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#you don't have to be like 16 to like someone so if we're saying like not IN LOVE yes i think you can like someone at 12 my first crush
clarisse0o · 1 day
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Camp Wiegman-Part 80
Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle
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Alternative Universe: Military School
Words: 5K
Masterlist
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Saturday, April 16; 5:30 PM - Porto Airport.
Here we are, in Porto. I can hardly believe it. I mean, I'm from Portugal, but I've never been here. It's always been a city I've wanted to visit, and here I am. Lucy smiles at me to reassure me.
"Are you ready?"
"As if I had a choice."
She laughs softly and steals a kiss. She's lucky I love her madly. In a few minutes, we're going to get off the plane and meet her parents. Despite her teasing, I can tell Lucy's been nervous since yesterday. She gave me a little rundown of what to expect, and honestly, I have no idea how to act.
"I love you. Don't forget that."
"I know."
We exchange a smile, and we walk hand in hand down the disembarkation corridor. My hands are sweaty. There are people all around us. When we reach the hall, I let Lucy take the lead in looking for them, as I've never seen them. All I know is that her father is really tall and her mother have white hair.
"I see them! Are you coming?"
"I'm right behind you."
She guides me while I keep looking around for them. I finally smile when I see Alexia running toward us. I barely have time to let go of my girlfriend’s hand to catch her in my arms.
"You’re finally here!"
I let out a sigh. I had forgotten they arrived before us. That’s great news.
"Hey. I’m so relieved to see you."
"Me too! I have so much to tell you."
"Really? Did you have a good week?"
I almost forgot she spent the week with Jenni and her sister. I imagine she has lots to share.
"It couldn’t have been better. And you? You look like you got some sun."
"A little, yes," I giggle.
I glance over her shoulder to see Lucy standing next to her parents and Jenni. I smile especially when I see her in the arms of a woman I assume to be her mother based on her appearance.
"You’ve already talked to them, I guess?" I ask Ale.
"Yeah. Your mother-in-law is a bit... I don’t know. Intimidating? She’s something else."
"Thanks, Ale. That’s really reassuring," I mock.
"Sorry," she laughs. "Just giving you a heads-up."
I nod. Anyway, Lucy already warned me that her mother would be the one to intimidate me the most with her cold demeanor. In a way, it reminds me of Lucy when we first met. She was the same, so I guess it’s not insurmountable.
"Her dad, on the other hand, is adorable. He hasn’t stopped chatting with us."
I glance at him. Once again, Lucy warned me not to judge by appearances. He reminds me of my dad, but even more impressive.
"That’s something, at least."
"Come on, I’ll go with you through this tough moment. We’ll chat later."
I nod. I can’t run away forever. Alexia links her arm with mine to guide me. I let her. I’d rather do that than have time to overthink. Lucy smiles immediately when she sees us. Ale lets go of me when my girlfriend reaches out her hand. I take it and don’t hesitate to snuggle against her.
"Mom, Dad, this is Ona, my girlfriend. Ona, this is Diane , my mother , and Kim, my father."
"Hello," I say timidly. "I’m happy to finally meet you."
"And we are too. Lucy has told us a lot about you. Don’t be shy around us. We’re glad Lucy’s brought someone home."
"Well, that puts a lot of pressure on me."
The words slipped out, but they seem to amuse her father, who catches me off guard with a hug that tenses me up. Lucy smiles with amusement beside me. Maybe this trip won’t be as bad as I feared. Well, except for her mother, who has been staring at me the whole time. Lucy’s father saves me from having to approach her by suggesting we hurry home. Lucy kisses my temple, wrapping her arm around my shoulders as we walk.
"You’re doing great, honey," she whispers. "You’re perfect. Just keep being yourself, and everything will be fine."
Her words give me the strength I need for what’s ahead. The non-interaction with her mother bothers me a bit, but I suppose I’ll have to get used to it for now. Lucy said not to expect much from her at first.
"You all must be starving," her father says as we head toward the exit after collecting our bags.
"Oh, yes, you’re not kidding," Jenni replies. "I’ll be glad when we’re home."
"You’ll have to wait a bit. We invited your parents for dinner tonight. We thought it’d bring back good memories."
"What a great idea. Are we having a barbecue?"
"Of course. You’ll help me grill the meat."
"Gladly!"
It seems like everyone’s looking forward to tonight. I really hope everything goes well.
Saturday, April 16; 7:30 PM - Bronze House.
Lucy loved my house, but she didn’t do too badly with hers either. It’s a small house with a lovely, well-kept garden. Like me, they live away from the city, in a very friendly neighborhood. It’s peaceful. You can’t hear anything, even though we’re outside sipping a drink for now. The Dads and Jenni are handling the grilling. Jenni looks a lot like her dad. The mothers are, to my relief, inside preparing salads. I have some breathing room and, more importantly, an escape from my mother-in-law’s watchful eyes. She won’t stop. I feel like she’s scrutinizing my every move. It’s very unsettling. Thankfully, Alexia keeps me relaxed with casual conversation.
"I need to use the bathroom before we sit down," I tell Lucy. "Can you show me where it is?"
"I’ll come with you."
"Oh no, you don’t have to. Just tell me."
"Sweetheart, I’m coming with you," she insists. "We’ll be back in ten minutes," she tells Ale.
"No problem, I’ll check in on the others in the meantime."
She winks at me as we walk into the house. Lucy takes me upstairs, which feels strange at the moment. But then she opens the door to the bathroom, right next to her bedroom. At least now I know I won’t have trouble finding it if I need to during the night.
"Thanks."
"Is everything okay, love?" she asks, stopping me with her question.
"Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t it be?"
"Well, you’re not as cheerful as when we left Lisbon."
"Well… your mother is quite the character, but I’ll be fine."
She chuckles softly, sliding her hands around my waist.
"I know, I’m sorry if she’s making you uncomfortable."
"Oh no, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, and honestly, she’s not making me that uncomfortable. I haven’t even spoken to her yet."
"You’re right," she sighs. "I know she likes to observe before acting, but she’s never been this intense. I’ll say something to her eventually."
"No! Please don’t, Lucy. I don’t want her to think I’m playing the victim or anything."
She sighs heavily. I cup her cheek, and she looks up at me.
"And then what? I’m not going to let her create tension between you two during this trip."
"Well, I don’t know… Maybe she’s waiting for me to approach her? Maybe I should make the first move. What do you think?"
"I’m not sure you’re ready to—"
"Ready for what?" I interrupt. "I think I’ve been through enough to handle a conversation with your mom, Lucia."
"That’s not what I meant," she sighs.
She averts her gaze, clearly thinking it over. I can tell she’s nervous. Either she’s hiding something serious, or she doesn’t think I can handle her mother.
"Okay… If you feel like facing her, go ahead. She’ll appreciate the gesture."
"Thank you."
I smile and kiss her gently.
"Can I use the bathroom now? »
"Yes," she laughed. "I'll wait for you."
She let go of me, and I hurried to take care of what I needed to do. I washed my hands and came back out. Lucy was leaning against the door, looking deep in thought. I stood in front of her and wrapped my arms around her.
"Hey, how are you?"
She shrugged.
"I don’t know. It’s always strange coming back here."
"I can see that. We're far from peace and quiet, huh?"
"Yeah," she chuckled.
I gently stroked her hair, full of love.
"Do you want to talk?"
"No, it's fine."
"Okay... You know I love you, right?"
A small smile formed on her lips.
"Yeah, it seems like it..." she replied playfully.
"You think that’s funny, huh?" I asked, pulling away a little.
"Just a bit."
A small gasp escaped me when she flipped the roles. I found myself pressed against the wall, speechless as she kissed me softly. I kissed her back with growing desire.
"You’ll never love me as much as I love you," she teased.
"Wrong. I already love you more than you love me."
"No, I don't think so," she teased back.
"Girls! We're ready to eat!" Ale called from the stairs.
"Well, duty calls, it seems."
"Yeah, convenient for you."
"I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let’s go fill our stomachs instead of arguing over a debate that, in my opinion, has no possible outcome."
I chuckled softly.
"You're just afraid to lose, that's all."
"Are you done yet? I might start thinking you’re doubting my feelings."
She stepped back, crossing her arms. She was truly adorable when she pretended to sulk. Usually, it was me in that position. I tilted my head, smiling.
"Are you kidding? After our nights at the beach, there's no way I could ever doubt your feelings."
I moved closer to her again, pressing our bodies together. Her hand gliding over my hip caught me off guard, and once again, she had me pinned against the wall. My breath was short, but I let her kiss me once more, tenderly. I felt myself surrender more and more, and I loved it. I had developed an unshakable trust in her. Last week had truly been paradise. For the first time in a long while, I felt like I had fully found myself again. We were in perfect harmony, and nothing made me happier than knowing we’d be living together permanently in just a few weeks. I snapped back to reality when Lucy started to venture a little too far along my neck.
"Lucia," I whispered.
That didn’t seem to stop her, but a pinch on her butt certainly did the trick.
"Hey!" she protested.
"You made me wait for nights last week because we were under my grandfather's roof. Don’t think you’re going to get away with it any easier here."
"And what, exactly? Want me to find us a beach?" she teased.
"You’re ridiculous," I giggled. "We almost got caught more than once last night, remember?"
"Oh, come on, it was kind of fun, wasn’t it?" she teased, letting her hand wander under my shirt.
"Sure, but you weren’t the one half undressed when it happened."
"True," she laughed.
I gave in to her lips one last time. That’s when we were interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing. I panicked a little but relaxed when I saw Ale standing there.
"So, this is what you've been up to this whole time? We’ve all been waiting for you."
"Sorry about that," Lucy laughed. "We’re coming."
"I hope so!"
She turned around without checking if we were following. I was ready to go, but Lucy held me back one more time. I thought we were done.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Forget about all that for now. Don’t worry about my mom tonight. Focus on me, okay? I want us to have a good evening for our first night here. Can you do that for me?"
I took a deep breath but nodded.
"Okay," I murmured. "I’ll try."
"Thank you. I love you, don’t forget that."
I smiled as she kissed me one last time. Now it was time to keep my promise. I just hoped her mom wouldn’t traumatize me.
Sunday, April 17th, 08:30 AM - Bronze House
I groaned as I felt movement beside me. I reached out to place my arm over Lucy’s body, but I realized she wasn’t lying down anymore.
"What are you doing?" I mumbled.
"Shhh, go back to sleep."
"Where are you going?" I grumbled, blinking as she tried to get out of bed.
"I can't sleep anymore. Jenni texted me. We’re going for a run."
I sighed contentedly as she stroked my head. It felt so good. I closed my eyes again.
"You're leaving me alone?"
"We’re just doing a quick loop around the neighborhood. You won’t have to leave here without me, okay?"
"Hmm..."
I heard her words, but I was too tired to process them. Lucy chuckled at my response.
"I love you. See you soon."
I felt her lips against mine. I let out another small groan as she finally got out of bed. I wasn’t able to stop her, but instead, I slid over to her side of the bed, hugging her pillow to me. On the one hand, I hated that she left me alone for her morning runs, but on the other, I loved being able to enjoy her side of the bed in her absence. Without fully realizing it, I drifted back to sleep.
Sunday, April 17th, 09:00 AM - Bronze House
I stretched out in the big bed, realizing I was alone. I vaguely remembered why, thanks to Lucy’s departure. I sighed and reached for my phone. It was still early for me, but I could hear movement in the house. There was noise coming from downstairs. I didn’t know when Lucy had left, but I didn’t particularly feel like waiting for her up here. Knowing Alexia, she was probably still sleeping. She loved to sleep in as much as I did. Or, maybe she had gone with the others. That was a possibility too. I waited for a while, but eventually decided to get out of bed. It was ridiculous to stay there, and with a bit of luck, Lucy’s dad would be downstairs. I took the time to get dressed and make the bed before heading to the bathroom next to the room. I brushed my teeth and fixed my hair before heading downstairs. After all, I was at my in-laws’ house, and the least I could do was look presentable. My feet led me to the kitchen after I noticed the living room was empty. I instantly regretted leaving the bed when I saw that the only person there was Lucy’s mother, who had, of course, already spotted me.
"Good morning," I said, a bit awkwardly.
"Good morning, Ona."
"How are you? Is there anything I can help you with?"
The woman smiled. That was a first. I hadn’t received a smile from her yet. I’d had a pleasant evening yesterday, but I’d had to ignore her to avoid feeling uncomfortable.
"Lucy told us that you don’t particularly like cooking. Maybe you could set the table, if you remember where the silverware is."
I blushed furiously. Lucy had really told them that? We were going to need to have a little talk.
"Y-yes, of course," I stammered.
We’d put the dishwasher away last night, so I remembered perfectly where everything was. I moved toward the kitchen to start looking for the plates.
"So, she was right?" Lucy’s mother asked.
I swallowed hard. Had she painted me as some sort of failure to her parents? I felt embarrassed by the answer I was about to give.
"Yes, it's true. I never really took the time to learn how to cook, but I do help Lucy from time to time since we moved in together. Well, on weekends, at least," I added, unsure of how much she actually knew.
I prefer to stay honest. It’s not by lying that I will gain her sympathy. She doesn’t respond, so I step forward to the table to set down four plates.
“Are you planning to take care of my daughter?”
The question catches me off guard. She stopped what she was doing to look me straight in the eye. I realize she’ll probably judge my answer if it’s not what she expects.
“I understand you might feel uncomfortable with my behavior,” she continues. “But you have to understand, I only have one child. It’s my duty to know if she’s in good hands.”
I take a deep breath. In a way, I’m glad she started the conversation. I would have never had the courage to do it myself. Besides, the question was simple. I just needed to answer from the heart.
“I love your daughter, so of course, I’m going to take care of her. She’s my priority.”
“You love her, huh? So, you’re not with her out of interest?”
“What—what? No!” I reply, offended. “Lucy has given me so much, and I have genuine feelings for her. I would never use her.”
“Really? So there’s no ulterior motive? Not even a financial one?”
I laugh bitterly. This woman is something else. What does she think? I can see that my attitude doesn’t please her, but I can’t help it. I close my eyes for a moment, clench my fists, and collect myself.
“No, none at all,” I reply more harshly than I intended. “If you know so much, I imagine Lucy has also told you about my father’s death... So you should know I inherited everything from him. Even his house in Lisbon, so you can understand that I’m not in need financially.”
I don’t like that she’s doubting our love so much. Plus, forcing me to talk about my father—that’s the last straw. Unexpectedly, her eyes soften, which is rather disconcerting. Up until now, she’s only looked at me with judgment and coldness.
“I did hear about that tragedy. My condolences. I’m also sorry for attacking you like this, but I’m still Lucy’s mother, and I have to protect her. She’s been through enough, but you seem to be good for her.”
Her words make my heart skip a beat. What does she mean by “been through enough”? Is she referring to her relationship with Keira? I don’t know why, but since what Lucy told me last week and how she’s been acting since we got here, I have doubts that it’s just that. Something else must have happened here too.
“I observed you a lot last night. I can see that you make my daughter happy, and after this conversation, you seem like a remarkable young woman. Know that Lucy needs support, even though she’ll never admit it.”
I struggle to hide my surprise. Until now, I never noticed that Lucy needed support. On the contrary, she’s always the one who’s supported me.
“Don’t look so surprised. You’re already supporting her without even realizing it, so keep it up. The only thing I’ll ask of you is to never betray her or break her heart.”
I blink several times. Am I to understand that she’s finally giving me her approval? It touches me in a way, considering the person standing in front of me. I blush despite myself and nod.
“Absolutely not, ma’am. I wouldn’t even think of it. I love her far too much to do something like that. I fully intend to keep Lucy by my side forever.”
She nods calmly, with a small smile.
“Good. I’m trusting you with my daughter, then. Take care of her. And you can call me Diane from now on.”
A weight lifts off my shoulders at those words. The conversation is going well.
“Welcome to the family, Ona.”
Definitely going well. Her words warm my heart. She’s clearly offering me recognition. I smile gently.
“Thank you... Diane.”
“Do you like pancakes?”
“Oh yes, especially Lucy’s,” I admit enthusiastically.
“Well, you’ll have to settle for mine today. But they shouldn’t be much different from my daughter’s since I’m the one who taught her.”
I smile softly and nod. I continue setting the table, and when I’m done, I hear the front door slam. My girlfriend’s laughter and Jenni’s echo in the hallway before they appear in the room.
“Hello!” she says cheerfully.
Her expression shifts to surprise when she sees me here. She wasn’t expecting it. After all, she asked me to wait upstairs. But that was out of the question for me. I wanted to take the opportunity to talk with her mother, and now that’s done.
“Hey,” I greet them.
“Oh, you came downstairs after all.”
“You told her to wait upstairs?” her mother scolds. “I wasn’t going to eat her.”
“Oh, with you, who knows,” Lucy laughs before coming over to hug me. I let myself relax until I catch a whiff of her scent. I grimace and try to push her away, but she holds on tighter.
“You stink,” I point out.
“What? You don’t like my natural scent?” she teases.
“Yes, but definitely not your sweat.”
She laughs before kissing me. Her lips carry me away every time. It’s as if I melt in her arms.
“Everything okay? She didn’t torture you too much?”
“No,” I giggle. “Everything went fine.”
She nods, glancing briefly at her mother, who doesn’t seem concerned about us.
“Are you and your girlfriend staying for breakfast, Jenni?” she asks instead.
“No, I’m heading home. I’m expected there, and I need a shower too.”
“Great idea,” Lucy comments. “We’ll take one as well. See you this afternoon?”
“Yeah, we’ll text to figure something out.”
“Okay, sounds good.”
“See you later.”
She turns around and leaves as if it’s nothing. Something tells me she feels right at home here. She seems very comfortable and well-accepted by my girlfriend’s family. Lucy catches my attention by kissing my cheek.
“Are you done here? Will you join me?”
“Oh, um…”
I blush. I think I understood what she meant earlier when she said “we” to Jenni. I glance at her mother for some sort of approval. She doesn’t seem to care. She’s not even looking at us. I turn back to Lucy, who has a mischievous expression.
“We can’t do that,” I say softly so only she can hear.
“Come on. No one’s upstairs, and we can talk about what happened while I was gone.”
She teases me, playing with the hem of my t-shirt. I shake my head, but Lucy isn’t giving up.
“Mom, will you call us when it’s ready?”
“Yes, go ahead. We’ll call you when it’s time.”
“Perfect, thanks.”
Lucy grabs my hand and leads me upstairs before I have a chance to understand what’s happening. I hardly recognize her. She’s never been this persistent. We arrive upstairs, and she guides me into the family bathroom.
“You’re exaggerating. We can’t do this here.”
"We're not going to do anything. I just want to take a shower with you. Is that too much to ask?"
She tilts her head while teasing the back of my bra under my t-shirt. I roll my eyes but smile nonetheless. She seems to really want this moment, so I give in.
"Just a quick shower, but don’t say I didn’t warn you."
"Thank you, my love. I’ll go get some clothes. You get the towels ready."
She gives me a quick kiss before disappearing into her bedroom. A pretty spacious room, by the way. It’s about the size of our room in Manchester, with fairly neutral colors. Actually, it resembles her apartment’s style a lot—minimalistic, but very pretty and harmonious. I listen to her and go in search of the towels. This room has a bathtub, a shower, and some storage cabinets. I hope she doesn’t get any ideas when she sees the bath... She's been quite playful these past few days. I jump when arms suddenly wrap around me from behind. I didn’t even have time to look before she’s already here.
"Haven’t you taken your clothes off yet?" she whispers.
"I was waiting for you. And honestly, I haven’t even found the towels."
I turn around to face her and also to check if the door is locked, which it is.
"Did you lock it?"
"Of course. Now, undress."
She kicks things off by stripping off her clothes, letting them fall to the floor. Unlike her, I plan on putting mine back on, so I fold them neatly. Meanwhile, she turns on the water and checks the temperature. I feel happy to be getting more comfortable around her. She makes me feel wanted. It's been a long time since I’ve felt that way.
"So, where are the towels?" I ask.
"Right here, look."
She points to a cabinet right next to the shower. I grab two for later. When I turn around, Lucy already has her hand on my waist.
"You're really eager today," I giggle. "What’s going on with you?"
"I don’t know. I just want to spend time with you."
"Quick, remember," I say as she pulls me under the water.
"Promise," she laughs. "Just a shower," she murmurs against my lips.
I smile as she kisses me, closing the door behind her. We try to share the water jets as best as we can. The space is smaller than anything we’ve been in before. Lucy keeps her promise and just focuses on washing me. She takes her time, lost in thought. I know she enjoys doing it, so I don’t say anything. I like it too. The way she looks at me makes me feel like a wonder of the world. It’s so crazy, considering how much I dislike my body.
"Everything okay?" I ask.
"Of course," she says, smiling softly. "I’m with you, so everything’s fine."
She says that, but I can tell something’s bothering her. She kisses me, so I stay quiet. I rinse off once she’s done. Now it’s my turn to pamper her. I start with her hair. I smile when I see her close her eyes. Looks like someone really needed this. I understand better why she insisted on having me with her. I take advantage of the moment to kiss her shoulder.
"Don’t start if you want me to stay calm," she mumbles.
"Oh, but you will stay calm. It’s my turn to take care of you."
"Really, hmm?"
She sighs in contentment as I give her a scalp massage. I start to wonder if she’s simply letting go...
"Yes. I know how to do it, and you seem to need it."
"You’re right."
I smile. It’s rare for her to admit things like this, especially so easily. That must mean it’s true.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I whisper.
"No."
"Ladies, dinner will be ready soon," comes the distinct voice of Lucy’s father, interrupting us.
"We’d better hurry up," my girlfriend advises.
"Okay..."
I let it go for now. She really doesn’t seem to want to talk. I get the sense I’m not the only one who’d prefer to escape the past... I finish washing her quickly so we can get out. The last thing I want is to upset Lucy’s parents, even if everything seems to have settled down.
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i would like to stop experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions every day please. putting this out into the universe
#had suchhh a good workday. had hot pot with my roommate where we talked about our quarter life crises#and then came home and had a 3 hour screaming match with both of my parents where i said i was cutting them out of my life#it turns out. my dad still does not understand what the word bi means even tho his fucking wife is bi#he was like 'so you marry someone and six months later you see someone else you like and u go marry them instead?'#like genuinely. truly trying to understand#and that shocked me enough to stop crying#do not reblog please#like in hindsight it is SO funny#and that was the point where i was like. wait is this not malice#this is homophobia but i don't think it's malice#anyways we're all Ok now#we've agreed that i'm going to do what i want#and even if they're unhappy they're still gonna have a relationship with me#and they'll figure out how to adjust#my brother periodically came into the room and also screamed at my parents#i feel bad for them a lil bit. like they're not bad people#after he left my mom told me that a week and a half ago#my brother came into her room and told her that when she died he would bury her in a grave instead#of the traditional last rites (cremation rituals etc etc)#if she wouldn't accept me#and my mom said she was on a bunch of meds cause she's sick so she was so out of it it didn't even register what he was going on about#and then today after that convo she was like WAIT A MIN WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS BOY SAY TO ME#funniest 16 year old u could have on your side#truly he kept coming into the room every 5 min and going HEY HAVE YOU BOTH CONSIDERED NOT BEING HOMOPHOBIC. HAVE YOU.#HEY CAN U TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU STILL LOVE HER MAYBE??? THINK??? USE YOUR BRAIN???#this is why i would die for this kid#he's the best#he's such an idiot most of the time but when he's not being an idiot he's my favorite person on earth#don't tell him that tho anyone please#he'll hold it against me forever and ever as siblings do
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maddy-ferguson · 1 year
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The way people think mike and will fell in love prior to s1 or they were in kindergarten... i am asking again, why do you guys read fanfic too much and want bad writing.
lmaoooo when they were in kindergarten is not serious AT ALL like that's BAD fanfic writing
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shiplessoceans · 11 days
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Moments in House MD that made me absolutely feral as an O.G fan that watched it as it aired back in the naughties, shipping House/Wilson hardcore and not realising I was queer:
1. Wilson loudly reciting a poem to House as he enters the hospital lobby which contains the line: "His manly chest, his stubbled jaw, everything about him leaves me raw.'
2. The look on Wilson's face when a random clinic patient gives House advice about his date with Cameron.
"Do her....or you're gay."
*cue Wilson looking to the side like...wait a minute...*
3. House: "They were not Prada! you wouldn't know Prada if it stepped on your scrotum."
4. Wilson: "House I believe you're a romantic, you didn't just believe him, you believed IN him! Wanna come over tonight, watch old movies and cry?"
5. House (yelling across a crowded lobby to Wilson): "How long can you go without sex?"
6. The look on Wilson's face when he gets a masseuse for House (!) and she massages his hand, causing him to begin moaning orgasmically.
7. Stacey: "What are you hiding?"
House: "I'm gay... Oh that's not what you meant! But it does explain a lot thought. No girlfriend, always with Wilson..."
8. House watching Wilson sleep on the couch in his apartment, then quietly erasing a voicemail from a real estate agent saying Wilson's apartment application for a new place went through.
9. Wilson, explaining his infidelity during his previous marriage, to Cameron when she's feeling awful because she considered cheating on her husband while he was dying:
"Well my wife wasn't dying, she wasn't even sick. But I met someone who made me feel...funny. Good. And I... didn't wanna let that feeling go."
The lack of pronoun haunts me to this day.
10. Gay male patient harassing House and questioning why he won't treat him:
Patient: "Because you're a closet case?" (Eyeing House and Wilson who have just emerged from House's apartment)
Wilson: "Uh...we're not...together..."
House: "He is so self-loathing."
11. House nearly kills himself to attempt to prove there is no afterlife, Wilson waits over his bedside and then calls him an idiot and orders him extra pain medication. House's response is:
"I love you."
12. House: "Big romantic weekend in the Poconos could change everything."
13. Wilson refusing to participate in a board vote to oust House from the hospital and consequently losing him job for House. Wilson's furious with him over being put in that position but forgives House easily.
14. Wilson (speaking to House about dating a woman eerily similar to House): "Why not? Why not date you? It's perfect! We've known each other for years, we put up with all kinds of crap from each other and we keep coming back. We're a couple!"
House: "Are we still speaking metaphorically?"
15. (Less than a minute later when House keeps trying to convince Wilson he and Amber are a bad idea).
Wilson: "Wait a minute, every time I agree with you, you come up with a new argument. What are you trying to avoid?"
House: *Stares at Wilson with the most meaningful eye contact to ever eye contact*
Wilson: "Oh! Well if you'd looked at me with those flashing eyes before I was involved (clicks tongue)."
16. To Wilson's new girlfriend in a threatening, 'stay away from my man' voice:
House: "Give him back his sweatshirt... Pit stains don't become you."
17. House: "This isn't just about the sex! You like her personality! You like that she's conniving. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves..."
*tense pause*
House: "Oh my god. You're sleeping with me."
*flees restaurant*
18. House: "I have really gotta get you laid. If I have to plough that furrow myself, so be it."
19. Wilson: "I have a headache."
House: "We don't have to have sex, sometimes it's nice just to cuddle and talk."
20. (To a bellboy at a hotel House is staying at, while gesturing to Wilson)
House: "After he and I have sex, I'm gonna slit his throat and disembowel him in the bathtub."
21. House going to interview all of Wilson's ex wives to figure out how best to break him and Cuddy up when they aren't even dating. The look on his face when Bonnie explains how good at sex Wilson is? Priceless.
22. House: "Probably my deep and very unconscious desire to get Wilson into my bedroom."
22. House: "If you're coming back because you're attracted to the shine of my neediness. I'd be fine with that."
23. House borrowing money off Wilson in increasing amounts to test the limits of their friendship. He later admits to Wilson that: "Maybe I don't want to push this til it breaks".
24. House being convinced the male CIA agent who approaches him in season 4 is a stripper and sitting on a bench saying:
House: "You wanna close that door?"
CIA agent: "Why?"
House: "Well I assume you're gonna drop trou at some point during the dance, I don't see why I should share."
25. Wilson: "I want a threesome"
House: "Shouldn't we try a twosome first?"
26. All of that episode where House is talking to Dr Nolan and says Wilson is not a consolation prize. Legit became convinced halfway through that this was going to be House realising he's in love with Wilson and wants to keep living with him.
27. House hiring a P.I. to stalk Wilson after they've had a falling out to see if he misses him. The P.I. clocks this immediately and treats the case like that of a scorned lover needing to know if the other party is pining and if theres anything that can make him come back.
28. Wilson proposing to House in a restaurant to throw a wrench in his plans to date their neighbour.
29. Wilson got mad that Cuddy hurt House. So he bought her dream apartment out from under her in sheer spite and moved into said apartment with House.
30. Wilson being indecisive and unable to buy furniture for himself because of a flimsy sense of self and an inability to figure out who he is and what he wants. House teases him about this and challenges him to buy one peice of furniture that says something about who Wilson is.
The peice of furniture Wilson buys?
A piano organ for House.
31. House: "You were thinking about Wilson while were were having sex? That's cool so was I."
32. Wilson: "If things go wrong, I just want you to know..."
House: "If you're gonna say that you've always been secretly gay for me? Everyone just kind of assumed it."
33. Cameron: "Where do you put the cane?"
House: (referring to Wilson) "If he buys me dinner he can find out."
34. That gay as fuck ending, fuck I'll never be over it.
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chongoblog · 5 months
Text
HOW TO READ BINARY MESSAGES
Hey there all you gamers out there! Have you ever seen a bunch of ones and zeroes in a television show and wondered "Huh. I wonder if this binary here is some sort of Secret Code?" and instead of googling it, you wanted to try to figure it out yourself? Well I know how to do that, and people always go "WHOA" when I tell them that, and I figured I would teach you all as well!
Now just a warning ahead of time, translating binary yourself will take some time and require a little bit of math, so don't say I didn't warn you.
So let's take a binary string like this frame from the Gravity Falls episode "Soos and The Real Girl" (which, spoilers, IS a secret message)
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So the first thing you're gonna want to do is divide the binary into groups of 8. If it is a secret message, then each group of 8 bits will represent as ASCII value (or, for the sake of this explanation, letters). So let's divide them up.
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That gives us: 01010011, 01010000, 01000001, 01000011, 01000101, 01001010, 01000001, 01001101, 01010100, 01010111, and 01001111. Now, you might have noticed that all of these binary strings have something in common. They all start with "010"! That's gonna be your first tell that you've got a secret message on your hands. Every letter in ASCII starts with either 010 or 011 for lowercase letters. So if you see the groups don't start with either of those, then it's just random gibberish binary that someone just keysmashed 1 and 0 for. So now we know we have a message, so we can begin translating. And to show off how that works, we're going to translate the first set together!
The way binary works is that each digit from the right to the left represents a power of 2. The farthest right digit represents 1. The second to last digit represents 2. The third to last digit is 4. Then 8. Then 16. When reading more complex binary stuff, you go further than that, but for reading ASCII letters, we only use 5 digits. For each of those digits, if the digit is 1, then you add the value that the digit represents. If it's 0, then you don't. From there, you add up the numbers you've got, and then run the sum through the handy dandy a1z26 cipher (A = 1, B = 2, C = 3, and so on)
So again, let's have a look at that first string: 01010011
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And there you go! Now you just need to repeat this for every letter! It sounds harrowing at first, but over time you get the hang of it to the point where you can do it in your head. Feel free to give is a shot yourself and decode the rest of the message from the Gravity Falls episode
Now obviously there are a few exceptions. For example if you have a number or punctuation it will start with "001", and from there translating a number from 0 to 9 is easy since it's the same thing but without the A1Z26 cipher, but with punctuation you have to remember specific values, which is a pain in the ass, but if you're translating a decoded message, you don't really need to know the punctuation.
And that should do it! Hope you enjoyed this little explanation.
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ceesimz · 2 months
Text
Reverie - Part 1
Autistic Reader x Barça Femení - Part 2
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Hey, I have some things to say before you start reading. ASD is a very vast spectrum, no two people with it experience the same stuff on a day-to-day basis. This story is written with my knowledge from people I know, and also from my own experiences living with autism too. So don't take this as 'the' perspective, this is a drop in the ocean and this most definitely isn't a handbook on autism. If anyone has any questions or thoughts about this, or ASD in general, you are more than welcome to message me or drop something in my inbox! This is just part one, if you like this first half of the story (because I have no idea how this will go down), let me know if you wanna see the second part, it's ready to go whenever.
Big big thanks to @copper-16 for editing it and leaving such lovely comments on it, I wouldn't have the confidence to post this if it wasn't for your words. Thank you for taking a chance on this story and opening yourself up to learn more, the world needs more people like you and we're all much better off that you're here🫶🏼🫶🏼
This is my favourite thing I've ever written, and I kinda feel like I'm giving away a piece of my heart by posting this (dramatic much), let me know what you think, hope you like it :)
“Are you ready to go in?”
Are you?
Are you ready to walk into a new setting, head held high, and show your teammates you are worth it? 
Or are you going to back out? Reverse right out the parking space, speed off to the airport, and catch a flight to god knows where?
That's simply not a possibility. Even if the thought of walking through those reception doors that stare tauntingly at you from across the car park perturbs you more than anything else, there's no backing out now.
Barcelona, the pride of Catalunya, the dominants of Europe, doesn't accept quitters. And that fact glares at you, along with all of its history and values held in the iconic badge that countless legends had adorned, and with it came a legacy you weren’t sure you had the strength to bare on your back. The new number nine, born and raised in Norway but made into the player you are now in Germany.
Here you were, after five years playing for Frankfurt, where you had grown accustomed to a comfortable routine with familiar faces and the same surroundings for so long, now in a new country that held so many unknowns. For someone with so many disadvantages ever present in their life, living in three different countries is a pretty impressive achievement.
Please, let it all be worth it.
After a few frustrating years in the Frauen-Bundesliga, you had signed for the best team in Europe and, arguably, the rest of the world too. Frankfurt had been a beautiful experience, one that had changed your life, but as a result of many, many long discussions with family and friends and psychologists, you had come to the terrifying realisation that it was time for a new challenge.
Why was that absolutely petrifying? Because you and life changes did not get along. Even after 26 years of living, it just wasn’t meant to be. But, such is life, and chances had to be taken.
You'd always be thankful for Frankfurt. Moving to play there was the first time you took such a huge leap of faith, and it had worked out well, eventually. In your eyes, the first season there was a disaster, but your mother would say it was the proudest year of her life. It had been difficult for her to see at times just how much you struggled at points, sure, but you made it to the light at the end of the tunnel and, by the end of it, you were a completely different person in the most incredible way possible. From then on, you continued to grow.
Yet, that was the thing with the German side. When you joined, they were a club with a legacy most teams would envy, but they never amounted to anything more during your time there. You fell in love with the staff, your teammates, and just about everything else during your time there. The only problem, which was pretty damn big in the grand scheme of things, was that you fell out of love with the football you were playing.
You were able to grow and survive at Frankfurt. You wanted to flourish and thrive at Barcelona.
Except, in comparison to the average human, there were a lot more obstacles ahead that could prevent you from accomplishing that aspiration. Over your life, you had overcome many bumps in the road, some leaving a harsh imprint on your self-worth and others hardly affecting you. For example, talking to the girl you were roomed with at 16 at the Norway Football Team camp had turned out to be one of the best things you could have done. Yet, in the same breath, playing for the national team had left you in a broken state, and as a result, you haven't played for them in a few years. 
The back and forth travel was too much, and opting out of playing for Norway, as much as it broke your heart that you weren’t strong enough to represent your country on the international stage, it allowed you to rest and recuperate so that you were at the top of your game for your club. Did you dream of wearing your country’s crest one day? Yes, all footballers did. But you weren’t in a place to do that, and you’re not sure you ever will be again.
Signing for Barcelona could be life-changing, but it could also be world-shattering in the worst way imaginable. This was a pretty sizable leap of faith, and the only way that faith could form into something incredible is if you made that happen. You, no one else. That thought filled you with both determination and crushing anxiety. This just could not be another failed attempt. There was no way you could come back.
Ultimately, it would have been downright psychopathic to turn down such an amazing offer from Barcelona. Two years playing for a club that's won three of the last four Champion's League finals? A team that had just completed the quadruple for the first time in their history? Yeah, nonsensical.
However, like always, there were a number of doubts that spiralled from those incredible stats. Did they need you? If they had a mostly flawless season, did they really need a 26 year old woman whose mind hardly functioned like every other person? Did they really need someone who couldn't even play for the national team anymore because they were too overwhelmed with their life? Did they need someone who needed their hand held through every life event, big or small? Did they-
“Hey, you ready?” 
That voice had some kind of magic to it. It was like clock-work, this always happened when she was around; that voice in your head consuming you with unwanted thoughts was erased as soon as you tore your eyes away from the doors and looked at the woman beside you. 
Ingrid. The one person that had single-handedly convinced you to come here. To Barcelona, playing in a hot country, with people you don’t know, speaking a language you can’t understand- oh my God, what have you done?!
“I… god, I don’t know.” You breathed out in a whisper, hardly intelligible. 
The world around you honed in on this one moment here, the peak of your career so far. Apart from Ingrid and the doors to the building and what was in store behind them, there was nothing else that could grasp your attention. There could be a blazing fire behind your car, a lion running full speed towards your car door, or a thief in the back seat for all you knew. Nothing else mattered. The two sides of your mind, the devil and angel on your shoulders were battling it out again, as they always were, whilst your hands fidgeted anxiously in your lap.
“You have to go in at some point, snuppa. You can’t stay in the car forever.” Ingrid softly reminded you, moving to take hold of your hand to comfort your stimming. “It will be a really good day, I promise. My years here so far have been the best of my life, everyone is so nice and welcoming. I never thought I could enjoy training as much as I do now. You will be fine, I have no doubts.”
“I’m not sure about that one.” You laughed nervously, eyes back on the building before you, now slightly glazed over and blurred. 
“I am certain about everything I just said.” Ingrid stated definitively, squeezing your hand. “Plus, not everyone in there are complete strangers. You have me, Mapi, you know Caro and you’ve met Jonatan and some other staff members. You know Loren, the team psychologist who you can go see any time you want. We’ll get you past this part of today, and then you have the whole afternoon to do whatever you’d like.”
You nodded at her words, desperately trying to remind yourself of them over and over so that they stick, and you can get through those damn doors. 
“You know how much easier my life would be if I knew how everything was going to play out?” You blurted out a moment later, Ingrid smiling in amusement. “It would be a breeze, Ingrid.”
“It would also make your life very boring, min skatt.”
“For you, it would be. For me, I'd live freely.”
Ingrid just laughed and shook her head, squeezing your hand once more before looking at the time on her watch.
“Come on. We have to do this one way or another, and I'm not letting you go in on your own. You want to make me late to training?” She teased, targeting your weak spot. Evil.
“That's cruel, Ingrid. So cruel.” You rolled your eyes but nevertheless stepped out of the car once you'd turned it off.
You didn't make it far though. Once you had gotten your kit bag from the boot of the car, you closed it and froze. Eyes unmoving from the daunting building in front of you.
“Would you like some company after training? We can stay at home, or go out for food, or do anything you'd like.” Ingrid offered, snapping you out of your anxious trance.
Even after… god, ten years now, you were still sometimes left dumb-founded by how well Ingrid knew you. A lot of the time, you yourself are in the dark about what you need, but your fellow Norwegian just gets it, even when you don't. It's pretty safe to say that your life, your whole career, would look a hell of a lot different if you had never met Ingrid.
If you put her characteristics into a different section when it comes to your favourite things about her, the thing you love most about the defender beside you is how she treats you. Sure, the majority of people treated you with respect and kindness, but the defender's love and care was on a whole other level. Like in this scenario now, when she knows you're too overwhelmed by the situation that confronts you to be able to think clearly. But here she is, giving you clear and thought-out options that off-kilt the tunnel vision you have on this one miniscule event, and now gives you something to look forward to. 
It reminds you that the world won't end if this training session doesn't go how you want it to, that life goes on afterwards. It makes the road clearer, the journey easier, and allows solace to be found in a down-right terrifying moment.
The funny thing is, however, is that your new home is actually Ingrid's home. No, you weren't living with her, but you were indeed staying in her apartment. She basically lived at Mapi's apartment anyway, so the second she caught wind of your transfer, she immediately offered her disregarded apartment up to you. It was a huge item checked off the ‘things that need doing after uprooting your entire settled, content, perfectly routine life’ to-do list, but you couldn't quite relish in the relief yet.
That's because, though it went unsaid, another factor of Ingrid's offer of letting you stay was so that, if all went wrong and you couldn't make a life for yourself in Barcelona, there was no tenancy to rip up and ultimately it would be a lot less hassle than if you had rented an entirely new place. Ingrid's excuse of not changing your name on the tenancy for now was so that you could settle in with as little stress as possible, but you knew the underlying meaning. Basically, it was a giant get out of jail free card.
“I think I would like that a lot, actually. Thanks.” You said to the taller girl next to you, whose arm had come to wrap around your shoulders.
“Perfect! María has some things to do but I'm free all afternoon, so we can figure something out. For now though, we have to train.” 
Taking in a deep breath, you nodded once more.
“That's all it is. Just training.” You told yourself, physically shaking the anxiety off of your chest and marching forwards. You got as far as those damn doors before you froze on the spot again. “Fuck, this is so scary.”
“I know it is.” Ingrid sympathised, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “We've got this though. It's just training, right?” 
“It's just training. And a few introductions. And about a million new people.” You sighed. “Will you stick with me the whole time?”
“Like glue, søster.” Ingrid said firmly, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Let's go.”
And just like that, you did walk into the building with your head held high, disregarding the burdening nerves and replacing them with a deep-rooted determination to prove you are worth it. Maybe your teammates would think otherwise if they knew the secret you were keeping from them, but for now, you would put up a front and act just like them. Your best bet at succeeding here is to fit in, and that's what you'll do. 
Ingrid wasn't impressed with this tactic of yours, not in the slightest. Jonatan and other senior staff members knew about you, Loren the psychologist knew about you, and Mapi knew. Besides that, everyone else was in the dark. There was only so long Ingrid could last before she had to tell someone at least, like Alexia or Irene or Marta, because she wanted the best for you and the best couldn't be given if your needs weren't catered for.
Like now, as she watched your whole face change in a split second as the mask came down so fast that, had she blinked a second later, she would have missed it entirely. The tension to the way you held your shoulders was all the evidence she needed that your whole nervous system was wracked with dread, and though she should expect it by now, it didn't stop the jab of sympathy she felt for you.
Of course she knew how difficult this would be for you, she just had really high hopes. Sometimes, even after all these years, it slipped her mind how much you still struggled with things. You'd gotten a lot better at dealing with various different circumstances and that mere fact could bring tears to her eyes if she thought about how far you had come, but moments like these were a snap back to the reality you still lived.
You lived so beautifully, you were so strong now, that your struggles were hardly visible anymore. Yet, when one knows a person for so long, they come to learn the signs. Ingrid knew you like the back of her hand. It still amazed her how quick you put the mask back up, normally being so care-free and light around her. But here, outside of the room everyone was due to meet in for the morning, a feigned smile on your face and a falsity to your posture signified all that Ingrid needed to know.
Even despite your dawdling in the car park, you and Ingrid were some of the first to arrive at the meeting, only a handful of unfamiliar faces scattered around the room. Jonatan looked up at the door upon your arrival and his face lit up, immediately dropping what he was doing to come and greet you with a beaming smile. He offers a gentle handshake, also being sure to speak in clear English so that your mind wasn’t overloaded more than it already was. All of it was reassuring, especially as he kept you off to the side as the room slowly began to fill up, before guiding you to the last chair on the front row beside Ingrid so that the meeting could start. Thankfully, to your relief, he gave you a short introduction to the rest of the squad, you only briefly turning and giving the room a general wave before allowing Jonatan to move onto more pressing matters.
From then on, you were rushed off your feet with introductions and training, all of which weren’t half as bad as you’d expected. During the short walk from the meeting to the changing room, a few others came along to properly greet you, all whilst Ingrid stayed close to your side. Mapi had also come bounding along after you the second you left the first room, Ingrid wincing at the excitement her girlfriend met you with but instantly that worry was erased as soon as you turned to Mapi with a matching overjoyed smile. 
By the time you actually got onto the pitch, you had spoken to almost all of the team already. And like Ingrid said, they were just as amazing as you had hoped they would be. Every single one, in their own ways, welcomed you to the team and made small talk with you for a few moments before letting whoever next came by to have their own chance at greeting you. But, it wasn’t until you were about to join in with the warm-up that the person you’d been most nervous about meeting came along.
Your new captain, Alexia. The powerhouse of the Barcelona team, the one you had to leave the best impression on.
A few days prior, amidst a conversation in the corner of Ingrid’s favourite cafe, you had sheepishly demanded that she give you a run-down of each and every single member of the team. There had been Ona, who Ingrid described as a lightning fast defender whose jestful clapbacks were even quicker than her sprint bursts on the pitch. Then Cata, the new number one goalkeeper whose cheek was sometimes too much for even the younger members of the team. Jana, a surefire future talent who was often found beside her quieter, more reserved but equally talented counterpart, Bruna. Patri and Pina were much the same, as were Vicky and Salma. Ingrid gave you a short but detailed profile of all of them, leaving the most important for last. Alexia, who initially came across as slightly cold due to the stoic, focused expression she usually wore. But, to her teammates and those closest to her, she was a world class leader, an even better player, and most importantly, a defiantly caring person with a personality that had more sides than a kaleidoscope. 
Upon hearing the exit door slamming shut, you turned your attention to the direction of the sound, only to be met with her. Casually strolling over, squinting in the face of the sun, she came over to you with a… a smile on her face?
“Hola! You must be the novota, nice to meet you.” She beamed, inviting you into a quick, polite hug before standing back. “Happy to be here?”
As always with new people, especially someone like the woman before you, you floundered internally for a moment, so many replies flitting around your mind with so little time to react.
“Y-yeah! Really happy to be here, thank you, Alexia.” You landed on, and judging by her reaction, it was the right thing to say. 
“Good, I am glad to hear that. Sorry I was not here for the meeting, you’ve met everybody already, sí?”
“Yes, Jonatan introduced me in the briefing.” 
“Good. Bueno, let’s get started. I am excited to be working with you.” The Spaniard smiled brightly once more, before gesturing loosely for the pair of you to join the rest of the group.
The rest of the day, as they say, is history.
It honestly went by in a blur, and if Ingrid was at all surprised by the way you literally fell into your bed when you arrived home, not surfacing from the newfound safe haven until about an hour later, she didn’t show it. This was Ingrid after all, and every quirk of yours, new or old, still brought a smile to her face. Ten years later and she couldn’t help but love you more each time she saw you.
The first week goes a lot smoother than you could have dreamed of to be honest - it’s only the start of preseason after all. But, there is still plenty of time for cracks to show. It only takes two days for all your progress to tear at the seams.
On the first day of your second week, you’re walking into training on your own for the first time since you joined. Shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Wrong! Big fucking deal actually, because now it’s like walking blind, heading straight for what feels like danger. Unguided, no one by your side, only joined by the weight of an elephant seated right on your heart.
With the help of Ingrid of course, who else, you had established somewhat of a routine that made the transition so much easier. But it wasn’t quite clear until now, just how much easier it had made showing up to training everyday. Because, without your Norwegian counterpart who would be absent from training, you were left to show up all alone, and suddenly everything became ten times harder. 
Ingrid was more than just your friend, she was the one constant in this new life you lived that was always present. Anything you needed, one glance from you in her direction and she’d be with you in an instant. She, as stupid as it may seem, was the foundation of your routine, and now that she wasn’t here, all the hard work you’d made to settle in seemed to crumble under your feet. 
Three weeks of living in Barcelona, one week of training successfully completed, just for you to end up back at square one. And that meant you were trapped in your own body, limbs acting entirely on autopilot as your legs carried you over to those stupid doors that once again stood intimidatingly in front of you. Just like last week, except this time there was no one to coax you out of your shell, no one to mindlessly guide you over to one of the tables in the canteen, no one to walk you out onto the training pitch. You were all alone.
An unfortunate tactic hadn’t left your habits after all these years: avoidance. What better way to deal with something, then to not deal with it all, right? Right? 
Obviously, you couldn’t miss the whole day, you still had commitments and expectations you needed to live up to. If there was one thing that you couldn’t handle (apart from almost everything in this neurotypical world) it was letting people down, disappointing them.
So, if you opted out of breakfast for the day and beelined straight for the changing rooms instead, what business was it to anyone else? You were here, that’s all they could ask for. The plan was to get dressed into your training kit as fast as physically possible, before heading out onto the pitch for some time alone before everyone else came along. 
…Except, just as you were lacing up your boots, hand trembling at an embarrassing intensity as you did so, the door opened prematurely. And, really, out of everyone, did it have to be her?
“Oh. I did not expect anyone to be in here. Bon dia.” Alexia smiled at you, heading to her cubby just a few seats away from yours.
“Bon dia.” You muttered sheepishly, keeping your head down and tying your laces at a wildly uncontrolled speed. If Alexia noticed, she didn’t mention it. Thank god.
“I was just going to get some extra practice in, if you wanted to join me.” She offered, swapping her trainers for her boots since she was already in her training gear.
Great minds think alike..?
“Yeah, I was going to do the same thing. Thanks.”
“Ay, it's nothing. It's great that you're so hard working, you’re already fitting right in.” Sorry, could you say that again, or write it down even? “Ready?”
“What? Oh- sorry, yes, I’m ready.” You gave her a tight-lipped smile before slipping past where she stood in the doorway and heading towards the pitch.
“How are you feeling about your time here so far?” The captain asked kindly, the beating sound of boots clicking against the floor echoing far too long in your ears.
“Um, good. It’s an honour playing for this team, so.” You shrugged, offering an almost robotic, rehearsed answer.
“And what about how you actually feel? Not what you’re supposed to feel?” Alexia inquired lightly, an earnest and sympathetic look across her face. Slightly suspicious.
“Well… still good. It’s just different, isn’t it. Yeah.” You mumbled, cheeks flushing bright red as you crossed your arms tightly over your chest.
“Of course it is different. You were in Germany for five years, right?” You nodded affirmatively. “So it is a big, big change. I haven’t been anywhere else but here for twelve years, I cannot imagine adjusting to anywhere else.”
Oh, Ingrid. Seriously?
“I’m here though, I have to leave Germany behind.” You stated in a flat voice, honestly quite done with this topic but it’d be rude to voice so.
“If that is how you want to think, then do it like that. You have transitioned very well, we are all impressed.” Alexia shrugged with a soft smile, punching in the code for the storage cupboard and opening it soon after. “Grab the footballs, I will get some tiny goals. The others can get the rest when they’re done filling their faces.”
Thank god for that.
Alexia ended that conversation there, directing her focus on training from that moment on, much to your relief. All that you learnt from this day was that you needed to have a conversation with Ingrid. Your sixth sense was strong, even if to others it seemed like Alexia was just being an averagely kind person, you just knew. 
The good thing was, you couldn’t quite call that day a disaster. In the end, you got through it, even squeezing in a few jokes and laughs here and there throughout the day.
It’s the next day that the first incident occurred. It happened like this; Ingrid isn’t in again, you learn she’s got some kind of stomach virus, so you turn up once more on your own. This time, it wasn’t quite so scary, but like yesterday you skipped breakfast again. And just like yesterday, Alexia met you in the changing rooms to do some early practice again. Except, there was one fatal flaw to your routine this day. It came back and bit you in the ass pretty harshly.
“Ale, what are you doing after this?” Mapi wondered from your right as she stood up after Jona had ended training for the day.
“Eh, nothing.” She shrugged, going to ask you the same thing as she reached her hands out to help you up.
For all you knew, the Spanish pair you were sandwiched between could be speaking absolute gibberish, nothing was registering. As soon as you stood up, everything went hazy. And then… your vision had gone, your body felt unbelievably heavy, and had it not been for Alexia’s tight grip, you’d have fallen back there and then.
“Hey!” Alexia called out in concern, feeling you go limp in her hold. “Mapi, she’s fainting!”
“What!?” Mapi cried, immediately falling to her knees as Alexia safely guided you to the floor.
“I don’t know, she just collapsed!” 
Her voice dripped with worry as Mapi frantically looked around, only to find most people had headed inside already. Meanwhile, you were still awake, not totally out cold, but your eyes ached unbearably and you’d lost all control of your movements. Alexia’s hands flitted over your body, looking for any obvious problems but she couldn’t find any. She repeated your name over and over, only receiving somewhat of a whimper in reply.
“Mapi, go find someone, now!” Alexia demanded, the defender instantly rising to her feet and heading for the door. The captain turned back to you, her hands gently coming up to cradle your face where you lay on your side. “Hey, I need you to listen! Can you hear me?”
“Mhm.” You whined, providing the woman before you with an ounce of relief.
“What’s wrong? You need to tell me so we can help you, cariño, you just fainted on us.” She said frantically, her wide eyes boring into yours when you opened them.
Identifying the problem, even in your state, was quite simple. It was a common problem, something you were well versed with, though you rarely ever let it get this bad.
“Forgot to eat.” You mustered up your remaining strength, which really was very little, to answer her and quell her worries.
Thinking back to this moment in probably an hour’s time, you’d laugh at Alexia’s face when you said those three words, because she looked utterly perplexed.
“You forgot to eat?” Alexia repeated with a frown, but she couldn’t dwell on it much longer because Mapi came running over with the medical team hot on her tails.
“Is she awake?” The brunette woman asked desperately, opting out of kneeling back beside you so as to not overcrowd you.
“Yes, and she said she forgot to eat today?” Alexia looked up at her friend, refusing to shift out of the way and instead choosing to stick by your side. 
“Oh, that would explain it.” Mapi sighed in relief, only puzzling Alexia more. Was this… normal for you?
The medics fussed over you, asking you questions and ultimately overwhelming you way too much, something Mapi notices quickly.
“Oye, basta, slow down. Her blood sugar is low, she needs something quickly. Get her an energy gel.” Mapi commanded them, now joining you by your head and smiling her bright smile down at you, combing back some of your hair. “Hola preciosa, we'll get you back feeling better soon.” Just as she said that, a member of the medical staff pulled out one of the energy gels the team used for games. “Can you have this for me? It will make you feel better, I promise.”
With a nod, the people around you helped you to sit up as Mapi tore  open the gel packet, with Alexia still almost frozen in confusion. The defender noticed, grinning in amusement and quickly flicking her ear to bring her back down to earth.
“Ah! What's that for?” Alexia winced, watching on as Mapi shook her head and handed you the gel pack.
Your hand trembled as you raised it to your mouth, hardly possessing the strength to squeeze it enough to get anything out of it, but just as Mapi went to help you, Alexia got there first.
“It’s okay, here.” She does it for you, one hand on the packet and the other on your elbow that shakes under her hold. She seemed to be grounded now, knowing that it isn't the right moment to be wrapped up in her own thoughts when you're here in front of her, needing security and comfort whilst it takes a couple minutes to come back to yourself. “Easy with it. You'll feel better soon.”
And you did, literally no less than two minutes after having the energy gel, your nausea and dizziness and whatnot near enough disappeared. Though, your physical symptoms gave way for a barrage of anxiety, because this situation would consequently lead to an unwanted and challenging (but most likely necessary) conversation with Jonatan and the rest of the staff. They had also seen you, on the floor, near enough passed out, as a result of your own actions. You could only imagine the things they were thinking right now, and that unknown was scarier than the actual situation that had occurred beforehand.
“Feeling good now. Thanks everyone.” You said shyly, rising to your feet and avoiding everyone's gaze.
“You sure?” Alexia checked, giving you a look that tells you that you shouldn't even try to bullshit her.
“Well, a little bit… woozy, I guess. But much better than before, I swear.” You nodded, hating the feeling of everyone’s eyes on you. 
“Let’s go inside, I’ll ask the catering staff to make up some food for you, if you want?” Mapi offered as her hand hovers against your back, not touching but guiding you back inside the main building.
“Okay.” You shrugged.
Meanwhile Alexia trailed behind, trying to figure out how, as captain, she could help this situation. It’s in her best interest to care for her team, and given what she had learnt, it was now clear that there was a lot more she could do than sit back and watch. She didn’t want to come across as overbearing, something Ingrid had warned her about, but she realised it was time to step in.
“Why don’t we go to one of the office rooms rather than the canteen?” She suggested just as Mapi went to open the door heading into said room. The defender should have thought of that sooner, but she’s glad her friend mentioned it, realising it’s most definitely the better option right now for you. 
You were taken to an empty office, followed into the room by Alexia and Mapi and some of the physios, and if they weren’t overcrowding you outside, they definitely were now. In all honesty, as much as you were grateful for their care, you wanted to burrow under your duvet in bed at home and not surface for probably about a week. You wanted to grab a tray of cookies, eat them whilst seated on the edge of your bed so you didn’t get crumbs everywhere, and crawl under the sheets safe in the darkness of the four walls you had struggled to leave the past two days.
But no, you were here, stuck in a reality that in no way felt real at all. What were you doing here? Sat at a round table, surrounded by medical staff chatting between themselves, not really bothered about your blip anymore, whilst two of Spain’s greatest players stand off to the side, both pairs of eyes trained solely on you.
You, a no-name off the back of an unsuccessful run in Germany that had just collapsed after training. Them, Champion’s League winners and well-established in the sport for years already, and decades to come.
“Preciosa?” Mapi appeared beside you suddenly, speaking softly as her hand fell on your shoulder. “Is it okay if I leave now? Ingrid is still sick at home, I promised I would get back to her as fast as I could. If you need me to stay, I can. They won’t keep you here for much longer, they’re just making sure you eat before you get back home.”
She should be with Ingrid, her girlfriend who is much worse off at home. Not with you, who simply made a foolish mistake and was now wasting everyone’s time.
“Go home.” You told her as your own hands squeezed anxiously at your upper arms where they sat crossed on the table.
“Okay.” Mapi smiled pitifully down at you, giving you a light forehead kiss before backing off. She pulled Alexia to the side, giving her a warning glare. “Look after her, for me and for Ingrid. Protect her, too. Don’t let them overwhelm her, she just wants to get home.”
“Sí. Of course.” Alexia replied firmly, a solid look in her eyes that Mapi knew to trust immediately. 
The defender slipped out of the room with no further fuss, leaving you alone with Alexia and the medical staff. Not for long, though.
“Guys, could you give us a moment? And can someone go collect her food from the canteen, please.” 
They nodded and stepped out of the room, Alexia closing the door softly behind them. She turned back to you, watching as you kept your head down and focused on the shapes you traced on the wood of the table. Your shoulders were visibly tense, so uptight they’re basically touching your ears, and she noticed just how intensely your leg was bouncing up and down.
“Do you need anyth-”
“Did Ingrid tell you?” You asked bluntly, gulping back the lump in your throat that really had no place making itself known at this moment - now was not the time for a meltdown. Save it for later, in the safety of your flat.
Alexia blew out a breath, coming over to perch on the edge of the desk a few seats away from you.
“If you’re talking about what I think you are, then… yes. She did tell me.” She answered cautiously, trying to gauge your reaction but you didn’t give her much, just a single nod. “She did it with the best intentions though. It wasn’t to… purposely go behind your back. She just wants the best for you, and the more people that know, the more support you can have here.”
“I guess.” You murmured under your breath, clearing your throat after and moving to rest your chin atop your arms.
“Why… why didn’t you want anybody to know?” The midfielder wondered in a soft tone, trying hard not to scare you off or go over the top. If she wants to help you and understand you, which she desperately does, this is the pathway she has to, albeit reluctantly, go down.
“Wanted people to get to know me, not a label.” You frowned, hastily wiping the tear that slips out with the frustration slowly bubbling inside of you. “Didn’t want to be a problem for anyone. Wanted to fit in.”
Just like that, it all clicked for Alexia.
The feigned smiles, sometimes forced laughter, the troubled look on your face whenever you thought you were alone, all of it adds up. You had repressed parts of you so that things went as smooth sailing as possible, so that people didn’t think any differently of you or immediately feel drawn away like they often did. The biggest part of you, what makes you you, is the one thing you didn’t want people to see, out of nothing but complete and all-consuming fear. And Alexia would be damned if she let you go on like this.
“Can I take a seat next to you?” She said quietly, a hint of a smile on her face when you nodded again. She did exactly that; without making too much noise in the still room, she pulled up the chair next to you and sat down, her eyes raking up and down your face.
“If I told you that I don’t think any differently of you at all, would you believe me?” She began with. 
You just shrugged dismissively, not having moved a single muscle in the past few minutes apart from breathing and blinking. If you don’t move, if you don’t draw attention to yourself, perhaps this whole thing will disappear. A girl can dream.
“Because I don’t, cariño. I really don’t. You are not a problem for any of us at all. You face different struggles than us, but nobody thinks of you as anything less than a great player and an even better person. We are all glad you are here. I and others on the team will face different struggles than you, and I can bet you would never think any differently of us. Am I right?” 
Her words break through the defensive wall you’d put up to protect yourself from anything else around you. A common feature of the start of your meltdowns, except it’s quite possible that your captain had just stopped it from going any further.
Hesitantly, you sat up from your slouched position and wiped tiredly at your face.
“No, I would never.” You told her, slumping back against your chair and fiddling with the drawstring on your shorts.
“Exactly. You don’t need to worry about any of that at all, I promise. You are one of us now. A culer. We will take care of you.” She smiled brightly, you can hear it in her voice. So for the first time since you’d entered the room, you turned to look at her, only to find her eyes were filled with earnesty and kindness. And… perhaps for the first time since you’d arrived in Barcelona, you truly did feel like you belong here. Like you could make a life for yourself here, against all odds.
“Thanks.” You sniffled, feeling the remnants of your outburst fade away, only to leave overwhelming exhaustion in its wake.
“It’s okay. You can come to me anytime for anything. There will always be someone here for you to talk to, and I’ll be the first to fight for you if that’s ever necessary.” Now, you were actually smiling. A genuine one, too.
“I think Ingrid might beat you to it, actually.” You teased her, watching as she grins.
“You’re probably right.” She chuckled, before pausing. You already knew what she was about to say before she opened her mouth. Neurotypicals are just way too predictable. “How did you know Ingrid told me?”
“You can just tell when someone knows. They treat you differently.” Alexia frowned anxiously at that.
“I didn’t… did I treat you differently?” She questioned, along with a poor attempt at disguising the undertones of fear in her voice.
“You haven’t, not really, but… I don’t know, I can just tell instantly. It’s hard to explain. You haven’t treated me differently, but I could tell you knew compared to when you didn’t know. The look on your face too. But thank you for… just everything so far. You have helped a lot, so.” You shrugged. She smiled, a little in relief, but nodded nevertheless.
“You don’t need to thank me. Now, can I ask some more about what happened today? You said you forgot to eat?” 
“Yeah. It’s just because my routine was messed up, that’s all. Yesterday morning I ate before training because Ingrid had baked me some pastries, but today I had none left and then genuinely forgot. It happens sometimes, it’s just part of it.”
“Part of what?”
“Autism.” Duh.
“Oh. I did not know that.” Alexia stated simply. 
“Yeah, well, most people don’t.” You told her. Alexia nodded understandingly, a plan of action already formed in her mind.
“I’m sure you already know this, as an athlete, but it’s important for your safety that this doesn’t happen again. So I have a solution in mind that could help.” You hummed to tell her to continue. “I can ask either the catering staff here, or find a private chef, to start meal prepping for you. We can organise it on the club’s behalf so that you don’t have to pay anything. I will go with you, or for you if you’d like, to Jonatan and help sort it out for you. You can meet with a nutritionist to figure out what food you need and tell them what you do and don’t like, we can sort it all out for you. It wouldn’t be a problem.” 
Oh. You’d never thought about that before. 
“I guess that could work.” You decided after a few moments of consideration. 
That would actually be a really helpful solution. Certainly one less thing to worry about, and it could add a secure layer to your routine. An important one too.
“Would you be okay with that?” Alexia wondered, smiling when you nodded. “Good. Leave it to me, I will get it sorted for you.” 
She paused again, clearly hesitant about something. You raised an eyebrow at her, trying to coax it out of her with a look, but you couldn’t help the amused smile on your face at the sudden, faint blush that landed on her cheeks.
“What is it?” 
“Uh… there is no way to ask this without coming across as… very forward, to say the least.” She started, shaking her head at her own ridiculousness. “May I get your number? For captain’s reasons, of course.”
“Right.” You smirked, watching as she shakes her head, this time at your teasing, and grabs a pen from the stationary pot in the centre of the table. “And what shall I write it on?”
“Well… just use my hand, I guess.” She suggested, offering the back of her hand out for you. You grinned and gently took hold of it, jotting down your number for her. 
“There you go, Capi.” You smiled, clicking the pen and putting it back.
Not long after that, one of the staff members came in with the food Alexia and Mapi had organised for you. So, leaving your captain with a promise that you'll eat it the second you walked through your apartment door, you went home. It was a great meal, and if it'd be the catering staff at Barcelona that would do your meal prep, well, it'd be a great deal.
That night went just like the others; you relaxed for some time to decompress after training, until you eventually started feeling somewhat human again, and arose from bed to do one of any of your hobbies that you felt like doing that night. Reading, watching movies, drawing and painting, listening to music, or any others that pique your interest that night. 
On some occasions, you'll be so mentally exhausted from your day that none of them seem at all appealing, and it takes a lengthy period of time to feel yourself again. An hour, the rest of the evening, or sometimes even the whole week. After especially hard times, it could take weeks. Fortunately you hadn't been through such events in years, but the fear of falling into that hole ever again was always present in the back of your mind.
The thing about having this disorder is that some things never change. Most things never change. You learn to cope, you can heal from past experiences, but in the grand scheme of it all, things never change. Certain events, people, even words can still be triggers. No amount of therapy or coping mechanisms or whatever, can help. You were born this way, and you would die this way. 
You would live a life and still struggle with even the most mundane things. Washing dishes was a no-go, the sensory issues were way too intense for that one. A day without showering first thing in the morning was automatically a write off. Bad performances in matches could still lead to a meltdown on certain days. One wrong look from someone can send you spiralling.
Autism was a blessing and a curse. It made you who you are; you have no idea who you would be without it. Yet, at the same time, it could debilitate you to such extreme degrees that… at night, when you were alone under the disguise of darkness,  you can't help but wonder what you could have done with your life had you not been born with this burden.
And with the day you'd had already, well, the only way you'd learnt to get over these things were to move on from them. That's what you had to do. If you become too concentrated on them, analysed every detail that went wrong, thought about every opinion those who witnessed it could hold, you'd suffer for it more than you needed to.
You couldn't move on if others couldn't move on though.
Unknown: Did you get home safe?
There was most likely only one person it could be, but where's the fun in that?
You: Depends who I'm talking to…
Alexia: It's Alexia??
Too easy.
You: I knew it was you, dumbass. Yes I got home safe, thank you. Food was great too :)
Although, when a few minutes went by after that last text, the doubts came flooding in. Did you take it too far with her? It was a bit ballsy to say that, she's just checking in on you. Captain duties.
Then again, who was it calling you?
“Hello?” You frowned, and this was another instance where you're cursing yourself, because why was your heart racing and cheeks burning at one random phone call?
“Dumbass, huh?” Came a smug voice, and then your heart was racing for another, more light-hearted reason.
“Yeah, sorry about that… apparently I'm a bit of a keyboard warrior.” You blushed sheepishly, relieved beyond belief when the woman down the line laughed.
“Don't worry about it. You're feeling okay now, sí?” 
“Yes, fine. You know, I didn't plan for today to happen. It just did.” You mumbled, still embarrassed by it all.
“I know, no one blames you for it. I just wanted to check in with you.” 
“I'm good, thanks. I've only ever had that happen like once before, I guess training on an empty stomach isn't the greatest idea in the world.” You joked lightly, Alexia humming in agreement.
“How does it happen? You said your routine was messed up, how did that lead to you forgetting?”
“It's a long story.” You sighed, but Alexia doesn't care.
“I have a free evening.” She said simply. This woman.
“Well… every training session so far, Ingrid has met me in the morning at my apartment beforehand so we can travel in together. She normally checks in with me, asks how I'm feeling and if I've eaten and whatnot. But she was ill, which I obviously don't blame her for, by the way. So not having her with me these past two days has terrified me quite a bit. She's basically the thing that holds my whole morning routine together. I guess, because she wasn't there, everything just flew out the window.” You explained, but things still weren't quite adding up in Alexia’s mind.
“So how does that relate to you forgetting to eat? Do you not get hungry?”
“Not like normal people do. One of the things with autism is that… we're not really in tune with our bodies? Like, I don't often get hungry or thirsty, I have to force myself to remember to eat and drink. And when I don't, I only realise I haven't done either of the two when I start feeling ill, like today. But food and drink feel like a chore, which is another reason I forget too. It's different when it comes to football though, being an athlete has taught me to be in tune with my body in terms of injuries, but not for anything else. It's weird.” 
“Wow, I never knew that before. That's interesting.” She commented. She's got a lot to learn.
“I prefer… inconvenient.” You said with a shy smile, glad to hear Alexia chuckle at that.
Unexpectedly, for quite some time after that, the pair of you just… talked. A lot. Like, for an hour. About everything - from what pastries Ingrid baked you, to a few more facts about yourself and your ASD, and everything in between. 
It's unnervingly natural. Fun too, but also a little odd. Is she doing it out of pity, or..?
“I almost forgot the other reason I called you.” She said out of nowhere, the smile on her face audible once again. “We have our pre-season dinner this Friday, the whole team is going. You should come.”
A dinner? At a restaurant? Oh god.
“Oh, I… it sounds good, but I don’t know, I-”
“Hey, why not?” She questioned gently.
“Just, they’re not really my scene.”
In a split second, Alexia attempted to think back on all she knew about anxiety to combine it with the very little information she knew about autism, hoping the two overlapped somewhat. Luckily for her, they do.
“The club rents out the restaurant so it’ll just be the team and a few senior staff members. It shouldn’t be too loud. It’s more like a celebratory dinner before the season starts, so there's no partying or anything like that at all. I really hope you come, but I understand if not. There’s no pressure.”
Damn you, Alexia.
“Okay. Okay, I'll go.”
Normal order resumed for the rest of the week; Ingrid recovered from her short 48-hour bug and returned to training like she hadn't even had a day off. Her being back also meant your mind was a hell of a lot more at ease, even if Alexia had offered to see you every morning. 
There was one other thing you were blessed with: obliviousness. Because, during the car ride to training the day after your phone call with the captain, the smirk that Mapi greeted you with in the rearview mirror after you tell her what happened once she headed home, is definitely not confusing at all. Definitely not.
That smirk made a comeback far sooner than you'd like. 
“Say that again?” Mapi asked with a squint to her eyes, forcing down the laughter she so desperately wants to let out.
“Alexia is driving me to the team dinner.” You repeated the sentence you'd just said for her, looking to Ingrid for help. “Ingrid, tell her to behave please.”
“María, come on. Alexia is just doing her a favour, you know she's not a fan of driving.” Ingrid said whilst nudging her girlfriend, though secretly she's hiding some intense excitement levels under her very good poker-face.
“Exactly! Screw you, Mapi.” You sighed dramatically, turning back to the mirror as you put your earrings in.
“So you're sure you don't need us to drive you there?” Mapi asked suspiciously, and there was that stupid smirk again. 
“Ugh, yes! I am making friends, you should be happy!” You groaned, fixing the shorter defender with a dagger-like glare in the reflection.
“More than fr-”
“Okay! Are you ready, snuppa? When is Alexia coming?” Ingrid interjected, discreetly stomping on her girlfriend's foot.
“She's on her way, she'll be here any minute now.” You answered after checking your phone. “You know, I can't rely on you guys forever like you're my parents or something. I love you, but I don't love you that much. And I'm sure you feel the same.”
“No!” Ingrid cried out in a way that's entirely too theatrical. She came over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I do love you that much, it's María you need to worry about.”
“I do worry about her sometimes. You should too, Ingrid.” You murmured, Ingrid humming in agreement as you watched her Spanish counterpart… busy herself in your fridge?
“María, out of there! We are literally going for dinner right now!”
“Ingrid, princesa, you need to work on your English- we're not at dinner ‘right now’, that is why I am in the fridge.” 
“Guys! Alexia is here, let's go. I'll see you at the restaurant.” You kissed Ingrid’s cheek and flicked Mapi’s forehead as you ushered them out the door, locking it behind you and making your way down to the ground floor.
Alexia was there, waiting for you whilst leaning against her car, and a smile tugged at her lips the second she saw you. You heard some commotion behind you, most likely Mapi being scolded by Ingrid, but you shut it out as you headed over to the midfielder, fighting back a ridiculously cheesy grin.
She greeted you the same way she did on the first day she met you - enveloping you in a warm hug that really shouldn’t be as comforting as it was. Not a big deal. Regardless, you both clambered into the car and made your way to the restaurant.
Thankfully, the evening went surprisingly well. It was a very low-key evening, just like Alexia said. In fact, you might even go as far as to say you enjoyed it, that’s a welcome revelation. And it seems you weren’t the only one that had discovered something new.
“Can I ask you something?” Alexia said on the drive back to your apartment.
“Sounds like there’s no stopping you.” You replied, smiling when she teasingly rolled her eyes.
“At dinner, when Patri asked why you don’t drink, you said ‘long story short, I don’t like it’ so I was just wondering what you meant by that?” Alexia asked, before almost immediately regretting it. “I mean, you don’t have to answer, it’s your business, but… if there’s anything we should be mindful about, then let me know.”
Who needed alcohol when you had a tendency to lose your inhibitions whenever you got too exhausted?
“No, not really any problems. I don’t have any issues with people drinking around me, I just have a bit of a history with it but it’s nothing big. It’s fine.” You shrugged, trying to keep your eyes open as the streets of Barcelona passed by your window. 
“What… what happened?” Alexia pressed gently.
“Well, when I was about seventeen, I started going through a really hard time. I had just dropped out of school, I’d had some trouble with friends, I was basically struggling quite badly. I started partying and drinking a lot, way more than I should have. Then I began to rely on it too much, just to get me through really basic stuff. It made me feel normal, it got rid of the voice in my head and it made me feel like a functioning person of society because it was what everybody else did. One day I decided it was best that I don’t drink at all, and it’s easier to tell people I don’t like it but actually I’m just scared of drinking because of all it reminds me of. So, I avoid it.” You explained, rather nonchalantly. 
The mental exhaustion was hitting hard that night, it was evident in the way you spoke. There was one explanation; dissociation. Dinners were not your favourite things in the world, they were a challenge to get through even when you were in the best company. Small talk, food, the sound of people eating, the scrapes of cutlery against ceramic, and the attention on some occasions being entirely on you? Yeah, a big no go. Which is why you were so tired, so distant, because your mind was in protection mode to keep you running until you got home.
Talking about your past was difficult, you’d come a long way and it felt counter-intuitive to talk about the bad times when you’d worked so hard to come to a good place. Yet, here you were, baring your soul about a topic you normally kept to yourself. You don’t even feel at least a little bit anxious at the fact you’d just spilled that secret. Alexia takes all the concern you normally feel and keeps it for herself.
“I’m sorry you went through that, cariño. Thank you for telling me.” She smiled sadly over at you, an ache growing in her heart at your defeated demeanour where you sit in her passenger seat. “Are you feeling okay? You don’t seem like yourself.”
“Tired. So tired.” You sighed. Even just talking felt like a chore in that moment. “Wanna get home, s’all.”
“Okay, we’re almost there now.” She said, “I’m proud of you for coming today. I know you weren’t a fan of the idea initially but you came, and everybody was so glad that you did. I am really proud of you, and so are Ingrid and Mapi too.”
The woman to your left surprised you everyday with each act of kindness she was showing. She hardly knew you, she hardly knew of your struggles, but she was adamant to learn and show just how deeply she cared. You were beyond grateful for her and all she’d said and done, even if you couldn’t verbalise that just yet.
All you could do was offer a simple nod, almost entirely mute as a result of how utterly overstimulating the day had been. You had loved it, sure, but sometimes when days like today left you in such a dejected state that you could hardly talk, there were still times if you wondered if fighting for a somewhat normal life was worth it. 
From then on, the rest of the drive home was silent. Alexia dropped you off, made sure you knew to contact her or Ingrid or whoever you felt comfortable speaking to should you need them, and that was that. You got inside, were barely able to get yourself changed, before passing out as soon as you got into bed.
A few weeks went by and it was more of the same. After that dinner, the team really clamped down and focused on getting everybody ready for the start of the new season. Training at Barcelona was different to anything you’d ever experienced before; it was intense, but light-hearted. There was competition, but it was healthy, everybody egged each other on even if they wanted to win. Ingrid was right, you had never found training this enjoyable before. You had to put that down to the people though, if it wasn’t for them then you’d never feel as comfortable as you do now. 
There were blips, there were still obstacles, but apart from that time you fell ill after training , there hadn’t really been any meltdown-inducing moments. Just a lot of burn-out and exhaustion, but you were near enough a pro at dealing with that now. 
The environment was… perfect for you. And one factor of that outcome is definitely down to the help of the famous three you had near enough attached yourself to since your arrival.
But the main factor to how well you had settled in was down to you. At some point along the way, not that the exact date mattered or anything (at exactly 12:02 on Monday the 26th of August), you hit a milestone that you had never managed to reach before. 
It was unplanned, but once the initial shock had worn off and the anxiety left, you teared up in the arms of Ingrid at the pride you felt towards yourself. Then Mapi joined in with the hug, and so did Alexia, then… so did the whole team too. 
For the first time, you were honest with your team. For the first time, you told them that you had autism. And for the first time, you weren’t suffocated by that prospect. When they all came together to hug you, it wasn’t just a physical embrace, it was them fully accepting you even with this burden you held and championed every day of your life. Though, with the support of others, it was hard to think of it as a burden. The gravity of a secret this big had weighed you down for years, but… now, your chest had never felt so light.
They supported you when you arrived, but the extremes this Spanish team took didn’t quite register until the week before the first game of the Liga F season. Fortunately for you, the first game of the season was at your new home of football, the Estadi Johan Cruyff. So, to help settle the rising nerves you were feeling as game day got closer, the club had organised a training session for you at the stadium a few days before. The more familiar you were with your surroundings, the less you had to worry about on the day. And, as everybody knew, the only thing you needed to worry about for your debut would be how well you did on the pitch.
What you didn’t know though, was that every member of your team was waiting in the stands for you to walk out. And the second the sound of boots hitting the floor echoed from the tunnel through the empty stadium, Mapi was up on her feet to cheer and encouraged her teammates to do the same. The only person that hesitated was Ingrid, but when she saw the look on your face as your te- your friends outwardly rallied behind you so openly and so freely, she became the loudest one of them all. That was the perfect way to prepare for game day, you really couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to work with everyday.
Were you jittery and wracked with nerves as you waited on the sidelines to be substituted in at the 70 minute mark? Yes, but the second you took your first step on the grass with the crowd’s applause as your welcome, you fixated on the game and everything else was just background noise. 
From a young age, before you had even heard of the word autism, football had very obviously been your special interest, otherwise known as the one random topic out of everything in the world to take over your life. 
You would spend hours in your backyard, kicking a ball against the side of your house, driving your family crazy. The walls of your bedroom were covered, corner to corner, in posters ranging from your favourite players, to clubs from all over the world. Christmases and birthdays as a kid were, to you, all about what from your presents you could add to your collection. Kits, boots, scarves, match-day programmes, magazines, even trading cards. Back at your childhood home in Norway, all these things were stored away in the attic, still items you cherished. 
As you got older and life got a bit more difficult, football became your escape. School was exhausting, people were exhausting, but football was something you could do on your own. No one bothering you, no one expecting anything from you, it was a time you could forget the world and all its misdemeanours, and just relax. And honestly, that’s all you planned for it to be. It was hard to imagine it being anything else than just a hobby.
All it took was one game to change the whole trajectory of your life. A game of girls against boys at your school at the age of only eleven, and the next day your sports teacher had gotten you a trial at the local academy. You passed it with flying colours, and flourished in the sport from there.
…Until one random day when you were fourteen, your mother sat you down for a conversation you never could have expected. But once you'd had time to dwell on her words, everything made sense. 
You had autism spectrum disorder. 
It wasn’t made official until the assessment process was over and you received your diagnosis, but that was the day it felt like your life had been irreversibly changed. Your view of the world changed with one conversation, and it was as if everything you thought you knew was wiped completely. Like you had been thrown into the ocean with no one and nothing around to help. 
All the tantrums, the bad behaviour at home compared to being a model student at school, the fussy eating habits, and the endless list of out-of-the-norm habits you had - it added up to this one, new label. The tantrums became meltdowns, the reasoning behind your behavioural differences were from spending the whole day surrounded by people and masking to fit in which led to you being so overwhelmed and overstimulated, your mind went into overdrive and didn’t know what to do. The fussy eating turned out to be sensory issues, with the textures and tastes of certain foods making you physically ill.
There was so much to learn that some days it felt like too big a challenge to tackle. Then there would be the days where you were up all night, the light of your family laptop kept hidden under the blanket you draped over yourself, as you researched this life-changing disorder until the sun rose.
It’s funny, really, how quickly your life can change with just three words.
For years, you had been defeated by it, succumbing to the assumptions that you could never amount to anything more than the label forced upon you, but look at you now. Providing a world class through ball to the most recent Ballon D’Or recipient to tie off a 3-0 win in the first game of the season.
You had learnt at some point in the last twelve years that the only choice you had was to live with it. Make the most of it. This was your one life, you had to make it work. You were adamant to thrive for the others that couldn’t, for the 1 in 13 women that didn’t believe they were strong enough to fight back, and to prove to the world that this disorder didn't hold you back.
They wouldn’t know that your mind could be your own worst enemy, or the self-deprecating thoughts you could have whilst your face gave away no hints, or that sometimes you didn’t believe in yourself and the anxiety was so intense that you could be stuck in bed for days, even weeks, at a time. All they saw right now was your team, FC Barcelona, rushing over to celebrate you rather than the goal scorer because they knew what it meant to you. The world would only ever see your victories, because they had no business to strike you when you were already down. You were strong, you were worth it, and most importantly, you had done it. You’d made it to the exact point you dreamed of. That’s all that mattered.
Unfortunately, it only takes one bad thing to set you down an unwanted path.
Part 2
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cosmicplexus · 5 months
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Random Astrology Observations
🌻I wasn't feeling lazy today so this is a bit longer than the usual observation posts🌻
🦋And finally the pricing catalogue is here...at the end of the observations 🦋
Thank you so much my sunflowers🌻your support has been everything. I try my best to respond to your messages and requests. If you haven't received a response, I'm coming 🤍✨
And I tried my best to be reasonable with the prices. Also, I'm not yet doing full chart readings as I am a student with two majors and I'm already struggling with balancing things. In time I will do them. Free one question culture requests are still open, but please don't request for things you see on the pricing catalogue like a big three reading...
I don't want to bore you all too much so here we go🧚🏾‍♀️🦋🌻✨
Astrology Notes...
~4th house Gemini makes for someone who develops family-like bonds in friendships.
~taurus risings tend to be possessive due to the influence of their scorpio 7th house.
~pluto at angular houses 1st, 7th, 4th and 10th is a huge indicator of someone who has had intense experiences in the respective key areas of life and there's spiritual lessons to be learnt regarding that area through transformation.
~libra venus placements may find it really hard to stay single
~7° and 19° venus or moon signs may struggle with the theme of physical perfection and wanting to attain it.
~virgo moons have a tendency of creating problems if they don't have any current ones to solve
~capricorn risings really do look older in their younger days and younger when they're older.
~moon and neptune in 1st house natives may give off the perception that they need saving and may attract people with a martyrdom complex.
~sagittarius, 9th house, 9° and 21° mercuries may have an affinity to music in foreign languages while cancer, 4th house, 4°,16°,28° may enjoy music in their mother tongue
~jupiter in 2nd house and 10th house is heavy lotto winner vibes. Literally and figuratively.
~mercury in 2nd house and at Taurean degrees(2°,14° and 26°) are the born singers
~the 22nd degree is an underrated fame degree...I have a bey's🐝 fame analysis I've been sitting on for a while. That's a conversation for another day.
~pisces venus and mars are the most romantic people in the world which makes me kind of believe the astrology theory of neptune being the higher frequency of venus.
~leo moons really take their hair seriously and may feel out of loop if their hair is not well done.
~want to easily impress a cancer mars man??? Sing praises to your mom. Be dotting around kids.
~girls with 9th house, 9° and 21° Venus are so magically beautiful. Abundance of beauty.
~To a decent degree, liberation of women in society came at the expense of gemini, sagittarius and aquarius venus women being slut-shamed(This is not at all saying other women did not contribute to the liberation of women 🌻✨ That's a conversation for another day)
~neptune plays a huge role in beauty trends and that's why neptune dominant women are usually the beauty influencers which explains why beauty standards are mutable and ever changing.
~jupiter in 7th house can go two ways... extreme luck in meaningful relationships or someone who never has serious relationships and is forever on the look...
~pisces/12th house mercuries and mercury afflicted by neptune are often under fire for being the liars when the real culprit is the sagittarius/9th house mercuries and mercury-jupiter hard aspects.
~I personally view the north node as a jupiter variant. While the general consensus is that it is the purpose we're working for, I do believe that it's also an indicator of our birthrights, innate gifts and where we're lucky.
~Cosmic Plexus🌻🤍
§~PRICE CATALOGUE~§ ~PAID READINGS COMMENCE ON THE 16th of May 2024 🦋DETAILED BIG THREE READING ~ $6.00
🦋5 IN-DEPTH SYNASTRY QUESTIONS READING ~ $9.00 🦋OVERALL SYNASTRY ADVICE ~ $3.00
🦋SPIRITUALITY AND PURPOSE FOCUSED READING ~ $6.00 🦋CAREER ADVICE ~ $3.00 🦋 RELATIONSHIP REMEDY TIPs $3.00
Let me know your thoughts...
~Cosmic Plexus🤍✨🌻🦋©️
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littletism · 4 months
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what my life is like as a permaregressor, and common misconceptions!
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cw: long post!
being a permaregressor i think is sometimes viewed as a want by a lot of people in the community. i see many posts of people saying they wish they were permaregressors, how awesome life would be to be one, etc.
and that's fine! im not here to tell you i hate my life as a permaregressor, far from it. but it's definitely not all sunshine and rainbows, at all.
for those who don't know, i am a teen permaregressor. bodily i am 20 years old, but i am permanently regressed to about 13-16. this means i never really leave this headspace. i never grew up.
so, what's it like? not really all that different from the life of any other adult, really. i'd say the big major differences are that i don't feel like i relate to any other adults around me, and i have a more childlike/naive view on a lot of things than other people my age. i'd say it pretty heavily affects my stress levels though. i am also wildly more immature than people my age.
do i have the ability to act my age? absolutely. masking is a thing permaregressors are more than capable of doing. i have to mask in order to get through life, especially as someone who works full time to provide for myself and help out my family with bills and such.
it's really hard being a permaregressor in the real world, though. i have a pretty busy life outside of tumblr, i work, i take care of my pets, i see my family often, i go out with friends often, i do the grocery shopping for the house by myself a lot of the time, etc! its really quite stressful to do all of these big adult tasks when you feel smaller than everyone around you.
one big problem i see permaregressors who are bodily adults face, is the constant Infantilization we receive, often from other regressors. because we never fully leave our headspaces, we're told we can't do adult things because we can't consent (ex; to things like alcohol or drugs or other adult stuff). this is horrendously untrue, and many of us do not want to be treated like we're actual children. many of us WANT to lead normal adult lives. of course i want to be treated like im little when im regressed to a toddler or a kiddo, of course i wouldn't want to do adult stuff in THOSE headspaces, because they aren't permanent! i'm stuck like this for the rest of my life, and i shouldn't let it define me or force me to be a certain way. im bodily an adult and therefore i expect to be treated like one when in my permaregressed headspace.
i truly do believe this community should be a bit more educated on permaregression. i think people definitely look at it with rose-colored glasses. i also hope no one, especially other permaregressors, found this post to be too pessimistic! i love being a permaregressor, and i think everyone who is one should be allowed to love being one as well.
xoxo
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ririblogsss · 5 months
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Damian and the strays
ok look we all know the de aged dani (Danny and Dan). But what if we have siblings/ triplets, and I mean what if we take them all the same age (15/16) and make them into the most powerful trio in school . I mean you have 3 good looking individuals all siblings and in the same way, they all excel in different things (Dan-world history, Dani/Ellie- science Sports, Danny physics), but they are all so easy going and charming plus they are all jacked af.
Like tell me if i'm wrong but they would be beloved maybe popular on the downlow until they do something only fentons would risk doing. For example, orchestrating that every monday at 12:30 am the fire alarms would start and lunch would be extended for an hour more. No one can prove it, but none of them have doubts either. The triplets have their own groups but they mainly hang out with each other if you see one the other 2 are close by. 
Anyways i'm thinking that one day they will actually see why the Fenton siblings are observed closely by the teacher and try to make sure they don't cause mayhem.  One guy, a chad of sorts, decided he wanted to pick a fight with Dante, the more violent of the siblings. Chad didn't even finish his first insult before he was slammed through the door by Danny, who was arguably the pacifist of the 3. But the student body kind of got it. The thing is no one expected Dani (preferred name Ellie) to freaking pummel the guy.
No one saw them at school again. 
It went on like this: the trio would move to one school.Would play pranks on the administration and have fun. Then someone would try something on one of them and the other 2 would pummel the person into the ground. The next day they would be gone never to return. They became an urban legend in some of the schools. 
Until they came to Gotham Academy when they tried their pranks a kid would come and stop them. It was getting on their nerves. All their freaking plans down the drain all because of a snobby brat that didn't know how to mind his own.  Eventually they start pranking the kid instead of the school as a revenge for ruining their fun. This leads to an all out prank war between all 4 of them (Dan backstabbed Danny and Ellie first they just followed the lead). 
Soon enough the 3 of them became friends with Damian (they learned his name 4 weeks after the prank war started). The school body was half convinced that Damian and the triplets were actually long lost siblings. I mean they all have black hair, anger issues and green bluish eyes. Damian knew for a fact that he wasn't related to the Fentons; a DNA test concluded this. But that didn't mean that Damian didn't perceive the triplets as family. 
Damian concludes that even if they aren't adopted into the family the Fentons belong. So that's why one day Damian brings Ellie, Danny and Dante to the family reunion. Where every relative and not so relative is there. Damian is showing them around, pointing at things around the house as a mini tour, and people are starting to notice that there are 3 new faces that they have never seen before. 
there are whispers like: ‘really?! AGAIN?!?’ or “WOW im gone for 5 days and he got 3 more”  and even  ‘Damn so black hair, teen and probably sad backstory is the type’
The triplets looked at eachother looked at Damian and smiled like starved piranhas that have just been served a pound of meat and are ready to devore. Damian reflects it with his own devilish smile.
 So all four of them start saying things out of context such as: 
“I'm so glad to be here now” 
“Yeah same we wouldn't have survived that hell of a chamber without you Dames”
“As long as we're no longer hunted for merely existing I don't mind staying for a while”
“Good things there weren't any actual bazookas that could have gone worse”
All four knew that out of context it seemed like the 3 siblings had been hunted and captured by some unknown person and Damian had rescued them and brought them home, but in reality they were just talking about the past paintball match they had earlier that morning. 
So Bruce wanted to know some more but the rhetorical bullet, and asked “Damian… who, who are these kids” Damian proceeded to scoff and say “Why our new family members, truly father, are you incompetent. This is a family reunion hence only family or perceived family is invited” Damian tried to channel his inner 10 year old self whilst trying not to laugh. Danny and Ellie were on the same boat except they made their faces look devastated with tears in their eyes and everything looked pitiful, but on the inside they were laughing their asses off. Dante feigned indifference but he had teary eyes, from trying to stop himself from hitting the floor laughing at the devastated faces around. 
Danny played his act up clearing his throat “we- we can leave if I mean we didn't know, yeah Dami said it was fine but we understand” he purposely made his voice crack to show how ‘hurt’ he was. 
Ellie made herself look small so she could seem self conscious and uncomfortable with the situation. 
Dante solidified them with the small sniffles he let out every few seconds. 
Damian was looking to the ground to avoid being read, because right now he was shaking from laughter, and it would be clear in his face but if he angled himself right (which he did) it looked like he was silently sobbing. Danny put his arm around his shoulder, also looking towards the ground, also shaking from laughter. Dante and Ellie joined in. From an outside perspective it looked like they were extremely upset not being able to be family. 
Bruce panicked seeing his younger child and 3 other kids the same age all begin to cry he just blurted out “NO no that not what i meant Damian I ment their names what are their names, and does Babs have to get involved so we can have documentation”
Damian cleared his tears and looked up at his father trying not to smirk “He is Dante, that one is Dani with an I but she prefers Ellie and that lanky one is Danny” Bruce nodded and went out the room to see if he could get started on the documents. 
Once Bruce was out of the room all 4 of them burst out laughing, falling into a pile some were heard wheezing, others having maniacal laughter. 
Once they finally stopped and looked at the rest of the family all four of them eerily said “he won't ever believe you” And everyone in the room shuddered. This quartet was going to bring wayyyy too much mischief into the family. 
(if you're wondering where jazz is. She's in college living her best life. I mean she is a highly independent person she thrives of off living alone with a clear schedule set)
Also i didn't put any specific names for the previous schools or the family members bc I thought it would be better for u guys to decide who witnessed the beginning of the end. 
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silverwhittlingknife · 4 months
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So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!
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No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)
25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim
This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!
OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:
WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3
Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)
I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!
Below the cut:
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)
On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)
Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)
I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)
I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)
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1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)
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2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)
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3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)
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4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)
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5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)
On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)
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6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)
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7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)
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8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)
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9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)
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10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)
Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)
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11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)
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12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)
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13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)
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14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)
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15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)
I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)
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16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have.  If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)
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17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)
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17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)
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18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)
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19) In my head he’s the responsible one.  (Gotham Knights 10)
I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)
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20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)
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21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)
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22) I trust him.  When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)
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23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)
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24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)
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25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)
Final rambling thoughts:
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TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.
SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.
And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf
All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.
But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!
Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.
And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --
-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3
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#i enjoyed thinking about this so much i wrote a novel with All My Thoughts sorry sdfsdfs#tim drake#dick grayson#somewhat tangential but as i was writing this i was thinking about zahri's post#about how different types of stories offer different kinds of emotional payoffs#and i think for me for dick and tim the main two payoffs are:#1) someone who sees & understands your grief for deaths that will never get fixed or get better#and who will face your ghosts with you EVEN WHEN you're also mad at each other#2) someone who you look at and you see all the ways that you suck & he's better & you're a loser who's failed him etc etc#but it turns out that you're wrong. that you're good enough. not that none of the failures were real or that they were all in your head#but it turns out that it's okay that you didn't always immediately do or feel the right thing#and it's okay that you weren't perfect. you can fuck up six thousand ways & everything you did right will still matter#not because of making excuses or allowances or somebody pityingly trying to make you feel better#but because in the end the things you did right are just Genuinely More Valuable than anything you did wrong#all the times you tried & everything that you tried to give - everything you think wasn't good enough - it was.#IN OTHER WORDS they are both convinced they're not good enough & they are both wrong <3#anyway dick and tim are both INCREDIBLY SIMILAR and also CONSTANTLY misreading each other and i love that for them#and like. they will sometimes totally misread each other & then never figure out the part that they misunderstood#but then they manage to keep going anyway. we love each other on purpose <333#ask tag#dick&tim
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beemo-clippin · 5 days
Text
Presentiiinngg *drumrolls* Favorite Etho + Bdubs moments of HC10! (Video length: 3:36 min)
There will most definitely be a part two at some point, so I would love to hear any of your favorite moments which I may include there ^-^
Video credit in order of appearance: Bdubs Ep.8 (23:20); Etho Ep. 2 (17:33); Bdubs Ep.6 (7:23); Bdubs Ep.2 (16:00); Etho Ep.3 (6:50); Bdubs Ep.7 (0:56); (1:53); Bdubs Ep.14 (27:19); Bdubs Ep.2 (15:23); Etho Ep.1 (7:17); Bdubs Ep.9 (2:41); Bdubs Ep.2 (16:13); Etho Ep.1 (8:41); Bdubs Ep.2 (16:58).
Bc of the length, the video description for this one is available by request, so please lmk if you would like one!!
Transcription is below cut:
*intro music*
--- 0:05 ---
[Etho] I don't know if you know RBG values but like more like a hundred green
[Bdubs] I don't know if you know HSL
[Etho] *laughs* [Bdubs] but- *laughs*
[Etho] Hue, saturation, luminescence?
[Bdubs] That would be- yeah! Yeah. So that would be a 50L
[Bdubs] "I don't know if you know RGB"
[Etho] *laughs* [Bdubs] *giggles*
[Etho] Well apparently you go HSL not- not RGB, uh huh
[Bdubs] Yeah, HSL's the, uh… that's the, uh, primary
[Etho] The artist standard, you know, yeah
[Bdubs] Yes. This is beautiful
[Etho] Someone that truly understands art
[Bdubs] That's right [Etho] Mhm
--- 0:34 ---
*mischevious music*
[Bdubs] Hullo?
[Etho] Bdubs?
[Bdubs] Woah! *laughs* You're in- you're inside?!
[Etho] Ah I was waiting for you, I decided I would just walk in, you know
[Bdubs] That's so rude, you brought the horse in?
[Etho] Does- does he not belong in here?
[Bdubs] The horse has never been in this house
[Etho] I saw the haybales in here, I thought it was like a-
[Bdubs] No, that's a carpet
[Etho] *chuckles*
[Bdubs] Out! Out. Out
[Etho] Not horse food?
[Bdubs] No. [Etho] Okay, okay
[Bdubs] No, stop it see! Look what happened
--- 1:07 ---
*gentle piano*
[Bdubs] I love this area
[Etho] You got the pink tree
[Bdubs] Yeah
--- 1:11 ---
[Bdubs] This might be pushing it for you, a little bit. I don't want to push you too hard
[Etho] Mhm. You thinking about texturing the floor?
[Bdubs] *laughs*
[Etho] But I can texture too like, I know how to texture
[Bdubs] Yeah yeah yeah! Oh I know you can. I- I know. I know that too much is uncomfortable
[Etho] Mhm
[Bdubs] Right?
[Etho] I- I don't know what it is
[Etho] Like I like it when you do it
[Bdubs] Sure, yeah. But it can be too much.
[Bdubs] Yeah. It's more for advanced H- *laughs* HSL type people
[Etho] *laughs*
--- 1:44 ---
*chill music*
[Bdubs] That roof, It's less than a forty-five degree angle. It's like a-
[Etho] It's flatter right?
--- 1:51 ---
[Bdubs] I'm soo… puffed up as a builder. Okay
[Etho] Mhm
[Bdubs] that you can say anything and it won't hurt me. I can take it
[Etho] I feel like you need, like, some… semi-rooves lower down like, like at the four-five block height… kinda thing. You know what I mean? Like those little overhangs to something underneath
[Bdubs] I thought I could take it and I can't
[Etho] *laughs* Oh no, I crushed him
[Bdubs] *laughs*
--- 2:21 ---
*inspired piano music*
[Etho] Look at that build
[Bdubs] Come on now
--- 2:25 ---
*gentle piano and distant chatter*
--- 2:31 ---
[Bdubs] Jevin, Ethan, I'm coming. er, Etho. Ethan? Ethan
[Etho] Ethan? [Jevin] Ethan!
[Etho] Ethan hunt! [Jevin] Ethan I'm coming!
--- 2:36 ---
*silly music*
[Etho] Okay connected. *laughs* What??
[Bdubs] Oh noo!!
[Etho] *laughs* I have never seen anything like that before
[Bdubs] It's worse!
[Etho] *laughing* How is that possible?
--- 2:49 ---
*wither shriek*
[Bdubs] Wait! You hear that?
[Etho] Is that cub? Oh I think Cub's after you
[Bdubs] It could be Hypno *wither shriek*
[Etho] Oh my goodness *wither shriek*
[Etho] Oh my goodness, they're coming Bdubs *wither shriek*
[Etho] They're coming!
[Bdubs] It could be Hypno!
*wither shriek*
[Bdubs] Oh it's you!!
[Etho] *laughs*
[Bdubs] Ohhh!
[Etho] *laughs* [Bdubs] *laughs*
--- 3:09 ---
[Etho] Alright, we're gonna go by seniority here. Bdubs
[Bdubs] Yea- hahaha. *whispers* youu. You!! [Jevin] Wow
[Etho] *laughs*Lead the way [Jevin] Woww
[Bdubs] *laughs* [Jevin] *laughs*
[Bdubs] Ohh
[Etho] Was that not respectful? I thought that was a respectful thing to do
[Bdubs] No it's very respectful to your elders. It was very good
[Etho] I don't understand some things about social dynamics, I tell you
[Bdubs] *laughs*
--- 3:31 ---
[Etho] If you're ever bored or- or lonely on the server Bdubs, come hit me up
[Bdubs] Oh yes. Okay. Thank you
<end transcription>
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urfriendlywriter · 2 years
Text
prompts for your characters having a crush:
(no because 9, 16, 20, 21-- I'D KILL FOR IT TO HAPPEN TO ME :') (feel free to usee and tag me when yall writeeee :) )
tries to deny it. tries to undo it.
"yo, you seem to like [name]?" "SHH, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT SO LOUDLY??"
they're having a crush on you and they offer to help you a lot!
"you know I'm always there for you, right? :)"
that 0.001 second of eye contact when they catch you staring at them. WHAT YOU DIDNT NOTICE WAS THEIR SMILE AFTER!!! (which means they've a crush on u too dumb bitc- CHILE ANYWAYSSS)
bumping into each other in the hallways
slightest of physical contact and it sends you reeling into another universe
them being so oblivious and continuing to do all the adorable things they do
OR they know what they're doing because they fell for you first. like leaning over you to hear you better, cupping your face to take a fallen eyelash!!! OR patting your head often :))
hugging and hearing their heart beat rise
thinking they have a contagious laugh
them trying to confess to you but you're so oblivious it hurts!!
"[name], what do you think of us?" "us?" "you and me, us, love."
avoiding them to stop your feelings from growing further
"you've been avoiding me." "someone's got a braincell."
"we're not like how we used to be, [name]." "my bad for catching feelings. don't worry I'll get rid of it-" and they get kissedddd "took you so long to confess, love :)"
craning your neck to see if they're there (bonus points if they're already looking at you)
having a good laugh together!
walking home together and your hands graze e/o's
^ and they slowly take YOUR HAND IN THEIRSSS W RIZZ FR
"he is sick so i spent the night in his.." ".... YOU ARE CRAZY WHAT DID YOU DO?? ARE YOU IN LOVE [NAME]??"
"you have pretty eyes." "oh? oh. i- thank you? °\\°"
feeling tingly around them.
using codenames when talking about them with your friends!
"hey, are you sure your crush on 'pineapple' is one sided?? they look at you with a twinkle in their eyes."
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neil-gaiman · 7 months
Note
Hi Mr Gaiman, I hope your day is going well.
I can't say I'm looking for anything other than the comfort of talking to someone I don't know, and I apologize that for some unknown reason you are the only 'wiser older being' I can think of other than God. I'm 16, and because of forces outside of my control, I don't know if i can continue living normally. My family is loving, I am safe in my home, I currently have it better than most of the people in my country, I am not suicidal, but I'm terribly scared. Every time I watch the news or see my parents/teachers talk to each other, I feel this unexplained sensation that my life is getting shorter and shorter.
Mr. gaiman, I feel like I'll never get to finish high school. I'll never get to visit my grandparents' old house since the town evacuated. My aunt and her family are still up in the north, they send us videos every time they see rockets in the sky, and I debate sending 'goodbye' and 'I love you' one more time just incase. I'm terrified for them, for the people under the rubbles of their homes, for the people in foreign places that still don't know if they'll live, for the kids with no parents, for parents with no kids. I remember being nervous to talk to my friends about what we'll do when we go to the army in a few years, but as long as we keep in touch we're sure we'll be alright. I remember what I wanted to be when I'll grow up, I wanted to move, get an apartment in Porto Fino or go to meet my uncles in Viana, and translate books.
I remember it was the last few days of holiday vacation before it started, I remember it was still warm outside, and I still possessed the privilege to live.
Mr. gaiman, these days I'm learning that while I get to be luckier than most by simply being alive, I will always feel just one alarm sound away from sharing the same fate of my great-grandparents. From a young age I've seen black and white pictures of them, and so many others, and was told: 'they were here, they were alive, and you get to live the dream they died for'. I don't want to die on unfulfilled dreams.
I apologize for making you deal with this, but I want to be remembered by someone from outside who will get to live longer than me, or so I hope.
I'm 16 and a half. My brother just turned 11. I'm about to fail the test I have tomorrow. My tattoo just fully healed - the flowers symbolize undying love. I learned English on my own. I collect records with my dad. I study American history. I love your books. I bake when I feel down. I am alive. I if I die I hope it will be in a bomb shelter.
All I can wish you now is luck, good fortune, and the hope that you and your loved ones survive and that the world heals. I hope your generation helps heal the mess that previous generations have left you in.
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maddy-ferguson · 11 months
Text
i hope i'm not mutuals with anyone who's like 13 (i mean i think i'd know because they're not as slick as they'd like to think they are) because anyone is welcome to follow me it's not like i'm a nsfw blog i've been 6th grade friendly for like forever (and i actually remember making a tweet like this when i was 17 so yk A MINOR and it's funny to me now because if it had been like in english and in 2023 people would have been like umm of course you're 6th grade friendly are you forgetting that you are also literally a minor. which means that you have to wait six more months to find out what sex is. because my followers are/were normal they were just like this is funny and yeah you are) but as i've said before: my general rule is i'm not interested in following anyone younger than my sister and she just turned 18 (in january) so sucks to be a minor ig you will never be my favorite mutual who i love interacting with now... i can make exceptions especially when i'm following someone for fandom things not for omg you're so cool i want to know about you sooo badly and would love to know about your personal life things. but anyway. i don't remember where i was going with this
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mj0702 · 2 months
Text
This one goes out to Monk... please let me know where to file it in the Sidelinelist♥️♥️
“Do I really have to go with you to Sweden?” you whined for the fifth time since dinner started
“Yes Bubs... All of us are going and...” Lucy sighed out
“Mapí isn't” you interrupted her quickly
“And you know there's absolutely ZERO chance that you'll stay here with Mapí for four days...” Ona pointed out sweetly as she got some more fried potatoes on her plate “.. and if you don't want to listen to us you'll listen to Alexia... or Keira”
“That's not fair!” you exclaimed
“Yeah well... you're underage and as your guardian I say you have to come with us... it's just four days anyway...” your sister said flatly
“It's Sweden” you pointed out upset
“Yes... beautiful country” Lucy said before stuffing some meat into her mouth
“It's DECEMBER” you exclaimed getting frustrated that Lucy apparently didn't get your point
“I'm well aware... look Bubs... we just have two games left this year... Rosengård and a home game then we have Christmas break and we'll go back to England for a few days okay” your sister said understanding your frustration but there was nothing she could do about it
“I don't want to go Sweden in December” you whined again Ona snorting quietly “... it's fucking freezing there... it's like... the north pole of Europe”
“Bubs...” Lucy groaned “... there's nothing I can do about it... you can stay in the Hotel if you want to but I won't leave you in Barcelona for four days without someone looking after you”
“Uuuuugh” you groaned loudly throwing up your arms
“Bebita... we'll make sure you stay warm okay” Ona chuckled at your dramatic demeanour
“If you make me run Batlle I make sure you flee the country within four days of being back in Spain” you grumbled standing up angrily
“We aren't done with dinner” your sister said “... sit your ass back down”
“I'm done” you yelled from the hallway stomping towards your room
“Y/n Tough...” Lucy started to yell now getting angry too until she felt Onas hand on her arm calming her down
“I'll talk to her later...” the blonde spaniard said softly “... she's at an age where's no fun to travel with your sister, her girlfriend and her sisters ex... and Alexia”
“I know...” your sister huffed “... but she can't just fuck off whenever she feels like it – I raised her better... Keira raised her better”
“She's 16 Luce...” Ona smiled “... of course she's revolting a bit... you need to keep a cool head and sit it out... she loves you but she's also a teenager”
“Sometimes it's so hard” Lucy sighed before yelling “STOP PLAYING BALL IN YOUR ROOM.... GO OUTSIDE!!!”
“I know... but we're in this together okay” the blonde grabbed her girlfriends hand “... and you have Keira as back-up... and Alexia and the whole Team.... she's very much loved and we all see how amazing you are with her – and it's okay if you need a break Luce... you have more than enough support so you can take that break whenever you need it”
“Hey Luce” you suddenly skitted around the corner interrupting the sweet moment your sister had with her girlfriend “Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy”
“Yes??” Lucy looked at you expectantly
“I found a solution” you said happily
“I'm all ears” your sister looked at you with a blank face
“Jenni” you just said smiling at her hopefully
“Jenni??” Lucy asked confused
“Hermoso” you clarified
“Absolutely NOT” your sister exclaimed looking at you bewildered
“Why???” you asked annoyed
“I'm NOT putting you onto a 15 hour flight where you have at least ONE layover...” Lucy was still more than stunned “... not with you and your anxiety and lack of orientation while I fly into a complete different direction... absolutely not.. no... you can scratch that idea”
“I could take Mapí...” you tried again but the raised eyebrow from your sister told you everything you needed to know so you exclaimed upset “You're SO unfair... ugh... I hate you”
“Bebita” now Ona said in a scolding tone
“What?” you snapped
“Apologize... now” the spaniard said quickly
“You are not my mother” you sneered “... I don't...”
“I may not be your mother but this IS my house – my house my rules... we had this discussion before” Ona interrupted you quickly “You know you can basically do whatever you want but there are boundaries and rules... and even if you don't mean it and it's a heat of the moment thing... I won't accept you telling someone you hate them”
“M sorry Luce...” you grumbled ashamed standing there like a kid who got caught with their hand in a cookie jar “I just...”
“I know Bubs...” Lucy sighed “... I need you there okay... I need to know you're okay... I wouldn't be able to concentrate if you're on a flight to Mexico... I promise if you want you can visit Jenni start of next year okay... we'll find a way... just not... this time”
“Okay..” you said a little sad
“Come here Bubs” your sister said softly opened her arms
“Have to pack” you mumbled and Lucy knew you tried to get away from the situation because you felt guilty about what you said to her
“Can wait for another five minutes... come here” Lucy said softly but a little firmer
You slowly shuffled over and Lucy pulled you down into her lap
“It's all good Bubs...” your sister mumbled against your hair as you curled into her body “.... thank you for apologizing”
“It's the spaniards fault” you mumbled against Lucys shoulder which made your sister chuckle
“She can be quiet...” Lucy started
“... annoying” you provided
“... strict” your sister laughed lowly when her girlfriends head whipped around giving you two a shocked look
“Love you Luce” you mumbled feeling how your whole system relaxed
“Love you too Bubs” Lucy smiled pressing a soft kiss to your hairline
“BUBS!!!” your sister yelled down the hallway “ALEXIA IS HERE!!! GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR!!!!”
“I... where are my Air Pods??” you asked stressed running into the living room for the third time
“In your backpack.. come on” Ona calmly said holding up your shoes
“My tablet” you raced back into your room
“Bebita... I packed all your PED in the backpack... also all your devices are charged...” the spaniard said calmly stopping your running about by grabbing the back of your shirt “... now shoes and let's go”
“I'll freeze to death in just a shirt... I need me jacket... and me hat... Lucy can I wear my City skully... Pleeeeeeeease Lucy” you spoke a million miles an hour and both of the adults know it was your nerves
“Bubs... it has 20 degrees outside... you don't need a jacket and a woolly...” your sister stayed calm hoping it would calm you down too
“In freaking Sweden I will” you exclaimed trying to run off again getting another jacket
“We have everything packed okay... We packed two jacket for you AND Ona talked to the kit department to pack an extra too... we also got some Barca hats for you... different styles... you can choose..” Lucy explained after Ona held you back again “Shoes and off we go”
“Are you sure... I can take me City jacket...” you bit your lip distressed
“105% sure Bubs...” your sister said softly “We have blankets too... AND if you feel like it you can stay in the Hotel in bed”
“Okay...” you mumbled
“Good... now come on... I'm pretty sure Keira already got you that donut she promised you” your sister smiled and gently pushed you out of the door taking half the bags while Ona took the other half
“Lucy I'm bored” you whined lowly leaning over the aisle trying to wake your sister up “Lucy”
“Go to sleep Bubs” your sister mumbled still asleep herself
“But I'm bored” you whispered
“Close your eyes and sleep” Lucy mumbled again and you knew you wouldn't get far so you tried someone else
“Ona.... Ona” you whisper yelled
“Dorm Bebita” the blonde spaniard mumbled just like Lucy being asleep
“Ugh...” you rolled your eyes “... Keira... Keira I'm bored”
“Come here Bitsy...” Keira subconcussionly opened her arms inviting you in to lay down with her – perks of flying first class you guessed
“.... this is boring” you whined as you climbed over Aitanas sleeping frame to lay down with Keira
“Ssssshhhh Bits...” the englishwoman hushed you gently “... relax...”
“But that's so boring...” you whined right next to Keiras ear
“What do you want to do Bits?” Keira sighed knowing you wouldn't settle anytime soon
“I don't know... this sucks” you grumbled
“Can you tell me what you feel right now?” the blonde spoke lowly not to wake any teammates
“It's boring... and my body is all icky” you said not even able to keep your feet still
“I know being stuck on a plane for eight hours plus isn't ideal for you but we can't do anything right now....” Keira sighed – she knew there was a possibility that your need for movement would kick in and it could've turn into a eight hour flight of hell but she hoped the opposite would be the case but since there was no time to power you out before the team headed for the airport she knew the chance of a calm relaxing flight was about zero
“I hate this flight” you grumbled as Keira tried to calm you down by scratching your neck and baby hairs lightly
“I know Bebita...” the englishwoman said softly “... I know.... just relax okay...”
“I can't...” you whined and started to wriggle around kicking Aitana by accident who shot into a sitting position scared out of her mind swearing loudly in spanish waking up half the team by default
“M sorry” you said shyly when half the teams eyes where on you – Lucy kept on snoring of course subconcussionly knowing Keira was there looking after you
“What happened?” Alexia asked blinking a few times
“She kickeded me...” Aitana exclaimed “out of nothing”
“I didn't mean to” you said ashamed starting to fidget with your finger “los silence Tana”
“First... lo siento” Alexia rolled her eyes “... and secondly... what you mean you didn't mean to kick Aitana”
“It's her ADHD....” Keira said trying to stop your fidgeting by gently taking your hands in hers “... being locked in a confined space for hours makes her fidget-y and squirm-y... she just needs to run it out but... plane...”
“Oh...” Alexia looked surprised and confused “... I didn't know she has..”
“ADHD? Yeah... not something she parades around.. nor do we... we got it under control with the medication and regularly exercise and even if she'll never admit it even meditation helps since it gives her something to focus on” the blonde englishwoman said as you squirmed in her arms kicking Aitana a second time
“I'm sorry...” Alexia said a little lost
“What for... she still is the same amazing person.. she's still y/n Bronze...” Keira smiled when you finally settled your attention on Keiras hands more specific her rings
“How can we help?” Alexia asked as she watched you with a fond smile on her face
“Treat her normally....” the blonde englishwoman shrugged her shoulders “Bitsy... you need to get back to your seat... we're going to land soon”
“But Keiraaaaaa” you whined
“I know... we can walk around a little as soon as we are at the hotel okay” Keira spoke softly
“Can I wake Lucy up??” you suddenly perked up
“Don't break her... we have a Champions League game in two days” the blonde said firmly
“I mean... she doesn't need her nose for playing” you grinned
“No Bitsy...” Keira warned you immediately catching on what your plan was “... wake her up like a normal person”
“Aw maaaan...” you whined
“Bubs... come on.. we can kick around a little if you want” Lucy yelled over wearing her warm up kit with gloves scarf and a hat
You didn't even bother to respond just bringing your hand out under the four blankets to flip her off before your hand quickly disappeared under the multiple layers again
“Vamos Cari... it'll warm you up a bit” Alexia jogged passed and your only action was to sink deeper into the seat pulling the blankets up over your nose
“You want a hot water bottle Bits?” Keira now ask crouching down in front of your seat rubbing her hands over your covered knees
“Yeah please” you mumbled out from under your blankets
“What happened to you?? You're english...” your sister teased you stopping next to Keira taking a sip of tea out of her bottle
“I'm Scottish” you grumbled “... not scandinavianish”
“It's not THAT cold Bubs” Lucy rolled her eye a little
“There was snow this morning Lucy... SNOW” you exclaimed just as Keira shoved a hot water bottle between your body and the blankets “Tweedledee and Tweedledumb might have been happy never have seen snow before but you and I know... when there's snow it's FREEZING... literally FREEZING”
“You wanna go back to the hotel? I can ask someone from the staff...” your sister said softly feeling you didn't exaggerate
“No...” you grumbled “... want cuddles”
“Let me get changed and then we cuddle okay?” Lucy pushed your Barca woolly heat over your eyes before disappearing into the tunnel
“Oy Swedish ref... could you please make some sensible decisions!!!!” you yelled as you shot off Lucys lap “... your monarchy makes the right decision so why can't you???”
“Bubs” Lucy said her voice strained as she pulled you back into the seat next to her “... you can't just yell at the ref”
“Oh but I can... especially when she makes stupid decisions” you shrugged your shoulders “OY!! YOU REALLY WANT TO TEST ME PATIENCE EH??!!!!”
“Okay... you said enough...” your sister slapped her hand over your mouth when the ref send you a angry glare
“youknowI'mrightshe'sbloodyshit” you said your voice muffled by Lucys hand
“Plan was actually that I come on second half but I'll talk to Jona that I can't... you're too.... you today” Lucy said but felt how you started to calm down again
“Alexia..” Lucy jogged after her capitan while you chased after Piña laughing loudly
“Sí?” the blonde spaniard stopped at the tunnel entrance
“If Jona still wants to put me on... can you have an eye on Bubs? She's a little... aggressive today” your sister rubbed your neck
“Of course... and I think whole Malmö heard her today...” Alexia chuckled before she looked out on the pitch “... Claudia Piña!! Stop running the Cariño over!! You are a professional!!”
“Ella ho va començar!!!!” Piña yelled back pouting a little
“No m'importa, atura-ho!!!” Alexia yelled and pointed down the hallway “Vamos!”
You laughed loudly when Piña trotted past her capitan quickly her head hung low – your laugh died in your throat when Alexia looked expectantly at you
“tu també!” the capitan nodded her head towards the locker room
“I didn't do anything!!!” you yelled from the kick off point
“VAMOS!” Alexia yelled and pointed towards the tunnel and you quickly trotted towards her
“Are you okay Cari?” Alexia asked for the twenties time 15 minutes into second half
“It's cold...” you whimpered pulling another blanket over the five already covering you
“Oh Cariño...” the blonde sighed “... come here”
“I don't wanna move” you mumbled under your blankets wearing two sweaters and a jacket already
“Here” Alexia said pulling off her own jacket helping you putting it on
“But now you're cold” you said bewildered but Alexia just smiled
“It's okay.... don't want you to get sick” the blonde smiled
“Gracias La Reina” you smirked knowing she hates that nickname
“Carful Princesa... I can make you run laps” Alexia said flatly raising an eyebrow in your direction
She didn't know now – but this jacket would be your most treasured object and many years later you would tell your niece about how the legendary La Reina got a cold just before Christmas because she gave teenage you her Barcelona jacket
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shanastoryteller · 2 months
Note
HAPPY PRIDE!!!
Could you, pretty please, write more of the Draco in the muggle world or Draco and the twins take down Voldemort AU?
Love your writings!
a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37
George watches anxiously as Harry closes his eyes and Tori leans over him. He really, really hopes this works. They don't exactly have a backup plan if it doesn't.
Things are uncomfortably silent. He'd imagined this soul sucking business to be a lot more dramatic, but they can't see much under the large hood of Tori's pink robe and neither of them are making a sound.
Then she's drifting back and Harry's blinking rapidly.
"Did it work?" Ron asks anxiously, stepping forward to grab Harry's shoulders and shaking him. "Are you okay? How was it?"
"Wet," Harry says, eyes finally focusing. "I don't feel any different. Wait - my scar doesn't hurt anymore. Does that mean it worked?"
They turn to Tori, who gives a thumbs up. The dull gray of her skin has turned a shimmering silver now that she's consumed each piece of Voldemort's soul. All the dementors that had come to Hogwarts had sickly grey-black skin where it wasn't scabbed over. He wonders if that means they sent starving dementors to a school full of children and what idiot thought that was a good idea.
"Is it over then?" Fred asks uncertainly. "Voldemort's dead? For good?"
They all look towards Voldemort's soulless body that's still passed out on the couch.
Hermione raises her gun. Two shots and a smattering of brain matter later, she says, "Yeah."
"You seriously couldn't have waited to do that?" Draco complains. At least the polyjuice as worn off and he's wearing his own face again. "That settee is from the seventeen hundreds. It's going to take more than scourgify to get that out."
"Um," Harry says. "Okay. Well - should we. Tell someone?"
Draco waves a hand. "Yeah, sure, just leave me out of it."
"Leave you out of it?" Ron repeats incredulously. "You killed Voldemort and you don't even want the credit?"
"Technically, Tori did that - much obliged, Tori," he says, and she gives a bobbing head nod in acknowledgement. "And it was more of a team effort. Besides, no, I have a reputation to maintain if you've forgotten. I wanted Voldemort to stop hitting on my mother, now he won't, so this really doesn't have anything to do with me now." He frowns. "Besides getting the settee cleaned before dad notices. He'll go spare."
George thinks he might be more upset about the dead dark lord, but who knows with the Malfoys. Draco didn't turn out like this out of nowhere.
"You've been working to defeat Voldemort," Hermione says slowly, "because he was flirting with your mother?"
"Like that wouldn't be enough for you," he scoffs.
Ew.
Ron scrunches his face, then says, "Fair enough. But that still doesn't change how we're supposed to, um, handle this."
Draco rolls his eyes. "I'm taking Tori back to the island. You guys figure that out."
"I'll come with you," George says eagerly, dodging Fred's hand when he tries to hold him back. He waits until it's just three of them to ask, "Do you really not have a plan for this part?"
Draco grins at him, wide enough that George can see the dimple on his left cheek. "Let's see what they come up with. I can't be the only one doing the heavy lifting around here."
"Okay," he says, wondering if now that Voldemort's dead, Draco will kiss him.
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