#you have to have judge's voices first then it goes from being amusing to hilarious

[mikejudge]

i had a dream last night that beavis and butthead was originally a comic (not like the marvel comics like a newspaper comic strip)

and i was reading the comics and gushing about it like omg yall if you miss the show read the comic strips they're still really good they even have the middle aged version it's like reading future eps and then i woke up

[acupofqueercoffee]

“R.”

Lady Lesso x Ever Reader

cw : very light angst // my take on jealous and possessive leo with a little twist // just a sprinkle of spice // age gap // older woman x younger woman

ao3 — https://archiveofourown.org/works/43127551

it’s funny that aside from lady lesso’s scenes and edits, i still haven’t watched the film. it just goes to show how hopeless i am, i think :'))

both the name and the overall feel is inspired by the song K. by Cigarettes after Sex

“M’lady, will you attend tonight’s ball with me?”

Here, you, the final year student at the school for good, are being asked by a first year Prince to go to the ball on his arm. He is charming and all but, to be brutally honest, you are just not interested. You may be physically present in front of him, but mentally, you are anywhere but here, or more precisely, your mind is busy floating about the school for evil in search of one evil dean with hair the hue of deep rosé.

That perpetually kind face of yours has its own perks as well as drawbacks. In this instance, it has brought about an undesired outcome. Perhaps he must have mistaken the beginning of polite rejection on your face as meekness, because you are on the verge of expressing your disinterest when you suddenly find his lips a hair’s breadth away from yours. You swivel your head as soon as you realise, though he still manages to catch you at the corner of your mouth.

Quickly taking a few steps back, and re-establishing a good distance between the two of your bodies, repulsed though you are by his insensitive behaviour, you will the desire to slap him away, instead mustering a professional smile.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to decline your offer. I already have someone I want to go to the ball with.”

With that, you leave, neither waiting nor wanting to see his reaction or hear his response.

Despite your mind being away from your body, your feet successfully, dutifully carry you towards the woman who reigns over your very mind.

Once you arrive at your destination, the woman in question whom you have been painstakingly trying to romance all these years is locked in a gentle waltz with another girl. The more rational part of you reasons that the dean is just coaching her students, but in the end, the green eyed monster outmatches logic.

And when the girl in those elegantly long arms inches closer to your woman than what is deemed appropriate, you decide that you hate this girl. The bubbling jealousy mingled with hatred may or may not have accidentally on purpose trigger a harmless spell from your lips. You watch, secretly amused, as she trips over her feet, falling onto her buttocks in a hilarious display. As evil as it will make you sound, to your relief, the dean makes no moves to prevent her student from falling even though she could very well have.

No sooner has she dismissed the nevers, leaving only the pair of you in the room, than you approach her, a grin on your face, and voice cheery as you ask, “So Lady Lesso, have you decided who you’re going to the ball with?”

You will not go as far as to say that she is fond of you, though you are relatively confident that after all your steadfast efforts, she has grown to fancy you even if only a teeny tiny bit. So, it is like a punch to the gut when you hear her say, “Whether I have decided or not, or whoever I’m attending the ball with is none of your business,-” Her words are laced with venom, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth, and when she forces the next sentence, a scowl on her face, as if it repulses her to even say it out loud, you brace yourself for the worst. “-just as it is certainly not my concern whose tongue you allow to shove down your throat.”

And worst it is indeed.

“I- you-” The revelation that she must have seen you in that scandalous position renders you speechless. On the other hand, the possibility that, contrary to what she says, and judging by her way of wording, she could very well be jealous makes you jubilantly jittery.

A terrible mistake.

She must have interpreted your hesitation to reply as anxiousness for being caught red-handed. Her disappointed little sigh is the only trigger you need to pull yourself together, crying after her as she moves to walk away.

“No, wait! Please.”

Nothing.

Her back glares mockingly back at you.

“Please, Leo.”

That does it. The dean’s signature cane descends onto the floor with a resounding thud.

Her voice is stone cold, as she hisses the cutting retort through gritted teeth.

“You have no right calling me that!”

“I swear it’s nothing of that sort. Whatever you think happened did not happen.”

It earns you no acknowledgements: no retorts, no movements; only silence so loud and thick that it suffocates you.

She is slowly slipping through your fingers, and you feel utterly helpless.

Three years of pining over your sweetheart just for her to simply walk away from you, possibly forever.

Like hell you will allow that!

You have come across a peculiarly interesting topic in the library of virtue the other day.

An oath.

The lover’s demise, so it is labelled.

It should be obvious by the name alone that the oath poses a threat to anyone and everyone who dares use it.

Despite what the name suggests, despite what the instructions read, several instances have been recorded of people willingly exposing themselves to the thing that can very well lead them to their downfall.

The lover’s demise, or known once upon a time as the heart blood oath, is a curse in its essence, which requires for the user to get direct access to their heart by way of sticking a knife, a dagger or whatever is convenient, to their chests, and once done, by chanting a special spell, the user will then be able to prove whatever they wish to prove.

Little good comes from the oath.

According to the records, formerly, the oath is used to prove one’s innocence, most commonly seen in thievery and murder cases. The way it works is that if one’s confession, usually the accused, is false, one’s heart will immediately cease to beat. If it is indeed true, as long as one keeps leading an honest life, true to one’s words, no harms will befall them. However, once one commits a thievery, either unknowingly or deliberately, as opposed to their confession, one’s heart will begin to shrivel, eventually disintegrating.

Evidences further show that at one point in time, the heart blood oath has become a way for lovers to prove their love. Not only will the oath tell whether the feelings are true or not, but the user will also bear the brunt of the curse if their feelings are to waver in the future.

The most important information here is that the feelings of both parties involved are to be taken into consideration. Even when the oath user stays true to their feelings for the rest of their life, if whoever they are confessing their love to, does not reciprocate their feelings, or if their partner eventually falls out of love with them further down the road, the curse will still show its effects. However, only the one, whose person has been directly exposed to the oath, will meet their demise.

Hence, it is deemed the grandest gesture of love, and the name “the lover’s demise” comes to be.

It is said that only those with the bravest of souls and biggest of hearts dare take the oath, but “what lunacy” , you have thought, exasperated. Only the most foolish of fools can find such absurdity an act of bravery.

How ironic it is that right at this moment you are entertaining the idea of using the very thing which, until just a while ago, you have believed to be an extremely nonsensical stupidity.

Somehow, you find it woefully poetic that love holds the ultimate power of reducing even the most pragmatic of people to reckless fools.

Alas, one of those fools is you.

As soon as you extend your arm towards the weapon rack, a dainty dagger flies into your open palm.

The rustling of fabric as you cut open your corset in half attracts the dean’s attention back towards you. The razor sharp tip of a dagger has only just rested betwixt your bosoms when all of a sudden, your hands are pried away, wrists firmly locked in long unyielding fingers.

“Let me go.” Fuelled by stubborn determination, you struggle in her vice-like grip, “Let me go. I’ll prove to you now with whom my heart truly lies.” but the woman in front of you does not so much as budge. Instead, following a loud clatter of the dagger as it slips through your fingers, you are yanked into her arms, restrained against her chest.

“Are you mad?” Her query is glazed with irritation, and a sprinkle of, dare you say it, concerned disbelief.

“If falling in love with you is your version of mad, then yes, in fact, I am absolutely, irrevocably mad.”

Your resolute confession seems to render her speechless. Her brows unravel and she gazes down at you with something akin to hunger in her eyes.

Only then do you register, with burnt cheeks and a maniacally galloping heart, that all your fruitless attempts to struggle free from her hands have left your ruined corset more undone than it is supposed to be, making you more exposed to sultry green eyes than you have realised. The air has suddenly become awfully thick. It does little to help either that your chest, as good as bare, is pressed flush against the dean’s.

“I want to kiss you.” When she murmurs, her breath is warm on your face. You can almost feel the delightful throbs of her heart beating in harmony with your own.

“Kiss me.” Your response to her is as equally soft, breathless. “Kiss me, Leo.” And then, her lips are descending upon yours.

The kiss is both sweet and spicy as is she, both downy and desperate, sucking your lips rosy together with the breath out of your lungs, and leading your tongue in a soul-stirring, spine-tingling waltz. Once a need for air becomes too strong for you, it is with great reluctance that she frees your lips, a glistening string of saliva crumbling as she moves, but bodies remain melting into each other.

“I want you in my arms during tonight’s ball.”

“I do not wish to be anywhere else.”

By the time twilight comes, you are already dressed and ready for the ball.

Lady Lesso has sent you back to your dormitory with her coat atop your shoulders, subsequently dusting your cheeks maroon by remarking that you are for her eyes only. You have decided to incorporate the luxurious midnight piece into your outfit, layering it over your pearly white satin gown, giving it that yin and yang look which you think is only fitting considering that you and the dean are from opposite sides.

The banquet hall is anything but empty when you arrive, and yet, it is lacking the one person that you are most anticipating to see. After an exchange of pleasantries with some of your friends and familiar faces, with the red head whom you dearly adore still nowhere in sight, you excuse yourself to get a breath of fresh air. It is on the balcony, amidst tracing the twinkling little stars, where you are, once again, approached by the prince whose offer you have just declined earlier today.

“Just where is this someone you were speaking of, I wonder.”

“They’re on their way.”

He does not seem entirely convinced at your terse reply, incredulity evident on his features despite his understanding hum.

“If you’d like, and if you’ve changed your mind, my Princess, I am more than happy to accompany you.”

The way he addresses you, albeit not being uncommon amongst royalty, perturbs you, so much so that you intend to blatantly spell it out to this dunce of a Prince that you are absolutely, positively, utterly not interested in him at all, except that someone beats you to it.

There is an almost tangible presence behind your back. You immediately know whose without needing to turn, and you are subsequently proven true when her cadence, like warm whiskey, trickles down the length of your spine.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here? Care to enlighten me what the commotion is all about, hmm?”

“With all due respect Lady Lesso, I don’t think whatever happens between the two of us, evers, is of no concern to you.”

His face that you have once considered objectively charming, now looks very punchable all of a sudden.

“No?”

You can feel that her front is now pressed against your back.

“Oh dear me, I certainly believed that my partner’s safety and well-being was positively my concern.” Arms are suddenly slithering along your waist, fitting you like a well-tailored belt. “You’ve tested my patience enough with that little display of yours in the hallway. I don’t care that you’re not my student, certainly not that you’re an ever. I will personally shepherd you to the doom room and most delightedly demonstrate you just what villainy I am capable of, if you touch so much as a hair on her head again. This Princess, my Princess, right here is strictly off limits.”

She has addressed you exactly the same as the prince has mere moments ago, yet at the same time, it is entirely different somehow. Being called hers has a delightful effect both on and inside your body as the tips of your ears burn, and flowers of various shapes and hues thrive beneath your ribcage.

Meanwhile, the dean, whose arm around you never relents, commands with finality. “Now. back. off.” Instead, you can feel it tightening a touch as she pulls you into her, and following every word, she pokes the ever in front of you with the tip of her trusty cane, intentionally applying more force which leads to the poor thing unceremoniously falling onto his bums.

And as he leaves you two be, you get to behold your woman for the very first time tonight. Unabashedly, you stare, enthralled all over again, at her standing elegantly tall and regal in a dark body hugging gown that fits her like a glove. Not an inch of her body is left unhidden by the fabric, neckline high and sleeves long, and yet, you find it tantalisingly provocative that it is clinging to her body in all the right places.

“I think I like you best when you’re dressed in black.” Your voice is but a breathy whisper, and she lets out a delicious chuckle, a warm sound that pulsates deep within you, for you are still pressed against each other, now chest to chest. “I always dress in black, darling.”

“Indeed, and oh how well you dress it!”

“I think I like you best-” Her hand cradles your jaw in the same manner as her arm cradling your waist. “-when you’re just with me and no one else.”

“My my professor, is this your way of saying you love me?”

“No.” She denies, parks her forehead on yours, “This is my way of saying I love you.” , and then come her lips crashing down onto your lips, kissing you with a ferocity that is certain to leave bruises come morning.

[sunrisefairy]

Chocolate

Pairing: George Weasley x reader

Word count: 1.8k 

Summary: Y/N drunkenly confesses her feelings for George thinking it is actually Fred she’s talking to.

Warning: mentions of alcohol

A/N: I’m having way too much fun writing again, any feedback is always welcomed and if you have any ideas for future one shots let me know :)

Taglist: @hufflepuff5972​ my first little tag list, my heart ❤️ if anyone else wants to be added, just message me

The Gryffindor common room floor feels like it’s about to take flight with the vibrations from the multiple speakers set up around the room. The Gryffindor quidditch team had won the first game of the year against Slytherin so of course celebrations were in order.

You found herself in the middle of the makeshift dance floor with Alicia and Angelina dancing and singing, no screaming to the music. You jump up on the nearby table taking a big swig of some fire whiskey. You start to swing your hips to the music and continue yelling the lyrics to your favourite song which just started playing. You hear a few people below whistling and cheering you on.

“Yeah! Go Y/N! Woo!” You think it was Angelina calling out, acting as your hype woman.

As the song comes to an end you jump off the table feeling like a rock star. As your feet make contact with the floor you stumble. Your legs seem to give way, maybe it was because of the way you landed but it was most likely because of the amount of alcohol running through your system, you fell to the floor.

“Woah Y/N are you okay?” Alicia was immediately by your side helping you up. You couldn’t control the giggles escaping from your mouth.

“M’ fine babe just need ‘nother drink” your words mixing into each other.

Alicia shakes her head at your drunken state, “I think you need to slow down love. C’mon, come sit down while I get you some water” Alicia guides you over to the couches on the corner of the common room, looking for a free one which isn’t occupied by a couple making out, she spots George sitting alone, perfect she thinks, a mischief glint in her eyes.

“Hey, do you mind watching this one for a minute?” Alicia practically pushes you onto the couch and you might as well be sitting on George’s lap with how close you are to him. The redhead just laughs and nods his head at Alicia who disappears back through the crowd.

The thing with being drunk is your vision tends to get blurry which is exactly what had happened to you, your surroundings becoming fuzzy. Fred and George can be tough to tell apart on a good day so add

some alcohol into the mix and some might find it near impossible. You always prided yourself on the ability to tell the 2 twins apart, noticing subtle differences in their appearance and the way they spoke which helped you realise which one was which. Although the butterflies George never failed to give you when he was in the same room as you, helped you in telling who was who. However right now in this moment you were absolutely certain the redhead sitting next to you was Fred, oh how wrong you were.

“Havin’ a good night then little one?” George says, placing an arm around your shoulder in an attempt to steady your swaying body, maybe using that as an excuse to be close to you.

“Oh loads” you yell over the thumping music, “my foot is kinda sore though, actually ya know what might fix that?” George is too entertained by your drunken rambling to answer. “I think some chocolate will help, don’t ya think chocolate just fixes everything, maybe chocolate has somethin’ magical in it. Don’t you think chocolate is just delicious?” you hiccup, George nods amused.

Your eyes widen as you’re reminded of something “Oh Freddie, I think I know why I love chocolate so much” George doesn’t think he heard you right, did you just call him Fred? He goes to correct you, but you keep talking.

“Chocolate tastes so warm and sweet, it reminds me of Georges eyes, his eyes are so warm and sweet to look at” you say almost dreamingly, George shuts his mouth pretty quickly. “George has the prettiest eyes. I mean he’s got the prettiest everything. His face is like, like it was crafted by angels. And he’s so funny, everything he says makes me smile, I like him so much Freddie.”

George thinks he must be dreaming, surely he hadn’t heard you correctly. You feel your eyes growing heavier by the second, resting your head on the redhead’s shoulder.

“Freddie, promise me you won’t tell George, I couldn’t take it if he doesn’t like me back.” You say curling into his side.

George doesn’t know what to say, part of him wants to tell you that he isn’t actually Fred, that he’s George and he does like you back but the other part of him kind of feels embarrassed he didn’t say anything sooner, so he opts for:

“I’m sure he likes you too.” He doesn’t think you heard it though, judging from the light snores coming from your mouth.

At that point Alicia is back in front of them, thanking George for watching you while she was gone, with a little struggle she is walking you back to your dorm.

~~~

The next morning George is sitting with Lee and Fred in the great hall, spilling everything Y/N said last night.

“I knew she liked you!” Lee exclaims, “like she’s always staring at you during class.”

Fred chuckles “maybe she thought she was staring at me.”

George shoves him in the chest, shaking his head. The tall boy is nervous to see you today. He isn’t sure what he is going to say, George knows he needs to tell you that he feels the same way but a part of him is worried you didn’t actually mean what you said. You were very drunk and drunk people tend to say some random stuff. He doesn’t have much time to dwell over it because he spots you and Angelina walking into the great hall. Your hair is a little crazy, obviously quickly been thrown in a bun and you clearly are sporting a killer hangover but he still thinks you look divine.

“Surprised to see you up so early Y/N, you were very intoxicated last night” Lee laughs as you and Angelina sit down.

You groan, rubbing your eyes “I’m surprised too, I feel like a zombie and my ankle hurts.”

Fred laughs loudly after sending a wink Angelina’s way, “that’s probably from when you jumped off the table after your little dance performance. You went tumbling down. It was hilarious” George whacks his twin over the head, eyeing you slightly as you put some toast on your plate.

“Merlin, I don’t remember that or anything from last night to be honest. It’s all so fuzzy” you mumble as you take a large bite of your toast.

George feels his heart drop a little, although last night you hadn’t realised it was actually him you were talking to, he thought it would be easier to confess his feelings if you actually remember last night, now he was too scared.

~~~

Later that day you and Angelina are back in your dorm room laying on your bed with Alicia talking about previous night.

“What even happened last night? The last thing I remember is dancing and that’s it” you laugh as you flick through a magazine.

“So you don’t remember chatting to George on the couch before passing out? You can thank me for that Y/N, I had the brilliant idea of having George look after you while I went to fetch you some water” Alicia grins.

Alicia and Angelina were the only ones who knew of your major crush on the tall sweet redhead. Many times, they have tried to convince you to just tell George how you feel and even try to meddle themselves.

You furrow your eyebrows, trying to remember if you said anything embarrassing to the boy.

“Huh, are you sure it was George? I swear I was chatting to Fred last night” you chuckle remembering some of your conversation.

Alicia shook her head, “nope it was definitely George, I know that for a fact because when I left to get your water, I passed Fred and Angelina making out” Alicia elbows Angelina’s side who is blushing profusely.

You shrug your shoulders, “well me and George then were having a pretty weird conversation about chocolate actually. I thought it would heal my sore ankle” the girls all giggle as you continue, “it was very random we were talking about chocolate and then…” your voice fades into silence as you remember how that conversation went.

Alicia and Angelina are confused as you leap of the bed and start running out the door, “wait what happened?” you hear Angelina yell as you run out of the room.

Your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest, you need to find George. You are beyond embarrassed that you basically confessed your love to George, the whole conversation becoming clearer and clearer in your brain. But you are unsure if you had dreamt the reply Fred, no George had given you as you drifted off to sleep on that couch.

You enter the common room, scanning for a particular redhead who you find sitting on the couch with Fred and Lee. You run up to the group, out of breath.

“Did you mean what you said last night?” you blurt out, feeling very, very nervous.

George break eye contact from whatever he was originally looking at and meets your eyes which are desperately searching for a response “what?” he squeaks out.

Fred and Lee share a look at each other and move from the couch, figuring out that the pair need some privacy although they do continue listening to the conversation from the other end of the common room.

“Last night. On the couch. I told you that I liked you, well, I said I liked George because I thought I was talking to Fred. And then you said ‘I’m sure he likes you too’ so do you? Like me?” you feel like your heart is going to explode and you are well aware of the multiple pairs of eyes staring at yours and Georges exchange which is making you extra scared of the potential rejection.

George nods, not really confident enough to speak right now. What you do next surprises him. If he wasn’t already sitting down, he might have fallen over with the force of you leaping towards him. You wrap your arms around his neck and press your lips to his. George immediately grips your waist and kisses you back. You can hear some people cheering in the background which makes you smile into the kiss.

You pull away slightly breathless, “that’s good then,” George chuckles and you hear Fred from somewhere behind you say rather loudly to Lee.

“Imagine if she kissed the wrong twin.”

“Shut up Fred” You and George say simultaneously.  

[diary-of-an-onliner]

lifelines [g.w.]

hi! first fic, pls be nice!

word count: 2300

warnings: none

After Gryffindor turned the tides at the last second, winning the second most important game of the season after a massive setback in the first hour, the celebrations raged harder than ever. Since Hufflepuff had beaten Slytherin to the ground two days ago, the path towards the Cup was clear. Angelina was sitting on the couch, having passed the point of looking pleased long ago, and now seemed almost frazzled by the result. People came up to her periodically, clapping her shoulder or topping off her drink, directing the buzzing energy of the common room straight into her.

Truly, the atmosphere was phenomenal, the stolen food and drinks from the kitchens juicer and a little more spiked than usual. Or maybe it was the sunlight still streaming through the windows as strongly as ever despite the past gloomy week. Whatever it was that made the day so electrically happy for everyone, it showed no signs of stopping.

This type of unrestrained feeling you always imagined started from the back of your head as s little star-like scribble that cast a net over you and spread the intensity throughout. This week it was stronger than it has been in a while.

You felt electric in the stands as you yelled for your team, an invisible line ripping the words from your throat before you even knew you were saying them. You felt elated as your housemates put their hands around you in delight, screaming themselves sore when they announced the winner. And you were feeling the happiness in your hair now, in every single strand from root to end as it swayed along with the bottle in your hand.

This was happy. This was joyful. This was utterly buttery in your chest and electric in the air.

You idly looked around the red and orange common room, which burned with excitement, deciding how to best spend this time before it runs out on Umbridge's watch and she ruins it.

No. No wasting thoughts on her today. She sucked enough life out of you and your housemates this year, she won't be doing it off the clock too.

Your eyes settled on possibly one of the strongest sources of this warmth - George Weasley, sitting on the arm of the couch next to his brother. The window behind him silhouetted him in gold perfectly, like the sun offered him to you. It accented how attractive he was, even if he burned a little at the top.

You've connected eyes before, talked before, even bantered. One wittier than the other every odd day, you toed the line between acquaintances and friends perfectly. Seeing as he's very popular, catching him in-between conversations was a matter of luck.

You imagined a line going from the center of your chest to his as you approached him. He pensively looked to the side, observing some goings-on on the far end of the room as you interrupted him.

"That was a good game. You got some very nice shots in," you said.

He turned to you with a mild close-mouthed 'hm', a look, and then a grin.

"You sure it was me?" he cocked his eyebrow and look at Fred on the couch next to Angelina, bumping knees with her and accepting congratulations in both of their names.

"You wear different numbers, genius. I know how to count this time."

"And you have my number memorized," he said, his voice glad.

"That would've been a great line if you were a Muggle."

"Pity, I already chose a magical career." he took a sip of his butterbeer and eyed you up, "Maybe I should start using my magical lines on you. Would those work better?" his eyes widened and his tone turned innocent at the end.

"I think I know too much anti-jinxes for that."

He pursed his lips in amusement. "Alright. What would work on you then?"

"Oh, I find responsibility and appropriacy really hot." you shot back, twirling a piece of your happy, charged up hair.

"Contradiction too," he said, "since you're still here."

"I find contradiction a natural state of the human soul, thus if I wasn't contradicting myself, I wouldn't fully be here."

"Hm. Brainy." he chuckled.

"Judgy. If you need me to simplify you can just say so."

"I think I can handle your smart mouth just fine."

"Then why am I winning?"

"I didn't realize this was a competition."

"Rookie mistake." you shook your head dramatically.

"I'm pretty sure it's a rookier mistake to assume you're winning. Who's the judge?"

"My innate inner sense of whether I'm winning or not."

"If it's inside you, then how would one file a complaint concerning an unfair ruling?"

"They wouldn't. It's a noble and just system that decided I'm in the lead. You just need to accept the truth."

"Don't make me come in there," he said, smirking good-naturedly.

"In where?" you shot back.

"In you." his smirk held on for a second before he seemed to realize what he said and his face scrunched up in apologetic laughter.

Your mind slipped into the gutter the way new yorkers fall into sinkholes filled with rats - hilariously fast.

Albeit greatly amused, he started to correct himself, "I didn't mean-"

"No, of course not." you licked your lips, "I understood you the first time " Was karma going to bite you in the ass for that lie? Who knows, but you might even be into that. Everything seems possible when the sun is shining. So he shone.

He grinned with his happy mouth and you once again noted how the light from the window behind him silhouetted him in the golden lining that made him look like a cutout glued onto the scene of this funny collage. His hair was aflame and his face was darker from the shadows but just as loudly burning with laughter.

This was happy.

You drew the word in your mind, line by line. H, a smooth move from the bottom, a decorative loop, then a parallel stroke, and a transversal. A, a circle with a tail, sharp move upward, and an even sharper drop for the backbone of p. P's tummy? Bulge? Nope, your mind shouldn't slip there in the middle of Binns’ class, no matter how boring he was. Another p, as George's knee bumped into yours. He was moved from "Mr. Wester, Phillip." for being disruptive, so he engaged in an under-the-table kind of disruption with his new tablemate.

You smiled. A long diagonal line, and another shorter one that cut into it. Y.

Happy.

You were, truly, right now. It sounded upside down to be happy though, both overall and when stuck in a soul-suckingly draining class, but you were.

George read over your shoulder, then audaciously engaged in over-the-table elbow-bumping-disruption and a cocked eyebrow. You straightened up, feeling a warm line unfold from the back of your head to the core of your brain, through the center of your chest, and straight to your stomach. Your happy line.

I'm happy, you mouthed.

Really? He mouthed back sarcastically yet good-naturedly. I can definitely see why. His eyes darted toward the professor. I say go for it, he's a catch. You might even be his type.

You burst out laughing, then immediately bit your lip. A few students, including Philip, looked at you as you shook with laughter, but professor Binns carried on.

George, on the other hand, shrugged with his shit-eating grin, pretending he has no idea why you were laughing, thus letting everyone know why you were laughing.

You scribbled, I don't know. What if it goes badly. I'd hate to be ghosted.

George raised his eyebrows at the Muggle slang you explained before. His hand slipped next to yours on the table and you felt your happy line thrum in approval. His hand was warm as he gently pressed it to yours, slowly took your quill, and scribbled back: Need someone more physical, huh? And I thought you were the romantic type.

Strong words for someone who never bought me dinner, you replied.

Mhm, as soon as I find a good line get you to agree to it.

Keep writing like that and I'll start thinking you fancy me.

Keep your mind in the gutter and I'll start thinking you don't fancy me back. He accented that line with a wink and an overdramatic lip bite.

You pouted sarcastically at him. Of course not, I only want you for your knobby knees.

He chuckled, reminded of the short line of warmth that connected your knees under the table. He pressed his into yours a little stronger, then pulled away.

That's a funny way of flirting. I'd know, I'm an expert at funny.

Self-proclaimed.

Untrue.

And I'm not flirting. If I was, you'd know it.

Would you? your breath hitched. For reasons you very well knew but refused to sound out to yourself, this short sentence drove the air around you two from joking to serious at breakneck speed.

Know if you were flirting with me? your happy line felt jumbled up in your stomach. He smiled at you.

Would you know if you were flirting with me?

The following week was arduous.

Gryffindors had a record amount of detentions, and Snape tore into them any and every chance he could. Even McGonagall was one edge, meaning lousy or missed homework was a death sentence. You forgot how to read from tiredness, submitting essays patchworked of other people's thoughts without ever having any information pass through your head. Everything was dull, gray, and dragged out.

Despite that, outside the castle the sky was blue and sunlight streamed through the soft clouds and a sweet breeze would blow around aimlessly. It was both comforting and a little mocking. The sky should be as exhausted and as beaten down as you. Good to know stress made you compare yourself to a literal sky. But maybe that's a little cruel. Nevertheless, it sounded like nature itself was turning its nose up at you, saying you're selfish for wanting grey skies, she doesn't care, she's above puny human affairs. The world turns and you have to turn with it or stop, then spend the rest of the time catching up.

You haven't stopped yet, but by all that is holy, you wanted to sleep. As the sun finally descended on a Friday after dinner, you finished your essays in hope that the next week might be kinder if you do everything quickly. The common room was dark, most of the light coming from the fire in the fireplace. It was also oddly empty for nine-thirty in the evening. Apparently, everyone had the same week as you.

Your almost finished essay laid on the table as you dozed, swinging your legs back and forth over the edge of your armchair.

The creak of the portrait opening caught your attention, and George Weasley walked in a second later, rubbing his sore hand and cussing.

Truly everyone had a shitty week.

"Love?" you said teasingly.

He looked up at you with a tired grin.

"It's late."

"Not really. You okay?"

"Nothing I can't handle, love." he sighed, leaning against the wall next to the fireplace.

"Can I see?" you crossed the room to stand in front of him. Again, the firelight licked at the lines of his face, clear and sharp. He had circles under his eyes and a heavily nibbled lip.

"It's nothing." still, George raised his hand. "Love." he added, distantly. He seemed to be staring right above your head. You looked at the middle line of his lips again. You imagined him biting it.

Was it him that bit it? That one hurt. You hoped it was him.

You took his hand in your and rubbed circles into his knuckles. His eye winced.

"I'm sorry."

"S'not your fault."

"What happened?" he closed his eyes.

"Two ickle firsties almost brought the wrath of Umbridge into themselves with some dungbombs. You know how it goes," he said, a corner of his lip tugging upwards. Your chest expanded looking at him being satisfied with himself. As he should be.

"How... responsible of you," you said.

His eyes snapped downwards to yours.

"Keep looking at me like that and I might also start being appropriate too, darling."

You stepped closer, your happy line thrumming against your chest like a quivering violin string.

"What if being responsible is enough?"

"Enough for what?" he breathed out before you pressed yourself against him.

At first, that's was it was - a press of two warm lips. Then he started to move slowly, almost gentlemanly. How appropriate.

As he touched you, you felt the daze of last week lift. The little star scribble on the back of your head lit up, pulsing with brightness rather than fogging your thought. This was clear, you felt his every stroke that made up his face and chest and hands. The scribble of happiness extended itself into a web, overtaking your brain - you could feel it and you wondered if he saw it too when he looked at you. You pulled away and lifted your head to check. Probably not, but his eyes were glassy and he gave you a dopey smile. He was glad you were there. You pressed your lips against his again. You were glad he was there too.

The web continued down your neck, arms and chest, into your legs until your toes buzzed with light coursing through you. You were more awake than you have been in a long time.

Your hands were the brightest of all, and as you touched his hands, connecting them fingertip to fingertip, things made sense. The web buzzed and his breath was warm against yours, hands pulsing with energy as your every lifeline connected into his.

[joontier]

Subliminal in Scrubs | V2; report xiii

pairings: dr. jeon jungkook x female reader

chapter rating: NC-17 | genre: humor, workplace relationships

warnings: swearing 

word count: 1.8k

g/n: decided on a bit of a filler for this one as a sort of prelude to future scenes 👀👀 ((likewise manifesting my plan to post another chapter this week))

[taglist]:  @nottodayjjk @ditttiii @zeharilisharaban @btsbunny07 @turquoiseandplaidinautumn @aamxxrii @codeinebelle @btsmakesmehappy @stargukkie @moonchild1​

Subliminal in Scrubs (the records) |  navi. | m.list

Jungkook locks his apartment door behind him, jiggling the doorknob afterwards for ‘double security’ as one would usually call it. He grabs his backpack from the floor and places one of the straps on his shoulders and heads on his way. As he passes by two of his neighbors who live in the same floor, he nods at them, adding a brief hum in greeting. 

“Hey man!” One of the men, Jikwang (as what Jungkook believes this man’s name was), calls out just before Jungkook reaches the elevator. “There was this hot girl asking about you last night.” 

Jungkook raises a brow. He hadn’t really met anyone recently, besides that one cute law student who was looking for a new tenant - and eventually turned out to be your neighbor this whole time. She was cute and all, but she didn’t seem like the type that was ‘hot’ to these types of people. 

Jungkook racks his brain for anything, trying to remember the very few number of his one night stands.Surely,none of them would have gotten pregnant with protection on….surely? On top of that, he hadn’t really disclosed his address to a lot of people too, so there was no way someone would be looking for him, all the more a “hot” woman,as these two would claim. 

“Did she say what her name was?” 

The one beside Jikwang shakes his head, adjusting his beanie. He’d seen this dude a couple of times hanging around, but he never actually got his name.  “Nah bro, I don’t think you’re the commitment type of dude…” he comments, dark eyes looking at Jungkook from his head down to his toe. Who was this guy anyways and who was he to judge whether Jungkook was the type to enter a committed relationship or not? 

“She just...looked rich, rich. She had a driver... who helped her come down from a nice Benz.” 

Jungkook feels his heart drop to the ground. No way in hell. 

“I think her name was Hee something...Junghwa? I dunno man, I’m not good with names. But it sounds similar to that…” 

“Was it Junghee?” 

“Yeah I think that’s it…” bonnet-dude replies, tapping a finger against his chin as he approaches Jungkook. “You think maybe you can set me up? With you know…” 

Jikwang knocks the back of bonnet-man’s head. “I got dibs first, shithead. “If she’s not already yours though,” he adds, delivering a wink aimed at Jungkook. “Her friends will do.” 

Jungkook squints his eyes at the duo. “No. She’s my sister. And she doesn’t have any friends.” A chill courses through his spine as he replies, wondering how she managed to find out where he lived, and why would she even reach out? Why now, when she had so many years to do so? 

Beanie guy simply laughs at him - if it was even considered laughing, when he was practically splitting his sides with laughter - like the thought of having a sister was hilarious to him. “You’re real funny, man. There is no...way...in hell… that that lady was your sister.” 

Ah yes, this man is a health vice personified. Jungkook notes the discoloration of his teeth, the god-awful odor coming from his mouth, and they both reek of alcohol and drugs combined. From a safe distance, Jungkook watches their amusement over the subject that is his sister, thinking about why he even indulged these two in the first place. For all he knows, they might have been shitting on him the whole time. 

“Sorry man. I mean...she’s rich and hot… and you?” Jikwang shrugs his shoulders. 

‘And he?’ What about him? 

What the hell was that supposed to mean? 

Jungkook clicks his tongue silently, clearly taking full offense with Jikwang’s statement. Did they just imply he didn’t look rich and hot too? Well, compared to them though, they’ll obviously have way longer to go. 

Jungkook blinks before equally returning their level of disbelief. “For real, bro?” These men diss him, won’t believe he has a sister whose aura dwarfs his by a million percent, and now they want him to set up a date with her? He shakes his head. Only crooks like these would say insane shit like this. 

If only this wasn’t the cheapest and most convenient apartment he could find to accommodate his daily hustle, Jungkook would have moved out of this crap excuse of an apartment building a long time ago. 

“Keep dreaming man.” 

“Hey, this is what I get for selling you my bike for a good price?” Jikwang eyes Jungkook, taunting him. 

“I owe you nothing. I paid for it ages ago.” Jungkook turns on his heel, leaving the two in the crusty ass corridor of their apartment building. He needs to get a new place. Quickly. 

With a sigh, he pulls on his down jacket, keeping himself warm as he walks to the garage. 

‘King Auto’ 

There’s a certain warmth that envelops Jungkook whenever he sees the garage, a place he’d rather call home than his terrible apartment building. It sits right at the corner of two busy streets, just six blocks away from his apartment. 

Funnily enough, it wasn’t him who first found out about the garage but the other way around. Well, technically, the owner did. Lee Dongmin, owner and manager of ‘King Auto’ repairs and restores almost all types of cars and bikes alike, occasionally servicing high-end cars on lucky days. 

Dongmin would usually see Jungkook pass by the garage in the morning on his way to the university or his part-time job.Well, being located at a busy street in the city of Seoul, there would normally be a lot of passersby but Dongmin knew these people either worked or lived around the area; Jungkook, however, always lingered when he walks past the garage. 

It had come to Dongmin’s knowledge a few months later that Jungkook purposefully used a longer route on his way, walking two extra blocks just so that he could pass by the garage. Dongmin hadn’t initially done anything about it, as he thought Jungkook simply took interest in cars - especially when the shop had its fair share of servicing cars from the western market. 

There was this particular day though one summer, that their paths would finally cross. Jungkook’s bike, the same bike he bought from sketchy Jikwang, broke down. Coincidentally just in front of King Auto too. Funnily enough, no one in the garage was familiar with fixing up bikes, but Jungkook simply asked if he could borrow a few tools and he’d fix his bike himself. 

Ultimately, Jungkook became part of the King Auto family. He’d spend his spare time in the garage when he’s not busy with his part-time jobs and on occasion, Jungkook gets to keep a tiny commission whenever he helps out with the repairs. 

Jungkook goes through the front door greeting the new receptionist, Clark, a good morning before heading straight to the garage. Jungkook spots a familiar shade of blue peeking through the scissor lifts, just by the end row. He practically dashes to the car in excitement, too thrilled to greet his favorite car he had worked on previously. 

“My baby!” The boy exclaims as he rests his chin on the Porsche Panamera’s roof. “Kook! Get your hands off that! I just had it cleaned!” gruffs Mansik from the other side of the car, flinging his towel at Jungkook who mumbles a sorry but continues to cradle the car, a little more gently this time. 

“If you continue doing that, you know a towel isn’t the only thing Mansik is going to throw at you.” Lee Dongmin’s voice is low, careful that the man he’s referring to won’t hear his words. “I’m glad he hasn’t resorted to tools yet...just a couple of smelly socks and a t-shirt that smells like it hasn’t been washed for months... “ 

“Fuckers.” True to Jungkook’s foreboding, Mansik does throw a sock ball from out of nowhere, one which barely misses Jungkook’s face. Dongmin simply shakes his head at his workers, who he has considered family at this point, Jungkook included. “I’m just glad none of that fell into my first coffee of the day.” Dongmin observes, drawing himself father from the Porsche and any flying objects later on. 

“By the way, the owner is actually here to pick up the car. I may or may not have mentioned your infatuation with it.” 

Jungkook almost instantly jumps to his feet, searching for the owner inside the garage, but disappointingly ending up with all the familiar faces at the garage. “Chill, kid. He just grabbed some coffee down the street,” Dongmin mentions as he takes a sip of his own. “Ah, speaking of the devil,” the latter states, nodding his head towards someone behind Jungkook. 

“Seokjin-sunbaenim?” 

“Oh hey! Wasn’t expecting to see you here...Jungkook, right?” 

“Yes sir!” Jungkook’s pupils shake, animatedly looking back and forth between the garage owner and his upper-level resident. “So...you’re the one who owns this Porsche?” Seokjin raises his cup, adding a small nod in Jungkook’s direction. He internalizes his excitement, before confessing his love for Seokjin’s Panamera. 

“And so, Dongmin here mentioned. Also said you were the one who fixed her up. Thanks man!” 

Dongmin looks at the two of them, eyebrows creased in the middle. “You two know each other?” 

“Seokjin-sunbaenim is a senior of mine at Woocheon.” Seemingly shellshocked at the new piece of information, Dongmin turns to Seokjin, “You’re a doctor?” The owner of the Porsche rolls his eyes fondly, “Yes, Dongmin. We can have lives outside the hospital too, you know.” 

“Anyways, ‘Mera’s ready to go yeah?” 

“Of course. Kook fixed it up just fine.” 

“Alright. Got a shift today man? Need a ride to the hospital?” 

Jungkook is tempted to give in, but merely fixing Seokjin’s car is enough honor for him and he can’t take advantage of his generosity. “No thank you, sunbae. I’ve already got a ride to work today.” Jungkook points to his bike on the other side of the garage. 

Seokjin tuts his disbelief. “You’re kidding me right? In this weather?” The older doctor points outside, then rubs his palm against his down coat. “No way in hell, kid. Get in the car.” 

“Really?” Jungkook mumbles, dimple on display as his lips form a thin line. Seokjin makes a hum of approval as he takes off his jacket while Jungkook dashes back to where he’d left his backpack. “He’s a good kid, Jungkook. Can be a bit of a delinquent sometimes, but he’s good. Take care of him, yeah?” 

“Huh,” Seokjin smirks, “this handsome face got nothing he can’t handle.” Dongmin rolls his eyes this time, “Seriously doubt we’re the same age honestly.” 

Jungkook returns to where the Porsche is parked, and Seokjin gets a spur-of-the-moment idea. The surgical resident throws his keys to Jungkook before settling inside the passenger seat. Jungkook, surprised as ever, simply stands there in surprise. “Well?” Seokjin asks, ducking towards the dashboard so he could take a look at Jungkook, “We’re gonna be late!” 

© joontier 2021

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

Unfaithful | Part Three

Series Summary: After dreaming of your perfect wedding since you were a little girl the big day is almost here. But after meeting the priest you start to question your relationship.

Pairing: Hot Priest x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2828

Warnings: abusive behaviour, a lot of angsty stuff, drunken behaviour and a pinch of fluff

A/N: Please be warned there will be some themes of toxic/abusive relationship in this series. Also, spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Part Two | Masterlist

- - - - -

I sit alone on the bench outside the church, looking out at the empty graveyard in front of me. 

The miserable grey clouds above part and bright sunlight beams down to earth, shining on the Priest who is now walking up the path toward me. The light seems to be following him and as he moves closer I realise he’s dressed in a magnificent purple and gold gown. 

“Why are you wearing that?” I ask

“This is what I’m going to wear when I marry you” 

“Wow, I love it! Not sure Daniel will-”

“Who’s Daniel?” He asks and I laugh, but his serious face tells me he’s not joking.

“Daniel? My fiancé, the man I’m getting married to…”

“What are you talking about? You're marrying me remember?” He sits on the bench next to me, taking my hand and showing me the engagement ring on my finger, a ring I’ve never seen before.

“I- I don't understand. We’re engaged?”

“Are you feeling okay? Yes, we’re engaged and in a few weeks we’ll be husband and wife!” He holds my face gently in his hands and looks deeply into my eyes “I love you Y/N!”

He leans in and kisses me passionately.

— — — — 

My eyes shoot open and I realise I’m in bed. It was just a dream. Why do I feel slightly disappointed? 

Every night since that night at the church the Priest has been in my dreams, and every night the theme has been the same; the Priest and I are in love. 

I shake the thought out of my mind and roll over, reaching over to hug my real life fiancé but my arm falls straight down on the mattress. He isn’t there. 

I sit up and reach over to grab my phone off the bedside table. 9:30am! I must have needed that lie in. I roll out of bed, wrap my dressing gown around myself and head down stairs to the kitchen. I need coffee. 

Walking into the kitchen I find Daniel sat at the table waiting for me. 

“Morning!” I greet him cheerfully as I fill up the kettle “coffee?”

“No thanks.” He responds dismissively, changing the subject. “The other day, when I came home from the pub and you stormed out… where did you go?"

“I just went for a walk” I answer honestly

“Where?” 

“I don't know, I just wondered around for a bit and found a bench to sit on” 

“Alone?” 

“Yeah” I lie

“So you sat on a bench in the dark and drank all alone” He places an empty silver and green can on the table and looks at me accusingly, waiting for a response. 

“You went through my bag?” I silently curse myself for not throwing the can away yet.

“I was looking for something”

“What?”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER!” He slams his hand down on the can, crushing it against the table “You met him didn’t you? Father whatever his name is. I saw the same can of G&T in his office”

“Okay fine, yes I saw him. I didn’t plan to. I just went to the church to think. I thought it was empty but he was there and we talked for a bit”

“And drank”

“I was upset so he offered me a drink.”

“And then you lied to me about it” he says, getting up and slowly walking over to me.

“Because I knew you’d overreact!” I respond, poring the boiling water into my cup and stirring the coffee.

“Oh I’m overreacting am I? Tell me, how am I supposed to react when another man flirts with my fiancé in front of my face?”

“He hasn’t flirted with me Daniel, he’s our priest! He’s just trying to get to know us, but you won’t let him!” 

“I don’t want to get to know that creep!” 

“You know what? I can’t be bothered with this right now” I roll my eyes before saying three words I would instantly regret “You're being pathetic” 

I can almost see the red mist in Daniel’s eyes as he grabs my coffee cup and throws the boiling hot contents straight in my face. I suppress a scream as I wipe the coffee from my eyes, the liquid burning my skin. I run upstairs as fast as I can and lock myself in the bathroom, immediately  splashing cold water over myself. I soak a flannel in water and hold it over my face for a few minutes, trying to cool my burning skin. Daniel starts banging on the door, begging me to open up so he can apologise. When he starts to mention his dad I shut out the sound of his voice, choosing to ignore his excuses. I’ve heard them all before. 

When my skin finally starts to feel a little less on fire I remove the flannel and examine my blotchy red face in the mirror. A few small blisters have already started to form on my cheek and down the side of my neck. I bring my hand up to gently touch them, and hiss with pain as eyes instantly fill with tears. I cover my face with the flannel again and sit on the floor, leaning with my back against the door as Daniel continues to talk on the other side. I stay like that for however long it takes for him to finally leave me alone. Once I’m sure he’s gone I go silently to the bedroom, quickly get dressed and go downstairs. As I’m putting my shoes on Daniel comes running to me.

“Where are you going?” 

“To the hospital”

“No no, please- please don’t go. I’m sorry!” He panics.

“I need something to fix this” I argue, gesturing to the blisters and peeling skin.

“I can fix it!”

“Not this time” I walk out the house, slamming the door behind me. I hear it open again and I turn back to glare at Daniel as he’s about to step out. “Leave me alone!” I warn him before walking off, surprised that he actually obeys me for once. I hail a passing taxi and climb in the back. 

“A&E please” I say and he looks at me through the rear view mirror, his eyes widen as he sees the state I’m in but he doesn’t say anything. He just silently drives me where I need to go. 

— — — — 

“And how did this happen?” 

“I was carrying a cup of coffee when I slipped and fell, throwing the whole lot over myself.” I lie as convincingly as possible as the doctor examines my skin “I can be such a clutz sometimes”

I let out a small awkward laugh which the doctor ignores.

“Hm. Well you're lucky, there’s no permanent damage. It will be painful for a few days but it will heal. I’ll prescribe you some cream which will soothe it but in the mean time go home and take it easy. No more ‘accidents’ okay?” 

I can tell by her voice she doesn’t quite believe my story. 

“Thank you doctor” I say, taking the tube of cream off her and walking outside.

As I stand waiting for another taxi I realise, I’m not ready to face going home yet. There’s only one person I really want to see right now. 

— — — — 

Once again I find myself stood outside the big wooden doors of the church, suddenly doubting whether or not I should be here. I know I want to be here but I also know that if Daniel found out it would create yet another drama. I’m so trapped in my own moral dilemma that I don’t hear the footsteps approach behind me. 

“Y/N?”

I spin around to see the Priest walking toward me. His face goes from confusion, to horror as he sees my skin.

“Holy shit! What happened to your face?”

“I don't really wanna talk about it right now”

“Thats okay, you don't have to tell me anything” he smiles a gently smile and my heart flutters.

“I know it’s the middle of the day and you're my priest but… I don't suppose you have any more gin?”

“You’re in luck” his smile turns into a grin as he lifts up the bag in his hand and I hear the sound of cans clattering inside it.

— — — — 

A couple of hours and a few too many drinks later, the Priest and I are ever so slightly drunk and currently laughing about… well I don't actually know what. Everything just seems hilarious after a few cans of G&T. 

“You know, I think I’ve laughed more with you in the past week than I have in the past year with Daniel” I say, as he hands me another can “Maybe if you’d have been the Priest here when I was a teenager I wouldn’t have stopped coming. Teenage Y/N would have loved you. The old Priest just seemed so… judgy. I couldn’t think of anything worse than telling him my sins” 

“Hey that’s reminds me, you’ve never confessed to me! We should it now” 

“Oh no no no, absolutely not”

“Come on! It’ll be fun”

“Fun for you maybe, not for me! You just want to find out all my secrets”

“Of course I do, that’s why I do this job. That and so I can wear the outfits”

“You’re terrible” I laugh, shaking my head at him

“I know! That’s why you can tell me anything and I won’t judge you. I’ve probably done much worse” 

I get an idea. 

“Okay fine. I’ll confess to you. But you have to confess to me in return” 

“That’s not how this works”

“It is now! I’ll tell you my sins and you tell me yours”

“I’m a Priest, I don't sin”

“You're drunk in a church in the middle of the afternoon, pretty sure you're sinning right now”

“Good point” he thinks for a moment before getting up out his chair “okay, deal. Lets do this” 

I follow him out into the main church toward the confession box. He pulls open the curtain and gestures for me to enter. I do and he closes the curtain behind me before getting into the next box. I can just about see him through the holes in the wall. 

“You go first” I say quickly.

“Okay, um… I drink alcohol in my office on a regular basis”

“That’s a boring one!” I wine

“We’ll get to the good stuff eventually. Your turn”

“Fine. When I was 8 I stole a pencil topper from a bitchy girl in school because I liked it and I didn’t think she deserved it”

“A pencil topper? You criminal!” He laughs 

“It was shaped like Mickey Mouse!”

“How are you not in jail yet” he says sarcastically and I can hear the amusement in his voice “My turn. Sometimes when I hear Pam calling for me I hide in here and lie to her about where I am”

“I don't blame you, that woman scares me” 

“Right?! She’s terrifying!” 

We both burst into laughter, and as it dies down I realise it’s my turn again. I take a deep breath and speak again. 

“I lied to my Daniel about being with you the other night because I knew he’d get angry.” 

Without thinking my hand comes up to gently touch the burns on my face as my mind takes me back to the incident this morning. I snap out of it and turn to look at the wall. For a brief second I catch the Priest looking through the hole at me, but he turns to face the front. 

“I broke my vow of celibacy last year”

“I’ve been having inappropriate dreams about another man while laying in the same bed as my fiancé” 

“I’m in love with you” 

“What?” I say, trying to see him through the holes in the wall but he doesn’t look at me. He just stares down at the floor.

“I’m-” he pauses “I love you”

He finally looks up at me, the sudden eye contact almost takes my breath away. I don't know what to say, I’m completely lost for words. The intensity of his dark brown eyes is too much and I’m forced to look away, looking down as I fiddle nervously with the sleeves of my shirt. 

“Y/N?” 

I quickly get up and walk out of the booth, but he stays put. I stand for a moment looking at the curtain, wondering if he’s going to come out. When he doesn’t I realise its up to me to make a choice. 

I could tell the Priest how I feel about him. I could admit that I’ve imagined what it would be like to kiss him, to hold him, to wake up next to him.

Or I could leave right now and pretend none of this happened, go back home to Daniel. The man I’m engaged to marry. The man who I’ve loved since school. The man who, just this morning, threw boiling hot coffee in my face. 

I make a decision. 

I open the curtain to see the priest still sat on the tiny bench, and he looks up at me with wide eyes. He watches as I squeeze into the booth with him, placing my hands on either side of his face. He stands up slowly so our faces are inches apart and slowly moves in. 

“I love you too”

He looks into my eyes one last time before I close the gap, our lips crashing together. I keep expecting to wake up any second now, for this to just be another cruel emotionally confusing dream. 

But this is real. 

I’m kissing a priest. 

Part Four

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_domestic_violence_hotlines

[hiccanna-tidbits]

*kicking at your door, smashing it* DING DONG

Hello! 🥰🌸

from "Questions You Should Be Able To Answer For Any OTP" 1,3,4,5,9 and 10 for moanida!😅💜 But you can answer all of them or only few of them is it's too much ahaha

Ily, take care!!

YEAH BOIIII

Coffee shop AU: Who is the barista, and who frequents the coffee shop?

I'm just imagining Moana being a barista at some hole-in-the-wall authentic Polynesian coffee place by the beach, and of course Merida because she damn well needs her caffeine in the morning or she'll pass out, and Rapunzel insists on starting these fucking Squad Beach Days early. Merida was honestly willing to take the first cup of coffee she could get when the gang first went into town, but uhhhhhh oh GOD that girl behind the counter is cute!!! Merida starts "ending up" in there quite a lot, although initially she can barely string a coherent sentence together in front of that cute barista and can't make eye contact for more than half a second. Extroverted as she can be, Merida dissolves into an absolute mess as soon as a pretty girl is involved XD

Merida also pretends to only like black coffee to make herself seem tough, but in reality she kind of hates it and prefers sugar-laden lattes and sweet teas. After a while, when she and Mo have established kind of a friendship, and Merida can have an conversation with Mo without imploding and making an idiot of herself, Mo notices Mer making a face every time she sips her Plain Black Coffee and kinda smirks and is like “You know, there’s no shame in adding sweeteners. I mean, for god’s sake, my favorite drink here is the blonde vanilla coconut latte, and I’m still pretty tough.” Merida is just like “OH THANK GOD” and finally admits that she’d much rather be ordering an Irish crème, toffee, buttered rum, cinnamon, or caramel latte. If the seasonal flavor selection offers any apple-accented or apple pie-esque lattes, Merida’s all about that shit, too! Probably the most “intense” drink Merida actually enjoys is a pretty spicy cinnamon latte. She ends up ordering this pretty frequently to impress Moana with her spice tolerance, even though she really doesn’t need to.

Also, in case there’s any question about it--yes, Moana absolutely memorizes Merida’s orders! Moana also memorizes what flavor syrups Merida seems to like best (i.e. spicy cinnamon, apple pie, caramel, toffee, butterscotch) and gives them extra shots of them in her drinks. When the manager complains about all of Merida’s favorite flavor syrups running out frequently, Moana is like “Oh nooooo, I have no idea why THAT could be! That’s terrible!”

Rivals to lovers AU: Who takes their rivalry seriously, and who is half in it just to push the other’s buttons?

I love the idea of them having a super-petty sports rivalry in a modern AU! Merida strikes me as being competitive as hell, so I’m betting anything she’d be the one to take it way too seriously and get increasingly annoyed with Moana outdoing her, while Mo kind of gives in and indulges Mer but is also secretly amused and kind of flattered that Mer is like...that into their rivalry. Moana’s just like *Regina George voice* “Why are you so OBSESSED with me???”

Like maybe in a modern-day college AU, Merida has been the star of her college’s archery team basically since freshman year. She wins the championships!!! She gets the trophies!!! She’s very well-known within the tiny niche community that is college archery!!! Then, come junior year, this girl in Merida’s year who Merida’s never even SEEN before shows up out of nowhere and makes the cut for the team. She’s honestly way better than she has any right to be (like judging by how she is with that harpoon gun, Moana’s aim is pretty damn good) and is constantly stealing the spotlight, and Merida is a very angry lass. Like it seems like no matter what she does, Moana can always one-up her, and Merida wants to tear her hair out in frustration. Doesn’t help that every time Moana does ridiculously good on a drill and gets 7 bullseyes in a row or some shit, she’s insufferably smug and cocky about it. Merida very-nearly throws a fit every time Mo outdoes her, and Moana honestly finds the whole thing pretty amusing. She’s sort of flattered that apparently only she can get such dramatic reactions out of Mer, and that just tempts her to push Mer’s buttons all the more.

Then, come the annual Big Archery Tournament Finals! As usual, Merida’s college’s team wins--although this time, it’s through a combination of Merida’s and Moana’s skills rather than just Merida kicking archery ass for like 2 hours straight. On the individual evaluations, Moana scores higher than Merida, but only by a little bit. Merida is, of course, extremely salty, but she’s also grudgingly grateful that Moana being there was able to give their team a definitive edge in the competition.

Afterwards, the team goes out for celebratory drinks. After probably 3 drinks too many, Moana finally works up the courage to try and actually like...have a straight conversation with Merida for once, instead of just communicating with passive-aggressive show-offery. She wanders over, sits next to Mer at the bar, and half-slurredly asks if she can declare a truce just for one night, in honor of their kind-of-teamwork winning the tournament. Merida is also a few drinks in, so she’s just like “sure, fuck it, maybe yer not so bad after all. Now prove to me you’re not a pain in the arse!”

They chat for a while, and it turns out Moana is actually pretty easygoing and fun to talk to when she’s not mega-flexing with her archery skills. After a few more drinks, Moana is like “...can I tell you something?” and Merida’s like “why not?”

And then Moana just goes bright red and looks away and admits that the whole reason she got into archery and boosted up her skills enough to join the team in the first place was because she saw Merida making like 50 bullseyes at the previous year’s tournament, and developed a huge crush on her--to the point where she did all this extra-ass shit just so she could join the archery team and get to know Merida better. Also, every instance of Moana acting smug and cocky after acing a drill or perfectly hitting a target? It was honestly because she was trying to impress and show off to Merida, and also because she’s awkward as hell and has no idea how to actually flirt without being joke-mean and joke-cocky. Merida, a much more emotional drunk than she will ever admit, starts crying and gets super apologetic, because oh god, she was being so mean and rude to this girl who only ever thought she was cool and wanted to impress her from the jump??? How COULD she??? Moana lowkey loses her shit laughing because how mad Merida got at being upstaged was honestly kind of hilarious, and she was actually really flattered that Merida was, again, that obsessed with their rivalry. It made Moana feel weirdly special that only she could get to Merida that much, and she honestly liked the attention, even if it...wasn’t the most positive XD And Merida starts laughing, too, because she’ll admit that in hindsight, this whole thing feels a little ridiculous, and extracurricular college archery really isn’t that big of a deal.

Finally, Merida just rolls her eyes and says “C’mere, yeh bloody show-off yeh” and grabs Moana by the front of her archery uniform and smooches her!!! The entire archery team hoots and hollers because OH SHIT, DAT GAY!!! Merida holds out her other hand and flips the entire team off, which honestly just makes them cheer more.

Enemies to lovers AU: Which one switches sides?

Depends a lot on the conflict, I think! Maybe a war breaks out in an AU where someone other than Moana is chosen to return the Heart of Te Fiti--I’m gonna say Tui, for irony’s sake! Moana and Sina take over as co-chiefs while he’s gone, but he takes significantly longer than Moana did in the quest, so Moana’s tribe is eventually forced to flee Motunui to find new fishing grounds before their island is overtaken by darkness. The people of Motunui sail across the world, trying to find a new place to call home. Unfortunately, every time they find a habitable place, it’s already occupied, and the people who live there are uninterested in sharing their already-scarce food.

Eventually they stumble upon Dunbroch, far enough away from Motunui that the seas aren’t affected by the spreading darkness, and fish are plentiful. Naturally, Moana’s tribe sets up a camp on the shores and starts catching as many fish as they can, hoping they’ve finally found a place where they can have enough to eat again. Unfortunately Fergus and Elinor aren’t too crazy about this, and are like “yo, these oceans and these fish and other game belong to the people of Dunbroch and you gotta leave” and Sina and Moana are like “Pls we don’t have any place to go and we’ve been barely eating for a long-ass time, can’t you spare some food?” and Fergus and Elinor are like “sorry bro, it’s almost winter and we have our own entire kingdom to look after, we don’t need more mouths to feed. You gotta be on your way or shit’s gonna get real.”

So Moana thinks this sounds sketch as fuck because like...there’s an entire forest full of deer, rabbits, and other game, and they have NO food they can spare??? That night, Sina sends Moana to spy on the kingdom, since she can be pretty sneaky when she wants. Moana manages to climb the castle battlements and watch through a window, and she sees a bunch of people enjoying a massive feast in a huge dining hall. Her eyes are particularly drawn to a girl about her age with a head full of bright, fiery curls, wearing a nice dark green dress and gorging herself on pastries adorned with white icing and raspberries.

Moana heads back and tells Sina “actually it looks like these assholes have PLENTY of food to spare, and they just want to keep it all for themselves” and Sina is like “well shit...why don’t we raid their food store, then??? They’ve gotta have one somewhere!” And so the Motunui village storms Castle Dunbroch at dawn, catching them almost completely by surprise.

The first thing Moana does is seek out the redheaded pastry girl, whom she’s developed a particular disdain for. When she rushes her, she’s surprised that the ginger girl whips around and immediately sends an arrow sailing into her shoulder. When Moana gets close, the redheaded girl pulls out a sword. Moana takes out a long, sharpened wooden spear made from a particularly tough oar.

She turns out to be much more competent than Moana expected, especially for someone who was shamelessly shoving sweets into her mouth not 7 hours earlier.

They go toe to toe Raya-and-Namaari style, and the redheaded girl admittedly gives Moana a run for her money. The longer the battle goes on, the more Moana’s rage grows. She taunts the redheaded girl the entire time, calling her a spoiled, selfish brat who’d rather gorge herself with all the sugar in the world than share even one grain of it. Merida, who hasn’t exactly heard good things about these people from her parents, is just like “well, you’re no better, showing up and thinking you can just steal what belongs to Dunbroch and we won’t put up a fight!”

And thus the war begins. Motunui is never quite strong enough to get through the guards and raid the food stores, and Dunbroch is never quite strong enough to fully drive Motunui out of the kingdom. Fergus and Moana are both far too stubborn to surrender (despite the fact that Sina is kind of ready to), and so the battles continue. Casualties start to pile up. Dunbroch seeks help from the other clans, but they refuse--they did not take their leaders’ sons being scorned by the Dunbroch princess lightly.

Over and over, Moana can’t help but be drawn to the redheaded girl. She realizes after a few battles that this girl isn’t just anymore, but the Dunbroch princess--her resemblance to the king and his protectiveness over her can’t be a coincidence. It only makes Moana hate her more--but time and time again, she isn’t able to get the better of the princess. Moana can fight hard, and she can be vicious--but so, she’s discovering, can the Dunbroch girl. The princess is clever and cunning, and underestimating her has almost gotten Moana a blade in the throat one too many times.

Merida would be the one to change sides eventually, I think (wooo! Finally got to the actual question!). Once she finds out her parents didn’t tell her the whole truth about their first meeting with the Motunui village and sorta fudged what happened, Merida is livid that they turned away people who needed help. She said if she had known there were people who were tired and hungry and just needed a place to rest, she would have gladly given up some of her own meals for them! To prove this, she gathers up her dinner--plus some apples and some pastries she was going to have for dessert--and puts it in a basket, taking it to the Motunui camp as a peace offering. Moana ambushes her and very nearly slices the basket in half, if only because Moana was convinced it was filled with venemous snakes. After some bickering, Moana finally snatches the food away and, after testing it to make sure it wasn’t poisoned, brings it to Sina.

Unfortunately, one basket of food isn’t enough to feed the village, and the fighting continues. Merida tries to convince her parents to share their food stores with Motunui, but they still refuse, saying they need those stores for their own people and the Motunui people killed any chance of goodwill they might get when they attacked. Determined not to see people starve, Merida starts stealing from the reserve herself and sneaking the food out to the Motunui camp. Moana is feeling a lot more kindly towards Merida at this point, and feels a little bad about being so quick to judge her initially.

Eventually, Fergus and Elinor notice the food in the stores going missing, and figure some of the Motunui villagers must be running stealth operations to sneak in and get it. Dunbroch launches a full-scale attack on Montunui--while Merida is at their camp sneaking them food, in fact. Fergus makes a beeline for Moana. Word has gotten out by now of the times she managed to spy on the castle, so her sneakiness is well-known--and Fergus is all but certain she’s the thief. He charges at her with his sword, aimed to kill, when his own daughter steps in the way.

He barely manages to stop himself, but he does just in time. Merida admits she was stealing the food the whole time, and she can’t let Fergus hurt Moana. Fergus demands to know why, and Merida tearfully admits “Because I love her!”

Fergus, in a rage, takes out his sword again and charges Merida. Swords clash between father and daughter, and Merida looks like she’s just about to be overpowered. Moana can see the fear and betrayal in her eyes, appalled that her father would actually contemplate hurting her.

Not wanting to see whether he actually would, Moana steps in and helps Merida to fend Fergus off. “Enough!” she screams. “How can you live with yourself? My father risked his life to try to save his daughter and his people--and you’re willing to fight yours because she doesn’t agree with all this senseless violence?! You make me sick! I’m standing with Merida, because...because I love her too. I’ll leave if you want, but I want this to end.”

This finally snaps Fergus out of it, and he and Elinor decide that maybe the fighting has gone on long enough--and maybe it’s not worth it anymore, if it’s pitting them against their own daughter now. They end up trying to work out something with Motunui. Establishing a peace treaty and figuring out how to proceed forward is a long and messy process, but everyone is willing to put in the work--for the sake of Merida and Moana, if for nothing else.

Soulmate AU: Who is eager to meet their soulmate? Who absolutely does not want to meet their soulmate?

Neither of them want to meet their soulmate XD Merida has just been repulsed by the idea of marriage and commitment since she was young, mainly because she can’t not see it as just a means of taking her freedom away and making her be subservient to someone. Besides, given the, um...heteronormative culture of Dunbroch and all, she assumes she’ll get not just stuck with, but cosmically bound to a man and that idea just...doesn’t do anything but fill her with unadulterated disgust XD Like please no, she’s perfectly happy to go where she pleases when she pleases with no one but Angus for company. The last thing she needs is some stuck-up, snot-nosed boy telling her what she can and can’t do.

Moana has similar concerns, although maybe a bit less extreme. She’s mainly worried that when she meets her soulmate and, as per expectation, marries them, she’ll be expected to “mature” into a full adult and fully embrace her responsibilities as chief, leaving behind her childhood dreams of exploring the ocean. Same as Merida, she’s worried the person she’s destined for will tie her down and prevent her from exploring and going on the adventures she craves so badly. She’s also, like Merida, worried she’ll get stuck with some lame, boring dude who she’ll be destined for because...he loves her!!! And will be really nice to her!!! But will not stimulate or interest her in any way whatsoever!!! And Moana is pretty uninterested in romance and dating regardless, so the idea of any kind of romantic partner who she’d hypothetically have to run crazy ideas by before just doing them doesn’t sound too appealing to her. Like, she’s happy where she is and having her friends and family for company, what does she need an SO for??? It just feels like the whole “soulmate” business is just the universe attempting to give her a babysitter, and Moana ain’t about that. She can do things on her own, dammit!!! And what makes the great elder love gods think she wants another person to keep track of on her escapades, anyways?!? It’s enough effort keeping herself safe without worrying about someone else!

Imagine their shocked delight when each finds out their soulmate is a) a girl and b) a girl arguably just as chaotic, adventurous, and rebellious as they are!!! They meet and they’re like “huh...maybe the universe wasn’t being some big dumb fucking idiot binding us together after all. I can work with this!!!”

Pirate AU: Who is the pirate? Who is the member of the royal family who did not sign up for this?

Merida is the pirate! Or at least...the one who becomes a pirate first! XD Maybe to escape her betrothal she steals a ship and flees Dunbroch, and BOOM trouble on the High Seas time!!! Eventually she sails to the south Pacific on her naval escapades, and stumbles on Motunui. When she finds out Moana is a chief’s daughter, she naturally kidnaps her and holds her for ransom--because screw it, she hasn’t successfully pillaged any merchant ships recently and she needs some cash. But instead of being like “Noooo take me home!” Moana is like “Actually this fucks, I’ve always wanted to sail the ocean anyways and my dad wouldn’t let me before, so you’ve accidentally given me an avenue to achieve my dreams!!! Thank you!!!” And Merida realizes that a first mate would actually be a lot more useful in the long run than a handful of hostage money, so she just kind of shrugs like “aight, yer on the crew.”

Merida is a bit salty because Moana takes to the pirate lifestyle excellently--so much so that before long, she’s arguably a better pirate than Merida XD While Merida is a bit cranky about being outdone in the art of piracy, she also can’t help but admire Moana’s natural aptitude for sailing and propensity for mischief on the High Seas!!!

Their ship is called “The Arrow,” and Merida definitely uses her bow during pirate-to-pirate combat! She teaches Moana how to shoot a bow, but discovers Mo is pretty nifty with a harpoon gun as well!

Childhood best friends AU: Which one was super obviously in love with the other the whole time? Who was oblivious until they were older?

Oooooh, this is a fun one!!! Admittedly I don’t usually think about these girls in a Childhood Friends to Lovers AU (very possibly due to...geographical constraints lol) so this’ll be a cool thought experiment!

SO in order to fix my unfortunate geographical constraints, I’m gonna say that this is an AU where the people of Motunui were wayfinders from the jump, and while voyaging (admittedly a LONG way), they stumbled upon Dunbroch. Moana’s parents and Merida’s parents immediately hit it off, and established a political alliance of sorts.

Moana, meanwhile, pulled the classic “little girl on vacation/at an event immediately seeks out other little girl and becomes best friends with her.” Moana and Merida naturally also hit it off immediately, and are both pretty bummed out when Tui and Sina want to leave and continue voyaging and such. However, they make plans to visit as frequently as they can and Merida and Moana are super hyped about this! They both always get extremely excited for said visits, and Little Moana nearly falls off the front of her family’s boat several times because she’s leaning over so far and squinting so hard to try and see Dunbroch.

I love the idea that Moana was the one who was totally smitten from the jump, to the point where it took her years to realize she was aspec because she was like “Of course I can fall in love!!! I’m in love with Merida!!!” She just didn’t realize most people have romantic inclinations toward more than one person over the course of their lives XD

It absolutely does not help that Merida is extremely romance-repulsed when they’re kids--mainly because she associates romance in general with being docile and acting stupid to impress some annoying macho guy, and that thought kinda makes her want to puke. That, and given how, er...heteronormative things are in Dunbroch, it doesn’t reall occur to her that romancing girls is like...an option. So poor Moana has always kind of resigned herself to thinking she has no chance with Merida, and keeps her feelings under pretty tight lock since she doesn’t want to ruin their close friendship and all and she doubts Merida even swings that way.

THEN when they’re in their early teens, Merida is like “hmmm...I wonder what it would be like to kiss Moana?” but then IMMEDIATELY feels weird for thinking that and tells absolutely no one. She’s definitely starting to feel something a little different than just platonic friendship though, and of course she’s also convinced Moana only sees her as a friend and probably doesn’t like girls.

Then one day they’re wrestling around out in the woods, like they have since they were little, and at one point Merida leans down and just impulsively kisses Moana. She’s super flustered and apologetic afterwards, but Moana just stares in shock before being like “holy shit, I never thought you’d actually want me too. Holy shit!!!!” After that, they start secret-dating and everyone around just thinks they’re still “very good friends” XD

When Merida turns 16 and gets the news of her betrothal, she’s devastated. It takes her several days to process her emotions, and several times she tries to protest to her mother, but Elinor steamrolls her and talks over her at every turn. Finally, when Merida can get a word in edgewise, she tearfully bursts out that she can’t go through with this because she loves Moana. Elinor, traditionally-minded woman that she is, is horrified by this.

When Fergus finds out, he GOES OFF at Elinor and sticks up for Merida. He basically says that she’s their daughter and they should want her to be happy, and they should be happy for her that she did find someone she loves, even if it’s a bit...unconventional.

Later, at the betrothal ceremony, Merida picks an archery contest for the suitors with the hopes of cheating the system and winning her own hand. Imagine her surprise when Moana rushes in late with a makeshift bow on her hip, shouting “I am Moana of Motunui, and I’ll be shooting for the princess’s hand as well!”

Luckily, due to Moana’s years and years of informal archery training from Merida herself, the other suitors really don’t stand a chance.

It turns out that Elinor and Fergus set this whole thing up, deciding in the end that their daughter should at least be able to marry who she loves if she had to get looped into a political marriage. And honestly, they weren’t going to say no to a stronger alliance with Motunui at the end of the day. Merida is so pleasantly shocked by the whole thing that she forgets to be mad about the fact that she’s still being pressured into a marriage pretty young XD Luckily, Moana has no intention of trying to hold Merida back or take her freedom away! Their relationship really barely changes after they officially become wives, and they’re still just as in love as they’ve basically always been.

As for the issue of heirs, Elinor and Fergus just make Merida’s brothers the heirs of Dunbroch, and Tui and Sina are fine with Moana and Merida choosing an heir for Motunui who isn’t necessarily their biological child. Neither Moana nor Merida are crazy about the “leaders have to be from the chief/monarch’s bloodline” rule anyways, so they’re more than fine with this!

This is in reference to this post! Still answering these questions for Moanida and Hiccanna, if I haven’t done so already!

@takaraphoenix come get your daily dose of Moanida!

[365days365movies]

April 12, 2021: Mrs. Doubtfire (1992) (Recap)

Hey, Robin Williams. Been a while.

I’m sorry that I haven’t watched your movies for a while, and that I always skip your comedy stand-up when my phone’s on shuffle. I just...let me explain. Since I was a kid, you were one of my favorite entertainers. That might as well have started the day I was born, because...well, we share a birthday, fun fact. But it definitely continued with the first movie I ever saw in theatres.

While I don’t quite remember the first time I saw it, Aladdin was one of my favorite childhood movies, and I knew that you were the voice of the Genie from an early age. You might have actually been the first actor I ever knew by name. Which makes sense, because your stardom during the ‘90s was nearly unparalleled.

The next film I remember seeing (and hearing) you in was Ferngully: The Last Rainforest. That also starred Tim Curry, who would also be a major figure of my childhood. It also wasn’t the best movie, in hindsight, but it is the only time I’ve heard you rap since.

But eventually, I watched your forays into live-action, too. Jumanji, Hook, even the objectively bad Flubber, are all movies that I vividly remember watching during childhood. I was really excited for Flubber, even, and I LOVED Jumanji growing up. I liked Hook, too, but I appreciated that more as I got older.

Of course, during this time period, you also made less family-friendly films. The Fisher King, Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, Good Morning Vietnam, and What Dreams May Come were all very successful, and cemented your reputation as an actor. I also haven’t seen any of them. In fact...I don’t think I’ve seen any of your dramatic roles, and that’s something that I’ll fix this year. Hell, in a few days, I’ll watch The Birdcage, another of your big hits of the ‘90s.

But why haven’t I seen them up to now? Well...I was going to watch these films, about seven years ago. But...I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. Because it hurts. A lot.

I know that this is a downer, but my relationship with Robin Williams today is tainted by his tragic death. I was fucking BROKEN when his death was announced, and I really haven’t been able to watch him since. I’ve seen Aladdin recently, but that’s about all I could stand to watch. I mean, the guy shares a birthday with me! I’ve always loved his comedy stylings, and his improvisational skills are something I’ve internalized to a certain degree.

So, yeah. This one’s tough. But, it’s about time I moved on, and celebrated the man’s career for what it was: stellar. And that also brings up an important question, that some of you have probably asked by now:

HOW HAVE I MISSED MRS. DOUBTFIRE, WHAT THE FUCK

I KNOW I KNOW OK?

Look, I’m not entirely sure how I haven’t seen this movie, because I’m MORE than aware of it! I remember it airing during the ‘90s, my Dad AND girlfriend love this movie, and I know FOR A FACT that my family owned both the DVD AND THE VHS of this movie! So, how? HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN IT BY NOW?

I honestly have no idea, but let’s fix it now, huh? Yet one more man-dresses-as-woman movie this month! And no, I am not watching White Chicks...because I’ve already seen White Chicks. Also, it’s...problematic.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

 Recap

Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) is a voice-actor, and a good one. Which, given that it’s Robin Williams, isn’t entirely inaccurate. He’s also a voice actor with a spine, as he morally objects to a scene in the cartoon that he’s performing for, in which the main character smokes. By the way, I’m 99% sure that this cartoon is animated by Chuck Jones, and it looks well-made.

Anyway, this leads to him quitting the cartoon altogether, and allows him to pick up his kids early from school. These kids are Lydia (Lisa Hykub), Chris (Matthew Lawrence), and Natalie (Mara Wilson), and it’s Chris’ 12th birthday. Daniel arranges a...surprisingly large party, given that it’s completely impromptu, and it comes with a petting zoo and complete trappings. However, it’s not a party of which his wife will approve.

This wife is Miranda (Sally Field), a successful architect and the breadwinner of the family. After getting a call from the neighbor about the party, she comes home and busts the outrageous party. And for the record, I’m entirely on Miranda’s side here. This party is INSANE, and very irresponsible, given the fact that Daniel currently has no job. And yeah, he’s a very loving father, and a good person, but...it’s too much.

Miranda feels the same, and after 14 years of frustration, she realizes that she no longer loves Daniel. In a genuinely sad scene, she tells him that she wants a divorce. And she goes through with it MUCH to Daniel’s detriment. He has no home, as he’s staying with his brother, Frank (Harvey Fierstein) and his partner Jack (Scott Capurro). He also still has no job, meaning that he has no way to provide for his children. This means that he has no ability to provide, and the judge awards Miranda full custody. Oof.

However, this is a conditional arrangement, as another hearing for joint custody will be held in 3 months, and if Daniel can get a home and job in that time, he has a chance. He performs a litany of voices and impressions with his court liason, Mrs. Sellner (Anne Haney), which amuses me, but not her, and he gets a job in order to be with his kids for more than one day a week.

Meanwhile, Miranda IMMEDIATELY starts dating fellow designer and old flame Stuart Dunmeyer (Pierce Brosnan), like, almost before Daniel leaves the house. He bids a heartfelt goodbye to his kids, with the promise that he’ll see them on Saturdays. And now begins the absolute hatred and petty bitchiness of Daniel and Miranda! Seriously, it’s...it’s fucking terrible, and it takes away from my sympathy from either side. I get that divorce is rough and ugly, but GODDAMN, neither of them perform the act with any form of tact or grace.

This is put on display during the kids’ visitation to Daniel’s semi-crappy new apartment, which doesn’t even seem that bad, to be honest. Miranda dropped them off late and picked them up early, as if to slowly starve Daniel of time with his kids, which is extraordinarily shitty of her, fuck me. Daniel’s not taking it well, understandably, but then does something...really dumb, when you think about it.

See, Miranda’s looking for a nanny, to help watch the kids and clean the house during the week. Daniel volunteers his services, which is actually a good idea, but Miranda says she’ll think about it, which we ALL know means no. I DO NOT like Miranda, even if I understand the initial reasons for the divorce. She’s being especially spiteful, and it’s not a good look.

Daniel’s stupid idea, though, is to change the phone number on the ad for the nanny, which Miranda shows him before she takes the kids. Instead, he calls her number, and pretends to be various terrible applicants, until finally supplying his own applicant: the completely fictional Euphegenia Doubtfire (Daniel Hillard).

Daniel plays Mrs. Doubtfire as an elderly British woman, and a seasoned nanny in her day. Which is why it’s weird to me that, when he does to Frank and Jack to help him make an elaborate disguise as Mrs. Doubtfire, that they go through various other impressions and get-ups. Which, yes, is goddamn hilarious, but also makes NO SENSE, given that they’ve already established her character to Miranda. Funny, but nonsensical.

But, regardless, Euphegenis Doubtfire comes into being, and introduces herself to Miranda and the kids. Mrs. Doubtfire is exactly what Miranda’s looking for, although the kids aren’t exactly overjoyed, ESPECIALLY the oldest, Lydia. Also, during this first meeting, Miranda openly bad-mouths Daniel in front of the kids, in just the WORST fuckin’ way. I genuinely dislike Miranda A LOT. Again, the divorce was certainly justified, but I REALLY don’t like her. Daniel loves his kids, and they’re HIS kids, TOO. Stop using them as weapons against him, OOOOOOOOOOOH I DON’T LIKE MIRANDA

Anyway, that evening, after she’s officially been hired by Miranda, Mrs. Doubtfire heads home, only to find court liason Mrs. Sellner waiting to speak with Daniel. After a litany of puns, and a humorous changing scene, Daniel accidentally throws the Mrs. Doubtfire mask out of the window, and is forced to improvise through equally humorous circumstances. Hence, the above meringue mask scene. Has anybody tried that, by the way? Could that work as a groundbreaking beauty technique? Or would the sugar just feed the skin bacteria and give you acne? Genuinely curious.

Now going between his job as Daniel and the nanny job as Doubtfire, Daniel’s not doing too badly for himself. The nanny job begins, and Mrs. Doubtfire IMMEDIATELY contrasts with Daniel, creating a disciplinarian atmosphere in place of Daniel’s formerly loosey-goosey attitude. Which is interesting, and it works! I mean, it’s not how I would parent, but it does work. Doubtfire makes the kids to their homework, rather than watch TV, and then attempts to make dinner. Instead, though, the dinner’s ruined, and Daniel orders takeout and makes it LOOK like homemade food. And it looks good, too! Daniel’s full of hidden talents.

After dinner, as Mrs. Doubtfire’s leaving, Lydia apologizes for backtalking her earlier, and thanks her for making her mom happy with everything she did that evening. he also says that she’s still a bit messed up about her dad being gone. And yeah, it’s sweet-but-sad. 

Going forward (and in a montage set to Aerosmith’s Dude Looks Like a Lady), Mrs. Doubtfire takes care of the family, and Daniel even betters himself to become a better Mrs. Doubtfire. Which...to be honest, Daniel REALLY should’ve done this before. I get that he needed the pressure of losing the kids to do this, but...look, Daniel really wasn’t that responsible of a parent, and the fact that THIS is how he learns to be so is...not great. Like, here’s an example, OK: take Donald Trump.

Yeah, I know, what’s this politics doing in my peanut butter? And WOW, that reference is older than me, but anyway. Let’s say that, in two years, a new politician comes on the scene, and her name is Karyn Walldottir. She has somewhat centrist views, and behaves in a way that’s inclusive to the majority, and backs up her claims and promises with evidence (at least true enough for us to suspend our disbelief). This is, of course, Donald Trump disguised as a woman in order to gain custody of the United States of America again. Naturally.

Karyn Walldottir gets elected in 2024, and all of her policies are markedly different from Trump’s and Biden’s, but leaning closer to Biden in progressive standpoints (assuming that that worked for him come 2024). While Trump is doing this specifically to be president again, he ends up revising his personal policies, and being a better person and president for the country. A literal impossibility, I know. But suspend your disbelief to ask this question:

WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T HE DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

OK, now that that dumbass (and mildly horrifying) thought process is concluded, let’s get back to Mrs. Doubtfire. In the process of Mrs. Doubtfire’s ingratiation with the family, Miranda’s been dating Stu, whom Mrs. Doubtfire subtly insults when they meet. And yeah, Daniel’s being a little petty here, but it makes a bit of sense at least.

That night, after an accidental intrusion by Chris when Mrs. Doubtfire is going to the bathroom, Daniel’s basically forced to tell Chris and Lydia his little secret, which Lydia’s happy about, but Chris is understandably weirded out about. But, they agree to keep the secret from their mom and younger sister.

At his OTHER job, delivering film reels from a TV station, he witnesses the filming of an extremely boring kids educational TV show, and comments as such to another man watching. As he quickly learns, this is the owner of the station, Jonathan Lundy (Robert Prosky), on whom Daniel makes a good impression.

In the meantime, Mrs. Doubtfire has a talk with Miranda about their love lives, real and fictional. Daniel realizes how badly Miranda had been suffering in their marriage, which she never told him because...well, he never seemed to take anything seriously. Which is entirely fair...but this is why Miranda’s a tricky-ass character. She’s got two sides: there’s the justified caring mother and strong woman, and there’s the PETTY ASSHOLE who genuinely doesn’t care about Daniel or his feelings AT ALL. Jesus.

And Stu...look, Stu is LITERALLY a Gary Stu, who’s mostly perfect. Sure, he’s not always been that way, but he definitely is now! He’s responsible, wealthy, in love with Miranda AND her kids. And yeah, at a country club that he’s a member of (OF COURSE he is), he privately badmouth Daniel in front of Mrs. Doubtfire, calling him a loser, and...yeah, he’s not really unjustified in that statement. Fact of the matter is, Stu is barely even a plot device.

Meanwhile, in Daniel’s day job, he finds himself alone in the studio, where the toy dinosaurs from the TV show are still sitting on the table. He plays with them, gives them voices, sings some songs, and impresses Mr. Lundy, who’s there in the shadows after all that. He’s impressed, and invites Daniel to dinner to talk about a potential future show at the network.

But then, it’s also Miranda’s birthday coming up, and Stu’s holding a dinner for her, to which Mrs. Doubtfire is invited. Trouble is, it’s at the OH FUCK IT. YOU know what this is. It’s at the same time and place as the Mr. Lund meeting yaddayaddayadda LOOK. We ALL know how this is going to end. It’s the GODDAMN LIAR REVEALED TROPE AGAIN. And here’s the thing:

I FUGGIN’ HAAAAAATE THE LIAR REVEALED TROPE

You know, that thing in movies (especially family movies of the ‘90s) where somebody starts off a situation with a lie, they get deeper and deeper into that lie, grow close to people under false pretenses, and then OH NO! THE LIAR IS REVEALED! And everybody’s angry and/or sad, the liar slumps off, defeated and broken, but then realizes the error of his ways, while everybody else realizes the same thing, and he comes back to vindicate himself, and is welcomed back with open arms. And it introduces unneeded tension AND I HAVE ALWAYS FUCKING HATED IT.

Let’s list the examples, shall we? A Bug’s Life, Aladdin, Mulan, The Road to El Dorado, Chicken Run, How to Train Your Dragon, Klaus, Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, Megamind (SUBVERSIVE MY ASS), Over the Hedge, Rango, Toy Story, Steven Universe (the whole Pearl/Sardonyx arc, which went on for WAY too long), the list goes on and fucking on. And I GODDAMN HATE IT. Not to say it can’t be done well. Disney actually usually does a pretty good job with it, and Dreamworks uses it A LOT, but almost always pretty well. But sometimes...GOD. Either way, it’s still used FAR too fucking much. And look. Here’s another one. Joy.

Look, at this point...I will freely admit that I'm biased against this trope, but it’s also obvious where this is headed. Basically, Daniel switches back and forth between the dinner with the family, and the dinner with Mr. Lundy. With Mr. Lundy, he gets absolutely SMASHED. Great. Great decision, Daniel.

So, yeah, Mrs. Doubtfire’s also smashed, which is pretty goddamn apparent to them all. At this point, I’m wondering why Daniel, as Mrs. Doubtfire, didn’t just say she was sick as hell, and had to go home. Or, considering the fact that Daniel proposes her as a show idea regardless, the switch wasn’t even necessary! And that means that none of what’s about to happen, happens. Or, here’s a crazy thought, maybe Daniel shouldn’t have POISONED STU’S FOOD WITH CAYENNE PEPPER THAT HE’S ALLERGIC TO! 

YEAH! Because that causes Stu to go into anaphylactic shock for a hot sec, causing him to choke. Mrs. Doubtfire does the right thing and gives him the Heimlich maneuver, and in the process, SURPRISE! IT’S BEEN DANIEL ALL ALONG! BUH BUH BUHHHHH DA DA DA DAAAAA DA

Yeah, so Miranda is understandably ENRAGED by this revelation, and it’s all over. Daniel represents himself in court at the custody hearing, but the judge deems his “lifestyle” dangerous for children. Which...yikes, Judge, that statement didn’t age well AT FUCKING ALL. But, given Daniel’s admitted stupidity with this whole idea, he’s not wrong about the dangerous part. But, I have to say, Daniel’s speech in his own defense is nice...although he also says he’s addicted to his children, so let’s throw a second yikes on there for good measure.

The speech moves Miranda...but not enough to prevent Daniel has his custody stripped away from him! GOD THEY BOTH SUUUUUUUUCK. Daniel’s a broken man, and Miranda and the kids are similarly broken without him and Mrs. Doubtfire. However...Daniel’s career isn’t broken AT ALL, as Mrs. Doubtfire is now a kid’s show host! Yeah! And she’s a hit! And again, it brings me to wonder why Daniel DIDN’T APPLY HIS OBVIOUS TALENTS LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE

Realizing that she made a mistake, she goes to the set during the filming of a show. She congratulates him on the show, and he replies by stating how broken he is now! Thanks, Miranda! Well, after an argument, and after Miranda sees how badly she’s messed up someone she used to care for, they come to an agreement: joint custody. FINALLY GODDAMN IT

And good, because I don’t want them back together. I have to give this film props for that: they acknowledge that these two are NOT good for each other, and they deliver a message in the end: families are families, no matter how they’re shaped. One mom, one dad, uncle or aunt, grandparents, adoption, two separated or divorced parents...oh, also, two dads or two moms. Yeah, that isn’t said in Mrs. Doubtfire’s final monologue, which is odd considering Daniel’s brother and his life partner...but it’s also kid’s TV in the ‘90s, so I guess that sadly makes sense. And with that, and their new family arrangement, Daniel takes his kids on an afternoon out, as himself.

...Look. That’s Mrs. Doubtfire, yaddayaddayadda LOOK. I don’t dislike this movie. In fact, here: have this mini-Review:

Cast and Acting - 9/10: Good, although Brosnan was a little stiff.

Plot and Writing - 5/10: It’s an idiot plot, what can I say? It’s actually based off of a book, which was a surprise to me, but it was adapted by Randi Mayem Singer and Leslie Dixon, and...eh. Still an idiot plot.

Directing and Cinematography - 8/10: It’s Chris Columbus, you get what you get. Definitely has that Home Alone flair to it.

Production and Art Design - 8/10: I mean, yeah, the Doubtfire disguise was good most of the time, but...I dunno, I could still tell it was Robin. But, still, it was good. Took 4 hours of makeup, fun fact.

Music and Editing - 8/10: Music by Howard Shore (ooh, Howard Shore!) was pretty nice, especially the ending theme. Editing by Raja Gosnell was...RAJA GOSNELL???

OH GOD. Yeah, OK, I see what happened here. Also, I didn’t know he was an editor! I just know him as the director of the Scooby-Doo films, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, The Smurfs films, Big Momma’s...

...OK, no, I am not doing Big Momma’s House OR the Madea movies. THE TROPE-BUCK STOPS HERE! I am moving on to something else! But, of course, I have to sum this up in a Review. See you there!

[lovelyirony]

No Shelf-Awareness

I’m just trying to work out these cards I’ve been dealt -Rumour, Chloe Howl

Bucky doesn’t necessarily like meetings. He views them as a waste of time, and they could just as easily give him a paper with all the information. Clint says it’s so if they have questions they ask them there instead of making a mistake on the field.

“They allow mistakes?” Bucky asks, as blandly as can be.

“You make me so sad on so many levels,” Clint says, clapping his shoulder. “Yes, you’re allowed to make mistakes. Why the hell do you think Steve is allowed on-field?”

Bucky laughs at that one.

The meeting in question is about Iron Man. The red and gold suit with a man inside of it, apparently. SHIELD wants his identity but more importantly, the technology.

“If you haven’t found anything else like it, what makes you think that he wants to share it?” Bucky asks. “Just let it happen.”

“We can’t just ‘let’ this happen, Barnes,” Fury says, voice steady and eye trained on him.

“Why not?” Bucky asks. “He’s taking care of criminals on a corporate level. We can’t touch that without bringing more attention to agents.”

“Which is why we’re integrating,” Fury says.

“Not fast enough,” Bucky says. “He doesn’t need to gain trust. With integrating, there’s possibility of a double agent. They get paid off and it’s more than what you promise for a salary.”

“I assure you our agents aren’t that low.”

“Oh and you kept them all from Hydra?” Bucky snaps. “Because as I recall, Rumlow was pretty damn happy to be one of Pierce’s lapdogs, so—”

“Enough,” Fury snaps. “Enough from you, Barnes.”

“We could be dealing more directly with the people we have that actually need to be stopped instead of a damned robot who happens to like taking down illegal corporations that were on our to-do list anyway,” Bucky snipes back. “I’m leaving.”

“Don’t bother expecting yourself on the next mission,” Fury calls after him.

He gets a nice and shiny metal finger in response.

Bucky then decides to treat himself to a trip to the bookstore. He’s already read the last book twice, and he needs a new one.

It’s a Friday, and kids are getting out of school. He pays them little mind as he walks with purpose, taking note of possible threats, a new donut shop

The bookstore smells nice, like coffee and sugar. Bucky wanders through it, keeping an eye out for the owner.

He finds him huddled at a table with a group of teenagers, explaining some sort of math problem, laughing at one’s joke. He has glasses perched on the end of his nose, giving him quite an amusing and cute appearance. Bucky smiles to himself a little as he disappears into the stacks, looking through the new arrivals. He finds two particularly interesting ones.

“That one is really good,” comes a voice from behind him. Bucky turns, seeing Tony. He looks nice today. He’s wearing bright yellow shoes. “I like it.”

Bucky takes another look at the cover.

“What else can you recommend? I’m kind of a fast reader.”

(He is not a fast reader. Well, not really. But if you stay up all night only reading because you have too many nightmares, then it counts. Technically.)

Tony puts about four or five books into his arms before he realizes that he hasn’t checked prices or anything.

“Trust me, this is fine,” Bucky says, grinning. “Thanks, Tony.”

“No problem…huh. I just realized I don’t actually know your name.”

Tony does, in fact, know James Buchanan Barnes’ name. Quite well, in fact. He’s the one who Hydra trained to kill people and attempt to kill Howard and Maria Stark, who are still living. They moved to Italy, by the way. No, Tony doesn’t care. Just makes it easier to break into the New York home on occasion, fix up the old workshop.

(He can’t use his own apartment as a base for Iron Man. That would be utterly ridiculous.)

But for this purpose, he does actually need to learn Bucky’s name.

“I’m Bucky,” he says.

“Parents hated you, did they?” Tony teases.

“Only slightly less than my idiot friend who gave it to me,” Bucky says, grinning.

“Idiot friends are like that,” Tony says, smiling. “Well, do you want to sit down and read for a bit? Chairs are open, if you’d like.”

“Sure. Mind if I order a coffee?”

“Of course,” Tony says. “What do you want?”

Bucky did not know that there was more coffee. Well…correction. He knew that there was more to coffee than black. There had to be, obviously. He just wasn’t expecting the menu to be so extensive. He looked at it for a few moments while Tony waited expectantly.

“Um, wow. I don’t drink a lot of coffee, but um, what would you recommend?”

“I personally love the lavender latte we’ve been trying out,” Tony says. “I’ll make you one and if you don’t like it, I’ll replace it free of charge.”

Bucky not drinking a lot of coffee is a lie. Steve joked that he needed a tank of coffee a day to even function. Bucky just usually took it with a bit of sugar and pronounced it good.

Now this was amazing. Bucky loved the drink, loved how different the flavor was. He could drink about twelve more of these if he really wanted to.

“Tony, this is amazing,” Bucky says, expressing pure delight over it. “How do you make coffee this good?”

“You act as if you’ve never had a latte,” Tony says, laughing. (It’s not acting.) “But here, let me explain…”

Bucky could hear Tony Jarvis explain things for ages. He’s really good at it, like he’s used to explaining how things go all the time. Bucky finds it relaxing.

It is at this point that a kid in a t-shirt comes up.

“Hey, Mr. Jarvis—”

“Call me Tony, Pete,” Tony responds. “What’s next on the homework agenda?”

“We have to write a persuasive essay and since you told us you took marketing, we figured you could help.”

“Not sure how much help I’ll be, but sure,” Tony says. “Bucky, I’ll talk to you later. Enjoy the books. If you finish any while you’re here, just put them back on the re-shelving cart by the door, okay?”

“Yes, Sir!” Bucky says, throwing a mock salute. Tony snorts, saluting lazily back.

Bucky gets sucked into the first book. He relates to how out-of-place the main character feels. He doesn’t notice the sky getting dark until he sips his coffee and it’s cold that he looks up.

Tony has been staring at him for the better part of an hour. Not that he knows that. He just knows that Tony has perhaps been gazing for a minute or two.

“Oh god, please tell me I’m not staying past close,” Bucky says.

“You’re not, don’t worry,” Tony says, laughing. “You would’ve known if you were. No, there’s thirty minutes more left, if you want to keep reading. No rush, sweetheart.”

Bucky goes back to his book with a nod, hoping that Tony doesn’t catch his cheeks going bright red. He remembers being called sweetheart before, but this is drastically different from 1934 for all the right and wrong reasons. (Right because finally he can tell a guy he’s cute without getting mauled or having to whisper it near-six-feet-under. Wrong because Tony is running a business and Bucky met him a day ago.)

Tony shifts nervously around the shop. He had planned on closing early, getting into the suit with Rhodey and doing some recon.

Judging from the texts from Rhodey, so was he:

Bitch where tf are you. Stoopid.

Well excuse me honeypie, but I got held up. A customer is still here!

Kick them out tf????? r u on crack?

No you stupid-ass—listen. I just can’t make it

Ohhhh this is your bucky-boy. This is hilarious. Yeah leave the store open until he leaves. Idk why he isn’t on the roster with the rest of the Avengers this week. Should be. Damned good guy. lmk if he’s a booty call 

I won’t talk to you for a week.

Thank god!

Tony huffs, clicking his phone off and returning to wiping down the counters and rearranging the records. Bucky walks up, putting the books at the register.

“I didn’t realize people still played records,” Bucky says, looking at the room adjacent.

“I’ll make sure that you get to play some next time you’re here,” Tony says. “But let me ring you up, okay?”

Bucky hands out the amount owed and sticks three dollars in the tip jar. Tony thanks him and smiles, and Bucky thinks he’ll have to start separating his bills more so that he can see that smile more often.

-

And then, of course, he gets a call from his phone.

“You’re needed,” Natasha says. “Come over. Now.”

“What happened to me being banned?”

“You’re a sharpshooter and a good weapons analyst. Fury would be stupid to reject that. Get here. Now.”

She hangs up. Always keeps it short and sweet, that Romanov. Bucky sighs, figuring out if he has enough time to go to his apartment and stash the books, or if he’ll have to leave them at headquarters.

He has to leave them at headquarters. He gets a look from Steve and Clint.

“Find a new hobby?” Steve asks.

“Of a sort,” Bucky says. “Got interrupted. What’s the plan?”

“Both War Machine and Iron Man are attacking Hammer Industries. Again.” Clint says, rolling his eyes. “You know, just when you thought they would switch it up. This is the third time in a row. Third time’s the charm and all that…”

Bucky doesn’t trust this for a wide variety of reasons. 1.) Iron Man is smarter than all of them, as is War Machine. 2.) Three times? In a row? Something has to be going down.

“What has Hammer Industries been doing?”

“Other than building weapons and government contracts? Nothing out of the ordinary,” Natasha says.

“Government contract is a big deal ever since Stark Industries lost out,” Bruce adds. “CEO—Pepper Potts—decreed no more weapons. Not a very popular move on her part.” Yeah, Bucky could see that. His best is from Stark Industries, but he understands. Iron Man had released evidence about SI’s involvement in shady under-the-table deals, all at the direction of Obadiah Stane.

“So, why go after a government contract?” Bucky muses. “They know something we don’t.”

“That doesn’t matter right now, we’re getting both of them under custody,” Hill says from the cockpit.

It does matter, his conscious whispers, or else you’d still be staring at Tony from the bookstore. His focus returns to the books at his side. He didn’t notice it before, but the bookstore has its own stamp that it gives the inside covers. It’s cute. He must have stared too long, because Steve nudges his arm.

“I’m glad you found a place you like,” he says. “Where is it?”

For some unknown reason, Bucky doesn’t want to tell anybody.

“Just a bookshop,” he says, closing the cover. “Checked it out before coming here. Around the neighborhood.”

That’s all he says before the mission is engaged and he’s strapped with enough gear to kill a pack of bears. He would much rather be reading, but that’s not what he gets.

-

“Took you long enough,” Rhodey says over the mic. “You and Bucky have fun between the stacks?”

“Nothing of the sort,” Tony responds. “I cannot believe you would accuse me of impropriety, honey. Honestly.”

“I have literally seen you strip on a Tuesday morning because you had too many mimosas and Pepper wanted to see if you actually would.”

“Details darling, let’s focus on the now. What has our dear friend Justin been up to?”

“For one, his online security and the regular security absolutely suck. I already am printing out the evidence where I’m at. I think all we need is to destroy some stuff and then—”

Rhodey gets knocked aside by red, white, and blue.

Tony groans. Figures that they would catch onto the pattern. Tony knew he should’ve waited, but he didn’t want to get Hammer spooked and up and running again. They needed him out of the way, maybe introduce a better CEO or hell, a better company—

“Iron Man, stand down,” comes the loudspeaker of the jet.

“Fat chance,” he mutters, zooming away from one of Hawkeye’s projectile arrows. Seriously, they could have so much better range if he built them. Unfortunately for him, SHIELD apparently wants him on a silver platter, so that won’t be a nice future with the company.

War Machine is already leading the heavy hitters away. The hardest one to deal with is usually Thor, who doesn’t always have the most accurate shot but definitely doesn’t entirely miss. Especially with the hammer having some sort of recall, it’s difficult to avoid. Tony’s just happy that Winter Soldier is off the roster and away from—

Son of a bitch, no he’s not. He can see the arm from here, and curses.

“Platypus, we have a gleaming problem.”

“I thought he was off the roster!”

“Apparently Fury signed his permission slip for this field trip,” he replies. “What do we need to destroy? I have an idea.”

“A shipment of guns. I don’t recommend going anywhere near it, but of course you will not heed my advice.”

“Be a dear and lead the Widow in closer? I think I can do something.”

Winter Soldier is having a fun time. Usually the missions are a one-hit-wonder, so to speak. Iron Man and War Machine move and actually anticipate the shots, which is all sorts of fun. He just hopes that Steve can’t see his grin, or he’ll be in hot water for it. (Fun sucker.)

“Barnes do you have the shot!” Nat yells.

“I’ve had the damn shot, what the fuck do you want me to do against iron?” he yells back.

“It’s titanium-alloy, but I understand,” Iron Man says smoothly, touching down as lightly as a ballerina. “SHIELD not do the intelligence testing anymore? I understand. If they knew Hawkeye was on the team without it…”

Bucky wants to laugh. He really, really does. But he doesn’t. “Why are you at Hammer? What’s your game?”

“I’m surprised you ask,” Tony says, blinking. His helmet tilts to one side. Usually, no one at SHIELD asks any sort of question. This is…new. “Hammer’s selling under the table. War Machine and I are handling it.”

“You didn’t tell SHIELD about this, did you?”

“There’s a reason SHIELD wants me in handcuffs but the suit left to their own devices,” he says. “They’re not as trustworthy as you think, hot-shot.”

And then Iron Man dodges a blast, and the debris lands on the containers.

The company’s own fault. Clever. Bucky has to hand it to whoever is behind the mask, he’s smart.

Iron Man does a mock salute.

“Until next time, losers!” War Machine calls out.

“Do you think they know that War Machine has a tracking device?” Natasha asks. Clint shakes his head.

“Not sure. Probably not since we’ve been focusing on Iron Man. We’ll have to wait and see.”

Bucky turns, thinking. Iron Man had said that they’re not as trustworthy as they seem. What did he mean by that? How so?

-

Rhodey isn’t a fucking clown. Of course he knows they put a tracker somewhere on his suit. It’s recording audio, which Jarvis knows. Rhodey puts a finger to his lips as they touch down. Tony gets the hint immediately, taps out a message for Jarvis to scan and debug.

“Pest Control Initiative working now…” comes the smooth, lilting accent of Jarvis.

Once they’re out of harm’s way, Rhodey cracks a grin.

“Think they’ll like that?”

“Should fry the system for them for a little bit,” Tony says. “Which leads into me getting in. Thanks for putting up with that whole mess.”

“You owe me a century-old bottle of whiskey for Black Widow.”

“Get in line behind Pepper,” Tony says. “She’ll be at the cabinet on your left.” Rhodey snorts as they touch down at Stark Industries. Pepper is there with a raised eyebrow.

“Evening gentlemen,” she says. “Drinks are on the counter. Fruit juice, no alcohol. It’s a Thursday.”

“Thursday is Friday is Saturday,” Rhodey snarks, taking the glass anyway. “How was work today, Pep?”

“Horrible,” she groans, leaning back on her barstool. “Asshats keep trying to tell me what to do when it’s my company, technically speaking. Tony, how is your bookshop?”

“We’re getting more and more people in,” Tony says. “Record sales are nice, coffee is good too. I need to come up with a new idea for an iced coffee flavor. I’m coming up with nothing.”

“Hazelnut usually works well if you need something in a pinch,” she returns. “Did you manage to get into their system?”

“Success,” Jarvis cuts in smoothly. “I am well-integrated into their system; they have no idea I am there. Of course.”

Jarvis is a bit proud of that particular thing. Then again, he gets a big head when he’s successful.

“Good for you,” Rhodey says. “What can you tell us?”

“Employees have a shocking amount of free time and have made a donut tower.”

“The business, J,” Tony says.

“I am sorry, I was following your ever-amazing guidance for protocol,” Jarvis remarks. “SHIELD has an unprecedented number of holes in security. Files have gone missing. There are a few members that go on trips and check in at the ill-advised times.”

“What does that mean?” Pepper asks.

“When Peggy was running the show everyone had to check in at her time,” Tony says. “She also talked personally about it with everyone or assigned people to supervise if she couldn’t. It was more reliant on people and what you saw. With Fury, times became more technological. Not a bad thing, but not a fantastic thing either. With technology you could claim there was an issue checking in, or the computer lagged. It happens, and you can say that every once in a while unless if you’re me.”

“Because you built most of the systems,” Rhodey says. “So we know you’re at least decently smart.” Tony pokes his tongue out.

“Point is, a lot of the older members of SHIELD either say they didn’t get it, or get tech support to fix it later. Using their inability as an ability, most likely. Clever. I’m just wondering how far it goes.”

“We’ll find out in time,” Rhodey says. “Maybe when you take Bucky out for drinks, you can seduce him into giving you information.”

Pepper stills.

“Tony, you did what?!”

“Um…” Tony glares at Rhodey. “He kind of lives by my bookstore and doesn’t know I’m there? If that makes it better? I should go, I have inventory—”

“Stay,” Pepper says. “We are working on this and I am making sure that you don’t give away your secret because you fall in love.”

“I won’t fall in love!”

“Tall, dark, mysterious, and reads books? Please, I’m surprised I don’t see drool coming out of your mouth,” Pepper says. “Rhodey, did you know about this?”

“Yes. I didn’t tell you because it was funny.”

Pepper huffs. Tony sinks into a comfy lounge chair. It’s gonna be a long night.

[myuntoldstory]

Mystic Messenger | Seashell

AO3 | FF.net

Third prompt of Jihyun Week: Fate | Ocean

This is not an entry to Jihyun Week 2020. I'm basically just trying to finish the series I created in AO3.

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: V | Jihyun Kim/Main Character (Named)

Warning: N/A

Word Count: 8, 169

Summary: Set six months after Judge or Forgive.

The whole RFA travel to Jumin's beach house for an epic summer day! It's all fun and games until Jihyun sees Lux in a cute bikini for the first time. Now he has to deal with the jealousy and possessiveness that overcomes him.

Whatever will he do?

Seashell

“How is everyone getting there?”

Jihyun glances at Lux and then back to the road. They're on the highway, driving to one of the Han family's beachside vacation houses. The sun climbs ever higher with the arrival of summer. So are the temperatures. Almost everyone in the country is scrambling to go somewhere cool. They're no different. The drive is long, but Jihyun doesn't mind. With Lux beside him, time will cease to exist.

"As you know the original plan was to go together," he answers.

"Yes, Jumin offered his cars."

"Right. But at the last minute Saeyoung decided to drive."

"Ah! So it's him and Saeran together."

"Yoosung and Hyun too."

"Oh?"

"Yes. They all decided to go together," he continues. "Yoosung always enjoys riding in Saeyoung's cars. As for Hyun... well, he made it clear he'd rather die of heatstroke than travel with Jumin."

"Of course," Lux laughs.

Jihyun smiles uneasily. Last night's chats were... particularly lively. Zen's candour about spending time in Jumin's company is always something to behold. While the children found it hilarious, Jihyun was glad Lux had gone to sleep. She didn't have to witness the profanities and insults flying around. Unfortunately, he couldn't stop her reading the whole thing over breakfast. At least she found it funny.

"Anyway," he says, "Jumin and Jaehee went ahead to set up."

"Which leaves us two."

They stop at a red light. Jihyun glances at Lux again. She beams back at him and his affection for her grows about a hundred times. He returns her smile and pets her hair. If they aren't in a car right now and he's not driving she'd already be in his arms. Within him she inspires so much love—one that's gentle, warm, and safe. It fills him to the brim, bringing with it happiness that he's still learning to understand.

"Are you okay being stuck with me?" he jokes.

She reaches out and squeezes his wrist gently as the lights turn green.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Jihyun drives up the street leading to Jumin's house. He catches Lux's awestruck expression and smiles. On either side of the street are houses of varying extravagance. They sit behind gardens so lush and intricate it would make a landscape artist cry. Though this area is public, the community screams exclusivity. With the rich and powerful gathered in one place, no one dares to challenge their demand for privacy.

It's all nostalgic for Jihyun. Most of the houses in the area had not changed at all. The Han family have many, many vacation houses in the country and overseas. He's fortunate enough that they invite him to a few. This particular one was one he frequented with Jumin when they were younger. It's been years since he was last here. Memories of his childhood assail him the closer they get to the house.

“Is that—no way, is that Jumin’s?”

Jihyun doesn’t have to look at Lux to know what she’s referring to.

“Yes,” he answers.

“Wow…” she breathes. “It’s the biggest around here.”

“It’s to assert dominance,” he quips.

Lux laughs as he goes up the driveway and around the house to the garage. There are staff members already waiting for them. They're quick to shuffle to the car as soon as he turns the engine off. After assuring the couple that they'll sort out everything, the staff ushers them inside. Jihyun says many words of gratitude before taking Lux's hand and leading her up the stairs.

“You know your way around,” she remarks.

“I have been here before.”

“Ah, right; of course.”

Her tone of recognition makes him smile. He squeezes her hand.

"When we were children they'd always ask us where we'd like to go during the summer. We always chose this house. You can say this was our playground."

"Only you two?"

"Only us two."

“And… how did you amuse yourselves?”

"Oh… many things."

"What about games?"

"Oh, yes. Absolutely. We played hide-and-seek... tag... puzzles... sometimes we invented our own games. Sometimes... well, sometimes we just lie on the floor and discuss life's fascinating questions."

"What kind of questions?"

He grins at her.

"Like... does clean sand really squeak when you step on it?"

"And does it?" Lux teases.

"It sure does."

"Amazing!"

They both laugh.

"Most of the time we relaxed," he continues. "We're not the sort to be rambunctious. We read books, debated, discussed current affairs.. normal things—well, normal for us."

"That sounds calmer than the summers I had as a child."

Jihyun kisses her hand.

"Now that, I'd love to hear about."

He expects a story, because Lux tells him everything, but instead, she smiles... vague and mysterious.

"Maybe next time—"

"Finally."

Jumin's voice, regal and imposing, reverberate as they enter the living room. He stands by the double doors leading to the beach. Jaehee, meanwhile, stands beside him. She concentrates on her phone, but at Jumin's word she looks up at them and smiles. Finally, curled on the couch is Elizabeth the 3rd. She lifts her head at the new arrivals.

"Hello!" Lux exclaims.

She rushes ahead to hug Jaehee. Jihyun approaches Jumin, exchanging a brief, but tight hug with him. It's a rare sight to see them wearing anything other than corporate suits. They look young in their loose, casual attires. They still exude an air of unapproachability, but at least they're not as intimidating.

“Hello, beautiful,” Lux coos at Elizabeth, gently petting her head.

Elizabeth purrs in greeting.

"Where is everyone?" Jihyun says.

Jumin and Jaehee exchange looks.

"Saeran called," Jaehee replies.

"Everything okay?" Lux says.

Jumin sighs in exasperation.

"Apparently, they're taking the scenic route," he says. "It is worth noting that while Saeran talked Yoosung and Zen yelled about being lost."

"I'm not surprised," Lux chuckles.

"No," he agrees.

"Well... we'll wait for them, then," Jihyun says.

With a nod, Jumin opens the doors. Cool sea air breezes in, whipping Jihyun's hair in every direction. He breathes deep, tasting salt at the back of his throat. This is a relief compared to the stifling humidity of the city. Beyond the doors is the beach with its white sand and green-blue waters. Sunlight pours over the gorgeous view, bathing everything in white-gold light.

“Do as you please,” Jumin says. "The staff will serve lunch later.”

“Great!” Lux exclaims, clapping her hands. “I’m dying for a swim—come on, Jaehee!”

Lux takes Jaehee’s hand, but Jaehee hesitates, darting an uncertain glance at Jumin. Sensing his employee’s stare, Jumin meets her eyes and crosses his arms. There’s an impassive expression on his face that says nothing and yet everything all at once. Jaehee looks back at Lux and winces apologetically.

“I still have a few things to deal with,” she says.

“Nonsense! It’s your time to relax—right, Jumin?”

Jihyun watches the exchange with a smile. There’s determination underneath Lux’s playful question. He discovered that they're similar in that regard. While their expressions say one or nothing, it's different to what they feel. By Jumin's non-expression Jihyun knows he wants to keep Jaehee on the clock. Lux, however, will not accept that. Jihyun sides with his beloved in this one. One should enjoy their time off and Jaehee needs a break more than any of them.

"You can leave the rest for later," Jihyun interjects.

Jumin glances at him and then sighs.

"Fine," he says.

“Thank you, sir!” Jaehee’s own beam reveals her relief.

“Good,” Lux says. “Let’s go change, Jaehee!”

Slipping his hands in his pockets, Jihyun watches over Lux with a smile. When they're gone he appraises the living room, once again feeling nostalgic. Everything remains the same... except for the furniture. He crouches before Elizabeth and gently pets her. He remembers Jumin and himself as children, playing and talking together. In this house they built a solid friendship in the face of those who only sought to use them.

“Good girl, Elizabeth,” he says.

Elizabeth meows sleepily.

“Nothing’s changed,” he continues, standing up.

“The furniture has,” Jumin replies, sidling next to him.

“Well, yes,” Jihyun laughs. “I mean in general…”

“Oh… yes, nothing has changed.”

Jihyun lays his hand on the couch and turns to his friend with a smile.

“It’s been years since we’ve been here,” he continues.

“Hmm.”

“When was the last time? I’m afraid I’ve forgotten.”

“It was the month before our finals.”

“Ah—yes. That’s right. To study.”

“And to avoid our fathers’ nagging.”

“And that.”

Jumin returns his smile, but it vanishes.

“When we stopped coming here father turned this house into his love nest.”

Jihyun lifts his hand. “Oh.”

“I made sure the place was properly cleaned.”

“… Good to know.”

A pause passes between them. Jihyun cracks first and laughs. Soon after Jumin laughs along with him. The crashing sound of the waves drowns the sound of their amusement. Still, it reverberates in the living room, permeating the walls with life. Now, the place feels a little more like the home it used to be.

“How is uncle anyway?” Jihyun asks. “Where is he this summer?”

“US,” Jumin answers. “His new woman wants to go to Beverly Hills.”

Jumin's displeasure is palpable. Jihyun pats his best friend's shoulder. Upon hearing footsteps he looks over his shoulder... and his jaw almost drops. Lux and Jaehee emerge from the hallways in their swimsuits. This is the first time he's ever seen her in one and... God, he is not prepared.

She wears a polka-dotted bikini in a deep sapphire colour. The top seems to be a tiny version of a cropped blouse with off-shoulder puffed sleeves. The bottoms are in a skirt style, but much shorter. Draped over her shoulders is a white lace garment. It's so sheer that it leaves nothing to the imagination. With her hair loose around her shoulders in gentle waves, Jihyun can't help thinking that she's... cute.

Devastatingly cute.

An unfamiliar emotion rises within him the more he gazes at her. It's uncomfortable, making him want to squirm. Underneath all the love and attraction he feels is... anxiety and possessiveness. She's too cute. Under normal circumstances, she already exudes a charming kind of allure no one can ignore. The swimsuit exacerbates that. If it's obvious to him... then it's obvious for everyone else too.

And… he doesn’t know if he likes that.

Still, he musters a smile and offers his hand to her.

"Look at you," he says.

With a shy smile, she slips her hand in his.

"What do you think?" she says, hesitant.

"Me?" he says, surprised.

She nods.

“Let me see."

He twirls her around—an action he regrets because she looks even more beautiful up close. She takes his breath away. When she faces him again he adjusts her shawl-like cardigan, making sure it covers her. Upon realising what he's doing, he stops. He senses nervous anticipation from her.

"Very cute," he says, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

She beams, sending butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"That makes me happy!"

Her words stun him... so does the way she glows as she looks at herself.

"It's been a long time since I've swum so none of my old swimsuits fit anymore. I saw this while I was shopping and loved it. I thought it looked good, but I can never be too sure, you know?"

"Trust me, my love; it suits you."

And it does—it suits her too well. A significant part of him wants to take her back to their room and have her change to something more... covered. In fact, he's more than willing to buy her a one-piece suit... but he can't ignore her happy smile. She loves this particular one and he shouldn't take that from her. But why does he want to? He can't understand why he's agonising over other people seeing her like this... why he wants to be the only one to see her in this outfit.

"Is this where I tell you two to get a room or something?"

Jihyun jumps at Jumin's flat question. With reddening cheeks, he realises he's been too absorbed with Lux. She's blushing too, but unlike his embarrassment, she sticks her tongue out at Jumin. Meanwhile, Jaehee stands between them, looking like she wants to be anywhere else.

"We're off," Lux says, turning back to Jihyun.

“Be careful,” he says.

She rises on her toes and he leans down so she can kiss his cheek. After that, she and Jaehee make their way to the lounge chairs below the deck. Jihyun watches them with a dim smile. He's not keen on letting her go, dressed like that... but he doesn't have a legitimate reason to stop her. Suddenly, the wind blows a strong gust. Lux's hair flies everywhere, but, most alarmingly, her lightweight cardigan whips right back. The sleeves slip off her shoulders and down her arms.

“Wait!” Jihyun calls.

The words tumble out of his lips before he knows it. His body moves of its own accord. He unbuttons his polo and shrugs it off, revealing a white undershirt. He approaches Lux as she waits for him and hands her the garment. She blinks in confusion, but holds onto it.

“Why are you giving me your shirt?” she says.

Without saying anything, he readjusts her cardigan. Then he takes his shirt and wraps it around her shoulders, making sure it completely covers her. Why is he giving her his shirt? He steps back the moment he's finished and she looks at what he's done. Then, she glances back at him, perplexed. As they stare at each other, he scrambles for a reason for his strange behaviour... which will be interesting because he's not even sure himself.

"The sun," he blurts. "It's the sun. It's bright, uhm... too bright. And too hot. I don't want you to get sunburned so..."

God, how ineloquent can he be? He almost cringes at his stammered words, but somehow manages to suppress it. Lux tilts her head at him. Then, she glances at the sky and squints at the bright light that shines on her face.

“It is scorching,” she concedes. “Might need sunscreen.”

"You do," he agrees. "Until then... wear this, please?"

"Okay."

Her easy acquiescence alleviates his anxieties... but at the same time, it highlights how unreasonable it is. His arms are tense as he debates taking the shirt back and keeping it on her. In the end, his hands hang limp at his sides.

"Have fun," he says.

"Come join us soon!"

He nods. Jaehee's gone ahead, picking a lounge chair and settling on it. Lux catches up to her, taking the one next to Jaehee's and depositing her belongings on it. To Jihyun's dismay, she sheds the shirt and the cardigan. As if that is not enough, it turns out that the top and bottom of Lux's swimsuit is removable. The real bikini is underneath, exposing more of her to the world.

“The sun.”

Embarrassment floods Jihyun at Jumin’s statement. Clearing his throat, he crosses his arms and looks at his friend who sidles beside him with a vague smile.

“It’s blistering,” Jihyun insists.

“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” Jumin chuckles.

He leaves it at that and the two simply watches on. Jihyun examines the whole strip of beach. There are a significant number of families and friend groups taking advantage of the day. What gets his attention is a group of college boys playing soccer near the water. The moment they notice Lux and Jaehee their once enthusiastic play became distracted. The complicated emotions churning within him spikes at what he sees. For one, wild second he wants to take Lux back inside the house.

And that... troubles him.

“Jaehee!”

“Got it!"

“Nice—shit, it hit the net!”

“Yes! This is our chance—Lux!”

At Yoosung's frantic command, Lux runs towards the net with an excited cry. The ball falls short and to reach it she dives into the sand. The ball soars high—enough for Jihyun to jump and spike it to the other side. It whips past Saeyoung, Jaehee, and Zen, hitting the spot behind them with a solid smack. Yoosung whooped at their victory while Jihyun hurried to help Lux. She's laughing, much to his relief. He brushes sand off her as Yoosung, Saeyoung, and Zen engage in competitive banter.

"You're not hurt?" he says.

"No, it was amazing!" Lux gushes. "You looked so cool spiking that ball!"

Warmth that has nothing to do with the heat unfurls within him. With a shy smile, he combs his hair back.

"You're quite cool yourself," he says. "Very athletic—I don't see many people dive in the sand like that."

"Oh, I just did what I had to," she chuckles. "Also… well, I was quite active when I was younger—you know: climbed trees, jumped on and off things, played games, explored places…”

“Caused trouble?"

He imagines his beloved as a cute, rambunctious child, and can't help teasing her. In his mind he sees a tinier version of her, with pigtails and the brightest grin… perhaps covered in dirt from playing too much outdoors. His imagination is quite different to what she looks like now, with her wide eyes and cheeks so pink that it begs for his caress. The next time she speaks it's with a steady gaze and he finds himself trapped within those deep brown depths.

"I didn't cause... that much trouble..."

"Ah, but you are a troublemaker."

"Hey, lovebirds! It's time for another round."

Zen's voice interrupts them. Jihyun turns to everyone with an shy smile. When he glances at Lux again he finds her smiling too, but it's unrepentant despite her still blushing. Then, she turns to the others and yells at them too. All good-natured, of course.

"You guys are too slow!" she says. "Let's go!"

With a laugh, Zen holds up his hands. "All right, honey, relax."

"Actually," Jaehee interjects, "I'm tired."

"What!?" Yoosung protests, "but we're on a roll here!"

"You relax too," Zen scolds before turning to Jaehee. "Go ahead."

"Thank you—have fun."

With a relieved smile, Jaehee makes her way to the lounge chairs.

"Well..." Yoosung sighs, "We need one more person—Saeran! Come play!"

Saeran, who's been watching them play from the lounge chairs, waves his hands in protest. It's a rather half-hearted gesture. Jihyun smiles to himself. Within the young man's pastel green eyes happiness glints... a cautious hope at being included in this new family.

"I don't play sports," he says.

"It's okay!" Lux calls, waving him over. "Come play!"

Saeran rises from the chairs and approaches with hesitation.

"I'm not responsible if you guys lose," he warns, taking Jaehee's place.

"All good, little bro," Zen assures him, ruffling his hair. "Just pass the ball to us."

"Yeah," Saeyoung agrees. "We'll crush them."

“You can try,” Yoosung taunts.

Jihyun takes his position as Yoosung readies the ball, but before he can serve, a soccer ball bounces next to Lux. She yelps, jumping in surprise. Alerted, Jihyun glances to where the ball came from. To his displeasure, one of the college boys is jogging towards them. He's making a beeline for Lux.

"Sorry!" he calls with a grin.

"No worries," Lux replies, fetching the ball.

A protest hangs at the tip of Jihyun's tongue as she meets up with the boy. She returns the ball, but the boy holds onto her hand as he engages her in conversation. Apprehensive agitation fills Jihyun at the sight of the boy's charming smile. Thankfully, Lux disengages and returns to them. It's a good thing she doesn't notice the lingering stare the boy gives her as he returns to his friends.

"Are your shoulders getting red?" he tells her.

"Are they?"

Lux looks at them, confused. Of course she's confused—there's nothing to find. To his surprise, though, she shrugs. She asks for a time-out and runs to the chairs, taking his shirt and donning it on as she runs back. The whole thing leaves him feeling rather dumbfounded.

"I can borrow this, right?" she asks him with a smile.

"Erm... of course," Jihyun replies.

"Hey!" Yoosung yells impatiently. "Can we start!?"

"Go!" Lux shouts back with a laugh.

The game resumes. Despite his shy countenance, Saeran holds his own. Jihyun's heart swells with pride at the sight of him enjoying himself. Making him prouder is Lux's energy. They're about even in scoring, but the way she participates in every point makes the game that much more fun.

As they get into the rhythm of the game, a familiar soccer ball soars in the middle of their makeshift court. It bounces near Lux again, taking her by surprise. The same college boy returns, asking for the ball back. Lux looks unbothered as she picks up the offending object and jogs to return it to him. Jihyun is a little miffed now, especially when the boy once again holds onto his beloved's hands. It's small comfort that she's now covered. The boy engages her in conversation and Jihyun wonders what they're talking about. It seems the boy's inviting Lux to join them, but she's quick to shake her head and end the conversation.

Soon enough the volleyball game continues.

And then it happens a third time.

With a gentle stopping gesture to Lux, Jihyun takes the ball this time. When he approaches the boy he's satisfied to see the crestfallen expression on his face. He takes a bit of inspiration from Jumin and Lux, wearing a polite smile and a friendly demeanour.

"This is yours," he says, handing the ball with more force than necessary.

Stumbling, the boy takes the ball. "Thank you...?"

Since Jihyun's not Lux, the boy's keen to return to his friends. He pivots on his feet, but Jihyun hasn't released the ball yet. He renews his grip, causing the boy to almost trip over his own feet as his hands fail to follow his body. With an indignant expression, he opens his mouth... but closes it promptly when Jihyun cuts him off.

"I hate to ask," he says, "but I'd like to ask you and your friends to play more carefully. This is the third time your ball has wandered to our side and my poor girlfriend can only do so much. She's not here to fetch things for strangers."

“… Girlfriend?”

Recognition lights in the boy's eyes as they flicked over to, undoubtedly, Lux. Jihyun takes the opportunity to release the ball. The boy stumbles back and with a mumbled promise to be careful he returns to his friends. Jihyun goes back to his side with a sense of justice... until he sees his beloved and her concerned frown. Now underneath the pleasant hum coursing through his body is a bit of sheepishness.

"Are you okay?" she says.

"Yes."

He takes her hand and kisses the back. She smiles at him, reassured yet bemused, squeezing his fingers. Exhaustion that has nothing to do with the game overcomes him. He needs to rest... and take a good look at himself... examine what he's been feeling the whole day.

"I'm taking a break," he says.

"Okay—do you need me?"

"Always," he smiles. "But I'm fine, my love. Have fun."

"All right..."

"Just..."

"Yes?"

Jihyun hesitates. "If you don't mind... keep this on?"

He straightens the collar of his shirt. Lux inclines her head and smiles back.

"Because of sunburn, right?"

"... Yes."

"I will."

With that, he returns to the lounge chairs. She continues to play with Zen and the group. Soon enough, Jaehee joins them again. Did she ever notice his strange behaviour? She's so clever that she must have. Yet, she still accommodates him and fulfils his childish wishes. Shouldn't he apologise? Or at the very least let her know how he feels? It's only fair to her, isn't it?

For the rest of the afternoon, he watches over her, mind in turmoil.

That one college boy never wanders to their side again.

The lapping sound of the waves drowns the clicking of Jihyun's camera. He's been taking pictures—mostly of Lux, but also the members at their happiest. They're an active bunch. After a competitive session of volleyball, the battle continues on to swimming. Lux sat out while Zen claimed victory on that one. After that, they moved on to sandcastles where the twins made it their mission to build a fortress. The games continue on as they do any and all beachside activities under the sun.

Jumin, meanwhile, stayed on his lounge chair. He switched between reading books and consulting all his devices. The members attempted to invite him, but after his swift rejection, they never tried again. Lux, of course, was the exception. At every activity she called on him with no restraint, only laughing at the face of every rejection.

Ever since Jihyun's request, Lux keeps herself covered. Though the longer he watches the more foolish he feels. He must have confused her; she's smart enough to not buy his excuses. Still, she does as he asked, not even uttering a single protest or question. Because of that, her effort means all the more to him.

"Jihyun!"

He finds Zen in his viewfinder. Lowering the camera he sees the actor jogging towards him. His wet hair resembles mercury, accentuating the colour of his eyes. Everyone nearby gazes upon him with admiration, but Zen doesn't notice. He ducks under the umbrella and sits next to Jihyun, shaking water from his hair. Jihyun hands him a towel with a smile.

"Everything all right?" he says, dabbing his face. "You sick or something?"

"Just tired," Jihyun replies.

"Okay."

Zen looks across the sand and Jihyun follows his gaze. A long distance away, Lux and the rest of the group play by the water. While everyone else's sandcastle vanishes with the waves, the twins' stand strong. As Lux chases Yoosung around, Jihyun notices how careful she is not to wet his shirt. He almost winces. All because of his childishness...

"Uhm... listen. I don't want to meddle or anything, but..."

At Zen's hesitant words, Jihyun looks at him.

"What's wrong?"

"Lux... is worried. About you."

Ah... the one thing he's been trying to avoid.

"She's worried?" he says, dismayed.

"Well—okay, more like she's worried she's offended you."

"Offend? Me? She'd never do that!"

"I know," Zen assures him. "I know, don't worry. I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding. After all, you're that couple that has nothing to fight about... like, at all. None."

Jihyun sighs. He knows he’s being ridiculous, but until Zen's words he didn't realise just how much. He dares a glance at him, almost grimacing at the knowing smile directed at him. Maybe he can talk to Zen about this... after all, he's the one who understands love and romance the most. At the very least Zen can confirm how much of a fool he is.

"I just..." he drawls, hesitant, "Think... that Lux's suit is, well, revealing."

"Revealing?" Zen says, confused. "It's a bikini."

"It's too revealing," he insists.

There's a pause. Jihyun turns his head to avoid Zen's studious eyes. Then, suddenly, the actor chuckles.

"Okay, I get it."

"You do?"

"It's been a minute since I dated," Zen sighs. "But I haven't forgotten what it's like to be jealous and possessive. The suit made her cuter. Right? You realise that everybody else can now see how beautiful she is."

Jihyun blinks, surprised.

"That's right."

"And it bothers you," Zen continues. "You don't want anyone else seeing her that way. You want to be the only one. Right? You want to be the only one in her life, the only one who can see her being this cute. You want her to see only you... how am I doing?"

Accurate, but Jihyun's hesitant to admit that.

"Oh..."

At that moment Lux and the group return from the sea. Zen pats his shoulder.

"I get it," he assures him.

"Ah, right..."

"But talk to her," he advises. "I can tell you right now that you have nothing to worry about... but this is something you need to hear from her. Communication is always the best thing."

Jihyun smiles and nods. "Okay, thank you, Hyun."

"Sure thing—I mean, who else can give this kind of advice?" Zen jerks his thumb towards an oblivious Jumin. "Mr Robot over there?"

"Hyun, please," Jihyun admonishes with a laugh.

The group arrives. Zen stands up and offers Lux his place. She takes it, sitting next to Jihyun with a huff. Smiling, she leans against him and he wraps his arm around her shoulders. Her hair is dripping wet, which makes the semi-dry state of his shirt a feat. The other members stands before him, soaked. The water's plastered their hair to their faces—it's the most striking look for Yoosung, who now resembles his younger self... only with blond hair.

"Jaehee says there's a café on the island,” he says. “Let’s go!”

He points to a dome-shaped spit of land in the middle of the sea.

“I’ll stay,” Lux says. “I’m tired.”

Yoosung pouts. “No! Why—”

"All right!" Zen cuts in.

Jihyun looks at him in surprise. Zen winks at him.

"What about you, Jihyun?"

"I'll stay too," he replies, returning Lux's smile.

"Great. In that case... CEO-in-Line! You're up!" Zen calls.

Jumin lifts his head from his laptop and glares at Zen over the frames of his sunglasses.

"Excuse me?"

"You're coming with us," Zen commands with a smug grin.

"Why?"

"Be our guide, Jumin!" Yoosung says.

"At least one of you have GPS," he drawls, displeased. "Surely you don't need me..."

Jumin trails off as his eyes meet with Jihyun's. He lost his steam as soon as he got it. Jihyun blinks in pleasant bemusement. What an inscrutable stare... what could his friend be thinking? Then, to his surprise, Jumin rises to his feet. With a huff, he straightens his clothes and adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

"Fine," he says.

Saeyoung whoops. "Adventures in a mysterious, abandoned island!"

"It's not mysterious," Saeran says, confused. "There's a cafe there."

"And it's hardly abandoned," Jumin scoffs. "I'll have the staff set up the boat. Assistant Kang."

He stalks off to where the boats are docked.

"Oh—yes, sir."

Jaehee hastens to follow him. Before that, she gets her mobile and cardigan from her belongings. As she walks off, she waves to Jihyun and Lux.

"I'll see you two later."

"Don't work too hard," Lux says with a wave.

"I'll babysit the kids," Zen says.

The youngsters protest at the label and at Zen babysitting them. With a  proud glow, the actor takes all three of them by the arm and urges them to follow Jaehee. They say their goodbyes before jogging off. Zen stays behind to grab his shirt and to say his goodbyes.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he teases. "Or... maybe... do? Be safe, is all I'm saying."

With another wink, Zen is off. His playful warning brings a light flush to Jihyun's cheeks. He turns to Lux and finds her watching over the departing members with a smile. He realises then that she hasn't dried off yet. He reaches for her towel and drapes it over her head. Gently, he squeezes and dabs excess water out of her hair. Lux giggles, putting her hands over his and helping him. He relaxes as the quiet settles around them.

"Are you okay?" Lux says.

"I am."

"That's good to hear."

He stops when she looks up, her smile now directed at him.

"I missed you when you weren't with me, though."

Her honesty hits him straight in his heart. What does he do with that information? He drops his hands with a defeated sigh. The next second warmth blooms on his cheeks. To top it all off she gazes at him steadily, intensifying everything. Then she starts to chuckle, making everything just the tiniest bit embarrassing.

"You're blushing," she teases, touching his cheek.

Payback.

"It's because of those honest lips of yours," he murmurs, brushing his thumb along her mouth.

Lux's cheeks instantly went pink. Too cute.

"Jihyun, that's not fair," she whines, hiding her face.

He laughs, endeared at how even her ears are glowing. He kisses her palms before helping her dry up some more. Over time his anxieties melt away. He now realises how trivial this all is. Here she is, sitting with him and looking only at him. The words she says are for his ears only. Those cute reactions of hers are not for anyone else. Her bright presence in his life assures him that he has nothing to worry about. He never had the cause to worry. Now, he feels like he'd done her great injustice.

“Are you really tired?” he says

She lowers her hands.

“Why?”

“Jihyun, this is amazing!"

Smiling, Jihyun follows Lux as she sheds her cardigan and hurries to the water. This is an area he and Jumin discovered during one of their many adventures. It's situated on the other side of the residential area, hidden by high-rise rocks and cliffs. He and Jumin happen upon it when they decided to explore the area. After reaping the rewards of their discovery, they agree to keep the place a secret. Lux is the first person he brought here. Jihyun wonders if he ought to have asked Jumin first... but it's Lux. Jumin will understand.

He places the blanket on the sand as Lux chases the waves. This place seems to be the same too. The sand is whiter than the beach; the ocean so clear and the perfect shade of sapphire—the colour made for Lux. But it's strange... has it always been this bright? He doesn't remember it being so... sparkly. Is it the brightness of the sun? Or is it that Lux's presence makes everything more brilliant?

"Jihyun!"

Lux waves at him and he waves back.

"Go on, darling. I'll set everything up."

"Do that later!" she laughs. "Come on!"

Oh, he can't win against her. Dropping everything, he runs to her. As soon as he gets close she splashes at him. The water catches the edges of his hair and shorts, drenching them. He splashes back at her, laughing at her happily shocked face. They engage in a water fight, which in turn becomes a game of tag. With Lux's speed, he's always the one chasing her. Sometimes she slows down enough for him to catch up, only to slip away when he gets too close. After a few minutes of running things come to a head. They face each other as the sea laps at their feet. Lux looks for escape while Jihyun tries to find a way to capture her. They smile teasingly at each other, challenging the other to make a move. Lux does so first and Jihyun picks up her trajectory. When she's close enough he lunges and wraps his arms around her waist. She yelps in surprise as he pulls her to him. She loops her arms around his neck, hugging him and laughing when he twirls her around. After doing a complete circle he lets her down. Gently, she cups his face.

"Now, you're more relaxed."

She has noticed.

He winces. "I wasn't before, was I?"

She shakes her head. "No."

"I am so sorry, my love."

"It's okay," she says, caressing him. "I was just... worried that it's because of me."

"No," he says quickly, holding onto her hands. "No, it's not you—never you..."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Then what's wrong?"

Though Lux smiles, within the depths of her eyes is an emotion he knows all too well. She acquainted him with it when she cared for him during that tumultuous time. It was all he knew when she cared for him after the attack. It's concern—for him. The difference this time around is that she worries that she wronged him somehow. His sheepishness at his childish action now turns into full-fledged guilt.

"Uhm... I never felt jealous before," he begins, voice low and uncertain. "Well, at least not in the context of a relationship. I felt it when I saw you for the first time wearing this... but I didn't recognise it until much later. And… I struggled with how to deal with it."

“You were jealous... because of the swimsuit?”

“Yes.”

“You wanted to wear it?” Lux says, brows furrowing.

He laughs at her innocent question.

"No, darling," he says, lowering their hands and pressing them against his heart. "I mean... you look beautiful. And so adorable. Too adorable. I feared you would attract a lot of attention. I didn't like that. I wanted to keep you to myself, to be the only person to see you like this. The thought of other people seeing what I see bothered me. I wanted to be the only one..."

"Oh..." she whispers, eyes widening.

"And it didn't help when that boy kept trying to get your attention."

"Which boy?"

"The one with the soccer ball."

"Oh... oh. Is that what he was doing?" Lux says, surprised. "I thought he's just terrible at soccer."

Her answer dumbfounds him. Jihyun gazes into her eyes. He's trying to find whether she's joking or teasing, but... her eyes tell of her seriousness. She didn't know. She didn't see what he did. Before he knows it he's laughing. There is no need to worry. Not that her noticing worries him... but somehow her obliviousness to all this relieves him.

"You were jealous, huh?" she says with a smile.

"Jealous and possessive."

"That's why you keep asking me to cover up?"

"That's right."

"You love me that much?"

"I do, yes."

She giggles. "I love you too."

She wraps her arms around him. She buries her face in his chest as he hugs her back and kisses the top of her head. Without any people around there’s just the water and the whistling of the sea breeze as it whips around them. A sense of peace settles over him as they stand together for a few minutes. He didn't know what to expect after telling her his feelings... but it doesn't surprise him that she meets him halfway with understanding. That's her... gentle and kind, non-judgemental and patient.

"I mean... on the one hand, I'm relieved. I thought I did something."

"No, darling."

"My swimsuit doesn't offend you?"

With a smile, he looks her over. She does look adorable on her swimsuit—and attractive. Too attractive. This look of hers tempts him to hold her tight and kiss her until the sun no longer shines. It seduces him with the idea of holing up in their room for a day... so they can spend ample time discovering each other. But he controls his urges, settling for kissing her hand instead.

"Of course not," he says, winking, "I said you looked cute, didn't I?"

"You did... but we both know that you're too kind sometimes." She runs her hand along his back. "I love this outfit, but I don't love it more than you. You mean a lot to me so... I would have been happy to change if it bothered you."

Jihyun stares at her, a little awed. She talks as if it's no big deal, but it touches him. Since his return, they've spent a lot of time together... but her selflessness and love still amazes him. How can someone like her exist? What has he done in his past life to meet someone like her?

"Thank you," he says. "I appreciate you saying that."

Lux nods and they separate. He smiles curiously when she inclines her head towards him.

"Uhm... you've never been jealous, you say? Ever?" she says.

He thinks about it. Jealousy... is not usually a concept that applies to him. He hears about people being jealous of him. When it came to his relationship... there was never a sense of possessiveness with Rika. He never feared for her loss. There was no need for it. They were so wrapped up in each other, so filled with obsession that there was no room for anything else... least of all jealousy. In fact, what he had was the extreme opposite end���he felt like he had a lot to give.

And so he pushed it upon Rika.

But that's all in the past.

"I think not..." he winces. "Is that bad?"

"Of course not," she says, taking his hands and squeezing. "It's fine if you've never felt jealous before... it only means that your experiences are different from other people."

"Right..."

"I mean... not everyone can say they've climbed mountains to take photos, right? Not everyone can say they've felt the same exhilarating will to live as you did."

"No," he chuckles. "I suppose not."

They smile at each other.

"Thank you for talking to me," she says. "I appreciate it."

"Of course... I never want to hide things from you."

"Then... please never stop telling me things," she continues, squeezing his hands again. "Anything you feel and experience... anything that troubles you or you don't understand... please come to me. Talk to me. I want to figure it out with you."

Love bursts overwhelmingly within Jihyun's chest. He envelops Lux in another embrace. This woman is a miracle. Her brightness doesn't scorch. Her kindness doesn't suffocate. Her understanding doesn't erode. She is the balm that soothes, the gentle force that brought peace in his life. Before he left two and a half years ago it's been a constant thought in his mind, how he doesn't deserve her. He still thinks that sometimes... but more than that she inspires him to be better—for him and for her. To be someone worthy of living... worthy of her.

“I will do that.”

"I can see the house. We'll be there in a minute."

"Okay, Jumin. Please tell everyone to take care on the sand."

"Sure."

Jihyun ends the call and turns to Lux. She's in the kitchen, standing by the stove and stirring the pot before her. The sight is so domestic that he can't help imagining her as his wife. He indulges himself in the fantasy of them finally being together in every way... and that today is like any other in their happy, married life. Suddenly, she looks at him. There must be something in his gaze because she gives him a shy smile.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she says.

"You're beautiful," he answers.

Her smile widens, but the next second she bites her lip—as if she's stopping herself from grinning. She waves him over and he's happy to amble over to her side. Within the pot bubbles a broth that's red in colour. Underneath the surface are various vegetables and some seafood. The smell is incredible. Jihyun's stomach rumbles in hunger as the aroma assails him. Lux stirs for a few more seconds before ladling a small amount. She blows on it before offering it to him. Leaning forward, he takes a small sip. Oh, it's delicious. The taste is well-balanced, with the perfect mix of salty and spicy. He can pick up each individual flavour, but they all dance in harmony on his tongue.

"How is it?" she says.

He smiles at her hopeful look. "Amazing."

"Really?"

"Yes, this is excellent."

"I'm glad—"

"Hello, lovebirds!"

At the booming words, Jihyun looks to the double doors. Zen emerges from them with a teasing expression. With a wink at them, he glides past the kitchen and towards the bedrooms before Jihyun and Lux can say anything. In his wake are snippets of conversation and commotion. The next to appear is Jumin, whose hair looked rather damp. Jihyun can tell he's not that thrilled to have been on an adventure with the youngsters... but he seems rather refreshed.

"Welcome back!" Lux chirps.

"What's this?" Jumin says.

"I let the staff off early," Jihyun explains.

"Oh."

"We decided to cook for everyone," Lux says.

Following behind Jumin is Jaehee and the kids. As soon as Yoosung emerges he breaks from the group and rushes to Lux's side. The twins follow suit, surrounding her on all sides. Jihyun watches with a happy smile as Lux beams at them in greeting. Without prompt, she offers them a taste. Though she did most of the cooking he can't help feeling a surge of pride for her at their elated reactions.

"Good?" Lux asks Saeran, patting his head.

With a blush, Saeran nods.

"It's so good!" Yoosung compliments.

"Better than the Madam's," Saeyoung says.

Lux gasps, "No way, she's an excellent cook!"

She, Saeyoung, and Jihyun break in laughter at this.

"So I'll count on you two, then," Jumin interjects.

"Oh, yes," Jihyun replies.

With that Jumin walks off to the bedrooms.

"Thank you for all your effort," Jaehee says with a smile and then she's gone too.

"Go get cleaned up," Jihyun tells the three. "Everything will be ready when you're done."

At that, Saeyoung hooks his arms around Saeran and Yoosung.

"I have a surprise later at the beach," he grins. "Look forward to it."

"Pray for your lives," Yoosung quips.

"Set your affairs in order," Saeran deadpans.

"Hey, don't do me dirty like that!"

They explode in rambunctious laughter as Saeyoung drags them away. They're so loud that their voices bounce along the walls. The threesome bicker and banter until the dim hallways swallow the noise. It's only the two of them again. Jihyun gets started on cutting the rest of the vegetables. He smiles when Lux embraces him from behind.

"A surprise..." she says, "Sounds exciting."

He chuckles, "Knowing Saeyoung it's going to be interesting."

"Yes."

As everyone cleans up, Jihyun and Lux finish cooking dinner. They set up the table, going for a minimal look rather than anything fancy. By the time the group gathers again, the hearty spread is ready for them. They waste no time in having a feast. Soon, the whole thing becomes a chaotic, but enjoyable affair. Saeyoung continues to rope Saeran and Yoosung in trouble. Zen captures Jaehee's entire attention with his charm and stories. Jumin looks utterly unaffected. Meanwhile, Lux looks happy to be part of it all.

As for Jihyun... this is healing. They didn't usually gather like this before Lux. They never had a vacation together nor did they have feasts. They didn't treat each other like strangers, either; they went out for meals and coffee... but it didn't feel as tight-knit as they do now. Lux's presence makes everything feel natural. It's like they've been doing this for years. Nowadays they feel more like a family than... individuals who decided to gather together and do some good. It's warm. It's comfortable.

It feels like home.

After dinner, Saeyoung invites them all to return to the beach. The whole area is dark now; everything combines together in one black mass. The outdoor lighting of the houses barely illuminates anything. With flourish, Saeyoung reveals his surprise, which is fireworks. There are so many kinds, from rockets that go in the air to sparklers that people can hold. As the kids set up the rockets, the rest of them play with the sparklers. Zen lights one and takes as many selfies with them as possible. At first, Jumin refuses one, but at Zen's insistence he now stoically holds a lit sparkler. Zen then offers Jaehee one and she takes it with a smile. Soon, he includes her in his selfie session.

"Jihyun?"

Lux's voice draws him to her. She holds a few sticks of unlit sparklers. He smiles, taking the ones she offers him. After taking the lighter from Zen, he lights them up. Lux takes her mobile and takes pictures of them holding the fireworks as well as a few selfies. They view the pictures after and Jihyun's chest warm at the images of them together.

“Everyone!” Saeyoung calls.

The sound of rockets whistling has him and Lux looking up. The rocket soars up in the sky and then comes apart in an explosion of bright red. Another one flies up, lighting in blue. The next one is in green. One by one each rocket illuminates the heavens with a rainbow kaleidoscope of colours. It's a show that's a treat for the eyes, brighter than the stars, brighter than the moon's reflection on the ocean.

Jihyun is so awed that he starts when he feels slender arms wounding around his waist. He glances down at Lux, who gazes at him with the happiest smile. As her feelings reach him he feels he can walk on air. He wants to hold her tight and never let go. He wants to keep her by his side. For now, he contents himself with wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Pressing her tight against him, he sneaks a quick, gentle kiss while everyone watches the fireworks.

This is it, he realises as she kisses back.

This is happiness.

[evakuality]

Episode seven of this ongoing series of mine: one in which I spend far too much time on one set of clips because the differences fascinated me too much.  The earlier episodes can be found here:

Episode one          Episode two          Episode three

Episode four          Episode five          Episode six

The guru talks in these two episodes are so interesting because they are very different.  First, the dynamic between each pair is quite distinct.  Eskild reassures Isak immediately that he’s ‘sick’ of hearing him apologise for what he said about being ‘gay gay’ and it’s clear that Isak has been angsting over this since it happened and getting on Eskild’s nerves with the depth of his apologies.  Then the teasing when Eskild works out that Isak wants some gay guruing is adorable, but Isak is unwilling to explicitly say ‘you’re my guru’ despite reluctantly agreeing to it in principle.  He’s ready to walk away from the conversation before doing that and Eskild knows when he’s gone too far and lets Isak talk.  Hans is a lot less welcoming when Matteo first shows up, though he does say he doesn’t need to apologise and Matteo says he wasn’t planning to.  At this point, Hans has been absent for a while and so this is probably their first meeting post-disastrous ‘gay gay’ talk.  That it’s so different to Isak’s shows just how different this dynamic is.  Matteo doesn’t feel a need to apologise which tends to suggest he doesn’t feel like what he said was ‘wrong’ the way Isak does.  And in fairness to him, Hans’s reaction was much less harsh than Eskild’s and there has been time to chill since they last saw each other.  Still.  It means the idea that Matteo is trying to figure stuff out rather than judging seems more likely.  Matteo is, however, much happier to tell Hans he’s his guru ‘if it makes you happy’ so each in his own way lets his guru know what he means to him and how valued he finds him.  It’s just that they have very different styles of doing that.  Isak needs to let Eskild know how sorry he is, while Matteo needs to make Hans feel accepted and happy.

The talk itself between Isak and Eskild is very hesitant and I think Isak already knows what Eskild will say, he just wants to talk about it a bit.  It is an awkward situation and Even is still very opaque at this point so trying to decipher meaning is hard for Isak who’s still navigating his first real experience with genuine emotions.  Eskild tells Isak that guys don’t often break up with girls to be with other guys, and yet that’s exactly what Matteo has done.  Isak’s been given a fairly explicit reminder that a long relationship isn’t easily ditched and is left just as unsatisfied as before.  Matteo, on the other hand, is told that David is probably not ready to come out (which is true but not in the way Hans means, but I digress).  And Matteo is given a course of action when he asks what he should do: wait for him to be ready to stand up for himself or give up on him.  It’s very definitive, unlike Eskild’s wishy washy attempt to make things clear.  Eskild is not very reassuring here and his guruing is hilariously awkward as he tries to say what he thinks but also tries not to upset Isak.  Bonus: saying he’s not God and so he doesn’t really know everything while he tries to be not too harsh.  

This segues nicely into Matteo’s version because his is entirely bound by church and religious activities.  Hans, who is preparing an Easter meal for them all, takes Matteo away and literally into a church to have this discussion.  He may not be God, but there’s a clear suggestion that God won’t judge harshly as they have this conversation literally under his roof.  This has a lot of relevance both to each character’s relationship with his mother, and also to his relationship with religion.  Isak has effectively rejected his mother’s religion and all the texts we see from her to this point are just religious.  Matteo gets religious texts from his mother, but they are also peppered with other things like best wishes for his exams.  Isak doesn’t see his mother anymore and is visibly irritated with her religion being foisted on him, whereas Matteo is much more sanguine and has a much closer relationship with his mother.  In fact, she expects that she might see him at church this day and while he fobs her off because ‘I have to study’ it’s clear that they have some contact outside of text messages about bible verses.  This means that for Matteo, having this chat here is comforting rather than scary as it might be for Isak, who is still unsure what his parents might think of him being gay and who isn’t really willing to use that descriptor for himself as yet.  To Isak, church is something he builds up to doing, where for Matteo it’s a familiar thing, maybe not actively preset in his life but not something to be wary of.  Matteo and Hans discuss something of the comfort you can get from religion and even indulge in some rituals before they leave.  There’s hope here, for Matteo, as he’s reminded that his mother is on medication and is feeling better and he hears about the steps Hans’s has taken.  It’s a strong suggestion that nothing is static and things may look bad, but they can improve.  He’s left in a much better position than Isak at the end of this conversation.

Another difference is how defeated Matteo looks before he goes to talk to Hans (which also emphasises how much he gets out of the conversation they end up having; it’s a much lighter matteo we see at the end than at the start).  He’s so sad, despite having had such a good talk with Jonas about all his stuff.  It hasn’t been enough to make him feel completely at ease because for him it was never about ‘will people accept who I am’ and more about wanting to feel something.  So his relief isn’t as immediate as Isak’s.  Not to say Isak is truly happy here, he’s clearly very worried/concerned about what’s happening with Even, but a lot of his issues were what Jonas would think and that’s been settled and so he’s a lot less caught up in the whole sad mess.  For this reason, we never see Isak destroy (or rather damage because it does come back later) any of the gifts/messages from Even the way Matteo does to David’s ‘it’s not you it’s me’ drawing.  That’s partly because Matteo is a more impulsive and aggressive character but also partly because the issues are/were different for him and so he’s still a maelstrom of emotion.  This only makes the end of this scene more poignant, of course, because for Matteo it’s the real start of healing.  For Isak that process was well underway with the Jonas talk.

This difference in what they were feeling carries through into the scenes with Sana and Amira.  Matteo’s in fact, combines two scenes between Isak and Sana and so hits with everything it has right in one go.  But even if they were split as Isak’s are, the tone is different.  Isak and Sana are in school and competing for who has the right answer.  Isak is in his element and doesn’t feel a need to make amends with her (mostly because he didn’t drive Sana away the way Matteo did with Amira), and so it’s much more casual than matteo who has set up a study zone and made sure to be prepared and to prove to Amira that he really does value her.  As Isak does with Sana but they show it in different ways.  Isak has intellectual battles with Sana, bouncing ideas off her and sparring with her about their work, proving that he values her brain and her abilities and they both clearly enjoy the debate.  Matteo shows with the way he carefully prepares everything that he’s taking Amira seriously and appreciates her help and effort.  There’s a lot more weight given to Vilde and her ‘are you gay? Yay I love gays’ message to Isak than Kiki’s to Matteo, because for Isak this is his nightmare: everyone finding out and facing once again that possibility of rejection.  The situation panics him a lot.  It becomes obvious as Isak questions her, that Sonja and Emma between them have been telling people and Isak can’t hide from it now.  He’s clearly stressed and anxious about it.  Matteo really doesn’t care if he’s outed in many ways: he’s ready and willing to shower the object of his affection with love and attention as publicly as he’s allowed to.  Having Kiki ‘support’ him this way is just irritating rather than anything that genuinely rattles him.  Having said that, he’s genuinely happy that Amira apologises (in her own roundabout unique way) for what she said about ‘genetic dead ends’ and he thanks her for her support.  Clearly, there are ways he welcomes support and there are ways he doesn’t (or maybe it’s just that he likes Amira and finds Kiki annoying at the best of times).  

The way they come out to the boys is fascinating too.  Isak is effectively forced into it because of the rumours at school which Magnus helpfully updates us and him on in the most oblivious sort of way and makes the whole thing that much harder for Isak, because now it’s ‘hilarious’ that he’s gay.  Matteo is asked about it by Carlos who has heard it through the rumour mill.  Its taken out of his hands a bit, but that doesn’t seem to worry him since he’s far more ready to be open about it already.  For him, the big thing now is whether he can get David back because he still stubbornly ‘can’t believe’ that David means he doesn’t want him (with good reason; it’s obvious they had something good).  We can hear Isak’s nerves in his voice and in the very long pause before he says ‘we had a thing’ whereas Matteo just seems to be stalling because he’s not sure how to say it, not because he’s scared to say it.  Isak is clearly taken aback when the boys starts arguing about bisexuality vs pansexuality as if he’d expected a bigger, weirder reaction, and he’s quick to reiterate for these boys just like he did for Eskild that he’s not ‘gay’ just because he likes Even.  Matteo shares an amused look with Jonas during this same conversation and in his case is very comfortable saying he ‘believes’ he’s gay.  He doesn’t have the same hangups about that side of things, which is becoming more and more clear.  He wants to be ‘normal’ (his word) and also ‘gay’ and wants to reconcile the two things, but he’s still willing to accept the label even with the perceptions that don’t seem to fit him.  The ‘point’ of Matteo’s meetup with the boys is for him to apologise for his behaviour the other day and to make it up and spend time with them so for him the question comes out of nowhere, and yet it doesn’t phase him and he’s not worried about it in the same way Isak is.

One scene that differs for Matteo here is the one where he starts cleaning up his act, literally.  It’s a lovely visual metaphor for his state of mind and how much better he’s feeling now, and it also reminds us of how he feels about David even now when he hasn’t seen him in so long and is basically clinging to hope rather than any real indication that he can salvage anything out of this relationship.  Of course this leads to his conversation with Sara which mirrors Isak’s with Emma later but goes into more depth and in which he has more to apologise for.  I think he makes the leap to Sara here because he knows he feels about David the way she potentially felt about him and so he knows he owes her something.  We see more of how much she means to him compared to the relatively more superficial version Isak does with Emma.  This is partly because Matteo was actually in a relationship with Sara vs Isak and his casual hookups with Emma which she read more into than he promised.  But it’s also partly down to their difference in personality.  Matteo’s caring side is much closer to the surface and he seems to want to shower those he loves with affection.  The biggest example of this is of course David, but it’s also true of others including Sara.  Isak’s caring is hidden behind his sarcasm and grumpy persona and I don’t think it’s a surprise that once he was feeling better with his boys his first reaction is to roast Magnus for having no game.  This is what he’s like when he’s feeling good  Matteo doesn’t do that sort of thing and never has.  Instead we see his genuine concern that Sara has been bottling up her worries about her father and his job.  Having learned for himself that it’s important to talk to people to keep yourself healthy and happy (ish), he offers her the same advice he got.

The drinking scenes with the boys where they coach Isak and Matteo through texting Even and David go mostly the same.  Both boys experience the support and caring of their friends, both talk about irrelevant things with them while they do so and both are talked into basically sending an ultimatum.  They’re both reconnected with these groups and feel welcomed and at ease with them.  The one big difference is the way they greet Even vs David at the door.  They’re both anxious and excited, which we can see in their body language, but Isak takes one look at Even and despite being told to be chill and distant and play hard to get he goes straight in for a kiss and then things progress very quickly from there.  Matteo takes one look at David and has no idea how to react at all.  They stare at each other awkwardly before falling into a hug it seems like they both need.  I think Matteo is still a little more vulnerable and fragile about things, which makes sense because he got a much harsher rejection earlier.  He’s not really in a spot where he’d be ready for sex, even if David was.

This was the last time the episodes really line up properly because the things that happen as we progress are so different and come from such different places that it’s going to be interesting to look at the ways the differences in the two of them affect how they react to what is coming.  There are still similarities, of course, but starting with David’s confession the timing and purpose of events really diverge.

Episode eight can be found here

[artificialqueens]

don't play the fool now (multi) - chapter two - lily2

adore isn’t too interested in attending the famous and ever-so popular: club katya however, she bumps into someone who leaves a lasting impression. meanwhile, shea breaks the most basic rules of her job and katya definitely cares for her sister more than she should.

— ✧*。

Adore stood, locking arm’s with Scarlet and Courtney who were on both of her sides, both of them completely dolled up and wearing their finest and cutest sequin dresses, the new employee stuck out like a sore thumb with her long hair down, a short and black v-neck dress and of course some fishnets and bright red lipstick— she didn’t want to be polished, it was a casino and a club after all, as if someone could get through a sentence or even speak to her about her possibly questionable style choices as they sat, gambling their life away and utterly wasted.

“Well I don’t see the others but we are a bit early.” The Australian speaking up and brushing her hair back gently, not wanting to ruin the shape before she heard a whistle and saw the rest of the girls from their unit walk up, Adore clearly the odd one out as even Yvie decided to dress in whatever she could find that wasn’t too casual. “Let’s do the damn thing ladies.” Aja spoke over the gaggle of girls who all interlocked hands, it almost looked like a cult; an extremely attractive and undercover (but not really) cult. 

First Scarlet and Courtney walked through, waving to the suspecting and familar bartenders and staff who greeted them oh-so-sweetly as expected from two glamorous regulars though Adore couldn’t help but notice the security’s eyes follow her before she turned the corner, clinging a bit to her two new teammates, not due to fear however, Azusa was far more tramuatic and terrifying as a thought than this entire casino: it was more the feeling of being so unaware, everything was bright and the lights a bit dim, people of every kind wanting the same two things: money and alcohol, music blasting as Yvie and Tatianna moved as they walked, feeling themselves to the song. 

“Obviously we aren’t gonna stick together forever so do we want to have a time and place to meet?” Scarlet raising her hand to stop the other seven girls from walking past her, raising a good concern. “The fact you think we will be sober enough to even remember.” Yvie cackled, amused that Scarlet really, truly believed picking a place in the middle of the night, at a casino was a good option for the unit of girls, trying to run away from the stress of their jobs and welcome Adore (in possibly the worst fashion possible) as they gambled and drank the night away, atleast that was what Yvie was planning to do with her time.

“It’s a genuine question, I’m sorry I don’t actually get wasted every time I go out somewhere and besides we’re not on the job, not like I have radios to talk with you guys!“ 

Tatianna held her phone up and nervously gave a smile to the two already beginning to start the usual bickering session, “But we all do have phones and I’m sure some of us will stick together, if anyone goes wrong let’s do that me and Brook Lynn are the ones to call, I know she doesn’t drink too often anhway and I’m pretty responsible so we’ll be the good parents today.” The Canadian shrugged, utterly and completely okay with that little suggestion, “That’s fine by me, I know I’m always the type to get bored and be on my phone anyway." 

"Why did you come then?” Yvie asked, gripping her arm, “Because someone has to be the responsible one like Tatianna said and I don’t trust any of the rest of you to be at Club Katya, we saw how that saga turned out for you and for Aja last time.” Adore wasn’t exactly sure what story that was about but judging by Aja’s cheeks beginning to glow red and Yvie’s stammer, she assumed it wasn’t the most pleasant situation or maybe it was the fucking funniest thing ever, she had yet to find out and maybe she never would.

“You’re coming with me!” Scarlet winked at Adore, speaking up over the rest of them and dragging her along with Courtney, the two of them giddy as can be, they seemed to legitmately enjoy the aesthetic and double life, not like anyone would ask what job they had and if they didn’t they certainly wouldn’t answer a private investigator or detective, what a damn downer.

“The first night of your job and you’re gonna spend it with us gambling, wonderful!” The chipper tone from Courtney’s voice enough to speak volumes of how this night was about to go, she was either going to earn a fuck ton of money or die on the balcony roof and both seemed like acceptable, viable options at this stage of the game.

“Let’s get our money ladies!" 

*.✧

Bianca, Shea and Jinkx gathered in the car, all dressed about as nice they ever would going to Club Katya though Bianca always attempted to atleast look decent, wanting to make a lasting impression and also show off her clothing, it was a win-win! Shea’s fingers tapped the window of the car she she stared blankly, the window of the black Tesla dimmed, Jinkx claiming it was for protection— not wanting others to make any assumptions but Shea knew it really came down to what was probably a sponsorship and the fact that Jinkx could barely drive if the sun was glaring, she probably got tired of wearing glasses in the car, claiming always it made her look older than Bianca.

"You’re really hilarious for someone who can’t even stay awake doing a simple task, why do you think I only give you the exciting shit? It’s not because I love you, it’s because I know you won’t fucking sleep and pass out on the concrete.” The Auburn haired woman had to laugh, gently clutching Bianca’s arm, Jinkx knew the mutual love and respect they had shared for over two decades was enough to make her atleast go a bit easy on the Seattle native, she twirled her own auburn hair around her fingertips before giving a blank stare at Shea, who turned and met her eyes.

Jinkx wasn’t exactly sure what to think of Shea just yet, she had been very promising and apparently Bob’s word of her was so generous and so incredible that Bianca already trusted her with Katya: Manila had been scared after only meeting her at Bianca’s own living space, though she had a few, once a few boys and drugs got involved so to see someone as new as Shea being trusted to handle the dirt and task to come was definitely terrifying and impressive enough.

“You nervous?” Bianca asked, crossing her legs as Shea’s eyes darted away from Jinkx, her hands interlocking with themselves as she shut her eyes, running a hand through her hair. “A little, but nothing I can’t handle, I’m here to show I’m ready for the job.” For someone who had only joined five months ago she was definitely a shining beacon of what the future was in store atleast that was how Bob put it and Bianca would definitely trust her word.

“Well, don’t stress yourself out before we’ve gotten there.” Was the only piece of truth Bianca could offer before she turned away from Shea who only gave a polite nod, wishing deeply she had just been sent with Aquaria and Violet instead, she had heard a lot about the infamous Katya Zamolodchikova.

Katya Zamolodchikova who had been in prison for drug abuse, Katya who had escaped Russia due to her family and the growing and rampant terror of government, Katya who now was a mogul in the Eastern United States for her line of casinos, clubs and whatever downtrodden thing she could possibly imagine, living on her own and hanging around at her own established area’s, staying hush and quiet about any business or disappearance of men or women who had messed with the wrong people. 

All she had to do was laugh or smile and she had anyone who was willing around her finger, her thick and curly long blonde hair covering almost all her beautifully and consistently painted face, wearing lots of lace and lingerie on her downtime and spending her growing fortune on beauty products, animal charities, her new projects and sometimes saving a stack or two for Bianca who had helped her break into the business and gave her a place when she was just a bedridden, ill immigrant, lost in New York City and barley able to communicate in proper English.

“I miss Katya!” Jinkx pouted, smiling at the thought of seeing her fellow Eastern European at her own club, she knew the meeting was for business but nothing a pack of cigarettes couldn’t do for sweet and dear Katya, Bianca had already figured out every mark and weakness she had and she really would be a difficult character to crack if it wasn’t for the fact she is the reason the bitch could even communicate in English. “I don’t.” Bianca laughed, hitting Jinkx before coughing and handling herself up again realizing Shea was still in the car and she had to keep up that “leader” and “supreme boss” act up. 

✧*。

The three exited the car, Bianca giving her driver direct and clear instructions when and where to come before he was on his way off, she walked in the middle of Shea and Jinkx, the latter auburn haired woman adjusting her dress and making sure it hit the floor in just the right light before she shook a bit to ease her own personal stress and begun walking closely to Bianca, Shea following in pursuit, knowing better than to open her mouth and ask questions. 

Music blasting, lights dimmed, flashing and bright colors everywhere, alcohol splattered on the floor everywhere they seemed to look and the constant image of people grinding or kissing or attempting to dance: this was definitely Katya’s club and her own doing.

Bianca’s heels hit the tile of the hallway right next to club, her two girls following, many knew this as the gateway from the Club to the Casino or vise versa but the hallway also housed dressing rooms for any kind of entertainment that showed up, Katya took after these rooms like her own and had even converted one into her personal space, knowing her entire life was work and the occasional times she went home and didn’t have to ring down ten shots of vodka. 

A smattering knock from Jinkx, credit to her, had the Russian cursing before she opened the door and her dull and otherwise threatening expression changed into a soft smile, her eyes raising in surprise as her lashes fluttered, shrieking then which made Shea almost collapse into the pavement in surprise, still grasping the door handle she quickly pulled the three of them in and locked the door— Bianca impressed with how well decorated and insulted the room was. 

The Russian quickly grabbing Bianca in her arms and laughing wholeheartedly, the two giggling and rowdy like two high schoolers, “красивая женщина!” She cooed in Russian to her dearest and nearest friend before taking Jinkx and planting a kiss on both of her cheeks as she reciprocated the favor, “красивое платье.” Jinkx flushing and waving her off, knowing more than enough Russian to realize she called her dress beautiful, “Спасибо!” The half-Ukranian replied with a soft glow across her face, Katya wearing nothing but a gorgeous red, feathered sheer robe with a thick black bra and spandex.

“Looking like a whore as usual.” Bianca teased as Shea stood a bit awkwardly, not exactly knowing how and when to introduce herself to the not-so-mysterious Russian mogul. “Oh yes!” Jinkx clapped noticing Shea, “Katya, this is Shea, she works for us and is a very good and promising employee." 

They shook hands though Katya was never into the formality, she’d rather kiss someone on the cheek than shake their hand and hope the other person didn’t have a strong grip. "Any friend of Bianca is of course a friend of mine, I trust you are new? I have yet to see or hear of you around.” Her sniffing was absolutely correct, Bianca explaining she was of Bob’s finding and is very dedicated to her line of work and extremely intelligent. “Likes leather to boot.” The comment from the blonde referring to her skin-tight leather emsmeble, “I like it!” She slapped Shea’s shoulders and flashed that endearing and famous Katya smile.

“Thank you, it’s a pleasure." 

The four of them sat before Katya stood again, pouring four glasses of genuine Russian vodka she had gotten yesterday from her deliveries, "Just some taste of the motherland!” Handing a glass to the other three they cheered and took down the shot, Katya giving herself another sip straight from the bottle just for fun.

“So of course there is some business to speak of, we love you but we have a task to finish.” Bianca spoke first, Katya leaning in her chair and staring curiously, “Well yes, it’s what you must do, please tell me more.” Bianca opened her mouth before giving a signal for Jinkx and Shea to leave, an unusual turn of events they both gave eachother a disheartened look before they stood and went out the door, Bianca scooting closer to Katya, “I want them out because this goes back to you." 

"To me? Has my family finally caught up to me and the Russian government wants the money I stole back?" 

"Not exactly but I fear it has something to possibly do with your sister." 

Katya’s face bleached itself white, her breathing a bit slower but her heart racing almost three times as fast, her greatest and only fear in life wasn’t being killed, death, nothing like that; it was her sister being in harm and somehow poking herself at the underground and what was there, Sasha had majored in forensics and political science last Katya had heard, their brief and discreet conversation during their mother’s funeral at St. Petersburg more than enough of an indication that Sasha would absolutely become some kind of hero, politician or worse— detective.

"Bianca you swore to me she would never, ever get hurt or wind up in your cases.” The tone in her voice nothing but pure anger and disappointment, Bianca quickly grabbed her hands and shook her head, “And I’m keeping that promise, I’m a cold hearted bitch but jesus christ, you know I would never do that shit.”

The Russian breathed a much needed sigh of relief before letting go of her hands, “So what, I’m guessing she is a detective now? My worst fear.” Bianca could only nod and see Katya’s eyes flash with nothing but utter fear and worry, she knew that meant her sister was safe but at a distance— they weren’t going to just dismiss her and go easy if she tried to harass and meddle in what she didn’t need to even if she was Katya’s sister but: the promise would always be kept, Katya was absolutely sacred and her sister was untouched territory, that’s how it would stay.

“She is but from our files it shows she really hasn’t broken out on us specifically, she is doing the easy work, not the dirty work, anyone can take someone to court for a single count of murder and analyze the results." 

"So what about her is so important then?" 

Bianca snuck a file folder covered in sticky notes, throwing it to Katya for her to open and investigate herself.

"We need you to help us out and pull some strings." 

✧*。

Shea had decided to take the chance as she walked herself over the casino, knowing Bianca was someone who would take her sweet, sweet time if she was talking business and things with Katya: Jinkx insisting on just staying by the club and getting alcohol. Giving herself a grand tour, Shea gagged at the sheer amount of wealth and power and beauty the casino showed off, clearly Katya was intent on showing every penny she had put into her business and buildings, it showed from the outside to the inside.

Alcohol was the only thing really on her mind and she wanted to overpay for a speciality cocktail to atleast make herself feel a bit fancy and important, not wanting to be in the club lights and blasting music, the Casino had music but was definitely not loud and not obnxious party and dance music, it was a nice welcome in the moment.

Her eyes immediately caught eye of a stranger, short haired, curly blonde and tall who was leaning against the bar and speaking to someone next to her who had long, thick and black hair. The blonde’s soft gaze almost instantly gravitating Shea towards her, she prayed that she wasn’t married and this wouldn’t be awkward fast, she simply wanted a drink and the opportunity to buy her one. 

"Excuse me.” Shea spoke up, gently tapping the blonde on her shoulder, she turned in the barstool and her eyes met with Shea’s and the two completely melted, Sasha incomprehensibly silent before Adore nudged her a bit, smirking seeing her new co-worker and fellow friend so caught in midst of the gaze. 

“Oh I’m sorry, that was so rude.” The Russian speaking up once Adore gently shook her out of it, the two smiling at eachother as Sasha leaned on the bar counter, telling that the mysterious and new girl clearly was struggling to speak, “I…" 

Shea put her hands around her own waist and gave a glistening grin and wink, sliding in-between her and her friend, Adore raising her hands a bit frustrated that she might already turn into the third wheel. "I was wondering if I could buy you a drink." 

"I would be very glad if you did." 

Thank god, Shea begun to calm a bit, pulling out an 100$ bill and sliding it to the bar tender who quickly took it and waited for whatever drinks they wanted to purchase, "I just want straight vodka.” She must’ve been Eastern European judging by her choice in alcohol, it wasn’t sterotypical, it was just what she had come to understand from Jinkx and barely meeting Katya twenty minutes ago. Not to mention the not too obvious but still noticable punch of an accent

“Gin and tonic.” She instructed while still staring at Sasha, entranced, she was already breaking ten rules in the non-existent handbook of being in the mafia but not like Bianca was even wondering where she was, if she was she would’ve called anyway. “I’m Sasha.” She giggled, Shea taking her hand and giving a small wink in reply, “Shea." 

Adore didn’t know whether to throw up and just leave, let her be or see where this went but she decided on the usual, giving Sasha a discreet tap of the shoulder, a nod from her and she was off on her on.

Ten minutes of aimless strolling had showed that Scarlet and Courtney were both gambling as if they had any good amount of money to lose so freely, flying by the hem of their dresses. But they genuinely seemed to be loving their lives and the game they were playing.

"Oh shit!” She yelped, feeling herself fall into someone as she stared backwards, not paying attention to whatever was in front of her, an entire bag dropped but she more focused on helping out the poor person she had knocked down.

“Jesus Christ!” Yelled the other, distinctly female voice, before Adore gently took her hands and helped her up, making sure she didn’t trip on her heels before they both begun to speak, quickly letting go of their hands. 

Bianca couldn’t help but glance at her, she was gorgeous. She would usually rip someone in fishnets to pieces and destroy them on sight but damn she looked good and everything fit her to a t, clearly she had her own eye for fashion, her dark eyes and dark hair only helping her to blend in with the dark wall of the casino, “I’m sorry, I really didn’t watch where I was going—" 

"I know, I know, I got that.” Bianca dusted herself off and only hoped her heels didn’t suffer any damages, they were expensive and a gift from Raja which meant she either bought them or stole them but either way, same attachment to the perfectly snug white heels. Adore snapped back, “I’m sorry?" 

"Listen don’t worry about it, really, thank you for your help.” Bianca raced off as fast as a normal person could look trying to run in heels across a casino at night but Adore blinked, finally shying her eyes away from the woman. 

She was beautiful. 

Black hair, styled very nicely to add onto the overall package, white heels, a tulle skirt and either handsewen or what Adore assumed was designer for a sequined top that matched and coordinated so well with her entire outfit, she was either the most important person in the world and Adore was oblivious or she was just someone’s arm candy for the night who needed to make themselves into a beauty queen for the occasion.

Adore didn’t believe too badly in many things but she would definitely pray and hope that somehow, somehow she could find that same girl again, someday

[tots-n-chocs]

‘Acrophobia’

Fandom: Venom (movie 2018)

Ship: Symbrock (Eddie/Venom)

Tags: Fluff, Stargazing, These losers are adorable but their banter is hilarious too, Venom tries to work on Eddie’s fear of heights, He goes about it all wrong, But maybe it works out OK in the end, Symbiote cuddles.

AO3 Link: [Here!]

(My other Symbrock fic: ‘Skin-Deep’)

(Please leave a kudos or a comment on the AO3 version if you enjoyed it <3 thanks! Happy Valentines!)

------------

The stars had never seemed so bright, so close, so... beautiful. Despite the racing of his heart and the shaking in his legs, that much Eddie could admit. But still...

“I- uh- I don’t see why you think that exposing me to heights is gonna get rid of my fear. It’s one of those... those kinds of ‘so you don’t die’ fears. Evolutionary. Y’know?” Eddie squeezed his eyes shut as a cold, fierce gust of wind blew straight through his thin sleeping t-shirt. He shivered more violently, trying to will his legs to move backwards, but Venom had locked them in place at the edge of the building.

I thought this was called Exposure Therapy, a reply rumbled into his mind, with something almost like an internal huff, so you’d learn to ignore your broken human evolution and remember that I would never let you die.

That’s not really how it works! Eddie tried to yell internally, his throat closed with fear.

Venom’s irritation at the situation buzzed in the back of Eddie’s head. Sometimes it was easy to forget that everything the symbiote had learned of humanity was from his previous hosts at the lab, Eddie himself, or the terrible television he watched while Eddie slept. Even when he grasped a concept, he sometimes didn't fully appreciate that there was a deeper meaning, social constructs to consider, or that what applied to one human may not apply to another. He was getting better, but it was so much for an alien to learn in such a short amount of time that he occasionally fucked up. Like right now.

Eddie swallowed thickly and opened his eyes a crack, feeling his stomach clench at the sight of the lights of cars moving around like tiny glowing insects far, far below him. At least Venom had taken them to a roof so high up that nobody would be able to see him standing there on the edge. He didn’t know how he’d have explained ‘no, I don’t want to kill myself, but my symbiote partner who lives inside me thought he could cure my phobia by making me experience my fear in the middle of the night’ to the police.

Is that not a good enough explanation? The deep voice was almost apologetic in tone, and Eddie felt a slightly guilty shifting feeling below his chest. I thought this would help. The show I watched on fears said this would help, Eddie.

His legs moved on their own, retreating him back into the middle of the roof and he let out a relieved breath.

Venom moving his limbs was a sensation he was gradually getting used to; it felt like when he’d wake up with a numb arm because he’d slept on it funny, and he’d move it around to get the blood flowing back into it again, even though he couldn’t feel the sensation itself. (He’d given the same explanation to Anne once when she’d asked how it felt when Venom piloted his body without covering him, but judging by her expression it wasn’t a particularly good analogy.)

Wrong train track again Eddie.

Eddie made an impatient shushing sound, fighting a sudden smile, the familiar jab and reaction from them both tapping into something comfortable and stable that helped to push his pulse-racing fear away. He'd tried to explain the phrase ‘train of thought’ to Venom one lazy afternoon after getting annoyed at himself for letting his mind wonder while he should have been working. Venom had since taken to pointing out when Eddie’s thoughts were ‘on the wrong train track’ – not quite the correct use of the phrase, but he knew what he meant. Didn’t mean he appreciated his easily distracted nature being pointed out all the time.

Eddie shook his head, returning to his symbiote’s confusion.

“I mean, if your fear is- like- spiders or something, I’ve heard that holding them can help, but I don’t think waking up in the middle of the night standing on the edge of a building is quite the same, V.” His voice still ringed with a note of fear, but now that he was away from the ledge, he was feeling considerably calmer.

No reply came, but a guilty shifting fluttered in his chest that made Eddie feel like he’d swallowed butterflies. He coughed lightly in an involuntary response to try and ease the strange sensation and placed his palm over his heart. “The thought was there,” he conceded softly.

Quiet.

Oh, Venom was definitely feeling bad.

Something heavy sat in Eddie’s gut.

He sighed and slowly lowered himself onto the middle of the concrete roof so that he was lying flat on his back, like he did when he was meditating.

What are you doing? Don’t you want to go back?

“Well, yeah, but I figured since we're here now anyway and the sky is so clear we could do a bit of star-gazing or something,” he said sincerely, laying his hands on his stomach. “Besides, I can’t see how high up we are from here. I’ll just pretend we’re on the ground.”

Hm, Venom didn’t sound convinced, you’ve never been interested in stars before. Why would you want to look at them now?

He considered this for a moment before replying with a soft, “Compromise.”

No, he didn’t really want to be high above the city at who-knows-how-late-o’clock, but there they were anyway. The memory of the appreciation and peace Venom had felt when they’d been on top of the network building when they’d first met hummed back to him in echoes. ‘Your world is not so ugly after all’ he’d admitted softly. To an alien that lived amongst the vastness of the universe, heights really must be no big deal. If anything, Venom seemed to like them, especially when it showed off the lights of San Francisco glinting through the darkness like a universe at his feet.

Eddie knew his fear must seem so confusing and unnecessary, especially when it went against everything Venom kept on telling him about catching him and never letting him get hurt. He didn’t want Venom to think that his fear was a result of a lack of trust. He knew his partner would never, ever let him fall without catching him – he had Eddie’s infinite and unshakable trust. But something that ran so deep was hard to just switch off.

A low hum of understanding made the hairs on Eddie’s arms stand on end and he smiled goofily at the sky, letting out a breath of air that was nearly a laugh. Every time they truly came to an understanding with each other it felt like their heart was too big for their chest, pumping life and love love love around their body. Although they were a ‘we’ more than they were ‘Eddie or Venom’ they were still two individual souls in one body – they were bound to disagree and misunderstand each other. They’d had vastly different experiences in life to shape them into who they were. But when those souls were in synchrony with each other, it felt so amazing and so natural that Eddie wondered how he’d ever felt any kind of closeness with a human being.

“You should have just asked, V. Never mind what the TV said. I think that stuff’s bad for you, I should sell it and just buy you a load of books or something.”

The vibrations from Venom’s rumbling laughter ran all the way through Eddie, right into his toes. Empty threats, Eddie. We know how much you love the reruns of your ‘Gilmore Girls’.

Eddie sighed dramatically, though he couldn’t quite push away the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Damn, you got me there. Fine. The TV stays.”

No matter how many times you re-watch it, Lorelai and Luke still won’t get married.

“Oh, owch, you really went there?! Straight for the jugular, man, why would you say that?” Eddie groaned loudly, though he could barely hear himself over laughter so low and continuous it was practically a purr. “I thought we would have this romantic look at the stars together, why would you hurt me in this way.”

“Would never hurt you Eddie.” Venom’s voice was right below his ear, close enough to feel the light touch of teeth against his skin. “We can be romantic.”

Eddie hadn’t even noticed how cold the concrete had been through the thin material of the shirt he slept in until the gritty hard coolness against his back was replaced with something considerably more comfortable, as his whole body was lifted slightly to accommodate the solid, yet strangely soft, warm and impossibly broad chest of Venom. Two thick, huge arms gently wrapped around his middle so that he was now lying on Venom’s chest, encased in his arms. Safe. Loved. Treasured.

Teeth nipped gently at his ear again and Eddie sighed contentedly, letting his whole body relax into the embrace.

It was nice to be physically close like this, plus it took away all the chill of the night-time wind.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Venom was so comfy, and Eddie could feel both his own happiness and a warm, happy glow that wasn’t his. He thought that being able to vaguely grasp Venom’s feelings was a little bit like an ‘emotional echo’. Something that did and didn’t belong to him; the pleasure of being held and the pleasure of doing the holding.

“Your Earth stars are very boring,” Venom declared, making Eddie open his eyes – he’d nearly fallen asleep.

“What?”

“They only shine with a few colours through your toxic atmosphere. And they’re so small.”

Eddie resisted the urge to laugh, always amused by how much Venom resented Earth’s oxygen just because he couldn’t breathe it, and he frowned playfully. “Hey, you leave our stars alone. They do a good job.” He paused and lines creased his forehead as he considered something else the symbiote had said. “Wait…. Stars are only one colour, right? What do you mean, they only shine with a ‘few’?”

“Like this.”

Eddie blinked and yelped. He would probably have fallen off Venom if his strong arms hadn’t been holding him tightly. The sky had been pretty before – distant stars shining with a white light – but now it was absolutely glorious. Greens and pinks sparkled in an ocean of shifting blues, and they were everywhere, the sky was full of them, even thought they were still very distant and very tiny. It was like looking straight into a galaxy from a movie. “Shit,” Eddie breathed in awe, “how…?”

“Made your eyes like mine,” Venom rumbled gently beside Eddie’s ear. It made him shiver and he could feel the toothy grin in response.

“Wow.” Eddie tilted his head a little, his cheek pressing into Venom’s. “Love you, V,” he whispered.

The reply vibrated in his mind, through his whole being, I love you too, Eddie. Always.

He smiled and laughed as Venom’s very wet tongue slid across his chin and up his cheek. “Ew, V!” He squirmed, but Venom only held him tighter, his claws pin-points of pressure at his sides. Amusement bounced between them in their emotional echo space again.

Once Venom’s tongue had retreated, leaving a trail of drool drying on his skin (again), there was a pause while Eddie enjoyed lying in Venom’s arms, and looking at stars he could never even have imagined, until he said, “That cluster of stars looks like a dog. With a wonky leg.”

“Mmm.”

“Seriously? Does everything make you hungry?”

“Those stars look like a lung.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Eddie laughed.

“Hungry, Eddie.”

“Ok, ok, let’s go home.”

With another blink his vision returned to normal. Venom squeezed him even tighter and then retreated under his skin, using tendrils to push Eddie upright gently to his feet.

Without Venom’s bulk holding him close Eddie shivered as the wind cut through his thin clothing again, until black seeped out of his skin and hugged his torso, shielding him from the cold. Whether he was in a humanoid shape or not, the warmth he felt in his chest was the same.

Shall I get us down? Or are we using the lift?

Eddie ran a hand over the shifting, liquid like mass covering him as he glanced back up at the sky. It was starting to look a little lighter on the horizon, was the sun going to rise soon? They needed to get back. He bit his lip as he considered something crazy. His whole body was still thrumming with happiness and contentment.

“Y’know what… maybe your exposure therapy worked… I think I’m going to do what you said last time,” Eddie began.

There was a spike of glee across their bond, and Venom’s form rippled beneath his hand. Last time?

“Yeah. When we were up like this before you said ‘jump’.” Eddie took a huge breath and ran towards the edge of the building, pushing all thoughts of heights and falling and death out of his mind and just let trust and love fill him. “Catch me!” he yelled into the rushing wind as his foot shoved him off the roof, leaping into the void of nothing but air.

Always.

[prettylittlebrownskingyal]

I hv this college AU in my head where all the bat kids (of age so i guess no Damian) are in uni and meet/hang with the teen titans and young justice bunch Wally snd Dick do sports together, Steph and Duke judge from afar while fooling around with board games. Jason and Victor Stone play beer pong idk i fuck with it

Note: you know, I was just gonna say YES, I LOVE THIS and then my dumbass brain went, “Write a thing. Write a thing. Write it hoe.” so here’s 1.5k of utter madness.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption. Lot’s of it.

He may not remember how he made it back into his bed, with only one shoe, no socks and glitter in his hair. But he definitely remembers how it all started.

The break begins with Dick banging on his door at the ass crack of dawn, a disgruntled Tim in tow and a bellini in hand.

“Carpe diem, baby bro.”

They fumble their way through making breakfast, keeping Alfred on facetime even with all the swearing and cursing and dropped utensils. Damian pops across the screen from time to time to whine about being bored at home and mock their collective incompetence.

It’s a huge spread; they’re cooking for mostly college athletes, after all. Dick goes around forcing extra bits of bacon and pancakes and fruit onto the freshman’s plates. Bart and Jaime dig in earnestly, but Tim takes an extra dose of coaxing because he’s too stubborn for his own good. Dick persists though, roping in a sagely Steph to remind Tim that he’ll probably be the first one to pass out anyways.

“Hey. Hey! No assignments at the table, today’s about getting wasted.”

Raven flips Wally the bird, slapping her laptop closed and leaning over to slip it back into Kory’s tote.

“Do something productive,” Garfield says. “Take this and knock it back. Show us who’s boss.”

She leers at the offered beer with disinterest. “It’s not even 10 yet.”

“Exactly, daylight’s burning.”

“I seriously doubt our only goal today is to just get wasted.” Duke’s worried voice draws the attention of all the seniors. They exchange amused glances over his head.

“You poor, innocent little bean,” Zatanna says, throwing her arms around him. “You’re in a frat house full of NCAA athletes and scholastic decathlon nerds who don’t get the chance to drink for most of the semester. Today is absolutely about getting wasted.”

***

He’s somewhere between buzzed and tipsy. Happy in the warmth of the sun.

It’s the first time in a while that he’s felt the tension of school slip away from his shoulders. His assignments are done, his family and friends are all around him and he’s having the time of his life watching Cass mix extra vodka into the already triple spiked rum punch. It’s both disgusting and delicious. And judging from the way Kon’s draped himself over Tim in a nearby lawn chair, it acts fast.

Barrelling straight towards blackout drunk for no other reason than the glory of college is an utterly fascinating idea and Jason finds it hilarious how willing most of them are to participate.

Dick’s already been amped up to giggly and incoherent. He and Wally are hunched over a phone, snickering at something Jason hopes is just the front camera opened up to their stupid faces.

“Here you go, buddy.” Roy’s voice grabs his attention as he passes over a plastic-wrapped sandwich to him. “You good?”

It’s the third time he’s asked for the day. Despite the fact that Jason is kinda wasted, he knows that Roy’s probably a little uncomfortable being around most of the people he loves, watching them get hammered while he’s stone cold sober.

“Yeah. You?” he asks through a bite of tuna on whole wheat.

“Peachy. Wanna go let Steph and Babs crush our asses at poker?”

****

“Can we go get fro-yo?”

Tim’s voice is soft and buttery, the way it gets when he’s shit-faced. Jason can hear Kon murmuring in agreement and Duke’s firm denial over the base of a Rihanna song. They’re a mess of gangly legs, draped over each other on the lumpy couch. He’s so caught up in watching they way their alcohol-induced affection is driving Duke up a wall that he misses Raven taking her turn.

He groans as the ball lands in a red solo cup. Kory grins wildly, hooking her chin over Raven’s shoulder; their both wearing looks of smug victory and he just knows he’s going to have the worst hangover tomorrow as he plucks another half-filled cup between his fingers, forcibly gulping down the amber liquid it holds. Vic slides over for his turn. He throws the ball and lets out a hiss as it misses the cup in the middle of the table, completely. Garth gives Jason a sympathetic head shake as he steps up to throw back the beer.

“It’s not fucking fair. How are you both star football players, bro? You guys suck at this.”

Vic laughs, pointing a finger at him. “I’m letting that slide because you’re the one throwing back my drinks for me.”

“Hey,” Raven intones. “It could be worse, Kory wanted to do this with tequila.”

“I’m actually hoping to leave college with my liver intact. Please, and thank you.”

Steph’s laughter, bubbly and sharp, cuts over the music. “Remember in freshman year when you got high and asked me how likely it was you’d survive a liver transplant?”

“You’re in med school, I thought you would know!”

She still laughing at him when she turns back to the complicated game of jenga she and Cass have had going for the past hour. He’s way too mellow to even begin to understand it, but he strongly suspects Cass is cheating.

***

Somewhere along the lines of beer pong and pizza Artemis Crock and Cissie King-Jones, the ace co-captains of the archery team, talk Duke and Tim into doing shots. He watches for a good ten minutes before he’s suckered right in alongside them. When Tim does inevitably pass out, Kaldur— who’s sober and very amused— lugs him off to bed.

That’s right along his memory get’s fuzzy. He knows there was dancing. He remembers being tugged along by Kory, yelling Beyoncé lyrics at the top of his lungs as he’s sandwiched between his siblings and his friends.

There are flickers of Kyler Rayner doing body shots and double dog dares with Mia Dearden and Connor Hawke. He has a video on his phone of Bart doing a keg stand while Wally looks on with a mixture of horror and pride plastered across his face. There’s a whole album of Dick trying to pet a stray cat, his nose red and the pictures getting blurrier and blurrier as his allergies set in.

After that, he thinks it was suggested that they all go outside to watch the sunrise. Someone— one of the redheads — had placed a steadying hand on his back as he swayed from foot to foot. He’s pretty sure he confessed his undying love to them.

****

When he does wake up, it’s because his head feels ready to fall off his shoulders and his mouth tastes like ass. The whole house stinks of sweat and the floors are sticky with spilt drinks. He bumps into Kon in the hallway, they exchange withering stares and a fist bump before parting ways.

He finds everyone in the kitchen— with the exception of Roy, whose a chipper bastard— in a similar state of dissonance with their bodies. Dick’s got his head in Kory’s lap and his feet in Wally’s. Tim sits across the table from them, staring at a glass of water like it personally offended him and Steph’s on the floor to the left of him, forehead pressed to the fridge. She has glitter in her hair too.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Roy laughs. “You look like shit warmed over.”

“Thanks, man.” He spares him a glance, “Did you put me to bed last night?”

“I did,” Kory answers, her voice rough like gravel.

“Thanks, dude. Where’d my shoe go?”

“Dunno. Found you without it, I think.”

In the living room, Jaime’s lying face down on the couch with a pillow over his head, Bart keeps shuffling over to check his pulse and then back to the kitchen to gulp down water. Roy feeds them all toast and grins when a fresh-faced Cass breezes in through the doors. She plops a bottle of Advil onto the table gently and then sweeps away to watch the ensuing chaos.

“Me. First.” Tim growls, snatching it out of Dick’s hands.

Steph rouses herself then, looking around the room bleary-eyed. She clocks Jason and his head full of glitter, raising one hand to twist her fingers through her blonde locks, and then her other one to point at him like, “Hey, same.”

Donna drags herself in a little bit later. She immediately flings herself into a chair and drops her head down onto the table with a clunk that surely worsened her hangover headache. Vic and Kaldur, fairing better than the rest of them, snort through their breakfast as Roy peels off his sweatshirt to place it under her head.

He finds his shoe floating in the tub of quadruple rum-punch when their cleaning that evening. Garfield laughs so hard at him for a good ten minutes before clutching his skull and dropping down onto the porch steps, weakly.

At a quarter to four, Duke walks down the steps wearing the face of a man who knows nothing but utter betrayal.

“I’m letting you all know,” he calls. “I am not doing this again next year. I feel like death and I wanna call Alfred and cry.”

“Aw, Duke,” Dick coos. “Same.”

[randombtsprincessa]

Absinthe || 1

Author: Randombtsprincessa

Characters: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Summary: As the only weakness of a powerful man, you are subject to many dangers. Is the new boy at your academy one of them?

Warning: Mafia workings.

A/N: Welcome to my second drabble series!

The room was quiet, with the occasional ruffle of paper or a cough or someone clearing their throat. The five men sitting around the table were obviously nervous; their suits too stuffy and hot even in the air conditioned room. The walls, made of black glass reflected the interior ominously as each men kept their eyes firmly on the polished mahogany table, a black dossier in front of them all while a film projector, high class and top notch rested in front of it, ready to play anything and everything.

The man sitting at the head of the table however seemed at ease. His tall sleek body, clad in a similar suit was lounged in the largest chair, fingers poised on the table, fingers drumming out a soft patient beat while his face, devoid of any emotion watched his companions with something akin to amusement.

All through his entirety, the man’s face was the most interesting. Dark grey hair, pushed back from his face, black ominous eyes, hooded yet aware of everything, a high nose and thin lips that perpetually smirked. He was a dangerous man and everyone in the room knew it, his reputation preceding him hilariously.

He had seen everything, been through everything and he had commandeered everything from singular assassinations, contracted massacres, hijacks and raids of epic proportions, you name it. He also dabbled in the less savory aspects of the underworld trade; kidnappings, minor shootings, jailbreaks…

He had every crime in his pocket, and he was the very best, each syndicate passing personally through him before being relegated to his…office, for lack of a better term.

There was nothing the Master hadn’t seen or were not willing to do, for the right prices of course and the men sitting in front of him now were one of the wealthiest, even if the means of gaining that wealth was questionable. He didn’t judge, of course, he never judged. He just negotiated, settled and then got things done.

He also liked impact, especially the one he made. He maybe a criminal mastermind but he was still a gentleman and if a gentleman didn’t make you sit up and notice, what was the point? He knew he was making the five bosses sweat through every pore of their bodies and he liked watching them squirm. It made them realize, he couldn’t, wouldn’t be trifled with.

His presence was the true power in this conference room.

Finally when he was bored with making them shiver in their chairs, he straightened himself, turned the chair to properly face the room and smiled; a thin, cobra-like smile, one which was even more frightening than his somber face.

“Gentlemen, if you are done collecting your wits, may we proceed?” he asked, a deep, bass resonating in the room.

There was a flurry as chairs were pushed up, files opened and the projector clumsily switched on till grey filled the black screen. The Master steeple his fingers watching the image of a man pop on the screen.

His eyebrows didn’t raise but he knew the man. Everyone knew the man. He was the once up and coming business man of a large corporation who now held almost everything the small but flourishing city had to offer. Land, properties, stock, hospitals, schools, deeds, bonds; everything was at least sixty percent in this one man’s pocket. He was a hard worker, entirely white collar, and the Master had to admire that, he did. The man was a family man; his wife recently passed which had caused quite a media jumble, not only this city but almost the entire state.

“I suppose, you know who this man is?” the man at the first chair asked.

The Master inclined his head as the projector moved to another picture, this time a young girl, standing demurely next to her father.

She was probably ten or eleven, judging from the plaid skirt and sweater, combined with socks and shoes combo, barely reaching her father’s elbow as she looked anywhere but at the cameras that took pictures of her father cutting the ribbons of a new hospital.

The next photo featured the same girl with another woman, obviously her mother, they looked similar. She was older, her eyes bolder as she looked straight into the camera, her lips turned down in annoyance. The look of disdain made the Master’s lips raise in amusement as well as the picture changed again.

The girl was grown now, probably an adult. She’d grown into herself, he supposed, studying the stance of her walk, dressed perfectly, her phone held up to her ear. She hadn’t seen the camera in this one or in the next thee photos, all taken of her doing regular things; eating with some boys, laughing while walking next to girls, and the last, hailing a cab.

The screen turned black again and the dim lights came on as one of the men pushed an open dossier in front him, the pictures there and sheets of information.

“The man we just showed you, Y/L/N, that girl is his daughter.”

“Obviously,”

There was nervous throat clearing.

“Yes, well, she’s the target.”

The Master’s eyes went up to the man’s. This was his first time ordering a strike, seeing as how he spoke as if talking to a lowly contract killer. He would’ve smiled pityingly at him but he was already interested in knowing their motives to engage in mockery.

“The girl, pray tell why?”

“Well, Y/L/N is our rival…he’s been over turning us for the last half decade. It’s time we changed that. The girl was in Paris all this time, kept away after her mother’s death but now she’s back to pursue higher education under her father. If we can press her nerve, we can get him to sign with us.” He said.

“You want my organization to kidnap her?” he asked.

“Well…”

“Let me get this straight, if I may, gentlemen, you’re saying that this girl, once kidnapped will lead to her father, one of the most powerful men in this city to sign with you all and you think he’s stupid enough to not figure it out? Let me remind you, while this office does work for the lesser minded ones, it’s proficiency goes beyond your fickle hostage play.”

The Master leant back, smiling coldly at the flushed look on their faces.

“Well, what would you suggest?” one of the smaller men asked.

“Harmless Intrusion,” was the immediate answer.

He sighed when he was met with blank faces.

“The girl is new here, isn’t she? She has no idea what to expect of changed times. She will be vulnerable, easily pliable. I will set a course in which she will be plied to your wishes, if you so wish. She will be seduced, manipulated and coerced to force her father to sign with your workings, and as soon as said job is done, we will vanish into thin air. You will have your deals and the girl will learn not to listen to her heart in business matters. A little win-win for all,” the Master smiled benignly at the photo of the girl.

“Ah, yes, that will be best, no blood and no harm…” they muttered, not noticing the way the head’s face turned cold, irritated at their stupidity.

“Well, gentlemen, how about we discuss the pricing?” he asked.

“Wait, who will you send, what happens if she figures it out?”

The Master paused. “If she figures it out, she will be removed. As to who I will send, do not worry about it, it shall be the best. Please, let’s adjourn to the accounts room to see if your backgrounds have checked out and how I will be paid. I do have employees to pay salaries to.”

With that the conference room was abandoned, the dossier of photos still open.

The plane doors dropped open and the pilot held out a helping hand for me to step out on the deck. I took it out of politeness, too used to being treated like made out of glass to let it bother me anymore, even if it did bother me.

I blinked in the sunlight, looking down at the strip of private runway to see a long black limo already waiting for me at the end. Two men standing near the door, waiting with their hands clasped in front of them.

Great, I thought, just great Dad, you don’t even wait for me to come home before you make me feel like a freak. I should’ve never left Paris. I sighed, wondering if my father would hate me if I simply flew to private jet back to France.  

He wouldn’t hate me maybe; he doted on me, too much, especially now that Mom was gone…

I blinked, tossing the thought of my dead mother away into the back of my mind. It had been two years now…it was silly to still feel sad. I had things to do here; I couldn’t afford to be fragile.

I walked the stairs down, handing my bag to the waiting valet as one of the men, tall and broad shouldered stepped forward, taking off his shades and exposing the white wire wrapped around his ear. He was dark and extremely good looking, both of them were I noticed as the other one took off his sunglasses too, smiling slightly at me.

“Miss Y/L/N, welcome back home. My name is Kim Seokjin and my associate is Kim Namjoon; we’re your new bodyguards.” He said. His voice was low and smooth, eyes already watching me closely.

I glanced once at the other man, blond hair carefully jelled back then back at the taller brunette. “I’m sorry, I didn’t appoint any bodyguards.” I said, smiling sweetly.

The blond chuckled, earning a look from me and Seokjin. “Your father appointed us for you, Miss Y/L/N, but nice try.” He said, walking to open the door of the limo for me.

I watched as both men waited for me expectantly. I cast a longing look at the private jet and sighed in resignation before sliding in, the door shutting firmly after me.

Well then, I was officially home.

[believerindaydreams]

GBU rewatch followup

...cleaned up, readable version, now with fewer typos and after-the-fact commentary in parentheticals. 

things I am looking out for in particular:

- how to write trios 

- everything that Angel Eyes does (less than I thought, it turns out; I was bang on the money with “Animal Magnetism” having him only exist for Meaningful Moments)

- the state of Eastwood’s hair (with the hat you don’t really notice it except in the desert scenes, when it is Absurd)

- some of that sweet, sweet Morricone music because it’s the one part of the film that no amount of clever writing will adequately evoke and I love it to pieces (still true)

let’s do this thing then

like, the opening credits are pure stylish flair. That can’t be a book. It’s gorgeous. It’s perfect for what it is. has nothing to do with translation to a 70s au but that is entirely, utterly besides the point

Tuco’s “I have a gun in one hand and a dead chicken in the other” will never not make me laugh

SPAIN: specifically the Spanish landscape and how gorgeous it looks. it all sort of runs together, appropriation and reappropriation and Spain standing in for Mexico…oh hello Angel Eyes,  you look a lot more impressive than Tuco does. Nice entrance.

Also we don’t actually know at first that he’s The Bad? He’s just wandering into frame like he could be the Good cowboy or something, it’s not the music that tells you. It’s the way that the guy’s family respond to his presence and just Go without saying anything. Something about Angel def. invokes silence. No wonder he and Blondie get on.

…like, this whole scene where he’s like “I am going to enjoy your delicious soup but stare at you“ is actually hilarious? Like he’s def. got a sense of humour- it’s just that everybody looks subdued with Tuco in the picture.

There’s a very thin divide between the tension of comedy and the tension of “is he gonna kill me” and Angel Eyes just straddles all over that line.

I like you, Man Eating Soup. Too bad you gotta die now.

…yeah, I think my characterisation of “bounty hunter who keeps his given word but has no qualms” is bang on the money.

last time I didn’t notice how Lee’s voice shifts to being more amused when he’s about to do something incredibly violent. Or how great his voice was at all. Like that was clearly a mistake, he’s great.

Tuco! *hearts* With a trio of men surrounding him in a triangle. ‘m sure that’s thematic.

Clint sounds like Rowdy but more terse.

Oh hell I love the way that we get closeups on Tuco staring at things. I love characters who stare at things in general (cf. Stargate and a team who communicate by looks), and Leone delivers there.

“how much you worth now” and Tuco’s just lol I dunno.

oh Tuco you theatrical hooligan nobody believes your absurd accusations. also geez I couldn’t write that many swears if I spent all day over it.

That is a DAMN sexy wanted poster.

Forgot about Blondie calling Tuco “known at the rat” part. Hmm. I wonder what that’s about?

I always forget how choreographed the duo’s escapes are, like it’s not just shooting a rope, there’s a lot of effort that go into those.

you smug thing Clint. you smug thing. (I assume this was just one of his wry looks past the camera, as he does a lot).

does trans! Angel Eyes in the 70s smoke a pipe. Yes. Yes he does.

“even a filthy beggar like that has got a protecting angel” oh Angel Eyes you has a crush. also a pretty good sense for a scam- are we meant to infer that Angel and Tuco used to play this game? (Also he has correctly assessed Blondie’s Divine Status or whatever it is that keeps him clear of disasters.) 

the way that Tuco jumps on the horse is just. pure sex appeal.

“sawed off runt” Blondie gets in 1 insult but it actually means something, as opposed to Tuco doing 10,000 for the sake of the audience

I see what you did there with putting “the good” on screen just after Blondie abandons Tuco to die horribly in  a desert. I see it.

yeah, I thought I remembered Tuco saving up all the really good insults for Spanish.

(now that I know that Eli’s from Brooklyn, I can’t *not* watch a performance of a deeply pissed off New Yorker who’s in this godsforsaken desert for the dosh but refuses to budge an inch on being a fast talking SOB. The rapid fire line deliveries for sure.)

had forgotten this bit about Angel slapping around a girl….

Aw, Tuco as soon as he finds water is A. drink some and B. play with it. awww you’re adorable Tuco

must go figure out what that thing Tuco wears on his hand is. also contemplate whether the 70s one wears braces.

yeah, like, “I got dumped so I’ll pull myself together and also drink this man’s crazy red liquor and take a hat cos I need a hat” that is peak Tuco right there.

no wait that wasn’t. What is is the exquisitely judged moment where he decides that the guy will probably want the liquor to drown his sorrows afterwards and leaves it.

I am very fond of the way that the war is presented as a disaster that is Happening but which none of the three leads give a __ about. The much maligned poster got that bang on the money.

everything looks so lived in, always, even though I assume they were building sets? Why can’t American westerns of the period look This Real, did they actually build houses or what

Blondie has vividly green eyes. Right then. Tuco’s are brown.

Tuco hires some backup to help him with Blondie. that’s…smart.

I think, actually, that Blodnie’s blue circle calico shirt is something he oughta wear in the 70s. It suits.

“your spurs” like a knight, ha. That’s a terrible gag, Blondie.

why is there so much blood on Tuco’s face. what was he doing to get banged up like that.

so he’s on a stool with a noose, with a gun pointed at him, and Blondie is still not acting like this is anything serious.

ohmigod I LOVE this bit with the cannon and the house collapsing. Hah. It seriously is like Blondie’s a force of nature though

Tuco tracks Blondie by favourite cigar stubs. Also smokes them after. Tempting to borrow that. (like they’re in bed together, Tuco steals his cigar, that kinda thing)

…is he. Is Tuco wearing flares in the 1860s. Yeah I think he is.

“I brought TWO guns” lol sure you did Tuco.

And Tuco winces when Shorty dies and is it like, two against one would make things too complex for him, or he’s mad that Blondie replaced him that fast, or what’s going on here that he let another man hang like that. Blondie doesn’t seem to mind much.

black horse = black car for Tuco.

Tuco mocking Blondie’s fair skin, like yeah there’s definitely a bit of a racial thing here.

“You’ll die. Very slowly, old friend.” also I have an umbrella ain’t it pretty

I think one of the reasons I glom on this film is because for all its length there is literally something happening every single minute. Like most films have dead time when I could, you know, breathe or something, but I haven’t stopped typing since I turned this on.

(the comedy sensibility there as well. You can’t have dead air when you’re writing comedy, things have to be leading somewhere. )

course at the moment the point is “look at this very big desert with two very small people in it”...here comes the whump. Clint sure knows how to lean into it.

sweet jesus Tuco with the sun behind you there you look like some kinda avenging 70s disco angel yourself. also the headband.

here comes the celestial music. here comes the cavalry. see, when Tuco gets into a mess he has to get out of it himself, but this is the second time that Divine Intervention has saved Blondie.

…gosh it’d be funny if that watch in the stagecoach was the Few Dollars More watch. I’m sure it ain’t.

Tuco’s not very good at interrogation. I’m sort of comforted by this, because it suggests he doesn’t do it very often.

when did Blondie get to the stagecoach. seriously when. (oh right it’s Leone. movement is a free action as long as it’s off camera)

that’s twice that Blondie’s called Tuco a rat though. what is about rats for Blondie.

maximum Clint hair fluff here. why do I have a thing for heroes with daft hair. tis daft.

I don’t think that New Mexico has goat skin waterbottles? Whereas they are all over the place in Spain. Hmm.

…okay, I have missed something. Why is Tuco wearing an eye patch now? Like, did he just look at Bill and say “that’s great I’m having that”. Anyway the way he forgets and shoves it up his face to look at the wall hanging is a hoot. (he keeps doing this like a kid playing pirates)

battle between “keeping on hat” and “oh I’m praying”- hat wins. Figures. 

Tuco still has a nasty cut on his face from before. Either this is very good continuity or Eli got hit by a brick during filming and it’s still healing. I honestly cannot tell.

Tuco genuinely doesn’t know nothing about Blondie’s past. Figures.

oh you *bastard* Tuco trying to exhort a deathbed confession. that’s probably his lowest moment in the whole movie actually- cos Blondie started it with the whole “let’s play who dumps who in the desert”

of course Blondie doesn’t fall for it. course he doesn’t. (I do wonder how much of this is Tuco wondering what Blondie will let him get away with.)

also there’s an implied passage of time during which Blondie thinks it’s hilarious to have Tuco fetch and carry for him. That tracks.

ohhhh and the Pablo scene like I have a lot of feels about this. mostly about the way that Tuco is genuinely happy to see Pablo and it all goes wrong, and I already write bits of this relationship into fics but aww…Pablo is genuinely disappointed. Tuco genuinely loves him.

(cannot tell whether Tuco shags a lot of girls or is angry with Pablo and wants him to think he shags a lot of girls. could go either way.)

BLONDIE WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS you creep

in which Tuco just straight-up makes up junk about his brother cos he has an audience. and Blondie goes along with it to the extent of giving him a cigar, and it’s- aw. actual partnership moment. for reals.

“god’s not on our side” yup, and maybe Blondie would have done something if he hadn’t been asleep? But I get the idea he’s happy to take cues from Tuco for improv. 

 Tuco’s “oh fuck” moment inf. relatable.

hello Angel. And our duo knows him, too.

…I, uh, honestly can’t figure out why Blondie thinks it’s a good move for Tuco to pretend to be Bill Carson. Like I honestly can’t see how they’d even think that was a thing to do unless they’d seen the movie up to this part. Like, Tuco and Blondie basically have to be plugged into the narrative to know to do anything here except keep their mouths shut and hope to get to Sad Hill at some point?

Angel Eyes is a practical bastard. Also a sergeant. heigh-ho.

these three definitely know each other and I can’t figure out how. What’s this friendship thing about? It is a mystery. (def Tuco and Angel have a past though. What kind?)

Also Tuco figures that Angel is gonna straight up poison him at first, so that couldn’t have been a wholly easy relationship.

…okay, I’ll have to have a scene where Tuco finally says “yes I think your being called Angel is a hoot”- it is, after all, Here.

Is it that Angel doesn’t like getting his hands dirty, or that it’s easier to fob off the trouble on somebody who does like it, or that he genuinely thinks that anyone less hefty than Wallace might not be able to shove around Tuco like this? mysteries.

I wonder what Blondie is thinking. The prison choir is the goddamn creepiest thing.

yeah, Blondie, you think you’re tough but I think you’d spill your guts out also if the alternative was gouging. That’s not Tuco being a coward, that’s just Angel Eyes treating the object of his crush/a stoic/the white guy better than Tuco. It’s not like there’s a Great Moral Principle at stake for Tuco not to talk or anything.

“We’re going for a ride” is like custom-built to be an Epic Catchphrase though.

…blood doesn’t puddle like that. Someone on production screwed up. (blood is always theatrical in this film. too red and technicolour.)

…where was I? Oh yes. Tuco’s now worth 3000 dollars and is proud of it.

And Wallace is enjoying hurting him. Wallace is exactly the type that Tuco doesn’t grok; hurt somebody because they hurt you, or because you’re mad at them, or they have something you want, but just for the sake of hurting, that I don’t think tracks for him.

(Tuco and Blondie’s scam sure has got around if Wallace knows it. I guess that could have been Angel who told him, but it’s…it’s more like this thing where everyone in the film knows things that were said on screen before? I’d have to do another watch to contemplate this, but the notion fascinates me.)

That “I can’t do it while you’re watching me” is almost cute. Like, obviously it’s a ploy to kill Wallace, but also, it’s cute.

Oh yes, the “we nearly killed Eli” scene”. Thank christ the man had a natural sense of self preservation.

Lots of people in this film wear sexy short cloaks. I love those. I want one of the trio to have on in the 70s, anachronistic or no- maybe Blondie? Dunno.

all three leads have a bit where they’re just spying on the other two. v. sexy.

I’d just like to note that as somebody who has infinite patience for wandering around deserted lonely locales, I love this desolation hotel scene.  

YES BATH SCENE, LOVE THE BATH SCENE

…dumping in all the nice bath salts cos he can. Completely undeterred by being a naked man in a bath facing a gun. continuing with the bath afterwards…

And also Blondie knows Tuco just by the gun. That’s not tracker smarts, that’s, um, divine inspiration.

kitten. Aw, you little kitten.

the way Blondie says “old friend” Angel Eyes actually suggests that it was Tuco who met Angel first.

“So that’s why you came to Tuco”. Yeah, I love mutually necessary relationships, and this one sure counts.

“I want that blond alive” yes we know Angel. We know.

“Were you gonna die alone” oh that IS shippy. 

sometimes Tuco crosses himself after a death, sometimes he doesn’t. there’s no apparent logic there.

the way that Blondie whistles and shoots a guy is max. cowboy aesthetic. also messed up.

Blondie seems cool with Tuco killing Angel. Okies.

(I guess he figures at this point that Angel will have to be waiting...)

I’d remembered the “it’s for you”. Had not remembered Tuco tearing up the paper after, but whatevers.

where does Tuco get all these hats. How? Does he just steal hats whenever he sees a new one?

Leone’s favourite trick of ‘things off camera don’t exist” is amazing. really it is. A whole army camp…

and really, this is all extra, they could just go ahead and have the cemetery duel now, but that’s not really the point.

Actually, Blondie does seem perfectly content to let Tuco do most of the talking when it needs to be done.

That whole bit with the liquor swigging- goes along with my notions of Blondie not actually being a very heavy drinker, Tuco being more enthusiastic. also I do like Tuco’s genuine “really?!” upon being told he could make colonel, like this is the first time somebody’s told him he could be something other than a priest or a bandit, and maybe he would have gone for it if he wasn’t hip deep into the 200,000 thing.

And the mutual Blondie/Tuco “this guy’s insane” looks they swap when the captain’s not looking at them, tis fab.

it’s so weird that nobody in this camp is talking…until they start yelling.

Tuco’s notion of avoiding getting killed by cannon fire is to hide as far out of frame as he can. Given how Leone framing works, this is maybe not so dumb.

it takes the entire civil war for Blondie to render a moral judgement, i. e. war is bad. I feel like he’s obscurely irritated that circumstances have forced him to profess an opinion about something.

Hang on, didn’t Blondie learn the name of the cemetery from Angel Eyes earlier? Does he actually need Tuco at this point?

Blondie next to a big case that says “explosives” is…uh, very Bugs Bunny.

…oh, yeah, it does help having a partner to blow up the bridge. Right.

it is genuinely fun, though, watching these two work as partners. They’re very practical when they want to be.

Tuco taking several minutes to gulp his way into telling Blondie his half of the secret is…interesting. Trusting. And I suspect probably saves his life later. Cos Tuco’s right and blowing up this bridge is dangerous and one of them could easily die…and he is, for once, actually doing his best to do right by his partner in a completely stupid and insane world.

lighting your cigar on the explosives is also very Bugs Bunny.

Blondie, just cos Tuco went to sleep with his arse in easy kicking position doesn’t mean you have to kick it. Also I wonder what Tuco’s whimpering there.

and the young soldier scene. I have notions about the utility of Useless But Kind Gestures that I’ve been ranting about in various 1984 postings for a while, and Blondie gets one here. Oughta contemplate that at length later.

oh look it’s the cemetery. Tuco throws away his map.

…and three minutes go clean out of my head, as they do, because the simple fact is that even with the grave name this is a ridiculous task - how do you find one grave in all five thousand? and Leone is covering for it with a mystical quasi-religious invocation to get Tuco to where we need him to be. Thing is, it works on me. Can’t talk sensibly about the Ecstasy, there is is.

The framing of Angel Eyes coming in is epic, I gotta say. First person. Have we had any first person all film?

…but Blondie, why were you having Tuco dig up Arch Stanton’s grave when it’s the wrong grave, unless you knew Angel was coming? He knows Angel’s coming is all I can think of.

also I think we’re being asked to assume that Blondie took Tuco’s gun while Tuco was asleep with his arse in the air, unloaded it, then put it back, and then kicked him awake. dang if that isn’t a sequence I would have enjoyed Leone committing to celluloid.

okay, so. Three-way.

Tuco’s thinking “if one of these people is gonna shoot me, it’s probably gonna be Angel. So I’ll shoot Angel, and Blondie probably shoots Angel too, and then we see where we are. if they both shoot me I’m dead anyway.”.

Angel Eyes, I bet, is just figuring he should get off a shot at the better shooter first, and he figures that’s Blondie.

Blondie knows who has a weapon, so he just has to spin this out and make it look good for Angel Eyes. Easy. I wonder what he would have done if it wasn’t, though?

(we aren’t ever gonna know are we)

I can’t tell who Angel Eyes is trying to shoot with his last shot. I assume it’s Blondie, but the framing makes it hard to tell?

Tuco, you hafta bring all that money back to civilisation, wrecking the bags doesn’t help there.

Ah yes. The noose. Where did Blondie even get a noose? Is it worthwhile asking the question?

I spent a long time the first time I watched this, genuinely wondering if Tuco was gonna get killed. (I didn’t want Blondie to kill him.) And I was genuinely unsure…until I realised that we were setting it up just like old times, and Blondie was gonna have to shoot him free because he always *had* shot him free, and was always going to, and it was a oroubous of a movie. Which is all the more so in the day of easy DVD rewatching.

which is not to say I didn’t quiver when Blondie levels the gun.

anyway after all he’s been through, I think Tuco’s entitled to shout that last line.

whew!

and some followups for the notes 

...yeah, it definitely makes more sense for Angel Eyes to be an old acquaintance of Tuco’s (unless you’re writing a fic where Blondie is a Weird Force of Nature and trying to reconcile two different people’s connection to him is a driving force of the plot, but I’ll remember this for the Animal Magnetism sequel).

I guess that Tuco is definitely pretending to be Bill Carson, but why? How does that help them? (I assume Blondie doesn’t see the whole torture-by-Angel Eyes coming...)

Yeah, I can see Angel Eyes as someone who’s perfected his gunslinger because his hand-to-hand isn’t so hot. Tuco’s the one who’d probably win in a straight bar brawl, but unfortunately for him that’s not the movie he’s in.