#why do i need the equation i can solve it without the dumb equation

[titan-god-helios]

I AM A GOD SUCK MY ASS ALGEBRA

[almostwisegalaxy]

The forbidden in his eyes

Go hyun-tak x Sieun Sister!reader

Part 2 of UP to two Read this first I beg you

The reader has a shy character in this story

.................................………………………………………

Initially, Si-eun wasn't wary.

Hyun-tak was always the quiet one, but he saw everything. A quiet rock. He never took the lead unless necessary, and yet, he was always there when needed. That was his strength. And it was surely what had reassured Y/N, even if she didn't say it.

It was gradual.

The first time was a quick trip to the local park. A break between classes, a desire for fresh air. Humin had yelled at pigeons, Juntae had gotten lost in his own thoughts as usual, and Si-eun had seen, in the distance, Y/N sitting on a bench. And Hyun-tak… standing next to her, offering her an ice cream. She had smiled. He had looked away.

No one said anything. But Si-eun felt it.

That something, there. Slight but very real. An invisible thread between the two of them.

It intensified over the weeks.

Y/N, usually reluctant to stay in overly noisy groups, more often agreed to join them. But not for them. For him.

"Is Gogo coming?" she would sometimes ask, in a detached tone that was anything but innocent.

The first time she called him that, "Gogo," everyone burst out laughing. Except Hyun-tak, who turned beet red.

"Why do you call him that?" Humin grumbled.

"I don't know. Gotak, it's ugly. Gogo, it's softer."

And as if it were obvious, it stuck. Gogo this, Gogo that.

Even Juntae smiled, with his enigmatic look. But Si-eun frowned. He didn't say anything that day. He just watched Hyun-tak out of the corner of his eye.

Y/N was tactile. That wasn't new.

She'd cling to his arm when they walked together. She'd rest her head on his shoulder on the subway when she was tired. She'd take Si-eun's hand without warning, like when she was little. And yet… it wasn't the same with Hyun-tak.

It was never her who changed. It was him.

Every time she placed her hand on his shoulder, Hyun-tak became stiffer. Every time she laughed at one of his jokes—and only his—he would pinch his lips to keep from smiling too broadly. And most of all… he'd blush. Like a living blush. guy...

Every single time.

And Y/N? She saw nothing.

She continued to talk, to laugh, to tug on his sleeve, to complain about her homework, to thank him for a snack, to sit just a little too close.

But it was always him who looked away. Who pretended. Who whispered to himself: You don't have the right.

Hyun-tak knew.

He kept telling himself it was stupid. That it was temporary. That she was fifteen, and he was seventeen. It wasn't much, maybe. But in his head, it was a barrier. A forbidden line. He told himself he wasn't good enough for her.

Not smart enough. Not strong enough. Too used to solving problems with his fists. Too awkward with words.

And yet, he couldn't help but stay. To be there. To reach out when she stumbled. To give her his jacket when she was cold. To send her a message at night when he knew she'd had a bad day.

She didn't always reply.

But when she did, it was with these simple little words:

- Thanks, Gogo.

- You save my day.

And he would sit on his bed, phone on his chest, eyes closed, his heart a little too heavy.

He didn't have the right.

But he didn't want to distance himself either.

One afternoon, they found themselves alone, without the others. Y/N had invited him, almost without thinking.

"Can you help me study for math? Oppa's not here, and I hate equations."

He hesitated. Just for a second. Then he accepted.

At her place, it was quiet. Clean. A little messy too. Books, folded clothes, snacks hidden in a corner of the desk. She was comfortable. He, less so.

She had put on an oversized sweater. Did it belong to him? He preferred not to ask.

She sat on the floor, legs crossed, the textbook open in front of her.

"Explain this to me," she said, pointing to a problem.

He knelt beside her, tried to explain.

She understood quickly. And smiled.

"You're really not dumb, Gogo."

"You're better than you think you are."

"You're cute when you say that like it's nothing."

He looked at her. A little too long.

She didn't even notice.

That evening, Si-eun came home early.

He found them both in the living room, bent over a notebook. Nothing suspicious. Just… too close. Too fluid. Too natural.

Y/N looked up and said, cheerfully:

"Oppa, Gogo saved me from despair!"

Hyun-tak stood up, nervously, hands in his pockets.

"I'm going to go."

He avoided Si-eun's gaze. Y/N, meanwhile, continued to put her things away as if nothing had happened.

But Si-eun felt his stomach clench.

It wasn't that he didn't like Hyun-tak.

It might even have been the opposite.

He was the most reliable of them all. The one who fought without hesitation to protect others. Who had never betrayed, never lied, never fled. When they were in trouble, he was the one who stood firm without thinking. He was loyal, upright, courageous.

But Si-eun was struggling.

Too much.

To see him look at Y/N like that.

With that mixture of silent admiration, contained tenderness, and guilt. Si-eun saw it. He read it in his gestures, in his silences.

That look… it didn't belong to a mere friend.

But he said nothing.

Not yet.

***

A few days later, it was a rainy day.

Y/N had missed her bus. She had called Hyun-tak. Not her brother. Him.

He had run to her stop, found her soaked, shivering. She had tried to joke.

"You're allowed to tell me I'm an idiot, go ahead."

He removed his jacket without answering and placed it over her shoulders. Then, simply:

"I can't leave you like this."

They walked slowly, under an umbrella that was too small. She laughed. He blushed. And in that fine rain, he had wanted to take her hand.

But he didn't.

He didn't have the right.

Si-eun watched them from afar.

He still said nothing.

But his fists sometimes clenched, for no reason. His gaze became harder. Not towards Hyun-tak. Nor towards Y/N. Just… towards this reality he couldn't control.

He wanted to protect her. Like before. Like always.

But he also knew… that he couldn't keep her away from the world. Not forever.

And most of all, that she would choose him herself.

Even if she didn't realize it.

Even if "Gogo" remained a silly nickname in the eyes of others.

For her, he had become a landmark.

And that…

that scared Si-eun more than anything.

---

POV Hyun-tak

He should have backed away long ago.

He knew it.

He had known it the first time she ran to him with that smile too big for her still-round cheeks, when she grabbed his arm without asking permission, when she called him Gogo as if it were normal.

No one called him that. No one dared.

But she did. Without thinking. Without barriers.

And he said nothing.

He should have pushed her away, acted distant. He didn't. Because he was weak. Because in this world of chaos, blows, pain, and silence, she was light.

Not a blinding light.

A gentle flame.

Something rare. Fragile. Terribly alive.

Y/N was tactile. She always had been. She clung to the people she loved. She tugged on sleeves, tapped arms, leaned back without warning, slipped her fingers into his without realizing. And with him, it was worse.

He had tried everything to convince himself it meant nothing. That he could handle it. That he could be the one who stayed, solid, unmoving. But sometimes, when she laughed, gently hitting his shoulder, when she clung to his bag, he wanted to scream.

Scream at himself.

Because he felt too much. And she, nothing.

Not like him.

She was at an age where you live through others. Where you heal through those you think you understand. She didn't see his glances, his silences, his trembling. She didn't feel the tension in his arm when she unexpectedly hugged him. She didn't see the fire burning in his chest when she half-fell asleep on his shoulder during bus rides.

She was just herself. Spontaneous. Carefree. Without malice.

And he…

He was drowning.

He suspected Si-eun had noticed.

He wasn't blind.

He felt his gaze linger longer, heavier, when Y/N shamelessly clung to him. He saw his jaw clench, his fists tighten. He recognized that tension in his eyes, that fine blade of worry beneath his voice.

But that day, it was no longer suspicion. It was fire.

They were alone. In front of the high school. The others had left. Y/N too.

Si-eun had called him in a calm tone. Too calm. He knew that tone. It was the calm before the storm. The one used when words become more powerful than shouts.

"We need to talk."

Hyun-tak said nothing. He nodded.

They stopped at the corner of a building, by the wall, where no one lingered at that hour. It was grey. The cold wind whipped their faces.

And then Si-eun spoke. Straight into his eyes.

"You're going to stay away from her."

A blade.

Simple.

Cold.

Hyun-tak didn't flinch. But his heart skipped a beat.

"Did you hear me?"

"I heard you."

"So?"

"I… I understand."

A terrible silence.

But Si-eun didn't let up.

"Do you think I hate you?"

Hyun-tak clenched his teeth. His gaze trembled.

"No."

"Do you think I take you for a jerk?"

"No."

"Then why haven't you moved? Why do you let her cling to you? Why do you look at her like that?!"

The voice rose. And the blow landed—not a fist. Just a mental slap. A sharp word.

Hyun-tak opened his mouth. Then closed it. He felt tiny. Ridiculous. Ashamed.

But he had to speak.

"Because I love her."

The word was uttered. Slowly. Like a secret being buried. A pain being bled.

Si-eun took a step back. Not shocked. Not surprised. Just… broken.

"You love her?"

"I know I don't have the right."

"You love her?!" Si-eun repeated, his voice broken this time.

Hyun-tak felt his breath shorten.

"I love her like you love what you've never had. Like a fixed point in an unstable life. I love her because she smiles like she's never suffered. Because she still sees beauty in ugly things. Because she truly laughs. And because, when she touches me, I feel like I exist."

A silence fell.

Hyun-tak wiped away a tear before it fell.

"But I won't do anything. I swear. I never have. I never will. I'm not that kind of guy. I already hate myself enough."

Si-eun lowered his head.

And then, in a whisper:

"I respect you, Hyun-tak. You're my friend. You've saved me more than once. I'd trust you with my life. But my sister…"

He looked up.

"My sister isn't just someone. She's all I have. She's the only person I've ever wanted to protect, before myself. Before everything. You were there when she was broken. You saw her in pieces. You saw how she put herself back together. And you're important in that too. But now…"

He paused.

"Now you have to choose. Either you keep making her smile, in silence, from a distance. Or you leave."

Hyun-tak didn't answer immediately.

He felt his heart screaming. His throat was dry. His eyes burned.

But he nodded.

"I'll keep my distance."

It was a lie. Not about the action—he would do it. But about the pain. He knew he would stay. That he would burn in silence. That he would live beside her, without ever having her. That every time she touched him, he would turn away. Every time she spoke too close, he would step back. That he would become a wall.

And it would hurt.

But he would do it.

For her.

For Si-eun.

For himself.

Because sometimes, loving means staying away.

That evening, he went home, alone. He locked the door. He sat on the floor, back against the wall.

He buried his head in his arms. And he cried. Silently.

No sobs. Just tears. Burning. Relentless. Uncontrollable.

Because sometimes, the heart doesn't understand that what it wants, it cannot have.

And that even sincere, tender, honest love…

… can hurt.

And be forbidden.

---

POV HYUN-TAK

Distancing himself from her. He had decided.

It was what he had to do. What Si-eun expected. What a good friend, an honest man, would do. Not what he wanted. But since when did desires have a place in this kind of equation?

So, he put distance between them.

It wasn't brutal. Just… gradual. He replied less. No longer laughed at her jokes. No longer allowed himself to be touched. When she walked past him, he pretended to be distracted. He no longer responded to her nicknames. He no longer looked at her. At least not when she could see him.

She understood.

Not everything. But enough.

Y/N wasn't stupid. Nor blind. She had first thought it was a passing mood. Then, she insisted, a little. He held firm. Until she confronted him.

"Why are you ignoring me?" she blurted out, her brows furrowed, a tremor in her voice.

He took a deep breath.

"I'm not ignoring you. It's just… better this way."

"Better for whom?" she retorted, her voice higher.

He clenched his fists. She was there, in front of him, two steps away. Her presence consumed him. She didn't understand. And he couldn't explain.

"Y/N… I'm tired. That's all."

That's all ? A lie.

She stared at him for a long time, her lips pressed together. Then she whispered:

"It's my brother, isn't it? He said something to you."

He didn't answer. And that was the worst mistake.

She took a step back, her face frozen. Tears didn't come easily to Y/N. But her gaze… it was broken.

"It's him. You're not saying anything, so it's him."

She turned on her heel. Without another word.

Later, he learned they had argued. She and Si-eun. It wasn't common. They were bound by years of silent survival, of shared pain. But this time, she had confronted him. And Si-eun hadn't denied it.

He didn't know what they had said to each other. But the next day, she walked past him without a word.

And that… that hurt more than anything.

He swore to himself to hold on. Because even if it tore him apart, it was better this way. She needed to be free. To grow up without him in her footsteps. To become who she was meant to be, without his burning glances at her back.

But Y/N… she was a flame. And flames don't accept walls.

One day, she came back to him. He was sitting on the steps behind the gym, where he often went when he needed air.

She sat next to him without saying anything.

The silence was thick. Almost heavy.

Then she whispered:

"I'm mad at you."

He turned his head towards her. She was looking straight ahead, her legs pulled up to her chest.

"You don't understand what you mean to me. And you disappeared without warning me. Without telling me why. What do you think I am? A child? A clinging girl? I'm not stupid, Gogo."

The nickname echoed in his chest. He had to close his eyes to keep from faltering.

"Y/N, I…"

"Shut the fuck up."

She was trembling. Not from cold. From anger.

"Do you think you're helping me? You're hurting me. You're hurting me like no one else."

He didn't answer. He couldn't. Because if a single word crossed his lips, he wouldn't be able to stop. He would tell her he loved her, that he dreamed of her, that she haunted his thoughts. And he didn't have the right.

A few days later, they all got caught up in a situation that went bad.

An old score to settle with a former group. Nothing new. Except this time, Y/N was there.

She shouldn't have been there. She was never there when things got serious. But that evening, she had decided to follow Si-eun and the others, despite her classes. Maybe to keep an eye on him. Maybe to prove something to herself.

When Hyun-tak understood what was happening—the ambush, the familiar faces of those who came for them, the improvised weapons in their pockets—his blood ran cold.

He searched for Y/N with his eyes.

She was there. Too close.

"Y/N. Leave." His voice was firm.

She frowned.

"Huh? No, why?"

"Leave! Now!"

"But I…"

"Y/N! GET OUT!"

She flinched. He never yelled. Never at her. She remained frozen.

Then he grabbed her arm, pushed her towards an alley.

"You have to leave. Run until you hear nothing more. Do you understand me?!"

"But why? It's not serious, I can—"

"You shouldn't be here! Don't you understand, damn it! I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE!"

She opened her mouth. And saw it.

The look.

That of a boy who is scared. For her. Who trembles at the mere thought of her being touched. It wasn't anger. It was raw panic. Naked.

She backed away. Slowly. Then she turned on her heel.

He watched her disappear. And at that moment, he felt something within him collapse.

He had just yelled at her. Forced her to leave. As if she were a burden. As if she were a problem.

But she was none of that.

She was the only precious thing in this rotten world.

And he had pushed her away again.

The fight was short. Violent. A little disorganized. They got out of it. But in Hyun-tak's heart, something had frozen.

He wasn't afraid of dying. He was afraid she would be hurt.

When he got home that night, he clenched his fists so hard that his nails left marks.

He sat on the floor, back against the wall. Again.

And he hated himself.

Y/N, for her part, didn't come back to him in the following days. Not like before.

She looked at him from afar. Her eyes dark, hurt. Silent.

She didn't know he loved her. But she knew he had pushed her away. She knew he was keeping his distance. And for her, that was already too much.

And him?

He acted as if he was fine.

He smiled in front of the others. He laughed with Hu-min. He listened to Juntae. He talked with Si-eun, as if nothing had happened.

But as soon as she entered a room, he stopped breathing.

Because love, true love, isn't happiness.

It's a constant burn.

A fire that cannot be extinguished.

And that must be hidden so as not to burn everything down.

---

For the past few days, a new sensation had been forming within Hyun-tak. A burning he had never felt before, and one he couldn't name at first. It wasn't disgust. It wasn't jealousy. It wasn't sorrow. It was anger. Pure. Cold. Muffled. Against Si-eun.

Because he had seen Y/N crumble. He had seen her struggle against rejection, against incomprehension, against a suffering that was far too heavy for her still-teenage shoulders. And Si-eun had let her down. He had his reasons, Hyun-tak was sure of it. But that excused nothing.

He resented Si-eun for imposing this distance. For looking him straight in the eye and telling him to stay away from her. He resented him for hurting her.

And most of all, he resented himself for listening.

That night, he was on his bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. His phone vibrated once, then a second time. An alert. The location app they had installed together, as friends, as a joke. Y/N was in a weird place.

He frowned. A nightclub?

He called Si-eun immediately.

"Why is Y/N in a damn club?!"

Silence on the other end of the line. Then:

"What?!"

"Check the app. She's in a damn club. Explain to me what she's doing there?!"

He heard Si-eun's hurried movements. Then the call cut off.

Hyun-tak jumped up, pulling on a jacket. He couldn't wait. Not this time.

Y/N was already outside the club when Si-eun found her. She swayed, dishevelled, a tight black dress clinging to her slender hips. She was scarlet, her cheeks flushed, her eyes washed out by alcohol.

"What did you do, Y/N?! You just took off like that without saying anything?!"

She turned her head towards him and laughed. A bitter, grating, joyless laugh.

"You want to know? Nothing. I was just tired of being invisible. Tired of you, of Gogo, of your secrets and your orders."

He took her arm to drag her to the apartment. She walked with difficulty, dragging her feet. Halfway there, she collapsed onto the pavement, sitting down like a spoiled child.

"I don't want to go home!" she cried. "Let me go, I'm sick of you both!"

She was screaming. Hoarse, tearing cries. The kind that comes from too deep to be calmed.

"EVERYTHING is my fault, isn't it?! I don't have the right to exist as I want! I don't have the right to love the people I want! No right to live!"

"Y/N, stop…"

"NO! You're lecturing me when you've messed up my life! You and your damn silence! You're not my father, you're not even a real brother sometimes!"

And that's when Hyun-tak arrived.

He stopped dead when he saw her. Sitting on the ground. Her arms dangling. Her hair dishevelled. Her legs exposed. A dress too adult for her. A sadness too great for her body.

Something exploded inside him.

"Are you stupid or what?!" he roared. "Have you been drinking?! What did you do in that shitty club?!"

She looked up at him. And she smiled. A sad, defensive smile.

"Oh, Gogo. You came too. Great. Come lecture me too."

"Do you think this is a game?! What do you want to happen to you? Do you think we can protect you all the time, huh?!"

He was yelling. Loudly. His voice trembled. His fist was clenched, his breath short.

"Do you want us to find you in an alley, clothes torn and eyes empty?! Do you want to end up like that?!"

She sprang to her feet, stumbling.

"I'll do what I want! You're not my father either!"

"And do you think I want to be, damn it?! I-"

He cut himself off. Because he was about to say something he would regret.

Y/N was crying.

Big, painful, desperate tears. She hit her chest with her fist.

"You don't love me! No one really loves me! I'm just a damn burden!"

"That's not true!" Hyun-tak cried. "That's so untrue…"

But she wasn't listening anymore. She was still screaming. She was in ruins.

And so was he.

He took a step forward, then two. Then he stopped.

She was magnificent.

Not beautiful. Magnificent. Broken, lost, but so alive. With her red eyes, her dangling arms, her crumpled dress, her cries of pure pain. She was truth incarnate. And he loved her. God, how he loved her.

And he wanted her to hate him.

Because if she loved him… he could never let her go again.

He took her in his arms, without a word. She let him, empty. He slipped his back under her arms and lifted her against him. She was light. Burning. He carried her as one carries what one never wants to break.

She didn't speak.

Neither did he.

But their hearts screamed.

---

The sun filtered gently through the thin curtains, caressing the sheets with a warm light. Y/N slowly blinked, her stomach still knotted with the emotions from the day before. It took her a few seconds to remember where she was: there, in Hyun-tak's living room, stretched out on the old sofa he'd always refused to change.

Her throat was dry, her head heavy. And yet, something else tore her from her stupor: voices.

Voices arguing.

Gotak's, first, nervous, laced with anger.

"You think that's enough for me ?! You put a barrier between us and now you want to act like everything's fine?!"

And Si-eun's, lower, tired. But sincere.

"I don't want to separate you anymore. You're the one who's angry. Not me."

Y/N slowly sat up, straining her ears, her heart beating faster.

"I tried to do what was right," Si-eun said. "I messed up. But I thought it was what I needed to do to protect her."

"You think by moving away from her, you're protecting her? Do you know how she felt when she looked at me, not understanding why I wasn't laughing at her jokes anymore? Why I wasn't brushing against her? Why I was changing paths when she arrived?!"

"I know."

"No, you don't know. Because you only see what you want to see. She looked at me like I'd become a stranger. She smiled at me even when she was sad, and I couldn't do anything."

A pause. Then Hyun-tak's voice, lower.

"I love her, damn it."

Y/N felt her chest constrict.

Hyun-tak continued, almost in a whisper, as if he no longer had the strength to hold it back.

"I did everything to tell myself it was stupid. That it was temporary. But every time I see her, every time she touches me without even thinking about it, it's like I fall a little more. I tried to detach myself. I failed."

A thick silence followed. Y/N didn't move, frozen.

Then, the door softly closed. The voices faded away.

She then noticed a sheet of paper on the coffee table. Familiar handwriting.

It's from Si-eun, she thought.

She picked it up, and read:

"Y/N. If one day your heart races, make sure it does so for the right person. Not for an illusion. Not for a crumb of affection.

For something that burns slowly, that remains.

You've always inspired me, even if I never told you.

You've always forced me to be better, even if I denied it.

I didn't want you to fall. But I made you fall. I didn't want to distance you from those who did you good. But I did. And I won't apologize with empty words.

Just... choose someone who never asks you to hide. Who looks at you like you're worth more than the world.

I think he already does.

Oppa."

Y/N put the paper down, tears welling in her eyes.

-

Hyun-tak was on the roof. As often. Sitting on the edge, legs dangling in the void, a can of soda in his hand.

She joined him, her heart both heavy and light.

"You don't smoke anymore?"

He startled slightly, turned.

"I don't know how to do it. Have you forgotten?"

She smiled. Then sat down beside him.

Silence settled, but not heavy. Sweet. Warm.

She turned her head towards him.

"You said you. loved. me."

He blushed. Lowered his head.

"You heard..."

"Every word."

He sighed, his gaze fixed on the horizon.

"I hadn't planned for it to come out like that. But it's true. It's even worse than what I said. I've loved you for months. Maybe more. You changed me, Y/N. You taught me to laugh at my own foolishness. You made me believe that maybe I wasn't so bad. And I was scared. Because I've always been the one people look at last. The one who protects but is never chosen."

He finally turned his eyes to her.

"But with you, I wanted to be the first. The only one. And I was ashamed to want it."

She said nothing.

And then, without thinking, she leaned in and kissed him.

A sudden, clumsy, desperate kiss.

She pulled away immediately, her heart pounding, terrified.

"Sorry! I thought... I believed..."

But he didn't wait.

He placed his hand on her cheek, gently, and pulled her towards him.

And this time, it was he who kissed her.

Slowly.

Tenderly.

With that modesty and intensity that don't deceive. As if he had waited a lifetime to do it. As if he was putting everything he had never been able to say into that kiss.

His fingers trembled slightly against her neck, but his lips were sure. Her heart beat fast, too fast, as if every second could break him or save him.

When he pulled back, she had her eyes closed.

He looked at her, a shy smile on his lips.

"It wasn't a fireworks display," he said. "It was a lighthouse."

She opened her eyes.

And smiled.

Her heart stronger. Clearer.

They didn't know where it would lead them.

But it was already there.

And it was true.

.................................………………………………………

New Geum Seongje fanfictions

MY SHELLA 🤧

: Gotak watching Sieun act like he didn't do anything 😐

[strawberryya]

notice me!

pairing: jihoon x reader

synopsis: Your boyfriend has a hectic life, but he usually has at least a little time to spare for his girlfriend. Now it has been two months since he last spent some alone time with you and you're losing your mind just a little over it... luckily, angry make-up sex can solve any problem!

word count: 2.1k

genre/cw: smut, angry sex, also make-up sex, established relationship, feeling neglected in relationship and bad ways of handling said feeling, unprotected sex, manhandling, light choking, fem reader, musician/producer! woozi.

rating: 18+

a/n: I had a moment a couple weeks ago where I wrote this whole thing in one hour in the middle of the night, and then I forgot about it and now I'm in shock just a little bit... anyhow, yay angry sex with wooziiii

network tagging: @svthub @cultofdionysusnet @k-labels @kvanity-main

[navigation post!]

You watched your boyfriend of two years looking at his phone, scrolling mindlessly across whatever app he found more interesting than his girlfriend sitting on the other end of the couch. You were barely wearing anything, a large t-shirt barely covering the sexy lingerie you had put on for tonight. 

“Jihoon, it’s been two months.” 

You wanted him to notice you. He had barely been home at your shared apartment for weeks. You knew his work was demanding, and that he gave it his all no matter what. But you have been feeling neglected lately. He had been coming home late, crashing on the couch instead of sleeping in your bed. Only giving you a chaste kiss before running off to work the next morning with a groggy “Sorry I missed dinner last night,” as a greeting. 

He hadn’t touched you in two months. You had counted the days, and after three weeks you were wondering if he wasn’t stressing too much about the latest album. After six weeks you had been feeling too horny for your own good, and your toys weren’t fulfilling your needs anymore. You wanted to feel him again. It didn’t matter how many times you came. It didn’t hit the spot. After two entire months of him being abstinent, you had begun getting snarky at the smallest things he did wrong. 

Jihoon looked up from his phone at your statement. He carelessly scratched his chin, making your pussy clench at the memory of those perfect hands being all over your body once upon a time. “Two months? Of what?” 

“Of you acting like a damn nun,” you said, dead serious. 

“A nun?!” He gasped out. 

“Yes! A nun!” You shouted back at him. 

He looked you over, sitting at the other end of the couch, dolled up more than usual and staring at him as if he had offended yuo great grandmother by existing. Then it seemed to click in his mind. “Oh,” was all he said.

Two months? Had it been that long? He knew very well that he had been resisting his urges, but he had managed for two entire months? He had been so busy with the new album, he had been staying late at the studio every day and waking up rushing back to the studio to put the new ideas he got during the night into reality. Two months without sex, and a pissed off girlfriend because of it. 

“I’m sorry?” 

You looked at him like he was an equation, mouth open just a bit as you stared at him in shock. “You’re sorry? What the fuck does that mean?” He was so clueless, you thought as you watched the dumb face he was making. (You still wanted that stupid handsome face of his to eat you out until you cried, but that was besides the point.)

Jihoon knew he had fucked up, you were pissed off and picking a fight, and he hadn’t made it better by not even knowing that he hadn’t slept with you in two whole months. 

“Do you even care? Because you don’t seem to care one bit about it since you didn’t even know! Do you not like me anymore? Are you not attracted to me anymore? Are you in love with someone else? Why the fuck would you go and cheat on me?!”

He stared at you in complete surprise. Cheating? “Hold up- hold up! What are you talking about?!” He said, flabbergasted at the way you seemed to have drawn the most far-fetched conclusions to this problem you could’ve possibly thought of. “I’ve been busy with the comeback! Please, baby, why are you acting crazy?” 

He shouldn’t have said that, he knew it the second the word left his perfectly plump lips. 

“Crazy? Did you just call me crazy? You haven’t seen crazy, you fucking asshole!” You shouted as you stormed out of the room. You were packing your bags, if he didn’t want to be with you anymore you wouldn’t be the one to stop him from moving on and sleeping with whoever else he wanted. Because it sure as hell wouldn’t be you after he had just called you crazy for noticing that he wasn’t interested in you anymore. 

“What are you doing?? Why are you messing up the apartment? Are you leaving?” he shouted, seemingly surprised that you didn’t feel like staying in an apartment that he was hellbent on making a girlfriend-free zone. 

“Yeah, I’m fucking leaving,” you grunt, shoving some shirts into your bag. You wouldn’t be able to grab it all but at least you could make it with the stuff you were throwing into it for a while. Y9ou could always borrow your friends’ stuff until you could get back all your clothes. “You’re pissing me off and I don’t wanna hate you.”

Jihoon was by the bedroom door now, hands pushing his hair out of his face as he watched you angrily packing your bags. How had he fucked up so badly that his girlfriend wanted to leave him like this? 

“Hate me? Baby, I really don’t know what I did to mess up this bad…” 

Of course, he didn’t understand, because apparently, your boyfriend was a freaking master at staying “pure”. He hadn’t even spent a single thought on you and what he could do with you. He only cared about his music. And you wouldn’t be the one to stand in his way if thats how he truly felt. 

“You don’t know?! Look at me Jihoon!” You threw the t-shirt off your body in an angry fit, making your boyfriend’s eyes widen. “I’ve been waiting for you to notice me, to care even a bit about me- about us- for months!! And tonight, I just can’t do this anymore. I’m losing my mind because you won’t fuck me, how stupid is that?” You nearly sobbed as you made it clear that you were frustrated in more than one way. You were so mad at him, and still, you couldn’t help but admire the way he looked so hot even now, his long black hair falling in pretty curls around his face and his lips shiny and pink. He looked so kissable it was like he was teasing you just by existing. 

“You got me all addicted to your cock and then you fucking left me to go through some kind of twisted withdrawal.” 

He gulped, his adam's apple moving in his throat, you didn’t even care to look at him anymore, you were angrily throwing your shit into the bag on the bed yet again, bent over and flaunting the tiny piece of fabric that tried it’s best to cover your ass. “You don’t even care,” you rumbled as you stuffed more things into the bag. He took in the way the lace set hugged your curves deliciously, he had been so busy with everything he hadn’t even noticed his own cravings. He had ignored it all for so long. 

“Shut up.”

His voice was deep, and commanding. Your breath caught in your throat, surprise and need mixing in an arousing blend that went straight to your head. “Excuse me?” Your movements paused completely. When you heard his footsteps approaching you hastily you looked at him, his gaze was darkened, and your core clenched around nothing as he pulled the bag from your grasp. Throwing it on the ground before he pushed your barely clothed body into the bed. 

“You think I don’t fucking care anymore just because you haven’t gotten dick in a couple weeks? Are you that desperate to be stretched like a little whore?” He growled in your ear, his bulge evident in the way he pressed against your ass. “I care, and I see you. So shut up.” 

You gasped at his harsh movements, neediness soaking your panties in record time. God, you were pathetic. 

“I haven’t eaten, I haven’t slept, and I sure as hell haven’t let myself even think about this sweet pussy of yours. I’ve been denying myself it all. But you’re right…” his hand pressed against your throat where you laid face down on the bed, “I’ve been neglecting you. You wanna know why? It’s because I knew that if I so much as looked at you, or held you in my arms while you slept so innocently, I wouldn’t be able to help myself. I wouldn’t have been able to do anything but fuck your tight little pussy all day and night.” His growling voice set off all kinds of sparks in your core. You needed him, now. 

You pushed your ass up against him, eating a groan from your boyfriend. “Such a little slut,” he mumbled, letting go of your throat and pulling himself back from you completely. You were dizzy from the hold around your throat, his perfect hands remembering just the way you liked to feel them around you. You were about to whine when his touch left your body when you heard the familiar shuffling of his clothes falling off his body. You wanted to see it, take his form in properly after all these weeks. But he was faster, pushing you back down against the bed before you got up. 

His erection pressed against your heat, making you moan as he prodded against the soaked fabric covering your entrance. 

“Jihoon, please,” you mewled, wiggling underneath his firm body. 

“Wanna shut up and let me fuck you then since you’re so fucking needy?” 

“Please, yes! Anything! Please fuck me!” You almost cried as you pleaded with him. 

“Sobbing over cock, you really are such a dirty girl for me.” He groaned as he let his pretty hands smooth over one of your asscheeks, smacking down hard and leaving a burning sting after him. Even that felt good. You needed him more than you had ever needed anything in your life. 

You felt him pull the sticky fabric from your core, pushing it aside in favor of pushing the head of his hard cock against your messy pussy. “I’m about to drown in you later tonight, just you wait.” He whispered before pushing past your entrance, slipping inside, your walls lubing his cock up as he entered. He ignored the way you were so tight it almost hurt to push all the way inside, your moaned pleas for him to go deeper, and the way you were gripping the sheets while he pushed all of himself inside of your dripping heat enough of a reason to push through. It had been so long since he had felt your walls gripping around him that he could’ve spilled his seed into you right then and there. 

He pulled himself together soon enough, thrusting into you at a brutal pace. Your ass which you had pushed up to meet his hips at first had been completely overpowered by the sheer force he was fucking you into the mattress with. You were coming for the first time within minutes. Screaming and sobbing as you finally came around him. He continued, repeating to you what a good toy you were, and how good of a girl you had been for holding out for him this long. 

When you were moaning again, closing in on a second orgasm he told you to come again. Lifting your ass up to balance you on your knees and chest, one of his arms wrapping around your hip to reach your clit, pressing down on it while he let his cock slip in and out effortlessly. Your arousal dripped down your thighs. You came undone and sobbed as he continued to overstimulate your abused cunt. 

He continued fucking you until he couldn’t take it anymore, his own orgasm crashing into him with such force it knocked the breath from his lungs. 

“That was one hell of an apology,” you said, breathless and still leaking cum, exhausted after having all your pent-up frustrations released all at once like this. 

Jihoon chuckled, a sound you had missed these past weeks as well. He really had been unusually absent in your life. It wasn’t just about the sex, you had missed him a lot. “I’m sorry for not being around as much,” he said, dragging a gentle hand over your back. You hadn’t had the energy to move a once from the position he had dropped your hips from once he had pulled out. 

“I just missed you, I’m sorry for lashing out.” 

“Don’t worry about it, just… next time you should just ask me to fuck you instead of threatening to leave me.”

You were embarrassed now, you had acted like a complete maniac, but my god - if that’s how he fucked a maniac, you wanted to stay crazy for the rest of eternity. 

Reblogging and commenting is highly appreciated!! Hearing what you thought is what makes writing and being here overall so much fun! Ty and ily 💕

[navigation post!]

[newtthetranswriter]

could you write yuta x reader, just a cute college au with maybe a jealous juts at or party or a study session in the dorms fluff? please and thank you if you want lol

Pairing: Yuta x gn!reader

Word count: 2076

A/n: Hey thank you for requesting this. I had fun writing it. Yuta is one of my favorites so it was nice writing for him again. I hope this is what you were hoping for, I’m not sure if I really captured the Jealous Yuta but I tried. Also the college part is implied, it worked best for me to leave them in the normal jjk world with curses and stuff but I tend to write with the mindset of everyone is aged up to college age, so hopefully it works for you, Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

It’s the Friday before exams which typically means a weekend long study session. Each time we do this a different member of our group is chosen to host in their dorm, this time I’m the lucky one to host our crazy group. Study sessions with this group always go wrong in some way, be it because someone ends up spilling something over everyone's books while being dumb cough Panda cough, or if anyone falls asleep they get a lovely drawing on their face courtesy of Toge. But I'm determined to make this session go on without anything going wrong.

You see, I have a foolproof plan to make everything go well. No drinks near books, no dips or sauces, and definitely no pens or markers. I gathered all the supplies we would need, that also wouldn’t pose a problem to our study session. Colored pencils instead of highlighters and pens, flash cards, chips, drinks in spill proof containers and an abundance of paper towels just in case.

“Welcome to my room, now put every pen and marker or anything that can be used for vandalism in this box. Take a seat on the floor and then I will go over the rules.” I said holding out a lock box as I greeted my four friends as they entered. I received a disgruntled look from Toge as he begrudgingly placed all his writing utensils in the box.

As everyone took a seat in a circle on the floor getting out their books, Panda paused for a second before piping up, “Hey wait what do you mean rules, and why are the pens and markers being locked up.” Toge nodded in agreement, being upset about having his favorite weapons taken from him.

“Well you see, everytime we have a study session someone causes trouble. There are three rules for this weekend. One, if a drink can not be sealed with a lid, is to stay on the table. Two, no dip or sauces around the books or note pads, if you want to snack it has to be at the table. And finally all the pens and markers are locked in this box which only I know the code to, as no one here needs a temporary tattoo on their face.” I said with a slight glare at the cursed speech user.

“Makes perfect sense but what are we supposed to use for color coding if all the markers are locked up?” Yuta asked, looking at me with confusion.

“Colored pencils, I picked up a bunch and there’s a pencil sharpener in the middle if its needed.”  I responded while sitting down between him and Toge so we could start our study session.

We were currently all studying for our math exam, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to look at Toge who was writing something down in one of his notebooks after confirming that he had my attention. He had a slight look of confusion on his face as he wrote out his question.

How do you solve this equation again, letters in math don’t make sense at all. I smiled gently before grabbing my own set of notes to explain how to solve the problem. What I failed to notice was a certain sword user was looking at us. I didn’t see the hint of envy in his eyes as I leaned close to our friend to teach him the math problem.

After about another hour of studying math we all decided to take a short break, we all moved to the small table I had in my room to eat some chips and drink some energy drinks cause we all knew it was going to be a long night. While drinking my rockstar I started a conversation with Toge, just checking to make sure he understood the material we were studying after I had helped with his previous question. I once again failed to pay attention to the other things happening around me, as Yuta was once again watching the interaction between me and our friend.

It seemed that even though I missed the look of jealousy flash across his face, a certain green haired woman definitely saw it and decided now would be the perfect time to have some fun.

P.O.V switch (3rd person)

Maki wasn’t normally the kind of person to meddle in other people's lives but when it came to embarrassing Yuta, that was fair game in her mind. He just made it so easy. Watching the look of jealousy flash across his face as two of their friends talked about math two feet away just lite a fire in her mind and she just wanted to poke the bear.

“Hey Yuta” she said, tapping his shoulder pulling his attention away from the two friends. “You think Inumaki and Y/L/N would make a good couple? I mean they get along so well, and Y/n seems to understand Toge perfectly despite his limited vocabulary.” She asked, trying to get a reaction out of the shy boy.

“Ummm- I- I’m not sure, I mean maybe, I don’t see why not” Yuta hesitated as he scratched the back of his head nervously. Maki could hear the slight sadness in his voice as he forced himself to agree.

“I mean I wouldn’t be surprised if they were secretly dating already, he’s had their attention all night, They have barely even spoken to any of us but him.” Maki continued trying to get more of a reaction out of the poor boy.

Hearing the conversation Panda also decided it was time to poke fun at Yuta. “Maki’s right Yuta, I haven’t seen Y/n this focused since Gojo let us pick anything in the mall for him to buy.”

Yuta turned back towards his two friends who were now chuckling about something he hadn’t heard. “You guys are probably right, they look really happy together.” He said with a frown before moving back to his seat in the circle of textbooks and notes. After everyone had got done snacking they all moved back to the floor to keep studying.

P.O.V back to first person

After another couple hours almost everyone had passed out on the floor of my dorm. It was getting close to three in the morning so it was understandable, but what shocked me most was that me and Yuta are the last two awake. Normally Yuta is the first one to fall asleep and fall victim to Toges trash doodling, but I guess having his weapons taken made the light haired boy not care about being the last one awake. I’m still confused as to why Yuta was awake but I brushed it off as him just wanting to study longer.

I was almost done with a note card for our history exams when I heard Yuta clear his throat. I looked up at him prompting him to say what he was going to as the look on his face said he wanted to say something.

“I- Is- urgh- Is there anything going on between you and Inumaki?” I stared confused at my friend as he asked one of the weirdest questions I’ve heard in awhile.

Finally gaining the ability to process thoughts again. “What do you mean, Me and Toge are just friends, where is this coming from anyway?” I asked, really confused as to why yuta would think I liked Toge that way. Sure he was a great friend but that’s all he is to me, a friend. If I liked anyone it’d be Yuta, he’s sweet, caring and always knows how to cheer people up.

“W- well you guys seem really close, and you’ve spent most of the night chatting with him, and it’s like you can understand everything he says even though he doesn't speak normally.” I watched as Yuta started to get flustered. “I-i just assumed you liked him, and I mean it’s fine if you do, I was just curious.”

“Yuta there is nothing going on between me and Toge. I’ve been chatting with him all night because he’s dyslexic and was having trouble with the fact that some math problems have letters in them.” I said, trying to explain myself. “And as for understanding him, I’ve known him for a long time, I’ve learned to use context clues when talking to him. If everyone is having a happy conversation, he’s probably also trying to share in the joy. He also will text or write down stuff he has to say that he can’t express properly with onigiri ingredients.”

“Okay that makes sense, but when everyone was eating you guys were laughing there’s no way you were laughing about an algebra problem?” Yuta responded, still trying to figure everything out.

I blushed slightly, I know exactly what he’s talking about. When we were all up getting snacks, Toge had written a message in his book about the fact that he thought Yuta had a crush on me because he keeps staring at me; I was laughing because I thought it was absurd, there’s no way Yuta likes me. I mean yeah it’s weird that he seems so concerned about the status of mine and Toge’s friendship but he’s probably just being protective.

“Oh, Toge was just telling me about something stupid that he watched one of the first years do earlier.” I said, trying to brush it off. But I guess I failed at hiding the blush on my cheeks because Yuta didn’t drop it.

He looked at me skeptically before grabbing the abandoned notebook that sat by Toge’s sleeping face, Flipping through to the most recent pages. I tried to reach for his hand to stop him but I was too late. He was already reading one half of my previous conversation.

“Yuta, you shouldn’t be doing that, it's Toge’s book, put it back.” I tried to reason with him as I watched his eyes widen as he continued reading Toge’s comments to me about finally confessing my feelings to the boy with cursed power that was only second to that of Satoru Gojo.

After what felt like an eternity of waiting for his reaction Yuta just set the notebook down and smiled at me. “You know, he was right, you should have just told me sooner. It would have saved us both some trouble and I would have been able to do this a lot sooner.” He said leaning closer to me. I was about to ask what he meant but I was cut off by the feeling of his soft lips meeting mine. It was quick but still conveyed every emotion neither of us had the courage to put into words.

As we pulled apart Yuta looked into my eyes, “I’ve liked you for a while now, if you don’t mind after exams are done I would love to take you out for lunch some time. I-if you want to t-that is.” And just like that he was back to the stuttering mess I fell in love with.

“Yuta, I would love to go out with you.” I responded standing up and grabbing his hand. I pulled him up and stepped over our three friends, passed out on the floor and moved to my bed. Normally when these study sessions turned into sleep overs, everyone would sleep on the floor except the person who’s room it was, but I figured fuck it. This is my room and if I want to cuddle with my new boyfriend, I will. “Come on we should really get some sleep” I said as i sat down on my bed sliding towards the wall to give him space to lay down with me.

“A-are you sure, I mean I'm fine sleeping on the floor. Plus won’t they think it’s weird if they wake up and we’re sharing your bed?” Yuta asked, a massive blush on his face as he slowly sat down on the edge of my.

“Oh stop worrying about it, just lay down and sleep. We’ll deal with them tomorrow, they’ll find out one way or another. Also it’s my room. I make the rules, if they don’t like it, well sucks to suck.” I said pulling him to lay next to me. Realizing I’m serious, Yuta finally relaxes. I let out a relaxed sigh as I cuddled up to him and finally let sleep take over.

[kudzu-san]

If you ask me who in the whole animanga is the most selfish character, without thinking twice, I'd immidiately say Luffy. In the end of every situation and decision, unless at times where it really can't be helped like the Going Merry and Usopp situation in Water 7 and without Zoro's intervention (he may be the only one that can keep Luffy on leash to a certain extent), it all really just lead back to his guts. He's impulsive as fuck and he doesn't like thinking that much. Every punch roots from his wants and emotions. I'm gonna punch you 'cause I wanna beat your ass to dust 'cause you did something I don't fucking like but I'll do it in a way you won't die that you have to live your whole life from this point on with your dreams crushed before your eyes forever. Why again? Oh, because you did something I don't like :/ ! Post-timeskip Luffy has kind of developed and improved somehow that side of his, he thinks a bit now, not thinking makes his loved people disappear, he thinks a little now. But pre-timeskip Luffy especially—boy's unhinged. I think the Netflix live action tried to show his selfishness amidst being this obvious sentimental dude through Nami's dialogues like "This is the real me, Luffy. This is just what you don't think and want me to be in your dang head." but I don't think that's not even Luffy's way of selfishness, you know? He doesn't really assume. Sometimes, he doesn't care what you think or what's going on, your lore and stuff. All he knows is that he wants you. "Evil" or not you are. Or whatever the hell. You're just Nami he met the very first episode and the ship's navigator. That kind of stuff, he definitely assumes. Your part in his life, but he'll never dictate your life or your own person. But say no and he'll give up. Nami practically said kys when they tried to pursue her, and maybe that wasn't the no Luffy needed to hear. He's got a good nose, is intuitive, stubborn, and impulsive. People would add "emotionally intellegent" in there but not me. That boy gets angry and one second you'll find yourself being gum gum no gatlinged. That boy gets happy and it's... just a mess. I think what people meant though is, he's extremely empathetic. So bad. Half of the time he was angry, it's on behalf of you. Half his punches, are your own fists. He's dumb, okay? But he feels SO MUCH he can see through everything. Like solving a mathematical equation, skipping the solutions, and just arriving to the final answer. You're sad—I don't know why and maybe I don't even wanna know why, I don't think it matters cos in the end—that doesn't sit right with me. The fact that you're sad. The bottom point. So I'm gonna do stuff about it. I forgot why I wrote this, I just wanted to talk about Luffy help. But yeah. This is what I think about, my feelings about him which I can put into words.

[korset2019]

Eight Plus One

Posted in Latest Developments on March 4, 2005

By Aaron Forsythe

First things first, there are three things I'm not going to talk about in this column—the banning of Skullclamp in Singleton, the lack of changes to the Legacy and Extended formats, and the legalization of Portal and Starter cards. The first because it's pretty obvious, and the other two because there are bigger fish to fry. I plan to follow this column up with a catch-all next week, and I'll go over those topics there. On to the big news…

The Standard Bannings

The banning of eight cards in Standard (and, to a lesser extent, the restricting of Trinisphere in Vintage) has polarized the game's audience. There are those that simply love what we've done with the place, while others believe us to be insane, dumb, greedy, or some combination of the three. So what happened between December 1st and March 1st?

Was Standard that bad? Was the format actually not diverse enough, and not solvable enough? Looked at purely analytically, the format probably wasn't that bad. Decks emerged that could beat Affinity. You could play something other than Affinity or Tooth and Nail and have a decent chance to succeed. If the DCI attempted to solve every issue as if it were a complicated math problem, we very well might have done nothing again.

After all, banning cards is bad, and we only want to ban cards if a format was lopsided enough to warrant action, which Standard may not have been. The best deck only won X% of the time, was beaten by the second-best deck Y% of the time, and decks #3, 4, and 5 were all played in reasonable numbers. If we like the math, no problem. Just like last time.

But in the past three months R&D and the DCI have been reminded that Magic is not a series of balanced equations, spreadsheets of Top 8 results and data of card frequencies. Magic is a game played by human beings that want to have fun.

One of the most damning statements that can be made about a game is that it is not fun, and that's exactly what we've been hearing lately about Standard. Sure, ever since Affinity first showed up after the release of Mirrodin (and more so after it was revamped and supercharged with the release of Darksteel), people complained about it. I have plenty of anecdotal evidence in my inbox of people quitting Magic, threatening to quit, or stepping away from Standard for some amount of time because of the dark cloud of Affinity—and believe me, each of those emails made me unhappy—but recently the evidence of the general public's disdain for what the format looks like has gone from anecdotal to measurable. With some of the biggest Standard events of the year—Regionals, Nationals, and Worlds—on the horizon, how many more players could we continue to frustrate and alienate?

We know what to do if a format is horribly unbalanced, but what do we do when it is equally unfun? As much as I'd like to hire clowns to make balloon animals at every Friday Night Magic, we're stuck using more traditional means of damage control—the Banned and Restricted Lists.

At this point I hope it is becoming clearer why we did what we did, but I'll keep explaining anyway.

Going in to our meetings that would ultimately lead to this eight-card ban, we knew the goal was to make a statement. We had to alter the reality of the format, but we also had to let the world know without a doubt that we “slew the dragon” as it were. Affinity had to go away, and everyone that was having doubts about the future of Standard needed to understand it. With that thought, we came to an agreement to ban the five Mirrodin artifact lands.

Affinity had to go away, and everyone that was having doubts about the future of Standard needed to understand it.

Those five, we reasoned, would do the job thoroughly—Affinity couldn't exist without its skeleton, right? We knew such a ban would affect other decks, primarily Krark-Clan Ironworks, but that deck was guilty by association as far as we were concerned. If we somehow managed to remove Ravager Affinity from the environment—and just Ravager Affinity—I have little doubt that KCI would have stepped right in to the vacated “public enemy #1” slot, won lots and lots of games way earlier than it had any right to, and still forced players to maindeck multiple copies of Oxidize, March of the Machines, and the like. Sweeping change to the format? Not hardly. So KCI getting a little residual hate was not a sticking point for us.

The big issue was the one I brought up in December (and I quote): “We like to avoid having to solve problems by banning cards, as that leads to a culture of fear. We certainly don't want people to start believing that all the good cards they own are in the crosshairs of the DCI. With that in mind, can you imagine the weird backlash that would happen if we banned artifact lands? Most players that aren't into the tournament scene would have no idea at all why we did this. Tree of Tales is banned?! It's one of the most powerful cards ever?! Are you kidding me?! While it would certainly solve the problem on the top end, it would alienate and confuse people elsewhere.” Although it may seem hard to believe at the moment, all that stuff is still true. I feel for casual players everywhere who can no longer discard a land to Thirst for Knowledge, and I pity those that will have to explain this event to them—store owners, local TO's, and our poor customer service department. But it came down to risk versus reward, and we have to hope that our casual audience is more resilient than our tournament audience.

You can't please all of the people all of the time, although heaven knows we try.

We walked out of the meeting planning to ban just the lands (at which point I wrote my teaser article three weeks ago), but some vigilant playtesting quickly showed that such a move would have been a mistake. We made Ravager Affinity decks that ran off Chrome Mox, Paradise Mantle, Blinkmoth Nexus, Aether Vial, and Darksteel Citadel among other things, which were still good enough to win lots of games against other current real-world Standard decks.

Unacceptable. The worst thing that could happen, in our eyes, would be for people to come back to Standard, full of hope and under the impression that Affinity was dead, only to lose to a weaker-but-still-potent Affinity deck in Round 1 of Regionals. So we had to keep pruning. The Citadel was the next to go, but it still wasn't enough. Arcbound Ravager—the deck's namesake—could not dodge the executioner's axe any longer. Our now ramshackle Atog Affinity decks were still showing slight signs of life, and the final piece of adding Disciple to the list—although heavily debated—was agreed upon. Of all the cards banned, I feel the fewest tears will be shed for Disciple, for it was quickly becoming one of the most frustrating and hated cards in the game.

We tried nominating other combinations of cards for banning as well, including some combination of Ravager, Disciple, Cranial Plating, Ironworks, and Aether Vial, but they all seemed like bans that would balance the format for those that were continuing to play it without sending a clear enough message to those that had forsaken it. And again, I quote from my December article: “There's no way for us to be sure that if we banned some or all of the 'marquee' Ravager Affinity cards that other cards wouldn't just spring up and take their places…. What happens in that world? We ban some cards, which inherently makes people mad, and we don't even change the format that much.”

Six lands, Arcbound Ravager, and Disciple of the Vault—you may see it as overkill, but to us it was a necessity.

Trinisphere

I could repeat many of the paragraphs above with some of the words changed to cover the Vintage changes, but I think I'd rather summarize instead.

Trinisphere is a nasty card, no bones about it. It does ridiculous things in Vintage, especially combined with Mishra's Workshop. As I've said in a previous column, we almost restricted it before it was even released.

Now that it has been floating around for a while, the Vintage crowd understands that the card does good things for the format, and bad things to the format. While it does serve a role of keeping combo decks in check, it also randomly destroys people on turn one, with little recourse other than Force of Will. And those games end up labeled with that heinous word—unfun. Not just “I lost” unfun, but “Why did I even come here to play?” unfun. The power level of the card is no jokes either, which is a big reason why I don't feel bad about its restriction.

Vintage, like the other formats with large card pools, always runs the risk of becoming non-interactive, meaning the games are little more than both players “goldfishing” to see who can win first. Trinisphere adds to that problem by literally preventing the opponent from playing spells. We don't want Magic to be about that, especially not that easily. If combo rears its head, we'll worry about it later. But for now, we want to people to play their cards. Really.

What does all this mean for the future? What's getting banned next? The answers, I hope, are “nothing” and “nothing.” This radical change should fix things for the foreseeable future. We've made significant changes in our entire R&D process over the last couple years—everything from design philosophy to our playtesting regimen have been overhauled at least somewhat since the days of Mirrodin—cold comfort in times like this, I know, but true nonetheless. We aren't making some sort of policy change that will have us banning cards based on perception over reality down the road, so expect business as usual on that front. We made a bold move and can only hope it works out, for our sake and yours.

I really, really, really hope you all enjoy Constructed Magic for the next eight months.

[annabelle-creart]

we listen, we don´t judge

Moroco in season 4 was kind of stupid, I get it, but guys, it was an AI, and all AIs in TFRB are kind of stupid, the only one that does exactly what everyone needed was the baby, and is a fucking baby!

the time travel to get Moroco out of the equation was cool and everything but kind of stupid for the plot, to have the real him would be even funnier and better (at least they didn´t fix everything with time travel, that would be shitty, but if that happened, Chase should definitely be the only one who remember, the rest would make it hard to deal)

Cody is a cutie and a potato, but he and Boulder should get angrier more, and not just upset, like, angry (goddamit, let the kid swear, and Heatwave and Boulder too)

Boulder and Heatwave would be a cute pair but only as possibility, is hard for me to admit but Heatwave has more chemistry with Quickshadow and Chase (especially with Chase) (which is shitty for me each time I rewatch the series but I must admit instead of deny to enjoy, I just made peace with the fact)

Nonetheless, as I´ve seen in Arcane´s fandom, platonic mlm also exists, people, I know you love your gay ships (including me) but friendship and other type of relationships also exist, is okay if you ship the bots with the humans or the bots with the others but remember romance is not the only type of relationship that exist (I just say it because ALL the transformers fandom likes yaoi too much, and that´s okay but platonic also deserves to be highlighted)

even if the TFRB staff wanted to make BumbleBlades real, the mothefuckers are sooooooo dumb at making romance, and having in mind Bee even dissapeared from Blades´ life for LONG TIME... well, is more benefit for the fandom that they wrote it like it´s just admiration

guys, I love BumbleBlades too, but we´re forgetting Bee DISSAPEARED from Blades´ life WITHOUT SAYING A WORD, HE DIED IN TFP, HE GOT A NEW VOICE BOX, A NEW TEAM AND BLADES DIDN´T KNEW UNTIL THE IDIOT CRASHED ON MAINLAND!! we have to respect more our helicopter boy, he deserves more and better, just take that on mind

Charlie and Chase are better as father and son than as boyfriends

we deserved more T-rex OP in screen, and also more of dinobot Bee, same with the cadets

Blurr and Salvage are traumatized teens, and none of them (specially Blurr) were qualified to train other cadets (or even get on field without supervision that easily)

Quickshadow needed more development, I don´t get how she passed from spy to rescue bot in less than a season, and no, to say she maybe was a rescue bot before doesn´t solve the problem, she Had been a spy for Optimus too much time, she´s out of practice

WHERE IS MY EPISODE OF THE TEAM PAST???? I KNOW IS FUNNIER AND EASY TO JUST MAKE LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED SO WE CAN FILL THE VOID WITH FANFIC BUT DUDE, HEATWAVE WAS THREE TIME LOBBING CHAMP?? BOULDER DIDN´T KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT PAINTING? WAS BLADES A PROTECTOBOT BEFORE THE RESCUE TEAM??? WHAT MADE CHASE THINK HE NEEDS TO BE USEFUL ALL THE TIME????? we were denied more lore, never forget that

High Tide deserved a better redemption arc, the asshole treated the team too hard and it wasn´t even for them to be good, he didn´t liked the team and that was obvious

Heatwave is a great father? I don´t know, he´s a great support for Cody and the robo-baby confirmed he likes kids but he´s also too proud, and I think we should explore more why Heatwave, despite he likes younglings, is so damned rough with himself about it

I think we all recognize which person is which here on this fandom by the ships they like, we recognize Gelu because of Priss and Cody, we do recognize Sugar because of HeatShadow, Lipgloss with BoulWave and Bagel with Graham x Katy, Frost with Graham and Boulder (at least I started recognizing who did or reblogged the thing by the ship even before I did because of the art style :,D)

I think is cool to theorize about Cody´s mom, but the series is way better cool without her, I´m glad for it (and if you don´t like the comment, let´s pretend Heatwave is Cody´s mom)

and I think that´s all I have to say :v if you made it this far is because you´re my real and I love you, good night

I've made a post like this some time ago on twitter but decided to take it here

We listen and we don't judge: transformers rescue bots edition

Mine is that graham burns is super hot and sexy and that he should marry me 😁😁

[shemarmooresfedora]

hi baby congratulations on 300!!!🥳 i’m so glad to be here ! 💗🤍💗🤍✨⭐️

you know i’m obsessed w ur fics so, i am gently begging you to write something w prompts “can i paint your nails” “i’m going to steal this from you” and “people don’t compliment you enough” (sorry i forgot the numbers :( ) pleeeease? 🥺🥺

(sorry if it’s too much) thanks, i love u <3

It’s a Love Story

Summary: It’s senior skip day and you’re determined to pull your best friend of 10 years (and secret crush) out of his comfort zone.

Pairing: High School Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (but imagine Spencer is 18 so he is the normal high school senior age)

Content/Warnings: fluff, swearing, bullying

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: this fic is very self-indulgent because my senior skip day was yesterday! :)

Masterlist



“Hey, Spence! Wait up,” you jogged down the hall to catch up with him.

“Hey, Y/N. How’d your math test go?” Spencer asked.

“I’d rather not talk about it,” you groaned, “Thank you for trying to tutor me last night but I think I’m a lost cause at this point. It’s too late in the school year to care.”

“Did you know that ‘senioritis’ can actually be categorized as situational depression? In 2009, 22% of colleges decided to revoke some admissions offers after students began to slack off at the end of their senior year,” Spencer stated.

“Oh, trust me, genius, I may not be as smart as you but I’m not dumb enough to lose my scholarship to UCLA. I did the math out and even if I completely bombed this unit test, I can still maintain my A average,” you replied.

“I never said you weren’t smart, I was just warning you. I don’t want you to lose your spot at your dream school,” Spencer explained, “People don’t compliment you enough for all the hard work you put in to get accepted there.”

“Well, thanks for looking out for me, Spence,” you smiled, taking a seat in the back corner of the classroom.

Spencer sat right in front of you and turned around in his seat, “Do you have any homework?”

“Nope. My study hall is wide open just as expected. The teachers are losing just as much steam as the students,” you grinned, unzipping your backpack and pulling out nail polish.

“Can I paint your nails?” you asked.

“Y/N, don’t you think I get made fun of enough?” he whispered back.

“Girls love when guys paint their nails and if any guys try to give you shit, I’ll personally kick their ass. I took a self-defense course but I’ll use those moves I learned however I see fit,” you said.

“Fine,” Spencer relented, extending his hand out to you.

Spencer was honestly sold once you said that girls love it. That must include you, right?

“It’s purple too. Your favorite color,” you smiled, shaking the bottle up and then beginning to paint his nails.

Spencer thought it was cute that you picked up on his habit of sticking your tongue out of the corner of your mouth when you were concentrating.

“Isn’t it pretty?” you beamed as you worked on the second coat of polish.

“Yeah,” Spencer replied, not looking at his nails but the girl directly in front of him.

You gently blew air on his nails to dry them, “All done!”

-

“Well, well, well if it isn’t the teacher’s pet?” Brad, the captain of the football team, smirked as Spencer passed through the hallways after his math team practice ended.

“Wow, nail polish? And to think you couldn’t become any more of a loser?” he sneered as the jocks began to encircle around Spencer.

“Spence, there you are! I’ve been looking for you all over. Let’s go, we’re going to be late,” you walked right into the crowd of boys, paying no mind to them and grabbing Spencer’s hand, pulling him towards the exit.

“Don’t look back,” you whispered.

“You know one day your little girlfriend there is going to realize what a pathetic nerd you are. I’ll be ready to show her what a real man is,” Brad called after you.

“Oh yes, Brad, a real man goes to community college to hang on to the scraps of his mediocre football career that is his only reminder of when he peaked in high school,” you laughed.

“Y/N, he’s going to kill me for that,” Spencer groaned after you exited the building.

“Relax, we have three days left and then we won’t ever have to see that dick again,” you assured him.

“We have four days left,” Spencer corrected you.

“No, three because we’re not going in tomorrow,” you walked into the diner and took your seat in your usual booth, “It’s senior skip day.”

When Spencer didn’t respond, you looked up from your menu, “Spencer Reid, please do not tell me you were going to go in on senior skip day.”

“Why would I want to miss school?”

“Because you already know everything they could possibly teach you and you can spend the whole day with your best friend instead?” you fluttered your eyelashes to persuade him.

“I don’t want to go to the beach with all the popular kids. I’ll get shoved in the sand,” Spencer grabbed some of the fries that the waitress dropped off for you and popped them into his mouth.

“That is why we are going all the way to Santa Monica. We’ll just get up a little earlier and drive a little further but then we won’t run into anyone from our school,” you proposed.

“Fine but you’re driving,” Spencer huffed.

“Well, I’m certainly not letting the guy drive who hasn’t driven since he got his license just to prove he could pass,” you giggled.

“Why do I need to drive when my next-door neighbor can be my personal chauffeur?” he grinned.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll pick you up at 7 on the dot tomorrow.”

-

You honked outside of Spencer’s house. He came scrambling out with a big canvas tote bag, a tan sweater, and lilac swim shorts that ended at his mid-thigh.

“Get in, loser. We’re going to the beach,” you rolled down the window.

Spencer furrowed his brow for a second before opening the door.

“It’s just a reference to a popular movie. I wasn’t actually calling you a loser,” you assured him.

“My mom made us blueberry muffins for the ride,” Spencer pulled a ziploc bag out of the tote.

“Oh that is so sweet of her! Please tell her I said thank you. She must have been having a good night then,” you smiled, accepting one of the muffins from Spencer.

“Yes, she has been having a good week overall,” Spencer affirmed.

“That’s so great to hear. Okay, we’re stopping for coffee but then we’ll get on the highway.”

The opening notes of Love Story by Taylor Swift began to play on the radio.

“Oh my god! Turn it up!” you screamed.

Spencer grinned and turned the volume knob up.

“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess. It's a love story, baby, just say ‘yes’,” you sang.

-

You rolled down the windows as soon as you exited off the highway.

“Do you smell that, Spence?” you inhaled deeply, “Something about the salty air and sunshine just makes me feel alive.”

“You know it’s probably your increased exposure to the sunlight leading to an increase in vitamin D which can keep your energy levels up and enhance your mood,” Spencer stated.

“Well, whatever it is, I still love it,” you grinned.

You and Spencer made your way along the sandy coast. You parked in the beach parking lot and got out of the car, grabbing your mini cooler and chair.

Spencer grabbed the other chair and his tote and you headed down to the beach, walking a ways before settling on a spot in a less crowded area.

You took off your big t-shirt revealing your light blue bikini.

“Can we go in the water please?” you begged.

Spencer dug into his tote and tossed you a tube of sunscreen.

“Not until you put that on,” Spencer insisted.

“Fine,” you huffed.

“Sorry I don’t want you to be sunburnt for graduation,” he chuckled.

“Can you do my back?” you asked.

“I-um-yeah-yes I can do that,” Spencer scrambled to stand up from his beach chair.

His breath hitched in his throat as he applied the cool lotion to your back.

“All good,” he cleared his throat.

“Thanks, Spence! Do you need me to do your back or are you all set?” you asked.

“Nope, I’m all good. My mom did it before I left,” Spencer said.

“Can we go in the water now?” you pleaded.

Spencer gave a reluctant nod as you let out an excited squeal, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the tide.

You dove right into the cool waves, instantly relieving your body of the southern californian summer heat. Spencer was a bit more hesitant.

“It feels so good, Spence. Trust me,” you smoothed your wet hair back.

Spencer inhaled deeply and then sunk beneath the water as a wave passed by him.

“Yay! He’s actually having fun, people!” you cheered as he emerged from underneath the water.

Spencer playfully splashed water at you and you gasped.

“Oh Spencer Reid, you are so on,” you laughed, splashing water right back at him.

Spencer shielded it from his face with his hand and then started chasing after you. You shrieked in a giggle fit as he lifted you up in the water so you could no longer splash him.

“I surrender! I surrender!” you laughed along with him.

-

You and Spencer were walking on the basically deserted boardwalk by this time of night, licking your ice cream cones.

Spencer noticed you were shivering and pulled off his sweater, handing it to you.

“No, Spence. I can’t, then you’ll be cold,” you said.

“I really don’t mind,” Spencer insisted, wanting to have your scent on his sweater forever.

“Thank you,” you slipped it over your head, “I’m probably going to steal this from you because it’s super comfy.”

A reminder alert buzzed on your phone, “Oh shit. We have to sign up for tickets to go to prom by midnight,” you spoke.

Spencer shot you a guilty look.

“You’re not going?” you sighed defeatedly, trying your hardest not to tear up.

“Y/N, I don’t dance. I’ll make a fool of myself.”

“And I’ll be right by your side making a fool of myself too,” you urged, “Spence, it’s going to be no fun without you. I was going to ask you to officially be my date, you know? I had this whole complicated equation that I was going to have you solve and graph and the line spelled out ‘Prom?’. It’s stupid thinking back on it now, I won’t make you go.”

“I was going to ask you,” Spencer smiled softly, “but then I chickened out.”

“How about this? You give me one dance right now and then we’ll decide if we’re going or not,” you opened your phone and started playing Dancing by Mellow Fellow.

Spencer extended his hand and you accepted as he wrapped his other arm around your waist. You waltzed around the boardwalk in perfect sync as the neon lights from food stands and rides were shining down on you.

Spencer twirled you around and caught you in a dip. You let out a shaky exhale as you both stared into each other’s eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered.

“Please do. I’ve only been waiting 10 years for it since I moved in next door,” you smiled softly.

Spencer leaned down further and connected your lips. You pulled him even closer with your hands cupping his cheeks.

“I’ll go to prom with you under one condition,” he grinned, pulling away, “we go as boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Absolutely,” you beamed and stood on your tippy-toes to give him another kiss that was long overdue.

A/N: i took a note out of my dear friend @samuel-de-champagne-problems ‘s book by naming the title after a Taylor Swift song

taglist (just ask to be added or removed!): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @g0lden-cth @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @harrystylesandthegoobs @cmily @rem-ariiana

[all1e23]

Between the Stars [Pt.6]

Pairings: Past!Steve x Reader, Bucky x  Reader

Series warnings: CHARACTER DEATH. Grief. Overall sadness. Depression. It’s pretty angsty if I’m being honest. Things mellow out as the series goes on. TW: Military/Spouse death

A/N:  Good news! We are finally getting out of the terrible sadness! As a reminder, we are back to reader POV for this chapter. This chapter has a slight flashback from the last night and picks up right where the chapter ends.   Thanks to my beautiful beta @moonbeambucky​​ for looking this chapter over for me. If you like it write me a book report, sing me a song or come scream at me. 

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!****

When Natasha showed up this morning with iced coffee and a box of doughnuts, you were relieved and a little excited -- not just because she got the chocolate fudge one you like. Natasha had yet to stop by since arriving home, and it was nice to see with your own eyes that she truly was alive and back home for good. There was always this unease until you could see a returning soldier in person; really see that they were home safe and sound, so seeing your old friend did settle a tiny part of the restlessness in your heart. And outside of the random visits from Wanda before Bucky came home, you haven’t seen much of your friends and family. It all felt forced when you did manage a visit with them and after a few weeks of exhausting lunches and house calls, you simply stopped answering your door and left your phone on silent. It took too much energy to pretend, and you didn't have that much to spare nowadays. 

After caffeine and baked goods, Bucky mentioned he had a few things he needed to take care of, stopping by his mom’s and an errand or two with Sam. Despite having Natasha there, you didn't want Bucky to go. He's rarely left your side since he came home, and there was a sense of peace knowing he was only a shout away. It was nice not to be completely alone, but Bucky couldn’t be there forever, and you knew that. He would eventually get a place of his own, figure out what he was doing with his life and move on. 

Just like everyone else was doing, everyone but you.

Sooner or later, Bucky would no longer live in the bedroom down the hall, he would get a new job, and new life, and you would still be stuck, unable to move past the life you lost. So, you let him leave without a hint of hesitation on your part. Natasha seemed to sense something was off because the moment Bucky left, she asked how you were handling everything and, more importantly, how were you handling everything with Bucky. You didn't love her spying on a regular day, but you especially didn’t like it today. What was that supposed to mean anyway? Why would she even bring Bucky into the equation? You didn't ask because you honestly didn't want to hear her answer. 

You had enough to deal with. 

Natasha caught onto your annoyance fairly quickly and changed the subject, leaving both questions unanswered. She could figure out the answer for herself if she looked hard enough. While the dark circles under your eyes had faded thanks to your nights with Bucky, you saw how empty your eyes looked -- she could solve that mystery without help. You felt bad at first. Natasha was only trying to help, but everyone was “only trying to help,” and no one actually helped. No one but Bucky. He was the only one that made you feel… well, he made you more than the nothing that’s consumed you for months on end. You were less numb when he was around, things felt less empty, and your chest no longer felt as hollow. You felt more like yourself, or whatever new version of yourself you were now. Without Steve, you could never be yourself again, but Bucky made you feel like this version you were forced into wouldn't be so bad. 

The ice between you and Natasha thawed the more she talked, and you relaxed some. Your laughs were still forced, and the exhaustion a performance like that brought on began to weigh you down after a few hours. You were grateful when she said she had to go and pick up dinner for Clint -- Pizza and cinnamon twists from the place in town. At the time, you wondered if you could talk Bucky into picking you up some instead of cooking. But now that he was home standing in front of you with what was supposedly your piano perched behind him, all you wanted to do was shove those cinnamon sticks down his throat till he chokes. 

“Hey there, Trouble. Sorry, I’m late. I had to make a stop.” 

You should have known he wasn’t going to simply drop it, it didn’t matter that it had been months since you sold the damn thing. It’s not in Bucky to let things go. He had to fix things. Bucky stood there, waiting for you were sure was your reaction and when your eyes darkened, he appeared to expect it. 

“How fucking dare you,” you seethed.

Bucky took a deep breath and braced himself as you crossed the room, barreling towards him with a look he’s only seen once before in his life -- the night he told you he was joining the Army alongside Steve.  

“Who the hell do you think you are? I didn’t ask you to get the damn thing back! I don't want it!”

“Y/n, I know you think you have to feel that way--”

"I’m going to stop you right there, James. You don't get to tell me what I feel now or what I should feel six months from now.”

Bucky took a deep breath, and after a second, he corrected himself. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, and I know you know that. I only meant--  All you’ve wanted to do since I met you was play, your dad bought her for you. I’ve spent more nights than I could ever keep track of, listening to you play on the damn thing. This isn’t about Steve. She’s got more than memories of Steve attached to her. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself to be a good wife to Steve.”

You wanted to scoff at the suggestion, but maybe you were punishing yourself. Even if you were it didn’t matter. You didn’t want it in your house. You didn’t need a reminder of all the ways you failed Steve, your marriage, and yourself. You didn’t need to be reminded how off-track your life has become and how sixteen-year-old you would be devastated to see the person you’ve turned into in Steve's absence. 

“I don’t want to play anymore, and I don’t want any of the Goddamn memories.”

“Bullshit.”

You narrowed your eyes, but Bucky stood his ground and stared back at you, no hint that he was going to back down. Bucky’s always been different from Steve. Steve would have apologized, told you he could get it out of the house if that was what you really wanted. He may have even followed through with that if only to hide it somewhere until you came around, but Bucky wasn't going to do that. Yes, he was gentle, softer with you than with anyone else, but in moments like this, things were different. He wasn’t afraid to push back a little, to challenge you if he had to. 

“You’re a stubborn ass, you know that?” you snapped back. 

“I’m a stubborn ass?” Bucky challenged, brows raised, and a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “Have you looked in a mirror, sweetheart?”

You weren’t in the mood for some cute verbal sparring match. You were exhausted, and you ached all over. All you had wanted from the moment you woke up this morning was a quiet night with Bucky, maybe watch some trashy movie that allowed you to forget for a few hours and possibly allow you to get some sleep, but none of that was likely now. 

“Get the damn thing out of my house, and you can go stay with Sam. I don’t care. Just get out and leave me alone.”

You turned to head back upstairs, but your anger quickly resurfaced with each step towards the stairs, you swiftly swung back around catching your second wind and stomped towards him and Bucky was still standing there as if he expected you to do exactly what you were doing. You wanted to hate him for knowing you that well. 

“You know, you have no right, Bucky. I am grieving in my own way, and I don’t… I gave it away, okay?! I don’t want it, and you’re an a-asshole for bringing it b-back and forcing me to relive it a-all.”

Bucky stepped forward when your voice trembled but kept an arm’s distance between you. He could reach out and touch you if he thought that was what you wanted, but he wouldn’t until he was sure it was okay to do so.

“You about done? Get it all out?” He asked, much softer this time around. 

That soft heart of his always found its way back at just the right time.  

“Yes,” you spat back, it didn’t come out angry as you hoped. You sounded tired. 

You were just so tired of everything.   

Bucky slowly reached out and took your hand, pulling you towards the dreaded instrument in question. You let him drag you towards the bench and didn’t fight him when he gave you a playful nudge towards the keys. You rolled your eyes but let your free hand land on the keys, one following the other as the notes consumed the stale air of your living room, you never admit to his face, but you already felt a little better. Bucky let go of your hand, and you stepped closer to make sure it was, in fact, yours -- not that you thought Bucky would ever lie to you or try to trick you like that. 

He cared about you far too much to hurt you like that. 

Bucky broke the tautness between you with an easy smile and filled you in on some of his trip. “You'll be happy to know the little girl I bought it back from said my hair looked dumb.”

You snorted. 

“It does look dumb.”

Bucky grinned at your playfulness. That’s been showing up more and more as of late, and he was more than willing to encourage it. 

”Now, you’re just being mean, Trouble. It takes a long time to grow it out. What am I supposed to do, huh?”

You looked up from the white and black keys, grinning as your fingers played on their own accord. No real thought to the rhythm, but it was clear it was one they have memorized.  

“Fine,” you conceded with feigned exasperation.”"You look handsome. Happy?” 

“Handsome, huh?” Bucky mused, that self-satisfied grin on his face as he toyed with your words in his head, and you couldn’t help but get annoyed. As if he didn't know. 

“Oh, shut up. You know you're good looking.” 

Bucky laughed suddenly, surprised by your words, and it made you smile. You’ve always liked that laugh, the one he gives when he’s caught off guard; his eyes light up with that spark, his nose scrunches up, and his smile is so big you’re sure his cheeks hurt. 

“I ain’t denying it. Just didn’t think you thought so.”

Your fingers faltered, and A sharp was hit by mistake, piercing your ears and Buckys from the grimace he made. It’s been a long time since you thought of Bucky in that way, not that he hasn’t always been attractive, and he’s only become more beautiful as he aged, but standing in front of him now made you feel shy and uncertain for some reason. How had he not known you’ve always found him beautiful? This wasn’t something you should be thinking, let alone saying out loud. You shouldn’t see Bucky that way or anyone for that matter. 

It was unfair to your marriage and to Steve.

Bucky shook his head as if he was annoyed with himself because he was thinking the same things you were, and he lifted his dusty black boot towards the bottom of the piano to change the subject or maybe to clear the uncomfortable tightness that returned to the room and forget their moment of disloyalty. 

“Come on.”

You followed Bucky without protest; both of you slipped under the piano lying shoulder to shoulder, staring up at the unpainted wood on the bottom where your initials rested next to J.B.B. You ran your fingers over the slightly faded marker and smiled. 

“That was a long time ago.” 

Bucky hummed in agreement. “Another lifetime.” 

“When you wrote that…” You dropped your arm onto your stomach and turned your head to meet Bucky's eyes. “Did you know this is where we would end up?”

“No,” Bucky opened his mouth again but quickly snapped it shut. He obviously wanted to say something, but some part of him, his head or his heart you weren’t sure, were telling him not to. 

“No, Trouble. I didn’t know we would end up here. I thought-- I knew you would always be in my life, but I didn't think we would ever be here.” 

You leaned your head on his shoulder and held your hand out, which he took right away. Your fingers laced together, and he brought your hands up to rest on his chest. Quiet settled over you, and you laid there, staring at the aging Sharpie markings. Things were so different then. If you could go back and ask the girl who scribbled her initials next to Bucky’s if she knew where she was going to end up in the next few decades, she would have told you with absolute certainty, laying right here next to Bucky. 

She was ignorant and so naive, and maybe a part of you still was because for just a few moments it felt like everything would be okay, it would all be okay as long as you stayed here under your piano, holding Bucky's hand. 

“Play for me?” Bucky asked, breaking the silence with a gentle whisper.

That wasn’t a strange request, and it’s one you’ve heard fall from his lips a hundred times before. When you were young and foolish, Bucky used to ask you to play for him all the time, and usually, you were happy to oblige. This wasn’t about that, though. There was a question in his voice that said he wanted to know this was okay, that what he did was okay and that you were okay because if you weren’t and you really hated having it back, he would get rid of it. 

“What do you want to hear?”

You didn’t mind having the piano back, and it was only right that Bucky was the one that brought it home to you. 

“How about the song you liked to play from that movie. Shit, what was it? Swallow. Eh, no. Shallow?”

“I hate love songs.” 

Bucky smiled. 

“No, you don't.”

You smiled despite yourself and whispered, “I want to.”

Bucky placed a kiss to your forehead and whispered against your skin, “No, you don’t.”

It was unfair how well Bucky knew you. He knew nearly everything about you. He knew you hated to be told when you were wrong when you knew you were absolutely right. Bucky knew when you were lying and when you were throwing up your walls to hide the more delicate side of your heart, only a few have seen. You pretend to be tough by saying things like that, so no one could see how gentle you really were under it all. It was infuriating and comforting to have someone who knew you inside and out, but it often made it hard to keep the broken parts hidden. 

“I’ll play for you, but I just wanna lay here a little bit longer, okay?”

He knew most of your secrets; you only wished he would trust you with some of his. 

“Okay, Y/n, We can stay here as long as you want,” Bucky promised.

“And then order a pizza?”

Bucky chuckled and gave the hand he was still holding a soft squeeze. 

“If that's what you want, Trouble.”

You grinned but didn’t say a word, simply closed your eyes and let your head fall into the crook of his arm. Things were less scary when Bucky was around, so it was okay to let your guard fall for a short while. He would brave the dark with you if he had to, help you figure out what your new normal was and what parts of your past were okay to keep.

It made you feel as if maybe one day in the near future, everything would be okay again. At the very least, there would be pizza and Bucky, and that was enough. 

Previous // Next 

[artisiumstudios]

*frothing from my mouth* YES-

Both Ford and Stan are smart but their learning styles are completely different, not to mention their subjects are interests are also different. Ford is more into technical sciences, math, etc, while Stan is more into mechanics, art, biology, environmental science, etc. I also like to think that perhaps Stan was a more hands on person, AND SINCE WE ALL KNOW HE DIDNT HAVE GLASSES GUESS WHO COULDNT BE AS HANDS ON IF HE COULDNT SEE! Ford is able to understand what he’s being taught just by taking notes but Stan needs to solve equations, see how things react with each other and ask why they do so. (Not me but that’s the way my cousin learns actually and since she barely started college just this semester this was one of her worries because she needs to ask why but doesn’t want to look dumb )

ALSO THAT HEADCANON?! YUM, like can you imagine times where Stan was so frustrated with the portal that he would tear parts of it down while upset, regret it, but accidentally help himself by realizing how certain components actually worked and then finally putting it back together and far more determined than before.

Now imagine this, Fords gun accidentally jams one day and he can’t seem to make it work. He leaves it on the kitchen table since the kids are out and Stan’s doing tours having decided that he wants to have a bit of sunlight without having to interact with people (pre weirdmaggedon) and having to quickly run downstairs to get his toolkit that he forgot. Stan after having a frustrating day (tough tour group, having to deal with an angry parent, having another argument with Ford earlier that morning, and the kids are still slightly upset for the whole portal thing), he just sits down and sees the gun before grabbing it and pulling it apart. He’s grumbling, huffing as he talks about his day to no one but himself, when all of a sudden he’s like “shit isn’t this fords?”and begins to put it back together. 3/4 of the way ford comes back and sees Stanley and begins another fight “Why are you touching my stuff?! Don’t you know that’s a highly dangerous weapon?! You did but just didn’t care huh?!”

Now this is my personal head canon (and a bit of projection) but Stan just stares at ford with blank face; he’s silent, just so tired already , and finishes putting the gun back together before leaving and delaying the next tour by 30 minutes. (In other words he goes non verbal and goes to try to feel better) . ford on the other hand tries to “assess the damage” and comes to the realization that Stan actually managed to fix the gun AND improve its shooting distance.

Stanley not wanting to sit anywhere else at the pool because he had already decided which was his seat♡

I headcanon he has the thing where he has to sit in the same seat at the table and in the diner- it's his seat like the couch is his seat too and so is the driver's seat (unless he's teaching a bear to drive)

[real-jaune-isms]

RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 11 Review/Remix

Not the most action packed chapter we’ve ever had, and certainly not as dramatic as Chapter 11s from past Volumes. But this week had some wonderful surprises and existential dread and depression in equal measure and I think that’s a formula for a pretty damn good watch.

Despite the devastating energy bomb Oscar delivered last episode, we open with the city of Atlas overrun with tons of Grimm. The people are still hiding in the subway, fearing for their lives twice over now that Ironwood’s monologue is playing and showing just how off his rocker he is. Those in the crater mines take it far worse, though we see some of the humans and faunus who had previously seemed on edge with each other holding one another in solidarity and comfort. Fiona breaks down in tears and is pulled into a Happy Huntress group hug by Joanna and May, so it’s a small comfort to see they’re all still alive.

Ironwood and Winter walk the halls of Atlas command together, and Winter can’t help but notice the fearful reverence the general’s presence instills in lesser officers. The Ace Ops are talking things over in the wake of their boss’ ultimatum, and Elm is of the belief that Ironwood was just bluffing about nuking Mantle if he doesn’t get what he wants. Vine agrees it may very well be the kick in the pants Team RWBY and the others will need to finally see the right path, but we the audience are getting pretty sick of hearing this shtick. Marrow thinks Ironwood is taking this too far, and Harriet is just angrily indifferent about the whole thing. Ironwood rounds the corner and addresses the squad with their new orders: get some drones ready to drop the bomb. Winter asks why exactly they need to actually make those kind of preparations, and he makes it clear that he really does intend to remove Mantle from the equation if he is prompted to. He actually thinks committing this massacre, nay genocide, will make Penny more willing to return to his command if she no longer has an alternative job. No, dumbass, she’ll only want to defy and even kill you more! This is how he believes they will save Atlas, but Marrow has had more than enough and calls him on his shit for a line like that. All this is doing is helping Salem in her mission to divide and destroy the world, and it’s spitting in the face of everything Marrow thought the Atlas military stood for. Harriet threatens to clean his clock if he doesn’t shut up, and Vine again suggests that this would be a necessary sacrifice for the good of the Kingdom. Elm tries to agree, to say that this should be their top priority whether they like it or not, but Marrow has more to say. He can’t believe any of them actually buy the nonsense they’re spouting, and wants to know if there’s anything his teammates actually believe in anymore. With so many moral compromises, where do they draw the line of patriotism vs fascism? The faunus man gives a pretty good clincher to his tirade by calling his badge and rank nothing more than a collar. Say what you want about the writing of the faunus discrimination subplots in the prior volumes, I think this was pretty good. Ironwood isn’t about to let Marrow walk away from a rant like that without consequences and we can hear his cocking his gun. Marrow hears it too, but before he can react Winter comes in from his right with a sucker punch that knocks him to the floor. As she drops a knee on Marrow’s back to cuff him for insubordination we see Ironwood was a second away from shooting this man, one of his few trusted elite soldiers left, in the back of the head for an execution without mercy or hesitation. She just saved his goddamn life and that makes her an MVP for this Volume. The other Ace Ops realize this close encounter with death too, and they all share the same expression of shock fear dread and confusion. Not even Vine can hide how much he doesn’t like what could have just occurred. Winter says she’s going to take this “traitor” to the brig where he belongs and Ironwood allows her to leave and do so, only taking his finger off the trigger once they’ve walked past him. Those with a better understanding of trigger discipline than I could probably make something poignant out of that, so have at it if you can. What is abundantly clear to us is that Winter will be taking Marrow no such place. She has absolutely had enough and she’s about to desert with him in tow. The remaining three have to get back in line and spend a little time rethinking their positions on this job. Well, at least one of them will be, I don’t think Harriet is gonna change course after what she’s already done.

From one tense situation to another, we go to the Schnee manor dining room where Team RWBY are trying to figure out their next moves with Oscar and Emerald. They know they don’t want Ironwood getting his hands on Penny, but they don’t know what to do instead that won’t result in mass casualties. They don’t know that Robyn and Qrow have flown the coop and might come to their aid soon, and under Ironwood’s watch there’s no way to try and evacuate the people in the crater before he drops the bomb. It’s a real bad situation with no clear solutions or backup plans. Emerald can’t help but be snarky and say if the perpetual optimism engine that is Ruby can’t think of what to do then there’s no right answer at all. Weiss is annoyed that Em is giving them sass when they really don’t need any, but Yang is downright furious and her to GTFO if she doesn’t like trying to help them solve this. Emerald tenses up when Yang stomps towards her with clenched fists, and her hands go to her weapons in case she needs to defend herself. We know Yang wouldn’t actually throw a punch even if she’s mad like this, but Em doesn’t. Probably because the most substantial thing connecting the two of them was the time Emerald used her semblance to make Yang look like a heartless brute who would break a leg for no reason on live TV. Also Emerald doesn’t have the best role models for how to handle frustration... Oscar continues to insist they all just take a deep breath and remember the big picture rather than lose it over small disagreements, and reminds them that Em is going to be staying on their side cuz Salem won’t let her safely be anywhere else. But when he tries to reassure the group with a reminder that Oz is back to offer help too it just tenses the situation further. Ruby’s got her head in her arms on the table, and she’s really having a hard time of it all. Oscar muses about all the negative personal energies keeping them from a productive cohesion, and Ruby pops off. A day’s worth of their best efforts, hard fought battles and painful consequences, and nothing has gotten better. Just like at the start of the Volume, all they’ve been able to do is argue over what to try and do while Atlas heads towards its demise. Yang tries to put an encouraging hand on her shoulder but she brushes it off and runs out of the room in a huff. Everyone silently realizes how much they’ve fucked this up if Ruby is so hopeless and desperate, and Yang follows her sister out of the room.

Upstairs, Jaune is doing his best to boost Nora’s Aura and help her heal faster, but it’s not doing anything about her lightning scars. Those babies are here to stay, and I don’t mind it. It shows history, survival and a damn good story about what she’s been able to power through. Ren is sitting at the foot of the bed, and the best he’s able to offer is how glad he is Nora is okay. She seems indifferent and even passive aggressive at the diagnosis on her scars, claiming it’s just another example of her being classic dumb Nora. Ren tries to object that this wasn’t her being stupid or foolhardy, but she bites back at him with all the resentment she seems to have been holding in since they split ways yesterday. He’s got no right to say what it was or wasn’t, he wasn’t there to see it. He pushed away from her when things went wrong because he didn’t want to have to feel anything he thought would be too hard to deal with. Ren makes no effort to argue, he knows she’s right and he apologizes profusely for how he wronged both her and Jaune. He regrets the things he said to them, or more likely the things he said to Jaune out on the tundra since he and Nora haven’t exactly talked much. He admits he’s been mad at himself for not measuring up to their mentor figures in the Ace Ops, for how little he could help when Tyrian came a’ slashing at Robyn’s election rally, and for slipping up and letting Neo get away with the Lamp. Mentioning the rally of course gets Nora’s attention away from her pissed off brooding, and she does start to listen a little more sympathetically. Ren says that he tried to tunnel vision on getting stronger in the hopes it would mean he wouldn’t fail again and bring the team down with him. We know from Ironwood how bad tunnel vision is, so I’m glad Ren is realizing it was a bad choice. Ren has realized now that by doing all that he failed the worst of all, that being in his role as a member of this team and as a partner to Nora. The two of them lock eyes, and Jaune notices the deeper meaning behind this prolonged eye contact and knows he should make himself scarce for now so they can have this more important conversation sans his third wheeling ass. Good boy, but a bit over the top excusing himself.

All Nora can find the words to ask is why Ren hadn’t said anything about these personal doubts sooner so they could try and deal with it and grow as a team, and he says he wanted to try and solve it himself because it was his problem and he was the one dragging the group down because of it. She disagrees on the grounds of her own perceived failings, being silly of mind and strong of muscle and little else of value. Ren won’t hear that kind of self depreciation sitting down, so he moves further up the bed to sit by her lap. He tries his best to give her affirmations by rephrasing her qualities as great things but she’s just not willing to hear it... until he gets a little more passionate about it than he may have meant to. These are the things he loves about her. Because he loves her. Lie Ren tells Nora Valkyrie “I love you”. Nora knows in her heart he really means that, but she has some things she wants to get off her chest. In the single sentence of backstory we get, her mom apparently abandoned her and fled from a Grimm attack before she ended up in Kuroyuri meeting Ren. SInce then they’ve always been an inseparable pair, and she wouldn’t give up a day of that for anything. But now she realizes she needs some time to really learn who she is as her own person and fighter, and going back to being as close as they were wouldn’t allow that kind of growth. Because Nora loves Ren too, always has. And she can tell their separate missions have done him some good too, but she needs a little more time before she’s ready to be the partner a great guy like him deserves. She just wants to know if that kind of request is okay with him. He puts a hand against her cheek and lovingly wipes away the tear she had shed. Of course that’s okay. He’s proud of her for being mindful of her own happiness and growth, and is willing to put the relationship they both very much look forward to having on hold while she grows as a person. This is a very healthy dynamic and all meming aside we really love to see it portrayed so naturally and acceptably in media. And for good wholesome measure, Ren Boops Nora. They laugh and smile and press their foreheads together because Rooster Teeth loves showing us that as a sign of proximity and intimate comfort.

Cutting to something far less happy, Qrow is retrieving Harbinger and Robyn’s gauntlet crossbow from a locker in what I assume might be evidence lockup. He asks Robyn if she’s got the security cameras running on loop, presumably so they can sneak through the halls undetected, but she is currently distracted. At least one screen is feeding audio of Ironwood’s threat to Mantle, and others are showing he really is gearing up to do so. Qrow tries to reassure her by resolutely saying they’ll stop him before he has the chance to, but she doesn’t seem to pleased with that plan. Regardless, they make their way through the halls and head for an elevator to take them up to the Academy. After avoiding being spotted by guards, they make it to the elevator but Robyn stops Qrow before he can hit the call button. She tries to advocate for a better way to solve this, he insists there isn’t one. Robyn says it’s not just about Qrow so it isn’t his choice alone to make what is or isn’t the only solution. Qrow just keeps insisting that this is what he’s gonna do and when he does it’ll all be safe and over with, but Robyn tries to suggest success isn’t guaranteed and if they fail it’ll only doom hundreds more than if they try something else. Qrow doesn’t give a damn, he just yells that Ironwood deserves to be killed, because in case the pronoun game was too hard Qrow is dead set on doing a murder. Robyn claps a hand over Qrow’s mouth and pushes him against the wall because they ARE still trying not to get caught remember? I really have to admit on my first watch I thought this was gonna be an eruption of some kind of romantic tension I just hadn’t noticed til now and she was going to shut him up with a kiss. But no, thank god they didn’t pull that tired trick. After making sure the coast really is clear, she gets to the heart of things. She can tell Qrow is in pain, he’s mourning, and its a shroud he’s well accustomed to. But don’t act like this is righteous justice for the people at large, Qrow wants blood on his hands purely for personal vengeance. She acknowledges that Clover had a lot of qualities worth looking up to the way Qrow had, but she thinks that at the end of the day Qrow has proven to be the better man and the better Huntsman. I feel like she could have phrased that a touch better so as to not speak quite so ill of the recently deceased, but the pep talk is there. He’s got the will to fight for what he believes is the right course of action rather than just what a higher up says he needs to, and that is the sort of strength of character that’s worth a whole lot in this world, so she hopes he won’t go abandoning it now that the going is even rougher. He seems to be calmed and inspired by this, but before any more words are said the elevator pings that it’s stopping on this floor so the two ready their weapons to fight whoever emerges. The doors open, but we have the perspective of whoever is inside looking out to see the two hunters drop their guard in confusion. As that is the end of that scene we will not be finding out who they saw for at least another week, but I think it’s most likely to be Winter and Marrow and the four of them will form an unlikely alliance.

Back in Schnee manor, Yang reaches the foyer to see Ruby sitting on the stairs clutching a banister. Instead of going right up to her Yang goes past to take a look at the collapsed suit of armor. She’s heard by now how Ruby and the others managed to kill the Hound, and tries to give her little sis amused props for doing what the elder sibling couldn’t. Instead Ruby just asks if Yang knows what they saw inside the Grimm. Yang says she does, and tenses up like she wants to brush past this very depressing topic Ruby is hinting at. Ruby is having none of that and just says what we’ve all been thinking. Summer Rose was most certainly turned into a Grimm too. Fearing the possibility in her head was one thing, but to hear Ruby say it aloud with a voice so hollow and hopeless is too much and Yang falls to her knees sobbing in a second flat. Yang tries to wipe the tears away, to be calm and strong like always, but Ruby isn’t stopping. They know Salem used to want Silver Eyed Warriors dead because of Maria’s brush with death years ago, but now Salem wants Ruby brought in alive and it seems obvious why. So why wouldn’t it be the case that Summer was the turning point, that fighting her was when Salem realized she could do so much more with her mortal foes? Ruby has had enough of lying to themselves for the sake of optimistic hope, her hope that Amity could get a message out got them nowhere but further failure and she blames herself for being childish. Yang takes her hand and assures her that it wasn’t childishness but rather optimism and hope. Those are things they desperately need in this struggle, but to be blindly optimistic can certainly be bad so they need to be smart about which risks they take. Ruby still isn’t about to concede this point because the risk she took was a failure and their message didn’t bring any help. I should like to remind the reader/viewer that it took about a week for Team RWBY to get from Mistral to Atlas and this message went out... 12 hours ago? Maybe 16? You’re giving up the ghost a little soon there sweetie, though they do need that help ASAP so better late than never isn’t really a viable option. Yang reminds Ruby that her plan was a bust too, but she kept trying to do good things that weren’t part of the plan and they did some good there. Summer took a risk too, by leaving for the mission she never came back from. And there’s little question that went according to plan either, but she still did her best and Yang still considers Summer her hero. As she embraces her little sister, I get the strong feeling that Summer isn’t the only Rose she considers her hero either... and by the tears that start welling up in Ruby’s eyes she clearly knows that.

Their sweet moment is shattered by the sound of equally shattered glass, and Jaune comes rushing down the stairs to tell them to get outside immediately. Penny woke up and the virus is in control again to make her head for the Vault without delay. Ruby bursts into her path to beg her to stop, and it does get her to start struggling against her digital orders. She begs to be stopped, and Ruby wraps her arms around her because honestly she’s just trying her best and with a weapon like Crescent Rose she’s gotta have some upper body strength. But that’s pretty meaningless against Penny’s rocket boots as she takes off with Ruby in tow. Blake and Ren use Gambol Shroud and Storm Flower (thank god for the grappling hook upgrade last Volume) to try and pull her down by each arm with the rest of their teams providing tug of war style support. Weiss uses a black glyph to really hold her in place once her feet are on the ground again. Before anyone can figure out what to do to properly subdue her Penny uses her magic to summon a cold vortex and blow them all off guard so she can start flying away again, still repeating her orders to open the Vault and self-terminate, though now she sounds emotional and conflicted about it due to her mental struggle. Before she can get any farther, a new set of chains grab her shoulders. Emerald has joined in, and even if it was a small gesture I found myself very enthusiastic to see her pitching in for the rescue. She yells for someone to do something already, and Jaune lets go of Blake’s side of the struggle (guess it would have been off balance if him Nora and Oscar were all helping Ren) to boost Weiss’ Aura so she can make a stronger inertia glyph. Back on the ground, Ruby hugs Penny again and asks how she can help her friend. And Penny says Ruby should kill her. If she does, Penny guarantees Ruby will be the one she gives the Winter Maiden powers to. None of the group like hearing this idea one little bit, but she thinks it’s the only way since she can’t fight the virus. But once again Nora swoops in with the sage words about it only being a part of you and not letting that be the end of it. Penny’s more than just a robot receiving orders, she’s got human spirit and willpower that’s been resisting for so long. This gets the gears in Ruby’s head turning and she realizes the human part can be what saves her. Jaune needs to boost her Aura, which he rushes over to do immediately. It seems to do the trick, and her soul is doing a much better job of keeping the virus contained, though it’s not gone forever. Everyone comes in for a happy group huddle, and she is assured that she is far more than a machine and that humanity is what will keep her going in spite of the remaining virus. It’s a very soft and touching moment. 

Then Emerald has something to say. They’re wrong... about being in the same place they started yesterday. They’ve made progress even though they can’t quite see it right now. They’ve taken some hits, and she admits some of that has been her fault, but that’s war so you gotta roll with the punches and fight on. She just really won’t like it if they give up the moment she decides she’ll fight by their side, okay?! It’s not like she likes these friendly, kind, understanding and emotionally complex fellow teens that are willing to take her in, baka!!! Oscar points out that she’s admitted she wants to stay with them and they all have a happy laugh realizing she’s got a softer side after all. Oscar helps her back to her feet, then addresses the group. Ozpin has some things he wants to say to them all, if they’re willing to hear it. They all share a look and decide that yes, they will listen. Oz comes forth and immediately launches into a speech about a fairy tale. Typical. We can presume these are further details about “The Girl who Fell Through the World”, and he says that girl took her grand trip to run away from consequences of a choice she has to make. But her problems only grow because the initial issue was never resolved. That’s the very thing he’s done here, his problem being the consequences of the truth and his past coming to light. He regrets not trusting them with the whole story and he regrets retreating into Oscar’s mind when he was found out. The group decides they understand where he was coming from a bit since in that interim they had to make some impossible choices about trust too. Trusting in someone is a risk, and they decide they’ll take that risk on him one more time. From the look of things, that second chance is going to Emerald too, and I hope she makes them proud. Penny winces again and it’s clear that one way or the other they will need to take her to the Vault. Ruby thinks on that for a second and realizes that’s actually worth a shot considering who they have at their disposal and the likelihood of it not going exactly how Ironwood thinks it will. To that end we see Ironwood down in the Vault receiving a call from Ruby saying Penny will be there. He sets the stipulation that Penny meet him at the entrance of the Academy and she has to come alone. I’m sure no green haired illusionist will play a hand in whether or not she really is alone... But either way there will be unexpected company because Watts hooked up a broken Scroll to the wiring of an Atlas robot to listen in on Ironwood’s call and know where the meeting will be. Neo arrives in the alley where the doctor and Cinder waiting, and it seems miss Fall has a scheme to get the ice cream psycho precisely what she’s demanding of them.

But what exactly these carefully laid plans will be has to wait a little while, cuz that’s the end for this week. Great job all around for this well balanced episode with many kinds of scenes and many ways to make my heart hurt...

[bleachbleachbleach]

HELLO.

I just wanted to say that I love, love, love your tags on that character/tool post a lot! Some of my favorite shows/books involve characters that can't keep it together and just barely make it to the end of the story or make it there in an "inconvenient way" and tbh I find that usually the narratives that follow these characters don't really work away from them either--the narrative is just usually more questioning instead of fully formed.

Like, 'what if/how would', y'know? There's less of a clear meaning and more just 'what if they hadn't done that. what if they had done that. what if all that meant nothing. what if that struggle was all there was'.

But oh boy, when they DO work away from the narrative. *chefs kiss*

I mean, most of my favorite Bleach characters are narrative nightmares who either hinder or cut off lines of theme in the story entirely. And, in general, I think there are A LOT of characters in shonen--a genre known for very long narratives that can't possibly complete every thought but also can't just abandon all those characters introduced ESPECIALLY the fan favorites or personal favorites--work in the way you described.

Tbh i think your tags really highlight why so many ppl get drawn to these characters/why they're so fun to play with in fanfiction.

If you have more to add or more thoughts about this you want to lay down I am here, eagerly awaiting and ready to pick them up.

Also, who do you think in Bleach is the most fun characters who sort of drop kicked the story, in your opinion? Who's the one you like the most? And who's the one you dislike the most?

[For posterity the referenced post is this one.]

Aww, thank you! That’s really lovely to hear. I was anxious about even putting it in tags because I don’t think I presently have the capacity to explain it well—and even if I did might still sound bananas to many. Or at least the bit about negotiating with characters and how *they* feel about being subjects in stories. Because as much as that really is my practice saying it out loud takes me back to like… FFN in 2003 where every store was prefaced by extensive chat-form back-and-forths between the fic author and their character "musies" and that is not something I think fandom would benefit from bringing back in force, hahaha. But anyway.

Here’s the part where I disappoint because I don’t think I actually know Bleach well enough to speak to it in this context. WHICH SOUNDS DUMB EVEN AS I TYPE IT BECAUSE LOL WTF IS THE NAME OF THIS BLOG WE ARE CHARLATANS AND POSERS FOR CLAIMING AS OUR NAMESAKE NOT ONE BLEACH BUT THREE BLEACHES but truly, my experience of Bleach has a shallow depth of field. I feel like I have weirdly intimate knowledge of some severe rabbit holes but a non-existent to uneasy sense of the gestalt.

Like idek man, in my "slow re-read where I am actually paying attention" Ichigo hasn’t even met Byakuya and Renji yet. ToT

I'm gonna put this behind a cut because it spidered all over the place, but in summary:

characters and their capacity to produce narrative failure

the charm of longform serialized series and their invitations to imagine stuff

me attempting to talk about Hitsugaya and feeling a fool, as usual

I guess in general terms, I’m really interested in characters and their capacity to produce narrative failure. Not failure as in 'bad' but failure as in things that break form or are circuitous or are actively detrimental to a narrative arc. All my strongest examples of what I’m thinking of are from a different fandom and therefore not relevant to this blog, alas. By comparison I think anyone in Bleach can keep it together better than the characters that are immediately coming to mind, lol. But I think this idea dovetails often with trauma narratives, or depression narratives, because these things are often… non-narrative? Like, there’s no fourth or fifth for minor fall or major lift. Sometimes it’s the same thing over and over again, or maybe nothing. Maybe it’s the exact same self-sabotage narrative dictates could have been avoided. Maybe it’s some act that emanates forth but cannot be explained because it cannot be explained and will never be explained. That’s a version of what I’m talking about, in any case, though not the only version.

Your note about longform shounen definitely resonates with me, too. In my mind I don’t like long things and I prefer series that are more self-contained but whenever I have ever landed in a long-term fandom, with a piece of media I felt obliged to carve out chunks of my life for, and to interact with at that level of creative fannishness, it’s always been something stupid long and serialized by the seat of its pants. I know plot holes or dropped threads bother a lot of people (makes total sense, don’t get me wrong) but I find these things incredibly attractive. I see them as invitations to join in the fun. Especially when it’s so much a part of the form and genre to have this, as you said, lack of real expectation that every thread will be followed to its conclusion (or that it would be worthwhile to do so) and every thought completed.

There’s this piece by David Grann that was published in The New Yorker in 2004 that I really love that speaks to part of this idea, albeit in terms of fictional universes versus fictional characters. But Grann is talking about Sherlock Holmes (Doyle original) and the ways that Sherlockians would like, approach apparent lapses in narrative and then solve them according to the established rules of the universe. I just love that. There’s also the line, "Never had so much been written by so many for so few," which LOL if that ain’t fandom I don’t know what is!!

I feel like I’m actually talking about three distinct but related facets of these thoughts in this post, except all at once and without clear transition, uhhhhh.

Gah, I am broken and now can ONLY think of examples from my not-Bleach fandom, but to try a different tack and add yet another facet to this already funhouse-mirror post, my various attempts to write Hitsugaya often feel like they come up against a version of this. I think Hitsugaya has aggressive side character energy, and I find it difficult to make him the center of a story and have it feel right to me. He feels different to me than writing other minor characters, where they can be the center of their own stories even if their story is not the main story. Like, two of my fave characters in my other fandom have literally like… three lines in 350+ episodes and it feels easier to imagine THEM at the center of their story and I think what it comes down to is that Hitsugaya probably prefers what he not be written. And when he does become more narrative I think he’d prefer that none of it was happening in the fist place. But at the same time he always seems to be…around??? whether there is really a good reason for him to be present or not. XD So while, say, he and Bartleby "would prefer not to" (because THAT'S what this post needs, a Melville reference), Bartleby actually opts out and Hitsugaya out here volunteering.

He also often feels non-narrative to me because he feels very declarative, if that makes sense? Like, the coming-to-decisions or coming-to-realizations parts of existence happen pretty quick, or are approached perfunctorily. I feel like I find narrative in the "coming" part of that equation and instead Hitsugaya will be like, well, I’ve already done that part without you, and/or plan to do that part in the future and it will still be without you, the audience. Anyway, here’s the determination I’ve made, here’s what I’m going to do, and here begins the long and probably tedious process of my doing that thing (off 2 go train in a cave for a bit). I don’t think he actually believes the world is that simple, Tab A into Slot B, but I do think he’s already made that assessment and can see coming to terms with that as a horizon, if that makes sense. So even if he doesn’t know the answer to something, or is completely at a loss of what to do (what to say to Hinamori? how to productively address the number Aizen’s done on him) there’s still not necessarily a story there. Maybe the answer is you grind, and it is repetitive and boring. Maybe you just hold things. There’s not even the act of learning how to hold things, necessarily, just the practice of doing so.

Wow, that probably doesn’t sound good! I feel like I need to suffix this with the assurance that Hitsugaya is my absolute runaway character in the whole series and this was true 15 years ago and it is still true now (truer, even) and everything I just said are reasons why I love him.

[brittababbles]

Trump isn't wrong about injecting chemicals and uv light into our blood either. I have to go in constantly for uv of the blood because I'm one of the rare few poor bastards with a blood disorder that my own body is rejecting. (Aka blood poisoning) I got it due to breaking my leg and not having it properly taken care of. Just be aware, even if he's a dumb ass, he's not wrong on this one.

Why did you send this, anon? Why?

Okay, I - whew, where to begin here.

This- this is my field. I work in healthcare. I’m studying this stuff. I spent a lot of time with epidemiology and viruses and no. Okay. We use UV treatment for VERY specific sets of circumstances, and anecdotal experiences of the few do not equate to a positive scientific study by any stretch. We don’t generally use it for viral disinfection, especially not in sensitive tissues like the ones that make up the respiratory tract, where the COVID-19 virus likes to habituate. Because lung tissue does not regenerate as readily as blood does, and it definitely doesn’t regenerate as readily when it’s infected with a virus that makes it not work right. Also, if UV rays can cause skin cancer - skin being a tissue that contains melanin, which is specifically supposed to protect your skin from UV damage - image what it does to fragile lung tissue. So no, exposing a COVID patient to UV radiation is, at best, likely going to do nothing at all and at worse, create an entirely separate problem.

Also, we have no evidence at all the UV radiation does anything to COVID in tissue. It kills it on surfaces. Maybe.

Now to the bit about injecting chemicals into people. Now, we inject chemicals into people all the time. Technically saline is a chemical. We pump that into patients by the liter. Drugs are chemicals. We generally don’t put those in people without rigorous testing first but yeah we do that too. But our dear non-medically savvy president didn’t just say “chemicals”. He specified two disinfectants that do seem to have an effect in killing COVID on surfaces: bleach, and alcohol.

Now, technically the human body can orally consume small quantities (very very small, in the case of bleach) of these substances and, assuming said body has normal hepatic and renal function, will probably be fine. Probably. But both of those are cytotoxins. That’s why they work as effective disinfectants against bacteria as well as viruses - they kill cells! Guess what your body is made of??? Cells!!! And if you drink some alcohol and don’t die, it’s probably because it passed through your digestive system, was broken down, passed into your circulatory system and through your liver so it didn’t kill you. But drink enough of it and you get cirrhosis or alcoholic hepatitis! Which is fun, right? In the veterinary world they sometimes use grain alcohol as an antidote to antifreeze poisoning but again those are special circumstances that, from experience, don’t always work. Bleach will just kill you, realtiscally.

Guy, we can’t even put water into a vein because of how the body is pH balanced (also electrolyte balanced... I’m not doing the hyper/hypotonic saline lesson here because it’s literally the first lab in a physiology class please look it up) Bleach? Which is a. Highly cytotoxic and b. Extraordinarily basic on the pH scale? Nah. You can’t just inject someone with bleach and expect them to be ~cleansed~ of a virus. It probably will kill the virus. It will also kill the patient.

Also, again, bleach and alcohol work well on surfaces. Alcohol works well to disinfect skin if used sparingly. We do not know what it does to COVID in tissue, but we know what it does to the tissue itself. It kills it.

So yeah, he’s wrong. Like really really wrong. I’m a baby-nurse (a nurse who is a baby, not a nurse who handles babies) and even I can give you several reasons why he’s wrong but I didn’t think I needed to tell people that UV radiation blasts and bleach drips are not going to do anything to solve the COVID pandemic. Also our president is an idiot and we should probably not be taking medical advice from a man who actively does not believe in science.

I need a drink. Cytotoxicity be damned.

[afterspark-podcast]

(Extra!) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: Transcript

Episode

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Into Music]

O: Hi folks, we're back! Thanks for joining us. 

S: So, if we were going to make Revenge of the Fallen better, what would we do (aside from definitely not killing off Jetfire)?

O: Well, first, uh, let's establish some general rules for this thought exercise: The same basic skeleton of the movie must stay intact, since we are trying to fix it not redo it entirely, um, generally, the same characters should be involved but characters could return from the first one instead. Um, I know in the previous movie review we talked about doing it as a tv show or something but for right now let's pretend that the first movie happened as is.

S: Aside from Jazz surviving.

O: Yeah, because killing him off was really dumb and it happened at the end of the movie anyway, so it doesn't really change anything in the first movie.

S: Yep. So, first off: cast change! 

O: Uh, we're gonna remove Devastator, Grindor, Volt, Skids and Mudflap and add returning characters from the first movie, which would be Maggie, Glenn, John Keller, and Blackout by way of- they maybe resurrected him at the same time as Megatron, and Jazz.

S: Yep. Since we've removed Volt, Skids, and Mudflap, we're going to add in Sunstreaker this way we can still exploit the brotherly dynamic that people who are used to G1 would be used to and, you know, using an existing character and relationship dynamic.

O: Right, and Bee's voice box is still intact. He and Sam are actually friends. Sam does not treat him like a fucking dog or some weird possession. 

S: Mm-hmm. He comes with Sam to college because at this point Sam kind of does have a target on his back.

O: Yeah, which I think is fair. The Decepticons are still around, we established that pretty early so, yeah, why not?

S: Yeah, and at this point, I don't know, maybe treat it like Sam’s in, effectively, robot witness protection.

O: Yeah. Optimus does not die at any point in this because it would be completely pointless to the story we're trying to tell.

S: Yeah. Sector Seven has been folded into N.E.S.T. and some major retraining on, uh, how to treat the giant robots, maybe, has happened. Simmons has become significantly less of an asshole after getting to know the Autobots.

O: Or at least we would hope-

S: Yeah.

O: You know, because some mutual respect would probably have been earned since, you know, this movie started. Sector 7 did effectively imprison Megatron for decades successfully. They clearly have knowledge and skills that could be useful for, you know, both finding and capturing the remaining Decepticons.

S: Yeah, I feel like the Autobots would still be a bit skeeved out about some of the things Sector 7 did but-

O: They probably would and I think it would have to be handled really well and hence why Simmons needs to be less of a dick.

S: Yeah, though at this point probably all of the Autobot- let's just go with the whole “war criminals” thing.

O: Yeah.

S: Everyone's done things that they regretted in the war.

O: Mikaela is now training under Ratchet. She knows a lot about machines and showed promise at the end of the first movie so let's actually do something with that.

S: And make it so Sam isn't her only friend because that's sad. Like she has Maggie and Glenn-

O: And the Arcees.

S: Yeah.

O: Uh, Maggie and Glenn are now our two tech oriented people on the team.

S: Yup. Lennox and Epps are functionally in the same roles as the movie-

O: But now John Keller is the head of N.E.S.T. operations instead of some random guy. 

S: Yep. Then Simmons is their information guy and, I mean, actually John Keller- this could be his job after he retires from whatever the hell he was doing.

O: Right, because it was very much they said Obama in this movie, so it's clear Obama is now the president. He definitely wasn't in the first movie.

 S: Yeah. 

O: So, similar to Prime you could also pair our main human characters up with their partners. We had a whole breakdown on this but it wasn't really important to kind of everything else but, you know, aside from just Sam and Bumblebee, you could have the characters paired up, too. 

S: Ratchet and Optimus would not have partners and would live on base. Optimus runs Autobot operations and Ratchet is in charge of the med bay.

O: But the biggest and most important change is that everyone has friends, hobbies, relationships with each other, and they are an actual team. Yes, catching the Decepticons is important but they have to live, too.

S: It's heavily implied Optimus considers Earth their new home in the movies and that they should be trying to make it home. So Sam still goes to college on the east coast but perhaps somewhere closer to D.C.

O: The where isn't really important just as long as it works out geographically for some of the stuff we mention later and is reasonably prestigious.

S: I mean, considering that we don't even know what the hell Sam is even going for I'm not sure what prestige even matters.

O: I don't even know either but I'm just sort of operating under the assumption of he seems to want to go to a prestigious school. 

S: Yeah, so Leo's the only roommate as the others are hardly in the movie at all and don't add anything to it.

O: Now that Simmons is involved in N.E.S.T. there is no reason for Leo to be running the website but if we do really want to drag him along in all this he could be a big conspiracy buff.

S: Yeah, he may be wrong about a lot of things but damn if he's right about those giant robots. This is probably super awkward for Sam and Bee. The bit with the AllSpark still happens at the beginning. Sam still downloads a bunch of junk into his brain but now he hands the fragment off to Mikaela to give to the Autobots.

O: The Wheelie bit is mostly intact, as well, but less horny and more Mikaela's a warrior goddess.

S: Yep, considering that she can kick his ass, she can kick anyone's ass. Sam has his freakout in class but now his professor or someone sitting in nabs him for an internship at the air and space museum because he's- I don't know! Sam- he somehow manages to solve some sort of impossible equation or something.

O: Yeah, uh, Leo maybe can already be an intern by doing something more marketing or advertising based. 

S: This will allow them access to the museum without the whole underpants bit.

O: Which was completely pointless.

S: Yup.

S: Alice is now also another intern. She attempts to flirt with Sam but gets nowhere cause Sam is in a committed fucking relationship.

S: Yeah. Alice can now copy other people's appearances and does so with Mikaela based on, uh, seeing her or hearing her and Sam on a video call to each other.

O: Now the movie really splits between the A-plot and the B-plot. 

S: The A-plot remains functionally similar to the main movie: The Misadventures of Sam and Co.

O: The B-plot is now the Decepticons are wreaking havoc and the Autobots are spread very thin trying to mitigate as much damage as possible.

S: We're told in the movie that several thousand people have been killed but it doesn't really affect the plot in a meaningful way. Like, it mostly seems like these are just the people who, like, military people.

O: Yeah, not that they don't matter but, again, it just doesn't affect the plot.

S: Yeah.

O: Like, it doesn't change how the Autobots are behaving.

S: Yeah, because the stuff that happens on a ship. That's very contained, that's one ship where as stuff happening in a city center-

O: Several cities. Yeah-

S: Yes, this is a bit wide- bit more widespread and, you know, you're not able to hush that up.

O: But now that's the main reason the group is split up and why Sam doesn't have backup in Egypt initially.

S: Yep, out of the remaining team members Mikaela, Simmons, and Wheelie are the ones who head to D.C. because everyone else is headed somewhere else.

O: But now instead of walking in on Sam kissing another woman, he's kissing “Mikaela” [disguised Alice].

S: Naturally, we get the Mikaela versus Alice showdown that we deserve.

O: The Con's actions during all this stay relatively the same except now it's Soundwave who's in charge of the mission to revive Megatron, still in space, still a satellite.

S: They're still searching for Sam to get the information out of his head.

O: But the Fallen is now the thing they're trying to activate instead of the Star Harvester. 

S: To beat a Prime they need a Prime after all.

O: And the Fallen's locked in stasis or sort of, kind of dead or something,

S: Yeah, whatever it is they need the Matrix of Leadership to revive him and they also still need Sam to find both the Fallen's location and the Matrix's location. 

O: Same thing happens where Sam's group realizes they need to talk to a very old Cybertronian because neither Bee nor Wheelie can read the text that is stuck in his head.

S: The equivalent of asking someone who speaks French or, I don't know, Esperanto to speak Latin. French would be too close. Wheelie points out Jetfire in a picture. Sam realizes that Jetfire is in the museum and he's, like, walked by this five dozen times-

O: [Laughter]

S: And they all go to revive him.

O: The AllSpark fragment reacts before they see the now very well hidden Decepticon badge.

S: Jetfire's bit is still pretty much the same: they're all teleported to Egypt, the tomb is made out of the Prime bodies possibly in Petra again, still.

O: Yeah the location of it doesn't necessarily- isn't necessarily important.

S: Yeah.

O: Only now the Primes have sealed the Fallen way somewhere else before sealing the Matrix away with themselves to keep him from being reactivated.

S: The race is on for Sam's group to try and find the Matrix while the rest of the Autobots are attempting to deal with the Decepticon attacks and still somehow support Sam's group who only has Bumblebee with them for defense.

O: All without drawing the Cons attention to what they're actually doing.

S: Sam retrieves the Matrix from Petra but it doesn't crumble away into sweaty sock dust this time. 

O: Uh, the Autobots and Sam's group converge on the Fallen's tomb planning on destroying him before the Decepticons can revive him, somehow. Maybe it's that Optimus could destroy him. I don't know.

S: But surprise! Soundwave's been monitoring communications and they've been followed so before the rest of the Autobots can get there Megatron gets his hands on the Matrix and resurrects the Fallen.

O: And we discussed going a couple of different ways with this but ultimately we thought it would be interesting if combiners were still important to the final battle, kind of like how Optimus and Jetfire combined. Sort of.

S: It could also be used to differentiate toys from the previous movie and this one.

O: The Autobots arrive! A fight ensues.

S: In order to defeat Optimus, Megatron is willing to make a somewhat literal deal with the devil and combines with the Fallen, so Optimus can be defeated by his or their own hand. 

O: Optimus is losing until Jetfire shows up. 

S: Seekers, as we mentioned, are absolutely ancient Cybertronians, younger only than the original Primes.

O: And in the novels Jetfire and the Fallen had previously worked together.

S: So to fight the Fallen/Megatron combiner Jetfire and Optimus must- must combine, as well, so now we can still have nifty air fights and, god, I keep wanting to make a joke about plane pants or something.

O: [Laughter] Uh, this all plays out about how you'd expect.

S: Yup. Optimus and Jetfire are better at working together and relying on each other's strengths and knowledge of their opponents. Megatron and the Fallen begin trying to wrestle control back and forth from each other.

O: In the end, Optimus and Jetfire are willing to risk everything to stop the Fallen and Megatron from destroying earth but Megatron is not willing to get himself killed because of the Fallen's mistakes and abandons him. 

S: Yep, fleeing with himself, Starscream, and any remaining Decepticons.

O: And the Fallen is killed by, frankly, any other method than having his fucking face ripped off. 

S: Yep, the heroes are victorious, the earth is saved, and with a renewed vow protecting the planet from the Decepticons the credits roll.

O: And, yes, I know we didn't really develop the B-plot very much but, again, working with what happened in the movie proper and seeing how we'd improve it. Ideally somebody who actually writes scripts would be able to kind of think of an interesting b plot and tie all of this together. That would be both interesting and a way to further the characters or- and/or the relationships with each other.

S: Yeah, like it would be kind of hilarious if they ended up all being like inter- if the humans all ended up being internet buddies and not actually realizing it. 

O: But, yeah, that's our summary of how we would try to fix this movie. Take it as you will we're not even saying we're amazing, we just really did not like the original film.

S: Yep, I mean would this be an improvement? It's a “your mileage would vary” thing. 

O: And it also kind of depends on what you like. If you like giant action scenes you probably would like Revenge of the Fallen, I don't know.

S: Yeah.

O: But, uh, join us next time when we kind of get back to our normal G1 shtick otherwise, you know, hopefully we'll see you, like, a year from now and do Dark of the Moon and, uh, uh oh. Wow, I have feelings.

S: Mm-hm. Toodles.

[Outro Music]

[yoongis-chubby-cheeks]

two scoops.

it’s the hopeful sounding call of your name that alerts you out of your half-awake trance, not having realised the way your eyelids began to fall shut and your head tilt forward as you dozed off, chin propped in your hand. you blink momentarily, gaze darting from one side of the room to the other as you remember your surroundings, and look up guiltily to the already deflated expression of the boy across from you, frozen in position as he stares at you with his finger still pointing to the equation on the page that he’s been teaching you to solve- or at least, trying to. 

‘please, for my sanity and mental wellbeing, tell me that you were listening to that.’ jimin already sounds like he’s lost hope, apparently knowing your answer without you even having said it yet.

‘uh.’ you hesitate, a hand coming to rub at your nape sheepishly. with an apologetic grimace, you shake your head very slightly, and jimin sits back in his seat with an exasperated groan, throwing his pen down onto the desk to instead card his fingers through his hair.

‘i’m really sorry, okay?’ you’re quick to jump in and apologise, something seeming to sink in your chest at the thought of jimin’s hard work going to nothing. ‘i should’ve been paying attention, i-‘

‘why does mr han even want us to do this, anyway?’ jimin interrupts incredulously, which isn’t entirely unwelcome, as the thought of apologising profusely to the boy who pushed you into the pool at swimming lessons when you were six and afraid of the deep end (which, no, you’re totally not still kind of salty about, because that would be totally ridiculous and irrational and you’re not that type of person- at least, that’s what you tell yourself as you fold your arms and narrow your eyes at him across the classroom) doesn’t appeal to you that much. 

jimin pauses, and you take that as an opportunity to pipe up with an answer to his (probably rhetorical, now that you think about it) question. ‘you’re smart and constantly skipping class, and i’m dumb and have been hated by mr han ever since i passed that note in his math class to ask shiah to go out with me when we were thirteen. i assume that he thinks we’re both in need of a punishment.’

there’s a silence until jimin lets out an agitated sigh, slumping back to his usual position and looking you up and down with a cocked eyebrow and a slight scoff. ‘you’re not stupid, dumbass. you’d get it if you just listened to what i’m explaining to you, for once.’ he emphasises his words by repetitively tapping at your forehead with a delicate digit, prompting a scowl on your behalf as you slap his hand away. ‘besides,’ he continues, sitting back once more. ‘why do you always fall asleep at these tutor sessions? what are you doing so late each night that you always doze off when i’m trying to teach you algebra?’ he raises an eyebrow suggestively, clearly looking to rile you up, his lips curving up in an amused smirk. ‘hm, let me see. looking at you, i’m gonna assume that you’re mega kinky, maybe into slapping-?’

‘oh, shut it, jimin.’ you quickly cut him off, speaking over him loudly. ‘i wish..’ you joke for a millisecond, before returning to your indignant expression and pointing an accusing finger at him. ‘it’s nothing like that, you perv. plus, it’s none of your business. and, from what i hear, sounds like you think about this sort of thing a lot? you sure that isn’t just you projecting your masochistic, twinky fantasies onto me, park?’ you grin teasingly, happy to have flipped the situation around.

suddenly, jimin stands from his chair, the loud scrape of his chair against the cheap flooring almost making you wince. ‘this is stupid.’ jimin announces, swiftly collecting up his belongings from the desk, but still managing to seem nonchalant, as if he’s not in a rush at all. ‘if you’re not gonna pay attention,’ he continues, beginning to head for the door with his backpack slung over one shoulder, ‘then i’m not gonna waste my time in trying. you can tell mr han why these tutor sessions aren’t gonna be happening anymore-‘

’jimin, wait!’ you hate the way your voice sounds almost desperate, and you clear your throat before continuing, seeing the way that jimin stops in his tracks. ‘i am sorry. believe it or not, i do actually wanna pass this class? not to mention, mr han will have us both put in detention if we don’t continue.’

jimin huffs a little, but turns on his heel to look across at you with disdain, clearly not interested in your excuses. ‘if you’re as committed as you say you are to passing, then why do you never pay attention? this is bullshit.’

‘fuck, jimin, it’s not. as fake as it sounds, i do have a reason as to why i stay up so late all the time, and it’s not just because i’m playing video games or some stupid shit like that.’ (it’s not always because of video games, you tell yourself. that statement is simply a white lie for the greater good.) ‘can you… give me another chance, or something? i don’t know, i’m no good at apologising. but, please?’

jimin pauses briefly, his gaze scanning over your expression as if to try and work out whether you’re being serious. ‘you’re right. you’re shit at apologising.’

‘i’ll buy you ice cream!’ you blurt out as a last resort. 

jimin pauses again, as if mulling it over. ‘two scoops?’

‘as many scoops as you want.’ 

‘…tomorrow, then. after class.’

you heave a relieved exhale as you nod, even managing to turn it into a breathy chuckle. ‘i guess no one can say no to the sweetness of ice cream, huh.’ you muse, watching as jimin’s expression morphs into a pleased grin, letting out a momentary laugh of his own. ‘yeah, i guess so. but, i think that the ice cream’s gonna taste even sweeter knowing that it’s your money being spent on it and not mine. i’ll catch you around.’ and with a final, smug remark, the door opens for a second before banging shut once more, and park jimin is gone. 

‘fuckin’ loser.’ you scoff, but there’s a slight smile on your face as you sweep your books and pencilcase into your bag and zip it shut. after all, who’s not cheered up by the thought of ice cream?

[freebooter4ever]

programmer rant under cut

“For someone like Angela, learning all of this in 24 hours is next to impossible”

FUCKING. BULL. SHIT. And the fact that they gave this line to a WOMAN? Saying it to DARLENE (I LOVE darlene precisely because her profile doesn’t fit the typical coder. like ME when i was in that phase of life)? I’m gonna fight someone. I swear 90% of the time I love this show and then they do shit like this and it reminds me why I would have crying breakdowns on the regular in school. Because when you’re slamming up against a glass wall of people laughing at your attempts, it can feel ‘impossible’.  Like, ok the Sam Seppial alias is born in 1988 and Elliot claims to have started programming with web design and view source, so before flash became a big thing, so probably late 90′s, so middle school age, so his timeline for learning how to code and being introduced to this world matches mine almost exactly. And it was better than in the 80′s when literally my school had more ‘dave’s than women, but still I ran up against a lot of sexist bullshit. The only women who were immune to comments were the ones who blended in well with male geek culture, dressed that way, talked that way, just tried to completely erase the fact that they were different. Trenton is very different, her hijab sometimes has sparkles in it (I love the sparkles!), she likes feminine things like Darlene’s scarf! She has cares beyond the narrow minded programmer world, what with her speech about what fsociety means to her. No way did she never have some man look at her, sneer, and say ‘YOU are a programmer?’. I spent seven years in CSE, and I was STILL getting male assholes coming up to me and expecting me to be a ‘booth babe’ at conventions rather than a legit programmer (and they would grill me with questions and I’d have to smile and take it cause if you don’t they get even more mad). 

And to have Trenton rag on another woman who is trying to learn how to code???????? Fuck off with that crap. Especially when Angela is smart, resourceful, and worked at a cyber security company for a number of years even if it was on the public relations end, so she isn’t some computer illiterate grandma. Just watching the mobli dude try to show her how to do something was painful. already when she gets it wrong he’s like ‘ok lets do it again’ with a heavy sigh like its angela’s fault. like angela needs to know how exhausting it is being forced to teach someone like HER. when hey, maybe instead of repeating what isn’t working over and over, try to come up with a way of explaining that she gets? 

I’ve told this story before: where during the very first official computer science class I ever took I sat there while the professor put up preliminary courses and ‘cumulative final grades’ on the white board based on department. The CS department had an “A” average, the math dept had a “B”, the engineering dept a “C”, some bio class had a “D”, and then the lone art class had an “F” average. And he presented this like it was a joke. It was the first time the art department had ever offered a preliminary programming course. He had the whole class laughing at the idea that these dumb artists were going to try to be like us smart computer scientists in this class. And then he asked everyone to raise their hands and took count of the number of computer science kids in the class, the number who came from the math class...and so on. I think he wanted to prove that no one from the bio or art classes moved on to the next level. Because they didn’t have what it takes to be a Real Computer Scientist. And when he finally got to ‘art’ I remember raising my hand, in the very front row of the class, and smiling straight at him, dead serious no laughing. Everyone around me was laughing though, except for the professor. I think he honestly didn’t expect someone like me to be there. It was the most humiliating moment of my college career. Even just remembering it has me shaking like a leaf.

Later I went to the professor’s office hours, sat down one on one with him, informed him that while the art class average was an “F” I did in fact get a 100% “A”, and sweetly asked him what I needed to do to make sure I caught up to the class fast. He gave me a textbook (he was one of the good ones, if you tried, he really did care), and I read it cover to cover, and got a nearly 100% A in his class. Which given that this particular professor was known as a hard ass and well loved by the entire SCS for it, that A was BIG. then I met Sanjeev through my math concepts buddy. Sanjeev was one of the ‘math’ kids who also wanted to double in math and CS and who also got laughed out of the SCS dean’s office when he asked how to do this (his solution was to figure out what courses he needed, take them without permission, and then go to the SCS dean on his senior year and be like ‘give me my degree, i took all the classes’). Sanjeev and I then took every single one of that professor’s classes we could because he was the most difficult, most well respected professor in the entire university and if we made it there we could make it anywhere, got A’s on nearly all of my programming labs (the malloc lab being an exception which I am still bitter over and sanjeev thought was hilarious because its the only lab on which he got a better score than me despite me being a complete NERD for memory allocation). And STILL I had to repeatedly fight like hell to get spots in the SCS classes I needed to graduate. But by the end I was one of that professor’s favorite students, and sanjeev probably would have been too if he didn’t fall asleep in class so often. I like to think that me refusing to back down when the ‘real’ computer science kids tried so hard to belittle me and people like me, made it easier for that professor to be accepting of nontraditional students who came after me.

THIS is why my research project at my university was so important. We were trying to demystify learning to code, to make programming more accessible. To cut down that gap between who gets told that they’d be ‘good’ at programming and who gets told that it’s beyond their intellectual acumen. Trying to make programming literacy universal. It’s why we fought so hard to get more computer science classes in public schools, why we translated our IDE into so many different languages. All because one day in the 90′s my director was working at a public school in new york, and realized kids were struggling with a particular math concept, and that she had this program at her fingertips that could represent math visually, and that some of the kids learned a lot better when they had a visual goal to complete, like making a virtual ball bounce, rather than a long list of equations to solve. and then she took that idea to the king of VR during that time, and they started our project, which he would later go on to claim as his legacy because he too saw the importance of fighting for making computer science welcoming to ALL, not just the Elliots of the world. It’s kinda a different way of looking at revolution. fsociety wanted to take the power away from the white business men who held it, by using power thats been consolidated to people who had the time/resources/proper encouragement to learn coding and in a way / with a language that is as much about gatekeeping as the original source of power. but in recent years we’ve seen that these tech ‘geniuses’ can be equally as evil once they come into that power (doesn’t tyrell kinda make that point?). Education can broaden this knowledge and take away the reach of that power. thats why our current administration is so damn afraid of it and gives control over it to people like that dvos lady. 

If you tell a kid ‘you can do this’ they just might. If you tell a kid ‘this will be impossible for you’ they most likely will not. I would think the people in fsociety, ESPECIALLY Trenton, would understand that.