#wtf is going on with that shit are you guys ok?? tf?

[ecstasyhighway]

no feelings | toji fushiguro

cw: toji is lowkey an asshole here guys, small amount of texting at the beginning, toji catches reader masturbating, no use of y/n, pet names: good girl , pretty , princess , baby , babygirl. pussy eating, deadbeat asshole!toji (sorry its canon i fear) backshots… pussy and ass slaps, cum eating if you squint, squirting. unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it chat) toji cums in reader, the tiniest amount of overstimulation and edging. hes rough with reader.. reader had like two drinks so shes not drunk but tipsy. if i missed anything lmk.

a/n: so why tf did this take me ten years to write…? anywayss. no but fr i need him guys.. like why is he so bad actually like… ALSO this is inspired by fanart on pinterest!! okay enjoy sillies

also not proofread and lowercase intended

you and your friends had just spent a night out at the bar, you had a couple of drinks and you were feeling very emotional and needy. you're in an uber headed to your flat. the small amount of alcohol in your system is clouding your judgment. you head inside dropping all your shit on the floor before plopping down on the couch. you thought to yourself, you need a good dicking down right now. you and toji have been fucking on the low for a year and a half now and you really like him, terrible idea to like the toji fushiguro, but he treats you so well when he wants to… sending toji a text about how you were feeling was definitely not a good idea. yall were just fuck buddies, strictly no feelings attached, but the more you got to know him the more you started to develop feelings for him. you reach for your phone and send a text to toji.

'i lovre yoh <3'

'wtf? yk I said no feelings. do i need to come over there and fuck some sense into you?'

'noo'

'why are you acting that way? are you drunk?'

'i habd two drinkds im just a little tipsky'

'ok…why'd you send me that stupid braindead text hmm?'

'cus i missd yoouh'

'well then be prepared pretty. imma fuck you til you can't think straight.'

you felt yourself getting wet at the thought of him, you rub your thighs together trying to get some friction. You felt so light headed, just thinking about his body and how good he always fucks you. without thinking your snake your hand into your pants, you begin to rub your clit through your underwear. Needy whimpers leave your mouth as you try to relive the aching feeling in your body. You were so lost in trying to get yourself off you didn't even notice the faint sound of keys jingling, and the door opening.

"what are you doing?" your hear toji's voice echo through your brain and you look up. He looks displeased with you. "y'knew I was coming over right?" you sit up and look at him through your lashes and you nod, feeling embarrassed. "then why are you touching yourself hmm?"

"i jus couldn't wait you were taking too long, i jus' need you so bad" your voice sounds pathetic and he can't help but look at you with fake pity.

"so lemme get this straight, you text me talking about you love me, knowing that'll make me mad.. then you touch yourself knowing I was headed this way which you knew would also piss me off…then you give me some pathetic excuse? oh…" he grabs your face forcing you to look at him "you must want me to break you huh? you want me to fuck you until you can't walk? until you forget your own name? how embarrassing…" he laughs slightly and lets go of your face "get up and go to your room, sit there and wait for me, I'll be there in a minute."

you go to your room and sit there patiently waiting for him to come upstairs. Your heart was beating so fast you could hear it in your ears. It feels like years go by as you wait for toji to come upstairs, you consider going back to the living room and seeing what he was doing but… you know that that'll just make him even more angry.. so you wait, but the feeling in your core is getting harder to ignore. after what seems like hours, finally you hear heavy footsteps from outside your room. The door swings open and he walks up to you, you feel his eyes staring into your soul so you look down, not wanting to look him in his eyes.

he grabs your face making you look at him. "look at me" his voice is harsh and demanding, sending shocks to your core. You look up at him and he smirks, "good girl…" he strokes your cheek with his thumb softly, still looking at you with that sadistic smirk. "please.." you whine trying to get him to stop teasing you. His expression turns cold and he lets go of your face.

"lie down" you listen to him and you sit back on your bed. Toji slowly takes off your leggings. Once he sees the wet spot on your lacy underwear, he rubs your clit through them which causes you to buck your hips at the subtle contact. "you're so wet… all this for me baby?" hes still rubbing small circles on your clit, you whimper and try to grind on his hand to get more friction but he holds your hips in place stopping you from moving. "you're so needy" he laughs before tearing off your panties throwing them over his shoulder. the cold air hits your exposed cunt causing you to try to close your legs but he stops you.

"toji please.." he slaps your pussy and you yelp. He doesn't even give you a warning before begins sucking on your pretty clit "fu-fuck" your hips jerk as he eats you out like he was a starved man. you feel him insert two fingers into you, the mixture of both his fingers and his mouth on your cunt has you seeing stars. The sounds of his slurping and your moans are making you want more, you begin grinding on his face and he groans into your pussy sending vibrations up your spine. His assault on your clit doesn't stop, his fingers pumping in and out of you, hitting your g-spot every time. "mmfh m'gon- please ughfm dont stop m'gonna cum" your voice is loud and breathy, you grind on his face faster feeling your stomach knot up, suddenly you no longer feel him anymore causing you to open your eyes.

"noo..why i was s'close" he doesn't respond to you, he just takes off his pants letting his dick free, pre-cum leaking from the tip. He gives it a couple of strokes before walking up to you and throwing your legs on his shoulders, holding you by your thighs. He rubs his tip against your clit, coating his cock with your slick, he groans as he continues "fuck- you think you can squirt on my dick babygirl?" he doesn't even give you a chance to respond before he slides his dick into your cunt, bottoming out, you mewl at the feeling, clamping down on his cock. He groans above you "you're takin me 's well pretty" he begins thrusting into you, a slow and agonizing pace "fuck toj' faster" he takes a hand and puts it around your throat, squeezing slightly, thumb stroking your bottom lip softly. "y' want me to go faster? nah imma take my time." he continues with his slow strokes, you can feel every inch of him. his tip kissing your cervix with each thrust "look at that baby… hahh fuck- your pussy is so pretty- just swollowing my cock" he reaches down and rubs your puffy clit. its taking everything in him to not just go crazy on you yet, he wants to draw this out as much as he can. "toj' umhpf please-" you're so cock drunk you're just babbling incoherent nonsense. his pace is still slow pulling in and out of you, his balls hitting the plush of your ass softly. your moans are like music to his ears, making his cock even harder. he pulls out and slaps your pussy harshly. tears began to well in your eyes "that hurts" you pout. he leans down to suck on your bottom lip, moving to your neck, leaving dark hickeys on your jawline "awwh does it hurt? thats too bad… stop cryin" he says while wiping the tears from your cheeks.

"turn over." his voice was deep and demanding. you slowly turn and whine when you feel him slap your ass then knead the flesh before landing another harsh slap on your soft skin. "you are being such a good girl baby" he pushes your head into the pillows and spreads your lips while groaning before licking a thick stripe up your slit. "you taste so good princess" he purrs, licking and planting kisses on the sensitive bud. he gives your pussy another slap before getting up and stroking his dick. "mmhf tojii ah stop doin that" he slaps your ass "shut up you're fine" with his cock in hand he slams into you, "ah uhmf toj' so good" he pulls out and slams back in, his pace speeds up with each thrust into your sopping wet cunt. the noises of his balls hitting the plush of your ass, your moans and the sound of your pussy was enough to make him cum right there, but he can hold off just a little longer. he grabs a handful of your hair so he can fuck deeper into you, he finally has a steady pace and rhythm that has you seeing stars and squeezing around him. "ah ah ah ah ah shit keep going" he pulls your hair back, making you arch your back into him. you feel that familiar knot in your stomach "fuh-toji uhmf m'gonna cum" his pace quickens and he lets go of your hair, placing his hand on your lower belly adding pressure "go ahead princess cum on my cock, make a mess on me" you squeeze around him, the pressure he added and his words drove you to your climax, "shi- m'cumming hah" your eyes roll to the back of your skull as you shake from the overstimulation of him still thrusting into you. "you can give me one more right baby?" as he continues to stuff you with his cock he starts rubbing your clit. your brain is hazy and you cant think straight, the only things leaving your mouth is his name and a string of broken moans. "jus one more c'mon cum on my dick again baby" he watches as a ring of your cum covers the base of his dick "m'gon-fuck toj m'cummi-" the clear liquid spurting out of you cuts you off mid sentence, covering his dick in your juices, this is what throws him to the edge. the feeling of you squirting on him, covering both you and himself in your liquids has him losing his rhythm, you notice this and begin fucking yourself into him "wan your cum toji cum in me please" "oka- shit, m'gonna pump you full with my cum- uhmfuck shit" he holds your hips in place while thick ropes of his warm cum paints your walls white, you moan feeling another orgasm build up in your core. you shake from overstimulation, tears staining your cheeks as you let yourself go, you whine and pant, fucking yourself onto his cock to ride out your third orgasm. he pulls out of your warm cunt, watching both his and your cum leak from your hole. he stuffs it back into you, then licks his fingers tasting the salty sweet mixture.

he gets up and puts his clothes back on, leaving your limp, cum filled body on your bed. "alright baby, imma go, you uhh clean yourself up, don't text me with that bs again aigh? oh and i know you're on the pill but still i don't want kids so make sure u ain pregnant, get that mornin after pill if you need too, aigh im out princess" he gives you a final slap on your ass before leaving. you hear him go downstairs, grab his keys to your flat and leave, locking the door behind him. leaving you there full of his cum, tears rolling down your cheeks, body still coming down from the three orgasms you had. you just lie there for a minute, will you send him an i love you text again? maybe… he normally pulls up for a quickie. so for him to fuck you like that… you need it again. you stand up on your sore legs, almost falling over before you head to your bathroom to clean yourself up.

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yeah chat i might need him asap… hope yall enjoyed fr

[smiggles]

.

[gold-dustwomxn]

mystified

part 2

summary: after sudden attacks on women around town, you take a self defense class. ellie, your long standing crush is the instructor

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

each chapter will have their own warnings please read them! eventual smut

cw: mentions of child abuse and implication of attempted sexual assault (does not go into detail for either), panic attack

fluff and angst

light rocking against your shoulder and a distant call of your name pulls you from your deep slumber making you groan, not conscious enough to take in where you are. “hey sleepyhead, wake up.” ellie’s raspy whisper has you cracking one eye open. you’re too tired to even speak or think coherently, making you hum in question.

ellie chuckles and looks at you for a moment before speaking. “sorry to wake you up so early.. I gotta be at the construction site in an hour.” you blink away your remnants of sleep and realize ellie has damp hair, is fully dressed for the day and the sun isn’t even up yet. “it’s okay. sorry I fell asleep here I didn’t even realize.” she smiles softly, “no worries, I don’t mind. you looked pretty comfy..I can drive you home on my way to work.”

the short drive to your house shares a peaceful, comfortable silence between you and ellie. the sky painting a breathtaking winter sunrise of pinks and purple. ellie pulls up to your house way too quickly for your liking, the small disappointment of having to part ways felt in your chest.

“thanks for the ride and letting me crash at your place.. I had fun last night.”

“me too,” she smiles and you feel that warmth settle deep in your stomach again. it’s a rarity to see her full smile “it’s no problem, really.. are you busy tonight?”

“no, I don’t think I have anything going on.” you know you don’t actually have anything going on. you bite the inside of your cheek to try to suppress a smile, but ellie looks between your eyes and down at your mouth and smirks at you. caught.

“well, if you’re not busy later you wanna hang out? I get off at 3, we can go to a cafe or something.” she clears her throat and you can see how physically painful this is for her. she forces herself to keep eye contact though.

you giggle and she narrows her eyes at you playfully, unspoken words and body language received between the both of you. “yeah, I’m down. just text me when you get off.”

“alright cool I can pick you up. see you later, ___.”

me: DINA wake the fuck up!!!!!

dina🤍: bitch its literally 7am why tf are u disturbing me

me: wow. anyway! last night I was walking to ur house and some creepy dude pulls up next to me asking me for directions and shit acting super sketchy. ellie pulls up out of nowhere and goes all psycho ellie mode and pulls out a fucking switchblade. I was like 😦 but it was also so hot. he skids off and she gets pics of his plates and we go back to her place for joel to deal with it. he thinks the cops can keep an eye out for that car and see if that guy has anything to do with the assaults happening. it was lowkey really scary but I’m okay. we ended up smoking and talking for hours and it was literally perfect and then we ended up falling asleep and I woke up in the middle of the night laying ON HER CHEST with her arm around me. we’re hanging out again tonight

dina🤍: wtf that’s so fucking scary! im glad ur okay:( but ommg im so excited for u angel. its ab damn time some moves are made and we can go on double dates tg hehe

me: ok let’s not get ahead of ourselves here we’ll see what happens. that’s all I wanted to tell u. ur allowed to go back to sleep now:)

dina🤍: wow how gracious of u. lmk how everything goes though <33

clothes are strewn all over your bed and floor, while you frantically try to find a cute outfit to wear. it’s fine, it’s just ellie. she’s seen you a million times since you were both 14. you finally settle on a pair of jeans and a black sweater, with your chelsea doc martens. good enough.

ellie🌿🗡️: Hey, I’m outside whenever you’re ready.

me: be right there!

okay, just breathe. everything’s fine!

as you hop into the passenger seat, ellie looks you up and down. “you look good.” you give her a shy smile and observe her; hair tied half up, in a dark green flannel with an oversized black denim jacket, black jeans with her usual pair of converse, multiple rings on her long fingers, and the scent of her woodsy cologne. “thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself.” she smiles and shakes her head, pulling out of your driveway.

“yeah, he almost dropped a whole fucking plank of wood on my head today!”

you start laughing, walking out of the coffee shop together. “maybe the hit would’ve done you good, ellie. you are very hard headed.” ellie’s jaw drops “wow, someone’s feisty today, huh?” you smile and roll your eyes, going to shove her and she catches your wrist, pulling you close to her. your breath hitches and you look down at her lips. something behind you catches ellie’s attention, her smile dropping instantly and face turning ghostly pale.

“ellie? what’s wrong?” she grabs your hand and walks you quickly to the car, opening your door to make sure you get in first before frantically hopping into her seat and speeding out of the parking lot.

“hey, what’s going on?” she shakes her head and doesn’t respond, her chest rising and falling at a rapid rate, eyebrows scrunched together.

the speed of her driving and her concerning behavior is stressing you the fuck out. she pulls up to her house and lets you both in before she runs up the stairs to the bathroom, whipping the door shut with a loud slam.

you slowly walk up the stairs, not knowing whether or not to give her privacy. you suddenly hear her crying and hyperventilating. “ellie, I’m coming in.”

ellie is seated on the floor next to the tub with her head between her legs, forearms laid on her knees. “hey, hey I’m here. can I touch you?” she nods and you gently take her hand, softly rubbing the back of her palm while you place her other hand against your chest. “try to follow my breathing, okay?” you take slow, deep breaths for her to follow until she calms down.

“I’m sorry.” she avoids looking at you. “no, I’m here for you, okay? you don’t have to hide from me.” she wipes the rest of her tears from her eyes and nods. you move to sit next to her and gently rub her back, still holding her hand.

“do you wanna talk about it?” she clears her throat and looks straight ahead. “I uh… saw one of my old foster parents. he was pretty fucked up,” she lets out a dry laugh. “thought I was over it but I didn’t expect to see him.”

“what did he do?” she looks at you in contemplation before looking away with a cold, steely gaze. she sniffs and nods, “he… used to beat the shit out of me all the time for no reason.” she looks down at her scarred tattoo and rubs the skin. “this burn… he tried to-“ she clenches her jaw and shakes her head. “anyway, I managed to get away before he did anything, but I ended up burning my arm on the stove in the midst of it all. tried to press charges but that didn’t work, big shocker,” she scoffs. “I ran away and refused to go back so they placed me with joel and he eventually adopted me.”

she looks back up at you, trying to gauge what you’re thinking. you don’t realize you’re crying until she wipes away a tear from your cheek. “hey, don’t cry it was a long time ago I was just… not prepared for all of that.”

“sorry, I just hate that you had to go through all of that, especially at such a young age.” she lets out a deep breath and nods. “sorry our date got ruined” she gives you a sad smile.

“it wasn’t,” you squeeze her hand “I had a good time and I’m just glad I was able to be here with you.” you look up in thought, “do you have brownie mix?” she looks at you in confusion and lets out a small laugh “uh, I dunno, why?” “whenever I’m sad or going through something, I like to bake because it gives me something to do to take my mind off of everything and brownies are fucking good.” you nod with conviction. ellie laughs, “you are so fucking cute. c’mon let’s go see if I have some brownie mix.”

as you mix the chocolatey batter, and hum to the song playing on the speaker, ellie leans against the counter and watches you. she loves the domesticity and warmth you surround her with, and you were right, doing all of this is making her feel better.

“are you just gonna stand there and stare at me or are you gonna help?” “nah I think I’m good right here” she smirks at you. you nod slowly and look at her with mischief, holding up the spoon. her eyes widen and she points her finger at you, “don’t you fucking dare.”

you chase ellie around the kitchen island, out of breath from laughing and she ends up slipping on her sock, grabbing onto the counter for balance. as you run up to her and try to smear the batter on her face, she grabs your arm. you struggle against her, making you trip over her leg and she catches you, wrapping her arms around your waist. both of your laughters fade into small smiles as both of your eyes trails to each other’s lips. ellie’s face becomes serious as she leans in, lips ghosting yours. the sound of the front door opening has you both abruptly backing away from each other. fucking joel.

“hey kiddo, what are y’all up to?” ellie’s face is beet red and she clears her throat, “just making some brownies. why are you home?” ellie’s voice holds a bit of an edge to it.

“well, damn, I’ll get outta your hair in a minute, just stoppin’ by, forgot to pack my dinner.” she hums in annoyance. your eyes widen at the tension ellie is radiating.

“joel! my parents wanted me to give this to you as a thanks for the free self defense lesson, and for helping me out yesterday.” you open up your bag and take out a bottle of whiskey. ellie’s brows furrow, oops you forgot to tell her.

joel holds the bottle at a downward angle “would’ya look at that.. I’ll be sure to send my thanks to them.” he walks to the fridge and grabs out a container. “alright I’m headin’ out,” he looks at ellie “do me a favor, don’t burn the house down.” she groans and rolls her eyes.

“mm, these brownies are fucking good. you were right after all.” you scoff and smack her arm, “of course I was right. don’t ever doubt me again.” ellie rolls her eyes, “yes ma’am,” she quips sarcastically. “now, pay attention, this is my favorite part of the movie,” you say with feigned sternness. she smiles and nods, finishing off her brownie and leans back into her pillows.

you rest your head on her shoulder and place your hand on her stomach, tracing small patterns. you look up at her and whisper, “ellie?”

“hm?”

“do you really feel okay now?”

she turns her head to the side to look at you, face only inches away, and nods slowly. you feel her breath ghosting your lips and your heart starts racing, chest rising up and down quickly. ellie parts her mouth and licks her lips, leaning in, kissing you softly. she pulls away to look at you, before sitting up and grabbing your face, deepening the kiss.

HA sorry to edge u all. things are gonna get spicy as fuck in the next chapter. interactions are much appreciated 💗

taglist: @me-and-your-husband @fireflyels

[zorosleftmantit101]

Bro wtf im alive!!

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ONE PIECE MEN

As shit from the groupchat

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C/W: swearing, NSFW, mentions of suicide, general shit post stuff.

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Robin, Franky, Brook, Chopper, Usopp, Ace, Sabo, buggy, Shanks, Crocodile, Doflomingo

NOTE: Schools back and its been super fucking busy + plus im hyperfixated on bulders gate and game of thrones rn

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Luffy: My balls dropped insted

Zoro: Peburty

Zoro: How tf do u spell iy

Zoro: Pubesraty

Zoro: Pubes

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Sanji: Valentines more like. Suicide

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Buggy: Ur so wacky

Shanks: *wanking

Shanks: 109 mph dick slaming in and out of this dirty half full starbucks cup i stole from a homeless crack addict (im imagining its ur tight boy pussy asshole)

Buggy: Shanks.

Buggy: Stop.

Shanks: Erm no!

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Franky: Teachers should NOT say nice things to me (i have a praise kink and daddy issues)

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Nami: Bro i gotta shit so bad

Usopp: THEN SHIT BRO

Nami: Im in the car

Usopp: Oh

Usopp: THEN SHIT AT SCHOOL

Nami: I am NOT shitting at school

Usopp: PUSSY

Nami: this was all a trick girls dont shit

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Brook: Im so excited to drink today im actually shaking #slotmachines

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Luffy: Happy Monday!

Chopper: It is NOT Monday my guy

Luffy: ... the shotgun is in my mouth

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Franky: Bc l've got another day off

Franky: Should I come visit

Robin: YES

Franky: Hmmm

Franky: If I get bored I'll ride up

Robin: Then ill ride u up

Franky: What time u guys got recess and lunch

Robin: Get u preggo

Franky: SHIT

Franky: ILL BE THERE

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Kid: just punch the customer

Law: nah I need that shit to traumatise them, I need the customer to be rude to me and I start levitating in the air while chanting and blood pouring out my eyes

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Kid: When parents let their kids order and its like "what's that fetus, your learning to speak!! Yeah well spell trombone, didn't think so faggot"

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Ace: U stick ur dick in ur bum and get urself pregnant

Ace: 2024 lets make it happen

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Sabo: "Emo!" So close! I'm actually wearing the skin of your mother

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Doflamingo: OK BUDDY DEGRADE ME MORE IM THIS CLOSE TO EXPLODING IN MY PANTS

Crocodile: MOTHERFUCKER WHAT

Crocodile: YOU DIRTY CUNT

Crocodile: WAIT

Crocodile: NO

Crocodile: YOU PERFECT HUMAN BEING

Doflamingo: NGHH (reverse psychologyed your ass)

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Sanji: Ouchieeeeeeeeeeee my back hurtsss urghhhhh i wish their was a big sexy latina to sit on my face, only to make the pain go away of course

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Nami: Guys i close the store in half an hour and im boooooredde i already finished cleaning wveryhringggg

Robin: Okok pro tip

Robin: Do u have pens?

Robin: Hand sanitizer

Robin: And paper towel

Nami: Im gonna just finger myself

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Franky: That was my son 3 years ago before the incident...

Brook: Was the incident me whipping the nae nae! YOLO cash money dab on them fortniters

Franky: No

Franky: Big Foot stepped on my unborn baby

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Law: If i die i wanna be reborn as an electric chair

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Killer: Cheaters are dick beaters - Shakespeare probably

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Sanji: You are quite literally the most cutest girl I've ever seen

Luffy: Bro my dick actully smells so fuckimg bad, it never smells bad do i have aids

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[st4rb3rries]

OMG I LOVED UR STAN AND KYLE BSF HEADCANNONS!! Can i req one with the main four, like what its like to be in a group w/ them?? have an amazing day <33

BEING IN A FRIEND GROUP WITH SOUTH PARKS MAIN 4

pairings; stan, kyle, kenny, cartman x fem!reader (all aged up 18+)

summary; chaotic friend group hc's!

warnings; cussing

a/n; hi and ty hope you have an amazing day too!!

key colors; blue= stan green= kyle orange= kenny red= cartman pink= reader

late night skate boarding with them. it's always cartman who texts you guys to go. in reality he only wants to go to just to start shit. in my opinion kenny is the best skater out of y'all. but cartman is the worst💀. "you guys you guys look im gonna go down the ramp!!" "cartman that isn't a good idea your not ready-" "WAAAAAHHHHH" laughter is coming out from you, stan, and kenny. kyle wants to laugh but he ain't risking it😭. "GAWDAMMIT KYLE IM BEAT YOUR J-" cartman stops himself because he knows damn well not to rip on kyle in front of you. so he switches up real fast 🙄. "you guys i seriously think i broke a bone" "whatever cartman you just switched up cause you know y/n would kick your ass" 5 minutes kenny is teaching you, stan, and kyle a trick. "ok so next you gotta-" "get a room lovebirds i mean come on🙄" "CARTMAN STFU!!" "yeah dude stay mad because your not psychically able to do any of this🥱" this all happens in less than 15 minutes, like why can't y'all just be a nice friend group😭. moments later stan was about to go off a ramp. UNTIL HIS WHEELS BROKE OFF THE SKATEBOARD. i wonder who unscrewed them..... "AAAUAGHHHHHH" "DON'T WORRY STAN I GOTCHU!!" and there he was, stanly marsh in your arms. "W rizz stan or nah😏" stan could feel his face heating up fr. "damn dude that should've been me not stan😔" "kenny shut the hell up💀" "wait a minute where's cartman he literally almost killed stan tf????" cartman isn't trying to get his ass kicked in front of people so he ditched and went home. classic cartman.

karaoke night. you guys are definitely singing 2000's songs. but it always seems like you guys get interrupted no matter what. karaoke night was started by cartman, which is so surprising?? "I WANNA HOLD'EM LIKE THEY DO IN TEXAS, PLEASE" "FOLD'EM LET'EM HIT ME RAISE IT BABY STAY WITH M-" stan and kyle always hating cause you and cartman sound a little too good. "BOOO GET OFF THE STAGE" "YA MY EARS ARE BLEEDING" "OH FUCK OFF GUYS LET US SING" "you guys have been singing this same song for 2 hours bruh😭" "2 minutes kenny get it right" they just hating cause they can't handle real talent. sometimes when the karaoke gets intense you guys act like judges for americas got talent💀. "is this kenny mccormick from south park colorado?" "yes" "and what will you be doing today?" "YOUR MOM AHAHA" "disqualified poor people can't seem to have talent" "CARTMAN WTF" "NEXT" "no wait i'll sing with him" "oh god" if kyle and stan think you and cartman sound a little too good. JUST WAIT UNTIL THEY HERE YOU AND KENNY. "THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOYS WITH THE BOOMIN SYSTEM" "TOP DOWN AC WITH THE COOLER SYSTEM" super bass by nicki minaj is y'alls go to song. every time you guys finish that song your out of breath and laugh so much😭. "AND THE CROWD GUYS MILD🔥" "NEXT" "cartman we are done playing americas got talent" "dude let me and kyle sing next we haven't sung at all🥹" "fine" "ah hell nah it better not be anything emo💀" *30 seconds later every one starts singing* "BUT IM A CREEP" "IM A WERIDO" "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOIN' HERE" "I DON'T BELONG HERE" suddenly the tv, microphones, and speaker goes out?? "LISTEN UP BITCHES IM NOT HAVING AN ALCOHOLIC, A JEW, A FATHERLESS DAUGHTER, AND A HOMELESS POOR BOY SING RADIOHEAD AT MY HOUSE‼️‼️" guess who got jumped that night🤔???

[cieloclercs]

what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc

PART: 1/?

summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more

warnings. swearing, reader and charles are oblivious idiots but they’re cute so it’s ok, ending is annoyingly abrupt (sorry)

pairings. charles leclerc x artsy!reader

face claim. tara michelle

author’s note: so this is a multi-part social media fic inspired by this ask that i’ve been working on for a while. as always, all media and pictures used in this belongs to the original creators. hope you guys enjoy! ps, all i really know about art is what i learned in my gcse class (and my teacher was awful) so if i use any incorrect terminology at any point in this series i’m so sorry! i’m trying my best 🫶

liked by pierregasly and 11,386 others

yourusername monaco summer 🐚🌊🦋☁️

view all comments…

yourfriend prettiest ever 🥹

yourusername oh hush you 🤭

username girl your figure 😮

username she literally has my dream body 😭

charles_leclerc no photo credits? 😃

yourusername 🙄🙄 photo creds to char ig

arthur_leclerc looking a little windswept there

yourusername do you want me to block you again

arthur_leclerc no thanks u look very pretty !!!!

yourusername aww thank you arth 🥰

username wait who tf is this girl and how does she know charles??

username she’s his childhood best friend! they’ve known each other since they were five 🫶

username i firmly believe y/n y/l/n is a goddess not a human being

*charles_leclerc liked this comment

username CHARLES WHAT THE FUCK???

liked by carlossainz55 and 2,376,926 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc opening day for y/n’s latest exhibition, ‘flow’! je suis très fière de toi, mon artiste. ne jamais cesser de rêver 🌊 / beyond proud of you, my artist. never stop dreaming

view all comments…

username now if this isn’t obsessed boyfriend behaviour then i don’t know what is

yourusername aww charlie 🥹 merci de m'avoir soutenu, je vous en serai toujours reconnaissant / thank you for supporting me, i’m forever grateful

charles_leclerc toujours

username and they say they’re just friends?? THIS IS NOT FRIEND BEHAVIOUR

username omg these paintings are so beautiful! what’s the exhibition about?

charles_leclerc it’s a study of water and the ocean!

username they way he’s answering questions about y/n’s own exhibition for her 😭 babes ur not subtle x

username she’s so talented wtf

*charles_leclerc liked this comment

leclerc_pascale Incroyable 😍

yourusername merci, maman 🥰

username SHE CALLS PASCALE MAMAN OH MY GOD???

liked by joris_trouche and 17,936 others

yourusername summer break, week one ✅

view all comments…

username everyone say ‘thank you y/n’ for feeding us the soft charles content 🥹

username thank you y/n 🙏

joris_trouche elvis is the star of this dump

yourusername i’ll let him claw you again

joris_trouche PLEASE DONT

charles_leclerc woah who’s that handsome guy in slide 2? 😏

yourusername you wouldn’t know him he’s kind of annoying x

charles_leclerc ouch

username charles featuring twice?? we’re losing her 😔

username three guesses who took the pictures of y/n

username hmm…joris? 🤔

username try again

username elvis 🤨

username close!! but not quite

username is it maybe…charles?!

*charles_leclerc liked this comment

username bingo!!

username trade lives with me please 😫

charles_leclerc i hope summer never ends

yourusername you and me both

username he doesn’t want to go back to the sf-23 and ferrari fucking up his race every week 😔

*yourusername liked this comment

username LMAO Y/N LIKED

username she’s just as sick of ferrari’s shit as we are

joris_trouche everyone ignoring the fact that i’m also in this dump as well !!!

charles_leclerc mate you’re not even looking at the camera

username GAHAHAHA CHARLES

➜ part 2

[whyse7vn]

LOVE OCTAGON? -

[ ot7 x reader ]

YOUNG FOREVER

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

hobi: just did 8 push ups i’ll smack the shit out of anybody rn

jin: if you were a girl i’d be into that

jk: pls don’t hit me

tae: thought he liked men

jimin: could of fooled me

jin: ??????

namjoon: glad to see ur working out again hobi

hobi: what’s that supposed to mean??

namjoon: i’m glad to see you working out again?

y/n: can i watch?

jk: i want you so bad omg

y/n: ??

jk: sorry i was hacked

yoongi: did one of you order food to my house?

jk: no i wasn’t

tae: MY BURGER IS AT YOUR HOUSE???

OH MY GOD I THOUGH I WAS SCAMMED I WAS SO UPSET

jimin: eat it yoongi

tae: DON’T

pls 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

send it back to me pls i’m begging

i’m literally starving

and shaking

jin: i think you should give it back to him yoongi could be his first meal in months

hobi: real

yoongi: threw it away

tae: WHAT IS UR ISSUE??????

yoongi: you

hobi: namjoon do you want to fight?

jk: do you want me back?

jimin: shut up

tae: don’t expect to hear from me ever again bitch

yoongi: oh nooooo

namjoon: fight??

y/n: can i watch?

jin: this is stressing me out

someone give me a fun fact to calm me down

namjoon: um

hobi: xikers are the first 5th gen group

tae: that sounds like a disease

jimin: thought we would never hear from you again

yoongi: good things never last

jin: 5TH GEN??????

ARE YOU SILLY

THATS A THING??

THAT FACT DID NOT CALM ME DOWN AT ALL

jimin: ofc tae’s talking about diseases again

tae: am i wrong tho??

like

omg i got xikers rn

i’m itching soooo badddfd

pls i need to go to hospital the xikers on my back are killing me

namjoon: stop talking

tae: i’m not wrong

jk: are you ok tae?

what is xikers

it sounds bad

tae: i’m dying

pls remember me

jk: WHAT 😨

i will bro 🥺

y/n: he’s lying to you

jk: i’m not i swear i’ll remember you forever and ever

y/n: tae is lying to YOU

stupid

jk: oh

wtf man :/

tae: you never let me have fun

hobi: i want to be 5th gen

jk: but we said we were 4th gen??

namjoon: we are 3rd gen.

yoongi: let’s not do this again

tae: ME FOR 5TH GEN IT BOY

jimin: jimin 5th gen ace

jin: although i’m in shock and disbelief rn i’ll still take on the role of 5th gen it boy

tae: ?????

tf is wrong with you

can you read

i said i’m 5th gen it boy?

let’s vote

come on guys 🤗

yoongi: i vote jin

y/n: jin

jk: ME 3

jimin: ig jin

hobi: jin4thewin

namjoon: jin?

jin: i also vote for jin

tae: burn in hell

jk: y/n 5th gen it girl?

y/n: but i was 4th gen it girl last time

jk: ur right let’s swap

y/n: best 5th gen rapper

it’s an honour really

jk: i will use my 5th gen it girl title to help better the world

hobi: 5th GEN VISUAL HOSEOK

yoongi can take the best 5th gen singer title

yoongi: k

y/n: namjoon best 5th gen dancer?

jk: i agree

namjoon: ??

jin: idk about you but i love my new title

tae: i bet you do

jin: you sound mad

namjoon: again?

tae: i’m not

namjoon: you can take mine if you really want

i don’t care for you guy’s silly little game

jk: THIS IS NO GAME JOON

THIS IS OUR REAL LIFE

hobi: RIGHT

tae: KEEP UR NASTY TITLE I DONT WANT UR PITY FUCK YOU FUVK YOU FUCK YOU

jin: yikes

yoongi: all this shouting for what?

y/n: wow

namjoon: fine

jimin: why did jungkook go live naked

y/n: proof lmao?

jin: right put me off my salad fr

jimin: you were eating a salad?

jin: yeah?

jimin: ok

jin: tf you mean ok???

do you want to fight?

jimin: i’m just surprised that’s all

jin: why??????

jimin: cuz yk…

jin: no i DON’T know

pls enlighten me bitch

jk: i wasn’t naked??

jimin: yes you were

jin: HELLO???

YK WHAT?

jk: i swear i wasn’t

y/n: proof???????

jk: you want to see me naked 🤭??

i’m blushing rn

tae: i was naked once

hobi: this isn’t about you

y/n: tae sent me nudes by email once

hobi: ok this is about you

jk: WHAT????)/£/

jin: by email?

tae: omg why would you tell themmmm

jimin: why would you ever want nudes from that?

tae: that????

y/n: i never asked for them

who do you think i am??

tae: what does that mean??

namjoon: you can literally get arrested for that

tae: kinky

but i did send them on accident

so i’m sure the police would understand

jin: i do not believe that at all

and by email??

how is that an accident

yoongi: right

tae: plus i did look super hot right y/n?

y/n: that not the point

tae: see how she didn’t say no

jk: SAY NO

hobi: send the nudes here i say!

jin: DO NOT

jk: say no before i shoot myself in the head

jimin: wow

namjoon: it doesn’t matter if she thought you looked good or not you can’t go round sending ur nudes to people with without warning

tae: says who?

namjoon: the fucking law?

are you okay?? like that’s common sense

wtf is wrong with you

hobi: joons getting mad oh my god >.<

yoongi: thought we established he has no common sense

tae: i knew telepathically that she needed to receive nudes from me in order to keep living

jin: so you didn’t send them by accident then

tae: accident on purpose it’s all the same thing tbh

y/n: to keep living??

jimin: they are polar opposites actually

tae: omg all of u on my dick rn

don’t be mad i stepped up and you didn’t

jk: i was goONA STEP UP

ITVWAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME

I HATE YOU

IM GOING TO KILL YOU

hobi: jk’s mad this is scary >.<

jin: witnessing the fall the taekook in real time

wow this is truly beautiful

tae: omg chill out??

it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before

jimin: and is that by choice?

jk: I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

hobi: wait what?

namjoon: everyone shut the fuck up

jin: look now you made joon fr mad

hobi: sorry namjoon >.<

tae: it wasn’t even my fault

y/n: i’m the victim here don’t be mad at me

jk: DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM JOON

yoongi: i’m tired

jimin: this is a lot to take in

namjoon: taehyung apologise

tae: FOR WHAT?????????

hobi: ur sick in the head

namjoon: now

tae: sorry??????

jk: nasty bitch

tae: y/n let’s tell them about us

jk: what

yoongi: 🤨

y/n: us?

tae: ummmmmmm lol?

she’s normally not like this i swear

she likes me honestly

stop embarrassing in front of the guys babe

y/n: blocking you

tae: are u using me for my body???

i sent you nudes TWICE

hobi: one in a million we are twice 🩷💖

tae: you said i was hot

are we not in love?

yoongi: lol

jk: YOU SENT HER NUDES TWICE???????

OH MY GODDDDSJEJ SOMEONE PLs PULL THE TRIGGER FOR ME IM TOO WEAK TO DO THIS ANYMOREEEENBE

jimin: so like did she ask for the nudes the first time?

y/n: SHUT UP???

jimin: OH MY GODFF YIU TOTALY DID

THE PLOT THICKENS

y/n: namjoon tell them to stop taking

namjoon: stop talking

hobi: wait…

is this the fwb you’ve been talking about for weeks

tae: STOP SPEAKING

jin: wooow ur really sad

jk: OhH MY GODDDD ANd I CONGRATULATED YOU SND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDHDXUD KILL MEMEME KILL MEMEEEE

y/n: fwb?

we have not fucked

jk: oh thajnk god

yoongi: have you kissed?

hobi: yoongi’s jealous >.<

yoongi: just asking

tae: i don’t want to talk about this anymore

jimin: look he’s embarrassed

they totally have not kissed

tae: bottom lie is that she said i was hot

jk: SHE WANTEF TO SEE ME NAKED BEFORE SO UR NOT SPECIAL

DONT LET IT GET TO UR HEAD

BITCH

namjoon: calm down jungkook

jk: HES A LITTLE SNAKE I WILL NOT CALM DOWN NEVER EVER EVER

I LIKED HER FIRST

yoongi: no you didn’t?

jin: is this a love triangle?

hobi: classic case of a love square

jimin: love square?

y/n: no one is in love

tae: my life is over

y/n: get a grip

jimin: i’m feeling left out put me in the square

hobi: it wouldn’t be a square then

jimin: love pentagon?

jin: make it a hexagon

hobi: wait wtf and me

love heptagon so cute 💞

what about you namjoon?

namjoon: what about me?

jimin: do you want to fuck y/n yes or no?

y/n: oh my god????

jk: YOU BETTER SAY NO

SAY NO

ILL KILL YOU

namjoon: i’m not answering that

jk: GOOD

WAIT WTF ARE YOU TRYING TI SAY YOU DON’T THINK SHES HOT???

WTF IS WRONG WITH yOU???

SHE IS NOT UGLY

namjoon: i never said that

jimin: i’m taking that as a yes

hobi: love octagon 🩷

y/n: what happened to talking about our 5th gen life 🙁

jk: i love 5th gen

hobi: what is with the gc name?

jimin: it’s for jin’s mental health

jin: ur actually decreasing my mental health by taking about 5th gen

jimin: are newjeans 5th gen?

jin: okay so just fuck me then?

yoongi: idk

hobi: I LOVE NEWJEANS

oHUr my OHUR MY GODTT

jin: i don’t listen minors sing

it’s bad for the economy

jimin: just say they make you feel old as shit

jk: i don’t listen to other women sing

y/n: ???

jk: i mean i love when other women sing

i actually only listen to girl groups

tae: he’s lying

because that’s actually me

y/n: shut the fuck up both of you

yoongi: real

y/n: and you

yoongi: ??????????????????????

jimin: LMAO

HE DIDN’T EXPECT THAT

jin: GOTTT HIKMMMMM LMAOSOSOSOIDKEKEKDKDKDK

hobi: i love feminism ❤️

y/n: it’s nice not arguing

namjoon: i’ve been telling you all

jimin: true!!!

hobi: you argue the most

jimin: me???

hobi: yes you

you and jin literally argued 10 seconds ago

jin: don’t put us in the same sentence like that i’m getting uncomfortable

namjoon: the fact that they actually shut the fuck up

what have i been doing wrong

jimin: maybe cuz you don’t have a pussy idk

namjoon: did you have to be so vulgar?

y/n: vulgar?

what are you 65??

hobi: pussy is power

NOT vulgar

jin: vulgar is such a nasty word like ew vulgar

namjoon: i’m leaving

jin: praise god

namjoon left “young forever”

tae: i love pussy btw

jimin left “young forever”

hobi left “young forever”

y/n left “young forever”

yoongi left “young forever”

jk: personally i think you’re so brave for saying that

—

and taekook lived!!

[newtkive]

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 1 - the gc birth

in which two online friends navigate a romance through a minecraft groupchat with their stupid friends

or, newt, the quiet, stoic boy, and y/n, the bubbly girl both curse the world for keeping them apart, but at least they can send each other cute emojis and hope the other doesn't notice their blossoming feelings.

warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

__

notes: hi :p im very new to writing on tumblr (but ive always been a reader) so pls bare w me! and im trying to revert back to being 14 (im 23 lols..) so im revisiting my old favs including the maze runner/thomas (bc i binged the artful dodger and now im obsessed again). there will be non-text chapters in the future as well, when everyone eventually meets. this will be newt focused so enjoy !! also everyone is like a realistic age from 23 to 28

__

THE GLADE

[ 7:45 PM ]

alby added minho, y/n, newt, tommy, and gally

alby: Hello, guys.

minho: wtf is this

newt: uhhhh

tommy: hi :3

y/n: so this is why you asked me for my # in private

gally: i didn’t consent to this when i gave you my number

newt: don’t give strange men your number y/n

tommy: oh that’s y/n?

alby: Wait, Newt you had Y/N’s number already??

newt: yea

tommy: o.O

y/n: i gave it to him like two weeks after we met lmao

tommy: SO HE HAD YOUR NUMBER FOR A YEAR AND I DIDNT????

y/n: well he asked and you guys didn’t :p

newt: lmao

minho: ik he smug as fuck rn

not u asking for a girls number lmao simp

newt: stop

y/n: we all talk in discord anyways so i didn’t really think about it

plus you guys are friends irl so idk

it felt kinda weird to insert myself heh

minho: we’ve known you for a year and a half y/n

we play games all the time

call all the time

we even send packages and shit

you’re very much considered our irl friend

y/n: REALLY?? 🥺🥺

tommy: internet friends are real friends 😍❤️

minho: the heart eyes are crazy

but yes dude

newt: of course you’re our close friend. just cuz we live near each other and you’re a bit far away doesn’t mean we don’t adore you

minho: ADORE IS CRAZY LMFAO

but real ig

y/n: AWWWWW YOU GUYS LOVEEE MEEEEEE

hahahahha

HAHAHHAHJFIEKMGOR

I LVOE YOU GIYYYYSSSS IM PUTTING ALL OUR MINECRAFT BEDS TOGETHER LATER

gally: i do not want my bed to be infested by you guys

minho: gally sleeps in the corner

gally: no i dont i sleep in my mansion

y/n: cherry blossom mansion*

gally: and you sleep in a shed

y/n: cherry blossom shed* its pink and that matters.

tommy: love you y/n 😊🥰

y/n: love you tommy <3333

minho: that’s actually nasty stop now

y/n: u mad ur unloved

i love how the gc name is our minecraft town name :((

newt: aw it is

minho: can we talk about why tf this was made when we have a perfectly good discord

alby: I’m done with Discord.

newt: you got your shit hacked didn’t you mate

minho: mate 💀💀

british people so crazy

alby: Yes maybe..

I don’t want to make another.

y/n: or your old ass doesn’t know how to

minho: LMAO REAL

alby: Gonna ignore that. But I am getting too old for it. I have a new promotion at work so that means I won’t have time to play with you guys as much anymore. So I decided to make this groupchat in hopes to talk to you guys more to make up for it :)

minho: every group always has the old head with the job 💀💀

newt: minho admitting he’s jobless

minho: you work at a library be so fr rn

newt: i have an income. you have a room in your grandmas basement. we are not the same.

gally: LMFAOOOOOOO

minho: stfu :////

y/n: AWWWWWWW ALBYYYYYYY

tommy: YAAAY!!!!

im going to text you guys all day

tell you every meal

every thought

every interaction will be meaningful and glorious

newt: you are 24 years old you don’t have to do all that

minho: no fr im turning off my phone if he starts this shit

why not just do it before in the discord ??

tommy: easy access now and i tried before but stopped since no one really replied..

y/n: i say we all do it :D i will too tommy

newt: ok second thought that’s fine

minho: .

gally: that’s wild.

y/n: YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! NEWT YOU GO FIRST

newt: first with what

y/n: say what u ate today

newt: didn’t say i’d do it.

tommy: i ate muffin, monster energy drink, and hamburger :3333

you guys next

minho: that’s all you had bro..

y/n: hot cheetos and french fries and coffee :D

minho: ??????? BRO

how are you guys alive

y/n: it's my day off and no class so i just wanna rot in bed and that means no cooking

newt: please eat and drink water.

like for real and document it

y/n: ok wait

there

tommy: yum!

minho: y/n..

newt: cereal does not count

y/n: I DONT HAVE ENERGY TO MAKE ANYTHING OKAY

im a 23 year old broke college student my fridge is bare

newt: alright what do you want?

y/n: wym?

newt: like if you could pick.

minho: that’s so cruel 😭😭 just making her imagine it

i like it go on.

tommy: i want chick fil a

minho: i knew you hate the gays

tommy: I AM THE GAYS?????

y/n: ugh that does sound good

mmmm chickem sandiwh waffle fry I Want that Os mYch

newt: that’s what you would order?

y/n: mmmcm yeahshhhhh

newt: ok

minho: that’s it?

i thought soemthing would happen

tommy: me too

like a spell! magic 🪄

y/n: sigh

my cereal tastes bad now

newt: well it is cocoa puffs.

minho: L cereal

y/n: DTOP SAYING L ITS SO ANNOYITIGJNGGGGG

minho: she so madddd 😂😂 L

newt: you're annoying minho

minho: youre just saying that bc shes saying that

newt: no ive always said it. and i will continue to. youre fucking annoying

minho: who bought you your coffee yesterday

newt: ???

myself

and i paid for yours too

im the one with an income

minho: .

well i didnt think youd remember that well.

newt: it was literally yesterday.

minho: yeah but ur old

newt: IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU

minho: yeah but im 🤗✨ 26 ✨🤗and youre... 26😬😔

tommy: guys stop fighting

newt: we aren't fighting

maybe this gc was a bad idea

tommy: NO!!!!!!!!!

y/n: NOOOO!

tommy: this is like y/n is here w us irl

y/n: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

minho: no it's not. we would smell a foul stench if she was

y/n: i ahte you sooo bad.

wait there is a knock at my door im scared

newt: answer it

minho: aren't you supposed to say don't open the door for strangers ????

newt: well usually yes

y/n: no im not expecting company

newt: just do it pls

y/n: ok :D

minho: bruh..

i hope she gets robbed and u feel bad forever newt

newt: why would you want that

minho: bc she owes me money

newt: YOU owe ME money

minho: yes but i have a good reason she just wanted robux

tommy: Y/N DONT DO IT!!! I HAVE SEEN DATELINE

y/n: :o....

tommy: Y/N?????????

OH GOD THEY GOT HER

minho: why would she text a silly face if she got got

tommy: clearly its a surprised face

maybe its not her

its like those cut out magazine letters murderers use

y/n: who got me chick fil a!!!!!!!!!!

minho: me

newt: you literally did not

minho: shut up

y/n: newt it was u i see ur name on the receipt

newt: well

y/n: :(

newt: what why are you sad?

minho: im hungry too

y/n: u spent ur money :(

newt: you're hungry are you not?

minho: she's not but i am

y/n: yeah but..

i feel bad you shouldn't have

newt: just eat it or i'll be mad

minho: i think i want red lobster

newt: it's really no big deal y/n

y/n: thank you newt :(((((

newt: you're welcome

go eat and watch ur show or smth

minho: i owuld love to eat and watch a show rn <33 ohhhh im starving

newt: can you shut up

gally: im muting this gc if this means i have to deal with your guys' shit more than usual now.

minho: thank god

newt: good

tommy: good

y/n: good

the food is good too <3

newt: good.

_

lmk if you want to be tagged!

[celamoon]

Hi! I apologize if I overstep any rules, I can’t find them;; If you could, could you write a Saiki with a gn reader whose immune to Teruhashi’s beauty and is pretty much the only person who Saiki would call his friend? I want him to deny his feelings completely but then they confess and boom relationship? (If you could, will you add some jealous Teruhashi? If not, it’s ok!)

Take your time and don’t feel rushed! Thank you!

rules are linked on my pinned post! But no worries since the req is fine lol

Warnings: None

Teruhashi is gorgeous.

Everyone wants to be her, wants her, or bOTH

enter you.

you meet Teruhashi and you're like "Woah! You're pretty but totally not my type!"

Teruhashi fucking SCREAMS (internally)

WDYM YOU DON'T THINK SHE'S YOUR TYPE SHE'S EVERYONE'S TYPE

Saiki overhears this and laughs a lil to himself

You end up in the friend group bc... idk how you ended up there but you ended up there

tbh I think you stuck around Saiki bc he seemed to be immune as well

you two bond over that lol

so yall are going on like cafe dates n doing cute shit n all sorts of stuff (As friends)

Teruhashi stalks u guys sometimes but u guys ignore her

she joins sometimes but Saiki usually makes it so that her fanclub knows where she's going and swarms her when she tries to get in the way

so Saiki at some point realizes that you're a little different from the other people he's hung around????

why is his heart beating around you so fast wtf

so he's like 'Aiura what did you do to me'

"Tf you mean what'd I do to you? Idk"

So Saiki's like 'a great friend'

A great friend my ass

he starts avoiding you while insisting the two of you are vv close friends

You? You corner him one day after school

"Spit it out before I do."

'wtf does that mean'

"Okay. Since you're a coward. I like you."

Saiki at this point is like 'they're a friend they're a friend they're a friend they're a friend they are... not just a friend'

BOOM. dating.

I think Teruhashi still crashes ur dates but it's just pure entertainment for you so it's like

now it's finally me n u and u n me just us and ur friend steve (teruhashi) (Saiki is the one singing)

but it works bc as long as you're happy Saiki's happy 👍

[vrmxlho]

-ˏˋ ur socials as reo's gf ˊˎ-

-`♡´- liked by 666666, megsbachira and 1.3k others

yn: new car or smth idk

tagged: mikage

isagi_11: bmw x1 u11 ICE xline

↳ yn: wow

↳ isagi_11: impressed?

↳ yn: yeah, you’re more of a loser than i imagined…

666666: when will @reo buy me a new car?

↳ mikage: who are you?

↳ 666666: WHAT IS WITH THIS ATTITUDE ???

↳ yn: idk but i like it 🤭

↳ 666666: you must love seeing people suffer...

-`♡ ´- liked by kaisersexc, mikage and 2.3k others

yn: he’s always editing our pics like you can't look hotter chill 😚😚🙄

tagged: mikage

666666: he's editing you lil bro 🫶

↳ yn: can i kill nagi?

↳ mikage: ofc

↳ yn: why do you hate women nagi?

↳ 666666: im a feminist ive read toni morrison!!

↳ yn: ???? irrelevant????

↳ 666666: bby why're we beefing it was a joke 😣😢😢

mikage: anyone would wanna edit themselves when they're standing next to you 💜💜

↳ yn: shut up 😏

-`♡ ´- liked by isagi_11, 666666 and 1.9k others

mikage: with the love of my life

tagged: yn

yn: ur the cutest

↳ mikage: no you 💜

↳ yn: no you 😞🫶

↳ karasu: y'all are both ugly ash!! hope that helps <3

666666: why is man’s holding his phone like that??

↳ itoshi_rin: why're you hating for me???

↳ 666666: there can never be too much hating 😊

zantetsu: covid core 🦠

↳ yn: jump

↳ zantetsu: ur not aesthetic!!!

↳ yn: aesthetic is a noun not an adjective 😇🫶 try buying the oxford english dictornary !!

↳ zantetsu: you're always advertising for them rotten tooth brits 🥸

-♡´- liked by itoshi_rin, chigiri and 1.4k others

mikage: we kinda cute

tagged: yn, cat

yn: these are just pictures of you 😐😐

↳ mikage: this is not a couples account tf 🤨🙄

↳ yn: wtf ❤️

cat: meow

↳ yn: go meow somewhere else pussy 😒

↳ 666666: cannot believe a cat is finally gonna break reo and yn up

↳ yn: DON'T SAY THAT SHIT???

↳ mikage: wdym by finally 🤨

↳ cat: meow

isagi_11: where the fuck is reo? there is only a wall

↳ mikage: i get that i'm pale but damn 😥

-`♡ ´- liked by chigiri, isagi_11 and 1.6k others

yn: when he cooks for you 💝💘💞💗💓💖💕💟

tagged: mikage

chigiri: rich ppl can never cook it's a fact 🤷

↳ mikage: i literally went to culinary school but ok

↳ chigiri: nobody likes a nepo baby 😒

↳ isagi_11: LITERALLY WHEN?? YOU ARE 18 HOW DID YOU GO TO CULINARY SCHOOL?

↳ mikage: idk it was an option in middle school

↳ isagi_11: wtf i hate rich ppl 💔

yn: can y'all take your anti-capitalist talks elsewhere ?? i'm very pro rich boyfriend thank you very much 🫶

↳ 666666: FUCK YOU!!

↳ yn: nagi i will literally fight you

↳ 666666: not a threat for a guy like me

↳ yn: 🙁

[ohbabydollie]

I need more of schlatt & latina reader PLEAAAASDEE 😵‍💫

few more hcs!!

if you grew up in a home that was more of a “children are meant to be seen not heard” schlatt will hear you out!

he will make sure you do feel heard, even when it’s hard

he knows can’t fix the past so he’ll help you learn how to do good in the future

he understands you don’t mean to be angry or upset sometimes but you just are and will wait until you want to talk about it

he’s wants to be there for you through the good and the bad and the awful

onto the less angsty

yk how his fam is big corn people?

ELOTES/ESQUITES!!

he will eat tf out of some esquites or any street food as a matter of fact

likes going to tianguis, la pulga, etc. with you!

especially the cheap ass prices at a pulga

throw in some chicharrón bien preparado n call it a date

likes looking for places to go eat with you

has made it a saturday morning tradition that you both go eat pancita (or anything you like) at a restaurant for breakfast/brunch

it hits everytime, especially when you’re both hungover

likes his gansitos frozen (no i’m not taking criticism)

keeps little snacks or candies in his pantry/fridge all the time

calls u “cariño” “corazón de melón” “vieja” “amor” “chiquita” “chikibaby”etc. especially if one of the nicknames pisses u off

LOVES salsa valentina and chamoy

god forbid someone makes homemade chamoy bc he’s absolutely devouring it with any and every fruit he can think of

if you listen to bolero while cleaning with him he’ll stop you so you guys can dance

“not right now, i gotta clean schlatt” you say as your boyfriend hugs you from behind “jus’ take a break, c’mon it won’t kill ya” he says as you roll your eyes and finally agree

“okay, but no funny business” you say putting the rag down and washing your hands to dance with him. he smiles at you, leaning into you and softly singing the lyrics to you as you smile

before you know it, you find yourselves making out with the music in the background, cleaning supplies forgotten but you’ll get to cleaning tomorrow

he genuinely puts so much love and passion into your relationship, getting you flowers, making the most out of little moments, etc.

he will be as romantic as he can be

meeting your cousins sucks for him though

they (especially if you have any male cousins) side eye him most of the time when they first meet him

they don’t mean to be rude but wtf is a random boy doing in their home???

your male cousins (esp if they see you as a little sister) don’t think anyone is good enough for you

they try to scare off schlatt at first but it doesn’t work so they try plan B

making him stay stupid shit in spanish infront of the family until he gets embarrassed and decides not to return (spoiler it doesn’t work)

“say ‘tengo el pene chiquito’ ” a cousin says to schlatt “tengo el pene chiquito(i have a small dick)?” schlatt asks as they snicker and nod “yeah just like that, don’t change a word” they say laughing while schlatt nods in acknowledgment

“ok, just don’t change a word” they say laughing while you go up to schlatt “y/n, guess what?” he asks you “hm?”

“te voy a dar mis hijos (im gonna give you my kids)” he says making you go red and your cousins stare at him

“hablas español (you speak spanish)?” they ask as he nods

most of your family interrogating him AND you

“does he treat you well?” “does he make good money?” “would he make you work” “cuantos hijos quiere (how many kids does he want)?” “es católico? (is he catholic)” etc.

at the end they decide that they approve of him

he should watch him back if you guys have a nasty break up though (warned by any male family member of urs)

“haha, just don’t break her heart” one of your uncles says to schlatt, laughing and shaking him as schlatt laughs nervously

“no seriously, hurt her and you’re dead, i’ve been to prison, i’ll go again”

at the end of the day as long as you’re happy, they’ll be happy

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 434 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made and the collages.)

OK, GONNA GO THROUGH THIS QUICK THIS TIME AND ONLY GONNA SHED LIGHT ON THE PARTS IN THIS CHAPTER THAT CAUGHT MY EYES. 👁👁

Last chapter was CRAZY MAN. WTHHHH

DAMN SHE EVEN HIT HIM WITH THE SMACK 😭😭😭

“GRANDMA CHILL! I SWEAR IMMA BRING YOU CLOTHES NEXT TIME-” 💀💀💀

Um… wtf? 😀

LOOK AT BABY BOY, USING HIS OWN ACTING SKILLS LIKE THAT. 😩😩💓💓💓 Or is he actually crying? Idk, can't tell. Oh, and “Grandma bullied me, mom.” 😐

HOW DOES SHE KNOW CHARLES CHOI??? MF A CELEBRITY AROUND THESE STREETS. Him and Jinyeong both bruv. 😭😭😭 (Also, “Too late mom. Already met him and he attempted to kill me too.” /j Charles Choi and Grandma would make a perfect couple. 😌✨)

Awww, is that baby Daniel? 😭 Also, wait a damn minute. Why does he look like...

I'M SORRY, BUT HE REMINDED ME OF THIS CHEEP CHEEP FROM MARIO KART. B R U H. THEY LOOK ALIKE. 😭😭😭😭

The typos on here. 😅 "Choio" DFJKDSAHFKLSHDSJLKF SORRY. The first time I was reading this, I had to reread because I thought I was crazy for a sec.

DANG, WE'VE BEEN GETTING A LOT OF NEW CHARACTERS WITH GLASSES RECENTLY. First that ONE HOT LADY from Tiger Job Center, then that ATTRACTIVE DOCTOR who was with Goo, and then NOW A POLICE OFFICER??? PTJ TRYING TO BRING OUT MORE GLASSES REPRESENTATION. 😩💘

UMMMM SIR??? YOU'RE GETTING SHITTED ON. LITERALLY!!!! 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

You guys wish you were that cow, huh...? 👀 Yeah, I see you. You can't fool me...

Woah, woah, woah, woah... RUN THAT BY ME REALY QUICK?!?! AYO, WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO A HORROR MOVIE? WHAT IS THIS, CHILDREN OF THE CORN? 1922???? 👁👁

Aw shit. Danny boy is gonna get gang.... (banged). SORRY. I CAN'T HELP IT-

OMG DANIEL. BEAT THEM UPPP!!!! 😤😤👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽

Dude. Why did I think this was Zack Lee for a second? 😳😳 (Zack and Gun if they had a child together LMFAO) ALSO THIS NEW GUY IS HOT AF. WHO IS HEEEEEE??? 😩🔥🔥🔥 (And we haven't gotten any naked scenes ever since Samuel, so is PTJ giving us some fan service since Samuel can't do the job right now...? 👀)

WTH IS HE IN A TUB FULL OF SNAKES? N A K E D ? 😳 I mean... if he's into getting his thing bitten- 👀 NAH, NAH, NAH, IM KIDDING, I SWEAR. 😭😭😭😭

I don't blame you if you stared at him for more than a minute.

Omg Daniel embodying his 😵 phase. BUT FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK. THIS MAN IS BACK!!!!! HE'S FUCKING BACCCKKKKK. AEEEUUUUGGHHHHH. HE STILL LOOKS SEXY AF EVEN IF THIS IS JUST A FLASHBACK. 🥴🥴🥴🥴

YOU BET YOUR ASSES, I WILL SIMP OVER THIS MAN. H A R D.

*N S F W M E M E S W A R N I N G*

I DON'T WANNA SPIT, I WANNA GULP. I WANNA GAG, I WANNA CHOKE. I WANT YOU TO TOUCH THAT LIL' DANGLY THING THAT SWING IN THE BACK OF MY THROAT!!! 🥵🥵🥵🥵

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M GETTING FLASHBACKS WHEN GUN HAD TO BEAT UP SAMUEL AND TELL HIM OFF. 😭😭😭😭

I can just imagine that horrifying face of his. Smiling so menacingly with those terrifying eyes. Like yessss king, go crazy!!! 😍😍😍

LOOK AT THESE DAREDEVILS. DAAAAAAAMN. TERRIFYING AS HELL. 🤭 DANNY BOY REALLY GOT IT FROM GUN FRFR. (Ugh, like father like son. Daniel could be my son- I mean, what? 😀)

I FUCKING KNEW IT. THIS FOUR EYED MF WAS SHADY FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!!! LIKE WHY TF WAS THAT CREEP STANDING THERE BEHIND HIM AND DANIEL, LOOKING LIKE ONE OF THEM PSYCHO NPC'S FROM OUTLAST 2 ????? BRUH GOT ME FUCKED UP. 😤😤😤

Ok, but why does this mf look like a DILF??? HE LOOKS LIKE A MIXTURE OF MANAGER KIM FROM HIS OWN WEBTOON AND ELITE WHEN HE WAS STILL YOUNG. LMFAAOOOOOO (I'm deadass ab this. They're attractive ngl.) AND WHY DO THE VILLAINS LOOK HOT AF? I'M NOT AGAINST IT, BUT I FEEL LIKE PTJ IS INTO SEXY VILLAINS. HE HAS A KINK FOR THEM. AND HE B R E A T H E S THEM. IN AND OUT. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 (Update: I guess Kwak Jichang LITERALLY IS a piece of shit. Think about it… 💩)

ANYWAYS, we finna see who these Chungcheon mf's are next chapter. Hopefully, we get to know what the deal is with these people hating on Jinyeong. Bc I STG, IF THIS DRAGS OUT FOR THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS, I’M GONNA LOSE IT. 😠😤👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome, everyone, to Unions In College: Targaryen edition! That's right, all my fears about the distant cousin dating situation are about to come true and as a sign of things to come, I originally started this update last weekend and then got food poisoning in the middle of it. We've finally reached the point where the Unions are making me actually vomit and not metaphorically! Because of the new pic limit, this is part 1 of the update and I'll post part 2 right after.

We have arrived at La Fiesta and everyone looks simply amazing, especially Barth in his cowboy look. As Felina and Meadow (Fedow??) immediately reconnect, we are greeted by some #MajorDormieDrama:

Apparently a love triangle between Purple Hair Glasses, Awesomely Dressed Raver Dude and Former Blue Dog Shirt has formed right under my nose! It's so moving to see how between Gunther, Cyn and Sophito, we have used and discarded all 3 of these people multiple times over each generation❤️

-Screw you, Former Blue Dog Shirt, I gave you my precious dormie heart and this is how you repay me?? -I'm sorry, Purple Hair Glasses, it's just that we know each other so well that things got stale!

Seriously when did you dormie losers even find the time to develop relationships?? Last few gens we've been staying at the dorms for about 20 seconds each run like wtf.

ANYWAY, let me go give the kids makeovers and definitely not deal with something that will make me think my hood is corrupted and cause me to have a mild heart attack!

CLAIRE WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE

-There's some empty rooms so I'm moving in!

WHAT. YOU'RE LIKE 60YO

-Once a dormie always a dormie! Lakshmi is coming too!

WHAT

-Hi Mom! -Hi sweetie, I'm here to relive my youth!

I don't have any pics after this as I was FREAKING TF OUT. After Claire, Laksmhi aka Blue Meatballs aka ANOTHER 60 YO FORMER DORMIE WHOSE KID IS ATTENDING COLLEGE ALSO MOVED IN. I'm pretty sure if the dorm wasn't at capacity Stacy was also gonna move in, WTF.

Mercifully I resolved this shit by going to the main hood and having everyone's elder birthdays, they were only a few days away anyway, and once they turned into elders they fucked off and new dormies moved in. I think it was some unintended consequence of the no dormie regen mod??? No idea but it was SCARY.

Moving on, I was worried whether Fedow's teen romance was gonna translate to college but I legit didn't even have time to give them makeovers, it's straight to Daniel's old room where all the CC is missing!

-Can you please read the undecorated room and fuck off?

Yes yes, let me catch up with the rest of our beloved dormies..

Oh look, a newly-generated dormie is here, ok, we are safe from the crazed geriatrics!

-Hiiii I'm your new age-appropriate dormie friend :)

-As am I!

I'm so happy to see you guys I'm not even gonna comment on the fact you're both Don clones, will this face template ever stop haunting me?? Well whatever, looks like no dormie marriages for us for a while..

-WHAT?!?!

Omg Miss Havisham I didn't see you there in your bridal veil and underwear, of course we'll marry you!

-Really? You mean it??

Let's move on!

Aww, Fedow is back in love! Note that this happened so fast I still have not been able to give them them their makeovers. Alright Meadow, falling back in love so quickly seals it, you're marrying in!

-YAY🌞

Now it's time to gaze upon your LTW panel and see what awaits me and I'm certain it won't shake me to my very core!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MEADOW WHAT THE FUCK

Frankly I don't even feel bad for myself, this is what I deserve for violating the 'no family aspiration spouses' rule I instituted after Wyatt. So to recap, Felina wants 3 top-carreer kids and Meadow wants 6 married off ones!! Fml!!!

-You know, Spice, the more I look at your nose the more I think you should invest in a good, wide-brim hat like your father. -The more I look at Meadow's LTW I think you should invest in some birth control.

VERY TRUE. Ok Felina, please fuck off so I can introduce the cousins.

-You're not gonna introduce ME?!

Ya I think people know both you and Bartholomew all too well if anything!

We begin with Spice, Sugar and Claire's shockingly good-looking-until-you-look-at-him-from-the-side-and-see-the-Don-nose son. I gotta give it to Claire's gene's, they put up a heroic fight.

Neat: 10 Outgoing: 6 Active: 10 Playful: 3 Nice: 5 Aspiration: Knowledge  Secondary Aspiration: Fortune One True Hobby: Science LTW: Become Game Designer Major: Art

Introducing this generation's punching bag aka Reginald and Half-Alien-Prof's son, Britannicus. Here he is being hit in the face by a baseball thrown by Barth.

Neat: 9 Outgoing: 9 Active: 7 Playful: 5 Nice: 3 Aspiration: Fortune Secondary Aspiration: Popularity One True Hobby: Fitness LTW: Become Hall of Famer Major: Poli-sci

Julian and Stacy's daughter, Sunsent, whomst we've already met and I LOVE, I'm obsessed with her face.

Neat: 8 Outgoing: 8 Active: 1 Playful: 5 Nice: 7 Aspiration: Popularity  Secondary Aspiration: Pleasure One True Hobby: Cuisine LTW: Become Icon Major: Drama

Meadow, whose teen outfit I actually sat down and converted to adult because none of the existing conversions of this iconic outfit were accurate enough for me!

Neat: 4 Outgoing: 4 Active: 4 Playful: 7 Nice: 6 Aspiration: Family Secondary Aspiration: Pleasure One True Hobby: Nature LTW: Not gonna type it Major: Art

Last but certainly not least, June and Blue Meatball's daughter, Cyan, who is a super nice FREAK just like her mommy. She also has one of the iconic @lamare-sims custom LTWs, make 10k playing poker, I had a lot of fun giving her a stereotypical poker pro makeover huhu

Neat: 9 Outgoing: 3 Active: 8 Playful: 4 Nice: 10 Aspiration: Pleasure Secondary Aspiration: Fortune One True Hobby: Tinkering (she's a Tinker-Union, awww) LTW: Make 10k Playing Poker Major: Math

Cousins aren't the only thing we brought to college with us, as someone also brought over this FUCKING COLD that's been ravaging the neighborhood this entire generation.

I've been tracing this thing and I'm pretty sure it originated in Claire's household where fucking Wilfred came home from work sick and he passed it to Spice, then Spice came over to visit his bum dad Sugar, passed it to the main house, then Sunset came over from school with Barth, got it from the main house and passed it to the June/Julian/Blue Meatballs/Stacy household who then passed it to Daniel's household. So basically the only unaffected house is Gunther and Melody! That's why never seeing your kids is the right call.

We spend our first night skilling as everyone this generation is a complete moron with no skill points. I had both Barth and Felina choose the psychology major as I feel they will need those skills (for vastly different reasons) given their LTW's and Barth wastes no time putting his new charisma skill point to good use!

-YOU SICKEN ME, DON-FACED FUGGO. NOW GO ON A DATE WITH ME

Bro I can't. This is the first LTW so far where I actually feel like I CAN'T DO IT. How tf am I gonna convince 20 sims to sleep with this freakshow?!?!

-Did someone say chin filler??

NO I DID NOT, GUNNAR, GET OUT OF HERE, I'M NOT THAT DESPERATE

-Wooo mama, he can Roque my Gunnar if you know what I mean!!

ABSOLUTELY NOT. We've made some questionable choices in this legacy but Gunnar Roque is where I draw the line, that chin is not entering our gene pool.

-I'm not saying I'll marry him!

OH PLEASE BARTH BE FOR FUCKING REAL. It's been 5 generations of this bullshit, we all know if I let you date him you'll be rejecting every sim and forcing me to marry you to the ugliest and creepiest option. NOT HAPPENING

-Don't worry, Gunnar, I will fight for us!!! -That's fire bro, let me know, I'm around. Peace. -Oh God, we're a match made in heaven! How can you stand in the way of true love??

What? Sorry I spaced out, I seriously can't believe this comparison between your chins. God.

-JUST BECAUSE I'M FIGHTING FOR GUNNAR DOESN'T MEAN I WON'T ALSO FIGHT YOU, BITCH! SNEAK ATTACK! -SAVE ME, MEADOW!

-Lalala, painting pretty pictures for one of my six nurseries🎵☀️

Meadow, I'm getting a distinct feeling that you might turn out to be my worst nightmare??

Anyway, time to invite over placeholder Jimmy Phoenix so we can start the arduous process of getting into our Greek House, Britannicus is up first-

-AND WE DISCOVER HE MIGHT HAVE SOME GUNTHER BLOOD IN HIM AFTER ALL LOL. THIS WAS LITERALLY HIS FIRST INTERACTION WITH HIM, GO BRIT

Boy, that escalated quickly and I think we have Sophito to thank for it. He dumped Jimmy and then forced him to stick around and watch him bang the entire campus, making him desperate enough to go for Britannicus! Family truly means helping each other out❤️

Jimmy lingered here after Britannicus got in in record time, so I seized the opportunity to have everyone befriend him so we can leave this dump asap and move to our own dump.

-So, Jimmy, I'm a pleasure aspiration and if I were to get into the house I'd be constantly throwing parties and inviting all my family! ALL my family, like my uncle Sophito! -Nice try, Cyan, but you're way too late! 10 minutes too late, to be exact, since that's how long I've been an incredibly serious relationship with Britannicus!!

-BRITANNICUUUUUUUUUUUS... THE STARS SHINE UPON YOUR NAME -Oh my.

JIMMY. REIN IT IN, FAM

-I will not!

-So ya, that time with Sophito doesn't count so I can't wait to have my very first woohoo with my lover, Britannicus! -That's great, can I please join the Greek House now? -Oh is that why I'm here? Sure you can!

Alright flops, pack it up, time to fuck off to the Greek House.

-LOVE HAS MADE YOU SOFT, FAILINA -THAT'S A PROBLEM YOU'LL NEVER HAVE, VIRGIN

See you in part 2!

[kingofpopmj]

Ok here’s one

Why are his legs so god damn hot?

I don’t think I’ve ever really paid much attention to a guys legs but his are just ??????? So long???

A bitch just wants to sit on his lap cause bro

His fucking LEGS!!!

HIS LEGS!!!!!!!

The way I want him to kick me with them strong ass legs. I’d thank him immediately too.

The strength in them legs. I just know they are sculpted af under those pants 🥵

I want to rest my head on his thighs as he strokes my hair… he’s got a nice butt too..

No. Stay on topic Nevaeh. Legs.

THIS SHIT!?!!!!

Stop. His legs are so slender and powerful. I’m having unholy thoughts.. don’t even get me started on his mfn hips…. HIS HIPS!!

DON’T FORGET ABOUT THIS!!

This damn strip tease. Let me be your microphone stand boo! Bc wtf… that should be me.

Toe stand? I’m here for it. Spread them legs sir.

The knee pads are just rubbing it in bc he knows damn well he didn’t need them shits! It’s overkill Michael!! Keep going though.. He just wanted us to lose our damn minds at the thought of what tf he’d used them for… like why sir? Like are you that rough 🫨

The audacity of this man. Continue on king.

Continue to wreck me 😭

[mrhowells]

Smallville 4x01

I'm about to go full unhinged for Lois watch me (I will also go down in history as absolute clois trash, you've officially been warned)

THAT'S MY WIFE JUST LOOK AT HERRR (what an icon😭)

"Lois. Lois Lane." If you listen closely you can hear me screaming in the distance

these people are literally my parents😭

LMAOOO

Ok but that's honestly such an iconic first meeting, romcoms are quaking in their boots

"My future is lying in that bed. I will not give up on him."

I have so much love for Martha😭😭

🎶she looks just like a dream, the prettiest girl I've ever seeeen🎶

I'm down on one knee I am proposing I just need one chance Lois I am free tomorrow or any other day if you're ever free-

Lois: "Well you're gonna have to get through me first."

Clark: *picks her up and puts her down slightly to the right*

Lois:

real.

"Guess I'm a sucker for stray dogs and naked guys."

again, real.

OMG I JUST REMEMBERED, Lex drank poison or sth in the season 3 finale, right? Dude how did I forget that💀 And what exactly happened there, was it Lionel?

wtf is Jor-El hoping to accomplish with this shit🤡 And will Clark remember where he was the last three months at some point?

I stopped breathing for a second bc HOLY FUCK WHAT A SCENE

up up and away

And Lana is turning 18 tomorrow? How old is Jason supposed to be here? I'll have my eye on him🤨

"Not me. Give me a nerd with glasses any day of the week."

"Clark has many sides." Martha bestie, why are you saying that like you're pitching him as a potential husband when you don't even know her yet😭😭

I am LOOKING 👀

ugh his hair looks so good again (they really go all out for season premieres huh)

I mean I already know it's Jason at Lana's door but why tf is he knocking like that💀💀

Martha & Jonathan making out in the hospital as soon as he's conscious again askksjsk good for them

Exactly. Everybody bow down to Martha Kent🙇‍♀️

MOTHER

I GET THE FEELING YOU LIKE TO DO THINGS YOURSELF MY FATHER RAISED ME TO BE INDEPENDENT AND SELF SUFFICIENT THAT'D BE ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE YOU YOU KNOW THE ONLY THING I LIKE ABOUT YOU ATTHE MOMENT IS YOUR MOM

yes I have this dialogue memorized leave me alone

look at these sick people flirting in a goddamn graveyard, zero decorum & chemistry off the fucking charts I am LIVING

welcome to my truly unhinged era

[whyse7vn]

BREAK -

[ot7 x reader]

PEACE AND LOVE 😁💗

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jk: guys i’m lost ☹️

jimin: like emotionally??

tae: or sexually?

jk: woah um

idk anymore

jin: probably psychologically

yoongi: what’s new?

namjoon: jungkook you are in your kitchen

y/n: can confirm he is in the kitchen.

yoongi: loser

jin: what’s with the punctuation lmao

jk: woah i am in our kitchen

how did i get here

good morning guys ^0^

jin: it’s 7pm?

y/n: he’s hungover.

jk: yeah T-T

jimin: not surprised drank jin’s body weight in alcohol yesterday

jk: there was a lot going on :((

yoongi: so you result to alcoholism?

namjoon: it’s better than resulting to violence!!!

y/n: hoseok can’t relate.

hobi: i said i’m sorry 😓

jin: jimin i’ve thought about it and i really think you’re projecting when it comes to this weight thing

jimin: project a vegetable

jin: project a cure for the body issues you CEARLY have

namjoon: guys

jk: ants playing ddr in my head rn

i’m so upset

also how do i take about a loan?

i want a loan

namjoon: jungkook you do not need a loan

jk: ok

i’m sorry

namjoon: jungkook you better not be crying right now

jk: i’m not crying

y/n: he is crying

but that is not important rn.

can we talk about yesterday because what the fuck?

tae: YESSS i’ve been waiting for this

whoever wants the video of hobi punching the shit out of jaehyun you have to me pay at least 4k

namjoon: what is wrong with you

tae: if you want it with sound i have to charge extra

tae changed the gc name to “HOBI GOT HANDS”

y/n: not funny.

namjoon: taehyung please

jin: can’t believe hobi fr punched him

yoongi: i can

hobi: y/n you still mad??

jin: she’s using punctuation

she’s furious ☠️

jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼

who tf says that

jin: OHMYGOD GET OF MY DICK FOR ONE SECOND I’M BEGGING

jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼

tae: is she fast too lmao

y/n: shut the fuck up taehyung

tae: okay!

y/n: my boyfriend is fine btw

if any of you actually care

yoongi: don’t

hobi: i’m sorry

y/n: you laughed after you made him bleed

yoongi: didn’t you laugh too lol??

y/n: OKAY I DID A LITTLE

but that’s before i realised hoseok hit him for real

jin: you can hit someone for fake?

tae: you can watch her smile fall after the second punch in the video it’s really funny actually!!!!!!!

y/n: didnt i tell you to shut the fuck up?

tae: you did

i’m sorry

shutting up

like rn ong 🙏🏼

🤐

jin: ?

jimin: it means on god

jin: stop talking to me

jimin: sorry just making sure you got it

slang sure has changed since 1781!!!

jin: 1781????????

jk: omg that’s that one hamilton song

hobi: there is no hamilton song called 1781

jimin: are we talking about the 1975

tae: the what

hobi: aren’t they white?

tae: they????

jimin: HAMILTONS WHITE????

yoongi: the real one is

jimin: there’s a fake hamilton??

tae: hamilton a they/them?

namjoon: you can’t say that

y/n: why are we talking about hamilton?

tae: why can’t i say that?

am i pissing off the feminists? ☠️☠️☠️

namjoon: this has nothing to do with feminism

jin: i’m a feminist

tae: did my they/them hamilton question offend you??

jin: tf does that even mean

jimin: born in 1066 doesn’t even know what pronouns are

jin: fuck you and ur proverbs

y/n: he literally said pronouns

tae: i’m a prosexhaver

yoongi: you have stds

hobi: personally i would like to shoot taehyung

jk: sex haver????

jin: virgin

y/n: he makes me sick

jimin: oh i HATE him

namjoon: deep breaths

tae: ???

wtf

why did you all just turn on me like that?

guys are you jealous of my sex having abilities?

everyone be honest now

y/n: you clearly don’t know what shutting the fuck up includes

tae: ok i’m sorry

never speaking again starting in like

an hour

i promise

y/n: how about now

tae: 30 mins?

y/n: kys

tae: stop flirting omg 🤭

yoongi: idiot

jk: WAIT OMG?

HOBI FR PUNCHED JAEHYUN??/! ö

jin: you were literally there??

jk: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A DREAM

OHMYGOD

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HEHEHE

OMG HOBI THATS CRAZY

UR CRAZY

hobi: i’m not crazy

jimin: like crazy

y/n: you think it’s funny??

jk: NO

no

absolutely not wtf

????????

hoseok why would you do that?

that’s so messed up

shame on you really

shame on you

jimin: ur pathetic actually

namjoon: anyways hobi it was wrong of you to result to violence just because you were jealous

please apologise

y/n please accept his apology you know hobi wouldn’t never want to upset you on purpose he loves and cares for you deeply

kiss and make up guys

you don’t want to fuck up our group dynamic do you???

no?

didn’t think so!!

wow would you look at that we are all friends again

smooth like butter 🧈 💛

dynamite 🧨

borahae in this bangtan shit for life 💜💜

y/n: kys

jk: KISS???????????

jin: hobi was jealous?

hobi: NO?????????

yoongi: interesting

jimin: yeah that’s crazy

hobi: I WASN’T I SWEAR

namjoon: you weren’t???

oh

my fault

hobi: yeah your fault

maybe ur just projecting lol

jimin: yeah calling bullshit

if you didn’t punch him out of jealously

what did you punch him for???

tae: it’s cuz he was like feeling her up right in front of our faces right??

have he no respect?

jk: respect no he have?

tae: stop

jk: sorry

tae: actually nvm you were agreeing with me

agree some more

jk: i agree some more

tae: see?

jk: see??

tae: what a nasty pervert freak of a man

namjoon: look in a mirror

jimin: that’s crazy because i wasn’t talking you

tae: right joon shut the hell up

jk: zip it

jimin: you as in YOU taehyung and jungkook

i was talking to hobi not you guys

jk: oh

tae: we talk for hobi

hobi: no you don’t

tae: we ARE hobi

jk: i’m not hobi

or am i?????

ohmgod am i???

yoongi: ur all so annoying

y/n: ok hoseok wasn’t jealous are you stupid??

why would he be jealous?????

hobi: right!

i was drunk

jin: i swear you didn’t drink last night??

hobi: ur not helping?

jimin: i’m telling you it’s bullshit

tae: ok now let’s talk about how that was coolest thing hobi’s ever done in his life should of tagged me in fr fr

i would of gone crazy no joke 💯💯

we would of got him so bad hobi

#dreamteam 😍

namjoon: taehyung

tae: what?

i’m just saying

y/n: say one more thing

tae: i’m sorry

sorry

SORRY 😢

jimin: so the plot thickens!!

hobi: there is not plot

there is no jealousy

jin: ok why did you punch him then

hobi: i was drunk i said that already

jin: you DIDN’T drink

guys why is he lying to us

do you not trust us???

come on step into my office hoseok

open up to daddy jin

y/n: ew???

jin: ew?

y/n: that’s what i said

jin: but in spainnnnnn

y/n: stop

jin: 🫰🏻

yoongi: hobi do you want to fuck y/n?

hobi: what

yoongi: answer the question

y/n: yoongi wtf???

namjoon: yoongi please

jk: DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER

hobi: i’m not answering that wtf

jimin: i think we all know his answer anyways

yoongi: yeah

but i want him to say it

tae: waitttt kinky

say it hoseok 😋😋😋

namjoon: can we not rn…

jimin: tae you definitely need to add him to ur stupid little group chat

tae: ummmm

it’s not stupid it’s real actually

jk: real men only!!!

tae: hobi are you a real man?

hobi: what

tae: are you real??

hobi: yeah

jk: say it

hobi: say what?

tae: i’m real

hobi: i’m real?

tae: REAL UGLY

HAHAHA

jk: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

hobi: u guys are so unfunny it hurts

tae: got you lolz

namjoon: taehyung stop talking

tae: forgive me? 🥺

hobi tried to come for what we stand for

hobi: i literally didn’t???

it was jimin

jin: hey wait what group chat??

let me in what the hell

yoongi: no

jin: ur in the gc too??

yoongi: am i?

jk: he is

tae me joon and yoongi 💓

namjoon: can you stfu.

jin: EVEN JOON??????

let me in or ur all going to hell

y/n: yeah me too wtf??

tae: jin

between me and you

your invite may arrive soon

i’ve seen your eyes wondering as of late

jin: ????

what

yeah ok nvm!

i think i’ll live not being in ur gc

and if this is about what i think it’s about

count me out

jk: aw man :/

tae: wow so many haters in this life

you’ll regret this

you’ll be begging on ur knees to join real soon

y/n: WHAT ABOUT ME HELLO????

jk: hiiiiiii ^_^

y/n: ykw nvm idc

yoongi: you do

y/n: not

yoongi: yeah ok :3

namjoon: there is no group chat

jk: ??? yes there is don’t be silly joon 😂😂

namjoon: OHMYGOD LEARN HOW TO TAKE A FUCKING HINT

can we move on

wtf why am i asking you guys

i’m the leader

we are moving on.

y/n: THIS IS SEGREGATION

jk: ohmygod is this a race thing???

namjoon not again

jimin: LMFAOOOSJDJJK

y/n: i mean i was talking about gender

but this could be a race thing

is this a race thing????

jk: OHMYGOD NAMJOON UR A SEXIST TOO????

i thought that was just jimin

jin: no ur right

jk: oh ok!

jimin: can you stop

i’m NOT a sexist ok

but hobi DID punch jaehyun

hobi: wtf is ur problem

jimin: sorry i needed to put everyone back on track xx

hobi: there is no track

jimin: no there is a track and i put everyone back on it

jk: train track

yoongi: lay on one?

tae: LAYOVER YES

i know that album

it’s really good

indigo flopped

namjoon: shut up shut up shut up shut up

tae: so like gf wyd rn? *kicks feet giggles*

yoongi kicked tae out of “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

yoongi: not sorry

jk: it’s ok i forgive you

yoongi: shut up

jk: ok

y/n: he told me we should go on a break…

jk: i had a break on my bike once

then it broke

so i had a breakless bike

and i couldn’t brake

so to stop i would just pedal into walls

my bike to this day has no breaks it makes me sad

namjoon: jungkook please just get a new bike

and y/n i’m sorry to hear about your break

jk: ok >.<

y/n: thanks ig

namjoon: wait

??????

break

ur on break

with jaehyun?

y/n: no i’m on a break with fucking usher

jin: A BREAK?????????????

jimin: WOAH WAIT HOLD ON

yoongi: is he fucking stupid???

jk: USHER???

hobi: no jungkook she’s talking about jaehyun

jk: oh

hobi: jaehyun

nct jaehyun your friend jaehyun.

jk: OHMYGOD WAIT WHAT WHATWHENDHDHDJDJD WHAT OHMYGOF OHMSYSH DKEJEJDJG SISHDJXMISSHENDODJDIDUSJEJFJDKDKFNDBDNDMDNDFNFNFNFMMF

jk added tae to “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

jk: LOOK

tae: hey guys u missed me 😁?

jk: LOOK

tae: looking

jk: LOOKSKKSKSKDKDKDDKK

tae: holy shit

y/n are you ok??

jimin: THIS IS INSANE

y/n: yeah fuck him and fuck his break

yoongi: i’ll break his neck

jin: jungkook get ur friend

jk: JSNDNDNNDJJDJDFJNDJDJDJDJD ahshshxhdnxndnxnd JAJSHDBSBDBXBXNXNXJXJXJZHHXHXBSHSHSHXHZJZJXJXJXJJXJXJJDD SHSNDNDNDNDNXNDJJDXJXJXJX DHXJDJDNDNDNXXNZN

tae: woah

hobi: but are you like actually ok???

y/n: never been better

namjoon: no fr it’s ok if you’re upset

y/n: i’m not upset

jimin: wow

so like

wow

idk how to comfort people namjoon say something

namjoon: there there?

jin: chin up!!!!!

jk: I AM ALSO SINGLE THIS IS SUCH A COINCIDENCE LIKE WE ARE BOTH SINGLE AT THE SAME TIME WOW LIKE YEAH UR ON A HREAK BUT UR BASICALLY SINGLE THATS REALLY CRAZY LIKE HAHA LOL WE ARE SINGLE LOOK AT US TWO SINGLE PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO LIVE TOGETHER MAYBE WE SHOULD IDK LIKE HEHEH JSJSJJSJDJ

yoongi: when are we jumping him??

i can leave now

y/n: shut up

yoongi: you coming over?

y/n: no?

yoongi: boo

y/n: i’m going to hobi’s

hobi: you are??

jimin: to fight or fuck??

y/n: shut up

jin: that’s crazy

hobi broke up a happy home

hobi: i’m genuinely so sorry

i didn’t mean to

y/n: wasn’t even ur fault don’t apologise

he was a acting weird for a while

wanted to live in denial but it’s whatever idc!!!!!!!

tae: you clearly do care and that’s ok

y/n: i DON’T

tae: y/n

y/n: taehyung

jimin: ew like why is taehyung being all serious i hate it

tae: cuz this is serious

y/n: it’s not

tae: it’s ok to be upset

y/n: i know and i’m NOT

tae: y/n

y/n: i’m not upset omg????

stop being weird i’m like so ok it’s crazy

jimin: like crazy lolz

jin: that is the second time you’ve made that joke and it was just as unfunny as it was the first time you said it

jimin: why are you keeping tabs on me and what i say get a LIFE

jin: you make me want to kms

jimin: do it

jin: namjoon get him before i get violent

namjoon: guys can you see we have bigger issues going on rn

be serious for once

y/n: i’m fine

there is no serious issue

i’m ok

no tears

no noting

i’m fine ok? ok

tae: y/n

y/n: tae stop

ykw ur pissing me off

ur all pissing me off

y/n left “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

hobi: oh wow

jin: i didn’t even do anything fr

jimin: i blame tae

yoongi: jaehyun is a bitch

jk: do you think she’ll let me kiss her now?

namjoon: jungkook shut up

tae do NOT message her

and yoongi do not even THINK about leaving your house rn

i think we need to have a group meeting or something

—

sorry this sucks i just needed a reason to get rid of jaehyun so we could move forward LMAO i’m sorry better things coming soon 😁🙏🏽

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin