#who knows. not me

[blue-rose-soul]

What else is going on in Kid Alastor au? I'm craving the little chaos deer

The hotel was uncharacteristically quiet, given that the princess and her spear-wielding love were not around to reign in the rather boisterous collection of characters they'd gathered under their roof. When Charlie had solidified her plan to meet with Heaven's leadership, Alastor had fully expected to find the parlor in flames and everyone passed out drunk or temporarily dead at the bar. Instead what he found was a note left on the coffee table penned in glittery pink elegant script that read:

|

'Hey short stack. An old buddy of mine swung by and Charlie paid for everyone to have a night on the town. The place we're headed to ain't really for kids (yeah I know you're fucking old but I don't think the bouncers give a shit) plus Husk says it ain't your scene anyway. We left some cash so you can do whatever. I don't know what you do. <3 A.D.'

|

Well. How thoughtful of them.

In a burst of green flame, the letter dissolved into ash, and then even the ashes dissipated into a fine mist. The short stack of bills he left untouched on the table. As though he couldn't provide for himself, hah!

There was nothing these loathsome souls had that he needed.

Still... There were few things as dreadfully dull as a large, empty building. Perhaps he could pay a visit to Rosie in Cannibal Town. Though it was a tad late to show up unannounced. No, there was no need to go out. There were plenty of other ways one could occupy oneself in a large, empty building…

-

The pig grunted in contentment as it lapped up yet another treat. Alastor dropped another treat, lead the pig another few feet, then another few, then another.

The moment Fat Nuggets was fully inside the unused room Alastor tipped the bag and sent chocolate and peanut butter cereal pieces scattering all across the floor. With a delighted squeal, Fat Nuggets scrambled all across the room, snapping up cereal bits as fast as his little piggy feet would allow. Newspapers in one corner of the room, water and food bowl in the other, a bunch of cushions piled on the carpet. Plenty to keep the pig content – and most importantly, quiet – for a good long while.

Alastor shut the door quietly, leaving Fat Nuggets to his feast.

-

It was a small thing, but knowing how high-strung dear Vaggie was, it would be plenty enough to whip her into a storming frenzy.

Shadow men were busy rearranging the furniture. Nothing drastic, simply shifting each piece of furniture a biiiit to the left. The bed four inches, the dresser two, the vase three. Tilting every single painting, unscrewing a few choice light bulbs just enough to flicker. Nothing was glaringly out of place at a first glance, but over time…

Alastor chuckled, pleased with himself.

He was snapped from his daydreams of a frothing, red-faced sinner by a low growl. Alastor turned to find Razzle and Dazzle glaring up at him, the red baphomet flicking its tongue in displeasure while the pink one merely hissed. He raised his finger to his lips, offering the cuddly little monsters a close-mouthed smile.

“Let this pass,” he said, “and I’ll make you beignets.”

Instantly those reptilian eyes went lipid, tails wagging and growls replaced with happy chirps. A thought crossed Alastor’s mind. His lips peeled back to bare his teeth in a wicked grin.

“In fact, lend me your hooves, and I’ll make you all the beignets you can eat!”

-

Repeating the same little stunt he’d pulled with Fat Nugget on the Egg Boiz felt rather lazy. But using those little monsters was most certainly the correct method of targeting Pentious. As he entered the airship docked against the hotel building, Alastor found them all arranged in a circle on their fronts, scrawling all over pieces of construction paper with crayons and glitter glue.

“Hey, Little Boss!” the singular egg creature with a name chirped as it noticed him. “We’re making new evil plans for the Big Boss while he’s taking a break from being evil!”

“Hmm,” Alastor hummed thoughtfully. “Tell me, would you little monsters like to help me with a surprise for your boss?”

“A surprise?” Frank echoed.

The sweet smile on Alastor’s lips was at odd with the devious glint in his eye.

“Why yes! Our dear princess thought we might throw him a party in celebration of the great strides he’s made towards self betterment!” Hah. “And of course, who better to surprise that slippery serpent than his most beloved minions?”

The little egg creatures began chattering amongst themselves before they, in near unison, hopped to their feet and saluted.

“Surprise Party Division reporting for duty, Little Boss!”

“And of course, you’ll need supplies!”

With the snap of his fingers, five bursts of green light materialized five prop guns into the Egg Boiz’ hands. The Egg Boiz immediately started ooh-ing and ah-ing over the toys, one saying something about ray guns and another turning his prop over in his hand to peer straight down the barrel. That one jolted as he accidentally squeezed the trigger, letting off a burst of light and noise right in front of his face.

“Now remember!” Alastor said. “It’s a surprise. So you must hide, and when Sir Pentious arrives, jump out and fire off those party poppers!”

A little egg hand shot in the air.

“Why do the party poppers look like guns?”

“I thought it matched the aesthetic,” Alastor replied, gesturing about the metal airship and the various dismantled weapons scattered around. This seemed to satisfy the Egg Boiz. “Now off you go. Hide, and when Sir Pentious comes, jump out and fire off those party poppers! I’m sure he will be quite amused!”

With a final salute, the Egg Boiz took their new toys and scattered, disappearing into vents, canisters, crates and wherever else. An impish grin on his face, Alastor faded into the shadows.

-

The clinking of glass greeted Alastor as he reappeared in the common area. He found Razzle and Dazzle at the bar, right where he’d left them, rifling through the colorful bottles on the shelves. Dazzle placed a bottle up on the shelf, inching it around so that the label was facing outward before turning to Alastor.

“Last one?” he asked.

Razzle and Dazzle nodded.

“And the original bottles?”

The pink one lifted up a bulging garbage bag from behind the counter, the contents rattling together with each subtle movement. Alastor nodded in approval.

“Ought to put that somewhere dear Husker won’t come across it,” he said. “And I suppose I ought to get started on those beignets while you do.”

The plush demons bleated in joy. Before they could fly off with their stash of expensive alcohol, Alastor called out to them.

“Wait. Leave out a bottle of rye. Just set it on the coffee table, next to the radio.”

Alastor didn’t wait to see if they listened. With the snap of his fingers the radio blared to life, playing a lively jazz tune whilst he made his way to the kitchen to prepare a doughy, sugary feast for the adorable little beasts.

His shadows rose and solidified, pulling open cupboards and setting out the utensils and ingredients. One placed a stool in front of the sink so he could step up and wash his hands, another retrieved his apron and slipped it over his head while a third tied the apron for him.

Alastor was stirring the brown sugar into the mixture of milk and butter when the goats reappeared, hovering right over his shoulder. Alastor waved them off, then reached for the cinnamon.

“No hovering, if you please.” They backed up, but he could still hear their wings flapping, just behind him. Alastor sighed. “Well, I don’t really need help with this part, but you can help clean the kitchen while the dough is rising.”

A questioning bleat.

“Yes, it will take about an hour for the dough to rise before it’s ready to fry.”

Distressed, impatient bleats.

“Well too bad, that’s how long it takes. If you wanted cheap, mass produced styrofoam coated in icing, go beg the king for some lousy carnival crap. I’m making real food.”

More bleats.

“Then you have to wait. Shoo. I’ll call you in when I need you.”

With a final huffy bleat, Razzle and Dazzle flew across the counter, though their reptilian eyes remained locked on Alastor as he poured the mixture into the flour.

[rikushka]

I tried to draw THAT Mizu from memory but then gave up

[contagious-watermelon]

so, fellow aspec people, what are y'all's relationship to gay as an umbrella term? I've seen a lot of aroace people call themselves gay despite *technically* not being, and personally I've always been confused by that

(and also— I'd imagine that aroallo or alloace people who are gay for their other orientation would automatically include themselves with that term, but what about the arohets and acehets? how do y'all feel about the use of gay as an umbrella term?)

I'm just curious about other people's experiences bc i as an aromantic person feel rather uncomfortable being grouped in as gay because I've never been attracted to another man before, but anecdotally i seem to be in the minority

[lord-squiggletits]

I've been really focused on researching bipolar disorder for fic writing purposes lately.

Thing is, the last time I had this much focus, interest/fascination, and emotional connection to a mental condition that I was only researching "for story purposes," it was autism. Then years later I ended up identifying as autistic based on input from friends and getting a formal diagnosis of ADHD (closely related to/comorbid with autism)

So... lowkey starting to wonder if this fascination with researching bipolar is gonna turn out the same way considering what happened last time shdhskdjshd

[greenbetula]

i think combining character designs is a very fun thing to try. i might do them with milgram characters who knows?

[valleydean]

i have absolutely no memory of saving this url. but i'm right.

[strangedisciple]

too sleepy 4 this goodnight :]

[conspiracyofequals]

she stares at me like this 👁️👁️ but never smiles back. i think she either 1. wants me 2. thinks i'm a creep and wants to blow me up with her mind

[chamaleonsoul]

from time to time my brain reminds me of Will Herondale and it feels like a tank on fire just ran over my heart with spikey wheels and the air gets knocked out of my lungs and tears fill my eyes and i can't help but cry in pain, and then i just keep drinking my coffe or wtv i was doing before that

[hogiau]

.

[stardust-wanderlust]

...

I just discovered this in my drafts. It's apparently been there for a year? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't remember the purpose of this anymore.

My guess would be that it was in response to some dumbass conversation happening somewhere about how all Asians look the same.

But here, have some pictures of incredibly good looking Asians from all walks of the continent.

[lenreli]

Managed to get a few hours more sleep. Do love having some sleep. 

Finally vacuumed the house. It was really needing it.... plus we’re dealing with so many insects rn like. 

[tsubasaclones]

or maybe its the glitter on abbey that’s yellowed, the places where the glitter has worn off seem to be unaffected

[desperatepleasures]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[starridge]

also deciding to make stuff that 12 year old me would have wanted to draw