#yeesh. where did this come from

[hungharrington]

I just can’t stop thinking about stevie’s huge hands, huge fingers…so fucking HOT

me too bestie…. me too 😳 mdni this entire blog is 18+

Faintly, you wonder how you’re supposed to go any further than this. You want to— god, even just eyeing the obvious strain in his pants which hides his leaking cock from you makes you keen for it.

You’re not ashamed to admit that the thought of Steve Harrington’s cock has been the star of several late-night fantasies. And you’re very close to making those fantasies a reality.

But it’s just, well…

“Fuck, listen to you…” Steve pants in your ear. “All this just from my fingers, baby?”

You whine loudly. Steve’s cocky tone makes a fair point even if he’s saying it just to make you squirm; you can feel the stretch it takes just to take his fingers. His long, slender fingers that rut into you, curling sinfully well. You’re gushing around his digits, your own hands clutching his shoulders as your forehead presses to his collarbone.

“I— ngh- shit, Steve. Fuck, that feels good, your fingers feel so good, so good,” It all feels like it comes pouring out of your mouth without your control, moans wrapped around every word.

“I know, baby,” He coos. His other hand sweeps over the back of your head sweetly, pushing back stray hairs. He nudges you up with his shoulder, hand on the back of your neck, and tries to meet your eye.

“Feels so good, doesn’t it?”

The squelch as his fingers fuck into you, fast and deep, is answer enough— but you open your mouth to answer anyway, knowing he loves your words.

Any semblance of a sentence is swallowed up. Steve’s hand slows for a moment, twisting so he can thumb at your clit before he continues, both motions in tandem. You cry out, eyes screwed closed, hips shoving forward. You want more. You’re not sure you can handle more.

Eyes struggling to stay open, you catch the flash of Steve’s pleased grin— fixed on your lust-filled expression before he focuses back between your thighs.

“Such a pretty pussy,” He murmurs, brushing a quick kiss to your forehead. You whimper, heat drawing up in your tummy. “Why don’t you cum on my fingers, mm?”

You’re panting now, clawing closer as Steve’s name leaves your lips in a string of whines and moans. Steve drinks it all in, his hand deserting the back of your neck to pinch at your nipple.

“C’mon sweetheart,” He says, cockily and sweet all in one. “Cum f’me and the we’ll see how well you take my cock, yeah?”

[cieloclercs]

congrats on your 1K you deserve it‼️‼️

when you have the time could you write for lewis hamilton + nepo!reader ( male or female ) who is an actress / actor?

king of my heart — lewis hamilton

pairing. lewis hamilton x nepo baby!actress!reader

genre. social media au

face claim. gigi hadid

warnings. mentions of age gap, swearing, some online hate, lewis and reader are literally the hottest couple ever, daniel lowkey trolling lando, sex jokes ??, mixed up met gala years sorryyyy, some inaccuracies with race outcomes shshsh

author’s note. hello anon! thank you for being my first request for my 1k event 🥰 i wasn’t sure if you wanted an imagine style thing or not so i’ve gone for a social media au. hope that’s ok ! if not just let me know and i can redo this for you <3

liked by kaiagerber and 4,739,725 others

yourusername when he takes you on a romantic getaway to a private beach island after being away for a month 🥹🥹 lewishamilton i love u bby 💕

view all comments…

lewishamilton Only the best for my Queen 🤍

yourusername 😘😘

username stopppp they’re so adorable 😭😭

username WHEN IS IT MY TURN

danielricciardo get yourself a man who’ll spoil you even though you literally have a higher net worth than him 🤩🤩🤩

yourusername i highly recommend it x

username danielricciardo you looking for a sugar daddy? 👀

danielricciardo why you offering? 😏

username DANNY WTF 😭

landonorris me and who? 👀

danielricciardo your right hand

landonorris wow

username what is in the air in australia today 😭

username sis is winning at life 😔

username wdym lewis is the one who should count himself lucky 🤷‍♀️

username bc his girlfriend’s a nepo baby who’s never worked a day in her life? don’t think so but ok 😂😂

username WOAH WOAH WOAH

username you come for y/n you’ll have to get through ME FIRST BITCH 🔪🔪🔪

username girlie woke up and chose violence yeesh

username you did not just claim an OSCAR WINNING ACTRESS have never worked a day in her life oh my god 😭

*lewishamilton liked this comment

username embarrassing 😳

*lewishamilton liked this comment

username lewis out here defending y/n from the haters 🥹 where can i find a man like that??

zendaya the cutest couple 😍

yourusername thank you my love 😘

tomholland2013 ?? 🤨

yourusername 😐🖕

username team y/ndaya button >>>

*zendaya, yourusername and 5,736 others liked this comment

lilymhe oooh la laaa 😍😍

yourusername my girl 😚

username imagine being able to say you’re dating THE y/n y/l/n i’d never fucking shut up about it

username it’s a good job lewis doesn’t shut up about it then 😭

liked by yourusername and 59,136 others

themetgalaofficial This year’s hottest couple, award-winning actress Y/N Y/L/N and seven-time Formula 1 World Champion, Sir Lewis Hamilton, grace the Met Gala red carpet 🤍

username she’s everything. he’s just ken.

username you did not just call LEWIS HAMILTON ‘just ken’ 😭

username she doesn’t deserve him 🤢🤢

username seriously what does he see in her?? she’s completely talentless. the only reason she’s managed to land ANY acting job is because of her father. she’s a fucking fraud. 🙄

username no need for the negativity honey, lewis still isn’t going to fuck you x

*yourusername liked this comment

username SHE DID NOT 😭😭 WHAT AN ICON

username omg y/n looks like a goddess 😍 and lewis is there too i guess…

username fucking nepo baby. fuck off and blow daddy’s money somewhere else u whore 🖕🖕

username i smell jealousy…

username 😂😂 what’s there to be jealous of?

username maybe the fact that y/n is a thousand times richer and more successful than you will ever be OF HER OWN MERIT…oh and the fact she’s fucking lewis hamilton every night, which you so clearly want to do from the BLATANT jealousy your comments reek of 😘

username ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS

username ma’am, you dropped this 👑

username SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 🎤🎤

username oh, y/n’s stylist has outdone herself with this one 🤩

username MOM AND DAD

username they’re so 😩😩😩

username i want them both so bad 🫠

username who’s the arm candy in this relationship? 🤔

username i’d say y/n because she’s prettiest…but lewis. it’s definitely lewis.

*yourusername liked this comment

username somehow i just know she walks him like a DOG

yourusername thank you for having us ☺️🤍

themetgalaofficial It’s our pleasure 🤩

username yourusername HEY QUEEN

username even the met gala is an y/n fan

*themetgalaofficial liked this comment

liked by yourusername and 7,241,936 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton The happiest 4 years with my Queen 🤍 Here’s to forever x

view all comments…

yourusername the last picture was uncalled for 🥲

yourusername but i love you with everything that i have to give, my champion ❤️

lewishamilton I’m the luckiest man on earth to call you mine 😘

landonorris this is the sappiest shit i’ve ever read.

yourusername stay salty, lando 😚

danielricciardo landonorris it’s ok, mate, we know you’re doomed to be single for life. here if you ever want to talk x

yourusername danny 😭

landonorris ouch.

username SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP WHEN IS IT MY TURN

username they’re so in love it makes my heart hurt

username the third picture is proof Y/N WALKS HIM LIKE FUCKING ROSCOE 😭😭

username ok but WHENS THE PROPOSAL COMING???

username lewishamilton WHEN??

mercedesamgf1 Happy anniversary to our golden couple 🤩

yourusername thank you admin! 🤍 can’t wait to see you in singapore x

mercedesamgf1 We’re looking forward to it 🫶

username i still don’t like y/n but…this is kind of cute

username now that’s character development 👏

username glad you’ve finally realised !!

zendaya happy anniversary, my loves 😍

yourusername thank you sweetie 😘 come visit soon !

sebastianvettel Happy anniversary! 🤍

lewishamilton ❤️

username omg seb interacting on instagram? what is this parallel universe 🫨

username yourusername lewishamilton YOU GUYS LOOKING FOR A DOG BC I CAN BARK

username girl wtf 😭

username when they have kids they’re gonna be the ultimate milf and dilf 🤩

username STOP i need dilf lewis rn 😭

username MY FAVOURITE COUPLE I LOVE YOUUUU 💕

username it literally feels like yesterday that they first got together 😭

username i knowwww how has it been four years already?

username i want what they have 🥹🫶

liked by lewishamilton and 10,256,947 others

tagged: lewishamilton

yourusername king of my heart 👑

…

lewishamilton 🤍🤍

comments on this post have been limited.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

can u guess which gif will be at the end of this. can you guess. i'll bet at least a few of you can guess XD

Charlie: "New plan- group bonding through shared, SAFE, suffering!"

Alastor: “Oh joy~”

Husk: "Not this fucking shit again."

Angel Dust: "Well hey as long as it's consensual sufferin'~"

Niffty: (lifts arms at vaggie) "YEEET ME!!!"

Vaggie: "Ughh... no."

Niffty: "Aww."

Vaggie: "I'm never living that one down am I?"

Charlie: "Vaggie, you don't need to live anything down EVER-"

Alastor: "Cough cough! Lied to her girlfriend for three years, cough cough!"

Angel Dust: "Dude you're not supposed t' SAY cough."

Husk: “That’s the part you’re fucking annoyed at?”

Charlie: "-and the POINT is, your whole idea about going through hell to trust the people who go through it with you? Not entirely on the wrong track!"

Vaggie: "Yaaay."

Husk: "You fucked up but for the right un-shitty reasons."

Vaggie: "Great. Thanks."

Charlie: "SO! We're all gonna share the worst work day of our lives with each other!"

Niffty: "Share?" (excited) "By INFLICTING them on each other!?"

Charlie: "Talking, Niffty. We're going to, talk about them."

Niffty: "Aww...."

Husk: "Is there a time limit."

Angel Dust: "Is there a rating limit?"

Alastor: (thoughtful) "Does it still count as a terrible work day if I was able to murder them at the end of it?"

Charlie: "Uhhhh-"

Vaggie: "How 'bout we stick to how it made us feel, rather than all the... X rated... gory details?"

Niffty: (sighs) (slumps over) "This is my worst most terrible work day ever.."

Charlie: "And how do you FEEL about it?"

Niffty: "Sad..."

Vaggie: "I'll let you use my spear for roach hunting after this."

Niffty: (bouncing up) "OH THE EMOTIONS! WHATEVER ONES YOU WANT FROM ME I DON'T CARE, I HAVE THEM!!!"

Husk: "What the fuck."

Angel Dust: "Yeesh."

Charlie: "Okay that's, that's enough sharing from you. Good, um, good job!"

Niffty: "Spear spear spear-"

Charlie: "Well MY worst work day was definitely the one where we were besieged by an army of murderous angels heaven-bent on the full scale slaughter of most of my family! And they actually did kill one! Yeah- that." (laughs) "That fucking sucked and I hated it!"

Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty: (GASP)

Charlie: "What? What??"

Angel Dust: "You said the "H" word, toots.."

Vaggie: "She said a lot more than that while writing an angry text to heaven afterwards."

Charlie: "Hey! You checked the text for me- you know I was polite!"

Vaggie: "Charlie, it was the most aggressively polite 'fuck off' anyone's ever written in the history of all creation. I’m so proud of you for it."

Charlie: "Heh."

Alastor: “Cough get a room please cough.”

Angel Dust: “’m TELLING YOU that’s NOT how it’s supposed ‘t WORK you're not supposed t' SAY IT-”

Charlie: "Ah-hem. Um. Husk? Worst work day-?"

Husk: "Still living it."

Hotel Crew: "....."

Husk: "...but you stupid fuckers are keeping me company through it, so, fucking thanks I guess."

Charlie: (tearful) "Oh Husk. That's so..."

Angel Dust: "Love you too, Mr. Whiskers~"

Husk: "Shut the fuck up."

Vaggie: "Hey."

Husk: "Him, not her. The day your “her” shuts the fuck up is the day we all know we're fucked."

Charlie: "Gosh I hope not." (wipes eyes) "Angel Dust? You wanna...?"

Angel Dust: "My worst shitty day was also my BEST day."

Charlie: (bracing herself) "O...kay...?"

Angel Dust: "A friend came to work an' almost killed the boss for me. Can ya believe that? An' the only reason she didn't open him up a few new 'fun' an' 'interestin' holes of his own was 'cause I had to stop her."

Vaggie: "HELL YEAH!"

Charlie: "You mean-"

Angel Dust: "Yeah. Thanks, apple cheeks. I spent good crack money commissionin' fanart of you wrecking his shit."

Charlie: "WHAT!?"

Vaggie: "You have GOT to let me see that."

Charlie: "VAGGIE!"

Vaggie: "Oh come on, it's better than him buying crack, right?"

Angel Dust: "It def looks waaay better on my wall."

Charlie: "I- that's not-"

Niffty: "Is there BLOOD?"

Charlie: "Oh please don't let there be any-"

Angel Dust: "SO much blood, baby."

Charlie: "Noooo...!"

Vaggie: "Now I really need to see it."

Charlie: "H-WHA?"

Husk: "I really need a fucking drink."

Charlie: "I'm- you know what? I'm pretending I didn't hear any of that. La la la! I have complete deniability!"

Alastor: "That's the spirit! You hardly knew him, certainly never fantasized about decorating him with his own entrails! Just keep reminding yourself of that while hiding the body~!"

Charlie: "NO! Just.... well maybe for him..."

Vaggie: "You're so pretty."

Charlie: (pouting) "We need to commission a piece of you standing over Lute with your spear at her throat. It's not FAIR otherwise."

Vaggie: "Anything for you, babe."

Alastor: "How saccharine. Young love hand in hand, spattered in blood."

Charlie: "A-anyway. Alastor. Your turn."

Alastor: "Hmm. Well, there was the time someone reorganized the reels, somehow without mentioning it to me before air time. And without asking me before hand. But..."

Husk: "Here it comes."

Alastor: "Reorganized their organs for them later that night, likewise unasked, was QUITE fun."

Charlie: "I THOUGHT WE SAID WE COULD JUST TALK ABOUT OUR FEELINGS!"

Alastor: "My feelings?"

Niffty: "PURE UNDILUTED JOY"

Alastor: "Mm no, they didn't scream enough for that..."

Charlie: "AAAAAH!" (covers ears)

Alastor: "Shall we say perhaps, accomplished?"

Vaggie: "Over one murder? Wow. You're sure easy to please."

Alastor: "I've always believed in quality not quantity when it comes to my passion projects. Swift, thoughtless killings are so passé."

Angel Dust: "Y'know, meeting you has really ruined the whole dashing dapper man w' a tinted glass monocle for me. It's that creepy grin. You're a total boner kill."

Alastor: "Oh I do try."

Vaggie: "What about the day you died? Didn't you get fucking shot like a deer, venison a la Alastor?"

Alastor: "Fan of my history, hmm?"

Vaggie: "The TV future about it is pretty funny, not gonna lie."

Alastor: "Ah ha ha! TV DID YOU SAY."

Vaggie: "Vox airs it. Every day."

Alastor: "AND YOU WATCHED IT. HMM?"

Vaggie: "Every. Day."

Angel Dust: "I bring the popcorn and pills."

Husk: "I mix the fucking drinks."

Niffty: "I wish it had more BLOOD!"

Alastor: "ET TU, NIFFTY?"

Charlie: "Okay okay, that's WAY more than enough from you, reel back in the shadow monsters please-"

Alastor: "AHAHAHAH...!" (fades into shadows)

Angel Dust: "Creep. He's prob'ly vaping off to go curse the TV again."

Husk: "For mother fuck. I've got that cooking show coming on tonight. Will smacking the aerial with the angel spear get it working again?"

Vaggie: "Probably...?"

Charlie: "Vaggie!" (desperate) (hopeful) "You have a normal worst day at work to finish this exercise off with, right!?"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: "Uh, well sweetie...."

[whateveriwant]

could i request sumn real quick..

TF141 with a s/o who does archery, with those Japanese longbows (they’re called yumis, i think😭) ??

This was completely foreign to me so I hope I at least kinda did it justice 😭

Gaz

When you first told him about your hobby of choice, admittedly, he was unfamiliar with it

Archery as a whole was nothing new to him, but knowledge about your discipline in particular had entirely evaded him up until now

However, after learning more about it from you as well as researching on his own, he's now become your biggest cheerleader, literally and figuratively cheering you on from the sidelines

Whether you do it just for recreation or you do it for competition, he's always there to support you with 110% enthusiasm

He's like a proud dad whenever he gets to watch you in your element, always pulling out his phone to record you so he can show off to his mates later

Major cheeseball that he is, he's even gotten custom decals on his car to brag of your accomplishments, so that everyone can know about you and your unique skill

Soap

His interest was immediately piqued when you first brought up your incredibly specialized sport

You see, he used to do a little archery himself back in secondary school, and (not to brag) but he was actually pretty good at it

Of course, that confession gets your interest piqued, so you invite him to take some shots with your bow, which he readily accepts

He's positively preening as he nocks an arrow, confidence oozing from him as he takes aim… only to turn a shade of red just shy of tomato as he misses his shot by about 10 feet

He tries again and again, somehow getting worse with each shot, the frustration and embarrassment coming from him clearly palpable

Though you try to encourage him to keep going (after all, no one’s good at anything their first try), eventually, he timidly hands the bow back, saying he thinks he’s better off just leaving it to you

Price

He's a very physically active man himself, so learning that you're involved in a martial art was a major turn on for him

And him being in the military and thus heavily trained in all sorts of weaponry, the fact that it's a weapons-focused discipline was doubly appealing to him

From the first moment you brought your hobby up, he was practically begging to watch you shoot

It didn't matter if you had all the bells and whistles ready or not; hell, you could’ve been dressed in a flour sack aiming at tin cans in his backyard and he’d have still been over the moon

Wanting some privacy though, he took you to a range where you could show off your skills without distraction or disruption

And when he saw you take that first shot, hitting your target dead center, he would never tell you, but his pants got a little tighter after that

Ghost

While he finds what you do very intriguing, he wishes there was a more “real life” application to your sport

He knows how dismissive that might sound, but just think about it. In an emergency, are you going to whip out your two meter long bow to defend yourself? Exactly.

Ideally, he'd like to teach you how to use a gun. And you'll agree to let him… only if you can teach him how to use a bow

You might have some lighthearted bickering where he stubbornly insists that a gun is much more useful when it comes to personal protection

But well wouldn't you know it when one night he's awoken by the sound of someone trying to break into your flat, and what object should his fingers find in the dark? Yeah, I think you know

To you, your bow seemed like a perfectly good weapon when he used it to whack the would-be thief over the head…

Yeesh, now that earned you the side-eye of the century. But alright, he eventually conceded, maybe it does have its merits

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine Shanks learning your hometown is dangerous

Sailing up a river

Hongo: this weed is great, where'd you get it?

You: my nan sent it in her last care package.

Shanks: your grandmother sent you weed?

You: of course

Benn: I thought that your island had a rather excessive police force.

You: oh, it does, it's just that the police are usually in on it. Like one of my cousins' plug was the literal chief of police, Doug. That fat old man wasn't great at enforcing the law, but he grew some of the best bud on the island, it literally glittered in the sunlight.

Hongo: really?

You: yeah, apparently Doug retired from the police force, but started his own illegal grow operation up on the mountain and has created a ton of jobs. Or at least that's some of the stuff my friend has written about in the letters she sends.

Benn: Oh, that's nice.

You: Well, it's a bit of a mixed bag. My mom's letters say that the police force has been helping Doug deal with rival gangs, so there's been a drop in crime. But they've also been cracking down on other illegal grows, including my uncle's. And unfortunately, the police have killed six of my cousins.

Benn: [trying to change the topic, points] Look giant river otters!

Shanks: Otters, where!

The crew: [gathers against the railing]

The Otter: [eating an armored carp]

Lucky Roux: Those eyes, yeesh, are fucking awful.

You: Reminds me of the stink eye I, once, got off of a crackhead.

Shanks What?

Benn: How did you know it was a crackhead?

You: Because I literally made eye contact with him, during the lunch rush in the business district of my hometown, mid hit off a crack pipe.

The crew: [side eyes you]

Shanks: Does your hometown have an issue with drugs?

You: yeah, but it's only a side effect of all the organized crime and gang activity.

Shanks: I know you love your family and all that, but you're never going back to that hellhole you call an island. Also, I'm sending money to get your family and friends off that island.

You: [shrug]

List of Up-and-coming works || Master list || Twitter| Kofi || Patreon

[nexus-my-beloved]

This October, a brand-new story and artwork is coming to you for @deancashorrorfest ! With art by @suninjang and a fic by yours truly, we've created something we're sure you'll love !

Rating: Explicit

Major Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Alternate Universe - FBI Agents, FBI Agent Dean Winchester, FBI Agent Castiel, Blood and Gore, Dean Winchester has a Crush on Castiel, Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Winchester Has Issues (truly, without saying the plot outright even if it's somewhat obvious, anything else is a spoiler! But Dean has issues. Period.)

Summary: Senior Special Agent Castiel Novak and Special Agent Dean Winchester are partners within the FBI's Criminal Investigation Division. Lately, they've been following a set of murders, cold cases that even Castiel - the bureau's best agent - can't solve. The murders seem entirely unconnected, no string to suggest that they're similar at all - that is until Castiel begins to recognize the victims. Suddenly, things are starting to slot into place, and Castiel isn't sure he likes where the signs are beginning to point.

Teaser: Once at the front desk, Dean worked out what they needed to be allowed access to the back room, and Castiel continued to look over the report. 

The amount of injuries sustained were concerning, especially when Castiel began to wonder how exactly the killer had the time to inflict them all. Dean pulled him along into the back room, allowing Castiel to continue to read. “It’s strange,” he started, lifting up a page and being granted sight to another photo. “All the bruising around these cuts… It’s almost like…” 

“Yeesh,” Dean exclaimed, taking in the sight of the body in front of him. “Looks like she got Tatum Riley’ed.” Castiel looked up from the report to give Dean a confused look, unsure of who Tatum Riley was. Dean didn’t seem too impressed by Castiel’s lack of knowledge, however, giving him a surprised look. “What? C’mon, man! Scream! Ghostface?” Castiel only shook his head. “I don’t understand that reference.” Dean scoffed, pointing over at the wounds. “Dude, I don’t know how you do so well at this job without seeing a horror movie or two. Look– Tatum Riley was one of the people that got killed in Scream, right? She got cornered by a killer in the garage and the door back in was locked. She tried to get out using the doggie door that was on the garage door, but she got stuck halfway through. The killer lifted up the garage door and crushed her in it while she was stuck.” 

Castiel shuddered at the visual. It didn’t seem like a pretty way to go out. 

“Anyway– look at this,” Dean continued, pointing at the bruising and cuts. “I mean, it doesn’t look perfect. There was probably a few knife slashes in there, y’know? The movie never actually showed Tatum’s wounds– I mean, you could see that the head was clearly fake when Sydney saw her later– sorry. We never actually saw how she looked after, under the shirt and all, but I’d imagine it might be similar to that.” Castiel nodded a bit, thinking about the scenario. It did seem probable. 

“I was never actually told where they found her body,” Castiel admitted, looking over the body before back to the report. “I’ll be back. I’m gonna go see what I can find out.” Dean nodded, shooing Castiel away. “Yeah, you go see. I’ll try to get a few other guesses on what might’ve happened to Riley 2.0 here.” 

Making his way towards the front desk, Castiel allowed himself to think. A kill that seemed similar to a horror film? Could it be the same killer that he’d been unable to catch? If so, then the killer must’ve really switched gears — that, or Castiel was incredibly uncultured on horror movies to recognize similar murders (that very well could be the case; Castiel wasn’t one for understanding movie references).

A kill similar to a classic Scream death? The circumstances being different than the other cases? Is it really the same killer, or does the culprit have a vendetta against Castiel, a want to lower his self-esteem through a subliminal message worthy of being compared to Will Graham's first killer in Hannibal?

Find out more soon - It Will Come Back hits Ao3 this october . . !

[oinkinpigprince]

Alan x reader from smiling friends (idk the topic but the reader is overworked and he tries to help out)

Yippie!! I like Alan, even if he hates homeless people/J. Did y’all see that rumor saying gwimbly was suppose to be Daniel Larson, I doubt it :33c

Alan x stressed reader

Okay Alan, very cut and dry with a whimsical nature to him. I can’t imagine him dancing around the issue like maybe Pim, he’s extremely blunt and straight to the point.

He comes over and takes one look at you says “yeesh, you should like go back to bed.” Very sweet of him/s

But in serious he does send you the couch to relax, no matter where you work you can over work. So no matter what he’s taking all access to work away.

Painter? No more paint palettes. Office? Woah where did your keyboard go! He’s a little strange but you can’t help but laugh.

I think Alan can cook pretty well! Out of everyone I’d say he’s probably the best cook, with his fancy cheeses and his own garden. So he cooks you something up real yummy and energizing

He isn’t the type to do your work for you, unless you work with the smiling friends company, so he’ll just start doing littler things for you

Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning; his favorite thing! He seems like a very clean person and loves it, so he’ll probably clean your house for you, including your bedroom.

After he’s done he’s really happy to just be able to sit with you, like he came here to do. He’s the type of person you’d want to sit and do nothing with, his aura is very calm.

If you thank him he’ll dismiss it “I just don’t want you complaining to me about being tired all day.” So he cleaned your house?? Bullshit, he’s just a bit bashful :33c

[bwabys-scenarios]

7 Minutes in Heaven

Various!HXH x Reader

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

taglist: @desiray562 @lovelyxkazuha

if you would like to be added to the NSFW taglist, comment a ❤️!! make sure you have your AGE in your bio, and that you’re able to be tagged/mentioned!

It was late October, and after meeting up with your friend Kurapika and Leorio for some fun fall activities, you came home to see a letter in your mailbox.

“Dear (Name),

You have been cordially invited to this years Costume Party. Please come wearing a costume, and be aware that there may be some people there that you do not like. Guests are required to hide their identity with their costumes, and fighting is prohibited.

Regards,

Pariston”

You frowned, seeing that there was another letter attached that had the address and time it would be taking place. Fortunately(or unfortunately really), you didn’t have anything planned for that day, so you didn’t see why you shouldn’t go.

All you would need is a costume.

“You got an invitation too, (Name)? Both Leorio and I received one the day we parted ways.”

You blinked, looking between the two. “Oh yeesh, I hope that it hasn’t been handed out to every hunter in existence. I will actually pee my pants if Hisoka is there.”

Kurapika grimaced and Leorio started laughing. “Shit, don’t do that he might like it!”

Now both you and Kurapika were grimacing. “(Name), don’t worry. If he shows up, just stick by our sides and we’ll protect you.”

You nodded, giving your friends a quick hug and peck on the cheek. “Aww, thanks guys!”

You turned just in time to miss their blushing faces. “Let’s buy our costumes together, so we can recognize each other at the party!”

“Oh, that actually sounds like a good idea!” Kurapika said after recovering from the kiss. Leorio nodded, following after the two as they headed towards a costume store.

——————

You look down at your costume, a black dress, a masquerade mask, and witch hat. It was a little plain, but followed the rules of hiding your identity. The only people that would know who you are would be Kurapika and Leorio.

You walked towards the address, stopping in front of a large mansion. “Did he seriously rent out a mansion just for a party? Figures…”

Before you could even knock, the door swung open and you were pulled in by Pariston, the only person not wearing a costume. “Welcome, you’re just in time! Everyone else is here, and ready to party!”

He was right, the entire first floor was full of people, some easily recognizable, and some not. You were hoping that the man lingering in the corner of the room was not the leader of the phantom troupe, Chrollo, because that would mean a battle to the death between him and Kurapika.

“Pariston, I don’t know what you have planned, but-“

Pariston smiled down at you. “Shh, just have fun. Everything will be fine. Probably.”

You pout, but join the crowd of people, drinking a little and dancing. You spotted a short dark haired man nearby, sitting with a taller, blonde haired one.

“Come on, Fei. It’s not often we get invited to things. Phinks is already dancing, look!”

You blink, glancing to where the blonde was pointing to see a man swaying on the dance floor, sipping from his drink. They spot you looking, the shorter man giving you a look that sends you running in the opposite direction. “Hey, don’t mind him!” the blonde yells after you.

You sigh, bumping into someone as you turn. “Oh sorry I-“

A man towers over you, his hair dark and long. His eyes peer down at you through his skeleton mask, and you can’t help but feel tiny compared to him. Thankfully, he just pushes past you, patting your shoulder almost reassuringly.

“(Name)!”

Kurapika and Leorio spot you, sighing in relief.

“Geez, woman. You should have texted us when you got here! There’s a lot of creeps here.” Leorio said, patting your head.

Kurapika scowls. “Yeah, creeps and criminals. Does Pariston think we’re stupid? I can sense the phantom troupe is here. I swear I’ll-“

You grab his sleeve. “Hey, no violence, remember? Try to be calm, just for tonight. You recognize them, but they don’t recognize you. You could get some information out of them once they get drunk enough.”

He sighs and nods slowly. “You’re right… I need to be calm.”

Kurapika smiles appreciatively. “Thanks, (Name). You’re always a voice of reason.”

As the three relax and drink, planning, Pariston comes forward. “Alright gang, I’ve got a game planned for you all!”

You all turn to see Pariston holding a hat. “Drop an item of yours into the hat!”

Everyone grumbles, not a single person wanting to listen to the annoying blonde. To get it over with, you’re the first person to walk forward, placing your strawberry scented chapstick in the hat. “There.”

Others come forward, the entire party placing items in it. A few have to be dragged up to the hat, others grumbling and growling as they’re nudged forward.

“Alright, that’s everyone! Now…”

He looks to you, grinning.

“We’re playing 7 minutes in Heaven. Come pick an item, (Name).”

You blink. “Are you serious? What are you, a horny 15 year old?”

Pariston laughs. “No, but I am curious.”

You roll your eyes as some people start to murmur and ask what 7 minutes in heaven is.

“For those unaware, 7 minutes in heaven is a game where two people are locked in a closet for seven minutes! You can do whatever you want, and I really mean whatever.”

Your two friend begin to protest. “Hey, she’s the only woman here, this is sexual harassment!” Kurapika yells.

“Meh.”

Pariston offers the hat to you, and you groan. “Oh whatever. I’ll take a stupid item.”

You rustled through the hat… what do you pull out?

Options:

-a needle

-a bookmark

-a scalpel

-a cellphone

-an earring

-a piece of candy

-a roll of gauze

POLL FOR WHAT COMES FIRST!!

[strwbivy]

hii! i love your writing! can i please request a suga/kageyama fic where their s/o starts paying attention to the plushy they had gifted them? I hope it fits your writing standard!! <33

A FLUFFY PROBLEM — SUGA , KAGS .ᐟ

synopsis. they gave you a cute lil plushy as a present, not expecting it would backfire on them.

wc. 1.6k words | genre. fluffy | cw/tags. no warnings, bear plushy, jealous sugawara + kageyama, final exams, studying, movie night w/ kags, very fluffy stuff, kag's part is longer because yes (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

m.list // hq. masterlist

you've got mail ✉ ! hi anon! first of all i just wanna say tysm :D <3 and your request is just too adorable! i just can't not write it! i kinda struggled with writing sugawara since he's not my fav but i tried my best! and uhhmm i just realized i have a terrible problem with overwriting and writing too much unnecessary stuff so yeesh.. (; _ ;)..

♡—KŌSHI SUGAWARA

he suddenly gives you a mysterious gift. you felt the slight weight of it as you swayed the paper bag.

" thank you, sugaaa! this is really nice, but what's the occasion? " you asked, looking at the gray-haired man. he lets out a snicker. " ohh nothingg~, i just wanted to give you something once in a while, you know? " he replies in a monotonous voice.

you gave him a small smile before taking another look at the bag. "so are you gonna open it? or are you just gonna stare at it all day.." he jokes, chuckling at the end of the sentence.

you returned his chuckle, before finally opening the sealed bag. tearing up the strips of adhesive, you eagerly open the bag. your nose caught a whiff of a very familiar scent.

the source of the scent was coming from the bag. you checked out the inside of the bag, and you see a light-gray colored bear was containing it. you gasped with excited eyes, as you immediately took the plushy out, letting the bag fall on the ground.

you faced the bear in front of your face, observing the gray coat of it. the scent of sugawara's cologne lingered around the plushy. so you directly smelled the tummy of the bear, inhaling the fragrant scent. you slowly moved the bear sideways to reveal your smirking face to suga.

" hmm? the smell seems so familiar.. " you commented, pretending to act clueless. you then take another good whiff of the plushy. " i wonder who it could be?? " sugawara gave out a chortle.

" oh yea, i sprayed some of my cologne on it. just in case, if you missed me, you can just smell it, you knoww? " he says, elongating out the last word. " mhhh hmm, sureee.. " you hummed out while you gave the plushy a good squeeze.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝

ever since sugawara had given you that scented plushy, you were totally obsessed with it. you had brought it with you to school, the mall, and had traveled with it. the scent of it had slightly faded away, but nonetheless, you still adored the stuffed animal.

the date of your finals was nearing, and you just needed some help with a specific hard subject. fortunately, sugawara was good at the specific topic.

you asked sugawara to tutor you, and he, of course he agrees without hesitation.

he came to your house after school, he had brought some notes of his and the both of you started to study on your desk, that had the plushy displayed

" so to get the answer, you just need to find the LCD and divide it to just add it. did you get it? " he turns to you. he notices how your eyes were set, fixated on the bear plushy.

a heavy sigh leaves his mouth, which draws your attention back to him. startled, you snap your head to him. " ohh uhh.. yea-yea! " you answered in a tone that wasn't quite convincing.

his face softened with a weary expression, his lips pursed as he looked at you. he rests his cheek on his hand. " y/n, i know that tone of yours. you know you can't fool me. " you listened to his words, but you can't help it but have another peek of the plushy.

and he then suddenly cups your face with a hand, facing your head directly to him. " hey, you. i know that plushy is cute an' all, but i'm trying to help you study here, but you're so focused on that plushy. "

a pouty expression appeared on his face, making you feel guilty at the slightest. he hesitates, his lips part with uncertainty as he contemplates on. but with a deep long sigh, he becomes confident to some degree.

" focus on me won't ya? "

♡—KAGEYAMA TOBIO

kageyama had given you a plushy as a toke of his affection. he knew that plushies were your favorite, and he wanted to give you something special to show how much you mean to him.

he was quite nervous giving it to you at first, because he wasn't quite sure you would like it. and to no-ones surprise, you accepted his gift wholeheartedly. he felt relieved after you received his present with a smile on your face. his eyes watched give affection to the plushy, feeling a sense satisfaction to his right choice of gift.

and so, the raven colored plushy had captured your heart entirely. its fur feels so soft at touch, and it's beautifully blue-colored eyes and a cutesy little bear face that screamed cuteness had you keep adoring and giving it every little bit of your attention.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝

a planned movie date marathon was made between you two.

he had come over to your house late at night, carrying with him a wide variety of snacks and drinks that he knew you loved. he had carefully chosen each item, knowing that you would appreciate his thoughtfulness, and was excited to spend the night watching movies with you.

and once he set foot into your humble abode, something had caught his attention. and it's that it seems like you had another guest. but it's more of a roommate rather than a guest since the esteemed guest was actually living there.

his eyes peered over to the plushy that was sitting on your couch, right at his spot. a scrunched up expression appeared on his face, while he looked directly into the plastic eyes of the plushy.

to him, the plushy looked alive to him. he felt the bear plushy stared right back at him as he stared at it. it seems like he had started a staring competition with it. his nose only scrunched up further when he glared at it longer.

during that time, you were observing his odd deameanor.

you noticed the scrunched expression on kageyama's face as he carefully placed the snacks and drinks on the table, and you could see that see that his gaze was locked onto something. your eyes then followed kageyama's line of sight, only to realize he was looking right onto the bears face.

being slightly confused, you just shrugged it off that he was just appreciating the thought that you loved his gifts.

finally, after preparing the snacks and arranging the couch to be more comfortable, the movie night had finally started.

the opening sequence of the movie rolled in, the bright light of the tv almost blinding you. you sat beside the bear, which was sitting at kageyama's owned spot. kageyama groans as he gave the plush a disapproval sidelong glance.

and as the movie continued to play, you got into a cozy position. you layed your back on the couch, pulled up the soft blanket, and placed the plushy right up to your chest. you snuggled up to the soft head of the plush while you squeezed its ears from time to time.

as you felt warm and comfortable, kageyama was feeling cold. he glanced at you occasionally, feeling a tinge jealousy that your hands were all over the bear and not his. he sighs, as he hugs himself.

the more you cuddled with the plushy, the colder and kageyama seemed to get. he shot fleeting glances at you, as if he wanted to be held by arms instead of the bear. a soft sigh leaves him as he hugged himself a bit tighter, trying to keep himself warm, but he secretly wished that you would give him your attention and to him instead of the plushy.

but after a few long glances later, he had enough. he needed your attention badly. he then follows his first thoughts, grabbing the tv remote with a slight haste.

" whoa! that look so coo— what the?! " the sudden power off of the tv caught you off guard. your head immediately turned to your raven-haired man, he was already looking at you.

you looked at him with a confused expression. " um tobio?? why did you uh.. do that? " you asked, but he didn't reply. he instead moved closer to you. his hands pushed your thighs to give way for him to on your stomach.

kageyama then cuddles himself to you, finally getting the warmth he has been longing for. but there is one more thing he needs to do.

he lifts his head from your stomach, facing you and then looking at the plushy. he gives the plushy a good long look before taking it, removing it from your side. you look at him with a slight shock.

you were about to speak, but you immediately get cut off by him.

" tsk, why are you always paying so much attention to that plushy? you're always cuddling that damn thing. " he states, his tone being a bit upset.

" oh kag— " he cuts you off once again.

" it's not fair, i'm your boyfriend, and that's just some stuffed toy i gave you! that damn stupid plushy.. " his last words trail off as a sudden heat of embarrassment came to his face.

you were quite at a loss for words. ' so that's why he acted that way! he was jealous '

you began laughing at the situation as the man lying on your stomach got more embarrassed. you could clearly see his ears getting pink!

despite kageyama feeling embarrassed after admitting his envy towards the plush, he is just glad he has finally got your attention and he gets to feel your warmth again.

copyright © strwbivy ↣ do not copy, translate or repost.

[shira-cosmic-star]

Little things to love. Jabberwock HC

(This was ordinally supposed to be a different HC. Then I got sidetracked and came up with this one. I promise I'm working on the Wish Me Mell pt 2. It'll be posted some time tomorrow. Thank you kindly for your patience.)

Warning: Nothing but fluffy, GNreader

-------------------------------------------

Haru: 

Mc headed over to Jabberwock to assist with the animals. It was a long week and maybe this will cheer them up? They’ve always enjoyed spending time with the boys and Peekaboo.  After making your way through the entrance. MC see a wide grassy field. So far there wasn’t any signs of animals or ghouls nearby. Just a straightforward path to the dorm. As MC walked on the side walk, they looked around deep far into the distance. 

“Gahahha! Watch out!!” MC heard a voice behind them. As soon as they turned around Mc see a goat like anomaly, running towards them. Panic begins to set in. 

‘Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh! What should I do!?’ They sway left and then right. Unsure which direction to go.  

“BAM” 

“Ow” They cried as the goat ran straight into them and slammed its head into theirs. Haru quickly runs over to them and helps Mc up. 

“Gah! Are you okay MC?” He questioned after seeing what the goat did. MC had their hand on their forehead. Once he removed their hand to take a look. There was a knot on their head. 

“Is it bad?” He looks into their eyes. 

“No, no, no! Nothing an ice pack can’t fix!” He stated cheerfully. Haru takes their hand gentle and guide them to the dorm. In the dorm Ren was sitting on the couch watching YouTube. After hearing the door creek open. Ren looks up from his phone. 

“What happened to you?” While he raised one of his brows, he asked. 

Not fully wanting to admit what just happened. MC pouted and removed their hand from their forehead. 

“Eh? Yeesh.” Haru had come back in the room and handed MC an ice pack. Once they have placed it on themselves , he hummed to himself. “MC, why didn’t you move out the way?” His voice carried with concern. 

“I-I was going to, but I panicked and I-I didn’t know where it was heading...” MC explained their thought process. They stumble with their words as they feel the rush of embarrassment forming on her face. He chuckled and patted her back. “Hey it’s all okay. It could’ve been worse.” He explained to MC in a tempt to cheer them up. MC smiled and nodded their head. 

“Yeah! I could have broken a nose or busted my head!” MC spoke with a cheerful voice and good attitude. Haru loved this about MC. He stands up straight with both hands on his hips. “That’s the spirit! Gahahah!!” His laugh rings throughout the dorm and They joined him. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Towa 

Upon, MC’s arrival. They have offered Towa a dandelion. Which to their surprise, Towa eats it before they could say anything. From that day on. He had taken a liking to MC. Though he isn’t much of a talker. He still listens and communicate the best that he can. Towa would nod his head, yes or no while he makes little sounds. Mc is able to tell by the tone of Towa’s hums whether he is saying ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ 

Right now, both of them are sitting on the hill watching the sunset. Mc would do most of the talking. Meanwhile, Towa would listen. He enjoys hearing all of her stories. Rather they were happy, sad, silly, or scary. Though, the one thing he loves the most. Would be how caring and mind she is. She would often stop by with homemade lunches for all of them. Making sure that each of them had at least a healthy full meal. Mc would even take care of peekaboo, while Haru and Towa was out. Often when Mc makes the meals. She would make sure Towa’s was perfect. Favoritism? Probably. She spends a lot of time with him. So why not put a lot of effort into making his meals? Mc had learned which flowers he likes to eat. Some flowers he would eat. While others he likes to smell and admire. 

Towa also loves to cuddle with her. He would sit her, right between his legs and hold her to his chest. Recently, Mc has been with the other ghouls and helping them out. This makes Towa extremely upset, he misses her so much. So, now they are both cuddling was they watch the sunset. When it starts to get dark outside. Towa tells her how much he enjoys being around her. So much that he wishes it never ends. He will always be grateful for the things Mc do. Not only for him, but Haru too. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Ren: 

Ren was working at the Mystery Diner this evening. He had messaged MC about joining him. They were planning on watching horror movies and playing video games together. But unfortunately, MC wasn’t available that night. They were off on another mission with the other ghouls from another dorm. Recently MC has been cancelling the hangouts due to the missions. Ren sighs heavily, he knows deep down they don’t mean to cancel on him. Yet, he couldn’t help, but miss their present.  

Shortly after the mission, MC had gone to the school store to find something that Ren might like. They went from alle to alle. They couldn’t find anything there. Disappointed, they sighed. Then and idea came to mind. They decided to make him a gift. ‘Maybe that will cheer him up? Hopefully this isn’t cheesy or makes things weird...’ Alongside of some snacks he might like. This took them a few days to make his a cute sorry gift. They have messaged him, asking if he was either at the dorm or at the diner. He had clarified that he was at the dorm. Shortly, MC walking into the dorm. Ren wasn’t in the lobby, nor was he in the kitchen. That could only mean one thing. He was in his room.  

‘Knock Knock’ MC hits their knuckle on the door. Ren opens the door to see who it was. They had their hands behind their back. Standing in front of him was MC. Looking guilty like a child who had done something wrong. “Oh hey” He was the first to speak. Ren opens the door wider and lets them in. Mc sits down on the edge of his bed and took a deep breath. 

“Ren, I’m so sorry for cancelling the past few hangouts. To make it up to you. I’ve made you this. They showed him the basket of horror movies, his favorite snacks, and cute little items that reminded MC of him. There was a shark key chain. A small plushie of his favor horror movie character, and a note for him.  

“Don’t read the note yet. I rather you read it when I leave. I’m truly sorry Ren, I hope you can forgive me.”  

Ren’s heart beats faster and louder. His ears red as his cheeks. He was speechless, how on earth is he able to talk now? He can’t even look them in the eyes. His fists balled up from his anxiety. He takes in a deep breath. Looks them in the eyes and spoke. 

“You didn’t need to all this, but thanks.” At the end of his sentence. He looked away extremely bashful. With his hand rubbing the back of his head. MC knew that all was forgiving. Ren have asked them if they wanted to stay and watched the movies with him and share the snacks. Both of them hearts swells with a certain feeling. Who knows where things will lead in the future. 

--------------------------------------------

(Edited)

Thank you for reading this feel free to like, comment, and reblog!

You can also request anything in the "ask me anything" box

𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝐷𝑎𝑧𝑧𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠✮

[in1-nutshell]

Hello again! another tfa Elita One's twin sister w/ Sg Blackarachnia with a slice of life?

Maybe where Elita One's twin took a day off, like having peaceful time away from work or war related, whether shes's alone or shes accompanied by someone or group (maybe with sari, Megatron, or others)

Add idea:

She's been followed by cons/bots (probably Meg and/or Op/Elita/Sentinel), Elita One's twin Didn't know about it

Buddy really does need a break from all of this.

Hope you enjoy!

Elita One's twin sister and Optimus Prime: slice of life

SFW, Platonic, Romance, Cybertronain (techno organic)reader

TFA

It had been an extremely stressful week for both sides.

Optimus had been called over and over by his team, the city, and the Decepticons skirmishes.

The Prime was running on fumes and knew it was only a matter of time before he would collapse. He did try and get his team to lay off a bit, but he knew in the end he would have to take care of it as leader.

Buddy was starting to get frustrated and impatient with how this week had been turning out.

The number of repairs, renovations, and overall, back up was testing her.

Not even Megatron’s sweet words did anything for her.

Then one evening she did snap.

She was so done with everything.

She even threw her screwdriver through the wall nearly impaling Blitzwings wing to the wall. Marching straight into the main room and yelled catching everyone’s attention.

Buddy venting heavy looking at everyone in the optic.

“Now that I have your attention. I will be taking all tomorrow for myself. There will be no medic available until tomorrow is done. If you have an injury, there are other mechs around with medical experience. Unless you are currently offlining, You. Will. Not. Disturb. Me.”--Buddy

Megatron steps to her side.

“Are you sure that is wise—”--Megatron

Buddy turning her helm sharply to her significant other borderline glaring at him.

As if daring him to say the wrong words.

Megatron felt a bit uneasy as he chose his words.

“I mean that the last time you went out, you had been captured. I do not think I need to remind you of that.”--Megatron

There are some murmurs of agreement around.

Buddy gives him a pointed glare before morphing into a sickening sweet face.

“You are right Megatron. Maybe I should take someone with me.”--Buddy

Megatron nods in agreement.

“I wonder if Optimus is available?”—Buddy

All the Decepticon’s look at her in disbelief.

“…what?”--Megatron

“You can’t be serious?”--Starscream

“Why take the puny Prime when you have Lord Megatron right here!?”--Lugnut

“Because Lugnut! Everyone here has recently taken their mandatory breaks, which need I remind you I recommended you take. If this week has been tough on me, I can’t imagine how Prime must be and he is just as stubborn as I am when it comes to breaks. Anyways, I want to spend some time with him. It’s been a while since I’ve had a moment to chat with him.”--Buddy

Buddy looks at Megatron with puppy dog optics.

“You wouldn’t want me all sad knowing that my friend is suffering and me stuck here read to snap?”--Buddy

Megatron’s optics widen a bit.

But the leader is unwilling to give in screwing his optics shut.

Buddy smirks a bit and gently pries his servos open carefully playing with his digits.

“Megatron?”--Buddy

“Yes…?”--Megatron

Buddy suddenly thrusts her servos to his chassis bringing him down to her level.

Her optics looking at him dead serious.

“If I don’t get this break with my friend… I. will. Snap. You see that screwdriver on the wall. That’s going to be IN someone if I don’t get out.”--Buddy

Megatron gulps a bit before absent mindedly nodding.

Buddy’s face falls into extreme tiredness and hugs him before turning to everyone else like she didn’t just put fear into their leader a couple seconds ago.

“Thank you all for understanding. See you all tomorrow!”--Buddy

Buddy leaves the room ready to com in Optimus.

Megatron stands back up straightening his back, optics lingering on Buddy’s retreating form.

“Yeesh! Remind me never get on… whatever side that was…”--Blitzwing

Starscream looking at Megatron.

“Are you really going to let her go? Just like that?”--Starscream

“Of course not. We are going to watch over her.”--Megatron

Lugnut raises his servo.

“Yes Lugnut?”--Megatron

“…Is it wise to do that Lord Megatron? You could be betraying Buddy’s trust in the process. Yes, things have happened in the past with Buddy, but must we stoop so low as to spy on her as if she were an untrustworthy traitor? She is your partner after all…”--Lugnut

All the Cons look at Lugnut as if he grew a second helm.

“That was… insightful of you Lugnut.”--Blitzwing

“I am the only one here with a loving Conjunx.”--Lugnut

“… This is an order to watch over Buddy.”--Megatron

“As you command Lord Megatron!”--Lugnut

Meanwhile Prime just got off the com with Buddy.

Buddy was letting him know that she was going to pick him up so they could have a day for themselves.

He tried to tell her no, but Buddy casually mentioned what she did in the main room.

Now Optimus knew this was serious and changed his answer.

He could practically see Buddy tired smile as she thanked him and hung up.

“Attention everyone. I won’t be available for the rest of the day tomorrow. I’ve got plans with Buddy—”--Optimus

“So, we can join you.”--Sari

“She wants it to just be the two of us. A ‘friend day’ as she put it.”--Optimus

“And what about the Decepticon’s? what if they attack?”--Prowl

“I don’t think they are going to attack while Buddy is out.”--Optimus

“And how can you be so sure?”--Prowl

“Buddy can get very creative if she doesn’t get the mandatory break, even more when it gets disturbed.”—Optimus

He shivers a bit thinking about the last time that happened.

“What is she going to do? Put us in a web?”--Bumblebee

“The last mech who disturbed her peace ended up in the Academy’s med bay.”—Optimus

Silence…

“Say what now?”--Bumblebee

“Oh I know this story.”--Ratchet

“You do?”--Bulkhead

“She was one of my pupils, of course I know. She grabbed a couple rounds of sedative rounds and shot the mech in between the joint wirings. He didn’t come out of it for days.”—Ratchet

Most of the team has wide optics hearing this.

“How didn’t she get in trouble?!”--Bulkhead

“She knows how to hide the evidence. And if I know my student, she probably put the fear of Primus in Megatron if this day gets ruined.”--Ratchet

“And that’s why I’m going. Anyways it’s been a while since we’ve just had a day to ourselves. I expect there will be no interruptions unless there is an absolute emergency. And no, the controller running out of batteries is not an emergency. Good night.”--Optimus

Optimus made his way to his room as his team began to hatch a way to follow him and Buddy on their day off.

It was just a precaution; they weren’t going to let their day get ruined by the Cons.

The next day came in.

Buddy woke up earlier than usual excited for the day and ran to the exit, swinging to the city.

Around the same time Optimus started leaving the Plant.

Both teams were ready to start spying.

Buddy met Optimus in the park.

The two hugged and immediately started chatting away.

Imagine the surprise when both teams found each other spying on their teammates having the free day.

There was a small moment where they were going to fight but it was shushed by Ratchet.

He scolded them, warning that if they got caught not only would they be betraying the trust of the pair but the fact both needed this time.

“And we don’t want to end up like the mech in the medbay.”--Bulkhead

“What mech in the med bay?”--Lugnut

“Oh, she didn’t tell you? She put a mech in the med bay for disrupting her day off.”--Ratchet

“Yeah! She shot him with so many tranquilizers that he woke up days later!”--Sari

The Cons looked at each other with a sudden cold shiver running down their back.

Ratchet smirks a bit.

“By the Allspark she did put the fear of—”--Ratchet

“Shush! They’re going to hear us!”--Starscream

“Then truce. Nothing ruins their day. They both need this.”--Prowl

Reluctantly the Cons call a truce for the sake of their teammates.

They both ended up working to make sure Buddy’s and Optimus’s day was perfect.

From swatting incoming balls, shooing birds, even taking hits from a rough paint bot.

Buddy and Optimus were not oblivious to the fact both of their teams were following them.

But they thought it would be fun to play along.

Just to mess with them.

Eventually the day came to an end.

Buddy hugged her friend dearly and they both went to their homes.

Both teams raced to their individual bases and tried to act as if they didn’t do anything.

Optimus entered the plant to find most of his team scattered around the room.

They looked tired yet tried to act as if it was nothing.

“I take it you all had quite a day?”--Optimus

“Oh…ummm… Yeah! Bulkhead wanted to try a new painting style and it took all day!”--Bumblebee

Optimus gives them a look and walks to this room before stopping.

“We’re going to need to practice on your stealth Bumblebee. You can’t hide behind a hot dog cart and expect it to cover all of you.”—Optimus

Bumblebee stares at him with his jaw wide open.

Optimus smiled mischievously and went to his room.

He heard multiple groans and a sound that sounded like someone flicking someone on the helm.

Meanwhile with the Decepticons…

Buddy walked in acting a bit surprised seeing her team a little bit worn out and slightly dented.

“You guys had quite a day I’m guessing.”--Buddy

There are some groans here and there.

Buddy giggled a bit as she turns to hug each member of her team before giving an extra-long one to Megatron.

“I’ll fix all these in the morning, I think that sleeping off the day will do your frames good. Especially after getting pelted with pain guns.”--Buddy

As Buddy made her way back to her room she smiled a bit hearing the groans and something that sounded like a helm hitting the wall.

[elleloquently]

hi lovely <3 could i request protective!ellie and reader (relationship) in a patrol but things go south and she almost gets bit by an infected and ellie is just "i can't believe i almost lost you" and literally never gets reader out of her sight after that. thank u so much! :D

a/n : i literally love this sm thank you for requesting bc after reading this prompt i could not get it out of my head!! that being said though i'm sorry this took a bit ): the format for this is kinda weird i think maybe idk yeesh but i had too many ideas so anyway yes so cute love her c/w : weapons (guns mentioned,) violence against infected, protective!ellie my beloved (not quite edited </3)

fears all the way down - ellie williams

spring hesitated to make its welcome, the morning rays shyly peeking out from behind gray skies and dark clouds. every morning upon waking you would yearn for a sunny day, and finally the sun decided to grace the sky. it was the kind of brightness that would cause you to squint upon stepping outside, desperate to shed a few layers despite the air still being chilled, anything to feel the sun on your skin.

morning frost turned to morning dew, the slight crunch of a boot or a hoof that once crushed the delicate crystals into the grass was replaced with a slippery wetness and mud, new prints left to track.

you relished in it now, closing your eyes only briefly to imagine a world without infected, free to walk or ride without pausing at any given sound or movement. your horse followed faithfully behind shimmer, ellie's horse, as she led the way. she was always like this, leading and guiding and taking charge. it was infuriating and endearing, you would roll your eyes but only if your lips wore a smile as well.

you didn't patrol often, but when you did, ellie always found herself as your partner. incessant and persistent, you weren't aware of just how much trouble she had caused behind the scenes. rearranging shifts and lecturing just about anyone who would listen to her thinly veiled threats, the patrolmen of Jackson would rather give in with a sigh than have ellie williams worked into a fuss over who was partnered with her girlfriend.

even jesse, a dear friend to you both, knew exactly who was knocking at his door even before the sun came up on a day where you were supposed to ride out on patrol together.

it wasn't that ellie didn't trust them, or have good faith in them, because she did. and it wasn't that she didn't trust you, or think you to be capable, because she did. nevertheless, ellie displays her affections by protecting the ones she loves. you happened to be a lucky one, much to your frustration and adoration. you relished in her care but you also worried about her well-being, an endless cycle of stubborn lovers where you both seemed to keep simultaneously winning and losing.

"all good back there?" ellie noticed your silence, glancing over her shoulder with a curious smile.

you hummed in response, nodding to affirm your answer to her question. it had been a quiet patrol so far, but neither yourself nor ellie were one to let your guard down.

continuing down a well-worn path, you had spotted something in the distance that was once a house, part of it nearly collapsing within itself. it grabbed your attention anyway so you tugged on the reigns, signaling for ellie who seemed to have spotted it as well.

"think it's worth a try?" you posed, and ellie mentally debated your question.

"i think it's been a bit since anyone's gone down there..." ellie eyed the path, coming to a decision with a sigh. "might as well," she shrugged, directing shimmer towards the house.

your horses fell in step with one another as you approached your destination, weary of the trees that nearly covered the house. shimmer stopped first and ellie quickly jumped down from her faithful companion, coming to your side.

ellie shielded her eyes from the sun, offering up her free hand. you took it, gratefully, and landed feet on the ground next to her. you took a quick inventory as ellie pulled out a gun, cautiously scanning the surrounding area.

"be right back, tulip," you murmured to your horse, armed with your own weapon as you carefully approached the house.

less snow made it easier for delicate footsteps, but any infected were sure to be better blended with the greenery that were soon to be blooming again. no matter how often you were outside, or dealt with infected, you couldn't stop your heart from pounding with the threat of danger looming over your head at any given moment.

the door to the house was ajar, raising your own levels of suspicion. you glanced at ellie, who's eyebrows were drawn to a crease. you were practically holding your breath upon entering, only to let out a breath of relieve when yourself and ellie came to the conclusion that it was clear.

"i'll watch the front, do you wanna check the back?" you offered to ellie, relaxing your grip on your weapon.

"be careful," ellie responded with a nod, giving you a quick, cautious smile.

you glanced around the room, trying to see if anything was worth picking over when ellie's voice broke the brief silence.

"i mean it!" she called pressingly, though the desperation in her voice was just enough to make you laugh.

a quick glance out of the window at shimmer and tulip left you satisfied, so you pulled your attention to the wreckage that covered the room's floor. there wasn't much, not really, but some of your best finds thus far had been from searching through areas like this one.

you kicked at an old chest with your boot, watching dust particles fill the air. not expecting much, you lift open a fragile compartment and grin at the unexpected sight.

"ellie," you call, using a lighthearted tone so that she doesn't mistake it for trouble.

she appears quickly anyway, amused with the proud look that's painted itself on your face.

"more ammo," you clarify, presenting her with a little box. it wasn't much, but it was certainly more than either of you were expecting, considering the looks of the place.

"that's my girl," laughed ellie, reaching out to bump your arm to which you rolled your eyes affectionately. you could show her a rock and she would probably still respond with, 'nice!'

you poked around in silence for a bit, occasionally hearing drawers opening or a mumbled swear coming from ellie's direction. it was almost nice, and you admired the way that the sunlight was warming you from the windows when a sound broke through the atmosphere.

freezing immediately, you drew your gun and waited. you prayed that you were only paranoid, but the noise sounded again and this time it was closer, there was no mistaking it.

you were lurking near the doorway, close enough to keep a watchful eye on the horses when another croaking sound made your blood run cold. the floorboards underneath your boots creaked with every step so you stayed put, eyes frantically darting around the trees as far as you could see.

gun pointed through the door, you held your breath and waited. anything that knew you were around would be hot on your trail by now, and quickly.

you waited and waited, and all you heard was silence and the occasional snort from a horse. despite the nothingness that greeted you, you felt a growing pit in your stomach and a strong desire to go back to the main pathing where you had been previously riding.

you slowly crept through the doorway, carefully closing it only halfway while you checked everything within your eyesight once more before calling to your girlfriend. you frowned, glancing over tulip. shrugging off your extra jacket, you slung it over her saddle when you suddenly heard a branch snap.

at the sounded tell, it was already too late. a stalker came barreling out from behind a line of trees, hyper focused and thrashing as it hurdled toward you. with no time to think and hardly any time to move, you wielded your gun but the creature was faster than you, stronger than you.

your body slammed against the door, knocking it open and you nearly fell backwards which allowed you to slip through the infected's grasp as it thrashed for you. immediately footsteps pounded through the house and gunshots rang in your ears, the stalker lying at your feet.

dazed and trembling as if you were frostbitten, you stared down at the infected unmoving as ellie quickly pulled you into her arms.

"hey, hey," she reassured you, checking over your body quickly just in case for any marks, but you had been saved.

"ellie," your voice wobbled, but you quickly blinked back any tears. you wanted to just dust yourself off and move on, strong and brave like you always promised ellie you would be. she worried so much, and you didn't want to actually give her a reason to worry but despite your efforts, you found yourself falling apart in her arms.

ellie held onto you, tightening her grip with every shaky breath that escaped your mouth. "it's alright, i've got you. i've always got you," she mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

you stayed like that only for a moment, too anxious to make another mistake. you quickly gathered your bearings and decided to call it on patrol, ellie gripping your hand as you left the house together. she helped as you hoisted yourself up onto tulip, only letting go of your hand and returning to her own horse when you were firmly grabbing the reins.

ellie was in autopilot, checking in with you and mumbling directions as you rode quickly and carefully to Jackson. the obnoxious sunshine only made your tears look more obvious on your cheeks and you roughly wiped them away with your sleeve, not wanting to appear as pathetic as you felt.

ellie grew increasingly more quiet, only quickly squeezing your hand once you made it back to safety. without a word she moved to stable shimmer, and a horrible feeling washed over you. she was acting as if she were mad, and you couldn't blame her. you remained at tulip's side, stroking your horse as you watched your girlfriend wordlessly move around the stable.

"i'm so sorry," you whispered, and ellie froze once you broke the silence. her back was to you, and you almost expected her to simply ignore you, or to start into a lecture, even though ellie would swear she wasn't always like joel, all you heard were reflections of his words in her careful pleas.

"i don't know what happened, it was so dumb and it happened so fast, ellie, so fast and i had my gun out but-"

ellie slowly turned to face you, and the look of guilt was evidently written all over her face. you abruptly cut yourself off, feeling even more awful than before.

she tried not to often reflect the losses that she had experienced, but even as strong as ellie was, it wasn't something that could be buried. even when the wildflowers start to bloom again and the skies turn blue, the threat of potentially losing someone that you love was hidden in every corner, ready to jump out and completely envelop you at any given moment, any small slip or mistake. it was nearly maddening, not knowing if that could be the last time you ever hear someone's voice. her losses were her failures, and she refused to let you be one of them.

shame and worry took over you, your eyebrows drawing together as ellie stared at you, shaking her head before starting towards you. ellie quickly pulled you into her arms once more, furiously blinking away her own tears. "i can't believe i almost lost you," she whispered into your hair, to which you quickly drew back.

"hey," you started, relieved that she wasn't upset but devastated by her confession. "i'm okay ellie, i'm not going anywhere, i promise," you reassured her.

"i know," ellie pressed. "that will never happen again," she spoke, half telling you and half telling herself. "i promise, nothing will ever happen to you."

you yearned to make ellie the same promise over and over, but you knew it wasn't the time. you allowed her to dote over you for the rest of the evening, her hand never leaving yours, not even while you had dinner. with every quiet check-in of a whispered, "are you okay?" you would nod and squeeze her hand, allowing her to look after you because you knew it was what she needed, to feel competent and to prove to herself that she was capable of protecting the one that she loves.

[bambiraptorx]

Not Quite Hidden AU: part 2. Word count: 397. Readers chose: be awkward.

“Where did you get your children?” Draxum asks.  The ferret stares at him with an expression that can only be described as horror, his tail twitching spastically.  Perhaps that wasn’t the… best response.  Well, too late now.

“That’s—I—none of your business!” The ferret settles on, gnashing his teeth.  

Okay, now that’s just uncalled for.  It’s not like Draxum’s trying to start a fight here, he just needs to know.  “Yeesh, no need to get aggressive.  It was just a question.”  

Somehow, that only serves to make the yokai angrier.  He pins his ears back.  “Raphael, Michelangelo, come here.”  The ferret speaks slowly, tensely.  “We aren’t done shopping yet, remember?”

“But he has arm spikes!  Like me!” The largest—Raphael?—whines loudly, and latches onto Draxum’s train again, yanking on the fabric.  If he manages to tear it…  

The ferret’s fur puffs up.  “Raphael, now.”  This guy must be pissed to do that in public.

“I don’t wanna!” the child shrieks.  Ouch, that was loud.  “He’s cool and I like him!”

The other turtle—Michelangelo, probably—nods fiercely, and wraps his arms around Draxum’s leg, either ignorant or oblivious to how Draxum tenses at the contact.  “Donnie’s it now, I’m staying away from him!”  

The softshell shakes his head rapidly and points to the slider, who gasps.  “Oh, right!”  He springs forward, and the turtles clinging to Draxum squeal in affected fear.

“Can’t get me now, Leo, he’s a safe zone!”

“Nu-uh, you can’t just call safe zone like that!  And he smells too weird!”

The turtles bounce and argue, clicks and hisses spewing out between their words, and two of them are still touching him.  Why are they still touching him?  This is bewildering.

The ferret yokai puts a hand over his mouth, his fur suddenly going flat.  “Boys, no—I am so sorry, they’re usually better behaved than this—boys!”  

His last shout comes a second too late, right after the slider jumps to tackle his brother and misses, slamming himself into Draxum’s lower leg.  He grunts in pain, and barely manages not to kick out or lose his balance.

“Boys.  What have I told you about rough-housing while we’re grocery shopping?!”  The ferret hisses sharply.  The turtles hang their heads in shame—minus the softshell, who hasn’t moved and doesn't appear to think himself in trouble.

“To not to,” they chorus collectively.

The ferret sighs heavily.  “I… apologize for their behavior.”

Previous | Next

[lokisis]

Hi pink!! It’s marrow here! First, let me tell you all something.

I have to say that out of everything, making art is probably my favorite pastimes. I love to make a good mask, and to have my hands stained with ink and paint and salt, caked with paper mache and glue.

When I was a small, small, child, the first toy I remember having was a model of the human body, with squishy, toy, organs, and plastic, toy bones, and stringy toy muscles. It had a clear plastic shell around it in the shape of skin. Half of its limbs were bones, and in the abdomen was a rainbow of make-believe viscera. I was well acquainted with the shape of a heart, liver, lungs, kidneys, stomach, intestines, the ribcage and the muscles. It came with a booklet explaining what each thing did, and so I took out each piece from its chest, one by one, then putting them back in. Of course, this is the standard I learned to hold nearly every toy I got after it. I used to be outraged that the little ceramic sculptures at the pottery painting places at the malls had no internal organs, no lungs or blood or moving parts. And of course, this carried over to the illustrative arts as well. My classmates in the art room don’t tend to appreciate my off handed comments about taking apart cadavers. I got mad at cartoons for not following the rules so clearly outlined by the bones and the nerves and the tendons inside a body. When I draw a figure, I don’t just draw their skin, because I need to think about where their tendons and their muscles come to rest underneath, for fear of something that looks collapsing in and rotted in the wrong way. And of course, it stands to reason that this bleeds over into myself. So, what do you think of my masks? Aren’t they cool?

The Magnus Archives, “Skintight”

“…heard an impact, and Sarah seemed to be flung across the room by a heavy blow. She hit the wall hard, and I heard a crack as she slumped down, a smear of blood left on the wall.

I froze. I didn’t know what to do. Part of me wanted to run over and see if she was alright, but I just couldn’t bring myself to move. After a second or two, Sarah stirred. She shouted something into the room, this time in a language I didn’t understand, and dragged herself to her feet. She removed her jacket and I saw that there was something very wrong with her left arm. Bits of it seemed to be hanging off where it had hit the wall.

She gripped it with her right hand and, er… well, this is where my colleagues would laugh me out of the industry. She peeled off the skin of her left arm. As if she was taking off a glove. I saw it stretch and come away from whatever was beneath. In the camera’s small viewscreen I couldn’t see what was there, what was underneath, but it was dark and shiny. I will never forget the sound of the skin coming away from her arm.”

Yeesh.

Is that... why he stopped coming..?

Ha. Haha!!

Of course, how could I forget? You haven't seen him yet!

W-Wait. So that thing I saw in the trash zone- that poor imitation-?

That was actually-?

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Triangulum - Chapter 2- Unsettling In

— — — — — — —

“Dibs on being the first Pines inside the Shack!”

The old floorboards creaked lightly under Mabel’s weight as she bounded through the door, pausing only to drop her bags by the staircase before she continued on towards the living room. “Aww, I’ve missed this place!” 

She jumped from the small doorway step to the carpet, twirling on her toes like a ballerina before she gestured to the television set. “Hello, ancient TV that only plays local access channels~!” Her gesture moved to the large dinosaur skull in the middle of the room. “Hello, weird T-Rex skull that we use as a coffee table for some reason~!” 

She waggled her finger at the aquarium. “Hello, giant aquarium tank that only sometimes has an animal in it~!” she said with a giggle. “You can’t hide from me forever, Sir. Wiggleton the Pink!”

From the nearby couch where she had seated herself and Waddles, Wendy raised an eyebrow. “Sir. Wiggleton the Pink?”

“That’s what I call Stan’s axolotl,” Mabel explained matter-of-factly. “He’s very sneaky, and likes to hide a lot. I only got a good look at him, like, once last year!”

“Maybe he sneaks out when nobody’s looking?” Wendy suggested, then snapped her fingers with inspiration. “Ooh, what if he’s actually some kinda secret agent, one who goes out and fights bad guys? And that's why it's so hard for anyone to spot him in the tank, ‘cause he’s not always in the tank!”

“Yeah, yeah!” Mabel agreed enthusiastically. “Maybe he’s part of a whole secret organization of secret-agent animals! And they all wear funny little hats!”

While they laughed in unison over the idea, more creaking from the hallway floorboards drew their attention to the doorway. A moment later, Dipper’s body was propped against the frame for support, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he gulped down precious breaths of air.

Between the desperate attempts to catch his breath, he shot Mabel a sour look. “You know, most people might call ‘tripping your brother as he tries to pass you in the driveway’ something along the lines of—oh, I dunno, maybe something along the lines of—cheating?”

Mabel’s mouth curled into a coy little smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dipping Sauce~!” she said innocently. “Not my fault you don’t know how to avoid branches while you’re running.”

“You literally stuck out your leg as I was trying to pass you!” Dipper argued. “And then after I fell, you laughed about it once you were sure I wasn’t actually hurt and was only just mildly inconvenienced!”

From her spot, Wendy let out a cackle. “You tripped him? Brutal.”

“It was a branch!” Mabel insisted. 

“A branch shaped like your leg!”

Mabel waved him away. “Oh, we can go on and on about things I did or didn’t do all we want—”

“You did do it.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered anyway!” Mabel continued, tossing her arms up in the air. “I still called dibs on being the first Pines to step inside, and you can’t go against dibs!”

“She has a point,” a voice spoke up behind Dipper, seconds before Ford stepped into the room. “The International Dibs Protocol is highly respected across countless dimensions, with millions of interdimensional beings valuing the weight it holds when it comes to ownership over specific affairs.”

He pressed a hand to his chin. “I believe at one point, there was even talk amongst the council members here in town about passing a law that would make adhering to said protocol mandatory. But the idea was scrapped before the House could ever lay an eye on it.”

“Yeesh, so this town’s just fine and dandy with people marryin’ woodpeckers or deciding ownership of a place based on whatever chump’s got the deed in their hands,” Stan called from out on the porch. “But you call dibs on something and suddenly that’s going too far—hey, hey! Knock it off, Soos, I’m not gonna look!”

He cast a miffed look to his right, where Soos had firmly remained throughout their entire walk up the driveway. His arms were spread out as wide as he could possibly get them, and he had even crab-walked up the porch beside Stan in an attempt to block something from his line of sight. 

“Sorry, Mr. Pines,” he said, keeping his arms outstretched until both of them were safely inside the house. ”But I can’t risk you seeing anything on the other side of this building until I give everyone the tour later!”

Stan let out a gruff sigh as they joined everyone else in the living room. “Yeah, yeah, like I’m in any rush to jump right back into work stuff after a nine-month vacation.”

Soos gave him a pitiful look. “Wh-you mean you’re not excited for the tour of all the new exhibits and stuff?”

“...I said ‘right back into’, didn’t I?” Stan pointed out. “Gimme an hour, we’ll see where I’m at then.”

He moved to the couch, then paused with a look to Wendy. “They got all the rats outta this thing while we were gone, right?”

“Completely rat free,” she assured him, moving her hand to Waddles’ head for scritches. “Although you’re never gonna guess what happened after we chased the last of them out of the shack—”

“Well, that sounds like six voices,” a voice called from the kitchen, seconds before a woman peeked her head through the doorway. “Pretty sure that’s everyone, unless we’re also expecting the girls.”

“Negative,” Wendy replied, as Stan settled down next to her. “Mr. Pines put down a hard no on any sleepovers tonight. Well, any sleepovers with the under-fourteens, at least.”

“Dipper also put down a hard no,” Dipper added. “Also hey, Melody!”

“Melody! Hi!” 

Mabel’s features lit up as Melody stepped out into the living room proper, and both twins rushed over to greet her further with a hug. “Hey, you guys!” she said, bending down to reciprocate. “Been a while, huh?”

“Sure has!” Dipper said with a hearty laugh.

“It’s so nice to see you again!” Mabel added with equal amounts of enthusiasm. “How’ve you been?”

 “I also think it’s nice to see you again!”

Before Melody could answer, all three suddenly found themselves lifted up from the ground. “I know we were only gone for, like, fifteen minutes or so,” Soos said, hugging all of them close to him. “But still, that’s enough time to miss someone, right?”

Despite most of her face being squished against his own, Melody smiled up at him.  “Well, fifteen minutes is about the same amount of time it takes to complete Ladybug on Dancey-Pants Revolution—” She paused and wriggled an arm free to tick off her fingers. “—what, five times? Five and a half? Just saying, that feels like an eternity when you’re trying to hit a perfect combo, doesn’t it?”

“That is so true,” Soos said with a nod. “You have such a way with words, babe.”

A squeak of delight drew their attention to the teenagers smushed between their bodies. “Hehe, you guys are adorable!” Mabel piped up. “And nerdy!”

“Also you’re kind of squishing us,” Dipper added with a wheeze.

With an apologetic smile, Soos lowered the group back down to the floor. “Sorry, dudes! Got so caught up in giving Melody a hug, that I kinda missed you were there.”

“Don’t worry, I’m okay,” Mabel assured him as she straightened out her clothes. “Being squished like that made me feel like the ham and cheese in a lovey-dovey sandwich!”

She gave a nudge to her brother’s arm with her elbow. “Guess that makes Dipper the lettuce and tomatoes!”

“What? Why am I the vegetables?” Dipper asked.

Mabel shrugged with a smile. “Because even if they’re not the most exciting ingredients, it just doesn’t feel like a proper sandwich without them,” she explained, pressing her hands together as if she were forming a sandwich herself. “But you gotta put ‘em between the meat and cheese, otherwise their veggie juices get mixed in with the condiments. Then bread gets all soggy and fall-apart-y and the sandwich is just inedible at that point.”

“Okay first of all, rude and gross. Second of all, that is a very weird analogy which explains nothing.” 

He pressed a hand to his stomach. “Although weirdly enough, it is making me hungry.”

“Good thing I got a head start on dinner before everyone got here,” Melody said. “In fact, I just checked the timer and there’s only a few minutes left before I need to pull it out of the oven—oh, by the way, lasagna from a box is fine with everyone, right?”

She directed her question both to the kids and to the group that had gathered by the couch, earning her a nod from Ford. “Fine with me. Meals that require minimal effort to prepare have sustained me since my college years, and I see no issue with continuing that trend now.”

“Long as there’s no fish involved, I’ll eat anything,” Stan assured her.

Wendy, who had distracted herself with scritching the spot between Waddles’ ears, looked to him. “Got sick of seafood out there on the open ocean, Mr. Pines?”

“Got sick of badly-prepared seafood.” 

Stan shot a pointed look to his brother. “Apparently somebody can rip out the spine of a zombified fishman from the ‘Walking Bullhead Dimension’—” 

“We’re gonna start this again, Stanley?” Ford interrupted, giving him an flat-but-amused look that implied they had discussed this topic countless times before.

“—but you give the guy a regular tuna to debone, and suddenly it’s all ‘Oh, this is ~soooo~ hard!’” Stan continued in a jestful tone. “‘I’m gonna make my twin brother nearly choke on a rib bone! Or two. Or five.’”

“Their spinal cords are more delicate than what I’m used to handling,” Ford insisted. “The anatomy of an anthropomorphic fish person—oh, uh, make some room?”

“Huh? Oh, right.” Stan made a gesture with his hand for Wendy to move. “Hey, scooch over and put the pig on the floor so we can all sit down.”

“I can take him off your hands now, Wendy,” Mabel said, holding her arms open. “Although he’ll probably end up on the floor anyway; I know he’s been dying to root around in the carpet for burrito bite crumbs again!”

While Wendy readjusted and passed Waddles back to his owner, Ford seated himself comfortably next to Stan. “As I was saying,” he continued. “The anatomy of an anthropomorphic fish person resembles our own more than that of a non-anthropomorphized fish from our dimension. This size increase in bone structure makes it far easier to get a grip on their spinal column and just—” He made a tearing motion with his hands. “—rip it straight from the body—”

He paused and looked to the younger twins. “Only when such drastic measures are necessary to take, of course. Had the dimension been populated by living anthropomorphized fish people, I would not have resorted to ripping out anyone’s spines.”

Stan lightly bumped his knuckles against Ford’s arm. “Heh, sounds like a buncha fancy-schmancy excuses from a guy who never learned how to properly work a pair of fish tweezers,” he said, making small, pinching motions with his fingers. “What’s wrong, Poindexter? Thought you were used to usin’ delicate sciencey tools out in the field with your dainty little sciencey grip.”

“Nothing about my science or my grip has been dainty in over thirty years, and I think you know that.”

“Yeah, tell that to the octopus babe you tried to hook up with off the coast of Australia! When’d she leave again, less than half-an-hour into the date?”

While Ford responded with his own playful fist to the arm—one that Stan cackled loudly at in return—Mabel knelt to the carpet and set Waddles at her side. “Aww, it’s nice to see you two getting along so well now!” she said sweetly. “Does that mean no more fighting? I mean, actual fighty-fighting and not play fighting?”

“Psh, please, let’s not go that far,” Stan replied, with a wave of his hand. “Of course we’re gonna fight, we’re siblings. Or are you forgetting how you tripped your brother out there in the driveway?”

“It was a bra~anch!” Mabel insisted in a singsong tone.

Dipper gave her a flat look. “Still gonna go with that excuse, huh?”

“Yeah-huh~! Also it’s not an excuse.”

With a wink to them, Stan snaked an arm around his brother’s shoulder. “But if anyone’s worried about a repeat of last year’s performance, don’t be!” he assured them. “Nine months of punching sea monsters and nabbing treasure from sirens have made us thick as thieves, just like old times!”

“While Stanley’s claims are a touch exaggerated, he’s not wrong,” Ford replied. “Despite our petty bickering over fish preparation, there’s nothing quite like spending months out on the open seas with someone to remind you of what’s really important in life. Sailing around the world on the adventure of a lifetime—”

He cast a small smile in his brother’s direction. “—well, it puts a lot of things in perspective.”

With a faux look of disgust, Stan pushed him away. “Ugh, why’d you have to go and make what I said all sappy? What, you wanna make the kids blow chunks on their first day back?”

While the kids giggled at this response, Ford nudged him in retaliation again. “Well, if you’re going to be like that, we could always go back to our petty fish arguments,” he said with a smug look. “You’ve harped on my inability to properly debone a fish, yet you act as if you didn’t completely butcher the deboning of those seatrout we caught along the coast of Florida.”

“Hey, hey, I plead the Florida loophole!” Stan insisted. “Which clearly states that if anything funky happens within the Florida boundaries, it was caused by the fact that we were near Florida.”

He folded his arms firmly across his chest. “Can’t be blamed for anything when we’re sailin’ through territory that could give this town a run for its money in weirdness.”

“Oh, you two were down in Florida?” Melody piped up. “That’s exactly where Abuelita headed a few days ago!”

“She won a free trip in a bingo game,” Soos explained with a look of pride. “Man, you should’ve seen how jealous Agnes and Bertha got when she held up her winning card—”

The ringing of a timer from the kitchen turned everyone’s heads to the doorway. “Oh, sounds like the food’s done,” Melody said. “Better go ahead and start plating.”

“Need an extra hand?” Soos asked.

“Mmm, I think I can manage slicing up lasagna by myself,” she assured him, before casting another look at the group. “Besides, I know how excited you were for everybody to get here, and I wouldn’t dream of pulling you away from everything just to help me slop some food on a plate.”

Soos moved his hands to her shoulders with a solemn expression. “I love you. So much.”

With a chuckle, she leaned up to kiss his cheek before turning back to the kitchen. Once she disappeared out of sight, Soos let out a warm sigh. “Isn’t she the best?” he asked to no one in particular.

Stan turned to Wendy with a raised eyebrow. “So them bein’ all lovey-dovey with each other,” he said. “Is that a rare thing or am I gonna have to actually start stockin’ up on eyeball bleach for the summer?”

“Told you to keep it in mind earlier,” Wendy said, hand on her hip. “Also, you call that ‘lovey-dovey’? Kisses and random compliments for the other when they’re not even in the room barely crack a three or four on the Soos-Melody Romance scale.”

She tilted her head in thought. “Though I guess it’s been more about quantity than quality lately. Can’t go five minutes without one of them trying to smother the other person in affection because of…reasons.”

She raised a finger to her mouth before casting a look over at Soos, who smiled and pressed a finger to his own mouth in return. Leaving the Pines family to watch them with raised eyebrows and tilted heads. “Well, that’s not cryptic or anything,” Ford said.

“Yeah, what’re you two hiding?” Dipper asked. 

“C’mon, spill the beans!” Mabel added, with a quick glance around the living room before she followed up with: “...If there were any opened cans of beans lying around, you know I’d poke ‘em over for dramatic effect!”

“Hehe, that’d be so funny,” Soos said amusedly. “It’d be like…a callback or something! But sorry, dudes, no beans of any kind can be spilled at the moment. Whether it’s beans of the secret variety, or just the ones in a can.”

“Why not?” Mabel asked.

“I mean, I think we ran out of them yesterday so you can’t spill what—”

“The secret part, Soos,” Dipper clarified.

“Oh, that!” Soos pressed a hand to the back of his neck with a tender look. “Well, it’s kind of a big deal, y’know? And I wanna wait until Mel and I can tell you together.”

“Yeesh, this secret of yours must be big big,” Stan said with a loose chuckle. “What, are the two of you getting married or some…thing—”

The mild amusement in his tone faded as the punchline he was waiting for never seemed to come, while the giddiness in Soos’ expression only seemed to blossom further. His cheeks had brightened to a light shade of red and he’d pressed hand over his mouth as he tried—and failed—to hide the smile that was quickly taking over his entire face.

Wendy also slapped a hand over her mouth to hide her smile—her entire upper half trembling as if she were holding back the biggest laugh of her life—while a deafening silence of realization overtook the rest of the Pines family.

“Alright, who wants the first two plates?”

It was Melody who finally broke the silence, having returned to the doorway with a paper plate of lasagna in each hand. “Again, I would’ve prepared something better for a welcome-back dinner, but with Abuelita out of town and the party tomorrow—”

“YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!”

Mabel’s words were punctuated by an ear-piercing scream—one that earned slapped hands to the ears of everyone except for Melody and Soos—and she flung herself around the neck of the latter to hug him tightly. “You guys are getting married! I can’t believe it!”

Dipper hurried to join in the hugging of Soos with a hearty laugh. “Congratulations, Soos! I’m so happy for you guys!”

“Can I be the flower girl?” Mabel prattled on. “Can Waddles be the ring bearer?!”

“What?! Why Waddles?” Dipper asked, then looked to Soos hopefully. “Can I be the ring bearer?!”

Melody stared at the sight with a look of mild confusion, to which Soos shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, babe,” he said meekly, and slung an arm around both of them. “Guess my poker face needed a little work.”

She chuckled in response, and went to set the plates down on the t-rex skull. “Well, I guess that’s one way to spill the beans.”

“YEAH! I spilled the beans!” Mabel said delightedly, pumping a fist in the air. “The metaphorical beans!”

“I mean, technically Stan was the one to spill them,” Wendy said, flashing Stan a grin. “You should’ve seen the look on your face, dude, it was priceless!”

This earned her a pair of narrowed eyes from Stan. “Hey, hey, what’s with you and the jokes today? You should be a little more respectful to the guy who used to sign your paychecks.”

“Mmm, are you going to be signing my paychecks again now that you’re back?”

Stan opened his mouth to respond, before the implication behind her reply snapped his attention right back to Soos and Melody. “Woah, woah, hold on, go back a sec—you’re telling me that you two are actually tyin’ the knot?”

Melody held out her hand, an engagement ring with a beautiful, purple gemstone resting comfortably on her finger. “End of the summer’s our set date,” she confirmed. “Oh, not the end end of summer; Soos told me that the kids’ birthday was the last day of August, and he didn’t want to take the spotlight away from their special day with our special day.”

“Aww, what? Booo!” Mabel protested as she hopped down from Soos’ arms. “Come on, we can share the day with you guys! Right, Dip?”

“Yeah!” Dipper agreed. “If there’s anything that’ll make our birthday better, it’ll be sharing it with your wedding day!”

Soos pressed a hand to each of their heads with a warm smile. “Aww, man, now I kinda wish we did!” he said, with a hopeful look to Melody. “You don’t think we could—”

“Normally I’d say yes in a heartbeat,” Melody said. “But we’ve already booked the photography, and you know how they are about rescheduling at the last second.”

“But don’t you guys have three months?” Dipper pointed out.

“To a wedding photographer, rescheduling earlier than five months counts as last minute,” Melody explained. “Especially if your set date’s in the summertime; they’re usually pretty swamped from June to the middle of September.”

“You shoulda gone for a Vegas wedding,” Stan said. “You get in, get out in an hour tops and all you need is a witness.”

He crossed his arms with a scowl. “And I guess you’ll need a safe for your valuables, in case the broad’s only marryin’ you for your winnings and plans on running off with ‘em in the middle of the night. …On second thought, don’t get married in Vegas.”

“Well, thankfully I don’t have any plans to go running off with any of Soos’s valuables, so there’s nothing to worry about there,” Melody said, taking a look around the room. “Besides, I’m pretty sure the majority of his valuables are sitting right in this very room, and I don’t think I could carry most of you.”

This earned her a chorus of ‘aww’s from the kids and Soos, and a retching gag from Stan. “Yeesh, forget the eye bleach thing, I’m gonna need something to scrub out my ears with after hearing that.”

“You’ll get used to it,” Wendy said, rising to her feet. “You still want some help with the food, Mel? I’ll do it just so Mr. Pines has an excuse to stop complaining about all the mushy stuff.”

Melody pressed a hand to her mouth to try and stifle back another laugh. “Sounds like a plan,” she said, and gestured for Wendy to follow.

While Wendy hurried after her—Stan glowering at her until she was out of his line of sight—the kids continued to swarm Soos with questions. “So where are you guys holding the wedding?” Mabel asked, hands folded together. “Ooh, lemme guess! Uh, uh—the arcade? No, that’s not romantic enough. Hoo-Ha Owl’s Pizzamatronic Jamboree? Since it’s where you had your first date?”

“Here at the Mystery Shack?” Dipper guessed. “Or, you know, a regular church?”

Soos pointed at him. “Ding ding ding, Dipper got it! Or, uh, he was right with the first guess.” He tossed his hands in the air. “We’re gonna have it here at the Mystery Shack! We’re gonna make some space outside, maybe put the alter over in that spot by the totem pole—it’s gonna look so good!”

“Well, I know I’m happy for both of you,” Ford spoke up from his spot on the couch. “I mean, I might not know either of you very well. But from the little I’ve seen of you two together, this is clearly a big deal and I’m honored that we get to share this opportunity with you.”

Soos turned to him with a surprised, yet touched expression. “Wh—aww, thanks, Dr. Pines,” he said, placing a hand on his heart. “That actually means a lot, coming from you.”

Ford blinked in confusion. “It…does?”

“Well…yeah,” Soos said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, I know you didn’t plan for this place to become the Mystery Shack when you built it. But because it became that, I was able to meet Mr. Pines, and then Dipper and Mabel—” He began to tick off his fingers. “—and they were able to help me learn how to get a date, which led me to meeting Melody at the mall—”

He paused, looking to his hand. “Hey, should I count the whole ‘killer video game girlfriend’ thing in there somewhere, or was that more just a…thing that happened and isn’t really connected to all of this?”

“Definitely more of a side thing,” Mabel said. “Like, it happened, but I think connecting it back to the shack is a bit of a stretch.”

“The very weird point they’re to make is that none of this would’ve happened without you building the shack to begin with, Grunkle Ford,” Dipper said with a smile in his direction. “So in a way, a lot of this is because of you!”

“This wouldn’t be possible without help from our friend here!”

Ford’s smile vanished, nails gripping the arm of the couch tighter than he’d intended as the shrill, high-pitched sound of Bill’s voice echoed through his mind. Cruel tauntings mixed with the vicious laughter of his surrounding henchman, all while he struggled desperately against the invisible binds that held him in the air—

“Grunkle Ford, is everything alright?”

Mabel’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, a expression of worry painted across her features. Not only hers, but Dipper was giving him a mildly concerned look as well.

Ford let out a slow exhale of air through his nose to steady himself. It was just a horrible, fleeting memory, as were all his memories of Bill. Outside of his nightmares, he had managed to keep a lid on most of them for the past nine months whenever they managed to snake their way to the front of his mind.

That’s all it was, just another bad memory. No need to dwell on it, especially not now.

“I’m fine,” he reassured the rest of the group with a smile. “I was just about to say that I don’t know if I would go that far with the compliments. I mean, Stanley’s the one who put all the time and effort into making this place what it is today, isn’t he?”

He looked to his right, an identical pair of eyes meeting his own as the older Pines twins stared at each other in silence.

While he and Stan had only been reunited for less than a year, falling back into the habit of picking up on Stan’s mannerisms had almost been second instinct for Ford. Despite the forty year gap between their teenhood and the present, so much of the way that Stan presented himself hadn’t changed in the slightest.

So naturally, Ford had also picked back up the ability to distinguish when Stan was hiding his displeasure with a situation.

It didn’t happen often; Stan had always been the kind of person to openly and fervently vocalize his complaints at the slightest inconvenience. A behavioral habit he had possessed since they were young boys—such a thought sent an uncomfortable wave of nostalgia rippling through Ford’s chest—and one that had clearly stayed with him throughout the years—more uncomfortable waves in his chest of a different sort.

So whenever Stan made the choice to to keep his grievances to himself, it usually meant there was more bubbling under the surface. More than he was willing to let anyone see.

And the way that his features had shifted, jaw clenched and a rigid look behind his eyes that was easy to miss if you blinked—

“Yeah, the heck am I? Chopped liver?”

Before Ford could think to question Stan, he’d already turned back to the group with an affronted look. “Or are you knuckleheads forgettin’ who even started this whole business to begin with?”

This sent a wave of laughs through the trio. “Of course we didn’t, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel assured him. “We’d never forget about you!”

“Of course not!” Dipper added with a laugh.

“Not for a second!” Soos added. “In fact, I was actually about to ask you—”

“More plates coming through~!”

Melody and Wendy reentered the living room, a plate in each of their hands. “Alright, dorks, come and get these before I eat them,” Wendy joked, passing both plates in her hands to the younger twins.

“And one for you,” Melody said, handing one of hers to Soos with another kiss on the cheek.

This got a small hum of delight from Soos, which was accompanied by another eye roll from Stan as he leaned forward to take one of the plates off the skull table. “Eugh, on second thought, I don’t want any sorta credit for this mush fest,” he said, bringing it to his lap. “In fact, unless you got more happy news to tell us, I’m turnin’ my attention to this mush fest instead.”

To emphasize his pun, he brought the back of his fork down onto the lasagna with an audible squishing sound, before shoving a large bite into his mouth. “‘Sides, the sooner we eat, the sooner we get to see Soos’s big, fancy shack tour, right?”

His point seemed to encourage the kids to dig into their own plates as well, although not without bombarding the happy couple with more wedding-related questions. Wendy, in the meanwhile, had realized that she was the only person left without any food and headed back to the kitchen to fetch herself a plate of her own.

Leaving the remaining plate on the dinosaur skull, one growing colder by the minute, for Ford to take.

He leaned forward to pull it to his lap as well, unable to resist giving Stan a glance out of the corner of his eye as he did. Stan’s expression had returned to a more relaxed look as he dug into his food, any previous signs of distress now nothing more than a memory.

Settling back into place with his plate, Ford turned his attention back to the group—specifically Dipper and Mabel as they laughed along with whatever Soos was telling them through a mouthful of lasagna. 

None of them had expressed any further concern for Stan’s behavior after it had happened, and the three of them had spent far more time with Stan than he had in the past thirty years. Sure, the two of them had spent the past nine months together out at sea, but the kids had gotten to know him over the course of the previous summer. And Soos had practically spent all of his childhood and young-adulthood around him.

If they had failed to noticed anything was wrong with him, did that mean that Ford had misinterpreted his reaction completely? If one of Stan’s closest employees and family members—people who had been around Stan for far longer than he had in the past few decades—hadn’t noticed anything wrong with him, then maybe there was actually nothing to notice at all?

“Ho-ho! Looks like Mr. Brainiac finally got smart!”

…Then again, he did have experience in not picking up on the obvious.

His grip on the fork tightened as he stabbed it into the remaining lasagna on his plate, letting out another slow exhale in the process. It was like Stan had said earlier at the bus stop. If the two of them showed any signs of stress regarding the events of the previous summer, then it was sure to stress out the kids as well.

He raised the fork to his mouth. And it was like he had said; It was a new summer. A chance for everyone to start over, and for them to start over together.

“We don’t have to do anything alone ever again, right?”

“We don’t have to do anything alone. Not now, not ever again.”

If there was anything truly wrong with Stan, he would say something. They could talk things out, find a solution together.

As he bit down on the lasagna, however, he couldn’t stop his gaze from uncertainly shifting back to his brother.

—right?

— — — — — — — — 

“Remind us again why we’re wearin’ blindfolds?” Stan asked.

“Oh, how the tables have turned,” Mabel piped up, and reached her hands out in front of her to blindly grasp at the air. “Are you going to make Grunkle Stan drive us somewhere with his blindfold on?”

“I strongly advise against anything of the sort,” Ford said quickly. 

“Nah, I’m pretty sure Soos just wants us to be surprised by all the new stuff he’s added to the shack,” Dipper pointed out, and looked towards where he had heard Soos’s voice. “Isn’t that right, Soos? …I think I’m looking at you, I can’t actually tell.”

“You got it, dude!” Soos said, giving him a thumbs up before adding as an afterthought: “By the way, you can’t see it but I gave you a thumbs up!”

Dipper gave him a thumbs up in return, while Stan folded his arms across his chest. “Yeesh, with how much you’re hyping this thing up, it better end with a boatload of cash.”

He flipped his thumb in the direction of the parked car and boat situated a short distance from the group. “And don’t think I don’t know how much a boatload is, we got the Stan-O’-War 2 parked right over there for reference.” A pause. “I’m pretty sure it’s over there, at least.”

“It is,” Soos assured him. “Alright, is everyone ready?”

Dipper gave a nod. “We’re ready, Soos!”

“Yeah, knock us dead, Mr. Mystery!” Mabel added encouragingly.

After a quick glance down at the stack of flashcards in his hands, Soos looked back to the waiting Pines with a big smile. “Greetings, ladies, gentlemen, and other assorted tourists,” he began in a rehearsed tone. “First of all, the Mystery Shack family would like to offer you a hearty welcome to the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon—”

He winked at them. “Or I guess I should really say welcome back to the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon! …‘Cause, like, you all came back to the town after leaving—”

Stan pressed a hand to his forehead. “You’re really gonna give us the entire pitch first, huh?”

From off to the side where her and Wendy were situated, Melody perked up at his remark. “He’s been waiting ages to show it to you,” she called to them. “He barely got any sleep last night out of excitement!”

“I kept opening my eyes and hoping it was finally morning,” Soos admitted with a bashful smile.

“Besides, aren’t you the one who’s always saying that buttering up the chumps that come through here is a good way to get them to toss more money at us?” Wendy added. “Why do you care if he gives you the entire pitch first?”

“Hey, never said I didn’t approve of it,” Stan clarified. “I especially like the part where he refers to the staff as a family.”

He gave a theatrical wave of his hands. “Paints a mental picture in those chumps’ minds. A picture that says ‘Hey! The people at this place must be really close if they’re callin’ themselves a family! And if they’re a family, they must have a bunch of hungry kids to feed! Let’s toss all the money in our wallets at them…for the children!’”

“Probably helps that you actually made us dress up like ‘the abnormally hungry twins’ for an exhibit last year.” Dipper cast a flat look towards Stan, then to verbally emphasize his point: “Which I will not be doing again this year.”

Stan waved him away with a scoff. “‘Course not; those extra inches on your height won’t make you pass as anything more than a starving teenager. And people aren’t as taken in by teenagers in need as they are kids.”

“An unfortunate fact, but a true one,” Wendy chimed in again. “Now shh, Soos worked really hard on preparing this speech!”

“Thanks, Wendy,” Soos said. “But I don’t mind any interruptions, especially not from Mr. Pines! If there’s anything my online forums taught me, it’s that running a business is like writing a fanfiction: healthy criticism informs me of the areas I can improve on, and makes me feel good about the areas I’m already doing well in!”

He tapped his chin. “There’s also a lot of overlap between the two when it comes to people who want to learn about how to romance a werewolf,” he mused with a chuckle. “Turns out the secret is just buying a lot of beef jerky, they go nuts for the stuff—”

“Keep it on track, Soos,” Stan interrupted with a roll of his hand.

“Gravity Falls, Oregon,” Soos continued. “A mysterious and strange town, full of mysterious and strange beings. Whether they’re human, animal, vegetable, mineral, something in between or something else entirely, the one thing they all have in common is that they call this town home.”

He tossed an arm in the air to gesture at the building behind him. “And lucky for you, our totally awesome family here at the Mystery Shack is happy to help bridge the gap between the mysterious and the…not-mysterious—”

He made a so-so motion with his hand. “This part’s a little rough, but we’re working on smoothing it out. I know there’s a good M-word that would fit there, I just can’t remember off the top of my head.”

Ford pressed a hand to his mouth, before he spoke up with a suggested: “Mundane?”

Soos’s features brightened with inspiration and he shot a finger gun in Ford’s direction. “Boom! That’s the one!” he said, fetching a pencil from his pocket. “Thanks, Dr. Pines! …By the way, I shot you a finger gun. If you don’t know what that is—‘cause of all the time away from our dimension—I can tell you! It’s when you take your finger and—”

“No need to explain, Soos,” Ford assured him. “The concept speaks for itself.”

While Soos scribbled a few edits onto his flashcard, Melody raised a hand from her spot. “Sorry to interrupt your speech, Soos, but I just want to make sure I’m getting things right now that everyone’s here.” 

She pointed a finger at the Stans, shifting it back and forth between them. “Mr. Pines is the founder of the Mystery Shack and Dr. Pines is the one who actually owns it, right?” she asked with a shrug. “Or—well, I know that technically we own it since we have the deed to the building, that’s such a weird law for this town to have—”

“You have no idea,” Stan added.

“—but you get what I mean, right? Dr. Pines is the name on the deed?”

“I gotcha, and you’re right!” Soos clarified. “Mr. Pines founded the mystery shack and Dr. Pines is the one on the deed.”

He turned to face her completely. “If it helps, you could try remembering it like this: Mr. for mystery and Dr. for deed to the shack!”

Melody considered this for a moment. “Oh, that does help, actually. It’s like a stalactite/stalagmite kind of thing.”

“You could also just call them Stan and Ford,” Mabel added. “Ooh, or Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford like we do!”

“I mean, technically they aren’t her great-uncles,” Dipper pointed out. “So that wouldn’t really make sense.”

With a tut, Mabel placed her hands on her hips. “Please, the title of Grunkle is less about being a great-uncle, and more of a state of mind.”

“...Yeah, the state of mind where you’re a great-uncle,” Dipper said pointedly. “Hence the combination of the two words.”

“You can call us whatever you please,” Ford spoke up. “Clearly there are plenty of options to choose from, and all are accurate to some degree.”

He pressed a hand to his chin. “Although I will admit that it’s been a long time since anyone has referred to me as Dr. Pines. It was far more common for people to call me that for the first few years after I finished college.”

“You know what, I’ll experiment with a few different names, see what sticks,” Melody said, then turned her attention back to Soos. “Sorry, babe, didn’t mean to interrupt. Go ahead and keep going.”

“Never hurts to double check,” Soos assured her. “Plus since the two of them are part of the Shack’s history, it doubles as a tour question! Ooh, we should write that into the speech, too—”

There was another pause as he scribbled something down on his flashcards. “See, that’s another reason I wanted to show you guys the tour as soon as possible,” he said to the Pines. “I’m adding so much that’s gonna knock the next group of tourists that hears it on their butts! Okay, let’s see, where was I—”

“Mysterious and mundane,” Dipper reminded him helpfully.

“Thanks, dude! As I was saying before, we here at the Mystery Shack are happy to help bridge the gap between the mysterious and the mundane—”

He playfully waggled a finger in Ford’s direction, before tossing his free hand in the air. “And hopefully after today’s tour, you’ll all be able to walk across that bridge alongside us! Welcome to the Mystery Shack!”

He squinted down at his flashcards again. “Is…is that good for a welcoming statement?” he asked. “Did I do a good job? Do you feel invested to learn more about what awaits in this fine establishment?”

“Oh, I know if I had a wallet full of money, I’d be tossing fistfuls at you right now,” Mabel said supportively, and dug a hand into the pocket of her skirt. “Ooh, wait, I might have some glitter I can toss instead—”

After blindly feeling around for a moment, she pulled her hand out with a with a disappointed look. “Aw, nope, false alarm,” she said, opening her palm to reveal a squished, blue blob. “Just my wad of that sticky stuff teachers use to hang up posters that I stole over the school year~!”

She dropped it in her pocket again and gave the side a pat. “Just gonna tuck that back where it belongs~!”

“And I’m always ready to learn more,” Dipper added. “So you don’t need to do much to convince me!”

“Sounds like a yes to me, Mr. Mystery,” Melody said. “We good to move on to the next part of this tour?”

“You know it!” Soos said, before looking back to the Pines. “Okay so that part of the speech would normally be followed up with me leading everyone over to the exhibits area and showing all of them off.” 

His gaze moved to the Stans. “But I know you wanted a quiet evening without tourists or sleepovers or parties—”

“We did,” Stan confirmed.

“I didn’t,” Mabel argued with a pout. “I’ll bet Candy and Grenda would’ve had so much fun on the tour!”

“Oh, they’ve taken it many times!” Soos assured her. “They’re practically honorary employees at this point, and sometimes they even help with the new exhibits!”

At this information, Mabel’s pout was immediately replaced with a cutesy smile and she squished her hands to her cheeks. “Aww, of course they do! Can we see some of the ones they helped with?”

“Well, uh—like I was saying, we knew Mr. Pines wanted at least one evening before all the loud stuff,” Soos said. “So we ended tours early for the day and sent everyone from the exhibits home.”

The Pines exchanged a series of confused, blindfolded looks, before Dipper vocalized their confusion with an: “Everyone?”

Soos looked to Melody and Wendy, who nodded in unison. “We sent everyone home,” he continued to the Pines. “But we still wanted to give you all a taste of the kind of tours we’d normally give on a regular basis! So Melody had the brilliant idea to leave out the empty displays and do a fake tour before cleanup!”

He gestured for them to follow. “If you really want to know more, you’re gonna have to come look for yourselves~! And to look for yourselves, you’re gonna have to follow me!”

“Refusing to explain further until we take the tour for ourselves?” Stan gave a proud nod. “Good, good, you’re reelin’ us in…”

“Uh, Soos?” Dipper said, and pointed to his blindfold. “How can we follow you if you can’t see?”

Soos froze, and pressed a hand to his forehead. “Oh, duh, forgot about that!” he said, and thought for a moment. “Uh…just carefully follow the sound of my voice and footsteps?”

He began to walk backwards, making wide gesturing motions with his hands as they blindly followed him. “Alright, dudes, just keep walking forward—oop, careful of that crack in the ground, Dipper! Okay, just a little further—”

“Still don’t understand why we can’t just take the blindfolds off,” Stan said, taking a few bold steps forward—

—and letting out a grunt of pain as he stepped on a small rock. “Also, since when did Soos know to call you Dr. Pines?” he asked, kicking the rock to the side. “Don’t remember you ever tellin’ him to do that.”

He directed the last remark at Ford, who was carefully toeing the dirt in front of him before taking a step. “Well, I did mention my college years back when I first stepped out of the portal,” he reminded Stan. “Perhaps he took that fact and came to the conclusion that using the Dr. prefix would be appropriate, given my numerous PhDs.”

Stan’s expression shifted for a moment. “Oh yeah, that did happen, didn’t it,” he said, before shaking his head. “Yeah, given your whole science guy thing, I’ll bet he woulda called you Dr. Pines even if you didn’t have the credentials for it.”

“I would’ve!” Soos confirmed helpfully.

“Ooh, Mabel just had a fun idea!” Mabel piped up, and pressed her hands together. “What if we called you Dr. Grunkle Ford?”

She smiled cutely in Ford’s direction, despite being unable to see him. “I’ll bet one of those PhDs is from mastering the study of Great-Uncle-ing, isn’t it? Hmm~?”

“Well, if we’re getting into the specifics,” Ford began. “The field of studies I majored in were biology, archaeology—dabbled in Hyper-Advanced Engineering and Fifth-Dimensional Calculus for three semesters, deeply regret trading the rest for an extra semester of Applied Quantum Phase Theory—”

He paused. “Oh, that was a joke, wasn’t it?”

Mabel let out a giggle. “The PhD part was, the Dr. Grunkle Ford part was not. That was also not a ‘no’ so I’m gonna tuck that away for later.”

She made a motion to grab something out of the air, and pretended to drop it into her pocket. “And just ‘cause you can’t see it, I grabbed the nickname out of the air and dropped it into my pocket,” she explained, patting her skirt. “It’s resting right next to my blob of sticky poster stuff as we speak.”

“Hey, Soos, are we able to take off our blindfolds yet?” Dipper asked.

“Just a little further ahead—ooh, okay, stop, stop!”

Soos came to a stop himself, smile wider than ever. “Alright, esteemed guests! You may now remove your blindfolds and behold the wonders the Shack has to offer! …Or, at least, get an idea of what the Shack has to offer when we’re not closed!”

Four pairs of hands met cloth as the Pines reached up to lower their blindfolds and take in the sight before them.

The area situated between the shack and the edge of the woods was reminiscent of a carnival after all the guests had gone home for the day—the grass a tamped-down mess of discarded pamphlets and trash, and a wide selection of empty displays surrounded them on all sides.

To their left stood a tall aquarium that stretched around ten by ten square feet, filled nearly to the brim with placid water. Further ahead was a lengthy presentation stage, littered in the remains of unidentifiable objects made of wood, stone—anything that looked like it would’ve been a challenge for a regular human to destroy.

Ahead of that was an artificial recreation of a magical forest glenn, one perfect for a unicorn to kneel before in a graceful and elegant fashion. A series of perches for winged creatures both big and small. A small pet bed the perfect size for a plaidypus. A collection of scattered Pitt Cola cans near a skateboarding ramp covered in massive, yeti-like footprints and tire tracks.

Empty display after empty display surrounded the Pines family as they looked around, each a clear indicator of what beings would normally occupy them during business hours.

And if the sight wasn’t enough, Soos was happy to confirm it as he lead them forward: “Now, this is our Main Exhibit Area,” he said, and gestured around himself. “Any live beings for these attractions would normally be gathered here for their demonstrations—”

“Live beings?” Dipper asked with a hopeful sparkle in his eyes. “As in we’ve started including actual, real monsters and creatures and stuff?”

“You know it, dude!” Soos said.

Mabel smooshed her face against the side of the large, glass tank, pupils darting back and forth while questions spilled out of her mouth at breakneck speed: “Is this a mermaid tank? How many mermaids are here? What are they like? …Are any of them Mermando?”

“Reminder that you’re in a relationship,” Dipper said.

Mabel pulled her face back with an audible pop, before giving her brother a pointed stare. “I wasn’t asking so I could date him again! It’d just be nice to catch up with an old friend!” 

She moved a hand to her forehead, rubbing the spot where skin had met glass. “Besides, you act like Dev wouldn’t be cool with being in a polyamorous relationship with a mermaid.”

“...You know, that is probably something he’d be cool with.”

“Soos said he had a feeling you’d like the mermaid tank,” Melody said, coming up beside them. “And Wendy had a feeling that you’d love to see me jump into it.”

Mabel stared up at her with a grave look. “I would love nothing more.”

“Called that one,” Wendy said with a smug grin.

Using the ladder near them, Melody climbed up and onto the wooden platform on top of the tank, pausing only for a moment to fiddle with something in the very center. After a few seconds, she lifted the half she was not kneeling on upwards and held it still for the group to see. 

Rather than being made completely out of wood like the other half, the ‘lid’ was made up of sturdy, steel bars with gaps between them. Like the bars of a jail cell, if the entire jail cell had been laid on its back and made of glass.

“We like to close and lock the lid between mermaid demonstrations,” she explained to the Pines family. “Keeps any bold tourists from trying to climb inside.”

“You lock your mermaids up?” Mabel asked, hands pressed to her mouth in horror.

“Wha—oh, no, don’t worry!” Melody quickly assured her. “We only lock it up once Mitch is outside of it and in his portable tank—hey, Soos, Wendy, can you guys—”

“Oh, yeah, one sec.”

Both Soos and Wendy hurried over to the opposite end of the tank and held out their arms, as if preparing to catch something out of the air. Once they were in place, Melody arched the lid up and over towards the side where they stood. While it quickly swung downwards at the two of them, they stood firm as they caught it in their arms, before gently guiding it to rest against the side of the tank.

Looking pleased, Melody turned her attention back to the kids. “Alright, I’m not even gonna try to do a proper mermaid dive into this thing because there’s a good chance I might break my neck,” she said. “So are we fine with a cannonball instead?”

“Cannonball! Cannonball!” Dipper and Mabel chanted in unison.

“Cannonball!” Soos added with just as much enthusiasm.

“Sounds like a yes to me!” Melody said, and took a small step back from the gap. “Get your cameras ready!”

Mabel held up her cell phone with a bright smile, before taking a cautious step back from the tank. “For safety measures,” she explained. “Don’t want what happened to Dipper’s phone to happen to mine~!”

“There was a chicken in science class, caught on fire and set off the sprinklers…” He shrugged in mild annoyance. “I had to get a new phone, it was a whole thing—”

“Shshshsh,” Mabel said, taking one hand off her phone to wave him quiet. “We can exchange cool stories after the tour! Cannonball time!”

“Oh, right—go for it, Melody!”

And with that confirmation, Melody took a deep breath jumped up and over the open side of the tank, folding her body into a cannonball shaped before she sank down into the water. Water that splashed up and out, soaking the grass around the tank and the toes of anyone who hadn’t followed Mabel’s example and backed up to safety.

While Melody breached the surface and swam to the tank’s side, Soos looked back down to his flashcards. “As you can imagine, normally a trick like this would be done by our hired merteen, Mitch,” he explained. “He would do a few tricks, explain a few of the basics of being a merperson, and then answer a few questions from the audience about being a mermaid and stuff.”

Melody propped her folded arms over the side of the tank. “And since I’m not an actual mermaid, I can’t really answer any real mermaid questions,” she said. “Or, at least, not as well as someone who’s been one their entire lives. But if anyone’s got any about how the exhibit works in other ways—”

“And Mabel’s hand is already in the air.”

Dipper flicked a thumb towards his sister, who was waving her arm about so frantically that it was a miracle that it didn’t go flying right off her body. Melody smiled and gestured to her with a damp hand. “Go ahead, Mabel.”

“Because I didn’t get any answers before, I repeat my questions from earlier,” Mabel said. “How many mermaids are here? What are they like?”

She turned her nose up at Dipper. “And would there happen to be an old friend of mine by the name of Mermando among them?” she asked. “One I am not interested in dating again, but one I would like to say hello to, despite what a certain someone might think—”

“Laying it on a little thick, aren’t we?” Dipper asked.

“Ehhh, we only got the one merman and I doubt you’d be interested in dating him,” Wendy answered. “He’s kinda dull, one of those beach-dude types who’s overly obsessed with surfing and sun…”

She flicked a thumb towards the skating ramp. ”Gets along pretty well with the Abominable Bro-men who hang out at the halfpipe, though.”

“Speaking of which, he headed down to the California coast for the summer,” Soos said. “Apparently he’s got a lot of family down there—”

“Makes sense,” Dipper said with a nod.

“Totally tracks,” Mabel added.

“—which means that the only mermaid exhibit you’ll get to see for the next three months is Melody’s,” Soos continued. “Unless another one applies for a job soon, that is. ‘Course we’ll still need to check their resume, confirm their resources are legitimate—”

“Which could happen,” Melody said, as she pulled herself up onto the edge of the tank. “I’ve got a couple of interviews lined up.”

She looked towards the older Pines twins. “What about you two? Got any mermaid questions for me?”

“I’m afraid any questions I might still have about mermaids would only be able to be answered by actual mermaids,” Ford said, and looked towards the rest of the displays. “And I assume the same applies to the rest of the exhibits.”

He cast them both a smile. “But I’m in full support of this method of showcasing them! I mean, using the supernatural beings of Gravity Falls as willing exhibits, and providing a chance for everyone to grow accustomed to each other in a neutral setting?” 

He tossed his hands in the air. “All with education lessons about each creature added to the mix? Quite the scientific approach to this sort of thing, color me very impressed!”

“Well, we kinda have you to thank for the idea, Dr. Pines,” Melody said. “You and the kids, of course.”

Once again, Ford found himself bewildered by the sudden praise and he tilted his head with a curious look. “Care to explain?”

“See, I spent sooooo much time with Dipper and Mabel last year,” Soos explained. “And they spent sooooo much of their time doing lots of cool, mystery stuff! Whether it was fighting some big monster or just trying to find out more about the super-mysterious author guy who wrote the journal that Dipper found in the woods—”

He once again pointed at Ford with a playful grin, before continuing: “—we learned about a lotta weird dudes! And with the town coming together and everything after Weirdmageddon, that meant a lotta those weird dudes were walking around in broad daylight. Which meant a lotta tourists started seeing those weird dudes walking around in broad daylight!”

“And as most tourists do, plenty had questions about them,” Melody continued from the water tank. “So with the Shack being one of the most popular locations in town, some talk was thrown around about us providing a space for those beings to answer their questions!”

“It probably helps that a lot of those weird dudes hid in the Mystery Shack during Weirdmageddon,” Wendy added. “So you know, didn’t take a lot of convincing to get them involved, since they kinda consider it a safe haven now.”

“That’s so cool!” Dipper piped up excitedly.

“It’s brilliant,” Ford agreed. “During my years of research, I spent so long studying all the strange and mysterious beings of this town. How they came to exist, how they functioned—”

He placed a hand to the side of the tank. “Not just them but the weirdness that surrounded the town as a whole. Why all of it was so drawn to this tiny, Oregon town out of anywhere else in the world—”

“Imagine it, Sixer—a whole dimension of weirdness! One where the strangest and most bizarre beings the Multiverse has to offer call home! All waiting for someone as brilliant as you to pop on over and show the world what they—and you—can do!”

“You really think so?”

“Buddy, I know so! This is the way genius happens! …With a little help from a friend, of course!”

The hand against the glass curled into a fist as Bill’s voice once again pounded through his skull, the memories of their ‘research’ together gripping his insides like a vice. All those years of hard work for naught, all that wasted time being fed promises from the honey-dipped spoon of a liar, the bitter truth hidden from sight until it was too late to spit it back out—

He slowly unclenched his hand with a shuddery exhale. Deep breath, just relax. Everything was fine. “—well, this whole setup is making me reminisce on more nostalgic times,” he finished with a forced smile in Soos’s direction. “That’s all.”

If Soos had caught on to his half-truth, he didn’t show any sign of it in his own expression. Rather, his own smile simply widened further as he looked to Stan. “What about you, Mr. Pines?”

Ford couldn’t help but look to his brother as well, and his eyes once again met a matching pair as the two of them stared at each other in another shared silence.

The rigidity in Stan’s features from before had returned. Far less prominent than it had been back in the house, but the way his jaw was set, the cold, studious gaze behind worn lenses—

“All I wanna know is how much this kinda stuff’s costing the two of you.” 

And quick as a flash, Stan had turned back to the rest of the group, arms folded across his chest and any sense of tension in his features nonexistent. “Don’t get me wrong; I think usin’ all the ghouls and goblins of this town to get more money outta tourists is a great idea—”

“You mean like what I suggested last year?” Dipper pointed out.

“Last year I was still playin’ dumb about all of that, in the hopes it would keep you kids outta trouble,” Stan reminded him. “Think we can safely say that ship has sailed by now. Besides, I ain’t the big man in charge anymore, so whatever changes you make to the shop are up to you and you alone.” 

He directed the back half of his sentence at Soos and Melody as he turned to face them again. “But you know me; always lookin’ at the side of business with the dollar signs. And I just wanna know if you’re turnin’ more of a profit than what you’re spendin’.”

Ford’s gaze continued to linger on his brother for a moment more, before he turned to them as well. “Stanley raises a good point. While I clearly support the desire and motivation to help others approach the supernatural beings of the Falls with a more respectful and scientific mindset—well, as Stanley put it so eloquently, such methods aren’t exactly cheap.”

“Oh, that’s nothing to worry about,” Melody assured them. “If anything, the Shack is making more money than it ever did before!”

“Oh yeah!” Soos agreed. “Even taking into account all of the paychecks we give out—of course we pay anyone who’s part of an exhibit—”

“They’re employees after all,” Melody chimed in with a nod.

“—even taking all that into account, we’re doing really well!” Soos finished, tossing his hands into the air. “In fact, the Shack is more popular than it’s ever been before!”

Ford glanced back at Stan, scanning his features for any other signs of distress. However, Stan only seemed to perk up further at Soos’ comment, even going so far as to clasp a proud arm around his shoulder. “Well, then I have no complaints whatsoever! Show me another one of these magnificent, moneymaking—uh, m—uh…whatever, just show me another one.”

“Sounds like my cue,” Wendy said, and turned to the younger twins. “Who wants to see me break something over at the Manotaur stage?”

This time, Dipper and Mabel’s hand shot up in unison, and Wendy laughed as she lead them over towards the empty presentation stage. Much like back at the bus stop, the adults found themselves left behind as Soos helped a sopping-wet Melody back down the ladder and into the grass. 

“Well, the tour might not be how we usually do things, but at least they seem to be having fun,” she said, and reached up to wring out some of the water in her hair. “Plus getting a chance to jump into a tank of water on a hot summer evening’s probably the opposite of a problem.”

“You cannonball like no other,” Soos said, tone full of sincerity before he looked to the older twins. “So you’re really enjoying the tour so far, Mr. Pines? I know you probably won’t get a proper feel of the new exhibits until you’re able to take a real tour, and I know this is a huge change from how you used to do things—”

“Like I said, it’s makin’ this place more money than ever so I’ve got zero complaints,” Stan said with a shrug. “Your methods are smart, keepin’ up with what the people want like any good business should…”

His features shifted to something that almost resembled genuine pride, if one looked closely enough. “You’re…you’re doin’ good, Soos. Really.”

A single touch could’ve shattered Soos like glass, eyes swelling with tears of pure joy.. “Thank you so much, Mr. Pines!” he said, and finally gave in to the urge he was probably holding since the moment the Stans arrived and scooped Stan up into a hug. “You’ve no idea how much this means to me!”

Any pride in Stan’s expression vanished in place of annoyance at being scooped, and he struggled fruitlessly against Soos’ embrace. “Alright, alright, save the huggy stuff for your fiance over there,” he insisted firmly. “Besides, didn’t Wendy say she wanted to show us another exhibit or whatever?”

“Oh, right!” Soos said, and looked to Melody. “Want me to hug-carry you over to the stage?”

“Soos, I’m soaking wet.”

“Then we’ll both be soaking wet!”

Recognizing a good point when she heard it, Melody shrugged and hopped into his arms and the two of them fell into a shared fit of laughter as Soos lead them both towards the Manotaur stage. 

Leaving the Stans as the remaining two near the mermaid tank. 

“Can you believe this?” Stan asked, with a light flick to the glass. “A mermaid exhibit with a living, breathing merman? And one not made out of random animal parts?”

“They really seem to have tapped into a brilliant method of showcasing the exhibits here,” Ford agreed, turning his attention to the glass as well. With Melody no longer inside, the water inside was slowly settling back to a calm and undisturbed state. “You really picked the right man to take up the reigns in your absence.”

“Yeah, I…I really did, huh?”

That heavy silence from before began to envelop the brothers again, nearly impossible to ignore by this point. Not even the whooping and hollering from the stage—apparently Wendy had started her demonstration without them—was enough to distract Ford from his growing suspicions that Stanley was hiding something.

With the way he kept looking at Ford, features set with that rigid expression that clearly obscured his actual feelings beneath, he was either hiding something or he needed to say something without the others nearby.

Well, they had a moment alone now. Best to do the straightforward thing and just ask directly. “Stanley, is everything alright?”

Stan snapped his attention from the tank to Ford so quickly that it was a miracle he didn’t pull something, and for a moment he did seem like he had something he needed to say—

—before his expression settled back into something more neutral as he leaned back against the glass. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

It was an odd thing. With the many years of conning people under his belt, Ford had expected his brother to be far better at lying right to his face. “Are you sure?” he tried again, and leaned back against the glass as well. “You know you can talk to me, Stanley. It’s like you said before: we don’t have to deal with things by ourselves anymore. So, if you need to talk about anything, anything at all…”

This earned a small chuckle from Stan. “Throwin’ my own words back at me, huh? Cheap shot.”

He hesitated to reply for a moment, before giving him a halfhearted shrug. “I dunno, it’s nothin’,” he said. “I think I’m just having a hard time getting back into the swing of things now that we’re back in town. Just a lotta new stuff to get used to, stuff that wasn’t here last year…”

He cast Ford a smirk. “Guess you could say I’m having trouble gettin’ my land legs, instead of my sea legs,” he said, leaning over to nudge him with his elbow. “You—you get it? My land legs—”

Dodging the subject with a joke, and an incredibly cheesy one at that. A classic Stanley move to avoid talking about something he didn’t want to, one that only cemented Ford’s concerns further.

However, his first remark brought a thoughtful hand to Ford’s chin. “There have been quite a few changes in our absence,” he agreed. “It would make sense that it would be difficult for you to readjust, especially in regards to the shack.”

He cast a look towards the shack itself. “I mean, you were in charge of this place for what, thirty years? That’s about five times the number of years I lived here,” he said. “Not to mention Soos and Melody’s whole announcement, I can imagine that would be quite the surprise for you—”

“Only surprise there is that there’s apparently someone on this planet more nerdy than Soos,” Stan interrupted quickly, and crossed his arms. “What about you? How’re you holdin’ up?”

Ford stared at him, perplexed. “Me?”

“To quote the words you stole from me to then throw back at me; we don’t have to deal with things by ourselves anymore,” Stan said. “So do you have anything you wanna talk about?”

“Heads up!”

A shout from the stage sprung the brothers into action, and both jumped out of the way just in time to avoid a porcelain vase whizzing past at breakneck speed, right before crashing straight into the side of the cabin and shattering on impact.

“Sorry, guys!” Wendy called from atop the stage. “Think I put a little too much oomph into that swing!”

“I think you put just the right amount of oomph into it!” Mabel said from beside her, grin bright. 

“It was incredible!” Dipper agreed. “Can you do it again?”

“I dunno,” Wendy said, tapping the end of the bat against her boot. “The destruction of valuable properly really gets both the Manotaurs and the audience all riled up, so they tend to keep the going until there’s nothing left to destroy.”

She moved the end of the bat was moved to a discarded plank of wood near her feet, gently nudging it towards the edge of the stage. “And judging by today’s damage, it’s a miracle that one vase remained unscathed as long as it did.”

“Aw, boo,” Mabel said. “I wanna see more mindless violence!”

“Sadly that’s all I got for the big lugs for now,” Wendy said, letting the bat clatter to the stage. “You squirts know all about their deal already, so random trivia is kinda out of the question. I mean, I could always do the thing where they let someone from the audience challenge them in a fight, but ehh, I’ve already gotta clean up the displays on my day off—”

“Didn’t you choose to come to work anyway?” Mabel pointed out.

“—so I’m just gonna pass the baton to Soos,” Wendy continued, tossing a hand in Soos’ direction. “How about it, Soos? You’re the only one who hasn’t shown off one of the exhibits yet, it’s only fair you get a turn before we move on to the Big Stuff inside.”

“You make a good point!” Soos agreed with a nod, and glanced around at the remaining exhibits for a moment in thought. “Who wants to watch me try and do a kickflip over at the Abominable Bro-Men’s halfpipe?”

“Me! Me!” Dipper piped up enthusiastically. “You are absolutely going to fall and break your neck, so I’m in!”

Beaming, Soos turned back to the direction of the mermaid tank. “What about you, Dr. and Mr. Pines?” he called. “You wanna join us?”

The sudden vase attack had pulled both from their conversation long enough to grow distracted by the kids’ antics on the stage. At Soos’ call, however, the two of them exchanged a look with each other. “Like I was askin’ before,” Stan tried again. “Are you okay? You got anything you need to talk about?”

It was said in such a knowing tone, as if Stan could physically see the triangle-shaped echos that were permanently etched against the inside of Ford’s mind. As if he were just waiting for Ford to offer him the chance to swing another fist at them again.

But while swinging a fist at Bill had worked the first time around, Stan couldn’t exactly swing a fist at the nightmares that had plagued Ford’s head for as long as he could remember. And even if he could—

“I’m fine, Stanley,” he finally insisted aloud. “Really, I am. Perhaps it’s as you said, and it’s taking me more time to readjust to being back in town than I’d initially expected.”

He flashed Stan a weak smile, one that his brother hesitated to return for a few seconds. But eventually, the corners of Stan’s mouth curled upwards into a amused smile of his own. “Pretty sure my exact words were ‘having trouble gettin’ my land legs’,” he pointed out, clasping a hand on Ford’s shoulder. “Was a pretty good one, if I do say so myself.”

“Stanley, you realize that ‘getting your land legs’ is about as common of a phrase as ‘getting your sea legs’,” Ford pointed out.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure I made that one up,” Stan said, and plopping an arm across his brother’s shoulders. “Now come on, let’s go watch Soos break his neck or whatever he’s gonna do.”

“Personally, I’m not a fan of Abominable Bro-Men,” Ford admitted. “But with all this talk of neck-breaking, I think there should be at least one person there who knows how to reset a bone.”

“Oh, so you’re an expert with human bones—”

While the adults followed Soos towards the half-pipe, Mabel let out a disappointed noise. “Aww man, I wanted a chance to try and fight Wendy!”

“Eh, we’ve got all summer,” Wendy reminded her. “Besides, you’re telling me you’d miss a chance to watch Soos fall flat on his face?”

With a giggle, Mabel shoved her hands in her pockets. “Now I never said that—oh, wait—” 

She shuffled her hands around for a moment, before pulling them back out and peering into her pocket with an annoyed look. “Aww, dang it, I think my wad of sticky poster stuff fell out of my pocket somewhere.”

“Eugh, that probably means it’s all covered in dirt or something now,” Dipper said with a grimace. “Probably best to cut your losses and start a new one when school picks back up again.”

“Are you kidding?” Mabel protested, gaze now shifting around their feet and the rest of the stage. “I barely managed to collect as much as I did before the teachers started catching wind of my thievery!”

Taking care to avoid any of the broken debris, she dropped to her knees and pressed her face against the stage for closer examination. “By the time fall hits, they’ll probably have security guards around every single one of those cheesy pun posters that relate to each class’s specific subject! I’ll never be able to get the new one back to the size of the original!”

Dipper placed a hand on his hip. “You realize that this is a very weird and specific problem that only you could have,” he said, then paused. “You want me to help you look?”

“Nah, nah, you go ahead and watch Soos. Just snap me some pics with my phone.”

Without taking her eyes off the stage, she held out her cell phone to him. “Feel free to add whatever filters you want, I’m partial to the kitty-ears myself.”

“Of course you are.” 

While he hopped down from the stage and headed towards the half-pipe, Mabel continued to search on her hands and knees for the telltale blob. When the stage itself produced no results, she moved to retrace her steps from the stage to the mermaid tank, to the area where she was pretty sure she’d pulled the lump out of her pocket—Soos making them walk around blindfolded had been delightfully quirky at the time, but now it was just making her search all the more difficult—

THUMP!

The sound of something heavy hitting the ground snapped Mabel’s attention towards the edge of the forest, her gaze darting about wildly as she tried to locate the source. A goal that didn’t take long for her to accomplish; a conspicuous black mass was splayed out on the ground between a pair of nearby birch trees.

Her first guess was some kind of animal, until her gaze landed on a small, fleshy hand at the end of an arm. An arm, a head of messy hair, a pair of legs—

“Wait, that’s a person!”

Once her brain put two and two together, Mabel broke into a sprint towards the unknown—potentially unconscious—body. Sure enough, her suspicions were confirmed once she reached it and knelt down to investigate.

They were short, probably not much taller than her or Dipper at full height. And as Mabel rolled their unconscious body onto their back to get a closer look, further similarities between the mysterious person and Dipper presented themselves to her.

They had the same facial structure, their noses were the same rosy shade of peach that was slightly darker than the rest of their face. Even their messy mop of hair fell over their eyes in the exact same way Dipper’s did when he wasn’t wearing a hat, although his usual brown shade had been swapped for a light bleach-blonde that would make the entirety of Sev’ral Timez weep with envy.

Despite the similar physical features—the mysterious person’s fashion sense differed from Dipper’s in every way. Rather than the casual shirt, vest and hat combo that Dipper wore on a regular basis, the person was dressed in a black jacket and pants, bow tie, yellow button up—an unusually fancy outfit for someone who might’ve just fallen out of a tree in the middle of the woods.

“What’s wrong, Pumpkin?”

Drawing her gaze from the body, Mabel looked up to see Stan approaching her with a curious look. “I think someone fell out of one of the trees,” she explained. “I heard a loud thump, and saw them lying here. I think they might be a kid—”

“What’s going on over here, dudes?”

Stan turned to see Ford and Soos coming up behind him, a skateboard tucked safely under Soos’ arm. “I was just gonna wait until everyone was at the half-pipe ramp,” Soos explained. “Dipper said Mabel was looking for something, and I’m in no rush.”

He flashed a grin in Stan’s direction. “Even if I’d love to get to the inside part of the tour as soon as possible, you are gonna flip when you see it, Mr. Pines—”

“What’s wrong, Stanley?” Ford asked, echoing his brother’s earlier question.

“Accordin’ to Mabel, some kid fell out of a tree or something,” Stan said, with a look to Soos. “What, you’re just lettin’ kids climb in the trees around here now? You lookin’ to get sued by some Patsy or Jane with straight bangs and a failing marriage that she insists on makin’ everyone else’s business?”

Soos innocently raised his hands. “I didn’t let anyone do anything, I swear! Maybe he was part of the last tourist group of the day and got separated from them before they left? Haven’t had any parents show up looking for a lost kid, though.”

“Either way, we should probably call 911.” 

Ford knelt down beside Mabel and pressed two fingers to the unknown child’s neck. “Well, they have a pulse so they’re probably alive,” he said, then pulled his hand back. “Of course, a lack of pulse doesn’t rule out the possibility of them being undead. But if they did fall out of a tree, they could possibly have a concussion. So either way, it’s a concern.”

“Well, let’s hope you don’t have to rip out the spine of this one,” Stan said.

While they conversed, Mabel gingerly placed a hand on the kid’s shoulder and gave it a light shake. “Hello? Are you alright?”

There was no response, so she tried again with a bit more force. “Hey, kid, I hope you know that you just fell out of the sky!” she said with a bit more urgency. “Which is probably not out of the norm for kids in Gravity Falls, but still, it’s a little worrying!”

The child remained still for a moment more—

—before their body began to tremble with a quiet chuckle. A quiet chuckle that slowly morphed into a full-on laugh.

Any relief that might’ve started building inside Mabel was snuffed out in an instant as the laughter—that cold, cruel laughter—only grew more vocal, and sent her crawling backwards in a panic as the body slowly rose up from the ground and turned to face her.

Now that Mabel got a better look at his face, the similarities to her brother were so clearly skin deep. Their aforementioned features were the same as before, but Dipper never smiled in a way that revealed all of his teeth and gums at once, like a young child being told to smile for the first time in front of a camera.

Dipper’s limbs weren’t quite as gangly and limp as the other boy’s, like a marionette being controlled by an inexperienced puppeteer who hadn’t mastered the art of making their body move naturally.

And Dipper’s eyes weren’t that terrifying, familiar shade of jaundice yellow, complete with slitted, catlike pupils that bore deep, deep into her very being.

“Grunkle Ford!”

Her panicked shout—one that spilled out of her on complete instinct before she could even process what she was saying—was far from necessary. Ford had completely frozen when the laughter had started, features aghast and grim as he stared at the child, as that wicked, horrible laughter droned on and on—

CRACK!

And suddenly the laughter was silenced, and the same sound of a body hitting a ground as before drew Mabel’s attention back to reality.

The child was unconscious again, now with a decent sized welt on the back of his head. And beside him stood Wendy, the bat from before in hand and her body hunched over while she tried to catch her breath. “Saw…saw what was happening,” she explained between sharp gulps of air. “Heard the laughing. Panicked…”

The only sound to break the silence that followed for a few seconds was the faint rustling of the wind through the trees, until a pair of approaching footsteps against the dirt drew everyone’s heightened attention towards the sound in a panic. 

Much like the others had done, Melody and Dipper were approaching the group from the direction of the half-pipe. Upon seeing their petrified expressions, Melody held up her hands. “Woah, woah, hey, what’s going on?”

From beside her, Dipper lifted up something he was clutching tightly in his hands—one of the discarded planks of wood from the Manotaur’s stage. “I heard Mabel yell and saw Wendy run over here with her bat,” Dipper added. “Thought it’d probably be smart to grab a weapon, too—”

“Get a rope.”

Ford didn’t tear his gaze from the body as he responded in a low tone, as if it would vanish the moment he looked away. As if he, or everything around him, would shatter in an instant if he dared tear his attention away from the body that had previously been letting out that horrible, horrible laughter. 

The laughter that had haunted his dreams for four decades, the laughter still bouncing off the inside of his skull, even after Wendy had silenced the source.

When he didn’t elaborate further, Dipper looked to one of the other adults for an explanation—

“You heard him! Get a rope!”

It was Stan who replied next, and actually spun to face them with a grim expression. “A rope, chains…if it can be used to tie someone up, then get it!”

“It’s code yellow, Melody,” Wendy said quickly. “Soos, do we still got that unicorn-hair rope?”

“Same place as it always is,” Soos said, and looked to Melody. “Come on, we need to hurry—I’ll get the moonstones, you fetch the mercury.”

Recognizing their urgency, Melody looked to the unconscious body on the ground. “...That’s him, then?”

“Did you hear me, I said get a rope!”

It was Ford who spoke again, tone more demanding as he finally tore his gaze from the body to glare at them. “If I have to say it a third time—”

“Oh, okay, yeah, that answers that question,” Melody said quickly, and gestured for the rest of them to follow. “Alright, there’s a rope and a chair to tie him to in the shack. But who’s gonna—”

“I’ve got it.”

Letting the bat clatter to the ground, Wendy scruffed the unconscious child by the back of his jacket and hoisted him up into the air. “Let’s get him inside.”

With mild chaos, the group hurried towards the Shack with the unconscious child in hand. Leaving the bat, Mabel’s unfortunately-missed blob of blue poster tack lying several yards away, and the remaining exhibit displays abandoned as the first real hints of night began to peek their way through the tops of the trees.

[echo-goes-mmm]

Kitty Elliot AU #7

Masterpost

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Warnings: mild fantasy racism 

Ambrose watched Elliot lap up some oatmeal. 

“Don’t you want a spoon?” he asked.

Elliot looked up, licking a bit of breakfast off his lip. He blinked, and went back to eating.

“Well, if you’re sure,” shrugged Ambrose. He sipped on his tea, enjoying the fresh air of the morning. He had opened the window, and the lovely spring day had him in high spirits.

He glanced back at Elliot, who was licking the bowl clean. There was a scar on the bridge of his nose, and the leather of his collar was dirty and cracked. He was still wearing Ambrose’s old shirt and boxers.

“How do you feel about getting new clothes?”

Elliot’s eyes narrowed slightly, and he tilted his head in a way that asked ‘why?’.

“Well, you can’t wear just a shirt and underwear all the time. I don’t have enough spare clothes for you even if you did.”

Elliot didn’t look very happy, but he nodded anyway. 

“And… maybe we could take off that collar?”

Elliot looked away, his hand coming up to his throat. Ambrose couldn’t understand his attachment to it.

“Doesn’t it bother you?”

Elliot’s ears swiveled back in shame, and Ambrose felt bad for bringing it up. Maybe Elliot was just used to it and didn’t like change, or maybe he liked it in the first place.

It wasn’t right. Catfolk weren’t animals, they were people. They weren’t like Elliot.

No one was like Elliot. 

Elliot didn’t talk. Elliot didn’t like wearing much clothing. Elliot didn’t sit at the table to eat. Elliot didn’t want to be touched.

Elliot wore a collar.

“You don’t have to take it off if you don’t want to.”

A piece of leather wasn’t going to hurt him, and if Elliot wanted it, Ambrose wasn’t going to force him.

___________________

Elliot hopped up on the windowsill, settling in for a nice doze in the sunlight. True, he had just woken up, but sleep was always welcome.

Master was going shopping. He said he would be back in a few hours, and that meant peace for just as long. 

The bell rang as the door to the inn opened, and his tail flicked in annoyance. So much for a nap.

“Hey cat,” said James, slamming the door behind him. The loud sound hurt his ears, and Elliot winced. “Where’s Ambrose?”

He pointed at the door. 

“Out, huh?”

Elliot tucked his arm back in and nodded. 

“Perfect.”

James turned towards the kitchen, and Elliot watched, his ears rotated to the side. He didn’t like James. 

He could just go up to the room he slept in and wait for Master to come back, but the windows there didn’t face the sun.

Dishes clattered in the kitchen, the noise irritating but compelling. What was James up to in Master’s kitchen?

Maybe he’d just stay downstairs to keep an eye on things.

___________________

James sat at a table, drinking an ale and helping himself to a hearty brunch. Elliot wasn’t sure if that was allowed, so he did nothing.

“So,” James said, chewing some bacon. “Was your mom a human and your dad a cat or something?”

Elliot narrowed his eyes.

“What?” James said with a grin. “It’s just a joke. I know that’s not how it works.”

He flicked his tail in irritation.

“I mean, it would suck if it did.” He took another sip of ale. “Cause cats only live for like ten years, ya know?”

James waited for him to respond, but Elliot looked away. He refused to humor the idea.

“Gods, you really don’t say much, huh? Or are you just too animal to talk?”

Elliot shook his head, staring out the window. He could speak, but…

“Whatever,” James said. Elliot heard him pick up his dishes. He startled when a rough hand landed between his ears.

Elliot turned, baring his teeth, and James yanked his hand away. A hiss slipped from his mouth before he could stop it.

“Yeesh,” James muttered, “so touchy.”

The fur on his tail stood on end, an itchy unease tingling up his spine.

James went to wash his dishes, and Elliot manually smoothed his fur to try and chase away the feeling.

The front door opened again, and Elliot turned to see that it was Master. He had shopping bags in his hands, and a smile on his face.

Was that good or bad? He couldn’t decide.

The sound of running water cut off, and James stepped out from the back.

“Hey boss,” he said. “Was wondering where you were.”

Master frowned. “It’s Monday, James. We’re closed.”

“Oh yeah,” James said with a smile. “I forgot.”

“Hm. I hope you weren’t waiting long.”

“Nope,” James lied. “I just got here. I guess I’ll head out then.”

Elliot narrowed his eyes, his tail swishing. Had James come in just to steal some brunch and leave? 

“Right… I’ll see you tomorrow.” Master let James pass by and out the door, and Elliot was relieved to see him gone.

___________________

Ambrose set the bags on a nearby table.

“I bought you some shorts,” he said, pulling out a pair. “They’re only a little longer than the boxers, so I hope they’re comfortable for you.”

He held a pair out to Elliot, who sniffed them. He traced a finger over the soft cotton, looking up at Ambrose.

“You like them? I got some shirts in the same fabric, and more undergarments.”

Elliot nodded, still tracing over the fabric.

“Would you like to change now?”

The catboy withdrew back into the windowsill, shaking his head. He looked small, and afraid, and Ambrose felt stupid for suggesting he strip down. 

His eyes landed on the filthy collar on Elliot’s neck.

“I, uh, got you a present, too,” he said, turning to rifle through the bags. He pulled the wooden box out, and offered it to Elliot.

Elliot gingerly took the box, his hands following the grain. His eyes were wide, and his ears twitched.

“Go on,” Ambrose encouraged. “Open it.”

Elliot gently pulled the lid off, and his tail trembled at the sight. 

___________________

A soft black collar sat in the box.

It was new, brand new, and he could smell the polish and leather. There was a small steel ring in front with a metal tag.

He turned it over. Elliot, it read.

A nametag. A real nametag, and it was beautiful.

“Do you like it?” Master asked above him, and he could only nod. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes.

“Would you like me to put it on for you?” Master said in a soft voice, and Elliot wiped his eyes, nodding.

Master carefully undid his old collar, tugging it free of the buckle. The missing weight felt odd, and for a moment he was afraid.

But soon the new collar- a new collar!- fastened around his neck. It was slightly heavier than the old one, but Elliot didn’t care.

His eyes fluttered shut, letting the weight of his collar settle. It felt so much nicer than the old one.

A purr stuttered out of his chest, rusty from disuse. He doused it quickly, and checked Master’s face to see if he was angry.

“I’m really glad you like it,” Master said, smiling. Did he not mind the noise?

Tentatively, he let himself relax and purr, and Master did nothing.

“Could I-?” Master gestured, and his hand came close-

Elliot flinched.

___________________

He should have known better. Elliot’s purring stopped, and the look on his face made Ambrose’s heart hurt.

He pulled away, dropping his hand.

“Is there anything specific you want for lunch?” he asked, hoping, but Elliot was silent.

Of course he was.

Maybe next time.

“Right. I’ll go put your clothes upstairs,” he said, stepping away from the windowsill.

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