#yk if october was a time of change for me

[noxtivagus]

november huh

[princeofyorkshire]

i like occasionally coming back here and having no knowledge of what louis is up to tbh. it feels like coming to visit your old school to see your friends

[yohankang]

i take a week off and suddenly feel the need to change my entire life 💀

[beachylupin]

hiya darling i saw your requests open and i just love love loved "i'd have you anytime" so i wanted to request a lil smth

Basically remus x artist reader....

I like to really draw the people i like (love) so my sketchbook is just filled with people whom i sometimes have a crush on or friends or family.

So i was thinkin, mutual pining where reader basically isn't very close to the marauders per say but knows them, acquaintances.

So reader draws a lot and i mean a LOT of remus in her sketchbook, like almost as if the sketchbook is made for him.

And one of the marauders (defo sirius) discovers this and obv tells remus and it's a whole fiasco but please end it w fluff?

Oh and ofc remus really likes reader aswell but just yk never says anything...

So yea thanks love :) i love the wya you write <33

listen, you've inspired me so much that i wrote this in a day. talk about a great turn around rate, eh? ;-D i really, really hope you enjoy this!! it's really just gushy word vomit on a screen <3 word count: 3k warnings: quickly edited, swearing, pining, fluffy, missing a private journal is stressful, happy ending!!

Sketched Out || Remus Lupin x Fem!Artist!Reader

You didn’t mean for it to end up like this. You caught a glimpse of him on the train at the beginning, and he had occupied your thoughts since.

Sure, you had known him and been in classes for years, but he had changed since you last saw him. Last year, he was tall and lanky, but now he was tall, lanky, and a wee bit broader, filling out his grandpa sweaters better. His buzz cut had grown out, revealing sandy brown curls. Who knew Remus Lupin had curls?

Daily, you watched Remus Lupin from the Hufflepuff table, busily drawing what you saw. In the classes you shared, you secretly sat behind him to draw just the back of his head, figuring out why his hair curled like that. Instead of taking notes, you drew. When you sat across from him, you’d find yourself distracted by the way he looked, paying more attention to him than to any old teacher.

New scars, patterned sweaters with messy robes, and smile lines from laughing at whatever stupid things James and Sirius were on about filled your pages.

By mid-October, at least fifty pages of your sketchbook was just him.

It was like your dirty little secret hidden under yellow leather.

Head down, you followed the group of Gryffindors down the corridor, your books laying haphazardly in your arms, when someone was shoved, flying into you.

“Oh!” You exclaimed, books and notebooks going flying in all directions.

“Sorry, love!” Sirius exclaimed, scrambling to pick your things up. “Didn’t mean to check ya!”

“It’s alright,” you mumbled, collecting the scatter of books, notebooks, quills, and firecrackers that had spilled from Sirius’ hands.

In the mix of the crowd rushing to classes, you exchanged the books and notebooks with Sirius.

“Hey, thanks!” He said, smiling brightly as he shoved the firecrackers in his pocket. “I’m happy these didn’t go off.”

You smiled tightly and nodded. “No problem,” you mumbled, getting shoved into him by someone passing by.

He steadied you then shouted, “Hey!” after them, throwing up a lewd gesture. “Are you alright?”

You nodded, smiling briefly.

“Good,” he said, checking his pocket watch. “Shit, I’m late.” He snapped the watch closed before taking off. “I’m sorry again!” He called to you over shoulder, running into yet another person. “Sorry!”

You smiled a tight lipped smile before walking away briskly to get to your class across the castle.

Potions was in the dungeons, and you slid your usual seat behind Remus, who was already there and sitting next to Peter, just in time, the door closing with a thud.

Glancing up at the back of his head, you sighed. His hood was wonky, and his hair had grown since you last drew him at this angle. You rifled through your things, searching for your sketchbook.

But it was missing.

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, tucking your hair behind your ears.

You checked the books again, hoping you had just misplaced it in the stack. You checked under the table, seeing nothing except a lost boomslang skin.

You sighed, trying to calm yourself. Maybe you had left it in your dorm room and forgot? That couldn’t be. You had all your books, including your sketchbook, at the house table before class. 

You opened your potions book. The color drained from your face.

Sirius Orion Black, 1977 was scrawled on the front page along with the rest of the people who had checked out the classroom copy of this book.

Sirius had your potions book, and you knew for certain he had your sketchbook.

Feeling woozy, you let your head hit the table.

Sirius had your sketchbook filled with drawings of his best friend.

You thought you were going to throw up, a leaden feeling filling your belly. Squeezing your tear-pricked eyes shut, you lifted your head with your hands on your face.

“Hey, are you alright?” A muffled voice asked, and you peeked behind your fingers, staring your muse right in the face. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“Or cry,” Peter said, but you didn’t pay any attention to him.

“‘M fine,” you mumbled, taking your hands from your face to get the full picture of him.

Remus, his brown eyes full of worry, was staring at you, and all you wanted to do was take a mental snapshot so that you could sketch it when you got your sketchbook back. 

If you got your sketchbook back.

“Did you forget your quill?” He asked, glancing at the table. “We’re revising today.”

You swallowed thickly, glancing at the table as well, no quill to be found. You nodded, looking back at him to find him already staring.

“I have extras,” he said, turning from you to reach in his bag. He grabbed one, as well as an ink pot, handing them to you. “Here.”

Your hand shook as you took it, smiling tightly. “Thank you,” you mumbled.

Remus’ gaze stayed on your hand, his brow furrowing again. “Are you sure you’re alright?” You nodded, staring down at your book. “Did you forget parchment?”

“No, I’m fine,” you lied. You thought your heart was going to beat right out of your chest. Trying to play it cool, you huffed, rolling your eyes. “Just revisions, you know?” 

“You always do just fine,” Remus said, smiling. It was your turn to furrow your eyebrows. How would he know that? “I’ve seen the grades you get on them. I mean, you got an outstanding on your garrotting gas revision.”

You shrugged as soon as Professor Slughorn stood in front of the class. He called attention, and Remus threw you one last reassuring smile before turning around.

The class period went by slowly, and without your sketchbook, you actually had to try and take notes. But you couldn’t. Your sketchbook was quite literally in the hands of your worst nightmare: the most curious person you knew.

You knew well that curious minds stuck together and always thought alike.

You burst into the corridor after class was over, desperately looking for Sirius. You knew he just had to be coming back this way. You knew him well enough to know that he had quidditch practice next, just like James, who had been wearing his seeker robes all day.

You spotted him, hopping on one foot and fixing his knee pad as he walked next to said seeker.

“Hi,” you said shakily as you approached him. “I accidentally took your potions book-”

Sirius dropped his foot, a surprised look gracing his face. “I was wondering why mine had drawings in the margins!” 

You took a deep breath, gnawing on your lip slightly before hurriedly saying, “Did you happen to take anything of mine?”

“Sorry?” he asked as if he couldn’t hear you.

You swallowed, trying again. “I-It has a dark yellow cover? Leather. First page is blank.” Intentionally, you thought to yourself. You held up your hands. “About this big?”

He exchanged a look with James then shook his head. “Didn’t see it. I can check my books when I get back to my dorm, though.”

You sighed shakily. “O-okay,” you said, sighing again. “If you find it-”

“I’m sure I’ll bump into you again,” Sirius said, nudging you. You didn’t react, so he cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’ll get it back to you.”

“Thank you,” you said pointedly, glancing at James before walking away.

The whole situation sketched you out, and all you could do was hope they didn’t look at it.

“I wonder if she’s any good,” Sirius said, sitting criss-crossed on his bed, staring at the sketchbook. “She seemed… protective.”

“We could always take just a peek,” James suggested. His bed was pulled right against Sirius’ as he was laid on his stomach, heels of his hands supporting his head. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

“I’ll look,” Peter offered. His bed was on the opposite side, but he laid on his side, eyeing the book. “I’ve always wondered what that book is. She never puts it down in potions.”

“We’re not opening it,” Remus sighed, not taking his eyes off the page of his book. “That’s fucked up. It’s like a private journal.”

“Full of drawings,” Sirius stated, crossing his arms. “It’s different.”

“It’s not any different.” Remus dropped his book, huffing as he sat up, “Would you like it if she read through your journals and rifled through your sketchbooks?”

“Well, no, actually,” James answered for Sirius, sitting up. “I wouldn’t mind at all.”

“That’s because all it says is, ‘Lily, Lily, Lily. Why doesn’t Lily love me?’” Remus caught the pillow thrown at his face, throwing it back at James. “Am I wrong?”

“It’s all it says,” Peter said, shielding his face from another one of James’ pillows. “I’ve read it,” he mouthed, but James saw.

“Hey!” He gasped, throwing yet another pillow.

“Give it here,” Remus said, getting up to cross the room. Sirius grabbed it off his bed, holding it to his chest.

“No,” he said immaturely, as if he was a little brother. “I don’t think I will.”

“Seriously, mate,” Remus said, his hand outstretched as soon as he stood at the foot of the bed. “Come on.”

“You’d want to look through someone else’s things,” Sirius said, angling his body away from Remus. “You just don’t want us to look at it because you like her.”

“So what if I do?” Remus shrugged, not caring about his obvious crush. “It’s not right.”

“What if you’re in there?” James asked, his eyebrows raising. “What then?”

His eyebrows furrowed to badly hide his flushing cheeks. “I wouldn’t be-”

The three boys guawaffed loudly. 

“Are you kidding me?!” Peter called, sitting straight up. “Mate.”

“Don’t be stupid, Remus,” Sirius groaned, throwing the sketchbook on the bed. “She never stops looking at you.”

Remus’ heart beat loudly in his ears. “Really?” This was news to him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” James asked rhetorically, grabbing the sketchbook from where it bounced to him. He began thumbing through the pages absentmindedly. “She’s looking at you almost as much as you’re looking at her…” His voice trailed off as he slid his glasses off to the top of his head.

“James-” Remus warned, reaching to grab the sketchbook.

“No, hold on a minute,” James said, slapping his hand away as he showed Sirius. Peter peeked over Sirius’ shoulder, taking a look. The three looked at him in unison, glancing at the sketchbook then at him again.

“What?!” Remus asked, reaching for the sketchbook again, but Sirius grabbed it, looking at it closer.

“It’s you,” Sirius said, meeting his friend’s eyes.

“What?” Remus asked, feeling his heartbeat go quiet. For all he knew it could’ve stopped.

“It’s you!” Peter said, snatching the sketchbook from Sirius and shoving it toward Remus. “She even got the scar on your nose just right.”

James slid his glasses over his eyes as Remus took the sketchbook, his eyes wide.

“Did you know you have a mole on your cheek?” He asked, poking at his own. “Right there? She got that too.”

Remus stared in awe at the drawing in front of him. There was no denying that it was a sketch of him, in all his broody likeness. He was standing in the aisle of the train, leaning against a frame of a cabin door. His arms were crossed over his sweater clad chest, pushed slightly up due to the still-hot September sun.

He could remember that moment. James was on the lookout for Lily, so he dragged Remus into the aisle, wanting someone else to help watch. Remus stood across from him, a scowl ever present on his face. He just wanted to sit after the change two days ago, but instead he stood, hoping Lily would pass sooner rather than later.

As he looked, he saw you sitting, just in the cabin behind James’ left side. You looked like you were reading a book, your head leaning up against the window. He smiled to himself, admiring how you were still in your “muggle” clothes. You glanced at him, but Remus was sure to look away in time, readjusting his scowl and ignoring how the tips of his ears burned red.

Remus shook the memory from his head and quickly shut the sketchbook, holding it out to Sirius. “You better give it back to her.”

Sirius scoffed, taking it. He thumbed through the pages and scoffed again. He stood on his knees at the edge of his bed, pushing it into Remus’ chest. “I think you should give it back to her. You’re in every damn picture.”

Remus’ eyes widened as he took it back, opening it again. He turned each page carefully, his face turning redder and redder the further he went on.

“I thought you said it was fucked up to look through people’s things?” It was James’ turn to be a little brother. Remus threw him a glare.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, shutting the sketchbook. He held it up. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Give it back to her?” Peter suggested, earning a middle finger.

“Give it back to her and tell her you like her,” James suggested earnestly. Remus sighed, staring at the cover of the book. “Your journal is full of her, mate. We all know-”

“James!” Remus shouted as Peter snickered.

“Look,” Sirius said, finally getting off his bed. He clapped an arm around Remus’ shoulder. “She obviously likes you, and you obviously like her. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“Yeah,” Remus mumbled. He slipped the sketchbook in his pocket. “Yeah, cheers.”

Sirius got back on his bed as Remus turned his back, walking back towards his bed. He paused, turning around slightly.

“Don’t say anything,” he said, enunciating every word as he specifically made sure to catch each of their eyes. “Please.”

Sirius dramatically put a fist of his heart. “Marauder’s honor.” The other two nodded in agreement.

“Thank you,” Remus said pointedly then turned around, climbing into his bed and shutting the curtains.

You stayed awake all night, staring at the ceiling.

If the boys had gone through it, which you knew they most definitely had, you were never going to live it down. Any semblance of a so-called friendship would be gone.

Worst of all, they were going to make fun of you.

And the self-coined Marauders didn’t take poking fun lightly.

You squeezed your eyes shut, wishing to just disappear.

Remus hardly slept either, staring at the curtain of his bed all night long. The snoring was evident that everyone else had slept except for him.

He had to talk to you today. He had to give the sketchbook back to you. Whether or not he’d say anything about the contents? He hadn’t decided. The idea of it made his palms sweat.

Remus got up long before anyone else in his room did, wanting to avoid any of the boyish hazing he would’ve gotten otherwise. Feeling bold, he got dressed and started his way down to the Hufflepuff barrels to meet you right away.

This was a pressing matter he had to get out of the way instantly.

You rubbed your eyes, yawning as you climbed out of the barrel holes, your hair braided half-heartedly. You looked like a mess, your face pale and your eyebags dark.

“Hey!” Remus called your name, emerging from the corner of the walled off corridor. You turned to face him, suddenly not feeling tired anymore. “I have this for you!”

Your heart dropped. Your sketchbook.

You took two giant steps toward him and grabbed the sketchbook, your eyes wide as you seemingly turned paler. You clutched it to your chest, mumbling, “Thanks.”

Remus cleared his throat as his cheeks tinged pink. “You’re really good at drawing,” he said.

The woozy feeling came back. “You saw?”

He nodded, his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I’m so sorry,” you burst out, trying to hand Remus the sketchbook. “You can burn it, alright? Or just- just destroy all the drawings or whatever you want. I don’t need it anymore, okay? I’m sorry. It was weird, I- I know, but I’m really-”

“No! I’m sorry!” Remus said, his hand meeting your shoulder with a gentle squeeze. “Don’t do that. They’re really well done.”

“What?” You asked breathily, the color rejoining your face in a tomato-y bloom.

“You got the likeness of me down pat,” he said, smiling. Honestly smiling.

“What?”

He quirked an eyebrow, taking the sketchbook from your hand. He opened up to one as if he memorized the page it was on.

It was one of your favorites. 

Both you and Remus happened to be in the same class for Astrology. It was night, and he was staring at the sky, ignoring everything that Professor Adair was saying. You were also ignoring everything the professor was saying, sketching Remus’ profile instead.

“This looks like me,” he said, handing you the book as he pointed. “My hair, my nose, my mouth. I honestly don’t know how you captured me like that.”

He was being too kind. Your heart dropped as you took it away, clutching it to your chest again.

“Are you making fun of me?” You asked earnestly.

“What? No! Oh my god, no! I’m being- I’m flattered!” Your expression still looked pained. He sighed, backing away slightly, still smiling. “Do you want to come to Honeydukes with me this weekend?”

“What?” You asked, causing Remus’ smile to grow.

“I think you need your ears cleaned out,” he teased, handing the sketchbook back to you. “Honeydukes? This weekend? I think it’d be fun if you and I went.”

“Are you being serious?” You asked, taken aback.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” he asked, smiling as he shook his head. “Please? It’d be fun! You can read my journal as payback.”

“I’ll go,” You said, a shy smile appearing. “I don’t need to read your journal though.”

“Why not?” Remus shrugged. “It’s all about you anyway.”

“Oh.”

[tarasmithshifts]

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐑: 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑. 2 years😭 𝐀𝐆𝐄. 16-17 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏: sirius, remus, james, lily, peter, dorcas, marlene, mainly people from gryffindor and ravenclaw

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒. single (5th to the end of 5th year) TAKEN BAHSDHABHAHDB (summer after 5th year - ongoing)

「 ✦ 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 ✦ 」

okay guys.

this is it. THIS SHIFT IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE. i have so many things to tell about this shift 😭😭😭 so let's get started because this one will be looooooooooooong

i shifted for 2 YEARSSSS WHICH IS SO INSANE like, it's my longest shift ever 😭 the shift is taking place since summer before 5th year to the beginning of 7th

「 ✦ 5th year ✦ 」

𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 - 5𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻

so, as you probably know what happened during 5th year, i'm gonna tell you my scripted timeline.

august - the nightmare in the noble house of black

october - me, james, sirius became illegal animagus

beginning of december - peter became illegal animagus

may- 'the prank' happened

june - snape worst memory (as i read that it happened AFTER the prank)

june- i confessed my feelings to remus

july - sirius ran away to james

august - I ran away to remus, as walburga used crucius on me as a punishment

ＪＵＬＹ ＆ ＡＵＧＵＳＴ

— ୨୧₊˚ the nightmare in the noble house of black

living in this house wasn't the greatest experience ever 💀 and this summer was literally one of the worst since our beginning of learning in hogwarts. this summer was the first one that walburga used cruciatus on me and sirius. it was kind of torture, also, I hoped that reggie would say something, but he did nothing to stop our parents from doing this shit. ( it wasn't easy, but we still had james, remus, peter to send letters to. during this summer for the first time i thought of running away from this family. but i didn't want to leave regulus, and, even if i run away, where would i go? i didn't have truly anyone, and i didn't want to bother other marauders ( i mean remus especially, he was the closest friend of mine)) she did this because we didn't want to join their lord voldemort kind of cult. sirius and i knew that regulus won't say no to them. we knew that in some time, he''ll become a death eater. as war started in 1970, a lot of muggles where dead, as well as wizards. our parents weren't in voldemort' group, but they were conviced, that voldemort is doing the right thing. before the first day of 5th year, walburga was extra angry. (basically i told her to fuck off of me and sirius. we were abused for years, as this would change anything. we were in gryffindor, i had a friend that was muggle-born, we were friends with potter. nothing would change after their torture on us - emotionally or physically. i mean, this one pissed her off. she locked herself and me in one of the rooms we usually didn't use and you can imagine what happened - this part i have scripted off, as i 'don't remember what happened' i love angst in my drs BUT NOT THIS 💀💀 hell no, i'm not gonna be through more pain) i scripted that sirius knows what happened

ＳＥＰＴＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ 1st day

in the train me and sirius found a cabin as fast as possible, as i wasn't stron enough to walk around the train after the night before yk

we sat, and i kind of fell asleep?? i mean, i was just so tired that i kept my eyes shut the whole way to hogwarts. ten minutes after james, remus, and peter joined us. i didn't say hi or anything, just nodded my head and said something like 'gentelman' LMAO remus sat in front of me and tried to make some eye contact with me, tried to cheer me up, but i was to tired to react. Sirius also changed during this summer. We were both diffrent. boys saw that, james started to ask some questions like "Are you alright?" "How are you?", but sirius cut them and just said "Please, can we pretend like this is normal first day?" GUYS. AND THEN REMUS MOVED HIS LEG CLOSER TO MINE. as some kind of sign that he's sorry, even tho he didn't know what happened. IT WAS SUCH A CUTE INTERACTION AHHHHHHH

well, nothing really happened this month. we were just joking around, and we took care of remus when there was a full moon coming. lily and I became even clloser this time. She knew that i liked remus A LOT but she tried to stay out of this business (haha, she DID NOT. literally because of her i confessed my feeling for remus before him)

i knew that she didn't like what boys were doing with severus, but i did not say 'stop' when they were doing it. i never truly cared until may and june.

also lily and remus became prefects.

ＯＣＴＯＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ me, james and sirius became illegal animaguses

hello!!!!!! WAKE UPPP it's the month when me and marauders FINALLY became animaguses!!!!!!!!!! HELL YEAH

so basically we of course didn't know if the whole 'let's become and animagus' plan is gonna work. it was truly crazy that we did it. well, we didn't show remus anything at first, because peter didn't turn into one at first (he became one in december). My animagus happened to be a black puma, sirius turned into black dog, and james turned into a fucking stag, which was so hilarious like IMAGINE SEEING A HUGE RED STAG COMING OUT OF YOUR BATHROOM

(my animagus right here) ⤸

this was literally so funny, we couldn't believe it. only peter failed first time, but he eventually turned into animagus in december :))

i mean, during the first few months, nothing really happened. boys where doing pranks, me and lily were doing 'girl stuff' as james called it. i also spent a lot of time with remus, and i liked to do it a lot. we both have similar hobbys, and we just liked to spend time with each other. it was fascinating for me. he was fascinating. after this little intreraction we had back on train, something was diffrent between us. i mean, something weird was going on between us for literal years.

ＮＯＶＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ mine and sirius' birthday

and here it is. november. it was the time of the year that i tried to figure out how should we convince remus that we became animaguses for him, and that with this 'skill' we want to help him. we knew that he will say no for this idea, but we were determinated. so we started planning how we want to tell him about the whole 'omg remus look, i'm animagus!' thing. in november, james started to look after lily again. he wanted her to notice him, as me & boys knew he was not obsessed, but he was just in love with her, since early age. but i knew that lily doesn't want to has anything to do with him. well, not for now. he wasn't nice for her friend, severus. she cared about him, he was her closest friend, they knew each other even before hogwarts. so i understood why she was mad at james and ignored him.

੭ ME AND SIRIUS TURNED 16!!! we had a party in gryffindor common room, as we always did. every year we had some kind of party, but this one was HUGE. sirius wanted it to be special for both of us, so he invited people from hufflepuff and ravenclaw that we knew. from james and peter i got CDs and t-shirts of my fav band at the time - Fleetwood Mac and ABBA when i asked them how did they get it, they told me that they stole it LMAO sirius got me some perfumes that he knew i liked. BUT REMUS. oh. my. god.

when party was super loud, a lot of people (i mean james, peter nd sirius mainly) were drunk, i was standing by the wall, just drinking coke and talking to lily. then remus came up to us and asked if he can 'kidnap me' i was... kind of shocked. i said 'yes, of course.' so he asked me to close my eyes and he gave me a bandana, that probably belonged to sirius and covered my eyes, and he told me to go after him. he literally HOLD MY HAND and took me out of the common room. i knew it because he told me to 'be careful' and after the whole screams and party noices vanished. for few minutes we were just walking around the castle, when he finally took the bandana off, and told me to open my eyes.

HE. MADE. GODDAMN. PICNIC. ON. AN. ASTRONOMY TOWER.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? LET ME SAY THIS ONCE AGAIN

HE. MADE. GODDAMN. PICNIC. ON. AN. ASTRONOMY TOWER.

my heart.

he even got this magical vinyl player (i think that in the movie prisoner of azkaban you can see something like this) AND PLAYED DAVID BOWIE

it was SOOOO BEAUTIFUL the weather was perfect, he even tried to apologise me that he didn't have anything else for me, THIS WAS THE BEST PRESENT EVER. we were just sitting, listening to music and eating snacks. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, and i can confirm, that THIS WAS THE TIME THAT I WAS SURE THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH REMUS FREAKING LUPIN

ＤＥＣＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ peter became illegal animagus

christmas time!!! finally!!!

during past like 3,4 months there was a lot of work to do - me and boys became animaguses, school wasn't the best thing too. i liked most of the classes, but herbology was kiling me. i just UGHHH i don't like magical plants ok? i just can't work with plants even in my cr, sooooo it is what it is. for extra classes i took magical theory and study of ancient runes, as i always found it interesting. 5th year is the year when in hogwarts i needed to pass OWLs to get into another year. i wanted to become an auror, so i had a lot of work anyway.

charms and DADA were the easiest classes for me. i even tought peter and james after classes, as sirius was too lazy to do that, and remus was good at it too.

also peter finally became an illegal animagus, so all of us were able to change our form. and finally, we decided how we would tell remus about the whole thing. as a christmas gift (james came up with that and we all thought that this is a good idea)

— ୨୧₊˚ before christmas

CHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE

I LOVE CHRISTMAS AT HOGWARTS it's always so beautiful

me and sirius, as well as remus stayed at hogwarts during christmas.

but before james and peter left, we had a little surprise for remus

we planned the whole thing to be perfect in every detail. we had to do it in secret, of course which was kind of almost impossible. it was christmas time, everyone was giving others present, dormitory was FULL of people, somebody wanted to talk, or somebody wanted to give you presents. lily even locked herself in our dormitory to hide FROM JAMES LMAO

but finally we all got a moment when boys could hide in their dormitory, there transform into animagi and i could go and ask remus if he can go after me. it happened on 16.12.75, two days before full moon.

WELL, HE WAS IN SHOCK.

when we got in, first sirius came out as a black dog, and remus didn't know wth is going on, then peter showed up AND THEN JAMES CAME OUT OF A BATHROOM AS A STAG. i just said "well, we knew that you would protest if we told you, soooo we've done that in secret. we want to help you remus" HE WAS JUST STANDING THERE LIKE THIS 🕴🕴🕴 the only thing he said was "oh my god" then he turned to me and said "you too?" and i nodded. then boys turned into human form and james started talking why we did that, that we want to help remus during full moons, taking care of him and watching on him in shrieking shack. in animal form he wouldn't see human beings in us, just other animals. well, remus didn't like the idea. but we proved our right.

੭ 2 days later, when full moon came, we went after remus to whomping willow, and spent whole night with him. we took care that he wouldn't harm himself like he did before. and guess what? we were right. when he turned bck into a human form, we needed to go back to hogwarts before pomfrey would find us. when we met him at the hospital wing, he said that "on merlin's beard, you were right" and since then, we took turns, one time me and sirius spent time with him, once james and peter, other time just me, once me and james etc. and it was working!

— ୨୧₊˚ christmas

this year me and sirius didn't come back home for christmas, even tho' regulus tried to convince us, we said no. james, peter and lily went home, so me, sirius and remus were entirely alone. from gryffindor only we stayed in hogwarts. but we had fun!!

for christmas i got remus a moon calendar, as i know he didn't have one (i scripted that pomfrey was checking on moons then), so he could be warned about full moons coming. he was still kind of mad about us becoming animagi, but i knew that it wouldn't last long. he knew that no matter what we would help him, even if he said 'no'.

for sirius i contacted andromeda to send me new AC/DC album, so i got him a vinyl :)) (album is called T.N.T. and came out 1 december 1975 if you wonder!)

remus stayed because his father wasn't home anyways, so he just stayed at hogwarts

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ OKAY SO IM HERE TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING ABOUT LUPIN FAMILY LOREEE

okay. about mother of remus (hope lupin) i scripted that yes, she's a muggle, she was an opera singer but died when remus was young boy. about his father - lyall lupin - he was a wizard, i scripted that he was in ravenclaw and worked in ministry of magic at department for the regulation and control of magical creatures, because of that he was usually very busy he left contry even for month, so yup :( and that he died during 1st war. i think that making remus' mother an opera singer was kind of beautiful, later on, during the war he listens to her records at 12 grimmuald place and at home that we live in :)) (i will make a playlist with music that she recorded/operas that she performed in)

okay that's all about his family, i will tell more in another post :))

ANYWAY let's get back!

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

— ୨୧₊˚ new year's eve

during new year's eve, me, sirius and remus went to astronomy tower as may students did, dumbledore told us that we can party and that we can go there, but he hoped we wouldn't do anything stupid. also, severus snape stayed that year at hogwarts, so of course sirius couldn't stop himself from doing something stupid. when he was trying to prank him, me and remus stayed at astronomy tower and looked at the stars, as well as we did back in november <333 we talked about how he should not be mad at us at accept the fact that we are trying to help him, and then we were stuck in some situation that was just... awkward. i mean, he said that he understand us and he knows that he won't stop us... but i mean, i wanted to kiss this man so badly. like GODDAMN HOW MANY MONTHS DO I NEED TO WAIT

it was cute until sirius came back out of nowhere at just stood behind us and said "ok, now kiss" LMAO it was so awkward

but we made it! we made it to 1976... which was CRAZY

ＪＡＮＵＡＲＹ, ＦＥＢＲＵＡＲＹ, ＭＡＲＣＨ ＡＮＤ ＡＰＲＩＬ

during these months, we were stuck on studying to OWLs, but what happened was some birthdays and full moons of course.

in january there was first full moon when sirius and peter was around remus when he transformed into a werewolf. sirius and james even made up cover names for us based on our animagi form.

james happened to be prongs, peter was wormtail, sirius was padfoot, i was fang, which i didn't like, but it stayed with me for years, and remus was moony. at first we both didn't like this, but when we started using those names it felt okay. so it stayed like this.

also, in january there was lily's birthday! i got her a silver necklace that she told me she wanted before summer '75, james of course wanted to ask her on a date, she of course said no :( but he still got her flowers and her favourite chocolates from hogsmeade :))

in february, on valentines day, he also was super crazy about her. he was just running around gryffindor common room, not knowing what should he get her, but finally sirius told him to 'calm yourself and try to talk to her like you aren't a psychopath" well, it didn't work either.

i also felt like i want to give something remus for valentines, but i was too scared to do anything 💀💀💀 so i just locked myself in a dormitory and stayed there for whole day, especially day later full moon was there, so remus also stayed for the whole saturday in his dormitory.

in february james and peter stayed with remus during full moon

in march and april nothing really happened, we were just studying for OWLs that were very close, but still james, pter, and sirius got a detention from mcgonagall after they blew up her office 💀💀💀 me and remus stayed out of this kind of business 💀 and thanks to god for that

in march me and james stayed with remus, in april - sirius and peter

ALSOOOO in march remus and james had their birthdays!!!

for remus i got a necklace that was sun-shaped, and i showed him, that i had similar one - but moon-shaped. and guess what HE WORE IT ALL THE TIME, WHENEVER HE COULD. i noticed it after some weeks but still. like, boys were making fun of him because of that, they even called him 'girlypop' LMAO it was funny sometimes, even for remus but some of the times he was so tired of this that he just told them to 'shut up' and then he just went away from them, sometimes to sit with me in common room, sometimes to library.

for james i had mini version of his broom that he owned. it could even fly around the room :)) there was also a party, we did only one but big one :))

AND HERE WE ARE.

ＭＡＹ

ekhm, ekhm, ekhm... prepare yourself

— ୨୧₊˚ the prank

the prank in my dr is... a crazy domino effect

let's start from the beginning, and let's get through this situation as SLOW as possible.

so,

⋆｡°✩┊3 days before the prank

remus felt more pain because of full moon than he ever did. he stayed in bed, because he didn't want to go to pomfrey, he didn't want to show his weakness at that moment. he locked himself from us, but peter found a way throuhj some holes in walls as an animagi.

so we had eyes on him, even when he didn't want us to.

sirius also started acting... diffrently. i noticed that quickly, like, i'm his sister, we are twins 💀 so i notice things like this fast. he planned something. i knew that. but i didn't care, as i thought that this would be another stupid idea by sirius black. how wrong i was...

⋆｡°✩┊day before the prank

remus was with pomfrey that day. we didn't see him, as pomfrey told us not to do, even when james started literally fighting over it, but she still said no.

during the day, when we were after classes, and we were in common room, i couldn't find sirius there. which was weird, 'cause he always sat with boys in dormitory or in common room. i had to return his books before OWLs that had place next day, and he wanted them back. but i didn't find them. also, this full moon me and james should take care of moony during this night, but prongs was getting sick. i knew that he was also tired from learning to pass OWLs, so i offered that only i would go that night. he protested at first, but finally agreeded. i told him to just go to sleep and rest. i mean, my animagi is puma, so i would be okay, i mean, that's what i thought

⋆｡°✩┊the night when the prank happened

everything was okay at first. as usual, i waited for a bit, so pomfrey would take remus to shrieking shack and come back to hogwarts. that's when we went in our animagi form to whomping willow. and that's what i did too. when i got into shrieking shack, moony was already in his werewolf form. it didn't happen often. i mean, usually we got couple more minutes before he transform. but it didn't happen that day. i felt that he was nervous, even angry at some point, more than usual. so i just got into my sleeping position, and even fell asleep. at first remus was fighting himself, but stopped very quickly. he was calm, layed in the floor. when we were both laying down, after like an hour?? maybe?? something happened. moony suddenly raised his head. but i felt the same thing as he did. someone was outside. i thought it was james, so i stood up and just walked to the spot where i could see the person that was at the time walking down the stairs.

everything happened in seconds.

when i saw severus snape standing at the door, in a milisecond remus stood up and i knew what would happen next. he wanted to atack snape. i felt how he got angry. why didn't severu ran? but when i saw remus getting ready to jump to him, i didn't think twice. i turned into my human form again, and in a blink of an eye i was standing between moony and severus. BUT HE WAS STILL STANDING THERE. like why didn't he run?? i shouted to him, to go find somebody, dumbledore, mcgonagall, or pomfrey, but he was still standing there, too scared to even move an inch. then remus attacked us. i used basic spell to get rid of him for a second, but i knew that it made him angry even more. i shouted 'go' to severus. it finally moved him, and he ran away. i hoped that he would get somebody before something happens.

he attacked me more aggressively, than before. i didn't want to use more hard spells, 'cause i knew that i would hurt him. iwould hurt moony. remus.

so i didn't attack. i just casted spells that would help me protect myself, well, it worked 'till he didn't even see the spells. he just ignored them. like i was just, you know, just a girl that was standing on his way for his food. then it happened. he took a swing and his claws landed on my neck and cheek.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ANOTHER EXPLAINATION HEREEEEEE

so, when i first created this dr, as a faceclaimi took sophie thatcher, and it stayed like that BUTTT in first 'design' of me i had scars. scars are beautiful. all of the scars have their own story, through scars you can see what someone was going through. and, well the idea stayed with me. but, i wanted the scars to have history, as every scar have one, yk :) sooooo i scripted that i have scars on the right side of my face, on my cheek. then the right side of my neck, and then, a little bit lower on my right hand, forearm, etc., so, as scripted i needed get those from somewhere... and the prank is one of those situations that when i was creating my first script for this dr, i thought 'hell yes, this is THE moment' so, here we are. with a little bit of angst coming in, let's get going :))

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

so also i just scripted a 'huge pain' etc. out of my dr, so i just felt a scratch, like nothing really happened.

as soon as this happened, somebody came into the shrieking shack. it was dumbledore and pomfrey, and after them i saw james. he was about to help pomfrey to take my out of there. dumbledore tried to calm down moony. i think i kind of fell asleep? passed out or smth? idk , i just woke up in the hospital wing. remus was sitting next to me, asleep. when pomfrey saw that i'm awake, she came and gave me some meds, she asked how do i feel and told me what happened, even tho i remembered. she also told that remus refused to move from hospital wing untill i woke up :((

when he finally woke up, i said something that was suppose to be 'hey' but sounded more like 'ghrb', LMAO that's bc wounds on my neck. but, it quickly vanished

well... and now the rollarcoaster is coming.

he said, that sirius told severus about whomping willow and the spell that you cast to go to shrieking shack. what he didn't know was that i was alone there. that james stayed in the dormitory for night. it was around midnight when sirius woke james up and started mumbling something like 'why are you here', 'isn't it your turn today?' james started to try to calm sirius down, he waken up peter too. they started talking with him, about what happened, when he finally said that he told severus about remus, james panicked. 'he just shouted something like 'tara is there. alone' sirius looked as if he had seen a ghost. when james left the dormitory, he went to pomfrey to wake her up. when he was on his way, he bumped into severus. both of them was going for someone. severus went to dumbledore, and james to pomfrey. severus stayed in castle, and james went with professors to help them bringing me back to hogwarts. rest of the story i knew.

well, i was in quite shock. SIRIUS. S I R I U S

and i connected the dots too. what he was doing when i couldn't find him.

remus wasn't looking at me when he spoke. and when he spoke again, he also wasn't looking.

teachers didn't know that we were animagis, so james lied to dumbledore about how did i end up there. that i figured out about sirius' plan before boys. and that i went there alone. james told that version to severus and other marauders. also remus.

i was kind of getting ignored by him? i mean, he wasn't looking at him. i was ANNOYED by this. so, even with the 'thing' with my voice, it was better this time. i told him to look at me. he DIDN'T. bro. why the fuck. then i said it again. when he finally looked at me, his eyes were teary. HELL NAH. he literally cried. about what happened. he was BRRRRROKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN. about what happened. he knew what he had done while being in his werewolf form. and he didn't want to look at me because of that. hell. no.

i said, that it's not his fault. that i don't want him to be sorry. and, oh god why, he literally SHOUTED at me 😭 that i have no idea, that he destroyed me, that he almost killed me. that he made me ugly. he literally used that word. UGLY. so i said that he have wounds too. that they are not making him ugly. that he is even more beautiful because of that. so then he just got up and left. GOT UP AND LEFT.

and how am i supposed to react bro. HOW.

in big summary, after him dumbledore came in. he told me that he sent an owl to my parents. he didn't tell the truth tho. he needed to lie about this situation, as also my parents were anti-werewolfes yk. he also told me that 'mr lupin is mad at your brother, and he's ignoring your other friends. he blame himself about what happened. and about what happened to you.' he just told me that he needs to take points from gryffindor, but i shouldn't feel that it's because of me. 'and even mr snape won't say that, he is thankful. you can stay here for some days. poppy will probably force you to stay until the wounds heal.' well, i heard pomfrey say that those wounds will stay with me forever, as scars, but it was okay. as i said scars are BEAUTIFUL and in that moment i knew that. they didn't make me ugly. they didn't destroy me. i was still me. scars only made me more visible. more me.

about my OWLs - i did pass them, dumbledore proposed me another deadline. i left hopsital wing after a week. pomfrey healed my wounds as much as possible, but as she said, these are magical wounds, and they won't vanish from my body. they will stay with me as scars.

ＪＵＮＥ

for two weeks after the prank i still have trouble with speaking, but with potions from pomfrey it . me & marauders passed OWLs, so we are kind of celebrating :))

andddddd here we are

— ୨୧₊˚ i finally confessed my feeling to remus

so let's just go STRAIGHT to this moment 'cause i wanted to share this with you for literal month LMAOOO

okay.

here we go.

everything started after like a month after may accident?? something around that.

remus was still mad at sirius, so was i. i mean, yes, he was my brother, but yes, he did what he did. and he will not run away from that. but after all he literally was stalking me to check if i'm okay, brang me potions from pomfrey, which was very nice from him, and i knew that he had done that because he was kind of stupid LMAO i think you know what i'm talking about. he didn't think about consequences of that :( remus sat separately from us. and in june, i got rid of that, and sat in front of him. he didn't talk to me, didn't even look at me. i was angry of course. he was my best friend, and he just stoped talking to me, because of what sirius had done. at the time my wounds were healed and i didn't wear any bandage or something - it wasn't necessary. and yes, as i said before, i have scars as i meant in the beggining of creating this dr. he wanted to go away, but when he stood up, i thought that maybe we just need to talk face to face, without anybody around us. So i said his name, he stopped for a second. I said something like 'can we talk at the astronomy tower tonight at midnight?' BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN NOD OR SOMETHING. like goddamn, why. but ANYWAY, he just walked away back to dormitory, and i hoped that he will show up (like i do not have it scripted LMAO)

okay so let's move on.

i stayed up all night nd just before midnight i got myself up and went to astronomy tower, hoping that he would be there. HMHMHM GUESS WHAT.

he was there.

he was already there when i came PLSSSSS

he was standing back to me, i didn't see his face or something, so i just stood next to him, and when he like didn't talk, i started explaining to him, that all of this that happened wasn't his fault. (well at some point it was also mine, i didn't defend myself as i could just because i didn't want to hurt him lol) and then i saw that he cried??? LITERALLY CRIED??? so i just shut up and we stayed in silence. AND THEN THERE IS T H I S PART. I LITERALLY SCIPTED ALL OF THIS (as i love that i do not script almost anything that people are saying, it's kind of funny sometimes, but here i scripted THE WHOLE THING WE WERE SAYING LMAO) so basiclly he said: 'I hurted you. The marks humans leave are too often scars. And the worst pain for me is, that i know i did this to you.' AND HERE HE FINALLY LOOKED AT ME. “Pain is temporary, but quitting lasts forever. I do not want you to leave because of that. I need you, remus. I don't care about this. I didn't care and i won't care untill i die. You would've never done that, and you know that. Do not seperate from me please, because this is what could make me feel worse. That you don't want to see me, touch me, speak to me." (i said) and there we stayed silence and i knew what i said. I LITERALLY CONFESSED MY FEELINGS TO HIM. so i kept going with this "You are closer to me than James or Peter, you know that. And i think i..." (here was a dramatic pause ofc lmao) "I think i feel something diffrent to you than to them. i don't know how to say this" Basiclly i started to stress and started mumbling, and he was still looking at me. AND THEN THIS HAPPENED.

REMUS FUCKING LUPIN KISSED ME GUYS

LET'S CELEBRATE OMG KJSDFHKJSHFKJSHDFKJDSFBSKDF

he said "You have no idea how i struggled to keep myself away from you."

MY HEART

MY.

HEART.

I AM STILL IN SHOCK OKAY. IT'S BEEN A MONTH AND THIS IS ALL I THINK ABOUT.

(and all of this wouldn't happen without lily, she literally told me 'she'i will kill you if you do not talk to him right now' so i guess she is a mother of this success here)

THE END OF PART 1

ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴠᴇʟᴠᴇᴛ - marauders dr playlist

“ɪ ꜱᴏʟᴇᴍɴʟʏ ꜱᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ɴᴏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ.” - my little mixtape

'ᴍʏ ᴍᴜᴍ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀɴ ᴏᴘᴇʀᴀ ꜱɪɴɢᴇʀ, ʏᴀ ᴋɴᴏᴡ?' - hope lupin

ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴠᴇʟᴠᴇᴛ - pinterest board

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

WRITING THIS WAS A TORTUREEEEEEEEEEE it took me whole month i'm so sorry that i update it rn. i also need to edit this because i made a lot of mistakes LMAO, so pls don't come after me if i misspelled some words or changed from past to present lmao

but yup. Part 2 will come sooner i promise <3

[blonde-tori-spring555]

ugh i hate when i feel on the verge of a panic attack

imma rant for a sec soz, u dont have to read the whole thing

...

im just so stressed rn, with school, family, friends and ive got like two auditions i need to prepare for and tbh i just feel anxious for no reason, i feel like im getting 'bad' again, like were i was just in my room and doing the same thing everyday and my brain hated that, and i just felt numb, like i dont think im depressed or anything like idk, i feel like i should explain what happened to originally make me feel like this, i wont go into full detail ect, but yeh

basically i was friends with this girl (we met at performing arts classes) and she i guess never rlly treated me amazing and was always slightly werid for example (not saying this is weird but from the way she is irl and they way she sounded seemed strange) so last year i was facetiming her and i was like "oh btw ive got a bf now", and she kinda seemed a bit Awkard, like her smile faded and she was just kinda like "oh thats great for u" a bit numbly (i should probs mention she isnt straight and for all ik she is bi) and then instantly changes the subject to "oh btw i was thinking of asking out-" and yeh we talked about it, anyway i spoke to my mum how i thought it was a bit weird and my mum said "oh hahaha maybe she has a crush on u" and im (pretty sure im) straight so like i didnt know how to react, anyway fast forward she started to act rlly weird and yeh, like kinda being a bit dramatic about stuff, anyway one week, this was in October, i didnt rlly text her because i was rlly busy, i was hanging out with my school friends and stuff, and i wanna say she could of text me and i would of responded, maybe not right away but i would of told her i was a bit busy if she had asked, but no, one of our friends told us she was upset that i hadnt been texting her and that i should, yk so i did, and she didnt respond, then she left our performing arts gc (with our friends in it from there) so i asked her why and two days later she responded saying she felt she didnt fit it, and at this point i was kinda sick of this drama so i was by choice not gonna text her for a few days and take care of myself, then one day while at school she send me a fucking video (like a capcut edit) basically calling me and my friends from theatre bad friends, and saying i need to send it to them, anyway i didnt and we told the woman that owns our company, and btw my mum knew the whole time, from when she started acting strange, and my mum was saying to the woman that owned the company, that she will call the poice if needed and if it has been sent out and posted (the video had my face in it), then she text me calling my mum stupid and calling me stupid so i blocked her, and after that i told her we are not friends and to leave me alone, then in December i repeated we are not friends but im not sitting here being pissed anymore so like forget about the shit and move on BUT WE ARE NOT FRIENDS, anyway this bs has been dragged on for like 5-6 months and she fucking keeps harassing me to the point ive had to block her on all platforms. anyway yeh :)

[fleshdyke]

i always look out the window on the bus when we're going over the river on my way home bc there's always a bunch of cool birds down there but like i swear to god i keep seeing pelicans. like the first time i think i could have just believed it was a cormorant that i was being stupid about for some reason but i saw two giant very round birds standing on riverstones today and i actually cant think of anything else they could have been. except pelicans do NOT live around here!!!!!!! like maybe if it was the peak of the summer and the breeding populations were just more eastern than they usually are for some reason yk climate change and everything but it's october. any remaining breeding populations out west would be returning down south now anyways and it's definitely too cold for them rn. it's fucking me up though bc they definitely looked like pelicans but there's no way there are fucking pelicans in ontario in october

[putschki1969]

2023/09/06 Instagram post by Wakana

“Kaiyukan” Part 4!! ️🌊🦈🌊 This will be the last Kaiyukan post 👏 In addition to all the animals, there were also interactive exhibits that I really enjoyed🤗✨ This time, I was able to walk around the museum while listening to various explanations of staff members 😆 I feel grateful! ️✨ There are still many things I don't know about the ocean and sea creatures🧐 My endless journey to discover aquariums continues...!! ️!! (Source)

Wakana's Talk Garden#1 「Summer Troubles」

»»—— CLICK ME 🎁 CLICK ME ——««

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ Do ❗NOT SHARE❗ on other sites ❗Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

As announced a few days ago, Wakana is starting a podcast for Botanical Land members titled “Wakana’s Talk Garden”! A new episode will be posted once a month, the first one is already available on her fan club site! Episode #2 is scheduled to release on October 10. For future episodes, Wakana will let Botanical Land members contribute to the main talk topics and everyone can send in submissions (she's also thinking about small presents to those whose messages get picked up to be read during an episode). Be sure to join check it out!

The first episode was was quite reminiscent of YK's radio episodes, a lot calmer and toned down than what I would expect from Wakana XD. Wakana really enjoyed recording those "Sono Saki e" audio lyric essays she did for Uta Net so she is now trying to reproduce that atmosphere with her podcast. I'm glad she's getting some use out of the fancy microphone in her living room (although she is not using her special sound shield for these recordings even though it would probably be perfect for this purpose. She says she wanted the audio to be more casual and free-style). For next month, the topics are as follows =>

What comes to mind when you think of "autumn"?

Are you the type of person who takes comfort in things that don't change? Or are you the type who wants change?

2023/09/10 Blog post by Wakana おしゃべりガーデン始まりました！〜エアコンと新幹線とサバ美味しい〜

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ Do ❗NOT SHARE❗ on other sites ❗Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Launch of My Talk Garden ! ~ Air cons, Shinkansen and Delicious Mackerels~

The first topic for my new podcast "Wakana's Talk Garden" was "Summer Troubles" so I had the chance to talk about lots of stuff with you😄Somehow I ended up talking for 30 minutes…🤔I hope you can listen to it when it's convenient for you, maybe while you are commuting or while doing something else. It seems like I make a lot of mistakes when I'm recording all by myself. When I listened to the audio after I had finished, I noticed so many little mistakes 😂😂 First of all, when I talked about my air conditioner being able to detect the outside temperature and start/stop the cooling function accordingly, I called this feature a "rest mode", but apparently, such a term does not exist.

And at one point I said "short-sleeved pajamas" although I meant to say "short-sleeved lounge-wear". I always wear long sleeves when I sleep, even in the summer *laughs*. I love these organic cotton pajamas and have been wearing them for about 10 years...😳Even though they're a little shabby, I still love them.

And I mentioned that the in-car wagon sales service on the Tokaido Shinkansen was no longer available but I was wrong! It is in fact still available but not for much longer, the service will end on October 31! So everyone, use that opportunity as long as the service is still available! Until then, let's all buy the infamous ultra hard ice cream\\\\٩( 'ω' )و ////

Speaking of October, episode #2 is scheduled for October 10th! The talk theme is:

What comes to mind when you think of "autumn"?

Are you the type of person who takes comfort in things that don't change? Or are you the type who wants change?

I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts related to autumn! As for the second question, you can tell me your habits, for example, if you like to move around a lot and change your environment? Or if you wear the same pajamas all the time? (that might just be me) By the way, I have lived in the same place for 12 years! I guess I am the type that feels comfort in things remaining stable 😂

Visit the fan club site to check out the first episode, to share your opinions/impressions and to send in submissions for the next episode! ↓↓↓↓↓ https://wakana-fc.jp/

＊＊＊Wakana＊＊＊

[girlwithfish]

wld it be weird to reach out to my old therapist I saw from july-october last yr before I started my PHP&IOP program.. when I stepped down to iop and needed an outside therapist again back in like. November she said she wld recommend I do a dbt program first before I start w her again bc counseling is like the lowest level of care and I suppose my situation was very severe at the time. And I never ended up looking into a dbt program bc then I ended up moving and leaving the area and she had recommended me programs in that area and idk my situation changed I guess so I went back to weekly counseling w the therapist I have rn. I don't dislike my current therapist but i also don't know if im getting the results I want or progressing how I want and I get along w her fine but im not superrr comfortable w her still and it's been 4 months now. I feel like my last therapist understood my issues last yr really well and I genuinely had never liked a therapist I've had b4 her, and her personality and approach felt really compatible w me idk. idk if its selfish to want to go back to her, and idk if she'd take me as a client any way but since my situation changed I thought maybe it wldnt hurt to ask. I think I was just too crazy last yr and my situation was really severe so she didn't feel like she cld help me but im not crazy anymore Lolol. How to say that in like a normal way when I email her,/if I do. And idk I feel like it's hard to explain to my current therapist abt how I feel these complex feelings toward how my life used to b bc she didn't know me then. my last therapist understood bc i was in that state when I saw her and she had a good understanding of BPD and I felt seen 4 the first time by a counselor. it's kinda scary she doesn't know anything abt my ex being abusive bc I never talked abt it and that scares me that I never shared that part of my life in therapy at the time bc I didn't realize I was being abused I guess even tho I knew it was wrong but I thought I was the problem for like two years. Lol. but yeah idk. couldn't hurt to reach out she'll just say no again and that's it yk... but is it weird to

[sugar-omi]

aww I'm gonna miss the Cove icon but who's the lady? 030

help i got so confused for a sec i totally forgot i changed my pfp but then I realized n pls I've never closed genshin faster...

the cove icon is such a staple tho!!! I hope yall recognize me without it but I trust my regular horny posts will be all you need anyway LOL

altho it may or may not come back some time after October yk, I was just tryna get in the spooky mood n stuff hehe but we'll see bc I am Crazy over this lovely lady here

BUT ANYWAY IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED HEHE THIS IS MY LOVELY LADY, MY CURRENT BRAIN WORM THAT IS EATING ME AWAY:

well.. ngl she's nameless right now. but she is my 3rd baxter child, yes I'm still on that bc yall ruined me w baxters kids being colorful n shit n now I like to laugh abt his child's fashion choices becoming progressively more colorful n crazier than his....

BUT TO INTRODUCE MY GIRL A BITTTT (also I'm literally drawing smth else for her n I didn't expect to reveal her like this but... she's everything to me n I cranked this out in like 3-4 hours bc I'm crazy)

anyway, she's Very into gyaru fashion, specifically n mostly kogal and kuro

she's looks like a cinnamon roll, will beat your ass!!!, I'm thinking she does competitive ballroom dancing like baxter or she can at least dance well enough to wear you out n tell you you suck

she's sarcastic, has the worst RBF of the whole family. at least baxter n theo look like they're just smug flirty assholes n aurelia looks more approachable in comparison to this lovely lady here.

also she has a heart shaped freckle. it's faint n you can't even rlly tell here but it's under her eye (I realize all my baxters children have one under their eye but idc. I am ONTO SOMETHING)

anyway.. her n theo are besties and baxter has to check in at night bc they'll be in her room painting each others nails n doing nail extensions or dying her hair (its 2 toned if you havent guessed, ive seen it sm n im obsessed n so she had it okay) like go to SLEEP YOU HAVE SCHOOL TMRW!!!

just thought abt it. she's obsessed w true crime, food, makeup, and stationary videos, and the stardew valley/the sims

also just decided she is soon for the ladies. I'm thinking lesbian n demisexual, mmm

COVE IS HER FAVORITE UNCLE ITS CANON

don't ask how, just know that it's true.

hates pickles. she is me. she is my child... omg Aurelia likes pickles. I was gonna say theo but he's a ramble for another time omfg I am thinking SO MUCH

anyway... ik you didn't ask for a ramble abt my oc but I will take this and run w it okay

she is very introverted but when she picks friends you are now 4lifers okay you cannot get rid of her n why would you want to? you life was a mess before her. trust. /j /lh

she's like baxter so much in the way she worries n has insecurities n stuff, honestly I think she inherited the identity crisis thing baxter got going on over there

also is the youngest and very much an accident (just like aurelia, dw they're FINE everyone laughs abt baxters reaction now which I will make a bit of later bc I'm thinking many thoughts abt the boys finding out mc is preg) so she's a bit spoiled bc her siblings were at least 9 n loved her sm when she was born

(imagining theo passing her to you or baxter n running away when she had a dirty diaper... pls thats so funny)

ALSO VTUBERS SHE IS CRAZY OVER THEM

yeah she is so my child omfg okay IM DONE IM DONE IF YOU READ THIS I SRSLY LOVE YOU BC I SPIRALED

now ik what it's like to jump at any chance to talk abt your ocs n how fucking crazy it makes you.... I am unstoppable now

[starixi07]

guys omg let me talk about how my life has changed so much from july 2023 to now April 2024 (mad yapping incoming) tw: ed, alc, peer pressure

July: Ok so in July I started losing weight because I wanted to become my “best” self. My birthday had just happened and I turned 16. Two days later, my parents got in a huge fight and they told me and my brother to come out of our rooms. My dad had been cheating on my mom and she wanted a divorce. But, I never wanted them to so my mom gave me the choice if she would stay or leave. I ,of course, made her stay (she still blames me to this day). So, I went on a hunger strike and didn’t eat for like a week.

August: I had lost about 10 pounds and school was going to start. Once school started some people took notice, but I didn’t look all that different. I also stopped wearing a full face of makeup and went natural.

September: I lost another 10 pounds and looked more snatched than ever. There was this new girl in my class and we became friends. She then turned out to go to my elementary and we reconnected. I told her about my ex talking stage. Turns out he had been saying I was obsessed with him behind my back to girls from other schools like brudda what?

October: I lost ten more pounds and I was at my best weight/body. There was the fair and lala. OMG i talked to this one guy for about two weeks because I reached out (i was bored). I also talked to this other guy but i ended them both that same month. My ed was so horrible at this time but my body was bomb yall.

November: I was in my Rory Gilmore era guys and my grades were so good. I had a small friend group and was in the middle of popularity ykwim? Not much happened.

December: I started to develop a crush on this guy. He was part of that friendcest group iykyk. Nevertheless I was like ooo lala. Let me tell yall cause ik i’m not delulu. I was with my friend and she went to go turn in a paper in the office. She made a joke and I laughed with my teeth out and we walked outside the door. I see someone come down the stairs and I was still smiling and I made eye contact. He looked at me and smiled at me. Keep in mind that this brudda did NOT know me. My friend became friends with one of his friends. He was a popular kid that like everyone likes and is on the football team, tall and white. (ikr😡) They would joke around and my pookie sookie hangs out with that foo so everytime my friend and her friend would joke around he would be there and would laugh when i would laugh. In several instances I may have somehow made him think I liked him. (i didn’t at the time) Guys i would giggle around him as if i had a crush on him but i didn’t.

January 2024: Christmas break passed and I gained half the weight back. Formal was coming up and I was scared I would look fat. So, I restricted and went back to a good weight. I got my dress and yall I’m hispanic so yk i got the badonkadonk genes but not the biddies😔. Guys my gyatt looked so good in that dress. (i love brain rot idc) I pregamed before formal and went with my friend. Guys i didn’t mean to get too coocoo but I did. My pookie dookie was there and he kept looking at me. I didn’t go to the after party tho cause i didn’t know they were a thing. I found out one of my besties went and she was all up on him but I remained her friend.

February: I started wearing makeup again but this time i was a baddie. Remember my crush? He followed me at 3 am on a Sunday and… he was drinking. (found out from that friend) GUYS OMGGG! I started to wear less makeup and wore only my lash clusters. There was a moment during school where he was walking with a friend. I noticed it was him and peeked. THIS BRUDDA WAS LOOKING AT ME.

March: This was MY month yall. As i told yall im hispanic so I go to quinces. (search them up) My friend that snaps my crush went with me and this other girl that’s my friend. I drank hella and almost blacked out. I was dancing with this one guy and he was also all drunk. He kissed me. Guys that was my first kiss. Anyways that night we crazy and still keeps me up to this day. That night my friend that snaps my crush came home to stay the night over at mine. I ended up adding my crush on snap. He added me back three mins later. We start snapping. The next night, my dog dies. This was my first time experiencing grief and she died in my arms. I loved her sm she was my first dog. Then, it was my friends bday the one that snaps my crush😭. The next weekend I went to her lil bday kickback. (my first ever omg) I became friend with two popular girls. We all drank sm that day too. I went back home at like 3 am. Then, I started going the gym and eating healthier. I hung out with those two popular girls and we went to the mall. Then, spring break started. I hung out with that girl that snaps my crush and we became besties. She came over to sleep over and we got twisted (tea) 🐒. We also hit the penjamin and I bought the devils lettuce. That night at one in the morning. I asked her to call my crush. She did, and he picked up. They were flirting in front of me but he didn’t rlly wanna and told her he was going to sleep. He sent me a snap after and he was with his friends. They were doing the same that my bestie and I were. Still, his responses to me were so dry and boring.

April: This month is so messy and it hasn’t even ended. My crush has started to snap me less. I found out over spring break he went to a beach trip with his friend and three other girls (unsupervised) for like three days. He slept with the biggest bop of the century and we lost our streak. That wasn’t even the first time they had done that together either. Then, another quince happened and I went with my new bestie. We pregamed at my house. I danced with like two guys. They were both in their 20s bye😭. I went home mad drunk with my bestie. We ended the night. The next morning, my parents talked to me. They found my drinks, my lettuce, pictures of me doing that and more. They prohibited me from going out and seeing my friend. They took away my phone. The night before, I ended up texting the guy from october. Turns out he had a gf the entire time we talked in that month. I also talked to this other guy and we called all night. I was hopeless. Me and my parents ended up better the next day tho. I wrote a bombbb apology letter and I. guilt tripped them for forcing their divorce on me. There was gonna be a party for a popular girl the week after and Ik they weren’t gonna let me go. So, I SNUCK OUT for the first time. We ended up going all late but I looked bomb. And guess what my crush was there. It was 4/20 so yk i had to get lit. I wanted to be more “lit” before I talked to my pookie. I shaved everywhere guys mhmmm. My friend can’t control herself, so she got wasted. My crush was right behind me and she looked at me and yelled “Go talk to ****!” Guys I ran away. Like frfr. I was so embarrassed and then I came back to the party. Then, the guys left cause her dad was gonna come home. Me and my friend and these other people hid in her room. I didn’t have a ride home and none of them did either. I was gonna go home with the girls sister and ended up getting picked up by one of my friends from last year. Before that, my friend left home and everyone else did and it was just me and this one guy. We walked back to the room and he was like “is your friend always like that?” I told him no she was just too drunk. He told me she tried to kiss him. Then he was all rambling “I would never kiss a drunk girl” like ten times. To him I seemed sober cause i was taking care of her all night. Then, i asked him if i smelled like lettuce and he goes “no u smell rlly good “ i just tell him ok and then he repeats himself. He looks at me and gives me that stare yk. Guys I looked away so fast. Ok I would have kissed him but he seemed gay so I didn’t. After that, my crush snapped me more often. We stopped making eye contact tho. But last week we had a different schedule and we normally would have third period after breakfast, but instead we had it right after second. I was walking to the building and there is a window on the door. It’s hella reflective and I look at myself before I enter. I heard someone walking behind me and I assumed it was this other girl that I had that class with. GUYS i look at myself and see behind me my CRUSH. He doesn’t have class in that building he has it ACROSS wth did he follow me for. I was so scared and went to class. That class ended and I have fourth period with him. He usually gets to that class so quick. I have it right across so I get there in like five seconds. I went to class and I had to go pee so I went to the restroom. I see someone come up the stairs and ik it’s him. I felt bold guys. I look him in the eyes and he looked away hella quick. I went to the bathroom and came back. I had to put the pass away and he was standing by the door about to go to the bathroom but there was no pass. I had it yall. I put the pass down right next to his hand and he looked down at me ( he’s like 6 feet) (i’m 5’3😍) I went to class. School ended and I was going to the front gate cause I have class in the back. I saw him walking with his friend and we made eye contact. He’s so annoying. He tried to seem smug like ur weird ho. 😭😭 I want him so bad. I got scared cause I didn’t expect it and then looked away mad quick.

Part Two ??

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

questions that only your mind can answer:

1. suguru as a poet. y/n? if y, who do you think his favorite poet would be?

2. what siken poem is the most sugu coded?

3. if satoru was a type of poem what kind would he be and why?

thank you for your time my ari.

WAHHHHH MY IO……… 🥺🥺🥺 you have no idea how loud i squealed when i saw this LMAO thank you sm for giving me an excuse to gush over stsg and poetry at the same time i feel so privilieged 😭😭😭 UMMM UM LET ME THINK!!!!

1/ first off. BIG yes. huge yes. he’s so poetcoded it makes me ILL. io i’m convincedddd that this man would be a literature major and i’m not just saying that bc i’m biased ok…. i just feel like he would have a fondness for the arts yk :33 particularly writing. i can picture him as a poet so easily bc everything he does and says is flowery and soft…. poet!sugu would make us swoooooon

i’m a bit sleepy rn so at first i thought you meant y/n as in like .. The Reader 😭😭 BUT THEN I STARTED THINKING ABT POET!READER TOO AND. wow. theee power couple ever !!! aaa io he’d be so perfect :((( sugu would be such a supportive bf no matter what his s/o did for a living but w any kind of writer i just think he’d be so Good. proofreads for you all the time!! he’s your most loyal reader… your biggest fan…. reads alllll your little poems when you’re away and he misses you :((( and he writes you his own !!! they’re so mushy and pretty and sweet…… hhhh. he’s just. the best!!! T_T brags abt your writing to satoru alllll the time but doesn’t let him read any of it w/o your consent (maybe even with it LMAO)… i just think he’d feel so honoured if his shy little poet!s/o only let him read their works :’3

nooo i’m not projecting at alllll… wdym…..

OOOHH AND AND. his favorite poets!!! as much as i’d love to say siken i don’t think that’s really his style. suguru strikes me as the type to enjoy very flowery writing, a bit musical-leaning in the rhythm and structure and stuff!! also season-based…. i’m thinking verlaine and rimbaud and nakahara. french symbolist poets and anyone inspired by them!! as for a more modern example i think he lovesss mary oliver and louise glück :3 october is one of his favorites!!! these lines remind me a lot of him….

Summer after summer has ended, balm after violence: it does me no good to be good to me now; violence has changed me.

This is the present, an allegory of waste. So much has changed. And still, you are fortunate: the ideal burns in you like a fever. Or not like a fever, like a second heart.

This is the light of autumn; it has turned on us. Surely it is a privilege to approach the end still believing in something.

hmmm….. a part of me wants to say he really enjoys frank bidart too. the war of vaslav nijinsky makes me think of him!!! :0 the themes of morality and guilt.. especially this line for some reason:

romola. diaghilev. i have eaten the world.

maybe it’s bc of his ct but . i just feel like he’d enjoy poetry abt hunger and eating in a more abstract sense… devouring…. etcetc. it’s a big contrast to the usual nature-based flowery prose he reads but sugu loves having his contrasts so. i think it makes sense!!

all in all i think he has very good taste. he’s not afraid to dip his toes into other genres either!!

2/ IO . 🥺🥺 MY SWEETHEART….. i literally cried i can’t believe you’re indulging me like this i started shaking w excitement……… i just went through crush + war of the foxes and if i had to narrow it down to just a single poem (<- extremely difficult task!! pls be proud) it’d have to be…… little beast.

if i had to sum this poem up with two words they’d be violent and tender… which is the case for all of siken’s poems tbf 😭 but that yearning for tenderness in the midst of violence is just so, so evident here. it always guts me. there are softer poems that i’d compare suguru to, but if we’re talking about canon suguru, his connection to satoru, his fate and ideals and desperate yearning for love… then i think this one is the most fitting.

obv this is tied to my own interpretation but!! at the end of the day. i see suguru as someone who craves tenderness. he craves love and intimacy and what drove him to his breaking point was the realization that he wouldn’t get it without slaughter. i think that line between violence/gentleness drives him insane but he has no choice but to tiptoe around it. and that’s what this poem makes me think of. some lines remind me of stsg and that dichotomy in their relationship, others just of suguru and his mental state…. and also his charm. that dangerous edge to him. the contrasting softness. the poem gets more violent as it goes on but the love never fades and that’s what really gets me.

the radio aches a little tune that tells the story of what the night is thinking. it’s thinking of love. it’s thinking of stabbing us to death and leaving our bodies in a dumpster. that’s a nice touch, stains in the night, whiskey and kisses for everyone.

someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure. i’m sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart.

i know history. there are many names in history but none of them are ours.

you could drown in those eyes, i said. the fact of his pulse, the way he pulled his body in, out of shyness or shame or a desire not to disturb the air around him.

you could drown in those eyes, i said, so it’s summer, so it’s suicide, so we’re helpless in sleep and struggling at the bottom of the pool.

more frequently i was finding myself sleepless, and he was running out of lullabies.

but damn if there isn’t anything sexier than a slender boy with a handgun, a fast car, a bottle of pills.

we pull our boots on with both hands but we can’t punch ourselves awake and all i can do is stand on the curb and say sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine.

i couldn’t get the boy to kill me, but i wore his jacket for the longest time.

…… honourable mentions to landscape with fruit rot and millipede + birds hover the trampled field + snow and dirty rain

3/ aaaand finally !!! this question was kinda tough… but soooo much fun to think abt. <33

i think satoru is the kind of poem that stays with you forever. the kind that pulls you in with a really gripping opening line, forces you to read it all in one sitting, and then you’re left wondering what the hell it was even about. flowery but with no real substance until you dig really deep, and then it’s all you can see. the kind of poem you could pick apart for hours and hours……. a real gem. but it’s comforting, above all else. he’s like a collection of poetry that makes you smile just to hold it!!! :>

now !!! some questions for you !!!!! >:3

how do you think satoru would be w a poet!s/o?

any thoughts on poet!nanami..? 👀

[elflock-magician]

Hey, Yo! its Jay again lol, uhmz so, that Nagito x Jay fic you made is like, my favourite ever, so i came here to humbly ask (if that alright) if i can have another one? ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ

Uh, somethingz changed so let me give ya some updates you might need

So, yk how Nagito has two sides right? like his usual Self loathing, Hope obsessed self, and his chapter 5 Sarcastic and Passive-Agressive side?

So, Jay actually has something like that too, they like acting rebel-ish/Tough and jokester/Playful while sometimes being very shy and tsundere or just plainly shy tbh

They really like Emo/Scene music, and fashion, though their talent is the ultimate fan (danganfan actually but no breaking the 4 wall shh XD)

Oh, and their appearence changed a bit too!

Any fluff scenario, preferably Hope's Peak Academy with established dating would be so hecking coolz!

funsie fact: october (the month you used in that jayito fic, is my birthday month XD)

Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH! i really like seeing things about jayito that i didnt do so i can have a surprise, and the way you write is PERFECT *happy cries*

A/N - Omg hiii!!! Thx so much!!! It’s so nice to see you again. Ngl I’ve missed writing Jay, even though the other fic was pretty brief, lol. But yeah, here it is!! :3

Summary - Jay’s attendance record was absolutely horrific. They so often skipped class to go waste the day in the gym closet to read fanfic or listen to music. Nagito was really the only one who knew of Jay’s habit. He considered it something special.

Nagito had noticed something about Jay. Specifically being that usually, Jay either showed up to class pretty early or just didn’t bother at all. So when Nagito noticed Jay’s absence that morning, he knew that Jay would not be around for class.

Before the two of them had officially started dating, Nagito had noticed their lackluster attendance record, and chosen to leave Jay to their own devices. He figured that the ultimate was just bettering their talent elsewhere. But then, one day pretty early into their official relationship, Jay had texted Nagito something along the lines of ‘Heyyy, I’m in the upstairs gym clozet skipping, drop by? ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ’ and Nagito wasn’t about to pass that chance up, no matter how undeserving he saw himself of it at the time, and it became something special. Nagito quite liked it, actually, as selfish as he may have seen it back then. He liked how it was something uniquely special between him and Jay.

But regardless of how, when Nagito noticed Jays absence that morning, he figured he should check the gym closet for Jay.

And, surprising no one, Nagito was correct. He entered the empty gym, and then climbed the stairs to where the nearly empty closet was. The upper gym closet wasn’t often used, which made it an easy to access place of skipping class. Nagito approached the closet door, and opened it.

“Jay, are you in here?” Nagito called out into the dark closet as he creaked the door open, his hand slightly to the side of his mouth to project his pretty raspy voice. 

“Boo!” 

“Oh, hey Jay.” Nagito replied curtly, not at all startled. Nagito was very numb to most forms of fear, but that never stopped Jay from trying to get Nagito to call out in surprise.

“Gah, you’re no fun to try and scare!” Jay murmured as they shoved their hands into their jacket pockets.

“Maybe one day,” Nagito responded with a shrug. “What are you doing in here this time?” “Welll, you know! The usual. Wasting time. Anything is better than class at this point…” They added and stretched a bit. 

“Sure, but if you are going to do this so often, it would be best to find a less cramped space… This can’t be good for your posture…” Nagito commented as he slightly tilted his head to examine Jay’s posture a bit before slightly tapping Jay on the back. “Sounds like a future problem to me,” they responded nonchalantly. “And hey, this is technically bettering my talent as Ultimate Fan, ‘cause I come here and read fanfic sometimes! So Hope’s Peak can’t not let me graduate for my absences.”

Nagito sighed, since technically Jay was telling the truth. Hope’s Peak had some strange policies.

“Well… fair enough,” Nagito replied.

“Since you’re here~” Jay began as they took Nagito’s hand and pulled him a little closer, “You should stick around for a little bit!”

“Hmmmm,” Nagito pretended to contemplate, teasing Jay in his own joking way, “Should I?” “Oh c’mon!” Jay shook him a little bit. Nagito laughed. This was one of the many reasons Nagito loved Jay. Despite Jay being a real ultimate, he managed to never make Nagito feel like he wasn’t enough. Like he could laugh and joke, cry, and every other emotion, too, despite everything. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll stay!” He surrendered and smiled. Jay reached down and intertwined his fingers with Nagito’s. “But when it turns summer, we can’t be here. The air conditioner is already on its last limb, and knowing my luck, when it comes summer, it’ll be done for, and this room will basically become an oven…” Nagito deduced and shook his head in disdain of the coming future. 

“Well, it’s not summer yet, now c’mon, I have some stuff I wanna show you!” Jay exclaimed eagerly and pulled Nagito further into the closet where they spent their time. Jay led Nagito to the far corner of the dark closet, the only light illuminating it was Jay’s phone. The corner was wedged behind a shelf, which was stacked with boxes of useless and old gym equipment that Hope’s Peak didn’t use anymore. It was a discrete corner but it gave enough space that they wouldn’t be claustrophobic or anything.

Nagito and Jay sat down next to each other, so close that their legs were touching, and their shoulders were together. Jay wouldn’t bluntly admit that they liked being so close to Nagito.

“Here, this is a new song I just found. It’s pretty cool. I’ve been listening to it, like, nonstop.” Jay put one of their earbuds into their right ear, and then handed Nagito the left earbud, so that they could both listen to it, Jay holding the phone out in front of them both.

“The genre you usually listen to is ‘Scene’, if I’m not mistaken?” Nagito asked as they put the earbud in. “Yeps, that’s the one.”

“Right. Well, if you like it, I like it. What’s this one called?”

“It’s called You’re so Creepy, by Ghost Town!”

“Ahah, ‘you’re so creepy’, where have I heard that before?” Nagito said jokingly. “Oh please, if someone’s saying stuff to you again, tell me, and I’ll give them a good knock upside the head to leave you alone.” Jay punched their hand into their other as a little demonstration. Not that Jay was the most athletic, but they’d find a way, they figured.

“A-Ah, that’s not necessary!” “Oh, but it totally is! I’m not gonna just let anyone talk down at you! You deserve so much better than that!” Jay replied. Jay knew of how Nagito was a bit of a target among students due to his frequent prolific rants about hope and the like, which made his peers often think he was, well, creepy. Nagito couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Ah, well in any case, what is the song?” 

“Oh, right! The song,” Jay went ahead and clicked the play button on their phone, the song starting on the earbuds, Nagito listening attentively while Jay slightly nodded their head. Nagito was very supportive of Jay, some could even consider it to a fault, but he also enjoyed the music independently from that as well. He respected it because Jay liked it, but also just thought it was neat.

CREAK! Slam!

The door to the closet suddenly opened. Nagito and Jay collectively stiffened, their eyes widening. Why was anyone coming here? Literally no one ever used this closet! Not only was it up stairs, which most of the teachers couldn’t be bothered to climb, but the closet had literally nothing of use in it!

While it was true skipping class was excused if it was improving their talents, this technically could be considered trespassing to some degree. They really didn’t have an excuse to be there except that they couldn’t find any other private place to loiter. And the fact that the closet had almost nothing in it made it extra difficult to lie and say they were getting equipment or something. The two immediately panicked.

The light was flicked on by the culprit of the sudden door slamming, it being Ms.Yukizome. If they got caught by her they would be cooked. She would never let Nagito live it down, either. She already didn’t like the attendance excuse as it made most of the students lack other life skills. So? 

Nagito and Jay were still in the dimmer part of the closet, but if they stayed upright, they could still be seen. If they were smaller, then they could not be seen behind the boxes, but they were not that conveniently shelf sized. However... It was in the split second that Nagito pushed Jay back to where Jay was laying on their back and Nagito was on top of them, keeping himself up by his elbows which were on the ground, keeping him from putting all his weight on Jay. The two of them were face-to-face, and were in… very close proximity. If Nagito leaned himself down even a little bit more, their noses would be touching. They silently held their breaths, not daring to breathe as they heard Ms.Yukizome rummage through a box. In this position, they stayed hidden behind the boxes on the shelves. 

Jay silently started to become flustered, their heartbeat increasing at how close Nagito was. Though Nagito didn’t seem to pick up on the flustering feeling (he would probably start freaking out in the middle of the night when the feeling finally hit). But regardless of how flustering or embarrassing the close proximity was, the two were pretty perfectly hidden. But–

Thunk!

Ah. Just Nagito’s luck.

He knocked over some deflated soccer ball from the shelf with his shoulder when he ducked Jay onto their back. Because it was deflated, it didn’t roll to far, but it was still noticeable. 

“Huh?” Ms.Yukizome said beneath her breath, looking over at the deflated soccer ball.  “Is someone in here?” She shouted accusingly, putting her hands on her hips and looking over to the corner where the sound of them moving originated. But, due to their position, she didn’t see them. “Hm.” She hummed, before picking up the deflated soccer ball, though still not seeing them. She shrugged, before putting the ball back on the shelf and going back to what she was doing. 

She sighed as she apparently didn’t find whatever she was looking for in the box, and she shut the light and left the room, a satisfying clunk heard as she shut the door behind her. Nagito and Jay collectively sighed in relief once she was gone. 

“Thank gosh…” Nagito murmured.

“Okay, okay, get off now!” Jay called out and shoved Nagito’s chest a bit.

“Oh! Sorry about that, by the way,” Nagito chuckled a bit awkwardly as he sat up.

“‘S fine… That’s the only reason she didn’t see us…” Jay shut their eyes to evade eye contact. Jay picked up their phone, which had fallen forgotten onto the ground when Ms.Yukizome entered. The phone lit up at the touch, displaying the time.

“Oh, it’s lunch. You mind going and getting us something?” They asked, looking over, “I don’t feel like going myself~” They whined and leaned against Nagito’s shoulder.

“Sure thing,” Nagito replied and stood up, his knees cracking a bit as he did so. “Oh oh! Get the Strawberry soda and some straws so we can share it. I’ll chip in a lil!” Jay rummaged through their pockets before finding some coins in their pockets, which would effectively be able to pay for the one dollar, fifty cents soda, and maybe a bag of Chex Mix, while then Nagito could buy the actual food.

“Sounds good, ah, the strawberry soda is the best…” Nagito said and took the coins. Nagito had given up denying letting Jay pay in some part, as Jay was very insistent about not ‘taking advantage of Nagito’s kindness’ as they often said. 

Nagito left to go and get the lunch, though giving a little peek to see if anyone was in the gym before leaving. Nagito liked this window of time he got to spend alone with Jay. It felt like something special. Like no one else in the world existed except for them. Well, except for when Ms.Yukizome interrupted and killed the mood, but whatever. It was something that Nagito valued. Something unique between him and Jay.

A/N - Hope you enjoyed :DD Sorry I kinda vanished for so long? School started dunking on me. Call me Gundam with the way I've been getting trampled. But heyy spring break guysss!!

[non-un-topo]

random ass questions about ur stories: ok I don’t remember the title but ur recent long fic that was like. the aftermath of losing quynh and they were on that island with the fun-shaped stone that Nicky found? if ur happy to share I’d LOVE to hear about like. what part of the story u came up with first. like what image/vibe/plot point etc stuck in ur head so much that u wrote a whole fic about it yk? I absolutely LOVED that fic and would love to know!! hope ur having a good day and also no pressure to respond 🫶💕

🥺🥺 Ohh friend, thank you!! I'm so glad you liked it, and I'm sending lots of love to you!! The fic in question is Axis! (you're gonna get me talking about this big baby of mine and I won't shut up lol, I'm shy but I've had a lot of caffeine and I'm excited) <33

So I actually went looking through my old docs, phone notes, and physical journals for the first idea I had of this fic after I read your ask, because I could not seem to remember?? From what I managed to dig up, it was based on vibes first. I have some journal notes on "aporia", a state of ambivalence, and liminal space. I think I started writing it in October last year, during a very weird time where my mental health was... not great. In short, and hopefully without oversharing, I thought I was having a psychotic break. Turned out it was likely the CBD capsules I was taking for my chronic pain, which had a psychoactive effect I hadn't anticipated (like 0.1mg of THC and somehow it was enough). Anyway, at that time I started writing a lot of garbled philosophical thoughts, and I'll share this one for you because I'm almost certain it's what inspired Axis: (also putting the rest of this under a read-more so I don't annoy anyone sdfghfd)

What is the present? I wonder, because the moment you put your attention on it, it becomes the past. It vanishes. We think about present moments, but they’re already gone. All that exists is this idea of ‘happening’: All that will happen, and all that has happened. Neither is tangible. Neither can be held or kept. In thinking about the future, we imagine possibilities. In thinking about the past, we revive in our minds what has already happened. The only present that exists is the imagination. The dream. That which removes us from our reality, from our position in time and space. Where exactly is that? Rather, where are our selves in that state? Do we linger? Do we go? And if so, where? How long is the length of a single present moment? Can our lives exist as this single thread, if we spend it in dream-state? Are we forever suspended, or do our recollections of the past, our imaginings of the future, tether us to something tangible after all?

Anyway, right below this is the first line from Axis: "It is wondrous how quickly things can change in a moment."

Besides vibes and themes (suspension, stasis, indecision, fear of being lost, grieving, surrendering to the will of nature, being a fixed point in a broken group, being tethered together or untethered, things happening in reverse, being upside-down, being consumed, yadda yadda), I think the first scenes that popped into my head as visuals before I got writing were 1) Nicolo standing in the valley and catching a flake of ash in the air. 2) Yusuf and/or Nicolo in a hot spring. 3) Larus' frozen lambs. 4) The argument between Andromache and Nicolo, but no dialogue yet.

I know I wanted to write something sort of dream-like, that dipped in and out of flashbacks and liminal states, and I'm genuinely proud of myself for seeing it through. The last school year I had was intense to say the least, and there was a long stretch of time where I just left this fic as one scene and a bunch of nonsensical notes. Then, being real transparent here, a couple different tragedies happened one right after the other, and I just opened the doc again. I think my nana dying slowly had a lot to do with the direction my writing took. Thoughts, feelings, general atmosphere from real life creeps into my writing every time, and often I don't even notice until the project is done and I've read it a few times.

Anyway, I'm WAY overselling this fic dfgfds. It just means a whole lot to me and I know you can tell, so I appreciate you asking about it <3 Hope you have a fantastic day. Sending love and hugs <333

A bonus angsty snippet that didn't make it into the final work, just for you <3

It happens like this sometimes: Yusuf begins. “What if we never found you?” “You did.” “But what if. Just humour me for a moment.” You do. You love this man, so you do. “I wasn’t fast enough, and you slipped. I didn’t grab you. I didn’t even pull you from the water.” “You know it is not your fault.” “Andi didn’t— you didn’t see. I tried to jump in after you—” “And you would have been lost, too.” “No, I would have gotten you back.” There is no way to prove this. Nothing is certain. It already happened. You’re going around in circles. Yusuf says again, in a whisper, “What if we never found you?” You’re finding it hard to speak. To say anything in this moment. Yusuf presses his hands over his mouth, but it does nothing to contain his stilted gasps. He presses his words against his palms, but you hear them clear as ice: “What if we never find her?”

[tarasmithshifts]

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐑: 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 2

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑. 2 years😭 𝐀𝐆𝐄. 16-17 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏: sirius, remus, james, lily, peter, dorcas, marlene, mainly people from gryffindor and ravenclaw

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒. single (5th to the end of 5th year) TAKEN BAHSDHABHAHDB (summer after 5th year - ongoing)

「 ✦ 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 ✦ 」

helloooooooooooooooooooo welcome back (i started like a freaking youtuber LOL) part 1 was emmm, it was a rollercoaster. A BIG ONE

— ୨୧₊˚ click here to read part 1 :)

im super super super excited for this part 'cause finally something cute is happening, literally those things that happened in part 1... WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT IT. WE WENT THROUGH IT, AND WE ARE BACK. part 2. let's do it

「 ✦ 6th year ✦ 」

𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 - 6𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻

summer 1977 - I left grimmuald place 12 and ran away to remus. sirius did the same some weeks before me, and we were both burn out of the "Black Family Tree"

July/August - James Potter and Lily are named Head Boy and Head Girl.

October/November - Lily finally agreeded and started to go out with James for some dates

this are basics from og timeline because i don't want to spoil anything

ＳＵＭ ＭＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ a little reminder about what happened in last part - me and remus got together, and basically we are girlfriend and boyfriend, we spent time with each other more, trying to get ourselves more into this change yk 🥹

OKAY ANYWAY

after last day of school me and remus promised ourselves that we will write to each other as much as possible. boys did not know about ‘us’ because we didn’t know if this whole relationship will work 😭 so it was our little secret, but not for long tho

in july, when me and sirius were back at grimmuald place, sirius got himself into a HUGE fight with our father, and said to me “idk what you gonna do, but i will not stay here any longer”. he did not tell me where would he go, some days after this fight he left in a middle of the night. he just left me a note to do the same, and that in some weeks he will let me know where he is. i kept that ‘letter’ to myself.

when i tell you that walburga was PISSED. P I S S E D . as well as our father. they would fight over it, and finally, when it was clear that sirius is not coming back, they burned sirius face out of this family tree.

ar least they are proud of regulus 👍 good job mate. you will die. soon. like girllllll

especially that i’m super attached to him. he is my little brother and i knooooow that when i will shift again his death is gonna hit me like a train, BUT WE DONT TALK ABOUT THIS RN LETS GET BACK

when sirius left walburga was super suspicious about me and always was looking at me, controlled everything etc. i knew that if she would find out about remus, she would probably punish me for it or smth, so i sent last letter to remus that he should not write to me because my parents went WILD over this whole situation.

in august i felt empty??? i could not get any letters from remus, i missed him, i missed sirius. he did not sent me any letter after he left, but i knew that it’s probably because he knew what the hell is going on in the house rn. also, regulus started to ignore me, like walburga and orion did. annnnnnnndddddd that’s when i didn’t back off, and started shouting at him (reggie) and when walburga heard it, she wasn’t happy 💀💀 so she decided to fucking punish me, but this time i was like “hell no, fuck off” and the same night i left grimmuald place 12 behind me, in my past. i took everything i could with me, some clothes, books, and it was whole huge operation, because walburga and orion are those kind of people that when something moves behind some walls, they wake up. so what i did, was that i added sleep potion that i made in my room to their drinks that they were having before going to sleep. well, it worked HA.

but when i left this house, i was like “bombastic, but what am i going to do now 😭😭😭😭😭 i was literally without any house, i did not want to bother anybody, especially that it was 2am in the morning 💀 andromeda did not tell us where she lived so i had no idea where i should go, and the only person that i could think of then was remus. i knew where he lived, he wrote me his address in one of letters i got from him.

so i went there. by foot. call me crazy but i did that. i took some muggle bus and was on his street around 4am. i knew it was very early but i hoped that he will not be mad about it, or his father. they were living at the edge of london, it was quiet and lovely place to live. when i was looking round for his house, as there were only few of them, i looked up and i saw that it was full moon 😭 and i didn’t realise that before. so i was still looking for around like 25 minutes, and i finally found it. AND YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN MY FACE WHEN I SAW THAT LIGHT IN THE HOUSE WERE TURNED ON

LYALL LUPIN WAS AWAKE

THANK GOD

so i went to the door and knocked. i saw some movement in the window and was like “yuppp this man will think that i’m a freak. good job to me i guess” i waited a few minutes and he finally opened the door. i started apologising to him that i’m sorry that i’m here at 4 in the morning, that i know his son etc. then he fully opened the door and it wasn’t lyall lupin IT WAS REMUS 😭😭😭😭 i literally was so so so happy, i mean, he was shocked, i was shocked too because i thought that it was a full moon that night, i hugged him and he hugged me back IT WAS SO CUTE IM ABOUT TO CRY I WANNA GO BACK THERE SO BADLY

so we stayed in this position for some minutes and he finally made a step back, looked at me and said “what are you doing here?” so i started to tell him what happened few hours before, that sirius is somewhere god knows where, that he should write to me but i know why he didn’t, i was talking really fast and finally he was like “yo chill out, just come in and we will talk about it later, you need to sleep” (yup i’m living my y/n life LMAO) so basically he took my things upstairs and told me to sleep in his bedroom, and that he will figure out what to do later. so i went to sleep

— ୨୧₊˚ lupin’s house

it was like 11 am when i woke up, so i just went down the stairs to find remus, but he wasn’t there, so i just looked around and guess who i met in the kitchen 😭😭😭 lyall lupin ladies and gentlemen 😭😭😭 he was like “emmm you are tara right?” and i was like “yessss that’s me 💀” he was just walking around the kitchen, but he was nice to me tho. he said that remus went to james to tell him that i’m here. i was like “oh yup okay” so later i found out that sirius was living at james house the whole time 😭

so i wrote a letter to him telling him that i am at remus now, but i said that i don’t want to bother his family, so probably i will leave in a few days (i didn’t LMAO, remus stopped me) so that’s how i was living for next month, until school started. i got along with remus father, he is a nice guy, also he has good sense of humour, thank GOD 😭 idk finally i felt loved and as i was at my own home. thanks to the lupins 🫶

ＳＥＰＴＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ 1st day

lyall left few days before school started, he said that if i would need anything, he can buy me some things on street, but i was fine, as walburga buys everything that is needed already in june, so yup, i was stated for new school year 🫡

on a 1st day i finally saw sirius again, gosh i never thought that i would be happy only by seeing him in a crowd. remus told me what happened after sirius left grimmuald place 12, at least the part that he knew about. by this i also mean that he forgave him about what happened, so we were all good 🫶

on a train i found out that james and lily were chosen to become next head boy and head girl, which is the reason why they got onto each other.

sooooo me and remus relationship was still a secret, but i think that boys could feel the change between us, especially sirius, i mean it was kinda obvious 😭 we did not “hide” it, we just did not tell them 💀 there were signs, like sometimes remus put his arm around my back and hold me like this, or during the day when i tried to keep contact with him. basically only lily knew about me and remus. i told her right after everything happened in june, sooooo yup she knew since the very beginning.

whole September we were all excited to start new school year, but something started to feel different ??? but that was because of war.

but let’s concentrate on hogwarts rn 😭

so me and boys still took turns to stay with remus during full moons, remus wanted to complain about it because of what happened few months before, but he finally said yes.

ＯＣＴＯＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ boys find out about me and remus

soooo everything was fine at hogwarts, we were doing great, james and lily started to talk to each other, she would tell me about the conversations they had, but when i asked her “do you like him” she acted like she was angry and ignored the question or answered me with “don’t be ridiculous” soooo yk something was going on between them (finally) also sirius and remus told me that james is talking about her ALL THE TIME and that they are super tired of it. about peter,well, he was quiet as always 😭 so nothing changed.

me and remus were even more opened about our relationship, we were more confident about it? we were showing it ig 😭 and on one day in the middle of october, sirius, james and peter caught us in a common room and told us to sit down, their face went literally 🤨🤨🤨 and james started talking “okay what the HELL is going on here” so i looked at remus, remus looked at me, and i finally said “oh yeah we re together” and sirius went WILDDDD he literally looked at remus and went “THATS MY SISTER YOU MANIAC” and started chasing remus across the common room 😭 it was SO FUNNY 😭😭 after they were done (about 10 minutes later lmao💀) we just sat down in their dormitory and they were doing this police kind of thing where they are asking questions and shit 💀 pretty crazy but yup they knew since then

and because of that we could be more open about us and be ourselves bc of that. sirius was sometimes overdramatic about it but he got used to it i guess LMAO

also sirius got himself into detention 😭😭😭 AGAIN i’m super sick of this at some point 💀💀 he started to bully severus again, so i get it, but now lily did not react (he called mudblood as yk)

but james was a little bit out of business, because he wanted to impress lily, and you could see that. literally he was not helping sirius and peter with their pranks for a while, so he could convince lily to him, which was so cute ☹️

ＮＯＶＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ 17 birthdayyy

in the beginning of november me and sirius got letter from andromeda, that she heard about our escape from grimmuald place 12 and that she is super proud of us 😭😭😭 she asked if we have some place to stay and etc. to be honest, i didn’t think about it 💀 i didn’t want to bother remus but still i was too young to bus myself a house from money that i saved. sirius told me in the beginning of school year that he will stay at james during next summer, so he could later buy a house from money that he got from ⭐️

i just wrote back to andromeda that i’m okay, and i just did not think about it. it was not time for that too.

also, from weird things that happened in november is that on random day, when i was leaving great hall with remus after lunch, regulus wanted to talk to me??? like excuse you i guess? but yup he’s my little brother, i was worrying about him the whole time tbh 😭 so remus did not want to go away, he checked if i’m okay with him leaving, i just nodded, so he hugged me and just left 😭

SO ABOUT REGULUS CAUSE IM STILL BAD OKAY

he did not even say “hi” or shit, he just went

“oh so you are with H I M”

and i was like bro what? since when we are talking to each other like this??? what happened to hello? how was your day???

also he was nervously checking if the hall that we were standing in was clear. which was pretty mad, but i figured it out after i shifted back that he just wanted to check if any slytherins saw us 💀 he looked a little bit scared too. OKAY ANYWAY

so i went “why do you care”

AND HE RESPONDED “you are a blood traitor”

I WAS SO MAD. SO. MAD.

“that’s the reason why you stopped me?”

AND BARE WITH ME RN CAUSEEEEEE

“no.” he made a dramatic pause here lol??? “you know you can both still fix this”

MY JAW WAS ON A FLOOR I SWEAR, BECAUSE THEN HE SAID SOMETHING LIKE “you need to choose the right side. like mother said”

HE THREATENED ME TO JOIN LORD FUCKING VOLDEMORT.

BRO. WHAT THE FUCK.

hell no. I WAS SO PISSED SO P I S S E D

“reggie” “do not bother me again, please”

that’s all i said. the silence was LOUD, it was SCREAMING i think it was this moment that i knew that even if i tried, i would never convince reggie that lord voldemort and death eaters are not a good way to go to (if yk what i mean 😭) so i just walked away. and when i tell you i CRIED. i did not talk to sirius about it, i did not talk to remus about it, even tho both of them were trying to get out the convo between me and regulus of me LMAO, i knew that i would hurt sirius so i kept it to myself

ANYWAY

happy birthday to me and sirius i guess 😭😭😭

i am officially 17 in this dr 🤭

sirius ofc threw the whole party, but i passed. i wanted peace lmao. remus sat with me in his dormitory and we played some games, then dorcas and lily joined us, then james and peter. we had so much fun, it’s such a core memory 🫶🥹 I MISS THEM SO MUCH i’m sooooo homesick but yup i just gotta make my way back there (somehow)(even tho i know next shifts are gonna be awfully full of angst, i’m not ready tbh)

during the full moon this month me and james took care of remus ❤️‍🩹

ＤＥＣＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ christmas

okay sooooo HAPPY NEWS ABOUT JAMES AND LILY

basically james asked her out for a date and she said YES

WE WERE CELEBRATING and lily finally told me she likes him a lot and that if he would not be such a dumb-ass sometimes she would talk to him earlier 😭😭😭 i’m super happy for them literally waited for that moment for SO LONG. and sirius threw a little party in their dormitory so everyone were happy ❤️‍🩹

on christmas ofc we gave each other presents, but sirius went CRAZY this time.

1. he started dating a girl called daisy from ravenclaw (which was pretty crazy cause he didn’t pull up any girl for like a year or something?) this time he said that he really like her and will try to keep this relationship for longer than 3 weeks (they lasted like 3 months maybe 💀 james even made bets at this point 😭)

2. sirius and james were running around common room with a mistletoe to force people to kiss including me and remus 😭😭 pls guys i love them so much but WHAT

james and lily went out few times during december, and when lily was coming back to our dorm she was super happy and even tho she still had her opinion “but he is a dumb-ass sometimes🙄🙄🙄” she seemed to really like him???

sooooo also james invited sirius, remus, peter, lily, dorcas (and more actually it was a full-ass list with names of like 15 people and i’m too lazy to name all of them sorry 😭😭 maybe during editing i will do it) for new year’s eve, so we all needed to left hogwarts for christmas 😭 like girl i DONT HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE RN 💀 sirius stayed with james at his house, and remus told me that lyall is not coming back for christmas so we can go and live at his house for those 2 weeks, and we decided to do so ❤️‍🩹🥺 GUYS YOU DONT GET IT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AHHHHHHH PLS BRING ME BACK OMG

okay.

so.

i spent whole 2 weeks only with remus, it was super cute and cozyyy we decorated his house and baked (at least i did bc i was 17 and i could use magic legally outside hogwarts 💀) we had fun. truly these 2 weeks refreshed me soooo much, ALSO

LYALL LUPIN GOT ME A CHRISTMAS PRESENT 😭😭😭😭 it was little bracelet that remus told him i would like, pls lyall is such a nice guy 😭

and also i think the most memorable moment from these 2 weeks is remus christmas present, and by that i mean, he bought two tickets to “muggle” opera, and it was AMAZING. later the same night he told me the story how his parents met, and we played his mother records (i scripted that she was an opera singer!!!)

— ୨୧₊˚ new year’s eve

so me and remus needed to take a ride with this crazy wizard bus 😭😭😭 but we made it and spent THE BEST NEW YEAR’s EVE EVER. we had so much fun 😭 also i found out how many things in common me and dorcas have, which is funny because we were “friends” literally we live in one dorm 💀 but that night i got to know her more which is great bc we became closer as roommates. okay so basically during the midnight, when clock hit 12pm, there is this tradition that you have to kiss somebody for luck. so yup me and remus kissed (my cutie patootie ☹️) BUT ALSO WHEN I WAS GOING OUTSIDE WITH SIRIUS, REMUS, DORCAS AND OTHERS I SAW JAMES KISSING LILY???? I WAS SO HAPPY likeeeeee pls 😭

ＪＡＮＵＡＲＹ, ＦＥＢＲＵＡＲＹ, ＭＡＲＣＨ ＡＮＤ ＡＰＲＩＬ

i wil speed up those few months because nothing really happened except for some birthdays, and that was all because our exams, I WAS SO STRESSED IDK WHY i know that i will pass them perfectly (duhh) but i was stressed anyway. crazy time tbh lmao, everybody were busy.

about james and lily - they started to ‘officially date’ each other, which made me super happy, they are so cute 😭😭😭

also sirius broke up with this girl from ravenclaw, so it did not last long LMAO

and peter and sirius got themselves into a HUGE detention from mcgonagall for messing up her office 💀 which was crazy, we got -100 points from our house. you should have seen her, she was SO MAD. i’ve never seen mcgonagall so angry

ＭＡＹ

okayyyy so may was super chill month EXCEPT the final quidditch match. between gryffindor and slytherin it was AMAZING

okay so i probably did not write about that bc i did not find that necessary it still, i okay quidditch on one of ‘beater’ positions so yuppp i play quidditch 🤭 AND IT’S SO MICH FUNNN

anyway, gryffindor won after james found that goddamn little gold ball, when i tell you he was so annoyed bc he couldn’t catch it 😭😭 HE WAS SO PISSED, but we won 🤭

and after some other days of school work i “shifted back 😭” to cr

「 ✦ end notes ✦ 」

it was 2 months and im still there tbh 😭

ANYWAY

This shift was so crazy??? and fun???? and sad??? and cute??? AT THE SAME TIME.

i am now remus lupin gf. yup I WON

i’m so happy and i just can’t wait to shift there again 😭😭😭😭😭

remember that i will edit this page! there are A LOT to edit but i’m to lazy to do so 🤭

anyway BYE

[calumsash]

wrt ur outfit idea post- not to out myself as a fucking maya fan but like T_T do u remember the dress u made a while ago? the dark floral one? i just think that would slay supremely as a look but not slay literally due to heat exhaustion is what im saying.

akshdhd omg a true maya fan stop 😭😭😭 you're very sweet <3 that dress DOES SLAY thank you so much <3

the timing of this ask is pretty funny cause literally today i thought of an outfit i can wear that i might go with!!!! so a while ago i thrifted this short black dress that got some nice lace at the bottom? so yeah that but I'll put a shirt over it, me and my friend might have a funny idea to do to print special shirts for it but idk if this will actually happen, if not I'll probably put my rowyso tour shirt i got when they did their 10 anniversary merch drop? probably rock some black boots with that and hopefully october won't be TOO cold yk???? so that's where im at today but who knows my mind could change by then aksgsgdkd