#idk. sexuality and labels and stuff are confusing

[contagious-watermelon]

so, fellow aspec people, what are y'all's relationship to gay as an umbrella term? I've seen a lot of aroace people call themselves gay despite *technically* not being, and personally I've always been confused by that

(and also— I'd imagine that aroallo or alloace people who are gay for their other orientation would automatically include themselves with that term, but what about the arohets and acehets? how do y'all feel about the use of gay as an umbrella term?)

I'm just curious about other people's experiences bc i as an aromantic person feel rather uncomfortable being grouped in as gay because I've never been attracted to another man before, but anecdotally i seem to be in the minority

[piplupod]

[whispering nervously] hey i feel like this is the equivalent of throwing a beehive at a bear, but i genuinely do not understand what is going on with the latest queer label discourse,,, why is calling urself a mspec gay/bi lesbian/etc such an issue ?

[purpurussy]

I feel like the "dan is bi" anon is trolling but just in case they're genuinely confused: yes dan said in BIG that he loved and felt attracted to his high school gf (although he also made it pretty clear that they did not have sex so idk where anon is getting the idea that he has slept with "multiple women" 💀), and he alluded to his attraction not being confined to a specific gender in the part where he talked about labels, but you're completely taking all of that wildly out of context and missing the point of the whole video by calling him bi. I feel like this is probably the part that's frying their brain:

(shoutout to the legend @goldenpinof for this transcript!)

But firstly, imo it was very clear from BIG, as well as other stuff he's said over the years, that he just doesn't like labels. Which I find very valid, it took me a long time to figure out how to label myself. I still don't know what my gender is lmao but I started saying "bi" for my sexuality because it's a widely-used term that gets the point across. And I think that's the thing here: he came to the conclusion that the labels "gay" and "queer" are the best descriptors of his identity, which do the most accurate job of approximating something extremely psychologically complex and multilayered and nuanced in a simple everyday term that gets the point across to other people.

Obviously words mean things and it doesn't make sense to just pick a label at random (like for example it wouldn't make sense for me to identify as a lesbian, since I definitely feel attraction to men as well as women and everything outside the binary, and am interested in acting on that attraction at times, so I wouldn't be conveying accurate information to other people if I used the label lesbian for myself) but a label is just supposed to serve the task of conveying relevant information to other people (if a lesbian feels some kind of abstract attraction to dan and phil, that doesn't mean that the alphabet council needs to immediately revoke their lesbian card!! Since the word "lesbian" still does a perfectly good job of conveying relevant information to other people. Likewise if a straight dude has a fun little gay dalliance with his college roommate, but has absolutely 0 interest in men beyond that incident, it wouldn't be remotely necessary for him to start calling himself bi if he didn't want to, because what would be the point in that if he's only interested in women? Like if he told a gay dude who found him attractive that he's bi, only to backtrack... Do you see what I'm saying here?). It's perfectly valid for Dan to use "gay" and "queer" as umbrella terms that in his opinion do the best job of describing him, out of the language that's available. If he's like essentially a kinsey >5 and decided to just round it off to a 6 at this point, who are you to tell him he can't lmao

(shoutout to the legend @goldenpinof for this transcript!

Human sexuality is often way too complicated to boil it down to a single label in a way that doesn't erase any of its nuance, and I feel like this is something he's struggled with in the past, especially with him being a public figure. He's mentioned multiple times that feeling like he had to choose a label was a factor that prolonged his decision to come out.

And this is not even getting into the impact that his trauma from his childhood and also from spending a chunk of his formative years in the public eye probably had on the way he identifies or the way he chooses to label himself. It clearly took so much courage and strength for him to finally be able to call himself gay/queer please have some respect for our brave troops

Ultimately the point is that he uses the labels "gay" and "queer", not "bi", and it really shouldn't be difficult to respect that. It's also not biphobic for him to choose not use the label "bi" (again speaking as someone who uses that label). It's just that he feels "gay"/"queer" are better descriptors for him and nobody gets to determine that except him!! :) He wants people to know he's gay so he calls himself gay and that's that on that.

There are definitely people on here who are way smarter and more well-educated than me who would've done a much better job eloquently discussing this topic without rambling all over the place but that's my take (if anyone would like to add to this please do so, I'm always open to learn more about topics like this. And I'm also not saying that the way I see it is the only objectively correct opinion, but anon is definitely wrong so 💀). Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[randompolykin]

Intro Post

Welcome To The Storm.

i have been procrastinating making one of these for a while now so here you go.

I don't know how people can post their names on here, or their ages. Like what :0 I could not do that. (So if you need to refer to me, you can do so by my username) I do feel comfortable telling you this stuff:

The labels I use to identify my gender identity are genderfluid, nonbinary, transgender, genderflux, xenogender, fluidflux, and specifically genderspirit. At least that's the basics.

When it comes to sexuality/romantic attraction I consider myself frayromantic and neptunic, I am also aceflux.

I might reblog centaurworld, smg4, the amazing digital circus, wings of fire, or good omens related posts once in a blue moon.

i am a polymorph

Kintypes:

Catkin (black domestic and black panther, for type of panther Jaguar fits the best but a black panther on its own fits too)

Dragonkin (red western fire and eastern sky/water especially a tatsu)

Gray/part of a storm cloud, cloud

Military tank

Attack helicopter (I know, I know, but I'm serious /gen)

Wooden chair

Slinky

Cryptid (in general but I do have a couple specific ones too and I bet the more I look into cryptids the list will grow)

Cabincore

OCkin

Seraphkin (the type of angel)

Demonkin

bookstore and library kin

Old computer kin

Robotkin in general

A murder drone (from murder drones) not a specific one, just a murder drone

Vampirekin

The concept of tea/tea as a whole

Glamrock Freddy Fazbear

a sprollie dog

a silver fox

Although there are certain theories on why I am certain kintypes that I prefer and even act like it's set in stone, in the end idk whatever so just keep that in mind. also this isnt. theres more kintypes probably.

and maaaaannnny kinsiderings

Circutypes

(circutypes are identitie(s?) similar to the label cladotherian or more so ambitherian, but instead of being exclusive to types of animals is a species, it extends beyond that. The creator @batsbolts-andfangs created it to describe being a bat therian, bat plushiekin and a bat (related?) fictional character. But basically it's a label to describe one nonhuman identity that extends to/ is made up of other nonhuman identities that are a interconnected. This label fits me two times

The first on is less sure/put together than the second one

Mimic

Shadow being (maybe just shadows too idk)

This statue creature that's an original species might count idk yet

Questioning being a void but that might just be part of my fictotype.

A run-along

And now my second circutype that makes more sense!

Deer skull creature is what I consider the base name for it now what this includes is

A deer skull fictional character/monster the nowhere king (which is my profile pic!) which is from centaurworld

Two (OCs? Maybe just original species? I am still figuring out how these two identities work) that are deferent types of deer skulled original creatures

A leshen (and an ancient leshy) from the witcher (I have not interacted with the fandom or played the games, watched the show etc I just stumbled upon it looking for what this kintype was and it fit)

And questioning being a deer skull itself. If not then this is probably a para type or something?

I don't actually think I said all my kintypes but I dont care that much right now I need to get this post over with it's already two am

So here are my heart types:

Crow

Tortoise

Sloth

Ghost

Zombie

Clown

Fall

Halloween

Endermen

Rainwing (it's a type of dragon from wings of fire)

Nightwing (also wof dragon)

Questioning these being kintypes

Edit, I currently consider my wof types to be both kintypes and kithtypes, its confusing and I have no energy to look deep into things but I don't feel I need to honestly.

And am just saying that being a zombie and a ghost is kith, because I don't want to deal with things. Every thing else I know is def a heart type except clown, I ignore that one

Edit, I am now counting zombie as a kin type

I am also questioning being the amazing digital circus and my neighbor totoro (as in conceptkin)

Now onto other things you should know about me and some silly not as important but also interesting ones:

I am afraid of being wrong (mainly because I'm worried I am somehow hurting people by it)

I have trust/opening up issues

I struggle with imposter syndrome

I probably have undiagnosed anxiety of some kind but have yet to do research on it

I probably have long term depression. But I think ranting to Tumblr is helping a bit so RN I'm more on the emotionally numb side but still depressed I think.

I have associative synesthesia and the types I care to name are olp, grapheme-color and chromesthesia but I know of more things that are probably types with their own names that I have.

I'm a vegetarian (it's funny because a bunch of my kintypes are carnivores or really like eating meat)

I'm a furry and have this going on where I'm turning my animal kin and heartypes into furry OCs and fursonas but I haven't gotten far in it. I'm also questioning being my protogen oc

I'm a median system. But I don't really talk about that much here...

Uh I might post random art doodles idk tho.

Besides that mostly I'll post and reblog alterhuman stuff (mainly otherkin probably)

Also please ask me stuff!!! Curious on how I experience being an aesthetic? Want to learn more about my angel kintype? Etc, please ask!

Profile pic is my kintype, the nowhere king, with the genderfluid, frayromantic, and loveless aro flags. And my banner is light doodles of some of my kintypes

When it comes to a tagging system I am trying to make one but most of my posts from before this one probably don't follow it anyway here it is (altho I might forget to tag a reblog as reblog sorry if I do)

Also all posts with swearing in them will be tagged with #tw swearing

I don't usually swear myself but I will reblog stuff that has swears in them

#reblog (these are simply reblogs. Can be of anything. These will not have me adding my thoughts in tags or replies)

#my reply (reblogs with my reply/my thoughts on it/ad ons, also might be tagged with #my ad ones (if it's adding on to what the poster is saying specific vs a reply of anykind))

#my reply tags(or my tag replies) (same thing but in the tags specifically. Add on version is #my tag ad ons)

#not ah related (not alterhuman related, includes reblogs)

#not ok related (not otherkin related, alterhuman related posts that are not otherkin related are included here)

#i am a mess of kinsidering (a ranty vent post about my lastest kintype to question or re-question or be confused over want to classify an identity as beyond otherkin, etc)

#silly post time (silly posts, not reblogs. This would be me making a post that says "nom nom nom garbage" and # it with therian and otherkin tags. Can be ah, ok, and not related.) (if not ah or ok related I will put those tags in)

#silly reblogs (me rebloging these types of posts)

#serious post (speaking up about an issue or trying to spread the word about something important etc)

#serious reblog (same as ⬆️ but a reblog)

#positivity spreading reblog (rebloging a positivity spreading post. can include #my ad ones posts)

#positivity spreading post (a positivity spreading post originally made by me)

#term coining yay (coined terms not by me but that I have rebloged)

#oh me terms yas (term coining posts by others that have a term I want to use/represent me)

#save (posts I want saved for any reason.)

#saving this to show my friend in case their ah (I'm pretty sure one of my friends I alterhuman but I'm not sure so I'll show them certain posts and see if they relate)

#storm talk (talking about being (apart of) a storm

#little grey cloud rambles (rambles as a little grey cloud)

#more about me

That's all I can think of for now and it's already three am so I'm gonna add my user boxes and go to bed!

[the-alarm-system]

Hey! We made a post about radinclus against radqueers but someone said that it's not radical to exclude radqueers?

I'm just a little confused bc I thought that radinclus are against child and animal abusers.

Idk, we just need a little advice as we're still new to the punk community and stuff!!:3

-🌊⭐️

Hey, so from what I know radical inclusion is for “good faith identities” and not shit like “transmolestchildren”. They’re just trying to guilt you into thinking grooming is a sexual orientation and being black is a gender. radqueers use queer language to cover up their vile shit behind the same arguments normally used for gay rights, and being transgroomer isn’t the same as thinking sexuality labels aren’t as strict as people want them to be.

[aroace-confessions]

I grew up in a culture where a lot of LGBTQ+ stuff wasn't talked about so for the longest time I felt like the only options were gay or straight and because I never got crushes/wanted to date a lot of people forced the gay label onto me and I always felt uncomfortable by it because it never felt right? Esp because I used to get celeb and fictional characters on male characters if not actual male humans. Eventually I found out that I'm aro/ace but also aego and so the shipping, enjoying romance and sex in media and occasionally watching porn to satisfy my libido made a lot of sense!

However, because a lot of people assumed my 'confusing' sexuality meant I was gay, or because every time I came out to people for the longest time they would ask 'are you sure you're not just gay'... so every once in a while I'll be like... maybe I'm just gay and in denial/repressed?? Esp when I'm watching porn. Like I don't really have a preference, like I'll just watch anything where people seem to be enjoying it. But on occasion I'll watch something where I'm like... oh that looks like it would feel really good maybe I want that? And that feeling happens more when it's m/f or f/f stuff just because I guess as a woman it's easier to imagine how the women are feeling in that moment, than what it may feel like for a guy. (Like I actually enjoy m/m and like m/m/f stuff more a lot of the time, it's just not as easy to ya know... picture the sensations ig. Sorry... tmi??)

Rationally I know that I'm not allo because I've never once experienced sexual attraction in my entire life and even when I'm feeling like 'maybe I want to experience this' I cannot think of a single real life person who I would want to have sex with, male OR female. I know it's just like a libido thing but because of people assuming things and forcing labels on me in the past, I feel like I still keep doubting myself on occasion that oh, maybe I'm just gay and repressed. Idk. I'm just so tired of doubting myself every time!!

Submitted 12/05/24

[lippiethehoe]

Well hi tumblr queers again :D.

Okay so for starters CONTENT WARNING I'll be talking about sexuality sex and overall sexual stuff so if that's not something you wanna look at then don't read thanks :).

I kinda feel like starting a little conversation and also hopefully getting some answers from lgbts from tumblr which hmmm... idk if this is the best place for this, especially since I don't particularly have a big following, nor do I think I have the means to make this be more visible to randos on tumblr so hmm, if this amounts to nothing know I'll be embarassed about it but that's okay, but also I fucking hate reddit and all my google research efforts have resulted in either basically nothing or people asking similar questions to mine but having very deeply different prespectives of both gender in general and sexuality in general than me so google research didn't slay at all, and so I'll lend my trust to the tumblers ig.

Ok so hello, I'm lilly I'm a demiromantic trans woman and I've struggled for kind of a while with my sexuality, not because I don't know what it is, but because I'm actually a huge labels person. Having a word to describe the way i feel about things has always helped me feel as though I know myself better and can make others know me better aswell. Even if putting labels on complex human feelings and emotions is essentialy pointless, it's still something that means alot to me, and I hate that for the longest time I have been perfectly capable of knowing what my sexuality is, but can't simple it down to one word and use it on my day to day life and that makes me sad. It also makes me feel kinda alone in my feelings? cause I'm basically the only person i know with this prespective on my sexuality at least for now so I'm a bit confused, obviously I don't think I'm the only person like this cause that's basically impossible but it still feels that way ig?

Also I remembered this recently only because it's pride month, happy pride month btw :3, and I was doing a thing on discord where everyday I'd add a flag that I indetify with on my profile picture, problem is I've ran out of flags, because no sexual orientation feels right and from my knowledge of it there isn't a sexuality nor a flag for what I feel, and now not only does my discord pfp not look full of colors and pretty it also re-awakened a little identity crisis I've had for a while.

This is definetly gonna be a very long post but I won't feel like I explained myself correctly if it isn't a big post so bear with me, but let's start.

So I'm gonna start explaining how I personally view sexuality and gender so you, reader, can have all the means available to understand my prespective on this. Sexuality to me is kinda simple, simply means whatever a person is attracted to, what makes them sexually interested in someone, whatever other way you wanna put it, and gender is simply the way a person identifies themselves with, the eyes they navigate the world through, the way they percieve themselves and the way they want to be percieved as by others etcetera, I won't explain my prespective on romanticism cause that's essentially useless to my question, but yeah simple stuff right?

So here's where I don't believe I fit in with most sexualities, here's the question I've had for quite a while but never thought to express it in a place where more than just a few friends could hear, I am not sexuality attracted to genders, ok now is when someone screams at me and says pansexual, I don't agree, but moving on, I'm not sexually attracted to people much, I am sexually attracted to penis tho, and here's where someone screams heterosexual at me AND IF YOU DID I FUCKING HATE YOU FYI NOT CAUSE I HATE HETEROS BUT BECAUSE THAT AS AN ANSWER TO WHAT I SAID IS FUCKING TRANSPHOBIC, YEAH I SAID IT, BITCH!!!

But here's the thing, what is a gender, ok I wrote alot after i said that but deleted it all cause this could fall into a very long rabbit hole, but gender's a construct blah blah, can you tell I probably have some neurodivergencies going on in the head anyways continuing. Genuinely, I don't know what it feels like to be a sexuality that includes gender in it, not because I don't think it to be true obviously i know people are heterosexual bisexual homosexual lesbians any other sexual orientation that implies gender being a part of the equation. But to me I can't be sexually attracted to men because a man can be anything to me, I can't be sexually attracted to women because a woman can be anything to me, i can't be sexually attracted to enbys cause being non-binary can be anything to me and the list goes on. Nothing is set in gender because to me gender can look like, feel like, and be like anything, if I labeled myself heterosexual, sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender of me, what would I mean by it? cause think about it, there're big men small men skinny fat muscular men hairy shaved brown eyed dark skinned pussy having dick having blah blah blah and the list goes on again, and even in there I'm not specifically attracted to any of the traits on that list anyways, none of those traits sexually arouse me, men don't sexually arouse me, women don't sexually arouse me, but you know what does? penis. So therein lies the issue, cause surprise, there's a bunch of dicks in the world, what? that's crazy? Yeah penis is everywhere, there're men with penises women with penises nonbinaries with penises intersex people with penises dildos people with strap-ons and the list goes on and in that entire list, the only thing that sexualy arouses me personally, is penis, not who has it, not wether or not it was there from birth, not wether or not it's made of plastic or human skin, not wether or not I'm specifically sexually attracted to any other aspect of said person, but simply the thing that sexually arrouses me and makes me feel pleasure is the thing that sexually attracts me, which in my head is so fucking obvious? Like it's a conclusion so natural to me, but it seems I'm the only person in a 50 km radius that feels this way? It's also possible that I'm actually wrong and view the current existing sexualities in the wrong way and if that's what's up please tell me.

Also i feel the rising tension of someone saying stuff like "people can sexually stimulate others with fingers are u FiNgErSeXuAl?" and the truth is not really but I still find it sexually arousing when it happens, but the last thing I'm gonna do is look at fingers and blush I think. WOAH THAT JUST OPENED A NEW DOOR FUCKK OH NO THIS IS GONNA BE TOO LONG MAYBE I SHOULDN'T POST THIS IDK. I am also sexually attracted to certain actions, but at this point I feel I'm leaving sexuality and going into kink territory and that isn't really where I wanted to go. EITHER WAY my overall conclusion is I don't understand most sexualities and feel as though my view of my sexuality should have a label so I feel more comfortable, maybe I should be the catalyst who knows maybe someone's already been the catalyst and I'm simply unaware of that, either way I'd like a sexuality flag to add to my discord pfp so maybe I'll just make a flag up, who fucking knows, that's it tho. So yeah if anyone who sees this post experiences anything similar to this and wants to share about it please do I'd be really thankful.

Thank you so much if you sticked with me all the way to the end, and if you feel like you might have some insight on what I'm saying or simply wanna say something relevant to this topic please do, it's pride month and I'm incredibly proud of all queers and gender fuckers :3 happy pride month!

Ps: I just wanna say something, this isn't an invitation to flirt with me send me unsolicited dick pics or respond to things I clearly showed not to be questions, I want this topic to be taken in more of a discussion way than a sexual one, if that could be possible I'd be thankful, ok that's it bie bie.

[your-queer-dad]

Hi finch! It's the person talking about binders a lot again. I just need other people to bounce thoughts off of bc I don't know anyone else irl who's trans/transmasc.

For context, I'm afab but not a woman and also not a man. I used to be a girl bc i was raised that way and didn't know there were other options but i haven't grown into a woman. I dont want to grow into a woman. I'm pretty sure I'm agender? At least that sounds more correct than the other labels I've gone by (girl, demigirl, nonbinary). I guess I experience gender similarly to sexual attraction (aka I'm very confused and don't understand how other people know what their gender is or how they experience gender).

That's not the point of this though, it's (once again) the topic of top surgery. I feel like I'd be fine without getting it... like if I'm by myself my chest doesn't bother me. It's there and I don't hate it. I dont think I experience dysphoria, especially not the way other people do. But if I'm out in public I know that other people will notice my chest and read me as a woman and treat me accordingly as a result. THATS what bothers me, I think. I haven't gone swimming in a few years because of it and i kinda miss doing that... But I think if it wasn't seen as a woman thing/a widely sexualized part of the body I'd be fine just keeping my chest. But on the other hand I'm worried about opting to remove it. What if I regret that choice? What if I hate how I look after? I mean, once I have the surgery that's it, that's my body. And I guess I could keep a small bit of breast tissue but that's not the point lol

There's also the other side of the coin. I just looked in the mirror earlier and for a second my brain didn't register my chest and that felt so correct. It felt so right. But I'm still worried about making a decision because it'd be so much easier to just let my chest be the way it is because it doesn't bother me THAT much. And I wonder if a reduction would feel better but my chest is already on the small side (cant tell you the size bc i never bought real bras lol I've only ever worn sports bras) and I don't know if it would help me. Like what if I regret the reduction? Or on the flip side, what if I do it and it's not enough? I don't want to have to go under twice.

Idk, I've just been thinking about this for a few months now and I'm being indecisive about it. The decision will probably be influenced by how easily I could get the surgery (bc from what I've read you need a letter from a therapist and all that stuff here and also the insurances like to pretend that nonbinary people/people who wanto to do something other than the "normal/full transition" dont exist) and if I think it's worth the stress of having to explain those feelings that I dont even quite understand myself yet. I mean, having a surgery (or potentially going on hrt but somehow that is even more daunting than surgery to me) would make me visibly trans and I don't think my country is doing too well in regards to queer safety yet. I don't know if I want to be visibly trans but I know that I dont want to basically "fully transition" and be read as a man. That'd be too far in the other direction. Ideally I just want to confuse people but that sounds like an unsafe situation to be in, especially in my current almost fully cishet social circle...

Man, I wish Shape-shifting powers were real so I could just test things impermanently before actually going through with permanent changes. That'd make this whole thing so much easier.

Idk, I just wanted to be able to tell another trans person about this and maybe get some advice or something. Im so sorry about how long this got. Thank you for reading it! I appreciate your account a lot, it's nice to just read everyone's experiences. Thank you for running the account and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.

Everyone, go hydrate! /nf

- 🌌🌃

Hey kiddo!! I completely understand those worries and my best advice is: if you have any doubts, don't do it. Top surgery is irreversible and it isn't worth it. Wait until you're 1000% sure. I completely understand that's hard and other people's assumptions is so annoying. I wish shape shifting skills were real too!!! That would be so handy.

- dad x

[rollercoasterwords]

Hey so I just finished reading James’ interlude (it was amazing by the way!) and the u portrayed his aromanticism was so fascinating, def one of my portrayals. I saw u answering an anon and u mentioned (correct me if I’m wrong) that his aromanticism kinda comes from him being the chosen one, and how stuff like gender and sexuality are socially constructed. This is such an interesting concept to me coz I hear that language getting thrown around a lot but I never really understood what it meant.

It kinda reminded me of a convo I had with my transmasc friend. He said that if he had been born a boy he probably would have been transfem. At first I was pretty surprised, but then I thought abt it and realised that despite being a lesbian, if I had been born a boy I probably would have been gay. This revelation really stumped me coz, for context, Income from a conservative religious background, so I’ve always latched onto the idea that being gay is smth innate, or how God made me. But after that revelation,, I was like,,, maybe I can be straight if I try hard enough?? Liking girls is not smth innate within me?? Idk.

Sorry for the rambling lol but reading ur works always gets me thinking deeper abt these kind of topics. Probs has smth to do with u studying gender studies lol.

Anyways love ur work and have a good day <33

yeah i mean. i def think it's a good idea 4 everyone 2 spend time pondering & developing their own understanding of gender; ik mine has changed significantly over the course of my life & likely will continue 2 change as i grow older & learn more, etc.

i think one thing people tend 2 get stuck on is this idea that either ur born w ur identity (whether that's gender, sexuality, etc) baked in & have 2 discover it throughout ur life (bound up in the post-Enlightenment idea of a disembodied 'soul' or 'mind') OR it's all socially constructed, so it's completely made up/shaped by outside forces and we're all just playing pretend, etc. but that's really not what i mean when i say that i think of gender (& sexuality, etc) as socially constructed.

the best metaphor i have rn 4 explaining my own worldview is the idea of an accent. obviously, there is a material component to someone's accent: the shape of their mouth, their teeth--their ears, their hearing, etc. all of these physical & material factors influence how someone's accent might develop. but none of those factors really matter until placed within a social context--depending on where & how ur raised, ur accent will vary wildly, and it won't necessarily remain static throughout the course of your life. you & your family might have different accents; you might use a different accent to speak another language; your physical body might change in some way that affects your accent and the way u speak (stroke, hearing loss, etc). but there's no single, "true" accent inside of you waiting 2 be discovered and spoken. it's a socially constructed part of ur identity that develops throughout ur life, and can only be understood & have meaning attributed to it in a social context. and once u develop an accent, it feels as natural & as much a part of u as something like hair color, etc--it's not something u can just snap ur fingers & change, despite the fact that u weren't "born that way."

obviously, this is a metaphor, and there r many ways gender identity differs from accents--but i find it useful 4 helping illustrate in a tangible way what i'm talking abt when i say something is a "social construction." w james in wfrau specifically, what i was trying 2 say in that ask was not, again, that being "the chosen one" made him aromantic; rather, what i'm hoping 2 convey is that his experience growing up as "the chosen one" has fundamentally shaped his own understanding of his inability to experience/confusion surrounding romantic love (this is also why i avoid concretely labeling him as aromantic in the tags on the fic; it's not necessarily how he understands himself). he attributes this part of his identity to his understanding of himself as a "hero," i.e. someone who is not meant 2 prioritize any one person above The Cause/The Quest, bc his inability to grasp this concept of romantic love & reciprocate it does not align w normative understandings of love & so makes him feel ashamed & isolated & as though there's something "wrong" with him, & attributing this "broken" aspect of himself 2 the fact that he's meant 2 be a "hero" helps him reconcile w this piece of his identity that he otherwise doesn't understand how 2 qualify. again, i'm less concerned w whether there's some inherent "aromanticism" baked into him or whether he'd feel the same/identify the same way in different circumstances; what i'm interested in is looking at how this specific character has been shaped by these specific circumstances. hope that makes sense lol also ty glad ur enjoying the fic!

[stiffyck]

Making a mumscarian but kinda scar centric fanfic but they dont label their relationship bc they just exist next to each other, are all on the aroace spectrum and just vibe and im projecting millions of things onto all of them bc wtf why is gender and sexuality so confusing pffffff

Idk why im going into ur ask box for this but, you kinda inspired me to just, stop labeling my dumb stuff, express yourself how u want, aroace spectrum can literally mean so much, fuck yeah make scar centric stuff he deserves it so yeah, thank you

HELL YEA

I also stopped labeling myself I was like hmm this.... maybe that? No. That's not it.

I'd probably say there are two labels that fit me the most but who cares skfkrkgkrg

Anyway yes I hope you have fun writing your fic <3

[reduceduranium]

Uhm uh hey

Don't interact w/this post if you don't wanna read stuff about paraphilia (more specifically objectum)

Uhm, uh, if you're my partner then I recommend you not read this post cause uhm Uh :3 it's talking about sexual stuff and idk if you're comfy with that stuff from me.

So I can't find any good posts explaining what objectum is but uhm uh

It's basically a kind of paraphilia where you feel romantic, sexual, and/or platonic feelings towards objects and uhhh

Yeah I'm pretty sure I'm that.

I get they aren't *actually* real or sentient, but it's kinda like how you have certain plushes or stuffed animals that deffinetly have souls/personalities in your head if that makes any sense.

‼️2nd warning actually getting into nsfw stuff now‼️

I also don't feel romantic attraction towards plushes or objects... but like ropes and certain stuffed animals really turn me on :/

But ropes are in the slightly nornal way like a rope bunny and stuff, but for stuffed animals are just different 0n0

Like there are certain ones that, for some reason, just 0///0

And I don't know.

I'm really confused and unsure what to do about this like I know this isn't normal, and obviously, there will people who will judge me for this stuff and I get it if my partner reads this and is grossed out or uncomfortable with that. I just don't know what to do.

Does this have to do with my hypersexuality or autism??? Am I just weird??? I dunno.

Also, one of my other partners who doesn't know about this account (dunno if I will share it with him)

Has said something about being a necrophiliac and I don't know if that was a joke or not so???? Bleh, I'll try to figure that all out and make an update to this post.

Edit: Hi! Did more research, and I wouldn't consider myself radqueer AT ALL. I do get paraphilia and all the labels that are under it. As long as you are anti contact and/or avoid any content that shows REAL people or animals (photos or videos), I might not fully support it, but I won't comment on it.

Please be aware that not all paraphilia means things like 1ncest, z00philia, or p2dophilia.

Paraphilia can also be stuff like objectum or fictosexual (romantic, platonic, or sexual attraction to fictional characters).

Most of the time, things like this stem from mental illness and trauma.

Uhm uh :3 (fuck I think I might be the kind of person Twitter users and redditers make fun of.)

As long as you keep that kinda stuff between yourself, or a consenting, alive, adult Human, or like an object that you alone own, and keep away from people for obvious sanitary purposes, I don't care.

[elijahfanfics]

mha trio (bkg, todo & deku) x bullied exchange student oc/reader

After ten minutes of trying to name this bitch ive gone with June. Some may dislike this name and I get it its very 2020 but I think it suits them

June is autistic and will show traits that I show because that's what I know best about, these things will be from experiences that ive gone through in the past so I will also include a trigger warning list below

TW: bullying, autistic overload/overstimulation (NON SEXUAL THANK YOU VERY MUCH), physical violence (not a lot just shoves and some kicking), 3v1, destruction of property, use of the R word

June is a 16 year old autistic non binary person and loves their headphones, they always have their headphones on unless in a place where they needs to take them off e.g. in the classroom when the teacher is talking but they do have a pass to wear them when the teacher gives the go ahead. the students speak Japanese but the teachers know English, June knows Japanese and English but to know what language people are speaking in i'll put the Japanese speech in this font and also the three other girls only speak english. You can imagine June to look however you want and also this will be in 1st person :)

---------------

Im walking down a hallway, looking for the class labelled 1A, yet failing miserably.

"okay class 1C, that must mean class 1A is around here right?", I mumble to myself, looking around me at the doors in this stupidly confusing array of hallways. I turn a corner still looking down at the 'map' on my phone, that is even more confusing than these fucking hallways, and suddenly, im on the floor.

I look up and see Grace, Sophie and Jessica. Sophie being the self proclaimed 'leader' spoke up, "ew what the fuck I didn't know you would be here", she says disgustedly and looks at her friends, giggling to each other. I sigh and get up, walking away as they start barking at me (this actually happens too idk why people do this even in public and outside of schools like wtf. and also, furry friendly, its only the assholes who bark at emos n stuff) I am so looking forward to a new school with new people to yell and bark at me. yay.

The girls keep following me as I finally find my class AND THEYRE STILL BARKING AND GIGGLING, of course we're in the same class, why wouldn't we be.

I knock on the door and the girls finally stop barking and theyre just giggling and whispering. "you must be the four exchange students", a very tired looking man with black scruffy hair and a grey scarf says to us in a monotone voice, the girls immediately taking notice of the dishevelled man and quietly giggling to each other more. Aizawa saw this but didn't really care much and he turned into the classroom, waving us in. I start to enter the room but the girls push past me and leave me to close the door after them, I roll my eyes and stand in the corner as the teacher introduces us to the class.

"So as you may already know, four students from England(or America) have been transferred here for a month, the four of them will have separate rooms of the spare rooms. They will follow us around in classes and training but will not part take in any training as we are liable for any injuries they sustain and I would like to avoid a lawsuit, Grace, Sophie and Jessica cannot speak Japanese so teachers will be aiding them in classes, but June does speak Japanese fluently. June is autistic so please keep that in mind when you meet them, do not crowd them or yell around them. I was told to tell you that because again, any physical or emotional damage they sustain can end in a lawsuit and if that happens, you will be expelled. Are there any questions.", the teacher said, not very enthusiastic about there possibly being questions.

One student with green hair raises his hand, "yes Midoriya", the teacher says with a sigh.

"Mr. Aizawa, will they be in the common room much? And also I heard there is a space in this class still, will one of them possibly be transferred here? And can I ask June about their quirk or can we not talk to them at all? Will June be helping us with out English since they knows both languages? An-", the boy rambles on until Mr. Aizawa cuts him off. "Okay Midoriya that's enough questions.", Aizawa sighs before mentally preparing to answer him, "they will be in the common room as much as they want. Yes there is a possibility that one of them may be transferred if chosen. You may talk to June but if they want to be left alone, leave them alone. June can help you with your English work inside or outside of classes if they wish. Now are there any more questions.", he says and towards the end he scowls, as if daring someone to raise their hand.

I watch this interaction carefully, and I also pay attention to the class watching me and the girls too. I come to the conclusion that most of this class probably aren't like the people back home. One girl had purple hair and wires on her ears, and some of the students had on eyeliner too. They actually didn't seem too intimidating, and I didn't mind their curious eyes as appose to judging looks like i'd get in class back home.

"what are they talking about Junie", Grace says to me in a sickly sweet voice, nudging me with her elbow. The other girls turn to me too and I take a small step back, into the corner. "Yeah what are they sayin Junie", Sophie spoke, her words laced with venom as she practically spat the nickname they call me.

"Just that were using spare rooms in their dorm and we'll be sticking with this class for the month", I mumble quietly, while this is all playing out, Mr.Aizawa announces to the class that he's going to take a nap and for the class to work on their English translation worksheets.

"OMG no way are we spending the next month with you in the same dorm!", Jessica says, and they all start to fucking giggle again. Seriously, what is it with the giggling.

Suddenly an outstretched hand comes flying down between us forcefully and I look over to see a blue haired boy with glasses.

"please be quiet otherwise you may wake Mr.Aizawa", the boy says, in a quiet but forceful tone.

"..huh?", Sophie says and the all just look at him.

"he said to be quiet or you might wake the teacher", I translate for them.

"Wake the teacher? The teacher's sleeping?", Jessica says to the boy but he gives no reply and just blinks at them, realising his mistake. He looks towards me and we make eye contact for a brief moment before the girls laughing 'quietly' catches my attention. They are all turned to face Aizawa in hi yellow sleeping bag and I can see the irritation lightly painting his face. Most people couldn't tell but, A; it hasn't been long enough for him to be asleep yet and B; who wouldn't be annoyed.

I sigh and turn to the chalk board, picking up the white chalk. On the board I write 'if anybody needs help with their English, just ask and I can come to help' in Japanese of course. I turn to walk through the classroom to the back of the class where there was an empty row of four seats. Half way down, the three girls push past me and I fall slightly onto the green haired boys desk, apparently called Midoriya, I put my hands down on the edge of the desk to stop myself from falling flat on my face.

I take a step back and bow to him as I apologise to him quickly before carrying on to my seat in the corner, behind a girl with long black hair. I sit down and take my laptop out, about to start playing some stardew valley before I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look over and see a boy with red and white hair standing over me.

"I need some help on my English work please", he says, and I stand up, "yeah of course that's no problem", I smile and I follow him over to his desk.

He sits down and I kneel next to him to look over his work. Behind me I hear the girls whispering to eachother, "damn June getting on their knees for these guys already. fucking whore" "I know right who the fuck could actually like a r***rded ass like them anyways.". I try to ignore the comments but they do get to me and the boy notices.

"what are they saying", he asks in a calm voice. I look up at him, "oh, nothing, theyre just talking to each other about schoolwork and stuff", I say, trying to avoid answering truthfully.

"not true", he says, "they're talking about you, aren't they. You don't like each other. why?".

I stay silent for a moment.

"you said you needed help with the work", I look up at him with a dismissive smile, trying to change the subject.

He obliges and points to one of the sections, "Im having some trouble with "s"s on the ends of sentences. It can be used for "cars" and "car's" so what is the difference?"

I think about my reply for a moment before speaking, "yeah, so an 's' can signify a multiple but can also signify a possession, you can tell the difference from the use of an apostrophe. If the car belongs to someone then "the car's his", the apostrophe is basically a placeholder for an "I", if you can split the word into two and put an "I" before the "s" then its a possession, but if its something like "the cars belong to him", then they are his cars and he has multiple. The best way to understand a word isn't to look at the word its self, especially if you are struggling to understand it, its to look for context around the word.", I look up to him to see if he understood that and I saw it click in his eyes, he looks at me and thanks me before going back to his work and I walk back to my desk.

After classes finished, I made my way down the hall with my headphones on. I reach the dining hall and grab some food before heading off to find the smallest corner I could cram myself into.

I walk around the school for a phew minutes until I decide to sit outside on a brick wall that was about four feet tall. I place my food onto it and jump up to sit on the end of it, behind the school where it was basically deserted, no students to be seen, just how I like it.

I nod along to my music and eat my food in peace, something that has come to be a rare occasion.

I look over to my left and see three figures walking toward me. Great.

I ignore them and carry on eating.

When they get to me they start yelling, my heartbeat rises and I become nervous but I try my best to ignore them and just listen to my music. That is until one of them grabs onto my headphones and throws them as hard as she can onto the wall opposite us.

I just stare at where they lay, broken, on the floor. My eyes fill with tears but I try to hide it, my headphones are the most important thing to me. I need them. I cant afford to buy more.

I bring my knees up to my chest and curl up into a ball, still trying to ignore them.

They keep screaming at me and occasionally kicking me, barking and shoving too. I just stay curled up, feeling like im about to throw up. Hyperventilation starts and im struggling to hold myself together.

I start to hear some other voices too, speaking in Japanese. Just more people to scream at me…

One of the of the voices sound familiar though, from the class I was in, and another, extremely angry voice.

I hear some of what theyre saying, "im gonna fucking kill em" and "Kacchan, you cant kill them, we can get them to leave them alone though".

I hear three sets of footsteps and I look up a bit, it's Midoriya and Todoroki and some other blonde boy who I don't know the name of yet. They all look angry. Like, about to stab someone angry.

I make brief eye contact with Todoroki, his eyes softening slightly as he waves his right hand. Ice shoots from the floor, barricading me from the girls.

"The hell do you think youre doing huh?!", the blonde one yells as he uses explosions coming from his hands to project him onto the wall next to me. "Bakugo, be quieter, you remember what Mr.Aizawa said", Todoroki said in monotone voice, yet still looking pissed, "yeah yeah I know..", Bakugo replies much quieter than before.

The girls look at eachother and Grace speaks up, "what the fuck dude", and Sophie chimes in, "yeah you could've hurt us with that fucking ice". Midoriya looks at me, wanting me to tell them what the girls are saying, but I just put my head down and curl up tighter.

Midoriya tilts his head in confusion, "They've gone non verbal, they wont talk to you until they feel safe, its an autism thing", Bakugo mumbles gruffly.

Todoroki uses the little English he knows and turns towards the girls, taking a step forward, steam coming from the left side of his body. "Go. Away.".

Jessica scoffs, "whateaver.", she says and turns to walk away, the other girls following suit, not without sending me a dirty look or two of course.

The ice disappears as the three of them sit next to me on the wall.

A phew minutes pass by as I calm down and I slowly say, "they broke my headphones.. I cant afford to buy new ones though.." tears trail down my face as all three boys in unison say "i'll buy you new ones"

There's a pause as they look at eachother, Bakugo says in a hardly audible mumble "we'll all buy you things if that makes you happy.." as he looks at me. I sniffle, "you don't have to do that.." I say quietly.

"we will though", Midoriya says happily, smiling at me. "and Kacchan, don't turn this into a competition!", Midoriya practically whined.

"everythings a competition to me, damn nerd." he keeps his voice low, still looking at me, not breaking eye contact.

We spent the rest of break on the wall, talking and laughing about random things, but Bakugo never seemed to take his eyes off me, Midoriya teasing him about it slightly and instantly regretting it.

It was fun and I had a hunch that maybe this month wouldn't be so bad after all.

----------------

I was feeling very Todoroki today idk why but here, three dudes that are willing to buy stuff for you to make you happy, two of em are rich, isn't that everything anyone could ever want :0

This is my first post on tumblr, but if this isnt absolutely terrible please check out my wattpad elijah_fanficss :D

i will probably post all of the stories on here too eventually but just check it out since its where i post everything first, its not long and theres only a phew parts on there at the moment but im working on it T-T

i tend to ramble so just ignore that :p

i am taking ideas so if you wanted me to wright about something drop it in the comments and i can see if its something i would like to do but no promises :)

[another-lost-mc]

i like to think that besides asmo, none of the brothers + demons actually got to sleeping around. like they get asmo's situation but they don't actually get partaking in one night stands and fwbs. they're demons not succubi! giving someone permission/control to their bodies in such a state is a HUGE thing. so when mc leaves them in the morning they're all just a mixture of lost, confusion and despair– they just bared their souls to you after all!– even more so when mc thinks of it as nothing more than just a casual fuck and is confused why they're all acting like this. bonus points if mc has actually fucked their way thru the demons and they're all just finding out

idk just the thought of humans being crueler than demons in that sense, miniscule really but if you think about it...

(non-explicit nsfw thoughts below—I reference the OM! characters in a general sense but obviously this does not include Luke)

I think the fandom's different opinions on how the demon brothers view sex and intimacy is really interesting. I imagine every writer has their own headcanons about it and how their own reader/MC characters respond. @onyourowndaisymae explored this in her roster series and we had a lot of great conversations while she was writing it. (Gushing about the way we characterize Barbatos and Simeon our favs is always fun to do. lol)

For me personally, I usually write the characters assuming they've had sex at some point in their very long lives, but I use a sliding scale of sorts to label which characters indulge more often than the others and why I think so.

I also tend to imagine my reader/MC as someone that's had sex in the past (writing virgin!reader stuff isn't something I'm super interested in). My reader/MC character enjoys physical intimacy/affection but is also a bit passive/shy about pursuing others for romantic or sexual purposes (typical human self-esteem/confidence issues at play).

How I would approach this idea:

— shy/insecure poly!reader has feelings/attraction for the demon brothers — reader has sex with them assuming a "real" relationship isn't what the demons are interested in (because they're only human, why would they be, they could have anyone else, etc.) and try to be satisfied with it being physical-only — the demons are angsty/hurt the morning after but reader doesn't understand why; the demons feel rejected because they want more, while reader thinks their body is all the demons want — some sort of dramatic blowout and afterwards all the misunderstandings are finally resolved (literal and figurative happy endings for everyone)

It's fun to think about and I kind of like the idea. It's a popular conversation topic in this fandom for a reason—everyone can tweak it to fit their own preferences and MC character/self-insert. My personal spin on this, if I wrote it, would probably be limited to the characters I like writing for (including some of the angels and maybe an OC or two, you know who I am by now lol).

[redactedwriting]

ryden feminization is on my mind 24/7 and i have 2 fics to prove it and theyre still. fucking there!! wont leave me alone!!! its like ok what if theyre both a little weird about their sexualities. maybe brendon wants to be the prettiest princess. maybe talking to him like hes a girl makes it work out in ryans mind. or whatever. admin do you have any thoughts/questions/concerns. there arwnt enough panic fics where they get genderweird with it (swapping or trans or crossdressing theres obv a distinction but i eat them all up) im doing my mfing part

oh i have so many thoughts. this might be long or maybe not idk im feeling like yapping tn

okay.

for me, ryden is Very gender. i’ve read early days fics (in like the past decade) that were written as it was happening (so like, mibba or livejournal or dreamwidth fics. i’m old i know) (im 24 btw) and in a lot of them, ryan’s always the gender fucked one, and typically brendon is kind of an asshole about it, either through blatant transphobia or internalized trans/homophobia. and because of that, we never got (not rly) any good brendon gender fics, and i will say i don’t typically see brendon as having a funky gender beyond, like, liking to be called a girl sometimes when he gets fucked. and even then, it’s not The Thing that hits him. but it hits sometimes, and he likes it enough.

i’m gonna talk about ryan for a minute and then elaborate on brendon! so for me, ryan’s very gender vague. he doesn’t rly identify as a man or as a woman but some blurry line in between. he doesn’t use labels like non binary or trans, maybe ever even as a grown grown adult, because they just don’t connect to him. he umbrellas his gender as queer, along with his sexuality, because that’s what it feels like to him. he isn’t cis, but he’s not trans. he has a gender, it’s just…kinda there, and not rly making itself known until he’s experiencing something that rubs him the wrong way.

he enjoys feminization a lottttttttt, i think, but not in a “i want to be a girl” way, more of a “i like how i look in this dress, and i like how it makes me feel dainty”. hes very poetic with it, just like his lyrics. and its confusing to everyone except him because he doesn’t know how to properly articulate it.

ryan’s the first person brendon ever met that was comfortable in the vague queerness of sexuality and gender, especially during the early days back in 2005/6. it opened brendon’s eyes for real, how comfortable ryan was when he wore his eyeliner or gaudy campy stage makeup, and it opened his eyes to the thin line-ness of gender expression.

ryan looked boyish and charming in his flowery vest and john lennon haircut, but there was something about him that also just..wasn’t inherently boyish or girly. it was just ryan!

brendon’s gender to me is pretty solid in masc he/him world but it gets. funky. because he rly likes it when ryan treats him “like a girl” or “like his girlfriend”. he likes when ryan calls him his girl, he likes when ryan helps him with his stage eyeliner, he likes when he sometimes wears a big oversized shirt and little boxer briefs (because he’s too shy to go buy or, god forbid, ask, for panties). he likes shaving his legs and pits and face. he likes the florals of pretty odd bc it gives him an excuse to wear flowery pretty things in interviews and for shows and stuff. he likes it! it makes him happy!

mmm and then. genderfucked sex my beloved. i’m a switch ryan/switch brendon truther and i have a difficult time seeing either of them as a dom but i don’t think they’re subs either. i think sometimes it’s where one is subby and the other takes a leading role and vice versa, or sometimes they’re both subby and they just frot or something, or sometimes it’s just, idk, one fucking the other with no assigned role. just pleasure. it’s just them.

[yes0another0outsiders0blog]

Hey, I am working on longer headcanons and stuff currently. Work is being a lot, though, and my brain isn't staying still long enough to do more than a bit at a time. So, in the meantime--

The Outsiders Queer Headcanons : (Part 1)

Kind of modern au? Most of these labels didn't really exist in the 60s and they probably wouldn't be thinking of labels or processing their queer feelings like that back then, but I think if they had the labels and were in a more accepting society this is what they'd identify as.

Warning : homophobia, I can't write about a group of men from the conservative southern 1960s and their queerness semi-realistically without touching on it

Ponyboy -

biromantic, demisexual

preference towards men, but not a strong one... like, 60/40 split

personally, I ship Purly, so there's that. also, Pony 100% really started experimenting in college. like, him and Curly had some mutual feelings before, he went to college and came back like "OH, okay, yeah I like guys, cool," and an actual relationship came from that

Sodapop -

pansexual, doesn't care about gender in the slightest

is probably the most chill with lgbt stuff from the beginning. even outside of modern au, if someone was openly queer around the gang then everyone else would be at varying levels of uncomfortable (because, uh, conservative southern 60s), but Soda would just be like "you know what, good for them!! they seem happy!!"

wouldn't seek it out on his own, but if he was introduced into the lgbt community he'd DEFINITELY get into experimenting with gender. still cis, but plays with drag occasionally and gets damn good at it.

actually doesn't really care about gender at all. won't consider himself anything other than a guy, he was raised a guy and doesn't have any issues with that or any reason to say otherwise, but also doesn't have any strong connection to it. you could call him anything (gender-wise) and he'd be chill. technically, cassgender would describe him accurately, but it don't think he'd use the label because it wouldn't really be saying anything important to him.

Darry -

unfortunately, that is a Heterosexual Man. (nothing wrong with straight people, I'm just a gay genderqueer femboy that happens to lowkey be a Darry simp, so it's unfortunate that I can't see him any other way--)

tries really hard to be an ally because his brothers very much date men, but struggles a tiny bit

wouldn't be mean to a queer person, but is very confused and uncomfortable with the topic because it's unfamiliar to him

asks a lot of kind of awkward questions. like, wants to understand and is trying, but it comes out so weird.

bless his heart

Two-Bit -

probably straight... heteroflexible?

has only dated women, has only been attracted to women, but is open minded

when he's single, he talks about a future partner pretty neutrally or says things like, "when I have a wife, or husband idk I'm not a psychic--"

makes really homophobic jokes out of discomfort, uses humor to cope and is just super not use to gay people. not doing it maliciously, but sometimes says things that are pretty terrible without meaning to

if called out, he'll stop (to an extent, he'll still take the easy opportunity for a dumb joke, but he isn't saying anything horribly offensive anymore), he just genuinely did not know that what he was saying was actually really awful

Steve -

bisexual and incredibly homophobic

so mad about being attracted to men. the fact that he PREFERS men? disgusting.

all of the characters have internalized homophobia, but none half as powerful as this man's.

the type to say that he'd "never choose to be gay" and honestly does think (or maybe just convinces himself) that it's a choice. thinks that everyone is essentially bi but "chooses" their sexuality based on which attractions they act on. desperately does not want to be wrong (but is very much wrong)

would probably have a secret "casual" relationship for a LONG time before he can't do it anymore and is forced to accept that he's into men for real

you'd think that being best friends with Soda, the most chill person ever with this stuff, would help. maybe it does and god knows how long it would take Steve to come around without him. but it still takes him SO long to just be okay with any of it.

he does grow out of being terrible about it (maybe not fully, but at least mostly), it just takes a TON of time and a good handful of mental breakdowns to get there

Johnny -

unlabeled, struggles to tell if he's aroace-spec or if he just has trouble being close to people due to trauma. isn't sure if the two are connected or how, doesn't really like thinking about it for too long.

he also has trouble distinguishing different types of attraction at all.

basically just along for the ride whenever it comes to his sexuality. if he's attracted to someone, then alright. he's spent a long time trying to figure attraction out to only end up more confused, he might wonder about it when he does get a crush but he isn't actively deep-diving into his feelings and searching for accurate labels.

Dally -

bisexual, heavy preference towards women though

would probably never act on feelings towards a guy, those kind of really scare him. but he has seen a good handful of guys that he's just fully, undeniably attracted to, so he knows damn well it's a lie to call himself straight

(he's still going to, tho)

also, demiromantic

denies that he's romantically interested in anyone ever, but he does feel that attraction. he just has to have a bit of trust before he can feel it.

not actually explicitly homophobic, genuinely does not care what other people do with their lives, but he's a piece of shit in general so he'll definitely see a queer person as an easy target. he's the type of person to use anything he can to start something, he's going to use someone being a minority against them just because he's a fucking ass.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas, I’m looking for some advice (if you’re okay to give it, feel free not to)

So for reference, I’m an afab teen but lately I swear I’ve been questioning literally everything.

I know this is normal etc. but I really would just like to figure something out for once instead of questioning for years. I’m somehow questioning my gender and sexuality and I just want to stop stressing about it

My dilemma is mostly about my sexuality. Because I could totally see myself with a girl, I don’t think I would have any qualms about that. I mean, sure, I’d be confused but still. And I think I could like a boy? But I can only ever envision myself with a boy as a boy as well? I think I could also see myself as a boy with a girl. But I don’t know if the reason is because I really hate the representation of straight relationships in media etc where the guy has so much more power and influence etc. over the girl and all that (I’ve also had a couple of bad experiences with boys (mostly in primary and middle school, thankfully) not taking no for an answer when the asked me out and keep pursuing for literal years), so I don’t know if that’s influencing my perception.

There’s also a trans boy at my school, who just looks so… cool? And happy, free? And idk, I was just kind of envious of him for a minute before I sort of caught myself and now I’m so confused. I’ve always hated the way I look, but I always thought that would be more to do with not conforming to beauty standards, but thinking back it might’ve been gender dysphoria (to this day, I genuinely will cry when I have to try clothes on for too long and it often just feels… wrong? But I also hate the feeling of clothes so ???).

I’ve thought that maybe I’m non-binary, but there’s not much point in trying to identify with that as while my parents would definitely support me, I don’t think they really get the whole ‘gender is a spectrum’ thing or much else, and behind my back might be a bit like ‘they’re pushing the gay agenda on you’. And idk, maybe it is cos I can’t seem to see myself as… not gay???

I’m sorry for the sort of rant and if this doesn’t make coherent sense. I think I sort of needed to write things out. But if you have any advice it would be much appreciated. I’m sure you have so many people telling you this but scrolling through your advice is genuinely so helpful (and your microfics are awesome too!)

I also saw you were naming your anons, and I might come back with another question, so you can call me dictionary anon if you want, as my favourite thing to read is the dictionary.

Hi! <3 it sounds like you have a LOT going on in your brain right now, so let's try to piece some of it out, okay? I'm gonna give you some sexualities, genders, stuff like that, and I want you to think about how they feel for you.

So for sexualities, I think you should look at both bisexual and pansexual. Bisexual means that you are attracted to two or more genders, but gender is a factor. Pansexual means that you are attracted to people regardless of gender. You focus more on personality (and, of course, looks, to a certain extent).

For genders, think about bigender, genderfluid, demigender, and genderqueer. Bigender means you identify with two or more genders; genderfluid means your gender fluctuates depending on the day or certain situations, demigender means you have a loose connection to one gender, and genderqueer is a vaguer term meaning you just...don't have a traditional relationship with gender. When you say there's not much point in trying to figure out your gender, I don't necessarily think that's true.

Obviously, it's your decision and I respect it, but I think there's a lot of help in knowing more about who you are, even if you aren't in a space to share it. Whether or not you have a label (you absolutely don't need one), maybe deciding on things you like/dislike when you come to gender? Because you shouldn't...force yourself to think of yourself a certain way just to appease others.

I think it could be helpful for you to kind of...look at these terms and decide if they fit for you. But ALSO, it's okay if you don't know right now. It's okay to just say, "I feel like a girl right now." or "I like THAT boy." That's completely valid.

The last thing I'd encourage you to think about is something called 'gender envy,' which it sounds like you might be feeling for the trans boy at school. Gender envy is where you see someone and they're just so...gender. Like either their expression or their identity or just their confidence in their gender makes you want that. Conan Gray gives me BIG gender envy. So if you are feeling gender envy, ask yourself why? Is it because you want to also be more masculine? Is it because you want to be confident in your identity like he is? Either way, gender envy can help you understand your own gender.

If you need help talking through any of this, I'm always here- I know it can be a lot. Remember that the most important part is that you (safely) figure out who you are. Even if you can't label it, exploring your identity is awesome, and I'm proud of you for doing that!

<3 <3 <3