#yeah this was written out of spite lol

[esamastation]

Well

Metagaming started with a plan and then veered WAY off course. Also, a little bit of spite was maybe involved.

Might end up lol. But yeah, the Cast Iron thing was plan from the very start. There was also some video I watched on YouTube, can't remember by who, but it had a mention of concept of mana in Polynesian cultures and how it can be gained through sexual acts, etc, not really important. Still, there was some spite and previous random research influencing the planning process.

*going out his way.

Yeah, so the original plan was for Shen Qingqiu to figure out the sex thing out and also have a lot of it probably, and eventually turning it into mastery, etc etc. It was a fun enough plan. There was going to be a lot of smut. Experienced and confident sqq, hell yeah.

.... And then I actually wrote a bit further and the story turned into something else. Arguably what it ended up becoming as it progressed is probably better - but I still have this other story in my head about Sqq with more confident and comfortable attitude towards his own, healthy, sex life. Alas, no plan survives encounter with the enemy and Sqq's various issues won, and then various issues of Qing Jing Peak started cropping up. That's the risk you take when you go in depth - you find the depths.

Still, the rough shape of the harem survived, if not all the educational and casual sex I was planning for sqq to be having. His character just didn't work with it.

Yeaaah this sort of thing happens to me a lot. I start writing one thing and end up writing another. But that's fine, it was fun exploring mental health care and stuff in xianxia setting and it went interesting directions later on in Character Optimisation. I ended up hanging onto the idea of "Sqq as eventual Master of Dual Cultivation" probably to the story's overall detriment, really should've killed my darling there, but I just couldn't. Hindsight is whatever, that's just what happens sometimes when plans go awry.

I haven't abandoned the fic yet. The last part is going to be called Power Levelling and I have like 10% of the start and 20% of the end roughly planned out but I have no idea what happens in the middle and that's why I haven't yet written a word of it. Still, I hold onto hope. I'll write it one day.

In conclusion, plans change, stories go off the rails and overall it's all going to be okay 👍

[toomuchracket]

falling for you (flatmate!matty x reader)

promptober day 10, and there was nobody else i could have written this for. a fluffy but slightly angsty pining lovesick moment, before the two of you are actually flatmates and you're just babies on nights out in manc. i hope you enjoy!

p.s. yeah, i know the pic is the wrong era for this, lol. but it's alllll about the vibes <3

matty's trying his damnedest not to stare at you right now.

he's failing miserably, though. the copious amount of alcohol in his body is rinsing all the sense out of his brain - well, what little you hadn't already stolen from him when you met him earlier outside your halls of residence, all made-up and glowing - and he really cannot tear his eyes away from you, saying bye to your friends at the door of the nightclub.

matty blinks, and self-awareness hits him like a freight train. nah. he's being weird. he needs to get a grip.

but then you turn towards him, waiting on behalf of both of you in the cloakroom queue, and you smile, and all thoughts about stopping looking at you fly out of matty's head. how can he be expected to focus on anything but that face of yours? the vodka's made your beautiful eyes softer, and a combination of marlboros and mac lipstick have made your lips pouty and kissable. well, more so than usual, matty thinks.

he's so distracted by your beauty that he almost doesn't hear the cloakroom attendant shout him up to the window. stumbling slightly - he'd say over his own feet, you'd say due to drunkenness (and you'd be right) - matty exchanges his two tickets for the jackets you and him had been all but forced to wear to prevent the freezing october air getting to you, and wanders over to you. wordlessly, in a well-rehearsed routine, he slings his own jacket over his shoulder as he helps you into yours.

you murmur a thank you. "you hungry?"

for you, yes. for a kebab, no, matty wishes he could say. but he can't, so he just shakes his head.

"neither am i," you say, helping him zip up his leather jacket. your dexterity has been diminished by your drinking, and one of the fringes on the sleeve of your own coat gets stuck between the metal teeth of his. clearly, your brain has also been affected by the alcohol; you frown at the zip, unable to see why it won't move. "huh?"

matty smiles, moving to help you. "got caught on your coat. sorry, darlin'."

"oh, s'fine. thanks," you reply, as you're unstuck once again. with a smile, you hold a hand out to matty. "shall we?"

like he'd ever say no to you. "we shall."

and the walk back to your uni begins.

if it had been raining, matty would have done the gentlemanly thing and sprung for a taxi. but it isn't, for once; actually, he thinks, it's kind of a perfect night. the sky is inky-black, devoid of any clouds, and the two of you are just drunk enough that the streetlights look just as pretty as the stars you can't see from so far into the city like this. he's more thankful for the cold air now than he was before the two of you went out - after the close heat of the nightclub, and the internal glow of the however many shots you did, the coolness is welcome. that, and it forces you to secure matty's hand in your own for warmth, which is maybe the most perfect aspect of the night, in his opinion.

naturally, then, a pang of heartbreak hits him when you break the hold to rifle through your handbag. when you procure a half-empty pack of cigs, though, it dissipates.

"want one?" you ask, holding the open end of the packet towards matty.

"no thanks, sweetheart," he says. he isn't lying: the thought of anything clouding his vision of you, even cigarette smoke, is unbearable. but then a spark of an idea crackles somewhere in his brain - whether it's in spite of or because of his tipsy state, matty isn't sure, but either way it tells him he shouldn't be so quick to refuse. so, tentatively, he continues speaking. "i'll gladly share one with you, though."

you take your time answering, slowly pulling a cig from the pack and shoving the rest back in your bag, then digging around for your lighter. matty chews his cheeks during this performance, terror that he's overstepped a friendship boundary of some sort beginning to creep up his spine. but then you shrug, and say "alright", and he's fine.

well, he's not fine, actually - the next words that leave your mouth are "need your help to light it, though, matty". 

fuck. his hands so close to your jaw, close enough that he could take hold of it and kiss you before his brain could convince him that it was too much of a risk to your friendship? that's dangerous.

god, he's so drunk. and so definitely in love with you.

what matty is first and foremost, though, is a good friend. shoving down any and all romantic and/or sexual thoughts about you and your lips as best he can (which is, admittedly, not very well), he turns to face you and takes the lighter from your hand. "c'mere then."

when you oblige, silently, and look up at him with your lips parted and those sparkly doe eyes of yours, matty bites the inside of his lip so hard he feels it bleed. christ. this was perhaps a bad idea.

but the cig is right there, waiting to be lit, so he takes a deep breath, cupping the lighter as he flicks the flame into existence and brings it to your mouth. the orange glow illuminates you quite beautifully, and suddenly matty's head is filled with thoughts of you across from him, like you are now, but sat at a candlelit, white-clothed table with a glass of wine and a fancy dinner before you. and, if he's being honest, also with thoughts of you underneath him, face blissful and softly lit by the candles dotted around the room as he fucks you slowly and tenderly.

for fuck's sake. you're his best friend. he can't be thinking of you like that. why can't he stop thinking about you like that tonight? maybe he's going insane. he has no idea. but whatever is compelling him seems to lessen as you step back and exhale the smoke. "thank you, babe."

babe? that's new. but not unwelcome, not at all. matty feels his heart flutter at the pet name.

"s'alright," he smiles. now it's his turn to hold out a hand. "shall we keep going?"

"mhmm," you quickly take another puff of the cig, before sliding it between matty's lips with a giggle and taking his hand; you have to tug him forward a few paces before he regains control of his brain, but he quickly manages it, and the walk home continues.

for the most part, it's uneventful, aside from the alien feeling of your hand constantly in matty's. that is, until he tries to be clever and inhale the cig mid-conversation, and ends up exhaling directly in your face when you turn to listen to him without him fully noticing.

you cough a little bit when the smoke hits you, and matty panics (and internally facepalms. what a fucking idiot he is) as he throws the cig on the ground and stamps it out. "shit! i'm so sorry, sweetheart, i didn't mean that! you alright?"

"s'ok, i'm ok, don't worry," you assure him, waving away both his fretting and the lingering smoke. when it clears from in front of your face, matty's heartbeat increases as he takes in your amused smile and your even-more-sparkly-than-earlier eyes. you're beautiful. you're fucking glowing. and you're tucking yourself under his arm and cosying into his side as you walk. jesus christ. "this is a lot better for us, don't you think?"

matty's cheeks lift into a smile. "definitely."

it really is better, matty thinks, walking towards the front door of your halls with you snuggled into his chest. much like every other aspect of matty's life, you fit seamlessly into his side - you just feel so right there, so natural, as if the two of you were biologically designed to be together. maybe someday, he hopes, you will be; not two best friends traipsing into uni accommodation for a post-night out sleepover, but a pair of lovers heading home after a date.

he doubts that'll actually happen, given that he'd have to go through the impossible task of telling you how he feels first, but still. it's a nice distant daydream, one he's still giddily thinking about when you unlock the front door and pull him through several more until you reach your bedroom.

you groan when you flick the light on and see the state of your bed, makeup palettes and hair products and failed outfit options strewn across it. matty immediately jumps into problem-solving mode; anything to stop you being unhappy, after all. "where do you want all this stuff, darlin'?"

"the fucking floor," you grumble.

"so… where i'm meant to sleep?"

your head snaps up, and you catch matty's eye in the mirror as you take your earrings out. "well," you turn to face him, your expression… nervous? "you could just, y'know, share the bed with me."

oh. matty can feel his heart pounding in his ears, diminishing the volume of your continuing (and frantic) monologue: "i mean, i know it'll be tight cos it's a single, and you've always insisted on sleeping on the floor even when i've offered to let you have the bed, but it's really cold tonight and i wouldn't mind the extra heat, and at least if we're sharing i know you won't be freezing and you'll be comfy, yeah?"

"ok," matty says, despite barely registering anything you said in his fugue state. he's drunk, and lovesick, but he's not an idiot. "yeah. we'll share."

your face breaks into a relieved smile. "ok. good. um, before that, would you…?"

"oh, of course," matty darts over to you as quickly as he can, while you turn to face the mirror again and lift your hair up. slowly, with fingers fumbling just as much from nerves as from alcohol consumption, he undoes the zip on the back of your dress. the perfume still lingering on the back of your neck clouds his brain with every breath he takes, and the organ threatens to completely shut down when matty pulls the zip down low enough to reveal a lack of bra clasps underneath your outfit. once he's finished undoing you, he steps back while he still has the ability to do so, turning away from you. "there you go."

"thank you," comes the reply from behind him, followed by the sounds of fabric rustling and drawers opening. matty busies himself with carefully clearing your bed, only turning back round when you tap his arm; he smiles when he sees you in a big t-shirt, hair shoved up messily and makeup half-removed, holding out a pair of sweatpants he recognises as his. "you left these here last time. i thought you might want them to sleep in. and i did wash them, before you ask."

you roll your eyes as matty presses the trousers to his nose anyway as a joke - when he registers that his clothes now smell like you and your washing powder, however, it stops being funny in favour of being lovelorn-inducing. but his smile quickly returns when he properly notices the design on the t-shirt you're wearing. "i cannot believe you're wearing a drive like i do shirt to bed. thought you were more proud of me, to be honest, darlin'."

"of course i am, but it's comfy," you protest, brow furrowing in the most adorable way as you frown. it softens wistfully as you continue. "and it reminds me of home."

weird, matty thinks. you're not from- oh. christ.

he's home, to you. 

what a fucking thought that is. matty's not quite sure how he's managing to stay sane, but he smiles, pulling you into a tight hug and stroking your back. "that's very lovely of you, sweetheart."

"s'just the truth," you reach up on tiptoe to pat matty on the head, before pulling away. he misses you immediately. "you wanna get ready for bed?"

does he ever. 

matty nods, kicking his shoes off and quickly undressing while you climb into bed. despite the fact you've seen him in shorts and nothing else before, he wonders if he should feel self-conscious as he strips to his underwear in front of you; something's definitely different with the two of you tonight, matty's sure of it, and he can't quite tell if that's a good or bad thing. probably good, although that might be wishful thinking on his part, just like the way he's convinced your eyes linger on his torso with interest in the mirror when he takes his shirt off.

anyway. clad in his sweatpants and no more, matty climbs into your single bed. he tries to get as comfy as he can, facing away from and without touching you - whether that's to ensure your space and comfort or to stop himself from agonising over how much he likes you, matty has no idea. he isn't comfortable in the slightest, but he'll endure it.

you, on the other hand, have other ideas. with a sigh of "daft boy", you move forward so your body is against matty's back, slinging an arm and leg over his front and spooning him. "is this alright? i figured it was the best way to keep us warm."

"it's perfect, sweetheart," matty replies, and he isn't lying. despite how much it hurts being so close to you and repressing how he really feels about you, matty's surprisingly chill about the way you're clinging to him. cautiously, but feeling compelled to do so, he brings his hand up to stroke your thigh; when you hum contentedly, matty rests it there. "goodnight."

"mmm, night," you yawn out, the blanket of sleep falling on you fast. "love you."

matty smiles, half sadly, half dreamily. "love you too, darlin'."

the next day, he writes a new song.

[ice-cream-writes-stuff]

Drastic.

《Clark Kent/Superman x Reader HEADCANONS》

-

"Ohoho~!" You laugh mockingly, sweet. Prideful and arrogant as you stand beside the reporter. "I'm glad to have met you, Mr. Reporter.. Maybe will see each other soon!" You chirped, soft and gentle as you wave him off, heading into the limousine.

I swear there's a fic of like Wayne!Reader out there that's shipped with Clark! I swear!

Also! I think it would be fun that the reader was the "comedic-villaness" troupe since the show is so "shoujo-esk".

I would see Wayne!Reader straight up going to Metropolis to spite Bruce or to "understand" this so called "superman"

Then meeting Clark and just dragging him to expensive places and Clark showing her the simple city life.

VERY HALLMARK LOL

-

"So 'Superman', very... Heroic." You chuckle lightly, easily walking around the roof-top as the "Super-Man" floats beside you, watching you carefully as you shrug at him.

Honestly love this idea of a Spider!Reader just being like Punk-Spider/Ghost and a hint of Miles!

Two heros forced to trust each other without realizing their identity! Miraculous anyone? Jk

Either spider!reader is from another dimension trying to get home. Or lives in the same universe. Personally, I like the first option!

I need this written! Maybe I will one day!

-

[Aight' This has been on my mind since I first posted my old fic! So yeah! Tag me if your inspired and wanna write about my ideas! Or let me know in the comments that yall need these fics! Maybe I'll write them!]

[deliciousdefendorinternet]

Trolls overall has a Big problem with the idea of Holding people accountable for their actions.

here's a numbered list of examples of what I'm talking about.

Cloud Guy in the Tv shows not only because he Harasses Branch most of the time with no consequences but also because Poppy goes out of her way to defend him even when his actions cause trouble for many other people.

like when he flooded the village just out of spite because Branch wouldn't do what he wanted anymore and not to mention how even when she found out that he also Harassed other people from each of the Troll Tribes she still took his side and got mad at them when they stood up for themselves and "" upset Cloud Guy "".

which even if it hadn't been revealed that it was all an act by him just to mess with them it would still make Poppy look bad since she Refused to do anything about his Blatant Bullying yet got mad at his victims when they stood up for themselves.

and not to mention made excuses for why his behaviour wasn't so bad making out like he only Harassed them because he was trying to help them which is just all kinds of wrong.

2. a lesser example but still a bad example imo is in the Trollstopia episode where Dante uses Branch as his muse and he stalks him breaks into his home and disrupts his daily Jobs which he does.

and when he goes to Poppy for help she makes out like Dante's behaviour is reasonable and tells Branch to suck it up.

and after Branch does something to get Dante to back off Poppy then gets mad at him when Dante isn't able to come up with any music ideas like that's somehow Branch's problem?

Dante needed help but Rather than ask for it he just went ahead and took it by invading someone's privacy.

and breaching their trust and then Poppy made out like Branch was wrong for setting down Boundaries with him which is just iffy to be honest feels like this episode was written by Joe Goldberg or something lol.

3. and there's Creek as I've said in the past I love him lol but I do agree that his Return in TBGO could have been done better where he could have had a little arc of slowly earning back people's trust maybe over the span of a few episodes.

4. some people like to go on about the Bergens being forgiven too easily and I agree to an extent but given how Gristle Jr couldn't exactly punish the majority of the population I don't think they really had much choice in this matter.

I feel the only problem is them acting all chummy with the rest of the Bergens like letting them off for killing their species is one thing but acting like friends with them is a whole other like staying friends with Bridget and Gristle is fine given their history and the fact that they were too young to have eaten any Trolls prior to the escape.

but acting friendly with the rest of them feels a tad insensitive like in the opening of TBT we see Branch and Poppy acting all chummy with Random Bergens and Branch even High fives a couple of them and I was just thinking to myself

"" dude they probably ate someone's loved ones in the past how would you feel if you saw other Trolls giving Chef a friendly High five? ""

5. anyway moving on there's Barb who enslaved countless people destroyed their homes and tried to wipe out all other kinds of music and she was let off in the end.

its not even like she had a last minute change of heart she literally just got beaten and that's the only reason why her plan didn't succeed and afterwards she was just instantly forgiven.

6. Bro zone I've already talked about them in Depth in the past but yeah unreliable selfish insensitive and at worst cruel not to mention they never truly change their ways.

they keep on doing the same crappy behaviour and they don't show that much remorse for their past actions yet they still get forgiven in the end Despite everything.

because yaaaay family is amazing even if they Treat you like shit over and over again.

the films message feels like it was written by a toxic parent to please other toxic parents to be honest which judging by how this film won over general audiences I'd say it worked like a Treat lol.

so yeah Despite my love for it Trolls overall as a franchise has a serous problem with actually Holding people accountable for their crappy actions and Behaviours I feel the only exception is Veneer as even tho his turn at the end felt Rushed and out of nowhere imo.

I was pleasantly surprised that the movie didn't just let him off the Hook and he still got arrested and accepted the punishment for his crimes in the end.

I feel the same thing should have happened with Barb given everything she did.

anyway if you've made it to the end of my post thank you you have the patience of a saint lol anyway what do you think about this aspect of the franchise?

[innitmarvellous]

Part 2 of my ace contemplations - Part 1 can be found here - or more like: more whining, haha. Sorry.

First off something more general: I'm happy about the responses I got on the original post, but I think it's a bit sad that there isn't a hashtag or something for people who want and need the support of the aspec community here on Tumblr (without having to join a special forum or sth). Because it seems that while the community is quite active, it's mostly for sharing memes and snappy textposts and stuff, and less about more helpful things and discussions. I'm not saying the memes etc are wrong and shouldn't be a part of it too, but idk, I just wish there would be more of an actual community bond, if that makes sense? To help the people who aren't yet at the stage where they can view their identity as something great, people who are still struggling and are reliant on online communities for that kind of help.

Because for all the talk about the very active Tumblr aspec community...I personally haven't seen and benefitted much of it, apart from the memes etc. And I hope I'm not the only person who don't just want to agree with meme posts and would wish for more. Or am I just unfortunate? Looking in the wrong places? (In short, where are the nice supportive ace people of Tumblr? I'm desperate here...well, kind of.)

---

Something related to the books I mentioned in the original post:

these books are all written from such an US-centric, university-educated and creative business viewpoint. And that's just not my world at all, as an mostly unemployed European with crappy education.

Like, one time it was mentioned that aces always look out for each other and how great that is. And yeah, sure. It is. It would be great, but what about the people who aren't part of that lucky network or community? People who possibly haven't met another aspec person in real life? They are missing that kind of support, and maybe it would be the one thing that would make everything easier.

---

Another thing: I found the probably supposed to be inspirational stories from other aces in the books rather disheartening. Yeah, fine, so person XY found their perfect partner by luck, despite whatever made them think it would never work out, yadda yadda. Good for them, but that's not gonna happen to me, right? I'm not gonna strike that jackpot and will find someone who accepts me as I am. Maybe I'm just a really, really spiteful person, but stories like that don't inspire me or show me what's possible for me personally in any way.

---

Well, yeah, I never encountered that. Like, truly never. That's one thing where I'm very ace: I don't get what's supposed to be sexy about a (mostly) naked body. I understand a appeal of a open top button and bit of chest being visible or something like that (lol that sounded so stupid), but the body being in full view? Nah man, put on your shirt again before you catch a cold, lol. (And it's not just guys actually, but people of all genders, if I'm honest.) I should probably add that I absolutely don't mind seeing anything like that, it just doesn't do anything for me.

---

I guess my takeaway from all the reading I did isn't like for other people who don't feel wrong or broken anymore when they find out there are other aces out there. Even after knowing a lot about it I still feel like some crucial part of me is missing, and I could be more than what I am if that were possible. But then again, there isn't really a possibility for change, so I need to do my best to accept this. I just wish I had it easy one single time...why is basically everything about me so hard to accept? lol

Idk, but if I ever manage to convince myself that inevitably dying alone one day (and spending the time until then alone too) is a good thing, then I'm sure I'll be able to do anything. Now I only need to figure out how to convince myself and that's where it gets difficult, lol.

Being both aspec and too dumb/awkward to make friends is such a curse tbh 😓 And I can't even become a crazy cat lady because I'm bad with animals too, ugh...

---

In connection with the previous bit, I'm kinda envious of that way of thinking. Would make things much easier, I assume. And it's great if it worked for her, but I on the contrary would find it quite painful if I look back at my in a sense similar life.

---

And to counter all the hopelessness a little bit - we're supposed to do that kind of thing, I guess - I tried my best to come up with some positive points, although I take them with a grain of salt myself.

- Well, it does give me an explanation for whatever is going on with me. (Although I only need that explanation for myself, since I seem to give off so much sad loser energy that no one ever bothered to ask me whether I want a boyfriend or kids. They just look at me and think "nah, that's obviously impossible for her". Which is oddly funny yet a little bit hurtful... ^^')

- I'm kind of glad that I never actually have to hug people or cuddle with them since I hate physical contact so much, lol. Doesn't matter if it's platonic or not. Remember when everyone missed being hugged during the pandemic? Couldn't be me :D

- I guess someone who is a rather bad person with way too many negative traits like me shouldn't be on the dating market anyway, so it's a plus that I'm no relationship material. Although that's more of a plus for others, not so much for me, lol. But it is a plus in the sense that everyone I would fall in love with would be unattainable for me anyway, so it's good not to be tempted in the first place.

- Idk, that's about it, I think? Maybe I forgot something, but I believe that's the gist of it. Kind of sad, but I tried, haha.

[ottiliere]

hello! ur posts on the vagus nerve and its connections to digestions have encouraged me to do a lil mini dissertation thingy kinda focused on it/around it, ur big thread on PVT and everything really piqued my interest when i read it and i just held onto it for like a year or smthing until like last week when i started the project. Ik u said recently in one of ur posts i believe that ur not going to post the big dirk PVT post and im not here to be like yo post it because i also think u said that ur kinda moving away from like hs/dirky stuff rn ?? (im forgetting if i saw that sorry) but yeah i just wanted to say thank u etc etc, like ive never done an ask before so sorry if this is phrased weirdly but ur blog is just like one of those blogs that fundamentally changed how i view certain things in life for the better lol, like whether its ur beautiful representations / depictions of mental health in like just beautifully painted art (seriously the way u make it look like idk how to word it cartoony/really 2d but then it stands out against the background + if u zoom in and see the tiny pixel details == it makes me mad) or just like the huggeee long form posts that i like to chew on and save cuz theres so many details that AFFAAT like the way you talk abt the topics u portray has made me concious of how i would want to do so in the same way ig u get me. anyway this got really long and idk if i come across coherently, but ur just a random person on the internet whos art and written thoughts that u decide to share makes me happy when i see it == makes me pace around my room and distract me from this fat essay lmao so tldr: i really appreciate what u do + i hope like that ur doing well and that u keep arting and thoughting no matter what it is that u choose to focus on

(uve made me comitted to reading jthm, playing psychonauts and giving jjba w/ dio another go lmao) 🫶🫶

Hello! I’m sorry this reply is coming so late, this ask in particular is very sweet and has stuck out to me.

I’m really happy to have introduced you to PVT, this is something I’ve heard from a few different people on here and it’s very sweet… I did my thesis on it in college and the time really flew by while working on it, things you don't think could possibly attributed to "nerve issues" being nerve issues is always an eye-opener, isn't it? being able to research things that interest you & access information in general really is a privilege in this day and age.

“The topics [I] portray” are very important to me, so it’s heartening when others take interest in spite of the obvious deterrents. A lot of what I love making art about is unpalatable to most, and while I do understand the reasons for that on principle, it can make things feel a little insular. I genuinely believe there’s a lot of value in depicting tableaus of misery.

The last year has brought a lot of very unforeseen changes, and my life is quite different from when I initially made this blog to post about him! That’s also part of why I’ve been so sparse here…though I’m working to change that quite soon. I love sharing my work, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting some truly wonderful people through this website. That said…with where I’m at now, I’m not sure I’ll be posting the Dirk essay anytime soon, I’m afraid.

I’ve undertaken a few ongoing projects, one of which in particular is an original project I plan on sharing publicly here hopefully within the next month or so. I hope it’s something you & anyone else who’s stuck around with me here will enjoy, but failing that, I’ve really enjoyed working on it thus far.

Thank you for the sweet ask, take care, and good luck with your project!

[dailydemonspotlight]

It might be cool to see dullahan for pride month. I don't think any original stories about dullahan are particularly queer but her depiction SMTIV is something I think about a lot. Taking a red pill and changing gender is definitely a more accurate interpretation of the matrix than other times people talk about the red pill at least lol

Dullahan - Day 49 (Request)

Race: Haunt

Alignment: Neutral-Neutral

June 6th, 2024

Yeah, shoutout to the random NPC in SMT IV who eats a red and instantly transes their gender. A true icon. Today's Demon of the Day is a very common fixture of medieval fantasy, however, and not just a bit of someone's true identity- the headless knight of no renown, Dullahan. Headless Horsemen are a common sight in many tales spanning Europe, the subjects of many a legend or fairy tale, but each of these halloween fables can trace their roots all the way back to Celtic myth, in the form of this unseelie fairie... or so some think. In truth, the origins of the Dullahan are unclear and murky, much like the foggy skies it mingles within, so let's dig in!

Ireland is no stranger to weird fairy tales- as the place where the term fairy originated from, Celtic myth is filled with tales upon tales of weird, loveable goons that paint stranger and stranger pictures of the times each time one thinks about them. Whether it be the oh-so-elusive Cat-Síth or the inanely wailing Banshee, Celtic folktales are filled to the brim with creatures at the forefront of each and every story... which is what makes the Dullahan so bizarre. While the concept of a headless horse-riding knight isn't too out there, especially in comparison to some other fairies (looking at you, Pooka), very few primary sources actually attest to the existence of the Dullahan, whether it be by name or concept alike.

However, in spite of this, we do have a few historical accounts- this makes the Dullahan's existence frustratingly vague, to say the least, as it's impossible to say if it did or did not exist- either possibility is plausible, especially given that artwork depicting the Dullahan does exist, dating back to the 1800's. As according to Doris V. Sutherland, the earliest reference to the Dullahan can be found in 1802, within a text written by Charles Vallancey called "Prospectus of a Dictionary of the Language of the Aire Coti, or Ancient Irish, Compared with the Language of the Cuti, or Ancient Persians, with the Hindoostanee, the Arabic, and Chaldean Languages." Kind of a mouthful. Within the book, which is a compendium of all sorts of languages and drawn comparisons between them (among all sorts of other stuff, I'm too lazy to find a free copy of it online though lol), there is a segment in which Vallancey draws a comparison between the Irish Dullahan and an Arabian demon, the Wulahan.

"The Dullahan or Wullahan is a terrible bug-bear at this day; the peasants hear him in the night dragging a heavy chain through the villages and along the roads; this is the wulahan, or Satanas of the Arabs…"

As pointed out by Sutherland, though, the brief description given of only a few passages has no mention of it being headless. So why is it commonly seen as being headless? Skip ahead a few years and we get to a book by Thomas Cofton Croker going into the fairies of Irish folklore, and stories pertaining to them. Among the many fairies listed in this book, entitled "Fairy Legends and Traditions of the South of Ireland," we get to our second mention of the Dullahan! In one of five segments, a tale is given regarding a man named Larry Dodd who gets a random hitchhiker one day atop horseback- a mysterious woman whose every feature was covered by a cloak. She climbs aboard after he offers so, and they take off.

After a few moments of silent, uncomfortable riding, the woman exits suddenly to head to a nearby church. Smitten, Larry chases after the woman to try and pursue a thank-you kiss, but when he catches up with her... shock! Horror! She has no head! So that's where the idea of the Dullahan came from as being headless- and likely why the Dullahan in SMT is so feminine in appearance as well. After witnessing a dance of the Dullahans in the dead of night, he's decapitated... only to come to a few hours later, confused from the whole sordid affair.

This tale is only one of four, however- the general idea of Dullahans and the Headless Horsemen being synonymous actually came from this same book as well. A later story is, well, quite literally the fable of the Headless Horseman! From these tales, we can glean quite a few things- almost every account of the Dullahan comes from this book, with the name being spurned from the Prospectus and its offhand mentioning of the 'Irish Dullahan' as though it were common knowledge. I'm of two minds here, personally- for one, it's entirely possible that Croker, pardon my french, just made some shit up, basing his fables on pure speculation as to what the Dullahan name could mean by connecting it to the Arabian Wulahan. However, the other possibility, one that I personally subscribe to, is that the Dullahan was a part of the tapestry of Celtic folklore- it was just obscure.

The tales presented clearly speak of the Dullahan as though it were a preexisting concept, and the offhand mention of its existence in the Prospectus seems to give light to the idea that it did, indeed, exist in the cultural consciousness to some extent. Of course, this is all purely guesswork on my end- unless Croker digs himself out of his grave to answer my burning questions, I doubt I'll find an exact answer to this line of thinking- but I think it makes the most sense given what little information we have to work off of.

Now, in terms of representation in SMT... It sure is a headless knight. One aspect I really adore in this design, though, has to be the way the top of the head appears- the implication of the Dullahan being able to freely attach and detach its head like the joints on a Bionicle is hilarious, and gives a whole new line of depth to this already cool looking design. The silver, deep purple, and gold all combine to make the knight look regal, as though it was a stalwart protector of a kingdom under the king's right hand that had now fallen into disrepair. Somewhat fitting, given that it appears most prominently in SMT IV as a boss!

Lastly, though, I've gotta say I'm so glad we're almost to 50 posts. I didn't expect this series to last this long, and we've got a big, big one coming up for post 50, so I hope you're all excited! Happy Pride Month, and I need to say thanks for sticking with me, all this time.

[flightyalrighty]

Hello! I've just found this comic and I'm really interested by it! It seems like it's gonna get very dark very fast haha

But yeah I was just curious regarding something. As based on a quick look, I assume Sonic's gonna be infected at some point lol (hopefully with a chance to survive or something ^^;) But I was also just wondering if we can expect any other main game characters to be infected (or even killed) in this story? There's a couple I'm REALLY hoping don't die but I ain't gonna say in case you do decide to kill them off XDDD

But yeah, I'm very much enjoying this so far and I'm very interested to see what you have planned : )

Happy that you're enjoying the story!

And yes, as a matter of fact, there will be a major character death in this story! You can check that out, along with other warnings on my Content Warnings page right here!

No decisions are needed to be made at this point, mind you! Everything's already written and done! It's just a matter of scripting it and making the pages, themselves! So unfortunately, if someone you like dies or gets a bug in em, I'm so sorry, and I swear it was not to spite you!

[zukkaoru]

nikolai and teruko for the hc ask game..?

nikolai

Sexuality Headcanon: i don't think he labels his sexuality bc he doesn't seem like the sort to like labels sfdgfhk the hc i have written down for him in my doc is "silly & fruity" which. is probably about what his answer would be if you asked him his sexuality

Gender Headcanon: same as above; i don't think he labels it beyond "not cis" + along with that, any pronouns nikolai is something that has been rotating in my mind recently

A ship I have with said character: (fyo)nikonathan. thanks to nikonathan ceo louie <3

A BROTP I have with said character: i mean. nikolai and kenji. i did write 22k words about them. also nikolai & sigma! and nikolai & dazai can be so fun as well (emergency number laizai is sooo wonderful omg i love them)

A NOTP I have with said character: i don't think i have any? at least not any that are popular ships lol

A random headcanon: he likes embroidery,, i don't have any real reason for this; it just showed up in my nikolai & kenji fic and i was like. yeah. so true op

General Opinion over said character: he is SO fascinating. i want to study him like a bug i want to dissect his brain i want to put him in a jar and shake him around i want to peel back all of his layers like an onion until his raw core is on display and i want to poke it until he breaks

teruko

Sexuality Headcanon: bi maybe? alloaro perhaps? but probably actually it's "i'm too busy with my job to think about that rn" <- has been saying that for 30+ years

Gender Headcanon: i don't really have one for her

A ship I have with said character: also don't really have any ships for her,, i think she probably had some feelings for fukuchi but i don't Ship them

A BROTP I have with said character: all of the hunting dogs but especially tachihara!! also i think about teruko & sigma in last train home a lot. ALSO also i think she and elise should meet. i want to lock them in a room together just to see what happens

A NOTP I have with said character: all of them? idk like i said i don't really ship her with anyone but also i've only seen maybe one teruko ship so there aren't any popular ones that i actively dislike either

A random headcanon: she gives surprisingly good and wise advice, but only to people she cares about. tachihara is the most frequent recipient of it, but tecchou and jouno and even fukuchi have all found themselves looking to her for help when they need it. however, she usually has to (lovingly) bully them before she says anything helpful

General Opinion over said character: she's a queen. an icon. she probably gets unfounded hate bc she's a female character which means i have to love her even more out of spite. "annoying" female characters i still love you even when the fandom doesn't <333

[ghostlycoze]

Hello. What do you think about Sohone from Guardian of the Moon?

Woah, didn't think people were very interested in Mune, but I'll take any excuse to ramble about this silly comfort movie!

Sohone's an interesting character; as a kid I used to hate him because he was written in a way that was kind of meant to be unlikeable at first. Egotistical from the get-go and quite objectifying to Glim, and also pretty against the night people (and sort of the dawn/dusk folk too). He wanted to be the guardian of the sun not purely to maintain the balance, but to impress women, stroke his ego, and throw a harpoon... Yeah, recipe for a not-cool-guy. I held a good grudge as a kid, even after he has a lot of character growth and such, I still thought he was a prick lol. But I took these asks as an excuse to rewatch the movie and I honestly like his character a lot more now that I can properly analyse him.

He almost has a corruption arc and loses himself to that spite, but once he snaps out of it (thanks for the sacrifice, Phospho), he has a lot of development during the final battle and the following scenes with Glim's not-death. One of the last lines where he says "You really are the most powerful guardian of all time." to Mune is the most notable moment, instead of trying to take all the credit or at least keep them on equal footing for his pride. It's nice to see, and I noticed a smaller detail during the scene where he rechains the sun to the temple; or rather, a lack of a detail. Up until then, every time he did something remarkable (outside of the underworld), it would cut to his fans cheering for him, another chance or Sohone to brag. But in that scene it instead cuts to the wider world being bathed in sunlight, like his objectives have changed to actually restoring balance rather than just gaining attention. I dunno, that's how I read it anyways! He's a simple character, as you'd expect from a kids movie. He fits the trope of "egotistical brawn", but I still like the changes he has throughout the story.

I've rambled way too much but still, even if he isn't a favourite character of mine or anything, I appreciate the character arc he gets and the role he plays in the story.

Also bonus points for his funky design; he kinda looks like a planet, and the cat-like nose and... Hair? Fur? It's a cool look, especially during the corruption scene.

Thanks for the excuse to talk about this cute lil movie! I'm curious to what others think about this movie, the characters, the story, all of it. Feel free to send more asks or reblog/comment your own thoughts :D

[evilwriter37]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by: @lifblogs

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

1,129

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

3,094,165

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly How to Train Your Dragon/DreamWorks Dragons. Been diving into The Elder Scrolls lately, and I've written for Good Omens and Teen Wolf, among others.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Infernal Fascination

Not So Stoic

Didn't Have to Think

Sunglasses

Ball, Chain, and Dagur

Okay, I'm super surprised by Didn't Have to Think and Ball, Chain, and Dagur being there. Didn't Have to Think is a one-shot about Hiccup taking an arrow for Tuffnut. (He lives). And Ball, Chain, and Dagur is abandoned. It even says so in the official ao3 title, but I get new kudos on it a lot. Wow.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try my best to! Sometimes they pile up and I get overwhelmed by them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to go with my more recent fics. No Dragon Rider Left Behind. For sure. Like, Ruffnut just had a forced miscarriage, and the Riders are feeling hopeless and like their lives have been ruined.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sounds weird because of all the torture and war and shit that happens in it, but Infernal Fascination. The last line literally is: "and he was happy." Like, if that doesn't make you cry, I don't know what will.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Lol, yes. If you don't like me, block and mute. No need to leave hate comments. (Also, no, they will not deter me. I will just write more out of spite.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Y'all know the answer to this one. I will write most kinds of smut, so m/f, f/f, m/m, multi... Yeah. It also involves a lot of kink.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope. But hm... Hijack/Frostcup looks tempting sometimes.

11. Which fic are you proud of but wish had gotten a bigger response from your readers?

I don't know if I have one. Or, if I do, I can't remember what it was.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I've had some translated into Russian and Chinese!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

@mdoodlerfandomart and I have co-written fics in a way where one starts the story and the other finishes it. It's very fun to do.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Viggo/Hiccup. I just... I can't, guys. Them.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh god, I don't want to say An Heir and a Throne, because I really love the concept of it, but I might abandon it...

16. What are your writing strengths?

Conveying emotion, I think. I'm very good at that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting. Like, help. What is this?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

Sounds tough.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

To quote my sister on this: "The Lord of the Rings. I was 8."

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I... don't know at this point. There are just so many!

Open tag to anyone who wants to do it!

[i-sveikata]

OMG!!!!! I knew it! The peace and quiet wouldn't last forever.

GOD. This chapter was so cute! Such a domestic feeling! They had at least a few days to settle, talk and everything ❤️❤️😩

I'm so happy for them! Finally figuring things out together!! And I noticed a little shift at the end!! Pete is finally seeing that he might be madly in love lol 😂

I love love these old women. All the boys in this universe are lacking a mother-like touch in their lives. I'm so happy for Macau being smothered with love and attention. I was afraid of this serious talk with grandma, but she still nailed it 😭

Everything was so well written. I really felt those few days passing by with natural haste.

At the end of chapter my heart already sped up with Pete's lol. No more laying around. Some action again!

I'm so curious where they will go now. Going back to Bangkok wouldn't be that bad though.

Anyway, I'm already so so excited for more! This is like an addiction 😁 Thank you so much for this!! This chapter was MASSIVE! I'm sure I will be coming back for some domestic moments.

Also-

Mafia boyfriend's incoming!!!!

(Are the Russians going to happen in the next chapter or one after?)

yeah 😔 no peace and quiet for them.

they are really settling into their relationship now and getting even more comfortable with each other!!! and its super domestic and they are definitely making great steps! absolutely acting like a couple without even admitting to being in a relationship lol.

yeah his grandmother really helped forced pete's perspective here because she knows him so well and can see exactly what hes doing/ what hes being in denial of. so its definitely cracked a door for pete to better view his feelings in a way.

yes they truly are!!! which is why it seemed so obvious that macau was literally thriving in the new environment lmao theyre absolutely missing more feminine energy in their lives for sure. yes very serious talk with grandma- she exposed them so quickly hahahahahahha but im glad you like how the dust settled.

thanks so much!! yeah couldnt avoid the action forever!!! oooh mafia boyfriends definitely incoming. yes ive set it up for the russians to be the next chap- mr korn forced their timeline to move ahead on that account- but yes ive already laid the groundwork for the return to bangkok (to sort out the solicitor) and the potential spot for these negotiations to take place (vegas' mention of all of their hotels- still deciding whether they will keep things in bangkok or stay out of mr korns way for a while as they iron out the deal with the russians)

but the deal with the russians is definitely tied in with vegas' foot in mouth moment about pete bottoming and petes storming off to go a sleep with someone else out of spite (before he admits to the fact that he only wants vegas and they finally get their heads out of the asses and make it official- and by then vegas will be at least a little better healed for them to start having a lot more sex lol) so its very likely all of this is going down in the next chap :)

[nostalgia-tblr]

Okay actually I do have a proper thought on the "sylki is incest" wank. which is that the "anti" take seems to be that Loki/Sylvie is obviously, glaringly, an incestuous pairing but its shippers deliberately ignore that because they like the pairing otherwise (yet also the accusation involves them liking the incest element... honestly it's a bit of a muddle, but let's move on). But. Well, here's the thing that is obvious, at least to me...

Go to AO3 and have a look to find the most popular (in terms of number of works) Loki pairing in the Marvel Cinematic Universe fandom as a whole. Actually, i'll save you the effort:

(These numbers are slightly out-of-date but the ratios remain accurate. I checked.)

Now, that. That is an incest pairing, isn't it? There is some fic which specifies an AU of some sort in which Thor and Loki are not related to each other but most of it is about brothers who are also lovers.

"But they're not really related," you say? Sorry, but in the important ways, they are. Every one of those films, and the Loki series, frames them as siblings-with-issues, and yes one of those issues is whether or not they agree that they are siblings, but I'd say the MCU comes down pretty firmly on the side of "they totally are."

And the point I'm making here is that the actual incest pairing is treated as such by its fans. If you don't feel up to reading any thorki fic I'll save you again and say that it overall leans into the "forbidden love" angle, and the shame and internal conflict of an incestuous attraction or relationship. So shippers of a given pairing do indeed know what incest is and they rarely try to avoid that aspect of such pairings.

Whereas. If you read the Loki/Sylvie stuff, that whole "thorki vibe" is entirely absent. Fans vary on variants, in terms of in what ways these two are or are not "the same person" but they agree on one thing: fucking some other version of yourself is not incest. This is pretty much a unanimous belief, and here I'll mention something else I think is relevant: there are a few sylki twincest AUs (many of which seem to have been written out of spite - LOL, fandom!) and in all of those the AU also features another crucial change - they are not both Loki variants in those fics.

Yeah, that's right! To make Loki and Sylvie siblings you have to remove the selfcest element entirely. Because - this may shock some of you, so sit down before you read this next part - you are not your own sibling. Even identical twins are obviously different people. A clone of yourself might get us into more philosophical territory but that's not what multiversal variants are either. Allow me to illustrate with another informative image:

You get me? Yeah, you get me.

So, to meander towards an actual conclusion here. The MCU!Loki fandom does not, in general, refuse to accept that romantic/sexual pairings that would be incestuous actually are incestuous. In fact if anything it embraces that element of such pairings. It is usually seen as the defining feature of them. If they think siblings are fucking then they will write about those siblings fucking, and they will not be shy about it!

And aside from that mentioned handful of AU fics, sylki is not written as incest. Because it just isn't incest. Look, if you personally see Loki and Sylvie as siblings to the point where the pairing squicks you out, then fair enough there's not much either of us can do about that. Do your best to avoid that content and don't be a wanker about it and I wish you well in your endeavours. But that isn't what most of the complaints stem from, is it? As usual in recent years fans who didn't like a pairing (which, btw, is allowed) wanted to have the moral high ground and some bright spark hit upon "this pairing is INCEST" via some slightly odd logic and it spread from there. Because we can't just not like something, can we? (Actually, that's also allowed!) No, we have to be better than those fans over there, who are all terrible people in some way. They are problematic.

And this is a lot of words for me to essentially say "no, the sylki fic and the thorki fic have very different vibes actually" but... well, they do. The sylki shippers are not denying the incest, because there is no incest there, and even if we for a moment pretend that "siblings" is a reasonable and indeed expected interpretation of the variants concept, it is clear from their content that the people who ship Loki/Sylvie do not see them that way. And that has nothing to do with DNA or otherwise, which I can prove with this very quick question: in one word (or less, if you can), what is the relationship between Loki and Thor?

You said "brothers" or "siblings," didn't you? No, you did. I know for a fact that you did, don't play coy with me on this. We all understand that these two characters who definitely share no DNA are, in every way that matters, brothers. This is not a difficult concept, it's not somehow confusing large numbers of fans either way.

tl;dr - Sylki isn't incest but if it was we'd all know that because the fans of it would not be constantly denying what would, almost certainly, be the main appeal of that pairing for them if that was the case. You can deny that all you want but 11,731 thorki fics (as of 10th December 2023) back me up on this one.

So there.

[prettybbychim]

there’s this thing i’ve noticed on ao3 since i’ve started posting stuff again. like i post a chapter, it’s been about a month since then, someone comments smth like “hey was wondering if ur gonna update or if you’ve abandoned it”

my guy it’s been a Month

it takes me a month to get about 10k out (which seems to be my average word count for my chapters) if and only if i’m writing everyday and im running into minimal issues

this fic in particular i have this written in like 2 places

ironically enough, this is a revamp of an actual abandoned work lol

it’s just strange to me because it hasn’t been long at all. i know there’s some popular authors that can churn stuff out on the daily or have a regular schedule and that’s good for them. they probably have a backlog of content, it’s probably all finished or nearing it and they’re posting in stages. or they’re a speed demon and have abilities us mortals cannot comprehend

i’m too impatient to do that stuff lol if i have a good thing going, i wanna share and yeah, sometimes updates are few and far between but that’s just how i roll lol might be bad for the numbers or whatever but im trying really hard not to give a shit about that lol

i’m not angry i wanna make that clear, i’m just perplexed lol (a little frustrated) like i’d expect this kind of question after a year or smth, but a month?

honey pls i don’t even work rn i’m at home near 24/7 dealing w health issues and i can write all fucking day long if i so pleased and im still not going to get stuff done in under a month for a large variety of reasons (editing, sending it to my beta, reworking scenes, rearranging scenes, first draft and the many between the final draft, just to name a few), pair that with my adhd and frequent flitting between whatever topic is the shiniest to me at the moment. i have 7 fics im actively working on. nothings really getting done but stuff is progressing at a relatively slow rate because of it

and sometimes you just need a break. like a real break. shutting my brain off for a good week or so

i’m aware that my readers don’t know this and they can’t know this unless they follow me on here and i happen to be talking about it lol

but still, a month? have you abandoned it?

honey pls i just started it! it’s been a month. give a guy some slack here. we’re human and busy and stressed and first and formost, we’re doing this for fun

fortunately, in my case, these comments don’t upset me. rather, they make me want to write that fic out of spite like fuck u it’s not abandoned look at me making so much goddamn progress on it

most people are not like me. they will get discouraged. i can’t keep up, is it even worth trying when im disappointing my readers over and over again?

then that fic u like so much might actually become abandoned.

this is not encouragement. even for me who might be spurred into writing that one work, it’s not positive encouragement.

i’m so so happy you like my work enough to inquire about it, but this is not the compliment you think it is.

[katyspersonal]

To be honest, figuring out that Maria is a bifauxnen archetype (or rather, remembering about it 3 years later after too-western-leaning discussions lol) felt soft of a relief? Keeping that in mind could have saved a lot of debates, and I do think that this take should be apparent since Bloodborne is a Japanese media! Can't analyze oversees media without applying oversees tropes and culture! So, her masculine aesthetic is not up to being questioned or written as practicality!

That one elusive bit that doesn't fall so apparent is the motivation. The thing about bifauxnen trope is that it is not consistent! There is execution where the masculinity is supposed to be rather involuntary, forced by another person or circumstances, and the character, in fact, struggles to reclaim her femininity after being led "astray" by some unfortunate events (like Lady Oscar). Then there are more blatant examples that are exactly what you want and expect from the trope, where femininity IS uncomfortable (like Utena)! I also talked with my friend who is familiar with far more Japanese media than I am, and according to her, Utena actually is a subversion of the trope, whereas "this lady had her natural femininity shunned by person or circumstances" is more common + that's the reason my friend DISlikes the trope. Can't attest to that statistic unless I play/watch everything she did, just something to notice 🤔

So yeah, that's the CORRECT interpretation branch I think! I wrote a separate analysis post on Cainhurst antics but the gist of it was, for a Vileblood woman it'd be a shame to not indulge in the bloody magic and antics as that's their 'natural' streak, so with this trope there would be skewing influence. Or other examples of the trope like "wanted son" or "she takes place of sickly/absent noble brother" that could play out. ...Or none could be the reasoning besides her preference, maybe even in spite of others (again, the 'blunt' variant of the trope does exist!)

There are various factors to decide from! I don't know, I just.. having the [HUMANITY RESTORED] moment over external validation for different interpretations, even though it should be a common sense. But also that there is something UNdebatable. I don't take "historical gender roles" flex for the setting where female doctors, scholars, hunters and vicars exist in 19th century of course, but I can't argue with "Japanese developers did a Japanese trope" pointer, and it just feels better to have more clarity, you know?

[space-blue]

Quaritch and recom Quaritch are not the same characters. I mean second is a clone with implanted memories so why always I read about this character all people write like both are the same? Recom Quaritch feels and acts because of memories from human Quaritch. For me it's weird because I hated a lot original Quaritch but when I watched Avatar 2 I was like nooo way I like his clone?. haha Just to add other point of view. Greetings, thank you!

Dear anon,

I'd like to preface this reply by saying I don't know how the fandom depicts him, really. I discuss him with friends in the recom-centric server, and I read their snippets and some of their fics, but I'm one of those writers who avoids reading the characters they write.

My brain is aggressively pantser oriented. If I read a story, if I even imagine it in full, then "it is told" and I lose interest in writing it. "Two cakes" only exists as a reader for me. I can't write the second take on a concept I've read. It feels like a chore. I also dislike reading a really smart idea about the character because I might feel like I can't implement it.

I like to give myself time to come up with my own strong vision of a character before I start reading them written by others. If I pick up a fic with them it'll usually be with a concept/style I'd never go for (that includes smut).

So yeah, I don't know how "the fandom" portrays him. I'll give you my two cents though, for free :

Quaritch and Recom Quaritch ARE the same person. By design. They share the same memories. I am totally writing a fic in which the memories are edited, but that's not hinted at in canon.

A clone with memories is meant to be the same, on day 1. He is designed to be the same. He's made in universe by the RDA to be the same, and by the Avatar team to be the same.

What makes recom Q interesting is that he starts diverging from that day 1 onward. Every experience he has is filtered through the qualia of a fundamentally alien body. Taste, smell, vision, hearing, touch, experience of pain, not to mention the sensory blast of having new limbs and organs!

And then new experiences a smart recom can't miss : potential discrimination, bottom of the company totem pole (a loss of privilege a white man with titles like Quaritch must feel keenly), the way they're turned into disposable guinea pigs from the 1st mission, the impossibility of going back home, the fact they're basically slaves, company owned bodies and endlessly duplicable minds...

They get time to think on all that. Does it affect them? Do they double down on their mission out of spite? Hope for a better future? A shot at freedom? Are they brain-dead killers looking to shoot things no matter what body they're in? (Looking at you Lyle..)

That's where the tasty lives. In that dichotomy between a human mind that makes them the same, and an alien body that makes them different. That's why recoms, Q and others, are so compelling. There's a ton of room for emotional angst, and a lot of directions to take character growth in as we patiently await.

I feel like different writers will make him go places at different paces, and that's fine. He hasn't changed that much over the course of the film. We don't know Avatar 1's Quaritch that well, so how much atwow changes Recom Q is really up to interpretation.

But I feel like this is just arguing on philosophy.

You, as an individual, are in constant flux, but you are also informed by your past. Do you believe in determinism? In fate? In Free Will? Because there's a whole branch of philosophy/neurology that makes a VERY compelling argument that we don't have free will. It doesn't help that science has proven that our brain often sends signals before we've made a conscious decision to act.

It's still a very hot topic, as we don't know where consciousness resides/how it works (the philosophy of mind teacher in Adelaide uni opened his class by saying if we were smart about it there was a nobel prize to be won lol)

What's compelling about Recoms is that even if you believe in the absence of free will you have to admit that the change in qualia by definition alters their character and takes them down new roads. But it's fine to me if writers think the mind inside the recom is still human and struggles to remain true to itself for a long time.

A Quaritch desperate for change is as tasty as a Quaritch who struggles to hang on to his past as a raison d'être.

He's a babygirl because he's cursed. He carries the "sins of the father" in the most literal manner possible. Not only in universe but IN FANDOM. People actively blame Recom Quaritch for what Human Quaritch did in A1, not realising they are not the same person, even if Recom Quaritch still feels like they are and can replay the whole scene in his mind.

It's FUCKED and I'm soooo here for it!

It's also why it's so different with recom Q. He's not the same visually, and he's got so many new layers added by his situation that you're face first in a blue cake.