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sugars-fluffy-escapes · 2 years

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Ler!Eddie Munson Headcanons

Eddie Munson x Reader

Strictly SFW; fluffy, playful, and plenty of romantic + platonic sweetness all around, very self indulgent

Note: I. Have. Never. Ever. fallen in love with a character as fast as I fell in love with Eddie Munson. (First, this jerk <3 steals my heart platonically, and then BAM- steals my heart again and this time I want to kiss him-) Some of these hcs might diverge from the canon storyline, so do with that what you will <3 Major thanks to my tumblr moots for inspiring me and helping make these hcs happen. This is probably gonna be a long post 🥴 I have no regrets~

*Spoilers for Stranger Things 4 Volume 1 under the cut!*

Where... do I even begin... AHSJDJEJD- I suppose I'll start with this:

Eddie "The Ler" Munson. 🫢 EDDIE. "THE LER." MUNSON.

Eddie Munson is 100% a ler-leaning switch (unless he's around Steve 🫢 where he becomes the biggest lee a good 95% of their interactions). Yup. Absolutely a ler-leaning switch. I'd say that a good 80% of the time, he's the one tickling someone else to pieces.

This was a given- I mean, do you see how much he LOVES making people laugh??? (His whole cafeteria monologue had the Hellfire club giggling, the entire scene with Chrissy, his adorable little "still super jealous as hell by the way" moment with Steve 🥹)

So, if you happen to not only be ticklish, but you like being tickled... Eddie is going to have a field day, lemme tell you. He's familiar with the t-word quirk, he has the t-word quirk.

Either he knew he liked tickles long before he found out you like being tickled, or finding out that you like them was what made him realize it brought him as much joy as it brought you, which is a really cute concept and I can't get over it.

Eddie Munson is the scariest (<3) ler in the history of lers, and I will proudly die on that hill.

I say scariest, but Eddie would never ever want you to truly feel scared of him. He's an absolute sweetheart. An angel. A honeybun. However, he is playfully evil and a mischievous little shit (/p).

He never, EVER crosses your boundaries. He always asks for your consent before every affectionate gesture (hand holding, snuggles, platonic forehead or hand kisses or all those previous gestures in a romantic sense plus kisses on the lips if you're dating, and so on) and affectionate playful tickling is no different. Eddie Munson is strict af about consent.

What makes him scary is how invested he gets in the whole ler persona (You saw his theatrics in the cafeteria AND during the D&D scene? 💀 Yeah- I rest my case), his deadly good tickling skills, and the fact that he's very blunt about wanting to tickle you. It also doesn't help that he's absolutely FERAL.

For as often as he says so with a grin on his face or giggles leaving his lips, he will also say so very nonchalantly in the same manner he'd casually answer someone's question about what he had for breakfast- (🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️). However, Eddie will also say it in the most serious. tone. of voice.

"Eddie... What's with that look on your face? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because, I want to tickle you."

*cue you just about short circuiting because this man is bold bold as a ler*

He's definitely. completely. unafraid to be the most secondhand-embarrassing with his tickling theatrics. Like, it's bad enough being flustered because of him, but then he pairs it with the WORST secondhand embarrassment and it's deadly.

He makes the concept of "cringe" his bitch. Silly voices, ridiculous faces (The demon face he made at Jason ahsjsjdhf), the friggin finger wiggling that he's scarily skilled at since he plays guitar (bastard <3 /lh), doing a thing where he talks suuuper quietly and suddenly loudly evil cackles and you scream because he's jumpscared you AND is now tickling you at the same time.

Eddie is going to make up SEVERAL characters and use different voices as he sends you on the tickling version of the Hero's Journey. You know the whole "tickle monster" bit? Eddie Munson has created many, many versions of that bit.

Just to jump back to the demon face and devil horns thing he did. He will stand still and look at you with that exact same blank stare before suddenly pulling that face but instead of making devil horns, his fingers are wiggling and immediately after that he's chasing you. 🫢🫢🫢

He LIVES to fluster you or catch you off guard, so fully expect him to subtly, or maybe not subtly at all, teasingly wiggle his fingers in the air while he looks you dead in the eye.

Circling back to the whole "Eddie Munson has no issue vocally stating he wants to tickle you" thing, he also has a few looks he gives you that blatantly say:

"I am going to tickle the hell out of you at some point today and I'll leave it to you to decide when that's going to happen."

The smirk: An absolute classic, this one. If Eddie smirks at you, ha ha... you're in adorably ticklish danger.

The glare or the squint: Almost exclusively reserved for when you "piss him off." Sass him (especially during the Hellfire Club D&D campaigns) and see what happens.

The cheeky smile: A.K.A. Eddie can't stop admiring you and opts for tickling you because he lovesyour laugh and your smile and just wanted you to giggle. 👉🏾👈🏾

The puppy eyes: More so the "I can see you're feeling down and I really wanna make you feel better, please let me make you laugh for a little bit" kind of look. Like I said, Eddie is an absolute sweetheart and it hurts him to see you sad or upset in any way.

This absolute ass <3, sneaks tickling into the D&D campaign as often as possible. Whether it's the finger wiggle, giving you "the looks," saying the word out loud a few times in different context to make you squirm, describing something happening to your D&D character in a way that he KNOWS your brain will associate with being tickled (and he'll do the finger wiggle while he says it because he's an ass /lh /p)...

...or... if he's decided he's going to be very blatantly bold, your character actually encounters a tickle monster. AND... if he feels EXTRA bold, he's going to get up from his chair and tickle you if you don't roll enough hit points.

"Unfortunately, you did not roll high enough to make your attack~ The monster corners you, its hands lift, fingers wiggling... and it ATTACKS! With the most unbearable tickling you've ever endured in your time as a hero~"

He says it's for "immersion" but he knows what he's doing. Asshole <3

His favorite characters to act out are fantasy genre-related ones (of course they are! He's a D&D dungeon master) like an "evil overlord of tickling" who replenishes his mana from the sounds of your laughter.

He has custom dice with tickle spots on them, and dice with numbers for how many minutes he'll spend tickling that spot. T-word dice... HE HAS T-WORD DICE. And he makes YOU roll them-

"Y-You can't make 'me rolling a nat 20' the only way to get out of this!!!"

"Best hope luck is on your side, Y/N~"

*You do not roll the 20. OR. if you do, he cheats and turns it to a lower number. You're getting tickled either way*

You don't know this yet, but he has a BACKUP. SET. just in case you try to hide the dice from him. Good luck to you when you try hiding the dice and find out about the other set.

He will absolutely call you by your D&D character's name when he's tickling you during or after the Hellfire Club meetings.

I like to hc that there's a random beanbag chair off to the side somewhere in the room y'all hold the club meetings in. He's 100% going to drag you over to it at some point and place you on it before tickling you to pieces. It's the tickle chair- HE NAMED IT THAT.

Eddie Munson is not above chasing you down the hallway and out into the parking lot as soon as y'all are done with the club for the night.

"There is nooo shame, in running~" AHSJSKDJDJJEJE- PFFFHEEEEEE

This jerk knows every type of teasing in the nonexistent "ler manual."

I do mean EVERY TYPE.

Whether he uses them or not is entirely dependent on what you're comfortable with and your boundaries.

He LOVES using cutesy talk, but he will have zero complaints if you don't like it. If you don't like something, he won't do it, and that's final.

If you do like cutesy talk, Eddie is gonna be absolutely merciless with it-

His standard cutesy talk is this quieter, soft and sweet tone of voice and he's almost always smirking or grinning (unless he's been provoked into angry ler mode- I will elaborate on that in a bit 🫢)

"Why are you so giggly~? Huh~? You gonna tell me~?"

He is not above nuzzling your nose as he teasingly asks you why you're giggling like he doesn't know the damn answer.

If you're a person who's comfortable with full on babytalk/puppytalk kind of teases, it's your lucky day, because Eddie is also scarily good at those and manages to do so without sounding patronizing or like he's trying to be infantilizing.

If you don't like the babytalk/puppytalk, don't worry! Eddie understands 💙. (When I say that Eddie Munson has raised the bar from hell for me-)

He will however go so over the top with that kind of tease as a playful joke that makes you laugh because he sounds like a fucking idiot. He makes himself laugh with it several times because he cannot fucking take himself seriously.

Expect to hear him also jokingly use the most obvious teases that are most commonly associated with tickling. Like the classic "kitchy kitchy coo" type of teasing. He has a favorite one, though.👉🏾👈🏾 (I am too flustered to even type it out because it gives me the worst butterflies ever- so I have to copy paste it AGSHSHEJ)

"Goochie goochie goo~" Eddie LOVES annoying you with that one. (That fuckin phrase is my recently-discovered t-word KRYPTONITE- istg, it never flustered me before but then, the concept, of Eddie, teasingly singing that??? ⚰️ /lh)

He's an irritating little shit and it's cute. Eddie will annoy you with those joke teases and when you tell him off, well- further incentive to tickle you more. And he will justify it out loud to you.

"Maybe it wasn't the greatest idea to tell me to 'shut my pie-hole~'

If those joke teases happen to ACTUALLY fluster you (me with that tease I had to copy x paste) and you don't mind hearing them, and EDDIE FINDS OUT YOU LIKE THE TEASES??? Prepare for the worst butterflies of your entire life while your face and ears get warmer than freshly baked muffins. Eddie, from that moment onward, takes those teases verrrrry seriously. 😈

This little fucker <3 will teasingly sing the word "tickle" over and over until you can't even look at him. And then he'll act like he doesn't know why you can't stop hiding your face.

If you love the banter-filled teases with playful insults, Eddie's so down for that. We've seen his banter. ("This is Hellfire Club. Not Babysitting Club.")

"Still think I'm all talk, you giggly little shit!??? Eddie 'all talk and no tickles' Munson, is very clearly tickling you! You knowww~ maybe I should start calling you Y/N 'no talk and all tickles' L/N, because I'm going to tickle you speechless."

He is not above calling you insult names affectionately if that's something you like and will insult him back. Butthead, dipshit, dumbass, numb nuts, jerk, shithead, etc. You two could affectionately banter back and forth all day if that's your love language. 🥹

Sweet nicknames are an Eddie Munson specialty too. If you don't mind being given a cutesy nickname, he'll call you a bunch. Lovebug, honeybun, giggles, cute stuff, sugar berry (this one is self indulgence to the maximum degree. Guilty. Oops 🥴🫢), sweetie.

You are the only person that Eddie calls "sweetheart." He deadass adores you as much as he adores his electric guitar, and that is A LOT of adoration and love right there. Whether you two are just best friends, or if you two are romantically together. That nickname is very high honor.

One of Eddie's favorite things to do is purposely "zone out" mid conversation, and you try to get his attention, only for his slow-wiggling fingers to suddenly come into your line of vision...

...and he will keep a deadpan expression on his face, as he keeps moving his hand closer and you eventually end up a squeaking flustered heap on the floor after your attempts to get away...

...then you've just tucked your arms by your sides and shriek when he kneels beside you and hovers his wiggling fingers closer again. His suppressed smile finally breaks onto his face because he's so. entertained. over how you're not even being tickled yet but you're THAT squirmy over what he's doing.

"Why are you so giggly and nervous~?"

"B-Behehecahahause *hic* youhou're gonna... youhouhou're gohohonna..."

"Tickle you? Hm? Yeah, I am~ But you're gonna decide when I actually start~"

He loves being all soft and sweet-sounding with his voice in these moments.

"Why are you so giggly~? What's so funny~?"

"You're not gonna tell me what's making you laugh so much~? Do I have to tickle it out of you~?"

As mischievous and annoying but very adorable and sweet as he is, if you DO piss him off enough, I hope you're prepared for angry ler!Eddie. 🫢

He will whip his head around to look at you, and either glare, or smile, before he starts moving toward you as he tells you that you are in for the tickling of your life.

This is the point where you should run. It's not like he won't catch you though. If you don't run, he'll encourage you to, just because he likes the chase and it's adorable how you react when he catches you.

Eddie's teasing amplifies by a full 100. He is going to use EVERY tease that he knows flusters you and he will repeat them relentlessly.

You know the whole "mock sympathy" thing? Yeah. Eddie Munson is really good at the mock sympathy.

"Awwwww, I know it tickles like hell. That was the goal."

"Switch spots? Is it too bad~?"

*cue you nodding, only for Eddie to move one hand to another weak spot so he's tickling two at the same time and you're thrown back into laughter*

The man is ruthless AGSHDHDJR- To make it worse, he doesn't even act silly or laugh along. His face. Is so. Serious. Or there's the tiniest smirk on his face.

Oh my God- there are so many more hcs I have for angry ler!Eddie but I am flustered enough as it is. (Don't worry, I'm not done with angry ler!Eddie you'll see the concept explored in fics- AGSJDJRKE) So, let's talk about Eddie post-tickling you to tears.

Every time, after Eddie's tickled you, he holds up his hands with a giggle and assures you he's done. Eddie's an attentive guy, and he'll stop whenever you want him to. First thing he does after that is grab you water.

He asks if he can give you a hug or hold your hand or snuggle. Whatever form of affection you allow, Eddie is so sweet about it. What he says also depends on whether he was in a soft mood, mischievous mood, or a full on "you are done for" mood.

Eddie will dote on you all damn day after that if you let him. I'm not even kidding.

Wanna watch a movie? You get to pick it. And if it turns out to be boring the two of you, he'll talk over the movie with his own lines and character voices or roast the characters in the film just to make you laugh.

Hungry? He'll grab whatever snack you like. You just want to hold his hand and snuggle? Okee dokee. Hell, he'll even play songs on his guitar for you (yes. Eddie Munson will play your favorites 🥹).

No matter how you spend the rest of your time together, you can count on Eddie Munson to be the sweetest friend (or boyfriend) ever. Be on the lookout though 👀 because you might soon once again see Eddie Munson's slowly wiggling fingers out of the corner of your eye~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm so effing flustered from writing this oh my sweet Jesus H. CHRIST- AHSJDJKDFM /lh

I hope these hcs were worth the wait 🥺 The in progress fics I was working on before I got sick are still on their way, but I think I need to let myself get back into the writing groove and let my brain write for the most currently active hyperfixation. There'll probably be a whole wave of Eddie content on the blog. Get ready for the ler!Eddie Munson renaissance ✨ /p

~ Ushu 💕

#ler!eddie munson #lee!reader #ticklish!reader #eddie munson fluff #sfw tickle headcanons #sfw tickles

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rick-rayson · 4 years

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Okay after that one Stephanie Brown/Y/n post I made I've been thinking. . .

While Damian is Batman's Robin, Y/n could be Batgirl's Robin! Now I know some people might think "ugh not Batgirl she isn't as cool of a partner as Batman blah blah blah."

And they'd be right.

BECAUSE BATGIRL WOULD BE BETTER.

LITERALLY ANY VERSION OF BATGIRL COULD/WOULD BE AN AMAZING PARTNER AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

If Robin!Y/N worked with Barbara's Batgirl they'd be such a good team. Babs isn't the most easygoing light-hearted person who's worn the cowl but she is definitely the most structured and fixed of them.

Babs has been with the Batfamily since its early days, she's seen Robins come and go and die and come back. So when you come around Babs is keen on keeping you alive god damn it.

She has a schedule made. Patrol for a few hours, constant reports are mandatory at the end. Going out without her is not happening so don't even try.

Okay... She lets you patrol alone sometimes. Sometimes. But do know that she'll always watch over you as much as she can and reports are still expected.

"Patrol time, Y/n." Barb hands you your mask before sitting down on her desk chair. You notice she's getting comfortable, snacking on some food.

"Uhm, Barb, aren't you coming?"

"I thought I'd let you patrol solo tonight. Let you spread your wings without the fear of my scrutiny." Barbara finishes her snack as she gazes upon her computer screen.

"You really trust me?" You ask.

"Of course I do." Babs turns to you with a proud smile, "You're my partner after all."

Just know that she always has a proud smile on her face and a rush of excitement when you accomplish something she's been teaching you.

You're the first to hear her plans because at the end of the day you're her Robin, sure you may be a sidekick at first but Babs wants to help you eventually become her partner. She wants your future to be secure.

The key skill you'd learn from Barbara is Calculation. She's set you up to the point in where you could easily lead your own team of Teen Titans one day.

But with whatever happens, and whatever bigger role you take in the future, Barbara will always see you as her Young Wonder.

Cassandra as Batgirl might be difficult to deal with communication wise, but she is so understanding and patient. However, you may notice early on that she acts without even signaling you.

Unlike Barbara who'd come to see you as a student to an equal, Cass would drill it in at the beginning that you're a sidekick.

This isn't because she doubts your ability, but because she doubts hers.

Babs would probably notice that Cass takes you out of battles and brushes you off to the sidelines so she can go at it alone and that's kinda when big sis Babs talks to the both of you about that.

Babs has a private talk about it with Cassie and when she comes back Cassie gives you a rather awkward shoulder pat before walking off.

A while later though Cassie comes back and gives you papers, some showing pictures of hand signals and what they're for. You never knew but at that moment a promise was made.

You would become Cassandra's Robin, and she'd become your Batgirl.

Your time with Cassandra is different from your time with Barbara in the fact that- whilst Barbara was the one who taught and you were the one that would learn, you come to find that with Cassie it's a learning experience for the both of you.

If someone were to ask you what's the most important thing you learned from Cassandra it would be communication.

Not just verbal communication either. You two would come to work so fluidly that it'd even impress Batman. No words need to be said, not even the slightest physical signal, but the both of you know exactly what the other is trying to communicate and it terrifies your friends and your foes.

Working with Stephanie as Batgirl is- to say the least, the most chaotic and feral partnership you've ever been in and you wouldn't have it any other way.

With Babs you'd learned to be logical and independent, with Cass you'd learned how to observe and report in ways not known to the average person so what could you learn from Stephanie?

"Fun?" You tilt your head, confused as ever.

"Yup! C'mon Lil Wing!" Stephanie smiles at you.

Stephanie was the fourth Robin, so when she learned that you'd become Robin she was ecstatic, but a little disappointed for the fact that you weren't experiencing what she considers one of the most important parts of being Robin.

Exploring your youth. You were already skilled in many things prior to becoming Steph's partner (thanks to Cassie and Babs) but Stephanie was still motivated to teach you something as well.

She knows that balancing your superhero life with your civillian life can be stressful and often times suffocating, so she does her best to make sure that you're having fun.

It's come to a point in where criminals and civillians alike will hear your laughter ring throughout the city of Gotham. This terrifies your enemies and brings relief to both the innocent and Batgirl.

Stephanie became Robin during a troubling time in her childhood, but what brought her the most joy was wearing that yellow cape and swinging through the night. So she wants you to find enjoyment with that you have.

The most important thing you learn with Stephanie, in her words: "There is always room for hope. in our line of work."

Her definition of Robin is youthful freedom. She will not force this meaning on to you but you notice right away that she still lives by it to this day.

Now, if you were to ask me: "What would Y/n learn from being the Robin to Batgirl?"

This might not be the right answer, might not even be the wrong answer but to me it is enough.

The most important thing Y/n would learn from the Batgirl's is to live.

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anon-rebel-writes · 3 years

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WIP Wednesday!

Hello everyone! I hope you are having a glorious Wednesday!

I worked more on that magic/sneeple story! I like the way it’s coming along! I’m not gonna lie, it’s a lot longer than I thought it’d be! Not that it’s insanely long, but it’s definitely one of my longer works, which I think is a good thing? I mean more Lukanette never hurt anyone XD

(Also my best friend informed me that there’s a lot more to snake people than just being half-human/half-snake, so now I have to go back and edit the work I already wrote because apparently sneeple do a lot more than just slither and have tails XD (Also also, the official name of that species is NOT sneeple, but I’ve grown affectionate with this name, so I’mma keep calling them sneeple! And yes, this is a hill I am willing to die on XD))

(Also also also, I’m totally going to get some things wrong with their...culture? Is it called a culture if the beings aren’t real? I still have a lot to learn about them! I’ve read up on them but a lot of it is...well... confusing to say the least XP So I’m gonna apologize in advance!)

Today’s snippet is going to (sorta) continue from the last snippet! Mainly because I don’t wanna give too much away. Also it’s kinda cute and fluffy and I thought everyone might enjoy that (figured that other Lukanette lovers might need a pick-me-up XD)

Anyways, the snippet begins under the cut! <3

If being ‘tense’ could be personified, Marinette was the perfect candidate.

His coils were soft, extremely smooth, and very shiny, but noticing his tail and sitting in the middle of it were two completely different things. The way the tip of it flicked against her ankle definitely wasn’t helping.

But none of that could compare to Luka’s face buried in her neck. She wasn’t sure what was worse, his breath tickling her baby hairs, or the fact that Luka’s face was buried in her neck.

At least in this position, he couldn’t see her face. There were no spells in the world to hide the pure red that engulfed her cheeks.

“I don’t want you blaming yourself,” Luka whispered. And with that one sentence, Marinette could safely say that the soft breath against her skin was absolutely worse than anything else in this world.

Well, that and the fact that she turned her friend/crush into a snake person.

“Honestly the amount of times I turned mom into an eagle was shocking, and she usually stayed like that for awhile. At least like this, I can actually talk. You’ve heard how loud my mom is, now imagine if she could only communicate via squaking.”

They shared a soft laugh. At another time, Marinette would’ve been thankful to Luka for trying to make the situation less tense, but the laughter was not helping the ticklish feeling on her neck.

Marinette shimmed in place, trying to force herself into relaxing, but sitting in his lap was anything but relaxing. Physically? It was amazing. His tail was oddly softer than she imagined it would be. Emotionally? She was dying. The closer Luka snuggled into her, the more she was becoming okay with death. Dying in his lap wouldn’t be that bad, right?

Luka’s body continued to coil around her. His tail brushed against her leg and it sent tingles up her body and straight into her brain. Now that she could actually feel him, she noticed he felt cool to the touch, as if there wasn’t any heat in his body.

Was that a side-effect of being a snake person? Being more cold? Does this mean he was cold-blooded? Don’t snakes usually-?

“You’re so warm, Mari.”

Yup, she was dead. One sentence was all she needed to kill her. Honestly was she ever alive? The feeling Luka gave her from that one sentence was definitely the most alive she’s ever felt in her life.

#wip wednesday #wip #lukanette #pro lukamari #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #magic au #mage au #magic shenanigans #snake people #sneeple #snake person luka?#seriously how do I even tag this XD

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lovelyirony · 4 years

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fic title: I’m falling and the sun is blinding me to your faults

i wanted to do an au of this one, so presenting: tony and rhodey, but make it villainous. i think it’d be fun!

James Rhodes is two things, first and foremost being that he is a businessman.

People call him a villain. He doesn’t really think he’s that villainous.

After all, he only took over New York. He left all the other states alone, so that has to mean something. He was gracious!

He also wouldn’t consider himself a villain because everyone who works under him gets health insurance. They don’t complain that much, although he’s gotten some about the quality of the buffet on Fridays.

Catering companies. Hit-or-miss, you know?

There have been a couple of companies who try to stop him. Rivals that hate that his products are better and employees are happier, for one. Those are easy to dismiss.

SHIELD is one company who tries, and fails. Repeatedly. It would be embarrassing, but Rhodes has respect for Agents Romanov and Hill, who have been the closest to breaking into his personal office.

The player that isn’t registering on the field is Tony Stark. Perhaps because he isn’t so much of a player on the field as an existing person who just happens to be on a field. Or a building. However you would like to imagine it.

In other universes, he walks like he owns the world because he could buy up everything and still have money left over to get ice cream at the end of the day.

In this universe, his father kicked him out of his house for various things, the most prominent being that Tony is rather partial to kissing guys and ladies, and that just simply won’t do.

(Tony also stole enough money out of his bank account to buy a house and also start his own business without his knowledge, but in the grand scheme of things, that’s just a small drop in the ocean.)

Tony made his own tech start-up business. He’s invented a few new things that hit the market discreetly, and he’s building up more and more clientele. He’s about to open another shop, and in all honesty he’s not worried about getting noticed.

This is until Rhodes comes across an employee bragging about a new repair guy who makes computers run twice as fast, charges less than most repair shops, and looks mighty fine in a tank top.

The last reason is reason enough to visit.

But also, to see who’s been fixing up Rhodes tech and can make it faster. He doesn’t know why he wouldn’t have just applied for a job.

Tony is not expecting Rhodes to enter into his building. He has people who are walk-ins, but usually you would expect a villain to make an appointment. Or not, they are villains.

“I heard that you’ve been improving my phones,” James says. He leans into Tony’s space. He smells quite nice, has a well-tailored suit, and Tony is trying very hard not to find him attractive. That’s not the sort of thing you could be focusing on.

“You gonna sue me or something?”

“No, I want to hire you.”

Tony blinks.

“Oh. No thank you.”

Rhodes pulls back.

“Why ‘no’?”

“I like my shop just fine. And you have things well-handled.”

“Could I consult you?”

“You can’t afford me.”

Rhodes grins.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Of course I am. Can I get anything for you today, or did you just want to beg me to come work for you?”

“Most people would never be this bold.”

"What would they be? Terrified in your presence?”

“More or less, yes. It’s what I prefer.”

"I don’t cater to people’s preferences, it’s a character flaw and strength,” Tony quips.

Rhodes smiles.

It’s terrifyingly beautiful, really. Tony is at a loss for words.

“I think I’m liking you, Stark.”

“Tony. You don’t call me Stark. I don’t do the last name dynamic.”

“Sweetheart, then. Not your last name.”

“Pet names, seriously?”

“Oh you got it, honey.”

“Then go on, platypus,” Tony throws back.

“Platypus? Really?”

"Pet names are on the menu, honey bunch. Just try me.”

Rhodes smiles, turning to exit.

“I’ll be in touch, darling.”

Tony leans against his desk, legs shaking underneath.

There are two problems that he’s not sure how to solve. Here they are:

1.) Rhodes now has Tony on his radar, which is probably bad because Tony will absolutely be used for world domination or whatever.

2.) Tony doesn’t really mind as long as he gets to see Rhodes because goddamn. That man could get so many things, and he probably has. And Tony wouldn’t mind being one of those things if he played his cards right.

But for now, Tony just wants to fix computers and maybe just buy a new brand of tea, but he’s honestly not sure.

Rhodes makes an appointment to meet.

Of Fucking Course.

Tony is not impressed, and is also not impressed that he comes in with a very expensive custom-made designer suit, whereas Tony is not sure the last time his pair of jeans got washed, and an old t-shirt that’s advertising an ice cream shop that is closed now.

“You love to make an entrance all the time?” Tony asks. “What can I legally do for you?”

“You’re assuming I’m making you do illegal things, babe?”

“Yes, Rhodey.”

“It’s Rhodes.”

“Hm, maybe. But not to me. Rhodey. I wanna ruin your business impression.”

Pepper snorts besides Rhodes, who is suitably impressed that Tony doesn’t give one flying fuck about the fact that he could destroy him at any point.

“I’m ordering that on your next business card deal.”

“I’ll fire you.”

“You can’t find someone as competent as me, don’t even joke.”

“I came here for an opportunity for you. You’ve managed to get some people’s computers to speed up so much. And I want you to do it with all of my employee’s computers.”

“What, you couldn’t reverse-engineer it? See what I did for yourself?”

Rhodey grins.

“I never question a handsome man’s work, darling.”

Tony turns red.

“You’re really bad with professionalism, honeysop.”

“What the hell is that?”

“What, never heard about romance in the fifteenth century? Boring.”

“Will you do the job or not?”

“What are the terms, the conditions, and how much are you paying?”

Pepper steps forward, a sizable stack of paperwork in her hands.

The work would pay off the building. It would pay off his mortgage on his house. Hell, it would help a lot. He’d have extra to mess around and maybe go on a vacation.

The downside is that he’s helping a villain get faster speed and better battery life with laptops. This could also mean he’d die, but honestly he was kind of expecting an early death.

Rhodey assures him that he won’t die.

“If anyone touches you, then they feel my wrath,” he says. His teeth glint underneath the lights. “And honey, no one ever likes feeling that.”

“What, it isn’t all feather-light tickles?”

“Touches a bit more than that.”

There’s an unspoken story there. Rhodey’s grin goes from tight and eyes empty to refocusing on Tony and turning soft, genuine.

“We can discuss the official plans over dinner.”

“Dinner won’t work for me, I got plans tonight.”

“A hot date?”

"A special movie screening,” Tony says. “Can’t miss it. Maybe next time, or the next three times.”

Rhodey smiles.

“Maybe sometime.”

“Maybe.”

Holy fuck.

Rhodes International has a local coffee shop on the lobby. A barista is a cheerful girl who has neon yellow hair greets him and asks if he wants a complimentary drink.

“You...know who I am?”

“Not in the slightest!” she says cheerily. “I have a memory thing where I remember everyone I ever meet and who I don’t meet. What kind of coffee guy are you?”

“Um...you guys have mint syrup?”

“Yup!”

“Then I guess a peppermint latte?”

“Coming right up!”

So here is this girl humming what sounds suspiciously like the Winnie the Pooh song as she makes a drink, and that drink is amazing.

Also, people are wearing, it seems, whatever outfit they want. There are some people talking, and two look to be dressed in professional business clothing, but the third guy they’re talking to is wearing ripped jeans and a tank top has the phrase of “I’m Just Existing on a Manifestation of Reality” emblazoned.

It’s odd.

“So glad you could make it, Tones,” Rhodey says.

“Tones?”

“What, too much?”

“Tones sounds like you know me.”

“And I don’t?”

“What’s my favorite jam?”

“Why jam?”

“If you know someone well, you know their favorite type of jam.”

“Orange marmalade?”

“What the fuck do I look like, Paddington?”

“You’re right, Paddington’s not near as sexy.”

“This counts as harassment, right? This counts as harassment.”

“Don’t have him sue us already, he’ll win,” Pepper says, breezing to their sides. God, she’s gorgeous. Casually dressed in a pencil skirt and a blouse and acting like she doesn’t look like a goddess. Must be exhausting. “Tony, great to have you. Let me show you who you’re working with.”

He has his own fancy office, a team that knows what they’re doing, and catered lunch.

Catered lunch. It’s not even a Friday.

“Friday’s are questionable,” Rhodey says. “Weird selection.”

“You don’t wanna know,” says Intern Joe.

That’s literally on his ID card.

Tony starts work. It’s not bad, not at all. He works in the mornings on the weekends and Mondays as well as Thursdays, and then sometimes does work from his own office.

Rhodey is...nice.

This is a bit unsettling, because Rhodey literally just threatened the president over an environmental bill not being accepted and currently all employees are only slightly scared.

“This is just like three months ago,” says Janice The Badass. (Also on her ID card.) “Don’t worry, the government can’t do anything. They rely on us too heavily.”

“For what?”

“For safety.”

“Not asking.”

“Good, I’m not going to answer.”

“Okay?”

It’s also weird that Rhodey checks in on him. He brings him coffee how he likes it, and he makes him sit down and try new foods with him.

He’s not bad at conversational topics either. Tony’s used to talking, and he’s used to bad-talking on dates. This doesn’t come close.

No, they talk about the differences of Star Trek and how much Tony hates specific brands of pens, and how Rhodey is a disaster when it comes to coordination of ties.

“I don’t like ties,” he scowls.

“Then why wear one?”

“Pepper says they look nice.”

“Why do you need to look nice?”

“Most things are all about presentation.”

“Ah, need to be taken seriously.”

“Only at times when I’m facing government officials or weird corporate bosses.”

“Aren’t you a corporate boss?”

“I’m a corporate boss who is also an enemy of fellow corporate bosses. Weird thing.”

“That’s...intriguing.”

“How so?”

“Well, how does that work?” Tony asks, popping a couple blueberries into his mouth. “How are you both the same and an enemy?”

“Watch and learn, sugar. Watch and learn.”

Tony is allowed on the next business meeting. Which, coincidentally, his old Uncle Obadiah is part of.

This leads to rather undesired complications.

“You’re working for a supervillain?” Obie practically yells.

“Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that,” Tony says. “I just work with computers.”

“Besides if he wanted to work for a real supervillain, wouldn’t he be working for you?” Rhodey asks.

He’s sitting in one of those rolling-chairs, and despite that, he made it his throne. He’s relaxed in it, perfectly at peace with the situation. All eyes are on him.

“I’m not the one that the government is after.”

“And yet I’m the one who’s successfully paid taxes. Where have yours gone, hm? Strip club in Vegas? Weapon sales in Afghanistan?”

Obie freezes.

Tony knows that when you freeze, it is your worst tell.

“Does dad know?”

This time, Rhodey turns towards him. He’s surprised.

“We’ll discuss that later. But does Howard know, Obadiah?”

“Howard is none of your concern.”

“Oh my god, he is,” Rhodey says grinning. “You haven’t told him about your little back-door escapades. I wonder what would happen if I told him.”

“You don’t want me as an enemy,” Obadiah says, shaking. He looks at Tony. “And you, boy, you just earned yourself a death sentence.”

“Funny, Howard said the same thing when he kicked me out of the house,” Tony says as he’s checking his nails. Rhodey thinks he is in love.

“Go ahead and try to get me as an enemy, see how well it works for you,” Rhodey says, pearly whites on display. “I took over the entire state of New York, leaving everyone in power allied with me. Plus, Tony hasn’t pushed his legacy from what I’ve seen, but what would happen if I just...let him talk? At the next press conference, perhaps.”

Tony grins, and it’s dangerous.

“Yeah Obie, what if I talked? I’m sure Howard’s disastrous attempt at fatherhood would be a real uptick in stock points.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Just watch. Just fucking watch,” Tony says. “I still know how to smile for the press, and I still remember all of my lessons for how to make sure anything is believable.”

He shakes.

Rhodey gets security.

Tony visibly relaxes as Stane is led out of the building, and Rhodey smiles over at him.

“What?”

“You wanna grab dinner with me?”

“Like as a casual dinner, or a date-dinner?”

“How about both?”

“Thank god, I can’t remember where my nice shoes are.”

Tony supposes it is odd to be out to dinner with one of the most-feared men in all of New York.

But it was hard to fear him when he was currently trying to lick ice cream off the tip of his nose with no such luck.

Or when Rhodey kisses him senseless on his doorstep and makes fun of the little gnome that he’s put outside, and Tony giggles and watches him leave in his fancy car, still leaning on his door.

Oh, he’s got it bad.

But he doesn’t mind.

#this was supposed to take a WAY darker turn #but then i forgot bc i listened to frank sinatra #so instead it is now funnie #lovelyirony writes #rhodeytony #rhodey becomes a villain but like. ethical? i'm joking #i just wasn't sure how to make him Villain Supreme #tony doesn't exactly mind #pet names out of SPITE #i love that dynamic #tony stark #rhodey #james rhodey rhodes #obadiah stane

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sarahzstories · 4 years

Text

*A/N this is an interview with Gwen and Harry Styles from my Instagram story that you can read here! This is done as if the interviewer is sitting in their living room asking them questions for a magazine! I hope you enjoy this little glimpse into the Styles marriage!*

Q: Harry what was your first impression of Gwen?

Harry: I thought she was dead at first.

Gwen: That’s so lovely honeybuns. Why don’t you elaborate on that?

Harry: Right well, I was walking down the beach after a few cocktails at this bar I went to a lot in Jamaica and uh...well there was this body just laying in the sand and uhm...I’m not going to lie I did contemplate kicking her when I first approached her.

Gwen: That’s a good first thought process to kick a body you assume is dead.

Harry: Don’t be mean lovey. I’m being honest.

Gwen: Please go on...

Harry: But I didn’t have to kick her or anything because as soon as I kneeled down to like touch her she opened her eyes and gave me this huge smile as if she’d known I was there the whole time and in that very moment I remember going “oh wow”

Gwen: He did in fact say that out loud.

Harry: She was honestly mesmerizing and it had nothing to do with the drinks I’d had before seeing her.

Gwen: I’m sure the booze had nothing to do with it. *pats Harry’s leg*

Harry: So my first impression was “is she dead?” And “wow” does that answer the question?

Gwen: I hope you’re comfortable? This is going to be a while...was that just the first question?

Harry: *rolls eyes*

Q: Did you instantly hit it off?

Gwen: I’d say yes, because after we met on the beach we spent the rest of my time in Jamaica together.

Harry: Yes we hit it off right away. We just sort of had a spark and I just didn’t want to spend time without her if I didn’t have to, honestly I’d never met anyone like her before.

Gwen: He’s still like that.

Harry: It’s true. i don’t like to be away from her if I don’t have to be.

Q: Who made the relationship official and when?

Harry: I did and it was the day my album came out and honestly it wasn’t planned it just sort of happened.

Gwen: He was on FaceTime with me while I finally got to listen to his album and he just kind of blurted out that he loved me.

Harry: Yup. I said “I love you” and she smiled and said it back so naturally I followed that up with “so, can I call you my girlfriend now or is that lame?”

Gwen: And to that of course I told him “sure” ya know super casual.

Harry: That’s us right? The picture of a casual couple.

Gwen: Gucci isn’t casual honeybuns.

Harry: It can be if done properly.

Q: Where do the nicknames honeybuns and love comes from?

Gwen: I mean look at him! He is sweet and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy like a honeybun.

Harry: She’s just always been my lovey? I don’t remember a time where I didn’t call her that.

Gwen: He only calls me other names when he’s upset with me.

Harry: True...but that’s very rare

Q: Gwen did you honestly not know who Harry was when you met him? And was that weird for you Harry?

Gwen: I had heard of him yes, I mean I didn’t live under a rock and I’m from California so the name Harry Styles I’d heard before. But I honestly didn’t know what he looked like before meeting him. I wasn’t a huge One Direction fan and he hadn’t had any solo stuff out yet so I didn’t really see his face anywhere.

Harry: You didn’t like One Direction?

Gwen: Do not start with me. I didn’t say I didn’t like One Direction, I just said I wasn’t a huge fan. There’s a difference. That type of music just wasn’t my thing. But I listen to it now with Vivienne.

Harry: But really it was sort of not weird but refreshing? The fact that this human whom I’ve completely become enamored with has no clue who I am other than what she sees and knows because of things I’ve told her, it was very exciting because it just assured me that she really liked me for the real me and not Harry Styles from One Direction.

Gwen: When I found out that he was this massive superstar it didn’t change anything about him in my eyes. We met in a situation where no one treated him any different than everyone else so it wasn’t until I got back home and told my friends who I had met and what had happened that it all sort of came crashing down that “wow he is like a really big deal huh?”

Harry: I remember being so scared about what was going to happened when she left Jamaica since I still had loads to do with the album and such and I just didn’t want what we had built together to get ruined by like the reality of the real world if that makes sense? I didn’t want her finding out about “Harry Styles” to ruin it all because I really liked her.

Gwen: It makes sense honeybuns. We met in the weirdest of circumstances so that’s a very rational fear to have. But look at us! We’ve come so far!

Harry: So far indeed.

Q: Who is more romantic?

Harry: Gwen.

Gwen: See I was going to say you!

Harry: Me? No way. You leave me those cute little notes in random places that have those little poems on them.

Gwen: Yeah but you send me flowers randomly and will text me in the middle of the day reminding me of random things you love about me.

Harry: So it’s safe to say we are both equally romantic? I will say this though, Gwen knows how to plan a romantic date that would put even the greatest romance movies to shame.

Gwen: I do love a good romantic date.

Q: What’s Harry like in the mornings?

Gwen: Annoyingly cheery.

Harry: Ah love a good morning.

Gwen: Really he is a dream in the morning because me and mornings don’t mix well so he’s quite lovely to have around in the morning. He makes my coffee and sometimes if I’m really in a mood he will put my slippers on my feet for me.

Harry: That happens about four days out of the week lovey...

Gwen: Like I said me and mornings don’t mix well so he’s good to have around.

Harry: *smiles*

Q: Do you think you two have a healthy relationship?

Harry: Uh I mean yes? But I’m not afraid to say I’m a very codependent type human and Gwen is who I have clung to over the past few years but that’s just me being honest.

Gwen: I think we have a healthy relationship. Every couple is different and Harry and I just prefer to be around each other anytime that we can. But that’s what happens when you meet your soulmate.

Harry: I agree lovey. Gwen is literally my human. So if you’ve met your human than you get it? It’s almost painful to be without them. But I don’t think that’s unhealthy? We can go places without each other we just don’t enjoy it as much.

Gwen: I let him go to the grocery store without me. I loathe that place.

Harry: True. She hates it so yes I go there alone once a week and it’s fine.

Q: What’s something a lot of people get wrong about your relationship?

Gwen: That it’s all perfect all the time, like people really think we don’t ever argue and I’m like what? We broke up for like five months at one point. We aren’t perfect.

Harry: Yes people seem to think the two of us are just such a perfect match that we aren’t allowed to disagree or fight. We have disagreements but we are adults so we handle it and move on.

Gwen: He thinks that glitter belongs on everything and I disagree. There is a time and a place for it.

Harry: That time and place is always and on everything. So you see? We are just going to move on now because she knows that’s a hill I am willing to die on.

Gwen: He will defend glitter until his dying breath.

Q: Why did you two break up? Who initiated getting back together?

Harry: I was selfish and assumed Gwen was going to always be okay with having her dreams be on the back burner until I got my career where I wanted it. So naturally she just got tired of it and left, I completely deserved it.

Gwen: I didn’t just leave though. It wasn’t quite that dramatic, we had a long conversation and decided it would be best if I moved out and at that point he had just started all his Gucci campaign stuff so he left for Italy while I moved back into my old place.

Harry: Also I initiated the getting back together process because Gwen knew that I just needed my time to really process what I wanted and that when I was ready I’d find her again.

Gwen: It was all very mutually respectful, I knew what he needed and he also knew that I needed to go and do some things for myself so it wasn’t this big sad emotional thing because I think we both knew we’d end up together it was just a matter of when.

Harry: Oh yeah I knew you’d be mine again I just needed to get my shit together first.

Gwen: Honeybuns! Language...

Harry: Oh right! Sorry...

Q: Was Vivienne planned?

Harry: Yes. Everyone assumes she wasn’t and I think that’s solely because when we announced Gwen was pregnant we weren’t engaged or anything.

Gwen: Harry and I have known we are it for each other since the very beginning so wanting to start a family was a very natural next step for us even though we didn’t have the labels of husband and wife yet.

Harry: Exactly, we’d been together for a while and I kept telling her how our house could use some more heartbeats and not ones that belong to cats.

Gwen: He made it pretty clear he wanted a baby and one night I told him “a baby would be nice” and boom two months later I found out about Vivienne.

Harry: I don’t like to waste time.

Q: How did you two find out about Vivienne?

Gwen: I was tired a lot and that’s very much not my thing.

Harry: She may hate mornings but she isn’t one to lay in bed all day. So we kinda knew something was off.

Gwen: So I went to the doctor and got some blood work done and they came back with a smile on their face and I just knew. I was like “I’m pregnant.” And I cried because I mean I’m carrying a little human! It was very emotional for me.

Harry: So naturally she had to call me to come get her because she wasn’t in any condition to drive and when I got there she was a mess and I could tell by how she was smiling probably the biggest smile I’d ever seen on her face that it was good news and I just started getting all watery eyed myself because being a dad is just... something I’ve wanted for a while.

Gwen: I didn’t get to tell him in some elaborate way, I’m not very big on that type of thing so that whole situation of him having to come get me is very us.

Harry: Yes very us indeed, crying in the middle of a lobby over Vivienne.

Q: What was Harry’s proposal like?

Gwen: Very casual because I was very pregnant and we were laying on the couch and he went to go get my heating pad and I had Lancelot on my hip and Merlin was laying on my feet and when he came back into the living room he laughed and I was “are you laughing at me? Why are you laughing at me?”

Harry: It almost went very bad very quickly because she doesn’t like to be laughed at if she didn’t intentionally do something funny. It hurts her feelings.

Gwen: But anyway he comes in without my heating pad but he has this little box in his hands and then he got down on one knee and leaned over the couch and grabbed my hand and at this point I’m crying and Lancey and Merlin are looking at him like “why are you hurting my mom? I will kill you” because they got very protective of me while I was pregnant.

Harry: I mean it makes sense. You’re their queen...

Gwen: True. But then Harry placed the ring on my middle finger because that’s the only one it would fit at the moment and goes “Please allow me the pleasure of being yours for all eternity? I promise I’ll never stop loving you.” So I said yes and we both cried as usual and it was very sweet.

Harry: Best decision I’ve ever made was asking Gwen to allow me to love her forever.

Q: What was the wedding like?

Harry: It was perfect. It was exactly what we wanted and very small and intimate. Gwen looked like an absolute vision.

Gwen: It was very romantic and not on a beach as everyone assumed it would be. It was very low key and it was just a dream. I loved every moment of it.

Harry: *stares at Gwen with a grin on his face*

Gwen: He’s thinking about it...

Q: How many kids do you want? What do you want next?

Harry: Six

Gwen: He’s been saying six for like a few weeks now but we for sure see ourselves with at least four.

Harry: Why not add two more and make it six? Six is a solid number.

Gwen: I’ll have six if one set is of twins.

Harry: That’s fare lovey, I’d love a set of twins.

Gwen: But as far as what we want next we don’t care. Gender is a social construct that we don’t really abide by.

Harry: We just want healthy children.

Q: Harry have you written any songs about Gwen?

Gwen: Oh yes good question. He doesn’t answer when I ask this and I only truly know of one song.

Harry: Yes I have.

Gwen: What songs?

Harry: That wasn’t the question lovey.

Gwen: *rolls eyes*

Q: How have things changed since you’ve gotten more personal on social media Harry?

Harry: I think people can see a side of me that normally they wouldn’t. I’m still very private with things but Gwen shares a bit more than me and I love that the fans or just anyone who’s interested in our lives can get a little glimpse of what’s really going on. It’s been nice.

Gwen: We are still very private and don’t show certain things, like we didn’t post a picture of Vivienne until we were already safe at home and all that. I love Harry’s fans to death and they for the most part love us as well but I also know not everyone is on our social media out of love for us so I think we have a nice balance of showing the real us while keeping somethings to ourselves.

Harry: I agree. We keep a good balance and it’s been great.

Q: Who is worst at answering texts?

Gwen: Me

Harry: She is the worst.

Gwen: He will text me and I’ll just call him and he’s like “lovey there is a reason I texted instead of calling you..” and he’ll be in a meeting and I’ll feel horrible.

Harry: Happens all the time. She doesn’t like to text.

Q: How do you make your marriage work while Harry’s gone a lot for work?

Harry: We communicate very well. We have routines we do every day while I’m away and it helps tremendously. Also I don’t go away without my girls a lot so we don’t have to do this often.

Gwen: Yes communication is key! We FaceTime about four times a day when he’s gone. But he’s right a lot of the time we go with him. Like if he is filming something or shooting something Vivienne and I will go with but not go to the set until he tells me he’s almost wrapped up for the day then we go over and get to see him do his thing for a bit witch is always fun.

Harry: I just do better when I know my girls are close by. I know that makes me sound so odd but really I’ve said it so many times but I don’t enjoy myself when I don’t have Gwen around and Vivienne well she just lights up my world.

Gwen: Like nobody else?

Harry: Was that a One Direction lyric quote lovey? You do listen!

Gwen: I told you I listen with Vivienne so she can hear her dad in his younger years.

Q: Is there anything you’d like to say to the fans?

Gwen: Thank you for loving my honeybuns and I so much. We adore you all so much and are truly grateful for the opportunities we are given because of how much you love us.

Harry: Yes, thank you so much. I have nothing but an endless amount of love for each and every one of you. Thank you.

#harry styles #my little lanky baby #Harry and Gwen #harry styles imagine #harry styles instagram #insta stories #solo harry styles #harry styles drabble #harry styles concept #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles x ofc

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yourmidnightlover · 4 years

Text

ssa hotchner: chapter 2 - one week

TW: threats, language, talking abt abuse/what happened to y/n the night before, mild drinking

WC: 5,116

series masterlist

---------------------------------------------

you woke up to the bright sun peeking in through your window past the hills, shining brightly into your eyes. you sat up, and rubbed your eyes in attempt to wake yourself up even more. you looked over at your clock to see the tie was already half past 6 a.m.

you didn't have to go to work for the first time in what felt like forever. trudging out of bed, you made your way into your bathroom and started the hot water.

the cut on your face looks exponentially better than it did last night. the handprint's swelling on your face had gone down quite a bit, but the bruise on your arm was definitely still there.

you brushed your teeth while you waited on the water to warm up. once the shower was ready, you shed your clothes and hopped inside. you took your time, letting the events of last night try to sink into your mind.

after you finished up, you used a towel to dry your hair a bit and got dressed in some leggings and a large t-shirt. you figured you might as well be comfortable if you didn't have anything else to do.

going back into your living room you decided to read the note that was taped to your gate. you pulled the bin out, followed by the shoe box, followed by the note.

you've been receiving them for close to 7 years now, ever since that high profile case you did for the bau. honestly, there was no telling if the letters were from more than one person. they are all typed and printed out.

at first they were all 'thank yous' for putting away a serial killer, but then came the anniversary of him being in prison... and people got a bit angry. then, people who were grateful for you putting him away forgot about it, as they should since they have lives of their own, and all that was left were the people who were angry.

the people who would wish you were dead. the people who think you should be inside there with the other killers. the people who were upset about you putting their 'true love' away for good. those were the people you were scared of.

the people that knew your address.

the people that sent you death threats.

those were the terrifying ones. the ones that kept you up at night, looking out of your window, trying to see if anyone was truly out there. nobody ever was. logically, you knew that nobody was out there lurking.

but if you told big bro, he would go all fbi on the letters. he would try to figure out who sent them, and send them to jail themselves. you didn't know if they were truly a threat, so what's the point in poking the bear? if they got too terrible, you would tell him. maybe...

you son of a bitch. you should've been his last victim so you wouldn't be here and he would be. you're nothing but a manipulative little bitch.

you don't deserve anything you have handed to you.

go die, bastard.

you folded it back up and placed it in the box, the bin, then pushed it underneath the couch.

were you worried? of course. would you tell anyone? not yet. if your fear became unmanageable, you would let someone know.

the only problem with the notes is that there was no return address. you put up security cameras everywhere around your gate in hopes of catching the culprit(s) on video, but sadly they were able to hack into the cameras you had gotten.

you would check the video footage after you received a note or picture. the time stamp went from 8:54 to 9:03, meaning they probably hacked into it before they got there.

maybe garcia could find whoever hacked into it every night if you needed her to. surely she would be able to work her magic when necessary.

you went into your room to check your phone for any new messages.

a <3: what're you doing for lunch today? feel up to spending time together two days in a row? let me know whenever you can; there's no case today.

you: i don't have any plans at all today, i guess i'll just have to suffer through another lunch with you.

and... sent.

unknown number: hi, y/n. it's spencer. i just wanted to know how're you doing? is the cut on your face okay?

you: hey back genius :) i'm doing pretty well, all things considered. my face is looking much better than it was before i went to bed, thank you for asking.

send.

while waiting for a response, you decided to clean the house a bit. you vacuumed your rugs, washed the dishes in your sink, did your laundry, and that was pretty much all you had to do today. everything done before 10 a.m.

checking your phone, there were two more messages, one from each of the guys.

a <3: great! would you mind just meeting me at the office around 11:30?

you: that's no problem at all. any place in mind?

you checked the other message from spencer.

spencer :) : i'm glad you're doing well, y/n. and to clear things up, your face didn't look bad at all last night, bruise and cut included.

what a little charmer...

you: thanks for the clarity, it's very appreciated. so how've you been since last night? save any other damsels in distress?

you put your phone down and decided to start getting ready. you opted for some blue jeans, high rise, and a lavender halter top. you paired that with some white high-top converse and threw on your gray blazer spencer brought you from last night, after you retrieved it from the dryer.

wearing something so casual, you decided to just wear your natural hair to the office. you did, however, need to cover the remnants of your adventure last night so aaron wouldn't be upset upon seeing something.

you used some good ol' color corrector, concealer, a bit of foundation, and some powder to cover the bruises and fail to disguise the cut. then again, there's not much that can be done to cover that up.

you checked the time on your phone, 10:53, and saw two more message notifications.

a <3: i was thinking about ordering some mexican food to the office so we could just stay there.

you: i'm good with anything, so that sounds great! i'll see you soon.

you sent the message and hopped over to the one spencer had sent you.

spencer :) : sadly, no other damsels. although i suppose that could be considered a good thing to most. oh! and if you were wondering, i got your number from garcia. i wasn't stalking you or anything, no worries.

you: yes, i'm glad i was the only damsel in need of saving last night. also, if i were to find out you had been stalking me, i don't think i'd be afraid. in fact, i'd probably be more flattered that THE dr. spencer reid would consider me stalk-worthy.

was it flirtatious? yes. would it make him flustered? probably. would i enjoy being the person that flustered him? absolutely.

sent.

you got into your car and began the journey to quantico. the drive isn't very long, only about twenty minutes. you hopped out of the car, and made your way to the front desk to check in. looking over your shoulder, you saw none other than spencer reid walking up to you before the woman gave you your visitor's badge.

"hi there, damsel," spencer smiled as he greeted you. you walked closer to him after thanking the lady.

"hey, hero," you laughed as you both got closer. "is it too soon to hug you?"

"oh, uhm... not at all. i was actually-yes. i do want to- i'm just gonna..." he stuttered as he opened his arms for you to snuggle into.

"i like your hugs," you surprisingly announced.

"th-thank you," he smiled as he rested his chin on your head, secretly enjoying the coconutty scent that wafted off your hair into his nose.

"yea this is gonna be the new greeting tactic for us. just saying," you huffed into his chest.

"i wouldn't mind that at all," he laughed before you pulled back from his embrace, giving his shoulders a little squeeze before relinquishing all contact.

"okay, i'm here to see aaron. i'm assuming he's in his office, like always?" you rose one eyebrow in question before feeling a hand on your shoulder, turning to see aaron.

"i'm not always in my office," he rebutted as he embraced you in his arms. "how are you?" he asked nicely.

"i'm good! i hope you aren't overworking yourself like you usually tend to do," you voiced into his chest. he pulled back, not releasing your shoulders but looking deeply at your face.

"what's that?" he pointed to your cheekbone, his brows furrowing in concentration.

"oh, pshh. it's nothing," you shrugged as you waved his hand off, noticing spencer behind aaron with a look on his face that suggested you tell your brother what it was.

"y/n. what happened?" he pushed, giving you his 'brother' look.

"fine," you huffed. "i was gonna have to explain it eventually," you rolled your eyes. "last night before i left, ron got a bit handsy. before he did too much, spencer showed up to return my jacket. things got out of hand, ron might've slapped me, spencer might've pushed him against a wall, all's well that ends well," you grinned in hopes that he wouldn't have understood a word you just uttered.

"ron slapped you?" he asked in disbelief, his face still showing no emotion as per usual.

"yea, but spencer stopped him before he got to do anything else. oh! i don't have a job at all anymore, so i'm free for the next two weeks," you pressed your lips together.

"reid was there?" he turned to face spencer, who's face looked like a deer in the headlights.

"yup. i don't know what would've happened if he didn't show up. i really owe him, aaron," you said, trying to calm your brother down from the edge he was not-so-clearly teetering on.

"well, reid. uhh, thank you. and y/n. you should've told me this the second it happened," he ordered, looking at you shooting daggers.

"sir, yes, sir," you nodded off. "i'm sorry i didn't tell you. i just knew you'd be upset and i figured since everything's okay now that it wasn't important," you shrugged, trying to diffuse the situation.

"it is important. it will always be important because you're important to me," he emphasized before taking a deep breath. "as long as you'll tell me next time i think i'll be okay."

"great! now when's the food supposed to get here because... food," you excitedly asked as you followed aaron as he turned to go to his office.

"it'll be here in about 10 more minutes," he announced as he motioned for her to sit beside him in the chairs in front of his desk. "so... what's the full story of what happened?"

"are we really gonna talk about that right now?" you huffed, clearly over the situation from last night.

"yes. we are. harassment is a serious issue that should be dealt with accordingly. you know that, y/n," he reasoned, propping his arm on his desk as he looked at you with his stern face.

"i do know that. i also know that he only ever did that to me. he has a wife and two kids; he'd never do anything to put them in jeopardy," you announced, trying to convince aaron not to press the issue any further.

"but he would be willing to risk a law suit from you because of what happened?" he questioned in defiance, not accepting the ask to drop it.

"i wouldn't give him a law suit, aaron. you know that," you remarked, leaning in towards him slightly.

"you should. logically, you should sue him for hitting you. and i'm assuming for whatever else he's done to you in the past," he corrected you.

"how do you know he's done anything in the past?" you questioned, aaron nodding his head to the side. "right. profiler," you sighed. "look, he used to call me names i'm uncomfortable with, but now i won't have to deal with him. i don't work there anymore and never will again."

"you may not work there, but what if another woman starts working in the office? who's to say he won't harass them as well?" you looked down into your lap, fondling your fingers in avoidance. "look, i'm not trying to be rude about it. i just don't like seeing you hurt, and to know that the guy who hurt you isn't getting anything done to him is ludicrous."

"i know. you've always looked out for me since we were kids, but i'm not a kid anymore. i'm a grown woman and can take care of my own business when i need to," you replied softly, placing your hand over top aaron's in comfort. "but thank you, for always caring. i know you do it because you love me, even though you don't say it often," you laughed, trying to bring some light hearted-ness to the situation.

"i do..." he nodded along. "love you, that is," he added with a rare smile.

aaron has always been there for you. ever since you were kids, because of you dad he would take the role of protector for both you, sean, and your mom.

because of his role of 'protector,' he has this external shell that he feels as though he can't shed. in his mind, if he sheds it he's not able to mask his feelings, leaving not only himself but also those he protects vulnerable.

"i love you too, a.," you smiled back, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it from your grip. aaron took his phone and checked the time.

"the food's here now," he announced as he went to go pick it up from the front desk.

when he returned he gave you the food and you began to eat together, him telling you the latest garcia story that got quite the kick out of you until his attention went elsewhere.

"... so...?" aaron asked sneakily, a sly grin appearing on his face.

"... so what?" you furrowed your brows in question as you took a sip of your drink.

"you and reid, huh?" he widened his eyes in suspicion.

"what about me and reid?" you wanted to press him further, even though you knew exactly what he meant.

"that's exactly what i would like to know. what's going on with you and reid?" he finalized, pointing his fork accusingly at you.

"nothings going on with me and spencer," you raised your hands in defense. "i just drove him home after he intervened in the... situation, last night so i made sure to thank him. he texted me earlier today to ask me how i was holding up after yesterday evening- like a gentleman," you pointed out, raising your eyebrows to establish some sort of dominance you knew you didn't have over your brother.

"right," he said in a sing-song voice, you rolled your eyes at his tone.

"shut up," you scoffed as you threw away each of yours' trash. "so, i think it's time for me to go," you smiled as you turned to face aaron from the doorway.

"ahh, right," he sighed with a small grin. "i actually talked to strauss about getting you onto the team," he raised his eyebrows.

"did you, now?" you smirked. "what'd she say about it?"

"she said that you'd need to fill out an application, and that if you were to be hired there'd be a trial run first to see if everything would work out smoothly," he announced happily.

"really? so there's a chance i could work here?!" you squealed, rubbing your lips into a tight line from the excitement.

"a pretty good one, at that. i actually have an application right," he reached over his desk to retrieve a couple pages stapled together, "here," he smiled, handing you the application forms.

"oh my gosh!" you shouted, throwing your arms over your brother's stomach and squeezing him tightly. "this is so exciting! do you think i'm actually qualified?" you asked, pulling back from his embrace.

"are you kidding? of course you are?" he asked incredulously. "just fill those out, return them to strauss, and i'm sure she'll review them quickly," he nodded.

"right. i'll get going now," you smiled widely. "thank you, a. thank you so much," you said, giving him one last hug before you whooshed out of the door, papers in hand.

you walked down the stairs and out of the glass doors towards the elevator. the doors started to close after you pressed the 'lobby' button, but there was a brown satchel stuffed between them to stop the from closing right before they shut. once thy opened back up, you noticed who the bag belonged to.

"hey, spencer," you smiled, scooting over in the elevator to make more room for him.

"hey, y/n. how was your lunch?" he asked, returning your smile.

"it was pretty good. aaron gave me an application for the bau, which is very exciting," you bit back a wide grin.

"really?" he asked happily, his eyebrows raised, you nodded in return. "that's so great!" he said cheerily, wrapping his arms around your waist an lifting you off the elevator floor as the two of you giggled together.

"i know! if i'm being honest, i'm a bit nervous about it, y'know?" you said as he placed you back onto your feet, your hands still on his biceps.

"why? we already know you'll fit in well and do great. what's making you nervous?" he asked, his head tilting slightly as he looked at you with a confused expression.

"i don't know..." you started. "i guess since i've only worked at one job, doing one thing, moving nowhere, staying stagnant, i just don't know anything else," you shrugged.

"it's actually incredibly normal to feel nervous about a new job. over 80% of working professionals feel nervous or anxious when starting a new job," he clarified as the elevator doors opened, you both walking out together. "think of it this way: you know the material, you're more than qualified, you know everyone you'd be working with, and you're passionate about what you'll be doing. there's no doubt that you'll do amazing," he encouraged as you continued the walk to your car.

"thank you. at least i know i'm not the only one that gets this way," you sighed. "so why'd you walk all the way out here?" you giggled. "don't you still have work?"

"uhh, yes. i-i do have to work. i just f-figured- i just wanted to uh, talk to you?" he stuttered out, clearly not realizing how charming it was.

"well, thank you, spencer. i really enjoy our little chats," you nodded as you unlocked your car. "thanks for walking me out. i'll see you?" you asked.

"yea, yes. i will uhm, see you later. goodbye, y/n," he smiled gorgeously.

"see you later, spencer," you grinned back as you closed your door and began to drive off after buckling up.

halfway home, you got a call from someone. you pressed the bluetooth answer button on your radio to answer.

"hello?" you replied, readjusting your hands on your wheel.

"y/n hotchner. i can't believe you were at the office and didn't even bother to say hi to me!" emily's voice rang through the speakers.

"emily! hello to you too," you giggled.

"you even said hi to reid! but not me?" she shouted. "what gives?"

"sorry, i just kinda ran into him, i guess. well, he ran into me," you corrected yourself.

"what does that mean?"

"well, he kinda stopped me while i was in the elevator so he could talk to me. he's such a good friend," you complimented.

"only friend?" emily asked suggestively.

"yes, em. only friends," you laughed at the insinuation.

while it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to be more than friends with him, it certainly wasn't the right time for a serious relationship in your life yet.

"righhtt... anyway, that's not the only reason i called you," she stated.

"and why did you do that?" you asked as you turned onto the highway, a straight shot to the street with your house on it.

"i wanted to know if you'd like to come with us to a bar after we get off of work tonight?" she asked.

"hmm... who's 'we'?"

"well there's me, morgan, garcia, and you if you'll come?"

"sure, it sounds fun," you agreed. "besides, not like i have anything to do with no job and all," you laughed out.

"great! now we could probably convince reid to come now that you're going!" she exclaimed.

"jeez, em," you huffed as you rolled your eyes and turned onto your street.

"you know it's true. morgan's already teasing him about it and everything," she snorted out over the phone.

"oh poor spencer..." you grimaced as you thought about the relentless teases.

"yea, yea, yea. but you're coming, and there's no backing out! i'll just pick you up before i head to the bar. be ready at 8, ma'am. dress hot, please, garcia and i already agreed to it," she demanded.

"yes ma'am, sounds good," you nodded even though she can't see you.

"alright, love you, bye," she said, holding out the 'e'.

"love you too, bye," you said as she hung up the phone, finally turning into your driveway to be met with your gate.

you entered the code and the gate opened, allowing you to drive half a mile up to your house. you had always wanted a nice, big house as a child. the kind that people had in movies, and everyone looked at online. you signed a lease for this house a while back, and got an amazing deal on it sense you knew who owned it previously.

unlocking your door, you walked into your house with the papers in hand. you walked into your dining room and started filling the papers out easily. it was only 1 p.m., so you had a while before you had to start getting ready for going out with them tonight.

*******

you threw on a maroon colored corduroy skirt, tucking in your spaghetti strap, black tank top. adding some black heeled booties, you added a few silver pieces of jewelry.

after adding some mascara, lip gloss, and a bit more powder you felt like you were ready to walk out of the door. you did a few spritzes of perfume before grabbing your black crossbody purse, letting it hang on one shoulder before grabbing your black denim jacket, dashing out of the door to emily's car.

"hey em," you said as you swung the door open, crawling not-so-gracefully inside.

"hey there," she said as she examined what you were wearing. "i seriously did my makeup for half an hour and you come out looking like that? it should be illegal to look that hot, y/n," she rolled her eyes with a huff.

"are you kidding me?" you replied, looking over to see what she was wearing herself.

she had on a short, black dress that had a low neckline, allowing tasteful cleavage to show through. she wore that with some red pumps to match her lipstick and some shimmery eyeshadow.

"okay, you can't say that. you look hot, em! don't sell yourself short," you punched her arm playfully.

"yea, yea, yea," she said, beginning to drive out of your driveway.

once you arrived to the bar, it looked like it was almost full. the music was loud, and you could feel the base through your feet on the floor. it took you about a minute until you could find the others, derek, pen, and spencer, sitting at a booth in the corner of the bar.

because of how crowded it was, you sat across from penny and derek and in between spencer and emily. you were practically on top of spencer because of how small the seats were, the poor guy.

"damn, you look great, y/n," derek gushed before looking at spencer with a smirk. "don't you think, pretty boy?" he laughed out, earning a jab from penny in the stomach.

"play nice, derek," she scolded him. "but you do look great, y/n. your legs look amazeballs in that outfit... like wow," she exaggerated.

"oh, shush," you blushed. "i'm kinda hungry... you guys?" you asked them.

"i could go for some cheese sticks," emily replied.

"i ate before we came here," spencer replied with a smile, leaning into your ear a little bit to answer.

"so cheese sticks and... cheese fries? i adore cheese fries," penny added.

"i'm okay with whatever. i'll go order," you said as emily got up to let you out.

"i'll help," spencer added as he scooted out with you.

"great, any drink requests?" you asked, pointing out to all three others.

"jack and coke," emily requested.

"anything fruity they have!" pen told you.

"whiskey, on the rocks," derek said with a smile.

"you've got it," you said as you turned around, realizing how crowded it was as you tried to weave through the first few people in your way.

you felt a hand grip yours firmly, turning to see it was spencer's hand you felt a sigh of relief wash over you. he leant down to your ear to talk to you, so you leaned a bit closer to him.

"i'm gonna put my arm around your waist so we can get through easier. is that okay?" he asked. his breath on your neck and ear almost distracted you from the question.

"y-yea. that's uhm... that's okay," you nodded your head as you felt his arm snake around your waist, pulling you closer to his side.

you moved one of your arms around his torso in return, squeezing yourself further into your side so you could avoid bumping into as many people. you could smell his sweet cologne, and the smell of what seemed to be coffee and old books. the warmth of his entire being was undeniable, drawing you closer to his presence.

eventually when you made it to the bar, you both kept your arms around the other. after ordering the food and drinks, you finally pulled your arm back, but stayed just as close to him.

"have you filled the application out yet?" spencer asked sweetly, leaning into your body.

"yea, i finished them just before i got ready to come here, actually," you nodded your head with a smile. "i guess you could say i'm a bit eager to start working."

"i think that's a good thing," he smiled brightly.

"oh, it definitely is!" you agreed. "i'm just so bored at the house. i've only been gone for a day and i need something to do, y'know?" you shrugged.

"busybody?" he questioned.

"oh you have no idea," you laughed, pushing his shoulder back playfully.

"i guess it runs in the family. hotch is always working on something as well," he mentioned. "so working at the bau would be a great fit for you both."

"yea, i sure hope so," you said longingly. "so what else do you do for fun... besides reading and working, of course," you asked.

"uhmm, i enjoy magic, i guess," he expressed.

"really?" you perked up, straightening out your posture at what he revealed.

"yea. i know a few little party tricks. wanna see?" spencer proposed, you nodded eagerly. "okay," he licked his lips as he began digging into his pocket and pulled out a $20 bill, also getting a pen. "watch..." he said as he jabbed the green paper with the pen.

"okay?" you squinted your eyebrows at what he was doing, unsure of where this trick was leading.

he then started to drag the paper around the pen, not tearing the bill at all. you felt your jaw drop in awe as he continued playing with it. then, he drug the pen all the way out of the bill, not a hole in sight. he made the bill disappear, leaving you stunned.

"what? how did you-? where did it-?" you stuttered, looking at him accusingly.

he reached around your hair, behind your ear and pulled out the same twenty dollar bill as earlier, a smug look on his face as he did so.

"okay... wow." you said as you began slow-clapping in awe. "i'm thoroughly impressed, spencer."

"thanks," he smiled shyly as he tucked the bill back into his pocket. "i've been doing magic since i was a kid. it's one of my hobbies when i'm we're not trying to catch serial killers," he shrugged.

"i'd say you've picked a good hobby," you chuckled. "i bet kids love it when you do them, huh?"

"yea, it's quite the entertainment for children," he nodded. "i love their reaction to it. it just makes me happy that i can bring a smile to their face."

"that, spencer, is fascinating," you complimented as the bartender handed you the drinks and spencer the food to take back to the table.

walking back was much easier than your journey to the bar, people actually making way for others with their hands full of refreshments. at least some people still had their manners.

"okay guys," you addressed as you began passing out the drinks, "here is your whiskey, jack and coke, and a tequila sunrise for pen."

"ouuu! i like the sound of that!" penny cheered as she took a sip of the drink, her eyes widening with delight.

"thank you, ma'am," derek thanked as he took a sip of his drink.

"absolutely perfect, y/n," emily relished in her beverage.

the rest of the night was fun. you laughed, joked, and danced with the girls. you even got to know spencer a bit more, much to your liking.

the next day you turned in your application, and was surprised when you got the job on the spot. you would begin your trial run in one week.

and you couldn't believe how fast that week went by, because as soon as you blinked, you were in the bullpen of the bau at your very own desk.

#spencer x reader #spencer x you #spencer reid #y/n #agent hotchner #y/n hotchner #ssa hotchner #criminal minds #aaron hotchner

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mi6-cafe · 4 years

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Fuck Yeah Friday: Dr. Madeleine Swann

The one Craig-era character the fandom loves to hate.

Probably not what you might have expected to come of this new segment we’re trying out, Fuck Yeah Friday, right? After all, who wants to celebrate Madeleine Swann?

Well, I (Christine) kind of do. I want to celebrate what little bits of her I enjoyed and mourn the lost potential. (THERE WAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL!!!!)

Because let me tell you, guys: Dr. Madeleine Swann could have been great.

She is smart.

- Would have to be, right? You don’t get credentials like hers without brains and determination. (Sorbonne, Oxford, Medecins sans frontiers , the exclusive Hoffler Klinik wouldn’t take but the very best)

But do we see her use her brain in the movie? Beyond the initial interview with Bond? No, we don’t. Poor Madeleine gets to accompany James Bond to a hotel room in Morocco, show off her gun handling, fight off a goon on a train and then stand and look increasingly lost and desperate in Blofeld’s lair and all the way to London to Blofeld’s trap. Grrrr.

She is brave and self-confident.

- We actually do get to see glimpses of it in the movie. (Miracle of miracles!) She doesn’t take any of Bond’s shit, even when she doesn’t know for a large part of the movie that he won’t just turn around and murder her. She’s ready to disappear and start a new life, when she leaves the MI6 squad in London.

She is really interesting.

- Come on, guys! I want to know more! Don’t you want to know more? This is a woman who grew up with an assassin for a father. I want to know about her childhood. She seems well-adjusted, right? (at the start at least) What was her mother like? (Did her mother know about all the assassinating dear hubby did?) Could her mother still be alive? If she’s not, did Madeleine cut off contact with her father and got where she is all on her own without any contacts or help? Did she enjoy her work at the Klinik or was Bond right in assuming she was just hiding there? What exactly was her plan after she left Bond and the squad in London before Blofeld kidnapped her?

Now let me share my favourite scene with Madeleine.

The first one. I went and rewatched the Madeleine SPECTRE scenes to prepare for writing this thing and it was then, that I smelled the potential, when I made myself forget just how altogether useless and bland Madeleine came out of the movie.

Just look: (this video also contains the scene with Q in the bar, if you stick it out past the halfway point, hint hint)

youtube

She is completely in control of the situation and herself. Very professional, even when Bond goes: “Drool-drool. I didn’t notice the view, I was looking at your titties,” and then once he starts his “I read your CV and I don’t approve of your choices, tut, tut” bit. In fact, you can see she senses something is wrong and catches on to why Bond is there pretty fast. You have to wonder at her absolute confidence that she won’t get murdered by Bond as she throws him out of his office. I mean, I didn’t notice any weapons? Did you? And that quiet moment of vulnerability by the door? Lovely.

Now if only she had, at that moment, taken out a pen and paper, written out an address for the hotel and ran for the hills. (I want to see a version of Spectre where Madeleine does this and is then chased by Bond and Spectre henchmen, who each have problems with a) catching up with her b) explaining why exactly they need her for their plans. )

Alas, poor Madeleine.

Still, her choices up until after the train can make sense if you look at them from her perspective.

She stays with Bond and leads him to L’Americaine. Could she have just told him where to find it? Yup. But maybe she’s choosing the lesser evil; Blofeld might send more men after her. (Though, why, exactly, do they need her?) And maybe she doesn’t think Bond would let her leave.

To be honest, why she keeps on travelling with Bond after that is still a mystery. But ok, she does. (It would make sense if she was a villain. So much more of Spectre would make sense if she was a villain.) She helps him in the train, why wouldn’t she? (Would have been cool, if she hadn’t and had turned out to be a villain.) She doesn’t want to die. And then she sleeps with him. Which... 🤷‍♀️ adrenaline? working off energy? Bond isn’t exactly hideous? (Bee tee dubs, this wouldn’t have happened if she was a villain, because Bond would have been carried off to Blofeld without there being any need to have them stand and wait for a car to show up and then have 007 voluntarily give up his gun and let himself be led into super-villainous super-lair and-)

But then we come to her hugging Bond’s head (after the famous drilling) going: “I LOOOOOVE YOU.” where we have to pause and say: “You do? Since when?”

And the rest, is history.

Now, I have no idea what exactly the writers will try to do with Madeleine in NTTD. Let’s hope they give us and her something more to do than just having her be dragged from place to place, before she gets to sit on a chair and watch a relative stranger get his head drilled, or sit on a chair and wait until she blows up.

#Fuck Yeah Friday #Madeleine Swann #james bond meta #spectre meta

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peacocks-gotta-fly · 4 years

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Let’s Take a Trip...

So lately I’ve gotten on this nostalgia kick, especially when it come to anime. I can’t say that I’ve outgrown anime, but I can say that some time around 2009 it started becoming less and less of a major part of my life.

But for the past week or so I’ve had a real desire to revisit some of my old favorites. So come with me and you’ll see a world of imagination...

(Be aware I will be posting spoilers for these series since this is just random thoughts and musings upon re-watching.)

Princess Tutu

Okay, bear with me. It looks like a really cutesy anime AND IT IS!! It’s a magical girl where a duck (yes an actual duck) receives a special pendant and is not only able to become a girl, but transforms into a prima ballerina named Princess Tutu. Why you may ask? Because she saw Mytho, a mysterious and handsome boy whose eyes “look so lonesome” and wants to give him back his smile.

Why do I love this anime, even to this day?

BECAUSE OF THESE TWO MOTHERFUCKERS RIGHT HERE!!!!!

Fakiru is my OTP to end all OTPs. This is the hill I will die on, end point. And trust me, it was a journey to get there. Fakir is a dick at the beginning of the series with a capital D. But he also realizes that he’s abusive and it hurts the people he loves the most, so not only does he stop, but he also changes his behavior and Duck is a big part of that. This whole series is a balm to my shipper heart, THOUGH WE WERE ROBBED OF A THIRD SEASON!!

Kaleido Star: New Wings

Cirque du Soleil but anime. Fun fact: I’ve never seen the first season and I have no plans to. The first two episodes of the second season do a great job of summarizing season one and from that assessment, I have concluded that I don’t want to watch it. Layla would piss me the fuck off, and there are times when Sora’s optimism makes my teeth hurt, but I love this series. It’s so pretty and the stunts are ridiculous by real world standards but you can’t help but be amazed by them regardless. It is delightful!!

Also...

My shipper heart has clearly been ruling my viewing choices for a while since I love my rare pair, Sora x Leon!! Leon has a redemption arc in this series too (not quite as satisfying as Fakir but we can’t win them all), and Sora has a big hand in it. (People will say that Leon views her an awful lot in relation to Sophie, his sister and yeah he kind of does, but considering how many of y’all on here are all about that ‘daddy’ horseshit, you can just bibbity bobbity back the fuck up off my dick on this one.) Anyway, still ship it!!

Tiger & Bunny

Yup, this one still stands up!! Sponsored heroes saving the city to rack up points, what’s not to love?! And the computer generation...not great but it still stands up pretty well. (Also, would I still fuck with Bunny...yeah. Yeah I would. Like, it sure is gay, but I’d still fuck with Bunny.) Apparently, they’re coming out with season 2 in 2022 for some reason, so there’s that to look forward to. Never saw the movie. I might. There’s apparently great character development for Fire Emblem.

Also, can I just say...

Name me a more stressful week during any anime, I dare you. I remember refreshing my page when episode 25 came out because I JUST NEEDED TO KNOW!!!

And finally,

Oban Star Racers

God, this...This is 2006-07 guys. My age is showing. It aired on Jetix/Disney XD. Intergalactic space race, literally. But it still holds up. The animation AND the computer animation. It still looks so good. Great characters, good story. Just...do yourselves a favor and check it out.

It’s also made me go back and re-read my old fanfiction. It’s not great though there are some good parts to it. It makes me want to re-write it. I probably will. I definitely will, this time much better and less OOC. And I don’t have to give a rat’s ass about Mary Sues!!!

(Also, DEFINITELY still fucks with that. I thought I wouldn’t, but a re-watch fuckin’ proved me wrong!! And I mean Rick Thunderbolt you weird perverts!)

#anime #princess tutu #fakiru #kaleido star #kaleido star: new wings #sora x leon #tiger and bunny #tiger & bunny #oban star racers #otp

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akimmito · 4 years

Text

Heroes are made by the path they choose

First | Previous | AO3 | Next

Master List

Chapter 14

Silent Hill: Something happened, I'll take someone over for Marie to judge

Needle: Ah, what was missing

It’s a Nara: Don't sleep, there is an Akuma

It’s a Nara: Who is Available?

Almost Pretty: This Akuma itself is causing disaster

Needle: There goes the national library

It's a Nara: Who is Available?

Perfect Crime: We are at the airport, we can escape to the bathroom. Just tell us, Kanté

It’s a Nara: Perfect

Aithusa: I'm ready, Max.

Wild goat: I'll go! I'm available

Olive: You have communications, don't be ridiculous

Almost Pretty: I can't escape the Bourbon Palace for this, we are being evacuated to the basement

------

Ateliade, Jade Shield, LadyNoir and Rakkīgāru are on the ruins of the national library, the last place that al Akuma ruthlessly destroyed. Observing the damage and trying to understand how he did it, the cameras failed to capture the attack, they just watched as the building collapsed on its own. A troublesome situation.

"Rakkīgāru, use the Lucky Charm."

Kagami obeys immediately, the Lucky Charm delivers a candle similar to the ones she has placed in the meditation room. The four heroes look at the object with curiosity, its function is totally unknown to them, but somehow they understand that what they need at the moment is in the MT.

"We need a more thorough evaluation. Mures?"

"Yes, LadyNoir?"

"Come here, we will use the mouse to try to identify your abilities from all possible angles. "

"Ok."

"Maybe that's what the Lucky Charm was referring to." Ateliade offers her opinion on this, looking at the candle. After all, Marc is on the MT, but neither Kagami nor Marinette feel that is the case. Surely they will need the specific abilities of some Kwami that is not being used, their instincts are screaming at them.

Before long, Mures appears in all his nervous figure. It's the first time that he will go out into the field like the mouse, he's more used to his vigilante suit, but he's confident that everything will turn out well.

"Let's follow the Akuma."

At Jade Shield's words, the five heroes move to follow the Akuma's trail of destruction. When they see the purple Dolphin flying over The Turkish Consulate General and they are suddenly aware that they are now in District XVII where most Embassies and Consulates are. That could be a problem if it reaches international ears, endangering citizens of other countries. They can already hear Chloe yelling at them for speeding up, they don't want anyone from outside sticking their noses into something they don't understand.

"Multitude. "Marc activates its power and divides himself into five copies of himself, remaining in a size similar to that of a child. Each duplicate goes in different directions, each hero follows a different one while the main one remains in place to serve as backup.

Marc can see from their different perspectives the way power works, there is no way they can get closer without perishing like buildings. The others don't fully understand him, but he does.

The Akuma seems to detonate its powers through a form of echo location, similar to what bats do, only instead of just directing it around the place, it also causes perfectly directed destruction, if they get close they will be hit and probably killed. It's inconspicuous from the directions you see, but it's enough.

If there was ever any doubt that the new villain wanted them dead, this new Akuma victim is proof that this is the case.

"We need one of two, someone who can demonstrate directly in front of the Akuma or someone in armor to withstand the impact of the echo location."

"Is that?"

"It's the closest I could discern."

"We need Tunin." Kagami suggests, it's better not to trust again and the Dragon's abilities are easily used over long distances, they wouldn't even be exposing the child.

"Yes…"

"It's done. Equuleus, bring Tunin to the field. ”Felix smiles, sure Damian will be ecstatic with the news. Since the first attack Akuma has wanted to leave and although there have only been two before that, they had not wanted to risk it yet.

Quickly, the boy appears next to LadyNoir and when he sees his mother, he feels guilty. Running away to find Constantine doesn't count as betraying her trust, does it? He may think that even she should have considered it, although perhaps what should bothers her is that he blackmailed Plagg.

"Something happens?"Marinette asks her little boy, who doesn't seem fully prepared, although his amber eyes seem to reflect something else.

"No mother. What should I do?"

"Can you simulate a storm, baby dragon?" Ateliade questions, if they can confuse the echo location (as Mures calls it) she can release her power and allow them to attack to obtain the Akumatized item, although it cannot be seen which one. Guessing is not much fun.

"Something happens?"Marinette asks her little boy, who doesn't seem fully prepared, although his amber eyes seem to reflect something else.

"No mother. What should I do?"

"Yes, two of the abilities are combined. It's harder, but if I just have to do that, it'll be fine.”He says with conviction.

Jade Shield moves to take people out of the Akuma's path, who cannot fully escape. Rakkīgāru unites to help, as long as they are not sure that their little plan works, they should avoid casualties as best they can.

Damian draws his sword and begins to move in parallel with the Akuma, at a good distance while concentrating on the two abilities he wants to activate at the same time. He can do it only because he's stubborn and his mother was helping him with every step, he wanted to be able to be a real help to fight alongside miraculous adult users and for that he needed to make an effort. As he tries to muster his energies for that, he better understands why his mother insisted so much that not yet, but done or not, it's his time.

"Tunin! Now or never."

He growls at Ateliade's words, but activates his powers.

"Dragon of Air and Lightning. "

Damian disappears to make way for a thick black cloud of storm that spreads around the Akuma, the lightning moves through the clouds and attacks the Violet Dolphin, which he barely dodges due to the interferences that the sound makes in his abilities... In addition to the poor vision that it has is frustrated by the intense light intervals that the rushing rays generate.

It really is a storm.

-----

Bruce Wayne is Batman

I can jump from eighth floor and survive: Paris has strange creatures.

Hell rejected me: What kind of strange creatures? Metas?

I can jump from eight floor and survive: No... it's a bat-winged dolphin that destroys everything in its path. And there are the heroes they mentioned!

I'll rest when I die: Is it real?

I can read your mind with a single glance: Are they the heroes and not the vigilantes?

I can ump from eight floor and survive: Yup, it's the heroes. Although they are still while talking.

I’m not Batman: I want a report.

I'll rest when I die: Your interest in our safety is flattering

-----

"Oh God! The boy just turned into a storm! How?! Where's the point in all of this?!"Dick almost has the jaw in the ground when seeing how the hero boy vanishes in a black cloud that begins to flash and cover the strange creature.

Everything is being televised with drones, according to the presenter. It also features the new hero, who is registered as part of the Team.

"Tunin is the current owner of the Miraculous Dragon, it was entered into the official register two months ago. His abilities are much more polished than previous Miraculous user Ryukko, demonstrating much more training. Despite his young age in relation to other heroes, we can be sure that he's trustworthy. He has already demonstrated this by displaying new skills and a great mastery of his powers. "

Tim watches with too worrying ease, still holding his cup of coffee, but he seems to pay little attention to what the newscaster has said.

He doesn't blame him, the situation seems to come out of a dream, with the same little sense.

He doesn't lose attention to what happens, they are far enough so that what happens is only barely visible through the window, but the view from the drone is very accurate. Soon another hero, the presenter calls her Ateliade, activates another power and a dragon stuffed toy falls into her hands, she and LadyNoir (the leader, according to what they said) put themselves in position taking advantage of the fact that the Akuma is too busy dealing with the cloud storm.

"It seems we managed to capture Rakkīgāru and Jade Shield as well, helping civilians to get out of the Akuma's path." Indeed, the two heroes move through the streets picking up people from the probable routes of the Giant Dolphin. "Mures remains on the sidelines, he seems to be fulfilling the role of watchman. Like Tunin, it's his first appearance. He has been registered as an official part of the team for six years, he's the second user of the Miraculous Mouse, after Multimouse with a single appearance ten years ago. "

Dick is surprised to learn that information, ten years ago? Since when is Paris dealing with this villain? Maybe he should go to the prosecution and the KanTech offices to find out the information required to know the matter.

"Dick..."

"Hmm?"

"Am I dreaming?"

"No."

"I'll leave the caffeine." Tim puts the cup on the table in front of him and takes his computer to start investigating, having his location in Paris, the information about the Akuma begin to appear. "Eleven years ago Hawkmoth first appeared and with him two heroes: Ladybug and Chat Noir. As time went by more heroes appeared and rotated, before Gabriel Agreste was arrested for being Hawkmoth, Paris was left alone with three heroes: Ladybug, Chat Noir and Vulpes. Chat Noir turned out to be the son of the villain, who was devastated and gave up being a hero... "

"What?" Dick stops watching television, missing the exact moment the Akuma goes crazy and its echo location loses the destructive effect because he can't focus enough for it.

"This is a summary of what happened seven years ago. The Butterfly Miraculous was stolen by the killer of Nathalie Sancour, the previous user of the Peacock. That Miraculous returned to the hands of Ladybug... Graham de Vanely spearheaded the lawsuit against Gabriel Agreste and Adrien was forced to marry Lila Rossi to keep his mother alive, as the heroes investigate a cure for the magical coma..."

"How did they manage to hide ALL THAT from the world?"

"Magic." Tim growls, that's the main reason, then with the joint efforts of different government bodies they became self-sufficient in it, making laws that allowed Parisian heroes and vigilantes to run freely making them an official identity within the country, but without being linked to it. How did it evolve to that point? Not even in the United States, with the acceptance of the heroes in the country, have they managed to do something like this... Will the French be more intelligent or are they much more paranoid? Because there is a complete security protocol so that the information does not come out.

They are so in jail just for mentioning all that to their family.

"We can't give that report to B... or come out as Robin and Nightwing."

"Should we register?" "Tim nods, but as far as he knows, only the MT can register heroes or vigilantes and for that they would need to contact them and give a good excuse for their visit." Everything is very well detailed, the theme of the vigilantes is not super secret like heroes. It's illegal to mention them on social networks outside the jurisdiction of France and word of mouth would not be credible because there is no information available. "

"Rakkigaru launches the cure!" The television distracts them again and they are surprised, again, to see how all the damage begins to repair itself and return to its original state.

"W-What…?

"It's one of the Miraculous Ladybug powers... it's one of the few skills that are publicly known and accurately described. The rest appear as: doubtful or not precise. "

"Do you think they are handling it well?"

"Yes... according to what Felix Graham de Vanely said, half of the evidence he presented was offered by the heroes of Paris and was, precisely, the most incriminating. Seven years have passed and they have the support of the MT, which have cleaned up the country's organized crime very well and have followed several very difficult cases that they have managed to manage... They have a more brilliant list of achievements than ours. You know, the Joker escaping Arkham every month is a stain on our record. ”Tim laughs a little when he says it. He would like to know their methods, although he suspects that they must have a network of informants, something that they have not used much because in Gotham it's unlikely to find trustworthy people, only Jason got several informants, but they have not reached more than that.

"Then let's just say hello."

"And let's seek to join that information network."

Tim sets that goal, to be part of that vigilant circle to which the MT belongs.

-----

Vivian @ LadyLuck_08

I loved Tunin's debut, will his hair be naturally long?

Leonor @Scar_FullMLeo

Did you see Mures? He's so cute

Ladybug comeback @ LadybugHero_89

It took a round hour to stop the Akuma. New record.

Chloe B. @BourgeoisQueen

Finally! I hate the basement. Who was the smart one who decided that it would be a good Akuma refuge?

#maribat #dickinette #dick x marinette #mominette #ml x dc

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solynaceawrites · 4 years

Text

Wires [5]: Marie Walters

Rating: Mature Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death Categories: F/F, F/M Fandom: Devil May Cry Relationships: Dante/Original Female Character(s), Implied Nero/Kyrie, Implied Vergil/Original Female Character(s), Implied Lady/Trish, Dante/Lirael Thorne, Dante/Lir Characters: Dante, Morrison, Nero, Original Female Character(s), Lirael Thorne, Lir Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Violence, Gore, Dark, Horror, Supernatural Elements, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Serial Killers, Angst, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut Summary: In Red Grave City, a serial killer stalks the streets. Lirael Thorne, recently transferred from Fortuna and looking for an escape from her past, winds up on his trail. Hunting him with her veteran partner, Dante Redgrave, they try to piece together the wires that bind the three of them together. In a race to catch him before he leaves more victims in his wake, the things thought buried will come to the surface, tearing lives and comfort apart.

»»————-　⚜　————-««

“A void in my chest was beginning to fill with anger. Quiet, defeated anger that guaranteed me the right to my hurt, that believed no one could possibly understand that hurt.” —Rachel Sontag

»»————-　⚜　————-««

There’s a particularly gruesome quality to death in the daylight. It’s a stark reminder that everyone will eventually die, a brush with human mortality that leaves those who see it uncomfortable, and the fact that the sun now is hidden by clouds and rain does nothing to lessen the effect. The body is located in an open expanse next to a jogging path, tucked neatly underneath a statue of an angel in prayer; all around the scene, yellow tape is strung from tree to tree to create a barrier that keeps the gathering of curious onlookers at bay, even if does nothing to stop them from craning their necks, their whispers drowned out by the patter of water on leaves and grass. Lir takes in everything else: the blood, the slick, dark asphalt of the trail, the cops in jackets with Forensics emblazoned on the back picking carefully through the debris. So much for good forensics, she thinks bitterly, though he’s never left us much to begin with.

At her side, Dante stands with his hands in his coat pockets, his expression frustrated and thoughtful. “Couldn’t have picked a better day,” he says tightly. “We’ll be lucky to get anythin’ off of her now.”

Lir nods in agreement. Back up at the top of the hill, a cruiser is idling at the curb with an officer standing by the back door and a man seated within, his face drawn and miserable. “Witness?”

“Dunno. We’ll have to ask.” He cranes his neck, then shouts, “Simmons!”

The young officer walks over hesitantly, his wide eyes darting from Dante’s face to the body and back again. Lir remembers how upset he’d been by the first victim and feels a mixture of pity and annoyance; Homicide is always tough on rookies, but if his stomach is truly this weak, he’d be better off in another department. “Yessir?”

Dante gestures to the statue. “You gonna fill us in?”

“Oh! Right. Sorry, sir.” Simmons fumbles a notepad from his belt and flips it open. She notices how he favors his right arm, which is slightly odd looking: like it was broken once and never quite healed correctly, leaving his hand resting a little crooked. He holds the notepad close to his body to keep it safe from the rain, which by now is a soft drizzle. “The call came in forty-five minutes ago. A woman walking her dog heard shouting and what she described as a girl begging, and she thought it was a domestic until someone said, and I quote, ‘I’m going to fucking kill you, you bitch.’ That’s when she phoned 9-1-1.”

It doesn’t sound at all like their killer, and her shoulders tighten with a new frustration. A distraction is the last thing they need now. “Where’s the witness?” Lir asks.

“Officer Galstin is getting her contact information, but I already took her statement,” Simmons responds, not meeting her eyes.

“And the guy in the cruiser?” she prompts.

Simmons glances over his shoulder. “He was here when Officer Galstin and I arrived. There’s blood all over him, and he had a knife on him, but he clammed up as soon as he saw us and tried to run. I caught him,” he adds with a bit of pride, and Lir looks down and notices the mud on the knees of his trousers. “We cuffed him and read him his rights, but he hasn’t said a word so far.”

Dante places his hands on his hips as he surveys the scene. “You rope everything off?”

“Yessir. Put up evidence markers on anything that looked interesting and contacted the M.E., too.”

Lir feels a begrudging speck of respect. “You did good, Simmons. Go see if Galstin is finished with the witness, then take our suspect back to the precinct and get him settled in interrogation.”

“Yes ma’am.” He flushes. “Sir.”

She waves off the mistake, then turns to Dante. “Doesn’t look like this is our guy.”

“Nope.”

“Morrison said it was.”

“That’s my fault,” Simmons interjects. “When I heard there was a killing in the park, I thought . . .”

“That’s alright, Simmons,” Dante says before Lir can think of a way to verbalize her frustration at the false alarm without ripping him a new asshole. “Rookie mistake. From here on out, get your facts before you come to any conclusions. Go help Galstin.”

The youth snaps a salute and hurries off, and Lir lets out a slow sigh. “Fuck,” she mutters.

“Don’t hold it against him,” Dante advises.

“I’m not,” she replies sharply. At his raised brow, she shrugs. “Like you said, rookie mistake. Doesn’t mean I can’t be pissed that someone else is out here killing women, now.”

He snorts. “At least this one was stupid enough to hang around.”

“Yeah.”

Together, they cross the clearing towards the statue and the body beneath. At first look, it’s easy enough to tell that the man who did this is not the same as the one who mutilated Sophie Marsons: this victim is clothed, her knitted scarf knotted around her throat, the front of her white shirt ripped and soaked with blood. Dante lets out a low whistle while Lir leans down, pulling a pair of gloves from her pocket and sliding them on. Trish is standing nearby, talking to a man with a camera, and Lir calls out, “You got your pictures?”

“Yup. Look to your heart’s content, Detective,” Trish replies.

Lir lifts the girl’s arms, first her right, then her left, taking in the deep cuts to her palms and fingers. Then she carefully tugs the scarf to reveal the livid bruises and claw-marks beneath before reaching into the purse on the ground next to the body. Inside is a wallet that she opens, pulling out the driver’s license. “Marie Walters.” Lir rocks back onto her heels. “She fought, and she fought hard. There are defensive wounds on her hands, and the ground is churned like she was kicking.”

Dante nods. “Reads like anger to me.”

“The scarf, though . . .” she murmurs. “Why start with strangulation, then end with stabbing?”

The leaves rustle as he crouches next to her. “You gotta think like a pissed off man, Lir. Look around you. What do you see?”

She bristles at the coaching. “A struggle.”

“Walk me through it.”

“I’m not a rookie, Dante.”

“Humor me.”

Huffing, she pushes herself to her feet and moves from marker to marker, talking as she walks. “They came down from the road. There are skid marks up here, which means one of them slipped in the mud and the other probably kept them from falling. Somewhere around here,” she pauses by a cone next to a tree, “they paused for a bit. There’s a half-smoked cigarette with lipstick on it that matches the shade she’s wearing, so she was either comfortable enough to enjoy a smoke with him or nervous enough that she needed one to calm down.”

“Right.” He stands, shoving his hands in his pockets. “So, somewhere between the cigarette and here is where the argument started. It gets heated, probably somethin’ she says going by what the witness heard. Strangling someone carries a lot of different meanings, but . . .”

“It’s a silencing tactic,” Lir finishes.

“Mm-hm. He didn’t want to hear what she had to say, and didn’t want anyone else to hear it, either. You know how long it takes someone to die from suffocation?”

The casual way he asks the question throws her so that she can’t formulate a reply other than, “No.”

“Five minutes until brain death occurs, if consistent pressure is held.” Dante looks around. “Public park, people walkin’ their dogs, he needs her quiet so no one knows what’s goin’ on. Now, even if you know what you’re doin’, strangling someone with a scarf ain’t easy. They’re in pain, fightin’ back, scratchin’ you and themselves bloody to get you to stop. You lose pressure for a second, the screamin’ starts.”

Lir’s stomach twists, shoving acid up her throat. “He didn’t know that. That’s why, when she wouldn’t stop struggling, he used the knife.”

“That’d be my guess.”

“What a bastard.” She takes off her gloves, shoving them into her pocket. “I say we go talk to the guy Galstin and Simmons pulled in.”

Dante nods in agreement. Together, they climb the rain-slick slope back up to the road, and Lir bemusedly uses the towel he offers to clean mud from her boots before getting into his car. The station is only a few blocks away, but morning rush traffic delays them so that what should have been a ten minute trip winds up taking closer to forty, and in that time Lir’s mind stews. It flips back and forth between Sophie and their newest victim, Marie Walters. Two women, murdered by men, brutalized and terrified and left to rot. Her nails bite into her palms as bile flavors her mouth. Are they connected? Or did this new bastard just get enough courage from seeing someone else do it that he decided to take a life, too? She’s so tense by the time they arrive at the precinct that her jaw aches from being clenched, and Lir forces herself to relax as they head inside to avoid any probing from her partner.

At the back of the building, down a hallway lit with bright white fluorescents, are the interrogation rooms. The three of them sit on the left-hand side, each with two doors: one for the observation room, one for holding suspects for questioning, separated by a wall and a pane of one-way glass with recording equipment set up to capture the conversations that occur within them. Lir and Dante step into Observation 1, where they find Morrison waiting, watching the man through the window.

“His name is Jonas Miller,” Morrison tells them. “No prior arrests, lives in Hyde Park with his wife, Lucille.”

Dante makes a low noise of surprise that mirrors how Lir feels. Hyde Park is one of the more affluent neighborhoods in Red Grave City, a gated community with manicured lawns, neat hedges, and large houses that start out with six figure mortgages. “He give you anything?” she asks, stepping closer to the glass.

“No. Hasn’t even asked for a lawyer.”

“Huh.” Miller certainly looks like he could afford one without a problem. Even from here, she knows that the watch on his wrist is a Rolex, that the shoes on his feet are too nice to be anything other than genuine leather, probably Gucci. “I’ll take him.”

“You?” Dante doesn’t sound angry, just startled. “Why?”

Lir is already halfway out of the door. “Because he killed a woman. Being questioned by one is going to throw him off.”

The door shuts off his answer. She pauses for a moment outside of Interrogation 1 to put her thoughts in order and breathe deeply to fight off the anger that’s been getting sharper all morning, since she first spotted that guy in the alley where Sophie died. Then she opens the door and steps inside.

Miller doesn’t look up as she takes the seat across from him and pulls out a notepad and a pen. His eyes remain downcast, focused on his hands, and Lir takes him in. His hair is mussed, his eyes bruised and bloodshot, and there are deep scratches in the tanned skin of his face, neck, and forearms. His shirt is too dark for her to tell if there’s blood on it, and if there was any on his hands, he’d been allowed to wash it off, a fact that makes her frown even as she takes the cap off of her pen and writes the date and time at the top of the paper. “Jonas Miller,” she says. He flinches. “Want to tell me what happened this morning?”

“Nothing,” he mumbles. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

Her fingers tighten on her pen. “You were found in Tellula Park with the body of Marie Walters. Officers Simmons and Galstin both stated that you ran from the scene with a knife in your hand.” Miller says nothing. “If we test that knife, do you think it will match the wounds on Marie Walters?”

Slowly, seeming dazed, he shakes his head. “I didn’t touch her.”

He’s lying, a voice whispers. The hair on the back of her neck stands on end at the sound of it, furious and grieving and not at all her own, and she takes a slow breath and counts to ten until the gray at the edges of her vision recedes. “We have a witness, Mr. Miller, one who will be able to identify your voice threatening to kill someone, we have your knife, which will match Marie Walters, and, going from the state of your face, there’s going to be enough skin under her nails to crucify you in court. If you cooperate with me, there’s a chance that the D.A. will work with you. If you don’t, then whatever it is you’re hiding is going to be blasted in the news. Do you understand?”

That gets his attention. He stares at her, his eyes wild, and stammers, “My wife, I-I have to get home to my wife—”

“I’m very sure Marie Walters would have liked to go home, Mr. Miller,” she says coldly.

“My wife is—”

“Why did you kill Marie Walters, Mr. Miller?”

“I never—”

“Did she threaten you, Mr. Miller?” Lir knows she should stop, that anything she gets out of this confession is going to be shit if she goads him any further, but, fuck, he’d been Mirandized and hasn’t asked for a lawyer, and it feels good to see him squirm. “According to her license, she was five foot five and weighed one-twenty. She was half your size, a college girl, so I’m struggling to see how she could have been so dangerous that you stabbed her eighteen times and strangled her with a scarf. What did she do to piss you off, Mr. Miller? What could a girl like that have possibly—”

“She lied to me!” he shouts, slamming his hands on the table. Lir refuses to let that frighten her, because there’s a gun at her hip and a knife in her boot, and he’d be an idiot to come after a cop with all the trouble he’s already about to get himself into. “She swore that she was on the pill, that she didn’t want anything other than a-a partner, and then she called me and said she was pregnant and demanded I leave my wife or she’d tell, and I . . . I . . .” He tapers off, hiding his face in his hands. “I just wanted her to shut up. Just once. She was such a bitch, always mouthing off, I just wanted her to shut the hell up for once.”

“So you killed her,” Lir states flatly.

Whimpering, he nods. A wave of revulsion rises within her; here is a man who looks no older than forty, with a million-dollar house and a wife, wearing designer brands, a man who had decided that he wanted to get his dick wet with a girl half his age, who had killed that girl like she was gutter trash when the consequences of his actions came to fruition, and he’s snivelling like an infant. “Did it ever occur to you, Mr. Miller, that it takes two to cause a pregnancy?” Her voice is ice. “Or did you simply assume that you were too good for a condom?”

His head snaps up, his mouth agape with shock. “What—”

“This is how it reads to me, and how it will read to a jury.” She pushes back her chair and stands. “You entered into a relationship with a college student, telling who knows how many lies to your wife. Did you promise Marie Walters that you loved her? That you would leave your wife for her? And then,” she continues, ignoring his sputtering, “when she, quite naturally, got pregnant—birth control fails, Mr. Miller, all the time—you killed not only her, but her unborn child, all because you were too much of a coward to deal with your actions. You are nothing more and nothing less than a repugnant, low-life, inexcusable—”

The door slams open, and Morrison steps inside, his face passive but his eyes furious. “Thank you, Detective. We’ve gotten what we need from him. The interview is now over.” To Miller, he says, “Officer Simmons will be along to book you while the D.A. decides which charges to press. Excuse us.”

Lir follows Morrison when he leaves, knowing that she’s fucked up but too wired to care. In the hall, Dante is waiting, and he gives a little shake of his head when he catches sight of whatever expression is on her face. Don’t, he mouths.

Morrison turns on her. “Are you out of your mind, Detective Thorne? Do you want that man to walk free? Because that is the only reason I can think of to explain why you’d behave so irresponsibly.”

“I got the confession,” she starts.

“A confession that we’ll be lucky to get admitted,” Morrison snaps. “One look at that and whatever defense attorney Miller hires will petition to get it thrown out on the basis of coercion! You didn’t question him, Thorne, you rode his ass and degraded him, and we’re lucky that he was read his rights and denied an attorney, because those are the only things that might sway a judge into keeping the confession intact.”

“He killed her!” Her voice raises despite her attempts to keep it under control, and she sees Dante wince from the corner of her eye. “It wasn’t some accident. He took a knife with him, he fucked her and then he stabbed her eighteen goddamn times! And you think I rode him too hard?”

Morrison’s mouth twists. “You might want to reconsider your tone unless you want to be working vice from now on, Thorne.”

She opens her mouth, only for Dante to step forward, his hands raised placatingly. “Chief, it’s been a long day. Hell, a long weekend. Neither of us have slept more than four hours, we lost a suspect this morning, and we’re getting nowhere with Marsons. Thorne’s a damn good detective, but even good ones have bad moments from time to time.”

Morrison cuts his eyes from Dante to Lir. “That true, Thorne?”

As much as it humiliates her to do so, she takes the lifeline Dante has given her. “Yessir.”

“Fine.” Morrison studies her a moment longer before turning away. “Even if we lose the confession, forensics will get enough to nail him. You go home and rest. I don’t want to see you for twenty-four hours, understood? I’ll need that long just to clean up this mess.”

She nods, and he glances at her over his shoulder. “I expected better from you, Thorne.”

Then he’s gone, leaving her to wallow in the unpleasant heat of chastised embarrassment, swallowing thickly against the tears that prick her eyes. A hand grips her shoulder, but she refuses to look at Dante, merely shrugging when he says, “Let me give you a lift home,” wishing, not for the first time, that her father was still around to give her advice.

#dmc #devil may cry #dmc dante #dante #dante sparda #dmc oc #lirael thorne #lir #dmc fanfic #dmc fanfiction #writing #story #myfic #wires

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crackspinewornpages · 4 years

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Twelfth-Night; or, What You Will -William Shakespeare

A1S1

In the dukes’ palace there’s the duke Orsino, Curio and other people, “If music be the food of love, play on; give me excess of it, that, surfeiting the appetite may sicken, and so die.”p.343 Curio asks if he will go hunt the hart and the Duke says when he saw Olivia he was turned into one and his desires are like hounds perused him. Valentine enters saying he wasn’t admitted as Olivia is in mourning for her father and brother. The duke wonders how she will love when she pays it all to her dead brother and it killed all other afflictions. (dude people are allowed to mourn how they want and are allowed to stay single as they want and your callous attitude isn’t winning you any points)

A1S2

At the sea coast there’s Viola, the captain and sailors, Viola asks what country they washed up on and the captain says Illyria and Viola wonders what she should do as her brother is in Elysium (basically Greek heaven) after drowning. The captain says there’s a chance and to assure herself when the ship split he saw her brother tie himself to the mast. She asks the captain if he knows the country, he was born and bred there and a duke governs it, and there’s word he’s in love with Olivia. Her father and brother recently died, “for whose dead love, they say she hath abjur’d the company and sight of men.”p.344 Viola comes up with a plan, “conceal me what I am, and be my aid for such disguise as haply shall become the form of my intent.”p.344 (I see why the LBTQ community likes this play) She’ll serve the duke as a eunuch (a man that was fully castrated she uses this as an excuse as to why she has a high voice) and the captain agrees to help her and not say a word.

A1S3

In Olivia’s house, Sir Toby talks to Maria asking what’s wrong with his niece. (you mean besides the fact her father and brother just died) Maria tells him to come earlier, to dress better and behave himself. Sir Toby doesn’t see what’s wrong with his outfit, Maria says his drinking is the problem and she heard Olivia speak of the knight he introduced to her. Sir Toby doesn’t know what’s wrong with Andrew he’s tall, makes three thousand ducats a year, plays the viol-de-gambol and speaks four languages. (but how’s his personality) Maria says while that may be true, he’s also a fool gets into fights and is a coward, “tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of the grave.”p.344 Sir Toby demands to know who says that and Maria tells him they also say he frequently gets drunk with him, Sir Toby says it’s drinking to Olivia’s health, oh here he comes now.

They greet each other and introduces Olivia’s chambermaid and keeps getting her name wrong. Maria leaves and Andrew asks if she has fools in hand Maria replies she has him in hand. (oooh) When she’s gone Toby asks what has him down, Andrew says he sometimes thinks he has no more with than a Christian (ey) or ordinary man or it could be the beef he eats. (or it could be you drink them away) He’ll ride home tomorrow wishing the time he spent on language on the arts, Toby says he has good hair, regardless he’ll ride home tomorrow as his niece won’t have him as the Count woos her. Toby says she won’t worry above herself, Andrew agrees to stay a month and they’ll party together.

A1S4

In the Duke’s palace Valentine tells Viola dressed as a man going by the name Cesario if the duke continues to favor them they’ll advance in no time, he’s not inconsistent in his favors. The duke Orsino, Curio and attendants enter and the duke calls over V/Cesario and orders them to go to Olivia’s and don’t leave until they have an audience. When they see her tell her how much he loves her she’ll listen to them better than someone older. V/Cesario says they’ll do their best, “yet, a barful strife! Whoe’er I woo, myself would be his wife.”p.346 (yup she fell in love with this guy)

A1S5

In Olivia’s house Maria has the clown, Feste, (haha get it his name is Feste sounds similar to festive and he’s a fool) tell them where he’s been the lady would have him hanged for his absence. “Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents.”p.346 Maria warns he could be turned out is that as bad as hanging to him, he says hanging prevents a bad marriage. He’s resolved on two points but Maria says Olivia is coming and to make his excuse wise, “Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”p.346

Movolio and Olivia enter and Olivia orders the fool taken away and the clown tells them to take away Olivia. Olivia says she’s tired of him and he’s dishonest, Feste says he can prove she’s a fool, “to mourn for your brother’s soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.”p.347 Olivia sees his point and calls Movolio distempered and Maria informs them that a young man is at the gate wanting to speak with her. Olivia gives her orders to take care of it and tells Movolio if they’re from court she’s either sick or not at home (I like that this excuse is that old) and tells Toby what’s going on so he leaves. Feste jokes about him and Olivia sends him to make sure nothing happens to her uncle.

Movolio comes back the man at the gate won’t leave and she asks what type of man it is, well he’s not bad looking. Olivia says she’ll allow him to see her (letting a guy in your house because you want to see a cute boy) and has Maria put her veil on. V/Cesario enters and Olivia says to speak V/Cesario says they can only say it to the lady of the house and Olivia finally says it’s her. It’s a poetic, heartfelt message, Olivia says she heard them at the gate and to be brief, “It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture of war, no taxation of homage: I hold the olive in my hand; my words are as full of peace as matter.”p.348 Maria has her attendants leave them alone.

The message is from the duke Orsino and V/Cesario asks to see Olivia’s face and she lifts her veil and V/Cesario praises her beauty. V/Cesario sees she’s proud but Orsino loves her with adorations but Olivia can’t love him and he won’t take that as an answer. “If I did love you in my master’s flame, with such suffering, such a deadly life, in your denial I would find no sense, I would not understand it.”p.349 V/Cesario says they would stay at the gate and sing about love and yell her name to the hills, Olivia (finding this very romantic) tells V/Cesario to tell Orsino she can’t love him and to tell her how he takes it. After they’re gone Olivia repeats V/Cesario’s words she’s intrigued and calls Movolio and orders him to return a ring V/Cesario supposedly dropped and when they return she’ll tell them why she won’t give Orsino a chance. “I do I know not what, and fear to find mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind.”p.349 (it seems girls know what girls want)

A2S1

Antonio asks Sebastian if he can go with him, Sebastian says his fate looks worse than his and he will face his evils alone. He reveals the truth, that he is a prince of the Messaline and his twin sister drowned at sea. They look alike, but she was beautiful but she is drowned and he still drowns he with memory. Antonio says he’ll be his servant but Sebastian won’t accept since he’s going to Orsino’s court, full of enemies (apparently their two countries don’t like each other we’ll see how it turns out) but Antonio still follows him.

Movolio is following V/Cesario to return the ring and says they should come again to report Orsino’s response. V/Cesario won’t take the ring, Movolio says it’s Olivia’s will to give it to them. V/Cesario worries that they charmed Olivia, certain they left no ring and is horrified to think Olivia is in love with them. (darn you false identity shenanigans two woman can’t possibly be together…this didn’t age well today) What will become of it since they are actually a woman they have to untangle this. “My master loves her dearly; and I poor monster, fond as much on him; and she, mistaken, seems to dote on me.”p.350 (a love triangle not whatever those Twilight books had)

A2S3

Toby and Andrew come into Olivia’s room drunkenly singing and reciting proverbs. Feste comes in and they all joke and make asses of themselves, then Maria comes in and yells at them for being loud, it’ll get them thrown out. They ignore her until they see Movolio who calls them crazy, if they don’t have respect them leave. They act like asses and Movolio goes to tattle to Olivia, they’re all sick of him and decided to make fun of him. Maria plots to drop a love note to him in Olivia’s handwriting. “My purpose is, indeed, a horse of the colour.” “And your horse now would make him an ass.”p.352 (sometimes I just love Shakespeare’s wordplay) They plan to leave it where he can find it and hide to watch him, they celebrate with more drinking.

A2S4 In duke Orsino’s palace Orsino orders Curio to get Feste and whines to V/Cesario, “if ever thou shalt love, in the sweet pangs of it remember me; for such as I am all true loves are: unstaid and skittish in all motions else save in the constant image of the creature that is belo’d.”p.352 V/Cesario hints that they are already in love, Orsino believes them and asks what the woman looks like, V/Cesario describes Orsino. Orsino (failing to understand the obvious) tells them to find someone younger and V/Cesario says they’ll think about it. Feste comes in and sings a melancholy song that makes them depressed and the duke has him leave.

After everyone leaves Orsino tells V/Cesario that they must return to Olivia’s house and convince her of his love and refuses to answer what to do if she protests. (no means no) V/Cesario says they must, “Say that some lady, as perhaps, there is, hath for your love as great a pang of heart as you have for Olivia: you cannot love her; you tell her so; must she not then be answer’d?”p.353 Orsino refuses to believe women can love with a passion like men and no woman can compare to his love to Olivia. (Viola what do you see in this guy) He asks what do they know, too well that women are true of heart their father had a daughter perhaps if they were a woman, but stops before they reveal the truth. Orsino wants to know more and V/Cesario makes up a story that the sister loved so passionately and privately she died and they are the last child of the house. The duke gives V/Cesario a jewel to give to Olivia and not to take no for an answer.

A2S5

In Olivia’s garden Toby, Andrew and Fabian meet up all eager to make a fool of Movolio. Maria comes and has them hide in the trees as Movolio is coming as he does he’s reveling in the fact Olivia supposedly loves him. While the others are making fun of him in the trees Movolio fantasizes about being marred to Olivia and being able to give the orders. Movolio then sees the letter Maria planted saying he should wear yellow stockings and talk funny to prove he loves her, he’ll do it. (no questions asked) When he’s gone the others are happy he fell for it and how he’ll look like a drunken fool.

A3S1

In Olivia’s garden V/Cesario and Feste are having a conversation, Feste says he lives in a house by a church, “So thou must say, the king lives by a beggar, if a beggar dwell near him;”p.356 and they have a friendly verbal spar. V/Cesario stops it and pays him a sixpence, Feste says it would be better if he were an older and wiser man. V/Cesario almost reveals the truth when they say they are sick for one and Feste leaves to announce V/Cesario’s arrival to Olivia, “This fellow is wise enough to play the fool, and to do that well craves a kind of wit:”p.356 (how I wish for a wise fool in office and less foolish fools) He must check everyone he jests and adjust a practice full of labor. (no such thing as unskilled labor)

Toby and Andrew enter and greet V/Cesario impressed with them and Andrew copies their mannerisms. Olivia and Maria enter and Olivia dismisses the them so she can be alone with V/Cesario. She tries to get them to say words of love and doesn’t want to hear of Orsino and admits to planting the ring to get them to come back. V/Cesario says they pity her, Olivia takes it “If one should be a prey, how much the better to fall before the lion than the wolf!”p.357 (not well) Olivia says she won’t press them for love and before they leave asks if Olivia has any words for Orsino and she says to stay. They both confess they are not what they seem and V/Cesario says for now they are Olivia’s fool and Olivia soliloquys a declaration of love. “By innocence I swear, and by my youth, I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth, and that no woman has; nor never none shall mistress of it, save I alone.”p.357 They leave and Olivia wants them to come back.

A3S2

Toby, Andrew and Fabian are in Olivia’s house and Andrew is frustrated Olivia won’t return affections she favors V/Cesario. Fabian says that favor is only a ploy to disguise her love for Andrew, (of course because everyone knows woman cant be straightforward and like to play games) he should have accosted her and beat up V/Cesario and now lost his chance in Olivia’s eyes. Now he deeds to redeem himself with something glorious, Toby says to beat V/Cesario in valor and Olivia will notice, so go and write a challenge to them. When Andrew leaves Toby and Fabian laugh certain that neither will challenge the other in a duel. Maria enters telling them that Movolio is acting crazy in accordance to the letter and Toby wants to see.

A3s3

In a street Sebastian and Antonio tells him he won’t leave him alone out of concern risking recognition and arrest. Sebastian is grateful and where should they go, Antonio says tomorrow as he explains he fought with the king’s people and will pay for it. He gives Sebastian his purse and tells him to go to the lodge after going around the town he’ll meet him there. (in no way will this go wrong)

A3S4

Olivia and Maria are in the garden and Olivia tells her she told V/Cesario to come back and what should she do and wonders where Movolio is. Maria tells her he’s acting crazy and Olivia has her bring him. When she comes back with him Olivia asks what’s wrong with him but he won’t explain and recites lines from the letter Olivia believes its madness. A servant comes to say V/Cesario is here and Olivia leaves Movolio to Maria. When she’s gone Movolio is angry it didn’t work, Maria gets Toby and Fabian and Fabian says, “If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as improbable fiction.”p.360 (almost breaking the fourth wall there) They decide if they lock him up the house will be quieter.

Andrew gives his challenge to Fabian to look over and Toby says if the letter doesn’t move V/Cesario he will and tells Andrew to wait for them in the orchard. With him gone Toby sates he won’t deliver the letter since it’s not terrifying enough, he’ll make up his own challenge and paint Andrew a figure of rage and skill. Fabian says Olivia and V/Cesario are coming now and to go and deliver the message. V/Cesario again asks her to give Orsino the time of day, Olivia just gives them a broach with a miniature of herself inside and wants them to come again tomorrow. (got yourself a bit of a problem here Viola)

Toby and Fabian return to see V/Cesario and tell them Andrew is waiting for them to challenge a sword fight and he’s already killed three men. V/Cesario panics since they are actually a woman and wasn’t taught sword fighting and has no quarrel with Andrew and will return to the house. Toby says they must face him and goes to get him and Fabian also says he’s skillful and to make peace if he can. Toby comes back with Andrew bolstering up V/Cesario and they won’t be pacified, and Fabian can barely hold them back. Andrew woes that he thought he was being valiant, and Toby taunts the two to fight. (honestly this seems hilarious)

Antonio enters and offers to take V/Cesario’s place thinking Viola is Sebastian and draws his sword. Toby asks who he is, “One sir, that for his love dares yet do more than you have heard him brag to you he will.”p.362 V/Cesario tells Andrew to put up his sword as officers arrive and arrest Antonio. Antonio thinking V/Cesario is Sebastian asks for his purse back of course V/Cesario doesn’t recognize him or has the purse. Antonio in enraged by this perceived ingratitude for saving him from drowning. “In nature there’s no blemish but the mind; none can be call’d deform’d but the unkind: virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil are empty trunks o’er flourish’d by the evil.”p.363 The officers carry him off and V/Cesario wonders if Sebastian survived and leaves the duel, Toby and Fabian call them a coward and encourage Andrew to beat them up. (in no way this backfire)

A4S1

In the street Sebastian and Feste are talking and Feste mistook Sebastian for V/Cesario insisting Olivia sent for him. Sebastian is annoyed and pays him to go away then threatens him, then Andrew shows up and punches Sebastian, Sebastian, in turn, kicks his ass and calls everyone mad. Toby and Fabian show up and Feste leaves to inform Olivia of the fight as Toby holds Sebastian back, but Andrew still wants to fight him (stay down if you know what’s good for you) and Sebastian surprises everyone by telling him to draw his sword. Olivia arrives telling them to stop and sends Toby out of her sight leaving just her and who she believes is V/Cesario. She tells Sebastian to come with her to the house and she’ll tell him about all of Toby’s antics Sebastian is confused but follows her. “Or I am mad, or else this is a dream: let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep; if if it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!”p.364 (a beautiful woman comes out of nowhere and wants you to follow seems like a dream)

A4S2

In Olivia’s house Movolio is in a dark room and Maria and Feste plan to play pranks on him, Feste will pose are a parson and Toby plays along. Movolio thinks he’s a parson and says they locked him in there and Feste knows enough Latin and drivel to convince him. Toby thinks it’s enough and wants to release Movolio but is also afraid Olivia will kick him out. Toby and Maria leave and Feste continues to fool Movolio and he wants him to tell Olivia he is sane and asks to write a letter to her Feste sings as he goes to get pen and paper. (I guess mentally tormenting a person was funny back then)

A4S3

In the garden Sebastian wonders what’s going on, he’s not crazy, a beautiful countess is in love with him and he can’t find Antonio. He thinks it’s all a dream but he has the pearl Olivia gave him, perhaps she is mad or he is. Olivia comes back with a priest and she’s apologizing for the haste (ordinarily a random woman declaring her love as soon as she meets you and pressures you into marriage that day is a red flag but this is Shakespeare it usually works out) and Sebastian agrees to marry her now and keep it a secret until later.

A5S1

In the street Fabian wants to see Movolio’s letter but Feste won’t give it to him. Then Orsino, V/Cesario, Curio and attendants arrive. Feste and Fabian identify themselves as Olivia’s friends, Feste makes a joke and the duke gives him a coin and has him inform Olivia he is here. V/Cesario says the man that saved them from Andrew is a hero as Antonio and the officers arrive. Orsino recognizes him as a pirate that attacked his fleet, V/Cesario vouges for him, even though he spoke strangely. Antonio claims he was never a pirate but was his enemy that witchcraft brought him and calls V/Cesario an ungrateful boy whose life he saved despite the danger and gave him his purse then denied him. (if anyone does this play can they use the most girly purse they can find like the rest is historic it’s just the purse) Orsino asks when they came to town, three months ago.

Olivia and her attendants arrive as the duke calls Antonio’s words madness as V/Cesario has been with him for that time. Olivia asks Orsino what he wants and asks V/Cesario why they didn’t keep their appointment and the duke turns on V/Cesario and threatens them. V/Cesario agrees to leave with him despite his threats, “And I, must jocund, apt, and willingly, to do you rest, a thousand deaths would die.”p.367 When Olivia asks where they’re going, V/Cesario says because they love Orsino more than their life, more than they would a wife. Olivia cries that she was beguiled to V/Cesario’s confusion (I bet they’re all kinds of confused by now) and Olivia sends for the priest as Orsino orders V/Cesario to come and she orders them to stay as V/Cesario protests. (again if anyone is doing this play can Orsino and Olivia tug on V/Cesario’s arms)

The priest comes and confirms he married them just two hours ago, Orsino accepts it but never wants to see V/Cesario again when Andrew arrives with a busted face. He’s calling for a surgeon and Olivia asks what’s wrong he says V/Cesario just beat him and Toby up, he thought they were a coward but they are the devil. V/Cesario says they never touched him but he drew his sword without cause, Andrew says they did hurt him and here comes Toby. Feste is leading him as he claims V/Cesario beat him but he’s also drunk and Olivia has him sent away and Andrew to help him. (I’m guessing she’s just done with their shit by this point)

Sebastian then runs up to Olivia apologizing for hurting her uncle and Orsino notices the similarities to V/Cesario. “One face, one voice, one habit, two persons;”p.368 Sebastian sees Antonio and is relieved, he was worried and Antonio calls him and V/Cesario an apple cut in two, Olivia calls it wonderful. (I’m sure you do think that) Sebastian wonders what is going on since he doesn’t have a brother, how are they related. V/Cesario says Sebastian was their father’s name and their brother’s, who drowned and Sebastian says he had a twin sister, they describe their father who died when they were thirteen. V/Cesario reveals they are Viola and the captain will prove it since he helped disguise her, she then went to serve duke Orsino.

Sebastian tells Olivia she was mistaken and would have married Viola but, luckily, he is also a bit of a maid. (this most likely meant he is a bit feminine but the LGBT community could takes this so many ways) Olivia calls for Movolio, even though he is crazy right now, he knows where the captain is. Orsino tells Viola she told him she loves a woman like him, she says it’s true and he asks to marry her. Feste comes with the letter and Fabian, Olivia has him read the letter, Olivia still has Movolio sent for and she and Orsino have a truce. Orsino tells Viola that she did so much against her sex and beneath her breeding and will make her his mistress and Olivia calls her sister.

Fabian comes back with Movolio who claims Olivia did him a terrible wrong and Olivia denies it. Movolio hands her the supposed letter she left, he did everything it said to, why did she make it a joke. Olivia says it’s not her handwriting, but Maria’s and she was the one who told her he was mad. She knows who made the practical joke and he’ll be the judge of them, Fabian immediately folds and confesses everything. (some friend you are) Feste quotes some lines from the letter and Movolio swears revenge on them all and everyone goes to talk except for Feste. He stays to sing a philosophical song about men’s lives, “A great while ago the world began, with hey, ho, the wind and the rain; but that’s all one, our play is done, and we’ll strive to please you every day.”p.370

#twelfth night #william shakespeare #books #book summaries #play #comedy #romantic comedy

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