#you know the best way to play like you have centauri all the time? just play the game

[risingsunresistance]

they really need to remove centauri because i know 400 of you are not on alpha to see the hoppity changes

[vintagetvstars]

My Babylon 5 thoughts

Here are my thoughts on Babylon 5 after watching it for the first time. I could talk for ages about this show but unfortunately that is too long for a text post (I tried going season by season but it was about as long as this post and I hadn’t even gotten to season 3 when I realized it was way too long). So I will try my best to keep it brief and just my overall thoughts.

Overall I really love this show! It’s definitely become one of my favorite sci-fi shows out there! Babylon 5 has an amazingly rich world full of life and inhabited by some of the best written and performed characters in all of sci-fi. I could talk forever about some of my favorite moments in the show and every single character but I’ll try to narrow it down to just a few, but know that there is so much else I love about it. There will be spoilers ahead!

Thoughts under the cut

What is there to say that I’m sure others haven’t already said about Londo and G’Kar and the relationship between the Narn and the Centauri and that arc the show takes us on. By far one of my favorite arcs and relationships on the show. The Narn and Centauri conflict played out through seasons 2 & 3 is chilling. G’Kar made me cry so many times not just in that story arc but in his own personal arc as he grew throughout the show. Londo’s story arc is haunting and a beautiful tragedy you can’t look away from. There relationship throughout the show and how it changes and grows as they do is something that will stay with me forever. Truly one of the best parts of the entire series! G’Kar specifically is one of my all time favorite sci-fi characters right up there with Kira Nerys! Just overall two of the best written and performed characters with some of the most compelling story arcs and relationship to one another that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing!

While the shadow war was the biggest thing introduced by the show and it was fascinating and overall very well done, I found the stuff going on with earth and the fight against the rising and eventual full on fascism there the most compelling major plot in the series. The whole earth fascism arc was really well done and just horrifying and eerie to watch unfold. I really don’t have more to say about it other than that it was so fantastically done and it speaks for itself and you should go watch it!

I also was extremely pleasantly surprised with the shows handling of religion and spirituality. So much of sci-fi disappointingly either entirely ignores it or exclusively uses it for their villains. Both have always been pretty disappointing takes for me and don’t take advantage of the kind of roll these things can take in peoples lives or their full storytelling potential. Babylon 5 plays with these concepts fully and beautifully and it makes the story, the cultures within it, and its characters so much richer getting to see how religion and spirituality are at play in this world. I still cry thinking about the end of the episode with the religious festival where Sinclair showcases all of earths religions, it was a beautiful moment and touching to see that in Babylon 5’s future all these different religions, ways of thinking, these cultures, still exist, we’re all still here and we are all very human and I found that beautiful.

I’ve said a few things I loved so I’ll quickly go over some of the things I found lacking or flawed before wrapping it up with the rest of what I loved.

While I know a lot of this is due to a lot of behind the scenes production issues, that doesn’t change the fact that this show had a huge issue with wasted characters. There are plenty of characters I liked that got their time cut short that I could talk about but I will only focus on the ones that I’m actively still mad about.

I hate what they end up doing with both Marcus and Lennier and their unrequited love storylines. It’s not even that they went with unrequited love storylines, there are plenty of ways I think they could have still written them with unrequited love storylines that weren’t the in my opinion absolute character assassinating ways they ended both their arcs. I liked Marcus and Lennier but they never used Marcus very effectively then just absolutely take him out in the worst way possible that not only was a disservice to him as a character but completely tainted Ivanova’s exit from the show and her blaze of glory moment which was really upsetting as Ivanova is one of my favorite characters in the series. And Lennier’s unrequited love was actually going in a direction I would have liked, loyal to the end friendship and love but then season 5 happened and they just completely ruined Lennier as a character and his and Delenn’s wonderful relationship of loyalty and friendship and a form of love up until that point. I am upset on behalf of both Marcus and Lennier as characters that didn’t deserve that and Ivanova and Delenn whose own story’s were impacted in the aftermath of these bad storylines.

The only other major thing that bothered me was season 5 and the subsequent movies and spin off not really going anywhere or getting wrapped up in any way. I saved the final episode to watch til last which really worked cause even tho a lot of the stuff introduced in season 5, the movies, and spin off don’t get wrapped up, the Finale was emotionally cathartic and wrapped the show up perfectly on an emotional level. It was just odd to me to introduce a bunch of storylines that weren’t going to get finished, and I get that a lot of it was due to production issues but they did know the show was ending so they could have avoided some of it. Still that was mildly annoying but I suppose I can hopefully find out what happened on some wiki articles or maybe some of the B5 novels.

Okay back to more things I loved for a B5 positivity sandwich! Can we talk about Alfred Bester?!?? I desperately want to go into detail about how much I love this character and especially how phenomenal the performance was but in case the actor gets nominated for the men’s bracket I won’t. I will just say Bester is one of the best Sci-fi villains I’ve ever had the pleasure to witness, right up there with Dukat on Deep Space 9. And it is the best showcase of acting skill and one of the best if not the best performance by the actor who portrays him (who I can’t talk about cause I don’t want to induce a bias but if you know you know)!

While I found a lot of the movies to be bad with some okay/funny bits, to good but flawed and unnecessary, I really adore B5’s spin off Crusade. While some of its early episodes weren’t the strongest they were still fun and enjoyable and its later episodes were great! The characters were delightful and it had an interesting set up and premise. I am genuinely really sad we only got a single season of Crusade as it was better than a lot of other sci-fi series first seasons that did go on to get multiple seasons. If I had a choice to bring back or renew one thing from the Babylon 5 franchise I would genuinely bring back Crusade so we could see a full finished series cause it was cut way too short and I would have loved to see a full series of it. It wasn’t as great as B5 overall but it was good and I really enjoyed it. Plus I had a childhood crush on one of the leads of the show who I won’t name in case anyone nominates any of the guys on this show for the men’s bracket but that certainly biased me towards liking the show 😅.

Also possibly unpopular opinion but I didn’t hate The Legend of the Rangers. It was definitely a bit cheesy and didn’t really feel like it fully fit into the B5 universe so I understand why it wasn’t picked up as a show. But it was fun cheesy for me, very Babylon 5 does Power Rangers and I totally would have watched it had it been picked up. But I also like Power Rangers and how cheesy it can be so maybe that’s just a me thing. I similarly loved the Vorlon encounter suits and the Mantis character from season 1 for similar reasons of them reminding me of the suits and puppet effects used on Power Rangers and other similar media that I think are really fun and always love to see!

One final kind of small thing but B5 actually found a way to make dogfight style space combat interesting to me. I’ve always found the more submarine warfare style ship to ship combat more compelling as when things become a space dogfight it often devolves into just a bunch of space lasers and fast ship unintelligible nonsense and I loose all interest and stakes in what’s happening on screen. B5 found a way to keep the stakes and emotions high so even when they went into more aerial combat I was still fully engaged in the story and what was happening. So thanks for that B5, I genuinely thought it couldn’t be done well but they proved me wrong.

Overall I found Babylon 5 to be a phenomenal show and definitely one that’s certainly become a favorite of mine! I could talk so much more about every season and every single character and the things I love about them but this post is already long enough 😅. I definitely plan to rewatch it many times over (and attempt to perfect a watch order I personally like best cause I see why watch order is so debated now) and am already immediately trying to get mod violet and my partner to both watch it with me in the future (that’ll be two excuses to rewatch it)! It certainly has its flaws but all of my favorite things do and they certainly don’t remotely outweigh the absolutely phenomenal parts of the show.

Finally, I apologize to the Mira Furlan fans that she did not make it far in our tournament. I get it now! Her performance as Delenn is phenomenal and she is absolutely captivating every second she is on screen. She has the beauty and grace of a Disney princess and the terrifying ethereal presence and power of the sun and the moon.

- mod vintage

[sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel]

I got Tagged

I got tagged by @evolutionarypsyche. I don't get tagged in stuff too often, and usually when I do, I never know how to respond. This one seems easy enough though!

Last song you listened to: Waiting On The Sky To Change by Starset, feat. Breaking Benjamin

Favorite color: Green, especially the greens of late spring/early summer. It makes me happy. Orange is a close second, also a very happy color. Blue is third, it's relaxing.

Currently watching: Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, The Acolyte, and a million daydreams.

Sweet/savory/spicy: Sweet or savory. I generally don't do spicy because I hate the taste of peppers. Not the heat, but the actual taste.

Relationship status: I haven't been in a relationship in ten years. I've had crushes in that timespan, but just about everybody I've ever crushed on is already in a relationship, and I'm not a homewrecker. I stay far away when I find out somebody I like is already spoken for, and eventually the crush fades.

Current obsession: I've got three, all based on fan characters for the two franchises that are currently occupying my three braincells: Animorphs and Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel. Long story short, I want to write long fanfics centered around OCs that serve as a way to play with the settings I love, but I have the attention span of a goldfish and the commitment of a moth. Always drawn to the next shiny idea before I can get the current ones down. Ima list the ideas here: -Future Andalites play keep-away with the Time Matrix because one of the future Andalites has ended up in a Jake Situation where their dear older brother turned out to be a puppet for an alien, only this time instead of Tom, the bigger brother is Aximili, and instead of Yeerks, the main threat is a malprogrammed Chee doing their best impression of the robots from The Matrix. That's my explanation for TOWIM. Caretaker robot gone bad, wants to end all suffering forever past present and future.

-Animorphs AU where, because of Ellimist shenanigans, a group of OCs get dragged into the events of book 20 and become Animorphs with David, and subsequent strangeness that ripples through the rest of the franchise. Currently I'm stuck on a big Megamorphs-sized idea involving these OCs getting whisked away to an Andalite listening post in the Alpha Centauri system and helping figure out the Yeerks-On-The-Homeworld plot that never got resolved.

-Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel stuff mostly focused on a young Goetia OC named Phenex, a Human OC named Cal, and the shenanigans they get into. Notable conflicts include: Phenex is 18 or 19 and has just been put in charge of 20 demonic legions, but would rather spend time helping Cal pick classes for his next semester of college. Cal finding out what Heaven and Hell are really like, and not knowing where he'd like to go when he inevitably dies. And family drama on both sides.

Last thing you googled: Pictures of doves to use as a reference for a picture of Cal holding his pet dove.

I don't know who I would want to tag. I'm sorry. I've been on Tumblr off and on for over 10 years and still don't know who I'm allowed to tag for things. :C

[deepspacedukat]

Because I can: for the new fmk (slow burn, fake date, enemies to lovers) I bestow upon thee a terrible trial. From S1 and *checks notes* S2E1, I present the following options: Jeffrey Sinclair, G’Kar, and Michael Garibaldi.

And because that’s a horrible selection pool (they’re all 🥺🥺🥺 brain quality, I love them your honor), I present: Vir, Na’Toth, and Londo. (Lennier is too puppy right now for me to put into situations).

-Horta-in-Charge

OH MY GOD. THIS IS VERY MUCH A TRIAL. You know my thoughts about all of these bbs, but here we go!

Alright...Alright, set 1:

Slow Burn: Jeffrey Sinclair - When he met you, he'd have just ended a relationship. After that pain, he would be slow to warm up to anyone beyond the levels of friendship, but once he did, he'd absolutely romance you in the way that only the commander of the station could do.

Fake Date: Michael Garibaldi - He'd be saving you from a scummy bar patron or an annoyingly persistent person who can't take the hint that you're not interested. He'd slide right over to you and say something like "Oh hey, hun. Sorry I'm late. Got held up in security. Is this guy bothering you?" Said scumbag would hurry away when he realized that you were with the Chief of Security. Play acting the rest of the date would be way more fun - this guy's a dork and he'd make the evening fun since it was so shitty before. Surprise, surprise, he's had feelings for you for a while, this just gave him a chance to show you how good it could be to spend time with him.

Enemies To Lovers: G'Kar - This space lizard/marsupial can be grumpy and acerbic when needed, due to his position. I imagine that all it would take is one grumpy remark when the two of you first met to spark a long argument. G'Kar is not one to swallow his pride and apologize, so I could totally see this becoming a long argument that finally snaps one day in a lift. Naturally, both come out with rumpled clothing and puffy lips.

-

You're so right, Lennier is very very puppy. He's got eyes that do the 🥺 thing all the time! I love him and want to pat his lil head. *ahem* Anyway, set 2:

Slow Burn: Londo - He would start out with his usual attempts to impress you with stories of the "Great Centauri Empire" but as he gets to know you, he allows you to see a bit more of what's beneath the surface. You would end up being so dear to him that he wants to show you the utmost respect and affection. That's why he takes his time to romance you.

Fake Date: Vir - Listen, he got himself into a situation. He's a sweet goof, and he tries his best, but uh 👉👈 he accidentally acquired a person flirting with him and he needs someone to help get rid of them. "Please, can you have dinner with me? 🥺" He's a sweet boy and he's very grateful for your help. When you try to actually flirt with him, though, he can't recognize it very easily. By the end of the evening, though, he very much wants to spend more time with you.

Enemies To Lovers: Na'Toth - She's a grumpy lizard. She's rough around the edges. She's prickly at first. She'd totally be the type to end up fighting with someone until the two of them swore how much they hated each other and ended up making out in a corridor.

Thank you, friend!!! 💖

[mybullshitsensesaretingling]

A Vulcan Smile Part Four

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three]

“They couldn’t have found a planet for this?” Leonard grumbled to Jim as he made their way off the ship. “The Alpha Quadrant’s a big place.” 

The docking bay was filled with conversation as Enterprise crew members disembarked and security and maintenance workers went about their business. Below that was the low hum of the machinery that kept the station running, only slightly different from the hum of the Enterprise. Leonard longed for a shore leave on a planet that had no hum and had conversations that weren’t about jefferies tubes or Vulcan diplomacy. 

“Dad!” 

Both Leonard and Jim’s heads swiveled in the direction of the shout, their faces contorting with confusion as they watched Joanna sprint across the space station's docking bay. Leonard got his barings just in time to catch her when she jumped at him. He held her tightly in his arms and looked around for a clue as to what she was doing this far from home. His eyes landed on you, just a few paces from him. 

“Looks like it’s not that big,” Jim commented. 

Leonard set Joanna back down on her feet, still looking at you. “I was under the impression that you would be watching Joanna on Alpha Centauri.” 

“Plans changed,” you stated simply. 

“Taking a child off world without the permission of her parent isn’t a change of plans, it's a kidnapping,” he argued. 

“Do you ever get tired of over reacting?” you asked without expecting an answer. “I got Donna’s permission. I tried to get yours but the subspace message wouldn’t go through. But even if that weren’t the case, don’t you think I would put a little more effort into avoiding you if I had kidnapped your child?” 

“Sorry I underplayed your criminal prowess,” he said sarcastically. 

“I’m here for the conference,” you explained. 

“It’s a four day conference.” 

“The man can count. Why Jocelyn ever left you-” 

“She has school on Monday,” he reminded you. 

“That won’t be a problem.” You looked around him as Joanna started to wander off. “She was suspended. Excuse me.” You left the conversation to follow Joanna. 

Leonard turned to continue the argument but stopped when he saw Joanna standing in front of Spock. Jim watched on, doing nothing to fight off the smile growing on his face as the scene played out in front of him.

“Dif-tor heh smusma,” she greeted, getting his attention with a Vulcan salute. 

“Sochya eh dif,” he responded, returning the gesture. 

“Are you Mr. Spock?” 

“I am. Who are you?”

“Joanna McCoy. I’m a friend of your sisters,” she answered. 

“I see. Is that why your Vulcan pronunciation is impeccable?” 

The girl nodded so enthusiastically that her hair bounced around her shoulders. “I’m the best human in my class!” 

“That does not surprise me. You seem to be a smart young woman.” 

“Making friends, Spock?” Jim asked as the three of you joined him. 

“I believe I am.” He looked up from Joanna. “I find her company to be far preferable to that of her father’s.” 

“Wish I could say the same thing about your family members, Spock,” Leonard said, sending a glare your way. 

“Did you just admit to enjoying Spock’s company?” you asked with a sly smile. 

“That’s what I heard,” Jim agreed. 

Your smile turned into a grin as you leaned around Leonard to finally take a good look at the man with him. Your eyes darted down to the sleeve of his uniform then back up to his bright eyes and smile that was just short of mischievous.

“I take it you’re Captain Kirk?” you asked.

“Last time I checked.” 

“It’s an honor to meet you. I’ve heard great things.” You held out your hand for him to shake and all three men stared at it. Jim looked back at your face for a moment, judging your expression to check that this wasn’t some sort of diplomatic trap, before taking your hand. 

“As have I,” he said brightly, releasing your hand. 

“Oh, have you?” You looked at Leonard out of the corner of your eye. 

“Not from me,” he defended. 

“Well, I know it wasn’t from Spock.” 

“There is no way for you to know that,” Spock stated. 

“Alright what have you told them about me?” 

“That you are my sister and that you are a teacher,” he answered. 

“Great things,” you echoed sarcastically, checking your watch. “We need to go. We’re going to be late.” You gestured for Joanna to follow you. 

“Not so fast. We have a lot to talk about,” Leonard said pointedly, his hand going to Joanna’s shoulder before you could walk off with her. 

A flicker of sympathy ran through you, seeing the anger and sadness peaking through his expression. You knew it was hard to be so seperated from someone you loved that you only got glimpses of what their lives were like. You started to feel a twinge of guilt about dropping the bomb of her suspension the way you had. But you had other things to be doing. These were emotions to be dealt with at a later time. 

“We do and there will be more than enough time to talk about it tonight when we are both done working.” You quickly gave him the information for your temporary quarters and began to strode off the way you had come. Joanna gave a hasty good bye to each of the men before racing after you.

[secretgamergirl]

Dear Game Developers, I don’t want to be a rapacious colonizing blight on the world.

I like a pretty wide variety of games, but one general thing I’ve always been particularly keen on is the sort of game where I start off just kinda naked in the wilderness with nothing and have to build up a bunch of infrastructure to accomplish something. So you know, RTSes, Civ clones, survival games, sandbox-y Minecraft stuff, Dwarf Fortress and similar things, but these all have this really annoying habit of making my character the biggest existential threat to the entire world, and I would really like them to stop doing that all the time.

So, just to open up with an example of how to do this sort of thing in a way I like, Subnautica is one of my favorite games. I recently streamed the whole thing, so, links to that if you’d like: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Subnautica actively confronts my issue head on, and handles it right. I’m not slaughtering everything I see, I’m not strip mining the whole planet, I’m not leveling forests. I’m here by way of horrible tragic accident, and by the end of the game I’ve done my best to clean up the mess from that and address some other global issues to the point where I can confidently say my presence over the course of the game has made for a net positive impact on the environment in which it’s set. Plus it’s a great game in a bunch of other ways.

I’m also pretty happy with Factorio, oddly enough. In Factorio I AM strip mining the whole world, slaughtering absolutely all of the local wildlife, and any forests I’m not clear-cutting I’m choking out with industrial emissions that leave nothing but dry withered skeletons where there were once beautiful stretches of foliage. The thing of it is, between actually tracking my environmental impact as a mechanic and having such downer visuals, it at least feels like the developers and I are sharing a really dark joke about how awful you are in games like this.

Then on the other side of the coin here, we have, say, Satisfactory. A game in the same weird subgenre as Factorio (do we have a name for these yet? Convey’em Ups?) but... really gross. The player is explicitly just heading down to this really beautiful planet to extract and process all the resources they can. You’re rewarded for killing... basically all life you see despite it not generally posing any sort of real threat to you, clear cutting all the vegetation, and to keep the factory building vibes nice and chill, when you tap into a coal vein or set up an oil well, you get an endless supply of those burnable fuels to use forever, with absolutely no consequence, as you just consume all the things to make all the other things and ship them out to meet quotas. And that’s... kinda gross? Again, the fact that nothing you do has any sort of consequence despite half of it being stuff that is literally killing the world in reality makes it way worse.

Meanwhile, lately I’ve been keeping a lot of modded Minecraft videos going in the background to stave off the social isolation with the whole plague and all with some human voices, and see what cool new ideas people are testing there. One of the real popular new mods is this one called MineColonies, and you know what? It’s really neat. The idea is you find a big open plot of land somewhere, throw down blueprints for really huge multiblock structures of houses and workshops and such, get those built up a little, and NPCs start wandering in you can start giving jobs to. Here’s someone to harvest and replant trees, someone to go mining for underground resources, someone to build and upgrade the rest of these buildings, people to provide renewable food and medicine to all these other NPCs. Schools for their kids to get their stats up to good places by adulthood, a whole higher learning system to advance a tech tree, it’s cool.

But the thing is, as you probably gathered from the name, it’s DISGUSTINGLY colonialist. All these people coming in are explicitly white, with British accents, explicitly gendered and explicitly heterosexual too incidentally, and a huge part of the general infrastructure building is having to set up guard posts and barracks all over, training knights and archers to defend against the local barbarians native to the land you’re building on who wander out of the wilderness to attack everyone with some regularity. And I mean, how messed up is that? This mod is explicitly adding in native people’s just so there’s someone for you to displace and murder as you colonize some big chunk of unspoiled wilderness in the name of prosperity for your... British colony. Which of course works on an explicitly feudalist system (and then also for some reason has everyone grumbling about how you’re spending your gold, which you aren’t even doing). It totally thematically ruins what I’d otherwise be super super into. And not long after this was released, baseline Minecraft did basically the same thing. There are now roving barbarian tribes who go around trying to kill you and any villagers near you and you have to concern yourself with wiping out whole groups of them with some regularity, whereas previously the only enemies you really had to deal with were zombies and skeletons and a few other weird explicitly monstrous things. It’s gross.

My distaste for slaughtering barbarians extends to the civilization games too. Which... I mean I have put a LOT of hours into a lot of Civ games so it’s obviously not a total dealbreaker for me, but... you’re always this weird immortal dictator and even if you set your civilization up as a democracy, you sure do win every single election regardless of how unhappy people are with you, and you spend a good chunk of time slaughtering local barbarians. And increasingly, with each new game, smaller independent nations because they really keep putting more and more emphasis on military conquest being, if not the best path to victory, one you have to push pretty far no matter what you’re going for.

And it doesn’t have to work like that. My favorite game, mostly in the franchise, is still Alpha Centauri. Where the “barbarians” are brain eating space worms, not other humans, and even then, you can (and I consistently do) be a big tree-hugging hippy, enact worm-friendly social policies, make friends with them instead of killing them, and have them go devour a bunch of violent anti-science anti-environment right wing creeps, strongarm everyone else into adopting similar policies, and, like Subnautica, leave the world better than you found it by foregoing all the easier wins and doing the thing where you find a permanent solution to the local planetary superconsciousness accidentally going berserk and eating itself at periodic intervals. Happy ending for everyone! Except for Miriam. Screw Miriam.

Meanwhile, someone I know not to long ago just randomly pitched a game where there’s a big nature ravaging industrial sprawl, but you play as some sort of reclaiming embodiment of nature, strategically... I guess spreading trees to grow up through everything and have rats chew through the wiring and stuff, and yeah, I would play the hell out of that game. If nobody else gets to it before I clear my plate of all these other projects, I might even make that game.

I should stress again too that it’s not even that I don’t want games to ever put me in such a role as the player, just if you’re going to do it, acknowledge that that sort of thing isn’t cool, and either make it clear that the player character has been forced into a really unfortunate position, or that said character is just awful. Or both, both works.

What I don’t want to ever see people do is rationalize a way out of the issues. “Oh this is an infinite supply of clean-burning coal” does not fly with me. “Oh we’re establishing a colony but it’s on an alien planet” is still colonialism. The weird fetish the whole game industry seems to have with leveling forests is not made better by having those trees give you saplings that fully replace every tree cut down in like 2 minutes. If you don’t want to unpack the moral implications of something, you can just not include it to begin with. None of the stuff I’ve been laying out here is actually necessary for any of these games to work. Just... quit being weird and making me play coal-mining conquistadors already.

[rivertalesien]

I never came back for the loo finale but I read it all and I'm confused. How bad did this show get? It looks like it got seriously convoluted. Aliens?

Convoluted. I love that word.

Well, I don't know where you left off, but as you might have suspected, they couldn’t keep the story straight from year to year or do much in the way of any actual thinking over what they were writing. Each season felt like it was composed under the influence of bad weed and sour pickles.

For example: in one season they decided that a spacecraft exists to carry our crew to the nearest local star, presumably Proxima Centauri, which, by current science and technology, would take about 70,000 years to reach. This spacecraft, built in our time period, and in spite of a busted engine with only Monty, who has no experience as a pilot or engineer, to program the course (which should probably have taken him years), managed to avoid any stellar phenomena, and arrived at their destination in just under 130 years.

But here’s the fun part. When they arrive at their new planet moon, it is not only inhabited by people who arrived only 250 years before (meaning they left Earth before ALIE), it is home to an “anomaly stone” that just happens to be a series of connected wormholes to various planets, one of which is on Earth. Which has its own stone. In the bunker. Where Octavia and Wonkru were hanging out for six years.  And no one saw it. Because it was H I D D E N.

If only they'd found it before, that interplanetary trip would have taken like, five seconds.

But I’m willing to bet JR didn’t have the idea for the anomaly stone/wormhole in season 5, just like he didn’t have the idea for the Grounder language to end up just being made-up nonsense by a small child in season 1 (this was revealed in the "backdoor pilot" Anaconda in the last season). Just like he didn’t have the idea for the “Flame” and “night blood” in season 2. Just like he didn’t have extraterrestrial intelligence anywhere on the map in seasons 1 - 6. He was like a kid writing his own comic book without any sense of direction or consistent character development. His final act was to simply throw it all up in the air, with Superior Beings showing up out of nowhere to decide humanity's fate. Raven wound up winning them over so Everyone went Boom! Out! and "transcended" into a Higher Form of Life that looked a lot like Glowy Groot (except for Clarke and about a dozen other people who never liked her much anyway but decided to stay behind to keep her company. For some reason) and The End.

Somehow, they got Alycia Debnam-Carey to appear in Lexa's costume, but playing one of the Superior Judges just so we could know that Lexa was Clarke's One True Love (tm) and then ponder why they couldn't just have her play Lexa, who, having decided not to transcend with the others, stayed behind for Clarke. The only character for whom this act would have made any kind of sense.

Oh, but they shot and destroyed the Flame (again) two episodes before the finale, so Lexa, reduced to a four-season long plot device as a living character inside the chip, was simply brushed out of existence without a peep. Clarke never even asked The Judge if she survived to transcend with the others. Because when someone is the Love of Your Life (tm), you don't bother to consider things like that.

But Emori, who did die, was allowed to live on in Murphy's mind drive (another form of the Flame) and later, got a new body when she decided not to transcend but stay behind on Earth. With Clarke.

So the straight Grounder/Arker couple got to live happily ever after.

I believe Jason Rothenberg has about as much talent as a writer as anyone currently composing fan fiction, whether 14 or 40. I also believe he is an unluckier version of JJ Abrams, who, without the benefit of coherent plans for any of his projects, manages to get lots of money to make them anyway.

Sorry if this didn't clear up any confusion. I might not be the best person to ask an opinion of, re: this damn show.

[jenniferstolzer]

Babylon 5 Rewatch Season 2 episode 21: Comes the Inquisitor

The Vorlons send an inquisitor to investigate Delenn. Meanwhile, G’Kar must do his own investigation in order to restore the faith and morale of the defeated Narns on Babylon 5

Things I liked about Inquisitor:

I’ll state right up front that this is not my favorite episode, but I am definitely a fan of G’Kar’s storyline. He was told not to speak in the council so he’s taken to the streets becoming a curbside prophet even before he acquires the title. I love his vigor and refusal to give up. Throughout this episode he wheels and deals pulling every string he has. He buys weapons on the black market, he plies Sheridan for favors, he makes promises he doesn’t know if he can keep and the whole time he’s fighting like a cornered dog. Vicious boy. Very very good. 

Same storyline, this episode has his “Dead, Dead, Dead” speech to Vir which is such an important moment for both characters. 1, it sets a firm boundary in G’Kar that he is not willing or able to forgive a Centauri, something that comes back into play in Season 5 in the just best most heartbreaking way. 2, it shows Vir that good intentions and apologies aren’t enough in the face of such a blow. Vir apologizes for what’s happened and tries to excuse himself from the events and G’Kar is like “Nope, no reassurance for you, today” This moment isn’t worthless, though. The fact that Vir didn’t ignore G’Kar in the lift, that he was brave enough to say something and acknowlege that this people had done wrong is the birth of Abrahamo Lincolni

Garibaldi working within the boundaries of his job to help G’Kar is also great.The moment feeds Garibaldi’s storyline by emphasizing his suspicious nature. Like Morden before him, Garibaldi gave G’Kar a test. Tell the truth or get your wrist slapped. The fact is that Garibaldi doesn’t fully trust anybody. You can see why the events later in his story happen... I wonder if in another life he’d be asking “What do you want?”

Unless I misheard, one of the Narns on homeworld say “Thank G’Kar!” the same way G’Kar says “Thank G’Quan.” The first instance of G’Kar being venerated as a prophet maybe? 

Sebastian was snatched off planet earth by the Vorlons back in Earth’s History which proves that theyv’e visited us before, they’ve messed with our history before, and they have very odd taste in servants for creatures that are supposed to be pinnacles of good. Its an interesting thought experiment I guess. You’ll read more below about why I’m not sure it /quite/ worked? But the message that Earth was not immune from past meddling and the Vorlons are secretly kinda bad maybe is firmly stated in this episode.

Things I liked less

Sebastian always struck me as a weird choice of storyline. I get the idea -- the Vorlons are not the beacons of good we’ve been led to believe, watch them torture their most loyal soldier to test her loyalty. I get that idea, but I never thought it really worked. First of all, Sebastian is Jack the Ripper. That’s a weird choice. Giving Jack the Ripper a redemption arc is a weird choice. It’s a weird choice for //delenn//. if we were looking for someone from history to torment Delenn i guarantee the vorlons could have found someone from Minbari history whose cruelty would strike fear in her, or whose piety would test her, or whose disapproval would tempt her heart. Not only does she not know who Sebastian is, he’s going by a name he’s not even famous for. So who he is doesn’t matter except to us, the audience, and in that way this episode felt kind of pandering to the audience. Shocking the 20th century butts on the other side of the fourth wall with a “that’s neat” reveal at the end. That woudl have played better around Episode 2.10... but after the stakes established in the last episode, hopping out of the timeline only makes the inquisitor feel less important than the G’Kar stuff. 

Also, and this is a personal take, the torture itself felt self-gratifying to me? I have a hard time watching the Sheridan torture episode, too. Misery for misery’s sake doesn’t move me the way the scripts want it to, especially when it’s done just for the sake of showing torture on screen. The Vorlons could have gotten the answer they wanted out of her with telepathy something if the goal was to see her true thoughts, then they erase her memory of the event to boot! So if it was a punishment  for pledging the Rangers to Sheridan’s service, she didn’t learn anything about that. She hasn’t learned what might happen to her if she goes off-script. She doesn’t have the emotional investment of having endured a trial and come out victorious... they just electrocuted her until she wept because they could and they wanted to. And what did they learn? That she’s sacrifice herself for her loved ones. I mean, we knew that already didn’t we? Sebastian peeled off her rind to expose her heart, but the circumstances that got her there were erased from her head. Even if we didn’t know Delenn’s capacity for self-sacrifice, what if she decided after enduring torture that she’d rather die than see Sheridan dead and the day before when she hadn’t experienced torture she would have let him die? She went on an emotional journey then got rewound! 

In the end, Sebastian quotes Jesus and says “you guys are finally the right people in the right place at the right time”  Yeah okay, asshole. I guess that was the goal? To see if they were the right people at the right place? I hate to break it to the Vorlons but they gotta work with what they have at this point the Shadow war is starting RIGHT NOW. They wanted to make sure Delenn was the right person? You’ve been GROOMING her for THIS VERY REASON for DECADES. The right place? You facilitated the BUILDING OF BABYLON 5 AS A BASTION OF WAR. What. Are. You. Doing?????

All this said, the torture scenes do show us, the audience, more about our characters. Lennier shows up, offers to help, then runs and gets Sheridan. Sheridan is the linchpin that makes Delenn finally say “I’ll die for others” when I assume she thought that was an unspoken truth to this point. We and the Vorlons both get proof she’s a selfless saint ready to die for our sins. We see that the Vorlons are cruel and unusual and maybe there’s no pure good in the galaxy. And also G’Kar is trying his very best to fight a war with real stakes and I’d rather be watching that. Theoretical reasons for the torture aren’t lost on me, I just feel like it could have been done better with a more in-universe situation and that the reveal that Sebastian is Jack the Ripper didn’t pay off for this one viewer like I know it does with others. 

The next ep ends the season! Let’s go!

[waitimcomingtoo]

hi, idk if you're taking requests rn but i was wondering if you could do a peter x astrophilia! reader where they're stargazing and he's just staring at her in awe while she rambles about space and she sees him staring and just blushes n goes quiet 🥺

Astrophilia

Astrophilia- (noun) Love of and/or obsession with planets, stars, and outer space.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Masterlist

Requests are CLOSED

At age fourteen, you didn’t exactly have much on your plate. It was the summer before high school and your days mostly consisted of the same things: Subways rides to the “dangerous” parts of New York (or as far as Aunt May allowed) and trips to random streets you couldn’t find on a map. Some days were spent inside playing Mario Kart until your thumbs hated you, and some days were spent outdoors until the sun had fully set and your parents were just about ready to kill you for being out so late. No matter what you were doing, you days were spent with your best friend Peter Parker. 

You’d been friends since preschool and being apart was not something either of you enjoyed. Today was no different. You were hanging out in Peters room, just three days before high school was going to start.

It was a slow Sunday. You were just sitting on Peters bed, joking around like always. It's been that way for years, Peter and Y/n, the dynamic duo. But you kinda always liked him a little more than a friend. You couldn't help it. Peter was sweet, kind, adorable, respectful, and treated you like royalty. You didn’t know when the platonic moments in your friendship began to feel romantic, but once you noticed, it was all you thought about.

“Do you think the people will be nice?” You asked Peter as you curled into on of his pillows. Peter joined you on the bed and shrugged.

“I’m sure they’ll be nice enough.” He said.

“Do you think the boys will be nice?” You asked the real question that was on your mind.

Peter was quiet for a minute and shifted his position.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged and kept his eyes down. “Maybe?”

You sat up on your elbow and faced him.

“Do you think they’ll like me?” You asked him awkwardly. Sometimes, having a boy best friend made conversations like these harder than they needed to be.

“The boys?” Peter squeaked, feeling a weird feeling in his tummy at your sudden interest in guys.

“Yeah.” You said shyly.

“Of course they will.” Peter stated. “Why wouldn’t they?”

“I’m kinda, I don’t know, nerdy.” You shrugged.

“You think you’re nerdy?” Peter asked. “I wear science pun T shirts and my aunt still packs my lunches.”

“Yeah, but what about the whole space thing?” You asked him. You were a bit of a space geek, something Peter adored about you.

“Y/n, you’re a genius when it comes to knowing about space. That doesn’t make you a nerd. That makes you super cool.” Peter assured you. He hated when you felt insecure about your intelligence. You were the smartest person he knew, and he loved that.

“I’m glad you think so, but I doubt high school boys will find my geekiness ‘super cool’.” You said meekly.

“What kind of guys are you into anyway?” Peter pretended to just think of the question, when he’d really been thinking about it for months. You laughed a little to yourself, know long the kind of guys you were into were Peter.

“I don’t know. Nice ones? I don’t really think about it. As long as he’s kind and can make me laugh, I’ll take him.” You shrugged with a small smile. “And if he knows a thing or two about space, that’d be nice too.”

“You’re telling me all a guy has to be is kind, funny, know a little something about space to be with a girl like you?” Peter asked in disbelief. “There’s gotta be something else, something you look for.”

“A girl like me?” You asked curiously.

“Yeah, uh, I don’t know.” Peter scratched the back of his neck. “It was a dumb question. Forget I asked.”

“Okay.” You watched Peter curiously for a moment before looking away. “And I like musicians, by the way.” You blurted. “That’s the thing I look for. Especially the guitar.”

You and Peter dropped the topic and went on as usual.

The first day of school came and went. When the sun set and you finished your homework, you took Peter to the roof to stargaze like you always did. You sat between Peters legs against the chimney and tilted your chins towards the sky.

“Wow.” You breathed.

“The stars are really showing off tonight, aren’t they? Putting on a show for us.” Peter said softly as he watched your reaction to the sky.

“I could look at the sky for hours.” You sighed and held onto Peters arm, which were wrapped around your shoulders.

“They seem so close. Just a few miles from where we are.” Peter commented.

“Well the closest star to Earth is Proxima Centauri. It’s just 4.2 light-years away.” You absentmindedly told Peter a fact about space. You missed the fond smile he gave you as he found himself wanting to know more.

“And the furthest?” He asked.

“The furthest star right now is 100 million light years away. It’s in the M100 galaxy of the Virgo Cluster.” You said like it was common knowledge. Peters eyes gleamed with an inexplicably fondness for your intelligence.

“How many do you think there are? A million?” He asked, playing dumb now to coax more facts out of you.

“About 200 to 400 billion, and about a trillion in the Milky Way.” You answered, suddenly becoming self conscious of your words. “Uh, I’m guessing.”

“Seems like a pretty good guess to me.” Peter shrugged against your body.

“Sorry. I’m being weird. I’ll stop.” You shifted awkwardly and swallowed.

“You’re not being weird.” Peter said defensively. “Tell me about them.”

“What?” You looked over your shoulder at him.

“The stars. Tell me about them. I want to hear everything you know.” Peter smiled sheepishly.

“No you don’t. It’s boring.” You shook your head.

“Not to me.” Peter promised. A smile tugged onto your lips and you turned back towards the sky.

“So, space is infinite, obviously.” You began. “You got your planets, galaxies, moons, nebulas, and of course, stars. My favorite are stars.”

“Me too.” Peter held you closer and rested his chin on your hair as he listened.

“Stars are luminous spheres made of plasma-“

“Plasma?” Peter asked.

“It’s superheated gas threaded with a magnetic field.” You answered. Stars are mostly made of hydrogen, which they fuse in their cores.”

“Got it.” Peter nodded as if he understood a word you said. His sudden interest encouraged you to keep going.

“That process releases energy, which pushes against the weight of the outer layers of the star and stabilizes it. The energy is also released as heat and light, which radiates out to space.” You continued.

“Amazing.” Peter stared at your profile. The way your face lit up when talking about something you loved made Peters heart melt. He could listen to you all night.

“I know, right?” You laughed happily, making Peter grin. “And did you know stars were some of the first objects to form in the early stages of the universe? We’re looking at the same stars dinosaurs, Galileo, and King Henry have looked at. Isn’t that incredible to think about? The same sun that warms our skin has shown on Alice Paul and Stan Lee. That’s why I love space so much.”

“I didn’t know that.” Peter said gently.

“Because people don’t take the time to learn about it.” You sighed in disappointment. “I mean, they teach us about the phases of the moon and whatnot, but they don’t tell us about the basic groundwork of the universe. Like, have you ever been taught how a star is formed?”

“No. Could you tell me?” Peter asked gently.

“Well, as long as you’re asking.” You smiled sheepishly to hide your excitement. “So, star formation happens in clouds of interstellar gas and dust called “nebulae”, right? The star starts to form when the cloud is nudged into a spinning motion, usually by a shock wave from a nearby supernova explosion or something. Clumps begin to form, and they get hotter and hotter as they gain more mass. When the temperature inside reaches 10 million degrees Celsius a star is born.” You recited. You looked over at Peter and noticed that he was dead silent, just staring at you. Your cheeks heated up when Peter didn’t say anything, and you got quiet. “Sorry. I’m rambling.”

“No, it’s okay.” Peter snapped out of his awe and assured you. “Keep going.”

“Do you really want to hear about stars?” You asked suspiciously.

“No, but I like to hear you talk.” Peter admitted.

"I still can't believe Liz turned you down.” You changed the subject to something more Peters speed. He had asked Liz Allen to the back to school party at Flash’s house and she promptly turned him down. “She's crazy."

You felt Peter shrug against you again and you wondered if you should’ve kept your mouth shut.

"It’s whatever. I didn’t really like her anyway.” Peter answered honestly.

"I know, but still. Who in their right mind would turn you down? She’s lucky you even looked her way.” You said, not even realizing what your words meant to Peter. He felt it too, that shift from platonic to romantic. He was just glad you weren’t facing him and couldn’t see his blush.

“You’re just saying that.” He replied.

“No, I’m not.” You said sincerely. “You're so nice to everyone and so smart. And oh my God, the funniest guy in the world. And not to mention, cute as hell.”

Peters body suddenly felt warm against yours and you wondered if he was blushing.

(Yes, he was)

"Nowhere near as cute as you." He said in a shy voice. You looked back at him gave him a playful shove.

"Oh, shut up. No I'm not." You looked back at the sky to keep yourself from smiling as Peter shook his head.

"You should see the way guys look at you. They practically drool." He muttered, and you could hear a tinge of jealousy in his voice.

"Oh, please. No guys stare at me.” You dismissed. “Why would they? I'm nothing special."

Peter finally looked at you and met your eyes.

"Do you really not know you're beautiful?" He asked, confusion in his voice.

"What?” You asked quietly.

"You know you're beautiful, right Y/n?" Peter sat up a little and sounded serious. Unsure of what to say, you didn’t answer and just chewed your lips.

"Did you really not know that?” Peter asked again.

You shook you head and Peter laughed in disbelief.

"I'm not beautiful, Peter. Not like Liz, anyway. Not even close." You said softly, making Peter look at you like you were crazy.

"Yes you are, Y/n.” Peter said firmly. “Inside and out. I can't believe no ones ever told you."

“Why does it matter?” You shrugged.

“Look up.” Peter said suddenly, and you did.

“You see those stars? All 200 to 400 billion of them?” He asked and you nodded. “You are more beautiful than every single one of them. Even the trillion in the Milky Way. And you’re wrong. The closest star isn’t 4.2 light years away. She’s sitting right next to me.”

“You listened.” You smiled small and looked back down at him.

"I always listen.” Peter told you. That's it, hand me my backpack.” He commanded. You laughed but did as you were told. Peter began to dig in his backpack, emptying it of books to find what he was looking for.

"What are you doing?" You asked him. He didn't answer, but pulled a small ukulele out of his bag.

“Since when do you play?” You asked in shock. You were so sure you knew everything there was to know about Peter Parker.

“Since about three days ago.” Peter answered as he held the instrument to his ear and tuned it.

"Just listen, okay? I know it’s not a guitar, but listen.” He asked calmly. You nodded, dying to see where this was going as he began to strum his ukulele. His fingers soon found the rhythm and a melody flowed out. You didn't recognize the song a first, but soon realized it was You're Beautiful by James Blunt. You smiled and rested your hand on his knee as he played.

"My life is brilliant, my love is pure. I saw an angel, of that I'm sure." He sang softly. Not only could Peter play, the boy could sing. His voice was smooth and angelic, making your heart flutter. You’d never been serenaded before and it was definitely something you could get used to.

"You're beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, it's true. I saw your face in a crowded place and I don't know what to do. Cause I'll never be with you." He continued the song, finally looking away from the strings and into your eyes. You listened to him as closely as you could, basking in the moment. There was that incredible voice that you loved. Peter was always shy about things he was good at, and you wondered if that’s why you’d never heard his singing before. You felt robbed of his glory for the past 14 years.

"There must be angel with a smile on her face when she thought up that I should be with you.” He sang through a smile.

You beamed at him and his cheeks grew pinker and pinker. Peters fingers dragged along the strings as he approached the final verse.

"But it's time to face the truth; I will never be with you." He strummed once more before setting the ukulele down on his lap. He looked very satisfied with his little serenade before looking up at you for approval. You looked up into his brown eyes and broke into a huge smile.

"That was beautiful, Peter. I loved it.” You told him honestly as you reached over and took his hand. “But some of those lyrics are a lie."

Peter put the ukele back in his bag and sighed.

"No they're not, Y/n. You really are beautiful." He promised.

You laughed softly and toyed with his fingers.

"No, not those lyrics." You shook your head and Peter looked confused.

"Then, which lyrics?" He asked.

You held your breath and looked away from his gaze. It was time to take a leap of faith. “The ones that say ‘I'll never be with you’, I mean.That’s not true. At least, I hope it’s not true.” You look into Peters eyes and search them for a reaction. You thank your lucky stars when you see his face light up and a huge grin making its way across his lips.

"REALLY?!" He asked excitedly, then clears his throat and tries to look casual. "I mean um, really?" Peter asked with all the hope on the world in his eyes.

“Really.” You confirmed.

"Truth is Y/n, Liz didn’t turn me down. I actually turned her down for a the party because…” he trailed off.

"Because?" You asked, encouraging him to continue.

"Because, well...you're the one that I want. Not her or any other girl. I wanna be with you." He said softly and carefully, in fear of being rejected.

Little did he know, you had been dreaming of being his for months at that point. You didn't want to spend another second being just his friend. Peter looked at you longingly, expecting you to say something. But you didn't say anything; you just leaned forward and pressed your lips to his, gently in the pale moonlight. Peter seemed surprised at first, but then kissed you back, cupping your cheek with his hand. You leaned forward and pushed him back against the base of the chimney, melting into him. You finally broke apart and stared at each other in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's presence. He brought his slightly cold hand back to your cheek and you leaned into it.

"I really like you, Y/n.” Peter smiled, looking the happiest you’d ever seen him.

"I really like you too, Peter.” You smiled back.

Peter laughed in joy and kissed you again.

“Do you want to go to that party together?” Peter suggested “As a couple?”

“I would love to.” You agreed to his offer and turned around again to settle into his arms. You tilted your chins towards the sky again, returning to your stargazing. This time, you weren’t thinking about space. Stars weren’t your favorite thing in the universe anymore. Now, it was Peter Parker.

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @sunrise-shawn @meghan-8520xx @writing-for-hours-on-end @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @autumnlyholland @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @ho-ho-holland @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @m19friend

[speedygal]

What is a title? A title is something that is hard

It had been a eventful afternoon playing throw the ball. It was a fairly old game that was different compared to fetch, football, and baseball; it was a mainly beach ball that was thrown from member to member until one of them threw the ball too far---who ever was the designated target had to go after it. It was a game haphazardly invented that the professor had insisted decades ago was made up by Alpha Control prior to the destruction of the Jupiter 1. Some days, Smith couldn't believe that fact.

It had been a eventful afternoon playing throw the ball. It was a fairly old game that was different compared to fetch, football, and baseball; it was a mainly beach ball that was thrown from member to member until one of them threw the ball too far---who ever was the designated target had to go after it. It was a game haphazardly invented that the professor had insisted decades ago was made up by Alpha Control prior to the destruction of the Jupiter 1. Some days, Smith couldn't believe that fact.

The Robinsons were happy with the 45th anniversary of the Jupiter 2's launch. The event had been instilled with much planning, determination, and enticing the older man to their reunion with much promise. Smith admired the grandchildren of the professor and the doctor, the children of the major and Judy, Penny and her partner, Will and his partner, the grandchildren bore hints of who came before them with their unique qualities. Smith bore a grin at the eldest of the grandchildren breaking a pencil as he were attempting to do math that had been given to him and known to be impossible to solve from across.

"Come on, Joshua, that game is easily answered AFTER play time."

"This isn't a game! It's a perfect math exercise."

"Smith."

"Your son deserves exercising that brain that prefers dancing over something less harmful."

"IT'S BALLET!"

"It's dancing!"

"Dancing, my foot!"

"Our son is dumb."

"He is a moron."

"Should we tell him?"

"Let's not."

"Ow!"

"Oh, sorry!"

"YOU FIEND, YOU DID THAT INTENTIONALLY, CRAIG!"

"I am twenty-one."

"WHY IS THAT YOU GO TO PHRASE?"

"It works like a charm!"

"Works like a charm to homo longi!"

"What's homo-- OW!"

Smith cackled as Craig lifted himself up rubbing his eye as Will sat down alongside him as he were in the middle of laughter. The older man shifted in the direction of the young man as the bore a grin then took a sip of the tea next to him as he were wheezing. He coughed, then smacked his hand against his chest, laughing, feeling like things were beyond entertainment, but mere pieces of figment joy playing before him.

"William, already losing interest?"

"No, no, no, it's a pretty good game."

"Used to believe it were quite uneventful and lacking in entertainment," Smith shook his head then sipped from his tea and set it into his lap and cleared his throat. "I was wrong."

"Yeah, sure, can see that happening."

"That game can take a lot out of older people."

Will proceeded to smile, visibly pained if only a second, bothered, that drew Smith's concern. It was a completely small expression that screamed agony.

"Doctor Smith . . ." Will let go of his breath that he had held. "You know this isn't real."

"What? What did you say?"

"This isn't real."

"You're not well. Must be having a heat stroke."

"Doctor Smith, we left you a very long time ago. . remember that cave? The machine?" Smith was trembling as he leaned back then put the cup on to the table.

"Painful memories. Mistakes."

"How I came out with your face? How dad fought the androids? How he left you a couple miles from the Jupiter 2 and sent you away?"

"He stopped me."

"He never stopped you."

"PLease, stop!"

"He left."

"Stop."

You took your canister back and walked away. You found a nice warm cave, you set up shop there. You searched the landscape for ruined crafts, fought and made deals with alien travelers, became ab bit of a animal whisperer, you grew very old there, you never sopped trying to leave that world."

"William, please."

"You saw a strange alien life form, a celestial ball, creating life, bringing things, then initiated first contact. They sent you on a wild goose chase, entertaining them, even during a rainstorm. You see where I am going with this."

"The major put you up to this is what I see."

"You didn't respond to our prior attempts with the voices and faces of those who were not the Robinsons of whom you knew. So, we've chosen . . . these. . forms to tell you that we're sorry."

Judy joined Will's side then set a hand on his shoulder.

"Ready to come back and play?" Judy asked.

"About what?" Smith asked. "Sorry about what?"

"Will, you didn't." Judy said.

"He has the RIGHT to know!" Will argued.

"That's counter productive!"

"Not when it pertains to his soul."

rtains to his soul!"

"His soul will start anew, it's the mortal way, it's the organic way."

"He's SIX FEET BURIED UNDERNEATH MUD, HE HAS A CONCUSSION, and a great many wounds."

Smith got up to his feet then began to walk back as his world was starting to get darker. He looked up toward the sky observing that it were changing from blue to a gradual orange that looked oddly like brown. He turned back in the direction of the crowd to observe the Robinsons paused what they were doing turning toward him. He shook his head, distraught, as it became painfully obvious. How unEarthly their uniforms were, how alien the ships were, the environment being only the natural part of the scenery.

" AND HIS LIFE SIGNS ARE WITHERING." The person who was using Will's image stood up to their feet smacked their fist on the table, loudly, the smack echoing loudly. "We can't let him die seeing imaginary images that are inaccurate."

"They don't have grandchidren? They never had children? They're still hopelessly lost!"

"They do have grandchildren." Came the entity who was using Penny's form to speak. "Even one with your name."

"FARCE!" Smith pointed back at the entity. "You've LIED to me! "

"For your satisfaction!"

"FOR MY SATISFACTION?"

". . . I told you, ALL humans are touchy.."

"Oh, the pain. The pain."

"We're sorry."

"LEAD ME IN CIRCLES." Smith got up to his feet then faced the one using John's aged appearance, feeling furious, hurt, and above all, heartbroken. That last feeling left a wound so deep inside that a fire inside of him was sparked anew that made him up every day. "How can I believe anything you say about the Robinsons?"

"This is the best we could come up with!"

"The. . . best?"

"We're using your imagination to fill in the pieces."

"You brought me to Alpha Centauri, my dear entity."

"We've checked your mind and the people who matter, more than being alone, how awful, how tearing, how frightening, make death seem like you're going through a door with people holding your hands telling you it's going to be okay and it's time to go."

Smith was quiet as he absorbed that information and never before did he feel alone. He wasn't alone, but in the middle of this information being dropped and knowing that everything that he were seeing was a complete lie, not knowing them, his memories incomplete and manipulated and gaping holes in them that were more apparent than before how he got here.

" We've sent information, highly accurate ones, about your world---"

"And you're letting me die?" And that is the first thing that Smith could speak.

The two entities glanced toward each other then grimaced and shifted toward Smith.

". . . We've tried first contact," The entity with Maureen's aged appearance spoke, their mannerisms utterly different, paling in comparison, their tone was gentle. "sent numbers to your coordinates to your planet, but . . ."

Smith looked back and forth waiting for them to continue.

"it ended horribly and they haven't understood us in the slightest." The one using John's appearance finished.

"We got through the language barrier with math just enough for them to make a rescue ship with the required medicine, equipment, fuel, and weapons.. . . And then they destroyed it before we relayed the coordinates to their world and this general spot on the world."

"Destroyed our only form of communication as well to them--one of their own."

"They attacked us."

"So we returned fire on their defense systems and left it in ruins."

"Peace was never a option for them nor was diplomatic channels it seems."

"We failed you." Smith was trembling as he listened to their most heartfelt apology.

"The only thing., . . . you've gotten right. . . is how natural age claims our youth."

[beatles-lover-g]

In Case You Don’t Live Forever (AziraphalexCrowley) Good Omens Fanfic

Word Count: 1,034

Trigger Warning(s): Suicide/Angst

Summary: After not getting the answer he wanted after confessing his feelings to Aziraphale, Crowley considered something unthinkable

Crowley is sitting at the top of a building. He has a small vile of holy water that he kept after killing that demon before almost Armageddon. Drinking it would be easier he thinks. He thinks to himself, "do I really want to do this?" He smiles and sighs and says out loud in a mumbled voice "Well I have nothing left to live for, Hell wants me dead, Aziraphale hates me." Aziraphale hates me, he thinks, at this moment he cries for the first time all night. The emotionless demon had turned into a mess of sobs, screaming at himself, God, the universe, or who ever else cared to listen. He thinks about all that's happened, meeting Aziraphale at The Garden of Eden, the 6,000 years he has had with him, almost Armageddon. The thinks about his angel, "No," he says, "He's not my angel, not anymore, I don't even think he ever was." He returns to his thoughts and thinks of tonight. He starts remembering every event of tonight like it was happening in front of him.....

Earlier...

I'm going to tell him, Crowley thought to himself, I need to tell him, I love him. I love Aziraphale. He drove to the bookshop as fast as he could, excited and happy. Genuinely happy. When he got to the book shop Aziraphale greeted him with a cheery tone "Oh hello Crowley, would you like to go get some lunch? Something tells me that a table for two just became available at the ritz." Crowley smiled and said "Sure Angel, but erm I need to tell you something, it's kind of a big deal." With a smile Aziraphale replies, "Well out with it dear." The demon laughs nervously and whispers to himself, "well here goes nothing,"  he takes a breath, "Aziraphale, we've known each other for 6,000 years, and you've been my best and only friend for all of that time, and  I love you. I love you Angel, and I want to be with you." Aziraphale looks taken a back and says "Crowley, we can't we couldn't ever. What would our sides think?!!? I'm an angel and you're a demon, I could never be with you." Aziraphale says as a matter of fact. Crowley felt like a knife drenched in holy water had been plunged into his chest. "We don't have a side Aziraphale! We have our side that's it! Besides it's not like you're much of an angel anymore anyways." As soon as those last words leave his lips Crowley feels regret almost instantly. "Angel im sorr-," the demon gets cut off my Aziraphale's voice, "Get out Crowley." There was no emotion in the angles eyes. "I'm sorry," Crowley starts again, the angel doesn't even wait a second before saying, "I SAID LEAVE CROWLEY! NOW." Crowley left the bookshop in tears. He got wasted and went home. In his drunken state he got whatever holy water he managed to keep and went up to the roof.

Now here he was. He's long since gotten sober, he hears Aziraphale's words ringing over and over and over and over again.

Aziraphale on the other hand was searching all over England for Crowley, he didn't mean what he said, he loves Crowley, he loves him, he just couldn't admit it to himself. "I have to find him" he thinks to himself, "and I have to be with him."

Time skip

"It's been hours." Thinks Aziraphale, "where on Earth could he be??!" Then it dawns on him, ever since the almost apocalypse, Crowley has liked going up on the roof of an old abandoned building. "He has to be there" Aziraphale mutters to himself. He imagines all the wonderful moments they would have. He can't help but smile childishly.

Meanwhile Crowley decides that he's going to do it, he craves it. He wants to no longer worry about Aziraphale or how even though all he wants is to make his angel happy he can't do that. He slowly removed the cap of the tall vile, Aziraphale is running up the stairs to get to the roof, he finally gets there and yells out "Crowley I love you!" It's at this moment the demon turns around with look of pain on his face as the holy water he poured above him makes contact with this face. "NOOO!" Aziraphale yells, Crowley's look of pain turns to a light smile, after a split second the only thing that remains of Azirphale's demon is a jacket and sunglasses. The angel refuses to accept what he just saw, "no Crowley no, stop playing, we can go where ever you want," he says in a mess of sobs and screams, "wherever you want love, I'll go with you, you want to go to space where they can't find us??? WHY???!" Aziraphale yells while holding Crowley's glasses and coat like his life depended on it, Aziraphale had never craved death before. He craved it now. He wanted to be gone. To be nothing, because truth be told, he was nothing without Crowley, he is everything that he is because of him. "He's gone." A familiar voice says from behind the Angel. It was a voice he knew belonged to the prince of hell Beelzebub. "I know you want to die." The voice says. Then, hellfire appears. Aziraphale turns around and Beelzebub was no where to be found. The angel closes his eyes, and prays that in some miraculous way, he and Crowley's souls would find a way to break the rules and find each other, and they would be together even if they don't live forever. Perhaps they'd find each other again on Alpha Centauri. Crowley did always want to go there after all.

[ineffable-endearments]

“I lost my best friend” (does Aziraphale know?)

One of the most confusing moments for a lot of people, myself included, is Aziraphale’s reaction to “I lost my best friend.” I’m trying to parse out whether I headcanon that he Knows, and if he does, what his response means.

It turned into a 2000-word-plus analytical post. At first I thought Aziraphale knew, then I thought he didn’t, then I thought he did again. And there are so, so many implications for the whole rest of the story. That one line is such an important moment!

But I’ll put my thoughts behind a read more, for courtesy’s sake.

First of all:

Aziraphale definitely thought there was a chance Crowley might still want to help him out after he said he was leaving for Alpha Centauri, because he called Crowley the instant he realized Heaven was determined to destroy Earth. However, on his second contact attempt, he asked if Crowley went to Alpha Centauri. While Aziraphale probably knew, given the circumstances, that Crowley hadn’t literally left the planet, the question was an opportunity for Crowley to get out of helping. Aziraphale had to have given him that opportunity on purpose because he wasn’t 100% sure if Crowley would still want to help.

Last time Aziraphale called him, Crowley had said it wasn’t a good time to talk. “I’ve got an old friend here.” They didn’t get any time to communicate, but Crowley was playing it as cool as he could. Aziraphale, who...sometimes takes things at face value, could believe that he had an old friend there instead of an enemy.

Aziraphale does not know he’s supposed to be dead. He doesn’t know the bookshop burned down, and he has no idea about what Crowley went through inside.

All of these things together would lead me to think that no, in that moment, Aziraphale did not know Crowley was talking about him. He reacted as if he might not know, and there are several reasons that he could plausibly not know.

However.

Fast-forward to Tadfield airbase. Aziraphale realizes the best way to compel Crowley to come up with an idea for stopping Satan is to threaten never to speak to him again (or, at least, remind him that if they die now they’re never going to speak again). This would indicate that he does know what Crowley was suggesting back there: that Aziraphale is his best friend, so much so that life isn’t worth living without him. And, conversely, that he might be persuaded life is worth living for him.

This tells us with relatively little doubt that Aziraphale does in fact know Crowley’s feelings and that he was the loss Crowley was so upset about.

It’s also worth noting that in the script book, Aziraphale is given a chance to label their relationship when introducing Crowley to Madame Tracy. Aziraphale just says “He’s...well, we’re sort of business associates.” He is still reticent to label Crowley a friend (even though Crowley literally just said they were friends to the army guy). So it’s quite believable that back at the bar, he would have tried to work around accepting the Best Friend moniker from Crowley.

Initially, when Crowley said he “lost his best friend,” Aziraphale had no idea about the bookshop fire, and he probably thought Crowley was referring to their relationship being lost during their argument during the bandstand breakup. As in, the two of them had a fight, Aziraphale said “we’re not friends,” and now they’re not friends anymore. As far as Aziraphale would know, this upset Crowley SO much that he just gave up on living.

This is not flattering. This is disturbing. Aziraphale has been afraid of Crowley getting hurt by their relationship - “whatever you wish to call it” - for at least 417 years, first mentioned on-screen in 1601. Is it the only thing Aziraphale has been afraid of? Certainly not. He has been attempting self-preservation as well. But is it important? Without a doubt.

THIS IS KIND OF LIKE AZIRAPHALE’S BURNING BOOKSHOP MOMENT. Crowley isn’t LITERALLY dead, but he’s resigned himself to it...and Aziraphale is blaming himself. That awkward “I’m so sorry to hear it” is, in many ways, Aziraphale trying to keep his shit together. Just as Crowley, in the bookshop, thought he’d caused Aziraphale’s death, Aziraphale thinks Crowley’s death is the final consequence of befriending an angel.

I’d like to keep in mind the one instance in the series when Aziraphale does openly call Crowley a friend. It’s when he’s lying about not having any information about the Antichrist. When reminded to call with any updates, he says, “Of course! We’re friends! Why would you think I wouldn’t?” Given how strategic Aziraphale is trying to be, I think he’s partly nervous and losing track of his lies/accidentally letting the truth slip, and partly trying to butter Crowley up because he knows that if going to Heaven works like he wants it to, Crowley will have to accept their asylum. The one difference between this moment and all the other moments when he denies their friendship (which almost always also involve lying to other people) is at this moment, Aziraphale thinks he’s figured out how to solve Armageddon.

Anyway, Aziraphale promptly goes and feels Heaven out to see if they might just stop the entire war like he wants. When the Archangels turn the conversation to how much they all love smiting the foe, however, Aziraphale backs down and turns his Antichrist discovery into a hypothetical, choosing not to tell Heaven about it right away, either. Here, they’ve reframed Crowley once again as “the foe.” After that, Aziraphale has another fit of indecision, but agrees to meet Crowley at the bandstand, where he suggests, subtly (but not that subtly) that Crowley should join Heaven.

This tells me that he still hopes Heaven might save Earth, but if he’s going to save Crowley alongside Earth, then he’s gonna have to get Crowley on Heaven’s side so that he doesn’t get Smited. He’s so certain at this point this is the only solution that he won’t even let Crowley walk away until Crowley establishes that there is another option besides Heaven.

And that second option - the option to just leave it all and flee to the stars - is what makes Aziraphale decide it’s time to end their Arrangement and deny everything about their relationship instead of simply saying “no, I’m not leaving.” After all, Crowley cited their friendship as the reason they should go off together. As far as I can see, the only way this sudden turnaround really makes sense is if Aziraphale is being protective here, trying to remove himself from the equation in the desperate hope that Crowley will make decisions for himself rather than for Aziraphale (who is occasionally dense but is not stupid; he remembers 1862, and 1941, and 1967).

This exchange loops us back to Aziraphale’s probable assumption in the bar that Crowley’s “I lost my best friend” is referring to this fight, NOT to Aziraphale’s presumed death.

“I’m so sorry to hear it.” Almost six months later, I finally believe I have a real interpretation for that phrase. With the context that it’s Crowley explaining that’s why he hasn’t gone to Alpha Centauri to escape from the war between Heaven and Hell, why he’s so devastated, why he’s given up on survival, it’s Aziraphale responding, “I’m sorry you lost something so important to you. I’m sorry I was so important to you. I’m sorry that you decided your life wasn’t worth living without me.”***

But Aziraphale:

Is not going to apologize for the fight itself. He was harsh, but he WAS doing his best, and in this moment, I don’t think he sees any way that he could have avoided it.

Is not going to acknowledge that they’re friends. Right now, he likely still believes Crowley would be better off far away from here. And he also probably believes that calling themselves “friends” remains a bad idea, because while he’s been disabused of the notion that Heaven is worth asking for help, Heaven and Hell and their punishments are STILL looming over them. I have little doubt that Aziraphale’s ideology is playing into this as well - he believes they’re enemies and therefore cannot be classified as friends - but it’s the threat behind that ideology that is motivating him, not that he loves the ideology for its own sake.

Aziraphale always eventually turns to Crowley when he doesn’t know what to do because Crowley is fucking brilliant and also the only being in the universe who actually cares about either Aziraphale or Earth for their own sakes.

However, I’d say he avoided getting Crowley involved until he realized there was absolutely no other option, rather carefully made sure Crowley didn’t have to be involved, and gives Crowley a choice every step of the way on whether he wants to risk his life all the way until the tail end. When they’re sitting at the bus stop and he’s reminding Crowley, “my side wouldn’t like that,” it isn’t only for Aziraphale’s benefit; it is a habit, yes, but he’s likely thinking about how if the Archangels caught him and Crowley living together, they’d definitely smite Crowley because that’s what they love to do. They told him as much during the conversation in Heaven, going as far as to say “Crowley and the others were cast out, but nothing was ever really settled.” They’d love to “settle” things. So would Hell, now. And it is Crowley’s determination to stay that convinces Aziraphale it’s finally okay to believe they’re on their own side.

I think, on that bench in Tadfield, the question of whether it’s time to leave the planet was still hanging over the two of them. After all, they’re now slated for punishment. I think that by saying “I suppose I should get him to drop me off at the bookshop,” Aziraphale was gently informing Crowley that he doesn’t plan to leave Earth - he plans to die here. By saying “I don’t think my side would like that” about Crowley’s idea that they should live together, he’s giving Crowley one more chance to leave for the stars.

Good Omens is about a lot of things. One of them is opposites. Aziraphale’s faulty philosophical assumption is that blending two “opposite” things (or, in this case, people) will destroy them both. As far as he’s concerned, either one of those two people must first change, so that they’re no longer “opposite” (i.e. Crowley rejoins Heaven), or they must not mix (“I need a receptive body. It’s a pity I can’t inhabit yours! But occult, ethereal...we’d probably explode.”) The real truth is that having both of them together is the only way to win, of course. The Earth is a Libra and it thrives on balance, but not separation.

All this - the fact that Aziraphale will still ask for help with saving the world but denies his friendship with Crowley and seems to try to stay away as a protective measure - really suggests to me that Aziraphale loves Crowley, cares deeply about him, but wants him to stay only if he’s genuinely going to choose Earth for his own sake, not because he’s trying to choose Aziraphale (who, in his own opinion, is dangerous to be around; see 1601, the Holy Water, the bandstand). What he’s not taking into account is that he, Crowley, and the Earth are united as one, and it’s not only safe for the two of them to choose each other, but it’s essential.

Yeah. Leaving together on the bus is Aziraphale finally letting Crowley choose him.

***A little note about Crowley’s self-worth/will to live...I don’t mean to imply that he doesn’t have any interest in living outside of having a relationship with Aziraphale. Of course he does. But in that moment, with the incomplete information that Aziraphale has, it looks to him like that’s what is being said. In reality, Crowley’s despair isn’t just about not being friends anymore - it’s the belief that Aziraphale is dead, permanently gone. When you care a lot about someone, as hard as it is to move on from a breakup, it’s even more difficult to get over the despair of knowing that person is no longer out there at all. Combined with Armageddon, it was too much.

Crowley and Aziraphale are extremely oblivious, and yes, they do have some misunderstandings. But in the grand scheme of things, it’s not their mutual feelings that they’re oblivious to. It’s the fact that they actually do have the power to save each other. It took an act not of divine but of human intervention to get them to understand that.

[thgfanficinspo]

New chapter of my Odesta fic is up - please read!

(FINNICK)

They summon me, Blight, Cashmere, and Enobaria to an interview with Caesar Flickerman to discuss what happened with our tributes yesterday. They wanted Johanna to be on the panel, but she’s hung over and Caesar can’t stand her in general, so Blight takes over. I’d prefer Enobaria be replace, too – ideally by Lyme, but she’s too sympathetic for these blood-and-gore interviews. She doesn’t play up her victor persona.

I’m hung over, too, but there’s no getting out of this, especially after Snow cut me a break last night. Somes brings me some sort of concoction to calm my stomach after I barf in the kitchen sink. He’s one of those people that isn’t bothered by vomit at all, and I wonder if it has something to do with his life before he was an Avox. I know the ones from District 3 are usually electricians or techies; District 6 ones work in garages, doing repairs on trams and cars. I know the ones from the Capitol are usually servants, forced to wait on their former peers so they never forget their new status. 

I down the drink in one go and hand him back the empty glass. “Is this what you make for Broadsea?”

He nods.

“Does it work?”

He bobbles his head in a way that I think means, Not really or Sometimes.

“Fantastic.”

My stylist keeps quiet again. She’s usually very chatty and I usually don’t mind, but it was a rough night. And a rough morning.

When she’s done “sprucing me up” – a phrase Johanna taught me – I thank her and promise to be in a better mood next time.

She puckers her lips, which have been surgically altered to form a heart shape, and gives me a disproving look. “Mm-hmm.”

I like her much better than the last one.

I’m the third to arrive after Cashmere and Enobaria. Caesar greets me with an oversized smile and a handshake. “Finnick! Wonderful to see you as always. How have you been?”

I put on my best smile. “Can’t complain. And you?”

“Wonderful. Wonderful, wonderful! I was just telling Cashmere here how exciting these Games are already.” He leans forward slightly and lowers his voice as if to tell me a secret. “Between you and me, I was a little disappointed with the lack of action last year.”

“I think Timothy would disagree,” I say.

Cashmere whips out a few of her beloved blackberry cigarettes and offers them around. “Want one?”

“Sure.” I pluck one from her outstretched hand.

“Thank you, but I’m afraid blackberry isn’t my flavor,” says Caesar.

Enobaria spits, “I don’t smoke.”

Blight shows up out of breath. “Sorry. Overslept.”

We settle in around the table as Caesar starts his vocal warmups. I put out my cigarette as makeup artists apply an extra layer of powder to Blight’s sweaty forehead.

“I saw a kitten eating chicken in the kitchen.” Caesar over-pronounces each word. “I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.”

“Could we get some coffee maybe?” I ask no one in particular.

One of the production assistants comes bounding over with a huge mug. “Sugar, sir?”

“Yes. Lots of sugar.”

“Can I get a water?” Blight asks.

The assistant smiles politely, but the look in her eyes suggests she wants to smack him. “Of course.” How dare he interrupt her conversation with the illustrious Finnick Odair? She could be the woman to finally make that philanderer settle down! But now she’ll never know because some idiot wanted water.

“Betty bought some butter, but, said she, the butter’s bitter. If I put the butter in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.”

Cashmere lights another cigarette which we share. We take turns dragging and blowing out ribbons of pale purple smoke. Cashmere can blow out perfect blackberry-scented rings. I can't eat blackberries anymore because they remind me of Cashmere, of her cigarettes, of the way she tastes when we're forced to kiss.

“But a bit of better butter will make my bitter batter better. So Betty bought the better butter, better than the bitter butter, put it in her batter, and made her bitter batter better. It was better Betty bought some better butter.”

The assistant gives me and Blight our beverages as the director counts down. “Five. Four. Three. Two. One.” He points at Caesar to let him know he’s live.

“Good morning, Panem!” Caesar begins. “Yesterday, we witnessed the first major showdown between tributes following the bloodbath. Career tribute Piers Whitaker of District Four died trying to protect his counterpart, Annie Cresta, from his Career allies. Annie wounded Gad Centaury of District Seven, leaving his allies no choice but to kill him. Let’s take a look at that footage one more time.”

I concentrate on drinking my coffee while they play the clip.

Caesar directs the first question to me. “Now Finnick, I think what everyone at home is wondering – what do you make of Annie Cresta’s actions? I must say I was surprised. She didn’t strike me as being capable of such . . . violence.” He probably wanted to say savagery or barbarism but the whole thing is savage and barbaric. Needed to come up with a different word. “As her mentor, can you offer us any insight?”

This would be a great question for Johanna, who played the weakling when she was in the arena at first, but shocked the world with her violent attacks on the other tributes.

“You never know what someone is capable of until you put them in a situation like that,” I say. “I think that since we made it through those situations, victors know ourselves better than most.”

Caesar is nodding his head as he listens intently. “Mm-hmm.” He turns to Enobaria and asks her what she thinks of that statement.

Enobaria is a psycho but somehow doesn’t even make my list of the top five worst victors. What really puts me off about her is her teeth. In the final battle of her Games, she was pinned down by a boy twice her size and couldn’t move her arms or legs. The only weapon she had was her teeth, which she used to tear his neck wide open. That doesn’t bother me: she did what she had to do to survive. What does bother me is the fact that she had her teeth filed into fangs as an homage. I don’t know if she did it because she thought it would be a funny or if she plans to weaponize them again in the future.

“I agree,” she says to Caesar. “And I think all of our tributes are starting to understand who they are after this.”

“Oh, certainly. But what I want to know –” he puts his fingertips on the table and leans forward a bit “– is what do we think of Annie defeating Gad like that? Blight, any thoughts?”

Blight’s right in the middle of gulping down orange juice when Caesar asks the question so Cashmere answers instead. “Caesar, there’s always a longshot in the Games, and they always get farther than we expect. If you ask me, I think Gad was a bit too confident in his abilities.”

“There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance,” Caesar says. “Don’t you think so?” he asks me with a chuckle.

“Me? Caesar, I wouldn’t know anything about that.” I flash a shmoozy smile at him.

“Finnick, so saucy!” Caesar’s oversized teeth steal the show when he opens his mouth to chuckle.

I excuse myself to the bathroom, where I vomit up Somes’s tonic and everything I’ve eaten in the last three days. I’m washing my mouth out over the sink when one of the televisions in the bathroom – they have televisions in nearly every room – cuts to a shot of Annie Cresta opening her eyes.

(ANNIE)

I’m on the docks. I know that because I’m wet and I’m all nestled up in ropes. And I can smell the wetness. The water against the concrete edge of the port. I don’t like that smell. I don’t like it anymore.

My eyelids are heavy. There’s gunk in the corners the way there is sometimes when somebody wakes me up in the middle of the night. But it’s not the night. I don’t think it is. The air at night feels difference from this. The air at home feels different from this. So do the ropes on the dock.

I make my eyes open. I’m not on the dock by the water. There is no dock and there is no water. Concrete and rain and vines and the vines have me all tangled up and I don’t know where I am.

I know I should stand. Should walk. I’m not supposed to stay here but I can’t remember why.

Sit up. But my head hurts. Let’s go back to bed. No, no. Can’t do that. Get up up up. Gonna fall back down – no, hang onto the vines that feel like rigging and don’t fall down again, Annie!

My mother, she butchered me My father, he ate –

Silver thing floats down and lands at my feet. Parachute. A gift! I open it up as fast as I can but it’s nothing, just the cannister itself. A water bottle! I can use it for water.

But I had a water bottle. I just had it I just had it it was just I was just –

Can’t breathe. Hands on me squeezing me squeezing my neck and Piers is screaming and my thumbs are in his eyes and I look down at my hands and there’s jelly on them but not jam-jelly it’s jelly from the eyes from his eyes from his eyes from his eyes and Piers is screaming and I cover my ears to block out the sound but there’s still jelly on my hands and it gets on my face and in my hair and I try to clean it clean it but it won’t go away I try to scrape it off on a concrete wall and I scrape my skin off too.

My mother, she butchered me My father, he ate me My sister, little Ann-Marie She gathered up the bones of me

And tied them in a silken cloth to lay under the juniper            Tweet, tweet! What a pretty bird am I!

(FINNICK)

There are bruises across her neck in the shape of Gad’s hands where he choked her. it looks excruciatingly painful. The damage is enough that I doubt she’d even be able to swallow a sip of water.

I wince when she begins to sing, partially because of how painful it must be and partially because it’s – well, terrifying. Her squeaky, scratchy voice sends chills down my spine.

My mother, she butchered me My father, he ate me My sister, little Ann-Marie She gathered up the bones of me

And tied them in a silken cloth to lay under the juniper            Tweet, tweet! What a pretty bird am I!

She abruptly covers her ears like she’s trying to block out a sound, but the microphones in the arena don’t pick anything up. She tears her hands away and looks down at them. They’re still stained with blood.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.” She starts clawing at her own hands like she’s trying to peel something off – the blood, probably. When that doesn’t work, she presses her palms into a nearby cinderblock and drags her hands down it so hard that she scrapes off some of her skin and smears blood on the block.

My mother, she butchered me My father, he ate me My sister, little Ann-Marie She gathered up the bones of me

And tied them in a silken cloth to lay under the juniper            Tweet, tweet! What a pretty bird am I!

She lies back down among the vines and curls in on herself.

There’s a knock at the bathroom door. “Mr. Odair?” It sounds like the production assistant from before. “They want you on stage.” I don’t respond. “Mr. Odair? Are you in there?”

I shut my eyes and sigh. “Yeah, I’ll be right there.”

Blight and the others are leaving just as I come back to the stage. Caesar is looking at the monitor on the desk in front of him with a very strange expression. I know we’re not being recorded when I sit down and he asks me, “What on earth is she doing?”

“Singing, I guess.”

The song ends and Annie burrows into her little nest and falls asleep again. Caesar lets me go after we establish that the song is an old nursery rhyme and Annie’s in shock, and that there are nine far more interesting tributes to focus on, like the ailing tribute from District 2 or the boy from District 10 who captures and eats small mutts.

Maybe when Annie wakes up she’ll be normal again.

[goodm-omen-ts]

I’m going as far down the disabled/mentally ill/chronically ill Crowley and Aziraphale rabbit hole as I can go, so consider these:

Diabetic Aziraphale eating small meals to bring his blood sugar up. Consider also that perhaps he could miracle it steady but not only does that expend extra energy, food makes him feel better as a whole.

Crowley with dietary restrictions/digestive issues. We never see him eat when Aziraphale eats, but he knows how important it is to have his best friend well-fed and looked after.

Crowley and allergic asthma from sage, incense, etc. Fanfic recommendation for this one.

Autistic Aziraphale with his special interests in books, food, sleight of hand magic. Hyperfocusing on Agnes’s book, shoulder wiggling as a stim. He trusts others and may be considered gullible, finds change difficult and doesn’t participate in new idioms that are difficult to understand/memorize, plays by the rules and binary distinctions (e.g. consistently pointing out the difference between angels and demons) because they’re the Rules and Distinctions. Has a hard time with cognitive empathy but his affective empathy is a force to be reckoned with. Gabriel's crew bullies him for his special interests but Crowley is generally supportive. 

Crowley with mobility disability/ligament and joint hyperextension and chronic pain. As many have pointed out, that strut comes from the way his hips sit unevenly. The slouch is him finding a more or less comfortable way to sit. Those grimaces he makes when getting out of the Bentley and etc. aren’t moody, they’re pained. They switch bodies and Aziraphale is like, "Your back hurts so much??? You didn't tell me about the bit with the knees, either; I nearly fell over twice. The only comfortable thing to do was lie in the bath."

Crowley’s speech impediments include hissing and, as we’ve seen, stammering.

Crowley with sensory/light sensitivity, hence the sunglasses. 

Both with low vision. Crowley’s sunglasses are all prescription and Aziraphale has those little ones and Crowley is like ??? get bigger ones how the fuck do you see??? and Aziraphale is like, they work and I like them and besides, I have a magnifier for reading! 

Aziraphale with OCD, constantly thinking of the bad things that might happen/he’s afraid he could do to someone, Crowley in particular. “You go to fast for me,” is code for “This is making my brain is moving too fast for me right now.” Organizes his books meticulously, even if they don’t look it. Don’t touch his books. Please and thank you.

Borderline Crowley who’s afraid of being abandoned by Aziraphale, likes to speed, rapidly falls into anger, decides to take off to the stars to avoid actively losing everything he loves, and just wants to feel loved by the one he loves.

Bipolar Crowley. Aziraphale assumes that his plan to go to Alpha Centauri is the result of a manic episode.

Both of them with ADHD. See Aziraphale hyperfocusing above. Crowley with RSD that nearly makes him fly off to Alpha Centauri when Aziraphale says he doesn’t even like him. “DUCKS. That’s what water slides off!!” All Crowley's tapes are Best of Queens because he always forgets to take them out of the cassette player. 

Now consider further adaptability and accessibility potential:

Miraculously a bench is always nearby when Crowley needs to sit.

Canes that have practical and aesthetic value like silver snakes carved into the handle and/or curled around the stick. 

Crowley stopping time so that Aziraphale can have a breath and a think before he has a proper meltdown.

The path clearing at St. James's Park and other crowded areas so they can get through safely.

Crowley debriefing Aziraphale on social interactions that have gone awry for some reason.

Learning how to work at each other’s pace without always feeling overwhelmed or abandoned.

More??? Please give me more fuel for fanfiction.

[eljackinton]

Jack's End of Year Video Game Round-up.

There were many things I couldn't do this year, being in lockdown and all, which in turn meant I played a hell of a lot more video games than I normally do. Here's a quick rundown of what I thought of them.

Hitman 2

IO have sort of perfected the Hitman formula now, so future entries in the series simply have to ask the question of what new directions you can take that formula. In that regard Hitman 2 is a resounding success, setting sneaking and assassination in scenarios around the world from race tracks to holiday resorts, and thus making it the best entry yet. It's possible one day the Hitman conceit will wear thin, but today is not that day.

Thronebreaker

Most people will go into Thronebreaker just wanting a stand-alone version of the Gwent we played during Witcher 3. Thronebreaker is not that. Indeed, even beyond the changes to the mechanics brought in by the online version, Thronebreaker is more of a puzzle game which uses the mechanics of Gwent to concoct unique scenarios. Still, the story is pretty good and it is fun overall, even if it didn't end up scratching the itch left by Gwent.

Black Mesa (Xen)

I returned to Black Mesa after Xen was finally added, eager to see what the team had come up with. My feelings are complicated. The Xen portions of the game are really well designed, great to play and visually beautiful. However the levels hew so far from the Half-Life originals that it kind of stops feeling like Half-Life. I would have like to have seen a more faithful recreation to be honest.

Neon Struct

If you've been wanting a spiritual sequel to Thief that actually used the mechanics of Thief, here you go. Though low budget, and therefore having somewhat uninspiring visuals based on reused assets, it's still a really impressive game from what the team had to work with, and it's short enough that it doesn't outstay it's welcome.

Acid Spy

I'm generally usually okay at stealth games but this one was well beyond my skill level. Got through the tutorial but just got frustrated and quit on the first mission.

Salting the Earth

A wonderfully put together visual novel about the legacy of war and the nature of national identities. Also you date buff orc women. One of the best VNs I've played, but it does have some pretty bleak potential endings that clash somewhat with the rest of the story's tone.

Hedon

Speaking of buff orc women, Hedon is a vivid, perfectly designed retro-shooter that really uses the most of it's engine to bring it's world to life, with shades of Thief and Strife thrown in there. Wears its hornieness on it's sleeve, but if you can roll with that you'll have nothing but a good time.

The Painscreek Killings

I really really loved this immersive narrative game, where you explore an abandoned town to piece together a series of suspicious deaths. My only gripes are the town looks very British despite being set in the US, and the final confrontation adding a chase scene felt a little over dramatic.

Deus Ex Mankind Divided

There are many problems with Mankind Divided. Trying to find another story to do with Adam Jensen. Making the game more of an open world by taking away the usual Deus Ex globe-trotting. The clumsy use of racial metaphor being applied to cyborgs. All in all the game just didn't really come together, which is a shame, because the DLC showed such promise, and hinted at the real Deus Ex game we could have had.

Warhammer Armageddon DLC

I managed to complete the Salamanders DLC and got stuck near the end of the Blood Angels one. All in all it's simply 'more' of what the base game offered, and I'm not sure it really needed it.

Unavowed

Easily one of the most interesting games I played this year. So good It inspired me to write a cheesy fanfic. Sure the mechanics of applying squad mechanics to a point and click are interesting, but it's the world, the art and the characters themselves that really make this game. Highly recommended.

Devil Daggers

The ultimate distillation of classic shooter mechanics. One platform, one weapon, endless enemies. I didn't get all that far into it and I think most people won't, but I'm not going to complain for the price. Overdue a revisit.

Dream Daddy

A fun and fluffy dating game that actually does a good job of putting you into the mindset of a recently bereaved bisexual dad. Come for the hunks, stay for the really affecting story of a strained relationship between father and daughter.

Greedfall

Greedfall falls short of the mark in most aspects, but I have to give it credit for being one of the few games to give us a Bioware companion-centric adventure during this drought of Bioware games. It lacks the zing of something like Dragon Age, and handles the subject of colonialism really problematically, but if you can get past those issues, it's a fun ride, and a world I'd like to revisit.

Endless Legend

I've been wanting a game to scratch the Alpha Centauri itch for decades now and Endless Legend finally did it. There is a risk of being overwhelmed by the sheer number of unique factions to play, and I know I still haven't really scratched the surface even after 4 full campaigns. Is that a criticism? I suppose it depends if you think you can have too much of a good thing.

Space Hulk Deathwing Enhanced Edition

A valiant effort was put in to make a faithful FPS of the Space Hulk experience, but ultimately it falls far too short. The visuals look great and the game-feel of stomping around as a Space Marine really works, but the game lacks charm and character. Up against Vermintide, there's no comparison.

Sunless Sea

This is a game that feels like a bottomless abyss of secrets and mysteries tied up in a very brutal one-life-only system. I really enjoyed my time with Sunless Seas, with the music calling me like a wailing siren every now and again, yet in many ways I did find it a bit too unforgiving, and it could have benefited from having a bit more of a progression between lives than the almost solid reset it leaves you with.

Age of Empires / 2 / 3 Definitive Editions

The first Age of Empires has an important place in history, but is borderline unplayable by today's standards. Almost every aspect was improved in 2 and going back now feels like trading a car for a horse and cart. It's clear that the game was intending your slow crawl out of the stone age through hunting and gathering to be part of the game in its own right, but today it's just tedious, and the rest of the game is just so slow.

There isn't much to say about Age of Empire 2 that I haven't already said, but I will point out that multiplayer AOE2 has kept me sane over the course of the lockdown, and I'm glad the Definitive Edition enhanced that experience.

Age of Empire 3 tried too hard to reinvent the wheel. Instead of taking 2 and building on it, it instead contorted it around a colonisation theme, and it didn't really work. On top of that, the mechanics really felt they were built more for single-player story missions. The maps are too small, and the expansion factions clash with the rules badly. Still, there is fun to be had, and I'll be checking out the campaigns next year.

Hand of Fate 2

This game takes the original Hand of Fate and adds way, way too much into it. While I appreciate the addition of companions, a longer story mode, and optional side missions, the game is far too experimental with it's formula, and leaves me struggling with complex missions around being lost in a desert or evading barbarian hordes, when all I wanted was a straight forward dungeon crawl. I tapped out two thirds of the way through the campaign.

Wild Guns Reloaded

I love the style and aesthetic, but I just don't have the reflexes (or the gamepad) for these fast paced arcade games.

Vermintide 2 Drakenfels

Fatshark gave us an entire Vermintide campaign for free this year, at the cost of having to be subjected to obnoxious cosmetic micro-tranactions. Hard to say it was worth the price, but Fatshark really do continue to improve, bringing new scope and ideas to every new mission. As good as it gets.

Pendula Swing

A fun little game that apes the visuals of a Baldur's Gate style RPG but the mechanics of a point and click adventure game set in a fantasy version of the roaring twenties. A strong introduction to it's setting but definitely needs building on if we're to see a continuation. A lot of the world-building feels too simple and half-baked at times, and the gameplay feels like too much is going on too fast. Still, a charming story though.

The Shiva / The Blackwell Series

At first I had no idea that Unavowed was connected to a host of other Wadget Eye adventure games, so naturally I had to check them out. I'd known about The Shiva and the Blackwell games for years, but never actually thought about picking them up. Playing them all back to back was a great experience, and almost felt like a prototype to the episodic storytelling many games do today.

Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light/Temple of Osiris

Guardian of Light is a fun, inventive co-op game for killing some time with a friend. The puzzles are often unique and interesting and get you thinking, and the story, while nothing fantastic, is fun enough to keep you interested and have a laugh about with your co-op partner in a B-Movie kind of way. Temple of Osiris adds way too much to the formula, with more characters, mechanics and more open exploration and it absolutely loses the charm of the first game, and even then it's buggy as hell. Skip the second one.

Command and Conquer Remastered

Big chunks of my childhood are taken up with memories of playing Command and Conquer and Red Alert, so it's difficult to really gauge my thoughts on the remaster. On the one hand the art direction looks great and preserves the feel of the original, and the quality of life improvements to the gameplay help make it more playable. The nostalgia hit is also palpable. That being said, the mechanics have not aged all that well, with much of the game being far, far too hard. Probably the best way to experience the genesis of the RTS genre but just know what you're getting in for.

Superhot Mind Control Delete

I wrote a lot at length about how unsure I was about Mind Control Delete at the time, and that's because it does feel a little unsure about itself. Is it a continuation of the first game? A fun bonus mode? A mediation on the nature of addiction? A critique of video game content? A joke on the player? I don't know, but I do know one thing, and that is that Superhot is still as addictive as hell.

Opus Magnum

Zachtronic's steampunk alchemy game requires far too much maths brain than I am capable of , and so I had to rely on guides a lot of the time, but that being said, it's still amazingly put together and vividly presented. Really feels like a game that could be used in schools.

Necromunda Underhive Wars (Story Mode)

I'll be checking out Underhive's Campaign mode in the new year, but for now I just want to talk about the story mode. Much like Mordheim, this is a game that's not going to work for everyone, but I really dug it and like it's unique take on a squad based TBS. However, in many respects the game does feel like a missed opportunity. The storyline is fun enough, and the arsenal robust, but much of the character of the tabletop game, the weird, chaotic, and sometimes comical things that can happen over the course of a battle seems to have been lost in translation, as has the quirky character to a lot of the gangs.  

Outer Wilds

There is little I can say about Outer Wilds that hasn't already been said by others, particularly that one should go into the game as blind as possible. A beautiful piece of interactive art, words would fail me in describing it anyway.

Life is Strange 2

Fantastically written, amazingly animated, wonderfully acted, and grim and depressing as all hell. I really love Life is Strange 2, but it it a tough game to bare witness to, especially in 2020. It treats it's subject matter with great maturity, but is so dark it's hard to motivate yourself to continue each gruelling episode. Also, I really think it would have fared better if it had not named itself Life is Strange 2, as not following Max and Chloe turned a lot of people away from a game I think they'd have otherwise enjoyed if they'd named it Wolf Brothers or something.

Half Life 2 / Episodes / Portal / 2/ Mel

After playing Black Mesa earlier this year I decided to revisit the entire Half Life 2 and Portal series. What I concluded is that Half Life 2 is not really all that good. A well told story wrapped around weak combat and average encounter design. This much improves across the episodes of course, but in the end I rather feel Half Life 2 is pretty overrated.

Portal, on the other hand, still feels fresh, though I was surprised I'd forgotten just how much was added in Portal 2, to the point Portal feels more like a game demo. That being said, I think the slowly growing mystery and menace of Portal has aged a lot better than the gagfest the series became with 2. Mel, a stand-alone mod that feels like could be a Portal 3 in it's own right, returns to a more serious tone, and feels all the stronger because of it.

Control

Control has gone from a game I didn't really care about all that much to one of my favourites of the year, if not the decade. Sure there are criticisms I could make, but the world has so much depth, the characters so much potential, and the gameplay such perfectly designed chaos, that it wouldn't really matter. A great time was had.

Icewind Dale 2

Finishing Icewind Dale 2 was the final banishing of the old ghosts of Infinity Engine games I never finished as a kid. Sure there was the nostalgia, but Icewind Dale 2 also feels prefect for the Baldurs Gate era's swan song. Beautiful environments, a well written story and great interface and design, only pulled down due to some overly long busywork at various points and the plot being dragged on a little too long. Still, sad to know I have no further Infinity Engine games left to conquer.

Elsinore

The first half of Elsinore is an absolutely great time-loop mystery, which seems to be an interesting interrogation of Shakespearian tropes and asks the question of how much of a Shakespearian tragedy remains the more you change it. The second half, however, quickly devolves into a cosmic horror story that feels a poor fit for the genre and far too grim for the art style, and that's even before it basically devolves into trying to do the same thing Undertale did but worse. A well put together game whose ending did not sit well with me.

Gwent: The Witcher Card Game

Since Thronebreaker didn't sate my appetite I started playing competitive Gwent. It is a wholly different game than the one that appears in The Wither 3, but is certainly fascinating in it's own right. After 200 hours I am officially addicted, somebody please send help.

And that's that. Not doing a top 5 games of the year because I played too many this year and I've spent too much time thinking about them already. Here's hoping I play less in 2021 and can get back to a more normal life.

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

Of Aliens and Alpha Centauri: Space in Good Omens (1/3)

. So just yesterday, in one of the many discussions of Alpha Centauri and the practicality of our two favorite disasters running off together, @theniceandaccurategoodomensblog raised the perfectly valid question: “Why are we assuming there are no aliens?” And I said I had a lot of thoughts on the subject. This meta is the result of those thoughts and questions.

Broadly, the question of whether or not there would be aliens comes down to “what is the purpose of all that space in the Good Omens universe?” Everything we see is focused on Earth and the creation and destruction thereof, which, when you consider the scale of the whole universe, is really not that Big a story at all.

But the treatment of space is a little different depending on which version you use as your source material. If you try to combine the book and the TV show, you get some contradictions.

So I’m going to tackle each separately, starting with the book below the break, pulling together all my observations and thoughts on What does Good Omens really have to say about space?

I’m not going to do this on a strict schedule, but I have three parts planned and will post them as I find the time to write them!

(Source: I’m a huge sci-fi nut and think way too hard about everything, but I’m not any kind of expert. Other insights and comments are 10000% welcome.)

Good Omens Book

The book has, perhaps, the simplest approach to space: it’s barely mentioned.

For those unfamiliar, there is no mention of Alpha Centauri, or running away, or Crowley helping create stars/nebulae/whatever it is he made. Unless I missed one, all references to space in the book are:

The Earth is a Libra (p.17)

Crowley’s amazing drunken rant about the bird and the spaceship (p.54-57)

Adam and The Them talking about aliens and how aliens are now all about peace and harmony and being some kinda space cops “They all have this bright blue light around ‘em and go around doing good. Sort of g’lactic policemen, going round tellin’ everyone to live in universal harmony and stuff” (p. 156, part of a slightly longer discussion)

Newt meeting aliens who talk about peace and harmony while being some kinda space cops (p. 197-199)

That’s it; Crowley (then Crawly) doesn’t even ask about putting the Tree on the Moon, the line is instead “why not put it on top of a high mountain or a long way off?” (p.10).

Just because it’s simple, however, doesn’t mean we can’t learn a great deal.

Humanity has watched the stars for all of our history; they can be used to navigate, to tell time; the constellations are used to record stories; astrology attempts to make sense of the chaos of everyday life through the motions of heavenly bodies. The motions of the stars and planets has been calculated and recorded for as long as we’ve had enough knowledge of math to do that (so ancient Sumeria and Egypt, and by ancient I mean 4-5 thousand years ago), while less predictable events such as eclipses and comets have been taken as  ill omens or signs of Heavenly disfavor.*

The prevailing model in the West was geocentric (Earth in the center) and contained what we call the “Heavenly Spheres”; Earth was a globe surrounded by clear layered spheres, and across each sphere one of the seven planets moved in its predictable track. (The seven planets were: The sun, the moon, Mars, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter and Saturn - a planet being defined as a “wandering heavenly body that does not follow the fixed course of all the other stars”). Beyond all these was the final sphere, containing all the stars like a painted ceiling, and all moving together, rotating around a point near Polaris, the North Star.

The stars were predictable, but mysterious, unexplainable - but they existed to serve the story of mankind because why else would they exist? 

This mindset carries into Good Omens - at least the book, and probably the Radio Drama as well (I haven’t heard it in ages, but I don’t think it deviated from the major points). The universe is vast and huge and filled with “loads of buggerall” (p. 56) - Aziraphale’s comments confirm that, at the very least, angels and demons are confident that the universe is a vast vacuum (matching our modern ideas of cosmology) and also that it has a physical end somewhere (due to the way space-time curves, this might not necessarily be the case).**

And yet.

All these vast loads of burgerall are slated to be destroyed along with the Earth, aren’t they?

It certainly seems they were created at the same time. We know that there had only been “rather more than seven” days as of the start of the book, and that “rain hadn’t been invented yet” (p. 9). The language suggests not only that Earth is a new thing, but that there isn’t another planet out there that already experienced days and rain. Crowley, at least, believes that God created the whole universe (p. 373) and there seems nothing in the book to contradict this.

As for Armeggedon, it’s referenced as the “final test” and as “testing everything to destruction” and so forth (p. 48). At the final showdown on the airbase, Metatron refers to the great plan of a world lasting six thousand years (p. 352), and again this could refer to Earth only, or it could be the universe as a whole. In fact, as a general rule, the book simply conflates the earth and the universe, as if they were the same thing. And they are. Much like in the more Medieval and Classical worldview outlined above, there could be lots of stars and things out there but they only serve as a backdrop to the real important things going on here on Earth. Everything was created at the same time, and the only reason it might not be destroyed all at once is if the winning side decides they like the view and want to keep it.

The only hint that there might be more to the universe than Heaven, Hell and the little stage for their cold war (Earth) is the appearance of the aliens to Newt.

And yet, what are they described as? One is “stubby and green,” the one that talks to Newt is “a yellow toad dressed in kitchen foil...wearing the kind of mirror-finished sunglasses that Newt had always thought of as Cool Hand Luke shades” and the third is “a pepper pot.”

Two aliens as designed by a child, one clearly doing some vague Space Cop look, and a Dalek. The ship itself “looked like every cartoon of a flying saucer Newt had ever seen” (p. 197). I never ever got the impression these aliens were anything other than figments summoned from Adam’s head, spouting buzzwords he’d seen in New Aquarian (acid rain, albedo, polar ice caps) while acting like cops do in movies. And their message “We give you a message of universal peace and cosmic harmony an’ suchlike” (p. 198) - the “an’” instead of “and” is one of the distinguishing marks of how Adam and The Them talk. This is another one of his stories and games, played out on a much wider scale.***

My primary conclusion here would be that aliens cannot exist in the Book!Omens universe. The universe is the backdrop, Earth is where the real drama plays out. The universe has only existed for 6,000 years, not nearly enough time for other life to have evolved separately. God could have created life on the other worlds, but there is no indication that this ever happened, that there are other playgrounds on which this fight is being acted out - Crowley and Aziraphale never even consider the possibility that they’ll be reassigned elsewhere. It’s Earth, and then eternity in Head Office, no other options.

Book Omens: Other Possibilities?

I do think there is one alternative possible for Book!Omens: if we are willing to throw away the strictly supernatural elements of the book, it could be re-envisioned as a sci-fi story, in which God, angels, and demons are actually super-dimensional aliens who, by Clark’s Third Law, are sufficiently advanced to be indistinguishable from actual angels and demons. I refer to this as the Stargate Interpretation.****

More accurately, God would have to be the super-dimensional being, and would have created the Earth as a place to let the story play out; the angels and demons are then direct creations who buy 100% into the narrative they are given. Everything else can still exist - Lucifer rebels because of the same reasons, takes along all the unsatisfied angels, Heaven and Hell are only concerned with Earth because that’s all they’ve been told to concern themselves with. Their afterlives exist still, but only because humans were created to fit into that system.

Meanwhile, literally anything could be going on in the rest of the universe. There could be alien races thousands of years older than the earth. There could be galactic empires. Who knows? Not people on Earth. Our world was isolated from all that by superdimensional shenanigans.

But, and this is important, in order to maintain the illusion, angels and demons must be kept as much in ignorance of all this as humans. Might lead you to question the power of the being with the Ineffable Plans if those plans only extend to the edge of the solar system and don’t even go particularly far back in time.

Now, do I think this is the best headcanon for the book? Nope. This is a supernatural story, the threat of Heaven and Hell is so looming and menacing because there’s no other force out there, nowhere to appeal except the “higher authority” that isn’t, apparently, listening, and there’s no option to escape just by relocating to a new world. I think trying to force the Stargate Interpretation on it would diminish the story, and I really don’t think it’s what the authors intended at all.

However, I also think this would make for a very interesting fanfic in the hands of the right writer. Book Aziraphale or Crowley suddenly discovering that the scope of Head Office’s powers is much more limited than they’d thought? Who knows about this - have the Archangels and Lords of Hell been covering this up to keep the lower-level angels and demons from rebelling? Would their “miraculous” powers still operate the same on these alien worlds? Are there other beings out there more powerful? Or going the other direction - are there other worlds also playing out their own little pantomime of Eden and Armageddon? Are they created by the same God, or other members of the same race, and what are the implications either way? Does each world have an Aziraphale and a Crowley, or is the main GO world the first to screw up the Apocalypse so badly they survive it - and what is the implication of that?

There’s a whole lot of scope for interesting AUs out of this, and I’d be rather surprised if no one has written any, seeing as the book came out thirty years ago. (If any are available on AO3, send us links - this sounds a bit niche, but I’d love for fans to be able to find these!) I would consider them AUs though; the default assumption of the book is no aliens and including them is a deviation, just as adding in Hogwarts or Charles Xavier’s school while keeping everything else the same is a deviation.

However, in the TV series, space is certainly more present in the narrative, and the Stargate Interpretation doesn’t work as well. Can we reach any clear conclusions? I’ll attempt to find out in my next meta!

(Too important to footnote: We know that Atlantis vanished (p.372) so most likely Adam’s aliens did as well. There is, still, the possibility that they continued to exist after the end of the world. I think their somewhat shoddy appearance and very cliched dialogue suggest the aliens would, at best, continue to cycle through similar interactions to what we saw with Newt until Adam either “deactivated” or “updated” them. What would they do then? Did he create entire races and homeworlds for them or - as I rather suspect - did he just make the one ship full and then move on to the next?)

-- Footnotes --

*Note: the math for predicting eclipses has also existed for thousands of years, but was more difficult for ancient cultures to confirm because only a fraction of eclipses are visible from a certain spot. Several ancient cultures were eventually able to work out the pattern, notably ones that either ruled over a lot of land or else had good information exchange with their neighbors. Comets took a LOT longer, and indeed as late as the 16th century many believed each comet was unique and traveled linearly through the solar system, never to return. Edmond Halley (working partly from observations by Isaac Newton) was able to demonstrate that comets did in fact orbit the sun, and predicted the return of the comet now named for him in 1758. He also was the first to observe and describe the proper motion of stars, that is, the fact that they don’t actually travel in one large fixed group. 

**Also, I find it delightful that, along with thinking dolphins are fish, Aziraphale says the bird crossing the universe would need a generation starship - which as a sci-fi trope has been somewhat out of fashion since the 1970s, in favor of faster-than-light starships. This alone says volumes about his taste in literature and science.

***The fact that the alien refers to its own message as “one of them pheonomena” (p.198) - a term Shadwell uses - does suggest that Newt’s own imagination is filling in the gaps left by Adam.

****Just gonna go ahead and out myself as a lifelong Stargate fan don’t mind me. That said, Terry Pratchett also explores a world made in this style in his pre-Discworld novel, Strata, which contains a flat world in a sci-fi setting, where everything operates according to a medieval worldview. It is a fascinating read, not least for the inclusion of several elements that would later find a permanent home in the Discworld series. If you can find it, read it.

tagging the commenters who said yesterday they would be interested:

@sarahthecoat​ @ineffableove​ @akawestruck​