#whos gonna stop him the government? there IS no government. /HE/ is the god of Japan at this point

[mishy-mashy]

*COUGH*

The Resistance has PTSD of AFO using Cynthia's piano theme

*COUGH*

[gloriousmonsters]

it looks slightly more natural on Technically Big Boy (still 11 on the inside and panicking) Link rather than teeny baby Link, but I still think Din's Fire looks like it was made to be a Ganondorf move

[greenglowinspooks]

Alright, since it’s no longer 2 in the morning and my head’s a bit clearer, I present to you:

Liminal Riddler

So, not everyone in the DC fandom knows about this, and I’d bet that even less people in the Phandom do, but at one point, the Riddler had cancer. Had, past-tense, because he cured it. With the Lazarus pits.

And yeah, not everyone who gets dipped in the pits has to be liminal, but one would assume that the sudden replacement of a large number of malignant cells throughout the body is gonna do something.

The Riddler already acts quite a lot like a DP ghost in some interpretations anyways. He’s got a strict gimmick that he genuinely can’t part ways with, he’s campy and fun, he’s incredibly violent, etc.

Also, the way that he would react to this whole thing would be funny as hell.

Do I think the Riddler would really care if the GiW was after him? No. This is Gotham, the government is constantly going after him anyways.

Do I think he would care if Danny was being hunted down by the same people, and his parents were involved? Somewhat. He probably wouldn’t care about Danny specifically, at least not right away, but a young boy running terrified from his own parents would definitely bring back some bad memories, and he would probably give him a hand (if for no other reason than to get back to plotting crimes instead of dealing with childhood trauma).

Do I think the Riddler, whose entire thing is being smarter than everyone else, would care if the GiW somehow let slip that they thought he didn’t have human intelligence? That they believed him to be nothing but an echo of human life?

It’s not even a question. He would be the most insufferable person in Gotham within the hour. Genuinely nothing could stop him, especially not if Danny was helping jailbreak him from Arkham every time he got caught.

Almost every major road is closed. Every warehouse on the Docks is on fire. Somehow, they managed to color the clouds and smog a bright green.

The natives of Gotham would probably get those anti-ghost laws and acts overturned faster than the Justice League, if only to make the Riddler stop. His traps and games aren’t even lethal at this point (due to Danny’s insistence), but they’re so genuinely annoying that the general population is about to beat the GiW agents to death themselves just to get the Riddler to quit it already.

Also, I think that during this whirl of chaos, the Riddler would become quite fond of Danny.

He’s a bright young boy who’s very fond of wordplay, and inventive enough to keep up with him. Aside from the inevitable crisis of “oh god I’m becoming the bat,” he’d probably be happy to take on Danny as his protégé. Even if the boy won’t let him kill anyone (rude), he’s a terrifying getaway driver and can turn the both of them invisible and intangible, making Arkham escapes a breeze.

Hell, the Riddler would probably be willing to make a false identity for the two of them, just so he could get the boy proper schooling.

(Yes, he thinks that the entire education system is a sham and that he could do much better, but Danny wants to go into aerospace engineering, and the Riddler isn’t one to squander someone’s interest in learning.)

(Also, Echo and Query would find the whole thing hilarious)

[dinogoofymutated]

SFW!Colossus/Fem!Reader

I've been infected with another fictional man the way in which I pumped this out was ridiculous. I happened to re watch the scene in the movies where the government breaks into the mansion and seeing Piotr act like a big brother/dad to all the kids really got to me. That and the Deadpool movies (even though I thinks he's a little stuffy in those.) I even rewatched the episode he had in the animated series so that I knew I would get his character right and DAMN ugh god I juts have a thing for big men with soft hearts. especially the ones who are family oriented.

ALSO HOLY SHIT TY FOR 600 FOLLOWERS???? when did yall get here???? I swear I was at like 48 two weeks ago lmao time flies when you're thirsty for the X men I guess!! TWs: None? No pronouns mentioned but I went ahead and labeled it as fem because it's basically about kids forcefully adopting you as their mom. Kids having night terrors mentioned.

Can you imagine sort of just being adopted by the students at the mansion as mutant mom?? At that point you don't really get a choice. Like you start out being very patient with these kids and making sure to keep bandaids, burn cream, pain meds and all of that because one way or another something is gonna happen- and you want to be prepared.

And then you start making breakfast. I feel like normally they probably have a schedule for who has breakfast duty but if you wake up and can't go back to sleep and you take over no one really cares. More sleep for them!!

And then a few times turns into every morning. And you're setting out ketchup for one kids eggs and syrup for another ones hashbrowns- and making sure not to cook with nuts and make sure there's at least three different things on the table that are Kosher or gluten free. Keeping an eye on everyone as they come to get food and noting who did and did not make it to breakfast this morning so that you can make sure they eat later-

And one day you're waking up at 5am and getting ready for the day so you can go make breakfast like always, and you look in the mirror at some point and just realise, holy fuck, when did you become a parent?

It's such a regular thing for kids to call you mom at that point, a knowing how so many of them have come from rough backgrounds, it makes you really happy to know they find comfort in you and will come find you if they need comforting.

And then there's Piotr. Big, strong, Piotr. Piotr who wakes up before dawn and does chores around the mansion in the early morning air. You can take the man out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the man. He does the lawn care, chops wood, takes care of whatever animals that might need feeding, replaces the feed in the bird feeder.

Piotr who makes sure to stop by the kitchen to share a small cup of coffee with you before he does chores. Piotr who hangs Hummingbird feeders right outside the kitchen windows because you mentioned you missed the ones your grandmother used to hang. Just Piotr, being strong and masculine and an absolute sweetheart.

He reminds me of that one quote that heard somewhere about masculinity being about protecting femininity, not rejecting it??? That one!!!

Kids call him dad all the time, and even though yall aren't even together, you become the parents of the school. Scott and Jean?? Love them, but they don't have that same kind of parent energy.

It's such a regular thing for kids to find the two of you interacting one way or another. Someone woke up way too early and enters the kitchen to find yall during your coffee, and there's a sweet moment with yall telling them to go back to bed, or offering to make them a quick breakfast. Maybe if they're really young Piotr will offer to tuck them in. He might be really blunt when telling them there are no monsters, but will be a little more gentle when you set a hand on his arm and give him a bit of a look.

The kiddo asks for both of you to tuck them in and you obviously aren't going to refuse them. Which leads to everyone wanting both of you to tuck them in and soon enough you two are doing curfew checks instead of the professor.

It's becomes so regular for the students to treat you two as their parents, and no one actually believes it when they find out that no, you're not a couple. So, they do what kids do and try to get you two together.

First it starts with making sure you two are sat together during everything they can get away with. Then it moves on to things like mistletoe (out of season, Piotr mistook it as an accidental bloom made by one of the agrokinesis kids and took it down) and then more mischievous plans like telling one of you that the other needed help with one thing or another, knowing that either one of you would help out at the drop of a hat. Sureee, they were lying, but you two didn't know that. (most of the time)

The kids just want to see their parents happy and in love. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? It's not like You and Piotr hadn't been helplessly pining for the other the entire time anyway.

You sigh deeply once you finally sneak out of the dorm room, Piotr right behind you. The tall man takes extra care to shut the door very gently, making sure it clicks in place just as silently.

"I thought we were never going to get her to sleep." You whisper to him. One of the youngest girls attending the school had a rather difficult time with night terrors, and would struggle to fall asleep without being tucked in. When you and Piotr were doing curfew checks tonight, she was the only kiddo still awake, and she had practically begged both of you to stay with her untill she finally did fall asleep. It couldn't be just one of you, It had to be both. No matter how many rooms you both had to check tonight, you would never have left her shaken up in such a state. You just hadn't expected it to take an hour.

"Illyana had similar dreams as a little one. It takes time for children to overcome it." Piotr whispers back as you begin to walk down the hallway to check the rest of the rooms. Even when he whispers, his voice is strong and hard to keep quiet. You know there's truth to what he says, and yet you can't help but wish you could do something more to help her with her nightmares. You rub some warmth into your arms anxiously as you think about it, surprised when you feel the warm weight of Piotr's hand settle in between your shoulder blades.

"You're worrying again." He states, frowning slightly when you look up at him. You send him a resigned smile, before it quickly falls as you look away.

"I can't help it. I worry about all of them, her especially. They just... deserve so much more than their lot in life." You say. Piotr hums in response, his thumb brushing idly against your back.

"Their life like us, you mean? Mutants?" His question makes you wince.

"No. Yes? I don't know. I just... I just wish that we could give them more than... this." You say, waving your hands to motion about the mansion. "The school might very well be the only safe space they have their entire life. The world hasn't been kind to them, and I'm not sure it ever will be." Your words begin to quiet down as you finish the sentence, lowing to a whisper that only he can hear. You'd never, ever want any of these kids hear a word of what you're saying. Knowing that hope is really all they have at their age, and you of all people refuse to be the one to destroy that beautiful childlike optimism.

"That is what we are working for as the X-men, yes? To change that?" Piotr asks you point blank, his hand moving up towards the back of your neck in a soothing manner that still gives you goosebumps, feeling the comforting heat of his hand even stronger than before.

"Yeah, but..."

"Then we are doing all we can." He finishes, a smile on his face that's so determined and confident that it very nearly changes your mind completely. Nonetheless, it's a reassuring smile that makes your chest feel warm and fuzzy. You smile back at him finally, and you swear you see fondness in his eyes.

It doesn't take long before the two of you are finally at your door. You give Piotr a short and sweet goodnight as you begin to step inside, but he stops you before you go, gently catching hold of your arm. For the first time, you think you've seen him debate on his words. His mouth opens, but he doesn't speak at first, and you swear you see a blush rising to his cheeks as he does so.

"You'd make a good mother." He says eventually, and it makes you smile widely.

"You'd make a good dad." You tell him. There's silence between you as he brushes a stray lock of hair away from your face in a fond and caring manner, and you swear you could trick yourself into believing that you and Piotr were already in domestic bliss if this moment goes on for any longer. The tall man leans in, and you find your mind short circuiting as he presses a kiss to your forehead. The simple action somehow leaving you beyond flustered.

"Sleep well, Любовь моя. I will see you in the morning." Piotr tells you, before walking off at his regular stiff pace. You stand in your doorway for a minute, watching him leave with a bit of a confused smile on your face. Out of all the Russian nicknames he's called you in the past, you had never heard him say that one before. You wonder if you should pick up a book on the language as you close your door and finally crawl into bed, although part of you is content to leave it be. Colossus had always been blunt, and you're sure he'd tell you eventually. You fall asleep just as you always do, excited to see him when you wake up in the morning.

[forsoobado137]

🍨dolly_as_prez Follow

🍨dolly_as_prez Follow

It's been five years since I made this meme and nothing has changed lol

156,932 notes

🧻Dorpblorpw93 Follow

Watching Alfred's short films on youtube are always fucking hilarious because I never know if he's being ironic or not. They all look like they were written produced by an over-caffeinated film student but if they had an actual budget. Like they are legit the funniest pieces of media out there and I have no idea if the comedy is intentional or not.

🏞fromthevalley89 Follow

Where do I begin here? The fact that he basically plays everyone? The fact that he included Arthur but didn't let him play as himself and cast him as bad guys? The fact that he was able to get Roderich and Francois on board with this? The fact that he doesn't even name himself and just puts ME? The fact that the end credits are three times longer than the movie? AND HE LITERALLY CAST HIMSELF AS GOD?! This is peak cinema.

🧭justintime12oclock Follow

Also what is up with Tony? Did Alfred just rotoscope his roommate and make him an alien? is it CGI (Really badly done)?

47,459 notes

🌌galaxylesbian Follow

AGAIN?!

🐝beemybestie Follow

Translation: wahhh wahhh my president won't give me money for Louis Vuitton and my seventh mansion so I'm gonna sit on my ass while the stocks plummet and the trains malfunction 🥺

🌟bugdrinkbugrink Follow

Actual translation: I've literally fought in dozens of wars and bent over backwards for this government and all I get in return is a minimum wage paycheck, demeaning insults from my own politicians, and disrespect from tourists that I'm forced to put up with. I deserve better, and by not working, I'm going to demonstrate how fucked you all would be without me. I hope this opens people's eyes to the lack of rights me and my fellow nations have, and that it will force governments everywhere to actually give a shit.

🌷Azaleyaaaaah02 Follow

Also that mansion thing is such bullshit. The reason nations have so many houses is because they have been ALIVE FOR CENTURIES and they can't just stay in one place forever. Also they have had more than enough time to buy houses when they were cheap and pay off multiple properties. Nations aren't just secretly a bunch of out of touch millionaires. They have been homeless, in debt, and have lived in far worse conditions than you could ever imagine.

🌟bugdrinkbugrink Follow

For everyone trying to call nations "selfish" for going on strike because it has negative effects on their countries, that is literally THE ENTIRE POINT OF STRIKES. World leaders think that all nations do is look pretty and die over and over in petty wars. In the THREE DAYS that France (and other European countries) went on strike back in 1976, the stock market plummeted, trade slowed, transportation stopped working, and other citizens stopped going to work. The leaders realized pretty quickly that they fucked up. After they got better wages, the nations returned, and everything was up and running again.

Moral of the story: PAY YOUR NPS A LIVING WAGE! These people have literally sacrificed everything for their nations. So what if France wants to be able to afford iconic French fashion brands? If I was an immortal being who died thousands of times in mankind's worst wars, you better BELIEVE I would demand that I can afford to treat myself.

41,246 notes

[mrs-kmikaelson]

What's in a Name? (+)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader Summary: The one time that you don't walk away. Warnings: mentions of substance abuse, vvs suggestive Words: 1.2K

Masterlist

a/n: if ur js finding this fic, this is the bonus! the fives times r does walk away are here. this happens right after no.5, btw.

6. A lie is the truth

Arlington, Virginia, 2008

You couldn't sleep.

All you could think of was the fact that you were in Aaron's bed and he was right outside the door. The thunder continued to boom but your thoughts were louder than the storm outside; they consumed you.

It was irrational. You'd known him for nearly five years, and in that time, you'd only seen him an equivalent of five times, yet he was still on your mind. He'd been on your mind non-stop since New York—and that was crazy.

You felt crazy.

You felt crazy because he was right. You felt something.

It all started off as a game. You just wanted to get under his skin, play with fire a bit, but you got burned. You couldn't handle the heat; you couldn't handle the way the game stopped being a game. It became something else.

Hotch's role was to get irritated, maybe a bit flustered, but he was never supposed to flirt back. He was never supposed to want to know you— you couldn't even remember the last time anyone wanted to do that.

Lovers came and went over the years, but none had ever felt like this. It was always physical, but you and Aaron hadn't even kissed. Without any of that, he still had you in his grip. 

You couldn't remember the last time you'd been with anybody. You don't know if you'd been holding off on purpose, if it was conscious. You'd been holding out for a guy you couldn't even be with, and now that you had the chance, you were the one holding back.

God, if he knew you before. If you'd met before, things would've been so different. Maybe he could've saved you from yourself. 

But he didn't. When you were drowning, you pulled yourself out of the water. That old version of you died, and Y/N was born. Y/N was the one who saved you. When you had no one else, Y/N was there. She was your shoulder to cry on until she taught you not to cry anymore, to focus.

But now what did you have? An apartment you barely lived in and nobody that really knew you. But there was a man out there, a good man, who said he wanted to.

You didn't know what you'd show him—you weren't even sure if you really knew you.

But maybe... maybe you could find out together.

You'd never know if you didn't try.

With that thought, you threw the covers back and beelined for the door. When you opened it, you were surprised to find Aaron already behind the threshold, fist raised to knock. In an instant, he dropped it.

"Y/N—"

You cut him off. "Wait, just— just let me get this out." He looked confused. "If I don't get it out, I don't think I ever will."

There was a beat of silence, but then he spoke. "Okay."

His eyes were kind and patient as you tried to gather the words, everything you wanted to say vanishing from your fingertips. So you went with the first thing that popped into your mind. "My name is Lorelai." Surprise shone on his face, but you paid it little mind, racing to say everything before you lost the courage. "But people used to call me Lai. It was a play on words, because I was a liar. I lied about a lot of things. I got involved with the wrong kinds of people, got my hands on the wrong types of things, I was—" you swallowed. "I was an addict. And my life was gonna go down the drain, but things changed. Then I got on the government radar, and suddenly I wasn't Lai anymore, but I was still a liar; the difference was just that I was a better liar. More powerful. Now I'm Y/N. And that name changed everything for me. That is what is in a name. Everything."

By the time you finished, you were breathing heavy. You averted your eyes as a chuckle left you. "So, tell me, Aaron, do you still want to know me?"

You were expecting him to leave, to end it there and tell you he'd drive you home tomorrow, but instead, you felt sudden warmth on your cheeks as his hands wiped away tears you didn't know were there. "Look at me." When you didn't respond, he tried again, "Y/N. Look at me."

You looked up, expecting to see judgement and hatred, anger, but you saw none of that. You saw openness and understanding, and other emotions you couldn't pinpoint. You realized you couldn't decipher it because no one had ever looked at you this way.

His voice was soft and firm all at the same time. "Y/N, I don't care what your name is. I don't care if a lie is the truth— I care about you." He paused as if he wanted his words to soak in, but not once did he look away. "I want to know you, whether that be about Lorelai or Y/N doesn't matter. This woman in front of me right now, she is who I want to know." 

Your heart beat rapidly against your ribcage as he leaned in closer. Déjà vu from your moment in the kitchen hit you hard, your eyes going back to his lips, the same lips that just uttered that he didn't care, the same lips that just washed away your fears. 

He closed his eyes and then pleaded, "Let me know you, Y/N."

That shattered any last semblance of doubt you had left, and you barely had time to think about it before you were slamming your lips into his. 

He reciprocated immediately, kissing you with the fervour of a man who'd been suffocated and you were his air. A sensation you couldn't name erupted all over your body, from your head to your toes, and you wondered how you had lived so long without ever feeling this. Of all the kisses you'd ever had, none could compare to this one.

But this didn't just feel like a kiss. It felt like a promise.

Your lips moved in sync together, just like when you'd been dancing that night in Washington. It was like your body knew all the steps to this dance without ever having learned it.

So now you wondered, if this was supposed to be wrong, why did it feel more right than anything you'd ever done?

Eventually, you had to pull away. His eyes were still closed. You grinned. "How about you get to know me tomorrow night at dinner?"

That caused his eyes to open, a full-fledged smile making its way onto his face, and you knew then and there that you'd do anything to make him smile like that all the time. "8 o'clock?"

You nodded and agreed, "It's a date."

His smile got wider, and then he ducked his head into the crook of your neck where it fit perfectly. You wrapped your arms around his neck, recalling how he tensed the last time you did so. Now he had a different reaction, pressing his lips against your neck and littering kisses everywhere.

Tomorrow, you had a date at 8'oclock. But as Aaron kicked the door closed, you wondered if you'd make it out of bed to get there.

You supposed you could miss one date.

You had a feeling there would be many more to make up for it.

[despairots]

could you do a story where miles from earth-42 and our miles are twins and we cant decide which one we like better as we like both of them? you can write the story however you want to!

━━━━━━━━ if i were you, i’d do me.

earth1610! miles morales x gn! hacker! reader x earth42! miles morales. fluff and if you like squint really really hard you’ll find angst. 18 and above please dni, unless your my moot or something… i forgot to change my requests to open but u can send me requests (only abt atsv) just like be patient cuz im daydreaming and shit 🙏

pls ignore the title its nothing suggestive i was braindead and was listening to my saved audios on tiktok this was thw first one on my saved so el oh el 🤕 i gotta keep my writing grind up. keep in mind that earth 1610 miles will keep beinf spiderman and earth 42 will keep being prowler. if y dont know sliver wolf from hsr, switch her up cuz reader is heavily based off of her

this’ll be left on a cliffhanger cuz like idk i just dont wanna make another part and sometimes things are better off with cliffhangers since you guys have creative minds you can come up with your own scenarios

where in a dimension, earth42 and earth1610 miles morales are twins, may look the same but have completely different hairstyles and different personalities also another weird, interesting fact, you’re a sucker for twins, especially them.

interesting fact about you, specifically you, is that you almost got caught by the government when hacking into their system to steal some information.

and of course, them having connections to spiderman, told him to go after this hacker who causes a lot of trouble for the government.

miles morales obviously being under that mask and friends with this hacker who knew that you hated authority (yes, you’re an anarchist), didn’t bother doing anything, probably just telling you to stop messing with them.

on the other hand, his twin bother, myles morales, encourages this behaviour. polar opposites but two cuties, and you, who got roped into romance with them.

“[name], what’d i say about hacking the government?” miles scolded you as you chewed on bubblegum with your feet propped onto your desk, holographic screens in front of you.

“i don’t know, me forgot.” you nonchalantly shrugged, spinning your chair to go back to your screens and swiping left to play the weeknd.

miles spinning you back and placing his arms on your arm rests, too close to your liking.

you smirked with a light scoff, “your brother likes it.” miles rolls his eyes at the mention of him, “i don’t care what he likes.” he snapped back, obviously lying.

miles leaned back with a sigh, “god, what am i gonna do with you?” “maybe get off my ass.” you muttered, not knowing if miles heard that, to which he did.

“i’m sorry, what?”

you jumped at that, quickly shooting your arms up and trying to find excuses, opening your mouth like a fish.

your voice’s overlapped eachother, unable to hear his twin brother opening the door to your room, mask off and everything.

he looked at you who kept stumbling on words.

miles spider sense went off and looked at the entrance, seeing the one guy who encourages your behaviour, “what - what did you tell them?” myles smirked and shrugged.

“i didn’t say anything, bro.” he placed his claws on your bed and sat down on it, “i am not your bro.” miles chuckled and sat down on your bean bag.

“um actually-“

“shut up.”

“cope.” you playfully stuck your tongue out at miles who smiled and rolled his eyes, god you loved his smile. i mean, what?

you don’t love them, boo, you hate them.

“dude, tell [name] that if i don’t catch the ‘hacker’ i’m gonna get my ass kicked.” miles and his brother made eye contact, “i hope you do.” myles replied with a playful tone.

miles threw his hands up, “you guys are actually evil.” you laughed at his comment, “we’re actually vigilantes.” myles pointed out, patting his brother’s shoulder (the bean bag literally beside your bed).

you smiled at the two with light pigment on your cheeks, “i really wanna kiss you guys—“ you paused your sentence with embarrassment, realizing you were saying your thoughts out loud.

the two paused and looked at you, blinking, “eso es adorable, amor—“ “get out.”

“¿qué dijiste, amor?”

“i hate you guys. kill yourselves. espero que te resbales y te caigas en tu próxima misión.” you rolled your eyes and buried your face into your hands as the two twins looked at eachother.

“you don’t mean that, amor.” you groaned at the nickname the two labelled you. it made you want to giggle, twirl your hair and kick your feet like a schoolgirl.

you blushed when you felt an arm sneak around your neck, hugging you against your chair with their head beside your ear, “te gustamos los dos, ¿verdad, amor?”

god, you couldn’t choose between the two.

[name] when they keep getting teased and literally cannot deal with it.

[evilminji]

Back at it again with the BNHA crossover Ponderings!

Nedzu is LITERALLY one of THE smartest beings on the planet, right? Like... he's probably on some internationally recognized list of Top Planetary IQs? Which is why Japan let's him get away with so much?

Cause they REALLY fucked him over, he has the power to leave, and that would be really, REALLY bad Brain Drain wise/politically for the Japanese Government? (Also pls don't become a Supervillian we literally can not afford that, Mr. Nedzu Sir? Etc etc)

You think he has... like? Chats? With the OTHER top intellects? Some kid in Siberia with the New Super Intelligence Quirk his parents can't begin to even handle, gets put in history's WEIRDEST group chat? I like to think so.

But the REASON I ask this?

What hero do you call? For Weird Shit in international waters?

Suspicious, floating, weirdly two dimensional and HIGHLY radioactive... corrosive... green goop? Rings? Orbs? CAN it be an orb if it's two dimensional? It certainly LOOKS like there is depth to it... somehow...

A THING. In the sky.

Shouldn't be there, man. This is a shipping lane. It's scaring the people on passing ships. No one knows what Quirk could have made this. Might be a trafficking victim's call for help. Might be a first Quirk Use mishap. They need to know what it IS and how to get rid of it.

They go the normal routes first. Doesn't work. Okay, call in some professionals. Kinda pricey, but no big. Right? Doesn't work. Okaaaay, call in a SPECIALIST. REAL pricey, but this thing is holding up international trade, making people in fancy ass suit all Nervous(TM).

Doesn't Work.

Specialist tells um to not to bother with calling anyone else on their normal list. Is looking at the green goo like it spat on his mother and called his dog a whore. They would prefer he NOT make that facial expression. That is a facial expression that will get them yelled at by their bosses. Fuck(TM).

Now Politics(TM) are involved. People want to STUDY the green goo. Harness it for dubious and unknown green goo experiments. Poke it with their Quirk to see what'll happen. There's fuckin REPORTER with no concept of self-preservation, trying to get CLOSER to the RADIOACTIVE POISON GOO.

Fuckin Heros have shown up.

Why are you bastards even HERE. What? Are you peacocks gonna PUNCH it? Get off their rig! Stop posing in front of the GOO!

Then? Oh thank GOD. The SMART people show up. Certified, highest grade, triple refined, PREMIUM Nerds(TM). The WAY above our pay grade folks. We're SAVED! Can we PLEASE go home now? We are just ocean cleaners! Our job is debris! Not weird GOO!

Enter, stage Super Cool Helicopters? The Elite Nerds of Earth. Of which Nedzu is one. Since Japan is closest. And it's a school weekend! He had some time.

And?

Ha ha... Thanks, he hates it! Nedzu's stoat brain is SCREAMING and he wants NOTHING to do with...? What he is somehow CERTAIN is a floating pit of Death! Interesting effect. Anyone getting that or just him?

Then? Some hot head on loan to Korea from the states? Spots something. SomeONE. And does he TELL the newly arrived professionals? So they may do a risk assessment? Figure out a way to rescue this individual SAFELY? Of course not!

Said hot head has supposedly indescribable chains! So he just flings them rights on in! Grabbing the boy from the center of the portal, pulling him free, and in the process? Immediately destabilizing it. Causing it to collapse down towards everyone bellow.

He also then proceeds to DROP the young lad, in his alarm at this entirely predictable outcome.

Right. Into. The Ocean.

A boy, who is dressed in filthy medical scrubs, haunting familiar in a way nothing should EVER be again, and entirely unconscious. Plunge down into the briny deeps and bitter cold. Alone. Abandoned. Death, thick and viscous, losing form and raining down like bile.

Everyone saving themselves.

Ah, he rather liked this suit.

The salt water ruins it. The droplets of Green, burn like molten glass each time they touch him. He will likely have at least a few new scars, after today. Assuming this is not the end of him. But he swims fast. The boy sinking slower then his size would suggest he should. He grabs hold and arcs, dragging them both from beneath the fallout of yet another humans hubris.

He does not stop swimming. Not until he knows he is near the helicopter. He is thankful, that he dragged Aizawa along. The man takes one look at his serious expression, the state of his rescued young friend, and merely hauls them both out of the water and into the machine.

Time to go.

They saw nothing, it seems. And there is nothing to be found.

The boy does not wake. Not for quite a while. Long enough, that Nedzu, perhaps unwisely, has grown attached. Is considering adoption. If only too terrorize a few goverment bodies. And... well... the boy will need some who UNDERSTANDS. And the scars paint a very specific sort of tale. But first, the most important question, when beginning these things...

"Tea? Or would you prefer coffee?"

@the-witchhunter @mutable-manifestation @hypewinter @hdgnj

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt; weird Kryptonian bonding rituals.

“This just not how I expected to become a dad,” Lois mutters under her breath, putting her hands in her hair. “Seriously, I was going to get a Pulitzer first. How am I supposed to be a dad without a Pulitzer?!” 

“You were ever expecting to be a ‘dad’?” Jimmy asks, raising an eyebrow at her. Lois glares back at him. 

“You know what I mean, Jimmy!” she hisses. “A parent! Any kind of a parent!”

“What’s a Pulitzer?” Conner asks curiously. 

“The Pulitzer Prize!” Lois says, gesturing dramatically with both hands and starting to pace. “It’s one of the most distinguished awards in journalism! It’s been going since 1917! It’s a huge honor and a major achievement and–!”

“What’s it have to do with being a dad?” Conner interrupts, wrinkling his nose with a puzzled expression. Lois . . . pauses. 

“Um,” she says. 

“Probably nothing,” Jimmy says with a shrug. “Like. Almost definitely nothing.” 

“Then why’s it matter?” Conner asks, still looking puzzled. Lois puts both of her hands over her face. 

“Oh my god, I am my dad,” she says despairingly. “I think my career matters that much? Seriously?! Conner’s not gonna care if I have a Pulitzer or not if I’m a bad dad to get a Pulitzer! Oh my god, what am I doing with my life?!”

“Having a crisis, apparently,” Jimmy says. “And, like, some serious reprioritizing.” 

“I don’t think taking pride in your work is a ‘bad dad’ thing,” Clark says. Though having a kid is a reprioritizing-level situation, he thinks. Definitely when they’re a surprise kid. “That’s setting a good example for Conner, really. Just, you know . . . don’t ignore him to kidnap and illegally detain people because you think they might have something to do with a theoretical invasion, and I think you’ll probably be fine? Probably?” 

“Yeah, the invasion thing really seemed important to, like. Everybody who was working on me,” Conner says as he sneaks another honey bun. He’s adorable about it, so Clark doesn’t stop him. “They kinda suck, though, sooooo . . . I mean, I wouldn’t mind if you were gonna invade them a little. Just saying.” 

“No one’s doing any invading,” Clark says immediately, then feels awkward because, well, technically–“I mean, I don’t think anyone’s doing any invading. I’m not! I’m very much not doing any invading! Ever!”

“Are you sure?” Conner looks disappointed. 

“No alien invasions until you’re eighteen,” Lois says. “. . . or until we figure out how old you should count as being.”

Conner pouts. 

. . . they could probably invade just one dubiously-ethical lab, Clark thinks, if Conner really– 

“No, Clark,” Jimmy says. “I know that look, man. We don’t need any more angry government dudes or MIB-types after you, we’ve got enough of those already! Like, way too many!” 

“I think any is ‘too many’, in this case,” Lois says, looking sour.

[twoa-plus]

it’s 2:00am and this is more of a character thing than a genuine theory but *claps hands for the drama* same coin theory. what if both of the stans are bill

or like. a parallel to him. like i said this isn’t a super serious theory i’m mostly just back on my character analysis bs lol

so i haven’t gotten to talk abt this much but i am a firm believer in that there is not a superior stan. from a personality perspective this is obviously entirely subjective, but i mean that there isn’t a superior one when it comes to their objective traits and how useful they are

ford is. ford. i don’t really have to say anything here he’s super smart can play the piano or whatever etc etc. however one thing that i will say that i think is important here is that i am like. 99% sure this man has a higher tolerance to The Horrors than other humans do. dude spent 30 years in that portal and came out pretty much the same level of crazy, and we all saw what happened to fiddleford. i know fidds saw bill take off his exoskeleton or whatever but u can’t convince me that ford traveled the multiverse - with all sorts of monsters and non-3d dimensions and god knows what else - for 3 decades and didn’t see some shit that would make anybody else lose it. like at this point u could tell me this guy could have a casual conversation over tea with cthulu and be fine and i’d believe u

as for stan - and i mean this in the absolute best way possible i love this guy - he’s like the world’s most charismatic cockroach. he’s fantastic with people and just straight up refuses to die. for the first point i don’t just mean this in the conman way, when it comes to the people that actually matter stan always manages to win them over in some way or another (soos, wendy, the kids, ford, etc) and one does not simply survive for a decade on the street without needing the occasional favor from someone who actually likes you. “oh but rico-“ man when u’ve been living as a homeless criminal for a decade and the list of people that want to kill u consists of 1 person and the government u’ve done pretty damn well. anyways as for the cockroach point, he’s alive and has his memories. i don’t even have to say much here stan went through all of That, lived through the series itself including The Literal Apocalypse, metaphorically (something something people are just a collage of their life experiences) died at the end of it all and then came back to life. that’s hardcore as hell man. in a less literal interpretation of the “refusing to die” bit, he’s also just. insanely determined. the biggest example is ofc him never graduating highschool and yet teaching himself god knows how much math and science and whatnot over the course of 30 damn years because he just refuses to believe that he can’t save his brother. stan pines is a force of nature i swear

[additional note while im already ranting about this guy, im not a personal believer in the “stan is just as (academically) smart as ford” theory. first of all i feel like this entire theory is kind of rooted in the idea that he has to be/be on the same level as “the smart one” to have value, which is an idea that the stans’ entire backstory is based around criticizing, and i think stan has something just as if not more valuable than freakish intelligence - raw fucking grit. he wasn’t the one to open the portal back up because of some intellectual advantage, he was the one to open the portal back up because he wanted to, god damn it, and best of luck to you if you’re gonna try and stop him.]

anyways as for the same coin thing, everybody knows the stan part. his casual references to the impending apocalypse, “you’ve been buying gold, right?”, him being such a good conman, etc etc. while i’m already ranting about stan’s determination, bill’s got that too - he’s been trying for like thousands of years to take over the world and he just Won’t Stop. point is there’s a lot of character traits they share

(i know in the original same coin post a pretty major point is stan not making a deal with bill, but i think that could probably be pretty easily explained without the need for divine intervention. the only times bill makes a deal with someone without them summoning him first is after he’s kind of left on a loose end with gideon, and everyone knows stan wouldn’t fall for his lies in the first place)

bill also shares a lot of traits with ford, though. both have some kind of physical anomaly (bill’s eye & ford’s hands), both can see/understand things others of their species can’t, they’re both egomaniacs (listen i love ford but the guy has issues), etc. u could even argue that, at least at the time they meet, they have some kind of connection through their loneliness

so. with the theory of “bill was reincarnated to make up for what he did,” what if it wasn’t just stan? what if he was split in two, and his “reincarnation” is both of them? they’re flawed enough to make it a lot harder for either of them to take over the world (ford’s lack of social skills & stan’s lack of freakish academic knowledge), and they have something bill doesn’t - each other.

bill is alone. that’s his whole problem. he killed everyone he loved, treats everyone new he meets like shit, and now he’s Like That. throughout it all, the one thing the stans have always had - even if it was just in their memory - is each other. “oh but ford-“ shhhh. shhshhshshshhsh. shut up. ford has Problems but i genuinely don’t think he ever stopped loving stan. love is weird, first of all, and secondly he clearly never stopped trusting him. no matter what he might say about stan being a liar or a conman or whatever, who’s the one person he goes to when he’s forced to admit he needs help? ford is a weird guy and has an… odd way of showing it but he loves his family just like the rest of the pines and i will die on this hill

i’ve been writing this for over an hour straight and i think my brain is melting but i’m sure at this point u get the idea. both of the stans, together, serve as a parallel to bill, and the one thing they have that he doesn’t is love. that’s what killed him.

something something killing an interdimensional dream demon with the power of friendship and this gun i found

[illamda-spaminations]

I find it so interesting that during the Twisted Hearts OP, when the song goes "I feel you sins all the time", they showed Mycroft and Albert respectively. While Mycroft does not understand/know everything that's going on with the LOC and Moriarty & co., I do believe he understands how Albert feels, especially about taking the punishment on himself.

For example: This scene in MTP, post-Final problem

He understands because he knows Albert and, more importantly, he has been there, it's just the circumstances and the consequences of the decision is very different. The reason he dedicated his life to working for the government was because of his father's involvement in the French Revolution. He wanted to repent on behalf of him, so he decided to take on that punishment, protecting Sherlock in the process. Albert does something very similar, he takes on the atonement so Louis doesn't have to. He believes Louis deserves so much more than punishment; he deserves a fulfilling life, a happy one, or at least as happy as it can get, and above all, the one who should reap the crops William sown [I should REALLY make a separate post on Louis ye gods-].

Mycroft could've let the Moriarty brothers do what they saw fit, as long as he was spared from the brutality, but instead he threatens them. If they don't put the country's future and prosperity first, Mycroft will personally "annihilate" him [his words not mine].

This scene really goes to show that Mycroft is genuinely dedicated to the Empire, he is very intent to serve for the country's future, but it's not blind loyalty, it's him being bound to it, it's the least he could do to make up for his father's sins [sins of the father am I right?] and it's the same for Albert. He and Mycroft love their younger brothers, to the point of sacrificing themselves in order to protect them, to make sure they live as they please, free of guilt. The difference is that Mycroft changed over time, he started to loosen up. The first time we see him outside of his office for non-work related matters was with meeting everyone in the dinner party. And for Albert? Time stopped turning entirely. The moment he entered the tower was the moment he couldn't go back. It was him, his thoughts and the messages from Mycroft to distract him. The only person who could convince him to come out of his prison and start living was William; because William's actions, sins, guilt and will to die was the very reason why Albert chose his punishment.

In comparison, Mycroft's self enforced punishment was lighter to Albert's. While Mycroft has to deal with constant stress [this is not really canon, but considering that he's referred to as the government, yeaaaaa I think he's gonna be stressed af] and grief, Albert had to deal with a spiral towards insanity, grief, religious guilt for the Moriarty plan and his compulsive thoughts. And he's sure as hell isn't going to stand on his own for a while after that.

Another thing [this time it's actually related to my point :0] is exactly when the two show up. Mycroft shows up around the lyrics "I feel your sins" while albert shows up around "all the time", which further proves my point. Since Sherlock and William showing up around the point of "I can't feel your love but I can give you love" basically describes Sherlock's goal of saving William and their relationship in a nutshell.

"I don't know if you see me as a friend but I'll see you like that anyway, and save you, just like what I would do to another friend."

What's not to say the same can be true to Mycroft and Albert?

"I can never truly understand what you are going through, but I will always understand how you feel."

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

I rewatched the first Sonic movie the other night (for like the 20th time haha)

And out of many things I love, it's both amusing and adorable to just watch Tom's thought process and perception of Sonic slowly change over the course of the movie.

So I "wasted" my time and wrote out what I believe was basically that entire mental process from Tom's POV. Enjoy. 🤣

AAAAAHH WEIRD CREATURE IN MY GARAGE

Whoaa, it's the Blue Devil, he's real

It's an alien, aliens are real??

Ok he seems nonthreatening, better save his life at least

How the heck is this thing a hedgehog he looks nothing like one

Okkkk, this is getting too weird, rings and mushroom planets and aliens too much, time to go back to reality

Great, he's guilt tripping me now, guess we're going to San Francisco, what the heck am I doing

Geez he never stops talking this is annoying

I think he has ADHD is that possible for aliens

Oh. I think he's a kid

Aw man. Kid just wants to have his last bit of fun before he leaves the planet. Well, who am I to take away his last chance to?

This kid is weird but like in a sweet way?

Very energetic, noted. The hotel staff are gonna get mad.

Oh my word he's asleep that was fast, guess that saying "out like a light" was true, he's almost cuter when he's asleep, better tuck him in a bit so he doesn't get cold

Now he thinks we're best friends uhh what do I do

Oh dang he's mad OH WHOA LIGHTNING EMOTION POWERS??

No no no no no no no no no no can't let him get hurt he just got hurt gotta help him can't let him die I at least need to bring him safely to his rings

MADDIE HELP

Maddie pls save him he's my little buddy now

OH THANK GOD HE'S AWAKE GOOD GOOD YES HAPPY

So good to hear him jabbering away again, that's actually really cute

Yes Maddie he goes fast this is normal and also we agreed to let him drive Rachel's car on purpose

I don't want to say goodbye to this kid but I have to let him go now

DANGER DANGER WHY DID HE JUST PUSH US OFF A ROOF

No no nope no no no he's hurt again what do I do OH HIS RINGS!!!

PROTECTIVE MODE ACTIVATED, PUNCH THE GOVERNMENT WEIRDO THIS KID IS UNDER MY PROTECTION YOU BETTER WATCH IT

*weeping inwardly when he thought he was dead*

YES YES YES HE'S ALIVE AND HE'S GOT ALL HIS COOL POWERS AND NOW IT'S TIME TO GET EVERYONE OUT OF THE WAY TO LET HIM HANDLE THIS!!!

YEAHHH YOU SHOW 'IM, BUDDY!!!

WE'RE GONNA WORK TOGETHER AND SEND THIS IDIOT TO THAT PLANET YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO

Oh my goodness he's so excited just because I wanted to high five him that's so sweet

Hahahaha, inside jokes

Yeah actually I'm keeping this kid, he's mine now

No, US government, you can't have him

Yay Maddie wants him too!

WAIT I HAVE A KID NOW

[penny00dreadful]

Comeuppance - Part 2 - Complete

Part 1 AO3

Dustin scoffed in offence. “I’m smarter than you, you know.”

“I know,” Eddie said through only slightly gritted teeth, “but that doesn’t mean you’re a grown up. You're sure you have all the relevant information? You know everything there is to know and there's no way this could go wrong?” 

The little shit was gonna have to learn one way or the other that he couldn't keep sticking his nose in where it didn't belong.

Teenager or not it was going too far and Eddie had fucking enough of it. These kids had spent so long crash landing in government affairs and coming out unscathed, they seemed to think they were invincible. They seemed to think that consequences didn’t exist for them. 

They seemed to think consequences couldn’t exist for them.

Well.

Time for a fucking lesson, kiddos.

Dustin looked at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world. “Of course I do.”

“Alright.” Eddie nodded, turning back to his trailer and pulling himself back up onto the roof. “If you’re sure. Now scram. I gotta get back to my sunbathing.”

He watched them all grumble, somehow believing themselves the smartest kids alive but somehow missing the barely concealed beemer, hiding behind Eddie’s van.

“Those little fuckers are getting too big for their damn boots, I swear to god.” Eddie seethed, flopping back down next to Steve who had been trying to keep his laughs silent this whole time. 

“I think they just want what’s best.” Steve smiled over at him, brushing Eddie’s bangs out of his face while Eddie huffed.

“There’s a way to go about that and when the people in question have told them repeatedly to stop meddling, it no longer becomes wanting what’s best, it becomes wanting to be right.”

“They’re young.”

“Yes, they’re young but they’re not stupid. Or ignorant. They’re young but they’re not fucking toddlers who can’t understand why mommy and daddy aren’t living together anymore. And I refuse to continue to let them act like that. It’s borderline sociopathic.”

“Okay, I think that’s going a bit far-”

“Is it? Is it, Stevie? Really?” Eddie rolled his head to the side and plucked the joint from Steve’s mouth. “They don’t care about your feelings on this matter, nor do they care about Nancy’s. You heard them, they hadn’t even considered whether she even wanted you back. Like she was just some cardboard cutout in the shape of a woman who’d go wherever they lead. Have they even met her?”

He looked back up at the bright blue sky, a few dusty clouds drifting past and took a large inhale, holding it deep into his lungs, hoping it would help to chill him out, but it was doing nothing for him. 

“And they’re walking all over you and your feelings. What you might want wasn’t considered and it doesn’t sound like it’s going to be considered. I’m just fucking sick of seeing it. It’s not happening. Not anymore. Not on my watch.”

Eddie continued to huff and puff, quite literally, in the silence that came after, glaring at the passing clouds like this was all their fault. He just couldn't believe the audacity of these kids, acting like Steve or Nancy weren't even sentient, just pieces to be moved on a chessboard.

He was still sulking and rigid and probably steaming out of his ears when he felt a hand on the side of his face. His head was tugged to the side and then Steve’s mouth was on his in a kiss so gentle and chaste and sweet, in stark contrast to how firmly Steve was now gripping the back of his head to keep him close. Every inch of tension immediately melted from his body.

“You’re so good to me.”

“I-” Eddie could only breathe out, a little dazed. “I’m really not. It’s just basic decency, to be honest.”

“Okay, then you’re basically decent to me.”

“I try my best.”

“My knight in shining armour.”

“I’m never the knight.”

“Well you are now. And you are to me. Always have been.”

Eddie blinked at him, sure that Steve could feel the thudding of his heart through his neck. Given the way he was nuzzling his nose into Eddie’s pulse and brushing his lips against his skin with small little kitten licks, he probably could.

Steve moved up, hovering right over Eddie’s ear. “And how does my knight feel about getting his dick sucked?”

“Pretty- pretty good. Yeah, pretty good.” He stuttered out, breathy and oh so eager.

“Good. But you’re gonna have to get down off this roof first.”

Eddie's descent was far less controlled this time, he nearly fell on his ass in his mad scramble to get back inside and into his bedroom, Steve following slowly with a lazy grin on his face.

Both Steve and Eddie knew that they had to strike before Dustin was able to do anything and potentially fuck everything up. 

The first person they brought in was Robin, though that was less of a calculated move and more that she could tell just by looking at Steve that something was brewing. 

He and Steve were supposed to be waiting for Nancy’s arrival at the trailer before they breathed a word but Robin had barely taken a step inside before it was all out in the open. 

So now the three of them were waiting for Nancy, Jonathan and Argyle to turn up.

The six of them had a weekly standing date on Sunday evenings to chill the fuck out and while Eddie would have preferred to smoke the fuck up, Robin hated smoking of any kind.

And the smell stuck to everything. 

So instead they usually ate the fuck up.

Argyle had taken it upon himself to be the resident weed baker of the group and he, Nancy and Jonathan usually arrived together.

It was kind of hilarious how the kids had never considered that the older teens talked regularly and therefore, that Eddie could spill their secret plan.

He was pretty sure the kids thought they all just sat at home alone, twiddling their thumbs and waiting around for the kids to call them up for the next get together or when they needed a ride.

Like they didn't have their own lives, or their own connections. 

Like they needed the kids around to even see each other casually.

It wasn’t exactly like the six of them were the best of friends and Eddie’s trailer was definitely too small to host all of them, but they made it work. 

It was the best place to meet up. Nancy, Jonathan and Argyle each lived with one of the kids in the Party. The kids called around unannounced to Steve’s house all the damn time, which was another thing Eddie needed to talk to him about. And Robin’s parents would have inevitably ended up eating some of their brownies, whether they knew what was in them or not, Eddie couldn’t say. But he didn’t want to take the risk.

The trailer was still a risk. Max and Eddie’s trailers were close enough together that she could easily see them all coming and going and she had. 

Eddie knew she had.

She’d been outside feeding the neighbours dog once when they’d all arrived. 

The rest hadn’t noticed, but Eddie had seen her look directly at them.

He’d been on edge for days afterwards, expecting to be chewed out by Dustin or Mike or any of them for ever dare thinking that they could hang out without the kids, but the bitch-fest never came.

He’d sent her a questioning look when it became clear she hadn’t said anything and she’d just glared at him, like he was being stupid to even ask if she’d spilled the ‘secret’ that shouldn’t even have to be kept a secret.

Well, okay then.

Immediate respect and trust gained there.

By the time the other three were pulling up in front of the trailer, Robin was pissed the fuck off.

Turned out, last time Dustin had tried to shove her and Steve together she’d snapped at him, bitching him out for guiltless manipulation and she had thought she had gotten through to him, considering he didn’t try again.

But now it was obvious he had just set his sights elsewhere.

Eddie had opened his front door, gesturing Nancy, Jonathan and Argyle in with a wide sweep of his arm and a smile. Nancy had barely opened her mouth to greet all of them when Robin stopped her pacing and declared to the newcomers “I’m mad!”

Nancy closed her mouth and blinked. “Okay.” She said slowly. “Who are we mad at?”

“The children.” Robin answered with a twisted up face. “Little fucking gremlins.”

Jonathan sighed, pulling six plates down from their cupboard in the kitchen where he and Argyle were dividing out a Tupperware container of brownies.

“What did they do this time?”

“They’re meddling little fucking…” Robin stood in front of Eddie’s couch, blowing a raspberry through her lips, trying to find the right words. “Meddlers.”

“Very articulate there, Birdie.” Steve smirked.

“Don’t talk to me right now, Harrington.” She pointed at him. “I’m mad on your behalf.”

“Alright, alright.” Jon walked forward with two plates, handing one off to Steve and then Robin. “Why don’t we chill out first,” he said to her, gently, “and then you can give us all the details.”

“I think we’re gonna need to work out the details before we have any of these.” Eddie said, picking up his own plate with a delicious looking brownie complete with rainbow sprinkles and settling himself on the floor against Steve’s legs, who was up on the couch.

“We can pause the brownies for a few, my dudes.” Argyle smiled, dropping to the ground, right next to Eddie. “No rush, they’ll keep.”

Nancy folded herself down into the couch on one side of Steve where Robin threw herself down on the other side, nearly taking Eddie out with her knee and accidentally driving her elbow into Steve’s side.

“I did nothing to you!” He squawked, jabbing her back.

“When do you not do something to me?” She retaliated, reaching for his hair. Steve grabbed her by the wrist and Eddie knew if he didn’t put a stop to this now, they’d never get back on track.

Between the four of them, Eddie, Nancy, Jon and Argyle had all learned the only way to break up a squabbling match between Steve and Robin was to make a sudden loud noise and the two of them would startle like cats.

At one point each of them had attempted to get in the middle instead but that only led to them getting caught in the crossfire.

He put two fingers in his mouth, pushing his tongue back and whistling so loud it set off the Murphy family’s dog outside.

Steve and Robin jumped back as if they’d been shocked but Eddie didn’t give them a chance to protest.

“Back to your original question, Jonathan.” Eddie continued on, even though he felt a short petulant little tug at one of his curls. He was pretty sure it was Steve pouting, but it could have been Robin as well, he didn’t know. He was already turned away. “They are attempting to set Steve up with someone. Again.”

Jonathan and Nancy practically rolled their eyes into the back of their heads. They’d heard it all before, they’d been there for the rants even before Eddie had joined the group. Argyle just smiled, looking between Eddie and Steve.

“That seems unnecessary. Unless you two are looking for a third to which I say more power to you, broskies. But should you be involving a child?”

“We’re not looking for a third, Argyle.” Steve’s hands were idly playing with Eddie’s hair. “The kids don’t know we’re together, remember? The children are involving themselves.”

Eddie nodded, leaning back a little against the grip and trying to get Steve to start scratching him.

“So tell the little dude you’re happy being single.”

“Tried that. Didn’t work. Henderson is convinced that everyone needs to be paired off to be happy. And there’s no convincing him otherwise once he thinks he’s right.”

“Who’s he trying to set you up with?” Nancy asked, turning to Steve.

“You, actually.”

Her eyebrows disappeared underneath her bangs. “Me?”

“Yeah,” Steve nodded. “Exactly. Says we’re perfect for each other.”

Nancy scoffed. “In what universe?”

Steve shrugged. 

“We tried that already and it didn’t work out. How is Dustin hypothesising that it will work out this time around?”

Eddie turned, throwing his arm across Steve’s thigh to lean on. “I think he’s been a bit mind melted by movies and tv shows. And I think Mrs. H reads those romance novels. I mean, the two of you are the stereotypical couple and it always works out for them, so why couldn’t it for you?”

“Oh, I don’t know?” Nancy scowled, throwing a hand up in exasperation. “Maybe because I’ve blown up the two romantic relationships I’ve had with people in this room? Because I haven’t been able to be soft since 1983? Because I don’t know who I am outside of monster hunting anymore and being single and fucking off to college is the best way to find that out?”

“And because of this one.” Steve put in, giving Eddie a light tap on the head that he frowned at.

“And because of that one.” Nancy conceded, tapping him on the head as well.

“Okay, so what are we doing about it?” Jonathan asked from Argyle’s side.

Eddie sat up a little straighter. “I have a plan.”

Steve tugged on a lock of Eddie’s hair again. “He has a plan.”

“Well, okay then." Nancy's face told him she was already taking minutes in her head. "Fill us in.”

“Telling the kids to stop isn’t working. Hasn’t been working. So we’re gonna make them stop. Act like we don’t know this is going on behind our backs. Frustrate the shit out of him when it doesn’t work and when he starts to escalate, which we know he will, then we strike. Because we don’t know exactly what he has planned yet, we can’t make any solid plans ourselves. We need to be malleable. We need to be able to change tactics for whatever they come up with.”

“So for now, what? You want us to just go along with it whenever he…” Nancy cast her eyes around, trying to think. “Whenever he locks us into a closet or something?”

“For now, yeah.” Eddie nodded. “You don’t have to act like it’s working, just pretend you don’t know what’s going on. Stay friends. It’ll piss him the fuck off. And when he starts to get more dramatic about it, then we do too.”

“And how will we find out he’s getting more drastic?”

Eddie grinned, holding up the walkie talkie. “They’re very smart kids, but they’re not very clever. They seem to think they’re the only ones who know how to use these. They conspire all the time on them.”

Steve nodded. “They switch stations.”

“They switch between the same two stations and always announce it before they do because they want to stick to ‘proper protocol.’”

“Okay but here's the thing…” Steve dug his fingers into Eddie’s hair and Eddie could tell it was a need for touch, a self soothing motion that had driven it, so he tipped his head to the side, resting his cheek on Steve’s knee and giving him more access. He could feel Steve winding his curls around his fingers, almost nervous. “I think one last opportunity for them to back off wouldn’t go amiss. Just before we start fucking with them. It would make me feel better.”

Eddie exhaled, his body slumping back into Steve’s grip. He’d love to say no. He’d love to tell Steve that there was no fucking need. The kids had opportunity after opportunity to stop. They’d been told so many times that this was none of their business and to stop sticking their nose where it didn’t belong.

But he could never say no to Steve. If it was something that would make Steve more comfortable with the whole thing, Eddie would give it to him.

“Okay. One last chance for them to back off.” He conceded. “But when they don’t listen, then we move forward.”

“You know what helps with brainstorming, my friends?” Argyle lifted his plate into the air with a giant smile on his face. “Brownies.”

Eddie was pretty sure brownies and Little Shop of Horrors wouldn’t be the big help Argyle thought it would be but he was a little too wound up at the moment and needed to relax. 

“Okay,” Eddie nodded. “Brownies. Little Shop of Horrors. Scheming.” He picked his own brownie up and took a giant bite.

Under different circumstances, trying to purposefully destroy the plans of a fifteen year old and make sure they failed would feel downright scummy. But under these circumstances it was kinda satisfying.

Dustin had decided to fuck with Eddie’s man again. After repeatedly being told to stop. So the kid dug his own grave, really. He’d been given plenty of chances. Steve had tried his best to convince the kid he was happy where he was in life and if the little defeated slump to Steve’s shoulders was anything to go by, it hadn’t worked.

So if the kid wanted to fuck with his man, he’d get fucked with in return.

Plus it wasn’t like Dustin couldn’t have figured out what the two of them were by now. They’d slipped up a few times and the kid had nearly walked in on them once or twice.

But watching Dustin get more and more irritated when Steve and Nancy only continued to be friendly together was ridiculously enjoyable. Especially as he watched Dustin practically force them together, no matter the clear signals the two were giving off that they didn’t exactly want to be stuck together, away from everyone else in the cinema.

Eddie sat next to Dustin with popcorn on his lap, giggling away as he watched Steve a few rows down, shift uncomfortably in his seat.

They’d seen this movie already. Gone on a date here only last week and Steve had told him after that he couldn’t remember a single thing about it, forever only being able to associate this movie with the feeling of Eddie’s mouth on him in the back of the dark and empty room. 

Now he practically snorted out loud, earning a glare from Dustin. He retaliated by firing another piece of popcorn at Dustin’s head and  continued to watch Steve uncross and cross his legs again while Nancy gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

“He told me ‘alcohol is a social lubricant, it shouldn’t be that hard.’” Eddie repeated, raising his voice over the din at The Hideout and making air quotes with his fingers.

Steve nodded, not really paying attention to what Eddie was saying apart from staring at his lips like he couldn’t wait to devour them, but that was to be expected.

Eddie had just come off stage after fingering and thrusting and grinding into his guitar for a full hour, Steve’s eyes glued to him the entire time while Nancy, Jonathan, Argyle and Robin all chatted amongst themselves. The four of them all knew that trying to draw Steve’s attention away when his boyfriend was playing on stage was a lost cause.

Usually Eddie and Steve hung around for a polite amount of time afterward but it was never that long. Nothing got Steve more horned up than Eddie performing on stage and if they didn’t want a quick and dirty in the bathroom or the back of Eddie’s van then they needed to get back to a bed before Steve snapped and tackled him wherever they happened to be.

Road head had happened more than once when Steve’s patience was worn particularly thin. Not that Eddie was complaining. 

Eddie always made sure to park his van in the shadows of The Hideout, never quite sure when Steve would lose the run of himself and press him into the nearest surface, the two of them thriving off the risk.

Maybe the Upside Down had fucked with them a little more than they were willing to admit.

Eddie had Steve in his lap, exactly where he needed to be. The only place he ever needed to be. Sitting in the driver's seat of his van, Steve’s hands in his hair and his tongue in his mouth, digging so deep it was like he was trying to taste his stomach acid. His body was bouncing up and down in these tiny little movements, humping himself against Eddie’s body and using him like a pillow in between his legs to chase his own pleasure and god Eddie loved it.

He loved being used by Steve, just as much as he loved taking care of him, gently whispering to him as he cried out his own release, kissing away his tears or turning him into a hazy mess by keeping him on edge for as long as he could handle it.

He loved it. He loved him and if he was good right now, Steve would give him the orgasm of his life once they got home.

Which is why the two of them groaned in frustration, breaking their kiss with great heaving breaths when the walkie crackled from the passenger seat.

“Kas, this is Dart. We are still waiting on an update. Over.”

Eddie shook his head, trying to pull Steve’s lips back to his own. “Ignore him baby, ignore him.”

Steve shook his own head leaning back a little further. “We can’t ignore him, he’ll just keep going until he’s answered.”

Eddie slumped down in his seat, well aware his over exaggerated pout was probably a little on the ridiculous side.

Steve pouted with him, a little mocking, a little mean and he gave Eddie a kiss on the top of his nose.

“Hellooo? Kas?” Dustin sing-songed. “Kas. Earth to Kas. Oooover.”

“Answer the walkie. Tell him I was too busy watching you and I’ll bend you over the bathroom sink. Right in front of the mirror, just like you wanted.”

"You mean just like you wanted."

"Yeah." Steve leaned in, practically breathing over Eddie's lips as he growled out. "Just like I wanted."

All of the air left Eddie’s lungs in one fell swoop, one big whoosh, like he’d been punched (in a good way).

He kept eye contact with Steve, completely powerless to tear his gaze away as he fumbled blindly for the walkie and brought it closer to his face.

“Kas to Dart.” Eddie responded, swallowing, trying to get his breathing back in check, Steve’s gaze burning into his own. “Plan’s a bust. Sorry.” He paused for a second, almost forgetting what the kid was waiting for. “Over.”

The answer was immediate. “A bust?! How could it have been a bust?! Did you make them sit together? Over.”

“Yeah.” Eddie nodded, still trapped in honey-brown eyes. “They sat together. Over.”

“Were they drinking? Did you make sure they were talking? Did you play, like, love songs like I told you to? Over.”

Well. 

If the way Steve had been looking at him as he played Grinder and Hell Bent For Leather, rolling his hips against his guitar and getting borderline indecent on stage was anything to go by… they were certainly a type of love song.

“Yep. Over.”

“Then what the fuck went wrong?! Over!”

Eddie shifted in his seat, trying to adjust so he was a tad more comfortable. It was a completely innocent movement, or it was supposed to be, but Steve’s eyes fluttered for just a second and his mouth pressed thin, trying to keep any noise from spilling out. 

Eddie’s lips slid up into a smirk and that was probably the reason he was so flippant with his next answers.

“Dunno, Dart. Maybe I was shredding too hard. Stevie boy couldn’t keep his eyes off me. Over.”

“Jesus Christ Kas, that’s the exact opposite of what we wanted! Over.”

“Yeah well, I gotta go. I think I can hear Stevie coming.”

He didn’t even bother to say ‘over’, but he could hear Dustin’s scream of indignation in the second before he switched the walkie off.

He tossed it into the back of the van before all but bodily throwing Steve into the passenger seat and turning the key in the engine.

“Jesus Christ, Eddie.” Steve muttered, adjusting himself until he was more comfortably sitting. “Give a guy some warning.”

“Sorry baby.” Eddie said, peeling out of the car park. “I’m needed in front of a bathroom mirror.”

“Eddie, we need you to flirt with Nancy.”

Okay.

Okay.

So not only was this kid trying to fuck with his man, now this kid was trying to manipulate his man by bringing in some competition? He was, in his own mind, trying to get Eddie to lead Nancy on? And Eddie was just supposed to be cool with that?

Because even if all of the older teens knew that Nancy wouldn’t believe a single flirtatious word that came out of Eddie’s mouth for multiple reasons, Dustin didn’t.

Dustin was willing to take the risk that Nancy might catch feelings or that Eddie might or that Steve could end up jealous and hurt or that neither Nancy or Eddie caught feelings and it was just awkward all around. Awkward and probably friendship destroying.

This was the fucking escalation he knew was coming.

No time for an older teens meeting now, Eddie would have to hope they’d just play along until he could implement as many DM skills into Dustin’s downfall as Steve would allow.

“Hey Nance.” Eddie greeted her, putting his back to Henderson and trying to ham it up as much as possible. Nancy was smart. She’d get that something was going on. “I'm glad you decided to come today. Don't know what I would've done if I had to go without seeing your pretty face for much longer."

He could feel the silence that descended over Steve and Robin but he didn’t dare turn, knowing Henderson’s eyes were tracking every micro movement. Though out of the corner of his eye he could see the amusement in Steve’s eyes as he watched his boyfriend attempt to fake-flirt with his ex-girlfriend.

Eddie grimaced a little at the bewildered look on Nancy’s face and he circled his index fingers around each other, silently telling her to go with it.

She gave him an almost imperceptible nod. Thank god for that.

“Just a pretty face?” She asked, blinking rapidly.

“Oh, of course not, Lady Wheeler. Everyone knows you’re more than just a pretty face.”

Nancy grabbed his arm, giving it a little squeeze almost as if to say well done.

“Dunno if I could say the same thing about you.”

Eddie pulled out one of his oldest flirting moves, clutching at his heart and stumbling back a few steps. “Oh! The Lady Wheeler has wounded me most grievously!”

Steve rolled his eyes so hard his whole head moved.

Eddie didn’t think Robin had blinked this whole time. Or closed her mouth.

“Oh, stop it, you.” Nancy swatted at his arm. “You’re still pretty.”

Eddie gave her a little pout. How sweet.

He could practically hear Dustin grinding his teeth behind him and he thought he could freak the kid out even more. Even if that meant breaking one of his own rules.

“Would you care to join us?” Eddie asked, sweeping his arm out towards the table where the rest of the Party who were all staring, fucking flabbergasted. 

“I’ve heard this arena of play isn’t unfamiliar to you.” He continued, lowering his voice and leaning in close to Nancy but still loud enough for everyone to hear. “I’ve even heard you used to get into costume for the kiddies. You into a bit of roleplay, Nancy?”

Steve gave Eddie a look, motioning him to dial it the fuck back. Which was definitely fair. If he had been anyone else other than Eddie at that moment Nancy would have probably kicked him in the nuts. And the glare that told him exactly that would happen if he didn’t slow down.

Steve had a little frown on his face and Eddie knew he’d be making it up to him tonight, at least until his jaw started to get really sore.

So he left her off with a wink that was directed at Steve more than her, seating himself behind his DM screen and trying not to smile at the looks all the kids were giving him.

“Did you have fun?” Steve asked him from the couch.

Eddie hung up the phone, having just spent the last twenty minutes talking to Nancy, listening to her attempt to gush about him to him, all the while making sure that Mike was in earshot.

“Mhm.” Eddie smiled, practically skipping over to Steve’s side and throwing himself down in his lap. “I’ve never been so flattered before in my life.”

Steve hummed, running his hands up Eddie’s thighs, bringing them around to tuck into his back pockets and pulling him forward until they were pressed together. “Do I not compliment you enough?”

“I don’t know.” Eddie shrugged, trying to keep his air of nonchalance as Steve began to nose up his neck. “Why don’t you remind me?”

“Why don’t you tell me what the competition is first?”

Eddie lifted his hips, just a little, to take the pressure off, to tease, even as he gripped at Steve’s shoulders and leaned back. He loved the feeling of Steve holding tight to him. Loved knowing that Steve would never let him fall, no matter how far back he went. Loved when Steve would pull him back down with an aggressive yank.

He leaned forward, coming to a stop just a hair's breadth away from Steve’s mouth.

“Operation White Picket Fence, sound off.”

Eddie slumped down in Steve’s hold.

“The timing on these fucking kids, I swear to god.”

“This is a Code Orange, I repeat this is a Code Orange. Over.”

Steve kissed his cheek with a smile. “You and Nance made that call knowing you were gonna get a reaction. What did you expect?”

Eddie shrugged. “I dunno. Ten more minutes?”

“You think we would’ve been done in ten minutes?” Steve asked with raised eyebrows.

“If we wanted to be.”

“Yeah, but did you want to be?”

“No.” Eddie sighed. “No, I didn’t want to be.”

“Okay, let’s switch to our backup channel just in case he checks in. Over.”

“See this is what I’m talking about.” Eddie reached over to grab the walkie, relishing in the feeling of Steve’s big hands keeping him steady. “These little shits think they’re the only people who could possibly be listening in. Think they’re the smartest fuckers in the world.” He turned the dial on the walkie, tuning into the kids super-secret backup channel. “This is practically how you all intercepted the Russians.”

"We'll tell Kas to stop. Maybe get him to start talking up Babysitter instead. Over."

"I don't want to see my s-Emerson get hurt over this, Bard. Besides, Kas is way better than Babysitter anyway. Over."

“Oh, now they’re worried about someone getting hurt? That’s rich.” Eddie scoffed.

“And Mike’s letting his crush on you slip again.”

“Uh, pretty sure his whole deal is because he has a crush on you, sweetheart.”

"But they're not meant to be! And Kas doesn’t even like her like that! Babysitter and Emerson are meant to be! We'll just have to regroup. Start pushing them harder or something. Over!"

“Is he fucking serious?” Eddie jumped up out of Steve’s lap and stormed over to the phone. “Fine, if the kid wants another escalation, I’ll show him a fucking escalation.”

He snatched the phone off the wall, punching in the Henderson home number. It only took a few rings before it was picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mrs. Henderson. It’s Eddie-”

“Oh hello, Eddie dear. How are you?”

Steve left the walkie on the couch, where they could still hear it in the background and made his way towards Eddie, leaning on the wall next to him.

Eddie tipped the phone away from his ear, holding it between the two of them so they both could hear.

“I’m doing just dandy, Mrs. H. Thanks for asking. Hey, is Dustin in? I gotta talk to him about some campaign notes.”

“Let me go grab him for you, he’s just in his room.”

“Thanks.”

Eddie listened as the phone was gently set down and watched Steve watch him, quirking his eyebrow in question, asking what’s the plan?

Eddie just shook his head and rolled his eyes, telling Steve without saying it out loud that he was fucking done with this shit.

“Hello?” Dustin’s voice was already half accusatory

Eddie smiled, ready to put on a whole body performance and maybe trying to piss the kid off, just a little. “Hey Dusty-Buns.”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“But it’s so fun!” Eddie was already waving his hands around. “Listen, I need to talk to you about this whole Nancy and Steve thing-”

“Good, because I need to talk to you about it too. You gotta dial it back, man.”

Eddie paused, even going so far as to put a confused look on his face. “What do you mean?”

“You’re getting in too deep with her, you’re starting to pull her attention away from Steve and that was not a part of the plan.”

“Yeah.” He sighed, chewing his lip. “I’m not sure if I can really do that…”

“Wha- why? Why, Eddie, why?!”

“I dunno, man.” Eddie shrugged, taking Steve’s hand in his and meeting his eyes. “I kinda like her.”

“No! Nonononono! You can’t like her! You’re not allowed to like her, why do you like her?!”

Not allowed?

Not allowed?

Who the fuck did this kid think he was?

“What do you mean I’m not allowed?” Eddie glared down at the phone. “And as for why, have you met her? You used to have a crush on her!”

“Yeah, when I was a child, you can’t be serious about this, Eddie.”

“I’m super serious about this, Dustin.” Eddie spat back, giving Steve’s hand a little squeeze. “I like her. I want to ask her out.”

“Jesus Christ this was not part of the plan!”

“And I didn’t want to be a part of the plan from the start!” Eddie decided to remind him because apparently the kid had forgotten. “You forced me into it! I told you it wouldn’t work.”

“It will work. It still can work! We're still doing this whether you like it or not. I’ll see you at Steve’s tomorrow. Don’t do anything stupid in the meantime!”

“Dust-!”

Eddie stared open mouthed at the phone, the sound of Dustin slamming it back down ringing through the kitchen.

“That little fucking-” he took the neck of the phone in both hands, squeezing and shaking it, “-demogorgon!”

Steve pried the receiver from his hands, placing it gently back in its cradle.

“Guys. Things just got so much worse. We need to come up with a new plan before tomorrow.”

“So,” Steve drew the word out with a hand at Eddie’s back, “clearly he’s not getting the message.” 

Eddie sighed, resting his elbow on Steve’s shoulder and rubbing his eyes. “No, he’s not getting the message.”

“Well,” Steve nodded, picking the phone back up and beginning to dial. “It seems it’s time for the final act, then.”

Robin was pacing up and down in front of Steve’s couch.

“I’m nervous!” She said, grabbing at her hair.

“Why are you nervous?” Eddie asked, tracking her with his eyes from his position across the room. Nancy was sitting beside him, barely checked in, using any spare time she had to go over her flash cards for college, even though she didn’t start for another couple of weeks. They’d asked her if she wanted to put a stop to this, give her the freedom to stress just about college, rather than college and this but she’d just glared at all of them.

“You don’t even have to do anything.” Eddie continued.

“Yeah, but I have to be here. I don’t have the acting chops for this.” She pointed at him. “You know that. You remember what happened in Much Ado.”

“That wasn’t that bad.”

“I knocked over the wall during your gulling! You were supposed to be eavesdropping while badly hidden and then boom!” She smacked her hands together. “The garden hedges suddenly collapsed because I tripped over my own feet!”

“Oh, it was fine.” Eddie waved his hand. “No one noticed.”

“Everyone noticed! And it was fine because you played it off! I wasn’t even supposed to be on stage!”

“Birdie.” Steve grabbed her by the shoulders and steered her towards the couch, pushing her down. “You’re going to be fine because you’re going to sit there and say nothing.”

Robin huffed. “It’s impossible for me to say nothing, you know that.”

“I know, that’s why I got you this.” He plucked a lollipop from the coffee table, handing it to her. “When you hear them coming, stick that in your mouth. If you start to talk it’ll remind you to not talk. Just concentrate on that.”

She stared at the lollipop then looked back at Steve. “You’re giving me a pacifier.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“You know, there’s something to be said here about a man telling a woman to sit down and shut up. I’m only giving you a pass because it’s you.” She scowled, even as she took a seat.

“Wow, thanks Rob.” Steve rolled his eyes and patted her head. “Now you just sit there and look pretty.”

She fired the lollipop at him and he caught it with a raised arm, barely even trying and Eddie wanted to climb him like a tree.

Steve threw it back and even though it landed gently in her lap, she still attempted to catch it with flailing limbs like she was trying to deflect an arrow.

"Look alive." Nancy tucked her flash cards back into her purse and glanced out the window. “Here they come.”

The kids were cycling down the road towards Steve’s house, bickering amongst themselves, slowly getting closer.

“Come on then, my sweet little sugar muffin.” Eddie said, throwing his arm over Nancy’s shoulders as she stood. “We’ll put on a performance worthy of Shakespeare.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Eddie frowned. “My spicy pepper?”

“No.”

“My little prickly pear?”

“Gun or a blunt object, take your pick.”

“Alright,” Eddie held his hands up, keeping an arm around Nancy’s neck while Robin unwrapped her lollipop and stuck it in her mouth. “I hear you, loud and clear.”

“So how do you want to start-?” Steve began to say but was cut off as everyone in the room jumped when Eddie decided to project as loudly as he could.

“We have come to inform our friends of our torrid love affair!”

Steve rolled his eyes.

“Really? Really?” He asked, raising his own voice. “That’s how you’re gonna start?”

While they weren’t arguing, it would certainly sound like it from outside.

“We cannot help it! Our passions have simply taken over us!”

Steve sighed, hands on his hips. “Okay, fine.” He muttered before getting loud again. “I can’t believe you would do this to me!”

Just in time too as the kids slammed through the front door, barging in like they owned the place.

Well shit, Eddie thought. Time for a show.

"Steve, please! I thought you'd be happy for me!" Eddie shouted back, waving his free arm around. Honestly, he’d given better performances than this and Steve was trying his best.

"Happy for you? How could I be happy for you when you're stealing Nancy away from me!"

Nancy glared at Steve from Eddie’s side and the grimace he gave in return said sorry.

“I’m sorry Steve but-”

“You’re supposed to be my friend Eddie!” 

Friend. That still ticked him. Friends didn’t have other friends tongues up their-

Nope. Stop. This was serious business. Could he not go five minutes with Steve in the same room without getting stupid horny over him?

“I am your friend! But you can’t expect me to ignore the pull of true love!”

“True love?” Nancy asked. Like she was saying Really? You’re going that far?

And well… Eddie never really knew when to stop pushing, did he?

“That’s right. True love, shnookums, my precious little rainbow cupcake.” When Eddie booped her on the nose, she dug her nails into his side hard and he had to put all his effort into not reacting.

Dustin was staring around at them like they’d all set his fucking house on fire or something.

“This is a complete betrayal! I don’t know if I can ever look at you the same way again, either of you! In fact, I don’t think I can look at you anymore at all!” 

Steve had to turn to face Robin to hide his grin from the kids and Robin just chewed on her lollipop, trying not to react.

“I don’t think there’s anything more I can say to you two. I never want to speak to you again! I never want to see you again!” Steve cried, hamming up the drama in a way Eddie knew was adopted from his own mannerisms and Jesus Christ he was so in love. “Go on, run away together and leave me behind! I wash my hands of you two.”

Eddie sighed. “That’s too bad Steve, I’m sorry this is goodbye forever, never to see each other again, never to interact or even ask the kids about one another in passing. This is truly a terrible, irreparable breaking of the Fellowship, never to be fixed!”

Okay.

Maybe they’d gone overboard on the drama a tad, but who could blame them? 

Dustin certainly looked like he was taking it all seriously, wide eyed and open mouthed as he and Nancy turned to face him.

“Eddie.” Dustin whined. “What have you done?”

Excuse me, the fuck?

“What have I done? I did nothing but follow my heart, struck down by Cupid's arrow!” Eddie sent the full force of his glare at the kid. “What have you done, Dustin? You started this.”

“This wasn’t the plan, Eddie! This wasn’t the plan!”

And now Steve was coming over, interrogating Dustin and Dustin was fucking arguing back like he wasn’t the one in the wrong, looking between all of them with something like realisation on his face. 

"Wait."

He was staring between Steve, Eddie and Nancy, finally connecting the dots.

"Personally, I think I pulled off 'straight' rather well." 

Being into girls wasn’t the issue, being exclusively into girls though? Pretending he wasn’t undressing Steve with his eyes every time he looked at him? 

That had been the real challenge. 

Steve was pouring his heart out, trying to get Dustin to understand why everything he’d done was so fucked up, but the kid was just looking for an escape route.

“Eddie?”

Like hell.

“Don’t look at me, I am not on your side here, Henderson. I told you how this would end when you first approached me and you wouldn’t listen.”

“But you were bluffing! There’s no way you could have known he wouldn’t want this! You don’t know Steve that well.”

“What happened to 'you're a friend his own age', huh? You’re still assuming you know everything without a complete picture. There’s a glaring puzzle piece you’re missing out on because, and I’m sorry I have to say this, you don’t look at things objectively like a scientist should. You let your emotions run you and again refuse to see past the end of your own nose.”

And even then, even after all of that, Dustin still wanted to demand answers out of them.

“What could I possibly be missing?” He pouted, petulant and childish.

“Oh no, you don’t get to bully that information out of us." Eddie said. "If you were meant to know, then you’d know. But you don’t get to decide what secrets people do or don’t tell you. Part of being a grown up is understanding that.”

“But why… why wouldn’t you tell me something like that?”

“This. This is why, Dustin." Steve answered, running a hand through his hair. He was getting more and more stressed by the second. While he spoke, his shoulders were becoming tenser, his face was becoming harder and Eddie knew that he was going to need a little while to recover after this. He’d be so emotionally drained and all Eddie wanted to do was scoop him up and take him away from everything, from all this.

Let him live his life outside the kids, outside Hawkins, be young again. Be carefree. 

Even after all this, explaining to Dustin why this was so fucked up, he was still trying to deflect. Bring in the other kids in a hope his consequences would be lessened.

Fat chance.

Then he had to go and make that one last comment.

“So that’s it? You’re happy being single? Really?” 

Eddie wasn’t even really feeling angry anymore. Just so incredibly disappointed. He put a steadying hand on the small of Steve’s back, out of sight and Robin’s hand came to join his not long after when Steve said “You still don’t get it.”

Dustin tried to defend himself one last time, but they were all done with him. At least for now.

While Nancy corralled the kids back outside Robin lifted her head, speaking to the two of them, the only two left in the house. 

“So that went…”

“As well as we could have hoped?” Eddie asked, taking Steve’s hand in his. 

Steve just shrugged, turning away from the two of them in the empty echoey house and silently making his way upstairs and Eddie felt his heart crack.

Steve loved those kids, so for something like this to happen, such a big fallout… it must be killing him.

And he was probably blaming himself for everything. 

“What do you think?” He asked Robin. “Give him a few minutes or wait for him to come down?”

“We’ll give him a few minutes. I’ll go up to him then.”

Eddie nodded, watching the top of the stairs like Steve was still visible, standing there. “I think I might take him away. Just for the weekend or something. Take him to Indy. Have some fun.”

“And show him that he could get away from all of this, permanently, if he wanted to?”

“Maybe.” He finally managed to tear his eyes away from the stairs and back to Robin. “You’re coming, if it ever does happen. We’ve got a spot on the floor of the van with your name on it.”

“Wow, thanks.” Robin rolled her eyes. “What if I fuck off to college?”

“We’ll fuck off to college with you.”

Robin tried to bite down on a smile, punching him in the arm as she passed.

“What a fucking sap.” She muttered, disappearing upstairs while Eddie went to the phone, ready to order his weight in pizzas.

In the following weeks, Eddie got to watch as Steve slowly began to open up to the idea that maybe he didn’t need to be one of those who was born, lived and died in this shithole of a town. 

The kids, though they had leaned on him an awful lot, mostly whenever he could do them favours, were starting to come to terms with the fact that they had legs.

Steve had refused every single request for a ride. He privately let Eddie know that of course he’d go out for them if it was an emergency but it never was. 

This was a small town and they had bikes.

They should never have been able to get away with those demands in the first place.

The first time it happened, they couldn’t believe it. They almost believed Steve had gotten into an accident rather than follow through on his refusal to come get them.

Which led to anger.

Which led to Steve freezing them out for a solid two weeks. Not talking to them. Not interacting with them at all.

Until they learned he was a human with his own feelings and not a robot they could all walk over.

They’d been getting around on their own before they met Steve and they’d be getting around on their own after. 

It didn’t take long after that for them to come back with their tails tucked between their legs.

Eddie had been having the time of his life, spoiling the shit out of his boy, taking him out to the city every chance he got and sometimes even further.

Just adventuring in the van as far as they could conceivably go before Steve had to be back at work and Eddie had to be back so Wayne didn’t lose his damn mind.

They’d gotten the travel bug and they refused to share about their adventures with the kids, no matter how much they bugged them for it.

Dustin was incredibly subdued.

It got better as time went on but it wasn’t until nearly a month later that Steve, cuddled up on Eddie’s couch, revealed that Dustin had called over earlier that day out of nowhere with a long handwritten letter that he’d been working on for a while.

The kid had read it aloud to him, having to pause multiple times to calm his tears so he could continue, but he got through it.

Steve hadn’t even bothered to hide his own tears from the kid.

It was slow going, but they were healing.

Steve had sworn that the contents of the letter were between the two of them and he’d never break that promise.

Dustin had stayed the night and things were getting better.

Eddie snuggled down, pulling Steve in tighter to his chest and couldn’t help but smile. The kids were learning to be more independent from Steve, no longer using him as a glorified taxi. 

Steve was learning to love himself more, not allowing himself to be walked all over.

And they were planning.

Planning for a future. Their future.

Away from the soul sucking presence of Hawkins and everything it had taken from them. 

Eddie couldn’t wait.

Part 1 AO3

@augustjustice @estrellami-1 @starman-jpg @hallucinatedjosten @pizazzmcjazz @hallo-spaceb0y @goodolefashionedloverboi

Big thanks as always to @hbyrde36 for her magnificent beta work and to the STWG for their motivation.

[alluralater]

i love talking shit about marvel movies + the entire franchise because all of my arguments are true and no i don’t care that scarlett witch is hot. the government funds these movies for nationalist propaganda and ya’ll eat that shit up. i am totally cool not giving a fuck about some bucky and whomever fuckin on top of the iron shield or whatever. the only person i deadass like out of all them dudes is chris evans and it’s because he’s so great as person and he doesn’t take this shit seriously. “i love iron man!!” okay but you remember robert downey junior did black face in literally 2008. that’s who marvel chose to give 435 million dollars to. people excuse that movie and him doing so because his character is meant to be a commentary on method actors. um?? hello?? you’re excusing the character AND the actor in the same breath as if he didn’t sit in a trailer for hours getting his makeup done in blackface for MONTHS. and that movie came out the same year as iron man, the year people decided to say he was finally getting into good roles and he was becoming a better person. how interesting mhm yeah sure okay. i digress, onto the next— anyways. marvel is awful too because when scarlett johansson was asking for the money she fucking deserved for giving so much of her life and time to this role she was constantly ridiculed for, none of these dudes ya’ll love to conflate as actual heros said shit. they sat with her in interviews while she was sexually harassed and said literally nothing. all these men would rather protect their own reputation and their own likability and USE the power they have from portraying fake heros to boost their stats but god forbid they say shut up when an interviewer is sexually harassing a woman directly in front of them. makes sense. ​this franchise normalizes war and weapons and militarization to children. marvel sucks too because they really jump all over this idea that america was so influential in world war two. they fully take focus away from the victims of that war and that genocide and instead make it MORE about americans, who in all actuality played the fence until the war was basically over and only stepped in when they knew who was gonna win. propaganda and bullshit are america’s biggest exports. oh and i guess now, chemically polluted grains <3 enjoy your cancer popcorn after what happened in ohio and america tried to cover it up :) i hate marvel too because it’s just the most capitalistic bullshit i’ve ever seen in my life. literally couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without seeing that shit in my face. the budget for each of those movies could have paid for SO much else in this country but yeah yeehaw cowboys let’s dump it all into the glorification of for-profit heroism ;)

i literally could go on forever but i’ll stop cause this is so many words and i’m just here to talk shit rn

[ooffmlsorry]

The Monster Trio Driving (you around)

LUFFY

Getting this one right out the way, THIS MAN CANNOT DRIVE!!!! You are driving him around

Luffy theoretically knows how to drive because Ace and Sabo taught him but doesn't have a license and no one in their right mind would give him one

Always has his feet on the dashboard

Loves singing along to music with you even if he doesn't know the words

Knows it's probably a hassle to drive him around sometimes, so he'll get out and pump gas for you--especially when it's cold

Sticks his tongue out a people that cut you off

Always brings snacks that he'll (mostly) share with you

Points out everything cool, cool cars, cows, dogs, clouds, he just wants you to experience them too 🥰 (just don't crash)

DOGGIE!! Y/N there's a doggie in the car next to us!! Let's tell them to pull over so we can pet it!!

Leaves crumbs in your car if he notices them (BIG IF) he'll apologize and swipe them out, I swear!

SANJI

Between Zoro and Luffy, obviously he's the best driver and he definitely mocks Zoro about it

Drives so safe when you're in the car

You know that one Twenty One Pilots song "Tear in My Heart"? Yeah, Sanji is the guy avoiding potholes so you can keep sleeping and is cursing the government under his breath for not filling the potholes so his princess can sleep

Other than the fact that the car smells like smoke, he keeps it pretty clean

Of course he opens the door for you, who do you think he is???

He's great except...the road rage Oh. My. God. Nobody better drive like an idiot when he's go the most beautiful woman in the world in his car

HEY JACKASS CAN'T YOU SEE I'VE GOT AN ANGEL IN MY CAR!!!?? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!

I mean he's not gonna cause a problem once the idiots done being an idiot but I hope you like flipping people off and the liberal use of the car horn

Let's you pick the music, obviously, but gets really melty and fuzzy-hearted when you let him pick

Gets distracted at stop lights because he's always touching you or staring

Car sex obviously

ZORO

No one knows how he got a license...you're not even sure he has one because if anyone asks he just smirks like the gif above

Always has Google maps on, don't say anything about it or he'll get mad

HATES traffic

Tells you you owe him gas money, never actually collects on it though lol and if you try to give it to him he basically gaslights you into believing he never said that

His car is kind of a mess, when he started dating you he put his gym stuff in the trunk so at least his car doesn't smell like sweaty balls and ass anymore

Gets lowkey nervous about driving in the city and in bad weather

Shut up! I need to concentrate! / *turns the music down so he can see better*

Begrudgingly lets you pick the music and complains that you don't have taste but ends up totally enjoying it

Thinks about road head a lot but doesn't necessarily want to try it

Loves driving you around actually because it's just the two you and it feels like y'all are in your own little world sometimes

Usually rests his hand on your thigh or is touching you in some way while driving

Cramped backseat car naps together🥰

[plussizefantasia]

Hello ❤️❤️

Me Again, i loved the drabble so much so i decided to ask for another one (if it is possible 🥺🙏❤️)

I will ask for nr. 17 with Bucky Barnes 🙏🙏❤️

Also i want to ask if its possible to write smth witt Moon Knight? From the pro t list ofc. Thank you love ❤️❤️

Cat Dad

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend is being held captive and you're the only one who can save him.

Word Count: 700

A/N: I would like to try something for Moon Knight! Let me know what you'd like to see. (No promises it won't be garbage though.)

If you ever told the rest of the Avengers that Bucky Barnes was a complete cat dad, they would scoff and laugh in your face. But they didn’t get to see him like you did. The times he would spend at least half an hour in the toy aisle every time the two of you went to buy Alpine more food always saying “C’mon we have to get this for her, she’d love it!”. When he refused to move anytime she curled up on his lap, or the time he insisted she needed a soft bed in each room of the apartment, lest she wanted to curl up near you guys but couldn’t find a comfy spot.

You wouldn’t be the one to tell him that she never used the beds he had purchased and would more often than not find herself curled up and purring in your reading chair that was conveniently located underneath the window so the light hit it just right.

He always said he would do anything for you two, “his girls” he had called you. Except for that tonight Alpine seemed to be pushing every single one of his buttons. Bucky is a patient man, he’s always in his head so it’s sometimes hard to see what he’s feeling. But you had gotten really good at reading him and you could read the tension in his shoulders and the slow and pronounced breaths he was taking that something had him on edge.

You slipped out of the kitchen and towards the living space, Bucky was on the couch, his back leaning against the arm of the sectional and his legs stretched out in front of him, holding up the laptop that he was using to finish up his mission reports for Sam. The boys weren’t officially working for the government but had some affiliations which meant that a paper trail needed to be kept. You could immediately see what was getting Buck worked up, Alpine had taken it upon herself to position herself in her dad’s lap in such a way that she was covering half of the keyboard. The sight was hilarious, and you couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle. Bucky was so sweet, and despite the fact that this report needed to be finished today, your sweet boyfriend was not going to move the cat off of his lap, even if it would make his life so much easier.

When the sound of your soft laugh reached his ears, Bucky’s eyes shot up at you. They screamed for help. You wouldn’t be able to stop the smile that spread across your cheeks if you tried. 

“What’s going on in here?” You innocently asked.

“Doll, thank God. Can you please take her?” You could hear the desperation in his voice, he really didn’t want to push her down but he couldn’t get his work done while she sprawled across him.

“I don’t know Buck she seems pretty comfy, I would hate to disturb her.” he shot you a look that screamed betrayal. “Don’t look at me like that she’s your child.”

“You’re doing this to mess with me. You normally don’t have any problem moving her especially when she’s in your chair,” he called you out.

“But she’s not in my chair so I don’t need to move her” You cheekily threw back at him.

“Honey, Princess, Love of my life would you pretty, pretty please take our girl off my lap so I can finish my work?” He pleaded with you.

“Hmmm, what will you give me if I do?”

“Anything you want Doll, I’d give you the world if I could you know that.” He was trying to sweet-talk you into helping it out, and it almost worked.

“That’s sweet but I think I’m gonna let you suffer a little longer, you should think of this before you eat the rest of my cookies next time. The Girl Scouts only sell those things once a year.” You turned and started to walk away.

“When she gets up you’re gonna get it.” He called out after you.

“Looking forward to it Baby,” You called back.