#with my issues of not driving job coach told them I need to be on a decent flexible availability

[thescoopstroopers]

Work schedules are not that bad and they have not fucked around with them at my older job they would constantly change them on the app they have for them

Anyways I’m going to bed now love y’all 💗💗

[bunnyseahorse-blog]

I don’t feel like my therapist is listening, so I fired him, and I don't even feel bad.

I have half a dozen serious mental illness diagnosis and medical issues. When I applied for disability I was approved in three months (usually takes longer from what I'm told) and almost immediately moved from their metaphorical “she might get better” to “she’s going to be receiving benefits for life” pile.

The doctor I saw from age 7 to 30 advised me not to drive because of my condition that causes me frequent fainting.

She suggested I not live alone because I have delusions, mood swings and sometimes need to be hospitalized. I saw this doctor for 23 years, and also went to other specialists that agreed with her. I saw her until she was retired.

My general doctor says that even though I am overweight she is pleased with my glucose and cholesterol levels. My old, and also my new psychiatrists agreed with her.

My parents say I can live with them and have support. They are actually creating an expansion on the house so I can live on my own sort of and still have them nearby. My eldest sibling is inheriting the house when my parents die and they will rent to me until I die. We don't always get along, but I am trying, and we are navigating our unique dynamic so we can make it work.

This new therapist I’ve been seeing keeps insisting I go off disability, get a job, move out of my family’s house, live alone, and lose weight. Because I’m too old to “mooch off my parents.” He made comments from the get go about my weight. I am overweight yes, but he's not a doctor or nurtritionist. I am not experiencing any health issues because of my weight, which is partly due to my medical conditions and my meds. He made a comment once that i should show some pride in myself and not wear a beanie to sessions "do something nice with my hair." He told me once my shoulders looked smaller and I must be doing better. I was thinking.... do I have fat shoulders too??

I am going to a session today to explain to him nicely that he needs to let me set my own goals, and also educate him on how my life really is. I don’t think therapists should require educating. If he doesn’t get it, I’m leaving the session but I’m giving it a shot anyways.

I’m scared and I’m angry. Wish me luck? I don't want to be a project for him. I want to talk about things in sessions that i need to, not what he considers on his own agenda.

EDIT: I went to the session and voiced my concerns about he got a little defensive, but eventually seemed to see what i was saying and switched his focus to what I told him my goals were. However... I wanted a therapist to help me work through my abandonment issues and trauma, not a life coach to push me. I think i might find someone with a different focus is good. (plus him getting defensive isn't a great sign to me) he also insinuated that my little sister, who he has heard off, never met and never examined, is mentally handicapped because of one of her birth parents. We've had her tested, and everyone seems to be saying she's very sharp and doesn't have what her birth mom has. He also asked what my doctor of 23 years even did for me. I was like... diagnosed me with everything I have? Oh but according to him, diagnoses aren't relevant. I have a condition similar to schizophrenia, and yes you should know if you have that....

Also... I signed something saying he could have access to the last notes of my previous therapist, since I have extensive history but he apparently never got it, never told me he didn't get it, and wants me to go through the process again. I feel like the office dropped the ball, because I signed it already.

I think it might be time to move on... I canceled my next appointment. I feel like I should be able to find someone who listens better, and is there to help me, not fix me into things I am not capable of. Having him insist I am wrong and lazy for excepting my limitations, after the long grieving process that came with becoming permanently disabled at 26, has been upsetting, because I keep doubting myself, even though I know I have done the right things.

[jsprnt]

Healing Hearts PT.2 | Virgil van Dijk

Would a fresh start bring you more than just a new job?

WC: 2.892

Summary: Y/N L/N is a very skilled and praised physiotherapist. A certain event pushing her for a fresh start, as a physiotherapist for Liverpool FC. One question always being in the back of her mind: Will she be able to let go of her past and allow herself to experience new things?

I am awoken by the blaring sound of my alarm. Why do I always have to wake up when my bed gets so comfy? I groan, fighting the urge to snooze my alarm, checking the time while at it. It's six now, two hours to make this face look like it has seen more than four hours of sleep.

I check my messages before washing up. Walking out to the bathroom to put on my outfit. Some 90's style jeans and a body hugging cropped shirt. Nothing too much, I'll have to wear my scrubs anyway. I make my bed and do some breathing exercises to calm my nerves, meeting new people was still a big challenge for me. I finish eating breakfast and turn on the coffee machine for a nice frothy cup of coffee. Admiring the view behind my window as I sip the last bit of my coffee. The city is not entirely up yet, people still enjoying their last minutes of sleep before going to work or school.

Walking back to my room for the best part of my morning, doing my make up! I apply my base carefully. First day means first impressions, I can't go overboard, not yet. I curl my long lashes, coating them with mascara. Lining my lips with brown liner, some lip balm on top for a subtle look. I take out my jewelry box, grabbing my usual gold necklace. It was custom made, adorning my name, a graduation gift from my mom. I look into the mirror, humming a song in satisfaction as I do my hair. I grab my bag, stuffing it with things I might need throughout the day. Finally, putting on my Nike dunks and leaving my house.

I walk downstairs to my car. Thankfully my dad had arranged for it to be imported from Spain a couple weeks ago, when I accepted this job. My dad had a thing for paying for my things, maybe it  was to make up for our strained relationship or something. Either way, I wasn't going to refuse his help, it benefited us both anyways. He'd feel like a present father, and I'd feel like he cared.

I jump into my car, the dashboard lighting up. I run my hands around the steering wheel for some comfort before I hit the road. The leather soft as I trace the Mercedes logo, I loved this baby. My G-class never failed to make me feel like the bad bitch I am. I told you working hard and spending hard had its perks. I turn on the navigation system, hoping it would take me straight to the training grounds without any issues.

I turn on some music, trying to drown out my nerves and thoughts. It was never too early for some Drake. I try to pay special attention to my surroundings, since the more I memorize, the faster I can get used to this route. My navigation system pings as it tells me I've arrived. I scan my surroundings, being greeted by a security post. I drive up to it, turning my music off and rolling my window down.

"Good morning, I'm here for the new physiotherapist job." I flash the security guard a smile, he is an older man, his hair graying slightly. I might as well get friendly since I'll be here almost everyday from today onwards. "Morning to you as well. Could you some show me some sort of identification, please?." I can't help but stare at the man, his scoucer accent making it hard for me to understand right away, I should get used to it quickly. I nod quickly pulling my ID from my wallet. He looks at it, scanning through a list, probably a list of staff? His eyes light up as he, I presume sees my name on the list. "Welcome, Dr. l/n, I'll call up the head coach so he can greet you at the door." He gives me a kind smile, handing me my ID back. "Thank you, I appreciate it." I shove my ID back into my wallet, driving into the training center parking lot as the gates open for me. I park, collecting my bag as I jump out of my car. Though, not before fixing my hair and make up.

I take in my surroundings, so this is what I'll be partially calling home now. I notice some other, what I presume to be staff walk into the training center. I walk in as well, immediately being greeted by the huge Liverpool FC emblem. I hold onto my bag tightly, trying to contain my nerves.

I look to my right, the reception. The woman behind the desk looks up, flashing me a smile as I go up to her, sitting down on the chair in front of her desk.

"Hi, I'm y/n l/n. I'm here for the physiotherapist job." She stares at me for a moment, before typing something on the computer. "Nice to meet you! I'm Clara, welcome to our family. I'll call down our head physio, just a second honey.”

Her response warms my heart as I nod. So far, I think I'll feel quite comfortable here. She picks up the phone, though her expression changes into one of surprise as she looks behind me, over my shoulder. "Oh, he is here already."

My eyes follow hers, being greeted by a man, around his 50's. He walks up to me, extending his hand to me. "Welcome Dr. l/n. I've heard a lot about you, nice to finally see the woman being so highly spoken of by my colleagues." I smile and grab his hand in a firm handshake. "It's an honor to finally meet you, Dr. Woods."

He chuckles, before letting go of my hand. "Let's talk more inside, the boss wants to meet you as well." I turn back towards Clara, mumbling a quick thank you to her, before following Dr. Woods inside the training center. I glance around, it’s is even bigger in real life. I had watched some YouTube video's of the club just to prepare and calm my anxiety, but seeing it in real life was very different. We stop in front of an office, the label reading 'Manager'. I raise my eyebrows in surprise. I'd already be meeting THE Klopp. I rub my hands together trying to get rid of that anxious feeling.

Dr. Woods knocks on the door loudly, the door is opened a couple of seconds later, revealing Klopp.

"Hey, I'm here to introduce our new physiotherapist." The doctor informs. Klopp looks at me, giving me one of his famous smiles. "Right of course, come in." He opens the door wider, we both walk in. He ushers us to sit down on his red sofa's. He sticks out his hand, we shake hands as he introduces himself, with that all too well known German accent. "It's always nice to greet new members of our big family. Welcome, I'm Jürgen Klopp." I introduce myself as well, his eyes light up in recognition as I tell him my name. "I've heard very great things about you Dr. l/n. I'm very happy to see you here."

"No it's an honor for me, this club is amazing and I'm happy to contribute to the team." I reply, my worries and nerves had been washed away just like- that. I just know that this was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

We start chatting about how I've adjusted to living here, my education and my experience before they start asking different questions.

"So that means you speak how many languages?"

Dr. Woods asks curiously.

"Well my native tongues would be Dutch since I was born and raised in The Netherlands and Turkish, since I'm half Turkish. I'm also fluent in English as you can hear." We chuckle. "Though I do speak some Spanish and Catalan since I worked at FC Barcelona for two years, as you know."

"Great so you'll have no problem with speaking to the players huh? Especially our very loved Dutch players." We laugh at Klopps comment. I secretly hope that too.

Our conversation comes to an end as Klopp suggests I meet the players. He checks his watch, before looking at me. "Players will come in any moment now. They'll start with warming up." Dr. Woods chimes in. "It will be a recovery day since the team played a match yesterday as you may have followed."

Oh yeah I did. I watched it just so I could take notes on the players, the draw at the end was kind of disappointing. Though, it was better than losing.

"Right, I did watch it. Just to study a little before I do see the team play in real life."

"You're impressive Doctor, doing homework before even starting to work." Klopp says. "Oh it's nothing really, just prepares me for what I might encounter as I start working here." I dismiss.

We stand up after a short while, Dr. Woods taking me to put on my scrubs. I mentally pray they have pink ones, both of my former clubs did have them. He walks up to a machine, telling me exactly how the scrub dispenser worked. I nod, pressing some buttons before choosing my size. The scrubs are a- dark red? Well, at least they are part of the club colors. Dr. Woods leads me to the woman's staff changing room. I walk and change quickly putting my hair up in a claw clip.

I walk out of the room after putting my stuff in my locker, and installing a code on it. "I'm ready."

I tell him, he looks at my scrubs for a second. "Red looks great on you Dr. l/n, part of the family already." We chuckle before he leads me to the gym.

A sudden wave of nervousness hits me. I had known that the players were very friendly, still I couldn't help but feel like an unsure inexperienced intern again. We walk into the gym, it's big with plenty of space for calisthenic training like, push-ups and burpees. I look around seeing some the worlds best star players. I've worked some of the best football players like Lewandowski and Frenkie de Jong, but this still felt super insane.

I notice Klopp walking in as he calls for the players to gather around to introduce me. I glance around, they all give me a kind smile as Klopp tells them I'll be their new physiotherapist starting this new season, and of course he couldn't help but mention I'm Dutch. "Nice to meet everyone, I look forward to working with you all." I give them a smile, my dimples on full display. Suddenly, one of the players walks up to me, I immediately recognize him, who wouldn't? It's the caption of the team, well of his national team too. Virgil towers over me, sticking out his hand, his tall frame couldn't be compared to what you see on TV or the pitch. "Welcome to our team y/n, or should I call you doctor." He flashes me a beautiful smile, making me shake his hand and smile in respons. "Hi, y/n is fine, it's good to be here." Other players come to greet me as well, not to forget Robertson, who has to crack a joke about another Dutch person joining the club. "You'd think it was planned huh." We laugh and chat for a bit before Klopp redirects the attention back to him.

"Alright everyone, it's recovery day so take it easy and tell our doctors if something's up as they assist you."

Dr. Woods turns to me, telling me to follow his lead as I slowly start getting the gist of how everything works here. I nod at him, watching as he talks to the players about any soreness they're experiencing.

The day progress quickly as lunch time hits, we walk into the canteen. Seems like players and staff eat at the same time just like in Barcelona.

I walk through the the buffet as I'm greeted by Gakpo.

"Dus je bent echt Nederlands?" (So you're actually Dutch?) he asks in Dutch, full of curiosity. "Natuurlijk, geboren en getogen. Net als jij." (Of course born and raised. Just like you.)

He gives me a cute smile before we continue speaking in Dutch as we fill up our plates with healthy and delicious food.

He invites me to sit with the team. I glance at him wondering if it is a good idea. Well I did sit with the players at Barca too. "Are you sure?" I ask. "Yeah, look around players sit with staff at every table." I take a glance around, he was right staff and players were sitting together at every table. Chatting and laughing together. "Okay then, I'll sit with you guys."

He leads me to a table, already occupied by Trent, Virgil, Joel, Andrew and new star transfer Dominik Szoboszlai. "Doctor, very nice of you to sit with us." Virgil chimes in. "Well I couldn't refuse when Cody offered, we're practically already family based on the fact that we're Dutch hm." The table erupts in laughter, as we glance at Cody. "Of course the Dutch lad steals the doctor before we get to know her." Trent teases, his Scouse accent thick. "Where did you work before joining us?" Robbo asks, shoving a spoonful food into his mouth. Everyone at the table turns to me for my answer.

I clear my throat before answering. "I first interned at Ajax, I got a three year contact there after graduating. Then I got offered a position at Barcelona, worked there for two years." They nod in acknowledgement. Before Cody mentions something. "Oh you're the famous pretty doctor?!" I stare at him confused. "What do you mean?" "Well the national team players used to always talk about a pretty doctor working at Ajax." I raise a brow at his words, glancing at Virgil to confirm, since he also is apart of the national team. "Can't lie Doctor, they did talk about a pretty Doctor." I give them an impressed look. "I guess that would be me?" I chuckle.

We chat some more as everyone chimes in, though some of their faces turning confused. "Wait how old are you then?" One of them asks. "Oh I'm twenty-five." I reply. "Wow, you're pretty impressive for someone so young." Joel says. I thank him as we all continue eating and chatting in between bites.

Recovery training had gone by fast. I had gotten much more familiar with team and how they operate. Klopp dismisses everyone, as we all walk back into our designated changing rooms. Though, I'm quickly stopped by Dr. Woods. He tells me he'll make sure someone adds me to the staff group chat, as well as the group chat the entire club is in. We then bid each other goodbye as I enter the female staff changing room. I take a minute to sit down and to take it all in, that really just happend huh.

I change quickly putting my outfit back on and discarding my scrubs into the laundry basket. I do a quick make up refresh and hair fix before I grab my bag and take out my car keys. I walk through the hallways slowly, looking around for things I might have not seen yet. I’m totally in my own world before I hear my name being called. I turn around, I'm greeted by both Trent and Dominik, seems like they had been getting along nicely since Dominik had transferred here.

"Are you going out?" The new star asks. "Yeah, you guys aren't?" I lift a brow at them. I can see small smirks on their faces, they look like schoolboys hiding something. "Oh yes, we're leaving just now." We chat a little before we walk outside, saying goodbye to Clara at the reception. I notice other cars had parked right next to mine. "Bye doctor, we'll see ya tomorrow, right?" The Scoucer says. I nod "See you guys!" They wave before they both get into their respective cars.

I unlock my car, climbing in before closing the door. I place my bag onto the passengers seat, leaning back for a second. First day: survived.

Sadly, my peace is interrupted by a loud car horn. I raise my head and lower my window, it's the car next to me? I squint, it's an English car so I can see who it is from my seat. The person lowers down his windows as well. It's Virgil?

"What's wrong?" I half shout, so he can hear me through the loud engine of his car. "Nothing just wanted your attention." I chuckle, man these football players never got tired of teasing people. I roll my eyes playfully, before starting my car. I wave at him, before driving my car out of the parking slot.

I get home rather quickly, my speakers playing my favorite songs loudly. I enter my house, feeling fulfilled. I throw myself on my couch after washing up. I reflect on the day, the players and staff were amazingly kind. Though, that small interaction with Trent and Dominik was weird, why were they so smirky?

[babykentthegent]

An Austin Adoption

It’s been one week since the newest member of our family joined this world. Looking back at this past month feels surreal. It’s true what they say...once you have a child, you forget what life was like before them. The purpose of this blog is to share with family and friends Kent’s journey and development in his first year. One thing is for sure - he is one happy boy! This kid cannot stop smiling. Either he’s exceptionally happy or he is one gassy dude, haha. Let’s go with the former. He’s also remarkably bright! He’s already trying to hold the bottle for himself and is a great self-soother. His diet consists of formula and he is A-ok with it being room temperature. When he does cry, it’s always warranted and is his way of communicating his need. We then quickly run down the list: Does he need a diaper change? Is he hungry? Is he too cold/hot? Is he gassy? Once we identify the issue and take care of it, he’s back to being all smiles. 

It was Thursday, May 18th at 11:37 PM when we received a text from the birth mom that read “And go!” She also told us to drive safe and not speed. This was after our false alarm fiasco on Cinco de Mayo...a story for another time. Let’s just say it involved a full moon, a cyclone of a storm complete with thunder and lightening, torrential downpour so hard the windshield wipers failed their only job, roads flooding, tree branches falling, followed by me puking so hard I popped all of the blood vessels in my face and neck. But this blog isn’t about me, so back to baby Kent. We made our way to St. David’s North Austin Medical Center, stopping to buy milk for the birth mom who had requested it for her heartburn. She tried to buy it herself but got impatient with the clerk and yelled at him that she was in active labor then left. We spent the evening and morning with the birth mom in her hospital room. While she was only 2 cm dilated, the doctors proceeded with inducing her, and eventually gave her an epidural. For hours she slept through her contractions. Epidurals are no joke! When she finally did wake up, the painful contractions didn’t last long. The doctor’s scrubbed me up as I was the person in charge of catching the baby and announcing the gender. Rob held the birth mom’s hand and opted to be her coach on the north end of things. The midwife checked her cervix to see if she was ready and I could already see the top of Kent’s head! Just three pushes later, at 1:49 PM on May 19th, he was born! I quickly shouted, “it’s a boy” to the room. A whopping 6 lbs 15 oz and 20″ long. A tiny but long little dude! The whole thing happened so fast that I barely had time to process it all. And just like that, we became parents. 

We spent the next 48 hours in the hospital with Kent by our side. In Texas, the right of revocation for the birth mom is 48 hours. Kent’s birth mom was kind to allow us this bonding time with him which also allowed us to get a crash course from the hospital nurses on his care. We had to wake up every hour to feed him, but eventually he took to the bottle and never looked back. In our 12 years together, I’ve never seen Rob so happy. And he’s a natural! He’s now a pro at diaper changes, feedings, and soothing Kent like he’s been doing it for years. The way he looks at him brings tears to my eyes. Is someone cutting onions? It’s the same unconditional love that I have for Kent. 

After my mom died, I lost that level of bonded connectedness that a mother and child share. That all changed the day that Kent came into our lives. Once again the bond is back and I feel it stronger than ever. Not having family, especially my mom, there to be with us was difficult to say the least. One night I called my sister crying in need of support and within hours she hopped on a plane from California to come be there. Kent is so lucky to have an Auntie that would do that for the three of us. Once she arrived, she commented on our hospital room number (222). She shared that this was an angel number and that there were angels by our side. When I looked it up, I learned that it’s the angels’ way of telling you to let go and relinquish control of the situation and to trust the process. It was then I knew that we weren’t alone in that room and that everything was going to be okay. I could feel a strong presence and was certain that my mom, Rob’s dad, and Rob’s grandpa Kent were with us. It brought us another layer of comfort that we so desperately needed.

Before we knew it, it was time to sign the adoption paperwork. After the signing, I felt overwhelmed with emotion and just sobbed. The build up to this had been a bit stressful and hectic to say the least, but once it was all said and done we were over the moon with joy. The hospital took photos of Kent before we were discharged. Shortly after, we buckled our newborn in his carseat and were off to the races. We went back to our friend’s house, where we stayed while in Texas, and spent the rest of the time getting to know our new little one. We had to wait for the state of Texas to process the paperwork before we could get the green light to fly home. In the meantime, we have enjoyed every moment we’ve had with him and we just can’t get enough.

Kent is so alert and just loves to look at you. When he’s being fed, or just relaxing in your arms, he likes to cross his ankles. He has the cutest little mouth with puffy, adorable lips. He absolutely loathes being cold and when he’s cozy in his swaddle or sitting on the back porch in the humid weather, he is a happy boy. We’ve quickly learned how much laundry a tiny human produces, not to mention the diapers. He’s peed on us several times. It’s like a dang firehose! Sometimes right after we change a poopy diaper, he’ll immediately poop in it again...then we’re on to diaper three in a matter of moments. The first several days were late nights with little to no sleep. Yet, one week in, Kent is already letting mommy and daddy sleep a bit longer. On his three day checkup, the pediatrician here in Texas gave him a clean bill of health! Our favorite thing to do is sit outside as a family, drink coffee, and listen to the birds chirp. 

We gave Kent his first bath back at the house and he handled it like a champ. It’s funny how similar babies and the elderly that require long-term care...you can’t trust a fart and you have to rely on others to feed and sponge bathe you. He got the tiniest little diaper rash, so we’ve been going above and beyond to try to help it heal. Even going to the extent of pulling his butt cheeks apart and blowing air on him to dry. That’s how much we love this kid - enough to blow on his butthole. The things you do for love. I tried to clip his nails when we got home and cut off part of his skin, causing it to bleed a little. He didn’t cry or seem to notice, but I cried and felt horrible! Lucky for me, my sister-in-law called to tell me that parents aren’t perfect and you’re going to make mistakes. This put me at ease because it’s so easy to feel like you’re a bad parent when you do make a mistake. 

It’s true what they say - it takes a village. We’ve been so fortunate to have the support of friends and family. Our friends have allowed us to bunk up at their house and use their car this whole month, saving us a ton of money. My stepdad is house sitting and getting it ready for our homecoming. Rob’s parents are always there to talk to when we need them and helping out at home where they can. We’ve had family watch our dogs so we don’t have to worry about them. Other family that has sent us gifts and even dinner one night. It truly does take a village and Kent’s village is massive. 

In just four days we will be taking a flight back to Seattle. We can’t wait to get our routine and life started with him there. We fall more in love with him each day and are excited to watch him grow, learn, develop, and progress. He really is our little gentleman. His name is Kent, some call him KJ, I call him bubba or booboo or whatever obnoxious nickname that rolls off my tongue in response to his cuteness. Kent John, you have an exciting life ahead of you little dude. And we couldn’t be happier to be the ones to show you the world. 

[fuck-customers]

Hello lovelies, been a while since I submitted. But this time I'm submitting on behalf of my friend. Let's call her Bev (not her real name obvi). Long post ahead, tl;Dr at bottom.

Bev used to work at my university's Filet of Chix. She became blue shirt in like two years. She was very good at managing and keeping the line going, which I even saw personally when I went in there some days. She ended up leaving due to a mix of medical concerns and high school level drama over the summer.

Around June of this year, she decided she was gonna find another job. She ended up applying and immediately getting hired on at a local ice cream store. She was excited. It paid 8.50 but with tips it could be up to $12 or $16 an hour - which is no problem during the summer as their tips jars are constantly overflowing. Bev was excited for the pay increase, seeing as how she was leaving a job that only paid her $10.05 an hour.

Bev starts, and her location is actually six buildings down from where I work. I go get her on my lunch breaks, take her to work, she rides home with someone else at the end of the night (cant drive due to her previously mentioned medical issues) It's a good arrangement. She gets along with her coworkers, her coworkers even start being buddy buddy with me.

Then the shit hits the fan maybe like. Three weeks into her starting. There is another girl who has been there for a while, let's name her Lee. When Bev was looking for a job and had inquired about the ice cream store hiring, Lee encouraged her as a) they desperately needed help and b) Lee bragged that she was able to afford tattoos with how much tip money they got. Bev even admitted that she may have had a slight crush on Lee forming (despite us having known her for five minutes, bless) so we figured she was chill.

Bev starts working and it's a few shifts before she finally works with Lee, who is considered a shift lead.  The more Bev works with Lee the more they start to rub each other the wrong way - Lee gets snappy and rude during rushes, starts to panic, Bev instinctively takes control to get people out the door. Lee apparently sees this as Bev trying to come in and take her position as shift lead - which Bev does not want as she just wants money to be able to buy groceries with. Lee starts to get short with Bev. Doesn't talk to her unless it's to tell her to go clean bathrooms or take out trash. Lee also likes to hide in the back on her phone, only stand at the register on her phone, or stand in the way of everyone trying to get ice cream scooped and all that IN FRONT OF GUESTS. She also makes openly crude sex jokes in front of kids, makes customers uncomfortable complaining about her own health issues, and even cussed out a customer for clarifying what flavor they wanted when someone ELSE was working on scooping the order.

"Wow Kyrie, that doesn't sound like very appropriate behavior for a shift lead at an ice cream store." You're right. Which is why Bev complained to the owner. Along side some other coworkers who are also fed up with Lee's behavior. Not to mention if you go on Doodle and look up this ice cream store there are reviews literally complaining about Lee's behavior, one star reviews. Supposedly there are also cameras in the store that record audio as well. Lee has apparently been coached and fussed at about her behavior before, even before Bev started working there.

The place is short staffed, so letting her go is a tough decision apparently. Lee is also the only one who can reliably go back and forth between this location and the one in a town 30 minutes away, supposedly. Lee tells me this when I come in to drop off Bev one day and I need ice cream as I can feel myself getting light headed from having not eaten. Lee is excitedly chatting with me, not even acknowledging Bev trying to clock in at the damn register but can't because Lee is blocking it.

Bev complains to the owners again. Owners tell her they will talk with Lee. This pattern of Lee being rough with Bev continues for a couple of weeks. Some days I go in after I get off work because I want the sugar, and Bev is working. I witness the behavior Bev has talked about - Lee hiding on her phone, Lee making tasteless jokes, one time Lee even came over to my table during a rush to complain about her hip while a large group of families were placing orders and everyone else was running around scooping ice cream and making cones and ringing them up - Bev included.

Even better: Bev's medical issues make it so sometimes she'll have minor seizures and needs to sit. Owners said they understood, there's a stool she can sit on to ring out customers, just bring in a doctor's note when she can. Bev is in the process of getting an official doctor's note when the owners decide to take away the stool and say that no one can sit because Lee will sit on it on her phone in front of customers. They also start to doubt Bev's claims about her medical issues when the doctors note doesn't come in after two weeks (her fucking doctor up and left the practice and the office staff didn't want to produce a note until they heard back from the doctor. Lovely!)

Junp forward to about a month and a half after Bev starts working there. Classes start back up so Bev only works weekends.

She goes onto the app they use to check schedules and sees that she's not even been rostered after her last shift. She mentions it to another shift lead she's on good terms with who says they will mention it to the owner.  Bev decides to just take the days off to catch up on school work.

The following week she can't even log onto the app. Says her credentials are invalid. She goes to change her password and it won't even let her do that as the app is saying she's not even in the system. Calls me up after I get off my job that day to talk about it - as she's going through other issues and this is the straw that broke the camels back. Why can't she even log in to see when she's working now? Is it because she's complained about Lee? When it has been presented that Lee is a problem in that workplace? She texts the shift lead she's on good terms with again, who says they'll ask the owner what's going on.

Today (Sept. 6th) Bev messages me. She had apparently submitted a request to officially rejoin the scheduling app and it was rejected by the owner of the store. Good shift lead knows nothing. A couple days ago I had gone into the store to get my parents some ice cream (their request) and Lee was still working there; her and the other employees still acting buddy buddy with me. So I know that Lee is still there but Bev isn't.

It appears, my friends, that Bev has been let go in the most UNPROFESSIONAL manner I have ever seen. She's not even been contacted by the owners about missing any shifts - not that it appears she even had any to miss.

I question the legalities of this. Yes, unfortunately we live in an at-will state and I have heard of things like this happening before where people technically are "fired" by not being scheduled or even contacted by management. I'm encouraging Bev to apply for unemployment to help her while she's in school, since I think she has a case here. It sucks, but I think she'll benefit in the end as she can now focus on her school and hopefully get a source of income elsewhere. 

Tl:Dr- my friend Bev quits Christian chicken store to work at an ice cream store. Starts off well, rubs arms with another employee who has been known to be a problem child. Bev ends up being the one let go without even being told anything by management. She wants even there three months.

[shishu-writes]

hi! your inarizaki manager headcanons were super cute so i was wondering if I could request headcanons or a scenario idm! of inarizaki maybe accidentally making their smol manager cry? 🥺

𝐈𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐫𝐲

Warnings: Language, Atsumu being mean

WC: 1.5k

Genre: Angst if you squint, fluffy ending

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this one! Thank you for the awesome req anon 💞

It had been a long day for everyone, the summer camp was grueling. The first two days of the week-long camp had been going alright, however the boys had lost a lot more games than they had originally anticipated. They just couldn’t seem to get into the groove of it, and it was putting everybody in a slump.

 The night of the second day of camp really put everyone on edge. Kita had called everyone, including you to the room they had been staying in to talk over why they have been in this slump and maybe find a solution. Opposing views on why the team was lacking during the past few days surfaced and Atsumus pessimistic attitude set something off in Suna, which resulted in the boys arguing.

Osamus bad habit of instigating emerged, which escalated the argument to a point where Kitas yelling would only fuel the argument more, which, in turn, made Aran try to calm Kita down, that then led to the two of them also arguing. Hitoshi had enough and left the room for a walk around the building, not even wanting to risk getting involved. Michinari and Ren sat with you in the corner, in silence, Michinari chose to stay purely for entertainment purposes, and Ren just wanted to sleep. 

As you turned to spark conversation with Ren a loud slap echoed through the room. Quickly your head snapped back to the group of boys. It took a couple of seconds to register what was happening. Everyone stood in silence and shock as Suna held his fist, Atsumu gripping his cheek. 

He glared at Suna before reeling back his arm to throw a punch towards him, Kita quickly grabbed his fist and shoved him against the wall, Aran dragged Suna outside, and Ren quickly scrambled up to follow the two boys. 

“I don’t know what the fuck you two think you’re doing but I will absolutely not hesitate to tell coach and get you both kicked off of this fucking team! We aren’t fucking middle schoolers Atsumu! When we have a problem we talk it out like adults we don’t start throwing fucking punches ESPECIALLY when you two are fucking teammates!” Kita yells, barely taking a breath between words. 

“If this shit continues the rest of camp you are both off the team. And you...we will have words.” Kita hisses, directing his final words at Osamu. Kita exits the room, leaving only The Miyas, you, and Michinari. 

Quietly, you shuffle towards Atsumu, who had slumped himself against the wall, sitting on the floor while cupping his cheek. “A-Atsumu…” you whisper, slowly sitting down in front of him while Osamu stands behind you. Slowly you reach your hand out, “Can I...take a look at your cheek for you..? I should bandage it before it starts bruising..” 

Gently you move to place your hand over his and right as the pads of your fingers touch his hand he slaps it away, scattering onto his feet. “Don’t fucking touch me. Get the fuck away from me..” He hisses at you, glaring down at you from above “I just-” “You just what? You’re only here because no other fucking club wanted you around! You thrive on the attention we give you in exchange for what? You nagging at us all hours of the fucking day? Give me a break, you have to be the most annoying girl I've ever met.” 

It takes him a couple seconds to realize what he said, both him and Osamu are silent. Michinar had been slowly making his way out of the room, the door slightly ajar, but he, too, was now frozen in shock. Tears brimmed the corner of your eyes until they overflowed. 

Quickly you stood up, running out of the half open door to be faced with the rest of the team who seemingly heard the whole thing. Too ashamed to look up at them you ran past, leaving the building. “I'll get her.” Aran spoke up, running in the direction you left while the rest of the team filed back into the room. 

Atsumu stood, dejected, arms hanging by his sides with a look of regret on his face. “I didn't mean it..” He whispers. Kita sighs, running a hand through his hair. “We know that. She's the only person that could truly ever put up with you...but she doesn’t. And you know how she is. She's going to take it to heart, because it's coming from someone she looks up to.” he whispers.

 Atsumu runs his hands over his face, sitting back on the ground. “Let's give her time...Let Aran work his magic.” Hitoshi says lightheartedly, sitting back on his mat.

-

The next day the team gets a very harsh scolding from their coach, the majority were issued warnings and went on their way. During the first couple hours of practice you were nowhere to be seen. After lunch the coach had called the boys for another meeting back in their room. He sat on the floor, placing his hands on his lap. “Can someone explain to me why Y/n just let me know that after the camp ends she will be resigning from her position?”

Almost immediately everyones heart simultaneously dropped, pure shock riddled with everyone's features. “Sh-she what?” Kita stutters out. “She told me today at lunch that she didn’t feel as though she was the correct person for the job, and that the team needed someone better. She offered me a list of potential new managers, however I feel like this has something to do with the fight that happened last night..” 

The boys all looked at Atsumu and he quickly got up, exiting the room before running to the managers quarters. When he got there he knocked twice, opening it quickly to find you sitting alone on your mat, looking through a list of potential club options. “Y/n!” “A-ah...Atsumu, good afternoon..” you mutter, looking up at him then quickly looking back down. 

“Why are you leaving the club? You know we need you-w-we’d be a mess if you didn’t take care of us like you do..” he stutters. Walking towards you slowly and sitting in front of you on the mat “You guys will be alright, it's not like I do much anyways...I gave a list of some really talented first years to the coach that should be an even better replacement.” “We want you! Y/n I know I said some really...really terrible things but I promise you I didn’t mean a word of it. I was just angry and I had been bottling it all up since we got here and I took it out on you and it wasn't fair. You take such good care of us...You make us each feel cared for and you do everything we ask of you and go above and beyond..You hold us together and.. We will never have a manager that could even compare to you...you’re also...our friend...and i’d hate to see you leave because I was acting like a fucking idiot. Please forgive me.” 

Stifling a sob, you nod. Atsumu wasn't one to show vulnerability to people, you and Osamu were the exception. His words were genuine, and you knew it by the way he looked you in the eyes when he spoke. 

He pulls you in for a tight hug, letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. “So you'll stay with the team?” he whispers. “I couldn't just leave my family like that..” you whisper. “If you say some stupid shit like that to Y/n again I wont hesitate to break your nose next time.” A voice speaks up that you immediately identified as Sunas. 

As you looked up, the team was standing at the door, half smiles resting on their lips. “Don't think about leaving us like that again..i'd hate to have those sleepovers at my place monthly if you weren't helping me keep an eye on these idiots.” Kita speaks up, earning a giggle from you. 

You wave the boys over and they all shuffle in, sitting with you. “Let's work really hard the rest of the camp okay? Afterwards I think we need some serious bonding time so I say...Weekend road trip to the beach?” “Fine by me if Kita and Samu drive!” “That was the plan Michinari, you'd kill us halfway there..” “We have to split the Miyas up-” “I call Y/n in my car!” “rock paper scissors over her!” “I'm going in Kita’s car-” “Can we please resume practice now?” the coaches voice calls out through the room, his tone light, a smile adorning his features as you all turn to look at him. 

The team nods, still holding their conversation about seating on the trip down to the beach, and over the next few days they were able to get it back together, surprising the other teams there with the sudden difference in skill. 

You really were the thing that held these boys together.

and they couldn’t ask for a better manager, or a more reliable friend.

[purekesseltrash]

Chapter 12 of Bury Them Deep, the final chapter, is out!

Fave Excerpt:

Mezou jammed his hands inside of his coat pockets, unsure of what to say or even do besides grin like an idiot.  Tokoyami came to a stop finally and stared at Mezou, mouth open as if he was about to speak.  He gaped for a moment more before a distinctly annoyed look came across his features.  “Fuck,” he hissed, “I had a whole speech that I was thinking up on the way here and suddenly I have found my mind to be a blank slate.”

Mezou laughed, unable to help himself, “I don’t need speeches.”

Tokoyami stepped forward to grab at Mezou’s coat, his grip firm and his face honest, “You deserve them.  I fear I am an incurable romantic and this is simply how I function.  But my words have fled like cowards and the only part of the speech that I can remember is this, but it is the important part.  Let me take you on a date.  A real one.”

“I’d like that,” Mezou said softly.

Fun Facts:

- Hand to god, I had not decided on names for all of Shouji’s siblings until I had to write them.  Thank you, Japanese Name Generator.  Though Makoto is another Sailor Moon reference.  I also had not know that Shouji’s mom was where he got his artistic eye from, though I am glad for it.

- My favorite Hip song is ‘Lake Fever’ or ‘Scared’.  I thought that the lyric in Lake Fever was ‘You whispered Courage’ for the longest time, legitimately until I checked the lyrics to write the pivotal fucking scene only to find out that no, it was ‘hurry’.  It all worked out, thank GOD.

- IDK if anyone noticed, but I ship them as Tokoshouji, as opposed to Shoutoko.  I like the idea of Tokoyami being one taking the initiative better and it seems to fit his character anyway.  I don’t see this dynamic often and it drives me nuts because I could write an ESSAY on why it works so well.  Idk.

- Not even gonna lie, the last Mic segment made me cry.  It was like my final good bye to everyone reading, it’s personal.  And it’s basically me peeking out there, as opposed to just Mic.  For all of hockey’s shitty aspects, it’s the best game in the world.  I love it and I want it to be good and I will do what I can to make it be good.

More stuff under the read more about my future plans with this universe:

- So I have written a chapter and a half of an Erasermic prequel, basically telling the story of what happened when Shouta retired and ended up drugged to the gills and numb to the world at Hizashi’s doorstep, despite the two of them not having seen each other in legitimately over 10 years.

- I also have a side story of Kirishima and Bakugou, both with an idea of how they got together as well as what happens to them when they get to the NHL.  (Spoilers:  Kirishima does not have a good time as the first out and gay NHLer.  He basically gets buried in the minors despite being legitimately good.  Eventually he finally quits hockey way too young.  Bakugou meanwhile is a generational talent and is legit too good to bury in the minors.  When Kirishima retires, Bakugou flies to Tokoyami and Shouji’s house, where Kirishima is licking his wounds, and is like ‘Marry me.’  Kirishima tells him that he’s only going to say yes if Bakugou proposes with a Cup ring and Bakugou is like ‘Bet’.

- I also have one in mind on Ojiro and Shinsou.  They had an amicable breakup when they graduated, both understanding that the life of a hockey wife wasn’t gonna work for Ojiro.  Ojiro went on to meet a super cool alt girl through the info sec community and they got married and had a daughter.  They end up splitting up amicably when their daughter is around 7 and split custody without much of an issue.  Ojiro works remotely and lives in what is basically a lake cabin up in northern Minnesota.  He and Shinsou have kept in touch and when Shinsou finally retires, he comes to visit Ojiro.  The fic would go over them meeting up again.

- And then, of course, there’s Shouji and Tokoyami.

They get their shitty apartment in Atlanta.  Kenta helps them with the deposit and also goes with Shouji as he tries to find one.  Shouji ends up getting taken on by Orca, a buddy of Loder’s who generally doesn’t take Midwestern farm boys on as apprentices but he makes an exception, despite the fact that his work very afro centric.  Shouji is a nice guy though and a damned hard worker and has a good eye so Orca keeps him on for a long while.  Shouji still ends up picking up a bunch of odd jobs here and there, mostly grunt work like putting up drywall, but it gets him and Tokoyami through the absolute agony that is legal school.

Tokoyami goes into intellectual property law.  He knows how much work goes in to art and creative stuff and he wants to protect people like Shouji.  He ends up making a pretty nice living and they’re able to pay off the credit card debt that they accumulated during Tokoyami going through law school.  Shouji actually starts doing pretty well for himself too, mostly with his pottery but still with some sculpture.  Eventually Tokoyami proposes that they move to Raleigh, both because it makes sense for both of them and their jobs and well... because they have a hockey team.

Shouji never gave up hockey.  He had some years right after college where he did struggle to even look at his gear.  He had told his parents that he was gay and not going to the NHL over the phone as they were planning to come to his graduation, because he just couldn’t take them wasting money when he knew that they would never want to talk to him again.  Unfortunately, he was right.  Kenta still came to his graduation though and had two bullhorns that he slammed the entire time that Shouji was accepting his diploma.  He even brought Shouji his own pride flag and insisted on taking a picture with him holding it.  He posted the picture on his facebook with a very bold pronouncement that he was very proud of the first Shouji to get a college degree and how anyone that had a problem with his little brother could take it up with Kenta.  Still, Shouji went through some real mourning with the loss of his family and he took a small break.

But then he came back to it, once they started to get a little extra spending money.  He found a beer league group in Atlanta and started to really get back into the game, researching ways to improve in his downtime.  It got a little weird sometimes at the beer league games because sometimes Shouji would forget that he’d decided to wear eyeshadow or would forget that he had on entirely wrong undergarments but everyone accepts that goalies are weird so it was accepted.  Eventually he ends up having people ask him to coach for their kids, which he is loathe to do until Tokoyami points out that it’s better than Shouji do it, as someone who knows how damaging expectations and pressure can be, than anyone else.  So that becomes a little part time job of his.

Everything isn’t perfect for Shouji and Tokoyami.  Nothing is perfect.  Tokoyami is a borderline hoarder and Shouji can’t stand mess and that causes them to fight enough that they wisely seek counselling. But they’re happy.  Tokoyami eases up on the goth stuff and accepts his accent a bit more, though he still dresses in dark colors, especially for court.  Shouji actually gets to play around a little with the whole genderqueer thing and makes up for the time that he spent avoiding anything that would make him seem too gay.  And they still work really well together, becoming the pair that everyone from college kind of groans at, because they’re so ridiculously in love, but also envies.

They get season tickets to the Carolina Hurricaines.  You’ll see them with Tokoyami in a Devils jersey and Shouji with one of many from his massive collection.  Tokoyami will make comments here and there during the game, showing that he does actually listen when Shouji talks about goalie stuff and they only ever miss a game for gallery openings or work events.  Otherwise, they are there in their seats, holding hands and watching the game.

Feel free to ask me any questions!  I’m more than happy to talk about this, if you couldn’t tell.  (Also, I do have some half written smut so uh.... yeah.)

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Craving

ShinoMitsu Week 2021 Day Four: (Time Skip, Craving, Fashion) Really could be time skip too, just a small one.

A/N: Here we are, safe to read for anyone, manga reader or not! Please enjoy the rest of the week! It’s all fluff : ) Word Count: 2,056

Shinobu checked the time on her phone, noting with surprise, that it was nearly midnight. She marked her page and pushed her heavy textbook aside before stretching her arms high above her head.

Getting up from her desk with the intent of going to bed, she only just pulled back her covers when her phone buzzed in her hand. There was only one person who would be texting her this late and she could bet she knew exactly what they were texting about.

She looked down at her phone and sure enough, Mitsuri’s name shone back at her with a simple one word question surrounded by an array of puppy dog eye and heart emojis. It read, “food?”.

Shinobu was no stranger to Mitsuri’s late night cravings by now. A smile tugged at Shinobu’s lips as she typed out her reply, “Sure. Usual?”

Almost immediately Mitsuri responded with an enthusiastic, “yes!” and even more emojis. Shinobu chuckled to herself and then headed to her closet to change out of her lounge clothes.

Every once in awhile since they had started dating officially a couple months ago, Mitsuri would text or call Shinobu in the late hours of the night to join her for a midnight meal. Something about food always tasting better when sharing it with someone you love. Shinobu was happy to go wherever Mitsuri asked, whenever she asked, but the late night excursions always left her drained and grumpy in the morning. It was worth it to her though. She was just amazed at how much stamina the older girl had. Shinobu was convinced Mitsuri was superhuman, pulling all nighters seemingly without consequence.

Shinobu finished putting on her shoes and quietly exited her home in the dead of night. Kanae already knew about the habit, having teased Shinobu relentlessly after catching her coming home in the wee hours of the morning. She just asked that her sister keep her phone and pepper spray on her for protection.

Shinobu walked for a couple blocks towards the nearby shops. Many were darkened at this late hour, but a few still glowed with promises of warm food. A little further down, she spotted Mitsuri waiting on the sidewalk, a young, disheveled man appeared to be talking to her. Her guard immediately went up and she picked up her pace.

“I’m jus’ sayin’ is not safe for pretty girls t’ be out alone at nigh’. Lemme keep all the baddies away, huh? I’ll walk ya t’ my place an—“

“Back off. She’s fine.” Shinobu put a protective hand over Mitsuri’s back, the other was covering the pepper spray in her pocket. Glaring up at the greatly intoxicated man.

The man laughed in her face, making Shinobu wrinkle her nose at his foul breath. The man had no idea who he was dealing with and tried to pull Mitsuri into what he thought would be a hilarious joke.

“Aw, are you lost little girl? We can drop you off at the elementary schaAAAHH!”

Shinobu didn’t bother with the pepper spray, instead she kicked him so hard that he fell into the gutter, holding himself tightly as he squeaked a string of expletives between wheezes.

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” Shinobu said, already moving Mitsuri away from the drunken imbecile.

“Did you have to be so harsh?” Mitsuri asked, interlacing her fingers with Shinobu’s and swinging the entangled limbs between them.

“Maybe, maybe not. Maybe he’ll learn that not every girl out on the street is there for his pleasure and remember to mind his own business from now on.” Shinobu grumbled.

“He was rather insistent. Thanks for helping me, my knight.” Mitsuri leaned over to place a kiss in Shinobu’s hair, making her cheeks become a little rosy. If pressed about it, she would have blamed it on the chilly night air.

“Next time wait inside the restaurant, okay?” Shinobu asked.

“But I was so excited to see you!”

“You would see me either way.” Shinobu rolled her eyes, smiling despite herself.

They walked into the western breakfast chain restaurant. The smell of syrup and bacon warmed the girls up immediately. They were quickly seated as there were hardly any other patrons who wanted a western breakfast so late at night. However, if a bar decided to close earlier, it would almost certain to get more lively in there. For now though, it was peaceful.

They were seated at a booth in front of the window and were given their menus. Mitsuri wiggled happily in her seat as she browsed through, trying to decide what she’d like to order.

“When I first texted you I was thinking pancakes but you can never go wrong with waffles!” Mitsuri grinned. “Now if I could just figure out the right combo order...”

“If you come up with any complications let me know, I’ll be happy to coordinate with your desires.” Shinobu smiled in return, as she glanced over the menu herself.

“I love you so much.” Mitsuri declared. “I desire you above all else, you sweet and amazing girl!”

“Love you too.” Shinobu bashfully replied. She still couldn’t get over how Mitsuri could say such things so freely. She didn’t seem to realize the gravity her words carried sometimes.

They figured out what they wanted and ordered. After a bit of talk about school, then family, and what they might like to that weekend, the conversation fell to a lull and Shinobu tried to hide a yawn in her sleeve.

“You’re tired, aren’t you?” Mitsuri nudged Shinobu’s foot playfully under the table, “you could have told me you wanted to stay in.”

“I’m not that tired. I’d rather spend time with you anyway,” Shinobu nudged her back.

Mitsuri covered her blushing face in her hands and Shinobu laughed. Their food arrived shortly after and soon the only sound beside the clatter of dishes in the background and quiet chatter, was Mitsuri’s enthusiastic humming as she sampled every item on her plate, as well as Shinobu’s.

“You’re reminding me of Rengoku-sensei right now,” Shinobu laughed, clearing her throat before taking a bite of her own food. “Tasty!” She declared, though more quietly and with less enthusiasm than the teacher would have. Mitsuri quickly caught on and giggled along.

“I love Rengoku-sensei, you know he’s the volleyball coach too, right? I guess spiking wasn’t the only thing I picked up from him.”

“He should think about switching to coaching track, Tomioka is such a bore. It’s a wonder he got the job in the first place.”

“You would miss Tomioka if he left, don’t deny it.”

“Only because he’s so fun to mess with.” Shinobu clarified.

“Of course.” Mitsuri nodded, a knowing smile forming around her fork as she savored another bite of Shinobu’s meal.

By the time they finished eating their meal and a shared dessert, it was nearly one in the morning and Shinobu was definitely feeling it. It was a good thing she didn’t have early practice tomorrow because she needed every minute of sleep she could possibly get before heading to school in a couple of hours.

Mitsuri noticed Shinobu’s fatigue and insisted she hop in a taxi with her to get home. An idea that Shinobu had no issue agreeing to, the sooner she got into her bed, the better.

It was a relatively short walk to Shinobu’s, so the drive was even shorter. However, almost as soon as they had buckled in and gave the taxi driver the address, Shinobu had fallen asleep and her head lolled onto Mitsuri’s shoulder as the taxi turned onto the street.

Mitsuri simpered, containing the squee she felt bubbling in her throat so as not to disturb her very cute girlfriend’s slumber until they made it to her front door.

When the driver pulled up, she quietly thanked and paid him before gently shaking Shinobu awake.

“Shinobu-chan, we’re here. Time to get up.” Mitsuri whispered, giggling when the other girl released a grumpy grunt and burrowed deeper into her side, trying to sap up all the warmth Mitsuri had to offer. Mitsuri directed her attention back to the driver waiting patiently in the front seat.

“Sorry, this might be a little tricky.” She apologized, undoing her seatbelt and Shinobu’s before opening the door.

“Yeah, sure.” The driver nodded. There were be worse things he could be dealing with on a Thursday night.

Mitsuri propped Shinobu back up against the seat and got out of the car, crouching over so she could pull Shinobu closer to the door. Once she was close enough, she hooked her arms under the sleeping girl’s back and knees, carefully lifting her out of the car with care and ease. What she appreciated most being as strong as she was, was how easy it was to pick Shinobu up. Even if Shinobu didn’t always like it.

“Thanks again.” She nodded to the driver, getting a grunt in response. She knocked the door close with the side of her foot and made her way up Shinobu’s stoop before realizing this was actually going to be a bit harder than she anticipated.

“Hey, Shinobu, do you think you could get your key out and open the door for me?” Mitsuri asked, adjusting her hold.

Slowly, Shinobu’s eyes peeled open though just a smidge. She looked reminiscent of a grouchy, sour child and it was the cutest thing Mitsuri had ever seen.

“Put me down.” Shinobu fussed, lightly slapping Mitsuri’s arm. “Just because you can pick me up, doesn’t mean you should.”

“But you are so cute and sleepy! I couldn’t just leave you in the back of the taxi anyway.” Mitsuri said in return, though she did as Shinobu asked and set her down.

Shinobu dug around in her bag, it’s strap hung over Mitsuri’s shoulder, silently cursing every time she picked up something that wasn’t the key to her front door. Finally, with a small noise of triumph she picked up the right item and unlocked the front door.

The sleepy track runner pulled Mitsuri inside with her before locking the door snuggly behind her. Then she sat down to take off her shoes, motioning for Mitsuri to do the same.

“Come on it's late, your parents would rather you be here than out by yourself.” Shinobu said.

“Thanks, Shinobu!” Mitsuri clapped softly. She was always excited to stay the night.

“Mhm, now hurry up.” Shinobu said impatiently, already stumbling to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Mitsuri kicked off her shoes and followed after her. She had already stayed over frequently enough that she had her own little pack of bathroom supplies in the cupboard. They brushed their teeth together before heading to Shinobu’s room to change into more comfortable clothes.

Mitsuri claimed one of Shinobu’s large and all encompassing hoodies and after shooting her parents a text about her whereabouts, she leapt into Shinobu’s futon with a satisfied giggle.

As grumpy and tired as Shinobu was, she couldn’t help but smile warmly at the endearing girl. She slipped into bed behind Mitsuri and wrapped her arm over her. The older girl hugged the arm to her chest sighing happily. Her back pressed snuggly into Shinobu’s front.

“Did you set up an alarm for school?” Mitsuri whispered.

“Regrettably, yes.” Shinobu sighed into the back of Mitsuri’s neck.

“Thanks for coming out with me tonight.” Mitsuri spoke up again after a few minutes.

“You’re welcome,” Shinobu mumbled, pressing a small kiss into Mitsuri’s skin.

“What do you want to do after school tomorrow?”

“Mitsuri I love you, but please, go to sleep.”

“But I’ve got another craving...” Mitsuri said, a mischievous little smile tugging at her lips as she left Shinobu shuffle in the covers to lean above her.

“What the hell, Mitsu? Why didn’t you say something before we left the restaurant?” Shinobu repined.

“Don’t worry, it’s something really easy that you can give me without even leaving this bed.” Mitsuri cryptically responded, craning her head back to bat her eyelashes at Shinobu.

Shinobu released an amused huff of air from her nose, immediately understanding what the other girl wanted. She leaned down and kissed Mitsuri’s honey sweet lips, nearly making her swoon.

“Good night.” Shinobu breathed once they broke apart, laying back down fully against the futon.

“Good night indeed.” Mitsuri murmured dreamily in return.

[rpsocsandcanonohmy]

Ten Reasons Why I Hate You

Summary: A quick rewrite of the locker room and ending scenes of season 2 episode 2: The One Who Got Away, because I thought it was a little dumb that Colton opened up about his anxiety and family issues with someone he didn’t know/like at all.

Rating: General Audiences

Pairing: Colton Davidson & Stella Walker

Tags/Warnings: Locker Rooms, Insults, Unfriendly Banter, Problem Solving, Horses

WC: 1194

@walker-bingo Square Filled: Enemies to Friends

A/Ns: This is the first chapter of a story that will be continued on AO3 here.

--------

“Why are you so angry?”

“Why do you care so much?” Colton snapped, sitting up on his bench.

Stella shrugged. "Well, we're supposed to be working on our communication skills here and I know from experience that communication is difficult when you're angry. Especially when you're angry at the person you're trying to communicate with."

"Personal experience?" Colton snorted. "Don't tell me I'm hearing a Walker actually admit to their own mistakes."

"Maybe you are." Stella finished shaking out the towel in her hands and started folding it. A tense silence settled in the locker room and she felt the need to break it. “One time, my dad and I had a huge fight that lasted weeks. We probably could’ve resolved it sooner but I was too focused on how mad I was to see it. Even when he tried to make it up to me, I didn’t let him in. It took us a long time to reconnect after that and sometimes I still feel bad about the time we lost. Like, if I hadn't been so focused on myself and my anger, things would've been solved sooner."

"....Wow. Cringey PSA much?" Colton tossed an old sock at her. "Let me guess: Coach paired me with you because you're just so well-adjusted now and I clearly need your guidance?"

Stella caught the sock and tossed it towards the dirty clothes cart. “Coach Trey paired us up because we’ve got beef between us and our families,” She stated plainly. “He’s actually pretty good at his job. If he just wanted to lock you in a room with someone who could give you guidance, he would be the one in here, not me.”

“Is that so?”

“Believe me, if anyone knows how messed up I am, it’s him.”

"Uh-huh." Colton started digging through one of the lockers. "I'm guessing since you think so highly of him you wanna actually try this whole 'find the key through self-discovery' thing?"

"Would you rather sit and be bored for the next six hours?"

“....Fair.” Colton closed the locker and moved onto the next one. “So…where do we start?”

Stella hummed softly in thought. “He said the key’s location lies in our shared history. We haven’t known each other that long though….”

“But there’s gotta be something there, right? I mean, he wouldn’t just send us on a wild goose chase…. Would he?”

She shook her head. “No. Let’s think it out. We met in the parking lot when you almost ran me over-”

“Because you ran out in the middle of the street while I was driving.”

“-and I was mad because I thought you keyed my car,” Stella finished. “And then when I went to talk to you, you started talking shit about my family like you knew all of us.”

“I know what my grandmother told me,” Colton said simply as he moved on to another locker.

“And I hope you know that it’s really weird that she knows that much about people that she’s either never met before or hasn’t seen in 20 years.” Stella started checking the lockers as well. “So, what’s our history together?” she asked, trying to get the conversation on track.

“Well,” Colton started, “you were pissed off at me because you just assumed that I was the one that keyed your car, even though you didn’t have any evidence.”

“And you were really aggressive with me because of what you thought you knew about me,” Stella continued.

"So our history is…."

".....That we didn't communicate?"

"Okay…." Colton moved onto another locker. "How does that help us, exactly?"

Stella huffed, disappointed that the revelation had gotten them nowhere. She looked around to see if there were any other clues. Her eyes caught on an interesting locker number.

"101," she said, walking over to the locker. "10-1 is military code for miscommunication," she explained.

"And you know that how?" Colton asked.

"Dad and Gramps were both in the Marines. Also they use those codes in Ranger work. It comes home sometimes."

They opened the locker, which was mostly empty aside from a book on Music Theory. They opened the book to find a key taped to the inside of the front cover. 

Home free at last.

—------

Stella was driving home alone since August got out earlier and caught a ride from Todd. It was nice, getting to drive as fast as she wanted and listen to her own music. On the drive back home, she came across Colton walking on the side of the road. She frowned and pulled over, wondering why he was walking. Didn’t he have his own truck?

“Hey,” she called. “Something wrong with your truck?”

Colton shrugged. “Mom took my keys after that meeting with the principal. I can have it back when I’ve paid her back for fixing your paint job.”

That was a fair punishment, she supposed. Still, the school was a long way from the Walker ranch and the Davidson’s property was even further out. “You want a ride?”

Colton seemed surprised. “You…want to give me a ride?”

Stella rolled her eyes and unlocked the passenger door. “Get in.”

The drive passed peacefully. It helped that Colton was content to let the radio play instead of trying to make conversation. Not that she didn’t want to talk to him or anything like that. Being locked in a small room with him proved he was a decent person but they weren’t really at the point where they could just have a random conversation in the car. But…maybe they could call a truce and get to that point one day.

When she reached the split between their properties, he got out of the car. “I should just walk the rest of the way,” he reasoned. “My grandmother isn’t exactly your biggest fan and I could use the calorie burn anyway.”

She shrugged and waved him off. She doubted her family would be thrilled to see him either. Just as they were going their separate ways, a horse stumbled out of the bushes. Stella immediately got out of the car and slowly approached it in an attempt to calm it down. She could see blood coming from it’s left back ankle and silently wondered what it was doing out here and who it belonged to.

“Is it hurt?” Colton asked behind her.

“Yeah,” she said absently. “Probably lost too.”

“....Okay…. What do we do?”

“We help,” she said simply, reaching up and gently stroking its nose. “Can you stay here and keep it calm? I’m gonna call my grandpa and see if he can get a horse trailer out here for it.”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Colton took over stroking the horse while Stella stepped away to call her grandfather. While she waited for him to pick up, she couldn’t help but watch Colton with the horse. He was gentle and kind, the complete opposite of what he was the first time they met. Maybe there was more to him than she thought. Maybe they really could be friends one day.

But that was a “maybe” to explore later. Right now, they had a horse emergency.

[demonsandmischief]

Love Times Three Pt. 1

A Marvel Two-Shot - Tony, Steve, OC

Captain America, Iron Man One-Shot, 1750 words

-Love Times Three (Part 1)-

Summary: Allie's life becomes entangled with those of the Avengers, and the power couple Steve and Tony both want her.

Note: This is an AU where everything is happy. Steve and Tony are in a relationship. Also, this will be a poly couple, mostly fluff. Please read at your own risk.

-----

"Steve, I told you to wrap your hands when you use a punching bag," Tony said when the captain had walked through the door of their home.

"I'm fine honey," Steve soothed, wrapping his arms around the smaller man. "I did wrap them at first, but the bandages kept getting in the way."

"I'm happy you're home. I missed you," Tony softly whispered. The couple only acted like this around each other. To the world, they had a tough exterior and a role to play, but together, they could finally be themselves.

"You know I always miss you, Tony," Steve said into his ear, rubbing his back in a loving manner.

Tony's cell phone ringing disrupted their moment, and the man gave an annoyed sigh before answering, "Stark."

"Tony, listen, there's been a situation," the voice of Rhodey comes through, concerning Tony who flashed a look to Steve.

"Cap's here. You're on speaker. Tell us what is going on," he said.

"Sam and I just freed a bunch of hostages for that mission I was telling you about."

The mission Rhodey was talking about was pretty simple. A terrorist group had kidnapped a coach bus travelling cross country, holding them all for ransom. That was pretty much the gist.

"I know the one," Stark said, his blue eyes meeting those of Captain's.

"Well, the place they went to, they found a girl who didn't belong and apparently has been kidnapped for a much longer time period."

"How is that an us problem?" Tony asked, dropping the attitude when Steve placed a warning hand on his shoulder.

"Nobody has claimed her. We don't know where she's from and she has not spoken one word. This one's in bad shape, guys, and we're a little unsure what to do," Rhodey said.

Steve spoke next, "Take her to the compound with you. Stark and I will be there in the morning for an update."

"Thanks, Cap," he said before ending the call.

Tony gave a huff, "You know, I really just wanted this to be an us weekend." He spun around, wrapping his arms around his man once more.

"I know," Steve bent his head to give Tony a soft kiss. "But maybe this is a bigger issue then we thought, and this girl might know something."

"Or we completely waste our time when there are plenty of things for us to do here."

"What kind of things?" Steve asked with a smirk, knowing exactly what he was referring to.

Tony stood up, pulling Steve's head down so he could reach the tall man's lips. The kiss was fiery and wet, and they both gave moans of approval.

"I'd give you more, but that was supposed to be a tomorrow thing," Tony said, trying to remain unaffected but his voice came out in pants.

"You're a damn tease, Stark," Cap said, swatting at his butt.

-----

The following morning, the pair headed out together. Tony griped the entire drive.

"Honey, after we check in and make sure everything is good here, we have the rest of the weekend together. I promise. I just can't ignore this feeling." Steve said, grabbing his man's hand and lacing their fingers.

They were greeted by Rhodey and Sam, who guided them to the room that the girl was staying in.

"We can't get her to eat, sleep, talk. Nothing," Sam said, as they looked at her through the one way glass.

She was a small girl, with long brown hair and doe-like eyes that were staring at the wall. Her shoulders were tense like she was prepping for an attack.

"Did you figure out her name?" Cap asked. Something was wrong here.

"No she hasn't said one word. Not even to Nat."

Tony shrugged, "Nat is terrifyingly intimidating though. What about Wanda?"

"We can't even bring her food. She freaks out when someone opens or closes the door. We thought she was going to pass out or have to be put on oxygen," Rhodey said.

"Let me go in," Steve said. For some reason, the pitiful girl was pulling at his heart strings.

"Cap, you're the biggest dude here."

Tony eyed him carefully, but didn't protest. Steve was soft-hearted and kind. He might actually be the perfect person for the job.

"This environment we're creating for her is obviously too similar to what she was in before. I want her to know she's not a caged animal," Steve said, clearing the way so he could open the door.

The girl noticed him immediately, pushing herself as far up against the headboard she could get, unable to move in sheer terror.

Steve was honestly at loss. How could he make himself look smaller and not scary?

He took a seat on the edge of the bed. "My name is Steve. I want to help you go home. You don't need to be afraid of me," he said as softly and sincerely as he could muster.

The girl was beautiful. She had soft features and big eyes. Her long hair accentuated the shape of her face. These thoughts were odd to the man that had only found his boyfriend attractive since he had been in the ice.

He sat there with her until she slowly calmed down. She relaxed from where she was pressed tensely against the bed.

"Can you tell me your name?" he asked, but received no response.

He asked her a few more questions, but she never said one word, she didn't even look at him.

"I won't ask anything else since you don't feel like talking," he murmured, standing to leave.

"Please," a faint, broken voice whispered, "please don't go."

"You don't want me to leave?" asked Steve.

The girl shook her head. "I don't like this room. I'm scared." The way she was acting broke his heart.

All of the rooms were the same. They were basically hospital rooms with the sterile, white look and feel.

"I can find you a new room. Let me talk to the others. I'll be right back, okay?"

She nodded once more.

Tony was the only one in the hallway watching through the glass. He had an odd look on his face.

"She's scared of the room," Steve said to him.

He took Tony's hand, walking them to some place empty, locking the door behind them.

"There's something about her, Steve," Tony whispered. "I hope you feel it too, or I am just making a fool of myself."

"No, honey," Steve comforted. He was relieved that he wasn't the only one combatting strange feelings. "I'm drawn to her and I don't know why."

"Maybe we were missing a piece of the puzzle all along," the smaller man said. They had given some thought to adding a third person to their relationship, but neither of them every felt comfortable enough to let their guard down. However, they were still two very dominant men that clashed often.

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves here. We don't know who she is yet."

Tony nodded his head, "I do love you, Steve."

"I love you with all my heart," Steve murmured, nuzzling his face in Tony's neck, leaving little kisses.

"Let's get her to stay with us. It won't be as overwhelming for her and she might open up more," Tony said.

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't want it."

They'd have to get her comfortable with Tony first, so when the captain entered the girl's room a second time, he told her all about his boyfriend.

The sound of his voice alone comforted the girl, relaxing her immensely. He was the only one that stayed when she panicked.

"Would you like to meet him?" Steve asked gently, and the girl nodded, almost eagerly.

When Tony entered, she surprisingly didn't freak out.

Tony took a seat on the edge of the bed by Steve and introduced himself.

"I'm Allie," the girl whispered, gaining two blinding smiles.

"Allie, is somebody missing you?" Tony asked very gently, a tone he rarely used.

She frowned, shaking her head no. She reached up to rub her eyes and sniffled slightly.

Steve could sense her distress and longed to comfort her. He patted the bed closest to him and opened his arms. "Come here," he said.

She obeyed, moving to curl up close to the warm man who wrapped his arms around her protectively.

"It was my dad," she whispered. "He worked for the group that kidnapped those people. He knew I would say something so he locked me up."

"He locked you up?" Tony asked with disbelief. "For how long?"

"A long time. Years," Allie hid her face in Steve's side. Tony rubbed her back.

Steve and Tony shared a look. They were pissed that someone would do such a thing to a girl that was calm and kind.

"Did they do something to you other than lock you up?" Steve asked.

Allie made a distressed cry that gave them the answer they needed. Only time would tell what she had been truly been through, and it was safe to say that the two men were beyond upset.

There was something about Allie that drew them in. She was adorable first off, but she was also strong. No ordinary person would have made it through what she did.

"Allie, you told me you didn't like this room," Steve started.

"So Steve and I were thinking you could come stay with us at our house. What do you think?" Tony finished.

"Yes please," she whispered. Allie had always been alone, but with these two men giving her attention and being so caring, it felt like she finally had someone in her corner. They both were very attractive, but more importantly, they were patient and didn't look at her like she was a ticking bomb.

"I'll tell the others the news so we can get out of here," said Steve.

----

"What were the both of you doing in there with her and why wasn't she freaking out? Did you send Wanda in?" Natasha asked immediately, where she had been observing from the window.

"No, it was just us. Her name is Allie and she's going to go home with us. Can you tell the others so they aren't looking for her?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Steve? Maybe she needs to go to the hospital instead," Nat argued.

"It's what she wants. Stark and I both agree with her," Captain said with his no argumentment tone.

Nat nodded, "I'll tell the others."

----

A/N: I'm so excited for Part 2. The story is set up so the fluff can come now. :) Please don't plagiarize or post elsewhere. I hope you enjoyed! Stay tuned!

[clairvoyantsam]

#JUSTINDESERVEDBETTER talk & 13 Reasons Why S4E10 thoughts

So ... I’ve already watched the series finale, did it right after episode 9 but it was hard for me to watch and write my thoughts simultaneously because I was ugly crying the whole freakin time. Thus, I’m posting this now. Haven’t cried this much in a LONG while. My heart is fucking broken. I’m gonna start by talking about my favorite character whom the show did SO. FUCKING. DIRTY. JUSTIN FOLEY DESERVED BETTER. (obviously, OBVIOUSLY, it was gonna be MY favorite character who gets screwed over and dies a horrible death, just my luck, why did I expect a happy ending, I don’t even know).

Justin was the most tragic figure of the show. Raised by a junkie mother who never gave a damn about him, sexually molested as a little kid by one of her many drug addict & violent boyfriends, he often went to school dirty and hungry because of the neglect. He never had a positive influence in his life. He only managed to do better with Bryce’s help (Bryce was a bastard but he did care about Justin in his own way, that’s for sure). 

After the events of S1 with Hannah’s suicide and the tapes and everything that happened with Jessica and Bryce, he left his abusive home and lived in the streets where he barely ever found food and what money he got from charity or the men who paid (and hurt him) to use his body, he gave to drugs. 

In S2, Clay and Toni, found him and saved his life, helped him get back on his feet and he tried his best to set things straight with everyone. He even saved Clay’s life who came so close to killing Bryce and even worse himself. He didn’t hesistate to face the legal consequences if it meant helping the girl he loved. And Clay eventually became his brother as his parents decided to adopt him. 

In S3, he started going to school and doing well, got a job, tried to start his life over, this time in a safe environment with a real family and friends who supported him. He was doing exceptionally well, he looked much happier, he finally felt what it’s like to be loved by a mother and father and a brother and he got some sense of normalcy in his life. He was there for Clay when things got bad, believed in him and he had his back ALWAYS. (still emo about their scenes together where they told each other “I love you” & “I’d do ANYTHING for you”), Plus, he was one of Tyler’s biggest supporters stating Tyler deserved a second chance to be better.

Come S4 ... he’s fresh out of rehab, looking better than ever. His friends welcome him when he gets back but everything is different. EVERYTHING. And everyone has changed. THE ENTIRE SEASON, NOBODY, NOT A SINGLE PERSON gave a fuck about him except for the coach and to a point his adoptive parents. He had done so much progress, he wanted to make his new family proud so bad, he was clean, he was doing great at school, he even got accepted into college!!! And what did he get in return???? NOT ONE OF HIS FRIENDS HUNG OUT WITH HIM ONCE, NOT EVEN ONCE. Every time he tried to approach someone or help THEM deal with their problems, he was turned away and even insulted. They would tell him he shouldn’t be giving advice and that he would never change who he used to be. He confessed to the coach that he felt like nobody believed in him and frankly?? NOBODY SHOWED THEY DID!!!!!!!! Jessica brushed him off all the time because she was MAD he broke up with her so he could FOCUS ON HIS HEALTH!!!!!!!!!! WHAT??????!!!!!!!!! She kept parading everywhere with Diego when she knew this was hurting him deeply. Clay was so fucking MEAN to him and I didn’t understand WHY after their great bonding their previous two seasons. Sure, he had his own problems, but there was NO reason for this, absolutely none. He was jealous of the moments Justin shared with his parents and how he was doing well at school and sports and got accepted in college. He even told in his FACE that Matt and Lainie are his parents ALONE, not Justin’s when he knew Justin’s biggest need was to feel the love and warmth of a family. Justin wanted to go to a free college so that Clay could have the money go to the BEST one and so the Jensens didn’t have to spend any on him. And I’m 100% sure he never told them how sick he was until it was too late because he didn’t want to be a burden so he decided to die quietly and slowly without upsetting them. Clay had the NERVE to pin the positive drug test on Justin when Justin was fucking CLEAN and then went on to smoke POT at that party. It broke my heart in 1000000 pieces when Justin asked him why he hated him so much. Zack wasn’t better either, basically telling Justin that he’d be a junkie his entire life and he could never change. The others mostly didn’t give a flying fuck, focused on nobody else but themselves and stayed far away from him the entire season. His mom died of OD and he didn’t tell anyone but the Jensens and Jess and he had to deal with everything all on his own again. He only had the coach to listen and there was a limit to what help he could give. So, he finally broke. He stopped caring since nobody was giving him a chance, he started using again, he lost his job, he didn’t care about anything. Jess and Clay knew he was using again and did NOTHING to help except tell him “Hey, I thought you quit! I thought you were getting better!”. Wow, BIG HELP, ASSHOLES. They all left him alone on prom night, and Clay SAW how sick he looked but he preferred to go to prom rather than stay with his brother who needed him.

Justin, with what little strength he had left, got dressed and went to the prom towards its end, he looked so beautiful in his suit, like Prince Charming. He lived one last carefree moment with the girl he loved and then he collapsed. And THAT’S when everyone said “OH, NO! Let’s go see our sick friend!”. Well done, now he IS DYING, YOU IGNORANT IDIOTS. Now that he’s at death’s door, you want to be there for him but WHERE WERE YOU WHEN HE WAS SO DESPERATELY TRYING TO LIVE?????????? Yes, it was proven that he had HIV, probably from the time he lived on the streets and without the proper care it went on to become fully AIDS and he had numerous other issues with his health as a result of that and the drugs to the point that he could no longer breathe on his own. BUT. Had he shared his problems and told the Jensens how sick he was feeling for so long, his death could have been prevented. I know someone in real life who got HIV in his 30s and he’s now in his 60s and his life is perfectly fine. He has friends, he has family (didn’t get married), he travels, he does what he wants. Justin could have been saved if someone had NOTICED. Like HANNAH could have been saved if someone, ANYONE was paying attention. Needless to say, I fucking died during his scenes in the hospital, it was so hard to watch him waste away in that hospital bed. When they took the tube out so he could say his goodbyes to Clay, Jess and his adoptive parents ... I LEGIT haven’t cried so hard in SO long ... I still have a headache from all the crying. My poor CHILD, he was scared but he told them all how much he loved them and eventually died in his sleep, holding his brother’s, Clay’s hand. The episode was meaningless after that for me. I only watched to see how everyone’s stories would end, even though I didn’t care and knew that they’d get their happy (mostly) endings. The one character who TRULY deserved the best and happiest ending, got royally fucked and buried six feet under while everyone went about their lives like nothing had happened.

I really don’t have much to comment on the rest of the story. Clay did one final extreme act by walking in the police department, saying he had a gun. Not convinved he didn’t really want to die too after Justin but perhaps his psychologist was right and he was just trying to make people notice he was hurting. I’m happy for Toni for doing what’s best for him and deciding to accept the scholarship and go to college, same goes for Tyler, he deserved to be happy and I’m glad he ended up with Estella. Relieved that Jess and Diego tested negative for HIV but disappointed they were ready to get back together so soon after Justin. Winston decided to not use what he found out about Bryce’s death against Alex and the others and that made me respect him a little bit. (Winston and Ryan btw? hehe, I kinda saw it coming ever since I saw Ryan and Courtney at the graduation-did anyone also notice Bryce and Monty in the crowd too??lol). Liked the graduation and Hannah’s little cameo (although it was archived footage) but it left me with a sour taste because Justin wasn’t there among the rest, only as a ghost in Clay’s mind. Also that Heidi girl talking to Clay, uh, SO cheesy and unnecessary. Clay reading Justin’s college essay with Justin’s ghost in their bedroom and seeing how it was all about him and Justin calling him his brother ... IT DESTROYED ME. UTTERLY AND COMLETELY. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. WHY WOULD YOU KILL THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHARACTER OF THE SHOW. THE MOST COMPLEX AND DAMAGED ONE. WHY COULDN’T HE HAVE A HAPPY ENDING LIKE THE REST OF THEM. IT’S FUCKING UNFAIR.

I’m glad the final scene was just Clay and Toni driving away, always enjoyed their friendship. Having no word exchange between them was pretty powerful because you only needed to read their expessions to feel the emotions.

All in all, a powerful season who dealt with so many important issues, well directed and full of action but disappointing for me where it mattered the most ... Right now, I don’t want to even touch another show for a long time, I need a break to recover from this, it was too much. I wish I didn’t get so attached to certain characters, but I do and it hurts me deeply when shit like that happens to them. Anyway ... Goodbye, show ... it was (mostly) good while this journey lasted ... I sure hope I see all these HUGELY talented actors and actresses in other projects in the future, especially Brandon Flynn (Justin), Dylan Minnette (Clay), Katherine Langford (Hannah) & Justin Prentice (Bryce). I also hope Brandon & Dylan get ALL the awards for their performances in S4. THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING. I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on all this, it was such an intense experience.

[marculees]

Epilepsy Awareness Month💜

I recently seen this post by @interstellix  who made great points about epilepsy for Epilepsy Awareness Month. It sums it up really well so I suggest you give it a read and reblog! Its nice to find another photosensitive here too because we’re such a small group within the epilepsy community. I deal with anxiety on top of my epilepsy and while they aren’t always related to each other, I don’t hear enough about the day-to-day worries of epileptics. Things that seem completely normal or fine to some people can be dangerous for me, which is why stuff like giving trigger warnings are much appreciated. But often, non-epileptics don’t know about what its like to actually live with epilepsy - not just having seizures. I want to add on some of my own experiences with a funky clickbait title, below the cut. Anyone who reads this all is a star and ily⭐️

10 Things Non-Epileptics Don’t Get (Yet)

1. That moment in movies when the character wakes up and a bunch of faces are gawking down at the camera uncomfortably. Always have someone to stay with the person having a seizure. But out of care for both that person and the people around, its best to get everyone else away. No one enjoys watching someone have a seizure - it’s scary and knowing you can’t stop it can ignite feelings of guilt or panic. For the person having the seizure, its embarrassing - they aren’t even conscious of what’s happening and for all they can remember, they were minding their own business and now they’re waking up and barely able to move their body without wincing in pain.

*TW: BODY FLUIDS* I’ve literally puked, shit and pissed myself all at the same time unconsciously in front of a room of people. I’m lucky these people were my family but it doesn’t make it any less embarrassing or upsetting knowing that everyone there saw me in such a state. A fear I had growing up was having a seizure in front of my class and the students making comments about it, thinking it was funny. In today’s age, filming seizures is something to worry about too because of how easily it can be shared to others online. Even if you aren’t an arsehole like that, try to be as respectful as possible and get everyone else to evacuate the room. At most, have three people to stay there: one person to stay close and time the seizure, one person to move furniture away and find something soft to lay under the epileptic’s head, and one person for crowd control who is keeping everyone else out and reassuring them all it’s okay.

Whatever you do, don’t make the epileptic feel bad for having a seizure. They can’t control it. Afterwards, comfort them and let them know its all over and you’ll stay with them until they feel better (unless they say they would rather be alone). Most of the time, the epileptic will be so tired and sore after their seizure that they’ll fall asleep. Let them; they need it. I’ve woken up on a couch, in my bed, the back of an ambulance or in a hospital bed and sometimes I was laying there for half an hour, sometimes a whole day. Knowing someone was there is relieving. Knowing everyone was there is shaming and it doesn’t make you feel any better when they’re all in your face afterwards too. Don’t be the camera crew.

2. Travelling alone is either a dream or everyday reality for a lot of people, but its a no-go for some of us. I was raised in a very overprotective household and still today, I don’t have a lot of freedom. Driving is usually one of the first bits of independence you get, but not for me. I’ve had seizures while out travelling because of the SUN. The sunlight flickering through trees, railings or bouncing off surfaces have triggered seizures in me where my family have had to pull over. The thought of being the one driving in such a scenario is terrifying to me, my loved ones and everyone else on the road. Driving is such a normalised thing for people my age that I’m embarrassed to bring up my own case unless someone specifically asks.

Then you have public transport. The sunlight issue is also here but this time, you’re with a bunch of strangers (see Point 1 again). Something my mum drilled into my head since I was younger was that if I ever got public transport by myself, then I could have a seizure and someone would film it and another person would rob me (and then you wonder why I have an anxiety disorder). I got my first bus by myself when I was 19 and for something so mundane to most people, it was like a little adventure to me. My mum didn’t approve but she complained about having to drive me everywhere too. While its fun to get the bus into town every now and then though, it becomes a bigger issue when travelling is a daily requirement and you aren’t able/allowed to drive yourself.

Free public transport doesn’t always include those with epilepsy, depending on which country you live in. What do you do when an employer asks if you can drive? What do you do if you have committments to go to and no one is around to drive or come with you? Or you need to explain why you’re going out, every single time, because someone else has to decide whether its worth the risk. Sunny roadtrips? Want to be a pilot? That last one isn’t a joke, by the way! I used to get a coach/private bus to college and if it was sunny, I’d pull the curtain over, wear my sunglasses and try to nonchalantly cover one eye to help. You can’t really get a curtain while driving your own car though and driving one-handed is not cool, its irresponsible.

3. Staying up all night talking with someone you love isn’t as romantic as we’d like it to be. All-nighters, i.e. lack of sleep, are a huge trigger for many epileptics. I wasn’t allowed to go to sleepovers with friends as a kid until I was 13, and at that sleepover I ended up having a seizure in the middle of the night after waking up to use the bathroom. Not to flex, but I had a seizure on the toilet. Where’s the weirdest place anyone else has had a seizure?. As a result of that, I was put back on medication after being told I was growing out of my seizures and had been med-free for one whole year. I’d love to stay up with a loved one and spend the night talking or watching movies, but I think a seizure would be more of a killjoy than going to bed early.

3. Unless you’re the paparazzi, camera flashes won’t give photosensitive epileptics seizures. Its a small gesture and I do appreciate it, but don’t worry - one small flash from a camera will not send my brain into override. Just don’t be taking photos from 5 different phones at the same time for more than one pic. Standing and waiting for people to take a photo all at the same time is awkward already because you don’t know who to look at, what to do with your hands, if you should change pose, smile or not, etc. Just take one flash photo and be done, or don’t use the flash at all if you don’t need to. Ring lights are a common thing now, by the way and I love them? Bye-bye camera flash!

I don’t blame anyone for having these types of concerns though. The only time you’re probably warned about flashing lights is when you’re about to watch a news report or awards show where there will be paparazzi and performances will be aired. Concerts are another thing that can be risky depending on the genre, size of the venue, whether its indoors or outdoors (if you’re like me and enjoy EDM music, you’ll have a very low chance of actually attending or watching anything live fdkslbjfdhb). Those things we avoid. But you taking a photo with a once-off flash will be okay, don’t worry. Seizures aren’t triggered by a single flash, but rather multiple flashes in a short period of time. They’re called Hertz and that shit hertz when its between 3-30 flashes per second. Also, fuck strobes, the Incredibles 2, Into The Spiderverse and any other movie that uses these for unnecessary effect.

4. Not everyone is diagnosed with epilepsy in their childhood and though some might grow out of it as they get older, not everyone will. I thought I had been growing out of it on two occasions (see point 3 again and point 9). Some people only get diagnosed with epilepsy later into their life. If you’re diagnosed while young, its easier to adjust your life because you’re growing up with it as your norm and its something you’ve just learned to live with. But for some people, they suddenly have to change their entire routine that they’ve established since they became an adult. Be sympathetic to those with epilepsy in their adult years, especially those who only got a diagnosis. Its not just a disability for children.

5. There are different types of seizures and one that’s commonly misunderstood is the partial seizure. These types of seizures have been mistaken for people being drunk or high (i.e. slurred speech, difficulty standing up or walking in a straight line, etc.), which has led them to getting kicked out of venues for something they have no control over. Swimming pools seem to be a common place for these bans, as well as gyms. Sometimes, these people are still somewhat aware they are having a seizure but cannot control them, which is really scary to think about. I don’t have them myself but I cannot imagine how frustrating they must be to not be taken seriously and instead as someone being high or intoxicated and then being punished for that. Alcohol is usually avoided as it can trigger seizures but when these seizures happen at social events, people can get the wrong idea. If you know someone who has these types of seizures, keep an eye on them if you’re out together. We’re usually only allowed one pint and hardly anyone gets that drunk after just one, so be aware that its likely they aren’t actually hammered but having a seizure instead.

6. Nobody likes being overworked but school, college, jobs and sport can very hard on us. Unless you’ve had a seizure, your teacher or boss probably won’t extend a deadline for you. The latter might even fire you. Chronic fatigue isn’t taken seriously. School is one big memory test in most countries, but for those with aura seizures, their ‘spacing out’ can affect how information they are actually taking in. Side-effects of meds can also make concentration and memory tough, and I hate how forgetful I can be because then I feel like I’m unreliable even though I push myself to give 110% anyway. Some activities like sports and physical education can be more draining than they would be for the average person, and sometimes I’d have to sit out during these activities because I felt an aura coming on after overexerting myself. I wish I could sit out having multiple assignments and group projects due in the same week, but college doesn’t work that way. I wish I could tell employers that I might not have that presentation done by the end of the day, but that wouldn’t go down too good either.

If you know someone who takes longer to complete tasks that might seem simple to you, ask yourself if you’ve ever considered they might have epilepsy or another chronic illness or disability. Don’t assume they’re lazy if they need to take an extra day or two to complete their final essay or have to stop their beep test earlier than the rest of the class. I didn’t know a good average for the beep test was 8-9, because no one ever told me. I pushed myself to 16 because I was scared people would think I was lazy and that I was dropping out to be with the other girls who agreed beforehand. I then ended up having an aura that almost slipped into a full seizure. I also almost had a seizure an hour before my religion exam in my Junior Cert at school. My mum even insisted I stay home and miss my State exam because of it. I still went though, took a bathroom break because I had another aura, and finished with an ‘A’ but had it been a different day, I might not have been so lucky. Its about knowing yourself and your limits, but we aren’t always informed that they should exist and then you end up doing stupid things like me that could hurt you. Likewise, its important to be understanding that not everyone can work at the same pace as you. It doesn’t make the quality of our work any less even if we need more time or energy to do it.

7. Side-effects aren’t always in the short-term. My own meds are advised to not be taken long-term as they weaken my bones over time. I’m 21 now and I’ve been on meds since I was 8. I wanted to reduce my dosage and eventually become med-free last year but the neurologist told me I still had brain activity and needed to stick with them. In fact, they almost ended up prescribing me more even after I had told them I was five years seizure-free. Why? See point 9. I’m lucky though because I’ve only been on one type of med. Some people can take years to find what works and their neurologists will prescribe them all sorts and leave them with awful side effects. Only last year I was chatting with a woman whose meds had caused sudden depression and fits of anger in her after she had been diagnosed and given her prescriptions. She eventually got brain surgery instead.

8. If you have a uterus and/or want to have children, do your research and a LOT of it. Birth control is usually a tough decision to make and often times, it can feel like you have no choice. Its so important to check with multiple neurologists and doctors which form of birth control is the best for you with your medication, because even the slightest new introduction to your meds box can have unpleasant side-effects. With the current medication I’m on, I can’t take the pill unless I want to increase my current dosage of meds as the pairing cancel each other and make me more vulnerable to seizures and other side-effects. I’m not pregnant and yet I have to take daily folic acid supplements because my meds cancel that out too. Every month or two, I will faint or almost faint on the first day of my period and I’m more vulnerable to having a seizure during that time. If I ever want to give birth, my children can possibly inherit my condition or be stuck taking care of me when I should be caring for them. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.

This is not to say that people with epilepsy can’t have fulfilling sex lives or raise families. But we just do it at a greater risk that even some neurologists aren’t aware of. I had to tell my neurologist last year why I didn’t want to go on the pill because HE didn’t know it interacted negatively with my meds. I’ve known women who were prescribed the pill or meds BY A PROFESSIONAL that interacted negatively with each other and gave them seizures as a result. It takes ‘find the right method for you’ to a whole new level. If your partner has epilepsy, its so important to discuss birth control and take their condition into consideration. I hear men telling their girlfriends to go on the pill so that they don’t have to use a condom, which is really selfish for a start and also disregards other forms of birth control. Do your research but let them and their own trusted neurologist decide which form is best. You should still be using a condom to protect yourselves anyway! And if you and your epileptic partner decide you would like to have children, do the same process and make sure that they are in a safe position to do so.

9. *TW: DEATH* Threatening (even ‘jokingly’) to trigger a seizure in someone is playing with that person’s life. SUDEP (Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy) affects roughly 1 in 1000 people each year. Even if that person doesn’t die after their seizure, you may have just broken a record they set for days, months or YEARS without a seizure. You just revoked their driving license and they weren’t even behind a wheel. You just prescribed them new doses of medication without any years of medical school.

Growing up, I had countless incidences where classmates would joke about making me have a seizure. If the teacher left the room for anything, the first thing they would do is run up to the lightswitch and fuck around with it. In secondary school, I stopped using the bathroom at lunch because one of the girls thought it was funny to deliberately flick the lights on and off anytime I was inside. She would snicker and call out to me while I was in the stall, asking if it could make me have a seizure. Even after saying yes, she continued to do it. If I did end up having a seizure in that bathroom, god knows what could have happened. I had a seizure in a bathroom before and was lucky I only hurt my jaw as my head slammed against the wall. Others aren’t so lucky. Injuries from seizures can be brutal, just like OP said. Yeah, you might not kill them by triggering a seizure, but what injuries do they have to deal with after?

Imagine playing a game for years and you spent ages collecting all the items, defeating every boss and proudly showing off the trophies you won. Now imagine someone suddenly pulls the cord as you’re playing; your game freezes, the screen shuts to black and when you try to frantically start it up again and see where you had remembered to last save, it says your data is corrupted and deletes everything without your permission. It doesn’t matter where or when you saved. You have to start your progress all over again. You can try memorise the strategies from before but the game switches things up and suddenly you’re hit with a difficulty spike out of nowhere. The person who joked around and pulled the plug doesn’t have to do anything. And if they wanted to, they could do the same thing again and again. Don’t be that person. Be their Player 2 and help them. If they need to go into a dungeon but they’re scared to be alone, offer to cover their back. If their health is low, find them a safe spot and let them heal. The same goes for appointments and seizures. Its not a multiplayer game by default and while they can power through solo, that doesn’t mean they don’t need help if they’re ever stuck.

10. To end on a more positive note, there are lots of successful people out who have/had epilepsy and you probably never even knew. Cameron Boyce’s passing brought attention to SUDEP and celebrities with epilepsy but did you also know about these people and their own cases and seizures?

Prince

Elton John

Lewis Carroll

Danny Glover

Lil Wayne

Neil Young

Hugo Weaving

Charles Dickens

Julius Caesar

Vincent Van Gogh

Theodore Roosevelt

Adam Horovitz

Susan Boyle

Rick Harrison (the Pawn Stars guy!)

And some who are not confirmed (due to medical practices of the time) but are suggested as a result of numerous seizures:

Leonardo da Vinci

Michelangelo

Edgar Allen Poe

Agatha Christie

Socrates

Napoleon Bonaparte

Aristotle

Alexander the Great

Epileptics are humans, normal people just like you. And like you, they’re capable of great things too. If you think about making a crude comment to someone with epilepsy, think about these people and ask yourself if you would say the same things to them. 

If you read all of this, comment with a ⭐️ and please reblog to spread awareness. Whenever we talk about epilepsy, we start and stop the conversation at seizures. Its good to bring awareness to the other things too because its something that affects every part of our lives. Its an invisible disability but that doesn’t mean we are hidden from the disability community and discussion!

[jackalopefreckles]

I feel like Ive aged at least 6 years since covid started. Im angrier. Less adapted to being outside then I used to be- which is saying a lot. This time last year I was?? Actually healthier mentally then I had ever been and looking forward to having the house alone for a month which?? Was the most freedom I wouldve ever had.

A lots fucking changed. I drove halfway across the country- all 30 hours at once with my big brother AND two elderly dogs, plus my cat. All animals on too many drugs (the vet said they couldnt overdose, and then failed to give any further instruction) cami peed on herself twice, unable to move. I had to waterboard her in Phoenix, a truly terrifying hell city where all the roads are raised and overlapping and its a hot as shit cause its?? What june?? Time was so fake this year I mustve just been stoned the whole time till I ran out of weed, and since moving its been a relief to be able to turn off the spinning anxious thoughts for a few hours

my big brother joined us. He brought a new dog with him which?? Is always a lot, plus I have this pack of dogs now cause the puppy wouldnt leave the super cancer ridden dog alone, and Im able to get her cbd regularly here, so shes always comfortable now instead of just?? Sometimes which is a lot nicer. We didnt think shed make it to chrisrmas. I thought shed die with me home alone to take care of everything, like always. It was almost a relief, I wouldn't have to coach my brother through the grieving process at least, and I had already finished. Its hard now even, for me to realize she might even have another christmas (but I wont hold my breath)

I feel safer going outside here then I did in Austin. I only went out a handful of times in texas, for the last few months I was ordering almost all groceries, and only going to the store once mask mandates were mandatory (theyre not anymore. Im so worried for texas. I missed a huge freeze by mere months. I dont think my elderly dogs wouldnt survived it. If I was alone with them, Im not sure I woudlve.

My parents took my brother to mexico with them. I begged them not to go, told them how irresponsible it was to travel across boarders. To visit an island and take all the plane germs with. I told them that even if my mom and brother were staying at home all day with me, my dad was still going to work and he didnt know what his coworkers were doing. That they wouldn't know what the people on the plane were doing. That at any point they could become the stupid americans that killed half an islands population.

They left a week after today last year. The boarders were closed the next day. Their friend has been traveling back and forth ever since. I have no idea how, except for the fact shes white and rich and wont hesitate to destroy a child, so I can only imagine how shed treat costomer service.

I will no longer allow this angry aggressive woman to ever make me feel bad, and I will allow myself to finally fight back. Im an adult, maybe not all the time (cause lets be real I'll always be a bit too eccentric for most) but when I get angry and allow myself that anger, it's not a bad thing. Anger doesn't have to make me feel like Ive done something wrong. Im usually very just in my actions, and I wont allow my parents influence to tell me all anger is misdirected and hurtful for reasons I couldnt understand. Its okay for me to be angry.

I think being alone with animals for months is at least reassuring that my childhood was unreasonable if nothing else. Which of course is a silly polite society term for pretty fucked, if nothing else.

My aunt had to gall to say weve had a good 2020 cause our family wasnt hurt, and I had to walk away from the zoom call. I haven't attempted communication with any of them since, not that I normally do. Of course none of us died, all rich old white people, most of them retired and able to stay home all day (not that all of them did, I learned about my grandfathers routine and just.. Im honestly surprised no one got it yet. Of course I knew from the beginning if anyone was gonna get it and die, it probably wouldve been me. Hence the 8 months of solitude before the move.

Was the move in August?? Im so unsure about time. Even with 2020 vision.

I tried to date when I moved here. Strictly on tinder. What was the point? On and off testosterone due to the wonders of texas, hadnt changed my body nearly as much as they should've a year after being on them. I look much more handsome now. Im also allowing myself to toss gender aside completely. He/him doesn't mean man, and they/them dont mean nonbinary, so why not mix them since Im?? Not really either.

It wasnt even a thought process like that to start. Much more "this is nice" which I think more gender should be allowed to be. Dont gotta be deep just comfortable.

I wont ever allow my parents to forget what they did. I ended up with three dogs I didnt want (I was so looking forward to not having any dogs) and I ended up taking care of my brother. Again. Its easier without my parents at least. Everything always is. My dogs are even happier. Cami finally isnt anxious 24/7. Again, a sad reminder my childhood wasn't great. Daisy is healthier. Trauma can be stored emotionally or with health issues, often both. I think the cancer dog getting better and?? Surviving and thriving so much longer then the vet said (how good was my old vet?) Is another unfortunate nail in thay proverbial coffin.

Im not as soft and openly loving. Im even more touch starved somehow. Harsher. I still want to choose love and compassion, but Im not letting myself fall into the trap of being so nice people wont be nice to you. Fighting back is something I wont feel shameful about, because it never stopped me from doing it completely anyway.

I was already reaching this on my own though. This was just more coffins, more nails. This didnt need to happen. We know our government let this happen. Its still letting it happen. Im not sure when Im getting my vaccine. My big brothers sick of quarentine and keeps trying to get us to go out. Sometimes I yield, and we go to a park, or the top floor of the parking garage. I get a vegan hotdog from nearby. We talk and laugh and were genuinely just. Boys being boys.

I shouldn't have to deal with parent shit anymore. I do though, especially since two out of three are unemployed and we can really only afford to live here cause of them (they owe me if anything though. Especially with my brother and these animals) I hope I can get a job soon. Or maybe even go back to school. Im lucky I had so much saved up (for top surgery, which I guess wont happen before Im 25 like I really tried for. I wouldve done it before now, but texas waitlists and rules kept holding me up. I literally went to an appointment in dallas, a 4 hour drive, just to found out the surgeon canceled on me for the second time)

Its incredibly depressing, and I know Im lucky to have had that stash. So many people didnt have anything and lost so much. People lost people. Half a million at this point. I remember when it got to 300,000 and I just?? Felt so awful it was so close to how many people we lost to AIDS. Its over that by so many now. It doesn't really stop, does it??

Is that catholic guilt?? Or maybe just irish guilt in general. Is it something I inherited or earned through all the end of the worlds and once in a lifetime recessions Ive been through. Im not sure how many off the top of my head, theyve been coming since I was so small and its always more and more. Im not even catholic anymore. I cant stop being irish though, even though the brits tried (and succeeded. Weve lost a lot. The current royal cotastrophy is bullshit as well, the only person who deserves a royal title is from Meniappolos

My home is decorate all inside for st patrick's day. My big brother loves it so Im going all out, and its def making me feel much more irish then usual (which is a lot Im over half)

I think I just wanted to say Im not the same. I hope I can still be happy an obnoxious is public. I wonder if I remember how

[wososage]

It’s Not a Big Deal: USWNT x Reader

Prompt: R gets into trouble at school right before camp. The team finds out and R really hates being the youngest.

Word Count: 1160

Warnings: swearing

(Y/N) POV:

As soon as I go into baggage claim I see Carli waiting for me. Of course it had to be Carli to pick me up. This wouldn’t be an issue if Jill would have just flown me in at the same time as the North Carolina girls. None of them would care about this. None of them would probably know about this. Carli takes her job as captain too seriously and somehow knew that I got suspended as soon as it happened.

“I don’t get why I couldn’t fly in with the Chicago girls,” I tell Carli when I get to her. “I hate flying by myself. And Tierna is good at distracting me. JJ would have let me play video games with her. Moe and I could have talked about macaroons the whole time. Alyssa would have let me read her extra book because the only books I remember to bring are my textbooks. But no, our wonderful coach had to make me fly in by myself knowing that I would have to fight off a panic attack the whole time.”

“Are you okay?” Carli asks pulling me into a hug.

“Yeah,” I say. “I just need to go to the hotel and take a nap before I have to deal with the crackheads.”

“First,” Carli says. “What have I told you about calling them crackheads?”

“That it is offensive and we should appreciate the youth they bring to the team,” I say rolling my eyes. “But they always have too much energy for travel days.”

Carli cuts me off with a look that tells me I am only digging my hole deeper. “When we get to the hotel you will put your stuff in your room and then you will come to my room so we can talk about how you got suspended from school.”

“It’s not a big deal,” I grumble as I walk away to get my checked luggage.

The drive to the hotel was way too short and I find myself in my room facing an angry Alyssa and Becky.

“I know I got suspended from school,” I say. “Carli has already summoned me to her room. Presumably to yell at me about making better choices. And I am probably right to assume that I will have to run suicides at practice.”

“That doesn’t mean we aren’t talking about this,” Alyssa says. “And you are going to work on your homework after dinner.”

“Whatever,” I say leaving because I would rather deal with Carli than Alyssa and Becky right now. I walk into Carli’s room and Ash is sitting there waiting for me as well. “For the love of god, can you guys calm down I got suspended, I won’t do it again.”

“Will you at least tell us why you got suspended?” Ash asks.

“I’m sure Carli knows,” I say. “She knew I got suspended before I did.”

“I actually don’t know,” Carli says. “Dawn called to tell me that you got in trouble at school so Jill is making you do extra sessions with her.”

“I don’t see why this is any of your business,” I say. “I can deal with this shit by myself. I’m not gonna get suspended again because Jill said that US Soccer will force her to leave me off of a roster.”

With that I leave the room and go for a walk. I am going to be in so much trouble later, but I don’t really care. I don’t want to talk about what happened at school. I find Tierna who happily lets me hang out in her room until the meeting before dinner.

“Just to let you know Ash sent out an amber alert for you,” She tells me.

“She is so dramatic,” I tell her. “I didn’t want to talk about school so I left.”

“Things haven’t gotten better?” she asks.

“I got suspended,” I say. “That’s pretty great. I can do my school work without having to keep myself from punching someone.”

“You didn’t punch someone did you?” Tierna asks. “That’s not why you got suspended right?”

“No,” I say. “I would show up to my morning class and then leave right after attendance because I can’t deal with the teacher. But it’s not like I stopped doing my work. My group knows where I am and I get my part done. I’m still the only one that has any clue what is going on.”

“Same teacher?”

I nod. God, I can’t wait until I don’t have him anymore.

“I hate to break it to you, but the meeting starts in five minutes.”

We make our way down to the meeting room and instantly people start asking about the suspension. I go to say something, but Tierna beats me to it.

“Leave (Y/N) alone about the suspension,” she says. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Except it is,” Pinoe says. “Getting suspended could cost (Y/N) her spot on this team.”

“Don’t you think I fucking know that?!” I snap. “Jill made it pretty clear that if it happens again she will be forced to leave me off of the next roster. I’m not gonna get suspended again because the issue is being taken care of and I won’t have to deal with anymore shit at school.”

“What do you mean you won’t have to deal with anymore shit at school?” Alex asks. “Are you getting bullied?”

“Guys it’s really not a big deal,” Tierna says. “(Y/N) took care of the issue. She could have gone about it in a different way, but that doesn’t matter now.”

“What do you know that we don’t Tierna?” Carli asks.

“I know what it is like to be the youngest on this team,” she says. “And what it is like for you guys making a bigger deal of things than necessary.”

“No offense,” I say. “But it is a lot easier to talk to Tierna about things than you guys sometimes. You guys all treat me like a little kid who can’t make their own decisions. She actually listens to everything I have to say and can give me reasonable advice because she can understand what’s going on. Most of you don’t understand because you didn’t have to deal with this in high school.”

“What are you dealing with that we don’t understand (Y/N)?” Becky asks calmly.

“Misogynistic teachers,” I say. “And it isn’t an issue anymore because if the teacher continues to act this way, then I have full permission to walk out his room.”

“What about the other students in the class does this bother them?” Christen asks, being the reasonable one as always.

“A little bit but they aren’t on a professional women’s sports team like me,” I say. “So he doesn’t have anything to target them for.”

“Do you really feel like we don’t listen to you?” Tobin asks.

“Sometimes,” I say.

“Well, we will try to do better,” Carli promises.

[dianapana]

SasuHina Month 2020- Day 4

Prompt – Coffee Preferences/The Smell of Coffee in the Morning

Long Distance- Part 2

Sasuke POV

I am chugging a glassful of water after my morning work-out when Naruto comes out of his room eyes closed and wearing only his boxers. Me and my roommates have very different ideas of ‘morning’. For me morning is 7-8 a.m. when I get up, drink my coffee and a protein shake and go to the gym for my 3 hours work out, for Naruto it’s around 10-11-12 depending on the day, he eats ramen for breakfast and his day starts only after 2 pm. Then there’s Gaara; I saw him this morning when I woke up, that’s when he got home and was going to bed so I’m not holding my breath for him to wake up before 5 pm or so.

I watch as my best friend wanders thought the kitchen, eyes still closed, and prepares himself instant ramen. If someone told me this was him sleep-waking making ramen I’d believe them. I fill another glass of water and drink that one too and leave Naruto to his own routine; I’m in need of a shower. Once showered I get dressed for work. It’s summertime so no classes or practice, even so the three of us decided to stay on campus instead of going home. Mom wasn’t happy with me when I told her I told her I’ll be spending my last summer before graduating University here. She twisted my arm until I promised to go visit them for 2 weeks around the end of August. Which happens to be next week. Since I don’t plan on working during the actual year because classes and hokey will take up all of my time, I gave my 2 weeks’ notice already. I picked a random job this summer, it doesn’t really have anything to do with my major but it’s still good money, I’m a mechanic in an auto-service. I declared my major in education only last semester; I plan on going pro with hokey but if anything were to happen, I realized that I wouldn’t mind being a coach.

I pick up my keys and wallet and make my way to the kitchen. Naruto is still eating and I’m still not sure he’s really awake. The drive to work is quite short which is one of the reasons I picked this job, that and the fact that since my 12th birthday each summer both Itachi and Dad have been throwing their car knowledge at me. I’m not particularly interested in it but it’s better than Naruto’s construction job, or his job in moving furniture, or any other odd jobs he picks up every week.  I work from 12 to 8 or 9 at night it depends on how busy the shop is; thankfully it is quite deserted today so I get the ok from the owner to go home at 7:15. I make the short drive home and am about to walk inside when my phone starts ringing. I check the caller and press answer when I notice it’s my mom. I walk in and see Garra in the kitchen eating.

“Hey sweetie, how are you?”

“Hey mom, I just got home from work; how are you?” I say and go to sit down on the sofa in the living room.

“I still don’t get why you wanted to stay behind and work. Your tuition is paid by the scholarship and for everything else you want you know me and your dad will pay.” She says and I can hear the whining undertone in her voice. I am indeed working for the money; I don’t like asking for money from them; I can’t work during the year so I try to make as much as I can now that way, I can depend on myself for a while. I’ll only ask for money if I have to. Then there’s also the freedom; at home there’s always someone asking me where I’m going what I’m doing and so on. I’ve discovered I like my freedom very much during University. During the hokey season some of that freedom is taken by the coach but it’s still more than I’ve had home.

“I know mom. But I’ll be home for two weeks in a few days.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I was talking to my friend Hikari, and she was complaining about how Hinata said she won’t be coming home at all. Neji and Hiashi are in America for the summer so they can’t drive over to see her. Hinata never learned how to drive and the road is way too long for her to take a train. Can you imagine baby?” Mom likes to give every piece of information; it doesn’t matter that I have no idea who any of these people are. I have never heard of her friend Hikari and her family “And she’s home all alone with Hanabi who is 16 and going thought her rebellion phase. My heart just breaks at that thought, sweetie; doesn’t yours?”

Mom actually makes a pause as if she’s actually expecting me to answer. “Yes, mom that sucks big time” Gaara walks into the living room and mouths ‘I’m off to work’ I nod and continue listening to mom.

“You know that Hinata doesn’t go to your University but the road from your house to hers is only about 2 hours so I told Hikari you’d swing by Hinata’s place to pick her up and you’d come home together. She was so excited baby. She’s on the phone just now talking to Hinata”

I’m stunned into silence. Mom literally tome me to make an additional 2 hours to pick up this girl and then another 2 hours to return from where she is; the only University that is quite close to us is the University of Arts and that’s 2 hours towards Suna and not Konoha. So instead of getting home in about 8 hours it would take me 12 hours. And let’s not forget I’d be stuck in the car with a stranger.

“I don’t know mom; that’s a little inconvenient and—”

“Sasuke Uchiha! What is more important your own convenience or reuniting a mother with her daughter? Plus, Hinata is cute as a button I’m sure the two of you will get along great”

I know better than to pick up a fight with my mom so I just agree; you could call me a pushover when it comes to her, I call it choosing my battles. “Fine. But I’ll need her number so I can talk to her directly and organize the trip I guess”

“Of course, baby. I’ll text you her number in a moment. Love you dear”

“I love you too” I really do but at times she can be very exhausting. Mom is so used to getting her way, both my dad and me and Itachi spoiled her for too long and now neither of us can say no to her, no matter how crazy her ideas are.

Hinata POV

I am stunned. Mom just called to tell me that she found a way for me to come home for two weeks. Apparently, the son of her friend Mikoto, friend she has never mentioned before in my life, goes to KU (Konoha University) and he will come pick me up and we’ll have a grand ol’ road trip.

Let me explain the two main issues here.

1.      I didn’t want to go home. Hell, if I wanted to, I could have taken a train on the first day of summer holiday or looked for a bus to take me home; but I didn’t.

2.      KU is 2 hours away towards Konoha, which means she inconvenienced this guy to drive 4 more hours than he should just to drag me, a complete stranger, home

The levels of guilt I’m feeling have no boundaries. I’m still thinking about how unreal this feels when my phone rings again, it’s an unknown number and under normal circumstances I would not answer but mom let me know that she gave the guy my number so we could talk about the trip home.

“Hello” I hate talking on the phone. I hate talking to stranger. I hate talking on the phone with stranger even more.

“Hey, is this Hinata?” his voice sounds defeated and exhausted too. I can only imagine the conversation his mom had with him.

I let a big sigh “Yes, it is. You my road trip partner?”

This makes him laugh a littler “Yes m’am. I’m Sasuke in case you mom, my mom’s best friend it would appear, didn’t let you know”

“I’m so sorry this got dumped on you. I feel so guilty especially since I could have found ways to go home…I just didn’t want to” I say and roll over so I’m on my back in my bed rather than on my belly. “Can’t you tell your mom the 4 extra hours are too much for you to drive?” “I tried and she pretty much tried to guilt trip me, saying that the, and I quote, ‘reunion of a mother with her daughter’ is more important than my selfishness” he sounds equal parts amused and annoyed. I don’t blame him.

“I too told my mom that I can’t possibly impose but she kept reassuring me how you found out about our situation from you mom and it was you who came up with the idea and that you would not take no for an answer. I knew it was bullshit from the get-go but mom has a way of getting whatever she wants” I confess.

“So does my mom. The more I mull over this the more I think our moms being friends is a bad idea.” The stranger aka Sasuke says followed by a lough sigh.

“You are right. Mom is bad enough on her own, I don’t even want to think what the two of them can do together”

“I wonder how they met. Did one of them put an ad in the paper. ‘Looking for a friend; guilt tripping of the universe, manipulation of everyone around, especially one’s children and the ability to get your way are the main characteristics I am looking for in a friend’”

That makes me laugh more than I want to admit. Silence falls for a few moments before Sasuke talks again.

“Anyway, regarding the drive, is it ok for you if I come pick you up at 9 in the morning or so; I want to get home at a somewhat decent hour” guilt washed over me again.

“That’s great, whatever works for you. I don’t want to inconvenience you even more. I am truly sorry Sasuke”

“It’s ok it isn’t your fault this was dropped on you just as it was on me. So I guess I’ll see you Sunday morning”

“Yes, I’ll text you my address right now so I don’t forget.”

“Ok thanks”

“Bye, see you Sunday” I say and hang up just as Ino opened the door to my room.

“Ooooo who will you be seeing on Sunday?” Ino asks and she winks and wiggles her eyebrows ate me.

“Oh, stop that, it’s a poor guy that my mom and his mom forced to swing by and drag me home for 2 weeks” I say.

“Oh no, you’re going home? Nooo, whyyy???” that is how I wanted to react too when mom told me but I couldn’t do that, no matter how meddlesome she is I never want to hurt her feelings.

“Mom insisted. And as I said she even secured me a way to go home and return” I still feel so guilty about troubling Sasuke so I make a note to cook breakfast for us or something nice like that.

Sasuke POV

Sunday morning, I arrive at Hinata’s a bit earlier than intended but I did text her when I left my home so I hope she’s ready to go. I walk to the door and knock. A girl that I assume is Hinata opens the door and to my horror she’s in her pjs. Her blonde hair is a mess and over all she does not look ready to hit the road.

“You must be Sasuke, come on in.” She says and I can’t even protest that we’re in a hurry and it’s better to just go because she’s not freaking dressed.

I walk into the small home and the smell of coffee hits me from every possible way. I’ve already had my first cup but I feel tired and the smell only makes me crave another cup.

“The kitchen is that way make yourself comfy” she says and walks to the stairs her own cup of coffee in hand. I hope to God she’s going to get dressed so we can leave as soon as possible.

I walk to where she pointed and find myself in the kitchen. On the island there is a plate filled with eggs and bacon, another with pancakes and a bowl of fruit salad. I have questions and look around confused, when a petite girl pops up from behind the island with two cups in her hand. I make a startled noise and she in turn screams. We look at each other for a few moments before she asks “Sasuke?”

I nod and she sighs in relief. “Oh, thank God I thought you were an intruder. I made breakfast so we can eat before leaving if you’re not in too much of a hurry”

She’s dressed and I see a suitcase next to one of the chairs. So, this girl is the real Hinata and she is almost ready to go, thank God. “Yea that’s cool.” I sit myself down.

“Do you want coffee?” she asks, I was hoping she would.

“Yes please. With just a bit of sugar and nothing else” I say  

“Ah you’re that kind of person I see” She says and gives me my filled cup. I watch her add maybe 5 ml of coffee in the next cup fill that with milk a lot of sugar, cinnamon and even vanilla. She puts it in the microwave for a while and finally walks around to sit herself down too.

“Ah so you’re that kind of person” I say right back. Hinata drinks from her cup but her eyes are smiling at me. I wait for her to fill her plate first before doing the same. We eat in silence; I finish first so I take her suitcase and take it to the car. I return to the door just as she walks outside.

“INO I’M LEAVING” Hinata screams, I assume Ino is the blonde girl.

“OK BABE, CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THERE” a voice screams right back.

I chuckle and we get into the car. I notice Hinata holds two to-go cups in her hands. She notices me looking at them and shrugs. “I made both of us another cup of coffee for the road” her declaration makes me thank the Lords.

“Good idea. It’s going to be a long road”

Part 1

(This story happens before part 1 so you can read them as you wish)

[themanicroom]

Buckle up friends. She’s a long one. 

Today was another rough day. Back to my previous post, my state of mind and behavior is heavily dependent on the ones around me. I was ok until I noticed that my partner’s mood changed. They weren’t in a bad mood, just not as lively as they were. 

The thoughts kicked in. Did I do something wrong? Is there a reason they’re acting like this? I worked up the courage to ask what was wrong. I was told they were tired. Ok. I can deal with that. 

Then, while I was in the middle of making dinner they went to bed. No goodnight to the kids, didn’t tell me they were going to bed. Just disappeared into our room. Now, I’m in a state of taking it personally. I feel upset, and insulted for no good reason. 

My youngest asked me to go get them for tuck ins. All I could say, was sorry baby they’re already asleep. I got the same look of disappointment from her as I do most nights. 

I try to be understanding, especially considering I myself struggle to get out of bed some days, however I’m finding more and more frequently I become irritated or resentful. 

I find myself more and more looking for that white picket fence. Mom and dad (step-dad) going to work. Putting the kids to bed together. Making dinner together, or taking turns. 

Right now I feel like I’m holding up the weight of everyone in this house. I feel like I hold the weight of everyone’s wellbeing and mental health when I can barely handle the weight of my own. I feel like if I crumbled tomorrow, this household would crumble with me. 

I feel like that thought alone is enough to make me collapse, yet I keep going. I barely make it some days. 

I find myself reflecting more and more on my past relationship with the father of my children. I do not miss them, not in that way I guess. They were what I like to call an enabler. They willingly put up with my shit because they loved me so unconditionally it hurts me to even think of it. I did so much damage to that man from being so self destructive and yet he was still there after every stunt. 

I could treat him like complete and utter garbage, and he would tell me it’s ok. It’s the illness. This is what I mean by an enabler. I was never forced to take any sort of accountability with him. 

The man I’m with now is the complete opposite. If I’m being honest, he was so good for me when we met. He forced me to take accountability. He forced me to recognize whether I had an illness or not, I am still responsible for my actions and how I treat others. 

I truly have come a long way because of him. 

But then I can’t help but wonder, did I destroy him too? He had goals. A job. Savings. He bought himself nice things. He was so picky about cleaning, and had such a high standard due to his upbringing. 

Now, I can barely get him to move from his desk. Or he’ll hide away in our room some days. We had a very toxic start to our relationship, and have had some very bad moments since then. There are trust issues on both sides, him more so than I, I believe. Don’t get me wrong, it’s beyond warranted, but I don’t know how to move past it. 

I’m trying so hard to better myself, and look after myself so I can be heathy for my family. I just don’t know how to do so when I feel like I have to coach my partner into doing it for themselves as well. How do you remedy your own wounds when you’re constantly using any healing energy on them?

The father of my children may have been an enabler, but at the end of the day he still showed an interest in his family. He was more than up for multiple trips to the park in a day. He was up for my unorganized last minute ideas that rarely ever worked out. Honestly, he was just along for the ride and he never had a complaint about it. 

We constantly had friends over to our place just to game, or hangout. Now, I haven’t had a friend in my home to hangout with my partner and I in approximately 4 years. 

I feel isolated. I feel like anytime I leave the house my partner is so stressed and anxious about it. They have never told me this is how they feel, this is just me assuming by their behaviors, and that doesn’t mean I’m right by any means. I’m constantly feeling guilty when I take too long doing groceries, or going to visit a friend. 

When they do go to bed early, or they sleep in on a day that I’m not working I drive. I get out of the house and just drive with my music. It feels so nice to just get out of the house and not have that weight and guilt. It’s truly nothing that they did to make me feel this way, it’s just... a feeling. 

I know it’s not fair of me to compare these two people. They are just two separate times in my life. Even now, I’m a completely different person compared to who I was then. I just feel like I’m going through life alone sometimes, like I’m just barely scraping by. I don’t know how to tell my partner these things. Every time I try to have a discussion about things like this, I feel guilty like I’m being demanding. Like I’m asking for more than they can give. I want to be fair, but push them towards better things like they did for me, I just can’t seem to get a grasp on how to do that. 

So instead, I hold it all in and talk to my counsellor once a month for an hour and hope that will be enough to get me to the next session. 

If anyone made it this far into my rant, and vent session I applaud you. I feel like this has needed to come out for a while, and I’m not even skimming the surface. I truly am happy in my relationship, this is just the struggle that I myself am facing with my thoughts and emotions. 

I constantly feel the need to remain strong, to remain emotionless (although that one is a bit more difficult) and remain stable in order to keep my partner happy. I just don’t know how much longer I can continue to do so.