#you know what... even though i feel weird today i am genuinely such a happy person at the moment.

[hotdyke-hardstyle]

💞new year new blog makeover💞

[harmeu]

HOW DO HSR MEN REACT TO THEIR S/O NOT ACTING LIKE THEIR NORMAL SELF

(GN!Reader)

(Boothill, Dr. Ratio, Sunday)

BOOTHILL:

Something was wrong today and Boothill knew it. You were occasionally picking at your food. More quiet than usual. And didn’t even kiss him goodnight! Do you know how much that hurt the poor guy? He nuzzled into a unicorn stuffy to make himself feel better for goodness sake!

But you had him worried. Really worried.

“Ay, you doing alright?” He murmured, fixing his hat giving you his signature toothy smile.

“Yeah I’m fine.” You mumbled back a reply which was totally bull. You were feeling really shitty for no reason. It was one of those days where everything was boring and dull.

Boothill taking notice of your quietness he picked you up bridal style making you yelp.

“Babe what on earth!” You choked out surprised and he smirked.

“I’m gonna buy you whatever you want okay? I just wanna see your pretty smile back.” He cooed out stroking your hair making you flush in surprise and happiness.

“..Thanks. I’ve just been out of it.” You mumbled out a reply reddening further at his touch which he chuckled at.

“We all have our days. C’mon!” He put you in a more comfortable position in his arms taking you into the city.

DR. RATIO:

Usually Veritas was the grumpy one in the relationship. Always talking about his studies and all the degrees he’d earn during his days at university. Though none of that came into mind when he saw you acting out of it. When he tried to talk to you, you ignored him! Now that hurt his ego a lot. 

And his feelings.

“May I ask why you are acting in such a different manner than usual?” He said with his occasional stoic tone his gaze narrowing as he saw you sit on the couch staring into space.

“It’s nothing.” You mumble out a reply making Veritas gaze narrow further and his eyebrows furrow into knits.

“Nonsense. I am your spouse. It is obligatory to tell each other how you feel.” He huffed out crossing his arms.

You feeling crappy and not wanting to deal with his constant persistence gave up.

“I just feel tired. Everything seems so dull today.” You pull your knees to your chest praying he didn’t see your exhausted state that was there for no reason.

Veritas eyes softened. He grabbed your hand and kissed its knuckles making you flush ever so lightly.

“What are y-”

“Tell me what I can do to make the boredom vanish.” He cuts you off murmuring into your knuckle.

The only thing that came to your mind was..

“Your presence.” You whisper out and Veritas sits on the couch with you letting you lay on his shoulder.

SUNDAY:

Something wasn’t right. Sunday noticed easily with his perspective self. His hands twitched as you didn’t say a singular word to him the entire day. His wings drooped every time you passed by him without saying anything. As well as his halo dimming every time.

“Darling, what’s gotten you acting this way today?” You know his question was genuine but it stung for no reason. Did you need a reason to act this way?

“I’m just more tired than usual. Even though nothing has happened today. I think that's the reason..I know, weird.”

Sunday sighed and he smiled gently using his gloved hand to pick up your chin quietly placing a soft kiss onto your lips makes you stutter. 

“W-what was that for?” You redden looking up at him with wide eyes.

“There's an expression that isn’t dull.” He murmured out ruffling your hair. “You made me think I wasn’t treating you well.” 

You hitch at his words and shake your head rapidly.

“Of course not! You know I love you.” You stare up at him with those wide eyes making Sunday melt and kiss you again.

My posts aren't consistent im so sorry guys : (

[ninjatrashpanda]

The Other Shoe (Waiting for it to drop)

Written for @bucktommypositivityweek Round 2! Today's prompt is "Coming Out Scenes!"

Read it on AO3 here.

“I, uh, I think it’s time to face the music,” Buck whispered, tugging on Tommy’s sleeve. His eyes wandered over to his parents, who had watched him and Tommy like hawks throughout the entire reception, though Buck had a hard time predicting what they were thinking. On one hand, therapy had been going well, and while The Buckleys would probably never be the big happy family Buck had wished for as a kid, Mom and Dad were trying. They had been nothing but supportive about him being Connor and Kameron’s sperm donor last year, and Buck would be lying if he said he hadn’t felt a pang of appreciation when they had stood up for him against Chimney’s father and stepmother.

On the other hand, well, these were his parents, and old fears die hard. While they had apologized for how they had treated him and Maddie and become better, there was a little voice at the back of his head that told him they’d just be disappointed again. The fact that his mother hadn’t managed to get rid of the bewildered look on her face since he had dragged Tommy into Chimney’s hospital room didn’t help.

“Should I be scared?” Tommy asked, raising an eyebrow.

Buck chuckled, though it sounded more like a nervous exhale. He stole another glance at his parents, then shifted his gaze to the floor, kicking at an imaginary speck of dust. “Nah,” he said, though he admittedly wasn’t even able to convince himself of that. “Not scared. Just... prepared.”

Tommy followed Buck’s gaze across the room, where Buck’s parents stood stiffly by a wall, half-empty champagne flutes clutched tightly in their hands. Buck knew they had been mingling just a few minutes ago, but he still couldn’t help but feel that they looked, well, out of place. While they were nothing but polite, they didn’t really mesh with anyone else, and always seemed a little awkward.

“They don’t seem like they bite,” Tommy observed, in that casual, dry tone Buck had grown to appreciate over the past few weeks. In an instant, a part of his anxiety evaporated and bubbled to the surface in a barely held back snort.

“Not literally, no.” Buck ran a hand through his hair with a shake of his head, the slight smile Tommy had brought to his face staying on his face. “It’s just... history, you know? They’re trying, and I get that, I do. But sometimes it’s like...” He trailed off with a shrug, struggling to find the right words. “It’s like I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Tommy nodded, his hand reaching out to squeeze Buck’s. Buck had told him the basics, how Maddie had practically raised him, how their parents had been neglectful and controlling. He vaguely knew about Daniel, too, though Buck hadn’t delved into the whole Savior Baby thing yet. The subject was…touchy, to say the least, and while he knew he had to breach it at some point, he wanted Tommy to have as neutral an opinion on his parents as possible. They were putting in the effort, so Buck figured they deserved that much.

“Well,” Tommy said, squeezing Buck’s hand again, a bit firmer this time, “if things get weird, you’ve got me for backup. Just say the word, and I’ll distract them with my fake mouth static.”

Buck couldn’t help but let out a genuine laugh at that, which surprised even himself. Tommy had a knack for diffusing tension, and Buck was grateful for it. It was one of the reasons he had gravitated toward him in the first place. He tightened his grip on Tommy’s hand, drawing strength from the contact, before letting go and straightening up.

“Good idea. You’re renowned for your fake mouth static after all.”

“Damn right I am.”

They stood there for a moment, neither quite willing to take the first step towards the inevitable conversation. The reception was starting to wind down, (because the nurses were kicking people out now) so at least if this developed into a scene, not too many people would end up seeing. Chimney, now recovering well after the whole viral encephalitis debacle, was in high spirits, chatting animatedly with Hen and Karen. Maddie was close by his side, smiling brighter than he had ever seen, seemingly refusing to let go of her new husband’s arm.

The love between them gave Buck a tiny surge of courage. If Maddie and Chimney could find happiness after everything they had been through, then maybe things could work out with his and Maddie’s parents too.

“Alright,” Buck said, straightening his posture, bracing himself for impact. “Let’s do this.”

They crossed the room together, Tommy a step behind Buck, offering silent support. Buck’s parents straightened as he approached, their faces neutral masks. They clearly didn’t know how to react, and Buck could hardly blame them for that.

“Hi,” Buck said, forcing a smile. “You probably have a few questions.”

His mother’s eyes softened, but there was still a glimmer of uncertainty in them. His father cleared his throat, his grip on the champagne flute tightening just slightly. The atmosphere was stiff, and the air felt thick enough to cut it with a knife.

“Hi, Buck,” his mother replied, her voice wavering just a bit. Buck was actually (positively) surprised that she used his nickname, though he had to admit it sounded almost foreign in her voice. “Yes, we, uh…” She glanced at his father, who nodded, urging her to continue. “We do have some questions, but—”

“We don’t want to push,” his father interjected, his tone uncharacteristically gentle. “We’re just… trying to understand.”

Buck nodded slowly, the tension in his shoulders easing just a fraction. They weren’t throwing accusations and bad faith arguments around, so that was a good start. Still, Buck knew that they weren’t out of the woods yet. He hadn’t spoken about the big B yet, after all.

“Yeah,” Buck said, rubbing the back of his neck, a nervous habit he hadn’t quite outgrown. “I figured. And, uh, it’s okay to ask. I know this is… a lot.”

He could see the moment his mother tried to put on a brave face, her lips curving into a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “We were surprised, that’s all,” she said. “When you came into the room with…”

She trailed off, her eyes moving over Buck’s shoulder to where he knew Tommy stood just a foot or two behind him. He took a deep breath. This was it. No going back. He had thought about it for weeks at this point, had said it out loud to himself in the mirror, but not to anybody else, not even Maddie or Tommy.

“Tommy.” He turned slightly, reaching out his hand out to Tommy, who took it into his own with a smile as he stepped up. “Mom, Dad, this is Tommy Kinard. He’s my date. He, uh… he’s the reason I figured out that I’m bisexual.”

The words hung in the air for what felt like an eternity. Buck could feel his heart pounding in his chest, the sound of his blood rushing through his ears almost deafening. He knew this moment was pivotal (one of the most important in his life, probably) and the weight of it pressed down on him like the world on Atlas’ shoulders.

His parents exchanged glances, and Buck could see an onslaught of emotions flitting across their faces: surprise, confusion, and perhaps a flicker of something that could be hope. His mother’s fingers tightened around the stem of her champagne flute, and his father took a small step closer to her.

Tommy, for his part, stayed by Buck’s side, his presence a quiet but powerful anchor. He gave Buck’s hand a reassuring squeeze, a silent promise that he was here, and that he wouldn’t leave. Buck was grateful for that; it reminded him that no matter what was going to happen, he wasn’t alone.

His mother was the first to speak. “Bisexual,” she repeated, as if testing the word on her tongue. Her brow furrowed slightly, but there was no trace of anger or disappointment in her tone. Instead, she seemed...curious. “I…well, I didn’t expect that.”

Buck could see his father’s jaw tighten momentarily before he let out a slow breath. “Buck,” he began, his voice careful, deliberate. “This is…this is a lot to take in. But I want you to know that we’re listening. We’re trying to understand.”

Buck nodded. This wasn’t a rejection, not outright. But it wasn’t exactly acceptance either, not yet, at least. Still, it was something, and in this moment, something was better than nothing.

“I know it’s a lot,” Buck said, his voice quieter now. “And I don’t expect you to get it all at once. I only figured it out a few weeks ago, too. I just wanted you to know, because…because it’s who I am. And Tommy… he’s important to me.”

His mother’s eyes softened at that, and Buck could see her shifting, recalibrating her thoughts, trying to process this new piece of information about her son. “Tommy,” she said, as if tasting the name for the first time. She looked at him then, really looked at him, and there was something in her gaze that was almost…gentle. “It’s nice to meet you, Tommy.”

Tommy smiled, his usual confidence replaced by an almost shy nervousness. “Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Buckley. And Mr. Buckley,” he added, nodding respectfully toward Buck’s father.

Buck’s father gave a small nod in return, though his expression remained unreadable. “Tommy,” he repeated, his voice a bit more measured. “You’re… Buck’s boyfriend?”

Buck sucked in a sharp breath. Obviously that question would come up. He should’ve been prepared for it, but he wasn’t. He and Tommy hadn’t even really had that conversation. He’d certainly like for Tommy to be his boyfriend, he just wasn’t sure if Tommy was at that point yet. It had only been a few weeks after all. They had been on four dates, one of which was a complete disaster, and another that hadn’t even been a date at first, but an apology for the date that had been a complete disaster.

“Yeah,” Tommy said, his tone steady. “I’m his boyfriend. And I know this might be surprising, but Evan…he means a lot to me. I care about him.”

Buck’s breath hitched in his throat. He hadn’t expected Tommy to say it outright. He had expected a lighthearted “Not yet” or “We’re seeing each other.” That he’d gone right ahead… Buck’s heart swelled just a little bit. He squeezed Tommy’s hand a little tighter, grateful beyond words. Tommy’s answer made Buck just a little braver.

Finally, his mother spoke again. “I…I see,” she said, her voice softer now, almost hesitant. She looked at Buck, her eyes searching his, as if trying to reconcile the son she knew with these new things she was learning about him. “And you… you’re happy?”

Buck felt a lump rise in his throat. It was such a simple question, but it carried so much baggage. She wasn’t asking if he was happy with Tommy. She was asking if he was happy with himself, something that would’ve been absolutely unthinkable just three years ago.

“I am,” Buck replied, his voice growing more assured. “I’m happy, Mom. I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.”

His mother’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and she nodded slowly, as if coming to a decision within herself. She reached out then, tentatively, her hand hovering in the air for a moment before she placed it on Buck’s arm. “That’s all we want, Buck,” she whispered, her voice wavering a little. “We just want you to be happy.”

His father, who had been silent for most of the exchange, cleared his throat again. “It’s…a lot to adjust to,” he admitted, his voice gruff but not unkind. “But if this is who you are, and if this man makes you happy, then…well, we’ll do our best to understand.”

Buck felt a surge of relief wash over him, so powerful that it nearly knocked him off his feet. It wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot, but it was something. Something good. It was yet another step toward healing their relationship, and for that, he was grateful.

“Thank you,” Buck said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Thank you for not, like, freaking out.”

His father gave a small nod, and his mother’s hand tightened on his arm, a silent reassurance that they were, in fact, trying. Tommy smiled and wrapped his arm around Buck’s shoulders, Buck leaning into his side almost automatically, enjoying the warmth of their connection.

His mother glanced over at Tommy, her expression softening further. “You’re welcome to join us for dinner before we fly back to Hershey, Tommy,” she said, a small, tentative smile tugging at her lips. “We’d like to get to know you better.”

Tommy’s eyes widened at the invitation, and Buck didn’t blame him. It was already unusual that Tommy had met his parents this early, but getting invited to family dinner? That was big. “I’d love to, Mrs. Buckley. Thank you.”

Buck’s father gave a curt nod, not quite ready to add anything further, but his stance had relaxed just a little. There was still a long way to go, a lot of conversations to be had, but in that moment, Buck knew they were moving in the right direction.

As the reception continued to wind down, Buck stood there with Tommy by his side, his parents before him, and for the first time in a long while, he felt a cautious sense of optimism. The journey ahead would be challenging, there was no doubt about that, but they were all still here, still trying, and that was more than Buck could have hoped for when he first approached them.

As they exchanged a few more words, lighter now, less fraught with tension, Buck realized that this was what he had been waiting for all along. Not just acceptance, but the willingness to grow, to move forward together. And maybe that was enough to help the wounds of the past heal.

[marivoid]

Entry 25

Day 200

I think I nearly avoided death by not sticking around this guy.

While I was busy clearing out a gas station today, this guy popped out of nowhere! I swear on it! That gas station was as dead as dust and then he just shows up out of the blue! (Or brown? The sky doesn't exactly look blue really.)

He seemed decently friendly while I spoke to him. Rambling on about how he's completing these "Zedvancements" (I still haven't figured out what qualifies for one of those things) and that he needed help on this next one.

Then came the change in attitude.

"You know you could be a really useful person! It's just a second." It started off casual.

"No thank you."

"Come on man! I haven't seen anyone in what? Five, six days? My Zedvancements are boring without anyone to complete them with!" He got a bit louder around here.

"I am sorry but I really can't! I have to go speak to a man about a horse, you know? Can't dilly dally!"

That eye of his... He didn't seem all too happy when I told him no at that time.

(As I'm writing this down, I feel so stupid! He probably just wanted my head on a spike or something!)

"Who are you trying to meet with?" He had started to walk a circle around me then. Like I was prey (AND I SOMEHOW DIDN'T REALIZE. WAY TO GO PAST ME WHAT THE FUCK! WELCOME EVERYONE TO THE NUMBER ONE DUMBASS OF THE YEAR) "There can't be anyone that important that you can't stay a day or two!"

"Well, actually there is. I'm trying to find the Doctor!" And I had turned. Away. Just turned away and walked to the door like there wasn't a single damn in the world. "My arm here needs work to be done. Keeps glitching out!"

I distinctly remember just how shocked he was when I looked back at him. How that golden-yellow eye was fixed on me. How his weird pupil dilated several times over in just the span of seconds. He was getting angry and I hadn't known it at the time.

"You can't be serious! THE Doctor?? The madman?! Are you insane?"

"I am!" I had to of been stupid to keep talking to him, let alone to just crack open one of the last pop bottles that lingered on the shelves (I'm still fine as of writing this. I'm not hurting or sick because of that drink.) "He's the only one who can fix my arm. It's Watcher Tec and Admins were never trained on how to fix that kind of stuff."

"YOU'RE FROM A G.U.I.D.E?!" I swear to you his scream could have scared off a Night Stalker. "That's genuine Watcher Tec?? You have Old Metal??"

"I wouldn't call it that." I had let him see the complex steam system wiring up my arm to my stub. "It's titanium, not the stuff that the G.U.I.D.E.s were made from. And even then, good luck trying to pry that stuff off the walls. Once it's molded, it's stuck for good!"

I hadn't realized he had been staring at me like I was a fool. No, I was too busy chugging my soda. (Still really good by the way!)

"I know a couple of people that could melt it down." He had said oh so casually. (No I did not do a spit take here, shush.) "One's a few days South from here. The other, West. Find one of those guys and they'll help melt down some G.U.I.D.E. metal."

"I'll see what I can do for you. No promises though. Do you have a number or however these things work?"

Annnnd that's how I suddenly have three new contacts in my wrist thingy. (From here on out I'll just call it a Comm, since it's a Communication Device of a sorts, but not exactly like how those old phones worked back in the day.)

Person one (South) is called "The Demon" in my phone. I don't think that's a very trustworthy name, but it could be worse. The second one, however, is called "Heavy-Body Builder." What's a Heavy-Body Builder? Is it important? Dangerous?

And the third...

"Zedaph"

I'll have to make sure to contact that number as little as possible. Leave it alone unless absolutely necessary. That guy was NOT safe. But at least he showed me how to take photos on this thing. Got a reference for the journal though, so it was kind of worth almost dying.

Just got to find The Doctor.

-MLW

-G.U.I.D.E 67

[remcycl333]

Hi, I really enjoyed reading your indepth post today on how to fulfill ourselves. I really admire you and the “states girlies” a lot because you guys really know your stuff!

I have a bit of a scenario that i’ve been “stuck” in and in my own head about, if you have time i would really appreciate some advice.

So i’ve been “manifesting” my sp for a little over 2 years now using law of assumption, but in reality i’ve only TRULY been manifesting him using states for the last 8 months. I have a really good understanding of states thanks to you and twitter pages, edward art and neville. I promise I don’t focus on time (until recently when i was making plans for my future which i always assumed my sp would be here for) and I never intended that manifesting takes a long time. I’ve experienced many quick manifestations and I know sp is no different but im not sure where im going wrong. I always catch myself when im out of the state and redirect myself back and have been doing this daily for the last 8 months. I do feel fulfilled in my mind with him since I no longer have a “longing” for him nor do I expect him to take any action in the 3D because thats not my true world. I dont even feel bad/sad when “opposite” things seem to happen (such as him unfollowing me out of the blue) and I give stuff like that NO meaning because it GENUINELY doesn’t affect me since I know in imagination im happily married. I know you’ll tell me that im not truly fulfilled if the 3D is making me feel some type of way, but Im not sure how else to explain that I don’t know why not even the tiny bit of movement has happened (I dont want movement, I want my whole desire, just trying to say how in my physical senses there has been nothing experienced).

I keep up with your posts weekly and I know you’ll tell me that if im noticing the absence im not in the state, that im dominantly still in lack, etc but I truly felt like I was fulfilled. I never check the 3D, I never even have “opposing” thoughts (since thoughts are an indicator of my state) so I thought for months that everything is fine. Even now I am prioritizing my state because I know that by writing this, I am being in an unfulfilled state, but im not sure what else to do. After a while it gets a little weird noticing it hasn’t reflected even though im fulfilled within. Am I doing anything wrong? I dont have a strong desire for my sp anymore because I worked a lot on myself and no longer need him, but I do wish to be with him still.

Thank you rem.

hi love! so im not in your brain, so i don't know every little thing you think/do throughout the day, so im gonna give u some examples of things i was accidentally doing whenever i was manifesting an sp that was keeping my 3d from reflecting, even tho i was sure i was 100% fulfilled. maybe you'll realize you're doing something similar and be able to stop it?

i'd prepare myself for what i'd say to my sp when he finally reached out, or i'd daydream about yelling at him when he did bc i knew before we got back together we'd have to talk about our past issues. this was contradicting the fact that i was manifesting already being in a relationship with my sp. why would i be identifying with those thoughts when i was already with my sp?

i like to daydream in order to fulfill myself, but sometimes i'd stop paying attention and accidentally slip into a state of longing without even realizing it. like i'd be daydreaming about something bc i desperately wanted to experience it in my reality, not because i was experiencing it in my 4D, if that makes sense. what i like to do to combat that is while im daydreaming i just like to tell myself that im re-living a memory and that im so happy this thing already happened/is happening. it helps me think from my desire instead of thinking of it!

my friends have shared that one of their mistakes while manifesting an sp was still wanting their sp to be missing them/obsessed with them/constantly thinking about how badly they wanted to be with them, daydreaming about scenarios of them being jealous, etc. this was making them identify with separation, when they really wanted to identify as their sp's partner.

similarly, an issue i had was focusing way too much on how my sp was feeling about me, instead of focusing on how i was feeling about them. when i'd daydream or imagine, i'd imagine them loving ME or confessing their feelings to ME, but then i realized that how i feel matters more than how they feel, because this is my reality! so instead i'd focus on how much i loved them and how amazing i felt being loved by them. that's why, as i mentioned in my most recent post, i changed from affirming "my sp loves me" to "i love my sp."

while manifesting my sp, i knew the first step of us getting back together would be him texting me, so every time i picked up my phone and i saw he hadn't texted me yet id feel sooo discouraged. what helped me with this was telling myself things like "ofc my sp didn't text me, he's literally in the same room as me why would he text me lol?" this would help me feel like we were already together!

i was still PISSED at my sp. idk what your story is with your sp, but mine was an ex, and i was mad at him for breaking up with me still. i had to forgive him because i was constantly holding onto that anger and fantasizing about yelling at him over it. this one might not apply to u depending on your relationship with your sp idk!

similarly, i'd find myself getting mad at my sp for not "conforming" to my affs? even tho he didn't even know i wanted him back? so once again i focused on feeling positively towards my sp and imagining how much i loved him. once i started focusing on the version of my sp that was such a good and loving and attentive boyfriend, he started showing up that way in my reality. remember, there is NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF! focus on changing how YOU feel about your sp instead of how he feels about you!

i know you say that you never feel negatively about your sp or your situation, but as i've mentioned in other posts, sometimes the feeling of knowing feels like nothing. so while you're noticing nothing is happening in your 3D, you can still be accepting the fact that nothing is happening without it giving you any negative emotions.

my advice would be to implement the distraction technique. this is what helped me finally manifest my sp. i had a favorite person attachment to my sp (bc of my bpd) so i was thinking of him ALL day long, and sometimes i wouldn't be paying enough attention to know if i was thinking of him from the state of the wish fulfilled, or from the state of lack. so instead, every time i thought of him at all (negatively or positively) i'd say "it is done" (which instantly shifted me into the state of the wish fulfilled) and then force myself to think of something else. so many of my followers have had success with this technique! this technique isn't necessary at all (you're 100% allowed to think of your sp) but i found it rlly helpful for my adhd brain. it can also be really helpful for you if you can't pinpoint what you're doing wrong!

i really hope this post was helpful to you!! <3 let me know if anything helped!

[sophielovestaylor]

CALLING ALL SWIFTIES!! PLEASE READ THIS 🫶🏼🫶🏼

hey y’all!! this is an extremely big ask but i’ve been trying to get in touch with taylor and her team for ever, to hopefully one day try and meet her and i know it might not be likely but even if it isn’t i hope this message reaches her somehow!! let’s try make it happen swifties!

hi taylor!!! im not sure if this message will ever reach you or not seeing as you propably get loads of messages each day, but i’m gonna try and shoot my shot and see if by literally a miracle you’ll be able to read this message im gonna write to you!!

firstly, i’ve literally thought about writing this letter to you so many times (like SO MANY TIMES) but somehow my words always felt like they weren't enough to express the gratitude, admiration, and deep connection i feel toward you and your music but today i have FINALLY decided to just let my heart speak, and so therefore im writing to you! but no matter how hard i honestly don’t i could ever truly write how much you actually mean to me, how much your music has impacted my life, or how your presence in the world has been literally a light during some of the darkest times l've ever experienced (im so sorry if this letter might seem really creepy or weird i promise im just a normal 15 year old girl who loves her cat!!)

tbh i can't exactly pinpoint the first moment i discovered your music (i think it was around like 2017 and i was like 10) but when i first started consciously listening to you and knew who you where which is around when rep was released i remember how it felt and god was reputation such a good fucking album (rep tv or debut tv when because i am ACHING for those vault tracks ma’am!!!!) when i first listened to folklore when it came out it was like someone had finally put into words all the emotions i was too afraid or unable to express, your lyrics spoke directly to my heart and and it felt like for the first time, someone understood me and to me it was more than just listening to music it was like you were a friend who was there for me when I needed someone most, and your music even though you literally didn't know me at all helped me so much more than you could ever imagine

third off i just want to say thank you for being such an amazing person, you have one of the most genuinest and kindest souls i have ever seen, and beyond the music, i have to tell you that who you are as a person has been an equally important source of inspiration for me, i’ve watched you navigate your career with such strength, and an unwavering sense of self, even in the face of incredibly difficult situations (scooter braun they could never make me like you) and you as a person has shown me and so many others that it's okay to stand up for yourself, to speak your truth, and to own your story, even when the world tries to silence you.

your bravery in standing up for your rights as an artist, your dedication to us swifties, and your ability to remain authentic in an industry that often values image over substance has been nothing short of inspiring, you’ve faced public betrayal and criticism, yet somehow you continue to rise above it all with such resilience and this is something i honestly respect so much and you are honestly so so brave and such a role model for people all over the world (especially me) and watching you navigate those challenges with such literal amazingness gave me the strength to face my own challenges with a little more courage and to be myself no matter what anyone thinks and i will forever appreciate you for teaching me life lessons sometimes that nobody around me could

i have never felt more love and genuine happiness for literally anyone ever, i’m so proud of how far you’ve come in life and that you finally find someone that treats you with all the love and respect that you ma’am deserve (mrs kelce when????)

anyways tay i don’t want to bore you but thank you for being such an inspiring role model in my life, you’re music was always there for me when i needed it and even if you don’t know me i will always and forever be in your corner and will always root for you! when i stayed up watching the vmas i literally SCREAMED when you won!!!

when i first started secondary school, i used to go through a ton amount of bullying and people coming at for over nothing everyday over literally just the way i looked and i used to get added to so many group chats and get mugs of me posted alllll over peoples snapchat stories just because i was a little bit different to everyone, but through all of that who was there for me? FOLKLORE AND EVERMOREEE 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️!! you’re music and a lot of the things you’ve said about mental health and empowering women has helped me find my voice and my confidence and to be myself no matter what and i’ve made every single moment since then to embrace myself as a person and make the most out of my life!

this year i’m about to sit my gcses which i honestly find so freaky! but to end this off, hopefully if you ever see this i’d love to one day be able to meet you and i know you propably get a thousand of messages a day of people asking the same thing, but to me meeting you would literally be a life long dream, i would love nothing more than to actually just sit and talk to you and hang out with you and literally just be two normal people having a conversation, so maybe if you do happen to see this..maybe it’ll work out 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

i love you tay, and i’ll always always be in your corner rooting for you!! <3

- sophie 🫶🏼

here’s my socials for any of y’all that want it!! :)

insta: sophiegrrce

snapchat: sophiegrxce12

twitter: sophsversionx

[backgroundagent3]

hey!! hope you're doing well!!

i know you're reading funny story right now (ahhh) and probably have a long tbr so there's no pressure to read this but i just read the ex vows by jessica joyce and i think you might like it!!!

it reminded me a lot of happy place in that it focused on a found family of friends and how they changed over the years, and it was a second chance romance, and there's a wedding they're prepping for, but it also felt completely like its own new and different thing! i think it's one of the best non-emily henry romances i've ever read and it's the kind of romance that emily henry writes, where it's more emotional and focuses a lot on the character journey.

anyways, since happy place is your favorite emily henry i thought i'd let you know about it!!

Hii! I'm doing good! Thank you so much for the recommendation, I always struggle a lot finding new books to read. I've got a couple of books I'd like to read first, but it sounds so good, I'm so excited!! I just loved the whole vibe of Happy Place, and I love reading about found families, so I'll add it to my tbr.

I'm almost done with Funny Story and on the one hand I can't wait to finish it and tell you about it, but I also never want it to end!

Also I forgot to tell you I finally finished Daisy Jones & The Six!! It's the book that's taken me the longest to read, which is weird cause it's so good! I guess I was really busy but anyways. I loved the format so much, it's so unique, and it also makes it so easy to read! I have a really short attention span, so a book that's basically all dialogue is perfect for me. Some spoilers ahead!

The characters were so funny to me. I went in thinking it was gonna be a found family but then it turns out they all kind of hate each other. They're all so unique and fun to read about. Camila and Karen are so cool, and Warren's the comedic relief, and Pete's just some guy, and Billy's insufferable, and Daisy's also kind of insufferable, but I still loved her. I've seen a lot of people hating on Eddie, and I genuinely don't understand it?? Yes he had a short fuse, but also yes he was justified (at least in my opinion. I hated how Billy kept screwing him over).

I also loved the "where are they now bit", because here I am thinking Pete is dead throughout the whole book, and then it turns out he just had no interest in being part of the interview (which is very cool of him, I too would try to forget about my incredibly dysfunctional found family). The Julia plot twist was so cool, and I couldn't believe Camila was dead all along! I loved her so much. It was so satisfying seeing what their lives look like today, and every ending was very fitting for each character too.

Also loved reading about Karen and Graham, and even though I knew they wouldn't stay together, I was so invested, and I cried my eyes out at their ending. It's so heartbreaking, and you kind of see both POVs, which makes it even sadder.

I think it's just one of these books that leave you staring off into the distance for a while. Just seeing the lives they lead, and knowing that this is how rockstars' lives were actually like feels so special and sad and exciting, and I don't even know where I'm going with this but yeah. 10/10.

Thanks again for the recommendation, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this book! I'll try to finish Funny Story asap (I'm almost done, for real this time). <3

[redactedgender]

— ELLIOTT BA SPOILERS —

this is me liveblogging the entire ba. theres lots of screaming. youve been warned.

18+ only obviously

FIRST OF ALL. called this. i KNEW this fucking audio was coming. literally called it. second of all, this is my first time liveblogging so idk if thisll be good or not ahgjsdfkl

OOO DREAMSCAPE NOISESS. i love how twinkly they are

him teasing themmm :(( i love themb

"we dreamwalkers call it 'the ingress'" love how erik drops dreamwalker lore in this ba thats so funny

elliott is so giggly and sweet sounding :((

"yknow, i can judge you on the fact that you have a dream about shopping at a grocery store... [laughs] no, no i will never let you live that down" STOPPP thats so cute him referencing his first audio with them awwweeee

eriks voice acting has gotten so good. like the stutters and imperfections feel like genuine instead of scripted, like hes actually elliott actually floundering for words a little. its sogood

(are you okay?) "no no, i'm- i'm okay" STOPP literally what did i say before. it sounds so genuine and like real

"y'know how some days you just feel kinda... off?" mood king. but also. is this bc of the memory modification brachium did?

"... i dunno. it's just- it's been kind of a weird day ... i mean, i don't even know what i'm talking about ... like you know when you have a bad dream, and even though you know its a dream ... and it shouldn't have any impact on you, but the rest of the day you feel off" HEY NOW. HEY NOW.

"i mean i'm not a huge people person most of the time, maybe its that, maybe hanging out with aaron and his partner drained my battery a little" honestly if i didnt know what the deal was id be like yeah same

"i know we didnt have any dreamscaping planned tonight but i... i didn't really wanna spend the night alone in my head if thats okay. it- it almost feels like... like i miss you?? or like i had been missing you?" BRACHIUM WHEN I CATCH YOU BRACHIUM. SHUT UPPP OH MY GOD :(( thats actually so fucking sad and sweet. like his body and his brain remembers missing sunshine so fiercely but the memories arent there so he just feels off-kilter and like he misses them for some reason WHAT THE SHIT :((

"you havent had a work trip for a while, we spent all night together. you're literally laying next to me in bed in the waking world, like, you're right there! like i could wake up and poke you right now" he is so goofy and silly but not in a guy way and i really appreciate that

"[im a little tired] and maybe a little sappy. i guess i just hadnt gotten my fill of you today" HEHEHEHE...

THEYRE KISSINGGGGGG

"i just wanna be with you rn, and i dont know why ... no, no thats not what i meant!" I LOVE HOW SUNSHINE RIBS ON HIM :(( like they really are just besties who fell in love

i love the way elliott kisses sunshine. if that makes any sense dhjgfshd

"i love being with you [kiss] in dreams, in reality, anywhere. if its you, im happy." when is it my turn god.

"im just the boy next door... the boy next door with a brain that can handle managing the near infinite minutia of an entire dreamscape, flawlessly under pressure, at a labyrinth black certified level. yknow, simple stuff like that" WOW YOUR HONOR IM IN LOVE WITH HIM

"i mean it really is simple when it comes to you. you're there? im happy. you're not? im not. and right now i could use some happy" theyre the cutest couple god im ill abt them

"the dreamhouse- pardon the pun" IM SO EMOTIONAL OVER THAT WAIT :(( HE CALLS THE HOUSE HE MADE FOR HIM AND SUNSHINE THE DREAMHOUSE

"ba-dum-bum!" im making out with him rn

"yeah, well, if you didn't like a dork, you wouldn't have stuck around. cuz i am one, through and through. and you knew that; you've known that as long as you've known me" and when i throw myself into the sea then what. then what

"starting us in the bedroom is a perfectly logical start to the dream" its also a good starting point for me to rail you-

GOD THE WAY ERIK DOES MAKING OUT... like the softer kisses to start, how they slowly start getting deeper as they get more into the kiss..... incredible

THE WAY HE MAKES SURE SUNSHINE ISNT FORCING THEMSELF TO FUCK CUZ HE PUT THEM IN THE BEDROOM :((

i just realized we're gonna get updated elliott Noises. ogh. im so excited

sunshine really does love taking care of him :((

WAIT ARE THEY BLOWING HIM??? THIS IS THE LASKO BA ALL OVER AGAIN. ERIK GIVE US LIKE. SOMETHING TO KNOW WHEN THE LISTENER IS GOING DOWN ON THE SPEAKER DHFJGAFHGS

god his NOISES. hes so vocal n i love it

I LOVE WHEN THE SPEAKERS CALL THE LISTENERS BABY AS A SECOND PET NAME ITS SO CUTE. also. elliott just has the cutest noises wowow

"can i hold your head?" THATS HOW YOU DO IT FOLKS. also babygirl you can pull my hair any day of the week

I LOVE HOW BREATHY HE IS??? also some of his noises are deeper than i wouldve expected from him but i love it so much :flushed:

HE WAS STANDING THAT WHOLE TIME??? GODDAMN SUNSHINE

WHOA WHOA WHOA WHAT WAS THAT NOISE HELLO???? THE STUTTERING RASPY MOAN????? WHAT THE FUCK????? THAT WAS THE HOTTEST NOISE EVER WHAT THE SHIT

i just KNOW hes holding sunshine by the head not to control the pace but to steady himself and to have something to hold onto while they suck his dick like a pro

WE LOVE A MAN WHO KISSES THEIR PARTNER AFTER ORAL SEX

"oh god the things you do" SIR IM ON THE FLOOR RN WHAT WAS THAT FUCKING VOICE???????

"is it too bright?" mans has the sun reacting to his emotions thats so cool and also hot

"im looking at you... you look so incredible with the horizon behind you" im going to propose if you keep talking to me like that

"i got the idea from that trip we took up to the lake" ERIK GIVE US SOME FLASHBACKS TO THEIR CAMPING TRIPS PLEASE i would love one where theyre not dating yet but theyre obviously dancing around it god thatd be so good

"all these oranges and reds and purples... eyes shining in the waning light" hes so romantic

"hey... i have an idea" oh?

"howd you like to see that sunset up close?" ARE WE GONNA FUCK IN THE SKY??

"do you trust me?" YES YES YES

THE WAY HE IMMEDIATELY GRABS ONTO SUNSHINE TO REASSURE THEM AND SAYS THAT HES GOT THEM :((

ARE THEY IN A CLOUD???? WHAT THE FUCK???

"you deserve it... everything beautiful and wonderful, you deserve it." god hes so good at making sunshine believe they have worth in this life :((

i love how you can tell when erik is kissing someones lips vs when hes kissing their skin. the noises are so subtle yet distinct and its so good at helping you realize where things are happening. but also... sunshine where are your clothes sjdfhkg

"d'you-do you like it?" HIS LITTLE HESITATION LIKE HES WORRIED SUNSHINE DOESNT LIKE THE DREAM STOPPP :(( hes so fucking cute i cant stand it

"lay back... let the clouds hold you" ok real talk i have a bad phobia of heights (specifically the edge of things) but i would brave my phobia if it meant a hot dreamwalker was going to fuck me in the clouds

"sunset skin... my sunshine" I AM ON THE FLOOR AGAIN THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC THING :(( i love when he says "my sunshine" CUZ THEY ARE HIS SUNSHINE IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!!!!!!

"can i?" YOU FUCKING BETTER GO DOWN ON ME DUDE

HIS FUCKING GIGGLES?? "okay... then spread 'em a little bit" HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT AND TEASING ALMOST WOWOWOW

erik knows how to make gender neutral oral sex work very well. im genuinely impressed

"so good..." sorry but if someone said that after going down on me i would marry them on the spot

"can i?" YOU BETTER FUCK SUNSHINE RN IM GOING CRAZY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR LIKE FOUR FUCKIN YEARS

GOD HIS NOISES?????????? THEYRE SO LIKE. ROUGH. N ALMOST FERAL. AND SO APPRECIATIVE????

"just a sec... god it feels so good... just to be inside- all the way... together" WOOOOOOOW WOW WOW WOW IM SO LONELY HOLY SHIT HJGSDAHJ

"yeah i just wanna feel it for a sec... all of it... all of you" hes so lustdrunk rn its craaaaaazy woooooow. i mean considering this is the first time theyve fucked in days after the events of the balance (not that they remember it) im sure it would feel overwhelming

"lemme see your neck" god n the way he marks them up...... plus its a callback!! we love a callback!! technically its a callback to two diff things, his first ba and his "dreamwalker bf helps you in your dreams" when theyre on the beach!

"oh yeah.... moan for me" HIS VOICE. HJDFGKFGHKDJ!!!!!!!! ./////. "yeah? its just us, and the sky; let it all out." him encouraging them to be loud?????? what the fuck????????

pleasuredrunk elliott is something i knew i needed but didnt know i needed this badly holy shit

"you look so incredible.... no, no, not just the sunset. the sunset's just casting a light on whats already there" WHOAAAAAAA. THATS SO???? ROMANTIC?????? HOLY SHIT???????

"all the imperfections are what make you perfect. make you real... warm, and real, and here... with me" WOW THATS. YEAH. OW. THAT HURTS A LITTLE

I LOVE WHEN HE CALLS THEM MY SUNSHINE HEHEHEHE

god his NOISESSSSS i cant get over them. he sounds so obsessed with sunshine its crazy.

"no- no let me, let me... i wanna be the one to make you come" AAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

i love when the speakers jerk off/touch the listener to help get them close. like its so intimate and hot.

n the noises of him touching them,,,

"yeah, yeah, get loud," SIR??? SIR???????

"feeling me while im..... in you..." the way his voice like dissolves into pleasure is craaaaazy. erik what are you fucking to make those noises??

"throw your head back... let the clouds hold you while i fill you up-" WHOAAAA WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JGHDFKFGDHJKSDGKFHJDKGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"youre tightening down...... now?... yesss, yes sunshine, come for me, come-" OH MY FUCKING GOD??????????????

HIS NOISES????????? FUCK ME????????????

AND THE WAY IT SOUNDS LIKE HES PANTING INTO THEIR NECK/CLOSE TO THEIR SKIN,,,,,, GOD. GODDDDDDD.

AND THEN HE BRINGS THEM BACK TO THE BED. HIS FUCKING SHUSHING AND THE "no its okay, i got you" GODDDD

their aftercare kissing n cuddling. wow :((

"i love you so much, baby... you make me feel so good... you feel so... right. its just easy with you. its real with you, even here, where none of it is.. real. its us. and that makes it- real ... in my arms.. its real." THATS SO FUCKING SWEET WHAT THE FUCK

"i never wanna have to miss you again" SHUT THE FUCK UP ERIK IM GONNA FUCKIGN CRY

"we're forever" THEY ARE THEYRE SO FOREVER LIKE THEYRE GONNA GET MARRIED AND BUILD THAT DREAM HOUSE AND GROW OLD TOGETHER PLEASE ERIK :(((((((

"i love you sunshine" mirroring the end of his first ba I WILL CRY

and the really soft kisses as the audio fades out :((

WOW that was. wow. i mean. what else can i say dude????? that was so fucking good. best ba we've had in easily awhile. holy fuck dude

[creedslove]

This is going to be really stupid but I felt really weird about the new photos of Pedro and Dakota at the Stevie Nicks concert.

A part of me is like 😭✨😭❤️❤️ because he's gorgeous but I had to go for a walk for a while and get off social media because I was feeling bad and I don't have to.

I think it is also important to step away and know how to set limits on the hours in which one uses networks.

I am aware that this is ridiculous but the fact that this has bothered me in some way or made me feel bad has more to do with me and that I should set limits with the content I consume.

I belong to a great fandom, Pedro's, and I would be very happy for him if he is happy, but I wouldn't want to ruin how nice it is to be in the fandom through harmful and toxic behavior.

I wanted to vent.

Pedro genuinely looks happy and handsome and he seems to be having a great time, he deserves it a lot.

❤️❤️❤️

Hey baby, first of all, it's very sweet of you to chose me to vent, it makes me feel glad to know you feel safe enough to vent about that and I promise you you won't be judged at all ❤️

It's not stupid though, it's relevant for you and it's your feelings, your feelings are involuntary, you cannot choose to feel a certain way or another, so it's okay baby...

I guess everyone felt a lil jealous of Pedro today, even if we all know they are good friends, they did look like a couple in some pictures, but that's alright, he is very affectionate and I guess physical touch is his love language, she isn't the first one he touches like that and it won't be the last one, and you are right about how happy he was, it's incredible to see him having so much and clearly enjoying the concert around his friends, it was very sweet.

I guess what we all felt jealous of was the fact we wanted to be in that situation, to hang out with him, have him all dorky, sweet and excited ❤️ however, feeling that intensity of jealousy the way you did, in which it made you feel bad and you had to step away from social media for a while isn't normal, but I'm glad to see you are aware of that as well, I am no expert, but I guess it reflects some type of emotional void in which you try to fill it with Pedro? It's good to look up into that honey, so you can see what can be done about it and prevent yourself from getting hurt like that... But at the same time, as I said, feelings are involuntary, and you can't help feeling that way...

I really hope you'll feel better about all this and that it won't happen again, I know how painful it is to be jealous (I was a very jealous person when I was a teenager) and I used to feel jealous of everyone, famous people, my friends, family members etc, and it's a horrible feeling, because I very often put people in an uncomfortable situation (my friends) and I suffered so much, so I get it, on a level I get what you felt baby 💘

I'm always here for you if you want to vent or talk about it, I can't promise to answer your ask that fast because I haven't spent a long time here lately, but whenever I can, I will reply! I love you, you are not alone honey! ❤️❤️❤️ You're always welcome to stop by, okay? Love you 😘

[longlostlorian]

Recently re-stumbled across the Otherknown after losing my bookmark for it many many laptops ago (when the story was literally just beginning). Picked it back up thinking I'd read a few pages out of curiosity, bookmark it n come back later but your storytelling/art grabbed my attention so completely I was straight up compelled to read straight through to the most recent update.

As an artist myself (granted someone who's never committed to a project quite that long) I imagine it might be weird? Bit of a gut punch but relieving that someone enjoyed it? That it was worth it for someone? Maybe some other variation of unquantifiable—to have someone say they binged art you poured years and more into, in a matter of days—but genuinely just wanted to express how damn impressed I am. Over a period of years and multiple hiatuses you maintained such solid characterization, pacing—everything feels like it's been planned from day 1.

I'm sold, invested, and so curious to see what happens to Chandra, Demeck—how the faked death(s?) shake out, sweet Muriel...but at the same time, if whatever fuels you is drawing you elsewhere don't wanna be another voice making you feel anchored/guilting for following that. Guess I just wanted to say really appreciate you putting your work out there, The Otherknown is genuinely one of the best webcomics out there today, and wish you the best regardless. Will be checking out your other works next!

This is such a kind message, thank you so much, it really means a lot to hear, especially right now. At the heart of it Otherknown was and very much still is a pure passion project that I maintain solely because I want to see how it eventually ends, but I still find myself sometimes falling into the common trap of measuring it by [arbitrary metrics of success] and realizing where it falls short. I've definitely learned a lot by way of making it, which means its faults are now very apparent to me, but I also genuinely love it on its own merits even though it represents my storytelling sensibilities of nearly 10 years ago, which have changed a lot since then. All this to say, I'm very, very happy to hear it's made an impression on you (and that you find the characters to be consistent)! I couldn't ask for higher praise.

I have most of chapter six roughed out (still wild to know that after 400 pages we are still on chapter six), with a few inked and needing colors, and I very much want to continue when I can. I hope you'll be along for the ride!! At the very least we will see what happens to Chandra and Dems, for better or worse. Good luck on your creative endeavors ♥️

[h0mocorrectus]

This post is about my wonderful wife and the ways she helps me experience queer joy despite all the shit going on in our country

- she excitedly squeezes my hand when we walk past a gnc person or a pair of girls holding hands

- she makes sure to alternate between 'he' and 'they' and 'spouse' and 'husband' when referring to me instead of just choosing one because I said I liked that better (my wife is cis and the best fucking ally I know)

- she gets so genuinely excited about my transition! She tells me she loves my voice, my body hair and my weird ass mustache

- when I got my documents legally changed she was so happy for me she congratulated me 3 times. We weren't even together back then, this was just pure joy for a fellow queer

- she makes tons of gay jokes and trans puns

- she always makes sure to use inclusive language like "people with vulvas" when discussing anatomy

- she squeals and gets excited as fuck when she sees good queer rep

- she gushes over my ships with me

- she encourages me when I want to wear dresses or put on makeup because she loves gender fuckery in all its forms

- speaking of gender fuckery, she calls me her pretty princess because I wanted to be a princess when I was little and I like the vibes even though it's technically a feminine term (she made sure I was okay with it like a thousand times before doing that)

- she paints my nails black and pink when I wanna feel pretty

- she got me a pronoun pin :)

- she calls my chest "noobies" or "hoobies" (because nonbinary boobies and husband boobies) and that's hilarious, adorable and generally tickety-boo as fuck

- she corrects random people on the street that misgender me even though she has social anxiety and doesn't like speaking to strangers

- she is a short queen with pink hair and an undercut who is like twice as strong as I am, 90% of her wardrobe is black (the other 10 is flannels) and she loves stealing my black lipstick. She's comfortable with her gender, doesn't give a flying fuck about how she's supposed to present and always looks gorgeous, whether she's being more masc or femme today

- she checks in with me every time she wants to not tell someone I'm trans for safety reasons or just to not get an earful (I have trauma from a previous relationship where my partner had a lot of internalized queerphobia and tried to shove me back in the closet)

- she has A LOT of trans headcanons for like every type of media we consume

- *checks out uneven facial hair* YOU GO KING, GROW MORE FLUFFY

- she is incredibly accepting of every part of the queer community, regardless of whether she is a part of it or gets it. We're both very monogamous, but she excitedly shows me polyamorous fanart and memes

- she gets really passionate about feminism and queer rights, I could listen to her rant for hours

- she writes beautiful fanfiction about nonbinary beings in love

- "hun, what's gender-neutral for babygirl??"

- she reassures me when things seem bleak and I feel like people like us don't get to grow old. She tells me we'll come through this together and I believe her

- she makes me so happy and I fall in love with her more and more every goddamn day

P. S. She's sleeping next to me right now and the sound of her breathing feels like home. Maybe it will be okay.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Hi hello, so nice to talk to you, Kiko!

This is going to definitely sound weird, but do you have any advice for an ongoing Ao3 writer? Pretty sure I'm not the only one here writing Gojo/OC stories or fluffy one-shots since they're so addicting lol.

But it's strange to be so obsessed with writing with so many ideas and time and energy to write, and then it feels like you're in a bit of a slump when that rush of creativity sort of slows.

You mentioned before that you had most of the story for AL mapped out and written, did it help you to plan ahead more before posting? Or was it more of a, "I didn't worry about it too much because it was fun to write and we're all Gojo simpls" kind of a deal?

Anyhow, would love to know if you'd be alright talking about it. Have a good day~

Hiiiii! It's nice to talk to you, too! 😊

Gojo fluff is addictive and I honestly have been rereading Physical Paradox installments today because I need fluff and motivation 😂

Hmmmm, advice for AO3 writers? Honestly, I feel like I'm a bit under qualified for that because I'd been an anon reader for over ten years until July when I finally created an account so I could post Another Level 😂😂

BUT, I do have a few thoughts. I'll try to keep these as simple as my over-explaining ass can 🫠 (Kiko did not keep it simple. I ranted and this post is hella long, I am so sorry.)

If you haven't already, you can read Another Level on AO3 💕

On writing in general: Write for you.

1) I know I've said this before, but it's true. Write as if no one else will ever see what you're writing to begin with. That's how I started with Another Level. I never intended for anyone else to see it when I first started. On the flip side of this though, don't be afraid of bouncing ideas off others.

It's likely vain of me, but I genuinely enjoy reading my own writing. I try very hard to make sure that what I'm posting is something I enjoy reading. But it makes it so much easier to write if you enjoy reading it, because you're just as excited to read it and see what happens as someone who isn't in your head.

2) I think that something really important for when that creativity slows in one area, don't force yourself to keep going if you don't have to. Hobbies are supposed to be fun, not an obligation or a stressor.

Once the joy fades from a hobby, it's no longer a hobby.

Think of it this way: since May of this year, I've written around 300k words for different fanfics. If we look at that from the perspective of a single-spaced, 12pt font perspective, that is 300 pages. I've written the equivalent of a gosh dang Dissertation. But here's the difference between Another Level and a Dissertation: writing and researching for Another Level was fun. It was something I wanted to do.

(We'll ignore the fact that I didn't have to teach classes and grade papers simultaneously as well. I do and don't miss grad school And honestly, I miss teaching. But academia can kiss my ass.)

3) Write what you want to write, not what others expect you to write. This isn't your job. You aren't being paid for a word count or hours put in, you're doing this for you and for fun. When you let other's expectations drive you instead of your own desire, that happiness is fleeting and it's easy to burnout fast.

4) Follow your inspiration fairies, even if only briefly. You don't have to write out an entire universe, and you don't have to keep what you write. But sometimes you have to get rid of the brainworms to make room for other ideas. I've realized that a few of my Goinko 'au' ideas are literally better just as little headcannons or blurbs and nothing more. And that's okay, because now I got them out of my system.

5) If you want to write and finish a series, only post for that series. I'm learning this the hard way right now with Gokduō and Physical Paradox. It is really hard to focus on one or the other because I feel an odd pressure to get the next parts done for both, which is completely the opposite of what it should be.

The pressure drains my creativity, and I've found myself struggling because I'm too worried about what people will think of it instead of what I want it to be. In all honesty, I had a moment today where I almost decided I don't want to finish Gokudō because I'm not sure where to take it, but I realized I just need some time away from trying to force myself.

6) If you're unhappy with it, don't be afraid to scrap it. Use it as a starting point if you want, but don't get too attached to it if you don't like where it's going. Take a step back and ask if/how it's getting you where you want to go with that work, and if it doesn't help you get there, then it can go.

What was my approach with Another Level? (includes JJK Manga spoilers)

I'll elaborate a bit more on how I had things mapped out before I started posting first. Essentially, when the Gojo/Sukuna fight started in the manga, I just knew Gojo was going to die. In my mind, there was no way Akutami would let him live, and I was in a really bad place mentally and wasn't sure how I'd be able to handle it. And then I was like "wait, that's literally why we have fanfic, I can keep him alive as long as I want."

So, I started Another Level with the intention to keep it to myself and use it as my own comfort fic to prepare myself for Gojo's death. Some behind the scenes info: a version of the dream Rinko had in Split Bluff was the very first thing I wrote for Another Level. Except it originally wasn't a dream, it was going to be their reunion. However, they weren't as close, they were solidly friends with benefits who barely knew each other. Then, I wrote a part where Rinko first meets Yuuji at the Goodwill Event and she was Maki's legal guardian and still a teacher at Kyoto Tech, then I went further back and wrote her asking Gojo to get Maki enrolled at Tokyo Tech, and then I went further back and wrote Make a God Bleed.

As you already know because you've read Another Level, none of those stayed the same because then, as I kept writing, Rinko took on a life of her own. She became so much more than just a random OC that I threw together without thinking. And I have to say that I'm so glad she did because I'm not sure I would have been able to deal with 236 without Rinko. Some people have said Rinko helped them, but she's helped me so much as well. I mean it when I say she's cemented herself as my favorite original character that I've ever written because she has so much depth and heart that I accidentally poured into her. Not to mention that she's helped me meet some really amazing people along the way.

I'm in a bit of a rut now because I was on a marathon of writing for about five or six months. I started writing Another Level in May, and while I wrote the first draft for All That I Am Is Yours probably in June or July, I pretty much completely rewrote it once we actually got there. Between May and now, I've written upwards of 300k words of JJK fanfic, not including the installments or drafts I scrapped completely 🙃

Posting schedule with Another Level:

As someone who is severely ADHD, my hyperfocus was strong with Another Level. I was obsessed. And I was even more obsessed when I realized people were enjoying reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

In all honesty, part of what kept me on a strict uploading schedule with Another Level was a desire for the validation and praise in the comments. While I had a lot written, I uploaded so quickly because I wanted to get that lil rush from seeing the comments.

Kiko is about to do a lil bit of oversharing for ya: I'd just left a job where I'd spent the last six months there with my formerly wonderful boss decided to blame me for every little thing that went wrong, and then she couldn't understand why my performance actually started to drop. I hadn't heard a damn word of positive feedback for anything I did in so long that the comments on Another Level helped pull me out of a very depressive state.

But, it quickly became unhealthy because I started to rely on them to the point where it was all I cared about. All I cared about was seeing comments on the newest Another Level installment, and when there wasn't feedback, I got all in my head about what I'd done wrong and wanted to post the next installment as quickly as possible because maybe that one would do better.

Now, this is not me saying that wanting comments is a bad thing. Feedback is very important, and it's hard to know if people are enjoying something when there's not anything to go on. But it does become a problem if it's the only reason you're writing. I've been very fortunate in that I haven't gotten comments or messages demanding updates because I've seen that others do receive those sometimes. I like to think it's because you guys are just awesome and wonderful people.

I've gotten a bit better about being obsessed with comments because I have this nice lil corner of wonderful people and I feel like I've made a few genuine friends here. (Hi Rai, if you're reading this, I hope you're doing well.)

I know that what I just described for my Another Level posting schedule contradicts what I said in the beginning, but I will say that while my posting schedule was heavily driven by that need for praise, my writing schedule was not. I was writing so much because I was enjoying myself. I was having more fun writing than I had in years. I still am, but I do have to keep reminding myself some of the points I made above otherwise I find myself falling into a rut.

THIS WAS PROBABLY WAY MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR AND I AM SO SORRY 🫠

BUT I HOPE IT MADE SENSE AND THAT IT WASN'T JUST COMPLETELY FUCKING USELESS 😭😭🙃

[pathologicallypedantic]

Doing some more autism homework today.

Reflecting on the Need to Mask: What Does Your Mask Protect You From?

1. Try to recall a time early in life when you felt intense embarrassment or shame. Describe that situation here.

I’m sure there are many such moments. I don’t really remember much detail though. I remember feeling very socially awkward and excluded in grade school. I hated it. The lessons bored me. The other kids didn’t like me. In jr high I got to transfer from the private religious school to public school. I was happier there I guess. It was a chance to start over. No one really knew me. I suppose that’s when I started working on masking. I remember going to someone’s 8th grade graduation party. I was having fun. Until another kid thought it would be funny to run up to me and kick me hard right in the balls. Everyone else thought it was really funny. Obviously in the moment I was angry and in pain. I wanted to just leave. I probably should have. I stayed. If I left it would have been admitting that these people weren’t really my friends.

2. When you recall this experience, what emotions do you feel?

I feel sadness for myself. I let other people mistreat me because I wanted so desperately to belong. I feel anger and confusion as to why he did that.

3. Complete the sentence by checking off as many adjectives as you like: "In that moment, everyone could see that I was _________”

- [ ] Selfish

- [x] Awkward

- [ ] Childish

- [ ] Self-absorbed

- [ ] Cold

- [x] Stupid

- [x] Weak

- [ ] Robotic

- [ ] Immature

- [ ] Disgusting

- [x] Embarrassing

- [ ] Clueless

- [ ] Cruel

- [x] Pathetic

4. Of the words listed above, which one is the most painful to hear associated with you?

I think pathetic feels the worst. I’ve always wanted to be understood and accepted and have genuine connections with people more than anything. The idea that someone would feel sorry for me for how others treat me feels so icky. I don’t want sympathy. I don’t want to suffer cruelty so that you can feel better about yourself for being my friend.

5. List some actions or habits that you associate with that word.

Rejecting others out of fear they are motivated not by actually caring for me but because they feel sorry for me. Always feeling like my friends aren’t actually my friends; like metaphorically they could turn around and kick me in the balls at any time and everyone else would laugh.

6. Complete this sentence: I pretend to be _______ so people will tolerate me, but deep down I know that I'm not.

- [ ] Independent

- [x] Cool

- [ ] Generous

- [ ] Mature

- [ ] Warm

- [ ] Impressive

- [ ] Helpful

- [x] Happy

- [x] Confident

- [ ] Caring

- [ ] Organized

- [ ] Smart

- [ ] Powerful

- [ ] Worthy

7. Complete the sentence: "If I want people to like me, I can't let them find out that I _________”

Am overly obsessed with “weird” interests

Am hurt by their teasing or ribbing even when it’s not so “good natured.” How do allistic people tell where the line should be? I have no fucking idea and this is especially hard with boys because they are so emotionally fucked up this is how they have to bond apparently.

[disabled-dragoon]

Zombies on Screen: My Top 10

We're back at it again with my zombie obsession and today I will be treating subjecting you all to a ranking of my top ten favourite zombie movies and/or shows. Because yes, this is still an ongoing thing for me and it doesn't look like it's stopping any time soon.

If you want to see less of my zombie ramblings, feel free to block the "curio reviews" tag.

And now, on to the list!

🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟🧟‍♂️ [22 Zombie Emojis]

10.) Kingdom: Ashin of the North

While I don't like this special as much as I do its parent series, I still enjoy it, and I started a list of "animals in zombie dramas" because of it. Considering the way Ashin was introduced at the end of Kingdom and the unlikelihood of a season 3, I am so glad we at least got to see some of her story in this movie. This is not an easy watch. Kingdom has its comedic moments, of course, but Ashin of the North is an undeniably darker, sometimes uncomfortable, addition to the series. And yet, it suits the character and the tone introduced at the end of season 2 almost perfectly. If we never get a season 3, at least we have Ashin.

9.) Warm Bodies

It's been a while since I watched this film but I remember enjoying it, if not being slightly confused at some points. The whole "zombie eats mans brain and then falls for man's girlfriend because he can see their memories together" is Weird, if not somewhat creepy, but I suppose that's the "zombie" part of the zombie rom-com. Or zom-com, if you will. I do like the ending. Yeah yeah "the power of love and friendship cures everything" is an interesting trope choice for a zombie film, but I absolutely loved it.

8.) Zombie Detective

I looked up "zombie shows" and this one kept getting suggested so I thought I would give it a try. I knew that it was a comedy and still didn't expect the mild Looney Tunes-esque sound effects. Sometimes during a dramatic throwing sequence there'll just be the sound of a slide whistle as the object makes impact with its target, and at first I thought it was annoying but it genuinely grew on me. It took me a couple of episodes to get into it (bearing in mind it's a 12 episode series), but eventually, I enjoyed it and even found some of the humour to be funny. The plot drags a bit- they start telling one story, it becomes another, and then they manage to get back on track to the original story in the final 4 episodes- but it does all tie together so I'll give it a pass. The tongue-in-cheek references to other zombie shows and films (Train to Busan, anyone?) are great (and yes I also agree that Ma Deong-seok is the greatest threat to a zombie's existence /j). Though I doubt it will ever happen, if a second season ever comes out I will be watching it.

7.) Happiness

My issues with this series are similar to my issues with Zombie Detective. It drags a bit, and then parts of the final episodes feel so rushed? I don't know. The death fakeouts in the end also started to get a bit annoying, and we get some resolution as to the fate of the main leads and antagonists in the end, but I would have liked even a brief montage of what happens to the rest of the supporting cast as well. You spend 12 episodes getting to love or hate them, and then just...nothing. Yeah yeah it's implied earlier in the episode, but I would have liked more visual confirmation, you know? Even so! For all the faults I have with it this was a great series. And some of the music in this is so good??? I still stand by that, as much as you'll grow to hate her character, Bae Hae Son is an absolutely fantastic actress.

6.) 28 Days Later

The first 12 minutes of this film is almost entirely music that steadily increases in volume and pace, and it is just so great. I was on the edge of my seat. Could have done without the shot of Cillian Murphy in the buff to introduce his character but eh. I get the hype for this film, I think it's warranted. I was worried that, with the difficulty I had in finding a version to watch, I wouldn't enjoy it, but thankfully I did.

5.) 28 Weeks Later

Honestly I think this one is slightly better than the first one. Maybe I'm just biased because Robert Carlyle is one of my favourite actors (that man plays the role of the cowardly father to accidental villain extremely well), but I really like the way the ending set up the third film. Which is not to say that I'm not wary of how they will go about the third film, especially now that they're actually filming it, but I do look forward to seeing how the third will hold up given how strong the first two are.

4.) #Alive

Specifically the 2020 South Korean film, not the 2020 American film of the same name and based on the same script. I think what I like about this film is the vagueness. There's no attempt to explain why the apocalypse is happening, and there's no attempt by the leads to cure it. It just exists and they are forced to try and survive it with little more than what they already have. It is phenomenal, and I really, really liked the whole "zombies retain some basic skills from their being human", like being able to climb a rope or use a door handle. It's so creepy. Would I have liked a bit more development on that front? Sure. Does the film work without out? Absolutely.

3.) Shaun of the Dead

I don't know why I enjoy this film so much, I just do. Call it a soft spot for homegrown comedy if you must, but I did actually find myself liking this film far more than I thought I would. It's 20 years old this year (release-wise) and to mark that it was/is being re-shown in some cinemas. 20 years on and some of the jokes don't necessarily hold up, but dammit it's a good film and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I recently saw a comic strip that was released to coincide with the original release of the film, and it adds a new perspective to it all. Yeah the film is funny, but the strip focuses on the character of Mary, the female zombie that Shaun and Ed first encounter in their garden, and shows how, in her last moments alive, she reached out to them for help but they didn't realise and brushed her off. It is incredibly sad and adds another layer to the film that makes it worth its status as a cult classic.

2.) Kingdom

Ah, I love this show so much. I have rewatched it so many times, and it's still just as good. Honestly, I think one of the greatest things about this show is the rewatch value. Once you've seen it, when you go back and watch it again you see that they actually reveal the cause of the zombie outbreak in the first few episodes, but you probably won't notice it, or even understand it, on your first runthrough. I love it. I highly doubt we will ever get an official season 3, which is a shame, but Ashin of the North is a great follow-up regardless, and I'm glad they at least allowed one of the most promisingly interesting characters in the series to get some screen time and development.

1.) Zom100: Bucket List of the Dead

You can pry this film from my cold dead hands. I genuinely enjoy it. I watched it last Halloween for the first time and did not regret it. That shark scene is one of the wackiest, most god-awful pieces of CGI I've ever seen. It's terrible. I love every second of it. It's so out of pocket, and, considering the tone of the previous movies I'd watched before this one, an absolutely perfect way to round off my evening. I love everything about this film to the point that I even sat down and watched the anime three days after finishing it. Genuinely enjoyable 10/10 would watch again.

[dootiexcupcake]

Final Round

First part

Second part

Pairing: Seungcheol x reader

Warnings: angst , toxic friendships , no happy ending

Tags: angst, Jeonghan comes back :D

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: this was a request for @enhacolor ! Also the final installment for this angst series :((. i dont wanna exhaust it and end up hating it so im capping it off here.

.·:¨ ✘♚✘ ¨:·.·:¨ ✘♚✘ ¨:·.·:¨ ✘♚✘ ¨:·.·:¨ ✘♚✘ ¨:·.

Two weeks. It took two weeks for you and Seungcheol to get to where you guys are right now.

Last week when you called him he finally decided to pick up and the conversation was…strained to say the least. But you kept your hopes up and had Jeonghans reassuring words playing in your head to stop you from crying on the phone with Seungcheol as he gave you curt answers to your questions.

That didn’t stop you from sobbing as soon as you hung up though.

But today is a new day, right? After your phone call with him you guys agreed to meet up at your place to talk things over officially. So that’s a good start.

You’re pacing back and forth in your living room when you hear a knock at the door.

You open the door and give Cheol a warm smile and he returns it with a tight smile. You both wordlessly make your way over to the living room and sit next to each other on the couch, giving the other ample amount of space to not cause any discomfort that could lead to another dispute.

“So,” you start “how are things?” This all feels so strange. You guys have known each other long enough to not have these sort of awkward conversations anymore. 

Why am I making it so weird?

“Everything is fine.” He affirmed. It was the first word he’s spoken to you since he walked in. First time in weeks since you’ve heard his voice in person. 

God…you really missed him.

“But..we should definitely talk about what happened.” His posture straightens as he starts to get more serious, finally looking at you instead of the carpet.

“Yeah. Do you wanna start?”

“No, I wanna hear you first. I didn’t hear you out last time so….I’m gonna do that now.” His tone was uncharacteristically soft, like he was trying his hardest not to upset you. It confused you but you dismissed it as him just trying to be nice.

“Oh uh well..I-I’m just hurt by what you said, you know? I mean, I understand that you have been dealing with a lot at work too! I didn’t mean to stress you out even more.” Hearing the tone of your own voice come off so small makes you squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head, mentally kicking yourself for being so unsure of everything single thing you say and do. You hate to say it but, it sounds so… childish. 

‘I definitely could have worded that to sound less…pitiful.’

“No you’re right.” Seungcheol replies, he rest a hand on your shoulder to dissipate the stress building up within you. A gesture you are familiar with from him, but today it feels so very different. So foreign.

“I’m sorry for how I reacted. It was uncalled for and rude. You’re my friend and I shouldn’t ever treat you like that.” He graciously apologizes. You’re taken aback by his words, it’s not like he’s never apologized before. But the way he worded it so unnatural, his flat tone of voice, the way he was looking in your direction but never directly at you. It felt strange.

The atmosphere in the room is indescribable. You desperately want to assume Seungcheol is just acting weird because of how things went last time. It was a tense argument. One that neither of you have had with each other before. Obviously the aftershocks of it would put anyone on edge for a while.

However the other part of you feels some dishonesty emanating off of him. Why Seungcheol would supposedly lie about his apology doesn’t make sense to you. But that doesn’t ease the nagging voice in the back of your head insisting that is the truth.

“I wanna apologize to you too. When I called you cold and..distant. it really wasn’t ok for me to just come after you like that.” You look at him, you’re genuinely apologetic and you hope he can see it on you face. Seungcheol looks away from you momentarily, you see his face tense but it happens so quickly you can’t pin point exactly what emotion he expressed. He looks back at you and shrugs his shoulders and lazily shakes his head.

“I forgive you. I would have said the same thing if I was in your place.” He says, another tight smile brandishing his face.

You know Seungcheol well enough to see right through that blatant lie. This man is bold and he will always tell it like it is. You were holding back when you said that to him.  He, respectfully, would not have. Instead, he would have straight up asked why you were avoiding him.

“Look, this whole situation was really messy. We’re both sorry and that’s all that matters, right?” He says matter of factly.

“I guess..”

“Right! So, let’s just put this all behind us and move on. I really missed you, you know.” Seungcheols shoulders relax and his face softens. It all looks so natural, unlike everything else he’s been doing this whole time. You furrow you eyebrows at him wondering why he was being so hasty with this conversation. “How about we meet up next week and get some lunch? Just try and get back into the swing of things so everything can get back to normal.” He suddenly proposes.

“Um yeah, I-i’ll let you know if I’m free.”

“Great!” Seunghceol practically leaps out of the couch and heads to the doorway. “See you around!”

And he’s gone. 

Everything is back to normal now…

“Tell me everything he said.” Jeonghan urged on the other side of the phone. Audibly just as perplexed as you are with this whole ordeal. So you tell him everything.

You tell him how fast the conversation went by, how weird Seungcheol was acting the whole time, how dismissive he was.

“God this dude…” Jeonghan mumbled angrily, “I’m so sorry that he messed all of this up for you. That is so not ok.”

Messed this up?

“What do you mean by that Hannie?” You ask after a brief pause.

“Well, I mean by him messing things up between you guys, you know?” He said quickly. You can’t see it but by the tone of his voice, you know for a fact that he’s toying with the hem of his shirt. He always did that when he gets anxious.

“Jeonghan…” you say slowly, voice dropping dangerously low as you try to pull whatever it is he’s hiding out of him.

The line goes silent for a while.

Until he finally speaks up.

“I talked to him.”

Why did that not surprise you?

“He didn’t like you being upset at him for so long so he called me and asked me for advice on what to say to make you…get over it. That’s what he said at least. I’m not saying that you need to ‘get over it’ though!” He stammered over his words, desperately trying to justify himself. After a while of you not responding he lets out a sigh, “He’s been busy, real busy! You know that. He’s not thinking straight is all. Deep down he really does mean his apology its just..not showing yet.”

You let his words wash over you like a thunderstorm. 

Too busy to properly apologize? Not thinking straight enough to care? So caught up in his work he had his buddy feed him lines to read off?

huh.

“I gotta go.” Is all you gave as a reply. Too numb to truly tell Jeonghan how much this hurt you. Too emotionally overdrawn to explain how stupid this all makes you feel. 

So stupid for forgetting the fact that Jeonghan has known Seungcheol longer than you. So stupid for thinking that you were special enough to ever be accepted in their friend group.

Jeonghan speaks up again for the last time, cutting you out of your thoughts.

“I’m sorry.”

main m.list

svt m.list

[misty-groves]

Josie is standing before Tucker's room dressed in nothing but her kevlar undersuit. Though she still has knives strapped to her thigh. She dosen’t like to feel defenseless in a warzone.

She's exhuasted after trying to take down Felix today.

She knocks, waiting for whatever happens next.

Tucker opens the door, in lose sweat pants. He looks her over and gives a low whistle, "damn Josie, visiting me in next to nothing late at night?"

She laughs, "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure."

He steps aside, and she walks in.

"Can't sleep?" Tucker asks, trying to figure out what she's doing here.

"Not really. You can't either."

"Sho says?"

"You're up, aren't you?" She gives him a soft smile, the real one she hides from people because she thinks it's dorky and stupid.

Tucker is struck by just how genuine she's become around him. The others too, but she is genuine around him.

His whole persona is being a play boy! And she trusts him.

He snorts, "guess I am, sweet cheeks."

She laughs this time. She likes that name, from him at least. If someone else called her that she'd tell them off. But for whatever reason, when Tucker calls her that it makes her happy.

It didn't used to, but somewhere along the lime she warmed up to it. Maybe it's because she warmed up to him.

Josie sits herself in his bed, leaning back on her hands as she looks at him.

"Thanks, for stepping up." She says.

Tucker blinks, taken aback by both the words and the image of her on his bed.

"Uh- sure thing. Someone had to."

"I appreciate it though, Tucker. I'm glad I'm not the only one leading."

"Yeah well... we make a good team, don't we?"

"Of course we do!" She tilts her head, thinking.

"What's on your mind, Josie?"

"I miss the others... It's weird to be away from Wash again."

"You really love him, huh?" Tucker asks.

And it hurts, knowing that Josie is hedlad over heels for the ex freelancer.

It hurts that Wash is so gone on her he dosen’t even look at anyone else.

But he's seen Wash and Josie together, they fit together better than anyone he's ever seen but Simmons and Grif.

"You do too." Josie says simply.

"What?"

"At the very least you like him. I'm not stupid, Tucker, you two have a thing."

"You're fucking with me. It's not fucking funny, Josie. Next you'll tell me you're interested in me."

"And what if I do? Would that be so awful?"

"Don't fuck with me." Tucker says, crosshis arms firmly.

"I'm not. Do you need me to lay it all out?"

"Might as well, since you're so sure how I feel."

Josie sighs, turning her gaze to the wall for a moment. But she looks back at Tucker. Her hair sways as she crosses her legs.

"You already know Wash and I have this- thing."

Tucker rolls his eyes. "Everyone knows."

"Wash and I aren't together, never have been. I know you have a thing for him, which, I totally get by the way."

"So what? Just because he's hot doesn't mean-"

"Tucker," Josie interrupts, "Don't bullshit me. I know you."

"Whatever."

Josie takes that as a win. She continues, "But more than that I have a thing for you. And I think you like me too. Or I would like to think you do."

"Wait- you're serious?"

"I've told lots of lies, Tucker. But I wouldn't lie about this. Not to you."

And Tucker nearly chokes. He knows she's lied. She faked her own death, created a new barley different identity, and kept her A.I hidden. She'd withheld info from Wash back when he was hunting them

Hell. Josie had even admitted to sneaking out as a teen.

But she sounds so earnest. And she hasn't ever lied outright to Tucker only kept things hidden to protect herself or others. But never outright lie.

"Fuck." Tucker manages.

"This is the part where you tell me of you have a thing for me or not."

"Are you kidding? Of course I do you dumb bitch."

"Women don't usually appreciate being called that." Josie says, smiling nonetheless. "But it's good to know how you feel."

"You don't expect me to fall into being your boyfriend do you?" Tucker asks.

And he doesn't know what answer he wants.

She laughs, shaking her head. "No, there's a lot of talking that should happen before we slap any real label on us. There's the whole "we like Wash" thing."

"Yeah. I guess."

"How about for now you just come sleep with me?"

"Bow chicka bow wow!"

She rolls her eyes, "You know what I meant."

"I can dream."

"You don't to, we can try that later. But for right now, come lay your ass down and sleep."

"Bossy."

"You like that."

"I really do." Tucker agrees.

He joins her on the bed. They lay down and curl under the blanket. He finds that he likes having her in his space aren't he falls asleep.

Tucker wakes up before Josie for the first time he can remember. He's sprawled across his bed, one arm around her.

She's curls up with her back to him. He wild curls spread haphazardly about them both.

She's still breathing slow and steady, dead to the world as he moves to sit up.

"Josie?" Tucker asks softly.

"Ngh?" She groans, stirring.

"Josie."

"Shhhh...."

"Josie wake up."

"No." She says, closing her eyes harder.

Tucker snorts. Struck by the way the artificial light highlights her scars.

Josie opens one eye and looks at him "mhh, mornin' Tucker."

"Morning, sweetcheeks."

"You're awful flirty."

"I just go after what I like."

"Good."

And she's sitting up, smiling again at him. She's done that a lot lately.

"You are a menace when you sleep. You tried to kick me."

"Sorry. I forgot about that."

Tucker just rolls his eyes. Of course she did. The menace.

His menace though.

Wait-

"I should go get ready. See you at breakfast?"

"Like I'd skip breakfast."

She just snorts as she stands up.

She grabs her knives she left on his nights and and heads out.

And this time, Tucker dosen’t feel any guilt for staring at her as she leaves.