebrows furrowed at her question.

“What do you mean?”

Fear covered her face as her eyes traced down. They stopped just above my arm, focusing directly on my wrist.

I quickly looked down, my eyes widening as well as I noticed my silver bracelet stained with red liquid. I sucked in a sharp breath, pursing my lips before pulling my sleeve down.

She wasn’t supposed to see that.

Her face remained in a panic liked state as her eyes met mine. Her expression sinking into confusion as she took hold of my wrist, pulling against my sleeve.

“Is that blood— are you bleeding?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowed as she scanned the stained the material. I wanted to nod, maybe even put on a bandaid and keep her from asking anymore questions, but she wasn’t stupid.

Charlotte was many things, but she wasn’t stupid. She could point out a lie from a mile away, a small difference in someone’s tone. It was impressive that she hadn’t caught me yet.

I took my arm back, pulling my sleeve down one more. “It’s nothing.” I spoke cautiously. I didn’t want to necessarily lie, but I couldn’t exactly spit out the truth. Not yet at least.

My intentions were good, at least for her, but that doesn’t mean she’d forgive me for what I did.

“Matt that was blood.” She replied, barely audible but I heard her as tears started to brim her eyes. Her perfect fucking eyes. I hated when she cried. Seeing her upset made me upset. If she wasn’t happy than neither was I.

“It wasn’t.” I mumbled in response. She scoffed, shaking her head as she pushed herself off of my bed. I sighed, following her as I reached my arm out for hers. She quickly pulled back, wrapping her arms around her body.

I sighed as I took a step closer to her, letting my hands drop to my sides. Giving her a respectful amount of space.

She looked lost in thought, her eyes remaining on my covered wrist. The blood was dried, it was from hours ago.

There were police swarming our campus. Both bodies found in the span of five minutes. Collins first, Bryce second. Everyone was sent back to their rooms, doors locked as they suspected an active killer.

Although, nothing was released to the public yet. Nobody knew who was killed, except the first kids that walked in for their morning class.

“Can I see?” She spoke again, a soft breath from her lips as she looked up at me. I hesitated before pulling my sleeve again, the silver bracelet in her vision as the lines of dried blood coated the material.

“Please tell me that’s your blood.”

“Matt.”

“Charlotte.” I finally replied through a sigh. I didn’t want to lie to her. I just didn’t want her to know the extended truth. It wasn’t my blood, honestly I wasn’t sure whose it was. “It’s not mine.” I spoke again. She furrowed her eyebrows.

“Then whose is it?” She asked, letting go of my arm as she looked up at me. I hesitated. This could ruin everything. “Matt— if it’s not your blood, then why is someone else’s on you during a fucking campus lockdown, it makes you seem like you—” She cut herself off as her eyes widened.

“No.” She spoke again, her eyes finding mine again, practically begging for an answer. “You didn’t— you wouldn’t.” She laughed in denial, shaking her head. Once she noticed the lack of my reaction, her expression dropped again.

Silence.

“Charlotte.” I spoke after a few seconds, taking another step toward her. “Listen to me, alright? Just for a minute.” She shook her head again, her body language was so unfamiliar.

Distant, confused, and hurt but all directed at me.

“No, you’re supposed to listen to me. Just answer the goddamn question, why the fuck is your bracelet covered in someone’s blood?”

I pursed my lips as my heartbeat picked up in my chest. If I waited long enough maybe she’d forget. Or maybe she’d just figure out what really happen. That I killed her best friend. I killed her professor, and I killed my brothers boyfriend. But

But everything I did was for her.

She needed to understand that.

“Answer me, Matt!”

“Charlotte.” I snapped, placing my hands on her shoulders, a soft gasp leaving her lips. “Listen to me first.” I breathed out. “I did what I had to do. For us, for you—”

Her expression dropped once more, her face practically white at a those as she pushed my hands off of her. “You killed them?” She mumbled, taking a step back.

“Is that what you’re saying?” She asked. “Thats not your blood, because— whatever happened on campus today, it was you, wasn’t it?” She was speaking so fast, I wouldn’t doubt that she would pass out if she kept going.

I didn’t respond.

“Did you hurt someone- did you— did you- you killed someone, Matt?” She breathed out, her arms pressed tightly against her self. “We’ve been dealing with Natalie’s death, and you go and ruin someone else’s life?”

I looked at my feet, silence overtaking us for a few moments. My heart was racing, my breath short, she knew, and she wasn’t happy. Although, my silence wasn’t the answer, because it gave her more than she needed.

“You killed her.” She finally spoke.

My eyes met hers, as I pursed my lips again. I couldn’t respond, I couldn’t. She looked so hurt, so betrayed, when all I wanted to do was help her.

“You don’t care— you never cared about Natalie! All those stupid words you told me, that you missed her— you’re a liar!” She practically screamed at me, her eyes watering.

“I did it for you!” I replied, matching her tone as I took her wrists in my hand. She quickly shook her head, a look of disbelief on her face as she stepped back, bumping into the doorway.

My heart broke at the way she looked at me. Like she was scared of me, and I couldn’t blame her, but I hated it. I wanted her to look at me how she always did.

With love.

“Charlotte, please.” I begged, looking down at her with pleading eyes. She shook her head with a soft scoff, opening the door before slamming it in the matter of seconds. I wanted to run after her, bring her back into my room and tell her all night that everything was fine. That we were fine, but she had already made that decision.

I wasn’t sure how I expected her to react, but I never expected her to even find out. It was supposed to be a secret, but then again trying to keep a secret from someone like her is nearly impossible.

She could be going to run to her parents for all I knew. Going to hide from me, and tell someone what I did. I might be going to jail after all.

And I might lose her after all.

charlottes pov

The last place I needed to be right now was yet another college party. But despite my sour mood, I had friends expecting me and I wasn’t going to let them down.

I spent the past hours stuck in my room, my phone in my hand as I contemplated calling the police, telling them what Matt did, but as much as I wanted to I couldn’t.

It felt like my mind was on overdrive. Maybe he didn’t it, but it was obvious. He never exactly confirmed that he touched Natalie, but the aching pit in my stomach told me.

How could I have been so blind?

So blind to see that it was him all along. Every tear he wiped, word he said, all of it was a lie. He cried at the funeral, hugged her parents, and all along he was the one who shoved the knife through—

I took a deep breath.

Matt was back at his dorm, it didn’t matter. I mean it did, but it couldn’t. I love Matt more than anything, and I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to him. Even if he deserved it.

So for the sake of not completely falling apart again, I was going to pretend today never happened, and that everything was ok.

I hadn’t been to an outing like this since Natalie’s death, and it felt very real, very fast as I walk up to the front lawn. Red solo cups sprawled unevenly throughout the yard, with people already throwing up in the trimmed bushes.

The campus was still closed off, so with the help of a few friends, someone decided to throw a party just off campus and nearly everyone was there.

I walked in reluctantly, imperially being sucked in by loud rap music. The bass practically beating through my body as I looked around the thick crowds of people.

The sudden grasp on my waist caused me to turn around at lighting speed, panic rushing straight to my heart as I make sense of the face.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Nick laughed slightly, pulling me by the hand to a more quiet area in the living space. “I’m happy you’re here! I’ve missed you.”

I smiled. If anyones going to make my presence feel special it’s Nick. “It just feels weird being here now since… yeah.”

A frustrated breath left my lips after my words. Of course I immediately made the mood sad, it’s all I’ve been doing for the past two weeks.

“Hey, she’d be happy you’re here right now. If anyone’s going to take over her role as the obsessive party-goer it’s you.” Nick joked, taking a moment to look around at all the familiar faces.

“Have you seen Bryce anywhere?” He asked. I furrowed my eyebrows. “He hasn’t been texting me back, but his parents could’ve taken his phone away again so.”

I thought about every recent interaction I’ve had with Bryce, but I hadn’t spoken to him since he had helped me with a history assignment a few days ago. “I haven’t heard from him, I’m sure he’s fine though his parents are dicks.”

Nick just nodded slowly in response, it’s clear he was a bit worried, and I couldn’t really blame him. After Natalie’s death and Jackson going to jail for it everyone at this college is on edge.

My heart dropped at the thought.

Jackson.

He was still in jail, and he was innocent.

“Let’s get ourselves a drink yeah?” I asked as I placed my hand on his shoulder, guiding i’m to the kitchen. I just needed to forget, more than anything.

Forget about Natalie.

Forget about Jackson.

Forget about Matt.

It didn’t take long until we’re surrounded by wood cupboards, and large bottles of cheap liquor. I poured us both a cup of vodka mixed with cranberry juice before Chris called Nick to assist him with whatever drinking game he’d started.

I couldn’t really be bothered to take part, so I used this as my opportunity to explore the house.

Weirdly enough walking around all these random drunk students felt almost like an out of body experience. Like I was a spectator simply people watching as I sipped on my poorly rationed drink.

After a small amount of walking I find myself in some sort of man cave. Deer heads are mounted on the wall alongside numerous patriotic posters.

Definitely tacky.

For whatever reason the alcohol hit me like a brick, I was just unsure if it’s because of the sheer amount of vodka poured in or the combination of the antidepressants I was just started on.

Either way my head immediately begins to feel heavy and I opt to sit on the carpeted flooring, leaning my back against the wall.

I put the empty red cup down, I didn’t even realize I had finished it until it tipped over on the floor, and not a single drop of liquid poured out.

“What are you doing in here by yourself?” The vaguely familiar voice she spoke, entering the room before closing the door behind himself.

I squinted my eyes to get a better look at the figure that approaches me.

“Chris is that you?” I asked, my head still weighed down in between my bent knees. He just laughed from a distance as I was still unable to figure out who it is.

That was until he sat next to me, his face now illuminated by the ceiling lights. “Josh.” I gawked, rolling my eyes.

“Atta girl.” He smiled, handing me a cup of God knows what. “I got you a drink, figured you’d need to loosen up after the whole… situation.”

I nodded slowly, taking the cup from him and bringing the rim to my lips before wiping my mouth and replying. “Yeah it’s weird being here. Hard to be happy when I know she’d rather be here than me.” I confessed, the alcohol in my system acting like a truth serum.

Clearly making me oblivious as well.

“Not even happy that gay kids dead?” Josh spoke as he looked down at me, raising his eyebrow while mine furrowed.

I’m wasn’t entirely sure what takes over me but my breathing increased rapidly, vision altered and suddenly my hands feel numb. “What the fuck are you talking about J-Josh?”

Speaking was harder too, the words in my head are struggling to leave my mouth.

“It doesn’t matter pretty girl, he got what he deserved.” He replied, pushing himself closer to me and pushing a strand of hair from my ear. I furrowed my eyebrows. “What— no— he didn’t.” I shook my head, squinting my eyes as I looked at Josh. Everything becoming blurred.

He let out a soft sigh. “Just relax, please?” He asked. I shook my head, trying to push myself to my feet, but he pulled me back onto the ground. I landed against my knees. His hands coming in contact with my hips.

“Charlotte.” He groaned at my action, holding my hips tighter. I shook my head again once his hands came in contact with the waistband of my shorts. There was something in the drink, and he put it there.

Fuck.

My breathing picked up as his hands came closer to me again. I was going to pass out soon enough, and he was stronger than me. There won’t be anything I could do. My vision turned into a gun rack just in front of me, the door halfway open.

I pushed myself toward the door, his hands not leaving my sides as he tugged at the fabric again, clearly eager.

“Where are you going—”

He began to speak, but was ultimately cut off by the sound of a gunshot firing through the air. My eyes widened as I watched him fall back, hitting the table before falling flat against the floor.

The gun in my hand.

I covered my mouth with my hands, quickly dropping the gun to the floor before looking down at him again, blood pooling quickly around him.

In a second without thought I ripped my jacket from my body, pressing it against the ground in hopes to clean it to the best of my ability.

“Charlotte?” Matt’s voice rang. I quickly turned my head around, my eyes meeting his as I stood from my bruised knees, momentarily pausing my movements of cleaning up the mess in front of me. The same mess I created.

“Matt, there’s blood—” I breathed out, my hands shaking by my side as his body laid under my feet. His lifeless body. That I caused. His blood spread around the carpet, soaking into the material as it approached my shoes.

I took a step back, stumbling slightly at my own action. My hands came in contact with the table behind me, keeping me steady and upright.

It was hard to think about how upset with him I was. Considering the fact that now I had done the same thing; take another life.

“There is.” He nodded, looking down at the floor before looking back toward me. “It’s ok.” Matt assured, stepping closer to me before placing his hands on my shoulders.

My gaze went to his, panicked breaths leaving my lips as my hands continued to shake. I couldn’t tell if it was the fear, or the poisoned drink running through my veins.

Either way I was screwed.

“I killed him.” I spoke again, my breath shaken as I closed my eyes in my own defeat. The sound of my own heartbeat filling my ears.

Matt rubbed my arms gently before he shook his head. “No you didn’t.” He replied, scanning my face. I furrowed my eyebrows, fighting the urge to give in to the weakness overcoming my body.

“I did.” He spoke again. I shook my head, moving my hands onto his hips, keeping myself upright. I didn’t understand what he was saying, what he was trying to do. “Matt, I shot Josh, because he tried to—”

Because his eyebrows as I cut myself off, closing my eyes as I fell against his chest. His arms instantly coming around my waist.

“Hey, woah.” He breathed out, rubbing my back to try and keep me apart. “What did he try to do?” He asked. I didn’t respond, my mouth not opening.

He let out a heavy sigh, quickly moving me so I was leaning against the wall in front of him. My hands falling to my side. He placed his against my jaw, moving me so I was looking at him.

“Listen. You don’t go anywhere. Stay here, let me get something to clean this. Just stay here, please.” He spoke.

I nodded slowly, closing my eyes again as I pulled my knees to my chest, suddenly oblivious to the blood pooling around me.

“I love you.” I breathed out as I realized how fast my heart was racing. Whatever was in that drink was strong, and it was hitting me fast.

He furrowed his eyebrows before shaking his head. “I- I love you too, but you’re going to be fine. Just stay here.” He spoke, before pushing himself from the ground and leaving the room.

My eyes opened again to trace his body. I watched him walk out the room, my eyes remaining on his blue sweater, silver jewelry, and the shoes that I loved.

The sight of him eased my mind from the fear coursing through my veins. That was until he left my sight, now an empty hallway filling my vision. My eyes turned from the door to the floor in front of me, the rifle on the floor.

“Fuck.” I mumbled, pushing myself forward and grabbing the gun. I slowly pulled myself to my feet, the gun in my hand as I looked down at Josh. The boy I had killed.

I went to put the gun back into the case, but before I could my body froze. A sudden ringing in my ears as I involuntary stumbled backward. Fast breaths leaving my lips before all of the sound in the world came back.

“Take the gun.” An unfamiliar voice spoke harshly, the gun being taken out of my hands while a pain radiated through my stomach. My hands were placed over the area, before my eyes widened.

Blood.

My blood.

I swear I could feel my heart drop down to my feet, my chest heating up as I looked down again. My eyes were met with my stomach, more blood seeping through my shirt.

When my eyes drifted up again they were met with three officers, one of them holding their gun directly at me. A faint line of smoke leaving the end.

He shot me.

Before I could think again I was back into the floor, my head coming in contact with the ground sharply. My body felt like it was on fire, my vision ten times worse than it had been.

If I wasn’t dying before, I certainly was now.

My stomach was burning, and I knew there was nothing I could do. It was like I was looking through the world with a kaleidoscope. Just like when I was a kid. The colors and shapes collided into an array of one.

For some reason, once the pain in my body subsided, all I could feel was peace.

I was simply numb. Physically and mentally numb. Nothing could hurt me, no one could hurt me. I was safe, I was happy. As much as I could be for nothing my fate.

The last thing I saw was the familiar blue sweater making its appearance at the doorway, the same sweater that I refused to take off for months. The sweater that smelt like Matt’s cologne. The boy I loved more than anything.

The boy that I’d die for.

“Matt—” I breathed out, barely forming the world before finally, my mind had been cut off for one last time.

Finally, the world had went black.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

a/n: sincerely, sienna and grace

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