#you are why i am the way i am and id rather cut out my own tongue than admit it

[jopzer]

every day i think about how jackie and jamie are both number nine and shauna and roy are both number six and then one day i'll die.

[firein-thesky]

Why is it that dc such as r@pe, sa, and incest is totally okay to write about and romanticize but y’all draw the line at racism, fat phobia, and homophobia *talking about the writings creators make, not personal beliefs*? Whats the difference between these things? All of them are hurtful and affect people in real life, so why is everybody on here choosing and picking one and not the other? Do writers on here think that they are not comparable or that one is okay to romanticize and the other is going way too far?

Im just genuinely curious as I have seen this topic be brought up again and again, which has made me realize this and Id like to see it from someone else's pov.

hi! there is a lot to answer and unpack here and i have every intention of doing so underneath the cut. forgive me if this gets long, but you’ve asked me 4 very massive questions that i think warrant detail, nuance, and thought. there is a lot i’d like to say here.

that being said, mind the content warnings and protect yourself.

cw: mentions of rape, incest, racism, homophobia, fat phobia, discourse in general

firstly, i am going to choose to give you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you are actually curious in hearing another side and you are not simply looking to stir a pot or pick a fight with beliefs you have no intention of changing or having an open discussion on. your accusatory tone in the first half indicates otherwise and kindly, i am not an idiot. but i want to earnestly talk to you about this and again, will think better of you than you perhaps have indicated you think of me.

secondly, you do not have to censor words like rape in my inbox. that sort of censorship has become wildly popular because of tik tok and other money-hungry social media that also desperately want to silence people. do you know why you have to censor words like that on tik tok? or words like genocide? suicide? racism? 1. so that they can make money and market and push their squeaky clean algorithms but 2. and perhaps worse, so they can silence victims. if social media platforms and capitalism and the systems of powers had it their way, you would never utter these words again—whether to call someone out for justice or to have an open discussion like this one. i encourage you greatly to think critically about this and how you choose to use censorship and why.

now, to your questions.

to preface, i am interpreting this ask as being anti-dark content in fiction as you state that ALL these subjects harm people in real life. or at least, you are being critical of all dark content in fiction and the way writers engage with them, effectively ‘picking and choosing’ which are deemed acceptable and which aren’t, when they are all hurtful. i apologize if that wasn’t your intention/what you believe, but regardless, i’ll endeavor to answer you.

i personally have drawn no lines about dark content nor spoken about any of these topics specifically really, which indicates to me you have a different narrative and/or are coming from more inflammatory arguments that are always circling fandom lately. in the post i most recently reblogged, i spoke mostly of violence. which, of course, all of those things can be. but i didn’t name one of those topics in particular.

regardless, i don’t believe in the censorship of any dark content in art, but rather advocate strongly for critical analysis on a case-by-case basis. in general, i encourage thinking critically about every aspect of the world around you.

i do not believe that rape, incest, and sa are okay to write about or create art about but racism, homophobia, and fat phobia are not. i believe all of those topics are ones that can, should, and will be explored in the safety of art. all to varying degrees of success, earnestness, impact, and intent. you’re right that these are real things, that can hurt people, and the fictional work about them can have impact on our society that is tangible but the actual art or fiction created is not real. and again, this is all to varying degrees on a case-by-case basis.

art and fiction also historically and massively do discuss these dark content topics and have actively swayed the public’s opinion on matters, whether for better or for worse. throwing away all dark content in art and fiction because it is ‘harmful’ is deeply, deeply dangerous and reductive. a lot of art that engages with dark content actually makes very succinct points about it—i think of vladimir nabokov’s lolita or octavia butler’s bloodchild or speak by laurie halse anderson.

this is where we must exorcise critical thinking. some pieces of work will handle dark content poorly—white saviors making art on racism. men making art about a woman’s experiences that (as you are so interested in) romanticize her pain. etc. etc. and some art will handle it’s dark content incredibly and be transformative, perhaps even revolutionary in how we talk, perceive, or acknowledge systems of oppression, violence, and dark content in this world. some dark content in fiction will have damaging beliefs and effects on society, some will not—we must also look at scope for this, at the writer perhaps, the historical moment, their audience etc.

(for example, there is a significant difference in a main stream male writer, writing of a woman’s experience with rape in a published book in a way that makes it sound romanticized, sold to thousands and thousands of general public vs. a woman using fanfic to explore rape, take control of it, or whatever in a fanfic for a small online community where there are warnings on it. indicating she is aware of its potential damage in a way her male counterpart is not…)

but i still believe in dark contents’ existence in art. of course there is differences between all of these topics you brought up, but i don’t think their differences matter in this answer. i believe in their right to be explored in art. i am talking broadly of media/art here, which i think is the more relevant conversation, but i think you are actually more interested in a much smaller scale of people. ie. fandom. ie. mostly marginalized people in small communities online writing and creating dark content.

people will choose and pick which ones they’d like to create art over and which ones they don’t, which ones they read and which ones they don’t. there’s no ‘hard line’ drawn anywhere. and i can’t control it and neither can you. perhaps you think violence is okay to be explored in fanfic, but racism isn’t. someone else will have different preferences. i do not believe in its censorship.

now, let’s move onto your interest in romanticization and what i think you are more pointing to, which is fandom. you are specifically referring to people in fandom who write about rape, incest, etc. and ‘romanticize’ it—ie. they write about it in a way that is a fantasy. it is perhaps supposed to be horny or sexy. so let’s talk about it.

i must remind you that these topics you’ve brought up (rape, incest, sa) being written are fiction and it is (most often) done by someone marginalized who has either experienced this or is in threat of experiencing this under a patriarchy. i assure you, they are aware of its harm. hence the copious warnings in fandom spaces.

if i can be candid, sometimes i think that people forget how systems of oppression work when discussing fandom and whether dark content being created should be allowed or not.

for example, i sometimes think people who are anti-dark content in fandom believe that a woman or afab person writing a fictional fanfic about rape or sexual violence then influences people to go out and rape people or that women actually like it. when the reality, in fandom spaces, is that rape and sexual violence happen frequently under the patriarchy and then these women in fandom write fictional fanfic in response to cope, explore, take control of, etc. etc.

to insinuate that women or afab people (which fandom mostly is) exploring dark content safely in fiction then causes their own oppression and harm or trauma is rather victim-blame-y to me. fandom exploring dark content does not cause these things to happen in our society….these actions (rape, incest, sa) happen in our society or systems of power and fandom reacts to them in their art by exploring it in dark content. do you understand what i’m trying to say?

it’s not a matter of what is ‘okay’ to romanticize and what isn’t. i do not think the romanticization that fandom does with dark content (ie. my kidnapper actually loves me! or this sexual act that i did not consent to…maybe feels good) is not actually romanticizing but coping because of the systems of power that i described above. and this can be coping with anything—shame of sexuality, shame of fantasies, trauma, fear, etc. etc.

as i said in my tags in that post i reblogged and as plato said, dark content in art is a safe place to explore what would otherwise be harmful and dangerous in real life. it is cathartic. potentially even, a purging.

and even if it isn’t all that—maybe it just is trashy fantasy. it is still playing pretend. it is still fiction and in fandom spaces, it is still most likely being created by a marginalized person. and again, even if it isn’t, we don’t get to censor it. we can be critical of it or wary or whatever, but to censor it, is a slippery, slippery slope. do deem some topics as “acceptable” and others as “unacceptable” is dangerous.

just like kids play pretend where they ‘fight’ or ‘kill’ or ‘kidnap’ or ‘shoot’ each other in games of cops and robbers or heroes and villains, they are safely exploring adventure, dark content, fantasy, tragedy, and higher emotions. adults can do the same in fiction and with adult topics like sex.

and at the end of the day, we don’t get to demand the credentials to do so either. we don’t get to censor them or control them and nor should we be allowed to. i cannot stress enough that i encourage you to be critical of censorship or the absolute disgust in dark content and at those (again—often marginalized people) who engage with it in fandom. i believe it is deeply puritanical, conservative, and dangerous.

you don’t have to like dark content or consume it at all and fandom makes it easy not to with all the warnings and tags, but you cannot control others or police them. nor should you want to.

and at the end of the day, i have some questions for you. you don’t have to respond to this, perhaps they’re just things to think about. what is the end goal here? what is the point in harassing, shaming, attacking, criticizing, or interrogating people in fandom spaces who create or support dark content? do you believe that if it is purged from fandom, it will be purged from our society? if you want it purged from society—shouldn’t you start there rather than in the inbox of marginalized writers in fandom? people in fandom did not create rape, incest, and sa nor do they in their exploration of fiction…they are merely reacting to a world that did create it.

i hope at no point i came off as rude to you, as was not my intention. i intended to stand up for myself and respectfully state my opinions and thoughts on this matter. i’m sorry it got long, but also i don’t believe in being brief on such complex matters. i am a writer who engages critically with the world around me and sometimes, things cannot be made into short, snappy answers. sometimes, we must unpack.

genuinely wishing you well.

[missgryffin]

lying in wait

Randomly listened to some Hamilton over the weekend, ended up with "Wait For It" stuck in my head, and wrote this in a couple hours today. I think it's angst, but with a nice dash of crack? Idk 😅 But I hope it makes you smile! 🫶 below + AO3

November 3, 1981

The cottage is silent, save for the ticking of the old grandfather clock in the hall, and it’s already pitch dark, with only the faint glow of street lamps and budding moonlight shining in through rain-slicked windows. 

Lily draws up her knees to her chest where she sits on the sofa, peering mindlessly into blurry windowpane. She doesn’t remember the last time she walked aimlessly down a road, or went into a shop. Sometimes, on stormy autumn nights like this, she wonders if she ever will again. 

Footsteps tumble down the stairs, then come to an abrupt halt. 

“Lil?” She can see his shadowed outline, one hand in his hair. “You just…sitting in the dark?”

She shrugs, though he probably can’t see, and asks, “Harry went down alright, then?” 

James chuckles to himself as he crosses the room, picking his way around the furniture until he drops onto the sofa next to her. “After reading every book twice and playing the Snitch game for thirty minutes…yes.” He leans closer, grinning. “Our son is asleep.” 

She rests a hand on his scruffy cheek. “It’s only supposed to be ten minutes of the Snitch game,” she teases him. 

“I know,” James sighs. “But he asked for ten more.” 

Lily snorts. “What, and then ten more after that?” 

He throws his hands weakly in his lap. “Wha—am I supposed to say no to the kid? He looks just like me!” 

She falls into him, a laughing heap, and for a moment, they simply giggle deliriously together. It’s nice. It’s normal. Or at least a sliver of it.

James cuddles her into him, and Lily breaths him in. They’ve lost so many over the few years since Hogwarts, but they still have each other. She clings on to that, to him.

“I love you,” she says into his chest. 

He kisses the top of her head. “I love you, too.”

A stretching silence; a heavy sigh. “It’s his birthday.” 

“I know,” James murmurs. “I can’t stop thinking about him.” 

Lily peels herself off his chest and swings a leg over his lap, sitting with her arms looped around his neck. How many conversations have they had over the years while sitting just like this? How many more will they get? 

“He said he’d be in touch by today.” Her mind won’t stop racing. “What if this was a bad id—” 

“It wasn’t,” James cuts her off. “Besides.” A heavy sigh. “It was…our only idea.”

“Do you think…” She pauses, plays with his hair. “Do you think we…did the right thing?” 

He sits up straighter, pulling her closer against him. “You’re the only two people in my life I know I can trust completely,” he says. “So yeah, I think we did.” 

There’s no use rehashing it again; they’ve done that enough. Yes, he now has a target on his back, but it’s not like he wasn’t already a target before. No, it couldn’t have been anyone else—not Albus, who knows more than he’s saying; not Remus, whom Albus and Sirius both suspect; and not Peter, who’s been looking exhausted and strung-out from the night-shift reconnaissance he’s been assigned. Yes, he had to leave. And no, it wasn’t cowardly to do so.

Granted, that last bit had taken a not insignificant amount of convincing (damned Gryffindor), but he eventually came around to their idea. Staying around in England with Voldemort sure to be onto him was certain death. But why not take advantage of being top of Voldemort’s mind? Why make it easy, when instead he could make it hard? Give the Order a leg up? Let them use him (or rather, the idea of him) as bait to lure and manipulate all the Death Eaters looking for him, and maybe even root out the spy in the process? And really, if anyone was going to lead Voldemort on a wild goose chase, setting traps and lying in wait, who better than Sirius Black?

Still, she worries. She can’t help it. And she knows James worries too, even if he does do a better job of hiding it. 

There’s only one thing left to do, really; only one way to pass the time sufficiently distracted from racing thoughts. James must read her mind, because he’s all eager hands and excited tongue when she kisses him. Maybe it’s unhealthy, how much they’ve used sex to cope the past year. But when his mouth feels like this and hair’s in her hands…she’s not sure she cares.

“Prongs!”

They jump, springing apart like they’re fifth years caught after curfew. James swears under his breath as they fumble to right the clothes they’d started shoving aside before he reaches for the small mirror sitting on the coffee table.

“Padfoot!” 

Lily frantically feels around the sofa for her wand. 

“Why’s it so dar—oh, don’t tell me you were just—”

“We were waiting for you,” James covers. 

“Mate. That’s worse. Just say you were shagging.” 

“Well, we weren’t yet.”

“Hi, Sirius.” She brandishes her now-glowing wand, recovered from the seam between the cushions. 

“Lily! Looking rumpled as ever!” 

She yanks her cardigan back up her shoulder as she scolds, “Shut it.”

“I miss you, too.” 

They can only see Sirius’s chin in frame, and it seems like he’s moving around. 

“Happy birthday, man,” James says.

“Thanks.” 

“Where are you?” 

“Hang on—I have to show you—ready?” 

“Yeah?” 

His face comes into view and Lily instantly gasps. 

Sirius grins. “Like it?” 

His once shoulder-length hair’s been chopped off stylishly short in a fresh cut that makes him look like old Hollywood charm in that loose button-down he has on. 

“Damn, Pads!” 

“I…barely recognize you,” Lily stammers. 

“Well.” He adjusts the mirror closer to his face. “That’s sorta the point.” 

A heavy pit settles in her stomach. 

“How you been?” James asks. “Travel go okay?” 

“Yeah, fine.” Sirius shrugs. “I’ve been doing things the Muggle way—that Muggle Studies N.E.W.T.’s finally paying off, who woulda thought.”

“Where are you now?”

The mirror turns around, panning over an ocean-side city lit up with lights through a set of patio doors. “Cannes,” he says, and Lily hears the grin in his voice. The mirror turns back to his face. “I have access to money here, dad’s side of the family, in the French bank. And I figure…” He flops back atop a hotel bed, one hand beneath his head. “If Voldemort wants to come get me, he’ll just have to bring his snakey arse down to the beach, won’t he?”

They all bust up into snorting, wheezing laughter. It’s not normal; none of it’s normal. But laughing with her husband and their best friend like this is the closest to normal she’s felt in a long time, and she thinks, if this is how life has to be for awhile, she can live with it.

[enbesbians]

just a little ramble because im confused and unsure if im getting the wrong idea…

my boss is a very mean woman. the place ive been working at ive worked for almost two years and from the time spent, all i hear from other managers and coworkers is that she’s an asshole. they’d tell me the thing she does and wrongly accused and it’s like, damn? she’s really fucked up….

with that being said, she’s a tiny woman. older but not elderly— a mom with a husband but all she ever does is talk shit about the guy. i don’t work with her as often since shes usually there in the mornings and im at night but every time i work with her she’s oddly nice to me. she jokes around with me a lot… not causally… a lot. whenever we do work at the same time, she places me in an area that’s close to hers and she’s always talking to me about something random or asking about me. one time she was saying, “oh i wish we worked together more often” and at that point i started thinking of the wrong idea… but the again she’s married.

i ask other managers if i fuck up a lot because she’s always telling people what they don’t do right and each one of them say, ‘you’re doing fine. she doesn’t talk bad about you at all.’ which i find weird because there’s places where i lack… i could be a little bit faster with what i do and speed is one of our biggest goals but she says im doing fine whenever i personally ask her even though there would be people performing better than me and she complains to them.

she doesn’t help out as much but when we work together she’s constantly helping me and picking stuff up after me and making little playful jokes opposed to being very passive aggressive with other people… the tone of her voice is very telling too. she’ll talk to other coworkers in a way where i think, ‘damn… you’re gonna let her talk to you like that?’. she drops things and bends down right in front of me and touches my waist when she passes by me. she even laughs in a way that’s really loud and dramatized when i say something.

she’s given me a ride twice and she’d ask me about myself. i mentioned that i was a lesbian and she said she knew???? she told me she could tell and then started talking about relationships rather than work. she’s given me her leftover food at times when im at break, willingly buying a certain type of food for me when i was talking to coworker and she wasn’t even in the conversation.

another thing is when it comes to scheduling, she assigns them. for the people she doesn’t like she barely puts them on… yet there’d be times where id work almost eight days straight. since the day i worked there people talked about our hours being cut after the holidays yet mine never was. i still work a whole fucking lot and when i ask for days off, she doesn’t think twice before letting me have those days… even when i call off she’s not mad????

just last night, before i came into work, my work wife told me that she was being a complete ‘bitch’. being snarky and agitated towards everyone but once i came in she was all bubbly and happy. still doing that playful banter she likes to do. she compared our heights, made everyone do my work (which i hate because im like working when im in the mindset to). two coworkers came up to me and asked why she was being so nice to me and one of the said, ‘i think she has a thing for you’. i was relieved that i wasn’t the only one who noticed.

am i just going insane or…?

[vhstown]

hi guys shower thoughts in word form what's new 💀

why miles g is the perfect foil to miles — a long post

disclaimer: i obviously do NOT know what will happen in btsv. some of this devolves into external information like from the art book (or even just my own headcanons). i am also not an analyst. this is not a proper analysis by any means. also quite rambly so bare with me 😭

also i will be referring to 1610!miles as miles and 42!miles as miles g.

just so we're sure: a foil in literature is defined as "a character who is presented as a contrast to a second character so as to point to or show to advantage some aspect of the second character" (via britannica)

essentially one character exposes the flaw(s) of another character (usually by being the opposite of said character)

i talked about miles' attachment to the superficial goal of "being Spider-Man" in a separate post (which is long n kind of irrelevant so im not linking it here) but essentially the point i want to bring back is that 1610 miles is obsessed with the idea and IDENTITY of being New York's Spider-Man and being a hero and that is the complete opposite to miles g, who is arguably the PERFECT foil — it's literally a parallel version of himself

but first a bit of ramble about the start of the movie under the cut! (open)

you can see it in the way miles falls perfectly into the typical witty, effortless and loved hero in the way he fights at the start of the movie. when he's fighting the spot you're thrown into this false sense of security that everything's going to be okay and it's just another "villain of the week" because that's what you expect of Spider-Man. he has his usual quips and carefree interactions with the spot and we have no idea that he's about to take apart the entire multiverse

the spot as a character is one of my favourite villains EVER because he directly challenges this notion of what it means to be Spider-Man — you always expect the good guys to win and when they lose again and again to the spot, that's when everything we know, and MILES knows, falls apart. the spot is a brutal exposition of how futile "heroism" as a concept is to the spiderverse.

as a character miles so badly wants to be in the spider society in the first place because he thinks that's where it's at — that's where he can finally BE a real spiderman and fit in

so when all of his beliefs are challenged and he's forced to fight to SURVIVE rather than to win that's the turning point of his character. in the grand scheme of things to put it lightly this whole "spiderman" identity is bull

and also id like to point out that hobie's line of "im not a hero, cause calling your self a hero makes you a self-mythologising narcissistic autocrat" is SUCH a gut-punch when you realise this. my boy KNEW but miles had to realise it for himself obviously so he pissed off when he had nothing else to add. I LOVE HOBIE BRO—

in my other post i talked about how he attributes his security to his home universe, family and friends and then that changes to wanting to be a part the spider society (so security in his identity), but when he's kicked out, his main goals focus around his home universe again — he needs to save his dad

putting him in earth 42 is the final sort of way for the movie to say "look at yourself miles" because to him, he can't give up that want to be spiderman so easily. a part of him hopes that he can just go back home and be spiderman like normal, that's why he tells his "mom" (earth 42 rio) that he's spiderman even though that probably won't help him at all — he is still stagnant in his old ways

and thats where miles g comes in — picture his exact universe but where's miles is the "villain" (to him at least, he doesn't know that the prowler is actually a vigilante)

to give you the basics, miles g has NO super powers, he's a vigilante who has to HIDE from the public, he's not "friendly" — nothing like miles' picture of spiderman. again, he fights to do good, but also for survival — the sinister six are attacking HIS neighbourhood and HIS home so HE has to do something about it

of course that's not to say that they're completely different. miles g has all his cool gear and aesthetics for a reason. maybe deep down he wants to be like the superheroes that he sees in comics (assuming hes anything like 1610 miles) and/or he wants to live up to, or exceed his uncle in being the prowler

but it's far less superficial than just that. he's been forced into this more practical and REAL mindset about what it means to be a "hero" from the start — and now 1610 miles is too

miles g doesn't necessarily have a greater sense of duty. he doesn't concern himself with miles' universe because it's HIS — ("our dad—" "your dad.") and thats the reality check that miles needs, at least in this moment, that he's alone and that he needs to get the HELL out of there and save his dad — not the multiverse.

of course this might be a point of character development for miles g he's obviously not a perfect character and has his own trauma and backwards beliefs to overcome but he's in many ways a product of his environment

it re-emphasises to miles the importance of saving his dad — protecting what he has left because he has nothing else (his only sense of security anymore). the multiverse is this far away thing now and i think this could be explored as a spiteful rejection in btsv which he has to overcome but im obviously not sure

the real kicker is that in this universe aaron davis is alive and jefferson is dead. looking at this from a wider perspective, in my very convoluted opinion, on a surface level, JEFFERSON represents "the hero" and AARON represents "the villain". this is arguably why aaron "has to die" in earth 1610, because "good always prevails" (which is very clearly MESSED UP, which miles is coming to realise more and more)

okay now hear me out. in the SAME WAY miles represents "the hero" and miles g represents "the villain" — but we obviously know that it's more nuanced than that

and the respective fates of aaron and jeff clearly show to miles that it is NOT that simple. it's not a matter of "good over evil" because if that was the case his father wouldn't be dead.

and obviously thematically this ties into expectations of the future generation and overcoming archaic beliefs and failures of the past and hope in youth and blah blah blah (i actually love this theme it is just not talked about enough unfortunately but this video by elliot sang is a beautiful exploration of it)

miles g and aaron are NOT evil — they're just as much heroic, but not necessarily "heroes". again, that's exposing how superficial the notion of being "spiderman" and "a hero" really is

and this is why hobie is so right about labels and— (MUFFLED SCREAMING)

going back to the spider society when miles says "i thought we were supposed to be the good guys" — this idea of being a hero is really just a front for the spider society's lucrative and cult-like behaviour. you're doing it because it's your duty as a hero, you're letting people die because that's what's supposed to happen, because it's for the "greater good" (when it was never really about that in the first place but miguel and his "spider-cult" is a whole other topic)

by the end of the film we start to realise all of these things at once and that's what across the spiderverse does SO WELL in my opinion

so why is miles g the perfect foil to miles? to summarise, miles g encapsulates (at the very least on a surface level) the complete opposite of what it means to be the hero "Spider-Man". his entire universe is a parallel to earth 1610, and to miles, miles g exposes the flaws in miles' view about what heroism truly is.

neither of them are perfect characters, and we're yet to see much about miles g, but miles' development as a character and the way it's explored in such a self-realising way as well as thematically throughout all of across the spiderverse is something i will always love about the movie

im so excited to see if they'll team up as well!!!! so much potential

urrrrr thank you for coming to my ted talk ANYWAYS I LOVE HOBIE BROW— (THE CROWD BOOS) (SEVERAL TOMATOES ARE THROWN)

as always let me know your thoughts id SO love to hear them ^^ this was just a shower thought i was literally shampooing my hair and was like hold on a minute.... so there's definitely things to be added! take care n cya <3

[limbus-datamines]

Samjo Announcer Lines

Long Post, under cut

id": "announcer_cheer_15_1", "dlg": "As you are well aware, I am not very skilled at providing emotional support. A quick solution is always preferable to sweet but empty words of commiseration, isn't it?"

"id": "announcer_cheer_15_2", "dlg": "I have purchased some pies of encouragement on the way as per Chief Dongrang's orders, but I don't suppose you are in any state to consume them. Please enjoy it vicariously through me. (nom)"

"id": "announcer_specialcheer_15_1", "dlg": "Question. I see that your employees are in a critical state. Do you plan to inject them with regeneration ampules?"

"id": "announcer_specialcheer_15_2", "dlg": "It is time to take a closer look at your own employees. They all look a bit dazed, don't they?"

"id": "announcer_enemy_break_15_1", "dlg": "There's an off-balance enemy. You could easily knock them down with a quick tap to their forehead."

"id": "announcer_ally_break_15_1", "dlg": "Warning. Some employees are looking rather disheveled. Oh, I am quite willing to provide you a 30% discount on our collection of regeneration ampules, by the way."

"id": "announcer_killenemy_15_1", "dlg": "The enemy is neutralized. Chief Dongrang should have seen that… He always teased me for having no talent when it comes to fighting."

"id": "announcer_ally_dead_15_1", "dlg": "Gracious. An employee is completely dead. As per our company policy, we will hold a two-hour moment of silence for the deceased."

"id": "announcer_enemy_adv_15_1", "dlg": "The enemy has the upper hand… but there is no need to worry. I will show you how I managed to claim us the Department of the Month award."

"id": "announcer_ally_adv_15_1", "dlg": "The employees are at an advantage. Oh, Chief Dongrang just told us that he will take us all to a fancy team dinner if we ace this battle. There will be prime beef imported straight from S Corp."

"id": "announcer_danger_15_1", "dlg": "Yes, one of your allies (chewing noises) is nearly dead. (more chewing noises). Mm… The pepper chili lettuce curry-flavored pie certainly has the best flavor profile."

"id": "announcer_enemy_specialskill_15_1", "dlg": "The enemy is gearing up to throw us a curveball. Why not prepare the employees so they can turn it into a home-run?"

"id": "announcer_enemy_specialgimmick_15_1", "dlg": "The enemies are attempting an odd tactic. I personally detest such duplicitous methods. A fight has to be fair and square, don't you agree?"

"id": "announcer_advatk_physical_15_1", "dlg": "Impressive strike. I suppose this is what a home-run would feel like, had I been a big-City baseball player."

"id": "announcer_disadvatk_physical_15_1", "dlg": "That attack did not match the type of attack the enemy is weak to. If I had to make a comparison, I would compare your strategy to diving headfirst into an unfathomably deep pool."

"id": "announcer_advatk_attr_15_1", "dlg": "Quite an effective attack. I see that my orders were perfectly executed."

"id": "announcer_disadvatk_attr_15_1", "dlg": "Allow me to retort. Your attack was completely ineffective. Clearly, this is what happens when I look away even for a second…"

"id": "announcer_enemy_specialbuff_15_1", "dlg": "There is something powering up the enemy. But do remember: in every peril is an opportunity waiting to be found. That's the quote I used to get through 43 different companies' document screenings."

"id": "announcer_enemy_specialdebuff_15_1", "dlg": "The enemy is at a disadvantage. This is the perfect time to stab them in the back."

"id": "announcer_ally_specialbuff_15_1", "dlg": "You are now all under the influence of a positive effect. Well, not that it's my doing, but… please do enjoy anyway."

"id": "announcer_ally_specialdebuff_15_1", "dlg": "You are now all under the influence of a negative effect. Keep your guard up, or be prepared to get wiped out."

"id": "announcer_enemy_destroy_15_1", "dlg": "You've destroyed a part. I'd say the enemy is now like fried chicken without the drumsticks. Can't get much worse than that, can it?"

"id": "announcer_enemy_destroy_15_2", "dlg": "One of your enemies has a broken part. Focus your attacks there."

"id": "announcer_round_takebigdmg_15_1", "dlg": "Several of the employees are hurt. Why don't you hand out some nutrient supplements for them after this battle?"

"id": "announcer_round_takebigdmg_15_2", "dlg": "An employee is… under quite the stress. Here's a quick way to raise their morale: tell them that you'll reward them with free-to-use PTO as soon as this fight's over. Works every time."

"id": "announcer_round_givebigdmg_15_1", "dlg": "The enemy is critically wounded. It's clear that having someone competent on the mic is helping with your team's performance. Oh, no need to thank me."

"id": "announcer_round_givebigdmg_15_2", "dlg": "Good. Let's keep going at this pace. The Department of the Year trophy is almost ours; the higher-ups will be watching me."

"id": "announcer_multikillenemy_15_1", "dlg": "One of the employees has displayed a superb performance. 85% of that performance could be attributed to my assistance, however. This is not a boast; it is a fact-based statistical conclusion."

"id": "announcer_equip_15_1", "dlg": "Pleasure. Samjo from the Food Resource Development Department's Research Center. I've been dispatched to help with a K Corp. excision mission. Hopefully my audiovisual assistance may be of help to you."

[enby-iggy]

Im going to try and explain my gender to the 0 people who are paying attention to this blog, because I deserve to ramble a little bit I think

For context I'm afab. I've pretty much always known I wasn't a man, which is a big part of why it took me so long to question my gender at all. I specifically remember seeing the term transmasc online when I was first discovering queer terms and being like "hmm I wonder if that could be me" and then looking it up and seeing it listed as a synonym for trans man and just being like "oh ok then guess im still cis". I didn't start seriously questioning until like. April of this year I think

I don't know why it took me so long to consider the idea of being nonbinary, but it was actually a conversation with some of my trans friends that made me consider it. I remember saying something like "I may be cis but I'd trade my female body for a completely neutral one in a heartbeat" and one of my friends was like "r u sure ur cis lmao". Silly stuff. My whole thing was like, I want a body that looks like nothing, that I can make look like anything. If I want to wear mens' clothes I don't want boobs that get in the way of that. But I want to be able to wear a dress and not have like, idk body hair and a dick getting in the way of that. And I said stuff to my friends like, I don't rly want hormones but Id wear a binder to look more neutral, Id voice train and get my voice deeper, that makes sense right

My biggest hangup was on pronouns, because I was REALLY proud of being a she/her. But I decided, hey I can't knock they/them until I try it right? So I proposed a they/them test for a week, and never looked back lmao. I went through a phase of absolutely despising she/her for a month or two, but I've since made up with the pronoun set as you can see in my bio. She/her and I are good friends now we've settled our differences <3

Putting the rest under a cut for the sake of my 2 followers' TLs not being flooded because I still have much to say

My gender is very multifaceted, but in the physical realm you could call me transmasc. It took me a while to realize but I hate my boobs (or rather, took me a while to realize that disliking your boobs is not normal lmfao), to the point where I very quickly went from "eh I might get a binder for some outfits" to "I NEED to get top surgery". I'm also not a fan of my hips and ass, never have been but I don't think there's much I can do about that one. I also have solid evidence for vocal dysphoria, in that I can remember a specific time as a kid where I learned that your voice sounds deeper to you than it does to other people because of the way you hear it through your skull. This disappointed me GREATLY because I always prided myself on the idea that I had a boyish voice. I do think I'd like to train my voice lower, if possible. Lastly for physical dysphoria I've always had a thing about my height, but I mostly learned to ignore it since boys LOVE to make fun of girls (and other boys I suppose) for their height. I learned to shut it out and make fun of myself as well as a coping mechanism, because it really did and always has bugged me. But what can I do, I've 5 foot even at 19 years old and it doesn't seem to be changing any time soon.

As for my internal experience of gender...I think this low-quality ms paint chart will explain it best.

Basically my gender exists on two simultaneous sliding scales--one of them a distinctly gendered outside-of-binary gender that I'm choosing to call neutrois, because it's an existing term that works for what I'm talking about. The other gender is a female-aligned gender that is distinct from cisgender femininity but is still feminine in nature, which I am choosing to call femme because I hate the words woman and girl and female in relation to my own gender. I can experience both of these scales at maximum intensity--bigendered as both neutrois and femme at the same time--or minimum intensity--essentially agendered, no distinct experience of gender either way--OR I can be some strange combination of these, such as minimum femme and maximum neutrois or half neutrois and full femme, etc. I've found that the strength of ANY gender fluctuates over longer periods of time, in that I tend to feel low amounts of gender for a period of about two weeks, followed by higher feelings of gender for about two weeks, during which the relation of femme to neutrois fluctuates on a daily basis.

As for labels, the best way I can think to describe this is bigenderflux, and also demigirl (or demifemme, as I prefer to call it). But for obvious reasons I usually just call myself nonbinary. I also like terms like librafemme, describing the property of being both agender and feminine, and juxera, describing the property of being feminine aligned in a way that is different from the way cis women are feminine. But it's...hard to label.

The funny thing about this is that it doesn't really line up with my gender expression much at all. There are days that I'm feeling fully agender or fully neutrois, and am strangely in the mood to wear a dress. Or days that I'm feeling mostly femme and want to present like a boy. So realistically my gender doesn't really have any bearing on anything at all. But I like charting it, because a few months ago if I'd woken up feeling feminine I would have spiraled into a panic about how I must be faking being trans. But this allows me to understand myself and predict how I'll feel so I know that when I feel a certain way, that's normal and part of who I am.

I feel like I had more to say in this post but I guess this is purely a gender summary. Now you know I guess

[piercethenix]

a very long list of sleep token lyrics that make me feel more religious than i ever did at church

"wont you come and dance in the dark with me? show me what you are i am desperate to know"

"im coiled up like a venomous serpent tangled in your trance and im certain you have got your hooks in me"

"and i dont wanna get in your way but i finally think i can say that the vicious cycle was over the moment you smiled at me"

"and i know i know the way that it goes you get what you give, you reap what you sow and i can see you in my fate. and i know i know i am what i am the mouth of the wolf the eyes of the lamb so darling, will you saturate?"

"lets load the gun. make her eat the tape in the bathroom mirror see if she can guess what a hollow point does to a naked body"

"so flood me like atlantic, weather me to nothing. wash away the blood on my hands"

YOU MAKE ME WISH I COULD DISAPPEARRRRR

"and just like the rain you cast the dust into nothing and wash out the salt from my hands. so touch me again, i feel my shadow dissolving"

"they talk me through the damage, consequence and how its a pain they know they dont understand"

"when the mouth of infinity buries its teeth in me, ill smile through the agony for you. and i know you still bear the weight of your own existence and youll never bear the weight of two"

"well, i know what you want from me. you want someone to be your reflection, your bitter deception setting you free. so take what you want and leave"

"rose gold chains, ripped lace, cut glass, blood stains on the collar, please just dont ask"

"give in again and let me lay, my arms belong around you"

"i come as a blade, a sacred guardian. so you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood"

"id turn my walls to gold to bring you home again"

SO SHOW ME THAT WHICH I CANNOT SEE EVEN IF IT HURTS ME EVEN IF I CANT SLEEP OH AND THOUGH WE ACT OUT OF OUR HOLY DUTY TO BE CONSTANTLY AWAAAKKEEEE YOUVE GOT ME IN A CHOKEHOLD

"and im not here to be the savior you long for, only the one you dont. are you watching me with eyes of a predator as you move towards the door?"

"show me those pretty white jaws show me where the delicate stops show me what youve lost and why youre always taking it slow show me what wounds youve got show me love"

"i am the shadow, youre a passenger. i am the intake of breath so sharp and i know you better. just want to know you better"

"if you want to give then give me all that you can give all your darkest impules and if you want to give me anything then give give in again"

"ill tear the fibre from the filamemt, ill be the limit of your light again. i want to taste you better i want to taste you better. i will be watching for your enemies, to let them know that they contend with me"

"between the second hand smoke and the glass on the street you gave me nothing whatsoever but a reason to leave. you say you want me but you know im not what you need but i am"

IF YOU HAD A PROBLEM THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE YOU STARTED GETTING ALL AGGRESSIVE AND CONTROLLING YOU ONLY DRINK THE WATER WHEN YOU THINK ITS HOLY SO KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD OR WE WILL BOTH BE HERE FOREVERRRR

"nevermind the death threats parting at the door wed rather be six feet under than be lonely"

WHY ARE YOU NEEEEVERR REAL THE SHIFTING STATES YOU FOLLOW ME THROUGH UNNNREVEALED

"yet in reverse you are all my symmetry, a parallel i would lay my life on. so if your wings wont find you heaven i will bring it down like an ancient bygone"

"i know for the last time, you will not be mine. so give me the night, the night, the night"

"and i hate who i have become (i might break and bend to my basic need to be loved and close to somebody)"

"most days you reach for safety. remain calm, forget that you know me"

DARLING IM NOTICING YOUR FLAWS THEYRE EXACTLY WHAT I WANT EVEN IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME, KNOW IT

"it seems your heart is locked up and i still get the combination wrong. or are you simply waiting to save your love for someone i am not?"

"is that a glint in your eye? is that a blade in your palm? well, i am yours tonight so will you lay in my arms?"

"i want to feel my stars align again, even if the earth breaks like burnt skin and the heavens just wont open up for me. would you invite me in again? wont you pay for your arrogance? wont you show me your weakness?"

[grumelot123]

"I'm trying so hard to hate you." Good Omens, Crowley x Aziraphale (1/?)

Tw: Angst, foul language

(Angst at first then a happy ending) I am so sorry that this is so long.

This is all set, let's say 3 months after Season 2 Episode 6

Starting out with AZIRAPHALES POV!

Today has been one of the...longest days I've had being Archangel. and that's saying something seeing battling with not picking up that phone to call Crowley is an everyday battle that occurs.

Maybe today is the day I lost that battle.

Even if I wanted to call him, what would I say?

"Hey know I rejected you but want to forget all of that and just come to Heaven with me?" I'm pathetic. Can't even keep my own friend. Not even my friend but my best friend. Someone who I even could have called my boyfriend. Mine. But I threw it all away. To protect him. But he'll never know that. He wouldn't even give me the time of day. Which I'd understand, if I were him I'd do the same.

I just wish there was some way to fix this, to fix us.

CROWLEY POV AHAHAH WAHOO

It's been 3 months since...the thing.

He hasn't even called. Even if he doesn't like me, wouldn't he still want to be friends? Maybe he never wanted to be friends in the first place. He did kind of get stuck with me all these years.

I want to call him. But what would I tell him?

"Hey even though I told you I wanted it to be us and you come with me somewhere to get away from everything, and even though you rejected me, still wanna be best friends?" Maybe he's moved on. Actually made more friends up there. Forgot about me. I miss him so much it hurts.

I wish we could go back to normal. Our normal. Us.

AZIRAPHALE POV

Paperwork is officially the most boring thing to do anywhere and everywhere. I'd rather be fixing Armageddon all over again.

*alarm goes off throughout Heaven*

"What's going on?" I stand up and run out to see what's going on.

"Aziraphale! Something's going on down on Earth with the Antichrist child! He's becoming evil again! You stopped Armageddon once before? Can you go try to fix it again?"

I was J-O-K-I-N-G about the Armageddon thing.

"W-well I mean I'll have to try won't I? How much time do we have till, you know?" I know I'm stuttering and sounding breathless but first of all..the worlds gonna end. Second of all there is a chance that this could be an excuse for me to see Crowley.

"I'd say 5-7 days? We aren't sure what's going on, or what's got him mad this time. But when you go down it would probably be good you had some company with you."

"Thanks for the advice but I think I have someone in mind that'll be of some assistance" I practically ran out because 1. Saving the world. and 2. Crowley is going to need a lot of convincing.

Hope he still has my number?

CROWLEY POV!

I check up on Angels bookshop twice a week, for a few reasons. Hope, that he will return to me and understand. Worry, that something will go wrong and Muriel will sell a book. And Anger, that he left me. He left us.

Unfortunately for me I would go to hell and back for him literally and physically. Because I love him. I love Aziraphale.

*ring CALLER ID Angel*

"Speak of the fucking Angel?"

Uh do I answer? I mean I shouldn't but, I have to. for him. I'd do anything. Even if this is false hope.

"What do ya want? sUprEme aRchAngEl AziRaph-"

He cut me off. "Yea yea I know really funny and all but there's a problem. Like world ending Armageddon 2 problem? I need your help, where are you?" He sounded frantic and almost rushed. He's not lying about something being wrong but why is he asking me for help? Just because he knows I will?

"Oh. So that's the only reason you called me? Just because there's a problem and you know I'll do it? So that's all I am to you? A last resort?" There was a hint of hurt in my voice. Which is good because I was. I knew we ended on bad terms, but i didn't think..

I was interrupted out of my thoughts with an opening of a bookshop door, along with something almost like a strangled sob. It was Aziraphale.

"No..no Crowley I didn't call you because I knew you'd do it. I called you because you are the only one who can do it. Well do it with me. I can't work with anyone the way I work with you. You will never be a last resort to me my dear because you are the first person I'd go to."

He steps closer. My glasses start to fog up and I realize that I must have started crying as soon as he even called.

"You are my first choice Crowley. I've made wrong ones with you the last time we spoke. And even though these last 3 months have felt like indeed literal hell. It was worth it. Not because I didn't want to see you, but because I did it to protect you" He was still crying but he had mostly calmed down, his voiced had pretty much steadied. But as I thought more of myself I was sobbing, uncontrollably.

Protect me? That was the only problem? He was worried about my safety?

"S-so you like me?" Shit. shit. I just fucked it up, of course he doesn't. Why would he? I'm just a fallen ang-

"Crowley you're overthinking. I can tell by the look on your face. Nothing but the worst is going through your head. Look at me" He was worried. But he still hadn't answered my question. But still I looked at him. Looked into those beautiful eyes of his that I've tried so hard to forget. I swear I got lost for a moment.

He reached his hand up. At first it was to wipe off a tear. Then he went for the glasses. At first, as reflex I grabbed his wrist. But softly let go, waiting for his next move. He took my glasses off and slowly set them in his pocket, and he just looked at me, with a crooked like smile.

"How are you Crowley?" It was a simple question really, he said it so soft, so calm it was almost like a whisper.

"W-well you left me Aziraphale. If I'm going to be honest with you I am not okay. I'm tired, sad, and nervous. Tired, of restless nights not once getting a call from you. I'm sad because you have not reached out to me even once. But most of all I'm nervous, nervous that you've found someone else and will soon want nothing to do with me." At this point I was out of breath, I haven't talked to Aziraphale in months but here I was opening up.

"There's another feeling you have. Don't ask me how I know but I can tell, what else are you feeling my dear?"

And that's what did it.

"Hatred. I love you so much Aziraphale it hurts. Hurts so much I hate it. You leave my life so I try to forget you, tell myself it'll be a memory in the past but then you show up, months later, because everything and anything I've ever wanted and it just hurts. I'm trying so hard to hate you. But GOD AZIRAPHALE I just can't!" This time I let my anger be heard and even slammed my hands down on the table at the end for good measure. At first Aziraphale was shocked. But after not even five seconds...

He laughed at me. I had just poured my heart out to this Angel. My Angel. And he had the audacity to laugh at me?!? But what he said next..could have thrown my hatred away never to be felt again.

"Did you know that my favorite color is yellow Crowley?"

What the actual fuck?

"Well, yeah but why the fuck is this relevant to what I was saying?"

I was genuinely confused.

Silence.

Then he came over to me, lips almost touching, and he whispered.

"What color are your eyes Crowley?"

My eyes? Ther- Oh my, I'm a dumb ass hoe.

"Y-yellow?" I said breathing heavily, with Aziraphale being near me it was intoxicating. In the best way possible.

"Yea they are. Do you want to know why, even if you never stop trying to hate me, the reason I could never hate you?" He replied getting a little bit closer..I could feel the heat between our lips, just there..waiting for one of us to close the space.

"Why, no, what is the reason you could never hate me Aziraphale?"

I asked this question with the same amount of uncertainty as there was determination.

"That is because, my dear Crowley. I love you so much, that no matter what you did, said, or felt. I could never hate you."

Thats when he finally closed the gap between our lips.

At first, it was only a small kiss, to test the waters, but as soon as he figured out where I stood in this, he went in for as much as he could, refusing to come up for air. I don't think I have ever been kissed like this before, it was soft but comforting. But also at the same time hard and filled with love. It was like we were 2 teenagers that had no idea when to stop.

After what felt like hours, I was the first one to let up for air.

"We need to talk about this" As soon as I pulled away I already missed his warmth and wanted more but, we may have bigger problems.

"Yes of course, we have all but 5-7 days to talk all we want, but how about we talk just at the hotel?"

Hotel? Since when?

Armageddon. I was so caught with- nevermind that. We have a whole god damn world to save then we can worry about ourselves.

"Yes, yea the hotel. I'll get the car"

There was no way I was letting Aziraphale do this alone is there? Nah.

"Wait you're actually coming with?" Azi replied sounding genuinely confused with the whole situation.

"Well of course. You'd have to kill me to get away from you darling"

We may only have 5-7 days to live. Trying to stop Armageddon is not at all what I'd like to be doing. But if I'm spending it with my Angel?

Last days well spent.

PART 1 IS FINISHED!

Thoughts?

[tg-headcanons]

Heyo!! I recently watched tokyo ghoul pinto and wanted to know what you thought of it (if you've watched it)!

I DID AND I LOVE IT BUCKLE UP BECAUSE IM RANTING ABOUT HOW GOOD IT WAS

Tokyo ghoul pinto has it all. Ghouls doing average things, a glimpse into Shuu’s past, how humans view ghouls, HORI, and most of all, possibly the best and most important part of Shuu’s lore

So it comes as no surprise that I love Tsukiyama. He is my chew toy, my purse dog, a bug in a jar, my rotten soldier, my good time boy who I am putting in a dog crate and kicking down the stairs, because he is so interesting and bitchy. And in pinto I think we see the biggest, core arc of why Shuu is the way he is and what forces him to change

Shuu Tsukiyama has never faced consequences

We already know what he’s like. He’s grand, he’s fruity, he has access to social circles and hobbies that are both revolting to most and highly sought by few, but are, most importantly, a rich man’s game. Shuu may be a ghoul, but he has so much money and power that he’s never faced most of the struggles ghouls normally do. Sure he’s still as illegal to exist as the others, but no government agent is going to go after a family so well funded. When he hunts, it’s recreationally. When he’s at his lowest, he has a safety net. When he wants something, he gets it. He has all the time and resources in the world to devote to doing whatever he wants and what he wants is decadence that can not exist without harming people. Decadence that is generally understood to be sadistic and unnecessary, but he doesn’t view it that way because he simply doesn’t consider that there are consequences.

In the opening, we see him doing this. He attacks and kills a runner who he has apparently been tracking for a long time. He’s wearing nice clothes, he’s in a nice neighborhood where people with time feel safe out at night, and he’s doing this not out of hunger, but because he wants this specific meat that’s been toned to perfection. Much in the way someone would prefer a cut of veal over ground beef, he prefers a human body with the perfect taste

Here he’s caught by beloved ratgirl Hori, who gets a picture of him hunting. Now, any other ghoul would have killed her. It’s well established that when a ghoul is seen by a human, they need to kill that human because no matter who they are, it’s a risk to have someone know who they are. However Shuu doesn’t even seem to consider it. He doesn’t have that instinctive bolt of life or death terror like we see in touka or Hinami, because he isn’t like other ghouls. He has money and power and men like him don’t get investigated. So rather than immediately killing her, he treats her as he would a business acquaintance. He takes her out to eat, looks at her ID, and just… let’s her live. Of course he keeps tabs on her, but its very abnormal for a ghoul to let a human who has seen their face, let alone has photographic proof of what they are, just walk away

He trusts that he will see her at school. He trusts that she won’t report him. He thinks that this is a safe bet because, well, why wouldn’t he?

He does keep tabs on her, but he doesn’t even seem to realize how much power he has to do so. Shuu isn’t the one investigating her, his servants are. His servants watch her. Matsumae, his family’s personal school plant that his family can personally afford to train and hire, is the one who gets her information. She offers to kill her for him because this is such a routine, and is surprised when Shuu insists on handling it himself, citing his need to learn how to care for his own issues. This is a surprise because this hasn’t happened before. There’s been plenty of threats that have needed to be neutralized to keep him safe, but it’s not like the great and powerful Tsukiyama has ever had to do the work. Why would he? That’s what servants are for

He is solely at fault for being caught, but nothing bad is going to happen to him. He’s rich and he’s charismatic. Every girl in the school swoons over him because he’s beautiful and says the right words. Every jealous boy in school can’t touch him because can you imagine what his lawyers would do? Not a single person would dare speak badly about him because they know how powerful he is. The only time anyone ever tells him this is a bad idea is when he tells seemingly the only other ghoul student what’s going on. A girl who doesn’t have his money and power. And she tells him exactly what he’s doing

“I can’t believe you allowed this to happen, and yet at the same time I’m not surprised. This is just like you, or rather like your family. They’re so powerful they have influence over politics and business, as their distinguished son you get to live a charmed life. If you’d been brought up in a normal household, you wouldn’t dream of going into the world and making a spectacle of yourself. I’m amazed you’ve gone this long without getting found out”

And she’s right. She is issuing him the only warning that anyone has been willing to tell him. She tells him that the reason he’s alive, the way he lives, isn’t because he’s special, or clever, or beloved by all. It’s because his family is powerful and that’s it. It’s because his family has influence and money, enough to prevent people from looking too close, or digging too deep, or finding all the bodies in his wake. He is immensely privileged to be as cocky as he is and he needs to be careful

He is warned, but he doesn’t listen. Because in his mind, he is the main event, and it’s not only his right, but his duty, to put on a show

Shuu instead continues his game, because to him that’s all this is. To him, this is just a story, and he is the narrator. He invited Chie to the hospital to see the show he’s put on. He tells her about his observations with the aloof certainty only seen in particularly annoying grad students and men who don’t have people in their life kind enough to humble them before their inevitable social philosophy phase. He tells her about one particular interaction between a patient who is so rich that he gets away with all the harassment he wants, and the nurse who is trapped there by social necessities, but takes every opportunity she can to hurt the old man back. He sees this as a particularly human story that he is viewing from the outside, and takes it as an opportunity to show Chie how So Very Enlightened he is about how he sees it. He doesn’t once consider that he has something in common with that old man

Chie, ever the pawn in his game, goes along with it. She goes up with him to the old man’s hospital room. It’s opulent and nicer than anything she could afford, but inside there’s only rotten fruit and a dark, quiet place where the nurse can attack the old man where no one can see. Shuu narrates it like one would a nature documentary. Waxing poetic about how they’re both hiding their awful deeds and both victim and perpetrator, until he decides to step in.

He wants to show her that he is above them. That no matter who is in the right, or who they are, or how strong they are, he by right of power can do whatever he wants to them. He pins the nurse and makes her shut up, he rips the skin off of the old man’s leg and eats it, he makes quite a show of what he’s done and looks back at Chie for her reaction

And gets nothing

Pinto is a story about Shuu. This is what we see as an audience, it’s all from his perspective. This is what Shuu believes as part of the story, he too sees himself as the protagonist here. He’s always the protagonist, he’s always the coolest most interesting person in any room. Everyone loves him, everyone wants him and wants to be him. Shuu is gods specialist boy in every way so why, oh why, is Chie not impressed?

How dare Chie not be impressed?

This entire performance was for himself. She was a prop for him just as these other people were props for her, but he doesn’t seem to understand that. He’s enraged that all this time, no matter what he does, she’s just snapping pictures and listening, but not understanding that he is supposed to be better than her. Something she’s doing for herself. He yells at her, he threatens her, he even leans her out the window to show her that he is capable of killing her. He is asking her, demanding to know, who she thinks she is

She just takes a picture

He drops her, and only as he sees that she is continuing her work in the face of death does he save her. She’s happy to be alive, but even now, she doesn’t seem impressed with him. He makes a comment on keeping her like a pet because she’s amusing, but Chie refuses

Mind you, this entire time Chie has not been impressed. She does not idolize him. She does not hate him either. He simply isn’t important to her and it drives him insane. Shuu is so used to being the object of everyone’s adoration or hatred, he is used to people caring so much about what he does with no consequences when he does it, so when Hori, someone so below him doesn’t look up to him, he sort of loses it. He does everything he knows how from gracing her with his presence, to feeding her, to putting on a morbid show, and none of it works

And then she drops the bombshell that she has the picture of him eating ready to upload in the case of her death

For what is likely the first time ever, Shuu realizes he is in tangible danger. Everyone is a pawn in his game, but this time he’s not just an outside observer chuckling and commenting on how poorly everyone else is doing, he’s a player. He’s involved. He’s part of this story and not on his own terms. For the first time ever, someone is on his level and their world does not revolve around him. He is not the mastermind, he is no different than that old man waking up to someone who is ready to strike back at him, and now he’s painfully aware of just how capable he is of bruising

And he. Is. Afraid.

He plays it cool and quickly tries to get Chie to cancel it, and she does, but she also teases him. She toys with him in good fun but now, he’s in the place he wanted her to be in. He is as aware of her ability to kill him as he wanted her to be aware of his, and he is uncomfortable. His whole life he has gotten away with literal murder. His father sees no problem with it because he’s rich and sheltered too. His servants see no problem with it because the job pays and they care about him. His peers don’t even suspect it because he knows how to smile pretty and throw money around

But Chie never cared

This story is not about Shuu. This story is about Shuu and Chie, and he’s never had to share a title screen before. Chie had her own motives and desires that had nothing to do with him, only with her hobby and how she could better it. She was interested in him as a morbid curiosity and eventually a friend. She chose to be a part of his world not on his terms, but on her own. She was always capable of destroying him, but chose not to. Shuu was always capable of destroying her, and chose not too while not taking it very seriously, and didn’t realize until that decision that he didn’t really think much about had passed that he is in real, serous danger

Now, Shuu has two paths here. He could either kill hori like any other ghoul would, like his own servants usually do, or he can let her live as an equal, knowing everything she knows. And he lets her live. He lets her live because, in some small, almost unnoticeable way, he has grown. He sees her as her own person and, as much as it pains him, her life has value outside of him

They remain friends, friends who for the first time in Shuu’s life, are equals. Because for the first time in Shuu’s life, he is aware of what it means to have your fate in someone’s uncaring hands, and has to learn how to live with it. It is an amazing arc that continues in the main story, but I always come back to pinto to watch Shuu realize in real time that he is not untouchable, and one day someone will get the better of him

[goldenlavendered]

welcome to my enclosure I have many thoughts and doodles abt lila (shipping mostly)

[ID in ALT!]

hc dump under cut (it gets LONGG lol)

General:

anthro au specific but since my Skid & Lila are both cats, some nights they'll just sit in total darkness (bc cats can see in the dark). it is great and enriching for both of them.

adding onto that, ever since Pump started coming over they added some glow in the dark star stickers along the walls to help him find his way around :)

Lila is transfem to me . I don't need proof or elaboration this is just something I know in my heart /lh

she probably started transitioning pretty young, which is something she feels lucky for. her parents were supportive ^_^ !!

that being said, her parents were rather protective, and she didn't get out too much as a youngin.

-- that is why she was so lax with Skid going outside. she was kind of overcorrecting for that.

She was probably deep into alt fashion in college (elaborated on later)

Shipping Opinions:

I am just some guy on the internet, if you like a ship I don't, that's great and I love that for you! Live your life.

Goldenlavender (x Jaune): gestures at url. I think it is funny. also.

I feel like they've quietly been pining for a very long time now, but they've both been friends for so long and don't want things to change.

there's something quiet and unstated, but definitely there between them. they don't kiss or anything, but they hold each other really close and aren't too shy about being affectionate. you know?

women who are best friends.

also ross would finally have a parent who can pass off as a natural reason why he has black hair. he is beating the hair dye allegations!!!!!!

Grapecandy (x Kevin): I'll be honest right now. I keep thinking Kevin's, like, 17.

He isn't, I think. But I literally didn't even think of him as being a suitable option for her for a while LMAO

I think I can sum up all of the wagegang x Lila thoughts here: It just doesn't compel me, unfortunately. I don't see their potential dynamic as being particularly funny, or spawning interesting drama. Shrugs. Sorry!

specifically w Kevin though I think they would break up as soon as Skid is brought up LMAO. like he doesn't hate the kid but he isn't ready to be a stepfather imo.

(x Bob): Do they have a ship name? Anyw the age gap isn't my main issue with it. Lila's in her late 20s at the youngest, and they're both adults. I don't think anyone means tiny witch Lila when they bring this ship up anyways

nor is the stalking or attempted murder. I had a creepypasta phase, these behaviors are obviously Very Bad irl but they can be interesting to see in fiction. morbid curiosity and whatever.

My main issue is that their potential relationship is so much more interesting if it isn't romantic, you know? Like, how do they know each other? What was he to her? Why did she react so strongly to seeing him in her past? She seems eager to try to reject the idea that the man in the photo is him, but why? Was he important to her? Did she care about him?

TL;DR: I want more fics abt these two's relationship, but specifically non-romantically.

Deadflowers (x Patty): Not sure about this ship name. I don't see this one often. Anyw, I don't actually have any thoughts on Patty, so this is going to be super short.

I think they might have a nice time together on a date, but I don't think it could be anything serious.

Though, if they did.. overworked x overworked means they'll have to take care of the other, even tho it'll mean they call each other hypocrites for working so much all the time.

I could see it as a background/dressing ship, but not really as the focus of anything. sorry girls

Poisonwine (x Skid's Dad): I want to know more from onscreen canon first!!! But I think they could be super interesting!!!

The tweet that implies that he didn't care bout Lila is. hROUUUGH (<- thang whose heart is breaking). He didn't care, but did she know that? Did she care? I feel like she did..

There's no way Lila doesn't know about the cult. I'm a believer that she was a part of it herself until he died (the robes, "Remember Lila") ...Did she join because of her own beliefs, or because her husband was in it? Did he have to coerce her at all?

I think he was a good dad to Skid.

You may notice this is a lot of me dancing around what I actually think they're like. That's because I don't want to really solidify any specific readings of what's going on here. I am embracing the future with open arms!!

they're t4t tho this is non-negotiable /silly

RoyalPurple (x Carmen): this was supposed to have its' own section but now I'm making a fic with them so just. wait a minute there HAHAHA /silly

(& Streber): this is a Specifically platonic headcanon but I like to think they ve gone to the same university. They're definitely in diff strands, Streber to Engineering and Lila to Architecture, but they could've met through an org and just been pals.

They weren't suuper close or anything, but they were birds of a feather. Girl who goes to class with chokers and giant boots, and guy dressed like a victorian fantasy LARPer.

I think she sent him flowers or a get well card in the hospital :) [miserable hand shake between them abt being personally victimized by Bob]

The Ships That Don't Have Doodles

these will just be single bullet points!

(x F. Gregor): same comments as wagegang x Lila; doesn't compel me. Nothing's wrong with it, I just don't see it.

(x Dexter): this is only funny to me because I draw Lila and co as cats in the Anthro AU. he calls her a stupid bitch, we can move on.

(x Jack): I could see a onesided crush from his side, like "the lady who keeps calling is kinda cute" but I don't know if I could see it getting serious. she can give him a smooch if he wants, as a treat.

(x John): ok this one could actually be really cute. eatyourmaker's post abt Skid and John getting along is super adorable and I could maybe imagine Lila hitting it off with him after seeing how much he cares for Skid. maybe Skid plays matchmaker. this could work. I like it.

(x Ignacio): in the deleted scenes she tried to beat a teen to death for calling Skid a dumbass, I don't think she could get over the threats.

(x Fat Thief/Thin Thief): this could be funny if she was still mad at them for breaking in repeatedly. she doesn't seem threatened by them just irritated LMAO

(x Frank): childhood friends who don't really talk but are chill with each other. they're funny. I don't feel the romance tho. S&P's cool uncle

(x Pump & Susie's Parents): Pump & Susie officially get Skid as a brother AND they finally have one (1) parent who isn't always absent, just sometimes absent. other than as a background detail tho there's nothing here.

(x Mayor Evermore): they would ignore each other on the street on purpose

(x Moloch): he didnt get to but he WOULD call her a bitch.

(x Richard): poor man's Lila x Carmen

(x Spider): please let my girl beat the spiderfucker allegations.

[loversgothic]

fabulous!! i am about to get silly. here are some of my designs that are a couple years old now, i think my designing style has really matured since then but i still am rather fond of them!!

crazy fucking rambling about old fashion collections and additional illustrations under the cut, this is part one of two bc tumblr restricts how many pictures i can post at once D:

so id like to start my ramble with the preface its abt to get a little cringe. and really gay.

my friends and i for a while have been making clothing on roblox and its why i found a love of fashion in the first place, n we used to work on a lot of releases and dropped a few collections on roblox before i outgrew roblox clothing making.

we were abt like.. 15-17 around the time we were working on some of these!!! but we've been designing things for like... 6-7 years.

@gutterfliez and i had a collection we worked on together along with many of our other friends called Soundwave, which was ORIGINALLY MEANT TO BE a 40 piece (ambitious for teenagers who are unmedicated. i burned out halfway thru.) collection themed around music and the feelings that came with it as well as paying tribute to different subcultures. it was separated into 4 sections, Celestial, Heavenly, Purgatorial, and Hellish.

the whole vision of this was trying to show our appreciation for how music, regardless of genre or instrumentation or just style, can capture such a large range of emotions and how it uplifts people in different ways, as well as write a small tale. celestial music was uplifting through its high energy and joyful melodies, heavenly uplifted like it was cradling the listener and drying its tears, purgatorial uplifts as it was the cry for help and demonstration of agony, and hell was uplifting through rebellion and rage allowing one to embody something stronger

and like?? while my designs were just sketches that id decide upon the colors for later, my beloved friends went MILES further, especially VALENTINE (gutterfliez as mentioned before) who went nuts on the Heavenly section. he actually requested if he could design a large chunk of that section because he had a lot of ideas.

ill be posting them under another reblog thing bc i wanna make SURE you see how talented valentine is.

[polyamorouspunk]

Coming here to yell about a thing.

SO. Im like. Frustrated with the whole ‘am I queer’ thing. (Like personally for myself). And i think Im at a point where I just. Do not care anymore. Like. I could care less what people refer to me as. I dont think its important to tell people. And I just do what I want. I think my new response when asked is gonna just be ‘idk Im just me’.

Like. Im dating this person and Ive not told them any of my queer exploits and. I dont think Im going to? Is that wrong of me? That I dont feel like its important or defining enough to be brought up and have a weird awkward conversation about when I dont even have a solid answer and also Im completely comfortable being called either way? Its not like the terms they call me upset me or make me uncomfortable. I just dont think its worth the conversation of ‘well my gender might be fucked but details are unobtainable’.

Of the few friends who ive told about it, some think i should tell my parter and another thinks theres nothing wrong with it if its not a path I plan on pursuing or putting importance on in my life. Honestly, I haven’t even thought of it in months until I was talking to an old friend who knew me as exploring my queerness that I hadnt seen in a few years and he just kept asking questions and prying about the gender stuff and like. Fuck bro I dont know anymore. Is it really wrong of me to just not care anymore and want to leave that chapter of my life behind? Like Im still kinda involved in my local queer community, but more like. Its like, not *because* Im queer, but because these people are accepting of me just existing as I am. Just. Aaahhhhhhh IM PULLING MY HAIR OUT WITH THIS

HELLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP 😭😭😭

I think that’s completely normal.

I live my life as a girl. People are surprised when I say I’m trans because like man I don’t like it but like it’s like yeah I don’t care enough to fight over people using pronouns other than she/her for me irl? Like it’s just not worth it and I don’t care that much.

Honestly I don’t really see much of a point in like “coming out” for myself anymore either. Like if it’s a conversation I want to have with someone then cool but do I really give a shit if the random customer I’m ringing out thinks I’m straight and cis? Not really.

Like yeah, different spaces for different things. A part of me is sad that a lot of other queer people probably don’t pick up on me being queer because I don’t really scream “QUEER” when you look at me, and that’s a big reason of why I’m going to cut my hair soon. But like I do think that’s kind of silly of me not feeling like I “look” queer enough. And honestly I know a lot of queer people who are shit and a lot of cishet people who aren’t.

I have a friend who as far as I know is cishet but just by virtue of him being autistic and nerdy he just attracts queer people. It’s like “oh he’s an honorary queer” no he’s just weird and different like the rest of us but in a different way.

There’s a reason queer overlaps a lot with like neurodivergence and physical disability/chronic illness etc. Weird just attracts weird. Who cares what flavor.

Honestly I’d rather have weird cishet friends than pretentious queer people who treat me like shit.

I’ve always said for myself that if a cishet guy was interested in me I would be fine with just being a cis girl in a relationship with a cishet guy. Like I wouldn’t want anyone being like “well he’s in a queer relationship because he’s with a transmasc genderfluid bi lesbian queer person” like nah dude if someone wants to see me as their gf and I’m comfortable with it then cool.

There are also a LOT of gay people who don’t ID as queer or even LGBTQ+. You can be LGBTQ+ whatever and not be “in the community” and you can be cis/het/allo/mono and still “in the community”.

It’s all about breaking down boarders. If YOU don’t care, no one else should care. What you tell any person you’re dating is completely up to you. Obviously some things are more important than others (like hey if you don’t want to disclose you have an STD you don’t have to! But you probably should) but queer status is personal and up for disclosure on a case-to-case basis- or just 100% or not at all.

[ghostlandtoo]

WISH FULFILLMENT — COME BACK WRONG

a mood board for a friend’s fic concept

ID:

A web weaving post feature Wolfwood and Vash from Trigun Maximum. The first image is a panel of Wolfwood biting down on glass vials in his mouth and underneath the panel is the quote: “Why does tragedy exist? Because you are full of rage. Why are you full of rage? Because you are full of grief.” The second image is spliced together panels from volume 10. The first panel is Wolfwood holding a shot glass with speech bubbles saying: [N][arrow][is][the][strai][T][.] [I am asking [You] [h][ow] to endure it.]. Next is the panel of Vash bowing over his shot glass with spec bubbles saying: On the strength of My having asked it of you. Around him are thought bubbles saying: Oh, God… God… Please do me this one favor… The third panel is Wolfwood in profile, a tear running down his cheek. A speech bubble next to him says: [I am asking [not] to endure it.] The final panel is of the gravestone placed over his grave with a cross craved into it. Around it says: Scio… Sweetheart.

The lines are from a poem by tumblr user inactics linked here.

The third image is a quote from Richard Siken: He was not dead yet, no exactly—parts of him were dead already, certainly other parts were still only waiting for something to happen, something grand, but it isn’t always about me, he keeps saying, though he’s talking about the only heart he knows—

The fourth image is a screencap of dialogue from Disco Elysium. It reads:

You – Do I remember?

Inland Empire – No, you don’t. And it’s better that way.

You – What *do* I remember?

Inland Empire – Nothing.

(in all caps by the narrator) Don’t come back here!

The fifth image is Wolfwood aiming his handgun at the back of Vash’s head, who is in the foreground. Underneath that panel is a picture of an engraved plaque with a Jenny Holzer truism on it reading: Protect me from what I want. The sixth image is the panel of Wolfwood forcing Vash to hold a gun to his head and saying “Shoot.” The panel is cut in half by a quote from Richard Siken: but I think I’d rather keep the bullet. It’s mine, see, I’m not giving it up. This way you still owe me, and that’s as good as anything. You can’t get out of this one, [] you can’t get it out of me, and with this bullet lodged in my chest, covered with your name, I will turn myself into a gun, because I’m hungry and hollow and just want something to call my own. I’ll be your slaughterhouse, your killing floor, your morgue and final resting, walking around with this bullet inside me like the bullet was already there, like it’s been waiting inside me this entire time.

The seventh image is a picture of a line from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. It reads: (Guil) Our names shouted in a certain dawn… a message… a summons… there must have been a moment, at the beginning, where he could have said – no. But somehow we missed it. (He looks around and sees he is alone.) Rosen-? Guil-? (He gathers himself.) Well, we’ll know better next time. Now you see me, now you – (And disappears.)

The eighth image is the panel of Wolfwood and Vash sitting on the couch from volume 10. Wolfwood was been blacked out so he is just a silhouette. In the middle of his body is a block of text reading: living—despite (line break) living—against.

The final image is a dialogue box from the gamer Pathologic. The Executor is saying: I’ll tell you a story. Once there was a man who wanted to fix everything. He begged on bended knee for a chance to turn back time… And when he got it, history repeated itself. “Good job,” we told him. “That’s your fate.” He asked us, “Once more?” So we let him try once more, but with a catch. He who denies his fate will be punished.

[shriekinghavoc]

And now for something a little different...

Further thoughts on these redesigns and my process below the cut.

Earth Ponies:

I wanted t make the earth ponies distinctly bigger than the pegasi and unicorns to give them something more to their lore. I never quite liked the idea that unicorns and pegasi got these special things (magic and flight) and that earth ponies were just somewhat normal or "default." I guess in fantasy terms, they're like orcs or half giant- other large fantasy races. I also decided they'd appear more like real world ponies, patterns and hooves and all. Of course, earth ponies can still be fun colors like Pinkie Pie here.

AJ in particular I wanted to make a bit ruddier. She's what Id call the most generic "horse looking" pony in the group, and that's very much intentional. I gave her a more athletic build to help with her farm work, and took off her hair band in favor of a short bob, and put a tie at the base of her tail to resemble an apple stem.

Pinkie, alternatively, got a chunky rounder design (You can't bake cake for all of your friends every day without giving the batter a taste test or ten haha) and threw various little ornaments and confetti into her hair that shoots out whenever she gets excited. I also brought the balloons in her cutie mark together to show that her parties are a way ths he brings PONIES together.

Pegasi:

In contrast to the earth ponies, I figured that pegasi would be a bit on the smaller side and their hooves are covered in a down fur like the rest of their bodies rather than being exposed, this helps them walk on clouds like the Canadian Lynx's furry paws do.

Fluttershy's eyes might look familiar to my Hawk and Dove followers. I just thought the "umbrella" eyelashes would fit her well and make her eyes look bigger without giving her the puppy dog look from the show. I also gave her bushy brows and I think her mane drags on the forest floor. Her bird friends probably take care to pull out the twigs and leaves that get wrapped in it for their own nests while she brushes other smaller animals in turn- a nice, quiet way to spend time with her animal friends at the end of the day. I also decided to simplify her cutie mark to better fit on her smaller body.

Rainbow Dash's mane, on the other hand, is cut shorter and I gave her some racing tape on her legs. Unlike Fluttershy, Rainbow preens her wings often to keep them in racing condition. It's like stretching before a jog, helping to take care of herself in the long run. Or, fly in this case.

Unicorns:

I am not immune to The Last Unicorn propaganda and neither are you. The medium size of the pony races, unicorns do have longer legs in comparison to their bodies than other ponies that end in cloven hooves from starting out in mountainous areas (as opposed to plain-dwelling earth ponies and sky-dwelling pegasi.) They also have prehensile tails and two common coat lengths (Long and short.)

Rarity is a long-haired unicorn, something a lot of unicorns wouldn't expect of a fashion pony. Many other designers with similar coats trim their hooves and coat down, but Rarity rocks her fluffy legs and chest and a lot of her designs sport flared skirts and pants to better show off and compliment her conditioned coat. This is also why I went against styling her mane, as I think she would be more inclined to let it flow as it chooses... after she goes through a rigorous treatment routine each morning and night, of course.

Twilight is a short-haired unicorn with a straighter mane and tail. I opted for a blunt end to her tail and I think she'd use it to dust her shelves and turn pages if she's using her magic for other things. I was initally worried the dark patterning on her mouth would look like a five o'clock shadow, but I still like how it brings her face together nad helps to draw attention to her glowing, pink eyes.

[silveredfeathers]

An audio file has been uploaded courtesy of a mischievous Rotom! Take a listen?

//Please read the TW before reading below the cut! Stay safe.//

[Audio ID:

“I am TELLING you, you are not a MONSTER!” Lynda growls in frustration, this seems to have been going on for a bit. She seems to be crying… Who’s recording this…?

“Of course you’d think that Lyn… But with what I’ve done…” Silver sounds quiet, as if he would rather be off hiding in a hole. His voice seems to be closer to the microphone however, so it’s still being caught.

“What do you mean by that? Your dad knows you aren’t a monster, your mom knows, your brother knows, our kid, her friends, EVERYONE who knows you knows you aren’t a monster!” Her voice sounds very shaky. “What you’ve done is escape a horrible situation with horrible people. Yes you hurt people, but they hurt YOU, and would have done it again if given the chance! They’re better off dead!”

“Everyone who likes me is obviously not going to call me a monster because they don’t want to upset me… Hell they may be too scared to because they think I’ll hurt them like I did back at the lab… I had no control of myself back there… I killed a ton of people at once. Not because they were bad… I killed them because they were in the way…” Fear taints his voice as he goes on. “What if something makes me lose control again… I’ll end up just hurting those close to me…” 

“Silver, I can easily pin you down and scruff you with my dragon form, for one. And for two, I know for a fact if your brother was scared of you he wouldn’t want to be around you or tolerate you. Three, you have gotten so much better with controlling it, you haven’t been forced into that form for years, and now you’re worried that you’ll rampage? Also, none of them have felt fear towards you.” She sounds like she’s trying desperately to calm back down.

“Yet there might be a breaking point… Someone pushes me off the metaphorical cliff… One wrong word… And they have been scared. I’ve seen it. The looks on their faces when they saw what those fuckers did to me-” 

The sound of a door opening is heard, probably hitting a wall pretty hard if the loud bang is to say anything.

“Why do you keep arguing about- wait シルバー, why is your phone on?”

A soft “Bzzt!” is heard, before the video cuts out.

End of id]

//Translation for what Gio said: Silver