Actually-Incorrect Valicer Quotes: Romantic Ridiculousness Edition
Another set of quotes from the Perchance generator (some slightly edited), this time all with a "this is how they got together, incorrectly" theme --
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Victor: So, what’s Alice's type?
Smiler: Brown eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humor, dog lover.
Victor: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends.
Smiler: Did I mention oblivious?
Victor: Yeah, why?
Smiler: Okay, just making sure.
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Smiler: Hey, Alice, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?
Alice: Yeah.
Smiler: And you, Victor?
Victor: Umm... yes?
Smiler: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!
Victor: Did they just-
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Smiler: That shirt looks great, Alice.
Alice: Thanks.
Smiler: But I bet it would look even better on Victor's floor.
Victor: Are you hitting on Alice... for me?
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Victor: [head on the table] Did Alice just tell me she loved me for the first time?
Smiler: Yeah, she did.
Victor: And did I just do finger guns back?
Smiler: Yeah, you did.
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Alice: [texting] Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
Smiler: [texting] Did Victor say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?
Alice: [texting] THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–
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Victor: [pretending to joke] So when are you going to go out with me?
Smiler: [smiling] I don't know. When are you going to ask me to?
Alice: [later on] And you just ran away?!
Victor: I didn't expect them to flirt back!
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Smiler: [is wearing silk pants] How does this look?
Victor: Like its slips on and off really easily.
Smiler:
Victor: No, I didn't mean it like that-
Alice: We know what you meant.
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Victor: Well, remember when Smiler made a romantic dinner for me?
Alice: Victor, they microwaved you a pizza.
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Victor: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted.
Smiler: I’m “a couple of things.”
Alice: I’m “got distracted.”
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Victor: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication.
Smiler: It’s my turn to cuddle Alice.
Victor: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT!
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Random Other Person: So, what is Smiler to you two?
Victor and Alice: [look at each other]
Alice: The reason we wake up every morning.
Random Other Person: Aww, that’s adorable.
Smiler earlier that morning, barging into their shared room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!
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*grabbing mlm shippers by the shoulders* guys nobody needs to be the twink. nobody needs to be the sub. nobody needs to be the femboy. they can both be big fat hairy men who bask in each others masculinity or they can both be unspeakable monstrous creatures with inhuman genitalia it’s okay I’m holding your hand. Let me show you the way
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Me: *reading a post that makes the joke “Peeta dropped the baby bomb, Gale drops bombs on babies”* haha good one
Also me: you’re missing the point! You’re missing the point! YOURE MISSING THE POINT! He grew up starving. His best friend almost died of hunger. Most of his people live in poverty. He watched children die in a bloodbath every year for the capital’s entertainment. The girl he loved went into the games. Was tortured by the capitol. His district was bombed out of existence. Nearly everyone he knew was killed. Their only crime was being fed up of being hungry and oppressed and sharing the same district as Katniss. All those innocent people. Murdered. He had to take refuge in a district that was bombed out of existence and forced to live underground. Of course he joined the war effort. Of course he designed unethical bombs and battle tactics. He wanted revenge. He wanted the capitol to have a taste of their own medicine. He wanted the rebellion to succeed. And tell me you could live through what he did, and that no part of you would be screaming for Justice and vengeance. Gale is you. You are Gale. He represents a part of feelings and actions that reside within us, even if you don’t act on it.
“But he killed prim!” Exactly! Gale loved prim. She was a second family to her. He looked after Katniss’ family. He saved them from the district 12 bombings. He loved her. He never would’ve put her in danger. He never would’ve put in order for a bombing if it would kill Prim. But coin would. And did. She took what was meant to be a tool of Gale’s righteous revenge for all the suffering he and his people suffered through, only for someone in power to take it and use it to kill someone he loved.
There’s some many lessons to take. We can’t control the things we create. War spares no one. Even justifiable rage and actions can end up rebounding and hurting those you love instead of your targets.
“He drops bombs on babies” is too simplistic of a takeaway and does a disservice to the story and Gale.
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thinking about loz and getting emotional because like. this all started because there was a boy in the sky who lost his childhood best friend and was willing to do whatever it took to get her back. and now, over tens of thousands of years and multiple timelines later, she’s still falling from the sky and he’s still chasing her. when he wakes up and remembers nothing, he still chases her voice. and when he remembers everything and she’s falling again, he finally catches her
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