#without suffering

[milkamel]

Guilt.

(God these two- how dare they occupy my mind 24/7)

[hey-bigday]

RAINCHECK!!!

(full thing and totally greyscale ver under the cut!)

[wtfforged]

save him

bg-less version

[bookwyrminspiration]

Nikandros is god's strongest soldier. every day he's like King, my dearest and oldest friend, can i please defend your honor. and Damen goes No I'm In Toxic Gay Love

[nenayaquisieras]

Simon has always been confused on why you gift him toys. Sure, most of the gifts you gave him were some of the things he liked. Bourbon, masks, gloves, make up for him to smudge his eyes with, some daggers and knives. Things that we're useful for him, just him. But later, you gifted him a toy airplane. He makes a comment about it, saying he is not a child anymore and you were better off giving it to Johnny instead.

"No, this is specifically for you, take it."

When he gets to him room, he walks toward his trash can, opening it with the tip of his boot. He gives one more look at the toy, his mood souring before throwing it into the trash. He goes on about his day, training, signing paper work, drills. Doing anything to ignore the pain stinging memories that the toy brought back. Emotions that were buried thousands of feet deep it could reach hell itself. Later, he lies awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, avoiding looking at the cylinder shape that's calling for him in his peripheral.

Fuck.

He pulls the covers off vigorously and stomps over to the trash can. He is standing over it like he's trying to intimidate it, as if it was an enemy he's trying to get rid of in battle. To anyone else, the scene would look comical.

He sighs to himself and reaches down to take out the toy he so cruelly threw away. He sets it on his desk and quickly walks toward his bed, facing away from his desk.

The next day, he wakes up feeling different. He swears he sees his room more vibrant, more lively. That energy follows him through out the day, having his other teammates notice his rather bright mood.

You catch him in the hallway. Pulling him aside to ask him about the paper work you left at his desk this morning. Of course, he notices the way you smile brightly, more so than usual. But he notices that you're not looking at him. More like looking at something next to him.

"What's got you so cheery?"

You turn to look up at him, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"I just..." You take a quick glance at the spot next to him, before bringing your eyes back upon his.

"I just hope you liked your gift." The same bright smile appearing on your face.

He stares at you, examining your words. Your expression.

You think you see his eyes crinkle a bit.

"Yea,"

"I liked it."

[mimikyuno]

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE WAS READY TO TELL HER!! SHE WAS FINALLY FEELING ALMOST SAFE ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO COME OUT ON HER OWN TERMS TO THE ONE WHO HAS WAITED BY HER SIDE, PATIENTLY WAITING ALL THIS TIME. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE THINKS IT’S ALL RUINED!!!!! SHE HAD A TASTE OF REAL SISTERHOOD AND FEMALE FRIENDSHIP AND BEING ONE OF THE GIRLS WITHOUT ANY “IF” AND “BUT”. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE IS OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LOVE HER ALREADY. AND SHE IS OUT TO TRANSPHOBIC ASSHOLES. SHE KNOWS THAT HER DEAREST FRIENDS WILL LOVE AND ACCEPT HER AND UNDERSTAND HER BUT SHE CANNOT TAKE THE CREEPING DOUBT THAT THEY’RE JUST BEING KIND OUT OF PITY AND ACTING LIKE NOTHING’S DIFFERENT WHEN TO MIZUKI EVERYTHING’S CHANGED!!! BECAUSE NOW THEY KNOW TOO AND SHE CANNOT TAKE THE THOUGHT OF THEM NOW NOT SEEING HER AS A “REAL GIRL”, AS HER BULLIES PUT IT. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE TORE THE DRESSES AND BROKE HER MIRROR AND BLINDFOLDED HER EYES. SHE IS THAT REPULSIVE!! WHY COULDNT SHE BE BORN A “”REAL”” GIRL!!!! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE WAS SO SCARED OF THEM FINDING OUT, ESPECIALLY ENA, AND NOW ENA FOUND OUT IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE!!! YOU DONT UNDERSTANDDDDD SHE WAS SCARED OF COMING OUT BUT ALSO IT WAS EATING AWAY AT HER AND MAKING HER DISTANCE HERSELF FROM THE REST OF NIIGO AND IT WAS ONLY THROUGH ENA’S KINDNESS AND INSISTENCE THAT SHE WAS ABLE TO NOT DISTANCE HERSELF COMPLETELY FROM THE OTHERS, BUT THAT ONLY MEANS THAT NOW IT HURTS THAT MUCH MORE TO LOSE THEM!!! AND LOSING THEM NOT EVEN BECAUSE THEY REJECTED HER BUT BECAUSE SHE REJECTED THEM BEFORE SHE COULD EVEN FACE THEM!!! YOU. DONT. UNDERSTAND. SHE IS GONE FROM THE REAL WORLD, SHE IS DEPICTED LIKE SHE IS ABOUT TO BE HANGED, BLINDFOLDED, OFFERING HER NECK, DEFEATED, AS THE LACES SHE SO CHERISHED FORM A LOOP IN THE FOREFRONT OF THE ILLUSTRATION, AS IF THEY ARE HER ROPE. SHE IS DISSOCIATED AND SUICIDAL AND IS ISOLATING HERSELF. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE WAS ALWAYS SMILING AND PUTTING ON A BRAVE FACE – ALWAYS READING THE ROOM AND HELPING ENA, KANADE, AND MAFUYU WITH THEIR STRUGGLES, BIG AND SMALL, SIMPLY BC THEY WERE HER PRECIOUS FRIENDS!! YOU DONT. UNDERSTAND. SHE WAS ALREADY SUICIDAL IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, WHEN SHE WAS REPRESSING HERSELF AND REJECTING HER TRANSNESS, SHORT HAIR AND MALE UNIFORM. NIIGO WAS THE LIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!! NIIGO WAS HER ANCHOR AND HER SAFE SPACE!! WITH NIIGO SHE COULD JUST BE “AMIA”, A GIRL, AND MAKE MUSIC AND FILL WITH LOVE AND WARMTH THOSE ENDLESS NIGHTS. SHE TRANSITIONED AFTER NIIGO GAVE HER A FEELING OF PURPOSE, “AH, LIFE IS WORTH LIVING AFTER ALL.” AND IT’S ALL GONE NOW. SHE SAW ENA’S SHOCKED FACE WHEN HER CLASSMATES OUTED HER WITH THEIR TRANSPHOBIC JOKES. IT’S ALL GONE. IN AN INSTANT. “DONT LOOK AT ME”. BUT ALSO. “DONT LEAVE ME.” GODDDDDD

[scribz-ag24]

When I say I get emotional over Special Episode 0, I mean it. Now, have an omake because I cannot be emotionally vulnerable for more than 3 images at a time

[littlefankingdom]

This is how it feels rn. I hate you DC.

Y'all may disagree, but Bruce is a fictional character. So, with the classist bs DC has been saying about Jason, we can say that any classist shit Bruce has ever said about Jaybin is more DC speaking through him than his actual character. And also, it is weird af to have a man that believes in infinite second chances and bad guys becoming good, to also believes children born from criminals will become criminals. The math isn't mathing, DC.

Anyway, 80s Bruce loved his studious adorable baby that stole his tires, and he has admitted his reasoning behind taking Jason in was "I miss having a kid around" and not actually "Jason will become a criminal if I don't intervene".

[lauraneedstochill]

if I see one more post about Aegon “bullying Aemond his entire life”, I will go fucking ballistic, I swear to g—

scratch that, I will actually go ballistic right now. this is the “Aegon doesn’t deserve such a shitty treatment” club and I’m the self-proclaimed CEO. we are about to do some analyzing and reading so BUCKLE UP.

gonna make one thing clear first — Aemond was bullied when he was a child. no one denies that, no excuses can be made for that. I’d only like to note that there wasn’t only one bully. here’s a quick reminder:

now that we successfully counted to three, let’s look over Aegon’s other horrible crimes relationship with Aemond throughout the years.

📍 the night Aemond lost his eye (S1EP7), Rhaenyra suggests he should be “sharply questioned” (she means tortured) so they can learn who told him that her sons were bastards. Viserys, in his perpetual denial, angrily asks Aemond “who spoke these lies” to which he replies that it was Aegon. it is clear that Aemond does that to deflect suspicion from their mother but his words come as a surprise to Aegon.

he’s in a tough spot — Viserys demands the answers “as their king”, not their father (to signify his authority and pressure them into telling the truth). and Alicent screamed in Aegon’s face and slapped him just a minute ago, so he may be less eager to defend her. he can easily lie and say that he overheard some maids gossiping or that he can’t remember where the rumor came from. instead, it takes Aegon about 5 seconds to back Aemond up.

📍 we didn’t get many scenes with young Aegon and Aemond in general, but here’s a short bit people keep overlooking: when Harwin and Criston start fighting, Aemond and Aegon instantly gravitate toward each other. and moreover, Aegon puts a hand over Aemond’s back (which to me is either a protective or a comforting gesture). what a horrible brother, truly.

📍 next we see them all grown up before dinner in S1EP8. I think it’s safe to assume that if Aegon has been bullying Aemond all these years, Aemond wouldn’t want to spend a second in his company. he’s seated between Helaena and Otto, both of whom are dear to him, so Aemond can stay at the table and chat with them. and YET, not only does Aemond voluntarily talks to Aegon, but their conversation seems friendly (you can barely hear it in the show so here’s the enhanced audio). Aemond makes a joke about Aegon’s drinking habits — Aegon quips back — and then, what a shocker! Aemond starts venting his frustrations to Aegon (“Even when the noose is so tight, they expect us to break bread”). nothing would’ve stopped him from venting to Otto but Aemond stays with Aegon. he wouldn’t have done that if there hadn’t been some level of trust between them. he wouldn’t have done that if he hated Aegon’s guts.

📍 at dinner, when Aegon pisses Jace off and the brunet springs to his feet, Aemond stands up too, which forces Jace to act as if nothing happened and come up with a toast. Aegon watches him with a shit-eating grin on his face. it’s the face that screams “I know you won’t dare to act up in front of my brother and my brother has my back”.

when Aemond makes a toast and calls Rhaenyra’s sons “strong”, Aegon raises a cup to that. he can sit this one out — Aemond has his personal vendetta against the boys, and it would be safer for Aegon not to meddle. but what does he do instead? when Luke gets up from the table (clearly intending to go to Aemond), Aegon instantly stands up, comes up to Luke and not just stops him but slams his face into the table right in front of Rhaenyra without thinking twice. and it doesn’t look like Aegon is just messing with him — no, it looks like he wanted to do that for a while. like Aegon finally got his chance to stand up for his brother too. AND he also stops Baela from joining the fight.

📍 S1EP9 is when we get a glimpse of Aemond’s ambitions: he deems himself better than Aegon, he thinks he deserves to be king. but once he finds Aegon and they get into a fight, it turns out that Aegon knows that Aemond is a better choice. he doesn’t want to fight him, he begs Aemond to let him go. and Aemond can do that — Criston has his back to them, so Aemond could’ve pretended that Aegon managed to break free. and even once they caught Aegon, I have no doubt that Aemond could’ve helped him escape. but it seems that, despite his displeasure, Aemond values his family the most. he can’t betray his mother’s trust, and he knows Aegon is the first in line to the throne. Aemond envies him, yes, he may even hate him because of that. but he values his family the most.

📍 as @florisbaratheons noted, during the coronation scene, when Aegon glances at his family, Aemond looks right at him and gives that tiny nod that says “I may hate this and think I am better for the job as king. But I’ve got your back.” I like that Aemond is the one who keeps eye contact in that scene. He could’ve turned away to signal his dissatisfaction with the situation, there wouldn’t have been any consequences for that. But he didn’t.

📍 what I find interesting about S1EP10 is the beginning of Aemond’s dialogue with Luke. that’s the boy Aemond wished to get back at for years and yet, he starts by saying “Did you think that you could just fly about the realm trying to steal my brother’s throne at no cost?”. Aemond could’ve skipped that part — imagine him saying smth along the lines of “Wait, Lord Strong! Don’t you think you and I have other matters to discuss?” (to which Luke answers that he doesn’t want to fight and the conversation goes on). instead, Aemond makes a point to remind Luke: my brother is the king, and I came here on his behalf. you can argue that Aemond doesn’t do it for Aegon specifically but for his family in general. but Aegon is a part of the family, and S1 Aemond has his priorities straight.

📍 as much as I hate comparing the show and the book (these are two different things and should be viewed as such), I’d like to remind you that Aegon was the only one who stood by Aemond’s side after Luke’s death. I wonder why we didn’t get that scene… I guess it’s because it would be kinda hard to call Aegon “the main bully” after he literally throws Aemond a feast. but we do get to see Aegon supporting his brother: in S2EP1 he welcomes Aemond at the small council meeting despite his mother’s protests (“Aemond is my closest blood and my best sword”). and he trusts Aemond wholeheartedly, that much is obvious.

📍 let’s get to the most controversial part — the brothel scene in S2EP3: some people believe Aegon is being a bully at that moment. those people seem to forget one little detail:

it’s been only a few days after the death of Aegon’s son whose murder was a direct result of Aemond’s ruthless actions. does Aemond ever address it? does he express his condolences? does he mayhaps help to catch the killers, being the skilled fighter that he is? the answer is NO.

I do think Aegon’s joke was cruel (I wrote a whole post about it) but that’s all it ever was — a JOKE. the humiliation comes not from the things he says but from the fact that Aemond is found in a vulnerable position and surrounded by a group of strangers while his brother laughs at him. TGC explained it best:

I also love @notbloodraven’s take on that scene:

Aegon lashing out so cruelly at Aemond seems to be an effort in making Aemond feel as badly as he does and blaming him for Jaehaerys without actually saying the words.

would this be the right way to act? no. but there’s no right way to grieve and to cope with the loss — and HIS SON WAS BEHEADED so maybe take 1% of the sympathy you show your favorite character(s) and cut Aegon some slack.

+ other things worth talking about:

📍 @bietrofastimoff23 analyzed S2EP3 beautifully and I can’t help but mention the scene that happens before Aegon goes to the brothel. it’s the moment when Larys suggests that Alicent and Aemond are plotting against Aegon. he isn’t surprised by the idea that his mother can do that — but the second his brother is mentioned, Aegon’s face falls and he shakes his head no. because there is no way Aemond would ever do that to him. and instead of asking for any proof, he asks Larys “who spreads these lies?” and then commands him to “tend to them.” Aegon can ask him to spy on Aemond, to find any dirt on him, find any weaknesses he can use — he does not.

📍 it turns out to be true — Aemond was plotting behind his brother’s back. which is treason btw (I don’t think Criston intended to keep things from Aegon — he probably believed that Aemond would let Aegon in on their plan). and Aegon does have the power to remind Aemond of his place — he can throw him off the council with a snap of his fingers, he can take offense at Aemond’s attempt to publicly humiliate him (their conversation in High Valyrian — Ewan himself calls it a “public execution”). but that’s not what happens: as TGC phrased it, Aemond’s betrayal “breaks a bit of Aegon’s heart off”. an actual bully would’ve immediately pushed back, but Aegon silently sits down and doesn’t argue, he’s so defeated he can’t utter a word. he has the means to be a bully but he doesn’t contemplate it for a second.

📍 I don’t want to talk about S2EP6 because it makes me sick but I will reiterate one thing: never ONCE Aegon made fun of Aemond’s disability or tried to cause him any physical harm. just want to point that out.

there is no moral to this story, I guess. if you managed to read till the very end, thank you. if you still hate Aegon, that’s your opinion and you are allowed to have one — but please, for the love of god, just stop making shit up. no, Aemond was NOT bullied as an adult, absolutely nothing suggests that he was. Aegon was naive to blindly trust him and it backfired on him, that’s the actual story. and if you are so eager to hold Aegon accountable for his mistakes, maybe it’s time for Aemond to take responsibility for his actions too.

+ some of my favorite critical posts about Aegon and Aemond: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x.

P.S. I will not argue with anyone so please don’t waste your time — I consider all my arguments solid and that’s enough for me. if you are thinking of sending me anon hate, pls go take a walk instead, it will do you more good. 🌿

[kelin-is-writing]

How… Do I recover from this…?

[yudol-skorbi]

manic pixie dream gunslinger

[balfeys]

How in god's name are you alive?

[drawingwithdonnie]

it sure was a finale huh

[ithinkineedasideblognow]

Starting a collection

[fellowfights]

Y'all non-disabled folk are pissing me off. Actually mouthwashing fans. Someone does not DESERVE disability and disability isn't "karma" or "justice".