#work today had some ups and downs but I am so fucking happy to report that I am nearly done with the idiot project!!

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 16

"Peace of Mind” by Boston

[hearts4youz]

"Captains Daughter" ● Chapter One ●

A/N Heyy!! welcome to the first chapter of my first fic posted on Tumblr!!! I want to thank you in advance for reading my work, please provide criticism and feedback, I would greatly appreciate it :) I want to keep this authors note short so without further ado (ew) heres chapter one!

Word count 954

You strode into the mess hall like you've done many times before. Only this time, you worked here. When you were younger your father, Captain John Price, would bring you up to the base some days. You remembered ogling at the huge Humvee's and armored tanks in the garages, and the rooms full of state of the art weaponry you would see in the video games you had on the xbox your dad had bought you for Christmas one year. Smiling at the memory, you hopped in line to get a bite to eat before your meeting, which immediately followed the allotted time for breakfast.

Steak and eggs were being served today, based on the relatively low level of complaining from the people around you, you assumed it was one of the better meals served on base. As a kid, you never ate on base when your dad would bring you. When you were really young he would go out to McDonalds to get a happy meal for you. As you got older you packed your own lunch.

After you received your meal, you found an open spot at a half filled table. Nodding at those who were already seated there, you settled in at the other end of the table, savoring what would likely be your last bit of alone time for the rest of the day.

Your first day at a new base felt almost like your first day at a new school, you thought as you wandered the corridors trying to find the meeting room your father had told you to report to. You scanned the endless doorways, looking for one labelled "Meeting room 7." Cursing as you passed another one labeled storage, you thought you would be late. Turning another corner in this Labyrinth that was supposed to become your second home, you finally found it. You twisted the handle and stepped into a room with a long wooden table, a whiteboard streaked with poorly erased marker lines, and five men seated around the table.

You were greeted with a beaming smile from your father as you stepped inside and shut the door behind you.

"Gentlemen, this is my daughter Y/N, she has been recently assigned to our unit and will begin training with us and joining us for missions today," your father beamed, proud that the young woman he raised would be joining his team.

You offered a shy wave and a smile to the rest of the room, you studied each of them as they introduced themselves.

"I'm Sergeant Kyle Garrick, but you can call me Gaz, one sporting a ball cap with the British flag imprinted on the front said. he had a light stubble on his chin and above his lip.

"Everyone calls me soap 'round here," The guy with the mohawk grinned, he appeared to be the goofiest out of the group. Next to him was a tall man, face obscured by a skull mask. He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.

"Ghost, Lieutenant," His thick Manchester accent stated. The exposed portion of his face was unreadable as he looked at you.

"Alejandro Vargas, Colonel, Mexican Special Forces," The last one to introduce himself said with a smile.

"Well, I'm excited to start working alongside you all, and i'm looking forward to getting to know you all," you responded kindly, receiving nods and murmured agreements in return.

The one who called himself soap beckoned you over and patted the seat next to him as your father started yakking about the day's tasks. He grinned as you sat down next to him.

"Price says your a sergeant," he queried.

"I am, and you?" you responded.

"twins," he laughed.

While Price droned on, you and Soap chatted about anything and everything. You half listened to your dad, not wanting to miss important information and have a huge fuck up your first day on the job.

Eventually, Soap gave you the run down on each member of the unit. You learned that him and Gaz were good friends, Alejandro leads another group called Los Vaqueros, and the real name of the scary ghost guy was Simon Riley.

"He's a man of few words at first, well actually he's always a man of few words," Soap corrected himself. "but he's a good guy when you get to know him, he's an excellent soldier too," he continued.

"I don't think he's very fond of me joining," you said.

"Naw, he'll come around eventually, he's just trying to act all tough" Soap insisted.

you hummed, tuning back into the meeting. Towards the end of it, your father mentioned assigning a training partner for you. Task Force 141 was in much more violent territory, with tougher foes. You would need extra help to catch up to the skill level of the rest of the group

"I'd like Ghost to assist Y/N in training," Price finished.

You could see Ghost's brows furrowing from the eye holes in his mask, You could see Ghosts brows furrow from the eye holes in his mask, they were a shade of light blue, almost grey. Other than that, Ghost had no comment about the order. Price dismissed the meeting.

You waited for everyone to clear out before walking up to your dad, he kissed your forehead and smiled at you "Need something kiddo?" He asked.

"Well I can't find where my bunk is for starters," you said sheepishly.

This new base was huge, in your old one everyone slept in barracks. Here, everyone gets their own room.

"Of course kid," He chuckled as you made your way out of the meeting room.

Today, you would settle in. Tomorrow, the real work begins.

[wings-of-ink]

Update!

Hey everyone, just wanted to check in with you. I hope you all doing well!

Right now, I am feeling good about getting chapter 3 out by 4/30. It's a crunch for sure, but barring any disasters in the work itself or my personal life, I feel like it is doable. My aim is to get it to a point where it is release-worthy but will still need fine tuning after the fact. I generally like to edit things a couple times at least and have it play-tested, but I won't have time for all that. But, this is a work in progress, and I can always make improvements as I go. There are also a couple segments that I did not have time to add, but they're not pivotal to the story. I will add them if I find the time before the 30th (sorry to those who wanted to make a tasty cake for someone).

So far, I have gone through chapters 1 and 2 again and made some corrections to typos and grammar. I added a white hair option with some flavor text, and some other flavor text for purple eyes. The option to have your MC's hair turn grey (streaked or fully grey) from stress/illness was added, but I did not do it in the way I needed to, so if I have time, I'm going to fix that before release. I also updated some of the variable values of certain choices. A name bank was added for anyone who might struggle to come up with a name for their MC. I made all but one of them correspond to the marks. There's a wild card in there for the adventurous, lol. The codex was also updated.

Today, I am editing chapter 3. My very gracious boss encouraged me to take the day off, and I'm feeling pretty good, so I'm using this as an opportunity to get some serious work done.

If you're curious and don't mind my rambling about my life, you can read about my ordeal below!

I am feeling much better. I had a couple rough days in the past week, but mostly brought on by medication my dentist wanted me to take to stave off possible infection in a broken tooth. I had a less-than-stellar reaction to it, and it gave me insomnia and anxiety. Simply fantastic.

But, I had the root canal yesterday (got lucky and they had a cancelation so I was able to go in 5 days early). I am happy to report it was not bad at all. In fact, it may have been the easiest dental procedure aside from cleanings that I've ever had, lol. I was in and out within half an hour, and the endodontist numbed the fuck out of my mouth. The biggest pain was the drive there and back since I live so far away.

I chilled the whole day and took a glorious 2 hour nap, and have been sore but totally good. I even watched one of my favorite comfort-animes, Natsume Yuujinchou. If you are ever feeling poorly and down in the dumps or just need to relax, it is cute, a bit funny, and lighthearted - so I highly recommend it. So, all in all, I feel recharged and more than ready to see chapter 3 with fresh eyes!

Thank you to everyone who sent me encouraging messaging about the root canal. It really truly helped me show up for that appointment without feeling completely vulnerable. I was still anxious, because that is just what my brain do - I can't even see my GP without my hands shaking, lol. But, going into it knowing what your experiences have been helped so much.

Anyway, sorry for prattling! I'm going to get back to it now! ^_^

[hx4x4enthusiast]

Cybertronians meet the bloody Mary

Words: 2090

Optimus Prime x gender-neutral reader x Ratchet

Fluff/Comfort

Notice: This is a comfort fic for people with a uterus, suffering through their menstrual cycle. Meaning blood, function and structure of the uterus will be mentioned/explained.

I use Bloody Mary a lot in this fic not cause I am ashamed of having a period but more so because I found it funny to give it a name. Also not everyone’s period goes the same way so your period experience may differ from person to person.

This was a request from @theemoteam5994, that I was more than happy to write.

It was a pretty standard Friday evening I was sitting on the couch next to Miko reading a new book, I just got. Ratchet was working on the control panels recalibrating the ground bridge, Optimus stood at his control panel writing the report of the last mission for agent Fowler meanwhile Bulkhead repaired the lob ball. Jack had work, Raphael was out of country visiting family, which led Bumblebee and Arcee to drive patrol today. Resulting in Miko and me to hanging out alone. Which was fine it was a nice to not do anything for once.

Unexpected I started to feel something damp my pants, or to be precise my underwear. Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Mentally counting the days back since the last time, it happened and concluding that it had been indeed a month now, a defeated sigh escaped my lips. Which in turn made Miko turned to me in confusion.

“Whoa you good, what’s with the defeated sigh you sound like me when we are about to write a test.”

“Miko please just shut up and let me suffer in silence and desperation.”

“Yeesh since when are you so grumpy.”

“Since the high and mighty royal majesty, the bloody Mary decided to show up.”

“Ah Dave decided to visit.”

That caused me to raise a brow at Miko, to which she gave me a smile.

“Dave? Do I want to know.”

“You know that one sound “God, fucking damnit Dave, there goes the last shit I ever gave.”

“Omg, that’s genius.”

“Yes, it’s hilarious when you’re having period pain and just scream fucking Dave.”

“Oh man, Miko you’re a genius. By the way do you have tampons or a pad? I forgot my period bag.”

“Oh, shit did you just get it?”

“Yeah, and I would like to not have to explain to gigantic alien why my pants are red and what the menstrual cycle is.”

“Haha, understandable, I really wouldn’t want to explain what’s going on down there to Bulky.”

Giggling to each other, I’m forced to double over as a sharp pain shoot through my lower abdomen, causing a hiss of pain to escape me.

“Man, is your period always like that? It looks really painful. I mean my crams hurt to, but they are at least somewhat manageable.”

“Unfortunately, yes the problem with these I have to physically double over and can’t ignore them like the others.”

“That sucks. How about you go put on a pad or tampon or both and I call June if she can bring painkillers for you..”

“Oh my god Miko you’re a saint thanks.”

“No prob. The bag is in my front pocket underneath my slash monkey cd.”

Gratefully I go over to her bag as Miko makes her way to the medbay to find June. Finding the small cotton bag I take it out, zip Mikos bag back up and move hurriedly to the washrooms. Oh my god there is nothing more uncomfortable than sitting in a puddle of your own blood.

Coming back into the main hangar I moved towards the designated “human area” as Ratchet so lovingly nicknamed it. Miko was the first to notice my return and waved, as I climbed the stairs up. She intercepted me as I reached the stairs, I wordlessly gave her the little bag back, before she bend over and started whispering.

“Hey I called June and she said she bring some Aspirins and a few heating pads.”

“God I love that women, and you, bless you.”

“Yeah try to remember that the next time I go through the ground bridge.”

“Different issue Miko.”

“Ugh, well whatever, June said she bring the supplies when she picks up Jack after his shift.”

“Why does Nurse Darby have to bring painkillers and heating pads, and would you be so kind as to tell me why you didn’t think to inform me that you are unwell.”

Simultaneous Miko and I froze up as the very distinct sarcastic and very much unamused voice of the resident medic, rang from behind us. Turning around we were confronted with a very pissed of looking Ratchet.

“Ok you look like you can handle this right well my part is done, HEY BULKY LET’S GO DUNE BASHING.”

Miko didn’t hesitate to leave me alone and run up to the railing jumping onto her guardians servo as he immediately transformed around her and proceeded to race out of the base. Sharing his charges unwillingness to become a target of Ratchets anger. Left alone under Ratchets piercing gaze, I do my best to avoid eye contact.

“So, are you inclined to tell me now why you didn’t think it necessary to come to me for medical attention.”

“Oh uhm it’s really not that big of a deal.”

“If I didn’t treat every one that said “oh, that’s not that big of a deal” this entire team would be dead by now. So unless you miraculously became doctor you com to me with any kind of medical issue. Did I make myself clear?”

“Ratchet, it’s really none of your concern, I am fine.”

Quiet. It was deadly quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. Ah shit, I fucked up, I fucked up big time. I did the one thing you don’t do, ever. I broke the one rule on the base, crossed the one line even Optimus doesn’t cross. Don’t backtalk Ratchet when it’s about medical decision. Well it was a good life.

“Oh it’s none of my concern is it? My how interesting would you care to elaborate on why that is?”

“I...I I am sorry Ratchet, I didn’t mean it like th-ughnn.”

A sharp pain went trough my lower abdomen forcing me to hug myself as I doubled over. As the pain subsided and I was able to stand upright again, a green light beam went over my body. Looking up I was met with the sight of a very concerned Ratchet and an equally worried Optimus. When did he come over here, weird? I was ripped out of my train of thoughts as a sharp exhale escaped Ratchets vents.

“YOU ARE LOSING BLOOD AS WELL AS PART OF YOUR INNER LINING IS DETIRIOURATING AND YOU RUN AROUND HERE ACTING LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE.”

“Because it is?”

Apparently, that was not the right or more like best thing to say. I could already see the oncoming triage, Ratchet was going to put me through. Just as he prepared to chew me out and preach his speech on taking proper care of oneself, a big servo landed on his shoulder plate. Optimus gently pulled Ratchet back before coming closer, bending down to my level.

“We are worried about you. Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed about.”

“Hmpf, especially if you lose essential organic fluids.”

“Ah, shit that’s not it’s, aww geez uh scrap how do I explain it.”

“While we both would appreciate an explanation, please don’t feel cornered or forced to please us. Though I do have to ask you to use a different manner of speech.”

“Huh, oh yeah sorry about that big guy. Just give me a minute”

Seeing Optimus giving a nod and even Ratchet, though begrudgingly, give me some space, I take a deep breath. Ok first me being a nervous wreck is not going to help anyone. So deep breaths, everything is fine. It’s not like you are going to have to explain how and what the menstrual cycle is, to gigantic aliens. Man, I sometimes hate my life so much. Letting out a deep sigh I turn around I make my way to the two bots.

“Ok, so first of all, I am ok, I will not bleed out or am sick with a terminal disease. What’s happening to me is a natural process that happens every month for more or less than a week depending on the person. Every person with a uterus goes through this with some exceptions. Yes, that includes June and Miko as well.”

Optimus and Ratchets frames slightly relax, tough confusion is still visible on their faceplates. Well, more on Ratchets than Optimus, though the leader frame is less rigid than before.

“But you are bleeding, isn’t the leaking of blood indication of an injury, do you mean it is natural for humans to injure their uterus every month?”

“What no we aren’t injured.”

“Perhaps it would help us understand better, if you were to explain on how this “menstrual cycle works.”

“OH, uhm sure. First of all the uterus is one of the reproductive organ’s humans have to reproduce. Each month, blood and tissue build up in the uterus to prepare for a fertilized egg in case a woman becomes pregnant. Important humans give live birth to their young not like other animals in eggs. Eggs is simply what we call the cell. If the egg isn't fertilized, that lining leaves the body through the vagina and that is what is called the period.”

Trough the explanation my eyes had driven away from the bots not wanting to see their faces of disgust.

“But then what is the menstrual cylcle? And that still doesn’t understand why you were in pain.”

Confused I look back up at Ratchet as he looked at me expectantly. Switching my point of view to Optimus he carries a similar expression though way more subtle than Ratchets.

“You, you aren’t disgusted?”

“Why would we I mean, its obvious a bit strange due to our different biologys. But so is your entire race.”

“As you explained, your period is a natural occurrence, there is no fault in that.”

“Oh ok.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah there are a lot of names for the period, like menstrual cycle, strawberry week.”

“I thank you for the explanation but there is still concern on your earlier episode of pain.”

“Oh yeah uhm, so basically to flush everything out, the uterus contracts itself which can lead to pain. How much pain someone experience is different for everyone. And well mine is sometimes so bad I double over.”

Both bots fall into back into silence, exchanging glances like they were silently communicating. Feeling slightly Causing me to shuffle my feet on the ground. Until Ratchets open servo comes up to me, an invitation to step into it. Confused I look at both Ratchet and Optimus. Sensing my confusion Ratchet responds.

“It is unreasonable to let someone alone when they are in pain, so get on.”

“What, no I am fine, I have dealt with this for the past 6 years on my own.”

“You should be resting.”

“No, I still have things to do I don’t need to rest.”

“Please do understand that we are just worried.”

Damn you Optimus, for making me feel bad about refusing help. Reluctantly I carefully climb onto Ratchets servo. Letting out a satisfied hum, he lifts me up to his chest, curling his digits gently around me. Carefully moving across the base, we go through a corridor I haven’t been in yet, only to land in front of a humongous door trough which Ratchet and Optimus can walk without any problems. Ratchet crosses the room and gently lays me down on the gigantic bed. Before turning around and walking around the bed to the other side before laying down himself.

Meanwhile, Optimus was closing a drawer, holding something I couldn’t make out and moved to join us. He deposited the content of his servo onto the berth near Ratchet. Before I could ask what and why they brought those things, my feet yet again left the ground.

Warmth surrounded me and weirdly a lot of red. Wiggling around I finally found the end of the blanket and looked up, only to be met, with two pairs of kind optics looking down at me.

“What’s all that?”

“We researched that warmth and comfort in the form of affection, food and a comforting environment prove, helpful when dealing with period pains.”

“Wait, you guys searched the internet to help me? Aww that’s so sweet.”

“Hmpf, well we can’t leave you alone in this time of you err, month.”

A smile starts forming, I snuggle back into the blankets happy about being so well cared for. My eyes are starting to feel heavy as a yawn escapes me, exhausted from the day’s events, I don’t fight the sleepiness taking over my body. Safe, warm, and protected by the two gentle guardians on each side of me.

[loudblonde]

Could I request anyone in the 141 with a non military/detective s/o who just finished a dangerous case. and like how they react to it idk 💀

thanks 👍💪

In honour of Sherlock Holmes becoming public domain, you dear Anon will get more than just one of the boys with a detective s/o. Male!Reader is vaguely if not outrightly stated to be a Holmes much like Sherlock Holmes, he is not BBC Sherlock.

Warnings: mentions of child porn, human trafficking, and torture. Canon typical violence.

Hurt/comfort and some fluff

All stories are under 500 words long, so they might just be drabbles.

Male reader,

~ Captain John Price ~

John Price was sitting in his office with the small radio turned on low, just filling out paperwork from work from his most recent mission with the team. It had been a success but he still had a ton of paperwork. John never quite paid much attention to the radio until a familiar name came up, (Y/N) Price. 

John abandoned all thoughts of paperwork as he turned the radio on. 

“-great news to announce that Detective (Y/N) Price has once again done the impossible after disappearing off the radar for two weeks, (Y/N) located and personally gathered information on a human trafficking ring, allegedly going undercover despite being a very well known man.” One of the hosts said. 

Price sucked in a deep breath and listened carefully, his mind filled with static as gore filled images of his husband getting brutally tortured and killed because he was discovered crossed his mind, Price knew the reality would be that, he knew that (Y/N) wouldn’t have made it out alive had it not been for his husbands sheer dumb fucking luck. 

“I know right, Kelley,” The other host said. “From what we know, Detective Price is a married man, he wears a gold wedding band, I sure wouldn’t wish to be married to someone who just disappears all of the sudden for weeks on end!” The hosts laughed together and John looked down in his hands.

They both had a tendency to disappear for work, rarely ever saw each other but when they did, between missions and cases, especially with (Y/N)’s freelance work, much like his older brother. 

Price reached over and grabbed his phone, dialing his husband's number. He placed the phone to his ear and listened as it dialed 3 times before it was picked up. “Hmmm, John it’s 3 in the night here.” His husband's groggy voice came through. 

Price smiled a bit as he turned the radio off. “I heard the news about your latest case.” 

(Y/N) chuckled, voice sounding rasped. “I wasn’t alone, despite what they say, my brother was with me and not Sher.” 

“Ah, so the oldest Holmes made it out of his fancy office to help, that is at least somewhat comforting.” He said. 

(Y/N) hummed for a moment. “It was scary, I won’t lie to you, I knew this kind of work was gonna take a lot but wow… I can’t imagine your mission being easy either.” 

“Hmm, no my mission wasn’t easy but we all made it through, minimal injuries and we recovered the intel.” Price said. “I have some saved up vacation time, why don’t we take a break, the both of us and go somewhere just the two of us?” 

(Y/N) smiled. “I would like that, just the two of us, it would be nice… I love you John, you know that, right?” 

John touched his necklace where the ring was. “I love you too, with all my heart.” 

< Simon “Ghost” Riley > 

Simon was sitting with the team watching some telly when the news came on, the picture of his husband looking stoic as ever came on as the reporter smiled. “Today the Brother Holmes were successful in taking down a child porno ring that extended as far into minor positions of our government. The brothers went undercover while posing as people who could give access to child porn, they worked closely with Scotland Yard in catching over 150 pedofiles in the UK alone. It has been reported that both their lives were at risk during it and that (Y/N) Holmes was almost killed several times during this investigation, though I am happy to tell you that any hospitalisation lasted less than 24 hours and that the young detective is not in any danger.” The reporter finished and ads started playing. 

Simon sat, staring blank at the screen, (Y/N) had mentioned a case that had been dangerous but he was never told his life had been in danger. Logically he knew that (Y/N) was a capable man who could not only keep up with his brothers and their crazy shit, but also knew his way around several fighting styles and weapons, Simon logically knew all that and still hearing his husband, one of few people who knew Simon’s face, who Simon trusted with all his life, had been in danger and almost killed… it made his blood boil. 

Simon stood up, spooking Soap who cursed after him, But Simon didn’t care, he couldn’t care, he was just making a beeline for his room and as soon as he got there he took out his phone and called one of few numbers even saved in it. Their house phone, a secure line.

“Holmes Residency, (Y/N) speaking.” A pained voice came out. 

“Are you okay?” Simon asked before anything else. 

“Ahhh, Simon, yes, just a few bruised ribs.” (Y/N) said and Simon could hear his smile. 

“He was also poisoned.” Came Mycroft ever so helpful. 

“And stabbed, twice, I have him on bedrest.” A much clearer Doctor Watson said. “Well, as much as you can keep a Holmes on bedrest.” 

Simon took a deep breath. “(Y/N)... you are single handedly going to make me go grey before Price.” He knew his comment would make (Y/N) chuckle. 

“I am fine Si and I love you too.” (Y/N) said as he chuckled. “I love you more than I could ever express to you…. I love you more then (favourite food/movie).” 

Simon smiled a bit. “I love you too… but be careful, I don’t want you getting killed… I can’t lose anymore people.” 

(Y/N)’s smile softened a bit. “Don’t worry Si, I won’t take a case until I am healed. Apparently there is a high reward for people who help out with catching criminals, who would have thought?” 

) John “Soap” McTavish (

John was sitting in the police room as (Y/N) finished up whatever he was doing. The mission had been too close to his own line of work for comfort. Laswell had gotten the 141 to bring out (Y/N) Holmes from a person who had kidnapped him. His own husband had been kidnapped and he didn’t even know. 

Sometimes John hated their line of work, it was cruel and left little contact with loved ones. 

“Relax Johnny.” Ghost said from beside him. Both still in full gear. “Nothing is gonna happen while we sit here.” 

John looked at Ghost and cracked a small smile. “Yeah I know, it’s just two weeks in a long time.” 

Ghost looked at him and slowly blinked. “Yes it is, but he is a Holmes, I thought that was a given or they were trained for that.” 

John shook his head. “No, no they aren’t, they are just civilians who everyone thinks are-” John stopped talking as (Y/N) stepped out of the room, looking worse for wear, but with a big smile on his face. 

John instantly stood and walked over, hugging (Y/N) close and a tad too tight. 

“John, my ribs.” (Y/N) groaned as he hugged back. 

“Oh right sorry.” John pulled away and took (Y/N)’s face in his hands. “Don’t ever do something like that again!” He said loudly. “I was worried sick when I heard you had been missing for 2 weeks!”

(Y/N)’s eyes softened. “I didn’t mean to get caught, but Sherlock managed to get away and get to safety, he ensured that I was kept alive.” 

John rested his forehead against (Y/N)’s. “Remind me to thank him when we see him.” John chuckled a bit, just happy to have his husband back in his arms. 

“Hmm, you can thank him at the wedding in 7 months. Him and Watson are finally tying the knot, I won the bet between everyone by the way.” (Y/N) said, smirking a bit. 

“I love you so much,” John said. 

[ Kyle “Gaz” Garrick ]

Kyle was just standing and talking with Soap as he saw his long time boyfriend (Y/N) walk up with a newspaper in hand. Kyle tilted his head slightly and stopped talking, causing Soap to turn and look at (Y/N). “Hey, why is a Holmes walking directly towards us? Is he even allowed on base?” Soap asked. 

Kyle shrugged. “He should be. Hey (Y/N)!” He called out as (Y/N) got closer. 

“Kyle!” (Y/N) said happily as he practically bounced over. “May I?” 

Kyle nodded and they hugged close. Kyle missed (Y/N) whenever he went away but he couldn’t exactly stop (Y/N) from taking on case after case, they paid far too well. 

(Y/N) showed Kyle the newspaper from that morning. “I just finished a case for the king of Sweden, didn't even know it was the Swedish king, he is very… eccentric but normal. He is just a person, it was nice.” 

“Soooo.” A certain Scottish man broke through their conversation. “How do you two know each other?” 

“(Y/N) meet Soap, Soap, this is my boyfriend, (Y/N) Holmes.” Kyle said. 

(Y/N) smiled brightly and shook Soap's hand. “I have heard a lot about you lot and the 141.” 

“Only good things I hope.” Soap said. 

“The best of things. Oh and Kyle, no reason to worry, a doctor that wasn’t my brother's close friend cleared me. I am not injured even though you will undoubtedly hear about a very large fall I had in tonight's news. I just wanted to tell you that before you hear it from someone that isn’t me.” He said. 

Kyle’s eyes widened. “(Y/N) you promised to be careful.” 

“I was… ish… okay maybe not as much as I should, but I was safe during the whole thing, no large injury or bed rest needed.” 

“No case for at least 3 days, please.” Kyle said. 

“... Okay, no case for a week. I love you, alright? I am always going to return home to you.” 

Kyle smiled at that. “Good. I love you too.”

[wisteria-cherry]

forty days and forty nights (day eleven!)

(double header)

(read them all here!)

you were tired.

last night was one of those nights where you couldn’t sleep, no matter how tired you were. you ended up staying on your phone quite a bit before finally deciding to take a melatonin gummy at 3am. bad move. you’d been tired all day. usually you’d perk up at least a little when bakugo came in, excited to see your friend again, but alas, his presence had minimal effect.

“you look dead.” bakugo stated bluntly as you rung up his coffee.

“mm.” you didn’t bother with words. he studied your expression closely.

“add another coffee.”

“hm..?” you look up, not quite registering what he’d said. bakugo tched and looked away.

“i said add another damn coffee to my bill.”

“ok, what kind?” you ask in a somewhat monotonous voice that would be sure to earn you a scolding if your boss were here.

“whatever you normally get, i don’t fuckin’ know.” it took you a second to realize that he was buying you a coffee, but when you did, you immediately protested.

“oh, no, i can’t let you do that.” you say quickly, waking up instantly.

“why not? ‘s’it against the rules or some shit?” bakugo retorted, knowing damn well that it wasn’t.

“no, but..”

“so ring up the damn coffee.”

“i’m fine, i don’t need coffee.”

“you look tired as hell. if you’re not gonna accept the coffee ‘cuz it’s comin’ from me, accept it ‘cuz you give shitty customer service when you’re tired.”

“i do not..!”

“the only things you said before i asked for another damn coffee were just mumbling.”

“you mumble too.”

“i’m the fucking customer, i can do that if i wanna.” bakugo scowled. “just take the goddamn coffee!”

“fine.” you agree finally and reluctantly. “but just a small.”

“good.” bakugo huffed, satisfied. “how much? you (again, very reluctantly) rung him up and he paid for it via cash.

“i’m paying you back,” you warned.

“like hell.” bakugo tched.

“i am.” you insist.

“good luck.” was his reply, complete with an amused snort. he sat down as you gave him his coffee and began to make your own.

“…the hell did you do to get so tired?” bakugo asked after a few minutes of silence.

“i couldn’t sleep last night,” you admit, opting to leave out the melatonin aspect of it, lest he make fun of you.

“that’s stupid.” you couldn’t tell whether he meant it as a sympathetic agreement or he was just straight up telling you that you were stupid for not being able to go to sleep. knowing him, it could be either one, so you simply agreed with him.

“yeah. so how was work today?” you ask instead. he rolls his eyes.

“you’re not gonna fuckin’ believe it.” he grumbled.

“sidekicks still not meeting your atrociously high standards?” you raise an eyebrow.

“it’s not atrocious, it’s common fucking sense! you beat the villain’s ass and you do the report. it’s not that fuckin’ hard.” bakugo frowned deeply, thoroughly annoyed.

“is it really that simple?” you ask curiously. surely it’s more complicated.

“yeah, well, there’s more to it, but that’s the basic premise.” bakugo looked away, glaring at nothing in particular.

“i’m sure.” you take a sip of your coffee. it definitely hit the spot, and, despite your annoyance at bakugo buying you coffee even though you said no, you were happy he did it.

“thanks for the coffee.”

“whatever. just don’t expect shit like this every day or something.” bakugo replied, frown deepening, before adding for good measure, “dumbass.”

“if i’m a dumbass, what does that make you?” you ask amusedly.

“the best.” bakugo answered firmly. “i’m the number one hero.” you were too tired to argue, so you nod with that faux interest that people usually show towards little kids when said kids are rambling and the people either aren’t paying attention or don’t understand.

“quit givin’ me that look.” he snapped.

“okay, bakugo.”

“and quit sounding so damn smug!”

“okay, bakugo.”

“stop saying that!”

“…okay, baku-“

“i’ll kill you.”

“what am i supposed to say to that?” you ask, taking another sip of your coffee. it was amazing.

“nothing, that’s the point.” bakugo responded. “shut up and drink the damn coffee.”

“you first.”

“getting sassy, huh?” bakugo narrowed his eyes, resting his arms on the counter and leaning forward. “don’t fuck with me, y’hear?”

“loud and clear, sergeant.”

“it’s not atrocious, it’s common fucking sense!”

<- previous next->

@k0z3me @cherryblossomclarity

[breadvidence]

Some of you have expressed interest in the Dammit lore, so for that audience of 3-4:

Thinking today about striving for verisimilitude and laziness, and whether readers can tell where Dammit is dipping into one pot or the other (as a writer, one of my great tips is laziness: if you do not want to do the work, don't [if it is work you feel you need to and you do not like to do it, that is different than not wanting to do it]). I went from vexing myself over available fabric dyes, debating anachronistic use of Old Irish in place of Primitive Irish, & feeling bitchy about reading the Ulster Cycle, to hourly weather reports, Google street view, fashion blogs. Dizzying change!

My partner has on two occasions mockingly replied, when I've complained about a historical detail of the 2010s, "Heaven forbid the fiction contain fiction."

And, OK, some of it is me being neurotic, but I am perfectly aware that accurate hourly weather does nothing for verisimilitude: a big storm that left a trace on regional (or even national) memory, yes, that's a miss if you skip it—you don't write 2021 Texas winter and not send Cruz to Cancún—but the fog on December 17th, 2014? Naw. What it does do is let me be incredibly fucking lazy—as a writer I like weather, I like how temp and rain and visibility and barometer pressure confine the character into a world and body, but I do not like deciding on it, so I am perfectly happy to kick back and let the actual sky come up (or down, as it were) with the scenery. (Also, whether or not anybody's playing along with me, it's kinda a bit now.)

Then there's the places where checking against fact has sparked a bonus—I knew I wanted Valjean to take Cosette to a big female pop star concert in 2006 as a response to Fauchelevent's death and went with Madonna (why not Britney Spears or Beyoncé or Kelly Clarkson? we don't get Cosette's insight, here, but she saw Madonna as shared—Valjean would've listened to her work back in the '80s, and Cosette is aware of that—though there was presumably an agonizing non-conversation about the naughtier tracks as a result), and when I idly looked at tour dates, realized Las Vegas was a venue option—like, um, of course I want to send Jean Valjean from Victor Hugo's hit 1862 novel Les Misérables to modern Sin City, c'mon.

Anyway, and related to my previous post, color me delighted that the Dallas Museum of Art had the work of Sadamasa Motonaga on display in 2015, which gave me an in to depict Javert being a very Kinsey 6 in his social analysis of dicks, and also—listen, it's not all my fault this chapter is so cock-forward, the DMA and history made that decision for me, right?

I don't anticipate my original work will ever move to a contemporary timeframe, so I'm enjoying this aspect of writing Dammit as it lasts. Which—looks like it'll be a while, given if I don't abandon the fic at the end of the second arc (possible—it's a perfectly reasonable spot to end the story) we're not even 2/3rds of the way to the end of this adventure.

[mrs-monaghan]

i know you aren’t a hater and you’ll probably not post it but I wish you will so I can feel seen because I am bursting with so many emotions and no one in my real life would get it. if it’s true that tae is dating that girl, i’mma let hate paralyse my mind. I swear there’s no coming back from this. I mean y’all telling me jimin being hated, slut shamed, defamed, threatened and sabotaged was all for nothing. I’m trying hard to ignore both jk and tae in this mess but y’all are telling they sat there and let your so called friend be dragged for years. There’s no way bighit don’t know about this.

This isn’t even about jikook because deep down I know it’s jimin over anyone else. I will cry for real so I’m hoping it’s not true. After all the mess jimin has gone through, the least taekook should have done is to at least kiss so as to justify all these hate. I know this is a jikook blog but I follow you because I’m curious about him and I am ready to support him in anything. But truly I am sad. I always thought if any of vminkook announce their relationship I will be relieved because jm will be free but today I realize that it’s the opposite. I am angry, I am sad and I feel so hurt on behalf of jimin. All those dc inside, YouTube hate video, death threats, report for jm. I’m going to sort out my feelings for taekook because deep down I don’t hate them… never😭😭

Anon. It's hard to be a PJM in 2023 so I understand. Trust me, I get it. I love this man an unhealthy amount. I see why you're getting affected by the Jimin hate. But here is the thing that I need u to think about before you take the anti route.

Here are the most recent Vmin hugs we have.

This was not part of the choreo

I mean look at Jimin's face

And the very most recent ot7 content. Again look at this hug. Look at V's face.

What I'm I saying? I think these motherfuckers love each other. That's what I think. I think V loves Jimin and Jimin loves V. Do I think they are as close as they used to be? No. But do they still love eo? Absolutely.

3 things 1) An anon made a point that I've been thinking about. The Tannies probably don't see what happens on I-twitter. They probably have their twitter curated and only shows what Karmy are saying. And Karmy are not the ones hating on Jimin. So for all we know V might be missing all this fuckery. I really don't see him seeing the pigmin and bangmin stuff and him being okay with that.

2) Jimin is no push over. Never has been. If V was being a dick to him or if Jimin had issues with V, he would have cut him out of his life. I honestly believe that.

3) Jeon Jungkook would never in a million years hurt Jimin on purpose or let someone else hurt Jimin. Ever. Like that's a thing that will never fucking happen. It doesn't matter who it is. This man defends Jimin even when his man doesn't need defending. Jimin can handle himself but when JK sees some fuckery going on he steps up. So aint no way he would be hanging out with V if the dude was being malicious.

I let u guys vent here and I hear and understand where you're coming from but my stand has always remained the same. As long as Jimin and Jungkook continue to love V, so will I. Clearly there is alot we don't know.

From the outside looking in, it looks bad but I really do think they're fine. If Jimin had an issue with what V was doing, not only would he shut it down, but so would JK.

I'll give you an example. JK came live and V told him to go to insta. A very awkward live happened but that's neither here nor there. What also happened was that live made noise even in the Karmy side. So this is what happened.

Tkk live ---- Jimin comes live for the shortest live he had ever done at that time. And he was busy. But for some reason he still stopped by. It seemed like it could have waited till he finished work---- V shares a Jikook photo for Jhope's birthday.

I think these 3 things are related. I think someone wasn't happy about the tkk live and that was V making it up to him.

I, think if Jimin has an issue he lets it known and handles it.

Jimin is not weak, anon. Jimin is quite strong. Stronger than people give him credit for. I guarantee if V was an issue he would have handled him by now. For all we know the dumpling incident got physical and u know Jimin won that fight.

So, its important to pause. Breathe. Its okay. Everything is okay. I'm about to say something extremely blunt now. Anon, it helps no one when u get affected mentally by Jimin hate. He doesn't know u and he will never hear about it if something happens to you. He and his millions will be perfectly fine. You gotta look after yourself first. Alright?

Love Shazy,

[builtbybrokenbells]

Spitfire | vi

Rumours spread around the internet, causing turmoil like never before. In a desperate attempt to forget,y/n takes solace in the bar, making it a mission to forget him completely. Jake is left wondering if he’ll ever get a chance to explain himself. When her roommates try to do damage control, they’re left wondering if the Twitter feed and speculation is really the biggest issue, or her way of covering up her crippling fear of falling in love.

Read part five here

Read part seven here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader

Word count: 7.5k

Warnings: cheating/cheating rumours, Twitter, binge drinking, unhealthy coping mechanisms, lots of angst, crying, like a 2 second mention of throwing up (very short because i hate throwing up with a violent passion), basically this whole chapter is an angsty shitshow because I live for drama, sorry if I missed any!

so obvi i had to throw in some heartbreak to offset all the fluffy happiness, cause that’s just who i am. lots of projection in this one (hey, at least I’m owning up to my flaws) but this is just an angsty mess before we get to a happy ending cause I wanted to showcase how detrimental the internet/social media can be and how bad ldr sucks 😁 as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻 (also thank you all so much for the love on this series. im having a lot of fun writing it and it overjoys me to see that other people like it, too)

~

Your feet carried you to the living room, speed faster than you’d ever ran before. When you turned the corner of the hallway, your footing slipped and you had to brace yourself on the wall. Eve was sprawled on the couch. She looked to you, eyes wide with panic, scared that something bad happened. “What has got you all riled up?” She threw her phone beside her, sitting upright.

“I-I, uh, I just…” you were breathless, heart pounding in your chest as you tried to formulate your words. “The… t-the-“

“Just fucking spit it out!” She laughed, clearly understanding that your rapid approach was due to good news rather than bad.

“Okay, sorry.” You ran your hand through your hair, pushing it away from your face. “I think I’m gonna throw up.” You laughed, fanning your face with your hands. Tears were threatening to spill over, and your skin was prickling with excitement. “So I started my internship on Monday, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” She said, waiting for an explanation.

“And I met everyone in the ‘office’.” You air-quoted office, knowing you’d only interact with them over zoom meetings for the four month duration. “But I met the head of the department today, the big boss.” She gave an eager nod. “He told me that he read over my research report. He said it was one of the best he’s ever read.”

“No way!” Eve was standing now, bouncing with just as much enthusiasm.

“Yeah, but that’s not it.” You stopped her. “I mean yeah, that’s fantastic, but it’s way better than that.” You felt the tears begin to roll down your cheeks, too caught up in the situation to care. “He wants to continue on with it. He told me he thinks the idea is fantastic and worth the money. I’m not going to be working on, or following up somebody else’s research this summer. They want to work on mine.” Her eyes were wide, her previous demeanour completely frozen. After a few seconds, she exploded into a scream and engulfed you into a hug. You held on to her, wanting to yell just as badly. “Can you punch me? Just to make sure I’m not dreaming?”

She pulled back, shaking her head and wiping your tears away. “Not a dream.” She laughed, pulling you in for another embrace. “Y/n, they picked your topic from an undergraduate, not even a masters or a PhD. Do you know how huge that is?”

“I know! He told me he’s been waiting to work with me since the end of my first year. Apparently I’m the at the top of the program.” You were almost lightheaded, not being able to process what was happening.

“I’m so proud of you.” She said, taking your hands into hers. She gave them a squeeze, bringing you back to reality. “Did you tell anyone else?” You shook your head.

“No, I was going to text the sibling group chat and get it all over at once. I want to call Jake, but I’m just not sure if he’s busy or not.” You explained.

“Call him! If he’s busy, he won’t answer. I think this is way too important to wait to tell him.” She encouraged you.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna… I’ll go call him.” You breathed.

“Okay, but I’m taking you to dinner tonight to celebrate. We’ll go to The Garden, maybe get some drinks afterwards. It is Friday, after all.”

“Yeah, that sounds amazing. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You assured her.

“Good, now go call your loverboy.” She shooed you away. You jogged back to your room, letting the door fall shut behind you.

It had been almost two weeks since Jake left, meaning that your trip to Atlanta was right around the corner. Your brothers left the week prior, leaving your home quieter than you liked it. It was amazing having everyone there, but it was terrible when they all had to leave. You were adjusting, though, and knowing you were going to see Jake in a few days was really helping.

You slipped on the hoodie he’d so graciously left for you, and found the bottle of cologne, giving the front a small spritz. The smell immediately swarmed your senses, making you close your eyes in bliss. When your end of day meetings came to a close, you practically lived in his sweater. Him being gone this time was a little easier now that you had small reminders of him. You pulled your phone out, dialling his number off by heart. Your hands were vibrating as you clicked the speakerphone button. The dial tone rang a few times, but you couldn’t help but hope he’d pick up. You tapped your fingers on the wood of your desk, trying to remember if he told you he had a show or an interview that day.

“Hey, it’s Jake. Leave a message.” Your stomach sank with disappointment, but you didn’t let it last too long.

“Hey, rockstar. Big news, call me as soon as you can. Love you.” You didn’t let the voicemail linger, ending the call as soon as you finished speaking. As you stared at the screen of your phone, you realized you hadn’t heard from Jake since the night before. It was very strange of him not to send a good morning text, but you were so busy with work meetings all day you hadn’t picked up your phone at all.

You debated calling again, but decided against it. Instead, you went to your contact list and clicked on Josh’s name. You were expecting the same empty tone, but you were surprised when he answered after the first ring. “Hey, mama.” His usually happy tone was so comfortably familiar.

“Hey, Josh.” You couldn’t help but smile. Josh had rapidly become another brother to you, just the same as Sam and Danny.

“What could I have possibly done to deserve a call from such an angel?” You rolled your eyes, a laugh making its way out. Josh was a very verbal person, and extremely friendly, too. At first, you were a bit thrown off by his strong compliments, but you’d gotten over it quite quickly once you realized Jake never batted an eye about it. Clearly there was a lot of mutual trust between the two.

“Just missed your sweet voice, is all.” You joked. He let out a small chuckle.

“You’re too kind,” he said “but really, what’s up? Usually I’m the one calling you.”

“Don’t say it like that, that makes me sound like an asshole.” You replied.

“You know what I mean.” You could practically hear his eye roll through the phone.

“I know,” you assured him. “I was just calling to see if you knew where Jake was. I haven’t heard from him all day and I got some pretty big news. I called to tell him and he didn’t answer. I thought maybe you were all doing rockstar stuff, but it seems like you were waiting around for someone to call you.” You teased.

“Maybe I just drop everything to talk to you. Have you thought about that?”

“Whatever you say, Joshua.”

“To answer your question, I have no idea where he is. Today is kind of a day off, I guess. We’ve got a meeting tonight, but that’s more of us just hanging out with the managers.”

“Oh, that’s weird, then.” You said, uneasiness sprouting in your stomach.

“He could be asleep, or in music writing mode. I’ll get to the bottom of it for you.” He promised.

“Thanks, super-sleuth.” You laughed.

“What’s your big news?” Josh asked, changing the subject. You didn’t think the topic change was suspicious, more or less just Josh being nosy.

“I don’t know if Jake would forgive me if I told you first.” You were being honest. Jake wanted to be your biggest supporter, and you didn’t know if you telling Josh first would cause any issues. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt him.

“Ah, come on, mama. He didn’t answer, so it’s his loss. Besides, we’re practically the same person. Same DNA and all, you know?”

“I don’t think that makes you the same person, honey.” You giggled. “I think you just want to know.”

“Duh,” he scoffed “I won’t tell him, I promise. I’m really good with secrets.” Somehow, you weren’t sure if you believed him. But you were so excited about your accomplishment that you were itching to tell anyone who was willing to listen.

“Fine, okay, but promise you won’t say anything.”

“I won’t, I swear!” You could hear the giddiness in his voice.

“Okay, I’ll hold you to it, then.” You told him. “Basically, I started my summer internship with the biotechnology society this week. Today I met the head of the department and he told me he’s been wanting to work with me for a long time. He read my report about non-invasive blood-glucose tests and he wants to take it a step further. He thinks it’s worth the time and money.” You rushed out, feeling the excitement take over again.

“Y/n, that is fantastic!” He said. You could feel his smile in his words. One thing you adored about the four boys is that they all seemed incredibly genuine.

“Thank you, Josh. It’s super cool. Usually they only study graduate topics, but I guess he thinks I have what it takes.” You breathed, barely believing your own words.

“You absolutely have what it takes, mama, and Jake is going to be over the moon when you tell him.” You felt a smile break out on your lips.

“Thank you.” You really meant it. Jake and his brothers were always seemed so proud of you, and it made you feel so important. “I can’t wait to see you guys this weekend.”

“We’re really looking forward to it, too. Jake’s been so uptight when we practice because he wants to impress you at the show. It’s starting to get unbearable.” You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head in disbelief as if he could see you.

“I’m going to be the biggest fan there, even if he forgets how to play every song.”

“I know that, y/n. He just wants to show off for you. I, on the other hand, don’t have to practice. I already know I’ll win you over.” You rolled your eyes.

“Uh-huh,”

“Oh come on, what’s the matter with a little brotherly competition?” He joked.

“It seems more like a pissing contest.” You said. “Well, as nice as it’s been talking to you, I must go call my own brothers and tell them the news. They’ll be really upset if they find out I told you, first.”

“Like I said, my lips are sealed.” He promised. “I’m really happy for you, y/n.” His earlier tone of humour was gone, replaced with sincerity.

“Thank you, and thanks for picking up.” You said.

“As if I’d ignore you. I’ll find out what’s up with Jake and let you know. Talk soon?”

“Of course. Talk to you later, Josh.” You bid your goodbye. He hung up first, leaving you staring at the blank screen. Worry started to consume you, unsure of what Jake could be up to. The radio silence was extremely strange.

Before calling your own siblings, you decided to jump in the shower. You connected to your Bluetooth speaker, playing music softly in the background as you undressed and turned the faucet on. You climbed in, humming softly to the first song that came up on shuffle. You washed your hair and worked at getting all of the knots out. You took your time washing your body, letting the hot water sooth your stiffness from sitting in an office chair all day. You even took the time to exfoliate and shave. When you stepped out, you felt like a new person. You dried off, wrapping your hair in a towel, and throwing on an oversized t-shit and some sweatpants.

You went back to your room and threw your old clothes in your laundry basket. As you sat on the edge of your bed, your phone chimed from beside you. Your eyes fell on the screen, trying to make out who the message was from. Josh’s name was showing in the notification bar, so you picked it up to read what he said.

Twin Rockstar

Hey, checked on Jake. Don’t think he’s in his room. Will let you know when I find him :)

You typed a quick reply before clicking on your brothers contact. You figured you shouldn’t put off telling them the news any longer, and Sam would be the most likely to answer. You told him you needed him to call you ASAP, throwing your phone back on the mattress. You got up, moving to the closet and scouring through your heaps of clothes. Your hands settled on a simple red dress. Enough to look classy, but not enough to catch too much attention. You threw it on, spritzing some perfume and throwing on some deodorant. As you took your hair down to dry, you started on your makeup. You didn’t put on too much, just enough to accentuate your features.

You finished with swiping on the same lipstick you’d worn the night you met Jake. It was your favourite one before that night, but ever since it had caught his attention, it was the only one you liked to wear. Just as you were finishing up, your phone began to ring. You shuffled over, grabbing it off the mattress and accepting the video call. “Hello, Samuel.” You said, looking over his face.

“So you saw it, too?” He asked, forgoing any type of greeting. You raised an eyebrow, confused at what he could be talking about. He watched you carefully, quickly realizing that you did not want to call him for the same reason. “Oh, nothing.” He said, sheepishly. Your eyes hardened, not willing to play the game with him. He’d always done that; start a sentence or a story and try to change topics. Usually it was only when something bad happened. He hated giving bad news.

“What, Sam?” You pried, waiting for him to give in.

“Nothing, y/n. It was probably just a rumour anyway.”

“Just tell me, please.” You sighed. He shifted uncomfortably under your stare, but eventually conceded.

“I saw something. It’s probably nothing, I just thought you saw it, too, and that’s why you wanted me to call. You never send an urgent message.”

“What did you see, Sam?” Your stomach was twisting with anxiety the more the conversation went on. He let out a jumble of words that you had a hard time understanding. When you gave him a look of confusion, he rolled his eyes.

“I was doing my daily routine of stalking everyone on the internet.” He said, seeming to have trouble with how he was going to word his sentences. Leave it to Sam to spend an hour a day to catch up on everyone else’s drama. “And I saw a couple posts, a-and I think it’s just speculation and rumours,” he led into the topic as easy as he could. “But there’s a couple pictures of Jake going around. With another girl. And everybody thinks it’s a possible girlfriend.” He breathed. Your stomach dropped, but you held your expression firm, not letting a hint of emotion through.

“Oh, okay.” Was all you said. You tried to reason with yourself, wanting to believe that it was just a misunderstanding. Then, your brain immediately focused on the fact that you hadn’t heard from him all day, which was extremely unusual. That, and he hadn’t even told his brothers where he was. You were certain if Josh was lying to you, you’d be able to tell. He wasn’t very good at it. “Can you send me them?” You asked, clearing your throat to get rid of the lump that was forming.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, squirt. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” His attempt at deflecting the impact was failing miserably.

“Just send them to me, Sam.” Your tone was becoming more angry by the second. He let out a long sigh, but did so without another word. The incoming message popped up on the top of your phone, immediately drawing your attention. You clicked on it, the aforementioned pictures unpleasantly gracing your screen. You tapped on the screenshot, zooming in a little bit to get a closer look.

There he was, unmistakably Jake, sitting at a restaurant table across from an unknown girl. There was a familiar smile on his face, one that made you sick when you thought about him giving it to another girl. You swiped through the photos, quickly finding that it was a whole Twitter chain. ‘Damn, his fans are always on top of the game’ you thought to yourself. There was pictures of them eating together, one with his hand resting on her arm, one of them walking down the street a little too close for comfort, and the last one of her wearing his jacket. You felt an indescribable feeling wash over you.

You read through the comments of fans talking about seeing it, how pretty she was, how happy he looked, and some not so nice tweets. You couldn’t help but feel a small comfort at the unsupportive statements. Your rationale was completely gone now, filled with anger at the sight. More than anything, you felt like an idiot. You fell for him so hard, but he was a boy, and a rockstar, at that. You had no idea why you believed a insignificant girl in Baltimore could tie him down. He probably had a new girl falling for him in every city he visited. Panic started to seep in, realizing that everything you were afraid seemed to be coming true. The look in his eye when he was smiling at her sent a shiver down your spine. It was so similar to how he looked at you.

There was a small part of you insisting there must be more to the story. A bigger, louder part of you didn’t care. Your trust for men and significant others was already extremely low before you met him. You’d spent a lifetime getting treated like garbage and cheated on, and even if this wasn’t the case, you weren’t sure if you even wanted to know. It was easier for you to shut down, to draw the conclusion that boys would always be boys. Although the photos weren’t a tell-all, they certainly didn’t make you feel good when you looked at them. A tiny voice in your brain was telling you that you were being irrational, and that you were doing what you always did; you were using this as a scapegoat to jump ship before you got seriously hurt. Self-destruction was a very well acquainted friend of yours, but you thought you’d left it behind a long time ago.

You took a long, shaky breath before speaking again. “I gotta go.” You mumbled, not giving Sam any time to answer. You hung up, completely forgetting about the real reason you wanted him to call you. You turned your phone on silent, throwing on an old jean jacket. You slung your purse over your shoulder, making sure you had everything you needed before you walked out of your bedroom.

The door slammed behind you with enough force to rattle the wall beside it.

As you made your way down the hallway, your jaw was clenched hard enough to made your head ache. Another classic move of yours; burying the sadness in anger. You tried to break out of it your whole life, but having four hotheaded brothers that loved to pick on you made the emotion permanent. Eve peeked her head around the corner to see what created the loud noise, but recoiled at the look on your face. You walked past her, not able to even give a glance in her direction, scared if you did you would break down. You were sure Sam would tell her, anyway. You threw a pair of shoes on and disappeared through the front door as fast as you could. You knew where you were going, and nobody was going to stop you.

You made your way down the street, eyes set forward and unwavering. The tunnel vision made it easy to ignore all of the passerby’s. By the time you made it to the front door of your favourite bar, you were positively sick with despair. Your stomach was churning and your chest was aching. You wanted nothing more than to go home and cover yourself in blankets and sleep the pain away, but you were never so willing to let a boy ruin you. You pushed through the front door with such a force that everyone’s head turned to look at you once you stepped inside. You went straight to the bar, too determined to drink to pay any mind to them. You stopped once you got in front of the bar, pulling your card out. Mike approached you, giving you a look of curiosity.

“Awful early for you to be here. Usually you only drink before 8 if something serious happened.”

“Triple whiskey sour.” You muttered, in no mood to make conversation. “And two shots of fireball.” He eyed you with concern, but pulled the bottles out, anyway. He wasn’t worried that you couldn’t handle your liquor; he was worried about why you were itching to drink so badly.

“You okay?” He asked as he slid the shot glasses towards you. You took both back to back, ignoring the burning in your chest. It was nothing compared to the ache in your heart.

“Perfectly okay, Mike.” You promised. “Never been better, actually.” He handed you the solo cup, eyes never leaving your face.

“For some reason, I don’t know if I believe you.” He said, watching you take two long drinks out of the glass.

“Quit it with the concerned act. Business is business.” You scolded, mustering a small smile to lessen the blow of the harsh words. You tapped your debit card against the machine once he pushed it towards you, taking a seat in one of the chairs. Tonight was not a dancing night, you decided. You felt your phone vibrating in your purse. It hadn’t stopped since you left the house. You were sure it was Sam, and you cared so little that you didn’t even bother taking it out to check it.

Your first drink came to an end pretty fast, and Mike, knowing you well enough, kept a steady stream of refills in front of you. By the time 9 o’clock rolled around and the bar began to get busy, you were already hammered. The anger in your body was still raging, but you were drunk enough to bury it deep under the surface. Mike had got a bit more talking out of you as the time passed, only making his concern grow more. You were very elusive as to why you were so desperate to be intoxicated, making him believe that whatever the reason was, was really bad. He’d only seen you drink like that on a few occasions, and rarely ever did you go to the bar alone.

“I think you should answer your phone, darlin’.” Mike said, eyeing your purse on the counter as your phone vibrated. As he sat with you, he took note of all the calls you were ignoring.

“You can.” You giggled, nudging the bag towards him. He sighed, reminding you of your dad when he got upset. “I’m not worried about it.” He reluctantly opened your purse and took your phone out, figuring it was better to let your friends know you were alive. You were good enough friends with Mike for him to feel comfortable enough to answer your phone for you. It definitely wouldn’t have been the first time. He tapped the screen, lighting it up to reveal the extensive list of missed calls and texts.

“Eve sent you a bunch of question marks then asked where you went. She’s called you probably a million times. Sam is very worried about you and says he’s going to fly back here if you don’t answer him. Uh, whoever ‘twin rockstar’ is called and texted a few times. Ally called. And ‘Rockstar’ called you about… fifty times.” He listed off. All you could do was laugh. ‘Fuck Jake’, you thought to yourself.

“That’s nice. Can I get another shot with my next drink?” You asked.

“Y/n, you should at least tell Eve where you are.” You played with the straw in your cup, pretending not to hear him. He gave up, sliding your phone back to where it was before. After a moment, he obliged to your request, placing both drinks in front of you. You threw the shot back, feeling someone slide into the chair next to you as you placed the glass back down. You looked over, not recognizing the boy now in your company. You weren’t sure if you were too drunk to place the face, or if you’d never met him before.

“Hey,” he smiled at you. ‘Pretty smile’ you noted.

“Hi.” You replied, not really feeling up to making conversation. You kept your eyes on your drink, not willing to look up at him again.

“What are you drinking? I’ll buy you one.” You almost laughed out loud.

“No, thanks. I’m okay.” You told him, taking a long sip from your straw to avoid any further trouble.

“Why, you have a boyfriend?” He asked. It wasn’t harsh, more of a genuine inquiry. “He must be a lucky guy.” He spoke again before you could answer. You looked over to him, an unfamiliar feeling settling under your skin. You opened your mouth to respond, but you weren’t sure what to say.

“Uh, no, I don’t.” You decided in a split second. As the words came out of your mouth, it felt like someone had punched you in the stomach. “Not anymore, so I’m just not looking for anything.” You explained, gloom casting over you again.

“Sorry to hear that. He must be real stupid to let someone as pretty as you get away.” All you could do was chuckle at his statement. When silence ensued again, he took it upon himself to fill it. “If you change your mind, come and find me.” He quickly scribbled his number down on a bar napkin and slid it your way. Your eyes fell over it, almost finding it humorous. Once he got up and walked away, you handed it to Mike after ripping it in half.

“So dark and broody broke your heart?” Mike asked, tossing the paper in the garbage.

“Don’t say it like that. Makes him sound more important than he is. You have to love someone for them to break your heart.” You explained. Mike eyed you, a knowing look on his features.

“I think you’re lying to yourself, honey.” He said, handing you another shot. He was hyper-aware of your state, wanting to recognize when he needed to cut you off. “It’s okay to get hurt. Makes us human.”

“No lies and not human.” You told him, a sweet smile on your lips.

“Whatever you say.” He shook his head, moving on to serve the next customer. You lost yourself in the music playing over the speakers, finally seeming to rid yourself of the overwhelming emotions. Your face was hot and your body felt light. Your head was swimming with words, but none of them came together to make a worthwhile statement. The intoxication had reached a point where all of your inhibitions were gone; it was a dangerous situation for someone hurting so badly. Just because you weren’t currently immersed in the hurt, didn’t mean you weren’t trying to suffocate it for good.

You walked over to the pool tables, grabbing a cue and racking the balls. You sipped at your drink, shooting aimlessly and sinking shots intermittently. After a while, a group of people joined you at your table. You had no idea who they were, or what their names were. You were sure they told you, but you were in no state to remember them. There were a few girls and two guys, and they all seemed super friendly. They were a good tool to pass the time with, or perhaps more of a distraction than anything. Either way, they were buying pitchers of drinks and sharing, and they were quite funny.

As the hour neared midnight, Mike had turned the sound system up as he usually did. You retracted your much earlier thought, realizing that dancing was the best sounding activity at the moment. One of the boys from the group took his chance, moving closer to you and dancing alongside you. Instead of recoiling, you allowed it, ready to reap the consequences later. He twirled you around, pulling you closer to him so your chest was pressed to his. You both sang the song to each other, faces dangerously close. His hand was on your hip, eyes never leaving you. You were having a good time, but couldn’t shake how wrong it felt. Sure, it was fun, but it was absolutely meaningless. You never wanted to feel something meaningless again after feeling what you had with Jake. He leaned in, attempting to catch you in a kiss, but you withdrew, suddenly feeling dirty for even letting another guy get that close to you. You were lost in thought, almost furious again knowing that Jake still had your entire heart. As bad as you wanted to rid yourself of him, you were more terrified of feeling like you weren’t his anymore, or him yours. The thought didn’t last long, because someone grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the group.

You looked to the source of the disturbance, only to be met with the fuming faces of your roommates. You took a moment to process it, blinking hard to rid yourself of the double vision. “We’ve been calling you all night.” Eve said, dangerously calm. “We didn’t know if you were dead, or if you got kidnapped, or what, until Mike called us and told us you were here.”

“Why would he-“

“Do not get mad at him for looking out for you.” She snapped. You felt a wave of nausea run through you as your face burned with heat. “I’m taking you home before you do something you’ll regret.” She pulled you towards the door, not willing to listen to any sort of explanation. When you got outside, the cool night air hit you like a million knives on your skin.

“Eve,” you mumbled. She continued walking, not listening to your warning. “M’gonna be sick.” You told her. She stopped, looking back at you. Her tough exterior faltered, now really seeing the state you were in. She pulled you back in an alleyway, gathering your hair in her hands. You braced yourself with your hand on the brick of the building, heaving until there was nothing left in your stomach. When you straightened up, there were tears in your eyes. Some from throwing up, but more from crying.

You took a step back, leaning your whole body against the wall and letting out the sob you’d been holding back all night. Ally was standing guard at the end of the side-street, making sure nobody could witness your crisis. You were consumed with the memories of the pictures you saw earlier that night, feeling a non-alcohol related sickness in your stomach. Eve dug in your purse, finding a small pack of tissues. She pulled one out and cleaned off your face as best she could before discarding it on the ground. Normally, she’d be appalled at the thought of throwing garbage on the ground. At the moment, she was willing to sacrifice her morals rather than hold on to the repulsive piece of paper.

She brushed the hair from your face, for once being completely unsure of how to help you. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d seen you so upset. “Let’s get you home, okay?” She whispered. You managed a nod through your inconsolable state. She led you back to the main road after helping you take your heels off. She kept a supportive hold around your back, making sure you didn’t stumble and fall. Ally took to the other side of you, also offering her support.

The walk was treacherous and much longer than it should have been. By the time the two girls got you through the door, you were nothing short of a mess. Eve whispered something to Ally that you didn’t quite catch. Then, Eve helped you to the couch and Ally disappeared from sight. Eve took a seat next to you, gently wiping away the tears staining your cheeks. You tried to catch your breath, feeling completely out of control. Within a few minutes, Ally had rejoined the group holding a plethora of items in her arms. She put them down on the couch, making fast work at her mission.

First she pulled out a few makeup wipes, handing them to Eve so she could rid you of the mascara running down your face. When she was done, she placed the wipes on the coffee table. Ally handed her a hair tie next. Eve turned you slightly, combing her hands through your hair and quickly braiding it. “Next parts gonna be a bit harder.” She mumbled. “Gotta stand for me, okay?” You gave a nod. She helped you to your feet, steadying you before unzipping the back of your dress and slipping the sleeves off. When it fell to your ankles, she pulled a large t-shirt over your head. “There.” She sighed. You slowly sat back down on the sofa, feeling the world spinning around you.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, squeezing your eyelids shut. Tears were still making their way out with no sign of stopping.

“I know.” She said, thumb brushing them away as fast as they were falling. “I know you’re hurting. We all do stupid stuff when we’re hurting.��

“I told him I loved him. He said he loved me, too.” You cried, feeling the ache settle in your bones again. “He promised.” You blubbered.

“I know, honey. We’re gonna get some sleep and sober you up a bit, and we’ll fix this in the morning, okay?”

“I’m supposed to go to Atlanta next weekend.” In your drunken state, you unintentionally disregarded everything she was saying. “He said he was gonna take me around the world with him. I knew this was going to happen. I never should have opened up. I never should have let this happen.” You let out a shaky breath. “I don’t even know if he did it, or not. All I know is that it hurts. ‘nd m’so scared because I hate when people have this much power over me.” She knew you were really fucked up over this, because it was nothing like you to come out with all of your feelings so willingly. “I love him. I really love him. I’ve never felt like this before, and it just made me realize that he makes me so happy, but he has the power to take it away whenever he wants. And he’s this big rockstar who can have anybody he wants. All he has to do is say the word. He can have girls who looks like that. Why would he settle for me?”

“Hey, that is not true. Anyone who ends up with you will be the luckiest person in the world.” She scolded, not willing to accept that.

“He’s just… he’s Jake. And he’s perfect. And I adore him. A-and I’m so scared of losing him that… that I feel like I have to leave first, to spare myself from the worse hurt, later, you know?” You hiccuped. “I always do this. M’gonna ruin it for myself because m’always so fucking scared! I tried to get rid of the feeling, to get rid of him, but all of the stuff that usually works just made me think about him even more. I don’t want him to have that power over me, don’t want him to be able to flip my world upside down whenever he wants, but it just felt so good being loved by him and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forget it.” You let your head fall back into the cushion of the couch, completely defeated by how you were feeling. She quickly caught on to the fact that this whole situation may have had a lot less to do with the pictures from earlier, and much more to do with your fear of being in love.

“I know, baby.” She practically winced. She didn’t know the full story. She only knew what Sam had told her, then Jake’s incoherent babbling on the phone when he called her earlier. He was so out of his mind with worry she was surprised he didn’t jump on a plane and fly back just to make sure you were alive. Then, when she finally calmed him down enough to tell him she would make sure you were okay, Josh called and voiced his worry and defence of his brother. Eve was completely in the loop from all sides of the battle, but she had no idea what was really going on. “Ally is going to get the air mattress and we’ll all stay out here tonight. We’re not gonna leave you.” She pulled you into her, holding you close. Ally disappeared once again, off to gather more necessities. Eve rubbed your back, soothing you as you worked through your emotions. Her main concern was you, and it would always be that. Once you were asleep, she’d worry about everyone else.

The two girls banded together to pump up the large air mattress, having to take turns every now and again. Eventually, they had it set up and decorated the top with comforters and pillows. They prompted you to get in, wanting to get you to sleep as fast as possible, hoping if you got enough rest you’d feel better in the morning. They turned on a speaker, playing gentle music in the background so you could focus on something other than your hurt. It didn’t take long for the alcohol in your system to lull you to sleep, soft snores falling from your mouth.

“What the fuck happened?” Ally asked, finally winding down from the eventful night.

“I… couldn’t tell you, really. Sam sent me some suspicious pictures of Jake and another girl. Apparently Twitter thinks they’re together. And you know her, she doesn’t really believe in explanations or second chances. I guess it probably reminded her of last time. And I think she may be using it as a cop out because she’s really in love with him, and that terrifies her.”

“Do you think Jake would do that to her?” Ally asked, genuinely curious.

“He seems to be head over heels for her, but the pictures did seem kind of incriminating. He wasn’t kissing her or anything like that, but he was pretty close with her and she was wearing his jacket. Whoever she was, he looked quite enthralled in her. If i were her, I’d probably be pretty hurt, too. I don’t think she’s wrong to feel upset, especially if she didn’t know about it or who she was before she saw the pictures. I do think she should talk to him about it before running away.” Eve explained. Ally gave a nod. “Jake called me and he was super upset. Could barely understand what he was saying. He was just all over the place. Told him I’d make sure she was okay, but I didn’t ask him about it. I’m on team y/n, always. I’m not going to vouch for him, cause that will only make her mad at me.” She shrugged. “Even if he didn’t cheat on her, she’s still hurting. Maybe a bit more from her internal battles, but she’s still hurting.”

“I get that.”

“Josh called, too, trying to explain on behalf of his brother. It’s just a mess. I hope that Jake does have a good explanation, because I really like them together. But I’m not sure if she’ll listen to him, even if he does. She doesn’t listen to anyone but herself.” Eve chuckled. Ally nodded, knowing that all too well. “She already has the idea in her head, and every one of those feelings are multiplied by a thousand because she’s in love. Like, really in love. I don’t think she’s been this crazy for anyone, ever.” Just as she finished speaking, your phone began to ring in your purse again. Eve pulled it out, inspecting the screen. She sighed, rejecting the call and picking up her own phone. She dialled back the number that called you and waited for him to answer. She didn’t feel the need to completely block Jake out, but she’d be damned if she was going to let you know she was talking to him.

“Hey,” a raspy voice said from the other side of the phone.

“Hello, Jacob.” Eve said.

“Is she okay?” Her eyes looked towards you sleeping soundly on the air mattress.

“That’s a relative term, I think.” She grimaced slightly, recalling the state you had been in. “Alive, yeah, but she’s really fucked up.”

“Okay.” Jake said, clearing his throat a little bit. “I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“That’s also quite relative. I’d like to say I know, but I can’t.”

“I didn’t cheat on her.” He said firmly. “I’m not cheating on her. I would never do that.”

“Okay.” She replied, mimicking his earlier statement.

“I absolutely know why she’s mad at me. If it was the other way around and I saw those pictures, I’d… yeah.” He trailed off.

“I can’t defend you to her, Jake. She’s been my best friend for years. I barely know you. Even if she’s overreacting, which I am absolutely not saying she is, I’m on her side.” Eve explained. “Unless she did something really fucked up, which she didn’t, and she won’t.” She added quickly, wanting to clarify that she wouldn’t blindly stand up for you in every context. “She’s a spitfire. She goes from 1 to 100 faster than anyone I’ve ever met. Yeah, she’s upset about what happened today, but I think she’s also having a hard time with being in love. She’s scared of it. Always has been. She’s so independent that it’s actually infuriating, and I believe she may be struggling with depending on someone for once. This whole thing might have been the excuse she’s been waiting for, to run away.” Eve explained. “I think maybe if she just saw the pictures, it wouldn’t have been so bad. But all of those Twitter comments were pretty hard to read, and I’m not even dating you.”

“I know. That part of fame sucks. Everyone speculates, and stories spread before we even know that it caught someone’s attention. And I get it. I understand why you and her both feel the way you do. I would feel the same if one of my brothers got hurt.” She did feel quite bad for him. She didn’t think Jake was a bad guy, but perhaps not the best at communication. In this instance, at least. “Can you at least try to get her to come to Atlanta? Just so I can talk to her. I’ll fly her back as soon as I do, if that’s what she wants. I just can’t leave things like this, and I know she’ll never answer my calls.” His words were met with a staggering silence. After a while, Eve spoke again.

“Do you swear on your life you didn’t cheat on her?” She asked, picking at a string that had frayed from the hem of her sweater.

“I promise.” He said, quite firmly.

“Cause if I get her to go Atlanta and I find out you really did fuck her over, I’ll kill you.” She replied as a matter-of-fact.

“I would never do that to her, Eve.” She believed him, for the most part. If he was lying, he was really good at it. “I love her.” He finally admitted. The sincerity in his words took her off guard.

“I’ll try, rockstar. It may not work, and I’m not going to force her, but I’ll try to get her on that plane. Only because I think you guys are cute together, and you made her so happy. She’s never had that before. It took a lot for her to give you a chance, especially after the last guy. If this ends like this, I don’t think she’ll ever recover.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t. And also, this conversation never happened. I’m not defending you, I’m not going behind her back, nothing like that. The only reason I’m doing this is because I think it’s in her best interest. Even if it’s just closure, that’s fine by me.” She warned. “Now think up a real good apology, rockstar.”

“Will do.” He said. There was no room for any more words, because she’d already hung up. Ally gave Eve a look of caution, worried that Eve was going to rock the boat even further. Eve brushed it off, standing and flicking the lights off in the living room. She climbed on the air mattress and wrapped herself up in a blanket. Ally followed suit, both of them falling asleep not long after with the hope that the morning would bring some form of clarity.

TAGLIST: @gvfpal @jakesgrapejuice @hellowgoodbye

[theatrekidenergy]

Vent!

PLEASE Do NOT read below the cut if you are a sensitive to talks of e*ting problems, we*ght loss and everything in that range. I care about you so much, please take care of yourself, eat something that makes you feel good, get some rest, and love you for you hunny. I’m here if you ever need someone to talk too. 🫶

TW: recovering ana, weight loss, weight mention, venting

This post IS NOT pro-ana, this is a VENT and I am trying to recover, if you are pro-ana or a th*nspo blog I will block and report you if you interact with this post. /srs

I lost weight for so long, I’m 5’3 / 5’4, and at first I was 111lbs, then I went down to 106lbs within like 3 weeks. But I flared up, couldn’t walk for more than 10 steps without collapsing, couldn’t workout or skate, chronic illness fucking hurts. And I gained. I gained so fucking much so, so fast. The medication I was on slowed my metabolism to shit and I’m 112lbs now. I know that weight fluctuations are normal at my age, but FUCK why????? Shit it hurts. Then, I lost a couple more pounds a couple days back, went down to 108 and it flucated io again to 110. My birthday was today and last night was my party the night before and my friend wanted to make a candy salad so I said yes. Of course I said yes. They’re my best friend. But I ate so much. And I weighed myself in the morning. 112. How the actual fuck did I gain that much?

I had to punish myself somehow, but my dad, my god awful dad who’s only nice to me approximately 2 days a year (my birthday and Christmas) decided to take me to lunch at a buffet. I ate so damn much. Noodles and soup and shit. I tried to eat low cal but once again my fucking dumb ass actually did something right for once after having a lunch and breakfast taht put me in the 500’s ended up having a salad for dinner. But my big brother and his fantastic girlfriend (love them both SOSOSO much) did baking, they always do baking, and I always feel guilty and it always makes me binge. Today they made cinnamon rolls as a “happy birthday Adam!” Surprise, I got the smallest one (probably like 180 cal, give or take) and by then I had already fucked uo and got my calories to a 1,180. I only worked out for 25 minutes today, and I’m still at 110.5lbs and I feel just so so disgusting. My neck feels fat. When I don’t press my tongue there isn’t even a little crook (I always slide my finger into that crook before I eat, I’m trying to stop in recovery but it’s so hard to break. I used to use it as a determiner if I could eat, period. But now I’m slipping back into the habit, maybe I’ll stop when I’m thin again. I know it’s not healthy. I don’t know what to do to stop. I’ll talk to a therapist when I get the chance. I think my parents are starting to notice.)

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

Hi, hello, hola, and happy Stab Caesar Day! Tumblr ate my original draft because, um, I guess its hunger is horrible and insatiable? But here I am for take two. Thank you to @artsyunderstudy, @larkral, and @forabeatofadrum, who tagged me today and who continue to craft delightful things.

Updates on My Good Egg (Good morning, good night, good morning): My plan of posting Chapter 4 today ain't gonna happen. I updated the author's notes, but the next posting date is TBD. I need to focus on my health right now, and then I'll be travelling for a bit (March 24-April 7). But hey, if you've been meaning to read this one, now's a great time to catch up? 🤣

In the meanwhile, I'll share a snippet featuring several of my OCs, Baz's queer, chaotic uni friends. Behind the cut for mild spice. 🌶️

Bunce goes off with Simon so that she can pump the American bartender for information, and as soon as they’re out of earshot, Emma leans forward, her eyes glittering. “Well?”

“Well what.”

“I told Liu and Ramesh you got kidnapped,” Emma says, waving her hand dismissively, “and of course we’re all very worried and hope you’re doing okay and acclimating to regular life again, but have. You. Ridden. That.” 

Baz regrets downing a few rats before they left for the pub, because it means he has enough blood in him to blush. “We’ve been figuring out this kidnapping situation,” he says coolly. “It hasn’t left much time for carnal pursuits.” 

“Baz,” Liu says, aghast. “Why haven’t you fucked that nice himbo? He’s clearly gagging for it - he couldn’t stop staring at your arse in those jeans.” 

“Is he a himbo?” Ramesh says. He pulls out a pen and starts to doodle a triple Venn diagram on a napkin. “He seemed like more of a twunk to me. And he’s got a great bear belly.” 

“Ladies,” Emma says, her hands fluttering in mock-distress, “please don’t objectify that sweet boy before Baz gets to objectify him. Baz will eat his fill of the man-meat and then give us a report.” 

(Please put in the comments/tags if you think Simon Snow is a twunk, a himbo, or something else delightful. 🤣)

Hello tags and tagbacks: @whogaveyoupermission, @cutestkilla, @facewithoutheart, @captain-aralias, @fatalfangirl, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @whogaveyoupermission (THE EDGING CONTINUES), @raenestee, @ileadacharmedlife, @shrekgogurt, @hushed-chorus, @shemakesmeforget, @theimpossibledemon, @imagineacoolusername

More about the hiatus for My Good Egg:

(Warning for some hard stuff, Big Feelings, trauma recovery. Feel free to skip and just bask in Ides of March posts instead!)

Okay, so introspective life/writing blather here... I keep meaning to write a post, at some point, about some of the best practices that I follow when I am writing about material that is heavy, like in Baker boxer teacher grief or the Rosethorn girl universe.

A lot of stuff that works for me is probably self-evident: go slow, be gentle, ground yourself, talk to safe people, have a release valve, be able to walk away, offer yourself a lot of self-care and self-compassion, take care of the soft animal of your body. And don't feel like you have to put everything in - some of what you can write can just be for you, and it can be enough to have written it, and not include it in the finished product.

I honestly didn't expect Good morning, good night, good morning to get me where I live. It is, as I've always maintained, a dumb horny rom com (that somehow developed a plot and backstory and plot TWISTS and OCs but ANYWAY). But there was a line in Chapter 3 that kept rattling around in me:

“You were a kid,” Simon says, his voice low and angry. “You were just a kid.” 

This is not the first time I've been triggered by own fic (and probably won't be the last, LOL!), but this one did me a doozy. I've had to take a few steps back, and just focus on recovering from trauma that's been reactivated in my body. It is wild what the body remembers, and how it holds onto pain.

(There is, at the same time, other stuff happening with my family with grief and estrangement and just a whole mischegoss of hard feelings, so that adds another element into the mix.)

To circle back round to My Good Egg: I'm putting it to the side for now while I tend to my health and just recovering from the past few weeks. It's funny - I don't think it's a particularly angsty story or one that does a super deep dive into trauma, but I need to take some pieces off my plate right now, and this fic is one of them.

I will always keep writing - the WIP game has been a delightful brain refresher, and I have a very fun Six Sentence Sunday post that I'm already excited to share. But for now, My Good Egg is gonna have a li'l nap. When I come back to it, I think I'll switch over to writing the second draft in its entirety, and then posting the chapters weekly, whenever that happens. I'm not putting a timeline on it right now.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk making your way through this personal essay, if you've gotten this far. I am continually blown away and delighted by everyone who engages with the fic, and I am so excited to serve you up some treats in the future.

To end on a lighter note, here is an exchange with my spouse, the inestimable EarlobeGreyTea who continues to offer thoughtful and nuanced feedback on this fic, Exhibit A:

EarlobeGreyTea: Did they fuck in this chapter?

Me: No Me: And they didn't fuck in the previous chapter Me: It's the EROTIC Grope Fest. It doesn't have to have explicit sex (yet) EarlobeGreyTea: Yeah, I guess it isn't the Sloppy Fuck Fest

Love you all. ❤️❤️❤️

[kafkaoftherubble]

@pieadvisor

Are you asking, "Lyndis, what the hell is this?"

Are you wondering, "Lyndis, what the hell is this?"

Are you thinking, "Lyndis, is this dangerous?"

Well—

You must play This Track first before unlocking Read More for The Lore.

MERRY BIRTHDAY, π !!!

Happy Christmas!!!

Hee hee! In Chinese, what I did up there would have qualified as an instance of 献丑. It means "embarrassing yourself willingly." You'll have to pardon me; not only am I no writer, I'm also no singer!

So why did I do this when a simple Happy Birthday will do, you ask?

Because, just like my rambling, I'm extra as fuck Well, I had used this exact birthday audio only once before you, and that was for my Best Friend.

She did her own version of Happy Birthday one year, which was quite the show-off of her because she has a mellifluous voice and quite the gift for music. Meanwhile, Lyndis over here is _____ (fill in the blank yourself hhahahahah).

However! (oh, where is the BGM) Determined to uphold the principle of Equivalent Exchange, I cobbled my own version of the song as a return gift. I was supposed to make it sound, ya know, 1940s-ish. I adore music from that era (I know, I know. I'm not washing away my Granny Allegation now, aren't I?), so I tried to fashion it after that era.

Yea, underline-bold-italic "tried." You are welcome to decide how, er, "successful" I did.

I thought using it only once for one person was a waste. So, I decided to use it again.

How did I create this mustardpeas, you ask?

Well, it's not through sophisticated sound engineering or incredibly useful apps, that's for sure. Nor was it through intricate singing techniques, though every sound in there was me.

The method was actually as primitive as having two recording devices. I sang one part of the song while recording it on Constantine, the phone. Then I played it back while singing a new layer over it while recording it on Zelda, the tablet. Then I played that back and sang another layer while recording with Constantine, the phone, again.

I think there were 4 layers in this in total. If you hear a 5th layer, please write a painstaking observation report for me including the kind of voice, what they are saying, et al. A ghost eluding me? Smartass.

Obviously, the earliest layer would become rather degraded as you kept re-re-re-record it—scratchy, just like them old records. So it was still part of my keikaku!

No, seriously. It's a tad bit of effort, right?

Well, yesn't. Because, again, it was originally done for Best Friend. So technically, I didn't have to make any extra effort other than what I already did last time. I guess this letter is the aforementioned effort, though. Since I wrote this in the wee hours of the morning after I finished my work for the week!

But I suppose I would like someone to be happy on their birthday?

Sometimes, a bit of upsetting things could happen on your day, and because it's your day, it could wear you down a bit more than usual through the fault of dopamine crash (heightened due to expectations).

So I thought, in case that happened, I hope my 1940s-inspired (apparently) Birthday Song By My Mediocre Singing Ass could bring a wee bit of cheer through sheer surprise or something like that. Salvage some of that dopamine, you know? I can only do this trick once!

And should the case not happen, and you had a great day every step of the way today, then it would still be nice to have this lil' shit be one of the reasons your birthday's a good one, innit?

I see this as a win no matter what way the day goes. Gee, I'm truly a brilliant schemer! I accounted for everything!

So yea. Happy birthday! I sure hope it's a rising trajectory from here on out. I mean, 'course, it ain't gonna be swell all the time. Life's a bitch. A fucking bitch ass motherfucker sometimes, even. What I mean is that if you pull it out of the moment and plot it on a cartesian plane, I hope your graph is ultimately going upward.

See ya around! Merry Christmas on your way out!

——Yours Truly, Lyndis

P.S. You may also wonder why this is a post instead of an Ask. That's because I've been away from Atom, the Laptop, for these few days. I only signed into Tumblr through this laptop (to avoid mindless scrolling instead of reading and studying shits that can actually satisfy my Brain's hunger, which can happen if I signed in through more convenient devices like Zelda the tablet). I need to schedule this for the day itself, right? This is also why, should you send me letters or replies in this window of time, I have offered zero feedback. But again, I'm likely ghost-reading your blog every now and then... now that's me returning to my roots, heh.

[nukenai]

tw death stuff since it’s BEEN A REAL FEW DAYS FOR ME i am going to have lasting trauma. i just gotta talk about it bc that’s how I deal with shit. don’t feel remotely obligated to read this i just. you know

got through all of Oma’s services and stuff fine today. I was really HEADACHE about it because it’s like, I’ve already been dealing with this shit for a few days and then having to deal with all the Newly Sad People coming in the room and just everything.

then everyone came back to the house and having that many people in my house was like. no!!!! i hate it. but it went alright and now i have food for quite some time lol so that’s fine

i’m going to go into details about what happened here slightly bc it was Rough and I just wanna. put it down somewhere

I found Oma on Friday morning in her bed and like, well, you don’t really know what to do with that situation. I had a feeling something was up when I saw the kitchen lights weren’t on, so. I texted my sister first but then immediately called 911. Shout out to the 911 guy, he taught me how to do CPR! even though it did nothing and was just kind of awful because I’d just had to move Oma to the floor. Also I hung up on him like 3 times because my face pushed the button but then I called him back each time. He was very cool about it. Thanks guy.

The first responders and police officers that came were all very kind. The one officer stayed with us for quite a while, she was really nice, eventually she got another call so she had to go. But they all sort of handled the situation, I was on the phone with my sister at that point until my SIL got to the house. The cops kept an eye on me but probably didn’t bother me much because I was on the phone with family.

Family started showing up, luckily my dad lives and works close so he arrived shortly after my SIL. I’ll slightly tldr this but like. The first responders left a huge box of Very Medical Supplies in the house and it was like !!! no thank you dfgjhsjghfdg. I didn’t go back in and see Oma after leaving the room when the responders arrived bc you know, bad! hate it.

Friday was a mess bc we spent time at the funeral home and like nobody wanted to leave me alone in the house which I get. Saturday my sister, SIL, and I went down to Brooklyn because my sister was seeing a show and SIL was going shopping so I went shopping too. I actually had a very great time shopping, the only real issue was that I was having very EXTREME, VIOLENT FLASHBACKS to the morning before, the ENTIRE fucking time.

I’m happy to report that the flashbacks are ALREADY better, I keep having them but they’re not having any real effect on me other than “ah, yeah, that happened”.

Sunday me and sister and SIL went out shopping for new things for the house. I replaced some things I’ve been wanting to replace for literal years lol... It’s a weird thing to be “excited” about because like... on one hand I’m really worried about how I’m going to actually be able to pay for everything. I can’t really survive in a WHOLE HOUSE by myself money-wise so I’ll probably definitely have to find at least one housemate. It’s just a matter of who and how because most of my friends live with significant others and whatnot. So idk if THEY’D be cool with that y’know.

But it’s only been a few days so I’m just like, trying to keep my head on my shoulders. I’m a pretty independent person in terms of Daily Existing so I’m used to doing stuff like housework and being by myself since Oma would go to bed early and I’m a night owl. I don’t have a ton of lingering regrets or anything, just a few, and I’m working through them. They’re not really eating at me so I think I’m doing okay so far.

This fucking sucks man but my family said they’ve got my back. I’ll be okay at least for a few months while things are figured out and that’s a long time. I really just wanna focus on enjoying my trip, and then worrying about other stuff later.

I think I am, so far, doing remarkably okay for someone who found a dead body of a family member 4 days ago and had to immediately go into Extreme Emergency Mode and had my entire life turned upside down aaahahahaha. I’m okay.

[heretic-saint-taliesin]

DAY 7 - SALVAGE SHIP THE WRETCHED_

[Communications commence, Boris is unusually chipper_] 

Day Seven, salvage ship The Wretched. Flight Engineer Boris reporting. Seven. Day Se-ven. Seven whole days. A week. Oh god I’ve been alone a WEEK_

I’ll just keep myself occupied. Staying still is going to drive me stir-crazy. Keep up and keep moving_

LOUD NOISES. I DON’T LIKE WHEN THE SHIP STARTS MAKING LOUD FUCKING NOISES! It wasn’t content with glitching the scanners nooooooo we had to go set off the PROXIMITY ALARMS DIDN’T WE?_

[Boris’ yelling echoes around him as he loudly wrestles with controls. An alarm is blaring in the background in a whining, echoing siren_] 

WEEWOO WEE FUCKING WOOO SHUT UUUUP! God… Goddamnit! It’s just sitting close enough to set the alarms off knowing it will upset me isn’t it? It damn well knows. It knows I’m slowly losing my mind on this ship and it’s going to try and speed up the process!_

[There’s the sound of a keyboard banging and the alarms cut out. Boris, however, keeps yelling_]

THERE. I’M SO HAP-HAP-HAPPY THAT IT’S NICE AND QUIET NOW!_

[He growls, kicks something that echoes with the impact, and slumps down heavily. As he speaks his voice is calmer_]

I miss ADAM. He’d know the difference and not just ring the fucking proximity alarm. Sure, he didn’t let us know about the asteroid we hit but there were other issues going on - but he’d certainly not fuck up this bad. I miss him. I miss Ada keeping ADAM in line_

Oh… Oh my god. I’ve done it. It’s taken a week of on and off tinkering and trying and retrying but I’ve done it! The beacon is up and responding! It’s broadcasting! Safely too - not in a way that’s going to have this thing whispering over my comms again. It’s broadcasting me speak and maybe… Just maybe someone will respond! Engineering skills finally paying off! Hollis would be proud of me!_

[He’s genuinely so excited, getting up and clapping his hands with growing hope_]

This is Flight Engineer Boris Strugatsky - Survivor of the Salvage Ship The Wretched! If you can hear this please respond! If you can hear this please come and find me! Pinpoint my coordinates and get me off this wreck!_ 

[He keeps yelling a few more times, his footsteps sounding like he’s spinning in circles until he collapses with heavy breathing_]

I am… I am going to get off this thing. The beacon is my ticket out. I just need it to work. I really hope it works. This is… Hope. After all this week this is hope_ 

[He sighs with relief_]

Two more tasks today. I am okay. I am okay. I will be okay_

I can’t let my elation at the beacon distract from everything, I still have tasks. I’m still examining the extent of the damage on board this ship in case there are more essential repairs I have to do. Even if the beacon is a good sign this whole thing is not over yet.

There’s damage everywhere I go anyway, far as the eye can see. Corridors marred with scarring from god knows what body parts this alien thing has to attack with. Given the depth of the gouges into the metal panelling I’ve been assuming claws - maybe jaws? Some of them look horribly like teeth marks_

[Pause, Boris makes a shuddering sound_]

Whatever claws this thing has they’re not something I want to be on the receiving end of. They look like they’d tear you to shreds and then your shreds to ribbons… It makes me get a cold feeling in my spine when I look at them for too long_

[Pause_]

Further along, it looks like bite marks along some of the beams and maybe something else. Footprints? Foot… claws? Are those a thing? Yes of course they’re a thing. This thing is sharp all over_ 

[Sigh_]

At least these are all old damage marks. Nothing new from last check. It hasn’t been here again since and that is reassuring_

I came back to our habitat pod and did some rummaging around. Just to see if I’ve missed anything useful_

[There are noises to suggest he is still rummaging.]

I found a journal that’s so eye-wateringly pink I know it has to have been Ada’s. She’s the only one this into pink to have something this violently coloured. I know it’s hers_

[Pause_]

It feels wrong to read it. Like… Really wrong. That was her diary and her thoughts. Even if she… She… It just feels like it isn’t my business at all_

[There’s a longer pause, and then rustling, the sound of pages turning_]

I, Boris Strugatsky, am an asshole who reads a girl’s personal diary because she’s dead. I am going to hell. I am in hell. I am still reading her diary_

[Pause_]

Ada liked to write about ADAM a lot, there’s a lot of technical stuff in here that’s way beyond even my knowledge of computing. I’m not the most tech illiterate person out there but even still some of this is… Beyond me. She could have gone really far with this. I remember her saying that this was just her entry level step to better stuff - they wanted her to manage ADAM on this ship because she wrote the code for him. She was literally the one keeping him up and alive while he ran the ship and kept the rest of us alive. Now they’re both dead_

[Boris sighs and keeps reading, muttering quietly and inaudibly before speaking into the recorder again_]

Lot of this is disparaging Doug for his pranks, I get that. Rambling about the Commander being strict and then Mary being prudish - that’s rude. Mary was nice, she just… Had a preference for not demanding we fight aliens every week. Life isn’t sci-fi and all that - and well Ada got her wish to fight an alien and now look where we all are. I shouldn’t say that_

[Pause_]

Ada I’m sorry. I’m such a fucking asshole_

She missed stuff from earth a lot. Not home but… Boba tea and bubblegum. Stuff that was rationed up here because you can’t just go back 8 light years to earth and pick them up easily. I get that. Ada was a child compared to the rest of us at nineteen so… I get that_

[Pause_]

I shouldn’t read more of this. It’s private. I’m going to put it with everyone else’s affairs and leave well alone. Time for bed._ 

Flight Engineer Boris Strugatsky Signing off_

[thessalian]

Thess vs Appraisals

Today was a good day. Tiring, and painful, but good.

As mentioned, I was asked to come into work today instead of yesterday, because short-handed. Which ... no kidding - Temp, Goblin, and the other part-timer were all out. Honestly, while it did make the sheer volume of work a little stressful, but it could have been worse. No, the worst of it was that it was pouring rain when I left the house. Yegh.

Of course, the other level of stress was it being employee appraisal day. I hate employee appraisals. I always dread them. It’s not that I think I’m bad at my job; I am fully aware that I’m not. It’s just frustrating to have this whole questionnaire and meeting with manager to figure out how you’re doing at your job. I do my job. I do it to the best of my ability. And if I judge that I’m doing better at my job than manager does, that’s just embarrassing. And most managers are happy to use those to try to bully employees into working even harder than they already were. I should know; I’ve had a few like that.

So I went into little borrowed office serving as ‘meeting room’ with Scruffman, and mostly it started with a discussion wherein we determined that I really only had to go in if they were drastically understaffed as far as Scruffman is concerned, and that we’ll meet up in March to talk about my taking more hours on days when I’m working from home. Then we moved on to the actual appraisal and ... apparently I distinctly underestimate myself. We talked about the various ways I’ve been streamlining the typing process (macros set on our transcription system for specific phrases that get used all the time so I don’t have to type them in full, stuff like that). The fact that I’m always willing to help out with urgent typing, digging up reports on request, helping with minor IT issues, whatever else comes up. That I apparently listen well before I try to give input into something. Even the fact that I bring in treats for the staff when I’m doing my Making Things binges. A couple of places I put down “Meets Expectations” got summarily changed to “Exceeds Expectations”, which was the overall ‘score’, if you like, of my appraisal. Which ... I mean, hey. I try. It’s nice to know that I’m doing as well as I generally want to be.

(I did bring up Temp’s tendency to try to skip the long typing as much as possible. I also flagged up that I didn’t mind that much now that I’m in a better ergonomic environment and not having to commute, because typing the long ones hurts and can sometimes be the straw that broke the camel’s back in that sort of situation, but that it was just annoying. Dunno what comes of that but at least it’s said.)

Also spoke about upcoming bus strike issues (every Thursday for the next month). The conclusion we’ve generally come to is “Unless there’s massive sickness and we need someone for the phones, I’m happy for you to just stay home”. So I’m going to text on the affected Thursdays to see if he needs me and if he doesn’t, I will stay home. Flexibility is apparently just another perk of being good at my job ... and I honestly think he’s noticed that I actually do work better at home, at least in terms of volume.

Meeting ended with a fistbump ... which I had to be careful about because apparently I now have dyshidrotic eczema, particularly on the right hand. Not the usual part of the fist that gets bumped, but still. Then a little more typing and I headed for home ... via the big Tesco, but that’s because I am a masochist. Well, also because I wanted and needed a few things. Apples and peaches for the dehydrator, because I’m about to have a week off and healthy snacks are A Thing. Dill and cucumbers for the refrigerator dill pickles, ditto. Butter for various bits of cookery that I’ll work on tomorrow because some of it’s gifts. Sellotape because I’d rather buy it and not need it than get home and realise I don’t have any and have to go out on Christmas fucking Eve. And a steak for me because I damn well earned one.

So now I’ve got cinnamon sugar apple chips a-dehydrating, cucumber spears (and one jar of slices) are soaking up nice dill brine, and I should go to bed but various of my glorious friends threw video games at my head for Christmas. I mean, I threw video games at theirs too but that’s beside the point. The point is that I have a ... very varied selection of video games to play now. Though given that I still hurt like hell and it’s late, probably best not to start on anything new.

Anyway, I have the whole upcoming week. I told Milady on my way out that my plans for the holidays involved, barring visiting the parentals for Christmas dinner and the occasional trip to the corner shop, just not leaving the house. She asked if that was desirable. I said, “I have new video games”. And that’s before I got PowerWash Simulator and both Shadows Over Loathing and West of Loathing thrown at my head. So ... yeah. Those, Munchkin Digital, and A Plague Tale: Innocence (I’m not normally very good at those kinds of games but I didn’t think I’d be any good at Horizon: Zero Dawn either, so there you go). Plus whatever I pick up in the Steam holiday sale with or without Steam gift cards from the parentals. Sometimes you just have to add to the Big List of Games I Need To Play, I guess?

Last thing: there is little in this world more satisfying as looking at your alarm ... and turning it off because you won’t need it for more than a week. (Also somebody please remind me that I have two weeks of annual leave I still need to book.)

[inevesgf]

hi there!! :) love your fics!! could you do one soulmates!au with charles where you two keep meeting/bumping into each other? i think it's super cute and super cliché 😭

ACCIDENTAL INTERACTIONS

in which you and charles can’t stop running into each other after one minor incident — wrote by inevesgf.

content + warnings: fem!reader x charles leclerc, no use of yn, few self esteem jokes, straight fluff with some lovesick fucks. reader is so lovesick by laufey core in this.

masterlist + requesting rules.

as the days of your life went on, things would always come back to haunt you. it was like a plague. bad memories, things that reminded you of times you shouldn’t think about; it was the bane of your existence. usually things that came back to haunt you weren’t all that pretty. an ex, an embarrassing photo from when you were younger – but this was different. he was different. 

the only haunting thing about him was his beauty. he had the most beautiful green eyes, paired with his swooping hair that could only be compared to the ocean waves. he was a stranger, maybe even a stalker at that. or maybe, in some odd, fucked up way, the universe had forcefully pulled you two together for a reason.

it started on a gloomy sunday morning, the overcast sky hiding the sun away under the dark clouds as you walked through the streets of monaco. though sunday was a reset day – a day to wind down – you still had a never ending amount of work to attend to back at your apartment. you were in desperately need of a pick-me-up, but in your luck, you couldn’t have got something worse.

you strolled into one of the local cafes – the beanhouse – walking over to the barista who’s eyes lit up as she saw you. “it’s been awhile.” the barista you came to learn who’s name was aspen added – you couldn’t fathom how she could be so happy on a gloomy day like this. “yeah – just been out of the country for some business trips, nothing too exciting.” you laughed softly, your eyes coming to scan the overhead menu even though you already knew what you wanted. “the usual or are you switching it up today?” aspen questioned, her manicured nails resting on the screen of the till as she waited for a response. “the usual – of course.” you smiled softly, a small sigh escaping your lips.

you dreaded the day ahead of you – the routine had come to bore you. you’d tell yourself it’s your day off, you’d make plans with friends, and then a turn of events would get in the way when you realized you had more reports due the following week.. you liked your job – you didn’t love it – but you supposed it was good enough as it gave you the chance to live in the beautiful country of monaco. 

you stepped to the side, changing the music in your headphones to something more mood-appropriate as you waited for you coffee. you observed the people around you, their smiling, bright faces making you cringe. you felt anything but happy that morning, the hustle and bustle of the coffee shop somehow making you feel worse.

you were snapped out of your daze when someone bumped into you, sending you a step backwards as a gasp fell out of your mouth. some fucking bastard had spilled his coffee all over you and you now stood with a scowl on your face, your grey sweater now stained with the liquid. “fuck, i am so sorry–” a mans voice spoke quickly, sucking you out of your trance. “it’s fine, it’s fine.” you muttered, though you knew that put a damper on your mood even more than the workload for today had.

“let me grab some napkins.” the voice sounded panicked and you now finally got a good look at him. god, you would have thought he was handsome if he didn’t just ruin your favorite sweater. “i said it’s fine–” your voice came off a little more aggressive than it should have, a small scowl still remaining on your face. to your dismay, the man continued to usher over to the counter, grabbing some napkins before nervously shoving them in your hand.

“did you already order? i’ll pay – i am so so sorry.” the man apologized once more, his green eyes looking down at you with sympathy glazing over his pupils. “i already paid, it’s okay.” you spoke softer this time, a large exhale escaping your lips as you dabbed some of the napkins on your sweater. “how much was it? i got.” he spoke quickly, digging into his pockets for his wallet. you wanted to conversation to end, but it seemed like he wasn’t backing down. “no – it’s fine – really.” you spoke insistently, trying your hardest to get him out of the way so you could just grab your coffee and leave.

the man let out a sigh of defeat, putting his wallet back into the pocket of his jeans. “are you sure?” he asked softly, his eyes still glazed with the same look of sympathy. the only thing that stopped you from staring at him was aspen calling your name, signaling your order was ready. “i’m sure, have a good day.” you spoke calmly, walking towards the counter. 

it was a meaningless interaction. sure, it upset you more than you’d like to admit, but you didn’t know this wouldn’t be the last time the boy from the coffee shop would haunt you like a ghost.

the next time was when you were at the dog park, letting your happy golden retriever run around as you threw the ball for him to fetch. it was another sunday – another day off – but this time you were finally able to have your you-time. 

you laughed as you watched your dog run over to a smaller dog, greeting him with the most gentle of sniffs, his tail wagging back and forth. “c’mere, jasper!” you called out, a smile on your face as you approached your dog alongside the small dachshund he had seemingly befriended. “aww, you’re cute,” you cooed, bending down beside the small dog to pet it gently. “what’s your name?” you asked, obviously not expecting an answer from the dog after all – you were keen on talking to yourself.

“leo.” a man spoke up, making you jump a little as you stood up. and there he was in all his glory:  coffee shop boy. you prayed he didn’t recognize you, wishing and hoping he wouldn’t make this more awkward than it already seemed to be. “that’s a cute name. hi, leo.” you whispered softly down at the dog, returning your gaze back to the man with a small smile. “and what might his owner’s name be?” you found yourself asking, even if at the moment you had barely any interest in finding out. 

“i’m charles, nice to meet you.” the man – charles – held out his hand for you to shake and hastily you held out yours, shaking it softly as you told him your name. “nice to meet you too.” you hummed, the feeling of his warm hand on yours seemingly distracting you for a moment before you pulled away. “you live around here?” charles asked. fuck, you wanted to die. oh, if he recognized you, you swore you’d run away in embarrassment. “yeah – monte carlo area. originally from italy, though.” you responded hesitantly, looking into his eyes in hopes not to see a light bulb light up in his head. “me too – not from italy – but monte carlo.” his tone seemed nervous, you were aware he knew you were the mean bitch he spilled his coffee on.

“is this your dog?” charles asked, trying to steer the conversation in a less awkward direction. “mhm, this is jasper.” you smiled softly, mentally thanking god – if he was up there – that charles didn’t say anything. charles kneeled down in front of you, reaching his hand out to pet jasper over his nose. “he’s such a cutie.” just like his owner. you made up the last part – it was what you wished he said after all. then right after, you mentally scolded yourself for being so dumb. in the end, he was a stranger, one who spilled his coffee on you weeks prior – one who had spoiled your day.

you had to admit to yourself, charles was quite handsome. his green eyes paired with the small freckles that decorated his cheeks was a sight for sore eyes, and once again you found yourself staring. “uh – yeah. isn’t he?” you laughed, pulling your eyes away from admiring the dashing stranger even more than you were already. it was stupid how you were basically eye-fucking him – someone you had just properly met. 

“for sure.” charles hummed, a smile decorating his face as he stood back up. it was almost like god had answered your prayers too late as charles phone started to ring, pulling it out of his pocket as he turned back to look at you once more. “i gotta go – hope to see you again.” he smiled, bringing the phone to his ear. “yeah, nice meeting you.” you spoke softly, left dumbfounded by the conversation as he walked away.

unfortunately – or maybe not – this wasn’t even the last time you’d encounter charles. it was almost like he was stalking you; how weird it was that he had showed up at the most random times at the most random places. you didn’t find yourself complaining though. it was like something gravitated you toward him – a fucked up part of you that begged to know more.

it was a thursday now, a quiet and easy one at that, which made you made you think it was the calm before the storm. work had cooled down, you finally weren’t stressed with anything else; it was blissfully unreal.

 the history of monaco was beautiful, and on that free thursday afternoon, you found yourself at the museum of prehistoric anthropology. though your priorities didn’t lie within anything historical, your mind was captivated by the idea of the study. 

you found yourself stood in front of a reconstruction of mammoth bones, the tall structure before you quite intimidating to your small stature. you glanced up at it, taking note of all the small detail, each bone intricately placed to display to museums go-ers what the being had looked like. your eyes danced around it, staring at it like it would change in a matter of seconds.

“fascinating, isn’t it?” a voice interrupted behind you, and when you realized it was charles, you found yourself gasping slightly. “are you stalking me?” you asked – not in an offended tone – but a teasing one. “maybe.” charles joked back, leaning on the guard rail of the exhibit next to you as he looked over in your direction. “we just keep meeting, don’t we?” he asked, a small chuckle escaping his lips as he did, “first the coffee shop, then the dog park, now at a museum–” “you remember the coffee shop?” you questioned, interrupting his words.

your mind was in a daze that day, of course you’d come to ask stupid questions. you started to mentally scold yourself before he answered, “yeah — i am so sorry about that, by the way. my mind was just all over the place, i wasn’t watching where i was going.” the same look of sympathy from a few weeks ago marked his face, causing you to nervously shift in your place. “no — it’s fine. i’m sorry for being, well, a bitch to put it simply. just wasn’t having a good day.” you laughed softly to yourself, pulling on the cuffs of your sweater as if your skin was about to jump off your bones.  “you weren’t a bitch. i get it — a guy spills his coffee on you and you get a bit upset. it’s a normal human interaction.” charles responded, nodding his head in understanding.

he understood your attitude, and his dismissal of your all-too-mean tone that day made you smile softly. “yeah — still sorry.” you muttered, another small laugh escaping your lip-sticked lips. “don’t worry,” charles dismissed, “so — why a museum?” he questioned, keeping the conversation going which you didn’t mind this time. “don’t know — just find this stuff interesting is all. had a free day from work so i decided broadening myself on monaco’s prehistoric history would be fun,” you spoke, sort of cringing at the words that fell from your mouth. “what about you?” charles waited a bit before he answered, formulating a response that seemed fit for him. “me too — don’t know. just needed to clear my head, i guess.” he chuckled again, his eyes looking over to scan the exhibit in front of him.

god, he was gorgeous. charles could have told you he was a model and you’d believe him – his dashingly good looks and his beautifully-messy hair laid oddly perfect even though it seemed to curl in every direction. “i get that. it’s calm here — makes for a good self care day.” you hummed, agreeing with his words as you finally took your wandering gazes off of his body and onto the exhibit where they should have been all along.

 “i owe you.” charles blurted out, your eyes darting back to him at his quick words. he owed you? what could he possibly owe you for? “for the coffee shop incident.” oh. “no no — it’s fine. i already told you i don’t need your money. thank you, but it’s no issue.” you nodded, trying to get him to drop it and spare you of your embarrassment. charles responded, an insistent look on his face, “just let me take you out to dinner.” oh god, you thought you were dreaming. a cute boy — maybe even a bit of a foolish one — asking you on a date? of course, it wasn’t really a date, but it was the thought that counted.

“please.” his begging tickled your ears, a small blush forming to your cheeks that you tried your hardest to hide when you turned your face away. “fine, okay, but you don’t need to.” you spoke softly, your eyes locking onto his green ones. it felt like you had known him before — in a past life or something — even if the thought sounded pathetic. “here – give me your phone. i’ll put my number in and then we can find a time and place that works, yeah?” charles proposed, causing you to nod and reach for your phone in the pocket of your jeans. you unlocked it, handing it over to him with a small, toothless grin on your face. charles typed in his number, sending himself a quick ‘hi’ before he handed it back to you. “i’ll see you for dinner then. good bye.” and just like that, charles spun on his heels, a shit eating grin on his face as he walked away.

once again, you were left dumbfounded, clutching your phone in your hand as you looked down at it. your eyes only widened once you scanned the screen, the contact name he had typed in catching your eye that then sent a shiver down your spine – ‘cute coffee shop boy ♡’.

and again – it wasn’t the last time you had ran into charles, the next time on purpose as you had spent what seemed like hours getting prepared for your date. you wouldn’t have confidently called it a date if it wasn’t for charles shameless flirting in your text messages, making you blush brightly even behind a screen.

you had to admit – you already liked charles. there was just something about his bright eyes, his alluring personality, that pulled you in and seemingly had you sinking like an anchor in the ocean. charles was a romantic – a flirt – and you knew that from the second he had proposed to the two of you going to one of the most expensive restaurants in monaco. it came as a shock to you, but you weren’t complaining – a nice meal with a cute boy sounded like the closest thing to heaven on earth.

it was seven pm, the sunset dancing on the horizon as charles drove you in his black ferrari to the restaurant. you didn’t expect him to show up in such an expensive car – it was monaco, you probably should have – and god, was it so sexy. “you look beautiful, by the way.” charles hummed softly, looking over at you for a split second as he drove, navigating the narrow streets of monaco. “thank you,” you responded softly, a pink tint going to your face, “and you don’t look too bad yourself.” charles laughed at your words, tutting the steering wheel with his fingers as you two pulled in the parking area of the restaurant. “i’ll take ‘don’t look too bad’.” he laughed, unbuckling himself before quickly ushering over to your side of the jet black ferrari.

oh, he was a gentleman – a handsome one at that; you couldn’t shake that thought if you tried. it plagued your mind like an infection, quite like charles had since the day you met him. “thank you, monsieur.” you teased, curtsying as you stepped outside of the vehicle, adjusting down the hem on your black dress. you swore charles was staring at you, his eyes dancing, taking in every curve of your body — your hair, your face. there was a long pause before he spoke, a small laugh escaping your lips as you noticed his admiring gaze.

 “you look beautiful.” charles repeated again, his voice seemingly out of breath as if you had taken it away. fuck, you felt like an idiot, blushing like a maniac at the smallest of compliments. charles seemed to be affected by your presence, the breathy air of his words giving you that odd feeling again. it was like it was meant to be. then you felt stupid once more, mentally slapping yourself to saturn for gushing over his every move like a schoolgirl with a crush. it was pathetic, but god, something about him felt so right.

it was hard to fathom that your dinner was real when the charming prince of your dreams sat in front of you – a napkin laid over lips lap, a soft, small smile decorating his lips the whole time. you felt comfortable with him as if you had known him your whole life; maybe your souls were interlinked, even if the idea sounded quite pathetic. the two of you got to know each other, talking about your job, each other's childhoods – god, he could make a dull conversation sound like the most interesting thing.

“i feel like i’ve known you my whole life.” charles muttered, looking over to you as your eyes scanned the bright night lights of monte carlo. it was days later, the two of you finding yourself sat a top the highest hill, looking over the city. it was quite romantic: the two of you sat on a picnic blanket, a bottle of some wine sitting next to you, his body inches away from yours. 

“i know,” you agreed, “feels like we kept running into each other for a reason.” it sounded stupid, but ever since your second interaction you found yourself looking deeper into the tiniest of things. the way he smiled as you two talked at the dog park, the way he said he hoped he’d see you again — it was all seemingly too perfect.

“i really like you.” charles found himself muttering again, his eyes now flashing over to look at you, a tinge of confidence decorating them. you wanted to laugh at his words, but your body seemingly froze in fear as a mix of excitement pushed through.

his confession had your blood rushing, a red tint going to your cheeks as you adjusted your position. you liked him too — maybe more than you liked anyone before — but was it too soon to agree?

“i like you too.” fuck it, it wasn’t. you smiled softly, the same red hue still decorating your cheeks as your eyes locked onto him. he flashed you a smile, his shoulders moving up and down as he tried to regain his composure, to catch his breath.

“i’m glad i met you — even if i spilled my coffee on you.” charles laughed, scooting a bit closer, your shoulders now rubbing against one anothers. the small gesture made your breath catch in your throat, yet you didn’t want him to move – you wanted to stay like that forever. 

“i want you to be my girlfriend.” charles spoke quickly, almost as if he was trying to ward off the embarrassment of his proposal as fast as possible. his words came off shaky, the fear of rejection seemingly plaguing his mind. “if you’ll have me.” he added. his prior words made you want to jump out of your skin – yet not in a bad way – the red hue of excitement still dancing on your face. 

everything seemed too good to be true in that moment, his confession causing you to question whether you were awake or just dreaming. you felt like a princess, one who had been trapped in the cage of her mind this whole time – now her handsome prince had finally come to save her.

“i want you to be my boyfriend.” it was a soft agreement, one that fell from your lips so easily, yet so genuine. charles now wanted to leap from his skin, the hue of his cheeks mimicking yours as a smile decorated his face. you swore you had never seen a more happy man in your life, the expression on his face radiating of consolation.

“boyfriend and girlfriend – sounds perfect.” charles hummed, laughing softly as his anxiety wafted from his body like a leaf floating in the wind. “you’re amazing.” he murmured, the smile on your face only growing. the night went on lazily, the two of you holding on to each other as the cool breeze of monaco’s autumn danced around the air. now it truly was perfect. even if he had spilled his coffee on you, even if he had been so foolish – he was finally yours. now a ghost of a man that once plagued your mind had turned into a spirit you had invited in, and you couldn’t help but hope his company would last a lifetime.

thank you soo much for this request! i loved writing it soo much. and of course, thank you to @emchante for proof reading and giving me ideas as always mmwahh <3 rq are still open, lovelies, keep 'em coming!