#would be kinda funny if it's not even a bishop though

[accirax]

Chessgram Theory: Who is Kotoko Breaking?

While the object Kotoko is breaking in Deep Cover’s thumbnail is still certainly up for debate, many people (including myself) are of the belief that she’s snapped a white bishop from the game of chess. Given where Kotoko’s mental state is right now and what’s implied by the lyrics of Deep Cover, I think it’s likely that this MV’s theme will depict all of the prisoners as different chess pieces. Therefore, it’s worth asking: who is that? And, in a larger sense, which prisoners could be represented by which chess pieces?

Kotoko pretty clearly sees her situation as her and Es against the rest of the prison. So, I think that the characters would be divided as Kotoko and Es on one team, and everyone from 01-09 on the other. Kotoko is wearing black and appears to be breaking a white piece, so it’s pretty safe to assume that she and Es would be represented by the black pieces. It’s an interesting choice, given that, even to a non-Western audience, black can be considered a color of evil, and white a color of purity and truth. However, if the Es/Kotoko team is “mystery and anger” and the 01-09 team is “cold demeanors and death,” it fits well enough.

And that’s ignoring the most important part: in chess, the white team always moves first. This would fit with Kotoko’s vigilante worldview that everything she does is just a retaliation against others’ wrongdoing. The other characters attack first by sinning, and Kotoko is only picking them off before they can do any real damage to Team Warden.

Anyways, as for the pieces themselves, different websites seem to have slightly different opinions on what each piece can represent, with some obvious throughlines. I’ll be pulling quotes from these three articles, color coded according to which one is being used, which you can read more of if you wish. I’m also not a chess expert, so if I’m missing anything or got something wrong, I encourage you to add any of your own thoughts!

We’ll start with the Black Team, because there are fewer characters and I think it’s pretty obvious who’s who.

Kotoko Yuzuriha

Kotoko herself will probably be the black Queen. As anyone who’s played chess should know, your Queen is the most powerful piece in your arsenal because it can move on straights or diagonals for any distance.

The queen is our impulse to fight and possibly our id. It can argue based on beliefs. It can let loose and fight like a rook. It has no reason to hold back as a knight does and will often attack to the other side of the board just because it wants to.

This hyper-violent description of the Queen reminds me a lot of Kotoko. She attacks the other prisoners because, according to her beliefs, they’re criminals who deserve to be punished. Not to mention, the “id” is actually the same thing as the “es” in psychology. After we voted her innocent in the first trial, Kotoko became our teammate. She thinks that she’s the same as Es, so seeing herself as the “id” would fit perfectly with that self-assessment. Speaking of Es…

Es (and Jackalope?)

Es is most likely going to be the black King.

The king is not as powerful as the queen, but he is considered the most important piece that needs the most protection.

Even if Kotoko has more power than Es inside the prison, Es is still the one ultimately calling the shots. They’re the important piece who actually casts the votes that Kotoko can use to exact justice. The way that Es falls asleep between trials (or, at least, they did the first time) also reminds me of how the king can only move one space per turn, and often remains in the same square until closer to the end of the game.

The meaning of the Queen in the game of chess is she is plainly the closest support to the King and is often the second biggest (tallest) piece on the board, signifying her power and importance.

Es and Kotoko being the King and Queen together also opens them up to being assessed as a pair. They start the game next to each other, far across the board from the white pieces. If Es is the tallest, most notable piece in the prison, Kotoko isn’t far behind, acting as the King’s loyal fang.

I don’t know if any of the other pieces on the black team would have any sort of particular association. Maybe Jackalope could be the pawn that starts in front of the King (I think that’s the E pawn), so that he could hop out of the way on black’s first move to allow Kotoko to escape on a diagonal?

If I’m right about this theming, I also believe it’s possible that the black team would start only with the King and Queen. This would 1) make Kotoko and Es appear as rootable underdogs by having fewer pieces, 2) show how Kotoko is doing all of the work to defend justice, and 3) give Kotoko a lot of space to move around in from the start.

Now that we’re done with the black team, it’s time for the 01-09 White Team! Given that this side has many more main characters, there are several more possibilities to discuss here. I’ve settled on an answer for each of the prisoners, but there’s certainly room to be flexible with any of them.

Haruka Sakurai

Starting with Haruka… sorry, buddy, but I think you’re a Pawn.

Look, there are only eight pieces (not pawns) for each team on the board. If there are nine prisoners on the white team, at least one of them has to be a Pawn. And, especially through Kotoko’s account of the first Trial, Haruka wasn’t doing a whole lot. He didn’t get voted guilty, so she didn’t attack him, and he didn’t try to save any of the attacked prisoners, either. All he really did was get a new fit and align himself with Mu, someone who barely avoided being voted guilty in the first place.

There is a debate about whether the pawns are the peasants who live outside of the castle walls or are the soldiers protecting the royal court behind them.

Specifically, though, I think that Haruka would be the pawn that stands in front of Mu. Depending on which piece Mu is, it doesn’t have to work like this, but if you say that Pawn Haruka’s placement is basically a “if you want to attack her, you’ll have to get through me first,” that’s quite reminiscent of the threat he presented in his second audio drama.

Haruka also makes sense as a Pawn because he has a lot of potential. For anyone who doesn’t know, in chess, if a Pawn manages to make it to the other side of the board, they can transform into any other piece. Haruka’s quiet demeanor might let him slip under the radar, but if Kotoko takes her eye off of him for too long, he could wind up becoming a threat to the King (Es).

Haruka (VD2): “If you don’t forgive Mu-san, I’m going to kill you.”

In the audio drama, Es counters this plan by pointing out that, as a prisoner, Haruka cannot attack them. However, the sentiment is still there. Even if a Pawn doesn’t really stand a chance of attacking the King when Queen Kotoko is on the loose, there’s always the possibility that he could get too close and throw a wrench into Kotoko’s plans.

Yuno Kashiki

As for Yuno… well, we all know that she’s a Queen in general, but in chess, I don’t think that argument really holds up. Yuno really just isn’t… relevant? enough? to the conflicts of the prison as a whole (at least where Kotoko is involved) to be represented by such an important piece. But, if Yuno isn’t the Queen, what would she be…?

Personally, I think she would be a Rook.

The rook is brute force. It is a disregard to beliefs.

Simply put, Yuno is a Rook because she’s a pretty straightforward person. That’s not to say that she doesn’t lie, of course– her whole t1 attitude seems to have been a bit of an act, and that one section in the middle of Tear Drop makes it pretty obvious that Yuno conceals her true feelings on order to better please her customers sometimes– but that, in the end, Yuno always does what she wants. If she wants to barge forward or cut across the entire board sideways, she’ll do it. She often keeps to herself, just like how enemy pieces wouldn’t want to get directly in front of the Rook for fear of being curb stomped.

Back to her t1 attitude, though…

The rook is the castle, the walls, the protectorate of the city, and in being so, is the only piece not representative of a living thing.

While most sources attribute the Rook’s walls to protecting the other important pieces, Yuno’s walls protect herself. Yuno’s Castle keeps her true self locked behind cold and stony walls, giving her freedom from making any attachments.

Futa Kajiyama

Futa is a Knight because… he’s, uh, literally a knight.

The knight pieces are the protective knights in the castle. The pieces are shaped like a horse because it is symbolic of what knights rode during battle.

It doesn’t always have to be that deep. (/j)

Actually, though, there are other reasons to call Futa the Knight– possibly some of the same reasons why the Milgram creative team decided to make one of his MVs themed after fantasy RPGs in the first place.

The knight represents the pure inner-warrior. If a knight starts out passive, it will always end up aggressive and vice versa. It can't move very far, but it never moves in a straight line, always preferring to be tactical and thoughtful.

Futa definitely seems to cycle between aggressive and passive. He passively lived his life as a regular guy until he unleashed his aggression and became a cyberbully. That aggression fueled him until he learned of his victim’s death, at which point he shut down and seemed to become more passive and introspective again. Arriving in Milgram triggered his aggressive tendencies, but getting voted guilty and losing an eye for it triggered his passive terror. At the time of his second audio drama, it seems like he’s returned to aggressively questioning Es again, and it remains to be seen whether he keeps that attitude into t3 or if something happens that once again makes him lose his footing (or die).

Mu Kusunoki

Much like Yuno, Mu also has an argument for being called the Queen– more so than Yuno, considering her strong Queen Bee coding in It’s Not My Fault and the titles of both of her audio dramas– but also falls short in the “being opposed to Kotoko” department. Although Haruka certainly looks to her for leadership, I can’t imagine Kotoko actually considering Mu a serious enough threat to put Mu on the same level as herself.

So again, like Yuno, I think Mu might be the other Rook. Mu also displayed a very “whatever I say goes” attitude in INMF, so she can share the same rhetoric behind Yuno being represented by that piece. The logic behind the castle aspect is slightly different, though.

Every country or medieval estate would have its royalty who were protected within the walled city or castle.

Mu is a rich, half-European girl whose dad sells real estate. Of course she would be represented by the Castle! Mu’s tactics involve consolidating her power in order to lead from a place above it all, exactly like how a castle looks over the rest of the village. Additionally, I can’t find the source of whoever pointed it out first, but I’ve seen it mentioned that the dress Mu wears in her birthday art is a reference to the one that Belle wears in Disney’s interpretation of Beauty and the Beast. It’s a fairytale with a princess (and perhaps someday, a queen), yes, but it’s specifically one where the heroine is trapped within a castle. Making Mu into a Rook would be a great way to keep up her royal theming, while leaving the Queen for a character a bit more powerful and relevant to Kotoko.

(Going back to Haruka for a moment, this would make him specifically the A or H pawn.)

Shidou Kirisaki

I really thought that Shidou might have more competition for the role of King, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that nobody fit the role quite as well as he did.

Shidou is the perfect balance of a piece who’s very problematic for Kotoko’s win condition, while also not being much of an active threat himself. There are very low odds that Shidou would ever actually try to harm Kotoko directly or get in her way to divert an attack. However, as long as he’s alive, Kotoko can’t win, because Shidou can keep attempting to heal all of the pieces Kotoko tries to eliminate. That’s not something that the King piece can actually do in a chess game, but hopefully you get my point.

Additionally, Triage let us know that Shidou is a family man. While the white Queen will obviously not be representative of Shidou’s deceased wife, and not every other prisoner would enjoy living under his reign (cough cough Amane), the optics of him being the “head of the family” are obviously there. It’s a pretty bad look if the white King starts the game by pleading with the black King to give him the death penalty, but… Well, at least Shidou changed his mind.

Mahiru Shiina

Not to answer the theory’s main question so early into the post, but… I think Mahiru is a white Bishop. Specifically, the one that Kotoko could be snapping in half in the thumbnail.

As far as I can remember, barring Undercover, Milgram’s MVs have only shown us things that have happened in the past. There are some things that could kind of hint at the future (like Shidou’s “So hey, prolong my life / I’m indispensable” in Triage) or depict prisoner’s fears of the future (like Futa potentially being afraid that Es could declare him guilty again at the end of Backdraft). But, I think that every instance of something like that happening could be explained as something that the character did or thought about in the past as well. That might be wrong, as I don’t want to take the time to write out how everything that appears like it could be in the future is actually in the past, but it sounds right to my memory.

My point being, while the snapped bishop could be indicative of Kotoko’s plans to crush someone in the future, if the chess pieces do represent characters, it makes far more sense if her smashing the white bishop is something that already happened in the past. Thus, it would probably be one of the three characters that Kotoko attacked in the past: Futa, Mahiru, or Mikoto.

Of the three options, I think Mahiru fits the role of bishop best.

The bishop is your belief structure. This is why a bishop that starts on white, will always be on white and vice versa for the black bishop.

While not a particularly religious person, Mahiru is someone who lives and dies based on her beliefs about the value of love. No matter what happens to her, she always keeps her same perspective, believing that love is the entirety of who she is and the only thing that’s worth living for. It’s how firmly she clung to those beliefs that sent her to Milgram, and her lack of awareness regarding her actions that got her voted guilty. AKA, Mahiru’s Bishop-like beliefs are exactly what sent her to be crushed in Kotoko’s palm.

To the extent that the blood in the thumbnail is the Bishop’s and not Kotoko’s, Mahiru was also the most grievously injured of the prisoners in between trials. I saw people joking that the thing Kotoko was crushing was “Mahiru’s bones,” and, like… maybe you’re not entirely wrong? 

I hope that you continue reading the post to hear my thoughts on the last three prisoners. But, if you are tapping out here… uhhhh, 0610 enjoyers, go crazy with this one.

Kazui Mukuhara

When I started theorizing for this post, I really thought that I was going to make Kazui the Queen to Shidou’s King. The two of them are pretty close, so the idea of Kazui being Shidou’s guardian makes total sense. And, most importantly, Kazui was the one to actually intercept and divert Kotoko’s attack on Futa. He’s been established as the most muscular prisoner in Milgram, on par with someone like Kotoko, which is perfect for him being the Queen!

Wellllll… I changed my mind and decided to make Kazui a Knight anyway.

There are a lot of good arguments for Kazui being a knight too, okay? After Cat, it’s pretty clear that Kazui was once a police officer. Thus, being a member of the castle guard would be a good match for his choice of career. They’re also probably the most traditionally “manly” piece, representative of an armed man on a horse, and Kazui tries very hard to be manly.

Knights can also hop over other pieces, much like how Kazui jumped into the fight between Kotoko and Futa. In fact…

Never underestimate [the Knight] for its limited range. It’s known as the "Queen Killer" for a reason!

Knights are often a good piece to use to attack Queens because of their unique L-shaped movement pattern. Unlike every other piece, they can attack the Queen from a position that can’t be immediately reversed upon them. Thus, Kazui’s ability to beat Kotoko could be an indicator of this “Queen Killer” quality, instead of the innate power of being a Queen himself. (This logic applies to Futa as well: he can attack Kotoko from the unique angle of appealing to Es’ morals and own sense of justice. Kotoko can’t do the same because, unlike Futa, she has yet to outwardly acknowledge that her murder could have been anything less than righteous.)

Also… the Knight is the only piece that doesn’t move in a straight line. Get it? The Knight doesn’t move straight? And that represents Kazui? Because Kazui is–

Amane Momose

Amane is the other Bishop because… religion.

The bishop stands close to the king and queen because it represents the church which many royal courts held near and dear to their hearts.

The Bishop represents the church, an important and very powerful entity throughout history and even today if you think about it.

Again, not everything has to be a reach. (/j)

So… yeah, Amane’s beliefs– specifically religious beliefs, this time– are also a huge part of her life. Even if she’s changed what the cult’s doctrine means to her, she still confesses that she carried out her murders for the sake of what her religion considers right and wrong.

This is also considered the third most powerful piece on the chessboard because back in the day religion could influence many people, even without the help of the royal family.

Not so much for Mahiru, but this sentiment also fits Amane pretty well! Between the threats of potential conversions and potential assassinations, Amane was definitely one of the prisoners to watch heading into t2. From what I’ve heard, the main reason why her vote was so down to the wire was mostly because people were afraid of the power that Amane held.

Interestingly, this would put another prisoner who was voted guilty in contention for the piece that Kotoko is crushing. However, I still think it’s more likely that that piece would be Mahiru, because Kotoko didn’t physically attack Amane. If it were Amane, it would more likely be that her beliefs were crushed as opposed to her bones, but… I don’t really think that really happened, either. Amane would almost certainly be a bishop, though, so there’s certainly a possibility that that broken piece could be her.

Mikoto/John Kayano

With only one prisoner left to go, you may have already come to the conclusion that Mikoto is the white Queen. And… yeah, I can’t really deny that at this point. Like I said, I wanted to make Kazui the Queen, but I couldn’t otherwise figure out what Mikoto would be.

Because, there’s one main thing that makes me think that Mikoto has to be the Queen… John’s lack of restraints.

She is allowed to move in any direction and in as many squares as she wants.

Due to the whole situation with John not technically being a prisoner, when John is the alter in charge, John cannot be restrained, even when voted guilty. That makes him very powerful; no matter what he does, we can’t use a guilty vote to try to stop him, much like many people hoped to do with Haruka when voting him guilty in t2. The Queen can visit any square, no matter whether it’s black or white, upright or reversed, Mikoto or John. Choosing any other piece that was constrained to a much more limited set of movement rules just felt off for him.

Next, while Kazui was able to defeat Kotoko and save Futa, the fight between John and Kotoko was a draw. That means that they are also evenly matched– perfect for both being the same kind of piece. Mikoto isn’t as close to Shidou as Kazui is (anymore, I think?), but they were at least smoking club buddies, so calling Mikoto the Queen to Shidou’s King isn’t the most ridiculous proposition.

Finally, making Mikoto the Queen, a very feminine piece, is super interesting in the context of people discussing how Mikoto is often associated with stereotypically feminine roles and the girl prisoners (oboetemasuka | candckirby | purgemarchlockdown). I don’t have a whole lot else to say on this matter considering these weren’t points of Mikoto’s characterization I originally noticed myself, but I encourage you to read these posts to get a taste of what I’m talking about. I’m sure there were other posts discussing it too, but… it’s so hard to find things on Tumblr ;-;

Conclusion

Finally, we’ve been through every prisoner! Here’s a summary of what I decided on (left or right side doesn’t matter):

The funny thing about this theory is that it could be fully disproven wrong in, like, a week, if either 1) that wasn’t a chess piece at all, or 2) the chess pieces obviously represent something else. For instance, the chess board could fully relate to, you know, Kotoko’s actual murder and not what she got up to in between trials. We are supposed to get more actual evidence regarding that too, aren’t we…?

Still, if it turns out that the chess board does represent Milgram, I will get the full satisfaction of having called it ahead of time, even if my assignments aren’t 100% correct. No matter what, I had fun thinking about it, which is (in my opinion) the highlight of theorizing! If you have anything else to add, I encourage you to communicate your thoughts in comments, tags, or reblogs. If you don’t, then I simply thank you for reading this far!

Deep Cover… soon.

[callmearcturus]

aw yeah lets do this

S-Tier, AKA the Legitimately Good Tier:

HAWKEYE: Maybe my favorite MCU thing I have ever watched.

+ If you let Jeremy Renner actually act and give him a script, he's fucking great. + Kate Bishop is a perfect mess and I love her, I love she's young and excitable but also takes things seriously, she feels like she's a work in progress, I love her. + MAYA. Holy shit the gravity well of this character, how her presence dictates any scene she is in. Truly stellar. + This entire miniseries is like an extended apology for Hawkeye in every other appearance. "Sorry we dropped the ball with this character so consistently, we will bring the A game here." + The importance of disability. I'm among the ppl who was upset that Hawkeye's disability was dropped, so the way it is centered over and over and over in this, how its practical, how it's funny, how it's sad, how it gives us the most devastatingly emotional scene in all of the MCU yes I am talking about the phone call scene, finally. Fucking finally. + Florence fucking Pugh and her entire charm offensive. + The car chase scene.

- The first episode is unfortunately REALLY slow. - Nah that's all I got. I love this one.

THOR: RAGNAROK

+ "Asgard isn't a place, it's a people" is maybe the most poignant message any MCU film has ever managed. + Literally the funniest movie, but also basically a repair job of character building for everyone in it. + The camerawork in this one makes me so happy. + Tom Hiddleston is given so much to do and he's there with heels on, spectacular. + The giant turret/pegging visual pun, god bless. + Cate Blanchett can kill me.

- uuuuuuuuh. It's not as good as Hawkeye. Yeah.

GOTG Vol 2

+ Sorry but I am a GOTG Truther, I really do think its the one storyline in the MCU that is allowed to get away with really fucking intense character drama because it's not considered "main line." There is a reason ppl rioted when they tried to remove Gunn, and I'm with them. + The only good thing Chris Pratt has done since Parks and Rec. + The way this storyline centers on death and grief is devastating. + Rocket Racoon is the best character in the MCU and we all know it.

- I think the initial treatment of Mantis is REALLY rough even though in the end I think it works, but that's a hell of a hump to get over.

A-TIER, AKA the Great for a MCU Flick Tier:

BLACK PANTHER

+ My biggest problem with the MCU is the creative desert of its set and costume design, the way it feels like nothing is given time to breathe in the creative process. BP is the antithesis of that. I would watch a four hour documentary just on the visual design of this movie, from the architecture to the costumes to the make-up, everything. I don't want to hear from the director or writers, I want to hear four hours of just the craftspeople talking about their work. It's monumental. + Best Villain in the MCU, bar none. + Only MCU film to move me to actual tears in the movie theatre.

- I loved this movie! For the life of me I could not tell you the plot. I understand the plot of every Mission Impossible film but I don't know the plot of this movie. - If this movie was allowed to cut, like, 20 minutes of action and replace it with more character drama, it'd be the best MCU film.

IRON MAN 3

+ The MCU Movie That Pulls Exactly Zero Punches About Being About Mental Health And PTSD Holy Shit + Rhodey and Pepper get so much to do and I like an ensemble piece so much + Shane Black is in love with RDJ and I'm so happy for him + Pepper gets to be a lil monsterfied and that's hot

- Doesn't have Sam Rockwell. - The plot is kinda fully secondary to the character work, which imo is fine, but yanno.

GOTG Vol 1

+ All the stuff I said about GOTG Vol 1

- It's not Vol 2, which benefits from having all the bedrock foundation built by this movie to spring from.

B-TIER, AKA It's Fine I Guess:

IRON MAN 1

It's good! It invented the wheel! Part of it are fucking agonizingly painful to watch in 2023 but it also has more heart than 80% of the franchise so.

IN A CAVE. WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS.

LOKI

Okay it feels shitty of me to judge this one on its technical faults bc apparently it was shot during the pandemic and that causes a lot of the issues with the camerawork, the awkward editing, and just how Weird everything was put together. But also it's REALLY stilted and awkward, which butts up against the good script and the better acting, so IDK man.

Owen Wilson is amazing. Even my mother thought the way they canonized Loki being bi was a cop-out. And the final twist pissed me off. I hope Season 2 is better.

THOR 1

I DUNNO WHAT TO TELL YOU, BUT KENNETH BRANAGH UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT.

DR STRANGE AND THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS

This movie is a mess but once i figured out it was trying to be The MCU Does Gothic Horror, I was a lot more on board. It has all the flaws of the original Dr Strange and is hard to visually follow like most MCU films, but also has America Chavez, who I adore.

IRON MAN 2

It has Sam Rockwell, I don't give a fuck.

C-TIER, AKA I wish I cared but I do not 8C

DR STRANGE

I dunno I like the actual character of Strange weirdly, I like what a complete fucking asshole he is, I like his god complex and how he reacts to his disability as a surgeon. On the other hand what the fuck is Tilda Swinton doing here, this is just awful. My biggest issue with this film is that it didn't have to be this terrible but every decision made about it feels so fucking thoughtless and myopic.

WANDAVISION

yanno. i cannot even explain why i fell off this so hard. Like, this one Had Me all the way up to and including the Agatha reveal, but like the final episodes after that reveal somehow left me completely cold and uncaring. it's genuinely weird.

D-TIER, AKA Oh my god no thank you

AVENGERS

I hate the writing. Like, I haaaaate the writing. I feel like the only likeable relationship in this is Tony and Bruce, and that does not carry this movie. The quip-driven writing, the way the need for a joke supercedes naturalistic voices and dialogue making sense, it pisses me off. I hate the writing. Heartless movie.

BLACK WIDOW

oh my god i'm actively angry at this movie okay because for the first 20 minutes, I was like "wait, is this going to be a real movie," because it felt smaller, the action felt more realistic, that fight between the Widow and Yelena in the beginning felt like it could have been out of MI: Fallout, and the other fight between Natasha and Yelena in the safehouse was also good, I really thought for a few moments that this could be Good

and then it just took a hard right into The MCU Tries And Fails To Make MI: Fallout (They Even Stole The Mask Gag, What The Fuck Was That) and not only was I disappointed, I was like retroactively pissed for the 20 minutes when I had hope in my heart. If not for David Harbour's character, I would have just left in the middle of this movie.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME

Its not at bad as Infinity War! Nebula and Rocket carried this movie on their fucking backs. But what do I know, I liked Renner's mohawk of sadness.

F-Tier, AKA Fuck This Movie

INFINITY WAR

Fuck this movie with a rusted steel dildo, fuck this entire fucking movie, I despise it. The writing is so actively fucking terrible I want to fistfight whoever is responsible. I fucking hate the attempts to humanize Thanos over how sad he is about the daughter he abused and then murdered, boo fucking hoo, I hate the joylessness of the superhero combinations, I hate the quip-driven writing, I hate this movie with a burning passion. This might be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Soulless and destitute.

[krystaldeath]

Cult of The Lamb hc’s (part of me feels like I should wait till I play the game myself - or watch a full playthrough at least - before I “solidify” these but meh. For now at least these are how I see things):

* Kinda typical hc I feel like but Leshy is the youngest, then it’s Heket, Narinder, Kallamar, and then Shamura is the oldest.

* Idk what their ages would be chronologically wise but my personal hc’s for “biological” age are: Leshy (21), Heket (25), Narinder (27), Kallamar (32), and Shamura (40). I think Lamb is about 200 years chronologically but 28 “biologically” (I think it’s funny if they’re “older” than Narinder)

* I don’t have a name for them yet but my version of the Yellow Cat is a little bit fucked up actually. Like they seem chill and they kinda are? But they’ve got a body count. And no not the sex kind. Think of that one audio where the guy answers the body count with 30 and when it’s clarified that it’s about sex he’s like “Oh well I haven’t done that yet!” And the other persons like “WHAT DOES 30 MEAN THEN???”

* I need y’all to know I project onto The Lamb HARD. So yeah, they always wanted to be kind and sorta made it a big part of their personality. Unfortunately their world and circumstances just doesn’t allow for their kindness. They still try to be as kind as they can be, but it’s hard when you’re slowly ascending to godhood, especially into the god of death.

* Also Agender Lamb. They/Them and ONLY They/Them Lamb all the way. Demi ro & sex & pan. They’re a?ab (assigned ??? At birth; bc I can’t decide but if you MUST know I think they can shapeshift a bit now so. Maybe they forgot themself lol). Presents androgynously, leaning either way whenever they feel like it. They have a more masc voice though I think, like the ones people use in comic dubs a lot.

* Once I figure out how to draw (could stop it there I am Rusty) anthropomorphic animals it’s over for y’all (Translation: I will draw my self insert and The Lamb being kinda fucked up Besties)

* ((PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY SELF INSERT AND OTHER OC INSERTS I HAVE FOR THIS THE BRAIN ROT IS SO REAL))

* The cotl fandom is filled with queer people who’ve got some level of religious trauma, let me recommend a recent song I’ve been looping and imagining a cotl/narilamb animatic to: Collared by Vane Lily (look it up on YouTube to watch the fun mv first!) WARNING IT IS HIGHLY SUGGESTIVE

* I’ve been flip flopping a bit on what species she’d be but I have ideas for a follower love interest for Heket! At first I thought a bunny, then a bee, and currently feeling like a bat would be cute. Idk but I do see her as a warrior type who also likes to bake and do cutesy things too

* I think once the bishops become followers their injuries are worse but they can still “work” around them: Leshy can kinda see things if they’re up close. Heket can sorta speak but not fast and she’s got. Well not a sore throat bc. She doesn’t have one of those anymore. But something akin to that constantly. Kallamar can only hear loud things or if someone spoke into his ear directly (he only allows those in his polycule and his siblings (minus Narinder) to get that close). Shamura does get a bit lost in their own mind, and even when they’re more conscious their memory is spotty.

* Back to my Yellow Cat being a bit fucked up: They actually really liked the idea of chaos (though they hardly show it) so when they find out Leshy was the bishop of chaos instead of being scared or unnerved they’re like “*twirls hair (fur??)* ha ha ha, omg, really~?”

* *slaps the top of The Lamb, Leshy, and probably so many others don’t underestimate me* these bitches can fit so much adhd (+ autism probably) in them

* Probably (geez I use that word a lot huh?) got more hc’s, especially for other characters, but this is already pretty long so I’ll leave it here for now

[fanfic-enthusiast]

Snow Worms (Leshy x GN!Reader Cotl Fanfic)

Winters in Darkwood were long and chilly. Snowfall through the canopy of the towering redwood trees accumulated on the forest floor leaving the whole forest feeling like a winter wonderland.

Within this winter setting you stood bundled up in a few layers of winter clothing, alongside your lover and partner, the great Wyrm of Darkwood, Bishop Leshy himself. Who was similarly wrapped up with a thicker robe and long green scarf.

It was quite the strange relationship, he was your bishop and you were once just another follower. But chaos does as chaos does after all so taboo’s were never really much of a concern in Darkwood. And you received nothing but congratulations when you told your friends about the news of your new relationship with Leshy.

And here you were with him now, cozy in the snow as the two of you built snow worms together. So far his snow worm had been the largest but you had made more smaller ones around the singular large one.

“Yours in the middle kinda looks like you darling.” Leshy took a closer look at his worm and grinned. “You think? Well in that case let me get some handsome branches for the sides.” That got a chuckle out of you. “Don't forget something for your sharp teeth.” “Oh yes! Good idea.” Leshy wandered over to the tree line and searched the snow covered underbrush for building materials. While you finished up your latest snow worm. You had used little sticks for its horns and teeth.

With your smaller worms around the single large one, it almost looked as if they were a small army surrounding a much larger foe. The thought made you giggle, what would they even be fighting with? Normal worms used jump attacks or fireballs.

Ooo! That gave you an idea. You grinned to yourself and immediately got to work making as many snowballs as you could, hidden safely behind one of the snow worms you made before.

“I found some branches! And a couple other things.” You heard Leshy call from the treeline, followed up with a quick. “No peeking!!!” “Alright alright, if you insist.” More snowball time for you, so you wouldn’t say no to that.

You had quite the pile going next to your worm, hopefully the element of surprise would be enough to catch him off guard and maybe fall back into the snow below. Oh how funny that would be!

“Alright… you can look… Now!” You glanced over your shoulder from your snowball making. Leshy’s snow worm looked more like a snow statue of himself now with the extra details. Large branches on the side of the worm’s head, pointed bits of bark for teeth and a large piece of bark carefully positioned just so to where it looked like a crown perched on top of the snow worm’s head. It was amazing! You smiled and clapped.

“It looks great Leshy, though… what's that right there on the side of the crown?”

“Hm? What’s what?”

He turned around and that's when you struck, your pile of snowballs ready to go. Two hit his back before he turned back to you. “Hey!!” He grins and meets your eyes. Mischief painting both your faces as he reaches down to the snow to get himself some ammunition. Meanwhile you throw another few snowballs at him then dash off with a handful of your own ammunition before he can throw his.

The chase was on!

You run between your snow worm creations for cover from the massive handfuls of snow that rain down on you from your beloved. Who cackled like a madman when even part of the snow hit you. You managed to throw a snowball high enough it hit him square between the eyes. “Oh you're gonna get it now!!”

You had barely enough time to register that Leshy was airborne and diving into the earth in behind you before you were hit with a wave of snow from him emerging.

~

Even within the temple walls there was a chill in the air. Luckily you never had to worry about feeling cold. Not when you had your bishop with you.

The two of you stumbled through the large temple doors in fits of exhausted giggles covered head to toe in snow. Leshy helped you out of your winter clothing and hung it next to the door with his own robe while you made your way to your shared chambers to light a fire in the fireplace.

He joined you moments later with two mugs of hot cocoa, his own being much larger than yours, and the two of you settled next to the fireplace together with your mugs.

Pretty soon the chill left your bones and you snuggled into the mossy body next to you with a contented sigh.

“Did you have fun?” he asks. Leshy’s hand came to rest on your head, stroking between your ears gently. You nod and nuzzle into his side a little more which prompts a chuckle from him. His hand moves from your head to the small of your back and rubs some small circles as you get comfy.

“We need to do this again next year.” Leshy says with a yawn as he sets the large mug aside and curls his long leafy tail around you. Settling down next to the fire with a stretch and pulling you closer to his body.

“Couldn’t agree more… Merry Christmas Leshy.” “Merry Christmas.” You both settle in for good and relax together, sore from your fun in the snow but content and full of holiday cheer.

[beheamothscreamoth]

TWST Characters as the Cast of Les Misérables

So recently, I’ve been getting back into the Les Misérables musical, but I’ve also been having heavy brainrot for Twisted Wonderland,, So, of course, I got the random thought of combining these two fandoms, and for the fun of it, I decided to match characters from TWST with people from Les Mis - Who matches the vibe with this other character the best? Who would be who? This is all incredibly self-indulgent, but what the heck, why not?

You’ll see a few repeated TWST characters under some Les Mis people, but that’s because I think that character would fit them too! If you’re also confused about the question marks, that’s because I’m a little unsure of the TWST character’s placement in that role,, The more question marks, the more unsure I am- Again, I’m mostly basing my choices on pure vibes and delusions-

(Warning: Book 6 and 7 spoilers [There’s a pretty heavy implication for 7 + spoilery vibes, and I basically spoil the premise for 6] below! They’re under the ‘Read More’ section, but still, be careful when proceeding! And of course, I’m essentially spoiling the entirety of Les Misérables, and if you haven’t watched the musical, please do! It’s really good :D)

Jean Valjean:

Lilia Vanrouge

Trey Clover???

Inspector Javert:

Riddle Rosehearts

Rollo Flamme

Fantine:

Lilia Vanrouge???

Malleus’s mother-

I’ll be honest, I’ve debated a lot on who would fit Fantine, but I’ve come up with a lot of mixed results,, What do you guys think?

Cosette:

Malleus Draconia??

Silver

Yuu / MC

Marius Pontmercy:

Yuu / MC

Deuce Spade

Enjolras: 

Ace Trappola?? (It’s mainly because he gives off a lot of main character energy,,)

Sebek Zigvolt???

Silver??

Éponine:

Ace Trappola????

Jack Howl

Epel Felmier???

Monsieur Thénardier:

Ruggie Bucchi

Azul Ashengrotto

Fellow Honest

Madame Thénardier:

Ruggie Bucchie again

Floyd Leech

Jade Leech

Gidel

Gavroche:

Grim

Grantaire:

Cater Diamond (/lh)

Rook Hunt (even for me, this is a WILD reach,,)

Other Thoughts + Random Quotes from the Musical

I definitely feel like Kalim would be the bishop that houses Valjean after he gets out of prison! 

I was a little unsure about Jack's placement as Éponine, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked it? There was something funny about someone with a strong sense of justice living with such scammy people like the Thénardiers- And that moment where Éponine turns on her father, and takes the gunshot to protect Marius? Yeah, Jack betrayed his dorm to do what he thought was right, and I can see him getting in harm’s way to protect the person/people that he loves,,,

I’ll admit, while Azul does fit with the more “scammy” category of Monsieur Thénardier, I have to say, I think he’s a bit too,, “clean,” for him if that makes sense??

I do like the image of all the TWST characters fighting side by side and saving the world,, Technically that already happened in Book 6, but still,,

While I did slap Sebek with the role of Enjolras, a part of me thought that the army officer who sings to the student revolutionaries that they “have no chance at all,” would also fit him, considering Sebek is serving a royal,,

‘Little People,’ but with Grim,,

Okay but why does Deuce kinda match with the pipeline of Valjean so well though. Valjean used to be a prisoner and stole from a bishop, but he became a better man and a mayor. Deuce used to be a delinquent, but he became a better person and aims to be an honour student. Deuce doesn’t really match the old man energy Valjean has, but do you see how deep my delusions go??

Ace/Sebek, to a pining Deuce/Yuu: Who cares about your lonely soul?

Sebek: Diamond, pUT THAT BOTTLE DOWN

Ruggie: At the end of the day you’re another day older, and that’s all you can say for the life of the poor.

Ruggie/Azul: Nothing gets you nothing. Everything has got a little price!

Sebek: You have no friends. [Wow, thanks.]

Grim: This only goes to show what little people can do!

Ruggie: It’s a world where the dogs eat the dogs, where they kill for the bones in the street... I raise my eyes to see the heavens, and only the moon looks down. The harvest moon shines down!

Riddle: I am the law, and the law is not mocked!

Rollo: And if you fall as Lucifer fell, you fall in flames. And so it must be, for so it is written on the doorway to paradise - that those who falter and those who fall must pay the price.

Malleus: How strange, this feeling that my life’s begun at last. This change - can people really fall in love so fast? ...What’s the matter with you, Malleus? Have you been too much on your own? So many things unclear, so many things unknown...

Lilia: Dear Malleus, you’re such a lonely child. How pensive, how sad you seem to me. Believe me, if it were in my power, I’d fill each passing hour! How quiet it must be, I can see, with only me for company.

Yuu / MC: Get out before the trouble starts. Get out Ace, you might get shot!

Ace: I’ve got you worried now, I have! That shows you like me quite a lot!

Yuu/Deuce: As for you, take this too! *PUNCHES AZUL/RUGGIE AND THROWS MONEY AT HIM* God forgive us the things that we do!

Ruggie: Paris at my feet, Paris in the dust. And here’s me breaking bread with the upper crust!

[burningtacozombie]

random Mayans thoughts, episode 5x08 edition:

- Miguel, for a second I thought he visited Felipe to kill him after all. the way he walked through the house and looked at all the photos, it could have been an entirely different life for him. or maybe not that different? anyone else tried to imagine Miguel as a Mayan for a second? also, I get why Miguel would want Felipe to see the man who raised him the way he does but Felipe can't do that. Miguel in return can't accept the Reyes as blood and now he seems to be stuck between the father he forgave and the one he can't forgive but can't seem to let go either. something's got to give, he needs to find a solution for himself on how to move past his anger because none of them can change the past. then again, why isn't he as mad at his mother as he is at Felipe? it takes two to tango, doesn't it? and she kept the lie alive even after José's death. lies never protect anyone.

- Guero, finally we got some background on him and Ibarra. and it's as tragic as anyone's in this life. I do feel for him though, a lot. nice touch on wearing the Sons kuttes while getting rid of Diaz and Jinx' bodies to frame the Sons for the kills. once again, that banter Guero has going on with Downer is fucking funny even in a situation like that.

- Angel and Mav watching cartoons together was sweet in the moment but they still have no idea about Luisa, that lifechanging cloud over them is fucking sad. but he feels something is very wrong, he couldn't even stand being alone in his house and came home to pops.

- Letty went to the Broken Saints as a spy for Isaac but she had no choice, for Hope. Letty can be annoying as hell but she is nothing if not a fighter. congrats to Terry for using his brain for once and doing the right thing, letting them escape. probably won't end pretty for him but whatever. if Isaac were to drop dead right now it still wouldn't be soon enough.

-HOPE!!! man, I'm fucking shocked. there was this moment of realization of what she's going to do before she even did it and I FUCKING SCREAMED at my screen in literal desperation, full on ugly sobbing. for me personally, this might be the most painful death in the entire show, so far. if anyone deserved a happy end it was Hope, and I will never forgive them. rest in peace, girl. you were loved.

- Marcus, just when he got his act together with his family he gets pulled back into the club business. now he looks into Diaz' murder, which kinda scares the shit outta me. what is he gonna do when he finds out what really went down?

- the Grim Bastards think Diaz and Jinx were murdered by the Sons and left on their turf to pull them into the war. EZ wanted them to get "pushed over the edge" to side with the Mayans and Guero and Bishop delivered him the "how to do that" in a very convenient way. until Marcus shows up, that is. don't get fooled, the only reason one of EZ's plans worked is because it's a page right out of Nestor's playbook. this is basically the same thing the Galindo cartel did in season 1 when Nestor killed that nun and framed Los Olvidados so the cartel could present themselves as the savior to the public.

- Creeper's sister, who turns out to be Emilio's real life wife, broke my heart with her speech at the service. he genuinely loved and cared so much about those he considered family. I loved that everyone was toasting with water bottles to honor Creeper’s sobriety when they carried him out. EZ has nerves to straight up admitting he killed him in front of the whole club, and no one even realized how true that is. Kody had nerves too showing up but I feel like the look she gave EZ while walking out is starting to raise some club members' suspicions. there were quite a few confused looks towards EZ.

- Taza came back for the service, and it seems like he's staying. I don't know how I feel about that. Bishop wants to leave the past in the past, but it was Taza who started this whole mess and no one except these two knows. it's not okay.

- Gilly, yes the episode was co-written by Vincent but that doesn't make me care more about his family thing. Paul did get a well-deserved beating tho.

- I don't care a whole lot about Sofia either but if she is pregnant, I'm sure that's gonna end well for her and EZ's gonna be a great dad. /s

- Bottles, come on, your mother jokes weren't funny anymore when I was a teenager. and given you're a prospect and Guero a full patch, you kinda did ask to have your face rearranged, lmao. however, Sister Anne's message was not a booty call but Isaac taking the information Letty gave him and running with it. now the Mayans really are fucked six ways to sunday and the walls around EZ are closing in fast.

[mdhwrites]

Kinda surprised you saw Sasha as a parallel to Boscha. Many tend to see Sasha as paralleling Amity if she's ever compared to an Owl House character.

So funny enough: The artist I saw a good long while ago that inspired the post actually made Amity into both Sasha AND Marcy. One for when Amity had green hair, the other for pink respectively. I actually do like likening S2 Amity to Marcy because both become cinnamon rolls too precious for this world who can do little wrong... To varying degrees of genuinely good characterization for both. Amity as Sasha though, even restricted to just S1 when Amity is her most fleshed out and her most mean... No because while Amity begs for you to call her the best, Sasha and Boscha both do not ask for they believe by just being who they are, they ARE the best.

There's a lot of reasons why I don't like comparing Amity to Sasha but a lot of that could be countered with simply differences in writing quality or narrative goals. This fundamental difference in their characters though is the big reason why the two are simply incompatible. Why Sasha redeemed is still not just Amity redeemed and the closest she comes to that is clearly a mistake in Commander Anne. There's nothing you can do to get rid of an ego as large as Sasha's though without fundamentally damaging who she is and how she functions after all.

Amity on the other hand? Her first episode is the closest she ever comes to true confidence turned outwards and even then, she breaks too easily. During Reunion, Sasha is cold towards Anne when she resists her. She is upset but she's not actually angry. Not when she just believes she needs to correct Anne when Anne first starts resisting her. It takes time for Anne to whittle her down and even then, it's still with a cold threat that she tries to bring Anne in line until Grime gives her a way to settle the matter once and for all. It's part of why Anne beating her, and why surviving when she tries to let Anne live, hit her so hard. Meanwhile, Amity has a single award taken from her and she goes immediately into fully deranged desperation. It's not just about re-establishing dominance, it is about removing the existential threat to her existence.

Covention is even explicitly about this. Luz claiming to be a witch makes her feel lesser and not beating her puts her entire future in jeopardy in her eyes. When Boscha has a human suddenly out pranking her and making people listen to 'Luz' instead of her in Once Upon a Swap, she does it through a game and with a confident grin, letting 'Luz' fuck up and almost kill herself because Boscha doesn't need to go that far to remove the problem. Sure, she still doesn't like someone stealing her thunder but she believes she can remove the problem. If King had won the race, Boscha would have simply gotten a bit frustrated and tried a different approach but she wouldn't have gone off to cry like Amity did.

It's actually part of why Sasha's parents being bad parents would make Sasha's arc worse while it's entirely natural for Amity's arc for them to be at least overbearing. They didn't technically need to be evil but they clearly were part of what put this pressure and doubt into Amity's head. They are part of the expectations that she is constantly trying to meet, at least until she decides that the only expectation that matters is her girlfriend's. *eye twitch* It fits with the framing of her evil and her lack of confidence though that she doesn't get enough approval at home, allowing for layers to why she's like this.

Meanwhile, Sasha is a borderline narcissist who plays god with people. Everyone is just a pawn to her with Anne being her queen and Marcy a Bishop. They are more important but they are still less important than her. Everyone is and she treats life, until Turning Point, like a game. Like it's for her amusement, hence why she literally says she'll paint Amphibia red before going home. Why not after all? It doesn't matter. There's nothing her parents could add to that besides maybe showing that they spoiled their daughter and that's part of where her ego comes from. Even that's wholly unnecessary though because some people really do just want to play hero or be the best and need to get knocked down to learn how to be a real human being, coming from someone who needed that and who wishes his brother would learn that lesson finally.

Boscha herself even sees people as pawns to control. She practically quotes Machiavelli with how being feared is better than being loved after all in Winging it Like Witches. Sure, she actually DOES recognize she doesn't have the same level of power that Sasha does but, well, that's likely because where as Sasha is the leader of her group, Boscha is second fiddle to Amity and Amity rules through fear more than anyone really seeming to like her. Even at her own sleepover where everyone else seems to like her and Boscha even wants to try and include her, she's too busy brooding to even try to do anything with the ritual because S1 Amity is kind of a colossal dick to her friends for no rhyme or reason besides the show deciding they're bad because... Reasons. It never really gives evidence for them being bad besides them being fellow bullies, like Amity, their leader, and one "Okay Boomer" joke from Hooty's Moving Hassle that is BIZARRE in a show trying to be as progressive as this is.

But that brings me to why I get Amity being compared to Sasha. On the most surface level, both are bullies with deep ties to the main character who is reformed over time to be a staunch ally. However, the details are all wrong to make their personalities properly overlap. I joke that my love for Lumischa should prepare me to write Sashannarcy but the two actually have VERY different polyamory dynamics due to intelligence, confidence and social strengths between the three. That is definitely a topic for a different blog.

So yeah, I stick by my statement. If you want a Sasha comparison in TOH, Boscha is your best bet, not Amity or Hunter.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[thefanciestborrower]

Haha lol Ice Emperor goes Brrrr part 9

[Next time's arc finale, baybey]

Zane.

The name rolled about in his head as he watched Lloyd push a pawn two spaces across an ice chessboard. Julien’s bishop made its way to the center of the board. “What was he like?”

“Huh?” The boy’s spirits were higher now that he knew his brothers were coming, and he looked up at Julien with wide, shining green eyes. The same shade as meadow grass, a concept that danced between his fingers in mystifying circles.

“Your brother, I mean. Zane.” The name tasted odd on his tongue. Like winter winds and flaking wood. “You have told me some, but I imagine there’s more.”

Lloyd moved a knight to intercept his bishop, but couldn’t quite jump it. “Well, he’s kind.” A pause to watch Julien move a rook. “And he’s loyal, and he’s kinda weird.”

“Weird?” Lloyd took one of his pawns.

“Yeah, like Kai told me a story once that he followed this bird for like ever and they had to beat up these tree monsters.” The white pawn was lined up with two of its fellows on Lloyd’s side of the board. One had a chip in the side of its “head”.

I know who I am.

“That is strange.” Julien took Lloyd’s knight, placing it along the row of other such dynamic pieces that Lloyd had lost over the course of their game. Lloyd took another pawn with a bishop.

“A little bit, but we love him for it. He’s got a good… sense of things. Sometimes he knows what happens before it actually comes to pass.” A careful dance of shuffling pawns. Like the movements of his army. “He’s funny, though. He’s got a bunch of really old songs loaded into his stuff.”

Hello my ragtime gal—

“I think the big thing was his falcon, though. It went everywhere with him, but the Great Devourer got it… I think. It stopped showing up after that. I don’t think he named it, though.” Lloyd took the bishop he’d set up as an executioner. “Just called it ‘my friend’ most of the time.”

Its eyes gleamed blue as it took off, forest-sized emerald snake in tow as it dove and bobbed through the rocky plateau that made up the bulk of the desert. When it called, it was a harsh sort of shriek, but oh-so familiar, even as heat—hot. Too hot. Unfamiliar—bore down against his back. A hand made of metal but wreathed in flesh raised as if by some force of will, he could stop it.

Lloyd took Julien’s king with a pawn.

Like a blizzard, his mind erupted into theory and thought, each too quick for him to catch. Frozen claws dug into his spine as he rose, barely remembering to extend a hand for Lloyd as he swiveled, turning to the directions of the dungeons as if possessed. He thought Lloyd was speaking to him, but the squall of his mind was drowned any but the sound of his own systems in his ears.

He didn’t remember, even, which path he took to the dungeons, just that he stood in front of a black ice cell. Inside, beyond the bars, a broad-set young man stared at him. Purplish circles ringed his eyes, and exhaustion set heavy upon his frame. “I will not bow to you.” His voice was a growl low in his chest.

“I know.” The formling cocked his head, bear cap sliding just slightly on his hair. “Usurpers bow to no one. I expect nothing from you but an answer.”

“You would be a fool to think I would tell you anything.” The bear boy bared his teeth. Lloyd shrunk back against The Emperor’s chest.

“I want only to know the identity of the emperor before me. Before my original reign.”

His scoff echoed like phantoms in his cell. “Mad emperor, you are,” he snapped. “This is your first—your only reign. We lived in peace before you.” A hardened elbow of bread thunked against the bars of the cell. “You are the usurper. The emperor before you was Grimfax—a kind man. Far kinder than you.”

The Emperor knew of Grimfax. He was even a high-ranking soldier in The Emperor’s army. He remembered being told that Grimfax was the man who took his throne. Took his life. Took what he felt should occupy the echoing that filled his chest at times. “How would I know the truth of your words, assassin?”

The bear boy scowled. Julien thought he couldn’t look older than ten winters ahead of Lloyd. “What good would wasting my voice on a lie be? You and your men do little more than ignore me, anyway. May as well say something of worth.”

When he stared down at the prisoner for too long, Lloyd spoke up. “Julien?” The prisoner raised his head.

“I am fine.” He refocused on the formling. “Your testimony will be considered. For now…” his gaze slid around the dungeons, bare ice rising in sloping walls. Lloyd’s breath fogged just slightly when he breathed. “Let’s go get your brothers.”

Gathering Vex, a few essentials, and Boreal was a simple task. Boreal could cover entire forests in mere hours, so he had been resting at the stables already returned from his previous assignment. The Emperor, himself, was always primed to go on… adventures, a habit he couldn’t seem to break, so all that remained was allowing Vex to pack some items, and…

“Absolutely not.” Julien’s eyes landed on the slightly thicker winter coat Lloyd had acquired from… somewhere, and though swathed in it he looked something like a green marshmallow—the concept of the item vanished from his mind as soon as he thought of it—he was still, distinctly, miniscule. Miniscule creatures did not belong in the Never-Realm. He would freeze to death if he stepped outside.

Lloyd’s puffed cheeks did little for the “small fluffy thing” look. “We’re going for my brothers,” came the petulant whine. “I should be there! What if they attack you?”

“They would be fools.” Julien tapped his staff against the ground, briefly scanning for Vex before returning his attention back to Lloyd.

“What—what if I rode in your stomach—it’s insulated, right? I’d be fine.” Little mittened hands smacked at his faceplate. “I’ll be quiet, I promise—I just—it’s been so long since I’ve seen them.” Lloyd raised his eyebrows and tucked his hands as he stared at the side of Julien’s head.

He knew exactly what Lloyd was doing.

And he didn’t like that it was working.

When he caught footsteps returning from the vague direction Vex vanished off to, Julien sighed, looping a couple of titanium fingers around Lloyd’s waist as he raised the boy to his face. “Fine.” And that was the only warning he gave before shoving the child up to his shoulders into Julien’s mouth. He was a mouthful—Lloyd’s jacket added some bulk to a frame that usually had none, and it was somewhat of a challenge to even get the boy to the back of his mouth.

When the footsteps grew louder, Julien simply threw back his head and swallowed, catching Lloyd by the arm before the rest of him followed. The child—mostly his jacket—displaced some of Julien’s other functional components as he passed, a soft sort of ache setting into his wake.

Julien picked a piece of collar-fluff from his tongue just as Vex rounded the corner, and just as Lloyd dropped lightly into his stomach. Both of them, of course, quickly made themselves comfortable, with Vex hoisting himself upon Boreal’s back to rest against one of the dragon’s dorsal spines, and Lloyd finding his usual spot against the stomach wall nearest to Julien’s nervous column.

A quick huff through his mask, and The Emperor had vaulted up to rest upon his dragon’s shoulders. Vex called out to the guards manning the stable doors, and with a lurch and a jump that sent Lloyd sliding, all four of them were in the air, wheeling through snow-flecked skies toward the reports of colorful teenagers.

[unethicalmorals]

Looking at the March spawn ratings like my damn life depends on it

Brackens have a spawn rate of 20.92%, so the thing that killed the Thumper could potentially be a very large Bracken, but Brackens don't usually maul their Pray. So unless this Bracken was particularly pissed off at the thumper, it might be crossed off as the potential killer

The thumper could've also potentially been cannibalized! But why would the bigger Thumper take only the head and leave the rest of the body? Also how would it have left a gold ingot? I'll probably cross off another thumper as the killer

Ghost don't typically spawn on March, plus they target people with low sanity levels, and a Thumper is just a weird little animal, no sanity to lose. So, no ghost (I support ghost Robin brutalizing Thumpers though good for her)

Maybe a Coil-Head? They are known for somehow removing people's arms and heads, though the thumper doesn't have a coil in its neck so likely not. Unless the coil-head just decided to leave gold this time for whatever reason

Nutcrakers have a pretty low spawn rate but still higher than a Jester. Though, probably wouldn't remove a Thumpers whole head, unless it was just really mad and kept shooting the thumper until it's head was completely eviscerated, which is a funny visual (What did the Thumper ever do to you Nutcracker?😭)

There can only be 1 Jester in a facility at a time, so unless you intend to ignore spawn counts given the magic of fanfic, I don't think it was a Jester. Unless it was the same Jester currently hunting Rabbit, but I'm pretty sure the Rabbit situation and Bishop/Pink situation are happening at the same time

So far, I think the most likely candidate is a very big, very angry Bracken. But who knows! Maybe a hydrodere absorbed it's head! I'm excited either way‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Anyways V50, yummy, delicious, I have a love-hate relationship with the Butler. On one hand, he's kinda goofy, on the other, he is the only thing in the entire game that genuinely Freaks me out like get the FUCK. AWAY FROM ME IMMEDIATELY. DECREPIT LITTLE FUCKIN THING DEAR GOD-- THE MUSIC DOES NOT HELP‼️‼️‼️‼️

Man-made horrors are fine, sexy even. Put a fuck-ugly puppeted corpse with a knife? Awful, disgusting, I won't sleep for weeks

I think it's mechanics are neat though. It will literally look around a little bit before pulling out it's knife and charging at you😭😭😭 and the fact it just goes back to sweeping if someone else comes by while it's chasing you like okay you little shit fuck off (affectionate) (also extremely derogatory)

Old birds though I love them so much, I want to see the crew chased by one it would be so funny (for me. Absolutely not them. Maybe Pink actually-)

I'd like to think Bishop would be absolutely Giddy to see a bigass robot at first, taking a moment to admire its design. He wants to know how it's inner workings function so bad!!!!! But then it starts shooting missiles at him and playing the crying baby sound and Bishop immediately just "😃😀😦😰 what the fuck"

-Watcher

Hehe, there are so many things that it could be,, I wonder what has the potential to kill a Thumper, especially to eviscerate it in such a way,, 🤭

I love the exploration you've gone into figuring out the March monster,, AAhh!! 😊😉 Your final guess is pretty in line with what my friends have guessed too!! :D

So far the top guesses are; - Bracken - Nutcracker - Me, apparently????

However, we won't get the answer until we finally reach that chapter!! Here's a quick sketch in the meantime ♥ 😌

YESS v50 ‼️‼️‼️ I'M IN LOVE WITH IT GRRR I have a love-hate relationship with the Butler too-- On one hand,, a fucked up little guy filled with hornets!!! 😁 BUT HE IS INCREDIBLY UNNERVING 🥺 (shaking hands with you 😭���) I like that you can hear the bugs buzzing inside when you get too close 👀👀👀 ((I DO NOT LIKE THE MUSIC HOWEVER)) When you kill him too it is quite,,, HMM 😬😒😬 ANYWAY--

The Old Birds bring out the robot-fucker in me 😌I love them so much,, I love those clunky ass things,, the single flashlight eye oh my god,,, And they incinerate you completely when they grab you?? 👀👀👀 (I'm sorry)

(Pink needs more enrichment and if the crew are subjected to horrors in the process?? Then so be it. Pink is willing to make that sacrifice~)

Bishop would LOVE to figure out the mechanisms of the Old Birds, he would be all over their inactive forms!! ((He would freak out when it activates and proceed to go through the five stages of grief simultaneously upon hearing those baby crying sounds)) <- Incredibly fucked up thing of the Old Birds to do btw,, who does that,, baby crying sounds while killing you-- ohmygod I love them 🥺

Here's a Pink waving at Rabbit as a bonus, courtesy of Porsha 😌

[lulendrea]

ok, first of all I retract that last statement, I might watch the 1987 show one day, but not for now because that's a lot of episodes to go through. anyway, here's my thoughts on tmnt 2003 (most of them at least) (disclaimer: a lot of them are negative because those are the ones I remember the best and that stick out more in my mind. also, it’s a long post)

it was kind of boring. it was hard to binge-watch, I was never really looking forward to watch another episode, like with other shows where you can hardly stop yourself from saying "just one more episode".

I didn't dislike it. If you were to ask me I would say I liked it, but I didn't find it very engaging.

I don't know the exact reason why I find it boring, but I think the biggest issue is that it's slow, mainly, the pacing and the dialogue/voice acting, which I'm pretty sure was very typical for shows of that era. For the high majority of episodes I would reach a point where I would pause the video and look at how much was left and every single time it happened was at the 12th or 13th minute mark, so halfway through the episode.

the characters just speak soooo slooow. And they speak even slower if they're a wise character, an old character or an important villain (Splinter, Shredder, Karai, Bishop, the Ancient One, etc. basically the majority of people the turtles interact with).

I think it's also why I didn't find the humor in the show very funny, usually it doesn't take me much to laugh at something, but I think the characters just took too much time to finish saying the jokes. 

also, maybe I disliked the sound effects? maybe they were bothering me without me realizing it? but it's not something I actually paid attention to or noticed until season 7, so I can't say for sure. 

the intro song in season 1-3 and the one in season 7 were really good. I enjoyed them a lot, so I never skipped them and I liked the visuals accompanying them. The modified intro that shows up in season 4 was not very good though, it felt very disjointed, both the actual song and the visuals. And the season 6 song is just okay: not absolutely terrible, but mostly very meh. (also I looked up the Italian intro to see if it sparked any memories of having ever seen it, but nope. It’s not terrible, but not very great either, the chorus is definitely catchy, though very generic for an Italian intro. And the season 6 one is... meh.)

I liked the music in the show. I saw the first episode and i was like "damn, the music is good", but it's something I only really noticed in season 1, so I don't know if it got "worse" or if I just simply stopped paying attention to it. 

I liked how tiny the turtles were compared to everyone else. And kinda chonky. And I liked seeing them without their masks. In Rise I always found them weird-looking without their masks, but here they were nice.

at first it was really hard to distinguish Raph and Mikey when they weren't standing in the same shot, since Mikey's mask is a very reddish orange. I got used to it eventually, but then season 6 decided to have the opposite problem and have Raph's mask look very orange! I got used to it faster but it was still a struggle at first.

I liked the turtles and Splinter as characters and I liked the relationships they had with each other and April. While I didn't particularly like Casey on his own, I did like his friendship with Raph and, to the extent shown, his relationship with the other turtles. 

it took me a long while to get used to the fact that superheroes existed in this universe. I kept forgetting about them. 

the villains were meh.

most of the time, they started out as interesting, and then they stopped being interesting the longer they showed up and since I had watched 2012 before this, I was already familiar with some plotlines, so I wasn't really excited to see them again.

By season 3 I was so done with Shredder. I was tired of seeing him, hearing his voice, hearing his theme, hearing the same motivations over and over again.

Stockman goes through the same thing over and over again, and he makes the same mistakes over and over again. Maybe that's the point of his character, but when every villain doesn't change how they react to things, it gets very tiring real fast.

Hun is boring, except for when he gets competent in season 4. The Triceratons are boring, the Federation is boring. The villains in season 6 are nothing special. Every villain kind of blends together in my head.

Bishop was interesting in that his motivations were not always perfectly opposed to the turtles. I enjoy when villains get in each other's way and so I enjoyed when he was an active obstacle to the Shredder's plans. But overall Bishop slowly loses his cool factor and stops being that interesting.

Karai's descent into villainy was kind of insulting, really. The motivation for it was awkwardly implemented. The voice acting was really bad, she sounded more threatening as a reluctant antagonist to the turtles than she did as a villain. And Leo defeated her in two seconds….wow, fun. Maybe it was to show the growth of Leo’s character and to show how his view of her had changed and how he would no longer hold back against her, but it certainly made Karai feel weak and incompetent. And when the only important female villain (I’m not counting the virus lady from season 6, because she’s not good either) is treated by the narrative like a petty girl playing dress-up, then I think you’re doing something wrong. It’s okay if Karai is pushing herself into a role she does not fit, that she’s continuing a vendetta because that’s the only way she feels she can honor her father and deal with her grief at losing him because of the turtles, but this isn’t what the show tells us. It tells us she genuinely wants this, she genuinely hates the turtles, she genuinely wants to kill them, and she genuinely wants to continue her father’s legacy by being the next Shredder. But the show makes her look laughable when doing any of this. It’s disappointing.

the only "villains" I liked were the wooden creatures in season 5 and they weren't even villains! They looked cool, acted cool, I didn't have to hear them talk, and they didn't overstay their welcome.

To be fair, it's not like I usually watch a show for the villains, so it's not that big of a deal, but it did add to the sense of boredom throughout and it did make me go "ughhhh, shut up, get on with it and go away" every time Shredder showed up after the second season. 

I think some fight scenes were really good? I remember having that thought a few times, but I didn’t really put a pin on it in my mind, so I have no idea which fight scenes they were. I think one was the first against Bishop

now let’s talk about each season in more detail (which isn’t a lot because I have a horrible memory).

I don't have much to say about season 1 and 2, I don't remember much about them since I watched them back in September. 

if I remember right I think season 1 was done pretty well, plot-wise. It introduced the characters and kept the stakes personal to the turtles and Splinter.

oh wait, I remember one thing. what is up with Shredder's building?? I remember not paying that much attention during that episode, but then the turtles were in that room with the elemental guardians and I was like, where the hell are we?? what is happening? is this still even a building? 

anyway. For season 2, I'm pretty sure I liked the first few episodes, but aside from that I don't really remember anything of note beyond that, so I can't really say anything else about it. 

season 3. I started really liking the animation here and in season 4. I first noticed it in Worlds Collide. I don't know exactly what changed, maybe the timing? (I'm not good at identifying different characteristics of animation, so it might've been something else). I just felt like every time I liked it, it had the same type of speed (??).

I remember really liking Worlds Collide Part 2. I never paused it, I was engrossed throughout the whole thing. I just really enjoyed it. 

season 4 was the second easiest season to get through, it was pretty easy to binge-watch.

Hun felt more competent, Karai felt more incompetent (that's a negative, not a positive), Bishop was meh.

I liked Leonardo's anger (but the forced angry voice was awkward to listen to and made me not take him seriously sometimes.), though it was weird how the others mostly never confronted him about it or had much reaction to it or opinions about it.

I felt like it was such a missed opportunity to not have Raph and Leo relate with each other on that aspect, either before Leo got over it (as a way for Raph to try and help him through it. He didn't even have to succeed, it could have backfired spectacularly and I would have been okay with that. People do have different ways to cope with anger after all, and being confronted about one's anger doesn't usually go well the first time around) or after it (with Leo relating to Raph in some way. I mean, Leo and Raph did have very different reasons for being angry, but they acted out their anger in very similar ways.)

Raph even tried to confront Leo at one point, but Splinter interrupted him, which I was so pissed about. I wanted to know what he was going to say to him!

I did like that they tried to get Usagi to help, since he was someone outside the family who Leo was friends with and who Leo might've been more comfortable sharing his troubles with.

(But again, I did find weird how Leo's brothers barely interacted with him regarding his anger. I would've been more okay with it if it was made obvious that they actually had no idea how to approach him about it and so they mostly ignored the problem hoping it'd go away on its own or something.) 

season 5 sucked. like, I was 4 episodes in and I was dreading the fact I had two more seasons to go after this one, if this is how they would all go.

I was intrigued by the story at the beginning but the pacing was horrible, and the things that happened were baffling. 8 characters "died" in a single episode and I was supposed to take that seriously? Then Chaplin and Karai "died" in the most hilarious way possible and I don't think I've laughed that hard during the entire 7 seasons. And going by the tone of the show, I was not supposed to laugh.

the interactions between the characters got weirder and weirder especially when the previous seasons' antagonists got thrown in the picture.

Then the turtles kept saying the names of their weapons out loud every time they did an attack and for this show that's just off and awkward and Raph kept saying "let's kick some shell!" like it was a catchphrase. (it was probably just two times or something, but it was two times too many for me.)

The dragons' designs were very stiff and I kept thinking they looked like Yu-gi-oh designs? (although that might not be a very accurate statement and I’m not trying to dunk on Yu-gi-oh). They just looked weird for the show.

I did like the design for Chikara (and the fact she wasn’t the one with the fan weapon, small mercies!) and I liked Hisomi.

and I did like that the turtles each had their own relationship with the other 4 candidates, though the show didn’t really go into much depth with it.

and again, I liked the wooden enemies the Ninja Tribunal made. honestly that first fight scene with them is probably my favorite scene of this season. 

season 6. I thought the turtles looked precious without their masks and I was kind of hoping they would never wear them again even though I knew that was never going to happen.

why is Raph so tall?? who thought that Raph seemed like a tall person?? he radiates small energy!! it took me the whole season to get used to.

I didn't mind this season, but wow, Raph really got the preferential treatment this time. He's my favorite and I did feel like in the previous seasons, Raph didn't get to do as much as his brothers (mainly Donnie and Leo), but it was still pretty balanced. This season however, apart from like, the last 4 episodes, Leo didn't do much of anything. I'm pretty sure he barely even said anything. Donnie did more, but he was also pretty much on the sidelines. Mikey is the only one who comes somewhat close to Raph, but this is also the season that started turning his character into a more childish and immature one.

this season had some sweet moments between the brothers, I liked the graduation day episode with Mikey's brothers wanting him to graduate with them and helping convincing Splinter to give him another chance.

and I liked the episode with Leo's clone where Leo finally got to do a thing! 

season 7 returned to a more balanced cast. It was a bit divided relationship-wise, with Donnie separated from the other three, but he had his own role in the plot and it was nice seeing Raph, Leo and Mikey hanging out and spending time with each other and they had some cute interactions.

and Mikey got to defeat Shredder (not really, but kind of) which was cool.

also, it was nice seeing Raph help out Casey with the engagement and the wedding.

(also I can see where the 2012 April-gets-corrupted-by-an-evil-artefact plot comes from).

this season made some minor character decisions that were confusing in light of previous seasons, for example with Stockman who seemed okay interacting with the turtles even though he's not supposed to become a better person until much later, if we go by season 6's canon.

season 7 is the least visually appealing season. The turtles having eyes with the masks on looks weird, though I'm sure it was done to make them more expressive.

and the redesign choices for some characters made it really hard to recognize them. I did not recognize Karai at all, I was confused when I saw Chaplin at the wedding but she wasn't there, even though I had seen her invitation, but no, she was there, I had just overlooked her because I thought she was a random person.

(I don't even know why they decided to redesign them? it's not like they're better designs.)

I disliked Donnie in the first few episodes. A lot. I saw him and I was like "wow, I can see where 2012 Donatello got his personality from". I was afraid he was gonna be like that for the whole season, but thankfully he wasn't.

season 7 is the season I enjoyed the most. Somehow. I don't know why, it wasn't necessarily better than the other seasons (except 5), and in some respects it was definitely worse, but I was never bored with it. Maybe it's because the intro song always got me very hype, who knows. Regardless, it was a breeze to get through and it left me on a positive note. 

which was ruined by Turtles Forever. apart from the meeting with the Prime Turtles and maybe a few more moments (?? I don't actually remember any of these other moments, so maybe not.) it was all very boring for me and that's all I have to say about it. 

oh i almost forgot. 

gnc Mikey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



by the way, I promise I don't dislike this show. I like the turtles and I think that's the most important thing that matters.

I love how Michelangelo is silly and loves fun and distractions, but he seems to be the most level-headed when it comes to strong emotions. How he's sometimes fearful and seeks glory, but he's genuinely always ready to throw that aside to help people.

I love how Raphael is the most emotional and so family-oriented, but his emotions still put him at odds with his family sometimes. How his impulsiveness and need for retaliation gets him into trouble, but also how often that trouble leads him to build connections with people who need help but won't ask for it.

I love how Leonardo's passion and his quest for growth as a person and as a ninja leads him to question the role of his father's teachings in the situations he encounters and the people he interacts with, and to question his own role within his own family, juggling his responsibility towards them as their leader (and the weight that comes with it) and his own sense of justice. How, no matter the struggles he faces, he'll always find his way back to his family's side.

I love how Donatello's tech is always geared towards his family's comfort and safety and how it sometimes plays into his family's interests. How excited he gets at discovering new things and like-minded people. How calm and patient he is, both in combat and with his own family, but also how he doesn't hesitate to tease his brothers. How often he seeks to understand the people he meets, how easily he connects with them emotionally and how he strongly feels for them and their plights.

I love how Splinter is always there with his sons. How he doesn't want to drag them into his own issues and battles, but if it happens he's always there to protect them, to fight alongside them and to guide them when they're willing to listen. How he always tries to treat them fairly and with patience. How he might get exasperated by them but it's always with a layer of fondness.

And if there’s one thing this show’s done right, it’s that I can tell that the turtles, Splinter, April and Casey all really care for each other. 

[temunitu]

been rewatching tmnt 2012 with my sister (my other siblings joining occasionally) and WOW.

(take everything i say with a grain of salt)

ok so. from the beginning:

season one:

• i liked the build up of having to learn about the villains as they came in. it’s also a bit different because the kraang show up before shredder.

• the mystery of april’s connection to the kraang was enticing.

• I AM STILL MAD ABOUT TIMOTHY. they tried to make donnie seem guilty over it but donnie never seemed remorseful. timothy deserves BETTER OK? he was made out to he just some annoying guy but he wasn’t that bad. also just because someone is annoying doesn’t mean they deserve to get mutated into organs in a tank!!!

• the characterization of the turtles was still a bit rougher than i’m used to (my siblings and i are very close so seeing the turtles act mean for the sake of being mean is really… not my cup of tea).

• the ENDING is what sells this for me, though—when leo stays behind to destroy the kraang/technodrome and it explodes and they think he DIED? not a single tear onscreen. not one. yes there are people who don’t cry normally, and maybe they were in shock, but there’s almost no crying in the ENTIRE show for ANYTHING.

season two:

• ok, mutagen canisters sprinkled all over the city. makes for an easy way to bring in more mutants (they overused this)

• april’s mad. ok, interesting take. hey donnie maybe leave her the fuck alone and stop stalking her???

• krang invasion. ok, interesting. high stakes, new takes. can’t say I’m a fan of new york getting cured with no repercussions but whatever. 

season three:

• interesting, interesting, being in the woods is a nice change of setting

• that one can of mutagen just… continuing the entire plot of the show.

• a FUCKING CAR GOT MUTATED???? what are the limitations of mutation i’m going to scream

• they um… they were just goofing off and having parodies/references to horror movies before the last episode where they just… DECIDE to suddenly get off their shells to train????? because Leo got his ass kicked by a deer??? 

• big dino go brrrrrr

• splinter dies. no tears.

season four:

• a l i e n s

• Y’GYTHGBA AND G’THROKKA MY BELOVED. Y’Gythgba, girl… you can do so much better. what do you see in raph. he can’t even pronounce your name right???

• what the— the wyrm episode didn’t have ANY semblance on plot OR character development??? nobody knows casey defeated wyrm. there’s literally… no reason to have this episode??????

• ok so wait. bishop first meets the turtles ON EARTH like RIGHT before the triceraton invasion. why does bishop know who they are when they go to dimension x??? they went back in time SIX MONTHS

• they had. an ENTIRE. EPISODE. DEDICATED. TO BEING INSIDE MIKEY’S MIND. AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING WITH IT????? none of his brothers treat him better. they don’t understand him better now. mikey himself doesn’t change. what is this.

season 5:

• oddly probably one of the more enjoyable seasons because it’s just so ridiculous

• mark hamill. my man. how did they get you for this role.

• why the hell does donnie hate don visioso SO MUCH? is it because his name is “don”? it’s because his name is don, isn’t it

• once again. mikey “dies.” no tears. no tears when he comes back. also why did they take away his powers without testing to see if they really would explode him???? that could be an asset???????

• what the ACTUAL FUCK was the mutant apocalypse arc. they dropped that out of nowhere and then never brought it up again. a mutagen bomb from the kraang but the kraang are nowhere in sight??????????? i have Questions

• monster arc was kinda garbage but the “I can’t find savanti ramiro anywhere i barely managed to track him to this time” “RENET! YOU FOUND ME!” was sorta funny

• bebop and rocksteady my beloved?? 1987 krang and shredder my beloved???? 1987 krang in not one, but TWO booster seats. this one was legitimately funny 

[lovecatsys]

okay since everything except for Uncanny Spider-Man is out now I'm gonna go ahead and give my reviews of Fall of X so far

First off, Immortal and Red continue to be masterpieces, no surprises there, both books however are clearly taking a turn in a different direction and I'm loving it for both of them.

Jean Grey is not what I expected it to be at all, but still an amazing character study of Jean, I expected nothing less from Simonson of course.

Invincible Iron Man and X Men are decent, not a fan of exactly whats going on with Kate, the Emma stuff is great though. Kamala should not be in this book. I hate the avengers by default but I don't exactly hate whats going on between Emma and Tony, though that might change. The "wedding" is going to be exactly what I expected it would be of course. Overall not Duggan's worst writing but I don't love it.

Uncanny Avengers is... meh, so far, Pietro is super OOC which is :/ but maybe he'll get some more focus later on, god I hope he does. But it's frustrating how little effort is going into portraying him as a visible person of color when a much greater effort is going into his sister. Monet used her telepathy which gives me hope for her! I'm down for more of her teaming up with Kwannon tbh, they make a good team.

Astonishing Iceman is a bit of an anomoly to me. It's very good writing so far, I'm loving how Orlando writes Bobby, but I'm really pissed that they've chosen to stick with Romeo as his love interest after he got aged up just to come back and fuck Bobby and for them to throw Christian to the side. No mention of Christian at all at the hellfire gala, Emma is not concerned with where he is like she is with the Cuckoos which :/. I'm honestly afraid he's being dropped as a character which fucking sucks. The thing I hate the most about how Romeo is there is that Christian could literally be in his place and it would be perfect to me. He has a power set that could absolutely work for this situation just how Romeo's is working! Who knows, maybe this relationship will grow on me. We'll see.

Alpha Flight is really good, I haven't delved into the world of AF comics yet but from everything I know it seems perfect. My man was only there for two seconds in the first issue but we'll see if he gets any panel time as it goes on. Even if he doesn't though, yeah I'll be a little pissed but it'll still probably be a good read, and at least he'll have made any appearance at all since Marauders. Oh and Puck making fun of his new codename was funny. Fang really is a dumb name.

X-Force is still garbage, but this weird plot twist with Quentin (whatever it is??) has me gritting my teeth. fucking get your hands off my boy Percy he does not deserve this. Curious to see whats going on with the Colossus plotline, just wish it was happening in a better book.

Children of the Vault is amazing, never cared for Bishop and haven't read much Cable yet but I'm still all in on it. One of those books where you don't have to care much for the characters to recognize its quality. also fun fact: its written by the comic writing mentor of my comic writing mentor. lol

Dark X-Men wasn't as good as I had hoped it would be, but its still good. Though it kinda feels like it has too many characters in it so far, I'm loving the Maddie content and it had some great dark humor in it. LOVED the children of the atom bits, im so curious whats going to go down with Carmen and I'm just glad her friends and her relationship with Buddy got some panel time tbh.

last and the actual best: Realm of X was SO FUCKING GOOD. I've had a little soft spot in my heart for Curse since her story started in X-Men Green, and it seems like she's going to be a huge part of this arc rather than just tagging along as a little kid which is great. Sooraya fucking stole the show, this new take on her power signature is amazing. In general love all these women (Typhoid Mary is growing on me, I'm going to call the awful things she's done that made me want to hate her poor writing choices, especially since shes a survivor of such acts in the first place.) SO curious with what's going on with Yana, and I love how devoted she is to keeping Curse safe. DID NOT expect Saturnyne to be the main villain but im down for it tbh. This book is my favorite already and i just cant wait for hte next issue!

[sebastianshaw]

Disney Headcanons Meme // Pinocchio - How honest is your muse? What is their moral stance on white lies? (and/or) The Emperor’s New Groove - What animal would you associate your muse with? Why?

Pinocchio - How honest is your muse? What is their moral stance on white lies? Shaw's funny about honesty! Claremont, his creator, establishes very early that Shaw considers his word to be his bond, and is very serious about that. He also portrays Shaw as very manipulative and implicit liar, beguiling Senator Kelly into believing that the Sentinels (purchased from Shaw Industries, of course!) are a necessity, conveniently never mentioning he's a mutant himself! And being a two-faced mean girl, such as telling Selene how lovely she looks while thinking about what a witch she is. And you know what? This isn't contradictory. It doesn't come off as a mistake or an inconsistent character. It comes off as a guy who absolutely is fine with lying in general, but when he makes a point of giving his word on something, he also makes a point of keeping it, and he values it immensely. In fact, perhaps the fact he -is- comfortable with dishonesty (and certainly with white lies) is WHY he values and respects keeping one's word when one gives it so much. Particuliarly in an organization like the HFC where the members are all so duplicitous and ready to backstab each other, it's something that means a lot and can't be taken lightly as honesty might be among more heroic types. Also, while he'll lie and manipulate and so on, I notice he'll never actually try to misrepresent himself or what he's about. He may have a greater scheme going, but he's never pretending that he's NOT a greedy, untrustworthy fuck, and even takes pride in it, even refuting thanks or praise by pointing out he's doing something for his own damn gain. For instance, when Charles thanked him for his assistance, Shaw pointed out that "Please. I was on Sinister's list myself. Altruism has never been one of my vices, and I'm too old to take up new hobbies." And when Bishop sarcastically asked if Shaw was helping break up a mutant slave ring in Hong Kong "out of the goodness of your heart?" because he wisely suspected Shaw had ulterior motives, Shaw didn't pretend he DIDN'T and responded with a smile "Enlightened self-interest" Again, he'll trick people about what he's up to, but he's never going to try to present himself in a false light, if that makes sense. So, Shaw is someone who lies, but is very honest, and while that sounds like a paradox, it's actually really not once you read his stuff. The Emperor’s New Groove - What animal would you associate your muse with? Why?

I associate Shaw most instantly with a big black bull. Which, yes, I unfortunately know now is a porn term too -.- The things I find out via this muse! My boy Ferdinand at the wildlife sanctuary is totally his GOOD twin. Bears are also a big "that's a Shaw" for me, namely grizzlies and kodiaks because of their size (not so much polars because white) Also wild boars and draft horses, especially black ones. To a lesser degree, lions kinda remind me of him, because there's a human misconception that the one male in a pride is the super king who bosses around his harem of ladies but actually the lionesses are typically in charge. . .and I notice in fandom there's the misconception that Shaw was this tyrannical patriarch over the HFC who had all the women under his thumb and in his bed and like....yeah no it's very much NOT the case. Speaking of animals with harems though, elephant seals make me think of him because size + males will literally fucking squish any baby in their paths, including their own, to get to a mating female.

But it's not just big animals! Hamsters remind me A LOT OF HIM because they're incredibly greedy and grumpy little creatures who are also the most likely rodents to eat their young, and I liken him to a big black rat a lot. There was this one fantastic big black rat on TikTok, Mlem, who reminded me of him SO MUCH (RIP Mlem!)

Rats have a lot of un-Shaw traits, like being compassionate and communal and frequently good parents, but their hilarious levels of greed always put me in mind of him!

[hilarychuff]

ok just for the heck of it some sansa/jonsa au casting ideas that are very much up for discussion bc i haven’t figured them out enough on my own to hoard privately to make into one of my au graphics or i just probably never will make it into an au graphic but think it’s a fun idea

just dumping A BUNCH of them under the break (like basically everyone except those i am hoarding for later/have more concrete ideas about that i might actually execute in some way) enjoy this peek into my google docs xoxoxox

13 going on 30 Jenna - sansa Matty - jon  Cat - margaery???? cersei???

Panic Heather - sansa (alayne) Lilly - robin Ray - jon Bishop - harry Natalie - myranda Dodge -

OR

Panic Heather - arya Ray - gendry? Bishop - gendry?   Natalie - sansa Dodge - jon Dodge’s sister - bran

Hocus pocus au max - jon Allison - sansa Dani - arya Thackery binx - aegon? (or brandon?) Emily binx - rhaenys? (or lyanna?) Winifred sanderson - cersei Mary sanderson - tyrion??? Lmao Sarah sanderson - jaime lmao

Big little lies Daenerys is Renata (or is Cersei Renata?? Would leave space for dany to be celeste) Margaery is Madeline Jeyne is Celeste?? Daenerys is Celeste?? Sansa is Jane?? Arya is bonnie??????

Timeless Sansa is the historian Jon is the military guy Ygritte is his dead ex Sam is the science guy Theon is the villain guy who later becomes the love interest

Dead to me Jen - arya (not cold but very firmly not warm, resting bitch face, might kill sansa but also might kill for sansa) Judy - sansa (bleeding heart, bad men, so much guilt, more than a little confessy when she’s wronged someone, potential to be kinda gay!) Ted - ???? Steve - harry hardyng? Littlefinger himself? Ramsay? Joffrey? Maybe joffrey works best? Ben - gendry (work if he’s joffrey’s “half-brother” or w/e)

Saved au Mary - sansa Cassandra - arya Roland - willas? Tyrion? Hilary Faye - Margaery? Cersei? Patrick - jon? Pastor skip - ned Mary-Louise Parker - catelyn Dean - loras? Theon? Mitch - renly? Robb? Tia - Veronica -

Don’t look under the bed Frances - sansa Darwin - bran after he falls/is pushed Albert - robb? Joann - jon with modifications so that he is a potential love interest at the end for sansa Larry - theon Zoe - margaery? Parents - ned and cat

Hunger games Katniss - jon tbh lmao Peeta - sansa Gale - ygritte? daenerys? Prim - arya? Or does it have to be bran/rickon since jon is a boy?? Maybe it’s not a boy/girl tribute thing maybe it’s just any two tributes Haymitch - tyrion? Dontos? Mance rayder? Wyman manderly? Thoughts to be thunk here with who would be in what district if we want to really get crazy Effie - varys lmfao???? Finnick - jaime lannister Johanna - daenerys? Ooooh but could be brienne if you leaned into it maybe President snow - mad king aerys? Beetee - tyrion? Rue - satin?

Grease Sandy - sansa Danny - jon Kenickie - tormund? Mance? Roger - sam Other greasers - pyp, grenn, etc Rizzo - ygritte Frenchy - gilly? Val? Idk ygritte for rizzo is really the only one that resonates i just love grease Fuck actually ygritte as the rizzo to sansa’s sandy is so good that this is worth giving some more thought The wall boys are such lil fucking nerds that they feel right for the delinquent greasers, too Although lbr jon is more of an alfalfa in the he-man woman haters’ club than he is a danny zucko Theon is more of a danny zucko but i don’t know if i want this for theonsa Anyway sansa’s whole family moved and robb is now doing athlete shit with whoever that athlete sandy briefly dates is (harry hardyng?) Is chacha val?????? Maybe arya falls in with the pink ladies first and then sansa gets sort of reluctantly dragged along Arya sings sandra dee at first and then when rizzo starts to join in she’s like wait only i get to make fun of sansa

Mama mia Meryl streep - sansa Pierce brosnan - jon Swedish guy - theon Colin firth - loras tyrell Christine baranski - margaery tyrell Other friend - jeyne poole LMFAO catelyn as cher i just cackled why is that so funny even though it doesn’t make sense

Harry Potter Sirius - jon James - Robb Lily - Jeyne westerling (except is she maybe more of a james figure politically) Petunia (but nice) - sansa Peter - theon Remus - samwell Tarly Vernon (but just dating) - Harry Hardyng Madame hooch - arya Weasleys - sam and gilly

New girl Jess - sansa Cece - margaery Nick - jon Schmidt - robb Winston - theon

10th kingdom Virginia - sansa The wolf - jon Jon larroquette - ned

Goodbye earl Maryanne - sansa Wanda - jeyne Earl - ramsay

Bring it on (for the gays) Torrance - sansa Torrance’s lil brother - arya Big red - margaery // cersei? The clovers - the sand snakes Missy - mya stone? // margaery? Cliff - gendry // willas/loras? Aaron - daenerys

Teenage bounty hunters Sterling - sansa Blair - arya Debbie - cat Dana - lysa Bowser - the hound?

Buffy the vampire slayer Buffy - arya Cordelia - sansa Willow - bran Xander - jon Angel - gendry Amy - jojen (or is jojen tara?) Dawn - rickon (robb is already away at college?)

[pissjesus]

Have you listened to The Stuart Podcast? I haven’t until now because I thought it would be sorta stupid in a bad way and I don’t like Kevin Bishop’s voice for 2D. It turns out it’s sorta stupid in a good way and though I’ll never love Bishop’s voice, it’s not bothering me as much as usual. I find it really amusing and it got a laugh out of me 🙈

What do you think of it? (Assuming you have listened to it.)

I just listened to all of them cuz I also haven’t for the same reasons, and yeah that was pretty stupid.

Some of them are kinda funny but mostly the combination of Kevin Bishop’s voice and how stupid they write him makes me want to hit him over the head with a frying pan. Perhaps I’ll keep up with them though, since they’re so short, and hopefully some of them might make me chortle, perhaps chuckle. Guffaw even

The idea of 2D starting a “podcast” where he just chews into the mic and falls down the stairs for 15 seconds at a time is pretty funny though

[simp-for-enrico-maxwell]

Rambling about my Hellsing ship

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So, this is just some sort an explanation why I ship Vanity (my OC/self-insert) with Enrico Maxwell, and how their relationship can even work. I really wanted to write something like this for a while, yet I have been putting it aside till now. But hey, at least I finally did it, right?

Anyways! If you are interested in Vanity or if you want to know more about the lore around her - feel free to ask me! Because there is A LOT stuff, and I feel like it can be pretty confusing sometimes.

Also, this post is kinda based on my headcanons of Enrico and how I see him, and portrait him, okay? So please keep that in mind.

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How did they even get closer to each other?

Well, this will be a little bit harder to explain since it all started with my Hellsing parody I have been publishing on Wattpad in Czech. (One day I would really like to come up with translation, but that will be a real challenge. Especially because many puns are based on the language so the punch lines wouldn't be funny anymore.)

Long story short: The parody (which's humour is - unintentionally - kinda similar to Abridged version of Hellsing) revolves around "Exchange project" (during the year 1997) between Hellsing and Iscariot, where each organisation sends one member to the other organisation for a month. And meanwhile Iscariot sends Anderson so he could sabotage Hellsing/find out some secret information, Integra decides to punish "dear Catholics" by sending them Vanity.

Yup, yup, there is no worse punishment than an annoying, sadomasochistic, horny, and vulgar vampire that has problem with listening to authorities.

You can definitely imagine the disaster that Vanity caused; but she also helped with catching members of some sort of "Italian vampire mafia" and actually saved Enrico's life. (Yeah, yeah, kinda overused trope... Yet I think not many times author used vampire smashing another vampire with a fire poker, and accidentally hitting bishop as well in their stories, right?)

And Maxwell could deny it as much as he wanted but he got interested in this little vampire disaster, not only because of her looks, but also because of her personality. And he slowly fell for her.

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We are the opposites, and yet we're both same

Maybe it's not visible on the first sight but more you look into their backstories, you will realise there have more things in common than you'd thought. We could definitely start with being mentally ill; yet the funny thing is that they can recognise that the other one is fucked up, but aren't able to recognise it on themselves. (And they really don't talk about this so they just think it. - Personally, I find it hilarious.)

Both of them had awful childhood which kinda formed them, yet the difference is that Vanity wasn't mentally alright from the start. (Which kinda helped her to get through all this in one piece, and she just calls her her early years as "shitty era".) - And funnily enough since they both lack emphaty, it's easier for them to talk about this - no empty apologies, no feeling sorry, no blunt sentences... They just talk about this sometimes, letting the words to slowly disappear in the air.

Which gets us to the silence they often share. There is no need for them to talk because no-one of them will ask stupid questions, and none of them will try to bring out the emotions and memories.

Unless Enrico breaks down and reveals a bit about his early years. (I headcanon Enrico with lots of mental issues, don't mind me.) But even then Vanity doesn't ask any more questions and doesn't pity him. She is just here, and Maxwell really appreciates because he wouldn't like to be pitied and addressed as "weak". (And even though Vanity enjoys making fun of him, she would never cross the line, bringing this stuff up.)

Both of them also think about themselves that they are better than everyone and anyone; and they tend to act like that. Which is kinda funny - bishop despising vampires, seeing them as a scum, and vampire who considers people as something fragile and weak...

You can definitely image, how they saw each other as a selfish, prideful jerk, when their worlds "collided". But in quite short time they both realised how similar they are, and how each of them basically built a barricade around themselves to prevent outer world to get closer.

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Just let me to give you the freedom to dream

Yes, I used "The other side" from The Greatest Showman as a title here, let me be.

Everyone can see how Enrico is devoted to Catholic church and how he cares about his reputation here... But is he really such a faithful believer? - Well, not really...

I feel like the Church is the last resort for him. The only place where he got accepted, and where he could build a career, get power, and possibility to show everyone around he is more than a mere bastard. That's why he is kinda scared to step out of his "cage", because he could lose things most precious to him - power and respect.

But Vanity is one of few people who don't see bishop/archbishop when she looks at him. - She actually sees "Enrico", and she really doesn't care about the status or such meaningless things. That's why, when this vampire is around, Maxwell can actually be who he truly is, without any fear of being judged nor abandoned.

And this also applies on NSFW activities which I won't mention now, but let's say that you may expect some post about it later. - Let me just mention, that I see Enrico as someone who would be able to break the promise of celibacy, if he really wanted and if it stayed as a secret...

Even though in this case it's more like an open secret. - And that's another reason why Anderson dislikes Vanity so much, not only she's “a protestant vampire” but she also seduced Maxwell, and (in Anderson's eyes) she forced him into these unholy activities. - Little did he know that dear Enrico was always kinda kinky, and he simply pretended not to be.