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#wouldnt you want to spend time with someone you love you know
frogathy · 1 year
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just talked to my counselor about being on the spectrum and my mom understands now and i am just so relieved its insane like everything makes sense it is so insane and like i dont have to feel like theres anything wrong with me anymore its just hoohkhjgghdhj
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toastsnaffler · 24 days
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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soupyspaghetti · 2 years
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just venting again lmao ignore this
#personal#vent#cw suicidal ideation#i just cant take this anymore#literally the only thing keeping me alive rn is the fact that my roommate cant afford to live here without me#i feel like i dont exist like i feel like i mean nothing to anyone and thats no ones fault bc like all my friends are kind and good#but im never going to be more than someones good friend like im never going to be anyones first priority or anything#i just get to watch everyone around me get tired of me when they find Real Superior Love#and forget all the bullshit they said about platonic love being important and undervalued#time and time again i just keep running into the same situation and im so tired#i know im being selfish and i should just be happy for people but when do i get to be truly loved in a way i can actually really feel#i think maybe im incapable of feeling loved or of feeling real love beyond normal friendship#and ppl keep saying yeah i understand yeah i get it im the same way and then i watch them fall in love and be happy like no actually#we are not the same you do not understand how this feels for me im sorry to be a bitch but u are not in the same position as me#i know im not some kind of special uniquely broken person but im just so tired#i just spend every day wanting to die so bad im just empty and lonely and miserable all the time#and work is awful bc im just bad at it#and i dont have any passions so trying to find a job that doesnt make me want to die just isnt possible#idk i just want to not be alive anymore but again im safe and fine#bc i cant kill myself bc then my roommate wouldnt be able to afford the apartment#anyway. sorry for being fucking dramatic and annoying im at the end of my fucking rope for no good reason at all#i just want to feel like a human being that exists and has any sort of real identity or self concept why is that too much to ask#also im like filled with anger and rage all the time and it is so so much effort not to just be a raging asshole to everyone always#like im so angry i just want to like punch things and scream and yell and be angry but i cant be angry at anyone but me#anyway sorry im like losing my mind dkdjdj but ill be fine im sure
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readychilledwine · 2 months
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Mister Grumpy Pantseses
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Summary - All you wanted was a day in the vegetable garden with your husbands. Your husbands just wanted to spend the day at each other's throats.
Warnings - a bit of a communication issue trope, grumpy sunshine, reader is Tamlin's sister and uses one of his tactics, jealousy, name calling, Fluff, reader is a literal ray of joy
Prompt - Day 5 - Favorite Tropes
A/N - Happy @polyacotarweek day 5! I am running a little behind, so my other fave trope will be up later, but enjoy a little grumpy azris with their sunshine reader with a bit of miscommunication
💕Poly+ACOTAR Week Masterlist💕
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 “Fucking asshole.”
“Azriel!”
“Bastard.”
“Eris!” You pouted at your mates, sighing as they glared at each other. "Can we please have a nice breakfast? We have so much work to do in the garden if we want the vegetables ready in time to take to the hungry. We need to have energy."
Azriel grumbled an agreement while Eris rolled his eyes. “I am more than happy to spend time with you, foxling. It is that one I can't stand the sight of right now.”
"Eris!"
“Eris, our mate is asking you to stop being an entitled, self righteous, snake for one day. Surely you can handle that.”
“Azriel!”
“You're the one who set me off this morning, Azriel. Must you always run around brooding?” You felt yourself slowly sinking into your chair. The males you love most were both tired, so very tired. They were stressed from their duties and all you wanted was to love and help them.
They had not spent time with just each other in a few weeks. Eris had been too heavily scented on their last night together. It had been Azriel's way of telling you hello, but it lingered, dancing into the air during breakfast at the Forest House the next day. You had glamored it well enough from everyone but his mother. She seemed to see through you and Eris. Almost like she knew you two were hiding something or someone. Eris had caved, telling her everything about Azriel. Her advice had been simple, protect him. 
And Eris had taken that as, “Avoid him.” 
You looked between your two glaring mates, heartbroken at how their sadness was turning to grumpiness. “I'm going to go to the garden. Maybe you two should talk.” You left before one of them could respond then smiled, warding them in the cabin. If they wouldn't talk willingly, you'd force them to!
Azriel glared at Eris, and the heir returned it fully. “Our mate, our beautiful, selfless, and kind mate is outside by herself. Working in that damned garden. Because you want to be a grumpy asshole.”
Eris looked shocked, eyes wide as his jaw dropped. “I haven't done anything! I tried to greet you last night, and you ignored me in favor of y/n. Then this morning you wouldnt even kiss me good morning!”
“Can you blame me? She at least answers when I write.” Azriel watched the hit land, watched as Eris seemed to deflate. 
“I missed you. Regardless of how you feel, I missed you.” Eris stood to go out the door and jumped back as he was shocked. “Oh you have got to be kidding me.”
Azriel felt his face fall as well, walking to the after he did and jumping back as he was shocked as well. “Took that straight out of her brother's book, didn't she?” 
Eris couldn't help but laugh. “She doesn't even know he did that. I keep her here and away from him and Rhysand lately. It would break her heart all over again."
Azriel then began to laugh too, “She hates when we are mean to each other.”
“Because the world should be sunshine and rainbows.”
“And we are grumpy.” 
The ward seemed to lessen as the two males laughed before moving to the large sliding door that overlooked your garden. You were laughing, the rays of light seeming to want to follow and dance with you. You were such a breath of air. Untouched by the cruelty of the world and sheltered. It had turned you into the happiest female the two of them had ever met. The glass was always half full in your mind if you didn't decide that it was already running over and just a teeny tiny cup. 
Being paired with them, two grumpy and brooding males, seemed unfair to you most days. You were always laughing, always making jokes, and for 300 years, Eris had protected you from it being any other way. When he had taken you to a diplomatic meeting pre-Amarantha though, that had all changed. 
The bond snapping between you and Azriel had been difficult, life changing, and rewarding. He pursued you, regardless of your known status as Eris's wife and mate, and his pursuit paid off. It had kept you safe from Amarantha, and once they all had been freed, the bond between him and Eris snapped. 
That had been a different journey. The two of them were constantly butting heads, constantly arguing, constantly making you cry. It all ended though when Eris had been brave enough to bluntly address the situation. He had pulled Azriel to him, crashing his lips down on his, and the rest became history. Where everyone else saw a fight during the High Lord's meeting, you saw foreplay. 
Azriel sighed, watching you, and then turned back to Eris. “Why did you avoid me? I worried I had hurt you.” 
“You scented me too heavily. She could hardly hide it.”
Azriel nodded, a scarred hand then taking the other male's calloused one. “Did he hurt you?”
“No. She focused on hiding it from him.”
“I am sorry.”
Eris whispered the words back before leaning his head on Azriel's shoulder. “She's so beautiful and happy.”
“You are also beautiful,” Azriel looked him over. “Though, you are as she says, a grumpy pants.”
Eris huffed. “Odd. She says the same of you.” The ward seemed to drop fully. Allowing Azriel to reach his hands out to door and slide it open. “Brat.” He muttered.
“You'll take care of that later.”
“And you will help?”
You smiled as your mates walked out before jumping with glee. “Eris! There's a bunny!”
“Yeah? I'm sure we have many bunnies, my love.”
You glared at him before turning to Azriel. “Azriel!” You paused dramatically. “There's a bunny!”
The shadowsinger looked to the heir, a small smirk on his face as you stuck your tongue out at him. “Show me, starlight.”
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General Taglist:
@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria
Poly+ACOTAR Week Taglist
@amara-moonlight @toporecall @littlestw01f @prettylittlewrites @anuttellaa @nayaniasworld @123345566
Ps- I had to fix the tags! I apologize!
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deformedcat · 3 months
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The 5 love language
pairing: artist male y/n x childhood friend oc
warning: vomiting, stalking, obsessive behaviour, gore, open ending, not proof read, v rushed 📣📣
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Valentine's Day, a day to spend with your loved ones, something you didn't have.
Forget spending Valentine's day with anyone- you had work at the convenience store. Sure, you're an artist, but money won't magically appear onto your kitchen counter.
Despite that, it didn't bother you as much as the sight you saw around you that day. (though bother might not be fitting, more like envious) There were couples everywhere on dates, holding hand and showing their affection towards each other. Bleh. (translation: when is it my turn?)
Either way, you could complain all you want but life still goes on. Sighing, you walk towards your apartment, staring down at your phone to avoid the sights of couples. It wasn't until an envelope at your door caught your attention.
The envelope had a simple yet design with a heart shape sticker on it, you hesitantly take it and enter your apartment.
After sitting on your couch for abit, you cautiously and gradually opens the letter, wary of any potential pranks, but nothing happened.
"Dear y/n
Happy Valentine's day, well, it's not Valentine's day yet but it will be soon.
I've always had a big crush on you, but i never gotten the chance to confess to you directly. Truth to be told, i'm not a courageous person, but you give me the strength to do so today :).
You are the most strongest, admirable person I've met. Whenever i listen to your music, I'm hit in awe with how talented you are. I fall even harder everytime i see you. Your presence is already enough for me to keep going.
Do you know the saying "the 5 love language"? They are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. I would love to know which one is your love language, but instead of asking, I want to let you experience all of them. I aim to make you feel loved in every way possible, starting with words of affirmation!"
..Ah.
A secret admirer,,?
You honestly didn't know something so cliche that would be done in a high school romance movie would happened to yourself, in real life.
The rest of the kettle had you fuming like a kettle, was this person a fan of poets? They sure had their way with words.
As sweet as the letter sounds, you couldnt help but feel crept out by this, how much does this person knows you? Do you even know this person?
You could only hope that it's not someone creepy, like a stalker.. You opened your phone and take a picture of the letter, sending it to your childhood bestfriend.
y/n:
photo.jpeg
hyeon:
?
what's this?
y/n:
love letter,
saw it in front of my
apartment
hyeon:
does someone have a lil crush on little y/n :0?
y/n:
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hyeon:
Daniel's got a competitor 😄
y/n:
NEVER
im forever loyal to daniel
👎👎
hyeon:
haha
why are you showing me this?
y/n:
idk
felt a lil crept out
dont u think its weird??
how did they know where i lived? idfk who they are
hyeon:
hmm, thats true.
maybe it's a neighbour? they mentioned they could hear your music, they might be living around your area ?
y/n:
that make it even worse
hyeon:
lock your doors and windows, you wouldnt want to entice your little 'admirer' to break in do you?
y/n:
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gtg, bye
hyeon:
i was just joking D:!
I'll be back from Russia soon, i promise <3
y/n
mm, maybe dont.
take care tho
A few days went by and nothing happened, you were beginning to wonder if the letter was just a prank from the kids around the area.
Regardless, you didn't care, you were to tired from your work ealier. Getting yelled at by your manager in front of the customers, for something rather silly. (you looked really tired but manager took it as "mf u dont like ur work isit) This was far fron the first time, and not the worst thing that had happened, but it didn't make it less draining.
you went into your apartment, turned on the light and fell right onto your couch. Rent was due in 3 weeks,, you were mentally preparing yourself to starve for the next few days to be able to have a roof under your head.
everything was tiring you out, and you just want a car to come running into you already, but the house isn't going to clean itself. You had to do chores because you have been putting off chores for a few days now. It's going to pile up the more you tell yourself "i'll do it tomorrow." so you pushes your body off the couch to start.
maybe you can start by taking out the trash.
problem was, the trash was missing. you stared at the empty, new plastic bag over the trash you didn't remember replacing. are you hallucinating?
you went over the sink to wash the dishes, to find them cleaned and kept neatly inside the cabinet. huh.
you must be going crazy, you were sure you did not wash those dishes nor keep them. even if you did, you wouldn't store them as neat as this.
are you going insane?
you quickly check the laundry, and sure enough, they were all done up. the dirty clothes were washed, the one that you didn't bother folding was folded and put away in your bedroom. Neatly.
was your landlord here this morning? Even if he was, he wouls never done something like this. He only ever told you to stop being so lazy and clean the messy apartment. He even once demanded you to clean everything up while be watched but thats it.
you hit your head against the wall, hard, to check if you had not actually fallen asleep on the couch and this was all just a dream. you winced at the pain on your forehead, that sure gave you an answer that youre not hallucinating.
maybe you're just overworked..?
you sat on your bed, noticing a familiar envelope with another sticker on your pillow.
what the fuck.
you opened the envelope, which in it read,
"dear y/n,
Surprise, it's an act of service this time! you're so hardworking that you tire yourself out,, so i decided to do somethinf to lighten the load for you. Remember to take a break when you need it okay?
I also cooked dinner for you, it's your favourite :). They're in the fridge, please enjoy, it's not healthy to starve yourself.
Eternally yours,
Your secret admirer 💌"
you wanted to kill yourself.
your stalker is in fact, a stalker.
how did they get in your house?
how did they know your habits?
you didn't even bother eating the food in the fridge, letting it sit there as you spend the night searching for cameras in your house.
y/n:
hyeon,
they broke in
the mf that sent the letter broke in
photo.jpeg
hyeon:
broke in?
how? didn't i told you to lock the doors and windows?
y/n:
idfk hyeon
they broke in and like
did my chores
and even cook dinner for me
saying its an act of service
hyeon:
are you safe?
y/n:
i dont know am i
i know this sounds weird af but im
not joking
i dont feel safe in my house rn
hyeon:
call the police.
y/n:
with what evidence
tell them that someone sent two envelope, broke into my bouse, did my chores and cooked a meal for me??
ill sound like a maniac
then they'll send me to a mental hospital
hyeon:
you'll never know unless you try,
y/n, this sound dangerous, your life could be on the line bere.
please just call the police and see if they can do anything about it.
do you still have that previous letter with you?
y/n:
yeah
hyeon:
show that to them, including the new one.
y/n:
ok
ill try
hyeon:
okay.
i wish i wasnt in russia right now.
im so sorry, please wait a bit more, ill come back soon.
update me whenever you can.
y/n:
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dont be sorry,
thank you.
you never had a peaceful sleep for the next few days, the only thing keeping you sane is messaging hyeon everyday.
you have been so worn out from what happened that night. you had gone to the police, but after they didnt found anything suspicious in your house besides the two letter, they then left and told you to contact them if anything happened.
useless. you texted to hyeon.
neither did the police nor you could find any hidden cameras around your house, but that didnt mean you were safe. they could missed them, or not search at the right place.
you were sitting on your couch, scrolling down your phone to distract what had happened. suddenly, someone knocked on your door.
you groaned, thinking it was your landlord, you got up, walked to your door and peek from the peephole. nobody was there.
you opened the door slowly, immediately notices the stench behind the door. sitting on the floor in the dark hallway were two boxes wrapped like gifts with a gold ribbon.
crimson liquid was seeping through the boxes, on top of one of the box was an envelope, the one you had received a few days prior.
you suppressed the urge to throw up as you felt your breath getting quicker and shallower. you opened your phone and called the police and messaged hyeon
y/n
hyeon
when the polices arrived, they opened the boxes and envelope. one of the polices seems panickes and quickly rushes to you bringing the envelope, making you read it.
"Dear y/n,
Two, the number of hands one would need to do a heart, i thought it would be romantic to give you two gifts. After all, what's Valentine's day without gifts?
I've seen the way those two treated you, i couldnt stand watching them mistreated you. How prideful that human trash must be to push all his mistakes onto you then punishes you? Just because he's a manager? You don't deserve that, dear, so, this is for you.
And that bastard landlord of yours, the way he stares at you and put his hand at you is so disgusting. If he's gonna look at you like that, he don't deserve his eyes. Just because he's your landlord, does not mean he can put his hand on you like that, so i cut them off.
i hope you enjoy the gifts, dear. I guess this can be considered to be acts of service too? I look foward to spending some quality time with you. I can't wait to finally have you in my arm.
ps. inside the hand of your manager is a necklace. <3
Eternally yours,
Your secret admirer 💌"
you glanced at the content of the boxes, puking at the side after seeing the blood hand of your manager and your landlord's head with his eyes gouge out.
you felt helpless.
you had nowhere to go.
you didnt wanna stay here anymore, you dont feel safe anywhere.
you just want to die.
as the police patting your backs and gives you a bottle of water, you receives a text message on his phone.
hyeon:
hey, i'm here now.
i'm sorry i couldn't reply to you earlier, i just arrived in south korea.
y/n:
hyeon thank god
please
can i stay at your place for a while
i cant stay here anymore
hyeon:
Of course, i'll pick you up.
when you finally met hyeon, you collapsed into the taller man's arm, letting the tears out you have been holding in as hyeon holds you close, embracing you in much needed warmth and comfort.
"here," hyeon placed down a plate of fried rice in front of you, coincidentally it being your favourite food but you dont have any appetite after what happened.
"i can tell you havent been eating well, it's all i have at the moment, but its better than nothing."
you appreciated him, but didnt wanna eat anything at the moment, the sight of your landlors was still fresh in your mind.
"thanks, but i feel really sick right now." you felt bad for putting hyeon through the trouble, only to turn it down in the end. "i'll heat it up and have it tomorrow."
"maybe you at least drink some water?"
"sure." Hyeon was already pouring a warm cup of water for you, you were glad you at least had hyeon to come to.
you two spent a while in an awkward silence, it was like hyeon would not ask what had happened until you were ready to talk about it yourself.
"do you have work later?" you asked to distract yourself.
No, hyeon had alarms around the house. He would be notified of any suspicious activities detected.
"no, my manager said he'll take care of it."
"oh.."
then the silence were back again, until hyeon opened his mouth.
"are you going to sleep now?"
"I.." you were sure you would not be able to sleep tonight, you do not know where that stalker was, what if they too breaks into hyeon's house? will you put him in danger as well?
Even so, you're still on edge.
"do you want to share a room?"
"what?"
"you don't have to sleep alone when i'm right here for you to cuddle with!"
you sighed, "hyeon-"
"no really, maybe im just overprotective but i really dont want to leave you alone. We can catch up on the past month, and maybe if i talk enough, it might put you to sleep?"
you cried into his arms for the second time that night.
you could not remember the last time you was help to sleep, you didnt think there was ever a time actually. when he slept besides hyeon, the latter would always wrap his body around you like a koala.
not that it surprised you, hyeon had always been handsy with you ever since the two was young, but only around him.
whenever they ate together, hyeon would reach his hand out to wipe a grain of rice or a drop of sauce off your face.
whenever they play fight, hyeon would always hug you as a way to "immobilize you". when hyeon suggested decorating the house for Valentine's day to take your mind off of things, he would hold your hand and guide you through tying ribbons and hanging decorations.
And when you still couldnt stop the anxiety from rising, hyeon would hold you so close, no matter what time it is, he would remind you to breathe, and prepare plastic bags for you in case you pukes.
Heck, he even made sure that you had fallen asleep first before he would.
you felt safe by hyeon's side.
On the morning of Valentine's day, hyeon was still asleep which was expected, he had waited for you to fall asleep the night before.
You carefully and quietly slipped out of hyeon's tight hold, and headed towards the washroom, you decided to clean hyeon's office then cook a meal for him.
walking toward hyeon's office, you noticed a few paperwork on his table. It seems like it was the paperwork hyeon's had been doing last evening.
His handwriting was exceptionally neat, it had been quite some time you last seen it, but you could remember envying the man for having such a neat writing.
you noticed a half opened file on the floor, you picked it up and read the content of the files out of curiousity
they were mostly a bunch of statistics and numbers, percentages and whatnot. you wanted to stop reading but you felt drawn in his handwriting. To you, it looked familiar, like you've seen it before.
you stared longer at the words until you realized,
realized why he found it familiar.
you flipped to the next page, why did hyeon have your landlord personal informations?
you felt arms hugging you from behind, "what are you doing, snooping around my work like that? what if it's confidential?'
you didnt answer.
"y/n?" hyeon seemed to noticed you tensing up, "sorry, did i scare you that badly? you just seemed so focused on those papers, i just had to-"
"Hyeon."
"Yeah?"
You didnt know what to say, you did not know what to ask. You didnt know how to ask him.
you wish you were just dreaming.
Because.. wasnt hyeon in russia all this time?
"y/n?"
Hyeon couldnt have been in south korea. He couldnt have went into your apartment. He couldnt have place those.. letters abd boxes in your apartment if he wasnt even in the same country as you
ah.
"y/n, are you okay?"
"hyein,, can i take a look at your passport?"
"my passport? why?"
"i just want to.. confirm something."
Hyeon looked at you for a while, before letting go of you "sure, let me go get it."
As he went back to his room, you held ontobthe table tightly to avoid collapsing.
its okay.
you just had to look into his passport, then you would realize how dumb you are to suspect hyeon, the person that sheltered you when you had nowhere to go. the man that's your childhood friend who would sacrifice anything for you-
Hyeon returned, with his passport in hand. "here you go." you were about to take the passport from hum until you saw it
or more like the lack of it.
instead of handing the passport to you normally, hyeon had flipped it to the latest page. Hyeon had supposedly flew to russia first of december last year.
The last time he travelled, according to the passport,
was back in june.
"you were wondering about this, werent you?" hyeon stepped closer towards you, "when did it click?"
"your handwriting you bastard."
"ah right, that was my mistake, but dont you think it took too long for you to notice?"
Hyeon took the papers one by one, putting them together neatly, as if he was having the most normal and mundane conversation.
As if he wasnt the one that sent you all of that letters.
As if he was not the one who broke into your apartment.
As if he didnt sent that severed head and hands to you..
"i guess i should expected that, after all, i'm never the one whom you'll ever have eyes for, am i?" he smiled bitterly.
"Hyeon.." you wanted to be proven wrong, you wanted to be wrong so bad.
you wanted to believe hyeon was not capable of this.
you wanted to believe him, your closest friend, would never do such thing.
instead, you received a hug that felt so cold.
you wanted to strangle hyeon so bad. you wanted to strangle yourself.
you just felt so weak.
as much as you wanted to avoid it, the clues were all right in front of you, mocking you.
there was no one in the world who had heard and appreciated your music, who observed and knew so much of your lifestyle and habits besides ivan.
when the puzzle started coming together, you could feel yourself falling apart.
"so y/n, please tell me:
what is your favourite love language?"
you just want to die.
[draft messages]
y/n:
thanks for taking me in
im glad i hv u in my lufe
you better not tell anyone i said this,
but i dont think theres anyone else i trust
anyone else more than you
thank you.
a/n: zzzzz goodnight (disappears)
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cxffecoupx · 1 month
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love languages: yoon jeonghan
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yoon jeonghan x gn reader comfort (a lil bit), jeonghan and reader are a menace (at the end) warnings: none word count: 503 author's notes: not my best... this could have been better🤧 but i really do hope you like it
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words of affirmation:–
there are times when you doubt yourself. everyone has it too. that's how jeonghan tries to comfort you everytime. youre the light of his life. youre the one person he loves to see every morning and every night. to see someone like that so down, so blue... it breaks his heart. he always rushes to comfort you when you're miserable. he's always the first to cheer you on when you decide to do something. he's always the one who hugs you tight and congratulate you when you achieve something. jeonghan loves to use his words to express how much he cherishes you, and you wouldnt have it any other way.
jeonghan silently listens to you, rubbing your back soothingly as you mumble on and on about work exhaustion. his tshirt is wet with your tears and your nose is full of snot, but he only embraces you warmly as he says, "it may seem very difficult right now, but you'll be okay soon. i know you got it. just believe in yourself." "what if i cant?" "then, i'll do it for the two of us."
quality time:–
jeonghan comes up with different activities to do out of nowhere. going on a walk, learning pottery, cooking meals, grocery shopping, cycling,, the list goes on. the reason? he wants to spend time with you. it's very hectic with both of your works and assignments, so he plans different things to do with you instead of just staying home. this way, youre not wasting away precious time on your phone. instead, you're both giggling, laughing, gossiping, ranting. we're making memories, you know? that's what he says.
"...what is this," you ask, scanning the huge chart in jeonghan's hands. "this is our weekly chart that i prepared, about what we should do each day of the week. mondays, we go to the park. tuesdays, we go for cycling. wednesdays are for shopping. thursdays can be games, i guess. on fridays, we got out for dinner. saturdays we cook dinner. and sundays, we go grocery shopping.
small acts of violence:–
jeonghan specializes in being a menace. and you're his apprentice now. together, you're just double trouble. fret not, its nothing too bad. simple, plain pranks like drawing on a sleeping soonyoung's face with marker, scaring seungkwan, giving chan oreos filled with toothpaste. innocent, harmless stuff like that. what han likes is how you're always up for something like this. what han loves is how you're quick to stop it when you feel like its too much. but the pranks don't end with others. you're both equally evil to play with each other too. changing phone password, hiding your favourite cup. jeonghan absolutely loves that you're always up for a challenge with him.
"yoon jeonghan," you glare at the man sitting on the chair with a shit-eating grin. he starts to run as you approach. "how dare you put a moaning audio as my ringtone and then call me??!" you shout as you chase after him.
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iouinotes · 5 months
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"The Cole Effect" | Cole Walter
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pairing: Cole Walter x female!reader
show: My life with the Walter Boys
warnings: smut, but just a little (I had to after seeing him in that last scene)
word count: 4k
summary: Cole asks the reader out on a date and after he convinced her, they spend a fun (if you know you know) evening together.
a/n: please pretend that his restored car has backseats...thanks (also I'm sorry for the way this ff ended. I wanted to write smut all the way, but it just didnt feel right anymore after the first half. So please enjoy the rest of it and bear with me...)
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"So, when do I pick you up?"
He leans against my locker, looking over my shoulder and reading my notes. "Cole, how many times do I have to tell you? I dont have the time and patience, I'm sorry-" sighing I look at him, studying his smug grin.
"You have the chance to get to know me better. In my opinion, that sounds like the perfect way to spend the afternoon." He smiles at me, his eyes scanning my face.
The fact is, I didnt want to fall in love with him and I knew, if I would let him take me out, it wouldnt turn out for the best. Well, mostly for me. He would probably date the next woman, that would catch his eye. And I would be on his list, sitting at home on the weekends and waiting for him to call. No, that wasnt how I planned to spend my time.
I mean, he obviously is very handsome, blonde hair, dreamy eyes, pink lips that somehow always look kissable. And to be honest, sometimes when I get lost in a daydream, forgetting about the math class, he appears in my head. Always smiling as bright as the sun. I dont know what it is, but something about him is so attractive, I dont even know how to discribe it.
Of course, I'm not the only one who feels that sort of attraction. His magical appearance, how he talks, walks, smiles, flirts.
It´s called "the Cole effect". For most of the time, I didnt really get it. But as soon as his eyes landed on me, as soon as he talked to me, trust me, I got it. He is charming, enchanting, funny and he has a way with words that makes it addictive to hear his voice.
It´s crazy, but it is reality.
When I look at him now, I feel another pair of eyes watching me. Erin. The girl, who is in a on-off realtionship with him. Cole has many women, who want him, not just because he is popular. But because he is what every girl dreams of. Thats the problem, he is a dream till he gets bored and then you find yourself in your own nightmare.
"Its just- I cant. Also, there is a really pretty and wonderful girl, standing right next to you, thats been waiting for you to notice her." I never unterstood how Cole could want someone else, when Erin existed.
"Well, Im currently talking to her, so I know when to pick her up." His eyes stay clued to me. Confused, I draw my eyebrows together. "But Erin is this way-" I turn my head to look at her, but at the same second I feel a finger tenderly turning my head back. I freeze, butterflies awake in my stomach and I have to keep myself from looking too flustered by his gesture. Of course, my body has its mind of his own, so I feel my cheeks turn red.
At that, he grins. "I know you feel it, beautiful. One date, thats all Im asking for. I promise, you will have a good time." Im too caught up in my emotions to think reasonable. So I quietly nod and feel myself holding my breath, when he leans down to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. His finger again, linger slightly on my cheek.
"See you then, 9 o'clock. I'll be on time, you have my word." Winking, he turns around and walks down the aisle.
Finally I get to breath again.
☀️☀️☀️☀️
Why the fuck did I agree to this? Standing infront of my mirror, I look at my summer dress, warm yellow colour with beautiful, little sunflowers on it. It was the dress, I got a lot of compliments for. But then again, what was my intention with wearing this dress? Im not sure.
While I pick out a golden necklace in the shape of a sun and put on a few bracelets, I leave my hair down and the way it always is. I don't want him to think that I'm trying too hard.
He knows the truth anyway.
A few minutes later, I hear the doorbell ring and with one last, deep breath I open the door. If I'm honest, I would have liked to close it straight away. Because there's no way to avoid staring at him the whole time when he looks like that. Wearing blue jeans, slightly oversize, a white tank top and his red jersey. He looks hot, in a way I want to spend the rest of the day, riding something other than his car. God, help me survive this.
To my suprise, he is quiet the gentleman. He compliments my dress, he holds the door open to his car, he lets me pick the music and as I sit in the passanger seat, listining to Taylor Swift, I smile to myself. Unfortunetely I´m not very subtle about it, because he asks me right away about my good mood.
"I dont know, Im just having a good time, I guess." I look at him, while he is focusing on the road. I see one of his hand rising, so he dramatically holds onto his chest.
"I'm hurt. Did you think, I was that boring?" Laughing, I shake my head. "No, its not that. To best honest, I didnt expect myself to enjoy today." I turn my head and look at my lap, fiddling with my fingers. "Why not?" I see his head looking in my direction, a curious tone in his voice.
"I´ve had a hard time this last year, everything with school and you are- I mean, I dont know what intention do you have with me? Im not a one night stand type of person, I want something real. You know, like in the love songs, the real feelings, a real relationship. With a person, who wants me the same way, I feel about them. I think, thats the reason Im not sure, if this-" I gesture between us "is a good idea."
He´s quite for a moment and I feel more embarassed, the more seconds pass.
"Im sorry. I didnt mean that we´re going to be, you know like a thing. I respect your decision to spend your time with other girls, I didnt mean it is something bad. Its just-" He finishes my sentence. "-not for you. I know." His eyes are on the road, but I see his hands nervously tapping the wheel.
"Sorry, if I just crashed the vibe. I didnt intend to do it." I look at my hands. "No, its okay. Dont be sorry. I like your honesty. You know, you state your point. Thats good."
We look at each other and I try to search in his eyes for a sign, that he´s pissed. But he just lightly smiles at me, reaching out and holding my hands. While one of his hands is still on the wheel, of course. I feel myself blushing.
"Look, lets not pretend that I´m the best choice for a relationship or boyfriend material. Because I´m not and you knew that, even before you agreed to spend the afternoon with me. So, I´m just curious. Why did you change your mind?"
His thumb is massaging the back of my hand and I try not to settle with this warm feeling in my chest. "Because you dont give up that easily and it's hard not to give in to you." I see a smile tuck at his lips. "You think so?" I role my eyes.
"You know the affect you have on people, Cole. It wouldnt suprise me, if you run for president and won. People like you." He laughs at my comparison, turning the wheel and driving into the driveway to a nice restaurant. When he parks the car and turns of the light, he turns in my direction and looks at me.
"Do you like me?"
The question suprises me. "What?" I laugh quietly. "You said, people like me. So, do you like me too?" His eyes search mine.
"Well, if I would hate you, I think i wouldnt have agreed to go to dinner with you." He leans forward.
"Well you could just be here for the food?" I grin at him. "You got me, Im just hungry, sorry. Can we go in and be silent the entire time?" His hands are still holding mine, but now one of them is caressing my arm, leaving me with goosebumbs.
We sit in silent, but when he opens his mouth to break the comfortable atmosphere, Im shocked by his honest words.
"Well, I like you. You´re funny, endearing, honest and smart. You are nice to everyone, even if you have do deal with a guy like me, who gets on your nerves, so you agree to go on a date with him. It´s something about you, that is special and I would like to get to know you better. If you do, I promise you´ll get more food."
I smile at his last sentence, even though I dont know what to say. "God, you´re making me speechless." He leans even closer. "I can do many other things, that can make you speechless." At that I look at his lips. I see him grin and when I look up again, he is even closer than before.
"There are two choices now. One, we go into his lovely restaurant and talk about god knows what or two, we test whether the seats can be tilted backwards." At his voice I feel myself getting flustered. God knows, I would love to test what the car is capable of. But we´re out in a driveway, infront of a restaurant and people could see us. And even though I´m not really against the idea, its to early.
"Or three, we eat first and maybe later, you show me why I need to hate you less." He rises his eyebrows. "So you really are just here for the food." I laugh. "I guess, I am."
The time we spend in the restaurant was wonderful. I didnt expect us to connect this way, its like he just gets me. We ate a huge meal, in the end we almost forget to pay and I feel myself being so entchanted to him.
Even though the waitress tried to flirt with him (which by the way is rude, because what about girls support girls?), he kept his attention on me, also reaching out infront of her and taking my hand. I really couldnt tell myself to stop imagining, what it would be like, if we were a couple.
I mean, its ridiculous, because he made it very clear, that he didnt want to be in a relationship. But still, a girl could dream, right? Right.
After we did pay (much to the relief of the waitress), we went outside and walked a few minutes along a path, our hands entangled by the time we got back to the car. I didnt want to admit it, but he managed to make me fall in love with him in one day.
And even though I was scared, he made me feel alive. I couldnt concentrate on anything over than him, his sweet compliments, his eyes that kept looking at my lips, his arm that went around my shoulder to keep me warm.
He was so caring, it made me loose my mind. I didnt want the night to end. So when we were back in his car on the way home and he asked me, if I wanted to see his new car, I agreed.
We talked on the way back about our interests. He told me about his passion for football, even though he didnt get to play anymore and about his fascination for restoring cars. I told him about my love for books and that I would rather spend the day waching a new Netflix series, than doing sports. We talked about our goals for the future and that we both want to get out of this town, finally seeing something new.
By the time we arrived at the ranch and he parked the car outside the door, it felt like I knew his past selve, his present and future self. I never had a date like this before, something so honest and great.
But I mean, I also never knew a person like Cole before, so maybe that is the reason.
☀️☀️☀️☀️
When we arrived, it was dark outside, but because it´s summer, neither one of us felt cold. "Is it okay for me to be here? I mean, are your parents cool with you, bringing a girl home?" I look to the house, checking if some of his family members are still awake, but no lights are seen. "As long as they dont know about it, they´re cool." He grins at me and I shake my head.
"Come on, I want to show you what I´ve been working on for the last months." He leads me, one of his hands on my back to the garage, opening the door and letting me in. Its dark inside, but I hear him shifting around to find the switch to turn on the light. When I hear a click and the light flickers on, I look around and at the tools, all the stuff standing around and finally at the car.
He´s standing next to it, a proud smile on his face. "So, what do you think?" Im walking towards him, inspecting his work. "I mean, I dont have a clue about cars, but it looks really good and like it was restored by a proffesional." My fingers run over the open hood.
When he carefully closes it a few seconds later, I look up and see him watching me. "What?" I say, starring back. He takes a step towards me, searching in my gaze, trying to make out if I want this the same way, he wants to feel me. But as I stand still, waching him get closer, centimeter by centimeter, until our faces almost touch, I feel myself breathing heavily.
His hands sneak around my waist, pulling me gently closer to him. He turns around, so he leans onto the car, directing me, so I stand between his legs. I feel myself getting hot, I hear his breath and watch his eyes trailing down to my lips and finally to my eyes. I do the same. And before I know it, he leans in and catches my lips in a captivating way. I feel myself melt.
One of my arms sneak around his shoulders, so I get closer to him. I feel butterflies fly around in my stomach, smiling in the kiss and when he breaks apart, he looks at me.
"Hate me less now?" He wispers.
"Not really, try again."
So he does. Our lips meet, our breath gets taken and I feel my knees weaken, when one of his hands capture my face. He holds me still and I feel every touch, my skin burns.
The temparature rises and when one of his hands travel down, first to my neck, then to my collarbone and lastly to my shoulders, his fingers hold the straps of my dress. Again, he breaks apart, so I open my eyes and immedialy want to kiss him again. Although my hands wander over his shoulder, Im not sure what to do now.
"Are you nervous?" His hands caress my sides, his question leaves me uncertain. I nod, not in the right state to use my words. At that, he gently smiles. "Then I will help you relax. You can do that for me right?"
His words make me clench my thights and I feel myself getting wet. When I nod again, he leans forward and wispers in my ear. "Good girl." That and that his lips nip at my ear and leave a wet trail at my neck, makes me whimper slightly. I feel him smirk, so he earns a light smack on his arm. He laughs quietly and when I open my eyes, his ones are shining with a hidding mischief.
"You enjoy this too much." I say it as a joke, but he takes it seriously. "I do, actually. I dreamt about you making these sounds a lot more often, than I would like to admit."
At that, I gasps. "You what?" I try to concentrate on his words, but his wandering hands dont help with that. He kisses me, but now he turns us around and presses me against the car. Helping me sit on it, so he can get between my legs.
"I said" he beginns to speak and his lips find a certain spot, that makes me moan. "I want to hear all the little sounds, that escape you." My hands wander to his hair, holding it and messing with it. His hands again find the straps of my dress and when I kiss him more passionate, he slowly beginns to pull it down. First the right side until he lets go of it, so he can pull the other one down. All that, while still kissing me.
I feel myself getting lost in him, his lips are like a drug and I feel myself getting addicted. When I feel the air hitting my skin, I break apart. He looks at me, checking if I’m still okay with what we´re doing. "What do you want to do?" he holds the straps of my dress, gesturing that he wants to get me out of it. I breath, trying to know, what I want.
I come to the simple conclusion, that I do want him. Even if its just for now. So I kiss him and try to strip him out his jacket. To do that, he lets go of my dress and it falls to the floor, leaving me in my underwear. His eyes scan my body as his hands caress my skin, his finger going from my shoulders to my breasts.
Breathing heavily I look at him. "Your turn." His hands leave my body and with a teasing smile he takes off his jacket, leaving me starring at his muscles.
One of his fingers turn my head to look at him. "You like what you see?" His grin says it all. My hands find their way to touch his arms, going further down until i tuck at his shirt.
"I would like you more without it." His eyes turn dark. Swiftly he strips off his tanktop, leaving us both starring at each other. Before I can do something else, his arms direct me to him.
"You´re having second thoughts about this, sunshine?" He´s touching my necklace.
"Have you?" I look at him, seeing him smile.
"Never." His hands go to my legs, so he can lift me up and my legs hold on to his hip. I lean towards him, kissing his neck and stopping by his ear.
"What do you want to do to me?" At that, he stands up, still holding me, while opening the door of his restored car and lays me gently on the back seats. He´s hovering over me, a look in his eyes that makes me shiver. When he leans down and presses a kiss on my chest, near my neck, I try to focus on my breathing.
"I want to do so many things to you." His hands tangle in my hair, lightly tugging on it while he leans down, his lips ghost over my own.
"I want to-" his voice goes quiet, I feel his hands touching my legs, breaking them apart, so he can sit between them. "-take of your panties first. Alright?" I nod, looking up to him. Slowly his fingers find my underwear, so he can slide them down and I get out of it.
When he holds them in his hands, he puts it in his pocket, because he still wears his jeans. He starts to kiss me, leaving my mind with a relaxed feeling, going further down, kissing my chest and my stomach, eventually leaving a kiss above the one spot, thats been dying to be touched.
"I already have you this wet, how sweet of you." When his hand comes down and touches me, sliding one finger gently over my folds, I try to hold myself together.
"You dont need to be quiet. Nobody can hear you." But when I keep holding in my moans, he takes it as a personal challenge. As he leaves kisses all over my body, his finger carefully begin to speed up and I feel my walls clenching.
"God, you´re so tight. How long havent you been touched?" His mouth his hot on my skin and when he adds a second finger, I moan loudly. My eyes squeeze shut at the feeling that consumes me, I cant concentrate on a word he says.
"Already too turned on to answer me, huh? Thats a shame, because Im curious to know the answer of my question." He stops the movements of his fingers, leaving me with a needy feeling. And when I try to move, he stills my hips.
"As much as I like to see you sqirm, I want you to answer me. Can you do that for me?" I try to remember his question. "I-I havent." He rises his eyebrows in confusion. "You what?" His fingers leave my body. When I open my eyes, I realise what he has been asking me.
"I-I havent been touched like that before." His mouth opens in disbelief. "You never had a boyfriend or someone you´ve been intimitated with?" I look at the ceiling of his car. "I mean, not really. I´ve dated someone once, but we didnt reach a level, where we got to this point. So, I never did something like this." I can see the conflict in his eyes. "You´re sure, you want me to be your first?" Its sweet, that he cares.
"I- I guess so, Im sure it wont be a bad experience with you." He quietly laughs. "I hope so, but I cant get my head around the fact, that this is your first time. I mean, youre beautiful and fun to be around." He´s silent for a moment. "You know, we dont have to go all the way, right? I wont be mad, if we stop here."
I think for a moment and while my hands trace his muscles, I try to sort out my thoughts. Now that his fingers are no longer distracting me, I try to understand my feelings.
"We should maybe take it slow? I do want to get to know you better, before-" I dont have to finish the sentence, he just nods and when he smiles at me, I feel myself relax.
"That´s okay, don´t worry. I can drive you home, if that is what you want?" My eyes are searching for a sign, that he is mad. But he just gently brushes my hair aside and kisses the side of my mouth.
„I like you. That means, so we are clear here, that I want you to want me. And if thats the case, which I hope so, then we dont need to rush anything. If the time is right, who knows what will happen. Even if that means, I need to beg you to go out with me again.“
I raise my eyebrows, laughing at his words.
„You would do that?“ He shrugs, smiling at me.
„For you, I would.“
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6lostgirl6 · 1 year
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Yandere Alphabet - Stu Macher
TW: Toxic relationship, stalking, mentions of suicide (not detailed), mentions of murder, kidnapping, obsessive behavior, controlling behavior
A/N: Please inform me if I did not tag something correctly. Please know the difference between fictional and reality. While fictional, these types of relationships are extremely toxic, especially in real-life. If your relationship is showcasing these toxic behaviors, please seek help from someone to get out safely. Reblogs are heavily appreciated!!
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Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
Stu is very affectionate towards his darling and is not afraid to show it. It can be pretty intense, but it's only because he can't contain it all inside or he will explode.
Have you seen how he was with Tatum in the movie? It would be exactly that and more.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
Stu is not afraid to get messy for his darling. Does that mean he needs to kill a few people? That doesn't matter to him, he's only showing that he can protect you and it's simply an act of love from him!
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
Between Billy and Stu, Stu would treat you the same as he would before kidnapping you as his goofy self. He would still make jokes and silly actions if it means getting you to smile. If he mocks you, it's only because he's being playful. If you were genuinely upset and crying for him to let you go, he would try to comfort you.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
Besides you simply spending time with him? No, Stu wouldn't really make you do anything you didn't want to do. He might be a little pushy, but he would eventually back off if it starts bothering you.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
In comparison to Billy, he is very open about himself and his feelings for you. Sure, before he abducted you, he had to hide his yandere tendencies. However, now that you were finally home with him, he wouldnt hold back anything from you. He can be very vulnerable, if something is bothering you, he would tell you.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
He would honestly feel very hurt if you tried fighting back. I believe that Stu would be a little bit of a delusional yandere. Of course you wanted him to take you away and keep you to himself? You just didn't know it yet.
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
He finds it very entertaining to watch you try to escape him, especially when he first kidnapped you. Seeing you run and cry out in fear, fight back when he finally pinned you down and your failed attempts at escaping your new home. After you've settled in though, he would expect you to simply follow rules and obey him.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
Again, it was your kidnapping. Seeing your friend's lifeless eyes staring into your own and your boyfriend standing over them. Blood staining his clothes, you could see the smile slip and quickly chase after you. After the reveal that he was the one that killed off your friends was shocking and you cried from being foolish enough to trust him. He might even have Billy help him with kidnapping you as well and Billy would not be gentle.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
He wants to grow old with you! He genuinely believes that you are his soulmate! Marriage, maybe a few children, he wants that with you. He wouldn't have it any other way, as long as you comply.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
Stu can become very jealous. However, he doesn't lash out, he would probably sulk about it for a while. As ghostface, simply killing his rivals is his new coping mechanism.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
He's very playful with his darling, constant jokes and harmless teasing. He's not afraid to show his affection in public and doing random displays of affection like randomly dipping you or twirling you. He'll randomly pull you in kisses that leave you completely flushed.
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
Stu would stalk you, but he makes it pretty obvious. However, you might see it as something innocent like a boy having a crush and he simply doesn't know how to act. Yet, you don't realize that he's been stalking you as you walk home and putting anonymous love letters in your locker. That's when he lets some of his deeper desires come forth.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
Not at all. You wouldn't even know there was something different about him. However, his mask will slip a little, eyes holding something a little more sinister. We've seen how in the movies he can go from laughing and smiling to become the complete opposite.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
He doesn't give out severe punishments. It honestly depends on what you do. However, he'll take away rights when you break his rules. You managed to get outside without him, your banned from your daily walks with him. You tried contacting someone online, you're not allowed on the computer, etc.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
Stu would take some rights. For example, you weren't allowed to be around sharp objects, so you wouldn't harm yourself! You would never intentionally harm him! He wouldn't allow you to walk outside without him and limited access on the internet. And phones are off-limits. He's very watchful.
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
For you, Stu is very patient. When you were first brought home, he gave you space while you adjusted to your new living situation and gave you a few rules that wouldn't overwhelm you. After a week, his patience will slip a little but always remind himself that you simply need time.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
Stu would try his absolute hardest to find you and bring you home if you managed to escape. However, if he was unable to find you or God forbid you died, he would not be able to move on. He wouldn't even be able to continue existing. He can't live in a world where he doesn't have you. He would kill himself.
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
At times, he has moments where he starts to think that maybe you were right. He doesn't regret killing your friends, in fact it thrilled him, yet he will start to think maybe he shouldn't have kidnapped you. However, those thoughts are quick to leave him. Stu is very trusting, if you simply follow his rules and obey him, he wouldnt mind taking you out for a walk. His property is very spacious, so he would allow you to go outside with him. No, he wouldn't let you go though.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
I headcanon that Stu is a bit of a delusional yandere. Therefore, he doesn't see things as they naturally are and his obsession thay overcomes him when meeting you just ignites something in him that was dormant.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
He would feel heartbroken and even a little guilty. He brought you home because he wanted to love, protect, and make you happy with him. Yet, it seems to only cause you pain. He'll talk to you about it, let you express your feelings through sobs. He would listen, but he wouldn't understand. He'll try his best to comfort you though.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
Stu doesn't give out severe punishments like most yanderes. He would never starve you or deny you basic needs, he cares about you too much. You're his obsession.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
Stu is actually pretty sensitive. Simply saying things about how you hate him and don't want to be around him would make him distance himself from you and sulk. He doesn't like people seeing how emotional he actually is and that would allow you some time to think of an escape plan but he knows. He always knows.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
Oh, never! Stu values your safety and happiness, he couldn't handle it if he accidentally hurt you. The worst he's done was get you a little bruised when he pinned you down when you were first kidnapped.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
Oh he is very expressive in his worshiping for you, he's equivalent to a lost puppy. He loves following you around and talking to you, you always make his day. He would literally kill for you if it meant winning you over. He would try anything.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
Stu would pine after you just as long as Billy, perhaps even shorter. If you're not dating him by the six month mark, he's going to kidnap you. He's simply speeding up the process.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
Yes, he would. Not through threats and violent outbursts, but through his personality. You'll eventually start to believe that what he did was normal because he's just a lovable person.
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Taglist: Comment to be added!!
@prettywhenibleed @ghoulgeousimmaculate @rottent33th @slaasherslut @strrvnge
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louscartridge · 2 years
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dating ranboo hdcns
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i do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform without credit. 
cw- mentions of mental heath being shit
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you wear his clothes all the time bc they’re all so big and for the most part casual 
your own clothes? nah. his.
you love wearing them, he loves when you wear them. its a win win.
loves holding your hand
high fives you and then catches your hand in the high five so now your holding hands
he holds it when hes streaming alot and make little designs with his thumb on it.
sometimes he forgets hes holding it, so if he dies or something and throws his arms up your arm goes ~ with his
is really dramatic about it at first, saying he ‘couldve dislocated your shoulder’
if your out to eat or ordering he’ll always get what you get
“ran what do you want?”
“whatever you get love”
writes you notes alot
so like if your sleeping and he has to leave or stream or something 
you wake up with a little sticky note next to you 
you’d never tell him but you keep every single one 
you have a drawer in your nightstand just full of notes hes written for you
he also writes things on your mirror so you dont forget to do it
if your shorter then him you wash dishes so he doesnt have to (as a tall person i can say washing dishes fr hurts)
hes more of a protective boyfriend then jealous
if someone is trying to flirt with you or something he’ll just stand behind you, listening to the convo
he trusts you and also knows you can take care of yourself but sometimes overthinks
what ifs suck
if the person really isnt getting the hint hell rap his arms around you and lay his head on your shoulder from behind and makes an excuse to leave
“toby texted me and said hes at the house already”
is really understanding if your mental health is shit
helps you clean your room
sometimes he writes on your mirror, more things like ‘try to have all the clothes picked up off your floor by the end of the week’
but if you feel like that puts pressure on you or something he wont
if you ask him to wash your hair he’ll quickly say yes.
turns the shower on and just has you kneel over the tub so your under the shower and washes your hair like that so its not as much work for you
please paint his nails
yk the stream that aimsey and niki do his nails? hes like that but not at the same time.
hes alot less marty with you then he was with amsey 
though he would still be joking 
its kinda just another excuse to hold hands with you tbh
you let him choose the color
he lets you choose a color to put on his middle finger tho
“ahh you did such a good job! oh my god, thank you :D”
he LOVES to pick out/make outfits for you 
like even if its not with his clothes
hes just finds it really fun
especially does it when your traveling and he cant go with you
 he just packs all the clothes for you 
thinks youll be thinking of him even more bc your wearing something he made (as if you wouldnt be thinking of him the entire time?)
he’ll spend like an hour rummaging through your closet, every now and then finding things of his
“this is where this went!” “did you take this from me?” “how do i still have clothes of my own?!”
when karl lends ranboo a ring and he wears it your playing with his hands even more belive it or not
spinning the ring around
when you first do it he doesnt know if your ok
he gently grabs your hand making you stop
he softly says ‘hey, you alright?’
you were embarrassed at first but once you told him you were alright he lifts your hand up and kisses it then puts it back down letting you continue
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smashingdollz · 1 year
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Headcanons of Guzma, Raihan, Piers, and Adaman react to shy crush confessing to him?
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
hello anon, thank you for the request! i can totally do this for you!
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𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐡𝐚𝐧
-you decided that today youre going to be confessing to Raihan. with the help of one Pokemon, Applin. you read somwhere that Applin can be used for confessing your love to someone. so you went on a journey to find Applin, even though it was going to be a rare find you were dedicated to give him that Applin.
-he loved your confidence and determination, and admired you for going far and beyond for someone that you love. and he was determined go go far and beyond just for you.
-he definitely teased you a bit during the confession (and still does) "haha, youre face is as red as Applin!" he loves to gently pinch your red cheeks for some reason.
-he of course accepted your confession as soon as he took the pink loveball containing Applin out of your hands. you two definitely raised the Applin together, he even uses it during battles at times.
-like true Raihan nature, after the two of you confessed he took a picture of the two of you captioning it something cheesy. and in that momment everyone knew that the two of you belonged to each other.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
𝐆𝐮𝐳𝐦𝐚
-you did not confess to this man out of your own will. It was actually one of the team skull members who teased you about it and threatened to tell Guzma themselves. so after hours of contemplating and procrastinating you decided that you would go up to him yourself and proudly spit out your confession. (however, it did not actually go like that. you were whimpering and trembling the whole way)
-he actually admires your confidence for going up to him and just confessing to him like that (little does he know), knowing how that stuff isnt easy for you. and hes actually suprised you confesses to him out of all people. how could such a gentle person like you love someone like him?
-of course he loves you too, he always has. but the idea of someone returning his love seems so surrel to him. you've always made him feel some type of way, around you he feels like he can let go of his "big scary tough guy" demeanour, thats when he knew he wanted to spend his life with you.
-he notices how much youre shaking after minutes of silence from him, he then confesses. you're relived, you can finally let out that shaky breath youve been holding in. he walks to you and pulls you in to his side, which is somewhere you'd never leave
-he would tease the hell out of you. i mean even before you confessed he would tease you, but this was the cherry on top. he would just keep on going and going until you turn red in the face and pass out. (jk he wouldnt go that far, maybe just some "light" teasing)
(aaaaaaa sorry this is more of a short story than a headcanon)
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐬
-you two confessed to each other on the same day!
-while he listened to your confession he just couldn’t help but to admire you and your confidence. he admired the fact that you liked him out of all people, he didn’t see himself as anything extravagant but him hearing the way you praise him in your confession made him really feel like the best person in the world
-while you confession was nearing its end he gently grabbed your hand and traced circles on your skin with his thumb. and when you finished he aligned your hand with his and slowly intertwined his hand with yours. which obviously caused you to become more flustered than you already were.
-to accept your confession he pulled out a cute bat clip, one of the many gifts and trinkets he got for you this very special day. he gave yu many things that fit your interest and manythings of his own.
-for his confession he led you back to the Spikemuth gym so he could preform a song he wrote just for you! while he preformed he held your hand and looked lovingly in your eyes.
-after that he just preformed what ever song you like. and would mix in a song he had from a playlist he made just for you
-he would totally play any love song by The Cure. Lovesong, Friday Im in Love, Lovecats, etc
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧
-you decided to ask to confess to him two days before the festival being held in Jubilife village. (you had a week, but of course you were too nervous) he happened to be in the area, you decided not to waste anymore time.
-while confessing he noticed how shakey your voice was and how you stumbled over your words. he put a hand on your shoulder, "hey hey, its alright. take your time okay?" he smiled. (he made it worse)
-he was so bold and quick in accepting your offer to accompany him to the festival and in returning your confession. it almost scared you knowing that someone can be like this, but thats what you liked about him the most
-he loves the fact that you took the time out of your day to confess to him. how could you apologize for wasting his time? when youre around no time of his is wasted, hell be sure to let you know that.
-he gave you a blue hair pin/shirt pin that would match the outfit that he would be wearing to the festival.
-
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˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
i hope you enjoyed! (i was in a bit of a rush to get this out im sorry!)
i posted this a bit later than i wouldve wanted, a shcedule changed happend at work today which messed up my whole routine for my assignments.
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enden-k · 10 months
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in response to this
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kaveh if he breaks smth by accident is just this chibi like, all of it:
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(just with some additional tears in his eyes if it rlly was smth bad AKJBKJ baby)
also agree. kaveh is an architect, an artist, someone who creates so seeing himself being like an evil (or corrupted as the anon said) version to take smth away, erasing existence...........ngl its interesting concept but he would be devastated fr 😭 using kaveh of all ppl for this aughh
unless u wanna think of it more comical and less angsty, and have him go like nah this thing ugly im just gonna unmake you *deletes offending monument* akhsjcbkj but he wouldnt simply go through this in someone elses world, especially if it manipulates/influences their game in a bad way
but!! imagine if kaveh had this skill fr (not only bursting dendro cores but simply making objects vanish after changing their traits), he would simply delete all the ugly furniture in haithams house that truly insults his eyes AKJSBCKJ can you imagine it go like:
"well, al haitham, i got rid of your entire bedroom because it was just too ugly. thank me later." ....suddenly, later in the evening, kaveh finds himself squished in his own bed between haitham and the wall - his own bed that is way too narrow for two grown men, especially one of haithams size and mass. all because haitham is like "considering this is my house, your bedroom is also mine so i will simply take it until you put every single piece of furniture back to where it belonged."
(this turned into a full, usual youn ramble lol rest is UTC)
kaveh is too proud and refuses to simply give up on his bed to sleep on the divan so he stubbornly stays, which comes back at him to bite his ass when hes in bed and gets a faceful of haithams bare chest and when he turns to face the wall hes too aware of the scribes warm body against his back - its like his dreams came true a nightmare
still too proud to admit defeat and let haitham have his bed, kaveh continues sharing his bed even though he barely gets any sleep with haitham right there. he also starts actually crafting haithams furniture by himself, at first all annoyed with him and simply wanting to finish this as fast as he can no matter how ugly, so he can have his own room for himself again before smth stupid happens (like kaveh giving in and kissing him or confessing)
but as soon as he learns from first hand that haitham is quite the cuddler in his sleep (the first time a sleeping haithams arms wrapped around his waist to pull him into him got him so flustered he didnt sleep at all that night), them getting closer everytime theyre sleeping (the amount of times theyre spooning or lying on top of each other all cuddled up is increasing)............haitham growing more soft now that they spend their nights together, having more of kaveh................his work turns from simply trying to replace what he made disappear to more thoughtful, loving pieces
a bed that resembles haithams older one, but big enough for two people to comfortably sleep in there (not that he designed it with himself in mind, its just....well.....a big bed is always nice and haitham takes up quite a lot of place right? totally not designed for both of them) with curtains in this soothing teal shade he knows haitham is fond of and nice patterns to block out the sun falling through the stained windows if he wants to sleep in; a closet with pretty, geometrical carvings matching his bed that haitham probably doesnt even care about; a nightstand with even a holder for his headset to place on, etc etc
its haithams bedroom but with small changes and improvements regarding design and comfort that kaveh did just for haitham. and he notices. of course he does
however, they got so used and comfortable to this whole (awkward at first) sleeping situation (bc it wasnt just kaveh loving to fall asleep in a sleeping, cuddly haithams arms, it was also haitham loving to wake up to the sight of a sleeping kaveh too) that every now and then kaveh slips into haithams (way too comfortable) bed ("well, i designed it so technically its also my bed") and even though its way bigger than kavehs bed, they somehow still seek each other out and find their way to cuddle up to each other
it doesnt take long until its not just their bodies seeking each other out but also their lips
not longer until the first utters a confession against the others skin, asking him to stay as their fingers intertwine and more kisses are exchanged
and not even longer for them to turn haithams bedroom, all designed and crafted by kaveh with love and care, into their bedroom
tl;dr: not only are they roommates, theres also only one bed (no clickbait)
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glorysbox · 8 months
Note
Hi! I really liked your "chubby reader" headcanons, can you do same with Smoke and Kenshi?
okay guys… let’s be honest. tomas is inexperienced as hell. he’ll definitely have good intentions, but i can see him as a super fumbly boyfriend—he’s obsessed with wanting to say the right thing and with not upsetting you in any way.
being in the lin kuei—i doubt that he’s really had any interaction with anyone other than his brothers and the other ninjas. now, with that being said, in some of the intros… he’s become friends with johnny. and i think johnny would influence him, especially with relationships. but not negatively! in the way where he tells tomas about how sensitive some people can be on the topic of weight—and because tomas is so enamored with you, he really takes this to heart. he doesn’t want to mess up
tomas is the type of boyfriend to ask if he can touch you. again, making you uncomfortable is the last thing on his mind—so when you’re alone, expect him to truly ask if it’s okay for him to feel the your body. even innocent touches, really.
that being said, the more he’s comfortable, the more bolder he would be. he’d especially love cuddling you in the nighttime; savoring the contrast between your two bodies. to him, you feel like home—and after being rejected by bi-han and losing his family, that’s all he really wants or needs
he’s sweet. if you were to be insecure and be hesitant with him touching you in any way… expect a lot of apologies but also a lot of praise from him. like bihan, he wouldn’t understand WHY you felt this way. to him, you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever met—he lays awake at night thinking how he was even able to date you. but he wouldnt be a dick about it. he would tell you how much he loves your body; regardless of your weight or the shape of your body—you’re you. that’s all he wants
kenshi can’t see you, so… to make up for that, he spends a lot of time touching you. everywhere. he wants to create an image of how you look in his mind—since he can’t see you physically, he spends the most time memorizing every curve and shape of your body.
when with him, expect touches… everywhere. not only your face, but the soft parts of your body. he is very, very hands on… he has to be. (just know, if he has his sight, he’d spend entirely too much time looking at you and admiring your beauty)
and especially in private—after a life of struggle and seeing his clan fall and be so influenced by the yakuza… there’s nothing better to wash the bad memories away than the feeling of your body on his. even though its not really touched on, i think kenshi has been through a lot of things. not only that, but he’s soon to be the leader of his clan to help separate them from the yakuza’s influence…. basically, the man is stressed. let him cuddle you
don’t be mistaken, though. he doesn’t just want to feel you with his hands… kenshi, though i don’t really see him as an affectionate guy, would definitely want to feel the softness of your body with his own. pressing up against you (in private), pulling you into his arms to feel you on his chest—seriously, nothing makes him happier.
he strikes me as a pretty caring lover. if you were to voice that you were insecure about your body, he would really do everything he can to ensure you know just how much he loves you—if you feel an increase of his hands on you or feel his chest on your back… that’s why. weight is not and has never really been something that’s ever deterred him from liking someone
(secretly, his favorite thing about you is your weight—it brings a sense of comfort to him)
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cerridwen007 · 9 months
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I Want You.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Word count: 1.8k (18+)
Summary: After spending all of your situationship trying to convince you that you’re the only one he wants, Joel decides to take a different approach to get you to understand.
Inspired by the song “I Want You” by Reignwolf.
Notes/Warnings: SMUT with a touch of Angst, porn with feelings, insecure reader, oral (f receiving), unprotected piv, rough sex/foreplay, primal play, creampie, dom Joel, sub reader, biting, choking, swearing, no y/n, fluffy ending.
A/N: Kinda self indulgent but I mean who wouldnt want Joel to fuck the insecurity out of them? Once again I am apologizing for being inactive in writing and posting my fics. I've been a bit burned out with writing and been busy with work and life. So this time I know to not make promises about weekly posts. Instead I'm going to give myself grace and instead try and do at least one fic a month. So some months I might write 3-4 fics and others only one, it honestly will depend on how I'm feeling. But what I will try to do within this next month is finish updating my masterlist with some new, sexy banners and maybe also make a fic rec masterlist for all my favorite works. I will say I have been working on a few wips and am about half way through Corruption of Innocence part 3 and have also come up with another series this time for Joel, so stay tuned for that some time in the future. Thank you as always for any interactions with my posts, it means the world to me.
******
You couldn't actually justify why you did it. You shouldn't have pushed him away. But some part of you couldn't believe that he could love you and only you and that he wouldn't get bored of you and seek pleasure in someone else's bed. In all honesty, you were silly to think that, even being the soft-spoken man Joel was, he still always tried his best in reassuring you that he wanted you. And never did he ever give you any reasons to doubt his loyalty to you. But yet you decided to end your situationship with Joel in fear of getting hurt.
Joel, on the other hand, was first distressed and then annoyed that you pushed him away. He had been spending more of his nights at the Tipsy Bison, drinking away his troubles, trying to forget his feelings for you. He just couldn't seem to understand why you called it quits. You had spent so long dancing around your feelings for each other, and then when you finally did get together, everything was great, the best he had ever felt in a long time. Then it all came crashing down one night when you said that you wanted to stop seeing each other.
You took some convincing to admit the reasoning why. And when you did, he was shocked. Maybe he hadn't been expressing enough of his affection towards you. Maybe he should have told you he loved you already. You were quick to reassure him that it was yourself and not him. To which he scoffed and rolled his eyes at. But you pleaded with him that it was completely you, that you couldn't handle losing him. At first, as much as it hurt him to do so, he respected your wishes, and then one night about a month after your split, something inside of him snapped. He wasn't going to let the best thing in his life go that easily.
You were spending your night at home by yourself like usual, trying to forget Joel in your own way, distracting yourself with a book and a cup of tea. Your heart skipped a beat when it heard fairly loud knocking at your door. The knocking stopped for a second, and you thought about just ignoring it until it started again.
“Alright, I'm coming, jeez. You scoff annoyed, walking to the door before opening it.
Your voice and breath immediately hitch in your throat. Eyes widening as they take in the intimidating, tall figure before you, leaning against your doorframe. You scan over his body, the way his shirt and pants stretch over his wide thighs and shoulders, his eyes brown and soft but filled with something deeper and darker tonight. God, has he gotten even hotter since you last saw him? Your thoughts are interrupted when he coughs to get your attention and speaks.
“Came to talk to ya, sweetheart.” He says darkly.
You move aside and invite him in.
“Oh..yeah come in.” You whisper back.
You can smell the whiskey he likes on his breath as he walks by and the smell that is undoubtedly him, something you missed all so dearly. You take a deep breath, working up the courage to speak before you talk.
“Why are you here, Joel?”
“I think you know why I'm here.” 
You cross your arms and raise your eyebrow.
He speaks through gritted teeth, like an animal baring its fangs, holding back, ready to devour its prey. 
“Don’t act like you don’t know…cause I told you…I told you, I want you.”
“Joel I know, but I…” You whisper.
The words seem to slip away. Your brain can't seem to find proper reasoning as to why you still push him away, yet you still do, as if your body is working on autopilot.
“You know I want you, you're in my head.” His tone softens for a moment as he looks deep into your eyes. Wishing that you would just believe him and give your relationship a chance.
You go to interrupt, but he shuts you up by roughly grabbing your cheeks and jaw in one hand, the slight pain and abrupt motion to make you stop talking and listen. You can't help but let your desire continue to grow. Your middle is dripping from his dominance and assertiveness. You're almost whimpering at his touch.
“Joel.” You manage to mumble out, the last of your denying uttered in that one word.
He tightens his grip ever so slightly and lowers his head closer to yours, his lip curled.
“Well I'm telling you. I want you…..I get the feeling that you just don't understand, I'm crying, wolf, and I'll always be your man.” he growls.
The tension is thick in the air. Joel never failed to make you wet at the sight of him, but this was something else, a primal need to feast on each other's mouths and flesh like you won’t have the chance to again.
The point of tension breaks and your mouths attach to each other like magnets drawn together. The kisses are  filled with desire, lust, and want, but also with ‘I missed you’s’, don’t let me go again’s, and love. Teeth are clashing, lips smashing, hands flying about, trying to grab onto each other and hold them close in any way they can. 
Joel pushes you against the wall harshly, pulling you up so your legs wrap around his waist. You moan into his mouth, feeling his craving for your body, nestled against your clothed middle. His desire to be gentle and take his time is long gone out the window as he feverishly explores your body, ripping away any clothing that stands in his way of touching and tasting your bare skin. He marks all along your body, your neck, jaw, and collarbones, anywhere he can reach, claiming you for his own. 
His hands reach up behind your back and pull your hair firmly, giving him move access to attack your flesh with bite and hickey’s. You find yourself a grinning and whimpering mess under him. He growls into your breasts after ripping away your shirt and bra like a wild wolf, warning others not to touch his meal. He finally pulls you both off the wall and quickly walks to your bed and throws you down. Not wanting to waste a moment, he pulls your pants and panties off swiftly. He groans as he gets on his knees and takes in the scent of your arousal. 
“God I missed you and this sweet pussy, sweetheart.”
Before you can respond his hands wrapped around your thighs are pulling you to his mouth, he makes quick work of you, his tongue licking every inch of you, switching between, fucking into you pulsating hole and teasing your clit with the tip of his tongue. It feels so good, yet you can’t help but squirm around only to be pinned down by Joel's forearm, keeping his meal still for him. 
Your hand reaches down into his graying locks as Joel undoes you with his skilled tongue. Your first orgasm comes quickly. He groans deeply at the sweet taste gracing his taste buds, but he doesn’t stop or slow down. Instead he speeds up his actions and begins thrusting two fingers into your drenched cunt and curling them to reach that spot that makes your toes curl and eyes roll back. The pathetically beautiful sounds coming from your mouth do nothing but egg him to continue, urging you to your second orgasm of the night in mere minutes. Two fingers become three that mercilessly fuck into your tight hole.
“Cum for me.” Joel quietly groans in your cunt. 
Taking his words as a stern order, you let go, drenching his face with your second release of the night. He is grinning ear to ear as he drinks up every bit of your sweetness, your hands grip the sheets tightly, cunt verging on overstimulation. He finally lets up when he feels satisfied and crawls back up to give yourself a taste of your own pleasure from his tongue. He groans deeply as you begin pulling him down on top of you and arching your back up into him, insinuating you want more, need to feel him inside you. He chuckles darkly and reaches down between you to tease your folds with the tip of his cock. 
He keeps teasing despite your whines for him to put it in already. 
“Please….Please Joel.” You whine quietly.
He grins devilishly. “Begging me to fuck you sweetheart, Need it that bad, don’t you honey?”
You nod your head in response, but Joel doesn't like that answer. He grips your throat lightly and speaks through gritted teeth.
“Use your words baby.” he growls.
“Y-Yes, need it so bad Joel.”
“Atta girl.”
He quickly thrusts his whole length into your quivering hole, making you gasp out. He lets you adjust to his size for a few seconds before slowly yet brutally dragging his length almost all the way out before slamming it back into your tight cunt again.
You unconsciously bring your fist up to your mouth and bite into, so overwhelmed with the deliciously brutal pleasure you were feeling.Before you could have even comprehended, he flips you over and brings your ass up to his cock, slamming into your hip mercilessly. Your eyes rolled back into your head, he holds the back of your neck down as he pounded into you. Your hands find purchase in the sheets, gripping them tightly. He lowers himself so his front is flush with your back, and the new angle hits even deeper inside you, urging you to the precipice of climax. 
“All mine, This pretty cunt is all mine.” Joel snarled into your ear, biting your ear lobe.
“F-f-fuck yes, only yours, Joel.”
“That’s my girl.” He praises you, before reaching around to rub your clit, sending you over the edge.
“Shit! Joel!” You whine as your high comes crashing down.
His thrusts never stuttered as he worked you through your high and chased his own. Joel roughly grabbed your hips as he creamed inside of you, a final step in marking his territory.
You both collapsed on the bed, Joel’s full weight comforting as you caught your breaths. A comfortable silence blanketed the room, which only moments ago was filled with obscene noises.
“I love you.” he whispered.
Your eyes opened wide in surprise at his remark, the first ever time he has ever said those three words to you. You turn your head to try and look at him better. You see his eyes have returned a closer shade to their normal deep brown, his pupils blown wide. You can’t help but smile at his softness, a stark contrast to him behavior only moments ago. Nevertheless, you loved every bit of Joel you could get.
“I love you too.” You whisper before placing a gentle, lingering kiss on his lips.
You couldn't be certain of what was the future for you and Joel, but you knew right now there is no place you rather be than snuggling with your person.
********
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kekisu · 4 months
Text
a very popular headcanon people have (i Think its popular. at least a lot of my twitter mutuals agreed with me a while back) is that joker comes from inaba, and if youve played p4 you know that theres literally nothing to do there
so a big headcanon that i used to be obsessed with is that he would spend a lot of his days skateboarding or biking around listening to music and exploring old dirt roads.. and he ended up getting a special interest in bugs and reptiles because hed come across so many during his little solo adventures. hes also very well versed in fishing its not a fixation or anything but just something hes pretty good at
this is why i tend to draw joker like some sort of skater boy. i think hes always stood out a lot in this small town even before the false assault charge, like he wasnt disliked or bullied but he just didnt really fit in. and this didnt bother him. i think he only realized how boring his life was when he became a phantom thief and got all these new friends in this new big city that understood him despite the circumstances that led him here. like man i really used to live like that and see nothing wrong with it? i didnt yearn for more?
it makes it even more painful when he has to leave and they naturally drift apart. because they all have dreams and ambitions, and the best years of their lives are waiting for them around the corner. but joker is back in this small town where theres nothing to do but hang out in some food court or poke around in the woods. i imagine this newfound loneliness is really hard on him, not to mention the guilt for feeling like hes somehow to blame for. well, whatever happened with goro
to me personally i think goro lived. i think he mustered up the perseverance to bite and claw his way out of shidos palace after seeing that even someone like him has a chance at being loved, he just didnt really remember this in marukis reality because it was all a blur. so both goro and joker were completely clueless as to what his fate would be if they went back to their true reality, which is what was so scary. the uncertainty. he could very well be dead but how could they know for sure? i just dont like the thought of him dying before he could truly live, even though i understand the tragedy of it can be poetic, i just cant stand for him going out like that because i relate a lot to his struggles. and i think it would go against the overall positive message of p5r. sure not everybody gets to have a second chance or a happy ending, but. man. anyways
joker fully believes goro is dead though. he wouldnt be crazy to assume this considering how they parted ways in shidos palace. but it eats away at him and maybe he really does go crazy. maybe his life feels like its stuck in time and while his old friends are out chasing their dreams, hes stuck. broken and shattered over feeling like he couldve done something to save him, knowing jokers savior/martyr complex
im running out of steam and i didnt mean to ramble on about my post-p5r headcanons but, to wrap it up: goro is in rehab somewhere and has a service dog to help with his dissociation and mood swings. and a couple other stuff. he feels like if he walks back into jokers life itll mess something up like joker will just break down or something. so he keeps his distance until they cross paths again. im just very obsessed with the idea of goro getting his life together vs joker wanting so badly to chase that high of phantom thievery again but failing and being actually so depressed
man morgana must be exhausted
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xmycxx · 9 months
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hello! how are you?
i wanted to say i love your tattoo!artist ellie and how you write. i don't know if anyone has already sent you this ask, but could you do a headcanon about jealous ellie?
💗💗💗
oh fuCK YES!!!
alright so in tattoo!ellie universe, i genuinely and very strongly believe that she would tattoo her initials or some matching tattoos with you so everyone can see you're hers
i feel like she wouldnt get jealous too easily, ik loads of writers say that but i stronlgy believe that while yea she would get jealous she wouldn't act on it
let's say she takes you to a bar and it's been like one hell of a long week, you're sitting there with your friends on a saturday night
ofc there's no spare seat so she offered you her lap
you get up to get her another drink, in my mind she drinks an old fashioned on the rocks, prolly jack daniels
so you go to get her another one, this guy comes upto you asking you who "the man who ordered that nice drink is."
you just laughed and tried to get away bc yknow, creepy man at a bar, but he just sorta kept going
at this point, i don't think ellie would be jealous, concerned? yes, jealous? no, you look like you stuck your hands in mud, you're disgusted
after a minute or two, she'd slide over and put her hand around your waist, taking the glass from your hand and taking a sip while making direct eye contact with the guy
"Oh this is my girlfriend, I was trying to take her drink."
your rexplanation was fully lost on this man as he scurried away from her death glare
if we're talking jealous jealus and not just protective? Buckle tf up
it'll be like if you're spending too much time with someone who isn't her
like everytime she asks you to hangout? "sorry babe, she just asked me to come out for drinks" or "I'm so sorry els, she said she needed help with something"
she'd get pissed
not because she's insecure, well, partially, but because she's so fuckin needy for you
you'd be getting ready to meet her for something, getting all dolled up, wearing her favorite outfit on you for someone else, girly would fully break
all up on you, kissing your neck, hands circling around your waist, distracting the fuck out of you so you can't even formulate a thought about leaving her
"babe i'm... fuck... I'm running late."
"Leave then."
let's just say you had a Nice Long Talk (AKA she fucked your brains out with her tattooed arm so you never even have a thought that isn't about her for the next week)
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starzshopoflove · 10 months
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Can I get ghost comfort for someone who doesn't eat because of anxiety?
omg i love this ask so much since i also have bad ass anxiety that beats on me till my meds kick in. Just gonna base this off my own kind behavior with food and eating since i have my own issues too so let me know if this is good or not!!
Notes: no warning, fluff, comfort no hurt, gn!reader
I feel like ghost wouldnt understand it at first and just think your skipping meals or not hungry. So he'd probably be a little pushy at first asking if you've had a snack or not when your together or he'll send you a text randomly in the day if you've eaten or not
But when he starts to notice how you clam up when he asks about it after the first few times he'll shut up and try to watch you a bit to see what's making you not eat. He'll start seeing how sometimes when you're on a date or just at the bookshop for lunch you might pick at your food but not really eat any of it, or how you might only eat some parts of your sandwich and leave the bread off it, sometimes you'll just not eat with him and just be there talking.
When he does finally ask you about it he tries really hard to approach it sensitively since your kinda like a skittish cat in a corner when he has asked before. So you'd be in his flat laying on his couch together and he's keeping you all warm with an arm around your waist rubbing some soothing circles so you stay relaxed while watching whatever show he let you pick.
"Dove"
"Mhm?"
"Do you not like gettin' lunch with me?"
You might freeze up on him and not talk for a moment mulling over if you really wanna tell him or not, you dont usually like talking about it. Whenever you have before people just started teetering around eating with you or acted like you had some sort of issue, treated you like you were just different.
"I like getting lunch with you Si, love getting to spend time with you"
"Yeah but you never eat anythin' with me"
You really wanted to dance around this topic some more but he just felt so warm and smelled so good you were already fused onto the couch at this point. You felt safe with him, like he wasn't going to judge you for trying to be honest with him. The way he let you slot yourself next to him tracing patterns on your skin made your blood a little warmer and your head a little fuzzy
So you finally let yourself spill out your issues hands playing with a strand of your hair that was in your face so you couldn't focus on if he was judging you or not trying not to stumble over your words
"Its not that i don't like eating with you Si, just sometimes when I'm out n I know people can see me eating makes me feel like I'm being watched and all i can think about is how loud im chewing or If i look weird when I'm eating. Then when i start thinking about it, ts' like there's a hole in my stomach and if i try to fill it, might just come right back up. But if I do make myself eat then i have to think about how full I feel n how i can feel the weight of the food in my stomach n once i start thinkin about that i start feelin sick again"
The whole time you let out you meek confession Simon was holding you a little closer loosening his grip so you didn't feel trapped, resting his chin on your head still keeping a warm hand around you to keep you relaxed. He let you speak without cutting you off even when you paused to try to figure out what you feel and put it into words he keep comforting you with his touch and softly nudging you to keep going
"Wish you didn't feel like you had to hide this from me luv, I care about you. Never want you to feel like you're stressin' yourself out for my sake, want you to feel safe with me and tell me when something's bothering you so i can help yeah?'"
Oh my god, whole time you feel like you could cry because he's cooing to you so sweetly and holding you so close not making you feel like you're weird or different from him just because you cant eat sometimes. You might sniffle a little which would make him worried but when he sees its just you getting a little emotional he'll calm down a little and place a kiss on your cheek murmuring about how much he cares and doesn't want you to force yourself to do something you don't like.
Feel like he'd still check to see that you atleast ate something through the day, and instead of doing dates at public places he might pick up some food and you'd eat at either one of yours's flat , sometimes at the park when he knows it wont be crowded either.
Just know he'd sometimes just pick up the fork and feed you when your looking at your food weird letting you know its alright but he'd never push if you resisting too much
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god i love writing soft ghost
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